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He sure does seem scared!

There are portents and omens, and also more than a little foreshadowing, related to Ye Olde Robert Mueller Trump-Russia Investigation! A bunch of weird things are making us say, “HMMMMMMM. Is some really big shit about to drop?” Let’s sexsplore and wildly speculate and do whatever other masterful journalism things Wonkette is famous for:

CONSIDER: Robert Mueller is reportedly “going for the kill” in the Russia investigation.

That’s what Axios says anyway. In one of its famous “bullet points for people who get distracted by squirrels” news posts, it says special counsel Robert Mueller is “burrowing in hard on the obstruction of justice angle,” related to Trump’s firing of former FBI director James Comey. Axios notes Steve Bannon’s declaration to “60 Minutes” that Trump’s decision to fire Comey was the stupidest mistake in “modern political history,” and describes a White House that is just generally spooked right now.

Trump offered many conflicting lies for why he fired Comey, including his silly excuse that he agreed with Deputy Attorney General Rod Rosenstein that Comey treated Hillary Clinton so unfairly in the email investigation, as well as his dumbass first draft explanation, dictated to dead-eyed white supremacist poop stain Stephen Miller.

Of course, Trump finally admitted to NBC’s Lester Holt that he fired Comey because of the Russia investigation, and then he told the Russians in the Oval Office that “Yippee! I fixed the Russia investigation!” because he fired that “nut job” Comey.

CONSIDER ALSO: Sarah Huckabee Sanders has been hollerin’ like a pissed off Arkansas hoot owl all week about how James Comey is bad and James Comey should be investigated and James Comey farts and leaves the room.

Granted, Trump has been raging about Comey for months now, because Comey is the leaker-in-chief who leaked his own (unclassified) personal memos to his pal about how Trump tried to obstruct justice by pushing him to shut down the Russia investigation. Idiot Trump lawyer Marc Kasowitz quite simply nailed Comey for that non-crime, of leaking unclassified information.

Lately, though, the White House’s bullshit story has been pounding the narrative that Comey broke America by FULLY EXONERATING Hillary Clinton in the email investigation, before he even had a chance to figure out how many email crimes she had committed. WHOA IF TRUE, except for how it’s not. That brings us to Press Secretary Sarah Hucka-Spawn Sanders’s behavior this week in the press room.

On Tuesday, responding to Maggie Haberman’s question about Bannon’s comments on the Comey firing, Sanders READ VERY CAREFULLY from her pre-written talking points about how Trump has been FULLY VINDICATED! YOOGE SUCCESS! for his decision to fire Comey. But she went even further than usual, suggesting that maybe the Department Of Justice should look into prosecuting Comey for committing CRIMES. Like, she’s not telling DOJ what to do, but she is just saying, OK?

She did this Monday too. None of this is an accident. Of course, the only appropriate response is “Oh, can it, you asshole,” but it’s clear Sanders is speaking Donald Trump’s mind right now.

Oh BOY, his little bitty paws must be sweating over whatever testimony/evidence Comey has for Robert Mueller!

CONSIDER ALSO TOO: Weird how shit is leaking about how some of Trump’s lawyers were trying to get Jared Kushner quit-fired early in the summer, because of his role in the Russia investigation, dontcha think?

Yr Wonkette “Five Dollar Feminist” explored this ably in a post today, so we’ll just let you read that, but let’s just say it’s odd how Trump’s lawyers are treading water backwards right now with conflicting stories about how they either think Jared Kushner is an angel, or maybe possibly they wanted him out of the White House back in JUNE, because of the various villains he’s played in the Trump-Russia scandal, and because of his knowledge of the meeting he attended at Trump Tower, hosted by Trump firstborn son PicassoFace McWastedSpace Junior, with a buncha fuckin’ Russian spies.

Considering that Trump’s legal team leaks like a sieve (just like his White House staff and also like his dumb mouth), we sense the possibility that some in the White House want to rent a bus so they can throw Jared under it.

CONSIDER ALSO TOO AS WELL: Errrrrrrrrbody and their mom is lawyering up right now!

Literally everybody near the deliberations over Junior’s official first excuse for his Russian spy meeting, which was written by his dad, is lawyering up right now, including Trump’s 84th communications director Hope Hicks, as well as White House counsel Don McGahn and former chief of staff Reince Preibus. (Those last two hired the same lawyer, in fact!)

This comes amid reports that Mueller wants to speak to those three, as well as former press secretary Sean Spicer, James Burnham (one of McGahn’s boys) and Josh Raffel (one of Kushner’s boys).

All these people are tied directly to the obstruction of justice angles on the Russia investigation, the Comey firing, and/or the follow-the-bouncing-ball excuses for Trump Jr.’s Russian spy meeting. WaPo also mentions the day-late, dollar-short firing of literal actual foreign agent Michael Flynn as something Mueller is digging into, like a common animal that digs a lot.

That is just a lot to consider, Wonkette.

We know, but seriously, CONSIDER THEM. We’re just curious, because all the players seem crazy scared right now, and they’re doing everything they can to smear James Comey, retain expensive lawyers most of the staffers involved probably can’t afford, and possibly maybe try to throw J-Kush under the bus.

Is something YOOGE about to drop in the investigation? We aren’t sure, but if Benjamin Wittes starts posting “GO BOOM!” on his Twitter, we’re definitely going to take credit for being psychic and knowing something really big was about to happen.

Follow Evan Hurst on Twitter RIGHT HERE.

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[Axios]

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  • dslindc

    That’s what Axios says anyway. In one of its famous “bullet points for people who get distracted by squirrels” news posts . . .

    LOL!

  • GoutMachine

    Dear Allah/Jeebus/FSM/Buddha/Easter Bunny,

    Please, please, please, pretty please let some shit happen!

    • SDGeoff3

      I know. I’m getting bored with this average-style scandal. Let’s have some fireworks.

  • Msgr_MΩment

    I’M GETTING CONSIDER-FATIGUE ALL OVER, WONKET!!

    • GoutMachine

      I think the prescription is more cowbell.

      • Msgr_MΩment

        When is it not?

        • FlownΩver

          When it’s “Popcorn! Stat!”

  • Skwerl the Nazi Puncher
  • SayItWithWookies

    There could be a lot of rumblings before all hell breaks loose. I mean, I’m pretty sure all hell is going to break loose at some point, but as these investigations go, everyone being scared might not translate into indictments for a couple of months. That said — the sooner the better, because any goddamn indictment of Trump and his cronies is at least ten months late at this point.

  • ManchuCandidate

    I am “shocked” that the people who get elected to help riches who hate rules and regulations are being kneecapped by rules and regulations.

  • wide_stance_hubby

    Just in: Pennsylvania Avenue shut down due to massive nervous shit flow coming from the WH.

    I’m hoping the cramps are searingly painful also too as well.

  • jesuswasablack

    “Is something YOOGE about to drop in the investigation”
    Does it matter? Does anyone really think that Paul Ryan and McTurtle are going to do anything to remove Chump from office?

    • wide_stance_hubby

      They’ll remain on the Trumptanic only until their toes get wet.

  • Jon Sussex

    Just in time for NYFW, Who Wore It Better: White House Orange Jumpsuit Edition.

  • fawkedifiknow

    I don’t know about Trump getting all nervous and such. He’s too stupid to know he”s in trouble.

  • cmd resistor

    I don’t get the Sarah Huckabee Sanders stuff. She seems to be saying DOJ should investigate Comey for leaking stuff about his firing about 3 weeks before he was fired? Maybe I am reading that wrong.

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      Maybe I can help. She is A Idiot.

      Does that help?

      • Gayer Than Thou

        She is A Idiot Who Is Paid To Lie.

      • cmd resistor

        I keep forgetting to try not to apply the basic rules of logic and other stuff like that.

    • MrTusks

      She didn’t get it either, which is why it had to be a prepared statement.

    • Mr. Blobfish

      Instead of talking about it all the time, why doesn’t trump waddle on over to Sessions and tell him to start an investigation? He’s, ya know, the President.

  • memzilla Ω

    I can’t wait until The Franklin Mint starts selling the commemorative handcuffs!

    • Three Finger Salute

      …from the limited-edition Ted Cruz collection?

  • TheGrandWazoo2
    • Paul Dietzel

      Like Mike Lupica said about “The Meeting”, roughly, “there were more Russians there than were in Dr. Zhivago.”

  • Mr. Blobfish

    Speaking of farts, Trump is probably the guy who squeezes out a KFC Extra Crispy fart just before getting out of the elevator.

    • SDGeoff3

      So, no KFC today. OK, back to the drawing board.
      Can we hold off a day or two on Luna Grill?

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      That’s what he looked like in that picture with the pope. He looked like a guy who just shit himself and was proud of himself because everyone else just had to stand there and smell it.

    • Three Finger Salute

      > Speaking of farts, Trump

      You don’t even need to say anything further. I think “Trump” is the new dictionary entry for “onomatopoeic descriptor of the noise made during flatulence.”

  • Paperless Tiger

    There are probably a lot of i’s to dot and t’s to cross, what with all the ‘infractions’ and ‘Trumps’.

  • Mehmeisterjr

    Dere Wonket, if that is turely you’re name.

