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stupid stupid boy

WeenerStump McPantyDribbles Junior, firstborn son of the American president, has concluded his testimony for the Senate Judiciary Committee. We already told you about his hilarious new excuses for why he hosted a Russian spy meeting for Russian spies in Trump Tower during the campaign. If you missed it, that’s here. If you don’t feel like clicking, the gist was that he met with the Russians FOR AMERICA, just in case they had information showing Hillary Clinton wasn’t fit to be president, OF AMERICA. Also his very soul was a-tremble with anxiety about whether it was a good idea or a bad idea to do collusion with Russia, but whatevs. Rarely does one get the opportunity to help steal an election for a big strong orange Daddy such as his.

Rachel Maddow noticed something on the Tweeter machine just after the hearing concluded:

OHHHHHHHH SHIT. How many lies did he say to them? Was he even truthful about his name? Did they ask him how big his father’s hands were and, in response, did he exclaim, “THE BIGGINGEST HANDS EVER”? When asked precisely how many witches put curses on him to make his face look that fucked up, did he claim that his face is simply what a genetically superior face looks like? Because that is A LIE.

(Yr Wonkette cannot stop making jokes about Junior’s face today. Sorry not sorry, it’s just on our mind.)

Sounds like maybe the senators had intel in front of them that they knew to be true, which meant they were ready for Junior to pull his pants down and perjure himself all over the floor.

Let’s look at the thingie Coons sent out:

So, the subject line is “Donald Trump Jr. testimony today,” so we can’t blame this on Coons’s office just sending out something random at an inopportune time. And literally the entire thing is a reminder of how it’s against the law to lie to Congress, WINK WINK, NUDGE NUDGE, MOTHERFUCKER.

Oh well, Daddy will probably give him a whoopin’ and send him to his room without dinner, but with a nice shiny pardon, so no big deal.

In related news, special counsel Robert Mueller reportedly wants to have a nice chat with all the White House staffers who were present on Air Force One when Daddy and Hope Hicks were writing Junior’s statement about the Russian spy meeting, so it sounds like he’s solidifying an obstruction of justice case against the president. Wheeeee!

Feel free to speculate about all Junior’s lies to the Senate in the comments of this, your open thread.

Follow Evan Hurst on Twitter RIGHT HERE.

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  • Jeff Ackerman

    First!

  • whitroth

    An open thread! One that Trumpo can hang himself on….

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸

    I keep forgetting, which Trump spawn is the dumb one again?

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Holy Shit, Just How Much Did Donald Trump Jr. Lie To The Senate Today?

    All of it, Katie.

    What? Someone had to say it…

  • Crank Tango

    If they didn’t want him to lie to Congress, they should have sent that email out sooner. I blame Nobama.

  • Résistance Land Shark Ω

    I assume we’ll be subjected to a late night Twitler dump.

  • IdRatherBeDancing

    In magic Karma land, an elephant will be the judge at dipstick’s criminal trial and a Rhino (not RINO) will be his cellmate or vice versa.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Rachel Maddow noticed something on the Tweeter machine just after the hearing concluded

    Whoa if true. And since I trust Rachel…

    https://media.tenor.com/images/8fc40c6506a32e09f2aa80027575e225/tenor.gif

  • Mr. Blobfish

    This is what happens when someone who has never been held accountable is suddenly held accountable. Suck to be you, greaseball.

  • laineypc

    For every picture or mocking of a Trump face, an equal and opposite picture or appreciation of a nicetime face is requested. Barry, Justin, Michelle, Barry holding babies, Justin doing yoga, you know, stuff like that.

  • Permit-holder Ron

    Junior needs that conversation about inside voice vs outside voice again.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    I’ve been saving this ME-OW! for the open thread:

    https://twitter.com/GeorgeTakei/status/905821735139856386

  • Beanz&Berryz

    OTT (Open Thread Topic) – Trying to post a Twit link – did it work? If so, FUCK THESE GUYS with the FURY of the fire across the river from them…

    https://twitter.com/AoDespair/status/905759827703590912?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw&ref_url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.dailykos.com%2F

    • Permit-holder Ron

      ‘My shot went into the fire!’
      ‘Dude, just drop a ball and take the stroke.’

      • Beanz&Berryz

        ‘No, Pussy, on the fire side of the drop…’

    • Lambsendbeds

      Are those asshole playing on one of Trump’s golf courses? Because that would be no surprise.

      • Beanz&Berryz

        No.. a little course on the Washington side of the Columbia River…

        http://www.beaconrockgolf.com/

        • onedollarjuana

          And I thought “Fight Club” was fiction.

    • weejee

      That Columbia River Gorge fire is so sad. It was able to jump the Columbia into Skamania County, Washington earlier this week.

    • ariel_gee_398

      Americans don’t even have the culture to be fiddling while Rome burns…

    • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

      this has gotta be photoshop.

    • MegPasadena

      Wouldn’t the air be too bad for outdoor activities?

      • weighmaster

        Depends on which direction the wind is blowing.

      • Beanz&Berryz

        It’s golf…

    • mrFawkes

      “Do you mind if I play through” –Satan

    • generalleeme

      here you go…fire caused by some dumb 15 year old mofo tossing smoke bombs over a cliff in the Columbia Gorge…burned over 31,000 acres as of yesterday… http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-4860592/Photos-people-golfing-wildfires-rage-them.html

  • Gee, Your Hair Smells Horrific

    So he’ll just get a pardon from daddy, no?

    • JMP

      I think you mean from Mike Pence.

    • Permit-holder Ron

      In exchange for being dropped from the will.

  • laughingnome
  • Joe Beese

    Donald Trump Jr. falsely claimed to have written the book of love.

    • Lambsendbeds
      • Arolpin

        It’s a damn shame that no Second Wave ska band ever covered this, (and I did some serious searching to find anything at all similar) because ‘No, that was Two Tone’s “Book of Love”” just writes itself.

  • La forza del resistino

    Donnie Jr, Principal Mueller wants to see you in his office first thing tomorrow morning.

    • yyyaz

      Make it Monday afternoon so he can think about what he did wrong all weekend and fuck up all his “work” on Monday.

      • La forza del resistino

        Monday would give him time to hire M. Night Shyamalan to come up with a plausible story.

  • Amelia Resists and Persists

    So, will Trump Jr’s lawyer have the balls to try the pathological liar defense? Like, bring in those huge copies of his tweets that Senate Dems loved for a while and say he clearly can’t communicate without lying, so why hold him responsible?

    Because I would pay to watch that trial.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
    • SayItWithWookies

      Why does he open his mouth? It’s amazing.

  • JMP

    So are you saying Junior might have been fibbing when he claimed he invented email when he was 14?

    • Permit-holder Ron

      I’d assume he was lying if he said he’d ever BEEN 14.

  • Crystalclear12

    Is it safe to open thread this early?
    Are the fates tempted?

    • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

      the wonkette staff has learned to go with split shifts. Now is the time for them to take naps or begin the day drinking.

    • puredog

      Nah, it’s only Thursday. Tomorrow’s the danger zone.

      • Crystalclear12

        Their are no rules anymore, man.

        No rules!!!!!!!

      • Teecha

        I’m in Friday already here. And the weekend has begun.

    • JMP

      It’s not even 2 PM on the West Coast!

  • Picabo

    I will evacuate out of Savannah early Saturday morning.
    Have been warning my neighbors not to park in an area that was flooded by Matthew last year. Some cars were totaled. Don’t just look to the helpers, be one.

    • BosGrl

      Here’s hoping for the best possible outcome for everyone in Irma’s path. Be safe!

    • Beanz&Berryz

      “Don’t just look to the helpers, be one.” There’s a life philosophy hidden in a hurricane tip…

    • Lambsendbeds

      Good luck, and stay safe. I will keep you in my thoughts.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    On to more pleasant topics: football season is ON! Here’s hoping literally anyone else wins the Super Bowl this year…

    …no, I’m not still bitter that my team played zone defense against Tom Brady in the AFC Championship game last season. Why do you ask?

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/0a3a03bc2b7849bc8903a5b3ba6e03aedce735ca9565221fc3168b1a92d29837.jpg

    • Beanz&Berryz

      I only know about zone defense from the parenting seminar I went to long ago:
      1 kid and you can double-team them
      2 kids you’re man-on-man
      more kids – zone defense…

    • Johnny Appleseed

      Yep. Banner tonight!! Yawn.

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸

    Well, sure, this administration is super-racist. But let’s not forget another one of their important demographics, the misogynists https://twitter.com/TIME/status/905894699751190528.

    • Paul

      Right in the ear with a sharp splintery stick. Then do the other ear.

  • roberteye

    But yeah he’s bankin on Arpaio-style pardon… (till Eric Schneiderman taps him on the shoulder with a subpoena for Russian whatevs in NYC). But if daddy opts for tough love, no problem! Insofar as Don,jr. obviously applies more Brylcreem type slickem than Jerry Lewis ever did, he could rub his hands through his hair repeatedly, then on his body, and slither through the prison bars. Could work!

    • Beanz&Berryz

      pomade

      • grindstone

        Dapper Dan, or Fop?

        • Beanz&Berryz

          Nothing will do but Dippity Doo.

          Well, that’s not Men’s pomade, but once I started with nothing will do, I was trapped…

        • Beanz&Berryz

          But, to keep the very obscure movie reference going, only Dapper Dan will do…

          • grindstone

            Very obscure? Bite your tongue!

    • BearDeLaOursistance

      Well, you’ve done the unthinkable. You’ve made me dislike rich, acrobatic, greased-up men.

    • whitroth

      Daddy’s got to… otherwise, he might talk.

    • Teecha

      Eeew!

  • Johnnymoreno

    Wait…are you implying that this ISN’T about Russian orphans!!??!! Could this be true!!??!! If so HOW did this happen??!!

  • Crystalclear12

    A Trump lied! Say it isn’t so!

    • Johnny Appleseed

      The Devil you say!

      • Crystalclear12

        I’m shocked!

        • Johnny Appleseed

          But what about, “Appalled”?? Curious minds wanna know.

          • Crystalclear12

            Troubled?

  • Vincent Ricola

    Oh what a tangled web we weave when genetically predispositioned to deceive.

    • P’jama Pahnts

      When at first you don’t succeed, lie, lie again.

    • Beanz&Berryz

      That’s got literary potential…

  • elviouslyqueer

    Dammit, Evan. I just finished getting the smell of douche out of my computer.

    • Crystalclear12

      This time Scotch guard it.

      • Skeptical_thinker

        Single malt.

    • Lambsendbeds

      I hear vinegar and water is effective…

    • Permit-holder Ron

      Try End-bac.

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸

    Oh noooooooo! Now who will come up with the best Trump nicknames ever?
    https://twitter.com/J_D_Landis/status/905896328579997698

  • Mr. Blobfish

    Junior has a more human tint then the father.

  • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

    not much to review in today’s Donnie Twitter Digest, the usual – and this fucking shit:
    https://twitter.com/realdonaldtrump/status/905788459301908480

  • savethispatient

    So do we think Senator Coons has some specific knowledge about this, or is it just a hunch based upon seeing Donny Jr’s mouth moving?

    • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

      it was the “trump” name on the placard

    • Résistance Land Shark Ω

      Yes.

  • Lyly Sirivong

    Coons to Don Jr. : “Don’t pull bullshit on me, son.”

  • William
  • Permit-holder Ron

    So I’m sitting in the waiting room at Ambulatory Care, waiting to see the surgeon, and they happened to have the CBC on. It would appear that the Conservative Party is having some sort of caucus in Winnipeg this weekend, and the asshole running the party, one ‎Andrew Scheer, was giving an opening address. And darn if it didn’t sound EXACTLY like every speech at the Republican convention last summer. Almost word for word. Including the bit about us being ‘overwhelmed’ by scary brown people. I had to check the money in my wallet to make sure I was still in Canada.

    • BearDeLaOursistance

      Sounds like the loonies aren’t just in the coin pouch anymore!

    • Crystalclear12

      That’s what you get for not building that wall!

      • Permit-holder Ron

        I am hanging my head in shame.

    • AJ Milne

      This… really _isn’t_ so new to north of the border. Been tried before. With varying success.

      Interested now to see who they’ve got doing a) general strategy, b) social media/black ops.

      • Permit-holder Ron

        I know, but I think this is the first time I’ve ever heard the Canadian right being open and proud of it. It wasn’t so long ago that something like this would have been political suicide.

        • Let’s hope it still is.

        • AJ Milne

          Dunno. Harper’s ‘Barbaric Cultural Practices’ thing, was, I thought, pretty blatant.

          (… in related: I figure haggis is pretty barbaric, as cultural practices go.)

          • Permit-holder Ron

            Mmm, true. I’d actually forgotten about that. Thin edge of the wedge.

    • SnarkON

      The way you can tell is, is your healthcare universal?

      • Permit-holder Ron

        It only cost me some gas and $4 for parking, so yes.

    • Yep, that’s our Andy. Can’t decide if it’s a good thing or a bad thing that he comes across as such a fucking nonentity. He’s a dangerous moron just like the rest of that breed.

    • whitroth

      Best of luck, and recover quickly.

      • Permit-holder Ron

        TY. Next step is MORE tests. Like I haven’t had enough radiation pumped into me to light a small sun.

        • whitroth

          Get on your doctors. I had a “short, brief” course of radiation therapy 16 years ago, and I mentioned to the techs, and to my doctors, that, i mean, *everyone* knows that radiation gives you superpowers and a Spandex ™ suit (I’ll take the one with the cape, please0. They told me that would come with the bills; bills came, bills got paid, no superpowers, no Spandex suit. I’m still very annoyed….

    • TundraGrifter

      Did his wife tell a heart-warming story about growing up on the South Side of Chicago, her father working for the Water District?

    • AJ Milne

      (Oh, related, umm, yeah, ambulatory care wha? No political junkie, _you’re_ the political junkie, but hoping anyway you’re just bringing the saw in, because you punched it out in a moment of pique or something?)

      • Permit-holder Ron

        Oh, still trying to get a sports injury from 1979 fixed so it stays fixed. ‘Ambulatory care’ is just where you go when you’re not staying over.

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸
    • yyyaz

      I just felt an odd chill, like some soulless creature’s blood pressure maxing out as it foams at the mouth and tries to scream…wait I can see it trying to form words….”hhheeesseeffffaaarrddd.” Hmmm, can’t quite make it out.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      I just felt a great disturbance in the Force.

      • Opiwan

        Gas. It’ll pass…

  • I’m pretty good at reading faces and Don Joonyer’s has crooked written all over it.

  • Nicola Andrews

    I’m sorry the country has just had a once in a 1000 year hurricane and is facing another once in 500 year hurricane. There may also be some other stuff happening too, but not wet. Shouldn’t all this Russian stuff be dropped in the face of these disasters? Shouldn’t we be more concerned about making sure Mar a Lago is safe and/or repaired as rapidly as possible so that Trump will be able to have a little working respite 3 days a week?

    • SnarkON

      Next time don’t forget to use the irony font.

    • whitroth

      But only if he replaces all those ruined Spanish tiles with good American tiles (manufactured in China, or can he get a better price for ones made in Central America)?

  • Serai 1

    Keith would like to bring up a delicate subject.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1P-xJmU5vZo

    • Paul

      Amen. Preach it brother.

  • janecita

    OT, I hate that fucking, ugly, evil, rapist apologist, cunt, Betsey DeVos!!!!! I swear, I need a huge drink, I can’t deal with this shit today!
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/45270ba8db6c181bdda982b4201b7854178d99bb33af47174e83b1b2977f503b.gif

  • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

    Harvey and the res ponse has indeed been good for trump, which he needed following charlottesville.

    538 has weight average up to 38.3

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/1ac19ab02424b8111f55a1911c75aa67ff1b12e74d287a7488f22a34978b4b24.png

    • Permit-holder Ron

      So, he got a bump from doing nothing at all? Dude, WTF is WRONG with your country?

      • Resistance Fighter Astraea

        Where to start…

      • Beanz&Berryz

        Pity support: Poor idiot fuck doesn’t know where to put stuff in a truck…

      • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

        a point of almost 1.5% or so? He was at 36.9 and now he’s at 38.3.

      • janecita

        All the stupid, low information voters living here.

      • Nockular cavity

        Um, statistical noise?

        • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

          i’m no statistic nerd – but the down and then up from Cville to today is pretty clear.

          Sure, it’s a minor bump in the long run, but the correlation looks pretty strong.

      • Thiazin Red

        Voters have the memories of goldfish, so of course going a couple days without doing something as catastrophically moronic as praising nazis gets him a bump.

  • P’jama Pahnts

    Since DT Jr. will probably pardoned for all the things, he should be forced to walk, naked before the eyes of gods and men, from the Great Sept of Baelor to the Red Keep,

    Sorry, been powering through the GoT catalog (again).

    • janecita
    • Resistance Fighter Astraea

      I’m about to start my rewatch of season 3. Looking forward to being able to skip all the Ramsay scenes this time.

      • P’jama Pahnts

        Yeah I FF those too. Too…too…eh, you get it

    • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

      Not just regular naked. Complete body-hair-shaved naked. That’s the way they roll in the Seven Kingdoms.

      • Dr. Jo

        Not shaved–waxed!

        • Beanz&Berryz

          Slow-pull waxed…

    • Vincent Ricola

      My beloved elderly mother and 2 aunts have been mainlining GOT for the past 2 weeks. They went from season 1 to season 6 and then started over again to “figure it all out so we don’t have to call you with our questions anymore.”

      Spoiler alert: they haven’t figured anything out and are working on the theory that the actress in Braavos is somehow Jon Snow’s mom.

      And the questions that they call me with are magically hilarious.

      • P’jama Pahnts

        How fun, three old sisters gettin’ into it.

        • Vincent Ricola

          They are sooooo into it. My mom somehow managed to send me 15 text messages on the first day that all said “I love imp”

      • janecita

        That sounds like my mom watching “Outlander.”

        • P’jama Pahnts

          OMG I love Outlander! I kinda got lost during the second season but season 1 is some of the BEST TV EVAR.

          • Resistance Fighter Astraea

            I’m not a huge fan, but I’m pretty excited about seeing the castle they used as Castle Leoch when I go to Scotland in a couple weeks.

          • Paul

            Like gum in school, if you bring back single malt you have to bring enough for ALL OF US. Rules are rules.

          • P’jama Pahnts

            …unless someone already said “3, 2, 1, no one else can come”

          • Resistance Fighter Astraea

            I can’t take you all but I can share photos and make up a torrid romance with a sexy redheaded Scottish woman.

          • Paul

            I didn’t want to go, I was just trying to cadge a free bottle of fine whiskey.

            But now I think I do. :)

          • janecita

            I know what you mean, I’m going to binge watch season 2 on Saturday, before season 3 starts on Sunday. Maybe this time I will understand what’s going on.

          • P’jama Pahnts

            Hmmm…good idea

        • Bitter Scribe

          Is that the one where they’re all immortal unless you chop off their heads?

          Yes, I’m probably about your mom’s age. Why do you ask?

          • P’jama Pahnts

            LOL no. Just in case that was a serious question, you’re thinking of “Highlander”. Outlander is a Showtime show from a book series. I hear the books were outstanding.

          • Bitter Scribe

            OK thanks. Actually now I do remember reading a review of this. I have Showtime (one of my few remaining indulgences) so maybe I’ll give it a try.

          • janecita
      • Zippy W Pinhead
    • elviouslyqueer

      Oh no no. One last stop at the Great Sept right before that whole Wildfire thing. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/2505ec2a133dec16f762ede7074b7f4815fcbc1f7e74b4ed6af5b77f9a26f87f.jpg

  • Crystalclear12

    Do you think Coons staff waited until he got back to release the snark or was it preplanned?

    Yeah, I thought preplanned too.

  • Résistance Land Shark Ω
  • weejee

    I understand that Qusay and Uday tRump are looking to head out soonly to hunt them some Dalai LLama.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/d369e5fff6a6b82510514421b7f41f03d7bf00ed4ab93f8914e50097b4d46b1e.jpg

  • William
  • WeaselPoo

    The sun was in my eyes! It was dark! I left them in my other pants! The dog ate it I hink you want those people over there wprking for the Popeye Organization.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      No, I didn’t. Honest… I ran out of gas. I… I had a flat tire. I didn’t have enough money for cab fare. My tux didn’t come back from the cleaners. An old friend came in from out of town. Someone stole my car. There was an earthquake. A terrible flood. Locusts! IT WASN’T MY FAULT, I SWEAR TO GOD!

      • Toomush_Inferesistance

        Dad made me do it!…..Wait, I mean…..!

  • ariel_gee_398
    • Zippy W Pinhead

      Disrespect the American flag?

      Fuck those guys! Seriously who the hell do they think they are?

