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House Intel Committee Chair Devin Nunes is bored, everyone. He’s “recused” from his committee’s investigation into an actual scandal, the Trump campaign’s (likely possibly ongoing) collaboration with Russia. Of course, he’s been doing his own “Russia investigation” into fake “wire tapps” and (completely legal) “unmasking” of Trump people done by “Obama people.” Oh, and he’s been harassing British spy Christopher Steele. But AW NUTS, Congress S-U-X if you can’t investigate Hillary Clinton. Like, that is the entire reason Nunes and fellow Republican Trey Gowdy spring morning wood in the morning, and the reason they get morning wood all the other times of the day. It is a science fact that every time you see Nunes or Gowdy on television, even if it is beer-thirty, they have morning wood about investigating Hillary Clinton.

Also, Devin Nunes is a literal cum dumpster (metaphorically speaking) for Donald Trump, and Trump has been toilet-tweeting things about how we need to investigate HILLARY for doing URANIUMS to RUSSIA because ALL CAPS ILLITERATE WORD SALAD WET FARTS. Devin Nunes is a very stupid man, so he considers Trump’s tweets to be marching orders, edicts from God, and also strangely sexually arousing.

So! To that effect, Nunes announced Tuesday that the House Intelligence Committee and the House Oversight Committee will join together in the bonds of holy Hillary hate, and investigate Hillary Clinton, because none of these men have anything to live for if they’re not investigating Hillary Clinton:

Rep. Devin Nunes announced Tuesday that the House Intelligence Committee will investigate the 2010 U.S.-Russia-Uranium deal struck under then-Secretary of State Hillary Clinton. Nunes, who chairs the committee, said they have “been looking into this for a while now” and have been receiving information from various sources about the uranium deal for “the last several months.”

Has he been receiving information from “various sources” inside Donald Trump’s pee hole? Because that is where most of Devin Nunes’s “various sources” live.

Additionally, House Judiciary Committee Chairman Bob Goodlatte and House Oversight and Government Reform Committee Chairman Trey Gowdy announced a joint investigation into the Obama FBI’s handling of the Clinton email probe during the 2016 campaign.

SQUEEEEEEEE! JIZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!

Want to see an actual picture of Devin Nunes from the presser?

Want to see an actual picture of Trey Gowdy? He wasn’t at the presser because he was washing his nipples or something, but Wonkette was able to snap a paparazzi shot:

Now, the actual news on Tuesday was that Senator Bob Corker started the day calling Trump an unhinged, lying cum sock (and one million other mean things) and Senator Jeff Flake ended the day by announcing that, because Donald Trump is a stupid, rude troll baby from the most incompetent ring of hell, he’s retiring at the end of his term. This way he can spend the next 18 months taking a shit on Trump without worrying about re-election. (Yes, #HotTakers, he will probably still vote for a lot of bad things! Flake didn’t announce he was going to stop being a conservative, kids.)

Also Tuesday, Donald Trump had lunch with the GOP senators. He ate rice and also two slices of cherry pie, because whichever one of his nannies drove him to the Capitol said he couldn’t have pie until he had some rice.

Wanna guess what the Fox News website looked like Tuesday afternoon?

Want to see a picture from the Fox News studios right now?

To be clear, the Hillary uranium thing is a hilariously self-debunking bullshit conspiracy from the deepest bowels of wingnuttia. Several months back, while we were reading Trump idiot Kayleigh McEnany for dumbass filth, we noted when she brought up the Hillary Uranium Benghazi Non-troversy that you could debunk the “scandal” by CLICKING ON HER SOURCE LINKS. THE ONES SHE USED. FOR THE PIECE SHE WROTE ABOUT IT. It’s a bullshit claim from the make-believe book Clinton Cash, which was funded by Breitbart, and which was pretty much solidly debunked before it was published.

Wanna read Politifact’s takedown, which rates the conspiracy as “pants full of bullshit,” or whatever they call lies over there? DO IT.

Wanna read FactCheck.org, which rates the conspiracy as “disgusting Pinocchio orgy”? DO IT.

The Daily Beast has a bit more about what Nunes will be “investigating”:

The Hill reported last week that the FBI had been investigating a bribery plot among Russian nuclear officials before President Obama approved the [uranium] deal, which gave Moscow a majority stake in a firm owning much of American uranium. There is no evidence that Sec. Clinton knew about any investigation—and whether it even existed is, Nunes said, a part of this new probe’s focus, despite being simultaneously foundational to it …

Sounds just great, Liddle’ Devin.

