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The three and a half million American citizens who live in Puerto Rico — don’t know if you knew that, but turns out that yes! — are without electricity; many are also without water, homes and hospitals. Hurricane Maria’s devastation of the island is, in the words of the locals, “apocalyptic.” As of last night, four days after Maria struck, “a handful” of the American territory’s municipalities had made contact with San Juan, the capital. But never fear! According to Huffington Post reporter Jennifer Bendery, who spoke with senior aides on Capitol Hill, Congress is ready to get the ball rolling on sending aid to Puerto Rico once the Trump administration asks them to, in what they expect will be just one to three weeks.

Donald Trump, who is, against all reason and common decency, the president of America, has tweeted about the mean black men who hate America 17 times since Saturday night. (Foosball is THE DEVIL!) He has tweeted about Puerto Rico twice, five and six days ago.

We will indeed be there to help. In October maybe.

Hillary Clinton, Shadow President, pulled out her own Twitter last night, but instead of using it to tell American companies which employees they should fire (the black ones, obvs), she used it to remind President Propecia’s Side Effects Include Mood Swings Mental Fog Anxiety Erectile Dysfunction And Funky Spunk (Just Saying) that he has rather a lot of assets — no, not his billions of dollars that may or may not exist, the US NAVY — should he care to deploy them.

The Department of Defense has sent six Navy helicopters and three Marine Osprey planes capable of search and rescue and damage assessments. The Coast Guard, National Guard, and FEMA are also on the scene. And yet, apparently, there is even more aid needed! Puerto Rico Governor Ricardo Rossello

did not criticize President Donald Trump personally and praised promises of help the president made before the hurricane, as well as the response of the Federal Emergency Management Agency. Still, the island awaits a federal disaster declaration for 24 out of its 78 municipalities.

Good luck, Governor. The president seems a bit distracted right now.

[Politico]

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  • Parakeetist

    Send the Navy now, or the motherfucker should be immediately impeached for failure to do his duty.

  • msanthropesmr

    Why should we help foreigners?

    • Creepoman

      Puerto Rico’s full of Mexicans, right?

    • SnarkON

      BUILD THE WALL

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    WH expected to send disaster aid request to Congress in 1st/2nd week of Oct for Puerto Rico. That gets ball rolling.

    So the MLB playoffs will start before we help out. Glad that sportsballers are more organized than TrumpPenceZees FFS…

    • msanthropesmr

      My underarm bacteria is more organized.

      • SisterArtemis

        lolz….
        Actually, I’ve always assumed bacteria is a very organized…er…organism. Just seems like the kind of the thing infinitesimal critters would be good at.

  • Joe Beese
  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Be careful, our hearts are with you- will be there to help!

    So Donald warned Puerto Ricans to watch out, because he will do something? That might be one of the most honest things he’s said since becoming POTUS FFS.

    • SnarkON

      “Thoughts and prayers!”

    • SisterArtemis

      good catch, Callyson

  • WotsAllThisThen

    Be patient. It’s going to take a few weeks to determine if the residents all stand for the national anthem.

    • Creepoman

      I have a feeling this is how the loyalty sorting will begin. Waiting for my company to play the SBB every morning to see who genuflects.

      • Arolpin

        Damn, I might have to polish the old resume if that happens. I’m sure I can find some foreign company to work for. I know my previous employer has bought a Canadian division, but I’m sure that their CEO is a Drumpfista, and that’s not the worst thing about them.

      • PubOption

        Swiss Railways?

        • Creepoman

          Good catch – should be SSB, but if there’s an opening at Swiss Railways . . .

  • Panika MCD

    he hasn’t even managed to make the disaster declaration? it takes about 6 months for HUD CDBG-DR grants to come through. what are they supposed to do? play baseball while they wait?

    • mancityRed6

      they aren’t really ‘Murican though
      (dripping with snark)

      • Panika MCD

        Hispmurkan can?

        • mancityRed6

          only if the taco trucks are legion.

          • Panika MCD

            you may take my life, but you will never take my taco trucks!

          • mancityRed6

            sharing is caring

    • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

      Airport’s still closed. So he can’t sell more hats. Until he can sell more hats, he don’t care.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Still, the island awaits a federal disaster declaration for 24 out of its 78 municipalities.

    WTF are Donald & Co waiting for? The engraved invitation? The blood of the first born sons of Puerto Ricans? Hell to freeze over?

    • Panika MCD

      to be fair: he never got around to declaring all 57 TX counties experiencing fallout from Harvey in his declaration. (wondering how FL is doing also too.)

      • Dudleydidwrong

        SSDH. Same shit, different hurricane.

        • Panika MCD

          pretty much.

    • therblig

      post season playoffs?

    • Creepoman

      We need to cut health care for 30 million first, then tax cuts for 0.1%, then we can talk water-logged Hispanics.

    • God Emperor Emeritus

      My guess? For them to ‘In Murcia, speak English!’

      • Oblios_Cap

        Actually, most of them do.

    • Dudleydidwrong

      Deleted Trump tweet:
      Losers! Losers! If they were real Americans they would be connected to the Real America by highways and you wouldn’t have to get on a boat to get there. Besides, brown and speak funny.

    • wide_stance_hubby

      Puerto Rico really needs to get on board with the NFL bashing if they want his attention.

    • YoBunnyBunny

      Waiting for the engraved invitation?

      Probably. And when is somebody gonna turn on the lights in here, huh!???!!

    • Serai 1

      They don’t care. It’s as simple as that. I wonder when that’s going to get through to everyone. They simply WILL NOT be decent human beings. It’s not going to change. Every disaster will result in a shrug and a bunch of distracting bullshit. They simply DO. NOT. CARE.

      • willi0000000

        Sir Pterry said “Individuals aren’t naturally paid-up members of the human race, except biologically.”

    • Cornelius Fussbudget

      Puerto Rico probably didn’t spend enough at Mar-a-Lago.

    • Amy!

      He doesn’t own any property in PR.

  • SnarkON

    It is really only a matter of time before the lovely people on that lovely island begin to kill and eat each other, for real. They aren’t going to get that antiquated power grid back online for months.

    • clubseal

      I thought their country was already abysmally poor before this happened. But hey, why worry about that when we can build a wall along our southern border to keep out people who look like Puerto Ricans?

      • Courser_Resistance

        It either just did or is going to declare bankruptcy. The energy grid there was in horrible disrepair BEFORE the hurricanes. Long power outages were common. Now the grid is pretty much destroyed. At this point, though no one has said so, they’d be better off starting from scratch, including solar and wind. But look how that worked out for Flint, so….

        ETA: What WIDTAP says above. Puerto Rico is a US Territory and its citizens are US Citizens.

        • clubseal

          Yes, I realize that. Their cantaloupe-sized calves confused me.

      • WIDTAP

        “their country” is the United States. Puerto Rico is a unincorporated US Territory. But a wall along the northern border of Florida should do it.

        • richardgrabman

          That’s going to stop the flights from San Juan to JFK?

          • WIDTAP

            If you build it high enough.

      • Serai 1

        Whoa, you need to go back to school and catch up on what you missed the day they taught geography. And history. And anything about the US.

        • clubseal

          Yes, I called it a “country.” No need to be a fuckwit about it.

    • Creepoman

      Trump will take immediate action and add them to his list of banned countries.

