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Dear Men Of The World,

2016 was the year America elected a man who proudly announced that he grabbed women by the pussy and kissed them without permission, and laughed and said, “and if you’re a celebrity, they just let you do it.” A man who thought it was cute and cheeky to brag about walking around dressing rooms full of naked beauty teenage pageant contestants.

2016 was the year that this country, many women included, decided that this kind of behavior didn’t matter enough to disqualify a man from becoming president of the United States.

Something about that moment made something click in the heads of women across this country. It’s not a huge coincidence that so much of this is coming out now, right around the anniversary of that dreadful day.

Let it be known that 2017 is now the year of women saying “Not anymore, motherfucker.”

The goddamned day of reckoning has come.

If you have sexually assaulted anyone; If you have shown someone your dick who did not want to see your dick; If you have sexually harassed anyone; If you have casting couched anyone… you have to know right now that your time is coming. You know who you are. You are probably sitting there right now, worrying about when that will be, when those you hurt will find the strength to come forward. Because the question is no longer if, but when.

You, my friend, are not going to get what Louis C.K. got, what Bill Cosby got, what Harvey Weinstein got. You’re not going to get the years and years of, “Oh, maybe all those women are lying,” or the years of cheeky jokes made by those “in the know.” You’re not going to get to see your career skyrocket while those you harassed or assaulted see theirs stagnate simply by virtue of their not wanting to be around someone who masturbated in front of them against their will. You’re not going to be protected and swaddled by those in enough awe of your talent to overlook the fact that you are a sexual predator. You’re not gonna get, “Ugh, but I still really love ‘Rosemary’s Baby.'” Those days are over.

We are fresh out of fucks to give.

So I have a proposal. Not a modest one.

Rather than ignoring those coming forward for years, hoping they will just eventually fade away, rather than issuing statements from your spokespeople about how you’d never do such a thing, rather than enlisting former Israeli spies to find ways of discrediting those about to take you down, you just come out with it yourselves right now.

That’s right. Take out an op-ed in the New York Times, hold a press conference, send out a tweet and tell us all the things you know we’re going to find out eventually. Be the fella with enough courage to say “I showed my dick to women who did not want to see my dick. I touched women without their permission. I thought my power entitled me to do this, but I was wrong.” And then go the hell away.

This shit is coming out one way or another. The only question now is what you are willing to put others through in the process. If you’re going to make each of your victims come forward individually. If you’re going to make journalists write lengthy exposés on your misdeeds. If you’re going to allow those who respect, care about or work with you without knowing the kind of person you are to make fools of themselves.

If you are a celebrity/sexual predator, especially, it is time for you to stop being famous right now. Stop making things people will like and spend their money on and then feel dirty about later when they find out you are a disgusting predator. Make room in that world for more women, and for more men who are not disgusting predators. For people who are just as goddamned talented as you are, but who don’t abuse their power.

Maybe you pulled some casting couch bullshit with someone. Maybe you used your celebrity to intimidate them into watching you jerk yourself off. Maybe, just maybe, you’re a very famous comedian who once followed a certain someone around for an entire evening, refusing to go away, which eventually culminated both in her deciding the only way to get you to go away was to just pretend to pass out on a couch and you hysterically screaming “She’s just faking being asleep so she doesn’t HAVE to fuck me” at her friend. Whatever it is that you did, I hope you are reading this, and I hope you know your day is coming. I suggest you get ahead of it.

Coming forward, taking these men down? It’s not fun. It is not a good time. It is exhausting and it’s hard. It feels horrible, scary and uncomfortable. It means your parents having to find out you were hurt in that way. It means being “that girl” or “that guy.” It means going several nights in a row without sleep followed by days where you don’t want to do anything but sleep. It absolutely sucks. You can save everyone that trouble by having the decency to come forward yourself.

For those of you coming up in this brave new world, who maybe once thought that climbing the ladder of success would involve getting to sexually harass or assault women who would keep quiet forever because they were so very intimidated by your power? I do not regret to inform you that ladder is now out of service. Don’t even try it. It will not go well for you.

If you do not think you can manage to go about life without sexually harassing or assaulting anyone, do yourself a favor and become a hermit. Do not interact with others. Isolate yourself until you can figure out how to exist in this world the way so many others have before you — without sticking your genitals in the face of anyone who has not explicitly expressed a desire for you to do so. It is far less difficult than it sounds. You can do it. I believe in you.

Take a look at this number. Since this tweet was first posted yesterday afternoon, 105,000 women have retweeted it.

And that number includes only women who have been on Twitter and happened to see this tweet since yesterday afternoon. There will very likely be more once this is published. I think it is fair to say, at this point, that there are likely more women who have had this kind of experience than those who have not. What does that mean? That means that there are a whole lot of you out there who have some goddamned explaining and going away to do.

Get on it.

Sincerely,

Me. Us. Everyone.

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  • Bill D. Burger

    GOP = Gross Old Pedophiles’ party

  • armed_bears

    If we’re this screwed up about relations between the sexes, how did we ever manage to become sooo cool about differences in race, culture and religion?

    • armed_bears

      And I was hoping Robyn was going to have one of the columns on this. $5F would be good, too.

  • Bill D. Burger
  • jesuswasablack

    “Dear Men Of The World”

    You seem to be equating all men with this behavior, that seems a bit unfair? I’m a man and I’ve never engaged in behavior that was degrading to women (unless you include looking at almost every porn site on the internet)?

    https://i.ytimg.com/vi/krZUEpiSWtI/maxresdefault.jpg

    • Lance Thrustwell

      She’s not, JWB. I’m not certain of many things, but one thing I am certain of is that Robyn Pennacchia is capable of nuance.

      • SDGeoff3

        Guaranteed.

    • (((fka_donnie_d))), SOB

      #notallmen

    • Jennaratrix

      Don’t go there, dude. Just don’t. It’s not your time.

      • Lulu Mac

        That didn’t take long…

    • shivaskeeper

      If you are not guilty of what Robyn is talking about, then what Robyn is talking about does not apply to you.

    • Lascauxcaveman

      I was going to say, JWB, I read the whole thing, and I didn’t take it that way at all.

      • Boojum

        Not I. I thought it was appropriately addressed to its target audience. Men who believe that means “all men” are confessing, for why else would they feel that way?

  • armed_bears

    diana nyad bringing the heat on msnbc right now….

    • armed_bears

      And it is awful to hear her, 50 years later, talk about her continuing shame and pain.

  • Skwerl the Taco Hunter
  • BigCSouthside

    What compels someone to be like “surprise I took my dick out”

    • Latverian Diplomat

      “I thought everyone liked my dick as much as I do.”
      — A Creeper

      • armed_bears

        Nailed to a wall, maybe.

        • Indeniable Ron

          Attached or not?

          • armed_bears

            Yes.

          • Good_Gawd_Yall

            Either way works for me.

    • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

      As dad used to say, “keep it in your pants.”

    • Lance Thrustwell

      Yeah I don’t get that either.

    • Bill D. Burger

      Maybe it shouldn’t have (I loathe him.) but the revelation that Mark Halperin took out his cock and masturbated in front of an employee did shock me.
      Who does that ? Oh..I know…but still.
      “Oh, thanks for coming in. Mind if I masturbate while we go over these boring reports?”

      https://78.media.tumblr.com/64538ceebdd754fa369d447237f80910/tumblr_nqu0rip8A21u4njbgo1_500.gif

    • Gussie Jives

      Happened to my mom on a public subway train.

    • wide_stance_hubby

      I think many men feel their dick, especially hard, is some miracle that must be witnessed and worshipped.

      • Lance Thrustwell

        If the worshippers don’t make the pilgrimage, I ain’t bringin’ em the idol.

        • armed_bears

          I refuse to laugh about this, in present context. But please post again someday.

          • armed_bears

            Maybe on Thanksgiving, what with all the pilgrims…

        • FlemmishSpy

          The mountain comes for Muhammad.

          • Lance Thrustwell

            Hmph.

          • SkinlessGenderlessMan

            Thera? Mount Saint Helen’s? Krakatoa?

      • SDGeoff3

        It happens so seldom for some, after all. But you’d think a simple “woo-hoo!” would be sufficient.

    • Suttree

      I knew a guy who did that at my local. He was fucked up in the head. He had no explanation to give. I stopped hanging out with him after that.

    • armed_bears

      Usually, being a Boy Scout troop leader. But I digress from male-on-female awfulness. However, someday, the opportunity will present itself for a fuller explanation.

    • P’jama Pahnts

      It make you wonder…does it ever “work” for these guys? I mean, do they ever actually win a girl over with this shit?

      • Boojum

        They aren’t trying to. They are going for the shock, disgust, fear, trapped emotions cycling across her face.

      • aureolaborealis

        Working = getting away with it. So, yes, it has.

    • natoslug

      I do that occasionally. But only when I’m in the woods, and really have to urinate, and the only eyes watching me are the bugs and the birds, and maybe the occasional rabid fox.

  • Indeniable Ron

    Everything is right about this post.

    Thank you, Robyn. From a man of the world. Or at least a male.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Thanks, Robyn–I fucking needed this.

    • Robyn Pennacchia

      <3

  • Suttree

    I am just going to start assuming that 50% of the guys I see walking down the street have done this shit. And half of the half left over have thought about it, but haven’t YET.

    • Indeniable Ron

      Thoughts of this nature occasionally flit across my brain. I have always assumed that it’s the more primal part of me getting a word in before the stuff on top shuts it down. If there’s a difference, THAT is the difference – that we have something in us that does not countenance such thoughts.

      • Suttree

        It’s shit like this that men do in public with tons of people around, that makes me pretty sure I’m correct. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b1XGPvbWn0A

        • La Cieca

          You mean ten hours of walking around with a camera crew in tow during which time she got catcalled like three times and greeted politely a good deal?

          • Suttree

            If that is the way you saw this, you should seek some professional help.

          • Jennaratrix

            You have it backwards. She was politely greeted a few times. Everything else was a demand to smile, objectification based on her looks (beautiful, damn, sexy, etc.), she was called mami, followed by people she didn’t acknowledge, badgered because she wouldn’t talk or give out her number. Etc.

            Even the polite greetings get to be exhausting. I’m just fucking walking to work or whatever; I don’t need to talk to everyone I come across. Do guys do this to each other? Tell each other to smile? Say good morning to random other guys walking around? Comment on their appearance, their hair, their clothes? Yell at them if they don’t respond? I don’t think they do. Women have a right to move through the world in relative silence, to not have to respond to every single person who demands a little piece of our time based only on the fact that we’re women and we’re supposed to enjoy the attention. I don’t even want to make eye contact some days; men don’t have to. Men don’t even think about this shit. That’s what I want; relative obscurity.

            This was hard to watch, uncomfortable and cringe-inducing. If you don’t think so, well, you’re either a dude it’s never happened to or one of the few women that men insist exist who actually do enjoy being catcalled on the street. It would be irresponsible to speculate.

          • SeekingCovfefeBarbie

            THIS! Not only do they demand attention, they try to punish/intimidate women who refuse to give it.

      • Jamalama

        The difference is we have a conscious brain that we can use to override our more primal urges. Most of us were taught a basic respect which should have included not touching others without permission, etc. Except many seem to feel that doesn’t apply to women, especially when you have any power on them.

  • (((fka_donnie_d))), SOB

    No snark whatsoever

    I started rubbing a woman’s shoulders once in a semi-work environment, and she didn’t enjoy it and told me to stop, and I did. This was like 4-10 years ago. What should I do?

    • Indeniable Ron

      If you stopped, and apologised, and she accepted the apology? And if you didn’t do it again? I figure you learned and it’s cool.

      • (((fka_donnie_d))), SOB

        I don’t know if she accepted my apology or not.

        • Indeniable Ron

          hrrf… I don’t know what to say except that would be bothering the hell out of me to this day. As it has been you.

          • (((fka_donnie_d))), SOB

            Well, at least I can semi-move-on with life.

        • shivaskeeper

          She is under no obligation to accept your apology.

          • (((fka_donnie_d))), SOB

            Yea I got that far.

        • efoveks

          That you apologized is fine. you did the right thing and at that point, it’s not on you (if you meant no offense, which I assume you did not). If she chose not to accept, then so be it but the matter is closed. I don’t know how old you are, but in my day, incidental touching wasn’t the “stranger danger” it is today, thanks to the abuses of predators who co-opted such things for nefarious purposes. Life is a learning experience. :)

    • BosGrl

      Don’t do it again.

    • ltmcdies

      well you stopped when asked and that’s great..

      But now the question is….why do it in a semi work environment at all?
      We teach our kids that nobody should be touching them without their permission.

      It doesn’t just apply to kids.

      • (((fka_donnie_d))), SOB

        I’d go into it, but I’d rather stop digging.

      • Indeniable Ron

        I am seriously split on this, because how the hell did we as a culture get to the point where touching another person has become anath&ae;ma? I’m wholly serious. We’ve got to the point where it’s more acceptable to push someone in public than hug them. Where a kiss, a CONSENTUAL kiss, is shamed but a punch is cheered.
        Yeah, I know, there’s complexities, but a big part of me is convinced that stories like these might not be happening quite so often if we weren’t so freakin’ afraid of ordinary primate behaviour.

        Am I wrong?

        • ltmcdies

          I would suggest that it has ALWAYS been an anathema to the individual on the receiving end to be touched by someone they didn’t want touching them…it’s just now many are now saying enough is enough

          the part of the paragraph above that stood out to me was the

          “semi work environment”.

          also primate behavior ….have you seen what mountain gorillas or chimpanzees do to each other if one “touches” and the other ain’t interested

          • efoveks

            I was thinking it was maybe a volunteer situation. (But I could be wrong.)

          • ltmcdies

            I would suggest that volunteering like at food bank or whatever is still “work like” as opposed to a club or a date.

        • efoveks

          No. This whole environment about it not being the intent of the doer but the interpretation of the receiver (think sexual harassment in the workplace) has gotten way out of hand. Then again, I blame lawyers getting involved. :D

        • SomeBigRedDog

          Primate behavior seems like a low bar. I think we can do better than chimps at the zoo.

          • Indeniable Ron

            One would hope so, and yet here we are. Though I wasn’t thinking of chimps specifically.

        • Claire

          We got there because too goddamn many people can’t touch others appropriately, so we have to tell them not to touch anyone at all. Abuse the privilege and it gets taken away.

    • Dept. of Space Tacos

      on a different, but related topic. What’s the respectful thing to do on a date? I never know when I’m on a date or just hanging out, nor do I ever know when to kiss her.

      Should I ask first? I haven’t been on a date for a long while, but I typically defer to “don’t kiss her,” cause I can’t read “signals” for crap.

      • (((fka_donnie_d))), SOB

        I generally wait til a third date, but I have similar “signals” problems.

      • Lance Thrustwell

        I’m of the “get close, go slow” school. If you get within a few inches, and she’s still making eye contact and seems to like it, you are probably cleared to go for a (soft) kiss. But there’s nothing wrong with explicitly asking at that point either.

      • proudgrampa

        It’s perfectly OK to ask.

        • Dept. of Space Tacos

          I think so too – I guess my question was, should I ask on every first kiss.

          • NastyBossetti

            It doesn’t hurt to err on the side of caution if you’re note sure.

          • proudgrampa

            Doesn’t hurt…

          • onedollarjuana

            Worked for me. Happily married for 36 years now.

          • Dept. of Space Tacos

            molotov!

      • If you’re not sure, just ask. You don’t hurt anyone by asking, as long as you respect a “no” if that’s the answer you get. Asking is OK. It’s better than OK, even.

        • Dept. of Space Tacos

          oh of course, naturally respect a no.

    • FlemmishSpy

      Are you George W Bush?

  • Gosala

    Well, Robyn, that is a damn fine letter.

  • Gussie Jives

    We might as well clear the air all at once, I say! I look forward to several celebrities I have respect for disappointing me to no end! Bring it on!

  • In before any men appear who swear they aren’t sexual predators but are suspiciously outraged by the sentiments expressed in this article.

    • Indeniable Ron

      This one might attract more than a few incel and MRA trolls and mansplainers.

      • elviouslyqueer

        Y’all get ready to fire up the banhammer, because the “Dear Shit Fer Brains” post is fixing to write itself.

        • SDGeoff3

          Lmao. Thank you.

    • Jennaratrix

      Nope. You didn’t beat them in.

  • SDGeoff3

    I was presented with my share of dicks throughout the early years of my training and career too, and not just the two-legged variety. Many gay men in big power are no different. Dicks with dicks. Role models for gay youth.
    It’s rarely acknowledged because so many gay men are self-anointed wounded warriors who understand the trials and challenges of others. Above sexual expoitation, don’t cha know?
    Hogwash.
    And thank you, Robyn, as always, for a fine article.

  • vermonter9

    White man here. I kinda knew harassment still went on, but I admit to stupidly thinking it was diminishing with time and “getting better.” Me Too has revealed a hidden but universally true thing, and all this harassment and assault and abuse, taken together, really does amount to oppression, and is part of what keeps women from achieving real equality. The society is 100% more misogynist than I ever knew. I had no fucking idea.

    • Gosala

      I had no idea either until the Rev enlightened me. It’s horrifying and its why we let the woman speak while we listen and examine our own souls.

    • arglebargle

      Same for me. Even as a sexual assault survivor. It ties into the shock that racism in this country was/is still so prevalent that a piece of trash like Trump could get elected. I know, Clinton got the majority of the votes, but it shouldn’t have been close. Even with the Russian fuckery.

      • 52camellias

        Finding out on Election Night that there were so many racist Trump-liking voters in America was a dreadful, saddening shock to me. I can understand the people in rural counties, whose desperation has been ignored for so long that they were willing to try anything, but the mean-spirited immigrant-hating heartlessness of his other set of voters turns my stomach.

        • Lascauxcaveman

          Turns out they were just mostly racist, misogynist AND too goddam dumb to know their fat orange hero was a total fraud.

    • King Beauregard

      It’s something like racism: we’re aware it’s there and sometimes we see clear signs of it, but those who engage in it are usually cagey enough to not admit what they’ve done outside of an accepting audience. Then something happens — like Trayvon Martin — and suddenly they all reveal themselves all at once.

    • commatoes

      Same.

      • Lascauxcaveman

        Ditto.

  • Vincent Ricola

    Yep. There are consequences to electing our least qualified pussygrabber instead of our most qualified woman to POTUS. One of them is a whole lot of furious women who are done with this bullshit.

    • Ninja0980

      Election night this year is just the start.

    • Painter of Goats

      This might be the only silver lining in the awfulness that has been this past year.

    • Persistent Demme

      And there is hope.
      I ignored cat calls as a young lass.
      My fierce daughters will turn around and yell “FUCK OFF!” if someone dares.
      I’m sure they are done with other bullshit, too.

      • YoBunnyBunny

        Our girls really is learning…

        I have to admit, some these girls are exceptionally woke these days, and they are having none of it! When Ariana Grande did her little feministy manifesto a few years ago, light weight though it may have been, she was further along than I was at her age. I really hope the next generation (or two) will finally put this shit to bed.

        https://www.vanityfair.com/hollywood/2015/06/ariana-grande-issues-important-feminist-manifesto

    • Gussie Jives

      I don’t think it can be understated just how much of a wake-up call that single night really was. Up until November 9th 2016, we had the luxury of laughing Trump off; even the “pussy grabber” stuff was understood as a creepy bastard just being a creepy bastard and we could all ignore him soon enough. The world is just and it’ll take care of him.

      But once it dawned on us just how awful too many of our neighbours are, that they really hated women so much that they would gladly elect somebody woefully unqualified, the floodgates were unlocked and primed to open. We realized that the just world is a fallacy and it was incumbent on us, all of us, to do something about it. I don’t think the Weinstein revelation would have had the impact if Donald Trump had lost the election; we watched a powerful sexual assaulter not just get away with it, but achieve the highest office. That’s not happening again.

