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Farewell to the 45th president of the United States. Preceded by Barack Obama, followed by General John Kelly.

GUYS, Maggie Haberman of the failing New York Times brings glad tidings better than Christmas and birthday sex and pizza, and it is that BYE STEVE BANNON! SEE YA WOULDN’T WANNA BE YA! DON’T LET THE DOOR HIT YA WHERE THE GOOD LORD SPLIT YA! And various other spontaneous outbursts of jubilation!

President Trump has told senior aides that he has decided to remove Stephen K. Bannon, the embattled White House chief strategist who helped Mr. Trump win the 2016 election, according to two administration officials briefed on the discussion.

WHEEEEEEEE! Somebody gets eliminated on “Big Brother” every week, and the Trump White House is just the same, except for how Bannon won’t get to sit down with Julie Chen and cry about how it all went so wrong.

The only people in this picture who still have their jobs are Donald Trump and Mike Pence. FOR NOW.

Bannon’s crimes are many, and we’re not just talking about his face.

Just this week, after Donald Trump refused to guarantee Bannon’s job security during his yoooge Charlottesville press conference (the one where he talked about how some Nazis are just sweet as pie), Bannon called a reporter from the American Prospect and proceeded to contradict Trump publicly on North Korea policy, and to brag about how he was about to get all kinds of people fired, including the acting head of East Asian and Pacific affairs at the State Department. Secretary of State Rex Tillerson responded to that by parading that official, Susan Thornton, in front of TV cameras, in a not so subtle fuck you.

Bannon is reportedly insisting he submitted his resignation on August 7, and that it was going to be announced at the beginning of this week. Unfortunately, some Nazis (likely partially inspired by the work Bannon did for the “alt-right” Nazi movement during his tenure at Dead Breitbart!) decided to inflict murder and mayhem on Charlottesville, Virginia, so the news had to wait. If that’s true, the American Prospect interview seems a bit like Bannon leaving a giant flaming poop bucket on Trump’s doorstep on his way out.

To be honest, we’re likely to believe that version of events, since Bannon was notably not invited on Trump’s puss-grabbing Bedminster stay-cation. He also did not accompany Trump to Camp David for his big super-important Afghanistan meeting.

Bannon had reportedly been pissing Trump off for a while now, despite how they are racist sexxx soulmates. Trump has been telling everyone Bannon is the Leaker-In-Chief, most notably on issues related to the Breitbart war on National Security Adviser H.R. McMaster. There’s that new Joshua Green book all about Bannon, which (in Trump’s eyes) is totally stealing the president’s thunder, even though we’re certain it will be remaindered by the end of the month. And of course, there’s the thing about how everybody and their Aunt Betty has been calling Bannon “President Bannon,” implying that Bannon actually has his pock-marked fist up Trump’s back slit, controlling his every presidential move like a foul, gin-soaked puppet master.

Oh yeah, and he called Jared Kushner a “cuck.” YOU DON’T DO THAT! How many times do we have to ‘splain that you DO NOT suggest that the president’s daughter Ivanka Trump does Love Boners with black guys while Jared watches?

Of course, we would be remiss not to mention that these mofos never REALLY go away. When’s the last time Corey Lewandowski’s “I would be sexxxy except for my personality” face appeared on your TV? When’s the last time Anthony Scaramucci’s “I would be sexxxy except for literally everything” face was on your TV? That would be “last weekend” and “last weekend,” at least that we recall. Did Paul Manafort really leave Donald Trump’s campaign when he was quit-fired? PSHAW.

BUT UNLESS BUT UNLESS!

MSNBC reports that Bannon is “expected to return” to Breitbart. If so, what a great day for journalism that will be. If Bannon’s departure means the John Kelly/Jim Mattis/H.R. McMaster wing (the “sane” wing, because literally our best hope in these American banana republic days is that a bunch of generals will engineer a coup) has won, will Bannon become a leader of the Trump resistance, but like, the weird one over there in that alternate Breitbart dimension called “Hell,” where Donald Trump simply isn’t enough of a white supremacist Hitler wannabe? Or will unfuckable garbage troll Stephen Miller and fake doctor/real Nazi Sebastian Gorka retain enough influence over Trump to keep Bannon at bay? WHO CAN SAY!

Regardless, Trump’s racist “alt-right” Nazi base, the one that masturbates to pictures of a green frog named Pepe, is going to LOSE ITS FUCKING MARBLES over this. You wanna see Trump approval ratings in the 20s? We’ll go ahead and pencil that in for next week!

Anyway, FAREWELL STEVE BANNON, you disgusting fucking piece of shit. If Breitbart doesn’t work out, there’s always meth.

Wonkette salaries are fully funded by lovely folks like you! Click the buttons below to give us money in honor of Steve Bannon going away!

[New York Times]

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  • Zippy W Pinhead

    The phrase “Friday news dump” has never been more appropriate

  • Raan
  • mardam422

    He should stub his little toe, instead. It hurts so much more.

  • armed_bears
  • SDGeoff3

    Maybe he and Peggy Noonan can get together and make happy intoxicated journalisms.

  • memzilla Ω
    • MynameisBlarney

      HA!

    • tomamitai

      EDGAR SUIT LIBELZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1!!!!!

    • norfolkandway1

      MORE!
      (I snorted at this, at work)

  • Indiepalin

    He was supposed to be gone last week but decided to stay on in the wake of the tragedy in Virginia. “I thought it was big of me!”, he boasted to to his ex-wife.

  • Bub, the cynical zombie

    He’s going to go on to better things. Apparently a modelling agency wants him to be the “Before” in an ad campaign for a treatment against debilitating skin conditions.

  • wide_stance_hubby

    Remember, Bannon, no man is a failure who has a grundle full of skin tags to pick at all day long because he is not even fit to serve in the Tramp WH.

    Evan: that phrase is burned in my mind, damn & thank you very much.

  • MynameisBlarney

    “Blightfart’s cesspool is giving birth to a live cow right now…”

    https://www.democraticunderground.com/10029484277

  • Raan

    “Is the first stage of grief pure, unbridled joy?”

    • willi0000000

      only if you sent that letter approving of the funeral.

      [ h/t Mark Twain ]

  • Villago Delenda Est

    I suspect this “firing” has all the gravity of the firings of Manafort, Lewandoski, and Stone.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      that is a real worry

    • Walter Wellstone

      Bannon should be getting a call from Robert Mueller’s office soon.

  • Oblios_Cap

    Wow! So who’s the president now?

    • Walter Wellstone

      Either Kushner or Kelly. We don’t know yet.

      • therblig

        not Jared?

    • leemoder

      Santa.

    • OneYieldRegular

      Uh…Hitler?

  • Bemused Australian

    An excited phone call from my sister who is holidaying in England has woken me up in order that I can know about this thing. Only a couple of minutes into the phone call did she realise the time difference, such was her glee. She is a good sister, and I love her a great deal.

    • Well!?!? Aren’t you glad you’re up and know about this?

      • Bemused Australian

        I have nothing in particular to do today, so yes!

        • willi0000000

          so . . . it’s Saturday there . . . yes?

          [ if so, please send me tomorrows lottery numbers ]

  • dslindc
    • therblig

      “But I would never hire him away from Dr. Quest.” – DJT

      • schmannity

        Obscure!

        • Jeffery Campbell

          Not to me!

      • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

        Dr. Racist Bannon?

    • Spurning Beer

      He played a very small role in the campaign and the administration.

  • ArgieBargie

    With President Bannon gone, who’s gonna runruin the country now?

  • janecita

    According to this story, Bannon is ready to go to war against Trump! I’m so hoping that this story is true!

    Bannon is now reportedly ‘ramping up for war against Trump’ – The Week
    https://apple.news/AaGB9SKXmRG-rfMVW-NmsEg

    • Oblios_Cap

      Let’s hope he’s got some juicy stiff on the Dumpster.

    • Raan

      Get yo motherfucking popcorn ready.

    • Walter Wellstone

      A dumpster fire is serious shit. This one just got more entertaining.

    • Wild Cat

      What? Brownshirts vs. Blackshirts? I’d say a pox on both houses, but we live in the same house these assholes do.

    • Do Tell All was my first thought.

      Then my second thought was: nah, somebody will have guaranteed his silence.

      Then my third thought was: HAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHA.

    • leemoder

      Artist’s representation:https://youtu.be/4fZRAITdKgs

      • willi0000000

        Big Trouble in Little China, along with Buckaroo Banzai and Remo Williams: The Adventure Begins for a trilogy of camp that’s hard to beat.

  • Lyly Sirivong
  • OK Ladies and Gentleman, it’s time to give the famous Wonkette Wheel of Distraction another spin!

    Who, or what, will come up on the wheel next week?

    • SweetDeeKat

      Lich Queen Kellyanne has been silent lately.

      • PubOption

        Is she the only ‘original’ Trumpite remaining in the WH? Other than family, of course.

    • willi0000000

      some days i wish they could distract me from all the things they are doing to wreck the country.

  • DerrickWildcat

    Cirrhosis faced colostomy bag being replaced by weasel faced ass Shkreli.

  • La forza del resistino

    Steve’s first action will be a trip down to Florida to to make sure all the fingerprints were wiped from the Jacuzzi.

    • WotsAllThisThen

      I’m sure the acid and chemicals took care of that.

  • WotsAllThisThen

    Six months on the job, that’s normal right?

    • Ill-Advised

      If you’re a contractor…

  • CO
    • Oblios_Cap

      Who?

    • Bobathonic

      Do something about it, then. I triple dog dare you.

    • Treg Brown

      Mike Flynn’s loudmouthed son should STFU and be glad we don’t hold the sins of the father against the son, and keep lookin’ for that Pizzagate basement..

    • Raan

      GOOD.

  • renegade500

    I really hope he makes some time for a spa getaway weekend. DC clearly hasn’t been good to his complexion.

