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BREAKING ACHTUNG NEWSFLASH in what may be the dumbest, most in-your-face collusion/conspiracy/scandal of all time. NBC’s Ken Dilanian reports that at Donald Trump Jr.’s Russian conspiracy meeting with the Kremlin-connected lawyer and the Russian spies, then-campaign chair Paul Manafort took a bunch of notes on his flip phone, and they said things like “RNC” and “donations.” Specifically those words were really close to each other, and sources call the notes Manafort took very “cryptic.” Take it away, Dilanian!

Manafort’s notes, typed on a smart phone and described by one briefed source as cryptic, were turned over to the House and Senate intelligence committees and to Special Counsel Robert Mueller. They contained the words “donations,” and “RNC” in close proximity, the sources said.

Dilanian notes that it would be ILLEGAL for Russia to donate to the RNC, because Russia is not America’s 51st state, regardless of how Trump and Vladimir Putin feel about the subject.

If you need all the details about Trump Jr.’s Russian meeting, you are in luck, because we Wonker-splained it right here. The gist is that Donald “Unfuckable Face” Trump Junior was approached by some Russians through an intermediary, and agreed to take a meeting because they were promising super extra luxurious Russian dirt on Hillary Clinton. He was like, “Oh cool, I have never conspired with a foreign power to steal an election, my daddy will be so proud!” When they met, all the Russians (including the Russian spy “lobbyist” who just testified before Robert Mueller’s grand jury) apparently started blah blah blah-ing about BOUNCY RUSSIAN BABIES, which, as we have learned, is code for trying to convince Americans to repeal the Magnitsky Act, which is a big step toward repealing all the sanctions against Russian oligarchs and Russian banks and, by extension, the Russian government.

Early reports of Manafort’s behavior during the meeting said he was just playing with his phone the whole time. We guess we assumed he was catching Pidgeys in Pokemon GO, but NO! It sounds like he was furiously TAKING NOTES on his phone (and maybe catching the occasional Pidgey, because come on, Trump Tower is probably FULL of those fuckers). Notes that included “RNC” and “donations.” Maybe the Russians were saying, “Oh here is Hillary Clinton’s whitey tape, and also our hacker friend here will do a bunch more hacking to help steal the election, and just so you know we’re serious, we’ll also money launder some DONATIONS to the RNC. All you have to do in return is this one little favor, and it’s called MURDER THE SANCTIONS.”

OR MAYBE it was something else entirely! Marcy Wheeler with a theory:

Maybe so! Maybe the Russians had some dirt on dirty donations the RNC has already been receiving.

Or one other possibility, considering that the Russians were promising dirt on Hillary, and also considering the hacked DNC emails that came out soon after! Pull out your Obamaphone right now, like you were going to text message your sexxx friend. Look how close together the “R” and the “D” are. It’s possible the Russians were promising dirty hacked emails — or already had dirty hacked emails — from the DNC and Paul Manafort was just jamming his meat fingers at the phone too fast and not paying attention to his autocorrect.

Remember the timeline here. This meeting was on June 9, 2016. On June 15, the hacker Guccifer 2.0 started releasing hacked DNC documents. Then a month and change later, WikiLeaks started dumping DNC emails.

Do you think our typo theory makes sense? Y/N?

If it’s that, the quid pro quo is fucking obvious, and just more evidence that this conspiracy is YOOOOOGE. Whatever it is, these dumb fuckers are screwed.

Follow Evan Hurst on Twitter RIGHT HERE.

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  • Kurt Weil

    Quick fact check: Donald Jr.’s face is completely fucked.

    Otherwise, fine work as usual Mr. Hurst.

  • laughingnome

    Manafort was dialing for a Russian pee job.

    • Three Finger Salute

      Dial P for Mordor

  • Sensai, can I announce my intent to force them all to become insane by my will alone?

    or would that be a technical violation of the “no punch” rule?

  • yyyaz

    Gentlemen, start your indictments.

    • Ill-Advised

      Aww, c’mon. “LADEEZ AND GEMP’MUNS, START YOUR INDICTMENTS!”

      And rattle off those felony counts like a Manhattan auctioneer on meth.

  • Blackest Noobs

    it’s not even White Boy Friday yet?

    it’s isn’t, right?

    it’s almost White Boy Friday…it’s almost here and the hits…they keep a coming….

    • Three Finger Salute

      Jack Webb libelz.

      • Blackest Noobs

        more like Drexl Spivey libelz

  • memzilla Ω

    White House: “Mr. Manafort has assured us the notes were a reminder that the RNC should not, under any circumstances, take donations from Russia.”

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
    *falls off chair *

  • Covfefe’s Evil Twin

    Too bad it’s such a shitty beer. Otherwise this tee would be great. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/abc07f19f67c73c280808326aa0a7bd14712e29db659aba020caef328520aed6.jpg

    • TundraGrifter

      Could be worse – could be Pabst.

      • coozledad

        Pabst is a good beer if you want to punish yourself for getting drunk on beer.

    • proudgrampa

      Champagne of Bottled Beers libel!

  • coozledad

    Chuck Grassley can clear this up by going on NPR and having his crank sucked.

    • So, I’m guessing you’re not a sustaining member?

      • coozledad

        They lost me before their “talent pool” was either loaned out or given sinecures at Fox.

  • La forza del resistino

    The meeting ran long cuz Donnie Jr was amazed with the Russian nesting dolls. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/2b2a1b6eecfc142ce5bdd46a6579d7101fa49ce556ab78e30f13dcdf6b3b55c7.jpg

    • Antonin Dvorak

      Matryoshka of Malfeasance.

    • The Librarian

      Uh, oh. Was he grabbing them anywhere? Like father, like son?

    • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

      Kind of colorful for buttplugs.

      • Gayer Than Thou

        That’s so your wife doesn’t figure out what they really are.

  • Vincent Ricola

    LOCK THEM UP!

  • Robert James Nugent

    “Damn spell check, I entered adoption.”

  • To be fair, I’ve used the words “rank” and “member” close together when referring to myself in the past but that doesn’t mean it’s true.

    • Ill-Advised

      You mean your member is rank? Has been ranked, like the Scotsman with the blue ribbon?

  • I have a vague memory, early in the Don-Jr-trying-to-come-up-with-reasons-for-meeting time, that he (?) said the dirt on Hillary the Russians were offering was about illegal foreign donations SHE had received. Somebody else on Twitter just said the RNC note could refer to oppo research on Hillary they had done regarding the same thing.

    But whooooooooo knoooooooows?

  • TundraGrifter

    So it comes full circle – back to Hillary’s emails!

  • Tzipora Kaplan

    HOW LONG UNTIL WE GET TO THE ACTUAL SCREWING THO asking for the entire world

  • therblig

    “Sometimes guns just smoke spontaneously for no reason at all. Do too!” – DJT Jr

  • ManchuCandidate

    RNC = Republican National Comittee or should it should be now know as the KNR Komitet National Ryussia

  • Poly_Ester

    Maybe donnie’s self-financed campaign for the nomination was actually financed by Vlad and pals.

    • TundraGrifter

      Directly or indirectly. We know he had to liquidate his stock holdings to raise cash.

    • Now if he just get Moscow to cover for the $1 Million hurricane relief donation he let slip out it’ll bring him some much needed credibility.

  • Bill D. Burger
    • Bright Bart

      is that pharma bro?

  • Covfefe’s Evil Twin

    Do you think our typo theory makes sense? Y/N?
    Josh seems to think so.

    http://talkingpointsmemo.com/edblog/my-theory-on-manaforts-notes

  • eric lundy

    Desperation is a stinky cologne. Looks like the neoliberal Democrats are going to drive this Russia train to the grave.

    • TJ Barke

      Whatever you say, cupcake.

    • Jack Had A Permit

      *yawn*

    • ManchuCandidate

      I think it’s you because that’s not Benghazi 13 Hour Cologne you’re wearing.

    • JMP

      Go fuck yourself, troll.

    • GoutMachine

      Wait, I thought we were commies, not neoliberals. (Not that I expect you to know the difference.)

      • JMP

        I like how the troll in his history keeps claiming that it was somehow Clinton’s decision for the media to keep giving Trump free air time, as if she could somehow control what the mainstream media with its’ right-wing bias that completely hated her covered. That gives away that he’s another wingnut posing at being a purity troll.

        • Gayer Than Thou

          You’d think, if she could control the media and its coverage of her, the stories would’ve tended to be a little bit more along the lines of “Hillary Clinton: Why Is She So Smart and Likeable and Qualified?”

        • Dr. Rrrrrobotnik

          Yeah, somehow Clinton’s desire to face Trump, in the minds of PP’s, transmuted into her singlehandedly giving him the Republican nomination. Though strangely she forgot to turn off the media’s masochistic fascination with him after the primaries.

        • GoutMachine

          Between her Svengali-like hold on the press and Obummer’s time machine, you’d think those two would have a world dictatorship by now. Slacker libruls.

      • CindyinEncinitas

        I’m an old liberal, myself.

    • Dr. Rrrrrobotnik

      Whatever, man.

    • Jack Had A Permit
    • Gayer Than Thou

      [insert gif of Margo Channing saying “I don’t even know what it means” that I decided you weren’t worth the effort of searching for it]

    • Suttree

      Did you find your way here from an old infowars article?

    • I think “neoliberal Democrats” is what you say in between coughing up hairballs.

    • coozledad

      Nuts on wall: walnuts
      Nuts on chest: chestnuts
      Shit on upper lip: wingnuts.

    • Kurt Weil

      I’m more of a Leo nibbler. You did say you were a Leo, didn’t you?

      • CindyinEncinitas

        Typical Leo. It’s all about them.

    • Jack Had A Permit

      Dontcha know, “neocons” and “neolibruls” (scare quotes are awesome) are the ‘SAME PARTY!!!11!!!’. BOTH SIDES!!!!!111!!! THE DERP IS COMING FROM INSIDE THE HOUSE!!!!111! SOYLENT GREEN IS PEEPULZZZZ!!!!!!11!!!

      I like you, Stuart! You’re not like the other people, here in the trailer park.

    • CindyinEncinitas
  • La forza del resistino

    the whole thing was a setup concocted by Hillary using her domestic Russian help that she usually keeps locked up in her basement.

    • Kurt Weil

      Pierogi-gate

  • JMP

    But the congress will still refuse to investigate the treason along with of Donnie’s many other crimes, because they don’t give a shit about the good of the country, having a traitor in the White House is fine as long as he’s a Republican. He really could shoot a man in the middle of 5th Avenue and they’d be perfectly fine with it.

  • ManchuCandidate

    I think the typo was Crypitc when he actually meant to type Cyrillic.

  • lucidamente
  • Joe Beese
  • Mavenmaven

    At this point, the Republicans are fine with the Russians, because they are White.

    • Marsupial99

      Black Russian libelz!!!

      • Ill-Advised

        Vodka has no color! That makes it post-racial, amirite?

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Manafort spokesman Jason Maloni told NBC News that “it is 100 percent false to suggest this meeting included any discussion of donations from Russian sources to either the Trump campaign or the Republican Party. Mr. Manafort provided the Senate Intelligence Committee with the facts and his notes so this speculation and conjecture is pointless and wrong.”

    Well, since “suggest” does not mean “come out and say,” I suppose that is true enough…

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/d672fd027b27106523dbd2222ecd21fa423eceeedbb943b050b416d23af39010.jpg

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    A person familiar with Mueller’s strategy said that whether or not Trump made a “knowingly false statement” is now of interest to prosecutors.

