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Slow news day, guys, wonder what White House Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders is even going to talk about.

Just fooling, today’s White House press briefing is gonna be great! Let’s see what she has to say about Paul Manafort and Rick Gates being in jail, and also about George Papadopoulos, who is not in jail because Mueller done TURNED HIM. We will make jokes about it in this, which is called a “liveblog” if you are new at internet!

Here’s some video:

It starts at 1:15, which is … NOW. Let’s go!

1:20: Sarah Huckabee Sanders! Come out, come out, wherever you are! You’ve had all morning to memorize your lies, now you’re just cutting into our fucking lunch hour.

1:23: By the way, you have official Wonkette permission to drink boozes during the daytime today, because it is a fun news day for the first time since sometime in 2016. Be sure to drink every time she says “Hillary” or “uranium,” but not too big a drink, because you will get the alcohol poisoning.

1:26: OOF, y’all. This is before all today’s news.

1:30: UGH TRUMP WHITE HOUSE, YOU CANNOT BE AN AUTHORITARIAN SHITSTORM OF DEMOCRACY-KILLING PROPORTIONS AND ALSO BE LATE LIKE A COMMON OBAMA.

PICK ONE.

1:35: And here she is finally, to tell us lies. Sanders begins with a hilarious joke about how everybody wants to ask her about tax reform today. The entire White House press corps died of laughter in response to her joke, and now the press conference is over.

1:37: For today’s festival of lies, we have chosen this extremely pink dress. Just FYI.

Blah blah blah, she is doing some kind of stupid storytime about why Trump’s tax reform is the best. BRB taking a nap until she shuts up about stuff nobody wants to talk about.

1:40: OFFICIAL WHITE HOUSE REACTION TO THE INDICTMENTS AND THE RUSSIA GUILT: This has nothing to do with the president. This has to do with the Clinton campaign (DRINK!), Fusion GPS and Russia. Then she said “Clinton” again. (DRINK!)

IS TRUMP GOING TO FIRE ROBERT MUELLER: No.

HOW DOES THE GEORGE PAPADOPOULOS THING NOT HAVE TO DO WITH THE CAMPAIGN, HE WORKED FOR THE FUCKING CAMPAIGN! We don’t know her.

1:43: WHEN IS THE LAST TIME DONALD TRUMP INVITED PAUL MANAFORT OVER FOR PUSSGRAB ‘N’ CHILL?

Sanders: I don’t know Peggy Minestrone or whoever this person is you keep talking about.

1:45: Wow, they are really throwing Manafort under the bus here! Sanders says Manafort’s crimes have literally NOTHING to do with them.

REPORTER: How is the Papadopoulos thing not collusion, when it seriously fucking collusion, my god?

SANDERS: We never paid him any dollars! He was one of THOUSANDS who volunteered on the campaign!

1:46: REPORTER: Should Congress investigate Hillary Clinton?

SANDERS: Don’t tell anybody I told you this but ZOMG YES!

1:48: This is George Papadopoulos, the “low-level” nobody staffer who was just one of a MASSIVE HORDE of people who volunteered for the campaign. He is sitting four people to the right from Donald Trump:

In the foreground, there is Jeff Sessions. The Trump campaign must have been really cool if Trump did “national security meetings” with literally everybody, even the dumb dumb nobodies!

1:56: REPORTER: Does Donald Trump hate his son-in-law Jared Kushner now for getting Paul Manafort hired?

SANDERS: Nah they’re good.

REPORTER: Does Donald Trump really hire the best people?

SANDERS: Sure why not.

REPORTER: Trump’s approval rating is shittier than ever before. What say you?

SANDERS: Fake news!

This is getting dumb.

1:57: Annnnnnnnnnnnd she’s gone. Stick around though, because we’re making Dok transcribe a total bullshit answer Sanders gave, about how Trump’s collusion is OK, unlike, Hillary’s “collusion,” which deserves the electric chair or something.

In other news, Paul Manafort and Rick Gates have pleaded “not guilty” to the one million charges in their indictments, so that’s LOL.

2:05: As we leave, here is your official Sarah Huckabee Sanders Bullshit Hillary Clinton Collusion statement. This is really what they’re going with:

The real collusion scandal, as we’ve said several times before, has everything to do with the Clinton campaign, Fusion GPS & Russia. There’s clear evidence of the Clinton campaign colluding with Russian intelligence to spread disinformation and smear the president to influence the election.

Yeaaaaaaaah buddy. Anyway, click below to follow us on Twitter and tip your bartenders BYE.

 Follow Evan Hurst on Twitter RIGHT HERE.

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  • Sashineb
    • kareemachan

      She’s getting pretty jowly. Stress eating, I’m hoping.

      • Marion in Savannah

        I was just about to say that she’s too young to have jowls like that. Although it’s prolly a family trait, those pig jowls.

        • MynameisBlarney

          She’s from Arkansas, where gravy is also a beverage.

          • Marion in Savannah

            Actually, it’s one of the 4 Southern food groups: Grits, Greens, Grease & Gravy.

          • Three Finger Salute

            But does she like them regular, creamy, or al dente?

            Are they magic grits?

            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_T24lHnB7N8

          • Beanz&Berryz

            Equivalent to a serving of milk or fruit juice.

          • IdRatherBeDancing

            and baby formula

      • chazmanr

        I envision a pile of Ben & Jerry’s containers sitting on her nightstand.

        • Zippy W Pinhead

          half empty Keeblers box she stole from Sessions

          • Three Finger Salute

            Fake news. The box was full because Sessions wants nothing to do with munchies and magic trees.

      • Querolous

        Did she get the fridge that Spice “liberated?”

    • disqus_lWwzrwNaw6

      All she’s got left as a Huckabee is that at least she’s not the one who tortured and killed the stray dog.

    • MynameisBlarney

      Assumes decency and integrity not in evidence.

    • IdRatherBeDancing

      It apparently makes your face drop.

  • Covfefe

    Either the “female Russian national” that Papadopoulos met is the same “female Russian national” that Eric met with or she isn’t.

    • Beanz&Berryz

      That’s logical.

    • WotsAllThisThen

      Maybe she was Schrodinger’s Spy?

      • disqus_lWwzrwNaw6

        Excellent!

    • Three Finger Salute

      Melania?

  • Tom65
  • TimResistit

    Naw. I have grown accustomed to reading lies, not having to hear them uttered live. Nope. Not watching Baghdad Bonnie.

    • BJW

      Same here. It’s necessary to my peace of mind to separate myself one degree from the bullshit.

  • Nounverb911

    URANIUM, URANIUM, URANIUM?

    • Beautiful Soup

      But heranium…

    • bbayliss

      NO! URANIUM!

  • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

    “New procedure – if your question is not presented in iambic pentameter form, I won’t answer it.” – SHS

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      You think Sarah would recognize iambic pentameter? I think she has been very clear that she is a moron.

      • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

        Well, if she can’t recognize it then it will be very easy to ignore every question now won’t it?

    • Nounverb911

      What about Haikus?

    • President in Exile Firefly

      “There once was a man from Trump Tower.”

      • Little Lulu Ω

        Who had a well-rehearsed glower,
        A wife with nice buns,
        Two Idiot sons,
        And a daughter he’d hoped to deflower.

        • PubOption

          Great.

        • President in Exile Firefly

          Also Pullet Surprise worthy!

      • Who paid for a golden shower.
        Putin has pics
        But despite all their tricks
        Justice will still have its hour

        (OK, it’s not Shakespeare, but we can all hope it comes true anyway.)

        • President in Exile Firefly

          Brilliant! You deserve a Pullet Surprise for poetry!

          • george lastrapes

            My research shows that the pee hookers were in fact going by the names ‘Strumpet’ and ‘Putain’………………………..(Look’em up.)

    • Nigel R. Toppinglift, III

      Sarah wants nothing to do with the metric system, and you know that…

  • Mary Theresa

    Hillary references to exceed 20.

    • calliecallie

      We need a drinking game for this. Except I’m at work.
      Buzzword bingo?

      • Mary Theresa

        Sounds good.

    • IdRatherBeDancing

      and dossier or as they say in Arkansas “That Ree-Port”

    • I’d say “Drink!”, but really, if anyone used that as a rule for a drinking game, they’d have cirrhosis by now. Please don’t do that to your poor liver.

      • Mary Theresa

        Really, I’d have a black out on round 4.

  • Villago Delenda Est

    Ron Ziegler is still laughing his ass off from his sulfur hot tub in Hell at these rank amateurs telling obvious lies.

  • AnnieGetYerFun

    Ooooh, is she late? I am not seeing anything and I should be seeing… something.

  • UncleTravelingMatt

    Late again. Pickles must not be answering his phone.

  • Everrett Fanuelli

    Your new episode of “No Shit, Sherlock” with Chris Cilizza.

    http://www.cnn.com/2017/10/30/politics/manafort-trumop-analysis/index.html

    • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

      Man’s like a bulldog. A geriatric bulldog. With no teeth and arthritis in all four legs.

      • MynameisBlarney

        Barking halfheartedly at his own farts.

        • IdRatherBeDancing

          While licking up his own vomit.

  • beingreleased

    She’s going to be going off on the press like a drunk who didn’t get enough cheese on their Big Mac.

    • Beanz&Berryz

      “cheese”

    • IdRatherBeDancing

      That sounds interestingly explicit — hmmmmm

      • beingreleased

        I saw someone describe Sarah’s attitude to the press as someone yelling at a McDonald’s server. I can’t help but think of her that way now.

        In high school, I worked at a movie theater and I remember a woman yelling at me because her Diet Coke was flat. She said she came to the movies to enjoy herself and the Diet Coke was flat. I gave her a new one, but it seemed to me that anyone who would get so upset about a flat Diet Coke probably didn’t enjoy much.

  • miss_grundy

    Just once, I wish the White House Press Corps would demonstrate some ovarian/testicular integrity and put this creature through a wringer so she would blow a gasket on camera. That would make me so happy.

  • Joe Beese

    Internet commenter:

    In boxing terms, it looks like we got a left-hook (Manafort charges), followed quickly by a hard right to the jaw (Papadopoulos plea)

  • 1:23 — Maybe she got her soul back and quit.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      got her soul back

      citation needed

    • Alan

      Implies she had one.

  • Michael R
    • 🦇🎃 Treg Brown 🦇🎃

      She looks like her brother, the dog torturer and murderer, in this saggy faced, derp-eyed picture.

  • Pierre_de_Fermat

    Two Tweets that capture the spirit …

    1. Dan Murphy:

    Can only imagine the Russian case officer's joy at discovering the pits of venality and stupidity Trump routinely surrounds himself with.— Dan Murphy (@bungdan) October 30, 2017

    2. Ben Wittes:

    It boils down to this: the President of the US had as his campaign manager an alleged foreign agent who was allegedly laundering millions.— Benjamin Wittes (@benjaminwittes) October 30, 2017

  • Nounverb911

    “The president has never met Manafort, heard of him, nor knows him. Donald Trump on the other hand…”

    –Sarah Huckaliar Sanders

    • Michael R

      ” Donald Trump doesn’t know who Donald Trump is ”
      ( almost believable )

  • UncleTravelingMatt

    “How dare you ask that question?!?!? My daughter is preparing for Halloween!!!!”

  • calliecallie

    Meanwhile, somewhere else in the country, Sean Spicer smiles quietly to himself.

    • bbayliss

      And, Meanwhile, somewhere else in the country, Reince Priebus slowly pulls his finger from his anus and takes a deep, satisfying wiff.

      • BearDeLaOursistance

        I’m now putting up a sign at my desk that counts the days since the last “Being Forced to Think About Reince Priebus’ Anus” incident.

      • Ling Ling

        Snark of the day nominee. And you owe me a new keyboard.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      wouldn’t surprise me if Spicey has been cooperating

  • Kryptonian Canis

    Methinks there is fuckery afoot!

  • Joe Beese

    I’m frankly sort of surprised that Manafort is still alive. My impression is that the sorts of jobs where you get the ability to implicate lots of Russian oligarchs and possibly Putin himself in serious crimes…don’t have great retirement options?

    http://www.metafilter.com/170281/and-now-the-facts-are-pouring-out-DO-SOMETHING#7211808

    • ltmcdies

      maybe they just couldn’t get at him or he was too damn visible

    • Alan

      Nah. They want chaos and they’re getting it. Pee tapes are only a matter of time.

      • SadDemInTex

        I agree. With the USA in chaos they can loot the world with impunity.

  • Nounverb911
    • Marion in Savannah

      They’re too busy preparing the next chyron about the hamburger emoji scandal.

    • cmd resistor

      WELL, YEAH because it didn’t HAPPEN today! As a matter of fact, looks like Mueller COVERED!!!!111!!! it UP!!!!111!!

  • AnnieGetYerFun

    Ugh, I wish my office kept free booze on hand like those cool offices where all the young people work.

    • Mike Wallace

      I make booze for a living but am not allowed to drink it while I make it. How is that even fair?

      • altleftjohn

        Thank you for your service.

        • Mike Wallace

          Sales have been excellent this year. No idea why.

      • Marion in Savannah

        That should be illegal — Deuteronomy 25:4:

        Thou shalt not muzzle the ox when he treadeth out the corn.

      • AnnieGetYerFun

        I would not be able to do that.

  • Goddamit I have to pee, don’t start yet!

  • Beautiful Soup

    I hope they laugh her off the podium.

  • Bill D. Burger
  • Alan

    It’s drinking games like this that make me wish I hadn’t given up drinking after Reagan.

  • memzilla Ω

    Imma put this right here for when she denies that Dolt 45 even knew Manafort.
    . https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/da29276423ab7f069e16120cf1383615e829cb223aeac463ef87dccfcc67784e.jpg

    • AnnieGetYerFun

      I love how Newt shows up to talk about everything he knows so much about. I assume he will walk this statement back a bit later today?

      • Crank Tango

        Jeeze, it was just a joke. Classic hipster irony.

    • Crank Tango

      Thanks for the hot tip, Sean.

    • Khavrinen

      I’m waiting for her to deny that he even knew Ivanka….

    • Bright Bart

      nobody does Sean, nobody does.

  • Scooby

    No Sarah, the questions wasn’t about Russian Uranium…it was bout Russian Urine.

    • Three Finger Salute

      Urine trouble now!

  • Put On Your War Paint!

    OT – I gotta get outside before I get Gunshy, Y’all. Make fun of Hucksterbee for me, please. :)

    • BearGHAZI

      Madam it is your CIVIC RESPONSIBILITY to make fun of Sarah Slanders. If you miss the live blog you’ll be assigned homework

  • UncleTravelingMatt

    “I just think it’s highly inappropriate for you guys to question the President’s press secretary.” — SHS, 20 minutes from now.

