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How embarrassing.

America, we have just witnessed something truly disgusting. General John Kelly, Donald Trump’s chief of staff, whose son’s death Donald Trump politicized this week when he doubled down on his bullshit lie that Presidents Obama and Bush never called families of fallen troops, walked up to the podium in the White House briefing room and threw himself on Donald Fucking Trump’s sword, essentially taking all responsibility for the giant fuck-up that happened when the child president called the families of troops killed in Niger. In so doing, he stabbed his own credibility to death.

Here’s video. Kelly starts about 35 minutes in.

It started nicely enough. Kelly told the reporters what actually happens when a soldier dies — what happens to the body, how it’s transported, the protocol for notifying the family. Here’s a transcript of that:

Kelly then said he recommended Donald Trump not call families of the fallen. (And he obviously shouldn’t.) He said he told Trump that Barack Obama didn’t call his family when his son died, but that he didn’t mean it as a criticism, just stating a fact that not all presidents call all families every time a soldier dies. Trump, of course, decided to politicize the issue, by using that information to shit on Barack Obama at a press conference.

Kelly said he coached Donald Trump on what to say, and he made sure to emphasize that HE told Trump to tell Myeshia Johnson, the wife of Army Sgt. La David T. Johnson, that her husband “knew what he was signing up for.” Some transcript:

He called four people the other day and expressed his condolences in the best way he could. And he said to me, “What do I say?” […] Let me tell you what I tell them. […] “He was doing exactly what he wanted to do when he was killed. He knew what he was getting into by joining [the military]. He knew what the possibilities were, because we’re at war. And when he died … he was surrounded by the best men on this earth, his friends.” That’s what the president tried to say to … the four families the other day.

Well hell, it sounds better when John Kelly says it, but that doesn’t change the fact that Trump obviously delivered those words to Myeshia Johnson without feeling or compassion. Indeed, Congresswoman Frederica Wilson said it came across as “almost like joking.”

THEN Kelly put on his best Donald Trump Rage Twitter face and attacked Frederica Wilson. Oh holy shit, this is fucked up:

I was stunned when I came to work yesterday morning, and broken-hearted, at what I saw a member of Congress doing. A member of Congress who listened in on a phone call from the president of the United States to a young wife. […] He knew what he was getting into, because he enlisted. […] That was the message … that was transmitted.

It STUNS me that a member of Congress would have listened in on that conversation. Absolutely stuns me. And I thought AT LEAST that was sacred.

FAKE NEWS, John Kelly, but Congresswoman Wilson had mentored Sgt. Johnson for YEARS and it was the family that put the phone on speaker. THEY WERE RIDING IN THE CAR TOGETHER TO RECEIVE HIS BODY.

It gets worse.

Kelly then lamented all the things that aren’t sacred anymore, apparently because Rep. Frederica Wilson “politicized” the issue by saying the president had hurt this family.

When I was a kid growing up, a lot of things were sacred in our country. Women were sacred, looked upon with great honor. That’s obviously not the case anymore, as we see from recent cases.

OH LIKE MAYBE THE CASE OF DONALD “GRAB THEM BY THE PUSSY” TRUMP, YOUR FUCKING BOSS? IS THAT WHAT YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT, GENERAL?

Gold Star families, I think [the sacredness of those families] left at the convention over the summer.

Which convention, John Kelly? Was it when at the Democratic Convention, a Gold Star family that happens to be Muslim spoke out against DONALD “MUSLIM BAN” TRUMP and asked if their son, who gave his life for this country, would even be welcome in Donald Trump’s America? And then Donald Fucking Trump proceeded to ATTACK THAT FAMILY FOR DAYS ON END, because their comments got under his pussy thin skin? Was it Khizr and Ghazala Khan who took away the “sacredness” of Gold Star families, or was it YOUR FUCKING BOSS, GENERAL?

Kelly said when he heard what Congresswoman Wilson was saying on TV, he was so upset he had to go to Arlington National Cemetery to collect his thoughts, because this is all her fault, and not Donald Trump’s fault. Indeed, Kelly said the sacredness of our troops dying in war “eroded a great deal yesterday” because of the “selfish behavior of a member of Congress.”

Never mind that the family straight-up confirmed that Donald Trump had disrespected them and hurt them, just as the congresswoman said. Never mind that Donald Trump was the one who took a giant shit all over those families, by lying and saying Barack Obama and other presidents weren’t near as tremendously wonderful to the families of the fallen as he is. Never mind that Donald Trump spent a month of his presidential campaign shitting on another Gold Star family.

At the end, Kelly only took questions from journalists who had met a Gold Star family before, because that’s how a free press works.

Go fuck yourself, John Kelly. We still respect your service and the sacrifice your family made, but our respect for you as a human just took a nosedive.

And that makes us very sad.

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  • Bill D. Burger

    Kelly has shown once and for all that any integrity or honor he had was obliterated the day he said ‘yes’ to the Fucking Moron.

    BTW: Get ready for a Tweetler shitstorm from The Fucking Moron of monumental proportions as Bamz’, the Fucking Moron’s Grand Obsession, goes on the campaign trail in New Jersey and Virginia.

    • I’ve been waiting for this all day.

    • Suttree

      oooh, Bamz is coming to Jersey?! When and where?

  • Jeffocaster in the West

    Fuck You Generalissimo. Defending that fuckface creep of a shitbag is inexcusable. No pride, no sense of what’s right. Fuck you and all your cohorts. And I am sorry for your loss and your son who was serving this country for all of us.

    • Persistent Demme

      SQUIRREL!!
      (SON USED SHAMEFULLY!!)

  • Joe Beese

    Completely predictable. Everyone who works for Trump ends up disgraced.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Trump is the universal solvent. There is no way to contain him without the taint getting all over/through you.

      • DainBramage

        Trump is like the Mule in Asimov’s Foundation series. He’s able to “adjust” the thinking of people around him in the most disgusting ways.

        • Roadstergal

          If only he were sterile, as well. :/

      • Opalescent Riddles

        DMSO libelz!

  • dslindc

    The best people! So much winning!

  • Msgr_MΩment

    A member of Congress who listened in on a phone call from the president of the United States to a young wife.

    .because she was comforting the widow. She was THERE for her, unlike certain people in the White House that day.

    Asshole.

    • Darrell Imaginarian

      It makes so little sense. She was in the car and the wife put the whole thing on speakerphone because…. it was the President!

  • chiefkurtz

    Ah well, it’s not like he shot a guy in the face on a hunting trip, and then got the guy to apologize to him for doing it.

    • Bill D. Burger

      Now, now…..Darth Cheenee’ did lose that pheasant he tried to murderize’ when Whittington got in his way.

      HE was the victim!

    • Rocket Pony Ron

      I’m almost nostalgic for evil that didn’t hide behind debased language but declared itself openly and proudly.

  • Indiepalin

    And all evening long he was on her and off her

  • WotsAllThisThen

    And then the babysitter screamed, “The toddler is right, he isn’t tired and shouldn’t have to take a nap!”

    • calliecallie

      And then the murders began.

  • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

    Kelly then lamented all the things that aren’t sacred anymore

    You mean like expecting people to behave with just a smidgen of decency or honor?

    You walked into this, sir. And all those shiny stars and medals you used to wear are now forever blemished because you would rather cling to power than do the honorable thing.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      It’s all good. He knew what he was in for when he signed up.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      The honorable thing was to say: “I can’t do this and live with myself. I resign.”

  • Villago Delenda Est

    Kelly has just tossed whatever honor he once had out the window for a draft-dodging cheeto-faced coward.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      Yup- just lost all respect for him- he went over to the dark side and is now forever tainted

    • armed_bears

      It is possible he views himself doing something more important than maintaining personal regard. He has said many times he views his job as the most important he has ever held… and I believe he is willing to pay a price now in reputation to stay close to the draft-dodging cheeto-faced coward .

      Chief of staff is not a 25th amendment office, so to him I say “thank you for being there.” I respect him for staying in a terrible position for the nation’s benefit.

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        I used to think that too, but he didn’t need to shit all over Wilson or shit on the Khan family to do that. He blew it IMHO

  • Vincent Ricola

    The good one. The one keeping us from WW3. The White House babysitter. The guy who most of America expects to save us from ultimate destruction. We’re doomed.

  • OrG

    So, there’s a pee-hooker tape of Kelly too?

    • Bill D. Burger

      If urine luck, there IS! ___ Don’t pee puns piss you off?

      • calliecallie

        They’re all wet.

  • WotsAllThisThen

    So what if Trump goes for the nuclear button? Does Kelly tackle the nearest Congresswoman?

  • bbayliss

    Some insight from Brian Beutler?
    “Lumping the methods of Trump apologists into the same critical framework as “classic politics” creates a parity between agitprop and honest discourse that propagandists will exploit until most people can’t tell the difference.”
    https://crooked.com/article/seeds-meda-sabotage-trump-bannon-hannity/

    • Rocket Pony Ron

      A third of the country is already there, and has been for a while now.

  • Biel_ze_Bubba

    “He called four people the other day and expressed his condolences in the best way he could.”

    Therein lies the problem.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      It’s impossible for a president who has never served… except for ALL THE OTHER PRESIDENTS

  • Michael R
    • Bill D. Burger

      NIGERGHAZEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! __ or Nigergate?

      • Good_Gawd_Yall

        I’m thinking we should go with something like Ghazigate, to avoid the problem of the reichwing’s unavoidable “mistaken” mispronunciations of Niger.

        • Rags

          I was amused to find that the bird food in my local grocery store is now labeled “Nyjer” seed, not Niger seed, likely for that very reason.

    • armed_bears

      There’s a Trump tweet for everything.

      Really? If so, I have a blister on my ass he can deal with.

  • WotsAllThisThen

    As long as you’re at that podium, General, tell us how big was the crowd at Trump’s inauguration?

  • Thiazin Red

    So we’ve entered the stage of every Trump thing where they can’t deny that it happened anymore, and are instead saying it happened but its not a big deal and not Trump’s fault anyway.

    • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

      And someone else’s behavior is much worse.

    • suziq

      But he did deny he said that. Of course he tells every side of every story so he can say he was right. Because he is always right.

    • Stulexington

      And shame on you for reporting something that was suppose to be private and sacred for the family that handed you the information and asked you to report it.

  • WiscoJoe

    I can’t tell if this was a ludicrously incompetent attempt at trying to put this damaging story to rest or if it’s a masterful attempt to escalate this story even further in order to divide/distract/desensitize. Also, I can’t tell why these gaslights keep turning on and off with no one touching them.

  • Has Sideye Sarah dropped the Hucklefuck from her nom de fume now or what? Because I’m sure as shit not gonna forget about her hateful, guitar twangin’ daddy.

  • therblig

    i guess when he took off the uniform, the honor went with it.

  • Darrell Imaginarian

    His coaching seemed a little weak. Ok Trumpo. You have to learn the name of the dead soldier, and the name of the next of kin you are talking to, and use them both in the conversation. No “your guy” or “that woman”.

    • Suttree

      Too much effort!

  • Skwerl the Nazi Puncher

    When I was a kid growing up, a lot of things were sacred in our country. Women were sacred, looked upon with great honor.

    Whenever I hear this I think of prize hogs at the State Fair. Rather than being people and accepted at face value, women are somehow mysterious a reflection of how much slop you feed them and care you give them your manliness.

    • Thiazin Red

      Being put on a pedestal =/= being respected. Kind of the opposite. I wish sexist dudes could get this through their heads.

  • Suttree

    And we are back to absolutely zero people in this administration that deserve any respect at all.

    • Bill D. Burger

      You’re obviously required to shed that and leave it at the door….along with you honor, self respect, sense of decency…..ad infinitum…..as you enter the door of this White House.

  • Thiazin Red

    It still sounds pretty victim blamey when Kelly says it too. Its true, but not really appropriate.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      NOBODY would think it’s a good idea to say that on that phone call to the widow

      • clubseal

        … except Donald J. Trump.

    • Proud Liberal

      John Soltz of VoteVets said soldiers don’t join the military thinking they are going to die. He said they join because they want to protect the people of the United States from enemies foreign and domestic. I tend to agree with his assessment.

      • bbayliss

        1 in 5,000 KIA

        • Proud Liberal

          Exactly. John Kelly really fucked himself on this one.

          • WotsAllThisThen

            He’s projecting. He’s standing at a podium, defending a fucking moron, and privately wishing he was KIA.

      • Thiazin Red

        Or they want the money for college, or it seems like a good career option when there aren’t many opportunities.

      • Ling Ling

        The recruiting brochures don’t emphasize horrible death or POW camps.

      • Rocket Pony Ron

        ‘No bastard ever won a war by dying for his country. You won it by making the other poor dumb bastard die for his country.’ – some other general

      • Meccalopolis

        I joined for the GI bill

    • “You dug your grave. Now go lay next to my son.”

    • Apple Scruff

      I’m wondering if he made up the whole scenario, to cover for Trump, and he did his best to make it not sound as terrible.

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      I’m sorry, but I don’t believe that they sign up *knowing* that. Being told a thing could happen and believing it are two different things, and especially for young people, which most recruits are, accepting that something you’re doing could actually get you killed is not something that’s easily done. My guess is they hear “Move your ass, recruit! This training will save your life someday!!! and they hear Charlie Brown’s teacher’s voice. “Wha-wah, wah-wah-wah-wah.”

      • Meccalopolis

        When I enlisted, I was pretty sure I was going to live forever

    • puredog

      It’s the kind of thing you MIGHT say, after you’d both had a couple of drinks, to the gruff ex-military dad of someone killed in combat. Maybe. Not to a widow or mother. And not in Trump’s voice or phrasing.

    • MrTusks

      I don’t know. I think the sentiment is that the solider went into this fully informed and would not regret his decision. That’s comforting in a certain way.

  • WotsAllThisThen

    When I was a kid growing up, a lot of things were sacred in our country. Women were sacred, looked upon with great honor.

    He then proceeded to insult and yell at a woman.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      and blame other Gold Star families for having political opinions

    • cmd resistor

      What was he even talking about?

      • Skwerl the Nazi Puncher
      • Zippy W Pinhead

        He was shamesplaining to us- about the good old days he imagined existed- God, guns, Murica. He apparently missed the part where his boss has been a serial woman abuser and the part where he swore an oath to the constitution, not the boy king. he aslo seems to have forgotten about the first amendment, seeing as how he attacked other Gold Star families for expressing their political opinions at the DNC convention and the fact that the first amendment also guarantees freedom FROM religion

        • cmd resistor

          You know I was giving him the benefit of the doubt, pissed at Trump and Sarah for trying to drag him into the vortex of hell but hoping he’d just keep his dignity by keeping his mouth shut. Oh well.

