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Damn it feels good to be a gangsta

There really is a tweet for everything. Donald Trump in 2013:

And Donald Trump right now, September 6, 2017, speaking via a statement from Chuck Schumer and Nancy Pelosi:

“In the meeting, the President and Congressional leadership agreed to pass aid for Harvey, an extension of the debt limit, and a continuing resolution both to December 15, all together. Both sides have every intention of avoiding default in December and look forward to working together on the many issues before us.”

Pelosi and Schumer added that the DREAM Act needs a clean vote, like yesterday.

So basically Pelosi and Schumer went into a meeting with Trump and got Mr. Art Of The Deal to give them everything they wanted. (They did this back in May too!) And how did they do that? Did they give Trump a framed county-by-county electoral map, as former Wonker Jim Newell teased on the Twitter? Did they tell him he has the prettiest appleheaded vagina mouth they’ve ever seen? Or did they do it more good cop/bad cop, where Chuck Schumer said nice New York words at Trump while Pelosi jammed her high heel into his neck and called him a pussy?

Out of frame: Pelosi cock-slapping Trump.

It’s clear, though, that Trump put up quite the fight, as did Mitch McConnell and Paul Ryan, who also were there:

OK, it was the opposite of a fight.

Also:

Imagine that.

But back to Nancy Pelosi and Chuck Schumer showing Trump how REAL leaders grab puss and take it to Haverty’s, Jonathan Swan at Axios spoke to a “Republican close to leadership” and learned there’s even hope for DACA coming out of this meeting:

“Dems bluffed their way into total victory. They win the politics of DACA and leverage on debt in the winter. The fate is sealed – DACA will be reauthorized without strings, Schumer has inserted himself into all negotiations in the winter, including tax, spending and immigration.”

Excuse us? “Reauthorized without strings”? But we thought …

Did Pelosi and Schumer tell Trump America has pee hookers too? Jesus Christ.

Did we mention Treasury Secretary Steven Mnuchin was in the meeting too, fighting on the side of Ryan and McConnell, and ALSO got told to go eat a bag of his own dicks?

Meanwhile, Trump is declaring victory:

“We had a very good meeting with Nancy Pelosi and Chuck Schumer [Trump notably did not mention Ryan or McConnell]. We agreed to a three-month extension on debt ceiling, which they consider to be sacred, very important, always we’ll agree on debt ceiling automatically because of the importance of it. Also on the CRs and also on Harvey, which now we’re going to be adding something because of what’s going on in Florida, but we had a very good meeting. We essentially came to a deal, and I think the deal will be very good.”

Did they present him a new pair of gloves with the words “World’s Biggest Hands” cross-stitched on them?

We are not done LOLing at this yet! And yeah, we’re pasting another tweet, because when we use Axios as a primary source, it makes us feel like dumbing things down. No idea why. Look at this Trump statement from Air Force One:

CHUCK AND NANCY? God, Trump’s being so sweet you’d think he just got birthday “D” from Vladimir Putin.

WHAT DID THEY DO TO HIM? Did Schumer give him a swirlie and a wedgie at the same time while Pelosi gangsta kicked him in the nuts?

OR …

MAYBE …

iT COULD BE that Schumer and Pelosi are really fucking good at their jobs, which makes Fox News say mean things about them, which makes them a “liability” for the party come mid-terms (especially the lady one named Nancy!), which means we should obviously fire them and hire that Tim Ryan doucherabbit instead. #FreshBloodssssss!

We are just saying.

Follow Evan Hurst on Twitter RIGHT HERE.

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[Axios]

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  • Joe Beese

    Of course Trump can’t stay on subject when Ivanka sashays that ass on by.

  • Indiepalin

    “Dad, can I borrow your car? Mine got stolen again.”

    • OrdinaryJoe

      I think she wanted to borrow his Air Force One to go to the mall….in New York.

  • TundraGrifter

    Until December 15th? #seriously? President Trump went out of his way to make sure everybody had to do this dance again in 3 months?

    • BadKitty904

      How else will he stay in the headlines? And continue to distract the sheep from his treason investigation?

  • Mavenmaven

    Trump is under the thumb of Soros-Alinsky-Ayer is what Breitbart will say. The cuck!

    • BearGHAZI

      Well, he IS.

  • Brian Fowler

    Stupid question, but WHY did Schumer and Pelosi ask for just three months?

    What’s the game here?

    • Résistance Land Shark Ω

      It makes the debt ceiling changeable in three months, if needed. A longer term means the spend can’t rise for 18 months or whatever Ryan asked for.

      • Brian Fowler

        I just don’t see the silver lining here.

      • Skeptical_thinker

        Debt ceiling is raised to pay for spending already authorized, not future spending.

        • Résistance Land Shark Ω

          You’re correct. My mistake is not properly stating this. If the debt ceiling is locked for 18 months, it would mean that no additional debt can be incurred to pay for the operation of the Federal government. This also means that any interim appropriations, such as a hurricane let’s say, would be capped as well. The only way around this is to cut current spending or raise revenue for the current budget.

          • Skeptical_thinker

            Yeppers.

            In this case I think NP and CS are winning both the long game and the short game. Probably the medium game, too.

            None of this is going to fly with the numnutz that support trump. He is showing himself to be a loser, not the winner they voted for.

          • Résistance Land Shark Ω

            And this is a bad thing?

          • Lascauxcaveman

            Democrats always win the long game on the debt ceiling battles, because the only cards the Rs have to play are “shut down the government” and “default on our loans” which are always unpopular.

            Nancy and Chuck are happy to play the debt ceiling game once per quarter, I’d say.

      • Nockular cavity

        Ah. And given the fucking Gatling gun of hurricanes we’re facing, we’re going to need the federal govt. laying out some large amounts of cash.

        • Celtic_Gnome

          Who knew Chinese climate change hoaxes could be so complicated?

    • I believe the game is to keep the heat on high and the pressure on trump, his henchmen, and the congress to try to keep up with the workload.

      Like throwing a sixth ball to the juggler who has five in the air.

      • willi0000000

        someone should definitely throw t’Rump by the balls.

      • Arolpin

        Or in this case, handing a second balloon to Drumpf, because he has finally figured out how to keep the first one in the air. (No, Donnie, don’t sit on it. Don’t eat it! Just hold the string. Ivanka is going to walk in here in a minute, you need to keep ahold of the string! Dammit, now we have to start all over.)

    • ariel_gee_398

      18 months gets it past mid-terms next year, so Republicans would be free to move on to their apocalyptic legislative agenda. Short term extensions give Dems leverage to temper that and get wins leading up to the elections.

      • Celtic_Gnome

        Who knew that people who know how the government works could actually use that to get over on the Republicans?

    • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

      thank you, I had this question as well.

    • IdRatherBeDancing

      the shorter time sucks up the legislative agenda right at about the time to focus on the mid-terms :)

  • OrG

    OMG! Chuck and Nancy have the pee-hooker tapes!

  • WIDTAP

    Today Trump is one day closer to Impeachment -Not for colluding with Russians, or Obstruction of Justice, or money laundering, but for letting the Republicans know that they ain’t going to get shit from him on their agenda.

    • Résistance Land Shark Ω

      Ryan and McTurtle are probably writing the impeachment legislation RIGHT FUCKING NOW. Maybe that’s Donnie’s plan to get out?

    • whitroth

      My thunks, precisely.

  • Skeptical_thinker
    • janecita

      I’m planning to run on the “I’m pretty” platform.

    • The GOP party head was aghast……… that the female candidate would just go right out and say it.

      • willi0000000

        it’s OK though . . . she apologized “to anyone who might have been offended”

        [ fucking thoughts and prayers ]

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    And how did they do that? Did they give Trump a framed county-by-county electoral map, as former Wonker Jim Newell teased on the Twitter?

    “No, there weren’t nearly three million illegal voters, Donald–you lost the popular vote fair and square!”

    – Nancy Pelosi and Chuck Schumer

  • Vincent Ricola

    I don’t trust any of this, but I’m too busy laughing my ass off at that Schumer/Trump picture to care right now.

  • Everrett Fanuelli

    I thought Pelosi was a horrible leader that needed to be replaced?

    • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

      Generally the consensus of Bernie Bros that don’t care for Democrats anyway (Another woman in power? This will not stand!).

    • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

      IKR?
      We’ll have to remember this on their next visit (which I suspect will be in this thread.)

    • CO

      She’s probably one of the best house leaders in modern times. It’s amazing how she whips votes.

      • willi0000000

        you should see her whip.

        • PubOption

          Huh-huh, huh-huh, huh-huh-huh.

    • Les Appentis De la résistance

      Replaced by the guy who thinks we are not nice enough to wall streeters and banks.

  • CO
    • Lance Thrustwell

      …I’m starting to get the feeling he’s not a Trump fan.

      • Jennaratrix

        It’s subtle, but yeah, you might be right.

    • Finnibar87

      Ab so fucking lutely.

      Plus, Trump the Idiot literally ran for president – a big important job, most admit – simply because Obama made fun of him the once for spreading fake fucking news about Obama’s birth place, and people in the room LAUGHED.

      Obama got a LAUGH at Donnie’s EXPENSE.

      Trump did what any other massively stupid and insecure wealthy POS would do; try and destroy a guy by taking the job he just left.

      • whitroth

        Borowitz’s headline on the letter he gave Trump was to the effect that Obama *taunted* him, the letter was filled with POLYSYLLABIC WORDS!

    • Nockular cavity

      Get ‘im, Hellboy!

    • Raan

      And that, much like war, never changes.

    • Gayer Than Thou

      Now is not the time to politicize the president’s incompetence, laziness, and cruelty.

      • willi0000000

        too soon?

  • CindyinEncinitas

    I think they brought him some balloons.

    • OrG

      Shaped like animals!

      • CindyinEncinitas

        That he could wear as a hat!

  • Finnibar87

    Chuck ‘n Nancy know how to play an imcompetent R president, especially one with a pee hooker tape that might could be floating around on the interwebs.

  • OrdinaryJoe

    Shhhh. Don’t go around bragging about how that asshole got schooled by CS and NP. He’ll hear about it, get mad and the next thing you know we are at war with Finland.

    • CindyinEncinitas

      We have always been at war with Finland.

      • laughingnome

        East Finland

        • CindyinEncinitas

          That’s what I meant…

      • whitroth

        But doesn’t that disrupt the trade between Finland and Wales, that goes back to the Middle Ages? You know, where vowels go one way, and consonants the other?

        • Lascauxcaveman

          A Møøse once bit my sister…

  • Lance Thrustwell

    Trump generally doesn’t hold grudges (Obama seems to be an exception). To his supporters, this seems like a sign of good character. But what it indicates in Trump’s case is an almost Alzheimer’s-like tendency to live in the constant present, where the only interesting thing is the next shiny object or the next source of praise and adulation.

    • Everrett Fanuelli

      Actually he does. This has been reported by multiple people that know him.

      • Lance Thrustwell

        I can believe it – I’ve just seen a lot of evidence of that vacuous superficiality that doesn’t seem to leave much room for such things. Who besides Obama?

        • Jamoche

          Rosie, Mika, any reporter who ever challenged him, any woman who ever turned him down, any CEO who ever got the best of him…

          (edited to fix – Rosie, not Roseanne. But possibly her too)

          • Lance Thrustwell

            Hm. Maybe so. His attacks always seem reactive, though. Not the dish-served-cold kind. But I dunno. Just an armchair analyst, me.

          • Jamoche

            It’s a mix. He’ll hate you forever, but there’s no long-term plotting involved – he’s never hit the object permanence stage of development. But cross his sights again, and no matter how long ago it was, he’ll take another pot shot.

          • Finnibar87

            Trump always remembers slights, and yeah: he serves his ‘revenge’ cold.

            Usually it involves petty bullshit stuff, like his hands.

            But with Obama? A blah man got white guys and pretty girls to laugh at him and it was on TV, too!

        • Finnibar87

          All of them, Katie.

          Jeff Zucker is a great example.

    • Jon Sussex

      Scarborough and Brzezinski on line one.

    • Persistent Tennessee Rain
      • Lance Thrustwell

        Oh yeah! I remember that now. But wasn’t all the acrimony & petty sniping a matter of back-and-forth? It’s the delayed reaction, the long-standing grudge I wonder about.

    • Finnibar87

      Trump the Idiot clings as close to his flabby chest as possible every grievance with others he feels has been done to him.

      He’s like a super caffienated fox terrier with a nice, new down comforter; that thing is going DOWN.

    • Mr. Blobfish

      Trump is all about the grudge.

