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Better Living Through Chemistry

The Environmental Protection Agency is not so much into “protecting” the “environment” under administrator Scott Pruitt, and frankly, they’re pretty darned angry that anyone would think they’re supposed to be doing that in the middle of a natural disaster anyway. When the Associated Press reported on flooded Superfund toxic waste sites in Texas and said the EPA hadn’t yet physically visited the sites — which AP reporters somehow managed to get to — the EPA issued a snotty attack on one of the three reporters who contributed to the piece, because of course that’s what you do to prove that you’re keeping the residents of Texas safe.

Here’s what government press releases sound like in the Age of Trump: Defensive, bitchy, and misleading.

Yesterday, the Associated Press’ Michael Biesecker wrote an incredibly misleading story about toxic land sites that are under water.

Despite reporting from the comfort of Washington, Biesecker had the audacity to imply that agencies aren’t being responsive to the devastating effects of Hurricane Harvey. Not only is this inaccurate, but it creates panic and politicizes the hard work of first responders who are actually in the affected area.

Not mentioned in the EPA rant: The article’s lead reporter, Jason Dearen, was in Texas, and drove, walked and boated to several flooded Superfund sites. He was there on the ground — unlike the EPA, which, the press release proudly announced, didn’t have to be, because it has satellite and aerial photos:

Here’s the truth: through aerial imaging, EPA has already conducted initial assessments at 41 Superfund sites – 28 of those sites show no damage, and 13 have experienced flooding. This was left out of the original story, along with the fact that EPA and state agencies worked with responsible parties to secure Superfund sites before the hurricane hit. Leaving out this critical information is misleading.

We looked at it! Stop lying and saying we weren’t there! Also, we secured the sites. We won’t tell you how, because we don’thave to, but we did. The press release also cited a Breitbart story to suggest that Biesecker is a Very Bad Reporter.

Besides, said the press release, they are too staying on top of things in Texas. In fact, they’re so busy staying on top of things in Texas they can’t even find time to correct comma splices or misspellings:

Administrator Pruitt already visited Southeast Texas and is in constant contact with local, state and county officials. And EPA, [sic] has a team of experts imbedded [sic] with other local, state and federal authorities, on the ground responding to Harvey – none of which Biesecker included in his story.

Did we get any information on what those EPA experts were doing, exactly, while imbedded? Obviously, they were keeping themselves safe — the EPA issued a Press release Saturday saying 13 of the Superfund sites in the Houston areas were “no accessible,” which will certainly be news to the AP reporters who drove, walked, and took a boat to some of them:

We’re waiting on the EPA statement explaining that boats don’t count, since that’s cheating. The AP wasn’t about to take the attack on Biesecker sitting down, especially because god knows what you might end up sitting in. In a statement, the AP said,

AP’s exclusive story was the result of on the ground reporting as well as AP’s strong knowledge of these sites and EPA practices. We object to the EPA’s attempts to discredit that reporting by suggesting it was completed solely from “the comforts of Washington” and stand by the work of both journalists who jointly reported and wrote the story.

Elsewhere in the chemical soup this weekend, the Harris County Fire Marshal’s office performed a “controlled burn” of the last six trailers full of volatile chemicals at the Arkema chemical plant in Crosby, about 25 miles northeast of Houston. Three trailers had already burned completely when their refrigeration failed, causing the organic peroxides to go boom when they got too warm. (The screenshot up top is of the third trailer going up on its own on Saturday, not the controlled burn on Sunday.) The public wasn’t given any advance warning of the controlled burns, because they were supposed to have evacuated anyway. The fire marshal’s office spokesperson Rachel Moreno offered no details on how the trailers were set alight, because “safety and security aspects,” so we’ll just guess 1) Drone B) Flaming arrows III) Radio controlled car rigged up with a flamethrower by Cousin Earl, who likes fire a lot. However they did it, Moreno said, “We did it in a very safe manner.” That Earl, he says he knows what he’s doing.

After the fires were out, residents were allowed to return to the evacuation area, and presumably told to ignore any funny smells, which were no doubt due to toxic waste in the floodwaters, not the air, so everything’s fine. Just don’t go badmouthing the EPA, you hear? They will come after you, tell you what.

Yr Wonkette is supported by reader donations! Please click the “Donate” linky and we won’t issue a bitchy press release about you.

[AP / New York / EPA press release / Business Insider / Houston Chronicle]

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  • WotsAllThisThen

    I just hope they were able to get to the corporate profits in time.

    • Three Finger Salute

      Won’t someone PLEASE think of the dead presidents?!?

  • Give them a break, will ya? It takes some time to get representatives of the extraction industry to cancel their golf games and fly down to a flood zone to let us know that everything is fine and it’s perfectly normal that you’re growing tumors out of everywhere…

  • UncleTravelingMatt

    The fact that we even have a 3.3 acre acid pit is troubling.

    • Anna Rompage

      Especially since they can just throw their spent sulfuric acid in the water ways now….

      The solution to pollution is dilution…

      • OneYieldRegular

        “The EPA is happy to announce that thanks to heavy flooding from Hurricane Harvey that washed everything away, the number of Superfund sites in Houston area has been reduced from 41 to 28. And still the fake media accuses us of not caring.”

        • Beanz&Berryz

          “The EPA is happy to announce that as a result of thorough cleanups the number of Superfund sites in Houston area has been reduced from 41 to 28.”

    • OneYieldRegular

      “Defendant strongly objects to plaintiff’s characterization of ‘acid sludge’ as a ‘waste.'” (That is the actual line from a response to interrogatories in a toxic clean-up suit that caused a young attorney I know to quit his job).

      • WotsAllThisThen

        I thought acid sludge was a type of psychedelic music popular in the 1990s.

  • calliecallie

    Fuck it.

  • Gee, Your Hair Smells Horrific

    Imbedded teams of experts is a category on PornHub. I used to like them, but then got hooked on the real estate ones, which are okay if you watch with the sound off.