  • TheGrandWazoo2

    Bannonarama–It’s A Cruel Summer

    • Vincent Ricola

      I wish I had more upvotes to give you.

  • Incoming Ham

    What will replace him in the sucking hole that’s left when he leaves – not who, what?

  • Dartemus

    This was because of the breaking news, right? that Bannon was registered to vote in Florida but didn’t live there, was that it?

    • theCryptofishist

      The Trump White House needs a few samples of Florida Man, to round out the crazy. Bannon wasn’t the real deal…

  • arundel

    The commenters at Breitbart are losing their SHIT. I would usually never recommend this, but go there now and marvel at the comment counter look like it’s going to explode, 400 comments a minute, over 8,000 comments and soaring. It’s like watching a digital clock that goes in milliseconds, blinding fast. It’s a marvel to see, check it out.

    http://www.breitbart.com/big-government/2017/08/18/steve-bannon-out-white-house/

    • Walter Wellstone

      Nah. Fuck’em.

    • Ωbjectifier

      IK,R? I can’t even get banned today!

    • Persistent Tennessee Rain

      My freude is sufficiently schadened. In fact, I may need a moment to myself.

    • therblig

      some of them aren’t sure what to say because bannon hasn’t come back and told them what to say yet.

    • theCryptofishist

      “I just dont get it!? How can we support him when bannon was one of the main reasons we elected him!?”–some poor breitbarter who really doesn’t understand Trump’s character. (Or lack thereof, if you prefer.)

    • Raan
  • I hope Bannon has a copy of ‘the tape’

    • WotsAllThisThen

      Lordy I hope so!

  • Bub, the cynical zombie
    • Ouch.

    • DrBigHead

      That’s really funny. Didn’t know Frum had it in him.

      • Bub, the cynical zombie

        I am becoming a Frum fan, at least on this issue. He doesn’t cut Donnie and his supporters any slack at all.

    • leemoder

      That’s what I call a Canadian Club.

  • ArgieBargie

    Top comment on Breitbart right now:

    Rubicon • an hour ago
    Trump throwing Bannon under the bus to please establishment hacks? WTF!

    Their tears taste even better served in a Wonkette mug.

    • Mary Theresa

      I hope you had your biohazard suit on before you entered Breitbart.

      • Skeptical_thinker

        I just came back and had to take a sponge bath in the men’s room, without a sponge.

    • armed_bears

      I just wish we could post comments like that on the site.

    • arglebargle

      Uhoh. Trump done crossed the Rubicon.

      • David Chaillou

        More like a crossing on the way back.

    • SnarkON

      Ooh, goody, the wingnut defection from Trump will pave the way for the nomination of an even more batshit Nazi conspiracy theorist asshole in 2020!

  • specialcircumstances
  • Bobathonic
    • leemoder

      The new album is friggin’ fantastic.

  • Upright Ape

    “Here’s the bus. Please lay down, or perhaps auto fellatio is more your thing.”

  • Drink a toast to the departing Nazi corpse with the proper cocktail: The Defenestrator.

    Two parts gin, one part white male urine, one part windex, served in a used condom, garnished with a rusty razorblade.

    Good fucking riddance, you ambulatory shit-stain. You were the 6th, maybe 7th most drunken editor I have ever dealt with.

    • janecita

      I would rather have a glass of Merlot, thank you.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      I’m good with the two parts gin, but do you mind if I substitute the rest with some tonic?

      • Skeptical_thinker

        Or, in Bannon’s case, meth.

    • Bemused Australian

      You journos drink some nasty shit.

      • If someone else is buying, we ain’t picky.

        • Bemused Australian

          So it’s like being a student in perpetuity?

          • A few years ago, the po-po busted a passed-out 50-ish white lardass on my front lawn. Empty bottle of Windex at his feet, face the color of rotten beets – I was frankly surprised the man, like so many of his type, did not owe me paychecks.

          • Bemused Australian

            XD

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      You forgot the snowflake tears. It doesn’t have the same piquancy without the snowflake tears.

    • leemoder

      For a second, I thought this was going to be an actual drink. Might as well pour a gin martini w/onion into a dirty ashtray.

  • armed_bears

    You suppose Afghanistan policy is getting a lot of reasoned debate this afternoon? https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/9edb7fe435b6c8a38fee06d96fe7a29c6305e1657bb2128ea52843b1f59b4dac.jpg

    • WotsAllThisThen

      I think any generals still overseas at this point better consider themselves on their own.

      • armed_bears

        Indeed: It’s not like the rest of the world goes on hold while Don Lampturd fiddles in his toga.

    • Joe Beese

      Focused like a laser on infrastructure.

  • Vincent Ricola

    CNN has a panel on right now that’s passively-aggressively laughing at Breitbart. I love today so much.

  • stub his toe?????

    next you’ll be punching nazis!

  • MynameisBlarney
  • If you survive until the end of The Presidential Apprentice, you win a pardon.

    • OneYieldRegular

      …and a lighted tiki torch during Tribal Council.

    • Gayer Than Thou

      What happens if the show gets canceled mid-season?

  • Sean McLaren

    Breitbart :Get ready for Bannon the Barbarian

  • Wild Cat

    Is he really out? Sometimes I think they’re just play-acting when the heat gets too high. For all we know, the drunk may be a silent advisor to the pseudo-president.
    And I hope the media clowns don’t portray this as a great moral decision by the pseudo-president, who stands for everything Bannon stands for and appointed him.

    • Joe Beese

      Like when Public Enemy “fired” Professor Griff!

  • Nasty Candy Apple

    Rumor has it Gorka is on his way out, too. Dunno how true that is, though.

    • Jeffery Campbell

      Lighting a candle. Two, one for Miller also.

    • therblig

      why does trumpy hate freedom of speech?

  • mrFawkes

    In fairness to Bannon’s longevity, he lasted as long as 36 Flynns, 48 Manaforts and 112 Scaramuccis.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      and a partridge in a pear tree

    • WotsAllThisThen

      Normal people measure their time on the job in kilomooches.

      • Bemused Australian

        Kilomooches is a contender for the internet winning competition. My hat is off to you.

      • Jeffery Campbell

        We use the “Mojito” as a measure of cost. Based on my dearly departed mother’s first mojito at age 80: “How much is a (NYC bar) mojito?” “Well, that one was 16 dollars.” “What! That’s a crime.”

        Ever after, when we were discussing the cost of something, she would say, “That’s like 15 mojitos, right there!”

        I miss her….

        • Bemused Australian

          Makes more sense than the gold standard.

          • Skeptical_thinker

            Easier to make more mojitos than more gold.

          • tomamitai

            Doesn’t drinking Mojitos generate showers of gold?

          • Jeffery Campbell

            Well, minty ones at any rate!

          • Michellehgil

            Image92c

            Google is paying 97$ per hour! work for few hours and have longer with friends & family!
            On tuesday I got a great new Land Rover Range Rover from having earned $8752 this last four weeks.. Its the most-financialy rewarding I’ve had.. It sounds unbelievable but you wont forgive yourself if you don’t check it
            !ay102d:
            ➽➽
            ➽➽;➽➽ http://GoogleFinancialJobs392CashShopImage/GetPay$97/Hour ★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★:::::!ay102l..,….

        • SadDemInTex

          Love it!!! I raise a mojito to your wonderful mom

          • Baileyppfeffer

            yesterday I got a new Jaguar XJ after having earned $5816 this-past/five weeks and-also, 10k last munth . with-out a doubt this is my favourite-work Ive had . I actually started six months/ago and right away started to make more than $71 per-hour . ➤look➤ at➤ this ➤page
            ➜➜➜http://www.GoogleFinancialCashJobs555BuzzThink/Home/Wage….
            ▼▼▼▼▼▼▼▼▼▼▼▼▼▼▼▼▼▼▼▼▼▼▼▼▼▼▼▼▼▼▼▼▼▼▼▼▼▼▼▼▼▼▼▼▼▼▼▼▼▼▼▼▼▼▼▼::::ah265.

      • now, is that kilo-mooch-es or the more streetwise ki-lom-o-chaize?

    • Monsieur_Grumpe

      My Dog! Did he eat them all?

    • OneYieldRegular

      Last one to patent a clock using these time measurements is a rotten egg!

    • alpacapunchbowl
  • Bemused Australian

    Trump’s gonna need a bigger bus, or at least one with more ground clearance.

  • UncleTravelingMatt

    Oh, just fucking fuck . . . the Kushner mastermind narrative is already forming. That asshole would be out of his depth in a fucking mud puddle. He doesn’t mastermind shit.

    • Claire

      That’s unfair. I heard he picked out the sound system for his mancave in the new DC house all by himself.

    • Atheist

      Then we call it what it is – anti-Semitic garbage.

      Not saying that Kushner is a saint. Far from it. But those Nazi blowhards aren’t going to get away with dog whistles on our watch.

  • Nephilim

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/88406ed983084f5f04c8042ab2d30107e03260049e6da75687960fa405e0fced.jpg

    Boys, where’s Steve? Where’s Mooch? Where’s Reince? Nevermind.

  • P’jama Pahnts

    When any organization gets more excited about firing people then bringing good people on board, you know they are suffering a deficiency in leadership.

    • leemoder

      I know…There’s something pre-tech bust about it all.

  • AndyC316

    The opioid crisis claims another soul… laterz Bannon–the second shortest Presidency evah, but maybe the most Naziest!!

  • TheGrandWazoo2

    That was mean Chris Jansing: “Just because Bannon’s gone let’s not pretend the White House is a better place.”

    I love you.

  • Zonath

    Hoping for ex-President Bannon to flip his shit. Dude looks like he knows where the bodies are buried (dude looks like he sleeps next to the buried bodies), and is mean enough to use that knowledge to get gloriously petty revenge.

    • DrBigHead

      I think he dug the hole where the bodies are buried.

