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Heather.

Someone had some rough and uncomfortable poops this morning:

For a backgrounder on how the retiring Tennessee senator has hurt Donald Trump’s feelings so bad he’s feeling the need to share his pain with all of America, click here. Also too, there is this.

Corker responded:

DAMN GIRL DAMN! Adult daycare jokes are MEAN! What is Bob Corker, some kinda Wonkette?

Since yr Wonkette is a lifelong Tennessee resident, we cannot emphasize enough that we are unfamiliar with the emotions we are having, which involve cheering for our senator.

Of course, words are cheap and we’d REALLY love it if Corker followed this shit up with some actions, but hey, you gotta start somewhere, and it’s not like any other elected Republicans are slapping the dick out of Trump’s mouth like this.

Is Corker setting himself up for a primary run in 2020? UNCLEAR MAYBE WHO KNOWS?

Regardless of his intentions, is Corker’s impending retirement making him very “LONG HAIR DON’T CARE” about this whole “Donald Trump” situation? CLEARLY.

In conclusion, we just came in to work on a Sunday because DAMN BOB CORKER DAMN.

And now we are going to brunch.

Follow Evan Hurst on Twitter RIGHT HERE.

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  • GreenGoldSharpie

    I love it when old, white guys fight like high school girls on the tweeter.

    • TundraGrifter

      Slap fight!

      • GreenGoldSharpie

        Have a cardiac team on hand.

      • The Wanderer

        Lots better than a lemon party.

        • TundraGrifter

          I’d not familiar with such an event. And, this being Wonkette, I’m not yet convinced I want to be.

          When you have a lemon make lemonchello?

          • Botlrokit

            You might consider retracting your question completely.

            Or googling “lemon party”

            I would retract the question.

          • TundraGrifter

            Nah – thanks – I’m good.

  • bubbuhh

    Ever notice how many retiring GOPee Senators suddenly develop a spine and a conscience?

    • AJ Milne

      Yep.

      S’almost like they know damn well the shit they’ve been letting go/been part of ain’t right… And knew all along or something…

      Nice to know? How much help to anything, really, I dunno. Big crazy donors with nasty fuck everyone but me agendas probably effectively own their votes, pretty much, and by exension their every word, too… Right up until they don’t have to care anymore.

  • memzilla Ω

    Dolt 45 used the word “hence” in a tweet? I’m guessing Miller wrote this.

    • TundraGrifter

      I think he should leave the Vice President out of it.

    • SprinklemagicResistancebuns

      Too many multi-syllabic words as well.

  • Ill-Advised

    The all-caps NO does seem to be a staple in Trump’s vocabulary.

    The use of the quote-marks feels like even the Twit-in-Chief knows, at some level well away from his ego, that he’s lying.

  • TheGrandWazoo2
    • AJ Milne

      (Also, when you read his blinks as Morse, it goes ‘I’ve seen the pee tape, dear God, and cannot now unsee’.)

  • DainBramage
    • The Wanderer

      “Run of the mill right wing Republican.”
      Yeah he is, pretty much. Complete scumbag, too.

    • Shibusa

      Indeed. I still remember the winking, blonde bimbo saying, “Harold, call me!” ads that Corker ran to frighten insecure white hillbillies into voting against scary black Harold Ford Jr back in 2006.

  • Rachel Book Harlot

    Don’t worry. Corker will backtrack on these comments in no time and order will once again be restored in the universe.

  • Skeptical_thinker

    Trump sucks golf balls through a garden hose.

    It had to be said.

  • Kate

    WOW! Not usually a fan of Corker, but he’s been presenting some major cajones lately! Let’s hope some of his playmates in the Senate follow suit.

    • Celtic_Gnome

      For that to happen, his playmates would all need to be retiring as well.

      • Kate

        Yeah, but hey, a girl can dream!

  • A Bashful Nobody

    Evan, you are a brave fellow. Mrs. Nobody and I are afraid of Tennessee.

  • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

    Also worth noting: DOTUS says Corker begged for his endorsement. Not that it’s true, of course, but let us take a moment to pause and consider that DOTUS is suggesting that a sitting senator of his own party would have to “beg.” It really quite stunning.

    • ltmcdies

      Face it… the Dotard really thought president and emperor were synonymous

  • SCK

    I’ve never been proud to be a citizen of the state of Tennessee. Today I am. Senator Corker rocks.

  • Rachel Book Harlot

    Yes, an endorsement by ‘Ol Donnie is sure to win you an election. Just ask Luther Strange.

    • msanthropesmr

      Who?

    • The Wanderer

      So Trump wanted some Strange, and now wants Moore?

    • WotsAllThisThen

      An endorsement isn’t enough. You also have to be batshit crazy and hateful.

  • amindofitsown

    OT: Trump on his Puerto Rico Paper Towel Free-Throw:

    “They had these beautiful, soft towels. Very good towels. And I came in and there was a crowd of a lot of people. And they were screaming and they were loving everything. I was having fun, they were having fun. They said, ‘Throw ’em to me! Throw ’em to me, Mr. President!’ And so I’m doing [imitates basketball-shooting motion] — so the next day they said ‘Oh it was so disrespectful to the people.’ It was just a made-up thing. And also when I walked in, the cheering was incredible.”

    https://www.mediaite.com/tv/trump-on-his-paper-towel-tosses-they-were-begging-me-to-throw-the-beautiful-soft-towels/

    • yyyaz
    • Always about him

    • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

      And then Mike Huckle-fuckle-what’s his name said, “Your were like a rock star.” That’s some hard hitting journalism that was.

      • Missed a spot on the taint there, Huck

      • Daniel

        His name is Child Sexual Assault Defender Mike Huckabee. (This is now automatic in my phone’s autocorrect.)

    • ltmcdies

      I hate this fucking guy with heat of a thousand burning stars

      And I’m not American. I can’t imagine …..

      • C4TWOMAN

        I think I’m hated out.
        I’ve moved on to
        >Syntax error
        >Input not valid
        >does not compute
        >reality.exe has crashed
        >For continued existence please reboot

      • Eileen Besse

        “Imagine, if you will….”

    • rumsey

      Wondered if the paper towels were Brawny or Sparkle brand, owned by the Koch brothers….

      • Viva La Tabula Raza

        Nope. Cheap store brand.

        • SeekingCovfefeBarbie

          Cheap store brands are one degree from useless.

        • richardgrabman

          … which are probably Koch Bros, as well. Almost all paper products from the United States are, if only indirectly.

    • IdiokraticCulturalMarxist
    • Shanzgood

      I thought Hairstrike Alpha was back.

    • SprinklemagicResistancebuns

      Clearly has never touched a paper towel in his life.

  • folderol

    [apologies to Gilbert and Sullivan]

    I am the very model of a modern U.S. President
    I have tweeted many tweets since I became Chief Resident
    I know the names of Fox and Friends, and even my Vice-President’s
    And there are those in Con-ger-ess I call out without hesitance

    I’m very well acquanted, too, with matters of intelligence
    I know better than those who have studied it with negligence
    About the Middle East, I am teeming with a lot of plans
    There will soon be peace I’m sure; I leave it in son Jared’s hands

    [CHORUS]
    There will soon be peace we’re sure; He left it in son Jared’s hands!
    There will soon be peace we’re sure; He left it in son Jared’s hands!
    There will soon be peace we’re sure; He left it in son Jared’s hands!

    I’m very good at drawing crowds of sizes unimaginable
    I know which news is fake or true, by whom it is ascribable
    In short, in matters factual, political, or experience
    I am the very model of a modern U.S. President!

    [CHORUS]
    In short, in matters of factual, political, or experience
    He is the very model of a modern U.S. President!

  • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

    This shit has made my day. If I can get just one salacious or humorous tidbit it helps keep me going.

    • EvanHurst

      Yup. Nobody is saying Bob Corker is great or anything. But it’s LOVELY to watch them fight.

      • Eileen Besse

        I am SORELY PINING for some great use of the English language of infamnia heah in this tweet fest!

  • TJ Barke

    It’s fun watching two people that suck get into a slap fight.

  • Jack Wants Gun Control

    That almost made me spit out my post hurricane bloody mary. Enjoy your brunch, Evan

  • Parakeetist

    Needs moar “motherfuckers.” Call me old-fashioned, but I like it when old people swear.

    • Walter Wellstone

      Oldz libulzzz!!!!1!!1!!

      • Paul

        IK,R? Get off our lawn!!!

        • C4TWOMAN

          Those crazy kids!
          (Shakes fist at cloud)

    • altleftjohn

      Whippersnapper.

  • Elvis Causticfellow

    He’s a real corker!

  • UnsaltedSinner
  • Walter Wellstone

    Donald can go cork himself.

  • janecita

    I love to see the Republican Party, fighting like the mindless snowflakes that they are.

  • uhm…aven’t Donnie’s endorsements been failing all over the place?
    Why would anyone beg for that?

    • Daniel

      Strange, I can’t think of anyone who would. Strange…

      • snicker.
        Someone should tweet Bob It is Strange of you to not want Trump’s endorsement. Big man strange even.

  • Manhattan123

    Someone obviously missed their shit this morning.

    • janecita

      That’s funny, because when I first read his tweet, I read it as “shit,” instead of “shift.”

  • SayItWithWookies

    All this over Corker not believing that slashing the everloving fuck out of taxes will increase revenue enough to pay for itself. It takes a brave man to take a stand against a policy that’s been demonstrably fallacious for thirty-five years.

    • JAKvirginia

      It’s been demonstrably false in basic math.

      • FlownΩver

        And in practice in basic Brownbackistan.

    • willi0000000

      don’t get excited because: one in a row.

      if he starts voting rationally (with empathy) on a continuing basis then . . . maybe ]

  • Jeffocaster in the West

    There was a character in the Rocky and Bullwinkle show named Wrongway Peachfuzz. You would do exactly opposite of what he said. In Donnie Fuckface’s case, it is everything he says is a lie and exactly opposite of the truth.

    • The Wanderer

      I believe that was Captain (later Commodore) Peachfuzz.

      • Elvis Causticfellow

        Wasn’t that feckless lieutenant in Beetle Bailey also named Peachfuzz?

        • The Wanderer

          No, Lt. Fuzz. And I hear that he was killed by his own troops.

          • Eileen Besse

            Animal House libelz!

  • Anna Elizabeth

    Enjoy your Brunch, Darlin’! :)

  • BloviateMe
    • The Wanderer
    • gallbladder

      Was the matter of how to properly cook a steak involved? I bet it was.

    • TundraGrifter

      “Here – hold my teeth.”

      • Shanzgood

        Hahahahaha!

      • Eileen Besse

        THIS.

  • susan_g

    Wonderful things can happen when you sow seeds of distrust in a garden of assholes. Watching cheeto and sleazy Bob go at it is wonderful indeed.

  • C4TWOMAN

    Reading Trump’s tweet s I was thinking “, how gauche and unprofessional”…then I saw Bobby’s burn and fell out of my chair.
    DAMN

    • Darlene Underdahl

      That was great. Right up there with moron.

  • GunToting[Redacted]

    In other news, Trump invented the concept of “fake:”
    http://www.nydailynews.com/news/politics/trump-created-word-fake-defends-puerto-rico-towels-article-1.3549242

    I’m looking forward to learning that he invented water.

    • altleftjohn

      I think he discovered fire too.

      • TundraGrifter

        If he did he wouldn’t have recognized it for what it was. He’d have burned his fingers, pissed on it, and called it a day.

        • FlownΩver

          After trying unsuccessfully to eat the stuff. Guy loses IQ competitions vs. dirt.

    • TundraGrifter

      I can remember when the Russians invented baseball.

      Do you think President Trump hates that guy in North Korea because he once had a perfect golf game – 18 holes-in-one?

    • tehbaddr

      Reminds me of when Paris Hilton wanted to copy write the phrase “that’s hot”.

      I recall The Dampnut trying to copy write the phrase “you’re fired!”. Idiots!

  • jesterpunk

    So Trump is going to continue attacking anyone who doesnt kiss his ass all the time? Please proceed Mr Trump.

    • C4TWOMAN

      What could go wrong?

      • jesterpunk

        He could destroy the republican party?

        • gallbladder

          …or the world.

          • jesterpunk

            Well yeah that too. I was trying to look on the bright side of life.

            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SJUhlRoBL8M

          • gallbladder

            One can never–and I mean fucking ever–go wrong with a well-placed Python reference.

        • C4TWOMAN

          Things are looking up already.

        • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

          cockroaches.

    • OrG

      Never rage twits putin.
      Weird.

      • jesterpunk

        He has never even mildly criticized Putin and even defended him on Lumpy’s show at the expense of the US.

        • Darlene Underdahl

          Interesting. He isn’t crazy and out-of-control when it comes to Putin. So he CAN turn it on and off.

          • Buzz1313

            And this is what every reporter in the so-called liberal media needs to drive home. Every time he criticizes a politician from thus country, Republican or Democrat, they need to point this out. He has NEVER said a word against Putin, despite all the shady shit Putin has thrown his way.

          • willi0000000

            you never say bad things about the guy who has his finger on the trigger of the bazooka that is currently up your ass!

        • Celtic_Gnome

          He’s afraid Putin’ll call in all his overdue loans if he pisses Vlad off.

    • TundraGrifter

      Of the many scary aspects of Mr. Trump’s personality, his obsessive need to make everything personal is one of the worst. Putin is a good guy because Mr. Trump thinks he once said something nice about it. (Or it could be all those Russian “investments” into his real estate projects, but that’s another story.) A world leader who dares to criticize him is a failure.

      Nations famously don’t have friends – they have alliances. It’s very important that it isn’t personal – because leaders come and go.

      • His biggest problem is that he things “friend” is someone kissing your ass. Whereas most adults know that kissing your ass is not friend, but looking to take advantage of you

    • Seriously. He’ll do everything possible to destroy any support he had.

  • WiscoJoe
    • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

      Nooo, and neither does any other person with their sanity intact.

      • tomamitai

        Putin LIBELZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111!!!!!!!!!!!

        • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

          Right, good point. I just wish the republican fans would remember, his interests are not OUR interests.

    • Looks like an artisan bagel to me! ELITIST SCUM!

      • WiscoJoe

        They forgoed the lox because “globalism.”

        • Querolous

          I thought it was (globalism.)

    • ryp

      Do you love waking up to find out you are out of coffee and cream cheese, and the toaster broke?

  • Root for Corker if you want… I’m still rooting for Giant Death Meteor that impacts Washington DC.

  • Bill D. Burger
  • Bill D. Burger
  • TheGrandWazoo2

    Jesus MSNBC…Kayleigh McEnany. Really?

    • Fair and balanced and the president bitched about equal time!!!!
      Wait.
      If he wants equal time, don’t they start having to have an equal number of liberals, instead of the usual 10-1?

  • Bill D. Burger
    • Ryan Denniston

      Today we are all with stupid. Not by choice either. Their mistake was genuinely liking the dumb.

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J0GHyHdI7Z8

      • bupkus231

        “Stop being the Dumb Party”? Consider the messenger….

  • Anna Elizabeth

    OT – men are funny. Just back from Big Lots, I’m ready for snow, now. As I left my complex, 2 guys in an Alleged Tuner – I had friends that were Import Tuner guys back in Colorado Springs – were pulling in. Black, uneven primer, a improperly set-up Wing, and body kit. They grounded out upon braking, and again as they turned past me.

    I heard them shouting something at someone in my complex, then back to the street, reaching the stop light just as I reached the same crosswalk. They tried to get my attention, but I ignored them.The grounded out again on Green, their engine note reminiscent of a garbage truck with bearing issues, and EDIT:reached the speed of me walking in a few seconds.. I would have started giggling but some Redneck called “Honey” -something at me so I just concentrated on the crosswalk.

    “How Ya’ Rollin’?”

    Barely.

    • gallbladder

      8 MPH in one second? How the hell is anything like that street-legal?!?

      • Anna Elizabeth

        Oops, damn typos again, it was 5 seconds, I could walk as fast as they pulled out, and they were thrashing the engine. xD

    • TheGrandWazoo2
      • Anna Elizabeth

        xD

      • Wait…that is not what those things are for?

        • gallbladder

          Lunch and dinner, maybe, but never breakfast.

      • bupkus231

        That shirt looks like the Maryland state flag ( I lived there for twenty years – but U never really paid attention ). Why would anyone want to wear that thing?

  • Bill D. Burger
    • Rags

      Needz moar morbid obesity.

      • gallbladder

        …and liver spots.

        • IdiotsforPalin

          and nasty sweat……

    • Ryan Denniston

      I moved on her very tremendously. It was a very exciting period of time. The calm before the storm I can tell you, believe me.

    • Anna Elizabeth

      Cadence/Marvel used to do “sweat” magazines back-in-the-day. Supposedly some Marvel female staffers would pose as the “victims” in photos as the above at times, like Stan Lee’s secretary Flo Steinberg, and artist extraordinaire Marie Severin.

  • Bill D. Burger
  • Bill D. Burger
  • Bill D. Burger
    • tomamitai

      Nixon LIBELZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111!!!!!!!!!!

      • Paul

        Who blackmailed Nixon? Was I smoking too much dope back then? Don’t recall that.

        • tomamitai

          It’s been said that Nixon ordered the break-in at the Democratic headquarters to see if they were preparing to reveal his interference in the Vietnam peace talks during the 1968 election campaign. I think they mentioned it in the new Ken Burns series about the war.

          • Paul

            Thanks. Haven’t seen that yet.

  • Bill D. Burger
  • Bill D. Burger

    Diaper Don golfed while Americans died.

    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DLoXI7bUIAEnYZw.jpg

  • Bill D. Burger

    “It’s a shame the White House has become an adult day care center. Someone obviously missed their shift this morning.”

    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DLoW5IEVwAAd7Jc.jpg

  • Alright, Corker, time to 25 45!

  • Bill D. Burger

    Putin’s Pawn is a fcking coward. Put a ‘Corker’ in it Ol’ Yeller’!

    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DLoc3jNX4AAR_z1.jpg

  • Bill D. Burger
  • Carpe Vagenda

    So, the other confederate candidate in VA just gave the Democrat an excuse to run against Trump.

    https://twitter.com/RalphNortham/status/916442730951213057

    • The ads here have been ALL Ms13 and Human Trafficking!
      There is a lady republican running for Lt. Gov and her ad, I kid you not, was all about how she is for women’s issues, like fighting human trafficking and keeping pedophiles off the street.
      They literally have nothing.

      • Carpe Vagenda

        That’s… unsurprising
        .

    • bupkus231

      ” …is nothing more than a page from Donald Trump’s book.”

      Uh oh, Ralphie – you just convinced thousands of Virginia rednecks that Ed Gillespie is Gawd!

      • Carpe Vagenda

        He’s running on the carpet bag confederate’s platform. I’m sure they already do.

        • bupkus231

          The thing is, Gillespie has tried to distance himself from Rump – so anything Northam says against Rump will lead the rednecks to forget that little detail about Gillespie ( you know they have the same tiny attention span as Rump )…

          • Carpe Vagenda

            I don’t know VA politics, obviously, but isn’t it at least enough of a bluish shade of purple that he can afford to ignore wingnuts more than persuadable moderates?

          • bupkus231

            Well, that’s one of the resaons why Gillespoe has tried to “distance” himself from Rump – because VA went blue in the last election. But, it’s still a hotbed of rightwing bullshit ( the state government is a perfect example of Republican gerrymandering ) – the rednecks can still swing an election.

            It really is a sign of desperation for Gillespie’s campaign to engage in the type of racial scare tactics represented by these MS-13 “charges” ( which really have no basis in reality ). Perhaps Gillespie will “distance” himself from these ads – but it is damned clear that they put them out there ( Rump’s tweets are divorced from the campaign, but they are the typical Republican playbook, and the rubes will eat ’em up )

  • Jonny On Maui

    Brunch! Yes!

    There’s a dish here called Loco Moco. Rice, hamburger patty, egg over easy and gravy. That’s the basic.

    The best one I’ve had used shrimp fried rice, a crab cake, poached egg and hollandaise sauce. It was fantastic! Now I want.

    • Anna Elizabeth

      Damn, Anna want also too. :)

      But hey, I bought Canned Clam…Chowder at the store. .65 cents per can, can’t pass that up. :)

      • Shanzgood
        • Anna Elizabeth

          xD LOL!

          • Shanzgood

            My son sent me and his sister that after they were both trolling me via text, saying “Mom is like THIS right now!” He was right!

          • Anna Elizabeth

            Cute! :D

      • Jonny On Maui

        New England or Manhattan? I don’t care for the red type…

        • Anna Elizabeth

          New England. :) And, agreed.

          Healthy Choice brand, Ima sure it’ll be OK with lots of fresh-ground Pepper.

          • Jonny On Maui

            Tabasco works well too.

          • Anna Elizabeth

            Always! :D

    • Carpe Vagenda

      I thought they called it loco moco on Hawaii 5-0?

      • Jonny On Maui

        Yeah. Autocorrect is a bitch…

        • Carpe Vagenda

          It’s a fan fictional staple. The epic vertically-diverse love of Steve and Danny, eating loco moco. Which sounds an awful lot like the kasha varnishkes topped with beef in mushroom gravy with scrambled eggs on the side I used to get from Kiev when I was in school…

    • Rachel Book Harlot

      I’m not going to tell you what Moco means in Puerto Rico.

