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Oh what a beautiful mooooooorning, oh what a beautiful day! I’ve got a wonderful feeeeeeeeeeeeling, ROBERT MUELLER IS FUCKIN’ PAUL MANAFORT’S SHIT UP RIGHT NOW!

(And also his sidekick buddy Rick Gates!)

Tell us, Washington Post, about how much trouble Manafort and Gates are in:

Former Trump campaign chairman Paul Manafort and his longtime business partner Rick Gates have been charged in a 12-count indictment with conspiracy against the United States, conspiracy to launder money and making false statements.

CONSPIRACY AGAINST THE UNITED STATES! Now, maybe we are just dumb, but is that part of the #MAGA message? We are just asking.

More from the indictment:

Paul J. Manafort, Jr., 68, of Alexandria, Va., and Richard W. Gates III, 45, of Richmond, Va., have been indicted by a federal grand jury on Oct. 27, 2017, in the District of Columbia. The indictment contains 12 counts: conspiracy against the United States, conspiracy to launder money, unregistered agent of a foreign principal, false and misleading FARA statements, false statements, and seven counts of failure to file reports of foreign bank and financial accounts.

Manafort and Gates surrendered to the FBI on Monday morning. (By the way, if Gates’s name is unfamiliar to you, that’s OK because he’s not in the news that much. He was Manafort’s “deputy,” though, and way back when Manafort was quit-fired from the Trump campaign, it was reported he was part of Manafort’s alleged illegal lobbying schemes for Ukraine. Read more about him, and about how he’s definitely been a presence in Trump’s White House, by clicking here!)

Let’s go to the White House for a reaction:

Snortin’ the good stuff this morning, aren’t ya, Mr. President!

Here’s a Trump-adjacent idiot, explaining what this news means:

Um, Manafort and his little buddy doing CONSPIRACY AGAINST THE UNITED STATES working for a pro-Russian Ukrainian political party (the Party Of Regions), secretly receiving $75 million for their services, and Manafort personally laundering $18 million of that money according to the indictment doesn’t seem like a “red herring” to us, so take your David S. Pumpkins “ANY QUESTIONS?” and cram it, Trump Idiot. (Seriously, read the indictment! It is wow! It says this scheme has been going on for TEN YEARS.)

The official White House line seems to be that this has nothing to do with the White House, and also who is this Paula Mansfield you are talking about? Indeed the White House has been acting like Manafort was some minor nobody in the campaign for some time now. A few reminders from former Justice Department official Matthew Miller:

UPDATE: Right on cue!

And hey, maybe Trump can get away with it for a minute, because none of these indictments specifically relate to the Trump campaign. Perhaps Mueller is using this to pressure Manafort to flip on Trump. There’s also talk that Mueller may have been up against a statute of limitations issue with these indictments, which could be why they came out now. So there could be more indictments against Manafort, and there will probably be many more for many other people. Robert Mueller doesn’t just put all the presents under the tree like a common Santa Claus.

Wonkette has been reporting on Paul Manafort’s weird Russian Ukrainian financial money laundering for a long time, and quite frankly, it’s vast and confusing and will break your brain. If you’d like to brush up on what a crimer Manafort (allegedly!) is, here are some headlines, to send you into a Wonkette Rabbit Hole Deep Dive:

Happy reading! And happy Mueller Time!

Follow Evan Hurst on Twitter RIGHT HERE.

Wonkette salaries, servers, and all of the things are fully funded by readers like you! If you love us, click here to fund us!

[Washington Post]

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  • Joe Beese

    I also expect to hear the phrase “ham sandwich” a lot today.

    • IdRatherBeDancing

      That’s prolly their best defense at this point.

  • Joe Beese
    • ManchuCandidate

      Fuck Greenwald

      • It was so much easier for Greenwald to pretend he’s not partisan when Democrats were actually running things. After all, you should be asking questions about those in power. He fooled me.

        • Carole

          I’ve been seeing that a lot lately. Assholes in my extended family who bitched relentlessly about Obama for 8 years, feigning independence from political party affiliation, are suddenly silent about government corruption.

        • Historicat

          Do you know how much harder things are now? There are swarms of grifters, TV blowhards, and politicians who were all set to dump on Hillary, investigate Hillary, and fundraise on Hillary. And then they had to dump all of their material and come up with new stuff. Unfair!

          • It feels like they’ve spent the last year just going down their Hillary timeline as planned.

      • Marion in Savannah

        Not with Manafort’s dick.

    • Delu

      Can anyone tell us how thoroughly and how long Emailgate and Benghazi were investigated?

      And how Trumpians are STILL calling for Clinton to be locked up over them?

      • Amy!

        Ahem.

        Whitewater. Travelgate. Vince Foster.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      Finally showing his true colors.

    • Me The People

      What a fuckwit.

  • Delu

    Not related to trump’s campaign now eh?

    So that little detail about how Trump hired him to head the campaign doesn’t count for anything?

  • ManchuCandidate

    It’s Treason Season.

    • JohnBull

      …for the sleazin’.

  • Timothy Watson

    And the indictment says the crimes were ongoing “through at least 2016.”

  • FlemmishSpy
    • Well that’s hypnotic.

      • Lascauxcaveman

        I’ve always wondered where pancakes came from.

        • Celtic_Gnome

          When a mommy pancake and a daddy pancake love each other very much…

  • laughingnome

    Flynn is still out there – he’s either going to be indicted or is cooperating.

  • Michael Smith

    Yeah they either need him to flip, or they need to prove to other potential witnesses that they are serious about threats to prosecute unless they cooperate. You need facts and proof, but you also need juicy testimony.

    We need facts to prove that Trump committed impeachable offenses. We need scandalous details, provided by Trump insiders, to convince enough of the public to force Congress to pursue those offenses.

    • Also pee tape. Never forget the pee tape.

  • The Wanderer
    • theblackdog

      Wow, that is some amazing talent

    • Cripes. I can’t even take a photo that isn’t blurry because my hands shake so much. I can’t imagine what it’s like to set up something so intricate and delicate.

  • Marion in Savannah

    Also too, George Papadopoulos has pled guilty to lying to the FBI. So he’s probably yodeling like a demented canary.

  • GreenGoldSharpie
  • TundraGrifter

    Mr. Trump only hires the best people. Just ask him.

    • GreenGoldSharpie

      The best at going to fuckin’ jail.

      • TundraGrifter

        Do not pass Go. Do not collect $200.

  • Joe Beese

    It does look like there was a goof in the indictment.

    According to the All-Knowing Wiki, Tymoshenko was Prime Minister of Ukraine, not President.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/9d03c5ef1cc5febe7254a15163a4e08f5cc0599398ebd9e8f29d86e907043a11.png

  • Sure, Madison. No doubt Manafort kept a good, professional wall between his decade of high-level crime and his job managing the Trump campaign.

  • Carpe Vagenda
  • Bub, the cynical zombie

    Paul Manafort in the D.C. FBI field office right now: “Okay, Okay! I’ll talk! I’ll tell you guys everything! It was Jared! And Don Jr! And the President! They made me do it! I didn’t want to! I swear I didn’t! I’m sorry! I don’t want to go to prison! Please stop! I can’t handle this questioning any more!” Manafort breaks down completely, blubbering and sobbing, an broken, tear sodden, pathetic shell of a man.

    FBI agent, disgusted and appalled: “Jesus man, I just asked if you wanted a cup of coffee…”
    https://youtu.be/YvHsFK_G_v8

  • Happy MuellerTime, Y’all!

  • Bill D. Burger

    HE’s tweeting! And, of course, it’s a LIE!
    ROTFL__surprise, I know. “SORRY…”

    The indictment of Manfort covers 2006 to 2017.
    De-Nile’ ain’t just a river in Egypt:

    https://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/925005659569041409

    “….aaaaaaand’____ SQUIRREL!!”

    • TundraGrifter

      This proves the cheese done slipped off his cracker. Tweeting about this? His attorneys should resign immediately.

      • laughingnome

        I’m actually shocked he’s tweeting about this. Isn’t this an effort to obstruct justice?

        • Skwerl the Nazi Puncher

          I’m not. He is a Grade-A idiot from Bovine University.

    • GoutMachine

      He only hires the best people!

    • Me The People

      “It’s all a big lie to distract from the scandal of Hilary’s uranium filled emails! Consider the timing!”

    • TJ Barke

      Now now, Donnie, if you’re actually innocent, you have nothing to fear. That’s something your type always says. Don’t tell me you don’t actually think so…

    • Delu

      And then you hired him?

      Why? Because he fit your campaign needs?

      • TJ Barke

        Help wanted: International financial criminal needed to run campaign of international financial criminal for president of US at behest of Russian mafioso/president

    • Snark Tank Full of Resistance

      But why aren’t Crooked Hillary & the Dems the focus?????

      Gonna go out on a limb here and say they aren’t the focus because this investigation has to do with Russian collusion in the election, and you and your cronies are all fucking guilty, whereas Sec. Clinton and the Democratic parties are the victims.

      Yeah, let’s go with that.

  • TJ Barke

    Needs moar criminal conspirators in jail.

  • Kakkeltje

    Manafort was the one that tricked Trump into making Pence his VP.

    Now, why would he have done that? It would be irresponsible not to speculate.

    • Notreelyhelping

      Ding ding ding ding!

    • cmd resistor

      I have responsibly speculated about it for a long time.

  • TundraGrifter

    Interesting that Mr. Mueller’s red herring is a whale and not a tuna. He’s starting very, very high up – almost at the top. I suggest this indicates a very strong case against the President. It also means little fish such as Gen. Flynn, Carter Page, and the minnows like Roger Stone aren’t needed.

    • theblackdog

      I suspect he’ll drag in Flynn and Stone anyway.

      • Joe Beese

        Fuck, I’d indict Stone just for spite.

        • Oblios_Cap

          I’d sentence him to have that tattoo removed by skinning.

      • TundraGrifter

        Yes – but no rush. When it’s time.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      Carter Page is all “hey guys, wait up! Arrest me too! Guys…c’mon!”

      • IdRatherBeDancing

        In his asshole Gilligan hat!

        • alwayspunkindrublic

          He should be prosecuted for the hat alone.

    • vivian

      The tip off, in retrospect, was when both Page and Flynn offered their testimony in exchange for immunity and Mueller was all “Yeah, uh, that’s hilarious, but no thanks. By the way? Don’t leave town.”

      • TundraGrifter

        Agreed! We discussed those developments here at the time and they were turning points. As was Mr. Mueller ignoring the pathetic Roger Stone. Nothing to see there – we’ll mop-up that mess when we get around to it.

    • Oblios_Cap

      Catch them anyway.

  • chascates

    “So, Mr. Manafort. Will it be prison or do you have someone else you can offer up?”

    • Joe Beese

      It reminds me of those early Law and Order episodes where Michael Moriarty would emotionlessly tell the accused, “You’re going to prison, sir.”

  • Put On Your War Paint!

    I was going to link the interrogation scene from L.A. Confidential, only I can’t stand to look at Kevin Spacey after last night’s story, so I’ll just say I’ll guess Manafort is having a very unpleasant morning talking with G-Men.

  • Joe Beese
  • Bill D. Burger
  • Joe Beese
  • exinkwretch

    Soon on Faux News: “The explosive truth revealed! Paul Manafort is a closeted lesbian involved in torrid affair with Hillary Clinton recruited by Hillary and The Deep State to derail Saint Donald!”

    • Also he was born in Kenya, too.

      • Snark Tank Full of Resistance

        Also he knows where they keep the keys to the secret basement of that pizza joint in Washington, too.

    • beingreleased

      People are saying.

    • IdRatherBeDancing

      I shit you not — they are talking about cheesburger emojis. LMAO. Bad day at Bullshit Mountain.

    • Marion in Savannah

      I dare you to go and post that on Blightfart…

    • Creepoman

      You forgot to put the (D) next to Paul’s name.

  • Joe Beese
    • Delu

      That’s one hell of a defense to use on Trump in the future when asked why anyone ever would have elected him.

    • beingreleased

      Extreme vetting for the win!

    • MynameisBlarney

      Can’t see the link, what is it?

    • Linda1961

      trump only hires the best traitors.

      • Laura

        Google is paying 97$ per hour,with weekly payouts.You can also avail this.
        On tuesday I got a brand new Land Rover Range Rover from having earned $11752 this last four weeks..with-out any doubt it’s the most-comfortable job I have ever done .. It sounds unbelievable but you wont forgive yourself if you don’t check it
        !dg296:
        ➽➽
        ➽➽;➽➽ http://GoogleDailyConsumerHelpJournalsJobsReport1/easy/jobs ★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫:::::!dg296lhhhh

  • Bill D. Burger
    • IdRatherBeDancing

      In all its karmic fucking splendor!!

    • CeeQ

      Hahahahahahahahaha
      I hope sincerely that Flynn is shitting himself today

  • Bill D. Burger
  • Bill D. Burger
  • Scooby

    I have the feeling that the phrase “Unindicted co-conspirator” is going to be making a comeback.

  • Master Contrail Program

    Since it is too early in the day to actally go into the fever swamps of right wing media to see what our best and brightest have to say, I went to the fever kiddie pool of ABCNews.Go. Which does bring up the question of why so many knuckle-draggers infest that site in particular? It’s like Diet Yahoo over there on most articles.

  • Reddishrabbit

    Manafort wishes Trump didn’t win. Because than every one would be far to just focusing on a runway in Arkansas instead of him.

    • Historicat

      The Producers – starring Paul Manafort!

  • Mr. Blobfish
  • Bill D. Burger
  • Reddishrabbit

    I feel like opening some champagne for breakfast!
    And if Trump does go down I have big plans.

  • Joe Beese
    • Bill D. Burger
      • Snark Tank Full of Resistance

        You spelled “fucking moron” wrong.

        • beingreleased

          Some people argue he’s a “dumb mother fucker.” Others say he’s a “fucking moron.” I think we’ll just have to agree to disagree.

          • TundraGrifter

            I’ve suggested this before:

            Dumb is a person not knowing something he or she should know, but not being capable of comprehending it. I think moron fits here, as well. Moron is the bottom level of dumb.

            Stupid is a person simply not knowing something she or he should know.

            Ignorant is a person not knowing something he or she should know and not caring enough to find out about it.

          • beingreleased

            I guess I should point out that he’s more likely a “daughter fucker” than a “mother fucker.” Based on the available evidence, at least.

          • AmazingProfessionalCrastinator

            Then stupid ignoramus is appropriate.

        • GoutMachine

          You say potayto …

      • theblackdog

        If only. The ones who love him seem to think he is the greatest and smartest person in the world.

        • MynameisBlarney

          Well, in their defense, they also believe a lot of other stupid shit that ain’t true.

    • Delu

      Yeah well that’s clearly not an attempt to channel Trump.

    • TundraGrifter

      Right after he gives full credit to Mr. Obama for fundamentally changing America by turning around our economy – jobs up, stock market booming, etc., etc.

    • Nockular cavity

      So, Kelly’s got the phone now, eh?

    • cmd resistor

      Made me look.

  • Timothy Watson
  • Joe Beese
    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      Holy crap! That’s quite the statement from a Congress critter…from your OWN party.

    • cmd resistor

      “Treacherous rot.” I like it.

  • Ray in VT

    Nice to see that the White House is going with “but Hillary” and “but Obama”. What a nice change of pace and totally not expected at all. I guess that if that’s what it takes to take attention away from your sleazy associates getting indicted.

    • PubOption

      Obama won’t be running in 2020, Hillary might.

  • MynameisBlarney
  • House0fTheBlueLights

    Defense Team Drumpf: Paul Manafort was a grifty, larcenous, treasonous sumbitch under Obama and therefore we hired him and sold him real estate at preferential rates.

  • IdRatherBeDancing

    Morning comrades. Great day for the republic as the first wave of criminals in this shitshow of a presidency start the process toward prison! It’s 10:30 EST — is that too early to start chugging whiskey in celebration.

    • GoutMachine

      I’m just sad my corporate overlords would frown upon Monday morning whiskeying.

      • IdRatherBeDancing

        Shut your door — that’s what I am doing.

        • GoutMachine

          Open plan office :(

          • IdRatherBeDancing

            damn the 21st century business model!

      • Lisa

        That’s why I’m a stay at home mom. I don’t answer to anyone until my kids get home from school at 3:00. Except for the dogs. And they are very demanding.

        • IdRatherBeDancing

          I’d have alchohol poisening by 3pm — good thing I am not at home. Oh, I’d just drink with my dogs.

    • TundraGrifter

      It’s 6 am somewhere.

  • Bill D. Burger
  • Impatient

    Just thinking of all the nice little people who are all “I’m with Trump.” Like Omarosa Manigault. Perhaps she’d like to “bow down” and lick the shit off my shoes … the shit her orange dog has been spreading all over our country. Wasn’t it her job to pick up after him? The park signs require it!

  • Joe Beese
    • laughingnome

      And I can get a free Hoveround!

      • Bright Bart

        i wouldn’t. you don’t know where its been.

    • CripesAmighty

      She’s fallen and can’t get up.

    • Ricky Gay
    • Oblios_Cap

      I learned that lettuce goes on the bottom of the burger. Sounds kinda Russian to me.

      • Celtic_Gnome

        I worked at a Wendy’s for eleven months, and I can conclusively confirm that lettuce goes on top of the burger.

        Oh, and that lettuce on the bottom thing? All Hillary.

    • Creepoman

      Better buy gold and survival beans!

      • Moar Wordz

        I have so bought survival beans

  • Bill D. Burger
    • Delu

      Not even that Donny.

      Not even that.

  • Bill D. Burger
    • Oblios_Cap

      I would love to see Sessions go down, and hard!

      • Bright Bart

        to children’s jail.

