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‘I just wanna stay in the White House and work my ass off, make great deals’ — DJT, Feb. 2016

The Secret Service has run out of money for 2017 to pay its agents for all the hours they’re protecting Donald Trump and his YOOGE family. This doesn’t mean the Secret Service won’t keep protecting them, of course, because thank Crom they can’t just be laid off like common busboys at a Trump hotel. Rather, agents will have to keep working without pay, like managers of a Trump property, but with a far better chance of at some point getting a congressional appropriation to cover their back pay. Probably. The problem is simple: There are a lot more Trumps to protect, at a lot more places. And of course you have a president who travels far more than the previous guy, even though Trump complained constantly about Barack Obama’s travel costs and golfing:

Of course, Obama never hit on the great idea of vacationing at places he owned, where the Secret Service gets the privilege of paying the president’s business for the costs of protecting him. For example, Trump’s visits to Mar-a-Lago and his Bedminster golf resort has cost the Secret Service some $60,000 for golf cart rentals in 2017 alone. You’d think maybe the Trump Organization would comp the golf carts for the people keeping the boss safe? We imagine there’s some sort of ethics rule there requiring the Secret Service to pay but making it OK for the president to profit.

Funny thing: Back in March, the Office of Management and Budget turned down a Secret Service request for $60 million in additional funding it anticipated would be needed to protect the first family. Gotta be fiscally conservative, you know. But now, the allotted money is all gone:

Secret Service Director Randolph “Tex” Alles, in an interview with USA TODAY, said more than 1,000 agents have already hit the federally mandated caps for salary and overtime allowances that were meant to last the entire year.

“The president has a large family, and our responsibility is required in law,” Alles said. “I can’t change that. I have no flexibility.”

The Obama administration had 31 people who received Secret Service protection, while under Trump, that’s up to 42 people, several of whom are Trump’s children, who do a hell of a lot of traveling. And to complicate matters, the overwork and constant travel have caused serious attrition in the service. Unless Congress steps in to provide funding, agents may not be paid for overtime they’ve already accrued. Normally, it would be a given that Congress would adequately fund the Secret Service, but this is a Republican Congress, so there’s no guarantee they’ll actually pay the bills. That Party of Personal Responsibility really is something.

Alles has been negotiating with congressional leaders to increase agents’ combined caps for salary and overtime from $160,000 a year to $187,000 while Trump is in office. Even if that’s approved, it still wouldn’t be enough to pay 130 of the agency’s top agents for time they’ve already put in. Hmm. Looks like Trump really is running the government like he ran his businesses.

All that unpaid overtime and stress, combined with scandals, has hurt Secret Service recruiting and led to attrition in the agency. We can see why; during the Obama administration, the Secret Service seemed to abandon its reputation for steely-eyed vigilance in favor of allowing weirdos to scale the White House fence and run inside, or to take an unauthorized ride in an elevator to chat with Barack Obama, while carrying a gun. Then there were the South American Prostitutes, whom the agents didn’t even pay. So yeah, that would present a morale problem, and not just among Colombian prosties:

While about 800 agents and uniformed officers were hired during the past year as part of an ongoing recruiting blitz to bolster the ranks, attrition limited the agency’s net staffing gain to 300, according to agency records. And last year, Congress had to approve a one-time fix to ensure that 1,400 agents would be compensated for thousands of hours of overtime earned above compensation limits.

Here’s a crazy thought: Maybe instead of preaching fiscal restraint when it makes no goddamn sense, Congress could actually pay enough to protect the goddamned president. And the goddamned president could stay in Washington now and then, just for shits ‘n’ giggles? And for that matter, maybe the Trump Organization shouldn’t be trying to squeeze every last possible cent from the president’s security detail? We don’t like Donald Trump jetting off to Florida or New Jersey to go golfing all the time, but it would be nice if the people with the thankless task of protecting his flabby ass weren’t the ones suffering for it.

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[USA Today]

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  • schmannity

    Modest suggestion: It would be a lot cheaper for the Secret Service to protect Trump if he had his own cell.

    • Jack

      Excellent, there are some prime cells just down the road from DC. Ask Chelsea Manning about a reference.

      • schmannity

        Trump: But I don’t want transition surgery!

        Sorry, it comes with the cell.

      • Snark Tank Full of Resistance

        I’d think the ones in Kansas would be easier to protect, because who the fuck would ever want to travel to Kansas?

        • schmannity

          Dorothy?

  • MynameisBlarney
    • The Wanderer

      [after Fielding Mellish is punched in the back of the neck by a stranger]

      FBI Security: We missed him. We get most of them.

      • Tom Lindsay

        “W-What am I going to a fundraising dinner for? I don’t know the first thing about public speaking.”

    • SweetDeeKat

      OMG he makes them fetch things for him. Like their job is to get him diet cokes and fresh diapers.

      • MynameisBlarney

        Lots and lots of diapers.

    • Celtic_Gnome

      Clutch my pearls! And this surprises anyone?

      Michelle Obama said the presidency doesn’t change character, it illuminates it.

      • Mike Steele

        Maya Angelou said when someone shows you who they are, believe them.

  • MynameisBlarney
    • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

      “Armentrout was told that his final year of enrollment at Pensacola Christian College was being terminated.”

      What did he major in? Jelly donuts?

      • TJ Barke

        Naw, he was gonna be an Ark scientist.

    • Wild Cat

      Kicked out of a Xian college??? Allen Armentrout just want’s to reveal his family’s fine heritage of arming fish throughout US history, especially in the Antebellum South.

