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Our girl Hillz is releasing a book today in spite of the fact that several men have explained to her in stern tones that this vexes them. Keep those forehead veins a-poppin, fellas! We hope Hillary keeps releasing pundit-enraging books all day every day. Never shut up with your bossy, over-prepared, frankly inspiring self, Madame Secretary!

Here is a by-no-means-complete list of the titles we hope Hillary will be releasing and releasing at least until Chris Matthews shuts his turkey gobbler:

1,001 Pictures of My Double Turbo-Fingers

Which Part of “He’s a Russian Puppet” Did You Dipsquats Not Understand?

Suck It: A Guide to the Cocktails I Drink Now That I No Longer Have to Be Polite to Doucheschooners Like Chris Cillizza

Eat It: A Recipe Book of Cookies I Never Baked and Never Fucking Will

Seriously, Go Fuck Yourselves

I Am Coming to Cram Feminism Into All of Your Video Games

A Loser Cries What? How I Learned Everything about Football in One Month So I Could Infiltrate Sean Hannity’s Fantasy League and Spank Him Like the Infant He Is

Also I Can Beat You at Pool

His Go-to Karaoke Song Is Stacey Q’s “Two of Hearts”: All the Intelligence My State Department Gathered on Putin

Any of You Jacksmacks Still Want to Talk about E-Mails?

Have I Mentioned Go Fuck Yourselves? Because Go Fuck Yourselves

Thoughts Had While Staring at Trey Gowdy’s Head for Eleven Hours

Some Excellent Benghazi Questions You Bozos Never Even Thought Of, Presented with Answers, Charts and Footnotes

How Headbands Work: Have None of You Dickwimples Ever Grown out Your Bangs?

Oh, You Wealthy White Suburbanites Would Like a Leader Savvy Enough to Deal with Kim Jong-un Now? Good Luck with That, Pinot Breath

Hillareading the Clues: A Series of Murder Mysteries Set in Washington, DC and Arkansas Just to Fuck with Your Heads

Advanced Maintenance for Your Vintage Harley: You’re Goddamned Right I Can Do That Too

Jesus Christ, Would it Have Killed You to Cover Trump’s Extensive RICO Network for 30 Seconds?

Now That You Have Struck Me Down I Am More Powerful Than You Can Possibly Imagine

Haven’t ordered What Happened yet? Do it here and we get like a penny.

Haven’t ordered a Nasty Woman memorial keepsake tote, tee and coffee mug? You can do that here!

Wonkette is ad-free and supported only by Readers Like You. So send us money or buy, like, an iPhone case above. Your call!

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  • beingreleased
    • kaydenpat

      Bloop!

  • TJ Barke

    Republicans are Un-American Garbage, Here’s Why:

  • memzilla Ω

    Also by HRC: Everything I Like About Donald Trump (298 blank pages)

    • little miss high and mighty

      we don’t even like them

    • ManchuCandidate

      Donald Trump’s Book of Knowledge. 299 blank pages because he has issues bigly issues.

    • proudgrampa

      This will be a best seller.

    • kaydenpat

      Actually, thankfully he’s dumb and incompetent or we’d be in a worse position. The worse kind of Republican is one who gets things done because what he/she gets done is always awful.

    • IdRatherBeDancing

      I remember in the debate (the really awful one where Cult 45 stalked her) when someone asked each to say something they like about the other. HRC had to force out niceties baout Trump’s deplorable spawn. I would have said, “This will be fast. Nothing.” and dropped the mic and walked off the debate stage.

  • little miss high and mighty

    gotta run to the salt mines now.good night all!

    • CindyinEncinitas

      See you at the camps!

  • Scooby

    It used to be you needed a hereditary monarchy to get rulers this crazy.

    • kaydenpat

      And Americans ran and voluntarily elected the SOB. Sigh.

      • YoBunnyBunny

        And don’t you just love all the loft GOP admin rhetoric about “Serving at the pleasure,” of his Royal Assholeness? Methinks, the royal cos-play has gone a bit too far.

        • Good_Gawd_Yall

          If I recall my “West Wing” correctly, that phrase has been around forever; it’s just that the Repukes couldn’t bring themselves to utter it during Obama’s administration, so we’ve kinda forgotten that it’s a thing.

  • ManchuCandidate

    HILS’ Femsplaining: Talking to Condescending Assholes and telling them to Shut the fucking up politely or not.

  • Vincent Ricola

    I can’t wait to read this book and will buy it using the wonkette link so you kids can get rich off my pennies! 7-minute abs!

  • BreakingDeadMen

    Goldwater Girl? Oh, You Must Mean the Russian Pee Hookers

  • shivaskeeper

    Hillz mentioned in the headline of an article written by a woman? The trolls and bots will be here shortly.

    • BreakingDeadMen

      BRING IT

    • proudgrampa

      LOOK OUT BELOW (ABOVE?)!!!

      • shivaskeeper

        Above for me. I sort by newest.

        • proudgrampa

          Yeah. Me too.

  • beingreleased

    Hillary revealed her one lie during the campaign: Trump’s kids are actually assholes (but we already knew that).

  • House0fTheBlueLights

    This post is All The Coffee Spewed on the Keyboard Awards. I may have to retire it.

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      Also, More Ali, plz. kthnxbai

      • proudgrampa

        Yeah. Who is this “Ali Davis”, anyway?

        • La forza del resistino

          former Oakland Raiders owner?

  • Resistance Fighter Astraea

    Suck It, Bros

  • BreakingDeadMen

    Cult Deprogramming: How to Save the Bernie Bro in Your LIfe

    • Crystalclear12

      Can I pre-order that?

    • kaydenpat

      Someone should write that book tbh. There are still scores of Bernie Bros attacking Clinton and Democrats even now.

    • Jeffery Campbell

      I’m sorry, is this something we want to do?

      • BreakingDeadMen

        When possible. Otherwise, cut bait.

    • miss_grundy

      I think these people are bigger cultists than the Scientologists and if you have been watching Leah Remini’s series on them you would know what I mean. And Leah Remini’s series won an Emmy.

      • BreakingDeadMen

        They are all pikers next to Evangelicals and Dominionists

  • PresidentTrumpChicken (R GOP)

    Bring On The Hate: I Truly Don’t Give A Fuck

  • BreakingDeadMen

    Fuck Me? No, Fuck You

  • TJ Barke

    You Got the Worst President in American History, Hope You’re Happy.