  • therblig

    my mind was blown in pit band when i saw my first mixed meter. ay-yi-yi!

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/5f3547aee4c0927a9e2dc0566c3110d00402e2ab272cbc1def8d64c17d53ad11.gif

    • Creepoman

      I do not see what you did there . . .

    • Lance Thrustwell

      It doesn’t have to be notated like that, does it? Why not just put an eighth rest in between each note in the second bar and make them eighths instead of quarters?

      • msanthropesmr

        It’s the accents that drive the meter.

        • Lance Thrustwell

          The hell you say!

          (I’m a rock & roll guy. Such subtleties might be beyond me).

          • msanthropesmr

            Look at the accents in the first measure.
            I want to be in A
            All equally accented
            Me ric a
            Also all accented –
            So the first has 6 accents – hence 6/8
            And the second has 3 accents
            3/4

          • aureolaborealis

            My dumb-ass take, which probably wasn’t what was going on, because this was written for pros: Easier on the musician to think about thirds in the first measure than in the second.

          • guest1331now

            Needn’t be — the Dead do lots of unstuck time stuff

    • FlownΩver

      Bernstein and Brubeck, helping us become unstuck in time.

    • Beanz&Berryz

      And that’s what I referred to to discuss triplets with the Little Miss Bz&Bz

    • Gee, Your Hair Smells Horrific

      Fuck it, just improvise.

    • aureolaborealis

      That whole musical is a beast for the trumpet section.
      >> Yeah, if you could just sit there for ten minutes doing nothing, then come in on E above high C, and if you could hold that for, like, 20 measures, and also play quietly … that would be great. — Leonard Motherfucking Bernstein, probably <<

      I think there might have even been a couple of double-Cs written in there. We, the trumpet players in the amateur pit orchestra, were all, "Yeah. No." I did manage that E, though. Alcohol helped.

  • memzilla Ω

    It’s time for brujas to gather and whip up some orange-flavored Santeria spells.

  • writersbloc

    Guys, he already did 1 and half hurricanes, and this one doesn’t vote republican.

    • God Emperor Emeritus

      Prezniting is HARD gusy!

      • Daniel

        They expect you to think about, like, three things! On the same day sometimes!

  • Asterix

    If you are blessed with Democrat Reps and Senators as I am, email and call and generally harass the shit out of them to get a real military response to PR and USVI. There is no point in talking to Dems about healthcare, they can’t do anything. They can raise hell, money and motivation on the hurricane Maria disaster.

    • Noonie

      I have Fucking Ted Cruz as my Senator 🙄 I still frequently email him anyways.

  • UncleTravelingMatt

    Fake news! If a hurricane had struck Harding Park, someone would have told him the housekeeping staff was late.

  • Anna Rompage

    “Puerto Rico? Why isn’t that one of those Mexican countries that filled with rapists and drug smugglers?”

    D J Trump…

  • SisterArtemis

    So, maybe we could just let Rita Moreno loose on Cheeto Benito? I’d LOVE to see her (or pretty much any character she ever played) give him a piece of her mind.

    Also, perhaps my favorite scene in that movie.

    • Courser_Resistance

      Ms. Moreno may be an older lady now, but last I saw her on something she was still kickin’ ass and takin’ names, lol. Incredible talent.

      • SisterArtemis

        I loved her since I was 7 or 8 years old. Last time I saw her was when she, Carole King, Cicely Tyson and some asshole (really, he acted like a bored teenager) named Stephen King were the recipients at the 38th Kennedy Center Honors (2015). That’s a really great show all around, and Aretha’s ending performance had me in grateful tears. Amazing.

        • WIDTAP
          • SisterArtemis

            Oh, that was excellent! Electric Company came on a little after my time, but always excellent. I think Morgan Freeman was working hard not to crack up.

          • Shanzgood

            I loved that show as a kid. And Zoom.

          • SisterArtemis

            I still get an earworm once in a while, out of nowhere…. “We’re gonna zoom zoom zoom-zoom zooooooom, we’re gonna zooma zooma zooma zoooooom!

          • Serai 1

            Morgan Freeman was actually going through a very bad time when he was on the EC. Drinking problems stemming from feeling like he was never going to get anywhere and would always be stuck doing kiddie shows. It made me sad when I read that, because Easy Reader helped me through school when all the other kids made fun of me for wanting to read books at recess instead of running around like a maniac. (I’ve always wanted to thank him for that.)

          • SisterArtemis

            Write him. I bet he’d appreciate hearing from you.

        • Courser_Resistance

          She also played D’Onofrio’s mentally ill mom on Law & Order:Criminal Intent. I wasn’t a big fan of the show (caught it on cable) but her performance was captivating.

          • SisterArtemis

            I forgot about that.. thanks for the reminder. Another excellent performance, you are right.

    • Three Finger Salute

      HEY YOU GUYS!!!!!!!

      Rita played the voice of Carmen Sandiego in the 1990s animated series. I’d like to see Carmen go white-hat bandida and rob from Donnie’s ill-gotten wealth to give to the poor.

      • SisterArtemis

        I did not know that. That’s TWICE today Wonkette commenters have been edumacational!

  • Scooby

    Trump called but didn’t hear press 1 for English, so he hung up.

  • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

    The USS Abraham Lincoln is in the Gulf right now assisting with Irma relief, and can probably be retasked to the higher-priority situation since they have a significant medical facility aboard ship. The USNS Comfort is based at Naval Station Norfolk and can be there in 3-4 days if she gets underway. Maybe SECDEF should take the “ask forgiveness rather than seek permission” route.

    • Beanz&Berryz

      These details make me even sadder that nothing is happening….

    • Asterix

      If we had a SecNav, he could assign a task force. But the odds of that person having any more balls than Mattis are probably zero.

      • Courser_Resistance

        Where’s Leroy Jethro Gibbs when you need him?

        • Stulexington

          Retired and in no mood to put up with this shit.

        • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

          “Jethro’s a great field agent, a great team leader, and he deals more efficiently with difficult politicians than I do.”
          “Then why isn’t he the…”
          “He shoots them.”

          • Courser_Resistance

            I could live with that and I suspect, so could he.

  • jesuswasablack

    Puerto Rico, don’t sound merican to me, sounds like a place full of Ricans?
    https://www.thesun.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2017/09/nintchdbpict000354937652.jpg?strip=all&w=960

    • God Emperor Emeritus

      It would probably be a lot different if they really were ricos.

      • SisterArtemis

        Google dictionary tells me Ricos are “rich, wealthy, and delicious.” Did not know that. Wonkette and Google team together to be Edumacational!

  • Mr. Blobfish

    Have the victims of Hurricane Harvey received Trump’s donation yet?

  • Weird Fishes

    Is it possible to charge a sitting President with criminal negligence?

    • SisterArtemis

      I keep wondering if there’s some way a rather large group of us can bring a class action suit of some kind against him and his administration. Probably not something that can happen in Legal Land, but a girl can dream….

      • Creepoman

        I keep wondering if enough republicans in congress can remember the oath they swore on a fucking bible/koran/torah and impeach the incompetent egomaniac.

        • Serai 1

          Not until they’ve looted every single cent they can carry off.

    • SeeTrain65
      • Weird Fishes

        Thank you, thank you very much.

      • Noonie

        So that’s how ponies applaud! I should’ve figured.