    • Lancelot Link

      Not good enough to be “Florida Man”

  • Michael Smith

    What a freeloader.

  • Zonath

    Who knew Trump would turn into such a welfare queen?

  • Bill D. Burger
    • AnnieGetYerFun

      Hell, they were blaming Obama for The prostitution thing, like he had personally dialed up the hookers for his security detail.

      • Snark Tank Full of Resistance

        Obama was the “cool” president…are we sure he DIDN’T?

  • geoffalnutt

    Gee. He’s alienating (nearly) everyone in America…just like Putin.

  • Bill D. Burger
    • GoutMachine

      If only we had built some sort of place for the president to live and work so this wouldn’t happen …

      • Celtic_Gnome

        They got one, but it’s a dump. You know, government housing, and the previous occupants were a black family with a dog, if you know what I mean.

  • Bill D. Burger
    • sgt. jmk of the résistance

      I know it’s just $60K, but the fact that this fucker is monetizing his administration to the point that the Secret Service have to rent golf carts at a resort he owns to follow and protect him as he plays fucking golf on his own damned course infuriates me almost more than the other infuriating garbage.

      • Celtic_Gnome

        It would probably cost even more, but it would be nice if it was set up so the Secret Service would have to rent golf carts at fair market value from a company the President doesn’t benefit from and ship them in for these events.

  • Rachel Book Harlot

    Causing suffering is the whole point of this administration.

    • Fun with Cthulhu

      It is most definitely “The New Cruelty”.

      • Celtic_Gnome

        You know, the cruelty stops just as soon as everyone starts treating Donald Trump fairly.

  • TJ Barke

    Who could have guessed that a morally bankrupt, skeevy, conman like Trump would do something like this?

    • The Wanderer

      Everyone.

      • Oblios_Cap

        But… He’s such a good Christian man.

  • ManchuCandidate

    Secret Service Man
    Secret Service Man
    They made you protect the Trumps
    And they capped away your OT pay.

  • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

    So agents are tired, overworked, and stressed out.
    Isn’t that a bad thing when part of the job is being reactive enough to locate and neutralize threats? Up to an including diving in front of a speeding bullet?

    • CafeenMan

      While I was in the Army I once had to do guard duty six hours on, six hours off for three weeks. We were so exhausted that alertness was totally shot. Whoever thought that was a reasonable way to do things never did it themselves.

  • memzilla Ω

    Great idea, Dolt 45, disgruntling the very people who — in a split second — might have to decide whether or not to take a bullet for you. Way to motivate ’em, dumbass.

    • schmannity

      I like Secret Service agents who don’t get shot.

      Wait, wot?

    • Gayer Than Thou

      “First, I just have to check my online banking app to see if my salary direct deposit has come in…”

    • Celtic_Gnome

      He’s just demonstrating that savvy businessman stuff he brings to the White House. For years, Washington waited until the people willing to put their lives on the line for their country were no longer doing that before they shat on them.

      Trumps sez, “Why wait until they’re done doing the job. Time is money! Not many people know this, but I invented that phase, ‘Time is money,’ in The Art of the Deal.”

  • Scooby

    Looks like now would be a great time to be a counterfeiter!

  • Msgr_MΩment

    pre-deleted riff on “shame if something were to happen to it”, because Dok Zoom thoughtcrimed me into deleting it.

  • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

    “You’d think maybe the Trump Organization would comp the golf carts for the people keeping the boss safe?…”

    HAHAHAHAHAHAH!

    • Bobathonic

      Assumes decency not in evidence.

  • bupkus231

    Rump and his family are bad enough – but giving Secret Service protection to assholes like Scott Pruitt ( EPA ) and Betsy DeVos ( Education ) seems like overkill ( no pun in untended ). But, these assholes are hust so addholish, they apparently need protection ( and in Pruitt’s case, even from the employees in their own offices )….

    • Latverian Diplomat

      I don’t think Pruitt is in any actual danger. Partly, he’s a paranoid coward, and partly a security detail makes him feel important.

      • bupkus231

        ding,ding,ding,ding – We have a winnah!

  • Ricky Gay

    “They ain’t paying me enough to take a bullet for that guy!”

  • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

    The secret service should be able to cut back some. It’s not like there are hordes of people trying to see him…although, what with all the firings and what not, there’s probably a very serious “disgruntled employee” danger. Racist Bannon alone….

    • Celtic_Gnome

      My nephew, a strong Trumpanzee, is firmly convinced that Bannon remains loyal to Trump but is going to go after Jared and the Kids.

      • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

        I actually agree with him. I think Racist Bannon is going to wage a PR war for Two Scoops’.

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸

    I thought this was an interesting little nugget to add to the story too: https://twitter.com/christinawilkie/status/899616421113733124

    • Snark Tank Full of Resistance

      While I sympathize with the Secret Service members who feel that way, it is unfortunately part of their job. They don’t get to choose who they have to protect (outside of voting, of course)….and treating servents and employees like shit is a Dampnutic trademark.

      • ariel_gee_398

        No, their job is to assess and neutralize threats to the first family, not to go fetch them a drink.

        • Snark Tank Full of Resistance

          And it’s their responsibility to TELL him that that’s not part of their duties.

          • Mike Steele

            Actually, it’s their boss’s job, but being as that is Secretary of Designer Clothing Mnuchin, that’s highly unlikely.