  • Walter Wellstone

    Yes, I Have a Vagina. Got a Problem With That?

    • kaydenpat

      Unfortunately, too many folks said, “Yes”.

  • Dutchman

    Let me just lay this up early and preemptively for the inevitable Purity Pony riders that will be along to declare:
    DNC Cheatered for Hillz
    Bernie could have won
    She is/was a corporatist shill
    Warmonger Hillz
    and all the rest of their nonsensical crap….

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/d7933f282616224a3a70ddeefe2ef95c3eac2900d28bfd51d01d7fc0db7df251.jpg

    • kaydenpat

      They’ll ride that Killary hatred through 2020 right into another four years of Trump.

      • Dutchman

        The hopeful part of me says surely they wouldn’t.

        The realistic part of says yeah, they’re just that fucking stupid.

    • I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again. BERNIE WOULD HAVE BEEN SLAUGHTERED IN THE GENERAL.

      • YoBunnyBunny

        “HE’Z A PINKO COMMIE BIG CITY YANKEE JEW!!!!1!1!111111111!1”

        ETA: Of course, “Real America” in the flyover states would have loved him.

    • PubOption

      You forgot the pneumonia.

    • Now you CAN believe all the stuff you mentioned – and many do – WHILE STILL realising that she was the LESSER EVIL to the fucking FASCIST.

  • Occupied Territory of Kavefish

    Weaponized Shrill… PSYCH! This is the Alex Jones Bio!

  • Wild Cat

    “In the Heart of the Heart of This Disgusting Country”

    “A Good Man Is Hard to Find, but Sociopaths Are Plentiful”

    “I’m OK. You’re the Moran Who Voted for a Nazi”

    “No Country for Older Women”

    “Enjoy Your Cow Patties, America!: The Gerrymandering Cookbook”

    • Roadstergal

      “No Country for Older Women”

      Hellz yes. The Coen brothers can do that movie remake, too.

      • calliecallie

        Someone really does need to write that book.

  • bbayliss

    “Grab This, Motherfuckers.”

  • WeaselPoo

    Hillary should STFU with all this reminding me of what might have been and making me sad/mad again.

    • miss_grundy

      I think Hillz should scream in your ear. I think every woman in America should scream in your ear and in your face.

      • WeaselPoo

        My injection of ” STFU ” ( in particular) was sardonic and the following ‘complaint’ intended to be satiric of the ‘sensitive’ RW/4chan type males who can’t get laid or make their own sammitches on account of being superior somehow (as Robyn P. often writes hilariousy).
        Hillary was my preferred candidate over Obama for 2008 because of her political experience above all. ( My first US vote was for Mondale, significantly because he had a female running mate). The women I’ve worked with and for in business life have usually been better at their jobs (and smarter about business politics) than equal or higher placed and higher paid men. I made my overworked under appreciated amd underpaid female boss, Yasmin, a manual desktop ”meter’ that she could turn from “can I at least have my coffee first?!” up to “ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!!!” (She still has it, 5 years later).
        Women are entitled to scream about the shit they have to deal with after all this time, but the one’s I’ve been privileged to know and work with have never completely lost their shit…unlike me (a couple of times) and a lot of fellow men I have known.
        So IMHO I don’t need what you prescribe but a lot of men deserve some shouting-at and by all means, have at it!

  • CindyinEncinitas

    Pantsuits: Yes or Hell Yes?

  • Vincent Ricola

    Setting up a secure home server: Learn the secrets that kept my server from getting hacked while the rest of the worlds data was getting delivered to Russia in a zip file.

    • Resistance Fighter Astraea

      Haha!

    • WeaselPoo

      Yeah…it seems to me that Hillz is bending over backwards here: Per above there was no practical “mistake” ….the “mistake” was in not anticipating EIGHT BULLSHIT ‘INVESTIGATIONS’ into an event that no one else specifically anticipated either.

      • miss_grundy

        Having to deal with bullshit when the Republicans in the House decided to cut the security budget of U.S. consulates and embassies worldwide. And then trying to place the blame on her. And in her best midwestern, Eastern-educated way she told them to “go fuck themselves with a broom handle.”

  • Joe Beese
    • Occupied Territory of Kavefish

      Is that Putin on the double-necked Keytar?

    • Wolf Tracker

      Hey Joe- how is your mom doing?

      • Joe Beese

        Water damaged, but unbowed. Thank you for asking.

    • Ali

      Thank you for this valuable public service.

    • Zyxomma

      Thanks for posting. I didn’t get the reference, because she sucked.

  • UnsaltedSinner
  • Crystalclear12

    I Told You Thusly.
    By Hillary Clinton.

    • Parakeetist

      Y’all Kiss My Ass, by Hillary.

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    “How To Suffocate A Supreme Court Justice In His Sleep And Get Away With It; A Modern Guide For Democratic Activists”.

  • beingreleased

    Is this a good place for me to mention how much I love the people who said “Hillary isn’t perfect so I really had no choice but to vote for the worst person possible”?

    • proudgrampa

      None better.

    • Wolf Tracker

      Did you say that when she lost to Obama?

      • beingreleased

        Wow! My very own troll! Suck it, the rest of you non-trolled people.

        • Wolf Tracker

          I take that as a yes.

          • beingreleased

            You do that, sweetie.

          • Wolf Tracker

            Ok cupcake.

          • sgt. jmk of the résistance

            No, no, that’s my word. You don’t get to use it.

        • Resistance Fighter Astraea

          Congrats!

        • SomeBigRedDog

          Don’t feel too special. It keeps handing around. It seems to be unaware that its a troll.

      • BreakingDeadMen

        No, just when I fucked your mother

      • shivaskeeper

        False equivalency. She lost to Obama who saw eye to eye with her on the vast majority of their positions.

        This comment was directed at the 12% or so of the Bros who voted for Two Scoops, a man who is antithesis of everything they claimed to believe in and be fighting for.

        • Wolf Tracker

          Uh no!

          Better go revisit that election.

          He won the independents and liberals that she could never get and is why she lost to Trump.

          • shivaskeeper

            12% of Bernie’s supporters went for Trump. “Progressive” my ass. Being progressive only if things go 100% their way is not progressive. It is however being a spoiled brat.

          • Wolf Tracker

            AND you got that stat where?