  • jesterpunk
  • Everrett Fanuelli

    This is exactly what the EPA wants. Didn’t you know they’re now called the Environmental Pollution Agency.

  • Three Finger Salute

    Figures we have a Russian puppet in the White House when we get our Chernobyl.

  • Bananas Foster

    Up here in Oregon I’ve spent the last three days choking on the smoke from forest fires. (It’s hit hazardous levels.)

    It’s horrible.

    And it’s only burning vegetation.

    I can’t imagine what people in Texas must be going through.

    • armed_bears

      You and Montana are sharin’ the love… all the way down to New Mexico and Texas… I’ve always wanted to see Oregon; never thought I’d get to see it drift past.

      https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/c4f959c38e29420cb771a5c9e9a1cec711a596e2ef7783b3b1c9dad2c77bc38a.jpg

      • Bananas Foster

        We’re a generous people.

        • Courser_Resistance

          Denver, yesterday.
          https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/4b78205bb0a9d25c434ff19a088618ade031c9c4bc4c128f7cb05b197a888723.jpg

          Please, you’ve given enough! You’re far too generous…

          • Bananas Foster

            Eugene isn’t nearly as visibly smoky as it was yesterday, but the particulate pollution is actually worse. Current AQI rating 434. Above 300 is hazardous. The AQI craps out at 500.

            ” Note: Values above 500 are considered Beyond the AQI. Follow
            recommendations for the Hazardous category. Additional information on
            reducing exposure to extremely high levels of particle pollution is
            available.”

          • Beanz&Berryz

            Hmm.. Our air is so bad it broked the air quality index interwebz…

          • Courser_Resistance

            It’s not as smoky here either today. Fine particulates are up making it “Unhealthy for Sensitive Groups”. I’m sort of in the group as an oldz who smokes (but has no pre-existing lung disease). It smells like diesel fumes to me which makes me slightly pukey.

          • Bananas Foster

            Yeah, I’m a relatively young very healthy person and I’ve been nauseous all day.

          • Courser_Resistance

            We were getting trained in Airways & Oxygen administration yesterday morning before our BBQ. Everyone was taking hits off the O2 tanks because it helped make us feel better with the really nasty air yesterday. Wish I had one today, lol.

          • Bananas Foster

            It wandered through my mind that today was not the day to break my leg because the urgent cares and ers are going to be spilling over with people in respiratory distress.

          • MrTusks

            That’s not forest fire smoke.

            [swish]

          • Courser_Resistance

            Well, it sure ain’t fog! It was 97 yesterday and dry as a bone.

          • ImGoingBacon

            now I really have the munchies.

          • Three Finger Salute

            “You wanted your smoke, Denver? Careful what you wish for! Hahaha, praise the Lard!” -Reeferson No-Regard Sessions

          • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

            Damn.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    41 Superfund sites – 28 of those sites show no damage, and 13 have experienced flooding

    One out of three ain’t bad!!!

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/d4e0c2ef65c956d7ca460a095af54a0f18a51793a4a955691a46bbb5c49e71f2.jpg

    • Beanz&Berryz

      Pretty clever way to downplay 13 Superfund sites being flooded with roving, spilling, moving water…. Really, there are hundreds upon hundreds of Superfund sites in the U.S. that weren’t flooded by Harvey. What’s your point!?

      • MrTusks

        Of the 139.7 million square miles of ocean on Earth, only a couple were polluted with toxic chemicals*, so what’s your fucking problem??

        *in this specific instance, questions about preexisting pollution will not be answered

        • Beanz&Berryz

          Exactly. A drop in the bucket…

  • Mr. Blobfish

    They always sound like they’re bitching to Page 6.

  • Wild Cat

    Look at the bright side: What’s bad for us humans is good for the rats, roaches, maggots, and Vox Day.

    • jesterpunk

      So breitbart will move their offices to Texas?

  • Indiepalin

    Trump’s idea to turn Superfund sites into nuclear waste depositories has real promise.

    • Three Finger Salute

      So much for draining the swamp…

  • Jenny

    Yeah, but how happy are shareholders?

    That’s what matters.

  • Mr. Blobfish

    If the same amount of effort went into doing their jobs instead of neglecting them, we wouldn’t be in this mess.

  • ariel_gee_398

    A cloud of benzene is a good thing, right? No? https://twitter.com/maddow/status/905155587914301440

    • Moebym of the Returners

      It only causes cancer. No biggie. /s

      • Bananas Foster

        President is a term limited position.

        Cancer takes time…

        • Moebym of the Returners

          I was snarking…

          • Bananas Foster

            So was I.

    • Oblios_Cap

      All that black smoke from the peroxide plant just screamed “healthy”!

    • BrianW

      I actually live a few miles down the road from that refinery (the bridge on the left is the 610 Loop), and that’s not a benzene plume. It’s steam from normal operations, and is there all the time.

      EDIT: According to Google maps, it’s 8.75 miles away in a straight line or a 15 minute drive under normal conditions.

      • ariel_gee_398

        From the article: “The city and the Environmental Defense Fund said extra air monitors they dispatched to Houston’s Manchester region on Monday detected the presence of benzene, a component of crude oil and gasoline.”

        Also: “A Manchester oil refinery that is a subsidiary of Valero Energy Partners said the leak on Aug. 27 resulted in the emission of benzene and other hazardous compounds, according to a copy of the refiner’s report to the Texas Commission on Environmental Quality, or TCEQ.”

        • BrianW

          Not arguing with the press release at all. My problem is that the title of the tweet says “Benzene plume…” and shows a picture that is just steam. Yes, benzene is invisible, but I would hate to see her tweet get turned into another “ig’nant liebruls, don’t know nuttin’ ’bout real bidness.”

  • Three Finger Salute

    So much for free speech… Apparently that’s only a thing if you’re insulting minorities, not uttering blasphemy like science.

    Report: E.P.A. public affairs official given right to veto federal grants if they mention climate change

    Won’t someone PLEASE think of the fossil fuel executives?!?

