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OOOOOOH, GIRL!!! Nina Totenberg is ready to dish on Justice Neil Gorsuch. And we at Wonkette are HERE FOR IT!

My surmise from what I’m hearing is that Justice Kagan really has taken him on in conference, and that it’s a pretty tough battle. And it’s gonna get tougher. And she is about as tough as they come. And I am not sure he’s as tough, or dare I say it, maybe not as smart.

WHAAAAAA????? Did the Grande Dame of Supreme Court reporting just call the new guy a moron?

Totenberg told the essential SCOTUS podcast First Mondays that manspreading all over oral arguments is winning Gorsuch no friends.

It’s not so much the number. If they were great questions, that would be one thing. But they’re not. And they don’t add a lot.

Sure Scalia asked a lot of questions. But at least his weren’t STUPID.

I always thought he was very smart, but he has a tin ear somehow. And he doesn’t seem to bring anything new to the conversation at least in the cases I have covered.

Via CNN,

As Roberts was referring to possible interstate routes across Montana, he said, “They’re going to take — what is it — 95 across? Not 95. 90?”

Gorsuch interjected to set him straight: “I-80 across Montana.”

Roberts responded with a jocular reference to Gorsuch’s roots in Colorado. “There you go,” he said. “It’s that geographical diversity.”

Except, oopsie, it was really 90.

“It’s 90 across Montana. 80 across Wyoming. I’m very sorry, Mr. Chief Justice.”

Mitch McConnell broke the Senate to give you this stolen seat on the bench, but you should definitely give Justice Roberts the full Well Actually treatment. That’ll go over, dude!

 

Totenberg continued,

It was really striking how — I don’t know how to put this diplomatically — how awkward Gorsuch is, Justice Gorsuch is. And how much he ticks off some of the members of the Court. And I don’t think it’s just the liberals, although it’s certainly their hackles that you can see rise the most prominently.

Oh, you mean how he pissed off John Roberts by skipping the first conference, parading around Kentucky with Mitch McConnell, and giving a speech at the Trump Hotel that’s the subject of an emoluments lawsuit?

Or how he’s like a judge out of Dead Breitbart’s Coloring Book For Homeschooled White Children?

During the partisan gerrymandering case, Gorsuch said to the lawyer, the counsel for the people challenging the gerrymander, “Maybe we can just for a moment talk about the arcane matter of the Constitution. And where exactly do we get the authority to revise state legislative lines.” And there was a sort of beat in the courtroom. There was a sort of moment, a silent beat that you could almost feel. And within that moment, Justice Ginsburg leaned forward, which meant that I could just see the top of her head, and said to him, she actually said to Paul Smith who was arguing the case, “Well, where did we get one person one vote from then?”

Because that stuff about “the arcane matter of the Constitution” is just dogwhistling that he wants to shitcan the last 70 years of Supreme Court precedent on the Equal Protection clause and the right to privacy, aka abortion. Which is an odd position for a guy who wrote a book called The Law of Precedent. But intellectual whores gonna intellectually whore, right?

 

Tell us more, Ms. Totenberg. Is Justice Gorsuch making allies with his unthreatening intellect and easygoing charm?

There are kind of little flip remarks. Even when he thinks he’s being funny, it seems to fall flat. So, for example in the partisan gerrymandering case, he said to the lawyer who was challenging the partisan gerrymandering, that’s Paul Smith, he said to him, “You know, what you’re recommending here for a standard sounds a little bit like my steak rub. A little bit of this, and a little bit of that.” And he was grinning, and I think he thought he was making a pretty good joke. And there was this eerie silence in the courtroom. People didn’t laugh. I probably chuckled a bit under my breath because I felt bad for him. It was just awkward.

Yeah, we had a few chuckles about Justice Whitebread pretending to put turmeric on his steak ourselves. We really can’t wait for the gayhating baker case so we can hear how the Justice expresses himself artistically by using ketchup to bake chocolate cake — and thus you can’t force a baker to create sodomy art for Adam and Steve. And Ohio can purge its voter rolls because sometimes he makes a BLT without tomatoes! Oh, that Neil is such a card!

[First Mondays / CNN / Slate]

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  • Anna Elizabeth

    Upfist for both of your articles making me smile, and would that I had moar upfists for the Miley Cyrus .gif. :)

  • wide_stance_hubby

    It’s almost as if this tool who looks like a substitute soap opera actor is a tool who looks like a substitute soap opera actor.

  • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

    The fact that we are getting leaks about what he does in conference is striking. Conference is practically sacred to the Supreme Court, and no one is present except the justices. So one of his fellow justices is the one dropping the dime on the dope.

    • Anna Elizabeth

      Ahh, that’s something i did not know.

    • Fivedollarfeminist

      Shhhhhhhh. Auntie Ruth would never!

    • Vincent Ricola

      I like to think RBG is secretly recording it all with her phone and spending her evenings editing it down (while listening to fine classical music and sipping a nice port) before sending it off to the press.

      • Crystalclear12

        It would be even funnier if it wasn’t her.

        • LesBontemps

          My money’s on Alito. You just can’t trust that fucker.

          • Raan

            I’m going with the dark horse, Kennedy.

          • willi0000000

            alito would never do that to another fellow who likes bidnid better than people.

    • ariel_gee_398

      Kagan apparently wants to kick Gorsuch into the sun, with votes or something. Maybe she blabbed to a friend before she busted a blood vessel and it spiraled from there.