    • Bemused Australian

      I really really hope so.

  • leemoder

    tl/dr

    Wait…Race Bannon’s gone?!
    What will Jonny and Dr. Quest ever do?

    • Oblios_Cap

      Hadji and Bandit to the rescue!

      • leemoder

        I’m holding out for Jezebel Jade myself. rowr!

      • Zonath

        Hadji is still being “extreme vetted”.

    • Jeffery Campbell

      Do not blaspheme my favorite homo-erotic cartoon of all time. I’m still carrying the torch for Race and Dr. Quest.

      • leemoder

        Wouldn’t dream of it. The original JQ is my all-time fave.

  • But won’t President Bannon continue to advise Trump through Dead Breitbart — the way Trump usually gets his talking points directly from Fox News?

  • House0fTheBlueLights

    Seriously, has anyone checked the calendar? Is he eliminating a person per week like a reality tv competition?

    • Zonath

      Some weeks he mixes it up and makes it a double elimination.

    • WotsAllThisThen

      Old habits are hard to break.

    • Sometimes its more, sometimes its less. But on average, probably. If you count all the undershirt secretaries, then definitely.

    • Nephilim

      It gets good ratings. He likes good ratings.

    • P’jama Pahnts

      Can you imagine if SNL was in season right now? The writers would be freaking out.

      • tomamitai

        They have Weekend Update: Summer Edition on Thursdays.

  • Christopher Story

    I just got off a livestream of CNN. I am proud to report that the trolls are officially freaking out. The #Resistance is working! Keep it up!

  • Buh-bye, frumpy maternity frocks.
    https://us.v-cdn.net/5019629/uploads/editor/v3/0xdcwywtg3rb.gif

    hello fitted, flattering pregnancy fashions

    • Wild Cat

      IT LIVES!!!!! (Larry Cohen)

  • Bill D. Burger
    • bbayliss

      This should be saved, we’re gonna need it in about a month or so.

      • theCryptofishist

        Maggie Thatcher can’t die often enough.

  • P’jama Pahnts

    I guess Trump finds it’s always better to fire people on a Friday. Studies have statistically shown that there’s less chance of an incident if you do it at the end of the week.

  • CO

    So a schism is finally happening?

    http://i.imgur.com/cV3yOFv.png

    • Here comes the Trump Network.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      If Bannon compartmentalises it as Javanka pushing him out, we may all end up disappointed when no war against Donnie from Breitbart happens. It may be that Bannon turns his guns directly on Jared. Then things will get interesting, who does the boy king side with?

  • Christopher Story

    Guys, guys!

    “Bannon’s revenge: Breitbart reportedly ramping up for ‘thermonuclear war against’ against Trump”

    http://www.rawstory.com/2017/08/bannons-revenge-breitbart-reportedly-ramping-up-for-thermonuclear-war-against-against-trump/

    • Zonath

      If true, (the war on) Christmas comes early this year!

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      Rawstory is pretty much Berniebot fever dreams.

      • Christopher Story

        Oh.

    • theCryptofishist

      These people have never heard that “we must all hang together, or we will all hang separately.” I suppose they think Benjamin Franklin was a cuck as well.

    • Robbertjan Brandenburg

      Oh this is so sweet.

      • wide_stance_hubby

        Hate will eat itself.

    • Atheist

      “It’s now a Democrat White House”

      Yeah except it’s not and we still have Nazi hugger in chief Trump trying to destroy democracy as we know it.

      These guys have a serious case of split thinking. They ought to google that, then see a doctor for it.

    • Skeptical_thinker

      Breitfart commenters are saying essentially the same thing,

  • anon_the_great

    Fuck this Fake News. Trump never fires anyone. To whit; Corey Lewandowski

    • Rick Hill

      I was just going to say…and especially when he feels he is forced to do something

  • Me not sure

    Who knew that the night of the long knives would last 7 months? Trump is no Hitler in this respect.

  • Perkniticky

    Well, that was quite the send off. Молодец!

    • tomamitai

      He looks маринованный to me.

  • Michael Smith

    Henry VIII strikes again!

    • weighmaster

      I heard he married the widow next door…

      • tomamitai

        And every one was in NRA…

    • ThisBearMaulsFascists

      Melania’s got three tits? THAT’S the kompromat?!?

  • Crystalclear12

    How odd. Friday schadenfreude is brought to us BY the Trump administration?
    Weird.

  • Bill D. Burger

    Playing you out the door Mr. Bannon…..don’t let it hit you on the way out. ‘

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nsBByTiKfyY

    • Nephilim

      Love me some Leonard Cohen.

      • tomamitai

        The chorus? You can’t Handel the chorus!

        • willi0000000

          go Bach where you came from!

  • ButtercuptheHarelessRabbit

    I hate it when people criticize other people’s appearances and shit but damn, Time, did you have to make your cover a close up? I gagged every time I saw that issue displayed.

  • elviouslyqueer
  • Cock Blockula

    Like I said on the previous post, he’ll announce David Duke as the replacement. David said all the right things that Trump wanted to hear at the Charlottesville event.

    • Rick Hill

      I wouldn’t doubt it.
      “Bannon was just too toxic with his supremacist views. H’s gone and new blood is in, a great man, very capable. We welcome David with open arms and a hearty trump salute.”

  • janecita
  • bbayliss

    This, from breitbart:
    Wiggsy Waters • a few seconds ago
    Bannon will still be advising and I have a super hot h00ker showing up in 13 mins to give me a beautiful BJ, not kidding:-)

    priorities

    • wide_stance_hubby

      And in 14 minutes, you’ll be asleep with a dirty fleshlight in your lap.

    • Courser_Resistance

      He seems nice.

    • janecita

      Obviously, no sane person would blow him for free!

  • Bill D. Burger
  • Claire
  • Gayer Than Thou

    If Jared ever does Love Boners with black guys, I’ll probably watch.

    • wide_stance_hubby

      Would watch and lie about it later.

    • elviouslyqueer

      10/10; would fap again!

    • janecita

      I’m a straight woman, and I would probably watch, for research purposes, obviously.

    • ThisBearMaulsFascists

      Hell, I’ll bring them lube.

  • P’jama Pahnts

    Do ya think these magazines purposely make their cover pictures unflattering when they don’t like the person? I mean the lighting on Bannon looks intentionally unflattering. And, well, there’s
    https://cbsnews1.cbsistatic.com/hub/i/r/2011/08/08/5cf8d5e3-a643-11e2-a3f0-029118418759/resize/620x/d6737cd73931162af29745022902e632/Michele-Bachmann-Newsweek-cover.jpg

    • bbayliss

      Can’t fix crazy eyes and there isn’t enough photoshop in the world to make bannon look good.

      • Wee Mousie

        When Crazy Eyes is on the cover, magazine is called “Ne EEK!”

    • tomamitai

      Guess where they stuck the corn-dog to get that look out of her?

      • Reximus

        in her husband’s cornhole?

        • therblig

          so she’s a cuckette?

    • cats530
      • P’jama Pahnts

        Ho-lee-shit! Those people are scary as fuck. And she’s the perfect choice.

      • Jamoche

        “After discussing the assistance money he had received grifted in establishing this ministry from the Religious Right group C-Fam”

        FTFY

    • alpacapunchbowl

      They absolutely do, and as long as they’re not pulling racist fuckery (e.g., making OJ look darker black among MANY other examples) I enjoy it quite a bit.
      Reuters is worth following, because aside from their reporting, whoever they have picking the photos to go with the stories is a troll genius at picking the absolute derpiest pic of someone they can find.

  • Robbertjan Brandenburg

    So when exactly did the White house become the hunger games? How many people on the Barry admin were “you’re fired?”

    • Skeptical_thinker

      Michael Flynn, for one.

      • Robbertjan Brandenburg

        Yeah I consider this a glitch in the Matrix.

      • WotsAllThisThen

        The one who deserved it, as even Trump was forced to admit.

  • Nounverb911
  • Reximus

    bannon’s way more trouble for trumpy now

    • P’jama Pahnts

      Yeah. Oh darn!

    • Red Bird

      good

  • Bill D. Burger

    Bannon left to spend more time with his family: Jack Daniels, Johnny Walker and Jim Beam.

    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DHh2RSEXkAExglm.jpg

  • BearGHAZI

    Is it not against the Commenting Rules for Radicals to suggest Bannon try methamphetamine? I hear that drug does a real number on one’s pock-marked cirrhosis face

    • cats530

      It certainly couldn’t make his mug or his intellect any worse!

    • alpacapunchbowl

      “Try”?

      • IdRatherBeDancing

        Ya, more like he’s gonna double his dose.

        • alpacapunchbowl

          He doesn’t need teeth to drink scotch anyway.

          • Angela Ruzzo

            I was curious about his teeth, so I Googled photos of him, and although it is not easy to find photos of him smiling broadly, there are a few, and he appears to have rather nice teeth. Curious. Maybe they’re false teeth?

          • alpacapunchbowl

            They’ve GOT to be, right? If he lets his face look like that he can’t possibly be the type to be diligent about taking care of his chompers, can he?

          • Angela Ruzzo

            Maybe. I’ve got a friend who firmly believes that not brushing and flossing 3X every day is the only reason why everyone but her gets cavities and has bad teeth, but she’s wrong. A lot of dental problems are genetic, like mine, and some are dietary, and some are due to medical problems. Bannon’s teeth look suspiciously white, but of course web photos can be doctored.

          • alpacapunchbowl

            I know it’s possible to overbrush and erode your tooth enamel, but that’s only if you’re ocd and brushing 6-7 times a day like a woman I used to work with.

          • Angela Ruzzo

            That’s true. But some lucky people are born with very strong, thick enamel (my friend), and others aren’t so lucky (me). I was born with Oligodontia – I am congenitally missing 11 teeth – which runs in my family, but most of my relatives are only missing 2 or 3, so I got a genetic whammy. I had to wear braces for 3 years, and braces can do bad things to your teeth.