  • Viktor

    “Will be there to help, but selfish flag hating football holding me up”
    “Stay safe. And boycott football”

  • Oblios_Cap

    Trump’s getting revenge on them Puerto Ricans for shooting up Congress in 1954. He doesn’t ever forgive a slight.

    • Persistent Tennessee Rain

      His grudges always are about himself.

      Trump golf club in Puerto Rico files for bankruptcy

      “The club has been in default on its obligations to Trump for months due to the company’s financial constraints and a difficult business climate in Puerto Rico, Eric Trump said.

      The golf resort, which has hosted the Puerto Rico Open tournament, filed for bankruptcy protection as Coco Beach Golf & Country Club. It also filed a motion to sell its assets, according to the property’s attorney Charles Cuprill. He said the company has at least one interested buyer.”

      https://www.cnbc.com/2015/07/13/trump-golf-club-in-puerto-rico-files-for-bankruptcy.html

  • Jeffocaster in the West

    Puerto Rican anthem

    I like to be an American
    Preznit like pee in America
    Footballers take knee in America
    No help for me in America.

    • msanthropesmr

      I’m not embarrassed of you today.

  • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

    1-3 weeks? A whole lotta people gonna die in 1-3 days if someone doesn’t get a rocket up their ass and get going.

    • Joe Beese

      INSULIN NEEDS REFRIGERATION

  • Oblios_Cap

    I’m surprised that President Pussygrabber hasn’t made a mad dash to the Virgin Islands yet. They got hit pretty badly, too.

  • TheGrandWazoo2

    Trump has been trying to dodge anything with RICO in it his entire life.

    • Bub, the cynical zombie

      Nicely done! 8.5/10

      • FlownΩver

        Russian judge says 0.5.

        • BarbaraPBradbury

          Google is paying 97$ per hour,with weekly payouts.You can also avail this.
          On tuesday I got a brand new Land Rover Range Rover from having earned $11752 this last four weeks..with-out any doubt it’s the most-comfortable job I have ever done .. It sounds unbelievable but you wont forgive yourself if you don’t check it
          !sz262d:
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  • Martini Ambassador 🍸

    What, the people of PR got a tweet, and maybe even some thoughts and prayers. What more could they possibly want?

    • mackafritz

      Prayers and thoughts!

    • wide_stance_hubby

      As if they didn’t have enough trouble, they now have Dolt 45’s thoughts on the island?

    • Noonie

      Trump is the Joel Osteen of Hurricane Maria.

  • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef
  • Baconzgood

    But it’s football season. Couldn’t they have waited till February to get hit by a hurricane. Fucking foreigners.

    • Oblios_Cap

      Maybe we can sneak them in during a bye week.

  • President in Exile Firefly

    “Isn’t this Spains problem anyway?” DJT

    • Daniel

      You think he knows that much history?

      • President in Exile Firefly

        No, probably not…

  • You say your home is being destroyed by ferocious winds as your neighborhood is drowning in torrential floods?

    BE SAFE! BE CAREFUL!

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/c7f256cd332d6338b895ec2e9149924d1b266d16bd8d8e44d135684293069710.jpg

  • whitroth

    Tell me why the FUCK this asshole hasn’t dispatched a carrier battle group to Puerto Rico, where the carrier’s nuclear plant could probably immediately power hospitals and the government, who can then get started dealing with things.

    Oh, becuase KNEELING!

    Folks, what we need is for some of you – I assume there are Wonketteers out there – are into NASCAR, and we need protests at NASCAR events, and then we need to find him saying something bad about BBQ, say, dissing Texas bbq in one of the Carolinas, and dissing Carolina bbq (east and west) in Texas, and publicize it.

    Forget impeachment, his base will not just desert him, but tar & feather him….

    • georgiaburning

      Had he said anything about beans in chili? That will split his base

      • or his pants

      • whitroth

        Well, I learned how to make Real Chili from my late wife, a native Texan (and possibly even a Texian, she wasn’t sure): some beans, ok, but *nothing* other than pintos

  • Anna Rompage

    I bet if you asked Trump to point ot Puerto Rico on a map, he’d likely point to Tijuana…

    • RocketManCaptainHowdy

      He can find Mexico?

      • or a map

        • RocketManCaptainHowdy

          “They have pictures that show where things are! Can you believe it? Nobody ever knew that!”

        • Smibo

          I don’t think he could find the planet Earth, on a globe

      • Anna Rompage

        It’s right below Iran, and just to the west of North Korea, isn’t it?

        The axles of evils…

    • Bill D. Burger
    • Boscoe

      I’d bet money he thinks it’s part of Cuba.

    • Three Finger Salute

      No, that’s Sessions who’s trying to jail people who smoke Tijuana.

    • richardgrabman

      True story. I worked in grad school for a nation-wide security firm, where my job was writing follow reports on actual break-ins. One of the monitors consistently had the time of the break-in off by several hours. When I asked her where she was getting the time, she pointed to the clock set to Pacific time, assuming all Spanish speaking places were south of San Dieto. American education struck again.

  • Scooby

    Trump has confused Puerto Rico with Marco Rubio.

    • Crank Tango

      Well, they are both really thirsty right about now.

  • Crank Tango

    Oh I’m sure he will tweet out his support eventually… http://www.abc.net.au/news/image/7390728-1×1-700×700.jpg

  • Monsieur_Grumpe

    tRump is probably seeing this as a good time to buy some cheap land in Puerto Rico.

    • Three Finger Salute

      “When they buy low we sell high” -Dump

  • Randy Riddle

    Obviously, if they’d bought more MAGA hats they’d be getting more attention.

  • Gee, Your Hair Smells Horrific

    Well, the good news for Trump is that everyone will forget Puerto Rico as soon as this Nuclear fuck tussle with North Korea finally explodes.
    Sorry–“good news.”

  • Wild Cat

    Send Weiner there. Send Sarandon. Send Amy Goodman. Send Jill Stein. Send Ralph Nader. Send the fucking NYT. Send CBS. Send Team Purity. Send Zuckerberg, that Orwellian shit. Send the fucking white-power! Pittsburgh Penguins.

    They’re all excellent food sources (with votes).

    • Three Finger Salute

      Better yet, the Bermuda Triangle (cannibalism causes dain bramage). Also too, send the whole media-tittytainment complex altogether, including the tech companies. Dump exists because the camera gets “really big ratings” by focusing on him. Send CNN, Fox, Twitter, Facebook, Google, Yahoo, Microsoft, Apple, the movie studios, the sporting leagues and just pretty much flush all of them down the drain. Make America Read Books Again.

    • Raan

      I’d rather send ramen and MREs. More nutritious.

      • Shanzgood

        Ugh! Ramen is garbage!

        • Serai 1

          Not when you’re fucking out of food and there’s nothing else to be found.

          • Roadstergal

            It was pretty damn tasty when I was poor.

          • Arolpin

            And if you can afford to buy a couple tins of dehydrated veggies, and a decent spice kit, you can make some serious ramen. Especially if you have some chicken or something left over to add. Not that I ever ate enough ramen to determine that Smack Raman Hot-n-Spicy flavor is the best ramen ever or anything.

          • Serai 1

            I got no problems with ramen, either! You just shouldn’t eat it every day.

        • SisterArtemis

          Yes and no. It’s certainly got many of us through a few hard weeks, months or years. And, I found, much more palatable if you add veggies, any kind, frozen or fresh. It’s not great, but it fills the gut.