      • Shibusa

        Kind of O/T but I really enjoyed the memoir “Mrs. Kennedy and Me” by Clint Hill, her Secret Service agent. I think he was in love with her–so he’s not dishing up dirt. It’s still a really interesting glimpse into her life and lifestyle. I’m not so sure Americans would be as enchanted with her if she were FLOTUS today. The letter of recommendation that she wrote for Mr. Hill when he left her service made me verklempt.

    • miss_grundy

      But weren’t there SS agents who complained about Hillz during the campaign???? Those asshats made her out to be a bitch and now they are crying because the shitgibbon treats them like crap. They can cry me a river.

  • AnnieGetYerFun

    Remember when the GOP was saying that Secretary Clinton was more likely to meet with people who had donated large sums of money to her foundation? That (disproven) idea was so much worse than this because, I don’t know, vagina or something.

  • Oblios_Cap

    Not paying the people who protect you must really make them willing to take a bullet for you.

    • Also, too, treating them like crap

      • Oblios_Cap

        That makes them want to take a magazine of automatic rounds.

        • 🛶🗣️ Mr Canoehead 🛶🗣️

          Even if I wasn’t being cheated out of my pay and treated like dirt,I would not be highly motivated to protect the manbaby in chief.

    • jesterpunk

      If you read the comments on the USA Today article there are people arguing the secret service is paid enough so they don’t need to be paid OT or for the rest of the year since they made their yearly salary in 6 months.

      • I’m pretty sure they had to spend the salary money to rent space and golf carts from Twitler’s properties

      • Oblios_Cap

        That’s great, if you give them the other 6 months off.

        • Martini Ambassador 🍸

          Yeah, I’m failing to see how that motivates them to continue on in that line of work for the rest of the year.

          • jesterpunk

            Its Trump supporters saying that, so I guess they think working for Trump is pay enough or something?

          • bupkus231

            Rump supporters should not be paid – see how much they like it.

      • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

        Yeah, because working 12-hour days for free is a great motivator for a high stress job.

        • jesterpunk

          Trump supporters and facts and logic don’t go together at all.

      • Mateo

        Because compensating professionals for protecting one of the most (if not the most ) high value target in the free world is a bad thing…because reasons?
        Facts. How do they work? Oy.

        • Mateo

          Not to mention the stress level of having to *keep a president safe* let alone *this* cheeto-dusted idiot.

        • jesterpunk

          But something something Derp State.

    • Permit-holder Ron

      ‘GUN!’
      ‘Sorry, Mr President, my shift ended five minutes ago. Good luck with that.’

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸

    With Nostradumbass in charge, you just knew this was out there… https://twitter.com/NatashaBertrand/status/899644130548121600

    • Canis Greyhame

      Yeah right, as if he was paying taxes at that point, when he tweeted “We pay for Obama’s travel …”

  • bupkus231

    Of course, this “shortfall” being reported is ONLY for the Secret Service. Remember how the impacts of Rump’s frequent visits to Mar-A-Lago was banrupting the Palm Beach PD? Remember how much keeping Melania and Barron at Trump Tower was costing the NYPD? There also other federal departments/agencies affected by the costs of protecting the Rump administration, besides all the muncipal and regional “outside” security costs.

    The asshole right had the nerve to scream about the costs of protecting Obama and his administration. Ain’t it cute how quiet they are now?

    • Dr. Rrrrrobotnik

      If this administration has taught me anything, it’s that the list of things that conservatives actually care about, versus things that they’ll feign outrage over as long as liberals are doing it, is exceptionally short.

      • bupkus231

        Their “short list” is a function of their short brains.

  • Jack

    Why not run the USSS like a business, charge Trump Co. cost plus 40% for ‘protection’. “It’d be a shame if something happened to Eric, Mr President.”

  • OrG

    IOKIYAR~infinity

  • “I yearn for the day that our local schools are fully funded and the Trump administration has to hold a bake sale to fund its security.”

  • weejee

    FWIW, the eclipse is starting out here in the NW. GlassPusher is on site. And Ivanka Twatted all about it.

    — Brook Lundy (@brooklundy1)

    • Wild Cat

      According to her next twat tweet, Jared lasts 13 seconds . . .

      • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

        Hey-O!

      • Snark Tank Full of Resistance

        You misspelled “nanoseconds”.

    • Oblios_Cap

      Wowsers! She’s smart AND surgically enhanced!

      • Martini Ambassador 🍸

        Now that’s some top-shelf snark! Thirst-quenching!

      • BosGrl

        “Papa, how does an eclipse work?”
        “I don’t know! Nobody knows!”

        • SpideySenser

          “Sun goes in, Sun goes out. Never a miscommunication. You can’t explain that. You can’t explain why the Sun goes in.”

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸

    Gotta protect from those violent leftists, I guess. https://twitter.com/Rschooley/status/899642407624482817

    • MynameisBlarney

      Got an “invalid link” message when I clicked on your linky thingy.

      • Martini Ambassador 🍸

        Yeah, sorry, I fat-fingered an extra character into the link. Refresh, for I hath fixed this thing.

        • MynameisBlarney

          *nods*

          Verily.

    • MynameisBlarney

      And of course it’s gone after I refreshed, lol.

  • Iron Monkey

    Trump should be forced to stay in that dump of a White House until the Secret Service gets paid.

    • MynameisBlarney

      Better idea, dermp should impeached, arrested, tried and thrown in prison.

      • jesterpunk

        Dear God,

        If you want us to impeach Trump give us a sign today, something like blocking out the sun.

        Thanks

        Americans sick of the traitor in the White House.

      • blaid droog

        Then sued for overcharging the government.

    • Raan

      Civil forfeiture. Just sayin’.

