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Morning Wonketariat! Here’s some of the things we may be talking about today.

Mitch McConnell and Donald Trump aren’t on speaking terms after Trump called McConnell up and said mean potty words, and bitched about McConnell’s refusal to commit obstruction of justice in the Senate’s Trump-Russia investigation. SAD! [Morning Maddow]

Christopher Steele handed over his sources for THE DOSSIER to the Senate Judiciary Committee, and the head of Fusion GPS sat for NINE HOURS yesterday, spilling his guts about Trump-Russia, his reacharounds with Russian oligarchs, and the pee hookers.

A new PPP poll shows that a majority of Americans think Trump-Russia is a thing, Trump and/or his people did diddle the election, and that Trump should “You’re Fired” himself if coordination with Russia is proven. [Video]

Billionaires are finding out that they can’t just bypass the bureaucracy in Washington, and at least one of them may find himself on the wrong side of Johnny Law. [Morning Maddow]

As Trump grows unhinged and throws temper tantrums on Twitter, the military is stepping up to keep the status quo around the world, a move that is as refreshing as it is terrifying.

The NRA wants to kill all the cute woodland critters inside national parks, and Trump officials are gagging the National Park Service from speaking out against what the NRA calls the “Sportsmen’s Heritage and Recreational Enhancement Act.”

Prince Jared is heading back to the Middle East to make all the peaces for Israel, but HR McMaster has sent an NSC chaperone to make sure there’s no hanky panky.

North Carolina Republican Rep. Walter Jones seems to be only Republican speaking out against Trump’s new old war in Afghanistan.

At a rally in Phoenix last night Trump threatened to shut down the government over the Tortilla Curtain, blamed the media for racial violence in Charlottesville, attacked his own party, and suggested he would pardon former Sheriff Joe Arpaio. All in all, it was about what you’d expect from a man with “fragile” tattooed on his ego.

A mash-up of political fringe groups converged outside of Trump’s rally in Phoenix to protest, which culminated in a raucous display of people fighting the power, the power fighting the people.

A new Politico/Morning Consult poll has Trump with EVEN LOWER ratings this morning, showing a 39/56 percent approve/disapprove, a 5 point drop from last week. That’s bigly bad.

MORE charities are bailing on Mar-a-Lago fundraisers in an effort to distance themselves from a guy who trashes veterans/senators with brain cancer, cuddles up to Nazis, and stares at the sun.

Federal prosecutors amended a warrant to search a website that helped people protest the Inauguration; instead they’re focusing specifically on the 200 pissed off people who were arrested rather than the entirety of the site’s visitor.

Stoners are revolting against Roger Stone after he decided to stick to Trump in the wake of Charlottesville. As usual, Stone thinks George Soros is just killing his buzz.

Democrats are gearing up for presidential primary runs from Mike Pence, John Kasich and Nikki Haley now that it’s looking more and more likely Trump could be “You’re Fired.” Talk about left field!

A number of people have bailed out on the National Infrastructure Advisory Council a day before it was to hold its first meeting. I can’t imagine why!

According to federal officials, a crooked Texas cop was working with a Mexican drug cartel, and they were tipped off when he appeared in a music video for the song “6000 kilos” during a verse about crooked cops.

A Chicago alderman wants to ban self-driving cars because there’s nothing preventing a crazy, wild-eyed scientist from building a time traveling DeLorean to kill jobs.

A third video of dirty cops in Baltimore has surfaced after a cop “self-reported as a re-enactment of the seizure of evidence.” Jeez, you’d think these guys were auditioning for The Wire.

A wanna-be slumlord in NYC has been putting up murals of Nazis and Confederates inside and out of his apartment building. In Chicago we just have to deal with asbestos!

“Lazy anarchist” and political prankster @Sinon_Reborn tricked Breitbart’s Editor-in-Chief into professing his undying loyalty to President Bannon, and pledging to bring down Javanka.

The FCC is refusing to comply with a FOIA request to release 47,000 net neutrality complaints because it is literally too “burdensome” to have to go through all that paperwork.

Surprise! Science bozos are saying abstinence-only sex ed doesn’t work in a new study published in the Journal of Adolescent Health. Wrap it up, kids!

That “Blacks for Trump” sign guy who keeps popping up behind Trump at rallies is a former member of a crazy murder cult who goes by the the name “Michael the Black Man.”

An Asian-American ESPN announcer named Robert Lee was swapped out for safety reasons after the networked was scared that he might stoke fears and protests during a UVA sportsball game next month. THAT’S NOT HOW THIS WORKS!

In her new book, Hillary Clinton talks frankly about her perceived failures during the 2016 presidential campaign, and about how she kept her cool (“with clenched fists”) during that second debate when Trump stalked her across the stage.

And here’s your morning Nice Time! Baby goats!

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  • OutOfOrbit

    Same shit, just another day.

  • FYI: Late Night Wrap-Up was just Trevor Noah, so we just cut it. THANKS, OBAMA!

    • BadKitty904

      I’m surprised those guys can keep up with the unending stream of Trumpian/GOP bullshit…

      • Permit-holder Ron

        LOTS of writers.

        • BadKitty904

          Ahhh…

    • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

      An immigrant doing a job Americans won’t do anymore?

    • Duke

      Ya know, Obama was black, too. Still is from what I hear.

      • Msgr_MΩment

        Most Kenyans are.

        • Duke

          Yeah… but few Muslins. The confusion makes me angry.

  • Nounverb911
    • Bobathonic

      Coffee first, for a happy death.

    • “The entire world is full of people who haven’t killed themselves yet’, Al…

    • therblig

      Mother ran out of coffee today.

  • Nounverb911
  • Nounverb911

    Bet this guys happy he got fired now.
    https://twitter.com/Scaramucci/status/900172593042468864

    • Gayer Than Thou

      Is the Mooch going to go back to being a liberal Democrat again?

      • Crystalclear12

        His application has been denied.

  • coozledad

    Auden said of Moby Dick “It’s best understood as song”.

    This. Is. Song.
    https://thebaffler.com/latest/the-president-of-blank-sucking-nullity-roth

    • bupkus231

      Wunnerful!!!!

      It is not quite fair to say that Donald Trump lacks core beliefs, but to the extent that we can take apart these beliefs they amount to Give Donald Trump Your Money and Donald Trump Should Really Be on Television More. The only comprehensible throughline to his politics is that everything Trump says is something he’s said previously, with additional very’s and more-and-more’s appended over time; his worldview amounts to the sum of the dumb shit he saw on the cover of the New York Post in 1985, subjected to a few decades of rancid compounding interest and deteriorating mental aptitude. He watches a lot of cable news, but he struggles to follow even stories that have been custom built for people like him—old, uninformed, amorphously if deeply aggrieved.

      Can’t say I’ve seen a better description…

      Just read some more, and I just keep enjoying it more….

  • Nounverb911
  • Nounverb911
  • Saxo the Grammarian

    Off-topic, but this needs to be shared. I read a story (which I can’t find now, so no link) about an Asian-American doctor works an ER in Oregon. She sees quite of few white supremacists, some of who refuse to let her treat them. While this is sad and makes her think “what kind of psychology is at work here?”, she keeps her cool and offers them a choice:

    “I’ve been doing this for 15 years, and I am eminently qualified to treat your condition. You can let me treat you, or you can be treated by my intern, or you can leave.”