      • Lance Thrustwell

        I seem to be in the minority on this one! I may be forced to conclude that I’m {turns pale, gulps} wrong.

        • Finnibar87

          Wrong is not always a bad place to be.

    • Daniel

      “Trump generally doesn’t hold grudges”

      He still sends photos of his hands to the guy from Spy who said they were little in the eighties. He still rants about a five minute bit Rosie O’Donnell did more than ten years ago.

    • Beanz&Berryz

      “I like to watch.”

  • Mr. Blobfish

    This could also be pure revenge against Paul and Yertle. Trump not happy. Trump smash.

  • Paperless Tiger

    Trump likes debt. He intuitively understands that his class thrives on funny money while the workers end up with less and less. It’s fractional, y’know. The Republicans just want to use the debt ceiling as a scare tactic to force their hateful ideology. They don’t understand anything.

  • Bob and Carol and Ted and Alice and Chuck and Nancy

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4LfRyUPgp-c

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
  • BearGHAZI

    Breitbart haz a sad. You know it’s bad when ‘whore abortionist’ makes an appearance in the first thread
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/2a1c7efc77ea5012abf03bd7c644f94edaf8fc76133bfa4086e78b38031969ff.jpg

    • Finnibar87

      But they so love whining about medical procedures!

    • Vincent Ricola

      Aborting whores seems like a really unAmerican thing to be doing.

    • Nockular cavity

      It ain’t a party till the whore abortionists show up.

      • IdRatherBeDancing

        Damn, we gays have been eclipsed by the whore abortionists under the disco ball. Who knew?

    • Raan

      Wait, are whore abortionists whores who get abortions or whores who preform abortions?

      • Nockular cavity

        Yes.

      • BearGHAZI

        Did some research and figured this out. An abortionist who sells him/herself for money is a whore abortionist. Aborting a whore is referred to as a whorebortion

    • spangled

      they are right, whorebortionists are the base of the democratic party.

    • whitroth
      • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

        sadly, we learned last week that alien is in fact the term in the immigration laws.

        : (

    • Daniel

      Defending western culture one misplaced apostrophe at a time.

    • P’jama Pahnts

      Your clever troll worked. I clicked on “Show 1 new reply” and “Show 13 new comments” in your image. That’s what I get for Wonking while trying to work.

      • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

        lol, I do that everytime too.

      • BearGHAZI

        Well, that’s what you get for working while trying to wonk

    • IdRatherBeDancing

      Awake seems nice. Good God-fearing Christian there!

  • Mr. Blobfish

    Nancy gave trump her car key to play with.

    • CindyinEncinitas

      And when she leaned over to do so, she made sure he couldn’t grab her earring.

      • Ms.MLG on Maui

        Not ALL babies are cute!

      • Mr. Blobfish

        She flashed him just enough cleavage.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
    • Jennaratrix

      Excellent stuff.

    • Lance Thrustwell

      That is awesome.

  • Randy Riddle

    “… while Pelosi jammed her high heel into his neck and called him a pussy?”

    Did she learn that he liked that from the pee tape?

  • Thiazin Red

    How many times has it been now that Ivanka just happens to stroll into meetings she isn’t supposed to be at and gets in the way?

    • Suttree

      Until impeachment?

    • Vincent Ricola

      I think that might be her White House job. Just roaming around from room to room all day in hopes of finding a meeting to crash.

      • whitroth

        And when Melania calls her into the bedroom, when the Orange Doodie can’t get it up for Mel, and won’t let her sleep….

        • Suttree

          Melon still can’t say “Oh daddy!” with an American accent.

          • Résistance Land Shark Ω

            OK … just ewwww.

    • elviouslyqueer

      “Oh, you mean this isn’t the Lincoln Bedroom?” *smiles broadly* *flashes boobs**

      –Ivanka, all day, every day

      • Suttree

        She is lucky that she is surrounded by republicans. They’ll get a little babby hard on for blonde hair alone.

      • PubOption

        Showing that she’s a complete fake?

    • Chyron HR

      Oh, she’s supposed to be at all of them, since Grandpa is too far gone to handle his own affairs, much less the country’s.

      Perhaps you meant “meetings she isn’t QUALIFIED to be at”?

    • Mr. Blobfish

      Probably the only person Kelly can’t keep away and he knows it.

    • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

      Her Hooters uniform was extra distracting.

  • Suttree
    • whitroth

      Hate that Lord&Master look at Trump like that, and he’ll fold immediately!

      • Suttree

        Or at least some clawing.

    • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

      As a cat lover, I stumbled on the raging controversy over apple heads vs. triangle heads and I’m still laughing years later. (And totally on the side of the apple heads).

      • Suttree

        Almost 20 years ago I dated a woman who had one of each. The applehead was a little runt that at 3 years old probably weighed 6 lbs. It was a little tiny scared kitty. I’m still convinced that she broke up with me because I finally got that little applehead to love on me. The pear head would just come over and steal your pillow. :0

        • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

          I love that you wooed the little applehead and he finally responded. That’s so sweet.

          • Suttree

            Little apple tiny baby was soooo shy! But he was a little purr monster once he got comfortable. It took 10 months of living with him though. :) I never gave up!

          • Paul

            Took me about 4 months to win the trust of one of Holly’s rescue cats, but like you I never gave up. Figured the poor little thing had reasons to fear humans, being a rescue and all. Her other cat acts like a golden retriever and loves everybody. He was abandoned. The “baby girl” cat was abused, poor thing.

          • Suttree

            Awwwweeee! Some poor kitties need extra kind love. Very slow introductions are proper sometimes. I’m glad that you got scaredy cat to love you!

            https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/ffe518370320c5356254aaebdf0c9024c865d3329045867a6e655bc8818ae929.jpg

          • Paul

            So am I man, so am I.

        • Paul

          Along that same line I dated a woman who had a little Paris Hilton purse dog that was skittish as hell. I believe she got it to look cool and resented the accompanying responsibility. She yelled at the dog a LOT.

          Naturally I thought that was horrible and did all that I could to show it some love and affection. Next to the last thing she said to me was “Don’t make MY dog love you.” Last thing she said was “Where you going?”

          She was also terrible to waitresses. Yet she had been one before she got her degree and a good paying job. Should’ve split after the first date but figured she was simply having a bad day. Was I ever wrong.

          • Suttree

            I had an ex kick me out of her house once, because she had just been given a feral kitty after her 16 year old died. New kitty was feral as fuck! I had a few days off and spent it at the GF’s house while she was at work. She came home one night after her bartending shift and screamed at me because little kitty was snuggling on my chest. “That’s my cat! You motherfucker! Get out of my house!” She was an interesting person…..

          • Paul

            Wow. Seems like the sort of “interesting” in that Chinese admonition
            “May you live in interesting times.”

          • Suttree

            It was certainly interesting. Also too batshit crazy!

    • HooverVilles

      Nice! You know how to make Ceiling Cat Purrrrrr@

      • Suttree

        I have probably met like 4(?) cats in my life that I couldn’t coax into some loving. I was at a job interview today, and we got back to the shop from taking a look at a jobsite. I hopped out of the truck and stood there for a minute while the boss grabbed his stuff. Lo and behold a small cat ran up and said hello. I think it might be the shop cat, because I saw a few cans of food inside. Yay shopcat! I did get the job also too!

        • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

          CONGRATS ON THE JOB!

          Super stoked for you.

          • Suttree

            Thanks brother! I’m excited too. Just hoping my back holds up.

          • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

            take care of it and it will take care of you!
            Do your stretches, wear a back brace, lifting with your legs, etc etc etc.
            I find the best therapy for my specific problem is a heating pad, but YMMV of course depending on your issue.

          • Suttree

            I’ve got the heating pad on now.

        • HooverVilles

          Shopcat and new job. Congrats!
          Hope the new job goes well. Me, I retired recently. I had good, fun and challenging work for the most part. The corporate culture was changing thou (bought out 3 times & major management restructuring 1 time) and each time management was enriched and employee benefits took hit. It became obvious that it was time to take retirement.

  • OneYieldRegular

    “18 months.”
    “No, 3 months.”
    “Let’s compromise: 3 months.”
    “3 months, okay by us.”
    “Wait, I meant 12!”
    “Too late.”

  • elviouslyqueer

    Yo, Mitch and Paul? I believe you’ll find your balls out on the front lawn, right next to where Sean Spicer stashed all the really fancy Easter eggs back in April.

    • willi0000000

      you’re mean!

      [ i like that ]

  • whitroth

    Oh, please Trumpo, do it again. And again. And AGAIN, with the Dems…

    That impeachment ain’t that far off….

  • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

    Yay!

    DON’T FUCK IT UP DEMS.

  • Jgb979

    For all his bluster, Trump is fundamentally a whiny ass titty baby who is balls terrified of having to make a decision and even worse defend that decision.

    Do all the work for him, flatter him, tell him he’s a good strong boy with the largest of hands, keep it simple, he’ll do anything you want.

    I believe he’s a racist, narcissistic piece of shit human being, but I also believe he doesn’t have any strong morals or personal beliefs of any sort. Part of the reason his administration has been military right wing crazy pants so far, is those are the only people in his ear.

    Kudos to pelosi and Schumer. Much more of this please.

    • House0fTheBlueLights
      • willi0000000

        opening line: “Once upon a time, a child was born into
        wealth and wanted for nothing, but he was possessed by bottomless,
        endless, grating, grasping wanting, and wanted more, and got it, and
        more after that, and always more.”

        she could have stopped right there . . . but she did go on beautifully.

        • House0fTheBlueLights

          The comparison to the story of the fisherman’s wife was brilliant.

  • spangled

    nancy pelosi is damn good at her job and don’t y’all forget it!

    • Résistance Land Shark Ω

      Could Nancy take a moment of her time and lay some whup ass on DiFi?

      • spangled

        DIFI is supposed to be schumer’s department. he’s ok, but can’t whip ’em into shape like pelosi.

        • Résistance Land Shark Ω

          Still … Nancy could have a nice “chat” with DiFi and set her straight. No more of her waffling bullshit.

          • CindyinEncinitas

            DiFi’s never going to change.

  • I can’t imagine how Ivanka manages to get past General Kelly and into the oval…..

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/40616cd5c36bb4f7092d851d402701d5042d46ce862eaadd568541772803accf.jpg

    • The Wanderer

      Would the phrase “chrome off a trailer hitch” have something to do with it?

      • Right there with “golf ball through a garden hose”.

    • Wild Cat

      “I’m going to ghost-write a book for you, Honey, that will be ghost-written by someone else and a big, dumb NYC publishing house will still pay us through the wazoo for a book that’s a total sham rather than paying its employees, investing in good authors, and caring about facts. God Bless America!”

    • Beanz&Berryz

      I don’t get it… the four stars match, but not the rest…

  • Suttree

    I thought that the GOP liked raising the debt limit for 72 hours at a time. Maybe next time the dems can get a guarantee on Paul Ryan getting a swirllie.

  • Les Appentis De la résistance

    Shhhhhhhhh … can you guys keep it down? Don’t let Trump knows he got taken. Let him think he got the better part of the deal.

    • Jamoche

      It’s OK, Fox News doesn’t cover us and he doesn’t watch anything else.

  • Maybe they told Trump that if he wants Congress to actually pass meaningful legislation on any topic, he can either trust the GOP leadership to do it (“and how’s that worked out for you so far?”) or he can come and talk to them.

    • Finnibar87

      That sounds about right.

      Trump needs Dem votes to get anything done at this point.

      And those votes ain’t coming cheap, this time.

      • Résistance Land Shark Ω

        And the price is going to continue to rise.

      • And I honestly don’t think Trump cares about the cost. He’s never been ideological.

        I think he cares more at this point about his legacy and being regarded as an actual leader. Right now, he’s kind of a laughing stock, so if he can get some signature legislation signed and claim some wins with the Dems help, I think he might actually sign it even if the conservative howler monkeys object.

  • MrTusks

    “while Pelosi jammed her high heel into his neck and called him a pussy”

    Please, Wonket, no sexting while I’m at work!

    • Weird Fishes

      Besides, he clearly likes that sort of thing. Dammit, Nancy, stop pandering to him!

  • Bananas Foster

    Obviously McCain weaponized his tumor and infected Trump.

    • Wild Cat

      McCain, the sick fucker, is going to vote to kill the ACA.

      • Weird Fishes

        “They wouldn’t give me extra jello!”

    • Bub, the cynical zombie

      If Trump ever contracted brain cancer the poor tumour would promptly die of starvation.

    • sarafina

      That is the best news I’ve heard all day.

  • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

    I don’t trust anything tills its signed, but the question has to be asked: Is our Trumps learning?