    Using fowl language two whit: “G*shd*rn T*rna*t**n” is the sine of a litle mine and nut wurthy of discussation, wich is wye I donnot discussipate it.

    • clubseal

      Possible onanistic, also too!11!

      • Les Appentis De la résistance

        Glue huffingly onanistic.

        • OneYieldRegular

          Glue Huffinglypost onanistic.

      • eggs ackly-wright

        Et cetera and so on.

    • Marion in Savannah

      Yoo spel gud.

    • SeeTrain65

      “Ewe telz um! Eye nose ann intaleckshul wen eye seez wun!”

    • george lastrapes

      Truly fowl language is someone who says ‘fuck’ so often that they sound like a chicken with a speech impediment.
      “Fuck FUCK, fuck FUCK, fuckfuckfuckfuck….”
      If this trend continues, the English language will, in a few generations, consist entirely of the word ‘fuck’, which will have perhaps a million definitions.
      On the plus side, it will be much easier to learn the alphabet.

    • FlownΩver

      So much marklar.

  • writersbloc

    Feels like Trump hasn’t stomped on his dick super hard (like he does every week) since pre-Harvey. Calm before the storm?

    • cmd resistor

      He’s going to Florida tomorrow to save the day. Or meet with FEMA. Or get his photo taken. Or something.

    • SeeTrain65

      It’s like the weather. If Trump hasn’t stepped on his dick yet, wait a minute.

  • The Wanderer

    OT:. Six elderly patients die at Hollywood, FL nursing home. Huffpo reports a criminal investigation underway.

  • writersbloc

    Also, super pixelated Sara Huckabee…. dare I say…. almost attractive.

  • Mr. Blobfish

    I am reeeeeally sick and tired of Press Secretary Slantface McGhee and her daily bullshit conference.

  • Nockular cavity

    bullet points for people who get distracted by squirrels

    Libel against…hey, SQUIRREL!

  • UncleTravelingMatt
  • Scooby

    Interns are showing up at job interviews with lawyers.

    • Crystalclear12

      Time saver.

    • Three Finger Salute

      Sure beats bringing mom along. Unless mom is also a lawyer.

  • Three Finger Salute

    Ooh, how about this! I reeeeeeeally hope Mueller drops the banhammer bigly on Big Tech and shuts down those motherfuckers once and for all.

    Mueller probe has red hot focus on Russia’s use of social media to meddle in 2016 election: report

    GRIFT (Google/Reddit/Instagram/Facebook/Twitter) is evil and not a place for friends.

  • TheGrandWazoo2

    I don’t see how Trump and associates can sleep at night with all the shit swirling around them.

    • wide_stance_hubby

      Delightful, isn’t it?

    • bbayliss

      Shitsleepers.

    • CO

      Maybe that’s why Trump usually has the sniffles.

    • OneWhiteWhisker

      They are currently in the eye of the shitstorm where it is peaceful and calm and hardly smelly at all. But soon the fecalcane will rev up and they will be whirled away in a poopnado, never to be allowed to stench up the planet again!

    • Covfefe

      Pigs. Shit makes pigs happy. Specially when it’s their own.

      • mardam422

        Well, I always kind of smile when I smell my own farts. But I consider myself a good person. Am I wrong?

        • Covfefe

          That’s the other thing. These guys are Republicans. Everyone knows Republican shit don’t smell.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Not an ethical or emphatic bone in their vile bodies.

  • Crystalclear12

    When the underlings start throwing the top tier under the bus the end is near.

  • Joshua Norton

    I think it’s just horrible how you all gang up on poor President Trump whose only crime is trying to make America great again!!

    HAHA! PSYCH!!!

  • OneWhiteWhisker

    OHBOYohboyohboy!

    OT: I really love Evan’s articles, there’s always something in there that makes me crack up but they’re informative too!

    • mardam422

      Laughter is the best edification.

  • jesterpunk
    • jesterpunk
      • SeeTrain65

        “The Family Who Preys.”

    • Three Finger Salute

      The Usurer Suspects.

    • Paul Dietzel

      The guy between Sessions and Trump seems to be nodding his head toward Trump the way Kramer was doing that one time he was in a lineup.

      • Dg Hacket

        I think that’s Giuliani

    • Bright Bart

      it was all of them Katie. they all touched me in an inappropriate place (except for dobby, he couldn’t reach)

  • CNN is reporting that DOJ is refusing to allow two top FBI officials to testify before the Senate committee investigating the Comey firing. Feinstein and Grassley at odds over how to proceed.

    • MrTusks

      They just don’t want spoilers for the grand jury testimony.

  • Pugsandcoffee

    I’m convinced that Sarah’s wonky eye is her soul looking for a way out of this mess.

    • Mr. Blobfish

      Cruel, but fair.

      • Beanz&Berryz

        The Good Girl trapped inside the monster?

    • BigTBone

      Her last man had to break it off since they could no longer see eye to eye.

  • Villago Delenda Est

    Axios is engaging in clickbait trolling. Allen and VandeHei, GOP scum. Fuck them.

  • Les Appentis De la résistance

    This administration leaks like a syphlitic dick.

    • Beanz&Berryz

      Ewww…

    • Moldy Weißwurst

      The difference, of course, is that antibiotics can cure a syphilitic dick. The only cure for the current administration is that ancient practice of purging and bloodletting until they’re marble pale and stone cold (with votes).

    • The Wanderer

      Mercury salts, syringed up the urethra. It’s a proven cure, apart from the mercury poisoning.

  • bbayliss

    If “going for the kill” includes the entire GOP, Fox News, breitbart,and the other right wing disinformation sites, as well as most of this administration, I’m willing to be patient.

    • Three Finger Salute

      And our undemocratic “allies” in Israel and Saudi Arabia.

  • Mr. Blobfish

    This is just going to make soccer moms and NASCAR dads more economically anxious.

    • NeoliberalBanksterCaptainHowdy

      Just what we need, more alienation of the WWC. Why was Bam Bam playing all that golf instead of bringing the coal mines back?

  • Beanz&Berryz

    My sense of smell isn’t so good, especially when it comes to smelling the fear of Ratses, so I couldn’t really sense this all coming together. But, this does make sense of the steady flow of disclosures, lawyer hirings, and lawyers leaking(!?) various alternative story lines about the Whole Shitstorm. (Who EVER heard of lawyers, other than penny ante criminal defense lawyers, trying out alternative and contradictory justifying story lines in press leakages!?)

    Looking forward to Mueller “bombing the shit out of ’em.”

  • Three Finger Salute

    Moar Bob news that might also implicate another “democratic ally”:

    Mueller receives evidence that Flynn broke the law by failing to disclose role in $100B Russia-Saudi deal

    Wouldn’t it be great if “going in for the kill” also brought down the country that did 9/11 along with Trump and his mafia?

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      I’m mostly offended by his fee. $25K on a $100 Billion deal? That’s pocket change. To paraphrase Rick, I don’t mind a traitor. I object to a cut-rate one.

      • Covfefe

        One time $25K fee isn’t enough to create a conflict of interest with his duties as national security advisor. Piece of the action would be enough.

      • When committing treason, one should always charge enough to buy a comfortable life in a country without an extradition treaty.

        • BigTBone

          The downside is if you have one of those tiny Caribbean Islands after this week, you gotta swim somewhere non-US.

      • SeeTrain65

        As Robert Klein once said of Spiro Agnew, “He’d almost seem like less of a crook if he took more.”

        • MrTusks

          Yeah, 25K out of 100B is “maybe no one will notice” money.

        • UncleTravelingMatt

          I’ve never heard that before. Thank you.

  • DainBramage

    I would venture to say that the stupidest mistake Trump made was actually running for president. Anyone with any sense could’ve told him that his use of mob tactics, white supremacist/fascist tendencies, love of Russian money and total ignorance of American governance would get him into deep doo.
    Of course, Trump doesn’t seem to know anyone with sense, so he never had a reality check.

    • Gee, Your Hair Smells Horrific

      He would have been so much better of if he hadn’t won.

      • SpideySenser

        We H̶e̶ would have been so much better of if he hadn’t won.
        FIFY.

        • Humblehollow

          Idk. He wouldn’t have gone away. He would be attention whoring on the sidelines making billions in the process while inciting insanity while HRC tried to POTUS good.

    • Three Finger Salute

      “Anyone with any sense could’ve told him that his use of mob tactics, white supremacist/fascist tendencies, love of Russian money and total ignorance of American governance would get him into deep doo.”

      Except in America. We eat that shit up here. Also, he was running against an icky girl who wanted to carry the torch for a guy with a tan birthday suit.

      Trump was a shoo-in, because Murica, that’s why.

    • ariel_gee_398

      He’s like every Scooby Doo villain, except instead of “I would have gotten away with it if it weren’t for you meddling kids” it’s “I would have gotten away with it if my tremendous ego didn’t require I run for president and expose all my dirty shit.”

    • LesBontemps

      No, his mistake was winning; even he didn’t expect to fuck up that badly.

      • george lastrapes

        Like a dog who actually catches a car. Now whaddya do, Sparky?