    Some leave and some have her intern treat them. But some of them relent and often apologize, because as the good doctor says,

    “It is hellishly difficult to keep up the hate when you’re face to face with someone.”

    As I often say, hate is luxury and a burden that no one can afford.

  • Nounverb911
    • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist
      • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

        PERIOD!

        • cmd resistor

          Also, too, I read that part way through many of them started wandering out, bored, apparently.

          • Sister Suffragette

            And no chairs — hard on the oldz.

    • Gayer Than Thou

      It’s so astonishing for a sitting President to come to an important state for his party and then trash one of his party’s Senators from that state. I can’t even wrap my head around it. I mean, I don’t care, in the sense that fuck all the Republicans, including most especially Arizona Republicans and Jeff Flake. But it is weird.

      • Kiri the Unicorn

        Yeah, it’s weird in the context of normal politics and normal presidents. It was a mistake for the GOP to think they could work with Trump.

    • JustPixelz (((Ω)))
    • cmd resistor

      Maybe it would be a packed house if one of those Tiny Houses.

    • Who’s the real flake

  • Trump sacrificed his “beautiful life” for you people and gave up his salary…

    Yet you still refuse to bow down and worship him!

    How many lies does he need to tell before you Believe in Him?

    How many rounds of golf must he play before you know He is Working to Relieve American Taxpayers of having Too Many Tax Dollars?

    https://media1.giphy.com/media/HWkZuvTJw95vi/200w.gif

    Fuck the Planet Trump makes me feel smrt

  • Permit-holder Ron

    Why is there a crew cutting down a perfectly healthy tree in our neighbour’s yard? I need to keep an eye on these guys – I worry that the municipality is going through one of its periodic ‘DOWN WITH TREES’ periods again.

    • BadKitty904

      Perhaps they’ll replace it with clean coal.

    • therblig

      we had to have ours cut down (in front) in order to replace our sewer line. seemed a shame until they started pulling the old broken clay pipes out and we could see where the roots had gotten in. can’t get a new one until fall, but in the meantime, tomato plants sprouted in the tree pit and just flowered last week. i’ll have to remove them before they grow tomatoes (i assume they’d be toxic), but in the meantime it’s an interesting example of accidental urban horticulture.

      • teele

        Out of curiosity, why do you think they would be toxic?

        • therblig

          city dirt (may contain lead), broken sewer line contamination underneath, walked dog contamination at street level. maybe not toxic, but not something i’d put on a salad.

          • teele

            The lead would be a concern, but the rest would not end up in the fruit. Too bad – fresh tomatoes off the plant, YUM.

  • Msgr_MΩment

    Trump And McConnell In Epic Bitchfight.

    BITCH LIBEL!!

    • Cousin Itt de La Résistance
      • Msgr_MΩment

        Also, too, if you girls could add some more flair, that would be great.

    • coozledad

      The tortoise and the hair.

      • Gayer Than Thou

        I forget which one wins in that fable.

        • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

          They both get nuked by North Korea.

          • Gayer Than Thou

            Boy, Aesop and/or the Bible (I never remember which) is kinda dark…

          • dlemex

            AOT,K

          • arglebargle

            they’re both Grimm

        • Msgr_MΩment

          The Hair declares victory, then says the grapes were sour anyway.

          • Gayer Than Thou

            Please come to the front desk to claim your prize.

      • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

        Melania: “Thank God you are so fast Donalt.”

    • OutOfOrbit

      cannut quite visualized McTurdle raising his voice with cuss werds

      • Oblios_Cap

        I would have thought he would retreat into his shell.

      • coozledad

        It’s easier for me to visualize him in a ballgag, suspended over a pit of coals.

        I just get that vibe from Elaine.

    • BadKitty904
  • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

    A wanna-be slumlord in NYC has been putting up murals of Nazis and Confederates inside and out of his apartment building.

    It’s Trump isn’t it. You just can’t say his name for legal reasons.

    • Persistent Demme

      But Trump is not a “wanna-be.”
      Or is he?

  • Oblios_Cap

    According to federal officials, a crooked Texas cop was working with a Mexican drug cartel, and they were tipped off when he appeared in a music video for the song “6000 kilos” during a verse about crooked cops.

    Well, he was pretty forthright about his crookedness, it appears.

    • Bobathonic

      Honestly on the take?

  • Good_Gawd_Yall

    Today is my grandbaby’s first birthday. I’m celebrating by not worrying about what Tinyfists von Babyhands is doing.

  • Oblios_Cap

    A new Politico/Morning Consult poll has Trump with EVEN LOWER ratings this morning, showing a 39/56 percent approve/disapprove, a 5 point drop from last week. That’s bigly bad.

    Low ratings! Sad!

    • AmazingProfessionalCrastinator

      Not low enough. Sadder.

    • Querolous

      Yet at 39% he is still higher than Congress.

      • Oblios_Cap

        That’s a mighty low bar.

  • Gayer Than Thou

    New drag name: Javanka.

    • Parakeetist

      Go for it!

    • Honestly, Bannonites in the WH were using it, I’ve been avoiding it.

      • Gayer Than Thou

        Worst theme party idea ever: Bannonite Drag Night.

    • From Russia With A Permit

      In the hood they call her Jivanka.

  • Nounverb911
    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      Oh, Lord, you are so Big.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      resisting Trump equates resisting “the hand of God.”

      Santa Maradona!
      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3CUnwPgopIk

      • coozledad

        Or The Black Hand. Whichever.

    • BadKitty904
      • What is that/

        • BadKitty904

          Those are Dementors, from the Harry Potter books. Dementors are wraith-like, evil creatures (considered one of the foulest to inhabit the world) employed by the British Ministry of Magic to guard of Azkaban Prison. Dementors feed upon human happiness, and thus cause horror and despair to anyone near them.

          • Right of course. I didn’t know we ever got to see inside the hoods though. Which movie?

            (I need to reread those – they are wonderful.)

          • BadKitty904

            Of that, I am not sure.

    • MynameisBlarney

      Yeah…about that…

      You can your theocratic bullshit and shove it right up your ass.

      Sweet pole-dancin christ, we got some stupid, evil assholes in this goddamned country.

      • YoBunnyBunny

        True story: my favorite wingnut was arguing that those Islamic countries are their sharia are just bad, bad, bad, no good, bad because “THEOCRACY!!!!!11!1”

        He then insisted that the U.S. of A is a Christian country, so we ought to have laws of the Judeo-Christian sort, okay?

    • coozledad

      Her shirt grew titties.

    • Permit-holder Ron
    • TheGrandWazoo2

      Affront to God? I’m taken aback.

      • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

        Needz moar sideboob.

    • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

      And like Trump, she’s been married 3 times.

      • From Russia With A Permit

        In fairness to her ex’s, I imagine her schtick gets old in a hurry.

    • Oblios_Cap

      Her God certainly seems to be an asshole.

    • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

      “We were not sent into this earth to fit in. We weren’t just sent here to be a part. We were sent here to take over.”

      • Nockular cavity

        So, Fundies are god’s alien invaders?