            Independents do not vote for party. You want their vote you have to earn it and you will need independents and liberals to win any national election.

            That is just a reality you need to deal with.

          • cheetojeebus

            Actually, there is a more pressing reality you need to deal with ass sneeze. It entails fucking off.

          • shivaskeeper

            12% of Bernie supporters went for Trump:

            http://www.npr.org/2017/08/24/545812242/1-in-10-sanders-primary-voters-ended-up-supporting-trump-survey-finds

            Maybe, just maybe, your movement is not a pure and good and righteous as you think it is. In any case, if you want to shape the Democratic Party, become a Democratic Party member or sit the fuck down and shut the fuck up. You still don’t get to make demands about how the Party needs to appease you from the outside.

          • Wolf Tracker

            A survey is not a valid stat.

            Do not ever think to give me orders.

            You should know better by now.

          • shivaskeeper

            I’m not giving you orders. That’s just one more logical failure on your part. I’m pointing out your utterly unrealistic view that others should bend to appease you and yours for. . . reasons.

            I’m telling you no one needs to listen to your bullshit when it comes to making policies if you are not part of the party. I’m telling you no one is going to listen to you. I’m telling you that you are going to either accept what scraps you are given for standing outside and yelling in, or you are going to join and try to make the changes you want. Not one of those things is an order.

            Last time you called me a fascist. Is that why I should know better?

          • MissNomer
          • Michael Smith

            Did Trump win independents and liberals? Maybe some of the former, I highly doubt he won very much of the latter. I think, if we are talking about liberals that are further left than what Fox would describe as liberal (since Fox at this point thinks John McCain is liberal) a lot of them stayed home or voted third party because they didn’t like the Dem candidate. So its more like if you are the Democrat, independent and liberal votes are vital, while if you are a Republican you just need to sit around and wait for the Democrats to eat each other so that you win by default.

          • MissNomer
          • diogenez

            No one wants to talk about the single most important fact from the 2016 election:

            46% or eligible voters did not vote. You ignore this or disapprove of those citizens all you want, but if no lessons are learned from that sad fact, then the GOP is going to keep control of the government.

            Sniping, in-fighting, and circular firing squads aren’t going to win anything for Dems, though I’m pretty sure this comment will earn me plenty of smug replies.

          • Dutchman
        • diogenez

          “Who Said It: Hillary Clinton or John McCain?
          Just try to tell the difference in our hawk vs. hawk quiz.”

          http://www.motherjones.com/politics/2014/08/hillary-clinton-john-mccain-quotes-foreign-policy-quiz/

          • shivaskeeper

            Was John McCain mentioned? At all? I understand Hillary is impure and will never be good enough. But bringing up an article from 2014 while the conversation was about 2008 and 2016 is an attempt at deflection.

            It also did nothing to address the 12% of the supposedly “more progressive that thou” contingent that voted for Trump. Care to try again?

          • diogenez

            I didn’t think it need explicit mention, but Hillary lost to Obama because of her hawkish foreign policy views (which closely resemble those of John McCain and Joe Liebermann), and most specifically because Obama notably opposed the 2003 war against Iraq, while Hillary famously cheered it from the US Senate floor.

            This is your specific comment that I was responding to, btw:

            “She lost to Obama who saw eye to eye with her on the vast majority of their positions.”

          • shivaskeeper

            Hillary’s a war monger, I got that. What was your point? The sub thread was about the 12% of Bernie’s supporters who voted for the person who was the antithesis of what they claimed to believe in.

            Seeing eye to eye on the vast majority is not the same as seeing eye to eye on everything.

            Would you care to address the “Hillary is the embodiment of evil so as a ‘progressive’ I have no choice but to vote for Trump” crowd that I was talking about, or are we done here?

          • diogenez

            Your sneering attitude is really off-putting. I hope you don’t talk that way to people in real life.

            The Iraq issue was a VERY significant point of departure, so to claim that they saw “eye to eye on the cast majority” is to minimize an important issue. You claimed false equivalence from a different comment, and THAT is what I chose to respond to.

            Anyone who voted Trump is a hopeless imbecile, btw.

          • shivaskeeper

            Iraq was an important issue. It was not the only issue. It was not the only issue they disagreed on either.

            Perhaps my sneering attitude is due to having to continually address the purity above all progressive contingent that voted for Trump and the ones who come in to defend that vote as the only option they had with all the twisted logic, excuses, and justifications that entails.

            If you want to discuss things with me, this was probably not the thread to start with. The lefter than thou shitheels get the same ire I direct at the GOPers.

          • diogenez

            A persistent criticism that Hillary makes of Bernie is that he’s “not even a Democrat” but I have to ask: how does her new book help Democrats – especially in the 2018 elections? These comment forums are a perfect example of sniping and infighting that will only keep the GOP in control of Congress. Hillary has only reignited the simmering tension and resentments leftover from last fall. How does this help?

            I voted for Clinton, btw.

          • shivaskeeper

            Because this is an internal fight that needs to be had. There is no winning, no progress, and no movement of any policies at all in catering to the intransigent, purity at all costs, no compromise wing of the left. That shit needs to be snuffed out. The GOPers already let their version of it loose with the Tea Party. We do not need a leftist version of it.

            Also, those simmering tensions will not go away if they are ignored. They will continue to simmer, and just get worse.

            I understand a fair amount of the Bernie Bros who post are bots and trolls stirring up shit. But they lead otherwise sane people down a path that ends in “there is no difference in Clinton or Trump” which is so stupid as to defy all reason.

          • diogenez

            I couldn’t agree with your last sentence more, though I’m not sure that a purge of dissent is a very good idea – too Stalinesque.

          • shivaskeeper

            Not a purge. Dissenting views are a good thing. I’m talking about doing away with the fiction that all points of view should get equal consideration.

            No compromise under any circumstances should not get equal consideration. As a policy and an ideal it should be pushed back to the fringes where it belongs. Backing a pro forced birth candidate because they are for free college, in other words, bargaining away someone’s bodily autonomy for any reason should not get equal consideration. Things like that are what I am talking about.