  • Bill D. Burger
    • msanthropesmr

      Damn your eyes!
      Already have been!

  • 🦇🎃 Treg Brown 🦇🎃
    • Nounverb911

      Especially the Russian flag pin!

    • bbayliss

      There are apparently four of them

  • Résistance Land Shark Ω

    Sarah … I think the choice of a funeral outfit is very apropos.

  • IdRatherBeDancing

    Ol’ Lop Eyes will be spinning like a rat hamster today.

  • vivian

    “Sarah, I want you tell to them that I didn’t do it, that it wasn’t me, I didn’t and even if I did I couldn’t have because it wasn’t really me, it was all these other people who, incidentally, I’ve never even met most of them and even the ones that I did meet I wasn’t really paying attention, so it wasn’t me. Go that? Go.”

  • Nounverb911

    So Sarah, what did the president talk about with Sessions at lunch today?
    https://twitter.com/WestWingReport/status/924957858961256449

    • Everrett Fanuelli

      Trump got 3 scoops of ice cream today while no one else got any as punishment!

  • OrG

    She’s gonna lie. I just know it.

    • Khavrinen

      Wow!! You must be psychic or somethin’!!!

  • bbayliss

    I want Joy Reid to ask her a question

  • susan_g

    A good drinking game would be to do a shot every time Huckagirl says “Hillary Clinton” or “DNC”. On second thought, don’t do that.

    • Proud Liberal

      Yeah. Alcohol poisoning ain’t so good.

  • laughingnome

    She’s not showing. Maybe she’s been arrested.

  • ManchuCandidate

    Sean Spicer is evily laughing somewhere even though he was quite a despicable shit too.

    • Old town Urbandale

      I was just thinking about how he must have been laughing maniacally all morning that he doesn’t have to give today’s presser.

  • canes_pugnaces

    Nate Silver: 30% is the ‘abandon ship’ marker for the ’18 campaigns.

    • Phoenixdoglover

      And 25% is the Walk the Plank marker for Cap’n Drumpf.

    • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef
      • Creepoman

        This is fine.

      • MrTusks

        The F-35 looks great!

        • coozledad

          The pilot ejects only after the cockpit is engulfed in flames. Solid metaphor, Spotts.

        • FlownΩver

          Does it? I can’t see it.

      • Nigel R. Toppinglift, III

        Flared waaaayyyy to late..

    • Msgr_MΩment

      33% is the “two out of three Amurricans is a idiot. Take a look to your left, now look to your right” marker.

  • Oblios_Cap

    Well? Huckster? Huckster?

  • Bill D. Burger
  • Zippy W Pinhead

    You’ll know when Sarah is ready to do today’s briefing, you’ll be able to smell the bullsit all the way down the hall, long before she gets near the press room

    • wide_stance_hubby

      All the dogs in DC stop barking.

  • Nounverb911
  • MynameisBlarney

    It’s almost like he knows what he’s doing.

    https://www.democraticunderground.com/10029769619

  • UnsaltedSinner
    • Crank Tango

      Holy shit, this Titanic has the yoogest orchestra, don’t it.

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        about those deck chairs…

    • MynameisBlarney

      Sounds as if the WSJ is aiding and abetting, dunnit?

    • Alan

      Are they nuts?

      • MynameisBlarney

        Yup.

      • ariel_gee_398

        They prefer ‘craven ideologues’.

    • ariel_gee_398
    • ltmcdies

      taking a pardon means admitting one conspired against the United States, WSJ.

      the Democratic campaign attack ads would write themselves.

      • UnsaltedSinner

        No, see, ’cause the genius of this plan is that Hillary Clinton and Obama would also be pardoned for their many, many crimes! Both sides do it!

        • Covfefe

          So Hillz and Barry reject their pardons. What do the rest of the, look like?

          • UnsaltedSinner

            YOU WILL TAKE YOUR PARDONS AND LIKE IT, DEMOCRATS!

    • canes_pugnaces

      Doesn’t Murdock own the WSJ, just kidding. Yes he does.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      They sure do love all that law and order, except when it applies to them

      • ariel_gee_398

        “Unfettered freedom for rich white fucks, law and order for everyone else” is a bit too bulky for every day use, so they shortened it.

    • OrG

      FUCK YOU wsj.

    • Kryptonian Canis

      Try that shit and it’ll be torches & pitchforks as far as the eye can see.

    • clubseal

      It’s unclear to me how Congress could be trusted at all to conduct criminal investigations.

      • UnsaltedSinner

        Why do you hate America?

      • Kryptonian Canis

        That’s the beauty of this whole plan, they wouldn’t! And all with semi-plausible deniability.

    • IdRatherBeDancing

      LOLOLOL –please take that advice cause issuing indescriminate pardons was one of the articles of impeachment against Nixon for obstruction of justice. This is what happens when a Murdoch acquires a publication and drives away all of the adults in the room.

    • IdRatherBeDancing

      Can someone please lay the wood to the WAll Street Shitter about Uranium One — that was not illegal and indeed passed unanimously CFIUS. They are flop sweatingly trying to conflate the two. If I could post the emoji middle finger I would.

  • wide_stance_hubby

    Geez, that must be one very long line she’s doing to fortify herself. . .

  • What’s taking her so long, it’s not like she’s about to walk down the aisle with Don Jr or anything.

  • vivian

    Someone please help the lady in red, she seems lost.

  • AnnieGetYerFun

    Try the veal!

  • Three Finger Salute

    33%. Always a turd of the country backing him.

  • Zippy W Pinhead

    Straight out of the box- Don’t bail now, GOP or you won’t get your tax cuts!

  • bbayliss

    Taxes! That’s the ticket.

  • lowenufc

    What are the best shoes for a perp walk, Ms. Sanders?

    • IdRatherBeDancing

      Comfortable ones — duh.

  • Sarah is nervous.

  • William
  • Nounverb911

    “WE HAVE A RUNNER!”

    –Logan

  • AnnieGetYerFun

    OMFG, she is so condescending. And I’m OK with the richest reporter footing the bill for the beer.

  • bbayliss

    Numbers are hard!

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸

    If you drink every time she makes one of those lemon-sucking faces, you’d be drunk a whole lot faster, just sayin’.
    https://img.huffingtonpost.com/asset/5975f8482100003700fc8580.jpeg

    • Belasaurius

      i can’t fap to this

      • Martini Ambassador 🍸

        Nobody can. It’s scientifically unpossible.

  • Tom65

    Indictments? What indictments?

  • The key to lower taxes is to order first at the bar.

  • writersbloc

    This fucking analogy……

  • Jennaratrix

    What the FUCK is she talking about?

  • William

    A (fill in the blank) walks into a bar joke?

    • bbayliss

      squint eyed liar?

  • bbayliss

    MATH!

    • AnnieGetYerFun

      We were told there would be no math.

      • bbayliss

        I’ll set ’em up , you know what to do.

      • NellCote71

        And thus I became a literature major.

        • Three Finger Salute

          So which one of us is supposed to clean the Fry-o-Lator?

          • NellCote71

            Don’t make me play the James Joyce card.

  • Distemp

    What the fuck is she even talking about?

  • AnnieGetYerFun

    DRINK FOR FREE. THAT IS NOT AN ANALOGY FOR LIFE YOU STUPID HOG FUCKER.

    • FukuiSanYesOta

      I feel bad for the hogs.

    • SeriousSummer

      Did someone say free drinks? I’ll have some.

  • Proud Liberal

    What the fuck is she talking about?

  • Bill D. Burger

    Surra’ Hildebeast has slathered on the eye make up and Crazy glued on full opti lashes today…..obviously gonna’ lie___A LOT!

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/2e2dae4e5b0ba2dd064b3752b94d034024f16905b84493b92c98e14cf9c45c74.jpg

  • TimResistit

    Story problems! This is a new tactic.

  • under_score

    you have got to be fucking kidding me with this

    • BosGrl

      WTF is she even talking about??

    • NellCote71

      IK,R?

  • cheetojeebus

    She’s reading a fucking stupid email somebody’s octogenarian aunt forwarded to all her friends.

    • cheetojeebus

      and it’s still fucking going on…!!!!!!!!!111111

  • this is like a Sarah Palin greatest hits speech.

    • Belasaurius

      K-Tel presents

  • altleftjohn

    Squirrel!

  • Sashineb

    Good gawd, what IS she going on about with that beer story??

  • Belasaurius

    dAFUQ?????????

  • doggiedaddy

    Is this bitch trippin!?!?!

    I’ll compare the tax bill to a bar tab!!!

    W
    T
    F

  • UncleTravelingMatt

    Okay, but one reporter makes 250K and three make minimum wage and three are part-time and one is unemployed, so, maybe you should stop trying to do math.

  • Joe Beese
    • Alan

      And these guys are so fucking stupid…. Betcha no self respecting Russian spy is on that wire, just a bunch of fucking morons.

    • TimResistit

      Oh man. Please lord, tell me he was wired.

  • vivian

    Is this New Math?

    • Mary Theresa

      Beer math.

    • Belasaurius

      Is it that Base 10 shit?

      • Three Finger Salute

        The metric system? I thought we issued a travel ban against Canada?

    • AnnieGetYerFun

      COMMON CORE

  • AnnieGetYerFun

    I would give a couple of toes if the press would just get up and leave right now.

    • Alan

      Fingers. Toes are more necessary than most people believe.

  • MynameisBlarney
  • proudgrampa

    Holy fuck. WHAT is she even talking about right now???

    Reporters in a bar????

    She is unhinged.

  • Slithytoves

    WTF is she talking about?

  • It’s a bedtime story, of sorts.

    Goodnight Donnie!

  • Beautiful Soup

    Is there a shoe thrower in the house?

  • AnnieGetYerFun

    Yes, that is the real problem. If you hurt the feelings of the rich people, they will go somewhere else.

  • Covfefe’s Evil Twin

    Don’t lecture me on taxes you fucking cunt!

  • doggiedaddy

    When do the priest and rabbi enter the bar???

    • laughingnome

      They’re drinking in Panama

  • Joe Beese

    What color is that muumuu?

    Fuchsia?

    • BosGrl

      She’s wearing her Marge Simpson necklace.

    • NellCote71

      Pepto Bismol vomit pink.

      • PubOption

        Or, since Thanksgiving is approaching, Susan Stamberg’s cranberry relish

  • Everrett Fanuelli

    “And here comes SHS to the podium to…….And she’s down!!!!”

    https://media.giphy.com/media/YjADHW7bgsJMI/giphy.gif

  • calliecallie

    At this point I think I might start drinking overseas.

  • vivian

    This is about the dumbest diversion I can imagine.

  • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

    There it is. THe story was to illustrate the tax cut lie.

  • TimResistit

    IF A TRAIN LEFT BALTIMORE AT 8:18 HOW LONG WOULD IT TAKE BEFORE I HANG MYSELF BECAUSE OF STORY PROBLEMS?

    • NellCote71

      Depends if Hillary is the conductor.

  • an eye for a jedi

    Nice story about the reporters going out for a beer.

    She forgot the part where the 10th reporter was getting paid 500x more than reporters 1-5

  • Jennaratrix

    I can’t watch this. Let me know when she starts ducking reporter questions.

    • writersbloc

      NOW!

    • bbayliss

      You’re smart!

  • AnnieGetYerFun

    I can see reporters behind that guy smirking their faces off.

  • Tom65

    You can see it coming: one question from One America News, then she’s outta there.

  • Bill D. Burger
  • Covfefe

    I am not allowed to drink yet because I have to pick up my daughter at five or six tonight.

    • Alan

      I just left mine. Wife was pissed.

    • BearGHAZI

      you’re allowed to abuse aerosol duster just for the purposes of this press briefing

    • Robbertjan Brandenburg

      7 PM here so I am watching this shit with beer and kebab.

    • RMKH

      You’re gonna have a LOT if catching up to do.

  • William

    Nothing to do with the Trump campaign?

  • TheGrandWazoo2

    Petty in Pink

  • doggiedaddy

    Sarah Huckleberry sounds like she’s been doing field research on drinkin!!

  • UncleTravelingMatt

    Wait, clear evidence? Why doesn’t she turn it over to Mueller?

  • Mary Theresa

    Hillary….clinton….drink

  • Jennaratrix

    There it is. “Today’s announcement has nothing to do with the President.”

  • NellCote71

    Hillary . . . Russians. Drink.

    • proudgrampa

      WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
      HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
      Thought we’d never get there…

  • bbayliss

    This changes nothing? really? c’mon

  • Nounverb911
  • vivian

    He was a volunteer!

  • under_score

    A volunteer, doesn’t count, ROTFL

  • William

    So other than the arrest of Trumps campaign manager, this has nothing to do with the Trump campaign https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/d26e27bfa674728eed3893a5c2e09cc37223f8629c3df3fe5e631e52a5eb6ffd.jpg .

    • Alan

      Actually sums it all up rather nicely.

  • bbayliss

    Calling the turnip truck, turnip truck please

  • Mary Theresa

    We hardly knew them.

  • tomamitai

    Clearly Hillary colluded with the Russians to affect the election, how else did she lose?

  • Bill D. Burger
  • cheetojeebus

    Lying raccoon gonna lie.

  • Robbertjan Brandenburg

    George Papaletmypeepeeloose had a very limited role. Whahahaha!

  • OrG

    Don’t believe her, she’s lying.

  • Bill D. Burger
  • OutOfOrbit

    A Ferry Tail!

  • Panika MCD

    that story at the top: all of the people going out for beers are reporters and some of them are super wealthy and they don’t know how to properly budget for beers and they are filing their taxes while they are drinking beers at a bar?

    • msanthropesmr

      I blame marijuana.

    • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

      Are pretzels involved?

      • Panika MCD

        peanuts. because: this is a fucking circus.

    • Covfefe

      Reporters are like those “scientists” who take George Soros money to spread the myth of global warming. Reporters, of course, cost more.

  • doggiedaddy

    She’s nuts.
    This isn’t fun anymore.
    She needs a reality check.
    Shit is getting real
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/664c8c32f571de63eb5bd357760981b555cd05606b6706033cded2addc62b345.jpg

  • Jennaratrix

    WHY ARE THEY SO FUCKING NICE TO HER? My god, ask an actual tough question for fuck’s sake.

    • Marion in Savannah

      They feel sorry for her — it’s not nice to mock the afflicted.