      The good news is that it really did take everything the deplorables had to narrowly squeak out a win for their head douchebag. It took voter suppression, Russian interference, a complacent media that already had it in for Hillary Clinton and the last-minute interference of James Comey to barely give Trump the White House. In a sane world, it wouldn’t have been as close as it was, but America being what it is, we knew that there were going to be 25-35% of the electorate that were completely captured by the right-wing echo chamber. The perfect storm that gave Trump the White House is unlikely to hit twice, so that should encourage the resistance.

      • george lastrapes

        I fear war and martial law.Nothing the Strumpet does should surprise us any more.

  • BearGHAZI

    Feels good, to have never molested or sexually harassed anyone

    • Proud Liberal

      A man with a moral compass. I salute you sir.

      • BearGHAZI

        Your salutation may be premature. Possibility the weekend will be spent in the dark of my apartment pantsless and eating Doritos

        • proudgrampa

          As long as the Doritos give you permission…

          • BearGHAZI

            Silence is consent in this singular instance

          • Indeniable Ron

            If they DO object, you might want to stop and wait until you’re no longer high.

          • NastyBossetti

            Likewise if they consent!

          • Indeniable Ron

            ‘Eat me! I’m Nacho Cheese!’

          • NastyBossetti

            I only eat cheese that IS my cheese.
            sorry.

          • Lascauxcaveman

            Yeah, they were asking for it, alright…

    • Lance Thrustwell

      Yeah, it does. But I don’t want to feel too self-congratulatory about it. It’s like Chris Rock says – “You’re supposed to {not molest anyone], you low-expectations-havin’ motherfucker!”

      • BearGHAZI

        definitely not a hero here

        • Lance Thrustwell

          {grin}. Not yelling at you, I just always thought that was a funny line.

    • Painter of Goats

      I still want to believe most men can say the same. But there are far more slime bags out there than I ever imagined.

    • aureolaborealis

      If only ‘not being rapey’ had been Two-Scoops’ personal Vietnam.

  • Lulu Mac
  • P’jama Pahnts

    “You got to marry these girls when they are about 15 or 16”
    — Phil Robertson

  • Iron Monkey

    “Pardon me while I whip this out”, has only ever worked once and that as a movie line.

    • armed_bears

      Agreed. & Pls see my “cherish Mel Brooks” thread from yesterday.

      But it’s ” ‘scuse me while I…”

    • commatoes

      A movie that could not be made today. A milestone in film.

  • schmannity

    men, you don’t need a license to conceal carry your penis.

  • Bill D. Burger
    • SDGeoff3

      Because of course.

    • Persistent Demme

      I want to smack everyone of them in their smug little faces, (with votes)!

      • Teto85

        With votes. And a baseball bat and a lead pipe. And votes.

    • BearGHAZI

      Wow, they are so gleeful about their shittiness

      • Celtic_Gnome

        Mitch’s didn’t look gleeful. That’s the look of someone who tried to let out a quiet fart and realized it was a lot wetter than expected.

    • Martini Ambassador 🍸

      That’s a lotta white male privilege right there.

    • TJ Barke
    • commatoes

      They all look like they ate too much gas station sushi before the press briefing.

  • weejee

    True story:

    A million years ago my sis worked as a stew for Eastern Airlines (really a million years). She and a fellow stew we’re being dropped off at Boston’s Logan airport. As they were creeping-along at the curb, a dude in a trench coat flashed them. The gal my sis was with was sitting on the curb-side and smoking with the window down. She put her cigarette out on the flasher’s dick.

    • Dept. of Space Tacos

      ooouch, but deserved.

      When I first started working downtown, me and some other people were waiting at a light. A vehicle drove by with its window down, the guy inside was listening to porn, just CRANKED THE FUCK UP.

      I looked back at hte lady behind me, shocked and horrified, she just laughed.

      • P’jama Pahnts

        You sure it wasn’t just a top 40 radio station?

        • Dept. of Space Tacos

          heh.

          ooooh yeah. I”m a dude with internet access, I KNOW what porn sounds like.

          • SDGeoff3

            Lmao this morning. Sorely needed.

          • Dept. of Space Tacos

            Than my job is done here.

            :D

          • SDGeoff3

            Your job is safe, believe me. Aren’t you supposed to be in class? Did they give you the holiday?

          • Dept. of Space Tacos

            no friday classes (but saturday ones for some odd reason).

            Normally I’d be at the internship, but since we’re a government office we have ALL THE HOLIDAYS!

            Good, as I need to study all day for my test tomorrow. Tons o’ crap to memorize in…(checking)…21 hours.

          • SDGeoff3

            No cocktails for you!

          • Celtic_Gnome

            I find sound in porn weird. My earliest experiences with non-static porn were peep shows, and they didn’t have sound.

        • SDGeoff3

          Drive time.

          • Indeniable Ron

            Must depend on ‘where.’ CFNY’s Pete and Geets famously played The Sex Pistols’ ‘Friggin’ in the Rigging’ during morning drive time back in the early 80s. The station was expecting a call from the CRTC that never materialised, and to this day no-one knows why.

    • SeekingCovfefeBarbie

      My jaw literally dropped. Awesome!

    • I like stories with happy endings.

    • FlemmishSpy

      That’s some tip!

    • commatoes

      So the moral of this story is…

    • aureolaborealis

      My sister used to deck gropers. The family was traveling in South and Southeast Asia, and, being the corn-fed blondie that she was, she was usually at least as big as the men who were trying to grab her tits. So I got used to seeing creeps feign innocence and outrage as they climbed back to their feet checking for broken and/or bloody noses. Pretty sweet.
      Unfortunately, given her current politics, she may actually be a Moore apologist.

    • Keith Taylor

      Hooray for her.

  • John Lo

    For me, your best essay e v e r Robyn Pennacchia!
    #NoMoore

    • SDGeoff3

      We say that every time!

  • Bill D. Burger

    Republicans: The Party of Family Values

    https://assets.rbl.ms/10482157/980x.gif

  • Ninja0980

    As a gay man, I can sadly relate (to a degree) what it is like to be harassed etc.
    Trust me when I say there are way too many men both gay and straight who think they have a right to catcall,grope or worse no questions asked.

    • SayItWithWookies

      I believe you. I’ve been groped twice at work — once by a man and once by a woman.

    • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

      And POS pricks like Spacey who exploit the coming-out process as a bullshit excuse for their behavior. That asshole. I’m not even gay and I already knew that the bigots were going to come out in full force to say “SEE! SEE! GAYS ARE PEDOS! JUST LOOK AT KEVIN SPACEY!” …while ignoring Roy Moore.

      We need to write affirmative consent into the fucking Constitution.

      • SDGeoff3

        I can’t even. Don’t get me started.

  • canes_pugnaces

    Not bloody likely. After years in Hollywood, I can state categorically: not bloody likely. Harvey is the tip of the iceberg. And it’s not just sexual abuse, it’s verbal, physical, and psychological. I worked for a studio boss who once took a dumb on his assistant’s chair. Another studio head I knew, a practicing Buddhist, kept a list on his wall of the starlets he fucked. I could go on.

    So I repeat: not bloody likely.

    • BosGrl

      When a few coworkers and I were verbally abused for months by a (female) director, the (female) HR rep told us it was just her “style” and basically, get over it.

      • Toomush_Inferesistance

        It’s not easy to mention, because it’s so difficult not to feel like outing, but I’ve been propositioned, groped and treated to salacious teasing by a lot of women in workplaces, including two bosses over the years. I pretty much just ignored it. I’m pretty sure mentioning it now opens me up to a lot of folks saying I just imagined it, these things never happen because women, etc. But, there it is…. if that unwillingness to talk about it is what women who are now talking about this feel, at least I have an inkling of that unwillingness…

        • BosGrl

          I am sou sorry that happened to you. I understand how hard it is to come forward. Gender really has nothing to do with it except historically men want to keep their traditional power over women. But women do it too. Thank you for sharing that.

        • It seems there’s a fair amount of women who think the need to BE men to be the boss. It’s gross and I’m sorry that happened to you.

  • BadKitty904

    What matters that I was born a woman, if I can cure your misfortunes? I pay my share of tolls and taxes, by giving men to the State.

    But you, you miserable greybeards, you contribute nothing to the public charges;
    on the contrary, you have wasted the treasure of our forefathers, as it was called, the treasure amassed in the days of the Persian Wars. You pay nothing at all in return; and into the bargain you endanger our lives and liberties by your mistakes.

    Have you one word to say for yourselves?… Ah! don’t irritate me, you there, or I’ll lay my slipper across your jaws; and it’s pretty heavy.

    Lysistrata, by Aristophanes,

    • SDGeoff3

      Whose translation? That’s gooood!!

      • BadKitty904

        It’s from The Athenian Society’s limited-edition publication, Aristophanes: The Eleven Comedies, released in 1912 (?!). No translator listed, alas.

        • SDGeoff3

          Many thanks. Ima look for it.

        • SDGeoff3

          Here’s a thank you. I have trouble moving links, so you may want to google a couple of versions online. Debra Scroggins has set A Dream Within A Dream, the text of the Poe excerpt that you like, for choir, published by Oxford U Press. I’ve done the piece and it’s really moving. It’s one of my favorite poems too.

          • BadKitty904

            How kind! I will track it down tout suite. You are, I believe, the first on Wonkette to recognize the source of my profile quote!

            https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/ea07842b17cd70233a897af661680278b319a58c754569584d95f65c87716f27.gif

          • SDGeoff3

            That’s too cute!
            I did a Day of the Dead choral concert several years ago, including a short setting of the Requiem mass and some motets. And I discovered the Poe piece and thought, wouldn’t it be cool to end with this? Like a big question mark for everyone to take home with them. I hope you like it.

    • commatoes

      [mike drop]

      • BadKitty904

        (Or whatever the Attic equivalent of a mike would be)

        • Toomush_Inferesistance

          Talking Stick?…

  • beingreleased

    Trump: “In about 10 years I’ll be dating her.”
    Moore: “Why wait?”

  • laughingnome

    I hope for all our sake women stay angry and make them pay in the ballot box each and every election.

    • Vincent Ricola

      They think their shitty enabling voters are motivated… hold MY beer.

  • ManchuCandidate

    I was an awkward teen. But also didn’t realize I was creepy. I grimace at the times as a teen I stalked a girl because I wanted her to be mine. I stopped.

    On the bright side I have never sent any dick pics.

    • HarryButtle

      Sadly, that’s what we were taught. Stalking her showed her how much you really cared.

      • theCryptofishist

        I can’t help thinking that we are going to have to crack the culture and stop having that stalking until love is proven plot in all those tv shows and movies.

        • HarryButtle

          Exactly right. Shit, look at any movie released during the late 70’s-early 80’s and you’re sure to find an “inappropriate contact/stalking” scene that actually paid off for the guy in the end.

    • commatoes

      Same, same, and same.

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸

    I did see that tweet about unwanted penis display and did not retweet it, because honestly, I didn’t want to have the conversation with those friends and family that would have seen it and asked. There are multiple instances, and I don’t want to relive them all with others, even though they would be supportive and would mean well. I’m dealing, I’m ok, and I’m happy to have moved on. So believe me, there are more than 105K women who this has happened to.

    But I will share this one time. I was in the tv/activity room of my college dorm, which was on the ground floor and backed out to a publicly-accessible green area. Some girlfriends and I were watching TV (probably MTV because they were still playing videos in that era) and I glanced up to see a man at the glass door, trou down, whacking off furiously. I stared dumbfounded for a minute, and then just started laughing. Clearly that was not the reaction this jerkoff was looking for, so he just stopped. By that point, one of my dorm mates looked up to see what I was laughing at and screamed when they saw him. He took off running, tripping over his pants as he was frantically trying to pull them back up.

    To my knowledge, campus security never caught the guy, although I reported it immediately.

    • Lance Thrustwell

      I hope I can be forgiven for snickering at the image of that guy tripping over his pants.

    • beingreleased

      I’ve been reading a lot of these stories and my first thought is that I honestly can’t imagine this ever seeming like a good idea. Who does this (apparently a lot of people, and actually I don’t want to know the answer)?

  • Résistance Land Shark Ω

    I have a daughter. I don’t think my “Steel Toed Votes” would be able to stop “voting” him in the truck nutz.

    (wrong thread, but still applies)

    • wide_stance_hubby

      Early and often.

      • Résistance Land Shark Ω

        … and mail in votes just don’t have the same effect …

    • P’jama Pahnts

      Let’s hope the touch-screen voting machine survives your input

    • commatoes

      I have an irrational fantasy concerning justice for Roy Moore and his ilk. I involves him being tied to a tree, a stick of dynamite, a jar of vaseline, and ten minutes of fuse. For Weinstein, I think his worst torment is to be ignored and forgotten. I want this for every single one of his remaining days.

      Damnatio Memoriae!

      • Major_Major_Major

        My only suggestion; save the vaseline.

        • commatoes

          I considered that. Actually, I have given this more thought than is probably healthy.

        • It wouldn’t be for him, per se. It would just save time on the preparation.

          Why yes, I have given this some thought.

      • Résistance Land Shark Ω

        Fire ants … trees and fire ants.

  • SayItWithWookies

    Last night on Marketplace, they did a story on sexual harassment in the workplace — specifically in lobbying, because of all the state legislative accusations coming out now — and interviewed a woman in a California firm who said that sort of behavior was rampant. The interviewer (I think it was the host, Kai Risdahl) asked her how long it took from joining the firm to her first sexual harassment episode and she said “two weeks.” Also, she said every professional woman she knew had experienced some sort of unwanted advance at the workplace at least once.

    So that’s where we are. Look at the women you work with — professionals, smart, dedicated, ambitious, wanting to be recognized for their achievements — and realize that every one of them has had that sense of dread about what a fuckin’ boss or colleague is going to try to pull today.

    • Lascauxcaveman

      Funny, I asked my wife a few days ago if she had ever been sexually assaulted at work, and she said no. I think she’s be honest with me, since when we first started dating she was more than forthright about the semi-abusive relationship with her exBF she was dating immediately before me.

      She’s worked in a lot of office situations where men and women work together and she is an attractive woman. But she’s also the kind of gal who sort of gives off the ‘do not fuck with me’ vibe. I think it has served her well.

      • SayItWithWookies

        Well harassment and assault are two different things. If someone made a lewd comment at her and she stared at him until his balls froze, that counts as harassment but not assault.

  • Boojum

    I learned when I was in my mid-20’s that my Mom was molested as a very young child, but had to keep it secret so that her Dad did not end up in jail for murder.

    • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻
    • Lance Thrustwell

      Sorry that happened. Reminds us all of the problem with ‘honor’ societies, even when they seem to be aligned on the good side.

    • C4TWOMAN

      Holy crap. Sorry that happened but it seems the scum bag was into some really hard core shit.
      Or did you mean “in jail or murdered”?

      • shivaskeeper

        Dad would have committed murder if he found out.

        • J. M. Tusks, Esq.

          I thought Dad did commit the murder and her speaking up would arouse suspicion.

      • Boojum

        Murdered. By my grandfather.

  • Gussie Jives

    I once knew a guy in engineer school who was always quick to boast about a sexual conquest, odious as that was, but I never said anything. I wonder if perhaps I should have challenged that behaviour. But I didn’t want to feel like “the prude”, particularly when I wasn’t the party or relationship guy. Being introverted as I am, I haven’t personally witnessed anything, either at a social gathering or at the office… but I know it’s out there. And I’m vigilant now.

  • A Groucho Marxist

    As a heavily Caucasian man, I can honestly say that no one has ever suffered as much or been as marginalized as I have been today by this article.

    • Lascauxcaveman

      LOL @groucho

  • MynameisBlarney

    I never sexually harassed anyone or groped anyone that I wasn’t in a relationship with.
    That said.
    When I was a much younger man, I thought every woman wanted me and couldn’t resist my charms, I’d get them to go out on dates with me, and if they didn’t “put out” on that 1st date, I’d dump them.
    Later, when I was a slightly older piece of shit, I’d tried to date as many women as possible. I treated it like it was a game.
    Sad to say that I didn’t wise up on my own and stop my shitty behavior until it happened to me.
    It took the woman I actually fell in love with and asked to marry me cheating on me to start thinking about my past behavior, how fucking awful they must have felt, consequences and karma.
    I was 22. I’m 47 now.
    Over the years, I’ve become able to admit that I’m horrible at relationships.
    I am afraid that if I get in a relationship again, I’ll fall back into my old pattern of cheating.
    So, I don’t date.
    I’d rather be single forever than put anyone through that pain ever again.
    Not sure if this counts, but it’s my two cents about being a dickhead.

    • Lance Thrustwell

      As a friend of mine once said – it’s never too late. If you’re 99 years old and face down in the gutter – maybe then it’s too late. Maybe.

      But that said – don’t get me wrong. Ain’t nothin’ wrong with being single.

      • MynameisBlarney

        True, but until I can trust myself to not be THAT fuckin douchebag again, I’m just gonna err on the side of caution.

        • Dept. of Space Tacos

          me too!

          We are brothers my friend.

        • Dept. of Space Tacos

          p.s. I know I’m on solid ground when she kicks me in the shins and tells me, “KISS ME DAMMIT!”

          • DrBigHead

            I waited for MsBigHead to make nearly every first move, up to and including proposing. This happened after we had been living together for about 18 months. Were sitting on the couch and she said “well, I supposed we should get married.” Seems like we made the correct decision.

          • Dept. of Space Tacos

            : D

      • 🍁 Treg Brown 🍁

        “Ain’t nothin’ wrong with being single.”

        hear! hear!

    • Indeniable Ron

      If it helps, I do understand, but I also think you might be being unnecessarily harsh on yourself. You’re not the same person now that you were then. It sounds like you’ve learned a thing or two. Maybe, if the right someone happens across your path, you could at least think about it?

      • MynameisBlarney

        Maybe.
        But I’ve become REALLY comfortable being single.

        • Dept. of Space Tacos

          IKR? It’s safe. (FWIW, I think you’re an awesome dude and light years (parsecs? Which is farther) away from these kinds of people).

          • Indeniable Ron

            i parsec = 3.26 ly or 1/12 the length of the Kessel Run.

          • theCryptofishist

            Shit. Well, I’ll leave that egg on my face, in the name of humility.

          • theCryptofishist

            Light years, by a country mile.

        • Paul

          Yeah. Me too. Confirmed bachelor till age 61. Then I met Holly here on Wonk and she now lives here in my hermit cabin in the woods and all is wonderful.
          Never EVER thought I’d be doing this, but it happened and I’m thrilled it did. I guess I’m saying “never say never”

    • Dept. of Space Tacos

      i think a lot of us men were young, crude, offensive dicks at some point or another. I know I was.

      The key is we get it and do better and respect others.

      “I’d rather be single forever than put anyone through that pain ever again.”
      And I agree with that last bit completely. Its why I rarely, rarely ask women out, flirt, or even give ’em a kiss on the rare date.

    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      You do realize that everyone who grew up prior to the millenium grew up fucked up about sex and has spent most of their adult life trying to understand why they feel guilty, whether they acted inappropriately or not…?

      • MynameisBlarney

        That doesn’t excuse the way I went through girlfriends.

        • Toomush_Inferesistance

          Finding and sharing love is a quest. You had some learning to do, and, it may be that many of the girls you dated had their own demons keeping them from emotional intimacy, too. It’s great that you finally did what made you comfortable, but I’d like to think that finding your soulmate is still an important thing for most people to do…

    • DrBigHead

      I was actually too shy/terrified of women through high school to ever be in a position where inappropriate behavior was even an option. Beginning in college I had several very close women friends. Completely platonic. Have maintained some of these friendships to this day. For whatever reason, always managed to keep sex out of it. MsBigHead has always encouraged me to maintain these relationships.

      • Rebel Scum with permit

        MsBigHead is a very special lady.