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Heads-up for you fans of comedy:

    https://twitter.com/LAist/status/905899096061480960

  • SayItWithWookies

    The statute seems to say that congressmen can lie to each other. So all Assmouth needs to do is get Junior — like Caligula’s horse — appointed to the Senate, and everything will be fine.

  • jesterpunk

    So Rush is now claiming that because people called him A Idiot for saying hurricanes where fake that proves he is right. Also Alex Jones has joined in with the crazy too.

    https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/powerpost/paloma/the-energy-202/2017/09/07/the-energy-202-why-climate-change-deniers-mistrust-hurricane-forecasts-too/59b032be30fb04264c2a1d13/?utm_term=.6103cf3d86f7

    This week, one of the most popular radio hosts in the country issued a dire warning about Hurricane Irma, a Category 5 storm barreling its way through Puerto Rico and the Virgin Islands. Though it could diverge from its predicted path, modeling from meteorologists says the storm will most likely crash into South Florida over the weekend.

    The ominous warning from conservative fire starter Rush Limbaugh was this: Don’t trust those meteorologists.

    On his daily syndicated radio show Tuesday, Limbaugh claimed that forecasters and the media alike were overhyping the hurricane in a bid to juice retail sales at stores in South Florida.

    “The reason that I am leery of forecasts this far out, folks,” Limbaugh said, “is because I see how the system works.”

    Limbaugh went on to explain that this is a “symbiotic relationship.”

    “The media benefits with the panic with increased eyeballs, and the retailers benefit from the panic with increased sales,” he said, “and the TV companies benefit because they’re getting advertising dollars from the businesses that are seeing all this attention from customers.”

    The Washington Post’s Callum Borchers put Limbaugh’s comments in Trump-era terms: “Limbaugh didn’t say the magic words, but on Tuesday he basically accused the media of creating fake news about Hurricane Irma.”

    Weather communicators, including celebrity weatherman Al Roker, piled on to point out that Limbaugh’s comments were dangerous if heeded by his listeners — if, that is, some of them ignored evacuation orders from authorities they see as corrupted by the meteorology-industrial complex.

    https://twitter.com/alroker/status/905446873061879808

    But Limbaugh was undeterred. On Wednesday’s show, he denied being a “hurricane denier,” and lambasted those who made the accusation, including The Post.

    For Limbaugh, the criticism was proof that “people are using this storm to advance the climate change agenda.” He placed those who accept the scientific consensus that humans are warming the planet alongside FiveThirtyEight’s Nate Silver and other presidential election oddsmakers as examples of “the left … gone insane.”

    This is not a lone conspiratorial theory about this storm. On his own show, Alex Jones of Infowars began a segment this week by claiming, “I’m not saying Irma is geoengineered.”

    But he went on to suggest it may have been.

    After noting that a science-fiction film about weather control called “Geostorm” is premiering in October, Jones said he thought the timing of the film was suspect.

    “Isn’t that just perfect timing?” Jones said. “Like all these race war films they’ve been putting out. This is starting to get suspicious.”

    What’s going on? Social science offers an explanation as to why those who reject the consensus view among climate scientists may also tend to mistrust the motives of hurricane forecasters.

    A 2013 survey found those who reject climate change science also have a tendency to endorse conspiracy theories, including ideas like that the moon landing was filmed in a Hollywood studio or that the U.S. government staged the Sept. 11 terrorist attacks.

    “People who don’t accept the consensus behind climate change tend to have a cluster of conspiracy views,” said John Cook, a research assistant professor at the Center for Climate Change Communication at George Mason University and co-author of a follow-up study.

    Indeed, such people sometimes bring conspiratorial thinking to their assessment of climate change policy. Jones, for example, has claimed in previous shows that the goal of the 2015 Paris climate talks was to bring about “global taxes” and “global government,” neither of which were the outcome of the international agreement that followed.

    While outlandish in their details, Cook said, the arguments from Limbaugh and Jones about Hurricane Irma demonstrate classic traits of conspiratorial thinking, such as a belief in a nefarious cabal and “drawing lines between random facts.”

    Neither Limbaugh nor Jones present any evidence that their theories are true — that, respectively, meteorologists and retailers, or geoengineers and filmmakers, are conspiring to somehow make a buck. What they do present are worldviews that imagine this unprecedented storm as impossible without the help of some behind-the-scenes ne’er-do-wells.

    If you reject a scientific consensus, Cook said, “you really have no recourse other than to believe that they’re all in a conspiracy.”

    • SnarkON

      Survival of the fittest, motherfuckers.

      • jesterpunk

        He studio is in Florida…

        • SnarkON

          Huh. That’s a shame.

          • Teecha

            I’m not entirely convinced that you are being completely sincere.

      • NotDarkYet

        I wonder how long he can float…

    • TundraGrifter

      “He placed those who accept the scientific consensus that humans are warming the planet alongside FiveThirtyEight’s Nate Silver and other presidential election oddsmakers…”

      Odd, since Mr. Silver was correct.

      • Nate Silver uses math, which means he’s a witch (according to turdbrained gasbags like Lush Rimjob).

        • Zippy W Pinhead

          Nate does weigh the same as a duck so…

          CHECKMATE FUCKERS!!!

        • TundraGrifter

          Perhaps he’s a Muslin and he knows Al Gebra.

    • William

      Tin foil Jones and the drug soaked draft dodger are telling their listeners to not worry about it. I don’t see the problem https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/a0f23ce807a14258d8d3eb129f500cc2d77a45c4966e1ea6079c87ba959a9a49.jpg

      • jesterpunk

        Well Trump does take advice from Alex Jones.

    • NotDarkYet

      The media benefits with the panic with increased eyeballs…

      The preposition he’s looking for is “from” — as in: benefits FROM the panic …

      Unfortunately, the rest of that screed can’t fixed, other than by “select all/delete”!

    • WIDTAP

      “I’m not saying Irma is geoengineered.”
      Fuck you, Weyland Corporation.

    • TJ Barke

      Why do they hate capitalism? Are they marxists?

    • Persistent Demme

      Well, I guess this is one way to “sort ’em out!”

      (I hope there is a mighty backlash and some ruined careers.)

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      and Limbaugh benefits from frightening dullards with voluminous bullshit, but that’s different because reasons…

      • jesterpunk

        Because Al Gore.

    • miss_grundy

      Hmmm, will Fatso stay in his house as Irma invades Florida???? I hope he does. He and his house deserve to go flying…without benefit of votes.

      • jesterpunk

        Wizard of Oz Libelz. Although if his house where to land on Trump…

    • Crank Tango

      You had me at “Do not listen to @rushlimpballs,” Al.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    JFC…stay safe, Florida Wonkers!

    https://twitter.com/CNN/status/905894524387512321

  • hudson

    to be explicit, the entire clan is only all about smartassery and pushing the envelope of how-much-can-we-get-away-with. there is no other there there. some deep thought, public good concern, or drive if you are looking for, you will be disappointed. nothing else to it.

    • Edith Prickly

      to be explicit, the entire clan is only all about smartassery

      FTFY. The word “smart” never applies to a Trump.

  • Kiri the Unicorn
    • Ωbjectifier

      Low Class Twits of the Year

    • Villago Delenda Est

      I think Gary Busey got extra busy with Ivana.

    • NotDarkYet

      That’s a lot of gum showing … dental surgery can fix that in most cases. I wonder if he had that done. Or maybe he’s not smiling like that any more.

      • Pat_Pending

        Was there not enough money left over after Ivanka’s work to help these schlubs? Or did they think they were already pretty? Or did it not matter, cuz money = blowjobs?

        • NotDarkYet

          Speaking only for myself in re/ the last question: nope. However much it is, it’s not enough :)

    • SisterArtemis

      Nailed it. But the pythons are cuter about it.

    • elviouslyqueer

      That is literally the movie poster for “Dumb and Dumber III: Even More Stupid Shit from Stupid Shits.”

    • YoBunnyBunny

      How are they so young with so much double-chin turkey neck??? They’re at the granny-stage already.

    • Pat_Pending

      Good lord. It’s like they went to Eton.

    • Persistent Demme

      Hilarious!!!

    • aureolaborealis

      They don’t look that much better in the unaltered photo:

      http://static.snopes.com/app/uploads/2017/07/spot-the-difference.jpg

      • mailman27

        I was a pretty stupid looking kid (and am still largely the same). But that fucken Eric… He’s lucky he’s rich.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Um…they *do* know that neither Gingrinch nor Frothy Mix is currently in Congress, right? Well, let’s not tell them:

    https://twitter.com/AdamsFlaFan/status/905898955044769793

    • jesterpunk

      The house rules just say the majority have to agree on who is speaker. There isnt anything saying they need to be in congress.

      • WIDTAP

        Which ought to piss off the GOP House senior members to no end.

        • jesterpunk

          Remember the only reason Ryan is speaker, no one else wanted to kill their career by becoming speaker.

          • WIDTAP

            Fair point.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      You don’t need to be a member of Congress to be Speaker of the House, but it helps.

      • NotDarkYet

        TIL! Seriously, I did not know that!

      • Thiazin Red

        Has that ever been the case?

        • Latverian Diplomat

          No. But norms are falling all over, so why not?

      • shivaskeeper

        This is correct. The Speaker can be literally anyone as long as they get the votes.

  • La forza del resistino

    Hey Florida people, time to get outta town. Visit Colorado where we’ll keep you high (ya know) and dry. Just check your guns and reptiles at the door.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Also, bring your facemasks. It’s smoky.

    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      I heard from the mother of someone in Miami, that Miami is out of gas to get out of town. Is that true?…

      • La forza del resistino

        yes. and airfare tickets somehow moved into the $1k neighborhood.

      • II Gosala

        Very likely. Gas has been in short supply since yesterday.

      • I believe it. There’s no gas here in Daytona where I am, and that’s a ways from Miami, where things are going to be even worse.

  • Moebym of the Returners

    Today was a bad, bad day.

    First, the closing date just got postponed a THIRD time. (Just to be clear, I’m the listing agent, not the seller or buyer.)

    Second, something seemed to go seriously wrong with my computer, which had been working just fine. It would not boot, and kept asking for me to insert a boot device. (This was since fixed, thankfully, but I still have no idea what happened that changed the boot order.)

    Second, I realized that all of my saved games and downloads for Sims 3, along with the backups, got deleted by accident at some point. Years’ worth of gameplay, screenshots, saved lots, saved Sims, saved worlds, is gone. My last hopes are to try to recover what I can – even though I don’t even know when this happened – and to find an old external drive where I may have saved another backup.

    • SnarkON

      You have literally just defined Rich People Problems.

      • I have a meltdown when the string connecting my two Dixie cups breaks.

      • P’jama Pahnts

        Hey, I live in South Carolina, and I swear to Cow if my cucumbers get knocked down by this hurricane I’m going hard after that sweet, sweet FEMA ca$h.

      • Moebym of the Returners

        Just so you know, I’m not the one buying or selling this home. I’m just a newbie real estate agent trying to get a deal to close. But yes, I suppose you’re right – I shouldn’t be complaining about these things.

      • Resistance Fighter Astraea

        Sims 3 isn’t even the latest Sims game!

      • bbayliss

        OK last week our cat was in the emergency vet hospital for three days, plumbing leak flooded my basement, insurance company informed me the car my daughter was driving was not covered when she had a fender-bender, got a notice that medicare will not cover the $1500 “pathology examination of tissue” that was positive, (but what’s a little cancer?) and I was sad and lonely because my wife was off having fun at burning man.

        Didja hear me bitch?… no.
        What’s Simms?

    • Bitter Scribe

      If it makes you feel any better, my entire Mac blew up and I had to buy a whole new system, which is a fun thing to do when you’ve been unemployed all year.

      • mailman27

        At least you weren’t married to it. :(

    • TundraGrifter

      Closing on a house? I’ve worked on any number of multi-million dollar deals, but none were as stressful as financing and refinancing our own homes.

      Good luck! I hope you get it done.

      Walking the dogs a few weeks ago I met a nice family in front of a home with “SOLD” on the For Sale sign and we chatted for a minute. They said they were almost in. I walked by today and the “SOLD” was gone. Sad.

      • Moebym of the Returners

        I’m not buying or selling; I’m an agent representing the seller. We’re several weeks past the original date, and everyone’s frustrated.

        • Rebel Scum with permit

          Lenders seem to sit around and think of reasons not to close sales. Issues that were never brought up at loan application suddenly become huge problems when some reviewer in a remote location gets ahold of them.

        • TundraGrifter

          The Dreaded Domino Effect. Good luck!

    • C4TWOMAN

      Not anywhere near as bad, but I had a drive go all “write protected” on me for random reasons. I’m not panicking because the important stuff has been/can be backed up and we have a plan(copy to ANOTHER archive, then reformat), but it is annoying as fuck.

      Good luck recovering.

      EDIT: I meant write protected, not write only.

    • Crystalclear12

      I feel your Sims pain.
      Good luck.

    • Painter of Goats

      Sorry about your day. And I would be be bummed about the loss of my Sims 3 stuff, too.

    • NotDarkYet

      I don’t know to what degree you have already checked into this, but I’ve had good experience with Recuva.

  • Baconzgood

    Well his dad taught him about how you should throw any under the bus to avoid responsibly.

    • weejee

      Helping others to advance their careers as speedbumps.

  • Short week for me, I’m off tomorrow. I’m driving to Texas for the Dallas Pen Show, aka Comic Con for people who collect fountain pens. (So, even nerdier than Comic Con.) Feels weird to have the entire world watching a Cat 5 barrel towards the US mainland and not worry that it’s going to cover south Louisiana in storm surge. Stay safe and GTFO of Florida, everyone.

    • grindstone

      Still watching. Tracks have all gone to the east but they’re starting to trend a tad back to the west, which is concerning. Leaving now would be horrendous, however, as the roads are full and gas stations empty. I need to let the folks on the east coast bug out and not add to the general congestion while I watch for half a day or so, then see where we’re at.

  • Lyly Sirivong
    • Thiazin Red

      Adults who call their parents mommy or daddy are gross and wrong. Parents who allow their adult kids to do so are also gross and wrong.

      • janecita

        Can I still call my mom “mami?”

        • Villago Delenda Est

          If it’s a cultural thing for Cubans, sure!

          • janecita

            It’s all “mami,” and “papi” there.

        • John Thorstensen

          It depends. Would you walk a million miles for one of her smiles?

          • janecita

            Of course, she is the best:-)

      • Villago Delenda Est

        My wingnut sister started calling my Mom “mama” about three years ago. She never called her that before in her adult lifetime.

      • B Briley

        Or southern, because we get to.

    • Opiwan

      So in the middle of natural disasters taking place in two of the most populated states in the Union in consecutive weeks, the President chooses to spend his time in… North Dakota. I guess Wyoming and Idaho were booked?

    • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

      So many issues.

    • TJ Barke

      Washington is the goverment, theoretically enacting the will of the country at large, through which we decide how our society operates, so yes, Washington has a right to shut down polluting energy production.

    • LucindathePook

      So did Francis Urquhart

    • miss_grundy

      Ewwww. Just ewwww.

  • IdiokraticCulturalMarxist

    Oh great, now we have to worry about the AI nanobots that will eat our brains: http://www.rightwingwatch.org/post/alex-jones-computers-are-using-the-race-narrative-and-the-islamists-to-attack-humans

    • Edith Prickly

      Nanobots would be an improvement over the prion-diseased raccoons currently inhabiting Jones’ and Mike Cernovich’s craniums…

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        Coincidentally, prion-diseased raccoons inhabiting Jones’ and Mike Cernovich’s craniums is the plot for the third installment of Guardians of the Galaxy

        • TJ Barke

          Rocket’s gonna have to be euthanized…

    • Thiazin Red

      If I were a super intelligent computer manipulating the human race, maybe I would tell someone like Alex Jones just for fun. Same if I were an alien. I’d stop by his house, tell him my entire plan and then just laugh at his attempts to tell other people.

      • IdiokraticCulturalMarxist

        By Jove, that makes complete sense. Finally, all of the pieces of the puzzle are coming together!

  • Thiazin Red

    A thing that bugs me about media in general is when ambition gets conflated with evil. Look at Harry Potter, the defining feature of Evil House is ambition. Evil and ambition are literally synonyms in that world.

    And of course it goes double for female characters. How many times in movies do we see a woman who cares about her career punished for it? She must either learn that she should drop all that for a man and babies, or she is the villain who will be dumped for a more motherly good woman.

    • Latverian Diplomat

      I thought the defining attribute of Slytherin was snobbery.

      The sorting hat tells Harry he could be “great” in Slytherin, (why it says that is perhaps an open question?) but I don’t think that’s the reason most Slytherins wind up there. Crabbe and Goyle seem to be natural followers, for example.

      • E K Wallace

        I saw a theory I like that says everyone who ended up in Gryffindor was a fit for another house, too (Hermione being a “natural” Ravenclaw, for example), but asked one way or another to be put in Gryffindor, like Harry did, because anyone can choose to be brave. The Sorting Hat does take the kid’s preference into consideration anyway, so maybe Crabbe and Goyle both asked for Slytherin and it figured it might as well keep the other houses from having to deal with them.

        • Latverian Diplomat

          That’s interesting. Yes, and Neville and Ron both seem like natural Hufflepuffs to me (and choose to be brave).

    • Latverian Diplomat

      Sorry for the second reply, but Working Girl and Other People’s Money both have fairly positive portrayals of business people in general and businesswomen in particular.

  • Skwerl the Nazi Puncher
    • Raan

      I’ve never seen a better use of tearaway pants.

    • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

      I. Will. Obey.

  • Wolf Tracker

    From what I have read it would be very difficult for Trump to pardon Don Jr. if he is a co-conspirator in a crime and would be challenged.

    Sounds like Donny boy got himself in big trouble in testimony and I am sure Mueller has his people also sitting in on those and recording everything said.

    I expect Jr. will now be called to testify to the grand jury and that will probably ramp up daddy to stop being nice (he made it 24 hours) and start threatening a war with someone somewhere.

    • shivaskeeper

      Presidential pardon powers for federal offenses are unlimited. So, no, technically it would not be hard to grant either a specific, or blanket pardon. Just unethical as hell.

      Granted the pardon is unlimited because it has never been legally challenged before. It has never been challenged because it has not been abused.

      I would think the Arpaio pardon is going to be the first to get challenged seriously. Perhaps when this is all said and done, there will legal limits put on the pardon.

      • Wolf Tracker

        A pardon can not be used to avoid impeachment as stated in that article and that would include pardoning a co-conspirator in an attempt to cover up crimes that would lead to impeachment.

        I am sure it would be challenged if it is used to avoid impeachment for a crime Trump committed.

        • shivaskeeper

          Impeachment starts in the House. Until the House is willing to impeach, there is no worry there. Pardoning oneself to avoid impeachment has never been tried.

          Also, the rules for impeachment state for high crimes and misdemeanors. There is no specific crime mentioned, including pardoning a potential co-conspirator. It is literally all up to House to decide what is an impeachable offense.

          • Wolf Tracker

            Yes it starts in the house and impeachment is not a court process it is a political process however once impeached or if he resigns Trump and his traitors can all be charged with Fed or state charges.

            This is a good article on why Trump can’t use pardons to protect himself.

            10 legal experts on why Trump can’t pardon his way out of the Russia investigation

            https://www.vox.com/2017/8/29/16211784/donald-trump-pardon-constitution-michael-flynn-manafort

          • shivaskeeper

            The pattern is established already. If he resigns he will be pardoned by whoever is next in line. Ford/Nixon style.

            I never said he could pardon himself. But he certainly can pardon any co-conspirators until he no longer has the power to do so.

          • Wolf Tracker

            Possibly. Pence may not be the next inline as he has also lied bout Flynn and about his knowledge of Trump firing Comey and if Ryan take that position he might not want to Pardon Trump because it would end his political career and he has no loyalty to Trump.

            He could pardon them but it would be challenged because it is interference in impeachment. That is the point I was making and would actually be grounds for impeachment and I think they would lose in SCOTUS because the constitution is clear that you can’t use pardons to avoid impeachment.

          • shivaskeeper

            I think the misunderstanding here is that nothing is grounds for impeachment unless and until the House drafts Articles of Impeachment, and then votes on them and moves forward with it. It took years for the House to start impeachment on Nixon. If he is impeached he loses the power of the pardon for anything involving whatever he is being over as far as I am aware.

            FFS, the one impeachment in my lifeline was over a blowjob.

            Whoever is next in line gas a dead career anyway. As it currently sits it will be an unelected GOPer sitting in the seat while the Senate tries the elected GOPer. There will be no reelection for them.

      • Marr

        I don’t think Arpaio pardon will be seriously challenged. In reality be he is a non-player and no longer a direct threat. At best he is a distraction from whatever else is going on and scrap to throw to his more rabid fan base.

