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Maybe it would be easier to ask how he’s NOT fucking the republic.

After Trump-loving super-moron Devin Nunes “recused” himself (he really didn’t) from the House Intelligence Committee’s investigation into connections between Donald Trump’s campaign and Russia, we were supposed to believe the new GOP leadership, under Rep. Mike Conaway, was going to act growned up and patriotic and work with Democrats to get to the bottom of one of the most important questions our nation has ever faced, namely whether the sitting president and/or his people colluded with a hostile foreign power to steal the Oval Office. That has not happened. Instead, moron Republicans on the committee, actually led in everything but name by Rep. Trey Gowdy (R-Benghazi), have turned their efforts to trying to smear the very existence of the Steele Dossier, the collection of raw intelligence compiled by British spy Christopher Steele.

In that spirit, Gowdy and his fellow Republicans on the committee have sent subpoenas to the FBI and the Justice Department, because … wait, what? No, for real, what the fuck is Gowdy up to here? The story was broken by the Washington Examiner, because that’s where wingnut propaganda stories break, we guess:

In the most significant escalation yet in the wrangling between Congress and the FBI over the Trump dossier, the House Intelligence Committee has subpoenaed the bureau and the Justice Department for documents relating to the dossier, the FBI’s relationship with dossier author Christopher Steele, and the bureau’s possible role in supporting what began as an opposition research project against candidate Donald Trump in the final months of last year’s presidential campaign.

The subpoenas are an indication of growing frustration inside the committee over the FBI and Justice Department’s lack of cooperation in the Trump-Russia investigation.

Hahaha, let us translate from Washington Examiner into normal human reality-based English! Trey Gowdy and Devin Nunes (who again, is not really “recused,” especially considering how two of his buttboys showed up at Christopher Steele’s lawyer’s office in the UK this summer, for “reason”) are really pissed off that the FBI and the Justice Department — i.e. the monstrous “Deep State” of Americans who actually love America instead of flip-topping their throats open for Donald Trump’s dick, like Gowdy and Nunes do — are actually focused on the Trump-Russia investigation, as opposed to doing Trump’s bidding by investigating “leaks” and “wire tapps” and the REAL Trump-Russia conspiracy, which is that the Democrats concocted the Trump-Russia conspiracy in order for Hillary Clinton to steal the election FROM HERSELF, and that Fusion GPS, the intelligence firm that originally hired Steele, also had a Russian client one time, which must mean ALL THE FIRM’S WORK is for the Russians.

It just makes sense, as long as wingnut conspiracy raccoons live inside your brain and are fucking each other right now.

If you’ll remember, Senator Chuck Grassley, whose sexually active brain raccoons are named Fran and Gunther, has been leading his own similar effort in the Senate Intelligence Committee, putting the dossier on trial, instead of actually trying to do a Trump-Russia investigation.

For those who need it, here is a quick recap on what actually happened last year with the creation of the dossier: Last summer, a “Republican client” contracted with Steele to do run-of-the-mill oppo research on Donald Trump. After Trump got the nomination, the spy’s work continued, paid by somebody “allied with Democrats.” But then he started finding “HOLY SHIT!” connections between Trump and the Russians, to the point that he wasn’t just working for his client anymore. In fact, his findings freaked him out so much that he thought the FBI needed to see what he was seeing. And class, do we remember who ultimately handed then-FBI Director James Comey what is now known as the Steele Dossier? DING DING DING, it was John McCain!

Now, that’s pretty simple as spy narratives go, but it’s still too difficult for Trey Gowdy’s Foghorn Leghorn ass to understand, so he still is full of #confuse:

Like investigators with the Senate Judiciary Committee, who are also pursuing information about the dossier, the House committee wants to know the origin of the FBI’s involvement in the creation of the document. They are particularly interested to know whether the FBI or Justice Department ever presented information from the dossier — unverified, possibly from paid informants — to a court as a basis for obtaining a surveillance warrant in the Russia investigation.

The FBI’s involvement in … the creation of the dossier? But we literally just explained that  McCain gave them the … oh fuck it.

“I want to know the extent to which it was relied upon, if at all, by any of our intelligence agencies or federal law enforcement agencies,” Gowdy said, “and to the extent it was relied upon, how did they vet, or either corroborate or contradict, the information in it?”

Perhaps somebody can sit Gowdy’s dumb ass down and affix a helmet to his head (for his own protection, because stupid people need helmets) and explain that yes, the FBI has used the dossier of raw intelligence, to investigate and verify its claims, and in some cases to debunk them, because THAT’S WHAT YOU DO WITH RAW INTELLIGENCE, YOU GODDAMNED HAYSEED ASSFUCK.

So far, the FBI and Justice Department have told Gowdy’s subpoenas to pound sand, so Gowdy has extended their deadline to September 14, which gives the FBI and Justice eight more days to continue telling Gowdy to eat shit.