        OK, I’ll buy that.

    • Everrett Fanuelli

      Nice “Master Shake” cosplay outfit.

    • arglebargle

      One more reason to ignore that pesky deity, like I needed it.

    • PubOption

      God almighty.

    • Ellie

      Paula White: Charlatan and heretic. Yup. Right up 45’s alley.

    • Incoming Ham

      Since she is committed to prosperity gospel, she must be prospering from her statements. I doubt she would bother otherwise.

    • Nockular cavity

      Shorter, more accurate: “…Trump…is an affront to God.”

      Not to mention humanity, decency, ethics, etc, etc,etc.

    • Mr. Blobfish

      If anything, their support for Trump has fully exposed them as the frauds they are.

    • Querolous

      The God Emperor of Dumb.

  • MynameisBlarney
    • Permit-holder Ron

      What is there to say except, whoa if true?

      • Occupied Territory of Kavefish

        Also, too: “I’ll be in my bunk.”

      • laughingnome

        A while back I predicted he was out by Labor Day. Lots of wishful thinking in it but also saw what a disaster he was for the GOP from the start of his term. The GOP cannot afford to go down with his ship and will abandon him and Mueller will come out with indictments – Trump will jump.

    • I saw this tweet, but…

      • MynameisBlarney

        *fingers crossed*

        One can only hope.

  • Bill D. Burger

    WHEN is Trump going to lay out that BEAUTIFUL health care plan he talked about during the campaign ___ the one where insurance costs goes down, benefits are far better, and more people are covered for less money?

    WHERE IS IT? WHAT IS HE WAITING FOR?! He told us that only HE could do it… so… WHERE IS IT?

    Oh…He’s saying the turtle ate it! Got it!

  • chortlingdingo

    Excited puppers and goats?! You spoil us!

  • OutOfOrbit

    99% of youth today: ambition with no opportunities

    –me

    • TundraGrifter

      “No opportunities?” Huh?

    • From Russia With A Permit

      Some new ones opening up in Afghanistan!

  • memzilla Ω
  • Bill D. Burger

    When discussing crowd size, I always try to post this to Trump’s and the Righties’ sites.
    Seems to annoy em’!

    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DH5ihR-V0AAte_u.jpg

  • Nounverb911
    • Crystalclear12

      They are the shade experts.

    • Oblios_Cap

      It should be “Asshole”.

      • coozledad

        Death Rattle

  • ariel_gee_398

    How long until Trump fires Elaine Chao?

    • Parakeetist

      Couple minutes.

    • laughingnome

      Chao baby!

    • therblig

      well, she didn’t keep the focus on infrastructure by letting the msm focus on nazis.

    • Mr. Blobfish

      Do you think he even remembers she’s married to the turtle?

      • ariel_gee_398

        I think the part of his brain devoted to scorekeeping and vendettas is probably the only bit still largely functional.

        • AmazingProfessionalCrastinator

          There were other functional parts before now?

  • Wolf Tracker

    I think Trump is going to find out the turtle fights dirty. Mitch is in charge of all Senate committees including the judiciary committee investigating Trump and if he tried to pressure Mitch on the investigation that is anther obstruction of justice charge over seen by that committee.

    Trump must have not watched that old cartoon because the turtle always beats the hair in the end.

    • BadKitty904

      Mitch could gut the Traitor, salt him, and hang him out to dry before he could blink.

    • Gayer Than Thou

      At some point, I have to believe, Trump will have offended enough Republicans with enough power that they will take him down, or at least do nothing as he falls. But it is fascinating to observe how much he can trash them before they’ll do it.

      • OutOfOrbit

        gopers can bear much offense as long as the money continues flowing in their direction

        • Occupied Territory of Kavefish

          GOP-vertisement: “Too much blood on that money? Someone used it to wipe their ass before handing it over to you? No Problem! Dirty money always comes clean after it’s laundered! Call Wee Wash-U to solve all your dirty money problems!”

      • Wolf Tracker

        They have to do it while keeping their hands clean and making it look like they had no choice. I think they will wait for the Mueller report and if it shows a significant crime was committed they will have to act.

        • YoBunnyBunny

          If they were sneaky, they can get the impeachment ball rolling and blame the Dems… They blame the Dems for everything else anyways.

          • Wolf Tracker

            They probably will blame the Dems and Dems will take credit for it so it works out.

        • Gayer Than Thou

          Which, honestly? I’m OK with if it can happen before Twitler triggers a nuclear war abroad and a race war at home. Because if the evidence is bad enough that even Republican leaders can plausibly say they had no choice but to act, that will satisfy some – though obviously not all – of his supporters. The resulting schism between Republicans who are convinced and those who are not could be a helpful advantage in 2018 and 2020. Or at least I hope.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        If they still hold a shred of hope for turning this country into a 1%er oligarchy, they won’t turn against Trump.

  • Crystalclear12

    Golf clap for McConnell.
    He’ll get more when he finds the other ball and actually does something.

  • MynameisBlarney

    “Harvard study, “MSM acted as turmp’s mouthpiece/Clinton’s foe”

    https://www.democraticunderground.com/10029504327

    http://i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/210/119/9b3.png

    • Vincent Ricola

      I’m shocked.

  • Oblios_Cap

    The NRA wants to kill all the cute woodland critters inside national parks, and Trump officials are gagging the National Park Service from speaking out against what the NRA calls the “Sportsmen’s Heritage and Recreational Enhancement Act.”

    That’s the GOP way – lie and stifle discussion about the shit they’re always pulling. That and naming bills exactly the opposite of what they are.

    • BadKitty904

      And will keep doing as long as We the People let them control Congress.

    • Everrett Fanuelli

      “Freedom for Freedom Liberty Reconciiliation Act”

    • From Russia With A Permit

      No doubt NRA types would love to shoot bears and wolves and bison and moose in Yellowstone. They’re not quite tame, but they don’t run from people.

    • MynameisBlarney

      The GOP won’t rest until every tree has been cut, every animal slaughtered, every body of water poisoned and the entire landscape from sea to sea paved and developed.

      • chortlingdingo

        They think they’re going to be raptured away, so why would they give a shit about the future of this planet?

        • MynameisBlarney

          Yup.
          That is EXACTLY it.

        • bupkus231

          It’s either that, or some variation on “God is so powerful/Man us so insignificant” that the planet will always be okay….

          [ Never mind that it might only be inhabitable by cockroaches – ’cause they’re God[‘s creatures, too! ]

          • chortlingdingo

            Also, too, “God gave man dominion over earth” so we can do whatever we want to it. I bet money plays a hand in this somewhere too.

      • Ghenghis McCann

        Where will Trump play golf, when that happens?

    • Incoming Ham

      As long as we have stupid mother fuckers who vote straight ticket without learning anything about what the politicians want and stand for just because there is an R next to the button this will continue.

      People are so lazy it will continue forever.

      • bupkus231

        In reaction, I have vowed to never vote for anyone associated with the GOP – does that make me a “straight ticket” voter, too?

        • Incoming Ham

          Yep, as am I.

  • memzilla Ω
  • BadKitty904

    You know who didn’t hold a cult rally in Arizona last night? Robert Mueller.