      • Covfefe

        Thoughts and prayers, Sarah.

      • Jennaratrix

        You know what? No. She’s not a victim, she signed up for this. Hammer that bitch to the WALL.

        • eka

          i think they’ve gotten tired of even trying to have any questions answered honestly.

          • Jennaratrix

            I’m no journamalist, but even just asking the tough questions gets them out there; and then you have evidence of her not answering them. It’s still news. Do news. DO SOMETHING, as a wee little toddler man said recently.

          • eka

            oh, i agree. it’s their job to do that and we need them to do that. but they just don’t seem to bother and while some probably never did, i do think many must be kind of giving up, feeling helpless in the face of blatant lying. must be difficult to last in such a situation.

          • Jennaratrix

            Maybe. I get pissed, though. The constant lying and obstruction doesn’t make me feel helpless, it gives me a healthy jolt of righteous indignation. I’d like to see some of that in the press corps.

  • Bill D. Burger
  • Belasaurius

    why do they ask these questions when they know she won’t answer? Is it fun for them to watch her flail around like a common Palin?

    • OrG

      Yes.

  • Nounverb911

    Has she yelled at anyone yet?

  • WiscoJoe

    Not sure “tax reform whataboutism” is the best strategy to take on a day when a former campaign official is indicted on massive tax fraud, but I guess that’s all they’ve got left.

    Like, “Hey, let’s pass a law so people like Manafort can legally avoid paying taxes.”

  • William
  • AnnieGetYerFun

    I THOUGHT HE HAD THE BEST MEMORY EVER, SARAH

    • Nounverb911

      He forgot about that.

      • Three Finger Salute

        “I don’t recall” -Some D-List celebrity Republican president with dementia

        • Khavrinen

          So…
          All of them, then?

  • House0fTheBlueLights

    I’m going to dye my hair and then vacuum (I have no life, or job that keeps me occupied for an actual 8 hour day). When I get back, I want SHS to have been driven to either tears or creative cursing. ok, sys.

  • Swampay

    Are those really her eyebrows?

  • Nounverb911

    UHOH someone’s on their way to fire Mueller…
    https://twitter.com/markknoller/status/925055330580606977

  • Bill D. Burger
    • Asterix

      The face of inbreeding, too, also.

  • Covfefe

    Sarah’s mouth is dry already and her throat is tight already. You can hear it.

    • doggiedaddy

      thank gawd

    • Sister Suffragette

      Yep. Not so cocky today.

  • memzilla Ω
    • FukuiSanYesOta

      Oh, don’t give them fucking ideas.

  • calliecallie

    What did he know and when did he know it?

  • BearGHAZI

    “This presidency just sort of happened, no one really had anything to do with it, no one told me, I’m not sure of the specific date.”

  • msanthropesmr
  • Reporters are in the top 1%?

  • Belasaurius
  • OrG

    Question- who picks out your clothes?

  • Sister Suffragette

    She’s nervous.

    • Martini Ambassador 🍸

      She should be. They allllll should be.

    • Jennaratrix

      She should be. She should also be making some plans.

      • IdRatherBeDancing

        Like hiring a lawyer?

        • Old town Urbandale

          Like signing a contract for a tell-all book?

        • Jennaratrix

          That’s a start. That, and open up a GoFundMe for her defense, and also too, her prison commissary account.

  • BosGrl

    Thousands of photos with MILLIONS of people. We can’t keep track of who goes in and out of the White House and where they might be at any given time, geez!

    • Three Finger Salute

      “Biglier crowd than Nixon”

  • Nounverb911

    They’re being typed out right now….
    https://twitter.com/markknoller/status/925055975840800768

    • FukuiSanYesOta

      She personally has had none, which is kinda expected. Does she know of any? Bet your ass she does.

  • IdiotsforPalin

    I refuse to watch the potato sack with pearls…….that lazy eye creeps me out.

  • Jennaratrix

    You guys, we’re breaking Disqus. This is GREAT.

    • Three Finger Salute

      I know, they just logged me out for no reason. Did I get deported or something?

  • Bill D. Burger
  • Upright Ape

    I’ll see your Manafort and Papawhopalous and raise you a Jared and a Lil’ DonDon.

  • Ms.MLG on Maui

    The winning I was promised has finally begun!

    • OutOfOrbit

      YOU again !

      • Ms.MLG on Maui

        You love it!

        • OutOfOrbit

          *hiding behind door*

  • bbayliss

    Photographic evidence!

  • Audrey Carangelo

    slack jawed yokel

    • OrG

      Cletus libelz!

      • Walter Wellstone

        Jethro’s libulzzz also too!!!1!!1!!

    • BearGHAZI

      “Some folk’ll never lie for Trump,
      but then again, some folk’ll
      like Sarah, …..”

  • Tom65

    Papadapolous? Who dat?

    • Msgr_MΩment

      ex Clinton spokesperson. Clearly a Clinton plant.

  • Bill D. Burger
    • proudgrampa

      Kinda like Dorian Gray?

  • Moebym of the Returners

    Hahahaha. The wingnuts were SO SURE it’d be HRC, but it’s really Manafort and his underling.

    I’m sure they’ll just think it’s another conspiracy by the lying MSM and Crooked Hillary to mask her crimes, or some shit like that.

    Sucks to be them.

  • under_score

    Wishing I had “volunteer” on the bingo card

    • Mary Theresa

      Was “I don’t know” on the bingo card?

      • NellCote71

        I think it is under the “I can’t speak for someone else” slot.

      • WotsAllThisThen

        That’s the free center square.

  • Kryptonian Canis

    This individual was just a volunteer. We don’t even know him!

  • bbayliss

    They met once…OK

  • Nounverb911
  • calliecallie

    I really hope Pappadopoulos has plenty of dirt to dish on all of them, just to shut Sarah HS the fuck up.

  • doggiedaddy
    • Antonin Dvorak

      I guess Mueller is going for the diagonal win.

  • Carpe Vagenda

    I would call that dress fuchsia.

    Actually, I would enjoy calling that dress fuchsia.

    • proudgrampa

      I THINK I see what you did there.

      But that’s not how “fuchsia” is pronounced…

      • Carpe Vagenda

        I know. But it’s still fun to say :)

        • proudgrampa

          Remembered a OLD joke about two girls planning a trip to France to watch the Grand Prix.

          One says to the other: “But that’s not how it’s pronounced!”

      • Marion in Savannah

        [snerk] Years ago a woman who worked with my mother in NYC in the Public Affairs Dept. of DuPont, dealing with fibers and fabrics, actually was convinced that it was pronounced “fuck-sha.”

        • proudgrampa

          BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

    • cheetojeebus

      I cerise what you did there.

      • Carpe Vagenda

        Aw, you red me.

        • cheetojeebus

          Yes indeed, I rose to the occasion, didn’t i.

          • Carpe Vagenda

            I blush to admit it.

          • cheetojeebus

            I won’t wine further.

          • Querolous

            It would be a cardinal sin.

  • bbayliss

    More tax questions please.

  • Angela Ruzzo

    One thing we know Sarah is NOT doing while she is behind the curtain and making everyone wait is verifying her facts.

  • BJW

    Those dark eyelids sure make her look…not so good.

    • Manders

      I maintain that the person who does her makeup hates her.

      Some days it’s improperly blended highlighting . . . others she looks like a trashier Cruella de Ville.

    • Angela Ruzzo

      The camera loves some people, and other people it hates. I’m afraid Sarah is in the second category. I know that I can look VERY GOOD in natural or incandescent light, and then I look in a mirror somewhere with fluorescent lighting, and I look like an unburied corpse.

      • BJW

        I have a nice face BUT as an old functionally disabled woman, I’m fat. So some pics look better than others. I like the pink of SHS’s outfit but it’s not really flattering. Although I guess it’s good that a non-blonde, non-thin woman can be in such an important position. But dammit, she’s evil along with the rest of the criminals so there’s that.

        • Angela Ruzzo

          Plain pink would be flattering for her, but hot neon fuschia pink flatters very few women. I used to have a dress that was a soft baby pink, and every time I wore it I got tons of compliments, but I would not wear hot pink at my age (61). Deep magenta or red is OK. Sarah needs to read “Color Me Beautiful” and pick 4 colors that are good for her, and stick to them. It worked for me.

  • BosGrl

    SOMEBODY CHALLENGE HER FFS!

    • TimResistit

      See? This is exactly why I won’t watch these live.

    • Sister Suffragette

      No kidding — these idiot reporters had so much time to prepare, and this is the best they can do?

      • BosGrl

        Joy would eat her for lunch.

        • Covfefe

          Raw. Joy ain’t the particular.

          • Skeptical_thinker

            Raw! Raw! Rah!

  • Bill D. Burger

    Just want someone in the back to shout, “Show us your tits!” ___ No, I sure don’t wanna’ see em’, but it would be a welcome diversion.

    • bbayliss

      NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

    • BearGHAZI

      No sir. She would much prefer that sort of abuse, compared to an actual question

      • Bill D. Burger

        Yup! It would only encourage her.

    • Ling Ling

      Wait for Mardi Gras. Assuming she still has the job.

    • OutOfOrbit

      you need some quiet time

  • Panika MCD

    a) an advisory council is not a small campaign position.

    b) he wasn’t answering the phones in Deluth. what’s this “just a volunteer” bullshit?

    c) technically, everyone involved in a campaign is involved in a voluntary manner. there is no one forced to be on a campaign. this excuse is horse shit.

    • under_score

      The president had pictures with *millions* of people!

  • bbayliss

    FAKE INFORMATION!

  • Skwerl the Nazi Puncher

    Clinton, Clinton, Clinton.

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸

    Don’t know him, never heard of him, he was just a volunteer.
    https://twitter.com/kylegriffin1/status/925016626923220993

    • RMKH

      An excellent guy that I don’t know and have never met.

      • Khavrinen

        Never even heard of him before today.

        • Angela Ruzzo

          He forgot him because he can’t pronounce Papadopoulos.

  • msanthropesmr

    I’m still waiting for Uh, Clem to break the president.

  • Joe Beese

    They’re not trying “innocent until proven guilty”, even half-heartedly?

    Sorry, Paul. Six-two-and-even, they’re selling you out, sonny.

    • RMKH

      Good, that’ll make him turn sooner.

    • OutOfOrbit

      bogy?

  • UnsaltedSinner
    • Rotisserie Teal

      Can’t go wrong with a Baghdad Bob reference.

      I lubs me the classics.

      • Blanche de Shambles

        Baghdad Bob has much better fashion sense than Sarah.

  • Panika MCD

    no, oppo research is normal.

    taking meetings with foreign agents who say they have intelligence compiled by a foreign government on your opponent is not normal.

    hiring people who are literal foreign agents on your campaign is also very not normal.

    • Crystalclear12

      Well, he is very new at this, you know.

      • Panika MCD

        but Manafort is not. this is why it is a thing.

        • Crystalclear12

          How about:
          He’s going to pivot?

          • Skeptical_thinker

            His only pivots so far have been multiples of 360 degrees.

    • jowgajen

      If we don’t like campaigns spending money to pay foreign nationals for information that’s detrimental to their opponent then we have some options:

      1. Pass a law against it.
      2. Don’t nominate motherfuckers who are dirty in the first place.

      • Panika MCD

        we do have laws against paying foreign nationals for oppo research.

        • jowgajen

          Well, if Dems broke them, then we should face the music, too.

          • Panika MCD

            Dems didn’t break them. they hired a firm to do oppo research. they had no say over who that firm hired. not saying that’s how our laws should work, but they do get plausible deniability unlike people who met with Russian lady lawyers about BOUNCING RUSSIAN BABBIES and other people who met with Julian Assange.

          • jowgajen

            That was my impression, too. The Reps see their party going down in flames and are trying to bring us with them.

            But, I’m objective enough to consider the possibility that politics in general may have gotten too dirty, too focussed on a result rather than a set of principles.

          • Panika MCD

            some of the GOPers are too busy dragging the rest of their party that plays by the rules down to drag us down. they’re just trying to “BOTH SIDEZ DUET!” the situation.

  • Bill D. Burger

    Surra’ Hildebeast: “You call the Preznut’ a larr’ one more time and my brother will come over and kill your dog.”

  • UncleTravelingMatt

    Paying a former English intelligence agent for opposition research and meeting with Russian spies are qualitatively different, you horrid bitch.

    • Carpe Vagenda

      Her father hid victim impact statements to help free a serial rapist who later raped some more and then killed a lady because one of his victims was a distant Clinton relative. To this day, Huckabee likes to suggest that the Clintons tried to have him killed.

      Like almost nothing else that family has, she comes by it honest.

    • Timothy Watson

      Yes, meeting with the English intelligence officer was way worse because Clinton did it.

  • Crystalclear12

    This is the kind of press conference you have when there is no plan B.

    • Daniel

      That’s not fair. I’m sure Child Sexual Assault Defender Mike Huckabee and his wife wanted Sarah.

      • IdiotsforPalin

        I think her real mother is Kim Davis……

        • Three Finger Salute

          And her pappy is Ted Nugent.

          Quick! Find her birth certificate!

    • Khavrinen

      Heck, the way the Trump administration acts, you gotta wonder if they have a plan A.

  • bbayliss

    JUDGEMENT!

  • doggiedaddy
  • Panika MCD

    why does Sanders always look like she just smelled a fart?

    • Skwerl the Nazi Puncher

      Her father.

    • Beautiful Soup

      And liked it?

    • bbayliss

      think about it

    • Daniel

      The only thing she hates more than liars is people who know she’s a liar.

    • Alan

      That’s a setup?

    • Bub, the cynical zombie

      Umm…because she just farted?

    • SeeTrain65

      “She who smelt it …”

    • Saxo the Grammarian

      Saaay, you know who else looks like they just smelled a fart?

    • Robbertjan Brandenburg

      she smells her upper lip.

  • Michael R
    • Kryptonian Canis

      I think the dress color is a PSYOP attack on our retinas.

    • BearDeLaOursistance

      …Peeps libelz?

      This proves Wonkers can do anything we set our minds to.

  • Msgr_MΩment

    HILLARY PAID!
    Benghazi heroes didn’t get laid!

  • Joe Beese
    • BearGHAZI

      like a dog who shit the bed, but you’re not allowed to hit him with a rolled up newspaper

      • Joe Beese

        I read it as, “Every fiber of my being longs for the moment when I can safely stab you in the back.”

        • jowgajen

          I think blue eyed granny starver sees a path to the big boy chair from here.

  • Creepoman

    “This has nothing to do with the president.”