        • DrBigHead

          Yes, I know.

    • Rebel Scum with permit

      People can change. They really can. I’ll be honest, to try to offer some help. As a woman in my younger years, I was the Other Woman, The Woman Who Cheated, and finally, The Woman Who Got Cheated On.
      They all suck, and I’ve remembered it always. I’ve been in a 17 year old long distance relationship, and likely the worlds longest engagement. Yes there have been opportunities to cheat. But no. I won’t do it. It’s not just love of my partner, although it is. I simply will not go down that road again.
      You can change.

    • ltmcdies

      well it sounds like you grew. There are individuals who still behave as you described your young self in their fifties and sixties…

  • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

    Why isn’t Robyn the president of everything? Can we have a mulligan election?

    • Résistance Land Shark Ω

      Robyn Pennacchia is a brilliant, fabulously talented and visually stunning angel of a human being …

      Sadly, not in Donnie Dumbass’ Murrikkka.

  • YoBunnyBunny

    Upfists for Angela Bassett burning shit down.

  • BadKitty904

    Though a gay male, I am rather pint-sized and know what unwanted groping is like. I’m fully aware of the justified rage it engenders in the heart of the molested.

    That said, the Reich-wing might want to carefully consider the logical consequences of its hell-bent push to arm all and sundry. Actions have consequences, boys…

    • laughingnome

      I was groped twice in my life by idiot men when I was a young guy – I’m also pint sized though heterosexual. It was traumatic. I still think about once it a while. But I hope it’s given me more empathy for those who endure that crap – men and women.

    • SDGeoff3

      My grampa was 5’4” and one of his best lines was, “oh yeah? Well you just remind them that dynamite comes in small packages!”

      • BadKitty904

        I am also a redhead. I can honestly say that no one who’s ever pestered me did it more than once.

        • SDGeoff3

          Atta boy. Wait until you read my memoirs which I will call “Why I Drink: Fifty Years In Church Music” in which I explain how a sincerely delivered knee to the groin is the most effective way to dispatch a priest in full Mass vestments five minutes prior to the first hymn.
          Oh, I have stories!

          • BadKitty904

            I know that ploy well:

            Oh, I’m sorry! I must’ve slipped! Are you OK?

          • SDGeoff3

            NUh-uh. I just let him have it and stood there and stared at him. And two people walked in and he had to appear normal. Then I turned to leave and said, Father Dan, I hope you feel better soon.
            Don’t mess with the best.

          • BadKitty904

            The subtle approach, eh?

          • SDGeoff3

            Charm offensive.

          • BadKitty904

            Smoove…

        • aureolaborealis

          Years ago I was checking out at a supermarket in Philly when the manager, who was a skinny 5’5″-ish fiery redhead, came over to the big dude standing next to me, grabbed him by the lapel of his leather jacket and started pushing him back out of line. He unzipped the leather jacket and started pulling out the steaks the guy was shoplifting, then yelled in a hardcore Philly accent, “Yo. Must. Bay. Fuckin. RETAHDED!”
          It was a glorious moment in ginger history.

          • BadKitty904

            We will put up with only so much shit.

    • paxpax

      Preach. I’m the opposite of pint-sized (and a gay male) and have had my share unwanted touch (and more) both as a minor and an adult.

      • BadKitty904

        I’m no advocate of violence, but this is assault and must be stopped. Period.

  • Bill D. Burger

    Best bitch slap of a Roy ‘The Pedo Boy’ Moore bible thumpin’ defender:

    https://twitter.com/MooreSenate/status/928771064406167552

    https://twitter.com/2LiveDrewUF/status/928780779047571456

    • theCryptofishist

      “Our children and grandchildren’s futures are on the line.

      So rest assured —I will make sure you have lots and lots of baby girls, that you can raise until they are in their early teens, and I will help you separate the sluts from the godly ones, via experimentation.”

      • theCryptofishist

        (Ever do the thing where your snark starts to disgust you because you cut too close to the bone?)

        • Lascauxcaveman

          On this site? All the time.

  • Donald Trump supports the Death Penalty…

    For Roy Moore and himself. 😀
    https://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/255294883680632833

    • wide_stance_hubby

      Won’t someone think of the chidlren?

      • theCryptofishist

        They need closure.

    • J. M. Tusks, Esq.

      One for literally everything. My doctor has forbidden me to use Twitter, so I hope you’re doing the socially responsible thing and retweeting these right at him.

  • Anna Rompage

    When I was a stupid 15 year old boy, I had a girlfriend. We would hang out, go to the movies, we would kiss and grope with that innocent yet lustful teenage abandon…

    We talked about having sex, it was something that seemed likely at some point.

    For her 16th birthday, I went to the mall, entered a lingerie shop, and bought her a modest teddy, thinking that every woman would want such a thing.

    After being innnunated with scantily clad women on tv, in the movies, I just thought that was one of those things.

    What I found is the process of buying such an intimate thing, at such a young age, was a horrifying and embarrassing situation, worse than even buying condoms at that age.

    We went out for dinner for her birthday, we’re having a really fun evening. We ended up back at her place, in her room, with the door closed.

    We made out for a little bit and then I have her the gift.

    Needless to say, at first, the look on her face was that of being puzzled until she realized what was in the box. Then that look when from puzzlers to horrified. She then began to laugh at me, and schooled me on why this was inappropriate in so many ways…

    I really wish I could go back and do that different. God boys & men can be stupid jerks…

    • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

      At least you didn’t send it to your long-lost dad…

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=syhyf6_bFyM

    • calliecallie

      Don’t be too hard on yourself. A modest teddy doesn’t seem so awful to me. It’s not like you made her model it for your or took pictures or something.

    • theCryptofishist

      I feel for your 15-year old self. I’m also glad that she was able to teach you a lesson that you needed to learn. I hope that if you were to run into her today, that it would be positive for both of you, despite that experience.

    • Persistent Demme

      My 15 year old boyfriend did the same thing.
      He got me silly (black lace and yellow fabric) bikini panties.
      They also said “left a bit.” (A joke using a famous game show saying at the time, that he probably thought that was pretty funny!)
      My parents were horrified, and convinced we were up to no good, (we weren’t).
      He and I were just confused, and couldn’t understand what all the fuss was about.
      He was SO embarrassed! (I’ll bet he remembers it to this day.)

  • C4TWOMAN

    PS: everyone else:

    Don’t hesitant to be a bitch or an obnoxious loud bastard when you witness someone trying something inappropriate. You might be concerned about “making a fuss”, fuck those people who care more about “disruption” than personal and public safety.

    An once of prevention is worth a pound of cure.

    • Vincent Ricola

      The days of being afraid of making waves ended for me on election night. If, after all this time and all the thinkpieces and all the laws, women are still looked at like weak beings that exist to support a male society, well then fuck them all with the fucks I lost on Tuesday, Nov 8, 2016.

      • C4TWOMAN

        Thing is this was ALWAYS my go to. As a kid I intuitively knew would be predators want silence and control, so do the opposite! Even today the INSTANT I think a guy is trying to hit on me or start something and I’m not interested, all my responses are just shy of drill sergeant loud, as if I’m giving a tourist with bad English directions. And I’m plastic friendly about it too: “Nope sorry, don’t know what you’re talking about. Good luck, sir!”

        It accomplishes several things, one of the most important being he cannot claim I ‘led him on’ “.

        I say this to help, not criticize. Go with that loud instinct.

  • greyXstar

    Just a little louder for the people in the back

  • Bill D. Burger
    • Martini Ambassador 🍸

      It only counts as pedophilia if a female shares a bathroom with a trans person, as it turns out. Everything else is romance and/or the fault of little sluts with overly mature sex drives.

  • natoslug

    I’m not sure how prevalent sexual assault and harassment really is. I mean, really, out of my wife and her five sisters, only six of them were sexually assaulted as children (fortunately for them, the rapist for each was also a member of the church or a family member, so the bishop got them to promise not to do it again, and convinced the girls they would heal once they learned to forgive and move one . . .) . As for ex-girlfriends, only half of them claimed to have been raped/assaulted as children. Sure, if I ignore confirmation bias, I might believe that it is a common problem, but surely I hang out with outliers. Right?

    • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

      I hope Robyn or 5$F (or anyone here, really) writes a follow-up about traitor women like Betsy DeVos who cry “won’t someone please think of the predator” — or people like this Fox News bitch:

      https://www.rawstory.com/2017/11/fox-news-legal-analyst-actual-victims-of-sexual-predators-are-very-few-and-far-between/

      • natoslug

        Betsy DeVos can go fuck herself with a rusty pitchfork. I thought about adding in my own experience and that of several other family members’ experience with sexual assault, but the more I type about this shit the more depressing it gets. I’m amazed that there are people who make make it through life without being raped or assaulted at least once.

        • theCryptofishist

          (Internet hugs.)
          (Quite possibly as useless as thoughts and prayers…)

          • natoslug

            For my own experiences, the past year is the first I’ve started bringing it up in the, what? 40 years? since it happened. I find just thinking about it makes me angry. Angry that I let something happen to me, even though I was only 8-9, and he was a grown-ass adult. Guilty that my reaction was to withdraw, to not let anyone know that a school had a teacher who definitely did not know the definition of bad touch, and who most likely was able to continue his behavior because I was afraid. And angry again. Angry that I could let one fleeting instant in my childhood have such an impact on how I see myself and my worthiness for love or affection, anger that some asshole I can’t even remember the name of at this point has helped make try to sabotage pretty much every relationship I’ve been in because I obviously do not deserve to be loved. I think it’s time for a mid-morning cocktail or a long fucking walk. I can’t even imagine what it’s like for people who’ve gone through worse, and who’ve had to do it repeatedly. Women are amazingly strong, and just plain amazing, for just putting up with any of us men.

          • yyyaz

            I, too, was only nine when a 63-year-old coach turned me into a walking vat of self-loathing that I still have to deal with more than 50 years later. I wish I could offer you more than just letting you know you’re not alone.

    • greyXstar

      Between the stories I’ve been told personally and #MeToo, it’s just about every woman I’ve known. We’ve failed as a society.

      • natoslug

        It’s been a feature of society. We only fail if we do not do something about this feature.

        • Lascauxcaveman

          And the first step is agree that this sort of thing is just plain wrong.

          Second and third steps: teach our sons that it is wrong, and teach our daughters to speak out and otherwise defend themselves.

      • Oxidation Suspenders

        My completely unscientific study of friends and relatives supports your hypothesis.

    • P’jama Pahnts

      Don’t worry. Roughly half of the voting public will make sure we don’t make any progress on this extremely rare “issue”

  • Joe Beese

    Probably already mentioned: Louis C.K.’s distributor has dropped his movie.

  • jesterpunk

    Aly Rasiman is pretty angry and she is right.

    http://www.cnn.com/2017/11/10/us/aly-raisman-abuse-usa-gymnastics/index.html

    “Why are we looking at why didn’t the girls speak up?” Raisman said in a short clip released by 60 Minutes. “Why not look at what about the culture? What did USA Gymnastics do, and Larry Nassar do, to manipulate these girls so much that they are so afraid to speak up?”

    “You’re angry,” reporter Jon Lapook said.

    “I am angry. I’m really upset because it’s been — I care a lot, you know, when I see these young girls that come up to me, and they ask for pictures or autographs, whatever it is, I just — I can’t — every time I look at them, every time I see them smiling, I just think — I just want to create change so that they never, ever have to go through this.”

    It really is a cultural issue where this is seen as ok and we really need to do something about that.

    • Dept. of Space Tacos

      you’re angry – what a condescending, dismissive fucking thing to say.

      They’re angry at being victimized, regularly.

      Meanwhile a good 1/4 of hte country is unjustifiably angry at athletes kneeling during our national anthem (a war ballad).

      • jesterpunk

        She isnt being dismissive with it. She was one of the gymnasts who was assaulted by the team doctor and she is saying she is angry that the culture in the sport (and everywhere) allowed it to happen and dismissed anyone who said something and made them feel like its their fault. Look at the Roy Moore threads where republicans are blaming the 14 year old for more proof on how that goes on.

        • Dept. of Space Tacos

          my bad – I’m not talking about her AT ALL. I’m talking about that reporter that counters her statement with “you’re angry “.

          • jesterpunk

            Ahh yeah, she handled that really well. It also doesnt cover the whole interview its just based off a short clip of the 60 minutes interview. So they may have (badly) edited it to get views.

          • Persistent Demme

            Indeed.
            What a great response she had to his idiot statement.

          • Lascauxcaveman

            That’s a standard interviewing technique. Sensing the direction the interviewee wants to go and giving them little push. It’s not delicate, especially when such a difficult and personal story is being related, but that’s journamalism, I guess.

            The optics certainly would be better if the reporter doing the interview was female.

          • Dept. of Space Tacos

            I will concede it’s POSSIBLE. The tone of voice, obviously not present in the transcript, could have made it different.

          • MissNomer

            Maaaaaybe, if you want to be extremely charitable, but I doubt it. It’s not an interviewing technique I ever learned in J school. In my experience it’s a classic silencing tactic. Calling a woman angry or emotional diminishes her voice and her argument, denies the validity of the legitimate emotional upset caused by the incident, blames the victim for being hurt by sexist behavior, and labels them as irrational.

          • Lascauxcaveman

            I could be wrong, and I must admit I never learned it in J school either (back in the 80’s). But I see it on Every. Single. Episode. of 60 Minutes I watch, which is four or five times a year.

            I would have to see the clip to get the gist.

    • Vincent Ricola

      Stay angry ladies. Stay very very angry.

    • aureolaborealis

      My ex-wife’s mom used to take her to a chiropractor when she was a kid. One of the adjustments he used to do to her involved putting his fingers up her ass “to correct misalignments in her tailbone.” I don’t think she had ever thought about how weird it was until she told me about it, and my jaw hit the floor. Her mom signed off on it and was in the room while it happened, but some of the details of the gymnastics cases sounded very similar.

  • J. M. Tusks, Esq.

    I never got into Louis C.K.’s comedy. It just seemed like the viewpoint of a sad, angry, entitled man said in the cadence of jokes. So, spot on, I guess.

    • Dept. of Space Tacos

      Thank you. I have never understood why people thought he was so funny. I tried to watch his show, couldn’t get into it.

      I think he had one special where he started with like 10 minutes on abortion. I was out 5 minutes into it.

      • laughingnome

        Ditto. A few weeks ago I was telling my wife I never got his humor at all. Too dark and disgusting.

        • J. M. Tusks, Esq.

          The only bit of his I remember is when he mimed his wife reluctantly giving him a handjob.

      • J. M. Tusks, Esq.

        Just listening to him talk made me, a straight man, uncomfortable. I should have known he always had it in him.

    • P’jama Pahnts

      I’ll admit I liked his stand up. I couldn’t make it through one episode of the Netflix show though. I was disappointed to hear this about him.

    • natoslug

      I thought I’d watched him in something before, but it turned out that Matt Walsh plays Mike McLintock. I spent the last 4(?) years thinking that was Louis C.K.. Apparently it is I who is A Idiot.

    • wide_stance_hubby

      We were discussing Spacey in a similar way. There’s always been something very disturbed in him.

      • J. M. Tusks, Esq.

        Spacey was more of a shock to me.

        • Lance Thrustwell

          Spacey didn’t shock me that much. I saw an interview he did years ago – with Leno, I think, where he was just, like, the weirdest guy ever. No shit. That plus his stupid caginess all these years about being gay… I dunno. Just always seemed a little off to me.

          Hell of an actor though.

          • J. M. Tusks, Esq.

            Truth, I never really gave him any scrutiny as person, just as an actor.

          • aureolaborealis

            There have been internet rumors of him being spotted in SE Asian countries with what appeared to be harems of little boys.

      • P’jama Pahnts
    • chortlingdingo

      I used to see a clip of his standup occasionally where he was talking about how statistically dangerous it is for women to date whereas men’s greatest life risk is heart disease, and now I’m disappointed because it turns out that he contributes to the danger.

  • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

    Good news folks. Chris Cillizza says Roy Moore will win. He’s usually wrong so consider this the kiss of death.

  • maman

    Just fuck yes.

  • Bill D. Burger

    Excuse me Republicans…..could you just take a seat over there?
    America has a few questions for you! Greaaaaaaat’!

    https://media.giphy.com/media/ba5g4ID9g5cT6/giphy.gif

    • Lance Thrustwell

      Creepy Republican Man!!! I love it.

  • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

    So many disgusting people.

    So few {{{redacted}}}votes!

  • J. M. Tusks, Esq.

    And then the murders began.

  • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

    And another thing: What the actual fuck is it about these perverts so badly wanting to show off their pee pees to people who would rather not see them?

    These pervs should have their junk {{{redacted}}}. And not with votes.

  • Ms.MLG on Maui

    I have seen quite a few dicks I never wanted to see. When I was 16 or 17, I went on a school band trip. We stopped to eat at a fast food restaurant, and the man sitting next to my table full of female high school juniors pulled his dick out of his running shorts, and made sure we all got a good look at it. Just sat there, as casual as you please, with his dick out in Wendy’s, in broad daylight. We moved tables. I told our teacher, and we ended up basically fleeing that restaurant. The teacher was so embarrassed and shocked, he just wanted us out of there as soon as possible. Even as such a young person, I knew that man had done it before, and would do it again. As a woman of almost 40 now, I like to think if that happened to me now, I would stand up, point, and in my loudest voice yell, HOLY SHIT, Y’ALL! THAT LOOKS LIKE A DICK, ONLY SMALLER!

    • Bub, the cynical zombie

      I think you would, and I’d laugh my ass off if I happened to be there to see it.

      • Ms.MLG on Maui

        These days we also have cameras with us at all times. I would be yelling at him, and taking pictures of him as fast as I could. I would be the Goddamn Annie Lebovitz of perverted flashers.

        • Bub, the cynical zombie

          A “pervarazzo?”

    • Rebel Scum with permit

      And they’ve found that kind of behavior escalates. The Peeping Tom or the Guy With the Trenchcoat can escalate to rape. They’re starter acts of agression that are no longer considered repulsive but harmless.

      • Lance Thrustwell

        Yep, that makes sense. Everything starts somewhere.

      • YoBunnyBunny

        Yeah, I think the smart people who study sexual predators call this boundary pushing… Doing something, see what you can get away with, push it further, wash, rinse, repeat…

        Unfortunately, pervs like Mr. Wendy’s up there take the fact that victims either don’t report or the people the victims report to are not likely to do anything to him as permission to keep upping the ante.

        • Rebel Scum with permit

          It could just be a garden variety Neanderthal asshole (I’m starting to believe Neanderthals were better behaved actually) who thought he could get away with it as a one time thing. I can understand high school girls and their chaperone being too shocked and upset to report and the guy might’ve been in the wind in any case.
          Sometimes I hate people. My cats are furry little sociopaths but I expect that.

    • SeekingCovfefeBarbie

      When I was a college student living off-campus, I answered the door one evening to see a guy in a ski mask with his pants down, wanking off. I laughed out loud, shut the door, called the police. Turned out there had been several reports about him.

    • OneYieldRegular

      Or like the woman on the subway in New York [I can’t remember who this was] who turned on a guy who’d molested her, hoisted his wrist up into the air and yelled, “Anybody lose a hand? I just found this one on my ass!”

      • Ms.MLG on Maui

        HAHA!!!

    • Hiss

      You didn’t have any hot coffee to hand? Pity.

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸
    • jesterpunk

      Are they going to release a statement about it or just quietly pull out of the fundraising agreement?

      • Martini Ambassador 🍸

        I’m guessing the latter, given that they still seem conflicted about whether they publicly support a child predator.

    • armed_bears
  • maman

    strangely, Louie CK just copped to his behavior.

    • Bitter Scribe

      That’s too back about LCK. I kind of liked him.

    • commatoes

      I wonder if its contrition or just getting out in front of it.