          • Shanzgood

            It completely empties mine. Violently and within about 15-20 minutes of eating it.

          • SisterArtemis

            Well, that would not be good at ALL. Definitely a downer in the trying-to-get full part. Then again, you’re not missing much other than occasional salty goodness, and that you can get LOTS of places.

          • Shanzgood

            I’ve read lots of bad things about the noodles themselves. But for me, it’s the MSG-laced “flavor” packet that does it. Flushing, sweating, heart palpitations, shaking. It’s pretty awful.

            My daughter (and the new temporary one) like it for a snack but I try to make sure they have other, more nutritious things on hand. Tortillas and refried beans are cheap, too, and at least they’re getting some protein.

          • SisterArtemis

            torts and beans, and usually cheese, are my go-to food.

          • Shanzgood

            In a protein emergency, I will eat peanut butter rolled up in a tortilla.

            New Girl tried to play at being vegan but I put my foot down. I’m vegetarian-friendly but I just can’t cut out eggs and cheese because THIS IS KANSAS OK?! If you want to call me “mom” and expect me to cook all yer food, yer gonna get eggs and/or cheese on yer plate at some point.

        • Martini Ambassador 🍸

          My whole year of post-college existence libelz!

      • Three Finger Salute

        MRAs, meanwhile, can be sent to the Bermuda Triangle along with everything else posted below.

    • Serai 1

      Weiner’s on his way to the slammer, so unfortunately he won’t be available.

  • JMP

    If the people of Puerto Rico wanted to get treated properly in a disaster like this, they should have tried being white and conservative!

    • Boscoe

      Bootstraps!

  • MasRioBravoHombre

    The protest have NOTHING to do with the military or the flag. That’s a lie that racists are telling to further their racist agenda against the NFL and NBA.

  • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

    His “staff” referred to Puerto Rico as PR. In Dolt’s mind “any PR is good PR” so he’s not going to do anything until he gets this other stuff off of his plate. MAGA!

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      So that made me shudder, because when I was a child “PR” was used as a derogatory to refer to Puerto Ricans.

      • Eileen Besse

        It still is.

      • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

        For me too.

  • kfreed

    Berniacs, do we need to reiterate ALL THE REASONS why this scheming pile of crap was the worst of all the evils?

    Jill Stein: “Trump Better Than Hillary”
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/9299b09097568afcec4409e91a7e6d51839f0299c03c117e3ccda14217b35bba.png

    https://www.c-span.org/video/?c4624738/jill-stein-trump-better-hillary

    Meanwhile, here’s Hillary Clinton:

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/ee57a78fcebaba7a8cff8bbe13b92c6323209691fb2f3827958aab1a93da2805.png

    https://www.dailykos.com/stories/1701304

    While Bernie’s peeps take this opportunity to protest Pelosi for attempting to save DACA:

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/c4e89aa5b1917ec816e737041cb26fe98ed512e176b5fea374146bdff1fa55f7.png

    Bernie’d peeps set up the “protest” against Pelosi for coning the Donald into (possibly) saving DACA. Here’s Bernie’s spokesmodel promoting the protest cia her Twitter feed (to the surprise and dismay of Dreamers):
    https://twitter.com/ErikaAndiola/status/909830885050023936
    Compare and contrast, assholes.

  • MynameisBlarney
    • Panika MCD

      what if he renames PR “UnAmerica”? there’s an Unalaska. why not?

      • MynameisBlarney

        And UnHawaii.

        • Panika MCD

          nah, Rush needs a place to have heart attacks.

    • Bub, the cynical zombie

      “Brown Americans. Big deal. Now stop bugging me, I have to tweet about what an uppity n****r LeBron James is.”

      • MasRioBravoHombre

        History books will record that Drumpf’s attack on LeBron James was one of the stupidest acts ever undertaken by a US President.

        • YoBunnyBunny

          Pfft! Trump’s competing with himself on that superlative. He’ll probably do something twice as stupid before Wednesday.

        • guest1331now

          Yeah, I hope that backfires — but ‘I prefer people who don’t get captured’ was pretty stupid too. Sorry, but in the context of things, telling Americans we were ‘winning’ in Vietnam, or could achieve ‘peace with honor’ with just a few more casualties, or that Iraq would be a short and easy war, were far stupider.

          However, playing bully-boy chicken with North Korea…

    • wide_stance_hubby

      Never heard of this ‘Lin’ woman. She should be fired.

      • Arolpin

        She’s probably Chinese too, and married to a Mexican.

    • Nockular cavity

      Anti-immigrants
      don’t get the job done

  • Panika MCD

    OT – Lumina‘s theme this year is “Resistance”

    I’m tempted to send poems about circuits.

    • NastyBossetti

      Do it.

      • Panika MCD

        I already had one of my few poems which would have fit that published about a decade ago…don’t want to make new ones.

      • Panika MCD

        okay, I’m down to a poem about the TSA, a poem about the VA Tech shooting (and mass shootings in general), a poem about CPCs kicking women out after they’ve had their babbies, and a poem about escaping the underworld. I have to kick one off the list.

        • NastyBossetti

          I was hoping you actually had several poems about circuits just laying around ready to go.

          • Panika MCD

            only a few.

    • SisterArtemis

      What’s a “lumina?”

      • Arolpin

        A crappy mid-sized Chevy from the 90s. Utterly forgettable.

      • Panika MCD

        lit mag out of Sarah Lawrence.

  • MasRioBravoHombre

    Drumpf’s attacks on the NFL and NBA are just him repeating ANOTHER Foxtitute lie. Any time Fox talks about players in the NFL or NBA, it’s to attack them as rich, spoiled n!ggers. Drumpf is incapable of original thought so YET AGAIN he repeats what the racist Foxtitutes say.

  • TheGrandWazoo2
    • guest1331now

      Struggling to read the words in the face of the troubling conscience that she does in fact have (hearing echoes of ‘woe unto you, hypocrites!’ in her bad dreams).

      • Courser_Resistance

        At least they’re dressing her more professionally. The Poor White Trash outfits she started out with were really awful.

        • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

          Someone realized no one would take her seriously if she looked like the lady complaining that the deli clerk shorted her 2 slices of turkey.

    • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

      The rich must have their money! Everyone else can go hang!

    • SeeTrain65

      “Two Mewls From Sister Sarah.”

  • gratuitous

    Oh, are you libruls still on about Puerto Rico? Dammit, there are really important things going on in this country that are far more pressing than whether or not 3 million people have any food, water, clothing, or shelter. Did you even know that some sportsball players are deliberately acting in a manner that offends President Trump? Did you? DID YOU?! Because they did, buckaroo. And how does the life-or-death struggle of American citizens stack up against that? Not very well, I’m here to tell you. So just knock it off, get with the program, and start paying attention to what’s actually important, for a change.

    I wonder if someone pointed out that the Rico in Puerto Rico means “rich,” whether President Trump would give a flying fuck then?

  • TJ Barke

    What, and help a bunch of island Mexicans?

  • Michael Smith

    Who knew having an incompetent populist right wing dictator in the oval office would have disastrous consequences for real people in the real world?

    • RocketManCaptainHowdy
      • Roadstergal

        If only you had voted with your brain, dipshit.

        • RocketManCaptainHowdy

          What did she vote with? I wonder . . .