As for the new “investigation” Gowdy and his cow-tipping buddies will be undertaking, we’d give you more context, but you can see from above that it is BUT HER EMAILS!!111!!!!11!!11! (We will say, though, that it dovetails nicely with how Trump has been accusing the FBI of treason lately.)

Keep fucking those chickens, boys. And if you get bored, we suppose you can switch places and fuck each other’s chickens, as you seem to enjoy that right nicely. Or if one of you finishes first, go help your buddy out and EIFFEL TOWER HIS CHICKEN, Y’ALL!

Of course, this is all a distraction. These fucking goons must know special counsel Robert Mueller is getting REALLY CLOSE to annihilating their orange Hitler wannabe sugar daddy in the White House, so they’re hitting the panic button. Literally nothing will come of it, because A) there is no “there” there and B) even if there were, these men are remarkably stupid.

But they’ll waste a whole shit-ton of America’s time and taxpayer money in the process! So … #WINNING?

Follow Evan Hurst on Twitter RIGHT HERE.

Wonkette salaries, servers, and all of the things are fully funded by readers like you! If you love us, click here to fund us!

[The Daily Beast]

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  • Michael Smith

    Well, if you look close, one of the stories on Fox’s homepage is “media admits Russia investigation is going nowhere,” so that settles that.

    In other news, the official newspaper of North Korea says that Kim Jong Un is above reproach and that literally every other news source on Earth is a lying sack of shit.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      In other Fox News, water is dry. It just is.

      • Edith Prickly

        You can’t explain that!

    • FlownΩver

      Winner of the 2017 “Most Egregious Use of ‘Media’ as a Singular Noun” award.

  • TJ Barke

    YOOOOOOOGE FUCKIN’ SQUIRREL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • amrak63

    I don’t know what “EIFFEL TOWER” means, as a verb–and I suspect that I really don’t want to know.

    https://i.imgur.com/Y7q6MI3.gif

    • GoutMachine

      An Eiffel of jizz?

    • Creepoman

      Do not Google.

      • amrak63

        I won’t.

      • FlownΩver

        Too late. Breakfast, meet floor.

    • A LITtle Annoyed, Yet ARoused

      Done it a few times. I louvre it. It drives me inSeine.

      • Lascauxcaveman

        Now Eiffel sick :(

      • Historicat

        I can’t believe you have the Gaul to say that.

        • A LITtle Annoyed, Yet ARoused

          And with two other duexdes. Notre Dames involved.
          * Sorry for being so cRued.

  • GoutMachine

    I know you’re doing a diligent job and making things airtight, Robert Muller, and Imma let you finish, but can it be soon, please? Muellermas must come early this year!

    • Edith Prickly

      The anniversary of the 2016 election would be fitting…

  • Scooby

    Why aren’t they investigating why I am still in a Texas Walmart prison?

    • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

      When they say the express lane is 15 items or less, they really mean it?

  • ariel_gee_398

    I can’t wait for the part where they tell us how Hillary is responsible for sending troops to Niger.

    • PubOption

      The Repubs don’t seem to know what the soldiers were doing or are doing in Niger, so Hillary must have sent them.

  • Anna Elizabeth, Diva

    Fuck this shit. Russia has been my enemy for my entire lifespan, and now the GOP entire are in league with Russia.

    • Rocket Pony Ron

      Weren’t we supposed to be done with that in 1991?

      • coozledad

        As soon as the Soviet State imploded, the Cossacks started waving their anti-Semitic dicks. There were calls to become Czarist agin. The Republicans here were already getting behind that flavor of Facism. Because they’re traitors to the goddamn bone, every leeching, shit drinking one of them.

      • Anna Elizabeth, Diva

        I had hoped. It seems now like The Winter Soldier is actually a documentary on how the US Government works.

    • Mr. Blobfish

      Wonder what happened to that Russian sanctions bill once Trump signed it?

  • William
  • Gee, Your Hair Smells Horrific

    Yes, go ahead, investigate Hillary. Just let me know when we get to the “Donald Trump was always a New York Democrat who donated to Planned Parenthood and Chuck Schumer for years” part, because that’s when I know we’re getting close to the end.