      • marxalot

        I’m down. Too bad you can’t seize what doesn’t exist, and what does is mortgaged to the hilt (and the Russians).

  • Baconzgood

    Vacationing is a full time jerb

    • Oblios_Cap

      Seems to pay well.

    • eyelashviper

      And charging the guvmint for golf carts, lunches, regreening the greens, etc. takes so much energy…sad.

  • eyelashviper

    He also treats the SS with near contempt, having them fetch stuff for him, and treating them like servants. One agent was demoted because he expressed his lack of enthusiasm for protecting the Orange Maggot..

    • Persistent Tennessee Rain

      I’m shocked that he would treat someone badly.

    • Querolous

      If I wee him I would grab that demotion by the pussy and hang on.

  • Baconzgood

    Trump’s Secret Service staff are really taking a bullet for him.

  • marxalot

    The depth and scale of my contempt for this man is only expressible through metaphor; it is akin to the experience of viewing Olympus Mons from the surface of Phobos.

  • Rick Hill

    So, if any quit, then you have to remember the freeze on government hiring. Which will cause more to quit

  • Toomush_Inferesistance

    Can we pay him to just go away once and for all?…

    • blaid droog

      Only if he takes pence with him.

  • It takes a solar eclipse for things to start looking up around here.

    • Beanz&Berryz

      It’s underway here

  • Jenny

    Boy I sure hope these guys get paid. Would be nice if there was some sort of Trump specific rider that says hey mofo you actually need to be in washington on so many days.

    • Rick Hill

      Heck. I’m surprised trump doesn’t charge the SS for their staying in the WH

      • jesterpunk

        Don’t give him any ideas.

    • h4rr4r

      Then he would just fly home every night. That would be even more expensive.

  • Oblios_Cap

    Better bring James West and Artemus Gordon out of retirement!

    • Skwerl the Nazi Puncher

      They only charge $50 a week and travel on Amtrak

      • mardam422

        But they have their own traincar.

    • Permit-holder Ron

      Also Agents 13, 86 and 99. We can get 13 to hide in Donnie’s golf bag.

  • Rick Hill

    Anyone else think that trump having the SS is a little different meaning than for other preznits?

    • Mateo

      I’ve actively avoided writing it as an abbreviation because every time I do that’s what I think.

      • blaid droog

        As long as it doesn’t look like lightning bolts, I think you’re ok.

    • Permit-holder Ron

      It has crossed my mind from time to time, yes.

  • Oblios_Cap

    Back in March, the Office of Management and Budget turned down a Secret Service request for $60 million in additional funding it anticipated would be needed

    Sort of like how the State Department didn’t get the funding they wanted that caused Hillary to do Benghazi!

  • Oblios_Cap
  • Crystalclear12

    So, pretty much, everyone in the Secret Service goes home every night and sends out resumes?

    • Mateo

      Shit thats’ depressing -they’re suddenly me.

  • Viva La Tabula Raza

    Gee, I sure hope those exhausted SS guys don’t fall asleep on the job.

    • JoeChristmas

      Or forget to vote.

  • While about 800 agents and uniformed officers were hired during the past year as part of an ongoing recruiting blitz to bolster the ranks

    You know what other leader had a recruiting blitz?
    https://media.giphy.com/media/bIaizI2gq2erK/giphy.gif

  • ken_kukec

    They ain’t makin’ Republicans like Calvin Coolidge anymore, that’s for sure.

    • Amy!

      Mister we could use a man like Herbert Hoover again ….

      (Gee, our old LaSalle ran great!)

  • Indiepalin

    So who is protecting Trump from today’s so-called eclipse?

    • jesterpunk

      FAKE NEWS!!!!! The eclipse is a plot by liberal scientists to hurt coal jobs.

    • President in Exile Firefly

      Heliocentrism is just a theory! TEACH THE CONTROVERSY!!!111!!!

  • I hope this situation doesn’t impair their efforts to protect the president. The last thing we need is an Orange Manchild martyr.

  • William
  • Mr. Blobfish

    Aren’t Republicans always bitching about things being handled by the private sector? Outsource it to Erik Prince . If it’s good enough for the Afghanis, it’s good enough for Trump.

  • ariel_gee_398

    Golf carts cost about $5,000 each – couldn’t the Secret Service buy a few and keep them at Trump properties?

    • NastyBossetti

      Then they’d be charged storage fees, for keeping their golf carts at the course.

      • ariel_gee_398

        Grift finds a way….

    • Courser_Resistance

      They’d have to buy them from Cheeto for $20,000 each

      • Pisto75666

        He’d probably give them away anyway. I mean, they’re not even gold plated!

      • Permit-holder Ron

        It’s the options. They can really run the price up.

  • bookish

    Morning Brief. The Center on National Security at Fordham Law.

    Trump administration renews effort to expand use of Guantanamo: The Trump administration is making a fresh attempt at drafting an executive order that could involve sending more terrorism detainees to Guantanamo, reports the New York Times. Administration officials said President Trump had been expected to sign a detention policy order three weeks ago. But that plan changed after he fired his first chief of staff, Reince Priebus, on July 28 and replaced him with John F. Kelly, a retired Marine Corps general who once oversaw the prison at the camp. A new review of plans ordered on the day Kelly took over the chief of staff role is set to end this week with recommendations. New York Times

    The Miami Herald also reports that the U.S. military is planning for nearly $500 million dollars in new construction at Guantanamo during the Trump administration,
    including a Navy request to build a $250 million, five-bed hospital. The plans also include $124 million to build a new barracks for 848 prison troops to be ready four years from now. Miami Herald

    • Permit-holder Ron

      1) Is there not an old tweet where he’s critical of Gitmo?