    Well, I guess that clears everything up. Let’s MAGA!

    • bbayliss

      MAGA Manafort and Gates Arrested

      • Three Finger Salute
      • Msgr_MΩment

        So that means he can resign now?

      • Persistent Tennessee Rain

        Stoled!

        • bbayliss

          Yup. I admit it.

          • Persistent Tennessee Rain

            Oh. I meant I stoled it from you :D

          • bbayliss

            ooops, I mean you’re welcome to steal it . I did.

  • William
  • SeeTrain65

    For a woman, she has some brass ones.

    • Rocket Pony Ron

      She’s been borrowing her father’s since he doesn’t seem to be using them any more.

  • Sister Suffragette

    I wouldn’t have expected April Ryan to waste her questions like that.

    • Asterix

      I don’t know how anyone in the press pool stays sane.

  • Pat_Pending

    “There were thousands of pictures with millions of people…” Sarah, that was the swearing-in ceremony. You’re confusing your lies.

    • RMKH

      Oh what a tangled web we weave…

  • Bill D. Burger

    Gawwddamn’ she’s so nauseating. Bring back Spicer.

    https://images-cdn.9gag.com/photo/aEBGeN9_700b.jpg

    • Pat_Pending

      That was from the old days, before she discovered spider-leg fake eyelashes and Ulta smokey-eye solutions…

      • Bill D. Burger

        On the days when she’s really going for the gold in the “Lying Liars” category, she puts that stuff on with a Wagner Spray Painter.

    • Alan

      That’s meaner then the Uncle Fester one. Which was remarkable BTW.

  • Three Finger Salute

    Fuck you, 500 Internal Server Error. And the 499 other members of your family.

  • Kryptonian Canis

    See, it’s not collusion if you’re doing it for free!

  • Nounverb911
  • UncleTravelingMatt

    Thank you, foreign reporter.

  • OrG

    Are her pants on fire?

  • under_score

    only the best people hired lol

  • Skwerl the Nazi Puncher

    I am not aware of the conversation that has been all over the news all morning.

  • clairence

    “We had no reaction because it had nothing to do with us”.

    That repeated claim will come back to haunt them.

    • NellCote71

      From your lips to Mueller’s ear.

      • Rocket Pony Ron

        Oh, I think he already knows.

  • Everrett Fanuelli

    Sarah Huckabee Sanders= WORST GARBAGE PAIL KID CHARACTER EVER!

    • Rocket Pony Ron

      Yeah, nobody wants her card.

  • I wish a clever reporter would have brought a rooster to the press briefing so it could crow when Trump (via his spokesperson) denies knowing Manafort.

    • ScottGoode

      hahaha.

    • Rocket Pony Ron

      Doesn’t he have to do it three times?

  • Panika MCD

    so she’s not going to answer the “best people” question?

    • Skwerl the Nazi Puncher

      Hahahahahahahahaha!!!!

  • BearGHAZI

    “Can you comment on fucking anything?

    • BosGrl

      “I already answered it, geez Louise! What was the question, again?”

      • OutOfOrbit

        my upvoter is overheating

    • under_score

      I haven’t spoken to myself about that

    • Joe Beese

      I used to rag on Uhura for that.

      Every other episode, she’d touch that metal thing in her ear and say she was unable to raise Starfleet.

      You can never raise them!

      • TheFamilyThalamusPersists

        Her hailing device was clogged up with AquaNet.

      • Nockular cavity

        “I can’t hear Starfleet at all, Captain. I have this fucking metal thing in my ear.”

  • TheFamilyThalamusPersists

    “Look…” **ALWAYS** precedes horseshoe from the horse face.

    • Alan

      It also precedes SQUIRREL!

  • bbayliss

    Investigate the investigation

  • ariel_gee_398

    You know what’s hinky? On March 6, 2016, Papadopoulos finds out he’s going to be a foreign policy advisor – based on what qualifications I couldn’t tell you – but that info wasn’t made public until March 21. Yet on March 14, 2016, he happens to meet a professor in Italy who lives in London, just like him, and just happens to have lots of connections to Russia. That’s a hell of a coincidence.

  • Ωbjectifier

    Pink dress on a blue background. That’ll piss off the camera crews.

  • Nounverb911
  • ScottGoode

    That Scottish guy had a good question but not good delivery. Can he take a mulligan?

  • Vincent Ricola

    I hope both SHS and her dad end up in jail for assisting treason.

  • Belasaurius

    is it over or did we just break the internet?

    • Nounverb911

      Putin pulled the plug?

    • TheFamilyThalamusPersists

      It”s over. She cut it off and walked away.
      Dun,dun, DUN!

  • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

    Blenders spin less than SHS right now.

  • IdiotsforPalin

    All the girls think she’s guy…she’s got Marty Feldman eyes…………

    • TheFamilyThalamusPersists

      i loled.

    • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

      Yellowbeard Libelz!!1!1!!

  • eastcoastlib

    Ten reporters go into a bar, they all get drunk and someone pays with their corporate amex card which is then written off as a business expense by their corporate overlords the end.

    • ScottGoode

      So what I am hearing is we need to cut corporate taxes.

      • eastcoastlib

        Well of course but we also have to make the unemployed bike messenger at the end of the bar pay for the overlords drinks because drunk rich people are more special and deserve special sauce poured over them by the government

        • ScottGoode

          Well of course. The overlords are the messengers of Republican Jesus.

  • clairence

    She’s getting tripped up on her lies.

    • Rocket Pony Ron

      She’s losing her touch. She used to be able to tell ten, twelve conflicting lies in one press conference and get away with it.

      • clairence

        because nobody cared enough to follow up on them later.

  • Three Finger Salute
  • President in Exile Firefly

    I think we broke Disqus…

  • Bub, the cynical zombie

    “Well, that was a good job Sarah, the President is pleased. Go out to the Rose Garden now – Kellyanne just dumped a pail of fresh, warm swill in your trough.”

    • Beanz&Berryz

      SHS likes her feedin’ time…

      • Bub, the cynical zombie

        SHS: “Ah shore do!” *grunt, slobber, fart*

        • Beanz&Berryz

          Sniff. Sniff. hmmmmm

  • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

    Whatever did Evan do to deserve the punishment of this live blog? Or is he nuts enough to have requested it? Both?
    It would be irresponsible not to speculate.

    • Belasaurius

      he has to be drunk and unconscious, his lab licking his face and nuzzling him

  • writersbloc
  • Panika MCD

    because 0 people in polling considered adjustments to their polling models?

  • memzilla Ω
  • bbayliss

    No You have a good day

  • TheGrandWazoo2
    • UncleTravelingMatt

      Shouldn’t those rocks be on fire?

      • msanthropesmr

        In a dumpster.

    • Ωbjectifier

      Is that where Bunny Spice is hiding?

    • MynameisBlarney

      That looks like the entire GOP since 2008.

      • Alan

        1980.

    • eastcoastlib

      That’s a picture of Flynn’s house. He has a lot of work left to do and he better hurry because they’re coming for him next.

  • writersbloc

    Well that cleared everything up.

  • I just hope these indictments don’t distract the members of the cabinet from their mission to destroy their respective departments.

  • altleftjohn

    Well, I guess that clears everything up.

    • bbayliss

      Perfectly innocent.

    • Rocket Pony Ron

      Yup. Nothing to see here.
      Glad she sorted that out for us!

  • under_score

    Well *that* was an abrupt ending. No doubt leaving to go get answers to some of the questions she could not answer

    • BosGrl

      Oh for sure. She’s thorough.

      • bewareofme

        *snort

  • msanthropesmr
  • Panika MCD
    • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

      SMOKE BOMB!

      • Panika MCD

        FART BOMB!

  • BearGHAZI

    I always feel so ripped off when these things are over. It’s like a hooker that gives you an STD

    • NellCote71

      At least you theoretically had a good time with aforementioned hooker.

    • SeeTrain65

      And steals your wallet while you’re passed out.

      I’ve said too much.

      • eastcoastlib

        There’s a song called Trick Roll Betty. If I wasn’t so drunk already I would look it up and post it,

    • TimResistit

      Yeah. I want my money back, frankly.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      “In the beginning it’s a pleasure, and then it’s a pain in the dong.” — Oscar Wilde

  • clairence
    • under_score

      Thank you for finding that!

    • bbayliss

      William F. Buckley Jr. also reprinted and analyzed a version of this piece in his 21 April 2001 column for the National Review, noting only that the “parable just came in from a friend, via the Internet,”

  • proudgrampa

    BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    • Ms.MLG on Maui

      You are reading my mind!

    • Saxo the Grammarian

      Why such a long time span on the plaque there?

      • Beanz&Berryz

        2018 is a long ways away, in Trump Administration years…

      • Cause as much horse shit as she spews it’ll take at least until Jan or Feb to get most of it out?

  • Everrett Fanuelli
  • Michael R
  • IdRatherBeDancing

    Hmmmm — short briefing — I can smell the flopsweat from the WH at my office at 16th and K.

  • UncleTravelingMatt

    Time to go find myself some volunteers to do . . . things.

    • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

      Who knew that they could be so useful?

  • Joe Beese

    O/T: I can forgive Gwyneth Paltrow a lot for this choice of Halloween costume.

    https://www.instagram.com/p/Ba1wvKjHI-8/

    • bbayliss

      $49.95

    • Dr. Rrrrrobotnik

      Is it sad that this costume made no sense to me because I completely forgot that she was in that movie?

      • ltmcdies

        I had to think for a minute and then I laughed and laughed

  • Rocket Pony Ron

    So how many ‘Clinton’s did she say? I had a bet with the housemate.

    • Mary Theresa

      I stopped counting after 12, but that included a few journos saying Clinton.

  • arglebargle
  • BigCSouthside

    At what point is this bitch a co-conspirator

    • bbayliss

      day one

  • Portia McGonagal

    And how many of those beers did melty face Huckabee have because she had to be drunk to stand up there and spew that shit.

    • Notreelyhelping

      She seems the mimosa type…. What am I saying? Lite beer. Coors Lite.

      • altleftjohn

        Arkansas moonshine.

  • Msgr_MΩment

    Goebbels is spinning in his grave.

    • Three Finger Salute

      He’s just trying to cool himself off while he’s burning in hell.

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸

    The Clinton Administration is the WORST
    https://twitter.com/LOLGOP/status/925058849383571457

  • William
  • goonemeritus

    It must take a lot of pressure off a Press Secretary if there is no expatiation of honesty.

  • beingreleased

    I was glad they asked her about Trump saying he only hires the best people.

    • CripesAmighty

      Well, when your frame of reference is a sweepstakes parlor in Queens…

  • TheFamilyThalamusPersists

    Why didn’t someone nail her ass to the wall when she said they weren’t concerned with the polls because they were the same polls the said he wouldn’t win – when HE DIDN’T FUCKING WIN?
    jesus.

  • disqus_lWwzrwNaw6

    Where’s Mike Pence while this little Sarah circus is going on? Huddled in a closet with both fists stuffed into his mouth so nobody can hear him laughing, and laughing, and laughing? Is Mother pressing his swearing-in suit yet, or are they waiting for another sign from God?

  • clairence

    Papadopoulos was Carson’s foreign advisor for several months prior to joining Trump campaign. Is this related to why Carson got a Cabinet position running an agency he knows nothing about?

    • WotsAllThisThen

      Seems like it wouldn’t take much to keep him quiet. A comfy desk and glass of warm milk.

      https://i.ytimg.com/vi/J1jC1qGuPm4/maxresdefault.jpg

      • Beanz&Berryz

        TV stage lights seem to do the job, also too.

      • clairence

        awww, he looks so peaceful….

      • TheFamilyThalamusPersists

        Man, he is the weirdest public figure I can think of. I feel compelled to revisit his Bad Lip Reading episode.

    • Rocket Pony Ron

      Doesn’t explain all of the OTHER Cabinet posts filled with people who don’t know anything about them.

      • clairence

        I would guess DeVos is because of her brother, whose mercenaries Trump probably wants as his personal army.

        • Rocket Pony Ron

          Sadly for Donnie, her brother already knows he doesn’t pay his bills. Mercs don’t work for IOUs.

      • Noxious Resistance

        “Who can we nominate that will REALLY piss off the Liberals?”
        Every. Damned. Post.

  • Bill D. Burger
  • Nounverb911
    • SeeTrain65

      So, naturally, GUILTY AS FUCK.

    • OutOfOrbit

      I smell a court trial

      • bbayliss

        I smell a deal

        • Rocket Pony Ron

          ‘I plead not guilty.’
          ‘You do know we have Papadopoulos, right?’
          ‘… guilt with an explanation?’

          • C4TWOMAN

            “The devil made me do it. Can I go now?”

    • Crank Tango

      Anybody know how many years Manafort is looking at?

      • OutOfOrbit

        about a million, i think, purdy sure, yeah, i dunno, mebbee

        • C4TWOMAN

          Less a couple of ice ages.

      • Nounverb911

        AOT,K.

        • Crank Tango

          Sounds about right.

      • Mary Theresa

        Not enough.

      • clairence

        I saw somewhere earlier an estimate of maybe 75yrs, with all charges running consecutively. Of course, it could be none. Some of those penalties are “jail OR a fine”.

        ETA: other estimates at >110 years.

        • Crank Tango

          I wonder how quick Putin would get to him if he sings.

          • C4TWOMAN

            “Thank Jesus you’re here to rescue me!”
            “Not exactly Comrade.”
            *futt*

    • ariel_gee_398

      Lucky for them a plea can’t be used for a perjury charge.

  • wide_stance_hubby

    I think she did amazingly well. Who among us could do better, knowing it was only a matter of time before someone in that room was going to notice the smell, and the puddle?

    • Beanz&Berryz

      Or pile.

      • wide_stance_hubby

        Not to be too graphic, but I doubt anyone connected to Dolt has had a normal bm for months. It’s just stress blasting.

  • goonemeritus

    SHS should just take a knee.

    • Robbertjan Brandenburg

      To the chin.

      • TheFamilyThalamusPersists

        I guffawed mightily.

        • Robbertjan Brandenburg

          With votes of course.

          • TheFamilyThalamusPersists

            Nah. With guffaws. :)

    • Msgr_MΩment

      That’s Hannity’s job.

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸

    The brain damage caused is just as real
    https://twitter.com/CharlesPPierce/status/925059086600802304

    • bbayliss

      CHARLIE!!!

    • jowgajen

      The blindness is only temporary. Usually.

  • Carpe Vagenda
    • bbayliss

      Who’s winning now morherfucker?