  • AtTheTip

    c’mooooon, Mueller, so that we can be done with this shite! Pleeez!

  • Do WHAT to a chicken? I don’t wanna know.

  • jesterpunk

    The republicans are always saying Hillary lost and we should get over it but they are the ones who keep bringing up Hillary for any bullshit conspiracy they can find on dead Breitbart.

    • Rocket Pony Ron

      They think more about Hillary than Bill does.

      • jesterpunk

        Pretty sure they even think about Hillary more then Hillary does too.

  • Xylem

    Does anyone know trout-faced Trey Gowdy’s style consultant?

  • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

    Do either of these twits remember that they weren’t elected to be the Anti-Clinton Police?

    • GoutMachine

      It does seem to be the largest, best funded and most annoying police force in America. And that’s saying something!

  • bbayliss

    …bullshit…

  • Anna Elizabeth, Diva

    Natasha Romanoff: When I first joined S.H.I.E.L.D., I thought it was going straight. But I guess I just traded in the KGB for HYDRA. I thought I knew whose lies I was telling, but… I guess I can’t tell the difference anymore.

    Steve Rogers: There’s a chance you might be in the wrong business.

    Natasha Romanoff: [Smiles slightly] I owe you.

    Steve Rogers: It’s okay.

    Natasha Romanoff: If it was the other way around, and it was down to me to save your life, now, you be honest with me, would you trust me to do it?

    Steve Rogers: I would now. And I’m always honest.

    Natasha Romanoff: Well, you seem pretty chipper for someone who just found out they died for nothing.

    Steve Rogers: Well, I guess I just like to know who I’m fighting.

  • coozledad

    CNN says it “will not be reporting on the contents of the dossier.” So much for that fake news ad. They ought to change that shit to “This is an apple. We don’t eat them because they are made of stuff.”

    And fuck Jake Tapper with his own fake dick.

    • cmd resistor

      Well, DUH, CNN, haven’t we all seen it anyway?

  • Hillary should (justifiably) be a complete and total bastard to these folks, just not show up when she can avoid it, reschedule at the last minute when she has to show up and sit there with her feet up on the table, drinking a beer while they question her. All of her answers should be in the form of “First of all, fuck all of you people. Second of all, fuck all of you people again.”

  • William
  • Martini Ambassador 🍸

    And yet, none of these law-n-order lock-her-up let’s-dump-more-taxpayer-dollars-into-kabuki-theatre-harassment-of-a-private-citizen dildoes seems the least bit interested in finding out why that Niger attack (4 DEAD SERVICEMEN!) was so FUBAR. Priorities!

    • GoutMachine

      Maybe we should just tell them Niger is in Benghazi

      • FlownΩver

        “It isn’t?” – Predisent Stupidhead

  • Mr. Blobfish

    This will surely be the end of Killary’s presidency.

    • GoutMachine

      This is good news for John McCain.

  • CutterTeam

    We’re entering true Radio Rwanda territory here.

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    Jeezus Hillz…..smother these two assholes with a pillow in their sleep and let’s be done with this shit. Why do you think we voted for you?

    • TJ Barke

      For such a cold blooded killer, she seems awful reticent to put down her biggest enemies.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        Right? She only goes after the low-hanging fruit like Vince Foster and Scalia.

      • amrak63

        And yet, the wingnuts never seem to notice that.

        • alwayspunkindrublic

          It’s the Schrodinger’s Dilemma again. Remember how Obama was both the all powerful Negro tyrant with shape shifting and time traveling powers AND a lazy ghetto layabout who drank wine and shot dice all day.

          • amrak63

            And smoked choom. You forgot the Evil Weed.

            **************

            Disqus finally let me post this. Have I mentioned lately that Disqus suqqs qamel qoqqs?

          • amrak63

            And a Dubbel Seekrit Moozlim. You forgot that, too.

  • Creepoman

    Chickens do not approve this message.

  • Mr. Blobfish

    Jason Chaffedick quit the band to soon.

    • TJ Barke

      Aww, and here I hadn’t had to think about that little skidmark in ages…

    • Antonin Dvorak

      He is the Pete Best of Republicans.

  • CutterTeam

    I think it says a lot about Hillary that she was able to fight off her Alzheimer’s, dementia and chronic fatigue long enough to mastermind all of these diabolical plots.