    • Covfefe’s Evil Twin

      Thank you. I needed that.

      • BadKitty904

        We all do.

  • Randy Riddle

    /snark off

    I used to get up in the morning, looking forward to checking social media, wondering what wonderful things my friends were up to.

    Now, I wake up and wonder if peaceful liberal protestors have been killed by neo-fascists at a Trump rally and if one of my friends might have been there.

  • Parakeetist

    This is the weirdest August ever.

    • TundraGrifter

      I’d like to blame the Eclipse but I just can’t.

    • Pierre_de_Fermat

      Every month. Since January 2017.

  • Bozilingus

    “Sportsmen’s Heritage and Recreational Enhancement Act.”
    SHAREA
    So the NRA supports SHAREA law.

    • Oblios_Cap

      MUSLINS!

      • MynameisBlarney

        SATIN WORSHIPERS!

        • Lorirwright

          Help106g

          Google is paying 97$ per hour! work for few hours and have longer with friends & family!
          On tuesday I got a Smart new Land Rover Range Rover from having earned $8752 this last four weeks.. Its the most-financialy rewarding I’ve had.. It sounds unbelievable but you wont forgive yourself if you don’t check it
          !ao236:
          ➽➽
          ➽➽;➽➽ http://GoogleFinancialJobs526CashHomeHelp/GetPay$97/Hour ★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★:::::!ao236l..,…..

    • Bobathonic

      DAMMIT! Always, ALWAYS scroll down. My bad.

      • Bozilingus

        Very rare that I make a comment first that others are making.

    • TheGrandWazoo2

      gmta

  • Vincent Ricola

    The “Sportsmen’s Heritage and Recreational Enhancement Act” sounds like something that should only be said aloud when copious banjos are playing in the background.

    And I wish Hillary Clinton would’ve pulled out a rape whistle and blew it repeatedly at that creepy pussygrabber that was hovering over her on the debate stage.

    • Bobathonic

      It’s pronounced “SHARIA”.

    • TheGrandWazoo2

      Sportsmen’s Heritage and Recreational Enhancement Act

      SHAREA law?

    • OutOfOrbit

      what she really should-a done: paused, turned to him & said, “Don’t even think about it, mister.” then back to her speach

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    What says “nature lover” and “sportsman” more than shooting wolf pups and bear cubs in their dens? These people are fucking psychopaths.

    • ariel_gee_398

      Nature is at its most lovable when it’s dead, stuffed, and hung on their walls. Clearly.

    • The truly pathetic thing about this (from history) is that the people who originally pushed for the Park Service to regulate hunting and fishing in national parks and wildlife preserves were … hunting and fishing groups.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        Who understand that “hunting” and “extermination” are two different things.

    • VirginiaWackelpudding

      The god awful is so strong there isn’t a snark capable of countering it. Why would anyone want to kill bear cubs or wolf pups? You gonna eat ’em? Does it make you feel good or brave or powerful? This isn’t how humans should act or think. It’s gross.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        They actually believe that killing alpha predators will allow for greater numbers of docile ruminants like moose and elk to slaughter. It’s not only grotesquely inhumane, it’s really bad, discredited science.

        • guppy06

          “Alpha predators?” Let them enlist, then, and go after the Most Dangerous Game…

    • Persistent Demme

      I can’t even.

  • Michael R

    Posting happy video I made of our river time last night ,
    because it can’t be bad news all day every day
    ( look for a dragonfly to make an appearance )

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/e0f7a521adbd7e97590dfe7ecac4ffdf6883d1efe33e88e3d3b400120903b043.gif

  • Msgr_MΩment

    Has Merriam Webster declared whether residents of Phoenix are indeed called Phoenicians?

    • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

      It’s Greek to me.

      • JohnBull

        Some of those neighborhoods in south Phoenix seem very Spartan.

        • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

          The Spartan armies were well-oiled.

          • Msgr_MΩment

            And the Two Corinthians are quite leathery.

      • Msgr_MΩment

        Sun City delenda est!

    • arglebargle

      After that rally let’s hope the protestors can rise above the asses.

  • Gee, Your Hair Smells Horrific

    “OMG TRUMP WAS . . . HE SEEMED UNHINGED LAST NIGHT.”
    I know the msm got beat up enough last night, but didn’t you fuckers already know this?

    • Vincent Ricola

      It’s like saying “I woke up this morning and starting breathing air.”

    • Bill D. Burger

      His lips moved = He lied.

    • BadKitty904

      “SEEMED”?

    • cmd resistor

      They forgot because he was able to read that speech on MOnday without visibly drooling.

  • Ellie

    We don’t have to let the NRA kill all the woodland creatures. We can now go back to burying them in plastic water bottles.

    • VirginiaWackelpudding

      Bye bye trout streams.

  • Bill D. Burger
  • Mr. Blobfish

    Dumb guy talks to dumb people.

  • BadKitty904
  • MynameisBlarney
    • Mr. Blobfish

      We all have a friend like that.

    • Serai 1

      “What? WHAT? Dude, it’s NOT THAT FUNNY. Fuck, leave me alone, would you??”

      • guppy06

        “Go home, you’re drunk.”

    • Occupied Territory of Kavefish

      ♫ ♫“…A lemon in a bag played the Tiger Rag…” ♫ ♫

    • Persistent Demme

      This totally reminds me of my grand-dog, Ina.
      She is 11 mos. old, and keeps trying to get my dogs to play with her.
      My guys are 9 and 15 years old.
      They are SO not tempted by her silly puppy games (no matter what she tries).

  • goonemeritus

    I’m sadden by those goats using there majority and their elevated position to taunt that poor puppy.

    • Mr. Blobfish

      Puppy just want to play.

    • thewalkindude

      But they had permits!

  • La forza del resistino

    Donald says O.K. Mitch, anytime, anywhere, but no hair pulling

    • ariel_gee_398

      Ivana’s testimony about Trump beating her made clear he has no problem with hair pulling.

      • Bobathonic

        Aw, what’s a little sexual assault compared to a legal $ettlement?

      • laughingnome

        Donald is going to throw Mitch down and defile him?

        • guppy06

          Mitch has been defiling himself for years now.

  • Bozilingus

    Tiffany Trump Caught Funneling $117,000 Of Taxpayer Money For Personal Vacation Fund
    http://bipartisanreport.com/2017/08/22/tiffany-trump-caught-funneling-117000-of-taxpayer-money-for-personal-vacation-fund/

    • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

      Was it for breakfast?

    • Amelia Resists and Persists

      Goddamnit, Tiffany, I thought you were staying out of it. But I guess even the Trump the other Trumps don’t care about is still a fucking Trump.

    • arglebargle

      The rotten apple doesn’t crawl far from under the rock.

    • AmazingProfessionalCrastinator

      To be fair, the money was for car rentals for her & mom and the SS in Italy, and neither she nor any of her relatives pocketed any of that moolah.

  • BigCSouthside

    The one trend I like recently is more and more people are vocalizing concerns that there is something wrong with this man.

    He’s becoming more dangerous every day

    • Bill D. Burger

      Even Don Lemon at CNN ___ after the Trumpaloser’ lying festival in Phoenix, Lemon turned to the cameras and said, “Well, that confirms it. We have a lunatic in charge.”

