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Look at this motherfucking pussy.

One of the saddest things in the world is watching old white racists show everybody what pussies they really are, and thinking everybody secretly agrees with them. You see it with gun humpers who absolutely MUST be allowed to carry their penis guns everywhere they go, because of all the #THREATS. Personally, we see it in our hometown of Memphis (a majority black city) all the time, in the comments section of our local newspaper, where scared rednecks who long ago decamped to the exurbs hick-splain to us how they had to get away from the city (where we live) because you couldn’t even go Kroger-ing without having your dick shot off no more. (SPOILER: Faithful Kroger shopper, dick doing just fine thankyew.)

These things came to mind when we saw Donald Trump, white supremacist pussy-in-chief, tell Fox News that NFL owners are probably “afraid” of their black players who are protesting. They’d do something about the protests, Trump guesses, but if they did, THE BIG BURLY BLACKITY BLACK GUYS WOULD GIT THEM, we guess.

“I have so many friends [Factcheck: Donald Trump does not actually have friends. – ed.] that are owners and they’re in a box. I’ve spoken to couple of them and they say, ‘we are in a situation where we have to do something.’ I think they’re afraid of their players, you want to know the truth. And I think it’s disgraceful and they’ve got to be tough and they’ve got to be smart because you look at the ratings, the ratings are going way down.”

That’s right. NFL owners and coaches are just SHITTING THE BED IN FEAR, because some of their players are black. Hey, know who else shits the bed over things like that? Trump’s base. Fox News viewers. Those people in our local newspaper’s comments section. As Daily Kos notes, if everything Trump has been saying the past week, from his initial comments at the Alabama white pride GOP rally to his comments about how (white) NASCAR is good and patriotic and American, has been a dogwhistle for his sister-diddling supporters, this comment about NFL owners being “afraid” to discipline their black players is BLOW, GABRIEL, BLOW!

We imagine Trump really is afraid of black people, especially black men. You see it when he talks about the “carnage” of the inner cities. Some of it is just home-fried racism, the kind his Klan-lovin’ daddy instilled in him long ago. But with Trump, for whom ego is everything, we’re going to guess he’s also feeling very intimidated right now.

You can almost imagine him looking down at his own tiny hands and feeling, ahem, “less than,” and pining for the days when The Blacks knew their place.

Trump also told the Fox idiot that “most people” agree with him about this. He imagines all of white America and all these NFL owners are secretly nodding their heads along in agreement with the orange pussy loser who loses a lot, and simultaneously losing control of their wee-wee bladders, because BOO! BLACK GUYS! It’s part of the pathology we started out with, the sick belief among old white racist men that everybody secretly knows what they’re talkin’ about, but they’re just too afraid/oppressed by P.C. culture to speak out. Sadly for Trump and his fellow white supremacists, that’s just not true.

To be clear, we’re not Pollyanna-ing about how America isn’t on Trump’s side because racism is over. There’s still ONE METRIC FUCKTON of racism in this country. Otherwise, even fewer than 29% of Americans would agree with the president that “fuck those guys.” But the particular type of overt, pathetic racism Trump is revealing, that he imagines NFL owners are “afraid” of their black players, simply because Donald Trump is afraid of them?

America prefers presidents who aren’t pussies like that.

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  • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

    Dear Donald, Life isn’t just a box of ratings.

    • kaydenpat

      He’s a Reality Star. That’s all he cares about. I wonder if he knows his ratings are historically low.

      • therblig

        As long as Max von Mayerling keeps writing and sending those fan letters, trumpy will be ready for his close up.

  • DainBramage
    • kaydenpat

      This is something that Trump wouldn’t even dream of doing. He’s trying to grift as much money tax payer dollars into his empire as possible while he’s in the White House.

      • coozledad

        It’s not just that money is God to them. It’s the odor of money. Money crucified and reborn as the hope of more money. The eternal lure of the blue dollar becoming gold. The purgatory of dollars lost or not grabbed quickly enough for a want of vigilant greed.

        Your money that is not in their fucking pockets torments the living shit out of them.

  • Biel_ze_Bubba

    Il Douche knows what his base is afraid of, and that’s what counts these days.

    • willi0000000

      everybody in the leadership of that party is a paranoia farmer.

  • ManchuCandidate

    Fear of a Bigly Black Dick

  • Three Finger Salute

    First! Disqus resetting the counter clock again…

    not to nitpick but it looks like the italics tag got stuck on this page.

  • freakishlypersistent

    So, basically “Hide the women!”

  • kaydenpat

    Yeah, you gotta be tough with those Negroes. Bring back lynching or public whippings or selling them off to plantations down south. Gotta be rough with them, I tell ya!

    • exinkwretch

      “Negroes?” Politically correct RINO!

  • LeftyProud

    Of all places, saw this great comment on Facebook

    “How dare these ungrateful black people disrespect OUR country & OUR flag. They should be happy that they are no longer our slave.

    That is like men telling women how dare you be upset with me slapping you, I put a roof over your head. You should be grateful I allow you to go outside. Don’t be disrespectful sugar tits.

    End of the day, Know your place”

    • kaydenpat

      Trump? Sounds like him.

  • freakishlypersistent

    We really need a remake of Blazing Saddles right about now..

    • The Wanderer

      “‘Scuse me while I whip this out.”

    • Saxo the Grammarian

      The sheriff is near.

    • John Thorstensen

      “It’s twue! It’s twue!”

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸
    • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste
      • Alan

        Seems pretty mild. What a baby.

        • puredog

          If Obama were to do it again today in DGAF mode, you can bet it would be less mild.

    • freakishlypersistent

      What about a vulgar gold tower named after yourself in the heart of “coastal elites” do these rubes not get?

    • Joe Beese

      “Waging a culture war” suggests that he’s actually on their side.

      He’s not.

    • kaydenpat

      How does this culture war put food and money into the hands of this mythical White Working Class though? The NFL has already come out to support the Black players who are engaging in protests so that’s not going to change. I don’t see how Trump thinks he’s going to dictate to NFL owners what to do or how he’s going to win anything.

    • YoBunnyBunny

      The war was “foisted” on him by Obama?

      So Obama made you be dumb ass birther? I thought that was Hillary’s fault.

    • Edith Prickly
  • msanthropesmr

    The day that straight white males are firmly in the minority can’t come soon enough.

    • BadKitty904

      They’re certainly not adjusting to that minority status very gracefully. It’s almost as if they’re afraid minorities in America have some reason to fear difficulties…

    • Three Finger Salute

      Nah, just chest-thumping, hood-wearing, testosterone-addicted assholes and the toxic masculinity culture that bred the NFL and, by extension, Trump in the first place. Obama is straight male but not white; Trudeau is straight white male but not asshole. But Ann Coulter hates uppity black sportsballers just like her alpha hero Trump.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        Ann Coulter’s greatest regret is she was born about 50 years too late to be the Bitch of Buchenwald.

    • Spurning Beer

      They’re already in the minority. But add in the straight white women, and you’re over 50%.

  • Joe Beese

    Fix your EM tags, my friend.

  • Three Finger Salute

    In a related story, Stumpage fils thinks he’s such a manly man that he went to “cuckland,” killed moose and now wants to go after squirrel.

    Donald Trump Jr. ditched Secret Service protection to kill a moose in Canada — and a big one, too

    …of course you realize, this means war…

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/02636e5ff78982682766fa0a82c9aa77a7a5f5599d58cd5970bd96bf1dac4ac6.jpg

  • Saxo the Grammarian

    Yeah, Trump’s tantrums about football players (and owners) taking a knee are very entertaining. And that is all they are – entertainment. He’s keeping his base entertained to distract them from other, not so entertaining, narratives. Like Robert Mueller’s investigation. Like the utter collapse of Trumpcare in the Senate. Like Facebook’s allowing Russian operatives to buy political ads and to promote pro-Trump or anti-immigration rallies. Like the news that Trump team members have been using private email like a common Hillary. See a pattern here? Next time that news-dump o’clock rolls around, watch Trump whirl like a dervish, but pay closer attention to the news dump.

    • MrTusks

      At least Congress is getting the benefit of all the distraction and passing everything they want with negligible resistance.

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸

    I just feel bad (I don’t feel bad at all) for all the tender snowflakes that can’t watch their favorite sport anymore, even if they could pick the right days:
    https://twitter.com/EMlNEMOBAMA/status/913225847104065537

    • BadKitty904

      Maybe they can take up soccer or curling or some such…

      • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

        Competitive monkeyshines?

        • The Wanderer

          Competitive sweaty snugglebunnies?

        • BadKitty904

          I saw the National Championship in Cucamonga several years ago. Several people were injured.

      • John Thorstensen

        Curling is surprisingly watchable. And practically all the players are white!

        • BadKitty904

          I have a Korean bud from college who’s an avid curler. I don’t know why.

          • Dazza

            Cause you play it whilst drinking.

          • BadKitty904

            But that’s true of all sports, isn’t it?

        • YoBunnyBunny

          Ehh… our U.S. American whites might think some of the attire is for queersexuals or something https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/b737801288847ba5fc2823829ccb9da34a3963ab1dfd381aa0a7ed22641b91f5.jpg

          • CafeenMan

            I don’t get the appeal. It’s like shuffleboard with rocks and you push them with your body instead of sticks.

          • FlownΩver

            It’s the world’s slowest game of Giant Billiards, less the cue.

          • Three Finger Salute

            Rainbowsexuals, Canadians, Europeans, same thing. Enemies in uniform.

    • kaydenpat

      Tough to be them. I’ll shed some tears for them after I’ve finished crying over the dead bodies of Black men and women (and children) who have been shot down by the police with no justice.

      • Dept. of Space Tacos

        i agree with sentiment and don’t want to be pedantic, but I’d add all people of color, I think there were two ridicilous police shootings of native americans in NM and NV I saw, and it happens in my heavily latino area as well.

        For some reason the muslim-terrorist panic hasn’t (apparently) seeped into the police depts.

        • kaydenpat

          True. Not trying to ignore the deaths of people of color as a result of trigger happy police.

          • Dept. of Space Tacos

            i assumed them, again, pedantry

      • Finnibar87

        I have run out of tears for fragile flakes o’ snow football fans, and have found I have no fucks left to give anyone.

    • Three Finger Salute

      I fucking hate football and I hope it collapses over this. I’ve had just about enough glorifying of gladiator contests and Brain Damage Inc. Bloodsport as a national pastime is inextricably linked to why this country cheers on blacks getting permanently “tackled” by thug cops in “gridiron body armor.” Fuck football, fuck our culture of recreational violence tied in with racism, and fuck the primitive European savages who voted for Donald Trump.

      • Alan

        Not me. I hope their ratings go through the roof just to make dickface lose his mind on twitter.

        • Lascauxcaveman

          I predict any ratings blips (up or down) will be scarcely outside of the margin of sampling error.

          The Dotard is getting a lot of attention over this thing, which is what he wants of course, but it’s not going to change many folks’ Sunday teevee viewing habits.

      • I hope they bring out the hunger games as an alternative…

        • Three Finger Salute

          Pipe dream of mine that instead of the Stupid Bowl, we get a national Book It! contest to see who can read the most books.

          Even if we did, America would be disqualified (at least for the international round) because coloring books don’t count. Let alone coloring books that don’t even require crayons because everyone in it is white.

    • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

      I took my Canadian (non-gun loving) husband to see Charlie Daniels in 2000. Not having followed him since his “Long haired country boy” days, I had no idea what a hypocrite he had morphed into. He raved about “rag-heads” and child molesters so much I was embarrassed that I ever suggested seeing him. And since it is all projection with these guys they should check his basement.

  • BadKitty904

    OT: Hmm…

    Puerto Rico has the highest concentration of Walmarts in the world.

    • kaydenpat

      You’re listening to Sam Seder on the Majority Report too?

      • BadKitty904

        Ha! I get get ALL my news – outside of our Wonkettes – from the UK’s PopBitch.

        • kaydenpat

          Ok. A guest on Majority Report just stated that fact when you made your comment.

          • BadKitty904

            Prolly a fellow PopBitch reader…

    • John Thorstensen

      A student of mine has family in Peurto Rico, and said that the Walmart where they’d get stuff when they visited was demolished by the hurricane.

    • RocketManCaptainHowdy

      Had the world’s largest JC Penney’s, I think, in Plaza Las Americas, when I was a wee lad. Also some sort of widescreen theatre, Cinemascope maybe, though I never saw a widescreen show there.

  • CutterTeam

    In our continuing national strife, please don’t forget the real tragedy: Soul Man (1986) appears to have been all for naught.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/a4b92735247ee77e99e2f53d69ff13228c48e93988d5a94715956c93761bcfbb.jpg

    • Three Finger Salute

      lol, Ponyboy libelz.

      • WotsAllThisThen

        Stay spray-tan gold, Ponyboy.

        • Finnibar87

          I just never got how anyone thought that script was a good idea.

          • WotsAllThisThen

            How much do you NOT want to hang out with the agent who said, “I can get you in a movie where you’re eating watermelon in blackface.”

          • Three Finger Salute

            It was the Reagan era. I rest my case.

    • msanthropesmr

      The real tragedy is that someone got paid to make that movie

      • foiled again

        Secondary to the tragedy several paid to see it.

        • BadKitty904

          Or the tragedy that copies of it still exist.

          • CafeenMan

            And the tragedy that I’ve never heard of it nor seen it and will now need to find a copy.

          • BadKitty904

            “Appalling” is just the start…

          • CafeenMan

            Sounds great!

  • freakishlypersistent
    • Eileen Besse

      THIS.

  • MynameisBlarney

    What a weak and frightened little man.
    Pathetic.

    • MrTusks

      He clearly believes the only reasons anyone could be moved to do anything are 1) personal profit, and 2) protection from physical harm.

  • Bub, the cynical zombie

    Donald trump loves peppering the vaguely English like sounds that come out of his cakehole (Mar-a-Lago chocolate cake. Tremendous!) with the words “tough” and “smart.” Rather ironic, since he is the veritable antithesis of both those things. He is also the diametric opposite of, among others: “courageous,” “honest,” “intelligent” and “compassionate.”

  • I had a strange dream last night that someone replaced trump’s cheeto dusting spray with a can of coal tar that he was unable to wash off – so he ran around in black face and gave a speech about the https://www.rawstory.com/2017/09/trump-admin-charging-puerto-ricans-full-flight-prices/roblem of inner city black men leaving their baby mommas.

  • WeaselPoo

    You know what would heal this racial divide that is obviously Obama’s fault?
    A regularly scheduled TV Black and White Minstrel Show–like we had in the days of my yoot! THAT would calm everything down! Then we could all focus on the important stuff, like Jesus and caring for the oppressed 1%.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Oh, to be a fly on the wall when the coach of my team hears about this crap…

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/0f7083c47134eb971f72cd461af2df4fb6f09da3081b899cd4f00669f1c17738.png

  • BreakingDeadMen

    Sometimes he lies. Sometimes he projects. Sometimes some from column a, some from column b.

    • Finnibar87

      But he always denies.

      • BreakingDeadMen

        Deny, Lie, Alibi.

        The Deal of the Shart.

    • Three Finger Salute

      You can’t explain that.

  • CutterTeam

    If only these NFL players would stop dragging politics into the workplace.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/73b51ffb5c83b8960590dc4276f7c68fa75b1cc2199811d61e2ba5441fea3891.jpg

    • MynameisBlarney

      GAH!

      TRIGGER WARNING!!!

    • Everrett Fanuelli

      Dick Cheney looks good.

      • MynameisBlarney
      • freakishlypersistent

        No he doesn’t. And neither does she. Why do all the moral scolds look like that? Isn’t she thrice married or something?

        • MynameisBlarney

          You’d be lookin’ all scowly too if all you wore were adult sized toddler clothes.

          • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

            with a brain to match.

        • Celtic_Gnome

          Four, actually, but two of those were to the same guy.

    • Bub, the cynical zombie

      DAMN, man! Put your f****ng helmet back on!
      *pauses, looks closer. recognition dawns*
      Oh…never mind…

      • therblig

        i thought that was the football

        • Bub, the cynical zombie

          Well, sure, for a minute…but the glasses gave it away.

    • WotsAllThisThen

      “Is that when you decided to become a lawyer, and gay?” -Megyn Kelly

    • BadKitty904
    • MrTusks

      Don’t forget, your employer is allowed to make medical decisions for you based on their personal religious preferences, but a football player isn’t allowed to change his stance when a song is playing.

    • foiled again

      Football with a hairdo.

    • Eileen Besse

      THIS!

    • coozledad

      Bout damn time the Nashville Baptists got a meanass nose guard.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    you couldn’t even go Kroger-ing without having your dick shot off no more

    IIRC from my East Coast days, I’m pretty sure the real danger from Kroger stores is the crappy quality of their produce. Get a refrigerator!

    • Thiazin Red

      Yes, holy shit did the produce there suck. The store I had to go to occasionally also always smelled vaguely of rotten produce.

      • CafeenMan

        There was a Winn Dixie in Gainesville, Florida that always smelled of rancid meat. And they called themselves, “The Beef People” or something like that.

        I never bought meat there and I’ve never stepped foot in one since even though I’ve heard they’ve really cleaned up their act.

        • Three Finger Salute

          Local Beef People!

  • Covfefe

    Owners don’t wants to give the players union anything at the table. Owners are trading good will for money.

    • MrTusks

      This statement applies to the entire history of the National Football League Players’ Association.

    • Lascauxcaveman

      The owners are maybe just a bit better at this whole let’s-make-some-money-off-of-this-sportsball thing than the Dotard.

      • FlownΩver

        See also: USFL – by the time it folded, it had lost over $163 million.

        Who else could lose millions with a casino operation and a pro football team? More proof of The Art of the Fail.

  • WotsAllThisThen

    In response, Trump has ordered Congress to begin work on passing legislation he calls the Fugitive Player Act.

    • therblig

      “No, Mr. President, I know it sounds like Dred Locks, but it has to do with hair.” – Advisor to be fired soon

      • FlownΩver

        “Are you sure it isn’t about an enslaved salmon?”

  • CafeenMan

    OK, but to be fair, I AM afraid of the black players. I’m also terrified of the white players.

    And that’s why I don’t run onto the field in the middle of the game, snatch the ball and try to run off with it.

    All those guys are REALLY big!

    • They sell bear mace in hunting and camping supply stores…

      • Ricky Gay

        Footballs also too!

        • CafeenMan

          They’re free if you snatch them off the field assuming you don’t incur hospital bills or legal bills in the process.

          It really helps if you close your eyes so they can’t see you.

      • FlownΩver

        The bears find that shit amusing.

    • Bub, the cynical zombie

      Yeah, it definitely isn’t a good idea…

      https://youtu.be/HdP2G7UtS9I

      • Mike Steele

        Lady MS, a Balto. homegirl, hon, will never forget Mike Curtis and that magic fan moment. Thanks for the stroll down memory lane:)

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    I’ve spoken to couple of them and they say, ‘we are in a situation where we have to do something.’

    After Donald walked away triumphantly from them, they went on to say “Because you’d think POTUS would have better things to do than to attack the NFL over something like this FFS!”

    • Nah, there’s nothing else going on the in the world. And by the world, I mean the area within Donnie’s current field of vision.

      • WotsAllThisThen

        And his field of vision is… what does he have a 65″ TV?

        • Three Finger Salute

          Craniorectal inversion syndrome

    • MrTusks

      Um. Was the something they did giving vocal support? Because a lot did that.

  • TundraGrifter

    Memphis: Blues, BBQ and beer. What more does one need?

    • FlownΩver

      Well, there’s also the Gibson custom shop. But as long as The Nuge plays their stuff I’ll stick with Rick – a fine California company.

  • Well, I have little doubt that the wealthy white owners club doesn’t give a fuck about police violence towards black people, but they’re not afraid of their players.

    They’re afraid of losing money and losing good potential free agents and rookies who will make them money if they let their good ol’ boy flag fly free.

  • An Outhouse for the résistance

    This is from 2007 but still funny and typical of the racist homophobes:

    GOP FL State Senator Allen: “Black guy forced me to suck dick”
    ==============================
    Then Kavanaugh said he told Allen, “I wanna know what I gotta do for 20 bucks before we leave.’ ” He said Allen replied: “I don’t know what you’re into.”

    According to Kavanaugh’s statement, the officer said, “do you want just [oral sex]?” and Allen replied, “I was thinking you would want one.”

    The officer said he then asked Allen, “but you’ll still give me the 20 bucks for that . . . and that the legislator said, “yeah, I wouldn’t argue with that.”

    • Lance Thrustwell

      And I’ll bet anything that guy was an outspoken anti-LGBT ‘family values’ politician.

      • The Wanderer

        Yes, he was. I laughed for fifteen straight minutes.

  • fawkedifiknow

    I pine for the days when kneeling WAS a sign of respect.

    • I guess they all stand in white churches now….

    • bubbuhh

      Trump think kneeling a sign uv a BJ unless itz in public and anthem playin

    • YoBunnyBunny

      This. It’s not like the sportsballers are grabbing their crotches and giving the flag the finger during the national anthem.

      • Three Finger Salute

        Trump likes WWE, would he shut up if they did a Spinaroonie instead?

        https://media.giphy.com/media/eYefTcfZCrtZu/200.gif

      • ImGoingBacon

        They grab their (and their opponents) crotches throughout the game, so no need to overdo it beforehand.

  • Villago Delenda Est

    Hillary nailed these vile assholes with “deplorables.”

    Because they are.

    • Finnibar87

      Hillary got an advanced memo in the form of Limbaugh caller transcripts.

    • Bebecca

      But she was wrong, she said half of his supporters are deplorable. It’s all of them.

  • Angela Ruzzo

    The problem with a lot of white people is that they are all for equality and charity and immigration in theory, as long as they don’t have to see things that personally disturb them, like black people, or Muslims, or panhandlers, or women marching with pink vagina hats. If they see these things, they become very uncomfortable because they might have to actually confront their fears. They might even have to TALK to these other people. Many white people are very happy with segregation, as long as it doesn’t affect them personally, isn’t official, and nobody talks about it.

    • Finnibar87

      There was an old saying back in the Age of Empire:

      It’s far easier to build Jerusalem somewhere other than where you live.

      Which means the imperialist countries like England forced India to do shit it would never do in the UK, like letting Ireland have Home Rule.

      • Three Finger Salute

        And then, someone fucked up and built Jerusalem in Jerusalem. Oops.