        • Serai 1

          Who? Disqus has borked your reply, so I can’t see who you’re responding to.

          • RocketManCaptainHowdy

            Is in re La Sarandon.

          • Serai 1

            Jesus Christ, didn’t that bitch learn to SHUT THE FUCK UP after 10,000 Twitter followers piled on here the last time she opened her stupid yap?

          • Eileen Besse

            THIS.

          • Roadstergal

            Ms Sarandon boasting that she does not vote with her vagina.

          • Serai 1

            Ah, I’m not seeing that comment at all. Fucking Disqus! Who posted it?

      • NastyBossetti

        I mean, my vagina goes with me everywhere I go. So in a sense, I did vote with my vagina.

        • RocketManCaptainHowdy

          I probably voted with somebody’s vagina. Stands to reason.

      • Michael Smith

        Why did she think she needed to vote with her vagina to vote for Hillary Clinton? I’m pretty sure you just needed to fill out a card, or flip a switch or touch a button on a touchscreen. I mean, I don’t know what kind of district Ms. Sarandon lives in.

        • RocketManCaptainHowdy

          Maybe’s she’s just a freaky kind of gal.

        • NastyBossetti

          It’s one of those districts where you are required to get a transvaginal ultrasound before making ANY decision.

          • Riley Whodat Venable

            So Texas then.

      • RocketManCaptainHowdy

        So . . . she voted for Jill Stein? Or only voting for a Democrat is voting with your naughty bits?

      • Gee, Your Hair Smells Horrific

        I once saw a woman vote with her vagina in a cantina in Tiajuana. My buddies all laughed but I thought it was beautiful in a dark, poetic way.

      • SeeTrain65

        Maybe not. But you did vote like a dick.

  • MasRioBravoHombre

    It’s SOOOOOO CUTE that the Foxtitites and Huckabee Sanders want me to believe that DRUMPF IS NOT A RACIST!! THE J!GABOOS ARE THE RACISTS!!

  • guest1331now
  • House0fTheBlueLights

    Isn’t Puerto Rico one of the countries on the new-and-improved travel ban?

    • MasRioBravoHombre

      No. That’s Valenzuela.

      • WIDTAP

        They’re all papists, so….maybe?

        • RocketManCaptainHowdy

          Rapist, papist, tomayto, tomahto.

        • Michael Smith

          Well, somebody’s doing the paping!

      • Marsupial99

        Trump was no fan of the 1981 World Series.

      • Serai 1

        So, not a fan of La Bamba.

        • MasRioBravoHombre

          LOLOLOL! Wrong! Huge LOs Lobos fan. And…a huge Fernando Valenzuela fan.

          • TundraGrifter

            As I remember, the SF Giants beat him twice before any other team in the National League beat him once.

          • Serai 1

            Twitler is a Los Lobos fan? Will wonders never cease?

    • Boscoe

      Wait for it…

  • Bill D. Burger

    Putin blowing Dotard n’ Thief motherfucker obsesses on athletes while Puerto Rico dies.

    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DKlATcQXUAI8yi4.jpg

  • goonemeritus

    IF YOU LIBS HAD LET TRUMP BUILD HIS WALL AROUND PUERTO RICO THE HURACANE NEVER WOULD HAVE CAUSED ANY DAMAGE!!!!!1111!!!!!

  • Bill D. Burger
  • richardgrabman

    Cuba and Mexico both do much better jobs at disaster relief. The Cubans have an efficient system. Less so here in Mexico, but at least the disaster funds are flowing, not that we waited for them to start digging out after the latest disaster. What’s kind of fun to watch is the political parties falling all over themselves to outbid the other parties in earmarking their (federally funded) campaign money for disaster relief.

    • Three Finger Salute

      “Cuba and Mexico both do much better jobs at disaster relief. The Cubans have an efficient system.”

      COMMUNISTS! They’re worse than CANADA!

      • Oblios_Cap

        Those commies also have the best educational system of all the LAC. And better than America’s too, if I had to guess.

        • richardgrabman

          Much better, if you’re going by book-learnin’ skills tests.

          • Oblios_Cap

            Not to mention their early childhood education, which America kinda sucks at.

          • guest1331now

            And of course we won’t mention the better infant mortality rates, at least up till a few years ago, and universal access to pretty-good healthcare.

  • Skeptical_thinker

    Trump should suck live bees through a screen.

    It had to be said.

    • Three Finger Salute

      NOT THE BEEEEEEEES!

      • Panika MCD

        those poor bees. first pesticides, then herbicides and now spray tan?

      • foreign agitator Captain Kraut

        How about hornets?

        The bees will thank us and the hornets will probably enjoy the experience. Motherfuckin’ hornets.

    • RocketManCaptainHowdy

      He should do all of the things.

    • SeeTrain65

      The bees are suffering enough.

  • Panika MCD

    OT – dear Microsoft Word,

    the caesuras are there for a reason. quit fucking with them.

    • RocketManCaptainHowdy

      Remember the old days when we had machines that did what you wanted them to do?

      • Panika MCD

        are you saying that my magic typewriter is plotting against me?

        • RocketManCaptainHowdy

          If it’s part of a computer, yes.

        • MasRioBravoHombre

          I would gleefully torture whoever put spellcheck into computers.

          • george lastrapes

            I’d go even farther. I’d torcher them.

          • george lastrapes

            Just wondering. Does spellcheck help or hinder Wiccans in their appointed task of casting spells?

        • george lastrapes

          Inasmuch as it is attempting to home-school you, yes.

          • Panika MCD

            hah! not at home. checkmate, magic typewriter!

      • clubseal

        Is this a reference to life-like silicon dolls?

        • RocketManCaptainHowdy

          Could be, could be, say no more, a wink’s as good as a nudge to a blind man.

    • Serai 1

      So are capital letters.

      • Panika MCD

        they’re for proper nouns, the pronoun “I” and acronyms.

      • RocketManCaptainHowdy

        And line-spacing and indenting things they way you want them, because.

      • george lastrapes

        What would e e cummings say?

        • Arolpin

          Probably: let me out of this box im not dead help

    • Three Finger Salute

      Have you tried WordPerfect? For years it was the word processor of choice for law students. I would guess paralegals and those in training too.

      • Panika MCD

        yeah, does the same bullshit.

        • Three Finger Salute

          Oh. Sorry to hear that :(

      • TundraGrifter

        I worked at a bank where one of the officer’s last name was “Teh.” Every time we typed his name WordPerfect would change it to “The.” Why did Microsoft hate him so much?

        • Arolpin

          One of the terms I use in my work is OTU (Optical Transport Unit). EVERY time I type it in MS Word it auto-corrects to OUT, so I have to re-correct it. Of course if I just use WordPad, it accepts it. Why does Word hate optical transport?!

      • Beanz&Berryz

        WordPerfect was the standard at whole law firms, in the Old Dayz… when there were secretaries who knew what the different F# keys did…

      • SeeTrain65
    • TundraGrifter

      We have come to praise caesuras, not to bury them.

    • Beanz&Berryz

      Mom: So, Bz&Bz, what did you learn at work today?
      Bz&Bz: I learned about caesuras!
      Mom: That Julius one?
      Bz&Bz: No, the other onez

      • Panika MCD

        https://www.poetryfoundation.org/learn/glossary-terms/caesura

        I screwed up. the plural is “caesurae”. but that doesn’t excuse Microsoft Word for deleting mine.