    “Even if Trump is not charged with a crime as a result of the statement, it could be useful to Mueller’s team to show Trump’s conduct to a jury that may be considering other charges,” the person said.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/57a1dd4c499acd5f81d9e84a59b70dbd613bd09071dbd9c72690178d9310ff11.jpg

  • Three Finger Salute

    Russia is not America’s 51st State. America is a Russian Oblast. Haven’t you ever heard of a Russian reversal? In Soviet Mirror Universe, Russia annex YOU!

    • ManchuCandidate

      Crimea river!

      • laughingnome

        Ural in trouble now!

        • Ill-Advised

          Moscow to see lawyers at once.

    • laughingnome

      The RNC is an oblast.

      • Gayer Than Thou

        I had an oblast once, but they lanced it.

        • Lance Thrustwell

          did what now?

        • CindyinEncinitas

          That’s the most Volga thing I’ve heard all day.

          • Msgr_MΩment

            I’m telling Don!

        • Msgr_MΩment

          Oblast D
          Oblast Da
          Life goes on, braw.

  • lucidamente

    You know what Tomi Lahren will say about this on Fox tonight?

    • Gayer Than Thou

      “What did Hillary know about Benghazi, and when did she know it?”

    • ManchuCandidate

      “Waaah Trump is a great man. He only grabbed my pussy twice unlike Faux execs! Uh, wait wut?


      Do I still get my health insurance?”

    • Vincent Ricola

      I don’t know, but I’m willing to wager it will be accompanied by a “DNC” banner.

    • TJ Barke

      Tabitha Lightfoot?

      • Three Finger Salute

        Samantha Stevens’ daughter and legendary Canadian folk singer libelz.

    • WotsAllThisThen

      “I’ll stop talking about Hillary’s emails when the FBI stops talking about Trump dying in prison.”

      • cmd resistor

        I saw some story on I think the Hill about how Grassley and L. Graham think Comey decided to exonerate Hillary BEFORE HE EVEN INTERVIEWED HER. Not that he didn’t interview her, of course. And when you read it, it’s at best speculation that he was leaning toward exoneration before talked to her, according to SOURCES. Looked like a lot of nothing to me, so, good for several pundity blab sessions on the TV, at least.

        • Ill-Advised

          It takes a lot of talk to make something from nothing.

          He who knows, doesn’t say. He who says, doesn’t know.

          • cmd resistor

            Yet, they will keep trying.

    • I’ll stop talking after everyone else stops talking and until then I’m going to keep talking.

      • CindyinEncinitas

        I’ll stop talking and then you can talk and then you can stop and stop some more and I will stop also too. *crickets*

      • Ill-Advised

        Filibuster material!

    • The Librarian

      Lies and more lies?

  • Mr. Blobfish

    I won’t be happy until every trump’s main source of income is giving handies out on the interstate.

    • Martini Ambassador 🍸

      And think how much harder he’d have to work at it, given his physical disadvantages; left AND right.

    • Crank Tango

      #notmyinterstate

    • Msgr_MΩment

      I’m sure he’ll get kicked out of that job, too.

  • Not O/T because everything is connected now.

    Over at Breitbart I’m being told things:

    Rank Member 29 minutes ago

    “I’m confused as to who is on what team anymore.”

    Herbert Walter a few seconds ago

    “This is because the American people lack a central committee of intelligent and capable leaders committed to the American cause.
    The actual truth is incapable of being concisely and clearly expressed. Those who know are either incapable or unwilling to sacrifice for it
    Trump’s genius was to reduce the aspirations of the Republic to an acronym. But much of the policy on which this hope stands cannot be openly expressed–for example, russo-american entente, the public trials and executions of the brush, billary, bongo crime networks, or the destruction of islam. If the nwo believed that the American people were capable of rising to these sublime tasks, they would proceed to immediate internecine warfare, foreign war, or invasion of the armies of foreign foes”

    • jesterpunk

      What?

    • Resistance Fighter Astraea

      That certainly is a lot of words.

    • memzilla Ω

      I read that and I actually felt one of my IQ points evaporate.

      • Beanz&Berryz

        When God closes a door…

        • Ill-Advised

          …like State Farm, Hodor is there.

    • Dr. Rrrrrobotnik

      It must be oddly comforting to think that literally everything on earth is proceeding in an enormous, demonic plan.

      • ignorance is bliss until you get 50 inches of rainfall in 5 days.

        • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

          Reality does have a way of intruding

    • WotsAllThisThen

      Somebody’s been reading The Turner Diaries.

    • Antonin Dvorak

      Whatever you say Herb.
      https://i.imgflip.com/ywep6.jpg

    • Wolf Tracker

      LOL- you got hit by one of the Euro Nazi trash that spams their propaganda on any post that is getting attention.

      • It reads like Foucault on a bad acid trip.

        • Wolf Tracker

          I know.. it is bizarre shit.

    • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

      Yes, because show trials and executions are not the sign of an authoritarian regime that would not be met with equal amounts of violence.

    • Martini Ambassador 🍸

      They do say that bath salts are making a comeback with certain segments of the RWNJ commenting community.

    • Mr. Blobfish

      NWO?!? That’s so 90’s.

      • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

        They really weren’t the same after Hogan dropped the belt at Starrcade ’97.

    • CindyinEncinitas

      I think it would be a good idea if our next leaders were committed to the American cause.

      • Swampgas_Man

        These guys should be just plain committed.

    • Lance Thrustwell

      Interesting dialect of Insane.

    • MrTusks

      That last guy’s impressive. I bet his Call of Duty rank is REALLY high.

    • BrianW

      Ya know, “a central committee of intelligent and capable leaders committed to the American cause” sounds suspiciously, um, Leninist to me….

      EDIT: Oops, forgot the show trials and executions part. That’s just plain Stalinist. Glad these guys are such American patriots.

      • Three Finger Salute

        Bannon said he was a Leninist. Surprised they didn’t oust him from the site years ago for being a goddamn commie.

        • BrianW

          I did not know he had said that. I know that his “dismantling the State” shtick sounded that way, but didn’t realize he had admitted it openly.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      HW lost me at “Trump’s genius”. Now I need to clean my keyboard.

    • Nockular cavity

      “The aspirations of the Republic???” You mean destroying said Republic?

      Besides, inanimate objects don’t have “aspirations,” asshole.

    • TJ Barke

      How do these people manage to turn on their computers?

      • willi0000000

        their mothers buy in-home service with the machine.

        [ . . . and the stupid techie leaves it running ]

  • If you want to get ahead in Today’s GOP…
    https://i.imgflip.com/1v2noj.jpg

    I don’t know about Idaho

  • La forza del resistino

    Should this whole sheebang go to trial, can Donald request a change of venue to say, Moscow, saying Wonkette has tainted the jury pool here in the states.

    • Ricky Gay

      Don carries taint with him!

      • La forza del resistino

        He does. But, I errored in not noting that Wonkette is in fact a worldwide media empire.

  • Mpeg

    I couldn never catch a pidgey with my flip phone. Lord knows I’ve tried.

  • Bill D. Burger
  • altleftjohn

    When asked if Trump is under house arrest, a spokesman for General Kelly mumbled, “Uh … not yet”

  • Randy Riddle

    Wait … smartphone notes are the new White House tapes?

  • TJ Barke

    OT, but there’s nothing like watermelon in the summertime…

    • Lance Thrustwell

      This here whiskey sour seems to suit the weather as well.

    • Beanz&Berryz

      A WHIP is good pretty much any time…

    • bbayliss

      Blowjobs?

      • TJ Barke

        No experience.

        • bbayliss

          Almost as good as H2O Melon.

  • Good_Gawd_Yall

    I would like to put this out there: folks in trumpworld keep harping on “the Russian dirt didn’t get handed over” as if A) failing to complete your attempted crime means it wasn’t a crime, like “hey, I tried to kill that dude, but I only ended up turning him into a quadriplegic, so we’re cool, right?” and 2) we have only the word of known crimers and asshats like Manfarts, Junior, and the assorted Russians that the dirt wasn’t handed over.
    You know what, trumpanzees? Your boy’s going down and with any luck, he’ll take your whole party with him.

    • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

      One overt act is all it takes for an attempt. Just because my gun jams before I shoot you doesn’t mean I walk away from an ADW charge.

      • Ill-Advised

        Well. If you’re white and I’m black, I suspect it does. I’m suspicious that way.

    • jesterpunk

      The same dumbfucks who claim Hillary is guilty because the right has spent 30+ years investigating her and haven’t found anything decide that Trump is innocent because any investigation is a witch hunt.

      • Three Finger Salute

        You didn’t hear that she was already found guilty of unlawful simultaneous possession of job and vagina?

        • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

          Sadly. they do feel that is a crime in their Stepford-(trophy) wife world.

  • Bill D. Burger
  • Joe Beese
    • As much as I like the rest of this, my favorite part is “Golly.”

    • Msgr_MΩment

      …or else it means you know bloody well that you will be, because guilty.

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      He does have his “solemn” face on, doesn’t he. For a dedicated career public servant, patriot, and Vietnam Nam vet, I can’t even imagine what it must be like for him to find out that this kind of corruption was taking place. The Kremlins own candidate…

      • Three Finger Salute

        The Muscovian Candidate.

    • A newly unearthed letter shows longtime Trump attorney Michael Cohen forcefully pushing back against an intelligence dossier that alleged President Donald Trump had hired prostitutes to perform a “golden shower” in a Russian hotel.

      Corralery: If your lawyers have to argue what constitutes a “performance”, it means URINE LUCK

      • Ill-Advised

        Unless Urine analysis. Apologies to David Foster Wallace, who is turning over in his grave.

  • Bill D. Burger
    • ManchuCandidate

      It’s not easy taking Russian green!

      • They we’re only talking about putting “Russian” dressing on their “Hillary” salad. Just normal conversation, no Mafia code words, really

  • Jennifer R
    • Antonin Dvorak
    • Teecha

      That’s very nice of them. But who the fuck wrote the article? All the has/haves are wrong and now my eyes and brain are crying. Where’s my red pen gone?

    • Bill D. Burger

      Love the trolling, but it appears to be a fake. Lots of very bad grammar in the article.

      (*btw: I love Betty Bowers’ site.)

    • Msgr_MΩment

      To be fair, they are actual billionaires.

  • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste
  • proudgrampa

    WHOA IF TRUE!!!

  • Longstreet63

    Oh, cmon, people. It’s not like conspiring with a foreign power to influence an election is against the law or something…
    Oh, it is? About a dozen laws?
    Ah.
    Never mind.

  • Bill D. Burger
    • ManchuCandidate

      All for 666 Fifth Ave.

      Quite a deal with the real estate devil. An omen of things to come if you will.

      • Msgr_MΩment

        Has VankVank architected any demonspawn yet?

    • Joe Beese

      – Regarding the mortgage for 666 Fifth Avenue: “The company still holds half of a $1.2 billion mortgage, on which it hasn’t paid a cent. The full amount is due in February 2019.”

      – “After a refinancing, the deed to 666 Fifth sits in an escrow account, ready to be seized by lenders in a default, an action indicating their trust has grown thin.”

      • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

        Buy high, sell low. Wizards of finance they are.

        • Joe Beese

          … at 666 Fifth Avenue, debt payments have totaled more than net income almost every year since Kushner acquired the tower a decade ago.

          • bbayliss

            Another great “deal maker”.

        • Wizards of money laundering. Who looks at the books of a failed building?

      • Guess who gets to pay that when it goes belly up?

        • Joe Beese

          Hitler?

      • Ill-Advised

        Cain’t nevah trus’ de debil.

    • Hmmmm across the globe you say?

    • Gayer Than Thou

      That was a fascinating read. Thanks!

  • Crystalclear12

    I’m just going to enjoy the fact there is no good interpretation of this. No innocent excuse to make it OK.

