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BRACE YOURSELVES, fellow social justice warriors — for we are all about to be “triggered” like we have never been “triggered” before. Angry white men across the globe have raised $52,000 so far to help alt-Right MRA genius Vox Day publish a comic that he wrote, specifically for that purpose. Also to “replace” all of the DC and Marvel comics that have been “poisoned” by political correctness and turned all of his favorite white male heroes into LADIES or MINORITIES or SOMETHING. I don’t know.

Unlike all the mainstream comics, this comic will have people smoking cigarettes and ladies in Confederate flag bustiers.

Naturally, it is called Alt-Hero. There is even a trailer for it, though I warn you that you may want to have your smelling salts handy before watching, because we do not want you suing Wonkette should you be “triggered:”

I myself was not actually triggered by this video. I can’t tell whether that is because I am in a fog from all my cold medicine, or because it is painfully boring. I am guessing i is a mixture of the two.

According to the fundraising page for Alt-Hero, the comic itself appears to be about a world in which the Holocaust never happened, but like, some kind of atomic bombing did happen? And because of the atomic bombing thing, or maybe something else (No one knows! Maybe aliens!) some people got magic powers!

Some scientists believe Homo Sequens to be a consequence of the advent of atomic weapons, others consider it to be an indicator of alien intervention. Optimists consider them to be the next step in the evolution of Man, while pessimists fear that they will inevitably bring an end to the human race. Regardless, what is clear is that Homo Sequens is real, that it is rare, and that its individual members are invaluable to the government, or private organization, that can effectively harness their wide range of talents.

Unfortunately, the UN had to go and be a jerk about it and wouldn’t let them do their magic powers, or join the military (????). But IN THE SHADOWS, a bunch of rogue people with magic powers decided to band together and fight immigrants and Antifa. Wow, what a good story line! Very compelling!

Following the announcement of this comic book series, Vox noticed that a few random people on Twitter (LIBERALS, PROBABLY) were making fun of it. He then surmised that this meant that they were all very scared of it, because of how it will expose them as the evil villains they are:

What I found the most interesting was the idea that anything short of an undefined “success”, which as we all know will be redefined and re-redefined as Alt⭐️Hero meets with the usual metrics of success over time, is tantamount to “sad humilation”. Think about how twisted one’s psyche has to be to make that connection, and what a crushing fear of failure one would have to have in order to think that way.

That is the heart of the SJW, which is not only terrified of failure, but is terrified that someone, somewhere, will be successful doing something of which the SJW does not approve.

Of course, SJWs have good reason to be terrified of Alt⭐️Hero. Because they know they are the true villains and the enemy in the cultural war.

Yeah, I guess that makes sense! Surely this will be a bestseller, and we will all cry our sad SJW tears when everyone reads this comic instead of the comics we want them to read.

But what if you are not someone who reads comics, but still wants to thwart all those evil internet people who tell you that you can’t use racial slurs anymore? Well, luckily for you, Vox Day has another thing you can give him money for. It is “Voxiversity” — the online university that will help you in your quest to be shitty to women and minorities.

The launch video for that is very explodey, like an action movie, except instead of “action” it is just some bald dude talking to you about how Twitter is mean to him:

It’s like Harvard, but for people who are really boring and don’t have much of a personality outside of being a white dude who wants to go around “offending” people all the time.

And this is now your open thread!

[RightWingWatch | Angry White Men]

Instead of giving your money to a weird sad racist guy to make bad comics, please give some money to Wonkette so we can make good internet postings!

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  • canes_pugnaces
  • Zach Williams

    Well, that looks absolutely terrible. The art style is awful, the writers are clearly jackasses and the “token female” outfit looks like fucking bondage gear.

    Now, completely off-topic, I reached Level 85 on my Hunter alt in WoW. I don’t get the flack Pandaria gets. I mean, yes, bipedal pandas did seem like a stupid idea in 2012 but DAMN Pandaria has some nice scenery and music. Only thing I’m disappointed by is that there’s very little variety for hunter pets. I’ve got a tiger named Jeanne and a fox named Tohsaka and they’re great but they’re a wee bit dull for my tastes.

    • Just another entry in a long tradition of tedious, terrible wingnut comics.

      http://www.misterkitty.org/extras/stupidcovers/stupidcomics21.html

    • major_asshole

      I have no issue with the art style, as it rips off the actual good comics. (I mean, they’re not going to write a comic and then draw it like anime, right?) I don’t really have a problem with the bondage gear, either, because Marvel (Jean Grey, Psylocke, and Storm, among SOOO many others) and DC (Wonder Woman, Hawkgirl, Batgirl, and so forth) have both put their characters in less clothing than you’d see at Mardi Gras.

      I have a HUUUGE issue with the content, the writing, and the storylines. It’s either terrible or a rip-off of good comics.

  • spangled

    did y’all see the title at the end of the comic video? this dude is gonna get sued by Marvel SO HARD

  • BadKitty904

    To be “triggered,” I think you have to give a fuck about the “triggering” item. So I think we’re pretty safe here.

    These guys even suck at “spite”…

    • foiled again

      Only one Triggered here is Roy Rogers, and he’s dead. So’s Trigger.

      • Billy Wigglestaff

        Pardon me Roy, is that the cat who chewed your new shoes?

      • Rags
        • foiled again

          Get stuffed, Roy, also, too.
          Kind of off the subject, but I think we should start taxiderming our Nationable Heroes into action poses.

          • Rags

            Like Trump on the shitter with fone?

          • foiled again

            Two legs protruding from His Golden Stool should oughtta do it.

        • Seek

          I saw poor old Trigger about 10 yrs ago and he was looking a little … dusty and unloved. I think it may have been longer ago than that. Does anyone know if they closed that “museum”?

    • The people who laugh at “triggers” are always, of course, the easiest people to set off.

  • shastakoala

    I don’t really like comics. Now I really don’t like comics. But Archie and Veronica are ok. They were when I was twelve.

    • foiled again

      Jughead or GTFO

      • (((Aron)))

        Porgy and Mudhead!

        • foiled again

          “MoreScience High….it’s…DISAPPEARED!”

          • (((Aron)))

            ‘It’s those bullies over at Communist Martyrs High School.’

        • Eileen Besse

          “Porgy…Tirebiter….” Good song.

          • foiled again

            “If you’re looking for the captain of the Ringball Team, you can bet he won’t be there…”

  • foiled again

    Ho hum….cartoon wish fulfillment by twerpy little zeroes with crappy narratives.
    So surprising. So…edgy.

  • (((Aron)))

    I wouldn’t mind seeing EU-Homme choke the life out of some Identitarian puke.

    That would be a good thing.

  • FukuiSanYesOta

    OK, so I read the fundraising page thingy.

    https://freestartr.com/project/althero/

    I don’t get it. It seems mind-bendingly contrived and stupid.

    Also, I made the mistake of reading the comments

    As for this character herself, I am less put off by her smoking
    (though I do find that unattractive in women) than by the fact that she
    seems to be perpetuating the “kick-ass
    female-who-can-beat-up-guys-many-times-her-size-and-weight” trope, which
    is Leftist through and through.

    (Yes, I know, she has “powers” —
    but I’d rather her power be being a good mother, and that the
    ass-kicking in this comic book be left to men. That, it seems, would be
    more along traditional gender lines, which is what, IMO, the Alt-Right
    should be in part about.)

    • Shanzgood

      FUCK OFF GARBAGE MAN!

      • OutOfOrbit

        STOP SHOUTING!

        • Shanzgood

          MAKE ME!

          • (((Aron)))

            LOUD NOISES!!!

          • Shanzgood

            Well, ok.

          • OutOfOrbit

            TRIED & CUNT DO IT!

        • BloviateMe

          Can you describe the ruckus?

          • (((Aron)))

            Is there a ruckus in the office?

    • Ants In My Eyes Johnson

      Oh hell. I’d say “Never read the comments”, but I can’t ever seem to stop myself from reading a few either. Makes me want to set my computer on fire sometimes.

    • folderol

      Hear, hear! And she should be wearing more modest clothing! And always be in the company of her husband or male family member! And no voting! Women vote for losers, like Hillary.

      If only we could Christianize Saudi Arabia….

      • Celtic_Gnome

        Are you kidding? They let their women drive. They might as well be California.

    • Tokays_don’t_blink

      Why in the darkest regions of hell would anybody want to read a comic about “traditional” anything? I thought escapism was part of the appeal.

  • armed_bears

    I am having trouble working up the level of enthusiasm needed to yawn.

  • BadKitty904

    Here’s what would’ve happened if anyone had been stupid enough to send Chick Publications money…

    • (((Aron)))

      HAW HAW HAW! You goofed!

    • FukuiSanYesOta

      Haw-haw!

      Although, if it were a Chick production, it would have more homoerotic artwork. Think Tom of Finland Meets Jeebus.

      http://media.chick.com/tractimages67491/1033/1033_09.gif

      • (((Aron)))

        And blatant anti-Semitism!

        Beale’s anti-Semitism is less blatant.

  • Anna Elizabeth

    Gag me with a Runcible Spoon. I once read Computer Gaming World magazine regularly, one issue from the mid-90s had a review of an adventure game by Vox Day.

    He somehow managed to contain his vile awfulness for that one review, but I still managed to dislike him.

    I suppose he now aims to “ruin” comics the way he “ruined” the Hugo Awards. I will somehow muddle on with my Social Justice Warrior badge shining. I got history books to read and attractive adults of all genders to Flirt with.

    • BadKitty904

      …They dined on mince, and slices of quince,
      Which they ate with a runcible spoon;
      And hand in hand, on the edge of the sand,
      They danced by the light of the moon,
      The moon,
      The moon,
      They danced by the light of the moon…

    • FukuiSanYesOta

      I just watched the first level of Rebel Moon. Really shitty third rate Doom knockoff.

      This guy was writing games at the same time as me. Glad I never met him.

      • Anna Elizabeth

        It’s by far his loss and your gain. :)

  • Dept. of Space Tacos

    hola! back home!

    I need to catch up on all these wonkette posts…I’ve read a whole one in awhile..just lurked in the non comments.

    • BadKitty904

      Babbycat will help.

      • Dept. of Space Tacos

        i think she’s out back working on her study of avian behavior.

        • foiled again

          I hate it when they bring their homework in for grading.

          • Dept. of Space Tacos

            ikr? Always expecting an “A++”, always deserving an “F-“.

          • foiled again

            “Hey! You left a beak! Incomplete.”

        • FukuiSanYesOta

          Hey, Tacos! When do you get your other exam results?

          • Dept. of Space Tacos

            I’ve got them both now. I got As!

          • FukuiSanYesOta

            Woohoo!! Nice work, dude!

          • Dept. of Space Tacos

            thanks! I got no points taken off for the one today, but I already did my bragging on that. (I was in class and commenting and understanably happy.

            perfection is sooooooo….pleasant and addicting.

          • Shanzgood

            Brag again!

  • BloviateMe

    I dunno, ennui doesn’t really seem like a very appealing super power.

  • Panika MCD

    I personally don’t approve of drop crotch pants, but I am not at war with them. what is it with these assholes wanting a war so badly?

    also too: he may take my comics (okay, I never had any unless you count Maus and Jimmy the Smartest Kid On Earth), but he will never take my cutoffs and boots combo!

  • Ants In My Eyes Johnson

    It was only a matter of time until the Shitler Youth realized that one of the richest (and therefore most successful) comic book artists of all time was Rob Liefeld, and tried to make a go at crappily-crafted comics themselves.

    • Anna Elizabeth

      Oh, the glorious career of Rob Liefeld. As was once stated about Liefeld, he’s like a pair of jeans with a face.

      Behold: https://www.progressiveboink.com/2012/4/21/2960508/worst-rob-liefeld-drawings

      • Fun with Cthulhu

        I read many of those Liefeld comics and did not realize what is blazingly obvious now: The man can’t draw for shit.

        • Anna Elizabeth

          I had some of them myself. X-Force was soooo bad. xD

  • anomie

    Was disappointingly not triggered by the video. Meh squared.

    And no, I’m not on cold meds so that can’t be it.

    Just sad because a while back I’d noticed that people with especially intolerant views were mostly older white folks (including a number of exasperating family members), and I figured let’s just give this time and they’ll die off. Now it’s groups of youngs picking up the mantle of hatred and intolerance. That’s the real gut punch underpinning this video.

  • BadKitty904

    So. When your lurid, bullshit social/moral/political theories are challenged by reason, commons sense, and kindness, write a comic. OK, got it.

  • Lizzietish81

    I bet every time I read ElfQuest this guys get heart burn or something.

    Goes off to read ElfQuest.

    • (((Aron)))

      MY INDIGESTION!!!

  • Reddishrabbit

    So Vox saw Trump U and said “brilliant!”? At least I won’t feel any sympathy for these students.

  • Anna Elizabeth

    And as to “Triggered”…guess what. I have PTSD as a reminder of a lifetime of abuse from my family. I do get Triggered by abusive conduct, sometimes by loud noises, and by things such as near-accidents in traffic.

    It’s painful and difficult at times, but I also get stronger each time. I am not “Triggered” by Incels and other worthless displays by Waste-of-Skin Losers whom shall spend their miserable existences pulling their puds and whining about life’s inequities. To Hell with all of them.

    • Eileen Besse

      THIS.

    • Shanzgood

      Also, they need to learn the difference between “triggered” and “mocking idiocy”.

      • Anna Elizabeth

        They do. Perhaps they could teach a course on that topic at Woxiversity.

    • Tokays_don’t_blink

      Bit OT (and late, apparently) but welcome back!

      • Anna Elizabeth

        ~hugs~ Thank you, never to late to be supportive. :)

        • Daniel

          Hence the post-credit scene in Hamlet.

  • Ellie

    Haven’t read a comic book in many decades. Which ones does the bald idiot hate the most? I’ll buy some.

    • Zach Williams

      I hear recent Superman comics trigger them because Supes defends undocumented immigrants.
      Captain America’s “Hail Hydra” arc has been pissing off the Nazis.

      • foiled again

        Supes vs. stupes.

      • LucindathePook

        Supes IS an undocumented immigrant.

        • The Wanderer

          Hopefully he’ll self-deport. There’s no way to force him.

        • Three Finger Salute

          also too, Jewish

      • Ellie

        My favorite was Wonder Woman, back in the day when she rode air currents. I’m so old, I had Jan of the Jungle comics. But, I’ll take Supe and Captain America if it would upset the bald idiot….who really doesn’t look at all as I’ve always pictured him, which was sort of like an Igor character, eating flies.

        • Celtic_Gnome

          They’re coming out with a biopic about William Marston, the creator of Wonder Woman. It’s called William Marston and His Wonder Women and concerns his relationship with his wife and grad assistant. They all lived together as a family, and both women had children by him.

      • Grokenstein

        They’ve been mad (well, madder) ever since Superman supported Ferguson protesters in his “super-working-man-of-the-people” T-shirt phase.

        https://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/t_original/z4ilumras6tsw6xgrxbj.jpg

        But the truth is, comics are just media. Sometime they reflect the creators’ beliefs but most of the time they just chase whatever the editors think buyers want. DC/Warner has been particularly mercurial, creating successful characters and books that promote diversity one year, then butchering them the next. Marvel isn’t much better, creating the new Ms. Marvel only to have its VP of sales publicly shit the bed with a statement blaming diversity for low sales.

        (God, look at that crowd. STILL mostly white.)

    • Lizzietish81

      Jessica Jones and Luke Cage pisses them off just by existing.

      • Shanzgood

        Much love!

  • Panika MCD

    why is his name “Vox Day”. isn’t it supposed to be “Vox Dei”?

    • Zach Williams

      Actually, his real name is Theodore Robert Beale.
      but he doesn’t like that cuz it makes him sound like a Beta SJW libfag cuck

      • Anna Elizabeth

        xD

      • Panika MCD

        but…he is a cuckold.

        • foiled again

          It’s always cuckold outside in January.

    • foiled again

      Every day is Pox Day when you’re Vox Day. Hey.

    • Anna Elizabeth

      I also too saw on the youTubes that Latin “Vee” should be pronounced as “Wuh”.

      So, hello there Woxday.

      • Panika MCD

        he needs to work on the waxing part.

        • Anna Elizabeth

          xD

      • So, wait. That means Bono’s full not his real name is pronounced “Bono Wox”?

        This makes me giggle happily, for some reason.

        • foiled again

          Giggling at Bono is always the right reaction.

      • Boojum

        Pet Wox!

    • The Wanderer

      He’s a misogynist wad of fuck.

      • Panika MCD

        and can’t spell Latin words.

    • Three Finger Salute

      Vox Pimpuli

      • Panika MCD

        he wishes he were a pimpuli. unfortunately, he’s a pimple.

        • Three Finger Salute

          He is a lonely pimple, lonely as can be.
          Go cry, pimple, we don’t want your company.

  • Grokenstein

    This one’s a lock for Mister Kitty’s Stupid Comics…someday, when a small handful of nerds are asking “hey, whatever happened to that stupid shit about alt-right ‘heroes’ that the pastiest paste-eaters used to masturbate to?” (For the sake of fairness, here’s Mister Kitty’s take on the infamously bad “black power” debacle, Zwanna, Son of Zulu.)

    I’m trying to decide which is the bigger mistake regarding “Voxiversity”–the obvious imitation of Trump U and the legal problems it will invite, or making the name sound too much like “diversity” and thus driving away over half of his potential suckers.

    • I, too, thought the name implied a sort of an alt-diversity, like what happens when you get all different kinds of white people together. You know like big ones, skinny ones, ones that climb on rocks. . .

      • Boojum

        Tough ones, wimpy ones, even ones with racist pox!

        • Rags

          The Vox kids love to haaaate!

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸

    I pretty much saw all this needed with the chick-wearing-confederate-bustier-white-also-maybe-in-bondage-WTF-bqhatver thing. Because women must be all the sexy but also racists and also subservient dishrags that let men tie them up, I guess? I hope her superpower is speedy sammich-makin’.

    • ariel_gee_398

      She doesn’t gain weight during pregnancy and has a six-pack within twenty minutes of giving birth, too.

      • Three Finger Salute

        And people say Hollywood is “liberal”.

    • Zach Williams

      It’s always Americans that make a point of making female characters extremely slutty. And what bugs me most about is how their outfits make NO SENSE in an actual fight.

      Meanwhile, over here in the Fate fandom, female characters wear armor that actually makes sense and the creators have no problem making them “flat”! https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/e2ee5cd7a8428c19123d62236dded94479007aa33dc337aed53778fb592e46c1.jpg

    • Vincent Ricola

      She can shoot babies out of her perfectly groomed vag faster than a speeding bullet.

  • Bub, the cynical zombie

    I’m triggered guys! Really! I am! I’m SO triggered! I’m triggered as fuck!! Do you want to se how triggered I am? Huh? Do you!??

    THIS triggered!!!

    https://media.giphy.com/media/ViUqU2JgM4eaY/giphy-downsized-large.gif

    • Panika MCD

      do zombies have triggers?

      • They tend to shamble aimlessly until they detect brains, so yes?

        • Bub, the cynical zombie

          Also broccoli. We HATE broccoli.

          • foiled again

            Clearly you are a zombie.

        • The Wanderer

          Tactical Tip: Zombies are really good in a straight line. Poor lateral control means that if you dodge fast enough, they’ll just fall over.

          I got that from the Dennis Hopper movie Witch Hunt.

      • Shanzgood

        Movement and loud noises?

    • foiled again

      I haz a triggerdzzzzzzz.