  • Bigby

    Yeah but yeah but yeah but, Uranium One! Hitlery sold allllll of our precious nukular Uranium to Russia! Our Sworn Enemy™! It’s EXACTICALLY like giving them our launch codes! Treason! Lock her up! [mumble mumble mumble], what? Russia is our “friend”? We want to get along with Russia and Trump is doing just that?….wait, what? It’s BOTH treason *and* no biggie cuz they’re just any old country? And it’s cool they interfered with our election because Hitlery is so evil™ that she’s actually *worse* than Russia completely stealing our election? Cuz we won? Erasing the evidence is no biggie!? Ok, then! Whelp, back to 9 moar hours of FoX Newz! Zzzzzz….

    That’s all I heard from the “Republican Line” on CSPAN this AM. Fuck these fucking fucks.

    • TJ Barke

      Doublethink. Orwell’s spinning in his grave.

    • Paul Dietzel

      “But, but . . . He’ll be able to see the Big Board.”

  • Bill D. Burger
  • Bill D. Burger
    • blarg

      OK, except insert Pence instead of Melania and Carter Page (or Michael Cohen or even Paul Ryan) instead of Kellyanne.

  • OrG

    No Collusion! No Collusion! You’re The Collusion!

  • WiscoJoe

    C’mon guys, it’s not a criminal conspiracy unless it took less than a few months to pull off. Everyone knows that! That’s how this works, right? Doesn’t every presidential campaign get a decade-long grace period for treason?

  • lucas berger

    It reminds me of those early Law and Order episodes where Michael Moriarty would emotionlessly tell the accused, “You’re going to prison, sir.”

    • lucas berger

      It reminds me of those early Law and Order episodes where Michael Moriarty would emotionlessly tell the accused, “You’re going to prison, sir.”

  • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

    Manafort took notes during Trump Jr.’s little Russian traitor meeting:

    https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/the-fix/wp/2017/08/31/a-very-intriguing-new-subplot-in-the-saga-of-donald-trump-jr-s-russia-meeting/?utm_term=.e178bae1ff73

    “The Washington Post’s Rosalind S. Helderman and Karoun Demirjian had previously reported that Manafort took notes during the meeting — notes that naturally were of interest to investigators — but this appears to be the first report to indicate he did so using his phone.

    Why is that significant? Because Manafort being on his phone was presented by both Trump Jr. and the Russian lawyer, Natalia Veselnitskaya, as evidence of his disinterest in the meeting. It was used to suggest that the meeting was rather insignificant — a disappointment to all involved — and didn’t go anywhere. Trump Jr. and others have said that the information promised was a bust and was never used by the Trump campaign, whatever their intent in accepting the meeting was.”

  • William

    I wonder who the White House will send over to the Hoosegow to remind Manafort to STFU.https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/af8fd45629ef0555eef377d6d12fb685f1f9e6b9b36d62f8aee99252dcf08bca.jpg

    • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

      “I’ll now start taking questions from you dirty birds.”

    • RugzYaBurnt

      KATHY BATES LIBELZ!111!!!!11!!

  • Michael Smith

    The right isn’t going to let this interfere with establishing a Putinesque kleptocracy in America.

    They are telling Real Americans everywhere this morning that Hillary did the same thing and wasn’t prosecuted because the liberal media thinks feminism is more important than facts, and that Trump is only in trouble because he’s a white man, and so if you believe that Trump did anything wrong (relative to the general morality of Washington), you are basically coming out as gay.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      Makes sense to me.

    • ZangoCrudmonger

      Gay? Nah, the preferred slur is cuck these days.

      • Michael Smith

        Right, yes.

  • Bub, the cynical zombie
  • Martini Ambassador 🍸
    • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

      None of these look like Reese’s. FAKE NEWS!

    • Oblios_Cap

      That’s a pretty selection of candy.

    • GoutMachine

      Christ, that’s like the shittiest candy of all. Who eats that shit?

      • Snark Tank Full of Resistance

        I used to LOVE those wax pop bottles when I was a kid! The beans and G&Ps, not so much.

    • Doug Langley

      Wow, where would we be without the one channel’s fierce determination to cover the hard-hitting stories?

    • Bright Bart

      no Mike & Ikes?!

  • Bill D. Burger
    • NastyBossetti

      Because he was never a campaign manager for a democratic presidential candidate? Maybe?

    • Nockular cavity

      “My good friend who worked for me did multiple felonies for years BEFORE I hired him. So it’s got nothing to do with me!”

  • Kiri the Unicorn

    I’m in the mood for some Rossini, for some reason.

    https://youtu.be/UjDXNqG0Deg

    • LesBontemps

      Rossini yes, but I would have gone with something hilarious from Barber of Seville. Cause needz moar slapstick.

  • Joe Beese
    • TJ Barke

      THOU DOTH PROTEST WAY TOO FUCKING MUCH!

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      Yep…he’s not bothered by this at all.

    • Bill D. Burger
    • Bill D. Burger

      And it’s IN CAPS….so it must be true.

    • Martini Ambassador 🍸

      Sure not-hysterical-at-all-dotard, sure https://twitter.com/PGourevitch/status/925008224419540992

    • Delu

      So when your Son Don Jr replied “If true, I love it, and can we meet closer to the end of the primaries for better effect?” (paraphrased)

      That was what?

      Oh NOTHING came out of it you say? Ok so if a group of people plan a bombing and don’t go through with it I suppose there was no bombing planned then yes?

    • Put On Your War Paint!

      “*I* was saying ‘Boo-Urns’.”

    • Doug Langley

      Considering he doesn’t even know what “civil” means, I’m curious as to his definition of “collusion”.

      • Snark Tank Full of Resistance

        Making up their own definitions of words is a Trump family pastime:

        https://pics.me.me/ami-giphy-slay-by-mic-ivanka-admitted-shes-complicit-but-18710185.png

        • CripesAmighty

          Guess it’s time to start ‘architecting’ a defense.

        • PubOption

          “The point is, there is no feasible excuse for what are, for what we
          have made of ourselves. We have chosen to put profits before people,
          money before morality, dividends before decency, fanaticism before
          fairness, and our own trivial comforts before the unspeakable agonies of
          others”


          Iain Banks,

          Complicity

          • Celtic_Gnome

            Love me some Iain Banks.

    • calliecallie

      DO SOMETHING!

    • Bigby
  • Master Contrail Program

    Mondays
    Are (For)
    Grain
    Alcohol

    Yeah, it needs some work.

  • Bill D. Burger

    Twitter meltdown already begun. Keep score….

    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DNZK6qTUMAAg7YD.jpg

  • TundraGrifter

    Monday:
    A
    Grim
    Agenda

  • Deborah Ujevich

    Some time ago, I heard a former Watergate prosecutor say, leave the collusion alone; it’s the CONSPIRACY you want, because that’s the felony. So, in this case, his idiotic semantical hair-splitting may be correct!!

    • shivaskeeper

      Idiotic semantic hair splitting is the heart and soul of the law.

      • Deborah Ujevich

        Yes, but the idiot-in-chief doesn’t know that. I recently read a Trump humper defend Trump’s blatant, egregious lies as “semantically insignificant,” that’s kind of what inspired me. Also, these knuckleheads are rendering the legal minutiae unnecessary, what with their bumbling, overt fuckery.

        • shivaskeeper

          All they are doing s giving the prosecution a range of options to choose from. These are supposed to be professional crooks and they aren;t cutting it.

          Semantically insignificant. I had not heard that one before.

          • Deborah Ujevich

            Yes, I’m pretty sure that oh, say, the BSA president thought that Trump lying about a pretend laudatory phone call was slightly more than semantically insignificant. The Russians flat out called Carter Page AN IDIOT, and they used the same bait-and-switch technique at least twice, with Fredo & now, as we’re learning, with Papadopoulos.

  • Mr. Blobfish

    Am I the only one that thunk the David S. Pumpkins cartoon was very unfunny?

  • Joe Beese

    Brian Klass (via Twitter):

    OK, so this is the summary of the Trump/Fox News argument this week…

    Clinton colluded with Russia to create a fake dossier she didn’t use, get hacked by Russia, and then (ingeniously!) lose the race.

    Bob Mueller, a Republican, appointed by a Republican, respected by all Republicans until recently, is now a Democratic stooge.

    The FBI investigation into collusion, which began in July 2016, was invented as an “excuse” for losing the November 2016 election.

    Clinton, who didn’t sit on a 9 member board that approved the Uranium One deal, is now solely responsible for it & should be jailed.

    Mueller, who is qualified to lead the investigation precisely because of his experience in the FBI, should now resign because of it.

    • shivaskeeper

      That all sounds legit.

    • CeeQ

      Ok yeah this sounds all hunky dory! I’m convinced.

  • Me The People

    How can they be charging this poor innocent soul when Hillary Clinton is still able to walk the streets? HER EMAILS HAD URANIUM IN THEM!

  • beingreleased
  • alwayspunkindrublic

    “Where is your God NOW, Mr. Manafort?”

    –Robert Mueller

    • Me not sure

      “In the Kremlin, where he’s always been. Why do you ask?”
      Manafort

    • shastakoala

      God works in conspirious ways.

  • Jenny

    BUT HER EMAAAAAAAAILS! BENGHAZI! PUMPKIN EMOJIS!!!

  • ariel_gee_398

    Manafort getting charged is delicious, but this third unsealed indictment is the big’un, I think: https://twitter.com/joshtpm/status/925008100117090306

  • WiscoJoe

    Trump White House: Look, we have no idea what most of the campaign staff was doing. But also NO COLLUSION for sure.

    • vivian

      This actually might be there best shot at a credible defense. “You’ve seen how disorganized and inept we are. Do you really think we’re smart and organized enough to engage in collusion?”

      • WiscoJoe

        It worked for Reagan. Of course Reagan was a good enough actor to be believable (the Alzheimer’s helped) and hadn’t left a his skidmarks all over the public record.

        • Roadstergal

          A large percentage of the electorate found Reagan, somehow, charming. That is not an issue here.

  • Bill D. Burger

    Aaaand…it’s getting better by the minute. Just now: This!
    Gettin’ Guuuud’!

    [Trump Campaign Foreign Policy Adviser Pleads Guilty In Russia Probe

    Ryan J. Reilly
    HuffPost•October 30, 2017

    WASHINGTON ― A foreign policy adviser to President Donald Trump’s presidential campaign has pleaded guilty to a charge of lying to FBI agents.
    George Papadopoulos, 30, pleaded guilty on Oct. 5, 2017, but the case wasn’t unsealed until Monday, when two other Trump associates were indicted by a federal grand jury.
    Papadopoulos reached a plea deal with prosecutors, indicating he’s cooperating with special counsel Robert Mueller’s probe into Russian interference in the 2016 election.]

    https://www.yahoo.com/news/trump-foreign-policy-adviser-pleads-143141351.html?soc_trk=gcm&soc_src=bad81b5f-db87-38f1-ad4e-b7e8e737f190&.tsrc=notification-brknews

  • Jgb979
    • Everrett Fanuelli

      But Not Ma’am?! WTF?!

  • Put On Your War Paint!

    Bath time. What’s the over/under on Trump firing Mueller before I get my hair dry?

    • Timothy Watson

      “Monday Morning Massacre” doesn’t have quite the same ring to it even if it’s alliterative.

      • No one in this Admin knows what alliteration is

        • vivian

          Duh, it’s when you throw your candy wrappers out the car window.

          • Major_Major_Major

            I was gonna go with “It’s what made that there Injun chief cry like a common libtard-Trumpkins”,

    • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

      Does this mean the hot water is on? It must mean the hot water is on!

      • Put On Your War Paint!

        Yup. :) 4th morning in a row. I haven’t wanted to jinx it by celebrating.

    • vivian

      Depends. Are you a soaker or a dip’n’dash type?

      • Put On Your War Paint!

        Soak. I love a long, hot luxurious bath.

    • MrTusks

      If it happens I will start targeting tirades against all of my elected representatives, not just the Republicans.

      • Put On Your War Paint!

        Me too.

  • mackafritz

    NO COLLUSION! NO COLLUSION! YOU’RE THE COLLUSION!

  • Me The People

    What a coincidence that Trump’s chosen campaign manager turned out to be not only a scummy criminal desperado, but a scummy criminal desperado with extensive criminal ties to Russia and Russian politicians.

    Some folks luck is really the worst eh?

    • Terpsichord

      “Chosen” because Daddy Vlad told Babby Trumpy that he was required to hire Manafort. Vlad acts like any common mafioso who puts one of “his” guys in the nightclub to ensure the skim is counted and delivered correctly and on time.

      • Me The People

        Sounds about right.

    • Persistent Tennessee Rain

      Yes, but all of this will eventually lead to Clinton, Obama and Podesta being indicted. Or so I’ve been told.

  • Joe Beese
  • Bill D. Burger
  • Martini Ambassador 🍸

    Confused? That’s exactly where Faux and the asshole’s enablers want ya: https://twitter.com/KevinMKruse/status/924621683952144384

  • CripesAmighty
    • eggs ackly-wright

      There were times I wanted Rockford to beat the shit out of Angel.

  • armed_bears

    Look… Imma say it right here: This whole damn day is gonna be OT.

  • Joe Beese
  • UnsaltedSinner

    So Trump is basically sitting on something golden yelling “JUSTICE FOR MEWS!” right now.

  • Monsieur_Grumpe

    Monday morning coffee tastes so much better with criminal charges being served.

    • Me The People
      • Paul Dietzel

        “Funny, Jim never vomits at home.” . . . but maybe more to the point . . . “I just want to tell you (Bob Mueller) good luck. We’re all counting on you.

  • WiscoJoe

    Re-sharing this. A politically connected friend sent me this text on Saturday night:

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/8cad3cf84a027138a6896063483bfb6ac698505e0bd9aa39c2df9526913070e7.jpg

    • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

      He did get lessons on how to prison good from Daddy.

  • Bill D. Burger
    • TheFamilyThalamusPersists

      Yep. He went to Jared is next.

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    I love the smell of indictments in the morning.

  • shastakoala

    But it happened a long time ago.

  • Cogswell – Overlord of Barsoom

    Isn’t conspiracy against the United States just a nice way of saying TREASON?

    Just wonderin’

    • Marion in Savannah
      • Cogswell – Overlord of Barsoom

        Thanks. I didn’t know.That’s why I asked.

        • Marion in Savannah

          That’s why I Gazoogled it too!

          • Cogswell – Overlord of Barsoom

            I suppose I should have used the google machine myself.

          • vivian

            But then they’d know.

    • Cheesus Crust _ Rebel

      No, this one is a basic charge sayin’ you broke US law, you knew you were doing it and you tried to hide it from us.

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        Well, it sounds very treason-y, so Dems should do what Repubs do and just repeat it over and over and over.

        • Cogswell – Overlord of Barsoom

          Yup!

    • Me not sure

      In a general sense, yes, but probably not to the specifics of the definition in the Constitution.

    • Persistent Tennessee Rain

      I looked it up and, apparently, it’s only a misdemeanor. I find that a little shocking though.

      • Cogswell – Overlord of Barsoom

        Holy shit! Me, too!

  • Joe Beese

    Chuck P.

    At the very least, it would seem to me, Republican congressional leaders ought to be forced to take a position as to what they would do if the president* fired Robert Mueller now that the first shoe has dropped. This should be an easy one, of course, but there is that tax bill to pass, and all that money to shove upwards to the donors, so obligations to the Constitution can wait.

    • Khavrinen

      “what they wouldwill do if when the president* fireds Robert Mueller”

      I mean come on, does anyone really believe this won’t happen sooner or later?

    • MrTusks

      Any Republican stooge up the chain from Betsy DeVos (jesus fuck) will sign the tax cuts. There has to be something else do it.

  • Bill D. Burger
    • Me The People
    • Roadstergal

      No collusion! You’re the collusion!

    • CripesAmighty

      10:30. Need to put better locks on the terlet.

  • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

    So shady financial dealings with Russia by manafort and dolt had never released his taxes. Connected?

  • Vagenda and Pee-ara

    “A former foreign policy adviser to the Trump campaign, George Papadopoulos, secretly pleaded guilty as part of Special Prosecutor Robert Mueller’s probe into Russian interference in the 2016 U.S. presidential election.

    Papadopoulos had suggested that Donald Trump meet with top Russian leaders during the campaign. He pleaded guilty to making false statements during an interview with the Federal Bureau of Investigation.”

    • anon_the_great

      Manafort may be Mueller’s chaff. Papa is the True Path.

  • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

    I can’t keep up with the thread. Slowdowns guyz11!!

    • Joe Beese

      This party may go on all day.

    • Doug Langley

      Fasten your seatbelt!

  • Bill D. Burger
  • William

    I hope he serves his time in one of those nice efficient privatized prisons. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/8cd83ffbd46bf157d4d81b641d65cff8e0b61afc8356902af081e7d4ce1ef4a3.jpg

  • chiefkurtz

    Drug ads on TV advise you to inform your doctor if you’re at risk for a major coronary event. I think Paul Manafort has joined that club. Also, the club of people at risk for being stabbed in the calf by a sharp pointed umbrella.

  • jesterpunk

    Remember there was only 1 thing Trump’s staff cared about with the GOP platform, that was the position on Russia and the Ukraine and insisted only that be changed. Manafort was the guy who pushed for that change.

    • anon_the_great

      Coinky Dink.

  • Daniel
    • Joe Beese

      I thought Dad was worth $10 billion!

    • CripesAmighty

      That’s just revolting: ‘No swindle too small’.

    • Marion in Savannah

      Oh, Jesus, that’s rich.

    • jesterpunk

      Eric I thought you and Jr where not going to have anything to do with your father while he was POTUS to keep the businesses separate from his office?

      • Jennaratrix

        Aw, it’s so cute that they thought people would believe that.

        • jesterpunk

          The worst part is republicans did believe it and are ok with it.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      I dream of the day he is homeless and selling pencils on the street.

  • MynameisBlarney

    Lookin’ like for turmp and his minions the fecal matter is about to strike the rotational air circulation apparatus.

    https://www.democraticunderground.com/10029769061

    • Lance Thrustwell

      That looks really tasty.