      • clubseal

        You know, back when women were so sacred that we couldn’t let the precious dears vote, or have careers…?

      • Rocket Pony Ron

        You couldn’t tell either? I thought it was just me.

    • mackafritz

      When were women sacred? I always thought they were equal.

    • Thiazin Red

      They just couldn’t get credit by themselves, being raped or beaten by your husband didn’t count, etc.

    • ariel_gee_398

      He meant white women.

    • King Beauregard

      He meant “scared”, not “sacred”. The good old days!

    • Jamoche

      Fuck being sacred. I’d rather be respected as an equal.

    • Opalescent Riddles

      And it seems he never once used her name. She was “this woman” or at best “congresswoman.”

  • Crystalclear12

    A moment of silence for John Kelly’s lost:
    Dignity
    Soul
    Self respect
    Independence ( because you know he whored himself on command of the shit gibbon)

    • wide_stance_hubby

      Goddamned mind also too

    • Covfefe’s Evil Twin

      Fuck Kelly and fuck everyone who isn’t working to get that orange shit stain removed from office.

  • These are the best nine months.

    • bbayliss

      Oh my god, you might be right.

      • Meccalopolis

        Scary thought

  • Zippy W Pinhead

    Why did General Kelly have to defend something that never happened? Donnie swore he had proof that he never said those things. Why is Kelly making excuses for something Donnie never said?

    • Proud Liberal

      Kelly blew that out of the water. :-)

    • Iam Reading

      Because whatever he did in the past, it is blatantly apparent that he has lost any sense of Integrity. Look at his behavior as DHS secretary.

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        He sold his soul to the cheeto king

    • puredog

      Oh, phffft, you and your logic again.

  • bubbuhh

    Why would a President call the father of a fallen soldier when that soldier has a wife?

    • Iam Reading

      Because, dipshit logic

  • Arolpin

    In true Trumpian fashion, he confuses the visit from the casualty officer and the condolence call from the President. Notice how he mentions that there will be three casualty officers if the servicemember is married and his parents are divorced, and then doesn’t clarify that this is very different than a condolence call, he insinuates that they are the same, to further the lie that Obama didn’t call families. I hope your soul was worth the 30 pieces of silver (assuming Drumpf actually pays).

    • Bill D. Burger

      He better get it up front. I’d trust the Pharisees more than the Fucking Moron.

    • Jeffocaster in the West

      That Fuck gets paid by the fucking taxes that us stupid heads fucking pay. FUCK HIM

  • Dept. of Space Tacos

    based on this reporting – sounded like it started great, but the rest could have gone better.

    I’m hoping teh first bit was the real Gen. Kelly and the last half was him “doing his duty” as he saw it.

  • Bill D. Burger

    Today is the day John Kelly became Mini Moron.

  • Zippy W Pinhead

    Donald Trump corrupts and ruins everything he touches, part eleventy billion

  • NotReallyHere

    Samantha needs to add Gen. Kelly to this list.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pBmiOJFiwWs

    • bbayliss

      “The taint never sleeps”

      • NotReallyHere

        Apparently not. I keep wondering how Trump keeps getting people to fall on their swords for him. What is he doing to them? Is he a sekrit hypnotist? Blackmail? Is he just really charismatic in person? I really don’t get it at all.

  • UncleTravelingMatt

    This is what I’ve been saying. Trump didn’t choose Kelly by accident. Authoritarians of a feather . . .

    • Mike Steele

      ICYMI: Kelly was sitting alongside Trump at USCG Academy graduation. When class presented Cheeto with a sword, Kelly nudged him and said, in effect, “you can use that on the press”. Left little doubt in our minds where he was coming from.

      • cmd resistor

        I remember that, back when he was the Homeland Security guy. And I thought, well, so much for him being one of the sane ones.

  • Iam Reading

    I don’t know why everybody was worshipping at the altar of John Kelly to begin with. Aside from his service to this country. Since he retired I haven’t really seen him do anything good.

    • Jamoche

      Clutching at straws – there’s so much idiocracy congealing around Trump, anything with half a brain cell looks like a lifeline. But really, if they aren’t idiots they’re complicit.

      • Iam Reading

        Precisely. None of these people are heroes. None of these people are looking out for us. This is a kakistocracy. Anyone in Trump’s Administration is an enemy

        • Zippy W Pinhead

          it was just hope that he’d hold tight the reins

          that hope is now completely gone

    • RMKH

      It was wishful thinking. Anybody seemed like an improvement on Priebus, Bannon, Scaramucci, Miller, etc. Hell, I wish Al Haig was available.

  • Asterix

    It took the asshole 14 days to call the family. And, 15 days on, the WH still isn’t discussing what happened.

  • WiscoJoe

    “Women were sacred.”

    Blessed be the fruit?

  • jesterpunk

    Donny did fine with the white family and even offered them $25k and to get his staff to set up a charity for them. For the blah family he told them “he knew what he signed up for”. So to claim he didnt know what to say is bullshit, he is just racist.

    • ariel_gee_398

      I think that’s the key difference between Shrub and Donnie. Shrub and his circle had no problem using racism to his political advantage, but I don’t think they themselves were racist fucks. Donnie’s a true believer.

    • cmd resistor

      I would be interested to find out, as these reporters dig up the families who were called and those who weren’t, how it all breaks down racially.

    • Meccalopolis

      The white guy admitted to voting for him

  • ariel_gee_398

    I’m more than a little worried about the judgment of a man who sees Donnie up close and personal every day and thought he could manage to deliver a nuanced message like that.

  • Today we are all Congresswoman Frederica Wilson.

    Long live Congresswoman Frederica Wilson!

  • Asterix

    And, I would like to know what planet Kelly grew up on… women sacred. He’s as delusional as the asshole he “serves”.

    • WiscoJoe

      Yeah, that’s a bizarre quote. Maybe he meant to say “silent” instead of “sacred.”

      • Good_Gawd_Yall

        THIS, eleventy billion times this!!

      • Tishalicious

        Oops, wrong thread *facepalm*

    • P’jama Pahnts

      “Women. They’re just like us™, only sacreder!”

    • RMKH

      The sanctity of women is honored in the breach. “My mother is sacred but just wait until I get someone’s daughter alone”.

    • Red Bird

      He meant to say scared but had a dyslexia moment.

  • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

    This Kelly is no hero.

    ETA: Crapgame’s run-in with an outhouse still has me LOLing. And I need LOL!s today.

    https://youtu.be/kgeIINs1TrQ

    • WotsAllThisThen

      Always with the negative waves Moriarty, always with the negative waves.

  • Bill D. Burger
    • Bub, the cynical zombie

      “You fellas don’t mind if I play through, do you? Oh, btw…thank you for your service, yadda, yadda, yada. *sotto voce* I prefer guys who don’t get killed …”

  • canes_pugnaces

    Kelly now has his very own official Trump matching kneepad and dental dam set (patent pending).

    • Meccalopolis

      Comes with orange lipstick

  • Bill D. Burger
  • P’jama Pahnts

    Maybe if Congresswom Wilson hadn’t been listening so seductively Trump would have managed to sound more human.

    • Daniel

      She left both her ears uncovered. What did she think would happen?

  • Bill D. Burger
    • Daniel

      “So, you’re single now…?”

    • puredog

      He’d be patting her a little lower.

  • hanadora444

    Well, this is the problem with too many military men. Even retired military men. Since Trump is the Commander in Chief (God, how it hurts to have to type that!) they see him as their commanding officer and act accordingly. It was always hard to believe that Kelly would ever be able to really ride herd on Trump.

    • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

      They weren’t that way with Obama, I can guarantee you. They all have man crushes on Trump. They see his model wives, extravagant lifestyle and golf courses and get huge hard-ons.

  • cmd resistor

    Here’s a shock. A FOX person got something right and said Trump opened the door to this whole mess on himself by answering the question about why he hadn’t addressed the issue of these guys dying and instead defending why he hadn’t called anyone yet and criticizing other presidents. http://thehill.com/homenews/media/356270-foxs-baier-trump-opened-the-door-to-fallen-soldiers-controversy

    • Suttree

      jesus fuck! When the craven assholes at fox are correcting you, you know you are a royal fucking jackass.

      • cmd resistor

        And I don’t think it’s even one of their token now and again liberals?

  • Bill D. Burger
  • IdRatherBeDancing

    This presser was pretty bad. Being stunned by bad what he thinks is bad behavior. As he met the asshole he works for? and apparently shamelessly defends?

  • Bill D. Burger
    • Ling Ling

      Look at this! She is talking about me! To me! Great ratings!

      • WotsAllThisThen

        She said some very nice things about me. But the the Democrats told her to be mean. Very unfair.

    • Daniel

      Gold star mother so pleased with Trump’s response she thinks I should relax and stop! Goal star loves Trump!

      Donald Trump 10/19/17

  • HellTotheNo

    Copied from comment about Alex Jones’s devil drag fantasy. “That he believes he is the only thing saving our democracy is a HUGE problem. And the calling on gold star adjacent first. Oldest military junta trick in the book– only those close to the military are real countrymen.”

  • bupkus231

    So much for Kelly being one of the “adults in the room”. If he’s willing to “normalize” dickhead Rump in this way, he is in no way an “adult in the room”. He’s just another sycophant who will do anything for the author of his humiliation.

    We’re supposed to rely on this guy to keep Rump’s finger off the button?

  • Mike Steele

    We watched the same speech and got precisely the same take as Evan. What started out as a moving tutorial on the methodology of military condolence went so far off the rails as to be unrecognizable. The coffee-spitting began when he started speaking of how women were once considered sacred, until…until…Okay, General – we’re waiting…

    • Persistent Demme

      Nothing about precious bodily fluids?
      (I didn’t see it.)

      • Mike Steele

        No, but Kelly also said that religion was once sacred, until…until…the day a Fony-Fundamentalist and a Fo’Shizzle Christo-fascist were elected? Then, he would only call upon reporters with a direct connection to a Gold Star family. Damn shame the Khan’s didn’t have a friend in that room…

  • Good_Gawd_Yall

    I didn’t lose any respect for Gen. Kelly because I didn’t have any to start with. He lost that as soon as he didn’t step into the VP’s office on his first day and say, “Start the 25th Amendment proceedings now, or I will tell the world that you’re secretly an atheist.”

    • janecita

      Thank you!

  • Michael Smith

    You what ELSE used to be sacred?

    • mackafritz

      Cows?

      • Daniel

        This administration is very pro-Wight.

    • Daniel

      Hitler?

      Wait, no, obviously, just that’s the normal…

      Hitler?

    • Suse

      Roy Rogers and Dale Evans?

    • WotsAllThisThen

      The old church where Ray and Alice served up a Thanksgiving dinner that couldn’t be beat?

      • Michael Smith

        They did make a great Thanksgiving dinner.

    • whitroth

      The Spanish Inquisition?

      • Michael Smith

        Wow, I wasn’t expecting that response.

        • SDGeoff3

          We know. No one does.

        • whitroth

          Noooone ever expects…

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      every sperm?

      • clubseal

        Not with as many as I’ve parted ways with.

      • wide_stance_hubby

        Even those spilled upon the dusty ground by heathens?

    • CripesAmighty

      Presidents Day Mattress Sale?

    • janecita

      Marriage? Until Adam and Steve turned us all ghey!

    • Suttree

      Cows?

  • I. really hope that this egregious piece of fuckery was only delivered to keep Dotard Donny Two Scoops from hiking the nuclear football because there is no other excuse for the verbal diarrhea extruding from Kelly’s pinhole.

  • clubseal

    I can hear all of us yelling Evan’s exact words at the screen while watching this press conference.

    • Darrell Imaginarian

      I could only watch for a few seconds. It was exceedingly gross.

  • Tishalicious

    I am ridiculously creeped out by the “phone calls are sacred” defense. So much like a cheater’s outraged shrieks of “How Dare you touch my cellphone or open mail that comes to our house?”

  • whitroth

    But he’s right, he knew what he was signing up for.

    Kelly, that is. And I’m glad he’s there to *try* to control that pyscho.

    I still won’t buy him that drink he’s going to have this evening. The one, to paraphrase Hawkeye from MASH, where he pours from the bottle into the glass, looks at the ice cube dispenser, looks at the bottle of mixer, and then drinks it straight.

  • Michael Smith

    When did women stop being sacred? Is it because they are speaking out against the pervasive culture of sexual abuse – a culture which a certain President of the United States has loudly proclaimed his enjoyment of and gleeful participation in?

    • whitroth

      Sorry, “women…sacred”? When, exactly, was that? Back a few thousand years ago, when at least some of them were priestesses?

      Certainly not in *this* country.

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        you know, back before they could run for office, or even vote. back when they were sexual objects who couldn’t be trusted because of their “monthly curse”

      • Suttree

        Nooooo. Everything used to be perfect in this country back in the 50’s. Or so I’ve heard from idiots who have no grasp of recent history.

        • whitroth

          Yeah, for some value of “everyone” and “perfect”. I was a little kid when the steel mill he’d worked at for years closed, and ran away to the South for cheap, non-union labor, and he was out of work for about three years.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      when? The moment they got uppity like those blah people and began complaining about the status quo

    • I’d rather have women be considered human, not ‘sacred’. No need to render them ‘others’.

      • Michael Smith

        Yeah, seriously his statement gives me the feeling that he meant women were sacred when they kept their mouths shut. That’s probably just in light of what we’ve been discussing today.

        • Zippy W Pinhead

          up on the shelf with all the other ornaments

    • Paperless Tiger

      When Trump started grabbing their pussies.

      • Suttree

        If they weren’t such whores, they wouldn’t haven’t allowed him do that.

  • RMKH

    tRump and his minions are like that entity on Star Trek TOS that thrived on conflict. Their goal, apparently, is to make everyone mad, either at them or at each other. And it’s working. Bastards.

  • Machnethylsteinerbincolabird

    And this, THIS is the guy that is the only thing standing between us and undeclared nuclear war.

    • puredog

      Well, it could just be Kelly choosing what hill he’s going to die on, and he decided this wasn’t it.

    • Pilotshark

      think that more than likely would fall under Gen. McMaster or Mattis.