    • Alexander Stallwitz

      “You know what my secret is Cap? I am always triggered”

  • I read “homosequins” and assumed that the comic would be all about drag queens with super powers. (As if there is any other kind of drag queen.)

    • wait! what?

      Misunderstandings like this happen when one is confronted with a boring sequins of events…

    • The Wanderer

      It’s what I thought, at first.

  • wait! what?

    Give it up Russian cultural ratfuckers. Stop trying to make MRA happen in the US.

  • BloviateMe

    They should name the super villain Straw Man, whose super ability is to materialize anywhere, at any time from thin air.

  • Skwerl the Nazi Puncher

    OT: After driving around town this morning looking for 4 inches of food grade tubing, I attempted repair on the coffee maker (Mr. Coffee doesn’t sell repair parts) with vinyl tubing. It didn’t work. I have no coffee. The murders will commence presently.

    • notaten

      I have some leftover tubing from installing my water filter reverse osmosis thingy. I assume it’s food grade. What diameter do you need? I have 1/4″ and 3/8″. Be happy to drop it in the mail for you.

      • Skwerl the Nazi Puncher

        No worries, I’ll just get a new coffee maker. Looks like I do need to use silicone tubing. The vinyl is only good to 125 F where coffee is best at 175 F. I probably have a gooey mess inside.

    • SeekingCovfefeBarbie
    • Anna Elizabeth
    • mancityRed6

      get a chemex and a kettle. it only breaks if you drop it

      • Shanzgood

        It also breaks if someone left it to boil dry on the burner and then someone else (who was only 9) went to go rinse out the sludge with cold water.

        • foiled again

          But you wouldn’t know anything about that design flaw, right?

          • Shanzgood

            Well NOW I do.

        • mancityRed6

          better than an empty measuring glass put in the microwave for 5 minutes

          • Shanzgood

            Or ramen noodles with no water

      • foiled again

        Free when ordered with someone else’s debit card!

    • SkinlessGenderlessMan

      McMaster-Carr will sell you any tubing you can imagine, and ship it to you.

    • SkinlessGenderlessMan

      Or get an AeroPress – stronger, smoother, richer coffee, one cup at a time.

  • gene108

    Are the evil super villains poor caricatures of Hillary and Obama? If not Vox Day is doing it wrong.

    • Three Finger Salute

      He probably hired Ben Garrison as chief animator. XKCD is nothing but stick figures and still has better production quality.

  • Panika MCD
    • Shanzgood

      Tater tots STAT!

    • Anna Elizabeth

      Awwws

    • Martini Ambassador 🍸

      Mayhaps one doth confuse “triggered” with “tired and in need of nappinz.”

      • Panika MCD

        “MAKE A MESS!” ~ JJP

  • Skwerl the Nazi Puncher

    I’ve always wanted to be a super villain. Call me Lex Soros!

    • Well, with a first name like “Lex”, no wonder I’ve never gotten my checks. Lexes never pay their henchpersons.

      • Skwerl the Nazi Puncher

        Sorry, we’ll look into it. Lex has class, not like the Trump, supreme commander of Alt-Right World.

      • Three Finger Salute

        On Smallville it was said to be a nickname for Alexander. I liked that show.

      • grindstone

        After Hours did a skit about the perils of being a henchperson.

        • Rags

          So did Shakespeare

          • grindstone

            Well played.

    • wait! what?

      Secret socialist love child of Hillary and Barack.

      It writes itself…

      • mancityRed6

        and that story line brings the time machine into play.
        good, good.

        • wait! what?

          The main theme is a killer robot driving instructor goes back in time for some reason…

          • Three Finger Salute

            I thought it was a slashfic called Hawaiian Pon Farr Wedding Song.

          • wait! what?

            …beware of the poi-son lipra…

          • mancityRed6

            because the hero can’t save the world if they don’t have a license?

          • wait! what?

            Lol, exactly.

      • Three Finger Salute

        Actually Barack is love child of Uhura and Spock. 🖖🏾

        https://i.imgur.com/be2w9se.jpg

        • Shanzgood

          I love that!

        • wait! what?

          Awesome pic!

        • foiled again

          There was a time when we had the Coolest President Ever.

  • wait! what?

    It’s accurate in the respect that it’s blue and star-clad hero has no peen. That’s how he’s drawn anyways…

    • Skwerl the Nazi Puncher

      Captain Euro has small junk because he is European.

      • wait! what?

        I bet he’s all foreskin, too…

        • SkinlessGenderlessMan

          Inflatable?

  • folderol

    Violence solves everything.

    • The Wanderer

      “Violence never settled anything.” – Attila the Hun

  • Vincent Ricola

    “Voxiversity” sounds like the name of an STD that is contracted when one excessively fucks cruise ship puke buckets.

    • FukuiSanYesOta

      That was a remarkably specific description. Want to tell us anything?

    • Bub, the cynical zombie

      Is it possible to excessively fuck cruise ship puke buckets?

      Asking for a friend.

  • Baconzgood

    Are my Trump U credits transferable?

    • wait! what?

      Yes, but they are hard to mail because they are handwritten on used butter wrappings…

    • Skwerl the Nazi Puncher

      Yes, for $25,000.

    • Canned Covfefe

      You win all the upfists today!

  • Bub, the cynical zombie

    Another thing this asshole’s lame comic triggers me to do:

    http://www.lolriot.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/Superman-getting-drunk-GIF.gif

  • The Wanderer

    I’ve heard of Vox Day. The consensus is that he’s a douche.

    And Homo sequens? “Pursuing Man?”

    • Three Finger Salute

      I bought Homo Deus at Barnes & Noble and got the worst daggers from some woman when I was in line. Dunno if she knew that Deus means God. but I just know she thought I was buying a gay porn novel.

  • mancityRed6

    so, one, maybe stretch it out to three issues and gone?

  • wait! what?

    Well if America ever goes full cartoon, this will be our president:

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/f9fdc1ca34982247f9da2b320e4af0f5664443c09b7614a75ea3973f6e4994f1.jpg

    And this’ll be her first husband:

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/0e39fe59751bb1f75f0ced71f979252e19872c3a7f0c71807182f6750909ebb8.jpg

    (I bet he has thousands of girlfriends…)

    • Three Finger Salute

      This was our president. I haz a sad

      http://geekologie.com/2009/01/10/obama-man.jpg

      • wait! what?

        Fuck, yes.

    • Eileen Besse

      Reminds me of the old Stephen Colbert character, coming down to the ground with the flag in hand and eagle shrieking.

      • wait! what?

        Tek Jensen should definitely be resurrected.

  • Three Finger Salute

    Stupud nazi nurd is stupud. The only good comics had outsiders fighting iron-fisted fascists like this douchebag. Superman was an “Illegal Alien” and also too Jewish. Then there’s the X-Men, who I guess you could say had various abilities that society saw as disorders or “freak” traits. Even Batman, though he didn’t have any “powers” per se, was a billionaire who used his wealth for good instead of evil. Also too, Tony Stark.

    Outside “comics,” there was Harry Potter, Muggles and Mud-Bloods vs. Purebloods. Star Trek, the diverse crew of the Enterprise vs. the Borg assimilationists. Terra Prime vs. Federation. Star Wars, the ragtag bunch vs. the Empire and the cloned Stormtroopers.

    Why would anyone want to read Trump-themed comics when they could read… well…

    http://d.ibtimes.co.uk/en/full/1528781/justin-trudeau-comic-book-cover.jpg

    • wait! what?

      The new “Alpha Flight?”

      If so, Puck looks hot…

    • Zach Williams

      Also outside of comics, Leverage has a former insurance investigator helping the common man, with an African-American hacker and a foreign grifter.
      Dark Matter has known criminals reforming themselves and protecting the galaxy from greedy corporate interests.
      I’m sure I could think of more.

      • Three Finger Salute

        I missed Leverage when it was on. It aired in reruns on Ion TV but always came on at like 3am and only on the weekends. I guess everything good moved to Netflix?

        • Zach Williams

          Yeah. They’ve got all the seasons on Netflix. It’s a good show!

      • Zach Williams

        Oh, thought of more examples in Dark Matter. “One”, despite being the CEO of a multi-planetary corporation and being rich, consistently urges the crew to be reasonable and not do their jobs purely to get more money.
        And then there’s the leader of the ship, Two, who is a badass independent woman who doesn’t take any bullshit and hates being screwed over on getting paid.
        Also, this quote with Two is awesome.-
        3: Who put you in charge?!
        2: You did, when none of you stood up to take the lead. And when none of you argued my command.
        3: …

  • Daniel

    I’m just going to point out that in order to make SJWs “the true villains and the enemy in the cultural war” they have to set this in a universe where the Holocaust didn’t happen.

    • Shanzgood

      I think in their universe it just hasn’t happened YET.

  • Tokays_don’t_blink

    So, essentially a ripoff of X-men, designed by WATB for WATB. Got it.

  • jackie jones

    Read Calexit. Best comic out of the Con this year

  • OrG

    Does wanting to punch a nazi mean you’re triggered?
    Asking for a friend.

    • natoslug

      If so, that’s some amazing time warping triggering.

  • Anna Elizabeth

    And again, for those lacking a love life – while there are zero guarantees, I have found that being comfortable in my own skin and being myself has resulted in lots of positive attention.

    No partner will believe you have anything to offer until *you* believe you have something to offer. Be yourself, your Best Self, have passion for life, have interests and goals and get out there, and you’ll do OK.

    Or, sit in your Mom’s basement complaining that Swimsuit models are ignoring you.

    • Daniel

      Sadly my best self is the one I am when I’m asleep, and that can make conversation difficult.

      • anon_the_great

        For whom?

      • wait! what?

        The conversation would probably be okay, the little bits of drool would probably be unsettling, though.

      • ariel_gee_398

        You just have to find someone with a narcolepsy fetish and you’ll be all set.

        • wait! what?

          Yeah, be careful when you advertise for that: the last thing you want is someone with a necrotizing fetish…

          • foiled again

            To say nothing of Necrotizing Fasciitus. You don’t want that.

          • wait! what?

            It’s one of the hardest gifts to return.

    • Three Finger Salute

      And even if you’re comfortable being single, just be comfortable being single and don’t lash out at others that they “made” you go without. These incel weirdos need to find a hobby that doesn’t involve wanking to the Protocols.

      • wait! what?

        I googled sexy protocols and came up with this awesome nerd-driven article:

        http://ctarda.com/2017/05/fun-with-protocols/

        That way, Cesar can send emails while Jodelle can send emails, or a hipster can send a Messenger Pigeon.

      • Anna Elizabeth

        Yes. :)

    • Skwerl the Nazi Puncher

      They are ignoring me. Why don’t they model swimsuits in my basement. I keep asking them to.

    • Mike Rhodes

      I tried being my Best Self. It was a lot of work and didn’t actually get me anywhere I wanted to be.

      I’ve reverted to being my Second-best Self. I’m still not getting where I want to be but it isn’t nearly as tiring.

      • Anna Elizabeth

        Humor usually is a good thing too, you, know. :)

  • anon_the_great

    “Political correctness” is a bullshit term used to disparage something important: thoughtfulness and honest discussion. Complaining about political correctness just means you’re admitting that you have zero interest in listening to the other side.
    -PZ Myers

    • Shanzgood

      I think wasn’t always a bad term, though, was it?

      • OrG

        I thought it originally meant if you said stupid shit it would cost you votes.

      • anon_the_great

        Nah, slinging PC about always been the way reactionaries, regardless if ideology, try to shut people up.

      • Skwerl the Nazi Puncher

        It wasn’t. It just meant not insulting others.

      • CO

        Neither was identity politics. It’s taken on a different meaning now.

      • SayItWithWookies

        I first heard it in the late 1980s when it was sort of a hippie consumer catchall — for products/retailers/companies that were cruelty-free, serious about sourcing, fair and respectful to their workers and attempted to be environmentally friendly. its ubiquity as a term of disparagement, though, far exceeded that of the original meaning — I think because it was such an easy term to make fun of — that it soon applied to everything.

        • Shanzgood

          So kind of like feminism/feminazi?

          • SayItWithWookies

            Yeah — and liberal, which Mike Dukakis ran from when Dubya’s daddy called him that.

      • agorabum

        Well, at one point it referred to following the communist line set forth by the politiburo and of adhering to the Party Orthodoxy. And if your positions were not correct – gulag.

        • Maggielle

          But first: marathon criticism sessions, then re-education camps, then gulags. But in America in the 60s and early 70s, it was mostly the first, aka trashing. Then shunning, Then back to school/Moonies/Jesus Freaks, or in some cases, a slow, painful growing the fuck up. That’s what I hear, anyway.

        • Shanzgood

          Um, i was referring more to how we see it in the US.

    • DainBramage

      They want to be assholes with no consequences.

      • anon_the_great

        Ayup

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Which pretty much sums up why it was coined by leftists in the first place; to mock Leninist assholes.

    • (((fka_donnie_d))), SOB

      Not to mention the fact that they demand you call racist assholes and religious fanatics “History buffs” and “Pro Life”

    • Alexander Stallwitz

      Poltical Correctness is like Culture Maxism as its a bullshit argument that people who want to sound smart pull out because they think it makes them sound smart

    • chimichanga

      Every side is politically correct among their cohorts. The confederate flag is PC among RWers as is anti-science, guns and Jeezus.

  • Shibusa
  • Daniel Hooper

    Hmm; somehow I don’t think I’ll be seeing anything like this when I’m at NY Comic Con, like, ever. Seriously; just because alt-right idiots get triggered by changes to characters in one out of several continuities that character is in doesn’t mean it works in reverse.

  • Ricky Gay

    A vox upon me for a clumsy lout!

  • DainBramage

    I’ve got a feeling that these guys wouldn’t appreciate Buffy comics.
    http://howtolovecomics.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/Buffy-8-1.jpg

  • jesterpunk

    http://abcnews.go.com/US/wireStory/amid-outcry-confederate-markers-50198105

    “The problem was with some of the other statues that were put up, that were basically intended to intimidate people,” said Danny Francis, commander of a Sons of Confederate Veterans unit in South Carolina. “We’re not trying to oppress anyone – we’re just historians. We welcome everybody.”

    Francis’ group dedicated a granite memorial Saturday on private land where Civil War enthusiasts from North and South re-enact the Battle of Aiken each year. The marker says: “Dedicated to the immortal spirit of the Confederate Cause, and to those men and women who gave so much to save what they considered so dear.”

    So you’re not trying to intimidate people but you’re putting up statues dedicated to slavery?

    https://media.tenor.com/images/7a940ba7f131f51a0b80dabc0fdb2774/tenor.gif

    • ariel_gee_398

      “Look, we could have put up a statue of a black man being lynched, but we didn’t. Why won’t you liberals meet us half way?”

    • Panika MCD

      dear Shitferbrains,

      you are not a historian if you’re still fighting for a lost cause.

      • Anna Elizabeth

        This. I know gamers that specialize in the CSA forces. None of them are racists, none of them apologize for slavery, none of them fault me for refusing to collect CSA miniatures.

        These men are historians and wargamers, not assholes.

    • Anna Elizabeth

      Did You Know that the States of the Confederate States of America did *not* have the right to Secede from it, nor the right to outlaw or otherwise ban chattel slavery?

      State’s Rights indeed.

      • bubbuhh

        An Inconvenient History.

        • Anna Elizabeth

          I find the American Civil War endlessly fascinating, and I’m still beginning at it’s study, but one does not have to drill down far to learn that the apologia of the Confederates is Bullshit.

      • notaten

        I learn so much from you. I really appreciate you.

        • Anna Elizabeth

          Thank you sincerely. :)

    • Villago Delenda Est

      “The Confederate Cause” = human chattel slavery.

      What a wonderful thing to celebrate!

      • Maggielle

        And they just wanted it from sea to shining sea. Was that so much to ask for?

  • Anna Elizabeth
  • Daniel

    Vox Day wears t-shirts with his own face on them.

    That tells you a lot about Vox Day.

  • Skwerl the Nazi Puncher

    So if they are cleaning up the streets one illegal at a time, how do they know who’s illegal…

    Unless, they have brown skin vision!

  • Mr. Blobfish

    Oh, brother. I quake in fear. Good thing I have my trusty Swiss Army Knife handy. I know a lot of nerdy nerds hang out here, but what the hell is the attraction between grown-ass men and comic books?

    • Daniel

      The alt-right is driven in a fairly powerful way by an utter unwillingness to mature past puberty.

      These are people who claim to want to protect “white culture” and feel remaking Ghostbusters with women is a threat to that, people for whom that culture’s great names- Michaelangelo, Donatello, Raphael, Leonardo- are heroes in a half shell and nothing more. These are anime obsessed defenders of “European” made toy commercials and they will squeal and shriek at any suggestion someone might hurt their precious childhoods.

      • Three Finger Salute

        Were there ever any girl turtles? I vaguely remember the show from the ’80s and don’t recall if there was anyone female in that show besides the weird inter-species sorta polyamorous pursuit of April O’Dell.

        I always kind of wished Mario and Luigi had a tough Brooklyn Italian sister. Or that Peach could actually fight.

        Also, what is this that the Turtles live in the sewers of New York, yet neither of the brothers ever encountered them in a crossover episode? You’d think it’d be only logical that Shredder join forces with Bowser!

  • CO

    These stories are going be never ending
    https://twitter.com/thedailybeast/status/914218383729717250

    • foiled again

      I’m about ready to take a knee to some alt-groin, I’ll tell ya what.

      • CO

        If they keep looking at the archives, there’s going to be a bigger rabbit hole out there.

    • Shanzgood

      WHY, though?

      • CO

        Russian pumped a lot more money than we were told. As it continues to unfold, journalists keep finding more accounts. And those accounts are going to link to more events and possibly other profiles.

        • Three Finger Salute

          Delete all the G.R.I.F.T. companies with Guttman-algorithm fire.

        • Shanzgood

          But why “Blacktivist” oriented postings?

          • CO

            Black people getting together and supporting each other is scary to the far right. It’s red meat to Trump’s base.

          • Shanzgood

            I wondered about that but…it’s like they’ve got people translating the worst of our psyche for them and teaching them how to manipulate it.

            Oh, wait..,

          • SprinklemagicResistancebuns

            Ginning up the base.

      • Because they’re identifying likely non-Trump voters to influence ie brainwash later down the road at a time of their choosing. They’re building “cred” and a “target” list

    • Mr. Blobfish

      I’m not Russian, and I approve this message.

  • Panika MCD

    “dear Wonkies,

    I think I tiggered or whatever. tell Meeka to get me more tater tots.

    spanx,
    Calliope Jane”

    • Anna Elizabeth

      Meeka, you know your duty.

      • Panika MCD

        “Meeka, she said ‘doodie’…do it!” ~ CJ

        • Anna Elizabeth

          xD

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    There is even a trailer for it

    OK, for those of you who were also gluttons for punishment and watched, was that clip:

    1. Alt-boring?

    2. Alt-lame?

    3. Alt-moronic?

    …aw, fuck it, I’m going with alt-AOTK.

    • Bub, the cynical zombie

      It nearly made me alt-shit.

    • foiled again

      Made me ready for alt-vodka and cigarettes. It’s alt-Happy Hour here.

    • Panika MCD

      this is the most groundbreaking comic book ever. ALTERNATIVE FACT.

      • foiled again

        In that you want to dig a hole and bury it!

        • Panika MCD

          these comix are indestructible. ALTERNATIVE FACT.

      • bubbuhh

        Iz ALTERNATIVE lik ALT wif more letters or ALTER NATIVE like X-Men wif mutant dicks?