        • JohnnieWHurwitz

          Boost your earnings on Google & make $99/hour by working from a home computer.
          on friday I bought a gorgeous Chrysler when I got my check for $9277 this munth. it’s actualy the most comfortable job Ive ever had . I actually started seven months/ago and almost straight away got over $99, per/hr . check
          !si293d:
          ➽➽
          ➽➽;➽➽ http://CheckMyGoogleProfitAdvisorReports/easy/jobs ★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫:::::!si373l..,..

    • george lastrapes

      He is surrounded by a force field that negates reality, causality, logic, information, and so forth. Others who get too close are entrapped, like flies in amber.

  • lucidamente
    • bbayliss

      Well, that’s it then.

    • Creepoman

      That poor fucking egg.

  • Gee, Your Hair Smells Horrific

    This is all great, but we still don’t know: is it “Muller” or “Mewler?”

    • msanthropesmr

      Bueller.

      • LesBontemps

        Mulder. (‘Cause the truth is out there.)

    • Johnny Appleseed

      Good one. I’ve heard more Muller but it’s spelled like Mewler. Inquiring minds want to know (or at least, to get it right).

  • george lastrapes

    A puzzlement: Say, I’m a lawyer, and I hire a lawyer, and he hires a lawyer. Could that lawyer hire me? And if so, what novel properties would this ‘closed curve of lawyering’ possess?

    • jesterpunk

      A human lawyer centipede?

    • bbayliss

      Complete silence, brilliant!

    • MrTusks

      Don’t create a billing singularity! Terri in accounting will collapse in on herself!

      • george lastrapes

        That black hole could create a whole new attorniverse.

        • BeachBum

          Cool ! That means there could be a pizzaverse and a beerverse !

          • george lastrapes

            What if the beerverse has no toilets?

          • BeachBum

            I guess we would have a 500 yr flood.

    • Marion in Savannah

      The legal ouroboros.

      • Me not sure

        Oouroboros, C’thulhu, and Smaug, attorneys at law, and official personal councils to Donald J. Trump.

        • Marion in Savannah

          Or Smaug, Ouroboros & Beelzebub — SOB.

          • Me not sure

            Who’re you callin’ SOB, sister?

    • Ricky Gay

      The Human Centipede on continual loop?

      • george lastrapes

        We are fucking with the very FABRIC OF REALITY!!!

    • BigCSouthside

      I think that level of lawyering opens up a stargate or something

      • george lastrapes

        A wormhole- and just what crawls out of wormholes?

        • Arolpin

          Well-fed birds?

    • BeachBum

      IDK but I think Chuck Ponzi or Bernie Madoff do.

      • george lastrapes

        I should never have opened this line of inquiry, not knowing its potential ramifications. Could make the Hbomb look like a whoopee cushion.

        • BeachBum

          That’s ok. 80% of what I say here I don’t “say,” and the other half makes no sense.

          • george lastrapes

            Your lawyer told you to say that, didn’t he? And where did his orders come from?

          • BeachBum

            I will ask him and get back to you.

  • mardam422

    The old adage about rats and a sinking ship comes to mind.

    • george lastrapes

      The ship (of state) must leave the sinking rats.

  • BigCSouthside

    Mueller gets impeachment on the obstruction and Russia. Trump pardons, AG Schneiderman gets the prison term on the Sater related laundering

  • William
    • SeeTrain65

      Photo taken on last trip to Camp David.

    • OneWhiteWhisker

      Holy shit I will have (more) nightmares now.

  • bbayliss

    “Mueller probe has ‘red hot’ focus on Russia’s use of social media to meddle in 2016 election: report”
    https://www.rawstory.com/2017/09/mueller-probe-has-red-hot-focus-on-russias-use-of-social-media-to-meddle-in-2016-election-report/

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    I would call them pretty little liars if they weren’t so fugly FFS.

    • SeeTrain65

      “Ugly Chicken Fuckers?”

    • Amelia Resists and Persists

      Just take out the r and you’re a lot closer. Petty little liars.

  • Asterix

    “Going for the kill” should include taking out the GOP, Faux News and Alex Jones – otherwise it’s pointless. Take everyone out Bob!

    • Three Finger Salute

      Don’t forget Sinclair Hatethink and the Merciless Mercers. Also their enablers in the tech and media industries.

    • bbayliss

      You forgot a couple.
      bbayliss • 19 minutes ago
      If “going for the kill” includes the entire GOP, Fox News, breitbart,and the other right wing disinformation sites, as well as most of this administration, I’m willing to be patient.

    • BigCSouthside

      If mueller did that I would demand a colossus of him be built on the land the Trump Tower currently sits on

      • William

        Or at least his face on the Wheaties box.

    • Bright Bart

      well unfortunately freedom of the press goes both ways. It allows anyone to create a 24/7 propaganda channel like fox news etc. The hope in a society that is educated is that no one will take it seriously. Perhaps someday we will realize that society. It takes a while to crawl out of the mud of slavery, racism and indigenous genocide. Now if someone were to hack the stations and flash banners that said warning, propaganda every 3 minutes, i certainly wouldn’t object.

      • Three Finger Salute

        Other countries have hate speech laws that don’t allow racist, misogynistic, homophobic bullshit to appear on their airwaves or travel across their innertubes. Germany learned their lesson and acted accordingly. America never does.

  • William
  • MoeLarryAndJesus

    I won’t be truly happy until 2-3 of these bozos get shanked in the Yard.

  • Saxo the Grammarian

    “James Comey is bad and James Comey should be investigated and James Comey farts and leaves the room.”

    Comey gets the raging farts when he eats Mexican food, and you don’t want to be in an elevator with him when that happens.

  • NeoliberalBanksterCaptainHowdy

    There is going to be A Surprise. Mark my words.

  • CO
    • bbayliss

      DUH

    • WotsAllThisThen

      Isn’t that the Russian cybersecurity firm that Mike Flynn worked for?

  • Carpe Vagenda

    Gee, wasn’t it lucky that Miss Sarah had a pre-written answer right there handy for the question that Miss Maggie just happened to ask her when she just happened to call on her?

    It’s that kind of luck that helped Miss Maggie and her partner stumble on a big book contract to write about the guy she has long-time personal connections to who happened to win the election.

  • WotsAllThisThen

    This can only mean Jeff Sessions is close to finding that 400lb hacker in New Jersey who hacked into the election for the Democrats.

  • UncleTravelingMatt

    When investigators don’t leak, mothafuckers get nervous. When mothafuckers get nervous, that’s when mothafuckers start rolling.

    • ariel_gee_398

      Has any leak other than Mueller is working with Schneiderman come from the investigators? I think that’s it, and that was clearly a reminder after the Sheriff Joe pardon that pardon powers are not unlimited.

      • UncleTravelingMatt

        I thought that came out of Schneiderman’s office.

        • BigTBone

          That to me seems like the most reassuring portion of all this. Mueller seems like the penultimate professional keeping all the cards close to the vest…

    • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

      No one wants to be the only one holding the bag.

  • bubbuhh

    Well, spooked (and not in a good way) or no, the White House is continuing on it’s Alt-right mission of loading the guvmint with racists, thieves, American type quislings and religious bigots. According to TPM, Trump has nominated yet another bigot to the Federal Election Commission Trump’s nomination, Trey Trainor, a Texas lawyer who has frequently flouted campaign finance regulators, is also a religious bigot of the Militant Catholic stripe, that is, he even hates Protestants. We can guess how he feels about Buddhas, Zoroasters and Judeo-Christian goats, like Islams and Jews, compared to Popish sheep.

    Anywayz, he’s belatedly tryin to hide his light under a bushel but not before several of his Church Militant tweets were captured by Pastafarians and such for everyone’s edification.

    Read the talking Points Memo article. Be sure to have alcohol available.

    • Three Finger Salute

      Wow, we really do need to upgrade to the metric system. The current year in Canada is 2017. The current year in America is 1933.

    • Thiazin Red

      Of course, someone who broke the law regarding elections should be in charge of elections.

      • Up In Smoke O’hontas

        Who would know more about the subject, right?

    • SDGeoff3

      Have hooch, will travel. Thanks!

      • SDGeoff3

        I am back. There is not enough booze here.

    • altleftjohn

      Won’t someone think of the Protestants?

  • Blackest Noobs

    but it’s the United States, and Republicans control both Houses of Congress, and hold a slim majority in the Supreme Court…..i see nothing is gonna happen.

    oooooh Trump did some corrupt shit but, come on, it’s not like they’re gonna do anything.
    he’ll get charged with something, and he’ll fucking pardon himself, and Republicans will just shrug their shoulders and go, “oh well…”

    • Snark Tank Full of Resistance

      What I’m hoping for are criminal charges that can’t be ignored. Probably won’t happen, but a man can dream.

      • Blackest Noobs

        eh? i dunno…they’ve been ignoring A LOT…so i wouldn’t put it past them to even ignore criminal charges.

        that is how bad it has gotten.

    • Three Finger Salute

      “We really need to move on and get back to talking about what’s important right now: Tax cuts.” -Paul Ryan

  • IdiotsforPalin

    Nobody rocks a potato sack and pearls like Sarah………

  • NICE TIME ALERT:

    The Medicare For All presser is a happy and optimistic presser. The Dem’s are coming across as caring, compassionate human beings, quite the contrast to the Trumpster’s catastrophic world view.

    • Three Finger Salute

      Caring, Compassionate, Consummate Professionals.