    • SisterArtemis

      … or someone bugged the flower arrangement

  • Crystalclear12

    Can’t help but think that his fellow Justices don’t think of him as “real”.
    That his presence is an insult.

    • In closed doors they sometimes accidentally call him Merrick…

    • Persistent Demme

      I’ll bet you’re right.

    • Cornelius Fussbudget

      I’m hoping, early on during the 50 or so years the Democrats will be in power after this administration, that they’ll add two more justices to the supreme court. That seems approximately an equal reaction to the way Garland was treated.

  • Oblios_Cap

    So… you’re stating that he’s a classic Trump administration appointee?

    • Crystalclear12

      Yep, from the same cloning farm in New Jersey.

      • Raan

        I think the proper colloquial term is “bastard farm”.

      • wide_stance_hubby

        Nexus 5 Supplicant

  • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

    Even numbered Interstates go east-west.

    Duh.

    • AnnieGetYerFun

      I never noticed that. But I am bad at the things.

      • Skwerl the Nazi Puncher

        Oh I could talk to you about the hiway numbering schemes for hours because…nerd.

        • Zonath

          Please explain the anomaly that is US 101. TIA.

          • Rags

            Not an interstate. Like US 1 on both coasts….

        • Major_Major_Major

          Would you care to have a debate about the superiority of I-40 as the primary E/W route over I-10? Discuss amongst yourselves, provide references and primary sources.

          • Oblios_Cap

            Since I’m in North Florida, I-10 is closer. But it does go through a big stretch of Texas.

          • Major_Major_Major

            We used to take I-10 from Jax to Houston every summer. There are exactly three landmarks, 1) Mobile Bay Tunnel, 2) Bridge over the Swamps in LA, and 3) countless miles of boring ass low hills and scrub pine. technically you could add NOLA as well, but we always used 12 to bypass that leg

          • Oblios_Cap

            you forgot the miles of deer fences on both sides.

        • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

          I bet you have thoughts about the proposed I-11 numbering snafu.

        • Historicat

          Care to comment on the renamed section of US-59 around Houston which became I-69?

      • Ill-Advised

        I’ve never understood the hot mess that is 76, lovingly known to the locals as “the Sure Kill” and to the Dutch as “the Schuylkyll.”

    • WotsAllThisThen

      And numbers increase going north.

    • Oblios_Cap

      There are, I hear, both directions in both Montana and Wyoming. Who knew?

      • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

        Libertine roads!

      • Skwerl the Nazi Puncher

        Cars go in, cars come out. Nobody can explain it.

        • WotsAllThisThen

          Fuck it! We’ll do it drive!

          • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

            And in the road!

          • Rags

            Do it!

          • Oblios_Cap

            No one will be watching us.

      • willi0000000

        yes . . . but they still don’t trust north, south, up and down.

    • Courser_Resistance

      I read that as was like, “DUH! I-80 cuts across Nebraska and Wyoming, you dumbass! How could you come from Boulder and NOT KNOW THAT???”

      • Ill-Advised

        It was how he said it.

    • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

      And odd numbers are north-south.

  • AnnieGetYerFun

    You know that SCOTUS was all set to welcome Garland and they don’t like the understudy.

  • Michael Smith

    Maybe at the next oral arguments he can pick his questions from those suggested by posters on the The_Donald subreddit.

  • Persistent Demme

    Is Gorsuch trying to make “fetch” happen?

    • AnnieGetYerFun

      He was so hoping that Totenberg was going to talk endlessly about him on NPR. He just thought it would be about how awesome he is.

      • Persistent Demme

        Nope.
        The Trumpstink is over him.

  • WotsAllThisThen

    My carne asada dry rub has cinnamon, so maybe the justice has a point. Adjourn for lunch?

  • Oblios_Cap

    It’s hard to believe that none of the Justices are sanctimonious pricks like Gorsuch.

    • AnnieGetYerFun

      You’d think at least Alito would be.

  • Zonath

    Doesn’t take a whole lot of smarts to be a strict textualist. Just sayin’.

    • Oblios_Cap

      Or imagination.

    • Rags

      Doesn’t take a whole lot of smarts to pretend your rwnj opinions are textual. FIFY

    • Aggle Wok

      Strictly heterotextualist

    • SeeTrain65

      “It Takes A Thief.”

    • Ill-Advised

      At first glance, I read that as texasist.
      What they do to text book contents.
      And your non-comment became quite discerning.

  • Iam Reading

    This guy should never get a moment of peace. Somebody should always be shouting in his face that he is occupying a stolen seat. Harass him until he steps down or has a fucking heart attack.

    • AnnieGetYerFun

      I have it on good authority that Ruth puts tacks on his chair before session.

      • Three Finger Salute

        I was going to say a whoopee cushion, but that’s really Uncle Thomas the few times every other leap year he “speaks” from the bench.

      • and ben gay in his jock strap.

        • Daniel

          It’d be funnier if it was Gay Ben.

          He’s gentle, and a bear.

    • Three Finger Salute

      Well then, someone should do the same to Trump, who is also the illegal Russian usurper of President Hillary Clinton’s rightful claim to the Oval Office.

      • Augustus

        Sure, although, they’re still trying their best to obfuscate that one

        Gorsuch is a fucking fraud, clear as day, and no one can argue about that fact

      • mt2099

        George W. Bush also too, because without him, Al Gore would now be an ex-president.