        • James Baskin

          I doubt that many of these guys have dicks. And those that do don’t have anything for them to do except pee.

    • Daniel

      Alt-shite.

      • natoslug

        No, I think it’s successfully 107% complete shite.

    • SayItWithWookies

      Alt-interesting — as opposed to the real interesting. It answered everything except who the good guys and bad guys were, what the basic conflict is, and why the hell they care.

    • Skwerl the Nazi Puncher

      I’m unimpressed and I get impressed by lead car weights.

      • foiled again

        But hey, who doesn’t these days?

    • Robyn Ryan

      Alt- imitation.

  • bubbuhh

    Gotta feelin all these vox dudes are really lookin for is ALT-SEX (party of one in their basement bedroom closets.) As soon as they figure out the chokin thing works, they’ll forget about the comics and try to go on a “Kill Bill” Carradine adventure wifout teh dyin, of course.

    • wait! what?

      Seems like there’d be a lot of ball gags at these parties and that’s not very vox populi…

      • natoslug

        Lots of ball gags, lots of shrunken balls, and few (if any) women. Good times, I’m sure.

        • wait! what?

          It’s sort of sad to see them sing by themselves:

          If you can’t hate on the one you want
          Hate the one you’re with

  • natoslug

    Wow, that looks like it should be at least as successful as, uh, whatever that movie was that was based on an Ayn Rand book that I can’t care enough about to look up! So Alt! Such bullshit! I look forward to Alt*Hero achieving all of the success it deserves. I’m sure it will fare as well as Trump Steaks.

  • OrG

    Do they even know that “alt” is short for alternative?
    Because this seems like the same old shit to me.

    • bubbuhh

      ALT short for we pretendin no one knows we same ole same ole stoopit racist n religious bigots jes like ar great-great-great-granpaps of yore n all their descendants.

    • Mysterious Masked Wrestler

      In their twisted minds, doing the same, stale old shit is alternative and creative (unless they think creativity is gay, not sure) because boring mainstream shit is changing just a little bit and they can’t stomach it.

    • SayItWithWookies

      That’s why I just call them Nazis. I think it was that Nazi Richard Spencer who came up with the term, basically because he was tired of not getting anyone to listen to a Nazi.

  • Skwerl the Nazi Puncher

    Say all this talk of tater tots reminds me I have 2lbs of them in da freezer.

    • data_ninja

      There is a place I go to that servers a burger called the Tot Mess – Burger patty, sloppy joes, and tator tots covered in nacho cheese on a bun. Hot, tasty, messy, and delicious!

      • Anna Elizabeth

        Damn. I’d break my diet for one of those. :)

        • data_ninja

          I save them for special occasions only, like weekends or when I feel like it :)

          • Anna Elizabeth

            xD Smrt plan!

      • Skwerl the Nazi Puncher

        Who told you to stop talking? Please continue to describe in a low voice.

        • data_ninja

          *hushed tone* And I get a side of tater tots with it, dripping with ketchup all over…

      • Swampgas_Man

        Sonic has tater tots covered with chili.

    • OrG

      MMMMMM….. Tater Tots…..

    • MOG253

      Duggar tot casserole for everyone @

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    That is the heart of the SJW, which is not only terrified of failure, but is terrified that someone, somewhere, will be successful doing something of which the SJW does not approve.

    Wait–I thought that wingnuts thought that lefties were too lazy to care about success or failure? Or am I correct to surmise that RWNJs can’t even be consistent in their insults?

    • data_ninja

      I thought he was projecting about how the Right Wingers hate people having sex/drugs/fun of any kind that they disapprove of.

      • Courser_Resistance

        Well yeah, that too.

    • Bub, the cynical zombie

      I can honestly say that I am far from “terrified” that this absurdly lame project will be a success.

    • OrG

      Yes, correct.

  • Carpe Vagenda

    Hey, maybe his daddy can teach an online course about taking out a hit on the judge in your tax evasion case from prison (Vox Sr was naughty).

  • James Baskin

    Right….. ‘the culture war.’ I saw the the original gasbag hisself refered to it yet again yesterday. Whining about how the left has created the ‘kneeling phenomenon’ in order to destroy football… because football is a manly and divine example of the testosteronic arts. And we just hates that to dickens, so we are trying to destroy it with our PC diatribe.

    • Tokays_don’t_blink

      Have an upfist for “testosteronic arts”. That is some bigly wording!

      • Courser_Resistance

        Sorry, but the first thing to come to mind at ‘Testeronic arts’ is men spending much of their time bashing their heads into things. Beer cans, each other, football helmets… Have I missed any?

    • Swampgas_Man

      But uh. . . it’s the PLAYERS that are doing the kneeling, not some weird “leftists”.

  • Mysterious Masked Wrestler

    My are triggered by the ugly-ass computer art, that’s for sure

    • Jack Needs No Permit

      I, too, and triggered by the lack of any basic understanding of the human form.

  • SkinlessGenderlessMan

    “the usual metrics of success…”

    Would this be the same success that this twit and his cohort of sad/rabid puppies had in shifting the preferences of sci-fi readers by gaming the Hugo Awards voting process?

    I’d be ok with labelling him successful if he nails it like that again. If it makes him feel better.

    • SkinlessGenderlessMan

      Related:
      This sad little lizard told me that he was a brontosaurus on his mother’s side. I did not laugh; people who boast of ancestry often have little else to sustain them. Humoring them costs nothing and adds to happiness in a world in which happiness is always in short supply.
      — Lazarus Long, from Robert A. Heinlein’s “Time Enough For Love”

    • Resistance Fighter Callyson

      That line makes me think they are still trying to make unskewedpolls.com happen.

    • foiled again

      C’mon, everyone knows Real Rough Tough Men do not do the Metric System, which is for sissyface Cu-Cu-Cuckolds and stuff.

      • Three Finger Salute

        Cuckcuckcucknadians!

    • Jack Needs No Permit

      I think in this case, the ‘normal metrics of success’ are somewhere south of having a copy hung on his mom’s fridge.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    The launch video for that is very explodey

    Let’s see if this one is any better than that first clip:

    (watches)

    Jesus, I think my college calculus class was more riveting, and I barely passed.

    PS: I don’t even want to know what they teach about male-female relations FFS…

  • Skwerl the Nazi Puncher

    So does that Dixie Dukes chick have hands? And why does she look constantly constipated?

    • MOG253

      Bustier is too tight.

    • Three Finger Salute

      She’s Fucker Gnarlson’s alter ego?

    • bubbuhh

      Chicks wifout hands iz less sceary.

      • Celtic_Gnome

        Chicks without hands can’t give handjobs. Just sayin’.

  • ManchuCandidate

    So basically Iron Man as a Nazi.

    • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

      As I said before, Civil War if Iron Man were even more of a dick and the Punisher was the guy running the anti-Registration forces.

    • QHarp, Mujer malévola

      Iron Cross Man.

    • Daniel

      Blood and Iron Man.

  • MOG253

    All sequens no glitter.

    • Three Finger Salute

      I like it when Stephen Fry is vocal though. He talks sense.

    • cheetojeebus

      Oh yes, I fucking hate vocal fry. Jill Abramson, can you hear me? Stop it. Christ.

      • Shanzgood

        I’ve noticed a lot of guys do it, too, but don’t get complained about nearly as much.

        • cheetojeebus

          Yep. Dep etc.. another speech affectation that drives me nuts is the excessive pregnant pause followed by overly accelerated speech, then pause again. This american life etc…so………….annoying.Ican’tstandit…ok.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
    • wait! what?

      I dunno, let him keep his mouth open. Send him out to play in the rain and let’s see what happens…

  • bubbuhh

    Iz triggered like ALT-EJACULATE?

  • Sheepshagger

    A muscle bound dude in a European Union suit? Only an American dork child could come up with that one.

    • Three Finger Salute

      Usually they hate the E.U. as a “globalist Jew project,” and go on and on about Soros and some obscure half-Asian diplomat named Kalergi. Which is weird that they don’t like Kalergi, in that they’re always the Nazi weebs who think that mixing with “Orientals” (as they use the term, to distinguish from “lesser Asians” like Indians and of course Arab/Muslims) will make them a really superior master race. Proof positive that they have no coherent ideology and this all goes back to them being triggered that Obama is a far superior life form.

      • Anna Elizabeth

        The new Conspiracy shit is to claim that the EU is really Number 2 Nazi Martin Bormann’s idea.

        • Daniel

          But they like Nazis!

        • Sheepshagger

          Is that like saying Columbus is behind the organisation of American states ?

          • Three Finger Salute

            Why even bother. These morons want to continue living in a bubble where the mirror universe is real. Maybe it is, considering the national anthem celebrates a war we lost to Canada as though we won it, even though they’re our communist enemy while Russia is our “ally” now. America itself is an alternate timeline where history never happened. The Republicans created a reality distortion field by gutting education, presenting fake news as a “valid disagreement,” and punishing anyone who didn’t clap loud enough for Comrade Reagan or worship at the altar of Supply-Side Jesus. The country is “governed” by a party convinced that the Civil War is still being relitigated whether the damn Yankees realize it or not.

            Does it really surprise anyone that there’d be some element of what passes for “arts” and “culture” in their bizarro world view that reflects this “reality” that their side has foisted upon everyone else?

          • Anna Elizabeth

            He is? xD Yes, I think so.

        • Three Finger Salute

          Oh gee, my conspiracy database is out-of-date. Must have happened when I turned off Windows Update a few years back.

          • Anna Elizabeth

            xD It’s never been easy to keep up with Moonbats and Wingnuts.

    • Daniel

      He’s punishing the brave French patriots who are alt-right. Because France has never been a leading nation in the EU.

      • Three Finger Salute

        So this is basically a really sucky ripoff of Hetalia: Axis Powers and the fucking Polandball memes. Hopefully they keep ignoring Canada.

  • I didn’t watch the trailer, but why the hell is there an Alt * Hero wearing the EU flag? Fascists hate the EU.

  • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

    Isn’t Trigger the name of the horse that he rode in on? ‘Cause you know what he can do to that horse and himself.

    • Three Finger Salute

      Poor Trigger…

    • Relativicus

      Trigger is the glue that holds the altright together.

      • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

        Hahaha

      • Shanzgood

        OMG brilliant!

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    This will make the pain of my inconsistent team losing to their Ravens tomorrow a little less painful:

    https://twitter.com/EricaLG/status/914130446434349056

    https://twitter.com/wbaltv11/status/913547653719478273

  • Bub, the cynical zombie

    I am less than impressed with this VoxDayumbass guy.

  • Skwerl the Nazi Puncher

    This was in the thrift store this morning. Looks like the package hasn’t been opened, but punched and drop kicked repeatedly.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/e8314a2d2cc93ee160ee899a9409d22496520ba49f53e7fd45c7d68edcaf56db.jpg

    • Skwerl the Nazi Puncher

      nm

    • Panika MCD

      our troll needs one of those.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    This makes me think “I’d start drinking again if I thought it would help:”

    https://twitter.com/keithboykin/status/914127360252895234

  • Daniel

    Also, too- in this universe where Nazis are heroes because the Holocaust never happened, the alt-right hero Based Stick Man, celebrated for punching a woman, has been transformed into a Black Bloc Antifa punching a presumably innocent alt-right woman.

    I am not surprised at this.

  • James Baskin
    • Bub, the cynical zombie

      I’m pretty sure that pic will trigger Kiri.

    • Sheepshagger

      Look at the mane on that bitch. It’s so silky. And is that hoof polish?

      • Canned Covfefe

        You’ve been looking at the ads in Equestrian mag again, haven’t you?

        • Rags

          I’ll be in my stable.

      • James Baskin

        My wife puts some stuff on her horses hooves that makes them shiny.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    OK, so Matt Yglesias has been irritating me more and more, but broken clock, twice a day &etc:

    https://twitter.com/mattyglesias/status/914151051972022273

  • CO
    • Daniel

      Nice Twilight Zone reference.

  • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

    HAHAHAHAHA….he had to write a comic book to reach his audience!

    • natoslug

      Even then, it probably has too many words.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
  • Relativicus

    I cannot wait to see Trump’s Christmas message. I’ll bet the money in my pocket against the money in yours it will be some neener-neener “We can finally say ‘Merry Christmas again!”

    • Courser_Resistance

      I’ve got all of about $3 in my pocket and I’m not taking that bet.

    • Ling Ling

      I had hoped Mueller would spare us the Trumpolini holiday messages.

  • cheetojeebus

    So like Xtian rock? Boring shit and pablum but with a heavy crust of vile racist hate. I like how everything has the same texture-or lack there of, sort of like maybe the guy sucks cat turds as an artist? Just looking at the examples makes me feel dead inside.

    • Three Finger Salute

      More like Krautmetal meets J-Pop, apparently.

  • (((fka_donnie_d))), SOB

    Well, I am most definitely triggered by the fact that some assholes have >$50k to waste on this schmuck.

  • Poly_Ester

    An Alt*Hero is a goat, right?

    • Blackest Noobs

      he that believeth the goat shall never perish, shall never die, believeth in the goat and have everlasting life.

      • therblig

        suffer the little kids unto me.

        • Blackest Noobs

          goat edit: suffer all the little kids unto me goat.

          • therblig

            from 2 Capricorns?

    • Blackest Noobs

      therez an altright alt-guitar_hero?

    • HogeyeGrex

      Goat-fucker.

  • Ling Ling

    Somehow I doubt Voxiversity is a credible source for learning about “maie female” relations. Or basically any relations.

    • natoslug

      My guess is that Voxiversity hasn’t managed to get accreditation yet. It’s like Trump University, only cheaper.

  • Daniel

    I sincerely hope this makes it into the alt gallery alongside Aurini and Owen’s documentaries.

  • natoslug

    My wife says I need to pick my subjects better. I say it tells an interesting story, and asks some big questions. And the colors are pretty. (Ashland, OR, 2014)

    My first big question is: Was the brick involved in his(?) demise, or just happenstance? Okay, maybe no big questions, because I’m pretty much done there.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/d6041bfcc89b381186e511b9a36b802bb540e34888ecc6af2111346a8b76fbd0.jpg

    • Nounverb911

      Was Mike Huckabee in the vicinity?

      • natoslug

        The squirrel’s still on the ground, not in a stew, so that would be a big no.

      • Bub, the cynical zombie

        It doesn’t appear to have been eaten, so I’m guessing no.

      • natoslug

        And if it were a Huckabee spawn, the squirrel would have been hanging from the tree, so no Son of Huckabee either.

    • Ling Ling

      I live near Ashland. What am I looking at? Oh, squirrel. Sorry. I’m a pilot, looked like an aerial shot at first. Duh.

    • therblig

      acorn meth, rival gangs, turf war. some, i assume, are good squirrels.

    • notaten

      Dr. G, Medical Examiner: “Well, I’m looking at a pretty healthy looking squirrel here, I mean his tail is maybe a little skimpy, but that could be caused by a lot of things. The brick makes me wonder if perhaps foul play could be involved, although all those acorns laying around, I would guess that it’s clearly not a robbery. I’m gonna have to see what I find when I do the autopsy.”

  • Biel_ze_Bubba

    A380 headed for LA had a gremlin on the wing. Diverted to Newfoundland, where the passengers outnumber the local population.

    https://static01.nyt.com/images/2017/10/01/us/01xp-plane/01xp-plane-blog427.jpg

    I don’t think they can take off, nor service an A380, so now it gets interesting.

    • Nounverb911
      • Wuulf

        It’s the gremlin from the Kremlin.

    • natoslug

      That’s the sort of thing that fucks with my dream of emigrating to New Zealand in 2-3 years. Unless there’s a nice affordable boat option to get there.

      • Three Finger Salute

        “That’s the sort of thing that fucks with my dream of emigrating to New Zealand in 2-3 years.”

        But do you have enough money to move away? Lucky you 😢

        • natoslug

          I only have enough money if I can get an equivalent job over there. Currently working on fixing a minor educational discrepancy so that I can do that. Somehow their long term shortages list only includes people who didn’t drop out their senior year of college three classes short of graduation . . .

    • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

      Boy, the whole cowling is gone. They’d have to replace the whole engine on site to fly it out.

      • Ling Ling

        That engine is going for tear down inspection, it not fly again.

    • Bub, the cynical zombie

      Fly in parts and a repair crew, get the engine fixed, then get thing down to minimum weight and they’ll be off. At minimum TOW, they could probably get it rotated and airborne in 5 or 6 thousand feet, maybe less.

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        I don’t think anybody’s going to “fix” that engine. They need a new one, and all the gear that goes into removing and installing engines on that monster.
        Or maybe get the weight down to the point where they can take off with three. (I know they practice losing an engine on takeoff, but this would be someting else entirely.) They also need to fly in at least two empty airliners and crews, to get 500+ passengers on their way to LA.

    • HogeyeGrex

      I wonder how much adding a couple of thousand feet to the runway is going to cost.

    • HogeyeGrex

      Goose Bay is Canadian Air Force country. They have an 11,000 foot runway. Picked a pretty good spot to wind up, really.

  • rosenbomb

    Just got home from Target. Heard a guy at the food counter loudly talking about how he hadn’t been there in over a year because of their inclusive bathrooms.

    Cool story, bro. You’re here now buying a large popcorn and a soda. Nice boycott.

    • Shanzgood

      Did you tell him he should just make sure to pee at home before he left?

      • rosenbomb

        I wish I had said something but all I wanted to do was yell at him to shut the fuck up. Which I figured was not productive for anyone (though perhaps cathartic for me…)

    • Anna Elizabeth

      I spend lots of my moneys at Target. :) Inclusivity, the staff like me, and they have great clothes and shoes. Good price on milk as well.

      • rosenbomb

        I just snagged a pair of flats on clearance for $5!!

        • Anna Elizabeth

          Sweet! You can’t beat it. Most of my shoes and clothes are “Mossimo” or “Ava Viv”.

      • Shanzgood

        I used to shop at Target a lot when there was a store nearby. They closed it a few years ago when there was a “data breach” that the managers blamed on that very store as they told them it was closing right before Christmas.

        The remaining stores are kind of out of my usual way and the way management treated the employees made me not really feel like making the effort to shop there. Plus, whenever I bought milk there, it would immediately go sour.

        • Swampgas_Man

          It’s out of my way, but I admire the way they raised every working stiff’s salary to $11/hour.

        • Anna Elizabeth

          That sux. I’d guess there is some variation in local management. My Target is about a 3 mile round trip, Walmart 5, the Mall 4.

          I’m having good luck with their milk, I drink milk quickly enough that I haven’t had any get to date this year.

          • Shanzgood

            I would have thought the same about the milk what with having 2 kids guzzling it, but no.

            Oh, well.

            And plus, the only Targets left here are Super Targets and I liked my regular one.

          • Anna Elizabeth

            I have just regular Target. Maybe the lower volume of groceries makes them keep them fresher? Does that make any sense?

          • Shanzgood

            I don’t know. My spoily milk always came from my regular Target, so…

          • Anna Elizabeth

            Hmm. I’m not even all that far geographically from you. Count my blessings I suppose.

      • Saxo the Grammarian

        I just bought a new vacuum cleaner at Target. The Shark Navigator!

        Which could be a name for a super hero.

        • Anna Elizabeth

          LOL! “Never Fear, citizens. Shark Navigator is here to save you! My power is know the perfect location to bite down hard!”

        • Three Finger Salute

          Dotard’s villain name is Shartnado.

      • foiled again
    • therblig

      was that meant to keep the spit out of his food? because i don’t think it works that way.

  • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

    I suppose I should congratulate him for his amazing ability to completely miss the point of comic book heroes.

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      Those clowns have an uncanny ability to completely miss the point by a country light year. About every fucking thing.

      • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

        Some of the best moments involving a hero like Superman aren’t when he’s fighting some Omega-level threat or hurling planetoids like spitwads. It’s moments like this that matter more than punching the bad guys.

  • Sheepshagger

    Blood & Soil yourself?

  • Wuulf
    • Nounverb911

      Huckabee’s too, also.

  • Anna Elizabeth
  • Jack Needs No Permit

    Okay, time for a nerdsplainer here. I am/was a huge comic book geek. I collected everything under the sun back in the day (late seventies to present). I was active during the indie comic boom. Granted, a lot of cool shit came out of the indie circuit. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (fuck the cartoons/movies), Spawn, Wetworks, Evil Ernie, Astro City. You name the offbeat, obscure title and I still have more than two issues of it (Even the very cheesy and equally short-lived Adolescent Radioactive Blackbelt Hamsters. Google it, I swear it’s real). That said, this idea is a fucking trainwreck and here is why.

    Point number the first: The plotline is basically every X-Men spinoff series, from X-Factor to New Mutants to X-Force. The idea that the group with terrifying powers are being discriminated against, with two factions vying for control is far from uncharted territory. In the X-Men universe, Magneto helms the side that believes mutants, or whatever nonsense these idiots are calling them to avoid getting sued, are the next evolutionary stage. Funny side note, Magneto was based largely on Malcolm X. Fun fact fascists don’t understand. On the other side are groups like the Friends of Humanity, Folks like Henry Peter Gyrich, Senator Robert Kelly (Who was being manipulated by a quasi mutant known as Mister Sinister) ad the entire freakin’ government of Genosha. This has been done to death and done much better, imho.

    Point letter B: If the Holocaust never happened, why in the holy hell are antifa even a thing? They just really didn’t think through their alternate timeline very well.

    Point Numero Tres: So, in this universe, vigilante’s just deport people through force and physical violence because “the police won’t do it”? Forget the logical and LEGAL ramifications of this nonsense. we are talking comic book reality, after all. Let’s talk simple logistics. These characters have to all be based within at least reasonable driving distance of a fucking border. That means nobody is in New York, unless they’re deporting Canadians. This does rule out most interesting major cities in which to operate. Then there is the narrative issue of having such a narrow focus on what they constitute a crime. There is just not much room for a story here unless each issue is supposed to read like an episode of Border Wars.

    Pointo Des IV: The art just stinks! You can’t have literally every protagonist dressed in some variation of the fucking American flag. That will make it insanely hard to follow the action and really make the visuals bland as fuck. There’s a reason comic book characters are always dressed in specific color, it’s a short hand for the reader. Purple and green? Villain. Red and Blue? Good guy. The colors are meant to be conflicting. This is just the agreed upon language.

    I admit that I needed spelling salts for this video, only because I fell asleep fourteen seconds in. If they’d stolen any more montages from the opening of every single Marvel Studios film, they’d have to finish the video with an image of Dancing Baby Groot out of contractual obligation So, sure, if they want to throw away a few grant for a comic book that will only strive for resting in the .25 cent bin at the one comic book shop stupid enough to order a subscription, who am I to dissuade them?

    • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

      Jack, from Texas? I went to high school with a comic nerd named Jack from TX.

      • Jack Needs No Permit

        Nah, Jack from ‘Bama. Just changed my pic is all, still the same old Pre-existing condition Jack.

        • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

          Ah. Carry on, though I do miss my nerd buddy.

    • Anna Elizabeth

      Bravo. :)

      I spent much of my teen and YA years reading X-Men. They taught me how to be Queer before I even knew I was. Live Free or Die, find Family of Choice, stand Proud of who I am. Storm and Kitty Pryde are my role models.

      • Jack Needs No Permit

        Sir Ian Mckellan approached the role of Eric Lensherr with the same attitude in mind. We’ve discussed this before, how the X-Men are surrogates for virtually every civil right struggle. It translates perfectly into any time period.

        • Anna Elizabeth

          Yes indeed. Lee & Kirby knew not what they’d created. :)

          • Three Finger Salute

            Kind of like if the Island of Misfit Toys from the “Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer” holiday special grew up to be really badass.

            Now, nobody wants to mess with a Wolvie-in-the-box.

            http://digitalspyuk.cdnds.net/16/21/980×490/landscape-1464175888-hugh-jackman-muscles-claws-in-the-wolverine.jpg

            (“Polite” Canadians can be tough.)

          • Anna Elizabeth

            I always loved how Wolverine would take young Mutants like Kitty and Jubilee under his wing.

            I did the same with my Baby Girl. She a college woman, dating and successful and happy now.

          • Three Finger Salute

            Good for you. Anyone messes with you or her, get those claws ready. Rrrawr.

          • Anna Elizabeth

            Roger that. :)

    • A Groucho Marxist

      “You name the offbeat, obscure title and I still have more than two issues of it”

      Challenge accepted. Let’s start with Those Annoying Post Bros. and/or Savage Henry.

      • Swampgas_Man

        Love me some Matt Howarth. Whatever happened to him?

        • A Groucho Marxist

          I’m not 100% sure, but I was still able to buy a Bulldaggers t-shirt from his Bugtown Mall site last month. It was a link to CafePress, but still.

      • Doug Langley

        Alter-Ego. Hint: his best line was “You’ll never get away with this . . . probably.”

    • Holy shit Radioactive Adolescent Black-Belt Hamsters was a real thing. Wow. Just, wow.

    • Saxo the Grammarian

      I read Mad Magazine when I was a wee lad. Did I miss something?

    • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

      It’s like the read The Authority and decided “These folks aren’t violent enough”.

    • Holly

      We all need a little baby Groot right about now.
      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6dQK8TCTuTY

      • Three Finger Salute

        I’m inclined to believe he and Rocket are also too sekrit Canucks in the MCU, like Wolvie and Deadpool. That Babby Groot is a tough little maple tree, and Rocket has some hard-partying relatives roving all around Toronto.

        https://cdn.liquor.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/05/24142058/BeerRaccoon-720sq.jpg

        Would that Peter/Starlord could be the third, having copied one of Justin’s bootleg Hip mixtapes to go along with the rest of his ’70s rock.

        Aliens would be better welcomed in Canada than in the state of Misery anyway.

        • Holly

          Raccoons ARE aliens. They have intelligence that isn’t of this world and Rocket isn’t completely fictional.
          I’m a product of the 70’s and Justin’s mixtapes are fuckin’ awesome.

  • The Librarian

    Not only was I not triggered, I lmfao. Especially when I saw Vox Day himself speak. Why would anyone be afraid of that douche? I would only be incredulous that anyone would think he had anything to state that was compelling. The comic is the same racist shit already portrayed in countless ways. It’s just one long meme.

  • A Groucho Marxist

    Being baffled by stupidity ≠ “triggered”.

  • quantum mechanic

    I’m not getting all this outrage over Single Jewish Women.

    • Dudleydidwrong

      I didn’t know they were such a threat as I’ve always appreciated them. And the married ones, too, although maybe their husbands tamed them. And maybe it’ll snow in Key West tonight.

      (“Oh. SJW…Those SJW…okay…as you were.”)

    • Magyar Has Had It Up To Here

      Have you ever spent an afternoon reading the profiles at JDate?

  • Holly

    Voxiversity is a really, really stupid name.

    • Anna Elizabeth

      Woxiversity. It gets worse if you know the Latin.

  • natoslug

    Is it just me, or is Confederate Flag Girl smuggling grapefruits in her corset? Seems like an odd choice for carrying your citrus.

    • Saved by the buoyancy of citrus.

    • tehbaddr

      Nah, she’s just real juicy!

  • Marla
  • Saxo the Grammarian

    ♫ This is the song that’s written for the alt-right,
    This is the fight – Alt-Hero and Antifa,
    He tried to trigger me with a comic book,
    Dah-dah-dah-dah,
    Dum-dum-dum-dum. ♫

  • SayItWithWookies

    So the masked guy punching a woman is supposed to be one of their protagonists? I can’t wait for issue #2, when a bunch of alt-heroes descends on a crowd of stinky do-gooders who are cleaning up litter in a park and beat them with sticks.

    • Three Finger Salute

      “So the masked guy punching a woman is supposed to be one of their protagonists?” <—– they're doing the whole S&M thing wrong. For those who are into that sort of thing. It's supposed to be "safe, sane and consensual." Not an excuse to get your jollies beating up women.

    • Mehmeisterjr

      There won’t be a second issue because the hero’s obvious steroid abuse will shrink his balls to the size of dried peas and the other characters will point and laugh at him.

  • Biel_ze_Bubba

    “Not only terrified of failure, but is terrified that someone, somewhere, will be successful doing something of which they do not approve.”

    The projection is strong with this one: if he pointed it at the Moon, we could watch it from Earth.

  • Jack Needs No Permit

    These people just really, really, really want to be counter culture so much that it’s sad. They affix the name “Woodstock” to every failed gathering they attempt to hold. They can’t seem to get enough of trying events at Berkley. They worship at the feet of a man with a cringeworthy IMDB profile and another man whose tried floating scripts all over town, scripts so bad that it’s doubtful that even 2017 Nick Cage would agree to appear in one. Without outright stealing other people’s creative works, they’d have no memes. It is as sad as sadness personified.

    • Anna Elizabeth

      Nicely put.

    • foiled again

      No imagination, creativity, belief in much beyond munny and Jayzuz, kindness, empathy…oh, they are defined as much by what they are not as what they are. But they are hollow people.

  • mailman27

    Whatever happened to Mr. Natural and Fat Freddie’s Cat? Now THAT’S comix!!

    • Gone with Cerebus the Aardvark

      • Swampgas_Man

        You made me google to see if Gilbert Shelton’s alive– good news, he’s still truckin’.

      • Doug Langley

        And Wonder Warthog.

    • Shanzgood

      I haven’t really read comic books since R. Crumb and Mad Magazine. I tried the ones that came out with the new BSG and after BtVS finished but I quickly lost interest.

      • Magyar Has Had It Up To Here

        Elfquest was the last one I read.

      • Spurning Beer

        My freshman year in college, the RA for the dorm had curly hair past his shoulders, and expressed disappointment that the dorm residents weren’t more into acid. One night, he happened upon me tripping balls by myself. He brought me to his room and kept showing me R. Crumb comics. “See if you can get into this one!”

        Footnote one: Upon graduating, this guy JOINED THE MARINES, because he wanted to see “if it’s possible to do it without being into it.” I saw him a few years later. He had been a tank commander. He said, no, it wasn’t possible. They make you get into it.

        Second footnote: The most notable resident in that dorm was Linc Chaffee, future senator, presidential candidate and metric system advocate. His father was Nixon’s secretary of the Navy at the time. He seemed like a lonely guy.

        • Shanzgood

          Ok that all sounds like a Crumb cartoon right there.

    • Johnatx

      Quick, name all of the other brothers. Bonus points if you know their nickname.

      • foiled again

        Phineas, Fat Freddie and Freewheelin’ Frank.

  • Carole

    Theodore “the Beav” Beale couldn’t win a Hugo or Nebula with his Christian-elf books, so he’s decided to succeed Jack Chick in the bullshit comic arena. Such a strange, sad little man.

  • therblig

    ok, i was triggered, but by the voxiversity video, when it cuts from dark, brooding, overmuscled heroes, to living pillsbury dough boy vox day. wtf.

  • geoffalnutt

    I couldn’t say. You see – I’m alt-alt. I have been since I was a wee tot. I was not alt-wee…or an alt-tot. Just a wee tot. My parents were definitely the alt-alt sort. It makes all the difference, too. Really.

  • I was so triggered I had to watch the Simpsons steel mill – twice. Everybody dance now….

    • data_ninja

      “We work hard, and we play hard.”

      “Hot stuff comin’ through!”

  • HogeyeGrex
  • Escaped work, had a shower, now heading to my mom’s for pizza and watching the Invictus closing ceremonies. Mostly because we are a Springsteen family until the end of time

    • Johnatx

      What kind of pizza?

      • Gourmet…something with chicken. I usually get the bruschetta and proscuitto pizza when i order from this place and that one is amazeballs

        • Johnatx

          Sounds better than what I’m going to have. My wife and I are going to be making “God I hope it’s still good to eat” casserole

  • Fartknocker

    If you sign up for the alt-right comic books it includes a coupon for a free roll of aluminum foil.

  • OrdinaryJoe

    Damn. We really are going to need those damn FEMA camps when we take back power.

  • Anna Elizabeth
    • Magyar Has Had It Up To Here

      She’s a fantastic redhead. And badass.

      • Anna Elizabeth

        Yes indeed. IMHO, Scarlett Johansson is the hottest woman on the planet.

  • tehbaddr

    Silly Alt people! “Homo Sequens” are what go on your ballroom gown for the drag brunch! Right? Wait, have I got this wrong?

  • IdiotsforPalin
  • Johnatx

    So. Here’s something I don’t understand. Some of the “alt-heroes” smoke. I’ve noticed that a lot of the alt-right fuckheads also smoke. I guess it is supposed to trigger all of us libtards. Wonder if any of them have thought about how their treatment for Stage 4 lung cancer is going to go once the Republicans strip healthcare, lifetime and yearly caps, Medicare and Medicaid from everyone?

    • Raan

      No. None of them have.

    • Huh? Smoking does not cause lung cancer. That is a Chadian myth.

    • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

      Which is funny because guys like Wolverine, Nick Fury, John Constantine and the Thing love a good smoke. One of the funniest moments in the Marvel universe was when Aunt May plucked Wolvie’s cigar right out of his mouth and dropped in in his drink, scolding him about it.

      • Johnatx

        That too. It seems stupid coming from any political persuasion. Though, I don’t recall Wolverine wanting to take your healthcare away. Your head, maybe

        • Three Finger Salute

          no because Wolvie is Canadian, and anyone who tries to take away healthcare is going to see the claws come out.

    • Doug Langley

      Hmmph. Everyone thought nuclear radiation was dangerous too, but look how many heroes that produced.

      • Johnatx

        Don’t forget the giant ants and grasshoppers, also too

        • clairence

          an endless food supply

          • Johnatx

            For us or them?

          • clairence

            yes.

          • Johnatx

            Of course.

        • Bobathonic

          THEM!

          • Johnatx

            It was such an awesome movie. James Whitmore with a tommy gun going against ants. The German ant scientist was good, also too.

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      {{{Takes a puff of my Alec Bradley Prensado Maduro (churchill) and blows a smoke ring.}}}

      Uh, yup.

    • foiled again

      One of the last things Pop said to me before he died was “Don’t get old”.
      I patted the pack of smokes in my breast pocket and said, “I got it covered”.

  • Biel_ze_Bubba

    The alt-white community is going the way of the Christian fundie nutters, who’ve also created their own little alt-universe with their own books, comics, radio stations, (terrible) rock music, and (terrrible) movies.
    They’d be harmless if they didn’t vote.

    • Ling Ling

      Good point. I want their money. Obviously they are easily exploited and who better to fund my retirement?

  • tehbaddr

    And here I thought my dedication to The French Press every morning made me a villain!

  • Villago Delenda Est

    Displaying the Dixie Swastika.

    How charming.

  • Jack Needs No Permit

    Still trying to wrap my head around the premise that the Holocaust never happened. Are they saying that this dystopian world occurred BECAUSE the Holocaust never happened? And what of the antifa references? I’ve covered that in my novella post downthread. What about the so-called ‘alt-right’? Without the white supremacy underpinning, married to the nazi propagandist techniques and symbology, would they even exist? Wouldn’t global fascism prospering due to a lack of any real atrocities to keep it at bay be a greater threat than illegal immigration and fucking demonstrators? Why form an ‘alt-right’ in the UN never formed? Surely the lack of a fucking holocaust would significantly weaken the need for an international body for the goobers to hate. Without the holocaust, wouldn’t the US role in the war be pretty limited to the Pacific theater in retaliation for Pearl Harbor, assuming THAT even happened in this timeline. Then there’s the issue of no defections of Nazi scientists. Without those scientists, we’d have no missile program and, yes, no nukes. The treatment of Jews did give us a lot of rocket scientists. Without that treatment, would we still have gotten them?

    I just gave myself a headache overthinking this thing and the wife just walked in, so I bid you all adieu.

    • Panika MCD

      I don’t get the UN supplanting the League of Nations if the Holocaust never happened nor the development of the bomb…

      • Three Finger Salute

        He basically wiped out Star Trek too. Federation and all that.

  • Kiri the Unicorn
  • Doug Langley

    My apartment had a Bingo party today. They do that every now and then. So I’m Bingo’ing away and winning nothing (small gift certificates to local fast food places, etc). One of the ladies (term used loosely) bragged about winning, was working 9 cards each time, even took cards from our table when she ran out. Bitch. Then came the grand finale. Cover the entire card and win a $50 VISA. “I never win anything” I grumble. She’s calling numbers, my card’s slowly filling up, until “WTF? Only 3 numbers left? Maybe I have a chance!” Then she calls one number and I have two left. Another!! Now all I need is N-42. That’s the only one. She rolls the cage, takes out the ball, clears her throat. “N” she says, “FORTY . . .” I hold my breath, marker poised . . .

    And that’s all she says. “BINGO!” says the guy next to me. N-40 was all he needed.

    So how was everyone’s Saturday?

    • proudgrampa

      I hate Bingo.

      • Doug Langley

        At least the free pizza was good. From Massey’s. Moist and tasty, never dried out.

    • Three Finger Salute

      Don’t feel bad. Donnie lost Bingo even biglier, because he didn’t get G-7 and G-20.

    • foiled again
  • Of course, SJWs have good reason to be terrified of Alt⭐️Hero.
    https://i.imgflip.com/1wtlfb.jpg

    Ho!

  • Panika MCD

    trying to figure out what I should submit to today. need to limit my spending and would really like to get my thesis manuscript out there. help me choose.

    Poetry Award for New Poets / Frontier Poetry / $2000 1st Prize / 5 poem sub. / $20 reading fee
    https://frontier.submittable.com/submit/88526/poetry-award-for-new-poets-2000-awarded-judged-by-tyehimba-jess

    James Hearst Poetry Prize / North American Review / $1000 1st Prize / 5 poem sub. / $20 reading fee (I have submitted to this before)
    https://northamericanreview.org/hearst-prize

    Phillip Levine First Book Prize / Fresno State / book published and $2000 / full manuscript / $25 reading fee
    http://fresnostate.edu/artshum/english/levineprize/guidelines.html

    Walt Whitman Award / American Poetry Foundation / book published and $5000 / full manuscript / $35 reading fee (I hate Walt Whitman, but I love Graywolf Press which is publishing the winning manuscript)
    https://www.poets.org/academy-american-poets/walt-whitman-award-guidelines

    Morton Marr Poetry Award / SMU / $1000 / up to 6 poems / $5 per poem reading fee
    https://www.smu.edu/SouthwestReview/Prizes-and-Awards/MarrPoetryPrize

    • tehbaddr

      Well, if you want to get your thesis out there, or the meat of it, Phillip Levine, and Walt.

      • Panika MCD

        I think you’re right. I have my erasure still sitting at several first book contests.

        • tehbaddr

          Though the New Poets thing has decent compensation for 5 pieces.

          • Panika MCD

            you should see the UK ones I’ll be submitting to later this fall.

    • proudgrampa

      I’d go with Walt…

      The prestige, you know.

    • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

      I’d go with the Levine one.