      • Jonny On Maui

        Thank you! It’s still early here…

  • So Dinesh D’Souza thought it was a good idea to defend Hitler on Twitter. The resulting Tweetstorm is one for the ages.

    https://twitter.com/DineshDSouza/status/916318446387978240

    • Basically then Dinesh is saying Hitler is better than the current GOP?

      • UnsaltedSinner

        I think he meant to say that the GOP is better than Hitler, because they hate gay people more.

    • IdiotsforPalin

      Dinesh…rentboy.com called, your credit card was denied.

      • Crank Tango

        Now THAT I don’t believe for a second.

        I’m sure he has several backup cards on there, plus PayPal.

      • bupkus231

        I would have said his employment application was rejected….

    • jesterpunk

      Didnt Dinesh D’Fraud say liberals are the real Nazis? Now he is defending Nazis?

    • RobKanC

      Not surprised. Hitler is highly valued in Asian right wing circles.

      • UnsaltedSinner

        Weirdly, he seems to be quite popular among Asians in general.

        • RobKanC

          Years of life under pseudo-socialism does that to you.

        • Ill-Advised

          He praised their civilization and history as older than Germany’s. That may have helped.

    • tomamitai

      I guess d’stupid never heard of the night of the long knives?

    • OrdinaryJoe

      You know who else was a convicted felon who spent all his time after prison writing maniacal right wing self justifications that bubbled from the steaming cesspool of hate in his brain?

  • Bill D. Burger

    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DLoWgRhUEAA6Tm6.jpg

    “Well….You’re such a colicky widdle’ yellow haired pantspooper….aren’t you? Someday, after you spend your life looking, you might get a clue.”

    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DLoafV7VwAELsDZ.jpg

    • RobKanC

      I read that as shit, which also makes sense if you think about it. Constipation is a bitch.

      • H0mer0

        I’ve heard of the hazards of hoisting a worked up baby with your face in line with the trajectory of vomit, should it come to pass.

  • You are my muse, Evan.

  • Bill D. Burger

    Just as Trump teed off….someone shouted {{{{ Mueller! }}}}

    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DLocJi-XUAIE5PS.jpg

    • Rebel Scum with permit

      And then the murders began…..

  • Carpe Vagenda
  • Anna Elizabeth

    Dampnut loves Bob Corker from the Heart of his Bottom.

    Anypony else think Dampnut’s Tweets about Corker read like a guy that got Nuclear Rejected by the Hottest Chick at the Club?

    • Daniel

      Kim Jon Ung is shaking his head and saying “have some self respect, man.”

      • Anna Elizabeth

        LOL Nice!

  • Bill D. Burger

    “Bob Corker! Be afraid…be very afraid! I will moiderize’ you with my tiny bare hands!”

    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DLochqoW4AAvVtD.jpg

  • jesterpunk
  • Bill D. Burger

    Someone put a ‘Corker’ in Trump’s attempt to stop the Russian sanctions legislation from passing. Hmmmmm….wonder who that could have been?

    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DLoXFBZWsAAvAGW.jpg

  • James

    Manufactured poutrage from the Vice-President:

    I left today's Colts game because @POTUS and I will not dignify any event that disrespects our soldiers, our Flag, or our National Anthem.— Vice President Pence (@VP) 8 October 2017

    (thread of five tweets followed by a press release)

    An awful lot of the comments are freakin’ hilarious. Unfortunately, the Secret Service expense for this stunt isn’t.

    Perhaps it’s Pence’s turn to babysit, as Bob Corker suggested was needed?

    • TJ Barke

      Fucking resign, traitor!

    • RobKanC

      If he really wants to not disrespect or soldiers, our flag and our national anthem, he would resign as Vice President. But no, railing against black ppl is easy.

      • James

        Well, it’s not like the Colts have moved before. I hear San Antonio is trying to attract them. If Pence manages to organise a boycott against the Colts, they’ll leave (along with all the ancillary business they bring to others).

    • Bill D. Burger

      Pence is the leader of the American TEAlibangelicals. He a cold, cruel extremist pigfucker. Sorry pigs! That was mean.

      https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/372523973d38c54fa505526b6f48177b2427725e274dbd8d19c60a7120347d7a.jpg

    • bubbuhh
      • The presence of two man-babies dignifies an event?

      • H0mer0

        No Pence, YOU and @POTUS are disrespecting our soldiers with your ineptitude, sexism, racism and homophobia. The Anthem and flag are not people and therefore cannot be disrespected. Neither you nor @POTUS served but I did.

    • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

      So only the Army? What about sailors, airmen and marines?

  • UnsaltedSinner

    If you ever feel like getting rid of Mike Pence, you now know what to do.

    https://twitter.com/edatpost/status/917079706008260608

    • Anna Elizabeth

      “Mother! They dissed the Flag, Apple Pie, and Colt! again!”

      “There, there, Michael. Mother will make it all betters. Who wants an Enema?”

      • gallbladder

        Apple pie?!? That’s where I draw the fucking line, especially when served with a couple slices of cheddar.

        • Anna Elizabeth

          Good man! I love good Sharp Cheddar on my Apple Pie. :)

          • Shanzgood

            Waaat?! Who DOES that?!

          • SisterArtemis

            lotsa folks, apparently. Never have taken to the combo, though I like both separately, and I like a nice snack of cheese and apple slices.

          • Shanzgood

            I guess it’s no worse than ice cream…

          • Anna Elizabeth

            I do. It’s delicious. :D The contrast between the sweet apples and spices and the Sharp cheese is exquisite.

          • Celtic_Gnome

            You want a fun set of contrasting tastes? Try brie covered in hot fudge sauce.

          • Anna Elizabeth

            OOOh, I adore Brie, I’ll try this when I can. :)

          • OrdinaryJoe

            Prefer a dab or many of sour cream.

        • janecita

          Apple pie with cheddar cheese crust or GTFO!!!

        • Celtic_Gnome

          My grandfather liked a slice of swiss cheese on his, heated in the oven just enough to melt the cheese.

    • gallbladder

      So, leaving a protest as protest to that which shouldn’t ever disrespected or protested? Interesting.

    • janecita

      Snowflake ❄️

    • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

      Pence HATES America and the flag and the troops and the vets and the first responders and God and Jeebus and also the troops.

      • Anna Elizabeth

        I am a pedantic B’ I know, but I always want to say “Troops of what?”

        A “Troop” is what British Cavalry calls a platoon, and American Cavalry calls a Company of Troopers. Cavalry Troopers.

        There are also Paratroopers.

        • MizzMazz

          Hey, Anna, good morning.
          The people I work with (dolts, mostly) refer to the troops as each individual soldier. I thought that didn’t sound right, but what do I know? Buncha soldiers, the ‘Troops’

          • Anna Elizabeth

            Hey Sweetie. :) How are you?

            I’m sure it’s correct English and alls to say “The Troops” but it sounds awkward to me for the reasons I stated.

          • MizzMazz

            Yeah, and to put everyone under the same umbrella is ludicrous, kind of like how we should respect all policemen. I hate that “Thank you for your service” shit, like everyone in the armed services is a good person who did good things. It’s too much like ‘Prayers and thoughts’ to me.

          • Anna Elizabeth

            Indeed. Plus, my friends that were in hated it too. One guy said he had to stop getting a snack on his way home from Ft. Carson cos if he was in uniform, people would send their little kids over to say the Pledge of Allegiance and shit, and he just wanted a quick bite.

          • MizzMazz

            I have one co-worker (who I have to see in a few minutes, icky-rooo!) who likes to fist bump the soldiers. It’s offensive to many of them (he has never served, but has a hard on for them) but he doesn’t get that. Off I go, catch you later.

          • Anna Elizabeth

            Ick, Aye.

            ~hugs~ Have a good day, Sweetie! :)

        • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

          I know what you mean. The meaning of “troop” has evolved into a muddled mess as if “troop” is an individual soldier. And you can almost see why. There is no word I can think of for generic military person. “Soldiers and sailors and Marines and airmen” or troop/troops.

          • Anna Elizabeth

            yes, it does seem like we need a better general descriptor.

    • Better story, WaPo….
      Who do you think paid for his tickets, his plane, and his hotel bill so he could go and walk out on a game?

      • Anna Elizabeth

        OT, Jen will thee Smite thine enemies with thy mitie thews?

    • Steely_Fan

      The most hi-larious part of this is the notion that Pence’s and/or the Moran in Chief’s presence dignifies any event.

    • Opalescent Riddles

      You signed on to this so-called president’s ticket, Pence. His regime’s almost every action disrespects US citizens, troops, and everything our country supposedly stands for. Put your money where your mouth is and walk out.

      BOOM.

  • Bill D. Burger
    • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

      Also nothing will make your father love you.

  • bbayliss

    My letter to Corker:
    Dear staffer reading this for the senator;
    It has been clear since January 20th that republicans made a terrible mistake in enabling trump to become president of our country.
    Equally clear is the fact that only republicans have had the power to right this wrong.
    Our constitution was written with the foresight to deal with an unfit president, what they did not foresee was an unfit congress.
    If you intend to bring impeachment charges against this man/child you need to do it before there can be further damage to our international standing, rule of law, and to the institutions that have made us the standard of the world.
    That the only republicans willing to speak out are those who do not face reelection is telling, and sad.
    When facing the inevitable it is better to be the first to speak and thought honorable than the last to speak and thought to be weak and shameful.

    • SisterArtemis

      Like your salutation.

    • Panika MCD

      I’m glad you took the time to write Sen. Corker, but I would like to offer a few critiques to make future letters to elected officials more effective. (unless this is just a non-comments post.)

      first: a staffer reading the mail is not altogether a bad thing. it’s probably a few staffers because the initial staffer would be forwarding it to the staffer who is designated to that area of policy before it hits the senator’s desk if at all. implying that their boss is lazy and somehow the staffers are less important is not going to get you very far when a simple “To whom it may concern;” will do the same in a non-insulting manner.

      I always like to add (in a more elegant manner than the following) that if there was Russian fuckery in the general, there was probably Russian fuckery in both primaries so that the Republicans you are trying to communicate with feel like you are sympathetic to the fact that their party is being taken over by a bunch of torch wavers (which is not dissimilar to our insurgency of BoBs–purist are fuckers and we should be able to commiserate on this) as well as empowering them with some direction to go in. we want them to act in a productive manner, not retire to the scouring of their backs with whips.

      NICE on the “Equally clear…” this empowerment would underscore the previous suggestion.

      but then you go back to calling all of congress unfit which implies that they are hopeless and may as well not take action at all as it will get nowhere.

      absent just cause: if you think they have the information they need to act on impeachment charges, lay it out. (though my understanding is the House has to act first, so you’d also have to name who you hope they will be working with on the matter in coming weeks.)

      and then we come to the end where you’re saying only people who have announced that they will retire at the conclusion for their current terms which calls into question why you are sending it to just such a person. it’s a STRONG portion of your letter, but the intended audience of Bob Corker and staff doesn’t really seem fitting. it sounds more like the conclusion to a letter which should be sent to those who aren’t speaking out.

      • Ill-Advised

        (Takes notes)

        • Panika MCD

          any time you want editorial advice in this capacity, I’m available. I’ve managed to get letters back from the offices of pretty much everyone not named Ted Cruz who I’ve tried to contact.

    • bupkus231

      Good letter – only pedantic point: The House brings impeachment charges, not the Senate. The Senate holds the trial and vote on the charges.

    • A LITtle Annoyed, Yet ARoused

      PS: And send Pence packing as well.

      • coozledad

        Extreme Frank Zappa voice:

        If it looks like mayonnaise and smells like dookie
        You can bet your ass it’s whiteboy kabuki
        When they jerk their cranks to the flag, mom and troops
        It’s fruitloop bukake for the fruit of the loops.

        Pence don’t stick his dick in “Mama”.
        He’s a fundie. That ain’t his dharma.
        He likes them boys in the bible study
        They in there givin’ themselves a woody.
        If God didn’t make them tight pink asses
        Pence wouldn’t need no reading glasses.

  • Scooby

    Next time someone misses the morning shift we may find out WWIII has started.

    • It won’t have a number. It will be WW, the Finale.

  • stumpknocker

    the day we take trump down should become a national holiday. make it a lesson this country never forgets.

    • Shanzgood

      Just in case, we should put up some statues.

      • stumpknocker

        think of the children, should they see a giant dick at their young age?

        • Shanzgood

          It’s already all over the TV all the time.

        • SisterArtemis

          They can let their dogs pee on it.

        • dlemex

          And those orange statues of the traitor-in-chief, while OF a big dick, shows that the truth of the situation is… “there is not much there!” Come to think of it, trump shares many other traits of Thénardier.

      • PersianOregano

        Statues to Bob Mueller you mean

    • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

      Dancing in the street! By me, if no one else.

      • H0mer0

        “It doesn’t matter what you wear, just as long as you are there!”

        (which includes pants)

  • Jamoche

    Aw, were his little fee-fees hurt?
    http://www.sfgate.com/49ers/article/Vice-President-Pence-leaves-49ers-game-in-12262074.php

    Eight minutes after the start of today’s game between the 49ers and Colts, Vice President Mike Pence said, via Twitter, that he’d left Lucas Oil Stadium in response to a group of 49ers who knelt during the national anthem to protest social inequality.

    • OrG

      Nope. Fee-fees not hurt. This was a publicity stunt.

      • Bobathonic

        “Looka me! I’m a delicate snowflake!”

      • m3bosha

        Hmmm. Interesting perspective. My first thought was the fee-fees. But to wait 8 minutes into the game? Def just trying to get distract attention off of real shit going on. Doesn’t Pence know the NFL players kneeling aren’t the shiny object it was two weeks ago?

    • Carpe Vagenda

      I think it’s part of an ongoing series in which Pence walks out of things more popular than he is that his base can’t afford. First Hamilton, then football, next cutting the line to walk out of 6 Flags to protest them taking down the confederate flag and a quick dine and dash at French Laundry.

      • Dont be silly. The Taxpayers are footing the bill for him to walk out on things

        • Carpe Vagenda

          The man came to New York City to become the Vice Presidential candidate for his party and took his family to a Chili’s on Staten Island to celebrate. I don’t believe he thinks decent food should be paid for.

    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      Good riddance….

    • They are still trying to make that a thing.
      And Pence is probably now worried that, after impeachment, he won’t be a shoe in for 20

    • TJ Barke

      HOW DARE THOSE FOOTBALL PLAYERS EXERCISE THEIR 1ST AMENDMENT RIGHTS!?

  • Bill D. Burger

    Apologies to Nounverb…..Your word of the day: MISPRISION

    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DLn9XOYXkAEsfwG.jpg

    • James

      It’s been the word of the day long before the election (maybe extending back into the GOP Primaries).

  • Bill D. Burger
  • Bill D. Burger

    Did a Google search: *who is getting impeached very soon*

    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DLnxKnrWkAAQ-Yl.jpg

  • Bill D. Burger

    Posted on reddit: Caption: “Looked at my sandwich and knew it reminded me of something. Then it dawned on me. ___ Threw that shit in the garbage.”

    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DLnxd_4W0AAvNXJ.jpg

  • Bill D. Burger

    Who really chose Rexxit’ anyway? Putin or Moron Don?

    “Potaat-O…..Potaaah-TOE”

    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DLoJbYvVoAA93Nk.jpg

    • The adventures of blobfish and catfish!
      (all apologies to our beloved Blobfish)

    • OrdinaryJoe

      Moron Don

      Bwhahahhahahhahahahahhhaahahhhahaahahahha

  • James

    Your tax dollars at work by fiscal conservatives (/s not needed, nice to know our taxes are being used to pay for conservative poutage and stunts):

    .@VP is now currently holding at his Indianapolis hotel. He will fly to California this aftrn after flying from Vegas for this last night.— Vaughn Hillyard (@VaughnHillyard) 8 October 2017

    As media pool has been made aware, a staffer told pool that VPOTUS may depart the game early. Did not indicate how early. https://t.co/G1f2WljJAW— Vaughn Hillyard (@VaughnHillyard) 8 October 2017

    • bupkus231

      Per that last – it sure makes it appear as if Pence planned this walkout, no matter whether any players protested or not. Kinda takes away from the idea that Pence was “offended”, doesn’t it?

  • Bill D. Burger
    • Querolous

      O my!

  • Bill D. Burger

    Dotard Don: The Poorly Educated’s Con

    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DLogL8mUQAAKZWV.jpg

  • lucidamente
  • BosGrl

    OT: ​ Vice President Mike Pence leaves NFL game because of players who protested
    http://wcvb.com/article/vice-president-mike-pence-leaves-colts-game-because-of-players-who-protested/12804778?src=app

    • lol, the only one to actually do as Trump suggested XD

      • therblig

        probably the only reason he went in the first place – to make his little statement.

    • ariel_gee_398

      Alternate headline: NFL player protest causes reduction in number of assholes at game.

  • Relativicus

    “Corker totally loves me and I saw him write Mrs. Bob Trump on his Trapper Keeper like a million bazillion times and he wants to marry me and have my babies but he’s a baby the big baby and I told him NO! Bob the Baby I am not going to marry you no matter how much you love me because I don’t like babies you baby. Bob the baby. Baby Bobby. Ooo! Baby Bob the Baby Bobby Bob Baby! LOL!!! SQUEEeee3333EEEE!!!!1,,1!”

    – @RealDonaldTrump

  • Bill D. Burger

    Hey Dotard Don. You forgot who rejected whom first, huh?

    HE said no thanks to being your VP. Remember? He TURNED YOU DOWN being VP. Yeah, nooo thaaanks.

    “Corker Withdraws Name from Potential Trump VP Picks”

    https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/post-politics/wp/2016/07/06/corker-withdraws-as-potential-trump-running-mate/?utm_term=.01a2e9257363

    • As with all things Trump, he screams and rages that he was the one who quit first

  • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

    I’m guessing Corker is a Yes vote for impeachment now.

    • miss_grundy

      I guess since he’s retiring he has nothing to lose.

  • Bill D. Burger

    Meanwhile in Puerto Rico the aid from the Moron n’ Thief, Dotard Donny arrives at last:

    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DLnxKjjUEAA7-kK.jpg

    • eyelashviper

      What, no Play Doh?

  • Bill D. Burger
    • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

      Photo of Little Babby Donnie next to definition of dotard illustrates the adage: One picture is sometimes worth one word.

  • Bill D. Burger
  • Bill D. Burger
    • jesterpunk

      Many people don’t know the Vegas shooter is very smart.

      • FukuiSanYesOta

        More and more people are saying this.

  • We have a petulant child as our leader, and a grown man who calls his partner “mother,” second in line. That’s what happens when America gets rufied by Russia.

    • Nockular cavity

      I just want my kidneys back.

  • Bill D. Burger
  • So.
    Who is doing the number crunching to figure out how much it cost tax payers for Pence to fly to Indiana, hole up in a hotel, get tickets to a game, and then walk out on it?
    I want to know the dollar amount.
    And I want that pasted in every story about him walking out.

  • Bill D. Burger
  • lucidamente

    Meanwhile, in annals of fucktardery:

    https://twitter.com/VP/status/917074120084516865

    • How much did it cost the tax payers for you to play your stunt, Pence?

    • Then why haven’t both of you resigned?

    • Apparently, the soldiers – flesh and blood humans who sacrifice their lives – don’t deserve to be capitalized.

    • BloviateMe

      “Mr. Bo Jingoist, daaance.”

    • TJ Barke

      Huh. No event you attended today did any of those things…

    • eyelashviper

      Mother ordered him home, there were womens there, the horror.

    • OrG

      LIAR! I saw you at the republican convention.

    • FukuiSanYesOta

      He really left because he’s only just realized that Fleener doesn’t play for the Colts any more.

    • SayItWithWookies

      “I attended today’s Colts game so I could say I left it because it disrespected the flag.”

    • Charon_69

      a nugget of truth-it wouldn’t be possible for them to dignify any event

      • Dudleydidwrong

        The only dignity occurred when he had departed.

    • why does twitter force you to have a phone number?
      I do not like.
      I just wanted to ask Pence how much it cost tax payers to fly to Indiana, have a hotel and food and security, purchase an NFL ticket, and walk out again

      • Self-righteousness is a luxury few Americans can afford.

        • exactly my point. I am serious, I want a dollar amount

    • At his sermon speech in Las Vegas, Pence called the massacre a “tragedy of unimaginable proportions.”
      It’s only unimaginable when you close your eyes to reality, as evangelicals are prone to do. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/1dfcc7aa22df0243915f8ba5e645115c3ac0c6f0a0cf5c5703e6c52ec15c8868.jpg
      Oh mother…

      • miss_grundy

        Or when you are beholden to the NRA.

    • Bill D. Burger

      So Preacher Pence is into required patriotism? Sounds a tad FASCIST there you Christofascist piece of shit. ___ Harsh? Yup! But you deserve that Mikey.

    • Teecha

      Bell end. Just a piece of cloth and a song.
      Walloping great pissflap of a man

    • miss_grundy

      Nah, the asshole left because he can’t stand seeing uppity black people protesting police brutality. When will liberals point out the protests are against white cops killing POC. Like too many Christianists, he is just a fake holy roller.

  • Carpe Vagenda
    • TJ Barke

      Nerd libel!

      • Carpe Vagenda

        I think it’s a pretty sharp take.

  • FukuiSanYesOta

    So, let’s ask Luther Strange how much a Two Scoops endorsement means.

    What’s that? It’s his shift at Dunkin Donuts? Well, we’ll ask him when he gets out.

    • Which group of us is heading to Alabama to campaign for the Democrat?

      • FukuiSanYesOta

        The thought of a bunch of pantless yahoos yelling at Roy Moore fills me with joy.