        I personally believe his pardon and freedom, and more than likely future bigotted word vomit because he feels vindicated will hurt Trump more than his conviction would have.

        • shivaskeeper

          His pardon will be challenged because it very much takes away the judicial branch’s method of enforcing it’s rulings. If there is no one penalty for ignoring a court injunction, especially in civil rights cases, the courts cannot enforce their rulings.

          It will be challenged not because Arpaio is a major player but because it very literally undermines the rule of law. It will be challenged because it takes away power from a co-equal branch and gives it to the Executive.

    • Marr

      Irma can’t come fast enough for Trump. A true conspiracy theorist would know by looking at the timing of the two hurricanes following on the heels of Irma and wonder what needs to be distracted from on those days. Because it is obvious that NOAA’s actual job is to use those “probes” to start and steer hurricanes at the behest of the government.

      As has been stated Irma was early for hurricane season but perfectly timed for distraction, and for budget negotiations.

      • Wolf Tracker

        I have a feeling those are two storms are just a lead up act to the storm Mueller is going to wreak on Trump and his empire.

  • Msgr_MΩment

    WeenerStump McPantyDribbles Junior, firstborn son of the American president, has concluded his testimony for the Senate Judiciary Committee.

    Have you seen his long form birf sertifikett?

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    I’m surprised he didn’t let the truth slip and say “More than I pay my low-level staffers:”

    https://twitter.com/nicholaskitchel/status/905783245513613312

    • Raan

      That would be embarrassing for him if his base didn’t see people making minimum wage as non-go-getters who lack the ambition to just get a better job.

    • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

      I guess not knowing is marginally better than “uhhhh… I know this one! Is it ‘too high?’ I’m going with too high.”

  • weejee

    Oh fiddle. Equifax hacked, with an estimated 143M US consumers’ personal data out-the-door.

    • jowgajen

      It’s almost like keeping all of this information in one giant huge juicy database is a bad idea.

      • C4TWOMAN

        I have always been charry of the “eggs in one basket” strategy–Google can fuck off with it’s “One Account to Rule them All” plan…

        And the Internet of Things is just DUMB.

      • bupkus231

        THREE huge juicy databases – there’s Experian and TransUnion, too.

        How long before these other two are hacked?

    • This is why I don’t consume.

    • BreakingDeadMen

      Can only help my credit rating.

    • WIDTAP

      Doesn’t hurt to check if you are impacted and see what Equifax’s offer is:

      http://www.equifaxsecurity2017.com

      • Resistance Fighter Astraea

        To enroll for identity protection from the hackers like the ones who stole your social security number from Equifax, you will have to provide Equifax with your social security number.

        • Manders

          I mean . . . they already got it.

          • Resistance Fighter Astraea

            Sorry, I meant hackers like the ones who stole SS numbers, forgot to delete “your”. It sounds like the customer SS numbers are in a different database than the ones they have for credit history.

      • Manders

        Ah! So I see they discovered this little problem over a month ago. I’m sure that’s not a issue.

        I think I will be writing my Senator today.

        • WIDTAP

          It appears that Equifax’s offer includes Terms of Service that waive your right to sue Equifax.

          When you get in touch with your Senator, perhaps you might want to mention this practice of hiding the rights waiver in the Terms of Service which no one reads.

    • Steve Cole

      And once again, reform will not occur.

  • PixieThis

    The curtain rises on a Manhattan skyline….several people enter the room.

    Ryan (hands clenching and unclenching, whispering to himself): “Speaker of the House, you’ve got this buddy. Speaker of the House” *Note: have Ryan do traditional theater facial warm ups while saying these lines.

    Trump enters with entourage. “Did you see me? Did you see ME? The crowd was huge. (Licks lollipop)

    Eric: “I love the fun house, daddy”

    Ryan (silently prays to himself) “Yes, it was amazing. Now it’s time to get to work” Note: Ryan’s winking facial tick kicks in.

    Don, Jr. (blushes because he thinks Ryan is winking at him) “uh, heh” Note: should find actor with derp-face

    Trump caresses Ivanka’s cheek: “Ok, sweetie-bear. It’s time to rub lotion on your skin while the big boys talk”

    Ivanka whines: “But daddy! I want to go” Pouts, then flounces off stage.

    Curtain falls – Nighttime in America….

    • BreakingDeadMen

      Trump, of course, is Alec Baldwin, Ryan is the brunette Wilson brother,
      Uday and Qusay are the Lesser Baldwins. Ivanka is…a Lesser Baldwin in drag.

  • Rick Hill

    So, a plot underfoot. To replace Ryan with either Gingrich or Santorum as speaker.
    Excuse me while I try to decide whether to laugh hysterically or just shake my head and roll my eyes.
    http://www.rawstory.com/2017/09/conservative-republicans-plotting-to-oust-paul-ryan-and-elect-gingrich-or-santorum-as-new-house-speaker/

    • Resistance Fighter Callyson
      • weejee

        A well-lubed fecal Newt.

    • La forza del resistino

      why don’t they just wheel in Bob Dole as a compromise candidate.

      • Fifth-and-a-Half Element
      • bupkus231

        Hell – they might well go full fascist and elect Francisco Franco ( He’s still dead, btw )….

      • Msgr_MΩment

        Nixon’s head?

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      Bring back either the guy who got voted out of his seat or the one that got laughed out. Great plan. Was Denny Hastert too busy?

    • BreakingDeadMen

      Please let this be true. OMG.

      • Persistent Tennessee Rain

        So they’ll be president when trump and pence go up in flames? Oh em gee

        • BreakingDeadMen

          So they can complete the poisoning of the GOP brand for 2018. But, under your scenario, Gingrich is preferable because he was a surrogate and possibly also implicated.

      • 🛶🗣️ Mr Canoehead 🛶🗣️

        That’s what we said about Trump during the GOP nominations.

        • BreakingDeadMen

          Trump has charisma.

    • Wolf Tracker

      Too funny! They don’t have enough votes to oust Ryan and that will push Ryan and the mods to work with Dems.

      I hope the Tea Party Kochus starts an uncivil war with the GOP right in the middle of the 2018 elections.

      Dems will sit back and eat popcorn and count new seats.

      That they are even considering Newt and Santorum shows how crazy these people are.

    • Rebel Scum with permit

      We’ve reached Derp Singularity.

      • OutOfOrbit

        and it looks familiar

    • miss_grundy

      What would be the difference? All three are Ayn Rand asshats.

    • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

      From the article:

      “They’ve also been in contact with former chief White House strategist Steve Bannon to strategize ways to “mount a credible threat” against the current House Speaker.”

      Credible what?? The only credible thing NEWT GINGRICH or RICK SANTORUM are: credible joke punchlines.

      Man, Bannon needs to leave that thing alone, it’s going to fall off.

      • bupkus231

        It’s been clear for a long time that Steve Bannon does not know what the word “credible” means….

    • Manders

      Step 1) Actually get them elected to Congress (again, in some cases).

      • bupkus231

        Nah – the Speaker of the House does not have to be a member of the House ( just like a Supreme Court Justice doesn’t have to have a background in law ).

        The fact the the Freedumb Caucus is floating these names just demonstrates how behind the times and how intellectually bankrupt they really are.

    • Persistent Tennessee Rain

      these assholes are trying to handpick the next president

    • Cock Blockula

      Are either of these fine gentlemen wankers even holding office in the House right now? Don’t you have to be an elected office holder to be speaker or can just any erudite citizen hoofwanking bunglecunt be appointed without being elected?

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
    • It’s a duck?

      • weejee

        No, a canard.

        • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

          Turducken?

          • Rebel Scum with permit

            A collusion turducken, with a Don Jr. inside a Flynn inside a Manafort.

          • OutOfOrbit

            *you here vigerous headscratching hear*

          • Rags

            Up 4-5’s ass

          • Creepoman

            A douchespytraitorfucken?

      • Latverian Diplomat

        “Why a duck?”
        — Chico Marx

        • Msgr_MΩment

          Gee, o duck!

      • NotDarkYet

        It’s orphans!

        • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

          The Magnitsky Duck Sanctions! Kind of like Peking Duck only with vodka.

      • Thiazin Red

        Really small pebbles?

    • Thiazin Red

      We all saw the email chain that was literally you agreeing to collude.

      As for the second part of the statement, is he claiming to not know Flynn and Manafort now?

    • miss_grundy

      It’s a duck??????/s

  • Lizzietish81
    • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

      Just saw that movie on TV again the other night and will always love the unforgettable Rosa Klebb. I saw that movie as a kid with my mom and can still remember the thrilling shock when she deployed them for the first time. Lotte Lenya, such genius casting.

  • Internet Hitler

    Fines? Imprismmints? All of them katie!

  • Resistance Fighter Astraea
    • jowgajen

      The hunter becomes the hunted.

    • Wolf Tracker

      Just 143 million?

      Equifax has access to every working persons confidential info for their credit reports.

      I was just saying on here the other day the next war would be fought by hackers online.

  • Michael R

    ” Well that didn’t work , but I have a plan B defense : MASS AFFLUENZA “

    • OutOfOrbit

      tried & proven as a plausible defense

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    UGH, the oddsmakers think the fucking Patriots will win tonight. I’d say I’ll watch Project Runway instead but that comes on after the game. Oh well, it might be refreshing to bash my head against the wall for a non-Donald related reason I guess…

    • Beanz&Berryz

      That’s why you wear your sportsball team helmet during the game…

    • Thiazin Red

      I will definitely watch Project Runway. I hope one of those twin twats goes. They are the worst.

      Team Kenya so far.

      • Blackest Noobs

        i will do neither. but im working.

        but even if i wasn’t….i would do neither.

  • OneYieldRegular

    If Donny Jr. was so concerned about the fitness of candidates for President, he should have taken his father to see a psychiatrist, a neurologist and a personal fitness trainer.

    • YoBunnyBunny

      And a proper hair stylist, too.

      • jowgajen

        Tailor….

        • Lizzietish81

          and put him away in a nice nursing home

    • Michael R

      … or that thing they used in the movie ” Fargo “

  • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

    O my fucking God:

    DHS source: just-leaked #OperationMega was meant to be called MAGA until the last minute. Complete outrage. https://t.co/1wp8RBOZdk— Gonzalo Martínez deV (@GonMaVe) September 7, 2017

    • TJ Barke

      It sounded better in the original German.

    • I Happened

      Isn’t mega and maga the same thing?

      • YoBunnyBunny

        I thought it was the same thing as “smegma”, right?

      • Blackest Noobs

        Mega-Godzilla?

        • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

          I prefer Mecha-Godzilla.

          • Blackest Noobs

            Mecha-Godzilla (the loser, such a loser got beat by Organic Godzilla, such a loser) versus Mega-Godzilla ( the bestest bigly Godzilla there ever was, truly a winner, such a winner, wins all the time)

    • Thiazin Red

      Somehow his supporters will insist that its not racist, and anyway isn’t pointing out racism the real racism?

    • Mormos

      whoa if true

  • I Happened

    I wonder if they keep asking the same questions over and over again hoping to bore Jr to death.

    • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

      Junior is too stupid to be bored. And he can’t remember his last testimony, so his lies will trip him up. Bigly.

      • miss_grundy

        He sounds exactly like his daddy. Another doofus who can’t remember what he said five minutes ago.

      • I Happened

        When they ask the same question, is he allowed to submit previous testimony in writing?

        • OutOfOrbit

          of coarse

        • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

          Nah, I think they like to keep him twisting in the wind.

  • Panika MCD

    I had a General Land Office hearing tacked onto my day about Community Development Block Grants for Disaster Recovery.

    they’re talking about “the Ike Dike” again. it’s not that I’m opposed to this idea. it’s that the name is so stupid that it just asks to be opposed.

    please rename “the Ike Dike”. please rename “the Ike Dike”. please. re. name. the. Ike. Dike.

    • OutOfOrbit

      i likes dikes

    • Covfefe

      Headline writers like names like “Ike Dike”

      • Panika MCD

        it makes me want to give them all wedgies starting with George P. Bush.

    • bupkus231

      Maybe the “Harvey Levee”? Yeah, I know it doesn’t quite rhyme – and the project doesn’t appear to be anywhere closer to being a levee than it was a dike )

      • Panika MCD

        or we could just decide to NOT name it after a storm.

  • miss_grundy

    So, lying to a committee. That would be perjury, even if he isn’t under oath and I hope it is also obstruction of justice. Hopefully, daddy and sonny boy will both be wearing orange onesies at a federal prison.

  • Marr

    Just an aside: Jr and the Russians met ien Trump Tower. Why? Did Jr or the Russians request it? Did the Russians trick Jr into thinking it was his idea?

    The info they claim to have was tantalizing but supposedly not useful. What if their primary goal wasn’t to entrap Jr but to plant bugs, take a look around for info, check on that server that was in constant contact with Russia. Maybe the router needed to be turned on and off because it needed a hard reset by Kremlin IT Solutions Inc. LLC.

    It is said the mistake most people make with understanding espionage is not looking for the third and fourth level goals of their enemies.

    My personal guess is Putin and his people are frustrated not by the lack of agenda creation on Trump’s side, but by the lack of challenge in the chess game they thought they were going to get to play while they are stuck with Trump’s people who are still trying to figure out the instructions for Candy Land.

    • Wolf Tracker

      The meeting was set up by Agolorov a Russian friend of Trump’s that helped set up the miss Universe contest in Russia then got Trump involved in a hotel project funded by Putin and some Russian mafia figures.

      Agolorov is also in the Steel dossier as the person that has the info about Trump and Russian underage hookers so looks like blackmail involved.

      One of the Russians that has dual citizenship has allready testified to the grand jury.

    • shivaskeeper

      The Russians and Putin in particular are not looking for a chess game. They are looking for a destabilized West that will not be able to counter any serious geopolitical moves. That is the end goal. Weakening NATO, weakening the faith in the IS, weakening US political standing around the world with regional allies and adversaries. None of that is the chess game you allude too. They just want to be able to do what they want to do with no push back.

      • bbayliss

        Which is why they hated Clinton and Obama who were worthy adversaries.

        • shivaskeeper

          They hated those two because they were able to block Russian ambitions. That still doesn’t make it a game that the formerly losing side us now upset about because their adversary just isn’t good enough.

          • bbayliss

            not a game.

      • Marr

        That is an upper level government goal. For the people on the ground, and in the planning rooms, it is all about the game. It is all about the challenge and adequate adversaries.

        • shivaskeeper

          The goal in all Intel work is to make the right assumptions and get shit done. It really isn’t a game.

          Two Scoops is an Intel analyist’s wet dream. They damn near don’t even have to build a profile of him and guess what he’s going to do since he Tweets everything out anyway.

    • Rebel Scum with permit

      I’ve used it before, but I think it’s applicable again. It was like this classic cartoon- a fishing expedition to see how dumb the fish were. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/db6b969e8f6b0792b53eb85eeb7ae9d1caefdbc77a6be6fbc91708d4c6364bc5.gif

      • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

        One of his all-time best

    • bbayliss

      You seem to assume this was the only meeting, I think there were more.

      • Marr

        Oh I hardly assume there was only one. Who knows perhaps everyone involved except Jr knew the true goal of this meeting. And he was considered too gullible or lacking in other qualities to be brought into the fold. Perhaps every meeting was to feel out which people could be brought in and which needed to be excluded.

        • bbayliss

          Yup Jr. was the useful idiot, Kushner already knew because he was colluding with the cyber faction, Manafort was the $ guy. I wouldn’t be surprised if Priebus and trump were both there too.

          • John Oliphant

            “Rarely is the question asked, is our children learning?”

          • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

            What I heard is that Manafort was texting Trump.

  • Bub, the cynical zombie
    • TJ Barke

      Corruption eruption.

      • OutOfOrbit

        GOOD ONE!

  • jesuswasablack

    Who cares about legal statues when your Daddy has the power of the pardon?
    http://s.quickmeme.com/img/09/097d8936fe1a47320ce8aa8f998413f34e7a2a8536a2f5310e271c0e45c306d4.jpg

    • Beanz&Berryz

      The ones who realize that pardon power doesn’t apply to state offenses…

      • jesuswasablack

        I’m pretty sure that lying to congress would be a Federal offense.

        • Beanz&Berryz

          That’s just one… an interview with the NY AG would solve that problem…

        • WIDTAP

          But Contempt of Congress can be handled as Inherent Contempt, meaning that the Senate can either lock him up or sue him in civil court. No pardons for Inherent Contempt or Civil cases.

          • Beanz&Berryz

            I just LOVE to learn shit here….

    • Michael R

      Isn’t there some rule for not pardoning treason
      especially by a president who committed treason ?

      • OutOfOrbit

        i haz hurd that

      • WIDTAP

        Nope.

  • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

    supposedly a bipartisan health care bill in 10 days.

    I’ll believe it when I see it:

    (CNN)The Republican chairman of the Senate health committee said Thursday that he hopes to release a bipartisan health care bill “within 10 days or so.”

    Sen. Lamar Alexander of Tennessee spoke with reporters after the conclusion of a health care hearing on Capitol Hill — and just weeks after Republicans failed to pass legislation to gut major portions of Obamacare.

    “I’m going to sit down with (Democratic) Sen. (Patty) Murray and with other senators and come to a conclusion about what I think we can pass,” Alexander said. “I want to be able to take to Sen. (Mitch) McConnell and Sen. (Chuck) Schumer a consensus proposal within 10 days or so.”

    At the hearing, governors hailing from five states were armed with a stern and unified message: Congress and President Donald Trump had better get their acts together to strengthen Obamacare and stabilize the individual marketplace.

    • TJ Barke

      If it doesn’t include slitting poor people’s throats then McTurtle and Randroid will never go for it.

    • Easy. ongress and President Donald Trump had better get their acts together to strengthen Obamacare and stabilize the individual marketplace.

      That is what the plan is going to be. They will call it something else though, to save face.

    • bupkus231

      What does Patty Murray say? I’d almost be willing to bet that Alexander released this statement without talking to her or those “other Senators”…

      • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

        I hope it’s something along the lines of:
        “I definitely have something he can pass. How he’ll get a porcupine up there in the first place? I have no idea.”

    • Skwerl the Nazi Puncher

      Did someone bother to ask a democrat?

    • Covfefe

      Imma sit and wait for the devil.

  • Bub, the cynical zombie
  • Blackest Noobs

    someone, some family, ought to lay off the goddamn spray tanner.

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸
    • TJ Barke

      I AM JUST SO SHOCKED!

    • Latverian Diplomat

      I’m surprised that they are surprised that a “trustee” with the privileges described wouldn’t be a conduit for contraband.

    • Blackest Noobs

      that’s just awesome and that’s so my Trump.

    • OneYieldRegular

      “…with an…” what?? An AK-47 painted like the American flag? An ounce of bath salts up her nose? An orangutan wrapped around her hips? Come on, the suspense is killing me!

      • Ricky Gay

        AOT,K

    • Wolf Tracker

      Trump picks the best people!

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
    • Martini Ambassador 🍸

      Sickening

  • btwbfdimho
    • bubbuhh

      Since Washington and Oregon are more laid back about Big Fire than almost anyone these days, I guess the golf course one is for real. Besides, it don’t have no Trumpass.

      • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

        I saw that golfing towards the fire trap pic yesterday and was curious if it were real or ‘shopped.

  • Ricky Gay
  • Thiazin Red

    Hmmm, do I want a burger? Yes

    Am I too lazy to walk over to Shake Shack? Maybe. Maybe I’ll get one from Schinpper’s instead, I don’t like them quite as much, but they do deliver.

    • OutOfOrbit

      step outside, close door, take 5 steps, then decide

  • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

    Here’s some news from my alma mater:

    Great analysis @ingrid_slette. Darker days from this #wildfires #smoke and #haze. https://t.co/aDFj8MJ8H6— Joe von Fischer (@ProfVonfischer) September 7, 2017

  • bubbuhh

    Wife of an ethics lawyer for the Trump Organization has been arrested after allegedly having sex with an inmate

    Speculation iz she wuz lookin for migraine relief

    PS Inmate wuz not her husband or a Trump

    http://www.nydailynews.com/news/national/trump-lawyer-wife-arrested-alleged-sex-inmate-article-1.3478274 https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/aa5db53073671297ecc7ef6bd5f44a298ffbce1de4d8a1b3fcf48ac6da93adae.jpg

    • Blackest Noobs

      also had a bottle of pills, perhaps smuggling into the jail

    • OneYieldRegular

      Wow, that is one full-service law firm.

      • Ricky Gay

        Just going over his briefs

      • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

        Previously on Oz. HUH!!!!

    • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

      Isn’t that the girl from Full House?

    • Skwerl the Nazi Puncher

      Like I keep saying: humans are horny.

    • Thiazin Red

      Also, it totally fitting that someone who works for Trump would be stuck in a totally 80s style. Look at that hair, pure 80s.