        • Beanz&Berryz

          Here at the Wonk, sometimes, improper pluralization of Latin if knowingly done can be used for grammatical entertainment but might need explaining for the proletariae who miss the joke

          • Beanz&Berryz

            Or Discus deleting mine…

          • Yellerduck

            I do all my posts in either Latin or ancient Greek, and it all just gets corrected to middlin’ English with poor punctuation.

          • Beanz&Berryz

            Fecken Google Translate…

          • Eileen Besse

            Four years of Latin at Cath’lik school, and Mass in Latin before EVERY SINGLE DAY in grammar school….

          • foreign agitator Captain Kraut

            Great unwashed masses libelz!!1!

    • Johnatx

      Hey there. When, where to meet on Friday?

      • Panika MCD

        we could car pool?

      • Panika MCD

        or we could just meet out front and let each other know what we’re wearing…?

        • Johnatx

          I could drive. I’m in central Austin. My car can hold 3 in addition to me. What part of town you in? You could text me at 7133036994.

          • Panika MCD

            Got it?

          • Noonie

            You must be from Houston to have kept your 713 instead of having 512.

          • Johnatx

            Yep

  • richardgrabman
  • Robbertjan Brandenburg

    It’s only so much I can do but I have asked the Dutch navy to also send help to Puerto Rico:
    https://twitter.com/RJBrandenburg/status/912391308051968001

    • Three Finger Salute

      Every bit of help is appreciated Rob!

      • Robbertjan Brandenburg

        They are usually quite chatty so if they reply I will let you guys know but since they are already helping in Panama it might take them a while to get to PR.

        • Finnibar87

          I love the chatty Dutch!

    • The Wanderer

      We appreciate your efforts. Thank you.

  • WIDTAP

    Trump will find a way to make you miss the days of Bush and Katrina.

    • The Wanderer

      Yeah. Who would have ever fucking dreamed that Bush/Brownie’s fuckup would be considered a higher standard?

    • Roadstergal

      He’ll find a way for us to miss the days of smallpox.

    • Nockular cavity

      “Heck of a job, Donnie.”

  • richardgrabman

    Trump won’t lift a finger of his tiny little hand until he gets back his money: https://www.forbes.com/sites/chloesorvino/2017/03/20/puerto-rico-trump-bankruptcy-golf-course

  • guest1331now

    Yes. Puerto Rico is more important than trump’s twitter sharts. We tend to lose sight of contexts. I recommend Lynn Novick’s and Ken Burns’s The Vietnam War to bring in some perspective — like why nobody believes the government any more. Odd how so much of what was the ‘counterculture’ mistrust of govt. and ‘establishment’ has shifted to the right — only instead of questing for truth, ‘question authority’ functions now as a lot of LAME EXCUSES to keep being OBJECTIVELY STUPID

    • Oblios_Cap

      I watched the first 5 episodes on PBS yesterday. Good series.

      • guest1331now

        I was 12 in 1968 — my mother started telling me to be a conscientious objector around 1970, so it’s all touching memories and taking me back. Truth-telling, including managing to capture a lot of the FEEL of the times — the craziness that was flowing from Vietnam (where I was vicariously through news, still hate the sound of fucking helicopters) into the US. And the filmmaking is top-level — Burns’s best yet — interviewing, editing, soundtrack — all is really good. It’s something people who don’t remember that time need to see.

        • Oblios_Cap

          I was 10 and my father was in Long Bien in 69.

          • guest1331now

            head bowed

          • guest1331now
          • puredog

            Not entirely off-topic, American Masters did a special on Jimi Hendrix that can be steamed on the PBS website, and it’s kind of fantastic (though it ends a little abruptly, as did he).

      • Snark Tank Full of Resistance

        I got through about halfway of the second episode before I had to turn it off and stretch the viewing over a longer period of time. Binging it just makes me too upset.

        • Finnibar87

          I hear ya.

        • guest1331now

          Before I saw any of it, I got to talking with a man at work who it turned out was shot there (Nam) — really nice guy. I was thinking, back at my ‘desk’, how much of current American ‘things’ is rooted in the Vietnam experience — even when people don’t know where it comes from, a lot of it is still Vietnam. That and ‘teh coloreds’ … eeesh.

        • Eileen Besse

          We’re watching one a day. Himself served as an Air Force medic in Wiesbaden, Germany, by the luck of the draw, from 1969-1973. One a day is all we can handle. Too many friends, too many memories, too much anger.

          • Finnibar87

            I barely remember it being a Gen X type, but the impact is still intense.

          • HellhathnofuryDemme

            We lived on base in Baumholder and Kaiserslautern in the mid and late 60s, (I was born in 1959, and my parents were civilian teachers in a DOD program), and I’m surprised by the amount of info we didn’t have. It was all around me, but I must have been too young to really see it.
            This series is very painful.

          • Eileen Besse

            Yes, it is.

      • Johnatx

        Nope. Nope. Nope. Been there, did that.

      • puredog

        Wow. That’s some serious binge.

    • Finnibar87

      Watching it is making me infuriated by the sheer stupidity and destruction we waged in a tiny country whos politics were none of America’s damn business.

  • Flashman

    Puerto Rico: no Trump hotels, no electoral votes, full of Browns. Good freaking luck.

  • Christopher Story

    The problem is, they’re being ignored by design. Let everyone wollow in squaller for a while, offer them cheap relocation packages, and then the developers can come in, pick up the condemned properties for pennies on the dollar and start building more good awful gentrifying condominiums. Vulture capitalists wet dream.

  • Bub, the cynical zombie

    Remember the good old days? When the federal government responded to a terrible humanitarian crisis affecting millions of American citizens in a competent, compassionate, timely manner?

    Heckuva job, Brownie!

  • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist
  • Finnibar87

    Tony and Riff found themselves together again, but this time outside Gotham, and in the town of Twin Peaks.

  • TundraGrifter

    “With you” in, perhaps, some sort of methaphysical sense. Not “with you” like actually being there with no water, no power, precious little food, with a major dam about to break.

    • Boscoe

      “With you” in the same sense as “personally witnessed the devastation”.

      • guest1331now

        as ‘really care what happens to you’ vs ‘using you and your situation for a twitter op’

        • eastcoastlib

          If the Pentagon could just replace food with high explosives maybe trump would bomb them. He seems to enjoy that

      • TundraGrifter

        Like Bull O’Really?’s combat experience. Or seeing those nuns murdered down in El Salvador. Or risking his life in the LA riots. Or hearing the gunshot of a man killing himself in Florida – while ole Bull was in Texas.

  • elviouslyqueer

    “Sorry, Puerto Rico. Your crowds weren’t as big and excited as the ones in Corpus Christi. Sucks to be you.”

    -Cheetolini, today and everyday probably.

  • Persistent Tennessee Rain

    Oh, come the fuck on already. Haven’t we all had enough of this shit?

  • Michael R
    • Blackest Noobs

      funny yet nothing from Mr. West about Trump but then again they’re butt-buddies.

  • cmd resistor

    According to The Hill, Sarah says they are on top of it:
    “Sanders countered that the “federal response has been anything but slow,” saying the government has accelerated its life-saving and disaster response efforts.
    “The response has been at an unprecedented level and we’re supplying federal assistance as quickly as possible,” she said.”

    • Villago Delenda Est

      She’s lying.