    • ThisBearMaulsFascists

      Well, apparently you can hope for him to stub his big toe!! What kind of anarchy has this place descended to? What’s next — are they going to allow comments??

  • Jesse
    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      “This is fine.”

  • Monsieur_Grumpe

    Screen door, your ass, you know the routine.

    • Raan

      “Box. Your stuff. Out the front door. Parking lot. Car. Goodbye.”

  • Lyly Sirivong
    • Christopher Story

      It should’ve been Spicer peaking out from behind the fronds.

    • OneYieldRegular

      That show is never going to run out of tiki torches.

  • eyelashviper

    Breitbart on fire, vowing revenge on the Shitgibbon for kicking their Precious Leader from the cabal…sweet!!

  • “M”
  • HazooToo
    • Bemused Australian

      Bottom right is Chameleon Cloud Strife!

    • Lyly Sirivong

      …while looking bored as hell.

  • Atheist
  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    The loss of Mr. Bannon, the right-wing nationalist who helped propel some of Mr. Trump’s campaign promises into policy reality, raises the potential for the president to face criticism from the conservative news media base that supported him over the past year.

    World’s smallest violin for you, assholes…

  • Crystalclear12

    Would’ve preferred him getting perp walked out with his puppet.

  • Monsieur_Grumpe
  • Joe Beese

    You realize that CNN is going to hire him before month’s end.

    • Crystalclear12

      Well, someone has to replace Jeffrey Lord.

    • Bemused Australian

      Nah. No amount of make up wizardry can make that mug palatable to a teevee audience.

      • ThisBearMaulsFascists

        They’ll try to pixelate him, but the computers will all blue-screen.

  • Crystalclear12

    He brought the Mercers on board, didn’t he?
    Hmmmm. . .

  • Bill D. Burger

    Trump: ‘My well oiled machine won’t miss him. It will run as smoothly as ever. Believe me.”

    https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/originals/fc/d3/70/fcd370185d5abbd5cfd25dad9865644d.gif

  • MynameisBlarney

    Best tweet of the year…Maybe of all time, by @matthewamiller:

    “If you’ve wondered what you would have done in 1930s Germany or
    during the civil rights movement, congratulations: you’re doing it now.”

    ………………………………………….

    You are either doing it right…or you are doing it wrong. Your choice.

    • Courser_Resistance

      I kind of have a thing for Matthew Miller. It’s kinda weird and wrong, but okay.

      • Changeling

        He looks like an android, but yeah.

        • Courser_Resistance

          Yes, first thing I noticed about him. I think he’s kind of like Jeff Goldblum for me. I’m fascinated by them both but only in the slightest of sexxxy ways. It’s something way more than that. Cuz I really don’t get tingly over tv people as a general rule.

      • MynameisBlarney

        He looks like the lovechild of Kyle McLaughlin and Bob Odenkirk.

  • OTB

    The Great Methipulator?
    Count Crackula?
    Count Suckhisowndickula?

    • george lastrapes

      He’s a Rosacean, a Knight of the Scarlet Gin Blossom, but no longer the Hand of the Great Strumpet, nor the PeeResident’s Grand Wizzear. He is now the Eminence Greeze.

  • Christopher Story
  • lucidamente

    Taibbi weighs in:

    http://www.rollingstone.com/politics/features/taibbi-fire-steve-bannon-w498354

    His conclusion:

    “And that’s exactly why Bannon has to be fired. Trump once again has proved this week that by himself, he is too incompetent to marshal the political energy that swept him into office. The man is incapable of self-control or long-term strategic thought, and on some level, thank God for that.

    “But Bannon is the one person in that White House who we know for sure both embraces a white supremacist ideology and has a vision for how to implement it. The mere threat of that, that Trump’s political energy might somehow be married to a sober strategy, is terrifying and unacceptable. Bannon saved Trump’s political career once. He can’t be allowed to do it again; he has to go, and finally let Trump drown on his own.”

    • alpacapunchbowl

      “Sober” wouldn’t be my choice of word in a sentence referring to Bannon, but I’m not a professional writer so what do I know.

      • ThisBearMaulsFascists

        Meth inks that was on advice of counsel.

  • Jgb979

    Don’t get me wrong: unambiguous + for the nation

    What prompted this???

    Shit baby jealous of another interview stealing the spotlight??

    Figured the White House was safe for all Nazis after last week

    • Sean McLaren

      Trump hates it when people try and tell him what to do, and Bannon has moved recently from trying to cajole and manipulate him to, in that TAP interview, flat out strong arming him.

      • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

        I’d put my money on that it was all those people calling him President Bannon

  • WotsAllThisThen

    The Bannon are easily spooked, but they’ll be back and in greater numbers.

    • ManchuCandidate

      “A hive of scum and villainy, but we’re still 12 parsecs better than the Trump White House.”
      -Mos Eisley Tourism Board

  • Ryan Denniston

    “Bannon is reportedly insisting he submitted his resignation on August 7”

    August 7th is Robert Mueller’s birthday. COINCIDENCE???!?!?1!?1

    • Angela Ruzzo

      August 6th is the anniversary of Hiroshima, that would have been an interesting date to choose.

  • OneYieldRegular

    Do we know for sure that this is good news? Won’t Trump just replace Bannon with somebody like Richard Spencer?

    • Bill D. Burger

      David Duke still available?

      It’s scary that doesn’t sound like the joke it’s intended to be.

      • Msgr_MΩment

        Just part of Steve Bannon’s long-term plan to Deconstruct Snark.

        • alpacapunchbowl

          They can pry my snark from my cold, dead hands.

      • ThisBearMaulsFascists

        Dear God: When I said I wanted 1992 to come back, I only meant Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch.

  • Vincent Ricola

    I’m reading quite a few “impeachment might end up being the best course of action” comments from the white male wingnut delegation. Donald better have his big boy panties on because things are about to get very shitty.

    • Atheist

      I’m thinking long term and hoping people will FINALLY stop voting Republican after this disgraceful fucking shitshow of an administration. This was their doing they need to own it and have a lengthy time out with votes. I mean actual votes, too.

      • Angela Ruzzo

        The Trump supporters I know (about half the people in my subdivision) would not abandon Trump no matter what he did. Seriously. If he kicked puppies and strangled some kittens on live TV, they would still not abandon him, they would just say the videos were faked.

        • mary5920

          ‘I don’t know half of you half as well as I should like; and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve.’

          • willi0000000

            so . . . you want half-and-half in that coffee?

      • Claire

        Only if there’s an alternative that’s not the Democrats. Many of them have been fed such a ration of hate about liburls and soshulsts and George Soros that they wouldn’t vote Dem if Jesus Christ were on the ticket.

  • Bill D. Burger

    NBC and CNN are reporting this this was Kelly’s decision. He and Bannon had a ‘talk’ and they ‘agreed’ that today would be Bannon’s last day.
    Trump simply, and like the coward he is, just reluctantly signed off on it.

    • Paperless Tiger

      Makes sense. Bannon has made no bones about the fact that he wants to destroy the American government.

  • La forza del resistino

    With Bannon out, does this mean Stephen Miller is out of work? We have a revival production of ‘David Copperfield’ this fall in my town and could keep the Uriah Heep role open with you in mind. Call me, Stephen.

    • BeachBum

      With the “your fireds” you could make it a reality show.

  • BearLeft

    Wow, that’s the best new I’ve heard since I managed to scrape that shit off my shoe last week. I don’t believe for a minute that he’s letting go of the marionette strings moving T-Rump’s tiny hands and primitive brain stem. But it’ll be nice not having to see his bloated pustule of a face quite so often.

  • Carpe Vagenda

    I just realized something. With Miller latching onto Jared and Ivanka like a lamprey and Kelly ascendant, I’ll bet the chances of Assange cutting some kind of deal with the White House just got a whole lot slimmer.

  • jesterpunk
    • RobKanC

      Is this for real?

      • jesterpunk

        Yep

        • RobKanC

          Oh Lordy!!!

  • Msgr_MΩment

    Tune in next week when Donnie John You’re Fireds Mike Pence.

    “I don’t see any job description and he just keeps stalking me. Sad. Pathetic.”

  • diogenez

    Get rid of Gorka next.

  • MynameisBlarney

    “On this tragic day for America, let’s remember the tender side of Steve Bannon.”

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=STC_AyZX3bA

    • wide_stance_hubby

      Thanks?

      Seriously, thanks. Had forgotten that nugget.

  • Bub, the cynical zombie

    Breitbart going nuts over Bannon’s sayonara. Someone should have read some Machiavelli to Donnie:

    “People should either be caressed or crushed. If you do them minor damage they will get their revenge; but if you cripple them there is nothing they can do. If you need to injure someone, do it in such a way that you do not have to fear their vengeance.”

    ― Niccolò Machiavelli

    https://media2.giphy.com/media/12aW6JtfvUdcdO/200w.gif#3-grid3

    • Ryan Denniston

      Donald is not a star.

      “And when you’re a star, they let you do it,” Trump says. “You can do anything.”

      “Grab them by the p—y,” Trump says. “You can do anything.”

      – Donald J. Trump

  • Bill D. Burger

    Did he get to take his portrait with him? Or did Donny keep it to fap to?

    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DHh6YbmUQAAMq-x.jpg

  • SadDemInTex
  • TheGrandWazoo2

    Bannon, Priebus, Spicer, and Flynn walk into a bar and the bartender says “Fuck you guys.”

    • leemoder

      And throws a heavy ashtray at them.

    • wide_stance_hubby

      Sets bar on fire and walks.

    • alpacapunchbowl

      If only there was some way to recreate that scene in Memento.

  • Bill D. Burger
    • Msgr_MΩment

      What kind of man shits out his armpits??

      • Bill D. Burger

        A man who is absolutely full of shit.