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        Yeah…what was your first fucking clue, genius?

    • guppy06

      About 12 months too late.

      • bupkus231

        About 40 years too late ( even if he wasn’t running for President back then )

  • Mr. Blobfish

    The sun is shining. The cardinals are chipping away. The Tourettes lady is screaming. Gonna be a beautiful day.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      A profanity-laced exchange? This is the morning she finally became Presinential.

      • Mr. Blobfish

        It’s usually just unintelligible argle bargle. There’s an old folks home behind us. She let’s out a blast every 10 minutes or so. It was unnerving when we first moved in. Now, it’s as natural as the cicadas and helicopters. She’s writing a book about her experience.

        • Msgr_MΩment

          I would totally buy a book entitled Fuck This Goddamn Shit and the Horse You Oppressed by Riding in on it.

          I shouldn’t. I hope she finds peace. And the rest of us feckless bastards as well.

          • Occupied Territory of Kavefish

            (…has difficulty upvoting post because mouse careens across screen while giggling…)

    • guppy06

      Tell them to GTFO of your yard!

      http://blogs.reuters.com/faithworld/files/2007/11/cardinals-1.jpg

      Oh, and I somehow doubt your wife appreciates being referred to that way.

  • Wolf Tracker

    So Steele turned over all his sources for the dossier and Fusion GPS testified for 9 hours.

    How come that testimony wasn’t made public and he said he wanted the testimony record to be public?

    Pee pee tapes coming soon!

    • Msgr_MΩment

      And the Emmy for Best Supporting Highly Visible Minority in a Fascist Production goes to….

    • Wolf Tracker

      Psycho cultist that killed a guy and thinks the government is a Cherokee conspiracy.

      Exactly who you would expect to be a Trump follower!

    • elviouslyqueer

      Dude put the “batshit” in “batshit insane.”

    • There is a photo caption further down on that page:

      “Pro-trump demonstrators square off with peace activists.”

      From the logical conclusion of that statement – pro-trump = anti-peace.

  • WeaselPoo

    I’ve always suspected abstinence programs to be a lot of purity balls.

  • JMP

    It’s nice to again see Dumb Donald’s idiocy and ego protect us from his evil, as he works to undermine his own party for not slavishly obeying him in absolute servility and thereby help the forces of good to possibly take power back in 2018 because he can’t handle the reality where a President is not dictator and has to actually compromise to get things done.

    • Duke

      And he’s supposed to do work even when he wants to play golf, watch TV of have a second scoop of ice cream.

  • OK. Trump lied AGAIN when he said Phoenix was “packed”
    https://twitter.com/davecatanese/status/900165684226703360

    Space the final authentic frontier gibberish

    • WaPo had a story late this AM about people leaving the rally early.

      • TJ Barke

        It’s still pretty early this AM over here on the left coast.

    • Bill D. Burger

      Trumpanzees only posted pics from the back of the room straight forward, where even the barriers were moved to herd the crowd in tighter and seemingly packed to SRO.

    • Michael R

      People should be discussing what the fucking point of this is when he isn’t accomplishing anything . What a waste of a presidency .

      • Jeffery Campbell

        It was just another Reich rally. Why do you hate America?

  • miss_grundy

    What a sweet doggie in that video! Does baby goat think he is a bucking bronco? And I guess the condo guy doesn’t realize that racists would not consider him white enough to be a member of their club. Too many racists live in Queens and Long Island!

    • Persistent Demme

      The puppy doesn’t seem to speak “goat.”
      And the goat doesn’t seem to speak “dog.”
      But I love how they get along anyways.

  • Bill D. Burger

    Ah social media is a glorious place. You see something, it looks cool, and so you retweet it.
    And sometimes that gets you into trouble.

    Such was the case Tuesday night, when Tennessee Republicans and other supporters of President Donald Trump started sharing an image of what was purportedly a massive crowd gathered in the streets of Phoenix ahead of his speech.

    Only problem? The photo is actually an aerial shot from the 2016 Cleveland Cavaliers parade.

    And frankly, anyone who is at all familiar with Phoenix should have known better. It’s a desert people.

    https://www.gannett-cdn.com/-mm-/5d407ac4b899d8409f25b90f8b4b92a3f2f03ccd/c=0-19-566-445&r=x404&c=534×401/local/-/media/2017/08/22/Phoenix/Phoenix/636390297567645456-Capture.jpg

    https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/local/phoenix/2017/08/22/trump-phoenix-rally-fake-photo-cleveland/592199001/

    • NastyBossetti

      Even if there were a massive crowd gathered in the streets prior to his speech, I’d think they were there to protest.

    • theblackdog

      That’s what I was saying, that the trees there are a dead giveaway it’s not Phoenix.

  • Mr. Blobfish

    Roger Stone better watch it or he may get assassinated again.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      That does it. No more Red Witches!!

  • MynameisBlarney

    This is a whole other level, y’all.

    http://i.imgur.com/WrOcMob.png

    • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

      Please tell me she’s also pregnant.

    • Occupied Territory of Kavefish

      Does “also too listening to Lucinda Williams on iPhone” raise or lower her hipster standing?

    • Carpe Vagenda

      This is a thing. I had no idea. I just bought the first four Foxfire books for the kid because she wanted to learn traditional crafts and all the resources she could find online were either preppers or douches.

      • MynameisBlarney

        My dad used to have the foxfire books.
        They are sooooo cool.

        • Carpe Vagenda

          they are. My mom had them. I love the voices of the Appalachian folks they interviewed. They remind me of my nonna, whose mountain farm was in Italy.

      • grindstone

        I think I learned to read on the Foxfire books. Our volume 1 was eventually read to death.

    • guppy06

      Is she crafting artisanal turn signals for the unfortunate Bimmers that don’t have any (AOT,K)?

    • That’s hysterical.

      I really want it to be performance art sponsored by BMW.

  • BadKitty904

    Despite its betrayal by Trump, Congress, and the NRA – one of Congress’ owners – the National Park Service, perhaps the most popular branch of the federal government, continues to do its job…

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/dac6b2e8571e0db1e6a91ebb8fb2c04db75461fb3bcadb2d3adfaff4da9f0adb.jpg

    • Msgr_MΩment

      YOU just try dusting an eagle without getting your face clawed off!!

      • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

        Ever try washing a cat?

        • thank-you-thing
          • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

            Thank you, Thing!

        • You should ice that burn

          Tue story: I was doing some interior paint for a customer years ago when their long haired cat decided to walk into the paint roller pan, I was expecting the cat to run all over the house getting paint everywhere but it calmly waded through the blue latex and let me pick it up and carry it to the sink. If you’ve ever cleaned a rough nap paint roller you have some idea of how much water it took to rinse all of the paint out of that cat’s belly and legs. He didn’t mind at all, and seemed to be enjoying it. Later, when the owner came home I told her my tale of woe and she laughed and said that that cat loves baths.

          • Moar Wordz

            Clearly, she was flirting w/you…I’ll just stroll over to the pan and sit in it.
            If she was for real a troublemaker she would’ve streaked thru the fucking house

          • You should ice that burn

            That was what I feared most when I looked down and saw him in the pan.