    • Résistance Land Shark Ω

      No. Remember, he keeps making decisions based on the last person to talk to him.

      • spangled

        he’s an empty shell of a man. we just need obama to constantly speak into an earpiece in trump’s ear, and we’ll have a decent president again!

        a classic sitcom caper could save the US!

    • HooverVilles

      Funny.

    • sarafina

      No.

  • Crystalclear12

    That Nancy, what a bitch!
    Clearly doesn’t know what she is doing.
    Obviously the best solution is replace her with someone who has less experience and a penis.

    • Résistance Land Shark Ω

      Old and white also too.

      • CindyinEncinitas

        But the empenised one should not be too progressive, lest he cleave the party in twain.

    • spangled

      bonus points if that penis-haver is allegedly “more progressive”, but backs the GOP tax plan.

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      This pretty much describes my entire career.

      • marxalot

        Are you a librarian, too?

        • House0fTheBlueLights

          Nonprofit administration, so pretty similar–everyone there is female, except for that one guy, who always seems to end up running things. Weird.

    • elviouslyqueer

      This could totes be Lindsey Graham’s Grindr ISO.

    • Les Appentis De la résistance

      She’s so busy raising the huge cash to pay her West coast elitist plastic surgeon, she doesn’t have time for the little people and their concerns.

    • Gayer Than Thou

      Maybe someone with a couple years’ experience as a sportswriter.

    • IdRatherBeDancing

      Like with Other Ryan? LOL

  • 28 Percent

    You don’t have to win majorities to win on policies (just ask Parnell). Republicans won last November, but they did it in a way that made it impossible to enact their agenda. Democrats lost, but with winning ideas, and now we’re poised to get our agenda through a Republican Congress. This is what real winning looks like.

    • CindyinEncinitas

      Sounds so crazy it might just work.

  • Ryan Denniston

    “Excuse us? “Reauthorized without strings”? But we thought …”

    It’s just like the Cuban missile crisis. Trump offers the Dems only a 3 month debt limit deal. And in exchange, he reauthorizes DACA” No wait, that’s not how it works…

  • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

    In today’s Donald Digest: Hide your fragile things from yourself…and behold:
    https://twitter.com/realdonaldtrump/status/905383039517282304
    https://twitter.com/realdonaldtrump/status/905383515302264832

    • Mr. Blobfish

      If his keyboard lost the “!” key, his world would crash to the ground.

      • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

        “Time to get a new phone…the exclamation point fell off.” – DJT

      • LucindathePook

        I read that as “I” key, as in cap I.

    • Ryan Denniston

      No rest for the weary indeed. We’ve lasted through 8 months of Typhoon Trump.

      • Msgr_MΩment

        No rest for the wicked, either.

        • CindyinEncinitas

          Thank you.

    • Shanzgood

      Jesus, he sounds EXCITED.

      • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos
        • Bub, the cynical zombie

          I can picture the stupid son of a bitch on the sidelines of the big game, wearing a sweater with 45 on the front, leading cheers with a big megaphone.

      • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

        Practically giddy. But remember, he said Texas would be good as new in 6 months.

      • Bub, the cynical zombie

        He is. He thinks – no, scratch that. He’s incapable of thought. He just likes bigly stuff. It makes him get all exclamation pointy.

        It is horrifying to be reminded, every day, that the President of the United States has the exact same level of insight, understanding and emotional maturity as a toddler who thinks cutting a really loud fart is a singular achievement.

        • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

          With Trump, cutting a really loud fart would be a singular achievement. I’m sure his gaping asshole is just like his mouth: Always open and lacking muscle tone. He’d have to jam a ten-foot whoopie cushion up his ass to get an audible response.

          All he does is stink up the place.

          • chortlingdingo

            Oh dear. Why did you inflict this visual upon us?

      • Meccalopolis

        Aw man… Had to make me click

    • Msgr_MΩment

      He’ll resign after the hurricane season. I don’t think he can sustain all this giddy excitement much longer than that.

      • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

        Maybe he’ll have a brain aneurysm and his ass will explode.

    • elviouslyqueer

      “Such a huge hurricane! Thank you for coming, Irma! Historic!”

    • Lance Thrustwell

      Whenever Trump gets to use a superlative, he is happy. The happiest!

    • Chyron HR

      My natural disasters are the biggest ever! Destruction of Houston the greatest, not like SAD New Orleans!

      • sarafina

        Finally, something bigger than Obama’s!!! (a disaster, sounds about right)

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      Shut the fuck up and go away permanently, you piece of shit twittering fool!

      And stop breathing when you get there! Permanently!

  • ariel_gee_398

    So, it’s all well and good that Donnie agrees with Sid and Nancy, but functionally, how is an actual bill going to get passed? Is Paul going to violate the Hastert Rule to let a Harvey/debt ceiling bill come up?

    • Ωbjectifier

      If Sid and Nanacy corral all the Dems the Reps don’t need the freedumb cawkus. So yeah, the pederast rule goes by the wayside.

      • ariel_gee_398

        Right, but that fake inviolate rule has been their excuse for not working with Dems on anything. Toss it for this…easier to violate it next time? And doesn’t Paul need them to stay Speaker? Boehner must be guffawing into his Cabernet right about now.

        • IdRatherBeDancing

          while taking a long drag from a Marlboro Red

    • Pilotshark

      ” Paul going to violate the Hastert Rule”
      think the first question would be or should be,, Mr Ryan why are you hiding behind a known and convicted pedifile ?

      • Royal Ugly Globalist Dude

        It’s better for a reacharound.

  • laughingnome

    Is Trump triangulating?

  • Msgr_MΩment

    I for one welcome our new benevolent overlord, Madame President Pelosi.

    • tza

      Gotta love Nancy.

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      See, when I pointed out the scenario by which we get President Pelosi MONTHS ago (hold out on impeach/resign til after midterms, then can AOT,K when we take back the House), everyone laughed at me. They laughed I tell you. Now all the cool kids are saying it.

      • Jonny On Maui

        Just before your time…

  • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

    How the GOP makes decisions; Chuck and Nancy realized they could actually use words https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/4ccc46ff6dc9bdc2ca398ad5bad32a91523b3791151b5e8d7b7cee46fefd5747.jpg

  • Crystalclear12

    A twofer dems get what they want and Paul and Mitch are probably starting to think impeachment is a good thing.

    • Résistance Land Shark Ω

      Except Pence.

      • Johnny Appleseed

        They may not have explained it to him yet.

        • I Happened

          Too bad Trump’s base always spoils everything.

      • Crystalclear12

        If Trump gets impeached the GOP will be too busy playing musical chairs to get anything done.

        • Pilotshark

          and the stink of a republican president having to resign or be impeached (think he resigns that way he can be pardon), will also be a reason they will not be able to move anything they want.

          republicans will be super damage goods.

          • Ms.Moon

            Let’s sing this together I love this song!
            He’s still up on state charges
            Schneiderman has all the evidence that Mueller has
            Schneiderman hates his guts
            Christmas at Sing, Sing

          • sarafina

            You say that like it’s a bad thing.

  • Ryan Denniston

    Watch for Morning Joe tomorrow to mention as many times as he can how Trump is a lifelong Democrat.

    • HooverVilles

      SAD!

    • Toledo Window Box

      Trump had to run as a Republican. The Democratic party would have removed him a long time ago for colluding with Russia.

      • IdRatherBeDancing

        or being a virulent misogynist and racist

      • sarafina

        In the last election the Dems already had one non-Dem running.

        • Toledo Window Box

          He could have run as a Democrat – his choice. But they would never have taken him, or put up with the Russian collusion.

  • marxalot

    I honestly don’t think the Wig knows what party he “belongs” to, he just wants “things to happen” so whoever comes to him and says “this is a Thing and we are making it Happen” gets his tiny thumbs-ups and bafflegab endorsements regardless of who they are or what they’re doing.

    • altleftjohn

      The Wig Party?

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      he just wants “things to happen” so whoever comes to him and says “this is a Thing and we are making it Happen”

      Snark-writing level: Evan

    • Lance Thrustwell

      I think there’s a lot to that. However, I think Trump has knee-jerk reactions to certain issues – if it sounds too environmental, his little lizard brain goes tree hugger! Job killer! If it has something to do with immigrants, it squeaks Criminal! Quitter! and so on. I think the trick is to navigate around those little land mines when talking to him.

  • Johnny Appleseed

    Pelosi and Schumer we’re playing Chess and Trump was yelling “I’ve got 5 Aces”! Pathetic!

  • I Happened

    ALL the Republicans liked it, now they have time to work on important things.

  • La forza del resistino

    Guessing Melania dropped the 4 yr moratorium and gave him a blowie this morning.

  • HogeyeGrex
    • (((Alt-Sedagive)))

      Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha *breath* hahahahahahahahahahahaha.

      As alternative Machiavelli has written: make the opposition think that you’re a blithering idiot who has no idea what you’re doing. Make it clear, at every turn, that you’re out of your depth. Give them every reason to think that you are a vain, needy, pathetic loser. Then, when they least expect it, cave.

      • Suttree

        Can that person please project this onto Turnip’s D.C. hotel?!

      • Gayer Than Thou

        To be fair, I would happily accept $60,000 for every episode of The Apprentice I’ve watched.

        • (((Alt-Sedagive)))

          I have never seen it, but I hate the spin-off.

    • Toledo Window Box

      In his head, he was willing to take $30K per, so he “won”.

  • House0fTheBlueLights

    Thank you for the best (only?) laugh I’ve had in weeks.

  • CafeenMan

    I’m not clear on how the DACA gets reauthorized without strings. Can someone explain please?

    And is it pretty for-sure or someone just being really optimistic?

    • WotsAllThisThen

      See, normally they give Trump a paddle ball to play with, but this time it had no string and he was so flummoxed he took the first offer.

      • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

        He should try his paddle ball without his usual eye protection.

        • Swampgas_Man

          “These things are defective!”

    • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

      A clean bill, i.e. codifying DACA only with no riders or amendments?

      I mean, I suspect they’ll be horsetrading for votes, but I don’t know politics super well.

    • Mr. Blobfish

      The backlash for not doing so could be huge.

    • Courser_Resistance

      Nothing is ‘for sure’ with these goons in charge, but lets say there’s a decent chance.

  • Résistance Land Shark Ω

    What is the most delicious about this event is that both Ryan and McTurtle, with their majorities in Congress, we’re taken out by two very smart politicians. Ryan … meh. But McTurtle? This must just roast his shell something awful.

    Oh, and they’re democrats and one is a woman also too. Wouldn’t want to be any breakable item in the McTurtle household tonight.

    • Suttree

      Mitch is the reason people started eating mock turtle soup. A calf’s head and offal is tastier than his sack of crap.

    • theblackdog

      Apparently a congressional aide was saying “This is why we kept Nancy as the leader, she went into their stadium and kicked ass.”

      • JustPretendImNotHere

        Nancy Pelosi kicks ass and never lost a floor vote whilst Speaker. And anyone who says anything different can kick rocks.

        • Ms.Moon

          I want to grow up to be like Miss Nancy. She gives no quarter and scares grown men with the mere utterance of her name. She also knows her stuff and is a smart, smart lady. When I can do that and reclaim my time like Ms. Maxine Waters then I can take over the world.

          • Persistent Demme

            What a pair of awesome women!

        • theblackdog

          Lots of Bernie Bros gonna kick rocks then.

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      Like his shell, maybe?

    • IdRatherBeDancing

      Ryan has got to be the most media-hyped and overrated politician in my lifetime. Love them or hate them, Tom DeLay, Gingrich, Pelosi, would or currently do snack on Paul Ryan’s nutsack at will — he is so far out of his league.

      • sarafina

        You say that like it’s a bad thing …

  • Crystalclear12

    Hey, Mitch, Paul remember how you bragged about this ass being your rubber stamp?

    Funny.

    • Daniel

      Upvoted but still. I don’t like the image of Trump’s are as a rubber stamp.

      • marxalot

        This supposes a document of damn near infinite size.

        • Daniel

          Urgh. Now I’m imagining his black hole.

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      Meh. “Blubber stamp” sounds more better.

    • Persistent Demme

      They probably texted her to get her ass into the meeting before Orange Foolius gave away the farm.

  • WotsAllThisThen

    Ivanka came in to say hello and the meeting careened off topic?

    That’s why they call her the “moderating influence.”

    • Toledo Window Box

      Also, “Complicit” is an awesome scent.

    • ManchuCandidate

      Look squirrel!!!!

      • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

        “Check out her ass, everyone! I can say that, because it really is my ass you’re looking at, because I’m her father. It’s a very nice ass, you know. It’s fine, you can say that to her, even if you like mine more. Lots of people do.”

    • puredog

      “Moderating affluence.”

    • Caepan

      Ryan probably complimented her on her fancy pageant walkin’.

      McConnell probably didn’t notice her.

  • I Happened

    Maybe Trump has given up on the Republicans, or maybe it was just a bitch slap.

    • Courser_Resistance

      I find it hysterical that he’s been beating up on the GOP for weeks and then makes a deal with ‘Chuck and Nancy’ over brunch. HAHAHA you asswipes, THAT’s how politics is done. Not screaming yourselves hoarse every day.

  • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

    oh good, they’re rearguing the Dem primary over in the Devos thread and I suspect we’ll be arguing 2018 in here pretty soon.
    (Yes, I’m one of the ones arguing, so I’m a bit of hypocrite).

    • mancityRed6

      Bernie wasn’t a Democrat, end of story.

      • BJW

        Oh noes! Someone’s gonna come along and give you crap for telling the truth.

    • Suttree

      You have fun with that Tex! Imma hang out over here with the “sane” people.

      • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

        lol, not today, not in the mood. Also, I’m supposed to actually get some shit done today!

        • Courser_Resistance

          I paid my credit card bill and applied to Lyft. My work for today is done. Tomorrow I have to hunt up a clinic to get a TNC/DOT exam. Or, um… I could maybe send it to my doc and she’ll fill it out? Probably take weeks, tho. Hmm something to think about.

    • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

      I gave up and just started blocking people.

      • Courser_Resistance

        I just didn’t go there in the first place. I wasn’t in that kind of mood.

        • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

          Probably would have been better if I’d stayed out – today hasn’t been the easiest as it is.

          • CindyinEncinitas

            I’m sorry.

          • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

            Just a lot of stupidity – I’ve put 4 people out on Administrative Leave today for misconduct, had police investigating 3 of them, we nearly had a kid snatched due to an employee being negligent…and that’s just what happened before noon.

          • CindyinEncinitas

            Fucking shit, Spottsy. Lavender water for you tonight, I guess.

    • Vincent Ricola

      But.. but.. we need to get into terrible fights about it every 2 or so weeks so Dems can figure out what went wrong so we can stop being divided into groups like the people on CNN say and win in 2018!

      Hint:
      Russian cheating fuckers and sketch voting machines that may have been hacked and the same “Independent” ratfuckers as always are what went wrong

      • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

        Don’t forget hacking into the voter rolls and “purging” hundreds of thousands of Democratic voters so they couldn’t vote, that was nice too

    • SisterArtemis

      I’m sorta enjoying it, watching all of you state your points quite cogently.

      • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

        I disagree!

        Kidding, but y’all do make me feel stupid a lot of the time.

        ; )

    • IdRatherBeDancing

      No, we are over here now — lol

  • mancityRed6

    they just made it all seem like tRump’s idea.

  • Wolf Tracker

    I don’t think this was Dem bluff and the Dems hold the right cards.

    The GOP can’t pass a debt ceiling increase and budget without Dem votes and Dems and Reps are working on a bipartisan fix for health care and a clean DACA bill.

    Trump and GOP does not want a Fed shut down in the middle of two massive disasters right before we head int the 2018 elections.

    Well played Dems. Well played!

    • laughingnome

      So Harvey and Irma were also in the room negotiating

      • Wolf Tracker

        I would say they had a significant seat at that table.

      • Pilotshark

        being backed up by Mr Jose as well.

      • Résistance Land Shark Ω

        Jose was mixing drinks, and Katia was serving them.

        • Mr. Blobfish

          I suppose some hurricanes are good people.

          • CafeenMan

            OK, I’m in a projected path for Irma but that made me laugh.

            I should probably do something to prepare… like play Fallout.

        • IdRatherBeDancing

          Jose was giving Trump serious side eye.

        • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

          And Katia is a Russian name

          • CindyinEncinitas

            I think it’s short for Fornikatia.

          • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

            Kompromatia

        • JustPretendImNotHere

          What the hell is Katia? I just got off the phone with my 80 year old mother making sure that she has all of documents and meds together. And now there’s another storm forming?

          I need a drink.

          (she should be ok as she lives on the west coast of FL away from the water).

          • Antonin Dvorak

            Katia is the TS following behind TS Jose.

  • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

    Pelosi and Schumer have the pee tape!

  • Toledo Window Box

    Trump is neither a Democrat nor a Republican.

    • laughingnome

      He’s a nationalist and a socialist

      • elviouslyqueer

        Close. He’s an ass and a hole.

        • (((Alt-Sedagive)))

          Sphincter libelz!

      • Caepan

        A floor wax AND a dessert topping!

    • Jonny On Maui

      Nor animal, vegetable or mineral…

      • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

        Nor solid, nor liquid, just gas.

        • Courser_Resistance

          He’s a fucking gas giant

          • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

            Or at least a farting gas giant.

    • Courser_Resistance

      Not terribly bright, either. Chuck and Nancy beguiled him with their Jedi Mind Tricks (I’m sure this is what the RWNJs will say)

    • I Happened

      Possibly Make and Great

  • Jenny

    Well there’s only one party that knows some shit about governing. Turtle 🐢 and Px90 bro don’t lead it.

  • I Happened

    With that $2300 book signing fee, it looks like Hillary is raising funds for round 3

    • Jonny On Maui

      Citation?

    • Steve Cole

      $2.3K seems like big money to you?

      • I Happened

        Not one or two, but maybe if she can get 20 or 30, that could be big.

        • Resistance Fighter Astraea

          What?

        • CindyinEncinitas

          Ooh! Well, considering it costs $10 million just to get a start at it, I’d say that you’re a little off, but hey, momentum could make all the difference.
          http://fortune.com/2015/03/28/campaign-financing/

    • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

      Тебя здесь не приветствуют, лжец.

  • Picabo
    • Bananas Foster

      Because priorities matter!

    • Andrew Rheinheimer

      So prison or death? Good to see the police are still on point, ugh.

    • CindyinEncinitas

      It’s public safety first, then law enforcement, goon. Someone in your county counsel’s office should explain that to you so you don’t end up getting in some kind of trouble.

    • Persistent Demme

      Well, he seems nice!

  • MamaBrown

    Wait–Ivanka sauntered into the Oval Office during a meeting with Congressional leadership “to say hello”?? Like its a goddamn cocktail party in the Hamptons? Like she’s seven and she’s going to curtsey and say “good night Uncle Chuck, good night Auntie Nancy” like a good girl before going to bed? What goes through the howling vast vacant wilderness between her ears? I can’t. I’ll be lying down in a darkened room, dabbing my temples with lavender water.

    • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

      i know she’s done it before, and I can’t remember the circumstances. It was some high level meeting or interview with the WSJ editorial board or something.

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      Was she nekkid or something?

    • SisterArtemis

      Can I borrow your lavender water when you’re done? Because your plan sounds like a good one.

      • MamaBrown

        Any time, darling! I have gallons. It’s going to be a long four years.

    • Courser_Resistance

      I though Drill Sergeant Kelly was supposed to keep that from happening. Did he have the day off or something? Asleep at his post so all the dirty Dems snuck in the back door? And the Dems ran off with ALL the cheese… Woo Hoo!

      • CindyinEncinitas

        I picture him in the corner with a bug zapper waiting for Mooch to come back.

      • Shibusa

        Drill Sergeant Kelly was supposed to keep that from happening. In the end, though, Nobody puts Baby in the Corner.

      • MamaBrown

        Ivanka showed him her tits and promised the delights of her lady garden if he’d let her pass.

    • Red Bird

      It was a diversion tactic.

    • Jennaratrix

      Where were the rest of the Von Trump Family Singers? “So Long, Farewell” doesn’t really work as a solo.

      • MamaBrown

        I heard they wanted to, but Eric can’t remember the words.

    • Gorillionaire

      Ivanka is Donald’s senility insurance. She knows the old man is drifting into alzheimer’s and she runs interference in all of these meetings. That’s why you see her standing around in all the pictures of Donnie meeting foreign dignitaries and such.

    • chortlingdingo

      Chamomile and lavender tea is also nice and soothing.

      • Gayer Than Thou

        Particularly so with vodka.

        • CindyinEncinitas

          *nods knowingly*

        • Caepan

          But, isn’t everything?

    • Raan

      To be fair, that sounds adorable, a seven-year-old presidential daughter calling Congressional leaders “Aunt and Uncle”.

    • Crystalclear12

      Do you need to borrow my clutching pearls?

      • MamaBrown

        Oh, would you be so kind? I’ve long since clutched mine to powder.

    • Persistent Demme

      Fainting couch?

      (Sounds like someone sent her an urgent text telling her to get her ass in the meeting: stat!)

    • sarafina

      I find the smell of lavender annoying, much prefer lilacs.

      • Snopes Shop

        Agree

    • arundel

      My favorite part:
      “The Atlantic reports that “Trump entered the room to say hello to the leaders and the discussion veered off-track.” According to one aide, “Republican leaders were visibly annoyed by Ivanka’s presence.” On MSNBC, they say Ivanka completely derailed Ryan and McConnell, they were fuming. Love this. She didn’t do it on purpose to help Dems or anything, she just likes attention. And maybe trying to distract from daddy’s dementia?

      Why Does Ivanka Trump Keep Dropping in to Say Hello?- Some of the other times she’s done this. Doesn’t cover all the interviews she’s interrupted “saying hello” though.

      http://theslot.jezebel.com/ivanka-trump-keeps-dropping-in-to-say-hello-1801048449

  • Mr. Blobfish

    Who’s your momma, daddy?

  • Donkey Option

    ….HUH? Also, thank you for hitting the fact that Pelosi and Schumer can be great at their jobs. Too often it’s “well, they’re old and not always the most liberal and occasionally I disagree with them so we should totally get rid of them.” Honestly, this is just amazing. Did they drug him? Was he abducted by aliens and replaced with a clone? Mind control via microwaves? Distract him with semi-naked women? Dangle their car keys in front of him?

    • laughingnome

      Yes

    • IdRatherBeDancing

      Went on the opponents home court and kicked their asses!!

    • Resistance Fighter Astraea

      He has very few actual principles or beliefs. If they can get face to face meetings with him he’s probably not hard to persuade for anyone with real political skills. Trouble is anyone else could flip him tomorrow.

      • Courser_Resistance

        It’s been said he agrees with whatever the last person told him. In that case, ‘Chuck and Nancy’ just need to be the last people to leave the room. Though that could get ugly if no one wants to leave the room first.

    • natoslug

      He is weak-willed, feeble-minded, and no longer has President Bannon to hide behind. I’m guessing (hoping) with Kelly there, Trump is going to continue being a loud ass, but an ass that lets dems walk all over him.

      • CindyinEncinitas

        So all the talk about President Bannon being more effective behind the scenes does not seem to be at play here. Which might mean that President Bannon could be apoplectic right about now. From all the winning.

      • sarafina

        ^^^ THIS ^^^ Trumped didn’t want the job and is unable to perform it in an acceptable fashion.

    • Persistent Demme

      Schumer, in particular, seems to always be underestimated.
      (Maybe it’s cause I lived in NY, where he was often dismissed.)
      But Senators like Schumer and Representatives like Pelosi are not where they are without some formidable skills of persuasion and negotiation.
      I’m glad they’re on our side!

  • theblackdog

    Oooh, while it will be nice to still be working in October, the CR just means I can be furloughed before Christmas. Yay?

    • sarafina

      Celebrate at Thanksgiving? You should have a nice meal, anyway.

  • I Happened

    Looks like Anteefa and BLM got a divorce. I wonder who Hillary will side with, this time?

    • natoslug

      *Antifa, you cretin.

      • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

        It’s funny, isn’t it, how people shouting “English only” are always the most moronically illiterate?

        • natoslug

          Apparently our Russian trolls are hookt on fonikz.

      • I Happened

        Antifa doesn’t sound right. AnTEEfa is better.

        • natoslug

          No matter how you spell it, it still sounds like you have, at best, one toof.

          • I Happened

            I was able to save the good one.

    • elviouslyqueer
    • Dr. Rrrrrobotnik

      Private account, 1800 comments, only 900 upvotes. Troll account.

      https://static.comicvine.com/uploads/original/1/13291/775643-ban_him.jpg

      Also, 1800 comments in a month? Good lord, trolls lead pathetic lives.

      • natoslug

        Yeah . . . I got my pointless pokes in, blocking it now. Unfortunately, it is pathetic enough that I can’t quite report it under the new Disqus rules.