    • Covfefe’s Evil Twin

      Still couldn’t manage to assassinate Roger Stone and/or Ted Nugent, though. I think she is slipping a little from her Vince Foster murderama days.

      • GoutMachine

        Yeah, her follow-through is kinda crap.

      • jesterpunk

        Or even Anthony Weiner.

        • Covfefe’s Evil Twin

          oh, I left the chronic masturbator off my list because that could cross the line of the non-commenting rules. Stone and Nugent are a sideshow. I really really really want to [redacted] Anthony Weiner with a [redacted] one million times and then [redacted] his [redacted] repeatedly with a [redacted] .

          • jesterpunk

            I only bring him up because if Hillary is the murdering she devil they claim she is who kills anyone who crosses her him being alive kind of disproves that whole thing.

          • SeeTrain65

            One thing can be said … you certainly don’t half-ass your redactions.

    • I’m pretty sure that was her doppelganger.

    • Skaarphy

      Multitasking – womenfolk are supposed to be really good at that.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      Her diabolical obsession to leave lousy tips at diners drives her to overcome her infirmities.

    • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

      Hey, this is the same woman that pulled off 9 assassinations in one day while suffering from Lou Gehrig’s disease.

    • Uncle Mark

      After the Benghazi witch hunt, where Hillary kicked Trey Gowdy in the undescended testicles, I’m frankly surprised that Trey is risking Hillary kicking him in his underdeveloped manhood again. The banjo player from “Deliverence” is looking like the far smarter Gowdy twin.

  • Covfefe’s Evil Twin

    OT, and sorry if this was brought up elsewhere, but did any one else get a shit ton of email from Disqus overnight? I liked or recommended or commented on the donut story and received about 1500 emails (basically every time someone posted) just telling me about the post. My Disqus settings usually work and I only get an email if someone directly replies me, so that was weird.

    • Shibusa

      I didn’t have that experience with Disqus but Disqus had been acting up (on my computer anyway) lately.

  • Ducksworthy

    Must be getting desperate. They’re rolling out the Weapons of Mass Distraction.

  • William
    • Paul

      WTF izzat?

      • Creepoman

        Acorn, frozen in ice. Cue opening sequence of Ice Age with Scrat.

        • Paul

          OK, thanks. Never saw Ice Age. I’m old and haven’t been to the Nickelodeon in a while. I do like the newsreels though.

      • William

        acorn

  • Crystalclear12

    They need to get a different squirrel.
    Hillary is tired and no longer running.

    • GoutMachine

      Won’t happen. Reading this, I actually had the thought, Dog forbid she pass on … what do they do now? Obama, obvs. But without those two, who’d their bugaboo be?

      • Creepoman

        Yep – no matter how obviously and blatantly Trump’s criminal gang fucks over everything and everybody, they can trot out “but Hillary was worse!”

      • shivaskeeper

        Shumer, Pelosi, whoever decides to to declare a run in 2020? Front runners in the 2018 midterms who look like they might threaten GOPers seats?

        Basically anyone they like next. The point of keeping Hillary in the picture is she is one of the ultimate boogewomen. Keep the base riled up about her and they tie her to whoever is next on the list.

        As an added bonus, if she has to come in to testify, or defend herself and her reputation in any way, elements of both the left and the right can both simultaneously scream about wishing she would just shut up and go away.

      • Proud Liberal

        Republicans are fucking nuts. They will never stop hounding Democrats. It doesn’t matter which one.

        • tomamitai

          They’re not just nuts, they’re duplicitous scum who see “mercy” as weak and foolish, and they’re trying to make their control of government permanent, no matter what it takes.

          Obama declined to investigate the Shrub administration for their
          shenanigans with intel in the run-up to the second Iraq war or for war
          crimes committed in the waging of that war on the grounds that it would
          set a bad precedent and leave future Democratic administrations at risk
          of being prosecuted for their actions and decisions. The
          republicans are going to repay him by saying “thanks a lot, dumb-ass, now
          drop your pants and grab your ankles”.

    • Covfefe’s Evil Twin

      Like my golden retrievers, GOPers are sure, absolutely positive, that this time the squirrel won’t run up the tree and get away.

      • amrak63

        Canine libelz!