        • That image is in my head now and i am finding it difficult not to giggle

          • could fit it in on the ark trip? I mean, we’re goin that way anyway to steal the thing….

          • Do we really trust the manufacuring capabilities of people who don’t recognize science?

          • FukuiSanYesOta

            We’ll tell ’em the truck uses fuel cells and they’ll be too busy screaming to notice when we nick it.

          • But they used bible science!
            And we got gorilla glue

        • Christopher Story

          Assless chaps?

    • ariel_gee_398

      I think this time of year his main gig is scarecrow in corn maze.

  • I am waiting to be picked up for Thanksgiving dinner with the fam damily. Already so tired

  • Buzz1313

    Didn’t that smart, overqualified blond lady warn us about this idiot’s temperament last summer? Didn’t she tell us to be wary of ragetweeter Trump? Why isn’t she president again? I need reminding…

    • eyelashviper

      Pants suits, emails, dontcha remember?

      • TakingAmes

        Vagina, also too.

      • FukuiSanYesOta

        Been gharzi or summat, I think.

        • miss_grundy

          Yesterday, there was an asshat Michigander who had a bumper sticker on his car that said “Four people died in Benghazi and Hillary lied”. I am personally so tired of asshats who make these four people who died in Benghazi out to be saints. Three of those men had served in the armed forces in Iraq and Afghanistan. You would think after serving in those two wars, they would have known better than to serve as military contractors in a country like Libya after Muammar Ghadafi was deposed and executed, knowing that the place was going to slide into hell. And the man who served as information technologist should have done his homework and known better than to take an assignment in that country. But supposedly, it was all Hillz’ and Obama’s faults because Faux News says so.

          • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

            How many Americans (as well as nonAmericans but the idiots don’t care about that) have died since 9/11 in Afghanistan, Iraq, Syria, Niger etc.?

          • miss_grundy

            That same clown probably doesn’t know and doesn’t care. But Benghazi!!!!

      • gallbladder

        Pizza.

    • Raan

      Because Putin said no.

    • Nockular cavity

      SHE THINKS SHE’S BETTER THAN EVERYBODY ELSE, or so idiots keep telling me.

      • And you tell them “But, she is?”

        • FukuiSanYesOta

          Was just about to post the same thing.

    • Oh there was many reasons. She was just as bad, and shrill, and a shill, and a neoliberal elite, and her husband, and her emails, and she was too weak, and she was too old, and she was a she, and she was sick, and she was too cold, and she did not smile enough, and she smiled too much, and she wore pants, and she parked her van once, and……

      • Teecha

        BUTTER KNEEMAILS

    • jesterpunk

      She studied and was prepared.

    • OrG

      Rethug cheating, with russian help.
      The end.

    • A LITtle Annoyed, Yet ARoused

      …the Electoral college, too many fucking people not voting at all, etc, etc….

  • The British have a little saying, oh how does it go…

    When you do something for short term gain–you know something that makes you feel good today–but is counterproductive in the long run?

    Like when you save money on maintenance but it ends up costing you more in the long run?
    https://i.imgflip.com/1x948i.jpg

    Or when you insult a Senator whom which you desperately need his vote?

  • Bill D. Burger

    Nostrodumbass made a prophetic promisorial pronouncement in 2015….and he has been proven true:

    https://www.newscorpse.com/Pix/Campaign-2016/trump-hell-hole.jpg

    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DLn2SBsVYAIefDS.jpg

    • Nockular cavity

      Oh, any one of those can be fatal–to Democrats.

      • Still would be fatal to Democrats.
        Bet Edwards wants to rage punch some people tho

    • miss_grundy

      What has changed is that we have allowed the media to promote idiocy in America. If we had real journalists in this country instead of media interested in ratings and circulation numbers, Fuckface von Clownstick would have been run out of the race the day after his announcement. But because these assholes believed in the clown show they let this shite pass. In the meantime, they had Hillz look like a war criminal because they knew that she wasn’t going to cower and run away.

      And for that reason I believe there aren’t enough bad things you can say to any “journalist” to their face, or their social media or even in a “Letter to the Editor”. They deserve the expletives because they chose laziness, ratings and creating fake news instead of reporting the truth about this jerk.

      • BeachBum

        I thought it was just for $$.

  • Me not sure

    Even though I’m happy to hear anyone call the White House an “adult day-care center”, I’ve got no use for Corker. He ran a really dispicable racist campaign against Harold Ford for that Senate seat.
    https://youtu.be/24rM3–lIv8

  • fawkedifiknow

    Corker’s tweet is a corker.

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      “Bob Barker is a howl.”

      From the august publication Mad magazine.

  • Fartknocker

    It’s so inspiring to the majority of Americans that the President and a Senator are behaving like two shit slinging monkeys at the zoo because everything is just so lovely in Puerto Rico, North Korea and jobs are great and health care is awesome and women are equally respected and paid.

    Excuse me while I go get another hit of Walter White’s blue meth.

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      I’m going to confess – I straight up LOVE it that Corker is shit talking Trump. He’s said he’s not fit to be president, and now he’s saying he’s a man baby. These are things all sane people know, but it’s good to hear one of his own calling him a moron.

      • Fartknocker

        I laughed when I read this awesome Wonkette story. Part of my laughter is the frustration as to how much of a fucking lame duck we have for Dotus, the petulant man child. If I was Corker, I would have asked to go to the White House, told Trump to go fuck himself in person and to resign. We have more than an enough information about Trump to impeach him under the Emolument provision of the COTUS.

        • DOTUS, ha!

          Brings up an excellent question..
          https://i.imgflip.com/1x98i5.jpg

        • Vagenda and Pee-ara

          Good luck trying to get Paul Ryan and Mitch McConnell to try and impeach one of their own. Trump is going to have to be caught boning Vladimir Putin, and shouting “I hate America and it’s dumb rubes” before his base will turn on him, and Ryan and McConnell could give two shits what’s best for America.

          • If he gets below 30, they will get rid of him.
            It is what finally moved the cons to tell Nixon to GTFO

          • Fartknocker

            I agree completely with your assessment.

    • WotsAllThisThen

      I seem to remember Trump voters saying the world is going to respect America. I wonder how that’s working out.

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        They only watch Fox News, so they have no clue that the rest of the world thinks Trump is bonkers.

        • SeekingCovfefeBarbie

          I wonder if they’d even care what the rest of the world thinks. Neener, neener!

        • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

          ^^^THIS

  • Charon_69

    the ‘adult daycare’ line needed to come from a Republican; only hope this is the start of the fever/dam breaking

    • AnnieGetYerFun

      I dunno. It seems like the people who love him do so event more feverishly as the mainstream rejects him.

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸

    Still unclear as to how Corker hurt tinybaby Orangeman feefees. But wondering if I should care.

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      He’s said quite a few things about Dump, all of them true and accurate, but POTUS can’t take ANY criticism. Corker had said a while ago he thought Trump was unfit to be president.

    • gallbladder

      The bigger worry is the way Drumpf will go about reconstituting his fragile ego (see: nuclear codes)

    • Jack Takes A Knee

      Corker’s guilty of the same crime that the media and Democrats are; Speaking accurately about Donnie Two-Scoops.

  • miss_grundy

    Words are cheap. Actions are better. If he wants me to have any respect for him, he should march into the Oval Office and spank the brat who is sitting behind the Resolute desk. And make sure that he films it and disseminates it on social media.

    • marxalot

      Kinky.

    • Maybe he could even tease about when it was going to go down.

      “Something big is going to happen. Believe me.”

  • Vagenda and Pee-ara

    Trump as a teenager: “so I asked this bitch out, and she said “no.” She’s obviously a dyke.”

    • gallbladder

      Drumpf as an adult as well.

      • Raan

        And as a senior, too.

        I wouldn’t be surprised if that’s Trump at every single stage of his life.

        “I grabbed her by the titty. They let you do it when you’re a baby, you can do anything.”

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        Touche.

    • Spot on.

    • AnnieGetYerFun

      “Oh, she’s married to a man? I meant that she is ugly and I never asked her out because of how ugly she is. Yeah, that’s it.”

  • WotsAllThisThen

    Seems like things were easier for Trump when he was the only one insulting people. But now that everyone’s doing it, what’s his edge?

    • Bill D. Burger

      MSM always makes sure he gets top billing?

    • bupkus231

      Nasty Gansett! Haven’t had one of those in YEARS!

  • nightmoth

    Cold! Bob Corker. I like it.
    OT: I’ve had brunch, and I need to say I’m glad to be here at Wonkette today BECAUSE we went to a wedding last night–some of the husband’s wealthy branch—and one of the cousins, a teacher (!) got on a tear about her miscreant daughter who was SO upset because mama and daddy voted for Trump, and she went off to Thailand despite mama’s warning about white slavers getting her, and she’s just lucky that didn’t happen, and she called her sister a bible-thumper and she’ll NEVER be able to live in south Georgia again if she doesn’t change her attitude—-
    So I couldn’t say shit because it was a WEDDING, for chrissakes, and I wound up not sleeping because I was so mad, and now I have a headache, the end. But I’m really happy to have this vile snark mob where I can unburden myself. Thank you.

    • Anna Elizabeth

      ~hugs~ It’s too bad this cousin didn’t feel the same about bringing up drama at weddings as you do, huh?

      • nightmoth

        Really! Drink champagne, kiss the bride and stfu.

        • Anna Elizabeth

          IK,R?

          So, what the Gown look like?

          • nightmoth

            Haha–gurl! Pretty basic–exposed shoulders but no cleavage, small train–ivory white–that faintly yellow color.

          • Anna Elizabeth

            Sounds lovely, if conservative. :)

          • nightmoth

            It was sweet–it really was. Low-key, but lovely. Shed a few tears.

          • Anna Elizabeth

            :) I’m almost sure to never get married, but I love weddings and all the traditional accoutements.

            I’m hoping to be at least consulted on a dress someday.

          • Maggielle

            No one will ever consult me, ever since I said if I ever walked down the aisle, which I won’t, I’d want to carry a big bouquet of basil leaves. Everybody’s like, okay, basil is good, um, thanks for your input, and just email us with your other ideas, kthx.

          • Anna Elizabeth

            OOh, the aroma would be divine! :)

          • Maggielle

            This is what’s important: color, neckline, sleeves, if any, fit. And please do that for the bridesmaid dresses, too. I love that stuff even though I’ve never been married and never will get married. I love to admire the nice stuff and to gently mock the funny stuff, and I genuinely appreciate the funny stuff, I’m not mean about it.

          • nightmoth

            Bridesmaids didn’t match in style, which was refreshing—just all cobalt blue in color. It was country-themed, so the wedding party all wore boots, and the guys wore green checked shirts with brown vests and khaki pants.

          • Maggielle

            I like the color matching without the stye matching. And I think brown vests and green checked shirts have to be cuter than any cummerbund.

          • JAKvirginia

            Well that wedding sounded like FUN! Forget the bitch….

      • That is what I say. If they bring it up? It is fucking fair game.

        • Anna Elizabeth

          Me too, Hun. Don’t start It, wont be Shit.

          • Perzactly.
            Weirdly, I thought this would piss off some of my tea baggin co workers. It has not. They have now decided to ask me about things they “read” on the intertubes.

          • Anna Elizabeth

            Huh. That surprises me as well. I wonder if you might have opened some minds slightly?

          • I am not sure. You know how I keep tellin ya’ll how people will just…tell me shit?
            I think it has to have something to do with that. Or, it could be what I have long suspected: Because liberals care about people, we have kept our mouths shut for so long, and they have taken that silence as agreement. When they realize someone they know does NOT agree, it sets them back a pace.
            Of course, this puts the onus on me to make sure I have sufficient knowledge and back up sources. But I do not mind.

          • Anna Elizabeth

            Good for you!

            And yes, at times I wont bite my tongue because I don’t want my silence to be construed as agreement or approval.

            One thing about my style and look is people like that already know I wont agree with R horseshit, though.

          • I think some of it may have to do with picking battles. Thus far I have left D’ohtus alone, except when co worker lady (who thinks she is a libertarian because she likes guns, but isn’t, working on it) are alone. We rip him a new one.
            I thus far keep it to fake news, debunking and anything civil rights and or nazi related.
            I think people want to learn- it is an inherit trait of our species. And in the void of the knowledgeable being silent so as not to “make a scene” or “upset anyone” they’ve literally latched onto whatever was handy. It’s just a little hypothesis I have on why /now/ as opposed to when the internet first took off. There was Fox news then! There was internet chat rooms! What is different now?
            I think the difference is the entire “we have to tolerate everyone and respect everyone’s opinion” thing, and that, I am afraid, is really the left’s bad.

          • Anna Elizabeth

            Well put. I salute you for trying, I think you are probably making some folks think. :)

          • Celtic_Gnome

            “There is a cult of ignorance in the United States, and there always has been. The strain of anti-intellectualism has been a constant thread winding its way through our political and cultural life, nurtured by the false notion that democracy means that “my ignorance is just as good as your knowledge.”

            Isaac Asimov, Column in Newsweek (21 January 1980)

    • Maggielle

      Seems like a perfect opportunity to OD on every supportive bit of bullshit you could manage: “bless her heart”, “why I never!”, “you’ve been through so much!”, “I don’t now how you stay so poised!”, “what a nightmare for you dear”, “Oh, mercy!” etc.

      • nightmoth

        God! I wish I’d thought of that. She’s so thick she totally would NOT have gotten the sarcasm.

      • JAKvirginia

        Absolutely. All of us need to build a ready arsenal of such phrases. My goto is “How nice for you.” A dear friend would just keep replying “Really.” using different inflections to mask her boredom or ire. When she would start with “Really.” you knew to back away!

    • …what does a Wedding have to do with saying something?

      • nightmoth

        Happy nice time. Don’t cause unpleasantness for anyone. Particularly THIS wedding because the girl who married is a childhood cancer survivor. When she was 5 years old I promised her I’d dance at her wedding and I did. Plus I did NOT belt her cousin. Big win.

        • Instead of being mad, then, consider how much a better person you are than your cousin.
          Or, well, me. Cause I have decided if they start shit? I am no longer making peace and not making waves.

        • Maggielle

          Oh, that’s good happy news for the bride. I have friends whose daughter nearly died from leukemia as a teenager. She survived, got married, and recently had a baby. She had to use a donor egg, but the first implantation attempt worked, and they have a beautiful little girl with the same color hair as Donna Rose. Squee. That is an event that is worth holding your tongue for, especially since you’ve now come here to entertain us with the story.

          • nightmoth

            Thanks, Mag! And that’s great news about your friend. Maybe our young cousin will try the donor route? Something to consider.

    • Ωbjectifier

      …she’ll NEVER be able to live in south Georgia again…

      And the bad part is?

      • nightmoth

        IK, R? I ALMOST laughed on that one.

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        Don’t threaten her with a good time!

  • Raan

    OT, but I have to share this part of the Best Friends LP of Omikron.

    Pat: This is still unclear! What does ‘lower left’ mean!?
    Woolie: Here, let me just- let me read what I read before.
    Pat: *short, panting gasps*
    Matt: Yeah, see, that’s the noise!
    Pat: That’s the noise! That’s the fuckin’ noise!
    Matt: Short breaths grasping for death.

  • Bill D. Burger

    Pence stands (*See what I did there?)
    with his Moron n’ Chief: Dotard Don

    https://twitter.com/VP/status/917082872942604290

    Vice President Pence‏Verified account @VP 1h1 hour ago
    More
    I left today’s Colts game because @POTUS and I will not dignify any event that disrespects our soldiers, our Flag, or our National Anthem.

    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DLoicW9UEAAzeRe.jpg

    • On the tax payer’s dime.
      I cannot stress enough how we have to make sure people understand that Pence sacrificed not a red cent

    • janecita

      He has such a punchable face! Is that woman, with the ugly, 80s haircut, mother?

      • It’s the Crying Game re-doo. Spoiler alert, she’s got a dick…..for a husband.

    • Dumb cunt forgot to capitalize “flag.”

    • therblig

      apparently, despite the gravitas of pence’s gesture, the game actually went on.

    • SayItWithWookies

      I guess this sort of preening is absolutely vital when you’re about to send those soldiers off to who-knows-the-fuck-where to do who-knows-the-fuck-what for who-knows-the-fuck-why.

    • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

      Since when did standing for the national anthem at a fucking football game have anything to do with soldiers? The whole thing is asinine.

      • Shanzgood

        Since 2009 when the Pentagon started paying the NFL millions of dollars to get the players out of the locker rooms and onto the field to do patriotic stuff during the anthem.

    • AnnieGetYerFun

      Weird, because I sort of fell like the swearing in of an ignorant, obnoxious sexual predator as our President was an insult to our soldiers, our flag, and our anthem.

    • JAKvirginia

      The only thing missing was “BYE, FELICIA” on the big screen.

  • Jack Takes A Knee

    And in a nice, failed attempt at deflection, VP Pike Mence just walked out of a 49’ers game because the players took a knee. He stands with Toddle-in-cheat. I hope Mikey’s aware he just ended his career before it even began.

    • They are desperate to make that a thing.
      Here is the thing tho: The tax payers footed the bill for his little stunt.
      How many regular americans can afford to pay for something just to boycott it? And also, do they not get how protests work?

      • Shanzgood

        Would be interesting if the players decided to protest by walking out, too.

        • Well, then they’d not get paid. And most of them are not actually millionaires.

          • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

            And mostly have very short careers.

          • And lifelong health issues

          • Shanzgood

            True. But if enough of the ones that could afford it would do it, it’d really make a big impact. Imagine if they ALL walked off.

      • Christopher Story

        Trump’s new numbers are new lows. He needed to throw the red meat to those 32% to keep them enthralled.

        • That is what I mean.
          Remind those 32% how much WE just paid for Pence to do that, as opposed to how much WE would not have paid if he just did not go.

      • Jamoche

        You buy books just so you can burn them, and you buy Starbucks just so you can make them write something they hate for the name?

      • Jack Takes A Knee

        Per-xactly! Most of my relatives are r-wingers. They still watch the damned game. They may bitch about the kneeling, but once that part’s over with, they’re into what their team’s doing.

        Nobody’s going to boycott football. It’s just asinine.

        • hillarysleftone

          i have a bunch of facebook friends from back home–the 20186, first solid red county west of DC– who claim to do just that. They always seem to know exactly what the fucking score is though…also hard to boycott the game when you’re simultaneously demanding that the team NOT change its name or you’ll boycott ’em.

  • Shanzgood

    OT: Don’t hate me, but I do love me my Starbucks Pike Place brew, just black, with no diabeetus juice in it. My son went on a Starbucks run a bit ago and grabbed it for me, along with his iced cold brew, his sister’s hot latte, and something floofy and gross with a domed lid for the new girl (she doesn’t know any better yet).

    It’d be a perfect porch afternoon right now but I’m sitting here looking at my car in the driveway and still wondering how the hell my son managed to rip off the drivers side door handle.

    • Skill, Shanz. It takes skill to rip off a handle.

      • FukuiSanYesOta

        You’ve got gorilla glue tho, right?

        • AND the flex seal!

        • Shanzgood

          …yes, I just bought some a few days ago to affix some new magnets to a cabinet in the bathroom.

      • Shanzgood

        He’s quite strong and not very aware of how to do things in a moderate manner. Ever.

        • Moderation is for olds. Youngs go all in or gtfo.
          That is how you become old, btw. Burnout I am thinking.

      • therblig
        • Shanzgood

          Pretty sure that’s how my son drives my car when I’m not with him. He doesn’t smash it up, but I can tell by the crappy gas mileage that he thrashes the nuts off of it.

          Also, his sister snitches on him.

    • OutOfOrbit

      was he wearing pants?

      • Shanzgood

        I’m not sure. He pulls the legs up to show off his socks or something so they end up looking like knickerbockers. Are those pants?

        • snork, that look was hot in the 90’s for like a year.
          I remember this one douchebro that would only do one pant leg

          • Shanzgood

            I guess I missed that.

          • OutOfOrbit

            mee too

          • Could be the fashion just has taken that long to hit ya’ll. I know East Coast tends to be trend settery, after getting it from the West Coast.
            So it was probably in reality an 80s thing in California

          • Shanzgood

            Are you saying I should re-think getting a spiral perm?

          • I would give it another ten years, at least. By then it will be in style again

          • Shanzgood

            *snicker*

        • OutOfOrbit

          * head-scratching noise *

          • Shanzgood

            He makes me do that a lot.

      • Jack Takes A Knee

        Pants? You mean people still wear those things?

        • OutOfOrbit

          there have been roomers …

    • therblig

      …and where the handle used to be….was a hook!!!

      aaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!!!!!

      • And then the murders began.

        • Shanzgood

          I’m not THAT upset. Maybe if he pees on the toilet seat again, I might be.

          • hillarysleftone

            well, he’s got maybe an hour, tops, after his iced coffee.

    • Anna Elizabeth

      No hate from me, I’ll drink Starbucks if Somepony else is buying. :) I like the super-sweet messy coffee-things also too, though.

      And, how.In.The. World?

      • Shanzgood

        Boy is strong like bull. World is China shop.

        I’m just glad he’s not weightlifting any more.

        • Anna Elizabeth

          Wow. :)

          • Shanzgood

            The thousands of calories a day required to maintain a creature that size was crazy expensive, too! And, honestly, he looks better now that he’s slimmer.

          • m3bosha

            As the keeper of a 16 year old football player (and all the weightlifting that goes with it), I can concur that it is crazy expensive keeping him fed. Even when making budget meals, I mean seriously, other people like tacos too dude, slow your roll.