  • Trump has a real knack for bringing down those who voluntarily associate themselves with him

    • Mike Steele

      (R) pundit and ‘NeverTrump’-er Rick Wilson had made a documentary entitled “ETTD” (Everything Trump Touches Dies”).

    • Persistent Demme

      It’s almost like he doubles down on the Trumpstink they will already have for the rest of their careers.

  • Scooby

    The only way he can redeem himself now is if he puts Donnies head through a plate glass window when he tries to launch a strike on North Korea.

    • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

      Kelly has such a crush on the man, he’d help him press the button.

  • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

    I’m sure Gen. K could easily kick my ass every which way and leave me a ragged mess.

    That having been said, Gen. K is nonetheless, a steaming twerp.

  • calliecallie

    I’m not buying Kelly’s bit about coaching Donald. If I were on his staff, I would have given him a goddam word-for-word script to use. They probably did that, but he didn’t use it, and now Kelly has to backwards engineer some coaching direction he might have given that Trump could have twisted into the stupid shit he said. Wow. Sad. Pathetic.

    • jesterpunk

      “Hey Donny, you know what you said to that white family? Say that to all families.” There done, now give me lots of money.

      • Paul

        You don’t get a penny. You still haven’t cashed all your Soros checks.

    • Suttree

      They forgot to drug him first. You can’t let him speak without countering his self-medication.

    • wide_stance_hubby

      The only way to coach him involves large amounts of cotton batting and even more duct tape.

    • cmd resistor

      If it was not Trump, I could have given him a pass for being awkward or inartful. But apparently his tone sucked, too. I read a couple of places that Rep. Wilson tried to speak to Trump as she was offended but some military person who was there (in the car? I think it was a limo) wouldn’t let her. I also saw a NYT comment that said he referred to Sgt. Johnson as “your guy,” which would line up with the widow saying he didn’t even remember his name. I had not actually read that anywhere else but it came from somewhere.

    • Pilotshark

      think only thing trump seen was the “he knew what he was getting into”, and to me the kicker, GUESS that still hurts.

      you F-ing Idiot of course IT HURTS! and it now Hurts even more, with your flip pen way.
      “You`er Guy”

      no a$$hole he was one of OUR GUYS! you know America! and you are suppose to be the CiC!

  • wide_stance_hubby

    Women stopped being sacred when they stopped being scared and that is not with the program.

  • Lurkylu

    what working for trump does to you. (from TPM in May…referencing Rod Rosenstein…)

    He now joins a legion of Trump Dignity Wraiths, men and women (though mainly men) of once vaunted reputations or at least public prestige who have been reduced to mere husks of their former selves after crossing the Trump Dignity Loss Event Horizon.

  • CindyinEncinitas

    I wonder if he’s saying this to keep his job, which may be far more important because he is the last line of defense against complete anarchy? I can hope if I want.

    • Apple Scruff

      The thing is, he could have done this without launching an attack of Rep. Wilson. That’s the worst part of this whole thing.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      he could have done it without trashing Wilson and the Khan family

    • Persistent Demme

      I wonder if he’s a total asshole who is ALSO taking a bullet.
      Seems like a reasonable explanation to me.
      (Hence the keeping his job thing, AND trashing Wilson.)

    • greyXstar

      He could’ve stopped at giving the story about past presidents and how he didn’t mean to criticize Obama by saying he didn’t call. He threw a Gold Star family and Rep. Wilson (who was already getting death threats) under the bus for no reason.

  • FlownΩver

    “Kelly said he coached Donald Trump on what to say…”

    Prima facie evidence that the Dotard was lying when he claimed to have done a lot of this.

    • AnnieGetYerFun

      I’m sure that Trump won’t be able to handle this, and will be tweeting shortly about how everything he said was his idea and he came up with all the words on his own, like a big boy.

  • Apple Scruff

    Ugh, I was listening to NPR on the way home today and they were talking about this, and when they played the clip of him blaming Rep Wilson, I almost had a rage stroke, so I flipped the station.

    • wide_stance_hubby

      Required sometimes.

      • Apple Scruff

        It’s an 80s station. So it’s all good.

        • So they Wang Chung EVERY night!

          • Tishalicious

            When they’re not kung-fu fighting….

          • That was the 70s, dahlink! Funny, ‘Kung Fu Fighting’ was supposed to be the B-side, backing a mundane love song.

          • Tishalicious

            My mum would be So disappointed in me….

          • unionthuggery

            70’s libelz!

        • wide_stance_hubby

          Hubby (10 years my junior) refers to the 80s as “your time”.

    • cmd resistor

      Thanks for the warning. I’ll make sure not to turn on the radio on the way home.

  • “Women were sacred, looked upon with great honor.” WHAT EVEN THE FUCK DOES THIS MEAN

    • Daniel

      You could go into the dressing rooms and watch these incredible women getting dressed.

    • janecita

      I haven’t the faintest idea, but it sounds sexist as fuck.

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      It means “I’m about to tell a woman who is also a Member of Congress where her place is and what is and is not her business.”

      • Red Bird

        Exactly. He was clearing the way to disrespecting a member of congress.

    • AppleJackie

      How does this pompous ass get up there and lecture us on the sacredness of Gold Star families and women. DOES HE KNOW WHO HIS BOSS IS?

    • Michael Smith

      I don’t know but I don’t like the dude who says that.

  • AnnieGetYerFun

    When I was a kid growing up, a lot of things were sacred in our country. Women were sacred, looked upon with great honor.

    Oh, well now I KNOW he’s fucking lying.

    • Rebel Scum with permit

      You’re right- that is a grade a crock o shit. That kind of honor, where it existed, was reserved for women of a certain class who colored inside the lines. Go outside those lines, or be a different class or color, and that honor evaporated quickly.

  • janecita

    As a Latina, I’m very wary of the military. I don’t glorify the armed forces, and I never liked General Kelly. Any person, working willingly for this administration is a piece of shit, and a terrible human being. The General, served his country for many years, now he is serving Russia.

    • Daniel

      Would you mind me asking what country (or “ies”) your latina background is from?

      • janecita

        I’m 100% made in Cuba.

        • Ling Ling

          Olvidaste mencionar que también eres un veterano(a?) militar.

          • janecita

            ¿Quien es un veterano?

          • Ling Ling

            Tal vez equivocado, pero pensé que en algún momento mencionaste el servicio militar de EE. UU. Lo siento si te mezclo

          • janecita

            No fui yo:-(

        • Daniel

          Thank you. I am quite interested in Latin American history, which is why I asked. Caudillismo is something I guess a lot of the people Trump is targeting would be worried about.

  • Nicola Andrews

    It was appalling but notice what we aren’t talking about today instead. W gave a scathing speech about Trumpism just a few hours earlier. That was a five minute wonder and all the pundits can find inventive ways to avoid saying Kelly pushed a war widow under the bus.

    • janecita

      OT, Nicola is a beautiful name:-)

  • AppleJackie

    Holy shit, y’all. 1. We can now end the bullshit narrative of “KELLY’S THE ADULT IN ROOM SAVING US FROM PRESIDENT.” This man buys Trump’s bullshit utterly and completely and was all too happy to trot out there and defend his disgusting actions. 2. Said Congresswoman Wilson was a close family friend whom the family invited to be with them in their time of grief when the call came in. The family can have whomever they want listen to that call. 3. Kelly essentially confirmed Trump said all the horrible things Trump himself and Sanders said he didn’t say. Good to know liars still gonna lie. 4. Did I read correctly that he implied the sacredness of women had eroded? WUT? 5. Fuck everything. We, as a nation, as so fucked is this is our “adult.” I AM SO HORRIFIED.

    • AnnieGetYerFun

      It’s 5PM on the East Coast, right? Don’t care if I’m in Seattle, it’s time to drink.

      • AppleJackie

        Girl, I’ve been perpetually drunk since Friday, January 20, 2017. Only thing keeping me from rage stroking out on the daily.

        • AnnieGetYerFun

          Alcohol helps thin the blood, right?

      • greyXstar

        It’s always 5pm if you believe in yourself

  • Daniel Hooper

    So, I guess this is proof that there’s no one Trump can’t take down, huh?

    • AppleJackie

      Trumpism corrupts all it touches.

      • Daniel

        Tiny hands, expansive reach.

    • Paperless Tiger

      How can you take someone down when they can’t go any lower?

      • clubseal

        That’s a question for the inventor of the limbo.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      He can only take down those who let him

    • greyXstar

      Reverse Midas

  • greyXstar

    President Bing Bong said Congresswoman Wilson made up the whole story and that wasn’t what he said and he had proof. Fox said she admitted she wasn’t there when the call happened. What a clown show.

    • miss_grundy

      Trevor Noah made Fuckface von Clownstick look like a toddler having a tantrum tonight.

  • canes_pugnaces
    • Daniel

      The prez dispenser.

  • Zippy W Pinhead

    Kelly knew what he was getting into when he signed up…

  • BreakingDeadMen

    Fuck this guy. Adult monitoring Trump? Fake News.

  • lucidamente

    He seems nice.

  • Marceline

    I can’t help but notice that one by one white men fall on their knees for Trump. He humiliates them and turns them into punks and yet they always crawl for him. McConnell, Sessions, Ryan, Cruz, McMaster, Cohn, Price, and now Kelly. All of them eventually grovel. You know which group has shown no fucks to give? Black women.

    Maxine Waters, April Ryan, Frederica Wilson and most importantly Sgt. Johnson’s grieving widow and mother. All stand tall in front of Trump and tell him to fuck all the way off.

    • Daniel

      Kamala Harris also too.

      • Marceline

        I’d actually put her in that list then thought she hadn’t opposed Trump directly. Instead she shoved her foot up Sessions’ ass. But yes, Kamala too.

        • lurch394

          A radical she isn’t, but anyone who puts a high-heel pump up the Keebler elf’s ass is all right by me.

    • Michael Smith

      Maybe that’s why Trump doesn’t seem to like black women too much.

      EDIT: Trump and Trumpists.

      • Red Bird

        Except for Omarosa.

        • lurch394

          You mean Aunt Jemima Manigault?

          • Red Bird

            That would be the one.

    • janecita

      Black women ARE the Resistance!

      • Daniel

        I hope they finally let white men take credit if they win. It’s the least they owe us.

        • janecita

          Some white men did show up that one time, so totally!

          • amrak63

            Y’all forgot the snark tags.

            Casual surf-by readers might think you were real wingnuts.

      • Well, except for that one from Texas who apparently thinks that short skirts = asking for it. Never mind. Old people, whatcha gonna do.

        • Rags

          Bad Boys….

    • Don’t forget Jamelle Hill along with 94% of the black female electorate. We tried to warn y’all, but 53% of you ladies didn’t listen.

      • Marceline

        You’re right. I did forget Jemele.

    • Meccalopolis

      Proud to stand with black women

    • Opalescent Riddles

      Lawrence O’Donnell is really doing a number on how Kelly called Frederica Wilson an “empty barrel” and never used her actual name, among his other “tells.”

  • Resistance Ftr PuckStopsHere

    Rude Pundit is rude:
    Let us also recognize that had this attack and these KIAs had occurred when Barack Obama was President and Hillary Clinton was Secretary of State, it would have been a scandal that would have stoked impeachment talk…

    I’ve kinda, sorta been wondering a bit about this myself, you know? How many Americans died in the attack in Lybia? Four, wasn’t it? Weren’t some of them guys (in the delicate, compassion verbiage of the president*/chief of staff) who “knew what they were getting into”?

    Where are the 17 (give or take) congressional and military investigations into Niger?

    • clubseal

      I’m sure we’ll find out in 50 years when it’s declassified.

    • Rags

      Rachel made this point last night. 4-5 spontaneously brought up the whole condolence thing in answer to exactly your questions and completely ignored the substance of the inquiry. Pure deflection.

  • UncleTravelingMatt

    Jesus Christ, I swear there are still going to be people saying “John Kelly is an honorable man and he will stop it” as the fucking missiles are leaving their silos.

    • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

      As I mentioned before, Kelly would more than gladly help Trump push the button.

  • Rocket Pony Ron

    The most reasonable explanation is that spending more than a short time in the presence of the shitgibbon-in-chief corrodes whatever soul one might have, until it decays completely and causes one to do, well, this.

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      I think the most reasonable explanation is that John Kelly believes in what Trump spews. He has a pretty solid record, even before joining the administration, of attacking Congress and the press corps and of warning of the dangers of brown people crossing the borders.

  • Scooby

    This was not just some Congresswoman siting in on a call. This was someone she mentored and had a very close relationship with.

  • WhoCheckedRussia’sVoterID

    Well…the thing is it IS sacred. And your boy just shit all over it.

  • Michael Smith

    I went over to Facebook to see if anyone was saying anything about this. Nothing yet. Just Ben Shapiro sharing a story apparently about a transgender man raping a ten year old girl in a California bathroom, which he captions “Evil.”

    Gotta make sure the Trumpists remember why they need Trump before some facts start popping up that might make them doubt his righteousness.

  • yyyaz

    Why is it most Americans don’t know what happens when a member of our armed forces dies, Gen. SFB Kelly? Maybe because your party of traitors wants it to be completely hidden from public view? Nah, must be some demonrat plot.

  • gene108

    Kelly unleashed the ICE, when he was head of DHS, on people dropping kids off at school. And now this.

    Face it folks, he’s a Trump true believer.

    I wish he’d just put on his MAGA hat and “Fuck your Feelings” or “Trump that Bitch” T-shirts because that’s about where his politics are.

  • Zippy W Pinhead

    “John Kelly’s trying to keep his job,” Wilson told POLITICO on Thursday. “He will say anything. There were other people who heard what I heard.”

    ROFL, dignified BURN

  • Werewolf

    This is the asshole who ordered ICE to terrorize Austin and other “sanctuary cities” with an aktion against immigrants a few months ago. He lost any honor he had back then.

  • Ωbjectifier

    A follow up, if I may General. Who ambushed these guys,what are we doing about it and why the fuck are we in Niger to begin with?

  • Opalescent Riddles

    “Let me tell you what I tell them.”

    There’s your mistake. He’s incapable of understanding the true meaning your words, so he’s incapable of delivering them verbatim with any authenticity, on top of the fact that they’ll sound different coming from a known draft dodger vs. a career military man. And his lack of empathy will make it damn near impossible for him to spin any words of his own.

    In summary, you failed to account for how it would sound coming out of his sphincter-mouth instead of yours, and you failed to account for the abilities of the one making that call. Don’t tell him what you’d do; tell him exactly what HE should do.

