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It is Hillary Clinton Day and all the neoliberal shills are so scited! They are like, touch us with a Bad Touch, Hillary Clinton, we are wearing vagina hats and are into you in a sexual manner! They are tweeting things like this picture of a Union Square Barnes and Noble

and pictures of “look Hillary Clinton sent us pizza, nom nom nom!” Aw, that is cute!

And then Hillary Clinton herself was all “emoji” and “I know youngs eat delicious pizza because Gawker once spent HOURS determining how much campaigns paid for pizza, after it decided it was going to eat Wonkette’s ‘politics’ lunch, what, Wonkette is still here? Nobody saw THAT coming.”

So that was cute! We wouldn’t have known about it without this nice Mashable post, Hillary fans were sent pizza by none other than Clinton herself. Thanks Mashable! Cute!

And here is how Mashable ended its cute post:

How nice of her to selflessly send pizza to the shivering masses. No ulterior motive there, no sir.

On the other hand, who cares about ulterior motives when you have a pizza.

You guys, Mashable figured it out. Hillary didn’t just send pizza because she has more money than God and it was a cute, sweet thing to do. She did it SO PEOPLE WOULD LIKE HER. You know, the people who are sleeping on the sidewalk the night before her book reading like they are waiting for tickets to Smashmouth. Those people, who are camping out for her book reading, PROBABLY were fair to middling on her at best until she sprang for the extra pineapple.

Here are some important questions we have pondered lately:

Why is Hillary Clinton walking in the woods when she should be leading the Resistance?

Why is Hillary Clinton trying to lead the Resistance when she should shut up and go walk in the woods?

Why won’t Hillary Clinton explain all the ways she was bad in the campaign?

Why is Hillary Clinton trying to write a book about the campaign?

Why is Hillary Clinton always blaming sexism?

Why is Hillary Clinton such a bitch?

And now, in a post dumb enough Chris Cillizza could have written it, why is Hillary Clinton so selfish and corrupt?

We mean this in an ungendered, British sort of way: some people just are silly twats.

Buy Hillary Clinton’s book here and Wonkette gets like a penny! Wonkette is bought and paid for Shills For Hillz, except for the paid for part. You, reader! Pay us!

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  • ManchuCandidate

    Ray’s Finest, Original Ray’s Finest or Ray’s Original Finest?

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Meanwhile her fans in SoCal are impatiently waiting for her to schedule a signing down here. Come on, Hillz, winning Orange County for the Dems for the first time since the Great Depression has to count for something, right!

    • Gayer Than Thou

      …winning Orange County for the Dems for the first time since the Great Depression has to count for something…
      It does – it proves she’s just as bad as Trump, and maybe worse!

  • BearGHAZI

    Damn Manhattan elitists with their fucking child molestation ring pizza

  • OneYieldRegular

    During her D.C. stop, I so hope she orders tons of pizza from Comet Ping Pong just to f*ck with her enemies.

    • GoutMachine

      That would be perfect given it’s on the same block as the best bookstore in town (Politics & Prose).

  • Mpeg

    … Smashmouth is still a thing? I couldn’t get enough of them back in the day.

    *ducks*

  • kaydenpat

    I love that Secretary Clinton has kept herself in the public eye. We (the Resistance) need her voice. All hands on deck.

  • GoutMachine

    This pizza came from the Comet basement, right?

  • jesuswasablack

    What happened to that long walk in the woods anyway?

  • Covfefe

    Don’t want to be a trouble-maker, but are we talking about Union Square in New York or San Francisco? Or Grand Rapids?

    • Rachel Book Harlot

      Nueva York.

      • Arolpin

        Yeah, those Noo Yawkers are certainly shivering in line, since it’s only 80 degrees out.

  • Bananas Foster

    It’s a testimony to her stability that she hasn’t just totally lost her shit, moved to Tibet and written,”Eat Slay Vote.”

    • GoutMachine

      I would read that book.

      • Angela Ruzzo

        Me too. Also, I want the poster on my wall. Who would play her in the movie version?

        • Bananas Foster

          Glenn Close?

          • Roadstergal

            Helen Mirren?

          • Angela Ruzzo

            Good idea. Meryl Streep would probably jump at the chance.

          • pstokk

            Christopher Walken.

        • Gayer Than Thou

          Poehler. Or Witherspoon.

  • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

    So where’s the 6-hour long-form dissection of what toppings Clinton picked, and what that says about her?

    • Mr. Blobfish

      Pizza sauce is red so communist

    • wide_stance_hubby

      Extra large ped-o-roni, obvs.

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      The problem isn’t which toppings she picked. The problem is how she picked them. — Chris Cilizza

      • SweetDeeKat

        It’s about ethics in topping selection.

      • JustPretendImNotHere

        He’s getting trashed on Twitter right now and I loves it.

        I may even sign up for that dammed thing just to tell him to go fornicate himself.

    • Spurning Beer

      Pork and veal, obvs

  • Covfefe’s Evil Twin

    I know it’s been said about Barry, but seriously, if HRC cured cancer David Broder would come back from the dead just to whine about how many research jobs she has cost.

    • John Thorstensen

      Hey. Both sides do it!

  • Joe Beese

    “New iPhone” announcement underway. Hundreds of millions of dollars at stake!

    • Angela Ruzzo

      What’s an iPhone? (I’m kidding, I know what it is, I just don’t care.)

      • Joe Beese

        Among a not-small segment of tech people, this is bigger than Taylor Swift and Beyonce releasing a duet.

        • Angela Ruzzo

          Yes, I realize that, but I don’t listen to Taylor Swift and Beyonce either. I live on the fringe of American culture, by choice.

        • Arolpin

          Among a not-small segment of finance people, this is bigger than a Fed rate hike. (Apple sells ~200million iPhones a year, assume that the average cost is $500 each, and that Apple makes $50 on each one, that’s $100 billion in profit, which is quite a bit of money, even in Wall St circles.)

        • puredog

          Or a porn tape. I’d watch that.

    • Mr. Blobfish

      The $1,000 iPhone?

      • Joe Beese

        The iPhone X.

        The X stands for “expensive”.

        • Msgr_MΩment

          X stands for Ted-Cruz approved.

        • Gayer Than Thou

          X-tra X-pensive.

        • puredog

          X stand for ten hundred Ameros.

    • Wolf Tracker

      I still have an old flip phone from 2003 I hardly use.

      Just don’t see the point when I have unlimited internet at home.

      • Angela Ruzzo

        Me too. 95% of the time it is turned off and in a drawer. I only use it when I am traveling. I like my land line.

        • Wolf Tracker

          I ran a business where I made 40-50 calls a day and that is all I used because the battery would last me a long time.

          Now it sits for months unused because I contact people by email.

    • Raan

      Oh boy, I can’t wait to see how long it takes for the first screen to shatter!

    • Nockular cavity

      Betcha don’t see Apple sending pizza to the people waiting in line.

  • President in Exile Firefly

    I’ve said it before–Hillary is like the Chicago Cubs (pre 2016) of politicians.

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      She’s the last politician to get lights?

      • Msgr_MΩment

        She’s owned by racists?*

        *I don’t know my sportsball good.

        • UncleTravelingMatt

          That would explain her notoriously shabby treatment of Andre Dawson.

      • Raan

        There was a joke about her winning in Back to the Future Part II?

  • Antonin Dvorak

    Sorry to interrupt, but I have electricity for the first time since Sunday. I just wanted to check in and say we are all just fine. I took some property damage, my fence, shed, and one tree all have to be removed, and I have to re-screen everything; but other than that we survived intact. I hope my fellow Floridians check in soon; but I gotta go rake like crazy.

    • Skwerl the Nazi Puncher

      woot!

    • Mr. Blobfish

      Dude

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Godspeed, Sir!
      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kdtLuyWuPDs
      Oops. I always get my Bohemian composers befuddled.

      • Angela Ruzzo

        That’s one of my top 10 favorite classical pieces. I had a CD of it in my alarm clock, it came on very quietly and slowly got louder, and woke me up so pleasantly. I got to play this piece once in college orchestra, it’s not easy.

    • BosGrl

      Glad you’re OK!!!

    • Wolf Tracker

      Glad you are OK and the rest can be fixed.