  • La forza del resistino

    Quentin Tarantino could work with a title of ‘Thoughts Had While Staring at Trey Gowdy’s Head for Eleven Hours’

    • WeaselPoo

      Or Sam Peckinpah

  • ariel_gee_398

    Hillary: The Complete Goldman Speeches
    Ch. 1 – If You Want To Know What I Said, Just Ask Any of Trump’s Cabinet Members
    Ch. 2 – Fuck You
    -The End-

    • IdRatherBeDancing

      Epilogue – Besides It’s None of Your Fucking Business What I Said

      • theblackdog

        Epi-Epilogue: No, really Bernie, it’s none of your fucking business.

    • Unsaintific

      If I were a rich guy I would pay you to buy your post and run it as a full page advertisement in bigly fonts on all the newspapers.

  • TJ Barke

    You Lit Your Bed On Fire, America

  • kaydenpat

    #Stillwithher.

    She can write a book every day. I hope she knows that she has millions of admirers who are proud that we voted for her last November.

  • Crystalclear12

    It’s funny when it’s happening to someone else.
    By Hillary Clinton

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    “Pizza And Child Porn Rings; My Secret Life”.

  • Parakeetist

    Zero, Zero, Zero Fucks to Give.

  • Michael Smith

    “Is Donald Trump A Secret Member of the Muslim Brotherhood, and Other Shit I Apparently Should Have Tried To Say, Because Wow The Intelligence of The American Voter Has Really Decreased In The Last 9 Years Or So”

    • theblackdog

      Number 30 will surprise you!

  • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

    I’m Not Going Away, So Y’All Better Get Used To It

  • ChancellorKnuckles

    I would really like to read the mysteries one…sounds like it’d be a lot of fun. Bubba could be her sidekick that keeps getting himself into wacky situations that somehow help her solve the case.

    • Occupied Territory of Kavefish

      I sense a re-boot in the making: Remington Steele Dossier

    • BosGrl

      IDK, he would probably leave Taco Bell wrappers all over the car.

  • CountryClubJihadi

    It Puts The Deplorables In The Basket Or It Gets The Hose Again.

    • WeaselPoo

      Dang that made me chuckle! Thanks!

  • Wolf Tracker

    That’s it- get it all out and let the healing begin.

    Then let’s talk about Kamala Harris for president and make that happen.

    • BosGrl

      I honestly can’t tell if you like women or hate us…

      • Wolf Tracker

        I love women. Just don’t vote because of what sex a person is.

        • BosGrl

          We don’t want you to love us. Seriously. Simple respect.

          • Wolf Tracker

            Where were you disrespected?

            If by that you mean bend the knee the answer is no.

          • BosGrl

            ??? I’m done. I have no freaking idea what you’re talking about.

          • Wolf Tracker

            Of course you do.

          • Resistance Fighter Astraea

            im not sure he does either

          • SomeBigRedDog

            It’s attempts at snark are painful to watch. Don’t feed it and maybe it will go away.

          • Wolf Tracker

            You didn’t have to respond to my post in the firts place yet here you are.

          • SomeBigRedDog

            I didn’t respond to you. Learn how to internet better.

          • Wolf Tracker

            Now you just stir the pot around you which is so much better.

          • SomeBigRedDog

            Yeah, I’m the one pot stirring. Ooookay dude.

            I was trying to make an effort NOT to reply to you today but since you engaged me . . .

      • Resistance Fighter Astraea

        I have a guess.

        • Wolf Tracker

          We pretty much exposed your agenda already,

          • BosGrl

            See – that right there. “Agenda”.

          • Wolf Tracker

            Not all women here have that agenda and probably not even most.

          • BosGrl

            What agenda are you talking about?

          • Manders

            What agenda are you talking about? I don’t understand.

          • Resistance Fighter Astraea

            The vagenda!

          • Manders

            I love that he won’t answer. Doesn’t that make him a troll?

          • Shanzgood

            And…we?

          • Resistance Fighter Astraea

            Admit you’re playing a long game with friendly replies and upfists until you have me where you want me!

          • Shanzgood

            Egads! You’ve uncovered my EVIL CLIQUE AGENDA!

          • Resistance Fighter Astraea

            Going to the bank to inform them of my upcoming trip and loading up on airport snacks is admittedly suspicious.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            ALLEGEDLY!

    • Resistance Fighter Astraea
      • Wolf Tracker

        Kamala hater I see.

        Is it because she is a woman or part Hispanic and black?

        • BosGrl

          It’s the “there, there, dears, get it all out” that she’s saying Fuck You about. Not Kamala Harris.

          • Wolf Tracker

            Sure sure.

        • Resistance Fighter Astraea

          Can we call this one a troll yet

          • Wolf Tracker

            You tried that before.

            I do believe posting a fuck you pic is the definition of troll.

          • Manders

            God help me, I sure hope so.

          • ziggywiggy

            A very desperate troll. Trying WAY TOO HARD.

          • Manders

            (he seems to have gone quiet. maybe we ran him off. fingers crossed.)

          • Erala Contratista

            You all still flogging that dead horse?

          • sgt. jmk of the résistance

            We could have called this one a troll a week ago.

        • Manders

          She’s. Not. Hispanic. If you’re going to wave her race around in order to accuse other people, could you maybe learn a little more about her first?

          • Wolf Tracker

            Funny how the non racists are focusing so much on on her race.

          • Manders

            YOU BROUGHT IT UP.. And you got it wrong, twice, and you can’t stand to admit that.

          • Wolf Tracker

            AND that matters to you why?

          • Manders

            I’m not playing that game. You brought up her race. You did. You did it so you could accuse other people of being racist who have *other reasons* for not wanting Harris to run yet. Just like you claim to need *other reasons* to vote for a woman besides her gender. Even though you seem to think women voted for Hillary because of her gender, you’re quick to use the identities of other candidates to try to fend off criticism of them–and you.

            And you don’t even know WHAT Harris’s race actually is. I think it fucking matters to *Kamala Harris* what her race is. (It’s why Chinese people don’t like being misidentified as Japanese, and vice versa. It’s why Sikhs hate being misidentified as Muslims. It’s why the British like to be called “British” and not “English.” It matters.)

          • Wolf Tracker

            No you focused on her race as if that meant something.

            The person that supported Hillary that lost to Obama and Trump wants to give me advice and orders.

            No thanks!

          • Manders

            I’m
            not playing that game. You brought up her race. You did. You did it so
            you could accuse other people of being racist who have *other reasons*
            for not wanting Harris to run yet. Just like you claim to need *other
            reasons* to vote for a woman besides her gender. Even though you seem to
            think women voted for Hillary because of her gender, you’re quick to
            use the identities of other candidates to try to fend off criticism of
            them–and you.