  • Scooby

    Why hold the EPA responsible….it’s not like Texas wasn’t asking for it.

  • armed_bears

    I am running out of snark. Left only with sadness and contempt.

  • Michael R

    Nuking Hurricanes: The Surprising History of a Really Bad Idea

    http://news.nationalgeographic.com/2016/11/hurricanes-weather-history-nuclear-weapons/

    • Permit-holder Ron

      Please tell me Twitler hasn’t seen this…

    • jesterpunk

      Do you want a sharknado? Because that is how you get a sharknado.

  • OneYieldRegular

    I saw a satellite photo of Category 5 Hurricane Irma on the Internet this morning. It is out in the middle of the ocean. Nothing to worry about.

    • Oblios_Cap

      Yet.

  • Jennifer R
    • Resistance Fighter Astraea

      What is the context of this? The original tweet seems to be gone.

      • Jennifer R

        Kurt was posting something about something he read online about hurricanes and this guy says that is wrong and Kurt tried to call him out.

        • Resistance Fighter Astraea

          I was just curious what it was. All I see is a long string of tweets I don’t understand.

          • Jennifer R

            This seems to be related to it.
            Sounds like he found some simple equation online and did some math with it and is now really mad everyone is realizing he is a dumbass.
            https://twitter.com/kurteichenwald/status/905094380201156612

          • Steve Cole

            I receive such treatment on occasion. One of our managers thinks reading a wikipedia post makes him an instant expert, so he will quote something complicated without context and then enjoy the scramble while competent people attempt to respond.

          • Jennifer R
          • Resistance Fighter Astraea

            What in the world did he think he was accomplishing

          • Jennifer R

            He is Kurt Eichenwald The Smartest Man In The World.

  • armed_bears

    OT…. but file under “Trump Might Not Have Understood”

    A damaging report from the New York Times indicates that the president may not grasp the full ramifications of what his policy decision meant:

    As late as one hour before the decision was to be announced, administration officials privately expressed concern that Mr. Trump might not fully grasp the details of the steps he was about to take, and when he discovered their full impact, would change his mind, according to a person familiar with their thinking who spoke on condition of anonymity without authorization to comment on it.

    http://www.salon.com/2017/09/05/republicans-attack-donald-trumps-daca-repeal-decision/

    • Permit-holder Ron

      Why would this decision differ from every single one of his other decisions?

  • proudgrampa

    I am unable to not comment at this time as anything I would not comment upon would be in violation of the Non-Commenter’s Rules.

  • Fartknocker

    Me thinks the Harris County Fire Marshal doesn’t completely understand organic peroxides, which isn’t surprising because they are man-made. I’m assuming the organic peroxides that burned were undergoing an exothermic reaction because of the loss of refrigeration. The estimated temperature is based on testing required for hazardous materials and is termed Self-Accelerating Decomposition Temperature (SADT). SADTs as low as 32F are not uncommon as SADT is dependent on the container size, formulation and oxygen content.

    The US Chemical Safety and Hazard Investigation Board has opened an investigation of the Arkema incident. Cheetos Mussolini has including defunding of the USCSB in his budget request. I’ve personally worked the USCSB on an incident and they were very knowledgeable and produce well prepared reports that have been used to improve operating practices and standards governing equipment used for handling and storing hazardous materials.

    http://www.csb.gov/statement-from-csb-chairperson-vanessa-allen-sutherland-on-arkema-inc-incident/

    • OutOfOrbit

      we must put a stop to such studies/reports

    • BrianW

      Improve practices and standards for industry? COMMIE!!!!11!!1

    • Resistance Fighter Astraea

      They conduct the kind of investigations that agencies like OSHA and the EPA can’t. It’s no wonder the republicans want to get rid of them.

    • Three Finger Salute

      Alex Jones has convinced Donnie that the chemtrails are putting dihydrogen monoxide in the water. That board is part of the NWO that’s doing it.

      • jesterpunk

        Dihydrogen monoxide is dangerous, 100% of serial killers where found to have used it.

        http://www.dhmo.org/facts.html

        • Jesse

          Dihydrogen monoxide promotes shark attacks.

        • Nigel R. Toppinglift, III

          Anyone that has ever ingested DHM has died…

    • Nigel R. Toppinglift, III

      I know of one fire Marshall that’s good with hazmat. The rest are hit and miss…

  • OutOfOrbit

    if we just dump all of the toxic waste along our border with Mixco, 2 problems: SOLVED

    • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

      Hey, that’s what St. Bernie did with Vermont’s toxic waste, only it was a small town on the U.S. side!

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    And doesn’t the EPA have anything better to do, like protecting the environ–oh, right…

    • WotsAllThisThen

      It’s the Ego Protection Agency now.

  • BrianW

    I, for one, would be PROUD to have our Wonkette write a bitchy press release about me. In fairness to the Editrix (and staff) though, it would probably still be nicer than that EPA press release.

  • help…help…need nice time…no…too much…

    Here’s some Fiona:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2qWsiAt6wM0

    • Courser_Resistance

      Awwwww, Fiona Nice Times with Mom!

  • Scooby

    Trump just got confused again and thought they were Superfun sites.

    • Bananas Foster

      He needs to understand that not all yellow liquids are urine.

  • Joe Beese

    The Rude Pundit:

    President Trump’s decision is the sort of disruptive, wanton fuckery that we can accurately call “evil.” It will tear families apart. It will cruelly exile people to countries where they have nothing, no roots, no connection. It will end up damaging the economy as nearly a million people will no longer be paying taxes or Social Security. The only thing getting rid of DACA does is make racists feel good. That is it. That is solely it. There is no rational case to be made for punshing these law-abiding, education-oriented, hardworking Americans-in-all-but-papers. In fact, I’d fucking rather Trump had just said, “Yeah, too fuckin’ many Mexicans. We need more whites.” At least then, we’d cut through the bullshit justifications and maybe we’d get to see who Nazi salutes in agreement. …just skip the bullshit justifications and say you hate brown people.

    http://rudepundit.blogspot.co.uk/2017/09/random-observations-on-this-fresh.html

    • Lance Thrustwell

      Has everyone seen Obama’s statement?

      https://www.facebook.com/barackobama/posts/10155227588436749

      • Oblios_Cap

        That’s way too long for Trump to read.