    • cmd resistor

      Plus you should have knownhe would only use the one line out of all the ones you gave him, and would pick the one that comes off sounding insensitive aby itself. Probably the one that had the fewest syllables in it.

  • Red Bird

    None of this would even be discussed if Trump was smart enough to follow orders. But somehow everyone has to protect the great white hope.

    • yyyaz

      The Tangerine Bawsack is too smart to follow orders. Just ask him.

    • Rebel Scum with permit

      Why does he have to coach Trump on what to say, anyway.? A president like Bush or Obama or even Reagan would know this.

      • miss_grundy

        But those presidents at least had family that taught them manners. It’s obvious that Fred and Mary Anne were too busy to teach their shithead son any manners or they couldn’t because they didn’t have any to teach.

  • Zippy W Pinhead

    According to Kelly, he misses the times when religion was sacred.

    General, does that include Islam?

    • yyyaz

      Wimminz too. He wants to put them back up on their pedestals so he can look up their skirts.

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        back on the shelf where they can be admired without having to listen to them

    • clubseal

      $1,000 to the reporter who asks that question.

  • Eileen Besse

    We watched this “thing”on teevee. Got our own opinions, thank you NOT, General Kelly. Asswipes are asswipes. What a hopeless shitshow. I will continue drinking now and then go to bed even earlier than usual.

    • Keith Taylor

      Okay, but just out of concern … don’t let these asswipes drive you to a wine bottle too often. Easy advice, I know; I’m at a considerable distance from the U.S. (width of the Pacific) and I still find myself yearning for an entire case of Black Douglas at times. Such as this. With a few glasses inside me I even went on Gateway Pundit last night and posted that I wouldn’t be surprised if General Kelly resigned in disgust. Probably hasn’t been received with huzzahs.
      Suppose I gave him too much credit. Or more charitably, as a career military man he’s too accustomed to backing the Commander in Chief and taking his orders no matter how he feels personally. I wonder if Kelly himself is racked with nausea and drinking hard this very minute. Just might be.

      • Eileen Besse

        You are certainly right. We have too many conflicting ideas today to be dealt with by the Spencers and the Ponys. THAT’S what drives me crazy–the division…. And I’d like to hear more from you, too. You sound like someone who could actually make a difference….

        • Keith Taylor

          Thanks. Actually my son has advised me not to chew the rug over current events too hard, and to write articles online since I feel that strongly. I’ve thought about it, and up until now I’ve always thought, “Yeah, but I don’t actually know enough about this issue, or that development …”
          I know enough to be stunned and horrified by the events that put Donald Trump in the White House, but who doesn’t? Vladimir Putin was evidently pulling more strings than I first thought, and does seem to have something on Donald Trump, maybe something massive, which needs to be investigated with scalpels and bone saws. Metaphorically.
          I still think the Republican Party on the home front did more through voter suppression than the Russian hackers through Facebook, but I could discover my mistake next week. Kris Kobach’s Interstate Crosscheck System was a huge factor, though, and about as necessary as an extra set of elbows.
          And tens of millions of U.S. citizens did vote for Donald Trump. Which is just terrifying.

  • Serai 1

    I was just coming here to post about this. Well, there goes any grudging respect I had for the man. FEH

    • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

      Your non-comment is so succinct. It took me a couple hundred words to say the exact same thing! Tip o’ the hat.

  • Bub, the cynical zombie
    • Royal Ugly Globalist Dude

      Thanks, I needed that.

  • Paperless Tiger

    Why are they still attacking the friends and family of a fallen soldier? Are they insane?

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      Friends and family of fallen soldier are black.

      • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

        And the Khan’s were Ay-rabs (though actually Pakistani).

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      Yes, yes they are. The entire party is as a matter of fact.

    • miss_grundy

      The fallen soldier, his family and his congressional representative are blah. General Fuckface also decided to attack a particular Gold Star family, the Khans. Why? Because they are Asian and Mooslams. General Fuckface is as racist and bigoted as the jerk he works for.

  • Good_Gawd_Yall

    The problem with this whole issue is that nobody has taken into account what Dolt 45 thinks of people who sacrifice their lives, or their honor, for this country: that they are suckers. He doesn’t respect their service; he looks at them as losers who couldn’t borrow a million bucks from their daddies for a start-up business. His attitude toward their deaths is no doubt along the lines of what he would feel if his caddy didn’t show up one day because he’d lost a leg in a car accident: annoyance at how inconvenient it was for himself.

  • TakingAmes

    The bit Kelly said about the casualty officer showing up at the house very early and waiting for the first lights to come on before knocking really got me. Damn onion ninjas. And then he had to go fuck it up.

    • puredog

      If you haven’t seen it, see The Messenger.

      • Serai 1

        shivaskeeper apparently has done that job, and says the movie is way inaccurate. Good effort, but doesn’t portray the process realistically.

        • puredog

          I don’t usually look to Hollywood movies, even indies, to portray processes realistically, but good to know. Still watchable.

          • Serai 1

            I told him I know why they made the changes they did. Movie storytelling is a very particular art, and the process he described made no room for follow-through or even a protagonist. I did agree that the messenger having an affair with the wife was out of line, though.

        • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

          I assume everything I ever see on film or the teevee is unrealistic. I lived through a Big News Event once — fun fact, it was North Korean soldiers killing Americans and S. Koreans with axes in the DMZ when I lived about 30 miles south of it (as the too-young bride of the first husband doing his 3 years in the Army in order to get the GI Bill so as to pay for a Masters Degree, but I digress).

          Reading and watching the coverage of the Big News Event left me just scratching my head because it totally did not match my experience on the ground. A handy lesson to learn so early on.

    • cmd resistor

      Yeah, I read the 2011 Washington Post piece on him and he described how it happened with his son. That was yesterday, when I thought he might still try to hang on to his dignity by not commenting on any of this.

  • Nockular cavity

    Women were sacred, looked upon with great honor.

    But not, you know, allowed to vote or work or anything. Let’s not get carried away or anything.

    • Keith Taylor

      Also, when a rape victim had the chutzpah to testify against the guilty man in court, the defence council typically came out with, wearing a quite disgusting leer, “And so were you a virgin when you were, allegedly, raped, or are you a slut from way back anyhow?”
      What was sacred and supposed to be honoured was the idea that the main man in a woman’s life, father when she was young, husband later on, owned her. If she was raped her mint condition was damaged and the offence was mainly to him.

    • Truthiness2U

      Or have credit, or take out loans by themselves.

  • Jacob DiCiaula

    I’m basically black on losing my shit on POTUS statements regarding servive members killed in action. I can’t believe i im here.

  • So, this is not “Trump Administration Blames Black Person Example Number 4 Gazillion”, how?

    I mean, they DO realize that it’s always the not-white person’s fault, right? And we can see them doing this? They’ve GOT to realize that, right?

    • OutOfOrbit

      HA! that requires self-awareness and insight

    • Rebel Scum with permit

      His statements were really nonsensical. His widow had the right to have anyone listen on on that conversation she wanted. You are right, this stinks of “How do you expect Those People to behave?”

      • cessnadriver

        NSGOTP uses eavesdroppers to bolster their argument that eavesdropping is wrong.

        • amrak63

          National Socialist Grand Old Treason Party?

          • cessnadriver

            Roger that.

  • Maybe

    I swear that Trump is contagious. Didn’t Kelly use to be sort-of honorable?

    • BreakingDeadMen

      We wanted it to be true.

      • Serai 1
        • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

          I learned about that show from a Wonker a little while back and have watched the first half season or so. So now I am smart about your gif.

          • Serai 1

            It is an eminently giffable series. Also just fucking adorable. :)

      • Maybe

        I guess it sort-of is if you grade on the White House curve.

        What a crew.

        • BreakingDeadMen

          I’d say Wrecking Crew, but Hal Blaine libelz.

          • Maybe

            Sort of a cross between Wrecking Crew and Keystone Cops.

            With a soupcon of The Walking Dead.

    • OutOfOrbit

      where doz it say that? in my book making general is not indicative of superior character

      • Maybe

        It depends on how you define superior character. I’m not a military fan myself, but the military does have standards. They value public service, though they certainly define it differently than I do. They value courage, discipline, self-sacrifice, the rule of law, and a number of other things that are worthy of respect. They are goal oriented.

        Among that group Kelly used to have a good reputation. He was rewarded and promoted for his military service. He seems to have flushed that down the toilet now and gone full Trump politician.

        And note that I did say “sort-of.”

  • cessnadriver

    This is the fault of the evil black people according to Kelly.

    He also refused to name black people by name.

    KKK all the way. Don’t kid yourself.

  • Christopher Story

    Theory: it was the only way to get the orange titty baby to put away the nuclear codes

    • OutOfOrbit

      i’ll buy that

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Women were sacred, looked upon with great honor.

    We weren’t denied equal rights because we were considered to be inferior, but because we were thought of as sacred? Good to know!

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/e06ddfec15a6df735b05c30585ba5154fe878ed01812bea1026e70b02ba2b062.jpg

    • Serai 1

      Fucking incredible what some people tell themselves.

    • Maybe

      If you want to dehumanize a group of people, the first thing you do is label them as a group and not refer to them as people.

      It even works if the label sounds vaguely complimentary.

    • stubbornirishlass

      Perhaps what he meant to say is “Women were scared, looked upon with great horror.” Since that seems more along the lines of where they’d like to take us.

  • Ergoetal

    John, thank you for your service.
    By that I mean for genuflecting unto the mighty fuckup in order to keep your job, because you may be the only one standing between him and the Big Football. Keep yer chin up.

  • Christopher Story

    But yes, respect for the death of our troops DID erode today. Not because a grieving mother lashed out in her grief to scorn those she felt responsible and deserving; it was your boss and his utter disregard for the sanctity of the sacrifices our men and women in uniform make or the chaos and devistation those sacrifices leave in their wake.

  • Portia McGonagal

    Sooooooooo the Congresswoman who mentored Sgt. Johnson and who was there at the request and invitation of the family was supposed to do what when the call was on speakerphone? Stick her fingers in her ears and say “lalalalalalala I can’t hear you”?

    And remind me again General “Where Has All Your Honor Gone”, who was it again who brought your family’s loss into this? Oh yes the same person who “honored” women by talking about grabbing them by the pussy and treating them like the shit you lick off his shoes?

    Who scheduled the call COS Kelly? Your office I’m guessing. Maybe they could have figured out a time when Mrs. Johnson was not in the car on her way to pick up her husband’s dead body when she and everyone else were at their most raw?

    But sure this is all Congresswoman Wilson’s fault. In fact she prolly sent these guys to Niger too right? That wouldn’t be your guy again would it? And what were they doing there?

    • WotsAllThisThen

      When someone says, “Trump is on the phone,” the proper response is to jump from a moving car. Everyone knows that.

      • Truthiness2U

        But don’t forget to tuck, and roll when doing so.

  • Red Bird

    Sorry to go OT but I need to mention that the toilets at my new office have that auto flush that works the second you get off the toilet. So if you move just a little bit while still sitting down, it flushes. So it’s basically like a bidet and toulet in one. I haven’t decided if this is good or bad.

    On topic, Kelley had to do this to keep his job. He thinks he’s being honorable but he’s being used.

    • OutOfOrbit

      well if the water is not clean when auto-flush splatters your dangly bits…uh, wait… is toilet water [ever] “clean”?

      • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

        No. It is definitely a bad thing.

    • Rebel Scum with permit

      They are supposed to save water, but they flush three or four times as you shift around. Or they don’t flush at all as you’re doing the jig from Riverdance in the stall. Then you decide to be a good citizen and push the little flush button- then they flush again as you’re walking out- to show you who’s n charge.

      • amrak63

        Who you gonna call? GHOSTFLUSHERS!

    • puredog

      If you’ve already peed when it bidets, I’d vote “bad.”

  • Maybe

    I thought Kelly didn’t want to politicize this sort of thing. You know, like taking the podium at the White House and saying demeaning things about Dems on the subject.

    Just Another Republican Phony.

  • Serai 1
    • puredog

      Donnie, flanked by Quday and Usay?

    • anon_the_great

      Moments later the piglets went rouge and ate the chihuahua

      • clairence

        red piglets

        • SDGeoff3

          with lipstick we guess.

  • Jbrooks9

    Mrs Johnson is comforted I am sure, now that Kelly has white mansplained how she should feel. I’m furious. PLEASE visit Frederica Wilson for Congress FB page. Like it and show your support.

  • anon_the_great

    Gen Kelly sure sounded a lot like Westmoreland didn’t he?

  • Hardly Ideal

    Those who associate with devils best get used to sticking their hands in fire.

  • Flashman

    Compounding the widow Johnson’s ingratitude, she forget to thank Trump for his work to eliminate the estate tax. Kelly gets his MAGA tattoo.

  • BMW

    So…why did Trump say the Congresswoman was lying when she accurately (according to what Kelly just said) reported what Trump said?

  • Kakariki
  • Lisa

    Thank you for saying what I was thinking. Kelly is being lauded by everyone on tee vee. I thought it was wrong and glad I’m not the only one. And who has to ask what to say? We all say the same kind of thing. Has he ever been to a funeral? You say you are so sorry for their loss. You say you can’t imagine how or what they are feeling. You say you and the nation are grateful for his service and his families ultimate sacrifice. If you have a heart larger than those crummy conversation heart Valentine’s Day candies, you know what to say. You may ask the general if he has any suggestions, but you should.know what to say.

    • Rebel Scum with permit

      After Benghazi, the father of one of the slain men claimed that Barack Obama was cold and unsympathetic, that his handshake seemed like a dead fish, and that the President seemed eager to move on, even though the mans own wife said that Obama and Clinton had both hugged her and been warm and sympathetic.
      Do you know what Obama had to say about all of this? Exactly nothing. And that was appropriate.

      • Darrell Imaginarian

        Like every President who ever lived understood there’s no advantage to ever responding.

  • John Orendorff

    Wait a minute. Didn’t Trump deny saying the “know what he was signing up for” stuff was a lie and fake news? So Kelly-creep is saying he did say it? Maybe this is addressed in the forbidden comments below.

  • Mavenmaven

    Trump really does have that reverse midas touch; everything and everyone near him gets turned into sh*t.

    • Rachel Book Harlot

      I think they are already shit, which is why they end up in his orbit to begin with. It’s the media who tried to pretend Kelly was a man of integrity. I never bought that b.s.

      • amrak63

        I halfway did buy it, even though I knew I disagreed with him on many things.