    • Bill D. Burger

      Cleaning bald eagles is a must in order to Make Murrica’ Great Agin’!

      • BosGrl

        Drumpf likes eagles that haven’t lost all their hair.

    • Michael R
      • Ghenghis McCann

        The eagle in the first picture did look familiar.

    • Ωbjectifier

      “A venturesome minority will always be eager to set off in their own, and no obstacles should be placed in their path; let time take risks, for Godsake, let them get lost, sunburnt, stranded, drowned, eaten by bears, buried alive under avalanches–that is the right and privilege of any free American. But the rest, the majority, most of them new to the out-of-doors, will need and welcome assistance, instruction and guidance. Many will not know how to saddle a horse, read a topographical map, follow a trail over slickrock, memorize landmarks, build a fire in rain, treat snakebite, rappel down a cliff, glissade down a glacier, read a compass, find water under sand, load a burro, splint a broken bone, bury a body, patch a rubber boat, portage a waterfall, survive a blizzard, avoid lightning, cook a porcupine comfort a girl during a thunderstorm, predict the weather, dodge falling rock, climb out of a box canyon, or pour piss out of a boot. Park rangers know these things, or should know them, or used to know them and can relearn them; they will be needed.”

      – Ed Abbey

      • BadKitty904

        Amen.

    • You should ice that burn

      Wingdex?

  • Ghenghis McCann

    Email prank ‘tricks’ Breitbart editors

    A British rapscallion had them believing he was Steve Bannon. http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/technology-41023219

    • Bill D. Burger

      And the responses from the duped Deadbarter were ___ fabulous! Especially good reading were the comments on Jared and Ivanka.

      • Carpe Vagenda

        Wonder what happens when Trump sees someone with WH credentials was chomping at the bit to say his daughter was cheating on her husband?

    • Vincent Ricola

      … were sent from “steven.bannon@usa.com”.

      L.O.L.O.L.O.L

      • Moar Wordz

        No ! Fucking usa.com ? You’re joking, right ?

  • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

    Prince Jared gets fucked-off in Egypt.

    Egypt’s top diplomat, Sameh Shoukry, was to meet with Kushner and the U.S. delegation, but a modified version of the minister’s schedule showed the meeting had been called off, shortly after the Americans landed in Cairo.

    http://talkingpointsmemo.com/news/kushner-snubbed-egypt-aid-delay

    • From Russia With A Permit

      Why fucking bother?

      • It’s because REXXIE’s withholding $290M in aid for some reason.

        Probably to fuck with prince Jared.

  • Carpe Vagenda

    Do you think if Hillary had told him to back off, the press pool would have been so impressed by her rebuke of abusive misogyny that they would have skipped the class trip to the titty bar with Jason and AJ afterwards?

    • Michael R
    • Bill D. Burger

      I always thought their strategy was in error when Trump would constantly interrupt her. “No puppet. No puppet. YOU’RE the puppet.” (*In one debate he interrupted her or made remarks during her responses 43 times. She didn’t interrupt him at all.)

      She ignored him. She should have turned and treated him like the bullying manbaby he is: “Control yourself Donald. TRY to behave like an adult and not a whining child. I didn’t interrupt you, try, if it’s possible, to control yourself and extend to me the same courtesy.”
      ~bam~

      • Carpe Vagenda

        and the story would have been “Hillary thinks she’s the boss of you” because that’s how the press would have covered it.

        • Bill D. Burger

          Oh that was going to be much the MSM and online Rightie sites’ take no matter what.
          Ignoring him was a losing strategy.

          • Carpe Vagenda

            What she did do was a winner with people who watched the debate. That’s why Comey had to step in.

      • From Russia With A Permit

        The real answer is that in a televised and moderated debate, only the person with the floor should have a hot mic.

        • 🛶🗣️ Mr Canoehead 🛶🗣️

          And the moderator should, you know, moderate.

          • From Russia With A Permit

            Like this: “Shut the fuck up Donald, you 70 year old brat!”

          • bupkus231

            But then, the rightwing would accuse them of {gasp} “moderating”!

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      “What says “family values” more than conceiving a child in the back seat of a cab after a night at a strip club?

    • People were saying “Yes” on Stephanie Rhule’s show, but I highly doubt it.

      • Carpe Vagenda

        Yeah, me too, but mostly because the press pool took a class trip to a titty bar with Jason and AJ afterwards.

    • theblackdog

      Nooooooope. Several folks I follow on Twitter suggested that the media would have talked about how “Hysterical” and “Unhinged” Hillary is and that if she can’t handle Trump standing behind her, how was she going to handle dealing with Putin and Kim Jong Un?

    • NastyBossetti

      Haha no they would’ve taken out their book of code words for women who don’t know their place and used those to describe her.

  • TheGrandWazoo2

    I wonder is there is an intrepid journalist out there compiling a department by department list of all the things Trump people are fucking over that don’t make the news and who benefits?

    Pulitzer my finger.

    • I’ve been trying.

      • Bozilingus

        Did you watch Rachel’s bit last night about Carl Icahn?

    • bupkus231

      Well, in the last couple of weeks, we’ve had “Vanity Fair” talking about how they’re fucking the DoE and “New York” talking about how they’re fucking HUD – I’m sure if we wait long enough ( if we’re alive long enough, I mean ), we’ll get stories from all sorts of publications about how Rump and the GOP went about destroying the American government – but I suspect no one’s gonna “compile” a digest…

      Oops – my mistake. No one except Dominic…

      • Carpe Vagenda

        Well, that’s nice. New York can file it next to their Trump is bad, but Hillary’s so icky coverage from before the election, their bro-slurping afterwards, and Chait’s stirring defense of weapon-toting shitlords exercising their right to beat up eighteen year olds for the greater glory of the Mercers.

    • ariel_gee_398

      You really need subject matter specialists for each department, I think. Parsing through rules and regulations is tedious and difficult even if you’re familiar with them. But maybe Soros could fund the Journal of Domestic Fuckery and hire the people necessary to do so and put it all under one publication.

  • geoffalnutt

    McConnell and Trump = The Turdle And The Hair.

    • Bill D. Burger
      • From Russia With A Permit

        Snark, it would appear, travels at the speed of light!

        • MynameisBlarney

          Oh no, Snark is FTL.

          • Jeffery Campbell

            And twice as bright!

          • MynameisBlarney

            Aye.

      • TheGrandWazoo2

        slower, s-l-o-w-e-r, s–l–o–w–e–r

        Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh

        • From Russia With A Permit

          I tried to give you a reach around but nothing was found.

  • Vagenda and Pee-ara

    Nikki Haley gearing up for a presidential run? My, that is surprising.

    • bupkus231

      Nikki is the Bobby Jindal of South Ca….. Uh, wait. Maybe that’s not a good comparison.

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        Her ideas are as bad and dangerous as any of the other idiot Republicans, but she manages to seem sane. She really scares me, as I think she would be an excellent presidential candidate, and far more effective at passing the GOP’s loathsome agenda, if she ever wins. I’m hoping Trump will end up burning the GOP down by splitting the party in two.