We are enraged and need more coffee right now, so let’s just agree that we’ve answered the question of how Trey Gowdy is fucking the American republic right now. He’s always doing it in some way or another.

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  • armed_bears

    Trey Gowdy: “The guy, and the haircut, that made Kid Rock seem like a viable option.”

  • Msgr_MΩment

    i.e. the monstrous “Deep State” of Americans who actually love America instead of flip-topping their throats open for Donald Trump’s dick, like Gowdy and Nunes do …

    Evidence lacking that it would reach.

  • Covfefe’s Evil Twin

    Is “Queer Eye for the Straight Guy” still a thing, cause Jesus, Mary and Joseph this fucker could use a makeover.

  • ManchuCandidate

    More proof that Republican, intelligence and Intelligence go together like fire and TNT.

  • Gayer Than Thou

    O/T: super closeted gay Republicans – your self-hate is toxic for you, everyone around you, and, ultimately, the Republic itself. Just had to get that off my chest.

  • Vincent Ricola

    I don’t know why everyone won’t just believe that James Comey and his Illuminati FBI cohorts spent every day for the last 2 years ignoring Hillary’s violent yoga emails in favor of writing Donald Trump pee hooker fanfic documents. It’s been right in front of us THE WHOLE TIME!11!!

  • schmannity

    They’re trying to dilute the Russian pee dossier. Needz more Gatorade.

  • reelreeler

    Trey Gowdy is to justice what military music is to music

  • shivaskeeper

    Someone like Gowdy should know better. He should know, if not the specifics, at least broadly how intel is gathered, collected, collated, verified, and published.

    As someone on the Intel Committee, even he wouldn;t know all the specifics, but for FFS, this some bullshit to stir up a base who’s idea of spy craft is Jason Bourne and James Bond movies. This is meat for an idiot base in order to cast doubt on anything that may be found and proven based on the dossier.

    • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

      When I look at who the Republicans put on the “Intelligence Committee”, I start to think that it’s just the place where they stick the folks in the caucus that make rutabagas look smart.

      • shivaskeeper

        Which is sad. I have no idea how the closed door sessions go since they are, you know, closed door. I have seen the open sessions and if that’s anything like the closed door, most of them need to be stripped of any security clearance they have and sent on their way.

        Intelligence is not partisan by nature. Reality may have a liberal bias, but it’s really not as partisan as all that,

    • John Thorstensen

      The Intelligence committee leadership seems to have as much intelligence expertise as the science committee leadership has science expertise.

      • bupkus231

        …or the budget committee has economics expertise.

        • Querolous

          …or the House Leadership has leadership expertise.

  • Robbertjan Brandenburg

    NOw this one really looks like they picked him up at a trailerpark, slapped on a suit and was told to do politics.

    • marxalot

      After putting his head in a vice or something. He looks like one of those overbred dogs that doesn’t have room in their head for a brain anymore. Except those are usually, y’know, at least aesthetically pleasing if dumb as toast.

  • bbayliss

    More coffee? yes, please.

  • Rep. Adam Schiff (D-Truth) has come out vehemently opposed to the new focus of the investigation.

    From Roll Call:

    “Rep. Adam B. Schiff, the ranking Democrat on the House Intelligence Committee, accused Republicans on the committee of trying to discredit special counsel Robert Mueller’s investigation into Russian interference in the 2016 election.”

    “I think there’s a view if they discredit Christopher Steele, they can discredit the whole Russia investigation, or the whole Russia involvement in our elections,” he said.

    Rep. Schiff (D-Justice) has got to be the most patient man on earth for dealing with “colleagues” like Gowdy and Nunes day in and day out without calling for a special vote using the secret rusty garden weasel ballot.

  • Mavenmaven

    They are not stupid, they know if they say total BS like this, their idiot followers will repeat it as a meme and it will be “true”. The FBI created the dossier under the orders of Soros-Alinsky, kill the brown people argle bargle.

  • TJ Barke

    Republicans are traitors.

  • schmannity

    The FBI should tell Gowdy to Russian Pee Piss up a rope.

  • JMP

    Why, it’s almost like the Republicans have decided that the good of the party is more important than the good of the country, and are abusing their position to try and use the committee to investigate the President’s treason into aiding the cover-up instead, along with how they’re refusing to even begin hearings on any of his giant pile of non-Russia related crimes.

    • schmannity

      Coming in 2018 with Democratic control of the House: House member impeachments.

  • Persistent Tennessee Rain

    “instead of flip-topping their throats open for Donald Trump’s dick, like Gowdy and Nunes do”

    ^^^^THIS^^^^ is why I love this place. :-)

    • Major_Major_Major

      Would NOT buy the Nunes or Gowdy Pez dispensers, much less the Trump* flavored candies.