        Probably my Suhthun heritage, with its reflexive respect for the military.

    • miss_grundy

      Nah, they were already shit. Just that other people didn’t know it.

  • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

    I am so fucking furious. I even had a light hearted day for once in a goddamn blue moon and Kelly pulls this shit?!

    Fuck him and the horse he rode in on. I had tried, I had hoped that this guy was a little bit of what is truly honorable in the military which is allegiance to the Constitution, certainly not party, and not ever any one man, especially when that man is a clear and present danger to the Union.

    My dad is quite old now and Fox News has totally eaten his brain, but he was career Navy and back in the day, while we disagreed on many, many things, I will tell you what for me was his finest moment: he got himself elected as a delegate to the State Republican convention for the sole purpose of voting against Ollie North when old Ollie wanted to run for Senate.

    Dad said: I don’t know what Constitution he swore to uphold, but it’s not the same one I did.

    Where are these men now?

  • Jeff Ackerman

    Im sure Kelly kissed a lot of ass in his day, it’s still sickening. This reeks of desperation on Kelly’s part. Anything to make the baffoon look got to us proles.

    • amrak63

      One of the first things my freshman honors history professor taught us was that “The military is a bureaucracy”.

      The two most likely means of rising in any bureaucracy are wealth and/or other influence, and successful ass-kissing.

      • Carpe Vagenda

        Colin Powell started his meteoric rise to the top covering up My Lai.

  • WeaselPoo

    This spineless memdacity reminds me of Colin Powell.

  • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

    “When I was a kid growing up, a lot of things were sacred in our country. Women were sacred, looked upon with great honor.”

    Fuck you, John. Fuck you, John. Fuck you, John.

    We don’t want to be sacred, John. We want equal pay, a living wage, and to have men stop abusing us, harassing us, raping us and beating us would be fucking nice, too.

  • cosmiccowgirl

    I thought I couldn’t be surprised by anything else coming out of this White House, but wow. That speech shows that Kelly can out-Trump Trump in terms of Orwellian deception and projection.

    Also, women used to be sacred? What the fuck does that even mean? Women are human beings just like men, and we certainly weren’t treated any better back in the 50s and 60s when Kelly was growing up than we are now, President Pussgrab notwithstanding.

    • Rachel Book Harlot

      The mythical past they love to jerk off to.

      • Keith Taylor

        Yeah. A long time ago I read a book titled “The Good Old Days: They Were Terrible” and it described all the ways in which they were, indeed, terrible, from city hygiene to diseases like TB and polio. More recently, there’s a book called “The Way We Never Were” that’s worth a look. One of the points it makes is that when marriage was supposedly held sacred and immutable, and divorce was considered unthinkable, you often didn’t have to think about it because the average wedded life was 12-15 years — before one partner or another died.
        Your life wasn’t held too damn’ sacred if you were a coal miner or construction worker. Safety regulations? Commie socialist, are you?
        Why am I going into his long rave? You said it in one succinct sentence. That mythical past they love to jerk off to, indeed.

    • Just Noh

      and “life” don’t forget “life”! it used to be sacred too. infuriating

  • Angela Ruzzo

    I don’t mean to sound like I’m criticizing, Evan, but if people who enlist in the military “know what they are getting into” then why should I respect their “sacrifice”? According to Gen. Kelly, sacrifice is just part of the job, hardly worthy of mention, let alone respect.

  • clairence

    Today is (yet another) sad day for America. Everyone who’s been depending on Gen. Kelly to keep the WH in order learned today that they were mistaken. There are few barriers left in place to preserve the country from Trumpism.

  • Just further proof that Trump debases and poisons all who come within his toxic orbit.

  • amrak63

    Way to take one for the “team”, John-Boy.

    https://i.imgur.com/sd38rlJ.jpg

  • amrak63

    Hey, John-Boy, does Preznit Covfefe’s micropecker taste like a Cheeto?

  • GunToting[Redacted]

    Jesus Tittyfucking Christ. There is not enough bourbon in the known universe to cope with shit like this. I honestly hoped that Kelly had the honor to do something. FUCK, had the honor to not do something like this. Is it against the Wonkette RfR to wish for some cosmic event; a localized meteor, a contained tiny black hole, to eradicate all of these festering shitwhistles off of our globe while it still exists?

  • amrak63

    I have to wonder what Putin has on Kelly to make him do this, if that be the explanation.

  • Carpe Vagenda

    Are we not supposed to notice that Kelly just confirmed what Trump said he could prove with non-existent tapes he never said?

    I think Kelly and McMaster think they’re keeping the world from ending (although McMaster wasn’t a scumbag before this and Kelly sorta was), but they’re dishonoring their service. In Kelly’s case, he’s dishonoring what his son was killed for on behalf of Donald Trump’s butthurt dementia. That’s grotesque.

    • Rachel Book Harlot

      Thank you! I was thinking the same thing! Kelly just essentially proved that Trump lied. I really hate these people.

      • TundraGrifter

        Unless that was actually Gen. Kelly’s point and purpose…

        • Rags

          Not a fucking chance.

    • Paperless Tiger

      Must be tough trying to be an apologist for a pathological liar. Can’t even tell a little white truth.

  • Aileen

    Fuck off, John Kelly. I don’t want to be “sacred, looked upon with great honor.” I want to be treated as an equal. That way, when I act in a way you don’t consider virtuous or chaste or feminine, I’ll still have value as human being.

    • TundraGrifter

      Damn! Strong and smart! You’ve got it goin’ on.

      • amrak63

        Aileen, are you Stacy’s Mom?

    • Ms.MLG on Maui

      But he wants to take us back to the time we were precious, safe and respected! By taking away our rights to vote, be employed, own land, get a loan, open a checking account, control our reproductive choices, refuse men access to our bodies, obtain an education, serve in the military, and on and on. I think he meant “scared” rather than “sacred”.

    • Keith Taylor

      Agree with you. For the record, I’ve always quite liked it when women act in a way General Kelly might not consider virtuous, chaste or feminine. So long as they’re doing it of their own free will.

    • miss_grundy

      At least his son isn’t alive so he can’t be embarrassed by how low his father has sunk in order to work for the current administration.

  • PixieThis

    I might be emotionally fragile today, but this article made me cry. How dare he disgrace his uniform, his office and drag a congress person and military family through the mud? HOW DARE HE? I had a small measure of respect for him, but in the past week, I’ve learned what a terrible human being he is. You get not one ounce of respect from me ever again. I think the worst is how much this disrespects his own son.

  • TundraGrifter

    Yes, this makes me very sad. I think Gen. Kelly is an honorable man who has served his country. He’s trying to save us from ourselves (or, at least, the worst part of ourselves) in this Administration but it has washed off on him and it doesn’t look good right through here.

    • miss_grundy

      After his presser today and the way he spoke about Congresswoman Wilson, he has proved that he is dishonorable, shameless and a rat bastard SOB and fits right in with the rest of the racist bigots who work in the current administration.

      For the love of all that is holy, stop thinking that he is a decent human being. He is not. And his work at Homeland Security proves it.

    • LouiseLouise

      Kelly’s running of ICE and encouraging phoney reports on crimes of illegals wasn’t exactly the height of honorable.

  • blaid droog

    “Here’s video. Kelly starts at about 35 minutes in”. Evan, that is a cruel joke. You can’t possibly believe that any wonkers could sit through 35 plus minutes of white house drivel without being stupendously drunk first. Sorry you had to watch it for us.

    • Guinnessmonkey

      Um, you do know that you can skip over the first 35 minutes with a single click, right?

      • blaid droog

        Enlightenment. Gee. I don’t know why I never thought of that myself. Can u tell me how to skip past the fbi warnings about video piracy on my dvd’s?

    • Shirley Temples Dog

      No shit! Working on the prerequisite. Still won’t watch. Thanks Evan! Cheers!

  • FlownΩver

    Some people – well, just one, really – sound(s) like an asshole no matter what they’re saying.

  • OneWhiteWhisker

    I’m starting to worry about Evan. Well, his blood pressure really.

  • psychobroad

    Fuck that disgusting piece of shit. If he were ever “honorable” which seems seriously in doubt, he lost that title when he took a job with Dump. He’s just showing that his agenda and Dumps are exactly the same. Fuck you.

  • fawkedifiknow

    Trump raises the Kelley family situation as “proof” that Pres. Obama never called the parent of a KIA. And Kelley shits all over a black Congresswoman. These people are going to drive my blood pressure over the fucking edge with their all-consuming stupidity.

    • miss_grundy

      Didn’t someone who had experience being on a notification team and comments here that that question is asked by the assistance team? Perhaps Kelly, a GOPer, did not want a condolence call from Bamz, so Bamz would not have called him.

    • LouiseLouise

      Bam had a breakfast for all the Gold Star families in the WHand Kelly and family were there sitting at Michelle Obama’s table. He forgot to mention that.

  • CafeenMan

    From Duffel Blog (a military-centric sort of Onion):

    https://www.duffelblog.com/2017/10/trump-gold-star-families-casket/

  • BMW

    There are a lot of discrepencies between what Trump had said about the call and what Kelly said today…only time will tell how many times in the next days/weeks/months Trump will claim total vindication, but my guess is it will be quite a few.

    • John Oliphant

      They aren’t even good at getting their bullshit straight. It is difficult when your 2 year old blurts out whatever is on his twisted little mind.

  • Rags

    It’s clear that he has made his decision. He’s all in for 4-5; he’s no guardian at the gate, no adult day care center manager, no brave man trying to be of service to the country – he’s just another fucking enabler.

  • Toomush_Inferesistance

    Fuck them all with a big stick…

  • Ms.MLG on Maui

    The most dangerous thing most of us do on a daily basis is drive our car. People die, or are terribly injured, in car accidents each and every day. But you never hear anyone say the victims of a fatal crash knew they signed up to die when they got their driver’s license. Why do people say that about those who die while serving in the military? Does it make it easier for people to feel they bear no responsibility for it? That their beliefs, votes, etc..have no effect at all on what happens to those who are serving or have served? If we feel our service people are in such danger that it’s a given they’ll probably die while serving, maybe we are not doing right by them. Just things this situation has made me wonder.

  • amrak63

    Damn shame Putin (never forget which demon lord sits at the top of this heap) and his minions (including the traitors and dupes in this country) aren’t androids.

    My man Kirk could talk them into oblivion.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wlMegqgGORY

  • Toomush_Inferesistance

    The closest I can get to this is when some ex military man who shall for me remain ever after unnamed, took the podium and pretended that Saddam Hussein had nuclear weapons. Some Colon of a man….

    • amrak63

      Constipated Colon, to be precise–after all, he was full of shit.

  • godsaidHA

    Not a cute puppy or kitten, but hope this makes you smile, as I did, on yet another bleak day in the US https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/87b7c79295985dd55460ab89441cfb81850eeb3bd8fc1cbae9ac80079267d7d1.png

  • An Outhouse for the résistance

    Fuck his service. What war was he in that made Merica safer? He sucked the taxpayer’s teet his whole life.

    • Guinnessmonkey

      Bless your fucking heart.

      As a military brat who remembers getting calls to the house in the middle of the night because another pilot in the squadron had been killed in peacetime training, I should probably just leave it at that. Otherwise this post is just going to be me telling you to go fuck yourself over and over for a few pages.

  • ImpureScience

    You do have to hand it to Trump: he has an unerring instinct for finding people willing to humiliate themselves, even among those you might think had more character and integrity to go along with dramas like this one.

    • amrak63

      I would assume that ability comes from his grifting skills–his one true area of intelligence. OTOH, a grifter doesn’t need to be Einstein Part Deux; s/he merely needs to be smarter than his (or her) prospective victims.

      • ImpureScience

        I imagine that skill (and many other of his characteristics and techniques) being an adaptation to an abusive childhood.

  • TootsStansbury

    Oh well, look on the bright side, President asshole will shitpost some tweet contradicting what “his general” said.

  • I’ve seen wingnuts on Twitter asserting that Rep. Wilson “made sure to be there” when Trump called so she could “attack him” afterward. Aside from the paranoia underlying the idea, it’s funny how even Trump supporters assume he will say something terrible enough to warrant an attack, simply by calling a widow to offer condolences, to the point where Democrats literally just need to be within earshot when he speaks.

  • Big Puppy Resists

    No snark. This makes me sad, too.

  • BOB®

    Auntie Fred looks like she is gonna ask Obama for a quarter to ride the mechanical pony outside the Piggly Wiggly store!

  • SayItWithWookies

    Every single time Assmouth does something horrific, deplorable, unqualifiedly stupid, disastrous, barbaric, pathological, narcissistic or greedy, it’s someone else’s fault. Every. Single. Time.
    This time though, he must be thrilled to have General Kelly get up there and say it was all his idea. And the indignation was a nice touch — Kelly must’ve learned acting from a drill sergeant at some point.

    • Pisto75666

      Fake indignation, the most important class at Trump Crony school.

    • JoeChristmas

      Also, too, he calls them “my generals.”

  • Begin Anew Day

    Look General Kelly, you knew what you were signing up for when you agreed to be White House Chief of Stiff, uh I meant Chief of STAFF.

    Your new boss had shamelessly exploited a widow’s grief at his first address to both houses of congress. Was that “sacred”?

    Your new boss had no problem attacking a Gold Star family a year ago. Was that “respect”?

    He once said that an American Navy pilot who had been shot down and captured in Viet Nam was “no hero”. Was that “honor”?

    C’mon General! The only course you can take now is to RESIGN. You coached donnie on what to say and he completely screwed the pooch.

    Honor the shades of this countries fallen military personnel and walk away while you still have a shred of dignity to your person. You took a hit for the team. I get that. But you are suffering for the wrong cause.

  • tinker12

    My political guru, Norman Goldman http://www.normangoldman.com (M-F 3-6pm PT) thinks Kelly’s speech was for a party of one and that he did what he had to do keep Trump, must be adored, happy.

    • cessnadriver

      White eavesdropper blames the black eavesdropper for the controversy, doesn’t say the names of black people. KKKelly is KKK all the way.

  • Kooolest G

    hey I have an idea, after the congresswoman and the family of the soldier said they were offended by what trump said, why didn’t he go to the podium and say “look, I was trying to console these people who have just suffered a great loss and I said the wrong thing, or I said the right thing but said it the wrong way, or at the wrong time. there are no right words to say in this situation and I can never understand how they feel because I never served and I never lost a son or father in a war. If this brave soldier’s family wants to yell at me or spit in my face or punch me in the nose, they’ve earned that by paying the ultimate price for mine and all of your freedom.”

    instead he went on twitter and called them all liars and then sent “his general” out to be his cannon fodder.