      FOX NEWS ALERT: DEMOCRATS ADMIT TO FOREIGN INFLUENCE BY CANADA, INVOKE SOVIET UNION BY REBRANDING AS “CCCP”

      • United Senator’s Supporting Reform libelz!

        • Three Finger Salute

          South Hampshire Institute of Technology, the rebranded name for Trump University.

          • Meccalopolis

            Technical Institute of Technology

        • tomamitai

          Roman alphabet supremacist!

  • jesterpunk

    The lobbying was coming from inside the White House.

    http://www.npr.org/2017/09/13/550679417/house-dems-michael-flynn-may-have-lobbied-for-nuclear-deal-inside-white-house

    Retired Lt. Gen. Mike Flynn may have lobbied on behalf of a vast foreign deal to build a fleet of nuclear reactors across the Middle East as he was serving as national security adviser, according to new documents out Wednesday.

    Two top House Democrats raised the question about Flynn’s use of his office in a letter they sent to a pair of business leaders with whom Flynn worked on the project.

    “Your responses raise significant questions about whether General Flynn continued to communicate with you and others about this project after the presidential election … and after General Flynn assumed the post of national security adviser — without disclosing his foreign travel or contacts,” they wrote.

    • weejee

      tRump will give him a pardon and a couple of medals.

      • jesterpunk

        He may get a purple heart out of it.

        • weejee

          Not sure they award one for wounds received being guest of honor at a firing squad.

      • Three Finger Salute

        …that he tore off David Clarke’s Boy Scout cosplay outfit.

  • weejee

    Those f**king emails and, FFS, the lame stream’s love of them.

    / below from 538 post

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/cd03ae8c9e1af264a16d08ecfe4685536b6791af864be7945343b27b63a18efc.png

    • TJ Barke

      That durn librul media!

      • weejee

        Includes (un)social media too, also.

    • Thiazin Red

      And the Trump Foundation would have gotten no coverage if it weren’t for one guy.

    • Paperless Tiger

      Look, there’s Putin down at the wee end, flying under the radar.

      • Three Finger Salute

        The “wee” end?

        ISWYDT

  • laughingnome

    Sarah is adhering to the Comey talking points again today.

    • BosGrl

      She just fucking mentioned Drumpf’s BIG WIN.

  • OrG

    I won’t be sad if they throw jared under the bus.

  • jesterpunk

    Who would have guessed all that crying about the national debt didnt actually mean anything and was just to complain about Democrats?

    https://www.washingtonpost.com/powerpost/white-house-republican-leaders-plan-to-reveal-tax-cut-details-in-two-weeks/2017/09/13/ff88c3b8-988d-11e7-87fc-c3f7ee4035c9_story.html?utm_term=.922f0d471481

    Later in the morning, House Speaker Paul D. Ryan (R-Wis.) left open the possibility that the tax plan would cut government revenue — adding to the government’s budget deficit but potentially averting the need to make tough choices that could leave the legislation tangled in a political thicket.

    “We want pro-growth tax reform that will get the economy growing, that will get people back to work, that will give middle-income taxpayers a tax cut, and that will put American businesses in a better competitive playing field so that we keep American businesses in America,” Ryan said at an event hosted by the Associated Press. “That is more important than anything else.”

    Ryan, who had spent years blasting Washington policymakers for not doing enough to tackle the deficit and the debt, had earlier pledged a “revenue-neutral” tax bill — one that did not change the amount of anticipated federal income. But the failure of the GOP health-care legislation, which included a nearly $1 trillion revenue cut, has scrambled party leaders’ plans.

    • SeeTrain65

      Biggest. Fake. In. Congress. (h/t Charlie Pierce, again, natch.)

    • Beanz&Berryz

      Why fuck around with anything unless it’s gonna have a multi-trillion dollar impact on the US economy/government?

    • yyyaz

      Anyone who has believed otherwise for the past 40 years is A Idiot.

  • Joshua Norton

    They’re going to need another bus.

  • BigCSouthside

    What’s the canary in the coal mine for “this shit is going down”?

    Kushner resigning?
    Kelly resigning?
    Trump attempts to fire Bob?
    Breitbart goes full attack mode on comey/mueller 24/7?

    I feel like there is one thing, and if it happens, it’s just a matter of time.

    • BosGrl

      Kelly seems like the only person trying to keep the Oval together so if he goes, not sure if the center will hold.

    • weejee

      Pence resigning.

    • jowgajen

      What if the thing already happened?

    • Notreelyhelping

      Congress gets its tax cut?

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      Ivanka leaves.

    • Meccalopolis

      Someone attempts suicide?

  • Daniel

    Related: BillO says Trump is too ignorant to actually understand what Nazism is, and what the Nazis did. When he’s defending Nazis, BillO’s thesis runs, he’s doing so because he thinks people are attacking him by criticising Nazis.

    I mean. He’s not wrong, but he’s probably not right the way he thinks he is.

    • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

      Interesting theory. No, wait. It’s utter bollocks, is what it is.

      • Daniel

        His point, as with so many that keep trying to defend Trump, is that the man is as fragile and impulsive as a toddler and as educated as a cartoon of himself.

        The only defences for his behaviour his own supporters have is that he’s fucking hopelessly incompetent and infantile.

    • Brian Fowler

      Ignorance is no excuse. Also, if you take criticism of Nazis as a criticism of yourself, well…

      • Daniel

        I am reminded of the bit in an interview Trump gave with BillO during the campaign, shortly after tweeting that racist meme about black people murdering white people which had been taken from The Daily Stormer.
        BillO asked why he’d retweeted it. Trump replied that it was unreasonable to expect him to check everything he retweeted for accuracy. BillO actually said “you gotta! If you’re President, you’ve gotta!” and Trump just made that farting with his face expression he has, and that was that.

        Trump is an ignorant fuck who sees no need to stop being an ignorant fuck.

    • weejee
      • altleftjohn

        How does Cassini feel about this?

        • It’s already taking one for science, might as well take one for the country and not only go out in a blaze of glory, but with the thanks of a grateful nation!

      • Covfefe

        Did BillO stay at Marriot?

      • OneWhiteWhisker

        Not far away enough.

    • Three Finger Salute

      Is he done fake-writing his autobiography “Killing Journalism” yet?

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      This is the kind of shit that happens when there are no Hitler statues.

  • Joy

    James Comey farts and leaves the room… lol I bet his farts smell like avocado with a hint of justice.

    • Anna Rompage

      In other words, they smell like victory!

      • janecita

        Is that what guacamole smells like?

        • Anna Rompage

          Almost, but guac has a little hint of earthy garlic & and bright fresh lime…

          • janecita

            And cilantro.

          • Bozilingus

            And green peas…

          • Marion in Savannah

            YOU MONSTER!

          • yyyaz

            If your pees are green, you should see a urologist.

    • Paperless Tiger

      All because he wouldn’t let Trump apply some cocoa butter.

    • William
  • mailman27

    Bob Mueller’s like Honey Badger.

  • BadKitty904
  • BosGrl

    OT: Sister Sarah, responding to a question about women in the WH, noted that
    she and KaC are women also too! Because there’s no difference between
    spokesfolks and cabinet secretaries with actual positions of authority
    and leadership.

    • Three Finger Salute

      Also Ivanka, with a position of… uh…

      What does she do again besides sell shoes and crush on Justin?

      • Daniel

        Her father has made sure she’s got a lot more than one position.

        • Three Finger Salute

          Ouch. Yeah, that seems plausible. “We have the best chocolate cake at Mar-a-Lago and the best ‘pizza’.”

      • janecita

        She is her father’s “stress reliever.”

      • Amelia Resists and Persists

        Provides advice, mostly by saying “meh, whatever you want to do is cool.”

        • Daniel

          “Daaaad! It would really hurt my bra-and if you did that!”

      • WeaselPoo

        She “architects”.

        • Three Finger Salute

          Sometimes even with synergy and bandwidth.

      • BadKitty904

        I’ve seen no proof, to date, that Iwanka is human, sooo…

      • Covfefe

        Crush on Donald.

      • Darlene Underdahl

        Notice how Marla grabbed Tiffany and ran to California? She knew.

        • Three Finger Salute

          Poor Barron. Melania’s going to get deported if she flips on Donnie, and then who knows what happens to the boy.

          • Daniel

            Slovenia’s very pretty.

    • WeaselPoo

      Women are secretaries and cabinets are in the kitchen, ergo sine qua non hic haec hoc alarums et exeunt (pursued by a bear).

  • WeaselPoo

    The son of President Donald Trump’s disgraced former national security adviser has fallen under investigation for his ties to Russia.

    From Raw Story just now

    • bbayliss

      “Both Mueller’s team and congressional investigators are examining whether the Trump campaign’s digital operation — which was overseen by son-in-law Jared Kushner — helped guide Russia’s sophisticated targeting of social media users.

      The data firm Cambridge Analytica, headed by Trump megadonor Robert Mercer, used personal information harvested from Facebook users to build psychological profiles…”

      • Three Finger Salute

        I hope Mueller brings down not only the Mercers but Zuckerberg too. Nothing would please me more than to see a 404 error at the domain “facebook dot com”.