  • beingreleased

    “And how much he ticks off some of the members of the Court. And I don’t think it’s just the liberals…”

    Of course, as a true Trumpie, the only reason to do anything is to piss off liberals.

    • Paperless Tiger

      And acting like an asshole is good for that.

  • AnnieGetYerFun

    After his Senate confirmation last April, Gorsuch skipped the first scheduled justices-only meeting even though Roberts encouraged him to attend. He fired off a raft of dissenting opinions, some that seemed to scold his colleagues. He has dominated oral arguments, cutting off and correcting other justices, expounding on the scope of the Constitution.

    With an approach that evinces the opposite of Roberts’ concern for appearances, Gorsuch spoke to a gathering of the conservative Fund for American Studies at the Trump International Hotel in Washington, embroiled in litigation about unconstitutional financial benefit for the President who appointed him.

    Previously, Gorsuch joined Senate Republican Leader Mitch McConnell in Kentucky for an event at the University of Louisville — that after McConnell kept the Supreme Court seat vacant following Scalia’s death for a year, refusing to hold a hearing on Judge Merrick Garland.

    I mean, that alone is enough to get him booted from the cool kids’ table at lunch.

    • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

      Yeah – Roberts is a dick, and he has no problem slanting the court in subtle ways. It’s the overt behavior of looking like a partisan hack that pisses him off.

      • Crystalclear12

        Roberts is old and starting to think of the history books.
        Not the best time to play new guy being an ass.

    • Skwerl the Nazi Puncher

      I won’t be surprised if he is the second Associate Justice to be impeached.

      Jan. 1st, 2019,
      Dear House of Reps and Senate,
      Please remove this asshole.
      -The rest of the Court.

    • Persistent Demme

      I like to picture Gorsuch wandering around with a full lunch tray, and looking, (but not finding), for a place to sit.

      • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

        Well, the funniest thing is that the least senior Associate Justice is responsible for making the coffee (or the coffee run) for the others. It’s the traditional “haze the rookie” thing.

  • SeeTrain65

    Sure Scalia asked a lot of questions. But at least his weren’t STUPID.

    No. But his opinions were.

    • Major_Major_Major

      That is pure applesauce.

    • ImGoingBacon

      true, but he did put ‘argle bargle’ on the map.

      • SeeTrain65

        Mainly because most of his opinions were argle-bargle.

  • WotsAllThisThen

    Funny how he didn’t ask where in the Constitution it says corporations are people.

    • Oblios_Cap

      Is Black & Decker only 3/5 of one?

      • sarahjane1912

        Well played. *Applauds*

  • AnnieGetYerFun

    Honestly, in the vein of Groucho Marx’s “wouldn’t want to join any club that would have me”, I feel that any judge would would accept a nomination to SCOTUS from Trump must be horrible to the core.

  • aureolaborealis

    Here’s Gorsuch, talking about his rub, probably:

    https://youtu.be/CnOg_ZS4eSE?t=42s

  • What next, John Kelly making an appearance at a press briefing to say that Nina Totenberg is an “empty barrel” and that white male supreme court justices “used to be sacred”?

  • MynameisBlarney
  • Cornelius Fussbudget

    You see, nepotism isn’t just bad for the people who lost the position (Garland), it’s also a reliable way of finding someone incapable of doing a good job. Even if your definition of “good job” is ratfuckery.

  • Crystalclear12
    • Three Finger Salute

      They can’t even compete with free. Scalper’s worst nightmare.

    • SeeTrain65

      What am I offered for Lot 25? What am I offered for Lot 25 and a year’s subscription to ‘Youth Companion?’ Will somebody take a year’s subscription? I’m Trying To Work My Way Through College! Will somebody take a six-month subscription? I’ll Go To High School! Does anybody want to buy a lead pencil? I’ll wrestle anybody in the crowd for five dollars! – Groucho Marx, The Cocoanuts

    • Crank Tango

      It’s called Scourge Pricing.

  • Daniel

    “A little bit of this, and a little bit of that.”
    [Awkward cough]
    “Shut up Neil.”

    • guppy06

      I was already sick of that song two decades ago…

  • TheGrandWazoo2

    False premise. In conservative politics there is no such thing as obnoxious enough.

    • Daniel

      Case in point: Ted Cruz.

      • Three Finger Salute

        Too obnoxious even for Harper country. That’s bigly yuge.

  • wide_stance_hubby

    Surprisingly, no one wanted to hear what he rubs his meat with.

    • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

      The bitter tears of the poor and dispossed, for $100 Alex.

      • jesterpunk

        “That trucker should have died instead of disobeying his boss”.

        Gorsuch.

    • LesBontemps

      Pretty sure it’s the Constitution.

  • Lance Thrustwell

    Uh oh. A bad sense of humor is a tell-tale sign of the worst sort of conservative. Other common signs include unearned, implacable smugness, helmet-perfect hair, and speaking just a little more loudly than necessary.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    “I-80 across Montana.”

    UM…a simple map would have saved Gorsuch from that error. Or does Neil think the Constitution encodes America’s freeway system as well?

    • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

      Having taken I-80 lots of times on the long trip from Nevada to Indiana, I think I would have noticed being in Montana…

    • Oblios_Cap

      The Founding Fathers didn’t say anything about no Interstate highway system!

      Syy, do you know who did, though?