    • Three Finger Salute

      Well, I admit I’m personally squicked by the sight of naughty bits — even in the form of knitted hats or other “metaphorical” representations. I thought that whole thing was kind of counterproductive in its embrace of (rather than rejection of) Trumpish vulgarity. So much for going high when others go low. But other than that, I do see your point. It’s why Republicans have wanted to get rid of PBS since its inception; PBS from the start showed a side of America that wasn’t the bubble of Mayberry, and drew ire immediately for being a communist infiltration plot. (How ironic, Republicans were only bothered by “Russia” interfering with media when it didn’t work to their advantage.) Now the Ken Burns documentary is digging deep into the Vietnam era and calling into question our justification of unjust wars. Got to keep the Potemkin village intact, in order to retain power.

      • AnnieGetYerFun

        I thought that the pussy hats were just pink kitty hats? I mean, no naughty bits or anything.

        • Angela Ruzzo

          Some of them were shaped like vaginas, and that offended certain people.

      • NastyBossetti

        Wearing a hat with cat ears is not remotely on the same planet of vulgarity as bragging about sexual assault. The problem with what Trump said isn’t that he used the word “pussy” and then people turned that word into a rallying cry. The problem is that he was talking about assaulting people with impunity. THAT is vulgar. “Pussy” is just a word. The hats were just hats that looked like they had cat ears.

      • Angela Ruzzo

        The idea behind the pink hats is that Republicans everywhere keep trying to tell women what they can and can’t do with their reproductive organs, while simultaneously uttering dehumanizing remarks about said organs, and if men can legislate what we do with our vaginas and uteruses while acting as if our vaginas are the only female bits they are interested in, then we can walk around in pink vagina hats and confront them with the fact that we know what they are doing and don’t like it, and that our vaginas and uteruses belong to US, and that there are actual human beings with minds and civil rights attached to those vaginas and uteruses. Some of us even like to have sex (what a shock!).

        Think about the reaction of many people to a parade of white men waving Confederate flags. Many people might not like it, but they wouldn’t necessarily feel revolted by it, even though that flag is a symbol of treason and slavery. Yet they see a crowd of women wearing totally non-confrontational hand-knitted pink vagina hats, and they freak out, because “nasty!”

        We don’t think it’s nasty or vulgar at all…we are very attached to our vaginas (pun intended). Our vaginas go everywhere with us and satisfy important hygiene needs, and they need occasional exercise and some TLC.

        It’s not as if 10 million women wore their pink vagina hats to work the day after they protested, but as protest march apparel, it’s entirely appropriate.

    • grindstone

      This falls right in line with my MIL’s refrain: black people used to be *respectful*, i.e,. she was personally never confronted by civil unrest, ever.

      • Angela Ruzzo

        Of course they were “respectful” – she probably hardly ever saw one. I was born in 1956 and I didn’t actually meet a black person socially, other than the lady who cleaned house for the rich, retired couple across the street, or the disabled man who sat on a corner downtown selling pencils, until they integrated our schools in 1965. Before then African Americans in my town had their own neighborhoods, churches, grocery stores, lawyers, dry cleaners, undertakers, etc. and we didn’t mix. Then we started to mix everywhere, and some people really hated that.

        • grindstone

          Oh I know. And lots LOTS of southerners were fed the idea that “they prefer to keep to their own” and believed that shit to the core. You know, “it’s the way it should be”. It doesn’t occur to them that they held (and are still holding) the doors closed.

          • Angela Ruzzo

            When I moved to Louisiana from mostly-white South St. Louis County in 2005, where I had lived for 20 years, I wondered how long it would take before I stopped noticing the race of people I interacted with. It took 2 months. I never met a single white Louisianian who had achieved that. If there were any, either I never met them, or they moved away. (I might have an advantage, because I’ve traveled all over the world and met and lived with all sorts of people.) To be honest, after I’d been there about 6 weeks I thought to myself that if you were born in Louisiana, and you were smart and talented and wanted to be free of bigotry and achieve some degree of greatness, you had to move away, no matter what race you were.

  • Mr. Blobfish

    You have to be tough and you have to be smart like that guy that used to own the New Jersey Generals until he bankrupted the league. His name is on the tip of my tongue.

    • An Outhouse for the résistance

      Didn’t he once have a casino or something too? or was it an on line university? or branded food products? I can’t quite remember the name.

      • ImGoingBacon

        a clothing line, also too?

        • An Outhouse for the résistance

          thongs?

    • AnnieGetYerFun

      Ugh, please don’t cut off the tip of your tongue.

  • bubbuhh

    Trump also askeert uv wimmenz who think he toopit

    • An Outhouse for the résistance

      the bleeders.

      • bubbuhh

        The bleed!!! It make him nauseous!

        • Finnibar87

          Blood, gahhhhh!

          I’m guessing the idiot Trump never watched any of his children emerge from his womminz wherevers.

        • CafeenMan

          Yet he loves the shit he puts in his mouth.

      • Finnibar87

        Blood on the floor, argghhhh Donnie J is DISGUSTED.

        He let a guy bleed from all his wherevers once at Marge In O Ergo, his only action was to run away from the poor man in horror and disgust.

  • An Outhouse for the résistance

    At this rate, some team is going to hire Colin Kaepernick just for the publicity.

    • NotALiar

      I was listening to local wingnut radio in Indiana. These people are fucking convinced that their boycott is the end of the NFL. These idiots are seriously pissed off that black folk are protesting.

      • AnnieGetYerFun

        Weird, we are usually so nice about letting black people express discontent over our treatment of them!

    • Frostedfield

      Apparently the Alouettes up here in Montreal are checking him out, making doe eyes at him and all. It’d be the CFL, but he’d still get to play at least?

      • Lascauxcaveman

        If Kaep is smart, he’ll hold out until some NFL team gets its 1st string QB injured. He’ll get the callup some time this year, in the NFL.

        • Frostedfield

          I don’t honestly know much of anything about the NFL or football (it’s not hockey, after all), but I do know that your guys get paid better and it would also send a very different message for him to get back in the NFL instead of “running away” or “settling” for a Canadian team.

          I wish him the best, really.

        • An Outhouse for the résistance

          My fingers are croosed he ends up in Buffalo because that’s my team and we a pretty so-so QB.

  • Lance Thrustwell

    You know for such a stupid guy, it’s kind of amazing the talent he has for coming right up to the edge of making an explicitly racist (or sexist, or homophobic, etc.) statement, but leaving a tiny window of plausible deniability.

    This is a perfect example. If he were somehow pressed on this comment, he could say something like “well of course I didn’t mean physically afraid. I meant they’re afraid of the players leaving or doing something even more radical, because players have become too empowered and there’s no discipline or team spirit anymore…”, yada yada barf.

    • Flashman

      Owners be like all afraid that the playahs will hurt them with votes.

      • Lance Thrustwell

        Yeah! Something like that.

    • MrTusks

      Like when my dad will mention that someone he’s talking about is black or gay, when it’s utterly irrelevant to the story. (At least, irrelevant to any decent-minded listener.) It meant something to him, and if it means something to you, you are welcome to infer it.

      • AnnieGetYerFun

        God, my mom does that ALL THE FUCKING TIME.

        • MrTusks

          “Not that there’s anything wrong with that.”

          Well there’s certainly SOMETHING with that, or else you wouldn’t have said it. This isn’t PC culture oppression, all you have to do is NOT make an affirmative effort to sound like an asshole. Why can’t you handle that?

          • AnnieGetYerFun

            I think my mom just does it to point out that she knows a black person, or a gay person. Lest we forget that this is possible.

    • AnnieGetYerFun

      “Well, football players are quite large. All of them. Except the little weenie who kicks the ball.”

      • MrTusks

        Hey, that weenie is often the biggest hero. Without Adam Vinatieri, Tom Brady has three fewer Superb Owl rings.

  • Scooby

    Remember when Trump asked black people what they had to lose by voting for him?

    • WotsAllThisThen

      I don’t think anyone believed him then.

    • Finnibar87

      Black people do.

      • YoBunnyBunny

        Oh, we remember a lot of things about Trump.

    • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

      Now they know. (The ones that voted for him).

  • Iam Reading

    Trump and his entire cabinet, including the allegedly black Dr. Ben “Uncle Tom” Carson, is afraid of black men.

  • MynameisBlarney
    • BadKitty904

      And properly so.

      • Bub, the cynical zombie

        “Owners of dogs will have noticed that, if you provide them with food and water and shelter and affection, they will think you are god. Whereas owners of cats are compelled to realize that, if you provide them with food and water and shelter and affection, they draw the conclusion that they are gods.”
        ― Christopher Hitchens, The Portable Atheist: Essential Readings for the Nonbeliever

        • foiled again

          As the saying goes, dogs have owners, cats have staff.

          • osceola

            When you call a dog, they come to you. When you call a cat, they take a message and get back with you later.

          • marxalot

            You are your cat’s “people” as in, “I’ll have my people call your people.”

          • foiled again

            “I’ll take the matter under advisement.”- Cat

        • BadKitty904
          • CafeenMan

            Your cats either get better food or worse food.

          • arensb

            I’ve known cats that’ll come into the room especially to ignore you. Because they want you to know that you’re being properly ignored.

          • BadKitty904

            You have to admire their professionalism.

          • arensb

            No, you don’t. It’s your choice. But you tend to find a lot fewer hairballs in your shoes if you do.

    • Alan

      It’s their job.

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      I love high-dudgeon kittahs!

    • AnnieGetYerFun

      My cat gives me disapproving glances in between chewing on her paw and licking her own asshole. I’m not sure what I personally do to deserve it, other than providing her with food, healthcare, and shelter.

    • marxalot

      You know what you did.

    • NotReallyHere

      Judgement in exchange for getting to sit on the sofa.

    • renegade500

      I’m sure you deserve it.

  • lucidamente

    A dogwhistle for his sister-diddling supporters

    Please, Evan, show some respect. It’s daughter-diddling supporters.

    • freakishlypersistent

      Why not both? ☺

      • LesBontemps

        Goat-fucker libelz!

        • The Wanderer

          Trump’s not the chicken-fucker,
          He’s the chicken-fucker’s son;
          He just sits there fucking chickens
          Till the chicken-fucker comes.

    • Alan

      Daughter, sister, cousin, ewe. All the same.

      • CafeenMan

        “Hey y’all! I want ya to meet this fine lady. She’s my wife, my mom and my sister!”

  • Daniel
    • alpacapunchbowl

      I’m afraid he couldn’t help it.

  • Scooby

    This is why racists should only watch skiing. Even the background is white.

  • aureolaborealis

    This wouldn’t be that guy who the NFL told to go fuck himself for a sleazy huckster when he wanted to be a team owner, so to show everyone how wrong they were he ran the USFL into bankruptcy, would it? He doesn’t hold grudges, does he?

  • Finnibar87

    Memphis? Home of Evan and the ancient Greeks.

  • bubbuhh

    Trump still think he winning cuz somuvteh of teh somuvteh peeps who can be somuvteh time still being fooled by his azzwaggin.

  • Marla

    And so another day, another reduction in Trump’s mental faculties

    • Three Finger Salute

      Fake math. Cannot divide by zero.

      • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

        Oh, you can divide by zero alright. But the maths gods will NaN!!! you really hard. And it hurts like a motherfucker.

        If I’m writing software and do something stupid, like have a divide by zero inside a loop or something where it happens several thousand times per second, it feels like burning in Hell for evar! Lemme tell ya’!

        • Three Finger Salute

          Well, there you go. The mathematical explanation for the Trump presidency.

          • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

            Indubitably!

      • CafeenMan

        But you can subtract.

      • Marla

        What about a “bigly” zero?