        • Three Finger Salute

          It says “Obama”.

          He’s going to nuke Mexico.

      • Courser_Resistance

        Thanks! Reading it now

      • Joe Beese

        This is Allahpundit, a right-winger who I nevertheless respect as a sane handicapper of things:

        I’m gonna guess this is worth about seven or eight points to Trump in terms of public support. Without Obama weighing in, figure 70/30 or so opposed to deporting DREAMers. With Obama weighing in, maybe 62/38-ish. That’s how many Republicans will rally to Trump purely out of annoyance at a vintage O scolding about what sort of opinions it is and isn’t “American” to hold. …

        I do think there’s strategy here on Obama’s part, though, as I wrote yesterday. He probably believes, not incorrectly, that this is a winning issue for Democrats if they can maneuver the GOP into strong opposition. The media will be filled with sob stories from DREAMers; there’ll be highly public divisions within the party itself, with amnesty fans like McCain and Graham pitted against border hawks; and the more attention the issue gets, the more Republicans will be consumed with it instead of, say, with returning to health-care reform. (And the window for that is shrinking if McConnell wants to do something via reconciliation.) Right now there’s a chance that Trump will be able to muscle enough grassroots support on the right for a compromise involving a DREAM amnesty that the issue will be largely defused for Republicans. Obama’s entry into the fray complicates that. Trump will inevitably lash out at him on Twitter for having created this legal and constitutional mess in the first place; nationalists will use Obama’s support as a rallying point against legalizing DREAMers by any means, not just against DACA; and soon Ryan and McConnell will be stuck trying to broker some sort of deal without much public support from the president, all but guaranteeing failure. Then Democrats will use that against Republicans next fall. Obama’s criticism is basically a grenade rolled into the GOP tent, and he knows it. I’m surprised he didn’t single out Trump by name, just to make this extra provocative. Presumably presidential “decorum” required that he not do so.

        To give you a sense of the battle that’s coming, here’s populist favorite Kris Kobach proposing that DREAMers leave the country and get in line for readmission. Having big-name border hawks like him, Sessions, and Miller all pushing the idea that DREAMers are sucking jobs away from American citizens is going to harden Trump’s own view of them, possibly creating a scenario where Trump doesn’t want to sign a DREAM amnesty even after he publicly urged Congress to deal with the problem. The worst thing Ryan and McConnell can do to him at this point is to actually produce a bill and send it to his desk. I wonder if, as Trump’s relations with congressional Republicans deteriorate, they’ll end up doing exactly that and letting Trump deal with the fallout. Imagine a standalone DREAM amnesty being sent to the president for signature. It’s all on Trump at that point.

        • Permit-holder Ron

          It amuses me that he thinks Obama’s statement was made to mess with Donnie and his ‘administration,’ and not because it’s the kind of thing a compassionate and intelligent human being would say.

          • Joe Beese

            We all wear the blinders of our world view, I suppose.

          • Lance Thrustwell

            He sounds like a committed horse-race kind of guy.

          • Michael Smith

            Perhaps saying the kind of thing a compassionate and intelligent human being would say IS messing with Donnie and his administration.

          • commatoes

            They may have to look up those words.

        • Michael Smith

          I’d caution this Allahpundit: That’s the kind of analysis that gets you accused of being a RINO, comrade.

    • Three Finger Salute

      “First they came for the Dreamers…”

  • Oblios_Cap

    Given the level of intellectual heft at Pruitt’s EPA, I’m kind of surprised they didn’t claim that Biesecker was bisexual and therefore untrustworthy…

    • Michael Smith

      “You know, back in the day they used to give people surnames based on their occupation. You heard of the village bicycle? This guy’s ancestors were like that but double the market share.”

  • Covfefe’s Evil Twin

    Rome is burning and Nero’s minions are busy calling people poopy-heads.

    • Three Finger Salute

      Playing with their “fidget-spinners”.

    • Michael Smith

      Contrary to popular myth, Trump is actually playing the liar.

      • Permit-holder Ron

        Well played, sirrah!

  • Lance Thrustwell

    Only semi-OT because environment and science, but y’all seen Trump’s NASA head nominee?

    http://www.syfy.com/syfywire/trump-to-nominate-climate-science-denier-rep-jim-bridenstine-as-nasas-chief

    • Three Finger Salute

      Where would we be without space?

      (Like the space in this guy’s head and everyone else in this maladministration.)

      To negative infinity and beyond.

    • mackafritz

      Great, another climate change denier from Oklahoma.

      • Bobathonic

        For him, Yokelhoma.

    • Courser_Resistance

      I’m not sure whether to laugh or cry that’s from Syfy Wire.

    • commatoes

      Pruitt at EPA, DeVos at Ed., Perry at Energy…

      I see a pattern.

      • Nigel R. Toppinglift, III

        Jenny McCarthy as Surgeon General…

  • Michael Smith

    Leave fixing deadly chemical leaks to the free market!! If we expect our nanny state to step and help any time there’s a horrible chemical accident, soon there won’t be any market for trying to save the lives of a bunch of people who just lost their homes and their possessions!

  • WotsAllThisThen

    I thought when Pruitt took over the EPA his goal was to make sure they did nothing. You’d think he’d be proud of his work.

  • Permit-holder Ron

    Hey, hands up who remembers when ‘Environmental Protection Agency’ actually did what it says on its door?

    • Daniel Hooper

      I think that logic can apply to pretty much all federal government offices at the moment.

      • Three Finger Salute

        Part of Bannon’s doublethink/newspeak plan to “deconstruct the administrative state.”

    • Mr. Blobfish

      Started by a Republican. Sharted by another.