          • Shanzgood

            He used to eat more than his sister and I could combined. It was nuts!

          • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

            Teenage boys! When my younger son was in firefighter academy (3 mile runs every morning and then hard workouts the rest of most days), he went out to eat at an all you can eat buffet with a friend and the friend’s parents. They were shocked at how many plates he ate.

          • Werewolf

            I lucked out-I had the only teenage son who didn’t like to eat. Never did eat well-his mother and I called him the Air Fern when he was little.

          • Anna Elizabeth

            Oh yeah. Body-building is expensive for many reasons. I prefer males that are fit and not overly muscled. Chris Helmsworth vs. Arnold Schwarzenegger in his prime.

          • Shanzgood

            Yes, and also the gym rat look is off-putting to me because of the amount of vanity it represents. But YMMV and all that.

          • Anna Elizabeth

            xD I do wonder if I’d get any mirror time myownself with a guy like that.

            My last fling the guy was fit but lean. :) Delicious.

          • Shanzgood

            Mmmhmm…Now I’m daydreaming about a lanky hank of Irish bacon I know…

          • Anna Elizabeth

            xD He is cute.

            I don’t really want a boyfriend, but I could handle a 20-something FWBs right about now.

          • Shanzgood

            He doesn’t think so, though.

            And I didn’t want a boyfriend, either! :P

          • Anna Elizabeth

            xD Yeah, things do happen.

            And, he should think more highly of himself. He’s cute, funny, and a good guy. Anna Says So.

          • Shanzgood

            Yes, he should!

    • AnnieGetYerFun

      That’s the one roast I just can’t take. But mix me a Veranda and a Verona, and I’m good. But with half and half because I am strange.

      • Shanzgood

        I would do half and half but milk and I have become terrible enemies. Also soy. So I drink it black.

        • AnnieGetYerFun

          I like my coffee really thick. If I can’t get it Turkish style, I have to add cream. If I became lactose-intolerant, I don’t know what I would do.

          • Shanzgood

            Turkish coffee is still good without cream.

            And if you’ve made it out of your 20s without becoming lactose intolerant, you’re probably clear. Being lactose TOLERANT is actually a genetic mutation in humans that allows us to be able to digest milk after puberty, unlike other mammals.

            It mostly has to do with our history of domesticating animals to use for various food products, including their milk, but stress and other hormonal factors can also affect your body’s ability to produce the enzymes necessary to properly break down milk sugar (as I understand it).

    • I was trying to fit my bike through the door at work one morning and was having a helluva time with it. With one last angry shove, I got the bike through the door as well as through the drywall on the other side. And I’m just a gurrl.

      • Shanzgood

        Oops! I hope your bike was ok!

    • Truthiness2U

      Starbucks coffee is fine, and the Starbucks corporation is better than most. Long history of giving part-time workers benies, and stock options. Has programs to help their people with “college” and hire Vets. Plus they don’t buckle when Rethugs go crazy on them for doing things like removing the Christmas tree from their cups! or supporting LGBT rights.

      And I love their cinnamon dolce latter, non-fat, no whip. And in winter their creme brulee and chestnut praline latte. In summer their frappacinos are like heroin (and you can get lower sugar/lower fat versions now). They provide delicious coolness when dealing with the heat that we in the PNW are ill-equipped to handle.

      So yes, I love Starbucks! I’m not even sorry. Suck it, haters.

      • Shanzgood

        Wow, that’s a lot of sweet stuff!

        • Truthiness2U

          Eh. Not to much. I have double shots will all my espresso drinks, the non-fat milk/no whip keeps the fat/sugar down. And with Frappes, you can order the low-sugar varieties now, and with no-whip to keep the sugar down there. Or at least for the ones I get.

          And I don’t generally gets any of the drinks besides the double tall, non-fat, no-whip, cinnamon dolce –and that’s not that sweet.

          Oh and I have yoooge problems with dairy. Not the intestinal kinds, but causes lots of fluid/mucus to get in my lungs so I have to cough it up/can’t breathe variety. But skim-milk doesn’t cause as many problems as the rest of them. Probably because there isn’t a lot of actual milk in it, ha!

          • Shanzgood

            I’m just not that fond of sweetish flavors, even if there’s not much actual sugar.

    • Suttree

      Make him back it in until he fixes that shit. At least you can pretend you have a door handle.

      • Shanzgood

        He’s new to the mechanic gig, plus he’s Nissan and my car is a Fiat 🚗 so I’ll take it to my dealership. He seems to think there might be a recall because Fiat had issues with the door handles. There’s no reason a car with only 36k miles should lose an entire handle, right? Maybe I shouldn’t take Lurch with me when I go…

        • Suttree

          I was like that when I was younger. I have bad “luck” with manual window handles Also any tool within a mile from me with screw up somehow. I swear it’s not my fault! Other people just don’t fix their shit correctly.

          • Shanzgood

            It wasnt the window handle, it was the outside door handle. Awkward.

          • Suttree

            I understand. I have yet to rip one of those off. *yet*

  • Teecha

    This chap has some work to do to catch up with the political insults down under.

    http://www.news.com.au/finance/work/leaders/the-best-aussie-political-sledges/news-story/20850eb8c4e7ac56021cb992c8a4cdb8

    • gallbladder

      “There they are, a conga line of suckholes on the conservative side of politics.”

      BAM!

      • Teecha

        Suckholes is one I’m taking and keeping.

      • BeachBum

        I definitely need more “conga line” usage in my lexicon.

  • SayItWithWookies

    Today may be the first day of the Assmouth administration that he hasn’t been the most embarrassing thing about being an American: because apparently millions of Americans went apeshit over a limited release of McDonald’s Szechuan sauce and cops had to be called out all over the country.

    Fans took to social media to vent their frustrations after being unable to get their hands on the out-of-production dip.

    One couple posted that they had driven for four hours to a restaurant stocking the sauce, but were left disappointed.

    • ….really?

    • gallbladder

      MAGA! #dip

    • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

      DaFuq?

    • When do we just call it quits as a failed species?

      • gallbladder

        How does next Wednesday work for you?

      • FukuiSanYesOta

        That bus has already left the depot.

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        The only species that would miss us would be dogs.

      • David Chaillou

        Don’t worry, the replacement of the failed white anglo-saxons by superior brown people is ongoing. Crossbreeding may allow us to save a few desirable traits.

        • David Chaillou

          Though i couldn’t think of any offhand.

          • BeachBum

            We can absorb more vitamin D north of the Artic Circle.

          • amrak63

            [pedant] We can generate more Vitamin D because our lighter skins absorb more solar ultraviolet radiation, which converts a pre-existing chemical in human skin to Vitamin D. [/pedant]

          • BeachBum

            Oh. Ok. Thanks.

          • sarafina

            Good to know.

          • David Chaillou

            But nobody really wants to live there…

          • SayItWithWookies

            Redheads. Okay — some redheads.

          • David Chaillou

            Different species. Doesn’t count.

          • BeachBum

            There has GOT to be a story there I would love to hear over a social beverage !

          • David Chaillou

            Alien experiment. I mean, it’s just like the tides, there simply isn’t any valid scientific explanation.

          • BeachBum

            See, now THAT’S what I always thought !

          • Shanzgood

            Hey!

          • amrak63

            How about this one? HNNNNG *klunk* (faints from nosebleed)

            https://i.imgur.com/iqOy60E.jpg

          • The Wanderer

            I’ll . . . be in my bunk.

      • BeachBum

        After the playoffs.

      • ariel_gee_398

        We’re just running out the clock.

      • SayItWithWookies

        Unfortunately, evolutionary success only means we’re smart enough to ensure we reproduce — and not even everyone has to do that. It’s a horrifically low standard.

        • BeachBum

          I respect cockroaches. They saw the dinosaurs come and go.

          • H0mer0

            “and speak of Michelangelo.”

    • SeekingCovfefeBarbie

      Priorities!

    • ariel_gee_398

      Venn diagram of people who went searching for this sauce and people who use slurs to describe Asian people?

    • miss_grundy

      First World problem……

      • David Chaillou

        Maybe if we ran out a rumour that all the sauce got sent to PR, they might get volunteer citizen help like Houston did? One can hope.

  • stumpknocker

    pence says he is proud to stand for our soldiers, i’m sure that will comfort them and their families as much as his thoughts and prayers when he sends them to north korea, that son of a bitch!

    • I’m surprised Trump doesn’t use the bone spur excuse to get out of standing.

      • gallbladder

        I’m surprised he didn’t dedicate Hurricane Maria to the citizens of Puerto Rico.

      • ariel_gee_398

        If he weren’t standing, he couldn’t bop along to the music like a toddler who needs to pee.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      The only reason that cocksucker went to the game was so he could flounce out of there after the anthem

  • Vagenda and Pee-ara

    I LOL’d when I saw Trump’s delusional tweet about how Corker couldn’t win without his support.

    “Sir, there’s a deranged, looney, bible banger on the phone, by the name of Roy Moore who would like a word with you.”

    • Résistance Land Shark Ω

      Donnie Two Scoop’s endorsements may have become the kiss of death. How about endorsing McTurtle or Ryan Donnie?

    • hillarysleftone

      in the eternal sunshine of his spotless mind, he (now) supported Moore all along, so that’s yet another one in the win column.

      • Khavrinen

        Spotless mind, mindless spot, whatever…

        • Résistance Land Shark Ω

          … mindless …

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      It’s so cute that Donnie actually thinks he’s driving the enormous mudslide of shit oozing down the side of bullshit mountain. He got lucky and timed it well enough to surf it into office, but this fool thinks he controls it.

      • Carpe Vagenda

        I wonder if he really does, or if he’s just following his Roy Cohn training to double down louder when he’s busted.

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        Particularly coming on the heels of Trump’s losing Luther Strange endorsement.

  • Sheepshagger

    “Bob Corker” still sounds like a bizarre sex act that requires a rubber sheet to me.

    • Résistance Land Shark Ω

      Has a certain British sound to it as well … “‘Ow ’bout a bob corker, ya?”

      • FukuiSanYesOta

        “Nah, mate, he bobbed the corker, innit”

        • Anna Elizabeth

          “Ten missis was a right stroppy cow ’bout the ‘hole thing, too.”

          • FukuiSanYesOta

            Fukui annoys Americans at work with cockney rhyming slang 101

            American: What are you doing for lunch, Fukui?

            Fukui: Well, I’m wearing a whistle and I’ve got a dead Brazilian in me sky, so I’m going down the rub-a-dub.

            American: ?

          • Anna Elizabeth

            LOL! I have zero idea what all that is, but I adore the sound of it.

          • Shanzgood

            All I got is “pub” there.

          • FukuiSanYesOta

            Translation: I am wearing a suit [which I don’t like] and, having money available to myself, shall henceforthwith repair to a drinking establishment.

            Whistle = whistle and flute = suit
            Dead Brazilian = Ayrton Senna = Tenner = ten colonial dollars
            Sky = Sky rocket = pocket
            Rub-a-dub = pub

          • Carpe Vagenda

            Who is Ayrton Senna and how did they become a representative dead brazilian?

          • FukuiSanYesOta

            Ayrton Senna was one of the greatest Formula 1 zoomycar drivers to have ever lived. Died in a tragic accident at Imola.

          • Carpe Vagenda

            I think it’s kind of magic that he’s survived as a cultural metaphor.

          • Shanzgood

            Ah! I would have figured “pocket” if “sky rocket” hadn’t been shortened!

            Nice job!

          • AnnieGetYerFun

            That sounds pervier thank the bob corker thing.

          • MizzMazz

            The ex used to tell me some of the slang, but all that held of was ‘plates of meat’ for feet, because mine often feel that way. Oh, and ‘Bob a knob’ which I think refers to money, but it just sounds…suggestive.

          • FukuiSanYesOta

            Did he ever say “You’ve got a lovely pair of bacons!”?

        • Carpe Vagenda

          Mayb a group activity. Bobbing for corkers.

  • Vagenda and Pee-ara

    Apologies in advance for quoting Chris Cilizza, but here goes:
    “Tennessee Republican Sen. Bob Corker suggested Wednesday that Gens. John Kelly and James Mattis, as well as Secretary of State Rex Tillerson are the “people that help separate our country from chaos,” a stinging criticism of President Donald Trump from a man once considered an ally in Washington.

    Asked directly by a reporter whether he was referring to Trump in using the word “chaos,” Corker, who announced last month he would retire in 2018, responded: “(Mattis, Kelly and Tillerson) work very well together to make sure the policies we put forth around the world are sound and coherent. There are other people within the administration that don’t. I hope they stay because they’re valuable to the national security of our nation.”
    Stop for a second and re-read that last paragraph. The sitting Republican chairman of the Senate foreign relations committee is suggesting that if Tillerson was removed from office (or quit), the national security of the country would potentially be in danger. And he’s refusing to knock down — and thereby affirming — the idea that Trump is an agent of chaos who pushes policies that are not always “sound” or “coherent.””

    It’s funny that Trump’s SUPPORTERS are calling him a moron who is unfit to be president.

    • Not always sound or coherent?
      How about never are sound or coherent, Chrissy boy?

    • Anna Elizabeth

      I find it also too funny, because General Mattis’ radio call-sign during OIF 1 was “Chaos”.

  • Cogswell – In a Mirror, Darkly
    • gallbladder

      R’Amen.

    • Shanzgood

      Indeed. In deed.

  • bupkus231

    One wonders if Rump’s tweets disparaging Corker means that he’s gonna support Marsha Blackburn in her bid to fill Corker’s seat in 2018?

    She’s pretty much been licking Rump’s taint since the campaign ( with the exception of a coupla mild – and safe – complaints against his tweets against Joe and Mika back in June ) – but she’s no better than the OPOS.

    • gallbladder

      Anything to satisfy that feverish schoolboy spite of his.

    • Wasn’t she from Michigan?

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        no

      • bupkus231

        Nope – Marsha Blackburn is Tennessee Rep. – and she announced she would run for the GOP Senate nom in 2018 about two days ago ( almost immediately after Corker announced his retirement ). As it is, a coupla wingnuts have already announced their intentions to seek Blackburn’s set – it’s idjits all the way down in TN

        • The Wanderer

          My younger brother lives in TN, so I support your contention about idjits.

    • sarafina

      She’s awful.

  • TundraGrifter

    If Bob Corker was the attorney general of a state considering Mr. Trump or one of his many questionable enterprises, he’d have endorsed him (and written a fat campaign contribution check) without even being asked.

  • JAKvirginia

    An endorsement from Trump? STRANGE-er things have happened.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      We don’t need any Moore of these puns.

      • Jack Takes A Knee

        I’m Jones-ing for a change of the scenery myself.

        • Msgr_MΩment

          It’s gonna be one of those long sessions.

          • Dudleydidwrong

            There’s nothing long about Sessions. Garden gnomes,you know….

  • Thurman Munster IV

    Let’s see if Corker still votes party line. If he does, he’s just another lily livered motherfucker like all the rest of them bitching about Trump but still putting party over country. If he doesn’t, then he might be redemable.

    • Jack Takes A Knee

      He will. His word will mean squat when faced with tax cuts for the rich and deregulation of companies he hopes to lobby for after he retires.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      do’t hold your breath- there isn’t an honest one amongst them…

  • Suttree

    So Pence showed up at the Colts game just to walk out after the anthem. I wonder how much that cost. Turnip takes credit for it of course. https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/sports/wp/2017/10/08/vice-president-pence-walks-out-of-colts-game-over-49ers-national-anthem-protests/

    • The Wanderer

      Yeah, Pence said that he and His Lord won’t “dignify” the players’ behavior by staying. Fuck him.

      • Suttree

        As if there was any dignity to be found.

        • gallbladder

          …or Lord.

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        Nothing Republican Jesus likes better than to watch large men bump into each other, and give each other concussions, on a Sunday in America.

        • gallbladder

          In tight-fitting uniforms, no less.

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        Matthew 21:12 you hypocritical bastard. I’m pretty sure Jesus is just fine with protesting societal wrongs…

    • Msgr_MΩment

      THAT will teach those uppity players! Hrumph I say.

    • Jack Takes A Knee

      A ticket and a trip we all paid for. It must be so hard to take a stand on our dime, huh?

      • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

        and the cost of extra security.

        • Jack Takes A Knee

          If I had those kinds of resources, I’d have had to have been forced not to hurl my own feces at people for sport. That’s why I’m not made for public service. Or maybe that over-qualifies me for the office of the presidency?

    • jaspersdad

      What a drama queen…

      • Msgr_MΩment

        …allegedly. Unless Pooty Poot has footage.

  • Msgr_MΩment

    it’s not like any other elected Republicans are slapping the dick out of Trump’s mouth like this.

    Something something JERBS!

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      I think you meant “something something TAX CUTS.” Trump actually managed to lose jobs last month, so I think Trump’s (actually Obama’s) “winning streak” is over.

      • Frankly I’m surprised things haven’t started crumbling earlier. Just shows how strong and resilient the Obama Economy is…

        • Vagenda and Pee-ara

          I thought that things would go to shit immediately, and the stock market DID start to tumble the night that it became clear that Trump was going to win. I think the market went up again because a bunch of Republican billionaires started buying stocks to prop up his presidency.

          I’m expecting another massive recession, but I hope I’m wrong.

  • Jack Takes A Knee

    Just looking up and I see Zombie Sex Slaves, Gunsplaining Men and Adult Daycare. I can make that work as a horror opus.

    • Catstro

      Or as a porn franchise

      • Jack Takes A Knee

        Why not both?

    • The Wanderer

      Hmm. There might be a Halloween story (“Heh, he said ‘Ween'”) there.

      • Jack Takes A Knee

        It might have been done before. Bubba-Hotep was kind of about an adult daycare being invaded by a zombie (mummy). But it’s got a good beat and I can tango to it.

        • The Wanderer

          (lightbulb) Got it.

    • Jamoche

      Headliner, opening act, and the band fronted by the backer’s talentless son.

      • The Wanderer

        What about Manic Pixie Asshat?

        • Jack Takes A Knee

          Being upstaged by Vegan Butthole.

        • Jamoche

          Solo acoustic guitar who plays a couple of songs while they’re setting up between acts.

          • jesterpunk

            The set consists of “wonderwall” over and over again.

          • Jack Takes A Knee

            You know that you put Wonderwall in my head for the last fifteen minutes, right? I blame you. You are to blame.

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸

    I’ve had a lot of wine today. Still, it’s not enough wine.

  • Msgr_MΩment

    Fuck Big Ben today. That is all.

    • The Wanderer

      I’m still mystified how Jacksonville can waste Baltimore 44-7, and struggle against Pittsburgh. Either the Steelers are better, or the Jags like to trade uniforms at random with the Browns.

      • Msgr_MΩment

        No surprise. The Stillers handled the dirty birds last week pretty handily.

        • The Wanderer

          Yes, I recall. They handled Flacco vewy woughly, and made him like it.

          • Msgr_MΩment

            Elite QBs are like that.

    • Jack Takes A Knee

      Shows how little I know about sportsball. I thought you meant the tower. Carry on.

      • Anna Elizabeth

        xD

    • FukuiSanYesOta

      A bell? At the end?

    • mancityRed6

      I am not gonna mention KC vs the Texans because I won’t get to watch much of it and I don’t wanna jinx it…
      wait….shit

      • FukuiSanYesOta

        OH! It’s a sports-the-ball thing rather than insulting the bell in a clocktower.

        • mancityRed6

          I know, an escape is still just an escape, and I need one ever so fucking badly right now.

      • Christopher Story

        Go Chief’s!

      • mailman27

        I don’t mean to “crow” but my beloved Eagles are in sole possession of 1st place in the NFC East.

        • mancityRed6

          I am really inviting tragedy, but, who’s the only undefeated team right now?
          uh huh.

          • mailman27

            Yeah, and who’s their coach? I rest my case. Admittedly, a slender reed… :)

          • mancityRed6

            they beat the pats, so tonight is their first test.

  • Me The People

    OT: Santorum: Guns don’t kill people – it’s videogames with fake guns in which imaginary people are killed that kills people

    https://www.mediaite.com/tv/rick-santorum-on-gun-control-debate-why-arent-we-going-after-violent-video-games-and-films/

    • gallbladder

      Do I dare read any more than what you have included here?

      • Me The People

        Not really it’s as you’d expect:

        “After finding consensus with liberals on the banning of bump stocks and
        modifying semi-automatic weapons to shoot like automaticones, Santorum then said more attention should be focused on video games and films.

        “Violence in television and the video games — there is a mountain of
        evidence out there, psychological evidence, about what we’re doing to
        our young people with these video games, violent video games, and you
        never hear the left trying to go after Hollywood or the gaming market,”
        Santorum exclaimed. “It is never involved in this discussion. Where is
        the solution? Here we are. Where is the solution?””

        • Jack Takes A Knee

          I played literally all of the violent video games released between 1989 and 2009. I have seen violent films the likes of which most of polite society could not even comprehend. I write friggin horror for enjoyment . Haven’t ever owned a gun/ will never own a gun/ have no interest in guns. Never been violent in my life. Tired of that nonsense statement.

          But, sure, blame the artists for making art their audience wants to pay to see.

          • Sophia

            IKR, maybe I should be fearful that my son is a closet serial killer.

          • Jack Takes A Knee

            As long as he restricts his killing to what’s contained within his own closet, you should be relatively fine. OR WILL YOU?!?

          • AJ Milne

            Why? Have people near your residence been reporting missing closets?