        • GreyWolfSC

          FB can get voted into a fire. I’ve been reporting those fake accounts for over a year and suddenly they notice it’s a problem? They still close the reports as “nope, Boris’s account is fine” though.

  • Joe Beese

    Six-two and even, they’re selling you out, sonny.

  • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

    At best Dolt would have to order someone else to do the under-the-bus throwing. He’s so out of shape I doubt he can lift his own tiny penis. And, MY GOD, it’s got to be exhausting hauling around that giant fucking chip he has on his shoulder.

  • Crystalclear12

    Trump will stay in office until the Republicans figure out they aren’t going to get what they bargained for from this devil.

    Unfortunately, Republicans are slow learners.

    • BadKitty904

      He’ll stay in office as long as he’s useful to the GOP.

      • Crystalclear12

        Has he been useful?

        • BadKitty904

          He distracts voters and the media from the GOP Congress’ ongoing treachery. So, as Congress’ “dancing monkey,” he’s been very useful.

        • Historicat

          Sure, they look like complete fools and can’t get anything through Congress but they’re stacking the Judiciary with people so right wing they’re downright loony. The only question is how many decades this will set things back – I’m not optimistic.

          Under the commenting rules, I’m allowed to wish that McConnell dies alone some day. When he’s getting close to that point and he manages to whimper, “I’m ready to die,” may a voice whisper to him, “not yet.”

  • BadKitty904
  • bbayliss

    Re: the presser, don’t tax plans ordinarily have numbers?

    • BadKitty904

      Republican tax plans don’t. And won’t, as long as pitchforks can be purchased at Home Deport and torches can be made with household cleaning chemicals.

  • Jeff Mc Donald

    Huh…the obstruction of justice… I don’t know, is that even a thing? I remember another President who said, “When the President does it, that means it’s not illegal”. He was a Republican, Trump is a Republican, ergo, the same must apply! How it worked out for the other guy shouldn’t matter now, that was back in 32 bt (before Twitter).

    • SeeTrain65

      He also had enough sense to get out before the impeachment hearings came down. And brought in a dolt of his own to pardon him.

      • Three Finger Salute

        Then, after all that, we got a breath of fresh air…

        …and decided to smother him for being an actual Christian.

    • laughingnome

      I believe Nixon said that after he resigned in an interview with David Frost . He resigned because he faced impeachment over obstruction and other offenses.

  • rubikcube

    Oh, and do we even have time to crassly speculate about Trump’s chippy girlfriend and the audacity of giving Hope a sweet promotion right under all everybody’s noses and such. I mean… he’s fucking her, right?

    • Three Finger Salute

      the audacity of giving Hope a sweet promotion”

      ISWYDT

  • Vienna Woods

    I tried watching the clip. Fuck SHS is a truly terrible press secretary. But then, CJ spoiled me.

  • UncleTravelingMatt

    For serious — I doubt anything is happening EXCEPT some lawyers are getting nervous. What you are seeing is not lawyers testing defenses; it’s lawyers tossing out crumbs and seeing what comes up to eat them.

    I’ve been through a few large investigations. Some other members of the Wonketariat have as well, I’m sure, so they can correct me if their experiences differ. An investigation involving multiple potential defendants is exhausting for a lawyer. There is a psychological factor that often gets overlooked — lawyers nerves get raw when they don’t know what is going on. Want to terrorize a lawyer? Tell someone something then refuse to tell her what you told them.

    Lawyers trade in information. They have a horror of being kept in the dark. The longer they are kept in the dark, the more nervous they get. They start seeing enemies everywhere. Anyone who doesn’t immediately return a phone call is undoubtedly blabbing to the investigator. Your best friend calls you to see if you’ve been talking to the prosecutor. Some lawyer you’ve never seen before says hello at a bar meeting, and calls you by name, she’s obviously been working out an immunity agreement. It’s fucking exhausting. Meanwhile, your client is calling you sixty-five times a day wanting “an update” and about once a week suggests that maybe if he hired some other lawyer, they could get him some answers.

    If you want information, you either play ball with the prosecutor or you float theories and see which ones gain traction. Ultimately, it comes down to discipline and experience. This investigation is going to go on for months (if not years.) What you are seeing is the first appearance of nervousness among the lawyers. The longer Mueller and his people stay silent, the more cooperation they’ll get from the weaker lawyers.

    • BadKitty904

      The longer Mueller and his people stay silent, the more cooperation they’ll get from the weaker lawyers.

      I can imagine no tactic that is more likely to make Team Trump completely crazy(er).

    • SweetDeeKat

      Also, look at the caliber of the team they are up against. The well of resources they have is bottomless. No way, no how would I ever consider being in their blast zone.

  • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

    OT: The GOP has an iPhone fetish. Pathological, even.

    https://twitter.com/AliceOllstein/status/908000293455056896

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      run Dean, run!

      You’re toast and you know it…

    • Arolpin

      And if you don’t have an iPhone? Die quietly in a gutter?

      • Magyar Has Had It Up To Here

        I just don’t like them. I’m more than happy with my LG

    • jowgajen

      Ok, but lots of people don’t have phones, or just flip phones. In fact iPhones are just 34% of marketshare (lot of iphone 5s and 6s in there, I bet) and only 77% of Americans own a smartphone at all.

      • Ok, but lots of people don’t have phones, or just flip phones

        False. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/27105d97e1ea54d898c015b1f1c2a25c6f82c92a5dead58a9c6620232a2224f2.png

        • Three Finger Salute

          That’s depressing. Now where’s Superman going to change his clothes?

          • Marion in Savannah

            At the Apple store?

        • jowgajen

          Cellphone is now 95%. Smartphone is 77% So the 18% in there is flip phones. See how I do maths good? Which means 5% of people have no cell phone at all, not too far from the analogy where 8% of Americans have no fucking health insurance at all.

          http://www.pewinternet.org/fact-sheet/mobile/

          • Daniel

            If they hadn’t bought those phones maybe they could have health care.

      • BosGrl

        I heard something on NPR this morning; a tech guy saying, there’s no need to get rid of your smart phone unless it breaks, whatever kind you have. Unless you want the best camera, there’s really not a lot of improvement over the last few years. My girls both chose SEs last year because they wanted the headphone jack.

        • jowgajen

          I have a 5 year old HTC One. It’s still great, except I scratched the camera lens and now it can’t take a decent picture. I’m not much of a photographer, but that, and the fact that I’m pretty sure HTC is going to end Android support for the device soon, may be enough to drive me to buy a new phone this fall, maybe the new Pixel2.

          My wife’s iPhone 5s got to nearly 5 years old, but she managed to get it wet in a most embarrassing accident. It’s ok, she kept her Nokia flip phone before that for like 7 years until it couldn’t hold a charge. And now she has a new water resistant iPhone 7 so she should be set for some time.

      • Three Finger Salute

        I don’t have a cell phone. Don’t need one and therefore won’t get one.

        • Marion in Savannah

          We’ve got the cheapest Android phones we could get — just enough to be able to call 911 or AAA if something bad happens on the road and to access news when the power and landline phone goes out.

    • Three Finger Salute

      What’s it say? The GOP has embraced Apple because Apple has learned to not only love Big Brother but become Big Brother?

    • Mormos

      nope. my next phone is a goophone

  • Wolf Tracker

    Hope Hicks being moved up was a bribe to keep her under Trump’s thumb with executive privilege so she can’t spill the beans to Mueller.

    Preibus, Spicey and Trump’s white house attorney are most likely to cut a deal to avoid prison.

    Chatter on the hill is Jared and Ivanka want to resign and their lawyers are pressuring them to resign and make a deal to save their own sorry asses.

    More shit on Flynn about his Russian deals is going to splash back on Trump.

    OK that is my wild speculation for the day.

    • Covfefe

      Secret. Donald is low energy. Moved Hope up to keep her on top. OK, that’s my wild speculation for the day.

  • BadKitty904

    The time’s coming for Donnie, Kushner, Goebbels, et al., to “hunker down” in the bunker…

    • Daniel

      With votes.

    • yyyaz

      Hunker in the bunker has a titillating ring to it.

      • BadKitty904

        Hmm. That’d be a great name for a dance party, actually…

        • Magyar Has Had It Up To Here

          Or a sex club

      • Daniel

        Just no matter how tempted you are, don’t take pills with Blondie.

        • BearDeLaOursistance

          Almond them, Katie!!

  • RMKH

    While the drumbeat seems to be ramping up, there’s been so much hope for so long that I’ll believe it when I see it

    • Three Finger Salute

      Patience grasshopper. Rather than rush into a half-assed job, we want to see ALL OF THEM KATIE ending up with crossed eyes and striped tees.

    • Darlene Underdahl

      Me too. Anything could happen.

  • Relativicus

    I think the lawyering up is more tied to Mueller informing the WH he wants to interview staffers, but I’m game for a bout of administration crushing Fake News if you are.

  • Jack Had A Permit

    MSNBC is reporting that Mike Flynn’s kid is now a subject of Special Council Russia Probe seemingly focused on his work with his father’s lobbying group. Hmmmmm.

  • WotsAllThisThen

    I love the smell of flop sweat in the morning. Smells like… indictments.