    • arglebargle

      Florida man!

      • VirginiaWTalbert

        Google pays now $99 to each worker for working on computer.You can also avail this.
        on sunday I got a great new Ford Mustang from having made $9388 this – 5 weeks past . it’s certainly my favourite-job Ive ever done . I actually started 6 months ago and almost immediately started bringin in more than $99 per-hour . look at here
        !su295d:
        ➽➽
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    • Angela Ruzzo

      Huzzah! Isn’t electricity great? We don’t appreciate it fully until it is gone.

    • SisterArtemis

      Good luck, and good health!

    • Bub, the cynical zombie

      Very glad to hear it.

    • puredog

      Raking in the FEMAbucks?
      Seriously, glad you’re okay.

    • Parakeetist

      Yay me too except I don’t have a rake

    • persistently_resistant_gayby

      That is great news! So glad you’re safe and still with us. :)

  • Skwerl the Nazi Puncher

    “That pizza was posioned with mind control drugs…”

    from the wingnutosphere in 3…2…

    • Angela Ruzzo

      “Mind control drugs”. . . Uh, I think that’s called pepperoni. Pepperoni is so delicious it fucks with your mind, and that’s why I love it.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      That’s how Kelly is controlling Donald. Poisoned KFC.

  • Msgr_MΩment

    Pix of pizza rat or it didn’t happen!

  • Wolf Tracker

    OT: Christie: I hope Bannon enjoys his ‘last 15 minutes of fame’

    New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie is dismissing Steve Bannon’s claim that he lost a spot in Donald Trump’s administration by failing to defend the future president following the release of the infamous “Access Hollywood” tape.

    “I was offered Cabinet positions by this president,” Christie told PBS’s Judy Woodruff in an interview that aired Monday. “I was offered Cabinet positions that I turned down.”

    https://www.yahoo.com/news/christie-hope-bannon-enjoys-last-15-minutes-fame-153817397.html?.tsrc=jtc_news_index

    Considering you are also enjoying your last brief minutes of infamy I find this fight quite enjoyable.

    • Mr. Blobfish

      Right. He wanted to serve out his term as governor of a state that hates him and wished he would have gone away.

      • UncleTravelingMatt

        He really loves relaxing on the beach.

        • Wolf Tracker

          He loses that private beach house when he is finished.

          Karma.

        • arglebargle

          and pina coladas?

    • BosGrl

      “I could have had a cabinet post. I didn’t want the stupid cabinet posts, OK?? SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP!”

      • Mr. Blobfish

        He also doesn’t want to be the afternoon drive time sports talk radio guy on the top rated station in NYC. It had nothing to do with him sucking.

        • theblackdog

          But I thought sucking was how you got to be the afternoon drive time sports talk radio guy on the number one station in NYC

    • Msgr_MΩment

      “I was holding out for Secretary of Donuts. Who knew there was no Secretary of Donuts?”

      • Villago Delenda Est

        Homer Simpson?

    • Gayer Than Thou

      Chris: “Secretary of Making Sure We Have Enough Toilet Paper in the West Wing” isn’t actually a thing. They were just fucking with you.

    • Bill D. Burger

      I can’t wait! Bannon tries not to spill his 12th cup of Jack___and Christie moves in for the kill….~BAM~

      https://media.giphy.com/media/ZBbKNKYcrGDiE/200.gif

      • Msgr_MΩment

        That guy on the right has had too many Sumores.

        • puredog

          ISWYDT

      • Iron Monkey

        A real world example of force = mass x acceleration.

    • Thiazin Red

      Sure you did, you turned it down. Its okay, we all totally believe you.

      • Good_Gawd_Yall

        His Canadian girlfriend (you wouldn’t know her, she went to the other high school) made him turn it down.

    • Gayer Than Thou
    • puredog

      “Oh, Chrissie, of COURSE you were.”

  • Mike Wallace

    It is a subliminal message to all her pedophile librahl shills! #pizzagate

  • Bill D. Burger

    Run! That pizza was cooked up in Killary’s special Black Ops ovens with ingredients that will turn you into a sex slave to be sold asap.
    I read it on the innertubes……..it’s true. And Alex Jones has verified it.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/8b5b7713d97e68b1bdc5bf3d4dc6d193f2478df258f89a517ed8bb0e4f1e5fe2.jpg

  • Gayer Than Thou

    I am looking forward to Hillary’s book being a big seller and the book tour getting a lot of attendance, and then the pundits can tell us that Democrats don’t like her and wish she’d go away. Because they don’t like and her and wish she’d go away.

    • Resistance Fighter Astraea

      No one likes her but a lot of minorities, so no one that counts.

      • Snopes Shop

        heart u

      • Roadstergal

        That’s the story of 2016, ain’t it.

      • Well, those minorities are pawns of the Big DNC machines, unlike white college students who are capable of independent thought.*

        * was actually told this by a NeverHillz type

    • Old town Urbandale

      Bet she won’t be rearranging the book table at Costco to make it look like her book is popular.

      • Resistance Fighter Astraea

        Bill is the book rearranger anyway

  • Aaron Wise

    After the DNC shoved her down our throats, now this!
    /s

    • renegade500

      It’s sad these days one actually has to add the /s because it’s so damned hard to tell anymore!

      (BTW, I chuckled even before I saw it.)

  • Mr. Blobfish

    Killary ordered the pizzas to be super-heated to 1,000 degrees and all the protestors had to spend the night in the Burned Tongue Unit over at Bellevue.

  • Jenny

    CHILD PIZZA RING! PROOOOFS!

  • Msgr_MΩment

    I live up here in North Hootenanny, where if there weren’t any colleges there would BE no bookstores for about a hundred miles. If I order one, does it come with a pizza?
    What about Kindle?

  • renegade500

    This is obviously proof she was doing Pizzagate all along!

  • Mr. Blobfish

    Hillary is just a shill for Big Pizza.

    • Parakeetist

      Ding

  • Scooby

    If it had been Papa Johns I’d say she’s just fuckin with us.

    • Arolpin

      Hilz knows better than to support a fucking forced-birther, Guy Fieri wannabe.

      • Scooby

        Isn’t Dominos owner also that way…and Hermain Cain…hey why the hell are all crappy pizza guys assholes?

        • Arolpin

          At least Little Ceasar’s isn’t owned by a RWNJ. It’s not very good pizza, but it’s not morally bankrupt. That’s why local pizza chains are the best.

        • theblackdog

          Dominos’s founder is a super conservative Catholic but he no longer owns the company.

        • Good_Gawd_Yall

          I think it’s more the case that becoming a big famous pizza-chain owner turns you into an asshole. (Like being the big famous owner of anything that means you have to pay more taxes seems to do.)

    • LucindathePook

      Hah! I was helping out at an Indivisible activity, and the Bernie Bro who was lending us space sent out for pizza from Papa John’s. (I have no idea why he picked it.) We could not even eat it, it was so vile.

  • Jus_Wonderin

    “Those people, who are camping out for her
    book reading, PROBABLY were fair to middling on her at best until she
    sprang for the extra pineapple.” Perfection.

    • puredog

      I dunno, if someone delivered me a pizza with ANY pineapple on it, I’d bail.

      • Seek

        Fruit on Pizza is an Abomination!!!111!

  • proudgrampa

    “Let them eat pizza!”

    • Edith Prickly

      You beat me to it.

  • puredog

    Hillary snuck into the B&N and put copies of her book in front of Dinesh D’Souza’s. Count on it.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Dinesh’s have all been returned, or donated to the Salvation Army by now.

      • Gayer Than Thou

        Some school kids in some developing country, who were waiting for the big book donation from America, are all “what the fuck is this?”

      • jesterpunk

        His books are in the bargain bin in the Dollar store.

    • SisterArtemis

      Well, I should HOPE so!

    • WotsAllThisThen

      Why would she put her book in the recycling?

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Dishwasher’s book has been secretly assassinated overnight. They think it was polonium.
      Yeah, Hillary roll like dat, too.

    • Edith Prickly

      I would have done that for her.

  • Wolf Tracker

    OT: House Conservatives Were Plotting Against Paul Ryan. Then Came Trump’s Surprise.