  • exinkwretch

    Pity the poor crew that has to fumigate Bannon’s office. I bet the stench of swamp ass and toe jam would make a buzzard gag.

    • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

      Pay no attention to the bathtub in the private bathroom

  • Dutchman

    Well bless his heart…

  • mary5920

    Perhaps Bannon could invite all the other lobsters to hang out with him at the site of the battle of Gettysburg, and they could reenact the fight with each other. The NRA can open a stand to sell them all the weaponry they might ever want. Most people want the Civil War to really be over, except for these confederate phonies.

    • Covfefe

      “The River of Blood.” If The Donald will let Steve onto his golf course.

    • BeachBum

      The museum has a ton. Including swords, daggers, bayonets, and grapeshot.
      I would watch that on tee vee also too.

  • ManchuCandidate

    Maybe he should have sucked a dick besides his own.

    • BeachBum

      IKR ? And now without the Mooch we are at a most dearthful paucity of intel of who is auto-fellatioing and who isn’t. Not to mention butt sex, so I wont.

  • IdRatherBeDancing

    Hmmmm. We have not heard from good ol’ Kellyann in a while — think she is reposed in a shallow grave in the Rose Garden? She and the other deplorables known as the entire Trump administration (save the generals — see how fucked that is) need to be next.

    • Atheist

      Agreed!

  • Joshua Norton

    How much do you want to bet that it was Bannon who filled Donnie’s wooden head with all those “Both sides did it” and “Nazi’s are nice” bull crap talking points he was spewing?

    Hey, Steve welcome to “Dancing With The Stars: Fired Trump Staff Edition”

    • Catstro

      Nah, I think those thoughts were rattling around his head already

    • Claire

      Trump was barring African-Americans from his apartments decades ago and his father was in the KKK. Bannon’s not where he learned it.

      • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

        AND his grandfather was a German immigrant who ran brothels. This is who Trump is.

    • jodyleek

      They’ll have to do at least two seasons. Too many dancers.

  • Changeling

    I think using Hide media today was probably a good decision.

  • CindyinEncinitas

    To the oozy jacuzzi with you, scum bucket!

  • Dartemus

    This means no more White House leaks, right?

    • Bill D. Burger

      According to the latest leaks, they think this will end it.

      • BeachBum

        Brawhahahaha ! Sir, you are the finest practitioner of Irony of many days whence. I would tip my hat if I were wearing one !

    • WIDTAP

      We still have Ivanka.

  • Bub, the cynical zombie

    Donnie reduced to retweeting Hugh Hewitt now. I mean, that’s really pathetic.

    • Wild Cat

      Next the fucker will be reduced to eating his own steaks and trying to lay a hickey on Ann Coulter’s Adam’s apple.

      Now THAT’S hitting bottom . . .

      • Bub, the cynical zombie

        Ann gets a little anxious when people get too close, but she gentles right down if you give her a handful of sugar cubes and a nice carrot.

        • Wild Cat

          It’s funny—she’s openly anti-Semitic, but she performs coitus with Jews. We can this to the Wingnut Surreal List.

        • BeachBum

          And runs a piss poor Preakness.

    • BeachBum

      Hugh Hewitt knows nothing. He waxes nostalgic on Great Conservative Things that never really happened. “If, coulda, woulda, shoulda” is not a policy or even an ideology. He makes parasites look useful. Msnbc are dumbasses for letting him on.

  • BeachBum

    Great post Evan ! Thanks ! Aunt Betty ! Prolly her dog too ! I thought Banana Republic went out of business but what do I know !

  • HazooToo

    I wonder if they thought this was some sort of sacrifice? Like, “I’m going to be the biggest asshole possible so Trump looks good for firing me”? I wonder if they tried to pull this months earlier, with the cuck thing, but Trump didn’t understand the game and didn’t do his part?

    • Spurning Beer

      Yeah, I think this is supposed to get Two Scoops off the hot seat about being a racist bigot nazi fascist.

    • DrBigHead

      We will have to see how Breitbart reacts. If they completely turn on Trump, as they are suggesting, then the answer is no.

    • Wild Cat

      Yes, it’s optics. They’re still fascists, all of them, and their policies won’t change.
      They just have to find a way to appease or distract their wingnuts. I hate to think what’s next from these assholes.

    • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

      I think it’s more that Bannon knew he was out so went out on his own terms, calling the press and attacking Gen. Kelly so (a) he could attack Kelly publicly (b) perhaps weaken Kelly and (c) make it look like he was fired bc he was telling the truth about N. Korea

  • BigCSouthside

    What are the odds Bannon has the pee pee tape?

  • Bub, the cynical zombie

    Don’t get too comfortable Mike. You can be sure Donnie knows you’re getting ready to take his place:

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/9bab650545af7f33b0d818df826fd3f12fc96dca148b7009fb26cde626bc543e.jpg

    • Joshua Norton

      There is a kind of “All About Eve” vibe coming from Pence.

      • Vincent Ricola

        Kind of?

      • Msgr_MΩment

        And now, it’s no longer Eve and Steve.

      • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

        It’s Donald and EVE, not Donald and STEVE.

      • wide_stance_hubby

        Seatbelt fastened.

    • Mehmeisterjr

      Spence. The Other Manchurian Candidate 2020!

  • Msgr_MΩment

    Does that make this Festivus in August?

    • PubOption

      It would have to start now, to get the airing of grievances over by the end of the year.

  • Sean McLaren
    • armed_bears

      Shortly later: “Taking some time off Twitter to write my first article for Breitbart.”

      Really. I may have to read.

    • RobKanC

      Is this real or parody?

      • armed_bears

        real, FFS. As is the one below.

      • Sean McLaren

        parody,I think

      • Changeling

        It says “White House Chief Strategist. Parody account.”

    • altleftjohn

      Siddow, yer not funny!

  • Joe Beese

    The Salvation Army, the American Red Cross and Susan G. Komen on Friday joined a growing exodus of organizations canceling plans to hold fundraising events at the Mar-a-Lago Club in Palm Beach, deepening the financial impact to President Trump’s private business amid furor over his comments on Charlottesville.

    The major exits now mean seven of the club’s biggest event customers have abandoned it in a matter of hours, likely costing the Trump business hundreds of thousands of dollars in lost revenue or more.

    https://www.washingtonpost.com/business/economy/salvation-army-red-cross-and-other-groups-abandon-trumps-mar-a-lago/2017/08/18/9fb14172-842e-11e7-b359-15a3617c767b_story.html

    • willi0000000

      that just means he’s gonna move the entire White House staff there . . . in rented rooms and make us pay for memberships for all of them.

    • chump change

  • We don’t need to get rid of them, we need even more beautiful statues and memorials to learn from:

    We need a statue of the European hunter with his elephant rifle posed on a train in front of a mountain of buffalo bones

    And one of an Indian Village being raided by a Calvary, shooting women and children from their horses as they emerge from their teepees

    And one of a plantation owner in the doorway of a little shack with a whip, the family cowering against a wall of poorly aligned planks in shackles

    And one of a huge mountain of Indian corpses in pewter commemorated with a single word on bronze – “smallpox”

    And a life-size recreation of JP Morgan’s Morgan Town with JP Morgan larger than life in the center of it.

    One of Clinton getting a blowjob while inserting a cigar in Monica’s twat.

    And one of Trump snorting coke and crank with Bannon and KellyAnne in the whitehouse bathroom while Melania lays on a nearby bed naked embracing her female lover…. well, maybe it would be too soon for that.

    Have we got one of James Booth prominent at an intersection in Selma?

    How about a statue the size of the Lincoln Memorial of a black man hung by a tree branch with “whistled at a white woman” on the plaque?… or just “nigger”

    • Red Bird

      You’re in a good mood today. 0_o

    • PubOption

      It sounds a bit like Burroughs’ Thanksgiving rant.

      • This…..a hundred sixteenth of Dilaudid…this should earn you an indulgence ! As he puts the bottle down on his old bible

  • Righteous Action Jack

    He’s blowing up my teevee right now and damned if that creature doesn’t need a shower in the worst way.

    • P’jama Pahnts

      I’ll bet he sleeps in his clothes How many different shirts has he been seen in, I wonder?

      • Righteous Action Jack

        One and a half shirts or three half shirts, take your pick.

        • Relativicus

          I choose the least number of half-shirts.

      • Oblios_Cap

        One might be forgiven for thinking that a Goldman Sachs alum could afford decent clothing.

  • JoeChristmas

    Pepe has left the swamp.

  • Msgr_MΩment

    “Abi gezunt dos leben ken men zikh ale mol nemen.” Translated it means roughly, “Stay healthy, because you can vote yourself later.” https://thoughtcatalog.com/nico-lang/2013/10/61-hilarious-yiddish-insults-you-need-to-know/

    • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

      There is NOTHING better than Yiddish curses. There’s another one that’s “May you lose all your teeth but one, and may that one have a severe toothache.”

      • altleftjohn

        “May his name be erased.”

      • Werewolf

        “He should be like a lamp-he should hang by day and burn by night.”

    • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

      May your childrens’ children never forget your fame: gargling your own weenus.

    • Angela Ruzzo

      I’ve been quoting Shakespeare a lot lately.

      – Would thou wert clean enough to spit upon!
      – Would thou wouldst burst!
      – Thou cold sciatica, cripple our senators, that their limbs may halt! (this is a good one – I have sciatica myself, it’s agony)
      – More direful hap betide that hated wretch (this one is hard to say after 3 beers)
      – I do desire we may be better strangers.
      – Blasts and fogs upon thee!

  • Manders

    Hey mods? We have a subliterate troll in today’s Heather Heyer post, where one least needs to be. Could someone put it out of its misery?

    • Angela Ruzzo

      That’s exactly the kind of post that subliterate trolls like best. Real Men don’t pick on dead women, but Nazis love to pick on helpless people who can’t fight back.

