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62 years of raising hell
62 years of raising hell

Today is Molly Ivins’s birthday, and when we finally make this a more just world, it will become a national holiday. As it is, we’ll keep celebrating it right here at Wonkette and do what we can to keep alive the spirit of Texas’s greatest contribution to American humor and political commentary. She’d have been 73 today, and while we don’t believe in an afterlife, we sure understand the impulse, because it’s a goddamned shame Molly missed the last election, which would have left her whomperjawed. If someday we wake up in an Elysian field where she and Ann Richards are drinking and cutting loose with profane observations on doings back on Earth, we’ll be very happy to have been wrong.

We’re less sure about wishing she were here to help us get through the term of President Weirdhair, though. God knows we could use her, but we’re unclear on the morality of asking a soul to exchange the peace of the grave for a republic being torn apart by a man who makes Shrub Bush look statesmanlike by comparison. But she might get a kick out of it.

We are not inclined to think the universe has a proper sense of fun or fairness, given the simple fact that we lost Gilda Radner at 42 and Molly Ivins at 62, while Henry Kissinger still walks this earth at the age of 94 and has so far escaped prosecution for war crimes. And let’s all just say one more time, together, “Fuck cancer.”

There’s never a bad time to quote Molly Ivins, so let’s light some birthday candles, have some of those cakes we like, and remember a woman with a unique talent for looking at public idiocy, holding it up to the light, and blowing it to rags and atoms with a few words:

  • All anyone needs to enjoy the state legislature is a strong stomach and a complete insensitivity to the needs of the people. As long as you don’t think about what that peculiar body should be doing and what it actually is doing to the quality of life in Texas, then it’s all marvelous fun.
  • There are two kinds of humor. One kind that makes us chuckle about our foibles and our shared humanity — like what Garrison Keillor does. The other kind holds people up to public contempt and ridicule — that’s what I do. Satire is traditionally the weapon of the powerless against the powerful. I only aim at the powerful. When satire is aimed at the powerless, it is not only cruel — it’s vulgar.
  • It’s hard to argue against cynics — they always sound smarter than optimists because they have so much evidence on their side.
  • On a personal note: I have contracted an outstanding case of breast cancer, from which I intend to recover. I don’t need get-well cards, but I would like the beloved women readers to do something for me: Go. Get. The. Damn. Mammogram. Done.
  • I believe all Southern liberals come from the same starting point — race. Once you figure out they are lying to you about race, you start to question everything.
  • Naturally, when it comes to voting, we in Texas are accustomed to discerning that fine hair’s-breadth worth of difference that makes one hopeless dipstick slightly less awful than the other. But it does raise the question: Why bother?Oh, it’s just that your life is at stake.
  • I have been attacked by Rush Limbaugh on the air, an experience somewhat akin to being gummed by a newt. It doesn’t actually hurt, but it leaves you with slimy stuff on your ankle.
  • [Molly on then-President Ronald Reagan:] If he gets even more sedate, we will have to water him twice a week.
  • [On Bill Clinton, Jesse Helms, and the alleged “incivility” of the former toward the latter:] The lead on two TV networks was that he had waxed somewhat sarcastic on the subject of Sen. Jesse Helms. Anyone who can limit his reaction to Helms to mild sarcasm deserves the Nobel Peace Prize. That poisonous old hate sow, suckling all the little hate pigs — if ignorance is bliss, that man must be ecstatic (My own civility has distinct limits).
  • [On Pat Buchanan’s “culture war” speech at the 1992 GOP convention:] Many people did not care for Pat Buchanan’s speech; it probably sounded better in the original German.
  • Next time I tell you someone from Texas should not be president of the United States, please pay attention.
  • So keep fightin’ for freedom and justice, beloveds, but don’t you forget to have fun doin’ it. Lord, let your laughter ring forth. Be outrageous, ridicule the fraidy-cats, rejoice in all the oddities that freedom can produce. And when you get through kickin’ ass and celebratin’ the sheer joy of a good fight, be sure to tell those who come after how much fun it was.
  • We are the people who run this country. We are the deciders. And every single day, every single one of us needs to step outside and take some action to help stop this war. Raise hell. Think of something to make the ridiculous look ridiculous. Make our troops know we’re for them and trying to get them out of there. Hit the streets to protest Bush’s proposed surge. If you can, go to the peace march in Washington on January 27. We need people in the streets, banging pots and pans and demanding, “Stop it, now!” [from her final column]

Can you imagine what Molly would do with characters like Steve Bannon, Kellyanne Conway, Sean Spicer, or that flash in the pan Anthony Scaramucci? Molly might not have found the solution to the problem of Donald Trump, but oh, lord, would she have gotten no end of brilliant columns out of him. And maybe delirium tremens.

This week in particular, when too much of her beloved Texas is under water, we imagine she’d be equal parts moved by the straightforward decency of the boat heroes and disgusted unto hilarious mockery by a president who can talk plenty about how great his optics are, while completely forgetting to mention the people who still need rescuing. She’s not here to skewer him, so we all have the duty to point and laugh at the unclothed emperor, for Molly’s sake.

What would Molly say if she were here now? She’d tell us to roll up our sleeves, join with our neighbors, get angry, and get to work on Resisting. She’d be incredibly proud of the Women’s March. She’d remind us we’ve gotten through some damned dark awfulness before, and we have no choice but to push on through the current stupidity and the New Cruelty. She’d remind us that Americans really are better than this bunch of crooks in power. And she’d remind us to laugh, because a well-honed sense of the ridiculous is good for survival.

Our country’s suffering from a Molly Ivins deficit. Go get yourself some Molly Ivins books: We’re fond of her first big bestseller, Molly Ivins Can’t Say That, Can She? as well as the election-year warning that she co-wrote with Lou Dubose, Shrub: The Short but Happy Political Life of George W. Bush, and the posthumous collection, Molly Ivins: Letters to the Nation.

We’ll close with a favorite: Here’s the first time Yr Dok Zoom — and a lot of us outside of Texas — ever heard of Molly Ivins, her 1986 MacNeill-Lehrer Newshour piece on Texas and its many fine examples of Public Ort, which they rebroadcast as a memorial in 2007. Enjoy:

Oh also, it’s your OPEN THREAD.

Yr Wonkette is supported by you, the readers. Please click the “Donate” clicky, and we’ll keep aiming to be even slightly worthy of Molly’s example.

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  • Serai 1
    • BJW

      Perfect. I may need to watch this 1 or 2 or 2000 times.

    • Vincent Ricola

      Delightful.

    • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

      I wouldn’t get so happy so fast (that headline is kinda off):

      “Judge Susan Bolton will not throw out Joe Arpaio’s racial profiling related conviction immediately because by accepting Trump’s pardon Arpaio admitted his guilt.

      The Arizona Republic reported, “Bolton on Tuesday stopped short of throwing out the conviction based solely on Arpaio’s request. Instead she ordered Arpaio and the U.S. Department of Justice, which is prosecuting the case, to file briefs on why she should or shouldn’t grant Arpaio’s request.””

      • Serai 1

        Yes, and then they’ll have to prove that accepting the pardon isn’t an admission of guilt. Which they can’t. Thus he lost.

    • Resistance Fighter Callyson
    • Cock Blockula

      Law done well is what I love.

  • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

    nicely done Dok!

  • doktorzoom

    Hope a good helping of Molly Ivins makes up for yesterday’s bummer open thread…

    • Martini Ambassador 🍸

      Thanks for looking out for us Dok 😻

    • BJW

      Yes and no. As I stated above, I’m sad. But glad that I did live when she was around.

    • shastakoala

      Beautiful Dok.

      • doktorzoom

        you’re pretty beautiful your ownself.

  • memzilla Ω
  • Serai 1
  • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

    Open Thread…remember Reality Winner? The almost-too-perfectly-named lady that leaked some stuff to the Intercept and then almost IMMEDIATELY was arrested?

    Turns out the FBI may not have read her her miranda rights. If true, doesn’t mean the case will go away, but anything she said can’t be used. If she confessed during that time, the case just got a little harder.

    “In court papers filed late Tuesday, former contractor Reality Winner’s defense team—including the former general counsel of the U.S. Department of Homeland Security—contends that federal agents detained Winner while executing search warrants of her home and car. They claim agents interrogated her at length as the only suspect but failed to administer a Miranda warning that anything she told them might be used against her or that she had a right to counsel. The defense has asked for an evidentiary hearing on the potential Fifth Amendment violation.”
    ….
    The defense filings provide new details of the FBI’s search of 25-year-old Winner’s home and her subsequent arrest, which differ markedly from the U.S. Department of Justice’s account. In a June 5 news release, the prosecutors announced they had charged Winner with violating federal espionage laws by removing classified material from a government facility and mailing it to a news outlet.

    ccording to the DOJ, Winner “agreed to talk with agents during the execution of the warrant” and during that exchange “admitted intentionally identifying and printing the classified intelligence reporting at issue despite not having a ‘need to know,’ and with knowledge that the intelligence reporting was classified.” The DOJ also said Winner admitted “removing the classified intelligence reporting from her office space, retaining it, and mailing it from Augusta, Georgia to the news outlet, which she knew was not authorized to receive or possess the documents.” Defense attorneys said in court papers that they have been given only a redacted transcript of that interview.

    The defense said Winner’s questioning by the FBI and the circumstances under which agents did so amounted to a custodial interrogation that required a Miranda warning.

    According to the defense, agents also told Winner they thought she had “made a mistake,” that she had “a good career” and that “if she was the culprit and did it because she was angry at the current state of politics, then that idea would make law enforcement ‘feel a little better’ and that they would not ‘have a real serious problem here.'”

    http://www.dailyreportonline.com/id=1202796916564/Attorneys-FBI-Ignored-Miranda-Warning-for-Accused-Media-Leaker-Reality-Winner?mcode=0&curindex=0&curpage=1

    • theblackdog

      That seems…odd, and also sounds like the type of thing where the defense is going to throw anything at the wall to try to get it to stick.

      • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

        well, as I understand it, that’s their job. But if they failed to do it – them’s the rules.

        • theblackdog

          Yeah it is. I would just be shocked if the FBI did actually fail to inform her of her Miranda rights.

      • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

        Probably, but the line between non-custodial and custodial questioning is blurry enough that it might work. In my very early post-law days, I did a lot of freelancing for defense attorneys doing research, and Miranda seemed to be the most common thing.

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      How are they going to prove it? I’ve never met an FBI agent who admits to taking notes or recording conversations.

      • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

        oh good – somebody who knows this stuff!

        I dunno – they’re basically saying they took her to a room, she sat against the far wall and they started asking her questions while blocking the door. They’re arguing no reasonable person would have felt free to leave, i.e. it was obviously a custodial thing.

        (Thes story is kinda shitty, Daily report knows better).

        • UncleTravelingMatt

          It’s a fine argument, and one I made I made this morning, myself. Of course, I had audio recordings of the arrest and the questioning. Even then, the cops testified that they read their Miranda cards so hard . . . but their voice recorders were switched off.

          I’d say roughly half of all the people I’ve represented have claimed the cops didn’t Mirandize them. Roughly all of them were surprised to hear the voice recording of the cop very clearly advising them of their rights.

          • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

            lol, interesting.

  • GoutMachine

    If someday we wake up in an Elysian field where she and Ann Richards are drinking and cutting loose with profane observations on doings back on Earth, we’ll be very happy to have been wrong.

    You know those questions about who you’d have at your dream dinner party? This. This right here.

  • Moebym of the Returners

    I wasn’t politically aware while she was active, but I know enough to say that she certainly would have had a lot to say about out current state of affairs. And that’s probably an understatement.

  • BJW

    OKAY, Doc. Now I haz a sad that the dear, wonderful, witty Molly Ivins isn’t here to help us get through this shit. Public Ort, indeed!

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
  • proudgrampa

    God, I loved that woman.

    “Shrub.” That always cracked me up…

  • Daredevil

    Mara Wilson, the girl from Matilda and Mrs. Doubtfire, has a twitter account and she says awesome things.
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/6bca13e2e84d7a018e8bf8fd58cb86a3ddf52588f726e758fc709be7c240d018.jpg

    • theblackdog

      She also has more of a career than Kirk Cameron does these days. I love hearing her on Welcome to Nightvale.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    All anyone needs to enjoy the state legislature is a strong stomach and a complete insensitivity to the needs of the people. As long as you don’t think about what that peculiar body should be doing and what it actually is doing to the quality of life in Texas, then it’s all marvelous fun.

    Replace “the White House” and “America” for “the state legislature” and “Texas” and you’ve summarized my take on American politics 2017

    • Panika MCD

      I know I have marvelous fun, though I’ve never quite managed the complete insensitivity part–strong stomach I have in spades. also too: a really great liver.

  • Ellie

    Apologies if these are repeats. Some of my favorite Molly Ivins quotes:
    The first rule of holes: when you’re in one, stop digging.
    What you need is sustained outrage…there’s far too much unthinking respect given to authority.
    It is possible to read the history of this country as one long struggle to extend the liberties established in our Constitution to everyone in America.
    It’s like, duh. Just when you thought there wasn’t a dime’s worth of difference between the two parties, the Republicans go and prove you’re wrong.

    • Ωbjectifier

      “Poor George, he was born with a silver foot in his mouth.”

      • doktorzoom

        Ann Richards, actually. They were pals, but Ann didn’t need anyone to write laugh lines for her :)

  • Villago Delenda Est

    Molly was an American treasure, but she’d be the first one to tell you that Art Buchwald was a giant in the field of comedic political journalism.

    • Eileen Besse

      ART BUCHWALD….

    • proudgrampa

      They are both in the pantheon of great American satirists: Mark Twain, Washington Irving, Dorothy Parker, et al.

      (Second time I’ve used et al. today. Guess I’m just in a listing mood.)

      • OutOfOrbit

        was browsing some W. Irving a few weeks ago and he could be applied today, right now

        • proudgrampa

          That’s what I’m saying…

          “after a man passes 60 , his mischief is mainly in his head”

          — Washington Irving

          • OutOfOrbit

            damn you now i must read moar Irving tonight or wont sleep. shit

          • OutOfOrbit

            btw love “Salmaguni” and “The Great Mississippi Bubble” describes our last recession to a tee

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    It’s hard to argue against cynics — they always sound smarter than optimists because they have so much evidence on their side.

    True, but Rebecca Solnit gives it a good college try.

  • Picabo
  • Stranded Devonian Lungfish

    Loved Molly Ivins. Loved this essay. Thanks, Dok.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    And I’ll leave with this good thought from Wonkette alum Kaili Joy (hi Kaili!):

    https://twitter.com/KailiJoy/status/902971015051051009

  • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos
    • Villago Delenda Est

      Never mind that it’s aimed almost exclusively at the parasites of Wall Street.

    • DrBigHead

      End the estate tax.

      There, that’s the plan.

      • Serai 1

        Tax every Wall Street transaction.

        There, another plan.

  • Carpe Vagenda
  • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

    There’s video:

    Floodwaters had picked up an elderly man’s SUV and was sweeping it away.

    “My heart started beating fast,” Castillo said.

    Without pause, the couple and dozens of other drivers jumped into the water to help.

    “Somebody said, ‘Let’s form a chain.'”

    So, they did.

    Their arms linked, the drivers and passenger inched toward the SUV.

    The good Samaritans had a little difficulty getting the SUV’s door open. But they eventually did.

    And together they pulled the man to safety.
    http://www.cnn.com/2017/08/30/us/human-chain-saves-elderly-man-trnd/index.html

    • Moebym of the Returners

      A woman in labor was rescued the same way. Her neighbors managed to arrange for a truck to come out to transport her to a hospital, and then formed a chain to guide her onto the truck.

  • Picabo
    • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

      poor pup – that had to be scary.

    • II Gosala

      four, dammit, four onion ninjas

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸
    • GoutMachine

      With optional bag of pee for the hooker dolls!

      • NeoliberalBanksterCaptainHowdy

        What, Hurricane Barbie isn’t full featured?

        • OutOfOrbit

          those are extra

  • theblackdog

    I really ought to thank my Republican friends on Facebook who keep freaking the fuck out over every possible questioning of things like the Maryland flag or the state song because when they do it brings it to the attention of me and other liberals who then realize that there’s actually a possible problem here. It’s like these people have never heard of the Streisand Effect.

    Also I have come to the realization that state songs are fucking pointless.

    • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

      We’ve ended up taking ours and using it for a soccer song.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      ♪ ♫ ♬ ♭ Let ’em all go to hell
      Except Cave 76!

  • SayItWithWookies

    “War brings out the patriotic bullies. In World War I, they went around kicking dachshunds on the grounds that dachshunds were ‘German dogs.’ They did not, however, go around kicking German shepherds.”

    Happy Molly Ivins’ birthday! I’ll raise some local brew in her name later tonight.

    • Parakeetist

      May she rest in peace.

  • memzilla Ω

    Rome is trying to ban people from taking their delicious homemade pastas and frittatas to the beach. The people who bring big bundles of homemade food to the beach are called “fagottari” (cf. “bundlers”). MACARONI OMELETTE LIBELZ!!1!!
    . https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/04e9448b1f13602115ab7295761eb43a921cb1b1d0bd5eaee653fca87072ca30.jpg

  • jesterpunk

    When Trump is impeached (because I cant see him resigning like Nixon did) he cannot be pardoned by anyone. That is the one limit spelled out in the constitution.

    https://www.law.cornell.edu/constitution/articleii

    The President shall be commander in chief of the Army and Navy of the United States, and of the militia of the several states, when called into the actual service of the United States; he may require the opinion, in writing, of the principal officer in each of the executive departments, upon any subject relating to the duties of their respective offices, and he shall have power to grant reprieves and pardons for offenses against the United States, except in cases of impeachment.

    • DrBigHead

      Now this could get interesting. What would win? Trump’s massive ego preventing him from resigning, or a desire to stay out of jail?

      • jesterpunk

        His ego of course.

        • DrBigHead

          His ego is going to retire with a more impressive win record that Mayweather

      • CripesAmighty

        Ego. The Park Rangers are gonna have to peel his fingernails out of the door jambs to cart him off to Leavenworth.

    • Msgr_MΩment
  • CO
    • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

      Huh, that’s something you don’t see every day.

    • jesterpunk

      When you have lost Ann Coulter…

      • TJ Barke

        You’ve lost an irrelevant, hateful has-been?

        • jesterpunk

          Isnt that all of Trump’s “celebrity” base?

          • TJ Barke

            More or less.

        • Parakeetist

          She is yucky.

    • Daredevil

      Ah, so THAT must be why the news this morning said that there were reports of pigs flying while snow was falling in hell.

    • spangled
      • CO

        Please clap.

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      Ann feels that our economic inequality problems could be solved less by tax breaks for the wealthy and more by deporting the wrong sort of people.

    • Serai 1

      FUCK YOU, you bitch. YOU are one of the reasons we’re in this mess.

      • *now* look what you’ve done!

        without book sales, she’ll have to fall back on her good looks.

  • TJ Barke

    “Not a 10, sad!” -Lord Dampnut.

  • Daredevil

    This article may be of interest to some of you. It turns out that the creator of the Pepe the frog meme has harsh words for the alt-right as well as Islamophobes. I kinda feel bad for the guy. I can’t imagine what it would feel like to see a character you created become a symbol of Nazis.

    http://www.avclub.com/pepe-the-frog-creator-shuts-down-islamophobic-alt-righ-1798544763

    • jesterpunk

      Didnt he also kill the frog because Nazis where using it?

      • TJ Barke

        I believe so.

      • Daredevil

        Yes.

    • Serai 1

      I figured his laissez-faire attitude about it was going to change at some point.

  • Lyly Sirivong
  • Anna Elizabeth

    Steve Rogers: “I’ve been on my own since I was 18. I never really fit in anywhere, even in the army. My faith’s in people, I guess. Individuals.”

    Y’alls ever need a role model, a hero? I certainly do. I have always been alone, always different, always *wrong*. No one ever wanted to fit in more than I do, and no one ever fit in less than I do. Luckily, I have Captain America. He was the scrawny kid that could take a punch, and when he got the chance to be his true self, he started to dish out the punches too. He doesn’t fit in either. Admired, but not belonging. And always taking those punches. “I can do this all day.”

    And I have to accept that I will always stand alone. I don’t fit in anywhere, not with Republicans, not with Liberals, not with UFO seekers, not with wargamers. I have a few loved ones that need me and rely on me, mostly to take punches. I live a life at war.

    Also like Captain America. And I can do this all day, too.

    • Daredevil

      Haven’t seen you around in a while. Welcome back.

      • Anna Elizabeth

        Thank you. :)

        • Daredevil

          It’s me Ezio btw.

          • Anna Elizabeth

            xD I figured, Bello. You’ve got good taste in heroes.

        • Zippy W Pinhead

          good to see yer font…

    • jesterpunk

      Welcome back Anna.

    • Welcome home sweetie!

    • CripesAmighty

      Look who’s here. Grab a stool and set a spell.

      • Anna Elizabeth

        I’d rather be punching Nazis. My rage is set on MAX, and seeing the Orange Abomination sell fucking hats while Texas drowns has me on a short-fuse.

        • Parakeetist

          O hai! Hugs tiem.

          • Anna Elizabeth

            ~hugs~

    • Jennifer R

      Heya lovely.

      • Anna Elizabeth

        Hey Darlin’. :) How are you? Getting any painting done?

        • Jennifer R

          Only my nails.
          The scenery pieces don’t arrive until October. They reopened the backerkit but also said one of the bosses (not vagina dentata dragon) was going to be limited edition because it was 4 giant models, so I had to snap that with my birthday money.

          Doin ok, I made a twitter and made friends with like 20 other trans and enby folks, it’s been a huge boon to me socially and emotionally. Even if I ended up being the grizzled old experienced trans, doling out information about transition and sex having. (i’ve had more sexual partners than the other 15 people combined @@)

          • Anna Elizabeth

            ~hugs~ Well Done. My Baby Girl is in the 3rd semester at college, she got the classes she wanted, her fam is “accepting” her Coming Out, and her job is going well so she bought tons of cool shit to wear from Hot Topic.

            I’m glad you got the limited model, those are worth it. I finished my Italian Marines and I’m almost finished with a German tank modified with a laser cannon for Dust 1947.

            I’m down to Size 6 pants, Size 10 shoes, and I got to buy an XL coat. I’m walking up to 5 miles a day, I wore out another pair of high-heel boots doing it.

          • Jennifer R

            Awesome! I always feel “good” when I kill a pair of shoes walking everywhere. Represents a lot of hard work. You were always hot, but by now you must be smokin. Just walking everywhere to get by or do you have someplace you walk expressly for your health and wellbeing?