          • Sophia

            Hmm, now that you mention it he did take the closet organizer from his old room when he moved out.

          • The Wanderer

            “There’s a knife stuck in this box of Lucky Charms!”
            “That means we’re dealing with a – ”
            “Don’t say it!”
            “Cereal killer.”

          • AJ Milne

            Yep. An’ it’s gonna be tough narrowing the suspect list…

            Thing is: they’re _all_ after me lucky charms.

          • The Wanderer

            (giggles)

        • Suttree

          “People should be jerking it in the closet as gawd intended!”

        • Dept. of Space Tacos

          i wonder if there’s a “mountain” of evidence suggested that hoarding, obssessing about, dreaming about, reading about and shooting boomsticks leads to more violence.

          • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

            Probably not since the NRA pushed congress to ban gun violence research.

    • bubbuhh

      Did Santorum bring his fetus jar to this interview?

    • Ωbjectifier

      I seriously doubt Paddock was a gamer.

    • Jack Takes A Knee

      Yeah, ‘cuz 64 year old white dudes lurves them some video games.

      • Me The People

        “I dunno it just seemed like something happened to him after his seventh play-through of Fallout 4 – I guess he’d been through one raider attack too many…”

        • mancityRed6

          yeah, it’s called “bored” by that time.

        • Jack Takes A Knee

          It’s that rock music the kids listen to! Have you ever heard the lyrics to “Not Fade Away”? That Buddy Holly was the DEVIL!

    • Bub, the cynical zombie

      The NRA claims to deplore the “glorification” of gun violence in movies and TV shows – oh, but come check out our museum display of famous movie firearms:

      http://www.nramuseum.com/guns/the-galleries/hollywood-guns.aspx

    • mancityRed6

      that explains the cops outside my door every time I play GTA5

    • Bub, the cynical zombie

      He’s the main reason I don’t watch CNN any more. The last thing I want is Santorum all over my goddamn TV.

      • gallbladder

        *chortle*

        • Marion in Savannah

          Well, I suppose it could happen if you’re particularly acrobatic.

          • therblig

            put the remote in a baggie first.

            or so a friend tells me.

          • Shanzgood

            OMG THIS PLACE

    • Bub, the cynical zombie

      I kind of think a POTUS who defends and emboldens right wing nut jobs, neo-Nazis and white supremacists is a far greater threat to society than video games. But then, I’m not an ignorant, bigoted, theocratic asshole.

    • Sophia

      I was listening to him spout that drivel. I had to turn it off. There are many “pro life” RWNJ’s like him that only care about life until it’s out of the womb. Birth them then let ’em starve or be shot, but something in particular about Santorum enrages me. Maybe it’s because he looks like a smarmy car salesman while the words are coming out of his pie hole (apologies to car salesmen)

      They claim to know God, but by their actions they deny him. They are detestable, disobedient and unfit for doing anything good.

      • Marion in Savannah

        Well, let’s do remember that Santorum brought his stillborn baby home for his kids to hold. He’s just a special kinda dude.

    • BoatOfVelociraptors

      That’s just fucked up. I would love to be more eloquent, but if your brain is so bent that you would prefer to regulate make believe before the actual blood and guts of real guns… That’s just fucked up.

  • Trump needs more roughage.
    https://twitter.com/StarTalkRadio/status/913260124713734144

    Smart Black guys talking about weed: rough

    • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

      That was very funny.

    • mancityRed6

      you know, if there was one person…scratch that…two people I would love to get high with, Tyson and Obama would be it.
      I’d say 3, but I dunno if Michelle would be all into my dream.

  • Mavenmaven

    Unfortunately, as a result of Corker’s insult, Trump will likely nuke something to make himself feel better.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Good-bye, Nashville. We’ll miss you.

    • gallbladder

      Hopefully, nothing more than leftover KFC.

    • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

      Symptoms of personality disorder: everyone around you feels they have to walk around on eggshells.

  • Anna Elizabeth

    OT-Lunch.

    Cottage Cheese w/ added diced Roma Tomato, Raisins, Chives, and a handful of Veggie Straws. Yummy and healthy.

    And I’m still hungry enough to eat a rhinocerous.

    • coozledad

      I’ve been on a liquid/mush diet for two weeks following oral surgery. I miss crunchy.

      • Anna Elizabeth

        ~hugs~ That sux Hun. When I had my tonsils out in 2011, I was liquid for 3 weeks. It was hellish.

        • coozledad

          I hoped at least to lose some weight, but my metabolism converts oat milk directly to gut fat.

          • Anna Elizabeth

            ~hugs~ I hear that also too.

      • Suttree

        The dentist keeps swearing that this root canal won’t hurt a bit after the Novocaine wears off. I need to get that shit in writing from now on. I just had one a few days ago so I feel your pain.

        • kareemachan

          I had one about a month ago. First day afterwards was hell, but it passed pretty quickly. They gave me nitrous, which didn’t seem to do a damned thing.

          • Marion in Savannah

            As I recall from years ago with nitrous shit hurts but you just don’t care at the time. Gimme some good drugs instead, please.

          • Shanzgood

            I had it with my first labor but it didn’t do anything except make me barf so I gave up.

      • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

        The worst part of a colonoscopy prep for me was giving up all the crunchy nuts,seeds and greens.

        • Suttree

          The worst part for me is the no liquids. I am always thirsty. I can count on 1 finger how many times I have gone to sleep without a glass of water next to me for the past 30 years.

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        Crunchy is one of the best flavors.

        • Suttree

          Only if you cook all of the meat out of it first.

        • The Wanderer

          If we took the bones out, it wouldn’t be crunchy, now would it?

          • Rebel Scum with permit

            Prefer the rams bladder cup

          • The Wanderer

            Nicely chewy, and the lark’s vomit adds a bit of tang.

      • therblig

        “There’s no word for ‘crisp’ on Ferenginar.”

        • The Wanderer

          No word for “charity” either.

    • mancityRed6

      I had a small bag of bacon jerky on Friday. I didn’t eat anything again until some pistachios Sat afternoon. and I only had about 5 beers that night.
      it was a very good weekend, I didn’t feel hungry, I had other things on my mind.

      • Dept. of Space Tacos

        everything okay buddy?

        • mancityRed6

          baby, you know things are getting better every day.
          I didn’t spend the weekend out on my balcony, or in my apt alone, so…hells yeah.

          • Shanzgood

            Do you have some news for us?!

          • mancityRed6

            better friends, and that’s damn good enough for me.

          • Shanzgood

            Awright!

          • mancityRed6

            there’s history and tragedy and there’s some damn dark shit going on in her life. I’m being the shoulder she needs and she did the same for me.

          • Anna Elizabeth

            Good man.

          • mancityRed6

            I’m working on it.

          • Anna Elizabeth

            :D

          • Suttree

            Brown chicken brown cow!

          • mancityRed6

            you just hush your mouth

          • Dept. of Space Tacos

            awesome!

            i’m doing chores and work all weekend, so…tripley good! Sounds like fun.

    • kareemachan

      I made Cook’s Country southern-style smothered chicken over rice. It was…. okay. Nothing earth-shaking. And now we have leftovers enough for about three days. But I had the necessary ingredients, so….

      • Anna Elizabeth

        Worth a try, eh? I love the show, but I’ve never tried a recipe.

  • In my opinion, I think Music Programmers should honor Tom Petty by stop playing his hits.

    And start playing the hits of The Next Tom Petty…

    Chuck Prophet.
    https://g.co/kgs/pjqiVp

    • mancityRed6

      I’d be happy if they just played some B sides

      • gallbladder

        I’ve always found that the deeper cuts in an album are among the most memorable.

        • mancityRed6

          when I saw Motorhead, they did a few top hits. Ace of Spades, of course. but mostly B sides. it was the best show I would see until I saw Black Sabbath.

          • Shanzgood

            All those years of liking that song because of The Young Ones and I had no idea who Motörhead was.

          • mancityRed6

            when every album sounds the same, it’s hard. but I found this and it rocks my world:
            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J06yQb4lbPk

          • Jack Takes A Knee

            Jealous! I miss the hell out of Lemmy! What a loss!

          • mancityRed6

            I had earplugs from work in, and that made them just loud enough to not distort.

          • The Wanderer

            May I go on record as saying that Kia using Ace of Spades to sell their new Kia Soul is a travesty and a crime against art?

          • mancityRed6

            yes, and seconded

          • Fartknocker

            Question of the day: How does animated gerbils or hamsters (I don’t know) convince one to purchase a vehicle that looks like a toaster with wheels?

          • The Wanderer

            I confess to uncertainty about that. I don’t own a Kia.

  • Marion in Savannah

    It is SUCH fun to watch them eat their own dead.

  • sarafina

    Question: Was an autopsy done on Steve Paddock that conclusively proved he did not have a terminal illness or brain tumor of some type?

    • Panika MCD

      apparently he left a not taped to the bedside table indicating he thought he would escape alive…the note has not been released.

      • sarafina

        I’d read something about he planned to escape the hotel room, but no details.

        • Panika MCD

          we don’t have them yet. the note may or may not have that information either.

        • Jack Takes A Knee

          Is that the same note that MSNBC reported contained only numbers last week? I’m just curious, not adding to the speculative feeding frenzy.

          • wait! what?

            Probably.

            A note found in the hotel room of the man who shot into a crowd from his perch in a Las Vegas high-rise included hand-written calculations about where he needed to aim to maximize his accuracy and kill as many people as possible.

            “I could see on it he had written the distance, the elevation he was on, the drop of what his bullet was gonna be for the crowd,” Newton said. “So he had that written down and figured out so he would know where to shoot to hit his targets from there.”

            https://www.cbsnews.com/news/las-vegas-gunman-stephen-paddock-note-hotel-room-details-of-bullet-trajectory/

    • Dept. of Space Tacos

      I’m still going with brain tumor, but excellent point.

    • SeekingCovfefeBarbie

      An autopsy is being performed but it either hasn’t been completed or the results haven’t been released.

      • kareemachan

        Takes a while for drug analysis, I guess (from watching CSI). And they are probably doing it very carefully and thoroughly.

    • If his father was a sociopath (as reported), then it could be an inherited mental illness that he kept under control.

      • Mildred Broxon

        You mean, like Trump?

    • Jack Takes A Knee

      Well, if he had an undiagnosed brain tumor, the manner of his death might make that diagnosis impossible.

      Honestly? I think we’re all kind of grasping at straws, hoping for something to explain this all away. Sometimes, something just goes off inside of a person. It’s not disease, mental or otherwise. It’s not spacemen or demonic possession. Sometimes, people just get a crazy idea that they can’t shake.

      It starts small and relatively harmless, like how curiousity can lead to stalking which can lead to an abduction or murder. Everyone who commits evil dips their toes in first. I don’t think anyone jumps in head first.

      • Well, there are those special cases, children who get pleasure through torturing living creatures, including other children.😕

  • Panika MCD

    Chief Acevedo has been tweeting for days about the need for gun reform. today he was all, “hey, it’s the Sabbath for a lot of us. let’s take today to get out the message that WE NEEDED GUN REFORM BEFORE THIS HAPPENED. WAITING IS NOT AN OPTION.”

    • Werewolf

      Wish he was still here in ATX.

      • Panika MCD

        me too. :(

  • Dept. of Space Tacos

    great, my project for the actual paying job means I get to spend the day looking up sales info for 1,400 condos.

    FUN.
    : (

    • Anna Elizabeth

      ~hugs~

  • John Orendorff

    Steve Paddock expressed all the NRA talking points to a friend while he was staying in his house. He must belong to the NRA, but I’ll bet the rolls were purged pronto. It would seem reasonable that a crazy, old white gun nut would belong.

    • Shibusa

      Why can’t some enterprising hacker unearth that info? You can bet a LOT of the mass shooters in America were NRA members. Nancy Lanza was also a doomsday prepper who taught her son how to shoot.

      • theCryptofishist

        Maybe they’ll find his card when the clean out his houses.

        • Shibusa

          My RWNJ bro bought lifetime NRA memberships for his kids. )-:

          • theCryptofishist

            Here’s to hoping that they’ll find them utterly useless and meaningless when they grow up.

          • Shibusa

            The daughter is, in early adulthood, becoming kind of a liberal, which is shocking to me, honestly. She was raised on a diet of Fox “News” and Rush Limbaugh.

    • shivaskeeper

      The NRA should easily be able to see by checking their database.

  • Shibusa

    O/T but … Using Dunning-Kruger perspective to explain Trump worship. Interesting.

    • Anna Elizabeth

      Good article. I like to think I’m intelligent enough to know where I am ignorant of many things.

      • Suttree

        That’s what they want you to think!

        Sorry, Alex Jones dosed me.

        • Anna Elizabeth

          xD

      • The Militant Homosexual Agenda

        Exactly. Acknowledging ignorance of a subject is not a weakness. It’s a strength.

        • Anna Elizabeth

          Thank you. :)

    • tinker12

      I have long been a proponent that this explains the Republican party, whose voters are too stupid to know that they’re stupid.

      • Intelligence is seen as a snotty affectation to these people.

      • The Militant Homosexual Agenda

        Or they know they are stupid but too cowardly to admit it.

    • TJ Barke

      I’ve called it the Dunning-Kruger presidency from day 1.

  • Bub, the cynical zombie
    • The Wanderer

      Rowling for a score!

    • Dept. of Space Tacos

      wow, rowling uses one of my favorite phrases.

      Maybe I can write a series of books and make ALL THE MONEY IN THE WORLD.

      • janecita

        Write about an orphan, boy wizard. That’s has never been done before!

    • The Bible Network. Goddamned fucking dotards.

    • The Militant Homosexual Agenda

      “Perhaps other people have used it over the years but I’ve never noticed it.”

      He’s never heard anyone else say the word, “fake”? That’s because he never notices anyone but himself, ever.

  • Bub, the cynical zombie
    • therblig

      he’s just a motherfucker

      • janecita

        Literally!

    • Shanzgood

      I don’t understand what is/is not happening there.

      • mancityRed6

        he left a Colts game ’cause someone took a knee.

        • Shanzgood

          I knew that, I just couldn’t figure out the photos.

          • Jamoche

            Click on the twitter link, the photos have captions there. I was baffled too.

          • Blackest Noobs

            ah ha!

          • Bub, the cynical zombie

            He posted a photo taken at a different game and claimed it was from today’s game. They lie as reflexively as they breath.

          • Shanzgood

            Got it, thanks!

          • Sophia

            Thanks, I was trying to figure out how he went from the suit in the original tweet to that sport shirt.

          • Fartknocker

            Pence and mother will blame it on a Twitter software glitch.

        • Blackest Noobs

          ooh i knew that. just dumb.

          the whole leaving cuz players took a knee. though this is the guy who calls his wife mother. so there’s that.

          • Shanzgood

            That’s creepy.

            I like baconzgood’s nicknames for me better. Stroppy, Harpie, Miserable Shrew, Screeching Banshee.

          • janecita

            He is so romantic!

          • Shanzgood

            He really is, honestly. I’m not snarking, either. I just wish I appreciated it more and could reciprocate it more since I’m not a very romantic person myself. It makes him feel less loved.

          • janecita

            I’m with you, my husband says that I’m “the most unromantic person that he has ever known.” That’s probably why he loves me:-)

          • grindstone

            You’re not alone. I’m much worse at the romantic shit than world’s best husband. Plus I freaking hate talking on the phone.

          • Shanzgood

            Oh, god. Don’t even get me started on the phone thing!!!

      • Blackest Noobs

        yeah. i just see a darker shade of blue.
        oh shit. is the world getting blue’er?

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        the first photo is from 2014, so is the second one that he used today

      • bupkus231

        The text that accompanies the tweet on the left has Pence saying he and Mother are awaiting the 2nd half kickoff – yet they apparently left the game 8 minute in.

        Apparently, pre-posed pic.

        ETA: And, I missed this, but Zippy didn’t – that left hand tweet is from 2014….

        • Shanzgood

          He will blame an over-zealous staff member.

        • Zippy W Pinhead

          worse than that, the caption on the first tweet (from 11/24/14) is him talking about the Colts beating JAX. They are playing the 49ers today

    • Jamoche
      • Zippy W Pinhead

        thanx, was just about to post those

      • The faces of utter cluelessness.

      • janecita

        She looks like a better looking Jay Leno.

    • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

      Pence's stunt likely cost more than $250,000 at minimum. https://t.co/Y9E9LqvhPG— Daniel Dale (@ddale8) October 8, 2017

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        I thought it was wrong for millionaires to protest while they are at work. I guess it’s OK for Mike Pence to stage his counter protest while on the clock though, why can’t he protest on his own dime like everyone demands of those blah athletes?

        • Shanzgood

          BURN

      • Royal Ugly Globalist Dude

        Mother knows all about faking things.

        • I’m certain her mouth never opens during sex.

          • therblig

            not even to read the bible verses? i imagine he’d be all out of breath.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Excellent. Please tell us when and where to kneel to make his boss go away.

    • Rachel Book Harlot

      They are such a creepy couple.

  • janecita

    O/T, I love these two:-)

    https://youtu.be/0s8oYNL1M-A

    • Shanzgood

      OMG that makes me wanna have another baby just to show them that!

      No, wait. No.

      • janecita

        I will show it to the dog. Two kids are plenty:-)

        • Shanzgood

          Hell, I don’t even want a dog.

          • janecita

            I don’t blame you, they are a lot of work.

          • Shanzgood

            Like permanent 2yos.

            Baconz wants a French Bulldog – the uglier the better – to name Monsieur (or Mme) Tête de Boeuf. So we might have to have some discussions.

          • Anna Elizabeth

            I name my stuffed animals. *hint,hint*

          • Shanzgood

            I think he’d really love an actual real dog to romp around with. But it’d definitely have to be HIS dog to walk and feed and clean up after.

          • Anna Elizabeth

            I hear that. I liver in a pet friendly building, there are a lot of really sweet dogs and 99 out of 100 love me, but I am *soo* glad I don’t have to do the walkies and the food buying and the vet bills.

          • Rocket Pony Ron

            What an odd thing to name them.

        • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

          Good idea. I have grand puppies.

      • Carpe Vagenda
      • shivaskeeper

        No. Just no.

      • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

        With contraceptives about to be outlawed, you may get a chance!

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Goodnight, Pluto.

    • Jack Takes A Knee

      I read that to my niece Stella when she was just a baby and she looked at me with absolute shock. She couldn’t figure out how I knew the words. Her mother had read it to her every night.

      • Carpe Vagenda

        We started reciting Moo, Baa, La La La in a museum gift shop once (for reasons) and two other couples chimed in.

        • janecita

          I would make loud noises on the table on the “Boom” part of “Chicka Chicka Boom Boom.” My son got in trouble in pre-k for doing the same thing, I had to explain my loud reading methods to his teacher.

      • janecita

        Babies are so easy to amuse:-)

    • The Militant Homosexual Agenda

      Goodnight, iPad.

  • Blackest Noobs

    Hey Wonkette! Mark Shields also thinks that’s Corker’s plan…making his bid for 2020.
    It is what we all are thinking, right?

    STILL…i dunno if Corker could take him, you know, because Donald Trump won the election…like normal is gone, up is down, and pretty much anything is possible except past conventions.

  • Marion in Savannah

    ERMAGERD!!!11!!!111 STOP THE PRESSES!!!

    Democrats are in disarray — DISARRAY, I tell you!

    https://www.nytimes.com/2017/10/07/us/politics/democrats-resistance-fundraising.html?_r=0

    • Carpe Vagenda

      That’s priceless. The actual grass roots is snubbing their appointed corporate progressive insurgent in favor of people they want to support. It’s like the nephews at the Times aren’t driving the conversation. But that’s crazy talk…

    • Dept. of Space Tacos

      and trump and the republicans are a cohesive and well oiled political party, I’m assuming?

      • The Wanderer

        Yes! Trump said so!

      • Marion in Savannah

        Natch.

      • Msgr_MΩment

        That’s not oil.

      • Meanie-meanie, tickle a person

        Herd of cats v herd of rats…

    • shivaskeeper

      Do I really need to follow the link and read it? I thought a cornerstone of the Democratic Party was disarray.

      • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

        Their SOP.

        • Meanie-meanie, tickle a person

          Our Modus Inoperandi, if you will…

          • shivaskeeper

            The disorganization organization.

      • TJ Barke

        I am not a member of any organized political party, I’m a democrat -Will Rogers.

        • shivaskeeper

          That was the quote going through my head.

    • Bill Diaz

      ‘I am not a member of any organized political party, I am a Democrat.’ -Will Rodgers

      Have a great day!

  • Dept. of Space Tacos

    anybody seen Blarney as of late? Maybe I’ve just been out.

    • The Wanderer

      I’ve seen him around here, just not today.

      • Dept. of Space Tacos

        cool, we just must be on different snarking schedules.

    • Anna Elizabeth

      He seems to skip weekends, I talked with him Friday and he was posting funny memes. :)

      • Dept. of Space Tacos

        good for him – we ALL really should be out there making the most of our weekends.

        Like enjoying nature and shit.

        ; p

        • Anna Elizabeth

          xD

        • mancityRed6

          so her house is right next to an interstate, we saw a family of deer before nightfall, and more out on the street in front of the house after dark. does that count?

          • Dept. of Space Tacos

            works for me!

          • mancityRed6

            when the sirens hit on the interstate, we didn’t know if it was the coyotes or the deers that were making the weird screaming sounds.