    • Beanz&Berryz

      Except the news coverage turns that way for a couple days

  • Ghenghis McCann
    • bbayliss

      “If at first you don’t succeed, keep on suckin’ ’till you do suck seed”. Three Stooges eating oranges.

    • SeeTrain65

      “And did you know nothing succeeds … like a budgie with no teeth?” – Benny Hill

  • coozledad

    Hey Maggie Haberman! Don’t this just saw a turd off in yer shorts?
    https://twitter.com/kylegriffin1/status/923172610011254785

    • Antonin Dvorak

      His mouth looks photoshopped.

    • Ghenghis McCann

      The estate of Peter W. Smith? Surely not another death that Killary arranged?

      • coozledad

        He died Russian style. Held him down on a bed and gassed his ass.

    • Proud Liberal

      I’m guessing there’s a lot more to this story.

      • bbayliss

        understatement, your forte?

  • nightmoth

    Trey and Devin can jizz all they want: ain’t no live sperm in there.

  • Proud Liberal
    • Phoenixdoglover

      This looks suspiciously like a factual presentation. Now why would you go and do that?

    • SeeTrain65

      “This thing sez Clinton done it! Lock ‘er up! … No, YOU READ IT! I don’ haff to!”

  • It’s pretty obvious that this whole “Hillaryz paid for the Pee Pee Dossier” kerfuffle is a leak from Nunes or someone close to him. They keep trying to discount it, but nothing about it has been disproven. I.e. THE PEE HOOKERS ARE REAL!!!!

    • Proud Liberal

      That’s what worries Trump the most. PEE HOOKERS!

      • Edith Prickly

        I’m not sure why, his disgusting sexual behaviour didn’t stop people from voting for him.

        • Proud Liberal

          Indeed.

        • He’s lose a lot of the 1950s “Good old days” types who were just fine with sexual harassment, and sexual assault but ONLY if it was done in the missionary position with the lights off! Nothing kinky, even if it’s between consenting adults!

        • shivaskeeper

          His base right now are the White Evangelicals. They are some of the most repressed people on Earth. In public. As long as they keep their sins behind closed doors and out to the public eye, it’s all good. The only thing that really gets to them is having their sins exposed. When that happens, the rest of their fellow travelers will turn on them in a heartbeat, and they would expect no less. Just as they would turn on anyone else being so exposed.

          Keeping that shit under wraps is key for them.

        • WeaselPoo

          I recall reading that the pee hookers weren’t necessarily for Trump per se, but were hired to pee on the bed that Obama had slept on during his Russia visit..I find that allegation more congruent with Trump’s pysche and M.O. than him being sexually gratified with directly received ‘pee play”.
          And after that calm consideration, I have to remind myself that I’m finessing the details of ‘presidential’ behaviour. FFS.

          • Vagenda and Pee-ara

            Hey WP, I have an idea that could help you and your brother. Over the road truck drivers (especially team drivers) are in high demand. The trucks have two bunks in them, and it’s one of the few jobs where you can smoke. You could have a place to live and a job. Some companies will pay for your training. That’s just a thought, I hope it helps.

      • shivaskeeper

        I think it’s worse than PEE HOOKERS. If the original dossier is true, the hookers only peed on the bed while he watched. Tacky as hell, sure, but not overly out of bounds.

        But… if that’s on tape, what else is? I think the what else is what worries him. It may not even be kinky sex, but only audio/video evidence of major crimes form his own mouth.

        • Yeah, pee hookers, in and of themselves, is just silly/mildly amusing. There have been rumors of Trump consorting with underage hookers in Russia. Actual tape of that would be a bombshell.

          • shivaskeeper

            I don’t even think that worries him much. “I thought she was legal age, she looked legal age”. He’s also rich and white. No judge is going to throw the book at him for something like that.

            I should have been more specific. By crimes I meant financial crimes. Things that could show his empire to be nothing more than paper, or get him actually on trial and put in jail. Anything that might serve to make him less rich is what he worries about.

    • Thiazin Red

      But is it even a leak if it was something known over a year ago?

      • bbayliss

        October 2016

  • Mr. Blobfish

    I will bet you one dozen (12) donuts that a Trump fan couldn’t tell you what a private email server is.

    • TJ Barke

      You are correct, sir!

    • Edith Prickly

      All they know is that if Hillary has one, it’s BAD.