    WASHINGTON ― House Speaker Paul Ryan’s position in the GOP conference appears a little more secure after President Donald Trump, not Republican leaders in Congress, struck a deal last week with Democrats to keep the government funded and raise the debt ceiling. But rather than actually solidifying Ryan’s position, the agreement may only have bought the speaker some time.

    “President Trump making a deal on a short-term spending item takes pressure off of the speaker from a performance standpoint,” House Freedom Caucus Chairman Mark Meadows (R-N.C.) told HuffPost on Monday, “but adds additional pressure on GOP leadership overall.”

    Meadows was the member who led the charge in 2015 against former House Speaker John Boehner, offering a proposal just before the August recess to force him out as speaker, hardening opposition that ultimately led the Ohio Republican to step down. Now Meadows seems to be posturing against Ryan, pointing out that the Wisconsin Republican’s leadership has left Republicans with little leverage for a December spending deal and hardly any accomplishments.”

    https://www.yahoo.com/news/house-conservatives-were-plotting-against-094612235.html?.tsrc=jtc_news_index

    I think Ryan either hopes he will take over as president if Trump and Pence are impeached or he hopes Pence will pick him for VP.

    He doesn’t seem to want to stay in the house and will probably lose his leadership position if he does just like Boehner.

    • Seek

      Except that no one else wants the job either. The rise of the internet and the demise of earmarks makes the Speaker much less able to force his own agenda. The reps don’t need him for money as much as they used to and he can’t hand out the favors, so it’s a bad job without a lot of anything but trips to the White House for Trump to scream at you. I’d pass.

  • Shanzgood

    I bet she didn’t send any vegan pizza.

    • jodyleek

      I only eat vegan pizza in the company of yodeling baby buttholes.

      • Shanzgood

        That would probably be the only thing good about the experience.

    • Magyar Has Had It Up To Here

      And that is why people love her

    • spangled

      lock her up!

    • Thiazin Red

      Why would someone even try that? What would even be the point? Just get something else instead of ruining perfectly good food.

    • shivaskeeper

      I saw a picture of what was supposedly a grocery store in TX prior to Harvey making landfall. All the shelves around the vegan section were cleared out. The vegan section was full. I have no doubt of the veracity of the picture since it was on the internet.

      • Thiazin Red

        Vegan baked goods taste like despair, so it seems plausible.

        • shivaskeeper

          It didn’t say gluten free, just vegan.

          • Thiazin Red

            For once I will say that both sides are equally wrong.

          • The Militant Homosexual Agenda

            But pasta with no eggs? WTF is that?

          • Magyar Has Had It Up To Here

            Pig slop?

        • Truthiness2U

          Vegan baked goods are fine, too sweet though, because evidently if you can’t have any real fat, you have to load up on the sugar.

          I had a co-worker who left because his wife’s vegan bakery was doing so well. The texture was generally fine, but the sugar content? ugh.

      • Shanzgood

        I would have grabbed it since I eat vegan food sometimes but…not pizza. That’s a thing that shouldn’t be veganized.

        • The Militant Homosexual Agenda

          Like vegan turkey and vegan hot dogs. Stop it. Just stop it! If you’re a vegan why the fuck would you want to eat something that looks like meat?

          • Magyar Has Had It Up To Here

            Seitan tastes like satan’s taint. There, I said it.

          • The Militant Homosexual Agenda

            Thank you. It’s high time we started a public discussion on this.

          • brucej

            “Tried to amend my carnivorous habits…”

          • Dinz6315

            And name it after meat?!?

        • weighmaster

          I ate vegetarian pizza at Rajneeshpuram once in high school.

          • Shanzgood

            Vegetarian is fine. Vegan wouldn’t have cheese and that’s just not pizza.

          • weighmaster

            It was okay, the tofu pepperoni was weird though.

          • Shanzgood

            THetes nothing “okay” about tofu pepperoni!

          • weighmaster

            I concur

    • pstokk

      Could be ok, with clams. Clams are vegan aren’t they? I mean the ones that come in those little cans?

      • Good_Gawd_Yall

        No, YOU MONSTER!

      • Lordpnut

        To get good vegan butthole you got to go to Tennessee. Or so I’ve read on the interwebs.

  • Magyar Has Had It Up To Here

    Pineapple on pizza? You Monster!!1!1111!!!!!!

  • cosmiccowgirl

    I love the series of questions at the end. Why can’t Hillary do everything and its exact opposite at the same time? Her picture should be with “double bind” in the dictionary.

    • ExpatGirl

      I love that she knows she is going to be judged harshly no matter what she does but carries on anyway.

    • Thiazin Red

      Especially the leading thing. I remember reading multiple articles where people bitched about Clinton not being a major part of the women’s march. But if she says anything suddenly its go away forever.

  • Timothy Watson

    Alex Jones wants to know if it cheese pizza.

  • Wolf Tracker

    OT: Obama Lawyer’s Facing Off With Trump and Sessions!

    (Reuters) – The U.S. Justice Department on Monday said a criminal conviction against ex-Arizona Sheriff Joe Arpaio should be dismissed as moot in the wake of a controversial pardon from President Donald Trump, according to a court filing.

    However several legal groups, including one staffed by lawyers who worked for President Barack Obama’s administration, urged an Arizona federal judge to deem the pardon an unconstitutional overreach of executive authority.

    https://www.yahoo.com/news/justice-department-ex-obama-lawyers-duel-over-arpaio-000016962.html

    You ain’t going to get away with it Arpaio!

  • Mr. Blobfish
    • Arolpin

      They’re in line for Bernie’s book, amiright?

    • ExpatGirl

      But…but nobody cares what she has to say!

      Those folks are just hoping for some free pizza.

    • jesterpunk

      But I heard everyone hates Hillary. /s

      • Les Appentis De la résistance

        Its NYC. Bill de Blasio mandates everyone bow down to her heiness or suffer the consequences.

    • Moebym of the Returners

      Ah, so jealous of them all. I’m looking forward to photos of her signing copies of her book.

    • Roadstergal

      Three million illegals!!!111!!!

    • Les Appentis De la résistance

      This is what happens when all the bathrooms are transgendered only.

  • Kiri the Unicorn

    I still have questions about her relationship with Socks the cat during the Lewinsky affair.

    • Roadstergal

      She grabbed that pussy?

      • jowgajen

        Oh I think she pet it and maybe even gave it toys.

        • Panika MCD

          and loads of catnip. she herself had a nice brownie.

  • theblackdog

    You know what would be awesome? Hillary and her team handing out pizzas from Comet Ping Pong when she does her DC book signing.

    • Magyar Has Had It Up To Here

      FTW!!!!!

    • Me not sure

      …at Comet Ping Pong.

      • theblackdog

        It’s a smaller restaurant space and there’s gonna be a lot of people lining up to get their books signed

        • Me not sure

          They can use the dungeon.

      • IdRatherBeDancing

        From the non-existent basement.

      • Bright Bart

        with extra benghazi and cheese

  • Good_Gawd_Yall

    Y’all, we don’t deserve Hillary. She puts up with insane amounts of cruelty and fury TO TRY TO HELP US HAVE BETTER LIVES. Can we please, for the love of gawd, leave her alone? (This is not aimed at the Wonkettariat but at the rest of the world, obvs.)

    • Parakeetist

      I love her.

  • Mr. Blobfish
    • spangled

      i can’t believe george soros is all of those people, how does he do it?

      • BreakingDeadMen

        Magnets

        • Me not sure

          It’s all making sense now.

          • starfanglednut

            It is? Cuz I’m sure confused.

          • Me not sure

            See? That’s it!

      • Edith Prickly

        Mirrors and CGI.

      • Panika MCD

        he tilts the flat earth just so and the people tumble in the direction he wants them to go.

  • House0fTheBlueLights

    But did she have the pizza place write “Bernie Sux” on the inside of the boxes?

    • Thiazin Red

      If it was spelled out with pepperoni that would be pretty amazing.

      • Me not sure

        Or “I won, dammit!”

        • Raan

          “65 Mil, bitches”

  • fawkedifiknow

    HRC has written more books in the last 10 months than DJT has read in his entire life-time. Just sayin’.