  • Th’ottest curry in th’ouse

    That’s a spicy meatball!
    Also too is it just me or has the hucka-spokes-persona been layering on the Maybeline a bit more thickly recently?

    • BosGrl

      Like I didn’t hear THAT all through my childhood…

    • BearDeLaOursistance

      Maybe. But when it comes to the derp, she was definitely born with it.

  • cheetojeebus

    So many omens. Just today I saw a peach at the grocery store that looked like a heyhey and you know what that portends.

    • BadKitty904

      Odd you mention that. I looked up on the way back from lunch and the moon was clearly visible in the post-noontide sky…

      • cheetojeebus

        [shudder.]

        • BadKitty904

          Signs and wonders, people…

    • yyyaz

      Sweet, juicy sexytimes with a cobbler?

    • BadKitty904

      In the most high and palmy state of Rome,
      A little ere the mightiest Julius fell,
      The graves stood tenantless and the sheeted dead
      Did squeak and gibber in the Roman streets…

    • thewalkindude
      • GreyWolfSC

        Great, now the dinosaurs are dying. What next?!

        • thewalkindude

          It’s so sad to see them lying in the street like that…

          • Creepoman

            In a no parking zone, no less.

          • Rags

            Actually, it appears to be in employee parking. It must have committed a fireable offense.

          • thewalkindude

            Well, in his defense, most of him is in the “employee parking” slot

          • thewalkindude

            In his defense, most of him is in the “employee parking” slot

        • Beanz&Berryz

          End Times.

  • OT: I called it 12 years ago…

    Tattoos are unhealthy.
    https://www.theguardian.com/fashion/2017/sep/12/tattoo-ink-contaminants-lymph-nodes

    • Three Finger Salute

      Ew. Glad I never got into any of that. I don’t even have my ears pierced.

    • BadKitty904

      Great. I have two, including one big ‘un.

    • TJ Barke

      So?

      • Three Finger Salute

        Lymphoma isn’t exactly a hangover worthy of a “so what”. For the life of me I will never understand why anyone wants to go to a place and get a needle stuck in their flesh to draw some often poorly-designed replica of clip art with toxic ink. I get worried when I accidentally nick my hand with a gel pen, never mind intentionally injecting it under your skin.

        Bad enough the opinion is split on the aesthetic appeal. I personally think they’re awful, that they detract points off from otherwise attractive people who turn themselves into walking coloring books — rock stars, athletes and, yes, the Canadian PM. But now come to find out they’re strongly linked to a very serious form of cancer? To each their own, fine, but don’t pretend like it’s harmless. Smoking was a cool Hollywood thing to do too, until everyone found out how many people it killed.

        • NastyBossetti

          That article doesn’t say anything about tattoos being “strongly linked” to “a very serious form of cancer.” It says now that they know some particles make their way into lymph nodes, “the next step is to look for evidence of adverse effects, including inflammation.”
          The other article linked at the bottom about cancer-causing chemicals in tattoo ink says, “this doesn’t necessarily mean those ingredients are dangerous to human health.”

          • The other article linked at the bottom about cancer-causing chemicals in tattoo ink says, “this doesn’t necessarily mean those ingredients are dangerous to human health.”

            OTOH, there is no logical reason to assume injecting carcinogenic chemicals into your body is “completely harmless”.

          • NastyBossetti

            That’s true. I never said it was harmless, but neither of the articles strongly linked tattoos to lymphoma, which is the assertion I was responding to. They both said more research is needed.

        • TJ Barke

          I’ve yet to hear of an epidemic of lymphoma among the tattooed. based on what I just read, it basically sounds like more regulatory oversight of ink and the ingredients therein is necessary to prevent the use of more harmful chemicals. which could cause serious health concerns.
          It’s not like there have been millions of people tattooed for centuries where such a pattern couldn’t have been easily established or anything…
          You know, like how it was easily established that there’s a link between smoking and numerous diseases…

        • Claire

          The article doesn’t even mention lymphoma, let alone link tattoo ink to it.

    • Wolf Tracker

      Depends on the tat. Having BITCH on your neck or a Swastika on your forehead could be very unhealthy.

      Oh- you meant the tattoo process.

      Never mind…

    • NastyBossetti

      Somehow, I don’t think it will be the tattoos that do me in.

    • Daniel
    • Mehmeisterjr

      “When someone wants to get a tattoo, they are often vary [sic] careful in choosing a parlour where they use sterile needles,” said co-author Hiram Castillo, a researcher at the European Synchrotron Radiation Facility in Grenoble, France.

      “No one checks the chemical composition of the colours, but our study shows that maybe they should.”

      Mr. Castillo talks with the restraint and caution of a scientist. I’ve never gotten a tat and the only way I might get one is if Trump decides to emulate his hero and open concentation camps.

    • SeeTrain65

      All my tattoos are temps. Out of Cracker Jack bags.

  • Zippy W Pinhead

    from Silly Sarah today…

    This president has done more for bipartisanship in the last 8 days than Obama did in the last 8 years,” she said. “I’m basing that on the fact that he’s actually willing to sit down with members of the opposite party, something President Obama rarely did.”

    SMH

    • yyyaz

      I’d rather shake her head.

    • Johnny Appleseed

      I thought he tried and they refused.

      • cmd resistor

        Didn’t they even refuse to go to Obama’s Super Bowl Party?

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        I actually remember numerous meetings. He invited the entire House one time. The wingnuts were shrieking and sniveling about how that traitor Boehner was always having meetings with the Kenyan usurper or worse yet playing golf with him. He met with several different bipartisan groups from both the House and Senate as well. Sarah is lying out her big dumb ass…

        • Johnny Appleseed

          Oh, then I’ll put on my “I’m shocked. And appalled. I’m shocked AND appalled look”!

          Whaaaaaaa? (Chris Griffin)

      • puredog

        FAKE NEWS!

      • IdRatherBeDancing

        He tried repeatedly but old lop-eyes would rather tell the lie because it provides better spin.

        • Johnny Appleseed

          True. The truth can harm their fragile minds (IF any).

    • MrTusks

      DISTRACT. DISTRACT. DISTRACT.

    • Opalescent Riddles

      That’s just begging for a fact check and questions about it at the next presser, including “do you believe it is the Press Secretary’s job to lie to the American People about such easily researched facts?”

    • SeeTrain65

      Lies of omission are still lies, Sarah.

      I guess Daddy never taught you that.

  • Blackest Noobs

    the truthiness of this feels like a crime was committed and those involved should be prosecuted to the fullest of the law.

    the truth is those who are guilty will probably get away with it.

    and unlike Republicans, we don’t go on truthiness, we are about truths.

  • BadKitty904

    Donnie is…

    Like one, that on a lonely road
    Doth walk in fear and dread,
    And having once turn’d round, walks on
    And turns no more his head:
    Because he knows, a frightful fiend
    Doth close behind him tread.

    • Me not sure

      Burma-Shave.

  • Jack Had A Permit

    There’s been a school shooting in Rockport, WA, at Freeman High. 1 dead, 3 injured. suspect detained.

    • Three Finger Salute

      “It’s not a good time to talk about gun control…”

      • Magyar Has Had It Up To Here

        Too soon. Why would you sully the memories of the dead by associating them with gun violence.

        • Three Finger Salute

          We shouldn’t be unnecessarily politicizing a tragedy. What we really need to do is move on and get back to work on what’s important right now: tax cuts.

      • chicken thief

        Thoughts and prayers.

        ~ Official NRA comment

    • cmd resistor

      Ugh. And I missed, due to hurricane stuff, that some guy shot up a football watching party at his estranged wife’s place and killed a bunch of people. In Texas, a couple of days ago.

      • Jeffery Campbell

        Oh, goddamn it!

      • SDGeoff3

        It wasn’t widely publicized. MY munneys are on “‘cuz it were white folks.” In Texas. Watching a football game. At home.

    • cheetojeebus
    • puredog

      I was just in Concrete WA a couple of weeks ago. Seemed placid, then.

  • geoffalnutt

    Bunny and Clod have become mere skid marks in the Underoos of life. Sad.

  • Jennifer R
  • Baconzgood

    It takes a highly skilled investigator like Mueller to connect the dots on this Trump-Russia thing. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/fce87f4f7e1051383b95c480f8e12a129b86e28a2e3a260e05e9b057a910bb4d.png

    • puredog

      Needs moar slime trail.

  • Mormos

    when this is all over, who actually does time?

    • Wolf Tracker

      Flynn and Manafort are likely to get some time.

      Some of Trumps staff that obstructed justice may get time if he doesn’t pardon them.

      Trump and kids might have to be charged at the state level

    • Suse

      NOT, K

    • jesterpunk

      AOT,K?

    • Jeffery Campbell

      None of them, Katie. And I’m gonna be really, really, really pissed off.

    • eastcoastlib

      I’ll take Michael Flynn for $1000 Alex.

  • BadKitty904

    Sic ‘im, Bobby!

    … Still with unhurrying chase,
    And unperturbèd pace,
    Deliberate speed, majestic instancy,
    Came on the following feet,
    And America’s Voice above their beat—
    ‘Naught shelters thee, who hast betrayed Me.’

    (With apologies to Francis Thompson)

    • Daniel

      Upvoted for Francis Thompson.