  • Mr. Blobfish

    I think it’s because of all the BBC porn he sees and his tiny peen can’t compare and he knows Melon is totally fantasizing about some other dude when she has to service him.

  • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

    My first trip to Memphis kind a sort a changed my life. Having been raised a Texas redneck racist, I was seventeen the first time I visited Memphis. I drove up from TX and got into the city like one a.m. Like most hicks, the city confused me and I got way, way lost. I drove around for quite awhile, until I was too tired to drive. I stopped at a park and tried to sleep in my car. Eventually I was roused by the sound of conversation outside the car. I peeked out. OMG! There were three or four black men outside my car! I was going to be murdered! Robbed! AAAAAAAH! I pretended to sleep just as hard as I could. Eventually one of them KNOCKED ON MY WINDOW AND ME WITH NO GUN OR ANTYTHING! AAAAAAH! I was terrified but had to acknowledge the knocking so I sat up and rolled down the window. It changed my life so I will never forget what the guy said.

    “Shit, we thought you were fucking dead. You all right, man?”

    • BadKitty904

      Now, that’s a little slice of Americana, right there…

    • Me not sure

      So you weren’t dead then? I love Memphis. Have you ever seen Jim Jarmusch’s film “Mystery Train”?

      • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

        I have not. I will google it post-haste. I loved TN so much that I moved here.

        • Me not sure

          Whereabouts?

          • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

            East TN. The Park.

          • Me not sure

            Nice.

          • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

            You can talk about the grandeur of the Rockies, the vistas of the Plains in bloom, the Majesty of the Oceans on the coasts, but there is nothing like the Smoky Mountain National Park in the fall. And nothing in the world is as impressive as the traffic congestion in Gatlinburg after a TN home game.

          • Me not sure

            You are about to go into my favorite season there.

      • foiled again

        “Hey! Elvis!”

        • Me not sure

          Any cast that includes Rufus Thomas, Joe Strummer, Steve Buscemi, Screamin’ Jay Hawkins, and multiple appearances by Dead Elvis’s ghost can’t be bad.

          • foiled again

            You said it. “You shot me!”

    • An Outhouse for the résistance

      Then they killed you, right?

      • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

        But I got better!
        Edit: They gave me directions after killing me, then admitted that they were afraid of the dead white guy in the car. AFRAID THAT THEY WOULD GET BLAMED FOR IT!

    • ImGoingBacon

      I used to take road trips from DC to Texas twice a year. I planned it so I would get to Memphis around 8pm, got a room at the downtown Westin, and hit up the clubs two blocks away. There may be better BBQ joints in town, but I wasn’t complaining about what I found on Beale. What I hated was getting up in the morning, and having to drive through NE Arkansas. UGH

      • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

        Or, as a good friend of mine once described it, “Where are we? What the hell kind of place is this? Is this really a state? Is it ALL semis driving through to somewhere else?”

        • BrianW

          Every couple of years we have to drive through NE Arkansas and SE Missouri. Something about that area just pisses me off, and all I want to do is get through there as quickly as possible (in both directions).

          • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

            Ditto. Every time I have to drive home for the holidays.

      • grindstone

        The original Corky’s….oh lord. Best ribs I’ve ever had, and I’ve had ribs that you would ask for as your last request before death penalty was carried out. The rest of the Corky’s may just be franchise hell, but the original — jesus cristo. We have direct flights from Tampa and I try to drag my hubs there from time to time.

        • ImGoingBacon

          Good to know. Where is the original located, so I can miss the franchised ones?

    • CeeQ

      And then??!! Then what happened??!! Did they kill you!?? Omg cliff hanger.

      (The hubs literally just said yesterday – hey we should go to Memphis, it looks fun!)

  • Jonny On Maui
  • Oneofthebobs

    “Most people don’t know that they agree with Donald “.

  • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

    He’s like a dog with a bone…a really,really, stupid dog.

    • freakishlypersistent

      Fuck. Even the bone is stupid.

    • The Wanderer
    • BadKitty904

      And a really, really stupid bone.

      • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

        GMTA…to the max!

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      with a really, really stupid bone.

      ETA: @BadKitty904, sorry, I should have opened the new replies…

  • freakishlypersistent

    Delicious irony alert. Kaepernick gets hired so people can cheer him on.

    • Robbertjan Brandenburg

      Really? What team?

  • coozledad

    Gutlessness is a trait Republicans cultivate and reward. Trump has become what passes among his trogs for an authority on military matters despite his gutter cowardice. Paul Ryan can’t even stand up to a motherfucking realtor, the lowest of the low.
    https://www.dailydot.com/layer8/trump-stern-interview-man-blood/

    Trump whips McConnell’s ass, and old Mitch will come a suckin’ up for more of that good ol’ ass beatin’.

    They’re a shit filled strangulated hernia in the American corpus.

    • Lance Thrustwell

      You have a talent for really visceral invective.

      • coozledad

        It’s been my default setting since November of 2000.

      • puredog

        ISWYDT

    • CafeenMan

      The amazing thing is that he doesn’t give any details on anything which is probably why it works. He doesn’t know jack about the military. He probably couldn’t name all the branches.

      He just says he’s going to win and leaves it at that (well, after explaining that everyone before him was losers for not getting the job done).

  • clubseal

    I have been encouraged by the number of veterans I’ve seen speaking against those who want to use them as a cover for their hatred of the NFL players’ protests. Veterans who both disagree that it’s somehow an affront to them, the flag, and George Washington’s corpse, but also who actually understand what the protests are about.

    • Bub, the cynical zombie

      Agreed. The way those on the right try to use vets as props, with no attempt to determine what their actual feelings on the subject are, is shocking as well. Case in point:
      https://twitter.com/VeraMBergen/status/913177706472312832

      • YoBunnyBunny

        “The thing is, I do stand,” he told BuzzFeed News. “Hello, I have technology.”

        Snortle… What the fuck is science for anyway???

      • clubseal

        Same as it ever was, I suppose.

        “You can’t oppose the war because it hurts the troops.”

        “You shouldn’t take a knee during the national anthem because it hurts the troops.”
        “You shouldn’t masturbate in the work bathroom because it hurts the troops.”
        It’s the right’s favorite way to curb free expression.

        • Lance Thrustwell

          That last one is so embarrassing when it’s said in a general employee meeting.

        • CafeenMan

          And then there was Cheney who invented a whole new one:

          “If you {fill in the blank with something he doesn’t want you to do} then the terrorists have won.”

          He used it for basically everything.

          So I learned I can too!

          If you don’t detail my car then the terrorists have won.

          • YoBunnyBunny

            Fuck Cheney! Now I can’t take peanut butter on the airplane–AND THAT’S HOW THE TERRORISTS HAVE WON!!!!!!!111!

          • CafeenMan

            Bush played into the hands of terrorists with every step.

          • Querolous

            Every typo means the errorists win

        • Chyron HR

          “You shouldn’t masturbate in the work bathroom because it hurts the troops.”

          Oh come on, I haven’t done that in years.

          • CafeenMan

            The troops are feeling much better now. Thank you!

    • CafeenMan

      Someone was telling me her dad was a vet and they’re being disrespectful to the flag, the anthem, the military, and blah, blah.

      I told her that her dad being a vet isn’t hereditary and she doesn’t get to pretend she gets any special status because of her dad.

      I went on to tell her that I AM a vet and as such I don’t get any more or less rights to an opinion than anyone else either and that she’s wrong about all it – they aren’t being disrespectful to me or any vet or the flag or the anthem and that she should educate herself about what they’re protesting.

      • YoBunnyBunny

        One of the obnoxious things is how they assume that everybody who served is a Rah! Rah! Flag Humping America Fuck Yeah! “patriot”.

        People serve for many reasons, some of which have little to do with jingoistic bullshit. And not everybody who does serve have a cozy feel the need to drape themselves in a flag any chance they get.

        To the “My dad was I vet, and this is disrespectful” outrage trolls, I’m always like: Yeah, so, my dad served too and I have never seen that man stand up and salute a flag in my life. He would just quietly do the Cynical Black Man face that says “This bullshit right here…”

      • NastyBossetti

        So you’re saying that just because my dad was in the Navy doesn’t mean I am genetically half-veteran? That doesn’t sound right.

    • ImGoingBacon

      Watched the townhall last night on CNN about this subject. The SF soldier who talked to Kaepernick directly about his form of protest was very refreshing. He thought taking a knee would be more impactful than sitting on the bench. You can let the F-16’s fly overhead now.

  • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

    Trump hates black’s because the blah men have big…hands.

    /s

  • Indiepalin

    That’s right, they’re in the Owners Box.

  • Angela Ruzzo

    True story. I was sitting on an airplane flying from Chicago to St. Louis about 20 years ago. I got to board early, for once, and I had an aisle seat in the middle of the plane. As I was sitting there, I saw 4 young black men walking down the aisle. Now, these guys were dressed like movie gangsters – black leather sleeveless vests, no shirts, leather pants, lots of gold chains, studded leather collars, skull earrings – and they had lots of tattoos. They were all very burly and muscular, as well. I distinctly remember thinking “I hope they aren’t going to sit next to me” and of course, they all sat down next to me.

    Well, they turned out to be a rap band from St. Louis who had just gotten a recording contract and went to Chicago for a big press reveal. They dress like that when they perform, and they didn’t have time to change clothes before catching their plane. They were four of the nicest young men I ever met, and we had a delightful conversation, and they gave me a copy of their new CD.

    And I was ashamed of myself for that brief moment when I hoped they weren’t going to sit next to me. It wasn’t because they were black, it was because they really did look like thugs. I will NEVER MAKE ASSUMPTIONS LIKE THAT AGAIN.

    • Dept. of Space Tacos

      that’s pretty cool! I bet it was a fun experience.

      I’ve found recently that at the corner store everyday that some of the biggest, baddest, “gangsta dressed” tattooed dudes turn out to be polite and friendly.

      I’ve noticed people, in public, put up a shell – but it’s often a very thin one. Just chatting or even making a joke or saying “good day” breaks through it.

      • Angela Ruzzo

        I like to challenge people’s public “shields”, particularly on elevators. Have you noticed that if several people get in an elevator, they all stand carefully spaced apart, and they stare at the numbers over the doors fixedly, and they never look at or talk to the other people in the elevator? They act like they are alone, and the other people are invisible. When I am in this situation I like to wait a few seconds, then say something really funny. Everyone gets a startled look on their face, and you can see them thinking “Oh, wow! Are we allowed to TALK on an elevator??? That’s a new concept!” and then they nearly always laugh at what I said, and then they start talking to each other. I’ve been doing this for 40 years and it is endlessly entertaining.

        • teele

          My husband always gets a reaction from bored retail clerks, who monotonously ask “how are you today?” as they start checking you out, staring down at the items you are purchasing. Spouse smiles big and replies “SUPER-FAAAN-TASTIC!”, and it always startles them into looking up, always followed by smiling or chuckling. Their traditional parting “have a nice day” always has a usually-missing sincerity accompanied by a big grin.

      • HellhathnofuryDemme

        NYC is sorta like that.

    • ImGoingBacon

      Spill it, are they well known today? Do you remember their name(s)?

      • Angela Ruzzo

        Sadly, I do not remember their names. I wrote it down but lost that piece of paper in Hurricane Katrina. All I remember is that they were from St. Louis, and had been playing together for several years, and this event occurred in August 2001.