    • Magyar Has Had It Up To Here

      He’s just read the one : Mein Kampf

      • Daniel

        He didn’t read that. He just spent a day arguing with the cover because he believes his own struggles have been greater.

      • Me not sure

        Don’t forget “All Quiet On The Western Front”. A favorite of his I’m told.

  • Wolf Tracker

    OT: Hope Hicks Named White House Communications Director

    Hope Hicks, who has served as interim White House communications director since Anthony Scaramucci was abruptly ousted from the position in July, will remain in the job on a permanent basis, CNN, NBC and Bloomberg report. Hicks is the third person to hold the post since President Donald Trump’s inauguration in January.

    https://www.yahoo.com/news/hope-hicks-named-white-house-122947600.html?.tsrc=jtc_news_index

    I think this is bribery and probably involves more money because Mueller wants to interview her about what happened on the plane when Trump dictated the Don Jr. letter and Trump wants to keep her under his thumb using executive privilege so she can’t spill the beans.

    Won’t matter because someone else on that plane like Preibus is going to spill his guts to avoid prison.

    • Magyar Has Had It Up To Here

      And Rancid Pubis hates him some Trump

      • Wolf Tracker

        He does and would happily spill his guts to take him down I think.

    • Me not sure

      Define “permanent basis”.

      • JustDon’tSayDignity

        “longer than Moochie”

        • Me not sure

          That long?

    • Anna Rompage

      I think what you’re seeing is Hope moving one step closer to being the next Mrs, D J Trump…

  • Vincent Ricola

    Why are all these people encouraging Hillary Clinton? Didn’t they get the memo from those couple few guys in the other thread that she is tearing us all apart with her insistence on existing and talking and writing books?

    • jesterpunk

      Its always best to listen to Republicans and Russians when they say what Democrats should do. They have our best interests in mind right?

      • Vincent Ricola

        If we were all just a little more passive and nice and Hillary shut up then those midwesterners would eventually ignore their generational loyalty to the GOP and vote for our old white guy candidate! THOSE PEOPLE BUYING BOOKS ARE TEARING US APART!

  • BigCSouthside

    Listen up sheeple,

    Hillary Clinton drugged those pizzas so anyone eating it will have their DNA turned so that they hate trump and America, and a gene will activate at some point telling them to open pedophile rings in pizza store basements EVEN ONES THAT DONT EVEN HAVE BASEMENTS, delete junk emails, and Benghazi 4 trump supporters for each person that ate the pizza.

    I have this from high level sources. I could get killed for telling you this.

    For more we go to Roger Stone…

    • JustDon’tSayDignity

      needz moar chemtrailz

      • brucej

        And not a SINGLE mention of A440! Sad!

  • BreakingDeadMen

    I hope it was Pizzagate (™) Brand pizza

  • pstokk

    Those pizzas were rigged.

  • marxalot

    OT, but The Guy Who Is Not My Boss Except He Kinda Is is driving me up the fucking wall with this report we’re trying to finalize, someone please remind me that “YOU CANNOT HAVE ALL THREE PARTS OF THE TRIANGLE JOHN” is an impolitic and counterproductive thing to say.

    • Mahousu

      Is the triangle a slice of pizza? Is he, perhaps, crust-adverse?

    • Raan

      The triangle – fast, good, and cheap?

    • Lordpnut

      It’s more measured and instructive than “lick my ballsack, John.” Sorry, probably not helping.

    • JustDon’tSayDignity

      Sounds like my Tuesday last week. Guess which part of the triangle they didn’t get?

    • Anna Rompage

      Triangle, like MMF, MMM, MMT, MFT, FFF, FFT, FFM etc…

      There’s more choices here than there are sandwiches at a Chick_Fil_A

  • altleftjohn

    Why won’t Hillary just confess that she killed Vincent Foster when he found out about the secret sex island?

    • IdRatherBeDancing

      Buy the book! its crypted in there!

      • Johnny Appleseed

        I think you’d have to read it backwards to crack the code.

  • William

    No gay people right? Cuz you can’t be made to bring pizza to gay people. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/d14af946e64ddb7e2117944f821dce23a8ec595c7c24abeb829cadbbd027897f.jpg

    • torrentprime

      💚 the pic

  • Pookabun

    A couple weeks ago I dreamed that Hillary came over for coffee. She drank it out of my 70s vintage Garfield mug while sitting on my couch! It was awesome. No pizza though.

    • Daniel

      I once dreamed that Bowie was lying on my bed breaking the handles of all my mum’s favourite mugs off against the wall. He was annoyed because I wasn’t spending enough time with him. I promised that would change and we’d hang out if he just stopped breaking all the handles off the mugs. But he didn’t.

      He didn’t.

      • Pookabun

        LOL I once dreamed that Bowie was sitting in my bathtub (no water), wearing a fab YSL suit and discussing philosophy with me. He was very very serious about it all. Bowie dreams are the best.

      • Bad Tom

        So, you were wise to break it off.
        ——-
        The mug handles or the relationship with David Bowie?
        That is the question.

      • Parakeetist

        Waaaaaa

    • Me not sure

      In my dream we got stoned, sat on the couch, and stared at my Yellow Submarine Lava Lamp til sunrise. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/d333e3d3df7f704db7236ee9f38465cd1fd3c0edcf5e3eb0017b68d55929a842.jpg

    • IdRatherBeDancing

      I had a dream that I was a back up dancer for Gynneth Paltrow! lol

      • Parakeetist

        Le huh?

    • laineypc

      I dreamt that I had dinner at a fancy restaurant with Robert Downey Jr. He was lovely.

  • Relativicus

    “It is Hillary Clinton Day and all the neoliberal shills are so scited! They are like, touch us with a Bad Touch, Hillary Clinton, we are wearing vagina hats and are into you in a sexual manner!”

    Damn that’s hot. I’ll be in my bunk.

  • Bub, the cynical zombie

    https://twitter.com/petridishes/status/907673293917790208

    Reminds me of an old joke about a guy who goes to a psychiatrist and takes a Rohrschach test. After viewing each inkblot, he describes in great detail the extremely lurid, graphically sexual scenes he claims to see in it. At the test’s conclusion, the psychiatrist comments: “You seem to be somewhat obsessed with sex.” The guy replies: “Me? You’re the one with all the dirty pictures!”

    • Opalescent Riddles

      I’ve also seen the setup used with an alternative ending:

      At the test’s conclusion, the psychiatrist comments, “Well, our time is up, so we’ll go over the results next session,” and the guy replies, “OK, see you next week, but hey, the guy who was supposed to bring the porno video cancelled, so can I borrow those dirty pictures for my bachelor party tonight?”

  • Bitter Scribe

    I wonder if Obama will buy us pizza when his memoir comes out.

    • IdRatherBeDancing

      His food will be way more hip, like empenadas. Not pizza — so basic!

      • covfefesumgame0005

        and with BROWN MUSTARD!!!11!!! and served in a TAN SUIT !!!!!!

        • SDGeoff3

          You had me at brown mustard.

      • stubbornirishlass

        Arugula and lattes or GTFO!

  • Debbie the Unpaid Protester

    How nice of her to selflessly send pizza to the shivering masses. No ulterior motive there, no sir.”

    What possible motive could she have? To buy their friendship? I pretty sure she’s already got enough friends (all 65,844,954 of us who voted for her, at the minimum)! To sell her books? They’re already in line to buy her fucking books! To get them to vote for her? Election is over, Mashable-Assholes!

  • Portia McGonagal

    Why won’t she go away forever and nail herself shut behind a steel reinforced door like every other former Presidential candi…oh wait.

    Well then why won’t she accept that no one likes her or wants her boo…oh wait.

    Why can’t she accept that no one wants to pay to see her…oh wait.

    You mean it’s just ppl like Chris Cillizza, Matty Yglesias, white male bros who want her to go away? Naaaahhh that can’t be it.

  • thatdamnbob

    “It Takes A Village” by Barbara Feinman Todd

    “Hard Choices” by Dan Schwerin, Ethan Gelber, Ted Widmer

    “Living History,” by Maryanne Vollers

    • Resistance Fighter Astraea

      Bless your heart.

    • Snopes Shop

      Are you the guy singing on the street to win his girlfriend back?