        • Shanzgood

          Can I just do that from my porch? The squirrels are very active right now and having fun taunting the juvenile cats from the local feral colony.

          • Dept. of Space Tacos

            you do gurl, at least your OUTSIDE.

        • Rocket Pony Ron

          I spent all damned week out in nature, and have the scrapes and sunburn to prove it. Weekends are ME time.

      • The Militant Homosexual Agenda
        • Anna Elizabeth

          XD Nice! Go, Blarney!

  • jaspersdad
    • Covfefe

      It ain’t so. That make you feel better? But read the Daily Beast story you linked to, before you get all het up.

      • jaspersdad

        I read just fine…….You?

        “The president called Senator Corker on Monday afternoon and asked him to reconsider his decision not to seek reelection and reaffirmed that he would have endorsed him, as he has said many times,” Womack said.

    • OrG

      Is nothing sacred*??
      *no,nothing is sacred

  • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

    Hahahahaha

    That look you get when Home Depot is sold out of tiki torches and you have to tie a flashlight to a broom. pic.twitter.com/wFQHMorh5f— Brandon Gary (@JBrandonUA) October 7, 2017

    • Blanche de Shambles

      W…why is his face so small?

      • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

        Lack of brains?

      • mancityRed6

        his mom didn’t have to change her last name?

        • Msgr_MΩment

          He’s got two grandparents.
          And great-grandparents.

          • CovfefeOfTheThoughtlessMind

            His family tree has no branches.

      • Shanzgood

        It’s an effect of the Nazi haircut.

      • Painter of Goats

        A reflection of his soul?

        • Zippy W Pinhead

          or intellect

      • Shanzgood

        It’s trying to make itself into less of a target.

      • Cat Cafe

        Pinhead. Small brain.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      GOoP doing their best to disprove #3.

    • TJ Barke

      Who?

      • H0mer0

        Taxes are theft? What do they think subsidizes the internet upon which he shares his douchiness?(other than pr0n?)

    • TJ Barke

      Point by point:
      Your god isn’t
      Property is theft
      The US isn’t the best by ANY appreciable metric
      Socialism is fine when implemented democratically
      Hillary should be in jail for what?

  • Meanie-meanie, tickle a person

    Oh, please let this become a Twitter fish-slap fight. Trump will lose his ample ass, because Corker is more than a match with the whole verbs & nouns thing. Trump only does adjectives. To death….

    • The Wanderer
      • CovfefeOfTheThoughtlessMind

        One of my all time favorites. When the Pythons first aired in the U.S. we were in high school, and the day after an episode that’s all we talked and laughed about.

        • Cat Cafe

          I am STILL laughing about it. Palin’s dance is funny enough, so you totally buy that the sketch is sort of mocking silly Irish dances with fisherman’s silly dances, so it’s ALREADY FUNNY, so you are totally surprised by the appearance of Cleese’s hidden giant fish, the bland ferociousness of his slap, and realize how game Palin is as he plunges into the water! HILARIOUS

          • CovfefeOfTheThoughtlessMind

            If memory serves, it was a large mackerel.

  • Dept. of Space Tacos

    ye gods to be rich – I’m seeing in my research
    1) Buy fancy condo for multiple millions of dollars
    2) 7 years later, sell it for roughly 3.5x what you paid for it
    3) Profit!

    • OrG

      Hey commie! Holding on to that condo for 7 years was HARD WORK!
      Taker!!!

    • Suttree

      Just do your best not to shoot porn videos in it or cook meth in the Jacuzzi.

      • The Militant Homosexual Agenda

        No, it’s meth lab in the condo and porn in the Jacuzzi. Been there, done that.

  • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

    No surprise:

    This was a publicity stunt pic.twitter.com/RM8b7fmXKV— Poll Cat (@gato_danger) October 8, 2017

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Whaaaaaaaah privilege.

    • Christopher Story

      That’s not how this works. That not how any of this works!

    • mancityRed6

      I’m thinking I don’t want to go to dead brainfart tomorrow

      • TJ Barke

        A sane person wouldn’t want to go there ever.

        • mancityRed6

          it’s a self affirmation. when I read the comments I know that I’ll never be as ignorant as them so it makes my day better.

          • Shanzgood

            Yes, watching the monkeys fling poo at the zoo makes me feel more human myself and not at all depressed.

          • mancityRed6

            I take my inspiration where I can. maybe the bottom isn’t so close anymore for me.

          • Shanzgood

            Hm?

          • mancityRed6

            the stuff that has made my life so shitty in the past year pales in comparison to what she went through. I honestly don’t know of anyone who has been through worse. but she listened to me as much as I listened to her. it’s a fucked up thing, and maybe, just maybe, I don’t have to go anywhere else to know that my life isn’t that bad.
            yeah, I know. cryptic as fuck, but I can’t betray what’s been told to me.

          • Shanzgood

            Oh I thought you were still talking about BrightFart. Never mind!

          • H0mer0

            simian libelz

    • jaspersdad
    • Zippy W Pinhead

      Can you imagine if Obama had pulled a partisan publicity stunt like this on the taxpayer’s dime? The wingnuts would be storming DC with torches and pitchforks already.

    • OrG

      Very transparent.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Smug little fuck.

    • Jamoche

      Read it in Columbo’s voice: “Oh, just one more thing. Your driver said you had him wait, but why would you do that unless you knew you’d be leaving early?”

      Not that the DOTUS followers will notice or care.

      • The Militant Homosexual Agenda

        And wearing a worn trench coat and holding a nasty, chewed up cigar.

    • RobKanC

      Also, hitting new levels of low here. Since when have American Vice Presidents started acting like monarchy that gets offended by dissent. Protesting is as American as Apple Pie. So fuck him right in his ass.

      • H0mer0

        from what I’ve heard, he might like that.

    • (((fka_donnie_d))), SOB

      A more important question; does this asshole, after golfing every weekend for nearly a year, really have nothing better to do than go to football games?

  • AJ Milne

    Saying the obvious, probably, but: Trump’s claiming he invented the term ‘fake news’ is the logical escalation in his ongoing effort completely to subvert the term.

    He probably only got elected because of misinformation in general, and the term was starting to mean what it was supposed to, toward the end of the election. It was kinda forced move he’d try to render people’s recognizing it for what it was less of a danger to himself, through repetition and endless assertion that anything critical of his regime was such a thing.

    Fake news is a real thing, and a real problem. Comet Pizza was fake news. Endless noise about his opponents’ alleged Alzheimer’s, that was fake news. Last thing he wants is people getting clarity on the same, tho’. Hell, going back along Donald’s rap sheet, stuff alleging any veracity behind birtherism was fake news, and if anyone actually picked up his absurd claim that his opponent started it, and he somehow put it to bed outta being such an intellectually honest mensch, that goes to pretty much as fakeity fake fake as it _gets_…

    So no, dear Trumplethinskin, you didn’t invent the _term_, exactly…

    But, hey, credit where credit’s due: you and yours have had a whole lot to do with the refinement of the use of the stuff, at least.

    • mancityRed6

      my anger is boundless right now, but I can’t trust that it’s all on this. so this is all I have.

    • Meanie-meanie, tickle a person

      Telegraph says :
      It was at Donald Trump’s first press conference as President-elect when the term “fake news” broke out of media discussions and into the mainstream. “You are fake news!” he pointed at CNN’s Jim Acosta
      So that’s why he thinks he invented the term. Nope.
      Huffpo:
      According to Merriam-Webster, the term “fake news” stretches back over 100 years. https://www.merriam-webster.com/words-at-play/the-real-story-of-fake-news
      Stackexchange:
      The earliest example I could find is from 1890, in the Daily Tobacco Leaf-Chronicle from Tennesse; it is a headline:
      TOO MUCH “FAKE” NEWS,
      The Indian Situation Was Never So Grave as Reported.
      There’s an example from the previous year uses the verb fake in to fake news, in The American Bookseller (emphasis mine in all quotes):

      And a dozen other links I’m too lazy to chase after.
      And no, Donnie, you didn’t invent the light bulb, running water, or fire, either.

  • Anna Elizabeth

    OT – I am dressed too cute to stay home, but I’m too tired to walk anywhere fun.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Uber rickshaw.

      • Anna Elizabeth

        xD

      • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

        I just lurve my custom-made über hacksaw.

    • janecita

      Drink a nice glass of wine, and watch a good movie.

      • Anna Elizabeth

        Good thinking, except I have no wine. xD Maybe a nap is in order.

        • janecita

          Nap sounds good.

        • Sophia

          Naps are always in order

    • Covfefe

      Better put sandwich bags on your shoes. Cuz snow.

      • Anna Elizabeth

        Tomorrow is the snow, I think that is why I’m antsy today.

        • Dept. of Space Tacos

          what is this snow of which you speak? And is it near me?

          < . . >

          • Doug Langley

            Rub it in, why don’t you.

          • Dept. of Space Tacos

            DO I HAVE ANY ON ME?!?

            ; p

      • Marion in Savannah

        Joni Ernst bread bag libelz!

    • LosFelizGuy

      I had the same problem yesterday (too hot yesterday in LA). And THATS the reason I have not showered today.

      • Anna Elizabeth

        xD

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      I stay home mainly because common decency has brainwashed me into needing to wear pants when I go outside. My legs are heavily bruised from workshop mishaps, also too.

      • Anna Elizabeth

        xD

        I’ve been out for groceries already. I dressed nice to show my friend that works the store on Sunday, and now it’s like I’m dolled up with no energy to go out.

        • Marion in Savannah

          Well, as long as you feel cute as hell and all dolled up that’s what counts. The hell with the rest of the world!

          • Anna Elizabeth

            Thank you. :)

        • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

          A few times when I did interviews or when corporate sent me out as a rep, I would have to wear a suit. It was always a letdown when I got home. Sometimes, I would go out again, just because. Nothing of note happened, though. The last time, I had salad in my teeth and didn’t know it.

          I’m cursed.

          • Anna Elizabeth

            xD I hear that. I carry a small toothbrush to do quick-fix cos my teeth are excellent at catching salad and even herbs when I eat.

          • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

            I need to do that. The sad thing on that before that last episode, somebody told me I had a great smile so I smiled a lot. I was doing it wrong and didn’t know it. I can laugh about it now. {{{giggle-snort}}}

          • Anna Elizabeth

            ~hugs~

            And that’s an advantage of carrying a purse, I can bring all kinds of things that may be useful along with me.

          • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

            I have considered carrying a purse. I have not found a style I really liked. I might have to invent my own. Something made out of Kydex, perhaps. Something “tactical” looking.

          • Anna Elizabeth

            Cool! :)

  • The Librarian

    Trump will always go with bullshitting, even when a zillion people heard him say otherwise. Here’s hoping Corker keeps pointing it out, if for no other reason than to fuck with Trump. Zing!

  • tehbaddr

    Think I’m gonna make a Conundrum Sammich for myself.

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      Illegitimi non Conundrum.

      “Don’t let the bastards confuse the shit out of you.”

      • tehbaddr

        Au contraire, the name is derived form the main ingredient, my “which came first salad” which is made from both chicken and egg!

        • Anna Elizabeth

          OOOh, I like the sound of this! :)

          • tehbaddr

            It is surprisingly tasty, made it for the first time a few months ago. But there is a catch.

          • Anna Elizabeth

            Do you use Mayo or Mustard?

          • tehbaddr

            Yes, both, I got hold of some Dukes after a mayo discussion here a few months ago, and dijon.

          • Anna Elizabeth

            Nice! Ima try this next time I go to the store. :)

          • tehbaddr

            Haven’t yet revealed the true dark secret of the salad.

          • Anna Elizabeth

            OOOh, please share. :)

          • tehbaddr

            The chicken, eh, the chicken is all white meat, eh, eh, and comes in a CAN!!!!11!11!!!11!!!!!!11111!!!!!

          • Anna Elizabeth

            LOL! You might not believe this, but that is what I was planning to use.

          • tehbaddr

            YOU MONSTER!!1!11!!!111!!!!!

          • Marion in Savannah

            Really? I’ve seen it in the store, but was always scared it would be like, you know, canned clams.

          • tehbaddr

            I’ve never had it till this year, picked some up at a food pantry. It is just fine. But cannot hold a match to canned clams! I haven’t had canned clams in nearly 6 months!

          • Dept. of Space Tacos

            I used to used it for chicken salad – make sure the water us TOTALLY drained out of the can or it gets mushy.

            Also, go for the more expensive stuff, the cheap shit is not pleasant as I recall.

          • Marion in Savannah

            Thanks. I’ll give it a whirl.

          • tehbaddr

            So I’ve got Swanson here. Is that the Fancy stuff? I’ve had Seafood regular brand variants of it before and they were OK. What is fancy when it’s canned? Unless it says fancy on the label, like fancy smoked oysters or fancy smoked baby clams, I can’t tell!

          • Doug Langley

            Monster!

          • Dept. of Space Tacos

            i didn’t say fancy, I said more expensive!

          • tehbaddr
    • mancityRed6

      hey, since you’re up
      *shakes empty can*

      • tehbaddr

        /throws IPA at chromebook, and knocks it off the counter

        • mancityRed6

          it’s called a “toss”

          • tehbaddr

            Oh, like shield fighting, I must go slow with the deployment of the IPA!

          • mancityRed6

            I’ve already had a few, so my reactions are slowed as it is.

    • SayItWithWookies

      Wrap it in an enigma.

    • Shanzgood

      Too late.

      • Bub, the cynical zombie

        It was too late fifty years ago.

      • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

        Donnie was born fully dotarded.

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      Donnie is at least 110% full dotard.

      He exudes a veritable cornucopia of dotardicles. A very massive dotard flux, indeed.

  • Sophia
    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      It sure does not take much to upset some people.

    • wait! what?

      You’d never guess that so many religious people would be against kneeling.

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸

    “The pudding cups are delicious!”
    https://twitter.com/thehill/status/917120157180399616

    • mancityRed6

      “I can refill my own commisary card!”

    • Marion in Savannah

      Well, he’s meeting a bunch of people who are EVER so much nicer than he.

    • TJ Barke

      Feel free to stay forever, dirt bag.

    • Covfefe

      If Martin Shkreli can find joy in jail, he’s a stronger man than I.

    • Carpe Vagenda

      Less sociopath shaming?

    • Doug Langley

      “They don’t give me wedgies at every meal.”

  • Carpe Vagenda
    • dshwa

      It was all just a publicity stunt? I’m shocked!

      • Sophia

        Don’t know why but that stupid song with the words “it’s all about the base, about the base” is stuck in my head

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸

    Hmm, why is this not-at-all surprising?
    https://twitter.com/CNN/status/917119931845677056

  • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

    Guess who Pence is fundraising for:

    He's catching a plane to California to Fundraiser for Dana Rohrabacher https://t.co/8l1QbP64cD His Faux patriotism of why he left is a lie!— Shannon Brooke (@ShannonBrooke01) October 8, 2017

    • Zyxomma

      Dana Rohrabacher, eh? You mean (R-Putin), right?

    • Impatient

      Gee, I thought he might be fundraising for CREEP-t. The Committee to Re-Elect Putin-tRump.

      • theCryptofishist

        Do you think he even knows any plumbers?

        • Impatient

          Naw, Pence don’t need no plumber, cause he never pees or poops. Kinda like Rickman’s Metatron. (Hey, only a few degrees of separation from Vogon poetry!)

          And if tRump comes to visit, well, he’s already peed somewhere else.

  • Carpe Vagenda
    • Anna Elizabeth

      This is awesome.

    • Sophia

      Yay Justin! He’s one of the helpers Mr Rogers said to look for!

    • Marion in Savannah

      Damn onion ninjas…

    • CO

      I like this story as well. About the kid not necessarily CP.
      https://twitter.com/ussoccer/status/916784056280502272

    • Rocket Pony Ron

      So an 11 year old boy shows more compassion and care for people in need than the C-in-C.
      Anyone surprised? Anyone? Didn’t think so.

      • Carpe Vagenda

        My favorite part? Is that proud mom is taking the victory lap, because Justin is too young for twitter.

  • James

    Indianapolis Star:

    Doyel: Vice President Mike Pence uses Colts for political purposes

    http://www.indystar.com/story/sports/columnists/gregg-doyel/2017/10/08/vp-mike-pence-leaves-nfl-protest-49-ers-colts/744478001/

    The Colts had to go out of their way to accommodate the Vice-President for a football game, not knowing that Mike Pence would do this. In addition to the massive waste of tax money, it was a waste of the Colt’s money and the stadium’s money.

    • Shanzgood

      That was fast.

      • dshwa

        Kapernick never had a massive PR team on his side, but the NFL damn well does. I’d bet a very shiny new nickel that they contemplated this possibility as soon as the VP asked for a ticket, and had responses at the ready to send to the media.

        • theCryptofishist

          I just wish he’d get another job. That’s a way to really poke Trump/Pence in the eye.

          • dshwa

            Given some of the bad quarterbacking I’ve heard of so far this season (I don’t watch, protesting the concussion settlement) I’m shocked somebody hasn’t given him a call.

      • OrG

        This is so obvious the story writes itself.

    • Sophia

      Love the auto video with the women saying Pence was right to walk out but when asked why she didn’t “argle bargle”. Now there’s a woman who stands by her beliefs!

      • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

        “argle bargle” – and eat my tickets? are you crazy?
        She should have said, no because she wanted to see the jersey retirement ceremony, but when she said you salute the flag for the Lord? BS – “render under Caesar’s what it Caesar’s” – the Lord has nothing to do with nations and governments.

  • sosuume
    • jesterpunk

      Trump is taking credit for Pence leaving.

      https://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/917091286607433728

      • theCryptofishist

        Oh, he’s proud of “Mother.” How sweet.

      • Stulexington

        All I see is “I’m finally dragging Pence into my bullshit” Oh this is gonna be good.
        http://www.reactiongifs.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/05/tumblr_ljh0puClWT1qfkt17.gif

        • jesterpunk

          Hope he continues attacking republicans in congress and keeps bringing Pence in. Take down the entire party.

        • dshwa

          Pence has to know he’s never going to get the Trump stink off him. He has no other option but to go all in.

          • Bitter Scribe

            He’s too dumb to even know it stinks.

          • theCryptofishist

            I think politicians are impervious to that kind of self-knowledge. All those people thought they had a realistic shot at the GOP nomination. Well, not Carson…

        • Bitter Scribe

          “Finally”? Pence leaped enthusiastically into the bullshit with both feet the first chance he got.

          • Rocket Pony Ron

            Both feet? Face first. Anything to be just that much closer to the Big Chair.

    • Bub, the cynical zombie

      The difference is in the skin tone, I think.

    • theCryptofishist

      How do you chant “<3"?

      • Rocket Pony Ron

        It’s an art.

        • theCryptofishist

          An ‘art, you say?

  • Anna Elizabeth

    I hereby propose that we change VP Pence’s name to VP Putz.

    • mancityRed6

      you are too kind.
      my names for him aren’t safe for work on a construction site.
      sailors look at me and say, “dude, tone it down a little.”

      • Anna Elizabeth

        Oh, I can swear like a Chief Bosun’s Mate myself, but I figured we needed a SFW nomme d’asse so maybe VP Putz will see it.

      • The Militant Homosexual Agenda

        That whole truck driver/drunken sailor cliche is overrated. You should try working with waitresses!

        • theCryptofishist

          Don’t be silly, women can’t swear.

          • Marion in Savannah

            Wanna fucking bet, asshole? (Sorry, not really directed at you, just making a small point!)

          • theCryptofishist

            Why the fuck can’t you make it obliquely, like I did, bitch. (Ditto–and sorry about the bitch, but you’d already taken asshole.)

          • Marion in Savannah

            Well, ain’t we fucking polite!

          • theCryptofishist

            Emily Fucking Post.

          • LosFelizGuy

            I used to play this game with a girl/friend of mine. She would call me on my cell when I was driving home from work during rush hour traffic (6pm, northbound 110 in LA) just to listen to me make up the most vile/offensive names to call the other drivers. No race/gender/size/profession/etc was safe. Not even their non-existent children or long-dead grandparents were safe. Very cathartic.

          • Shanzgood

            I do that every morning on the school run. If the car windows are open, sometimes it makes random kids in the parking lot throw up.

          • LosFelizGuy

            I always made sure my windows were rolled up. I didnt want anyone actually hearing them and faint on the freeway. Accidents!

          • Shanzgood

            Plus getting shot at.

          • theCryptofishist

            So far from their fainting couches, and maybe they aren’t wearing their clutching pearls that day.

          • jesterpunk

            There is a commercial saying women eat food, who would have known without that commercial?

          • Sophia

            You have obviously never worked at Denny’s on a Sunday after church when all the cheap ass religious nuts come in after church and tip you with a bless you.

          • Bitter Scribe

            Yeah, WTF is it with religious nuts not tipping?

            As a general rule, people wearing crosses or WWJD? (“What Would Jesus Do?”) buttons look at us disapprovingly no matter what we do, as if they were confusing waitressing with Mary Magdalene’s original profession.

            –Barbara Ehrenreich, “Nickel and Dimed”

          • Sophia

            Guess they’re busy giving all their monies to the church so the pastor can buy a mansion and a jet. Hallelujah!

          • theCryptofishist

            The ones who leave religious pamphlets are the worst. Especially if they don’t tip because you shouldn’t be working on the Lord’s Day.
            (Note, I have never waited tables, so I go by stories, not experience.)

          • Sophia

            I forgot about the pamphlets, but yea. Been a while since I waited tables, the majority of people realize you are human but we used to get these religious nuts in by the busload. You always wanted to be working in the smoking section when you saw the buses pull up.