      • MynameisBlarney

        Quite.

  • Bill D. Burger
  • Vagenda and Pee-ara

    Brian Kilmeade says his callers are OUTRAGED that ALL of Trump’s supporters have Russian ties, which means absolutely nothing, and besides it was a long time ago, and why isn’t Hillary in jail? Hngggh?

  • beingreleased

    Can we all agree that Manafort’s a bad person?
    https://twitter.com/FastCompany/status/925010667559669761

    • Timothy Watson

      That was the last straw!

      /sarc

  • Skwerl the Nazi Puncher
    • Doug Langley

      He drove the slave kids to mine uranium in the basement of Comet Pizza!

  • jesterpunk
  • BadKitty904
  • Dept. of Space Tacos

    “Oh what a beautiful mooooooorning, oh what a beautiful day! I’ve got a wonderful feeeeeeeeeeeeling, ROBERT MUELLER IS FUCKIN’ PAUL MANAFORT’S SHIT UP RIGHT NOW!”

    I swear I had this in my files.
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/b17b9d410d6fd92430320da13005298df032e222c269cc7f045ccf865b317cff.png

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    “Wait….can I make a few calls to Cyprus and the Cayman Islands before you put the cuffs on?”

  • Bill D. Burger
  • IdiokraticCulturalMarxist
    • Oblios_Cap

      That Borowitz!

  • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

    NYT:

    Mr. Papadopoulos was one of a small group of foreign policy advisers that Mr. Trump announced in March 2016. Another of the advisers, Carter Page, has met with the F.B.I. about his own meetings with Russians.

    Here’s five whole dollars that says that smug asshole Carter Page is next ’cause you know he fucking lied, too.

    • BigCSouthside

      Those charges are really fucking bad and pretty damn obvious connection between Russia and Trump

    • ariel_gee_398

      I think Carter Page has been working on a diminished capacity defense for the past few months.

      • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

        LOL

  • Doug Langley

    “No collusion at all! Why, I missed that other car by a mile!!”

  • Cogswell – Overlord of Barsoom
  • BadKitty904
  • Vagenda and Pee-ara

    “After a two-minute rant about the former Democratic nominee, Conway announced: “We would be glad to stop talking about Hillary Clinton and the campaign, we dispensed with her a year ago. But she just won’t go away.”

    According to Conway, the Russia investigation is not even on the president’s mind — even though he tweeted about six times in a row on Monday.

    “The president is very focused on other things,” she opined. “What he said yesterday in his tweets is no different than what he said all along.”

    “I just want to tell you that the president continues to focus on what matters to people,” Conway added.”

    So STOP talking about Hillary Clinton, you dumb twat. Nobody is interested in impeaching Hillary Clinton.

    • Joe Beese

      “Stop hitting yourself! Stop hitting yourself!”

    • Kryptonian Canis

      Ugh, I wish she would just crawl back under her sewer grate already.

    • RMKH

      And what matters to the American people is, “Why are you still here?”

    • Roadstergal

      “We’re still pissed off that more people wanted her to be President and her book tour is selling out.”

  • Krombopulous Pichael
  • eyelashviper
    • Lance Thrustwell

      Wow. He looks genuinely freaked out. This could really be something!

      • eyelashviper

        yep, the sneer is gone.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      Now THAT is a “shit just got real” expression if ever there was one.

    • wide_stance_hubby

      He’s thinking he can’t remember how many times he’s needed clean drawers in the past hour alone.

    • FlemmishSpy

      You should have seen his face when the FBI entered his house while he was in his pajamas.

      • cmd resistor

        Someone on CNN this morning said when the FBI came in, he and his wife were still in bed and they were searched for weapons while in bed. Now, I had not heard that before.

        • Celtic_Gnome

          That would certainly be awkward for me, because I wear very little in bed, and by very little, I mean nothing.

    • Christopher Story

      That is the face of a man who can see the gallows

      • Covfefe

        Nah. This is a man giggling about his pardon.

        • Christopher Story

          Look at those constricted pupils; that’s panic.

    • CeeQ

      Omg so delicious. That is the face of a man who just saw his doom.

    • ltmcdies

      That’s right, you treasonous sack of shit…pay back IS a bitch

  • Notreelyhelping
  • Conspiracy against the United States?

    Why that’s TREASON!

  • DerrickWildcat

    They are wheeling him around on a hand truck like Hannibal Lechter.

  • Joe Beese
    • RMKH

      NO COLLUSION! NO COLLUSION! YOU’RE THE COLLUSION!

  • susan_g

    Manafort should rat out the cheeto crew to save himself but he’ll probably be told that the moron will give him a pardon so he’ll stay mum. After that, watch for cheeto to do his normal routine after someone does work for him: stiff him. He’ll pull the pardon like Lucy with that football, leaving Pauly in prison.

    • Joe Beese
    • jesterpunk

      Someone should let Manafort know the NY AG is also investigating him for the same thing and Trump cant pardon him for that.

      • Celtic_Gnome

        I imagine it’s been mentioned.

  • I feel like a slacker. I’m nearly 37 and i’ve never entered into a plea agreement with the federal government over attempts to steal a federal election

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      Don’t beat yourself up! You’re still young. It’s not crazy talk to think that you may get to try to steal a federal election at some point down the line.

    • NastyBossetti

      Buck up! You’re not dead yet. There’s still time.

      • Celtic_Gnome

        Yeah. Manafort’s in his sixties. You got plenty of time to collude.

    • Joe Beese

      By your age, Mozart was already dead!

    • Jennaratrix

      There’s plenty of time; you can still commit treason before you retire! Just put it on your bucket list.

  • BadKitty904
  • calliecallie

    Scaramoochie must be feeling like he dodged a bullet.

    • MynameisBlarney

      I got a feeling that was why he acted like he did.
      He knew they were all traitorous criminals and he GTFO.

      • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

        Assumes intelligence not in evidence.

    • Relativicus

      My guess is he’s feeling like he missed the train.

  • Reddishrabbit
    • Joe Beese

      Boink!

  • Daniel

    So today Manafort and Gates have been indicted for conspiring against the US, and the Trump team’s defence is that they were doing illegal shit before they were hired by them- which suggests maybe the Law and Order candidate who wanted EXTREME VETTING didn’t perhaps do as extreme vetting as he should have to ensure they hadn’t broken any laws.

    Papadopoulos has admitted lying to the FBI about information he got from the Russians for use in the campaign.

    Imagine what we’ll know tomorrow.

  • Persistent Tennessee Rain

    Just a thought: If they’ve frozen Manafort’s assets, he may not have any collateral to make bail. Oh that would be so delicious.

    • ariel_gee_398

      No, Mrs. Manafort, we cannot accept bail in rubles.

    • Joe Beese

      Oh, I’m sure he knows some oligarchs overseas who would be happy to help out an old tovarisch.

      • Covfefe

        The issue at Moscow Center is not what you’ve done for us in the past, it’s what you can do for us in the future

  • Vagenda and Pee-ara

    If Trump hadn’t been stupid enough to fire REPUBLICAN James Comey, REPUBLICAN Robert Mueller probably wouldn’t be conducting an investigation into Russian meddling. Trump sure does have a good brain.

    • Joe Beese

      Rosenstein’s Revenge

    • vivian

      “He has the best brain, let me tell you, and also excellent jeans, really, just the best jeans there are, not like those Mom Jeans that Obama wears, I don’t know where he got those, just terrible terrible jeans, and so like I was saying this really has nothing to do with anything, it’s all just Dems making Fake News because of Hillary, and it’s complicated, really, like, complicated you know? which is why Alex Jones spells it all right out there for you.” – John Barron

  • calliecallie

    A read somewhere a while back that they have tape of Ryan talking about RNC getting money from Russia. I am hopeful Manafort was involved in this arrangement.

    • Everrett Fanuelli

      There’s a tape of Rep. McCarthy claiming that Trump and Rohrbacher are supported by Russia. Never went anywhere.

      • cmd resistor

        Of course, because no one mentioned Hillary in it.

      • calliecallie

        Yet. :-)

  • Gee, Your Hair Smells Horrific

    MOST INNOCENT PRESIDENTIAL REACTION EVER!!!!!!

    • Jonas Ankarloo

      Yes, he’s got the BEST reactions.

      • cmd resistor

        It’s better than hives.

      • Gee, Your Hair Smells Horrific

        He has tweeted that there is NO COLLUSION. He spells it out in capital letters so it must be true.
        Stand down, Mueller!

  • Dept. of Space Tacos

    “So there could be more indictments against Manafort, and there will probably be many more for many other people.”

    Also, go for the weak little fish, threaten buku jail time and fines and get them to flip on the person above them. Rinse and repeat till you get the head honcho.

  • Sashineb
    • Joe Beese

      I don’t see Hillary’s emails in there.

      • Jonas Ankarloo

        Hidden behind the u̶r̶a̶n̶i̶u̶m̶ unobtanium shield, natch.

  • Alice Peal

    “In furtherance of the scheme, MANAFORT and GATES funneled millions of dollars in payments into foreign nonmiee companies and bank accounts, opened by them and their accomplices…”
    Oh Lordy, there are ACCOMPLICES?!?!?!

  • Mr. Blobfish
  • Bill D. Burger
    • BadKitty904

      It looks like Mueller & Co. didn’t, Sham…

    • altleftjohn

      No collusion! No collusion! You’re the collusion!!

  • Bub, the cynical zombie

    What will Trump say to Sessions at lunch today? I’m guessing he’ll say: “DO SOMETHING!!”

  • Bill D. Burger
    • Darrell Imaginarian

      I dunno. How much do you like polonium in your sushi?

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      Queen For A Day is the best. show. ever.

    • Thiazin Red

      Treason Thunderdome! Two traitors enter, one traitor …. gets slightly less jail time.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        Is there a “spin again” slot on the wheel?

    • Timothy Watson

      Or they both talk and both lose. Ah, a practical application of the prisoner’s dilemma game.

    • jesterpunk

      I hope that once either of them talk they get passed directly to the NY AG and go directly to state prison.

    • Saxo the Grammarian

      Always worth repeating: the first to sing gets the best plea deal.

      • Skwerl the Nazi Puncher

        And no matter what they are both going to prison. Will it be the cushy one or the supermax?

  • Mary Theresa

    Another one bites the dust.

    Former Trump campaign adviser pleads guilty to lying to FBI

    George Papadopolous, the 30-year-old foreign policy adviser, pleaded guilty earlier this month, according to court filings unsealed on Monday.

    http://thehill.com/homenews/administration/357792-former-trump-campaign-adviser-pleads-guilty-to-lying-to-fbi

  • Everrett Fanuelli

    Sadly I think the Republicans and their ilk were successful in muddying the waters. There are enough politicians and media out there to carry Trump’s message of no collusion.

  • Skwerl the Nazi Puncher
    • Daniel

      He’s too fucking dumb to have even gone with “Spectre of Communism”.

      • Khavrinen

        That’s what James Bond was fighting, right?

    • Bub, the cynical zombie

      Ben Garrison’s cartoons are like a window into a diseased mind.

      • Oblios_Cap

        I’m glad he covered Bill’s human horn!

    • Daniel

      So is Obama supposed to be Baron Samedi?

    • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

      I can’t define dementia but I know it when I see it.

      • vivian

        FYI, there’s someone posting under Cousin Itt with your picture over on Breitbart saying very not-Cousin Itt things.

        • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

          Thanks, I know about that. And I have thought about changing my avatar. I only comment on Wonkette. I don’t want to morph but maybe I should.

    • Thiazin Red

      Al Franken libelz, he isn’t a idiot and wouldn’t run with Jill Stein.

      • Daniel

        That’s the best joke in this mess though. I’m willing to let him have that, and focus instead on the tone-deaf racism, the delusion about the Uranium One thing and the utter ignorance of one of the most famous quotes from the Communist Manifesto while attempting to ridicule it.

      • Roadstergal

        Seriously. Stein has WAY more in common politically with Trump than Franken!

        • FallsAngel

          Yes, she pandered to the anti-vaxers.

    • Snark Tank Full of Resistance

      So Killary and Co. knocked off JFK, Jr.? I hadn’t heard that one! (His tombstone is under the “S” in “Spirit of Communism”.)

    • Oblios_Cap

      So Obama’s dancing on the grave of Decency, et. al., now that Trump has killed them?

    • Red Richmond

      The tombstones in the background are just batshit crazy if you take the time to read them. The DNC, Hope & Change…and Seth Rich and Vince Foster? The NFL? Really? Time to medicate again Ben. Also, here’s a recipe I’d like you to try:

      https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/0787d125efddfdaf3fdd04a4fec52f17679401597679ec15810edf3dd402e2bf.jpg

  • ariel_gee_398

    I swear Mueller had the Gates and Manafort indictments released first to get the “this has nothing to do with the campaign” reaction, only to nut punch them with the Papadopolous guilty plea directly tied to the campaign. It’s glorious.

    • Deborah Ujevich

      Yep, that’s the way the prevailing winds are blowing. I used to just respect & admire Mueller. Now, I’m all fangirl awestruck.

    • Deborah Ujevich

      And those indictment counts sure look like a recipe for RICO. That carries a heavy minimum.

    • Reximus

      Papadopolous is singin’ like a canary

      • Covfefe

        A coal mine canary?

    • C4TWOMAN

      Oh hope you’re right!

    • CeeQ

      A+!! Would special prosecute again!

    • cmd resistor

      Yeah, there’s some timing thing there for sure, as the plea was supposedly entered Oct. 5 and just unsealed today.

  • Alan

    Hope they squeeze his balls in a vice until he sings. Metaphorically of course.

    • Bub, the cynical zombie

      I’m okay with literally, myself…

      • Alan

        Soprano.

        • vivian

          … only dogs can hear.

          • C4TWOMAN

            I think you meant bats.

          • vivian

            “Bat dog! Bat dog!”

          • C4TWOMAN

            We have a winner!

  • Bill D. Burger
    • BadKitty904

      Grab a traitor by his toe…

      • Roadstergal

        If he hollers, let him do it in front of a jury…

    • eyelashviper

      AOT, K.

    • CeeQ

      Big X thru Manafort on this chart hanging by Mueller’s desk. Who’s next?? Please let it be Flynn!! Lock him up!!

  • Vagenda and Pee-ara

    Corey Lewandowski blaming, wait for it…THE FBI…for not vetting Paul Manafort.

    • jesterpunk

      The FBI is supposed to pick Trump’s campaign staff?

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        Why do you hate America?

      • Impatient

        They’re not even supposed to pick the preznit in the first place!

        • Mmmm.

          What you did there, I see it.

    • ltmcdies

      That fuckin’ guy again

  • Bub, the cynical zombie
  • OrdinaryJoe

    “Now this is not the end. It is not even the beginning of the end. But it is, perhaps, the end of the beginning,”

  • BadKitty904
  • TootsStansbury

    Um. Holy shit.

  • Crank Tango
    • Joe Beese

      One indictment! Two indictments!

  • Bill D. Burger

    The third domino this morning. And he’s an easy flip.

    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DNZQIFxXUAEk6ls.jpg

  • UnsaltedSinner

    “But… But… I even printed it out!”

    https://twitter.com/owillis/status/925014995171270658

  • Roadstergal

    If he can come up with a coherent definition for ‘collusion’ – accurate or not – I’ll eat my hat.

    https://img.wonkette.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/10/trumpmanafort2-640×270.png

    • BMW

      “No collusion, no collusion…YOU’RE THE COLLUSION!”

    • Doug Langley

      “Fake news! We missed the other vehicle by miles!”

  • sillyclucker

    Hey Manaford ! Trick or treason !

  • laughingnome

    Just read the Papadopolous guilty plea – BIG TROUBLE for Trump! Surprised it isn;t getting more play today

    • ariel_gee_398

      He made false statements after being lured in with the same kind of bait Trump Jr. fell for. I cannot wait to see that smug fucker join the ranks of the indicted.

    • Roadstergal

      I’m sure it will be fully covered on Fox N… hahahahahaaa no.

      • Khavrinen

        fully covered, completely ignored; same thing, right?

      • Alan

        You too funny.

  • I will savor this day, every damn minute of it.

  • ltmcdies

    So it’s a Merry Indictment Day morning, huh. Three of the buggers.
    Isn’t that fine.

  • BadKitty904
  • Bill D. Burger
    • jesterpunk

      Is he the one that setup the meeting with Jr to talk about Russian Babbies?

      • Bill D. Burger

        A fine little discussion ONLY meant to Save the Commie Babies!

      • RMKH

        Please, use the Wonkette conventions: “Bouncing Russian babies”

    • Crank Tango

      The Dad from Webster?

    • Donna Mueller

      wonder how don jr. is feeling this FINE october mornin’???

    • Kryptonian Canis

      Holy shit, that’s explicit.

      • Darrell Imaginarian

        Barely more so than the overture to Donnie Jr. Obviously the Kremlin was transmitting the same message to Trump campaign along a bunch of different channels.

  • Mavenmaven

    Putin has been stockpiling polonium for times like these.

    • Me not sure

      A little bit goes a long way.

  • Crystalclear12

    I believe part of the reason the indictments came now is because Republicans were talking about shutting down some of their investigations.

    Mueller sees you.

  • Dept. of Space Tacos

    I’m sure it’s been said already, but:

    How many of Hillary Clinton’s associates have been charged with conspiracy against the United States?
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/2c9b5107a431adf4e406486194b57212eec7a0918b334e24a626933a6d52b832.jpg

  • wide_stance_hubby

    I wonder if his hands are shaking too badly to do his hair this morning?

  • “I want read, to you, from the indictment…” are pretty sweet words

    • BadKitty904

      AT. LAST.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    It’s starting!

  • Vagenda and Pee-ara

    Hack on Fox News – “I don’t see Trump’s name on any of those indictments, and the economy is fantastic, so does any of this really matter?”