    • disqus_lWwzrwNaw6

      Who’s gonna want to admit to being that friggin’ old?

    • blaid droog

      Maybe when tricky dick created it?

    • commatoes

      Remember when this guy was a leader of the GOP.

      “We have fallen heirs to the most glorious heritage a people ever
      received, and each one must do his part if we wish to show that the
      nation is worthy of its good fortune.” – Theodore Roosevelt

  • Michael R

    Hollywoo Stars and Celebrities:
    What Do They Know?
    Do They Know Things??
    Let’s Find Out!

    The size of North Korea

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/92fb229870b6f0e524203b88a18ee141e47a458f5112671e251062fafaf47c92.jpg

    • TJ Barke

      JD Salinger’s best work.

      • WotsAllThisThen

        Salinger and I have so much in common! Did you know we both hate phonies?

        • Lance Thrustwell

          I’m not sure you really mean that.

  • blaid droog

    Where is squeaky fromme?

    • Three Finger Salute

      In prison, where Preznit Shrieky Fromage belongs.

      • Lance Thrustwell

        In Marcy, NY apparently. But ALL the points for ‘Shrieky Fromage’!

  • Yellerduck

    I just hope I can grow one of those “talking twin” tumors like in Total Recall. That way I would have a reason to talk to myself and people would stop looking at me funny, maybe, or at least look at me funny ’cause I had a talking tumor instead.

  • Permit-holder Ron

    Out of curiousity: how many Superfund sites are there in Florida and/or coastal Georgia?

  • Joe Beese
    • Antonin Dvorak

      Here is a sentence I’d never thought I’d say:

      Good for Microsoft.

      • yyyaz

        I have to concur, even though it made me throw up in my mouth a little bit. Grrp.

    • jesterpunk

      Who will republicans side with? The racists or the big businesses?

      • laughingnome

        Small racist business.

      • Bananas Foster

        Me thinks big business donates more to campaigns…

        • jesterpunk

          But the racists will donate as soon as their mommy gives them their allowance.

          • Bananas Foster

            USPS frowns on sending Monopoly money via first class mail.

          • jesterpunk

            But they send it via no class mail. So checkmate liberal.

        • commatoes

          They can fund superpacs but they still have to swing the votes. A racist and his/her apologist are still votes that are cast and counted. Though, they are shit out of luck finding anyone else to vote for.

      • Michael Smith

        The republican leadership is big business. So I guess the question is, will they listen to some dissenting voices inside their community or will they keep courting racists for the political power it gives them?

    • Wolf Tracker

      Then put your money where your mouth is and get those hundreds of lobbyists you have in Washington to go after Rep congress people and threaten to pull your businesses out of Texas and Red states if they don’t pass immigration reform with a path to citizenship for these people.

      You can do a hell of a lot more!

      • THIS.

      • Joe Beese

        Everybody just calm down for a minute! Let’s not get hysterical!

    • NastyBossetti

      But what does that mean, practically? I’m interested to find out.

    • Lance Thrustwell

      Wonder what that means. Microsoft could hire a no-joke army of mercenaries, but I don’t really think that’s what he’s talking about…?

  • elviouslyqueer

    Despite reporting from the comfort of Washington

    Quoth the EPA. Who is monitoring the situation FROM ACTUAL OUTER SPACE.

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      “How’s the acid pit?”
      “Checked Google Earth this morning. Looks fine.”

      • guppy06

        “The 25 pixels or so haven’t changed color much.”

  • Joe Beese

    “To all the Dreamers that are here in this room and in the city of Chicago: You are welcome in the city of Chicago. This is your home. And you have nothing to worry about,” Mr. Emanuel told a group of freshman on the first day of classes at Solorio Academy High School, the Chicago Sun-Times reported.

    “Chicago, our schools, our neighborhoods, our city, as it relates to what President Trump said, will be a Trump-free zone. You have nothing to worry about,” Mr. Emanuel said. “And I want you to know this, and I want your families to know this. And rest assured, I want you to come to school … and pursue your dreams.” …

    “We do not allow federal agents on these grounds and in this building,” he said, the Sun-Times reported. “You are safe and secure here to learn, to grow and to pursue your dreams and we hope that you do so.”

    • Lance Thrustwell

      Yeeaahh…. but they’ve gotta leave to go home sometime.

      Still, good on Rahm. Not my favorite guy, but hell’s bell’s, I’ll take what I can get these days.

      • ltmcdies

        sometimes the you need some one with irritated pit bull genes in them….this might be one of those times.

    • Courser_Resistance

      The President of the University of Colorado made a similar announcement yesterday.

  • Bobathonic

    So when they did the controlled burn, who held their beer?

  • ImGoingBacon

    I can’t with that EPA press release. You can see the professionalism leaving that Agency faster than the evacuation of Pripyat.

    • Phoenixdoglover

      Upfist for meltdown!

    • commatoes

      Professionals at the EPA have been fires (contracts/funding not renewed) or have quit.

  • canes_pugnaces

    And because you don’t have the pulse of America until you read Breitbart’s comments:

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/5c09263b03600fb259bb076ec0ad16d8b25ee459f528f8c041c808f50457452e.png

    • mancityRed6

      some people are just willfully stupid.

      • Permit-holder Ron

        Oh, this goes WAY beyond willfully stupid, well into actively anti-sentience.

      • commatoes

        Stuff they don’t know will just confuse them.

        • mancityRed6

          two replies now from the brainfart crew from comments made 18 hours before.

    • They seem nice.

    • mackafritz

      They don’t mention the Rand Corporation, in conjunction with the saucer people under the supervision of the reverse vampires?

    • ltmcdies

      are we sure these aren’t Moldovian bots talking to each other….because if actual breathing Americans are this bloody stupid…I want a wall.

      • mancityRed6

        I got a reply back on a post I made last night when I was playing around.
        19 hours earlier.
        and I did get a thumb for a post about how Curt Schilling paid back pennies on his video game thing.

    • jesterpunk
      • Raan

        I still want some Kriegerrands.