      2) I wonder why he wants all that extra space for ‘terrorism detainees.’ Is he planning something?

  • Les Appentis De la résistance

    Why don’t they chain all the Trumps in a room in the Whitehouse basement? Then you’d only need a couple of guys by the door to keep them from escaping.

    • marxalot

      Yeah, but the cleaning crews would be on combat pay.

      • Permit-holder Ron

        Firehoses.

  • “It wasn’t our fault. The USS John S. McCain handles like a grumpy, old man”
    https://68.media.tumblr.com/7859c245fb2b4f31ada41bb8b743eaba/tumblr_n9u6hoZ2Xh1qzjhsto1_500.gif

  • Vorhees

    I seriously feel that Trump’s clubs and properties should be comping any costs associated with the Secret Service protected the owner’s life. In other words, charging for use of golf carts as they chase him around the course is disgusting.

    • jesterpunk

      They cant legally, the secret service has to pay. Trump could use Camp David for vacations like every other president if he wants to golf.

      • ariel_gee_398

        I’m guessing they have to pay fair market value. And I’m also guessing what Trump charges is well above that.

        • jesterpunk

          He did double the rates at his clubs once he won the election. I am sure that is a huge coincidence though.

          • ariel_gee_398

            Even Rod Blagojevich was less obvious about his profiteering…

          • jesterpunk

            Yes but he wasn’t a republican. Your forgetting the first rule of government IOKIYAR.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            If he’d been a Republican, he’d be an esteemed party elder right now, with a gig on Fox and possibly preparing a presidential bid.

          • ariel_gee_398

            I know, it’s not that I expected him to get away with it as a Dem. But even the guy who was recorded calling a Senate seat a really valuable fucking thing that he wasn’t just going to give away was less tacky than the ignorant fuck in the White House.

      • Courser_Resistance

        But it’s a dump! The toilets aren’t even gold-plated!

    • Petunia Cat

      Why would the Secret Service be legally required to pay? At any time. And especially when the property is owned by the president? If the Secret Service gets it for free that could be a bribe? I don’t think you can bribe the government in general, you’d have to bribe some individual in the government. Even if that made sense it wouldn’t apply when the president is the owner, he’d be bribing himself.

  • eastcoastlib

    Remember when Republicans demanded Jimmy Carter give up his Peanut farm?

    • Iron Monkey

      Charles Shulz was outraged.

  • Les Appentis De la résistance

    Can’t we get some of those militia guys to volunteer to do it for free?

    • Empress of the Iguana People

      Probably, but I doubt they’re as good as they think they are.

      • Jennaratrix

        I don’t see the problem.

        • Empress of the Iguana People

          Well, Barron’s just a kid as well as a target.

          • Jennaratrix

            Point taken. I forget about poor Barron.

    • willi0000000

      only if you don’t mind every protester* who yells at t’Rump getting shot!

      * or reporter

  • tomamitai

    The first time I heard alleged behind the scenes gossip from secret service agents about a sitting president and his family was during the Clinton administration. AM talk radio, which I had the misfortune to be working in at the time, was abuzz with rumors about what went on behind closed doors between Bill & Hillary. I didn’t like it then and thought it a breach of trust, and I still feel that way today. But, oh, that schadenfreude is a powerfully sweet drug and very hard to say no to!

  • Persistent Tennessee Rain

    Someone on Trump Regrets recently posted that they were disappointed in their vote for him because they thought he was going to run the country like a business.

    (Insert eye blinky emoticon here)

    • Viva La Tabula Raza

      Unfortunately, he’s running it like one of HIS businesses.

    • Permit-holder Ron

      Did anyone point out to this person that this is in fact HOW Donnie runs a business?

  • ken_kukec

    “… they can’t just be laid off like common busboys at a Trump hotel.”

    But can they be replaced, as Trump hotels are wont to do, by contract workers imported from the third-world? Those workers tend toward docility, once you have their passports locked in the office safe.

    • willi0000000

      passports?

      • commatoes

        He did that with Polish construction workers in the 90’s(?).

        • willi0000000

          but undocumenteds are so much more amenable to threats!

  • Alice Peal

    I would like to know who the 43 total are and if any cabinet member, or advisor, e.g. McMaster or Conway, are getting SS details.

    • doktorzoom

      Probably — which is normal. Obama and Biden certainly didn’t have 31 people in their families

      • Shibusa
        • mailman27

          What’s with the matching shirts? They look like a bunch of Huckabees.

          • Cleo_Cat

            And yet the entire Romney clan weighs less than Pa and Ma Huckabee and their three kids. I am thinking of that Xmas card photo with striped shirts. Lovely and they may be even larger now.

          • Petunia Cat

            Huckabee is a unit of measurement. Somewhere between a bushel and a peck.

        • thatguyJMM

          I swear I’ve been staring at the picture for the better part of 15 minutes before I found Mitt. Like how the last page of every Where’s Waldo book is always the hardest one to find Waldo.

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      I know the nice billionaire Betsy DeVos is getting $7 million dollars worth of our taxpayer dollars, to be protected from school teachers who might yell at her.

      • Khavrinen

        Or they could just give 7 million teachers a dollar each not to yell at her.
        Nah, probably cost more than a dollar.

  • fawkedifiknow

    Make Trump hire Joe Arpaio for his Secret Service detail, if he pardons him. See how safe and secure that makes him feel.