    LOL, sure, because he’s totally innocent, and the economy will stay strong..

    • BadKitty904
      • Joe Beese

        I don’t think he can afford $10,000.

        • BadKitty904

          Say, Vlad, can you help a brother out? Again?

    • Everrett Fanuelli

      The economy is fantastic because, so far, Trump and the Republicans haven’t managed to pass any of their fucked up legislation. Ergo, it’s still Obama’s economy.

    • sillyclucker

      Haha, Fox Hack. You think Mueller’s through ? He’s just getting started.

    • BMW

      “…the economy is fantastic…”

      #thanksobama

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      “I’ve got 5 bucks and my crack pipe…does that F- 5 tornado bearing down on my house really matter?”

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        But the economy!

        These idiots actually believe Trump has somehow magically transformed a failing economy that Trump told them was terrible 11 months ago, into the booming powerhouse it is today. That’s how dumb these people are.

        • Dept. of Space Tacos

          to be totally fair – I’ve seen some numbers that wooshed up starting around early november, but I’m convinced that was “confidence” in him doing all the things he’d do.

          I think a “correction” is coming however. (And this is something I really know little about, but a confidence bubble seems more likely than actual gains)

          • Vagenda and Pee-ara

            I see your point, but the stock market also boomed under George W. Bush, until it completely collapsed. Right now the economy is very good, but it was also very good under Obama, and Trump has done absolutely NOTHING to make the economy better, other than get rid of regulations, which haven’t even taken effect yet, and when they do take effect, people will just get pissed off that they’re being poisoned, like they always do.

    • Dept. of Space Tacos

      meanwhie, the Rs want to start ANOTHER email investigation.

      Oh, but Hillary’s name was on the emails, I guess? Also, remember that Obama’s pastor once “god damned” the U.S. and Obama knew Bill Ayers at some point.

      Hopefully anybody with brains who voted for Trump is getting wise. The brainless ones are unreachable.

      • Persistent Tennessee Rain

        I can’t go anywhere near Facebook. All of those people who posted, “we need to give him a chance,” can fuck themselves with Jane Fonda and Lily Tomlin’s dildo which is grossly large and resembles a purple prickly pickle.

        • Alan

          Give him a chance to what?

          • Persistent Tennessee Rain

            Fuck up the country?

          • Alan

            That all I’ve got but meh, I’m no political science expert.

      • Alan

        My great grandfather’s uncle was hanged for murder.

  • Bill D. Burger
  • Shibusa
    • Crystalclear12

      And Happy Impeachments!

  • Bill D. Burger
    • Joe Beese

      Whammy!

    • Rags

      I’m gonna irresponsibly speculate that Papadapalaplouses’ plea is because he has flipped for Mueller. The deal was for a lighter sentence if he pled and his info turned out to be of value; if he doesn’t cooperate, they can put him away for much looooonger.

  • C4TWOMAN

    I was walking to the bus stop and right as I crested the hill the sun was peaking over the horizon. Now this news.
    It IS a beautiful day!
    *Purrs*

  • Bub, the cynical zombie
  • BadKitty904
    • ManchuCandidate

      RINO!

    • Put On Your War Paint!

      Deep State!!!!11!

    • Michael Smith

      Cuck!!1!

    • goonemeritus

      He doesn’t watch Alec Jones so he is probably an
      Anarcho Syndicalist

  • Xylem

    He’ll learn to love the bracing sensation brought on by a stainless steel toilet.

  • Dept. of Space Tacos

    wow, the surrendering is bad for Trump & Co., the surrender is bad for them – all on the same day is fucking biblically bad.
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/030ffa177c7b242338b739c3ac1b23a548c2541775c06be83694000d1b0cc870.png

  • Biel_ze_Bubba

    That was Putin’s money – anybody believe Pootie didn’t know all about Manafort’s illegal-as-shit shenanigans? And therefore had Manafort’s balls in a vise when Il Douche inexplicably hired him?

  • Doug Langley

    First Monday in 3 months I slept late. Chatted with 3 recruiters this morning. Now I see some good news. My, what a beautiful morning.

  • laughingnome

    In the Papadopolous guilty plea it mentions his Campaign Supervisor numerous times – who is this??? Supervisor was well-informed about Paps activities colluding with Russians – one of whom is a relative of Putin

  • Bill D. Burger

    “Need to tweetNeed to tweetNeed to tweetNeed to tweetNeed to tweet….can’t think…..”

    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DNZHK2cW4AES8Uc.jpg

    • wide_stance_hubby

      Yes, also known as The Rest of Your Life, pal.

  • Velshi and Rhule are trying Manafort to Wilbur Ross via Cyprus banking!

    • Me not sure

      I knew it!

    • Oh Wilbur, you’ve got the blues.

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LND1PypBnrU

      • The Wanderer

        (sings unnecessarily)
        A horse is a horse
        Of course of course
        And no one can have sexual intercourse
        With a horse of course
        Unless of course that fucking horse
        Is the famous Mister Ed!

    • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

      The Secretary of Commerce you say? Sweet jeesus.

      • Oblios_Cap

        *GASP* A trump cabinet member might be corrupt?

    • MynameisBlarney

      Yup.
      Heads SHOULD be fucking rolling soon.

    • Bill D. Burger

      YES!

      Sorry for the caps. Got carried away.

      • Crystalclear12

        Today is a caps lock kinda day.

  • MynameisBlarney
  • Crank Tango

    This is good news for John McCain.

  • Bill D. Burger

    Think I’ll get three of these: One for the barn, one for the stables and one for the mud room.
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/16bbe4cb44faf628af57a35693197f6b836bd434a13d6a9606837b45b218dadc.jpg

  • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste
  • ariel_gee_398

    Aside from everything else, I feel so relieved that we have evidence that someone in government (Mueller) is capable of actually doing the job responsibly, without tweeting or leaking like a sieve, and taking the role seriously. Forget the hope for Kelly and Mattis, Mueller may be the only adult we’ve got in there now.

    • Persistent Tennessee Rain

      And hats off to his ability to hire competent people (some might call them, “the best”)

      • ariel_gee_398

        Who don’t run off to the NY Times to gossip about the latest palace intrigue.

        • alwayspunkindrublic

          Not according to Chris Christie of course, who claimed this weekend that Mueller is the real criminal because news of the indictment was made public.

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    “Man, that first beer is gonna taste GOOD tonight!”

    –Robert Mueller

    • Khavrinen

      I suspect there’d be more than a few Americans willing to buy him one tonight.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        I’d buy him the whole bar.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Any other questions?

    Yeah–what excuse are you TrumpPenceZees going to use when Mueller does move in for the kill*?

    * OK OK, with indictments

  • Crystalclear12

    I feel bad I didn’t get Mueller anything.

    • Persistent Tennessee Rain

      Turns out it was just another hoaxy witch hunt. Sad!

  • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

    Toss the rats in a cage – watch ’em eat each other.

  • NastyBossetti

    This is really distracting me from obsessively refreshing the results page of a strength event I competed in Saturday.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      Why don’t you share the page with us and we’ll keep track of it for you.

      • NastyBossetti

        You guys are all too distracted, too!

  • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

    Just how the fuck am I to get any work done today?!

    • Bill D. Burger

      I gotta’ muck out the stables. Gonna’ turn one of the overhead monitors and enjoy while I shovel horse shit. It’s all so ironic, huh?

    • MynameisBlarney
    • Snark Tank Full of Resistance

      Switch over to Faux Noise. They won’t be covering any of this shit today.

      • Marion in Savannah

        Well, they’re all over the hamburger emoji scandal.

      • Khavrinen

        Au contraire, I heard they’re right on top of a big scoop about hamburger/cheeseburger emojis! Big, important stuff!!

        • Kakkeltje

          We will finally know where to put the lettuce on the nothing-burger.

  • Reximus

    Happy #Arrestivus everybody

    • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

      Merry Meullermas back at ya.

    • Rags

      And I know exactly where the #Arrestivus pole should go. Lubricated with votes, of course.

  • MynameisBlarney
    • jesterpunk
      • MynameisBlarney

        Is he cooking that cake we like?

    • BadKitty904

      I dare say every single enemy Trump’s ever made is licking their chops right now…

      • MynameisBlarney

        I would imagine that he’s got far more enemies than actual friends.

        • BadKitty904

          “Friends”?

          • MynameisBlarney

            Suck-ups?

          • BadKitty904

            Trump’s money has lots of “friends”. Donnie, not so much. And don’t think all the people he’s stiffed, screwed over, belittled, and betrayed over the years have forgotten him.

  • BadKitty904
    • Doug Langley

      Da-dum
      Da-dum

      • From Russia with Love

        I love Republican chum in the morning!

    • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

      “We’re gonna need a bigger federal penitentiary.”

      • BadKitty904

        Dude, truly.

    • FlemmishSpy

      Manifort in Donnie’s chum.

  • Flashman

    In terms of burning Trump, the George Papadopolous confession is the more interesting. It implies that Papadopolous is cooperating. I will personally be happy to buy him a bottle of whatever he’s drinking to keep him talking.

  • C4TWOMAN

    Now’s a good time to check infolulz and see what conspiracy they’re spinning to explain this.
    Be back in a mo…

    • C4TWOMAN

      It’s pretty bland copy pasta from AP. But the comments are all Mueller is a traitor and when are they arresting Hillary…

  • Marion in Savannah

    Here’s what Charlie Pierce has to say about all of this. (And I want to have the children of the man who calls Fox and Friends “Three Dolts On A Divan.”)

    http://www.esquire.com/news-politics/politics/a13118388/manafort-charges-russia-investigation/

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
  • Master Contrail Program

    NO COLLUSION in all caps.

    Well, there it is. 30,000,000 of America’s finest internet legal scholars have now been satisfied.

    • BadKitty904

      Remember when Obama kept saying that? Neither does anybody else.

  • Skwerl the Nazi Puncher

    Oh look Eric, Son of Eric speaks:

    Much of the political left is cheering about the indictment of Donald Trump’s former campaign manager, Paul Manafort. They think it will undermine President Trump. The problem, though, is that it appears increasingly likely that Manfort’s indictment has nothing to do with the Trump campaign.

    Hahahahahahahahaha!

  • Everrett Fanuelli
    • MynameisBlarney

      One of my favorite albums.

  • Joe Beese
    • NastyBossetti

      And they stopped being bad guys when they were working for the campaign?

      • Khavrinen

        It’s Republican transubstantiation.

    • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

      Trump always hires the BEST bad guys. ‘

      And let’s give a hand to conservatives’ extensive vetting practices. Good job, guys!

  • Bill D. Burger

    Out to muck out the stables. Gonna’ turn one of the overhead monitors and enjoy while I shovel horse shit.

    Irony overload!

  • Bub, the cynical zombie
  • UnsaltedSinner

    https://twitter.com/AdamSerwer/status/925017248691081216
    https://twitter.com/ryanlcooper/status/925018171098230784

    The great thing about being a pessimist is that you are rarely disappointed, but quite frequently pleasantly surprised. Today is an example of the latter.

  • Put On Your War Paint!

    “I say, I do say MistuhPresident…if’n Y’all fired Muellah, it’ll put a lot of Grease in th’ Gartahs of th’ Impeachment Movement.”

    “Kelly?”

    “Foghorn the Steampunk Lawyer is correct, Mr. President. Better to say we didn’t really know Manafort, he was just a quiet, loner-type, lived down the hall.”

    • Dept. of Space Tacos

      steampunk libelz!

      • Put On Your War Paint!

        https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/f34bfcf804015fd9f9673bcba9a6bcbdacd08452381e3239ef00cf84f2c58758.jpg

        Oh, I know. Everyone is entitled to Legal Counsel, and it’s not my look-out if they hire an idiot that looks like he stepped out of a “Casey At The Bat” etching.

        • Christopher Story

          You look like you should be standing in front of something that goes really fast. And flies.

          • Put On Your War Paint!

            xD A Steampunk Airship!

            My outfit is meant to be Engineer Girl. I still haven’t found the old Monkey Wrench I want, the rest of the outfit is in-hand, though.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
    • Beanz&Berryz

      Trump will just give him a (useless) pardon for it…

      • Everrett Fanuelli

        Trump can’t pardon state crimes

    • cmd resistor

      I’m sorry but that guy is not a real person, but a wax dummy.

      • AmazingProfessionalCrastinator

        Well, at the very least a dummy.

    • From Russia with Love

      Mmmm, state charges. We need more of those!

  • So, when is the pardon signing ceremony in the Rose Garden?

    • From Russia with Love

      Gonna need to fill the photocopier first.

  • Mr. Blobfish

    I’m having pizza and ice cream for breakfast.

  • Joe Beese

    Papa Dop worked as an adviser to the Ben Carson campaign, until it was suspended.

    The best people!

    • President in Exile Firefly

      Did he collude with a Popeye’s Establishment?

  • Beanz&Berryz

    Late to the conversation, so it might already have been said, but conspiracy against the United States sounds alot more treasony than all those other grifty-sounding charges… And I just wonder, what treason-like conspiracy against the United States is a died-in-the-wool grifter likely to get involved in, unless there’s something related to the government, like maybe an election… Hmmmm…

    • Joe Beese

      It’s unclear whether “conspiracy against the United States” could mean simply “conspiracy to break the laws of the United States” – which is sort of entailed in any kind of federal crime.

      • PDT

        I was just asking a friend about this, is there a lawyer to lawsplain this for us? Has anybody been convicted of this before?

        • shivaskeeper

          Not a lawyer. But from what I’m reading the conspiracy charge is just the part of the crime where they planned it. They conspired to defraud the government. It wasn’t an accident. Yes people get convicted of it .

    • Persistent Tennessee Rain

      Apparently, that’s only a misdemeanor. The more serious crimes are the “failed to register” and the tax evasion charges.

      • shivaskeeper

        It’s only a treated as a misdemeanor if the underlying crime is a misdemeanor. Then sentencing is maxed out at whatever the underlying misdemeanor calls for, otherwise it’s a max of 5 years in jail.

    • Marion in Savannah
      • Put On Your War Paint!

        Faster than me today!

    • shivaskeeper

      Conspiracy to defraud. Tax evasion on a larger scale and money laundering.

      http://uscode.house.gov/view.xhtml?path=/prelim@title18/part1/chapter19&edition=prelim

  • BadKitty904
    • Beanz&Berryz

      The leak is the crime, not the crime the leak is about…

      • BadKitty904

        GOPism.

    • From Russia with Love

      The Republican Idea Pool is 100 meters long and a centimeter deep.

  • OrG

    Best. Halloween. Ever.

    • Beautiful Soup

      I never celebrated Mischief night as a a child but I may start now. Does anyone have Manafort’s address?

  • Dept. of Space Tacos

    The gentleman commenter from Texas moves the Wonkette staff take the rest of hte day off and just make this our open thread. They deserve it. And we’re having WAY too much (well-deserved) fun.

    ; D

    • Beautiful Soup

      Seconded!

    • jesterpunk

      Thirded.

    • Marion in Savannah

      It’ll probably break DicksUs, but how could we tell? Go for it!

    • BadKitty904
    • GoutMachine

      Maybe a new one. I’m having trouble keeping up on this one!

    • Comment section will collapse under its own weight by noon though. (Currently 11:35…)

      • Dept. of Space Tacos

        I would be okay amending my bill to allow for a new celebratory open thread, PROVIDED there’s no more work for the wonkette stuff, other than mixing cocktails and enjoying the show.

        • fredoandme

          agreed.

  • Vagenda and Pee-ara

    Judith Miller on Fox News: “isn’t it kind of ridiculous to suggest that Hillary Clinton colluded with Russia to sabotage her own campaign?”
    Idiot Guy on Fox News: “well, I think there’s a strong case to be made that Hillary Clinton should be investigated.”

    • Dept. of Space Tacos

      “She is Hillary Clinton after all.” – Idiot Guy

      • BadKitty904

        *sigh*

    • MynameisBlarney

      They’ve “investigated” her for 30 fuckin’ years, haven’t found a goddamn thing on her, yet they continue to rake her over the coals.
      She must have REALLY pissed them off with her “Vast Right Wing Conspiracy” claim.

      Because, guess what? She was fuckin’ right.

      • From Russia with Love

        Amen.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      JUDITH MILLER?? I thought she was locked away permanently in the Cave of Shame somewhere?

      • So, on Faux Gnus

        • IdRatherBeDancing

          Otherwise known as the 9th Ring of Hell to anyone who fancies him or herself a journalist.

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        She is…she’s a Fox News contributor.

  • From Russia with Love

    This all seems so tedious. Wouldn’t it be more expeditious just to catch Donald getting a blowjob from an intern so we could impeach him?

    Of course given today’s events, who would fuck Donald Trump?

  • SweetDeeKat

    You gotta read the indictment to the end. Forfeiture time! We’re taking all his money, we’re taking all his money…

    • From Russia with Love

      No shit, the reading gets particularly enjoyable at para 52.

    • OrG

      No commissary for you Paulie!

      • Beanz&Berryz

        He can earn his dollar a day like everyone else…

        • alwayspunkindrublic

          Man, I’m getting one of those license plates, no matter what it takes.

    • Daniel

      Like a bunch of common liberals!

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      “Your new puppy? Nah, we’re taking that too.”

      • From Russia with Love

        Do you have any dreams? We want those too.

        — Richard Pryor

    • LesBontemps

      Well, you gotta know how to hurt him to get him feeling cooperative.

  • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

    “That morning Vladimir Putin read the news and realized that the sanctions by the United States were liable to stand.”
    And then the murders began…

  • BadKitty904
  • eyelashviper

    So, are the Breitbots still shrieking about Hillary being indicted today, also too?

  • Covfefe

    A specter is haunting the White House. The specter of Muellerism.

    • President in Exile Firefly

      Colluders of the world, unite!

  • nightmoth

    This is how I feel right now!
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k_iBe4swTi8

    • Marion in Savannah

      Oh, God… I just LOVE the pipes!