      • SDGeoff3

        Did someone finally smash that damn piano?

    • Late by three articles. Slippin, comrade, slippin

  • Marsupial99

    Most importantly: Why is Hillary Clinton at all, and why won’t she be Bernie Sanders?????//?

  • Ricky Gay

    Alls I can say is Al Gore sighed and thinks he invented the internets.

    • covfefesumgame0005

      oh for fucks sake!

      • Ricky Gay

        And Michael Moore? Fat! IKR?!

        • covfefesumgame0005

          also too!

          • torrentprime

            well, actually

  • la bibliotequetress

    uh huh. from the end of Sabrina Saddiqui’s review in the Guardian.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/8f5f3c347d28f1c862c10d879cc749bce2bdb9552691ab4084e50fc3368f56e6.png

    • Ricky Gay

      He should be forced to wear a pantsuit!

      • SDGeoff3

        Turquoise polyester.

    • kathyseivers

      I think I used to respect Thomas Frank. Maybe I’m thinking of someone else.

      • King Beauregard

        Thomas Frank should not be respected. Did you know that Republican appeal has nothing to do with racism? It’s true, at least in Kansas, where nobody is racist. Just ask them!

        http://www.isreview.org/issues/39/kansas.shtml

        • BBStevens

          Have lost respect for him long time as well.

  • IdRatherBeDancing

    She literally CANNOT do anything right for some. Sheesh. I truly thought the pizza tweet was gonna be: “See Pizzagate is a thing. The sex trafficker!”

  • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

    I want her to do a signing near where I live so I can ask her to sign my hairy man chest in permanent marker. I’ll even shave a spot for her to do so.

  • Occam’s 8 ball

    You are not even paid? You are at least still in negotiations, right? Political damage control should be very lucrative. You’re really not getting paid anything? Wow.

    • Les Appentis De la résistance

      An eight ball is 3-ish grams, right?

      • Bad Tom

        (Picks ball up from pool table.)
        Feels more like 50 grams to me.

      • Dan Livermore

        An eight ball is an eighth of an ounce. An ounce is 28.3495 grams. So technically 3.55 grams, but no dealer is ever going to give you the .05 oz. Settle for 3.5 g grams and call it even. If you’re lucky, you’ll get the extra 0.1g on a quarter. Make SURE you get the extra eighth on a oz.

        I only did drugs to learn the metric system.

    • BBStevens

      Neither am I. Still waiting on my 20 million dollar cheque from Soros, the stingy bastard.

  • Les Appentis De la résistance

    Hillary is trying to sex traffic the millenials waiting for Smashmouth tickets?

    • Bad Tom

      It’s all very complicated. Trump will explain it in 140 characters or less. Fewer?
      Help! John Kelly, you’re our only hole! *Hope* Damn autocorrect!

    • stubbornirishlass

      No, no – she was trying to bribe all of those people who were waiting in line to buy her book into… buying her book. I guess.

  • Internet Hitler

    should have sent Ping Pong pizza.

  • BBStevens

    Ugh , how terrible. Giving pizza to shivering supporters. THERE MUST BE AN ULTERIOR MOTIVE, I BET SHE CONSULTED WITH POLITICAL ADVISORS AND LOOKED AT POLLS TO DETERMINE HOW MUCH PEOPLE LOVE PIZZA! NO WAY HILLARY DID THIS ALL BY HERSELF!>…..
    /Grinds teeth In Sarcasm

    On top of Taco Trucks on every corner,..What we could have had, the oval office could have been occupied by a true stateswoman :(

  • Beautiful Soup

    Ulterior motive? Easy. First hit is free. When you’re hooked you’ll wind up at her basement pedo pizza emporium.

  • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

    Did Bernie sleep through the Republican primaries and the Trump campaign? Hell, George H.W. Bush ran a more negative campaign against Michael Dukakis back in 1988!

    https://twitter.com/CNN/status/907696032812847105

  • peteywheats

    As much as I despise people constantly attacking Hillary, I have to admit, I don’t find her very likable as a person. Maybe it’s the threats of banning video games, maybe it’s the adherence to the pentagon and the drug war, maybe it’s the calling universal health care “free ponies”, maybe it’s calling black kids “Superpredators”, but I just don’t like her that much.

    Sure, she’s basically like a goddess of justice and light next to that racist nazi brain-addled melting Circus Peanut Trump, but, I’m more than ready to put the Clinton Era in the rear-view mirror.

    • kathyseivers

      “As much as I despise people constantly attacking Hillary………” Oh, what the hell, let me continue to attack her. Yada, Yada, Yada…..

      • peteywheats

        Just trying to wean you people from her dryed out political career and get you ready for a viable candidate for the future.

        • Snopes Shop

          Hey, thanks!

        • Lefty Wright

          Just don’t count on it being Bernie. He has burned too many bridges to the moderate Democratic faction to get enough support unless the GOP gets us into a major war and a depression.

        • IdRatherBeDancing

          Speaking of dryed out — looked at Bernie lately?

        • jesterpunk
        • Zippy W Pinhead

          Dude, that is incredibly condescending. Thank God you showed up to protect us from ourselves, because we’re all too stupid to think for ourselves. And the Berniecrats still can’t figure out why so many of us think they’re arrogant.

        • Saxo the Grammarian
        • arrrghle

          Oh that’s not sexist/ageist/misogynistic at all

        • I sort of want her to run again. She won’t, she said so, but just to make the weaning that much more condescending ^.^

          • peteywheats

            Are you addicted to losing?

        • BBStevens

          Bless your heart!

    • King Beauregard

      Well Bernie called black kids “deeply sick and sociopathic”, so that’s better?

      • peteywheats

        Nothing about kids of any kind:
        “I think there is no disagreement among all of us that we need strong law enforcement . . . clearly there are people in our society who are horribly violent, who are deeply sick and sociopathic, and clearly these people must be put behind bars in order to protect society from them.”

        Hillary’s full quote, about kids, granted, she doesn’t use the word black, but she does use the words “gangs”, “Kids” and “Superpredators” which was a well-used right wing dog whistle for referring to black kids.:
        “But we also have to have an organized effort against gangs, Just as in a previous generation we had an organized effort against the mob. We need to take these people on. They are often connected to big drug cartels, they are not just gangs of kids anymore. They are often the kinds of kids that are called superpredators — no conscience, no empathy. We can talk about why they ended up that way, but first, we have to bring them to heel.”

        • Guinnessmonkey

          Um, no. “Superpredators” later became a right-wing dog whistle term, but started as a mainstream term among academics. The fear was that with kids who were in a violent gang from a young age you’d see similar psychological damage as you see in child soldiers. On it’s own it made a lot of sense and certainly wasn’t racist. That racist asshats took it and used it as an excuse to be racist asshats doesn’t make people who used it early on retroactive racists.

          • King Beauregard

            To say nothing of the crypto-racist asshats of the Bernie campaign, who were OH SO OFFENDED that Hillary would say terrible things about people that they naturally assumed must be black.

            These same people are also known for acting like blacks must be stupid if they don’t support Bernie; so much for their racial tolerance.

          • Zippy W Pinhead

            That one chapped my ass- the “brainwashed urban Dems” who voted for her because they just didn’t know any better, bless their poor little pickaninny hearts

          • Truthiness2U

            The way he and everyone in his campaign dismissed black voters in Southern states was disgusting. Just on a political level, never mind a human one, how fucking tone deaf do you have to be to negate the vote of black people who live in the South. And to do so while calling them “Confederate state” voters.

            Like seriously? SERIOUSLY?

            And kicker, his flying monkeys on the “Unity” commission want to do away with primaries/closed primaries as a way to suppress AA voting in the next Dem Primary by championing the one place Bernie did well in –the vastly undemocratic caucuses.

          • Zippy W Pinhead

            True, it was a flawed but popular mainstream theory in social science circles

          • King Beauregard

            Lead is probably the culprit:

            http://www.motherjones.com/environment/2016/02/lead-exposure-gasoline-crime-increase-children-health/

            Kids in the inner city were growing up hotboxing lead fumes, leading to a few more of them showing signs of lead poisoning (such as poor impulse control). More than likely the EPA fixed our crime wave, by accident.