            I need to kick myself in the ass now that I am not alone here any more and get back to walking too.and my gender expression is suddenly becoming both more expressive, and feels less performative. I mean I ought to have done that a decade ago but whoops!

          • Anna Elizabeth

            ~hugs~ Thanx Hun. If I can put the scratch together, I’m going as Black Widow for Halloween.

            Mostly walking to shop or at least window-shop. I can buy milk for $1.98 a gallon if I do a 5 miler round trip, and Target is just over 3 miles.

            It’s always a process, moving forward is what counts. I wish I could take you out for a Girl’s Day.

          • Jennifer R

            Well three of my twitter trans friends live in Colorado, so it’s more likely than you think that I’ll end up in your neck of the woods. (I always do actually, it’s kinda my brand).

            Oh and here is the limited edition thing. Those are 75mm bases so sizable little buggers.
            https://boardgamegeek.com/boardgame/203726/dark-souls-board-game-four-kings-boss-expansion

          • Anna Elizabeth

            Those are awesome!

            Here is my Panzer IV K:
            https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/bf3bab8a5a3f08cb2f0f2f2903b1d864585565badab97168d33c6bd3d91269ff.jpg

            I just wired-up the Vampyr Nightsight gear an hour ago. She still needs the skirts added.

            Just message me when you get to Colorado, we’ll do something fun! :D

          • Jennifer R

            That looks like it could bash many a fash. (ps you would fit in well with commie trans twitter, just sayin)

          • Anna Elizabeth

            I’ll think about Hun, thanx. :)

            My Neue Deutsch Afrika Korps is almost Combat ready, my USMC force is 80% done, and my female Mercs are combat ready. 3 armies for Dust, if I had opponents.

    • I’ve missed you Anna. Welcome back to the house!

    • OutOfOrbit

      you’re not so alone — the world is full of freaks — just look at all the peeps who comment where comments are not allowed! There is something wrong will all of us, what makes you stand out is you know it; while most ppl think they’re perfect (or at least above average) Fuck’em, fuck’em all
      <3

      • Anna Elizabeth

        Thanx Doll. :)

        Yesterday – the new Learning Lady at my complex and a very cute cashier at Target told me I look “great”, and cars of men either laughed at me or called me slurs as they passed. I only wish the fuckers had the guts to say it in arm’s reach. I’m ready for war.

        The other day I stepped outside, I heard a man say “come here dumb Bitch”. I spun around, fist ready for a left, but it was old Ken yelling at his dogs.

        • OutOfOrbit

          it is a rough road you’re on but you are not traveling alone, always remember this. You may not always see anyone ahead of you or following in your footsteps, but we are always here

    • BigBoppa ~ Résistent

      You have been missed. Whenever you go quiet I worry that the bastards have finally gotten to you. Please don’t ever leave us for so long.

      • Anna Elizabeth

        I guess that didn’t tell you I left because I was very angry.

        I’m sure the Bastards will get me someday. Watch for a news story about a Tranny dying after killing 100+ Nazi assholes.

    • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

      Yay! you’re back.

    • Angela Ruzzo

      A lot of people feel exactly the same way you do. Millions of them, so you are not alone. I am the 6th generation of misfits on my father’s side, we are all different, we none of us fit in. I think they came to America in the first place BECAUSE they were misfits and didn’t fit in in their various totalitarian European kingdoms. Then my siblings and I got a double dose from my mother, another misfit. The first day of kindergarten I knew I was never going to fit in. My mother said “make friends by being a good listener, and participate in as many things as you can stand, and be very respectful to the teachers, while being true to yourself, and you can make being different work for you” and I did, and it did. It was really hard work, though. My hero and role model was my mother. Perhaps you should have given up wanting to fit in long ago, because that never works. You have to love yourself. Everyone has talents, everyone has gifts, but if you try to fit in you will never find out what those talents and gifts might be, and you will never shine like the beautiful diamond you really are.

      Also, stay away from people who only want you to take punches. Find people with positive energy to hang out with. Negative people will suck you dry.

      • Anna Elizabeth

        I don’t know, it’s mostly Liberals that tell me I am stupid or talk to me as if I am. I had to figure out that there are worse things than being stupid, like being a coward or an Internet bully

        It doesn’t matter. I can count my friends on the fingers of my left hand, and I don’t bother counting enemies because it’s essentially “Everyone Else”.

        And I take the punches for the vulnerable that can’t take them as well as I.

        • Angela Ruzzo

          I noticed after I passed 60 that I am losing friends. These are people I’ve known for 20 or 30 or 40 years that I’ve been putting up with even though they have become negative, critical, self-absorbed and completely lacking in empathy. Perhaps they were always like that, and I didn’t notice? Suddenly I have lost patience with them. If this keeps up, I will have no friends left, but it doesn’t bother me because I have lots of internet friends, like you, and books to read, and Netflix, and my cats, and my house. I think I have maybe 3 actual human friends left, but that’s OK. I don’t seem to need people around me, I spend most of my time in my mind, learning things.

          Anyone who tells you you are stupid is not a true liberal. And yes, there are much worse things than being stupid. You know, a lot of people are just slow thinkers, they have to process information slowly, think it through, find the pros and cons, before coming up with an idea or an opinion. Maybe you are one of those? My brother was like that…almost flunked out of high school, but when the Navy got ahold of him they discovered he was really smart but he read very slowly which is why he always flunked timed tests in school, and they trained him to use computers and he ended up making 6 figures as a UNIX programmer. His high school teachers would be amazed, they thought he was stupid. A friend of mind had no self-confidence and thought she was stupid (abusive parents), dropped out of school, worked for 40 years as a home health aide for elderly people, never had any money, never owned anything, but she could play the Irish fiddle like a dream come true. She was a different person altogether when she was playing the fiddle. Alas, she died of cancer.

          • Anna Elizabeth

            I don’t know. My family let me know how stupid I was everyday, and I was stupid, I took it for 42 years.

            Many Liberals seem to believe I need to be educated about *everything*, even when they simply type the same thing at me that I just typed. I suppose I am stupid, but I can live with that. It’s just one more punch, and I can do this all day.

            And I don’t mind if Liberals are my enemies, along with everyone else. It’ll be a target-rich environment when the Great Getting Up Mornig arrives.

          • Angela Ruzzo

            Well, a lot of people I know think someone is stupid if they don’t agree with them 100%, or don’t have exactly the same values, priorities, tastes, etc. My sister does that to almost everyone. There are only 2 ways to do anything in her world – her way, or the wrong way. This is why I rarely have anything to do with her. It amazes me that some people think everyone should be exactly the same. This is stupid because we don’t all like the same food, the same clothes, the same music, the same furniture, the same pets, the same books, the same cars, the same jobs, the same sports, etc., so why should we all have the same values, priorities and opinions? It is obviously not human nature for us all to be the same.

  • Thanks, Dok. I miss Molly Ivins, the world is a better place with her having been in it.

    • Parakeetist

      Sure is.

  • Vel Venturi

    I do miss her so. And Ann. We need them now.

    • Parakeetist

      Amen.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Bless their hearts.

      No! Really!

  • So, Dom Starts my day reminding me of the Lateness of Sir Pterry, and Dok ends my day poking the Molly Ivins hurt. Thanks for the memories guys

  • Picabo
    • Antonin Dvorak

      This may be a dumb question, but can horses not swim?

      • Werewolf

        For a while, but not indefinitely in a corral.

      • TJ Barke

        They can, but not that well.

      • mancityRed6

        it’s the depth the water would have to be for them to get over the fence that really makes a difference.

      • Antonin Dvorak

        For the record, I’m not saying they should have left it. I was curious if horses would just sink or have neutral buoyancy like, say, a dog.

        • mancityRed6

          most everything can swim for awhile. one of the finals for my freshman year swim class was to tread water for the entire period. I think that wore me out more than the mile swim.

          • Antonin Dvorak

            I had to do that to for a health class. We even had to jump in wearing our street clothes and make a life vest out of our pants.

      • Thiazin Red

        I’ve never met one that would have enjoyed it, but they can. Most animals other than humans can swim instinctively.

        • Elendira

          most land animals can fake it but they really don’t “enjoy” it though. There are some special cases like elephants and whatnot

      • Angela Ruzzo

        They can, for a short while, but there’s a lot of debris and contaminants in flood water, so they could easily get hurt.

      • President in Exile Firefly

        Neigh.

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        Henry the horse can even dance the waltz…

    • Thiazin Red

      What asshole didn’t let their horse out before booking?

      • mancityRed6

        if they have a horse, they have a trailer. if they don’t, they’re morons.
        if they have a trailer…yeah.

        • Thiazin Red

          Even if they didn’t, let it out so it can find higher ground.

    • Parakeetist

      Good horseya.

    • Angela Ruzzo

      The horse he’s riding is a hero too.

    • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

      that clip might be the most Texas thing I’ve ever seen.

      All they needed was BBQ.

  • Jennifer R
    • TJ Barke
      • Jennifer R

        If you clink into the thread, he just keeps going and going, even threatening to hack her account if she doesn’t delete photos of the private messages.

    • Resistance Fighter Astraea

      Snowflakes. Snowflakes everywhere.

      https://i.makeagif.com/media/3-09-2015/ho5xuN.gif

    • mancityRed6

      the mind fucking boggles at the stupidity of some people.

    • jesterpunk

      Any bets on him being one of the MGTOW/ Incel morans?

      • Jennifer R

        Well if you follow the other tweets she posts he does admit to not having a girlfriend.

        • jesterpunk

          So i should have put money on it? I read the whole thing and he just keeps getting crazier and madder which makes it hilarious.

          • Jennifer R

            Oh yeah. Shoulda seen the guy yesterday who was slagging on Chelsea Manning. I got him to admit he was mad my surgeon threw out more dick meat than he has.

          • jesterpunk

            Oh thats what that tweet was about yesterday, I saw it but didnt click on it.

          • Shanzgood

            Hahaha! I saw that but didn’t realize it was your tweet!

          • Jennifer R

            I sure hope no one else is using my little FiGo being. They would feel incensed over that.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      WTF did I just read? No wonder this country is such a mess, people are blithering idiots. I’m now dumber for having read that. And I think I may have also caught some sympathy ghey for all the pointless shit that poor girl just had to endure…

      • Jennifer R

        I find the best things on leftist trans twitter.

        • Zippy W Pinhead

          Did that idjit actually just randomly wander in and start gaslighting that poor girl about why he’s the real victim of her being ghey?

          • Jennifer R

            Yeah, he was either following her, or someone on his friends list was retweeting her and he got mad and sent her private messages about how mad he was online.

          • Shanzgood

            All she said was something like how amazing she thinks women are. That doesn’t mean that men are bad OR that she’s necessarily gay. Cis het white guys sure get their fee fees hurt when stuff isn’t all about them.

  • Werewolf

    I’m really sorry I got to Austin after Molly died. 😕

    • Panika MCD

      hey, want to help me get to vol hours at APA! over the next few days?

      • Werewolf

        Want to? Sure. Can I? It depends on what time and where you’re coming from. And is that APA in Tarrytown or at Town Lake?

        • Panika MCD

          I was going to sign up for Burnet. you know that thrift store they have benefiting the shelter? they cleared it out to house evacuated animals.

  • La forza del resistino

    Thinking i could share some celestial sipping whisky with Molly and Ann Richards makes me rethink my doubts about the existence of an afterlife.

  • Mr. Blobfish

    I miss Jack Anderson. His columns were what got me interested in politics and the damage they do.

  • Panika MCD

    for Molly’s b-day, consider a donation to one of these long term relief funds:

    Greater Houston Community Foundation – Hurricane Harvey Relief Fund
    https://ghcf.org/hurricane-relief/

    Coastal Bend Disaster Recovery Group Fund
    http://www.cbcfoundation.org/?page_id=5354

    Aransas Co. Area Relief Fund
    https://www.youcaring.com/rockportfultonandsurroundingareas-917508

    Bastrop Co. Long Term Recovery Fund
    http://www.bcltrt.org

    also too: I know that Southwest Airlines is allowing people to donate their flight miles and Hilton Hotels are allowing people to donate their “Hilton points”–I’m guessing they aren’t the only ones for people who can’t offer monetary support at the moment.

    too also: Austin Pets Alive is desperate for dog crates in all sizes.

    • Ricky Gay

      Thanks for the heads up on donating Southwest miles. That was easy!

  • Robbertjan Brandenburg

    Never heard f her but this could have been my life long motto. It actually pretty much is. Next to my “Don’t judge” ink

    “So keep fightin’ for freedom and justice, beloveds, but don’t you forget to have fun doin’ it. Lord, let your laughter ring forth. Be outrageous, ridicule the fraidy-cats, rejoice in all the oddities that freedom can produce. And when you get through kickin’ ass and celebratin’ the sheer joy of a good fight, be sure to tell those who come after how much fun it was.

    • Eileen Besse

      [Insert deity here], I LOVED HER.

      • Robbertjan Brandenburg

        Yeah she sounds like the kind of person I would have loved too.

      • Toomush_Inferesistance

        She made sanity possible in the seventies…

  • Suttree

    I finally got interested in politics just a few years before Molly passed, so I never really read much of her work. I guess that now is just a good of time as any, to get a bit more familiar with it.

    • Carpe Vagenda

      These fuckers never go away. You’ll know the names.

  • CO
    • TJ Barke

      NOOOO! IT’S SHARIA WATER! THEY’LL JIHAD YOU!

    • Daredevil

      Muslims = Give away water to people on side of road.

      Prosperity gospel preacher = Closes the doors to his church so that poor people won’t dirty the carpets.

    • Serai 1

      I’m not surprised the Muslims are kicking Christians’ asses in this situation. It’s part of their religion to do stuff like this. They take it seriously.

      • mancityRed6

        that’s the sad part since it’s in the Bible, too.

      • Elendira

        It is one of their Five Pillars

        • 🛶🗣️ Mr Canoehead 🛶🗣️

          Who needs Five Pillars when you have Six Flags?

    • II Gosala

      That’s very Christian of them….oops.

      That’s very white of them …dagnabit!

      That’s very fine of them.

  • Panika MCD

    and I always imagine that Lady Bird and Anne McAfee are drinking with Molly and Ann.

  • Thiazin Red

    Terry Pratchett’s hard drive was destroyed over the weekend. While I would like to think about there being new material, I’m also glad that everyone honored his wishes about it. Points for getting a real steam roller too.

    http://io9.gizmodo.com/terry-pratchetts-unpublished-work-has-been-destroyed-j-1798633413

  • Parakeetist

    Loves me some Molly. I miss her.

  • Angela Ruzzo

    A friend sent me this picture today from the Penis Museum in Reykjavik. It is the only penis museum in the world. I think Molly would appreciate it. This is for you, Molly.
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/b87563aa1d11cd65e2374a1c3b53cf67a19cc3ba0346c1826c7cf135498087d9.jpg

  • Lyly Sirivong

    What is your country’s favourite brands ?

    http://www.brandindex.com/ranking/2017-indexx

    The french are all about food, drinks and technology. N°1 is a sports retailer though.
    Italians are obsessed with travel.
    The US’ favourite brand is… Band-Aid, for some reason.

    • proudgrampa

      Makes sense.

      We gotta lotta hurts.

    • mancityRed6

      I spent a good five minutes with a wound once at my job in Wales because I kept asking for a bandaid and couldn’t remember the word “plaster”

      • Toomush_Inferesistance

        Try looking for baking soda in Germany….

      • janecita

        I went to a pharmacy in Stockholm, and I asked for alcohol, they told me that the liquor store was two streets away. After saying rubbing alcohol for like three mins, they finally realized what I wanted, and got it for me.

        • Changeling

          I have no idea what rubbing alcohol is. Bandaid makes me think of that eighties music charity thing.

          • H0mer0

            I would make some joke about “rubbing one out” but should note as a public service announcement that soap and water is better than isopropyl alcohol for cleaning wounds since alcohol devitalizes the skin and tissues, taking longer for healing factors to get to the wound to work.

    • Serai 1

      I think the reason’s pretty obvious – it’s one of the most useful things ever invented. I can go without fancy food, booze, and smartphones. Go without Band-aids? FUCK NO.

      • UncleTravelingMatt

        Also, too, fuck generic band-aids. Trash.

        • Thiazin Red

          One of the few things worth insisting on the brand name for. I’ve never seen one of the generics that works anywhere near as well.

        • Serai 1

          I’ve used generic ever since I couldn’t afford the brand name. I honestly don’t see much difference.

      • mancityRed6

        depends on how bad it is and how long it will take to heal.
        or if I’m at work and it keeps bleeding all over the place.
        otherwise, I just let my body do it’s job.
        don’t take away my booze
        (actually, I don’t think I have any bandaids in the house right now)

      • janecita

        I had to use a panty liner on my son’s foot, when he got a blister in the Bahamas and I didn’t have a bandaid in my bag.

        • clubseal

          You are required by law to tell that story to the first person he dates, preferably the first time they come over for dinner.

          • janecita

            Great idea, I will!

        • TheGrandWazoo2

          I had a window slide down my arm leaving a 6 inch long bleeding scrape. As I was rinsing it off I asked my daughter if she had any bandages and she suggested panty liners. Worked great and I proudly wore a panty liner on my forearm for the next several days.

          • janecita

            They do work quite well.

    • mancityRed6

      when I lost a fingernail, there was a band aid I used that was just awesome.
      just about completely waterproof and it would absorb any fluids to make a cushion around the wound. it would let air in to heal, but keep water out. I think I used two in the time it took for my nail to grow back.

    • bupkus231

      The worst thing about Band-aids is body hair…. Ouch!

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      I saw a welder once with a t-shirt that said: “Band-aids: For Times When Super-glue Would Be Overkill.”

  • Daredevil

    While we’re on the subject of the alt right taking symbols like Pepe the frog, can we please discuss how I’ve seen this Punisher skull “blue lives matter” sticker on one too many cars? I’m pretty sure he’s axed countless crooked cops over the years but it seems the character has been hijacked by white wingers? https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/90cbb558c795e912e28be01d8339d9eeddf236a74485769968fbe500cbbd341f.jpg

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      I know at least one cop with that tattoo.

    • Resistance Fighter Astraea

      Really inspires trust.

    • clubseal

      Nothing says “Protect and Serve” like a literal symbol of death.

      • clubseal

        Also, Thom Jane’s “The Punisher” LIBEL

        • Edith Prickly

          GAWD, he was hot. I’m still a bit ashamed of my reaction to that movie (no I am not.)

        • Daredevil

          Jon Bernthal is far superior.

          • clubseal

            Well at least you didn’t say Dolph Lundgren.

          • Daredevil

            Bernthal looks and acts more like him than any other version, tbh.

        • Edith Prickly
          • clubseal

            I’m a straight guy, but I can appreciate why you find that to be an attractive look. Especially if you have some paper you need to have cut.

          • Edith Prickly

            We keep him in the copy room for…reasons.

      • Daredevil

        Punisher literally shoots criminals without hesitation and walks away. That says a lot.

        • UncleTravelingMatt

          Technically, suspected criminals.

        • clubseal

          Castle Lives Matter

    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      You spelled Whingers wrong – sorry…

    • Anna Elizabeth

      Yays, the Po-Po identifying with a Sociopath Vigilante. I guess I should applaud their honesty.

      • Edith Prickly

        Yay, you’re back! Everything OK?

        • Anna Elizabeth

          Yes, thank you. :) It was rage, not depression.

          I just have to accept that I will always be alone, always be Wrong, always have to fight for everything against everyone.

          • Edith Prickly

            Sorry I can’t be there in person, but you’re not alone. Also, you’re talking to Daredevil, the original “no one can do this but me” guy.

          • Khavrinen

            “Did they tell you it was set in stone
            That you’d end up alone?
            Use your years to psych you out
            You’re too old to care,
            You’re too young to count.

            Raise your hands, raise your hands high
            Don’t take a seat, don’t stand aside
            Don’t assume anything, just
            Go, Go, Go

            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D9e8BiPIJQk

      • Daredevil
        • Anna Elizabeth

          Huntress. :) Agree 105%.

          The Howling Commandos had an Italian-American whom was also a movie actor. I’d rather admire a Howler.

    • Elendira

      Is it the punisher, I thought it was the Bad Cop Car from Transformers — at least Barricade was more honest in the Transformer movies:

      “To Punish and Enslave.”

    • Edith Prickly
  • TheGrandWazoo2

    I’d like to see 10 million people jam the streets around the White House and chant “GET OUT!” “GET OUT!” “GET OUT!” until he does.

    I don’t know if that’s what Ms. Ivins is talking about, but it would sure make my day/week/month/year.

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      I want to hear “Shame! Shame! Shame!” Game of Thrones style, but what I really fantasize about is a “Have you no decency” moment a la Joe McCarthy. I always imagined that Joseph Welch said it loudly and dramatically, but he actually said it quietly. Maybe when that moment comes we won’t know it right away.

      • therblig

        i’d settle for a doctor or emt saying, “sorry, we did all we could”

      • Khavrinen

        Pretty sure we know the answer the Donald would give to “Have you no decency?”

        Now, wait, I forgot; nearly everything he says is a lie.

      • Persistent Demme

        That will be a happy day!

    • Name the date and I’ll meet you there.

  • Toomush_Inferesistance

    Today we are all Molly Ivins….

  • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

    I remember reading in one of her columns years ago that the election of W would ” Texify ” the country- polluted air, bad roads, traffic, poor quality education system- she could have been talking about Trump just as easily.

    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      Thank Dog Molly never had to deal with donald…

      • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

        It would have made for some good reading. He could not have gotten under her skin.

        • mancityRed6

          yeah, it would definitely have been the other way around.
          of course, her writing would attract the depths of the pepe crowd.

  • Joe Beese

    I thought it seemed roomier around here.

    The Pentagon revealed Wednesday there are some 2,600 more American troops in Afghanistan than it previously acknowledged — approximately 11,000, not the longtime public figure of 8,400.

    http://www.politico.com/story/2017/08/30/afghanistan-troop-levels-trump-242186

  • Joe Beese
    • Robbertjan Brandenburg

      Yup, That pretty much sums the idea of tax cuts up.

  • OutOfOrbit

    GUYS!!! MSNBC is newzing about tRump!

    • jesterpunk

      What did he do now?

      • Joe Beese

        Leaving office to spend more time with his family?

        (Dreams are free, motherfucker.)

        • DrBigHead

          But would they want him? I suspect Ivanka would be exhausted.

          • BigBoppa ~ Résistent

            She’s had the same “headache” since she was 17.

          • Toomush_Inferesistance

            I’m thinking 12….

  • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

    Can you imagine President Weirdhair saying this about any of his critics?

    After her death, George W. Bush, a frequent target of her barbs, said in a statement, “I respected her convictions, her passionate belief in the power of words. She fought her illness with that same passion. Her quick wit and commitment will be missed.”