      *Flop sweat, cheap spray tanner, Big Mac dingle berries, and a hint of Drakkar Noir.

    • marxalot

      The worst Reach ad.

  • BadKitty904
    • Werewolf

      He *does* have the Innsmouth Look, doesn’t he?

      • BadKitty904

        Horrifyingly so…

      • Permit-holder Ron

        Eww!
        – the Deep Ones

  • So when does this cross the line from ratfucking to obstruction of justice?

    • OrG

      Months ago?

  • schmannity

    You know what’s missing from the House’s dogged investigation of Obama/Deep State disinformation and deception to discredit Der Fuhrer? House Intelligence Committee Member Michele Bachmann.

    • SDGeoff3

      Shhh.

  • Cock Blockula

    “Republicans” and “intelligence”: Two words that rarely belong in the same sentence.

  • TheGrandWazoo2

    “Keep going Trey honey, you’re doing great just like Benghazi!”
    http://www.reactiongifs.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/10/13.gif

    • schmannity

      He’s on target!

      • Permit-holder Ron

        ‘Use the For… err, never mind.’

    • marxalot

      Dangit, it really bugs me when I see pics of kids riding bikes and they’ve gone out with their helmets tilted back like that. Proper helmet placement is forward to the browline, people. Learn it!

    • Lance Thrustwell

      I don’t like videos of kids getting hurt.

      • kareemachan

        I’m with you on this. I never did like ‘America’s Stupidest People Doing Stupid Things’ either.

      • armed_bears

        Second that motion.

      • mappo

        Of course not. But what about when they’re funny?

    • Pinkham’s Law

      I feel sorry for that kid. He saw exactly what was about to happen, he knew it was gonna hurt, but he couldn’t do a damn thing about it.

      Kinda like all of us, November 9th, 2016.

    • Phoenixdoglover

      See the tree. Be the tree.

  • canes_pugnaces

    As the unchallenged wall-eye of Hurricane GOP looks for landfall on democracy, hope is probably not going to save us. Evacuation or a fallout shelter seem like the best choices.

    • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

      Have to say I’m kinda stunned by all the pics out of Miami of people standing in line to by little bottles of water and fill propane bottles.

      People. Get The Fuck Out. That gallon of water will not save you!

      • kareemachan

        But, but, but…. rushie sez it’s just a conspiracy!

  • bookish

    https://www.propublica.org/article/another-thing-disappearing-from-rural-america-maternal-care

    Maternity care is disappearing from America’s rural counties, and for the 28 million women of reproductive age living in those areas, pregnancy and childbirth are becoming more complicated — and more dangerous. That’s the upshot of a new report from the Rural Health Research Center at the University of Minnesota that examined obstetric services in the nation’s 1,984 rural counties over a 10-year period. In 2004, 45 percent of rural counties had no hospitals with obstetric services; by 2014, that figure had jumped to 54 percent. The decline was greatest in heavily black counties and in states with the strictest eligibility rules for Medicaid.

    The decrease in services has enormous implications for women and families, says Katy B. Kozhimannil, an associate professor in health policy who directs the Minnesota center’s research efforts. Rural areas have higher rates of chronic conditions that make pregnancy more challenging, higher rates of childbirth-related hemorrhages — and higher rates of maternal and infant deaths. And because rural counties tend to be poorer, any efforts to revamp or slash Medicaid could hit rural mothers especially hard. We spoke with Kozhimannil about the new study and the implications for maternal care. (The conversation has been edited and condensed.)

  • Christopher Story

    God damn, every time I see that picture I flash back to my tweaker days.

  • PubOption

    But McCain could have obtained the Steele Dossier from the FBI, and then given it back to them.

    • marxalot

      That’s more of a Nunes maneuver.

  • Mr. Blobfish

    I wouldn’t trust Gowdy with a spork.

    • TheGrandWazoo2

      I wouldn’t trust him as far as I could throw Blake Farenthold.

  • OrG

    **wingnuts conspiracy racoons**

    • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

      “Senator Chuck Grassley, whose sexually active brain raccoons are named Fran and Gunther”

  • SayItWithWookies

    And according to Trey Gowdy’s understanding of cause and effect, the bombing of Hiroshima was the proximate cause of WWII.

  • Paul Ryan giving a press conference just now said, “President Trump did the right thing,” with regard to DACA and he’s, “given the Congress the time they need to fix the problem.”

    Paul Ryan is A Idiot. Republicans in Congress filibustered the DACA bill in 2010 and have had decades to act on imigration reform with nothing but crickets to show for it.

    Some say that Paul Ryan makes the hissing sound of a snake when he speaks.

    • Mr. Blobfish

      Congress? Have you seen them lately?