      • MynameisBlarney

        Me too.

      • Persistent Tennessee Rain

        Total marching band nerd here – throw in the bag pipes and I really get all tingly!

        • AmazingProfessionalCrastinator

          Marching band was one of the few things I liked about high school.

      • AmazingProfessionalCrastinator
        • Marion in Savannah

          Oh, we’ve been Anna Russell fans for years and years and years! Actually have seen her live, on one of her many “farewell” tours. She was spectacular.

    • BadKitty904

      Hoots!

  • jesterpunk
  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
    • Me The People

      Getting all smokey and gunny up in here already.

      • laughingnome

        That plea is mainly shots fired

    • Reximus

      This is WAY worse than Paulie and Gates for Twitler

    • laughingnome

      I’m dying to know who the Campaign Supervisor mentioned is

  • jesterpunk
  • Alan

    Wonkette seems particularly lively for a Monday morning.

    • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

      I had a hard time sleeping last night. Couldn’t wait to find out who was the first hapless loser to go to jail. Now we’re all atwitter with excitement. MUELLER KEPT HIS PROMISE TO MANAFORT! Now we want the next shoe to drop. AND we get Popad…(mumble mumble) as a bonus!

      • Covfefe

        Now me, I’ve been sleeping the sleep of the just since Friday.

    • Edith Prickly

      Muellermas and Arrestivus happened on the same day.

  • Dept. of Space Tacos
  • rosenbomb

    I bet if you ask Trump what the DNC did that was so dastardly, he wouldn’t be able to come up with an answer. Hillary and the DNC evoke Pavlovian frothing at the mouth from his base.

    But we have the brains on our side, and we have been patiently waiting. The indictments will keep comin’

    • shivaskeeper

      That is bog standard troll. Trolling 101, really. almost none of them can explain or articulate what they are pissed or arguing about, but they damn sure believe it.

  • IdRatherBeDancing

    The Twitter intellegentsia is saying the guilty plea from Papadapolous is really the big catch today cause he is the link to the meeting with the Russians. I can guarantee the dumbass wingnuttia will think its George Stephanapolous and say “SEE CLINTON”

    • GoutMachine

      I was thinking the same thing. Anyone checked Snuffleupagus’ Twitter feed? “Ahem. Wrong Greek George.:

    • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

      Trump: “Why are all these dinosaurs trying to ruin the country? MAGA!”

    • Ghenghis McCann

      ‘It’s all Greek to me.’

    • Persistent Demme

      And that’s OK, because we (and Mueller) know the difference!

      (*Now I will commence with my Snoopy dance!*)

  • Bub, the cynical zombie
  • Vagenda and Pee-ara

    Idiot on Fox News*: the owner’s of the football teams free speech rights trump the free speech rights of the players on the field…because of reasons.

    *this idiot was a young black man, whose name I did not catch.

    Fun fact – I’ve met Robert McNair and his wife, very briefly, many years ago. I didn’t know they were assholes at the time.

    • C4TWOMAN

      Some people are situational asshole s?

    • Johnatx

      Bob McNair is a major jerk. A couple of years ago, there was a referendum on the equal rights ordinance that the city of Houston passed (Houston HERO ordinance) He contributed to the campaign that ran against the ordinance. Major, major jerk

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        He owns a massive 25,000 square foot, beachfront home in my town, that he visits for 6 weeks a year. You guys can keep him!

    • JohnBull

      More Money = speech. Thanks John Roberts.

  • goonemeritus

    If Trump isn’t careful he might damage his credibility with some of these poorly considered statements.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      When he twatters “NO COLLUSION”, and we know that statistically, 90% of everything he twatters is a lie, what conclusion can we draw?

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    One last one before I really do have to go for a bit:

    https://twitter.com/FiveThirtyEight/status/925020505060593664

    • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

      How many mimosas count as a day?

      • MynameisBlarney

        42?

        • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

          What do you get when you add up all the sides of a pair of dice?

          • MynameisBlarney

            I was told there would be no maths.

        • C4TWOMAN

          No no that’s the ultimate answer to the ultimate question of life, the universe and everything.
          Belgium!

          • MynameisBlarney

            Well…damn.

      • Crystalclear12

        We were supposed to keep track?!
        Bottles or glasses?

    • Covfefe

      Taking false tales to the FBI is a nothing charge. Hardly a year. In the trade, it’s called “a sweetheart deal.”

  • DesertedPictures

    President Donald Trump has a question. Why aren’t ‘crooked Hillary’ and the Dems the focus of the investigation?

    Just forget about the fact that Clinton has been investigated a zillion times without anything substantial ever coming off it… Let’s instead imagine that she might have done something wrong. Why isn’t she the focus of this investigation?

    Because she is not the president, you twit!

  • Carpe Vagenda

    Oh, this is weird – there’s a very NYC thing from the early 20th century immigration wave (which still exists in the police department) that the wise older man who promotes and protects you is called your rabbi. Which Trump and his inner circle, at least, would know, since the family business paid off every NY political machine in sight for well over half a century.

    So it’s super-weird that the someone in the WH said this about Gates:

    It’s not a secret that Gates, who has been moved around from position to position from 2016 onward, is not liked by the president, who considers his former aide a hanger-on, according to multiple sources with direct knowledge of Trump’s sour feelings toward Gates.

    “Trump still hates him,” another GOP source familiar with the relationship told The Daily Beast, describing Gates as “Manafort’s rabbi.”

    Which, OK, you keep using this word, I do not think it means &c, but also, there are people in Trump’s White House using ‘rabbi’ to mean useless minion to reporters?

    Suppose Jared knows?

  • TheGrandWazoo2

    An indictment a day puts the Trumps away.

  • Persistent Demme

    Oh, frabjous day!

    • BadKitty904

      “Callooh! Callay!” He chortled in his joy.

  • MynameisBlarney
  • Walter Wellstone

    Donald throwing Manafort, Gates and Papadopoulos under the bus in 3, 2, …

    • wide_stance_hubby

      Never met them. Never heard of them.

      • C4TWOMAN

        Mandolin, Grover and Pompadour?
        Never heard of them.

        • JohnBull

          Worst ELO cover band ever.

          • Msgr_MΩment

            Some called them the Pompadours of Love.

    • President in Exile Firefly

      He’ll definitely show them the gates. Who’s manning the fort now?

      • miss_grundy

        Let’s see what SHS has to say at today’s press conference. It’s a shame that the media won’t unleash a hurricane of questions at her lying face.

    • Khavrinen

      You mean he hasn’t already?!?

  • Crystalclear12

    Can we have a counter to keep track of how many times we hear the phrase:
    This is just a distraction from the (insert adjective) tax reform.

    • GoutMachine

      This is good news for John McCain.

    • C4TWOMAN

      Can we have a counter to the next indictment?

  • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist
    • OrG

      Many works also too.

  • Joe Beese

    RYAN: Thank you… We’ve heard you’re going to be announcing your foreign policy team shortly… Any you can share with us?

    TRUMP: Well, I hadn’t thought of doing it, but if you want I can give you some of the names… George Papadopoulos, he’s an energy and oil consultant, excellent guy…

    https://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/post-partisan/wp/2016/03/21/a-transcript-of-donald-trumps-meeting-with-the-washington-post-editorial-board/

    • Khavrinen

      Fake News, obviously!!!1! How could Trump have been considering Papadopoulos for the team, when he’s never even heard the guy’s name. And couldn’t spell it if he had.

  • jesterpunk
  • Ryan Denniston

    Draining the swamp by hiring the best people. Words us Mr. Preznit. Bring us the best words!

  • cmd resistor

    I feel compelled to keep posting this 1985 photo of Manafort, Stone, and Lee Atwater. Perhaps to support Trump’s assertion that all the bad stuff was BEFORE he was campaign manager. Palling around with Roger Stone.
    https://static.politico.com/92/e0/530aabf74f4bbe7fe9372b28ae40/paul-manafort-roger-stone-lee-atwater.jpg

    • John Thorstensen

      Jesus. Talk about the Axis of Evil.

      • the_steamer

        More like an axe body spray of evil amirite?

    • Red Bird

      Three useless assholes. They knowingly created conflict among Americans by stoking racial animosity. Lee got his. I hope the other two get there’s ten fold. Sorry not sorry.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Masters of the Universe, indeed.

    • Red Richmond

      Christ a’mighty, if I walked into a room and that was what waited for me, I would back the fuck up out of there as fast as I could. Back up, mind you, not turn and run, because you should never turn your back on the devil.

    • Crank Tango

      Jesus, what did the camera catch them doing?

  • Everrett Fanuelli

    CNN home page leading with Papadapolous charge. It’s got legs.

    • Me The People

      I’m halfway through reading it – this is huge. Note how similar his initial lying statements are to all the lying statements from everyone on the Trump campaign all along about this.

      • laughingnome

        Thought the same thing. And I’m so looking forward to finding out who the Campaign Supervisor is that Paps was reporting to

    • Persistent Tennessee Rain

      Trump could have lived out his life a wealthy man, passed that wealth onto his children and no one would have ever bothered him. Instead, he decided he needed to fuck up an entire country, but not give up his golf game in the process. I really hate that fucker.

      • Crank Tango

        Too bad he never found Nobama’s Kenyan gift certificate in Hawaii, he could have stopped there.

      • Rags

        That’s the malignance of narcissism in a nutshell. A very small nutshell.

      • ltmcdies

        all because the black guy laughed at him at dinner that one time

    • Maria Sewell

      Love that it comes with a guilty plea, that Mueller concealed it from Manafort and everyone else till today, and that Pap served Trump under Sessions

    • Rags
  • President in Exile Firefly

    But the real issue here is that President Hillary Clinton murdered four Americans in Benghazi with uranium given to her by the Russians, while emailing gleefully about it 30,000 times.

    • GoutMachine

      …while having lezbeeyan secks with Huma!

      • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

        I don’t even care if they’re photoshopped pics.

    • OrdinaryJoe

      From the basement dungeon of a pizza parlor and human trafficking headquarters.

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    What I would give for video of Manafort being served his first green bologna sandwich in the joint.

    • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

      When we were remodeling, one of the carpenters (great guy, now a good friend) was on work release and would bring his brown bag from the joint. Yes, indeedy, day after day, bologna on white bread, a little squeeze bag of mayo and watered down apple juice.

      I determined to never break the law because the food would fucking kill me.

      • WeaselPoo

        You don”t have to break the law; at the “warming center/shelter” I had to use last winter, all the food we homeless got was the prison grub—-those sandwiches—and less of it than the prisoners.,

  • Master Contrail Program

    Sure, we’re all laughing now but wait until Manafort’s surprise character witnesses are through.

    https://youtu.be/s5_kqijQHv4 https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/c486b307c50aad50926725ff7ba8fd16b292c2155d5fc86f90973ff8bceb7245.jpg

  • Ryan Denniston

    Wonkette is being very unfair to Trump, who is both the president and all of the victims.

    https://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/925005659569041409?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw&ref_url=https%3A%2F%2Ffeedly.com%2F

    • jesterpunk

      Because Hillary isnt President you dumbass.

      • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

        Yeah, you won, she lost, GET OVER IT!

      • OrG

        Not guilty also too.

        • jesterpunk

          Well yeah that too, they have only been investigating her for almost 40 years and still haven’t found anything.

    • Everrett Fanuelli

      The Bots believe this is very popular. MAGA!

    • DesertedPictures

      You know the way Clinton was treated before the election? That’s how you treat any misstep of a president. You are (or should be) treated like Clinton now. And this is still very mild, compared to the Clinton treatment.

    • Crank Tango

      How does HE know exactly when all of Manfort’s crimes occurred?

      • cmd resistor

        Read it on his job application/resume before he was hired by campaign.

    • Rags

      Nu Uh! From the indictment

      14. Between in or around 2008 and 2017, both dates being approximate and inclusive, in the
      District of Columbia and elsewhere, MANAFORT and GATES devised and intended to devise,
      and executed and attempted to execute, a scheme and artifice to defraud

    • the_steamer

      What is Trump saying here? Are these things he knew about Manafort? Were these selling points for his resume to be campaign manager?

  • wide_stance_hubby

    Mueller is like the ketchup on the burnt steak of his life now.

  • John Thorstensen

    A deeply expert lawyer acquintance on EvilBook read the indictment and said it is “beautifully crafted”. It carefully avoids any focus on Trump. He believes its purpose is to pressure Manfort into squealing.

    My lawyer acquaintance is pretty much in awe of Mueller’s judgment, experience, and overall competence for this kind of job. He believes that Trump will be in jail before this is over.

    • Ojalá!

    • John Thorstensen

      Oh, I might add that the contrast between Mueller’s team and Trump’s legal advisors is, uh, stark.

    • jodyleek

      From your lips to Cthulhu’s ear-holes.

    • TJ Barke

      Oh please, god, let it be true.

    • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

      That we buy that person a beer?

    • SweetDeeKat

      The figures, charts and dates are a thing of elegant beauty. I started to purr as I reached the end.

    • Maggielle

      Did he mention whether he thinks any impending statutes of limitation played a part in the timing? I no longer do paralegal work but I still have nightmares about missing SOLs.

  • Ryan Denniston

    Does conspiracy to defraud the US America mean tennis prison, or Oz prison?

  • TheGrandWazoo2

    Here’s to hoping Trump won’t even have the power to pardon a turkey this Thanksgiving.

    • Maggielle

      He should have to walk through the turkey habitat and beg for forgiveness from them. That’d be must see TV.

  • Mr. Blobfish
    • MynameisBlarney

      RESPEK ARE FLAIG!

    • Everrett Fanuelli

      Nice Fanny Pack, Nerd!

      • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

        Why is the fanny pack not on the fanny but instead on her crotch?

        To keep Donald out of it.

        Thanks folks, I’m here all week.

        • GoutMachine

          Well, in Britain, fanny = vajayjay, so …

          • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

            Guess I need to spend more quality time in Britain.

          • OrdinaryJoe

            Or, she’d rather have POTUS 41 pinching her ass than DOTARDUS grabbing her pussy.

          • Maggielle

            Okay, so idiomatic language question: I don’t hear many people in the US using the word fanny much any more, although I did when I was a kid, and everyone knew it meant yer butt cheeks. So no one was skeeved out by it.

            And in Scotland, they use “cunt” a lot, but it seems like they mean in more like “jerk” or “asshole”. But in the US, it’s a big time don’t-go-there: it’s the C-word.

            So is “fanny” regarded like the C-word in Britain? Or is it used in a less deliberately offensive way? Is it more like pussy or (my fave) netherbits?

        • Crank Tango

          It’s the British version.

    • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

      I suddenly feel a great deal of sympathy for Evan and his Jared crush.

    • Put On Your War Paint!

      She’s so bland.

      • MynameisBlarney

        Vanilla, if you will.

        • Crank Tango

          Vanilla libel! That bitch is unflavored, unsweetened, and full of artificial color.

        • Put On Your War Paint!

          *nods*. Mom said when I was an infant, I’d stop fussing if a Blonde nurse picked me up, and 2 of the cutest girls I know are Blonde Girl-Next-Door Hotties.

          But the R’s are really, really into Bland, Even-Featured Bottle-Blondes that shouldn’t get a first look, IMHO.

          • OrdinaryJoe

            Have to admit she is hot. I would. But I would hate myself in the morning and probably feel the need to go to confession for the first time in 40 years.

      • Maggielle

        She’ll never think this comment’s about her. (Except no comments as we all know.)

    • Crank Tango

      Demoncrats have no respect for the flag.

    • wide_stance_hubby

      I’m thinking way too hard about this: the word, ‘America’ must wrap under her and finish somewhere north of her buttcrack.

      Is that not quite right?

      • therblig

        reposting from yesterday: she’s not tall enough for it to say “America”, so I’m going with “Anal”

        • wide_stance_hubby

          Make Anal Great Again. OK, that works.

      • BearDeLaOursistance

        ‘Twould at least get the straight guys to finally sing a showtune. “I like it here in America…”

    • Zonath

      Someone call Roy Moore – I’m sure he’ll have something to say about this flagrant violation of the Flag Code!

      4 U.S. Code § 8(d) and (j)

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      I saw a homeless guy wearing almost that exact ensemble.

    • rosenbomb

      That’s not even a costume! What is she– jingoism?

    • grindstone

      Why am I remembering a weird disembowelment scene from Silence of the Lambs where there was this same pose?

    • nightmoth

      I do believe that bikini bottom/fanny pack combination shows the US flag in the DISTRESS position! Unintentional parody?

      • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

        YES! The fanny pack was the most WTF of that outfit!

  • Dept. of Space Tacos
    • Ryan Denniston

      May that man never be without cable.

  • UncleTravelingMatt

    All this really proves is that Trump is not as good at covering up criminal activity as Hillary Clinton is.

    • Proud Liberal

      Oh yes. Trump would like to try to have us believe that.

    • ariel_gee_398

      Well, that’s her 2020 campaign slogan. Vote Hillary: No one ever found the bodies.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        “YOU try smothering a Supreme Court justice with a pillow and getting away with it sometime!”

    • 👻 my feet are spooky 👻

      Since it turns out one of them LITERALLY emailed their boss with the subject “New message from Russia”, you might just be on to something.

    • DesertedPictures

      He should have murdered more people, like Hillary.

    • OrG

      Amateur!

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      Why do you think we voted for her!

    • Pisto75666

      Needs moar pizza!

  • Me not sure

    I see where Eric Trump has sent out a fundraiser email asking Trump supporters to send “just $1.00” to help keep his daddy “still standing”. Pinching dollars from suckers is pure classic grifting. How many billions was it that they have again?

  • MynameisBlarney
  • Crank Tango
  • SheltonTodd

    Now is no time to abandon our conservative friends.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bxS9N-npE2Q

  • Joe Beese
    • Parakeetist

      Paul Ryan eats people.

      • Proud Liberal

        Especially grandmas and grandpas.