    • guppy06

      Easier still: Interstate numbers start in the south and west (e.g. I-10 in SoCal) and increase as you go east and/or north (I-95 through Maine). I-90 would run north of I-80, and since Montana is a border state…

    • Augustus

      hint: he’s a fucking moron

    • Paul Dietzel

      I suppose it would be kind of easy to get 80 & 90 confused if you were misremembering that “Interstate numbers start in the south and west (e.g. I-10 in SoCal) and increase as you go east and/or north (I-95 through Maine). I-90 would run north of I-80, and since Montana is a border state… (thanks, guppy)” but what 50-year old guy who’s spent half those years in D.C. doesn’t know where
      I-95 is? It’s only about 2-1/2 miles straight east on East Capitol Street to the Anacostia Freeway. Of course that just might take you through some, ahem, urban, neighborhoods. Also takes you right by DC United’s ( ya know, soccer, so Commie ) stadium (for now) so he’d have to worry ’bout that too,

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Mitch McConnell broke the Senate to give you this stolen seat on the bench

    And that’s why Neil is acting like an asshole–he’s trying to distract us from the knowledge that he does not legitimately belong there. Not going to work, asshole…
    /FFS

    • Historicat

      I hate McConnell even more than I hate Donnie.

      I want Mitch to lie on his deathbed, wracked with pain, surrounded by caregivers who are openly contemptuous of him.

      I want him to linger on that deathbed to the point where he whimpers, “I’m ready to die.” And then I want him to continue lingering.

  • MynameisBlarney
  • jesterpunk

    Wait you mean the guy who had one of his rulings overturned by SCOTUS during his conformation hearing might be A Idiot?

  • beingreleased

    White supremacist supporters of Richard Spencer open fire on counter-protesters
    What’s the appropriate comment here?
    (a) I’m sure there were good people on both sides.
    (b) Why won’t the white community condemn these terrorists?
    (c) They were probably radicalized in their churches.

    • beingreleased

      Good people sometimes make Nazi salutes, right?
      https://twitter.com/ADL_National/status/921415303342551047

      • jesterpunk
        • Augustus

          ew, what a ghoul

          • jesterpunk

            It’s actually worse with the full stage, the side she did the Nazi salute to had a big image of Trump on the screen at the RNC.

        • Impatient

          Just watched, again, the video of “Cabaret” song, Tomorrow Belongs to Me. Beautifully done scene. Chilling as hell.

          That first instant of her salute … at attention, lips pursed … really is undeniable. Except in modern Republican world, where everything is both deniable and undeniable, simultaneously. (Quantum politics?)

      • Blackest Noobs

        Geez if i shot at everyone who annoyed me, well, hmmmm, we would definitely have a population numbers drop, just saying…

      • Lefty Wright

        I have been in church services where some members are overcome with the spirit of Christ and raise their arm in a salute. It usually looks like a Nazi salute, arm and fingers straight out at about a 10:00 o’clock position.

        • beingreleased

          What have we told you about going to church?

      • SeeTrain65

        I certainly hope the 17 percent of people who clicked that they were HAPPY about this meant they were happy these three dunces were arrested.

        • Rocket Pony Ron

          Me too, but I do wonder.

      • Carole
    • Three Finger Salute

      (d) Obama is the real racist. Everything was fine until he started empowering the blacks.

    • jesterpunk

      Did they have permits?

    • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

      Texan nazis visiting Florida to attend a nazi rally. That’s a recipe for disaster right there.

      • Oblios_Cap

        I hate Texas Nazis!

        • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

          IK,R! Everything is bigger in Texas, even the assholes.

          • puredog

            Gaping. “The Goatse State.”

      • guppy06

        Busin’ in Nazis from out-of-state? Isn’t the local Nazi market flooded enough?

        • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

          Maybe there’s some kind of nazi exchange program?

          • Rocket Pony Ron

            Can we exchange them for decent people?

      • SeeTrain65

        They must have made up about half of Spencer’s crowd.

        • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

          Hah. Lots of assholes with Spencer playing the part of the hemorrhoid.

        • Rocket Pony Ron

          Then who were the other three guys?

          • SeeTrain65

            Spencer, Cameron Padgett (aka The Douchebag that tried to troll the bar), and Andrew Anglin, in drag.

      • SweetDeeKat

        And now they won’t be coming back. GOOD.

    • laughingnome

      Was they standin their ground?

    • Impatient

      I feel SO much better now that the FBI is carefully monitoring “the blacks.” Sigh. But I guess they’d have to be careful to avoid asking their agents to investigate their own right wing hate groups. Would be an FBI conflict of interest?

      • H0mer0

        [so much scary plausibility–like we won’t get to the bottom of the Russia thing when there is a “R” involved ]

    • YayConspiracy

      Where are their fathers?

      • Carole

        You mean their uncles?

        • YayConspiracy

          The family lines are very blurry.

    • SeeTrain65

      (d) Will the NRA wait the customary two weeks for the story to die down before they speak, just like they do after every shooting?

  • Ms.MLG on Maui

    His jokes fall flat because assholes aren’t funny unless you are laughing AT them.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Say, you know who else wanted to talk about an arcane matter?

    • Major_Major_Major

      Mustrum Ridcully?

    • Daniel

      Aleister Crowley?

    • Crank Tango

      Indiana Jones?

    • weighmaster

      Herodotus?

    • Oblios_Cap

      Dumbledore?

    • jesterpunk

      Raistlin Majere?

    • SeeTrain65

      Dan Brown?

    • Three Finger Salute

      The arcane trivia nerds on Wait! Wait! Don’t Tell Me! ?