      • C4TWOMAN

        That was the most pathetic part of the comments.

        I was reading someone’s old OMG prepper disaster is right around the corner blog the other day. They decided Panama is the place to be when it all “goes to hell”.
        So they went down scoping out some land, posting images of their adventures. First emmigrating, even as a legal alien, costs close to 10,000–20,000 USD. Second, you’ll apparently get eaten alive by mosquitoes, fleas and bedbugs with only primitive shelter.
        (I personally suspect there are local anti-insect solutions no one is sharing with the gingos…)
        Third, the first place they really wanted was not for sale, and frankly looked like a swamp.

        I honestly didn’t see what the point was of “escaping the collapse” spending 20k to live thousands of miles away in a swamp–surely it’s cheaper to move to Louisiana?
        What are these preppers thinking?

        • jesterpunk

          Preppers thinking?

    • Three Finger Salute

      A pulse, maybe.

      Brain activity? Nope.

    • Courser_Resistance

      WTF are they going to do at the Federal Reserve? It’s like a clearinghouse for transaction not a fucking bank! And even if it was it’s not like Orange Fuckstick is going to share.

      • canes_pugnaces

        Nope, it’s where Soros stores all his gold.

      • Antonin Dvorak

        They’ve watched Die Hard 3 far too many times.

    • Wild Cat

      Damn! I knew that radiation leak in Japan would lead to semi-coherent cockroaches on the internet!

    • elviouslyqueer

      Something something wretched hive of scum and villainy something something something something.

      • Three Finger Salute

        Covfeferacy of Dunces

    • Michael Smith

      What the hell are his “conservative interests”? Anime tentacle porn? Is saying he doesn’t have anyone in DC looking out for his interest in anime tentacle porn?

    • C4TWOMAN

      “We always have bitcoin…”
      ???

      I hope people this disconnected from reality aren’t old enough to vote.

      • commatoes

        I wonder how many have a box of assorted Ron Paul memorabilia.

        • C4TWOMAN

          Remember the Liberty Dollars? I think that’s what they were called….

    • Tokays_don’t_blink

      Theses tools actually think Dump will get off his ass and do anything for them? LOL. And yes, I’m laughing AT them.

    • commatoes

      Yes, watching the “Esoteric Agenda” makes you an informed deep thinker snookums.

  • guppy06

    Defensive, bitchy, and misleading.

    This is what you get when you put snowflakes in charge of the EPA.

  • NotReallyHere

    Option IV) Edgar KB Montrose, Explosives Specialist from The Red Green Show. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/d4e5797104af8b4b0d3d3c0377455ea76b51adb29141141d2262fa14bf0defc2.jpg

    • Lance Thrustwell

      Love the Red Green show!

    • C4TWOMAN

      The Red Green show is pure brilliance! Must watch again soon.

    • commatoes

      I have a utility belt with two rolls of duct tape at the ready.

      • NotReallyHere

        The handyman’s secret weapon!

  • Wolf Tracker

    Trump just claimed we can’t have a greater economy without cutting taxes for the wealthy and then bragged about how great the economy is right now.

    Did someone pass a tax cut and I missed it?

    • Résistance Land Shark Ω

      Someone passed something, but it had nothing to do with taxes …

  • Nockular cavity
  • Ilgattomorte

    Come on, be fair. Everybody is complaining that this administration isn’t actually “protecting” the “environment”. I would argue that the EPA is the most aptly named agency, under a Republican administration.

    Remember “The Healthy Forests Act”? That was the one that killed trees. Or how about the “Clear Skies Initiative”? It was great for polluting the environment. What about “The Internet Freedom Act”? Yeah right.

    “The Environmental Protection Agency” couldn’t be a more perfect name if this administration had named it itself. Face it. If Republicans wanted to draft a law that allowed them to drink the blood of new born puppies they’d call it “The Defense of Cute Puppies Act”, or some such shit.

  • Joe Beese
    • mackafritz

      Yes.

    • More an oxymoron than a joke…

      • Three Finger Salute

        Emphasis on “Moron”.

        Or “Moran,” if you’re a, well, moron.

    • Antonin Dvorak

      Did we just watch them gain self-awareness in real time?

    • Beanz&Berryz

      In three dimensions… dipshits…

    • Master Contrail Program

      If one is into insult comedy.

    • Permit-holder Ron

      Funny, I would have assumed this was self-evident.

    • OrG

      Trick question?

    • Three Finger Salute

      Is water wet?

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      To the victims they’re not.

    • Michael Smith

      I was wondering if they might start to suspect this. It seems a rational realization once they started claiming that they only elected Trump because liberals were so mean and condescending to them. Basically admitting that they are motivated mostly by doing whatever they think will upset liberals, no matter how absurd.

      Unfortunately, the things that upset liberals include running over protesters, sending some of our Best and Brightest into exile because Not White, trying to take everyone’s healthcare away, crippling environmental protections, harping on insane conspiracy theories about the evil of Democrats and liberals while refusing to consider very real evidence of foreign intervention into the election of a conservative demagogue, etc.

      As someone here just said, these acts of “getting even” with those liberal know-it-alls are far from a joke to the people whose lives they destroy.

      • Smibo

        Exactly. “Rolling coal” was fun for a while, but after the thrill faded it left them with an empty feeling. They had to take it to the next level, obvs.

        • commatoes

          Remember, they’re just having fun.

      • little miss high and mighty

        Good points.
        That’s why we shoud avoid baiting them too much on non poitical annoyances. Their indiscretion is greater than just how it looks and sounds.
        Like their religious, sports or fashion arrangements or deranngements.
        They gloat over us heathens and blasphemers more than they gloat over us treehugging homocommies.Go after their sacred banks and corps- not against their sacred cows or tastes. Besides, we on the wackleft share many of their excentricities. Betcha some of them may vote our way sometime if we infiltrate their work break circles,golf foursomes or bowling teams-or , eh, churchgatherings.