        • I Happened

          Tell them I’m violating your echo chamber sound level, they’ll understand.

          • Crystalclear12

            You sound like an expert on echo chambers.

      • I Happened

        More than a month, I’m surprised you don’t recognize me.

        • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

          Trolls look like trolls.

        • CindyinEncinitas

          Can you give us a hint? How do you feel about stiff, huge cocks being ramming into an orifice?

    • Jennaratrix

      0/10, would not read again.

      • natoslug

        Warning: This poster may cause brain damage. Read at your own peril.

    • spangled

      i’m trademarking “anTEEfa” to sell t-shirts to activists. thanks troll!
      ™™™™™™™

      • I Happened

        Maybe 3t’s works better –anTEEEfa with a pinky lift.

    • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

      citation needed..

      also, where they ever working together (as in actual working together and not showing up at the same rallies?)

      • I Happened

        Got me, I just read their Facebook divorce announcement.

        • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

          care to link it so we can all read it? Assuming it’s true and all.

          • I Happened

            I would but it’s hard to get back in, and usually not worth the bother. Try searching on YouTube and you get BLM’S hysterical response.

          • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

            yup – I coulda guessed that was going ot be your response.

          • I Happened

            Wonkeeits are too used to being spoon fed.

          • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

            At least we put the spoon in our mouths. So long as it’s the cake we like.

        • Daniel

          What are you talking about?

      • natoslug

        Aren’t we all working together, under Big Soros? If not, you may have to refund your weekly SorosBucks.

    • Crystalclear12

      I heard Putin and Trump got an annulment.

    • jesterpunk
    • Bub, the cynical zombie

      You didn’t just happen, child. I’ll explain. You see, sometimes when a mommy troll and a daddy troll love each other very much…

    • Jenny

      Anteefa is the name of my polka-synth jazz Die Antwoord cover band. Leave my band out of it.

      • SisterArtemis

        I love you guys! when’s yer next gig?

    • TJ Barke

      A Wild Moron Appeared!

    • Ωbjectifier

      That’s spelled Aunty Fa.

      • I Happened

        Is that the British pronunciation? Sounds good, too.

    • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

      Well someone needs attention.

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      1841 comments and only 946 upvotes. Sad.

      You forget to upvote yourself half the time. More sad.

      • I Happened

        Why would I upvote myself? Who would I think here is worth impressing?

        • Royal Ugly Globalist Dude

          To make it look like you have friends.

          • I Happened

            Oh, I thought it was to make it look like you had brains. I shoulda known.

        • BrianW

          Why are you posting here then? Don’t you have something better to do, like fap to Daily Stormer comments?

          • I Happened

            I just like to swing by and grill a couple, just for fun.

          • BrianW

            Oh, OK. I do notice that you don’t deny masturbating to Daily Stormer comments….

          • I Happened

            Wow, you stayed up all night for that? You’d better upvote yourself.

          • BrianW

            It’s sweet that you think I thought about you during my time away from the computer. No, I went to dinner with my family, and read a book afterwards. You know, fun.

          • I Happened

            Dinner with Mom and Dad, reading a book, time away from the computer, sexual fantasies in front of TV. Sounds like you know what fun’s all about, alright.

          • BrianW

            Did I say Mom and Dad? No, I didn’t; it’s always projection with you guys. I have a wife I’m happy to spend time with. Oh, and FYI: Screaming at your mom to bring another Hot Pocket down to the basement for you is not considered “dinner with the family.”

            Sexual fantasies in front of the TV? Please…
            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KhCL5Ygzc24

            Here is another song you might want to consider, since you don’t know about having a spouse, or enjoying books, or time away from the computer:
            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qIJJxL9utow

  • IdRatherBeDancing

    I do not think we should laugh, lest he flip again. My dream is that Trump cannot stand being POTUS and only wants to do one term and then works with the Dems to fuck the GOP Congress.

  • therblig

    trumpy presses the red button once for a diet coke and twice for verunka to come in and save him from meetings where he’s totally clueless. mission accomplished!

  • BadKitty904

    OT: Hillary Clinton Wasn’t the Only Democrat Whose Campaign Got Hacked in 2016
    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/democrats-2016-campaign-hacking-annette-taddeo_us_59af02f0e4b0b5e53101acf1?ncid=inblnkushpmg00000009

    With a just few keystrokes, hackers were able to take down two Democratic candidates in one congressional district.

    At the time of our interview with Taddeo, she said she had not been interviewed by the FBI about the hacking.

    • I Happened

      Facebook sold political ads to Russia. Zukerberg’s got some splainin to do.

    • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

      I KNEW IT. There HAD to be something shitty going on when Jason Kander, Russ Feingold, ALL the Dems who had a real chance, weirdly “lost” as well.

      • BadKitty904

        That was not an accident.

        • CindyinEncinitas

          No wonder Issa has been so quiet lately.

          • BadKitty904

            It’s SURE not like the Republicans are going to say a word about this voter fraud…as long as it favors THEM.

    • Wolf Tracker

      I read they also went after Rubio and he didn’t even know about it until the first time Comey testified.

  • Résistance Land Shark Ω
  • President in Exile Firefly

    Give Him a Chance, libtards!

    • Wolf Tracker

      Hmmmm?

    • JohnBull

      I once had a Ford Tempo that smoked, squealed, rattled, leaked gas and was pretty much the worst car on the road and never expected it to perform even at my very low expectations.
      Trump is my crappy Tempo. It’s not going to improve. Ever.

      • CripesAmighty

        My best friend had one back in the ’90s–the ‘Schlempo’. Refusing to die, it immisserated multitudes for years.

      • President in Exile Firefly

        I see you and I raise you a Chrysler K car.

  • Holly

    I’m a mother so I’m really good at hearing and seeing things children say to show their siblings and friends how great it would be if they let him into the cool kids club – If you guys let me play with you I’ll give you my lunch money and grab cookies outta the cookie jar for ya…please can I play with you now? This is exactly what I heard coming outta Trumps whinyass puckered mouth.

  • Wolf Tracker

    If Ivanka whispered in Trump’s ear and helped the Dems I will give her an atta boy for that.

    I bet Bannon and Breitbart are having conniptions over there.

    • WeaselPoo

      Ivanka did nothing because that’s what she does. So don’t fool yourself.

      • Wolf Tracker

        But you have to admit she looks good doing it and sometimes that is enough!

        • Rags

          nope

  • Holly

    I’m a mother so I’m really good at hearing and seeing things children say to show their siblings and friends how great it would be if they let him into the cool kids club – If you guys let me play with you I’ll give you my lunch money and grab cookies outta the cookie jar for ya…please can I play with you now? This is exactly what I heard coming outta Trumps whinyass puckered mouth. Do you think they would EVER let him into the cool kids club?

    • Suttree

      I am going to assume that the cool kids stole his ball and heckled him until he went back to the dorms.

      • CindyinEncinitas

        And they made him promise not to tell his dad.

        • Suttree

          His dad probably would have razed the building with the tenants in it.

    • Persistent Demme

      Lol!

      (NY society has already said “No!”
      Does that count?)

      • Ms.Moon

        It drives him nuts all those Museum Row people basically do not acknowledge his existence. He’s not uptown, he’s definitely not downtown and if he’s not locked up he will not be able to come out to enjoy the city because everyone has even more reason to hate him.

  • jowgajen

    Not sure if the Turks and Caicos will still be there in the morning:

    https://ichef.bbci.co.uk/news/624/cpsprodpb/13A4B/production/_97695408_us_storm_surge_irma_624.png

    • Wolf Tracker

      Right in the direct path. They need to get off the island and I heard Navy and marines are on the way to evac.

  • Mr. Blobfish

    Trump had to agree. It was almost noon and time to stare at Guilfoyle’s boobage on The Five.

    • Suttree

      That coke ain’t gonna snort itself neither!

  • Manders

    Ivanka: There are *Democrats* here?
    [She goes flying down the hall, heels in hand, to greet the people that used to be nice to her at parties.]

    • Bub, the cynical zombie

      Catty. I like it.

  • Bitter Scribe

    OK, maybe I’m dumb, but I don’t see why Dems want a shorter period for the debt ceiling to be raised. Is it because they can use it to hold the government hostage like a common Freedom Caucus?

    • jowgajen

      Actually yes. A shorter period means Republicans will have to come to the Dems for votes to extend it again or risk shutting down the government despite having control of all three branches of the government.

      Basically it keeps us at the table, because we are actually less toxic to Republicans than their own Tea Party crazies.

      • Bitter Scribe

        Well, as Jack McCoy said on Law & Order while threatening to put a suspect’s wife in jail: “You chose the game. We just upped the ante.”

    • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

      I think it might be because they’re expecting more natural disasters and unexpected costs, so they want the ability to raise it again? OR: they know they will be able to do it again in three months, so they gave Trump the impression he had “won” in order to gain other concessions? Strategery?

      • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

        Given how easily Donnie can be played, I’m not terribly surprised about this.

    • Dr. Rrrrrobotnik

      Like Jowga said, it just deepens the division between the Freedumb caucus and the rest of the Repubs, since to get a debt ceiling passed they’ll need Dem votes.

    • Wolf Tracker

      It keeps the Reps from moving to pass tax cuts and gives them leverage on bills like an ACA fix and DACA bill right in the middle of the 2018 elections.

      Seems scurvy to play with the national debt but that is how the minority party gets some of what they want.

      I do not think Dems would default like the freedom caucus but they would drive it to the edge and make the GOP beg for their votes with a deal either way.

      • jowgajen

        Eh a shutdown would be great for us. It’s one of the clubs in the bag.

        • Wolf Tracker

          Just goes against Dem principles to have a shutdown and I don’t think we should use that club but never let your opponent know you won’t.

      • theblackdog

        I’m still expecting the freedumb caucus to slip a poison pill into this bill

        • Wolf Tracker

          They could try but they don’t hold enough seats in the house to kill it now and there are enough mod reps and Dems to pass it.

          Depends on what side fuckface Ryan decides to ride.

          • theblackdog

            Ugh, he needs to be defeated in the next election.

  • 3FingerPete

    OT: Dallas is removing it’s most prominent Civil War statue right now. Live feed is here:

    http://www.wfaa.com/news/local/dallas-county/council-vote-today-could-lead-to-immediate-removal-of-confederate-monuments/471523557

    • Suttree

      I thought that Dallas was the antithesis to Houston/Austin types?

      • theblackdog

        Oddly enough a good chunk of the Dallas – Fort Worth area is becoming more blue.

        • Suttree

          I’m guessing that the rest of Texas is blaming that on the “urbans”.

          • jesterpunk

            OT congratulation on the new jerb.

          • Suttree

            Thanks! I was trying to wait for the open thread to announce it. :)

          • jesterpunk

            Is that the stairs job you where talking about the other day?

          • Suttree

            Yes it is. I’ll go into it in the open thread. I assume that you will be there. :)

          • CripesAmighty

            Cooool!

        • marxalot

          That’s neither odd nor new; what is both is that it’s been getting things DONE of late. The last few mayors of DFW cities have been pretty good, for instance. The damn sub- and ex-urbs, though, are, ugh.

        • OrG

          ALL urban areas are.

        • natoslug

          Being underwater will do that to a person. Well, more grey than blue, but still . . .

          • theblackdog

            Dallas is not anywhere near Houston.

          • natoslug

            Hush. Tomato, Slovakia.

      • 3FingerPete

        Dallas proper isn’t. The suburbs are.

      • natoslug

        What do they have against Jane?

        • 3FingerPete

          I used to live in the Wuthering Heights neighborhood of Austen.

          • OutOfOrbit

            icwydt

          • CindyinEncinitas

            Emma be happier for you, too.

          • natoslug

            I hate showing my Pride and Prejudice, but I applaud you for your Sense and Sensibility for leaving.

        • Suttree

          I totally spelled it wrong at first. :) That was my thought as I hit post.

          • natoslug

            That’s why we’re here — to immortalize your smallest of errors.

          • Suttree

            I always spellcheck after I post. That and go back and change commas and tenses. I need all of my fucking tenses to match!

          • natoslug

            And your nineses and sixes as well! Always remember to check your six! At least, that’s what “Top Gun” taught me.

          • CindyinEncinitas

            You’re a wigwam! You’re a teepee!
            Congratulations!

      • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

        Congrats on your new job!

      • janecita
      • sarafina

        No, that’s Fort Worth. Tarrant County is considered the reddest county in the state. Dallas has been blue for a few years.

        • Suttree

          Ahh. My knowledge of Texas comes from a few family7 members from Lubbock, and the cool people that I met in New Orleans.