            And you don’t even know WHAT Harris’s race actually
            is. I think it fucking matters to *Kamala Harris* what her race is.
            (It’s why Chinese people don’t like being misidentified as Japanese, and
            vice versa. It’s why Sikhs hate being misidentified as Muslims. It’s
            why the British like to be called “British” and not “English.” It
            matters.)

          • Wolf Tracker

            You just sound desperate now.

            Have a great day!

          • Manders

            I’m
            not playing that game. You brought up her race. You did. You did it so
            you could accuse other people of being racist who have *other reasons*
            for not wanting Harris to run yet. Just like you claim to need *other
            reasons* to vote for a woman besides her gender. Even though you seem to
            think women voted for Hillary because of her gender, you’re quick to
            use the identities of other candidates to try to fend off criticism of
            them–and you.

            And you don’t even know WHAT Harris’s race actually
            is. I think it fucking matters to *Kamala Harris* what her race is.
            (It’s why Chinese people don’t like being misidentified as Japanese, and
            vice versa. It’s why Sikhs hate being misidentified as Muslims. It’s
            why the British like to be called “British” and not “English.” It
            matters.)

          • Roadstergal

            OK, that was toddler-level and hilarious. :D

            HER RACE! HER RACE! YOU CAN’T HANDLE HER RACE!

            Um, that’s not actually her race.

            WHY ARE YOU SO FOCUSED ON HER RACE??

    • shivaskeeper

      Condescending much?

      • Wolf Tracker

        Just helping you through the grief process.

        • shivaskeeper

          You post the same condescending comment and links repeatedly to be helpful? Is that what you are saying?

          • Wolf Tracker

            You ” become a Democratic Party member or sit the fuck down and shut the fuck up.”

            Nothing more to discuss.

          • shivaskeeper

            Yes. That is not condescending, nor am I trying to claim a high road by saying it. I’m just tired of, “Your groupo is not good enough for me to be part of, but you need to change all these things anyway.” Fuck that. Join or shut up.

            Another analogy for you:

            You and your friends are going to go on a pub crawl this Friday. I, who am not part of your group and am not going to be part of your group, starts telling you where you can and cannot go.

            Is that acceptable to you? Why or why not?

          • Wolf Tracker

            No- what you are doing is giving people orders to think like you and vote like you.

            Probably not the first time.

          • shivaskeeper

            Not quite.

            I’m telling you that if you want to get the Democratic Party to take your advice you can join the Party to make the changes you want, or stand outside and have a hissy fit. You seem to be OK with the hissy fit idea. Just don;t be surprised when no one does whatever you are screaming about them to do.

            I can accept that the Democratic Party isn’t perfect ad has a long way to go. I can accept that and work to make it better. I can accept that there are many views within the Party. Some are more valid than others, but that is a different discussion. You seem to think the party is some monolithic bloc, which is demonstrably untrue and divorced from reality.

            So, again, I’m not giving you orders. I’m telling you that you are not going to be taken seriously. I’m telling you that you don’t get a seat at the table if you are unwilling to come in the house.

          • Wolf Tracker

            The person that supported Hillary that lost to Obama and Trump wants to give me advice and orders.

            No thanks!

          • shivaskeeper

            Bernie lost to Hillary. By your logic he needs to stop giving advice, and insights as well. Hypocrite much?

          • Wolf Tracker

            He is still a Senator with a job to do and he is also not running.

          • IdRatherBeDancing

            Ya, after 30 fucking years in Congress, just maybe, maybe he can name another post office! Hoo boy, some stellar job.

          • Wolf Tracker

            Hating on Bernie will not win you a national election.

            Learn from 2016.

            The people that supported Hillary that lost to Obama and Trump wants to give me advice and orders.

            No thanks!

          • IdRatherBeDancing

            LMAO — kissing his and his cultists’ asses doesn’t win elections either — or were you asleep in 2016. Sandsers and his fuckstick cultists not surprisingly over value their worth. Fuck Bernie Sanders. Oh, and Sanders LOST to Hillary, bigly. So maybe he should stop giving advice.

          • Wolf Tracker

            Without Liberals and Independents you can not win a national election.

            That is just a reality you need to deal with.

          • Manders

            Well, it appears you can’t win a primary with them, so . . .

          • shivaskeeper

            And you didn’t answer the question in the analogy.

          • Marceline

            Being non-responsive is this troll’s preferred method of derailing.

      • Shanzgood

        It’s chronic.

      • Paul

        “How to win friends and influence people.”

    • pstokk

      Don’t you have horses to feed, and wolves to track and shit?

      • Wolf Tracker

        They are fed and doing great thanks.

    • Marceline

      Yes, because swinging from presidential race to presidential race is what we should be focusing on. Screw those pesky midterms.

      • Wolf Tracker

        Now when does that election campaign start for 2020 again?

        What do you have against Kamala?

        Is it because she is a woman or part Hispanic and part Black?

        • Shanzgood

          Marceline IS Black, dipstick.

          • Wolf Tracker

            Which has what to do with what and don’t get personal.

            You know how that turns out.

          • Shanzgood

            Don’t lecture me.

        • Marceline

          It’s the fact that she’s in the middle of her first time and she owes it to the people of her state to focus on serving them. It’s also because I think that Obama’s lack of experience led him to make some serious errors and I would like for her to avoid that mistake. It’s the fact that we on the left should be concentrating on keeping good people in Congress and sending more instead of always looking at the White House.

          Two additional points:

          1.) I’m a black woman so that racism gambit isn’t going to work on me.
          2.) She’s part South Asian Indian, not Hispanic. If you’re going to try to bait, you should at least get your facts straight.

          • Wolf Tracker

            So we can’t discuss a candidate because you want to keep beating the dead horse 2016 election?

            I don’t care if you are yellow polkadots and hermaphrodite because she has the qualifications and you seem to be pushing for someone else.

            There was no racism gambit in my post unless you have some race issues:

            ” She’s part South Asian Indian, not Hispanic.”

            Hint: Hillary is not running.

          • Marceline

            I AM pushing for someone else and I laid out exactly my reasons why but I see you glossed right over those.

            I’m just trying to figure out why you’re concern trolling for Kamala Harris when you obviously don’t know much about her.