      • SeeTrain65

        Charlie Pierce libelz!

    • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

      Whales?

    • ImGoingBacon

      the character you created in Skyrim?

    • vivian

      Tom Hanks? (Sorry, I hab a cold)

    • laughingnome

      That odd guy waiting in line at the 7-11 this morning?

      • puredog

        This is meta-redundant.

    • SeeTrain65

      Fred, Daphne, Velma, Shaggy and Scooby?

    • Carole

      Ken Ham?

    • Red Richmond

      Gandalf the Gray?

  • Blackest Noobs

    incompetence ( Trump) breeds more incomptetence ( Gorsuch).

    this is why you should elect the most qualified person, not the dick fucker who blows the dog whistle of your racisty bigoty hearts.

    • Trip Space-Parasite

      I always heard it as “First-rate people hire other first-rate people. Second-rate people hire third-rate people.” So that makes Gorsuch something like ninth-rate.

  • Gee, Your Hair Smells Horrific

    Wow, his jokes left the courtroom colder than a trucker left to freeze to death in his cab (TransAm Trucking v Department of Labor).
    HA HA! Right? Anyone?

    • Shanzgood

      Good one!

      • Gee, Your Hair Smells Horrific

        Thanks?

    • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

      Ice Road Truckers libel.

    • SeeTrain65

      He’s a riot. And might even cause a few, too.

    • Resistance Ftr PuckStopsHere

      Hey, oh! [rimshot]

    • I’m typing the waitstaff, but I don’t know if I can take another one of those.

  • alpacapunchbowl

    Oh, this is just delicious.

  • Blackest Noobs

    too funny cuz all the Justices, despite their differences, liked Scalia.
    Gorsuch….eh, not so much.

    • ImGoingBacon

      This^^^^ Scalia and Notorious RBG were besties. Two very different lawsplainers, but pals. I can see RBG doing the AC360 eye roll anytime Gorsuch enters the room, because he ain’t no Scalia.

    • AnnieGetYerFun

      That’s so weird to me! He seemed like such a horrible person.

    • laughingnome

      Too bad Trump didn’t just nominate dead Scalia to the vacancy.

  • sarahjane1912

    Snigger. Doesn’t the newbie know that you just can’t bring your own particular brand of funny to the party unless people like you? And they’ll never like you?

    Dear SC: Please give Gorfuck an atomic wedgie and instagram it next session. Ta.

  • Anna Elizabeth

    OT – The decision was Fried Eggs with Sriacha and Toast, because I need to use up some bread.

    I appreciate all the suggestions, all will be taken soon. :)

  • BigCSouthside

    The Federalist Society basically breeds these motherfuckers in a lab.

    We need to hold congress for a generation just to keep them from infecting the courts

    • yyyaz

      That horse has already fled the burning barn.

  • Moebym of the Returners

    OT: A fucking idiot on Facebook accused Rep. Wilson of listening in on the call because she’s a Dem who wants to impeach Trump.

    And not because, you know, the mother wanted her there due to her being a close family friend…

    • SeeTrain65

      Use the correct term: “Fucking Moron.”

      Unless it wasn’t Trump. … Oh, well. Doesn’t matter. It fits anyway. ; )

    • vivian

      I think that should be their new slogan:
      “Use Facebook; hate people”

  • Good_Gawd_Yall

    I have a question for the lawyers among us: If it’s proven that Dolt 45 collaborated with the Russians, and he is removed from office, can Gorsuck’s appointment be overturned on the grounds that it was made by an illegitimate pretender to the office of the Presidency?

    • vivian

      “… on the grounds that it was made by an illegitimate pretender to the office of the Presidency a Russian stooge?”

      FIFY

    • guppy06

      The states certified the Electoral Colleges’ votes and Congress signed off on it. Donald Trump is legitimately, constitutionally the POTUS.

      • willi0000000

        no . . . he’s the potus*

    • WIDTAP

      No. Before you ask, same with his Executive Orders. …and there is no do-over election either. Pence becomes acting President.

      If that bothers you, then maybe next time go a little easier on the purity tests when your favorite primary candidate doesn’t get the nomination, and maybe work a little harder at building a broader coalition, including the flyover States.

    • OrdinaryJoe

      No. But he could be impeached. These clowns think they can get away with everything yet they always get caught with their stinking claws in the cooking jar. If there were D majorities in both chambers of Congress and a sufficiently pissed off electorate, who knows what would come of his lies.

  • BadKitty904

    The Judicial Branch is the last remaining semi-functioning branch of our federal government. It is current the sole support of rule-of-law in our nation and last defense of American democracy. It all ALL that stands between us and an absolute Russo-Republican dictatorship.

    The GOP and it’s owners are just licking their fangs, waiting for a Supreme Court vacancy, which is not an “if”, but a “when”. If we don’t stop them now, the Republican$ will pack the SCOTUS with scum like Scalia and this nightmare will never end in our lifetimes.

    • LesBontemps

      Scalia was a dick, but he wasn’t scum. Gorsuch is a dick and mat also be scum.

    • Impatient

      And they’re packing the rest of the federal judiciary too. Even if they’re not moved into more prominent positions, this seems kinda like inviting a rival gang into a West Side dance. Won’t end well, cause this ain’t no musical.

    • yyyaz

      I’m all for stopping them, BK, but the ratfucking for the past 36 years has now assured that however many years we have left will be at the will and pleasure of the permanent Republicunt “majority.” The point of no return to being a functioning democracy is already in our rear-view mirror.