      • therblig

        so, it’s a vagina?

        • Alan

          Vaginas are good in my world.

    • Rocket Pony Ron

      Maple dipped?

      • Covfefe’s Evil Twin

        You MONSTER!

    • tomamitai

      Gomer Pyle’s husband?

      • Mr. Blobfish

        Wasn’t that Rock Hudson?

    • Dutchman

      They have those at Mar A Lago, correct?

      • Cornelius Fussbudget

        That’s right, and when they bring the emails they put them under a gold-plated tureen.

    • coozledad

      Quite a few of the Berners couldn’t either. But there wasn’t a damn thing that could separate them from that native white sanctimony.

  • Shibusa

    As Rep. Jim Himes says, “This is the latest installment of ‘Don’t look there, look over here!’”

    • Proud Liberal

      Exactly. Watch what they do. Not what they say.

    • tomamitai

      Also too, it plays to the idea that “they’re ALL crooked!!!!!!1!!”, so folks think they might as well elect the crook who blows their dog’s whistle.

  • Cogswell – In a Mirror, Darkly
  • bbayliss

    “On the one hand, Russia doesn’t have a license to export uranium outside the United States, so, as Oilprice.com noted, “it’s somewhat disingenuous to say this uranium is now Russia’s, to do with what it pleases.”
    Case fucking closed.

  • OrG

    “been looking into this for awhile now.”
    No shit. Find anything?
    DUMBASS.

    • (((fka_donnie_d))), SOB

      We have looked into it, and concluded we should look some more

  • HazooToo

    I… I don’t want any more pictures… or breakfast.

    • Proud Liberal

      No shit. Those pictures up there are disgusting.

  • P’jama Pahnts

    It’s like, Hillary’s evil escapades just keep never stopping!

    • Mr. Blobfish

      It just makes her stronger.

    • Ghenghis McCann

      Just like some Hollywood franchises. Each time around it’s a poor imitation of the one before.

      • Sakonyachen

        These seem to get increasingly expensive. Do Hollywood franchise failures do that as well?

  • Bad Scooter
  • Cogswell – In a Mirror, Darkly
  • Mary Theresa

    What a coincidence. Just in time for mid term elections.

  • cmd resistor

    I read he ate meatloaf as well. http://thehill.com/homenews/senate/357018-inside-trumps-meeting-with-senate-gop
    My favorite part of this story:
    But other senators were less amused by the meeting, which they complained lacked substance and focus.
    “He said the tax cuts are ‘going to be great,’ ” without going into any detail, said one GOP senator who requested anonymity to assess the meeting candidly.
    “He just went on and on, talking about his accomplishments and going off on tangents. It was inane,” the lawmaker added.
    But Trump’s critics mostly stayed silent, leaving the floor to colleagues who had more positive things to say to the president.
    The GOP lawmaker said some of the questions to Trump were so effusive that it sparked the thought, “You’re not in his Cabinet, you don’t need to kiss up to him.”

    • PubOption

      Meatloaf, because Trump loves them (for their votes), needs them (for their votes), but there’s no way he’s ever gonna love them.

      • cmd resistor

        There is an actual menu item at one of the Trump Tower restaurants called: Mr. Trump’s Mother’s Meatloaf. There’s a recipe floating around the Internet. Nothing amazing , kind of boring, as one might expect.

        • SeeTrain65

          Too much ketchup. No substance.

          • cmd resistor

            I put a little bit of ketchup in my meatloaf, but not enough that you would even be able to tell it’s there. And I don’t glop the red sauce on top. I wonder how often Mrs. Trump actually cooked meatloaf.

    • Alan
      • SeeTrain65

        “… but I won’t do that.”

    • TakingAmes

      The thought, but not the actual speaking out loud.

  • Nockular cavity

    edicts from God

    Didn’t Bill O’Reilly warn you about that guy?

  • Mr. Blobfish
    • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

      Oy. Let’s not stroke the sociopath’s ego any more than we have to.

  • CafeenMan

    They’re going to waste tax-payer money and time anyway so best they do it doing shit that’s going nowhere than doing something that actually fucks over everyone but themselves and the 0.1%.

  • Mavenmaven

    Nunes misunderstood what Trump actually wanted from him as “uranium”.

    • Spurning Beer

      Uranium is the element that comes from Uranus, isn’t it?

