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I’m back, Wonkers! I swear I didn’t get arrested, or super drunk, or find myself unable to retrieve unmentionables from my unmentionables. Anywho, here’s some of the things we may be talking about today — besides the Wonkette Party in Salt Lake City tonight, which the editrix says I have to remind you of.

Now that his memory has been jogged by endless media coverage of Cart Page’s hilarious fuckups, Corey Lewandowski suddenly remembers Carter Page asking to fuck off to Russia last summer.

Investigators looking into Russian fuckery during the 2016 elections are now poking around the proposed changes to the RNC platform that Paul Manafort wanted last year.

A new report by the nonpartisan Congressional Budget Office (CBO) says that killing the ACA mandate would save $338 million Ameros — by leaving 13 million people without health insurance.

After witnessing their brutal beatdown in local elections Tuesday, Republicans up for reelection in 2018 are running scared of the Trump/Ryan tax cuts (for the super rich only).

As they continue to hemorrhage votes, Paul Ryan and Republicans are desperately trying to keep the Trump/Ryan tax cuts (for the super rich) from falling flat on its face.

The rumor mill around 1600 Penn. is that Trump may release his Middle East peace plan next week, but nobody is holding their breath as “the next two weeks” is Trump’s favorite dodge.

Congress is trying to ram through changes to the Thrift Savings Plan because a minority of government and military retirees are butthurt about Uncle Sam telling them what to do with their government savings accounts.

People are caught between a rock and a hard place in opposing the merger between CNN and Time-Warner, because it would create a massive media conglomerate, and could be perceived as siding with Trump.

Sen. John McCain says that he won’t support the nomination of Steven Engel to lead the Justice Department’s Office of Legal Counsel because of Engel’s involvement in the 2007 torture memo enhanced interrogation memo. (Torture is the one thing John McCain’s been right about from the beginning, having actually experienced it.)

Late last night, the Senate Foreign Relations Committee sent out a press release saying that Sen. Bob Corker will convene a hearing on Trump’s ability to trigger a nuclear holocaust. It certainly looks like Bob Corker is…UNCHAINED!

In the wake of their hilariously obscene losses across the country, Republicans are playing the blame game.

FEMA is FINALLY airlifting people out of Puerto Rico. It’s been two months since Hurricane Maria made landfall, and they still don’t have water or power.

John Kelly’s former aide Kirstjen Nielsen brushed the chips off of the shoulders of skeptical Senators, making all but certain she will be your new head of Homeland Security.

On his way out the door, IRS chief John Koskinen is slamming Congress, stating, “I want people to understand that there are ramifications to, in fact, underfunding the [the IRS]. If the agency fails and people are looking for fault, it will be the fault of the Congress…I am blaming Congress.

A new lawsuit is alleging that Oklahoma is creating debtors prisons through a cozy relationship between the Oklahoma Sheriff’s Association and a court collection agency, Aberdeen Enterprizes II.

While in China, Trump thought it was a good idea to insult the United States, praise China, and blame everything on Obama (again). At least he didn’t set anything on fire this time.

Trump and Putin are reportedly set to meet in Vietnam Friday at the Asia Pacific Economic Cooperation (APEC) conference, but REXXON says that meeting is still “under consideration” because they need to decide if there’s anything of “sufficient substance” to talk about. (We suggest BOUNCY RUSSIAN BABIES, and also jail.)

UK Prime Minister Theresa May is having a bad week after losing two cabinet ministers — the second coming just last night after International Development Secretary and pro-Brexit douchenozzle Priti Patel “You’re Fired” herself over a scandal with Israeli officials.

A German court has ruled that binary genders are a violation of a person’s privacy, forcing politicians to decide to create a third gender category for official documents, or to destroy them entirely.

Facebook’s founding president (the other, other, other guy Zuckerberg screwed) Sean Parker says that Facebook is eating all of our brain meat.

A big defense contractor has been given many Ameros to build lasers for fighter jets to shoot anti-aircraft missiles out of the sky. It’s not phasers and photon torpedoes, but it’s a start.

NASA has given a couple of bucks to some people to think up a way to build the Deep Space Gateway, a space base orbiting the moon that would be used to launch missions to other Not American planets.

In case you missed it, on Tuesday Fort Collins, Colorado, voted to give city officials the power to create a municipal broadband system, a big slap in the face to Comcast, Verizon, and AT&T.

The Pope wants you to stop staring at your phone, telling a crowd, “The Mass is not a show…so remember, no cell phones,” as they all tried to capture his soul with their camera phones.

Tea Party wackjob Steve Scalise posted a video on Twitter of him challenging Texas Rep. Sam Johnson to an electric scooter race around the Capital. It’s a battle of the Rascals.

Seb Gorka has been hired by Fox News to convince ignorant olds in Middle America that Hillary’s black Muslim Antifa super soldiers are coming to take their daughters and guns.

Fox’s funny money mouthpiece, Maria Bartiromo, lost her shit during an interview with DNC chair Tom Perez, and it is delightful.

Former President Steve Bannon went on Hannity’s pity party to whine about Mitch McConnell (again) after Democrats beat the shit-stained pants off Republicans on Tuesday.

OH MY CROM! Is InfoWars PLAGIARIZING Russian state-news service RT? Do we need to add “plagiarist” and “thief” to Alex Jones’s resume?

During last night’s Country Music Awards, some country music people started saying mean things about Donald Trump. Y’all-Qaeda strikes again!

Here’s your favorite prez-nit, B. Barry Bamz, reporting for jury duty in the post-apocalyptic hell hole known as Chicago.

And here’s your late night wrap-up! Stephen Colbert noticed Trump doesn’t know which Not American country he’s in; James Corden had some thoughts on the election; Seth Meyers took A Closer Look at Democrats’ big day; The Daily Show found Ed Gillespie’s most successful run this year; Jordan Klepper had a white affirmation and welcomed Donna Brazile; Conan O’Brien had some talky time with Bill Clinton; Samantha Bee is just as fucking tired of reporting on mass shootings as we are (and we love her for this one), and then had some talky time with New York AG Eric Schneiderman.

And here’s your morning Nice Time! A baby Tapir!

Freedom isn’t free, but Yr Wonkette is! Throw us some Ameros so things stay that way!

Did you know you can tweet cute critters at Dominic.

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  • laughingnome

    So how is this not Trump’s apology tour?

    • TundraGrifter

      Every time he leaves the country America has to apologize for him?

    • Weird Fishes

      It will be when he finally meets up with Putin.

      Or as he likes to call him, “Daddy.”

      • Oblios_Cap

        In Vietnam. Ironic, in a sad sort of way.

  • Mr. Blobfish

    I don’t blame. Chynuh.

    • laughingnome

      Yeah, it’s Bijou’s fault.