    • Phried Ω

      and strangely he doesn’t seem funny anymore.

  • calliecallie

    There are probably a lot of famous men out there who should be consulting with their lawyers/agents/PR people to figure out how to get ahead of the inevitable stories.

  • Bill D. Burger
  • armed_bears

    Again, I am not trying to program the editorial at Wonk, but who wouldn’t want to hear a convo about this between the editor, $5F, RP, killermartinis, et al?

    WonkTV.

    • wide_stance_hubby

      We, the People, demand a more transparent Secret Chat Cave!1!

      • NotALiar

        Public sekret chat cave

        • Bitter Scribe

          Podcast. Record it and make a podcast out of it.

      • Phried Ω

        But suppose they are chatting about you.

  • TimResistit

    The short life of Corey Haim haunts me.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      So what’s that story- Charlie Sheen molested him?

      • TimResistit

        That’s the short version, he was raped by Charlie (and others in Hollywood) and the extra-sickening part is he fell in love with Sheen, and Sheen totally ignored him afterwards.

        • Zippy W Pinhead

          Wow, and ewwww

  • 52camellias

    Or, as I like to think now that I’ve seen that Youtube clip from Tombstone:

    RUN, YOU CURS! RUUUNNN!!!!

  • TimResistit

    Has it ever ever worked where a man whips out his doodads and a woman swoons and jumps up into his arms like she finally found her prince? What man actually thinks this is going to work. Same with dic pics….

    • Stulexington

      That’s not the goal.

      • Shanzgood

        Exactly.

      • NotALiar

        What is the goal? I’ve never done this so it’s a foreign concept to me. Is it a power thing or a way to embarrass someone?

        • P’jama Pahnts

          Us men seem to have a complicated relationship with our own dicks. I can’t explain it. I’ve certainly never considered pulling it out of my Pahnts uninvited, though.

        • Stulexington

          From what I understand power, domination, a view that women are lesser and must be treated as breeding stock. It is a foreign concept to me as well but I have studied it somewhat. It’s definitely not about dating, it’s about treating women like they are lesser beings to be used as men see fit.

        • Good_Gawd_Yall

          I think it’s both. When I was younger I would sometimes be catcalled or whistled at from a passing vehicle. It never seemed like the guys were serious. It didn’t really bother me then, because it just seemed like a thing “guys do.” And I still think it’s basically harmless. What’s NOT harmless is men in positions of power using sex to assert their status. If I’m in a subservient position to someone, and he chooses to abuse that relationship by forcing me to talk about or view something I don’t want to take part in, he’s reassuring himself that he’s powerful at the expense of my shared humanity.

          • Courser_Resistance

            Same here. I’ve only found what I term ‘casual’ catcalling/whistling to be icky when it is really focused and sustained. The odd whistle or hoot is no big (and a little ego boost).

          • NotALiar

            I understand now. Thanks.

        • Shanzgood

          Fear. Shock. Intimidation. Just like any sort of harassment.

          • NotALiar

            Got it. Thanks.

    • jesterpunk

      It only works in porn and bad romantic movies or twilight.

      • MynameisBlarney

        You’re right.
        Twilight is so bad it really is in a category all its own.

    • Gee, Your Hair Smells Horrific

      “Hey look, a smoking bitch. Maybe if I honk the car horn I’ll get a date.”

      • george lastrapes

        “And if I don’t, it’s cuz she’s frigid/a tease/a dyke!”

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        oh jeez, i just had a flashback to this…

        https://youtu.be/lF4ny7KivzA?t=30

    • Ms.MLG on Maui

      They don’t think it will work. Same with catcalling. These behaviors aren’t about sleeping with women. These behaviors are about trying to have power and control over women. They’re about frightening and intimidating women. Reminding us we are not safe.

      • Put On Your War Paint!

        Exactly. The men that were interested in having sex with me approached with charm and asked for what they wanted.

        These Others are simply abusive and seeking to exert control.

        • Ms.MLG on Maui

          And they hate women. Oh God, they hate women so very much, because they are too weak to blame themselves for their own shortcomings, and too weak to deal with their own issues. Their weakness disgusts me.

          • Put On Your War Paint!

            Agreed and seconded. Cowardice and weakness are shameful and unseemly in any adult, and so very many American men display both behaviors every day.

      • george lastrapes

        I think it’s maybe more, certainly also, about signalling to other men that the pincher/wolfwhistler/selfrubber is a proper sexaddict and proud of his appetite. I think that topless bars are particularly about that.

      • Blanche Beecham

        Exactly. I received my first unrequested, spontaneous penis message from a date that had excused himself to the restroom. I was shocked and oddly challenged. Found the biggest, blackest rooster image I could find and sent that as a response from the safety of my car. Ciao weirdos.

        • Lance Thrustwell

          Ha! Cockfighting!

          • Blanche Beecham

            Mine was bigger. He did not see the humor in the response.

        • Bitter Scribe

          Wait a minute…your date went to the restroom and sent you a dick pic from there?

          Hoo boy. I thought I’d heard of some weird dating behavior but…

          • Blanche Beecham

            Yes. Please don’t be jealous. lol

        • MynameisBlarney

          I actually went on a date not that long ago, and she asked me for dic pics and I declined.
          I’m not very sexually inhibited, but something about sending digital images of my junk just seems weird.

          • Blanche Beecham

            Good instincts lead to good decisions.

        • commatoes
          • Daniel

            Indeed. That is quite the most well-hung Borrower I’ve seen.

      • MynameisBlarney

        What about muttering “dayum” under ones breath when an attractive person catches the eye?

        • Ms.MLG on Maui

          I think you already know that’s perfectly fine.

          • MynameisBlarney

            I didn’t actually.
            Because I did that the other day and then kinda wondered if that was ok.

          • Ms.MLG on Maui

            Being attracted to someone, and thinking they’re hot is perfectly acceptable. Having your private reaction to that is perfectly acceptable.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      only on Cinemax

    • Lance Thrustwell

      Yeah, no, it’s never that. It’s either a demonstration of power and a desire to shock and disturb, or it’s a total, helpless, kinky compulsion. It’s never a romantic strategy.

  • Gee, Your Hair Smells Horrific

    I am much more interested in women taking the active part in this. Our country will be much better off with a more diverse Congress. I have high hopes that 2018 brings more pissed off female legislators to Congress and state houses than ever before.

    • commatoes

      Watch Maddow’s recap of the VA elections this week. It is still not enough but an optimistic start.

  • ltmcdies

    Louie CK reponses….I’ll give him some credit for being written than Kevin Spacey

    https://twitter.com/ditzkoff/status/929050106246115329

    • J. M. Tusks, Esq.

      Nah. “I’m sorry I got caught.”

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      it’s a start- can’t fix what you won’t even admit is broken. But it’s still a long fucking way from being fixed

  • Lulu Mac
    • Lance Thrustwell

      …And now I just hope that Bell doesn’t get accused by anybody!

    • theCryptofishist

      That “snitchin” thing is, I suspect, a major stumbling block.

  • Put On Your War Paint!

    Brava Robyn.

    Sex Abusers, we come for you!

  • MynameisBlarney

    Completely OT, but…
    I’m getting REALLY fucking tired of being sick. And Nyquil/Dayquil….and chicken soup.

    • Put On Your War Paint!

      ~hugs~

      • MynameisBlarney

        Goin on 2 weeks of shit shit now.
        I’m ready for it to be over so I can go back to my normal, beer drinkin’ self.

        • Put On Your War Paint!

          I’m sorry Hun, I’ve been there though not recently.

        • DrBigHead

          Maybe that’s your problem. No beer.

          Seriously, though, be well. Rest as much as you can.

    • commatoes

      Jewish penicillin not working?

      Wow, it is normally almost magical in its restorative qualities.

      • MynameisBlarney

        Yes, but only for about 3-4 hours.
        Same goes for the cough syrup.

  • Good_Gawd_Yall

    So, this happened:
    When I was 22 I went to visit an old friend back in my hometown. We were having a cookout and had a fire going, all very nice, lots of beer and laughter, and since her hubby was on the volunteer fire department, lots of volunteer firefighters showed up. Everyone was drinking beer and having a good time. There was a guy there, looked young, but was drinking along with everyone else, and hitting on me, and I was flirting back, and it looked like things might get interesting. Then my friend caught me alone for a second and said, “He’s 16.”
    I was like, “He’s a volunteer firefighter! How can he be 16?”
    She said, “He’s not allowed to go out on runs. He washes the trucks and hangs around the fire station. Believe me, he’s 16.”
    That was the end of that. I wasn’t interested in being the older woman who introduced a 16-year-old male to sex. And I was only 6 years older than him. I shudder to think if the situation had been reversed, what would have happened. Young people are horny and they make poor decisions. But if you’re the adult in the situation, you don’t take advantage of that loophole. And you sure as FUCK don’t force yourself on them. Why is this so gawd-dammed hard for people to understand??

    • Jennaratrix

      Oh boy. This happened to me in college, but my friends didn’t tell me until the next day (nothing happened, just flirting, but still). I was 19, he was 16, he was at UMass visiting some of his friends from home. I was mortified, and so so so angry at my friends. Three years isn’t a big difference – hell, I’m three and a half years older than my husband. But the difference between 47 and 43/44 is miles from the difference between 19 and 16. Not to mention legality. And like you said, I had no interest in exploiting the difference in our ages; it made me feel so dirty. I never really got past that feeling, and it’s nearly 30 years later.

      • Good_Gawd_Yall

        That’s the thing – a woman who entices/sleeps with/shows interest in/flirts with a young man of any age up to 18 is made to feel guilty, while men get songs written about them (“Thank Heavens for Little Girls” springs to mind) and often are considered especially “lucky” or otherwise subtly encouraged.
        So that is why you and I remember uncomfortably our encounters, innocent as they were, with younger men, while men like IQ45 admit to grossly abusive behavior and get elected to high office.

        • Ms.MLG on Maui

          THIS! A regular male commenter here, who has lots of people fooled into thinking he’s the world’s greatest male feminist (disagree with him once, and he will disabuse you of that notion with a quickness), recently posted a meme about grown women cheering for, and swooning over, a 17-year-old actor from the Twilight movie. The meme says something about men getting arrested if they acted that way about a female minor. Before I even finished reading the words, I could name at least a dozen well-known instances of that not being true at all. Remember when Hugh Hefner and all the men who bought the Playboy featuring 10-years-old Brooke Shields were shamed and arrested? Yeah. Me neither.

    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      The adult in the room is, apparently, not an elephant…

  • Miki

    OK so it’s the worst idea in the world to post this, but it’s my week of acting on very bad ideas.

    I’ve never read anything on this site I disagreed with. I love Wonkette, I love Evan, and I’m always looking forward to reading stuff by Robyn, with that special zest and turn of phrase that she has.

    Like many, I have never touched, approached, etc. a woman in an unwanted fashion in my life. Being socially awkward helped, probably. And I intensely dislike people who allow themselves to do that, in any situation. But something stops me short of heartily joining the condemnation chorus this time.

    It is the legal and moral concept of time limits and punishment fitting the crimes. First, pretty much any crime, short of genocide, has an expiry statute. You can’t be arraigned for a robbery 10 years after the fact (primarily because you couldn’t get a fair trial), right? Not a lawyer, but I believe even murder has its time limits. Additionally, all of them have maximum penalties written down in the law.

    Now what we are proposing to do here is conflate any sort of unwanted attention under one heading, project it without limit into the past (1975 was mentioned already) and mete out unlimited penalties, while smearing somewhat everyone who shared a gender with the perps. I think there should be another way to go. I support reforms to criminal code, longer terms, easier trials, etc. But unlimited penalties and destruction of legacy, career, essentially the ability to support yourself…? THat reminds me of the discussion of the stocks in “The Prince and the Pauper”, which amounted to death penalty for misdemeanour. I understand the rage. Part of me feels it. But I have another part. Oh and please don’t ban me I love reading your site!!!

    • Lance Thrustwell

      Hey, I kinda hear what you’re saying. But if you’re talking about Moore, remember, no one’s talking about putting him in jail. They’re talking about his fitness for office, and his stunning hypocrisy in upholding ‘family’ values.

      • MynameisBlarney

        Agreed.
        Moore’s a fucking hypocrite, fuck ’em.

      • Miki

        Oh no, not talking about Moore. 1975 was Hoffman I believe. Moore should be isolated from society by any means necessary on general principles.

        • theCryptofishist

          Oh god, there’s nothing cute about talking about sex in order to embarrass a high schooler. Does anyone else remember his first Oscar? When he said that the statuette had not genitalia? It probably got a big, Hollywood laugh, but I felt awkward, as a teen does.

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      NO. If a man has grown famous on the back of behaviors that are both ILLEGAL and UNWANTED he has NO right to being respected or to fame or fortune. Let him go to work at a gas station. And seriously, you think Kevin Spacey or Louis CK don’t have enough money to support themselves for the rest of their lives? Get real.
      Oh, and “unwanted attention”? Fuck that shit. It’s assault. So fucking what if it happened in 1975? What’s that got to do with it? You’re basically saying, Hey, if a guy got away with a crime for 42 years it’s not a crime anymore.
      And no – there is no statute of limitations on murder.

      • Put On Your War Paint!

        This.

      • NastyBossetti

        Not to mention that many of these people’s actions have negatively affected the careers and earning power of their victims, so why should we give a fuck about their legacies and ability to support themselves?

        • Miki

          I really like this point. It does make sense for the legal action against assaulters that takes away their livelihood to be motivated by the damage to the careers and earning power of victims. It would also ruin Weinsteins who made a sport of it.

      • Miki

        Thanks – that’s exactly the area I wanted to discuss.

        “Famous on the back of the behaviors…” – you don’t mean that? If it may apply in the case of Weinstein, it certainly doesn’t apply to Spacey. He became famous on the strength of his artistic talent, and then that fame contributed to him a) having access to many admiring people; and b) having an opportunity to abuse them, which he did not pass by. And yes, I seriously believe that the ability of famous people to support themselves rest on continued existence and work of their image, which – if suddenly destroyed – drags down their livelihood through debts/cancellations/claims etc.

        Finally I am not saying that if someone got away with a crime for 42 years it’s nor a crime, the law does. Are you saying it shouldn’t? Will wait for a lawyer to chime in on the limitations. Thanks!

        • Good_Gawd_Yall

          “And yes, I seriously believe that the ability of famous people to support themselves rest on continued existence and work of their image, which – if suddenly destroyed – drags down their livelihood through debts/cancellations/claims etc.”
          THIS IS WHAT SHOULD HAPPEN TO THEM, YOU NUMPTY.

          • Miki

            OK I notice goal posts shifting. In your last comment, you ridiculed this notion; now you’re saying you agree with it and that’s how it should be. Why? Have you been penniless in America? How did that feel? And what is a Numpty? :)

    • Put On Your War Paint!

      Fuck this noise. Men can keep their hands to themselves from fucking now til Doomsday, and I do not give a flying fuck about your feelings.

    • SeekingCovfefeBarbie

      Are you suggesting that if the legal statute of limitations for a crime has passed, that the victim should remain silent?

      • Miki

        Of course, no, absolutely not! We should discuss this, and we should be angry about it – but we shouldn’t limit ourselves to that, or it will be forgotten when the media attention shifts. Some sort of solid paper/legal change has to happen to make this stop, not just outrage that selectively destroys 0.01% of the problem.

        • ziggywiggy

          You should really just shut up now…. “not just outrage that selectively destroys 0.01% of the problem.”

          • Miki

            OK I will. But what’s my mistake, do you think we’re hitting closer to 0.1% of famous assaulters with this?

    • ziggywiggy

      You’re right it was a bad decision to post that.

      • Skeptical_thinker

        Probably why it’s from a new account.

        • Miki

          Nope, it’s from a new account because I’ve been lurking for 2 years and never been bothered to constructively disagree.

    • the_steamer

      Men have plenty of accountence to give. You and I know that the column is for naught, that all the CEOs, Senators, Governors, sports stars, gym teachers, doctors, lawyers etc. that deserve to be jobless and even penniless aren’t going to admit their crimes. But like rich people paying more taxes or white people acknowledging their privilege, men have tons of room to give on the sexual predation front. An aggressive woman is slandered, an aggressive man is applauded. It’s a real problem.

      • Miki

        Yes, they won’t. Very good point. And it’s partly my point as well – the column is good, the feelings are good, but what is to be done? People aren’t suddenly going to give themselves up, especially if we point out that they will deserve to be jobless and penniless after.

        • the_steamer

          The great thing is people recognizing that they actually do deserve to be jobless and penniless. Over the years I’ve been hit on by subordinates and even following up on that would be inappropriate. People in authority must be held to account for their crimes, it’s proof they don’t deserve their position.

    • Claire

      You know, the super simple solution here is “Don’t fucking be the kind of person who sexually assaults people and you won’t have to worry about it.”

      That and not conflating “wrong, immoral, and worthy of condemnation” with “punishable by law.” Slavery used to be legal too. If your measure of what is or isn’t wrong is “could you get convicted for it,” then you are a big, big part of the problem.

      • Miki

        Claire, your super simple solution does not work for me. I am not that kind of person, but it affects me – just like it affects you – because we live in a society where people do these things.

        The reason I mention law is that I know how things work in practice. Unless and until our outrage is channelled into codified legal form, I don’t think things will get better. That’s why having a non-working legislature is problematic, primarily. Thanks for your comment!

        • Claire

          No. My point is that worrying about the statute of limitations and its relation to ruining the poor offender’s life is completely not relevant to this discussion right now. The problem isn’t the statute of limitations, it’s that too many men can’t keep their hands to themselves and until now we haven’t been able to speak up about it, and this kind of golf-lawyering is exactly what keeps so many of us silent.

          • Miki

            Ok, point well taken. I do agree it’s sidetracking the discussion, and is probably not helping its point. I just found something kept me ambivalent about it, but maybe I need to dig deeper inside myself and work with what it is. I’ve said enough for one day, but thanks for making your feelings clear.

          • Miki

            Just wanted to let you know that I did some more reading on the issue and I see now that I was not sufficiently informed when I was posting the original message. That’s likely why it contained a lot of crap and was offensive. Lesson learned. My apologies. These people do have to lose their jobs and livelihood or nothing will ever change.

  • William
    • P’jama Pahnts

      That’s the best thing I’ve seen in a long time. Stolen.

  • Bitter Scribe

    This is making me think of that episode in Seinfeld where some guy unzips at the end of a first date with Elaine.

    Elaine: “He took it out.”
    Jerry: “It?”
    Elaine: “It.”
    Jerry: “Out?”
    Elaine: “Out.”

    IIRC Jerry goes on to speculate lamely that it might have been some sort of accident, which Elaine denies with a grim smile. Later, George says something to the effect of, “Geez, I spend so much time trying to get their clothes off…”

    The point, I guess, is that Elaine was so blase about this because it’s probably just a concentrated version of what a lot of women have to go through.

  • Shieldmaidenwannabe

    When I was 9 years old, I was molested by my teacher. I spoke up and nothing changed. When I was 15, I was stalked and threatened with murder. Police were involved and nothing changed. When I was 17, I was nearly raped and saved because a friend heard me yell. I reported it to the university and nothing happened. There is more, but I have to stop. No one is responsible for the sexual urges of someone else. No one asks to be molested, assaulted, or raped. Some predators get off more if they know their victim hates it, but isn’t able to stop him/her. A First Aid Kit song, “You are the Problem Here”, comes to mind. Needless to say, the past year has stirred up rage in me and too many others. Maybe something will finally change.

    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      WOMEN OF ALABAMA: STAND UP! and, afterwards: WOMEN OF AMERICA: STAND UP!…

    • Daniel

      I am sorry that this happened to you. To anyone else reading who shares a similar history, I am sorry that happened to you too- and I am even more sorry it’s inevitable there are people that have similar stories just amongst the regular commenters on a mommyblog.