    • Doug Langley

      Would it destroy our friendship forever if I suggested the Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest?

      • Panika MCD

        no, but I don’t have a fiction manuscript to submit to it.

        • Doug Langley

          All you need is one sentence.

          • Panika MCD

            I’m not spending contest moneys outside my genre. but we can still be friends.

    • President in Exile Firefly

      Which one has the highest expected value? Likelihood to win / your cost.

      • Panika MCD

        $35 for Whitman, but it’s not really due until 11/1.

        the UK ones are a bit higher, but they’re not due until later either.

        everything depends on who reads through the slush pile.

  • proudgrampa

    Super Hero? I’ll show you a Super Hero!

    Where’s Green Lantern when you need him?

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/28b95c5bad7dd8fb26524602607cb46580f6c692d16ac9b45872ff13f49fc5f4.jpg

  • clairence

    So right wingers can’t do comedy or comics.

    When did overstaying your visa make you a “villain”? I guess I must have been going by the liberal left definition of evil.

    Also, that ‘suited up’ gal looks pretty manly to me. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. Just sayin’.

    Oh, and if you really want to know about superheroes, this was a fascinating show:
    http://www.pbs.org/show/superheroes-neverending-story/

    • jesterpunk

      What about Milo whatshisname who has overstayed his visa?

  • (((fka_donnie_d))), SOB

    The fuck is the woman’s default pose is with her hands behind her back?

    • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

      The artist can’t draw hands?

    • OutOfOrbit

      hands are hard to draw

      • (((fka_donnie_d))), SOB

        One would have to watch the video to evaluate this.

      • Magyar Has Had It Up To Here

        Feet too

    • TootsStansbury

      It looks like her hands are tied behind her back. That’s why she looks pissed off.

    • Anna Elizabeth

      Perhaps she’s zipping her bustier?

    • data_ninja

      I’m guessing it’s a submissive thing. Fantasies, projections and all of that.

      • Amy!

        I’m guessing it’s to increase the projecting of her chesticle projections, personally. Although it’s true that in art, that’s less necessary.

    • Respect for Dear Leader.

      No wimmin can have bigger hands, not even one that is a comic character.

    • Mysterious Masked Wrestler

      HER HANDS ARE TIED, GET IT?
      Or it’s a BDSM thing

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      That’s simple. These fucktoads get mighty butthurt at the mere hint that a woman is covering up her boobs with her hands.

  • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

    This thread:

    My dad lives on the island. I shared the President's response with him this morning. He wanted me to share one anecdote in response. 1/ https://t.co/6a4srPdQkt— Nelson M. Rosario (@NelsonMRosario) September 30, 2017

    • ariel_gee_398

      That is equal parts infuriating and tragic. This is why we shouldn’t elect garbage people to run the god damned country.

    • Serai 1

      I’m not getting that tweet when I hit that link. It just goes to Twitler’s feed.

      • The “September 30, 2017” is the part to go to.

        • Serai 1

          Oh, okay. Thanks!

      • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

        Hmmm. The thread talks about Rosario’s father’s response to twitler’s tweet. He talks about a hospital that lost power. All the ICU patients died.

  • Mysterious Masked Wrestler

    It just occured to me that this comic looks like it was drawn in a factory full of racist children.

  • jesterpunk
    • Anna Elizabeth

      JFC on a Velociraptor.

      • jesterpunk

        There are so many tweets that apply to Puerto Rico its hard to just pick one.

        • Anna Elizabeth

          This is just such an insane world we live in.

          • Parakeetist
          • jesterpunk

            But Susan Sarandon gets to feel better about herself, so that is something I guess?

          • Anna Elizabeth

            Shit, I’d almost forgotten. I wonder how she sleeps at night?

          • jesterpunk
          • Anna Elizabeth

            LOL!

          • jesterpunk

            She is just as bad as Trump, anyone who criticizes her she gets her followers to attack them. No idea why anyone listens to her about anything.

          • Anna Elizabeth

            I agree completely. She is an execrable excuse for a human being.

          • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

            I read on the innertubes that Susan Sarandon has Fentanyl pumped into her coffin in order to sleep at night.

          • Anna Elizabeth

            xD I just read that myself, on the internet!

    • ariel_gee_398

      Now, imagine how upset you were to be without electricity, then remove food, water, hospitals, medicine, fuel and transportation from the equation.

      • jesterpunk

        But they hurt Twitlers fee fees.

        • ariel_gee_398

          Or his ego, which I think is all he has where the feelings should be.

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      I hereby decree, as a matter of public safety, that all Irony Meters shall be disconnected, dismantled, and all of their pieces melted down into slag and dumped into active volcanoes. That is all.

  • Doug Langley
  • Gee, Your Hair Smells Horrific

    You SJWs are all so smug and superior. I can just hear you–“So this is the man who’s going to lead them to victory in the culture wars? Some bald-headed virgin nerd with all the charisma of an argyle cum sock baking on a baseboard heater?” Well jokes on you, loosers!!! We now can attend Voxiversity! Do you have any centers of higher learning that promote your snowflake PC culture?? (And I mean BESIDES every American institution of higher learning.) Is there a Sandersiversity? NO. A Sarandonstitute? NO. A Kathy Griffin Institute? NO. So get ready to stand for the American flag, tolerate the N word, and accept the fact that I am capable of snagging a girlfriend, or at the very least getting to second base with the checkout girl at the 7-11 who thinks her farts don’t stink when I buy some Funyuns.
    AGAIN: JOKES ON YOU SJW LOOSERS.

    • Anna Elizabeth

      *golf clap* But it’s “Woxiversity”.

    • Ling Ling

      Will my credits from Trump U transfer? How about Beck U? Asking for a friend.

      • Gee, Your Hair Smells Horrific

        Sorry, not even Voxiversity takes Trump U credits.
        : (

    • Magyar Has Had It Up To Here

      I would totally go to a Kathy Griffin Institute

      • Duke

        Me, too!

    • Jesse
    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      Argyle Cum Sock is the name of my new Industrial Dystopian Poetry Troupe.

  • TootsStansbury

    That is some piss poor artwork there; only makes sense, Hitler was a mediocre artist too.

  • Changeling
    • Sheepshagger

      ” let me run my protractor over your cucumbers mon ami”.

    • I don’t want to hear what’s on his ipod

    • Shanzgood

      He looks like a Jiffy Lube tech.

    • Just pencil in trash somewhere.

      • Changeling

        I would read that.

    • Doug Langley

      Do I want to know what his superpower is?

      • TootsStansbury

        Speed drinking coffee out of those little cups, uncanny train schedule knowledge and lightning dance moves.

        • Doug Langley

          That’s not human.

      • Changeling

        Being boring probably.

      • President in Exile Firefly

        Regulating bureaucratically.

      • President in Exile Firefly

        Understanding Sartre and Foucault.

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      That looks like the guy I hired to fix my termite and scorpion problem.

    • President in Exile Firefly
  • Mr. Blobfish

    Maybe if you took a shower and didn’t act like a jerk woman would talk to you and may actually give you some of that sweet, sweet liberal nookie you so wish you could get.

  • A SJW destroys a Banjo players Nazi Treason symbol in a slightly terrifying way to this snowflake, who ended up getting $20 for that disgusting piece of crap.
    http://www.newstimes.com/local/article/Bethel-coffee-house-caught-in-Confederate-flag-12241459.php

  • Robbertjan Brandenburg

    Home and really drunk.Thehee.

  • altleftjohn

    Where’s Captain Nice when you need him?

    https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Jf8ROVZw_tY

  • Anna Elizabeth

    I just saw this on a Twitter that someone linked:

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/67e5dd55a72eb5b22d86555a159c99c5da7cf67c0cc033b6712e48f9f709790e.jpg

    Yes. My ‘rents would say similar when I would push back against their abuse. Now we all have an Abusive “Daddy” in the White House. Yays.

    • Right on.

      Respect is not free, it must be earned.

    • Three Finger Salute

      My father looked like Trump in the ’80s, looks like Bannon now, and behaves like both.

      • Anna Elizabeth

        Ick. I’m sorry.

        • Three Finger Salute

          I still live here too, unfortunately. Kind of a “virtual” recluse. The Japanese call this hikikomori, those withdrawn from society because they know they can’t cut it in the fast-paced “real world.” The only caveat being that I’m either in the frying pan or the fire. Ideally I’d live alone. Or just with my mother and brother. But none of us has enough money to afford rent on our own, thanks to the “free market” letting rates go sky-high.

          I’m just biding my time until the ‘rents (play on words) breathe their last. My father the dotard dead and buried, and my mother in a better place. My brother, hopefully, will be the one who goes off on his own. I wouldn’t want to be the albatross around his neck.

          • Anna Elizabeth

            ~hugs~ I wasn’t ever free until last year. I finally got my Mom to move in with my older sister after being her caretaker for over 10 years.

            It hasn’t been easy at times, but it’s so wonderful to be safe in my own home.

          • Three Finger Salute

            Thanks Anna. One of the reasons I like this place so much. It’s not only a snark den and recipe blog, but a support group in its own way. Cons would just tell struggling people to go pull themselves up by the… beltstraps.

          • Anna Elizabeth

            ~hugs~ Always. :)

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      Another child of narcissistic parents here. Another trigger word is “ungrateful”.

      AAAAAArrrrgghhhhh!!! YOU ARE DAMNED RIGHT I’M UNGRATEFUL! EAT MY FARTS SUCKTOADS!!!

      Sorry, but you get the idea, I hope.

      • Anna Elizabeth

        ~hugs~ Indeed.

  • Doug Langley
    • Anna Elizabeth

      Brilliant. :D

      • Doug Langley

        I was so sad when she ended the series.

        • Anna Elizabeth

          I’ll have to look back through it. :)

  • memzilla Ω
  • data_ninja

    Has anyone read the comic “Liberality for All“? I remember hearing about it a while back, and chuckling my ass off at it’s stupidity. But I mean, if someone was interested in the world of a cybernetic enhanced Sean Hannity as a hero, I’m curious to know what you’re thoughts are on this. From a scientific perspective, at least.

    • cybernetic enhanced Sean Hannity as a hero

      Bizarro Hannity would be an awesome human.

      • ahughes798

        He’s already Bizzaro, and he’s not human.

    • mancityRed6

      “Eight issues were planned; it was canceled after three.”
      http://blog.memes.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/01/saywhat2.png

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      Cybernetically enhanced Seah Hannity → Polished Turd Featuring Blinkenlights.

      QEfuckin’D

  • willi0000000

    “Homo Sequins” . . . ? . . . you gotta be kidding . . . right?

  • Raan

    So. My friend’s brothers were supposed to come and pick up her dogs after she passed, but neither of them ever showed. And when her roommate took her things to her responsible brother, he and his wife weren’t even there.

    Now Keith (the roommate) has to go up to Ohio for a couple of months to deal with his own family business, so we offered to take the dogs.

    So now we’ve got two more adorable tiny doggos.

    • HellhathnofuryDemme

      What a great thing to do!
      You saved their lives.

  • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

    Me triggered? Fuck no.

    Not unless you call rolling your eyes so hard that you can examine the underside of your brain could be called “triggered.”

    Anyway, my brain looked okay, so there’s that.

    These alt-shitheads are a bunch of irredeemably stupid motherfuckers.

    • gallbladder

      “…irredeemably stupid motherfuckers.”

      I’m copping that…and there’s not a goddamned thing you can do about it.

      • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

        That’s fine. I printed out a shitload of them this morning.

    • Wild Cat

      At least the Futurists could draw.

      • foiled again

        I’m Fortunato Depero, and I approve of this comment.

    • Panika MCD
    • Lord Jim

      Are these motherfuckers full of themselves, or am I just asking rhetorical questions?!

      • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

        yes

  • Wild Cat

    Vox Who?

    • Jamoche

      Holder of the “Most Things Voted Under ‘No Award’ at the Hugos” Award.

  • TootsStansbury

    Watch out Nazis! Johnny Fartpants is commin ta gitcha (I wish I could figure out how to post an image from this thing).

    • Wild Cat

      I tried once. It’s so copyrighted and guarded it’s safer than the US under the pseudo-president.

  • Lizzietish81

    OT: I got an email from my bank saying they want to talk to me. I’m guessing it’s about my rent which I tried to pay yesterday, they said it wouldn’t go through till the fourth. It was a clusterfuck last month and I didn’t get it paid till like the fourteenth.

    Or it’s about the card they said they’d sent awhile ago and I haven’t gotten yet.

    I’m very tired.

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      blerg

    • Me not sure

      I had the same thing happen when a debit card they claimed to have sent never showed up. They treated me as if it was my fault.

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      Maybe they just want to talk to you so they can tell you what a terrific customer you are, and how they all think you’re the cutest thing ever. It could happen.

  • Anna Rompage
    • gallbladder

      BAM!

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      Gahhh…I have been trying to articulate this thought all month. I moved on that thought like a bitch, but I just couldn’t get there. This person got there.

      • Up In Smoke O’hontas

        You should have taken that thought furniture shopping.

        • Vagenda and Pee-ara

          …and then strangled it in a bathtub, like it was a common government, or something.

  • Anna Elizabeth

    I just got an eMail from a model kit retailer. but

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/7296000e8094714787b3d6211c88d5a26a1204a797dcd52ed31e84cd2bc1b21c.jpg

    “You. See if room to park tank by tree.”

    “Da, Comrade. By the way, why did you not get *Big* Tank Crew Hat?”

    • Me not sure

      “What has gotten into Taliban? They seemed so friendly at bathhouse last night.”

  • Vagenda and Pee-ara

    I have to agree with this dude, the problem with America is that there just aren’t enough angry, white, male voices, and NO place for right wing assholes to get their propaganda news. UNFAIR that mean liberals won’t let them talk about women’s tits anymore, and why are those sluts wearing yoga pants, anyways?

    • Panika MCD

      since when have we said that people can’t talk about boobies?

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        It’s POLITICALLY INCORRECT to talk about women’s bodies. Also, women get CRAZY bitchy if you play grabass with them these days. They all go on and on about “consent.” Consent? What does that even mean? If you’re wearing yoga pants, you should EXPECT to get your ass grabbed.

        • Panika MCD

          I have no problem talking about bodies. I do have a problem with people thinking that means they can put their hands on my body.

        • Panika MCD

          also too: if they want to talk to me about my body, I’m eventually going to start talking about menstruation.

          • marxalot

            It’s only fair.

          • Shanzgood

            The construction dudes I used to work with would happily talk alll day about when their kids were born )which I thought was cool) and abou when they got their vasectomies (they were all DO EEET!) but we few women could quickly clear the room by talking about periods.

          • Maggielle

            Do men who have sisters have an easier time with the whole idea when they grow up?

          • Shanzgood

            Not the ones I worked with.

          • Three Finger Salute

            OK, I don’t even want to hear that. Good strategy to get the point across to everyone that certain body parts or their functions aren’t polite public conversation. Unless you’re going “ow” because you just stubbed your toe, other physical attributes are just… yeah, you wouldn’t talk about diarrhea in public either…

          • Panika MCD

            and if I’m going “ow” because of back cramps? you guys are going to have to get over your “ew, gross! you can’t talk about periods!”

      • Three Finger Salute

        I think Vagenda is referring to the feminist criticism of oversexualizing and objectifying certain body parts of women, at the expense of everything else. Like their minds and personalities. Women as people instead of just boobs. Which is a perfectly valid criticism. Dotard made his career literally quantifying women as being worthless if they weren’t a “ten.” He publicly humiliated one of his employees by making her go to grueling gym sessions and starve herself for his entertainment, because she had put on some weight and was no longer “fit” for his “scale.”

        Trudeau, meanwhile, told an interviewer that he either hid or threw away fashion magazines at his house because he saw Ella sitting on the couch with one of them one day, and giving the women in the pages “numbers” on that metric. Something she must have picked up at school, which is why he says this is a cultural epidemic that children learn from day 1 and which needs to stop whether people (men especially) think there’s anything “wrong” with it or not. It’s that quantification culture led to Sophie developing an eating disorder in high school.

        That’s what the Dotards of the world think is unfair, that they don’t get to talk about boobies in that way. Because they want to be the ones who get to categorically dehumanize women as little more than the sum of their, well, parts — and not face any flak over it.

        • Shanzgood

          What I also don’t like is when people come along and say “but men get objectified, too!”

          Yeah, they do, but generally not to the exclusion of all the rest of their accomplishments. Even if they don’t actually HAVE any.

          • Three Finger Salute

            Or the trope (looking at you, Chris Rock) that “it’s not sexual harassment if the guy is handsome.” No, it’s sexual harassment regardless of whether it’s lecherous, septuagenarian, fatass rotten citrus Trump talking about a woman “bleeding out of her wherever,” or unrealistically laboratory-perfect 45-is-the-new-25 Trudeau calling a female cabinet member “un cinq ou six.

            The difference in this scenario is that Trudeau is a genuinely good person, who is obviously so disgusted by that sort of thing that he doesn’t even want his daughter (who couldn’t have been more than cinq ou six years old at the time) reading fashion magazines because of the culture they promote. Trump is, well… Trump. A man who calls his own daughter “a hot piece of ass” on the Howard Stern radio show. Yuck.

          • Shanzgood

            Yeah, on the Chris Rock thing. I’ve been harassed by “handsome” guys as well. It all sucks. And feeds into his same bullshit claim that “men are only as faithful as their options”. No, sorry, Chris. Not all men will stick their dicks into anything that doesn’t get away fast enough.

            Kind of too bad because I thought he was spot on about gun deaths being mitigated by the existence of $5000 bullets.

      • Jamoche
      • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

        They even did a YAY tits, here which I was hoping would catch on,

  • Shanzgood
    • Panika MCD

      I thought about doing “David Sedaris approved.” on the underside of one of my boobs. knowing me and tattoos, it’ll never happen.

      • Shanzgood

        I just can’t imagine getting a tattoo. I thought hard about it back in the 90s when I lived in Seattle and everyone I knew was getting one and realized it just wasn’t for me.

        Now I’m glad I didn’t because I’d probably think whatever it said was stupid and shallow or pretentious.

        • Panika MCD

          I had a rule that the tattoo idea had to still sound good after 5 years. all three of mine do. however, every time I have tattoo money, I go to the book store and spend it on books.

          • Anna Elizabeth

            I want to save up to get some ink, but on my thigh. No luck saving yet.

          • Shanzgood

            Food is more important!

          • Anna Elizabeth

            exactly! It’ll happen, eventually. There is a Tattoo artist, well-recommended and reviewed here, and he has a payment plan.

          • Shanzgood

            I had a friend back in my Seattle days who used to spend her occasional extra 50 bucks on embellishing the tattoos on her not-inconsiderable shoulders/biceps, adding more detail and more color each time. One side was a lotus flower and the other was an octopus. That’s the only thing that ever tempted me to go for it. They were gorgeous.

          • Panika MCD

            of course. but that’s not in the “makes Panika happy” budget. it’s in the “keeps Panika alive” budget.

          • ahughes798

            Hey, how have you been? Sorry if I missed anything…it’s hard to keep up with y’all.

          • Anna Elizabeth

            Hi, I’m pretty good, thank you. Keepin’ on keepin’ on, mostly.

            How are you doing?

          • marxalot

            I have to be super specific about tattoo money. It must be in cash and hidden from my grabby, book and record buying hands.
            This one I just picked up in NYC is healing nicely (it itches like crazy send help)!

          • Panika MCD
          • SisterArtemis

            Lotion. Lotion often but very very lightly. Use a really non-greasy one (Curel and Lubriderm are my faves), and use about a grain of rice worth for an area about the size of a large palm of hand. Do it every hour or so.