      • I was gonna say that but I did not wanna be catty.
        So glad you did it for me :D

        • Ricky Gay

          Lucky for her the 80s are back baby! Sadly for her, she had drugs in her parachute pants. :(

    • SayItWithWookies

      If her hubby works for Trump, she was probably just wondering what having sex with an inmate was going to be like.

      • bubbuhh

        fuckin in the car iz hard on the do

    • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

      Wait one damn second here. There are, specifically, ethics lawyers working for Trump Org? That sounds fishy right there.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
    • uhm.
      A: I did not know the Bish’s were agin it. Good on them!
      B: Catholics are supposed to be all for the Jesusy red stuff- you know, the crap the Real Christians ™ absolutely ignore?
      and C:
      There are a lot of Latinx Catholics so duh, Bannon

    • Latverian Diplomat

      If the Bishops wanted to fill the churches they could just get a big screen and put the game on. Maybe a beer font instead of that lame baptismal one.

    • Rebel Scum with permit

      How many stereotypes can we cram in one statement?
      I’ll start with 2
      All DREAMers are Hispanic
      All Hispanics are Catholics.

      • My otherwise very conservative born again sister is real down on this anti immigration thing.
        For reasons and they are good ones.
        I can work with that.

      • Latverian Diplomat

        Catholics are just out to win the numbers game, population wise.

        • Finnibar87

          Another game?

          Oh for fuck’s sake!

    • hendenburg2

      Bannon should be sent back to the 1920’s, where Catholics were the villians in the “globalist” dogwhistles.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      Dumbfuck isn’t aware that a large percentage of Evangelicals are also immigrants?
      It’s hard to hold a coalition of “others” together when the only thing they have in common is hatred of “others”. The fucknut Trumpanzees are spinning apart, back into their many different categories of hatred.

  • Jamoche

    Next time the “it’s just some rain” troll stops by, here’s more hurricane size comparison pix: http://www.sfgate.com/news/local/article/Maps-show-jaw-dropping-size-12177530.php#photo-14064890

    • We had a “it’s just rain” troll?

      • Shanzgood

        Yup. They wanted to talk about something more important.

        • Ohhh right. Like how we should not talk about Russia, we should be more concerned with X. Or how we should not talk about Facebook because there are children dying in India or something.

        • Skwerl the Nazi Puncher

          More important than dick jokes?

        • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

          Something that cost more than the 15 billion dollars we committed to spend today on that rain?

          • Shanzgood

            I don’t remember really. It was just annoying and making inappropriate jokes about the people in the path of the hurricanes, I think. Dok dressed them down pretty sharply.

      • Jamoche

        Yeah, Irish something-or-other. Lots of variations on the “Liberals are too worried about a little rain when _[insert Trumpie thing here]_”

    • Skwerl the Nazi Puncher

      She needs to save it for when she faces the eyewall. Then it’s ballsy as fuck.

      “200 mph gusts? Why is everyone worked up? It’s just a bit of rain!.”

      I’ll pay $5000 if she stops a flying telephone pole when she is saying it

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        At 200 mph, cinderblocks start flying. You just don’t want to be there.

  • weejee
    • Twit that one of them tearing down Saddam and ask her if they were liberals

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      Someone who gets paid to write should be able to come up with a better phrase than “our most killing war.”

      • OUR MOST KILLING WAR!!!!!!
        Uhm. Next to WWII seeing as how many millions more died in that, Pegpegs.

      • Finnibar87

        But it’s pure Noonan.

        Twaddle? Indeed.

        But Noonan, too.

    • Jamoche

      “(And can the country stand half Fox and half free? — h/t Driftglass)”

    • Resistance Fighter Callyson

      When you receive this much criticism you have to try again.

      Or you can rethink your suppositions FFS…

  • Skwerl the Nazi Puncher

    Forgive me Father Alcohol for I have sinned. It has been seven days since my last drunk.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Oh shit–I’d better watch my back:

    https://twitter.com/pharris830/status/905824694598848514

    • Finnibar87

      And bumper.

    • oooo pointing guns at us because of a bumper sticker. So much man. So tough.

    • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste
      • CindyinEncinitas

        I used to have that one too!

    • Skwerl the Nazi Puncher

      That’s what your penis is for.

      • Imma tell you all this right now. If some asshole shoots me dead because of a bumper sticker, I fully expect all you guys to go slap the same damn sticker on your bumper by that very evening.
        And I, of course, shall do the same.

        • Skwerl the Nazi Puncher

          Can we also slap our penises on you car?

          I’ll go sit down now.

    • He’s ready for the big house, sporting that tight-lipped “please don’t stick your cock in my mouth” mugshot.

    • rosenbomb

      He looks like an Economically Anxious American™

      • Finnibar87

        One of the EEA.

        The wretched, the armed.

    • Wolf Tracker

      Great- I hope they take away his gun rights for life!

    • Rebel Scum with permit

      When you have a hammer, everything looks like a nail.

    • John Oliphant

      I am waiting for his tearful you tube video mea culpa.

    • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

      Pardon from Little Babby Donnie ins 5 … 4 … 3 ….

    • Rick Hill

      Too bad he wasn’t armed because then he would have been more polite….wait….

    • yyyaz

      I see McNewspaper is too chickenshit to publish any of the bumper stickers.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      “… and I will oppose to the death your right to say it.”

      I think he may have gotten that just a bit wrong.

  • Alexander Stallwitz

    The very funny Jennifer Trout is doing another recap of a bad novel. She did an amazingly brutal and hillarious takedown of the 50 shades of Grey series. This newesrt includs Mary Sues, love triangles, plagrism and best seller list chicanery http://jennytrout.com/?p=11574

    Edit Whoops forgot the H in Http.

    • wait! what?

      http://jennytrout.com/?p=11574

      works better. Disqus ate your leading “h”.

      • Alexander Stallwitz

        Yeah, i noticed

      • Rebel Scum with permit

        Thank you for that. I loved her 50 Shades takedown. Also, I don’t have the linkey but she had some hilarious responses to Essie’s Name Our 50 Shades Nail Polish Competition. My favorite was “This guy. This fucking guy.”

    • Thiazin Red

      The 50 shades ones were great. And holy shit is the new book badly written.

      • Alexander Stallwitz

        I hate using the snarl word “Special Snowflake” but holy shit this wannabe Mary Sue is totally one.

        • Thiazin Red

          The whole, everyone in town loves me and tells me I’m soooo beautiful, but I don’t fit in and just want a normal life, is so terrible. I can’t imagine reading through an entire book of that without the jokes.

          • Alexander Stallwitz

            I feel bad that Mrs.Trout had to read this abomination first

          • Thiazin Red

            That reminds me I got a copy of American Vampire ages ago, I should red that.

    • Vincent Ricola

      Yay!

    • Jamoche

      “So, the people of this town constantly tell her she’s beautiful, describe her as sweet and kind, but don’t want their progeny to associate with her and are one bad harvest away from burning her alive. I mean, I guess I see the point. I’m only 4% into this book and I want to set this living embodiment of imaginary problems on fire.”

      :D

    • Latverian Diplomat

      I thought NYT at least flagged books with significant bulk buys, but apparently the knew the internals of the detection algorithm well enough to fool it (e.g., the thing with <30 books per order at B&N).

      • Alexander Stallwitz

        Yeah, ironically the NYT started doing this because Conservative book clubs and groups would do bulk buys to prop up sales of Conservative Authors. As you said, Whoever do this knew enough to work around the safeguards.

        • Skwerl the Nazi Puncher

          And Scientology.

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸
    • Resistance Fighter Callyson

      I love my congress critter.

    • Wolf Tracker

      Donny’s statement is an admission of collusion. He admitted he wanted the meeting to get dirt on Clinton knowing that might be illegal because he thought he may need to contact his attorney about the meeting which he did not do.

      He may as well have asked Mueller to write his statement for him because he couldn’t do a better job of admitting his guilt to felonies.

      • Rick Hill

        He proly walked out feeling like he sre covered his bases.

  • CO
    • Martini Ambassador 🍸
    • proudgrampa

      We have just stepped through the wormhole…

    • Pft they are not praising Democrats.
      They are saying how he really stuck it to them and got such a good deal.
      By giving them everything they want

    • Fartknocker

      Bannon seems to think Nancy is a nice lady.

    • Vincent Ricola

      Does this mean I have to watch Steve Douchey and the slow one tomorrow morning? Cuz I don’t know that I can go there.

      • CO

        I think I’d rather play Russian roulette.

    • bluicebank

      The version we’re in is best described by chaos theory. Or a Feynman diagram.

      • proudgrampa

        A Venn diagram might explain a lot…

    • rosenbomb

      They used to be all about Party over Constitution, now they’re for Trump over Party.

    • OneWhiteWhisker

      I don’t know what’s happening or how to feel about it anymore. I think I’m officially broken.

    • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

      I think I know what the strategy is, now:

      We’re all going to be so emotionally bruised and battered from all this partisan pole-reversing whiplash, so when the Peepee Tapes® finally do come out, we’ll be too distracted, slow-blinking at our drool drops to really notice anything.

    • ltmcdies

      Whut?????

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
    • jesterpunk

      The GOP wanted to investigate if Chelsea did Benghazi because Democrats kept talking about Trump’s treason.

    • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

      Into the bog!

    • Thiazin Red

      Can you imagine if she was constantly popping into meetings just to say hi and getting everyone off track? Can you imagine any of it?

  • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

    Las Vegas Metro Police Union demands NFL investigate Michael Bennett, claims he “defamed” them by his statements on Twitter and Instagram.
    https://twitter.com/Vanessa_Murphy/status/905845854128529408

    • ariel_gee_398

      Answering the question, “How are police unions being a dumb, racist stereotype of themselves today?”

      • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

        Oh, and out of the 126 different body cams and/or security cameras where footage was collected, guess which 1 was not on?

    • CindyinEncinitas

      This makes total sense. Yep. The police’s fee fees were hurt.

  • proudgrampa

    “It’s a sin to tell a lie…”

    https://youtu.be/G-6aSU2UBWA

    • Lance Thrustwell

      Does anybody here remember Vera Lynn?

  • Angela Ruzzo

    Meanwhile, it’s not illegal for POTUS to lie to the citizens about weapons of mass destruction in order to start a land war. Have I got that right?

    • Not if it is under oath.

      • Beanz&Berryz

        And “believe me” is not an oath…

      • Angela Ruzzo

        They do take an oath. First part goes “I do solemnly swear that I will faithfully execute the Office of President of the United States. . .” In my book that means you don’t lie so you can start a war just because you want to start a war. Johnson did the same thing, but maybe for different reasons.

        • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

          i think the point was, it’s not an oath to tell the truth.

      • Skwerl the Nazi Puncher

        What about under oaf?

  • beingreleased
    • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

      that one word “heals” takes me back to WoW BG’s and raids.

    • Finnibar87

      Welcome to America’s Era of Stupid, y’all.

    • Finnibar87

      It has what plants crave:

      electrolytes.

    • CindyinEncinitas

      Is this Rebekah Mercer’s news feed?

    • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

      I see VF’s point. Melania has terrible choice in accessories … well, one particular accessory.

    • bluicebank

      Wait. I thought oafs in the high hills were Trump’s base. (cough, no pun intended)

    • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

      Can’t decide which derp has the best flavor.

      Imma go with “Gollum J. Trump liked”

  • LeighBowery’sLuxuryComedy

    Ohhh man, I was all set to clock out and go home but nope, I had to see this little post right here..

  • Scooby

    Maybe he thought the statue against lying was removed by Antifa.

  • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

    Irony – the fly landing on your fly swatter.

    • Finnibar87

      The fly swats you!

      (Shows self back to Branson)

  • Amelia Resists and Persists

    Okay, it’s time for Strange Request Thursday here on the Wonkette Open Thread!

    Wonkers in Nashville, Boston, Atlanta, Austin, Chicago, LA, Vegas, Portland OR, Charlotte NC, or basically any city in Ohio (there are others but I’m not typing out the whole list because it is long):

    If you have a library card and do not use it to access Hoopla Digital AND would not be averse to allowing me to use it, I am prepared to offer undying gratitude and also my first-born. I would need your library card number and basically nothing else and it wouldn’t give me the ability to fuck with you or cost you anything, which I never would even if I could. It would just let me read a bunch of comics I can’t afford.

    If any of you lovely, wonderful people are willing to help me out, let me know and I’ll give you my email so we can follow up.

    • Not in VA?

      • Amelia Resists and Persists

        Where in VA, what’s the name of the library system? I can check.

        • Think it isn’t a system, just a county thing. Caroline

          • Amelia Resists and Persists

            Caroline County is there!

            You are wonderful!

          • got it, you can erase now ^.^

    • Panika MCD

      I would if I had a library card, but we poet people have a bad habit of “liberating” books from libraries…so we donate to libraries because we support their missions, but steer clear of actually having library cards because us taking out books negatively impacts said missions.

      • Amelia Resists and Persists

        Ah, thus the beauty of digital libraries. If I forget it, it goes back automatically.

        • Panika MCD

          I have my own notation system!

    • Skwerl the Nazi Puncher

      Wait. You have Public Library Systems?

      Elitist!

      Pm me if you need academic articles. I have access to most publications.

      • Amelia Resists and Persists

        Hallelujah I’m out of college and probably never going back, but thank you anyway!

  • Mr. Blobfish

    What really chafes my fins is price gouging. I can live with the price of roses tripling before Valentines Day. But trying to make a bigger profit off people during dire circumstances is truly foul.

    • Ninja0980

      Anyone who does that should be put in prison, period.

    • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

      “But trying to make a bigger profit off people during dire circumstances is truly foul.”

      Tarred and feathered!

      • Finnibar87

        It’s the only way they’ll learn.

      • Raan

        And run out of town on an electrified rail.

    • Lance Thrustwell

      Crapitalism.

  • Ninja0980

    https://twitter.com/dominicholden/status/905914870180315138
    So much for being the best friend to LGBT folks ever!

    • I am almost 100% sure that the gheys knew that was a fib. Except of course the log cabin types.
      They must be REALLY good fucks, with the way they can twist themselves all up into fun shapes in order to deal with voting R. Limber as all get out

      • Blackest Noobs

        it’s called greed, Jen….they give a fuck-all about rights of other homos and such when they can cash in.

        greed literally trumps all.

    • jowgajen

      This is my shocked face.

    • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

      FWIW … the baker is “Masterpiece Cakeshop in Lakewood Colorado”. Their website says “If you can think it up, Jack can make it into a cake!” which kinda rings false for someone who thinks up “Congratulations Adam and Steve”. Anyway, website also says they’re not accepting wedding orders. Too busy?

    • The Masterpiece Baker is currently running my cake decoration idea through the appointees on his Jeebus committee to see if it’ll pass inspection.

      Fingers crossed….
      https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/25a30cdb5116a054dd2c1157ecf794a4a5c881a4aded6aa280153ca085dd49fe.jpg

  • hudson

    completely OT. WFH because under weather. realized hoards of non-rent paying, long-beaked big-feathered visitors in the yard. bastards made my otherwise gloomy day. they are really chirpy and seem to have a lot to say.

    • Finnibar87

      Geese.

      You got geese.

      • hudson

        0.5 miles from lake/pond. these sound like parrots. Couldn’t see them without glasses and also foggy headed because of meds.

        • Finnibar87

          Well, parrots are unlikely in this hemisphere – you’re North, right?

          It has to be a quacking sort of beast, and you’re not that far from water.

          And hope for non geese, because they shit everywhere.

          • The Wanderer

            Miami and a few other parts of Florida have feral populations of parrots.

          • Finnibar87

            True.

            But!

            Hudson would have evacuated, maybe.

      • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

        Take an aspirin or an oxycontin and call me in the morning.

      • Rebel Scum with permit

        Otherwise known as lawn carp.

        • Finnibar87

          Truly.

          Like machines.

    • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste
      • hudson

        lol.

      • Rebel Scum with permit

        I have Hummingbirds. Currently going through about a quart of sugar water a day. I’m convinced if I don’t keep them fed they’ll find a way inside.

        • Finnibar87

          And can you really trust an animal all hepped up on sugar water?

          Even a small one could be lethal!

        • hudson

          about that. i tend to capture bugs that get stuck in the house and release them outside. they all seem to be joyous when let go in yard. you think they realize it happened?

          • Rebel Scum with permit

            I know bees just want to GTFO and head back to the hive. I try to keep the hummies away from the door as I don’t want them to become cat toys.

        • Rebel Scum with permit

          They like to hover about a foot from my eyes. I’m convinced they are scanning me, to what purpose I don’t know. Maybe when th Day of The Birds arrives they will keep me as a slave.

          • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

            Sure, sure. Till they rip your esophagus and larynx out your throat.

          • Finnibar87

            I’ve heard they are vicious.

            Word on the street sort of thing.

        • proudgrampa

          What have you done?

          WHAT HAVE YOU DONE??!!11!!??

    • BadKitty904
    • Panika MCD

      you must be delusional in your fevered state. no one likes grackles that much.

      • The Wanderer

        Perhaps it’s a visit from the Grackle of Weltschmerz (an associate of the Bluebird of Happiness and the Penguin of Giddiness).

        • Panika MCD

          Blue Jays are also terrible.

      • hudson

        lol.

  • BadKitty904
    • The Wanderer

      “Don’t know why
      There’s no sun up in the sky
      ‘Cause it’s night-time . . . “

    • Thiazin Red

      I want her dress.

      • BadKitty904

        She will, in the classiest possible way, cut a bitch.

        • hudson

          i hope so. this be time to cut bitch. dress appropriately. put the fear of god in them (with votes and reason).

      • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

        We all do.

        Wait.

        • proudgrampa

          Cuz, you took the words right off my keyboard!

    • wobbly

      According to my 78 year old Jewish husband, Lena Horne was the most beautiful woman in the world. And she could sing!

      • BadKitty904

        Your husband may well be correct. And by all accounts, she was a charming, gracious lady, as well.

  • The Wanderer

    Did Hoofwanker Jr. say that his father invented the tit? Because everyone knows that Howard Hughes did that.

  • Finnibar87

    I also find Junior Idiot’s face unpleasant.

    It’s the rodent mouth, perhaps.

    • Wolf Tracker

      Yup he has that sneaky little greasy rat thief look.

  • https://twitter.com/PolkCoSheriff/status/905438240278278144

    I guess one way to deal with a crime problem is to scare people away from seeking shelter during a major disaster.

    • Latverian Diplomat

      Well, sure, you want the professional criminals out there looting–don’t want to leave that to the amateurs.

    • Wolf Tracker

      He is probably up for election.

      Asshole has no humanity.

      • Blackest Noobs

        let me check, white guy sheriff, yep, it figures.

    • Stulexington

      How white of him.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Technically, words are actions when uttered by public figures. That said:

    https://twitter.com/TheBeatWithAri/status/905917520753811457

    • Wolf Tracker

      All I had to read was Donny’s statement without even hearing him testify to see he is sooo screwed.

      I can’t believe his lawyer let him write that statement because it is a full admission of guilt to felonies.

      Maybe daddy wrote it for him?

      • Finnibar87

        It’s standard to write a statement prior.

        • Wolf Tracker

          Not like that if your lawyer is doing their job.

          He straight admitted to felonies and his defense is he was stupid.

          • Stulexington

            Like the Trumps let their lawyers do their jobs. That’s one of the reasons they can’t get good representation, they don’t listen and they don’t keep their mouths shut.

          • Wolf Tracker

            So far they don’t seem to be doing anything to defend them not that I mind.

          • miss_grundy

            And they don’t pay their bills.

          • Finnibar87

            They are not a Bright People.

            Trumps. Even the name says ‘stupid’.

          • Pilotshark

            to bad ignorance of the law is no excuse.

  • 🐶 BRAINTHRUST 5000 🐶
    • Blackest Noobs

      Obvious Plant obviously

      • 🐶 BRAINTHRUST 5000 🐶

        OP always puts a little leaf logo on their work.

        • Blackest Noobs

          maybe he/she is done with their notes….it’s time to get unreal.

    • Blackest Noobs

      oh ha ha…my bad…i thought it read “if you see something, eat something”

  • Panika MCD

    still looking for a better name for the “Ike Dike” that doesn’t make me want to give George P. Bush eleventy wedgies.

    • Antonin Dvorak

      Dwight Dam?

      • Panika MCD

        in the Houston ship channel? (they were naming it after the hurricane which adds to the wedgies I want to give.)

        • Antonin Dvorak

          I thought they were naming it after Eisenhower.

          • Panika MCD

            nope. they need ALL THE WEDGIES!

    • jesterpunk

      Ted Cruz’s empty head Dike?

      • Panika MCD

        nah. can’t name anything after an elected official until 10 years after they leave elected office or they are dead. besides, Cornyn would never support a project with Ted Cruz’s name on it even if it does lampoon him.