    I miss Obama

    • The President and First Lady console Paul and Janet, parents of Army Sgt. 1st Class Jared C. Monti, who had just been awarded posthumously with the Medal of Honor for his actions in Afghanistan. This was the first of 52 Medals of Honor, the nation’s highest award for military valor, that President Obama bestowed during his two terms.

      http://www.instagram.com/p/BaUiZikFhgY/

      • Kooolest G

        yeah, like that.
        do you suppose the johnson family will be invited to the white house for a medal ceremony, if they are do you think they’ll show up?

    • Bebecca

      Because Donald Trump never makes a mistake except for that one time when he used a tone with his mother.

    • miss_grundy

      How hard would it have been to say “On behalf of a grateful nation, we are sorry for the loss of your husband, Sgt. La David Johnson. He was a good man and a brave soldier.” See, I’m not presidenting and I can at least say that.

    • Old Man Yells at Cloud

      He could have also offered Usay or Qusay to join up so he would know what its like to have a child in the military, but I’m guessing he would say one of them but not deliver until he was caught and then it would endup being Tiffany.

  • andyshelt

    “It STUNS me that a member of Congress would have listened in on that conversation. Absolutely stuns me. And I thought AT LEAST that was sacred.”
    John Kelly

    However, at an earlier WH briefing, Sarah Huckabee Sanders said several White House staffers were in the room during the call, including Chief of Staff John Kelly.

    Kelly is a fucking hypocritical lying piece of shit who has just flushed his last remaining shred of dignity down the toilet.

    http://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/us-politics/donald-trump-us-soldier-widow-sick-man-frederica-wilson-myesha-johnson-a8006916.html

    • Blackest Noobs

      “..who has just flushed his last remaining shred of dignity down the toilet.”

      ha! he did that when he tied his wagon to the Trump Shit Show.

  • chimpevil

    So why in the fuck would this Congresswoman lie about this? She obviously cares for the family as constituents and as people she has helped and mentored. She has compassion unlike this soulless piece of shit Kelly who has lost any bit of integrity he had ever earned by defending this demented shitstain. God help you Gen Kelly because you’re going to need intervention to avoid the frozen Hell that you will surely share with all those who betrayed their honor.

    • Blackest Noobs

      Kelly is spindoctoring for his boss, though his best move would have been to resign.

      Like if Trump tried to use my dead father as political gain as he did with Kelly’s boy, they would have to pry my cold dead hands from Trump’s throat.

      • chimpevil

        Hara-kiri wouldn’t be a bad option either.

        • Blackest Noobs

          it would have been the honorable thing to do.

      • Ducksworthy

        Funny but at first I read spindoctoring as sphincterdoctoring. But I think he’s probably doing that too.

        • Shirley Temples Dog

          Me Too! I think we need new glasses! Or another DRINK(s)!

        • Old Man Yells at Cloud

          Something tells me that when the Whitehouse staff enters the building in the morning, there are many sphincters tightening.

      • miss_grundy

        His best move would have been not to have had the presser. He should have shut his gob. Because now thanks to the presser, we know he is just as big of an asshole as the jerk he works for.

        • Blackest Noobs

          i kinda…no…i’ll fest up..anyone who has sided with him…they’re all assholes. all of them, Katie…all of them..even the precious Generals and Lil Miss Nikki.

      • Old Man Yells at Cloud

        Assuming he did coach Lil’Donnie on what to say, he could have fallen on his sword with a simple “I did a bad job of coached him… mea culpa” and apologized to the widow without attacking the Congresswoman and point out that there are more pressing issues that we as a nation need to address like kneeling football players…

    • DustBowlBlues

      The congresswoman should have thrown herself out of the vehicle (roll, Congress lady. Roll!) rather than listen to the sacred call the family had on put on speaker.

      • miss_grundy

        Was everyone supposed to jump out of the car except for the widow when she put the call on speakerphone? Besides the congresswoman, there was a county commissioner, who was a friend of the family, who was riding with the widow and the family. How stupid is that? And how stupid to say something that callous to someone who is on her way to receive her husband’s coffin at the airport.

  • Pisto75666

    Kelly said he coached Donald Trump on what to say, and he made sure to emphasize that HE told Trump to tell Myeshia Johnson, the wife of Army Sgt. La David T. Johnson, that her husband “knew what he was signing up for.”

    Doesn’t the General know by now coaching doesn’t work for Baby Donnie? Flash cards are what works.

    • Blackest Noobs

      he should have coached harder about little things like knowing the dead soldier’s fucking name for starters and fucking saying it.

      • Pisto75666

        Not like Trump would’ve paid attention. He’s like a gnat, you tell him one thing and a second later he fucking forgets it anyway.

        • don

          Unless, of course, one insults him, then he seems to have a pretty damned good memory.

      • cessnadriver

        Klanboys NEVER say the names of black people. If they are forced to say a black person’s name, they only use first names.

        Just like in the slavery days.

        Remember, the goal of the kkklan is to repeal the 13 and 14th Amendments.

    • miss_grundy

      When he was informed of the death of his son, did someone tell him “he knew what he was signing up for”?

      • Pisto75666

        Hehe I really hope someone asks him that, if they haven’t yet/

        I’m still trying to figure out why all these idiots want to fight for Drumpf’s honor so damn badly. Let the SOB mess up and have to defend his actions for once.

  • IdiotsforPalin
  • Mysterious Masked Wrestler

    “When I was a kid growing up, a lot of things were sacred in our country. Women were sacred, looked upon with great honor. That’s obviously not the case anymore, as we see from recent cases.”

    DIDJA HEAR? THERE’S A NEW THING CALLED “SEXUAL ABUSE”!!!! NOT IN MY DAY!

  • If Kelly is crazy enough to work for Trump, I reckon he’s crazy enough.
    https://img.memecdn.com/crazy-enough-to-potato_o_1752705.jpg

  • Harbinger08

    What trips Trump up is that he is trying to ape the compassionate behavior of a normal human being, but the behavior makes no sense to him so he flubs it. He can’t mimic it convincingly because of his missing wiring, his sociopathy. In his mind only a fool would stick his neck out for military service, as we have seen well illustrated by his own personal history and the way he has candidly spoken about it. So, it seems a very reasonable thing to say to a widow, “Well, of course he knew what he was getting into so this shouldn’t be much of a surprise, what did you expect? I’m sure you still probably feel bad, though.” Then he is baffled and angry when he is criticized for it. I’m sure he feels he is being treated very unfairly. “I said the damn words, what do you want from me?”

    • Petunia Cat

      Nicely put. That’s what I think, stated better. 👍🏼

  • Banquo’s Ghost

    Our national tragedy continues unabated.

    • miss_grundy

      Our international tragedy continues unabated. FIFY.

      • don

        I don’t think we’ll ever get back what respect we had globally. Every time I visit a foreign country and am NOT treated like shit thanks to tRump’s shit, I consider myself lucky…

  • outrageoftheday

    What really doesn’t make any sense whatsoever is Kelly saying the Trump asked him what to say. On Monday Trump said he calls all the families (not true, but nevermind). If he has been calling all the families since he took office, why does he need to ask Kelly what to say now? What the hell was he saying before? Illogical.

    • redarmyzombie

      “My electoral college victory was the yuugest!”

  • C4TWOMAN

    My feeling is this is face saving bullshit. Kelly, in his misguided loyalty, came up with this PR spin. It makes me wonder about him, since, if he really cares about the Nuclear Football, the best way to keep the country/world safe is to let Trump fall on his face until he’s removed from office.

    Unless Trump has something on Kelly, but that seems unlikely.

    • BrendaKay

      Perhaps Kelly is misplacing his need to be loyal to the office for personal loyalty to the Trump. Kelly should do what is in the best interest of the office of POTUS not the person named Trump.

      • miss_grundy

        Stop it! Stop thinking that Kelly is decent. He just proved to anyone who can hear and think that he is as much of a piece of putrid excrement as the man he works for.

  • SilBot64

    Everything Trump touches turns to shit.

    Somehow, none of the people who continue to work for him think that includes them.

    • miss_grundy

      The people who work for him are all human shite.

      • don

        So are his supporters. Just garbage.

    • SeeTrain65

      “Donald Trump: Reverse Midas.”

  • wobbly

    Dear God Almighty. I watched CBS News at 6:30, and they let this mess of a general disrespect the congresswoman who was actually a friend of the family without mentioning that.

    • Cool_North

      Another example of how the cult of personality works.

  • JoeChristmas

    I’m guessing this Kelly feller doesn’t like Niger too much.

    • miss_grundy

      He grew up in Boston. They don’t like minorities there.

  • Kneeling Bozilingus
    • fake news. He’d never touch a woman that brown.

      • redarmyzombie

        That, and we all know his pussy grabbing habit…

    • TA

      Nope. Too much empathy. More like, “shit happens.”

      • Kneeling Bozilingus

        That’s a JEB Bush thing.

  • wobbly

    OK, I am old, so I think I know what happens on the battle field.

    The survivors put them into body bags and wait for them to get choppered out.

    Sorry.

    Still stuck on the Viet Nam War thing.

  • Cool_North

    Not to mention that when John Kelly was growing up they could pretend women were sacred because they knew their place and kept their mouths shut. Who would have listened to them?

  • I’m sure it’s commented down thread but just because Kelly’s “not Trump” he’s been getting too much credit. The shit that’s happening to immigrants in this country is horrific and that’s his dept. He’s a monster just like every other member of this admin.

    • Cool_North

      Else he wouldn’t have passed the muster.

    • Delu

      For a “not-Trump” Kelly is surprisingly Trumplike.

  • Delu

    Kelly pulled a Trump.

    He ADMITTED that Trump LIED. This is seen in how he CONFIRMED that what the family said about Trump disrespecting them was true. He straight up admitted that.

    But THEN he went into what his speech was REALLY supposed to be about (whataboutism activated!).

    He attacked Rep Wilson and tried to deflect all blame from Trump. Trump lied sure, but Rep Wilson is so BAD so this is what we are going to talk about. Pay no attention to the Trump lie behind the curtain.

    Mission accomplished. Whataboutism activated.

    Kelly pulled a Trump.

    • not a trump. A GOP. They have been doing this shit for 40 years now.

      • Delu

        There is no GOP.

        There never was.

        There has only ever been the Trump party.

        Then, now, forevermore.

    • phoenix00

      Don’t forget victim-blame.

  • Pinkham’s Law

    Seriously?

    Further this respondent sayeth not.

  • Manders

    Women are not sacred, you tit. Women are people.

    Also, even in the good ol’ days when women were sacred, they got assaulted and harassed and mostly they just had to put up with it. So don’t fret about us, General. We are better off without the pedestal.

    • Odd Jørgensen

      so sacred they had to be protected from the world, kept on the pedestal we today call a kitchen.

      • miss_grundy

        So protected that they had to put up with their husbands beating them up or getting them pregnant almost every year without a break in between kids. Yeah, the days when women were “protected”.

    • miss_grundy

      Next time he walks out of the White House I hope a woman kicks him in the crotch with a pointy-toed show–without benefit of votes.

    • lunar62

      So how does Kelly justify working for Pussy-Grabber -in-Chief if women are so sacred?

  • This is monstrous.
    How fucking dare Kelly dishonor that widow like that? I bet you had to go to Arlington to collect your thoughts, General.
    Time to check where HIS bank money is coming from.

    • miss_grundy

      Hmmm, Russia????

    • ImGoingBacon

      Arlington Bar and Grill, on Wilson Blvd. Or so I’ve heard.

  • Wild Cat

    If you work for a fuckpig willingly, are you not a fuckpig? Will you not fuckpig us? Should I pity the GW Bush fuckpig war that fuckpigged this fuckpig’s spawn?

    • don

      Yes. Pity the controversy isn’t about what got all those service members killed…Americans seem to like endless war.

  • William
    • Delu

      Someone needs to tell Trump that the next time he gets around to complaining about how Presidenting is hard or how the press is mean to him.

      (though it probably isn’t true, Trump probably didn’t know what he signed up for and he probably didn’t care either).

    • phoenix00

      Deeper point: one can choose who to marry, but cannot choose who to be born to.

      • Old Man Yells at Cloud

        One can choose to sever ties at 18.

    • H0mer0

      ah, the “tale of two Melanias” IS true! The decoy Melania had a dimple on her chin.

  • BrendaKay

    Well said, Evan! You always capture what I am feeling and put it into much better words.

  • Darrell Imaginarian

    It’s still pretty fucked up when he died in ambush based on severe intelligence failures as to enemy forces in the area and probably sold out by the forces they were training. Is that really how a soldier wants to die? Just shot down, defeated because they weren’t even expecting a fight.

  • Lefty Wright

    Anyone who associates with Trump quickly gets the stench of his corruption and lack of concern for anyone but himself. The higher you get in his administration, the more it stinks. Kelly has now covered himself with enough stink that gallons of cologne will not disguise it.

    Trump was crafty in picking Kelly, along with Matt is and McMaster. While as high ranking military leaders, they are used to giving advice and discussing options privately, but once the leader has decided on a course of action, they will support it 110% and will not publicly question it. But Kelly must have forgotten that he is no longer active military and is serving voluntarily. So he has no excuses for what he did other than he is cut from the same mold as Trump. An ethically challenged bully.

    • miss_grundy

      And a bigoted, misogynistic racist to boot.

    • Old Man Yells at Cloud

      Someone needs to remind him that “I was following orders” was not accepted as an excuse in 1945 and it won’t be now. Everyone owns their actions and has the moral (if not legal) responsibility to refuse an unlawful or immoral order.

  • disqus_lWwzrwNaw6

    This was too ugly, including the part where this bitter old general used the dead heroes buried at Arlington as a kind of human smoke-screen, like those people who sit on the bleachers behind Donald when he makes one of his cut-rate knock-off Nuremberg addresses.

    Notice he can’t refute Representative Wilson, for the simple reason that she was telling the truth. All he can do is slime her, viciously and unforgivably, for telling it–to shriek that she had no right to listen in on a conversation that he knows all about, because—well, because it seems he scripted it, because the fucking moron he works for can’t figure out how to say “I’m so sorry” to the widow of a dead soldier.

    Somebody needs to let this old man know that the US isn’t a military dictatorship, not yet: and that an elected representative has a right to speak out on behalf of her constituents no matter how many flags this old son of a bitch chooses to wave.