  • Nounverb911
    • SeeTrain65

      “I ain’t sayin’ God stole my joke, but …” ; )

  • Weird Fishes

    “The next two weeks” is his second favorite, after “the check’s in the mail.”

    • BadKitty904

      Also “Trust me.

      • Weird Fishes

        Ooohhhhh… yes

  • Put On Your War Paint!
  • Nounverb911
    • TundraGrifter

      Is James Bond booked into a Trump Hotel?

  • TundraGrifter

    “OH MY CROM! Is InfoWars PLAGIARIZING Russian state-news service RT? Do we need to add “plagiarist” and “thief” to Alex Jones’s resume?”

    Isn’t that pretty much what The Sludge Retort has been doing for years? Isn’t this was every “news aggregator” does – sip the cream from the top of each milk bottle and then take credit for it?

  • Put On Your War Paint!
  • OneYieldRegular

    The Pope wants you to stop staring at your phone, telling a crowd, “The Mass is not a show…so remember, no cell phones,”

    The Mass is not a show?? I don’t know who the hell this guy is, but has he ever even seen the Vatican?

  • Major_Major_Major

    I’m just gonna mention that it is a WEEEEEE teeny bit suspicious that you are claiming you didn’t have unmentionables stuck in your unmentionables.

    • BadKitty904

      The guilty flee where none pursue.” Just sayin’…

  • BadKitty904

    I swear I didn’t get…” Mmm. Hmm.

  • Gee, Your Hair Smells Horrific

    “He was just a campaign volunteer.”
    “Well, so was the campaign chairman.”
    “OH MY GOD BLACK NFL PLAYERS KNEELING WHY DO THEY HATE OUR SOLDIERS???”

  • Weird Fishes

    (Torture is the one thing John McCain’s been right about from the beginning, having actually experienced it.)

    I’ve been watching the Ken Burns’ Vietnam series. Yesterday I watched the episode where they interviewed John McCain in the hospital after the Vietnamese had pulled him out of the water. I hate Trump more than ever now.

    Bone. Spurs. Donnie, you bitch.
    Read more at https://wonkette.com/625548/trump-to-china-obama-did-it-wonkagenda-for-thurs-nov-9-2017#hHRU3daOA71dlIkY.99

  • Phoenixdoglover

    “A new report by the nonpartisan Congressional Budget Office (CBO) says that killing the ACA mandate would save $338 million Ameros — by leaving 13 million people without health insurance.”

    That’s right, the marginal cost of providing health insurance to 13 million people is $26 per year per person.

    • Stulexington

      But the rich need those ameros, I mean do you know how much it’s gonna cost to reroof their McMansion this year?

    • puredog

      MATH IS HARD!

    • jenny_whyme

      Does that leave out the part where all the costs go up when those 13 million people get sick and go to the emergency room? #askingforafriend

    • Rags

      Err – the CBO said 338 billion…..
      https://www.cbo.gov/taxonomy/term/45/latest

      • Phoenixdoglover

        OK. Per report, $338 billion over 10 years. That actually sounds more reasonable, at $2,600 per person per year for those 13 million people.

        Presumably the cost burden is shared and the marginal cost to the Government (taxpayers) is an average subsidy.

        • Rags

          And since the average cost of health Care is about 10K per capita, this makes the ACA a hella bargain

  • Gayer Than Thou

    Basically, tapirs are a first draft of elephants.

    • therblig

      then god went all in on pachyderms and tapired off.

      • Weird Fishes

        Oh, ding ding ding

    • Beanz&Berryz

      With spots

      • Gayer Than Thou

        Like if Bambi and Dumbo got freaky in their trailers during some downtime between takes.

        • Beanz&Berryz

          Exactly. And. Elephants don’t have small hands, like some people do.

    • Rags

      Hey – you okapied therblig! Tusk,tusk.

  • goonemeritus

    How much longer can America survive this failing Clinton administration?

    • therblig

      if only we had all voted for jill stein.

      • Oblios_Cap

        Sanders woulda won if Hillary hadn’t rigged the primaries!

        • goonemeritus

          And if more people voted for him.

          • Oblios_Cap

            Well, yes. That, too.

      • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

        I should have just voted for Putin and cut out these stupid middle men.

      • SeeTrain65

        If only Giant Meteor had won …

  • Stulexington

    “In the wake of their hilariously obscene losses across the country, Republicans are playing the blame game.” Ooooh ooooh, when do we get to tell them why they lost?

    • laughingnome

      Maybe they should start interviewing the economically anxious anti-Trump voters

      • House0fTheBlueLights

        Can’t have too much of that!

    • Gayer Than Thou

      I was just reading this morning about how Democrats have no message that voters want to hear. I love those articles – so informative and encouraging!

      • Stulexington

        Pointing at Republicans and saying “we’re not them” seems to be working fine.

        • h4rr4r

          It only works for a short time.

          Not being Dubya did not win an election, either.

          However we can have easy messages. Simply “We are grownups”

          • Stulexington

            “we don’t want you to die.”

          • Gayer Than Thou

            The weird thing about all of these articles is they all say some version of “Democrats aren’t talking about the issues.” And I aim like “But aren’t they? Maybe if you were talking to people other than Donna Brazile and Bernie and that guy in the newsroom who likes to take an iconoclastic position on everything but calls himself a progressive, maybe you’d have more to work with?”

          • Stulexington

            Sounds like they need to be reminded daily that Bernie isn’t a Democrat.

        • goonemeritus

          We didn’t sleep through math class?

      • Covfefe’s Evil Twin

        Chris Cilizza strikes again!

    • Duke

      The election was so bad that FOX is ignoring it. I check the website to know my enemy and even yesterday, immediately after the election, there were no articles on their front page.

      They were leading with a story about the execution of an Mexican illegal who had raped and murdered a teenager. They’re sweet people at FOX.

  • TheGrandWazoo2
  • Ezio

    Morning rant because I need to get this off my chest: I understand the government corruption, but I am getting irritated when I see a lot of people online on other news sites make snide comments like “dirty Russians” when some articles bring up the U.S. election being hacked. Like, can we NOT do that? You’ve got people out here acting like we’re still in the Cold War.

    It’s the same thing with when people condemn Russia as a whole for discrimination against LGBT people there, as if the victims themselves in that case are not Russian themselves. Just felt like that needed saying.

    • Put On Your War Paint!

      Well Said, Hun. I have never hated the Russian *people*, even growing up in the late Cold War I knew the average citizen was a victim, not my enemy.

      In the end, the Gangsters currently running Russia are not much different than the Gangsters and Traitors running our country.

    • Oblios_Cap

      Sure, Boris. что бы вы ни сказали.

  • Oblios_Cap

    The rumor mill around 1600 Penn. is that Trump may release his Middle East peace plan next week

    How can this be? I thought that Jared had solved all of the problems that were derailing the middle East peace process.