        • jesterpunk

          Are you sure Ted Cruz isnt dead? He doesnt actually do much and he did read “Green Eggs and Ham” during a protest filibuster about the ACA with no sense of irony whatsoever. He might just be brain dead.

          • Panika MCD

            and then John Cornyn will filibuster the whole thing. I like the project proposal, but the name is the epitome of derptitude.

          • jesterpunk

            I am just joking, not a big fan of Cruz.

          • Panika MCD

            neither is Cornyn.

    • Rebel Scum with permit

      Maybe a woman?

      • Panika MCD

        The Molly Ivins Dike?

  • Notreelyhelping

    Senator: Are you lying, Mr. Trump Jr.?
    Trump Jr.: No sir.
    Senator: Jail him.

  • WotsAllThisThen

    In spite of the many lies Don Jr told Congress, the GOP committee finds him not guilty of being Hillary. Case closed.

    • jesterpunk

      Devin Nunez demands an investigation to find out if Hillary set him up.

    • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

      But his emails!

  • 🐶 BRAINTHRUST 5000 🐶

    please watch this video. It has cheered me up immensely.

    https://twitter.com/KalvinMacleod/status/905601503431405568

  • Blackest Noobs

    well given the family, i would say the answer is A LOT…Donnie Junior LIED….A LOT.

    • jesterpunk

      Is his name really Donny Jr?

      • Blackest Noobs

        well truth be known, Senior calls him shithead.

        • jesterpunk

          I thought he called him a loser?

          • Blackest Noobs

            oh that too, it’s in the rotation of names and slurs Senior calls him. Little Donny calls Dad fatso…but only behind his back.

        • RMKH

          In other words, the turd didn’t fall far from the asshole

        • Jeffocaster in the West

          And he gave the world’s biggest vineyard to Eric Von Shithead.

  • Perkniticky

    He is a strange shade. Not orange… nut brown maybe?

    • Finnibar87

      Cinnamon, even.

    • II Gosala

      brown is just orange with some blue in it. True art fact.

      • Panika MCD

        are you saying the surrogate was a member of the Blue Man Group or that Banana Runtz is one of those chimeras Alex Jones is always yakking about?

    • bubbuhh

      I blame the birth surrogate

    • OneWhiteWhisker

      Toasted shit?

    • Nut brown is what you get when you wipe incorrectly.

  • CO
  • Sharzi

    “Russian Adoption” is code for “sanctions.” I have no doubt he went there to find out what dirty Russia made up about Clinton, how they were working on getting his father elected but all they wanted to be sure of is that if they do it, those sanctions would be lifted. They had their agenda and he had his… neither wanted to hear the other’s issues.

    • Wolf Tracker

      Throw in some blackmail by Russian mafia laundering money through Trump properties and you got it pretty much covered.

  • Moebym of the Returners

    Re: Ivanka Trump being most powerful Jewish woman.

    https://twitter.com/AngryBlackLady/status/905784066833862657

    • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

      Ivanka has shown she is utterly powerless. Otherwise we’d still be in Paris Climate Accord, DACA enrollees would be safe, equal pay initiative would still be active…

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        You misspelled ‘complicit’

    • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

      The original article is months old. Let’s save our rage for more current events.

  • La forza del resistino

    Watching Kamala H on MSNBC. The only thing to convince me she’s not running is the camera not focusing on her Nike track shoes. You, go lady
    .

    • Thiazin Red

      But didn’t you hear, she did a fundraiser and is now forever unclean according to the Berners.

      • Resistance Fighter Callyson

        That settles it: Kamala 2020!

      • La forza del resistino

        she washed up by co-sponsoring Bernie’s medicare for all bill. a good move.

      • La forza del resistino

        Sadly. the requisite moment will be when she has to say she wouldn’t recognize Nancy Pelosi in a room.

        • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

          We won’t allow that. We will stand by Nancy. Fuck the fuckers who hate her just because.

    • hudson

      lol.

      after what they did to HRC. I’m scared they will reduce an effective public servant to rubble. I think there is enough power in house and senate committees to keep things in-line. at least till things settle.

      • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

        Trump is already working on a witty (to him) and insulting nickname. I predict “Crooked Kamala”

        • La forza del resistino

          Her Asian/Black parents leads to Karamel Kamala.

    • Beanz&Berryz

      “Nike track shoes” – we call her “spikes” for short…

  • Doug Langley

    In today’s episode of You Didn’t Read My Mind And Do What I Wanted: Couple weeks ago boss told me to take empty boxes to back room and put them “out of the way”. So I put them in a corner where you could walk around them. Wrong! said boss. You should put them on shelves!! So I put them up on the top shelves. No more complaints.

    Yesterday boss told me to take more empty boxes and put them “out of the way”. I iz smrt and put them up on the top shelves. Today she dresses me down. “Why did you put them on the top shelves? They obviously should go on the bottom shelves!!” I said “Well, it’s easier to get empty boxes off the top instead of full boxes.” She said “Not when you’re my height!” (She’s shorter than me) I gave up and promised to put them on the bottom shelves. “No, no, we don’t have time, don’t worry about it.” (classic passive-aggressive)

    She was in total freak out mode today. “Here’s the morning stuff to file and it must be done by 11:00!! I did it by 10:00. So much to do! Stuff coming in! Red Alert, Red Alert!!

    • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

      ugh, people like that are the worst.

      • Blackest Noobs

        and we all wonder why some people go shooting other people.

        • Me not sure

          Makes me wonder why I haven’t already. Have I let bloody mayhem pass me by?

          • Blackest Noobs

            i think about it but honestly my own ethics gets in the damn way…but if i had to do it…well got past my own ethics…no gun…no knife…just my bare hands…though i probably have to bring snacks…ive got a long list of people.

          • Me not sure

            We need to cross check. We could probably divvy many of them up.

      • Doug Langley

        Of course, not one word of thanks if you get stuff done fast. Just panic, panic, the sky is falling, etc. Makes me nervous.

      • Jeff Ackerman

        Learn how to manage your boss, consult her on every detail.

        • Doug Langley

          I do. And then she stares at me as if I’m really stupid to ask.

          • Jeff Ackerman

            I’ve had one tell me “leave me the fuck alone and just fix it!”
            It takes time to become adept at it. Practice, practice!

          • Doug Langley

            I wish mine was like that. If I show any hesitation, she barges in and shows me how to do everything.

          • Jeff Ackerman

            Look at it as if she is your toy, manipulate her to do your work

          • Jeff Ackerman

            Be careful with my advice, I have worked construction and have had 70 to 80 jobs, as a crane operator you are always temporary help.

          • Doug Langley

            God – damn. You must have NO fear of heights. I have a terminal case. Hate it.

          • Jeff Ackerman

            The ones I operate stay on the ground, the worst job was running a crane 230 feet out on a very narrow railroad bridge and setting up with the crane tied to the bridge. 270 feet from the bottom.

          • merl1

            It works for me. I act dumb and my wife does whatever the hell she was hounding me to do.

    • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

      I neurotically keep empty boxes. Mrs Pixelz makes be toss (into recycling) Amazon shipping boxes. I ask her every time, hoping she’ll say “Yeah, keep that box. It looks pretty useful.”

      • Doug Langley

        Just get a cat. They can’t resist empty boxes.

      • Finnibar87

        I, too, like a sturdy box.

        Just knowing one is in the house, is all.

    • Beanz&Berryz

      Fuck.. she’s beginning to freak ME out…

      • Doug Langley

        She reminds me a lot of my mother. My childhood was not pleasant.

        • Beanz&Berryz

          I bet “whipsaw” is a familiar concept…

    • CovfefeOfTheThoughtlessMind

      I’ve had one boss like that. I called it the land of the 180-degree turn.

    • SayItWithWookies

      Management by crisis. I had a boss like that — brought a user of our software to my desk, saying “She has a problem.” She describes it in a “when I do this, it does that, which is wrong” fashion, and he jumps in with “When can you fix it?” I explain that I’d have to look into it to understand why it was behaving badly, and he’s like, “tomorrow? The next day?” Now I’m annoyed. “Well that depends on whether you want it fixed fast or fixed right.”

      • Doug Langley

        It’s not really by crisis. It’s just a weird situation of consolidating files from different branches and it’s overloading the filing dept. Everyone knew it was coming. But boss is just so twitchy, “it’s gotta get done!!!!!”. She’s just nervous about it and it makes me nervous.

        • Rebel Scum with permit

          This is a boss with an excess of time on her hands. If she was busy and effective she would leave you to stack boxes and do her own work.

          • Doug Langley

            She’s super busy. Doing twenty things at once. One assistant and three temps including me. The rest of us just sit down and grind through the work and get things done. No problem. But’s she’s hyper about the whole thing.

          • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

            Meds. She needs meds.

            Nobody deserves this shit. I feel for ya, man.

          • Doug Langley

            Thanks. It’s so weird how everyone else in the place is so calm and pleasant and professional.

          • Rags

            They haven’t introduced you to the Molly stash behind the coffee machine?

  • OneYieldRegular

    Finally heard (indirectly) from Saint-Martinois friends. They got through the storm alive, but, like most of the people there now, are exhausted, more than a little traumatized and have no homes anymore.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      the photos have been devastating

      • OutOfOrbit

        and the repair scammers are on their way

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
    • Suttree

      There is something about “jaunty cap” that always makes me crack up!

      • NellCote71

        I like the exercise anklet myself. It is something I can see that twit upselling.

    • Latverian Diplomat

      Funny, but I’m pretty sure that only vertical stripes are slimming. I’ll grant that Ivanka wouldn’t know that.

    • Jamoche

      24 carat gold handcuffs? I’d worry about it being too bendy, but I’m sure it’s just the micro-millimeter thick coating that you find on coins on late-night ads.

      • Fortunately, since none of the accused have done any manual labour in their lives, they would have difficulty breaking out of cuffs made of tinfoil…

    • Rags

      Needz extra small option for handcuffs.

  • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

    posted in the wrong thread:

    lol, from C&L:

    Politico is reporting that Trump called both Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer and House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi early this morning to rave about the amazing news coverage their deal had earned. And apparently that is all it took for him to realize that he made a good choice.

    Oh, and during the call to Pelosi he agreed to her request to send a tweet reassuring DACA recipients. Reports are that after getting such rave reviews, he seems completely on board with working closely with them again. An insider reports that he is over the moon with the coverage, with Trump saying “The press has been incredible.”

    During a press conference on Thursday morning, Pelosi mentioned the call, saying: “I was telling my colleagues, ‘This is what I asked the president to do,’ and boom boom boom, the tweet appeared.” Trump did not send out any angry tweets denying her statements.

    • Skwerl the Nazi Puncher

      I understand the GOP is ordering kneepads after hearing this.

      • hendenburg2

        I believe the military term is “promotion pads”

      • Gerald Parks

        And sent aides to the local Office Depots to buy up all the large boxes of Tick Tacks! They are expecting to pull an all nighter!

    • OneWhiteWhisker

      Jesus Christ he’s so fucking easy to manipulate.

      • Blackest Noobs

        well no duh…all he ever wants is a win….and he really hasn’t had one since last November.

        • Gerald Parks

          Well…there is THAT!

      • Raan

        Well, yeah. That’s why Vladdy picked him.

    • ltmcdies

      So I guess they finally found somebody to manage Donnie’s twitter habit, huh

    • SayItWithWookies

      Maybe Nancy could ask Assmouth to stop ICE’s indiscriminate and nationwide raids later this month, just as a show of good faith.

      • Gerald Parks

        Hey now …you know that would be a step too far! To stop terrorizing Brown peoples! Jezzus what you thinkin’?/s

    • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

      We have just crossed over into
      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NzlG28B-R8Y

    • Rebel Scum with permit

      He does something that the other 75% of the American people like and he becomes more popular. How does that work, anyway?

      • Gerald Parks

        Yeah …it really is a mystery …LOL!

    • Wolf Tracker

      I have noticed the more Liberal media heaped lots of praise on him for that.

      He is a narcissist that needs constant stroking of his ego and he fired all his yes men and is on the outs with the GOP so he will do whatever Dems want if they play him right.

      • natoslug

        So you’re saying I should quit tweeting Vicente Fox videos to him if I want him to be nicer?

        • Wolf Tracker

          Maybe just keep them to Wonkette and lets see how we can make Trump dance.

    • NeoliberalBanksterCaptainHowdy

      Can Chuck and Nancy tell him he will get rave reviews when he resigns?

      • Msgr_MΩment

        They should tell him how popular shitcanning Pence would be, first.

    • BadKitty904

      OK, Nance and Chuck – y’all know what to do ongoing…

    • Awesome, maybe he’ll pass some good stuff before he’s led out of the oval office in handcuffs.

    • He liked the praise doing something not horrible got him. Let that sink in. Also dems? We can use this

    • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

      Hold on there. With cuarenta y cinco there’s always a foot on the way to his mouth.

  • BadKitty904

    Republican Propaganda and Corruption: A Seamless Partnership

    Newt Gingrich Used FOX Position to Push For-profit Colleges without Disclosing Conflict of Interest
    Following Media Matters inquiry, FoxNews.com added belated editor’s notes disclosing Gingrich’s for-profit college ties
    https://www.mediamatters.org/blog/2017/09/06/newt-gingrich-used-fox-position-push-profit-colleges-without-disclosing-conflict-interest/217852

    • NellCote71

      The Newt cheat? Clutches pearls, falls on fainting couch.

      • Msgr_MΩment

        He did it because he loves America so much. Same as usual.

    • Lol belated note

      • BadKitty904

        “Oops.”

  • OrG

    Bailiff,whack his pee pee.

    • OutOfOrbit

      OWEE!!!

    • Rags

      “Yes sir.
      Oops! Sorry, sir, missed!
      Oops! Sorry, sir, missed!
      Oops! Sorry, sir, missed!
      Sir, could I please just whack him upside the head? I can find that one.”

  • Wolf Tracker

    Great- at 78 hour notice they are running out of gas in Florida so people can’t even get out.

    Think they should have seen that coming!

    • Finnibar87

      It’s Florida, Jake.

      • NellCote71

        Good reference. Bravo/a

    • II Gosala

      Perhaps because a) it’s been 12 years since a major hurricane hit Florida and there are a lot of purple here who have never experienced one and b) Houston, a lot of people panicked early creating shortages starting a few days ago.

      There’s not much that could be done about it. Supplies are arriving as fast as they can be found and loaded.

      We like to joke about Florida, but the state is actually very good about this sort of thing.

      • Wolf Tracker

        Hmmm? Reports I hear is stations are already out of gas and where are they going to pump it from if it arrives because those station owners are not going to stick around much longer and they also have families.

    • Gov. Voldemort keeps saying that they’re trying to get us more gas.

      • Wolf Tracker

        Where are they going to pump it from because those station owners won’t stick around much longer?

        • Beats me. I saw him today asking the station owners to please stay open as long as they can, and that they’ll give gas station workers a police escort to wherever they’re going so they’ll be safe. Your guess is as good as mine as to whether the station owners will actually want to hang around till the last minute.

          This is going to be such a mess.

          • Wolf Tracker

            He could go full martial law and require stations to stay open I suppose but man that would be a mess.

          • I don’t expect him to do that, but who the fuck knows. I hate that guy, I just tend to assume that whatever the wrong thing is, he’ll do that. Since he’s apparently going to run for the Senate next year, he’ll probably aim for whatever he thinks will make him look good to voters. Hopefully that means keeping them alive, but we’ll see.

          • Wolf Tracker

            This storm is going to test that for sure.

            Stay safe!

        • shivaskeeper

          Several tanker trucks moving in under police escort and a large tanker ship moving into one of the ports under military escort.

          That should be the last of the shipments coming in until the storm passes.

  • OutOfOrbit

    How much did Jr lie? wrong question.

    Will anyone be held to account for Jr’s lies?

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Here’s hoping they take Arkema for all they’ve got:

    https://twitter.com/davidsirota/status/905873061164982272

    • Rebel Scum with permit

      I thought you could just take a lil’ ol’ drive on by and have a neighborly chat about their chemicals.

  • hudson

    so suddenly in the past few months the kitchen has got all device-y and hep. sure. fine. all nice. but something to be said about why you enjoy cooking no? i still start cooking by sharpening the knife much to the amusement of the missus.

    • Sheepshagger

      I start cooking by shouting at my children about the animals that we murdered to eat this blessed day. They seem to enjoy it.

    • Raan

      I start cooking by staring in the pantry to figure out what’s going to be the easiest side to make with dinner.

      • hudson

        oh man. yes that!! only i need to look at the freezer. missus has streamlined pantry and is very diligent about freezing veggies. we’ve only tied small batches of fish so far during days when pinkham was live.

      • Persistent Demme

        Doesn’t everyone?
        (I know I do.)

    • hudson

      bit of a personal revolt, i’ve said as much to missus, and i will say as much to the rest of the world you can pry the kitchen knife from my cold dead hands.

    • AJ Milne

      With you, here. While I’m not opposed in principle to some smartphone app that slices tomatoes/onions/etc., so far steel sharpened down to around a molecule wide _does_ seem to be the most reliable approach.

      • hudson

        how do i agree without you beyond the nominal one up vote?

  • In Sad, personal, first world problem news: today is the start of the Toronto Film Fest and i couldn’t swing my tickets this year. So i am at work

    • Raan

      It must be nice living in a first-world country.

    • proudgrampa

      I feel your pain *sniff*.

    • Three Finger Salute

      You’ve gone before? Did you see the Trudeau boxing movie? Was it good?

  • jesterpunk

    Nearly all House members of both parties voted to pass a $7.85 billion package to help victims of Hurricane Harvey on Wednesday — save for three conservative GOP lawmakers.

    Reps. Justin Amash (Mich.), Thomas Massie (Ky.) and Andy Biggs (Ariz.) were the only lawmakers to oppose the aid in the 419-3 vote.

    http://thehill.com/blogs/floor-action/house/349451-three-republicans-vote-against-harvey-package

    And over in the Senate a Harvey /Irma aid bill passed 80-17. McCain was being all Mavericky and Mavericked all over the bill.

    https://twitter.com/frankthorp/status/905865084727152640

    • Raan

      All Twenty of those Republicans can go fuck off up a hurricane-uprooted tree.

      • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

        I wonder what will happen when Irma clobbers SC, Senator Graham.

        • jesterpunk

          Then Miss Lindsay will get up from her fainting couch to ask for aid.

    • SayItWithWookies

      Gee — you mean Cruz and Cornyn voted yes, even if the bill had no offsets, which was their objection when voting for Sandy aid? Texans should send them postcards thanking them for having such conditional integrity.

      • jesterpunk

        This one affected them personally.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      I guess Arizona is pretty smug about hurricanes.

    • proudgrampa

      Are you fucking kidding me?

      • jesterpunk

        Your surprised republicans voted against these bills?

        • proudgrampa

          I guess I hoped they would have a little more humanity…

          I was wrong.

  • Jamoche
    • Beanz&Berryz

      She tore her own leg off… Badass….

      • Sheepshagger

        Must be someone nearby who deserves to be beaten. It’s congress after all.

        • willi0000000

          suggestion, Tammy . . . next time someone deserves a beating use their leg!

    • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

      Give ’em hell, Tammy.

    • Moebym of the Returners

      “Oops, broke my leg. No biggie, I’ll just reattach it. BRB.”

    • Msgr_MΩment

      My third favorite Thai-American badass, after my two nieces.

      • AngelaHMejia

        my classmate’s sister-in-law makes $61 /hour on the laptop . She has been out of a job for eight months but last month her check was $20437 just working on the laptop for a few hours. more info here

        http://www.jobshostproductsplay

        ❖❖❖❖❖❖❖❖❖❖❖❖❖❖❖❖❖❖❖❖❖❖❖❖❖❖❖❖❖❖❖❖❖❖❖❖❖❖❖❖❖❖❖❖❖❖❖❖❖❖❖❖❖❖❖❖::::da253..

    • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

      Is that a “Joe Walsh” shirt of some kind?

    • proudgrampa

      Damn! That is awesome…

    • OddMan

      Long ago as a Engineering grad student, I worked as a Prosthetic Technician, helping make legs and arms for people that needed them.

      Let me tell you it fucking hurts to learn to walk on a stump. I saw people cry learning how.
      It was awe inspiring.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Well, of fucking course this happened:

    https://twitter.com/DJBentley/status/905921642953572352

    • Beanz&Berryz

      That’s bad….

    • SayItWithWookies

      The guardians of your credit ratings, everyone — because integrity means everything, unless they stand to lose a shitload of money.

      • shivaskeeper

        They aren’t the guardians of anything. They are unelected and unappointed. Their entire business model is based on you paying them to make sure the data they collect on you is correct.