      • BadKitty904

        So, Canada, then?

        • Historicat

          You’re young enough that you might see things on the upswing again, if you manage to hold on to your health.

          • BadKitty904

            But do we want to raise our children in this environment?

          • Historicat

            Well, no but I’m afraid it’s too late; at least for me.

          • BadKitty904

            Ugh. We’re just beginning to discuss the matter, so it’s a thought MUCH on our minds.

      • Cranky Man

        I’ll add you to the 10 million mammals siege of DC.

  • Blackest Noobs

    O/T: The Today show today

    they were discussing new lingo into the lexicon, the word submarining.
    i kinda knew what they were talking about but didn’t really fucking cared, just thought, oh another word for people who are fucking pussies.

    it called being a fucking pussy. a fucking coward if you prefer another word.
    inconsiderate is another word that comes to mind.

    i personally have never ever ghosted anyone, submarined anyone, or just be such a cowardly weenie in dating, or in life in general.

    • Impatient

      Damn! You we coulda had [cute felines] onboard while we submarined-ed? Who knewt?

  • OrG

    An asshole AND stupid.
    Only the best people.

    • SeeTrain65

      Nominated by a stupid asshole.

      It’s a set.

  • bubbuhh

    Stoopit peeps in government generally think other stoopit peeps are the shit as long as teh latter mouth teh correct slogans(or joke dicks). Gorsuch is a third rate mind. He was nominated cuz even second rate minds are “too liberal” for GOPee idiots takin teh Koch Bros dicks in their mouths.

  • Villago Delenda Est

    This foul creature, like all Donald appointees, should be forced to resign once Donald is Impeached and later convicted of felonies.

    • puredog

      “Wouldn’t it be pretty to think so.” — E. Hemingway

  • Meccalopolis

    impeach trump impeach gorsuch

    • SeeTrain65

      “Impeach ‘Em All.”

      • puredog

        Reminds me once again of the bumperstickers that sprouted all over Seattle after Nixon was impeached that said, in large letters, “IMPEACH FORD” and, in smaller letters, that they were promulgated by the “Why Stop Now Committee.”

    • Blackest Noobs

      sure…good wishful thinking…it won’t happen but nice thought….even with a Dems run Congress….just don’t see it happening ever.

  • willi0000000

    c’mon . . . the guys initials are ng . . . does he have to change his middle name from “McGill” to Fred?

  • Shrieking Harpy

    Wait, what? Gorsuch is an originalist AND also thinks the Constitution is “arcane matter”?

    • Garbageman

      I think that was allegedly a joke . . . but it didn’t go over very well . . .

      • puredog

        More bad conservative standup.

  • Claire

    I live for stories of the other justices shading Gorusch. When you’re such a white conservative mansplainer that even Roberts, Alito, and Thomas can’t stand sitting in a room with you, you’ve achieved something.

  • Garbageman

    Unfortunately, Gorsuch is 50 years old and probably will serve on the court for a long time. And it’s already predicted he’ll be even more hard-right than Scalia . . .

  • Donkey Option

    Nina Totenberg is a treasure. I love her so much. And so snarky and able to throw shade with the greatest ease.

    • Rebel Scum with permit

      And when Nina throws shade, you know it’s gonna be good. She wouldn’t jeopardize her relationship with the Supremes over nothing

  • Boojum

    Nina’s sister is a federal judge here in Atlanta.

    • LadyLaz

      No shit. Is Amy Totenburg her sister?

      • Boojum

        Yes.

        • LadyLaz

          You’d think I’d know that having been in front of Judge Totenburg not even a month ago

          • Boojum

            She is a friend. Shhhhh. Don’t tell.

  • Blackest Noobs
  • Shibusa

    I’ll bet the secret ingredient in Gorsuch’s steak rub is canned clams.

    • OrdinaryJoe

      No. It’s bullshit.

      • alpacapunchbowl

        That’s no secret.

    • Snark Tank Full of Resistance

      That MONSTER!

    • JustDon’tSayConfabulation

      Or whirled peas, maybe?

    • Mehmeisterjr

      Worse. Crumbled Cheez-Its.

  • OrdinaryJoe

    He has always been a legend in his own mind about the quality of his mind and an intellectually bully.

  • Rebel Scum with permit

    After a quarter century of middle management, I know this guy. The new little twerp who believes that it’s part of his job description to show everyone else how smart he is. Ususally, their peers would put them in their place, or they would grow frustrated and move on. Not sure the Supremes can work that way.

    • HazooToo

      I sincerely hope one of them drags him, reads him for filth, in an unambiguous fashion

      • OrdinaryJoe

        Been there seen that. The total tool who thinks he is the smartest guy in the room and doesn’t realize they are laughing at him not with him. Usually he is the son of the owner.

        • Mehmeisterjr

          The owner, in this case, being Putin, whether he knows it or not.

    • The David Brent of SCOTUS.

    • puredog

      When there is a newer S Ct justice, and the court votes to nonetheless continue to require Gorsuch to fetch the coffee and answer the door, the message may come through.

  • Covfefe

    I don’t think Ms Totenberg is saying Gorsuch is a moron, just in over his head, but without the insight possessed by Justice Thomas.

    • Rebel Scum with permit

      He strikes, me as an immature garden variety know it all.

      • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

        My late beloved cool aunt called them sexual intellectuals, it took me a minute to realize she meant fucking-know-it-alls.