          • Wolf Tracker

            “I AM pushing for someone else”

            Thanks for admitting that and you are on my post so who is trolling who?

            I don’t care about here race but it does seem to be a sticking point with the people here that supported Clinton.

            Just sayin…

          • Marceline

            You don’t care about her race even as you constantly bring it up.

            Fall back and stay in your lane troll.

          • Wolf Tracker

            Oh another one that wants to give orders and have everyone bend the knee.

            Must be a club here.

            No and I wiil keep promoting who I think is the best person for the job.

          • Shanzgood

            Don’t you know that all the lanes are belong to HIM?!?!

          • Wolf Tracker

            Not at all but I can drive with the best of them on any road.

          • Wolf Tracker

            The person that supported Hillary that lost to Obama and Trump wants to give me advice and orders.

            No thanks!

          • Manders

            Hey mods? This troll is just repeating posts. Like a troll. Can we ban, please?

          • Wolf Tracker

            You are on my post so who is trolling who?

            You didn’t have to respond and if supporting Kamala and telling people to move on is trolling then you might look at the articles on Wonkette doing the same thing.

          • Manders

            Oh, did YOU write the post for Wonkette?

          • Manders

            You are repeating posts, like a troll.

          • MissNomer

            Wait a minute, don’t you support that loser Bernie? Why should anyone listen to you?

      • Zyxomma

        Midterms, you say? I’m voting TODAY, in NYC’s Democratic primary, because my representation on City Council is extremely important to me, and I want to help Carlina Rivera, who’s a local mensch, defeat Mary Silver(spoon), a rich attorney who has bought zillions of dollars in ads and the endorsement of NY Daily News.

        • Marceline

          Ugh. I’m home sick today but I still need to drag my sorry carcass to the polls for the mayoral primary. Thanks for the reminder.

          • Zyxomma

            Sorry, Marceline, that you have to drag your sick ass out of bed, but thank you for doing so!

  • Covfefe’s Evil Twin

    A Very Special ‘FUCK YOU to Susan Sarandon, Putin’s Other Bitch

    • Vincent Ricola

      I’m already writing that book!

      • Covfefe’s Evil Twin

        It almost writes itself.

    • Moebym of the Returners

      And its sequel, The Best for Last: The Most Special Fuck You to Jill Stein

  • bookish

    http://www.thedailybeast.com/exclusive-russia-used-facebook-events-to-organize-anti-immigrant-rallies-on-us-soil

    Russian operatives hiding behind false identities used Facebook’s event management tool to remotely organize and promote political protests in the U.S., including an August 2016 anti-immigrant, anti-Muslim rally in Idaho, The Daily Beast has learned.

    A Facebook spokesperson confirmed to the Daily Beast that the social-media giant “shut down several promoted events as part of the takedown we described last week.” The company declined to elaborate, except to confirm that the events were promoted with paid ads. (This is the first time the social media giant has publicly acknowledged the existence of such events.)

    The Facebook events—one of which echoed Islamophobic conspiracy theories pushed by pro-Trump media outlets—are the first indication that the Kremlin’s attempts to shape America’s political discourse moved beyond fake news and led unwitting Americans into specific real-life action.

  • Resistance Fighter Astraea

    I just listened to Hillary give instructions for deep breathing exercises so I hope her self help book for surviving Trump comes out soon.

    • Occupied Territory of Kavefish

      Sade & Chardonnay: Survival Strategies For a Trumped-Up America

  • (((Alt-Sedagive)))

    Backwards and in Heels: How I Won the Popular Vote.

  • IdRatherBeDancing

    I’m Smarter Than All the Motherfucking Penises In The Room. Always.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Especially Rafael’s.

  • Dr. Rrrrrobotnik

    “Wisconsin: How it’s my fault for not visiting, even though Russ Feingold lost too.”

  • miss_grundy

    Madeleine Albright established a firm that helps companies understand how foreign policy affects them. Perhaps Hillz should form her own or become a partner in Mrs. Albright’s firm. That way she can be paid beaucoup bucks for her knowledge of foreign policy and it would make more men’s heads explode. And keep writing books.

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    “Don’t Fuck With Me; The True Story Of Vince Foster”.

  • beingreleased

    OT: When I lived in Houston, I said that during the summer (which lasts from February to November) it was like living in an armpit. Today, its apparently like living in an unwashed armpit. (By the way, January in Houston is really nice).
    https://twitter.com/ArielleDRoss/status/907615804090351617

  • CindyinEncinitas

    I Would Have Won If It Weren’t for Those Meddling Russians.

  • P’jama Pahnts

    Run or Ruin: How “I” make all the difference

  • Marceline

    My Middle Finger: a Picture Book

    • BreakingDeadMen

      A pop up book

  • Bright Bart

    “Pizzagate while you Benghazi” with color diagrams!

  • Bub, the cynical zombie
  • ariel_gee_398

    Seth Rich: He Died Tryin’ (to fend off a robber, not leak documents to Assange, you insensitive, mouth-breathing goobers)

  • Fitzgerald Chesterfield

    If My Pantsuit Had Loops, I’d Have Carried the Rust Belt

  • IdRatherBeDancing

    Bernie Sanders Smells Like Rancid Curry — The True Story

  • BadKitty904

    Pantsuits for Fun and Profit

    • Red Bird

      Pantsuits without the pants: a living paradox

      • Zyxomma

        I have one pantsuit from India that is a beautifully decorated dress with a pair of matching pants, and another that is a knee-length Nehru collared tunic with matching pants. I can totally wear either without the pants. ;)

        • Erala Contratista

          My fave fashion source, the local Indian dress shop!
          Do you get bangles with that?

  • “I Fucking Told You So, Asshats”

  • YoBunnyBunny

    Dear Ivanka: Child, Have A Seat!

  • SeeTrain65

    Y’all Wet Your Bed, Now Drown In It.

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    “No, YOU’RE The Puppet. Seriously”

  • marxalot

    I would totally read “Thoughts Had While Staring at Trey Gowdy’s Head for Eleven Hours.”

  • “Infant Men and How to Live Among Them.”

  • Raan

    Now all we need is Podesta’s cookbook.

    WHAT OTHER DELICIOUS MEALS CAN HE PREPARE?