    • cmd resistor

      Sarah Huckabee Sanders’ kids typed those notes.

    • Yellerduck

      He was simply playing Boggle. “Donations” gets a big score.

      • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

        Now that’s funny in a week when there hasn’t been much to laugh about.

  • WotsAllThisThen

    Right now Trump is wishing he had just preemptively pardoned everyone on his first day in office.

    • jesterpunk

      I want Trump to pardon himself then go on national television and brag about all the crimes he committed. I know he doesnt understand how government works and he wont understand the limitations of the pardoning power either.

      • Joe Beese

        Trump is, of course, shameless enough to pardon himself. And there’s nothing but the Gorsuch court to keep him from getting away with it.

        • Zippy W Pinhead

          And the Paul Ryan House…

          wait, oh shit…

          • bbayliss

            I believe we agreed this amounts to congressional immunity.

        • jesterpunk

          Well except the thing called the constitution. You cant pardon someone who is impeached.

          https://www.law.cornell.edu/constitution/articleii

          The President shall be commander in chief of the Army and Navy of the United States, and of the militia of the several states, when called into the actual service of the United States; he may require the opinion, in writing, of the principal officer in each of the executive departments, upon any subject relating to the duties of their respective offices, and he shall have power to grant reprieves and pardons for offenses against the United States, except in cases of impeachment.

          • Joe Beese

            The Constitution is what the Gorsuch court says it is.

          • jesterpunk

            Yes but most of them think he is A Idiot who isnt even qualified to get their drinks.

          • Beanz&Berryz

            “Cases of impeachment” is murky. Does the pardon not work only post-impeachment, or does it also not work for impeachable crimes?

          • jesterpunk

            Good question since we have never actually had a president be impeached before.

          • Beanz&Berryz

            Convicted of impeachment…

          • jesterpunk

            Right the most that has happened is the House voted to impeach, the senate never actually convicted anyone to complete the impeachment.

          • Beanz&Berryz

            Never to completion…

          • Zippy W Pinhead

            Just the tip…

    • Wolf Tracker

      He may have and he could have that pardon already written and stashed in a safe for a big reveal. Would not surprise me at all.

      • Notreelyhelping

        Maybe someone should tell Geraldo Rivera about that.

  • Wolf Tracker

    So far we know McConnell, Ryan, Nunes, Rohrabacher and several Reps in congress accepted Russian donations to their super PAC to keep them hid.

    I think when this all comes out it won’t just be Trump and his traitors with their asses in a sling and could be the RNC and many of the Rep congress.

    Now the problem is how do we charge them when they hold all 3 houses?

    • Yellerduck

      With pitchforks and torches? (Pitchforks and torches made of votes.)

      • Wolf Tracker

        I like the way you think!

        • Eileen Besse

          Ditto!

      • Blackest Noobs

        ala French Style.

        and folks this reckoning is a long time coming….they keep up with their unethical, unmoral, unhuman “shennigans,” they’ll lose more than their jobs, heads will literally roll.

        can’t say we didn’t warn them…..this is the winter that is coming.

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      See, this is why I keep thinking they won’t impeach him – they’re afraid of how far down the digging will go. I’m seeing more of a “we all go talk to Mike and make him tell 45 he’s invoking the 25th so 45 resigns” deal here. My fear is that once 45 is gone the whole thing will get squashed.

      • BackDoorMan

        … yeah, what you said. Especially the last sentence.

    • bbayliss

      My dream come true.
      But forget about charging them, how do we keep them from sabotaging the works?

  • Crystalclear12

    Could have gone better?

  • BigCSouthside

    It seems like wild speculation at first but…

    This was a meeting between campaign staff and lobbyists (at least) for a foreign government.

    IF the conversation was about sanctions, how in the fuck does conversions of campaign finance or any fucking party committee come up if there isn’t some shaaaaady shit being talked about?

    • Campaign staff and foreing lobyist should reallllly be enough. Lol i am now wondering about all the egg on dana’s face

      • Three Finger Salute

        That’s not egg…

  • Mr. Blobfish

    I hear this goes right to the top!

    • Joe Beese

      A “Trump was too stupid to know what was going on” defense is already being mapped out.

      • therblig

        is he really going to walk back all that “good brain” stuff?

        • Joe Beese

          There’s already mountains of evidence of his cognitive dysfunction.

          https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jHyQiRBTk1k

        • Jonny On Maui

          “Good brain”? The current POTUS can’t even speak in complete sentences. What “brain”?

      • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

        Worked for Reagan.

        • proudgrampa

          Yup. He was sleepwalking at the time.

        • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

          Trump will never stand for it. He’s the smartest guy in the room, always. He would never allow the “stoopid” defense.

    • bbayliss

      But “stays in the family”

    • altleftjohn

      Like scum floats to the surface.

  • MynameisBlarney

    I was gonna post this, but…

    http://i.imgur.com/K4EphXx.png

    Then I saw this.

    http://i.imgur.com/YSexECu.png

  • foiled again

    Any deal involving Donny The Joonyer is squid pro quo.

    • Three Finger Salute

      Cephalopod libelz.

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      Do not anger Cthulhu. Donnie is not fit for chum.

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        He shall be eaten last

  • AngryNotSoOldHippy .

    I like how the Russian traitor asshole Manafort demanded “it is 100 percent false to suggest this meeting included any discussion of donations from Russian sources” even after the shitting Russian traitor has been repeatedly caught lying like a fucking Republican traitor. How amusing watching these Republican white supremacists and Russian traitors spew their lies.

  • Les Appentis De la résistance

    Maybe he meat fingered RNA to become RNC because he was scheduling a sperm donation?

  • whitroth

    Interesting question: who *else* is Mueller going to find involved? Rohrbacker? Nunes?

    At what point will enough of them have criminal charges filed against them that it CHANGES THE MAJORITY in either House or Senate?

    Anyone thought of that possibility?

    • MynameisBlarney

      That and copious quantities of beer are the only way I can sleep at night.

      • Kiri the Unicorn

        You look so beautiful, lying there naked in the moonlight…

    • Vincent Ricola

      That’s a nice looking speakership you got there Mr. Ryan, it’d be a shame if anything happened to it because you willingly took dirty money from Russia and laundered it through the dirty RNC.

    • Beanz&Berryz

      And it looks like members of Congress get the Courts, not impeachment…

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      I’d be happy if enough of them go down to give us President Hatch (or better yet, President Pelosi if it takes until 2019)

    • Mr. Blobfish

      Priebus ran the RNC, so there’s him.

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        If it spills into the RNC, they’re in serious shit

        • bbayliss

          When

        • Raan

          Lord, let this shit extend to the Kochs through the RNC.

          • Jonny On Maui

            I certainly hope so but I doubt anything will happen to them. The owners aren’t responsible for the actions of their property.

      • Vincent Ricola

        And it’s well-known his bff is Paul Ryan. Lordy.

    • proudgrampa

      Hell, we’re all PRAYING for that possibility!

    • Wolf Tracker

      Mueller wants the big dog Trump and will go after Manafort and Flynn and Kushner to get to him.

      When they get to hearings it will probably expose alot of other people in congress like Rohrabacher and McConnel that can be charged later or handled by congress through their own process.

      Manaforts only mandate is the Trump campaign so he can’t go after anyone not connected to that but he can sure expose other people and let them be charged by congress or the FBI.

      • Wolf Tracker

        Edit: I meant Mueller’s mandate not Manafort sorry.

        • bbayliss

          mandate is the campaign and anything connected to it.

          • Wolf Tracker

            Right but it would have to be direct connection so say they expose McConnell took contributions from Russians. He can expose that but he can’t go after McConnell because he wasn’t part of the Trump campaign.

          • bbayliss

            What responsibility does the GOP have for changes to the platform made at the convention? I believe that’s part of the quid pro quo.
            Would this all fall on Priebus?

      • weejee

        Or, free from 45 pardons, state AGs.

    • weejee

      And the Ann Coulter – Paul Ryan – Ayn Rand ménage à trois.

    • JMP

      Bill Belichick, Scott Baio, Ted Nugent and Kid Rock?

  • Raan
    • Joe Beese

      He gets paid a lot more now that he’s not fat.

      Maybe there’s a lesson in that for me…

      • Raan

        Yeah, but he’s still a lovable goof.

        There’s a lesson in that, too.

      • …that’s fat? Damn tough crowd

  • Bill D. Burger

    Manafort hiding evidence from the FBI.

    http://i.imgur.com/JYAVWj7.gif

    • BeachLoafer

      So that’s where our Wonkette donations go …

      • GoutMachine

        Is that Wonkbabby?

        • ahughes798

          I bet it is, the little stinker.

    • AnnieGetYerFun

      Oh, hey, that’s actually how I put my budget together!

    • Rags

      4-5’s corporate tax cuts

  • bbayliss

    Oh,………. my………… goodness….
    speechless

  • Zippy W Pinhead

    So glad all the leaks stopped once they kicked Bannon out of the White House

  • Mr. Blobfish

    Crikey! How many Hail Marys and Our Fathers do you have to say for colluding with the Ruskies?

  • laughingnome

    RNC= Really Nice Cans – he was writing about the Russian lady

    • Msgr_MΩment

      And donating sperm.

  • Bill D. Burger
    • Raan

      I advise him not to drink any tea for a while.

      • BJW

        Especially if it’s flavored with pollonium

  • Skwerl the Nazi Puncher
    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      That dirt wasn’t hard to find, was it.

      • Skwerl the Nazi Puncher

        I believe it was in the pile marked “stay out: evidence of Russian collusion”.

    • JMP

      That makes no sense at all, the cartoonist put names of completely honest politicians on pile of dirt, the idiot.

      • Daniel

        But if a cartoon says it, it’s true. Pepe proved that.

        • Three Finger Salute

          “Feelz bad, man”

    • mailman27

      Just the name “Obama.” That’s all these guys need to say, like it means something crooked. Eight years of the most scandal-free administration in my lifetime. Garrison is a marginally talented, intellectually bankrupt hack.

    • Is this ben again? Makes ben sense anyway

    • Can someone explain this crap to my lady brain? It is overloaded with Russian shenanigans.

  • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

    Has he tried the “my phone was hacked” defense yet?

  • Mr. Blobfish

    Ya know what? Maybe we would have been better off with President Carson. He ain’t bright enough to collude with Russians.

    • Edith Prickly

      Yeah, but he’d be trying to negotiate with Egypt for the grain they stored in the pyramids.

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      He would have been very confused.

    • Wookie Monster

      He’d put them to sleep.

    • Raan

      Plus, with President Wallpaper Paste, we probably wouldn’t be on the verge of hate strokes every second of every day.

    • Vincent Ricola

      But then we would have to divert emergency resources from the flood victims when he loses his luggage and gets lost on the way to the Houston photo op and decides to take a nap instead.

  • SayItWithWookies

    I thought the RNC had shitloads of filthy rich American donors and didn’t need Russian money. What’s the party of rich assholes coming to?

    • Vincent Ricola

      Greed knows no boarders.

  • sosuume

    Oh, and in late May 2016– Trump’s campaign alerted Senate Republicans that he was running out of funds and not going to have enough money to be on TV in June and probably most of July. Odd timing, that.

  • Daniel

    Obama’s pretty bloody slick to have managed to plant that on Manafort’s phone like that. This just proves the deep state can do anything.

    Unplug your microwaves.

    • Wookie Monster

      You’re not thinking big enough. Manafort actually is Obama in a rubber mask.

      • Daniel

        Everyone is Obama in a rubber mask.

        Except Trump.

        And Obama.

        He’s Hillary in a Saul Alinsky mask in a George Soros mask in an Obama mask.