          • marxalot

            Oh, I know :) Healed my sleeve up a year ago the same way, I’ve got a big bottle of Lubriderm Sensitive and the humidifier going. The system shock coming back from humid Brooklyn to arid Vegas accelerated the peeling at the beginning of the week, but it’s aaaaaalmost done now. Feels a little tight but I think the peeling’s done and I can just add it to my daily routine after next week.

          • foiled again

            Anything containing Benadryl seems to help.
            Kinda glad my tattoo-accumulating days are gone.

          • HooverVilles

            You made a better choice, IMHO.

        • Three Finger Salute

          Also too, higher risk of lymphoma

          https://globalnews.ca/news/3746925/tattoo-ink-safety-lymph-nodes/

          Donut get me started on the eyeball tattoos story. Donut google if you donut like really gross things. That is a rilly stupid trend and also too worthy of a trigger warning.

          • ahughes798

            Kind of a small sample size, but very interesting.

        • SisterArtemis

          Speaking as a tattooist, THANK YOU!!!! I’ve covered up more than my share of pieces that never shoulda been done in the first place. You know, I love my job, but this shit’s not for everyone.

          • foiled again

            I commend you. I would have gone into the field but my dislike of humanity precluded it.

          • SisterArtemis

            You kid, perhaps, but indeed I think some tattooists should not be in a field quite so…er… intimate, in terms of being in someone’s body space. On the other hand, if you really dislike them, there’s some comfort in thinking, “Ha! this hurts!”

          • foiled again

            Ha! It’s true what you say.
            The fellow who did my work does single-needle stuff so it was not so uncomfortable. My nephew sent along a Blake illustration he’s having done, his very first piece. His Mom is ambivalent but I think he traded that for not getting his earlobes gauged.

          • Shanzgood

            I rolled over on a sharp #2 pencil when I was ill with a fever 30 years ago and now have a tiny grey mark on my right hip. That’s enough.

        • SeekingCovfefeBarbie

          I just want to get a couple of nice little minimalist tattoos on my ankle and shoulder.

          • Shanzgood

            I had a friend who tried to get a tiny thumbprint sized tattoo of a ladybug on her upper back and even though she’s given birth multiple times she lost her mind from the pain and made them stop before they could finish with the bow.

            So I’m still…nah, no thanks.

          • SeekingCovfefeBarbie

            I have a high pain threshold.

          • Shanzgood

            So do I, I guess, having birthed my babbies “naturally” (except a shot of Demerol with my 2nd that only made my face go numb). It’s just the idea that scares me.

    • Anna Elizabeth

      Pretty! I’d like to meet the woman with the Lego Superman Tattoo. I’d bet she’s fun in bed. xD

    • Changeling

      Dearth of Side-boob… so I’ve got the band name, but what’s the genre?

      • Shanzgood

        Which artists would engage in the most boob-coverage?

        • ahughes798

          The Mormon Tabernacle Choir. The Mormon Tavernackle Choir would have the least.

        • marxalot

          Alternately Kathleen Hannah and absolutely not Kathleen Hannah.

          • Shanzgood

            I don’t know her.

          • marxalot

            From Bikini Kill, back in The Day.

          • Shanzgood

            Er…(blank stare)

      • SisterArtemis

        punk girls with major attitude

      • ahughes798

        Classical music.

      • Jamoche

        Former “girl band” members who finally get to play the hard rock they’ve always loved.

  • Panika MCD

    so I have this form of my own (though my slash marks are catching on) where I take the parantheticals of one piece an remix them. in the manuscript I’m submitting, I also have a Greek chorus in the second half. currently, the chorus pieces (many of which have remixes) have “title / chorus” where the remixes have “title (remix)”. does this feel inconsistent?

    • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

      No, I don’t think it is.

      • Panika MCD

        so you think it’s okay to have say:

        the unnamed speak brokenly (dismembered larynx)
        chorus

        and then

        dismembered larynx (remix)

        ???

        • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

          Yes. Seems clear to me.

          • Panika MCD

            it’s clear. I’m wondering if it’s consistent.

          • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

            *ponders*

            *looks*

            Consistent, yes.

  • House0fTheBlueLights

    Last year on this day was my last day at my old house. Everything was staged for the movers, and two rent-a-truck loads were already at the new place. A very bittersweet anniversary.

    • mancityRed6

      oh good lord, do I know that feel. in my own way

      • House0fTheBlueLights

        I realized this morning that I’ve never felt “at home” since we left Philadelphia when I was 14.

        • mancityRed6

          I grew up in a rental. there was a time when my parents looked at buying something and took me along. this actually explains a lot about me.
          “home” for me is the time I spend there. my apt now is “home”, the house in Lawrence was “home”, between ’95 and ’08, I don’t think I’ve spent much more than a year at one address.

    • Rebel Scum with permit

      I had to sell my house 5 years ago. It was a really good move for me as I just wasn’t in physical shape or inclination to care for a 100 year old house any more, but I still miss the place. Many happy memories.

      • foiled again

        I sold my 100-year-old house when it was 116 years old.

    • Maggielle

      I am dog-sitting at a house that is close to 100 years old, and it does need selling. It’s way too much room for its sole occupant (well, plus the dog) and its cabinets and closets are stuffed with papers and boxes of unsorted photos, and there are too many little steps and hazards…but the occupant does not want to leave, despite the kids’ urging. I get it. I’d move – I have no sentiments – but this person has over 50 years of memories here, and I understand.

      • House0fTheBlueLights

        Although I had to move because of a divorce, this was something I’d been thinking about. 100 year old house with the world’s most dangerous stairway (I always joked that falling down those stairs is how I’d die), and 9 rooms, with just me living in it. New place is a third the size, one story (plus basement) and universal design features for when I’m old and decrepit.

  • FDRliberal

    John Marshall describes the Scumbag in Chief’s racist tactics perfectly…

    “This may all sound inflamed and dramatic. It is. But look at the language about the Puerto Ricans who “want everything to be done for them” and the first responders and military service members. Look how clearly it matches the Trump’s imagery of black NFL players and protestors dishonoring veterans who sacrificed everything.

    The core and essence of Trumpism is a racist morality play. It plays out again and again, just with a different troupe of actors in each town.”

  • Serai 1
  • Me not sure

    I always thought that an Alt-Hero was a villain.

    • Ling Ling

      And you are correct.

  • marxalot

    This is the fartdongle who was “triggered” by the notion that Persons Other Than White Straight Men could not only write but also be recognized for writing science fiction, isn’t it? Yawn.
    Anyway, Vampire Lesbian BMX Queens from Neptune scripting is going pretty well. I’ve located a few of the weak points, so I can either fix those or make them unimaginably worse. One of my beat cards just says “ORGY.” I think I’m on the right track!

    • Jennifer R

      GO on…

    • Shanzgood

      Can you switch that from lesbian to gay? Also ditch the vampire part because I think we’ve had enough gay vampires.

      • capnkrunch

        On the other hand, there’s a real gap in the literature on lesbian vampires.

        • marxalot

          EXACTLY.

        • BreakingDeadMen

          Bloodsucking joke in here somewhere

        • Shanzgood

          True. But try Chelsea Quinn Yarbro for a few.

          • Maggielle

            Chelsea Quinn Yarbro! I knew I couldn’t be the only one who knew of her (because, duh, you can google her), but I have felt like the only one. Howdy, pal!

          • Shanzgood

            Hiya! My dad switched me on to the St. Germaine Chrinicles ages ago!

      • marxalot

        Nope, my story, vampires turn all the girls and eat all the boys and our heroine wins the big race and everyone has lesbian motorcycle sex. Maybe the next one will be gay surfer body snatchers or something.

        • Shanzgood

          Let me know about the gay surfers!

        • Gayer Than Thou

          If you spin off a series involving college wrestlers, let me know.

      • agorabum

        Your demands exemplify the very oppression of the patriarchy that the nuptunean vampires stand against

        • Shanzgood

          I do t know what that means other than that I should look elsewhere online. Because Re 34?

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      Upfisted for correct usage of “fartdongle.”

    • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

      Your thoughts are intriguing and I wish to subscribe to your newsletter.

    • foiled again

      Need a logo for Vampire Lesbian BMX Queens from Neptune? Can do!

    • President in Exile Firefly

      Please tell me this will be illustrated.

      • marxalot

        It’s a movie script! It will never be made, because it’s just practice, but goodness is it fun!

        • President in Exile Firefly

          Have you considered a graphic novel edition? >ducks<

  • Royal Ugly Globalist Dude

    “Voxiversity” is already raking in the Pell grants, thanks to Betsy DeVos. Probably.

  • Jennifer R
    • Anna Elizabeth

      From Ideal! xD

    • Royal Ugly Globalist Dude

      I kidnapped one of those and baptized it once. Then I got bored and never played with it again.

  • Vagenda and Pee-ara

    So being anti-fascist is a bad thing? Oh, OK. I’m not a huge fan of SJWs and people who need safe spaces either, but dammit, I’ll take them any day of the week over a bunch of entitled asswipes who are terrified of women in yoga pants, and transgender people who need to use the restroom, and women who don’t want to bone them because of their shitty personalities.

    • Jamoche

      Vox thinks everyone who reads books by non-white people is a SJW; he’s not talking about teenagers on Tumblr.

  • FDRliberal

    The “Voxiversity” guy looks like a rejected extra from American History X.

  • Canis Greyhame

    From what I can piece together here, this Vox Day fellow is like the Rob Liefeld of story writing and dialog.

    • natoslug

      I was thinking more along the lines of the Ed Wood of story writing and dialog, but without the talent of Ed.

      • therblig

        Plan Nein from Hitler Space?

    • therblig

      or tommy wiseau, but who are we to judge?

      • Catstro

        Tommy Wiseau libel!

        • FukuiSanYesOta

          “Keep your stupid comments in your pocket” libelz!

          • Catstro

            That is my favorite and most used quote from The Room, even more than “you’re tearing me apart!”

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      It was a dark and stormy night, where bitches wearing yoga pants wouldn’t bone me, and college kids called me a “Nazi” just because I hate Jews and the blacks. OPPRESSION!!!!

  • major_asshole

    Couple things here…

    That weird circle-with-a-chevron emblem looks an awful lot like the logo for Overwatch. Expect a lawsuit from Blizzard.

    Also: Where have I heard this before? The atomic age speeds up a new change in humans, and those humans with powers are feared, hated, and/or hunted by non-superpowered humans. Oh, right–Marvel did it first and better! (It didn’t hurt Marvel that their mutants also serve as a metaphor for LGBTQ people. I’m guessing that isn’t the case in this crap fest of a crowd funded comic.) So expect Marvel Comics to send some legal paperwork soon?

    • Three Finger Salute

      X-Men (X-people, I guess) > KKK-Men

  • Panika MCD
  • Dept. of Space Tacos

    “Think about how twisted one’s psyche has to be to make that connection, and what a crushing fear of failure one would have to have in order to think that way.”

    I don’t fear failure – I know it well! Kidding, I fear failure, but I think every human being does. Oh, i see the difference.

    • Mysterious Masked Wrestler

      “Imagine how ferociously insane a deranged SJW’s warped subhuman psyche must be to even connect success and positivity.”

      • ahughes798

        And there’s the tell…calling other people “subhuman.” So Hitler. So Nazi.

        The only subhumans that exist that are those who are cruel to the elderly or animals, IMO.

  • FukuiSanYesOta

    Voxiversity is a series of educational video lectures by bestselling political philosopher Vox Day.

    Castalia House reaches tens of thousands of people through the medium of books. The ideas first presented in books such as SJWs Always Lie, 4th Generation Warfare Handbook, and The Irrational Atheist
    have penetrated even those institutions most converged by social
    justice, such as academia and the media.. But Castalia’s reach is
    limited to an audience of people who enjoy reading books.

    Video offers the ability to reach millions of people in a very short
    period of time. But the distribution of video is entirely different than
    book-selling, as most people who watch videos expect to do so for free.
    Video production is also more expensive, and the combination of those
    two factors is why it is necessary to crowdfund the production of videos
    containing the same kind of viral information that one so often
    encounters in Castalia’s non-fiction books.

    The videos will be 20-minutes long, and subjects that require more
    detailed analysis will be addressed by multi-video series. The videos
    will also be released as podcasts for those who prefer audio to video.

    Voxiversity will change the way people think.

    Sounds awesome. Can’t wait.

    • natoslug

      You misspelled awful.

      • FukuiSanYesOta

        Dammit! I always do that ..

    • SeekingCovfefeBarbie

      He says tens of millions will watch his videos. Color me skeptical.

  • Headline accompanying this photo: Do you stream movies or play DVDs or Blu-Rays?

    That’s one hell of a weird looking DVD, there.

    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DLAMwUaUMAEz98x.jpg

  • William

    Spent the day with my son installing the parts we scavenged on my fathers old Virago. My granddaughter is the fourth generation to ride on this bike. Sometimes one needs to shut off everything except for Buffalo Springfield and the Band sprinkled with a little Clapton over the garage stereo. I’d almost forgotten what a soothing medicine engine oil can be. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/c7269fee7dc0cb7d93e9005f4bfcbe07e5e9a291e15ba8f21e7f043699069d9e.jpg

  • BreakingDeadMen

    This Vox Day guy is a SJW of sorts, no?

    • natoslug

      He sounds nothing like a Sanguine Jedi Warrior.

      • BreakingDeadMen

        I was thinking Shitty Jerkface Wanker

  • SisterArtemis

    What I found the most interesting was the idea that anything short of an undefined “success”, which as we all know will be redefined and re-redefined as Alt⭐️Hero meets with the usual metrics of success over time, is tantamount to “sad humilation”. Think about how twisted one’s psyche has to be to make that connection, and what a crushing fear of failure one would have to have in order to think that way.

    That is the heart of the SJW, which is not only terrified of failure, but is terrified that someone, somewhere, will be successful doing something of which the SJW does not approve.

    (a) I do not understand what he is asserting here, possibly because I am just to good-hearted a soul to get it, and
    (b) I don’t think I’ve ever experienced a “crushing fear of failure,” possibly part of the reason I don’t get it.
    *sigh*
    I probably don’t want to know, but am willing to be “enlightened.”

    • Anna Elizabeth

      Woxday has a Merit Badge in “Word Salad” with the WTF? Cluster.

      He is a sad loser whom has scored by grifting even sadder losers.

    • Jennifer R

      I’ve made life better for other trans people, so fuck him I am a social justice berserker.

      • Anna Elizabeth

        I’m a Social Justice Lancer, or Cuirassier.

      • SisterArtemis

        I like what you are saying, and would like to subscribe to your newsletter and/or events calendar for your guerilla theatre troupe, the Social Justice Bersekers.

      • Dazza

        Goddamn right.

      • marxalot

        I’m more of a Social Justice Sapper. One day you look up and everything around you is in ruins, undermined, or actively on fire, because I’ve been quietly working away where you don’t notice me.

    • Catstro

      I, like Robyn, am in the throes of a fever, so I wasn’t sure if I didn’t understand it because of the fever, poor reading comprehension skills, or the fact that it makes no fucking sense.

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        It makes no fucking sense. I’m fine, I have good reading comprehension skills, and when I read this nonsense, I thought “what a bunch of fart noises strung together to try to sound like a symphony.” It makes NO sense whatsoever.

    • foiled again

      Translation: “I am good at nothing worthwhile and jealous of those who are”.

    • “No matter how poorly this sells, anything but reports of its unqualified success is Fake News.”

      I think. I’ll admit I don’t speak fluent fucktard. More like pigeon fucktard.

    • Jamoche

      “No matter how successful we are (which of course we will be), ‘They’ will say it doesn’t count.”

      Meanwhile in Realityland, he’ll fail like a massive failbarge and keep finding ways to redefine it as success.

      https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/470d95ce9bb49ffa13ab834b41528d46115cad27416b81e12467edd9caf61547.jpg

  • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

    And thus he ends the broadcast day with a riff on his “greatest hits”.

    https://twitter.com/tonyposnanski/status/914256560301453313

    • therblig

      fuck you, you fucking fucker!

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        Fucking A.

        • natoslug

          Fucking B & C, also too, such as.

    • FukuiSanYesOta

      Oh piss off, you diseased assnozzle.

    • foiled again

      Look, Mom- a talking outhouse!

    • Skeptical_thinker

      Trump sucks syphiltic goat dick.

      It had to be said.

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        Please! Goats aren’t that desperate.

        • Mehmeisterjr

          Nobody said the goats consented. Celebrities can grab goat dick like a bitch.

          • Vagenda and Pee-ara

            “I moved on her like a nanny goat, but I just couldn’t get there. Now she’s got these big fake goat teats…”

      • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

        …when oozing cancerous rancid prolapsed goat anuses are unavailable.

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      I’ve been noticing a bunch of rednecks wearing T-shirts that say “if this flag embarrasses you, I’ll help you pack.” I’m not embarrassed by the flag, I’m embarrassed by people who wear T-shirts with stupid, jingoistic slogans on them.

      • natoslug

        I don’t want their help packing, but if they want to pay relocation costs instead, I’ll consider their offer.

        • Vagenda and Pee-ara

          I was hoping THEY would leave when the Muslim, Kenyan, communist, socialist, dictator, NoBummer was preznit, but, alas, no such luck.

      • Maggielle

        When I was a little kid, a common insult for un-American-ness was “I don’t want to rush ya, but why don’t you go back to Russia”. I really should have bought the t-shirt back then.

        • Vagenda and Pee-ara

          I remember “my country, love it, or leave it,” but I didn’t hear too much of that when Obama was president. All I heard was “take America back (from the democratically elected president who won both the popular vote and the electoral college vote).

    • William
      • foiled again

        Whoa! Check out Cruz’ evident Napoleon complex!

        • William

          nipple pinch. It’s the only way he knows he’s still alive.

        • OrG

          Closer to the heart.

          • marxalot

            The kind of sanctimonious little prick that would say that, too.

          • Three Finger Salute

            Rush libelz.

          • ariel_gee_398

            Well, we know it’s not because he lacks the wrist strength to support his hand. Maybe he had just been on Twitter and was tired, though.

        • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

          Nipplepulleon, FIFY.

        • Anna Elizabeth

          “My nips could cut glass. Why am *I* not POTUS?”

        • Three Finger Salute

          (Ted sings the wrong Canada song.)

          “O Canada, my home and native land!
          Trudeau Tru’ Love, I want to shake your hand!
          With glowing hair and sparkling eyes,
          My Tru’ Heart strong and free,
          With thighs spread wide!
          O Canada, for you I’ll take a knee.”

          (Justin responds.)

          “God, get this creep away from me!
          Hey, Zodiac! You know the R.C.M.P.?
          Well, Zodiac, they stand on guard, you S.O.B.!”

      • SeekingCovfefeBarbie

        As Gen. Silveria said,

        If you can’t treat someone with dignity and respect, then you need to get out. If you can’t treat someone from another gender, whether that’s a man or a woman, with dignity and respect, then you need to get out. If you demean someone in any way, then you need to get out. And if you can’t treat someone from another race, or different color skin, with dignity and respect, then you need to get out.

        Trump needs to get out.

        Period.

      • Canis Greyhame

        Caption: “must hide tiny hands, must hide tiny hands, must hide tiny hands …”

    • ariel_gee_398

      Dumb sportsball players don’t know the only way to show respect for the flag and country is to dance like a toddler doing a pee pee dance during the anthem.