        • King Beauregard

          “the words “gangs”, “Kids” and “Superpredators” which was a well-used right wing dog whistle for referring to black kids.:”

          I don’t know if you remember this, but there was an actual serious urban crime problem in the late 80s and early 90s. Gang violence was at an all-time high, gang members were young, and nobody knew where this gang violence was coming from. (There’s a very good theory that leaded gas emissions had been poisoning kids but the EPA’s curbing of leaded gas led to fewer kids growing up brain-damaged, but that’s neither here nor there.)

          The 1994 Crime Bill — the one both Hillary and Bernie were talking about — was written in large measure to address the urban crime wave.

          My point: Hillary was dogwhistling about black kids exactly as much as Bernie was. Which was not at all, if you’re going to be intellectually honest about it. If you think it’s unfair for me to accuse Bernie of racism, well, it’s exactly as unfair to accuse Hillary of racism over the very same thing.

          • RAFREE

            Okay folks, Hillary was talking during that speech about a certain bill being proposed that the Congressional Black Caucus was fully behind. Context is everything. It’s discouraging to see people on the left picking up GOP b.s. about anyone. Hillary Clinton was fully backed in her remarks by the CBC at the time. There’s a lot of slinging going on with zero understanding of any back ground or context.

          • King Beauregard

            Yet another reason I think Bernie’s fan base are as bad as the Teabaggers, and at its core indistinguishable.

            As soon as they’re making enough money to worry more about taxes than minimum wages, they’ll go full Teabagger, and without changing a single principle.

        • Zippy W Pinhead

          It wasn’t a “well-used right wing dog whistle” at the time. It was a current social science theory that later turned out to be wrong. And the black community was entirely behind her efforts at the time- there was a serious crime problem and they applauded her efforts to go after it. Now it may be that they were mistaken as well in thinking that this would be a cure, but they certainly weren’t applauding her for right wing dog whistles.

        • sgt. jmk of the résistance

          Oh… how kind of you to “grant” that HRC never connected race to the specific kind of criminal drug-gang members “that are called” – by folks like the sociologist John DiIulio and Bill Bennet who wrote the book of the same name – “superpredators.” That’s so good of you. So broad-minded.

          It’s so adorable of you to make her responsible for what right-wingers turned it into a dog-whistle for because she used it long before they did so. So fair of you, especially considering the book was published in late 1995 and the speech was given in early 1996.

          Fun story – the term initially had no racial subtext, and an entire chapter in the book discusses the Columbine killers who couldn’t have been whiter if you’d bleached them. Hillz learned about the book from the author, so SURE, it’s totally reasonable to hold her responsible for what racists turned it into.

          But still, it’s so good of you to be broad-minded enough to know she didn’t use it with a racist intent and yet still hold her responsible for other people’s racism.

          http://www.motherjones.com/kevin-drum/2016/03/very-brief-history-super-predators/

          https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/1996/11/04/the-criminals-of-tomorrow

        • Not sure if you ever ran into any gang members of any stripe, but….they really do exist, and they are really, really bad.

    • renegade500

      I’ve never actually seen why people have to have likability in their leaders. Shrub struck me as perfectly affable, and well, we all know how that worked out. Likability is not a good metric for is this person a good leader. And in fact, the two are often mutually exclusive.

    • Snopes Shop

      She fought hard for those “free ponies” back in the 1990’s. It is all about the context.

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        And in this context she is right. Bernie had a bad habit “me too, plus one!” for everything she supported. And that would inevitably be followed with an attack from the Bros™- You only support $12 minimum wage?
        Why do you hate the workers? You only support free college with means testing? Why do you hate college students?

        It was disingenuous bullshit- thanks to the true believers not being willing or able to compromise, we didn’t get $15 or $12 MW, we got nothing. Thanks to their purity pony bullshit- NOBODY gets free college, sorry you upper middle class suburban white kids objected to verifying your parent’s income so rich kids didn’t get their tuition paid by blue collar taxpayers- because the rust belt factory workers and coal miners would have been THRILLED to have their taxes raised so some doctor in suburbia doesn’t have to pay tuition for his kid.

        • Truthiness2U

          Hell, thanks to those purity pouters we have Blue cities that raise the minimum wage, and get it denied by the Red state they are in.

          And we have a DOJ that flipped from defending the workers, in several cases, to now arguing against them.

          Oh and Hillary’s $12 was a minimum with a COI in various places, so that places that could support it more, would be able to.

          And let’s talk about education. With DeVos gutting Title IX about rape on campus. Allowing fake/for-profit “universities,” again. Ending debt forgiveness for people who went in certain fields/places for a number of years.

          Hillary was right to have means testing, PLUS Bernie’s “free college” was an really unfunded mandate (given all the things put in about faculty) that relied on Red states not being the meth labs of democracy they clearly are. And Bernie’s way of getting around that? moving to state that had his “free college” program. Like those states would allow people to use it, plus poor people can just move at the drop of a hat to across the country.

          Bernie had simple catchy phrases for things he knew nothing about, and his followers even less. And Bernie showed how he was going to pay for shit, about as much as he showed his personal tax returns. Which is to say, not at all.

          Hillary had detailed plans for things, that were much more sound. And if things could have arguably been improved on, then I’m sure she would have been open to it, and her plans allowed for that.

          His? Well what if we run out of unicorns to pay for everything with their rainbow farts? Where would we be then?

    • JD Mulvey

      Re: Likeability

      Hillary Clinton seems quick to laugh –despite her laugh and everything else being a constant source of disparagement. She’s smart and interesting and kind, all qualities that few politicians have.

      I’d be thrilled to have an hour to chat with her.

      Bernie seems like he’s never laughed in his whole life.

    • BBStevens

      I’m a gamer, Ratings on games is really what you’re upset about? as for the rest of your post..>

      *Sigh*

    • blaid droog

      You left out her vote for W’s fake war. She also enjoyed bumping pussy with wassershitz. She took walmart money. She’s such a progressive, how can you not like her.

      • BBStevens

        charming

      • Saxo the Grammarian

        She was on Walmart’s board of directors back in the 70s/early 80s, when Walmart’s merchandise was all “Made in America”. In other words, *before* they became utterly evil.

        • arrrghle

          I remember those days…the Wal-Mart trucks all said Made In America right there on the side. It was like a Made In America party up in there. Sigh…

        • blaid droog

          She was taking their money in 2016. Damn few dems don’t take corporate cash. Bill opened the floodgates for the banksters by undoing Glass-Stegall. Fuck the clintons.

          • torrentprime

            Clinton should not have signed that law – no disagreement, none – but don’t blame Clinton for signing what the Republicans Gramm, and Leach, and Bliely did and wrote and passed thru a Republican Congress.

      • peteywheats

        True. False. True. Snark.

    • Saxo the Grammarian

      Hillary didn’t call black kids “superpredators”. Stop parroting rightwing lies.

      • peteywheats

        “But we also have to have an organized effort against gangs, Just as in a previous generation we had an organized effort against the mob. We need to take these people on. They are often connected to big drug cartels, they are not just gangs of kids anymore. They are often the kinds of kids that are called superpredators — no conscience, no empathy. We can talk about why they ended up that way, but first, we have to bring them to heel.”

        • torrentprime

          I wonder if you even see what word is missing from your “proof”.

  • rEVOLutionist

    I have often suggested that people would show up at the polling places on election day, if they got a pizza coupon when they turned in their ballot.

  • Daniel Hooper

    Rebecca, you’re slipping. This article was practically BEGGING for a Pizzagate reference and you missed it. Obviously Hillary was mocking all the critics saying she got away with Pizzagate by buying pizza for her fans. You think she’s just being nice to her loyal fans, but clearly she’s flaunting the crimes she got away with. Wake up, sheeple!

    • BBStevens

      ugh the arrogance!! she’s so arrogant!!
      *Cosplays old man yelling at clouds**

  • Kooolest G

    damn, every time smash mouth plays at whatever county fair or indian casino they usually play at, I camp out in line overnight to get tickets, but do they ever send pizza? no NEVER!!!! all star my ass

  • Snopes Shop

    I’m just gonna put this back up because I actually cannot believe he came out and said it. I can’t believe it is real.

    https://twitter.com/mattyglesias/status/907624742844289024

    • Lefty Wright

      Yeah, like Bernie is going to take on the mantle of racial savior and end discrimination.