      I know it’s nothing you don’t know, you say as much in your comment, but hopefully hearing it from another source will help it to resonate- to anyone who these things have happened to
      it wasn’t your fault.

      The only person who should have behaved differently is the only person that could have prevented it- the person who did that to you.

      • Shieldmaidenwannabe

        Thank you. Most of me knows this, but there’s a tiny part that doesn’t quite believe it.

        • Good_Gawd_Yall

          It’s because we live in a toxic society that asks questions like “how were you dressed” and “did you give him anything that could have been encouragement” instead of standing up and shouting “WE’RE GETTING THAT BASTARD RIGHT THIS MINUTE AND CUTTING HIS DICK OFF!!” (Not that I’m advocating cutting dicks off, but seriously – it’s because of the victim-blaming that we blame ourselves.) I’m so sorry you had to endure all this.

        • Morrigan in Oregon

          Then you can validate the feelings of women that voted for trump. At least you WANNABE victorious, and they have accepted it as a given.

    • commatoes

      I have friends with similar pasts. I offered to them as I now offer to you. If you wish to dispense some justice, I will bring the pneumatic stapler and the hot glue gun.

      I am only half joking.

      • MynameisBlarney

        I’ll assist.
        Both of my sisters were raped.
        I have zero fucking tolerance for this kind of shit.

        • atlantaloves

          Ditto, I’ll help ya.

    • Courser_Resistance

      I posted a resource for survivors of sexual abuse down below somewhere.

  • Michael Smith

    Sexual harassment and assault have been used as a tool of intimidation across many fields to keep women from lucrative positions that men thought they could keep for themselves.

    To that end, this opening of the floodgates is an important next step in a struggle that’s been going on for generations. We might have passed laws decades ago prohibiting hiring discrimination based on sex, but those laws didn’t stop the men who already had power from using it to practice discrimination in an unofficial way – essentially letting women know “you may have a legal right to this job, but you don’t belong here, and if you forget that I’ll gladly remind you.”

    And the respect that most people instinctively had for old powerful men intimidated women into silence, and, if they did speak up, made it much more difficult for them to find a receptive audience. Now, finally, that seems to be changing. I hope it lasts.

    • Stulexington

      If there’s one thing we can thank the GOP for, it’s the erosion of automatic respect granted to old white men.

      • Courser_Resistance

        I’ve developed quite an aversion to them in the last year. WAAAY to many of them seem to think Shitweasel’s election means they can be giant assholes about *everything*. It’s gotten so I avoid older white men unless they’re one of my crew.

    • grindstone

      And thus the phrase, “You have to go along to get along”, meaning you have to fit in with the boys club and let boys be boys if you ever hope for even the slightest advancement. I’m the walking billboard for that….my industry runs about 1/6 female, less as you move up the ladder.

  • SeekingCovfefeBarbie

    I’d just like to call out a subset of annoying people who do unwanted touching: the feely-huggy types who think you should let them hug you because THEY believe hugging is a great thing, and then try to shame you by saying there is something wrong with you because you don’t let them. They fit right in with adults who force children to let relatives and friends kiss and hug them, thereby laying the groundwork for predators.

    • NotReallyHere

      Yes, thank you. I don’t know what to call that touchy-feelly hugging thing. It’s technically not assault, but sometimes it feels that way.

      • SeekingCovfefeBarbie

        It’s not respecting boundaries. It’s one thing to offer a hug; quite another to not graciously accept “no” as a response.

        • NotReallyHere

          Yes, but often the hug just comes at you with no warning. The “not respecting boundaries” label is good.

          There was another thread earlier with someone lamenting that no one is allowed to touch anyone at work anymore or something. I would very much prefer it to be that way. I guess that makes me a cold bitch or something?

          • LA Julian

            It’s almost like they have no idea that randomly glomming onto strangers is the sort of thing that gets you a face full of teeth from every other social animal on the planet!

          • Hiss

            And then there’s the neck massagers! If I want a massage I will go get one from a pro. I don’t want one.

    • Put On Your War Paint!

      I *always* ask before I hug someone for the first time.

      • Ms.MLG on Maui

        If we ever meet, I would like a hug!

        • Put On Your War Paint!

          You got it! :)

          • The mass Wonkette group hugging will be insane if we ever all meet

          • Put On Your War Paint!

            It certainly will. It will be Glorious!

    • Vincent Ricola

      “Can I get a hug?” is a phrase that really needs to be retired now. I don’t care how many yogi types go on about the healing power of touch, please don’t force me into touching you under the guise of polite woo.

      • Lance Thrustwell

        ‘Would you like a hug’ is better, I suppose, but it still sort of puts the pressure on the hug-denier. Some awkwardness in human interaction is just always going to exist.

        • Vincent Ricola

          Yes. I agree. There’s a big difference between two friends hugging it out during a bad life time or what have you, I’m talking specifically about the stranger you just met through a friend or person who sees you upset on the subway using a hug as a way of pressing up on another person.

          I don’t think we should outlaw hugs, I think we should outlaw people who force others into hugs for their own creepy reasons.

        • YoBunnyBunny

          No lie, on November 9, 2016, there was a dude standing in Dupont Circle offering hugs. It was very tempting, but I figured I’d hug it out with a not-stranger instead.

      • Hiss

        I loathe being hugged. I always think less of the person who does it, totally without invitation, of course, because I DON’T LIKE IT.

    • DrBigHead

      That is a hard thing to judge. I personally have no problem with a hug now and then, but always try to let the other person initiate it. A couple of weeks ago I performed an exit interview with one of my staff who was leaving the firm after 10 years. Was offered a golden opportunity at another firm. At the end of the interview, we stood up and I shook her hand. She then gave me a big hug. I would never have initiated it, but it was welcome.

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      I’m given to hugging people, mainly because I was raised that way, but I always take it slow, give the other person room to evade, and read their body language carefully. If they seem uncomfortable, I back off, and if they seem okay but then are stiff, I cut it short. I think sometimes in a bad situation we DO need each others’ touch, but it’s not my place to force you to let me hug you.

    • george lastrapes

      Can’t stand coercive huggers, myself. That kind of thing can get mere fractions of an inch from sexual battery.
      Let me be just a little bit contrarian, just for the sake of argument. Does anyone else remember Eddie Murphy, riffing on Anita Hill’s testimony? He said, had it been Denzel Washington rather that Clarence Thomas, things would have been different. He kinda had a point- but whether that point brings much-needed nuance to, or merely confuses, the issue- I don’t know. (I’m still on Ms. Hill’s side.)

    • george lastrapes

      Can’t stand coercive huggers, myself. That kind of thing can get mere fractions of an inch from sexual battery.
      Let me be just a little bit contrarian, just for the sake of argument. Does anyone else remember Eddie Murphy, riffing on Anita Hill’s testimony? He said, had it been Denzel Washington rather that Clarence Thomas, things might have been different. He kinda had a point- but whether that point brings nuance to, or merely confuses, the issue- I don’t know.
      I’m on Ms. Hill’s side, of course

    • YoBunnyBunny

      Actually you raise a VERY IMPORTANT point about forcing children to hug “relatives and friends”. I’ll just leave this here…

      A predator might touch your child in your presence so that he or she thinks that you are comfortable with the touching.
      This act might be as simple as draping an arm over the child’s shoulder
      or asking for a hug to say goodbye. Be aware of your child’s reactions
      to other adult’s touches. Does your child stiffen or seem uncomfortable?
      Also, never force your child to show affection to anyone when they
      aren’t comfortable doing so. This leaves the impression that forced
      physical contact is okay.

      https://educateempowerkids.org/8-ways-predator-might-groom-child/

    • Claire

      Oh my god yes. I don’t believe for a minute that it is that goddamn hard to just keep your hands off other people. I don’t care if they think being a hugger automatically makes them the nicest people in the world, you’re not a goddamn nice person if you make people touch you when they don’t want to.

    • sillyclucker

      Thank you for saying this ! I know some perfectly nice people who do this. I hate it because I’m not a touchy feely kind of person. I just stiffen up and feel incredibly uncomfortable. I don’t want to hurt their feelings. They usually figure out I don’t like it right away, but sometimes I have to say something.

  • Bub, the cynical zombie

    This makes me feel sick, sad…and yet somehow hopeful. Because perhaps we are finally going to see real pushback against these predators, thanks to women like Robyn, Ellen, Rose and so many more:

    https://www.facebook.com/EllenPage/posts/10155212835577449

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸

    You know what else needs to change about this dynamic? Women need to be believed when they say they have been assaulted. Especially when 30 people verify their accounts.
    https://twitter.com/espiers/status/928707488299536385?s=17

    • Lance Thrustwell

      Yes! If only people would think for one freakin’ second about what little reason anyone would have to make something like this up…

      • Good_Gawd_Yall

        IKR? Since the standard response now is for the accuser to receive death threats, be doxxed, etc, it seems there would be little, if any, motivation other than speaking truth for anyone to make an accusation.

    • ExecutorElassus

      You know what the most baffling thing about the Roy Moore shit is? That Mitt Fucking Romney comes out as a man of basic decency and moral courage. He very neatly dismantles that whole bullshit argument with a tweet.
      And I fucking hate that Richie-Rich silver-spoon-up-his-ass oligarchic asshole.

      • Claire

        The man LITERALLY HAS A CAR ELEVATOR and he gets it. I mean.

  • btwbfdimho
    • Daniel

      Speaking as a British man can I just say:
      1) it was a very different time.
      2) chairs were very different then.
      3) you don’t know she didn’t ask him if she could carry him.
      4) have you considered that maybe she is kidnapping him?
      5) carrying a man in a chair isn’t a crime.
      6) even if it is a crime if she’s going to go out with a chair on her back what does she expect to happen?
      7) History Lovers Club is a notoriously anti-imperialist organisation and it’s not surprising they’d run with the worst possible interpretation of this. If anyone’s been harmed here it’s that man.
      8) Maybe he’s been rendered immobile by a terrible infection of the mustache?
      9) That might be a very heavy pith helmet.
      10) Maybe he’s allergic to floor.

  • ziggywiggy

    So Louis C.K. just admitted to what he did.

    • YoBunnyBunny

      https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/c7a114338d0948910cb694af3593b6575ffc38978cdc8a35a97b0e2f7c981331.gif

      I don’t know why, but I am feeling some kind of way about C.K. I’ve
      always been ambivalent about him. Kinda funny sometimes, but he channels
      a total douche. I guess the fucking brazenness of it all…

      • ziggywiggy

        “The complete statement from Louis C.K. appears below:

        I want to address the stories told to The New York Times by five women named Abby, Rebecca, Dana, Julia who felt able to name themselves and one who did not.

        These stories are true. At the time, I said to myself that what I did was O.K. because I never showed a woman my dick without asking first, which is also true. But what I learned later in life, too late, is that when you have power over another person, asking them to look at your dick isn’t a question. It’s a predicament for them. The power I had over these women is that they admired me. And I wielded that power irresponsibly. I have been remorseful of my actions. And I’ve tried to learn from them. And run from them. Now I’m aware of the extent of the impact of my actions. I learned yesterday the extent to which I left these women who admired me feeling badly about themselves and cautious around other men who would never have put them in that position. I also took advantage of the fact that I was widely admired in my and their community, which disabled them from sharing their story and brought hardship to them when they tried because people who look up to me didn’t want to hear it. I didn’t think that I was doing any of that because my position allowed me not to think about it. There is nothing about this that I forgive myself for. And I have to reconcile it with who I am. Which is nothing compared to the task I left them with. I wish I had reacted to their admiration of me by being a good example to them as a man and given them some guidance as a comedian, including because I admired their work.

        The hardest regret to live with is what you’ve done to hurt someone else. And I can hardly wrap my head around the scope of hurt I brought on them. I’d be remiss to exclude the hurt that I’ve brought on people who I work with and have worked with who’s professional and personal lives have been impacted by all of this, including projects currently in production: the cast and crew of Better Things, Baskets, The Cops, One Mississippi, and I Love You, Daddy. I deeply regret that this has brought negative attention to my manager Dave Becky who only tried to mediate a situation that I caused. I’ve brought anguish and hardship to the people at FX who have given me so much The Orchard who took a chance on my movie. and every other entity that has bet on me through the years. I’ve brought pain to my family, my friends, my children and their mother. I have spent my long and lucky career talking and saying anything I want. I will now step back and take a long time to listen. Thank you for reading.” https://www.nytimes.com/2017/11/10/arts/television/louis-ck-statement.html

        • WomanInThePersistence

          Well, at least he didn’t say “I’m sorry if I offended anybody.” What an asshole.

        • Persistent Demme

          So sad.

        • Good_Gawd_Yall

          How do you NOT understand any of this? It’s practically intuitive from where I sit. Power + dick-having + dick-showing = intimidation. Power + dick-having + NOT dick-showing = normal relationship.

          • ziggywiggy

            I know you are saying how does HE not understand it(not me). I’m glad he admitted it because that seems to be the only way that survivors are believed. It’s fucked up that it’s still all dependent on what the predator says, that they are always given the benefit of the doubt and it doesn’t seem to be the same for those who have been victimized.

          • LA Julian

            He understood perfectly well, or he wouldn’t have THREATENED THEIR CAREERS and lied about it for years. This is Performative Repentance 101, attempting to escape the karma of having his own career go down in flames.

      • Daniel

        I’m going to applaud your choice of that particular gif for this.

      • LA Julian

        Read the summary of his now-canceled new movie, if you want ‘brazen’ …

    • disqus_lWwzrwNaw6

      Women in the business have been saying this about him for years. They’re not actually all that elated that people are finally getting around to acknowledging their truth. It’s been way too long.

  • Debra Dassow

    53% of white women voted for Trump. That says a lot about how white women value themselves.

    • laughingnome

      THis is why I’m hoping that something has changed since the Weinstein revelations – and now this in Alabama. I hope women in Alabama – who may not feel able to publicly say anything – take advantage of the secret ballot to send the bastard(s) a message.

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        I wouldn’t count on it- they should have done that in 2016 but didn’t. The programming is deep and pernicious.

      • Courser_Resistance

        They hate blahs and browns far more. It could be their own daughter and she’d tell her to suck it up.

    • renegade500

      53% of white women who voted voted for Trump. Not quite the same thing as saying 53% of women voted for him. I have to wonder how many either didn’t vote, or found themselves subject to voter suppression?

      • theCryptofishist

        Iirc, it doesn’t include white women who didn’t vote.

    • commatoes

      The woman that was molested by Moore at age 14, voted for Trump.

    • IdRatherBeDancing

      Remember the lovely lady with the homemade tee from a Trump rally — the Tee said: “Trump Can Grab My” with an arrow pointing to her kitty cat. Remember her.

    • J. M. Tusks, Esq.

      Republican women just hate other women, because they’re competition for their husbands’ money. They fuckin’ LOVE themselves, tell you whut.

    • MissNomer

      The only female demographic Trump won was non-college-educated white women.

      This why it is so important to educate girls.

  • the_steamer

    I’m so shy that when a woman i had been in a relationship for months asked for a cock pic I sent this: https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/95c91d07688f49808f4389a68b54947ec71d30d48a74f6b03863d38f81e0d274.png

  • Lulu Mac

    I am proud and thankful for all the brave women and men that have come forward. I am ecstatic to see these predators fall from grace and acclaim. But I am also tired. So, so tired. This is exhausting.

  • disqus_lWwzrwNaw6

    It took millennia for what exists today as European/American culture to be profoundly deformed by racism and gender madness. The struggle to heal has only been going on for a couple of hundred years.

    It’s going to be a long fight. It’s far, far from over: it’s scarcely begun.

    But it’s a good fight, to be engaged with zest and passion.

    I will never again waste one millisecond of my life or one fragment of my soul worrying that any of the things that have been done to me or others because of gender or color or any other condition, were accidental or deserved, or that they were somehow my fault, or the consequence of misunderstandings or mixed signals, or “just the way it used to be in History.” Evil is evil. I’m not here on earth to tolerate it.

  • Jamalama

    As a parent, sometimes I feel trepidation about raising our two (one girl, one boy) and just making sure that they come out as decent human beings- both to others and to themselves. Everyday I tell my kids, especially the boy, to respect the others body. They both have impulse issues and some days it feels like Sisyphus and I quietly despair. TL; dr- raising kids is hard.

    But when our FUCKING PRESIDENT is one of these little, cowardly shits, I feel a holy fire to make doubly sure they are nothing like that. I so want him to answer for his crimes, which are undoubtedly true, based on his actions and speech. It is a new paradigm and I am glad my children are growing up in it.

    • YoBunnyBunny

      Hopefully, what you’re telling your kids is sinking in. When I see all these dumb dudes who are totally confused about not groping women, I think to myself:

      “Didn’t your parents ever tell you to keep your hands to yourself??? MINE sure as hell did!!!” But I’m merely a decent human being, I guess.

      • marxalot

        Comrade Mom and Running Dad had a hard-and-fast “no hitting, no throwing things” rule that sometimes extended to “no touching at all of any kind Jesus Christ I leave you two alone for five minutes.”

    • Lulu Mac

      I have such a predicament with this. My hubby is a wonderful man and understands my passion and feminism, and advocacy. But he is still a product of his raising and his privilege. Example, he will play wrestle with our son. He’s doing the rough and tumble “Dad” thing and my son will yell out, half-laughing, “stop daddy!” My husband jholds harder, and my son keeps yelling, both playing the game and I’m freaking the fuck out. I’ve started speaking by saying things like “no means no and daddy will stop if you say no” trying to give hubby The Look. But, I feel like I’m not getting through on this particular issue. It’s fun for them and traumatic for me…I just don’t know…

      • Jamalama

        I respect my kids “no”, even if I think differently.

      • YoBunnyBunny

        No lie, I have a thing about being tickled specifically because of that (mostly from my older brothers though). If anybody even suggests that they’re going to tickle me or tries to sneak a tickle as horseplaying, I literally assume fight stance and I will seriously punch out anybody who tries me. Having been tickled until I couldn’t breathe has that effect on me now.

        • Lulu Mac

          If you try to tickle me I will legit murder you. You can thank my asshole brother for that.

        • MizzMazz

          Tickling is fucked. My Dad did that to us, and it was supposed to be play, but I hated the shit out of it. I don’t like my feet touched to this day because of it, and off the wall little pokes and touches freak me out.

        • Good_Gawd_Yall

          I remember once being on a church excursion and one of the young male “counselors” “play-tickling” one of the young women (probably we were 12-14? not entire sure but I know we were too young to consent) in a way that was disturbing enough that I told my mother about it. She hit the roof. At the time I didn’t understand why (that’s how young and innocent I was). Now, of course, I find myself wondering whatever happened to that guy and with how many people he thought it was okay to engage in sexual play before the age of consent.

      • LeighBowery’sLuxuryComedy

        I think you and Dad need to have little chat away from Junior’s ears. Yes, it’s “just play”.Yes, it’s a dad thing that he quite possibly learned from his own father. However. It is also, on some unconscious level, reinforcing the notion that “no” doesn’t ALWAYS have to mean no. That when it’s just play, just kidding around, it can be alright to ignore no; and aren’t we seeing that excuse trotted out right now? “I was just kidding. We were just fooling around, it wasn’t serious”.

        Do we *really* have to explain again that what you think is ‘just for fun’ might be something very different to the other person? Even if they’re laughing and smiling at the time? There’s a reason safe words exist, and unless you’re already explicitly and consensually in an edge-play relationship where you both agree otherwise, NO should always, always, **always** be the #1 safe word going.

        • Lulu Mac

          This is exactly my point! We’ve had the conversation, but apparently need to keep having it. I’m just so fucking tired of DOING THE GODDAMN WORK! Sorry…

          • Good_Gawd_Yall

            Maybe you could show him this thread? Let him see how many women and young men on this ONE website have had unwanted encounters, all of them from adults who didn’t respect boundaries of any kind?