    • Bill D. Burger

      I only live for the day when I see Nikki Haley and, when she speaks, see her teeth move apart. Her lips move; her teeth remain together.
      Freaky.

      https://www.fitsnews.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/01/haley-teeth.jpg

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        Haley’s an incredible liar, so that may have something to do with it.

        She fired a woman (Darla Moore) off the University of South Carolina’s board. Moore had given $200 million to USC, the largest gift in state history. The university named their business school after Moore. After Haley was elected, she fired Moore off of the board, so that she could give the position to someone who had given her campaign $5000*. After Haley caught major flak for doing something so stupid, she claimed it was because Moore wouldn’t return her calls or answer her emails. A newspaper did an FOIA and found out that Haley had never attempted to call or email Moore. A lesser politician would have been crushed after being caught in such a blatant lie.

        I knew when she took a job with Trump, her presidential run was starting. She’s the only Republican that I fear.

        *Haley is not only a whore, she’s a cheap whore

      • Blackest Noobs

        but she also does that speaking from the side of the mouth thing…did all the ladies in power attend some seminar that told them to show the guys you mean business, speak from the side of your mouth.

        what’s up with that?

        and Nikki isn’t the only one that does this. wait are they all stroke victims?

      • From Russia With A Permit

        Long lost sister of Germany’s national football team coach.

        http://www.dw.com/image/17619511_303.jpg

  • theblackdog

    So when does the FAKE NEWS screaming start about the abstinence only doesn’t work study?

    • Stulexington

      About 2 centuries ago.

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      Right after the report that far more violent crimes are associated with alcohol than with marijuana and the one that tells you that it doesn’t matter anyway, because unless you are engaged in criminal activity, you are unlikely to be the victim of a violent crime.

    • Wuulf

      Abstinence only worked great for Palin’s daughter. She only has two out of wedlock children. Imagine how many she’d have if she had properly used birth control.

    • jesterpunk

      It worked for the abstinence spokesperson Bristol Palin right?

      https://www.vanityfair.com/news/2015/06/bristol-palin-pregnant

  • Blackest Noobs

    Republicans, still really bad at gambling….they put all their chips in with Trump and all they got was a big nothingburger of a President.

    why anyone would continue to vote for these incompetent fucks is beyond me? i mean seriously, all houses of Congress, the White House, and pretty much the Supreme Court, and these bumbling assholes cannot EVEN THEN get their shitty agendas passed.

    that my friends is fucking IRONY.

    • WeaselPoo

      GOP voters think irony describes a well pressed shirt.

      • From Russia With A Permit

        That’s why they have a wifery.

  • Military power consolidation is a much more frightening prospect than having a man baby in power.

    • From Russia With A Permit

      Say what?

      • Fourthish article from the top: “As Trump grows unhinged and throws temper tantrums on Twitter, the military is stepping up to keep the status quo around the world, a move that is as refreshing as it is terrifying.”

        • From Russia With A Permit

          The US military can not consolidate power. The DoD might, but I haven’t seen anything to suggest that Gen Mattis is doing so.

          • Incoming Ham

            I think they will simply not follow any of his direct orders and go through (I can’t believe this might be better) congressional leadership.

  • calliecallie

    OT I was going to post this on the open thread first thing this morning, but for some reason my work computer wouldn’t let me post any non-comments until now. Here goes:
    I didn’t sleep well last night (fucking Trump) and so was late to work this morning. Stopped to buy bagels for the staff, because I’m already late so may as well make it worth everybody’s while. Driving to work on a 3-lane one-way street I don’t usually take (but the bagel shop is there). Nice day, so the windows open to dry my hair. A guy in a big black pickup in the next lane honks at me and makes the “call me” gesture. I wave him off. He does it again. I speed up. Of course, we both get stopped at the light, side by side. He rolls down his window and asks for my number. I tell him I’m married. Thank Christ the light changed and I speed up to get away from him, but, of course, we’re both stopped side by side at the next light. He tells me “I’ll let you in on a secret. I’m married, too.” I tell him I’m not interested, very flattering, but no thanks. (Because I am always too nice.) He tells me “You’re a cutie.”
    I will be 60 years old in November, and although I still have no grey hair “cutie” is not an appropriate word to describe me.
    I don’t know whether to be outraged, flattered, frightened, or maybe even reassured. This happening after a big fight with mr. cc last night is like a sign from the universe saying, not that I could do better exactly, but that I could do something else.
    Anyway, I was basically creeped out and freaked out, and I blame Donald Fucking Trump for emboldening all these assholes.

    • Blackest Noobs

      misogyny was bad enough before Trump, but the country electing him has made it even more acceptable than ever before….we take one step forward, and five steps back.

    • From Russia With A Permit

      “I locked myself out of the house this morning. Your dick would have come in handy when I picked the lock.”

      • Persistent Demme

        You can’t take a chance and enrage this loser.
        But good comeback!

    • Courser_Resistance

      I’ve had the same thing happen. Not while driving, but yeah. I agree, it’s a very weird feeling. I’m going to be 59 in November, so yeah. It usually happens to me when I’m doing something sporty.

    • Martini Ambassador 🍸

      He honked at you and gave you the “call me” sign, you didn’t immediately exit the car and strip off all of your clothes?! That’s just anti-social, lady.

    • Wolf Tracker

      Bus Scene from Mrs. Doubtfire just popped into my head.

    • SweetDeeKat

      Ugh. Big black pickup. Did it have enormous “I have a tiny dick” tires? If so, be creeped out.

    • ignore the cheating asshole, accept that you are a hot woman AND over 40 and tell mr cc to get with the program.

      I say yeah for hot chicks over 40!

    • BeachBum

      So you did get the bagels right ? With cream and jelly ?

      • calliecallie

        Of course! Regular cream cheese and honey cinnamon.

    • SeeTrain65

      I’m sorry you went through this.

      I’m always confused why morons like these think, “Sexual harassment as an attention-getter? Sounds like a plan!”

      Do these assholes actually think you’re going to jump out of the car and into his crew cab saying, “Well, I’ll never get a better offer than that! Why did I even wear panties today? Let’s go, Bocephus!”

      It’s always been like this, but Trump has amplified this misogyny and emboldened the cocky, self-confident behavior many have been shamed to resist showing anyone.

      The Trump morons’ “I got mine, fuck you” attitude isn’t limited to their treatment of women, and it makes me ashamed to be associated with my own gender.

      • calliecallie

        Don’t be ashamed. You are clearly one of the good ones. Plus you made me laugh out loud with that panties comment.

        • SeeTrain65

          Full Disclosure: After I posted that, I logged off and did something else. Ten minutes later, I worried it might have offended you. I meant no offense. Sometimes I have a bit of a tact problem, but I’m glad it made you laugh.

  • UncleTravelingMatt

    Can we just take a moment to recognize that it’s not even September, and the Giants have been eliminated and are 40 games back of the Dodgers?

    • Persistent Demme

      Don’t make me turn this car around!

  • Blackest Noobs

    i love how Trump was all bravado about “terminating” NAFTA….ha ha ha oh sweet sweet baby jesus…yes please do that because it wouldn’t be anything as much as a clusterfuck as the UK breaking away from the EU….no not a cluster fuck at all.

    when will Republicans get fucking serious about this fucking imbecile?