      And Santorum is the element that comes from….

      • Mavenmaven

        Yes, that’s where Nunes and Gowdy pull most of their ideas from.

  • Bad Scooter

    funny how obtaining opposition research was okay and something “a lot of people” would pay for when Don Jr. met with Russians to see if he could get some.

    • Augustus

      they are constantly contradicting themselves to the point that that alone has destroyed their credibility (along with two dozen other reasons)

      they’ve been lying and squirming and snaking their way through the spin cycle so long I don’t know if most of them even have the capability to tell the truth or to have a consistent set of ethics

      I like to think of these TrumpSluts™ as sort of Gollum-like creatures, who once were recognizably human but have devolved into a kind of cave-dweller (Capitol Hill), obsessed with Trumpianism (the Ring)

      the Mercers and Kochs of the world obviously are Sauron

      • amrak63

        No, they are the Nazgul. Putin is Sauron.

        • JustDon’tSayConfabulation

          More like Saruman, thinking they can take the Ring from Putin.

          Good lord, we’re nerds.

          • amrak63

            You’re correct; multiple Sarumans (Sarumen?) makes a better analogy.

          • JustDon’tSayConfabulation

            Sarumaniacs?

    • Cornelius Fussbudget

      Good point…we should be pointing out that this revelation actually absolves the Clinton campaign of any wrongdoing. If the dossier was paid for by Russia and donated to the campaign, then that would be a scandal.

  • bbayliss

    BREAKING…October 2016:
    “This was for a an opposition research project originally funded by a Republican client … before [Steele] was retained, the project’s financing switched to a client allied with Democrats.”

  • ken_kukec

    “… Congress S-U-X if you can’t investigate Hillary Clinton.”

    Funny, how sometimes a single clause can capture the entire congressional GOP zeitgeist.

  • Thank God they’re out there protecting us from a woman in government… who is no longer in government, but still a woman! Probably even bleeding out from her whatever… you know… because that’s what women do. And shopping. Amirite, boys? Hahahaha…

    Fucking asshats.

    • suziq

      Other age the only bleeding she does is when she cuts a finger preparing dinner. I would guess.

  • Mr. Blobfish

    Fats Domino has found his final thrill on Blueberry Hill. RIP.

    • Antonin Dvorak

      Ain’t that a shame.

      • SeeTrain65

        My tears are falling like rain.

    • SpideySenser

      Bummer! I saw him about 30 years ago at the Melody Tent in Cohassett, MA. He was fabulous! Really good show.

  • Phoenixdoglover

    Glad to see Wonkette is on the case, investigating the investigation of the investigation.

    Jack Daniels, meet ice.

  • Bub, the cynical zombie
    • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

      “Multiple standing ovations! (FOR MEEEEE!)” I know we always play, ‘Can you imagine of Obama said this?’, but…
      CAN YOU IMAGINE IF OBAMA HAD SAID THIS??

      • Cat Cafe

        Or Hillary?

    • JustDon’tSayConfabulation

      Well that reference just sailed over 45’s head.

    • “Which of you shall we say doth love us most
      That we our largest bounty may extend
      Where nature doth with merit challenge?”

      King Lear, Act 1, Scene 1

  • bbayliss

    It took me three minutes to debunk this bullshit over a year ago.

    • theblackdog

      Yeah but I’m betting you still have people on Facebook who are also jizzing their pants while clicking the share button on the latest “HILLARY IS VICTIMIZING TRUMP AND GOD FEARING AMERICANS”

      • bbayliss

        I started seeing uranium as a buzzword on breitbart about 6 months ago.

      • bbayliss

        Just one of the reasons I refuse to participate in Facebook.

        • Sakonyachen

          Taunting those people is half the reason I’m on Facebook.

  • Iron Monkey

    xv

  • Vagenda and Pee-ara

    Hillary needs to take out a restrasining order against these halfwit, stalker, frat boys. They are clearly in love with her, and she’s busy washing her hair and going on dates with Chad…err…I mean Bill.

    • La Cieca

      It’s the mean girls like Maggie Haberman who are the real danger.

    • Cat Cafe

      Totally Chad, that’s why Trump put him on the ban list.

  • ken_kukec

    “Has he been receiving information from ‘various sources’ inside Donald Trump’s pee hole?”

    If this were a Robert Ludlum title, it could be “The Meatus Provenance.”