    • Dr. Rrrrrobotnik

      It’s also not like Congress didn’t have the power before to override DACA, by issuing their own law on the subject. They didn’t.

      Hell, I’m pretty sure Obama straight-up admitted that DACA probably wasn’t constitutional because he was deliberately trying to goad a response – any response – out of Congress.

    • Rags

      Fortunately, reporters are able to understand Parseltongue.

  • Indiepalin

    If Harry Dean Stanton had a baby with Courtney Love…

    • marxalot

      Mix a little Q-Tip in there somewhere.

      • kareemachan

        Then that means he’s related to our VP, the Human Q-Tip.

    • Dr. Rrrrrobotnik

      I’d throw in a dash of Phil Spector for the dead eyes and crazy hair combo.

  • SpideySenser

    Sorry, Evan, I haven’t even read your article yet. That alleged beard on TG is so distracting it just screams for some attention. That is all for now.

    • Dr. Rrrrrobotnik

      It looks like those pube-staches college basketball players try to grow. It’s almost enragingly gross.

      • marxalot

        It looks like he got halfway through a ball of cotton candy before getting dumped off the hayride.

  • Villago Delenda Est

    So what’s with the facial hair? Trying to separate himself from Tom Fenton?

  • Jeffery Campbell

    Trey Gowdy, Pez dispenser for the Trump administration.

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    JFC…dude looks like a used Q-Tip with a disease.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      that Q-Tip wasn’t used in his ear, either. Wrong orifice…

  • Résistance Land Shark Ω
  • Mehmeisterjr

    Trey Gowdy still hasn’t figured out to comb his own hair so I have no great hope of his mastering the nuances of spycraft.

  • Pax Americana Per Ars Smith

    I’ve got a picture of Trey Gowdy and Roger Stone discussing Russia’s election meddling! https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/f73fed14f9c9c8b5631f740d5796fdbbf7c5fb5947716223196b5140c5fcd321.png

    • spangled

      andy and ollie are significantly smarter than gowdy and stone.

  • Ricky Gay
    • IdRatherBeDancing

      omg. lol

    • george lastrapes

      Where’s the facial recognition software when you need it? I think you’re on to something. If not him, gotstabe a double-first cousin on one side of the family and a nephew-brother-in-law on the other.

  • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

    Damn you for putting up Trey Gowdy’s pic. Now, I have a Dueling Banjos earworm. {{{attaching electrodes to my scalp}}}

  • fawkedifiknow

    Trey Gordy has an accent that only red-necked, sister loving, Stars and bars flying imbeciles don’t think he has.

  • That boy’s head just ain’t right, and look at those creepy shark eyes! I swear, he’s a Sleestak wearing an ill-fitting human suit.

    Gowdy: R-Uncanny Valley

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      Those eyes- so lifelike

    • Wilbur T

      yep. he looks like he just polished off a quart of turpentine and is
      getting ready to fuck a goat behind the barn. A female goat, though,
      because he ain’t no gay homosexual pervert.

      • george lastrapes

        Do not take the easy option of spoonerizing his name and calling him Gay Troutie. True, he does look like a fish (NTTAWWT) but he is far more lugubrious than gay.
        Need I say that the lofty level of discourse exemplified here cannot condone such sophomoric and cruel hijinks?

      • Zyxomma

        You misspelled prevert.

    • george lastrapes

      He needs to get a consultation with Putin’s cosmetic surgeon and discuss a do-over. That large-animal veterinarian he went to just wasn’t up to the task.

  • Zippy W Pinhead

    That boy gives pinheads a bad name…

    • SeeTrain65

      Most satisfying comment of the day.

      All upfists are belong to you.

  • Thorn Spike

    Yikes. Is that a screen grab from his episode of Bad Boys?

  • Permit-holder Ron

    ‘Sexually active brain raccoons’ actually sounds like fun. As long as they’re NOT wingnut raccoons. That would be far less pleasant.

  • Wolf Tracker

    I can at least understand Nunes motivation in trying to discredit the investigation because he is in deep up to his neck and Nunes and Flynn met with Turkish government officials and discussed kidnapping the exiled Turkish cleric living in the US and returning him to Turkey for trial (execution).

    https://www.dailykos.com/stories/2017/3/25/1647289/-Flynn-And-Nunes-Met-With-Turkish-Officials-In-Jan-How-Many-Dots-Are-There

    I am sure Mueller is invetigating that and Nunes active participation in the cover up and interference of the house investigation.

    I don’t really understand why Gowdy is interfering other than he may be trying to expose both Republican and Democrats and the FBI he thinks are corrupt as a feather in his cap for some position later like maybe head of DOJ when Sessions goes down with Trump.

    So let them dig their own graves and everything I have seen shows the Dossier was accurate including the names of Agalorov that put together the Don Jr. Russia meeting and is the same Agalorov in the Dossier that knows about the pee pee tpes and Trump’s Russian hotel deal and has been blackmailing Trump for the Russian mafia and Putin.