  • JoeChristmas

    Just another loser associated with the Swindler IC. Sick of winning yet?

  • Joe Beese
    • RobKanC

      He would be a great president when he fires himself.

    • jesterpunk
    • Bemused Australian

      That isn’t even one a week. If this was ‘The Apprentice’, his producers wouldn’t be pleased about the slack performance.

      • Jennaratrix

        I’m not a producer, but I’m really not pleased with his slack performance. Does that count?

        • Bemused Australian

          You are a Trump supporter? Shame!

          • Jennaratrix

            Ah, no. Not even close.

          • Bemused Australian

            Was just kidding. Not a very good joke on my part. Sad.

          • Jennaratrix

            Bigly sad. Pathetic. :-)
            (My joke was also a little lame. I’m tired, it’s been a hell of a week.)

    • Bub, the cynical zombie

      If only he had hired “the best people,” instead of a rabble of racist, grifting, loser assholes.

      • Rachel Book Harlot

        But that’s Tump’s definition of best people…

    • jodyleek

      Also too, the manufacturing councils and the arts council. Saw they all just resigned.

  • CO
    • Joshua Norton

      Nothing says “Master Race” like liver spots and scotch bloat.

      • Mehmeisterjr

        Liver Spots and Scotch Bloat is the name of my new alt-right garage band. We combine Electro-Bagpipes and Deli Specials.

    • Raan

      I have it on good authority that ‘bird’s alive.

  • Wolf Tracker

    Breitbart in total fucking meltdown and Trumps base saying they are leaving him.

    Can’t wait to see Trumps next poll numbers.

    Going to run to town and listen to Rush and Hannity and see how they are spinning this to make firing Bannon a good thing for Trump.

    • Wild Cat

      You have a strong stomach. I haven’t hit Breitbart since I was banned for life.

      • Wolf Tracker

        Some of us monitor their activity there in case we need to report threats.

        • Wild Cat

          I know . . . media watch-dogging. Good luck, and hope you have a nice shot of booze to cope.

      • JoeChristmas

        Like 7 or 8 years ago when they 1st opened I used to go there under the moniker of Mike Hawkstrong and say shit like “Palin is the smartest and hottest.” It was fun for a few weeks. El Pinche used to troll them too. Good times. Then they became the hell hole that it is.

  • (((fka_donnie_d)))

    I think we’re past the point where Trump’s bullshit can be explained by the “influence” of Gorka and Miller.

  • Mehmeisterjr

    I feel sorry for all the fine folks, they are wonderful folks, incredibly great folks, who produce German porn for us. They have toiled day and night for us, over many decades, to produce the most stomach-churning porn. Piss porn, caca porn. S&M that makes the Marquis de Sade look like a Boy Scout a prominent speaker at the Boy Scout Jamboree.

    Acid-bathtub porn, though. That’s a new one.

    Steve Bannon: Making America Gross Again.

    • Acid-bathtub porn, though. That’s a new one.
      ——
      Keep up, man!

      That’s replaced rage.

    • Russell Jones

      Also toileted day and night for us.

  • Out of respect for Bannon, the White House will be flying the flag at half mast tonight
    http://media.gettyimages.com/photos/the-nazi-flag-at-half-mast-over-the-german-embassy-in-carlton-house-picture-id91115246

    • Black lights at the White House.

    • Bill D. Burger

      A delay the daily fumigation of his office for one hour out of respect.

  • Joe Beese
  • Raan

    Strap in, folks, it’s all falling apart like a Chinese motorcycle.

  • goonemeritus

    I thought this news would cheer me up when it inevitably was announced but I still find significant reason to day drink. While it was certainly true that Bannon was a constant force pulling the Trump administration towards the most evil possible direction, Trump needs very little encouragement to make these moves on his own. Still it is movement in the direction of goodness so yeah I guess?

    • Claire

      He doesn’t need any encouragement at all. That’s no reason not to be happy about Bannon’s ouster. Don’t be cheered up because you think it will have any effect at all on Trump or his policies; be cheered up because Bannon is a loathsome human being who thoroughly deserved to be shitcanned.

      • goonemeritus

        He is without any doubt loathsome and deserves never to work again or to be in the company of descent humans.

  • Jamoche

    Love ya, Borowitz: https://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/trump-boasts-that-his-impeachment-will-get-higher-tv-ratings-than-all-other-impeachments

    …Donald Trump boasted that, if he is impeached, the television ratings will be higher than those of any other impeachment in history.

    “Everywhere I go, people tell me that if I am impeached, they’re going to watch it,” he said. “The ratings are going to be through the roof.”

    Satire has become truth so often, I have high hopes for this one.

  • Bub, the cynical zombie

    Daily Variety reports Bannon will be going on to star in an off-Broadway production of “10 Little Deplorables.”

  • Reximus
  • David Chaillou

    Would you believe there’s nary a Trump tweet on this?

    • Raan

      He’s waiting for his 3 AM potty time.

    • Notreelyhelping

      By tomorrow morning, he’ll be quoting “Mandy” on Twitter.

  • Saxo the Grammarian

    The fatal coup? He always left the toilet seat up.

    • jodyleek

      He’s housebroken?

  • Joe Beese

    As a presidential candidate, Donald Trump praised autocrats and exhibited strongman tendencies. But as president of the United States, Trump is proving to be one of the weakest, most disinterested executives in memory. He seems happy — even eager — to be both operationally and ideologically marginalized inside his own administration. …

    American politics is hurtling toward a very strange place. The president of the United States is clearly unfit for the job, but the good news, to the extent that there is good news, is that everyone around him knows it, and he is willing to be sidelined as long as no one takes away his phone. Whether he is being marginalized by his own administration or choosing to marginalize himself I don’t know, but Bannon’s ouster is another piece of evidence that Trump is interested in Twitter, not Trumpism.

    https://www.vox.com/policy-and-politics/2017/8/18/16169464/steve-bannon-fired-donald-trump

    • Jamoche

      I’m not so sure about the “willing to be sidelined”. He has no clue what the job actually involves but he sure as hell wants to be seen as doing it. Attempts to sideline him or tell him “no” results in things like the transgender tweet or the “fire and fury” shit.

    • george lastrapes

      Could be that a military coup has already taken place, and no one knows it, least of all the PeeResident.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    What does WaPo’s Jennifer Rubin think?

    Don’t fall for the White House spin on Stephen Bannon’s ouster

    Maybe Bannon appealed to Trump’s worst instincts, but honestly, does the president have any good ones? It is said that Bannon’s pro-Russian views made for constant tension with hawkish advisers, but does anyone think Trump is not compromised in some fashion when it comes to Russian President Vladimir Putin? Bannon was the faux intellectual giving direction and form to Trump’s views, but Trump’s deeply warped views, glaring ignorance and defective character are the root of the problem. Trump will still talk to allies harboring the same worldview, will still tweet impulsively, will still repeat discredited hoaxes and will still be unfit for the presidency. And most ominously, the Russia investigation will still grind on, and Trump will no doubt lash out at both the special prosecutor and the media. This personnel move may buy him a brief pause in the chaos, but his presidency is living on borrowed time.

    Pretty much…

    • I just finished the op-ed and you beat me to the linky.
      Quick draw, Callyson.

    • WotsAllThisThen

      You lost me at “Jennifer Rubin think”

    • Relativicus

      That upvote is for you, not Rubin. She can go staple her buttcheeks to a rabid wallaby for all I care.

      • elviouslyqueer

        Pouring one out for that poor rabid wallaby.

        • Oblios_Cap

          Why does he hate wallabies?

        • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

          Wallaby is to kangaroo like alt-right is to Nazi.

    • armed_bears

      I appreciate her getting that in under the wire for Sabbath, and can’t wait to read her posts Sunday… She has been consistently on target for seven months. She completes me.

      • IdRatherBeDancing

        I am trying to determine which of the Lady Conservatives hates POS 45 more — Jennifer Rubin or Nicolle Wallace — seems neck and neck.

        • WomanInThePersistence

          Ana Navarro ftw!

        • armed_bears

          I’m just happy whenever anyone can change their frickin’ mind these days.

    • Joe Beese

      I challenge all these “he’s doomed” peddlers to explain, with specifics, the mechanism that will remove him from power.

      • janecita

        The 25th amendment. My theory is that he has senile dementia, pretty soon, he is going to start throwing his shit at people, that will be the end of his presidency.

        • Skeptical_thinker

          Who among elected members of Congress have not thrown their own feces at others? Who, I ask? Let those among you who have not done so vote to remove this man from office.

      • georgiaburning

        So let’s consider the probabilities:
        -Impeachment = very low until 2019 unless Mueller really finds some horrible shit
        -Resignation = low, we’re talking about an egomaniac, after all
        -25th Amendment = medium; the language of the document is vague, probably on purpose
        -direct coup de etat= dog help us, unknown territory, we are hoping for decent generals who will allow Constitutional process quickly

        • David Chaillou

          How about meltdown? They put Trump on Lexotan and let the Goldman Sachs guys and generals run the show. The GOP cheers.

    • IdRatherBeDancing

      I wish I could discern what Jennifer really thinks of Trump.

      • janecita

        She is very ambiguous;-)

    • laughingnome

      I used to not like Jen, but Trump has brought out the best in her.

      • Oblios_Cap

        I still can’t stand her. Blind pig, acorn,. etc.

  • TheGrandWazoo2

    I think I’m going to dream in snark for my afternoon nap today.

  • Bill D. Burger

    Breitbart editor declares war after Bannon ouster.

    …Twitter does its thing in response.

    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DHh5NL7VYAAJtuu.jpg

  • Michael R
  • Bill D. Burger
    • Reximus

      BB really think they’re something

    • bookish

      Yawn.