      • Culinary Mercenary

        It’s the only way the attention junkie can get noticed playing for that crap so called football team. :-

    • HellhathnofuryDemme

      Piece.
      Of.
      Shit.

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      Shut the fuck up and die, you scumgobbling, slimesucking, shitspewing shitsausage motherfucking piece of shit rotting, stench-projecting scumbag!

      And you are a poopyhead, also too!

    • CripesAmighty

      Shut. Up.

    • Maggielle

      This is feeling like a nightmare version of “The Caine Mutiny”, the one where the mutiny doesn’t actually happen. It’s strawberries and ball bearings all the way down.

    • Bitter Scribe

      What is it with this guy and his goofy capitalization? Is he consciously going for the crazy-uncle look?

  • Seamus Romney
  • Hemp Dogbane

    “the online university that will help you in your quest to be shitty to women and minorities.”

    Many of the students could test out of that.

    • President in Exile Firefly

      Most of them come in with AP credit anyway.

  • Nockular cavity

    So, like the Comedian and Rorshach, but boringer?

    • Anna Elizabeth

      xD Nice!

  • bookish

    https://www.yahoo.com/news/gop-tax-plan-could-radically-184537107.html

    WASHINGTON ― The tax reform blueprint Republicans unveiled this week would upend U.S. housing policy if it becomes law.

    Even though the plan maintains a special tax break for homeowners called the mortgage interest deduction, other provisions of the framework would basically make it useless for all but the richest homeowners.

    “This proposal will take away any tax benefit for owning homes for the vast majority of people who own homes,” said Gregg Polsky, a tax expert at the University of Georgia.

    • wait! what?
    • OrG

      Sounds like this “tax cut” is gonna jack up MY tax burden.

    • Fartknocker

      Can we request the White House chef to add a nice spice to Dampnut’s breakfast so he can spend the day in misery shitting his pants?

      • TootsStansbury

        Gods no, he’ll have nothing else to do but tweet his toxic nonsense while he’s stuck on the pooper.

    • Jamoche

      If it weren’t for the mortgage interest deduction, a lot of homeowners might never have stopped being renters – it was the only thing that made it possible for me 20 years ago. Which means still making ever-increasing rent payments as you get older. But hell, who needs to retire?

    • Catstro

      In the back of my mind it seems like they threaten this every year? I know they have once in The not too distant past, and it’s so broadly unpopular that it never makes it far, but I freak out every time, because this is our primary deduction. Time to call and yell at your congresscritters.

      • FukuiSanYesOta

        This’ll be wildly unpopular. I expect they put it in knowing they’d have to take it out and then get to say “Look! Bipartisan!”

        Of course, the entire thing is a shitburger.

        • Catstro

          This exactly

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      That should be great! I can’t wait for that and the “people who pay state income taxes won’t get any deductions” to go through too! There’s nothing I love more than paying additional taxes so that the Koch brothers don’t have to.

      • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

        And eliminating the student loan interest deduction. Why should us fancy-pants who got more learnin’ get that?

        • Vagenda and Pee-ara

          I look forward to the day when Betsy DeVos has turned the whole public education system into a subsidiary of Blackwater Defense Logistics, Inc. .

      • Gosala

        how public spirited of you. But we always knew you were a good egg

        • Vagenda and Pee-ara

          I just don’t want to see David and Charles Koch reduced to getting by on $43 billion dollars…EACH! I’m not a monster, for god’s sake.

    • Mehmeisterjr

      We’ll still get the bone spur deduction though, right?

    • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

      A friend of mine sent me a message because the budget bill also eliminates the CBO scores.

  • Kiri the Unicorn
    • Saxo the Grammarian

      Thank you! I know just where to share that.

  • Saxo the Grammarian

    Just got back from the comments section of my local newspaper. The usual suspects are Out! and Proud! for Trump’s attacks on Mayor Cruz. Also, they whine endlessly about what a libberul hell hole Sonoma County is. I wish they’d move to Bakersfield.

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      All the worst places are liberal hell holes – San Francisco, NYC, LA, Austin, etc… That’s why they’re all so expensive, because NOBODY wants to live there.

      • Three Finger Salute

        “Nobody wants to go there anymore. It’s too crowded.”

        RIP Yogi.

    • Catstro

      Everything I know about Bakersfield I learned from Baskets. I assume it is 100% true and not at all exaggerated.
      https://vimeo.com/160552779

  • I just googled when Hamilton opens in Toronto. I still have 2 years to wait. I haz a sad

    • Jamoche

      Look at it this way – by then the rush may have died down enough that you can get tickets. I’m in the SF area and never had a chance.

    • I’m more sad about Miranda’s ideas about the film version. He’s dead wrong. All of the best filmed versions of musicals were made within a few years of the Broadway production. The really wretched ones waited a decade or more to get to the screen.

      • Three Finger Salute

        Something tells me Americans are so ignorant of history that they’ll be surprised by the ending.

        • Mehmeisterjr

          Wait, what? You mean Hamilton didn’t soundly trounce Trump in the General Election?

          • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

            Sadly, no.

    • Spurning Beer

      According to my sources, Hamilton is about 35 miles southeast of Toronto.

  • Seamus Romney
  • Blanche de Shambles

    Homo Sequins?

    I thought they weren’t down with that sort of thing.

  • Kiri the Unicorn
  • Raan
  • Jennifer R
    • Anna Elizabeth

      JFC.

  • Seamus Romney
    • Raan

      “The Mayor of Chernobyl…”

      Also I wouldn’t put it past Trump to not know that Alderaan is a planet.

      • Three Finger Salute

        “I find your lack of incredible chocolate cake disturbing.”

  • CripesAmighty

    Whaddya wanna bet these sad sacks are gonna click over their umpty-twelve dollars for an anticipated ‘voxversity’; a soaring, badass-effects multimedia experience, only to recieve a dumpy dork talking at the camera in his smelly ‘smiley’ tee in his bedroom for umpty-snore hours.
    As Richard Viguerie discovered decades ago, among this crowd, there’s one born every minute.

    • amrak63

      Only one?

      • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

        The egg sac splits open and thousands of these douchebags squirm out.

        • Raan

          Nuke the site from orbit.

        • Three Finger Salute

          You can’t explain that.

    • Occupied Territory of Kavefish

      Nope.

      Power-Point presentations read by a computer voice with bad 80’s porn-Muzak in the background.

  • Seamus Romney
  • Kiri the Unicorn
  • Dept. of Space Tacos

    wow, I’ve never seen Stripes before.

    This MAY be the most quotable movie ever, even more so than holy grail.

    “I am the acorn that becomes the oak!”

    “You can’t go! All the plants will die!”

    • THAT’S A FACT, JACK!

      • Three Finger Salute

        Lighten up, Francis.

    • Anna Elizabeth

      xD ~So we’re all dogfaces, we’re all very, very different, but there is one thing that we all have in common: we were all stupid enough to enlist in the Army. We’re mutants. There’s something wrong with us, something very, very wrong with us. Something seriously wrong with us – we’re soldiers. But we’re American soldiers! We’ve been kicking ass for 200 years! We’re ten and one! ~

    • Dept. of Space Tacos

      “we’re not homosexuals…but we are willing to learn.”

      “yeah, would they send us some place special?”

      • Raan

        God, beaten by seconds.

        • Dept. of Space Tacos

          pure bad luck, i’m at that part in the movie.

    • Raan

      “It’s Czechoslovakia. It’s like going to Wisconsin.”
      “Hey, I got my ass kicked in Wisconsin once.”

    • Spurning Beer

      “There she was, just a-walkin’ down the street….”

    • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

      “Hey, this is a loading zone! You can’t park here!”
      “We’re not parking it, we’re abandoning it.”

      • Dept. of Space Tacos

        “corporal, have this removed.”

        Seriously, i’ts like ever other line.

    • SeeTrain65

      “No, we’re not homosexuals, but we are willing to learn.”
      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xR9HuRUUTbs

      That, or, “Chicks dig me because I rarely wear underwear, and when I do, it’s usually something unusual.”
      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iTwIwfvNJLk

  • Sheepshagger
    • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

      Hmmmm.

    • Lambsendbeds

      WTF did I just read?

      • Bitter Scribe

        AFAICT, it seems to be The Onion for military personnel.

  • BearLeft

    Alt-douchebag.

  • Iam Reading

    Hahahahahahahahahaha, whew.

    Sad

  • Bitter Scribe

    OK, I totally don’t get the poster or whatever it is in the middle. The guy at the center must be the good guy, because good guys have masks with eyeholes, whereas bad guys have masks that cover their noses and mouths but leave the eyes clear. But then the chest of Eyehole Masked Good Guy is covered with the symbol of the…European Union…which would make him…a globalist…which is bad…only he’s fighting the Antifa people…which would make him good…???

    The stereotypes are much clearer in this comic.

  • President in Exile Firefly

    Oh dear god. That’s 1:08 I won’t get back.

  • amrak63

    Poor, poor Jimmy Olsen…

    https://i.imgur.com/skz6IkP.jpg

    • Anna Elizabeth

      xD As if!

      I’ve often wondered: if Superman can put out a Forest fire with his Super-Breath, what happens when he eats Taco Bell?

    • Bitter Scribe

      I’d rather know about that “keeps bra, gloves and hairband on during sex” thing.

      • amrak63

        Partly so the readers could identify her, I suppose–although it does seem that the “S” crop-top would serve that purpose adequately.

      • Jamoche

        Teenagers. If they stopped to get all the clothes off, it would be over before it got started.

    • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

      She-Hulk has similar problems:

      “And if things get too… you know, just use the safe word.”
      “No kidding. I’ve got a few more ‘safe words,’ like ‘Ow!’ and ‘Dear God!’ and ‘Crushed pelvis.'”

    • Royal Ugly Globalist Dude

      She doesn’t seem like Jimmy’s type.

  • Puerto Rico explained:

    https://youtu.be/Tt-mpuR_QHQ

  • gallbladder

    Time for some cool. Cigars, booze, weed, and those cakes that y’all like are now available in the lounge from now until closing.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oxT-SK0loXg

  • Jennifer R

    Hey folks, movies with time travel, not any of the back to the futures, looper, or frequency.

    • Time Bandits

      • Three Finger Salute

        Somewhere in Time. Superman falls in love with Dr. Quinn.

    • ariel_gee_398

      Bill and Ted’s movies of varying quality.

    • Anna Elizabeth

      The Time Machine, Time After Time. Timecop. Star Trek IV. Star Trek First Contact.

    • CripesAmighty

      Time After Time. Excellent adaptation of HG Wells’ Time Machine.

      • SeeTrain65

        Malcolm McDowell and Mary Steenburgen. Ah, memories.

        Another true story: I watched this film on cable one night at a friend’s place with my friend’s sister who was seriously crushing on me. (First, I know! … Someone as repellent as me! I couldn’t believe it either! And second, this wasn’t in high school or anything. We were both over 21, by a fairly comfortable margin.)

        To show how well the night went, I watched the movie off and on between trips to the bathroom trying to calm myself and she tried everything she could to interest me before I said goodnight and ran away in fear.

        I think it had something to do with her being separated from her husband and two kids. (This, also, is completely true.)

        I’m not good with the ladies. And I’m also scum.

        • CripesAmighty

          At least the flick didn’t suck.

        • The Librarian

          Awwwww……..but I don’t buy the ending. :D

          • SeeTrain65

            How sweet of you!

            Now I know I’m scum. ; )

    • OutOfOrbit

      Star Trek The Voyage Home

    • Sister Suffragette

      Groundhog Day, sort of. A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur’s Court.

      • gallbladder

        You know, I always thought “Groundhog Day” was a bit of fun.

        • Catstro

          I think it’s horribly depressing. I really love it, and everything turns out ok in the end, but the middle part of the movie upsets me.

    • gallbladder

      How ’bout “12 Monkeys?”

      • therblig

        La jette – 26 mins and only 1 moving image, but pretty cool

        • foiled again

          Rats- I gotta learn to read downthread more.

    • Three Finger Salute

      Hot Tub Time Machine

    • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

      Hot Tub Time Machine.

      • Three Finger Salute

        GMTA.

        Also too, Great White Buffalo…

    • Liquid Tomato

      Primer

    • CO

      Timecrimes

    • DainBramage

      Midnight in Paris

    • FukuiSanYesOta

      The Final Countdown

    • NastyBossetti

      Safety Not Guaranteed

    • Demolition man. Somewhere in time. Time bandits

    • therblig

      Grand Tour: Disaster in Time aka Timescape with the always dependable Jeff Daniels

      trailer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mAedxDP_Ni4

      full movie: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FkVd7LasXJU

    • Andrew Rheinheimer

      Not a movie, bit the series Time Squad.

    • jesterpunk
    • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

      Star Trek: First Contact
      Men in Black 3
      Timecop

    • Anna Elizabeth

      Time Chasers.

    • therblig

      The Navigator

      Men seeking relief from the Black Death, guided by a boy’s vision, dig a tunnel from 14th century England to 20th century New Zealand.

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aJ3BQGgacUo

      • Occupied Territory of Kavefish

        I’ll second this recommendation – Great Film.

    • Occupied Territory of Kavefish

      Terminator?

      Doesn’t look like anyone’s called this out yet.

    • Occupied Territory of Kavefish

      Also, too: “Peggy Sue Got Married”

    • Everrett Fanuelli

      Army of Darkness

    • foiled again

      Twelve Monkeys. And La Jetee of course.

    • everstar

      Star Trek 4!

      • Jennifer R

        Good movies.

  • Sheepshagger

    Lame King Donald just tweeted and deleted. I’m imagining a running battle for the Samsung around the oval. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/3ad49709f3ba41593745e7c523903b7ae51032c0ea0f0b3d1f52d93911fdff67.png

    • gallbladder

      Drumpf slips on carpet

      • Sheepshagger

        I am intrigued at your stamina.

    • suziq

      WTF? Who cares how many points he went up after the election? Not that I actually believe that.

    • Old town Urbandale

      Everybody knows it’s not the person who gets the most votes that wins the election.

      • Three Finger Salute

        John Madden libelz.

      • Bub, the cynical zombie

        Not always, they don’t…

    • Paperless Tiger

      Loser logic.

    • CripesAmighty

      Whaaaat? Does that even mean?

    • FukuiSanYesOta

      Wait, what?

      Is he mainlining horse tranquilizers again?

      • ariel_gee_398

        Or the cooking sherry.

      • gallbladder

        Those, KFC gravy, and kittens.

      • Sheepshagger

        Getting wet in solidarity with PR.

      • Anna Elizabeth

        “Kelly -giMME MUH Special K!”

        • FukuiSanYesOta

          “You’ve already had a lot Mr President”

          “NOT ENOUGH! I ONLY SEE ONE OF YOU!”

          • Anna Elizabeth

            xD “Ketamine and Coffee! Magic in motion!”

    • gallbladder

      Wow! And here I thought points were important going into and election. I stand corrected!

      • foiled again

        Everything you know is WRONG!

    • Bub, the cynical zombie

      The possibility that this deranged motherfucker could decide to launch a nuclear strike is seeming more likely by the day.

    • ariel_gee_398

      I had a hell of a time figuring out how he tweeted that out back in January before I figured out the month and date were not-Americanized.

      • Three Finger Salute

        Doesn’t matter anyway. The American calendar got adjusted for the Dotardian Era. It’s only 2017 in Canada, where they have that fancy commie metric math and some kind of foreign luxury called “civilization.” Here, the current year is 1933 until morale improves.

      • Carole

        Wait, he’s on the International Date Line? Is that near the edge of the earth near the giant Ice Wall? Can we arrange for him to stay there permanently?

    • jesterpunk

      So after he lost he went up in the polls?

    • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

      Was he thinking “endorsement” and wrote election instead?

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      What in the holy fuck is he going on about, here?

      Jeebus, what an embecilic twat!

      • foiled again

        His Mad Cow Disease is acting up again.

    • Shanzgood

      The fuck? They stopped counting ballots before all the ballots were counted?

  • SeeTrain65

    Alt-Entertainment.

    • Anna Elizabeth

      xD

  • Three Finger Salute

    So if Vox is pronounced Wox, is -versity pronounced -wersity? Woxwersity? Is this guy LARPing as Ewmer Fudd?

  • Two things….
    Alt spork raised 52k eh? So like…a regular 15 minutes for Stan Lee? Lolz
    Also…can no conservative actually art? Is that why they are always trying to cut funding for the arts? Is it a prereq for these bozos to doodle like crap and beg other people to buy it ?I am just askung questions

    • jesterpunk

      They cant art or music or comedy or anything that requires actual thinking.

      • Carole

        Or write. Have you ever tried to read a Theodore Beale “novel?”

        • jesterpunk

          I tried to read Ayn Rand and couldn’t make it through the first 10 pages.

          • OrG

            10 pages? Wow,beats me by 8 1/2.

          • foiled again

            I read Atlas Shrugged. Result? Foiled Puked.

      • Carole

        “Ahenobarbus stared at the faded painting in the guilded frame mounted on the wall in front of him.The flickering candles cast an eerie glow upon the scene: six armed men stood over the body of a seventh man, from whose face Ahenobarbus, or as others reverently called him, His Sanctified Holiness Charity IV, couldn’t take his eyes.”

        Shit, this is some putrid swill.

        • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

          I think I lost IQ points attempting to make sense of it.

          • Carole

            Run away! Those who can write, make money. Those who can’t, hire a ghostwriter and start a for-profit university. You know who else did that?

          • Three Finger Salute

            Hitler?

      • Three Finger Salute
    • Three Finger Salute

      They can’t. Not only are they jealous, but they’re extremely repressed and really don’t like creatives who think outside the box. See also Hitler. Mediocre landscape painter who hired failed playwright Steve Bannon Joseph Goebbels to make shitty propaganda films, because he couldn’t stand that the movies, music and art that the Jews made were better. Leni was his fangirl with a Sony Handicam who made the black-and-white Nazi equivalent of I Gotta Crush On Obama. If it was made today it’d be called Trump of the Will.

  • ich

    I also too saw on the youTubes that Latin “Vee” should be pronounced as “Wuh”.So, hello there Woxday.

    • Serai 1

      So it’s “weenie, weedy, weechy”? Wow, just doesn’t have the same ring to it.

      • Anna Elizabeth

        Indeed.

    • Royal Ugly Globalist Dude

      Like nuclear wessels?

      • Mehmeisterjr

        In this case, nuclear Horst Wessels.

        • Three Finger Salute

          Pop goes the Wessel?

    • That is really weird since the w sound is actually more slavic that iberian…

    • everstar

      “Thwow him to the gwound, centuwion!”

  • Serai 1
    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      “You can peel my penis out of my cold dead hand.”

  • CO
  • guest1331now

    Cheesy X-men (Sense8 etc. etc.) ripoff. I am still moved by some sort of weird compassion to try to point out to such people how ridiculously lame, juvenile, and non-competent (and boring!) they actually are.

    • Carole

      Resist the temptation to feel compassion. That’s how they reel us in. Besides, they have none.

    • Shanzgood

      Hey, I loved Sense8!

  • Carole

    Holy White Genocide, Batman!

  • Raan
  • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

    Just had a wonderful dinner with my cousin. Cobb salad. Yum.

    • gallbladder

      Ty Cobb salad? (sorry, I had to)

      • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

        No, but it had avocado in it. Since when has that been an additive?

        • ahughes798

          Since as long as I can remember.

  • Bub, the cynical zombie
    • jesterpunk

      Tax cuts for the rich and undoing anything Obama ever did.

  • guest1331now

    We love you Robyn.