      • Werewolf

        All the cities in Tejas (except Ft. Worth) are pretty much blue. It’s the lily-white exurbs and rural areas that keep voting Rethuglican. Of course, Austin is the only place in Tejas where the majority of whipeepo voted for Killary.

    • Wild Cat

      Wha—?—Tom Landry’s statue is finally coming down?

  • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

    I don’t think it’s open thread yet – but let’s all cheer Suttree on his new jerb!

    • Courser_Resistance

      Yay Suttree! New job, Woo-hoo. Quick, do me next!!! Me next!

    • Shanzgood

      Wait, what?!

    • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

      What is Suttree’s new jerb? CONGRATULATIONS Suttree!!!

    • janecita

      He got it!!! Yay!

    • Edith Prickly

      Hooray for jerb-havers!!

    • SisterArtemis
    • grindstone

      Huzzah!

  • UncleTravelingMatt

    So is dropping by the Oval Office unannounced to say hi to people Ivanka’s entire job?

    • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

      No, no, silly. Dropping by the Oval Office to check in on Crazy Dad, and to disrupt proceedings–THAT’S Ivanka’s entire job. She doesn’t actually know she’s doing it, she just does what Vlado tells her to do.

    • ariel_gee_398

      She’s more of an unlicensed personal care aide.

      • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

        Who keeps irregular hours and doesn’t really do anything, just like everyone else in the family

      • natoslug

        Helps keeps the spirits up, fluffs the pillows and, er, things?

        • Toomush_Inferesistance

          Are we still doing Phrasing?…

          • UncleTravelingMatt

            Why? Did you have something for this?

    • OutOfOrbit

      jarod evesdrooped & when doonny went sideways, he snapped his fingers at Vanka, “Go, move your pussy around the room”

    • BadKitty904
      • Bub, the cynical zombie

        The Four Horsemen of the Trumpocalypse – Ignorance, Stupidity, Vanity and Greed.

        • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

          The Four Horse’s Asses of the Trumpocalypse.

      • Mr. Blobfish

        Invasion of the Possum People

    • Wolf Tracker

      Would you lose your train of thought if Ivanka walked into the room and be honest?

      • UncleTravelingMatt

        Only to the extent that I’d wonder why people are crashing a fairly important meeting.

        • sarafina

          Yes, where was John Kelly??? I thought he was monitoring that sort of thing.

      • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

        Yes. For approximately 1.993 milliseconds.

        And then I would pass gas. Loudly.

      • NastyBossetti

        Yes, because she has no business in any of my meetings, much like she has no business in the white house. So I would lose my train of thought long enough to tell her to get the fuck out.

      • BigCSouthside

        I honestly don’t think she’s that attractive. Something about her looks just looks “off”. Like a surgeon struggled really hard against bad genetics and got it about 75% there

        • janecita

          You have to admit though, that her plastic surgeon is a magician. Those are awful genes.

        • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

          Ivanka looks too fake and gaudy. I’m also attracted to personality. Ivanka comes across as having the personality of a piece of samsonite luggage. A walking mehburger.

          • Roadstergal

            Her only personality is personal enrichment. She’ll parrot out anything she thinks the listener wants to hear, and in such a bland fashion that you forget her words minutes later. It’s intentional, and it’s shitty.

      • janecita

        Yes, I would be like; “What is this bitch doing at a Planned Parenthood site?” Then I would bitch her out.

        • Roadstergal

          But have you heard her super important message about maybe not doing ‘bortions no more and selling shoes instead??

      • Edith Prickly

        Only long enough to say “Come back later dear, the adults are talking.”

      • natoslug

        Yes. I’m not used to people being in my room.

      • CripesAmighty

        When I was 12.

      • Rags

        no

    • BigCSouthside

      She’s got to make sure dear old dad isn’t having one of his “episodes” peeing in an Oval Office planter while reciting Mein Kampf or something.

    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      She’s the good-looking vampire…

      • mary5920

        She does look like Buffy but she’s no vampire slayer.

        • Toomush_Inferesistance

          Nah, just vampire….

    • Vincent Ricola

      If it’s someone really important, she sings her special song for them…

      🎶 I’ve written a letter to dahdeee
      His address is Heaven above… 🎶

    • Rags

      She was too late – the monitors realized that 4-5 was going off the rails on the deal and sent her in to try and distract/stop him.

      • sarafina

        Do you think Yertle, Lyin’ Ryan or the walking dick hit the silent panic button?

  • TJ Barke

    Republicans don’t negotiate at all. They just throw tantrums.

    • Skwerl the Nazi Puncher

      And issue ultimatums.

      • SisterArtemis

        And have bad hair. Just sayin’

        • IdRatherBeDancing

          and potato-chip lips

      • IdRatherBeDancing

        and take hostages

  • Skeptical_thinker

    Does this prove that Nancy has a bigger dick than Trump?

  • Mr. Blobfish

    Taylor Swift is writing a breakup song about trump and the GOP.

  • Vanky strolling in on Pelosi in the Oval probably went something like this:

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/c2b213bf596fd9b973fe988be6ad66d081bd4b935e2376e273236fd67881c67a.gif

    • Antonin Dvorak

      I don’t know why the driver is so upset; there is still like a 25% chance her plan could work.

    • Bub, the cynical zombie

      Don’t give up so easily! She could be gay!

    • Wolf Tracker

      I think it was meant more to distract the Reps and Trump.

      Trump is sick that way.

    • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

      Too perfect.

    • pstokk

      I never thought this before but I could see myself in law enforcement. Are they recruiting?

    • IdRatherBeDancing

      Is that Adrienne Barbeau? What is she doing now?

      • The lovely Adrienne Barbeau and the lovely Valerie Perrine.

        I hope both are fine.

        • IdRatherBeDancing

          Love Valerie Perrine! From what 70’s era flick?

          • Werewolf

            I think Cannonball Run.

          • IdRatherBeDancing

            yes!

          • I think it was from Cannonball Run….a poor remake of Gumball Rally.

    • mailman27

      Hey now.

  • mary5920

    I would like to repeat here: Chuck Schumer and Nancy Pelosi are very good at their jobs.
    They might not do all the things that would bring world peace as that would take a different populace combined with royal powers, but this is a good result. May it actually come to pass without some body screwing it up.

  • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos
    • jesterpunk

      I hope this doesnt sound bad but only 2 deaths is pretty good. It could have been a whole lot worse.

      • SisterArtemis

        Unfortunately, it will be worse, just because of the odds. Hopefully, it won’t be a whole lot worse, like hundreds or thousands.

        • jesterpunk

          Yeah true, I hope they are able to get a majority of people in the path someplace safe until its over.

  • Marceline

    But let’s remember that we need to get rid of Schumer and Pelosi because we need “fresh faces” in leadership.

    • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

      with new ideas! people who excite the base!
      /s

      You what excites this liberal – fucking progress.

    • OrG

      I never understood the hate on Pelosi.

      • jesterpunk

        She is a vagina having female.

      • Ms.MLG on Maui

        Vagina

      • 🐶 BRAINTHRUST 5000 🐶

        She has lady parts.

      • 🐶 BRAINTHRUST 5000 🐶

        Ah, a rare triple jinx.

      • BigCSouthside

        Fox, rush etc just brazenly lie about her for 20 years. Same reason why stupid fuck trump voters hate Hillary but can’t cite a genuine reason why

        • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

          Hint: Pelosi and Hillary have vaginas. Edited to add: should have scrolled down.

      • Marceline

        Wussified lefties have bought into the fiction that she costs us races because the GOP attacks her relentlessly. They ignore the fact that the GOP does that because she’s good at her job.

        • BigCSouthside

          We can’t ignore that the GOP is REALLY good at propaganda, and we are not good at fighting back.

          Flat out it makes for a liability in tight races. The anti-Hillary propaganda may have sank her with low info swing voters. People forget she had a staggeringly high approve rating when she left State.

          Obama was a hard target. The propagandists had little to work with since he was young and early in his public career. They couldn’t land many punches on him. They cultivate anti Hillary/pelosi/schumer material for decades, and it works.

        • thegirlwiththekittentattoo

          Plus there’s a misconception that her job is solely to pander to the base. Of course appealing to voters is the foundation of her work, but her top priority is to whip up votes in the house. And she’s really, really, really good at it. The GOP knows that, and they understand how much damage it would do to an already fractured party to lose such an effective leader.

          • BillEGoatSmirk

            Plus she’s a taskmaster when it comes to fundraising. (Which is offensive in general, but a topic for another day.) The GOP would love to see her gone in that regard.

        • mailman27

          It’s like water off a rock. She’s on to the next thing while they’re still (mistakenly) congratulating themselves about the last one.

        • Hiptobesquare

          Nailed it.

      • sarafina

        She’s a woman who is effective at her job, and probably doesn’t smile as much as she should. Republicans hate that, and many other people do too.

        • Hiptobesquare

          Plus, and also, she’s not young. Ageism AND sexism, all in one mighty, super-competent package!

    • Persistent Demme

      There are malcontents on the left that want to get rid of her here in San Francisco.
      I’m not worried, though.
      They are lazy, don’t walk the walk, and think they can fight this battle with hashtags.

    • The Other Tim

      They also went to a party in the Hamptons or something.

      • Perkniticky

        Or more to the point, they know people on……Wall Street!*

        *we all know what that means.

    • Snopes Shop

      Fresh dicks.

  • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

    CNN tells me trump is talking tax reform at a North Dakota refinery.

    Hopefully those folks (whom I sure were mandated to attend, off the clock) recognize it’s only going to make their bosses richer, not them.

    • TJ Barke
    • Wolf Tracker

      All talk and until they have an actual tax plan the CBO scores that is all they will have because when the CBO gets through with it all their big tax cuts go bye bye.

      That money is already being spent on disaster relief with much more to come.

    • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

      omg this fucking guy (just now, paraphrased from memory):
      “I just talked to a leader of a major country, big country, big country. Some people say the U.S. is big, this country is big.”

      • Crank Tango

        Talk about a gifted orator.

        • natoslug

          Shouldn’t gifted be in quotes in that sentence? Also, he sure as fuck is no cunning linguist.

          • Crank Tango

            I’ll have to check the Wonket™ style guide next time.

        • sarafina

          Then talk about someone else.

      • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

        Nobody likes a Braggart, Donnie.

      • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

        he says the leaders of other country’s saying their not doing good with GDP of 7 and 9%

        Says our is 1.5%, “some say less.”

        Brags that last quarter our GDP was at 3% – big applause.

        Sigh.

      • sarafina

        Studies have shown the orange shitgibbon’s vocabulary is limited to 150 words. (I read it on the internet, it must be true.)

        • Roadstergal

          He has the best 150 words.

    • Bub, the cynical zombie

      He should give an address at a distillery. Then everyone can get blind drunk after listening to him.

      • jesterpunk

        Why wait until after he is done? If your drunk enough he might actually start to make some sense.

        • Bub, the cynical zombie

          That doesn’t work. Believe me, I’ve tried…

        • Roadstergal

          I tried to get stoned and watch some of his shite on YouTube. Bad, bad, bigly bad idea.

        • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

          When I get drunk, I go the “funny drunk” way. If I was listening to Trump while drinking, I fear that I would become the “mean drunk”. I don’t want that to happen!

          • jesterpunk

            Good point.

      • natoslug

        He should give an address at a rotten tomato and cabbages factory.

    • TimResistit

      Please, They’ll run right out and vote for him again because the demmy crat will be a big librul french-loving muslim “loser” and kisses other boys or some shit that they fall for everytime.

      Let’s cut to the chase and end this democracy already, I’m sick of hearing the death rattles.

      • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

        to be honest, I can see why. He makes a bizarre kind of sense.

        (Just said one business that’s not going to do well is the tax prep industry. “H&R Block is not going to like Donald Trump”).

    • Marceline

      Stop waiting for Trump voters to get a clue. They don’t care about economics. They vote white supremacy.

    • george lastrapes

      But those folks are like habitually abused spouses. “This time, he really means it when he says he’ll quit lying to/cheating on/beating me, I just know it!”

  • CripesAmighty

    Folded, spindled, mutilated.

  • Thorn Spike

    What nuts?

    • thewendyb

      His wingnuts?

  • Ωbjectifier

    OT nice time? While other airlines are jacking up airfares out of FL, JetBlue goes a different way.

    http://www.businessinsider.com/hurricane-irma-evacuation-jetblue-discounts-flights-99-dollars-2017-9

    • Résistance Land Shark Ω

      Socialists!