    • GreenGoldSharpie

      I’m looking forward to the tweets on this.

      • David Chaillou

        Squirrel…

  • Bill D. Burger
    • JohnBull

      I’d feel sorry laughing at this if she weren’t supporting evil and working against everything this country has done to be great.

    • Nockular cavity

      “Come play with us, America. Forever and ever and ever!”

    • Noxious Resistance

      Ahhh! Cannot unsee!
      Help me, baby goats!

  • FlownΩver

    So, let’s play ¿Quién es orificio anal más grande?“:

    1. Ari Fleischer
    2. Ron Zeigler
    3. Sarah Huckabee Sanders

    • Msgr_MΩment

      TDE,K.

    • RMKH

      I think Sarah is making up the stagger against Ziegler and may pass him before the week is out.

    • Noxious Resistance

      4. Tony Snow

  • Douglas White

    1) There were never any meetings between any members of the Trump campaign and anyone connected to Russia.
    2) Any meetings between any members of the Trump campaign and anyone connected to Russia was outside of their role in the campaign and had nothing to do with the election.
    3) Any meetings held between members of the Trump campaign and those connected to Russia which DID have to do with the campaign only covered non-controversial issues like the adoption of Russian orphans by US citizens.
    4) Any meetings between members of the Trump campaign and those connected to Russia which concerned campaign issues such as gathering dirt on Hillary Clinton were just very preliminary inquiries that went nowhere.
    5) Any meetings held between members of the Trump campaign and those connected to Russia are no different from what Democrats did, and have not resulted in any criminal indictments or convictions of members of the Trump campaign.
    6) Any meetings held between members of the Trump campaign and those connected to Russia which DID result in guilty pleas or convictions are only convictions of people who weren’t around very long and can hardly even be described as members of the campaign….

    …. we have now moved the goalposts so much that both are in the same end zone. That sounds normal, right?

    • William

      You forgot Russian baby adoptions

      • bbayliss

        Nope it’s in there.

      • Douglas White

        #3…

        • William

          Oops. Curse you speed reader course.

          • SeeTrain65

            You should sue Evelyn Wood for every cent she’s got! ; )

          • Douglas White

            Evelyn can give me wood any time…

          • SeeTrain65

            (rim shot)
            (cymbal crash)

          • Douglas White

            OK, so do I now make a ‘rim’ joke, or do I not? Hmmmmmmmmm……

          • William

            Too soon for the what kind of wood doesn’t float joke?

          • bewareofme

            Evelyn Woodhead
            (Cheech and Chong album from the 70s)
            Sped Redding Course

          • eastcoastlib

            My redding has improv’ed

      • Three Finger Salute

        Rubber baby buggy bumpers
        Russian baby, ugly Trumpers
        Puppy monkey baby jumpers
        Vegan baby butthole dumpers

        • Christopher Story

          You win the internet today. That was awesome.

    • William
      • jowgajen

        High quality is code for “white” here, in case you missed it. He’s white guys, white. Look, white, and even rich, so you can just give him the benefit of the doubt now, ok?

      • Rocket Pony Ron

        Yes, Two Scoops, your son is completely transparent. In fact, we can all see right through him.

        • Christopher Story

          All the up votes!

    • SeeTrain65

      I think I saw the GOP goal post in the parking lot.

      • Douglas White

        Is that where the jailgating…. errrr… tailgating goes on?

      • Khavrinen

        … of a football field three states away.

        • SeeTrain65

          … and two towns over.

    • C4TWOMAN

      Why do you hate America?

    • bbayliss

      Apologies if you’ve seen this:
      I wrote this this morning,(JULY 20th) had to add #17 tonight
      a short history of ONE small aspect of this mess, the June 9th meeting :
      1. It did NOT happen
      2. OK it happened but we talked about adoption
      3. OK it was about Clinton, as the email said, but there was NO collusion
      4. Ok there may have been collusion, but it’s NOT a crime
      5. I knew NOTHING about it until I read it in the papers
      6. Ok maybe someone mentioned it in passing a while back
      7. There were 4 people at the meeting (that we said didn’t happen)
      8. Ok there were 5 people at the meeting that we said didn’t happen
      9. Ok there were 8 people at the meeting that didn’t happen, but they were all private citizens.
      10.Ok one of the people at the meeting had been in contact with the Russian state prosecutor, by her own admission. all the rest, private citizens.
      11. Private citizens who had NOTHING to do with Hacking.
      12. OK The alleged former Soviet intelligence officer who attended the meeting with top campaign officials last June was previously accused in federal and state courts of orchestrating an international hacking conspiracy. Akhmetshin told the Associated Press on Friday he accompanied Russian lawyer Natalia Veselnitskaya to the June 9, 2016, meeting with Donald Trump Jr., Jared Kushner, and Paul Manafort.
      13. So what? “coulda been China” doing the hacking. It’s not like I had ANY connection to anyone at the meeting.
      14.Ok the eighth person at the meeting was Ike Kaveladze, is an executive at a Moscow-based property firm owned by Aras Agalarov, a business associate of mine accused of 1.4 billion in money laundering
      15. OK My business partner sent a representative from Russia, but it was just “politics as usual” except with a foreign government which ISN’T illegal.
      16..OK it’s illegal, but WHAT ABOUT HILLARY?
      17. How do pardons work?

      • Laura

        Google is paying 97$ per hour,with weekly payouts.You can also avail this.
        On tuesday I got a brand new Land Rover Range Rover from having earned $11752 this last four weeks..with-out any doubt it’s the most-comfortable job I have ever done .. It sounds unbelievable but you wont forgive yourself if you don’t check it
        !dg295d:
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      • John McLaughlin

        But Hillary had a private email server!

    • Covfefe

      Manafort was a volunteer also too. Didn’t take a salary. (just like Papadopoulos.)

    • Alan
    • Christopher Story

      That was fun

    • CeeQ

      At this point – we can look forward to SHS saying with a straight face that this individual “Donald J Trump” had nothing official to do with the Trump campaign, was a low level unpaid staffer who went rogue. Next question!

  • TheGrandWazoo2

    She might as well answer questions with “the dog ate my homework.”

    • Daniel

      The dog her brother’s never met.

  • TJ Barke

    You’re lucky that lying ain’t a crime, suckabee…

    • Proud Liberal

      They need to scrap these press briefings. It’s all a waste of time.

      • MynameisBlarney

        I like to see them squirm though.

    • William

      Actually it is. If you lie to the FBI you can go to jail. Ask Martha Stewart

      • IdRatherBeDancing

        or George Papadopolousexpyalladocious

  • Aaron Wise

    “Christian”?

    Smoking Satan’s scaly dick ain’t no way to get into yer heaven.

    Signed,
    Jeebus

  • Joe Beese

    MSNBC reporting that Gates is being represented by a public defender.

    In Salt Lake City you had to show need before getting assigned one.

    • Alan

      Russians never paid him?

      • Skeptical_thinker

        He’s hoping that the feds can’t find his ill gotten gains. He is wrong to hope that.

    • doggiedaddy

      Public Defender?
      Oh, hell.
      Just go right to prison now.

      • cmd resistor

        I’d go with a federal public defender before I would one of Trump’s paid goons.

    • Ωbjectifier

      Better call Saul!

    • Donkey Option

      Didn’t Trump claim he was going to cover lawyer costs for all of his peeps caught up in the Russia investigation? That went out the window quickly.

      • cmd resistor

        Gates isn’t one of his peeps…..Just a friend of that guy Manafort, who is he, now?

        • Donkey Option

          This pleases me. Nothing like throwing people under the bus to inspire loyalty! I’m sure no single person in his administration will make a deal to save their ass after this :)

          • cmd resistor

            I mean a peep in the sense of those WH schmucks who will get stuck with legal bills if Trump doesn’t pay (which means they will get stuck with legal bills).

          • Noxious Resistance

            Its gonna get treacherous in the WH now!

          • cmd resistor

            Actually apparently he did do some stuff from the campaign and then moved on to some Trump organization that is now denying it ever knew him.

  • Nounverb911
    • SeeTrain65

      Oh, she’s done, all right.

    • Rocket Pony Ron

      Does Fox Business have a segment called ‘Unfunny Dad Jokes’?

      • Antonin Dvorak

        That is the name of the entire primetime block.

      • SeeTrain65

        Just one section of their “Unfunny Jokes” series.

    • proudgrampa

      What? The Huckabees are fucking unhinged.

      • William

        Geeez, ya torture one dog to death and you’re branded for life.

    • William

      I lost track. Is the Huckster one of the Goobers that the Almighty told to run for President?https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/0536cad3ae2916975c3e3b4995c0b9be22706d775ad67785d28e6d535e618223.jpg

    • QHarp, Mujer malévola

      I *knew* Sarah was just Mike in a wig!

    • Viktor

      Ask Mike about Wayne DuMond’s guitar playing

    • OrdinaryJoe

      Hey Mike. Why does that boy of yours hate dogs?

  • coozledad

    The mood in the White House has to be approaching that of the Court at Versailles, when Louis XIV was gangrenous with diabetes and sat at the dinner table stinking of shit. It just won’t no fun anymore.

    • wide_stance_hubby

      When it’s not good to be king anymore.

  • JMP

    Does Sanders also claim that there’s “clear evidence” that Hillary Clinton bragged to Billy Bush about being able to get away with sexual assault and has the world’s most ridiculous comb-over, too?

    • Kryptonian Canis

      I mean, really now, is Michael Steele now a Russian somehow? Did Buzzfeed travel back in time and publish the dossier in time to influence the election?

      • Three Finger Salute

        Michael Steele is the Uncle Tom guy at the RNC.

        The Steele Dossier guy is named Christopher Steele.

      • JMP

        That actually seems to be the Trumpites’ bizarre claim, that somehow hiring a guy to conduct opposition research in which he discovered evidence of Donald’s collusion with Russia is actually itself somehow a form of colluding with Russia. I don’t think they’re able to come up with a defense more coherent than, “I’m rubber, you’re glue, whatever you say bounces off of me and sticks to you!”.

  • MynameisBlarney

    Well…

    Papadopoulos lied to FBI on same day turmp demanded loyalty pledge from Comey.

    https://www.rawstory.com/2017/10/george-papadopoulos-lied-to-fbi-agents-the-same-day-trump-asked-comey-for-loyalty-pledge/

    • Crank Tango

      Hey, it was worth a try.

    • Noxious Resistance

      Hmm…wut a co-inkeedink!

  • Three Finger Salute

    FOX NEWS ALERT: Sarah Huckabee-Sanders devours Google with this one weird trick

    Nothingburger Kings: Internet hilariously mocks Fox News for covering “cheeseburger emoji” story while Russia scandal blows up on Trump

    Hey Fox! Where’s the beef?

  • Aaron Wise

    If I were in South Korea…

    I’d be fucking runnin’ for it – like my butt’s on fire runnin’ for it.

    NK is about to get stirred up by the world leader me thinks.

    • Ling Ling

      This is the obvious next provocation for the cornered Trumpolini. Worked for Bush Jr.

  • natoslug

    Can’t wait for the WH switch board tomorrow when they switch to answering with “new phone, who dis?”

  • Nounverb911
    • MynameisBlarney

      What a fucking twunt.

    • SeeTrain65

      Jeanine first. In the nearest laughing academy.

    • miss_grundy

      Actually, Jeanine Pirro needs to be locked up at the Psychiatric Institute at Columbia-Presbyterian Hospital for observation. She would probably then spend the rest of her life in residential treatment.

  • Viktor

    Someone should ask Sarah why her brother David hates dogs so much.

  • Bub, the cynical zombie
  • jesterpunk

    There’s clear evidence of the Clinton campaign colluding with Russian intelligence to spread disinformation and smear the president to influence the election.

    So they are going with the story that Hillary worked with Russia to rig the election so she lost?

    https://media.tenor.com/images/7a940ba7f131f51a0b80dabc0fdb2774/tenor.gif

    • JohnBull

      So she can come back in four years, win, and take all our guns!
      SHE PLANNED THE WHOLE THING!!!!! WAKE UP SHEEPLE!

      • Noxious Resistance

        I read it on the internet, it must be true!

    • IdRatherBeDancing

      AOI,* K
      *It

  • Nounverb911
  • AnnieGetYerFun

    A fucking third of this country approves of Trump. ONE THIRD.

    • disqus_lWwzrwNaw6

      Keep in mind that it’s ONLY a third when you look at state after state being taken over by the dark money Republicans through gerrymandering, voter suppression, subversion, and outright electoral theft. Without the states of the old Confederacy–the Solid South that switched from Democratic to Republican because they flowed where the racial hatred flowed—-they wouldn’t even have a third.

    • Three Finger Salute

      I think that’s where support for the crazy bottoms out. A turd of the country supports fascist local milk boy in Canada, and I believe Shrub left office in the low 30s too.

    • JohnBull

      A third think Jesus spoke English and the planet’s 6000 years old, too. This is why Republicans are afraid of free college–imagine their kids actually learning shit about the world and opening their minds. They’d never speak to their Republican folks again, let alone voting like them.

    • Alan
      • Notreelyhelping

        And statistics show 6% of that one-third have narcissistic personality disorder themselves and probably see Trump as a role model.

        • Alan

          And the other 94% of that one third are too fucking stupid to vote.

          • tinker12

            The problem is that the stupid fks among us DO vote; especially if they’re Bible-humpers.

          • Alan

            Right. They shouldn’t be allowed to.

          • Notreelyhelping

            Never assume that they can’t recognize an ‘R’ next to someone’s name.

    • bbayliss

      Nixon’s approval by republicans never dropped below 50%

      • AnnieGetYerFun

        Nixon was an asshole. But he wasn’t as stupid as Trump.

    • Persistent Tennessee Rain

      Yeah, but it’s the bottom third, so there is that.

    • miss_grundy

      But they are the one-third who will blindly vote for someone because they have an R after his/her name. And while we think of all of them as being stupid, there are a lot of them who are not. They just refuse to vote for anyone outside of their political party.

      • SnowBomber

        Actually, it’s worse. His approval rating among Republicans is still in the high 70s. The 32 percent factors in the Democrats, Independents and the other 20-whatever percent. It’s mind-boggling.

      • AnnieGetYerFun

        In our defense, that DOES seem kind of stupid, though.

      • george lastrapes

        I can sorta empathize, being a yeller-dawg Democrat.

  • IdRatherBeDancing

    HRC is so diabolical that she colluded with the Ruskies to have them steal her campaign manager’s and the DNC’s emails, while holding onto that fancy Steele Ree-Port, all to lose the election so that DJT could be elected President and then impeached on trumped up charges of collusion.
    FUCK — not only is she a serial killer but a diabilical criminal genius.