  • blaid droog

    How does this affect the SSs’ other duties? Maybe 45 has a secret plan to hire Willem Dafoe to counterfeit billions of dollars worth of 20 dollar bills, to undermine the economy. Perhaps the gov. should just withhold all sekret service protection from the entire family and let mr. orange rely on the thugs and goons already on his personal payroll. I could live with that option. I mean how much protection does the asshole need? He says amerika loves him 100 per cent, so how could he ever be in danger. Besides he bullet-proofed himself when he hired pence. No one wants to see that motherfucker move up the ladder.

    • Viva La Tabula Raza

      +1 for To Live and Die in L.A. reference.

      • BillEGoatSmirk

        What a great movie.

  • cmd resistor

    Re: that one Trump tweet. Was Jimmy Carter some big golfer? Or is he talking about some other Carter? Or just random Trump bullshit?

    • marxalot

      I think he has settled on Carter as the most ineffective American president whose name he can reliably remember/spell.

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        Ironic, since Trump is making GWB look like a model president, and he’s my gold standard for ineffective FUCK up presidents.

        • commatoes

          Harrison died 31 days into office and probably got more done than the Fanta™ Hued Shitgibbon will in 4 years.

          • Vagenda and Pee-ara

            That’s my only consolation with Trump – he’s been terrible, but he’s been terribly incompetent. If he gets competent, we’re all screwed.

  • William
  • mardam422

    Well, in fairness, when Donald goes golfing, he needs a Secret Service agent to caddie for him. Taking the pin out and helping him read greens and whatnot. I mean, the difference between using that 8-iron or going to a 3/4 7-iron is worth not having the money to pay a regular caddie. Just money he saves on tips is astronomical.

    • commatoes

      Hold the mirror so he can see around his belly when putting?

    • Permit-holder Ron

      I think it’s charming that you think he tips caddies. Or anyone.

      • tkingt

        During his last trip to Mar-a-Lago he gave my friend (busboy) a ten spot. This is very generous considering the meal came to over 500 bucks. The Hispanic staff adores Donnie.

  • BeatnikBob

    I am not the first person to think of this, but:

    Who on this planet would willingly take a bullet for this guy?

    He or she would not be a Republican; they get the poor minorities to go to war, not THEY. No sane Dem would sign up for the job. No one else even cares WHO is President.

  • Mike Rhodes

    Hey, Secret Service! If they ain’t gonna pay you no more, don’t do the job. We won’t mind.

  • Amy!

    The Trump Organization solved this problem years ago.

    Hire undocumented immigrants under the table on an hourly basis. They work cheap! It’s a great DEAL!

  • our responsibility is required in law

    So is the President not profiting from his office, and nobody’s doing anything about that, either.

    • Petunia Cat

      There is a lawsuit. About the emoluments clause. We shall see what happens. It’s as if time itself has slowed down. 😩

      Of course there should be some normal legal entity to enforce the fucking emoluments clause!

      • BillEGoatSmirk

        There was never a need for one. Let’s hope that when the Dems retake the House in 2018, that they start working on enacting a law for such an entity.
        And Congress needs to start enforcing the STOCK Act against their own.
        And Citizens United needs to go away.
        UGH. I give up.

      • Mike Steele

        Yeah, the Painter/Eisen CREW thing. You can bet somebody’s slow-walkin’ that proceeding…looking at you, Jeffrey Butterscotch Sessions (thanks, Evan).

        • Petunia Cat

          ButterBEANS ButterBEANS!!! We can only defeat him if we always every single time call him Butterbeans!
          Oh, was that just auto correct.

  • Empress of the Iguana People

    I imagine “stay-cation” is unknown in the first family.

    • commatoes

      Not if it’s at tax payer’s expense. Dolt 45 is treating everything like an expense account with no oversight.

      • Permit-holder Ron

        He knows the boss REALLY well.

      • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

        He is funneling our tax dollars hand over fist directly into his pocket. All those trips are to HIS properties.

  • Mavenmaven

    They should just send some of those TSA guys to pretend to be secret service agents, just like they pretend to do airport safety.

    • Permit-holder Ron

      I always wondered why they wore sunglasses indoors.

  • ken_kukec

    It’s a bust-out operation, like the one the Soprano crew pulled at Scatino’s sporting goods and travel agency.

  • Persistent Demme

    Don’t you wish we could be bitching about, (and defending), Hillary’s (no doubt, relatively boring) administration?

    • Permit-holder Ron

      ‘She’s only been in office seven months and now she wants to take a weekend off! Weak!’

      • Doug Langley

        “She wants to go to the hairdresser? Already???

        • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

          “It’s so BORING here. Nothing ever happens.”

        • H0mer0

          that woman has the best wigs!

    • phoenix00
  • willi0000000

    fuck it!

    if the trumpster fire wants to spend so much time and money golfing just nationalize the resorts and hotels . . . eminent domain, motherfuckers . . . it’s for a better/more profitable reasons.

  • jowgajen

    I honestly think we should dial back a little on the government responsibility to protect extended family. Beyond Melania and Barron (who live in the White House and are direct dependents of potus*), we should provide Secret Service management for a privately funded security detail and nothing more.

    • mardam422

      And that would be cheaper and better how? Just asking for a friend.

      • jowgajen

        Was thinking just Secret Service consultation if there were a concern that a child could be a target in order to influence the president. Or simply turn it over to the FBI in that case, there’s a lot more agents and less of a concern with running into overtime issues. The super amazing perfect protection provided to the potus does not have to be extended to Jivanka, Beavis and Butthead, they are wealthy grown adults traveling on personal business.