    • Indeniable Ron

      I helped arrange that purge in Saudi Arabia. Was that not what you meant?
      – Jared ‘the REAL Donald Trump Jr’ Kushner

  • BadKitty904

    In re: this week’s Dem asskickery – I only hope liberals don’t get too cocky:

    a.) it’s VERY early day yet;
    b.) the Republicans have stolen elections before and are now MUCH more inclined to do so again.

    • Gayer Than Thou
    • Blackest Noobs

      they can’t fuck it up if we show up.
      they even tried to confuse voters by telling them polling place is closed.
      be inform, be in the now, and show up.

      Va, NJ, and all those mayoral elections proved that.

      JUST. SHOW. UP. &. VOTE.

      even if you think it’s a sure thing.

      SHOW UP. VOTE.

      • BadKitty904

        Saving America can be just that easy. SHOW. UP. AND. VOTE.

    • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

      If only my Dem ass were so cocky.

  • therblig

    “The Mass is not a show…so remember, no cell phones, but, if you must, at least hold the damn things horizontally – God hates vertical videos”

  • Gayer Than Thou

    Hannity’s Pity Party sounds like a less fun but even more segregated version of the Corny Collins Show.

    https://thumbs.gfycat.com/WhimsicalGaseousEgret-max-1mb.gif

    • Mr. Blobfish

      Motormouth Maybelle liblez!

  • Nounverb911

    Well, this happened.
    Ridley Scott to reshoot all of Kevan Spacey’s scenes before premier next month.

    https://twitter.com/VanityFair/status/928628296098697216

    • Ryan Denniston

      Better choice anyway.

      • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

        Yeah, it’s weird that he already looks a little like Plummer in that make-up.

    • Oblios_Cap

      It’s beginning to sound like Mr. Spacey might be a bit of a Pedo Bear…

      • Nounverb911

        Trump’s next Secretary of Education?

        • Stulexington

          No child left behind.

          • Parakeetist

            HEY

    • Indeniable Ron

      So there’s a legitimate use for CGI after all!

    • LadyLaz

      Damn. I always love it when the GOP starts yelling about Dem assaulters. We kick ours OUT, you elect yours

  • Oblios_Cap

    UK Prime Minister Theresa May is having a bad week after losing two cabinet ministers

    And she still can’t get rid of Boris Johnson…

    • Parakeetist

      What is that thing on his head?

      • Oblios_Cap

        Trump’s hairpiece’s mate.

    • Sophie McMillan

      One can only assume he has some dirt on Maybot. Or, no one else will take the job whilst she is at the helm

  • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

    Still the best news roundup anywhere. Thanks, Dom.

  • Ryan Denniston

    No honor among thieves amirite?

    “Virginia voters didn’t reject Trump by electing Democrat Ralph Northam governor, they just didn’t like Republican Ed Gillespie’s pale imitation of Trump’s platform, Bannon said Wednesday night.”

    What a poseur? Hehehe!

    https://www.nbcnews.com/politics/elections/bannon-gillespie-s-loss-you-can-t-fake-trump-agenda-n819206

    • Stulexington

      That’s right Republicans, better double down on acting like Trump. Be like a double Trump!

      • Canned Covfefe

        A trumped up Trump?

      • Ms.Moon

        So we shall be importing Russian pee hookers then.

    • h4rr4r

      The Republicans have been operating on Ideological Purity tests for the last 20 years.

    • Phoenixdoglover
    • cmd resistor

      So, he wasn’t enough of an asshole?

      • jenny_whyme

        Either that or Bannon and Trump take responsibility for Gillespie’s defeat…

        Pick one.

    • jenny_whyme

      Funny these people forget about the video tape.. ’cause Bannon was saying on the Sunday before the election what a glorious Trumpkin Gillespie is and how excited Bannon’s was for his next celebratory meth party.

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    Makes me want to go buy a Brad Paisley record.

    • Mr. Blobfish

      Let’s not do anything rash.

    • Lance Thrustwell

      Songwise, he’s just a slick Music Row front man like the rest. But I have to admit he can play the guitar.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        That’s my thing with Vince Gill. Dude is a motherfucker on the guitar.

        • Oblios_Cap

          I’m more of a Dwight Yoakam fan. But he isn’t really a CMA kinda guy.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            Dwight’s great. He inherited the spirt of Buck Owens, one of my idols.

          • Oblios_Cap

            I saw him with Willie Nelson last year. He’s still plays a mean guitar.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            And he had Pete Anderson with him for all those years…another badass player.

          • SeeTrain65

            I’m not a fan, but people around here like to remind country music fans that Dwight Yoakum was raised in Columbus, Ohio, graduated from Northland High School and attended OSU for a time. And while he’s paid tribute to his roots, Bakersfield and Buck Owens are his main influences (and he can act up a storm, too, I hear).

        • grindstone

          Vince has that sweet high lonesome voice and a sense of humor about himself, so he gets a pass.

    • Weird Fishes

      Why don’t you lie down for a spell. It will pass.

  • Put On Your War Paint!

    Those airborne lasers? They are called SHIELD.

    “Self-protect High Energy Laser Demonstrator (SHiELD) program” http://www.popularmechanics.com/military/research/news/a28942/lockheed-martin-lasers-fighter-jets-shield/

    Anypony else get the feeling that Captain America: The Winter Soldier is coming true?

    • Indeniable Ron

      Even weapons developers can be comic book nerds, you know!

      • Put On Your War Paint!

        So it seems! :)

  • Lance Thrustwell

    “The Mass is not a show”, says the Pope as he performs mystical rituals on an ornate stage in front of thousands of onlookers.

    • Antonin Dvorak

      In an overly large hat.

      • Damian L

        While raking in cash.

    • Oblios_Cap

      While wearing a funny hat.

    • Weird Fishes

      Wearing what amounts to my (very Irish, very Catholic) grandmother’s housecoat.

      • nightmoth

        If women can’t be priests, why do priests wear dresses?

        • Weird Fishes

          Purity. And Jesus.

    • OneYieldRegular
      • Ms.Moon

        Coincidentally the Met Gala’s next theme is Religion in Fashion.

  • Oblios_Cap

    When you’ve lost the CMA, you’ve lost the country…

  • BadKitty904

    Because every day should start with Betty Hutton:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NZqoH6qLkSg

    • Kneeling Bozilingus

      Veterans Day is just around the corner.
      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pz7dZ9Q3K-E

    • Mpeg

      HOW have I never heard of this talented lady?? Annie Get Your Gun was this person? Here she does sound a lot like Judy Garland too.

      • BadKitty904

        She was QUITE the chanteuse in her day…

  • Nounverb911
    • rosenbomb

      She’s like “bitch, I’m famous.”