    • From Russia With A Permit

      When he eats all of their cheese.

      • Blackest Noobs

        we might have the battle of the Republicans…in one corner you have a buffoon who is only good at insulting people and in the other corner a machiavellian turtle who doesn’t yell a lot but sure as fuck knows how to fuck things up with procedures.

        • Blackest Noobs

          p.s. in this situation i really wouldn’t be pissing off the turtle especially given if i had a bad 200+ days in office.

      • ZangoCrudmonger

        And now I want cheese.

        Does cheese go with breakfast? Not really in omelet mood.

        However a grilled cheese sounds nice. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ODYfkPxdy8c

    • Only once they stop schtupping their _________?

    • WeaselPoo

      When Cofeve the Expunger rises from the Void of G’nithkar and Jared brings peace to the Middle East.

      • Blackest Noobs

        prophecy?

      • Incoming Ham

        Holy be Cofeve. Long may he wave.

    • guppy06

      November 3, 2020, at which point he will become all the reasons and the only reason the GOP lost the White House.

    • Persistent Demme

      When his poll numbers drop a little more.

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸

    “The head of the Boy Scouts called this morning to say that last night’s speech was the greatest speech ever given. And did you see the crowds? Biggest ever. Like my huge Electoral College win, that was youge. Mr Elegant, that was, he said we were terrific. Buffalo.”

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸

    I mean, the guy liked dogs, how bad could he have been?
    https://twitter.com/FrankConniff/status/900365851194531842

  • Weird Fishes

    “I hope Mother made rice pudding for lunch. Oh, how I love her rice pudding.” https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/149a2607fed46c56e5082a1e5e6e944da374929d923904781a7ca9af16503ea4.jpg

  • Weird Fishes

    Poor ol’pup just wants to be friends.

    • BeachBum

      Wanna play ! Wanna play ? Huh Huh Huh ?!

  • Meanie-meanie, tickle a person

    TPM: Police Use Tear Gas, Protesters Arrested Outside Trump Rally

    So now we know what the Gov meant when he said he was gonna spend the day “working with law enforcement”…

    Crafty. Appear to be snubbing pResident Evil, actually doing him a solid.

  • The Librarian

    I hope that skeevy Queens apartment complex loses tenants. The Trump lunatic fringe from wherever would love to move in, but they could never afford to.

    • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

      Or if they could, they’d be the worst tenant.

    • Carpe Vagenda

      That’s the thing. They aren’t tenants. They’re owners. It’s a condo. And asshole seems to be in real estate…

      • The Librarian

        Ah! My bad and too bad. Yes that’s a conundrum. Maybe charge hater with a hate crime if he ever returns? Perhaps depose him from the board?

        • Carpe Vagenda

          Prices for real estate in Queens are skyrocketing. I suspect that when they look into this they’re going to discover that he’s trying to buy up the apartments they’re selling at fire sale prices to resell at market.

  • Carpe Vagenda

    Hey, Robyn – Ivanka’s selling jeggings.

    https://twitter.com/IvankaTrumpHQ/status/900070091248750593

    • paxpax

      Game-changing? So dressing one’s self is a competition? Are there teams?

    • BadKitty904

      “Our game-changing new jeans have a secret:” They’re made by slave labor!

    • BeachBum

      I did not know there was a game about ladies pants. That’s why I come here, I learned me summtin every day !

    • Secret? They are made with the tears of the child labor slaves that make them?

    • SeeTrain65

      Jeans = “Game changer.”

      Levi Strauss is laughing from his grave.

      • Carpe Vagenda

        Not just jeans. Jeans with an elastic tummy control panel.

        • SeeTrain65

          Oh, “Pajama Jeans.” That’s no improvement. ; )

  • HazooToo

    God, I would have loved it so much if she’d called him a creep and told him to back off.

    • BillEGoatSmirk

      She should have used that baby goat maneuver on him.

      • BadKitty904

        Ha!

    • BMW

      “How dare Hillary be so rude?”

      -people completely OK with the previous 18 months of Trump acting like a neanderthal in public

      • HazooToo

        Exactly. They were gonna tar and feather her anyway.

  • Khavrinen

    “Mitch McConnell and Donald Trump aren’t on speaking terms”

    Dang, that turtle has all the luck. It’s not easy to get DJT to stop spewing word-salad at you like a SaladShooter™.

    • Laffing Crow

      Plus, if she isn’t already, Elaine Chao is in for some fun. Hope she’s ready to be leveraged.

  • Khavrinen

    “Sportsman’s Heritage and Recreational Enhancement Act”

    What?!? I though Trump’s base were the ones who were all freaking out about S.H.a.R.E.A. law?

    • phoenix00

      It’s the sharea they deserve, not the sharea they need right now.

  • BeachBum

    I understand that Faustian Bargains do not usually turn out so well. The plan of supporting Trump because he will sign anything passed, may have a tiny flaw. If not for the damage to the country, it would be hilarious to see the GOP in Congress react if Heel Narcisstico were to veto the GOP budget because it didn’t have the Wall funded. Then possibly Lil’ Paulie and MitchieBoy would go to Nance and Chuckie (who have been sitting like spiders) for the votes to override the veto.
    Oh to hear that conversation ! Bestest Deal Ever !

  • Saxo the Grammarian

    “A number of people have bailed out on the National Infrastructure Advisory Council
    a day before it was to hold its first meeting.”

    These presidential councils have *meetings*? Such workaholism can be serious.

  • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

    “The NRA wants to kill all the cute woodland critters inside national parks, and Trump officials are gagging the National Park Service from speaking out against what the NRA calls the “Sportsmen’s Heritage and Recreational Enhancement Act.”

    Because the national parks, quite possibly the most popular parks in the world, really need hunters and hikers/campers in close proximity.

  • M.E. Lawrence

    I blame the moderator for not telling the Con to sit the fuck down and leave Secretary Clinton alone.

    • AlanInSF

      I was just thinking, if she’d turned around, taken a step into Trump’s face, and yelled, “What the fuck are you doing?” she’d have won the election,

      • LadyLaz

        This

      • No, it would be further proof (to the right wing) that she’s an uppity bitch.

        • Unfortunately, this.
          Women are not allowed to ever be angry, or yell, or show any emotion other than a stern frown and even that is generally used as evidence that she is not a fun loving type

      • sgt. jmk of the résistance

        The “shrill” narrative would have been turned up to eleventy.

      • Laffing Crow

        I was thinking the same thing, without the yelling & getting in his face. Stopping, small pause for loin girding, and turning around calmly and just asking him, “Mr. Trump, is everything all right? Do you need to take a break? You seem … distressed. Should we be concerned?”

        That would’ve dialed him up to waaay past 11. Swinging from the chandeliers, screeching that he’s the healthiest, most beautiful, (actually people call him up & tell him how perfect he is) person that EVER lived! I can just hear it, “You’re the break taker! You take all the breaks!”

  • Hunters hate sportsmen. I hope the NRA loses numbers in droves over this shit. They just might.

  • empf

    That guy’s website is so 1990s

  • Moar Wordz

    So do you think we’ll have them (Ivanka and Jared ) shipped out by Xmass?
    Best laugh all day.
    Prankster is now my hero

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