    • Joe Beese

      Remember: “globalists” = “money Jews”

      • Msgr_MΩment

        (((globalists)))

        • Zippy W Pinhead

          (((Cosmopolitans)))

          • Skeptical_thinker

            {{{Manhattans}}}

            Straight up, rocks on the side.

    • Crank Tango

      Yeah, but what about the cucks?

    • Raan

      They’re going to need Neptune’s Infinity Trident if they want to go toe-to-toe with the Five Jew Bankers.

  • Relativicus

    They really don’t understand how this Friday News Dump is supposed to go, do they? Listen, White House, Friday News Dump is for very important stuff you don’t want the public to pay much attention to and usually involves important stuff the public is not generally very interested in hearing about anyway. Get your shit together.

    Heh…

    • CindyinEncinitas

      That’s the one thing that has given me hope in these dark days. The fact that they seem to be pathologically adverse to getting their shit together.

  • Joe Beese
  • Bub, the cynical zombie

    As LBJ once said: “I’d rather have him inside the tent pissing out, than outside the tent pissing in.”

    Judging by Bannon’s appearance, his urine is at least infectious, if not actually corrosive.

    • Mehmeisterjr

      Bannon was inside the tent pissing in. Now that he is outside, a simple splash guard could be an improvement.

  • Walter Wellstone

    Anyone following Moscow Mike Cernovich? What does that piece of shit have to say about this?

    • MynameisBlarney

      It will probably have something to do with magic spoo if he does.

      • Msgr_MΩment

        I’m sure he doesn’t miss a single drop.

    • jesterpunk
      • WotsAllThisThen

        Worst. Summit expedition. Ever.

        • Jimh

          I need oxygen just looking at it.

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        so we’ve finally located Bullshit Mountain…

        • jesterpunk

          That is an early shot of it from 2012.

  • Zippy W Pinhead

    The more I’m reading, the more it sounds like Bannon is talking about going medieval on Trump’s enemies, not Trump himself. Our celebrations may be a bit premature. While I’m glad he’s out of the WH, the best case scenario of it being war between the WH and Breitbart may not happen. Instead, Bannon will just be even less constrained in his quest to sow chaos and fuck shit up. It all depends on whether he goes after Javanka, or concentrates on Kelly and McMaster

    • Bub, the cynical zombie

      Even if he doesn’t directly attack Trump, I don’t see how he can go after administration officials without damaging him. This will weaken the administration further, which is the best we can hope for right now.

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        I am hoping that it’s ineptly executed and that the backbiting causes them trouble. I just don’t see all out war between Trump and Breitbart happening

    • WotsAllThisThen

      I think it’s more likely he goes after his real “opposition party,” the free press.

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        The MSM, the Joos, Libtards, IOW the usual suspects

      • Red Bird

        The landscape has changed since he was at Brightfart. I’m sure that’s where he’s going but I’m not sure that he will accomplish what he wants.

  • Red Bird

    So if we do a diagram of coincidences that occurred in the past week, we will notice that Pence was called back on Tuesday, Bannon’s butt dial was on Tuesday and Mueller’s investigator joined the FBI on Tuesday. Am I off a day or two? Anyway, good.

  • Bill D. Burger
  • Carpe Vagenda
    • jesterpunk

      How is he going to do that when the cyber security experts keep quitting?

      • WotsAllThisThen

        I hear he has an 11 year old who’s real good with computers.

        • Longstreet63

          But does he weigh 400 pounds?

      • Beowoof14

        What’s he going to do when they point out that the Russian Election team known as “Fancy Bear”, is helping his election campaign.

      • Changeling

        He can get new ones from Russia.

        • jesterpunk

          He already tried that.

      • Carpe Vagenda

        The 400 lb guy in NJ gets two scoops?

    • TheGrandWazoo2

      So, Barron is getting his allowance raised?

      • weejee

        snap

    • Oblios_Cap

      Too bad there’s no one working there.

  • UncleTravelingMatt

    Re-creation of Bannon breaking the news of his resignation to the Breitbart nazis:

    https://youtu.be/mo10xiHvR_c

  • Mehmeisterjr

    Is Bannon dumb enough to book himself onto The Late Show?

    • Beowoof14

      You mean is he Scaramuci dumb? Hmmm, tough question.

      • BeachBum

        Brawhaha !

  • ltmcdies
    • Beowoof14

      FUCK OFF MILO, ah that feels better.

    • janecita

      Milo who?

    • elviouslyqueer

      NOBODY GIVES A SHIT, YOU WHINY SISSY BOTTOM.

    • Bemused Australian

      Relevance deprivation syndrome is not cured by wearing aviators indoors.

    • alpacapunchbowl

      I’m almost disappointed that I’ve been unfriended by most of the RWNJ acquaintances and family members I had on fb who were into posting Milofarts. Oh to be a fly on the wall…
      But my mental health is much the better for it, so score one for me.

      • BeachBum

        You ain’t just shittin’ kittens. Since the election my holidays and such have been smaller but better. Not a cliché : quality over quantity.

    • WomanInThePersistence

      FUCK OFF MILO!!!

    • Jamoche

      Keep your wank-off fantasies to yourself, that’s a good boy.

    • IdRatherBeDancing

      LMAO — he’d have to shake off his drunken stupor and get off the pizza-crust ridden sofa first. Which ain’t a gonna happen.

      • BeachBum

        He still a rich spoiled brat. I learned in college to eat the crusts.

    • greyXstar

      Who was the barbarian that ruthlessly crushed his highlights?

    • Raan

      *clap clap clap-clap-clap*

      • Skeptical_thinker

        There used to be pills for that.

    • jodyleek

      Oh Milo, you ignorant slut! Bannon wouldn’t piss on you if you were on fire. You are just a circus sideshow freak for the “alt-right” and you know it.

    • Mehmeisterjr

      What was that about raping little boys?

    • Jimh

      …But by crush, I mean “suck” and by Enemies I mean “his own dick”….

  • eastcoastlib

    After this week. A week that saw the president confirm he’s a fucking Nazi White Nationalist at heart. The only significant person in the White House leaving is Steve Bannon? Trump choose his cabinet wisely. They are all weak pussies and sycophants. Do any of them have an ounce of self respect left? Apparently not

    • Electric Ukulele Land

      Future weeks:

      “Yes the president sexually assaulted their head of state, but he did not actually rape her. Technically”

      “The president was only musing out loud about having his enemies murdered. That did not amount to an an actual order to kill them.”

      “Lots of people have caused Armageddon.”

  • Beowoof14

    Well this is a call to pick up a box of wine for an impromptu home drinky thing. Since I appear to be the only guy here from WNY.

    • alpacapunchbowl

      I’ll join you in spirit once I’m done with work.
      Don’t forget to pick up some popcorn too!
      Pro tip: I used to work in the wine industry and by thoroughly researched trial and error we determined that an unoaked Chard is an ideal pairing with popcorn.

      • CindyinEncinitas

        Thank you for your service.

  • TheGrandWazoo2

    If the Nazis back Bannon and the KKK backs Trump, which side will the rest of the GOP choose?

  • Bill D. Burger
  • Mr. Blobfish

    Holy Crap! I leave you guys alone for a couple of hours and you blow the whole damn place up.

    • Joe Beese

      I felt anguished leaving for 20 minutes to go get lunch.

    • MynameisBlarney

      Well, it wasn’t OUR fault you left out all those fireworks, matches and gas cans now is it?

    • WomanInThePersistence

      IK, R?

  • Carpe Vagenda
    • BillEGoatSmirk

      We love Amy! Can’t wait to hear more from her as 2018 gets closer.

  • JoeChristmas

    The Mercer’s are pissed?

    • Wild Cat

      Yeah—in their own mouths. It’s on Pornhub.

    • Bill D. Burger

      Bigly!

  • Bill D. Burger

    Breitbart’s staff is getting Bannon’s old office ready to welcome him home.

    https://horrorpediadotcom.files.wordpress.com/2014/01/demons-in-hell.gif?w=499&h=377

    • OneWhiteWhisker

      Looks a lot like the HR department at my old job…

  • Joe Beese

    WHERE’S IVANKA? WE NEED HER MODERATING INFLUENCE.

    • WotsAllThisThen

      She’s probably out moderating Putin’s girlfriend on a yacht somewhere.

    • Jamoche

      Eww… I’ve just realized who Ivanka is in the Le Petomane cabinet: https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/ac5ed0a4438729fb393c5037caabc1b100f793362ed2d8562a092b9fe80bdadd.png

      • OneWhiteWhisker

        Now imagine Sarah Huckabee in that same outfit.
        Happy Friday!

        • IdRatherBeDancing

          I bet she has a lazy tit to match that lazy eye.

        • Jamoche

          As if – there’s a reason prettier people keep getting the comm director job while she keeps doing the actual work.

    • JoeChristmas

      She’s spending that $300 mil she got from the Saudi’s.

  • Marla

    So…one down one to go.

  • Weißwurst Supreme

    I’m honestly a little surprised Bannon has survived his time at the White House. He looked like he was rotting from the inside out even before he took the gig there, and spending a lot of time submerged in literal human sewage can’t be a good way to recover from whatever horrifying disease is consuming him.

    • Electric Ukulele Land

      Undead

  • JoeChristmas

    Jesus Christ

    1 hour ago

    1 Nazi down.

  • Clay Denton

    Evan, tell us how you really feel.

  • Mary Theresa

    I did Nazi that coming. Don’y worry Steve you’ll be alt-right.

    Author unknown.

    • Jimh

      yeah Steve will be ofay.

  • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

    He’s going to go spend more time with his autofellatiamily.

  • Bub, the cynical zombie
  • Anna Rompage

    Based Stickman, Chris Cuckwell, are both facing jail time for assualt, a slew of other Nazis are being fired from their jobs, and Steve Bannon is out of the White House…

    I’d say the tide is turning and it’s a good time for the resistance…

    • bookish

      Keep the pressure on.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Just got off the phone with the offices of Rep. Schiff and Sens Harris and Feinstein to urge them to support the censure resolution against Donald. I recommend it–good for the soul!