    Go ahead Gowdy- go down that road!

  • Joshua Norton

    Needz moar Benghazi!!

  • JustPretendImNotHere

    Damn, that boy looks like my cat who is cock-eyed and prone to fits of paranoia.

    • Alan

      Master race.

    • Rebel Scum with permit

      Your cat is probably smarter.

  • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

    In the absence of evidence I am going to assume that Mr. Gowdy is exactly as stupid as he looks.

    • Red Richmond

      Moran-er than that even.

    • Rebel Scum with permit

      Living proof that you don’t necessarily need to be smart to make it through law school and pass the bar exam.

      • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

        Well, it is South Carolina.

  • Cogswell – In a Mirror, Darkly

    The Gowdy Doody Show needs to be canceled.

    • SeeTrain65

      “Wait! Devin Nunes wants to say something? What is it, Devin?”

      “Goodbye, kids!”

  • Daniel

    This whole administration and the bollocks it’s doing to protect itself is basically the Coen Brothers’ version of Watergate.

    • Rebel Scum with permit

      Here’s hoping that when Muellers investigation becomes public, it exposes Gowdy and Nunes for the corrupt pinheads they are.

      • Résistance Land Shark Ω

        Too bad criminally stupid is not a felony.

  • Hastert is the GOP

    In defense of Gowdy, he’s been in a tight competition with Gohmert for the stupidest muthafugga in Congress for awhile now and this may be just what he needed to pull ahead.

    Winning!

  • Jgb979

    He was really great in sling blade

    https://media.giphy.com/media/GpAkt7mPEyjYs/giphy.gif

    I’m kind of surprised they let an emotionally disturbed intellectually disabled person have this much power…..

    Is something I would have written prior to 2017

    • Wilbur T

      “got any biscuits in there?”

      • Slamtundra

        With mustard?

  • Alan

    But seriously, politicians aren’t supposed to be involved with investigations conducted by apolitical agencies. WTF is wrong with these idiots and why don’t the grownups in congress tell them to fuck off?

  • disqus_lWwzrwNaw6

    Did somebody tell Trey Gowdy that goatee would help?

    Because no. It doesn’t help.

    Meanwhile, we’re all fucked, in that we’re clearly in the throes of a Bizarro Nazi takeover (and anybody who thinks these bastards aren’t going to win this round and send the poor old country careening into a century of sheer madness, at the very least, needs to go back and read some history books).

    We don’t even get the good Nazis in this poor, fucked, godawful, godforsaken country: we get the damaged, gormless, genetically altered clone Nazis, the ones with the misshapen heads and the desperate goatees.

    • Beanz&Berryz

      My goatee isn’t desperate… it’s just that Mrs.Bz&Bz prefers it there more than I prefer to remove it…

    • IdRatherBeDancing

      Is that what that thing is on his face — a goatee?

      • disqus_lWwzrwNaw6

        Well, it’s something.

      • SeeTrain65

        Possum end trails. But you were close!

  • I was gonna say https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/f3f4c51de25a033731e91e612ed6cd87239480bb2befdcfd401903fcce394bb0.jpg
    but then realized Lurch (Ted Cassidy) was much more appealing.

  • natoslug

    How many generations of line breeding do you need before your offspring go full Gowdy?

  • Incoming Ham

    We are going to have to put up with this moronic behavior out of the GOP until after the mid-terms. In the meantime they are going to shove all of their precious personal project bills under Tweeter in Chiefs nose. They know that if they stick a camera in front of him and flatter him enough he will sign any wingnut bill they give him. After the elections who knows. If they survive the election the best case scenario is that turn on him like a pack of jackals. The worst case is they keep going as they are now.

    • pstokk

      Read the NY Magazine article on Micheal Moore. Prediction that Trump will last 8 years. Don’t do it, it’s too depressing.

      • Incoming Ham

        He may be right. He’s too useful to the GOP and unless he does something absolutely outrageous, like pressing the red button he isn’t going anywhere.

  • Edith Prickly

    Think the FBI might write Gowdy a sternly worded FOAD letter the way the Pentagon did (PLEASE) when they got sick of his bullshit Benghazi requests? Good times.

  • Beanz&Berryz

    “GODDAMNED HAYSEED ASSFUCK.”

    My vocabularium growed today.

    • IdRatherBeDancing

      I dunno, assfucking is fun. Gowdy, not so fun.

  • Johnny Appleseed

    Fucking Gomer Gowdy: the awesome former Federal Prosecutor who, after 11.5 hrs of interrogating the so-called Witch of Benghazi (not only in his feeble, nit-picking mind) under sworn Oath then Gomer dun declared “we didn’t learn anything new”.