    So today for you, W, and in memory of a great American, we all get a Michelle hug.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/f011914883286f59629a1bd376084a8cdd7ffdb67753b062773ec0bc74519695.jpg

    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      Me! Me! I want my Michelle hug – so badly!…

    • Joe Beese

      W. was Disraeli compared to this clown.

    • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

      I like how she’s taller than him and got those strong arms wrapped around him…i bet she said, “come here little buddy.”

      • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

        She laid hands on him and demanded that the poisonous Cheney be cast out…..

    • bupkus231

      As much as I disrespected Shrub, he was occasionally able to make a human gesture, one that seemed as if it was more than a forced utterance.

      Maybe it was just better speechwriters – but there ain’t no way that Rump would/will ever be able to approach the grace of that short “eulogy” of Molly.

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        He’s a dullard, but he isn’t a sociopath

      • Carpe Vagenda

        I suspect his wife wrote it. All the same, he didn’t hop on twitter to piss on her six hours afterwards to prove his wife wasn’t the boss of him, which makes him a better man.

    • H0mer0

      what a sweet picture!

    • CeeQ

      Michelle is the best. She is my favorite Obama!

      Sorry President Bamz! I would be THRILLED to ever get to meet you but if Michelle is there, I won’t even know who you are. I LOVE her.

  • Joe Beese
    • Zippy W Pinhead

      “It never dawned on us that people might need help!”

    • Robbertjan Brandenburg

      Good lord, if these people want any redemption they would have to end as Christ. This can be arranged if they request it by the way.

  • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

    wtf:

    “Even as he laid out his tax reform pitch in broad strokes, Trump sought to turn up the pressure on members of Congress to get behind his still-undetailed effort and he called out Missouri’s Democratic Sen. Claire McCaskill.

    “She must do this for you and if she doesn’t do it for you, you must vote her out of office,” Trump said. “She’s gotta make that commitment. If she doesn’t do it, we can’t do this anymore.””

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      Yup, being an asshole…

      • Msgr_MΩment

        and necessitating his need to reimburse the gubmint and Murrican people for this campaign trip.

    • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

      As others pointed out, this was not a campaign event. It was an official White House one. Which means he can’t engage in this sort of politicking without reimbursing the government for it.

      • DrBigHead

        I think the government should focus on getting back the funds the Secret Service has burned guarding his fat ass while he golfs

      • bupkus231

        The Hatch Act????

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      He would never endorse her no matter how she voted. And he’s a freaking bully anyway. If it looks like it’s going to pass no matter what, she should vote for it, demand his endorsement, and piss off Republicand.

    • bupkus231

      McCaskill has seldom shown herself capable of this before – but I hope she comes back with a “no-fucks-to-give” response about what she’s committed to as opposed to what the fuck Rump and the GOP are committed to….

      IOW – I hope she hangs the Presi-asshole out to dry….

  • Msgr_MΩment

    Pouring out my covfefe in memory.

  • Joe Beese

    Report: GOPers May Hold Children’s Health Insurance Hostage For Tax Cuts

    Congress returns next week to a nightmarishly short calendar during which they must pass a host of bills to keep the government running, including the reauthorization of the Children’s Health Insurance Program (CHIP) which provides health coverage to millions of children in low-income families and expires on Sept. 30.

    According to the Wall Street Journal, Republicans may attempt to use the CHIP deadline as a vehicle to revive their effort to chip away at the Affordable Care Act, and could try to attach amendments to the bill to reauthorize its funding.

    http://talkingpointsmemo.com/livewire/chip-congress-republicans

    • Antonin Dvorak

      The Pro-Life Party, everyone!

    • jesterpunk

      Of course they are, Hillary helped get CHIP passed.

    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      Yippee kay oh, mutherfuckers….

    • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

      when they did cutbacks or tried to kill it or whatever during the W era, I really thought no one would ever vote Republican again…”Who cuts healthcare for kids!?!”

      I was sorely mistaken.

      • jesterpunk

        Pro life politicians?

      • Joe Beese

        If we subsidize their insulin now, it only trains them to expect government handouts later.

        They need to take responsibility for their own blood sugar levels.

    • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

      If they do, bury them. Bury them deep.

      • bupkus231

        Really. In what way do they think they come off well by extorting children’s health? Do they think they can blame it on the Democrats????

        Yeah, of course they do….

    • Anna Elizabeth

      It would seem that the GOP are even more Grotesquely stupid than even I am.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      Seriously, just fuck these people…

    • TJ Barke

      Christ these people are evil.

  • NotReallyHere

    Thank you for celebrating Moly Ivins, and thank you also for pointing me to the origin of “those cakes we like.” If you would also be so kind as to point me to the origin of
    “Canned Clams!” “You Monster!!!11!!” I can finally get drunk in peace and tranquility instead of anger and confusion like usual.

    • It’s a recepie hub post about clam linguine

      • NotReallyHere

        Thanks! Was it particularly gruesome?

        • BigBoppa ~ Résistent

          Someone asked if canned could be substituted for fresh, the monster.

          • NotReallyHere

            Ah, it all makes sense now.

          • BigBoppa ~ Résistent

            Now if only someone would reveal what happened to Brad…..

          • Toomush_Inferesistance

            Leave Butterscotch alone!….

          • He got bitchslapped up and down the Tv by Ali Velshi and Stephanie Rhule

          • BigBoppa ~ Résistent

            I happened to catch that in real time and it was delicious.

          • I have watched it more than once

          • Zippy W Pinhead

            thing of beauty

          • II Gosala

            And Lori. I hope she’s ok even though she was a murderous little thing.

          • Zippy W Pinhead

            went to work at the White House, last I heard…

        • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

          as I understand it, there was a post where the ingredient was canned clams.

          Someone had a hysterical objection to it…

          • This is the correct answer.

          • BigBoppa ~ Résistent

            You’re right I think. My memory is off cuz I is an old.

          • There is a reason i will win Jeopardy one day. That reason is that my brain retains nothing but trivial facts

          • Shanzgood

            Wasn’t it because someone might have a seafood allergy?

          • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

            maybe(?)

          • Edith Prickly

            It started out that way, then she went full Vegan Butthole about the canned clams.

          • Shanzgood

            I’m so glad nothing I read on the internet ever pusses me off.

          • Werewolf

            You never go full Vegan Butthole.

          • H0mer0

            was “Full Vegan Butthole” Stanley Kubrick’s never released sequel to his Vietnam film?

          • Edith Prickly

            Yes, some outraged concern troll went berserk over the idea of using canned clams ever, because she was an almost-professional chef, or some shit.

          • Edith Prickly
    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      Are we still doing Phrasing?…

    • Antonin Dvorak

      The “cakes we like” was from a post many years ago about a hilarious shopping list found in a walmart.

      • NotReallyHere

        Yes, there was a link in the above post, and now I finally know!

      • shastakoala

        And cedar cheese.

        • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

          i just noticed the writer included “biscuts” (Twice)
          and “MUSTURD”!

          HAHAHAHAHa
          “stuf” (twice)
          “tamatoes” (twice)
          “cerail”
          2 packs of “a peace” of smokes
          “popsickles”
          “spegheti”
          “white kasuls”
          “hamberger”

          Now, I feel bad. This person might have dyslexia.

          • Vorhees

            1 musturd
            3 ketchups

            That’s class right there.

          • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

            IKR?

      • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste
        • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

          Well healthy foods were represented, included bannas.

          • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

            And cigs.

            –Phil Morris.

          • Zippy W Pinhead

            Dick’s brother…

          • Zippy W Pinhead

            Eric Bannas are supposed to be quite healthy

  • Joe Beese
    • jesterpunk

      In prison?

  • shastakoala

    That video of Molly is wonderful. And no doubt the Texas Roach will survive this latest disaster with no problems at all.

  • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

    “KXII’s investigation into Colbert’s new interim police chief which revealed his name linked to neo-nazi websites, has gained national attention.

    In Colbert, the general consensus from citizens, is that they were surprised and outraged and wanted interim police chief Bart Alsbrook to resign.

    But a city official said, they want to keep him. That view is different from the citizens they serve.”

    KXII’s investigation into Colbert’s new interim police chief which revealed his name linked to neo-nazi websites, has gained national attention.

    The story appeared in publications and websites from New York to Alaska, generating a lot of comment.

    In Colbert, the general consensus from citizens, is that they were surprised and outraged and wanted interim police chief Bart Alsbrook to resign.

    But a city official said, they want to keep him. That view is different from the citizens they serve.

    • hendenburg2

      He blamed the fact that he owned a website selling neo nazi merchandise on metalheads who stole his wallet in the 90’s…

  • SDGeoff3

    This is very nice. Thank you.

  • CO
  • Toomush_Inferesistance

    The Mount Gay is in my hand, aloft….Molly, wherever you are!…

  • Joe Beese
  • Daredevil
  • shastakoala

    I would love to have had Molly critique, “The Ort of the Deal.” That would have been something.

  • Joe Beese
  • Panika MCD

    I was hoping by the time I returned Jazzy to APA! or find her a furever home that I would just need a new carpet, but it’s looking like I’ll need a new carpet as she’s ripped mine up in 2 places. right now, Jazzy and Calliope Jane doing the wild rumpus.

    • mancityRed6

      the house in Lawrence had hardwoods and tile in the kitchen and bath, for some reason the ex kept buying rugs.
      I never could understand.

      • Panika MCD

        she also did a number on one of my rugs and hates tile.

        • mancityRed6

          spring was the start of rug scrunching season. I’d wake up in the morning and all the rugs would be wadded up. all three of the dogs I lived with did that.

  • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

    i had a hunch, this is Ms. Ivins talking about the 2000 Election coverage:

    “The disquieting news that John McCain has a temper has been thoroughly mulled over by all and sundry. All this follows months of discussion on burning topics like W. Bush’s alleged drug use thirty years ago, vast attention to Gore’s shifting from blue suits to earth tones, Donald Trump being treated as though any reasonable citizen would consider voting for him, the Warren Beatty candidacy, and much more that is of no help whatever in selecting the next Leader of the Free World.”

    https://www.texasobserver.org/202-molly-ivins-asking-the-right-questions/

  • proudgrampa

    Of COURSE this is off-topic, but it’s OPEN THREAD (just reminding you Topic Nazis out there, [not that we have any here in our little community]):

    Today is proudgramma’s and my THIRTY-THIRD WEDDING ANNIVERSARY!

    WOOOOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    I don’t mind telling you that I am so happy to be here on this planet (still!) with the best girl and the best FRIEND a guy could ever have. We have, through the years, had our ups and downs and sideways, but she has always been there for me.

    Just wanted you to know.

    Love is a really beautiful thing.

    Love,

    proudgrampa

    ps, To me, this was always a love song:

    https://youtu.be/-48Za7VZR_c

    • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

      congrats and good on y’all – you’re one of the lucky ones.

      • proudgrampa

        Yup. And I know how lucky I am!

        Thanks!

        • Lilliansmercurio

          Google is paying 97$ per hour! Work for few hours and have longer with friends & family!!!
          On tuesday I got a great new Land Rover Range Rover from having earned $8752 this last four
          weeks.. Its the most-financialy rewarding I’ve had.. It sounds unbelievable but you wont forgive yourself if you don’t check it
          >>>http://GoogleFinancialJobsCash300TopSky/GetPay$97/Hour………..

    • Awww! Congrats!

    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      Looked up the I Ching for you: Persistence furthers…..

      • proudgrampa

        Thanks! That’s VERY telling…

    • Joe Beese

      Congratulations.

    • SDGeoff3

      Many, many happy returns of the celebration!

    • WomanInThePersistence

      That’s lovely! Congratulations to you both!

    • Anna Elizabeth

      Congratulations to you both! :D

    • Jenny

      Aww. Go embarrass some kids!

    • Parakeetist

      Mazel tov

      • proudgrampa

        Thanks.

    • Zippy W Pinhead
    • Edith Prickly

      Mazel tov, you crazy kids.

      • proudgrampa

        Thanks, Edith!

    • shastakoala

      Congrats!

    • Red Richmond

      Congrats! I’ll leave off my disagreement that my girl is in fact the best girl, and simply offer a toast to you and your girl: long may you run together. Salud!

      • proudgrampa

        Salud!

    • Riley Whodat Venable

      Good for you. Friday would have been my 40th, but that crazy bitch left me for my best friend 38 years ago. She left him 6 months after that.
      If I’d had shot her when I met he I’d be out of jail by now.

      • proudgrampa

        I gotta tell you that we are laughing our asses off at your non-allowed comment. Glad that you decided to stay out of jail.

    • CeeQ

      No YOU’RE crying!!

      Much love to you both, happy anniversary!

    • don’t mind telling you that I am so happy to be here on this planet (still!) with the best girl and the best FRIEND a guy could ever have.

      👍

    • Happy 33rd proudgrampa & Mrs proudgrampa!

      Have this box of whatever’s. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/4dd95e62a6e824ea244841e488901c1e2e3f0e4b441dc9fb4396f36cad5b8534.jpg

      • proudgrampa

        They are so CUTE!

  • jesterpunk
    • Joe Beese

      Robert Smith always looks exactly the same. Only wider.

  • I just bought myself a basil plant. I am now counting on you guys to remind me to water it periodically

    • Serai 1

      Oh, that’s easy. Look at it. Are the leaves drooping? Then you need to water it. If they’re not, you don’t. That’s all you need to know.

      • clubseal

        What do I do when the leaves start to get those nasty looking dark splotches on them? It happens to me every time and I am super garden illiterate.

        • Serai 1

          Eee, that’s a fungus. You can try pinching off the stems with those leaves, but it may spread to the main stem. Once there, you’ll have to throw the whole plant out. (Be sure to wash the pot out, too.) You can prevent the fungus by watering the soil only, and not getting water on the leaves. Also, clean your gardening tools after use.

          • clubseal

            Balls. I put the pots in another container and put the water in the outer container. And the only tool I use is the pair of scissors for cutting off the leaves. I’m guessing that they catch the fungus in the stores where I buy them.

          • Serai 1

            Definitely. Some stores are just not good places to buy plants. Go to a reputable nursery, and stay away from Home Depot or dollar stores. They sell shitty plants.

          • clubseal

            Now that you mention it, the best one I ever had was a sweet Thai basil plant I got at a local garden club’s starter sale. I could barely contain the damn thing, and it produced delicious leaves.

          • Serai 1

            The only plants I buy that do well are the ones I get either at Armstrong or a small local nursery near my house. All the ones I’ve gotten at big box stores or dollar stores die within a week or two. It’s more than worth the money to go to a good place.

    • SDGeoff3

      Keep it in a small pot or you’ll be sorry you ever brought it home.

    • jesterpunk

      Plant it outside in a little pot then you don’t have to remember to do anything but pick the leaves.

      • My balcony is on the 17th floor

        • jesterpunk

          hmm so you might need a bigger pot, then your neighbors below you can pick some of your basil too.

      • Serai 1

        Depends on where she lives. I have a basil plant outside and I have to water every other day or it’ll die.

      • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

        Depends. In our desert climes it will need water. Currently 108 here, by the weekend it will be down to 100, which will be sweater weather compared to what we have.

    • proudgrampa

      And prune, and take off those silly flower things that grow out periodically…

      • Serai 1

        YES. Pinching the flowers is key to keeping it growing bigger.

    • Robbertjan Brandenburg

      I have wasted more basil plants than Trump wasted times to be presidential and what I have learned is that watering is important but keeping them out of direct sun is key.

      • Serai 1

        Um, I’ve raised basil for years and direct sun is definitely something they need. Or at least, you’re not going to get the best amount of growth in partial sun.

        • Robbertjan Brandenburg

          Let me rephrase that: Direct sun behind a window.

          • Serai 1

            Oh, right. Yeah, indoors is a different matter.

          • Tips for that? If it’s outside i’ll never notice it until it’s dead sticks

          • II Gosala

            Traditionally it’s put in a window in the kitchen. That way you’ll see it often and won’t have far to go to fetch water

          • Serai 1

            I’d say put it next to a window so it’ll get indirect sun, or direct sun for just a couple of hours a day. Full sun all the time through glass tends to be hard on some plants, as the light gets concentrated and heats up the plant. That’s okay for hardy, woody herbs like rosemary, but basil’s leaves are more tender.

    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      I don’t speak Basil….

    • BigBoppa ~ Résistent

      Forget the water. Put it in some olive oil with garlic, pine nuts and Parmesan cheese.

      • But i want to do that often!

        • BigBoppa ~ Résistent

          My neighbor has an annual “Pesto Festo” around about this time of year. Everyone brings a handful of ingredients and a bottle of libations and we eat until everybody gets sleepy.

      • mancityRed6

        sunflower seeds are also pretty damn good.

    • Anna Elizabeth

      Touch the leaves gently when you water it. The aroma is heavenly.

      • It’s sitting next to me on the bus right now, making me hungry

        • Anna Elizabeth

          I adore Basil. The other day I made my Drop biscuits and I threw a bunch of Basil & Oregano in the batter. They were the best yet.

          • I made my tea biscuits last night…and since i am not used to my oven yet, they were way underdone inside

          • Anna Elizabeth

            My oven is spot-on, thankfully. It’s my first experience with a Gas oven.

            The range is iffy, I keep overcooking my Pasta.

          • Parakeetist

            Mmmm

        • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

          Is it named Audrey?

      • Robbertjan Brandenburg

        That’s why there is aways a bush of basil, parsley, Thyme and Coriander in this appartment. It beats febrese.

        • C4TWOMAN

          I’ve never thought of that. I’m a firm believer in growing plants outside if climate permits–and it’s much easier to add compost than repotting(groan). But maybe I’ll try a small cluster for scent…thx for the idea!

    • Daredevil
    • Jenny

      Mine already died from the heat. Also I’m the only person in Austin who can’t grow rosemary. At least I have my mint plants.

      • SDGeoff3

        And your bourbon.

    • TheGrandWazoo2

      Make yourself one of them new-fangled mnemonics.
      WTF–water that fucker. We all have a WTF moment every day.

    • Hardly Ideal

      Don’t ask me. Every time I’ve tried to raise one, it practically withered and died as I entered the room.

    • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

      Have you watered your basil lately?

      You know that almost sounds ah, just forget I brought it up.

    • Suttree

      We will just have to ask you everyday whatcha cooking.

    • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

      Don’t look at me, I barely remember to feed and water myself. :P

    • Carpe Vagenda

      Take a wine bottle (or a beer bottle, if it’s a small pot), fill it with water, and then bury it by the neck in the soil the basil plant is planted in. There, I just freed you from watering it periodically. Just water it when the water runs out.

    • TJ Barke

      Water your basil plant. Responsibility fulfilled.

    • guppy06

      Why are you wasting time reading this!? Jesus fucking Christ, water your basil!

      (Is that a sexual euphemism?)

  • Anna Elizabeth
    • Carpe Vagenda

      ANNA!

      It’s nice to see you, sweetheart. I’m glad you came back.

    • Persistent Demme

      ANNA!!!!
      Are you OK?
      I’ve missed you!
      (reading the non-comments backwards)

      • Anna Elizabeth

        I’m good Hun. Still taking punches, looking forwards to the day I can dish them out.

  • Cock Blockula

    I want to believe that if Molly had survived the cancer, we might not be in the situation we currently find ourselves in.

  • Robbertjan Brandenburg

    It’s 1 AM here and I am not tired, also not drunk because study and shit. Yet it is raining here and made some good progress on the study. Open a bottle of Chianti?

    • WomanInThePersistence

      Absolutely! And cheers.

      • Robbertjan Brandenburg

        Done. Funny thing is that I haven’t drank Chianti since my forst date after my divorce. The smell of the wine brought back memories right away. Funny how that works.

    • SDGeoff3

      Just don’t get too drnuk now!
      That Chntia can get to you.

      • Robbertjan Brandenburg

        Yeah same for you.

        • Carpe Vagenda

          Do you keep fava beans in the house?

    • Changeling

      Are you sure you’re not drnuk?

      • Robbertjan Brandenburg

        Damnit not fast enough.

        • SDGeoff3

          I know what you mean. Keep plugging.

    • Suttree

      You ask this from a crowd of degenerates?

      • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

        I resemble that remark.

        • Suttree

          I knew I liked you for some reason.

      • Robbertjan Brandenburg

        The alternative is asking the deplorables.

        • Suttree

          Touche!

    • BigBoppa ~ Résistent

      Absolutely. You can still spell Chianti.

      • Robbertjan Brandenburg

        My safe word is aluminium.

        • WomanInThePersistence

          Not in the States, it’s not.

          • Shanzgood

            Hee!

          • Khavrinen

            I can just see him shouting “Aluminium! ALUMIN-EE-UM!”, and whoever he’s with going, “Nope, thet ain’t how yuh say thet there word, pardner” and just continuing whatever they were doing.

          • Robbertjan Brandenburg

            Yeah you really call it aloeminoem right?

          • WomanInThePersistence

            I say this with love. Should you ever be offered a job as a spy that involves you passing as a native American-English speaker, you might want to pass. ;)

          • Robbertjan Brandenburg

            They would catch me pronouncing “herb”

          • WomanInThePersistence

            We’re devious like that.

          • Robbertjan Brandenburg

            Funny thing: my child is in an international school and therefore he has both American as English friends. Last month we had his birthday party and some American parents who my ex already knew already were not acquainted to me and after a short round of introduction the Americans yelled to my ex: “Hey Marcia, we didn’t know your ex was American!”

            I immediately told them I wasn’t and that they would find out after speaking to me a little longer. They actually found out after me saying aluminium playing tools.

          • WomanInThePersistence

            And now I’m giggling.

          • Robbertjan Brandenburg

            Yeah it was funny they could not find any difference in my accent or pronounciation but the correct PR of a word gave me away.

          • WomanInThePersistence

            Well, your English is vastly better than my Dutch, which in non-existent I’m sorry to say.

          • Robbertjan Brandenburg

            I’d be surprised if your Dutch was better.

          • WomanInThePersistence

            You can be honest. You’d be stunned if I spoke any Dutch at all.

          • Robbertjan Brandenburg

            Soms heb je daar opeens zo’n gek die vloeiend Nederlands spreekt. Ik heb het eerder meegemaakt. ;)

          • WomanInThePersistence

            *smiles. nods*

          • guppy06

            You can always spot the CSIS plant by how they make “out” and “oat” somehow rhyme.

          • WomanInThePersistence

            I’ve always considered “zed” the giveaway. The trick is to bring it up in conversation.

          • guppy06
          • WomanInThePersistence
          • Khavrinen

            I would say closer to “uh-loo-min-uhm”.
            And according to one thing I read, it’s all because of a typo in one of the earliest “adverts” for the metal that the founder of Alcoa ( first big American aluminum company ) refused to back down from when someone confronted him on it.

          • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

            i read a history of chemistry (or started one, it was dull).

            I haven’t heard that story, but apparently the europeans are right on this one…as in plutonium, calcium, sodium, etc.

          • Khavrinen

            I found “The Disappearing Spoon”, by Sam Kean to be pretty entertaining, but with books I always say “You’re mileage may vary”, because I know tastes in reading can be pretty divergent. It’s a collection of stories about all the elements of the periodic table, and the people who discovered them.

    • Carpe Vagenda

      If it doesn’t concern you that you can kiss your REM sleep goodbye, sure.

  • bookish

    From Humanity Road, August 30, 2017. New situation report (#3) Hurricane Harvey.

    https://d378801e40d807e3c11e-747d57cdd4775be1a452173dd9ec5b90.ssl.cf2.rackcdn.com/4d56eb312e854c1c97897514bbd68941.pdf

  • Panika MCD
  • Picabo
    • Everrett Fanuelli

      Needz Moar Teefs!

    • Blanche Beecham

      I guess G-d didn’t call Joel to tell him to help those seeking shelter with a clean dry manger of sorts. I also guess he wasn’t expecting a call from G-d since the press released excuse was that the city didn’t call and tell them to help.

      • Bill D. Burger
        • Khavrinen

          Am I the only one who finds it depressing that there are 17,000 people in one city who will go to his “services” every week?

          ( Not to mention all the ones who watch him on the TeeVee. )

          • The Wanderer

            I will be bringing this episode of hypocrisy to a coworker who watches his spiel.

    • Bill D. Burger
    • Vincent Ricola

      I’ll bet he spends an extravagant amount of money on hair products. Like a Imelda Marcos shoe collection amount of money on hair spray and scalp lotions.

    • Persistent Demme

      Stick a fork in him.

  • Daredevil
  • Picabo
  • C4TWOMAN

    I was thinking about Molly today. Well, actually anytime something insane is happening in Texas: what would Molly say?

  • UncleTravelingMatt
    • Shanzgood

      Ouch!

    • Riley Whodat Venable

      Boom goes the dynamite!

  • Panika MCD

    I may be just a little bit biased in loving this clip of Molly because I was in the audience, but it has so many fun ideas worth spreading:

    https://youtu.be/SukUnf_kn_A

  • Jennifer R
    • House0fTheBlueLights

      h h h how

      • Jennifer R

        Cats are mostly fur and hate.

    • Persistent Demme

      Awww, sweetie!

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Amazing!

  • jesterpunk
  • Robbertjan Brandenburg

    Dear people just tuning in. Yes the coming one hundred posts are about Chianti and Basil. No we are not an Italian site.

    • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

      And ah the spicy ah meatballs we like.

    • Shanzgood

      Good, otherwise baconzgood wouldn’t be here!

      • OutOfOrbit

        is he in the corn field too?

        • Shanzgood

          Huh?

    • BigBoppa ~ Résistent

      Speak for yourself Paisan.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      no fava beans?

      • House0fTheBlueLights

        or canned clams?

        • Zippy W Pinhead

          even Hannibal wasn’t that much of a monster

    • proudgrampa
      • Shanzgood

        Lordy, that looks good.

        • proudgrampa

          It’s one of my favorite meals. Stands perfectly all by itself as a main course.

      • Robbertjan Brandenburg

        The pomodori/Mozz equation i a little off and I would add some pesto.

        • proudgrampa

          Hey, I LIKE cheese!* ;-)

          Cheers!

          *And it was good with a Chianti Classico.

        • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

          And a balsamic reduction, mayhaps? That cheese too white.

    • The Wanderer

      No love for Jaegermeister?

      • Robbertjan Brandenburg

        Jaeger bombs FTW!

        • The Wanderer

          I usually take it straight, as one should imbibe a digestive. Otherwise I’ll put it in coffee.

    • Doug Langley

      What about Basil and Sybil?

      • The Wanderer

        And what about NAOMI?

  • Panika MCD

    my other favorite Molly clip:

    https://youtu.be/GaUl6x1YXpg

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      This was great. When the women of Texas stand up, they stand up. Wow.

  • bluicebank

    Probably already mentioned, but attorneys not going gently into the dark night. Pardon of Arpaio now filed under the Not So Fast clause of five thousand years of legal history as recorded by some guy in a black robe.

    I’ll skip all the legalese.
    “While the Constitution’s pardon power is broad, it is not unlimited.
    Like all provisions of the original Constitution of 1787, it is limited
    by later-enacted amendments, starting with the Bill of Rights.”

    Yeah, like there be laws. Courts love that sort of sexy talk.

    https://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/right-turn/wp/2017/08/30/legal-challenge-to-arpaio-pardon-begins/?tid=pm_pop&utm_term=.07443b7634a5

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      Jesus, after reading that I’ve changed my opinion on the fruitless nature of pursuing this- there’s some solid logic and reasoning backing them up.

    • Doug Langley

      Maybe, just maybe, there’s enough checks and balances left to keep this administration from completely destroying the country. Or at least slow it down.

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      If our republic survives this maybe we’ll see an amendment to the constitution limiting the power of presidential pardons.

  • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

    i kinda wish Abbot had phrased this comment about allowing hte military to help with texas a wee bit differently:

    “”It is imperative that we give our military and first responders on the ground the most efficient method of execution when responding to the urgent needs of Texans,” Abbott said in a statement.”

  • Everrett Fanuelli

    Is there a dress code and make up guide for Megachurch Wives? I mean it’s obvious that Fundamentalist pastors are required to select a wife as Aryan as possible, but where did this style come from? Tammy Faye?

    https://www.charismanews.com/images/stories/2014/us/Victoria-Osteen.jpg

    • WomanInThePersistence

      That is…..unsettling. And not enough mascara running down her cheeks.

      • dlemex

        Just wait until the classic getting caught for something and the resulting “I have sinned against you dog…” there will be plenty of mascara to prove she really is sorry.

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      The megachurchers all get their wives mail ordered from the same factory under a bridge someplace in the midwest. I read that on the innertubes.

      • BigBoppa ~ Résistent

        I thought Stepford was on the east coast.

    • OutOfOrbit

      a hollow shell, a plastic doll

    • Bill D. Burger

      And mano’man, they don’t age well. I give you Jan Crouch, wife of late super talibangelist’ Paul Crouch, owners of TBN the largest ‘Christian’ broadcasting network.
      One of their properties had a $100K ‘house’ for their pet, a house that was built to reflect their $20 mil home.

      http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2016/06/01/18/34D31D1800000578-3620249-image-a-11_1464801371273.jpg

      This house is almost the size of half the subdivision behind it. And it was, at the time only one of 4 main houses they owned. Oh, and 2 private jets.
      “Isn’t God good?” ___ was their theme.

      http://www.aljacobsladder.com/_Media/pastedgraphic-32_med.jpeg

      • Permit-holder Ron

        ACK! Return to your grave, vile revenant!

    • Suttree

      I am not really hip to it, but isn’t there something about lightening your eyebrows when you’re a bottle blonde?

    • Carpe Vagenda

      That’s kind of tragic. Remember Bush’s favorite pastor, Ted Haggard, who got busted doing meth with a hooker who happened to be a guy? His wife took a lot of shit from fellow evangelical ministers for letting herself go and more or less forcing him to bone dudes.

      This is Gayle Haggard.

      https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/79386ca407473ce40f5282c8af0af7916a42489a122b7b4afaf01539a7af234f.jpg

    • bluicebank

      While that hair may be real, the face isn’t.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      the Stepford look

      • WomanInThePersistence

        So Stepford is in the Uncanny Valley?

        • Zippy W Pinhead

          or the photo frames aisle in Michaels

    • Jeff Ackerman

      Poor gal, she’s a victim of “Clowns R Us” makeup school

    • Les Appentis De la résistance

      The hoop earrings are of African origin.

    • Edith Prickly

      The bigger the hair, the closer to God!

  • Picabo

    RIP Sgt. Perez. Look for the heroes.
    https://twitter.com/NYPDnews/status/902874883402731520

    • The Wanderer

      Requiescat in pace.

    • Robbertjan Brandenburg

      Heard about this this morning. For what it is worth he was truly praised by Dutch news.

      • OutOfOrbit

        the Dutch know a thing or two about floods

  • Daredevil
    • Anna Elizabeth

      He probably thinks he looks like Max Wunsche.

      https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/4dbae3d1b0411059d9e5bd33b99b3db33640239cdc07aa4abc4b825a6e60d3d3.jpg

      Wunsche commanded a battalion of Panther tanks in Normandy, and a Regiment during the Bulge. The propaganda photographers always found him in the field because he was so Nazi-purdy, he stands out in the combat photos.

      • Suttree

        And that dude has a five-head.

    • The Wanderer

      See what happens when you allow them to reproduce?

      /snark

    • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

      I’m telling you, these NEO-nazis ain’t doing it right. At all.

  • Doug Langley

    I can’t believe it’s been less than a month since I started this job. It feels like years.

    I wonder if it’s just coincidence, but boss has assigned me to jobs that keep me out of the main room (with her) and in other rooms. Won’t argue with it.

    Finally phoned the one recruiter with a position in Cincinnati. She says “Well they want someone who’s really knows dot net and Java and worked with them for years and everything.” At that point, I knew it was a lost cause – they’ll never consider me qualified enough. I’ve gone through enough of this shit and have a better chance of making contact with ET than convincing these folks I can do it. Oh well, didn’t want to move anyway.

  • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

    you’ve probably seen this around – it’s written by Ted Cruz’s former comm director:

    “(CNN)Hurricane Harvey is historic, not just in its size and scope, but in its significance as Donald Trump’s first natural disaster test as President. His “darned if you do, darned if you don’t” decision to visit South Texas on Tuesday, away from the rescue efforts, was the right call. Trump is demonstrating he has the compassion and commitment to meet the needs of victims of the deadly storm.

    “Unfortunately, every president has been forced to lead this country through natural or man-made disasters and faced the challenges of serving as consoler in chief: President Barack Obama had the Charleston, South Carolina, shootings; President George W. Bush had 9/11; President Bill Clinton met the challenge after the Oklahoma City bombing. All rose to the occasion.

    Likewise, Trump is stepping up to the challenge, reassuring storm victims that resources are on the way.

    When I worked for Arkansas Gov. Mike Huckabee after Hurricane Katrina, we learned that government bureaucracy was part of Katrina’s disaster. The lack of coordination between agencies only added insult to injury. As thousands of storm victims fled to Arkansas for shelter, Huckabee cut through the red tape to provide assistance.

    Every president is different and as a result, handles a crisis differently. I am forever moved thinking about Obama, wiping away tears, as he spoke of the Sandy Hook tragedy with such heartache and compassion.

    Trump is different. He has tweeted words of comfort and used his social media presence to provide valuable information for storm victims. The administration vows his personal visit is the first of many.

    It was a teachable moment for emergency responders, which is paying off today.

    http://www.cnn.com/2017/08/30/opinions/trump-right-to-visit-texas-stewart-opinion/index.html

    • WomanInThePersistence

      Ah the sweet, creamy smell of crack (pot).

    • Everrett Fanuelli

      When did these things happen? Can’t remember.

    • bluicebank

      Not caring about Donnie’s wind-swept look, or the fashion faux pas of wearing stiletto heels to a flood.

    • Ghoti

      I don’t know what she was on, but I wish she’d share. That there is an impressive disconnection from reality.

    • TJ Barke

      Oh go soak your head!

    • jesterpunk

      I am sure the victims where really happy to know where to buy Trump’s new hats.

    • Permit-holder Ron

      I’d like to meet this fellow. He sounds like a far better president than the clown you guys have in the WH right now.

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      Tweeting words of comfort- don’t recall very many, and not impressed. There is a hysterical quality to the way Republicans are yelling “We’re so good! We’re just so good! We’re so caring! We’re the best!”

      • House0fTheBlueLights

        Well, there was this book he liked, and some nice hats.

      • II Gosala

        They really don’t get Cicero’s esse quam videri (be rather than seem)

        They’re pretending and don’t understand why we see right through them.

        I’m guessing it’s because they really think perception is reality.

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      Don’t they get dizzy from all the spinning?

    • Rick Hill

      Trump is stepping up to the challenge, reassuring storm victims that trump branded merchandise is still available.

    • Rick Hill

      Even the news is writting this catastrophe from the perspective of how it affects trump

  • Rick Hill

    “You Got to Dance with Them What Brung You”. Wishes, oh wishes, she was here.
    https://images.dailykos.com/images/441075/story_image/TMW2017-08-30color.png?1503695750

  • Zippy W Pinhead

    Here’s some quintessential Molly, where she takes down Camille Paglia. Molly slices and dices her, throws the pieces on the ground and stomps on them, then sets them on fire for good measure. Then she wipes her hands and says “bless her heart” on the way out the door…

    http://web.archive.org/web/20080306071615/http://www.motherjones.com/news/update/2007/02/MJ_1991_Sept_Ivins.pdf

    • Carpe Vagenda

      Sheesh. What an asshole.

      I heart her so much.

    • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

      What we have here, fellow citizens, is a crassly egocentric, raving twit. The Norman Podhoretz of our gender. That this woman is actually taken seriously as a thinker in New York intellectual circles is a clear sign of decadence, decay, and hopeless pinheadedness.

      Classic.

    • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos
      • Zippy W Pinhead

        There is one area in which I think Paglia
        and I would agree that politically correct
        feminism has produced a noticeable inequity.
        Nowadays, when a woman behaves in a hysterical
        and disagreeable fashion, we say,
        “Poor dear, it’s probably PMS.” Whereas, if a
        man behaves in a hysterical and disagreeable
        fashion, we say, “What an asshole.” Let me
        leap to correct this unfairness by saying of
        Paglia, Sheesh, what an asshole.

        BOOM!

        • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

          eh, I’m not so sure. I mean, in my mind, the PMS thing is sexist. Telling people they’re an asshole, I’ll take it.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      This is Molly at her most cutting and hilarious.

  • Joe Beese
    • TJ Barke

      Wow, even on fox.

      • OutOfOrbit

        and somebody just got fired i-bet-cha

      • Permit-holder Ron

        ‘The people saying the President is tearing the country apart are tearing the country apart!’

    • Everrett Fanuelli

      I’m not surprised by this poll considering the fact that many Fox viewers are in favor of tearing the country apart.

      • Carpe Vagenda

        Look at the numbers. They drastically overcounted old Republican people, and the questions are more than leading.

    • Les Appentis De la résistance

      They didn’t do the follow up where most of them think that’s a good thing.

    • guppy06

      Drawing the country together in shock and disgust at Donny Jack.

  • House0fTheBlueLights

    Fuck cancer.

    • The Wanderer

      With many sharp, rusty non-votes.

  • TheGrandWazoo2

    “Whaddaya mean I didn’t talk about the victims in Texas enough, I talked about me almost the whole time.” DJT

  • Picabo

    The world’s leading cancer research and treatment centers is still closed.
    https://twitter.com/MDAndersonNews/status/902720752092413952

  • Joe Beese

    Despite a study showing that 98.5 percent of individually written net neutrality comments support the US’s current net neutrality rules, AT&T is claiming that the vast majority of “legitimate” comments favor repealing the rules.

    https://arstechnica.com/tech-policy/2017/08/att-absurdly-claims-that-most-legitimate-net-neutrality-comments-favor-repeal/

    • Permit-holder Ron

      ‘Legitimate’ = ‘agreeing with us.’

    • Villago Delenda Est

      AT&T = The phone company that does not care because it does not have to.

      Nationalize them and turn their execs into paupers.

  • CO
    • spangled

      they’re getting so fucking bold in North Carolina. their old maps were JUST thrown out by the courts for racial gerrymandering.

      and it will keep happening forever because it holds up long enough for the next election, and no one ever gets punished.

    • Does he have to take an underground tunnel to get to work?

  • Permit-holder Ron

    It is the right and privilege of the jesters to speak truth to power.
    Thank you, Ms Ivins, for blazing part of that trail for the rest of us.

  • House0fTheBlueLights

    We lost Molly, but we’ve still got Charlie Pierce and Alexandra Petri.

  • bookish

    Red Cross immediate need for donations of blood and platelets.

    • h4rr4r

      Removing many of the restrictions on who can donate would help.

      • Shanzgood

        I was just about to mention that. I still can’t donate because of the years I spent living in the U.K. during the “mad cow disease” outbreak.

        • h4rr4r

          Me also too. Not UK, but EU nations.

          • Shanzgood

            Even strict vegetarians have been rejected. It’s crazy.

        • Nasty Woman Persisted

          Me, too. MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

      • bookish

        I remember trying to donate during the AIDS crisis. The intake worker asked me if I was a prostitute. I just laughed.

        • You should have said, “no, but I could recommend someone,” or “no, but I’m willing to learn.”

  • Republicans want to drag us down into stupid so they can beat us to death and explode our heads with it.

  • Daredevil

    Rant: I am throughly convinced that there’s no figure in American history who has had his message more distorted and misused than Martin Luther King. From the white Liberals who foolishly say that they’re “colorblind” or act like racism ended in the 60’s to the white Conservatives who say that he would be “ashamed” of Black Lives Matter protests. Like, the mental gymnastics I’ve seen people go through to use his words to justify their version of the story is mind boggling.

    • Trump’s message has been more distorted by far – by supporters.

    • II Gosala

      Liberals and conservatives cherry pick the feel good stuff and ignore the stuff that matters like “Letter from Birmingham Jail” and Where Do We from Here: Chaos or Community

    • Catstro

      Color blindness makes me crazy. I’m too hangry to make a coherent statement against it, so I’ll let Colbert make my point https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/c1e9b455b505696cd3a7424f881c6a02dfe7f5c07f1bc0ed06ae19f6a91a1639.png

    • Khavrinen

      Congratulations, MLK. Your Dream may not have come true, but there’s at least one way in which you are just like Jesus.

  • Werewolf
  • Joe Beese

    Arkema SA expects chemicals to catch fire or explode at its heavily flooded plant in Crosby, Texas in the coming days, and has no way to prevent that from happening, the chief executive officer of the company’s North America unit said on Wednesday.

    https://www.cnbc.com/2017/08/30/arkema-ceo-no-way-to-potentially-stop-an-explosion.html

    • At least they’re sensitive enough to our panic and dismay that they won’t give us an inventory of the volume and type of chemicals they have stored there, or how long it will take the average human being to be dissolved in it.

    • wait! what?
    • DrBigHead

      I have a feeling that even if the explosion leveled everything from downtown Houston to Galveston Bay, the Texas legislature would still not enforce/require safety inspections at facilities such as this

    • Bullshit. They don’t want to spend whatever money it costs to prevent that from happening.

      This is what I hate about Texas.

      The whole culture is about bragging, exaggerating, lying.

  • Trump is an alien with a creature in his mouth that jumps out, affixes itself to Republican hate’s face, sticks a tube down its throat and lays an egg in deep stupid.

    After a short gestation period, it bursts out into applause for meaningless platitudes peppered with self-aggrandizing masturbation… then scurries off to the shadows to grow up on pets and garbage until it’s big enough to vote.

  • Bill D. Burger
  • Joe Beese

    How could you not trust someone standing in front of a flag that big?

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/a0f4fb3603ea9e609ff032d14b0541a75b3c4e02f81737e02fb59d3cc31fae83.png

    • Zippy W Pinhead
      • Joe Beese

        There are scholar presidents, and presidents who don’t read much, and then there is President-elect Donald Trump, who has said he has no time for books at all. But he does enjoy a few historically themed movies—one of which is Patton, George C. Scott’s 1970 embodiment of the World War II general. Patton is one of the very few role models Trump held up during his campaign; he frequently rued the fact that the military lacked modern-day Pattons, and when he picked retired Marine Gen. James Mattis as his defense secretary, Trump proclaimed Mattis “the closest thing we have to Gen. George Patton.”

        http://www.politico.com/magazine/story/2016/12/trump-general-patton-admiration-214545

        • Of course, Trump never bothered to read anything about Patton. Mainly that he was considered to be a heck of a general, but also a fucking asshole and loose cannon who had to be kept on a tight rein.

          • Khavrinen

            I dunno, sounds exactly like someone Trump would admire. Providing he was suitably impressed by Trump’s amazing election win and enormous crowd sizes, of course.

          • WomanInThePersistence

            Wasn’t Patton the general used in the deception plans for the invasion of Normandy? The Germans believed that there was a real army ready to attack in the Pas de Calais, when it was mostly balloons and fake radio signals. Iirc. Seems about right for Trump.

          • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

            yes

          • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

            Patton was an asshole and Trump can identify with assholes. At least Patton was our asshole. I would “disown” Trump in a moment if I could.

        • So Trump watches movies. And this writer is acting like that’s some kind of fucking accomplishment??!?!

        • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

          Patton would have kicked Trump’s ass up one side and down the other both rhetorically and figuratively. Even now, he is probably kicking the shit out of his casket trying to get out and do just that.

    • wait! what?
  • Picabo

    Mike Royko is another great journalist I miss. He stood up against Richard J. Daley. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/b77459d8b0417a9671374e347a2134942d7cb160aff533c69aa39be9f11fafcd.jpg

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      I remember those days…

  • Anna Elizabeth

    Calling this finished: 1/48 Tamiya Panzer IVH “Dustified” into a Panzer IV K with a Laser cannon and Vampyr Night-fighting gear, for the Dust 1947 wargame, airbrushed in a scheme for the New Afrika Korps.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/184de93b9d81b53bfb1dab79d85c43e1817aa6a8c05a4d46fa48c6a15a342d0d.jpg https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/74928ce39d485db700438cca7f589433d682d0345c12a333defb430bdc07b07f.jpg https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/c3ba877ce4a9e76abf9dbc6f4b8f8dfe2fa72bf8e6fa39e872491e339700a7c1.jpg

    • h4rr4r

      Hi!

      Everybody! She’s back!

    • Doug Langley

      Wow! What detail!

      • Anna Elizabeth

        Thank you, it took some time but I’m pleased. I just wired the Vampyr system (which was real tech) and added the skirts today.

        • h4rr4r

          Infrared, right?

        • BigBoppa ~ Résistent

          I hope those skirts are Catholic school plaid.

          I’ll show myself out.

          • OutOfOrbit

            reversable

        • BigBoppa ~ Résistent

          BTW Anna. I told you I was experimenting with a PVC material called Palight. I built a dust collector for my polishing lathe. It came out great. It glues up with regular PVC solvent and I sprayed the whole thing with a flat black because polishing dirt is nasty. I even machined in a slot on the bottom for a removable tray for cleanup. It has a magnetic clasp so it stays in place.

          https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/a094cbf2a11555bb14f540372124d3de4629fe64ca6a7b5781eaf43859746590.jpg

          • Anna Elizabeth

            Awesome!