          • Arolpin

            Many years ago, I was actually the busboy, but there was a weekly table that NONE of the waitresses wanted to serve, because the tips were terrible. It was a group of 15-25 women, all of whom had recently come out as lesbians, most of whom realized this when they finally filed for divorce. The waitresses were either Indian med/pharmacy students or South County STL’s finest bubbettes. The Indian waitresses were smart and funny and bitchy, but were obviously uncomfortable around lesbians, and the bubbettes all wore huge crucifixes, so I suspect the problem was partially because the waitresses made themselves scarce as much as possible.
            One Sunday night the group came in, one of the waitresses came back and asked if I would wait on the table because she didn’t want to. I figured if nothing else it was first stop to moving up to waiter, so I gave it a shot. They only ordered coffee and dessert, which is all they ever ordered, but they were easy to deal with, and as long as I kept their coffee cups full, I got more of a tip from that table than any waitress ever got. The really funny thing is that after a couple weeks of this I got a note from a young girl at the table, asking for my phone number. I gave it to her, got her number, called her later in the week. She wasn’t a lesbian, but went with the mom of her ex-boyfriend. Something didn’t seem right, so I did some more digging and quickly decided that she was probably 14-15, so told her I didn’t feel right dating someone so young. Let’s just say that it took several months for her to stop calling, and my roommates didn’t help matters by actually trying to go out with her.

        • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

          Ha! My daughter has learned to swear in multiple regional dialects of Spanish from working as a waitress.

          • The Militant Homosexual Agenda

            And she’ll learn more about human behavior than a BA in psychology.

        • Arolpin

          I’ve worked with waitresses, and I’ve been a sailor. A waitress at a truck-stop, with 40 years of experience, 3 failed marriages, 2 bankruptcies, and a car with a leaking head gasket MIGHT be able to curse like a junior sailor 2 weeks into his first 6-month long cruise.

          The reason that sailors curse so well is the goddammed, ass-licking, hog-fucking boredom that one experiences at sea. It’s not that you’re not busy, it’s that you’re busy doing basically mindless, repetitive talks all day, then you have watches that break up your sleep, and then you have extra duties, so you’re working 12-16 hours/day, but you’re really only doing a couple hours of work. You need something to pass the time, and it’s goofing off, dry-humping anyone who bends over, and working on your competitive cursing. (During one long boring shift, we were playing the dozens and making mom jokes. Some salty dog was riding a wog hard, and wog finally had enough and said something like, “These mom jokes aren’t funny. My mom died last year!” Salty dog didn’t lose a beat, just replied, “I know, I fucked her to death.” Entire shop, including whiny wog just fell down laughing.)

    • theCryptofishist

      We better get a minion of Yr. Wonkette’s Yiddisher Sprachern to approve that first.

      • Covfefe

        Who needs a minion? Roberts Rules. Yay!

      • Marion in Savannah

        Minyan. /pedant

        • theCryptofishist

          *sigh* It’s all right, spelling is a weakness. Now that you point it out, I can see where I went wrong. I was afraid that I was going to get dinged for “Sprachern,” as I more or less constructed that after barely remembered german.

    • Stulexington

      Seconded.

      • Covfefe

        Without objection, be it so ordered.

        • Zyxomma

          You failed to note my objection, above.

          • Covfefe

            Didn’t hear your objection. In the alternative, you were too late. Chair rules against you.

          • Zyxomma

            I’ll still call him Ponce.

    • Zyxomma

      No, Putz is way too nice. I’m going with Ponce.

    • (((fka_donnie_d))), SOB

      As a Jew, I can confirm this

  • dshwa

    Meh, let me know when he actually votes against the Dotard Emperor.

  • Covfefe

    Anyone know how many peeps followed the vice-president out of the sports ball game? Was the stadium half empty? Completely empty?

    • Stulexington

      Did the game not happen because the rest of the teams left?

    • The Militant Homosexual Agenda

      Is the stadium half empty or half full?

      • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

        Well, if the game had been in Santa Clara it would have been half-empty because apparently the North side of the stadium gets 100% sun and during afternoon games you can probably glaze pottery.

        • Courser_Resistance

          There are seats like that in Coors field. Whenever I get free tickets, they’re usually there for an afternoon game.

          • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

            Yes! Been there for that.

          • Courser_Resistance

            Hangin’ in the concourse is the only way to survive. Well, that and the smoking areas (if they still have ’em)

          • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

            Last game we went to was just before legalization. There was a very distinctive smell as we were going in the stadium.

  • theCryptofishist

    I wonder if anyone will ever treat coffee beans like lapsang souchang, producing a smokey coffee.

    • Marion in Savannah

      Lapsang souchang is like drinking what you’d get if you steeped the contents of a full ashtray. Count me out, thanks.

      • The Militant Homosexual Agenda

        I had to look it up and found this…

        “the finished tea is given some extra drying over smoking pine fire, imparting a sweet, clean smoky flavor…”

        WTF is CLEAN smoke?

        • Marion in Savannah

          All I can say is don’t go there. Ever.

        • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

          Smoke free of sin.

          • The Militant Homosexual Agenda

            Like one of Pence’s farts?

        • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

          Clean Coal. And then you burn it in your truck? Yeah, like that.

      • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

        How right you are. 30 years ago I had one sip of Lapsang souchang. One. Declared, “I might as well lick an ashtray,” and never looked back.

      • Shanzgood

        I like it. But then I also smoke, like Starbucks coffee, dark chocolate, and (apparently) bitter Irishmen.

        • theCryptofishist

          3 years ago, I rolled into a cafe, must have been sick and not up for coffee, so I chose it off the menu, based on tasting notes. I let it sit for along while, added milk and sweetener. I hated the first sip, and wasn’t too thrilled about the second either. By the end of the glass (technically a paper cup) it was okay. All that afternoon, I had the faint taste of it in my mouth, and I decided that I loved it. I’d like to try a coffee like that, although, I rarely do Starbucks, so I would hope some other roaster. Dog knows that the Bay Area is a hot bed of coffee roasting–someone might do it to stand out. Maybe as some sort of Chinatown/North Beach cross over.
          It’s hard to get a hold of, but I’m thinking that maybe 99 Ranch would have it.

        • Rocket Pony Ron

          The trick with bitter Irishmen is to drink them at just the right temperature.

          • Shanzgood

            That can be tricky for hot-headed Scottish-Irish women.

            Tricky but never boring.

      • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

        An acquired taste. I love Lapsang Souchang while enjoying cigars.

      • Cat Cafe

        I so agree! Have never understood the appeal!

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      Well, Starbucks treats coffee like charcoal…

    • Zyxomma

      No need. There’s a small handheld appliance called The Smoking Gun (the original was by Polyscience, now there’s one by Breville) that allows you to infuse wood smoke (apple, mesquite, hickory, etc.) into food or drink. You could make an individual cup of smoked coffee, or infuse the whole pot.

      • theCryptofishist

        And liquid smoke, also, too. Thank you.

        • Zyxomma

          I wouldn’t use liquid smoke. I love the stuff, don’t get me wrong. But it has vinegar and molasses in it, and I think they’d fuck up the flavor of the coffee.

  • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

    I just got home from LA.

    *looks*

    I see not much has changed.

    • The Militant Homosexual Agenda

      I never know…Los Angeles or Louisiana?

      • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

        Los Angeles.

        • mancityRed6

          my sympathies either way

          • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

            Wasn’t so bad – wish Arizona would have won. Got some shit from Dodger fans, but I get worse from Giants fans so it’s okay.

          • Cat Cafe

            HEY!!!!

          • mancityRed6

            and Kansas says, “hello!”

      • grindstone

        Lower Alabama

    • Anna Elizabeth

      How was the game?

      • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

        Well, we lost. But other than that it was an experience. They opened the gates 3 hours before the game, so we could wander down to the field level and watch batting practice. Maury Wills was given the honor of the ceremonial first pitch. And I guess since Vin Scully retired, they started a tradition where someone will be selected to give his traditional phrase “It’s time for Dodger baseball!” before each game.
        Yesterday, in honor of the 60th anniversary of the L.A. City Council ratifying the agreement bringing the Dodgers to the city they had one of the members of that council do the honors. She looked pretty spry for 87 years old.

        • Anna Elizabeth

          Nice! :) I’ve never been to a Major League game, but I’ve been to see the old minor league Denver Bears/Zephyrs twice, back in the 80s.

          Batting practice is fun, I like to see when they do it and it’s not just a home run derby.

          I bet the Dodgers sell better hot dogs.

          • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

            They have two different types – the standard pork-beef mix “Dodger Dog” and an all-beef “Super Dodger Dog” for a dollar more. But both are about 10-12″ long. I thought about getting the carne asada fries, but decided I didn’t want that heavy a meal.

          • Anna Elizabeth

            :) I’m eating a Hot Dog at this moment, but probably not as tasty.

  • jesterpunk
    • Resistance Fighter Astraea

      Didn’t Trump call for a boycott in one of his tantrums?

      • jesterpunk
        • FukuiSanYesOta

          Donna Warren, eh?

          “Humor | Political Activist | Delegate | Published Photographer &
          Writer | Credited Furniture Designer | Former Wakeboard Champion | Advocate | RT’d by DJT”

          She’s a credited furniture designer and everything.

          • jesterpunk

            I don’t know how to link retweets, but Trump did retweet that.

          • FukuiSanYesOta

            She’s very proud of that. That puts her in the pantheon, alongside some nazis.

          • mancityRed6

            oh shit, it’s the furniture shopping thing again.

          • FukuiSanYesOta

            No shit. I’m surprised she didn’t put “willing grabee” on there.

          • jesterpunk
          • FukuiSanYesOta

            “And this, children, is how NOT to do self-respect”

          • theCryptofishist

            Belly laugh achieved!

          • jesterpunk

            I mean that is an actual shirt people wear to his rallies which is pretty sad.

          • theCryptofishist

            I’ve seen it before, That Hannity head elevates it to a whole new level.

          • theCryptofishist

            That is such a lovely phrase, although, perhaps, meaningless.

          • Rocket Pony Ron

            Yes and no.
            ‘Jeezus fucking CHRIST, who designed this POS chair?’
            ‘Donna Warren. She gets all the credit for it.’

          • mailman27

            She didn’t couch that CV in very humble terms.

          • The Militant Homosexual Agenda
          • Dept. of Space Tacos

            People like this are inevitably assholes, let me translate:

            Humor = I think I’m funny on Twitter and Facebook
            Political Activist = I rage about meaningless shit on Twitter and Facebook.
            Delegate = Doesn’t say which convention. It’s something I’ve never done, but my guess it was so the local party could shut her up.
            Published Photographer = My picture of a flower won the local newspaper’s contest
            Writer = See Twitter and Facebook above. Maybe a blog.
            Credit Furniture Designer? = Credited, as in a movie? Or accredited. Either way, I think she’s probably a designer the same way ivanka is.
            Former Wakeboard Champion = Nice, but is that internationally, nationally, or at a tournament on Goose Grease Lake in 1994?
            Advocate = See Twitter and Facebook above.
            RT’d by DJT = so are actual white supremacists and nazis.

        • The Wanderer

          Aw, poor little triggered RW snowflake.

        • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

          Didn’t his last boycott fail? The one of the NYT? Didn’t their subscriptions go up?

          • jesterpunk

            Remember when they boycotted Starbuck’s by going into Starbuck’s and spending a lot of money to buy drinks with Trump’s name on them? Yeah Trump and his supporters are really bad at boycotts.

          • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

            Yeah, and the “fans” that are protesting by burning their jerseys. Just burn that money.

          • The Militant Homosexual Agenda

            I remember asshats in NYC protesting by pouring their French wine down storm sewers because France didn’t support our war on Iraq. The French wine makers don’t care if you wash your dog with it. You already PAID them for the wine. And once their little tantrum was over they had to buy even more to restock their cellars.

          • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

            ^^THIS

        • Canis Greyhame

          She might as well just cut to the chase and use the word “uppity”.

      • mancityRed6

        “dammit, no one is doing it. just like the It movie. go out there and do a thing for me or you’re out!”

    • TJ Barke

      Fucking moron.

    • I knew Pence wouldn’t walk out without Papa Dotard’s permission.

      • Rocket Pony Ron

        He has to be counting the days until Donnie gets frog-marched out of the Oval Office.

  • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

    So not only did Pence decide to pick the day they retired Peyton Manning’s jersey to make the story about him, his little $500,000 stunt also pissed off the only other major-league team in the state.

    https://twitter.com/Clarky_Tweets/status/917095968276996097

    • Anna Elizabeth

      Geez Louise!

    • Bub, the cynical zombie

      Pence is a “good Christian.” And I mean that in the strongest possible pejorative sense.

      • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

        “Good Christianist” – no Christian deteched. It’s like “chocolate flavored”.

        • Rocket Pony Ron

          Or ‘cheese food.’

        • Bub, the cynical zombie

          “Mock Christian”

          • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

            Nah, *404 error – no mocking found*

    • Do we know if Mother has teeth? She seems tense.

    • 🦇🎃 Treg Brown 🦇🎃
      • jesterpunk

        This is also disrespecting the flag.

        https://imgur.com/m2bOfPG

        • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

          Fucking moron!

        • DrBigHead

          Same with those assholes that drive around with their tattered flag waving from their cars and trucks. You would think if they revered the damn thing as much as they say they do they would learn even a little bit about flag etiquette.

        • Sophia
        • Canis Greyhame

          Jesus, with his grabby little paws even. No means no, damnit.

      • dshwa

        Why is Ted Cruz playing with his nipple?

        • The Wanderer

          It turns him on to feel his own heartbeat.

        • mancityRed6

          just don’t. *retches*
          dammit

          • Shanzgood

            Would think you’d have a stronger stomach already from hanging around here.

          • mancityRed6

            yeah, but there are still things that just don’t sit well.
            and hiding images stopped seeing those naked tRump statues, so…my tolerance is down?

          • Shanzgood

            Fair enough. That’s why I do the “hide media” thing as well.

          • mancityRed6
          • Shanzgood

            Hahaha! I used to get cheeseburgers and shakes there!

          • mancityRed6

            now that is funny.

          • Shanzgood

            Especially since the milkshakes were how I started discovering I’m lactose intolerant.

            “Wait, let’s make that order to go instead.”

          • mancityRed6

            *laughs*
            *farts*
            oh, shit

          • theCryptofishist

            I like that star over the I–it’s such a teeny bopper thing.

          • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

            But you do go onto the Internet right? Do you have a Nanny Filter?

          • Shanzgood

            He looks at Plaid Stallions. You’d think he’d be able to handle ANYTHING after that.

          • mancityRed6

            no. dear lord no. my virgin eyes will just explode.

          • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

            The filter is for kids and keeps you from seeing the creepy stuff. Acts like a proxy server. If your eyes are virgin and you don’t want them reamed, a nanny filter is a good thing.

          • mancityRed6

            oh, I already know what not to look for on the google. and I’m being a good boy. for reasons unknown.

          • The Militant Homosexual Agenda

            I put in a Ninny filter. Haven’t seen anything about Palin in months!

        • therblig

          harkonnen heart plug. they itch.

          • The Wanderer

            You have made me giggle. Thank you.

          • The Militant Homosexual Agenda

            That fucking movie was horrible. I can’t believe Herbert endorsed it.

        • RMKH

          He’s trying to look Napoleonic

          • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

            I was going to say that. Glad I looked further down.

          • Rocket Pony Ron

            Then let’s send him to St Helena and not let him leave.

          • RMKH

            I’m down with that as long as we send the rest of those bozos in the pic also too

        • natoslug

          Because it feels good.

          • theCryptofishist

            He doesn’t have many chances to feel good, after all.

      • Carpe Vagenda

        It has to be quite an experience for Cruz and Rubio to not be the most worthless person in a picture they’re in (Carson at least made life better for one set of conjoined twins).

      • theCryptofishist

        What’s Ted reaching for there? His wallet?

        • Doug Langley

          Just checking that it’s there. Wouldn’t you if Donnie was next to you?

        • Sophia

          Looking for his heart. He misplaced it a while ago

          • Rocket Pony Ron

            ♬ I left my heart… in Calgary Alberta… ♬

          • Sophia

            Man, Calgary really dodge a bullet when he left. Actually all of Canada. We could be the ones putting up with this slime.

          • theCryptofishist

            Well, it was such a tiny thing, we’re not surprised he lost it.

      • Rocket Pony Ron

        ‘I don’t recognise this song. Why is everyone acting like they have heartburn?’

      • The Militant Homosexual Agenda

        And button your goddamn coat!

    • The Militant Homosexual Agenda

      So how many fucking times did he change clothes today?

      • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

        It looks like the suit he wore to church, sans tie. Tres casual.

    • mancityRed6

      it’s getting old to say this, but
      what a fucking dick

      • Résistance Land Shark Ω

        You’d have to ask Mother, but I bet the dick hasn’t fucked anything in years.

        • Christopher Story

          It’s always the quiet ones. If anything, I bet Mother has been scraped more times than a stoner’s pipe.

        • puredog

          AS FAR AS SHE KNOWS.

    • OrG

      Fuck pence. Fuck peyton manning also too.

      • mancityRed6

        now, now. don’t bring sportsball into what an idiot was told to do.

    • Bitter Scribe

      Does anyone else remember Ted Baxter from the Mary Tyler Moore show? Because that’s who this guy always reminds me of.

      • mailman27

        He’s got the hair and the empty-headed look to go with it.

      • Doug Langley

        “Hi, guys . ..”

    • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

      Ok, sportsball fans, help me parse this one out.
      Pence shows up to the Colts game. Did he buy a ticket or was it comped?
      He looks a pastor after church. Is he a Colts fan?
      Mother is wearing a Manning jersey. Has she ever worn one before?
      The jersey looks new. Did Mother buy it?
      They are standing there with their hands over their hearts? Did they stay through the National Anthem?
      When did they walk out? Before or after the ceremony to retire Manning’s jersey?
      The answers to these questions will form my opinion – is this chickenshit or bullshit or both?

      • 🦇🎃 Treg Brown 🦇🎃

        yes

      • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

        It was probably comped by the Irsays – he would have been in the owner’s box.
        And the ceremony to retire the number and induct Manning into the team’s ring of honor happened at halftime. However, it was announced several months ago that this game would be the one where it was done.

  • jesterpunk

    Making hot wings in the smoker for dinner tonight with applewood smoke. This should be good.

    https://media.giphy.com/media/1ktwfTjwaQzde/giphy.gif

    • theCryptofishist

      Damn, I’d invite myself over, but I’m sure there’s accessibility issues.

  • Carpe Vagenda

    o nerds o nerds.

    Dinesh D’Souza gets dragged down the rocky road of critical disregard by massive academic disapproval. No supportive classical studies undergraduates were harmed in the making of this thread.

    https://twitter.com/KevinMKruse/status/916709190269272067

    • Jamoche
    • dshwa

      I love when Dinesh pops up to try to defend himself and just gets obliterated by the responses.

      • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

        Obliterated like a common Tucker Carlson…

        • Johnatx

          That bad?

      • Jamoche

        But you’ve got to move fast, they’re all “Tweet unavailable” now.

        • dshwa

          Like a typical bully, as soon as you confront them they back down, and pretend they were never beaten.

      • Sophia

        Yea but he’s too stupid to realize when he’s been obliterated. Kind of like trump.

      • Christopher Story

        Honestly, that’s the point. I used to pull the same shit with the jocks in grade school. Deliberately provoke a negative response (which usually resulted in some manner of physical assault), then I’d go cry victim.
        Of course, in my case, it was self-preservation from all the verbal and psychological abuse I took from them. A week without that harrassment at least made the tedium of the curriculum bearable. And, I can’t stress this enough,
        I WAS A CHILD!!! Grow up!

    • Dept. of Space Tacos

      he’s done it before. I’ve said before, I commented on one of his stories way back when he tried to claim “western civilization” came up with all the science and technology. ETA: I believe he was calling muslims barbarians who never contributed nothin’.

      Motherfucker, as I understand it, the englightenment in europe was spurred by all the knowledge we brought back from various crusades in the middle east.

      Those folks invented the concept of zero; that unholy “al-gebra”, some astronomy and/or engineering and shit as I recall too.

      • Shanzgood

        Math is hard…because it’s FURRIN!!1!

      • Johnatx

        I wonder if D’ouche realizes that the Nazis would just as soon D’off him if they got the chance?

      • Villago Delenda Est

        D’ouche is such a dipshit. Can’t even get basic world history right.

    • Raan

      I want a Scottish historian to flick away a cigarette before commenting “It’s shite”.

    • I went to college with him. His nickname was Distort D’Newsa. Still distorting history and all else. He’s mean too.

      lololololol

      • Carpe Vagenda

        Were he and Ingraham the fun couple they sound like?

        • Mehmeisterjr

          Only think of Dinesh and Coulter bumpin’ uglies!

          • Carpe Vagenda

            Isn’t she kind of overtly racist about south asians?

      • H0mer0

        I liked this tweet in particular:
        “Dinesh you’re making us brown people look bad. Just stop man.”

      • Valkyrie

        what else can you divulge about the young Distort? Sure hasn’t outgrown his mean streak.

    • Christopher Story

      That was fun

  • Radardude

    I’m having one of my favorite meals tonight, red beans and rice made the old fashioned way of soaking dried kidney beans overnight, the holy trinity of chopped celery, green peppers and onions, rice and the assorted spices. I chop up a pound or so of andouille sausage, add it a couple hours before serving, and all is simmering fragrantly in the crock pot, with an occasional stir. Now, I have to get my lazy ass up and make cornbread batter and bake it. Normally I’d have a chilled white wine, but I’m barren in that regard so beer will have to do.