    And there was a very logical reason for not a learning something new, there was never any more to learn that wasn’t already disclosed through 7 other time and money-wasting investigations that all concluded without a sniff of any charges. They complained mightily how “we were broke” and spent money themselves like drunken Republicans. Think they’d find one competent one in the whole bunch. But, no.

    • Boscoe

      The competent ones are too smart to get involved with that kind of obvious stupidity. they just egg it on from the sidelines, and then quietly fade into the crowd when it inevitably blows up in everyone’s face.

  • Me not sure

    🎶Some folks’ll never subpoena a dossier,
    But then again some folks’ll,
    Like Gowdy the slack-jawed yokel.🎶 https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/6005df83b9d1a54815b7cace628162cab231a6e607cc4b5a89a86f2734d89cb4.jpg

  • IdiotsforPalin

    Who the fuck cuts his hair?

    • AmazingProfessionalCrastinator

      Might not be so bad if he would wash it.

    • Mort Sinclair

      I believe that’s what you call a self-inflicted trim.

      • Boscoe

        Trey may in fact have the last functional Flowbee!

        (hahaha the joke’s on me, i just checked and you can STILL buy those things!)

    • Alan

      Who fails to wash it?

    • SeeTrain65

      Whoever has the Garden Weasel that day.

  • Bub, the cynical zombie
  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
  • Zyxomma

    Always.

  • The Librarian

    No moar coffee, enraged enough.
    Need moar “Trey Gowdy is so dumb that….” jokes.

  • VirginiaWackelpudding

    Wash your hair and SHAVE those quills! A roadkill porcupine is more elegantly coiffed.

    • IdRatherBeDancing

      no shit ,,, that “beard” is ridiculous.

  • Manhattan123

    I know it’s not nice to comment on someone’s appearance, but jeezus, that guy is one combination Howdy Doody/Alfred E. Newman looking fuck.

    • mfp, all 6s&7s&9s

      i still say he looks like a q-tip dipped in vaseline…and almost as smrrt as that

  • Ricky Gay
    • Marc Berrenson

      Too fucking perfect!

    • IdRatherBeDancing

      lol

  • Raan

    My choice for Trey Gowdy in the movie of this clusterfuck: Dax Shepherd.

    https://pbs.twimg.com/profile_images/796807040408522752/_s4cs8ZF.jpg

    • Can’t believe i’m saying this, but Dax libelz

    • SisterArtemis

      too pretty. Needs more of a meth-addict-tries-to-look-corporate look.

      • Raan

        Hey, you’d be amazed what they can do with makeup these days.

  • PixieThis

    Thanks for inspiring my new children’s book entitled “Fran & Gunther – the Adventures of the Sexually Active Brain Raccoons” “…when we last left Fran and Gunther, they were laying back, smoking cigarettes and watching fox news…”

    • LeighBowery’sLuxuryComedy

      13/11 would read

    • Invisible Bunyip

      Raccoon News, surely?

  • Jonny On Maui

    conspiracy raccoons live inside your brain

    Raccoons? I’ve got ferrets…

    • LeighBowery’sLuxuryComedy

      It was always brain hamsters round these parts.

  • notanncoulter

    imagine, if you will, a baby conceived of gowdy and gohmert, nurtured and grown in the belly of virginia foxx.

    • susan_g

      Stephen Miller?

  • IdRatherBeDancing

    This what a good leftist beard looks like. Wingnuts should not attempt it.
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/e995aa3685c40ea53b3a57aab4e4d4a5052816d24ef8aa773c6a52763ec0fb23.jpg

    • H0mer0

      izzat you or Ricky Martin or los dos?

      • IdRatherBeDancing

        That would be me, although I do get the “you look like Ricky Martin” a bit.

        • H0mer0

          are you living la vida loca?

  • C4TWOMAN

    More distraction and muddying the issue spin bs…

  • therblig

    seriously, how could anyone, even a republican, look at that face on a campaign poster and think “this is the guy for the job” instead of, “oh my god, that poor unfortunate creature”?

    • BreakingDeadMen

      I can only see sad, pathetic manchild Draco Malfoy

      • sarafina

        I’m sure Draco would SHAVE!!!!

        • BreakingDeadMen

          He has a spell for that

    • phoenix00

      Feature, not bug.

  • rocktonsam

    Dossier just sounds sexy…

    • Boscoe

      Dossi…SAAaaaaayyyyyy…

      • SprinklemagicResistancebuns

        Ooh la la monsieur et/ou madame!

  • Kooolest G

    remind me again what part of the dossier has been disproven? trey? trey? hello? oh and maybe remind your dipshit friend chuck grassley that he said in a town hall that he was going to let the public see a transcript of the Fusion GPS guy’s 10 hours of testimony about this dossier. where the fuck is it? is howdy doody gowdy typing it up right now on his typewriter?