        There is a looking glass.

        We’re through it.

        And the frickin’ frogs are gay.

        • Three Finger Salute

          Gee, it’s almost like a… Matryoshka doll or something…

          • Wookie Monster

            Turducken.

          • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

            Heh. I could never get past the name “turducken” such that I could actually consider eating one. They are supposed to be tasty, right?

          • Rags

            Only if stuffed inside a sheep that is stuffed inside a camel.

          • 🛶🗣️ Mr Canoehead 🛶🗣️

            wrapped in a mystery inside an enigma

  • Crack_A_Toe_Ah

    Yo Manafort and D. Trump Jr., In your face, and checkmate, and just sayin’ is all.
    There is 100% verifiable proof that Manafort was not catching Pidgies — Pokemon Go was not released until July 6, 2016.

  • Skwerl the Nazi Puncher

    I’d just like everyone to view this chart I just found from the election to remind themselves what we narrowly avoided: https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/4388ff59fd6e60ebdba7e6da574ac33b5260021c8db84138a5d61bc5e016755e.jpg

    • Three Finger Salute

      Oh, of course Russia Today says #PutinDidNothingWrong.

    • Raan

      So…they admit Putin’s a dictator then?

      • Skwerl the Nazi Puncher

        No they only admit that he is not ghey.

    • bbayliss

      Trick question the last two were democratically elected.

      • Skwerl the Nazi Puncher

        Were they?

    • Wookie Monster

      Wow, Hillary killed five times the total population of the Earth!

      • Skwerl the Nazi Puncher

        Unborn white Americans.

    • Mr. Blobfish

      Fake news. Killary was never dictator when she killed all those people.

    • Mr. Blobfish

      Sad Hitler face.

    • (((Aron)))

      Seems legit.

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      RT can kiss my butt.

    • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

      Isn’t revisionist history grand, the rubes will believe anything. They’ll be quoting it on dead brietbart soon.

  • SnarkON

    Wingnuts: “Nothingburger!!!111!!!!”

  • Daniel

    Just to remind everyone: there was a minor controversy way back when we were all so much younger and more naïve when the Trump campaign emailed Scottish MPs and Icelandic politicians requesting funds.

    Just. You know. That happened.

    • GoutMachine

      Oh god, I totally forgot about that.

    • I never forgot. I wanted to know why the fcc ignored it

      • Villago Delenda Est

        FEC. FCC was busy planning to fuck up the Intertubes.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      And repeated it!

  • Jennifer R
    • Antonin Dvorak

      Ruh roh.

    • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

      To spend more time up Trump’s butt.

    • (((Aron)))

      Good for Milwaukee. Probably bad for the rest of us.

    • therblig

      guess he ran out of space for flair on his uniform.

      • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

        He could always gain weight and go the Idi Amin route.

        That is if it doesn’t make his head look too small.

    • Wookie Monster

      Now who will kill prisoners for Jesus?

    • BigCSouthside

      He’s gonna be fucking DHS sec to replace general Kelly I bet

    • to spend more time with his family of AR-15’s?

    • P’jama Pahnts

      Palinesque move to make more dough before his spotlight fades?

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        No, he’s hearing footsteps and they’re gaining on him

    • Notreelyhelping

      In your rear-view mirror, Sessions. Look in your rear-view mirror!

  • Amelia Resists and Persists

    I wonder if this drip drip drip is why he’s going to kill DACA “as early as tomorrow.”

    http://www.rawstory.com/2017/08/trump-to-end-daca-as-early-as-tomorrow-report/

    “The news is back on Russia? QUICK, WHICH GROUP OF MARGINALIZED PEOPLE CAN I SHIT ON???” –The motherfucking president

  • Mr. Blobfish

    OK, Ladeez. Which trump is least fuckable? Don JR. or Eric?

    • OrG

      Trick question?

    • Shanzgood

      They’re all so stupid it’d be like bestiality.

      • OrG

        Beast libelz!

      • laughingnome

        Catherine the Great libelz!!11

      • Jonny On Maui

        You say that like it’s a bad thing…

      • Mr. Blobfish

        We have a winner!

      • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

        As stupid goes, I vote necrophilia.

      • Kiri the Unicorn

        HEY!! *affronted*

        • Shanzgood

          You’re not a beast!

          • Kiri the Unicorn

            No, but I’m good friends with several.

    • Edith Prickly

      All of them, Katie!

      • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

        GMTA! Gottdammit, I always forget to scroll down before I snark!!!

    • Vincent Ricola

      Are the daughters also included in this Sophie’s choice? Because I’ll go with Tiffany as being the most f-able and the rest of them are too gross.

    • Wookie Monster

      Eric is the greasier one, right?

      • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

        Self-lubricating.

        They use astroglide as hair tonic, right?

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      Yes.

    • Wookie Monster

      Which one looks the least like Patrick Bateman?

      • sgt. jmk of the résistance

        NOT,K.

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      AOT,K.

    • Persistent Tennessee Rain

      AOT, K

    • Spurning Beer

      [* please nobody say Barron, please nobody say Barron, please nobody say Barron *]

    • Aot k

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Not with Dok’s peen!

    • Edith Prickly

      There is not enough money or alcohol in the world to make that happen.

  • OrG

    Can we just put these fuckers in jail now?
    Mmmkay thnx.

    • bbayliss

      Not until we’ve got the whole package, the RNC, fox, breitbart, infowars, Ryan, McConnell, Nunes, whatshisname, starts with an R, putin’s boy, from California.

      • Msgr_MΩment

        Reddenbacher! Thank you. Don’t mind if I do.

        • bbayliss

          THANK YOU!! except I think that’s the popcorn guy, the name I could not think of is Rohrabacher. (googled it)
          It’s this word finding deficit since the event.

  • mailman27

    Wait, are you saying it was the Dussians?

    • Msgr_MΩment

      They committed tdeason.

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸
    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      Woot woot!!

    • Joe Beese

      The dream is over…

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      A Fox News gig pays more and he gets more attention, yes?

      • Amelia Resists and Persists

        Fox has already made their disgusting racist hire for the week, so maybe CNN instead.

        • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

          Point!

        • Wookie Monster

          Is Eric Bolling coming back is he gone for good?

    • Joe Beese

      No one could look at that picture and think he’s not an asshole.

    • Spurning Beer

      In order to spend more time with the stick up his ass?

      • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

        That ain’t no stick!

    • Vincent Ricola

      What interesting timing for comrade Clarke to resign. Jeepers.

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        “I’m sorry Mr Clarke, but there’s no way you will pass the security clearance test. In fact, have you considered retiring? Because we found out about this quite easily and you know how bad the WH leaks”

    • Chyron HR

      Looks like someone’s jealous of Trump’s new favorite sheriff.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      So I’m assuming the other shoe will drop tomorrow afternoon?

    • Fartknocker

      He looks like a security guard at Chili’s with all that fucking flair.

    • BigCSouthside

      A couple things:

      He’s getting a trump admin spot

      Or

      He’s involved in this russia shit

      • Msgr_MΩment

        Dead girl?
        Live boy?

    • Mr. Blobfish

      Book sales must be really taking off.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      I’m shocked. The sheriff?
      I would have guessed the deputy.

      • ahughes798

        ISWYDT! you win everything!

    • BearDeLaOursistance

      Da kapo, al finé.

    • Edith Prickly

      I hope that doesn’t mean he will have more time to be A Idiot on the teevee….

    • Persistent Demme
  • Joe Beese
    • Magic words and idols to fallen gods. These fucks be whack

  • Jack Had A Permit

    Now, hear me out on this one. I’m not a particularly smart man, but I do get some less-than-technical things. I have had this unshakable feeling that Donnie Two Scoops never actually intended to win the election. I am not the only one with this little theory.

    It seems to me, knowing what we know about his uncontrollable desire to double down on literally everything that he felt cornered when he came close to winning and simply could not stop himself from jumping headlong into it.

    I think he intended to lose and spend the next four to eight years attacking Hillary Clinton. If true, this gives him greater incentive to
    dig up dirt on her by any means necessary. I don’t know how this works, but it seems to me like Citizen tRump would face less liability than President tRump for meeting with Russians to dig up dirt on Hillz. Even if such a thing were illegal, would anyone really care if it were just Citizen tRump? Wouldn’t it have been generally dismissed by forward thinking people as a case of sour grapes from a known crackpot who trafficked in conspiracy theories?

    Such a venture would have made him a lot richer and would have given him the increased attention he craved without the necessary
    constraints public service is bound by.

    Taking all this into consideration, it’s not hard to believe that Donnie neglected to tell anyone else about his desire to lose. Thinking they were acting in Donnie’s best interest., his surrogates were far too successful in installing him.

    Given his psychological nature, he couldn’t simply refuse and concede. After all, he’d already tripled and quadrupled down on his bid for the office and walking away in such a public way just was not an option his diseased little mind could entertain.

    TL; DR It’s The Producers made reality. Gawd Bless Amuricah!

    • Wolf Tracker

      I have thought that all along and he tried hard to lose making some of the stupidest comments ever but his base still voted for him.

    • Mr. Blobfish
    • unionthuggery
    • commatoes

      I think though that it was a reaction to being ridiculed by Obama at the WHCD, for El Cheeto Bandito’s stupid “investigators in Hawaii” lie. He ran hoping to lose narrowly to HRC in order to get a better deal for his show. Now that he unexpectedly won, he is systematically trying to erase any achievement/policy by Obama. Look at his “policy” goals in terms of being exactly 180° to Obama.

      • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

        And if they weren’t, the evil empire could easily goad him into it. All they would have to say is “But, Obama…” and he would grab his pen in his tiny hands.

    • godsaidHA

      Before the primaries, I remember reading that he just wanted to shake things up and that he expected to place no higher than third. If only that had happened…

  • Randy Riddle

    Hmm … the RNC’s current finance chairman has an interesting connection with Trump and Russia …

    “This week it was revealed that Donald Trump was trying to build Trump Tower Moscow during the election, and that Trump’s longtime personal attorney Michael Cohen reached out directly to the Kremlin for help on the deal during the campaign. Cohen is also connected to Russian bank Gazprom through a lobbying firm, as reported by Mother Jones (link). He was involved in the bizarre scheme earlier this year by Kremlin representatives to convince Trump to use blackmail material to get Ukraine to officially give up Crimea. Cohen’s connections to the Kremlin are lengthy and suspicious to say the least.”
    http://www.palmerreport.com/opinion/wonder-mcconnell-ryan-russia/4643/

    • Mr. Blobfish

      Gazprom not bank. Gazprom extract petroleum. By the way, I can’t wait to find out who got that great 19% ownership deal for Gazprom.

      • rebecca

        19 percent was rosneft. and you know who got it ;)

        • Mr. Blobfish

          I really want to believe trump got it.

      • bbayliss

        19.5% it was 19% until trump extended his tiny palm.

    • Wolf Tracker

      Cohen has a long history working for Russian interests and is heavily involved in defending Russian mafia.

      It appears he may be flipping or looking for a deal to save his own ass.

      • Three Finger Salute

        Add another to the list of “Jewish Nazis” that, sadly and scarily, are a thing.

  • Beowoof14

    You know I keep hoping there are some state crimes in there where Don Jr. will get chain gang work.

  • Ms.MLG on Maui

    Funny…my notes say LOCK THEM UP and Remember to pick up a bag of baby spinach.

    • P’jama Pahnts

      True fact: non-baby spinach is just as good and results in fewer dead spinach-babies.

      • Ms.MLG on Maui

        I make up for it by only buying full size candy bars.

        • Beanz&Berryz

          Old-sized full-size candy bars or new-sized full-size candy bars?