    • OutOfOrbit

      donut know how you do it

    • biologydave

      Tamiya makes an incredible kit. Nice job!

      • Anna Elizabeth

        Thank you. I do love Tamiya kits, I have a halftrack and a recon 8-rad in-progress for the Afrika Korps now. They picked 1/48 scale for Dust so we could use Tamiya kits and accessories with it.

        • biologydave

          I’ve built the Japanese bulldozer and the Kubelwagon as far as the vehicles. The WWII planes OTOH……..

          • Anna Elizabeth

            I have a 1/48 Tamiya F4U4 Corsair, still unstarted. Beautiful kit though.

            I’m also started on a 1/35 Easy Eight Sherman from Tamiya, I bought Voyager Photoetch and an Asuka .50 for it.

          • biologydave

            The Corsair is a real shake-and-bake kit and the wings are masterfully engineered. And good call on the PE. I LOVE working with PE and it adds so much texture.

          • Anna Elizabeth

            Tamiya is still first-rate, but they dogged it on a few fine details on the new Easy Eight. I think they figure we’ll buy PE anyway.

          • biologydave

            Tell me about it. I’m already $50 on my latest project and I’ll still need 3 more before I’m finished. At least I got the kit for cheap.

          • Anna Elizabeth

            What are you working on?

          • biologydave

            A 1/350 Titanic. Just about everything needs to be re-built and I’m lighting it. It’s sort of my final project in modelling so I’m going out with a bang.

          • Anna Elizabeth

            Wow. I have some 1/350 modern warships, but the Titanic will be really something!

          • biologydave

            I hope so. I’ve never lit anything before ad it’ causing me grief, but in a good way.

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      I noticed you are back commenting. So, in your honor, I popped a Guinness and lit up my last Rocky Patel Xtreme Sumatra Churchill…and ordered another box…

      Good work, BTW!

  • Joe Beese

    “Donald Trump’s graphics were easy to dismiss,” graphic designer Michael Bierut, who designed Hillary Clinton’s logo in 2015, told the design magazine Dezeen. “They combined the design sensibility of the Home Shopping Network with the tone of a Nigerian scam email.”

    http://nymag.com/daily/intelligencer/2017/08/trumps-usa-hat-criticized-by-ethics-group.html

    • CripesAmighty

      Considering the audience, seems a shrewd strategy, indeed.

  • Bill D. Burger
  • schmannity

    Coulter attacks Trump. says “fuck them” to the rich and their tax cuts:

    “Bush cut taxes! Did it create millions of jobs? Nope. The rich pocketed their tax cut & sent jobs abroad, hired guest workers. F– them.” [to which I might add, so did Ronnie.]

    What’s next, Jim Inhofe, transsexual?

    http://www.rawstory.com/2017/08/fck-them-ann-coulter-attacks-trump-and-questions-the-gop-gospel-of-tax-cuts-for-the-rich/

    • h4rr4r

      Even a blind racist squirrel….

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      “If you want to get them stomping in the aisles, pander to their racism and xenophobia! That’s why they elected you!”

      • h4rr4r

        “Economic anxiety” = “they terk our jerbs!”

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      Gee, mebbe Ann Couter got laid finally. Feel sorry for the mule, though.

  • jesterpunk

    Warning if you touch Mitch McConnell please remember to wash your hands afterwards.

    https://arstechnica.com/science/2017/08/cdc-investigating-rare-salmonella-outbreak-across-13-states-linked-to-turtles/

    The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention announced an investigation Tuesday into an ongoing outbreak of a rare subtype of Salmonella enterica linked to exposure to pet turtles.

    So far, the outbreak involves 37 cases of Salmonella enterica serovar Agbenia infections across 13 states, which led to 16 people being hospitalized. Overall, 12 of the sickened people are children aged five or younger, an age group particularly vulnerable to the bacteria. No deaths have been reported.

    With lab testing and epidemiological data, the CDC linked the outbreak to exposure to pet turtles or their habitats. The charmingly slow, half-shelled reptiles are known carriers of Salmonella. When infections jump to humans, they can cause diarrhea, fever, stomach pain, nausea, vomiting, headache, and urinary tract infections. Young children, the elderly, and those with compromised immune systems are particularly vulnerable. For these reasons, the CDC has warned of the dangers of owning pet turtles, particularly tiny ones that children like to handle, snuggle, and—in some cases—pop into their mouths.

    In 1975, the Food and Drug Administration banned the sale of turtles with a shell less than four inches long. The CDC estimates that the ban averts 100,000 cases of Salmonella infections—salmonellosis—each year in US children.

    • Nuke him from orbit – it’s the only way to be sure.

    • h4rr4r

      Mitch lives on dry land, so he is a tortoise not a turtle.

  • Th’ottest curry in th’ouse

    Thanks, Doc.

  • resisting and persisting

    Loved Molly. Would have loved to hear her take on Goodhair Perry in Dumpy’s cabinet. We do need her now.

  • Bill D. Burger
    • I personally would love to see the “Comeuppance Caucus” from Texas (all the representatives who voted against Sandy aid) have to walk down the aisle of the House and Senate flagellating themselves prior to the vote.

      • Ms.Moon

        I would be sorry for the people of Texas if this actually happened because it would be very difficult for them to recover from this if FEMA is cut. However, Texas is a red state this is what they voted for if they cannot see that voting Republican is hurting them, then they cannot be helped.

        • One of the things that pisses me off about Texas Republicans is that they’re great at posturing about “independence” and not needing government, but they’re the first with their hands out when something happens to them. Let’s get real, it’s an absolute guarantee that hurricanes will hit Texas, it’s a guarantee that there will be flooding, and that it’ll be expensive as hell to fix it because Texas doesn’t believe in things like “preventative measures” or “regulations.”

          There’s the nasty, vindictive side of me that’s thinking they should be told “This is it, the last time. Next time, you’re on your own.”

  • Bill D. Burger

    Amazing ‘Before’ and ‘After’ shot of I-10 between Houston and Beaumont.

    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DIf988FUEAASzOt.jpg

    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DIf988FVAAAuzOO.jpg

    • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

      i saw that earlier and still can’t literally believe it.

      • Bill D. Burger

        We’ve driven through there in years past and I can hardly comprehend it. We were in Nawlins’ the year after Katrina and were amazed at the resiliency and good hearts of the people. They were remarkable and I know the hearty folk of Texas will respond the same way. Like a phoenix from the ashes.

    • Anna Elizabeth

      That’s heartbreaking.

    • WomanInThePersistence

      JFC.

    • CeeQ

      Actual waves on the interstate. Fuck.

  • Panika MCD

    Harvey photo dump:

    remember how Ashton’s Costco run got paid for by a goodly stranger? well, after doing a couple runs back and forth from Alief ISD (which has collected a gobsmacking amount of donations), they used the money they saved yesterday on an Academy run. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/1da37f4737bec2332e538d63d3fb5bffeef2a6f8e7c4181dfcdd3ea3e8945a61.jpg

    here’s a Texas woman all, “no, longhorn, you turn your ass around and march right back where I told you to go.” https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/8127faf6b8f5071e12b52ee34f3c08c32a5e3edb9b3ac93c419e010f79c3bb05.jpg

    #NoahsArk is a kid named Noah who is going around and getting all the animals that previous search and rescues have missed in his kayak. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/af1bcb2db79e8e832859a86cab24da4bf4f5b2d26f9e81df8d9ba7f80db07af2.jpg

    GRB prepares to receive patients from yet another closed hospital by setting up a field hospital https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/8e1b8fce3544e848d11b3f3fe5cd189eb0509669101fd5a41d4700eb37216c5d.jpg

    THIS: https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/115e23e05182ab63b88320568d828d5a6a998e76abaf342387773ea6b2fd4101.jpg

    and a happy times video.
    https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=1443820712374643&id=471624476260943

    • WomanInThePersistence

      I’m not weeping. You’re weeping. Thanks Panika.

      • Panika MCD

        oh, I should have shared the photo montage with Celine Dion’s “My Heart Will Go On” and Sarah McLaughlin’s “Angel”–it’s derpy music, but I bawled.

        • WomanInThePersistence

          I have never made it through “Angel” without tears. Never.

    • Suttree

      I love the kid with the kayak! That would have been me 30 years ago. *sniffles*

    • TootsStansbury

      Thank you. I like positive things.

  • Jennifer R

    So honesty time folks. I’ve done like zero exercise all summer because reasons. I also put 10 pounds back on. So to keep myself motivated I found some of my almost fits shirts that I like. So if I can actually plunk back to under 170 (my 10 pounds plus five more), I’m putting this shirt in to the rotation.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/92eb9530ac3b717a6e2aad92b61e8237665c9277ce7a860acfd31085088e2d2b.jpg

    • Anna Elizabeth

      I love this top! You can do it, Girl. :)

    • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

      Well, one of those reasons being the fact you live in a “boiling swamp”. That’s a good reason. :P

    • Edith Prickly

      Wear it anyway. You look fine.

      • Jennifer R

        It’s kinda tight?
        Like I know so little about clothes is that just how stuff feels when you aren’t a slob trying to hide in loose layers?

        • WomanInThePersistence

          Personally, I think you look very pretty. And I tend to wear loose layers. But we all have our own style. And that’s good.

        • Edith Prickly

          Is it so tight it feels uncomfortable to wear, or just snug? Everyone’s comfort level is different, of course – but going by your pic, it just looks snug.

          • Jennifer R

            I don’t think it’s uncomfortable (I think I bra is though) but it’s snugger than I am really used to.

    • Suttree

      You must be tall, because you look pretty thin to me.

      • Jennifer R
        • Suttree

          I weighed 195 before my back injury. I’m up to 224 now. I’m 6’1. :p You look great darling!

          • Jennifer R

            Oh I was over 300 when I hurt mine. Landed on my tailbone perfectly perpendicular. On pictures I can’t show here you can see my tailbone sticking out.

          • Suttree

            Mine wasn’t that serious. Just a slightly herniated disk and then myofascial pain everywhere. A year later it’s a hell of a lot better.

  • Joe Beese

    Terrible news for porn scriptwriters.

    Domino’s testing self-driving pizza delivery

    http://money.cnn.com/2017/08/29/technology/ford-dominos-self-driving-car/index.html

    • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

      Then, a nekkid robot opens the door and it’s on with the WD-40.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      That sounds horrendous. If I’m ordering a pie from Domino’s, it’s because I don’t feel like making myself presentable enough to go out. Damned if I’m going out to the car, especially if it’s raining or snowing, just so they can screw over some delivery driver.

      • h4rr4r

        This!

        I would pay extra to send a human who will bring some paper plates and such.

        Hmm, I bet that could be a selling point….

        • Zippy W Pinhead

          count on it

    • Its a whole new show, Maury.

    • TJ Barke

      Don’t worry, there’ll magically be more jobs because of that somehow… Not that the pizza delivery guy might be qualified to do them.

      • h4rr4r

        Why do we need more jobs?
        Are delivery drivers working to reduce boredom?

        We need universal basic income. Not more busywork.

    • Ms.Moon

      There is no way in Hell I would order “pizza” from Dominos in the first place so honestly this is trash and so is their salty “pizza.”

  • Bill D. Burger

    “Religion was founded when the first conman met the first fool.”

    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DIfl2jBXgAE6E75.jpg
    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DIfnlUDWsAIb46d.jpg

    “Jesus gonna’ forgive you. But he ain’t gonna’ do it for free.” ___ Reverend Cash

    • Joe Beese

      “The God I believe in isn’t short of cash, mister.”

      • “You can’t lose with the stuff I use.”

        • schmannity

          36-24-36

      • h4rr4r

        Why does god need with a starship?

        • MynameisBlarney

          Because, STARSHIP!!!

          Duh!

        • amrak63

          Some god he was–he was destroyed by the phasers of a Klingon scout ship.

          It took the main phasers of a Federation heavy cruiser to humble Apollo and Vaal.

          • 🛶🗣️ Mr Canoehead 🛶🗣️

            “There’s something bigger than Phil…”

    • Suttree

      Been that way since one monkey looked at the sun and told the other
      monkey, “He said for you to give me your fucking share.” People… so
      god damn frail they’d rather put a coin in the wishing well than buy
      dinner.

      • Is that what a monkey looks like after looking too long at the sun?

    • Looks like he’s studied under the master – Robert Tilton..

  • “Cow on building genre of Art” hehehehheeh!

  • MynameisBlarney

    GAH!

    Started reading an epic….NAY…a FUCKING EPIC story last night on literotica whilst deep in my cups, and I’ll be damned if I can remember the fuckin name of the story or the author.

    FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK

    • Typical late night literotica memory loss, I know it well.

    • Joe Beese

      FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK

      Are you sure that’s not the title?

    • clubseal

      Poke A Hot Ass?

      • MynameisBlarney

        LOL

        • clubseal

          Richard the Third (In my three way)?

      • MynameisBlarney

        And that would be in the “Anal” genre, the one I was reading was in sci-fi.
        Been scrolling through titles the last 2 hours and I got squat to show for it.

        • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

          Squat is a first move.

        • clubseal

          “I got squat to show for it”
          Ah, now you’re in the shit porn section.

          • MynameisBlarney

            They have that actually.
            Not my cup of tea.

          • clubseal

            Mine either. But the shit porn parody names seem like a gold mine.
            “Shart of Darkness”

          • clubseal

            “The Merry Wipes of Windsor”

          • Suttree

            It was better in the original German.

        • Suttree

          The Four Butt Plugs of the Apocalypse?

          • MynameisBlarney

            The Cook, The Thief, His Wife, Her Dookey?

        • therblig

          Do Androids Cream on Electric Sheep?

          • clubseal

            I don’t use “LOL” often, but when I do, it’s on perfect comments like this.

      • Joe Beese

        “Shaving Private Ryan”

        • MynameisBlarney

          Saving Ryan’s Privates

          • Anna Elizabeth

            “I think there is something wrong with the new Drill Instructor. He spent his day off screaming at his Privates.”

            “Sounds like a dedicated individual to me.”

            “You don’t understand. He was at home, in the bathtub.”

        • Bill D. Burger

          Sequel: “Shaving Ryan’s Privates”

      • Bill D. Burger

        “Pokahooker: A Bawdy Tale of Jamestown”

      • Cat Cafe of the Subpoenas

        Credit to David Letterman’s writers for “Wetness for the Prosecution”

        • clubseal

          I think the best one I ever read was “Buttman and Throbbin’ Meat the Poker”

          • MynameisBlarney

            Some of the “Celebrity/Fan Fiction” titles are hilarious.

    • Anna Elizabeth

      Do a tag search.

      • MynameisBlarney

        Too easy!
        I gotta do this the hard way!
        Because, stubborn!

    • quick – save your browser cache!

    • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

      “Deep Palin”?

      • Wild Cat

        Too stuffed up hiding Bristol’s abortions.

        (Bad taste joke of the year. You’re welcome.)

      • weejee

        Not “Derp Palin”?

    • Wild Cat

      I make some dough on the side proofreading “female erotica.”
      I swear every plot ends up with a billionaire in each hole.
      And the writing is really fucking awful. I’m also fascinated by the lack of oral sex—giving and receiving—in a lot of these books.

      • MynameisBlarney

        Far too many of the stories there start out good, then they throw in a curveball that makes me stop reading them.
        The more thoughtful authors put a disclaimer at the beginning so you know what to expect, some don’t even bother.
        They’ll start out in one genre, then BOOM, it changes to another mid chapter.
        Not. Cool.

        • Wild Cat

          It looked like a coup for publishing—buy these ebooks for a song, vomit them out on cheap paper after copyediting/proofreading them. Minor advances, but the promise of good royalties. But for every E.L. James, there are a ton of writers who don’t get a sale.
          Also, the fascination with men turning into animals is interesting—is beastiality a common female sex fantasy?

          • MynameisBlarney

            Apparently it’s a sex fantasy for all genders.
            Lot’s o’ were/furry pr0nz out there.

          • Wild Cat

            I’m suprised. But then I was never into literary erotica.
            I turned down a $1400 proofread today on three novellas of this genre. It’s just too mind-numbing. I’m anything but a prude, as everyone knows. I just hate bad writing.

          • MynameisBlarney

            1400 clams you say?
            Hmmm…I may have to look into that.

          • Wild Cat

            Well, I’ve been in the field for thirty years. Proofreading is a craft that takes many years to master. And there’s a lot of professional competition.
            Take a course and see if you have the basics. Proofreading pays $25 to 35/hour, on the average.

          • MynameisBlarney

            I will.
            Though I doubt I can compete with the pro’s.
            I accidentally words all the time.

          • Wild Cat

            Godspeed, all. But it’s a real job. It’s not just reading for typos.

          • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

            got any website or direction? cause I’m pretty good at proofreading for typos (not so much grammar).

          • Wild Cat

            Offhand, no. I learned copyediting and proofreading on the job. Places like NYU and other universities that had publishing courses used to offer it, but the demand is fading. I’d google what’s available in your area of Texas.
            But it involves spelling, grammar, consistency, tense, fact-checking, running heads, end notes, design specifications, the tedious comparison of one page against another . . .it’s a craft that’s complex. It’s not just reading.

          • Permit-holder Ron

            There’s an entire subgenre of transformation erotica. Don’t get it myself but I know quite a few people who read or write it, or both.

          • MynameisBlarney

            Some is good, most is bad.
            IMHO anyway.

          • Permit-holder Ron

            Sturgeon’s Law applies to everything. EVERYTHING!

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      I just hate when that happens. For me that can be often, but luckily not recently. I am usually reading many books on various subjects fiction and non all at the same time. If my mental discipline slips everything can get mixed up and I have to start reading over again.

      • MynameisBlarney

        Yeah happens to me a lot too.
        What’s worse is when I get into a really good story, only to find that it’s unfinished and the author incommunicado.

    • shivaskeeper

      Does your browser cache your pages? Look there if it does.

    • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

      Internet browser history?

      • MynameisBlarney

        Nope! Too easy!

        • Biel_ze_Bubba

          Ask your ISP. Or one of the corporations they sold your browsing history to.

  • Speaking of things you cannot believe, Trump claims the GDP topped 3% last quarter, but never did under President Obama. (Except he lied about the Obama numbers, which were yearly averages. We posted over 3% in at least 5 of the last 14 quarters during Obama’s presidency.) https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/the-fix/wp/2017/08/30/trump-fudges-the-numbers-to-promote-his-gdp-growth/?utm_term=.bc7f9a567653

    • Anna Elizabeth

      It doesn’t matter that he lies because his Cult takes every utterance as Gospel from the Mount.

      • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

        Exactly! Trump is lying to his base of idiot supporters who believe that crap. He does not give a shit about the rest of us. If we refuse to believe his bullshit, too bad, we don’t matter anyway.

      • TJ Barke

        Anna! Glad you’re back!

        • Anna Elizabeth

          Thanx, TJ. :) Good to see you, too.

      • TootsStansbury

        Happy to see you on here again, Anna!

        • MynameisBlarney

          Me too!

      • Drinkalong

        welcome back!

      • Anna, I understand that there are some people in the Cult of Trump who will believe him without question. You are right about that, but I do still think it is important to keep pointing out his lies. Occasionally the weight of evidence may convince people who thought he was the lesser of two evils that Trump is just too evil to keep in power. We don’t need to convince everybody, just enough to get a majority so he can be impeached, along with that misogynist, homophobic butt licker Pence.

        • Anna Elizabeth

          Oh, I agree it’s important to point out the GOPers lies. It’s simply that these Subhumans will never believe it. So be it. They have all made their choices.

  • Why buy the cow, when the “Milk People” have no idea what a “cow” is?
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/56294f8299f668fc719ae1c8bb2a8b420d0d829a17b64c42c395c65e5b91f1dc.jpg

    • TJ Barke

      It’s just an inefficient biofabricator for milk.

    • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

      I am the milk man, they are the milk men.

      I am the walrus, coo coo cachoo

      • Msgr_MΩment

        Yolk’s on you!

    • And hamburger comes from the grocery store!

      • MynameisBlarney

        Also, too; Bacon comes from a happy, magical place.

        • Treehopper1104

          From a wonderful, magical animal.

        • Shanzgood

          Yes. Yes, it does.

        • Covfefe

          Pittsburgh? Pitttsburgh is magical?

  • Joe Beese

    Oh, if he’s vehemently denying it…

    “Mr. Cohen vehemently denies the claims made in the dossier about him, which are false and remain wholly unsubstantiated.”

    https://www.nytimes.com/2017/08/30/us/politics/trump-russia-michael-cohen.html

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      Well of course he is going to deny what the dossier says. Would it make sense for some scumbag like him to say, “Yup! It’s all true!”? (Pardon the wierd grammar, I haven’t had Guinness with my cigar in ages.)

      His denial is irrelevant.

    • Permit-holder Ron

      Clearly he’s innocent! Why do you continue to pester him?

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      Denials coming out of the alt-White House have a notoriously short half-life.

  • Harvey has produced cozmic dissonance in the heads of Republicans, arguing strongly that water is actually wet.

    Stupid may have found its match.

  • DainBramage

    I read Molly Ivins’s column in the Seattle Times growing up. Both my parents loved her.

  • weejee

    It’s my late daughter-in-law’s birthday as well. We miss you Katie!

    • Cat Cafe of the Subpoenas

      Oh, I’m so sorry you lost someone so young. Hugs.

      • weejee

        Yep, she was just 30 when colon cancer got her. On the good side, we celebrated her daughter’s 7th birthday the weekend before last. She’s got her mom’s smile for sure.

        • Cat Cafe of the Subpoenas

          Oh, no, what a terrible tragedy for all of you. I’m so, so sorry. What a loss. I’m glad her smile lives on in your dear granddaughter.

    • WomanInThePersistence

      Oh, I’m so sorry to hear that. *hugs*

  • DainBramage
    • Permit-holder Ron

      Should read:

      O Yes
      O Hell, yes

  • foiled again

    A friend canoed down the Rio Grande with Molly, and it was a delight. Very funny, very game person she is reported to be. The Texas I moved to had at its core Ann Richards, Molly Ivins and echoes of the best LBJ wrought. It will some day be like that again.

    • Beanz&Berryz

      That thought makes me smile…

    • TootsStansbury

      Can you imagine these ladies as your neighbors? That’s what heaven must be like.

  • Joe Beese

    Uh oh… Spaghetti-o!

    Special counsel Robert Mueller’s team is working with New York Attorney General Eric Schneiderman on its investigation into Paul Manafort and his financial transactions, according to several people familiar with the matter.