      • BadKitty904

        Sister Rose loved his poem, The Hound of Heaven, and made us memorize parts of it…

        • Daniel

          I memorized the whole thing after hearing a biography of him on the radio, and later wrote it out in calligraphy on my ex’s back (at her request).

          • BadKitty904

            I’m not sure how Sister Rose would feel about that…

          • Daniel

            Thompson was a morphine addict who tried to kill himself by walking into the road after taking one last dose, and was saved by a kindly prostitute who pulled him out from under a carriage before it could fully kill him, nursed him back to health. He did this because the publisher he’d sent his poems to hadn’t responded for months, and he thought he’d been rejected. As it happens, they’d redecorated the offices and the book had fallen behind a filing cabinet- but as he was recovering the book was found, and later published, and he became a celebrated poet who went on to write a lot about cricket.

            I talk a lot.

          • BadKitty904

            I would watch that movie.

          • CripesAmighty

            Ah dun lernt sumthin, raht heah.

          • chicken thief

            Wonkette is full of lurnin stuff some even in the comment section that they don’t allow no comments in.

          • Mehmeisterjr

            Only imagine how all larned-up we’d be if Wonkette allowed comments!

          • Lord Jim

            Keep talking. :)

          • Beanz&Berryz

            That’s alot of pain that would have been spared if he’d just made a phone call… if they had phones then…

          • eastcoastlib

            And here I thought the prostitute with a heart of gold was a Hollywood myth

          • puredog

            Actual tattoos or GTFO

    • Marion in Savannah

      Kind of like me, a native NYC person, fleeing Trump:


      I FLED Him, down the nights and down the days;
      I fled Him, down the arches of the years;
      I fled Him, down the labyrinthine ways
      Of my own mind; and in the mist of tears
      I hid from Him…

  • Suse
  • Bitter Scribe

    The White House is now using the kettle defense. (I didn’t borrow that kettle from my neighbor. And there wasn’t any crack in it when I gave it back. And it already had that crack when he loaned it to me.) Attention WH: It never works.

    • Three Finger Salute

      They’re already using another kettle defense.

      Jeffy Reb is still calling potheads black.

  • Wolf Tracker

    Mueller Probe Has ‘Red-Hot’ Focus on Social Media, Officials Say

    Russia’s effort to influence U.S. voters through Facebook and other social media is a “red-hot” focus of special counsel Robert Mueller’s investigation into the 2016 election and possible links to President Donald Trump’s associates, according to U.S. officials familiar with the matter.

    Mueller’s team of prosecutors and FBI agents is zeroing in on how Russia spread fake and damaging information through social media and are seeking additional evidence from companies like Facebook and Twitter about what happened on their networks, said one of the officials, who asked not to be identified discussing the ongoing investigation.

    https://finance.yahoo.com/news/mueller-probe-red-hot-focus-170248551.html

  • BadKitty904
  • whitroth

    Damn well better. If something doesn’t start in the next couple of weeks, I owe a friend $5 – I was saying he’d be on his way out by the end of Sept.

    Oh, and remember that long-time business partner of Trumpo’s, Seten? who had been an informant before, after arrest and conviction, and was saying in a couple of weeks he’d be all over the media?

    And one lawyer with two clients in the same investigation? That’s either conflict of interest… or the two of them together are flipping.

    The rats are looking at each other… and at the lifeboats and life preservers! Happy, happy, joy joy

    Down, down, down, into that burnin’ ring o’ fahre….

  • bubbuhh
    • SDGeoff3

      Moose and squirrel will be avenged for this.

  • Sheepshagger

    Here’s an interesting document that doesn’t get much play. Felix Saters father, indicted for mafia rackets in Brighton Beach by……Loretta Lynch. https://www.scribd.com/mobile/document/322265830/Indictment-of-Felix-Sater-s-father-for-extortion

    • Viktor

      Mother Jones just did a story on how Trump lied about Russian business ties during the campaign, yet had Felix Sater writing him emails about Ivanka sitting in Putin’s chair photo ops and Trumps kissing Putin butt in the media, hoping to build a Trump Tower Moscow.

  • CripesAmighty

    If anyone’s interested, there’s a James Woods wannabe over at the Medicare-for-all thread if you want to bat it about for a bit.

  • Viktor

    Will Jeff Sessions have to recuse himself if the DOJ investigates Comey? Ask Sarah Hucksterbee that. Her face will contort 5 different ways trying to make up an answer that pleases Trump.

  • bluicebank

    Mueller in the article is described as “haunting” the White House, and also “burrowing,” and the White House is “spooked.”

    Look, WH staffers, if you have a burrowing spectre, “spooked” ain’t going to cut it. You got to GET OUT OF THE HOUSE. That’s a Mueller Event, off the electroplasmic gauge. In fact, you’re probably already dead.

  • BearDeLaOursistance

    You know shit is real when “also too” becomes “also too as well”. If I see “also too as well in addition”, that will be my signal to retreat into my den after stocking up on insulin, prosecco, those cakes we like, rugby players, whipped cream, rugby players, French ticklers, and rugby players.

    I will also accept “Friday” as a signal.

    • JustDon’tSayDignity

      I kinda want to take credit for “also too, as well” but I’ve only been not commenting here for a little over a year. I may just think I typed it first.

      • Beanz&Berryz

        Thinking something is so is good enough for alot of people, including the President…

        • george lastrapes

          Strumpet’s problem is worse than narcissism: solipsism.
          Usually defined as a philosophical perspective, the idea that only the perceiver is real, the world and other people phantasmagoria or clever plastic facsimiles. One would have to think oneself into that.
          Or, one could be born with the right mix of nature and nurture so as to bring about an implicit version of the same. Psycho/socio-pathic and priveleged.

          • Beanz&Berryz

            Interesting! That’s gonna need to bounce around in the noggin for awhile for enough of it to soak in… But the first thought is… Does a falling tree in the woods make a sound if no-one is there to hear it?

          • george lastrapes

            Say it falls on a hearing-impaired bear, which, dying, farts loudly enough to be heard from the nearest town. What then?

          • Beanz&Berryz

            Well… I had thought of tossing in the bear, too, but couldn’t remember if bear shit was also too a philosophical conundrum or a cliched spin on a philosophical conundrum. That’s the problem when your last philosophy class was in 1978…

          • george lastrapes

            Just remember: a philosophical conundrum, or indeed any conundrum, will not prevent pregnancy or STD’s. And conundrums are useless at drum circles.

      • There are no comments allowed here.

    • chicken thief

      Needs moar liquor. And rugby players also too as well additionally also.

      • Rags

        And scientificistic weatherman bowlers also too in addition to along with loaded on top of.

      • SqueakyRat

        Besides.

    • Last Hussar

      I have played rugby… My girlfriend also likes rugby.

      In other news ‘rugby’ and ‘kinky sex’ are interchangeable.

      • Beanz&Berryz

        See: scrum

    • Opalescent Riddles

      And plus in addition also too as well.

    • Peggy Ryan

      pick up some cedar cheese also too

  • puredog

    I wish that common aminal Mueller would start biting someone.

    • First he has to git the hydrophobia.

      • Dinz6315

        Yew spelt that rong. It’s hydrophobee…

  • Monsieur_Grumpe

    Smell that? Smells like loaded diapers.

  • William
  • IdRatherBeDancing

    Hollering like a pissed off Arkansas Hoot Owl — now that made me laugh and I will work my best to use it in the future.

  • Poly_Ester

    Those WH staffers are going to need raises so they can afford their lawyers.

  • TimResistit

    “Benjamin Wittes starts posting “GO BOOM!”

    He has about an hour ago….and linked this:

    https://www.wsj.com/articles/flynn-promoted-nuclear-plant-project-while-in-white-house-1505328226

    • obadiahorthodox

      you have to buy a subscription to read the article.

      • Zyxomma

        You can link from Benjamin Wittes twitter account and read it free. I did.

    • The Flaming Carrot

      Guardian does not have a paywall. But the fact that it also appears in the WSJ is significant. https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2017/sep/13/michael-flynn-promoted-us-russian-nuclear-project-from-white-house

      • Mike Steele

        Thanks for link! Guardian article also credits Md’s pride, Elijah Cummings, with being right on top of things, as always. Can’t get nothin’ past that good ole boy.

        • Résistance Land Shark Ω

          Please thank Representative “Badass” Cummings for all of us.

  • Upright Ape

    But if Jared the K is rotting in the slammer, how will the Middle East ever find peace, the opioid epidemic get solved, improve diplomacy toward Mexico, improve diplomacy toward China, er, “re-imagining veteran’s affairs”get re-imagined, reform the criminal justice system, and “reinvent government and make it run like a business”? Who gonna do all the shit assigned to the K?
    (I just Googled “things jared” and smartypants google filled in the rest)

  • Kurt Weil

    And I thought from the headline that Evan had renounced his potty-mouthed ways.

    Also, my mom is a total cougar and goes through lawyers faster than lube at the Miami White Party. She’s always a’lawyer’in up.

    • Unsaintific

      Oookay….

  • To be fair, I totally believe that James Comey farts and leaves the room.

    • Rags

      I know for an actual fact that he has been in SEVERAL rooms!

      • Cheri Sears

        And I know for an actual fact he has left those rooms! He’s probably in a room and going to leave it right now! He’s so guilty…

      • Johnny Appleseed

        Carpet bombing?