      • Ryan Denniston

        Specifically, orphans.

    • Ryan Denniston

      As evidenced by the record to date.

    • Master Contrail Program

      Pizza Day at the cafeteria?

    • BadKitty904

      Good.

    • OrG

      Wanna bet?

    • TJ Barke

      Edging towards?

      • sgt. jmk of the résistance

        Seriously!

        Ezra, honey, Paulie left “edging towards” behind him years ago.

      • cheetojeebus

        It’s alike a tight ring around their agenda.

        • nightmoth

          Matches the tight ring around their balls.

    • MynameisBlarney

      He is either ignoring that dot growing on the horizon, or he truly has no concept of how fucked, royally, he and the rest of the GOP is.

  • I ate too much for breakfast in celebration. Soooo full

    • Parakeetist

      That’s a good burp.

    • Put On Your War Paint!

      I did as well. :D

    • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

      I was too keyed up to eat. Finally choked down a little cereal, yogurt and mango a half hour ago.

    • sgt. jmk of the résistance

      I am toasting this with so many cups of green tea that I’m pretty sure I’ve become faintly tinged with green myself.

      And I don’t care. Woot!!

  • MynameisBlarney

    When you’re not as smart as Homer Simpson.
    *side-eyes turmp*

    https://www.democraticunderground.com/1017464215

  • Painter on with Velshi and Rhule!

  • Dept. of Space Tacos

    Mueller rehearses the song he wrote for Trump:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SYzB_QqxXu4

    • Dept. of Space Tacos

      p.s. There is NSFW at the very very very end of this, my bad.

  • Shibusa

    Let’s also remember that Mike Pence was hand-picked to be Trump’s running mate by … Paul Manafort!

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      Odd, for a guy that only worked there for a few minutes and no one really knew him, right?

    • Proud Liberal

      And Roger Stone recommended Manafort. Oh the tangled web we weave…

  • BadKitty904

    Quick, I have to do some Real Work. BRB!

    • wide_stance_hubby

      Thoughts ‘N Prayers, sweety dahling.

      • BadKitty904

        Pats?

    • Meccalopolis

      IKR, just got done with a class and I’m right back here. I wish everyday were Mueller Day!

  • IdiokraticCulturalMarxist
    • Daniel

      “You can’t move there.”
      “What do you mean?”
      “I don’t let blacks move in my squares.”

    • Joe Beese

      Mueller has Trump in zugzwang, all right.

  • JMP

    So what is Fox “News” covering this morning?

    • GoutMachine

      Best Halloween candy and hamburger emojis, apparently. (For real.)

      • Parakeetist

        Wha

        That was not the reason I went to journalism school.

    • OrG

      Cheeseburger emojis.

      • Ghenghis McCann

        There’s more than one cheeseburger emoji? Why?

        • cmd resistor

          So I kept reading about FOX covering this an had to look it up Apparently some controversy about whether the cheese goes at the bottom or on top of the meat. I can see what they’d run with that story.

        • OrG

          Cheese on top OR cheese on bottom.
          F’reals.

  • BearDeLaOursistance

    Oh, come off it, Bob. It’s not like he was a black guy selling loose cigarettes or something.

  • BigCSouthside

    So papadapoulus met with Russian assets promising dirt in March, and then in July trump is teasing email dirt, and the Wikileaks releases emails? And I’m supposed to believe this is all coincidence?

    • lowenufc

      If you wear or bought a MAGA hat, then of course it is all coincidence.

  • Joe Beese

    O/T: I no longer care how good your Christopher Walken impression is.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/683695a4496922563ca6b565802da3bc6b7637450f488e5081c0db6b01bc16cf.png

    • Correct

    • MynameisBlarney

      I had those glasses.

      • Joe Beese

        Me too.

    • Thiazin Red

      He looks about 10, so no one can try to pull the “he looked older than 14” excuse.

  • Msgr_MΩment

    I’ll miss George Stefanopoulis on the Sunday shows.

    Wait, what?

  • lowenufc

    Them dominos, they fall, don’t they?

    • Gravity, you can’t explain it!

      • John Thorstensen

        Sure you can. Matter tells spacetime how to curve, and curvature tells matter how to move.

        • OrG

          Commie!

          • lowenufc

            You say the nicest things!

      • Johnnymoreno

        Positing multiverses seems to work….

  • disqus_lWwzrwNaw6

    One down.

    And a particularly sleazy and dreadful one, at that. Definitely Donald’s type.

    I wonder how Manafort’s daughters are feeling right now.

    http://www.businessinsider.com/paul-manafort-daughter-text-messages-ukraine-2017-3

  • Now, i really wanna find out what Pence knows. On this matter. NOTHING ELSE

    • weejee

      True dat. Best to round-up the true believer before impeachment of 45.

    • Kryptonian Canis

      All the treason and lying is enough to make poor baby Jesus cry.

    • Crank Tango
    • Persistent Tennessee Rain

      I believe the legal standard is “know or should have known,” so he can’t get away with saying, “I was a moron with my head up my ass.” That’s not good enough. And the whole, “golly, shucks, gee whiz, heavens ‘no,’ we didn’t have anything to do with Russia,” could come back to bite him in the ass.

  • Joe Beese
  • OrdinaryJoe

    George Papadopoulos. Paul Manfort. ?.

    So begins the connecting of the dots.

  • SheltonTodd

    Waking up late here on the Left Coast to a nice hit of caffeine and a slew of indictments.
    Best. Monday. Ever.

    • SDGeoff3

      Same here. Perfect timing. It feels like christmas is coming.

      • Dept. of Space Tacos

        if I had a great job and a wonderful girflriend, I’d think I’d died and gone to heaven.

        • SDGeoff3

          Lol!!

  • Dept. of Space Tacos
  • weejee

    A trio, Manafort, Gates, and Papadopoulos, will be singing like canaries to avoid seven billion years in a high security feral slammer.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/bb7385b3fd53be906be934f332db4f0944d4dece29751625e3b83f334d3d857f.jpg

    • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

      Papadopolous was on the campaign foreign police advisory committee. The supervisor? Jeff Sessions.

      • And Manafort’s and Gates’ laundered money went through Wilbur Ross’s Cypriot bank

        • Rags

          And Ben Carson is an idiot. Just sayin’.

          • He may be the only cabinet official without direct ties to Russia, but that’s mostly because he was asleep

          • BearDeLaOursistance

            “Boris… is nyet what we meant by ‘get us a sleeper agent’.”

          • Meccalopolis

            but he woke up in brighton beach: “all passengers exit the train”

      • Khavrinen

        So what you’re saying is, there’s at least on person other than Trump who will claim to have never heard of George Papadopolous.

  • ltmcdies

    OT….Latinos in Virginia go for the jugular

    https://twitter.com/latinovictoryus/status/924972736996364289

    • Alan

      Blunt. But true.

    • Christopher Story

      Fuck yeah! That’s how you do politics.

    • Meccalopolis

      this times a million

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    Do you get to watch FOX in prison?

    • Maggielle

      Huh. Cruel and unusual? Or just desserts? You decide.

    • GoutMachine

      I think you’re forced to watch it in hell.

      • MynameisBlarney

        Wouldn’t that be a comfort for them though?
        They’d probably be forced to watch MSNBC in hell. Like all Maddow, 24/7.

      • BearDeLaOursistance

        But if watching it would be hellish for you, then you’re not among the hellbound in the first place.

    • MynameisBlarney

      From what I understand, what they allow to be viewed is strictly controlled to reduce violence.

      • The Wanderer

        Yeah. We don’t allow the news – local, state or national. Instead we have a continuous loop of material, including GED classes in math and English, CPR, anti-smoking and AIDS prevention, prison rape prevention, and a 2.5-hour block from the L. Ron Hubbard Institute called The Way to Happiness.

        • MynameisBlarney

          Ah jeeezus.
          Indoctrinating them to become Scientologists.
          Wonderful.

          • The Wanderer

            I thought so, at first. The series (you can view it on YouTube) actually has good material – “Don’t be Promiscuous,” “Don’t Murder,” etc.

        • alwayspunkindrublic

          The GED classes could be helpful for Trump administration inmates.

      • Meccalopolis

        that rules out fox. hope they like purple dinosaurs

  • Shibusa

    https://twitter.com/seanhannity/status/766819052656340993
    From the archives. (Sorry to have Hannity’s ugly mug on our site!)

    • Alan

      Yay Paul!

    • Ghenghis McCann

      ‘My Twitter account was hacked.’

    • Crank Tango

      Hahaha

  • Shibusa
    • Joe Beese

      Trump himself named Papa Dop in an interview with the Washington Post.

      He’ll have to settle for “minor figure”.

    • Mr. Blobfish

      Don’t forget Wacky Carter Page. He was also on that committee.

  • AJ Milne

    (Lawls at ‘Crooked Hillary’ gambit…)

    Nice try , Corrupt As Fuck Don.

  • Bub, the cynical zombie
  • Jim QuinnX
    • SeeTrain65

      “Fashion Means Fester!”

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KziJMAGOMa8

    • Alan

      Holy shit.

    • MynameisBlarney

      UNCLE FESTER LIBELZ!

    • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

      I object! Don’t libel my BF.

    • William

      Jeez. First poor Jackie Coogan gets his fortune squandered away as a kid then this horrible comparison.

      • TundraGrifter

        California has a “Coogan Account” for child employees. Too bad Michigan didn’t have one for Little Stevie Wonder.

        • William

          Jackie also received an air medal for his daring and critical piloting skills during WWII.

    • William

      You know Uncle Fester was at one time married to Betty Grable right?

    • Lance Thrustwell

      She does look a tad… Festresque.

    • SnowBomber

      She looks more and more like her dad every day. Blergh.

  • Zonath

    Deleted Trump tweet:

    “No charges when Crooked Hillary colludes, but when I collude, Mueller files charges! Unfair!”

    • SeeTrain65

      Oh, if it were only that easy …

  • TJ Barke

    Jolly Arrestivus, everyone!

    • SeeTrain65

      “An Arrestivus for the rest of us!”

    • Kryptonian Canis

      This is definitely going to go on the calendar as a drinking holiday from now on.

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    Good luck finding a criminal defense attorney in D.C. this morning. Job creation is working!

    • Timothy Watson

      Trump Administration: Lawyer Full Employment Act.

    • John Thorstensen

      Trump already has lawyers! Well, of a sort.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        I don’t think they sent their best people.

        • John Thorstensen

          As Kate McKinnon said on the SNL skit about being abducted by aliens, “I don’t think I was dealin’ with the top brass here.”

      • TundraGrifter

        And they are doing a damn fine job – keeping off Twitter and everything. I don’t think at this point they are even going through the motions of going through the motions. They’re just hoping the checks keep clearing.

  • BadKitty904
  • Major_Major_Major
  • Lance Thrustwell

    Almost a thousand non-comments! If this is the kind of response to the appetizer (Manafort’s indictment), I can’t wait for the main course (Mueller’s official report to Congress). It’s gonna be a Wonkgasm so mind-shattering none of us are going to be able to walk straight.

  • sangria&stretchies

    🎶 💃This is the election that never ends! Yes it goes on and on my friends! 🎶💃

    • Proud Liberal

      This reality show is starting to get good now. It’s fun watchin’ the bad guys go down!

      • sangria&stretchies

        It is quite exciting but I’m trying to stay calm and patient.

  • Skwerl the Nazi Puncher
  • MynameisBlarney
    • Dept. of Space Tacos

      may today never end…

    • So, the 2020 campaign fund goes to the legal team?

    • Skwerl the Nazi Puncher

      Yep. It is a grift he is running.

    • Proud Liberal

      He won’t be able to. He will be in prison!

      • TundraGrifter

        Actually, I don’t think there is any law against that.

        • Proud Liberal

          LOL. You’re probably right!

    • Dr. Rrrrrobotnik

      I don’t buy it for a second. He wouldn’t run if he was at all rational, but if he was that he wouldn’t have run in the first place. He’ll run again for the same reason he ran in the first election, protecting his ego. He won’t just run, he’ll have no choice.

      • MynameisBlarney

        I don’t think he’s going to be legally able to run for any office.

        • Dr. Rrrrrobotnik

          Strictly speaking, even convicted felons can run for president. There’s been a ton of lower-tier legislators that were elected in a jail cell.

          • Old town Urbandale

            And Trump won’t be running from a prison cell, he’ll be running in exile in whatever country thinks it would be hilarious to offer the Trumps sanctuary as “politically persecuted.”

          • Dr. Rrrrrobotnik

            Oh god, Russia would jizz itself to death if Trump led a government-in-exile from Moscow.

          • starfanglednut

            Mayor of Providence Buddy Cianci, iirc, was reflected after serving a jail term for burning some guy he didn’t like with a lit cigarette. Might have even mounted is campaign from the clink (too lazy to google).

          • MynameisBlarney

            That is fucking stupid.
            If you can’t vote as a convicted felon, how in the actual fuck can you run for fucking office?
            GAH!

      • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

        He’ll be long gone. He has been laundering money for fucking ever. Mueller (as Gandalf) will not let this pass.

        • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista
          • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

            I’m trying to get gif-fy but all I get are links instead of the vid. Damn. Ima gonna keep trying.

          • Dr. Rrrrrobotnik

            Giphy doesn’t play nice with this non-commenting system, I find.

        • Dr. Rrrrrobotnik

          He could run for president from his jail cell if he wanted, and I think we all know by now there’s a huge portion of the populace that will never, ever, believe he’s guilty.

          And this is the guy who ran for office solely because Obama made fun of him to his face. Do people really think he’ll allow himself to be referred to as a failed 1-term president?

    • SeeTrain65

      And Randy thinks he’s got a shot?

      BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

    • Jim QuinnX

      Hard to run a campaign from jail. But he has a pretty loyal base, so . . . .

  • Justin Zimmerman

    What a great weekend! Halloween party Friday night, saw Boris perform at Union Transfer in Philly Saturday, and fight club began this morning. And I just violated the first two rules of fight club…

    • Proud Liberal

      They’re working on it. Be out by 1:30 p.m.

    • NastyBossetti

      Union Transfer is one of my favorite venues. It’s not too big, has good sightlines from almost everywhere, and you don’t have to wait too long for a drink even when it’s sold out.

      • Justin Zimmerman

        That was my first time there, been to TLA, The Troc and Electric Factory quite a bit every time I come to Philly for a concert.

  • Resistance Ftr PuckStopsHere

    It’s almost lunch time here in the Eastern Time Zone. Has Fox started in on their “bitch (Hillz) set me up” line of defense for the president*?

    • jesterpunk

      They are covering important things like if the lettuce and cheese is in the right spot on the burger emoji.

      • Resistance Ftr PuckStopsHere

        Well, is it? AMERICA DEMANDS ANSWERES 1111!!!

  • Dept. of Space Tacos
  • OrG

    Would this be a good time to remind everyone that we haven’t had a legitimate republican president since Dwight Eisenhower?

    • WiscoJoe

      And according to the modern Republican party, Eisenhower was actually a secret liberal commie Roosevelt globalist.

      • Khavrinen

        Don’t forget, only Presidenting because he was paid by Soros.

      • Rags

        He was recruited by both parties at the time.

    • Lance Thrustwell

      Sheeit, I’d take Bush Sr. back right about now.

    • eggs ackly-wright

      Eisenhower? Sounds Jewish.

  • Bub, the cynical zombie

    I love the word “flipped.” It’s a nice woody sort of a word. Like caribou, and prodding. Flipped…flipped. Gorn. Trump is gorn.

    https://twitter.com/renato_mariotti/status/925011265751220225

    • Lance Thrustwell

      George Flopadopalicious.

    • Crank Tango

      Flip or Flop!

    • Carole

      He wishes he could be an Upper Class Twit. But he can only be a Nouveau Riche Twit.

    • Kryptonian Canis

      Imagine the scene in the West Wing today as it gradually sinks in just how long Papadopoulos has been busy squealing.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      “Trump” is too tinny.

      • Rags

        psych – sorry

    • SeeTrain65

      Maybe it’ll stop this Orange Caribou from nibbling at the treasury.

    • Rags

      But “Trump” is such a tinny word.

      https://youtu.be/-gwXJsWHupg

      • eggs ackly-wright

        Poor Mrs. Vermin-Jones.

        • SeeTrain65

          “What a blow for her.”

    • BearDeLaOursistance

      INNNNNTERCOURSE.

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    Yo, Paulie….

    • steppy

      Won’t see him no more…

  • Put On Your War Paint!

    No, This Isn’t Normal: Nobody Who Worked For President Obama Was Indicted

    http://www.politicususa.com/2017/10/30/no-normal-worked-obama-indicted.html

    • ManchuCandidate

      But according to Faux it was most corrupt administration since forever. Unlike the past GOPer ones.

      • shivaskeeper

        Well, not since forever. Since Clinton’s at least. And them you would probably have to go back to Carter. I am seeing a trend in who is corrupt and who just loves America so much. Can you spot it too?

  • OrdinaryJoe

    Apparently they caught Manafort rising to stand when the national anthem started playing.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZSL8mSraiZ4

    • John Thorstensen

      Makes me want to push the Nazis out of Stalingrad.

      • OrdinaryJoe

        Or even Washington DC.

        • John Thorstensen

          Yes!

      • Msgr_MΩment

        Is that in Tennessee?

    • Covfefe

      Is treason if I say I really like Russian national anthem?

      • Put On Your War Paint!

        No, it’s a pretty awesome song.

    • Put On Your War Paint!

      “Let them sing, Vasilli. Let them sing.”

      • OrdinaryJoe

        Red October. LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL

        • Put On Your War Paint!

          “And we will lishten to their ‘Rock And Roll’ while we conduct mishile drilsh.”

    • Jennaratrix

      Needs moar bombast.

  • IdRatherBeDancing

    Ol’ Lop Eyes is gonna have a day in her WH briefing — shots everytime she says “Hillary Clinton” — or are you pussies afraid of a little alchohol poisening?