      (I make it a point to fly JB to the left coast … very nice people in general)

      • Zyxomma

        I agree. The ex and I missed a JB flight to Phoenix (he was always late), and they exchanged our tickets for a flight to Las Vegas. Our destination was Patagonia, AZ, and we drove in our big, comfortable rental car past Hoover Dam under a full moon. Jet Blue were very accommodating, and I was appreciative, having had only a horrible previous experience with missing a flight. I did have to sit in the front row, where the legroom is very tight even for a tiny person like me, but that was okay, considering.

        • sarafina

          I think United’s truly appalling activities (and the exposure they got) have warned all airlines to clean up their acts. But the Jet Blue thing is great.

  • Marceline

    I can’t help but notice that the Repubs wanted to push the debt limit past the 2018 elections. It’s like they know they may have some trouble then.

    • Roadstergal

      I can’t help but notice that the Ebul Establishment Democrats couldn’t help but notice the same fact, and make some hay with it.

      • JustDon’tSayDignity

        I can’t help but observe that you both may be on to something right there.

        • sarafina

          I think Marceline is very on point.

          • DonaldDGasaway

            Google is paying 97$ per hour! Work for few hours and have longer with friends & family!!!
            On tuesday I got a great new Land Rover Range Rover from having earned $8752 this last four weeks.. Its the most-financialy rewarding I’ve had.. It sounds unbelievable but you wont forgive yourself if you don’t check it
            >>>http://GoogleFinancialJobsCash690TopRush/GetPay$97/Hour….

  • Roadstergal

    “We agreed to a three-month extension on debt ceiling, which they consider to be sacred”

    I remember a writing tip from Mark Twain, to the effect that one should use the proper word in any given context, rather than its distant cousin.

    • NotDarkYet

      “The difference between the almost right word and the right word is really a large matter. ’tis the difference between the lightning bug and the lightning.”

      • sarafina

        I don’t understand what “sacred” means in that context. Is it next to godly?

        Did he misspell scared?

        Does “sacred” refer to the ‘debt ceiling’ or ‘a three-month extension’?

        • Roadstergal

          “I don’t understand what “sacred” means in that context”

          To be fair, neither did Donnie.

        • NotDarkYet

          Proper understanding and application of grammar/sentence structure would dictate “debt ceiling” to be the noun that “which” refers to; however, considering what we know about Trump’s facility with language … who knows? Could be sacral, too … maybe he’s into chacras?

  • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist
  • unclejeems

    What do you expect. It’s the party of government vs. the party of “no, ain’t got nuthin, no, nuh-uh, no way.”

  • Sean Jungian

    I hope they didn’t promise him a single brick in that stupid wall.

  • Saxo the Grammarian

    Trump Addendum: “I’ll take the undercoating and the extended warranty.”

    • Chuck and Nancy: “Not everyone is smart enough to take that. Good Donnie. Good.“

    • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

      comment of the day!

  • Connor

    I eagerly anticipate the deleted comments for this post.

  • NotDarkYet

    Normally, he has to pay extra for the cock-slapping stuff…

    • Latverian Diplomat

      The extra is a “finder’s fee” so to speak.

      • NotDarkYet

        Three words: tweezers + magnifying glass

  • Roh roh.
    https://youtu.be/4VH8w5VzPQw

    Trump got Rick Rolled

  • SterWonk

    Question: why is a shorter debt-ceiling raise in our favor? The entire concept is absurd; shouldn’t we be going for eliminating the debt-ceiling all together?

    • jowgajen

      Debt ceiling is just a description of a Constitutionally mandated function of Congress. The current mechanism is just a way of forcing Congress to actually vote periodically rather than automating the process. But they do have to authorize the money in some fashion and while debt growth in line with GDP growth is generally seen as harmless or at least maintaining the status quo, it’s not agreed upon that higher burdens of debt are harmless.

      • SterWonk

        You increase the statutory limit at the same time you authorize the spending. That’s the way we did it for years, and that’s what makes sense – you approve the spending, and you simultaneously approve borrowing as needed. The way we do it now, decoupled from budgeting, allows for periodic grandstanding and for dicking around with the budget after it was already debated and passed.

    • sarafina

      Dreamers only have 6 months. In December that useless Pelosi and Schumer will again hornswoggle the orange shitgibbon into giving them (Nancy&Chuck) everything they ask for.

      (Yes, get rid of the asinine debt ceiling, I concur. But we’re HAPPY now!!)

    • BoatOfVelociraptors

      It also runs out the clock, with a lot of procedural crap, blocking an all R agenda.

      • The Ol’ Pussy Grabber understands none of this. He doesn’t realize how much he’s tied up the GOP agenda. Ryan and McConnell do. It’ll be interesting to see how they play the Ol’ Pussy Grabber who only can punch people in the nuts. He will never do anything that can even be remotely deemed as constructive. It will always be destructive.

    • Pepe Syliva

      It is all about the politics.

      You see there is a group of bat shit insane, divorced from reality lawmakers in the House of Representatives called the Freedom Caucus. They don’t want to ever raise the Debt Ceiling. Ever. I don’t think they really understand it. But the guys whose money runs the GOP (the 0.1 % / Oligarchs / Kochs / Mercers / etc.) need the Debt Ceiling to be raised because their personal wealth is tied to the credit worthiness of the United States. Failing to increase the Debt Ceiling could quite simply be apocalyptic for financial markets across the world, and the credit worthiness of the United States would take a hit. So the Debt Ceiling has to be raised regardless of what the idiot Freedom Caucus / Teaparty / Alt Right wing of the GOP wants or thinks because the moneyed GOP interests are going to always protect their wealth.

      Now the short term window on the new deal is essentially a toll booth constructed by Pelosi and Schumer. When it becomes time to raise the Debt Ceiling in December, Pelosi and Schumer will be able to collect another toll again, because as I’ve already said the Freedom Caucus is never ever going to increase the Debt Ceiling. So Ryan is always going to need to find those 35 votes from the Democratic side of the aisle. Top priorities for Pelosi and Schumer should be to stabilize and fix Obamacare and to get the Dreamers permanent status. These are not only the right thing to do morally but they have the added political bonus of driving the far right wing of GOP frickin crazy. They will want GOP scalps and the first one they’re going to want is going to be Ryan’s. There will be a huge intraparty fight and it will depress their voter turnout in the midterms.

      As hard as it is to believe, the zealotry of the far right of the GOP is actually an asset to the Democrats.

      • SterWonk

        I actually am familiar with the debt ceiling – I’m not new here, and this isn’t my first rodeo. :-p

        But, your “toll booth” analogy makes sense — since Ryan and McConnell are crazy, but they’re not crazy-crazy, they’ll agree to raise the ceiling again. But since lots of their party are crazy-crazy, they’ll need Democrats to do it, and we can get concessions for it. That makes sense.

      • Persistent Demme

        Thank you for that wonderful explanation.
        (Are you a teacher?)

      • So this is great other than being totally corrupt and undemocratic.

      • ahughes798

        Thank you for the explainer. The debt ceiling thing has always confused me. I disagree with the top priorities, though. #1 Should be to stabilise and fix OBamacare. #2 Should be making life better for poor and middle class people by bringing good jobs back to the US, or creating ones that will replace the good jobs of yore. #3 Should be adequately funding schools in poor and rural areas, and making 2 years of community college or trade schools free, which will help with #2. #4 Should be addressing environmental issues. I read an article today that said 83% of the world’s supply of drinking water contains plastic fibers. I’d put DACA in the top 10.

  • george lastrapes

    Is he pivoting to the Democrats? Has he realized that his last shot at relevancy is to work with his erstwhile nemeses? Nay, to become their poodle? All for a doggie-bikkie and a scratch behind the ears? Fetch, roll over, and poop on command? At long last, love and a forever home in the hearts of prog-libs?
    Can he dance his way into the hearts of millions (about thirty millions, give-or-take)? Stranger things have happened, somewhere, somewhen, I think, maybe.

    • Persistent Demme

      I’m sure I speak for all of us, when I say, we could do without the pooping.

    • Relativicus

      No.

      • george lastrapes

        Oh.

    • Hiptobesquare

      Rec’d for excellence, but also for “a doggie-bikkie.” Thought my dogs were the only ones who responded to that….

      • george lastrapes

        Thankew! I acquired ‘doggie-bikky’ from an English lady friend, yrs’n’yrs ago. Also ‘horrid horrid little fuck’. She was referring to a conservative Texas politician. Love the Briticisms.

      • george lastrapes

        It would be very Trumpesque for him to leave the Republicans, now that he has gnawed a hole in the hull of their slave-ship, paddling off to crawl on board with, who else, Democrats. He would say that he was deceived by evil counsel, fire all but the generals, ground his misbehaving kids, announce that all along he has been progressive (but not liberal). Perhaps his base could forgive him. Chaos intoxicates them, anyway.
        Crazy talk, I know. But the Strumpet has a knack of turning crazy talk into reality.

  • Marsupial99

    OMG, I am so glad that I stopped by to check the “late” posts today! This is gold!!

    Also: Truck Fump!

  • Blackest Noobs

    it’s a small victory Dems…but i like where this is going..KEEP IT UP!
    The Republicans have themselves a problem. they are fucking clueless about governing as we all have witnessed…they’re pretty good at fucking obstructing everything but actually doing the work they were hired to do..nah.

    The Democrats are a bit better at this governing thing, they seemed to get it, and bonus, they believe in govt ( unlike the shitheads with R’s by their names) so that right there is literally HALF THE FUCKING BATTLE.

    so what the problem?

    Republicans are seriously good at getting elected….Dems….not so much.
    Republicans are seriously bad at governing ( they couldn’t do it to save their lives)…Dems..they’re helluva better at it ( they aint perfect but at the very least can do the most rudimentary parts of their jobs)

    alas Dems need to keep it up, keep winning it, and maybe….just maybe they’ll get their act together and get the 2nd part of the equation done right…i.e. winning some goddamn elections.

  • bluicebank

    Or MAYBE Donnie is determined to win 1st place in the World Asshole contest, and if that requires also being a dick to his GOP bitches, so be it.

    Which pretty much clears Donnie of being a simple racist. He hates everybody, making him a bigot. Well, not Ivanka. He definitely likes her.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/3d362f99b58f44fd076cdf9fc3e92c5fe0343026e182cf0e999fdcf003968f34.jpg

    • Roadstergal

      He’s utterly incapable of not being skin-crawlingly pervert creepy when it comes to Ivanka.

    • Covfefe

      My dotter used to go everywhere with me. Ended when she was 11.

      • bluicebank

        The Trumps make dysfunctional families feel they ain’t got it so bad, after all.

        • Dinz6315

          Disfunction is a step up for this lot.

    • Persistent Demme

      My girls make fun of me if I call Mr. Demme, “daddy.”
      (I’m fine with it. THEY don’t like it.)

      • ahughes798

        I would immediately leave any man who started calling me “mommy.” So squicky.

        • Persistent Demme

          I totally agree.
          I realize I wasn’t clear. Sorry.
          They don’t like it when I refer to him as THEIR DADDY.
          I never refer to him MY daddy, (too Pence-like).
          *shudder*

          • ahughes798

            Oh, okay. I know couples who refer to each other as mommy and daddy. Grosses me the hell out! Why do they not like it when you call him their “Daddy?” Ah….kids these days! LOL!

          • puredog

            One of my least favorite things about Reagan, and there were so many.

    • Ivanka musta pissed him off somehow. That is pretty classic “belittling” he is doing there.

      • Toledo Window Box

        Shrewd. Poor Eric looks like he’s gotten the brunt of it through the years. I know some kids of powerful egomaniacs, it’s all the same.

  • The Librarian

    Trump is the chaotic ex-spouse who lets the kids eat too much candy and has no rules. Nancy is the reasonable ex-spouse who along with new spouse Chuck has boundaries and makes the kids go to sleep at a decent hour because school.

    I go with what I know.

  • CATMAN

    I saw a clip of the meeting with Ivanka on CNN–it clearly showed Kevin McCarthy sitting next to her do the sideways glance checking out her tits, so maybe that’s why the meeting went off topic

    • Tony Zimmerman

      You mentioned Ivanka’s tits and I immediately forgot what this was about. Sorry.

  • mailman27

    Schumer: Now here’s the deal…
    Trump: Again with the finger!!

  • sosuume
    • Saxo the Grammarian

      I. Can’t. Unsee. That.

  • pgjack

    Schumer and Pelosi are both good at their jobs the their jobs are working with others to govern the country. Bernie Bros and Trump Hos want to rule the country. The Constitution says it doesn’t work that way.