      Oh, wait, same same for another day.

    • Nockular cavity

      “Not to the point of requesting disaster aid or anything. I mean, let’s not go overboard.”

      • cmd resistor

        As best I can tell, they’ve sent some search and rescue type people, and today the FEMA head and Homeland Security Advisor Tom Bossert are going. The headline refers to the (Trump Officials), which I guess is those two guys. “Anything but slow.” That can be a new WH slogan.

        • Nockular cavity

          incompetent, corrupt, and contemptuous are anything but slow, too.

          • Bad Scooter

            but tremendous in their ineptitude! only the most bestest lack of competence will do! people are saying they’ve never seen a bigger display of indifference than this administration’s! huge!

      • cmd resistor

        End of the article says, “Long and Bossert’s visit is intended to provide an assessment for a long-term relief package, she said.”j So once they assess that everything sucks, THEN they can figure out what they need.

    • Serai 1

      I’m starting to wonder if that bitch is even CAPABLE of telling the truth.

  • Me not sure

    One word: Zika.

    • Daniel

      The Mossad agent in NCIS?

      • Me not sure

        The mosquito borne virus. There’s going to be a lot of standing water for a while.

        • Zippy W Pinhead

          see also- Florida and Texas

          • natoslug

            All things considered, I’d rather have Zika than Texas or Florida.

  • Beanz&Berryz

    Soooo… Can individual states activate their own National Guard units and send them to help in PR?

    • (((Aron)))

      A good question. Something tells me that is unlikely, unless it is requested from DC.

  • Poly_Ester

    What can he do? They didn’t “stay safe” as directed to do so by trumpkins.

  • Mavenmaven

    As long as they don’t try to immigrate to Trump’s white mainland.

    • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

      They can’t immigrate. They’re Americans. When Puerto Ricans come stateside it’s called moving ;-).

      • Mavenmaven

        Obviously you don’t think like a Trumpi.

      • wavicles

        ” Everyone there will give a big cheer.”
        “Everyone there will have moved here.”

  • Longstreet63

    Perhaps Trump once saw “The Sound of Music” and remembered how one solves a problem like Maria…

  • eastcoastlib

    If only we had really big boats capable of feeding, hydrating and healing thousands of people.

    • Ωbjectifier

      If they were equipped with a nuclear power plant that would be great as well.

  • OrdinaryJoe

    I’m suggesting a boycott of the NFL. That is, a boycott of the games broadcast by FuxSports.

  • Résistance Land Shark Ω

    the medication may be associated with “libido disorders, ejaculation disorders, and orgasm disorders that continued after discontinuation of the drug.”

    What in the holy hell is an “orgasm disorder?” An orgasm out of sequence?

    • TootsStansbury

      It’s a variation of Tourette’s? I know I shouldn’t be laughing but I’m laughing.

    • RocketManCaptainHowdy

      I knew someone (not intimately) who took a medication that caused “reverse ejaculation”.

      • TimResistit

        I’m trying to imagine how that can even be and it makes my balls hurt.

        • RocketManCaptainHowdy

          Like, it goes the wrong way and into the bladder or something.

          • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

            Yup. I read somewhere that reverse ejaculation is a common side effect of prostate surgery. Sounds rather unpleasant to me.

          • foreign agitator Captain Kraut

            Won’t anybody think of the sports socks?

          • Meccalopolis

            Ahh! Ow!

      • James Baskin

        Prostate meds. I think you mean retrograde ejaculation. It means a ‘dry orgasm.’ And ‘No it does not hurt.’

  • cmd resistor

    Never fear, I just read that on his FB page that Rubio arrived in Puerto Rico this afternoon to .”see the damage done by Hurricane Maria & assess what is needed from the federal govt.”

    • Bub, the cynical zombie

      Well, shit. The thirsty little bastard is gonna hog all the water!

      • Rick Hill

        A nice photo op but no one will notice that nothing came of it

      • cmd resistor

        I also got a FB post from FEMA, with links to Coast Guard stuff about their efforts there. Most so far seems like getting ports open and assessing them. A good number are not functional yet. There were photos of one shipment to PR that included 750 liters of water and 1440 meals. That should take care of things. Also, I think 450 liters of water for St. John.

  • CripesAmighty

    So, how much did we spend on this fucking thing, and just what’s it doing now? Hmmmm? https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/66fea24769e413a1ca16d302cb0245013c05cceafb83886798a1c1a2d407d1d5.jpg

    • Bub, the cynical zombie

      Donnie has architects aboard trying to figure out how to turn it into a floating golf course/resort.

      • Bad Scooter

        needz moar gold terlets, too

  • puredog

    Uh, Becca, I think you meant to put Hillary’s tweet there in the article where you reprinted Drumpf’s “stay safe” tweet. https://twitter.com/HillaryClinton/status/911984783194050560?ref_src=twsrc%5Egoogle%7Ctwcamp%5Eserp%7Ctwgr%5Etweet

  • Rick Hill

    American citizens? Ok, but, how did they vote in the election?

    • Liquid Tomato

      They voted for statehood.

      • Rick Hill

        But did they vote for trump. Everthin else is irrelevant

        • Liquid Tomato

          A vote for statehood was a vote for Trump. *cough* They want to become a state so they can vote for him in 2020.

          • Serai 1

            Not anymore, they won’t.

          • Rachel Book Harlot

            Where did you get this information from? Trump only won 14% of the Republican primary in PR. Where did you read that they wanted statehood so they could vote for Trump?

            ETA: And a vote for statehood is a vote regarding the economic conditions. It’s a very complicated situation there. In 2012, 67% voted for statehood – while Obama was in office.

          • They voted for statehood in a corrupt as all get out election and STILL did not vote for Trump in the primary.

    • Serai 1

      They don’t get to vote in the election. They only get to be screwed over by the .0001%, who use the island as a money-laundering stopover.

      • TundraGrifter

        Isn’t it a trade off? American citizens who live in PR can’t vote in national elections but they don’t pay Federal income tax.

        • Serai 1

          No, it’s not a tradeoff. Puerto Rico is decades behind in infrastructure, gets basically ignored by Congress on almost everything (but slapped down hard when they ask for statehood), and is basically a chattel holding of the U.S. But if they gained statehood, the super rich couldn’t use them as a money pit, so they’re never going to get it. And now, of course, there’s no guarantee they’ll even get back when they had before.

          • TundraGrifter

            My comment wasn’t serious. PR is better off than Haiti because we dropped the pretense and made it clear we were running things down there. Sadly, we didn’t do a very good job of it. The 50 states can fend for themselves on a somewhat equal basis – colonies (including DC) don’t stand much of a show because they can’t really run themselves. I remember one of the largest banks down there was involved in a money-laundering scheme that was huge. My heart goes out to those good people – they are in a world of hurt.

          • Colonies is the right word for it. I had dreams of Empire…..

  • Bub, the cynical zombie
    • bbayliss

      But her…

    • miss_grundy

      So Dems should start screaming in Gowdy’s ear “But his emails!” every chance they get.

    • SnowBomber

      He was too busy at his second job as a greasy shovel.

  • Governor Cuomo flew down with supplies and aid workers, pero New York y Puerto Rico tenian connecciones para un siglo.