          • J. M. Tusks, Esq.

            This is the wrong website and the wrong thread to say this but…Christ, is playing with our kids going to turn them into sexual predators now? Can we no longer even trust ourselves to teach our kids about boundaries while also being the Daddy Tickle Monster? Good god.

            I know things are scary now, but my belief that myself and my wife can keep our kids from becoming psychos is helping me get through it.

          • Tory Klementsen

            Judging from the number of us who have been molested, maybe this game needs to be a thing of the past. Maybe it doesn’t teach kids boundaries. Because the good old days weren’t so fucking good. I was molested in the 70s, touched inappropriately in the 80s, and harassed through the 90s and into the 2000s. So yeah…maybe for some kids it does turn them into sexual predators because there too damned many kids and adults out there now who don’t seem to understand that no means no, your hands do not get to touch my body without permission, and I don’t need nor want your sexual comments as I’m trying to go about my day.

            So yeah…maybe you need to listen to your kids and talk about this specifically because no one ever thinks their kids do it. I’ve been a teacher for 23 years and I have never called home and said to a parent, “I’m having an issue with your child and his/her behavior towards another child” that the parent wasn’t just stunned. I actually do teach my students intentionally how to treat women they’ll be working with (since I teach Career and Tech) and we talk about issues. I, of course, keep my opinions tempered and let them talk…but I also make sure that they understand their personal responsibilities as they move into adulthood.

          • LeighBowery’sLuxuryComedy

            Oh I hear ya on that honey. I only ran across the term ’emotional labor’ recently, but boy did I know **exactly** what it meant when I did.

          • Sunhead

            We’ve had the conversation, but apparently need to keep having it

            You are not going to change his behaviour learned through the 20 years growing up with his family with one conversation. You will need to keep reinforcing the change.
            You can try this one… “Do I or our son need to use a safeword before you will listen to us?”

      • J. M. Tusks, Esq.

        I think if you just hammer the distinction between playing with Daddy and inappropriately touching anyone else, it will stick. How old is your son? It’s never too soon to start but it will be easier to communicate it as he gets older, obviously. It can be troubling, but trust that your son can learn the difference if you keep on him about it.

  • Put On Your War Paint!

    Ima logout before I punch the Fridge again. I hate life. and I hate males right now.

    • Daniel

      Before you go remember: the world is full of wigs and hats. Many of both are awesome.

      Also, pakoras.

    • Persistent Demme

      I totally get it.
      Take care.

  • Resistance Fighter Astraea

    I’ve actually been surprised that there are consequences to the allegations against Louis C.K. and Kevin Spacey. That movies are not going forward and hosting opportunities are being cancelled. It does seem that some kind of change is happening. In the past there have been waves of increased awareness, but it seemed like no one cared to actually follow through with any real consequences. Especially consequences that would hit their profits.

    Whenever #MeToo starts trending, I think #NotYet. I haven’t been sexually assaulted. Yet. I haven’t been harassed or stalked. Yet. It makes me so angry that so many have had to survive mens’ sexual violence and aggression, and that many of us live wondering when it will happen to us because the likelihood that we’ll get through this life without it happening is not big.

    • Hollandaise

      I don’t trust it. I just don’t.

      • Resistance Fighter Astraea

        I don’t expect it to be a permanent change either.

      • YoBunnyBunny

        Let this all blow over, and it will be business as usual, I fear. As bright a spotlight that ‘s being shown FOR NOW, it’s easy to just drop them now.

    • rosenbomb

      I, too, am a #notyet. I realized that when I thought to myself, “I’m so lucky to have not been raped or assaulted.”

    • Daniel

      The Kevin Spacey thing, I’ll admit, I find a little problematic. They’re editing him out of that film. I mean, at first viewing it’s already difficult enough to guess who Kaiser Soze is, but now it’s going to be impossible.

      • Shanzgood

        It took ONE MAN coming forward to take him down.

        • Daniel

          You know, even in the dreaded Sharia law there isn’t a “tens of women to one man” testimony ratio.

        • chortlingdingo

          Yeah, I’m glad he’s facing repercussions, but I couldn’t help noticing that too.

  • Courser_Resistance

    I feel I need to share a resource with my fellow Wonkers.

    Marilyn Van Derbur is a native Coloradan born into a very prominent Denver family. Her father was an esteemed attorney. He also raped Marilyn (and her sister) from the ages from 5 to 18 years old. You read that right, 18. After he died, Marilyn found out that he had *never* stopped. He was still actively molesting young girls until he died.

    Marilyn’s story is one of recovery and hope. Knowing that is probably one of the most important things about her story.

    She was interviewed by local TV on the occasion of a talk she gave at an incest/sex abuse resource/recovery center in the Metro. I bought the Kindle version of her book, “Miss America by Day” because my baby brother disclosed to me last year that he’d been molested on a family vacation years ago but was apparently repressing memories. But he *knows* something happened and is terrified that he ‘asked for it’. I desperately tried to impress upon him that there’s no fucking way he ‘wanted’ any such thing, but the damage done to their own self-esteem and confidence is crippling. He’s too afraid to find out the truth.

    The book can be a *very* difficult read in places due to the subject matter. I think anyone who knows or even hears a story has questions that are just too horrible to ask. Marilyn provides them and yes, it’s tough stuff. But she’s an excellent writer and doesn’t dwell much on the really visceral stuff.

    I know at *least* one Wonker who is an incest survivor and as Marilyn has found out, where there’s one, there are others.

    If you will reach out to Marilyn she *will* reply to you with all the love and compassion she has (which is massive). She answers all her own email and will keep all of your secrets safe and will provide you with resources and her own wisdom and belief that you *can* come out the other side. I know this because I emailed her about my brother. She knows that each person needs to reach out when they are ready.

    This is her website:
    http://www.missamericabyday.com/

    Her book, “MIss America by Day” is available through her website and also from Amazon (and if you click-y on the Amazon link-y on this page Wonkette will get a cut! Win-Win!)

    • Eileen Besse

      Thank you.

  • Teto85

    And remember, that which hits the fan is not always evenly distributed. They proved that on Mythbusters.

  • Daniel
    • YoBunnyBunny

      Not quite. It looks like the AL GOP and RNC will continue to raise money, but not the GOP Senatorial committee, which makes sense because Turtleman & Co.

      • disqus_lWwzrwNaw6

        A lot of this involves a proxy war between the Kochs (McConnell) and the Mercers/Steve Bannon (Ol’ Judge Moore): presumably, Mercer money will keep making its way into Alabama, unless Robert Mercer is really scared, in which case it might start drying up.

        But Alabama is a Republican state, with one of the leakiest voting machine systems in all the 50 states, so goodness only knows what happens now.

        • Good_Gawd_Yall

          What can the public do to encourage Mercer to stop supporting Bannon’s chosen miscreants? Is there a business we can target?

        • mfp, all 6s&7s&9s

          oh, i think we all know what happens…moore gets elected to the senate, cause….ala-fucking-bama

        • Jack Takes A Knee

          And gerrymandered to hell and back. I lived in the bluest and most populous part of Jefferson county and never had my vote counted for statewide elections. Jefferson was always called before the polls in my area even closed.

    • commatoes

      Oh financially.

      Ya got my hopes up there fer a bit.

      • Resistance Fighter Astraea

        Not even (with votes) :(

    • SDGeoff3

      eeeek!! Messy messy.

  • Edith Prickly
  • James Baskin

    I keep thinking about good ole Billshit O’Reilly. Even after the crap started hitting the fan at Fox, I’m betting he thought he was never going to be outed. That’s why he’s screeching so loudly about ‘I is framed by liberals cuz of my odious views.’ He can’t believe that it happened to him.

  • Jonny On Maui

    Men, we have some unlearning to do…

    https://youtu.be/PscD6h1iNiI

  • aureolaborealis

    Once while I was rough-housing with my older daughter, she kicked me very hard in the nuts. After I was done not-vomiting and she was done crying about hurting me, we had a little talk: “OK. I know that was an accident, but remember what you just did, and if anyone ever tries to hurt you or steal you away or touch your privates, I want you to do that to them as hard as you can. Then run away, screaming for help.”

    • Angela Ruzzo

      You poor man, I hear that is terribly painful, but what a wonderful thing you said to your daughter. I once accidentally kicked my older brother in the nuts when we were both swimming (I was 6, he was 13) and he nearly drowned. I had no idea what I had done, my mother had to explain it to me, and she said something similar to what you told your daughter. It definitely made an impression on me.

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      My dad didn’t have to suffer the physical effects of this kind of thing, but he had “that talk” with me too. In a genteel, mannerly way, because my dad was one hell of a great father. I realize more and more all the time just how great he was. And miss the opportunity to tell him so.

    • puredog

      Textbook definition of “a teachable moment.”

  • rosenbomb

    I just got back from a Veteran’s Day celebration on campus. A choir from a local elementary school came and sang, which was sweet. I had just read this prior to the event, and as I scanned their faces, I thought, “in all likelihood, at least one of these kids has been molested. Probably more than one.” It was a sad thought to have.

    • Angela Ruzzo

      I had five bosom girlfriends all the way from 5th grade into adulthood. I was past 30 before two of them told me they had been molested by family members when they were children. I had no idea…they had never said anything about it for 20 years, but it haunted them. They are all over 60 now and it still haunts them, and it negatively affected most of their major life decisions.

      • rosenbomb

        That kills me.

        My mom was molested by her stepfather, but I only know that because my sister told me. I’ve never brought it up because it breaks my heart. She’s always been a great mom though, and I’m thankful for that knowing how destructive childhood abuse can be in your adult life.

        • Angela Ruzzo

          I have three male friends who were viciously abused physically by alcoholic fathers and stepfathers from early childhood until they escaped at age 18 by joining the military, and it affected their entire adult lives. The whole idea of abusing children is so sickening I can hardly bear to talk about it. Ditto for abusing animals (except spiders, I am compelled to kill them).

    • SDGeoff3

      Or otherwise abused.

  • Mavenmaven

    As Pascal said, “All of humanity’s problems stem from man’s inability to keep his dick in his pants alone.”

  • LeighBowery’sLuxuryComedy

    That tweet, the one at the end of the article? Was around 99,000 when I RT’d it earlier today. That’s quite the rolling snowball.

  • Lulu Mac

    Fuck your fucking fuckface, motherfucker…
    https://twitter.com/oneunderscore__/status/929058086953914368

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      I hope she sues him into oblivion and beyond. I hope she wins so much money he winds up working at a Papa Johns and can’t get overtime, and she gets half his paycheck every week. I hope he steps on a rake every day and Legos every night. I hope every table he ever passes leaps out into his path and he barks his shin in the same spot for eternity. I hope there’s an unidentified hair in every meal he eats for the rest of his life. I hope when he makes his final car payment he totals the car the next day. I hope when he tries to avoid the rake he steps in dogshit.

      • Angela Ruzzo

        Amen.

      • SeekingCovfefeBarbie

        That is a fine curse. Epic, even.

        • Lulu Mac

          I want it on a cross stitch…

      • Daniel

        You spared him having to eat at Papa John’s?

        • SDGeoff3

          That is where the unidentified hair comes in.

          • Wee Mousie

            The hair is the most nutritious part/.

          • SDGeoff3

            Mmmm…pepperoni hair.

          • SDGeoff3

            My cat thinks so too. At 3am.

      • Lulu Mac
      • SDGeoff3

        A masterwork. Worthy of a setting by Mahler, at the very least. I kneel in awe.

      • Eileen Besse

        Okay, you DEFINITELY win.

    • YoBunnyBunny

      LOOK, dammit! I’m about fresh out of goddamn VOTES!!!1!!!!!

    • commatoes

      There was a truly cruel “practical joke” that involved sliding a dead gold fish into someone’s car A/C vent. Until now, I have thought this to be too mean and destructive.

      Or maybe find out where he lives and hide cans of surstromming around his house.

      • puredog

        I get all tingly when Wonkette sends me to Google.

      • Sunhead

        No need to kill a goldfish you monster.
        Any fish will do. Just get a small one from the market.
        Or you could use canned clams.

        • commatoes

          The dead parrot was too big and gold fish seem to die spontaneously.

          The actual practical joke called for a live gold fish as its flopping would get it deeper into the dash’s ducting.

      • John Thorstensen

        I heard a tale of revenge once that involved putting mercacptan in a fraternity house’s duct work. That’s the stuff they put a tiny trace of in natural gas to alert you that there’s a leak. In higher concentrations it is overwhelmingly foul. The place was uninhabitable for months.

      • LA Julian

        Tin of Spam in the engine compartment…

  • Angela Ruzzo

    I heard a joke in high school that went

    “Why do men have a penis?”
    “Because they need somewhere to keep their brains.”

    This is, of course, not true of ALL men, but it does seem to be true of many men.

    • h4rr4r

      Two brains, only enough blood to use one at a time.

    • I know a joke:

      Why do women have legs..?

      • theCryptofishist

        If that’s the joke I think it is, I’m still traumatized from some asshole telling in when I was in high school.

    • SDGeoff3

      That would account for why men exaggerate their size.

      • h4rr4r

        You measure from the asshole. Everyone knows this!

    • commatoes

      This joke can go ether way.

      “Did you know that all babies are born with penises?”
      “Really?”
      “Yes. But they fall off the smart ones.”

      • Angela Ruzzo

        Hahaha! I must use that one at my next meeting of Planned Parenthood volunteers.

    • bbayliss

      why do men…something about a kickstand to keep them from rolling out of bed when they’re sleeping?
      Sorry, heard it 60 years ago.

  • Bub, the cynical zombie
    • h4rr4r

      Does anyone not think admitting it is the best thing he could do?

      I am not saying good, but at this point I think that is far better than denial and more lies.

      • commatoes

        Best out of a lot of bad options.

        And the only thing that possibly asserts C.K. has any remaining humanity.

        • h4rr4r

          Yeah, that is all I am saying.
          At least he did not put them through more hell like the others did.

          • LA Julian

            You mean more than the YEARS of hell he already DID, first harassing them, then threatening them to silence them, then lying & gaslighting everyone about it…

          • h4rr4r

            I did not know about that.

            No matter what he did, telling the truth now is better than continuing the lie.

    • TundraGrifter

      At least he didn’t apologize to anyone who might have been offended.

      Admit the problem.

      Go get professional help.

      Leave public life for an appropriate period of time while you get your shit together.

      Led a good life ever after.

      And plan to write a few fat checks.

      That’s about all anybody can do.

  • desertgypsygirl

    HOLD ON THERE

    >>>>>>cute and cheeky to brag about walking around dressing rooms full of naked beauty teenage pageant contestants.<<<<<<<

    Hey, Robin! What's the big deal? We see naked bodies in just about every movie and TV show today! Naked bodies, sexual activity and toilet use scenes are common visual fare on so-called entertainment these days. And it's ALL without MY permission! I don't want to see any of it. It is "sexually assaulting" my eyes and brain. Yet, there it is. Straight from Hollywood and NY without apology or even hesitation.

    But I don't have to watch, you say. You're right, I don't. I fast-forward through it all, and if there's too much of it, I turn it off. When they clean up the airways and screens, and stop making like it's all okay, we'll see a whole lot less sexual abuse in our real lives.

    • Shanzgood

      No. That’s not how sexual abuse works.

      • desertgypsygirl

        Oh, really? It seems to me that sexual abuse is anything anybody says it is these days. And THAT’S what is is to me!

        • Daniel

          Can I just clarify- do you consider any of the following to be sexual assault:
          1) masturbating in front of someone who does not want you to do so.
          2) making a teenage girl touch your genitals without her wanting to.
          3) touching the genitals of that teenage girl without her wanting you to.

          Your comments suggest you think these things are merely trivial, and they don’t really qualify as sexual assault. If this is the case, please explain what you would define by that term.

          • desertgypsygirl

            Yeah, that all is, and apparently so is “Hey, sweetheart.”

          • Daniel

            Right, so you’re not interested in actually engaging the topic you’re more interested in using a straw man to validate your sense of victimhood.

          • TundraGrifter

            Or a straw woman. Perhaps one of those is cheaper than an inflatable doll? I ask for a friend.

          • alpacapunchbowl
          • TundraGrifter

            Probably an acquired taste – like asparagus, Scotch and anal sex.

          • alpacapunchbowl
          • Daniel

            Are you one of those people who also believes that “racism” is a meaningless concept because so many things are racist?

          • h4rr4r

            It does not believe anything, it is shitposting.
            It thinks this is funny. Don’t respond to it.

            Folks, hug your kids so they don’t turn out like this.

          • TundraGrifter

            That’s what user block is for. Like the fool here who didn’t understand an English word.

          • desertgypsygirl

            No, but I do think racism was resolved back in the sixties. Any racism that exists now was brought on in recent years by Democrats.

          • Daniel

            Right.

            You think prejudice was literally ended by legislation.

            I’m going to go out on a limb and suggest that despite your name you’re male and white.

          • 52camellias

            And fourteen, fifteen — exactly the right age to be coveted by Roy Moore as a sex object.

          • Wee Mousie

            Ans as a light snack if Jeffrey Dahmer were still among us.

          • Wee Mousie

            And not very bright.

          • SomeBigRedDog

            I mean they get to drink out of the same water fountain and everything now. What more could they want?

          • puredog

            The stupid is very strong with this one.

          • alpacapunchbowl

            You are trying to punch waaaay above your weight class here. You need to do better than that if you’re going to spar with the wonketariat.

          • bbayliss

            HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHPUKE

          • Eileen Besse

            Quintillion dittos!

          • sillyclucker

            Oh, good god ! SERIOUSLY ??? You are beyond stupid.

          • Hiss

            And what 60’s would those be? 2060? 2160?

          • bbayliss

            You prefer toots?

          • OutOfOrbit

            well 53% womenz voted for tRumpsterfire knowing he will grab them by the pussy or “force” a kiss on them. which among us is speaking for them?

          • desertgypsygirl

            No one. But there seems to be plenty speaking for a U. S. President that has sex with an intern in the White House.

          • Daniel

            Yes, consensual sex is a terrible thing.

          • Shanzgood

            Consent. Such a difficult concept for some.

          • bbayliss

            Consenting Adult…
            inconceivable

          • IdRatherBeDancing

            Consensual sex, you mean? You are very very bad at trolling.

          • bbayliss

            Oh Burn!!! good one!!!111!!!
            Except for one thing, no actually except for everything.

          • Daniel

            …you’re asking why no one is speaking up for people who are OK with being kissed or groped?

          • OutOfOrbit

            no, i asked, “who is speaking for them?”

          • Daniel

            They are?

          • Shanzgood

            53% of women WHO VOTED voted for Trump. Not 53% of all women. But it doesn’t matter who they voted for, they still don’t deserve to be assaulted.

          • OutOfOrbit

            i agree with you, my question was rhetorical. anytime one peep claims to speak for an entire group, they [should] be reminded that no [one] can do that

          • Shanzgood

            Ah, I see now.

          • OutOfOrbit

            i know me sometimes obtoose about a things but had i been more direct i would be accused of suggesting that some womenz donut mind being groped, like the tRumpster females wearin shirts wut say “you can grab MY pussy mr tRump”

          • Shanzgood

            Yes, I saw those photos, too. I’m pretty sure they weren’t asking to get groped themselves. It’s a way of making it ok to throw OTHER women under the bus. That’s what they do to justify aligning themselves with a political party that’s patently trying to turn back the clock on women’s rights.

          • OutOfOrbit

            they not helping their cause methinks but WAIT! they all so stoopid hippocritters my head hurts to even try following how it works inside brains like that i need a aspirin & a good drunk

          • Wee Mousie

            For some old fart to be able to grab a young good looking girl by her pussy, without the sky falling in on him, must be GREAT!

            Maybe that explains MAGA! Welcome to the 20teens, where guys can behave like Mad Men

          • Wee Mousie

            Except for Trump, of course, because remember, his is the only opinion that matters.