        • mardam422

          The super amazing perfect protection ALREADY doesn’t need to be provided to adult children.

  • mardam422

    Funny how with all the Trumpsters hanging on his every tweet, none of those old tweets seem to make a dent in their zeal for sucking his tiny dick.

  • Mike Steele

    Why, in the name of all the economically anxious out there, are we paying protection for grown Trump spawn while they are doing shady deals overseas, enriching the old man in flagrant violation of Article 1 of the fucking Constitution, hunh?

    • Jukesgrrl

      The rules were written back when no one could even imagine such a grifter could become president. We’ve had some incompetent presidents but I can’t think of one who was happily ripping off the public and instructing his children to do the same.

  • Politiquacks

    I don’t think it’s that they’ve run out of money, per se, rather that secret service employees have hit their cap on how much they are allowed to earn. So there’s still money, the staff just isn’t allowed to have it because they’ve earned their maximum annual salary already.

    • It is both. The caps are hit and they have no money to hire more

    • commatoes

      Overtime and travel expenses (see Secret Service detail at Trump tower) plus the fact that the golf resorts have to become secure locations along with every single one of his seemingly endless rallies.

      • Permit-holder Ron

        The rallies, there’s a solution. Hire the people who turn up there with guns as his security. What could possibly go wrong?

        • H0mer0

          Hey, the Stones did it!
          oops, bad example.

        • Wee Mousie

          That might work, with one big caveat.

          No Nazis, No Confederate army sympathizers, no rogue cops, no free range cowboys, and no NRA nutters.

          • Permit-holder Ron

            But that’s his entire audience!

  • VirginiaWackelpudding

    Make the entire family stay in the White House for the rest of the year. You want out? Supply your own security detail. The POTUS stays put!

    • Permit-holder Ron

      But do we really want him hanging around the WH with nothing to do, getting bored and poking at buttons and such?

      • VirginiaWackelpudding

        My honest answer wouldn’t be allowed because it involves re-wiring those buttons and high voltage with votes.

  • Erick the Kracker

    “We imagine there’s some sort of ethics rule there requiring the Secret Service to pay but making it OK for the president to profit.”

    … ethics rule..HAW,HAW,HAW, that’s hysterical. Like he cares.

    Why doesn’t the Donald just reach into his YOUGE wallet with his tiny hands and make up the difference?

    • commatoes

      Emoluments Clause.

      Largely ignored by Dolt 45 and the GOP in the capital.

    • Wee Mousie

      Someone could suggest that his life may be endangered if the Secret Service men guarding him aren’t paid, so if Congress is still being fiscally conservative, he can either pay their shot himself, or quit as president,

  • Ωbjectifier

    When you don’t pay the guys that are paid to take a bullet for you, bad things are liable to happen.

    • Permit-holder Ron

      ‘GUN!’
      ‘Yes, and…?’

  • TundraGrifter

    “President Obama spent the day playing golf.Worse than Carter.”

    Many people don’t know that Mr. Carter was a scratch golfer.

    • Lefty Wright

      He was a scratch president also. Despite numerous obstacles, the country was no worse off when he left than when he came in. In some respects, he improved the odds of world peace, although the potential he created was never realized. All of this was something the Republicans since then cannot claim.

      • TundraGrifter

        If only we’d all listened when he warned us we had to change our evil ways and conserve energy! Of course, if we’d just kept recycling after WW II instead of being in such a hurry to get rid of it…

        • Old Man Yells at Cloud

          I remember seeing him join Santana on stage and sing lead on “Evil Ways”. Best Concert Ever!

        • Wee Mousie

          I remember being truly incensed when Bic Lighters came out.
          “What, throw away my lighter every time it runs out of fluid?”

          My great uncle had left me his pre WWII Zippo, his Waterman fountain pen and mechanical pencil set and his Buluva wristwatch. I still have them, they work, and I have a grand nephew I intend to leave them to.

          • TundraGrifter

            There’s an interesting novel about a Russian detective who goes to Havana during the period after the Soviet Union withdrew economic support for Cuba. Hard times, to say the least. The local guy mentions he has refilled his Bic a hundred times – a personal record.

  • StlSaxist

    I thought I remembered the right was OUTRAGED!!1!11!!! when Obama went on a diplomatic trip overseas, claiming the cost was in the gazillion dollars. Did I dream that? Oh, nevermind, he was a blah guy.

  • kindness

    I say Screw Them. Trumpistas knew what the budget was and blew through it. Now Trump (& Co) can walk themselves over to Starbucks for their latte and if they are harrassed on the way they can call for a cop just like the rest of us. Oh how I wish this would be true. I can already feel the gratuitous egging that would be coming.

  • Latverian Diplomat

    “They call themselves the Secret Service, but everyone knows they exist. Sad.”
    — Donald Trump

    • clairence

      Ha!

    • Pilotshark

      The Investigative Mission
      Since its inception in 1865, the Secret Service was created to investigate and prevent counterfeiting. Today the agency’s investigative mission has evolved from enforcing counterfeiting laws to safeguarding the payment and financial systems of the United States from a wide range of financial and computer-based crimes. To combat these crimes, the Secret Service has adopted a proactive approach, using advanced technologies and capitalizing on the power of task force partnerships.

      The U.S. Secret Service has a pivotal role in securing the nation’s critical infrastructures, specifically in the areas of cyber, banking and finance. Other directives address the need to combat transnational organized crime that targets the citizens and financial institutions of the United States. In response to the globalization of technology- based threats, the U.S. Secret Service’s investigative mission abroad is growing as well, creating the need for a heightened overseas liaison presence.