  • Serai 1
    • Panika MCD

      umm…who is doing what?

  • Mehmeisterjr

    I am shocked out outraged by the grossly disrespectful use of the sacred Battle Flag of the Army of No’th’un V’ginia as a bustier. Where’s my tiki lamp?

    • gallbladder

      Don’t forget the citronella candles to ward off the atheists!

      • Mehmeisterjr

        If they hadn’t blockaded the citronella, we would a’ defeated Sherman. That’s just history.

    • Panika MCD

      they may take my life, but they will never take my cutoffs and boots combo!

  • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

    Monty Hall died. Bummer.

    • Anna Elizabeth

      Aw shit. :( RIP.

      • Three Finger Salute

        I think no matter what door he picks, he’s going to win the prize. 🌄

        • gallbladder

          Hear hear.

        • SeeTrain65

          No Zonks allowed.

    • gallbladder

      NO! And fuck, we can’t even go to C. Kelekis Restaurant in the ‘Peg to have a plate of fries and gravy in his honour.

    • SeeTrain65

      I thought I read he’d died a couple years ago. Quit hoaxing our favorites!

      Seriously, though, I can’t watch Wayne Brady’s Let’s Make A Deal because of him. He was a master. Not many like Monty. RIP.

    • BreakingDeadMen
    • CripesAmighty

      Crap.

    • SeeTrain65

      Damn, how did I forget this!

      “When Monty Hall dies, he’ll go behind door number four.” – George Carlin

    • The Librarian

      Let’s Make a Deal!! Can we swap Monty for Trump’s Cabinet?

    • Shanzgood

      Fuck his three-no-two doors problem, though.

    • Royal Ugly Globalist Dude

      NEVER switch doors. If you picked door #1, then stick with door #1.

    • therblig

      “pick me, i’m dressed like a turnip!”

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NewSO3RzKZg

    • John Norris

      St Peter: “Monty, do you take Pearly Gate #1, or Pearly Gate #2, Or …”

  • Lizzietish81

    Wait a second, there’s already a super hero who appeals to Right Wing sensibilities.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ShTVpGuzk1M&t

    • SeeTrain65

      Dusty Rhodes libel!

      • Lord Jim

        YOU, sir, are a rasslin’ NERD. :D

        • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

          If you were in the south back in the days you were exposed to this.

          • Lord Jim

            I was. And I was. :D

          • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

            My dad loved pugilistic sports. And old Mr American Dream was such a loudmouth, you really couldn’t help but hear him.

      • jesterpunk

        I think they where more a fan of the Million Dollar Man Ted DiBiase.

  • Lord Jim

    Well, lessee…”Vox” is Latin for “voice”, and “day” pronounces similarly to “Dei”, “God”. So this guy thinks he is the voice of God? And I’m supposed to take him seriously?

    https://mcguff1.files.wordpress.com/2014/02/maroon.png

    • CripesAmighty

      Voxderp.

      • Three Finger Salute

        Vux’d Up

    • Three Finger Salute

      Someone might want to… um… speak with him.

      https://i.imgflip.com/1wtrxd.jpg

      • Khavrinen

        Unfortunately, given what I’ve heard of the dude, “speaking” to him is likely to be as effective — and enjoyable — as speaking to Alex Jones. They seem to exhibit similar levels of “coherency” and “calm rational behavior”, namely, none.

    • thought when you spell it day it is latin for loser?

  • Raan
  • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

    Somehow I think superheros killing Nazis without votes is going to continue to sell way better.

  • JoeChristmas

    Nothing shows respect for the flag and the anthem like the confederate flag and whistling dixie.

  • Jennifer R
    • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

      wut?

  • jesterpunk

    This is the same group who complained the new Wolfenstein game was insulting Trump supporters by making Nazis the bad guys.

    https://www.theverge.com/2017/6/12/15780596/wolfenstein-2-the-new-colossus-alt-right-nazi-outrage

    • gallbladder

      (logs onto Steam…)

    • mancityRed6
    • Panika MCD

      he was supposed to make them the good guys?

      • gallbladder

        Well you know, it’s all “optics” with those types.

      • jesterpunk

        That is what they wanted, also ignoring the fact that the entire series is about killing Nazis.

        • Panika MCD

          “Nazism is a religion of peace!”

          http://www.reactiongifs.com/r/hhn.gif

          • LucindathePook

            Peace is what we want and do have
            And a piece of all things you have.

            —- Bored of the Rings

    • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

      I thought one of the points of walking around with Nazi flags was to make themselves look bad? You know, anti-social personality disorder?

      • gallbladder

        Well, “bad” until rejected by wider society, then all bets are off.

    • Shanzgood

      I need to go watch Captain America 2 now. Anna Elizabeth posted the “elevator scene” this morning and now I just need some more.

      If there’s any Black Widow or Agent Carter in it, I’ll be doubly and trebly chuffed.

      • Jamoche

        Prepare to be mega-chuffed :)

      • Anna Elizabeth

        You’re gunna love it Hun. It’s my fave of the MCU.

        • Shanzgood

          I watched Batman v Superman not long ago because I wanted to see WW and GAH. SO MUCH HORRIBLE.

          • Anna Elizabeth

            Agree. The Winter Soldier is the real stuffs tho I promise.

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      I really feel like I am on crazy pills…every goddamned day. When did “Nazis are bad” become debatable?

      • jesterpunk

        November 8th 2016?

        • Panika MCD

          next you’re going to tell me that Putin is our friend!

          http://stream1.gifsoup.com/view6/3611064/wait-you-re-serious-o.gif

          • Vagenda and Pee-ara

            I actually had some idiot tell me it was good that Vlad interfered with our election, because he wanted a “strong America.” LOL, yeah, right. It wasn’t like Vlad wanted a bumbling dolt who would embarrass us in front of the rest of the world, or anything. An egomaniacal buffoon who will give anything to anyone who flatters him is JUST what America needed.

          • Panika MCD

            tell him: I would like a strong America and a strong American leader. That’s why I voted for HRC.

      • Mehmeisterjr

        But are they “bad-bad” or just “bad-when-they-don’t-Make-America-Great-Again which is never?

  • Raan
    • Jennifer R

      Undertale is pretty good.

  • mancityRed6

    so, that middle picture, with the Eiffel Tower? if they’re so against “globalists”, then why does it look like one of their heroes wearing an EU flag?

    • gallbladder

      I had pondered that very same question.

      • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

        I thought that as well, are they too stupid to know this?.

    • Gosala

      Because European therefore white, AfD, Golden Dawn, and Lapenne

      • Three Finger Salute

        Also too, PEGIDA and the EDL.

    • My guess is the crappy artist had no idea it was the EU flag and just thought it looked cool

  • Holly

    Hello all you Gentle Ladies and Fine Gentlemen I am so grateful to you all (Paul, I am really most especially and totally grateful to you my love) AND this second glass of sherry. These past few weeks have been a rough one. Being sick for the past few weeks

    • Lord Jim

      Of all the stuff going on in the world, illness on top of it all is super tough. Are you getting any better?

      • Holly

        Thanks for asking. I really am feeling much better. Sherry is a great healer.

        • Lord Jim

          Teh awesome!

    • Up In Smoke O’hontas

      Staying hydrated is important!

      • Holly

        Sherry is hydrating, right?

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      It’s hard to watch the country go to shit, even when you’re feeling well. Watching it go to hell while you’re sick must really be the pits! Get well soon, my friend.

      • Holly

        Thank you darlin’. Everything is amplified when you feel like shit, and with the Orange Fucker doing whatever the fuck he’s doing to further destroy what’s left of this country…..sigh….I need a refill on my glass.
        Paul and I send our very best, and the cabin door is always open.

        • Vagenda and Pee-ara

          I was watching something by Marc Maron the other night, and he starts off with “I have no idea what he’s going to do next.” It’s like every day is a fresh new shitshow. It’s exhausting. Maybe that’s why you’re not feeling well – you have PTFS (post Trump fatigue syndrome).

          If I ever get any time off of work, I would love to come.

          Stay thirsty!

          • Holly

            And we’d love to have you.

  • PubOption

    Considering the alt-right’s attitude to gays, why did they keep their heroes in the genus homo?

    • ariel_gee_398

      I wonder how many signatures I could get if I set up a change.org petition to change the genus to “hetero” and then posted it on Breitbart.

    • Three Finger Salute

      They’re not homos or geniuses. Maybe closet cases. But not geniuses.

      I don’t even think they’re mono, except in terms of being compared to a disease.

      “Alt-right”?

      https://memegenerator.net/img/instances/250×250/29476316/ctrl-z.jpg

    • SeeTrain65

      “I’m a heterosapien. I don’t do that homo shit.” – Bumpkin Central

  • wait! what?
    • gallbladder

      Where can I get tickets? My parent’s 40th wedding anniversary is coming up (true!) and I want to get them something special to mark the occasion.

      • wait! what?

        Ticket Master!
        Look for “Blundering the World Asunder; Idiots in Heat!”
        SRO because every structure on the planet will be leveled…

        • SeeTrain65

          Be prepared for the 90 percent markup.

          And the 100 percent fuck up.

        • gallbladder

          T-shirts and programs or GTFO.

    • Panika MCD

      with all these culture wars and white genocides and infights and such, I can’t keep anything straight anymore.

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      I never thought nuclear war, with an unhinged dictator, would be the least of my worries.

      • jesterpunk
        • gallbladder

          There’s a difference?

          • jesterpunk

            One has smaller hands then the other?

          • gallbladder

            …and better hair.

        • Vagenda and Pee-ara

          Ha ha…I left it vague on purpose, considering they are both unhinged dictators. I’ve been wondering when Trump is going to start turning up with military uniforms bedazzled with flair.

          • jesterpunk

            4th of July if he can get his military parade in DC.

          • Three Finger Salute

            He doesn’t fit in David Clark’s “Boy Scout Bling” outfit.

          • Wuulf

            His biggest medal will be the Order of the Bone Spurs.

    • Anna Elizabeth

      But her eMails…..

    • SeeTrain65
    • Three Finger Salute

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XA_r1xEA_2M

      RIP Glenn. We’re all gonna get Frey’d.

      • wait! what?

        Donald was a hard-headed man he was brutally loathsome
        And she was terminally shitty

        • Three Finger Salute

          That tired old man that we elected had installed as king. czar.

    • therblig

      “Aw, hell” – Ken Burns

      • SeeTrain65

        We all now know at least one person who did watch “The Vietnam War.”

        The one who needed to watch it most.

    • What are the odds that, at the same time, there are two petulant attention whore man babies leading different countries?
      I mean, what are the odds?

  • Anna Elizabeth

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iqe_Sb9pWk8&list=PLgA_QpnjZQywhhsQy5fWuWLjDw1jBmMUj&index=45

    I’m trying to find the movie with the young, Hawt Napoleon. I love his “Come at me Bitches!” when the Royal Navy is shelling the fort.

  • Panika MCD
    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      Who is JJP? Is that short for Just a Jelicious Puppy?

      • Panika MCD

        Jazzy Jazz Pants! (Pants are not pants, but do double as Cuddle Pants.)

        • Vagenda and Pee-ara

          Who is she? She’s got such a great face.

          • Panika MCD

            she’s my foster dog. I was supposed to take her back to the shelter today, but a) Alien Brother is sick so he couldn’t drive us as planned, b) they don’t have any open kennels and c) I don’t want to put her back in a kennel–I want a new foster home or, preferably, a furever home for her.

            I can’t keep her much longer because she needs a backyard if I’m going to be able to do long hours which is required when working in politics. I don’t have a backyard and I can’t see crating her all day, but she’s still not clear about what she can and cannot put her mouth on.

            I also too simply can’t afford another dog in my life even if I did have another backyard. I took her on to make room at the shelter when Harvey hit. (a lot of us did because: most of us had offered housing for people and people didn’t take us up on it. so, without anything else to do, we went to the animal shelter.)

            unfortunately, she is black, a pit mix and older so 3 things that make it SUPER HARD to find a furever home despite how fab she is.

          • A: you are wonderful
            B: I wish I could :/ Landlo said no doggies.

          • Panika MCD

            just help me convince Fartknocker that this is his dog!

          • ooo was Fartknocker interested? Come on, Mr. Knocker, you know you want a pooch!

          • Panika MCD

            he said she had the bestest eyeballs and face and he actually lives in Austin.

          • OH! Then maybe!

          • Vagenda and Pee-ara

            She’s a great dog. I hate that America kills so many dogs every year. They’re such great beings, and we treat them terribly, except for the spoiled rotten ones in good homes. I hope you find her a home. Could you maybe keep her and drop her off at doggie daycare? Maybe the owners of the daycare would cut you a break if you explained her rescue situation.

          • Panika MCD

            I can’t afford doggy daycare when it’s just CJ. JJP though is in no danger of being euthanized at Austin Pets Alive! they did five surgeries for her when most would euthanize after the first didn’t take. they even have parvo and FLV wings. I just don’t want her to experience the confusion and hurt of being back in a kennel.

          • Vagenda and Pee-ara

            I understand. I wish I could take her, and all the other dogs, too. Sniffle…

          • Panika MCD
          • Vagenda and Pee-ara

            Those dogs were really ruff-housing!

  • Vagenda and Pee-ara

    Monty Hall bought the farm. “Come on down…to HELL!”

    Just kidding, I’m sure Monty is in heaven, with all of my dogs.

  • Bub, the cynical zombie
    • Jamoche

      http://www.sfgate.com/news/article/A-kid-walked-into-a-GameStop-wearing-a-Kaepernick-12239623.php
      A kid walked into a GameStop wearing a Kaepernick jersey. Two NFL players bought him an Xbox.

      • gallbladder

        I would have.

      • wait! what?

        Suck it, Sony.

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      Donnie, would you be so kind as to kneel behind me and eat my farts?

      Or do I have to order you to?

      • wait! what?

        Technically, they’d have to be sharts. May I suggest the raw eggs and creamed spinach?

        • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

          I prefer beer, cabbage, beans, peanuts, and Ex-Lax.

          And corn. Can’t forget the cornz.

    • Occupied Territory of Kavefish

      I want someone to follow Trump and Sessions around, and whenever they try to take a crap, play the national anthem so they can’t sit down.

  • ariel_gee_398
    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      “Opps!”

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      AAAAARRRRGGGH….runs screaming from the room yelling “I just can’t take it anymore.”

  • jesterpunk
    • Trump tweet for every occasion!

      Oh. And Republicans, about that “Give him a chance! You have to support the president!!!!” Stuff?
      SHUT THE FUCK UP

      • Holly

        So the “Give him a chance. Give him time to show his leadership skills. He’s new at this so show him your support”. I’d have to say to the Republican morans – All he’s shown us is his sagging fat fucking ass since day one.

        • I like to say to them “Like you gave Obama a chance? What was that about making someone a first term president, again?”

    • Anna Elizabeth

      xD When you get the Joke, you cannot help but laugh.

    • Alan

      Uh huh.

  • Vagenda and Pee-ara

    Soooo…the National Association of Realtors is predicting a 10% haircut in housing if Trump’s tax cuts go through. The reason being that there will no longer be a tax benefit to owning your own home, unless you are very wealthy (SURPRISE! There’s a twist I bet you didn’t see coming).

    The good news is that while your house will be worth less money, eighty percent of the tax breaks will accrue to the richest 1%, and 40% will accrue to the richest .1%. Yay! I’m so sick of all this winning.

    • ariel_gee_398

      All part of the plan. The goal is to have as much of the wealth of this country held in as few hands as possible – reducing the financial viability of homeownership means more people rent from slumlord “real estate tycoons” and the like.

    • That is what I was saying.
      Why is no friggin news source crunching the “tax break!” numbers? What with all the deductions they are cutting out, surely that 1000 dollars is actually a negative?

      • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

        There is a provision in the “budget” to no longer require CBO scores.

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        Middle class people may end up paying more according to Trump’s spokesdick on the economy. Oh goody!

    • Gosala

      A contraction in the housing market will ripple out into business that depend on the wages of construction workers (e.g. grocery stores, has stations, ya know the “real” economy).

      I’m not clever enough to calculate whether the result is a general recession, but it wouldn’t surprise me.

      (No.1 on the list of how capitalists kill the workers who make their golden eggs)

      • Recession, depression, tomayto…tomahto…..

        • persistently_resistant_gayby

          Oh there won’t be any tomatoes left after the depression, alright…

        • Gosala

          fun fact: they were called recessions in the 19th. Then politicians decided that they needed a euphemism and fixed on depression, until…

          • Three Finger Salute

            This time around, it’ll be more than a depression. It’ll be a bipolar mania, an autistic meltdown, a schizophrenic psychosis, an obsessive-compulsive hair-pulling fit…

            Our D.S.M. economy is going to be winning all the time!

      • Three Finger Salute
        • Gosala

          precisely

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        I have something that will cheer you up! A study came out this week that the richest one percent have managed to gather up even more of the wealth pie over the past few years, due to the soaring stock market (Obama was such a loser he couldn’t even be a good socialist!). Thanks, Obama!

        Enjoy!
        http://www.esquire.com/news-politics/a12484304/1-percent-income-inequality/

        • Gosala

          Yep. That was the whole point of Piketty’s book: rents grow faster than wages so over time wealth becomes more concentrated at the top.

      • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

        Also, construction in general. A repeat of the real estate rash, just when Millennials aren’t buying houses anyway.
        My town is having a “tiny houses” expo this weekend.

    • jesterpunk

      FAKE NEWZ Paul Ryan said eleventy billion new jobs will be created once the rich have all the moneys.

      • Gosala

        Ryan is an oozing pustual with the integrity of pit demon and the intellect of half digested cheese.

        • jesterpunk

          He is one of the “conservative thinkers”.

          • Gosala

            only because the rest of them have the intelligence of cheese that has been fully digested and expunged from the body.

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        Sure, just like when Reagan and GWB were preznit. I remember the massive numbers of new jobs in 2008 just like it was yesterday.

  • msanthropesmr

    DOUCHE CANOE TO THE RESCUE!

  • Anna Elizabeth

    Maybe I should not have shot so many guys down this month now that we are going to have a Nuclear War.

    Oh wells, no chemistry means “bad lay” anyway.

    • Quite. Look at it this way.
      When the time comes, do you wanna have your life flash before your eyes and it being an endless repetition of horrible, lousy, selfish lovers? Or would you rather the sexy flashes to be, if fewer, MUCH hawter?

      • Anna Elizabeth

        You are correct, Ma’am. xD That second thing is what I want to remember. My last guy was way hung, and prettier than I am. xD

      • wait! what?

        Perfect name for an end of the world orgy: The Flesh Before Your Eyes.

    • Panika MCD

      you deserve good lays.

  • jaspersdad
    • Seamus Romney

      This is a thing of beauty, and better than any pr0n I could have found online.
      Computers are a wonderful thing.

      • jaspersdad

        The whole video is great.

        https://youtu.be/aMqhoYjY2X0

        • Seamus Romney

          I needed this in my life. Thanks!

        • doktorzoom

          [Video remove by moderator as well]

    • It really is an excellent shop job.

    • wait! what?

      That’s Donald’s penalty for trying to commit an end zone infraction.

    • doktorzoom

      [gif of Donald Trump being knocked down by a football player deleted] As I said the other time somebody posted this, if we’re not happy about that gif of Trump knocking down Hillary with a golf ball, then this isn’t acceptable, either.

      Please review the rules.

      — Dok Zoom, Yr Friendly Neighborhood Comments Moderator

      • jaspersdad

        Yep, sorry should have known better.

  • Seamus Romney