          • Historicat

            53% of white women. And you’re right they don’t deserve to be assaulted; mocked mercilessly but not assaulted.

        • TundraGrifter

          It seems to me you are a braindead idiot.

          • bbayliss

            I believe there is indisputable evidence.

        • SDGeoff3

          Rules and suggestions for trollers: First we post, THEN we drink. The rest of us non-commenters, not so much. Sayonara, sweetheart.

        • ziggywiggy

          Dear shit-fer-brains, you are a sad little troll.

        • bbayliss

          It seems to me that gravity is just a theory and I can fly!
          WEEEEEE

        • Did your parents raise you this stupid or did you learn that all on yourself? Just asking for science.

        • TheFamilyThalamusPersists

          “I know you are, but what am I?”
          This is what you sound like. Are you six?
          Just take your ball and go home, m’kay?

        • sillyclucker

          Then sue the TV or yourself for watching it.

    • Daniel

      Did the people in those programmes consent to being filmed and shown in this way?

      Did the people that Donald Trump perved on consent to being walked in on and watched?

      • desertgypsygirl

        No, and I didn’t consent to seeing it on a movie I was watching!

        • h4rr4r

          You just said you did.
          You watched the movie, thus giving consent to be shown the contents of the movie.

          This is some pretty shitty trolling.

          • desertgypsygirl

            Read it again. I just said I DIDN’T. I said I turned it off. You need some reading comprehension lessons.

          • rosenbomb

            You need some lessons on how to be an empathetic human being.

          • Daniel

            Then if you turned it off, what exactly is the problem?

          • Shanzgood

            You need your parents to have taught you better manners.

          • TundraGrifter

            And not to have dressed her so funny.

          • Shanzgood

            I’m not so sure about the “her” part now.

          • TundraGrifter

            Agreed. But she, he or it is blocked so frankly, my dear, I don’t give a damn.

          • OutOfOrbit

            me no sure ’bout nuttin

          • h4rr4r

            Your trolling is still shitty.

          • Eileen Besse

            Hahahahahah, it really is….

          • Wee Mousie

            Seems like you need some reading comprehension, too. Had you read the rating and the reason for the rating, like : Rated PG-!3 for language, or Rated G for childish plot, or Rated R for sexual contend and Adult situations. Had you done that, you would not have had to turn off any movies half way through because you were squicked by skin.

            And if you can’t find the Rating on the case, look up the title on the Internet Movie Database.

        • Daniel

          And, as you say, you can turn it off.

          Could those girls have told Trump to leave? Would that have jeopardised their places in the competition? Would they have been taken seriously by a much older, more wealthy, more powerful man had they done so?

          Do you actually understand why literal sexual assault and the mere existence of images you don’t like are two different things?

        • Daniel

          Just out of interest, what film was it you both consented to watch and didn’t consent to watch simultaneously?

          • BlackAvengeroftheSpanishMain

            Not sure, but she must have rented it from Schrodingers Redbox…

        • alpacapunchbowl
        • Wee Mousie

          There was either a sign on the DVD package that said, “Rated PG-17 for nudity, language and Adult situations,” or an announcer’s voice over before the movie on a TV or cable station which said something similar. If you don’t look or listen for warning you have no right to complain.

          Unless. of course, you are trying to force Hollywood to only make G-rated films, like the Hays Commission did back in 1933.

          If such is the case,: Get Stuffed !!!.

    • Lulu Mac
      • TundraGrifter

        Where did you get the Don King doll?

    • Resistance Fighter Astraea
      • IdRatherBeDancing

        OMG — I loved that series — and she was great in it!

        • Lil’Evil

          Which series is it? The police one?

          • TheFamilyThalamusPersists

            The Fall!!

    • SomeBigRedDog

      http://www.tvguidelines.org/resources/TV_Parental_guidelines_Brochure.pdf

      You might find this useful so you don’t get traumatized by the naughty bits of Law and Order anymore.

    • TundraGrifter

      Your comparison doesn’t make logical sense. The young ladies participating in a beauty contest didn’t expect a lecherous old man to be ogling them as they got ready to go on stage.

      That has nothing – NOTHING! – in common with somebody watching a movie or television. Watching is not “sexually assaulting” your eyes or your brain. Based on your post, while it’s likely you have the first, I very much doubt you have the second.

    • Andrew Rheinheimer

      You were able to turn it off. We’re those women able to do the same when forced to do disgusting things for the promise of a ‘career’ or ‘favours’?

      No.

      They will be haunted by what they went through, and were practically unable to avoid because of the soiety we live in, while you can go about your business leaving tonedeaf comments on a left-leaning, tongue-in-cheek news blog about how modern media and advertising is the only thing to blame.

      • Shanzgood

        Because sexual abuse never happened before televisions were invented, right?

        Ugh.

        • Andrew Rheinheimer

          It goes back through the eons; I wish it were all over with.

          I’m just glad that I get to watch a system of silencing victims topple down.

    • Cat Cafe

      Oh, stop being ridiculous. You’re really tiresome.

      • JustDon’tSayConfabulation

        Imma try my favortie greeting.

    • bbayliss

      Oh my, someone doesn’t “get it.”

    • JustDon’tSayConfabulation

      HI THERE!
      Fuck off.

    • J. M. Tusks, Esq.

      So it’s not really anyone’s fault when you diddle or get diddled. Got it.

    • SeeTrain65

      Jesus Christ, what a fail.

      BYE.

    • John Thorstensen

      Look, this won’t do. The Russians have pushed standards in the trolling industry much higher than this.

    • sillyclucker

      Does your TV turn itself on, lock the door, and threaten you if you don’t watch ?

  • Andrew Rheinheimer

    I can’t remember on what thread I shared how I acted abbhoridly years ago to a female coworker. I believe it was the one with Robyn destroying that lecherous bastard from Chicago.

    I’ll try and copypasta it over tonight.

    • La Cieca

      Mmm copypasta

    • John Thorstensen

      I remember that post — you said you’d harassed a Walmart co-worker, and been promptly and deservedly fired, and that you’d learned never to do that and behaved yourself ever since. I thought it was brave of you to have admitted this.

      • Andrew Rheinheimer

        Yes, that one.

        It’s not bravery to me, it’s common sense and a hope to have it used as a lesson. Thank you though. :)

  • Jennifer R
    • Shanzgood

      They say words all on a row but…there’s no sense in them.

      • phoenix00

        Much like their Harasser-in-Chief.

    • mancityRed6

      sure. and we’ll see if he shows back up in 3 days.

      • Maybe if we stick him in a cave with a giant rock across it, and then check… sometime. If we remember.

    • alpacapunchbowl
    • Hey fuckhead,
      Jesus never molested any children. Neither had Barabbas.

    • Amy!

      “And Judge Roy said, ‘Let me come upon the the little children!'”

      ETA: I feel really dirty just typing that shit. Do you think his brother has any regrets for what he said?

      • theCryptofishist

        I love you for feeling dirty for writing that. And for not pulling the post…

    • Kurt Weil

      So ignorant. Jesus was always boosting stuff from The Dollar Store. Dish soap, potato chips, flea collars. He didn’t even need any of it. Crazy.

  • IdRatherBeDancing

    Well, as an owner of a penis, i am a little embarrassed by the geiger counter on that ReTweet.

  • Soapy

    I’m not going to mince words and let me jump right into it.

    Leave fucking children alone! Period!
    I don’t care if they are fully developed and “acting grow” to know what they are doing, leave them the fuck alone.

    And even if they are 18, you know what consent is! IF THEY DON’T WANT IT, DON’T FUCKING DO IT! Don’t drug, don’t threaten, don’t blackmail, dont force yourself onto them while their sleep, don’t remove condoms. NONE OF IT! Learn what the fuck consent is!

    Men, who don’t violate women and children, I’m sorry your reading and hearing about your fellow men who are predators but I’m glad your listening. Please start educating your sons, nephews, young boys coming up in your neighborhoods wherever that: no means no. We need you more as an ally to help stop all this disgusting behavior. The more men understand sex abuse is wrong the less and less we’ll hear about it and reading it on Twitter feeds (because to be honest, I’m sick to death of it because there is still so many uneducated and revolting beings still defending the Trumps and Moores of our world). I don’t ask much from men as a black lesbian woman but the few times I do I want men to actually defend women and children more than ever.

    • bbayliss

      Leave Women alone!
      They will always let you know if they are interested.

    • Roadstergal

      Hey, if you’re an adult with a career? Leave those 18 year olds alone, too. The difference between your 40some self and them is not minor, even if they’re technically not minors either.

  • RevengeOfSmot

    While his behavior was inexcusable, it’s good to see at least one of them own it entirely, with no excuses, and no running off to rehab for their “sex addiction”.

    You fucked up Louis CK, you’ve let a lot of people down that depended on you for an income, the enjoyed your work, and paid good money to see you perform over the years. The only good thing to come from this is that you are owning your behavior.

    https://news.vice.com/story/louis-ck-admits-everything-these-stories-are-true

    • WomanInThePersistence

      Yay.

    • Mehmeisterjr

      When I watched the episode where he forced himself on a woman I thought:

      Well, this is one of two things:

      1 Autobiography or

      2 A brutal attack on somebody who would do something like that, putting himself, fictionally, in the place of the attacker.

      Honestly, I thought it felt more like 1 and never watched his show again, while wondering if I was being unfair.

      Turns out, I was right the first time.

      • LA Julian

        Then after that, he went and produced a whole movie around patriarchal skeeziness, featuring his own behaviours in particular, as if he were daring the universe to smite him.

        And Karma looked down, and smiled with all her long white teeth, and whispered, ‘Challenge accepted.’

    • LA Julian

      That’s not an ‘owning my behaviour’ at all. That’s waiting until it didn’t ‘go away’ again after it all being splashed on the front page of the NYT, all the years of sex abuse, lies, and gaslighting, followed by THREATS TO THE CAREERS of the victims, until KARMA OF THE SHARP TEETH took down his own career like a diseased animal for those threats, and ONLY THEN saying ‘Golly gee gosh, I had NO IDEA that all these women I intimidated into keeping silent about my shoving my peen in their faces, didn’t actually WANT my peen in their face! They just ADMIRED ME SO MUCH they let me do it, it didn’t have A THING I TELL YOU, NOT ONE THING to do with me having the ability to torch their careers and reputations! I’m just a sad lil ol’ nice guy, HONEST HONEY, please gimme a key again, ‘kay?’

      Nope. Narcissist’s Creed apology –

      ‘I didn’t do it, and if I did
      It wasn’t that bad, and if it was
      It wasn’t my fault, and if it was
      Well, you deserved it (and it hurts me more than it hurts you)’

      • Jay Hansen

        It seems he mentioned a power disparity between men and women in the apology, and what you’re asserting that he said is NOT what he said.

        • arrrghle

          Well, there’s a bit of hyperbole, but yeah, he kinda did say it. That his power over those women was because they admired him so much. No mention of the fact that he could make or break their careers. No mention of the threats and gaslighting–also part of those women’s true stories.

          In fact he mentioned how much he’s admired so many times in his apology, that the apology itself feels a little masturbatory. Yuck.

  • John Thorstensen

    As an edumacator, I wonder how much of this behavior was learned and legitimized in college fraternity houses. My guess would be quite a lot of it.

    • Some of it. Not nearly even half of it I suspect, however. Plenty of people that do this sort of thing who have never been to college.
      Remember: Sexual predation is a power thing, not a sexual thing. Should more rightly be called Power Predation in my mind.

      • John Thorstensen

        I completely agree. What strikes me, though, is that are probably quite a few men who have a prediliction for this kind of behavior, who would have never expressed it without the social validation that a bad frat environment provides. And having discovered the rush that having power over women gives them (it’s sure not my idea of a good time [pauses to throw up], but evidently some men find it gratifying), they persist in the behavior later in life.

        It’s the same with alcoholism. Most frat boys engage in binge drinking at some point or other; for the ones with a prediliction for alcoholism, this is especially dangerous because it normalizes the behavior.

        • Alternative Dog

          This is right on the money, but I think it’s endemic to any male-dominated organization that bestows disproportionate power: sports, clergy, law enforcement, corporate board rooms, legislatures, etc.

          • John Thorstensen

            I concur again; the thing about frats is that they affect young men at a particularly pliable stage in their development. A state legislator or corporate board member has had quite a bit more time to gel.

            Sports is another matter. Hazing rituals are endemic among sports teams; they’re all about power, and some are sexual. And the participants are relatively young.

            Sports AND frats? The potential for Bad Shit is endless.

    • arrrghle

      ooh, no. Nope. Trust me, this is JUST as prevalent among men who have never seen the inside of a fraternity house, as among men who have.

      It is astounding to me that so many men are so surprised by this, or think it’s somehow an isolated or rare phenomenon. Nope: this is UNIVERSAL. It happens in every room, everywhere, sooner or later. (Clearly not when some of y’all guys are looking, though.)

      • theCryptofishist

        Yeah, I’d say Jr. High locker room… Not that frats aren’t loathsome. Sorry, “not all frats-ers” but the heinous behavior of some reflects badly on the rest.

      • John Thorstensen

        You may well be right, in terms of numbers. But having a bunch of brothers humiliating you and then egging you on can’t be of help.

        • arrrghle

          I think that “frat” behavior is just one manifestation of misogyny and the way men enforce it by abusing each other, calling each other “women” insults (pussy, dickless, etc)–That is, the whole “frat” thing is not a cause, it’s a result, of the same dynamic that leads to women being treated as things. So yes, it’s familiar and similar, but don’t confuse the cause for the effect. Misogyny, the hatred and abuse of women, is a much bigger phenomenon in every corner of the planet. Frat hazing and abuse and rape parties are just one of many manifestations.

        • MissNomer

          A frat is just one of the places groups of men objectify women. It could just as easily be a locker room, repair shop, factory floor, corner office, golf course, conference room, convention, oil rig, truck stop, you name it. The behavior is universal and cuts across class, race, education, and economic lines.

  • TimJ

    Louis CK (whoever he is) seems to have handled this as well as can be expected, he straight up up said, yep, I did it, I was wrong, and I am sorry. And no one should ever pay him a minute of attention ever again.

    • LA Julian

      He only said I did it blah blah blah AFTER he got caught by one of the biggest names in media, AFTER it was clear he wasn’t going to skate without some sort of apology, and – especially – AFTER years of lying & threats to his victims. If that’s ‘as well as can be expected’ then all these abusers need a deep hole with no key and no ladder. We don’t even need their fake bs apologies first.

      • Jay Hansen

        Did you expect him to boast about it?

      • John Thorstensen

        Did he really threaten his victims? That’s at least as bad as doing it in the first place.

        • his manager threatened for him. He’s actually the bigger problem.

    • Alternative Dog

      I just heard something about this on the radio and I have to agree. I haven’t heard a single one of the other assholes express a genuine admission of guilt and a seemingly honest apology. It sounds like he did pretty much exactly what Robyn is talking about here.

    • arrrghle

      UH…except he’s been doing it for a couple of decades, NOT STOPPING, and denying it over and over.

      That, once he’s caught, he doesn’t continue denying…he gets points for that?

      Sorry, tired of giving men too much credit for not being the worst asshole possible.

    • MissNomer

      He did not say he was sorry. That whole statement is nothing but self-serving excuses. This says it better than I can: http://www.slate.com/blogs/xx_factor/2017/11/10/louis_c_k_s_masturbation_statement_unnervingly_misunderstands_the_concept.html

  • Xcalicoco

    This is good, to get more specific than #metoo. Explicit is more embarrassing. Try asking how many women have experienced men, total strangers, saying disgusting things to them in public and disappearing in the crowd. I’ve seen it in the subway. I cussed him out as he vanished like a cockroach.

    • theCryptofishist

      I think “me, too” is a good start. I don’t think we have to give full details to everyone who reads a fb feed. I think that seeing the breadth of a problems is as important as seeing the details, but no one has time for all the details. Alas. That’s fucked up, but it is true.

  • Panika MCD

    why, oh, why does anyone think masturbating in front of another person is a good idea? if someone were occupying the same room as them and no one else was around and they were interested in having sex with them, one would think masturbation would not be necessary under that circumstance.

    • Lefty Wright

      That’s what is really puzzling. Why would that even be a thing? Does anyone think because you did not actually touch a woman, just masturbated in front of them, it’s not sexual assault? And how could it be exciting?

    • UnsaltedSinner

      As Billy Connolly used to say, masturbation is hardly a spectator sport. Why these guys have the impression that anyone wants to see them do that is baffling to me. They must have a very high opinion of the beauty of their penis.

      • SeekingCovfefeBarbie

        They don’t think anyone wants to see them do it; they get a power rush off of forcing someone to see it.

        • Roadstergal

          Exactly this. They KNOW nobody wants to see them do it. That’s why making someone see it is such a rush.

        • John Thorstensen

          Precisely. Anyone who does this is not exactly a big hit with the ladies in the first place.

        • Jukesgrrl

          Yes, the intent is to embarrass and humiliate the viewer.

    • Couples masturbate in front of each other commonly according to sex studies. I see nothing wrong with that even if it has no appeal to me personally. “Flashers” who jerk off in front of strangers in order to get a reaction are a whole different ball of whacks and are displaying an aberration. A criminal one.

    • SkinlessGenderlessMan

      I really appreciate it when my lass will do that for/with me, and I’ve been asked to do so also.

      I have had female friends who have invited men to masturbate while they were having sex with their husbands, and really enjoyed the experience

      Where it gets repulsive is when it’s one-sided, for ego, power or…. Can’t think of another reason. Ick.

    • Erala Contratista

      Yes! A most self focused and self centered activity may be lovely for that person, but it is absurd to the viewer.
      Unless you are researching sexual behavior.

  • House0fTheBlueLights

    I spent the day at the Art Institute of Chicago, and realized that all of western art history (and therefore history), from the Greeks on down (snort) is one long (snort) male justification for rape.

    • House0fTheBlueLights
      • John Thorstensen

        I think Wonkette used a picture of Hillary holding a severed head of Trump a while back, but unlike Kathy Griffin they had the good sense to adapt it from Foyn Ahrt of some kind.

        • House0fTheBlueLights

          Yeah, but the ones like Wonkette used-painted by men-are very very tame as compared to the Gentileschi (above), clearly her revenge fantasy for her own rape.

    • Husband Of Mrs God

      I see what you mean. Manipulated/indoctrinated consent.

      • House0fTheBlueLights

        And more, indoctrinating anyone who came after. Oh-Salome wanted John the Baptist’s head not because he raped her, or because she was manipulated into it by her rape at the hands of her father, but because she’s a bloodthirsty whore with political aspirations–as a message to women down the ages.

  • Tetman Callis

    Intentionally touching someone who doesn’t want to be touched — even just touching their clothing — is always against the law in the United States. It’s called battery. It could be a civil offense or it could be a criminal offense, depending. But it’s always against the law and it’s always wrong. So don’t do it. It’s that simple. How is it kids are getting past the age of twelve not knowing this? It’s not new law.

    • Husband Of Mrs God

      Partly because protagonists in popular culture can get a little rough?

    • John Thorstensen

      I’m struck by your avatar, which I’ve shown in every intro astrophysics class I’ve taught in the last decade or so. I think it’s Nigel Sharp’s colorized version of an echelle spectrum of the sun — lookit all them spectral lines!

  • Alternative Dog

    I have not read the comments on this thread so I may be repeating a common sentiment but I want to say a couple things. First, thank you for writing this Robyn. It’s a powerful message, it’s advice that’s right on the money, and it gives me hope.

    Second, as one of the clueless men who didn’t know how bad this situation was, I am immensely grateful to the courageous women who have spoken out to make this front page news. Especially those who have been speaking out for years despite the backlash. You are all heroes.