      • JD Mulvey

        While accusing any female competitors of being devious, slimy and overly ambitious.

        • Grokenstein

          RATFUCKING! RATFUCKING EVERYWHERE!!

    • JD Mulvey

      Bernie’s staking out the white middle-class ultra-lib segment of the progressive coalition. In other words, the ones who demand a lot and then stay home on election day.

      Let us know how that works out for you. The rest of us will be over here working to defeat Donald Trump.

      • Has any of his hand picked good enoughs won yet?

        • JD Mulvey

          Not that I know of, but anybody who knocked doors for him is now running a campaign somewhere, having touted their awesome non-win as if it’s some kind of resume-builder.

          Politics is a funny line of work.

    • Pat_Pending

      WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN?

      • Serai 1

        I think it has something to do with the delusion the Bros still have that Grandpa’s gonna be President. They believe it’s a done deal, apparently, or at least that Bernie will get ALL THE VOTES OMG. I think.

        https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/39516b7c8dae13d24cab1b644c8a3691170517debc6fdb39195c65db18fa6fc0.gif

        • Guinnessmonkey

          Yhea. I feel like I’ve had like a thousand of those idiots babble at me about how he’s the “most popular politician in America” in just the last few weeks.

          I’m like, “I doubt he’s anywhere near as popular as HRC was circa 2013.”

    • BBStevens

      Jesus Fuck he’s gone nuts. I used to like this dude. Wtf is that shit tweet.

      • Truthiness2U

        I know! It’s so weird. I used to follow him on Twitter, and he seemed that unlike a lot of others, he seemed like a decent journalist, and pundit. But he’s since lost his damn mind.

        Those BernieBro tweets/clicks must be addictive as hell, because I can think of no other alternative.

  • WotsAllThisThen

    Ulterior motive? Political calculation? Let’s put a few pizzas in front of a focus group and see how they play.

  • Pat_Pending

    People stand in line for Smashmouth tickets?

    • Parakeetist

      Yeah, why?

  • Pat_Pending

    I’m still trying to figure out what makes folks hate Hillary so much. You sure can’t find it on the innertoobs. All I can come up with is, I think she has a voice that reminds a lot of (white) guys of their mother. Who has had up to HERE with washing your goddamn gym clothes, you can damn well do that shit YOURSELF. Who the hell do you think you ARE, prince-ling??

    • Stop.
      People will think that you’re inviting them to explain why.

      • Pat_Pending

        Oh, god. Did I do that? Ugh. You should see what’s going on in today’s Hillary/Bernie Wonket post. Hadda get away from that level of cray but FAST.

        • Eh? Nothing we have not heard, countless times, debated and debunked, just as many times.
          By now it is a broken record endlessly repeating the same sour tune

          • Grokenstein

            Yeah, but they gotta stay in shape for encouraging everyone to sit out the next election (or toss their vote for the gadfly) because the purity of muh conscience.

          • Regret

            I’M SICK OF YOUR WINNER TAKES ALL SYSTEM!
            GET A MULTIPARTY SYSTEM, PREFERABLY WITHOUT A PRESIDENT!
            It is impossible to vote according to your conscience in a two-party system, because reality is complicated. Also, in a multi party system if the biggest party is nazis, then the smaller parties together still have more power! (Unless one party gets more than 50% of the votes, but in that case you deserve whatever you get.)

          • Grokenstein

            Sure thing, sport. You go ahead and sit out elections because WAH, and those of us who actually understand politics, and understand that there’s no such thing as the perfect candidate (or system), will struggle to keep you alive in spite of yourself.

            (Spoiler alert: We know your conscience has absolutely nothing to do with anything.)

          • Tiny kaiju

            Then make so, my shouty friend. Why should we the work for something you want? Also not having an actual parliamentary system could make things a little harder. Otherwise we probably would have managed it by now.

    • King Beauregard

      Most politicians would make for good used car salesman. Hillary would not; she comes off as awkward when she’s trying to meet all the expectations of deportment people put on her (such as: smile more, smile less, be more folksy, be less folksy, use bigger words, use smaller words, and above all grow a penis).

      Other than that, I think she’s golden, especially when she’s just speaking her mind. It really ought to be a rule that she has to down two shots of vodka before all public engagements.

      • Roadstergal

        I want her to be my bartender.

        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6Jh2n5ki0KE

      • Serai 1

        Makes you wonder what she might be like as a campaigner if she DIDN’T have all that bullshit required of her, doesn’t it? If she could just relax and be natural? I’d’ve loved to see that campaign.

        • King Beauregard

          Here’s a vague half-remembered tale to take however you like.
          Somewhere on the Internet, a guy was talking about some friends of his who went down to help Bill Clinton when he was … campaigning for governor, I think … ? It was before he was president, anyway. When they came back, to be sure they spoke favorably about Bill, but they were absolutely in love with Hillary: smart, funny, engaging, just a delight.

          If there’s any good that’s going to come out of our country not getting President Hillary, it’s going to be in our realizing how lucky we would have been, if a YUGE chunk of this country weren’t shit. I of course mean not only Trump fans but also Bernie Bros and other detritus of the Left.

          • Serai 1

            Every account I’ve heard about Hillary from people who’ve met her has been positive. They all go on about how sympathetic and friendly she is, and how she listens to people. It’s fucking heartbreaking how stiff she’s been hammered into being in front of crowds.

    • Serai 1

      It’s laziness. They hear a bunch of talking points, read a bunch of memes, and feel they have no obligation to actually try and find out what’s what. It’s much easier to just believe the bullshit than to use their fucking brains.

  • blaid droog

    Ever since I managed a pizza hut for two years, I hate pizza, but, a calzone, now that is everything a pizza should be, but isn’t.

    • Ok that doesn’t make sense because they certainly wouldn’t serve any pizza where you were working. Now if you said your previous job had left you adverse to expired ketchup on unrecycled cardboard, then I’d understand

  • mardam422

    I do believe Chris Cillizza actually asked all of those questions about Hillary. He’s such a journalist/cocksucker, I can’t even tell you.

    • BBStevens

      Cillizza sucks harder than a hoover wet/dry.

  • clairence

    It’s obvious that the pizzas are an admission that pizzagate is real.
    i mean, really, there can be no other explanation.

    • blueeyedcuban

      Lovingly made by enslaves 9 year olds, locked in a basement.

      • Serai 1

        A basement in the 6th dimension.

  • persistently_resistant_gayby

    Doesn’t want to see her supporters being left out hungry waiting for her.

    What a cunt.

    • Serai 1

      Inorite? Next thing you know, she’ll be giving away water to people in line when it’s hot out – the MONSTER.

  • Saxo the Grammarian

    These here Mashable folks jump to conclusions about as well as manatees do the triple jump. Hillary sent those pizzas to people who were already camping out in front of Barnes & Noble or whatever. Now, if she had set up a free pizza promotion and announced it *before* folks got in line, they might have a point.

  • Wojciech

    the Chapo Shithouse Crew should’ve gotten on the L train — which will so very conveniently let you off at Union Square from Williamsburg and Bushwick (a/k/a Brocialist Central) — and gotten themselves a better (and free) lunch than their usual repasts of ramen and chicken tenders.

  • Delu

    I suppose this is a good place to put this particular line out:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DFDSFcyMpFg

    Eat Pizza Cool.

    • SprinklemagicResistancebuns

      TITS AHOY!

  • mailman27

    She can do no right.

    • Parakeetist

      Some people! Humph!

  • Serai 1

    How very kindergarten sandbox of them. Just tells me who the decent person is – the one feeds hungry people. Who was it that said we should do that, again? Wait, wait, it’s on the tip of my tongue…

  • mary5920

    Can people in Harlem take the A train to Hillary’s book? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cb2w2m1JmCY

    • Parakeetist

      I believe so.

  • obadiahorthodox

    Hillary would be prez today if she had handed out free pizza down south. southerners go for pizza and beer

    • phoenix00

      Berniebro: “Hillary would have been President if she handed out pizza and beer in Wisconsin, Michigan, and Ohio!”