  • Whirled Peas

    Heh, I avoid Wonkette mostly. But anyone who can get a headline like this to the top of my news aggregator list deserves a click. Also love the pic! Thank you :)

    • Sophie McMillan

      Why do you avoid the marvelous Wonkette?

      • HooverVilles

        Agree! Why indeed!

      • Whirled Peas

        Topic subject matter and time management considerations mostly. The snark here is great but I already have a site I visit daily to get my dose of sarcasm. Perhaps my perception is off and I need to changeup?

        • Wonkette is better. Just sayin.
          Not at all even a little biased on that.

    • Alan

      They’ve figured out the search algorithm. More to come.

    • phoenix00

      Stop by more often!

  • whitroth

    What is it wirh Gowdy? He reminds me of Tennessee Ernie Ford, but got his head mashed sideways, and his brains must have dribbled out. Bet he doesn’t sing as well, either.

    And of *course* this breaks in the Washington Examiner. Remember that it’s run by convicted-and-served-time-as-a-foreign-agent Sun Myung Moon, who had himself semi-annointed as practically calling himself the Second Coming ™.

    • kathyseivers

      Please don’t malign Tennessee Ernie Ford. He was a handsome, talented man who was a lovely person. Trey Gowdy is the guy from Deliverance that “grew” up.

      • H0mer0

        does that mean he plays banjo well?

    • SprinklemagicResistancebuns

      I thought that was the Washington Times? Not that it has to be owned by the moonies to be complete fishwrap./olds reference

      • H0mer0

        you are correct, although the examiner is another right wing rag I see on my walk through my neighborhood past the teatards’ houses (funny how at least one of them is a lobbyist, dependent upon the largess of govmint for their livelihood.)

  • AnniNoone

    For some reason I had it in my head that Congresscracker was going to maybe give a shit about the “hostile foreign power in our election” thing. Silly me, he’s a congressional Republican and not dying, why would he?

    • Boscoe

      Clearly if Killary or Obummer weren’t involved, then it’s not worth caring about.

  • Hospergar

    I was also enraged, so I spent the last half hour calling Nunes’ offices and asking how that pesky Ethics investigation was going, and what explanation he had for his continued involvement in an investigation into a campaign he worked on. Promised to call back next week to collect the answers. Then I called the House Ethics Committee to see how it was going on their end- nothing but voicemails. And then I called Schiff’s office and asked him to pretty please report this bit of fuckery to the House Ethics Committee as well.

  • Internet Hitler

    Hey! Smart people need helmets, too! For jobsite hazards and to do stupid stuff, like ride motorcycles and play football. It’s the dumb ones who DON’T wear helmets, especially to do stupid stuff.

    • Boscoe

      …or when we feel an overwhelming need to repeatedly bash our head against the wall in frustration over how the hell all these morans managed to take over the government.

  • MOG253

    Just reading about him lowered my IQ.

    • NotDarkYet

      Just looking at his picture upset my stomach!

      • Boscoe

        There is definitely something just not right about that guy. fetal alcohol syndrome can only explain so much…

        • NotDarkYet

          Half of the DSM-5® at the very least, maybe even ALL of it, would make a good start toward an explanation.

      • SprinklemagicResistancebuns

        Excellent diet aid. *hork*

        • NotDarkYet

          Huh, look at that: I had strawberries for brekkies!

  • Boscoe

    Gowdy is what you end up with when the smertest hayseed in Dumbfuck SC (Population: Entirely Interrelated) manages to get hisself a guvmint jerb and decides HE is the only one capable of getting to the bottom of… something.

    “Lookit! I’m doin’ lawyer stuff!”

  • RSSAA

    His name is Harold, not “Trey”.

    • Boscoe

      Trey is his gangsta name.

      • H0mer0

        and it means he was 3rd in a sequence of these fine fellas

    • sarafina

      Of course it is.

  • John Strycharz

    Funny how no one has ever seen Trey Gowdy and Cletus Delroy Spuckler together at the same time.

    • Boscoe

      In a way, you never see them separately. ;P

      • John Strycharz

        Say, that’s right! Check out these Gowdy quotes from the Congressional Record:

        Hey ma, look at that pointy hairded little girl, duh-huh!”

        “I seend thet roadkill first! Ellie May is going to have herself a fine wedding!”

        “Hey, I can call my mamma from up here. HEY MA! GET OFF THE DANG ROOF!

        “Look what sugar did to my cousin, Die-Betty.”

        If’n anyone ever tells you a hog won’t eat a finger, they’s lying.

    • SeeTrain65

      Common thread: Both men have wives named “Brandine.”

      Co-Inky-Dink? I THINK NOT!

  • sweet freedom

    This asshat looks like some sort of alien hybrid that just fell out of its host.