    • Indeniable Ron

      If she takes up parkour, people in Cinci will need to reinforce their roofs.

    • Kneeling Bozilingus

      Harambe, we hardly knew ye.

    • Alienist

      I know this may be picky, but I don’t think that was a back flip. It was more like a barrel roll. Still insanely cute.

  • Rick Hill

    Vote republican? Why, I hardly knew her.
    http://www.smbc-comics.com/comics/1508159624-20171016%20(1).png

  • freakishlypersistent

    This is sorta OT but, something really needs to be done about Hammity going on prime time every night and accusing a private citizen of crimes he can’t substantiate and demanding kongressional hearings. Also, kongress idiots talking about “coup d’etat on the floor of the house. This is dangerous shit and Republicans would not accept it from lefties. That talk from anyone but wingnuts would be shut down in a nano second.

  • Mr. Blobfish

    It’s not a conspiracy. It’s a collection of parasitic grifters who have found the prefect bloated orange host organism to sink their scammy suckers into.

  • puredog

    “While I am disappointed in the overall results of yesterday’s election
    in Virginia, I don’t believe we can measure the full impact on the GOP
    just yet,” Dole said. “If Congress passes the tax bill this year, this
    will help the president’s popularity. As a party, we should have a
    better sense of where things are headed in six months or so.”
    Good plan there, Bob. Let’s all y’all just wait until May 2018 or so before trying to figure out how to win the midterms.

    • bupkus231

      “If Congress passes the tax bill this year, this will help the president’s popularity.”

      Sounds like 94-year-old Bob Dole is displaying signs of senile dementia. The fuckin’ tax cut is despised by a large majority of Americans – and he and the rest of the GOP seem to think passing it will make them “popular”?

      • cmd resistor

        I was listening to idiots on NPR this morning talking about how they have to pass this bill because they promised!!! And the reason they didn’t do so well on Tuesday is they haven’t kept their promises (to screw America.) I can’t remember which idiot said this, maybe Ryan, maybe Hatch.

        • Indeniable Ron

          Hey, if they want to believe this, so be it. That’s the fun thing about reality, no matter how hard you ignore it, it ALWAYS gets in the last word.

        • bupkus231

          AOT, K ( I’ve always wanted to use that )

          Every single GOPper talks about keeping their promises to cut taxes – other promises, not so much.

          • cmd resistor

            That, and the ones to Destroy Obamacare.

        • satanscheerleadersloveamerica
          • cmd resistor

            And he is one of the Supreme Assholes up there.

    • Celtic_Gnome

      May 2018 you say?

      Check’s calendar.

      Sorry. That’s when Paul Manafort’s trial is scheduled to begin.

  • Nounverb911

    I don’t think Ms COulter likes Ms Nielsen.
    https://twitter.com/AnnCoulter/status/928288292193423362

    • Lance Thrustwell

      I just looked at some pictures. She’s a’ight, just normal looking to me. Guess she’s Coulter’s type or something.

    • ariel_gee_398

      So the leading theory is that there is some sort of virus run amok in conservative circles that causes you to speak in word salad, right?

      • Celtic_Gnome

        I believe that’s called aphasia.

    • Oblios_Cap

      Hateful harridan trying to be relevant says what?

    • ImGoingBacon

      Hey, Ms. Nielsen has been around homeland security issues for awhile. With her resume, she at least appears to be competent for the job.
      In other words Ann, STFU.

    • SeeTrain65

      Jealousy doesn’t become you, Coultergeist.

  • Indeniable Ron

    A new report by the nonpartisan Congressional Budget Office (CBO) says that killing the ACA mandate would save $338 million Ameros — by leaving 13 million people without health insurance.

    Well, we finally have an answer to that burning question, what is the value of a human life. According to the GOP, it’s US$26.00.

    • Joe Beese

      Look, the abolition of the estate tax isn’t going to pay for itself.

  • Joe Beese

    Looking forward to the meetup tonight.

    I’ll identify myself with the password “WHOA IF TRUE”.

    • Persistent Tennessee Rain

      With the correct response being, “It’s true”?

    • natoslug

      I thought we weren’t discussing our safe words until the meetup.

    • SeeTrain65

      Certainly a better choice than “CANNED CLAMS.”

  • JohnBull

    Hey, it’s an electric scooter race around the Capitol. At least they’re not rollin’ coal.

    • SeeTrain65

      DO. NOT. GIVE. THEM. ANY. IDEAS!

  • Ezio

    Alex Jones and Fox News decided to play a series of clips about “Trump’s historic win” and “liberals melting down” yesterday as an anniversary of the Presidential election but seemed to have nothing to say about the wave of Republican losses on Tuesday. I wonder why?

    • ManchuCandidate

      Because they are a bunch of fucking wimps that can’t face reality. Yes Libs were not happy that Dr OrangeTinyFingers was elected but the info was reported instead of being ignored.

      • YoBunnyBunny

        Us libs were very not happy. And after we drowned ourselves in drink and blue berry muffins, we got our shit together, we got mad, we got organized, and on Tuesday–where applicable–we VOTED.

        But FauxNewz is more than welcome to keep wanking off on liberal tears of 2016. This is 2017 and 2018 is right around the fucking corner…

    • Persistent Tennessee Rain

      I still can’t figure out how “old white man wins presidency due to antiquated system,” translates into “historic win.”

    • SeeTrain65

      Because they’ve always been more at home in the past than the present?

  • Joe Beese
    • Antonin Dvorak

      Perhaps it was what she said and not where she said it, Glenn.

      • Joe Beese

        Nah, that can’t be it.

    • Phoenixdoglover

      Because you’re an asshole, and two assholes on the screen at the same time is intolerable?

    • ariel_gee_398

      Let’s see – all those people were in the process of running for or serving in office, not selling books?

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      Greenwald’s about a step away from PizzaGate lunacy at this point.

    • freakishlypersistent

      They did. O’Reilly was insulting and rude and interrupted the POTUS constantly. So DIAF.

    • Resistor Radio

      Dude.

    • Oblios_Cap

      It’s hard being Glenn, what with having no friends and a low IQ.

    • SeeTrain65

      Dear Glenn:

      Are you REALLY THIS STUPID? Is it an act for business purposes? Or is it both?

      BTW: Your horseshoe is showing.

      GFY,

      ST

  • Joe Beese
    • Phoenixdoglover

      Today’s word is kowtow.

    • Nounverb911

      He didn’t want to admit the he just sold California to the Chinese

      • Rebel Scum with permit

        They already own half of it anyway.

    • Oblios_Cap

      That, and he didn’t want to answer questions.

    • Parakeetist

      WTF no

    • Indeniable Ron

      Probably true.
      ‘Please do not ask the President any questions, gentlemen. He’s been enough of an embarrassment already, do you not think?’