          • ahughes798

            I like that “New Candy Bar Smell” myself.

          • Ms.MLG on Maui

            Whatever has MOAR CHOCOLATE.

      • UncleTravelingMatt

        I prefer spinach that lacks life experience. It’s easier to kill.

        • Raan

          I prefer spinach that is actually chocolate.

      • Msgr_MΩment

        I eat only free-range spinach.

    • Persistent Tennessee Rain

      So, Michelle Obama is tougher than the thin skinned man baby. Whodathunkit?

    • Raan

      My notes just say “FUCK” and “AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA”.

  • Wookie Monster

    Prince Eric is tweeting that Daddy is depressed and suicidal because of all the mean things being said about him.

    • Mr. Blobfish

      No one likes his sad, loser of a daddy.

      • Raan

        I hate to hipster all over the buyer’s remorse Trump voters, but we hated him before it was cool.

        • WotsAllThisThen

          “Nobody could have predicted Trump would be exactly like he’s always been.”

      • Three Finger Salute

        And he’s an extreme pathological narcissist with delusions of grandiosity, which means ego gratification is literally his life blood. Like addicts to heroin, meth, or any other substance. You ever see how these washed up celebrities all of a sudden die of drug overdoses once they’re out of the limelight? It literally kills them not to have people constantly fawning over them. Some people get an unhealthy high off social connections (which they pursue in an already unhealthy manner that’s one-sided and only based on what’s good for them).

        Humans evolved for the “social chemical” oxytocin to provide health benefits. When relations are toxic, such as in dysfunctional families or bad marriages, the person is lacking in that chemical, and develops either an aversion to social contact out of fear of being hurt again — or an obsessive and insatiable desire to always have the people around them be “on” for them and them only, without any regard for the other people’s willingness or ability to be “on.” This is what happens with fading stars who put their kids in the spotlight so they can still have attention focused on them — or people with Munchausen syndrome by proxy, who make another person sick so they can get attention and sympathy for something that isn’t even true.

        In the case of dangerously narcissistic leaders (like CEOs or politicians), they will intentionally manufacture crises either within the organization or externally so that they can play “hero” and be looked at for addressing it in one way or another. On a macro scale, they’re arsonists who put out their own fires. Anyone who challenges or outright breaks this worldview of being a misunderstood genius or a poor thing who’s been “treated unfairly” is an enemy to the “health” of the ego, like the body rejects toxins or purges waste from itself. But since these are human beings we’re talking about, and not airborne pathogens or bowel movements, whistleblowers and people who point out that the emperor is nude do actually suffer the consequences of being “purged.” A narcissist like Trump requires “inoculation” of sorts (ironically, a social vaccine, how about that), otherwise he will present with a “reaction” — and start “purging” bigly.

        TL;DR — he is mentally ill. And it won’t be pretty when we all have to bear the brunt of his abusive rage.

        • bbayliss

          “an aversion to social contact out of fear”
          C’mon, it can’t just be introversion, or the perfectly justifiable recognition that humans are garbage animals, repugnate, and insane?

          • Three Finger Salute

            Well, there’s that. The fear of being harmed by said members of the species — particularly if one has already.

          • bbayliss

            What if you’re already afraid of everything?

    • laughingnome

      Is this true?

    • Wolf Tracker

      Is he sitting in his bunker mumbling “Cyanide or bullet?”

      • RobGinChicago

        How about both, Cheetolini. Why be half-assed about it.

    • TJ Barke

      Seems like the sort of guy who should be president…

    • therblig
    • Vincent Ricola

      It’s the little bitty hand jokes, huh. Donald is too proud of the pussygrabbing and orange spray tan to be upset about those jokes, so it’s got to be the jokes about his child-sized hands.

    • Fartknocker

      Tell Daddy to walk it off, have a KFC 12 pack and a 6 pack of diet Coke-Cola. He’s MAGA. Now if he strokes out, well, that shit just happens.

    • Ms.MLG on Maui

      Mean things like he is a sad, weak, flaccid man-baby with tiny hands who can’t palm a ping pong ball? Things like that?

      • Wookie Monster

        That a more.

    • Raan

      Well, he ruined the reputation of all of his businesses, a majority of Americans wouldn’t piss on him if he were on fire (plus it would arouse him), and he keeps falling short of showing up his uppity predecessor.

      That’d do it.

      • Persistent Demme

        NYC has hated him for years, and now it’s worse.
        I wonder where he will feel is a “safe” place.
        Mar-a-Lago?

        • theblackdog

          Facebook?

        • Dudleydidwrong

          Three cheers for sea level rise in Florida!!

    • Villago Delenda Est

      My mind reels with replies that taunt the Commenting Rules for Radicals.

    • Ωbjectifier

      Don’t tease me!

    • Jennifer R

      Hope he jumps.

    • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

      He’s also sad that the media attacked him for shamelessly ripping off his childrens cancer charity raising money for “dying children”.

    • Daniel

      To be fair he didn’t say Trump was suicidal. He said he probably would be if he ever listened to criticism, so that’s why he doesn’t.

      • Permit-holder Ron

        So we just need a sound truck with DC plates.

    • Jonny On Maui

      You know what that means. Time to double down on the mean things.

      “Everyone with a conscience hates you Donnie. Here’s your plate of worms.”

    • Persistent Demme

      So?
      –Darth Cheney

    • Permit-holder Ron

      C’mon, people, let’s step it up!

      Yeah, I went there.

    • Snopes Shop

      Awesome!

  • OT: Is the WH budget some sort of joke? How are they going to get some of those negative costs, does this mean that the department is going to pay the govt or something?

    https://www.whitehouse.gov/sites/whitehouse.gov/files/omb/budget/fy2018/msar.pdf

    • Joe Beese
    • Love the title too: Major savings and reforms… more like let’s kill everyone off.

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        That wall ain’t gonna build itself!

    • Skwerl the Nazi Puncher

      Well since the first thing I saw was elimination of support for all libraries and museums…

      It’s legit.

      • Three Finger Salute

        Well, one of his minions did say he was going to declare war on local book people. Dammit, there goes probably the only sector I’d be able to get a job in anywhere. Especially since eventually Amazon will buy up Barnes & Noble, staff the whole place with robots, and sell junk rather than books, because Americans don’t read and books operate at a loss.

    • Homeland Security
      Flood Hazard Mapping and Risk Analysis Program: 2017/$190 million ……… 2018/–$190 million.

      That’s right, ZERO funding for the Flood Hazard Mapping and Risk Analysis Program

      Timing is everything donnie.

    • The meaning of “Major Savings and Reforms”

      The government pays trump through the rental, lease, and use of trump owned properties and only uses trump branded products and services.

      trump raises record funds for hurricane victims through his charities.

      trump then loans the government the funding necessary to carry out its obligations in the skeleton budget.

      trump forecloses on the government because it can’t meet the monthly payments and he takes over ownership of the National Park’s and military bases.

      and on, and on,

    • Three Finger Salute

      No, they’re just going to let the people affected by the cuts suffer and die.

      While stuffing private prisons with them if they go bonkers from desperation.

    • Rags

      Well, this is the end of the Federal government.

  • bbayliss

    Whatever happened to invisible ink?

    • Daniel

      Every man his own stylus!

      • Permit-holder Ron

        What about those of us who haven’t yet even mastered writing our names in the snow?

  • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

    Florence, a big ass asteroid will make a close pass by Earth tomorrow.
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/8236232ac15a6c178497343c4fc230df01963b0ce4a8a2017c87cf1e2787b7b0.jpg

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Florence, we could use your input!

    • Marla

      Florence is also the place of the Supermax prison in Colorado where Trump may be spending a lot of his upcoming days.

      It’s a sign from the heavens.

    • whitroth

      Florence? My thumb’s up in the air! Give me a lift, PLEASE?!

  • Jennifer R
    • Antonin Dvorak

      Points for honesty?

    • WotsAllThisThen

      Well that’s certainly a relief for 72% of us!

    • OrG

      Oops.

    • Fartknocker
      • Notreelyhelping

        Chief Mike Register? Seriously?

        • Three Finger Salute

          Mike “Show Us Your Papers and” Register

      • Msgr_MΩment

        I wish him well in his life’s work.

      • If you have a racist cop….now is the time now is the time for his ass to be fired

    • Persistent Demme

      Any chance he was being sarcastic?
      (Sounded to me like he was being snarky.)

      • Vincent Ricola

        I think you maybe right about the sarcasm, but mama is that a bad idea joke for a traffic cop.

        • whitroth

          I thought all law enforcement officers had their sense of humor surgically removed, and have to check it when they punch in for their shift….

          • BeachBum

            They have one, but true, not on duty.

      • jowgajen

        I think it was snark. And not really awesome for the department to fire him after 28 years over it. But then he’s a Lieutenant (!) and supposed to be a lot more politic and mature and whatnot by now.

        • Covfefe

          They way this works is he resigns before he’s disciplined and they get him a job at another department, at a discrete distance from this incident, and he tells the other department he’s learned his lesson.

      • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

        I don’t expect a lot of love for this but I worked with emergency people for a few years and was briefly married to a cop back when dinosaurs roamed the earth.
        They see the worst and even with the sensitive ones their humor is the worst, and it was probably meant to be ironic and self deprecating. But, and here’s a big but, it was dumb, and he had no business talking to a civilian that way.

        • My brother’s a cop. And a conservative. And to be honest, a tiny bit racist these days.
          He has never mentioned where I can hear him anyway how he only shoots black people.

          • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

            It was dumb. And as somebody mentioned above, a guy with 28 years should’ve had better judgement.

        • Blackest Noobs

          well there’s a difference between a professional and an amatuer…a LT in the police dept should be the professional all the fucking time…always…and SHOULD KNOW BETTER.

          • puredog

            Agreed. But it was clearly clumsy snark, and he should receive an administrative sanction. Period.

      • Kooolest G

        I think he was being sarcastic, but he should be fired anyway. if I’m not allowed to make a joke about a bomb in the security line at the airport, cops aren’t allowed to joke about shooting people when they pull me over

    • aaannnnnddd scene.

  • writersbloc

    I don’t understand how they KNOW Hilary has 33k deleted emails but these donkeys keep having love letters handed over to Mueller… Do republicans need delete lessons?

    • Ωbjectifier

      Reply To All is a bitch!

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        “Please remove me from the group email”

        –clicks reply all–

    • I thought robotic hive-minded heartless monsters were well versed in the concept of DELETE DELETE DELETE..

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CniafOgpiW8

      • whitroth

        Yeah, but don’tcha know how the phone services back EVERYTHING up for you, in case of problems? And so you can access it anywhere?

        And that there are multiple generations of backups? (Last night, and the night before, and how many weeks worth?

    • Crystalclear12

      Nixon would be so ashamed.

      • Permit-holder Ron

        Ashamed? He’d be [redacted].

  • Ωbjectifier

    Sanctions? I think Putie has much more in mind than just the pesky sanctions.

    • Permit-holder Ron

      Lifting the sanctions is step one, on a VERY long staircase.

      • BackDoorMan

        … or a very long escalator, going down.

  • Skwerl the Nazi Puncher

    Speaking of Killary Klinton… Our new Title IX enforcer sounds nice…

    http://www.chronicle.com/blogs/ticker/civil-rights-official-lists-attacking-hillary-clinton-on-resume/119917

    Under the section “My Top 5 Qualifications for an Administrative Position,” Ms. Jackson listed her work for President Trump in the 2016 election, including attending the second presidential debate with “Clinton accusers,” or women who had accused former President Bill Clinton of rape. She also listed creating ads and videos that attacked Mrs. Clinton for alleged corruption and “hypocritical claim to defend women and children.”