    • SprinklemagicResistancebuns

      He reminds me of that “world’s ugliest dog”, the hairless chihuahua one.

      • xintheline

        Please don’t insult dogs. They deserve better. Howdy Gowdy, on the other hand, is more than fair game. #Benghazi

  • Shorty Gaudy: SQUIRREL!!!

  • wait! what?

    “It just makes sense, as long as wingnut conspiracy raccoons live inside your brain and are fucking each other right now.”

    More like cognative dissonant trash pandas.

  • Marc Berrenson

    I mean LOOK AT THIS GUY!
    Would you buy a car from this guy?
    Gowdy makes the guys who rummage through my trash cans at night look like diplomats.
    If I were into Meth, I might buy from him, on the likelihood that he couldn’t figure out how to make change.

  • blaid droog

    I find myself in need of a couple hours of old Warner Bros cartoons.

    • John Strycharz

      Be sure to include Draft Happy Daffy. That one says me every time!

      • H0mer0

        I will have to check that out (I love cartoons)

        • John Strycharz

          Daffy is a tough-talking super patriot who has a drastic change of heart when his draft notice arrives. Yes, he’s a Republican!

          This is my second favourite Warners WWII cartoon, after Gremlins From The Kremlin. 😎

  • sarafina

    With his usual haircut, I didn’t think Boy Gowdy could be more unattractive. Seeing that crap on his chin, I realized I set too high a bar. Although the hair on top of his head looks different.

    • efoveks

      The chin fuzz is there to hide the post teenage acne boiling under his thin skin. That’s my guess anyway.

    • SeeTrain65

      I haven’t seen a hairstyle like that outside of a Bill Griffith cartoon.

    • Petunia Cat

      He looks like he’s going for an 80s music video look. But it’s being undercut by his recent heroin binge.

    • Jacob Bay

      So instead of rational arguments you resort to name calling. Very liberal of you.

      • Mysterious Masked Wrestler

        Gowdy’s bullshit has already been deconstructed in the article above, there’s no need for rational arguments anymore. There’s plenty of need for mocking, however, because Gowdy is a piece of shit. I also notice that you’re content with attacking a random commenter rather than using rational arguments to reply to the article. Very wingnutty of you.

      • sgt. jmk of the résistance

        Have you presented a rational argument? Has Little Trey?

        (Psst – the answer to both questions is “no.”)

  • Viktor

    Haven’t these morons learned? Mess with the FBI and you Muellered

    • kloewent

      I love that!!! It can become part of the language like “Borked”

    • Jacob Bay

      You mean like those that messed with Comey?

  • Jason Hollett

    I’d note that assfucks are good, but hayseeds without the assfucks are not. I want to be sure that the sequential use of the two words, above, is not misconstrued.

  • Heyzeus Ahchay

    How the fuck does someone as stupid as Howdy Gowdy remember to breathe on a recurring basis?

    • sarafina

      It’s an autonomic function, which means what passes for his brain just does it. Perhaps an evolutionary flaw in this case.

  • Toledo Window Box

    Gowdy and his pals are obstructing justice. Lock ’em up!

    • H0mer0

      [IMHO Martha Stewart got locked up for a lot less. BTW, why is Jefferson Beauregard Fudd still walking around free and recusing himself when he lied to congress?]

      • Toledo Window Box

        Because the Republican party is hopelessly corrupt.

  • abstract668

    Come on, it’s obvious that his wife is the real beard! Closets make you C R A Z Y.

  • Thomas Rowley

    This is who Malfoy grew up to be.

    • phoenix00

      Libelz!! Tom Felton is actually quite the awesome chap.

  • ez

    Rent Boy for Sale.

  • phoenix00

    Only one mention of Benghazi?! Evan, I am disappoint.

  • phoenix00
  • NotConvinced

    Trey looks like a stalk of asparagus with hair.

  • MIᄃΉΛΣᄂ I ΛM

    This is the dumbest article written ever.

    • sgt. jmk of the résistance

      Awww sorry. Did you and your sock not understand it?

  • Crotalus

    He’s smarter than you….

    • sgt. jmk of the résistance

      Who? Bullethead?

      He’s not even smarter than most plants.

      Pretty sure he’s got you beat, though.

  • sgt. jmk of the résistance

    Come to Wonkette for the dick jokes… stay for the edumacation! Where else could I have been able to learn that Chuckles Grassley’s sexually active brain raccoons are called Fran and Gunther?

    Seriously, in the midst of a crappy week, that made me giggle. A lot.

  • freevoter2016

    The Gowdy subpoena will be answered by the FBI on November 1, 2020 and as usual no indictments and the MSM coverup. The Banana Republic of the US is alive and well.

  • Dan Sword

    ROFL I got half way through this retarded shit before the laughter convulsions got too bad to continue. Holy shit this site is run by morons!

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