    • Antonin Dvorak

      That is so diabolical, I can imagine Frank Underwood even being impressed by it.

      • Three Finger Salute
        • Notreelyhelping

          “I…I…I…was drunk at the time! And gay!”

          • Three Finger Salute

            Tess McGill would like a word with him…

            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FTHoIehOkK0

          • miss_grundy

            He has always been very good at playing rotten characters.

            And I think it was an open secret in the entertainment industry that he was gay. It doesn’t take away from his being a terrific actor.

            But Anthony Rapp has always come across to me in the roles that I have seen him in, especially now in Star Trek: Discovery, as being a petulant child. He came out as gay at a time when it still wasn’t acceptable and, I think, he may believe that his career suffered because of it. He then sees Spacey, who has never openly come out, having a great career and I think he is envious of his success. And while the encounter that Rapp had with Spacey was bad, it seems juvenile compared to what young women went through with meetings with Harvey Weinstein, James Toback or Roger Ailes.

      • bbayliss

        When he’s not molesting children.

  • SeeTrain65

    FOX NEWS IN THE FUTURE:

    “President Donald Trump (D)”

    • Three Finger Salute

      Hopefully, Fox won’t exist in the future either.

    • Aaron Wise

      Beautiful

  • Nounverb911
  • Miles Monroe

    Do we also have official Wonkette permission to smokes weedzes during the daytime today, too … ?

    Because we already have.

    • The Militant Homosexual Agenda

      That old, “easier to ask for forgiveness than ask for permission” tactic comes in handy, a lot, doesn’t it?

  • Covfefe

    Judge is in chambers meditating on conditions of bail. FWIW, the circuit justice for DC is John Roberts.

  • cmd resistor

    Thank you for watching. I can only handle so much.
    OT, the rest of Trump’s schedule today (after lunch/ice cream with Pence and Sessions) is a 3:30 meeting w/Mattis, and White House Halloween on the Lawn with Melania. I feel sorry for the Halloween kids.
    This does give Trump lots of tweet time, or TV time, or both.

    • CripesAmighty

      He’ll be fine. Fox and Friends is back to the scourge of cheeseburger emojis again.

    • Charon_69

      Did you see the footage of him with the press corps’ children yesterday? It was mortifyingly uncomfortable…

      • cmd resistor

        It makes me too sad to watch him with kids, especially remembering Obama. Just the still shot of him with some costumed kids in the Oval Office was bad enough. Apparently he handed out candy and made a stupid remark about they could have it because they weren’t overweight.

      • miss_grundy

        He doesn’t like the White House press corps and, by extension, he doesn’t like the children. I wonder how many of them had temper tantrums when they found out they had to attend.

  • William
  • Joe Beese

    Mueller’s bond: $10,000,000

    • OrdinaryJoe

      Probably has that much buried in his yard.

    • Covfefe

      In your dreams! The prosecutor doesn’t have to post bond. It’s the defendant who has to post bond.

  • Notreelyhelping

    Why, after hearing this, do I have Monthy Python’s “Spanish Inquisition” bit playing through my mind? “Our four reasons for innocence….”

  • cheetojeebus
  • bumfug

    You have to love the way Sarah mystified reporters when she opened by dramatically reading one of her crazy uncle’s deranged emails.

    • SeeTrain65

      But her dad has so many!

  • Skeptical_thinker

    OT: For some reason I found this freecycle offer hilarious

    From : XXXXX
    Date :
    Sun, 29 Oct 2017 19:33:21 +0000

    OFFER: Green velvet fainting couch – with 2 bites out of it (Hudson near Lake Boon) I love this fainting couch and it is in good shape – except that my puppy took two big bites out of the seat cover and foam upholstry. If you want to repair it OR just cover the seat with a blanket for a pet or basement, it is an excellent piece of furniture. Please indicate firm

    pick up time in reply.

  • UncleTravelingMatt

    Do White House correspondents even think about what they’re going to ask before she walks into the room? Do they prepare in any way for her to be the slightest bit evasive? They are terrible at questioning her. A complete fucking joke.

    I understand that their role — and their questions — are different than what a lawyer does. Still, if my lawyer was that unprepared for an answer as asinine as “he was a volunteer, so he doesn’t count,” I would fire his ass.

    He was a volunteer. C’mon. That is ridiculous. Do you really expect the American people to accept that there was zero difference between this guy and some college kid handing out flyers in Dubuque? How does this low-level volunteer manage to get multiple meetings with high-level campaign staff? How does he end up on this advisory council? Do you really expect us to believe the campaign was so dysfunctional that it staffed a foreign policy advisory group by taking the first 15 people to raise their hands?

    Questioning someone is not that difficult if you learn how to do it and if you prepare. I don’t understand why the press always looks completely flat-footed.

    • Khavrinen

      Because anyone who actually asks real questions doesn’t get invited back?

      • The Militant Homosexual Agenda

        But what if they ALL asked real questions?

        • Khavrinen

          The next week the only people allowed in would be from Faux, DeadBreitbart, and [LackOf]InfoWars.

      • miss_grundy

        That should be a badge of honor. Josh Earnest used to be put through the grinder more than what they are doing to this chick.

    • Aaron Wise

      The first rejoinder from any of the press corpses should be:
      “why did you just lie to us again?”

  • Joe Beese

    “I have managed Presidential campaigns around the world,” Mr. Manafort wrote. “I have had no client relationships dealing with Washington since around 2005. I have avoided the political establishment in Washington since 2005.”

    “I will not bring Washington baggage,” he added.

    Mr. Barrack passed Mr. Manafort’s pitch to Ivanka Trump and her husband, Jared Kushner, who were Mr. Trump’s closest advisers, as they are now.

    Ms. Trump printed it out for her father — who hates reading documents online — along with Mr. Barrack’s recommendation that Mr. Manafort be hired to manage the Trump operation at the Republican convention in Cleveland.

    https://www.nytimes.com/2017/04/08/us/to-charm-trump-paul-manafort-sold-himself-as-an-affordable-outsider.html

  • Covfefe

    Amy Jackson, the designated trial judge, is going to have to disqualify herself. She was appointed by Barack Hussein Obama.

    • William

      and she’s Mexican right?

      • Résistance Land Shark Ω

        and she has a vagina also too?

        • William

          Which you can grab if you’re a star and have tic-tacs.

          • Maggielle

            All of this is why I’m bringing my pink pussyhat out for autumn…and I’m going to sew some teeth on it. All shall fear me.

        • Wookie Monster

          She can’t be objective when’s she’s bleeding out of her wherever.

        • Alan

          Ayup. Hysterical judge.

  • ltmcdies
  • Aaron Wise

    Fox News – BREAKING:

    Trump Slams Manafort Indictment As Irrelevant To Russian Probe – Calls For Hillary Clinton Investigation

    Fair And Balanced yo!

    • Jay Hansen

      Bare and fallanced.

  • rocktonsam

    “my all time lows are always the biggest, believe me”

  • Joe Beese

    No inkling. No inkling. You’re the inkling.

    https://twitter.com/StewartWood/status/925059893513551877

    • Crank Tango

      If there’s no inkling, there was no tinkling?

      • vivian

        Trump puts the inkling in the tinkling.

        • Christopher Story

          Keep that up and somebody’s gonna leak

      • Weird Fishes

        My tinkle did recently reek of inkle, but I blamed Messican foods.

      • I’m pretty sure that poor Russian mattress would beg to differ. One can only hope that it will eventually have its revenge upon the person who paid to have it defiled.

        (In other words, release the pee tape.)

    • William
    • miss_grundy

      Everything old is new again.

  • Bub, the cynical zombie

    Trump to Manafort: “No hard feelings, huh Paul?”

    https://media.giphy.com/media/xTiTnEArNhDj3C4r1S/giphy.gif

  • Aaron Wise

    PODESTA UNDER FIRE

    Headline.

    Guess what media empire has this as a leading story?

    • ltmcdies

      oh FOX FOX…..predictable as cowshit in a cow field.

    • Persistent Tennessee Rain

      Yeah, Tony. Not John. These assholes need to be reminded that Jared Kushner’s dad is in prison.

    • miss_grundy

      Murdoch, Sinclair or both?

  • alpacapunchbowl
  • Ryan Denniston

    Politico right now. WTF! See? Both sides are exactly the same, except the Democrats are worst!

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/5a35b1cc830dc264b396c71bb071d81fb411f5f5dde51b1f1b6e9ee041c0222e.jpg

  • Bad Scooter
    • Ryan Denniston

      Trump likes rats who weren’t whacked by Hillary’s Death Squads.

      • John Thorstensen

        I believe that’s a possum.

        • GHERKINS du RESISTANCE!

          You sure? *Squints* That’s not Roger Stone, trying to lay low?

        • SDGeoff3

          Yup. Dead you know.

          • Miles Monroe

            Pinin’ for the fjords.

    • Ryan Denniston

      That’s not yellowcake he’s covered in is it? Another brick in the Uranium One scandal!

  • William

    Exclusive footage of Manafort turning himself in. https://www.facebook.com/tom.adelsbach/videos/10214703212196727/

  • Alan

    WTF is the cheeseburger emoji thing?

    • calliecallie

      Does it represent a nothing burger?
      (I am really starting to hate that phrase. I heard someone use if during a sportsball game this weekend. “He threw a nothing burger down field.” WTF?)

      • Alan

        No idea.

    • Sophie McMillan

      I am stunned i know this but I have kids so…..apparently Google placed the cheese in a place unacceptable to serial emoji addicts.

      • Alan

        Thank you. That’s important.

  • La forza del resistino

    In trying to raise bail $$$, keep an eye on Ebay for the Manafort pinkie ring collection sale, Collect them all.

  • Mary Theresa
    • SDGeoff3

      Speechless but not surprised.

    • Khavrinen

      Is this an actual hamburger, or are we still talking about the emoji ones?

      • Mary Theresa

        I’m not sure if it’s the same. It’s just a funny twit I found on the twitters.

    • Bad Scooter

      the Fux “news alert” from this morning about TRUMP TAX CUTS ARE AWESOME- when literally every other station was talking indictments https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/dc742617f87a89d45d0aa4adc1b6290be395214ff9ebcaabf4f35e6fc6286a6b.png – makes sense now that Sarah sang “99 Bottles of Beer and Reporters” to open the press conference with your crazy right-wing uncle’s fuzzy math and explain WHY TAX CUTS ARE NOT FOR POORZ!

  • Rok E Raccoon

    UH-1 helicopters have been seen shuttling Trump staffers from the roof of the White House. Several Republican congressmen were seen dangling from the skids before losing their grip and plunging into the Potomac. President Bonespurs has been denied asylum in Russia and is currently begging North Korea to take him. Film at 10.

    • Crank Tango
    • CindyinEncinitas

      Manafort makes break for it and hurls himself toward the Huey. It looks like he’s carrying a… wait… is that a lamp and a chair and a ping-pong paddle?

    • Khavrinen

      “Losing their grip”? I’d expect Donnie TwoScoops to be stomping on their hands to insure his own getaway.

  • AJ Milne

    Jon Lovett nailing it yesterday on that podcast thingy he does: #LyinTrump’s game in claiming the Clinton campaign ‘colluded’, as bizarre as it is on the face of it, is, in probability, in part an attempt to lower the bar, and pull the standard false equivalency game he’s milked so far, so successfully.

    Essentially, the plan is: claim _everyone_ does this. So whatever coordination does turn up on his side, whatever quid pro quo, whatever sleaze, however illegal, however appalling, he’ll be waving his tiny hands wildly, trying to misdirect, trying to spin it, at every turn, and, specifically, toward: oh, fine, but why aren’t they investigating _them_, too? He’ll be equivocating in any way, however bizarre, that someone doing opposition research through a firm that hired a former UK intelligence operative is somehow equivalent to whatever chicanery he was up to, however, in fact, utterly criminal…

    … all of a piece, recall. Up to now (picking only a _few_ highlights), it’s been: yes, yes, I haven’t released my taxes, yes, I’m the chosen candidate of a criminal foreign dictatorship, yes there’s a lot of stuff about suggesting they’ve some investment, yes I brag about sexual assault, yes I say ‘drain the swamp’ and then hire sleazy billionaire lobbyists interesting in hollowing out the regulatory regimes that _barely_ hold in check their most rapacious fever dreams, sure, yes, I #LyinTrump my #LyingOrangeAss off about anything and everything in defense of whatever hell the worst among us imagine, to the point that, sure, I’m ready to lie the poor and in need of healthcare to _death_…

    … but _she_ didn’t follow the government’s IT guidelines! Lock her up!

    • IdRatherBeDancing

      That may win in the court of public opinion or politics intrigue but not in a court of law.

    • Robyn Ryan

      Standard Russian ‘whataboutism.’

  • FlownΩver

    Verily I say unto thee, Papadopoulos who, now? [cue rooster offstage right]

    • paxpax

      But who will weep bitterly?

  • Christopher Story

    My two cents worth: smearing the president isn’t a crime. See: Obama.

  • Ricky Gay

    Thanks for the reporting! I myself cannot bear listening to Sarah Suxtobee Sanders.

  • House0fTheBlueLights

    OK, I’m back. Hair’s bright pink (pretty much the color of Our Sarah’s dress), floors are clean. Did she cry, or at least throw her WalMart grandmother’s pearls?

    • William

      She scratched herself in an unladylike manner and reminded us all that Trump doesn’t know any of these people, and Hillary colluded with Russia to lose the election so that later on she could have President Cheeto-clown impeached.

    • CindyinEncinitas

      Contempt was dripping and lies were flowing. Basic Sarah.

  • vivian

    With Sarah “I Shart Huckabees” Sanders, press briefings are reduced to
    “what does she not know and when did she not know it.”

    • Three Finger Salute

      “I Shart Huckabees” — omg, that’s fucking hilarious. You win the internet.

  • House0fTheBlueLights

    Here’s what they’re doing: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CaPgDQkmqqM

    • NotReallyHere

      This is so good! Everyone should watch it.

  • Dept. of Space Tacos

    wow, that quote from Sanders – who knew she had great big balls full of audacity.

  • FasterThanLite
  • Relativicus

    If you showed that picture to Trump, he wouldn’t recognize any of them as more than low-level volunteers.

  • UnsaltedSinner
  • ltmcdies

    Could have nothing to do with this investigation…I don’t know who or how court dockets get ordered but…

    https://twitter.com/BySteveReilly/status/925063641870856192

    • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

      Four. Count ’em, four.