    I’m sorry about his son, but then, I’m sorry about a lot of people’s kids. I’m sure enough sorry about Sgt. La David Johnson, who appears to have been killed horribly in a murky, ill-conceived operation, in a conflict that General Kelly and his moronic thug of a boss evidently would a lot rather not have to talk about.

    • irishdave3

      Yeah but, what about Niger’s plan for Global Conquest? No, wait…was that Grenada?

      • Magyar Has Had It Up To Here

        Grenada was a necessary invasion to keep the flow of nutmeg coming. Or something.

        • irishdave3

          too.also. Need to defend the Medical school for the ignorant affluent that couldn’t get in the A-Merican medical schools

  • NotALiar

    And then he smeared her with that FBI story. It was beyond disgusting. Fuck him. He’s no better than Trump. Actually he’s worse because he knows what he’s doing is shameful.

    • irishdave3

      “knows what he’s doing”…Are you sure about that…Don’t forget he was a Marine General!

  • Steely_Fan

    Rachel Maddow just ‘splained, as only she can, the probable sequence of events that led to the deaths of these servicemen. It appears that because the Orange Menace’s latest iteration of his immigration ban listed Chad, which she said happened solely because they failed to submit copies of their passport due to a paper shortage, Chad withdrew their military from Niger. She said the previously Chad had been our strongest ally in that region of Africa. The segment will be up on MSNBC.com later tonight or tomorrow, I’m sure. It’s worth the watch.

    • don

      Benghazi!1

    • SnowBomber

      If the travel ban ends up being the cause (or enough of one) of this, it’s going to be epic. All over passport paper and Trump’s insane Department of Homeland Security, which doesn’t even have a Director!

      God love Rachel. It’s a joy to watch her.

  • miss_grundy

    After hearing this jerk on Lawrence O’Donnell, I believe that anyone who believes that John Kelly is a decent man is stupid. Kelly is an “empty barrel”.

  • Weird Fishes

    So essentially we have learned today that there’s nobody with either decency or honor left in the White House.

    • irishdave3

      You mean no one that can at least fake it?

      • Weird Fishes

        Not believably. At least, not any more. Jesus, I hope this doesn’t mean that Kelly is slowly becoming a Trumpbot.

        • irishdave3

          I would disagree with the “slowly’ part..He’s always been one of “them IMHO.

  • sillyclucker

    John Kelly, please look up the definition of the word sacred and stop using it incorrectly.

    • irishdave3

      Too. also. what about Sacred sperm, huh, huh?

  • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

    Doesn’t matter. Dolt 45 is the one one the phone. He’s the one one the hook. He’s the one who should’ve known better than to tell a widow “Sucks to be you.” The culture comes from the top. You’ve got a liar at the top, you get liars all the way down.

    • Old Man Yells at Cloud

      Since everyone over the age of 18 who has said words at some point in their life has said something that didn’t come out as they meant, it stuns me that all he had to do was to apologize and say that his words came out wrong and he really meant to say (something heartfelt written by his speech writers) and this would have been over and forgotten, but he just can’t let it go. F’ing amazing… and he is truly a F’ing moron.

      • Cubanz

        orange shitgibbon apologizes for nothing! the man is convinced he can do no wrong, hence… we get all this shit that a normal human being would handle with the huge thing this pretend pretzeldunce doesn’t have: grace.

  • miss_grundy

    Lawrence O’Donnell just said that Fuckface von Clownstick is tweeting about Congresswoman Wilson and the call even though on his end the jerk had Fuckface Kelly listening in on the call.

  • nathan3e

    Can we pretty please stop pretending that Kelly wasn’t already completely goddamn unhinged before he turned up at the Trump Shit Show? Anyone remember when he was head of Homeland Security?

    • don

      True dat- but tRump and his fellow ‘tards are SO bad, he seems ‘reasonable’ on occasion

  • President Moron Dotard (R)

    Fuck John Kelly. He was a piece of shit bigot at DHS in ordering those immigration raids and he’s a piece of shit bigot as Chief of Staff. A disgrace to the uniform. Gutierrez was right.

  • Petunia Cat

    Here’s an article describing the lie Kelly told about congresswoman Wilson, and what actually happened at this FBI building dedication in Florida. 🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️ Jesus Kelly is horrid. And I haven’t even watched the Lawrence O’Donnell thing people are talking about down thread, yet.
    http://amp.miamiherald.com/news/politics-government/national-politics/article179869321.html

    • SeeTrain65

      On Thursday evening, an administration spokesman issued a statement that said: “The White House stands by Gen. Kelly’s account of the event.”

      An administration that stands for nothing can stand for lying.

      Color me non-shocked.

  • Viktor

    This was blown out of proportion. Originally Trump was called out on his silence, via Twitter, about the soldiers who died. Football knees, bad Obama, fake news, fake Russian news, little Corker, my KFC bucket was cold etc… everything but a message about the soldiers. Now this General is stepping in Trump poop. It’s out of control.

    • RugzYaBurnt

      I’m more of the mind that his people would never unleash Trump to try to pronounce “Niger” in a public forum. Hence the silence. (They’re just prolonging the inevitable tho; that motherfucker is definitely going to drop an n-bomb on a live mike sooner or later).

      • DuchessD’Orleans

        I’m just picturing them trying to drill him on saying it right. He gets it on a straight “listen and repeat” drill, but when they move to more freeform use he screws it up every time. Then when they tell him he screwed it up again and they have to start over, the tantrum happens. They have to rush in the bucket of KFC and then show him the Happy Nice Time dossier about what a big boy and a best president ever he is until he calms down for nap time.

        • phoenix00

          Accompanied by his favorite binky and blankie.

          • Old Man Yells at Cloud

            So that’s what he calls his two favorite #PeeHookers.

          • DuchessD’Orleans

            How much time exactly have you devoted to wondering about that fact?

          • Old Man Yells at Cloud

            Enquiring minds want to know

          • irishdave3

            I think, and you know how painful that can be, that would be Binski and Blanksi

          • phoenix00

            Helicoptered in from Putin’s Russia, I presume?

        • RugzYaBurnt

          What kind of soulless shitstain needs to be trained like a parrot to tell a person “I’m sorry your husband is dead?”

          • DuchessD’Orleans

            I was talking about the pronunciation of “Niger.”

          • RugzYaBurnt

            Ahahahahaha oh yes.

      • irishdave3

        To quote the noaCount Dickula…So?

        • RugzYaBurnt

          My fear is that even if this were to happen, it wouldn’t be enough for his goons to finally turn their backs on him. Nothing has been so far.

          • irishdave3

            “approval” ratings would no doubt go up I expert guest.

    • Old Man Yells at Cloud
  • everstar

    I feel like a jerk for getting annoyed about this, but the “finest men and women on this Earth” are not all buried at Arlington. For one thing, it’s a bit of a slap at all veterans buried elsewhere, eh, General?

    • James

      I get tired of veteran worship, and I am a veteran. Everyone makes up our society, not just those killed-in-action or veterans. We don’t exist in a vacuum separate from the populace.

      • Zyxomma

        Right on. During Vietnam I helped conscientious objectors escape to Canada. Now I regret that I didn’t join them.

        • James

          John Kelly debased himself and threw all us Gold Star family members under a bus to score cheap political points for Pumpkin Pinochet. It was repugnant.

        • Morrigan in Oregon

          Been there, did that, came back because like a dope, figure I am an American, and I made a conscience decision to tough it out.

    • Alternative Dog

      I served in the military and I can say without reservation that at least 25 percent of my fellow soldiers were complete assholes. A handful were truly wonderful people.

      • everstar

        Gasp!

      • Fusilier 0770

        Wow! Just like regular society from whence they came. Who knew?!? If you listen to conservatives, they will tell you every person who has ever worn the uniform is superior in every metric to civilian slime. I served with some of the best people I have ever known, and some of the shittiest people I have ever known. Doesn’t matter if he was dumber than a box of rocks, had a nasty glue sniffing habit, or was a general unemployable asshole prior to enlistment. Signed the enlistment contract and all that disappears.

  • James

    Kelly gave up any shred of integrity the second he joined on with Trump. Trump had already attacked both the Khan family and the character of Sen. John McCain’s captivity.

    I was tearing out my hair at all the liberals claiming Kelly would somehow be a moderating influence on Trump. Nope, Kelly knew exactly who this man was when he signed on to be DHS chief Chief-of-Staff.

    I don’t ever want to hear a conservative politician say again they give a crap about we veterans and Gold Star Families. Hypocrites, the lot.

    And worse, John Kelly is a Gold Star Father himself, and he threw the rest of us under a bus for a cheap political point.

    • irishdave3

      But the Orange Dotard prefers their heroes to not die…so they can praise him!

    • tkingt

      As a Vietnam vet (drafted), I’m appalled that Donnie Draft Dodger is in the White House. He has turned it into a pig pen. Kelly sold his soul and eagerly embraces this slimeball. Incredible.

  • RugzYaBurnt

    And this is why we need to stop pretending that Kelly is somehow above the fetid mess that he fails to manage in the White House. He is not.

    • hanadora444

      He’s in it deeper than almost anybody else in that administration except Trump himself. Really, has anyone here heard anyone in the White House, even Trump’s White House talk like that? That was horrendous.

    • irishdave3

      Like the man that follows the Elephant and cleans up the shit during the Parade….Quit…and give up my career in show biz?

    • Cubanz

      Kelly showed us where his loyalties lie – to
      power and not country. feck that guy, too. he just wrapped himself in drumpfpox blankets.

  • Up In Smoke O’hontas

    Arglebargle, troops, garglebargle…,,,,exactly my point.
    *transaction; we’re done for. Bigly.

  • President in Exile Firefly

    I’m gonna gallop on past the larger issue that overly valorizing the military is kinda fascist.

    • chortlingdingo

      Yeah, it’s really disturbing. I do respect the military. It’s a difficult job, and not one that I would ever volunteer for. But we border on worship here sometimes, and it makes me super uncomfortable.

      • BigCSouthside

        Post 9/11 over correction for Vietnam. One of the biggest problems I’ve seen is no one helps these folks transition to the civilian world.

        • SeeTrain65

          That TimeLife Book series ad on Vietnam back in the 80s? That was a gut shot, IMHO. Especially Tom Bird’s famous quote from the first ad.

          “I told the cab driver I just got back from Vietnam, and he was like, ‘So what?’ … ‘So what …'”

          https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q_VW16SsC_g

  • Pisto75666

    OT: Welp, it’s becoming a little clearer why Fuckface Von Clownstick doesn’t want it getting out what actually happened in Niger.

    https://www.rawstory.com/2017/10/maddow-connects-the-dots-on-how-trump-adding-chad-to-his-travel-ban-may-have-gotten-soldiers-killed-in-niger/

    • Old Man Yells at Cloud

      It makes sense. When Lil’Donnie added Chad to the travel ban, no doubt it was because he had seen so many bad things about Chad from his incel friends on Redit such as women wanting to have sex with Chad instead of Lil’Donnie Two Scoops:

      “…They hope to have sex with Chad’s…”

      First scooped by Wonkette: https://wonkette.com/623001/the-week-in-terrible-men-evil-women-wear-leggings-just-to-torture-incels

      • BearDeLaOursistance

        With this administration, it’s getting harder and harder to tell Wonksnark from reality…

    • irishdave3

      But, but me must not allow a Yellowcake gap…and shit.

  • James

    KellyBlueFalcon heading up the list on Twitter in response to John Kelly’s repugnant attacks on Rep. Wilson and the Johnson family.

    https://twitter.com/hashtag/kellybluefalcon?f=tweets&vertical=default&src=hash

  • akryan

    what’s really sad is that his speech is nothing more than a dressed up Trump tweet attacking the congresswoman. Trump was just too much of a coward to deliver it himself, so like he’s done with so many of the people that have worked for him, he spent the credibility of a heretofore respected figure to deliver it for him. It’s tragic.

    • sarafina

      If Kelly didn’t have the backbone to stand up against this, he’s just another Lewandowski/Jared/Manfort/Spicer/Priebus clone.

  • irishdave3

    What “service” of John Fucking Kelly deserves our respect….Wasn’t he just following orders when he committed War Crimes?

    • Oblios_Cap

      Read Smedley Butler:

      “I spent 33 years and four months in active military service and during that period I spent most of my time as a high class muscle man for Big Business, for Wall Street and the bankers. In short, I was a racketeer, a gangster for capitalism. I helped make Mexico and especially Tampico safe for American oil interests in 1914. I helped make Haiti and Cuba a decent place for the National City Bank boys to collect revenues in. I helped in the raping of half a dozen Central American republics for the benefit of Wall Street. I helped purify Nicaragua for the International Banking House of Brown Brothers in 1902-1912. I brought light to the Dominican Republic for the American sugar interests in 1916. I helped make Honduras right for the American fruit companies in 1903. In China in 1927 I helped see to it that Standard Oil went on its way unmolested. Looking back on it, I might have given Al Capone a few hints. The best he could do was to operate his racket in three districts. I operated on three continents.”

      • Beanz&Berryz

        People may not know… Smedley Butler was the ranking U.S. Marine General of his era…

        • (((Aron)))

          The most decorated soldier in American history.

      • tkingt

        Horrible legacy. I was drafted and sent to Vietnam. The military-industrial complex profited handsomely. Fortunes were made. Incredible.

  • UnsaltedSinner
    • H0mer0

      what the hell is that scene from?

      I really wanted to give Kelly the benefit of the doubt but picking on a woman and picking on an African American Congresswoman has really bad optics not to mention picking on two Gold Star Families.

      • UnsaltedSinner

        That’s Liv Ullmann’s first appearance in a movie, in the Norwegian comedy “Fjols til fjells” from 1957. It seems she learned what the film industry is like right away.

    • Lily412

      Yeah, I thought that was the weirdest fucking statement. “Women were sacred.” WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT MEAN? Sounds like some Madonna/Whore dichotomy bullshit. I also loved the part where he was describing what typically happens to the remains of a fallen soldier and mentioned taking them to the “mom and dad, and the wife.” Apparently there’s no such thing as straight female soldiers or gay male soldiers.

      • lurch394

        His last name is Kelly and he’s from Boston. Holy Mother Church ran in his veins before Marine Corps coffee did.

    • sgt. jmk of the résistance

      Fun fact – when John Kelly was a boy, it was legal for a husband to rape his wife in every state in the union.

      So much for “sacred.”

  • Eric Mory

    Lord of the Tweets has another Dignity Wraith in his service.