        • This. After my mom passed these fucks kept claiming her debt was mine. But the could fix that for x dollars. I told them to get bent and fix it ori will sue a bitch.
          And that is why i just git my first credit card. Grifting fuckers

      • Rags

        The Ashley Madison of Internet security

    • Shanzgood

      Fuckers.

    • bubbuhh

      Equifax execs dint know stock salez wud show up on their credit report

    • Beanz&Berryz

      Nothing like turning a 1-2 yr stock option value hit into prison time. THAT’S some smrts…

    • Rick Hill

      Doan worry. trumpco has a fix. They’ll ensure that there will be no need to report any breaches in security. Problem solved.

    • yyyaz

      I’m so old I can remember when assholes like this went to prison.

      • Snopes Shop

        Matrha Stewart

    • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time
    • Rebel Scum with permit

      Insider trading laws are for the little people.

    • jesterpunk

      How long until Trump nominates them for a job with the treasury department?

      • willi0000000

        SEC!

    • Wolf Tracker

      That will get them a visit from the FTC I am sure.

  • bubbuhh

    “Young man” shows there is hope for USA’s future.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yvhgmNzOXuU

    • janecita

      That girl is fucking awesome!!

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        Typical wingnuts. They’ll destroy the world and lock up anyone who isn’t white, but they get all offended by someone swearing.

        • Bobathonic

          They get all offended at someone else having free speech.

    • Bananas Foster

      Read to your children.

      They’ll use those words later.

    • She’s identifying fucking idiots at a college level already!

    • Three Finger Salute

      Doesn’t Coca-Cola have grounds to sue whoever made that RWNJ T-shirt with the iconic Coke font?

  • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

    “Donald Trump Jr. told Senate investigators … it was important to learn about Mrs. Clinton’s “fitness” to be president.”

    Right. Because having been First Lady, twice, a fucking Senator and Secretary of State, during which time she was investigated a gazillion times with no criminal wrong-doing ever discovered, left beg questions about her “fitness” for office.

    Now, Jr, let’s talk about Daddy …

  • Gerald Parks

    Was there enough fire fighters and their equipment to put this boy’s pants fire out? What did they do about the smoke? Large fans?
    Hummmm …shit just got real….again!

  • natoslug

    Please go to jail forever and ever, Donald J Jr.. Do not pass go. Do not collect anything. And take your con artist siblings and father with you.

    • Skwerl the Nazi Puncher

      More like con dilettantes

      • Rasilom

        Yeah, I’ve seen 4 year old finger painters with more artistic ability….

    • I’m okay with the max term of 5 years (for this) provided he loses all his ill gotten gains (which would be all of his gains, ever) before he gets out.

      • willi0000000

        if he gets five per count he won’t be out until the last proton decays.

  • La forza del resistino

    After talking to Congress, Donnie Jr’s people ask about available Russian dacha sublets and if extradition laws apply.

  • willi0000000

    to the following questions:

    – what is your name?

    – what is your quest?

    – what is your favorite color?

    [ unfortunately the guy at the bridge was on break ]

    • Count Awesome

      “What’s your favorite color of your favorite car?”

      • willi0000000

        “silver . . . why do you ask?”
        -w0

  • Rick Hill

    Not that there’s cause for alarm but it’s now a sharkanne. Or would that be shurikane?
    https://img-9gag-fun.9cache.com/photo/a05oEPd_700b.jpg

    • Jamoche

      Spoof site. Too bad, I have friends who are Sharknado fans.

      • Rick Hill

        Just because it’s a joke doesn’t mean it can’t be troo!

      • NotReallyHere

        Yeah I had to look it up. I mean Trump just made a deal with the Democrats, and is bragging about it. So… hurricane with sharks sounds completely plausible, because this universe has gone totally screwy.
        http://www.snopes.com/hurricane-irma-now-contains-sharks/

        • jesterpunk

          You mean someone would lie on the interwebs?

          • NotReallyHere

            I know, can you believe it. Where did I put those pearls?

    • Wolf Tracker

      I just hope CNN stops calling it a Nuclear storm since there is a nuclear power plant in the path.

  • Sheepshagger

    This is the lowest quality criminal conspiracy I’ve ever seen. And I’ve seen guys who tunnelled under a water treatment plant fence to steal the impellers valued at a hundred grand and then scrapped them for two hundred dollars. With their own drivers license for ID.

    • mancityRed6

      or scrapping manhole covers with the city’s name stamped in them with their real licenses.

      • Rebel Scum with permit

        You beat me. Must be a common stupid criminal trick.

        • mancityRed6

          it happens more than you might think.

          • Rags

            I was in Athens a few years ago and around the abandoned Olympic venues (sad enough in their own right), all of the utility covers had also been stolen out of the sidewalks.

          • Sheepshagger

            Drunken discus athletes are a menace.

    • Maybe

      The gang that couldn’t shoot straight, revisited.

    • Rebel Scum with permit

      The guys that tried to sell the manhole covers to the local scrap yard that had “City of —” written on them.

    • Rebel Scum with permit

      Stealing manhole covers doesn’t require much effort- tunneling under a water treatment plant for 200.00 worth of scrap metal- Crom, people here have the best stories.

      • Sheepshagger

        Meth is a very motivational drug.

        • Rebel Scum with permit

          It does keep people busy.

        • Bitter Scribe

          If they would just do regular jobs with the energy they brought to this caper, they could probably afford all the meth they want.

    • It is, truly, Stupid Watergate

      • Résistance Land Shark Ω

        StupidGate™ (you heard it first, I pass all rights to our lovely Editrix)

      • Tbh watergate was a bungling cluster fuck also

    • natoslug

      Really hoping that the firefighter gear stolen the other day in Brookings has the county name on it, and whomever stole it tries to pawn it. I’m also hoping that the pawn broker would contact the firefighters and let them retrieve it from the thief, perhaps letting them discuss the errors of his ways, but only because I am a bad human being.

  • Jeff Ackerman

    Maybe Don Jr. can learn to sing
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yRM9QtixFuQ

  • SayItWithWookies
    • The Wanderer

      Gotta hand it to the flight crew. That took balls.

      • Rebel Scum with permit

        And the passengers. That had to have been a wild ride. The drink service was abbreviated.

        • willi0000000

          they just passed out whole bottles.

          [ . . . and not those silly “nips” ]

    • Wolf Tracker

      Good on them because that takes real bravery to risk your life to get people out.

    • Jamoche
  • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

    Being the 9th Circuit, I’m not sure if this will hold (but a loss for Donnie Drama is nice)

    9th Circuit narrows scope of Trump travel ban

    (CNN)The 9th US Circuit Court of Appeals narrowed the scope of President Donald Trump’s travel ban Thursday, ruling that extended family members such as grandparents are exempt from the ban, as well as a certain class of refugees, while the legality of the ban is under review.

    The ruling changes the status quo, as it allows a group of refugees with contractual commitments from resettlement organizations to come into the country.

    • Skwerl the Nazi Puncher

      How is this still an issue? The ban ended after 90 days.

      • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

        this is the rewritten ban? I’d have to go find the opinion.

  • La forza del resistino

    The last time Donald didn’t call him a ‘good boy’ is when he caught Jr in Ivanka’s lingerie drawer.

    • natoslug

      Donald Sr. thought he was the only one to go through and sniff Ivanka’s lingerie?

    • Rags

      ‘The last time Donald didn’t call him a ‘good boy’ is when he caught Jr in Ivanka’s lingerie.’ FIFY

      • NeoliberalBanksterCaptainHowdy

        ‘The last time Donald called him a ‘good boy’ is when he caught Jr in Ivanka’s lingerie.’

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸

    Something something unelected liberal activist judges or something
    https://twitter.com/thehill/status/905928184314687488

    • Wolf Tracker

      “A three-judge panel of the 9th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals ruled unanimously on Thursday that the Trump administrations travel ban could not deny grandparents, aunts, uncles and other extended family members an exemption to travel into the United States.”

      I am pretty sure the travel ban will expire before SCOTUS makes a decision so they avoided throwing out the ban as unconstitutional.

      • yyyaz

        Ban on visitors expires 9/27, on refugees 10/27, according to WaPo. Given that SCOTUS convenes on 10/2, any decision it reaches will be after the whole package expires.

        • Wolf Tracker

          That’s what I thought. The Rep SCOTUS majority just didn’t want to say Trump’s first ex order was unconstitutional and let him save face.

        • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

          I think I found the answer in a comment above.

    • hudson

      this guy has no instinct or interest for what makes america really work.let’s get that out right away.

  • The Wanderer

    OT:
    Well, fuck me in the ass cuz I love Jesus, but H Irma’s track just stutter-stepped to the west, which means the eye will not skirt the Atlantic coast but make landfall in the upper Keys just SW of the Miami area, then go straight up the peninsula (predicted to be due south of Lake Okeechobee by Monday).

    • Sheepshagger

      Carl Hiassen better tie himself to the bridge now.

      • The Wanderer

        I’m sure there’s a lot of corrupt politicians in the Miami area who’d love to tie him to a bridge. Starting with Rubio.

    • NeoliberalBanksterCaptainHowdy

      Is . . . there . . . some church I can go to, I mean how does that work? Not that I’m lonely or anything.

      • The Wanderer

        I still have to turn in my ordination papers for the Church of the Subgenius.

    • Wolf Tracker

      Hate to say it but I said yesterday it looked like a bowling ball spin and might go south and into the gulf headed at Louisiana.

      It is traveling too fast for any major deflection.

      • The Wanderer

        But it wobbles like a top, so there is still a probability.

        • Wolf Tracker

          If the Cuba cliffs slow it down maybe but the rotation of that spin is going to keep it hugging to the left.

          Sorry and I am not in any way weather predictor. That is just my bowling perspective.

          • The Wanderer

            Cuba’s mountains might apply a bit of English.

          • Wolf Tracker

            Now we can get into pool analogies and yes if that cliff face is rough enough the storm might kick out.

          • efoveks

            You know…. Florida DOES bear a resemblance to a bowling pin. :P

      • willi0000000

        there’s an upper-level high pressure ridge that’s guiding Irene . . . you can’t see it on normal maps but it might show up on The Earth Wind Map site.

    • Rebel Scum with permit

      It could still wobble and change course, right?

      • The Wanderer

        Yeah, still a probability.

    • Shanzgood

      Fuck. My bestie is headed toward Tallahassee right now. He and his mom are planning to hunker down at his brother’s, who can’t evacuate because they have horses.

      • The Wanderer

        I’ll get it before they do, so I’m dragging my plywood out of storage.

        • Shanzgood

          Good luck!

        • willi0000000

          possibly an odd question, but . . . why is there a run on plywood at the Home Despot in hurricane hotspots every time there’s a hurricane?

          do people throw it away when the rain stops “because we’ll never need that stuff again!” . . . ?

          • shivaskeeper

            You can only use it so many times before the water destroys it, plus new homes and new owners.

          • willi0000000

            if the water destroys it, you’re buying the wrong kind of plywood.

            and paint will help . . . a lot!

          • shivaskeeper

            Standard indoor sheeting or OSB can only be in the weather for so long. Plus if it’s stored wrong it will end up too warped to use.

            That’s all I can come up with.

          • willi0000000

            marine grade plywood is made with waterproof glue . . . and a couple of coats of paint will keep most of the water out of the wood.

            OSB if they make it with waterproof glue . . . same paint though.

            if you touch up the paint every now and again . . . and don’t store them in standing water . . . they should last for many hurricane seasons.

            some of us weirdos up north even permanently install shutters that can be closed and fastened if a big blow is expected . . . but they are a pain to paint.

          • shivaskeeper

            It should last. For whatever reason it doesn’t, or it gets used for another project along the way.

    • Amy!

      Wow. Irma has Harvey envy, and wants to be the most devastating appearance of the season? That track is seriously scary. Rated still a tropical storm by the time it hits east Tennessee?

  • Ezio

    Who knew in 2017 I’d be finding out that there are people who believe phrenology is legit.

    • I prefer retrophrenology. I hit your head in specific spots to change your personality

    • Three Finger Salute

      Also astrology, Scientology, and numerology. Among other -ologies that have nothing to do with logic. Including tautologies.

      But not climate change, evolution, or neuroscience. Congrats humans. You failed. Bigly. I’m getting so tired of this, we’re failing all the time.

  • Thiazin Red

    Another positive for the recent-ish Doctor Who series, the music is noticeably less intrusive. Bill and Clara are now tied for most stylish companion. Clara’s outfits are more my style, but Bill has some good taste in clothes.

    I like what they’re doing with 12 too. The ending of episode 3 makes it pretty clear whats in the box, so now its a question of how did they get there.

    On episode 4, come on kids have none of you ever seen a damn movie!

    • Royal Ugly Globalist Dude

      I would totally rent a room in a haunted house from David Suchet.

  • mancityRed6

    what if Chuck Norris was just 4 years early with his “1,000 years of darkness” thing?

  • CO
  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Tell us, NYT link, are the wingnuts who are pissed at Donald for making a deal with Chuck and Nancy about to get even more pissed?

    Trump Reaches Out to Make More Deals With Congressional Democrats

    President Trump pursued his newfound alignment with congressional Democrats on Thursday as he called the party’s leaders in hopes of striking more deals and even complied with a request to publicly reassure younger immigrants brought to the country illegally not to worry about imminent deportation…

    Mr. Trump told reporters after the calls that the deal may signal a new era of bipartisanship. “I think we will have a different relationship than we’ve been watching over the last number of years. I hope so,” he said. “I think that’s a great thing for our country. And I think that’s what the people of the United States want to see. They want to see some dialogue. They want to see coming together to an extent.”

    That freakout you hear is coming from the Breitbart wing of the GOP. Hee hee hee…

    • Everrett Fanuelli

      Pretty good strategy by the Dems. Knowing that Donald is an empty vessel who can be persuaded easily, they took advantage.

      • Also, Nancy and Chuck are fucking great at their jobs

        • jesterpunk

          But I thought we should replace them with younger people because reasons?

          • willi0000000

            you spelled “treasons” wrong.

      • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

        Let’s not get cocky. We have no fucking idea what is actually going on here. Think Charlie Brown + Lucy + football.

    • jesterpunk

      So all Dems need to do is make sure reporters are around so Trump gets positive coverage and they can get anything they want?

      • willi0000000

        yup . . . but listen to Pickwick (above) and be sure to send Nancy and Chuck . . . or someone like Elizabeth . . . cause we don’t need some stupid D laying down on the job and accepting some shit deal just to get small potatoes for himself.

      • DrBigHead

        Pretty much

      • shivaskeeper

        This is not really news. He really does crave the adulation. That is why he has been so confused by the Comey firing backlash and now the DACA backlash. He’s backpedaling for the ratings, not because he was wrong.

        • jesterpunk

          He was mad that his pardon of Sheriff Joe didnt get hire ratings then a hurricane.

    • Dear nyt it is not a deal when one side gets everything they want.

  • Ginnie Sack

    Does anyone in the Trump family have normal lips?

  • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

    I’m skimming the 9th Circuit muslim ban order.

    As far as I can tell – this is a modification of a temporary restraining order preventing parts of it from being enforced (i.e. keeping certain people out).

    For those wondering why this is still an issue, here’s a footnote:

    The President issued a memorandum that changed the effective date of the Executive Order and directed the relevant agencies to “begin implementation of each relevant provision of sections 2 and 6 of the Executive Order 72 hours after all applicable injunctions are lifted or stayed with respect to that provision.” Effective Date in Executive Order 13780, 82 Fed. Reg. 27965, 27966 (June 14, 2017).

    • Wolf Tracker

      Rep SCOTUS should have ruled it unconstitutional and upheld lower court decision but they put off the decision just long enough to let the ban run out so Trump could save face on his first big ex order.

      • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

        that’s what i’m saying, at least the revised order quote above sounds like it won’t actually go into place (and therefore expire) until any injunctions are lifted.

  • Amelia Resists and Persists

    Lindsey Graham voted against the hurricane aid bill in the Senate today. I guess SOMEbody’s confident Irma won’t make it to South Carolina.

    • WeaselPoo

      But of course he’ll demand some of needed…because real America.

    • Amy!

      Storm tracks I’ve seen have it landfalling this weekend in Savannah, GA (which is right on the border with SC) and rolling right up into the low country. I think the dapper Senator is deranged.

  • La forza del resistino

    Once all the Florida men evacuate, with luck, the gators will eat their remaining handguns.

    • Martini Ambassador 🍸

      Or instead of eating them they could stockpile an arsenal. Armed gators? That would be very Florida.

      • Msgr_MΩment

        They need the protection against Sharknado.

        • Three Finger Salute

          I heard it’s up to Hurriquakenukenado levels now.

      • altleftjohn

        Stand your swamp.

    • DrBigHead

      Think of all the “Florida man on the road” stories we are going to hear!

    • mancityRed6

      what will this do the bath salt supply?

    • Red Bird

      My friend is a Florida man. He’s in Tampa and says it’s still okay out there.

    • data_ninja
  • Ezio

    It’s rather ironic how Alex Jones, who has spent his life claiming how he is so unlike “mainstream media” seems to have no problem buying into the old “when it’s white people it’s survival but when it’s black people it’s looting”.

    Story: Alex Jones spreads fake news about black gang of hurricane Harvey “looters”.
    http://www.rawstory.com/2017/09/revealed-alex-jones-and-tucker-carlson-spread-racist-fake-news-about-black-harvey-looters/

    • Three Finger Salute

      IOKIYAWG

      “It’s ok if you’re a white guy”

  • Lyly Sirivong

    Reservoir Dogs, the bunny version.

    https://vimeo.com/232901724

    • Jamoche

      Wrong video, that’s “30 Days of Night”. Auto-next fail?

      • Lyly Sirivong

        Don’t know. Probably. Vimeo is weird. It should be corrected now.

    • Three Finger Salute

      So.. why not just call it Reservoir Bunnies?

      • data_ninja

        Now you’re just splitting hares.

      • Lyly Sirivong

        You’re right, they missed a goos joke. But then if they had to insert bunnies in the title of all their parodies, it would be very confusing. They wouldn’t be able to differentiate their bunny parody of the Fly and their bunny parody of the Exorcist.

  • natoslug

    Why do I always read Donnie Jr’s name as Donald J. Jr.-Jr.?

  • Rick Hill

    Soap…back to square one with having shop help. Guy in the building, him and his wife run an Ebay bidness. Showed up at my door, I had mentioned needing help while he was nearby. Anyhoo, he asked if he could work part time. sure thing, says I. Thing is, work was not something he really wanted to do. I’m at a point of needing help and haven’t tried to line anyone else up, because he said he was available.

  • janecita

    How do you say “hypocrisy,” “drug family,” and “douche bag,” in Filipino?

    Philippine President Duterte’s son denies drugs role – http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-asia-41189557

    • Three Finger Salute

      See if his wife hoards Ivanka’s crappy shoes.

    • Lord Jim

      I’ve always felt that Duterte’s murder spree was more about killing potential opposition or just plain political terrorism.

  • hvdv

    I hope he and papa get to be cell mates.

  • Les Appentis De la résistance

    I don’t want an obstruction of justice charge, I want them in jail for all their financial and treason crimes.

    • Wolf Tracker

      That comes later from the states that will hit them with RICO charges they can’t be pardoned from.

      • Résistance Land Shark Ω

        And when the IRS is done with the lot of them, they’ll be begging for quarters at the Port Authority Bus Terminal.

  • Ezio

    Ya know how sometimes you’ll see magazine or newspaper articles titled “How Mllennials are killing….”? Well after that Tomi Lahren news today, all I have to ask is, how come nobody ever uses Tomi as the thing millennials are hated for?

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
    • jesterpunk

      Lets see how long republicans can ignore that.

      • stubbornirishlass

        Oh, ye of little faith…

    • ariel_gee_398

      Supposing some of these dumb fucks go to jail, would it be a constitutional violation to pipe in audio of the rally crowds chanting “lock her up” for 23 hours a day?

      • Jamoche

        Didn’t they already decide that’s OK, back when they did that to some holed-up dictator?

      • Shanzgood

        I think they should use that song Darryl was tortured with in TWD.

        https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=IkI42TbTITc

      • Persistent Demme

        Evil genius!

    • Beanz&Berryz

      Sometimes it’s what you don’t say…

  • IdiokraticCulturalMarxist
    • bluicebank

      I have a sneaking feeling that the War on Christmas will be postponed this year.

      Just when we were winning.

  • BadKitty904
    • Résistance Land Shark Ω

      Jeebus Fucking Shartdancing Christ! They’re not even hiding their taint licking.

      • BadKitty904

        Every time the Republicans are not challenged on these crimes by the Dems/voters/taxpayers makes them that much more inclined to do it again. Each act of treachery that’s unchallenged confirms that there’s no one to stop them – they can do whatever they want.