    • OrdinaryJoe

      No, I read it to be her saying he is a moron.

    • Red Bird

      Either way he should never have been nominated let alone confirmed.

    • puredog

      Please expand: What is “the insight possessed by Justice Thomas”?

      • TakingAmes

        He generally keeps his mouth shut.

  • OrdinaryJoe

    Fixing the SCOTUS is hard but it can be done by the ballot. Get a Dem House and Senate and a Dem President, Congress passes a bill to increase the number of Judges to 11 (something that is not unreasonable given the annual report of the CJ that cries crocodile tears over how overworked they are) and a Dem Prez appoints two new judges.

    • HazooToo

      That sounds reasonable, and yet they would never do it.

      • Aaron_000

        The current republicans would if they think of it.

    • Rebel Scum with permit

      Did not work in Roosevelt’s time, although he took it farther

      • OrdinaryJoe

        What FDR tried was different. He was trying to force judges to retire, something that violates the life tenure protection.

        • Mehmeisterjr

          Uh, well, no, not exactly.

          Roosevelt proposed to change the Judiciary Act of 1869 to allow him to appoint additional Justices.

          This laid a huge egg in Congress, even among Democrats, although almost everybody, including his Supreme Court colleagues wished that McReynolds would fall off of a tall building with votes.

          Gorsuch seems to be channeling McReynolds. Arrogant, personally unpleasant, obtuse and wrong.

          • Tovarish Z

            Yes, but the Supreme Court got the message and did not strike down any more New Deal legislation.

          • OrdinaryJoe

            Roosevelt proposed that he be allowed to appoint additional Justices, to a
            maximum of six new members, for every member of the court over the age of 70 years
            and 6 months. It meant that if the older justices retired, he would not be able to appoint more judges. That was a clear attack on the life tenure concept of Article III.

  • Kurt Weil

    There’s always head cancer. *wishes head cancer on Gorsuch*

    • An Outhouse for the résistance

      I’d vote for that.

  • whitroth

    Look at that pic. Isn’t it obvious, Wonkette and Wonketteers? He’s a Judgebot! We need to hack into him, and change his programming!

  • Mavenmaven

    He’ll be remembered as the Trump era justice, meaning a prevaricating incompetent.

    • Rocket Pony Ron

      He’s doing his best to earn that ‘honour.’

  • Electric Ukulele Land

    Tough room…tough room…

    • An Outhouse for the résistance

      A little levity to ease the tension in a hectic work place. What is their problem?

      • kareemachan

        Show me the levity and I’ll laugh. This is the epitome of nice repug “humor”. As opposed to nasty, racist, homophobic, misogynistic repug “humor”.

  • Opiwan

    Using ketchup in chocolate cake gives a whole new meaning to red velvet.

    I think I’m gonna hurl

  • Poly_Ester

    Will Gorsuch’s vapidity force Justice Thomas to break his vow of silence?

    • rielly

      Hope not, better to remain silent and be thought a fool than speak out and remove all doubt.

  • Bitter Scribe

    Apparently for this guy the most advanced form of constitutional scholarship is Fox & Friends.

    • MOG253

      Didn’t Trump U have a course with a pop up book?

    • Heritage foundation. All these assholes they are trying to foist on the courts are hand picked by the Heritage foundation. Probably have for profit law degrees so their chums can claim such and such justice went here

    • Maybe

      Or possibly his own rear end. It works for a lot of other Repub ‘leadership’ types.

  • armed_bears

    Just as an aside, I LOOOOVE Nina Totenberg. If Wonkette had existed 20 years ago, she’d have been there.

    • And i love that she sings and has a family Stradivarius

      • armed_bears

        I did not know that.

        • LadyLaz

          Her father was a world class violinist

      • House0fTheBlueLights

        That was lost for decades!

  • House0fTheBlueLights

    It’s always fun to read Nina Totenberg’s articles in Nina Totenberg’s voice.

  • calliecallie

    BLT with no tomatoes? Is it Bacon, Lettuce and Tumeric?

    • unionthuggery

      Bacon, Lettuce, and Totalitarianism.

      • H0mer0

        “would you like a drink before or after the war– I mean dinner?”

  • Zyxomma

    Thanks, $5F. I read about this yesterday, and hoped you’d weigh in.

  • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

    I love Wonksplained courtroom transcripts!

  • Maybe

    I don’t know if Gorsuch is enough to turn John Roberts liberal, but what the Repubs in power are doing to the country should give Roberts second thoughts about whether he want to be an accomplice to voter suppression and gerrymandering.

    • Autismmomx4

      It’s he Roberts court. He isn’t going to have his legacy tarnished.

      • Maybe

        I think that is important to him, but current Justices are political animals. That’s in large part how they get their jobs. Historically there have been instances of Justices growing into their jobs, but that doesn’t happen so much in our modern, polarized times.

        He did have a good (though conservative) reputation when nominated and he is reputedly very intelligent. What might sway him is the continual attacks on the rule of law by Trump and the Repub leadership in general.

        We can hope.

        Of course, he is only one of nine. If Trump gets to pick more Justices Robert’s views may not matter much.

    • What the Repube’s are doing to this country. Don’t get me started, man. Oh shit! That’s my string and it’s done been pulled! https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/d82a10c6b43831992e0d3e5f7f804924bd7977a6276eac01c27e0a867a3dfcfc.jpg

  • Nasty Girl Brianna

    If I was on that bench, every time Gorsuch makes one of his lame jokes I’d cough “stolen seat” under my breath.