    Ms. Jackson has been a key voice for Betsy DeVos, the U.S. education secretary, in the preliminary stages of crafting policy for how colleges handle sexual-assault cases under Title IX, the federal gender-equity law.

    • WotsAllThisThen

      So lots of experience with MRAs on the subject of rape. She should do well in this administration.

      • Skwerl the Nazi Puncher

        It also appears she only sees valid rape accusations when political opponents are involved.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      She seems bless her heart.

    • She really had a resume that had a title that said “My top 5 qualifications?”
      Huh.

      • therblig

        at least it didn’t say “My Top 5 Positions”

        • BeachBum

          My guess is that she only has one.

  • Villago Delenda Est

    May I just say that Evan has the Terri Hatchness of this down pat.

    Pretty fly for a gay guy.

  • whitroth

    Dan Rather said, yesterday (or Tues?) on a tv news show, that Trump’s terrified of what they’ll find.

    Yup. I suspect Trump may *finally* think he’s seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. Um, as we used to say during ‘Nam, he is… except it’s the headlight of an oncoming locomotive.

    • puredog

      While I enjoy Dan’s imaginings, he was unhinged some years ago. . . (“Kenneth? Kenneth?”)

  • Is this one of those MEAN THINGS that Eric says make daddy sad?

  • MynameisBlarney
    • Pilotshark

      short, sweet to the point, the upside down flag is a nice touch.

  • Covfefe

    Russia may not be the 51 st state but The USAmerica — Donald signed the secret order January 23 ,2017, and Volodya countersigned it th next day — is the 23rd Semi-Autonomous Republic of the Russian Federation.

    • whitroth

      Comrade! It’s time to Party!

      • LesBontemps
        • therblig

          soviet so be it!

        • whitroth

          Thank you, thank you, always liked that (though Joe can GO).

          There *is* a DSA, though, and unlike almost any other socialist organization I’ve seen in decades, they’ve got people running for *local* office – I’ve got one running for county council. And I’m still mulling the House, and if I do… well, least best case is one or more talking heads on Faux News dying, on the air, from apoplexy….

      • Permit-holder Ron

        No wonder they called it the One Party State!

      • puredog

        Yes, we’re going to a Party party. . . .

    • Résistance Land Shark Ω

      Been away so long I hardly knew the place
      Gee it’s good to be back home
      Leave it till tomorrow to unpack my case
      Honey disconnect the phone
      I’m back in the U.S.S.R.
      You don’t know how lucky you are boy
      Back in the U.S.
      Back in the U.S.
      Back in the U.S.S.R.!

  • Marla

    ‘The references, which have not been previously disclosed, elevated the significance of the June 2016 meeting for congressional investigators, who are focused on determining whether it included any discussion of donations from Russian sources to either the Trump campaign or the Republican Party.’

    If true, that alone is grounds for treason, is it not?

    • No, collusion. We are not at war with the Russians.
      If we find they also accepted pressies from ISIS in exchange for things, then it would be treason

      • Marla

        You don’t have to be at war for this to be treason.

        • Pretty sure you do, according to the constitution. Shiva explained it one day, but pretty sure you haz to be at war or something something enemy country for treason to apply.

          • Daniel

            Genuine question: what about cyberwarfare?

          • Permit-holder Ron

            Just my thought – it really does seem like they have been committing ‘warlike acts’ not just on the US but on countries around the world.

        • shivaskeeper

          You do though have to be at war or have a declared enemy. An adversary is not enough.

          As has been stated Treason is very narrowly defined and incredibly hard to prove. All for very good reasons.

          This could still fall under collusion, possibly espionage, and should also run afoul of IDK how many federal election laws. None of which are to be brushed off lightly.

      • Covfefe

        Article III, Section 3:

        “Treason against the United States, shall consist only in levying War against them, or in adhering to their Enemies, giving them Aid and Comfort. … “. At common law, the offense of treason included conspiring to kill the King or violating the queen.

        In Ex Parte Bollman,8 U.S. 75 (1807), the Supreme Court ruled that “there must be an actual assembling of men, for the treasonable purpose, to constitute a levying of war.”

        • Persistent Tennessee Rain

          But, if Russia’s cyber attack is determined to be an act of war then they would qualify as an “enemy,” and a case could be made for treason.

          • Rags

            a bit ex post facto, unfortunately

          • shivaskeeper

            It won’t be declared an act of war. If it is, that means we go to war with Russia. There is no way anyone, in the government or as a private citizen, will allow another country to commit an act of war against the US and not push for a declared war.

            Declaring an act of war for purely domestic political purposes would be ill advised at best.

        • Covfefe

          OT but this is too good to pass up. In Canada today, of you so much as suggest violating the queen, you’re going to jail. We know this because an assistant prosecutor from Detroit once was allowed to go on a joint, cross-border drug raid, at which he said “Have sex with the Queen. If you don’t post someone on the back door, there isn’t going to be anyone left in that house by the time you’re done reading your precious riot act, ” or words to that affect.

        • Covfefe

          The Constitutional definition of treason is narrower than the common law. At common law, treason included conspiring to kill the King or to violate the Queen.

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      The constitution defines treason very narrowly and for a good reason. Our forefathers remembered a time in Merrie Olde England when simply ” imagining the death of the king” could get you an ugly execution.

  • WeaselPoo

    Per Raw Story it seems Trumps lawyers are formally claiming Comey is a “unreliable witness” and makes shit up? Sounds like the obstruction of justice investigation may be progressing.

    • sosuume

      You gotta problem if your defense is: The Director of the FBI is an unreliable witness.

    • SpideySenser

      You mean that tall guy who takes copious notes? MmmK.

      • nick kelly

        And who held ongoing meetings about Trump pressure with up to six people present including the FBI #2, the FBI legal counsel etc.
        And who asked Sessions not to leave him alone with Trump.
        Lot of supporting witnesses.

  • President in Exile Firefly

    To be fair, the words “Wonkette” and “donations” also appear in close proximity.

    • whitroth

      What, comrade, are you implying? That Wonkette is some rewolutionary organization, that survives on *donations*, rather than being owned by honest corporations?

    • Permit-holder Ron

      Hang on, Paul Manafort was donating to Wonkette?

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      Yes, but it’s well known that we are in collusion with the lolcats.

      • President in Exile Firefly

        And Ponies.

  • george lastrapes

    Has Manafort had his ‘come-to-Jesus moment’, or is it yet to come? He should not go anywhere near to an upper-story window, though. Ever.

    • Or anyone named Ivan offering him a drink

    • Persistent Tennessee Rain

      Why? Will Hillary try to off him, too?

    • Thiazin Red

      Or eat food made by someone else.

    • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

      Ah yes, I believe that practice is called involuntary defenestration.

    • BeachBum

      “Boris ! Natasha ! What the fukzinckys is up with Pauli ? Enough ! Make it look like accident!”

    • NellCote71

      But he could try this summer’s cool drink, a Moscow Polonium Mule. Served in a copper cup, of course.

  • Three Finger Salute

    Semi-OT: Speaking of Russia (when aren’t we speaking of Russia?), the Houston Chronicle editorial board has published a scathing indictment against chemical company Arkema for putting profits over people and creating the American version of Chernobyl.

    Harvey reveals corporate hubris regarding safety

    Corporate Deregulation: Better Dying Through Chemistry. #ThanksReagan

    • That popping sound you hear is FREEDUMZ!!!!

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      If they really believe freedumb and deregulation are so important, why aren’t the chemical plants in River Oaks? The well to do should take one for the team.

    • Kooolest G

      it’s not the corporation’s job to keep the chemical plant safe, their job is to make money, it’s the government’s job to regulate the chemical plants to keep us safe. so until the houston chronicle endorses a governor who wants to do that, they can take their high horse and fuck themselves with it

    • Quarterly_gules_et_or

      Bhopal would be more accurate. Three Mile Island is to Chernobyl as Crosby is to Bhopal.

    • BeachBum

      I did not know freedom contained so much organic peroxides.

      • cheetojeebus

        yes yes, but is it non GMO?

  • Permit-holder Ron

    Srsly, why are these dumb fuckers not already en route to NoExtraditionStan? Are they really stupid enough to think they’re gonna WALK?

    • Pinkham’s Law

      Two words: Presidential Pardon.

    • shivaskeeper

      Have any of them, in particular the Trump clan, been held accountable for anything ever?

      That’s why they won’t run or think there will be consequences. Pure unthinking arrogance since they have never been accountable before.

      • Cat Cafe of the Subpoenas

        Also, utter venal stupidity and self-serving bullshit

      • Permit-holder Ron

        Imagine their surprise!

  • theblackdog

    Trump Jr. has the look like he found out he won’t be going to Club Fed, but one of the other Fed prisons.

    • cafiene

      Hopefully a for-profit one.

    • Doug Langley

      Quick! Turn Mar-A-Lago into a federal prison. It’s so crazy, it just might work.

    • Ωbjectifier

      There’s a perfectly cromulent Office Space joke to be made here but, alas, the Rulez don’t allow it.

  • Covfefe

    Now WaPo sez that the Hon. David Clarke, sheriff of the county of Milwaukee, has done resigned. MTK.

    Ex Parte Bollman, 8 U.S. 75 (1807), the Supreme Court ruled that “there must be an actual

    • Beanz&Berryz

      Why’d he go and do that?

    • Persistent Tennessee Rain

      In disgrace…please, oh please, let it be in disgrace.
      *fingers crossed*

    • Rags

      might be part of it:

      “A lengthy inquest into the dehydration death of a Milwaukee County Jail inmate earlier this year raised troubling questions about how Clarke managed the jail — just as the White House was said to be considering him. Despite that investigation, Clarke remained popular with many conservatives.” Mpls Star/Trib

  • Pinkham’s Law
  • Covfefe

    OT but this is too good to pass up. In Canada today, you suggest violating the queen, you’re gong to jail. We know this because an assistant prosecutor from Detroit once was allowed to go on a cross border drug raid, at which he said, Have sex with the Queen, if you don’t post someone at the back door there won’t be anyone left by the time you’re done reading your precious riot act, or words to that affect.

  • cowboyally

    RNC could also stand for Republican National Convention, as in the committee that drafted the platform that Trump’s goons got changed to be weaker on Ukraine

    • WeaselPoo

      No no, its obviously an abbreviatian for Rubles ‘N. Clinton!!!!

      • WotsAllThisThen

        It stands for Comet Ping Pong. And don’t tell me the letters don’t match, I don’t buy into your elitist spelling rules, I don’t trust anything that comes out of a liberal university.

  • Duke

    Do those fun British bookies have odds on which co-conspirator will turn states evidence first?

    My money is on Flynn.

    • TundraGrifter

      Gen. Flynn is low-hanging fruit, but I don’t think he knows enough to be the most attractive candidate. Manafort remains The Big Cheese. But, as pointed out here before, he risks his life if he flips. Felix Sater is the dark horse. He knows a great deal and if Manafort stands firm, he’s the most likely to start singing.

      There’s no point in being the second guy willing to take the fall. That’s a nasty spot to be in. Meanwhile, the first guy also gets Federal protection, a very important thing as the folks in the East aren’t going to like it when people start cracking.

  • sosuume
    • Doug Langley

      I’m no legal eagle, but I’m pretty sure a bunch of memos pleading “really our client didn’t do anything” isn’t exactly solid evidence.

  • blaid droog

    These dumb fuckers are only screwed if the dumb fuck dems don’t fuck up the next election as they most likely will.

  • BMW
    • SDGeoff3

      Yes. I like that a lot.

    • ExpatGirl

      Did the MSM have franchise rights? Cause I remember them selling a whole lot of those burgers.