    • Bub, the cynical zombie

      She’ll be sobbing into her swill trough after the briefing.

    • Khavrinen

      Not sure 300 gallons counts as “a little”.

    • Mary Theresa

      Than consider me blacked out drunk.

  • Msgr_MΩment

    I’ll take credit for this. Yesterday I wore my Steelers’ Bumblebee uniform with “Impeach 45” on it.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      Thank you for your (humiliating) service.

  • Mr. Blobfish

    “Both Trump and Manafort denied having anything to do with the last-minute change to the party platform. But the financial benefits Manafort received from pro-Russia politicians in Ukraine, as detailed in the charges against him, intensifies the skepticism that has long surrounded his denial”.

  • beingreleased

    https://twitter.com/emptywheel/status/925018975079206913

    Sessions is apparently going to go with “You can’t arrest me if I don’t remember what I did.”

    Coincidentally, Kevin Spacey is going with the same tactic.

    • WiscoJoe

      Sessions, “I choose now to live as a Russian man.”

    • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

      Tthe Kevin Spacey thing and Jeff Sessions do not have an equivalency.

      And, frankly, I don’t want hear about every incidence of questionable or actual bad behavior from famous people from 30 years ago. These guys with long patterns of rapey behavior is a very different kettle of fish.

    • Major_Major_Major

      Does the Hollow Tree have an extradition treaty with the US? Is there gonna be a run on Fudge Stripes due to the forthcoming shortage? Important questions needing answers.

  • Old town Urbandale

    I haven’t read downthread yet so undoubtedly others have also said it, but if not, “…Also, there is NO COLLUSION!” sounds an awfully lot like, “I am not a crook!”

    • shivaskeeper

      My read on him, is that he personally didn’t collude. Seriously. If you were going to conspire to do anything criminal would you let him in on the actual plan? Would you trust him to keep his mouth shut about it? As impulsive as he is?

      Others around him likely colluded with Russia, with big money donors, with all sorts of unsavory people, but not him directly. He’ll end up going down for financial crimes in the end,

      • Maclare’s Castle o’ Crap 🏰

        this!

      • Jennaratrix

        Maybe. But I see him as too stupid to stay out of it; he’d barge his way into all meetings, make everyone tell him everything. He thought he’d get away with it; he’s not smart enough to build in plausible deniability, and it’s starting to look like his buddies aren’t, either.

        • shivaskeeper

          If I was one of the ones doing it, I wouldn;t tell him shit about it. He is not capable of keeping his mouth shut. I would give it 30 days and he would be bragging that he colluded better than Hillary since he won.

          I’m just saying don;t be surprised if he is not impeached for colluding, but it is for the finances.

          • Jennaratrix

            Oh, I agree, and I won’t be. As long as he goes down, I don’t fucking care how they get him.

      • tomamitai

        He must be the stupidest, most egotistical numb-nut in the world if he doesn’t know that that Palm Beach real estate deal with the Russian billionaire was a payoff and/or a money laundering scheme.

        • shivaskeeper

          The money laundering is deliberate. He knows its a crime but does it anyway. The personal collusion isn’t, I think.

  • Skwerl the Nazi Puncher

    https://www.infowars.com/mueller-ignores-evidence-russia-laundered-money-to-hillary/

    And so it begins:
    MUELLER IGNORES EVIDENCE RUSSIA LAUNDERED MONEY TO HILLARY
    One-sided investigation won’t investigate Hillary & Podesta ties to Russian billionaire

    • ManchuCandidate

      So Alex Jones is a Russian mole rat Soviet deep state plant? Why does Alex Jones love Russia so much? Why does he make his happy ending wife wear a Putin mask when they have sex?

      These are all legitimate questions that Alex Jones needs to explain.

    • Daniel

      What of the frogs’ sexuality, though? What of it?

      • Oblios_Cap

        Kevin Spacey frogs?

    • OrG

      Predictable. Total bullshit also too.

    • SeeTrain65

      ALEX JONES IGNORES EVIDENCE AND FACTS!

      That’s not news. That’s just what happens every day.

      • Pisto75666

        I hope he’s got enough barbeque sauce. Gonna be a LONG day.

    • Jennaratrix

      Here’s the thing, though; if Mueller’s investigation turns up any Democrats, they’re going down, too. And I, and you, and any decent American, supports that. Because treason is treason, and it’s not okay if it’s someone you like or agree with. I won’t be happy about it, but I’m not fucking happy about ANYONE committing treason. THAT’S what these idiot right-wingers don’t understand, and it’s the real reason I’m so scared about how this all plays out; not because Trump is a dumb treasoner, but because so many people seem okay with that as long as “their” side “wins.”

      • man you were prescient.

        speaking from 10 podesta hours ago

  • Maclare’s Castle o’ Crap 🏰
    • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

      This is the first day in the past year I think I can get through without the day drinking!

  • WIDTAP

    “maybe Trump can get away with it for a minute, because none of these indictments specifically relate to the Trump campaign.”

    Wrong rock. The rock to look under is Mueller’s other announcement, George Papadopoulos’s guilty plea. This is the card falling out of the house of cards and lies where Trump’s campaign had been taking meetings and lying to the FBI.

    What we have with Manafort and Gates is a good ol’ Al Capone – got him on a solid tax evasion and money laundering cop that is easy to prove with the paper, and doesn’t require Mueller to prove state of mind.

    • Rags

      Papapadapalapalouses’ indictment permanently fucks up that framing effort.

  • TheGrandWazoo2

    New Ben and Jerry’s flavor: Indict-Mint Chocolate Chip.

    • data_ninja

      That’s as good as badkitty’s “sovereign cinnamon” for GOP ice cream flavors we came up with last year.

  • Claire

    I can’t decide which is a bigger deal, Manafort or Papadopoulos. It’s like Mueller walked up and slapped Trump in the face with a white glove, and then went “Haha, oh yeah,” and kicked him in the balls while he was blustering.

  • Ok. I have to go have a shower and go to work. Stupid employment

    • Dept. of Space Tacos

      happy arrestivus day! We’ll see you alter.

    • natoslug

      I planned ahead. I have Mondays off until January. Here’s hoping we can stick to a Mondays-only indictment schedule.

  • Pierre_de_Fermat

    Gee, I think Paulie’s dance card is filled in for the next few years …

    Bloomberg’s WH correspondent …

    If Manafort convicted of money laundering charge, Mueller seeks forfeiture of his properties in Manhattan, Brooklyn, Arlington, Water Mill.

    //twitter.com/JenniferJJacobs/status/924993026614755328

    • Dept. of Space Tacos

      couch surfing isn’t all that bad.

      • OrG

        They have couches in prison?

        • Dept. of Space Tacos

          no, this is after he gets out and they confiscated everything he owns.

          • MynameisBlarney

            He won’t make it out of prison.
            Putin will have someone take him out.

    • Joe Beese

      Paul Manafort is 68 years old. Conviction on these charges amounts to a life sentence.

      Something that may factor into his mental calculus.

      • Pierre_de_Fermat

        Yeah …

    • Claire

      Damn, he’s going for the property forfeiture and everything. Everyone in Eric Schneiderman’s office must be wearing party hats and chugging champagne right now; he wants Trump’s properties to stuff and mount in his lobby.

      • Rags

        Is RICO still on the table?

        • Claire

          I think pretty much everything Schneidermann could get Trump for at the state level is still on the table.

  • ltmcdies
    • Beautiful Soup

      I imagine she’s flying without a plane today.

    • Pierre_de_Fermat

      hahahahahahahahaha.
      (we still have a thoroughgoing incompetent as President, and a bunch of thieves, traitors, nazis, and such running things, but that did do me good)

      • ltmcdies

        yeh…it’s bittersweet…..IMHO …she is the legitimate President of the United State

        • nightmoth

          Absolutely. The election was hacked by Commies to affect the electoral college balance, and she still won more popular votes. I may just start calling her “Madam President” to fuck with the right wing nut jobs.

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      Really? I can’t imagine seeing the actual proof that you lost an election to someone too incompetent to do background checks on employees feels all that great.

      • ltmcdies

        Oh come on….all those Russian connections were a feature for Trump, not a glitch.

        I know it’s fun to speculate that if somebody else had been the nominee, they would have won…but Russia was fucking into the American election to damage the United States. It wouldn’t have mattered who the Dem nom was….not when the aim is damage.

      • Jennaratrix

        Yeah, but seeing the guy who is too incompetent to do background checks on employees go down for stealing the election through Russian interference will probably feel pretty damn good.

  • MynameisBlarney

    In other “Conservative Fucktard Leeching Off The Govt. That Doesn’t Want To Pay Taxes” News.

    Cliven Bundy on trial today.
    https://www.reuters.com/article/us-nevada-militia/nevada-rancher-cliven-bundy-goes-on-trial-for-leading-2014-armed-standoff-idUSKBN1CZ0Y7

    • natoslug

      Here’s hoping this one goes well. The last Bundy Bunch trial sucked.

    • TundraGrifter

      This could be the end of Welfare Rancher Bundy’s Occupy Nevada Movement.

    • nightmoth

      As a taxpaying citizen, I want MY grazing fees off MY public land, and I want it now! I could use it to pay my own fucking private land taxes.

      • Carole

        I’m still waiting on that 40 Acres and a Mule. Oh yeah, and my check from George Soros.

        • Jennaratrix

          Let me know when you get that check, maybe it will mean mine’s in the mail.

  • Jennaratrix

    Finally some GOOD MOTHERFUCKING NEWS. Hope you all bought stock in Orville Redenbacher’s.

  • MrTusks
  • therblig
    • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

      Lol. Is this a thing?

      “The ruth, the whole ruth and nothing but the ruth.”

      • jowgajen

        This is probably a deputizing ceremony for when dog graduates from police dog school.

      • data_ninja

        (Rest of joke goes here)

        The dog looks up and says “was it Dimaggio?”

    • alpacapunchbowl

      Good dog!

  • Beautiful Soup

    Do we know anything about the “campaign supervisor” mentioned in relation to Papadopoulos?

    • WiscoJoe

      My guess is it’s Kushner or Don Jr. They seem stupid/inexperienced enough to be that obvious about it.

      • Beautiful Soup

        Sounds likely!

    • Joe Beese

      The campaign supervisor was a minor figure in the campaign.

    • ariel_gee_398

      That was Manafort.

    • Darrell Imaginarian

      I don’t think that’s confirmed. Probably Manafort.

      • Beautiful Soup

        Darn. I was hoping for a Junior or a Jared. But it’s still a good day.

        • Darrell Imaginarian

          Junior wasn’t supervising anybody. Flynn maybe.

        • Darrell Imaginarian

          Oooo I don’t think it is Manafort. Panapoulos was already meeting with shady Russians on March 14th, but Manafort didn’t join the Trump campaign til March 29th. It’s somebody else.

        • AmazingProfessionalCrastinator

          Sessions would have been fun, too.

    • NastyBossetti
  • TJ Barke

    Have we settled on Arrestivus or Indictmas?

    • WiscoJoe

      Let’s be inclusive and just say “Happy Holidays.”

      • Msgr_MΩment

        Commie lib!

        • OrdinaryJoe

          Cчастливого Рождества would probably work in this case.

    • Dept. of Space Tacos

      Tough choice…why not both?

    • William
      • TheFamilyThalamusPersists

        I remember this one. Yet I had forgotten how truly atrocious 70s fashion ( and 80s) was.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      Waltrumpisnacht.

      • Carole

        Gah! I don’t want to wait until April 30.

    • bbayliss

      #Muellermas?

    • NastyBossetti

      This is only Muellerween. It will be shortly followed by Muellersgiving and then Muellermas.

    • IdRatherBeDancing

      yes

    • BearDeLaOursistance

      It all just leads up to eight crazy nights of Gone-ukkah.

    • Meccalopolis

      why not both?

  • ariel_gee_398

    Damn. Mueller kept the arrest under wraps and Papadopolous wore a wire? https://twitter.com/ddale8/status/925029460142944258

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      Omar comin’.

    • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

      Damn, if that’s true the queue for plea bargains better start forming.

    • Kryptonian Canis

      The more we hear about this, the more woah-if-true it becomes.

    • ManchuCandidate

      Mueller is a stone cold motherfucker.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        Right?

      • Persistent Tennessee Rain

        He’s a badass and I’m finding myself crushing on him a little bit.

      • WIDTAP

        “Mueller. Bob Mueller. He’s one bad muther….”
        Shut your mouth
        “But Imma talkin’ ’bout Mueller”
        I can dig it!

      • IdRatherBeDancing

        Definitely a dude you want in the foxhole with you.

      • Claire

        That man is not playing. TrumpCo is screwed.

      • CT14

        Thank god someone actually cares about the country!

    • ltmcdies

      woah…if true.

      • bbayliss

        Who ya gonna believe?

    • ariel_gee_398

      Mueller requested to keep his arrest secret so he could cooperate with the investigation. That’s why we’re only hearing about it today. Mueller has a lot of this laid out already, and he’s releasing info when it’s useful to him. This is….masterful.
      https://twitter.com/bradheath/status/925025511516114944

      • Kryptonian Canis

        Lordy, there are tapes, aren’t there? If the Shitgibbon so much as tries to pardon his way out of this or run a Saturday night massacre, the tapes are going to drop!

        • Pisto75666

          Now we know why Trump & Co. tried so hard to get rid of Mueller. These people are well and truly fucked, and they know it!

      • CT14

        Now we know why Andrew Weissmann joined the team in June!

    • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

      Oh, sweet, jeesus, let it be so.

    • tehbaddr

      Does this mean “they found the leak”?

    • Jennaratrix

      I am beyond impressed with Mueller; he’s not grandstanding, and he’s been running this investigation like a pretty damn tight ship. The fact that NOTHING has leaked should make Trump & Co. very, very nervous. Especially since Trump & Co. leak like a Russian pee hooker.

  • Carole
  • Martini Ambassador 🍸
    • ManchuCandidate

      4 stages too many.

    • TheFamilyThalamusPersists

      2. Anger- “It’s a witch hunt!”
      3. Bargaining… “?” But this ought to be fun!

      • Pisto75666

        4. “But HILLARY!
        5. “But OBAMA!”

  • Dept. of Space Tacos
  • Mr. Blobfish

    Former Donald Trump campaign manager Corey Lewandowski blamed the FBI on Monday for not warning the Trump campaign about one-time campaign chairman Paul Manafort.

    God forbid the Trump campaign do any background checks themselves.

    • Pierre_de_Fermat

      Yeah, cripes do they have to do everything?

    • Rags

      Extreme vetting FTW!

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Fuck, the FBI didn’t even warn them about Trump!

    • bbayliss

      Comey was too busy covering his ass.

    • Oblios_Cap

      Lewandowski wouldn’t have been able to get a job if the Trump campaign had done background checks.

      • Roadstergal

        Trump wouldn’t have been able to get a job if the Trump campaign had done background checks.

    • Persistent Tennessee Rain

      We know that’s a bunch of shit, because Obama specifically warned Trump about Flynn, but he hired the guy anyway. So, it’s not like they are known from taking advice from others.

      • cmd resistor

        Didn’t they then blame some government agency (FBI?) for not vetting Flynn? I could be wrong.

      • bbayliss

        It was a “joke.”

      • CT14

        No that was 13 dimension chess. See, Donald is undoing everything Obama did, so by firing Flynn, Obama FORCED Donald to hire him!

        Thanks, Obama!

    • zeddicuskotor

      I was wondering where that talking point was coming from.

    • miss_grundy

      Sounds like that goofy commercial of the guy who wants his neighbor to check out contractors, get estimates and line up somebody to his his house. Did anybody do any work at the Trump Organization????

  • It appears some folks will suck a syphilitic dick.

    • miss_grundy

      Hannity and Co. on Faux News????

  • Old Man Yells at Cloud

    I have to admit, when I printed out my Indictment Bingo card on Saturday, I had no idea who Papadopoulos is, but now I have 3 squares in a row. WhooHoo!

    • Timothy Watson

      Obviously the Deep State was responsible for making that bingo card.

  • (((Alt-Sedagive)))

    HELL YESSSS: THE CLINTON ADMINUSTRATON IS FINALLY GOING DWN!!11!!1!!

  • starfanglednut

    I’ve been pretty damn suicidal for some time, but watching trump get perp walked across the White House lawn might just be a reason to live.

    • Maggielle

      You gotta stick around. It’s all fantastical and historical and even we depressed folks might have fun or some kind of weird satisfaction, or just live-saving curiosity.

    • bbayliss

      Might as well hang around and see how this plays out.

      • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

        MUST ABSOLUTELY hang around and see how this plays out.

        That is an order from a bossy old lady with a sad past who now lives a very happy life. If I can do it. you can to!

    • TheFamilyThalamusPersists

      Hang in there. Come here and talk and get support. We all want you here!

      • starfanglednut

        Thanks! That’s very sweet of you. It’s been hell.

        • TheFamilyThalamusPersists

          Don’t go anywhere!

        • miss_grundy

          This place has kept me on an even keel when I have had to hear poopyheads speak adoringly of Tangerini. We’ll stand by you.

        • bbayliss

          You are not alone.
          Some of us have been through what you’re going through and have discovered that it does actually get better.

        • hang in there darling. i don’t suffer from depression (merely too much booze) but every day since november has been an assault. my job and my health insurance have been political playthings for 10 months. a night doesn’t pass that i don’t wake up freaking out. i hate where i am and where we are…but somehow we’re still fighting.

          • starfanglednut

            I’m so sorry for everything you’re going through.

    • Carole

      Upfist that you’re seeing some hope in all this.

    • Jennaratrix

      You’re not alone, I’ve heard this from a few friends lately. I have no words of wisdom, except to say don’t give up; Wonkette has been my savior for at least the last year, and I bet we can (help to) be yours, too.

      • starfanglednut

        I was already in a suicidal depression (bipolar), and then the election happened. Worst nightmare of my life.