        • Résistance Land Shark Ω

          And it also provides lots of evidence of collusion. One would hope some inspired attorney in the DOJ wants to make her/his name …

          • BadKitty904

            Or the majority of America votes/taxpayers, who are NOT represented by the current Congress, can get off our asses and do something about this. These criminals don’t sit in Congress by divine right.

          • Three Finger Salute

            “Or the majority of America votes/taxpayers, who are NOT represented by the current Congress, can get off our asses and do something about this.”

            What exactly? Torches and pitchforks has a nazty connotation after the Tiki Riots. Voting is of course important, but not enough if the votes are going to get 1) thrown out, 2) denied, and/or 3) gerrymandered to the point where it doesn’t matter who you vote for, a Republican gets in.

            We don’t want to be associated with the stigma of violence either.

          • Persistent Demme

            Maybe some of these Reps. are close to you.
            swingleft.org

          • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

            I’m pretty sure votes was at least *part* of what BK was saying. The rest might be demonstrations? Writing legisltors, etc?

          • Three Finger Salute

            Demonstrations are good, as long as they’re peaceful. But there’s always the potential for violence in crowds, and infiltrators who stir up shit for media attention. I remain convinced that antifa or black block or whatever it’s called are either controlled opposition, or just immature morons who want to LARP as “revolutionaries.” Not everyone can make it to the protest march, which would be where writing your rep comes in. But, there’s only so much that they can do as long as they’re in the minority, which becomes a catch-22 if voting itself becomes futile and the resistance party is always in the minority.

            The Republican Party has been the natural governing party of the United States for the bulk of the 20th century (or at least the post-WW2 era), and will be soon for the first two decades of the 21st. Whether that’s through cheating, psy-opping or just because America leans more to the right because it wants to be a dickish outlier, remains to be seen. But, we’re running out of straws to grab — and yet I don’t want to see any spillover into mass bloodshed. I worry though that that’s where it’ll head anyway because people are growing frustrated and things only seem to be getting worse.

          • BadKitty904

            I honestly don’t know. But I do know that these criminals sit in Congress because WE let them.

            I know you’re not suggesting that “doing nothing” is America’s only option, but I fear we’re going to have to be less concerned about “connotations” and “stigmas” if we’re going to save our nation while there’s any of it left to save.

          • Three Finger Salute

            Punching Nazis backfires and only increases the muscle and scrutiny that the relevant authorities would place on the resistance, more than they have already. Self-defense is only considered if the Nazi directly punches you first. The abstract concept of “a boot on your face for all eternity” isn’t considered to be a valid “act of violence.” At least not under the law. If someone is willing to go to prison as a “martyr” of sorts, that’s up to them. The rest of us should stick to nonviolent solutions always.

          • BadKitty904

            I’m certainly no advocate of violence if there’s any other viable solution. It is must always be the LAST resort – Ultima Ratio Regum.

          • Permit-holder Ron

            Not yet, anyway.

          • BadKitty904

            Not as long as We the People won’t let them. We put a stop to that kinda thing in 1776 and can do so again, if need be.

        • OutOfOrbit

          and your point is … ? …

    • Lord Jim

      So, we can’t afford to feed old people or poor schoolkids, but we can make room to funnel some money to the Grifter-In-Chief.

      Fiscal conservatism at its finest.

      • BadKitty904

        The Republican Party, lock, stock, and barrel.

    • Permit-holder Ron

      So how does Donnie’s ass taste today, boys?

  • II Gosala

    Korea, Harvey, Irma, the debt ceiling, Uday,… there’s a lot going on.

    Aand, there’s shenanigans going on unnoticed

    H.R. 620 would weaken the Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA), a critical source of rights for people with disabilities to architectural access in public accommodations—that is, businesses such as stores, restaurants, hotels, etc.

    https://dredf.org/hr620/

    • ariel_gee_398

      What a coincidence – Barry signed a big update to the ADA during his term.

    • jesterpunk

      Wow from the bill. Anyone who files a complaint has to specify what parts of the ADA the business violated and how long the barrier is meant to be there.

      https://www.congress.gov/bill/115th-congress/house-bill/620

      The bill prohibits civil actions based on the failure to remove an architectural barrier to access into an existing public accommodation unless: (1) the aggrieved person has provided to the owners or operators a written notice specific enough to identify the barrier, and (2) the owners or operators fail to provide the person with a written description outlining improvements that will be made to improve the barrier or they fail to remove the barrier or make substantial progress after providing such a description. The aggrieved person’s notice must specify: (1) the address of the property, (2) the specific ADA sections alleged to have been violated, (3) whether a request for assistance in removing an architectural barrier was made, and (4) whether the barrier was permanent or temporary.

      • Rebel Scum with permit

        Ok I’m not a Fan of anything this administration is doing but I do know of several small business owners who were served ADA law suits. At least in California, there are A few people who go door to door, with their attorneys, measure older buildings, in many cases don’t even attempt to use the business or facilities, then sue and settle. It’s become a cottage industry.
        This happened to my hairdresser. He was a tenant. He was served with a lawsuit because he happened to be in the building. Landlord said “sucks to be you”. My hairdressers attorney said he could settle for a few thousand, or spend several thousand and a few years and eventually win. He settled and found a new building.
        I have a disability and I don’t want to see access denied to anyone, but there are people out there who don’t seem to be resolving ADA issues in any kind of good faith.

        • Three Finger Salute

          Yeah, unfortunately there’s always ambulance chasers, lawsuit trolls and loudmouths who exploit their status for a quick buck and some press attention — and end up harming other people in the process. I feel this way about the Jerry Lewis protestors. I don’t care about their stupid “movement” or their diseasemongering opposition to a cure for a horrible disease. If I had the money I’d give to MDA.

          • Rebel Scum with permit

            It hurts everyone. If you see an older building with a sign that says ” no public restroom” it’s probably because they’ve been sued, and rather than make thousands of dollars worth of alterations (because now they may have to meet new building code standards) they simply decide not to offer restrooms to anyone.

    • WeaselPoo

      ” We’re fucked” said Tiny Tim, we’re fucked, every one. Goddammit!

  • Picabo

    My outrage meter just broke again. Not to worry, I have plenty of replacements.
    “Ark Encounter Receives $1.8 Million Tax Rebate Check from Kentucky”
    http://www.patheos.com/blogs/friendlyatheist/2017/09/07/ark-encounter-receives-1-8-million-tax-rebate-check-from-kentucky/

    • Beanz&Berryz

      Jesus fucking Christ….

    • jesterpunk

      Damn replied to the wrong comment.

      • Jamoche

        That’s not how the ADA works. You complain (“it takes 10 seconds on crutches to get from the badge reader to the door, which locks after 5 seconds”). They jump.

        Without the “they jump” part, you might as well go through normal Facilities, which might get round to it about the time you’re off crutches.

        • jesterpunk

          Yeah, they are removing all the penalties and making it harder to file any ADA claims. (I meant to reply to II Gosala right below you but somehow disqus moved the thread)

          • Jamoche

            I will sic my friend the Wonder Admin on them (she actually filed the ticket, because our help system sucked). Her followup: “And I keep borrowing a crutch to beat them with until they jump high enough.”

    • Permit-holder Ron

      I would have loved to stand up and say, ‘NOAH didn’t need tax rebates, why do you?’
      They’re already a drain on the local economy,. this just nails the lid shut.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Much better than any of Donald’s covers:

    https://twitter.com/HillaryWarnedUs/status/905769492080406528

  • My landlady says she’ll be out to check out the property as soon as Irma is over. Guess it would be too much to ask for her to do anything about the part of the roof that’s already damaged before the hurricane.

    • II Gosala

      If the roof is compromised, and if you are anywhere in the cone, and if you can, get out.

      After the foundation, the roof is the most important part of the structure.

    • Sophia

      If your roof is damaged already I hope you are leaving. The wind will take the rest of it off and then the walls fall down as there is nothing holding them up. I’m serious, if you can’t get out for some reason you need to find a better place.

    • AnnieGetYerFun

      Girl, drive to Seattle if you need to. We have room.

  • Hurrah! My band’s CD came back from press and it looks (and sounds) awesome! Now I have to wait ’til the release date to get ’em out there!

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/9e0b282e7b3f2d8b7bb517cfc14bf4215a0090faa9ce6e4921e688b0e0ff9467.jpg

    • And where can i purchase this strange plastic disc?

      • Well, it’s not out ’til the 22nd, but it will be on iTunes and like Amazon/Google music etc, so you don’t have to bother with the CD, we just wanted physical discs for shows etc. (they will be available online as well…)

        We don’t have a Toronto date lined up at the moment (haven’t played Toronto in over a year), but I’ll let you know when we have one!

        • Anything farther South? London or KW?

          • Oshawa, Barrie, Montreal and Peterborough are the only booked ones at the moment, but we’ll be expanding as much as possible… Singer just had a kid, so his wife isn’t letting him out to play that often.

          • Kids ruin everything. (Mostly kidding, stop throwing things at me!)

          • I’m finding it hard not to agree with you, all things considered :P

          • Friends having kids is one of the reasons i am not at TIFF right now. My own money is a bigger reason, but the babby is also one

          • Permit-holder Ron

            I was wondering about that. Has to suck, and not in the good way.

          • Sophia

            If you get further south let us know. I could do the London, maybe KW area as well.

          • SW Ont needs better music besides
            “My back still aches when I heard the word Tillsonburg”

          • Danny Michel lives in between Guelph and Kitchener…he’s my favourite local dude

          • De-tasselled corn there (and around the Niagara Escarpment) summer of ’82…a billion years ago.

          • AJ Milne

            (Looks around nervously…)

            I… Ummm…

            I’ve never really dug Stompin’ T….HEY PUT ME DOWN!!! DEPORTED?!!! SERIOUSLY?!! GUY KNEW LIKE TWO CHOR…. (thunk)

        • Zippy W Pinhead

          you should do CD Baby also too

          • Actually, CD Baby is who we went through for our digital distribution, so they’ll have physical discs as well.

          • Zippy W Pinhead

            cool, lots of peeps have had good luck with them. Make sure to get on reverbnation too

          • Definitely already on Reverb Nation. For sure.

    • Lord Jim

      Is that an Ibanez Iceman I spy trying to hide in the curtains?

      • It most certainly is! Tribute to our late guitarist, that was what he played.

        • Lord Jim

          Ibanez builds great guitars. I own one,

  • Michael R

    .
    someone probably already posted this but …

    Equifax executives dumped $1.8M in stocks before news of their hack went public

    http://www.rawstory.com/2017/09/equifax-executives-dumped-1-8m-in-stocks-before-news-of-their-hack-went-public-report/

  • WeaselPoo

    Past experience tells me that just before or during or just after this hurricane Florida Man is going to shoot something or someone or some animal or himself or 3 put of the four, for some stupid Florida reason. An ATV or jet ski might feature in it somewhere.

    • jesterpunk
      • WeaselPoo

        Yeah..no…not Florida enough. imho.

    • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

      already done – there’s a headline on RawStory I think about a dude pulling a weapon over gas.

      • Lord Jim

        An armed society is a polite society.

        • WeaselPoo

          To be forearmed is to…be. .having something connecting elbows and wrists? Now i feel stupid.

        • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

          A sensible policy for a better America.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Keep
      Florida
      Man
      Great
      Again

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
    • Lord Jim
      • nanuq1

        Look at those fangs.

        • Lord Jim

          The better to eat you with, my dear, heh heh heh…

    • BadKitty904

      Unfortunately, as long as the Republicans control Congress, Trump will never be impeached.

    • II Gosala

      Well, I am a huge fan of Robert Reich, but I think he’s reaching with the freedom of the press thing.

      Also I think he missed a couple of things:

      1) Trump is not merely in violation of the enrollments clause. In his dealings with Russia he is (allegedly!) involved in actually criminal activity;

      2) The overall reach of his business interests creates a conflict of interest between his business interests and his duty as president that, in light of his refusal to put his assets in a genuine blind trust, amounts to a high crime even if no specific crime can be proved.

      But he is absolutely right that impeachment and conviction are political, not legal, acts, and unless Congress is flipped (or Republicans feel a real threat to their offices) nothing will happen.

  • House0fTheBlueLights
  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    OFFS…but now I know why Donald doesn’t dare show up in the Golden State:

    https://twitter.com/AllanMargolin/status/905933702701752322

    • mancityRed6

      he is just not smart at all.
      in before “slime mold libelz”

    • jesterpunk

      “But Harvey has better ratings, most people dont know about Harvey’s fantastic ratings.”

      • Villago Delenda Est

        Irma’s ratings are going to be better. For one thing, Florida! For another thing, more states!

      • Three Finger Salute

        In that case he was actually talking about his tanning-salon buddy at TMZ.

    • hudson

      2 words. fuck him.

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸

    OMG, you guyze! An article about our favorite cartoonist (to mock) Ben Garrison! For some reason, white supremacists love him. Even though he’s totally not racist or anything!
    https://twitter.com/JuddLegum/status/905868144840978434

    • Resistance Fighter Callyson

      I see Ben Carson, Betsy DuVos, Steve Mnuchin and Wilber Ross. That’s who the cartoonists meant to portray as swamp creatures, right?

      • IdiokraticCulturalMarxist

        He actually included McCain as a swamp creature.

        • WotsAllThisThen

          And Hillary – did anyone tell him she isn’t President?

        • willi0000000

          one in a row is, at least, a start.

    • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

      Amazing artwork for 1938.

    • Blackest Noobs

      uh what the fuck is this cartoonist thinking? Trump has done the fucking opposite.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        Well, all of Donald’s drooling deplorables think that Donald is draining the swamp, while in reality he’s opening up new subdivisions of it.

        • Blackest Noobs

          shit! he is already building shitty condos in the swamp

        • Lord Jim

          He’s piping in sludge.

    • WotsAllThisThen

      So the FBI is the bad guys in this story? And white supremacists the good guys… kind of a reverse Mississippi Burning…

    • data_ninja

      Does the article include an explanation for each of his comics? Because seriously, we need rosetta stone shit level decodings of his stuff.

      • Skwerl the Nazi Puncher

        He actually explains them on his blog… In rant form.

        • TootsStansbury

          Ack. No thanks I don’t want to go near those broke brains.

        • data_ninja

          So, what you’re saying is that I’m never going to find out, cuz I sure as hell ain’t soiling my browser history with that thing.

      • Kiri the Unicorn

        *nods* We need a illustrated field guide to right-wing bugaboos and bêtes-noire.

      • H0mer0

        It’s there, in the background,the Rothschilds, Soros, in other words, the JEWS–IT’S ALWAYS THE JEWS!!
        sn

      • Brian Fowler

        I think Swamp Thing is coming after Trump for duping toxic sewage in their swamp.

    • Dudleydidwrong

      Ben Dover Garrison can sure draw him some nice colored pitchers. I guess that art skool he went to–the one in the ad on the inside of the book of matches–taught that boy somethin’ special. Too bad nothin’ makes sense.

    • Kiri the Unicorn

      Amazing. He thinks Pizzagate is actually a thing.

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        He found Schrödinger’s basement

        • willi0000000

          the holiday decorations both are and are not down there . . . until you go down there to look.

          [ careful, if you don’t find them you may have just created Schrödinger’s attic ]

    • Skwerl the Nazi Puncher

      Wow. It’s like their is a weird conspiracy with everyone who is not a Trump supporter involved.

    • TJ Barke

      I love how these simpletons still think he is draining anything…

      • willi0000000

        well . . . he is draining the Secret Service budget.

      • Three Finger Salute

        Except Americans’ energy and patience.

    • Three Finger Salute

      So Scott Adams is the alt-right’s second-favorite white-supremacist cartoonist?

      Personally, I miss Sparky Schultz and Bill Watterson.

    • AJ Milne

      Whether he likes it or not? Because Captain Subtle’s explicitly loading the background with Rothschilds and Bilderbergers and Soros was just, hey, he liked how it rolled off the pen?

      • therblig

        and pepe is just a freewheeling, freedom and fun loving frog. he really is seriously deranged, but i guess it pays the mortgage.

      • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

        every. cartoon. has those two. every. one.

      • Three Finger Salute

        The Build-a-Burger Workshop? Is that like a spinoff of some kids’ toy fair sponsored by Arby’s or something?

    • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

      yup, I knew it – there’s the bilderberg and rothschilds behind it all, as usual with Ben.

      (and of course, Trump is looking fit…although that swamp maybe too big for his tiny…hose)

    • Rebel Scum with permit

      Are the drawings of Trump with six pack abs some kind of symbolism, homoerotic fantasy, or does the guy have vision problems?

    • Brian Fowler

      Is this guy NOT aware that Trump is 72 years old? He draws Trump younger than most of Trump’s hellspawn.

      • Three Finger Salute

        Horseshoe theory… ask the Bernbrats if they’re aware that their immortal revolutionary hero would be 80 years old if he ran for president next time around. But Pelosi is too old to remain House minority leader?

    • wait! what?

      The NSA is a top? I’m not buying it. The CIA a bottom? Duh…

    • redarmyzombie

      I would suggest he take a moment to stop and think about that, were it not for the fact I know he’s incapable of it…

    • Thiazin Red

      TEAM DEEP STATE SWAMP THING! You climb out of that swamp Deep State and kick his ass.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Another so-called moderate Republican (anyone who doesn’t fawn endlessly over Donald = moderate Republican these days) is heading out the door:

    https://twitter.com/jmartNYT/status/905934601125859328

    • TootsStansbury

      The Republican party are the Party against Humanity. They suck. Public enemies numbers one through ten.

      • Three Finger Salute

        To infinity and beyond.

    • Résistance Land Shark Ω

      Is it that they just don’t want to fight for their seat? Don’t want to stand up to a primary-from-the-Kochs or a democrat dragging their voting record out into the light?

  • Ezio
    • Shanzgood

      Fuckin-A

      • OutOfOrbit

        Fuckin-Rite

    • Damn. Nice

    • Good luck putting that on a bumper sticker.

    • Thiazin Red

      Its like every dude who asks why women get so emotional when they talk about sexism, can’t they just be rational like him?

      • Ezio

        I have to be honest, I think South Park is partly to blame for creating a generation of smug white centrist men who think having an opinion means you can’t be intellectual.

        • Thiazin Red

          I still like a lot of the episodes, but between that and their whole “anyone who cares deeply about something is stupid” attitude it gets tiresome.

        • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

          Also too, Family Guy.

          I hate Seth with a vengeance.

          • Oh hell simpsons. How many times is lisa the bummer the downer and to quote bart ” incapable of experiencing joy”?

        • Three Finger Salute

          https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/South_Park_Republican

          This country doesn’t want people to be intellectual.

    • Three Finger Salute

      OK, I’m privileged, I admit that. I’m on dry land and I’m not being punched in the face for using the “wrong” bathroom. But I’m also afraid. Terrified. I know others have more to fear than just social ostracism (including from their own families), but that’s literally my worst fear. More than spiders, snakes or even death. Actually, I welcome death. Physical death more than shunning, social death.

      I wish I had enough money to contribute to aid or help out a cause. Checktivism. But it’d have to be a “neutral” cause. Which, I guess, is “non-political” and the subject of this statement. I’d give to hurricane aid if I could. Planned Parenthood or an AIDS walk? I can’t. Everyone would know where my sentiments are. I don’t have any money to give in the first place, but if I did it’d have to be to an animal shelter. Things having to do with people, that’s… going to get me humiliated.

      I can make cheerful mixtapes. Anyone need a cheerful mixtape?

      • …why would donating to a charity get you humilitlated? But if you cannot afford it, with money instead stand for it in deed and word. Best charity anyway

        • Three Finger Salute

          why would donating to a charity get you humilitlated

          Depends on the charity and whether it, well, deals with a cause that’s “political.” Like Planned Parenthood or an AIDS walk. Something that gets people riled up, vs. something everyone can agree on. Like an animal shelter.

          • 🛶🗣️ Mr Canoehead 🛶🗣️

            Honestly, I wouldn’t mind a cheerful mixtape.

      • Dudleydidwrong

        Even the great J.S. Bach wrote “Komm, Susser Tod,” (Come, Sweet Death) so you’re not alone. But in the meantime what are you going to do? Spend some time volunteering for an organization that needs caring people to care for others in one way or another. No money needed. That is one way to enjoy social life.

        (Sorry for the sermon but you sound too much like me, once upon a time.)

        • Three Finger Salute

          Thanks for the vote of confidence. One of my favorite songs, btw. If only for 1) the subject matter and 2) the somewhat famous modified version at the end of a dystopian anime called Neon Genesis Evangelion, where the world gets engulfed in… orange bodily fluids.

          It all returns to nothing…

          https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b-9fhRh4aPs

  • Moebym of the Returners

    I liked and admired you, Kurt. Your recent passive-aggressiveness w/r/t Hillary and arguing with hurricane scientists about their area of expertise is seriously turning me off.

    https://twitter.com/kurteichenwald/status/905923448970645504

    • Wait. This is the guy who wrote an op ed wanting to punch a smug 3rd party voter. Kurt? Wtf man. Ok for you but no one else?