    • dshwa

      I tend to make mine on the quick side (canned beans, canned tomato, etc.) but would love your recipe. Let’s do some old fashioned mommy blogging here!

      • FukuiSanYesOta

        Whatever happened to Pinkham’s, anyway? I miss that guy.

        • Shanzgood

          He’s still around, sporadically. But, yeah. He should come by more often.

        • Up In Smoke O’hontas

          I’m looking forward to making his scalloped potato recipe as soon as the weather turns. 75 here today, totally normal if you don’t look at historical temp records. Not complaining, mind you, but shorts in October is not average.

      • Radardude

        I’d had to think about how to respond. I’m a seat of the pants cook, like a lot of other things I do. Cooking to me is encapsulated in two things: what does something taste like, more importantly how would they taste combined and heat control. Simple homemade red beans and rice? Soak a pound of dried kidney beans until softened. Chop a large yellow onion, two green peppers and half of a celery bundle. About twice the white rice compared to beans by volume ( also have used a proportion of wild rice and that was pretty damn good.) Water to cover everything plus about three and a half inches in a six quart crock pot. You may have to add more as the rice absorbs it in the cooking process. Spice is to taste but chili powder, thyme, cumin, sage, minced garlic, salt, pepper, black and cayenne, in amounts that are pleasing to you when tasting. A couple of chicken bouillon cubes. Put it all in a crock pot about dawn and set on low for the day. A couple hours before meal time add chopped sausage of your preference for flavor and amount. (I like a bite of sausage for each spoonful.) To me cornbread is almost mandatory, but I’ve also eaten it with saltines and it was still good. I also slice some sharp cheddar cheese to nibble on during the meal.

        • dshwa

          I cook the same way. I may have had a recipe the first time, but it gets edited as I go along and to taste.

    • Pierre_de_Fermat

      Beer might be a better accompaniment for Red Beans and Rice than wine.

      And, big question: if you were to make gumbo, would you use okra or file?

      • Radardude

        Okra definitely, and file added just before serving. Shrimp has gotten so damned expensive though, even buying it at the boat for mediums is close to $4 a pound and then they need to headed, de-veined and shelled.

        • Pierre_de_Fermat

          Can still get good local on the coast, but prob most of the shrimp served is not local. I think Pinkham did some journimalism on it a while back.

    • HazooToo

      Dinner tonight will be ramen with shrimp and whatever frozen veggies I have.

      • FukuiSanYesOta

        For me, it’s a Thai stir-fry with shrimp. Looking forward to making it.

        • HazooToo

          That sounds goooooooooood! Last night was panang curry with beef and peanuts.

    • CripesAmighty

      Yummy yummy. That sounds like Paul Prudhomme’s recipe. (I almost always cheat cuz it takes about 4 hours to do it right)

    • Pierre_de_Fermat

      Italy (specif Tuscany) has some great bean soups (cannellini, you almost always want cannellini — it’s a haricot, like great northern).

      • FukuiSanYesOta

        Oh yeah, Tuscan bean soup!! The only thing with that, while delicious, is the extra gas production the next day.

        • Pierre_de_Fermat

          I keep thinking there is some prep method that cuts down on that. Probably mentioned in one of the ATK mags or shows.

          • FukuiSanYesOta

            It was the Cooks Illustrated recipe I used. Then discovered something called “Bean-O”, which does help.

      • Carpe Vagenda

        My nonna’s pasta é fagiole was ditalini, cannelini and pesto. It was truly epic.

      • Radardude

        I lived in Italy two years and the variety of regional cuisines, depending on what city, town, or village you were in was an absolute delight. Twenty years later I still have my Italian green card as a resident alien, and remember Angelina – but that’s a far different story.

    • mancityRed6

      I picked up some hash browns and a sketchy croissant sandwich on my way out of town this morning. I’m good.

  • RMKH

    That’s some Wonkette-grade smack he’s talking. Love it.

  • Bub, the cynical zombie
    • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

      Retweeted and Shared. I’ve been going through his blog and I like the cut of his jib.

      • TJ Barke

        Yeah, he’s pretty on the ball.

      • Martini Ambassador 🍸

        I follow him. He’s good.

      • Dept. of Space Tacos

        his pieces are way too long, his tweets are perfect though.

        • Paul

          He’s a lot like Rachel Maddow. Thoroughly researched and prepared, and presents a cogent argument.

          That said, both of them can go on a bit. Ask ’em what time it is and they’ll you how to make a watch.

          • Holly

            But they’ll tell you in an amazing way that you’ll understand.

          • MarinaJCapone

            Google is paying 97$ per hour,with weekly payouts.You can also avail this.
            On tuesday I got a brand new Land Rover Range Rover from having earned $11752 this last four weeks..with-out any doubt it’s the most-comfortable job I have ever done .. It sounds unbelievable but you wont forgive yourself if you don’t check it
            !dw272d:
            ➽➽
            ➽➽;➽➽ http://GoogleNetJobsSportWorkFromHome/more/cash ★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫:::::!dw272luu

        • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

          I like the pieces. And too long is relative.

          • Juan de Fuca

            Agreed. I think he’s a very good writer.

    • Jacob DiCiaula

      Making soldiers props also has some fascistic tendencies

    • weighmaster

      I like that, and would add that when we have reached the point at which our elected officials will not respond to the grievances of the citizens unless and until they are publicly shamed, then it becomes the patriotic duty of the citizenry to publicly shame them.

  • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

    Dinner tonight? Whatever I have in the fridge because I leave in the morning for Myrtle Beach. Beach week with my mother. A girl’s trip, a very boring girl’s trip. A restorative girl’s trip. Much needed. Whatever doesn’t get eaten, gets tossed. I look forward to coming home to a clean house!

    • Courser_Resistance

      Have a wonderful, restorative time!

    • FukuiSanYesOta

      I rather liked Myrtle Beach. Have a relaxing time, cynmac!

    • dshwa

      I’m on the restorative beach trip right now in Virginia Beach. Have fun on yours.

    • Thanksgiving dinner: turkey, stuffing, turnip, mashed potatoes…etc

      • Up In Smoke O’hontas

        Happy thanksgiving! You guys are thankful you’re not America this year, eh?

    • Fartknocker

      If you see any hurricanes please just shoo them away like my mom does to annoying, small, yapping dogs.

      • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

        The bulk of Nate is hitting the Atlanta area this evening. We got the first of the rain this morning, really heavy and the winds are supposed to stay strong. Our concern is downed trees and tornados.
        Nate is merging with another front out of Tennessee, so it’s raining from LA to Ontario, Canada. The storm is skewing west and there is no rain forecasted in Myrtle Beach after tomorrow. It’ll rain in Atlanta all week. A good time to leave town.

    • Sophia

      Looks like I’m having a jar of peanuts.

    • Rocket Pony Ron

      Hope it’s still there when you get there.

      • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

        See answer below.

    • Up In Smoke O’hontas

      Restorative sounds great! Have fun! I suggest a Baileys and banana omlet, cuz you don’t want to come bak to curdled Baileys, or so I’ve heard.

  • CO
  • CripesAmighty

    So, just rolled in from work. Anybody say anything interesting today?

    You don’t say… https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/5ef53912ba044ca703c999c638a3b0a7c262073442d0625542c70d2bc45e12a2.gif

  • Carpe Vagenda
    • TJ Barke

      These are literally traitors in service of a foreign power.

      • theCryptofishist

        I think we can bring out the word Quislings.

        • Cat Cafe

          Just think how the Quisling descendants are huddled, hoping desperately that finally “Trump” will replace their family name as meaning traitorous weasel.

      • jesterpunk

        So republicans?

        • TJ Barke

          They are now…

      • Christopher Story

        Wow, I was being snarky before, but now it’s for real. They really are going to burn this country to the ground just to laugh at the “leftists” choking on the smoke.

    • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

      Or rocket surgery.

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸
    • HazooToo

      I missed this entire thing. What idiotic thing happened, now?

      • FukuiSanYesOta

        Mike Ponce walked out of a Colts game because some players kneeled.

        So tedious.

        • HazooToo

          Did he at least pay for the tickets, or did we?

          • Sophia

            HA! You paid for the security and the trip if nothing else.

          • FukuiSanYesOta

            We did, and the Colts. To the tune of $500K or so.

            I loathe these people.

          • Royal Ugly Globalist Dude

            Fucker. I’m sure some fan would have liked to use those tickets.

          • Mike Steele

            Regular fans had to undergo extra-super-special security measures, since Pence’s drive-by slur was known of and orchestrated in advance.

          • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

            Probably wouldn’t be allowed in the VIP section though.

        • Sophia

          I don’t understand. They were praying for social justice and equality. What’s he got against praying?

        • Stulexington

          Oh, and the press corps were told to stay in the parking lot so they could catch him leaving. And he had something scheduled in California that he would have been late for if he stayed for the entire game.

          But totally spontaneous.

        • Rocket Pony Ron

          Now THAT is one tender little snowflake.

        • Doug Langley

          Good for the players.

        • Canis Greyhame

          Well that’s his story, I say he did it because the sound of the anthem made his ears bleed and he hates veterans.

        • grindstone

          Not entirely sure taking on the NFL is the smartest move, so of course this idiot adminstration is doubling down.

    • Canis Greyhame

      Really, he walked away FROM THE FLAG AND ALL THE VETERANS after they played their sacred song? How disrespectful. (I mean, shit, if they can assign false motives, so can we.)

  • https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/9f91c6302236e4b2d277875872c5f6cae0753e6328f65f8a2122bb463c1849b1.png
    Dear Mr. Pence
    Thank you for making clear your priorities.
    Kindly fuck your Mother.
    Not yours ever,
    Jesus Christ

  • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

    Damn. Just got jumped on — on Facespace by some random dude, acting like a common Wonkette troll, commenting on an article I posted about Google planning to use balloons to restore cell phone service in Puerto Rico. He had the poor spelling, name calling, and Cernovich supporting (I peeked at his page). He seems to have left after I responded with properly worded and spelled logic. That’s the first time that’s happened (and no relation to any of my RWNJ family. I give him a D+.

    • Next time just ask him how the weather is in Novgorod. He won’t know.

      • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

        Awesome! I told my husband I learned all my troll wrangling skills from Wonkette.

      • Cat Cafe

        I use Google Translate to translate “Go back to Moscow, Russian troll” into Russian and post that as my answer: вернуться в Москву, русский тролль

  • Blackest Noobs

    probably not Pence’s mother song.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Gw5pyjBYmQ

    • HazooToo

      Haven’t heard that one in years

  • Paperless Tiger

    What’s this? Some more weird Republican dominance rituals? Geez, guys, give it a rest. It’s Sunday.

  • Rachel Book Harlot

    Trump winning at its best.

    Trump’s golf clubs in Scotland lost more than $24 million in 2016
    http://wapo.st/2gl0qjt

  • HazooToo

    Is anyone keeping a running tab of all the expenses these assholes are racking up? I know we’ll probably never see a dime, but it would be useful to shock some of the so-called “fiscal conservatives”. Personally, I think they’re about as real as ROUSs, but some cold hard numbers might be useful in case one decides to jump out of the shadows and bite me.

  • Carpe Vagenda
    • yay! I much approve of the public expense bit. Hammer that shit home

    • Royal Ugly Globalist Dude

      AKA “faking umbrage”

  • DerrickWildcat
    • Wonky Magoo

      Current mood, until about 2021

  • James

    Off-topic: Before sunrise this morning my wife had our neighbour in to help install the new curtain rods for the pencil-pleat drapes she made. They look way better than the Seventies kitch drapes that came with the house when we bought it.

    She extends thanks to the now-unremembered Wonkette non-commentator who directed her to a Website to find drapery patterns.

    They look excellent.

    Penzey’s, pattern companies, you folks are going to break our budget. We’ll eat and look good though.

    • Johnatx

      Penzeys is good. I go with my wife.

    • The Militant Homosexual Agenda

      “Before sunrise”????

  • FDRliberal
    • Blackest Noobs

      this Congress? i dunno. i mean they do like to talk. talk about things. sometimes it is even talk of things they would do. keyword is would…cuz they usually do nothing.

      • Blackest Noobs

        like seriously, this aint yo Daddy’s Republican party…heck those guys were just as vapid yet were able to impeach a President over fellatio. FELLATIO.

        then and now are both with the win at all cost mentality.

        but now? HA! i would faint with much surprise if they could bag my groceries never mind running the halls of government.

        WOOT WOOT says the GOP we WON by electing PEOPLE who HATE GOVT so much that they are incompetent in running it. you know to prove their point.

    • SayItWithOtters

      Not a child, a senile grandpa. Who goes to adult day care.

      Fantastic that they’re giggling in public about this NOW.

    • James

      Needz moar tax cuts for billionaires first.

  • Canis Greyhame

    When you no longer have any more fucks to give about Trump’s brainwashed base trying to primary you from the right.
    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Political_gaffe#Kinsley_gaffe

  • bluicebank

    In other news, the NYT reports yesterday that Team Trump has shifted its strategy toward Robert Mueller, now employing the let’s-butter-him-up tack that never works on square-jawed G-men who shoot between the eyes.


    WASHINGTON — White House officials once debated a scorched-earth
    strategy of publicly criticizing and undercutting Robert S. Mueller III,
    the special counsel investigating Russian efforts to disrupt last
    year’s election. Now, President Trump’s lawyers are pursuing a different
    course: cooperating with the special counsel in the hope that Mr.
    Mueller will declare in the coming months that Mr. Trump is not a target
    of the Russia inquiry.
    https://www.nytimes.com/2017/10/07/us/politics/trump-russia-legal.html

    ha ha ha ha. White House probably never watched “Columbo”: the villain attempts nice AT FIRST, then later gets huffy as the detective keeps walking away only to turn around and go “Oh just one more question, asshole.” Trump’s doing it backward.

    • Jamoche

      Or the Untouchables TV series – they ran a marathon around the beginning of the year and it’s really astonishing how much Donnie resembles the more idiotic mobsters.

    • Darrell Imaginarian

      The guy has certain fixed ideas doesn’t he. WHEN IS THE GUBMINT GONNA ANNOUNCE TRUMP ISN’T UNDER INVESTIGATION!

    • AnnieGetYerFun

      It’s so crazy… it just might WORK!

  • FDRliberal

    I’m doing my damn taxes now. Just thinking of Pence wasting my money on this idiotic stunt that was directed by the Orange Scumbag makes my blood boil.

    • Cat Cafe

      I’ve been openly angry about it since Iraq. #TaxationWithoutRepresentation

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        Particularly since Bush was appointed to be president, rather than actually elected. It’s funny how both of the worst presidents in my lifetime both lost the popular vote.

    • 🦇🎃 Treg Brown 🦇🎃
    • jesterpunk

      Just claim its against your religious beliefs to support President Pussy grabber and don’t pay your taxes. Sessions said its ok.

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      The amount Pence wasted is NOTHING compared to the $20 million that was wasted on BENGHAZI!!!!!, or the amount wasted on “protecting” Betsy DeVos, or Trump’s golf cart rentals for his weekend vacations, or the $1.5 trillion they’re going to piss away giving tax cuts to the Koch brothers, who have only managed to accumulate $90 BILLION dollars.

  • Panika MCD

    I must say I get a kick out of these Republican TX House members (Phelan and Larson specifically) being all, “why yes! I do think we should do more conservation easements because: MOTHER NATURE IS AWESOME and a whole lot cheaper than dams. did we not have a bill regarding this last session? yes we did and it did not pass because THE SENATE SUX!” (and by the senate sucking, they really mean Dan Patrick and the Mucusettes) and Rep. Swanson’s face as she realizes that taking up with the Freedumb Cacas may not have been the best plan as a freshman.

    • Johnatx

      She’s the one that primaried Debbie “Terror Babies” Riddle, right? Oh, has the person running for chair of TCDP had their thing yet? I can’t remember

      • Panika MCD

        a) it was Anchor Babbies.

        b) yes. Swanson was the one who primaried her. Mucus was pissed that Riddle had voted against Sticky’s pet bill of forcing women to carry non-viable fetuses to term as a member of Calendars.

        c) no. Cofer’s thing is on the 12th at Scholz’s. should we get some pf the other wonkers down to it?

        • Johnatx

          Sure. The 12th is ok. That’s Friday?

          • Panika MCD

            Thurs, I believe.

          • Johnatx

            Nuts. I’ve got to go over to Houston and then to College Station on Thursday late afternoon. Stuff for my kid. I doubt that I would get back to Austin before 9 pm or thereabouts. Would the thing still be going on?

          • Panika MCD

            maybe. give me a call.

          • Johnatx

            Ok. Will do

  • Dept. of Space Tacos

    (CNN)A handwritten note in Stephen Paddock’s hotel room contained calculations pertaining to the distance and trajectory from his 32nd-floor window to the crowd of concertgoers he targeted below, according to a law enforcement source with knowledge of the investigation.

    • Dept. of Space Tacos

      A source close to the investigation told CNN on Friday that authorities think Paddock might have fired at massive jet fuel tanks at McCarran International Airport near his hotel before shooting at the concert crowd.

      A Mandalay Bay security guard who authorities believe drew Paddock’s attention toward the hallway outside his hotel suite went to that floor to respond to an alarm due to an open door near Paddock’s room…
      • The alarm from a room “a number of doors down” from Paddock’s likely was a coincidence. The door was not forced open, had been open for a while and Paddock didn’t have the keys to that room. McMahill said that door either had been left open or didn’t shut completely.

      Police don’t know what the killer was going to do with 50 pounds of explosives found in his car.

      Paddock tried to buy tracer ammunition at a gun show in the Phoenix area in recent weeks, a law enforcement official briefed on the investigation told CNN.

      Paddock bought other ammunition at the show, but he couldn’t obtain the tracer ammunition — bullets with a pyrotechnic charge that, when the round is fired, leaves an illuminated trace of its path — because the vendor didn’t have any to sell, the official said.

      The official explained that if Paddock had tracer ammunition, he could have had a more precise idea of where his shots were going in the darkness, and could have been more accurate.
      ….

      But tracer rounds also could have allowed police to see Paddock’s location more quickly, CNN law enforcement analyst James Gagliano said.

      Without the tracer ammunition, Paddock’s location was difficult to determine from the outside, said Gagliano, a retired FBI supervisory special agent.

      • TJ Barke

        The tracer rounds probably would have also ignited those fuel tanks.

        • Sakonyachen

          Im not sure it would work that way, but it is plausible. I’m not sure with the distance involved if the tracer round would still be ignited, and I don’t know if jet fuel is like diesel fuel where it will just extinguish a match if you drop it in.

          • Rocket Pony Ron

            Newer mixes of the stuff have flame suppressants. No idea what was in those particular tanks, though.

          • Anna Elizabeth

            Jet fuel is a derivative of Kerosene, I do not know if it flashes more or less easily than Diesel.

          • Sakonyachen

            Off topic or possibly on topic considering the person in question?

            https://youtu.be/HuO3wwLuF0w

      • Sophia

        I read somewhere they had found bullets i the planes

      • Rocket Pony Ron

        Police don’t know what the killer was going to do with 50 pounds of explosives found in his car.

        I’m guessing, blow something up?

        • Mehmeisterjr

          Probably just clear some old tree stumps, right?

          Anyhow, this is not the time to discuss it.

        • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

          or blow himself up, accidentally?

          • puredog

            When I heard about the ammonium nitrate in his car, I was really quite surprised that, given his predictable suicide-by-cop arc, he hadn’t booby-trapped his room a la Holmes.

      • AnnieGetYerFun

        This is Hollywood’s fault, obviously.

    • Johnatx

      Jesus. That is chilling.

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      The man was an accountant right up until the end.

  • Jennifer R
    • TJ Barke

      Rick’s too nihilistic…

      • Mormos

        so is the universe

    • Raan

      I feel like Harmon and Roiland would probably be down with that.

    • (((Alt-Sedagive)))

      I am so down with that idea.

      Pan-dimensional, super-intelligent, time-travelling nihilists for peace!

    • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

      Retweeted and Shared

  • mancityRed6
  • norcalOG

    Maybe now Tennessee can nominate its own Roy Moore?

  • Resistance Fighter Astraea
    • Dept. of Space Tacos

      10/08/17 at least has corrected levels

    • Johnatx

      Dear God. Maybe we are in some sort of time warp thing. Like on Star Trek

      • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

        I want back to pre2016 reality

        • Johnatx

          Just loop on 2009-2010. Obama. Majority in Congress. I had hair

      • wait! what?

        I don’t see any goatees…

        • Johnatx

          Seb Gorka?

    • OrG

      Lazy fascist.

    • (((Alt-Sedagive)))

      He can almost pass for human, but little mistakes like that one give the game away.

    • WIDTAP

      Hey! It’s hard to get everyone around you to dress the same after three years!

      • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

        Ok, that answers the question. Mother is a fan and did own the jersey she was wearing today. I bet she would have liked to have stayed for the halftime ceremony.

    • Dept. of Space Tacos

      maybe he thought it was just a really really really good pic of himself.

    • Viktor

      Pence just pulled the online dating “using old pics as current pics bait and switch”

    • Mike Steele

      Referee tweets (original def.) while his wife proudly watches him on TV: FAKE NEWS. Half the distance to the midterms. Dems get the ball on the ’18.

    • Shibusa