  • BPMM

    The method of pointing out someone “knew what he had signed up for” may be appropriate for one career soldier speaking to another as what happened when Kelly lost his son, but that’s not the approach that should be used when attempting to console a grieving widow.

    • Opalescent Riddles

      I wrote this elsewhere, but it may apply here as well.

      When Kelly told Trump his story about what his casualty officer told him on the death of his son, he was handing a metaphorical gun to a toddler, and he should have known that Trump would not hit the right target. To an officer, something like “he knew what he signed up for” coming from a fellow officer sounds a lot different than it would to a civilian widow coming from a civilian president. Kelly should have understood that, but it now seems that he is somewhat lacking in empathy himself, unable to step outside of his own situation into another’s.

      A pregnant widow in the throes of Kubler-Ross’ 5 stages of grief is wondering how her and her children’s lives can go on without her husband and their father. Perhaps she’s feeling some anger that he didn’t pick a career that would have kept him by her side well into their old age, and that anger turns inward to more sadness. In that moment, she does not want to hear confirmation that her husband had foreknowledge of how this whole thing could have been avoided.

      • Odd Jørgensen

        he was handing a metaphorical gun to a toddler, and he should have known that Trump would not hit the right target.

        He should have known that Trump would turn it into a pipe bomb, filled with nails and shards of glass.

    • sarafina

      I thought Kelly was enormously insensitive for that reason – soldier to soldier those words may be acceptable, but neither The Dotard or Mrs. Johnson were soldiers. After all his years in command, I would have thought Kelly would not be so blind to that difference. Oh well, Kelly is just more Trump roadkill.

  • Gee, Your Hair Smells Horrific

    Grandma used to say, If you lay down with dogs you’re going to get fleas.
    YOU HAVE FLEAS JOHN KELLY.

    • SeeTrain65

      Thanks to you and Eric Mory below for my new Trump term.

      “Lord of the Fries.”

      • (((Aron)))

        I wish I was Lord of the Fries :(

        I like French fries.

        • Magyar Has Had It Up To Here

          I like fried anything except cheese curds

          • (((Aron)))

            FRIED CHEESE CURDS ARE DELICIOUS!

            And I am now kicking myself because I just got home last night from Dallas, where the Texas State Fair is currently taking place. This is, of course, the home both both fried Coca-Cola and FRIED BEER.

            Also fried butter.

          • Princess Erika the Radiant

            hey, give the Iowa State Fair some credit for stupid fried things too (which replaced previous more “wholesome” fair staples like gigantic pork chops on a stick – actually i think they still have those and you can get them fried (its been a while since i’ve been to teh Iowa State Fair) because a course you can) – indeed, i believe that Iowa and Texas are kind of at war trying to come up with the most diabolical fried food menace possible

          • (((Aron)))

            That is a war where we all win.

            This year’s winner in Dallas was Funnelcake Bacon Quesoburger.

            I would die so happy there aren’t words. I just hope the aortic rupture would be quick.

          • Princess Erika the Radiant

            that actually sounds extremely gross

            but then, i like Brussels Sprouts!

        • Mehmeisterjr

          Freedom Fries, please!

          • (((Aron)))

            Liberty cabbage!

  • Oblios_Cap

    As a veteran, I am really uncomfortable with the characterization of the military as the best group of Americans. From experience, I know they are no different than any other group, except that the play the CYA angle better than most.

    • Beanz&Berryz

      And also too, then only the military is qualified to serve in government or make political decisions… There’s a name for such things… PLus, calling everyone who serves a hero takes away from the heroism of the hero’s…

  • The Librarian

    How about our government, Mr. Kelly? That’s been eroding since January 20. Any thoughts about that?

  • Douglas White

    Let me see if I have this straight.

    Congresswoman Wilson saying that Trump spoke inappropriately to the family is a PURE POLITICAL move and she has forever ruined the sacredness of military sacrifice in our country.

    But…..

    A day earlier, when Donald Trump HELD A PRESS CONFERENCE to tell everyone how he is the bestest, most glorious caller of military families ever in history, unlike the other loser POTUSes who came before him, and who probably urinated on some graves maybe, who knows…. THAT was NOT ‘political’….

    Got it. Sometimes the lessons here are very, very deeply buried and you have to possess a special kind of brain to even get at the real truth…… right?

    • Magyar Has Had It Up To Here

      I don’t get how anyone thinks that one political figure discussing/criticizing another political figure could be seen as anything other than political.

    • Kip TW

      Reminded of a favorite story (thx to Gershon L.) of a meek recruit being pointedly harassed by an overbearing sarge, who gets in his face and heckles him over and over. “I’ll bet you just can’t wait to piss on my grave, can you, soldier?” the Sgt. demands.

      “No, sir,” moans the Pvt. “When I get out of this Army, I’m never standing in line again.”

  • TundraGrifter

    Gen. Kelly: “He was doing exactly what he wanted to do when he was killed. He knew what he was getting into by joining [the military]. He knew what the possibilities were, because we’re at war. And when he died … he was surrounded by the best men on this earth, his friends.”

    President Trump: “Tough tittie.”

    • Oblios_Cap

      I don’t think anybody’s idea off doing something they love is dying.

      • Douglas White

        Highlander Libelz!!!!!!!!!!

      • sgt. jmk of the résistance

        Cylon Libelz!!!!1!!!!

      • TundraGrifter

        Good point!

  • Oblios_Cap

    If Kelly impaled himself on Trump’s sword, he only suffered a little prick.

    • Magyar Has Had It Up To Here

      Just a flesh wound?

      • SeeTrain65

        Barely a scratch. The friction burns he’d receive from the cheap material Trump’s suits are made of would do more damage.

    • vermonter9

      Worse. By enlisting his dead son in the service of flacking for the Creature, Kelly has officially made himself Trump’s little bitch. Congrats General.

  • TRW

    The #Democrats are sending in the clowns because the Uranium One scandal could send their sacred cows to jail.

  • EvidenceBasedPolicy

    I’m glad women aren’t considered sacred anymore. We’re not fucking temples. We’re breathing, pooping, farting, shitting, fucking animals just like every other human being. Please don’t me on a fucking pedestal just because I have mammary glands.

    • Kip TW

      The pedestal is an attempt to contain you. You’re supposed to stay on it. If they find you away from it, they will try to get you back onto it. Gently, at first.

      • Harbinger08

        The pedestal is a form of containment, but I would say it has been sold as the carrot you are expected to choose over the stick. A phony privileged position of being treated like a powerless child, and all you have to do is act the way you are told. Try to climb off the pedestal by acting like an independent adult and the stick comes out. Once you decide to leave the reservation all “protection” is forfeited and it’s nothing but punishment.

        • Kip TW

          Yes. The “ladies’ auxiliary” is often a small part of a male bastion, wherein women who will toe the line of male affirmation are permitted some slight privilege that puts them below the men and above the women outside the group. Military wives are a good example.

          • Harbinger08

            I’m not even talking about different levels of privilege. In times past women who deliberately rejected the conventions of the pedestal were themselves rejected from society and family, denied support and a means to earn an honorable living, and even destroyed. It’s not the same now, but there is a reactionary faction that would like to return to that, and they are acting on it and working towards it every day. Don’t underestimate their intentions.

          • Kip TW

            Okay. I was, though. That small benefit they offer is another carrot. It’s not that big, but it’s spray-painted gold.

          • Kip TW

            Didn’t see this till now, for some reason, so I’ll belatedly agree.

    • Susan Preiss

      Men only put women on a pedestal so they can look up their skirts.

      • sgt. jmk of the résistance

        It’s an effective way to make us stand perfectly still where they want us to stand, and neither progress nor be able to go in our own direction.

  • Electric Ukulele Land

    I found the whole thing emotionally manipulative from the get go — I shut it off and didn’t end up watching this travesty until I saw it on MSNBC later. What’s respectful about calling someone an “empty barrell?” There are ways to disagree with people without being disagreeable. Kelly could beg to differ with the congresswoman’s characterization, but to insult her and go after her character does not speak well of his character.

  • Out of Patience

    The Sun Sentineal found video of Rep Wilson’s speech. Guess which one is the lying liar who lies?

    http://www.sun-sentinel.com/local/broward/fl-reg-wilson-kelly-tape-of-speech-20171020-story.html

  • Kip TW

    When I saw the link to an article on Kelly throwing his credibility away, I thought it must be a repeat from August 31.

  • BearDeLaOursistance

    colin Kaepernick is teh real FLAG disrespecter!!1! Libtards!!11!!1!

    • Jennaratrix

      Needs moar ALL CAPS! Otherwise, nicely played.

    • empf

      Dude, learn to type.

      • BearDeLaOursistance

        Thought the “poe” tag would have indicated the sarcasm. We Wonkerados have unique ways and systems, here on this Dick Joke Recipe Mommyblog.

    • pd1648

      Libtards. Never heard that one before. What a charming way with words you have!

      • sgt. jmk of the résistance

        I think your sarcasm detector needs calibration.

    • sgt. jmk of the résistance

      Poe Score: 8/10.

      A worthy attempt, but a real wingnut wouldn’t have spelled Kaepernick correctly….if at all.

  • This FUCK wants to be thought of as “the adult in the room”?

    well then i wanna be thought of as an Olympic marathon medalist.

  • JayGoldenBeach

    At least Kelly did not make the tired, disingenuous claim that the US military are in Niger “fighting for our freedoms” or “spreading freedom and democracy.”

    Considering how vague he was in re: the deployment in Niger, one might reasonably infer that the US military is helping to quash dissent of locals opposed to the resource extraction companies, e.g., teaching Niger military how to deter protesters and activists, aka US soldiers propping up dictator on behalf of the mining companies.

    The countries change, but the USA’s game remains the same.

  • Manhattan123

    While many like to paint Kelly as some sort of “adult” who is keeping us from Armageddon, can we stop to remember that not long after Trump took office he attended a Coast Guard graduation where he was presented with a ceremonial saber and Kelly was caught on a hot mic whispering, “Maybe you can use that on the press, sir.”

    This groveling toady is as phony and fake and fascist as Trump himself. Stop the Kelly worship.

    This latest sorry incident shows he is quite happy in the sewer with Trump.

  • CockRobin

    “Pussy thin skin”?

    • RiSheil

      right?

  • DonnaDiva

    Chris Matthews got a boner over the statement, calling Kelly “presidential”. Burn the entire MSM down now.

    • gffish

      Chris Matthews seems to get a boner every time a Republican can speak an entire paragraph without making a grammatical error.

  • lurch394

    Military types, even generals, even most retired ones, don’t do policy. That’s why it’s dangerous to have so many of them in government.

    • pd1648

      I have to give that an amen as well as an upvote.

      AMEN!

    • Lisa Churinskas-Hulit

      Additionally, as the father of a soldier killed in battle, the entire situation was far too personal for him to make a public statement. He should have known that, but I am quite sure that The Yam put at least SOME pressure on him to spin it back onto the Congresswoman and the family.

      • lurch394

        I imagine he did. I had not heard him called “The Yam” before. Clever.

  • empf

    They have the worst PR ever. Lost in the shuffle of that fat ass’s ego is the death of an elte ranger, who happens to also be black. Just like the REASONS behind the anthem protests were lost in the shuffle (also black people), and the sufferering of thousands of Puerto Ricans is lost in the shuffle of Trump’s tremendous FUCKING EGO>

    John Kelly? I thought he was better than this. He could easily said, we as soldiers, DO know what we’re sighing up for. That doesn’t make the losses any easier. …..AND THEN GO ON TO TALK ABOUT THE DEAD MEN! Dammit. Trump sucks the air out of every room. And just plain sucks.

  • pd1648

    Does General Kelly know that we pay his salary? That he and 45 and all their minions are paid by the civilian population of this country? It is especially galling for this man to try to tell us what is sacred. Are women sacred and honored in the military? No, no sir! They are emphatically not treated that way. And his boss, for whom he dutifully lied and insulted all the citizens of this country and our free press — does he hold women sacred and treat them with honor?

    I will argue with a four-star general. I will tell him that when he took this position, he abandoned all that is sacred and gone to wallow in the corrupt, dishonest, and purely hateful muck that is this play-like presidency. I would tell him he has abandoned honor and reputation to go out and lie for someone who should be considered a registered sex offender.

    By signing on as one of Trump’s generals, General Kelly, you have broken every oath of honor you ever took. You are now part of a cheap sensationalist reality show, and you are only supporting cast. You are now complicit in the destruction of the very country you once served.

  • John Lo

    Kelly makes no sense here, since he brings out the idiotic trope, “… knew what he was getting into …” implying that death was probably inevitable, when in fact that’s the last thing anyone in the military expects or wants. (Unless they’re batshit crazy death-wish-happy morons.)
    In the words of Gen G. Patton, “The object of war is not to die for your country, but to make the other bastard die for his.”

  • Lisa Churinskas-Hulit

    My only hope is that he said those things to give Jolly Old Pussgrab the illusion that he is his ally – or “friend”, as JOP would say – in order to lessen the possibility of getting fired, and thus depriving the country of one less guardian at the gates of destruction. There are far less than a handful at this point. Afterall, a woman can dream!

  • looksquirrels

    My uncles and father would have maybe been allowed to question him, as veterans of WWII and people who knew plenty of Gold Star families. They’d all be appalled by this deification of the military. They were proud of serving but didn’t make a point of expecting people to genuflect. They also went on antiwar marches, because democracy and freedom of speech.

  • TheMgt23

    Kelly who has orange stains around his mouth now as well, wasn’t called for the simple reason that HE WAS NOT NEXT OF KIN. His son’s wife WAS next of kin and Obama DID CALL HER.

    Too often military hardware lags far behind commercial hardware, like three or four decades behind. Undoubtedly that’s why Kelly missed the SPEAKERPHONE and instead thought that nasty black woman, Rep. Wilson, was muscling in on the conversation. Or he could just be pitching to Trumpie’s odious base, who knows.

    Hmm, then he went and lied about Ms Wilson bragging about the funding for the FBI building. The jury is in. John Kelly is just another pathetic lying piece of shit. So much for military honor, what a laugh. He should be stripped of his stars, medals, health care, pension and burial rights at Arlington National Cemetery. He is a complete and utter disgrace to the uniform he once so proudly wore.

    It’s one thing to lie for your president but when your lies are as vacuous and as easily disproven as Trumpie’s lies, I think you should resign and seek psychotherapy as you obviously have lost all self esteem.

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