    • Husband Of Mrs God

      What he said, right on.
      I was slow to understand, but the evidence keeps piling up, that advances without consent are very traumatic. (One effect in history was that male lawmakers imposed death penalty for rape convictions. I think this was because of victims in their families, suffering the effects. I realize there are other reasons.)
      Then there’s the other physical violence, and I have always understood that.

    • phoenix00

      Both the ones speaking out for years and ones who kept it to themselves thinking noone would listen or take them seriously.

  • SkinlessGenderlessMan

    One of my personal rules of etiquette over my somewhat naughty history: dick pics by request only. Not “I think she would like this”, not “she asked last time, so I’ll just send this turkey-neck”….

    Only when explicitly asked or discussed and consented to. Period.

    I mean, seriously, guys, are any penis photos attractive enough to send without sensual or emotional context??

    • atlantaloves

      No, just stop sending pictures of your weenie, no real woman is interested.

      • I don’t think there’s anything wrong with a woman wanting to see a guy’s penis. I don’t happen to be one of those women, but I say to each their own.

      • SkinlessGenderlessMan

        When in a relationship with a surreal woman who wants explicit photos, she gets what she wants. I personally don’t think explicit male genitalia are attractive, but to the beholder goes the preference.

        • Tim Terrell

          “Surreal Woman”?

          • John Thorstensen

            Apparently Mr. Skinless has relationships with surreal women. You might call them Dali-ences.

          • SkinlessGenderlessMan

            As opposed to “real woman”. The woman can’t be the mathematical opposite, as she is not “imaginary”, so she may be the aesthetic opposite, e.g. “surreal”.

            If this explanation makes sense to you I’d like to take this opportunity to thank whatever spirits you’re enjoying….

        • Roadstergal

          There are some fine peens out there. I enjoy looking at them in a consenting and requested context.

    • John Thorstensen

      The ONLY person I’d even THINK of sending a dik pic to is my urologist.

      • SkinlessGenderlessMan

        I fully support you in this! Your preference deserves respect, and I’d never think to suggest otherwise.

  • William

    Republicans don’t care. (as long as you’re a star and have tic tacs) https://youtu.be/tyhXSDeU_Oc

  • Husband Of Mrs God

    I have had to think hard recently, about the importance of consent. Although we are not as monogamist as some species that mate for life, our consent to the chosen partner is important to positive genetic selection.
    Personalities vary and these decisions are not perfect. Respect requires caution, attention, and awareness.

    • Husband Of Mrs God

      It has taken me a ~long~ time to grow up.

      • John Thorstensen

        But you did!

  • meanlawyermom

    I love this and hope a tide is turning.

  • docterry6973

    Remember, Trump grabbed his daughter’s ass live in prime time at the GOP convention. Every Republican to this day will deny he ever abused anyone.

  • atlantaloves

    Every single woman I know has been through this, including myself. Put these pig people IN JAIL! 🐽 Great article, thank you, I needed that today.

  • persistently_resistant_gayby

    I cannot wait for more assholes to be unearthed and exposed.

    All of these women coming forward are the most bravest women on earth – it shouldn’t have to be like that, but society has made it so.

    And yes, this is the year women have no fucks to give.

    • “Bravest women on earth” may be a bit hyperbolic. 😊 I say this as a woman who has never let herself be defined by what men do, or don’t do.

      • persistently_resistant_gayby

        That’s true – don’t let us assholes define you! You do you! :)

    • John Thorstensen

      “I cannot wait for more assholes to be unearthed and exposed.:

      They should expose themselves! Oh, wait, that came out WAY wrong … !

      • guest1331now

        Chuckle chuckle.

        • John Thorstensen

          Lame jokes ‘R’ us!

          In my defense, I am an actual Dad.

  • I don’t actually have a problem seeing penises.It’s men trying to exert power over those whom they perceive as weaker or less-than that gets me extremely rageful.

    • John Thorstensen

      It’s all a matter of time, place, and power relationships. And, that said, it’s really not that complicated.

      • Penises are not about power. Frail psyches are all about (trying to establish) power. I don’t blame the peen. I blame the person.

        • John Thorstensen

          A-yup.

    • Erala Contratista

      For some reason, “Lily waving” seems hilarious.
      If a dog shows submission by exposing it’s throat and belly, what does that tell us of a man who wags his most vulnerable part as a “weapon”?
      Still makes me laugh.

  • Iam Reading

    About fucking time.

  • Ms.MLG on Maui

    I want to say there are many ways people abuse each other, and not all of them are sexual, or even physical in any way. Verbal/emotional abuse are every single bit as painful and damaging as any other kind of abuse. All these abuses are cut from the same cloth. If you are a person who has suffered emotional abuse, please know your experience is just as valid as the experiences of victims whose abuse was carried out in physical ways. Your experience is not small. Your experience is not less deserving of sympathy or support. Emotional abuse is ABUSE.

    • CovfefeOfTheThoughtlessMind

      Damn straight.

  • Pierre_de_Fermat

    Katherine Timpf at National Review

    “If You Refuse to Condemn Predators because of Politics, You’re Disgusting”

    http://www.nationalreview.com/article/453632/roy-moore-defenders-disgusting

    I think Robyn is right: we’re going to see more of this. Like a dam collapsing.

  • freedomisthejungle

    And men dont want to see your low cut Décolletage and nips. Button up and stop dressing like a sex worker.

    • John Thorstensen

      What, may I ask, is your gender?

      • Jay Hansen

        It’s unlisted.

    • Walter Wellstone

      I do. I want to see all that. I just don’t force myself on women because I’m not a fucking moron.

    • Royal Ugly Dude

      Are you here because Reddit shut down your little incel clubhouse?

    • phoenix00

      Well YOU keep YOUR hands to yourself. Deal?

    • persistently_resistant_gayby

      FUCK OFF PRICK.

      • John Q Public

        FUCK OFF FAG

        • John Thorstensen

          Pro tip: Out gay people are not insulted to be called “fag”, as far as I can tell; they just conclude (correctly, I might add) that their interlocutor is an asshole.

        • Kurt Weil

          Is 4chan down or something?

        • persistently_resistant_gayby

          This moron thinks I’m offended by some insecure widdle douchenozzle calling me a fag….

          Believe me, cunt – feminists will still be here to clean up filth like you.

    • The Librarian

      Please feel free to crawl back into whatever hole you crawled out of. Then you don’t have to see anything.

    • John Q Public

      Right on!

  • Walter Wellstone

    Any shit-fer-brains coming out to complain how this yet another plot by Stacey and all other femoids to let Chad and Tyrone fuck them while the poor incels have to make do with YouPorn?

    • Walter Wellstone

      Never mind. There’s one right below this message.

  • dshwa

    I strayed across the line with a woman once. Misread the situation, and I stopped as soon as I realized I had, that what I thought was innocent goofing off (involving my cold feet straying to my friend’s side off the bed) wasn’t being seen in the same light. I stopped and apologized profusely once I realized, and again the next day. I’ve felt guilty since, and sworn to never make that mistake again. I’m still embarassed to admit it, even anonymously to strangers, though I feel it’s important to stand up and admit it. Always felt like apologizing wasn’t enough, though I don’t know what would be.

    So to any guys reading this, remember that even something you see as innocent horseplay can be seen as very different to the other person, and respond accordingly when told to stop. And to all the ladies, I reaffirm my vow to always be aware that my actions may not be received as intended, to always try to be sure where your boundaries for me are, and to always stop immediately when told if I misjudged them.

    • John Q Public

      Man card revoked…fucking fag

  • guest1331now

    Is it OK to find Louis CK’s honesty — “Yes, I did those things, and it is wrong” — a bit refreshing if not exculpatory, especially next to the responses of Weinstein and Spacey — and Moore’s ‘if I did it I don’t remember it but it’s not really like me…’

    • John Thorstensen

      Well, I think it’s OK. Then again, I’ve never had anything remotely like this happen to me, so I may be more forgiving than some.

    • phoenix00

      It’s certainly part of the healing process.

    • Petunia Cat

      It’s absurd. It’s not part of the healing process, these people are psychopaths they don’t “heal”. CK talked about his supposedly uncontrollable masturbating in his comedy apparently. All of this is part of his kink. He’s aroused by violating peoples boundaries. Including not wanting to hear about someone’s intimate physical activities. When he acknowledges it he’s just doing more of it.

      I’m with Robyn. They should just go away. The going away is more important than the Talking About It™.

      Most important thing to know about perverts is they are perverted. They are not normal. They are not on some spectrum with other people who are normal.

      • Mike Steele

        100% THAT. Unlike MSM, fawning over Louis’ supposed epiphany, Lady MS found his letter merely a continuation of the schtick he’s been peddling for years. Indeed, the victims were suffering because they ADMIRED him too much (he used that word repeatedly) – and, that isn’t really ‘who he is’. Bushwa. Maya Angelou said it best, when she suggested that, if someone SHOWS you who they are, believe them!

    • Manders

      It was certainly a *smarter* statement than any of the others we’ve heard. I don’t know that I believe he means it, and even he didn’t use the words “sorry” or “apologize” anywhere in there.

      • jackie jones

        I am conflicted on his apology. In one hand, can you imagine a politician saying that? On the other hand, he has nothing to lose, really…so…

    • sgt. jmk of the résistance

      It was better than most such statements – no victim-blaming… no “if I offended anyone, I’m sorry” non-apology. It seemed sincere and that he understood at least the outlines of the issues and the damage that he did.

      However, for someone whose comedy requires intelligence and insight to claim that until this moment, he didn’t understand about boundaries or how power works is self-exculpatory bullshit. To claim – after trying to cover up his creepiness – that he didn’t know it was wrong is bullshit. To diminish the abusiveness of what he did by saying that the real problem was not that it was abusive but that he put those women in something of a pickle because of power issues he didn’t fully understand is just bullshit. For him not to say “I am sorry” is utter, utter bullshit. He’s still deflecting.

      At least his statement takes responsibility… but it ALSO displays the same assumption of privilege that enabled him to do this…an assumption that he has apparently not examined at all.

  • Teh_V

    “She’s just faking being asleep so she doesn’t HAVE to fuck me”
    Dear Men,
    WOMEN. DON’T. OWE. YOU. SHIT.

  • joejimtree

    Next in line? Celebrity chefs. An industry with rampant abuse of staff. One which is represented on popular television by chefs who fly into tantrums, curse, berates and throws things at cooks. And as Fonda said after Weinstein was named, what about the waitresses? I’d add waiters. How many times I’ve been fondled and tormented by both men and women when I’ve worked in that profession. Sure, customers in fancy restaurants are only amateurs in the sexual power game, but these are venues where all kinds of people try it out for fun. There is a lot of house cleaning to be done outside of the world of celebrities.

  • Tim Terrell

    Someone pointed out that the people who were exposed have all had their heyday in Hollywood when the were taken down. Bill Cosby and Harvey Weinstein weren’t exposed at the apex of their power or making hundreds of millions for others when this all came out. They opined that the sexual abusers who are the most powerful in hollywood at the moment will not be exposed while they are making millions and billions for studios and other powerful people.

    • ibwilliamsi

      Balderdash – Cosby was on the brink of another television series worth millions, and Weinstein was still head of one of the most productive studios in Hollywood.

  • KittyHillz

    Time to pony-up pussy grabbers.
    Tic..Tock…Tic…Tock
    Thank you for writing this – spot fucking on.

  • Judy

    Weinstein, Spacey, Sheen… Whothefuckever.

    Nobody did sweet fuck all because they were found out. They have been found out for decades. Denise Richards went from 0-1,000 and when Sheen was legally banned from having any contact at all with those boys, I knew what he’d done even back then. You can rest in peace, Corey Haim. I stand with Feldman on this.

    Nobody did a fucking thing because they all knew and they were all there and when Money Talks, Morality Walks.

    Nobody did anything until WE found out and they know if they did nothing, they would lose the very people who made them all of that money to begin with. Cinema tickets, merchandise, conventions, eBay auctions and everything else would be in jeopardy. When Morality Walks, Fans Talk and bye bye money.

    Sure, there’s plenty of people who don’t care and would see a movie regardless, but they wouldn’t buy what the movie fans do. They wouldn’t spend ten quid/dollars on each Funko Pop for a movie, pay upwards of thirty quid/dollars on an autograph, with hotel stay, travel and convention entry on top of that.

    Movie stars make eye watering amounts of money from us and if they were to do nothing after all of us willing-to-pay fans found out they protected a known sex abuser? That money would go from billions to just mere millions.

    Weinstein et all had been found out for years and nothing, then WE found out and shit hit the fan.

  • Molon Labe

    Et tu, Sulu?

  • John Q Public

    LMFAO!! You think people that committed any of these acts would take the time to read your article? GTFO! Your fake outrage, fake courage, shaking your little girly fists in the air temper tantrums are meaningless. Just like those lying whores who claimed Trump raped them. Where the fuck are they now?? Let’s face it. Women lie about these things in many cases, because it is the only thing their feeble souls can do to try and take away from them what women could never earn on their own. Look Jemma Beale, the stereotypical looking nasty feminazi cunt. She accused 9 men of rape and not one accusation was real. It’s bitches like her that fake victimhood and rob real victims of so much more than the rapists…smdh. As Trump says “SAD!” Obviously we know that this stuff really happens and it should be dealt with accordingly, but women do it too! Look at the sex cults in Hollywood that are controlled by women! Women abuse power too. Just look at Hillacunt. Can’t even rig an election right and you bitches expected her to run this country? HAHAHAHA, GTFO! Here’s a tip, if you bitches want men to stop paying attention to you then dress like Hildabeast (aka Hillary Clinton…got to spell everything out so your little brains can comprehend) instead of hypocritical whores and your problems are over! Face reality, if you flaunt your body you deserve every bit of attention that you attract. Cause….and effect….pretty fucking simple concept girls…..right, you don’t know what that means…google it. Let’s all face facts here. Feminazis just like BLM shitbags all want the same thing and it’s not equality, it’s supremacy. You sad little bitches feel that you have been wronged for so long that it’s time for men to suffer what you think you have and more…and that is why society ignores you and why you will fail. I will just continue to watch and take great joy in seeing it happen. :)

    • John Thorstensen

      Thanks! My bingo card is full!

    • Kurt Weil

      *snaps wet towel at his ass* AIN’T IT FUN BEING A BOY!

      • John Thorstensen

        ” ‘Locker Room Towel Fight: The Blinding of Larry Driscoll.’

        You know, I was one of the first to speak out against horseplay.”

    • persistently_resistant_gayby

      This is what the inadequacy of penis looks like.

      Don’t worry – if you check your spam folder, you might find plenty to remedy your micropenis!

    • TundraGrifter

      Somebody decided Doc’s “Dear Shit for Brains” needed new material. A tool. A fool. And so uncool.

    • Dept. of Space Tacos

      Yeah, I didn’t take the time to read your comment. The derp was pretty obvious from the get go.

      https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/38bd1b8530ca8cf56911ec26ab3f676ebdf9fd4a5d8251628e5a905c74c16639.jpg

    • SCK

      Well, you’re an asshole.

      • Jay Hansen

        That too.

    • Jay Hansen

      John Q. Pubic. Pubic Enema Number One. The biggest douche on Wonkette.

  • Mary

    John Q. Public your impotence is showing.

    • Jay Hansen

      But you’ll need a microscope.

  • Dejah

    Considering HOW MANY men have shown me a penis I DIDN’T ask to see:

    There will be NO MEN in business ANYWHERE if they follow this prescription.

    Therefore: What’s suggested in this article WON’T HAPPEN.

    How about instead of taking away their careers because they are assholes, we criminally prosecute the criminal ones WHEN they do criminal things, we don’t ignore or persecute victims when we can’t prosecute, and we stop acting like normal humans aren’t a mixture of good and bad and normal people don’t sometimes abuse power but they can still remain mostly decent humans. It’s the egregious bad actors who need to lose it all.

    Asssholiness is inherent to the human condition. Abuse of power is inherent to use of power. It takes superhuman control not to abuse power. Give a person power, eventually, that person will abuse it.

    Somewhere. Somehow. No person is perfect. We are not gods.

    • Lily412

      I think that Joe Schmoe, the guy who grabbed the ass of the company receptionist, will have no issues being employed again after his actions. Just because these celebrity cases are publicized more, doesn’t mean it’s the norm. And the whole reason WHY we make a big deal about these public cases is because we’re all hoping and praying that the proper societal and cultural attitudes change that will dramatically reduce this kind of sexual misconduct. The goal (to me) isn’t “make these celebrities pay for past conduct with their JOBS!” It’s just a side effect of ladies going “Hey, you guys, this happens like all the time. Can we do something about it yet?” That way, when Joe Schmoe goes to grab himself another ass, that person goes, “Wait. This isn’t okay. I should say something.” And maybe Joe’s sons will know that shit isn’t okay, and grab no asses at all!

  • Thomas Craig

    That’s a desperate plea because you know what’s coming: these claims will soon be dismissed out of hand as people get sick of hearing them. It’s already happening. The more recent ones are met with jokes mixed in with the faux horror. And as the definition of “assault” is watered down to include things which are obviously not assault (which is also happening) so too are future claims watered down and easily laughed off. And all you’re going to accomplish is desensitizing people to TRUE victims of sexual assault and harassment. Nice job.

    • TundraGrifter

      I see your point! Instead of people (women and men) being afraid to come forward because their claims will be dismissed out of hand and mocked, some people will go to far. That means the rest of us will have to exercise some critical thinking skills.

      To follow your pathetic “logic,” when Strange Fruit was hanging from the trees and telephone poles and railroad bridges in the American South, nobody should have “said” anything about it.

      • ibwilliamsi

        To be fair, most people didn’t say anything about the strange fruit at the time.

        • TundraGrifter

          Oh yes they did! That’s the point.

    • Kurt Weil

      You better clean the basement or mom will take away your Xbox.

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      Roy Moore wuz framed!

    • ibwilliamsi

      We have recording devices and we’re not afraid to use them. Bye, Felicia.

    • Suthrnboy

      Is that this morning’s talking point on Sexual-Assault-R-Us, otherwise known as FoxNews, cuz it sure sounds like ‘meth logic’ to me?

    • Carole

      You set up a new Disqus account just to say that?

    • Erala Contratista

      Well, boy, here to tell you that I’m hearing a lot of men who would dismiss this business as being a bunch of hysterical women and wonder why the ladies can’t just shrug it off…..only difference is these old timers are angry and upset. And not because women are whiny. They are hearing it from their family members, from friends coming out with their experiences and those old timers are angry.
      At the perps and at the scale and duration of the problem.
      It would seem things are changing.

    • sgt. jmk of the résistance

      I’ve encountered folks like you before – the MRAsshats who tell me what TRUE feminists would think, the Christians who opine about what TRUE atheists would say – and strangely enough, your prescriptions all boil down to “so be quiet.”

      Nope. No longer, cupcake. Impunity is over.

    • davej1s

      Uh, incorrect. Would you care to try again?

    • Mike McGettigan

      Thomas Craig: even a non-genius like myself can recognize a galactically stupider mind – such as yours. Please have all your posts read/edited/probably deleted by at least two women before you press “send”, and stop further embarrassing the male race which already has a big enough dang pie all over their face at the moment thank you very much.

    • Jennaratrix

      I’m curious; what do you consider “things which are obviously not assault?” Because I strongly suspect that those things ARE assault, and you just don’t want to label them as such because you’ve done them.

  • Boojum
  • Rev. Samuel

    The important question is where is Ted Nugent’s opinion on all of this? Where is the sage of the NRA to explain to us this latest crisis?

  • The Owl Guy

    What’s Bill The Rapist Klinton’s response? Does he still get a free pass?

    • pheeze

      Did she stutter?

  • Freida Peeple

    Here’s my idea : Take all these pervs put them in a room together where they’ll strip naked and jerk off in front of each other. One of two things will happen. Either they will realize how truly disgusting this is and never do it again or they might decide “Wow this is much more fun than forcing women to watch against their will.”

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