      I lurves you, Robert Mueller!

  • Relativicus

    “about how Trump’s collusion is OK, unlike, Hillary’s “collusion,” which deserves the electric chair or something.”

    You think that’s something, wait’ll you hear the distinctions that will be made when Podesta gets brought up on similar campaign finance issues as Manafort.

  • alpacapunchbowl
    • MrTusks

      Craig was the hero we deserved, but not the one we needed back then.

      • Oblios_Cap

        Leave it to a Scotsman…

        • MrTusks

          He’s been a full-blown American citizen for some time. And he did it voluntarily!

          • Khavrinen

            His biography is titled “American On Purpose”, which says it all.

      • alpacapunchbowl

        I love Craig!
        I haven’t checked out that webseries he’s doing with his wife yet.

    • Maclare’s Castle o’ Crap 🏰

      My man Craigy Ferg!

  • Portia McGonagal

    Her facial expressions are like a live performance of a Picasso painting.

    • Suse

      Also, her constant shifting her weight from one side to the other is something liars do.

      • She’s not shifting weight, she’s shifting blame.

    • OMG!! Perfect!!

    • geoffalnutt

      Gahan Wilson!! Everything’s dripping.

  • UncleTravelingMatt
    • OrG

      Ooh, more intrigue!

    • Notreelyhelping

      Whooooo!

  • NastyBossetti

    I am going to see Pod Save America live on Thursday, and right about now, I feel like this is an awesome week for that. I will wear my Wonkette shirt.

    • Antonin Dvorak

      I wore my Liz Warren shirt all around town on Saturday; looks like I going to wear it again tomorrow.

      • Sophie McMillan

        Am wearing my It’s Mueller Time shirt. Got some socials and some smiles and one laugh

  • James Baskin

    Here ya go!

  • William
    • The Militant Homosexual Agenda

      Oh, that’s too good!!!!!!!

  • TundraGrifter

    That’s Pepto Dismal pink.

    • BJW

      I like pinks and purples. But not that shade on her. But I don’t like her so I can’t overlook it.

      • TundraGrifter

        I was recently complimented on a salmon-colored dress shirt. Ladies wear pink.

  • James Baskin
  • greyXstar

    Her eyebrows are so strange

    • They have to provide cover for her lying eyes.

    • GHERKINS du RESISTANCE!

      Every time she looks down at her notes, they pop up a little, almost like she’s constantly surprised at the bullshit written there.

      “We’re gonna say that? Out loud?”
      “SHUT UP EYEBROWS DON’T GIVE IT AWAY”

      • Master Contrail Program

        Soon she’ll be doing her pressers in those old people sunglasses and a balaclava.

  • Iron Monkey

    At this rate Sarah Huckabee Sanders is going to retire the Joseph Goebbels Memorial Propaganda Spokesperson Award by winning it every year.

    • OrG

      Don’t you have to be…. like… good to win awards?

      • BreakingDeadMen

        Didn’t you see Crash?

    • Viva La Tabula Raza

      The statuette is a little sculpture of Baghdad Bob.

  • Karen Shocket

    With all that’s going on let’s not forget a little 10yo girl in ICE captivity. #FREEROSA

  • Blackest Noobs

    collusion delusion

  • CindyinEncinitas
    • puredog

      “Making Attorneys Get Attorneys.”

  • geoffalnutt

    How now dumb cow?

  • Blackest Noobs

    O/T: Virginia Governor’s race

    nothing is set in stone, and it’s only a week away but Northam has a commanding lead over the GOP candidate Gillespie….apparently Eddy using Trump tactics and having Trump’s endorsement has done the opposite of granting him favors.

    Virginians for the most part are the smart southerners. we tend to read more than our other southern brothers and sisters, and oh yeah, we got a shitload of smarty pants brown skin people who would never fucking ever vote for Gillespie or anyone like him.

    • Michael R

      But the MS-13 gangs ???
      ( which affects no one’s lives in Virginia , but was prominent in Gillespie’s ads , as well as brown people taking school slots your children deserved )

      • Blackest Noobs

        yes children who were born or brought here by their parents cuz white rich people needs more seats at the table….yeah…i know…those Gillespie/Vogel/Adams ads were FOOLING NO ONE BUT DUMB FUCKING WHITE PEOPLE who weren’t gonna vote Dems regardless.

      • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

        Right. Nobody who lives in VA has ever heard of them. Desperate. Sad.

    • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

      And we’ve got the northern burbs which ain’t Southern at all. (Thank gawd for the northern burbs that aren’t southern at all!).

      • BJW

        You all are doing better than we are in Ohio! Good for you.

        • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

          Well, ya know, DC is as blue as they come and nobody can afford to live in the District so they spread out to the VA burbs and bring their beautiful shiny blue votes with them.

          • godsaidHA

            I’m from Arlington. Not “real” Virginia, as someone once told me.

    • Darrell Imaginarian

      Quinnipiac has looked pretty favorable for Dems. We’ll get an idea if they are on point.

  • armed_bears

    Thank you, Evan. And I look forward to whatever you will be writing late this evening, as well.

    • BJW

      Well, we’ve got to enjoy this for now. Because I don’t see Trump being able to restrain himself from firings and pardons too long.

  • Suttree

    Someone better strap a bottle of whiskey onto a carrier pigeon right quick, before Dok dies of radioactive stupid.

  • miss_grundy

    I only saw a minute of this presser before I had to change the channel. I believe she decided to push “tax reform” by telling some sort of story. I found that really dark brown eye shadow she was wearing a tad too distracting. She should really visit Macy’s and have one of the cosmetic company ladies do her face up for the cameras. They would probably put nicer make-up on her than the trowel that is being used on her right now.

    • msgypsy

      But her ex-boss Da MOOCH lurved dat hair’n’makeup!

      • miss_grundy

        But Moochie isn’t around anymore and what the heck would he know about make-up anyway?

    • SnowBomber

      Either Thursday or Friday, she was wearing an orange-y dress with pink lipstick. It was driving me absolutely freaking nuts. Every time she blinked and I saw those ridiculous broom fake lashes, then I looked at her stupid pink mouth, my blood pressure went up. I don’t wear a ton of makeup but even I know how to pick lipstick and those lashes have been bugging me since she started wearing them.

  • ltmcdies

    this is the shit the Russian eggbots are pushing today:
    https://twitter.com/conspirator0/status/925081110979141632

    • chimpevil

      He was Trump’s fucking campaign manager! Do these sociopaths really think this is going to fly??? (And please don’t answer that!)

  • whitroth

    Hey, did y’all read that Jared and some other high-level staffers made an UNANNOUNCED visit to Saudi Arabia last week, to talk “peace”?

    Question for the Wonketteers: does Saudi Arabia have an extradition treaty with the US?
    Follow-on question: would the Saudis find the Orange Shitgibbon’s taste in “cover everything in gold” high fashion?

    • BreakingDeadMen

      No and maybe

  • Johnnymoreno

    That was an extremely stupid person, sneering at her betters. I can’t even stand to watch that morose lump for more than a few minutes.

    Hurst went above and beyond the call of duty….

    • eggs ackly-wright

      Snarlin’ Sarah. What a dismissive, condescending asshole. And why haven’t we heard any more about Pickle?

      • Johnnymoreno

        Child labor laws were broken.

      • Mehmeisterjr

        Mueller is keeping his cooperation under wraps for now.

      • chimpevil

        She is damned ugly, and I am not talking her looks.

      • leslie

        where is hope hicks when u need her?

        • george lastrapes

          Changed her name to Ho Pix.

  • Trump’s Potemkin Village

    “By the way, you have official Wonkette permission to drink boozes during
    the daytime today, because it is a fun news day for the first time
    since sometime in 2016.”

    Yay! It IS a fun news day! I’m going to fire up my commercial popcorn popper too. Sit back, enjoy the show and maybe occasionally scream at the TV. I’ve really been avoiding the TV since the tail end of 2016. Trump and ilk make me sick to my stomach.

  • george lastrapes

    So what Sarah Chucklebot is saying is that Democrats colluded with Democrats. INOKIDDI- it’s not OK if Democrats do it?
    Whom the gods would destroy, they first make mad.
    Pride goeth before a fall.
    More quotes, Wonkestanis?

    • chimpevil

      Liar liar ugly pink dress on fire (please). That’s all I got.

      • Miss Dill

        Yeah, I’m no fashionista myself, but that dress is butt-ugly. God, those sleeves…

      • george lastrapes

        Not bad a-tall! Where’s *my* upvote?

    • Teto85

      “SHHHH, be vewy quiet, I’m hunting wabbits.”
      “I have a very bad feeling about this.”
      “Boom goes the dynamite.”

    • jim2011

      “”Politics is the Entertainment branch of Industry.”

      – Zappa

  • gratuitous

    Everyone on the Trump campaign was a volunteer, doncha know? You think Trump’s gonna start paying people at this stage of his kleptocratic career?

    • ExpatGirl

      Trump is supposedly a volunteer President.

  • BreakingDeadMen

    The idea that Manafort is a ‘volunteer’ makes it even worse. They didn’t pay him, so his loyalty is strictly going to be to the people actually paying him. That’s corruption 101.

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      This is the excuse for having manifestly unqualified Javanka in the WH, too. “Well we’re not paying them, so it’s okay for them to have security clearances and input on sensitive international issues”

      • BreakingDeadMen

        Right…how is it better they aren’t paid and subject to oversight? Oh, right, it’s FAR FUCKING WORSE

  • Trump’s Potemkin Village

    Each day it gets a little bit harder for the Hucksterbee daughter to do her job. Despite being raised by a lying preacher man who taught her the virtues of deceit at a young age, the Trump clown show takes untruths to a whole new level.

  • Tzipora Kaplan

    GUYZ I WENT OUT AND GOT DAY-DRUNK WHATS THE HAPS??

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      Sarah Sanders is A Idiot, Donald Trump is Teh Crook, All the President’s Men goin’ down, and not in the good way.

  • tehbaddr

    I rarely use the term, but it is applicable here. Dumb Cunt.

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      Nope. Still can’t use it. Especially if you’re not a girl. Think N-word, but for women.

      • Bammelam

        Sure he can use it. Just like anyone (including not-males) can use the term ‘dick’ as in ‘He’s a phucking dick’ . Please do not over-dose on PC

        • BearDeLaOursistance

          Of course, we can evade the controversy entirely by simply calling her an asshole. Everybody’s got one of those!!

        • House0fTheBlueLights

          Hi, check your privilege, dude, to use a so-called PC expression. Here’s some sensitivity training 101: if a member of the oppressed community says “don’t do that” then DON’T DO THAT.

          Calling a woman a cunt is EXACTLY like using the n-word to describe a black person. EXACTLY. It is a demeaning, cruel, loaded term meant to dehumanize. Calling someone a dick is crude, but will not induce the level of rage you will invoke from a woman if you call her or another woman a cunt. Think–would I use this word in front of my mother? So, if I may, stop being a dick.

      • leslie

        not if you are english…all purpose word over there….we are so squeamish……i say….d u m b c u n t….and i say to hell w it.

        • george lastrapes

          Victorians called it (the word) ‘the monosyllable’. The middle and upper classes, anyway.
          Did the fairer sex complain to their physicians about their monosyllables?

      • Petunia Cat

        👍🏼👌🏼

      • men can’t. i can and do all the time.

        • House0fTheBlueLights

          Maybe.

    • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

      To channel LizzieTish … neither warm nor deep.

  • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

    Raw Story:

    Speaking on MSNBC, a former Watergate prosecutor explained that a very thorough Special Counsel Robert Mueller has an “ironclad case” against ex-Trump campaign manager, and that the White House should be concerned that former Trump campaign adviser George Papadopoulos has been wearing a wire for months.

    “If I were the prosecutor, and I guarantee you Robert Mueller has done this, he’s had him out there wearing a body wire, playing dial-a-crook on the phone, trying to get recorded conversations to use as evidence against other people,” he asserted. “If I were the other people, and they know who they are in that information, I’d be extremely nervous right now.”

  • ExpatGirl

    My head is spinning. Could be the theory of how Clinton colluded with Russia to make Trump President…could be the day drinking.

    • george lastrapes

      Could be 11-dimensional chess. Goal: Rep party falls into an extremal black hole.

  • House0fTheBlueLights

    Best suggestion from my facespaceplace: at these briefings the reporters should just ask things like “What did the President have for breakfast” and “Has the President ever thought about getting a cat” and “what’s the President’s favorite room in the White House?”

    • Bammelam

      … and: what part of Ivanka does the like to touch the most

      • Bammelam

        … HE like …

      • House0fTheBlueLights

        You’re missing the point, which is to only ask completely frothy questions that have zero substance or relevance to current events, because you’re not going to get anything approaching the truth to substantive questions.

    • Smibo

      Her answers would still be non-responsive to the questions, and total lies anyway.

      • House0fTheBlueLights

        Exactly. But at least they wouldn’t be lies with consequences, and would further signal exactly how much respect we have for her and the administration.

  • DuchessD’Orleans

    There is something particularly bovine about that woman, with apologies to actual cows.

    • Nasty Candy Apple

      I think she resembles a shovel. Better check the long-form birth certificate.

    • moeman

      True enough but Hurst said she spewed some horse shit, which would make her a horse, full of shit.

    • MsEdgyNation

      I feel little bit sorry for her. She would almost be pretty, without the facial expressions and body language of a resentful 12-year-old being forced to stand in front of the class and give a book report about a book they didn’t actually read.

      • Petunia Cat

        That describes her manner to a T! And she really does not know how to dress. I always look like a bag of laundry myself but the rules for a business environment are black cocktail dress below the knee, or a tailored blazer. She can’t just go in DC to a shop, buy a blazer and have it tailored? There’s lots of other fat people like me who have tailored clothes. FFS. And her hair! Cut it short enough that it doesn’t split between the front and back of your shoulders, and use some fucking hairspray. Jeepers. But yeah she still will have that sullen body language. So why bother. 😁 Trump admin = shambolic.

      • CovfefeOfTheThoughtlessMind

        You just named the reasons why she could never be considered pretty.

    • Richard Linger

      Is there a special place in the ninth circle of hell for self-professed Christians that bear false witness multiple times daily?

      • Hm. I’d go with Malebolge, Circle Six. The Hypocrites march around in a circle, wearing and bearing a monk’s robe made of gold-painted lead.

  • chimpevil

    Tip the bartender? Who has funds for fancy bar drinking, Evan? I laid in a good supply of Wild Irish Rose on Nov 9 and I’ve nearly exhausted it on these Liefests alone.