    • tehbaddr

      One of those is missing the Freedum Fries on the side!

  • WotsAllThisThen

    Republican Congressional committee finds a “Collude with Russia” reminder on Trump’s calendar, says it could mean anything, promises to re-investigate Hillary’s emails.

  • Me not sure

    When the President gets taken away by men in an unmarked van, will there be an “Amber Alert” on my phone?

    • Jon Sussex

      More of an orange really.

      • Me not sure

        Ahhhh… subtle, but appropriate.

    • CripesAmighty

      Unmarked, hell. I wanna see a motorcade of flashing lights and Suburbans emblazoned, ‘US Marshals’ and ‘FBI’ that’ll make Dump’s ‘presidential’ parades look like the funeral for Elmer, The Guy With The Cardboard Sign.

      • Rags

        And hundreds of thousands of us lining the route

  • IdiokraticCulturalMarxist
  • ExpatGirl

    I started writing to various news orgs asking/begging them to at least raise the question of whether or not the Trump camp was soliciting/accepting donations from Russia the moment news broke about them soliciting every other country in the world. Crickets.

    HRC emails. HRC Goldman Sachs. Clinton Foundation (which, by the way, saves and improves millions of lives globally). They were happy to question those things till the cows came home. Uttering a single peep about where the Trump campaign was getting its money? Not so much.

  • eric lundy

    everyone knows that Russia/dnc hack has been debunked right?

    • shivaskeeper

      Show your work. Citations please.

      • eric lundy

        https://www.thenation.com/article/a-new-report-raises-big-questions-about-last-years-dnc-hack/

        there is still no evidence of any hacking, and if there was, there would be indictments, but there are none, and none forthcoming.

        • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

          I’ll wait until the end of Muellers investigation. He was charged with looking at Russian interference and the role of the Trump campaign in regards to said interference. If he finds that no hacking occurred on the part of the Russians, I’m inclined to believe him.
          Right now, it doesn’t look like he’s exactly ready to pack it up and go home.

          • Zippy W Pinhead

            All those IT agencies got it wrong. Thank goodness some anonymous guy named the “Forensicator” came along to set us all straight..
            ROFL The Nation, AKA Bernie Bro Central™ has decreed that everything we’ve seen or heard is FAKE NEWS® and only they are the keepers of the sacred flame of truth. Good Lord, these are the left wing nutjobs that are the mirror image of Alex Jones

          • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

            Because Mueller can’t call on forensic specialists, and must rely on the advice of random white hat hackers.

          • shivaskeeper

            That’s kind of my point. Hacking became shorthand for all the outside and inside interference. It was and is still used incorrectly for what actually happened.

          • eric lundy

            indeed! we shall see what is real and what is fake news in time. right now, given just the word of people in power to get the pitchforks and run Russia out of town, I like to be a skeptic when it comes to WW3. Saber rattling gets us nowhere. Once any evidence at all in either direction is revealed to the public I’m on board as long as it can be verified by a neutral party. until then, everyone is spewing propaganda.

        • shivaskeeper

          How about an unbiased source? FFS, you may as well cite Breitbart.

          • eric lundy

            ? the nation is a “left wing” publication right?

          • shivaskeeper

            I said unbiased.

          • eric lundy

            they are all biased

          • shivaskeeper

            So you posted a source you knew was biased as a citation for your grand unproven claim?

            Argument in bad faith. We’re done here.

          • eric lundy

            sigh, the idea is that this article flies in the face of both the left and the right narrative. Making the article all the more compelling. His argument aside, the media response was telling enough.

        • Zippy W Pinhead

          JET FUEL CAN’T MELT STEEL BEAMS!!1!1!1!

          • The flag was moving! It couldn’t do that on an airless Moon!!!!1!

          • Zippy W Pinhead

            That’s no moon…

          • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

            METALDATA CAN’T GO 22.7 MEGABYTERS PER SECOND!!!1

            The gobbledeedook in that Nation sharticle is off the charts.

            “What has Forensicator proven since he turned his key? How? What has work done atop Forensicator’s findings proven? How?”

            (Don’t expect an answer, by the way)

          • eric lundy

            don’t spread your conspiracy theories around here!

        • Duxburian

          Oh and here I was figuring you were being sarcastic, but instread you’re just being dumb.

          • eric lundy

            we shall see who is dumb in time. I believe that it was a leak and not a hack. Until anyone can prove otherwise, you are a dupe.

        • thewendyb

          Lololololololo!o!o!o!ollolololo!lol
          And HA.

        • thewendyb

          Boy are you stoopid.

        • Serai 1
    • Ешьте дерьмо и умрите

      • eric lundy

        why would you say such nasty things? If I didn’t put that into google translate, I wouldn’t have known what a big Ahole you are. You must still be on correct the record payroll.

      • SDGeoff3

        That’s easy for you to say.

        • A year of Russian classes in college helped, and working with a few Russian scientists taught me some of their favorite insults.

          • Alan

            I got one C in college. 3rd semester Russian. Should have taken French or Spanish.

          • Interestingly enough, I had to drop French or fail it. The prof. (who had a Brooklyn accent) hated my southern accent and so I failed every oral exercise in the class although I did okay in the written work. So I wound up in Russian instead and found it much easier.

          • SDGeoff3

            Nice!

    • Cat Cafe of the Subpoenas
      • SDGeoff3

        Thanks. And done.

      • eric lundy

        your argument has no substance.

    • Serai 1
  • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

    So now we know what that (R) really stands for. McConnell (R-Russia) voted to….it applies to all of the fuckers.

  • tehbaddr

    / Proper English accent

    And now we take a quick break from our usual schedule of hoofwanking bunglecuntery to show you………………..
    an Hippopotamus!
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/90182a9dd6e264be6fff360a6a903136bb12cde3255e8fdf4d76e772acbe0d05.jpg

    • BeachBum

      I say, excellent, however the luv’ly lass seems to have forgotten her knickers !

      • Cat Cafe of the Subpoenas

        Spot on! I dare not comment on what seems to be going on with the hippo’s rear regions.

        • tehbaddr

          Enflamed…. the lack of knickers!

          • puredog

            Vargas-esque tanlines, though.

          • george lastrapes

            Or- the knack of lickers?

        • SDGeoff3

          Nasty parts all engorged and tinglin’.

          • tehbaddr

            I think the proper terminology is: a tingling!

          • SDGeoff3

            Hmmm…ok. Well, you vibrate your way and I’ll do it my way. Let’s meet in the middle and go for “a-tinglin”.

        • thewendyb

          Indeed.

      • george lastrapes

        Could turn out badly, as we know—

        There was a young lady from Niger,
        Who smiled as she rode on a tiger.
        They returned from the ride
        With the lady inside
        And the smile on the face of the tiger.

    • SnarkON

      Can’t decide if I think this is cute or offensive.

      • george lastrapes

        Offensively cute!

      • tehbaddr

        Oh. C’mon! Has your sense of fun and sexuality died?

        • SnarkON

          Yes. Trump killed it.

      • SDGeoff3

        Why, it is stunning.

      • Me not sure

        If the hippo is OK with it, who am I to complain?

    • george lastrapes

      A nippopotamus?

      • SDGeoff3

        That’s what tehbaddr said.

    • bbayliss
      • tehbaddr

        Hey! That’s not what’s going on here!

      • tehbaddr

        ZOMG!!!11!111!!1! These things are not nearly the same!11!111!!!1!1!!!

      • george lastrapes

        That’s Alphamale Crybaby (Chris Cantwell) being hit on by a horny antifa girl hippo.

  • Robert Gibson

    They updated the NBC story. Now it’s “Donor” not “Donations”

  • Electric Ukulele Land

    This does not seem like the most efficient way to take notes. Not only did they openly collude, but they’re desperately inefficient.

  • Jenny

    Sure we want him to win but the RNC is against ust!!

    Do not worry we will make our bots make many donations for Donald. Suddenly he is biggest fundraiser. Da? They know they have their winner.

  • george lastrapes

    Could it be that since Putain did not get the desired results out of Strumpet, he’s saying the hell with it and is now letting the pot stir itself, US co-conspirators twisting slowly etc? Maybe even orchestrating leaks? He can now point at the mess as an object-lesson in how democracy can go wrong.

    • AJ Milne

      In fact, denigrating democracy in general was probably _always_ pretty up there as a goal.

      Putin’s concerns, outside not having funds he’s got outside Russian frozen, are domestic politics, and he’s got local opposition would like their democracy to be more than token. Being able to say, oh, it’s always a charade, always a shitshow, this works for him. And then add reducing US influence internationally, it’s win-win. He’d probably _like_ to have sanctions lifted, as a high priority, too. But he’ll take those other two happily enough.

      • 🐶 BRAINTHRUST 5000 🐶

        He was also scared of/hates Hillary, because Bill kicked him around a bit (politically) back in the day.

      • george lastrapes

        Is Putain safe as alpha-klepto-thug? There are many kleptocrats hamstrung by sanctions; they were counting on Putain restore the status quo ante regarding money-laundering and safe investments. He may be more nervous than Strumpet.

        • AJ Milne

          I expect. For what it’s worth.

          He essentially muscled into the operations of _all_ the major oligarchs by force, using his security services and a somewhat (cough very) loose definition of judicial independence. Showed them, listen, I can put anyone in jail, get the courts to make any charge I like stick, take anything I want, so cut me on in this or you’re next.

          So: they _may_ respect him. They _do_ fear him. Doubt _anyone_ much likes him, not that that’s ever much the point with men who think that way anyway.

          … so I figure he’s in the same position of every mob chief ever: a long, peaceful retirement is very difficult to guarantee. Greatly exacerbated right now by sanctions, still lowish oil prices, and a general economic malaise. Houston flooding is probably the only good news he’s had since Trump won.

          And sure, people figure he’s ruthless. He is…

          But he’s also, I figure, very motivated.

  • AJ Milne

    ‘… The gist is that Donald “Unfuckable Face” Trump Junior…’

    Sometimes, in surveying this thing, I can’t help but amuse myself at code names might be used for various players, at various agencies…

    Somewhere, in wires and reports, I figure there must be stuff like:

    ‘PLAID STUMP was found to be receptive to the offer. Suspect same handler as for UKRAINE MONEYPIT… Unclear if ORANGE TOURETTES directly briefed…’

  • bookish

    https://www.wsj.com/articles/trump-attorneys-lay-out-arguments-against-obstruction-of-justice-probe-to-mueller-1504207495?utm_source=nl-politics-daily-083117&silverid=MzYzNzMxNTQ1MzM4S0

    WASHINGTON—Lawyers for Donald Trump have met several times with special counsel Robert Mueller in recent months and submitted memos arguing that the president didn’t obstruct justice by firing former FBI chief James Comey and calling into question Mr. Comey’s reliability as a potential witness, people familiar with the matter said.

  • ANNG14

    Illegal meeting, to do illegal things, take notes. Great idea! Robert Mueller and honest Americans thank you!

    • Serai 1

      These fuckers are such IDIOTS. And I thank the gods, because that’s what’s bringing them crashing down.

  • Skadi
    • WideStance

      Perfect.

  • NotDarkYet

    One of the legal analysts on MSNC called Man-a-fort a “wounded antelope” — oh, Mr. Mueller, what nice sharp teeth you got!

  • norcalOG

    Rep. Boris Badenov, R-Moscow, was incredulous when informed of this development. “Who knew this guy knows how to use phone?” Badenov screamed. “We wrong. He not as dumb as Junior.”

  • Jennifer R
    • 🐶 BRAINTHRUST 5000 🐶

      only semi-related but is your wifi network really named WuTangLAN

      because that is good

      • 🐶 BRAINTHRUST 5000 🐶

        (it is visible in one of your tweets, I ain’t stalking you probably)

      • Jennifer R

        No. I will spare you the awful furry pun that is my wifi network name.