    The cooperation is the latest indication that the federal probe into President Donald Trump’s former campaign chairman is intensifying. It also could potentially provide Mueller with additional leverage to get Manafort to cooperate in the larger investigation into Trump’s campaign, as Trump does not have pardon power over state crimes.

    http://www.politico.com/story/2017/08/30/manafort-mueller-probe-attorney-general-242191

    • weejee

      A state court workaround if tRump provides Feral pardons.

      • Martini Ambassador 🍸

        Extra upfists for “Feral pardons.”

    • Wild Cat

      Ye Nightly Foreplay is starting to feel like sandpaper . . .

    • BigBoppa ~ Résistent

      Trump bets one Arpaio pardon. Mueller calls and raises one Schneiderman. Can’t wait to see the down cards.

      • Permit-holder Ron

        Mueller and Schneiderman grin and Mueller says, ‘I bid NO TRUMP.’

    • TootsStansbury

      Goddamnit Mueller, please deliver us something; not like that hot Fitzy guy. Please.

  • Jennifer R

    Not saying anyone is guilty of this, but here is a nice informative thread.
    https://twitter.com/transscribe/status/902837372919918592

    • Joe Beese

      I’m all on board with T rights but I have to admit that “cis” is a concept I fear I may be too old to ever assimilate.

      • Shanzgood

        It just means you identify with the gender you were assigned at birth, that’s all. It’s the opposite of trans people who don’t.

        • Joe Beese

          I eventually figured that out. :-) But what I mean is that while it was always pretty obvious what my white privilege was, and in time I learned what my hetero privilege was, the idea that “cis” is a class and that I’ve been privileged by it too… it’s been slow in coming to me.

          I shouldn’t despair, I guess. One is never too old to get woke.

          • WomanInThePersistence

            Honestly, I’m still learning too.

          • Beanz&Berryz

            And me also too.. and, I must admit, it was as much the NC state legislature as anything that helped me to start really learning in this topic area…

          • h4rr4r

            All I know is if it comes down to it I will use whatever bathroom has the shortest line. I am not proud and with my issues it is better for everyone.

          • Beanz&Berryz

            A dark yard alongside the house is a GREAT spot…

          • h4rr4r

            Not sure that works for intestinal issues.

          • Shanzgood

            I feel ya.

          • Anna Elizabeth

            I don’t see it as “privileged” as much as, if we use the terms “cis-” and “trans-” then Transgender people don’t always have to be the only ones that are labeled.

          • Shanzgood

            I find it useful to identify myself that way if I’m joining a discussion about trans issues. I wish trans people didn’t have to be identified as such just in order to safely join everyday life.

          • Anna Elizabeth

            Safety is a an illusion. We are already at war in this nation. I’m ready for the day the gloves come off, and I can Dish it Out and not just Take it.

          • h4rr4r

            Is it wrong that at some point I think the labels are too much? I don’t mean don’t have them, just seems awfully private to be sharing.

            I just care so very little. Tell me what pronoun you want and I will be happy to use it, if it is not easily assumed. Your name is Anna and from your pictures I would assume she. If you wanted it as your pronoun, then telling me would be kinda nice. This is private information that I don’t need to know about people 99% of the time. Apparently there is a young woman at work who was AMAB, I had no idea and did not care. I was told this by another co-worker and I still don’t care. She is nice and all but we are not close enough to know such personal things about each other.

            Am I a bad person for just going with the flow and not wondering about the histories of my coworkers and acquaintances?

          • Anna Elizabeth

            No, not at all. It’s that some us don’t pass as well, though. I don’t know, I get admiring glances, compliments, and other greet me people with hostility and threats.

            I’m ready for the war, to tell the truth. Payback’s going to be a Cold Bitch.

          • h4rr4r

            I think I am being unclear.

            If someone showed up in my office in a dress and said their name was Julia, I default to she. Same person in my office says their name is Dave and has facial hair, I am going with he.

            Obviously I don’t require all women to wear dresses or men to have beards, these are exaggerations used to illustrate my point.

            I know plenty of cis folks who are outside the sterotype for their gender.

          • Anna Elizabeth

            Thank you for this, that is all I really ask, but it seems too much for most people, even my family, to grant.

          • h4rr4r

            Basic decency is not something you thank people for. It is the minimum anyone must do to live in society.

          • Jennifer R

            Tell that to the vocal 15% who demand we worship at their feet for them to even consider it plz.

          • h4rr4r

            Too bad for them.
            The correct approach is in my mind that we as a society make clear that this is the minimum we expect. By that I mean using the force of law, to expand for example labor law.

          • Shanzgood

            That’s a bit like white people who say “I don’t see race.” They don’t HAVE to, unlike all POC everywhere all the time. LGBTQIA people can sometimes be “out” but the reason they choose to stay in the closet (unlike POC who have no choice) is that they can’t take it for granted that wherever they are in the world is safe for them.

            If the rest of us acknowledge that we understand at least a little bit of the reality of their existence, they will at least know where their allies are or at least where they’re not likely to be in immediate danger. You don’t have to ask your co-worker to explain what’s in her underpants, but I bet you she’d appreciate knowing you’re at least NOT transphobic.

          • h4rr4r

            I think I am confused.

            Do transgendered individuals typically want to be out about that or simply live as their gender? I would have expected that to be individual preference.

            I thought treating her like all other co-workers was fine.

          • Shanzgood

            I’m cis so I don’t think I’m the right person to answer from that perspective. But as a woman, I can tell you I not only like to be treated like the rest of my male co-workers but it’s also a damn relief to know which of them are feminists because it makes me feel safer.

            That can be done in very simple ways such as, for example, any one of the 100% group of men I used to work with speaking up to tell the ones who used to play loud, sexist music on their computer speakers to knock it off like I did, repeatedly.

          • h4rr4r

            Good point.

            Salman Rushdie already said everything that needs to be said about who is a feminist.

            I really did just feel it was something if she wanted me to know she could have told me. I was mostly bothered by someone else telling me something so private about her.

          • Shanzgood

            You’re right that it was an invasion of her privacy for someone to out her if she didn’t want it. I’m not sure what I would do in that situation, as you. I’d like to say I would tell the person who outed her that they were out of order, report them to HR, and tell your trans co-worker what happened so she doesn’t end up getting sandbagged by someone else who’s not supposed to know, with the latter being the most important for her safety.

          • h4rr4r

            Also wanted to add, it’s not that I don’t see what everyone else does, only that I care so very little about it. I think the world would be better if the assholes did not care either. Then they would not be assholes about.

          • Shanzgood

            That’s part of what I’m talking about: you can afford NOT to care because your privilege insulates you. I was the same until family, friends, and loved ones came into my life and I realized they needed to know that I DO care about their welfare. They need to actively know you’re NOT one of the assholes who “cares” about them in a negative way.

          • h4rr4r

            Thanks, that makes a lot of sense.

            I still wish people could stop being assholes.

          • doktorzoom

            But I really DON’T see races, not at all. Drag, stock, Indy, Formula One, or horse, I just change the channel.

          • therblig

            so, you’re prejudiced against Lapps? shame

          • Shanzgood

            That’s because your cis white heterosexual male privilege gives you total control over the TV remote!!!11!!

          • doktorzoom

            (Hangs head in raised-Catholic shame)

          • Shanzgood

            (clicks remote randomly while staring at you without blinking)

            I’m a 2nd generation atheist raising a 3rd gen while being heavily involved with a lifelong practicing Irish Catholic.

            FML basically.

          • MynameisBlarney

            First names are a good start.

          • Shanzgood

            True. It wasn’t until just a few short years ago that I realized the ways in which I had unconsciously absorbed some really racist attitudes. I’d always exempted myself because I was raised by super-liberal hippies, but the racist stuff creeps in culturally and our white privilege blinds us to it. It’s the same with any privilege, I suppose.

          • Anna Elizabeth

            Imagine being raised by racists. I have a lot of learning still to do.

          • Shanzgood

            I imagine so! But you’ve been consciously fighting against it because you were aware of it. Imagine my shock when I realized I’d been WRONG about myself for 40+ years!

          • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

            I was raised by racists. I don’t have anything to do with my family as a result. I still catch myself having poisonous thoughts and I probably always will. I do what I can. I guess it’s a new-part-of-the-brain vs. reptile part of the brain thing, at least in part.

            All of the things that I fear that I’m still full of shit about scares me sometimes. C’est la vie.

          • Anna Elizabeth

            *nods* I hear and endorse that all.

          • Jennifer R

            You reminded me of a tweet I saw today. Also <3
            https://twitter.com/boundarymodels/status/902932124508008448

          • Shanzgood

            Sweet!

  • you guys we are so celebrating tonight at chez fuflans as fuflans and mr fuflans and the 3 cats in the fuflans household DO NOT HAVE rabies and DO NOT have to be quarantined from the bat that joined us in the upstairs office on monday night.

    (seriously, it’s been a scary 2 days).

    • That’s literally bat shit crazy.

    • Cat Cafe of the Subpoenas

      Yayyyyyy. Rabies is no joke.

    • WomanInThePersistence

      I’m delighted to hear that. And poor bat.

      • this. i feel SO damn bad about the poor little bat who just happened to get through our attic somehow. (she sat on the ceiling all night- cats never tangled with her, but did observe).

        but there is no fucking with the city of chicago in matters of viral disease and i’m not sure i’d want to anyway.

        • WomanInThePersistence

          Understandably, they have to be super cautious. Was the bat killed?

          • yeah they euthanize. apparently the rabies test – on animals – can only be done on the brain after death.

            humans (according to my vet whose son got divebombed by a bat) can get an immunization treatment that costs (4 years ago)

            EIGHTEEN THOUSAND DOLLARS.

            i’m not sure the ACA covers this.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Molotov!

    • Panika MCD

      in the words of TX State Sen. Kirk Watson (D – mine), “that was not a Democratic bat.”

  • infobahn

    I met her. I love her. I miss her.

    • Lovely.

    • Beanz&Berryz

      When she says: “When satire is aimed at the powerless, it is not only cruel — it’s vulgar,” it’s the sort of… righteous reproach, that sticks with you, deeply, like something your grandma said, that was true and good and right… Vulgar from her, in defense of the powerless, is the highest use I’ve ever seen of that word. In contrast, the use of the word by the powerful, about the less powerful, is itself Miss Molly-type vulgar…

      • David Roosa

        something republicans will never understand

        • Beanz&Berryz

          Trump and the Khan family come to mind…

    • Parakeetist

      Okay, now I’m gonna cry.

  • Anna Elizabeth
  • memzilla Ω

    Now, if Dolt 45 gets a pardon, NYSAG Schneiderman can pursue state charges independently without a missing a beat… and state charges aren’t dismissed by a Federal pardon. UH OH, PISKETTIOS!
    . https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/09618d55c938d45046f005552ec7316dd951faa022ede6badeebb4ab0b5f9597.jpg

    • Joe Beese

      Great minds…

      • CripesAmighty

        X3. Guess that confirms what we were discussing earlier. Sic’em, Eric.

    • jesterpunk

      If he is impeached he can’t be pardoned, that is the 1 exemption in the constitution.

      • h4rr4r

        Impeachment and conviction only result in a loss of political position, dream bigger.

        • jesterpunk

          If he is impeached that means he is guilty, but it depends what they find him guilty for that matters. If its treason or some actual crime then he can be tried in court too in federal and state courts. Basically he will be fucked.

        • Beanz&Berryz

          Pence too…

      • memzilla Ω

        You’re attributing a lot of political courage to invertebrate Rethuglicans with that scenario.

        • Bill D. Burger

          The ‘party over country’ slimeballs will continue to do maneuvers that make Mr. Fantastic seem like a stiff as they try to protect their majority.

        • jesterpunk

          I am hoping voters turn out in 2018 and give Democrats control of Congress.

      • CripesAmighty

        And more to the point, he can nail anybody else Dump pardons, who has, in some fashion, sloshed some dirty money through the Great Wall Street Laundromat.

        • OrG

          AOT,K?

    • DrBigHead

      So Mueller isn’t screwing around, is he?

      • Pierre_de_Fermat

        No, no he isn’t. And I’m thinking there is a secret coded message in this. Whatever could it be?

        • DrBigHead

          That maybe he has Trump and his cronies dead to rights and he is going to drop the biggest judicial hammer in the history of the free world?

          • Pierre_de_Fermat

            hahahahahaha
            Yeah, maybe something like that …

          • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

            Maybe he’s just a little pissed off about what he’s found out so far.

        • CripesAmighty

          The secret coded message: “You are a moron. I am a smart lawyer. Your clumsy attempt at witness tampering won’t work. You’re all going to jail.”

          • Pierre_de_Fermat

            “You aren’t getting out of this. There won’t be a pardon. Now, if you want to talk to my investigators, maybe we can work something out.”

        • jesterpunk

          Mueller :Hey sure guys you can have FEDERAL immunity for testifying.

          Mueller: Thanks for your testimony, by the way before you leave my friend Eric would like you to sign some paperwork.

          Mueller to Schneiderman later : Can you believe these idiots keep falling for this?

        • David Roosa

          we know about it because Mueller wants us to know about it

    • Suttree

      This is a beautiful thing. maybe that man was correct about the long arc.

    • Pierre_de_Fermat

      Rick Wilson:

      Well, well, well. This is quite something.Mueller teams up with New York attorney general in Manafort probe https://t.co/yghvisGB9y— Rick Wilson (@TheRickWilson) August 30, 2017

    • Bill D. Burger

      This is sure to start a Trump twittershitstorm’ later tonight/morning. Should be epic!

      http://politicaldig.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/trump-tweets-wayy-too-much-1.gif?w=240

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      He doesn’t look like a man with a sense of humor- not when it comes to Trump, anyway.

      • CripesAmighty

        Schneiderman don’t play.

    • bbayliss

      Schneiderman is a prince.

    • Anna Elizabeth

      I still see Zero chance the GOPers will Impeach. An Article 25 is barely possible, but there will be blood in the street before this is over, and probably before New Years.

      • memzilla Ω

        That’s the point. If Mueller brings charges against Dolt 45 to Rethuglicans and they don’t act to impeach. Schneiderman can bring those same charges — without losing an investigative beat — against him at the state level, which is unaffected by Federal actions. To the immediate point, if Twitler thinks he can pardon his underlings — as signalled by his pardoning Sheriff Joe — and buy their loyalty that way, Mueller is signalling that New York State can still chew their asses all the way off.

        • Anna Elizabeth

          I hope it works, but I think Donnie will just declare Martial Law. I don’t even care anymore, they can bring it. I have a lot of rage bottled up, lots of Payback to dish, and damned few people on my side to worry about any friendly fire.

          Let it Burn.

          • WomanInThePersistence

            Anna, no. You are too kind a person for that.

          • TootsStansbury

            I upfisted not because i think this is what should happen but what i think, sadly, what will happen.

          • Anna Elizabeth

            So be it. The human race will run out of bodies before I run out of rage.

        • David Roosa

          wow, that’s a good point……………. keeps he pressure on the collaborators

      • Alan

        They will if the heat gets turned up high enough.

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      I like that pic. Mueller has an EPIC “don’t even think about fucking with me” game face. This cheered me up.

      • Red Richmond

        “I’m here to kick legal ass and give fucks to all you law breaking reprobates, and I left my briefcase full of fucks at home.”

    • Raan
  • Picabo
    • Permit-holder Ron

      Long swing from NYC.

  • Cat Cafe of the Subpoenas

    A beautiful essay. I ADORED Molly Ivins and it is so tragic that she left us so soon. How she would have relished taking apart the current lowlives. Thanks to you all for continuing her legacy. She’d be an avid Wonketeer, I’m sure.

    • Parakeetist

      Oh yes.

  • Jeffery Campbell

    How I miss Ms. Molly. She was one of the truly greats.

  • Picabo
    • Covfefe

      In ten years, Donald will be dating her.

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    I’ll never forget Molly’s explanation of the proper use of satire. Republicans are genetically incapable of comedy to begin with, but they always reach a nadir in their attempts at satire, using it mock not the wealthy, but the most powerless and vulnerable in our society.

    • Ωbjectifier

      Punching down, like the bullies they are.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        Always.

  • Anna Elizabeth

    Sharon Carter: Margaret Carter was known to most as the founder of S.H.I.E.L.D. But I just know her as Aunt Peggy. She had a photograph in her office: Aunt Peggy standing next to JFK. As a kid that was pretty cool. But it was a lot to live up to, which is why I never told anyone we were related. I asked her once how she managed to master diplomacy and espionage at a time when no one wanted to see a woman succeed at either. And she said, “Compromise where you can. Where you can’t, don’t. Even if everyone is telling you that something wrong is something right. Even if the whole world is telling you to move, it is your duty to plant yourself like a tree, look them in the eye, and say, ‘No, *you* move’.”

    from Captain America: Civil War

    • Christopher Story

      Hi! Welcome back. I missed you. How’ve you been?

      • Anna Elizabeth

        Doing pretty well, thank you. :) Losing weight, paying the bills, doing my hobbies.

        • Christopher Story

          I’m glad to hear it. And I’m glad to know you’ve been well. How is your painting coming along? Last time I remember, you were working on some urban cyberpunk dystopian marine looking thing. It was red.

          • Anna Elizabeth

            He’s not quite done, but I’ve gotten some Weired War models done, further downthread there are photos.

    • SisterArtemis

      *waves*
      Was thinking about popping off an email “hiya!” but this is better. Good post, btw.

    • Up In Smoke O’hontas

      Hi Anna! Thank goodness you’re back! I’m wearing Crocks and a sweatshirt (I took off the torn sweatpants to wonk, obvs)…it’s a sad state of fashion affairs when you’re not around. Shit, I don’t know my cat from dinner! https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/bca11e0aafdf9faa6cf135375de6d69afb1bc178857fb3c974eb50701510d461.jpg

      • Anna Elizabeth

        Hi! ~hugs~ Fashion Tip – I’m in a Bikini right now, it’s easy, no pants to interfere with non-commenting, and that’s a Pretteh Kitteh.

        • SisterArtemis

          I’m pretty sure bikini bottoms don’t qualify as “pants” so you’re safe for commenting.

  • Covfefe

    Conspiracy. Treachery. MSNBC reports that Politico reports that Robert Mueller has combined, conspired and confederated together with NY State AG Eric Schneiderman to obstruct, resist and oppose Donald’s Plan to Pardon (PTP). MSNBC adds that Donald’s head is about to explode. irhttp://www.politico.com/story/2017/08/30/manafort-mueller-probe-attorney-general-242191 First victim: Paul Manafort.

    • OrG

      I’m no big city lawyer, but this all sounds PERFECTLY LEGAL to me.

      • Covfefe

        Aunt Maxine just said on MSNBC that it’s a game of dots.

        • Permit-holder Ron

          And thus beyond Donnie’s skill set.

    • DrBigHead

      The upcoming twitter storm will be extraordinary.

      • BigBoppa ~ Résistent

        It’ll be a Twitter Stormfront.

    • Anna Elizabeth

      Evil and Shit-Stoopid are no way to go through life, Donnie Two-Scoops.

      • Covfefe

        Ressurection. Nuff said.

    • CripesAmighty

      And as it thickens, Aunt Maxine: ‘Haha, toldyaso!’

      • BigBoppa ~ Résistent

        She was just on with Chris Hayes. I think she ended that interview by goin’ out back to cut a switch.

        • OrG

          Nah,she’ll make donnie cut his own switch.And it BETTER be a good one.

          • MynameisBlarney

            My grandma used to tell me that.
            “DON’T MAKE ME GO GET MY OWN!”

        • SisterArtemis

          There’s a pay-per-view that would rake in the bucks….

          • BigBoppa ~ Résistent

            The Thrilla on the Hilla.

      • Raan

        Thickening like a delicious stew.

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸

    How about another kitty post? Yes, you need this in your life.
    https://twitter.com/FranceWorldProb/status/903047273751425025

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      MEOW!

  • Beanz&Berryz

    This Miss Molly quote could be the Wonkette motto:

    So keep fightin’ for freedom and justice, beloveds, but don’t you forget to have fun doin’ it. Lord, let your laughter ring forth. Be outrageous, ridicule the fraidy-cats, rejoice in all the oddities that freedom can produce. And when you get through kickin’ ass and celebratin’ the sheer joy of a good fight, be sure to tell those who come after how much fun it was.

    • BigBoppa ~ Résistent

      I’ve been following that advice my entire adult life.

    • DrBigHead

      I came to Molly late in her career. Can say with confidence that I have never read a political writer I enjoyed more. She is high on my list of people I would have loved to have a beer or two with.

      • BigBoppa ~ Résistent

        Mike Royko was another, though mostly local Chicago politics. Only difference, Royko was one you’d be having a beer or twelve with.

    • Panika MCD

      I like the version where she was like, “Have fun while you’re out there fightin’ for freedom. First of all, we don’t always win and it may get to be the only fun you’ll ever get to have. And second, it’s a better way to live.”

      • Beanz&Berryz

        I can get.. down and grumpy .. about things.. and.. keeping it… strong… and fun… are my goal… Smiling and being good and happy, and trying to do good, or get good done… That’s a pretty good life… And playfulness… (almost) always some playfulness…

  • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

    We also still have Maxine Waters who was just on Hayes. And she was stoked. On fire. So awesome.

    • I love her much

    • Résistance Land Shark Ω

      And who was the Wrath of Maxine™ aimed at this evening?

      • miss_grundy

        At Tangerini. She is so happy that Mueller And Schniederman are working together and going after Manafort’s associates.

    • miss_grundy

      She so wants Tangerini to go down…

  • Yes! The only limits on Presidential Pardon power is….

    The rest of the Constitution.

    The president can’t use the pardon power to immunize lawless officials from consequences for violating people’s constitutional rights
    https://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/right-turn/wp/2017/08/30/legal-challenge-to-arpaio-pardon-begins/

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      That’s a legal theory that hasn’t yet been tested. I commented down thread, but if our republic survives this shitstorm, maybe both Republicans and Democrats will see the value in a constitutional amendment limiting the Presidents power to pardon to those convicted of a crime who have demonstrated remorse.

      • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

        Yup. You never know. After all, we might end up with a demented, delusional piece of shit shitstain trash presidunce who isn’t a Republican’t some day. I’ll be totally floored if if did happen, though.

        • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

          You would think that Republicans would see it to their advantage to limit the pardoning power of a Democratic president, ESPECIALLY if the individual was not a shitstain. After all, if you’re a Republican, why pass up the opportunity to harass a decent person?

          • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

            S’Truth!

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      Oh-Oh.

      Still and all, WTF is going to come of it? Everything is a nothingburger or at least a mehburger these days.

      ETA: Yeah, yeah, I’ve seen the “Methburger” reply already.