  • BadKitty904

    A SPECIAL PLACE IN HELL: The 2016 Republican Presidential “Campaign”

  • Moebym of the Returners

    Not a book title, but boy, are the anti-Hillary trolls going to slither come out for this one.

    Funny how they keep telling us to move on from the election, but comment on each Hillary article about how awful she is and how Bernie woulda coulda shoulda?

    • jesterpunk

      They are in the Hillary thread from last night.

      • theblackdog

        Still there too, though now it’s the MAGA-heads

      • Marceline

        And the Kamala Harris thread from a few days ago.

        Purity ponies think that internet dog piling is the same as organizing.

        • Diane

          That’s funny!

  • bookish

    So hard to choose just one favorite from this list.

  • Red Bird

    I’m buying this book on line.

  • Ricky Gay

    A variation of OJ’s “If I Did It” would have them all dying from ragegasm!

  • Daniel

    Comey, Dick beginning with the immortal line “Call me female”.

  • Slithytoves

    “A Memoir of My Time on SEAL Team Six” or, “How I killed Osama from the Situation Room.”

  • Stulexington

    “If I was president right now, I’d have to restrain myself.”

  • I would seriously pay big bucks for the book Thoughts I had While Staring at Trey Goudy’s Head for Eleven Hours.

    • Thiazin Red

      Same. I genuinely want that book.

    • Edith Prickly

      “Oh my god, why is it shaped like a shark fin?”

      • Good_Gawd_Yall

        “Seriously, Trey, did your mother clamp her legs shut while you were trying to get out, or what?”

      • sgt. jmk of the résistance

        I nearly lost a whole keyboard because of this. Thank you.

  • I think she really should publish a cookbook.

    • WeaselPoo

      101 Shit Sandwich Recipes This Grandma Told You NOT To Make.

    • Edith Prickly

      To Serve Americans.

      • Resistance Fighter Astraea

        Killary is a cannibal!!!1! -Alex Jones and Wikileaks

  • WeaselPoo

    America! Go Up to Your Room and Think About What You’ve Done!

  • YoBunnyBunny

    She should open her book with something like:

    Myra Breckinridge Hillary Rodham Clinton is a dish, and don’t you ever forget it, you motherfuckers!”

  • Bub, the cynical zombie
    • Beanz&Berryz

      Stewing…

      • Roadstergal

        Hovering over women at debates in a stalky fashion…

        • Shanzgood

          That was so creepy I lost it a bit just watching.

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      Thinking about how much he’d be dating his daughter if he could . . .
      BRB, threw up in my mouth a little.

  • Resistance Fighter Astraea

    I’m well into the book and I’m beginning to suspect it’s about more than Bernie bashing!

  • Les Appentis De la résistance

    Hack Free Email Server Administration

  • Edith Prickly

    “How Many of You Mouthbreathers Can Find Benghazi on a Map? I Thought So”

  • theblackdog

    Hillary and Chelsea’s Guide to Oval Office Etiquette and all it says is “Do the opposite of Ivanka”

  • Bub, the cynical zombie
  • Edith Prickly

    “Why Are Republican Men Such Fucking Asshats? Volume 1 of 10”

    • SprinklemagicResistancebuns

      It would have to be an open ended series, with addendum at least quarterly.

  • Les Appentis De la résistance

    Surviving Complex Partial Seizures and Subcortical Vascular Dementia

    • Beanz&Berryz

      Who has complex partial seizures?

  • Edith Prickly

    “Bernie, Get Over Yourself”

  • bubbuhh

    I would buy all those books just for the dust jackets. Might even read them.

  • Raan

    Also too, I would be absolutely fine more feminism in video games.

    • Parakeetist

      Yes

  • SterWonk

    Stacey Q’s “Two of Hearts”

    For some unfathomable reason, I’ve heard that on the radio recently in the Bay Area. Twice.

    Which is pretty odd, since it wasn’t an ’80s station, and I haven’t heard it in any context in maybe fifteen or twenty years.

    • Ali

      The Universe is trying to tell you something. And it is through that song. That is chilling.

      • SterWonk

        Great, I didn’t need to sleep again ever.

        • Parakeetist

          Oh noes

    • Courser_Resistance

      My radio station does that too, once in a while and yeah, it fucks with my head. They have a ‘3 at 3’ contest in the afternoon. Three songs are played and you have to guess what ties them together. And most of the DJs are from waaaaaay back, so their musical knowledge is…. vast. I almost never guess it.

      • SterWonk

        I don’t think this was anything like that, it was just part of the rotation for a few days. <shrug>

    • stubbornirishlass

      That damn song is a maddening ear worm. Why is it always the crappy ones?

  • JohnBull

    “How to Cook Humans”

    • Morrigan in Oregon

      ” How to Serve Man” was the former title IIRC

  • BouncyFlyer

    “Purity Ponies Make a Terrible Political Adhesive”.

  • Bub, the cynical zombie
  • OneYieldRegular

    I love the idea of Hillary turning to writing political murder mysteries, just to f*ck with her enemies’ heads.

    • Roadstergal

      OMG she has to. I would read the fuck out of some really wonky political novels.

    • If she did one of a conservative radio host who lies to his minions in order to dupe them into buying supplements I am so buying that

  • Edith Prickly

    “Fuck You Very Much, James Comey. BTW, How’d That Work Out for You?”

    • Sharla Fouquet

      Love it! 😂😂😂

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    I want to read all of these books. Hop to it, Hillary!

  • Catstro

    “If I Killed All Those People, Why is Anthony Weiner Still Breathing Air?: A Book of Riddles for Armchair Detectives”

    • BBStevens

      I’d read this in a NY min.

  • PixieThis

    I would buy every book on that list. I hope she reads this article and is inspired!!!

  • dshwa

    The Grey Lady Ignores the Elephant How the N.Y. Times weird obsession with my every action caused them to miss Trump’s Russian ties, lack of mental fitness, sheer assholery, and other frankly fucking glaring flaws.

    • Erala Contratista

      Those ties are Russian!? Figures, since they all seem to be red….

      • dukiepie

        I thought the ties were Chinese…

    • Diane

      AMEN!

  • Lordpnut

    Quentin Tarantino should do the film adaptations.

    • hendenburg2

      I kinda want “A Loser Cries What? How I Learned Everything about Football in One Month So I Could Infiltrate Sean Hannity’s Fantasy League and Spank Him Like the Infant He Is” to air for ESPN’s 30 for 30 series, Brought to us by Fanduel(R)

  • This is some mighty fine writing Ali Davis.