    • Rachel Book Harlot

      Chacho, un montón. :)

  • Riley Whodat Venable

    Thank you Evan, great work.
    When a White Supremecist politician starts losing his NASCAR Cred he is in Trouble. I’m proud of Jr.
    Also, too, FOX is in a tough spot. They paid Boucoup bucks to the NFL. They will dump Trump before dumping pro Sportsball.

    And LeBron is wonderful.

  • Bad Scooter

    Rebecca, thank you for Wonksplaining that the 3.5m people in Puerto Rico are part of U.S. America and such. The morning after Maria hit, my local 24-hour news channel (NECN)’s coverage was accompanied by this banner at the bottom of my TV:
    “ENTIRE COUNTRY OF PUERTO RICO WITHOUT POWER”

    I hadn’t had my coffee yet, but was awake enough to notice that NECN seemed to be disowning PR as U.S. territory. I’m sure many children throughout New England saw it, too, and NECN not only blew the opportunity to inform them that the people suffering in PR are citizens of the same nation as they are, they misinformed a lot of people that just aren’t aware.

    Moral of this story: always get all the news from Wonkette!!!

    • Canis Greyhame

      Go figure, a lot of people seem to think that Puerto Ricans living on the mainland are immigrants (trumpsters would almost certainly like to see them deported.)

      • natoslug

        Oh sure, pull the other one. Next you’ll tell us that Hawaiians are U.S. of Amercians as well.

  • anon_the_great

    Remember that Twilight Zone episode where the whole town had to kowtow to a kid if they didn’t want to end up as Jack-in-the-boxes? That kid is now President.

    It was wise of the Guv of Puerto Rico to not say shit about Twitler.

    • TundraGrifter

      I read a comment from a Regressive last week complaining about being made to “cow tow.” TMI.

      • Boojum

        Cow towing is what you do with your pickup after you put your cow on a skateboard.

  • miss_grundy

    Notice he didn’t work on the declaration over the weekend. P.R. will have to wait a couple of more weeks before he gets to it. ?????

  • whitroth

    I’ve had Great News: for those of you who saw it in other posts, with Orange Doody attacking the NFL (which is religion in his base areas), I was saying that all we needed was for him to diss NASCAR and bbq, and he’d be impeached tomorrow.

    Well, I read Dale Earnhart has jumped all over his case. Now about BBQ…

    Oh, and here’s truly *strange* news: Ann Coulter asked, apparently in the last week, “who *doesn’t* want to impeach him?” She’s apparently turned….

    • Truthiness2U

      It was his probably from his working with Pelosi and Schumer to help make a DACA deal to allow them to stay in the US, that got her turned on him.

      Because of course, it was the one decent thing that he might do ever, that got her twisted on the guy. Which IF he does it, it will because he saw that people liked it, and that besides her, his base wasn’t too up-in-arms about it (Fox was spinning to his advantage). So his narcissistic sociopathy was assuaged. Same as when the Dem leaders talking to him about preserving/improving the CSRs for the ACA were like ‘you can call it whatever you want, Mr. President,’ when he wanted to call it “repeal and replace.”

      Because see Dems want to help people, even if it means that Twittler gets a ‘win’ politically. Ann? of course not.

    • Pierre_de_Fermat

      I saw the Dale Earnhart, Jr quote.

      • resisting and persisting

        What world are we living in, when Dale Earnhart, Jr. quotes JFK in defiance of the president? I did not see that coming. But kudos to you, Dale.

        • ahughes798

          Dale is not like his father, that’s for sure. And that’s a good thing.

    • That was a couple weeks ago. Because she thought he might let those DACA kids stay

  • badtonto

    The thing I find most remarkable about this is that shore, his polsters and aides might have reassured him that the overwhelming response to the Women’s Marches was nothing much to worry his pretty orange head about because bitchez don’t support him anywayz but he’s throwing down and asking his disgruntled and embittered male base to choose who they have a bigger man crush on, him or their football stars?? Donald, Donald, Donald 🙄

  • Pierre_de_Fermat

    This is seen across the political spectrum. *ACROSS THE POLITICAL SPECTRUM*

    //twitter.com/ReaganBattalion/status/912407265008914433

    //twitter.com/thehill/status/912427757216428032

    //twitter.com/Joel_Searby/status/912407424346333185

    //twitter.com/katherinemiller/status/912439596599963648

    //twitter.com/20committee/status/912401742117179392

    //twitter.com/20committee/status/912401256701923328

    //twitter.com/JohnJHarwood/status/912380929083133952

    //twitter.com/DavidCornDC/status/912408496141996035

    This is spreading all over. #WhenWillTrumpTweetAboutPuertoRico

    //twitter.com/hashtag/WhenWillTrumpTweetAboutPuertoRico?src=hash

  • roberteye

    Sarah Fuckabee Sanders says FEMA guy and his lackey are there now assessing things. I could assess from news footage, like when we saw displaced people post Katrina, while Brownie was do his heckuva job. PR needs billions in gas, food and water HOY!

  • Keith Taylor

    This must be unfair reporting on your part. Down in Puerto Rico, “officials are praising the proactive response by President Donald Trump and the federal government.” I do not doubt it for a second. I read it on Gateway Pundit.
    I believe them. I’d never suspect that Donald Trump is ignorant of Puerto Rico’s location, or that he initially went, “Oh, Mexicans.” Or that someone said nervously, “Mr. President, Puerto Rico is U.S. territory and these are citizens who can move freely between their island and the mainland, sir,” or that he would have said, “Can they vote in presidential elections?” and on being told, “No, Mr.President,” he would have said, “Fuck’m, what about something important like these football traitors?”
    That would be very unfair on my part.

  • SeeTrain65
  • pgjack

    Relatives on both sides of my family are in Puerto Rico without power and water and little prospect of serious help getting to them anytime soon. Thank goodness our president is calling Kim names and chastising the football players otherwise those Americans in Puerto Rico might really be in trouble.

    • Rachel Book Harlot

      I’m so sorry. Have you been able to get in contact with them?

    • Old Man Yells at Cloud

      I have no relatives in PR and as far as I know, nobody I know is there, but those 3.5 million people are American citizens for fucks sake! If Lil’Donnie Two-Scoops isn’t going to act, Congress needs to and override any fucking veto he tries.

  • Rachel Book Harlot

    Rrrrebecca – I rolled my r’s for you – thanks for this post! The situation in PR is devastating. And sadly, as I’ve stated before, this is what it feels like to be invisible. When the mayor of San Juan said in an interview, “don’t forget us”, it broke my fucking heart because it’s something that had to be said.

  • Pierre_de_Fermat
  • Persistent Tennessee Rain
  • Mike Steele

    Rebecca, bless your heart. Lady MS here. Anyone been to PR? It is glorious, combining history (old San Juan, El Morro fort); ecotourism/rainforest, etc.; great resorts; bilingual Americans – even at Mickey D’s! ; urgently needed scientific resources – okay, we’ll stop here. Asteroid 2012 will be passing by Earth next month, possibly within 4200 miles. The best US telescope is Arecibo (yes, PR), now w/o power, water, communications. The folks who are ‘keeping America safe’ from intergalactic annihilation are not being kept safe by America from their own extinction. #FAVA: finding America vulnerable again.

    • Lily412

      I’ve wanted to visit for years now. I’m so heartbroken that this happened to them. They’ve not had great luck the last few years.

  • phoenix00

    Clinton NOT tweeting about sports??!! THAT’S why she lost the election!!!111

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