      • Moebym of the Returners

        I loved him for that. What the hell went wrong?

        • TootsStansbury

          When you get down to it girls suck and are not allowed.

        • Hillary is NOT ALLOWED to ever ever ever say a thing is not entirely her fault. Silly

        • Thiazin Red

          She criticizes the media as much as Sanders in that section, so maybe thats it.

          The no minute abs thing and the pony analogy are so spot on though.

          • Naw pretty sure it is more of the dont make the ponies mad! We need them! Even tho they’d be fine with ignoring minority and womens rights.

    • Shanzgood

      He spelled “internalized misogyny” wrong.

      • Some of his best friends are black

        • wait! what?

          Maybe in the face area, but only on weekends and on special occasions.

    • Bub, the cynical zombie

      I unfollowed him a while back. He really started getting on my nerves, and I’m glad to see I made the correct decision.

  • Bub, the cynical zombie
  • Bananas Foster

    So, once upon a time I mentioned “much younger guy” here. I had a crush, realized he was 12 years younger and decided to step off.

    Except that we’ve continued to flirt for the fucking last, I don’t know, 12 weeks now…

    I’m just going to ask him out for a damn drink. Neither of us are conventional. I know he’s single. I can tell he’s interested beyond merely flirting.

    The only issue is that I suspect he has no idea that I’m that much older than him.

    (He’s almost 30. This is not a gross cradle robbing thing.)

    • My hubby is 24 yrs older than i. Was 20 when we first hooked up. Go for it. It takes work i find but can absolutely work

    • OutOfOrbit

      go for it! GO FOR IT!

    • Skwerl the Nazi Puncher

      Par for the course here. All the kids are dating us olds.

      • Hey trix said that age bracket is only almost old. So there

        • Vincent Ricola

          Middle-old.

      • Résistance Land Shark Ω

        That’s cause us oldes pay for shit. None of that Venmo shit …

        • Bananas Foster

          So true.

    • resisting and persisting

      Hi, you don’t “know” me, but I say: life is short, Dump may yet kill us all…go for it. You’re both adults…see where it goes!

      • Bananas Foster

        That’s pretty much my thinking right now.

        I need to get laid. The world could end tomorrow.

        • OutOfOrbit

          Now you got it right!

    • Sophia

      Go for it.

    • Thiazin Red

      My mother is about 12 years older than her husband, and it seems to be working out well for them.

      • Bananas Foster

        Thank you for that!

        • Résistance Land Shark Ω

          There’s 10 years between me and Ms Land Shark

        • weighmaster

          My 29 year old daughter recently married her 44 year old fiance, no biggie, he’s a good guy.

    • Jenny

      So? He’s old enough to know how shit works. Go for it.

    • willi0000000

      damn! . . . if you were in your eighties we could have had some fun.

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      I dated a 30 year old when I was 45. I wouldn’t tell her how old I was, so she Googled me. The mistake I made was giving her my real last name! ;-)

      PS – she still went out with me, and she was cute as he’ll. I say go for it.

      • Bananas Foster

        I’ve dated much older. I’ve dated a little younger.

        I haven’t dated 12 years younger.

        • Vagenda and Pee-ara

          Yeah, 15 years was my biggest youth swing. I also dated a woman 13 years older. I go both ways!

          • Bananas Foster

            So do I.

            In pretty much every way you can interpret that.

    • jowgajen

      Ok, so I’m gonna say “almost 30” is 28 for the sake of argument. You, then are 40. Which means you are safely in the 1/2 your age + 7 years reasonable dating age zone. Have at it. He’s an adult, so are you.

  • Ezio
    • yyyaz

      Forgot Italy: “Corporations and government must work together.”
      — Il Duce

  • It’s raining where i am, so i am having tea and cookies for dinner

    • As one does

    • OutOfOrbit

      any time is cookies time — w/donuts of course

    • WeaselPoo

      Try tiny cucumber (peppered) sammitches too.

    • ariel_gee_398

      Have you considered the advantages of a nice stout and cookies?

      • I have some ale…not a huge fan of stouts all the time

      • willi0000000

        tried the stout (one of my brothers’ brew) and couldn’t push the cookies down through the foam to get a good dunk.

    • Red Bird

      That special tea?

    • Permit-holder Ron

      Dagnabbit, you’re getting OUR rain again. My poor lawn looks like it was transplanted from Death Valley – and ours is the NICEST lawn on the street.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    The game starts in about half an hour. On that note:

    https://twitter.com/pghgirl15222/status/905940867508310016

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      A friend of mine went to high school with Goodell’s brother. She says Roger is exactly the same person he was then.

      • Peaked in hs eh?

        • Three Finger Salute

          If by HS you mean homeschool, then yeah.

        • alwayspunkindrublic

          She said he was super-ambitious, bland, completely oblique.

  • Résistance Land Shark Ω

    Kitteh selfie … once again, the kitteh did not wish to share the limelight with their human …
    This kitteh had a few teeth extracted three weeks ago. Is now back to his fave food, and is starting to gain back the 2+ pounds he lost.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/aa22da8a2ac99af9e2fdfeee64a9b2434ec5140c4c6b4e7fa3c313882a6e80fd.jpg

    • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

      Artisanal mouse tails in ratatouille?

      You got it.

    • Darlene Underdahl

      I’m glad you realized it was teeth. Some folks, even vets, don’t tumble to that fact and the poor cat can’t talk.

      • Résistance Land Shark Ω

        The wicked bad cat breath was the tip off.

    • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

      “World’s Most Interesting Cat” is missing his Dos Equis.

      • Moebym of the Returners

        More like Dos Felis.

    • OutOfOrbit

      this is not the yarn you’re looking for

    • Bub, the cynical zombie

      That is one serious looking cat.

  • Left Coast Tom

    Upper McCabe Lake, in Yosemite, last week. Cross-country access only.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/73ea55b38d3ae28158492c13b8536211f04f04f05ad29ed64e0c15ad52cf1cdf.jpg

    • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

      Earth? Just guessing these days.

      • willi0000000

        pro tip – the open water is just about the only giveaway these days.

        [ . . . but watch out for those ethane look-alikes ]

        • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

          Titan concurs.

        • Lord Jim

          Accept no substitutes.

    • OutOfOrbit

      oh i bet i could get in there on a dirt bike
      *ducks runs & hides*

      • willi0000000

        i bet you wouldn’t get out.

        • OutOfOrbit

          remains never found

          • Amy!

            DNA in bear poo, maybe.

          • Doug Langley

            Well, they found The Iceman, but granted it took a few thousand years.

          • Left Coast Tom

            Further south, in northernmost Kings Canyon NP, a training plane went down during WW-II on Darwin Glacier. They’ve been finding the remains of the trainees as Darwin Glacier has been gradually disgorging them.

            Linky.

      • Left Coast Tom
    • Bub, the cynical zombie

      If Donnie wins in 2020, Zinke will have six lane blacktop access in there before you can say “rape the land.”

  • Poly_Ester

    Time for “my parents didn’t raise me right” defense?

    • Résistance Land Shark Ω

      They could try the “Home Alone” defense …

      • Poly_Ester

        Or my mom barely spoke English, and my dad was a narcissistic personality disorder, a bad one.

    • Sophia

      Wasn’t there some guy who got an easy sentence because his parents were well off. Affluenza or something?

      • C4TWOMAN

        Yeah, he killed some people reckless driving and his defense lawyer came up with that.

        • Latverian Diplomat

          IIRC, he then he violated probation or something, like a dumb idiot who didn’t realize what he got away with…once.

          • C4TWOMAN

            Yep. Didn’t his mum try to help him escape to Mexico or something?

      • Three Finger Salute

        It was also because one of the people the punk ran over was a brown Hispanic person who may or may not have been undocumented. The jury was white. Far as they’re concerned, he did a service to society.

      • Poly_Ester

        yes, in Texas of all snowflake locales.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    I’ve said it before, I’ll say it again–your turn, Mayor Eric “What makes you think I am positioning myself for 2020?” Garcetti:

    https://twitter.com/Impeach_D_Trump/status/905420323377602560

    • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

      Kind of a click baity headline, should have said “banned”

      “While the ban isn’t an official ban, Emmanuel declared Chicago a “Trump-free zone”.

      “To all the dreamers who are here in this room and in the city of Chicago, you are welcomed in the city of Chicago,” Emmanuel emphatically stated. “This is your home and you have nothing to worry about. Chicago, our schools, our neighborhoods, our city, as it related to what President Trump said, will be a ‘Trump-free zone’.””

      • TootsStansbury

        Its the cities and the courts. Against Putinism.

        ETA and US.

        • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

          i have no problem with any of it – just the click baity headline.

      • jesterpunk

        It’s not a state Trump won so he won’t go there anyway.

        • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

          the article mentions he’s not likely to show up anytime soon.

  • Ezio
    • TJ Barke

      And their conception of liberty usually involves making lots of money by exploiting the shit out of people and then paying no taxes.

      • C4TWOMAN

        This. Basicly they think they should have the “right” to get away with anything they want because liburty!

    • spangled

      the only freedom libertarians care about is the freedom to smoke weed.

      all other freedoms and rights aren’t important to them.

      • TootsStansbury

        The freedom to discriminate seems like it’s pretty high up there too.

      • Latverian Diplomat

        Freedom from taxes and regulations…

        • C4TWOMAN

          We may have poisoned water and polluted air, but by golly, we have *koff hack* LIBERTY!

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        and own property that no one else can tell them what to do with

      • CripesAmighty

        The freedom to extract money from others by any means.

    • Thiazin Red

      The green area would just be weed and money, and the red are would also include being able to discriminate against other races, women and LGB people.

      • C4TWOMAN

        While also too claiming they never do that.

        • Latverian Diplomat

          “It would be bad for business! The market will prevent it!”

          • C4TWOMAN

            I hate these fuckers. I’ve known people who go to libertarian leaning groups who get the “we’re completely open on social issues and welcoming” schtick, but if anyone deviates from a WASP pro gun bias, they will very subtly make them unwelcome. Or not so subtly. And play games behind their back until people suspect they’re “infiltrated” or some bullshit until the person leaves in disgust. At which point the group will spread lies about the “shill”.

            But you know how the group could have completely prevented the “infiltration” from the pro Zionist liberal “shill”?
            BY NOT LYING ABOUT BEING OPEN TO ANYONE JOINING.

            They can all go die in a fire.

    • I thought it was “shit that Republicans want” and “legal weed”?

    • Lord Jim

      Good night and sleep well.

    • Covfefe

      What part of “Libertarian” don’t you understand?

  • Evan’s twitter buddy Thrush is on with Tweety right now

  • Bananas Foster

    It’s raining in the Willamette valley.

    And for this we will be thankful.

    • OutOfOrbit

      pix or GTFO

    • Beanz&Berryz

      Not yet Portland. A little drizzle in 50 minutes…

    • weighmaster

      Also raining in southern Deschutes co, and we are also thankful.

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    Never ceases to amaze, despite lifetimes of constant practice, what obvious, shitty, shifty-eyed liars all the Trumps are. I mean, I’m not a great guitar player, but I’m better than I was 30 years ago. These imbeciles?

    • CripesAmighty

      That’s the beauty of ‘market power’. You don’t need to be good, smart or clever when you start with 200 million Daddybucks to use as leverage or weapons–just ruthless and venal.

  • 🐶 BRAINTHRUST 5000 🐶

    turns out pharmabro is even more fucking nuts than I thought

    https://twitter.com/yashar/status/905060126033367040

    • 🐶 BRAINTHRUST 5000 🐶

      This will get someone shot.

    • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

      “confirm the sequences I have.”

      WTF is he talking about?

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      He seems nice insane…

    • Doug Langley

      Wait – $5000 PER HAIR?? And all I have to do is tell him I got it from Hillary? Hmm, this sounds promising . . .

      • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

        but the SEQUENCES HAVE TO MATCH!

        • Doug Langley

          Okay, okay. So I’ll have a dark hair, followed by a blond hair, followed by a ginger hair, then another blond hair . . .

          • Jenny

            Just send him pubes and a pair of granny panties. Tell him Hitlery sends her love.

        • weejee

          No debased pairs? Proper base pairs only?

        • Latverian Diplomat

          Which they can’t possibly because there’s no murder mystery with culprit’s DNA…it’s all fantasy.

      • Resistance Fighter Callyson

        I’ll make it easy for you–I color my hair blonde and could use a trim. Just tell me where I should mail the lock–fuck it, I’ll send a few locks of hair just in case!

    • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

      isn’t he supposed to be in jail and broke by now?

    • Resistance Fighter Callyson

      Oh Jesus fucking Christ.

    • What the fuck.

    • therblig

      hillary could send 200 hairs to different hurricane charities and match trumpy’s pledge without breaking a sweat. bonus: it would be douchebro’s money.

      • 🐶 BRAINTHRUST 5000 🐶

        brilliant

      • AnnieGetYerFun

        Can someone email her?

        • AnnieGetYerFun

          NO NOT EMAILS DUH

    • Sophia

      Someone feeling ignored lately?

      • 🐶 BRAINTHRUST 5000 🐶

        He got banned from twitter so inciting morons on facebook is prob. all he has left.

      • Doug Langley

        Glenn Close libelz!!!!

    • Three Finger Salute

      He really is deranged and needs serious professional help. He told Lauren Duca “I’ll fuck you while you sleep” at the end of his trial. He sounds like an unsub from Criminal Minds.

    • (((Alt-Sedagive)))

      Sounds like someone wants to be the next GOP candidate for POTUS.

    • Meccalopolis

      Sequence matches what?

    • NotDarkYet

      One of these days he’s gonna mess with the wrong sorta person.

    • Bub, the cynical zombie

      Punching is too good for that little shitstain.

  • Vagenda and Pee-ara

    Nothing will happen to any of these people. They aren’t going to be convicted of anything, McConnell and Gorsuch will make certain of that.

    • I firmly believe that the Notorious RBG will direct Sotomayor and Kagan to beat Gorsuch down one of these days

      • Résistance Land Shark Ω

        Those three justices could outsmart Gorsuch in their sleep. Wouldn’t be too hard.

        • Vagenda and Pee-ara

          Gorsuch is an idiot, but his vote counts just as much as everyone else’s does, and it’s 5 to 4 in the idiot’s favor.

          • Résistance Land Shark Ω

            Unless RBG threatens to beat him up and take his lunch money …

    • Résistance Land Shark Ω

      See … this is where that whole check and balances thing kinda works. Independent investigation and grand juries can’t be stopped by the Congress or the courts. Maybe, if convicted, they could appeal, and maybe it would reach the Supreme Court, but then I would suspect that their lives are over and the Notorious RBG would slap an opinion on them that would be taught in law school for decades.

    • Latverian Diplomat

      If Trump keeps talking up his pals Chuck and Nancy, impeachment could be on the table again.

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        McConnell also hates Trump’s guts, but he won’t do the right thing. He needs to get those tax cuts, and impeaching the orange moron won’t help with that.

        I love that they hate each other.

  • Shanzgood

    There’s are two guys in my yard with metal detectors looking for weird stuff. I guess it’s good to have a hobby?

    • OutOfOrbit

      are you nekkid?

      • Shanzgood

        yeah, under my clothes

        • OutOfOrbit

          wwah wwah wwah

          • Shanzgood

            Well, I’m on my porch.

          • OutOfOrbit

            so?

          • Shanzgood

            I don’t like any of my neighbors that much.

          • OutOfOrbit

            well there’s always the drive-by peeps

          • Shanzgood

            Also too many mosquitoes.

          • OutOfOrbit

            skeeters & noods together not good & OFF stings certin … senxative area(s)

          • Shanzgood

            Yeah, I’d rather mosquito bites than OFF.

    • Royal Ugly Globalist Dude
    • hudson

      in general, i like to do all scouting and discovering corner cases myself. don’t mind looking stupid in the process. but beyond that i get queasy letting others find stuff for me.

      • Shanzgood

        I felt odd but didn’t want to spoil their fun so I let them do it just in the front yard.

        • NotDarkYet

          Do you get whatever they find?

        • BosGrl

          Why didn’t they do it in the road?

          • Shanzgood

            They might frighten the horses?

    • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

      You know you have to bury the UFO at least 10 meters underground, right?

      • Shanzgood

        That would interfere with the water mains, I think.

      • Lord Jim

        UFO metal doesn’t trigger metal detectors. You have to use ground-penetrating radar to detect the difference in density from the surrounding soil.

        :)

        • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

          ProTip!

    • You should ice that burn

      If they find something and look excited go out and claim it.

    • hudson

      these guys are spendy no?

      ps: cheap bastard i’m.

      • Shanzgood

        They had a very nice silver extended cab truck of some sort, so…yes?

        They found a button and possibly a pocketwatch winding key. They asked how old my house is and I told them it’s 100 this year. It used to be a boarding house in the area where people came to stable their horses and catch the trolley into town. I like helping people get their geek on.

        • AnnieGetYerFun

          Seriously, I have always wanted to do this as a hobby. I think it would be SO much fun. And a BOARDING HOUSE? Amazing.

          • Shanzgood

            I found a stack of old paperwork in the crawl space under the front porch, plus some that was left behind inside the house, having to do with title conveyance, shopping lists, newspaper clippings, etc. I should really get it back out and try to do something to conserve it.

          • Shanzgood

            Also, boarding house is why I have a serving hatch between the kitchen and pantry and a door from my bedroom onto the roof of the laundry room addition plus a room and a former bathroom in the basement.

        • hudson

          naaaice. do you have to deal with pesky historic board types to update the electrical?

          ours is a cookie cutter raised ranch in a development. but it’s cheaper than rent, and have now accumulated memories of many a happy potlucks, and centrally located so no complaints.

          both our houses (we had to move) have been raised ranches, but the first was cuter because the gable end fronted the street. This one is just wide. The view out of dining table on the old one was a very christmasy tudor. For a while deer crossing the neighbors yard used to my wall paper.

          • Shanzgood

            My wiring hasn’t been updated in decades. I expect the house to burn down next time I have the coffee maker on at the same time as the iron. That’s why I don’t iron anything.

          • hudson

            lol. but funny dont solve problem.

    • BosGrl

      There is a really funny British show on Netflix called Detectorists with Gareth from the The Office.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Since I promise not to post any spoilers of tonight’s game (and I hope you good Wonkers will reciprocate when the Olympics are on), I’ll say it now–the enemy of my enemy is my friend:

    http://chiefsticketsforless.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/09/Chiefs-Go-Time1.jpg

    • weejee

      Go Pack!

      • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

        Wolfpack rules, Patriots drool.

        • BosGrl

          Now, see, I don’t normally watch football but you’re forcing me to watch the Pats so I can gloat if they win :D

      • You should ice that burn

        Wolverines! oops, wrong pack..

    • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

      Indeed. My dad was the Chief’s doc back in the day.

      Patriots suck. And cheat. And suck some more. They also cheat.

      • Three Finger Salute

        (leaves quietly out the side-door exit as lone Patriots fan in thread)

        • Donot feel so bad. I loathe a feetball

        • Dudleydidwrong

          Oh, no. There are two of us. Care to meet me at the corner bar? Maybe they’ll have the game on the telly.

          • BosGrl

            There are 3 of us. All alone and lonely.

          • Bub, the cynical zombie

            I kinda like the Pats, even if Brady is a Trump guy. As for cheating, as NASCAR legend Junior Johnson once said: “If you ain’t cheatin’ you ain’t tryin’

        • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

          And the Paul Revere you rode in on./

      • Covfefe

        Red Sox just got caught cheating, using Apple watches to steal opposing catchers’ signs. Is everyone from Boston like that?

    • Mormos

      false! Then enemy of your enemy is your enemy’s enemy. Never forget! or suffer their inevitable betrayal

      • Latverian Diplomat

        “There can be only one…until next year.”
        — The Highlander tries to understand sports

      • Permit-holder Ron

        Sh! Ixnay on the etrayalbay!
        – Ron Ribbentrop

  • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

    It would probably be bad to post to the racist forums, “There’s a Deplorables Convention at Mar-A-Lago Sunday, and the first 500 get in free”, right?

    Yeah, I won’t do that even with votes.

    • Michael R
    • Bananas Foster

      “Something something FREE WOMEN FOR INCELS something something.”

    • Carpe Vagenda

      You could post “the lieberal MSM doesn’t want you to show support for Rush, Drudge and Trump by throwing your life away.”

      Probably be more effective.

    • C4TWOMAN

      Don’t worry none bout the “hurricane”—Rush sez it’s a liburl false flag plot!

      • Edith Prickly

        Easy for him to say, his fat ass will float if his house gets swamped.