    • WotsAllThisThen

      And unlike past administrations, there was no American disagreement.

    • Suttree

      “We cannot stand to listen to another word out of his flatulent mouth.”

    • Ryan Denniston

      But what does Putin want?

  • President in Exile Firefly

    No cell phones at mass? YOU MONSTER!

    • Oblios_Cap

      How will I play Angry Birds?

      • President in Exile Firefly

        There’s always the live version of Hide the Host.

        • Indeniable Ron

          ‘Take, eat. This is my… what the FUCK?’

    • Indeniable Ron

      ‘Honey, let’s go to Our Lady of the Immaculate Coiffure for mass. Their reviews on Yelp are WAY better.’

    • Canned Covfefe

      Geeze, that seems a bit extreme. It’s not like he was handing out canned clams or something.

  • Nounverb911
  • Ryan Denniston

    “People are caught between a rock and a hard place in opposing the merger between CNN and Time-Warner, because it would create a massive media conglomerate, and could be perceived as siding with Trump.”

    I would be fine with that if it meant Cilizza would be fired or promoted so high he can no longer opine.

    • From Russia with Love

      You misspelled Clitzilla.

      • MizzMazz

        Hey, c’mon, clits are nice!

        • From Russia with Love

          No argument from me!

  • Joe Beese
    • Oblios_Cap

      Sounds like a Trump nominee.

      • Résistance Land Shark Ω

        That’s a feature, not a bug.

    • natoslug

      How is it legal that someone that mind-numbingly ignorant can even be considered for a position? Other than as doorstop, that is.

      • From Russia with Love

        The wedge. Simplest tool known to man.

        • natoslug

          AKA the Hannity?

    • Courser_Resistance

      Fuck, that fills me with woe. My entire worldview is based on science. Cuz I’m a sane person.

    • Celtic_Gnome

      Sheldon’s got the right idea. No bombast, no drama. A simple challenge to their worldview leaves conservatives floundering because the bubble they live in has never prepared them for anyone questioning their beliefs.

    • wow. that’s just…wow.

      i wish shakespeare were here to come up with a better reaction than i am doing at this moment.

  • Joe Beese
    • Indeniable Ron

      I’m not sure which is the more horrifying – that they think this is useful, or that they’re SELLING them.

      • Phoenixdoglover

        The whole thing is horrifying.

      • Suttree

        I’m surprised that Ivanka doesn’t have a bulletproof child’s clothing line out yet. Use caution though, contact with bullets may cause clothes to combust.

        • natoslug

          She’s waiting for someone else to come out with a line that’s worth copying.

      • StarBangledSpammer

        My kid has to keep his backpack in his locker during the school day and I STILL am tempted to buy one. Can I find a clear, human-shaped panel? With air holes?

      • Courser_Resistance

        And people wonder why parents ‘helicoptor’ so much these days. I’m so very glad I never had kids.

        • Indeniable Ron

          I’m glad I did, and made damned sure they grew up to be good people.

    • Oblios_Cap

      Is this a great country, or what?

      • puredog

        Only if the ballistics panels bear the legend “MAGA!”

    • bupkus231

      I don’t think those “ballistic panels” for kids’ backpacks are “new”. I seem to recall reading about them, even before Sandy Hook.

    • Parakeetist

      Mother of God.

    • Lance Thrustwell

      That’s… that’s not… what? Damn. If you’re gonna do that, then go all the way and have a TSA-style patdown for all non-teacher and non-admin grownups entering the building. And cover the checkpoint with a sniper.

      • Courser_Resistance

        Many schools now have secure entrances, which mean you have to be buzzed in. Newtown was like that, I think.I can’t remember how Lanza got past it.

    • natoslug

      I see this as a positive. With PE classes and recesses being cut or shortened, the only exercise these little slackers will get will be carrying around heavy packs and running from gunfire. The next logical step, though, will be built-in holsters so our children can also protect themselves from on-campus bear attacks.

      • Courser_Resistance

        I’ve also seen Kevlar book covers, so the little tykes can protect themselves with their school books.

        Jesus Christ on a pogo stick, the only thing I had to fear getting shot by was a rubber band or spit ball.

  • Ryan Denniston

    “The rumor mill around 1600 Penn. is that Trump may release his Middle East peace plan next week, but nobody is holding their breath as “the next two weeks” is Trump’s favorite dodge.”

    No doubt his Hawaiian team of investigators are right now deployed in Middle East and we will not believe the proposals they are developing. To be released right after his taxes and Obummer’s transcripts.

  • ariel_gee_398
    • TheGrandWazoo2

      Trump is the Carrier of disease.

      • laughingnome

        Patient zero

    • Nounverb911

      Will they refund all the money Pence Indiana gave them?

      • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

        What money? That aid was non-refundable.

      • Pilotshark

        well just how do you think they are paying for the move and relocation?
        from they`er private accounts?
        :)

    • Oblios_Cap

      Ho, ho, ho!

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      Ship all the workers to Pennsylvania and W. Va. to fill all those new coal mining jobs.

      • cmd resistor

        Or to Mar-a-Lago.

    • Ryan Denniston

      Everything Trump touches turns to shit.

      • Donna Mueller

        it’s always been that way right from his start when he got abe beams administration to reduce his tax burden in N Y city. he’s been a thieving, whoring grifter his ENTIRE LIFE.

  • Nounverb911
    • Phoenixdoglover

      “Sorry, this sort of tattoo is not removable. have a nice life.”

  • ManchuCandidate

    Trump’s Middle East Plan
    Don’t nuke or bomb Trump Jerusalem, Trump Riyadh and Trump Dubai.

  • Ryan Denniston

    “Fox’s funny money mouthpiece, Maria Bartiromo, lost her shit during an interview with DNC chair Tom Perez, and it is delightful.”

    To be fair, sometimes i lose my shit when I see Tom Perez too. I like his enthusiasm and think he’s doing a good job. But his capacity to turn a two word answer into a 5 minute soliloquy can be irritating.

    • He’s a lifelong DC guy from Takoma Park who was doing wonky ground-level work before he was tapped for big policy shit. He does good policy work at the ground level, but I’ve had burnt toast that was more interesting that his lecture responses to yes and no questions.

      • Me not sure

        If he can replicate last Tuesday’s results in 2018 he can drone on forever. Nominate. Organize. Spend. Turn out. VOTE!

      • Edith Prickly

        Ah. Yes, he totally sounds like a policy wonk.

    • Lance Thrustwell

      And he kinda has the gravitas of a caffeinated chipmunk.

      • Debbie the Unpaid Protester

        I thought his cheerfulness was a nice contrast to Maria’s shrillness, though.

  • Résistance Land Shark Ω
    • Doug Langley

      It’s working! Look how high the billionaires are rising!!