    • Persistent Tennessee Rain

      Who among us doesn’t?

    • Smibo

      IKR? The guy has “crop duster” written all over his face.

      P.S. / Pro tip for the next time you’re posing in a group photo where everyone is holding badly faked smiles: fart loudly right before the camera clicks, when everyone is trying to hold still (and thus cannot get away). I guarantee the photo will capture everyone in it with genuine mirth on their face, in that split-second after they realize that their stoicism has been undone by your evil plot, but before they can muster an expression of righteous indignation. Success!

  • eastcoastlib

    This will take some time. First Mueller has to interview everyone and then he’s got to analyze which liar to roast over the fire first. Assuming one or more fold like a lawn chair, he will have to get them to spill their guts to a grand jury. Then and only then will everyone get to Mueller boners.

    • John Thorstensen

      Cruz says that’s illegal.

  • Aileen

    There seems to be a direct correlation between major developments in the investigation and Trump shitting out an especially hateful or terrifying tweet or two. When Manafort got raided by the FBI, Trump announced he was banning transgendered people from serving in the military. I refuse to follow Trump on Twitter because it is important to keep my blood pressure and rage to a minimum these days, but it will be interesting to see what distractions he tries throwing out in the next little bit.

    • CripesAmighty

      They’re far more digestible when we can laugh along with Joy Reid as she ridicules the latest Twitter inanity.

    • TootsStansbury

      Instead of “Winter is coming” it’s “Friday is coming”.

    • george lastrapes

      Like nuking NKorea?

      • Aileen

        Exaaaaactly.

  • JustPretendImNotHere

    So a little birdie told me back in Feb/March to “watch what happens to Flynn”. Now we have news that Flynn Jr is also in Mueller’s sights and with the WSJ story referenced below, I’m beginning to think that little birdie can carry a tune…

    • Old Man Yells at Cloud

      The real question is what will Flynn Jr be singing and about whom.

  • Snopes Shop

    I never thought I could hate another woman as much as I hate SuckaSanders

    • John Thorstensen

      What about Kellyanne Conway? She seems even worse to me.

      • KAC is oodles worse.
        Suckabee hadn’t an even chance, all things being equal. Brainwashing is a hell of a drug and she does as she is told to do.
        KAC on the other hand, gave us alternative facts and does this shit on purpose because she wants to do it.

        • Johnny Appleseed

          Trump to KAC: “Say something outrageously stupid to keep your job”. And she does.

      • Husband Of Mrs God

        Don’t have cable. Has KAC been showing her face and vocalizing again?
        Is she the backup Bannon? She was sent in there with him by the Mercers. Then there’s Rebekah Mercer, also inside, not idle.

      • CovfefeOfTheThoughtlessMind

        When Conway wings it, it’s a pure trip (bummer) on the brown acid.

    • HooverVilles

      6 of one orhalf a dozen of another;
      SuckaSanders or Kellyanne CONway

  • Husband Of Mrs God

    That facial expression on the man in Figure 1 — with the tongue protruding a little bit — is that a medical symptom?

    • paxpax

      tardive dyskinesia

      • Husband Of Mrs God

        I have heard of that. Mrs God might have told me, but she’s asleep just now. Thanks!

    • Old Man Yells at Cloud

      Its a muscle exercise that is part of his “holstering practice”

  • So…..
    I am curious which red meat for the base but does nothing tweet edict Trump will be doing tonight.
    What is the over under on declaring martial law in states that legalized?

  • I’m just hoping Muller’s Justice League can handle all the crap that’s coming down!

    • Parakeetist

      Get him a cape.

  • Politics_Nerd

    :::My entry for deleted comment of the week contest:::

    If you artickulit folks stopped cussing so much in headlines and other copy, perhats you’d get more donations from readers (including myself). It certainly couldn’t hert, and might elevate yer credibility game uh bit?

    *Above select misspellings are intentional and for comedic effect. #thecontest

    • HazooToo

      Wait, there’s a contest? TELL ME MORE!

      • Politics_Nerd

        Perhaps pay a bit closer attention to things…. :)

        • HazooToo

          But efforrrrrrrrrrrt…

          • Politics_Nerd

            Reminder: Sloth is a deadly sin. :)

          • HazooToo

            Ok, can you give me a hint what I should have paid attention to?

          • Politics_Nerd
          • ez
          • LadyLaz

            Am I the only one who finds sloths terrifying?

          • ez

            Kyle Reese: Listen, and understand. That Sloth is out there. It
            can’t be bargained with. It can’t be reasoned with. It doesn’t feel
            pity, or remorse, or fear. And it absolutely will not stop, ever, until
            you are dead.

          • ez

            I think Kyle Reese said it best in “The Terminator: “Listen, and understand. That Sloth is out there. It can’t be bargained with. It can’t be reasoned with. It doesn’t feel pity, or remorse, or fear. And it absolutely will not stop, ever, until you are dead”.

            The good news is you can out walk him.

          • CovfefeOfTheThoughtlessMind

            Yes.

          • Petunia Cat

            Someone I know on Twitter is totally grossed out by then. Also moths. I know this because she tweeted that she suddenly seen on television a sloth covered in moths. 😳😵🤢 <- her response.

            I however LOVE sloths! They are little sweet babies. With their happy little smiles. And in documentaries about nature sanctuary they're always hugging stuffed animals. 😍

          • LadyLaz

            Maybe I need to watch more sloth documentaries

          • Petunia Cat

            There’s a good one for free on YouTube. I think it’s the one about Velcro. That’s the sloths name. 🙂

          • CovfefeOfTheThoughtlessMind

            Oh my God! The sloths are after me and I was running, but then, just like in the movies, I fell and broke my ankle, and now they’re catching up and I can’t run because I broke my ankle, and they’re getting closer … and closer … and closer … aaaaaaaaggghhhhhh!

  • Lefty Wright

    I wish it were correct, but with all the various scams and criminal acts Trump and his minions are likely involved in, I doubt they could really get it all together well enough to take anything to trial right now. It’s like a 10,000 piece jigsaw puzzles and they are still missing about 3,000 pieces. But they are working in from all four corners and a clear picture is starting to emerge. They know that they will get most of those additional 3,000, plenty to take it to court. Trump and his defense are checking with people who have been interviewed or subpoenaed, and have heard from people who have had records requested. The various defense teams are the ones now that see the noose tightening. Mueller, meanwhile, is not talking. He has a professional staff and leaks are few. But you cannot really tell someone who has been interviewed they cannot talk to their boss.In this case, it will not do any good except give you nightmares. And I’m OK with that since it is Trump staff.

    • Petunia Cat

      Lovely. That was very useful. I’m absolutely convinced that at a certain point as the noose as you say tightens Trump is just going to resign. The main thing I want to see is Trump, Pence too, out of the White House. Once he’s out of the White House then I’ll start slavering for his conviction. 😌

  • Pierre_de_Fermat

    Yeah, a lot of talk about something going on. Some combination of FlynnJR( http://talkingpointsmemo.com/livewire/michael-flynn-jr-mocks-reports-federal-investigation-nothingburger ), FaceBook ( http://talkingpointsmemo.com/edblog/facebooks-heading-toward-a-bruising-run-in-with-the-russia-probe ), Twitter Bots ( http://talkingpointsmemo.com/muckraker/russian-trolls-tea-party-news-twitter-account ) and more. With SH Sanders suggesting people be arrested or charged or fired depending…

    And Susan Hennessey at Lawfare:

    Now investigators are interested in the Kushner-Bannon secret UAE meeting. So basically every part of this episode has backfired on Nunes. https://t.co/90jTI5jSpS— Susan Hennessey (@Susan_Hennessey) September 13, 2017

    Tom Nichols:

    I've been critical of Maddow's discursive discussions of Russia stuff, but her walk-through of the Flynn history just now was very good.— Tom Nichols (@RadioFreeTom) September 14, 2017

  • JohnnieWHurwitz

    Boost your earnings on Google & make $99/hour by working from a home computer.
    on friday I bought a gorgeous Chrysler when I got my check for $9277 this munth. it’s actualy the most comfortable job Ive ever had . I actually started seven months/ago and almost straight away got over $99, per/hr . check
    !si293d:
    ➽➽
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  • James Baskin

    Cue Dragnet music…… dunt du duuuuuuu

  • Casual Observer

    YAY. LAWYERS GETTING PAID!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • peteywheats

    Trump is a White Supremacist. Let’s hate him instead of Bernie Sanders, mmmmkay?

    • bardgal

      After Bernie releases his taxes, mmmmkay?

      • peteywheats

        even though Trump, the president, has also not released his taxes, you still would rather hate on Bernie. That says quite a bit about you.

  • Ranina

    Lawyers everywhere must be feeling pretty good right now. The profession has been in an economic slump for awhile, but now there’s a lot of litigation goin’ on. And a lot of defendin’ to do….

  • Sharon Cooper

    Who’s got popcorn?

    • Petunia Cat

      🍿🍿🍿🍿🍿 😊

  • Villago Delenda Est

    I still believe the Army should recall Flynn’s traitor ass back to active duty and court martial him, stripping him of his rank and pension and VA benefits.

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