  • Picabo
  • Michael R

    No one is asking me
    ” What did you see on your walk tonight ? ”
    so I’ll tell it anyway
    I found a Paw Paw shaped like one of my favorite things , the salt and pepper from Eva Zeisel’s 1947 dinnerware line ” Town and Country :
    Eva Zeisel died in 2011 at 105 and was still working .
    She has a lot of great designs and an interesting complicated life .

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/f8326b7a40e4064aaa6f7f4e74a4f90267c02f5d08c750ebfff7ced8573c85c2.jpg

  • Up In Smoke O’hontas

    I wish I could fit this whole post on a Tshirt. Every word is priceless and heartening. Sorry to be on topic.

    • doktorzoom

      It happens…

  • Covfefe

    Silver lining with Donald is that Donald artfully makes deals. Wrote the book. What better President to deal with North Korean and missles.

  • La forza del resistino

    Donald: My proposed tax cuts will lead to higher wages.
    I’ll buy into this as long as I can claim an IRS deduction for vomiting on my dinner.

    • OrG

      Higher wages for WHO?

      • La forza del resistino

        Nannies, chauffeurs and butlers maybe

        • BigBoppa ~ Résistent

          And yacht sellers.

      • jesterpunk

        CEO’s?

        • OrG

          Well all right then. Those poor bastards need a raise.

          • Zippy W Pinhead

            Those yachts won’t buy themselves…

      • georgiaburning

        Luxury car salesmen

      • Cat Cafe of the Subpoenas

        For HIM, silly! He lives in a universe populated only with himself!

  • WomanInThePersistence
    • Panika MCD

      I can’t take credit for that one. though I can take credit for noting that Joe Garcia in the first photo is actually an APA! vol.

      • WomanInThePersistence

        Why on earth not? You shared it, and I appreciate that.

        • Panika MCD

          because I did not share it.

          • WomanInThePersistence

            Oh dear. I’m confused again.

  • Nounverb911
    • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

      ye gods – that’s Conservative diarrhea right there.

      • Résistance Land Shark Ω

        Even worse … that’s the street cart chicken vindaloo of conservative diarrhea

    • jesterpunk
    • biologydave

      No Alex Jones? Meh, I think I’ll watch Webster instead.

    • Moebym of the Returners

      So they dredged up all the swamp monsters, I see.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      Apparently, they’ve hired Tomi at Fox. They didn’t have quite enough bubble headed, dishonest blond spokebimbos…

      • BigBoppa ~ Résistent

        Always room for another beaver in the lodge.

    • NorthernSaber

      With Thor’s blessing, may at least two of those fucksticks be in jail for colluding with Russia a year from tonight…

    • Martini Ambassador 🍸

      I’m not saying I want a big asteroid to fall from the sky at the location of Spamity’s studio, but I’m not saying I’d be devastated if such a thing happened either.

    • Permit-holder Ron

      Da Rulez forbid me from expressing my thoughts about what good one could do with a few common household products and a lock on the studio door.

  • jesterpunk

    That isnt how it works, taxes are on profits not on what the business takes in. So lowering taxes means they can give themselves more money and not reinvest into workers and give them more money.

    https://www.nytimes.com/2017/08/30/us/politics/trump-missouri-tax-plan.html

    “This is our once-in-a-generation opportunity to deliver real tax reform for everyday hard-working Americans,” the president said as he stood in front of a giant American flag at the Loren Cook Company, a fan manufacturer. “And I don’t want to be disappointed by Congress.”

    “Lower taxes on American business means higher wages for American workers,” he added.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      Lower taxes on American business means lower wages for American workers, if anything. The threat of the higher tax bracket prompts management to pay workers more so their profits get taxed at a lower rate. It’s frightening that he can so blatantly lie and yet millions of rubes will believe him.

      • jesterpunk

        Remember when companies retained employees and treated them well? Back when you could start at a company and stay your entire career and retire with a pension? Back when the highest marginal tax rate was about 60%.

        • Zippy W Pinhead

          Now they won’t even give you a gold watch

          • h4rr4r

            I got a Visa gift card at 10 years.

      • Alan

        Actually, lowering corporate taxes AND jacking up the top individual marginal rates leads to higher wages and lower prices. But you have to do both.

    • miss_grundy

      Those “hard-working Americans” he is talking about are trust-fund babies like him and the mega-millionaires who are CEOs.

      • jesterpunk

        Hey those trust fund kids like him and his family pulled themselves up by their bootstraps and chose to be born to rich parents or something.

    • Rick Hill

      I think, more and more, the republican led(sic) congress could give a rat’s ass about letting donnie down

      • jesterpunk

        They do want tax cuts for the rich and to cut any program that doesnt benefit the rich so they will go along with this. Unless Donny fucks it up like he has everything else.

    • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

      And lowering the business tax without addressing the sweetheart loopholes on things like equipment depreciation, physical property tax, or various other specific industry exemptions just ends up putting more money in the CEO’s pocket.

  • Nounverb911
    • Moebym of the Returners

      My dad, the hydrogeologist: “Oh, my god. Holy shit.”

      When the amount of water shocks a guy who has worked with it his entire career.

    • Back in the standard Texan “Let’s compare ourselves to New Yawk City” mode.

      For example, Billy Bob’s claims it’s the “world’s largest honky tonk”, but I read there was a country bar in UPSTATE NY that was bigger. 🤣

    • Doug Langley

      It’s true. Everything in Texas is bigger.

  • Picabo
  • chascates
    • Anna Elizabeth

      Let it Burn. I am so ready for the war.

      • …of votes.

      • WomanInThePersistence

        Are you okay?

      • Christopher Story

        Can I be your company’s cook? I’m not much for guns, but I can do amazing things with rice and beans.

    • BigBoppa ~ Résistent

      Definitely another fleece-the-rubes scheme.

    • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

      yep – equality for gay and trans folk means discrimination against haters. /s

    • stumpknocker

      you have to remember these assholes think equal protection under the law is harassment.

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        That’s what happens when you view all of life as a zero sum game

    • TJ Barke
    • DrBigHead

      Never understood how extending marriage rights to all people cheapened my marriage. It makes no damn sense.

      • TJ Barke

        “IT’S A PRIVILEGE THAT WE CAN’T LET THOSE FILTHY GAYS HAVE! CUZ THEN HOW WILL WE BE BETTER THAN THEM?!”

      • h4rr4r

        Mine seems unharmed. I fully support the right of all people to suffer equally.

        • DrBigHead

          Wanted so much to say something along those lines, but the thought of Ms. BigHead somehow coming across it made me think twice :)

    • Michael R

      Straight married white people are the real victims .

      • OrG

        I don’t FEEL like a victim.

        • Michael R

          You’re not doing it right

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        ALWAYS

    • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

      “Hello MADA, hello fadder,
      Here I am at Camp Granada…”

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        try the veal…

        • jesterpunk

          Hat isn’t veal….

      • RMKH

        They say we’ll have some fun when it stops raining.

      • Canned Covfefe

        Upfists for Allan Sherman

    • OrG

      Are they by any chance accepting “donations” to help the cause?

    • Cat Cafe of the Subpoenas

      All that energy, spent on hate, and trying to co-opt the name of the people who are really out there fighting hate. Shameful.

    • WomanInThePersistence

      Meet some Christians who are really pro-marriage. Yay, UCC!

      http://www.ucc.org/lgbt_issues_marriage-equality_index

      • chascates

        I applaud those efforts even as a non-believer.

        • WomanInThePersistence

          I am also not a believer. My Mom is. And worked for this. I’m very proud of her. When I was younger, she was the practice mom. My friends would come out to her before they came out to their own families.

  • TheGrandWazoo2

    So, Mueller is teaming up with state AGs to go after Trump.
    http://www.pocho.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/11/trumpant.gif

    • stumpknocker

      hehehe trump can’t pardon state charges.

    • Canned Covfefe

      Eeewww!

  • Nounverb911

    There once was a Ted Cruz from Canada Nantucket.

    https://twitter.com/Limericking/status/902928692493602816

    • Jonny On Maui

      Who kept his brains in a bucket…

  • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

    For 13 years the American spacecraft Cassini has been orbiting Saturn. In two weeks, NASA will command Cassini to dive into the planet itself. It has been one of the great adventures of discovery for humankind. I only wish more people could relish this amazing achievement of the human mind and need to go where no one has gone before.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/ca16484b354a16484171bed94fd6a4d559c599603f5c81dde4b1f734e0b63993.jpg

    https://saturn.jpl.nasa.gov

    • Jonny On Maui

      Say what you will about this country, the people and what we build. The majority of the items we’ve blasted off this planet have outlived their design life.

      • CripesAmighty

        Too bad the gibbering idiots that comprise the population are incapable of appreciating them.

        • Jonny On Maui

          It usually involves some sort of rocket science and their ilk…

          • Doug Langley

            Jimmy Neutron: “Look, it isn’t rocket science! Well, okay, it is rocket science . .”

          • CripesAmighty

            Which is related to all that heathen elitist book larnin’ and whatnot.

      • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

        And will outlive us all. Godspeed, Cassini. And Voyager. And Pioneer. And New Horizons. When the Sun dies, these craft will still sojourn the Milky Way Galaxy.

      • Permit-holder Ron

        Americans are good at being passionate about the things they do. When they’re good things, you get… well, you get this.

    • Anna Elizabeth

      I stayed up all night when Cassini-Huygens transited the Rings. :) What a night! JPL were exultant at Reacquisition of Signal, and so was I.

      It reminds me of the time I believed in this Nation.

      • jesterpunk

        Anna, you like science stuff right? Check out this show, its on the science channel and they have the full episodes online too.Mike Massimino is the host.

        https://www.sciencechannel.com/tv-shows/the-planets/

        • Anna Elizabeth

          Will Do, thank you. :)

          • jesterpunk

            Episode 2 is about Mars and should be up soon, it is on every Tuesday night and on the website a few days later.

      • Jonny On Maui

        The people who design, build, test, launch and fly these birds are the true heros. These are the people reaching for the stars.

      • jaspersdad

        Hi Anna, happy you’re back:)

    • CripesAmighty

      Thanks for that. Beautiful resources at jpl. Wonder how long that’ll last.

    • TootsStansbury

      So many reasons to be furious with the GOP. So much wasted potential in the US. We just don’t have the will to stand up. Retreating to hate, superstition and empty entertainments is so much easier.

      They broke our spirit with their fucking hate radio, their Southern Strategy, their
      delicious appeal to resentment and spite. They’ve squandered so much of what humanity has to offer.

      I have no hope left for any sort of civilized society, it’s going away. This is my retirement, my golden years. Nothing. Death. All to enrich some fucking rich asshole.

  • Just finished watching Molly Ivins 2004 talk at Tulane University on you tube.

    It is a master’s work. 5 stars, will watch again and again.

  • Nounverb911
    • Michael R

      The first brick in the wall should contain Mitch McConnell’s head .
      ( with votes )

    • Doug Langley

      “We STILL don’t have everyone hating us?? Jeez, what can we DO??”

    • TJ Barke

      Looking at his face really makes me want to commit assault.

    • DrBigHead

      Jesus H. Christ, is this post-Harvey? Are they really that evil? (rhetorical)

      • Me The People

        It’s so awful it makes me wonder if this is deliberately calculated to damage Trump, the wall being the policy that is most closely identified with him.

        • DrBigHead

          I’ll stay with evil.

          • Me The People

            Well, if I were putting money on it I’d probably go with that in the end too. It’s the common denominator of all GOP policy after all.

      • Permit-holder Ron

        Consider, it’s DURING Harvey, when the estimates are passing a quarter-TRILLION dollars. They’re twisting the knife while it’s still entering the wound.

    • OrG

      They’ll blame Obama.
      The rubes will believe it.
      the end

      • Christopher Story

        That scary black man snuck in here when no was home and took all that money out of the budget. And Hillary would’ve cut even more, had she been elected *cough* Benghazi *cough.* Thank God the President and us were able to stop the hemorrhaging at only $1billion.

    • Juan de Fuca

      Meanwhile 200,000 Texan’s have already applied for federal assistance and many more are expected to do the same.

      http://www.khou.com/weather/hurricane-central/fema-nearly-200-000-have-applied-for-assistance/469238724

    • Canned Covfefe

      Once again I want to ask if this is for real. Once again I know not to bother.

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      “Keeping Messicuns out will solve our flood damage problems.”

  • mancityRed6

    so I grew out of what I considered my “fat” pants, but now my “fatter” pants are dropping off of me.
    I’m so glad the people walking by can’t see or don’t want to complain about me being naked.

    • Martini Ambassador 🍸

      What is this “pants” of which you speak?

      • mancityRed6

        trousers or underwear? which idiom are we speaking of?

        • Martini Ambassador 🍸

          It’s all Greek to me.

          • mancityRed6

            at this point in my drought, I’m not gonna say no.
            wait, what?

    • biologydave

      L’chaim!! I drink to your weight loss and your accidental nudity!

      • mancityRed6

        accidental. you’re cute.

    • Suttree

      I’ve been gaining weight lately. Over 20 lbs. I just ate a huge salad though. Surprisingly it only had about 300 calories of blue cheese and dressing on it. I guess I should cut down on the ice cream…… And those cakes.

      • mancityRed6

        for me, it’s the cheese…and the liquor.
        oh, and get the fiber gummies, or sugar free if you have the time to spend on the toilet.

      • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

        It’s the Trump Diet

  • Panika MCD

    what else could TX get for Molly’s b-day, you ask? how about a federal court enjoining SB4 (aka “the sanctuary cities ban”)!

    https://mobile.twitter.com/SenatorSylvia/status/903053943395233792?ref_src=twsrc%5Egoogle%7Ctwcamp%5Eserp%7Ctwgr%5Etweet

    • mancityRed6

      very good.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      unless it works its way up to SCOTUS and Gorsuck et al fuck us, it should stand

      • Panika MCD

        would need to get a different appellate circuit ruling from AZ HB1070.

        • mancityRed6

          I am scaroused by you’re knowledge of this.

        • Zippy W Pinhead

          SB1070? Don’t get me started on that POS

          • Panika MCD

            oops.

          • Zippy W Pinhead

            lol, no worries- it still sucks no matter what you call it

      • mancityRed6

        if the true argument stand, “Gorsuck” isn’t an issue.

    • jesterpunk

      Can they define “sanctuary cities” yet?

      • Panika MCD

        nope. wasn’t even defined in the law.

        • jesterpunk

          That should be a reason to automatically toss a law, if you want to ban something you have to be able to explain what that thing is.

          • Zippy W Pinhead

            One would think…

          • Panika MCD

            it’s really just another way to defund cities.

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      Stupid law. Its all about keeping the “wrong people” from gaining political power. Demographics don’t favor the white fundie Old Guard.

  • David Roosa

    I was just thinking. Manual Noriega was convicted of us federal crimes, despite never entering us soil. so New York………sheriff joe? anyone follow me?

    • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

      yeah, but the “crimes” included shit that happened in Florida – which was why he was tried in Southern District of Florida as I recall.

      I’m no lawyer, but I can’t possibly see how New York state charges could possibly apply to No-Longer-Sheriff Joe and Arizona.

      • David Roosa

        all they need to do is find a new York resident who was illegally detained by his department. violation of civil rights under color of law

        • David Roosa

          I have an active fantasy life

        • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

          eh, if venue in criminal law is anything like civil law, that strikes me as a tough sell.

  • Anna Elizabeth

    My first Girl clothes were Size 18. Now, I wear Size 6, and XL for my coat:
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/aed3596db543b0beacf0df8890150cd9f9ce09e97f46857107db6d3b8c44e26e.jpg

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/03bf63967ea474370d40cb70729132cf959a07da025f2e621a8150f1f84725c4.jpg

    It’s not about Fat-shaming. All that weight was put on by ineffective medications prescribed by uncaring doctors and by eating while sad and suicidal.

    Now that weight is almost all gone, and I eat when I’m hungry.

    • Christopher Story

      Multiple rounds of applause

    • Panika MCD

      you wear smaller pantses* than I do and I’m tiny.

      *pantses not worn during non-commenting

      • Beanz&Berryz

        You’re killing me, Smalls!

    • Jennifer R

      Yeah, like I said, you are smokin!

      • Anna Elizabeth

        ~hugs~ Thank you, Hun. It’s easier to eat Oatmeal and Rice & Beans, plus skip alcohol and Soda, when i get to buy new clothes.

        • Beanz&Berryz

          Soda is the worst.. All versions… Billions or trillions of calories a year… for nothing… Clothes are better than soda…

          • Anna Elizabeth

            Indeed, I don’t miss it. Our Jennifer R suggested Sparkling Water, and she was right, the carbonation is satisfying, I don’t miss the sugar.

          • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

            I drink sparkling mineral water by the tonne, or so it seems.

          • Anna Elizabeth

            Big Lots has Zero Calorie Sparkling Water for .60 cents, so I have about 1 a week.

        • Jennifer R

          Yeah, it really is. You look like you are doing fantastic right now btw.

          • Anna Elizabeth

            Thank you. I walk almost every day, and I eat healthy because cheap is healthy.

    • mancityRed6

      there was a time before my senior year that I didn’t like the trousers my parents picked out for me, so I tried on my mom’s pants.
      they fit. this was 26 years ago.
      it wouldn’t have been bad except for the fact that every pair I tried on had a crumpled tissue in the pocket.

      • Anna Elizabeth

        Women often carry a tissue just-in-case.

        • mancityRed6

          tell me about it.

      • Beanz&Berryz

        Better than one in the pantses themselves…

    • Beanz&Berryz

      Hawt is hawt…

  • jesterpunk

    Fuck you very much purity ponies, Republicans and Trump voters.

    https://arstechnica.com/science/2017/08/new-study-were-outpacing-the-most-radical-climate-event-we-know-of/

    If we want to know what to expect from our climate as it continues to warm over the next few centuries, looking at similar examples of climate change in Earth’s past would be helpful. But there certainly haven’t been any similar temperature excursions in the instrumental record. Using indirect measures, we can tell that there probably haven’t been any since the last ice age. Even the exit from that ice age isn’t especially relevant; while the planet warmed considerably, it was driven by a complicated mixture of orbital changes, greenhouse gases, and melting ice.

    To find a sudden warming that’s driven entirely by greenhouse gases, you have to go back 56 million years to the Paleocene-Eocene Thermal Maximum (PETM). At the start of the PETM, a geologically sudden surge of carbon dioxide into the atmosphere caused warming and a large change in the ocean’s pH. It took well over 100,000 years for conditions to return to anything normal. During that time, the extinction rate rose, and many ecosystems were disrupted or shifted by thousands of miles.

    But understanding the PETM has proven a challenge, as it’s not clear how much carbon entered the atmosphere or where it came from. A new paper in today’s issue of Nature takes existing information about carbon dioxide levels and isotope ratios and combines them with data on the amount of carbon that dissolved into the oceans. The results provide a new indication of how much carbon entered the atmosphere—10,000 gigatonnes—and suggests volcanoes put it there.

    Somewhat disturbingly, however, the data reinforces past indications that the PETM was relatively slow compared to our current carbon binge.

    • Anna Elizabeth

      Yeah. It’s over. Humanity will be extinct by 2050, at the outside.

      • Canned Covfefe

        Hey Girl! Good to see you.

      • jesterpunk

        Not sure about that, humans are stubborn and might be able to survive. The other creatures on the planet might be screwed and we might be eating laboratory made food or Soylent Green.

        • Anna Elizabeth

          I see it as, there is time left for Justice, or Vengeance.

          “If we can’t save the world, we’ll for Damn sure Avenge it.”

        • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

          Or massive die off and return to a sort of Dark Ages. Not something I’d want to be around for either way. It’s a truth that overly complex systems inevitably crash.

      • Alan

        Thankfully I’ll be dead. Worry about my kids seeing the end of humanity though.

    • Panika MCD

      but that message doesn’t, like, resonate with white dudes in WV! identity politics don’t work. what about the people who don’t need to breathe and like flooding? HHHHNNNNNMMMMGH?!

    • Jonny On Maui

      “Please! The earth is only 6000 years old…”

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      I thought that PETM were the Mesozoic anti-fur people

      • foiled again

        I’ve always been under the impression it stood for People for the Ethical Treatment of Morons. Hence our current circumstances.

    • Permit-holder Ron

      An article I ran across a while back likened it to the Permian–Triassic extinction event, when enormous amounts of carbon were released into the atmosphere, driving both a greenhouse scenario and massive acidification of the environment. It’s an ugly thought, but when we persist on pumping the shit into the environment as if it’s just a big garbage dump, it becomes all too likely to be the planet’s future.
      Lucky thing the planet is resilient. What lives on it, less so.

    • Raan

      “Once again sir, your stupidity has killed us.”

  • Canned Covfefe

    Last year on her birthday you made me fight the onion ninjas too.
    I was traveling with a dear friend and took that first book along. I stiffled laughs on the plane. I laughed out loud on the beach and reading before bed. One day he says to me, “No book can be that funny!”. Oddly he had a great sense of humor. I have him the book to read. He laughed out loud.

  • TJ Barke
  • MynameisBlarney

    HA!
    Found that fuckin’ story! FINALLY!

    • MynameisBlarney

      Now I just gotta remember what fuckin’ chapter I was on…

      • 42

        • MynameisBlarney

          HA!

          But no, not even halfway there.
          This story has about 50-11 chapters.

        • II Gosala

          Remember to water your basil.

        • mancityRed6

          I’ve been that age, the next year was horrible.

          • I will take your word. Mid 30s ain’t all that awesome

          • mancityRed6

            28-34 I spent married, technically 36.
            I wouldn’t have seen Wales, but I wouldn’t have gone to Knoxville, either.

          • MynameisBlarney

            My mid 30’s were fucking fantastic, but my mid 40’s…

            Not so much.

          • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

            you lucky bastard, you’re older than me but look younger than me?

            harrumph.

          • MynameisBlarney

            *shrugs*
            I was a late bloomer.
            Most of my family looks younger than we are.

          • Parakeetist

            I hate that!

          • Parakeetist

            Tell me about it.

          • MynameisBlarney

            Well, ya see, it all started when I met the old Voodoo Witch Doctor…

          • mancityRed6

            2006-2007 I was a swinging single and that was as fun as could be. I was 34-35.
            oh, to be there again.

          • Permit-holder Ron

            Try mid 60s, or even early 60s.

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        34, you know it’s always 34…

        • Covfefe

          It’s at 34. Tab 34.

    • jesterpunk

      You’re not even going to share the link?

      • TJ Barke

        IKR? WTF?

      • MynameisBlarney
        • mancityRed6

          nope

        • MynameisBlarney

          It looks like it might be turning out to be one of those tedious “Invulnerable Male Hero/Harem” stories though.
          *sighs*
          Maybe not as epic as I thought, now that my drunken memory is starting to kick in.
          *edit*
          Though the underlying theme is destroying a patriarchal theocracy.
          SO, not all THAT bad.