    • Persistent Demme

      Quite a rhyme there!

    • ahughes798

      Anybody who is President “rules” the country. Why? Because they can appoint Supreme Court justices whose votes can effect every aspect of your life. If that’s not ruling, I don’t know what is.

      • Jim Johnson

        They can certainly ruin the country with evil justices.

  • thewendyb

    This article is utterly magnificent. Full of win. Evan, may I marry your articlr and have its bouncy word-babies, forever and ever amen?

    • Jukesgrrl

      May you be fertile and multiply.

      • Canned Covfefe

        “…and multiply.”. Um, that’s math not wordy things. And don’t go trying the ole but word problems thing.

  • Last Hussar
  • Jukesgrrl

    My heroes! Something to be said for old-school political tactics, whatever they might have been in this case. I hope this is the last I hear about Pelosi being too old for her job.

    • Maybe

      Sadly, it won’t be.

  • dshwa

    Pelosi is the odds on favorite of Wonkette’s coveted Legislative badass of the year.

    • Toledo Window Box

      She kicked it pretty good when she had the majority. Very productive.

  • Or is the Ol’ Pussy Grabber such a malignant narcissistic prick that he went against Ryan and McConnell just because he’s pissed at them and wants to “teach them a lesson?” Nancy & Chuck knew this to be the case because the Ol’ Pussy Grabber is so easy to manipulate once you know his narcissistic buttons to push and recognize when his malignancy is acting up.

    • eddi_the_Bad_Hombre

      The Dems have been dealing with ideologues so long they know all the proper words and music to make them dance like puppets. Dealing with a moronic ideologue is like using a flamethrower on a mosquito.

  • Incoming Ham

    The bestest DACA protest sign:

    “Roses are red, tacos are enjoyable, don’t blame Mexicans if you’re unemployable.”

    Every word was spelled correctly.

    • Saxo the Grammarian

      ¡Yo apruebo este mensaje!

  • I am thinking the did something wall related. Trump would ditch everything he has for that stupid fucking wall.

    • eddi_the_Bad_Hombre

      And he will ditch the wall if he gets a sweeter deal. He’s already shafted his base why not go big?

    • That fucking wall…has any normal human ever given a single fuck about the border with Mexico? It has never entered my consciousness in 64 years of life.

      • I Happened

        Most people who live far from the border think it’s a stupid idea. Now if we can just convince those who don’t and law enforcement responsible for border security, we’ll be home free.

        • Whollyholeyholy

          Inaccurate. Most people who live near the border think it is a stupid idea. Did you know that none of the Texas delegation supports it?

          • I Happened

            You mean Senator’s Fernandez, Gonzalez, Hernandez, Gomez, and Zapata?? Gee imagine my surprise.

          • Whollyholeyholy

            And something like 61% of adult citizens in Texas oppose. I think the numbers are similar for New Mexico, and surely there’s higher opposition than that in California. The thing is, the closer you are to the issue, the more likely you are to A.) know people who are undocumented and B.) know that they didn’t wade across the border.

          • Maybe

            This would be relevant if our government actually represent ordinary people.

            Too often they represent the rich and the Repubs use the radical right as a tool and a weapon.

            I think they are a little surprised that it’s being aimed at them.

            The Breitbart faction and Russia now have the President they want. In 2018 I suspect they want to create a Trump-friendlier Congress. It is going to be much easier to get a Trumpster elected in a Red area than a Blue one. Incumbent Repubs need to watch their back.

          • Maybe

            That’s not all I am imagining about you. Why do those names bother you so much?

        • People in Maine and Texas think it’s dumb; it’s those in-between dopes in Indiana that think it’s the bee’s knees.

        • BeachBum

          That is true I think. A lot of people who live near the border don’t want the wall either. It would take thousands of acres of private land by eminent domain, change the wildlife movements, and the ecology and environment in general. It would bring Big Govt to people who really don’t want it. They mostly live there for peace and quiet. Most of the people down there don’t care if a few immigrants cross their land once in a while.

          • Maybe

            It would also present a watery dilemma since part of the border is the Rio Grande river. Do we build the wall down the middle? Dumb.

            We could build it on our side, but that effectively gives the river to Mexico.

            And, despite any future Trumpian fantasies, Mexico is not going to let us build it on their side.

      • BeachBum

        I have. IMO we need more border crossings. Legal of course. It is always so hard to get back unless it is after midnight during the week. Would help both economies and understanding for all of us.

        • Maybe

          We need to make the illegal ones legal. The U.S. is an aging society. We should be welcoming young workers. I mean, someone has to pay for my SS.

    • SDGeoff3

      Do fucking walls have glory holes?

  • BreakingDeadMen

    I’m not sure I’m understanding this–the D’s want a shorter debt ceiling because it makes it harder for the R’s to do any wall or other fuckery? Because otherwise, ending brinksmanship over the stupid debt ceiling seems OK to me.

    • Maybe

      An 18 month extension would put the next voting past the midterm elections. The Repubs do not want to have to vote to extend (and they do have to) before an election.

      • BreakingDeadMen

        AH, got it.

      • Phrederic

        So the GOP got super-duper fucked.

        They are so bad at this.

        • Maybe

          Well, they have spent the last 8 years practicing blocking all governing from being done. They are the ones who weaponized the Debt Ceiling, which is not a spending bill at all. It only authorizes paying for what Congress has already spent. It used to be automatic.

          The GOP unites at elections (I wish Dems did), but at all other times it is at least two parties and at least one of them is bat-sh*t crazy.

      • BeachBum

        IDK but I haven’t heard any tax cut plan agreed upon by any decent number of Repubs. My guess is they need a lot of time to get a consensus. The alternative would be to simply add it to the debt, but to do that they would need Dems and give concessions. DACA, the Wall, ACA, who knows what. So they need 18 mos to get their shit into one sock. They hoped.

        • Maybe

          I also haven’t heard of a plan, but it’s possible the Congresscritters have a secret one. Maybe the lobbyists are writing it for them.

          Consensus is going to be tricky. While Repubs are always agreeable to cutting taxes on the rich, I believe the Parliamentarian has said they cannot use reconciliation for their “tax reform.” That means they need 60 votes instead of 51. They need Dems.

          I think the Repubs fully intend to just add it to the debt, despite the huge costs of the recent and ongoing hurricanes. Adding to the national debt is only a sin when Dems do it.

          The deal Trump just made with the Dems also made life tougher for the Repubs. I don’t fully understand it, but it gives the Dems more leverage in December when the next vote comes up after this 3-month extension. Since the radical righters will not vote to raise the Debt Ceiling, the Dems should be able to demand a price for their votes. The Repubs have also lost the leverage they had over the Freedom Caucus, many of whom are Repubs and wanted Harvey relief quickly.

          Sad, as Trump would say.

  • Maybe

    I can understand the Repubs wanting an 18 month debt ceiling extension, but wouldn’t 6 be worse for them than 3? That would be closer to the elections in November.

  • BreakingDeadMen

    Conspiracy Theories

    1.) The Moon Landing was faked
    2.) Cuba and the CIA collaborated on the Kennedy assassinations
    3.) Donald Trump never molested Ivanka or any of his other children.

    • Jim Johnson

      4) Jared does NOT have tapes of those Dad/Daughter date nights that did not happen.

  • eddi_the_Bad_Hombre

    The delicious tears of the Rebel leaders make my evening.

    GOP livid after Trump cuts deal with Democrats
    http://www.politico.com/story/2017/09/06/hill-trump-relations-242411

    What they forget is Trump does not see them as colleagues but as employees. And he sees Chuck and Nancy as potential investors.

    • BreakingDeadMen

      That’s a very canny observation. Of course, they are both too smart to ever fall for his scheme, but he doesn’t know that.

      • eddi_the_Bad_Hombre

        Trump loves high-end potential investors even if he never sees a penny from them. Because he can name-drop them one or two tiers of VC further down, where they are dumb and desperate.

      • CafeenMan

        Trump can’t comprehend that others are more intelligent than he is. He is the very definition of Dunning-Kruger.

        • BreakingDeadMen

          Yes.

  • Snopes Shop

    Paul Ryan flipping out on teevee HAHAHAHAHAHAH

  • Heyzeus Ahchay

    Noticed Pence was in the room, too, being all patriotic: RED cheeks and WHITE lips cuz he just BLUE the boss.

  • Celtic_Gnome

    If this was Obama, we’d surmise it was another game of eleventy-dimensional chess. With Trump, we might have to give him thuggish cunning. Think McConnell and Ryan got any messages about what might happen if they don’t straighten up and fly right and make Donnie look good.

  • RC

    It would be funny if Trump decides that the GOP is too ineffectual (never mind he’s half their problem) and decides that he’ll just side with the Dems so he can finally use his pen and sign some legislation. hahaha Just the thought of the looks on McConnell and Ryan’s faces makes me giggle.

  • Toledo Window Box

    Donald has it bad for Pelosi.

    • Unsaintific

      Jesus!

  • DonaldDGasaway

    Google is paying 97$ per hour! Work for few hours and have longer with friends & family!!!
    On tuesday I got a great new Land Rover Range Rover from having earned $8752 this last four weeks.. Its the most-financialy rewarding I’ve had.. It sounds unbelievable but you wont forgive yourself if you don’t check it
    >>>http://GoogleFinancialJobsCash690TopRush/GetPay$97/Hour

    • LesBontemps

      Jennifer!! Is that Lori’s head in your freezer??!!!?!??!???!!!!?11

      • BeachLoafer

        And _what_ have you done with her car?!?!?

  • SeeTrain65

    “Chuck And Nancy”

    Not a great Sex Pistols docudrama, but pretty damn good at their jobs.

    • Spidey Super Comments

      Never mind the Pee Tape, Here’s the Dem Pistols.

  • mardam422

    Seems “Chuck and Nancy” have a better bead on old Smallgloves than his Republican handlers. Played him. And through him, them, too. Now, where are all the “replace Pelosi” people? I have a bitch-slap for them, too.

    • Stulexington

      Not to mention a healthy portion of crow.

    • Snopes Shop

      They haven’t moved from their position that she NEEDS TO GO!

      • mardam422

        Yeah, like Scalise or Hoyer have the cajones to pull this off. GMAB.

  • mardam422

    Trump: Eighteen months, Paul? What’s that Nancy? No? But what about Harvey? Oh, hello!! Everyone, say hi to Ivanka. You know if I weren’t her father I’d tell you she had nice tits. What’s that Nancy?
    Pelosi: Three months.
    Trump’s brain while looking at Ivanka: Squeeze mons? Yes, squeeze mons.
    Trump: Yes!!

    • Johnny Appleseed

      Rumor is that Yertle and Rino Ryan (as they prefer to call him) we’re just stunned that she dropped by to say “hello”. What happened to Sentry Kelly guarding the door? Or did she flash him and smile? Maybe a reach…”shhh, don’t tell Jared”?

  • Whollyholeyholy

    I met Nancy Pelosi on a flight. She was awesome, chatted with my little girl. I was totally and completely star struck. Unlike the time I sat and talked about weather on a ski lift with Elizabeth Banks and didn’t even know who she was. I am an unashamed dork.

  • SDGeoff3

    If the positive press coverage keeps Trump in a mood to work with Democrats, fine by me.

  • BeachBum

    I beginning to think the Repubs in Congress have a slight misunderstanding with their rank and file voters. Republicans wanted a pres with no experience or understanding of governing, and elected someone to make deals, and shake things up. So Trump makes a deal with Dems and the GOP is all shook up. Sounds about right to me.
    Also for those Repubs who supported Trump cause he will sign anything they passed, may begin to see a flaw in their plan. That is, they first have to pass something.

  • BeachLoafer

    I have found very little (ok, not a fucking thing) to enjoy about this particular presidency (using the term loosely), but Chuck and Nancy taking the entire WH, House, and Senate Republican leadership to the cleaners makes me smile.

    I’ll be in SF next week, wish I could buy Nancy a drink (or twelve).

  • Maree Martin

    It could also be that Trump acted like the 4 year old he is and said to the Republicans, “If you don’t let me play, I’m gonna take my ball and go home…to Chuck and Nancy!” *pouty face* I’m predicting today that Trump runs for re-election as an Independent.

  • Husband Of Mrs God

    The donald is a tool. He just wants some semblance of prestige, to be involved in some way with something popular. Maybe he can possibly be useful, but he never should have been and never should be president.

  • cosmiccowgirl

    Pelosi is also supposedly the one who told Trump to tweet reassuring words about DACA. If Trump and the Dems get behind the DREAM Act, maybe it will pass. That would be a weird miracle.

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