  • Debbie the Unpaid Protester

    Pizza or no pizza, I wish she’d come to Minneapolis for a book signing.

    • Johnny Appleseed

      I’d like to see it. A large crowd would show upper Midwest support! Michigan, Ohio and, to a lesser extent, PA.

  • Johnny Appleseed

    Was this a blatant shot at pizzagate? If so…funny. If not, it should be.

  • John McLaughlin

    Instead of a hard working, smart woman who would have selected an awesome team around her as president…. we selected a lazy, world-class liar who likely earned most of his money via money laundering and it looks like his campaign (even Jr.) colluded with Russia to win at any cost….now we have people like Pruitt running around destroying the EPA, Sessions getting his kicks by going after the dreamers, etc. etc. etc. What is wrong with us???

    • cats530

      Don’t know what’s wrong, other than people are fed up on both sides. So much so, that people get discouraged, do the absolutely wrong thing and elect a yutz like Donald Trump. Then it takes years and years to recover from the damage inflicted on our regulatory agencies.

      • clairence

        and in the interim, the people get even more discouraged at how long it’s taking to recover and further blame “both sides”.

        • cats530

          Well there is a lot of Beltway Insider cronyism on BOTH SIDES. Both for Wall Street and against Main Street (with a few Democratic exceptions). However, only one side wants to regulate women’s uteruses for them, replace the Constitution with Biblical law and regulate gay relationships. That’s why I could never vote for a rethug. The corporate Dems make me puke too, however.

          • sarafina

            So what, exactly, is a “corporate Dem”? From what I’ve seen on this site, that’s a term applied to anybody didnotpa and some others don’t like. I’ve missed any actual substantive definition, and I just dismiss anyone who uses the term as an unhelpful, whiny individual.

          • cats530

            Read up on Third Way. In fact, just for you (well for everyone else too, lol) I’ve got a great article by one of my favorite experts on financial fraud, politics and Beltway Insider chiseling – Professor Bill Black. It’s about the Third Way, a Wall Street think tank trying to pass itself off as “Democratic” with connections to Wasserman-Schultz, Schumer, etc.

            https://www.nakedcapitalism.com/2017/09/bill-black-politico-third-way-divorced-reality.html

          • sarafina

            If you think I’m in any way connected with financial fraud, and Beltway Insiders you are dumber than the orange shitgibbon.

          • Tiny kaiju

            If I’m not mistaken, these are the very people who claim it would be better if Hillary retires quietly to her cottage in the woods and was never heard from again. The same people who think Liz Warren, Al Franken, Kampala Harris, etc, should tone down their progressive rhetoric. I don’t know how much actual influence they have though. They have been around for a while now. I recall an email a few years ago about why I should be angry that my Senators, Leahy and Sanders wanted to protect Social Security and Medicare funding with a “locked box”. I’d like to think that if the Dems run candidates that truly want what’s best for the majority of Americans, these Third Way bozos will find themselves out of a job.

          • Serai 1

            That’s it, basically. It’s Lazyspeak for “I don’t fucking like him/her”. It has little to do with the person and even less to do with actual politics, since it’s IMPOSSIBLE for any candidate these days to avoid dealing with big money in SOME way. The Bros like to pretend that Bernie is MUCH TOO HOLY to ever touch “big money”, but that’s exactly the reason he “became a Democrat” (quotes because he didn’t, really) – so he could have access to all that Big Money the DNC had in its coffers. He could take advantage of the bucks, all the while yelling his head off about how HE WAS CLEAN NO BIG MONEY HERE NOPE NO SIR, and then leave the Party the minute the election was over and he could keep pretending he’d never touched any of that money.

          • cats530

            Actually, it doesn’t and it isn’t “lazyspeak.” If anyone is lazy, it’s you two…in denial about Third Way policies. But to each their own. Enjoy!

          • Serai 1
          • cats530

            Whatever. Keep stroking yourself.

          • Serai 1
          • sarafina

            Thanks, that’s what I thought. While I like Bernie for a while, he stayed too long and started to get moldy. Now his single payer plan is to vague on how things will get paid for. While it may start a discussion, I’m not hopeful. Most Western European nations keep some form of private insurance along with single payer.

  • sonali

    Fuck these people. No pizza for Hillary haters EVER.

  • Jo Mathie

    How long before we get the inevitable Trump “My Struggle against the fake media – the true story of the impeachment and why Ivanka should be President”. ( Go Hillary for sending pizza after the whole “pizza-gate nonsense”. Well played madam.

  • guest
    • cats530

      I would say her real offenses were being a woman (first) and a Democrat (second). It seems that white male supremacists hate women even more than Democrats.

    • Serai 1

      STEALING THAT

      • guest

        Be my guest. It’s one of those pass alongs.

  • PB Coleman

    Stupid premise. The people waiting there were HRC fans, and would have bought the book regardless.

  • Panika MCD
    • King Beauregard

      Boy, this reminds me of every time I’ve tired to explain that there weren’t 60 votes for a public option in 2009. Eight years on and I’m still having to argue about first grade math with the allegedly fact-based stripe of the political spectrum.

      Max Baucus’s words: “My job is to put together a bill that will become law. In the Senate, that means my job is to put together a bill that gets 60 votes. Now, I can count. And no one has been able to show me how we can count up to 60 votes with a public option in the bill.” Half the Left views the ability to count as an arcane, infernal art akin to trafficking with demons. That’s how far the Left has fallen.

      • Panika MCD

        what the fuck? I’m making fun of a purity pony and you come in with “Half the Left can’t do math”? might want to check your math on how you arrived at “half” there.

        I’m glad you understand how counting to 60 in the Senate works, but tossing out a hyperbole about “half the left” undermines your entire argument.

        • King Beauregard

          You are complaining about the lack of mathematical precision in a statement you also recognize as hyperbole.

          In truth I don’t know exactly how much of the Left has trouble counting to 60, nor do I have a firm definition of the Left. That said, I invite you to try to explain the failure of the public option to Lefties, and how only 59 votes could be lined up. You will receive more pushback on this very simple, seemingly unobjectionable point of first grade math.

          • Panika MCD

            and people wonder why no one can get anything done…try not insulting that many people. I’m on the left that you’re deriding you fucking moron. I’m glad you can count, now try working on talking to other people.

          • King Beauregard

            So, have you ever tried to talk numbers to Lefties who don’t want to hear it? Try it sometime, then come back to me and tell me about how receptive the Left is to numbers and facts and inconvenient truths.

          • Panika MCD

            I talk numbers to lefties and righties all the time like it’s my job…because it is my job. please tell me about all your experience! on second thought: don’t.

          • torrentprime

            “then… tell me about how receptive the Left is to numbers and facts”
            Gosh, he went from “a few Lefties are wrong BUT they are in control” to “half the Left thinks counting is witchcraft” to “the Left hates and rejects reality” awful quick. Funny.

  • King Beauregard

    I bumped into this page “trashing” Kristen Bell for being kind, helpful, grounded, etc:

    https://www.buzzfeed.com/morganshanahan/at-least-10-reasons-that-kristen-bell-is-just-super-effing

    I enjoyed the page, but it is basically an ironic version of what people do to Hillary unironically. “Hillary has a hand running a world-wide charity that takes money from rich people all over the globe? Does it get any more corrupt than that???”

  • torrentprime

    Hey, um – everyone?
    This thread has healed my soul.
    I’ve been PO’ed, angry at white entitled/privileged lefties for selling out the country, spent day after day waiting for the next axe to fall, literally lost best/couldn’t be closer friends during/because of the election (one of whom trashed her to me in PAGES-long emails regularly… then emailed me the morning Trump won and said, “Look! See what I was talking about? She never delivers.” We don’t talk anymore)

    This thread, though… Thanks everyone. A fuckload.

  • Rockerbabe

    I haven’t figured out if Wonkette loves or hated HRC. I get confused with all the pivoting.

    • BBStevens

      the piece is satire. Wonkette doesn’t hate HRC by any stretch.

  • Angelo G

    I am laughing at all the morons that will go out and buy this womans book and make her even more rich.
    Then she will talk about how she wants to help the middle class again.
    Give me a F ing break.
    You are all a bunch of gullable loosers.

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