  • Aggle Wok

    Re: ACA
    Since signing up on the exchange, I’ve received two phone calls from private companies trying to sell me “cheaper, better plans.” One of the calls had “MEDICAID” as the caller ID, and it definitely was a private company. Am I crazy to think they are intentionally trying to pull people off the exchange? Is that too tin-foily-hatty?

    • Edith Prickly

      I think you’re spot on.

    • Maclare’s Castle o’ Crap 🏰

      I get them too, both before and after signing up. I think it’s the usual targeted “ads” that happens because so much we do is monitored. Like all the car insurance calls I get after an internet search for insurance.

      I hate that this is now usual.

      • bbayliss

        Refuse to do business with them and tell them why.

    • VirginiaMorningBlend

      You might want to inform someone about that. It could confuse us olds. And it’s damned deceptive.

      • yeah and it’s not illegal and never has been. i fight this shit every fucking day.

        • VirginiaMorningBlend

          Someone using an id that says Medicare when they are not isn’t illegal? Isn’t that posing as a government program? Like the scammers saying they are the IRS and to pay them in apple play cards? Could they be the same bunch?

          • They say things like they help you sign up for medicare or medicaid. I’ve been trying to get IL to shut these down for 4 years now and it’s only getting worse.

            It usually comes down to caveat emptor.

    • contact your DOI (I send folks to IL DOI daily) but they’ve been doing this since the beginning and is not actually new to trump (though he’s encouraging them). it’s just the usual free market riff raff profiting off your pain and childhood.

      also, i tell people to look for the ‘.gov’ extension and never ever pick up the phone.

  • freakishlypersistent

    Trump’s Middle East Plan-grovel to the Saudi prince, disparage an actual elected leader in Iran.

  • YoBunnyBunny

    If I were on trial, no matter what the verdict, I think I’d be honored to be judged by Bamz Obama.

    • Doug Langley

      Anyone know why he was kicked off?

      • YoBunnyBunny

        Well, my attorney sister says that attorneys always get kicked off of jury duty. I guess being a constitutional scholar and all just made him undesirable… among other things I guess…

  • Bub, the cynical zombie
    • Phoenixdoglover

      Time for a very concerned expression!

      • Bub, the cynical zombie

        He always looks like he’s “concerned” that wasn’t just a fart.

    • Viktor

      A young Sean Hannity when his hair wasn’t a gelled skull cap, and Tucker Carlson before his cheeks turned puffy.

    • Edith Prickly

      Dumber and Dumberer.

    • Forgot this one

    • wide_stance_hubby

      I get these two confused all the time, so I have now co-fused them into the sad entity of ‘Tuckity–the Beast of Two Hacks’.

    • TundraGrifter

      When are those two going to get adult haircuts?

  • LadyLaz

    I’ve enjoyed watching the Trumpists trying to minimize the losses in Virginia because Virginia is “blue,” never mind that the state senate is equally balanced, we had a full GOP at the governor/lt governor/ag before McAufflie, and the House of Delegates was 66-34

    • ariel_gee_398

      66-34, and gerrymandered to stay that way.

  • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba
    • Raan

      #RektOnStream

  • Ghenghis McCann

    This has to take the prize for ‘Least Surprising Headline of 2017’;

    Trump ‘broke Scots investment promises’

    http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-41918224

  • Viktor

    Maria Bartiromo has moved to the dark side

    • She was ALWAYS on the dark side

      • Resistor Radio

        She just got a pass for awhile due to her glorious rack.

        • When she was on CNBC in the pits she would strong arm traders using sex appeal. Now she sits in a studio using sex appeal to gain an audience. The news is supposed to be boring so you’re informed, not full of tits and glitter so you’re distracted.

          • From Russia with Love

            Tits n’ Glitter. My new Axl Rose cover band.

          • Resistor Radio

            I’d take you more seriously if your avi showed some leg.

  • William
  • natoslug

    Re John McCain: Is there a lesson to be learned from Republicans only being able to understand or empathize if they have personally gone through a specific traumatic experience?

    • This assumes Steve Scalise learned a lesson about guns.

      • natoslug

        It might not yet be clear to him that the danger there was guns. But put him on a commission studying the dangers of sportsball, and I’m certain he will be one of the main proponents of better protective gear. After all, McCain had FIVE AND A HALF YEARS, ALAN! to figure out that torture was bad. All Steve had was a single afternoon in the sun.

        • Donna Mueller

          maybe he has a fleeting thought about it when he empties his colostomy bag into the toilet???

      • cmd resistor

        Yeah, I was thinking he might actually learn something, especially when reading about how much worse his injuries were due to type of gun/bullets. But no, delusional again.

  • Panika MCD

    it’s been 2.25 months since Harvey made landfall.
    it’s been 2 months since Irma made landfall.
    it’s been 1.5 months since Maria made landfall.

    I know it’s picky, but it’s picky with a purpose: when people feel like they’ve been fed a hyperbole, they start to check out on the truth–which is bad things. maybe a dick joke to make up for it?

    • bbayliss

      Three dicks walk into a bar, the bartender says
      “Well, if it’s not flopsy, mopsy, and cottontail, visit any good briar patches lately?”

  • Edith Prickly

    HOLEEE SHIT, is Maria Bartiromo obnoxious. Her voice makes me long for the dulcet tones of Fran Drescher.

  • Bub, the cynical zombie
    • BadKitty904

      *W*E* do. Republicans don’t…as long as it’s election interference in the GOP’s favor.

    • greyXstar

      Well that’s not terrifying.

    • VirginiaMorningBlend

      Damn if that doesn’t speak volumes.

  • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

    As a CSU grad, I say: “Go Fort Collins!!!”

    • From Russia with Love

      My bro and sis were aggies too! OK, rams.
      I ended up out of state, then finished at UNC (much to my shame).

      • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

        Don’t be ashamed. Some of my friends went to UNC. (I presume the Greeley one. I currently live down the road from the Chapel Hill one. I always have to stop and specify when I’m talking about Greeley around here.)

        • From Russia with Love

          Gree-ality it was. There was actually some great road bicycling out there on the rolling plains, if you could ignore the stink. And the school was certainly a lot more mellow than U of Texas.

          • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

            You could smell the stink in Fort Collins if the wind was right.

  • Resistor Radio

    1. Why is baby tapir so cute?
    2. Where can I get one?
    3. Will it wear cute sweaters that I knit for it?

    • From Russia with Love

      Much like fish heads, they’re not good dancers, they don’t wear sweaters.

    • BadKitty904

      The adults bite AND kick. Too. also.

  • Tzipora Kaplan

    glad yr back, Dominic. Yesterday was very unsettling w/o you helping the shitstorm of news go down easy.

  • Panika MCD

    “capitAl” is the city or money.
    “capitOl” is the building.

    I don’t know why.