        • Jennaratrix

          I’m sorry. I’m relatively stable and the election threw me for a bad loop, it must have been hell.

        • TheFamilyThalamusPersists

          It threw all of us for a loop. Depressed the hell out of me for a couple months, had to be numb just to get through the days. Now, though, some sunlight is breaking through the proverbial clouds. Praise Mueller!!! Better days are coming, friend!

    • miss_grundy

      Especially if the FBI agent lets him accidentally on purpose hit his head while getting into the back seat of the car.

  • Bub, the cynical zombie
  • ahughes798

    In the shoe drop heirarchy….Manafort and Gates are flip-flops. Then we go to sandals, then shoes, then boots.

    • WIDTAP

      I am thinking Manafort and Gates leads to New York, outside Mueller’s area, to property transactions involving the Trump family to hide those dirty rubles. Nice times about that track would be that Trump can’t pardon State offenses.

      George Papadopoulos is the track I want to see. That’s the Lying, Russian Meetings, Cover-up, Obstruction of Justice track. That’s the shit that could get you impeached.

      • miss_grundy

        Perhaps we will find out about that server in the Trump Tower basement that was sending and receiving information from Russia….

  • starfanglednut

    No twitter in prison, motherfucker!

  • Joe Beese
    • Beautiful Soup

      Mooch plays both him and himself.

      • Put On Your War Paint!

        He’ll drop trou and about face to portray Papa Dop.

        • Beautiful Soup

          Saves on makeup, good thinking!

    • Bill D. Burger

      Clearacil guy?

      https://d6u22qyv3ngwz.cloudfront.net/ad/7I_h/clearasil-ultra-airplane-fast-large-6.jpg

      Looks like stress and exhaustion have caused him a serious breakout lately.

    • MynameisBlarney

      Billy Zane.

    • WIDTAP

      Hollywood produced? Then it’s Jason Statham in his villain mode.

    • Maggielle

      Pajama Boy?

    • needs more douche.

  • Dept. of Space Tacos

    I’m stretching on the theme here, but I”m in a dancey mood!

    To Trump and Co., I have one question:
    https://youtu.be/5rAOyh7YmEc?t=14

    • Pisto75666

      Love the song but damn the video creeps me out!

      • Dept. of Space Tacos

        IKR? I debated using hte official video.

        • Pisto75666

          Ehh, there’s always an option not to watch. Besides, with the horrors we’ve seen lately,a few monkeys with creepy faces isn’t that big a deal.

  • bbayliss

    Here is Joy Reid debunking Uranium One, please get this information to everyone you know:
    http://www.msnbc.com/am-joy/watch/uranium-one-joy-reid-debunks-fake-news-targeting-clinton-1084014147813

    • Jennaratrix

      That. Was. AMAZING. And that poor schlump she was “interviewing” knew she was pwned.

    • Sean Jungian

      I so loved this when I saw it. Masterful take-down.

    • Meccalopolis

      she smacked the white off that bitch!

  • tehbaddr

    I’ve had the best people for my campaign, and my White-house Staff are going to be incredible! Just you wait folks, it’s going to be great!

    -DJT

  • AlexDeGruven

    So how long ago was Popadop originally arrested? And if he’s been wearing a wire/informing since then, who has he met with? And can I get some popcorn? And Bourbon? And a hyperventilation bag?

    • Persistent Tennessee Rain

      I believe it was October 1

      • CT14

        No, he was arrested 3 months ago. He pled on Oct 5.

        • Persistent Tennessee Rain

          I stand corrected. Thanks.

  • alpacapunchbowl

    Heeheeeeee! My initial thought was that it would be Manafort.
    Everything we the public already knew indicated that they have a strong case against him, plus he’s a central figure who’s tied to allllll sorts of motherfuckers in the administration.
    I compared this to Jenga last night- with these indictments, the entire tower is left teetering on one brick at the foundation and is wobbly as hell. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/2ebd03d168faf3723fe68cc9fb81adf677c132189d3f3849dfe1f8a810d471c8.gif https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/077e58f265cb0e6725eb5d3ed635f489cc8405d9c390c09e8e2de8090a4164f4.gif

    • this is one of my fav brad pitt roles ever.

      • alpacapunchbowl

        It’s not one of my favorite Coen Brothers films, but Pitt was GREAT in this.

        • yup. TBH i don’t much love the coen brothers.

          • alpacapunchbowl

            I’m a HUGE fan.
            I actually actively dislike a handful of Coen Brothers films, but when they’re on, they are the. fucking. best.

          • i know! i’m in the biz and i don’t much like them. that being said, what you said: when they’re on, they rock.

  • Put On Your War Paint!

    So we can take the world back from the heart-attacked
    One maniac at a time we will take it back

  • laughingnome
  • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

    Mueller and the feds pinched Papadoulous three months ago. He pled out three weeks ago. And no one knew he had flipped until this morning.
    Mueller’s shop is airtight. That is some freakin’ office discipline there.

    • zeddicuskotor

      Yeah, seriously. Unlike the bucket with no bottom that is the white house.

      • Roadstergal

        How mad is Drumpf that Mueller doesn’t leak a single iota unless he wants it out there? It’s the kind of cool professionalism that Drumpf desires – but never was willing to put in the work to develop.

    • Dept. of Space Tacos

      what do y’all think about the “leak” on Friday of today? Someone from the grand jury? The courthouse? DOJ?

      Or careful maneuver by Mueller and Co. to get the admin to sweat (and possibly make a mistake?)

      • Put On Your War Paint!

        Manafort’s Counsel?

        • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

          Hell, could be Nunes – the guy doesn’t grasp the concept of “recused”, so leaking would be right in line.

          • Put On Your War Paint!

            Oh shit, I had forgotten that Asshole. Yeah.

          • sarafina

            But who would tell Nunes? Mueller and his people seem to be too smart for that.

        • Dept. of Space Tacos

          that seems to be a popular theory.

      • jesterpunk

        Mueller most likely.

      • Arolpin

        I think it’s likely that the leak came from defense attorneys..

      • ariel_gee_398

        Well, Manafort clearly knew, because his surrender this morning was negotiated. My guess is someone on the defense side leaked it to get the speculation out there and lessen the shock of it.

      • weejee
        • Meccalopolis

          what are you doing in there? you’re too big to be in the phone!

      • bbayliss

        Two thoughts; 1. We know nothing Mueller does not want us to know, and 2. I believe both the house and senate intelligence committees were informed: see point one.

        • Dept. of Space Tacos

          yeah, I find it coming from Mueller extremely unlikely, unless, again, it was strategic (which you also point out.)

    • Jennaratrix

      Restores some of my faith, it does.

    • MynameisBlarney

      I bet there are scripts being written right fuckin’ now for a slew of movies about this shit.

      • Put On Your War Paint!

        “All The President’s Dunderheads”

        “The Mooch is Loose”

        “Kelly, You are An Asshole!”

        • MynameisBlarney

          It’s gonna be slapstick humor.

          • Put On Your War Paint!

            xD

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    “See what happens? Now don’t fuck with me, you sniveling little pissant.”

    –Mueller, to Dimwit Jr.

    • ariel_gee_398

      I’m still sitting here just appreciating what Mueller pulled off this morning. I’m not one to heap praise on prosecutors, but fuck me this was beautiful. He played the administration so perfectly.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        Right? It’s like that Clint Watts dude…I never thought I’d be cheering for the buttoned-down, humorless, square-jawed FBI avenger.

        • ariel_gee_398

          It’s not just that, though. Mueller saw they were trying to undercut the credibility of his investigation and found a way to use that to prove the credibility while poking them in the eye. I really just… https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/5493bc0f44a870b3f09df52f7fd686c4dbed2ae60d840d4ae713222ed6fe1ae2.jpg

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            Though Mueller holds his cards very close to his chest and has exercised incredible discipline regarding leaks, I have NO doubt he released word of the pending indictment on Friday. All this conspiracy shit and pushback about firing him all week, he’s like, I’ma make these motherfuckers SWEAT over the weekend. I hope they keep underestimating him.

        • Meccalopolis

          he’s been shitting on rank and file feebs all this time. Mueller’s got the git back

      • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

        And according to a Wonker with a very lawyerly friend (buried deep in this thread) the indictments were beautifully crafted. Sighs.

  • Covfefe

    We gotta get tax cuts on Donald’s Desk before is forced out.

  • William
  • weejee
    • bbayliss

      40 years ago when I discovered Son House, I never thought he’d be on a T-shirt.
      Times change.

  • OrG

    Sick of winning?
    Not anymore!

  • Mr. Blobfish

    This is all to distract us from the real story: Bill Clinton and Harvey Wienstien sexually harassed all the women while Hillary smuggled uranium to Russia in her pantsuit pockets so ISIS could funnel funds into the Clinton Foundation to kidnap Haitian orphans while gay Obama snorted coke off of Michelle’s turgid love muscle.

  • Fitzgerald Chesterfield

    I barely know a fort!

  • Bub, the cynical zombie
    • TJ Barke

      It’s an Indictmas miracle!

      • Pisto75666

        My God….these people don’t even know how to collude right. An email trail? Jesus Christ.

  • Pisto75666

    Meaning behind Papadopoulos’ arrest. The thread IS pretty long. (I didn’t know any of this so it’s interesting reading) https://twitter.com/renato_mariotti/status/925011265751220225

  • Pierre_de_Fermat

    Two Tweets from Rick Wilson:

    1.

    Yeah. This is where the conspiracy net widens. A LOT. pic.twitter.com/yw6e2DyHYe— Rick Wilson (@TheRickWilson) October 30, 2017

    2.

    This is DAY ONE and there's HARD, DIRECT, *ADMITTED* collusion.BYE, Felicia.— Rick Wilson (@TheRickWilson) October 30, 2017

    Lunch for DT is going to be so exciting.

    • Joe Beese

      No one else gets any scoops.

      • Roadstergal

        Au contraire, Mueller is getting ALL of the scoops!

    • IdRatherBeDancing

      God I love Rick Wilson. LOL

      • bbayliss

        You may want to reconsider, this enemy of my enemy shit only goes so far.

        • IdRatherBeDancing

          Nope — There are some principled conservatives who I like — he is one of them — liked him before Never Trump

      • Pierre_de_Fermat

        Enjoy reading him. When this cr@p is over, can go back to disagreements. But it is probably good that we recognize that we can agree on stuff too.

  • Joe Beese

    Josh Marshall:

    Papadopolous was arrested in July and has apparently been cooperating since. He pled guilty I see no purely legal reason why the news of his arrest in July and plea in early October had to be revealed today, other than keeping the news from Manafort. One other potential reason is that one of the ‘campaign officials’ referenced in the Papadopolous plea appears to be Manafort. It sends two clear messages. First, we’re not at all done with collusion and we’re making progress. Second, we arrested Papadopolous in July and he pled out in October and no one knew. So don’t think you have any idea what we have.

    http://talkingpointsmemo.com/edblog/thoughts-on-the-papadopolous-plea

    • dshwa

      Yeah. Manafort may actually be the distraction from Papadopolous, showing Mueller can outplay Trump at that game too.

    • bbayliss

      Josh Marshall has been on this since the beginning and deserves a medal

    • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

      And, as mentioned below, that gave them time to put a wire on Poppy. Oh, please, please, please, there is nuthin’ like tape.

    • Rotisserie Teal

      I just sent that very paragraph to some friends (who I think are making popcorn for breakfast on the West Coast) The “So don’t think you have any idea what we have” line is quite uplifting. Get ’em all Bobby. Get ’em all.

    • CT14

      Arrested in July…and then wore a wire?

  • FlownΩver

    “Madison Gesiotto” is the name of my new spaghetti western soundtrack cover band.

  • Dept. of Space Tacos

    awww, new story up. We were having so much fun!

    • OutOfOrbit

      me stay OnT

    • rosenbomb

      Wow, well over 1000 comments for a Monday morning story!

      • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

        Not just any old Monday, though. It’s Arrestivus, Indictmas and Meullermas all rolled into one!

        • rosenbomb

          Praise be!

        • Ill-Advised

          The fronting singers for my new band, the Federal Grift. We hope to open for the Capitol Steps in a couple of months. We hear they’ll need some help.

    • alpacapunchbowl

      The fun is only just begun!
      (Do I sound like I’m giddy? Cause I’m giddy as fuck)

      • Dept. of Space Tacos

        me too! (And caffeinated AF).

        • alpacapunchbowl

          I didn’t really need the big mug I drank this morning, ha.

  • MynameisBlarney
    • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

      One of the best gifs.

    • Three Finger Salute

      I love him. I really do.

  • Bub, the cynical zombie
    • nightmoth

      Fingers crossed!

    • Bill D. Burger
      • alpacapunchbowl

        Mommy never loved you, Donnie.

        • BearDeLaOursistance

          If Mother did love him, Pence would be pissed.

          • Rocket Pony Ron

            He’d be pissed, but he still wouldn’t say ‘no.’

        • Meccalopolis

          everybody loved Fred, donny was always a skidmark

    • TJ Barke

      Please FSM, let it be true.

      • Teto85

        Ra’men

    • Pisto75666

      Even the Trumpkins are quiet. It’s still early, but even still.

    • Joe Beese

      Nonsense. 4K video of Trump handing a suitcase labeled “Nuclear Launch Codes” to Putin in exchange for a large burlap sack with gold coins spilling out of it, while receiving a blow job from Sean Hannity, is not enough to end Trump’s presidency.

      The only thing that’s enough to end Trump’s presidency is 19 Republican Senators willing to convict him – which is 19 more than we have at present.

      • TheFamilyThalamusPersists

        ( please stop raining on my parade :*{ )

      • Claire

        More than we had the last time we checked. Once this really gets going, there might be a surprising number of senators with a vested interest in stopping that snowball before it avalanches them right into the federal pen.

      • An Outhouse for the résistance

        The GOP brand has just become toxic. They can play stupid and let it get worse or do something about it.

      • TimResistit

        Unless enough of them see devastation in the making in the 2018 midterms. They may want to take their chances with Pence, instead.

    • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef
    • Kryptonian Canis

      Yep, we all expected Manafort, but Papadopoulos was like the Spanish Inquisition.

  • Bill D. Burger
  • Cogswell – Overlord of Barsoom
  • Notreelyhelping
  • Bill D. Burger

    Just so hard to get the Republicans on the record today defending TrumpCo and Manafort? Puzzling.

    https://ukcontentwriter.files.wordpress.com/2016/08/funny-elephant-animated-gif.gif?w=676

    • Rags

      This is why elephants clip their toenails (ancient Elephant Joke)……and, while we’re at it. Why do elephants wear tennies? because ninies are too small and elevenies are too big.

      • Three Finger Salute

        (scene: a woman’s Supermax prison somewhere in Middle America)

        Ivanka: “Living next to you is like sleeping with an elephant…”

        Sarah: “Shut up, Ivanka. Justin doesn’t like you, don’t you get it?!?”

  • TheFamilyThalamusPersists

    I am sooooo looking forward to when HeWentToJared, Uday and Qsay are pinched. I’ll be watching that footage over and over. Will they roll on daddy? Will Vanky? I’d say yes only if tRump is snatched simultaneously, because money> morals; they want to collect from his will.
    Anyway, watching them all squirm will be downright delicious.

    • TJ Barke

      Are you allowed to inherit illegally obtained money?

      • TheFamilyThalamusPersists

        Honestly? No idea, but I’d imagine some isn’t tied to recent laundering that they’d like to get their grubby little fists on.

        • miss_grundy

          That money is probably tied to The Mob….

          • CT14

            The Russian mob

          • miss_grundy

            And to the good old Cosa Nostra. There have always been whispers in New York that he had dealings with “The Mob”.

      • the_steamer

        If not the nation would go broke

      • Rocket Pony Ron

        If the Feds can get it declared to be the fruits of an illegal enterprise, there won’t be anything TO inherit except debts owed to a bunch of pissed-off Russkies.

      • CT14

        I don’t think Donald has much actual money. He’s overleveraged to Vladimir.

    • Dept. of Space Tacos

      I want to see them do that thing they do on Law & Order (all of them, Katie), where they walk into a meeting at someone’s office and arrest the suspect(s), in front of clients and staff and business partners and stuff (in the Oval Office?!?)

      If we’re lucky, it’ll be while cameras are rolling, and they’ll all be outraged about how police are harrassing them and “do you know who I am” and I’ll have pleasant dreams about it forever and ever.

      Amen.

      • Beautiful Soup

        How about the bit where they tell deadbeat parents they’ve won a contest and they nab them when they try to collect their winnings? That’s about classy enough for this crew.

        • Dept. of Space Tacos

          oh, if we’re going classy – then it ‘ll be the SVU one where they raid a brothel (russian) and start lining up hookers in lingerie along one wall and partially dressed white guys in boxers along another. And then they see the target of their investigation and one of hte cops says something snappy as they lead him away in nothing but black dress socks.

          (I use to watch A LOT of law and order).

      • guest1331now

        In the meantime, try this:
        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d7Uy0Uznw4E
        My favorite part is how Kellyanne just keeps talking …

        • Dept. of Space Tacos

          I saw that yesterday, blood awesome.

          • Dept. of Space Tacos

            i meant bloody awesome (sorry, not wearing glasses)

        • puredog

          Well, they all do. Gotta take your source material where you find it.

        • Teto85

          I can watch this all day.

          DOINK DOINK

    • Kryptonian Canis

      Donnie Jr. pulled exactly the same shit as Snuffleupagus, so …

  • Bill D. Burger
    • Joe Beese

      That can be construed any number of ways.

  • And we already have a guilty plea amongst his circles

    https://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/amp/trump-campaign-adviser-george-papadopoulos-pleads-guilty-lying-n815596

    So obviously this all shows why we need to maintain a little skepticism about all this Russian stuff…wait what?

    https://theintercept.com/2017/09/28/yet-another-major-russia-story-falls-apart-is-skepticism-permissible-yet/