    Every. Single. Time.

    • puredog

      If the Supreme Court has one overriding tradition, it is collegiality. I hope Gorsuch doesn’t ruin that.

  • Rachel Book Harlot

    The problem is Gorsuxs is just supposed to sit and look pretty and vote the way his overlords paid him to, but he’s also a very dumb man who is convinced in his own greatness. In short, Gorsuxs is what a dumb person believes a smart person looks like.

  • Dept. of Space Tacos

    “Well, where did we get one person on vote from then?”

    Gah! This brilliant quip ruined by a typo – one person ONE vote.

    (Just trying to help!)

    • H0mer0

      [thanks. I know she’s way out of my league with regard to law, I mean, out of my league with most everything, but I thought I was at least a little S-M-R-T enough to understand my fellow wonkettes’ bon mot]

    • Fivedollarfeminist

      Ouch. Tough room! (Thanks, Tacos!)

  • Mike

    We should impeach Gorsuch right after Trump and Pence…

    • randoracer

      I always thought that, after months of Mitch McConnell’s refusal to consider the eminently qualified Merrick Garland’s nomination, President Obama should have just sent him to the Supreme Court chambers with a note saying: “In the absence of the Senate’s advice and consent and at the direction of the president, I am here to be seated.” Let the Supremes argue it out. I think they might actually have seated him, given his qualifications.

      • Worth a try. The Constitution is silent on a lot of things like what to do if an election has been shown to be corrupted and dishonest or one person one vote or the division between church and state and a well regulated fucking militia.

      • laineypc

        Sounds like something we’d pillory Trump for if he tried it, and he would if he thought the situation warranted it. Only with someone worse than Gorsuch.

  • Biel_ze_Bubba

    He’s not all that bright . . . and on the Supreme Court, that makes you stick out like a sore thumb.
    This is the star of the Federalist list of conservatard judges – imagine the dipshits being appointed to the lower courts.

    • That’s why Clarence Thomas don’t say much.

  • Joe Monte

    They needed someone on the Court that makes Clarence Thomas seem funnier.

    https://cdn1.ijr.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/02/supreme_court_justice_clarence_thomas.jpg

    • Peripatetic Poltroon

      Maybe Thomas can leave some pubic hairs on Gorsuch’s coke. That would be hi-larious.

  • Seriously, who forgot the fucking Supreme Court when they decided to stay home from the polls last November? Who? Not only was the seat stolen in the most egregious way possible, we fucking handed it to the Ol’ Pussy Grabber when we were all like, “Oooh, I don’t know, it’s HILLARY after all.” Fuck those people. Just fuck them. I hope every fucking one of them is happy as little canned clams as we watch all of our rights and hard fought victories flushed down the shitter as the Ol’ Pussy Grabber appoints more Supreme Court justices. Just fuck those people.

    • 28 Percent

      On January 20, 2021, Justice Stevens will be 81, Justice Kennedy will be 84 and Justice Ginsburg will be 87. Please let them all make it that long, or else we’ll be talking about Clarence Thomas as the SCOTUS swing vote for the next decade.

      • puredog

        “Justice Stevens”? I think not.

    • Maybe

      I’ve never quite understood why people didn’t vote for Clinton. We only had two feasible candidates and Trump was the other one. I’ve seen a lot of posts where people seem to be proud of their non-vote for Clinton even though they despise Trump.

      I think what those people did was the election version of Russian Roulette. The upside is apparently some minor ego satisfaction. The downside was President Trump, America’s own bullet in the brain. America just won a Darwin Award.

      • Exactly! In a system where there are only two viable candidates, any vote for a candidate other than the loser, helps the winner win. Any progressive-liberal type who thinks a 7-2 conservative split on SCOTUS is not (a) there for a generation and (b) will undo the last 80 years of progressive victories is engaging in a degree of cognitive dissonance that is verging on fatal. It is absolute idiocy to have voted for anyone but Clinton if you are progressive-liberal-Democratic. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/b49678a4b1a2e140d72f3fe0030a350f2f64bc77aeb687a1ddf642562cbbb4af.jpg

    • Christopher Smith

      You are a total stud and one of my heroes. :D

  • Marc Berrenson

    Let’s face it, hard as that is… Many, perhaps most, Americans who voted in the last presidential election are stupid and short sighted. Friends and relatives I’ve never been critical of, I now refuse to see. Just thinking of them causes me to pull out the bottle of Bombay and run to spew out a comment or two on this site. Both the gin and this site are therapeutic, but, sadly, not therapeutic enough. I find myself waking pretty much every morning, hoping that by the end of the day, I’ll be stopped in the street by some stranger who’ll yell: “Hey, have you heard the news? Trump and Pence and Ryan, and McConnell, and Bannon, and Gorsuch, and the Mercers, and the Heritage Foundation and Fox News no longer exist!. They’ve been blown out of existence.”

    Now, how likely is that to happen? (Only in my temporary imagination. There aren’t enough martinis in this world to make me believe that will happen). We’re fucked. And we have our fellow citizens to blame. Dumbasses! The “liberal media” reminds us almost daily of the latest Trumpian alt-right evil shit (and that, in the past, was enough to cause elected politicians to disappear from view). But today there is no such thing as political shame. No politician thinks twice about being the poster boy for rabid political and moral hypocrisy. In fact, hypocrisy seems to be a requirement these days for getting re-elected.

    And who is to blame?
    You got it…

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