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
  • capnkrunch

    Also, Devin Nunes is a literal cum dumpster (metaphorically speaking)

    ALLEGEDLY (the metaphorical part that is)

  • Amy!

    Was it just yesterday that Trey Gowdy mentioned, in a casual aside, that of course all committee investigations in the House and Senate are politically motivated, and really aren’t anything but politics?

    I figured then that he would be announcing a new squirrel investigation pretty soon. Man has absolutely no capacity for self-examination.

  • TakingAmes

    Omigod. The resident eats like my picky 4-year-old would if I permitted it.

  • Poly_Ester

    When will Devin resurrect the White Water investigation because Congress didn’t do a complete job last time?

  • JD Mulvey

    Lol… “morning wood”

    Which reminds me of this stone classic from Oregon’s (should-be) poet laureat Tom Heinl!

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vrRlQ5QHWZM

  • pstokk

    Is debunking the opposite of I’ll-be-in-my-bunking? Cause this post just accomplished that.

  • Paperless Tiger

    Another reason to smear Hillary right now is that everybody knows she would have vetoed that bill to give the banksters a license to steal.

  • Lefty Wright

    Once again, the whole issue about the Uranium One deal is just a diversion. And most of the media is playing into it. They keep repeating 20%, 20%, 20%, like we gave away most of the world supply. But even that is suspect, with production in 2014 estimated at 11% of US production. And it cannot be exported. In addition, the US has only between 4% to as low as 1% of uranium known reserves (deposits that are identified and can be mined), meaning the whole deal accounts for at most 1% of world wide uranium supplies to as little as .1%. And as mentioned multiple times, the sole reason that this is an issue is that someone has trouble connecting dots. They are going up, down, backwards, forwards, laterally, vertically and horizontally to try to make some connection that follow no clear path. In the mean time, Trump is jeopardizing our access to uranium from Australia (# 1 in reserves) and Canada (#3) with his attacks on their trade policies and general hatefulness.

    https://oilprice.com/Alternative-Energy/Nuclear-Power/Does-Russia-Really-Own-20-Of-The-US-Uranium-Reserves.html

    http://www.world-nuclear.org/information-library/nuclear-fuel-cycle/uranium-resources/supply-of-uranium.aspx

    Numerous people have listed other links that debunk the basic assertion by Nunes that something illegal was happening on this sale. This was just to show that the whole issue is small potatoes.

  • AnnieGetYerFun

    Guys, I just realized that Hillary is responsible for Corker and Flake breaking with Trump. It’s SO OBVIOUS ONCE YOU START DRINKING ANTI-FREEZE.

    • SeeTrain65

      If you use the 50/50 mix with water, you don’t get the full effect of this “insight.”

  • Susie Lochary

    The only investigation Devin No Nuts Nunes and Trey Howdy Doodie Gowdy are fit to lead is finding out which nose pickin member has been wiping all the boogers under their important official ‘committee to get something…. ANYTHING’ on Hillary Clinton’ table.

  • quantum mechanic

    For referencing Lonely Planet’s Jizz in My Pants I award Evan qm’s highest award:’https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/e1cbca8956045ef572e8a7c329250cc51b4f8d2549d2b1eab3f336ebf4a334b2.gif highest award:

  • Viktor

    Hopefully Mueller’s investigation is loaded up and ready to shoot some truth on this circle of jerks trying who are trying to change the narrative

  • JoeChristmas

    And the best part is that the MSM gets to play their favorite game of bothsiderism again!1!! Paging Maggie Haberman. Paging Maggie Haberman.!

  • PincheMacha

    Those poor, poor, poor chickens. Ugh.

  • BeachLoafer

    “debunked” has more than one syllable, and is therefore inapplicable in trumpworld

    • phoenix00

      Trump has never had to sleep in a bunk all his life. Therefore inapplicable.

  • They should be forced to get money for their investigations on GoFundMe or something like that.

  • The Librarian

    Time to ride the email merry-go-round again, which, amazingly, will take them to Nowhereville once more. I hope they get lost and stay lost along the way this time.

  • SeeTrain65

    It never seemed a coincidence that “Dumb Trumpster” rhymed with “Cum Dumpster.”

  • kloewent

    Can HRC just refuse to testify at their “he-man hilary haters” club, or is she required to attend?

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