    • Raan

      Because English is a fuckin’ mutt of a language.

      • Panika MCD

        I’m just saying that Scalise and Johnson would be racing around the CapitOl.

      • Panika MCD

        and I actually do know why it’s that way. it’s not because of the muttliness of our language. it’s because of the muttliness of our first dictionaries.

        • TundraGrifter

          There’s a theory that after 1066 the educated in England wrote and spoke French – the commoners spoke English but didn’t write much down. A few hundred years later, when it was again time to write in English much of the structure had been lost forever.

          • Panika MCD

            “Lingua Franca” comes from the fact that French was the language of court for a long time. it wasn’t necessarily the educated, but the gentry that spoke French. the educated all spoke English and Latin–because boys had to memorize Ovid in English and Latin by the age of 12.

            what I’m talking about came later when the dictionaries were written. at that time they took a spelling from one place and an enunciation from another. hence, the spelling for “knight” came from a place that enunciated the word “ka’nig’it” and the enunciation came from a place where they spelled the word “nite”

          • TundraGrifter

            I thought “Lingua Franca” is what you could get for fifty bucks in Paris.

            Your post is thoughtful and makes sense.

          • Panika MCD

            my History of the English Language course was no joke.

          • TundraGrifter

            Which I did my level best to fully acknowledge. I offer my sincere apologies to anyone I may have offended.

          • Panika MCD

            sorry, I wasn’t meaning to smack you down. I meant, “thanks.” you can get all the same stuff from Mother Tongue by Bill Bryson as it is a layman’s version of Baugh and Cable.

            though the day when we talked about how the Plague influenced the language was kind of hilarious.

    • VirginiaMorningBlend

      Will the effects of this have any affect on de brain?

      • Panika MCD

        I imagine them racing around the National Mall instead of the halls of Congress.

    • SeeTrain65

      And yes, this will be on the test.

      • Panika MCD

        NO. 2 PENCILS ONLY.

  • Resistor Radio

    I don’t know about Facebook, but I definitely get a dopamine hit when one of y’all give me an upfist. Is that shallow and bad? I dunno, but it’s true.

    • oblivias

      Here you go.

    • VirginiaMorningBlend

      Oh you like that huh? Here’s another!

      • Resistor Radio

        Oooh, yeah, just like that!

    • Doug Langley

      This calls for experimentation. Here’s an upvote. How did that feel?

    • Celtic_Gnome

      Here’s another one. I can enable with the best of them.

      • Resistor Radio

        Most excellent enabling!

    • Opalescent Riddles

      I also get a hit from *giving* an upfist. I think this system could work well for both of us.

      • Resistor Radio

        I like how you think, Riddles.

    • Gayer Than Thou

      Poppers will really enhance that effect.

    • Johnnymoreno

      First one’s free.

  • Panika MCD

    why would Gorka think it would be a good idea to suppress their voter base? when you are in power, the fear tactics like that make you think you’ve made a mistake because the assholes you voted for won’t protect you. “oh well, might as well not go to the polls and get abducted by that super soldier army on the way.” that’s the message since they’re the ones who should be able to stop it.

  • Dutchman

    I listened to Maria screech at Tom Perez and kept hoping that he’d say “Maria, I have not spoken with Senator Sanders. As I mentioned earlier, I’ve been working to help get Democrats elected”.

    • Hand Turkey

      I heard him twice on NPR this week. Tom Ashbrook kept interrupting him but Perez has a very cool head and did a great job.

    • TundraGrifter

      Sen. Sanders wanted to use the Democratic Party like an Uber and Donald J. Trump hijacked the Republican Party like a Miami gang banger.

  • Hand Turkey

    Meh…healthcare is for libtards anyway.

    We brave conservatives (that’s us back there…hunkering behind the walls and guns) prefer to rub some dirt on it and walk it off.

    It’s just a coincidence that we all have ringworm now.😉

  • YoBunnyBunny

    RE the CMA parody songs

    Odd how the audience that affiliates itself mostly (but not exclusively, I don’t know all country music’s political leanings) with the “Politically Incorrect” camp, is now demanding that things must be “politics free”.

    Strange… (not really)

  • LadyLaz

    By the way, go Perez. About TIME! Call it out like that.

    • Hand Turkey

      I had Berners all week tell me that we’re racist for bashing DB.

      Yeah…they went there.

      I was loathe to remind them that they’ve bashed everyone from Kamala Harris to Tom Perez to Joy Reid…all minorities.

      • BadKitty904

        Fuck them – anyone who actively helped put Turmp in the WH and Republicans in Congress doesn’t get to call anyone else “fascists”.

        • From Russia with Love

          Amen.

        • Dutchman

          And the horse they rode in on. Also, too, the pack of dogs that followed.

          • BadKitty904

            Well, jackals…

    • Debbie the Unpaid Protester

      He was not my first choice for DNC Chair, but I did enjoy his smiling refusal to take whatserface’s bait, and how he continued to talk about HIS agenda, rather than hers. Nicely done!

  • Dept. of Space Tacos

    $338M to help cover 13M sounds like a damn steal compared to oh, let’s say, 1) defense budget increase, 2) fucking tax cuts for already super wealthy people, 3) repeal of the estate tax, 3) OR FUCKING DONALD TRUMP’S TRAVEL BUDGET.

    ahem.

    • Mormos

      all federal spending should be measured against the “defense” budget. instead of saying $338 million, we say 1/1800th of military spending.

      • Dept. of Space Tacos

        aye, I like it!

  • Jon Sussex
  • RugzYaBurnt

    Tapirs!!!! My favorite!!!

    • Mormos

      yeah, i’m enjoying watching my morning videos of animals that will soon be extinct.

      • RugzYaBurnt

        You just had to… :’ (

    • yyaayy

  • Celtic_Gnome

    I bought a pair of pants that were tapired because everyone told me it would be slimming. Never again.

  • Courser_Resistance

    When Umi was born she looked like a watermelon. She was all over local news, as all zoo babbies should be!

  • Marla

    Nice suit, orange fat man. Um, where was it manufactured again?

  • King Beauregard

    In other news. Brand New Congress is giving me a 403 error today.

    brandnewcongress.org

    In case you’re not familiar, after Bernie lost the primary, a bunch of his droogs got together, thought real hard, and said: “we simply need to replace all of Congress in 2018 with candidates to our liking. Let’s go do that!” And so they set out to recruit 460+ candidates, who, ideally, had no experience in politics but had also never sold out in whatever they do for a living, and would all agree to the same Bernietastic platform. Once a solid majority of those candidates were duly elected to office, they could pass Bernie’s platform.

    They were aiming for 460 candidates. Last I checked, they’d come up with 23.

    • Proactive Cooperator

      At least they are closing the gap on the Flat Earth Party. Still way behind the Walking Dead Party.