    • Pax Americana Per Ars Smith

      You can’t get well without Muscatel!

      • CovfefeOfTheThoughtlessMind

        I just ordered an entire railroad tank car of MD 2020, the Wine of the Century.

        • Smibo

          I see your railroad car of Mad Dog 20/20, and raise you an ocean tanker of Red Lady 21.

          (Don’t even mention anything that starts with “Boone’s Farm”…)

          • CovfefeOfTheThoughtlessMind

            I will see your ocean tanker of Red Lady 21, and raise you a pipeline of Richards Wild Irish Rose.

  • Bammelam

    Sorry, can’t watch that . Not the fat-man-in-(way too much )-drag fHuckabee . I prefer to not barf at this hour … maybe later when I’m alone

    • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

      Oooh … a trans joke. Those are always hy-sterical!

      • Bammelam

        No, not at all, it’s NOT a ‘trans’ joke. It’s a ‘drag’ joke. Look up the difference

        • CovfefeOfTheThoughtlessMind

          Some folk apparently never got the memo … 30 YEARS AGO.

    • Pax Americana Per Ars Smith

      Yeah, you might want to watch the trans/body-shaming non-comments here.

      • Bammelam

        Can’t you read ? It’s not about ‘trans’

    • BreakingDeadMen

      Dina Martina libelz

    • doktorzoom

      While it’s not in the official rules, we don’t do “[rightwing lady we don’t like] looks like a DUDE” jokes here, because they’re insulting to trans people. The entire premise of the joke is that there’s something wrong or shameful about being trans, and that is not OK here.

      — Dok Zoom, Yr Friendly Neighborhood Comments Moderator

  • Manhattan123

    To hear Minnie Pearl at her press conference today you would think this Papadopoulos character just wandered in off the street and offered to volunteer to stuff envelopes and make posters.

    • Rags

      Putin is also just a volunteer in the Trump campaign. Nothing to see here.

    • HEY! No insulting Minnie Pearl like that! She was a fine entertainer! SHS is just depressing.

      • Rickyphoo

        She actually makes me long for Spicer. Or at least, Melissa McCarthy.

    • dshwa

      Hanoiabama Sarah strikes again.

  • Ducksworthy

    So. Trials next year. Treasonous behavior all over the fake news all summer. Convictions of various minions. MidTerms. Then 2019 Impeachment(s). The wheels of justice grind on. Gad.

  • BreakingDeadMen
    • Jukesgrrl

      I was singing that on Sunday for seemingly no reason.

      • BreakingDeadMen

        One of my favorites–about as good a shot of rock and roll as anybody ever made.

  • FelineMama

    Kinda looks like Ms.Hucklelberry is resembling Mel trump these days, around the eyes, mouth. I never turn on the sound, so I don’t hear her voice BS. The exasperating frown look, Is it the Trumph virus? ARRRGGGHHH! In her cloud bubble, she is sayin’ “Help, Help I don’t know how much longer.”

  • thixotropic jerk

    People this is what happens when you’re raised on a diet of squirrel meat. The brain and the conscience fails to develop properly. Plus all you ever have is the fashion sense of a 2-year-old. Cue the infamous family photos!

    • CovfefeOfTheThoughtlessMind

      And don’t forget, it’s right neighborly to present people you like with fresh squirrel brains. Thems’re gooooood eatin’!

  • guest

    Seth Abramson with a point-by-point take down of Huckabee-Sanders lies today:

    1/ Trump has no intention or plan to fire Mueller. FALSE. Trump told the NYT that if Mueller crosses a certain “red line” he could be fired.

    2/ The charges and plea announced today had “nothing to do with the President’s campaign or campaign activity.” FALSE. And here’s why:

    3/ Manafort lied to the FBI *while Trump’s Campaign Manager* and used his illegally gotten, Putin-linked funds to work for Trump “for free.”

    4/ So Trump was the direct beneficiary—to the tune of saving *many millions* in consulting fees—of the fact Manafort got money from Russia.

    5/ All Papadopoulos’ lies—which he’s plead to—involved high-ranking Trump officials, Trump campaign activity, and protecting Trump himself.

    6/ “There’s clear evidence” Clinton colluded with Russian intelligence. FALSE. This is false on almost too many grounds to mention. A start:

    7/ Clinton’s camp *continued* payments started by *Republicans* to a firm that contracted with *another* firm whose sources were *non-FSB*.

    8/ The dossier “influenced” the election. FALSE. Barring 1 article, the dossier wasn’t reported on in any significant way until January ’17.

    9/ The dossier “smears” the President. FALSE. Every piece of information in the dossier that can be confirmed so far *has* been confirmed.

    10/ Clinton’s camp didn’t know what research they would receive and had nothing to do with its collection. And—the FBI believes the dossier.

    11/ There’s been no evidence of Trump-Russia collusion. FALSE. Not only is the Papadopoulos plea a smoking gun—Sessions’ perjuries were too.

    12/ Indeed—both the ongoing secret sanctions negotiations between Trump and Russia and the GOP platform change were the result of collusion.

    13/ Papadopoulos is in trouble only for not telling the truth. FALSE. The WH implies the underlying activities were all okay. They werenot.

    14/ Papadopoulos plead to Making False Statements so that he *wouldn’t* have to plead to greater charges and *could* cooperate with the FBI.

    15/ There’s no “official capacity” in which the campaign was involved with Papadopoulos’ acts. FALSE—his actions were *campaign-sanctioned*.

    16/ The Manafort/Gates indictments deal with crimes in a time “well before” the Trump campaign existed. FALSE. Both were ongoing in 2015.

    17/ Papadopoulos had a “limited” campaign role. FALSE. He was a top adviser and a primary liaison to other nations on Trump’s Russia policy.

    18/ Papadopoulos went overseas for Trump and was one of the *only* NatSec team members kept on when the team disbanded in late July of 2016.

    19/ Papadopoulos was giving interviews on Trump’s Russia policy to Russian media as late—possibly later—than *late September of 2016*.

    20/ All told, George Papadopoulos worked for Trump for *at least* seven months of the eleven-month campaign primary/general “voting” season.

    21/ (Brief delay to do a media interview—will return to this thread shortly. Please share the *first tweet* in this thread in the meantime.)

    22/ Papadopoulos’ outreach on the Kremlin’s behalf was “repeatedly denied.” FALSE. At all turns he was openly, clearly encouraged by emails.

    23/ Papadopoulos had no role in extra-campaign outreach. FALSE—he went to Israel for Trump, talked to Russian media for Trump and much else.

    24/ And of course we know from his sworn plea docs that “high-ranking campaign officials” authorized him to speak to (other) Kremlin agents.

    25/ “We expect Mueller to conclude his work soon.” FALSE. Recent articles confirm Trump and his lawyers are battening down for a long haul.

    26/ Sanders says Trump’s last Manafort contact was in February. TRUE/FALSE? In this case it doesn’t matter—because it’s damning. Here’s why:

    27/ We were told Manafort called Priebus just before the inauguration—to urge Trump to release dirt on HRC—because he couldn’t access Trump.

    28/ The campaign wanted to distance Trump from Manafort *and the June 2016 Trump Tower meeting* by saying Manafort *could not access* Trump.

    29/ Today Sanders inadvertently revealed that Manafort was still able to talk to Trump—and we know his subject was “HRC dirt”—in *February*.

    30/ Sanders now says that Donald Trump can’t recall *anything* about his March 31st, 2016 meeting at Trump International Hotel in DC. FALSE.

    31/ Trump is always lauding his perfect memory and appears to have excellent recall for (for instance) any person who has ever slighted him.

    32/ Moreover, others at the TIHDC meeting have excellent recall: they told The Daily Caller Trump was “flattered” by Papadopoulos’ proposal.

    33/ Sanders says she’s had “no conversations” with Trump on pardons. FALSE. We know Trump has discussed the pardon power with his top aides.

    34/ Sanders: it’s “not clear how Sessions could be said to be involved” in the Papadopoulos case. FALSE—Sessions was the kid’s *supervisor*.
    35/ Moreover, Sessions received at least some—maybe all—of
    Papadopoulos’ March (and April, and May) emails. And he *heard him at the TIHDC*.

    36/ Sanders says she’s not sure when Trump first heard of the stolen emails. Possibly TRUE, but Papadopoulos implies it was in *April 2016*.

    37/ Sanders: the indictments/plea “don’t have anything to do with us.” FALSE. See preceding tweets—this is, simply put, an *outrageous* lie.

    38/ Papadopoulos “volunteered” for Trump’s NatSec Advisory Committee. FALSE. He was recruited by Sam Clovis; he didn’t come out of nowhere.

    39/ This push to make Papadopoulos—an unqualified kid in touch with Trump’s pal Millian—sound like a mere intern is absolutely *outrageous*.

    40/ Papadopoulos was *chosen* by Trump’s team, then *featured* by Trump in print/pictures, then *promoted* by Trump to a larger Russia role.

    41/ Trump’s NatSec Committee “met only once”? FALSE. They were in constant contact via email threads—so this is a *deeply* misleading claim.

    42/ “He [Papadopoulos] wasn’t responded to in any way when he reached out”—FALSE—for *months* he was responded to *throughout* the campaign.

    43/ Sanders says the dossier is “fake information” and the Clinton campaign knew that. FALSE. The dossier is substantially verified *and*…

    44/ …everyone who’s looked at the dossier, including Steele, Fusion GPS, FBI, and others in law enforcement have *believed it to be true*.

    45/ So the idea the Clinton campaign was in a position to know “false” a dossier that (a) is *true* and (b) the FBI believed true, is crazy.

  • eekahil
    • Kateaux

      Don’t ask. Just be glad you weren’t (I’m assuming) a little girl in the late 60’s – early 70’s.

      • H0mer0

        I had “Look Around Velvet” (the blonde one who had hair you could pull to grow long or turn a knob to shorten it. I think I got her around the time of the clackers, the big glass balls that we would “clack” together. I guess that toy was recalled because of big glass chips flying off into kids’ eyes.

        • Petunia Cat

          I had both of those! Clackers were hard plastic. Chrissy came in a magenta and green plaid nylon hostess gown. I hostess gown, for folks who don’t know, was a long floofy dress that grown women could wear at parties and I assume to pretend to be princesses.

          • CT14

            You had revised clackers. Original clackers were glass. They broke bones.

          • CafeenMan

            They went around my school one day and took all our clackers away and I never had any after that.

      • Petunia Cat

        The giant flesh coloured knob on her back! 😳😝

    • Petunia Cat

      😂😂😂 Is that the one where the hair grows? Because I had one that was in an even weirder dress.

      I know! Somebody needs to tell her “just get a fucking charcoal blazer and wear it with a white shirt, WTF?! It’s the fucking White House .”

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        Dumbald wants the ladies to wear dresses. I’m not shitting you.

        • Petunia Cat

          Good gravy! Well you can wear a skirt with a blazer. Of course you end up looking like a schoolgirl. Still better than what she’s doing now. Trump = shambolic.

        • Jukesgrrl

          And as much as I dislike her outfits, Sarah doesn’t look any worse than Kellyanne, who has tons more money.

    • mrripley43

      Wow, I’ve never seen a tent that color.

    • CovfefeOfTheThoughtlessMind

      Isn’t that a mumu?

  • godsaidHA
  • george lastrapes

    My Grandma, God rest her, always told me, “Don’t make ugly faces like that, your face could freeze and you’ll look like that for the rest of your life.”
    Surely Mamaw Huckabee warned her, and still she persisted……………………………….

  • azeyote

    are we sure it was the son who murdered the dog?

    • therblig

      yes. now, as for who ate it…

  • Boojum

    Here is another picture of that Trump approval rating poll, as imagined by our pet crocodile “Mueller” and his little bird, Trump. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/afff01a5dcdf2417c6cd092de12c74e7fddd535017f1766cef48c013d3470e24.jpg

  • Mehmeisterjr

    Q: Anything

    A (Sarah Huckabee Sanders): Lie.

    So, it’s always a lie.

  • jim2011

    Much prefer the hour & change of silence & a jpeg to the smarmy pink primate getting paid to idiotize her country’s political culture. Could’ve been a 3 if jpeg had been accompanied by a loop of “Horst Wessel Lied” for truth in advertising.

    2/10

  • rubikcube

    “Look hot pink!! Oh, your question? Yeah, fuck off. OK, guys I’d love to stay and talk like this all day, but I have to run.” – Sarah Huckabee Sanders

  • CovfefeOfTheThoughtlessMind

    Every time I see Hucka Hucka Huckabbee Sanders it looks as though her eyes, nose and mouth are attempting to escape from her lying face in three different directions.

    • goingohm

      I just figured that when an Arkansas midwife slaps you, by God you stay slapped!

  • CT14

    I kinda liked the pink flowy thing, but the black eyeshadow? What was that?

    I feel little guilt attacking her makeup because she’s got people to do this for her. Sarah, baby, your makeup people HATE you.

    • AuntyMaude

      In fairness, let’s discuss what the “gents” all wore in the Trump/Sessions/apparently nobodies meeting.
      1st, the guy to the right of Suckface Sanders made a bold color choice wearing light gray. A real standout whose jacket needs to be let out. The 6 guys to the left of Shit Smear Sanders must be the chorus. All dressed alike in dark blue with just a hint of interest in their hideous yet different neckties. The rest of the menswear is a sea of gray like the clouds that hang over the land since the second Tuesday in November 2016.

  • NotALiar

    Wait.. Evan gets a lunch hour?

  • Moar Wordz

    Damn those pearls look fake

  • Laura

    Google is paying 97$ per hour,with weekly payouts.You can also avail this.
    On tuesday I got a brand new Land Rover Range Rover from having earned $11752 this last four weeks..with-out any doubt it’s the most-comfortable job I have ever done .. It sounds unbelievable but you wont forgive yourself if you don’t check it
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  • Kurt Weil
  • Too Much

    Trump: “He was a low level volunteer, DO SOMETHING! I’M NEXT ON MUELLER’S HIT LIST! SAVE MEEEEEEE!”

  • John McLaughlin

    Sarah works for the American people. Think about that…she works for us and we pay her and she delivers horse shit and expects us to eat it.

  • The more ingenious she gets, the more makeup she needs.. love those lashes.. i mean eye lashes

  • venezia59

    WTF with that bizarre story about a bunch of reporters walk into a bar and it’s supposed to be a parable that will make us ALL understand Trump’s tax reform, but it was just long-winded ish designed to confound and befuddle in the name of “simplifying” things.

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