    • Dept. of Space Tacos

      oh and speaking of clothes, since I’ve been going to the soon-to-be-a-job and by virtue of dressing “professionally” a lot more people at the corner store open the door for me, let me go first, or call me sir.
      I even see women smiling at me for no reason in public, at the courthouse, or at school

      It’s weird.

      • AnnieGetYerFun

        Stay away from the women! They are nothing but trouble!

        • Dept. of Space Tacos

          gurl, I been staying away from them for 10 years! I’d llke to get close to one again, ya know, sexy times close.

          ; p

          • AnnieGetYerFun

            I hear from men’s rights activists that they just want to get pregnant so’s they can get all your moneez!

            Personally, this didn’t work out for me as it turns out my baby daddy didn’t have any money. But still.

        • An Outhouse for the résistance

          Gold diggers, the lot of them.

      • alpacapunchbowl

        Never underestimate the power of lawyer drag! Even my good friends, when they see me dressed the part, are like “whoa!”

        • Dept. of Space Tacos

          ; D

          Lawyer drag, Is that what it’s called? I;ve been calling the monkey suits.

          • alpacapunchbowl

            Nah, that’s just what I call it. Since drag is performative and all, and I’m more than just a lawyer.

          • grindstone

            “High office drag” is my version, from Kinky Friedman’s reference to his on-stage clothes as “high rodeo drag”.

        • SweetDeeKat

          I love court days because I usually wear 3+ inch heels with the suit. It’s fun to look down on smug little men.

          • alpacapunchbowl

            I do that too! I had to downgrade from 4-inchers because they fucked up my feet. And I’m 5’11 barefoot to begin with. Subtle intimidation is so delicious, isn’t it?

          • Celtic_Gnome

            I find it so amusing when tall people are intimidated by taller people. Trump and O’Reilly evidently do that. I’m 5’2″. Everyone’s taller than me, so I don’t even notice.

          • alpacapunchbowl

            Well, when a man (or woman) is profoundly insecure…

      • Angela Ruzzo

        It’s not weird, it’s related to respect. When people are nicely and/or professionally dressed, other people respond with respectful behavior. When I worked in sales 40 years ago, they told us to “Fake It ‘Til You Make It” and they meant “If you act successful, you will become successful”, and successful people dress professionally. They also taught us that if you want to become a manager, then start acting and dressing like one, which will impress your bosses. I followed these lessons for 40 years, and they really do work.

    • alpacapunchbowl
    • An Outhouse for the résistance

      I was hoping you were going to say it was the Neville Brothers.

      • Angela Ruzzo

        That does not ring a bell, sorry. This happened in August 2001, so maybe you can research them, but I don’t follow rap music so I am clueless. I do remember they had Mohawk haircuts, and they said they were from St. Louis. The lead musician bore a strong resemblance to a younger, slightly slimmer Mr. T.

        I know a lot of people who would have asked to be reseated, but I figured “Well, this is going to be an interesting experience, and at least it won’t be a boring flight.” I was right. It’s amazing what happens when you smile at people and say “Hello!”

    • HellhathnofuryDemme

      My brothers are very intimidating looking, tall, (6’5″ and 6’10”), and eccentric.
      (They will say or do anything to embarrass their sister in public.)
      Back in the day, they worked in a nursing home.
      All the folks that thought they were so “scary” did not realize that they tenderly cared for little old ladies, (that they adored), all day.
      I can never judge a book by it’s cover.

  • Mega dittos nostalgic upfists for the use of the phrase:

    “Go Krogering”

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/82c820188515f58cc2f54c69fbd3c0cb6f9a9ee0fadf8ae618962cba8c831cf2.jpg

    • MynameisBlarney

      I got Krogered once.

      Once.

      • CafeenMan

        I work in a place where there is a tv on the other side of the wall. I can hear it but can’t see it.

        We had three or four movies and nothing else so I had those movies completely memorized.

        One of them was Johnny Dangerously. Another was one of the Hardball movies.

        I took it upon myself to buy out a walmart $1.00 dvd rack just to hear anything different. OK, I bought maybe 10 DVDs, not the whole bin. :)

  • Liz

    In addition to the racism here, I think Trump is also manhood-shaming the owners, who are “afraid” to stand up to their indentured servants; he’s implying that the owners are both pussies and wusses.

  • MynameisBlarney

    You just KNOW something awesome happened right after this pic was taken.

    https://i.imgur.com/hIQjEDE.png

  • Nockular cavity

    NASCAR is good and patriotic and American

    And they always respect the flag. (Seriously, go check out the whole thread.)
    https://twitter.com/IamShaneMorris/status/912740609559023616

  • Saxo the Grammarian

    What the news story doesn’t say is that while Trump was saying that the NFL owner are askeerd of their black sportsballers, he was blinking in Morse Code with his eyes “I am terrified of the colored people”.

  • stumpknocker

    General Honere has called trump out and his pussy ass ain’t tweeting back, but to be fair, you bow up against General Honere, expect to draw back a nub.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_PZtwhk8vsI&t=154s

    • Bill D. Burger

      Loved General Honoré his morning on NBC: “I can’t tell you how frustrating it is to hear administration officials say, ‘We’re in discussions with the military.’ Discussions? Hell, we’re here to carry out a mission. Give us the orders and we’ll get it done. I guarantee you the navy, the air force and the army and marines are jumping up and down wanting to be given the orders to go in and help those American citizens. We have the resources. We have the men. Give us the mission. This is ridiculous.”

      • OutOfOrbit

        first the OPOS will have to make “A Big Announcement” so his idiot base believes USA!TRUMPH!MAGA!

      • Nockular cavity

        “We are in discussions about taking that hill.”

        • disqus_lWwzrwNaw6

          That hill should have been taken years ago! Why didn’t Obama take that hill? McCain never took a hill! Believe me, I’m gonna take that hill, and when I take that hill, America’s gonna say thank God for Trump.

          That’s what I call myself, Trump, because I do branding. Branding is what I do. Branding, and hill-taking.

      • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

        Trump is the epitome of leadershit.

    • Dept. of Space Tacos

      best not to mess with a general who’s last name has honor in it.

    • grindstone

      “bow up”….can I ask you where you grew up? I don’t hear that very often.

  • Mr. Blobfish

    Millions of kids grow up wanting to be sports stars. No one grows up wanting to be Donald Trump.

    • Bub, the cynical zombie

      Well, maybe some nematodes…a naked mole rat possibly, if you want to talk vertebrates.

      • alpacapunchbowl

        Nematode libelzzzzzz

    • The Wanderer

      Montana Max (am I giving away my age?).

      • theblackdog

        Yeah but I don’t remember Montana Max trying to build a wall to keep
        Go-Go out of Acme Acres.

  • The Wanderer

    True story: Two of the HBCUs down here in Florida, Florida A+M and Bethune-Cookman, play a rivalry feetball game every fall (it’s called the Florida Classic). A black coworker dared me to go, joking that I’d be the only white man there. He was mistaken, of course, but I allow for hyperbole at times.
    I had a wonderful time. No one appeared to be interested in stereotyping or skin color or anything apart from having a great barbecue and watching the game. A+M beat BCU’s ass, by the way.
    I’m walking (“Walking?! UP OBT!?! You must be insane!” was what I got from some coworkers the next day) back to my hotel and a black guy gets in my way. I think, “Okay, traffic’s moving slowly enough I can just step into the street if he wants to fight, and there’s a cop on practically every street corner. So, let’s see what’s up,” and ask him what’s up.
    He said that he was taking part in a video scavenger hunt, and needed a video of a white man dancing. We both started laughing at that, and I demurred, saying that I needed a lot more alcohol in me before I could dance. We parted company, and that was that.

    • President in Exile Firefly

      Now that’s racial transcendence.

      • The Wanderer

        I started going every year. I was wandering around outside the stadium before the game one year and saw a group of white kids, Bible-bashers, who were talking about how nice slavery had been. Such was the general level of bonhomie that they were simply ignored.

    • YoBunnyBunny

      Did the marching bands put on a good half-time show?

      I’m not much of a feetball watcher, but I think the HBCUs by far have the most entertaining games. The battling bands and dance teams are like another competition within a competition. And everybody wins!

      I’ve been to one NFL game, and the entertainment provided by the cheerleaders was totally forgettable. Which is sad because they probably only got paid enough to cover gas money, and some asshole threw beer can from the stands and hit one of them in the head.

  • Spurning Beer

    Afraid of football players? He’s scared of fucking birds.

    • KnaveOfSwords

      And stairs.

      Possibly also written words.

      • MynameisBlarney

        And women that don’t take any shit from him.

        • alpacapunchbowl

          That’s a common phobia, in my experience. While I normally don’t take pleasure in the suffering of others, this one amuses me no end.

          • marxalot

            “You say you don’t like weak women/ you get bored so quick/ And you don’t like strong women cause/ they’re hip to your tricks”
            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RTef-VeJLY8

          • alpacapunchbowl

            Joni! 💖

          • Lance Thrustwell

            Good rekkid. (She’s nekkid on the inside).

        • KnaveOfSwords

          Well, they might bleed from their where-evers at him.

  • Mr. Blobfish
    • The Wanderer

      SAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-LUTE!

    • CafeenMan

      Sorry, hate implants.

    • BrianW

      Technically, it’s a violation of the flag code…..

  • DeceasedWest

    Do gay men, as they’re violently penetrating their “husbands,” resulting in an explosive full body orgasm culminating in the ejaculation of gallons of HIV infected semen into their colons, realize how disgusting their lifestyle is?

    • The Wanderer

      Turgid! My BITCH! Is that you, for real?

      • CripesAmighty

        Never thought it’d be refreshing to see ol’ TLM, but given recent events…

        • The Wanderer

          He’s like the Phantom Dictator of Krankor – a breath of fresh air.

          • CripesAmighty

            Or the mangy cat who upturns the trash, but you keep that stash of Fancy Feast…

        • puredog

          Kinda brings a tear to my eye. At least, I think that’s a tear.

    • Lance Thrustwell

      Turgid! Long time no hear {and shudder in revulsion}. You come out yet?

    • stumpknocker

      no, but i know a pathetic cry for attention when i see one.

    • MynameisBlarney

      TLM!

    • puredog

      TLM, you misspelled “fascinating,” le mot juste in your case.

    • marxalot

      Yes, it’s what allows them to achieve such explosive, voluminious, and deeply satisfying orgasms. How you been, Love Muscle? Still damp of palm and weak of will?

    • Lance Thrustwell

      You know, that particular troll-comment is a little… I don’t know, too obviously over the top? I know it’s in your classic style, but I think you’ve gotta hold back just a touch.

    • Jennaratrix

      • DeceasedWest

        You fed me, no?

        • The Wanderer

          It’s great to hear from you again, you little sausage grappler. How’s your wife and my kids?

        • Lance Thrustwell

          We always do, TLM. For a little while. But you’ve never had enough variety in your comments to warrant sustained attention. I always hope for artistic growth!

    • Professor Fate

      Gallons? Gallons? I’d ask what the heck is wrong with you but well it’s obvious from space.

    • Nockular cavity

      Gurl, turn it down a little!

    • Look at how turned on you are by the thought.

    • Daniel

      They probably have other things on their minds.

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      I have explosive full body orgasms when looking at large systems of partial differential equations. That’s why I don’t wear pants while doing that.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      yawn

      blocked

      (don’t make Dok’s job harder by replying to this idjit)

    • doktorzoom

      Gosh, Turgid, it’s been a while. See you next month. Bye!