      • alpacapunchbowl

        The Walking Dead Party serves the absolute worst canapés.

  • TundraGrifter

    I have seen some national news stories about the current situation down in Puerto Rico. Most recently (as in, today) FEMA is offering to fly some people to Miami or NYC and put them up in emergency housing.

    Still no stories about the USVI – I am guessing their situation, for a variety of reasons, is much worse.

    • Red Bird

      USVI doesn’t have a much representation on the mainland as PR. And if you want to split hairs, most PR who have put pressure on the government about their situation have said nothing about their fellow islanders. So, yes there is an element of racism involved. ;)

      • TundraGrifter

        I don’t see it as racism as much as gross stupidity and neglect. Clearly the USVI are much smaller and, as you point out, those good people don’t have a voting bloc in NYC. Many of the men were not drafted during WW II but got caught in Korea. What a change from the Caribbean. Not to mention getting shot at regularly.

  • Alexander Stallwitz

    Speaking of RT and Alex Jones. Matt Drudge has a habit of linking to russian website and Infowars. Maybe Jones decided to save a step for his buddy Matt https://www.mediamatters.org/blog/2017/09/20/how-matt-drudge-became-pipeline-russian-propaganda/217989

  • Hardly Ideal

    “I want people to understand that there are ramifications to, in fact, underfunding the [the IRS]. If the agency fails and people are looking for fault, it will be the fault of the Congress…I am blaming Congress.”

    Again, borrowing from John Oliver, but you can think of the IRS as America’s anus. Nobody’s asking you to like it, but you need it. It does a very important, if unglamorous job. And if you don’t have it, things go to shit very quickly.

  • calliecallie

    NYT has a good editorial about the tax cuts for the rich bill. I find this so truly infuriating! This is every bit as bad as health care, IMHO. Completely unwarranted. Will not improve the economy – which is already at full employment, fyi, and doesn’t need their trickle down assistance even if it were real.

    It is offensive. Robber barons and oligarchs of America, hoarding all the wealth for themselves and pretending they are doing the peasants a favor. It makes me stabby with votes.

  • Doug Langley
  • Carpe Vagenda

    Know what I’ll bet? I’ll bet that Alex Jones is being ratfucked. I’ll bet he had permission, but he can’t talk about who gave it to him and under what circumstances, and he’s going to have to sign a confidentiality agreement to keep from being cleaned out.

  • Jeff Mc Donald

    I’m not sure about this mind you…but wan’t China stealing our jobs with evil during the last presidential campaign?

    • phoenix00

      That was then, this is now, according to Chickenshit Donnie.

      (While sitting next to Xi Jin Ping, of course)

  • keinsignal

    Speaking of the CMAs I think I have a new hero:

    http://www.tennessean.com/story/entertainment/music/2017/11/08/cma-awards-sturgill-simpson-busks-outside-bridgestone-arena/846851001/

    Between tunes, Sturgill took questions. Asked what
    he’d say in a hypothetical CMA acceptance speech, he had a few key
    points to hit:

    “Nobody needs a machine gun, coming
    from a guy who owns quite a few guns. Gay people should have the right
    to be happy, and live their life any way they want to, and get married
    if they want to without fear of getting drug down the road behind a
    pickup truck. Black people are probably tired of getting shot in the
    streets and being enslaved by the prison industrial complex. Hegemony
    and fascism is alive and well in Nashville, Tennessee. Thank you very
    much.”

    • (((Aron)))

      Ka BOOM

  • UnsaltedSinner
  • ExecutorElassus

    I’m really stoked about the German gender thing. See, German still uses different grammatical cases for gendered nouns (and all of them are gendered). The current neutral gender — das/das/dem/des — is only used for specific words irrespective of gender when referring to people: for example, the German word for “little girl” is “das Mädchen”, as the diminutive -chen suffix always carries a neutral gender. So you would say “Das Mädchen will was es will,” which literally translates as “the little-girl wants what it wants.” It sounds really weird in English, but in German that’s a normal construction.
    However, there are still obvious (and creeping) problems with referring to living things as neutral/sexless, and so there are some efforts to use pronouns that match biological sex more closely. Professional designations that once used to be only masculine are getting feminine versions, for example.
    But here’s where it’s interesting: I think it would be really unlikely that they’ll just start referring to nonbinary folks with the standard neutral gender. So they’re probably going to have to make a new one, with new pronouns, articles, endings, etc.
    It’s a language-nerd’s fantasy come true! Exciting times!

  • (((Aron)))

    A babby da snooge!

    (That is what the cognoscenti call tapirs.)

  • Proactive Cooperator

    1. Whoduhthunk Fort Collins Co as a world leader in technology ! Not I. I hope they do a good job. Amazon, or prolly the next Amazon, are you listening ?
    2. Like we need more reasons to stay out of OK. That place is just evil. No wonder everyone is high.
    3. I can relate to Bammerz. I get called for jury duty but for some unknown reason I never get picked. I’m sure my long hair, tye dyed t-shirt, rainbow pin, and Grateful Dead hat have nothing to do with it.
    4. Some one should tell the Orange Goof what the “Communist” part of Communist China means. Never mind, he would prolly like it.

    • phoenix00

      4. He LOVES authorian-totalitarian China. He wants it for himself.

  • ziggywiggy
  • nightmoth

    From the Asia trip: a cute little video of Melania which makes me like her more because, unlike her husband would have done, she did NOT get petulant over being upstaged by a boyband singer.
    http://www.bbc.com/news/av/world-asia-41924751/melania-upstaged-by-korean-pop-star

    • phoenix00

      This is Asia. They go bananas over their popstars.

  • Poly_Ester

    Will Putin use the occasion of meeting with Trump at the Asian summit to bring Agent orange in from the cold?

  • Empress of the Iguana People

    The IRS has made mistakes, yes, and some notably large ones in the not-too-distant past, but they really are working on a very tight budget. Hell, they’ve only gotten cost-of-living raises a few times in the last dozen years.

    • Few times? Last time a fed got a col increase shrub was president

      • Empress of the Iguana People

        I think there was a partial one a couple years ago. And Bush was president a dozen years ago

  • SeeTrain65

    Do we need to add “plagiarist” and “thief” to Alex Jones’s resume?

    I’m sure they was just innocent omissions on AJ’s part. ; )

  • Johnnymoreno

    Boy-Howdy! Things are getting REAL weird now. Last Tuesday was fuckin great!

    It’s a Golden Age for Dem Trolls! They’re going insane on BB. So many angles of attack–I feel like a cat in a room full of blind mice over there.🐁

  • SKruetheratbassedarDs

    Apocraphilalia – a little known variant of Tourette’s Syndrome where the patient has weird ticks and mannerisms, and is prone to sudden outbursts of easily provable, utter bullsh*t.

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