  • OneYieldRegular

    Has Trump pardoned him yet?

  • William
    • Serai 1

      I predict this will not stay up long.

      • Lynn A Myers

        I like it!

        • Persistent Tennessee Rain

          Yeah. Rape jokes are always hilarious

          • Lynn A Myers

            There is no rape joke there at all in my view. Being gay and from Tennessee, maybe I just have a different perspective. I acknowledge your different perspective.

  • weighmaster

    OT, I moneyed the wonkette, it’s much better than gnarfling the garflak!

    • LeighBowery’sLuxuryComedy

      Me tooo, I signed up for a monthly pittance! One Euro, straight out of my account, I don’t even know about it ;-)

  • WideStance
    • RMKH

      That seems rather bombshellish

      • george lastrapes

        Hellishly bombshellish, and bombshellishly badsmellish.

  • Moar Wordz

    They are screwed, & it’s time for Hillary to take her rightful place. Impeach the fucker, and oust the whole corrupt admin. Make an unprecedented, historic recasting of the ballot. Pence or Hillary ?! They BOUGHT themselves an election by way of illegal activities.

    • shivaskeeper

      There will not be a new election unless to Constitution is changed. The mechanism we have in place in the line of succession. It will be followed with one exception. Eileen Chao is removed from the line if it ever gets that far down as she is was granted citizenship and is not a natural born citizen.

      • Moar Wordz

        Then we must ratify the Constitution

  • george lastrapes

    So now that Putain’s anti-sanctions strategy has failed, are the Russian klepto-sharks circling? Lot of unhappy billionaires. Putain may be as worried as Strumpet. I daresay impeachment Russian style would be quicker, less formal, and— wetter?

    • Now there is a fun idea

    • shivaskeeper

      I don’t think he really cares. Two Scoops winning was, I think, an unforeseen outcome. Unforeseen, but welcome as far as it goes.

      Always keep in mind the real outcome was and is a destabilized, ineffective, unsure, and weakened US on the world stage. Putin wants to reestablish the old Soviet Union as far as all the territory they used to have. He would love to reabsorb all the breakaway satellite states. He would love to love to reestablish the military and geopolitical might Russia used to have. He would also make a shit ton of money while exploiting all those newly reabsorbed states.

      The only real counter to than is a stable and decisive US.

      I think the original plan was just to delegitimize Hillz from the start. To
      have her so hated by half the nation that nothing she could say or do
      would be helpful. That the reflexive hate of Obama would be turned up to
      11. That she would spend all her time in hearing after hearing in
      front of the Congress instead of being able to pass any legislation or
      be the leader she should have been. In other words, gridlock that would
      make the Obama years seem like they were productive.

      When it looked like Two Scoops could actually win, the plan changed as far as how it could be done, but the outcome is still a weakened, unstable US that is not able to effectively counter Russian geopolitical fuckery.

      • george lastrapes

        How unforeseen was it really? A few thousand votes in four states, flipped by world-class hackers- hardly Mission Impossible. How probable, I have not a clue.

        • shivaskeeper

          Early on I think him winning was not even to be considered. By rights he should have imploded his presidential run several times over. Ideally he should have taken several of the million or so other contenders outwith him and given Hillz a clear shot to win and be rendered ineffective on day one.

          I think the plan probably started to change around the 2nd GOP debate. IIRC that was when the trolls, bots, and other various disinformation merchants went into overdrive.

        • shivaskeeper

          2nd reply.

          Expectations for who won’t be met? The GOP base? Russia and Putin won’t care. If that raises the anger level even more in this country, we will be further destabilized. Nothing that happens here will be bad from Russia’s point of view. Unless Two Scoops start launching nukes. But the more untrusted and marginalized we are, the better for them.

          • george lastrapes

            But how important to the oligarchs is a safe, reliable, honest, non-Russian banking system? To coin a phrase, there is no honor among kleptocrats. And Putin, the alphaklept, is both protector and a threat to them all. The sanctions deny them safe havens overseas. Trump’s win gave them hope that the sanctions would end.
            Banking in the USA while destabilizing it: could that backfire on Putin, or has it?

          • shivaskeeper

            If the US economy tanks, the world’s economy tanks. I think Putin’s main goal as far as screwing with the economy would be to get oil up around $60/barrel. That is the price that would make the Russian oil more viable as a money making commodity.

            As for the American banks, the kepltocrats park all their money overseas already. The banking in the Cayman Islands or with the Swiss, etc… isn’t Russian controlled and will not be Russian controlled.

            Those are guesses on my part. Speculation only as international finance is not one of the areas I have any real knowledge.

            Destabilization was the original and still overarching goal. The plan on how to do it changed when it looked like Two Scoops had a chance to win. Getting the sanctions lifted now would be a bonus to the overall plan.

          • george lastrapes

            Destabilize the US too much, destabilize Russia as well. MAD via finance. That must have occurred to Putin. Miscalculation?
            I wonder also: did Putin overestimate Trump’s power? The new sanctions seem to have come as an unpleasant surprise to him (Putin). Well, to both.

          • shivaskeeper

            I don’t think anyone is going to deliberately tank the economy. They might do it accidentally through short sighted greed, but probably not on purpose.

            Honestly I don;t know if there was an overestimation or this is all part of a well thought out plan, or this is just off the rails at this point. I just don’t know.

          • george lastrapes

            I have vivid memories of the Cuban balance of power.missile crisis, and of Khrushchev’s abrupt fall a year-and-a-half later. Conventional wisdom then was that the one made the other inevitable. The collective leadership valued predictability in east-west relations, and Nikita’s risk-taking was intolerable to them.

          • SqueakyRat

            + for alphaklept

  • Jeff Mc Donald

    You expect us to believe that someone named Trump would sell out for money? Is that likely? Then it’s like we’re supposed to believe that the RNC might be for sale to the highest bidder? Well, OK…now that I think about it…

    • CafeenMan

      I know… I think it’s all just a big misunderstanding. TrumpCO was reminding Putin how Little Hands bankrupted the Soviet Union back in the 80’s and that he better not mess around or he’ll go over there again to beat up Putin and his horse.

    • SqueakyRat

      I’m never going to be a servant of Wall Street, because I’m fully funded by the Russians!

  • OrdinaryJoe

    Are we supposed to believe that Mike Pence was totally out of the loop on the Russian things?

    • CafeenMan

      Honestly, I think he was told and was smart enough to not get involved personally. But I think he knew more or less what was going on and didn’t do anything about it. But I have no idea so I’m just guessing.

      • HooverVilles

        I think your guess is probably a very good guess. He and his dominionist pals want him as POTUS if/when Trump is gone.

      • B. Barr

        If Pence knew and didn’t tell – that makes him complicit.
        He’s going down too.

      • Petunia Cat

        I used to think that. Now I think he must be more deeply involved than that. Just because Trump would constantly be eliciting his involvement. And tell him all the bad shit that he’s doing. Because Trump is the biggest cliché teen girl blabbermouth in the history of government. 😩

    • TundraGrifter

      The Eddie Haskell of the Trump Administration.

      • arealbaby

        You mean Munster?

        • TundraGrifter

          Nope.

    • Toledo Window Box

      He ran the transition. He’s implicated.

      President Ryan???

      • ExecutorElassus

        haha, nope. The RNC laundered Russian “donations” to local campaigns, Ryan signed off on Nunez trying to interfere with the Intel Committee (Or was it oversight?) investigation, he knew about Rohrbacher being a paid agent, etc etc. He’s going down with the ship.
        Next in line is Orrin Hatch, a doddering old man in the Senate who is in *no way* prepared to assume the presidency.
        Strap in, kids.

        • Toledo Window Box

          I know all about Orin, and while certainly not my first pick, he’s a far better choice than Ryan, or Pence, or certainly Trump.

          • Petunia Cat

            I agree. I keep finding myself thinking that when Schwarzenegger became governor of California I didn’t hear about him pulling giant insane fuck ups all the time. Mind you I’m in Canada. But it’s possible he hired a bunch of experts and they told him what to do and he did it. Trump can’t even manage being Fake President the way Schwarzenegger managed to be Fake Governor. Whereas I assume if Hatch finds himself in the presidency, especially on foreign-policy, he’ll just get regular mainstream experts and they’ll do normal shit. Although for all I know he could be a deranged ideologue like Ryan and Sessions. 🤞🏼

          • Toledo Window Box

            I think he’d do whatever the true leadership in that party tells him to do.

  • Molon Labe

    its just like the Bible Code man.

    toupee
    RNC
    Hitler
    flashdrive
    bandaid
    jello
    kittens
    donations
    antifa

    • Toledo Window Box

      Coincidentally, that is the exact word sequence that sets off the Winter Soldier.

  • AuntyMaude

    Do you think our typo theory makes sense? Y/N?
    Read
    more at
    https://wonkette.com/622412/breaking-manaforts-notes-from-russian-spy-meeting-are-real-and-they-are-spectacular#Yg7ekcPpySDavkiO.99

    Yes, for what it’s worth, I do think P.M was jamming his meat fingers.

  • Toledo Window Box

    While I’m glad Mr. Mueller is being deliberate, it just shocks me that some people in this country still seem to think Trump didn’t collude with Russia to steal the election. Could it possibly more clear? What are these people waiting for, video of Trump and Putin at a computer hacking into the DNC??

    • Molon Labe
    • Persistent Tennessee Rain

      It’s not shocking to me. Trump and his staff have been screaming about “fake news” for a long time now and people believe it. To them, this is the “Russia hoax” perpetrated by fake news

      • LeighBowery’sLuxuryComedy

        And I think in some way, the fact that these same people have been sucking at the teat of Faux News for so long has somehow dimly alerted them to the idea that news can be fake – just somehow, not THEIR news, because that would mean they have to *think*. So that even the video of Trump and his sugar daddy hacking in while Russian hookers pee on American flags in every corner would be dismissed.

    • John McLaughlin

      Mueller wants to carve this one into stone. Getting all the ducks in a row takes time.

  • Serai 1

    I wouldn’t use the word “spectacular” to describe the terms “RNC” and “donations”. Seems rather over-hyping the situation, if you ask me.

    • Molon Labe

      Spectacular wasn’t used to describe those terms. Spectacular was used to describe those terms. I was wrong. But wait! What if RNC was a typo? and instead originally meant something EVEN more sinister? DNC? OMG Bible Code bitches!!!

    • lurch394

      Mr. Manafort, I have met Teri Hatcher. Teri Hatcher was a friend of mine. Sir, yours may be real, but you are no Teri Hatcher.

  • Dolmance

    I could use some recreation with vacationing she-wolves, right about now.

    Just sayin’.

  • “First time I met with President Trump, we disagreed on three things in my first 40 minutes with him,” Mattis recalled, citing the relevance of NATO and torture as points of tension, along with another subject that he did not detail. “This is not a man who is immune to being persuaded if he thinks you’ve got an argument.”
    ———
    if he thinks you’ve got an argument.

  • Last Hussar

    Its Friday, well, it is here.

    I wonder whose turn it is to go and support Trump by leaving the Whitehouse and seeking ways to fight the deep state elsewhere.

  • Run2Live

    Junior gets a $100,000 speaking gig at University of North Texas.
    Here’s the coffee mug they’ll be giving him.
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/a9fba62460179f945d3c8861dfdb9a68d760ea3f52f6018e1c676e82865aed00.jpg

  • John McLaughlin

    Jr. is a puppet of his money. Papa Trump is a puppet of Putin. Pathetic puppets all around.

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