  • Dept. of Space Tacos

    OT: There has GOT to be a better way to do socks. 9 socks, none of which match each other.

    (I know, first world problems).

  • AJ Milne

    ‘… One of the saddest things in the world is watching old white racists show everybody what pussies they really are, and thinking everybody secretly agrees with them…’

    ‘… Revising: you have a point, Evan. There’s _one_ thing more pathetic than an aging hipster.’

    — Dr. Evil, probably.

  • Panika MCD

    they’re certainly afraid of their players quitting and starting their own league. you don’t have a team, you don’t have ratings. they also kind of like how people think their players are role models. remember how they don’t like it when people try to tell their fans where to pee? what did Tsarina Short Fingers think they would do when he told them all what postures to take and when?

  • Roadstergal

    “We imagine Trump really is afraid of black people, especially black men.”

    Especially competent, beloved black presidents.

  • President in Exile Firefly

    Saaaaay, you know who else was afraid of his employees?

    • Three Finger Salute

      Reagan, of air traffic controllers?

    • BadKitty904

      Howard Hughes?

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        just their germs

    • The Wanderer

      Henry Morton Stanley?

      • Skwerl the Nazi Puncher

        Bingo.

        • The Wanderer

          (grins) Bula Matari never won many Boss of the Year trophies.

    • Jgb979

      Donald Trump probably

      After filing bankruptcy paperwork yet again.

      I’m sure there’s more than a few “connected guys” pretty pissed the Donald found a way to bankrupt a casino

      • georgiaburning

        I’m sure they got paid. Donald is still walking around.

      • Weird Fishes

        Putin and his gang of fellow “businessman investors” may not be as forgiving, however.

    • Nockular cavity

      Mistah Kurtz?

    • JustDon’tSayKneel(OrNeil)

      Stalin?

      • JustDon’tSayKneel(OrNeil)

        I love this game

    • FlownΩver

      Hitler – with good reason?

  • Kooolest G

    yes the NFL owners are scared of the black men on their teams, not scared they’re going to beat them up, scared they’re going to stay home next sunday and cost the owners a shit ton of revenue

    • Skwerl the Nazi Puncher

      Bidness id bidness.

  • Mr. Blobfish

    Since we need to be whipped up into a patriotic frenzy to watch a sporting event, why should this apply to daily life if so important? Why not sing the anthem when we get out of bed? Before every meeting? Before having lunch? Every hour on the hour at McDonalds? Who’s with me?

    • marxalot

      Okay, but instead of the anthem, we do “Alice’s Restaurant.”

    • The Wanderer

      Just for lulz, I played a recording of the National Anthem at work at 11 PM before we locked down the clientele. I received a grievance in which I was told to “Turn that Communist shit off,” and one customer responded in his own inimitable fashion by jumping up on a table, grabbing his crotch with his left hand, and giving the Nazi salute with the right.

      • Lance Thrustwell

        “Lock down the clientele?”… You work in a dungeon! That sounds like fun.

        • The Wanderer

          Not really. The dungeon-like area shut down for good back in 2000, but we lock down at 11 PM for beddie-byes.

          • Lance Thrustwell

            Ah.

    • alpacapunchbowl
      • Candy Matson Y-28209

        …but that homoerotic volleyball scene tho

        • alpacapunchbowl

          Inorite? Both inadvertently (I assume) hilarious and titillating.

      • Lance Thrustwell

        You are Sailing the Seas of Cheese.

        • alpacapunchbowl

          Primus could work too!

          • BearDeLaOursistance

            Donnie Darksoul is definitely trying to be our Electric Uncle Sam.

          • BearDeLaOursistance

            Jesus. It came up on shuffle on my phone right after that comment. Prithee, what eldritch powers HAVE ye Wonkers?!?

    • Spurning Beer

      Henceforth, the following is to be sung to the tune of The Star Spangled Banner:

      ♬ Donald Trump, Donald Trump,
      Donald Trump, Donald Trump,
      What so proudly we hailed,
      Donald Trump, Donald J. Trump.

      Donald Trump, Donald Trump,
      Donald Trump, Donald Trump,
      Donald Trump, Donald Trump,
      Donald Trump, Donald J. Trump.

      And the Donald J. Trump,
      Donald Trump, Donald Trump,
      Gave proof through the night,
      Donald Trump, Donald Trump.

      Oh say does that star-spangled motherfucking Donald Trump,
      Donald Trump, Donald Trump,
      Donald Trump, Donald Trump! ♫

      • Mike Steele

        I’m the ghost of Francis Scott Key and I approve this message…provided you go back to the old version when he’s gone, amirite?

      • theblackdog

        Oh god it’s like Anvilania all over again!

        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZgqcmzMTtY0

    • The Wanderer

      How about something rousing?

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vAZbMjuM3dI

      • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

        Some things don’t quite translate between cultures, those folks are some kind of excited!

    • BadKitty904

      This is my alarm clock ring-tone:

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yeqso4CX2f4

    • An Outhouse for the résistance

      I drink heavily to get whipped up into a frenzy to watch a sporting event. I try to apply this to daily life also too.

  • georgiaburning

    From former CIA director, Gen. Michael Hayden-
    http://thehill.com/opinion/white-house/352419-michael-hayden-in-trump-versus-nfl-standing-up-for-free-speech
    some spooks have your back on this, Kap

    • The Wanderer

      I have revised my estimation of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew a bit higher.

  • cmd resistor
  • Internet Hitler

    OT sorta. Today Trump attends a celebration for the National Security Council’s 70th anniversary. Awwwwk-waaaarrd when you’re auguster than the august institution celebrating another year while so many security agents are sniffing out your treason truffles.

  • Zippy W Pinhead
    • Tiffany de Houston

      Love that guy!

      • SDGeoff3

        I’m joining my sister and her friends tonight to see him. Yee-haa! We lurrve him.

    • Magyar Has Had It Up To Here

      Hawt!

  • Mavenmaven

    And of course, Trump doesn’t cares much for them Pordorikans either, who are just as scary!

  • Weird Fishes

    Poor Donnie Snowflake. He gets the meatsweats when he watches Melania side-eye some random guy on 5th Ave; sits on his gold-plated thunderbox and weeps quiet tears over all of the Jared-fear email porn imagining Ivanka…

  • Jenny

    Kroger is the worst! HEB 4 LIFE!

    • JustDon’tSayKneel(OrNeil)

      Butt Butt Butt….

    • renegade500

      HEB! HEB! HEB!

      (Also, Publix, since I’m originally from Miami, and Publix is even better than HEB if you can imagine that. Trust me. Would I lie to a fellow Texan?)

      • Magyar Has Had It Up To Here

        WInn Dixie is the bomb!

        • renegade500

          Winn Dixie wishes it were half the store Publix is. Oh wait, it is. ;-)

          #grocerywars

        • BearDeLaOursistance

          It’s also a statement of Trumpian philosophy!

      • theblackdog

        Would be nice to know but HEB probably won’t ever allow Publix to get near them, especially in the San Antonio area ;-)

        • renegade500

          If Publix ever made it into HEB territory, it really would be #grocerywars.

          When I moved to Austin from Miami, I was sad, because I was losing Publix. But when I discovered HEB, I quickly got over the sad.

      • whyieverdidit
        • renegade500

          Sweet.

  • Red Bird

    All this fuss because black people date to demand the same treatment as other human beings.

    Also too I’m getting tired of the comments about how privileged the sportsballers are because they’re ALLOWED to play sports for money. It is not a privilege if they have to train their whole life, play for free for 4 years and then accept a contract contingent on daily performance. I’m upset because what the privilege comment is really saying is that the players should be thankful they aren’t worse.
    White Americans really are a bunch of racist sociopaths. :(

    • An Outhouse for the résistance

      Plus the pay they get for a few years is supposed to last them their whole lives.

    • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

      Yes, exactly! It’s even worse: racists not only condone police murder of black people, but think black people shouldn’t even have the right to protest. And yes, all this “privilege” bullshit is total code for “they should be slaves.” It is horrifying to me to see the abyssal levels of crude racism still prevalent in so many people. And perhaps some of them were coming around to seeing it differently, but Trump deliberately re-stoked it, and now is pouring gasoline on the fire, and ONLY to try to pump up his pathetic, weak, flaccid ego.

    • Roadstergal

      This is the most responsible goddamed thing a person of privilege can do. Call attention to the plight of people without privilege by using the attention their privilege affords them. You know, like Trump doesn’t do with his fucking privilege.

    • Occam’s 8 ball

      Because athletes demonstrate their skills publicly in a mostly fairly adjudicated arena, pro-sports are more like a true meritocracy than any other occupation. I tell my weaselly white friends that for the sake of their grandchildren, they should pray that affirmative action becomes law. You go Tiger, Serena, et al.

    • MrTusks

      Any job that can set you up for life after 5 to 10 years of professional work is a rather significant privilege. This is not to discount their perspective, but come on.

      • Jennaratrix

        I’ll give you that, but the point is this privilege was EARNED; unlike some people who got all their money and status from daddy and haven’t done a day’s hard labor in their lives. No one is allowing people to play sports; they work their asses off to get there, and the minute they aren’t performing (i.e., making the team owners a fuckton of money), they’re gone.

      • Gussie Jives

        Uhhhh… Derek Boogaard might have some words on that notion.

      • Nasty Girl Brianna

        Being a professional sports athlete is not just “any job”, comrade.

        • MrTusks

          I know we use the “P” word as a pejorative around here a lot, but there is still such a thing as an earned privilege. NFL players have undoubtedly earned their positions, but they still get to work out for a living, have people listen when they talk, and retire at 35. That’s privilege. Someone else said below that the real issue with privilege is what people do with it. Standing up for what is right on national TV and driving a conversation about injustice is a good use of privilege.

          • agorabum

            They don’t “get to retire” at 35, they get fired. And the average career of an NFL player is 4 years and leaves them with a lifetime of injuries.

    • Gussie Jives

      What really galls me is this attitude that North American society (read: white society) has graciously permitted them to have this millions of dollars to play sportsball, ignoring the widespread racism that kept black athletes out of the major leagues and the fact that athletes used to be paid peanuts for what they did until the players unionized. It’s this patronizing “Ugh, we let some of you people do this thing that gives you untold wealth, but you’re still complaining about ‘fair treatment’? We didn’t have to give you people all that money; you should be grateful to us white folk that in our infinite mercy, we let some of you people entertain us for money. So just shut up and play sportsball!”

      It’s the Dixie Chicks all over again.

      • Courser_Resistance

        I think that’s the whole thing that’s always bothered me about professional sports. You’re basically asking an athlete to hone his body, only to break it on the field for the entertainment of millions of fans. Once an athlete is broken and worn down, he’s out like yesterdays fish. CTE has raised the stakes tremendously and I’ve been pleased to see a few young players decide to opt out.

        • Gussie Jives

          Exactly. For a lot of these guys, I gotta wonder if it’s like the military: it’s all they’ve really got. Just from the Canadian perspective, a reading of Roch Carrier’s The Hockey Sweater gives you a sense of how important hockey was to small-town community life, particularly for kids. I can only imagine what it was like for Johnny Bower growing up penniless in Depression-era Prince Albert, Saskatchewan… hockey was pretty much all he had to take pride in.

          • Invisible Bunyip

            I suspect for a lot of them football is the way to get into university. Sports scholarship or nothing, with the amount of money required.