    • spangled

      um…duh, republicans as always are slow on the realiization that their party only stands for “liberal tears”

      oh boy i’ve never read a redstate article before. do all their writers sound like my dumbass high school classmates on facebook?

      “people out marching in the streets in 2009 against the growing specter of government spending” – hilarious that they think that’s what the tea party was

      “Whereas previously the base had two major identifying characteristics — 1. a devotion to returning to conservative principles, and 2. an upsetting of the Establishment elite class” – yea republicans really hate the “elites” that they compulsively cater to at every opportunity

      • C4TWOMAN

        Re: Tea Party
        To be fair, in the early days it talked a pretty good populist talk and the dogwhistels depended on locality. That’s how they got the numbers. Only later when the agenda became more obviously reactionary–also too scandals started to pile up–did the Tea Party haemorrhage followers.

        I had a couple friends attend a local Tea Party organization rally. Like I said, talked a good talk, but were complete flakes at organizing. For instance, the regional rep or whoever asked for volunteers from the crowd(!) for the position of treasurer of the group. My friends were thinking,”Anyone could access the group finds. That’s nuts…who are these people?” That was their first and last Tea Party rally.

        This illustrates on some level the image of “grass roots” was something the Tea Party was deliberately grifting from naive people they invited. IMHO

        • Cornelius Fussbudget

          The Koch brothers are not populists. Unfortunately, they CAN hire people who can say populist words from their face holes. Only very stupid people will listen, but in this country you only need a negative three million vote margin to win the presidency.

          • C4TWOMAN

            I disagree only very stupid people will listen. The populism is the “hook”–the whole point of hooks is to get one to listen. How long one listens is a different matter.
            It’s like any con. I would say only very stupid people KEEP listening as the evidence it’s a con piles up.

          • Cornelius Fussbudget

            OK, I agree that was a bit too broad. I meant, “listen” implying “believe”, plus “keep on believing”. I would visit a Trump rally if it was convenient, just out of idle curiosity.

          • C4TWOMAN

            I had this idea of trolling a Trump rally with glitter bombs or something, but the only way I can think of getting close enough would be to pretend to be a Trumper—and I can’t stand the idea of holding a Trump sign, or–shudder–wearing a Trump T-shirt or cap.
            Ah well, probably for the best. I might be arrested for “terrorism”…

          • Cornelius Fussbudget

            Probably for the best. If news of that hit the wingnutosphere, the “glitter” part would be left out. Plus, we might get doxed after they pass out the tiki torches.

          • commatoes

            If you wore a hat with “Make American Groan Again”, I don’t think any Trumpkins would notice.

          • jsmukg

            No. The ‘populism’ is thinly veiled racism, nativism, homophobia, etc…..just regurgitated Amurrikkka First! for the millionth time. Cornelius was quite right–only very stupid people will listen to more than ten seconds of this hatemongering before vomiting.

          • C4TWOMAN

            Hmmm…perhaps you don’t understand why they call it astro-turf and how it works–there is actually a point where the “hate mongering” is not obvious and therefore politically naive people are taken in. Of course this varies with the goals and regional sophistication.

            If the goal is ONLY to give hate speech a veneer, to a hateful audience 100% aware of this, I agree completely.

            But if the goal is to recruit/sell propaganda outside the usual suspects, you can’t be so glib. And initially the Tea Party heavily tried to recruit outside it’s hateful core.

            An example of people falling for garbage who are not haters are University professors who let Anti-semites speakers hold events on campus because they have fallen for the “freeze peach” purity line. They aren’t closet Nazis–they have naively fallen for the “we’re just asking questions” or ” having a healthy debate” line when the actual goal is organizing and spreading white supremacy.

            That said, as I said, there is a point it becomes an obvious bait and switch.

          • jsmukg

            Hmmmm….perhaps you don’t understand that Teathugs *only* tried to ‘recruit’ anyone but obvious racist/nativists/white power types at the very inception of their horrible activities, before they got any power to speak of.
            I’m well aware of the stupid coined Newspeak cliche ‘astroturf,’ dear, thank you, and very unimpressed with both that cliche and with your use of it here. The problem of free speech on campus is far, far more complex than your reductive ‘how dare you let Nazis talk here?’ version of it.

          • C4TWOMAN

            “perhaps you don’t understand that Teathugs *only* tried to ‘recruit’
            anyone but obvious racist/nativists/white power types at the very
            inception of their horrible activities, before they got any power to
            speak of.”

            That was actually part of my point. It is a much complex issue. This bs has been going on for some time, and metastasizing out of control in “radical” leftist communities where naive people have been twiddling their thumbs, basically creating the conditions for the normalization of antisemitism that’s made Tea Party Alt-Right iteration so bold and possible. The Kochs exploited the situation, but they didn’t actually create it–in addition to the “usual suspects”, misguided leftists have been duped into using anti-semite propaganda as part of sometimes valid criticisms of the Isreal-Palistine situation. The result is some leftist/”radical” communities have become dangerously tone deaf to the Nazi/WP organizers among them or nearby. I would share some stories of “alternative radio” falling into this trap, but I think I’ll just let you Google on your own for now.

            As for the rest, you have a strange combination of misplaced outrage about other points I actually agree with/and was making and…I’m not really sure what. But your initial response indicates YOU were the one with the more “reductive” interpretation. I was the one suggesting nuance, remember? Any appearrent “reductiveness” is a result of this limited communication medium and the fact none of us is here to write a term paper.

            Since communications seem to have broken down, I bid you Good Day. =^-^=

          • jsmukg

            Oh, communications broke down the moment you answered my response, and they are completely severed now that you’ve attempted not only to exonerate the Koches (who have created more hate, bigotry, and division than any sociopaths other than the Mercers–perhaps even more than the Mercers) from the responsibility of creating the Teathugs, but attempted to demonize the ‘left’ in a ‘both sides’ argument which I am flabbergasted to see on Wonkette. I think I’ll just let you attempt to bask in your utterly unfounded complacency, permanently, as you are incapable of seeing your own delusions and ‘bothsidesism.’ I bid you farewell; please do not annoy me again.