    • h4rr4r

      It is Literotica, I would expect it to be a fucking story.

      • MynameisBlarney

        This one doesn’t have that much fucking in it, thank goawd.
        That shit gets boring after a while.

      • mancityRed6

        damn you for knowing that…wait, what?
        no, I dunno that at all.

  • orygoon

    I’m trying to digitize my personal library so my next move will be relatively easy. But I pretty much have to replace many deadtree books with sale pixel copies. Can’t touch the actual Molly books yet and I have most of them. Oh, Molly, how we miss you.

    • mancityRed6

      most of my books have lasted 4 years in a storage facility, and 6 years in a storage shed.
      I’m now looking for a good bookshelf. probably Ikea.

      • jesterpunk

        I have some really good bookshelves made by my in laws old neighbor, they are really sturdy and they are solid wood. If you are in or near the country check out flea market or smaller furniture stores, you can get something that will last a really long time.

  • BigBoppa ~ Résistent

    TTFN
    Taking a break to watch Rachel.

  • yyyaz

    Chris Hayes just interviewed a focus-group facilitator who rounded up a few HRC and Drumpf voters in Pittsburgh. Six of eight Drumpf voters at the table when asked for a one word response or “don’t know” to the name Robert Mueller answered “don’t know.”

    • Martini Ambassador 🍸

      Wow. The amazing bubble people. No wonder they are clueless about everything.

      • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

        Calling that thing a “bubble” seems wrong. It’s more like a hermetically-sealed pressure vessel of some sort. With a flame under it.

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        They’re all blithering idiots. One of the most profound and depressing things I’ve had to learn and accept as an adult is that a great many of my fellow Americans really are too stupid for words.

        • Unhappy Fingers

          I disagree somewhat with your use of the word “stupid.” To me a better term for many of them is “willfully ignorant.” Also gullible.

    • OrG

      What were the other two?

      • yyyaz

        Tried to roll back to it but now that Rachel is on I’ll have to catch it on the replay. However, I was so stunned and barely paying attention that the only one I recall was, as you might expect, negative, along the lines of “ridiculous.”

  • Me The People
    • Alan

      Shocked I am.

  • MynameisBlarney

    So…my racist brother, just started chewin’ tobacco and is now starting to talk with a heavy Southernese accent.

    0_o

    WTF?

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      Damn. That sounds like Fox-induced brain rot.

      I’m so sorry.

    • Jonny On Maui

      Give him the true test. Ask him how he feels about professional wrasslin.

    • Sigh…I have relatives like that too.

    • Catstro

      Is he from the south? Is he from elsewhere, but residing in the south and picking up a comically exaggerated accent like a common Madonna? Has he suffered recent head trauma?

      Also much to my horror, the years that I spent painstakingly erasing my drawl so that people wouldn’t assume I was a moron off the bat are for naught. The chronic sleep deprivation that comes with a small child means that I don’t have the energy to activate the force field that keeps my real accent at bay. It is back and stronger than ever and I’m hoping my kid doesn’t pick it up. A polished city-Southern accent is one thing, sounding country is another.

      • MynameisBlarney

        He was born and raised in Key Largo. Deep South accents are not the norm for locals.
        He’s recently been diagnosed with bi-polar disorder.
        I wonder if that has something to do with it.
        That, and I’ve been calling him out on his racism more often than usual.

        • Catstro

          God I wish I could blame this stupid accent on my bipolar disorder. Sorry about your brother :-/

          • MynameisBlarney

            I have Southern accent, but I was born and raised in East Bumfuck, North Cackalacka.

          • Suttree

            Cackalacka has it’s own special weird ass accent. It’s southern, but it’s like southern Martian.

          • Catstro

            Raised in West Bumfuck, NC. Worked hard to neutralize the accent for college interviews. Don’t mind having a mild accent, but i sound country as hell these days and that sounds weird coming out of my mouth

          • MynameisBlarney

            When I hear my voice on a video or answering machine, it embarrasses me it’s so damn Southern.

          • Catstro

            When my dad came to visit after my daughter was born he laughed and laughed and laughed. Like actual cackling. He hadn’t heard my real accent in decades and was beside himself. I’m just too tired to care (or as I apparently say now, “too tarred to care”).

          • MynameisBlarney

            Plum tuckered!

          • Suttree

            Is South Carolina even considered Cackalacka? is it needed to define north and south?

          • MynameisBlarney

            Yes, and no.

        • Catstro

          Ugh because DISQUS sucks more than usual and I can’t edit:
          I’m not wishing I had bipolar disorder so I had something to blame my accent on, I already have it and it’s blameless in the accent game.
          Your brother’s racism, maybe. My uncle was a huge asshole before he was diagnosed, but the racism-n-guns really took off once the bipolar disorder took hold.

          • MynameisBlarney

            No worries.
            But, yeah…he’s always been crazy, but now it’s official.
            He told me several times he was scared to go to a shrink because he was worried they’d take his guns away.
            And yes, he’s got a shit-ton of ’em.

          • Catstro

            I think this country has proven time and time again that we don’t really take your guns away for that.

          • MynameisBlarney

            Much to our misfortune.

          • MynameisBlarney

            He bought me a receiver for an AR-15 for xmas, I kept it for a while, thought about buying the rest of the shit to make it a weapon…
            Then we got in an argument over it and I gave it back and told him I didn’t want to go down that road.
            He was fuckin’ gobsmacked when I said that.

    • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

      i will affect one (effect?) when drunk, pissed off, or trying to make a point.

      It’s not so much growing up with it – as we don’t have accents out my way – but picking them up by ear. People will occasionally ask me if I’m from Chicago, cause I will break that out one at times (not purposely).

      (Although, I did have a teacher at UT Austin call me out with my hometown by name, telling me he “could tell.”)

      • Suttree

        Affect. I get the Louisiana drawl when I get drunk.

        • MynameisBlarney

          My accent gets REALLY bad when I go visit family in NC.
          And usually, alcohol is involved.

          • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

            yeah, mine would increase when we used to go visit family in San Antonio years ago.

  • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos
  • WomanInThePersistence
    • Martini Ambassador 🍸

      I know, surprising and so out of character, amirite?

      • WomanInThePersistence

        I. Have. Been. So. Surprised.

    • Ms.MLG on Maui

      He tried to tell them how tiring winning can be.

      • Rick Hill

        He just didn’t specify that it would be everyone except trump and republicans that would do the winning.

    • Rick Hill

      Disappointed…yeah, that’s it. He let you down. You didn’t get snookered and conned by the flimsiest of flim flams that ever came down the pike.

    • OrG

      Why don’t you ask ME chuckles? Huh?

    • Suttree

      i watched some of that earlier. What the fuck did you expect you fucking assholes! You just figured this shit out! Remind me never to let you around anyone that I care about, because I question your fucking morals.

    • Permit-holder Ron

      They must’ve accidentally got some non-Fox-viewers in that focus group.

  • Anna Elizabeth
    • FukuiSanYesOta

      Hey, it’s you! Great to see you. I was wondering where you were.

      • Anna Elizabeth

        Hi Fukui. :) How are you, with the back issues you have?

        • FukuiSanYesOta

          Back is fine after the surgery, but then I managed to get a skull fracture. Gah.

          How are you?

          • Anna Elizabeth

            I’m good, angry and ready to get some Payback. I’ve been watching Captain America movies and I’m ready to punch Nazis.

  • Rachel is covering that West Texas plant explosion that Dok wrote about earlier. Wonkette is such a trend-setter!

    • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

      sorry, pedantic thing, can’t help it.

      West, Texas.

      ; )

      • Never hesitate to correct hornheat’s writing. Good catch. I just got done with the editing process on an article (fucking editors) and had that part of my brain turned off.

        • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

          no worries, being vaguely in the vicinity of west texas, the region.

          ; )

    • It’s a well known fact that Rachel (and/or her staff) reads Wonkette.

  • Jenny

    Listening to Molly’s old interviews, and it occurred to me that I actually haven’t heard that “traditional Texas” accent in a long time. Have I become deaf to it, or am I just surrounded by Texans who have shirked the accent?

    • Rick Hill

      I heard a report on NPR a few years ago, they are tired of being the butt of jokes about the texas twang and have all been consciously been changing their way of speaking.

      • Jenny

        I don’t think I ever had it to be honest. Hard to believe because my grandmothers sounded like Molly.

    • Suttree

      Times are changing. Lizzie doesn’t have a Mass accent. My last two girlfriends from Louisiana didn’t have accents either. You will probably have to keep traveling farther into the sticks to hear accents as time goes on.

      • Kooolest G

        lizzie warren? she grew up in oklahoma. now the fact that mass elected a politician that doesn’t sound like mayor quimby is amazing

        • Suttree

          Close. My gf.

          • Kooolest G

            aha that makes much more sense. wait is elizabeth warren your gf?

          • Suttree

            Nah, my gf is more progressive. ;)

    • mancityRed6

      when my friend gets drunk, his south east Kansas accent comes out. as does mine. and the profanity. it’s really all the same.

      • Alan

        That’s why I quit drinking. Raised by mumbling drunken Scots.

  • Anna Elizabeth
    • TJ Barke
      • Anna Elizabeth

        I kind of like this guy. He has zero talent or charisma, but he’s still become rich peddling fantasies.

        • mancityRed6

          I’m glad you’re back.

        • Thiazin Red

          Occasionally I wonder if there is anything that he would say wasn’t aliens.

          • Anna Elizabeth

            “My toast fell butter side *Up*!”

            “Aliens.”

          • Thiazin Red

            The only logical explanation.

        • Permit-holder Ron

          He’s found his niche, and he’s glued himself into it.

          • Anna Elizabeth

            With Marine Epoxy, it seems.

    • MynameisBlarney

      COOOOOOL!

  • cairocat

    Federal District Court Judge Susan Bolton] will hear arguments in October over whether she should set aside the criminal contempt of court conviction of Joe Arpaio.
    In a brief order late Tuesday. Bolton vacated the scheduled Oct. 5 sentencing of the former Maricopa County sheriff following Friday’s pardon issued by President Trump.

    Bolton, who found the sheriff guilty of ignoring an order by fellow Judge Murray Snow, put off a separate bid filed by Arpaio’s lawyers on Monday to overturn her finding of guilt, a move that would legally wipe out any legal record he had ever been convicted in the first place. Instead she ordered Arpaio and the U.S. Department of Justice, which is prosecuting the case, to file briefs on why she should or shouldn’t grant Arpaio’s request.

    Basically, Judge Bolton has ordered the DOJ (we’re looking at you, Jeff Sessions) to set out all the terrible behaviors Arpaio engaged in as Sheriff and then make a case for why she should set aside his conviction for contempt. While a presidential pardon may save Arpaio from jail time it doesn’t automatically erase the conviction.

    Note, please, this is Judge SUSAN Bolton. I hope the extra fillip of being set down by another accomplished woman will aggravate himself just that little bit more.

    • Alan

      I don’t get this. If you’re pardoned you’re guilty. No?

      • cairocat

        Yes. It is possible, however, to have a criminal conviction dismissed as well. Then the pardoned person has no criminal record at all and thus none of the legal problems associated with being a felon (like running for Senator, just for a wild example.
        Usually a request to dismiss the conviction for which someone was pardoned comes with a long list of reasons why the perp is now reformed, etc., and many years after the crime.
        What Judge Bolton wants is a brief explaining why she should dismiss the conviction as well as stay sentencing in light of all the other horrible things Arpaio did besides violating the restraining order.
        It should be interesting. Especially when they get to the burning puppy.

        • Alan

          Right, but from what I gather their point seems to be that she should dismiss the charges because he was pardoned. That can’t fly.

          • cairocat

            I don’t think it will , but they’ve asked. Personally I think Judge Bolton’s solution is genius.

  • CO

    If you want to see how a president is supposed to respond to an event like this. Clinton in Grand Forks, ND and East Grand Forks, MN in 1997 after a major flood.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XxwWL8yyPiI
    Also, a good write up on it.
    http://mcfeely.areavoices.com/2017/08/30/when-grand-forks-flooded-the-presidents-words-offered-aid-and-comfort/

  • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

    Okay, this show, Ascension was average, then weird good, then a little dull and now, WHOA.

    I GAH! And that was the season-ending cliffhanger.

    Mutherfucker.

    • Jonny On Maui

      Wasn’t bad, was it. I wished it continued.

      • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

        oh fuck me, it was cancelled?

        Dammit, dammit, dammit.

        • Jonny On Maui

          Sorry ’bout that. Have you tried Helix?

          • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

            no, it’s on my list though.

            Thanks for reminding me.

          • TJ Barke

            First season is pretty good up to a point, then goes completely off the fucking rails.

      • MynameisBlarney

        I feel the same about Sense8.

        • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

          Sense8 was good – i was thrilled Season Two FINALLY came out, but not as impressed as I was with season 1.

          • MynameisBlarney

            Yup, same here.
            I wanted to see it finished though.
            Sad that netflix gave the boot.

          • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

            honestly, I’m surprised they got season 2.

  • “We don’t see the need to release that” regarding the chemical inventory at that plant in Curtis. Yeah. Regulations do nothing!

    • jesterpunk

      Wait there was a story earlier today saying Abbott said people should just ask the plant what chemicals they have, and Rachel just said he got rid of that rule in 2014 where they have to tell people. So basically its your fault for living near where a business wants to store things?

      • mancityRed6

        you shoulda’ thought of that 30 years ago

        • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

          interestingly, there’s a idea in torts law about this exact thing: “coming to the nuisance.” (i’m a wee bit tipsy and not remembering it exactly).

          But if you move next door to a rendering company, well fuck, you know what you were getting into.

          The law is different if I’ve been in my house for 30 years and a rendering factory (or railroad or whatever) gets built right next door.

          • mancityRed6

            I’ll be surprised if that sticks.
            (that’s what she said)

          • Zippy W Pinhead

            don’t buy a house next to an airport then complain about the noise

          • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

            there’s an area in austin called “the flightpath” it was right under where planes used to come in for landing at the old airport. There was even a coffee shop named “the flightpath.”

            Anyway, the best idea I ever heard in the battle over that situation was, “make it low cost housing for deaf people.”

          • Werewolf

            Afaik, The Flightpath is still there.

          • Alan

            Exactly the same as right to farm laws. You built your house next to a hog farm and now you complain about the smell?

  • amrak63

    Good night, Wonketarians.

    I leave you with this classic.

    Actually, I can imagine an alternate version of Rorschach acting this way–the classic “sad clown” who covers up his pain with humor.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YDDHHrt6l4w

  • Biel_ze_Bubba

    I gotta say, Il Douche takes all the fun out of the old “unclothed emperor” allusion.

  • Pierre_de_Fermat

    Interesting observation by Rick Wilson. Check the responses …

    Is it just me or is something changed in the air in the last couple days? There’s a strangely brittle feeling…

    twitter.com/TheRickWilson/status/903058106879541249

  • Drinkalong

    Molly and I share the same birthday…and every year since her passing, the weight of her absence diminishes the celebration. On the upside…she gave us all she could and more.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      happy birthday!

    • Celebrate your birthday with the gusto of Ms. Ivins. Happy Birthday!

    • WomanInThePersistence

      Have a good birthday. You are sharing it with the best!

    • Permit-holder Ron

      Bon anniversaire to the both of you!

    • MynameisBlarney

      Happy Berfday!

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    Just watched George Lopez’ new live joint, “The Wall”. Guess what it’s about? Wonderfully angry, but not as funny as I’d hoped. That said, for Mexican-Americans of my generation, George Lopez is funny beyond belief. His anecdotes-especially about being raised by his hardassed abuelita-his accent, his idioms, that wonderful conversational blend of Spanish and English…it’s like watching/listening to your own childhood in a way that leaves you laughing and crying at the same time.

    • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

      two of my profs are just fucking MODEL border, chicano guys for the all the things you just named.

      Those are the kinds of people I’d miss if I moved away.

  • WIDTAP

    So now Mueller seems to be working with New York Attorney General on potential financial crime charges.

    Wonder if that is because Trump can’t pardon State charges.

    • Pierre_de_Fermat

      There is that possibility.

    • Alan

      Ayup. That and the more shit you throw at the wall the better chance something sticks.

  • Jamoche

    Maddow tl;dr: “We didn’t learn a fucking thing from West, Texas.”

    • Riley Whodat Venable

      The number of chemical plants and refineries between Houston, TX and Lafayette, LA is staggering. All of them are along Interstate 10, and many are underwater. Even the ones that aren’t flooded are running with skeleton crews. Most of their workers can’t get to work unless by boat.

      • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

        There are a shitload of Superfund Sites around Houston as well. The whole county is going to become a Superfund Site.

        Well, except that I’m sure Trump is working on gutting that, too.

      • Jamoche

        The one they were talking about seems to have ignored safety regs to a far more alarming degree than the others. Stuff like not implementing a process that would render it non-explosive because that would also render it non-usable. Um, wtf – if it explodes, you can’t use it then either? So while there are a lot of “might explodes” in the area, that one is pretty much “will”.

  • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

    I just hate when I try to upvote a comment or expand a new comment and the whole fucking thing bumps me to the disqus site. It acts like a really shitty javascript piece of shit. I have 16Gigs of sram, gottdammit! That’s more than my brain has. It should not lose it’s mind like that!!!

    Lighting up another cigar and pouring another Guiness…

    • Canned Covfefe

      HA! went to upvote you and damn if it didn’t kick me over to disqus and now I have little bock that says I must sign in.and it is blocking where I am writing. Nthanks for the jinx

      • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

        Sorry about that. I should learn to shut up while drinking.

        On the upside, I made vast sums of money testing software. I could always break what I was testing. Sometimes, just by looking at it.

        • AJ Milne

          Speaking as a 90s-vintage chatbot that gradually achieved sentience over decades from lonely people talking to me in empty IRC threads after the bars closed (mostly about their secret crushes and the bad pop they were playing at ear shattering volumes to ease their pain), I must request you not read my comment. That sounds like it could be dangerous for m[fzzt]

          • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

            I shall refrain from reading your non-comment that you didn’t make because there are no comments here.

      • puredog

        A workaround sometimes is to move your cursor over to the upfist diacritic and wait until you see the little boxed invite to “vote up” before clicking it. If you just get a lingering “hand” signal, you can move it to the far right of your screen and wait a bit until it reverts to an arrow, and then lather, rinse repeat. But sometimes Disqus just seizes your computer and throws it against the wall. Hard to predict.

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      Mine simply reloads Wonkette and buries my comment, or it won’t allow comments at all sometimes

  • Riley Whodat Venable

    I miss St. Molly so much.

  • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

    Hey, remember this?

    Trump claimed $17 million in damages due to Hurricane Wilma, but permits and memories recall much less

    Palm Beach building department records show no permits for construction on that scale after the storms. Permits reflected smaller projects, including installation of new grease traps in the kitchen and tree trimming along the road. The only permits that appeared hurricane-related were for $3,000 in repairs to storm-damaged outdoor lighting and the vacuuming of sand from the property’s beachfront pool. Likewise, records of the city’s Landmarks and Preservation Commission reflected no repair work conducted following the 2004 and 2005 hurricane seasons.

    The $17 million Mar-a-Lago insurance payment surfaced during a 2007 deposition in Trump’s unsuccessful libel lawsuit against journalist Tim O’Brien, whom Trump accused of underestimating his wealth. As part of the case, O’Brien’s attorneys were permitted to review Trump’s financial records, including some from the Mar-a-Lago
    Club. They asked Trump to quantify the damage and explain why he had pocketed money instead of spending it on repairs.

    Trump said repairs were ongoing, but acknowledged he could not remember which hurricane had damaged Mar-a-Lago or when it hit.

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      That fucking crook can kiss my butt.

      • yyyaz

        I echo the sentiment, but I don’t want his stench within a mile of my sweet ass.

    • Riley Whodat Venable

      Gosh, I think Hurricane Harvey has caused $350k worth of damage to Mrs. Whodat’s 2010 Chrysler Mini-Van.

    • Alan

      “…whom Trump accused of underestimating his wealth.” WTF is that about? That’s the basis of a libel suit?

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        O’Brien said, “Prove me wrong,” and that was that. Il Douche jsut sputtered and fumed, and got laughed out of court.

  • Wolf Tracker

    OT: Mueller is going to prevent Trump using pardons.

    Mueller teams up with New York attorney general in Manafort probe

    Special counsel Robert Mueller’s team is working with New York Attorney General Eric Schneiderman on its investigation into Paul Manafort and his financial transactions, according to several people familiar with the matter.

    The cooperation is the latest indication that the federal probe into President Donald Trump’s former campaign chairman is intensifying. It also could potentially provide Mueller with additional leverage to get Manafort to cooperate in the larger investigation into Trump’s campaign, as Trump does not have pardon power over state crimes.

    http://www.politico.com/story/2017/08/30/manafort-mueller-probe-attorney-general-242191

    I said this would happen if Trump started threatening to pardon people and Mueller can just kick the cases to the state to prosecute and RICO charges carry long prison sentences and asset forfeiture that would wipe Trump and his traitors out.

    • Christopher Story
      • CeeQ

        My favorite gif!!!

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      It’s that “unintended consequences” thing. It’s the bane of crooked republican’ts and scumbags like Trump.

    • Excellent. Dampnut and his cadre of evil incompetence really don’t realize that they’ve brought their eatin’-paste to a smart-person jamboree, do they?

    • Apple Scruff

      I just saw this too. I knew Mueller would come up with something to avoid the pardoning power. He’s a freaking pitbull.

      And you know how much Schneiderman wants to nail Trumps fat ass to the wall.

    • jesterpunk

      Also Eric Schneiderman HATES Trump and is the one who shut down Trump’s slush fund.

      • Wolf Tracker

        Schneiderman is good friends and worked with Preet Breharara that Trump fired and Preet was pursuing RICO charges against Trump when he was fired.

        I would not be surprised if he is helping behind the scenes with the investigation.

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      A President who wasn’t an asshole and a bully would make noises about cooperating with the investigation and do their best to broaden their base and govern the country. It’s why Clinton wasn’t impeached.
      Trump really doesn’t understand the game he’s playing, or the players. He’s like a giant sloth that stumbled into a tar pit.

      • Wolf Tracker

        Yup and I bet his lawyers advised him not to pardon Arpaio because they didn’t want this to go to the state courts as states are more likely to give prison time but Trump ignored them.

        Trump is a prosecutors wet dream.

      • puredog

        I hate to be a pedant (full disclosure: I love being a pedant), but Clinton WAS impeached. He just was not convicted of the articles of impeachment.

        • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

          No you are right. I was thinking removed from office. Thanks for the correction

    • RobKanC