          • Gussie Jives

            Bingo. It’s their way out of the limited options they have.

            The prohibitive cost of university in the States has to be rectified. I’m still gobsmacked by the fees my cousins attending Cornell have to pay. My engineering courses at the University of Toronto were $8000 Canadian dollars a year and that was the expensive program.

      • BearDeLaOursistance

        On the upside, the subsidies keep us from wasting our tax dollars on schools or hospitals.

  • CripesAmighty

    Heard on npr a Chicago player invited the fans to ‘take a knee’ @ 2nites game. If it works, bedshit for the ages.

    • Courser_Resistance

      Oh, I’m staying tuned for that!

  • sgt. jmk of the résistance
    • JustDon’tSayKneel(OrNeil)

      Peak? Oh, I think we can find new levels.

    • Marla

      Funny how Trump’s story has changed. First, it was all about “disrespecting the flag” and when he knew that wasn’t going to work, he pulls the bullshit “black men are dangerous” card. He’s just an mentally ill racist cocksucker and that’s all he ever will be.

      • Roadstergal

        It’s all building up into one big racist narrative. It’s the blah players who don’t respect the flag, and the owners are too scared to make those ‘boys’ obey their ‘betters.’ Pretty soon it’s going to be all about how their fear of these un-American blahs will prevent them from protecting the white wimminz.

        • Gussie Jives

          Ten bucks has Trump calling them “Dindus” before the week is out.

      • Magyar Has Had It Up To Here

        Cocksucker Libel!!!!!

    • Cornelius Fussbudget

      Racial fear and hatred are not just avocations for Trump. They’re money-making strategies. When Fred used to take a young Donald out to collect rent checks, he was taught to stand to the side of the door after knocking, in case the renter shot a gun through the door. Once you presume someone is out to get you, it’s a short leap to preemptively mistreat them. It just happens that in Trump’s case, that mistreatment was reinforced by a profit motive.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      Hey Sarge, how you doin’? I was thinking about you.

      • sgt. jmk of the résistance

        Oh, thank you!! I’m doing OK… uneven is probably a good description. In his obsessive quest to not be a burden, El Dad made the whole business end of this as easy as he possibly could, but there’s still an awful lot of calling people and closing accounts and telling them why and promising certified copies of the death certificate to them, which really can wear you down.

        I do a few hours of that and I have to go sit quietly in a corner and try not to cry… not always successfully (on the plus side, I have conclusively determined that my beloved really is waterproof). Thankfully, the Syfy channel has made the full series of Battlestar Galactica (the one with Edward James Olmos) available, so I’ve been binging on that to recover some sanity.

        We’re all heading down to Florida next week to clean out the condo and, on Saturday, have a memorial service for him and then install his ashes (and the ashes of his cats, who predeceased him) in the vault with his third and best wife.

        It’s weird – I’m pretty sure I’ll feel like a guest there because he basically arranged the memorial service right down to the catering so that we wouldn’t have to make too many decisions. The guy was awesome.

        • alwayspunkindrublic

          I’m glad you’re coping. It’s hard, and it takes a long time. My dad was a human wrecking ball and a profound failure as a human being, yet when a parent dies-even if he/she was only a parent in the most basic biological sense- everything comes home to roost. Thank God your dad was cut from better cloth. It’s amazing how much he thought through this…shit, I can’t even organize one day in my life that well. That’s remarkably considerate and self-aware. I hope he picked a good caterer!

          It’s great that you have a good (waterproof) man who’s caring and present. Not that you wouldn’t make it through without him or anything, but an empathetic soul nearby to mop up the spillage and extend loving arms is worth more than gold. Hang in there. Don’t be a stranger!

          • sgt. jmk of the résistance

            Thanks! I am starting to make my way back to my online life… for a while, it was just too difficult and I was too exhausted emotionally to do more than upfist and retweet stuff on Twitter, but it’s getting a little easier now.

            He very definitely wanted to make things easier. When my grandmother passed away, her things were in such a muddle that it took him years to sort it out – he was still finding significant stuff like stocks on the NY state unclaimed property listing 20 years after she died. Between that and the emotional difficulty he had making the arrangements when his third-and-best wife passed away, he was adamant that he leave us with the minimum mess and effort possible after he died. All we had to do for his memorial was pick the colors for the flowers and organize the music. His care showed even in the business end – wherever possible, he named us as beneficiaries for accounts and policies, and almost nothing but his condo has to be managed through the probate process. Even his car was a lease that just has to go back to the dealership. For a guy who was a total slob when it came to stuff like housekeeping, it was extraordinary, but the HR lady at his job said that he was incredibly organized and clear when it came to commissions and such, also too. Maybe that was the one way his BS Econ manifested itself.

            Fittingly, we’ll be at his memorial when his Gators play my lovely LSU Tigers… we loved to watch that game together, long distance, every year, and would spend hours on the phone trash talking and analyzing as it happened. I’m kind of grateful I’ll be so busy that day, and won’t have to stare that difference in the face until next year.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            I totally get what you’re saying. One’s online presence, as closely as it may hew to who you are in real life, is still something of a persona that we assume. When real life demands our full attention, maintaining that persona seems like one of the least important things on the list. I think it speaks well of you that you are much more firmly engaged in real life-in both the good and the bad of it-than life on the interwebs…which can be fun, but is really just a cheap substitute for the real thing.

            I’ve noticed your Tigers are struggling of late. Being a committed sports fan means guaranteed heartache at some point. The University of Arizona basketball team has become embroiled in scandal; they’re huge here, and for some people, it really almost defines their lives. I used to be a fairly rabid fan…I still follow them, but I’ve backed off in recent years in large part because college basketball at the elite level is SO unutterably corrupt. I’m pretty unsentimental about the current scandal; I’m SO sick of people cheating to win. If any or all of the coaches are guilty, fuck ’em. I hope they go to prison, and if that’s the end of the basketball program here, so be it.

            Hope the trip to FLA for the memorial is peaceful and brings you a step closer to healing.

  • TootsStansbury

    What is it with this asshole and “ratings”? Too bad no one will show him his own.

    • TundraGrifter

      If the Trump Administration was a television series it would have been cancelled by now.

  • magistralatina

    If their dicks are getting shot off in Kroger, it’s because they and their ‘open carry’ buddies don’t know how to handle weapons:
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/0d9bee6430d55b765be240e51c11f25ff81515f66bd8f499c63d0368b4c00d7c.jpg

    • renegade500

      Jeebus, that gun is point right at that little boy and no one seems particularly concerned. Like, what’s so fucking scary about swiss cheese and roast beef that you need to take a gun with you to the deli counter?

      • Daniel

        Some of that meat might be halal.

        • renegade500

          That sounds like furr-in meet.

      • Roadstergal

        Cheese is dangerously close to real culture. You should see them in the yogurt aisle.

        • renegade500

          Bazinga!

      • MrTusks

        To protect from the blahs, none of whom he has ever seen in person because he lives in Buttfuck, Kansas.

        • amrak63

          You misspelled “cousin” as “butt”. ;)

      • Grokenstein

        “Aw, don’t be such a got-damn f*****, I got th’ safety o–“

  • Ezio

    “Why can’t they respect our country and stand for the national anthem!?” Asked the white man who probably sits on his ass eating potato chips in underwear when the national anthem is played on TV every Sunday.

  • Skwerl the Nazi Puncher
    • Antonin Dvorak

      Is Ben secretly 8 years old? This is painfully unfunny.

      • MrTusks

        To his credit, I actually understand this one. It’s just fucking stupid.

      • Gussie Jives

        “Pinky-9ers! Get it? Cuz they’re gay homosexuals! I so funny!”

        • RocketManCaptainHowdy

          San Francisco, get it?

          • Gussie Jives

            “Where all teh gheyz are! ROFL!”

          • BearDeLaOursistance

            Connie Francis LIED to me?!?!?

          • SDGeoff3

            Hun, she lied to us all.

        • BearDeLaOursistance

          He could at least have been more “adult” about it and called them the 69ers. ‘Course, the resulting mental images would risk turning shit Much Too Real for him.

      • amrak63

        8-year-olds libelz!

      • BlissfulScribbler

        He’s got to keep it simple for his audience of socially-dysfunctional and intellectually-stunted 14-year-old Reddit/4chan users.

    • MrTusks

      Ben’s going after someone else for having tantrums?

    • Gussie Jives

      I’m sure Ben lives a fascinating life….

      • Bitter Scribe

        I’m sure he’d have no problem going up to a guy from one of those teams and showing him that cartoon.

        • Gussie Jives

          No doubt. No doubt whatsoever.

          These really are a gateway into his psyche, aren’t they? A single gesture of “resistance” and suddenly hulking pro-football players are everything he despises, including “snowflakes”, transgender and… communists?!

          • BearDeLaOursistance

            Roy Cohn closet case on line 1!!!

      • Canis Greyhame

        He managed to graduate with a degree in art, without learning much of anything about the humanities.

        • Or art

        • BlissfulScribbler

          If I were one of that dude’s art professors, I would have given him passing grades just to make sure the fucker was gone next semester.

          Also, sad as it is, plenty of talented artists, actors, and musicians these days are still getting by while being complete and total asshats. An unregulated capitalist society is bound to be plagued by superficiality.

        • Gussie Jives

          From Trump University? O.o

    • mancityRed6

      and then he makes fun of concussions, too.
      even John Holmes would look at him and say, “what a dick!”

    • clairence

      There are only two things the players are actually depicted as saying in that comic (equality and black lives matter). Is it possible to make a more racially tinged comic without swastikas and white hoods?

      • theblackdog

        Don’t let Ben hear that because I’m sure he’ll find a way

      • Swampgas_Man

        He through in a bunch of gay-bashing too, you’ll notice. Love to see him say that to their faces.

        • BearDeLaOursistance

          Christ, yes. For just one example, Esera Tuaolo, even ten years past his playing days, is an absolute mountain. I once turned around at a bar without knowing he was behind me, and my brain sent out that reptilian intimidation response even though there was no actual sign of conflict. At my size, that happens, like, once a decade… but these guys are from another planet entirely. I don’t think the falangist douche-zombies of right-wing punditry even realize how many orders of magnitude stand between them and an NFL bear fap inducer player…

    • Tiffany de Houston

      What a jerk!

      • Nasty Girl Brianna

        “Piece of shit” is more aligned with the truth.

    • Nasty Girl Brianna

      Ben Garrison. The kind of asshole that other assholes look at and say “Now there goes a real asshole.”.

    • Grokenstein

      Oh my goodness, look how angry and scary all them there knee-grows look!! Even the one sittin’ down is maddoggin’! The whites, on the other hand, are all “sissies.” That one’s even afraid of a little harmless brain injury!!

      Gotta admit the miserable shitbiscuit knows his propaganda techniques.

      I’ll have to remember that “Indianapolis Ingrates” player the next time Republicans are squalling about how rich businessmen pay too much in taxes or livable wages. …Oh, wait, they never stop doing that.

    • Canis Greyhame

      Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar …
      https://i.ytimg.com/vi/gXw21MjWvbY/hqdefault.jpg

    • Dang. He sucks so much at drawing. I mean really, it is pathetic. Ben, dude, take some fucking classes

  • Bitter Scribe

    If NFL owners are so scared of their players, how come they’ve locked them out seven times since 1968? How come NFL contracts are the shittiest of all major sports, where you can get dumped with no salary if you get injured badly enough (unless you have a “guaranteed income” clause in your contract, and you need to be a big star before you can expect that)? How come the league, presumably at the behest of the owners, denied and dragged their feet on concussion protocols to a degree that makes Big Tobacco look like models of scientific probity on lung cancer?