      Today, multi-disciplined forensics experts, investigative experts and intelligence analysts provide rapid response and critical information in support of financial analysis, infrastructure protection and criminal investigations.

      you know I get the feeling trump is not aware of this secret part of the service job. not that most all knows this as well.

  • clairence

    I thought Trump wanted his own security force. This is one way to get there. Maybe he’ll use all those un-needed ICE agents.

    • Old Man Yells at Cloud

      Yes, he would want his private security since the Secret Service doesn’t sign his lifetime NDA.

    • BillEGoatSmirk

      Well he’s got that ex-NYPD guy Keith Schiller who delivered the “you’re fired” letter to Comey’s office…and Trump had commented during the campaign that he’s fine with his own ‘personal security’…so, let’s make it happen. Schiller can hire a bunch of mall cops and psychiatrically-challenged academy rejects at $10 an hour… Donnie can get what he pays for.

  • Permit-holder Ron

    Has Two Scoops said, ‘They should feel honoured to protect me. They should be willing to do it for free out of respect and love for me.’ yet?

    • george lastrapes

      I’m sure he said something memeable, as memorable as ‘Let them eat cake’. If he won’t tell us what he said, we should feel free to make it up.
      But wouldn’t he rather privatize the Secret Service, turn it over to Erik Prince, and let Sheldon Adelson foot the bill?

      • Doug Langley

        Chocolate cake. With one scoop.

        (Gotta remember who rates the two scoops.)

        • Old Man Yells at Cloud

          I would pay real $$$ to be in charge of desert just one time so I could have his desert brought out first with two scoops and then bring out everyone else’s desert with three.

          To paraphrase Johnny Cash, “I served a man-baby two scoops just to watch him cry”

      • george lastrapes

        Or better yet, Putin could send a squad of FSB operatives to protect his investment.

  • azeyote

    i can’t imagine the paycheck it would take for someone to hangout with this piece of sniveling shit

  • Jukesgrrl

    Why don’t they just hire Liam Neeson to protect the family. He’s good at that.

    • Renee E. Babcock

      Maybe Liam Neeson could lose Trump. He’s pretty good at that, too.

  • disqus_lWwzrwNaw6

    My favorite observation from Christina Wilkie’s account of this whole SNAFU:

    “One of Wilkie’s sources compared Trump’s treatment of Secret Service agents with the treatment given them by past presidents — and the comparison did not reflect well on the current president.

    “Clinton treated USSS agents like friends,” the source told her. “Bush treated them with great respect. Obama, like family. Trump treats them like servants.”

    • HooverVilles

      Trump shows us who and what he is every minute of every day.
      And yet! people are surprised?!?!?
      SAD!

  • canuckgirl

    Trump is getting foreign workers for his businesses, he could hire a few for his security detail. Ooops, if they look the other way or aren’t properly trained. You get what you pay for.

    • Maybe they can just get some of the ‘three-percenter’ scrubs who seem to love him so much… that Confederate Cosplay Cuck is looking for a job now, and they could probably pay him in Big Gulps and vending machine sandwiches.

      • Bitter Scribe

        OK now, you’re making me have thoughts about firecrackers inducing accidental shootings that are probably against the RfR.

  • Cogswell – In a Mirror, Darkly

    Bankrupted his casinos
    Bankrupted his businesses
    Bankrupted the Secret Service
    Morally bankrupt
    Ethically bankrupt

    Anyone sense a pattern here?

    • Old Man Yells at Cloud

      You forgot … “and stuffed his wallet each time”

      • HooverVilles

        & This!

    • HooverVilles

      This!

  • Invidosa

    Makes me wonder how many of these ladies and gentlemen who signed up in Obama’s day (you know, back when we had a REAL president?) Go home at the end of a 20 hour day and think “oh fuck no”

  • Old Man Yells at Cloud

    If management of the Secret Service had a spine, they would tell Lil’Donnie, that until the next fiscal year, neither he nor his family can leave the Whitehouse.

    • HooverVilles

      What, and have to stay in that “dump”.
      Quelle horror!

  • BillEGoatSmirk

    The hypocrisy of this situation makes me livid. Whether it’s the Orange Foolius’ prior tweet-screeds at President Obama for enjoying a vacation or a round of golf, or the pigs in the GOP in Congress who would starve their own grandmother to save a buck, but won’t open their pieholes about Donnie’s raping of the Treasury through Secret Service protection….
    My next non comment is redacted, because it needs a lot of “with votes”.

  • OrdinaryJoe

    Birds going to fly, fish has to swim, grifters need to grift.

  • James Lamere

    If the Trump clan loves guns so much , where are their guns ? Protect thyself like it says in the Bible .

    • HooverVilles

      Oh, that would work out well. Just wait until someone even rolls their eyes at predisent Trump and his band of home made “secret service” oathkeepers will fire at all around.
      I know, I know….
      Sigh!

  • Ray in VT

    What was that about how much Obama’s travel cost?

  • So what you’re saying is, there was a time the Secret Service had a running tab with Colombian prostitutes, and even then, they were doing better fiscally than they are now. That (is the billionth or so thing which) just tells you everything, amIrite?

  • whitroth

    Oh, but the Secret Service spent SO MUCH protecting O’Bummer, and O’Bama spent soooo much time playing golf….

  • HooverVilles

    What are ya gonna do. Grifters gotta grift.

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