    Cheers.

    • sgt. jmk of the résistance

      For realz.

      • Parakeetist

        Oh yeah

  • SaltySouthernGal

    May I also suggest this title to put the conspiracy theories to bed?

    “Bitch, Please: If I Were that Prolific a Killer, Barry O. Would Have Put Me in Charge of the CIA Instead”

    • CindyinEncinitas

      Bitch Please: Monica, Gennifer, Juanita, Kathleen, Paula, Bill…

      • sgt. jmk of the résistance

        Bitch Please: Anthony Weiner.

        • SaltySouthernGal

          Bitch, Please: A Guide to Surviving Cranky Old Dudes Who Think Women Should Be Seen & Not Heard

          • Diane

            Go, Salty!

          • SaltySouthernGal

            Thanks, Diane.

      • Internet Hitler

        “People Who Would Be Dead if the Conspiracy Theories weren’t Bullshit”

      • Diane

        As Hill would say, Go Fuck Yourself! Your opinion is worthless. Idiotic. Stupid.

  • Bitter Scribe

    “Berniebros Can Eat Shit”

    • SaltySouthernGal

      Chapter One: Cookies or Pies? I Can Bake Both

  • sgt. jmk of the résistance

    These are truly worthy sequels to last year’s excellent I Am A Grown-Ass Adult, And Donald Trump Is A Idiot

    https://wonkette.com/602532/hillary-foreign-policy-speech-donald-trump-idiot

  • geoffalnutt

    Hillary Hears A “Da”.

  • Saxo the Grammarian

    “Purity Ponies Are The WORST Ponies”

    • cleos_mom

      And their offal smells no better than what a Clydesdale produces.

  • Deplorable Catz

    Id be more eager to read on how the Wiki-ed Witch of the left escaped Kansas without a house landing on her

  • cosmiccowgirl

    Hillareading the Clues: A Series of Murder Mysteries Set in Washington, DC and Arkansas Just to Fuck with Your Heads

    Genius.

    • BBStevens

      I think we have a winner

    • Emerald

      It’s great, but the last one in the list is the best.

  • Meccalopolis

    That’s Horrifying by HRC

  • ltmcdies

    “We’re Gonna Need a Bigger Basket” by No Fucks To Give Hitz

  • Paperless Tiger

    How about a pot-boiler about all the Democrat presidential candidates who won the popular vote and lost the Electoral College? Would We Be In This Mess, Hell No.

  • OrdinaryJoe

    How about this one?

    “I Did Not Have Sex with That Woman !!!”

    • Subtitle: “Or did I?”

    • michele9186

      “There is only one candidate who ran for president in 2016 who fucked women Not his wife, and it was NOT ME. You hypocritical mofos.”

      • John A Majane III

        No that book was how to protect sexual predators and destroy their victims for political gain. By Hillary Clinton.

        • akmediascope

          she did what a law student was supposed to do– and she got no political gain. You don’t know what you are talking about

        • michele9186

          Let me get this straight: You judge her for staying with her husband despite his infidelities and allegation of a sexual assault and having angry feelings about it, but you voted for a man who has cheated on every wife and had 13 women accuse him of the very sexual assault behavior he boasted about on tape? And, his wife, Melania, defended him? For political gain? Partisan outrage, much? Hillary has not had any affairs and she and her husband clearly love one another. Melania looks fucking miserable with the Donald.

    • cleos_mom

      Leave your bedroom problems in the bedroom, please.

  • “Hey Dipshits, If I could Rig a Primary Why Wouldn’t I Be Able to Rig a General Election: Fuck You Guys With This Rigged Bullshit Already”

  • Unsaintific

    “Some Excellent Benghazi Questions You Bozos Never Even Thought Of, Presented with Answers, Charts and Footnotes”

    Awesome, that is.

    By I wouldn’t be surprised if Madame Secretary actually has some valid questions regarding Benghazhi for republican a-holes.

  • Keith Taylor

    And over on President Trump Channel someone just wrote, with regard to Hillary Clinton’s book, “It appears that President Trump took a subtle shot at the former first lady’s view of the world.”
    A subtle shot?
    From Donald Trump?
    Not for the first time, I wonder in a daze what world these people live in.
    Any day now, one of them will claim he writes better than Shakespeare, is a greater physicist than Dirac, and a greater tank commander than Guderian.

    • Delu

      Bets are on for that one to be Trump.

  • Moar Wordz

    Love it !

  • Diane

    Great list! My favorite, well 2 favorites –

    Thoughts Had While Staring at Trey Gowdy’s Head for Eleven Hours

    Some Excellent Benghazi Questions You Bozos Never Even Thought Of, Presented with Answers, Charts and Footnotes

  • dukiepie

    Have I Mentioned Go Fuck Yourselves? Because Go Fuck Yourselves

    LOL! No seriously GFY.

  • Moar Wordz

    ” Thoughts had while staring at Trey Gowdy’s head for eleven hours . ” My favorite.

  • phoenix00

    > Also I Can Beat You at Pool

    Now that just makes /me/ sad.

  • Kurt Weil

    “Corporations I have Loved…”

    • Bonnie Fox

      No one has ever found ONE FUCKING VOTE she made that can be tied to corporate funding. NOT ONE. She voted with Bernie 93% of the time. Now does that mean the Saint is 93% corrupt!?! Oh horrors. On the other hand, we have Bernie Sanders voting against the Brady Bill, voting to protect gun makers from lawsuits — even those brought when the guns were defectively made — voting FOR GUNS ON AMTRACK! Because — like — you never know when you’re going to see a good buck on a train! LOL! NONE of which can be tied to the generous donation Saint Bernard accepted from the NRA. PONY UP, SUCKER

  • splashy79
  • Cornelius Fussbudget

    How to impeach a US president based on an investigation into an unprofitable real estate deal

    Could be useful about now.

  • Begin Anew Day

    “Rocking The X Chromosome: Craft Projects To Keep You Happy While The Y Guys Die Off”

  • Smithian

    You are doing the Lord’s work.

  • John A Majane III

    Hillary’s grand adventure for another bus, the one she had is bogged down with all the people she threw under it.

  • HighGuy

    LOL Keep trying to move those mugs. ;-) Literally dying. Can’t even.

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