    This guy knows no more about football than he does about anything else. He owned a football team and did the same thing with it that he’s done with everything he’s owned: Run it into the ground (in this case, the league along with it) and blame everyone else but himself. Now he’s doing that to the entire country. Fuck every goober who voted for him.

    • Mehmeisterjr

      To be fair, there is one thing that he hasn’t quite run into the ground.

      Yet.

      His collusion with Putin.

  • HellhathnofuryDemme

    Good God, this orange piece of shit is exhausting!

    • Charon_69

      That’s part of the plan…

  • Courser_Resistance

    JFC, I can’t believe this shit. I’m a white lady who grew up in the mostly-white burbs. You know those young, black ‘tough guys’ just hangin’ out? I walk like I always walk, head up and with purpose, smile and say, ‘Hi, guys’ as I pass. Or Good morning or whatever seems right. To a one, they’ve always been respectful to me and even polite. Granted, I probably look like a grandma-lady, but I haven’t always. Even when I was younger, no ugly cat-calls or anything. I can’t say the same of white men of any age.

    These days, I’d probably feel safer in a huddle with ‘scary-looking’ black men than in a group of white men. No lie. My own guy-buddies aren’t perfect (who is?) but they respect me. Other white men, not so much.

    • LadyLaz

      We have a bunch of young black kids from the local college working for us. Nice guys all. And some are first rate sharp. Just like white guys. Funny huh?

    • No particular reason, but I like to remind folk that during the Baltimore Riots, the friggin “gang” guys were protecting the journalists from the police.

  • Jack Had A Permit

    “Grab ’em by the tRump!”

  • eyelashviper
  • Royal Ugly Globalist Dude

    Huh. I thought I was seeing more bullet holes in the day-old bread on the Kroger woohoo special rack lately.

    • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

      Here in Atlanta, we had a Kroger called “Murder Kroger” because murder. They have torn it down for redevelopment. They have tried renaming the site. It’ll never work.
      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jHbziqRdNC8

      • amrak63

        This is the first time I’ve ever heard this song. Favorited!

  • LadyLaz

    Just remember the NFL kicked the USFL to high heaven when a certain owner in the USFL encouraged the rest of the league to go against the NFL head to head.

    Yet another brilliant decision Trump

    • sosuume

      He actually won his anti-trust lawsuit against the NFL — but the jury awarded him only $1.00. Everybody hates tRump.

      • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

        And he never did cash that check. True fact.

        • Mehmeisterjr

          And so deprived his fellow owners/suckers of a dime or two off their multi-million dollar losses?

          How typically Donald.

    • John Oliphant

      I personally believe that is the reason why the Dotard is raging against the nfl. they wouldnt let him join, so he has to tear it all down. What’s the matter Beavis?

  • Donna Mueller

    the NFL knew the dumpster for what he is- a lyin’ sack!! dallas said NO! buffalo said NO!! funny that, even billionaire NFL owners have given poor dumpie the wind. his own kind want nothing to do with him.

    • You realize this makes the NFL smarter than the American Electorate at large.

      • mfp, all 6s&7s&9s

        that’s really depressing–but true…and again, i console myself with ‘she got 3million more votes’

  • I would like to take this opportunity to tell everyone who told me “Trump isn’t racist! Stop calling him that” to eat a big extra slice of crow right now.
    Yum yum!

    • amrak63

      Oh, come on.

      You actually expect the members and supporters of the Party Of Personal Responsibility (For Other Persons) to take some personal responsibility themselves?

      https://i.imgur.com/RaMVAEs.gif

    • TimResistit

      Or rancid, diseased squid dick.

      Or crow. Crow is ok, too I guess.

      • amrak63

        Rancid Squid Dick were the most underrated punk band of the mid-90s.

        Alas, one day they all made a snack run to Murder Kroger…

    • amrak63
    • Sakonyachen

      A big slice of Jim Crowe!

  • Lee Hillhouse

    I have yet to understand why the righties would consider a forced display of allegiance, meaningful. It baffles me.

    Also, I understand more than you might think, how the athletes feel. I am a second generation atheist and when I was little we had to recite The Lord’s Prayer, in my Texas hick country school. If we even looked restless we could get licks….whipped. Do you think it made me believe in god? It made me fear and loathe Christianity, even more than I already did.

    Forced displays do not look patriotic. They look fascistic. …

    • Old town Urbandale

      They’re not wanting the blahs to perform a forced display of allegiance as much as they want to assert their power over the uppity n… and force them to stop taking a knee. You know. It’s payback for all that butthurt they had from having a blah President for eight years.

  • jellysblues

    In Atlanta, we miss our Murder Kroger.

    • Ωbjectifier

      Out west we got Manslaughter Safeways.

  • SomeBigRedDog

    So I completely support NFL players protesting. That’s not in question. But I’ve kind of always been grossed out by people being entertained by a bunch of guys trying to give each other brain damage and if the whole organization ceased to exist I wouldn’t be that upset. That’s my unpopular opinion for the day.

    • Mehmeisterjr

      Trump was whining about their not concussing each other enough before he got on his National Anthem jag.

      I’m against playing the National Anthem, really any national anthem, at any sporting even because it’s just a damn sporting event. It’s not a WW2 Bond Drive Rally.

      It’s like playing “My Old Kentucky Home” at the Kentucky Derby.

      Is that supposed to encourage the horses?

    • mfp, all 6s&7s&9s

      it’s not THAT unpopular

      • SomeBigRedDog

        This opinion is one of my go to’s when I want to cause an uncomfortable silence at Thanksgiving dinner.

        • JohnC44

          Not a bad technique. I should have tried that before circling around the table screaming gibberish while menacingly waving a baseball bat.

          I might have at least gotten a card for the holidays.

        • mfp, all 6s&7s&9s

          that’ll do it

    • A Bisexual Unicorn

      Totally agree with you. I will only watch football if it’s played with robots.

    • Sakonyachen

      I don’t think your opinion is that unpopular. It’s just that the fans are rabid, so it’s not always easy to say out loud. I stopped watching when quarterbacks like Vic(I know), Culpepper and the like would run with the ball for yards instead of losing yards to avoid a sack. They called them wildcats or some shit. Because it wouldn’t have set well to call them Black Quarterbacks. It was obvious they resented these guys showing up the old standard of a barely above average sized white guy behind five cornfed guys of multiple hues, and a bunch of black dudes running like Carl Lewis until they scored and made the white guy look good. If this shit was going on back then they would have cancelled the Super Bowl.

    • dshwa

      I stopped watching after the last concussion settlement allowed the NFL to keep burying their data.

    • Bangkok Taxi

      Kind of enjoy rugby more myself. More manly.

  • Mehmeisterjr

    True fact: No NFL owner is even remotely a friend of Donald Trump.

    Example, even Jerry Jones is not remotely a friend of Donald Trump.

    Some of the owners are among the biggest assholes in the universe and they still despise Donald Trump.

    Even owners who supported Trump are jumping this ship, having realized that he is festering, spiraling boil of hatred and failure.

    They especially despise his attempt to dragoon their successful businesses into a oblivion just because Putin think it would be a good idea.

    I’m not saying they are angels on the face of the earth but it is no wonder they are supporting their players and coaches.

    They are in business. And not with Russia.

    • Jukesgrrl

      Yes, it’s quite clear the owners don’t want to be near Trump. They blocked his effort to buy the Buffalo Bills as recently as 2014. (Probably knew he couldn’t afford it.) Of course seven of them each gave him a cool million for his campaign. But they probably would have contributed that to any Republican because … Hillary. We know she can’t even decide if she’s a Cubs or Yankees fan. In any case they aren’t afraid of big men of color. Patriot’s owner Robert Kraft wasn’t even afraid of having a private meeting with Aaron Hernandez after he was being investigated for the killing of Odin Lloyd. Kraft testified in court about the second time they met, “He hugged and kissed me and thanked me for my concern,” Kraft said.

      • Bangkok Taxi

        With that in mind, won’t it irritate Dotard Mc Fucknuts, if Obama buys an NBA team?

  • mfp, all 6s&7s&9s

    yaknow, i kinda like this ‘owners afraid of their employees having power’ concept…if only there was some kind of mechanism to make this happen in all workplaces, instead of just the ones where the employees make shit-tons of money and can afford the best legal representation….

  • John Oliphant

    Did anyone see what Sarah Hunkastank said today? http://crooksandliars.com/2017/09/huckabee-sanders-whitesplains-nfl-culture. “I don’t think there is much to clarify,” Sarah snapped. “It’s pretty black and white.” Finally she spoke truth to the masses.

  • TanzbodenKoenig

    Long time Memphian and not a first time caller here Evan. I must admit I just moved across the Fayette county line to Oakland but not because of “those people” but mainly because the apartments in this city are garbage and I could get twice the house in Fayette vs. Shelby and my 2 yr old needs approximately 20 acres of running room. I sitll have to listen to Ben Ferguson mince on AM radio all the time about the “city council” and “thugs” so it still feels like home

  • Sheryl Macy

    Dendrophiliac
    (n.) one who is aroused by trees; one who humps treesmartin is such a dendrophiliac. i saw him fcking a tree in the park today.
    Thank you “Urban dictionary”

  • Jukesgrrl

    If the billionaire owners are afraid of big black men they could just stop buying them.

    • OrG

      Or sell the team.

  • Posonby Britt
  • You can gauge how scared the Ol’ Pussy Grabber is of Mueller’s deep, long, hard probing of his dumb ass by the level of vitriol and spit-spewing squealing spunk ejaculated from his chubby stubbies and loose fleshy orifice. Given the near frenzy of fallacious foul feces left around the social media and other airwaves of late by the Ol’ Pussy Grabber, I’d say, he’s pretty darn close to cooked.

    • Rose McFrog

      Yep, the meat is falling off the bones!

  • Bangkok Taxi

    “Trump has many friends”
    That’s funny. Poor poor rich guys. Like him
    a rich guy, 7 time bankruptcy queen, a guy with the skills to take a water front property casino and drive it into the ground, who is now up to his a** in extortionate Russian money because no American banker would touch him.
    But, I suppose his base, poor guys who for the time being are just embarrassed millionaires, experiencing a temporary downturn of fortunes, this issue really resonates. Too much PC regulation, keepin whitey down. Forced to kow tow to those lazy black guys who they have to act respectful towards because of the race card.
    Good white players are hard to come by, such that they are forced to indulge the inferior black players.
    Obama is busy makin bank giving talk to Wall Streeters and joining with other POTUS calling for aid to hurricane victims.

    Fear the black man, he is coming after your daughter. Fear the gay man, he’s coming after your a**
    Did I miss anything?

    • David Hollenshead

      Yes, fear the Muslims as they view Jesus as a Prophet,
      fear the Socialists for they may want a NHS,
      fear the Native Americans for they might open a competing casino.

  • blaid droog

    I can name one nfl owner that isn’t trumps friend, even though he gave trumps inauguration a million bucks. The man I’m talking about is a nasty Pakistani Muslim with more money than trump and bigger hands. His name is KHAN!!!

  • Toledo Window Box

    Some of Trump’s biggest friends are blacks. He loves the big blacks. Believe him.

  • UnsaltedSinner
  • David Hollenshead

    It must really be dick envy, as Führer Trump’s hands are so small…….

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