          • C4TWOMAN

            now that you’ve attempted not only to exonerate the Koches

            Now you are simply lying trolling. Yes, do go away. You and TLM could maybe start a band or something.

        • commatoes

          In re to Freedomworks and Americans For Prosperity, the term is “astroturf”.

          • C4TWOMAN

            Exactly.

      • I like how they thought those were “principles”
        It is a conservative “principle” to be more conservative and fuck those elites.
        WHAT?

        • commatoes

          They’ll tell you the principles when they think you should know. How else are you going to rant without being informed the current topic of outrage?

      • JCfromNC

        Well, you need to understand that “elites” in this context means “well educated and liberal.” “Rich” gets a pass, unless they’re rich and spend their money on liberal causes.

    • commatoes

      I thinks dat dat dere headline be a typo. They accidentally gots an question thingy and I don’t think de “ARE” is supposed to be dere.

  • Beanz&Berryz

    Eagle Creek fire… Latest evac warning:

    Level 1 evacuation orders, meaning people should get ready for a potential evacuation, have been issued for:
    East Troutdale (East of 257th Avenue, north of Stark Street and west of the Sandy River

    This region is actually getting to the very NE edge of urbanized Portland Metro area… West of the Sandy River is where actual suburban towns and neighborhoods start. Level 1 doesn’t mean the fire is gonna get there, but…. if the fire crosses the Sandy River, it becomes a (sub)urban fire and not just a forest fire… (That’s me speaking, not any officials, so far.)

    • Courser_Resistance

      Oh crap, stay safe, okay?

      • Beanz&Berryz

        Will do… I’m mostly near the center of “town”… well, Portland… about 15 miles of increasingly dense housing away from that river…

    • OrG

      I’m at work in Troutdale, I can almost feel it getting closer.

      • Beanz&Berryz

        Oh my… You be safe… Are you in that corner of Troutdale? Has your workplace heard about the warning?

        • OrG

          Far Western edge. Yes they know.

    • RMKH

      May Gaia have mercy on my old stomping grounds

  • Baconzgood

    Because a satellite taking pictures 290 away during a rain storm is EXACTLY the same as slopping through the muck and mud (and poison).

  • Let Freedom Ring Burn! your respiratory system

  • Jonny On Maui

    Dok, you’re on fire today!

    Oops…

    • All the heat will melt the butter on his head, and then where will we be?

      • Jonny On Maui

        Ankle deep in melted butter?

        • commatoes

          Self basting upvote!!!

        • Begin Anew Day

          May Crom make it so!

  • HorseChestnut

    A press release from the EPA cited Breitbart.

    It’s like every day, more of my nightmares come true. The only comfort is knowing I’m not alone.

  • Canis Greyhame

    It’s all fun and games until everyone gets cancer.

  • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

    My guess is that God sent the hurricane to punish Texas for the gay-mo-sexuals. Then Jesus sent a plague of toxic chemicals to punish Texas for Republican’ts.

  • Sentient AI From The Future

    Just wondering if Our Wonket has filed a FOIA request with the FAA Central region Air Traffic Service Center (file-able online) for any flight plans used for the EPA’s aerial imaging? Because I wouldnt put it past these motherfuckers to just rely on the regularly-acquired satellite images and call that surveillance. They tried to smear these reporters, and I bet the fact that they did so was an acknowledgement that they didn’t take any active measures including flying a plane out there.

    • Smibo

      “…through aerial imaging, EPA has already conducted initial assessments at 41 Superfund sites…

      So, they Google-Earthed them, huh?

      • Initial assessment is gov speak for someone looked at something once.

      • Sentient AI From The Future

        And probably between the time the article was published and they responded with their press release.

    • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

      well, unless they’re fabricating data (which some people might think they are)

      https://www.tceq.texas.gov/assets/public/response/hurricanes/ASPECT-preliminary-report-Arkema-Plant-response.pdf

      • Sentient AI From The Future

        I’m not going to go that far. I am pleasantly surprised that at least one site was viewed from actual EPA aircraft.

        • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

          well, that was arkema, i.e the one on fire, so I’m guessing they got filters and sensors ans tuff in the plane to test for any nasty chemicals.

      • Pax Americana Per Ars Smith

        Probably flew over with SR-71 Blackbirds or U2s so they wouldn’t have to fly less than 70,000 feet.

  • Viktor

    I hope Scott Pruitt gets black lung

    • Spurning Beer

      We call it “African American lung.”

  • blaid droog

    I live in northeast Florida, in the asshole of jorjuh. Just came home from the grocery store. It was insane. I turned around and left instantly. Scared bunnies and snowflakes stocking up for a hurricane still 500 miles away and not even expected to hit this part of the state. Us olds used to have hurricane parties and we’d dance naked in the eye. Like death,No need to fear what’s gonna happen anyway. Except, unlike death, the storm may not happen. Rivers don’t fear the hurricane, nor do the oaks or the pines. Let’s be like they are, la la la la, la. Come on baby, let’s dance in the eye of the storm.

  • Bitter Scribe

    Whatever they paid those guys to get in a boat and go to an underwater acid pit, it isn’t nearly enough.

  • Grokenstein

    I trust a Trump toady’s assessment of “aerial imaging” about as much as I trusted Bill Frist’s “video diagnosis” of Terry Schiavo.

    Meanwhile, Cap’n Oxycontin is declaring Irma to be a lib hoax. Hopefully his audience will line up on the beaches to see him proven correct…but let their kids flee to safe ground.

  • Zyxomma

    We’re fine. How are you?

  • Tom Mears

    In another life I worked for one of the contractors hired by EPA to do the actual work on the Superfund sites. Generally the people working for EPA overseeing superfund sites were of the caliber that government work was their only option since none of the private companies would hire them.

  • mardam422

    How dare the reporters report from the comfort of Washington!! WE looked at the sites, with photographs, from the comfort of Washington.

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