    • Bill D. Burger

      And it’s the thought that counts! :)

    • Snopes Shop

      Following your lead

  • Bill D. Burger

    If there’s to be a civil war between the White House and Breitbart, couldn’t we send all the Confederate monuments to them to parse out to the winner and the runner up?

    Duh….winning!

    • Zippy49

      Nah, that bronze is worth too much as scrap…

  • greyXstar

    Making meth tubs great again.

  • JoeChristmas

    Steve Bannon Rebel Infidel • an hour ago

    Hey, you guys know if anyone is hiring?

    ^131

    •Reply•Share ›

    • BeachBum

      They need coal miners in WVA. And Sears clerks in NC.

  • LithiumION

    Lordy. Went to Breitbart for the comments. Delicious tears.

    • Johnny Appleseed

      Good comedy over there!

      • LithiumION

        The basements of mothers all over America are filled with angry typing.

        • ltmcdies

          hahahahahhhaaaaahhha

        • Johnny Appleseed

          Crap and empty bottles hitting the walls.

          • BeachBum

            Thanks. I thought my neighbors got a new weed whacker.

        • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

          Moms will be relieved. “Better than angry fapping, I must say. The washer can’t take many more of those socks”

    • Bill D. Burger

      More ‘WAR’ jibber jabber over there than in 1939 Germany.

      • ltmcdies

        I might caution that there is that Klan/Nazi rally being threatened in Durham…we might see some acting out ….

        stay safe, Durham

    • Robbertjan Brandenburg

      Oh god, it’s disqus. Let’s all post!

      • janecita

        No, no, they will follow us here if we do.

        • Robbertjan Brandenburg

          I am a cat right now that sees a glass on the edge of the table.

          • janecita

            You go boy! Don’t let your dreams be dreams!

          • Robbertjan Brandenburg

            As soon as I acquire your address I just might will.

      • WomanInThePersistence

        Please don’t, unless you create a new Disqus identity just for them. We don’t need more RWNJ trolls.

        • Robbertjan Brandenburg

          Is it that bad? Crap I really wanted to post the
          https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=29Mg6Gfh9Co

          clip

          • WomanInThePersistence

            Yes. Trolls are bad. I had one once follow me posting Pepe memes and making rape “jokes”. The clip is great, but please don’t bring new friends here. Thanks.

          • Skeptical_thinker

            New friends are fine as long as they are extremely vetted.

          • WomanInThePersistence

            I don’t vet people. I’m just a non-commenter who prefers not to be stalked. Most new folks here are fine. Breitbartians? Not so much.

          • Skeptical_thinker

            Forgot the /s

          • WomanInThePersistence

            Thanks! And I don’t mean to sound unwelcoming. Honestly, most new posters are quite nice.

          • Robbertjan Brandenburg

            Duly noted. :)

        • BeachBum

          Right. I for one, need an island of sanity, such as it is.

          • Robbertjan Brandenburg

            Yeah you are right. Al other media are doing the job I just suggested so we’re cool.

          • Oblios_Cap

            You can block them…

    • JoeChristmas

      The BOTS are enraged!

  • Mintie

    [Insert mad cackling here]

  • Snopes Shop

    He probably already has a job offer at CNN or MSNBC

  • Reximus
    • Skeptical_thinker

      Wine, beer or cocktail?

      • jesterpunk

        Yes

      • Reximus

        where do you live?

      • eggs ackly-wright

        OK

  • P’jama Pahnts

    OT but hey all I tried to make a funny on the twitter thingy!

    I assume you'l be discussing the procurement of weapons-grade pig's blood?— Terry W (@JTangoWhiskey) August 18, 2017

    • Angela Ruzzo

      They should be sure to use weapons-grade pigs blood from white, Christian pigs only.

  • Kooolest G

    kind of a smart move if you ask me, bannon pretends he doesn’t know he’s on the record while he talks about how HE’S gonna you’re fired people that trump wanted to you’re fired. now the moderate republicans get to pretend that trump fired bannon cause he’s a racist, and the racists get to pretend trump fired bannon for stepping out of his lane. now trump will just have to get bannon’s advice over the phone instead of in person

    • David Chaillou

      Trump the 4D chess master…

      • Oblios_Cap

        Can’t feel it.

        • David Chaillou

          I said 4D not 40G

  • Joe Beese
  • JoeChristmas

    The Bots are confused.

    • Shucky Ducky

      Thoughts and prayers for the bots.

  • MynameisBlarney
    • Joe Beese
      • MynameisBlarney

        LOL

      • Atheist

        Today is so full of wins I can’t even!!!

      • It looks like Harry potter being chased by Jackie Gleason.

      • Angela Ruzzo

        I can never get embedded Twitter videos to play in Wonkette non-comments using Firefox. I wonder why that is? YouTube videos work just fine.

        • stubbornirishlass

          I have the same problem. Chrome seems to work the best. Which is a drag because Firefox rules.

      • greyXstar

        Wow it’s like a Jack Sparrow/particularly-rotund-grizzly hybrid!

      • jodyleek

        White socks with black pants and shoes – so classy! Pfffft!

    • Dammit. I never wanted to be in the same state as Alex Jones.

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      Great. Now I wanna go to Biscuit Bitch.

    • Notreelyhelping

      Oh god, that was wonderful.

      • MynameisBlarney

        Probably staged, but still hilarious to watch him run like an idiot.

  • Righteous Action Jack

    The breitbart guy on MSNBC is stuttering and backpeddling, claiming his website isn’t “alt-right” any more. Guess the label is too toxic for them now.

    • Joe Beese

      The site had an angry article a day or two ago about how the dishonest media was taking Bannon’s description of them as “a platform for the alt right” out of context.

      Seriously.

      • Righteous Action Jack

        Yeah, I mean, it’s not like every single high profile asshole on brietbart has screamed up and down that they’re alt-right.

    • IdRatherBeDancing

      hahahahahahahaha — and what is Breitfart guy doing on MSNBC — are they gonna open that can of Velshi-Rhuel whip ass on him?

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        Velshi is having his way with him

        • Résistance Land Shark Ω

          I hope it involves big words and pointy toed votes …

      • Righteous Action Jack

        He even got the weasel to admit that MSNBC’s viewers are “the same” as his readers.

    • TheGrandWazoo2

      My thoughts at his every word…liar liar liar liar liar liar liar liar liar liar liar liar liar liar liar liar liar liar liar liar.

    • Atheist

      Oh NO NO NO NO NO.

      These assholes INVENTED the alt-right.

      No use relabeling now.

      • Résistance Land Shark Ω

        Oh no you don’t you fucking nazis! You do NOT get to pivot away from being the #2 nazi web site on the internet.

        no, No, NO!

    • Crank Tango

      OK fine, Nazi.

  • Joe Beese

    Breitbart getting two comments a second.

    • Johnny Appleseed

      Winning?

    • Bub, the cynical zombie

      How many of them have no misspellings?

      • Righteous Action Jack

        aOLl oFD tHEme Kaytey!

      • Jimh

        They’re all spelling cuck the same way…

    • are they all the same comment?

      • David Chaillou

        No, it’s like a Hyeronimus Bosch painting: they’re all different and all monstrous.

        • David Chaillou
        • the very soul of originality

          • David Chaillou

            Why? Because I picked the first one on Google?

          • I was referring to the *concept*! [rolling eyes]

            (it’s like living with a 3 year old)

            ….and not *your* concept… the concept that numb randomness emitting from the cosmic core of all things Breitfart produces an originality that only nature can produce… a trash dump is no less a work of nature than the mountains and the sky, and the clouds and shit…. no really, shit!

            The teeming right wing anencephalics are creating an art that we are completely incapable of appreciating… which doesn’t mean it isn’t the soul of originality.

            I don’t know why I always end up having to explain everything!

            Can we go to McDonald’s and Dairy Queen later?

    • BloviateMe

      This one surprised me, as I didn’t realize McCain was a nuclear superpower:

      artyfo • a minute ago
      Too bad Trump can’t remove neocon (terrorist) John McCain He is a greater threat than Kim Jong-un or ISIS.

      • mindscaping

      • Bub, the cynical zombie

        That’s some incisive analysis right there…

        • Angela Ruzzo

          Yeah, I bet he has a Ph.D. in Political Science (No, I don’t).

  • Relativicus

    Taking up meth might actually improve his skin.

  • Mary Theresa
    • alpacapunchbowl

      Are they trying to go out of business?

      • Skeptical_thinker

        The $4.00 drinks are only during happy hour. They will break even or better at $4.00. Many will stay and eat, drink and make much merry, at a cost.

    • meth dealers in all the major cities are chipping in to buy an ounce to give away during the impeachment.

      Good for business.

  • Jo Mathie

    I’d like to say something intelligent, but all I have is ha, ha, ha, ha. Is there anyone left in the White House by now?

    • gratuitous

      This year’s Secret Santa isn’t going to be very tough.

      • Jimh

        The rules are different this year anyway – everybody has to give Trump a gift.

  • alpacapunchbowl
    • Mary Theresa

      Too thin to be Bannon.

    • Lurkylu

      i will check it out when im at Wrigley for green day. maybe they will be hovering. honestly, that is freaking weird. im guessing prank.

      • alpacapunchbowl

        It is definitely weird. Now we just need to come up with a fun name for it, though I wouldn’t be surprised if it’s just the Jersey Devil and he got lost. Poor thing.

    • Zyxomma

      Are you sure it’s not Q? (I don’t mean the one from James Bond; this Q had its own movie.)

      • alpacapunchbowl

        I… don’t know what that is, so maybe?

      • Dinz6315

        The winged serpent?!?

        • Zyxomma

          That’s it. Michael Moriarty v. Quetzlcoatl in the Chrysler Building for the win!

    • Jennaratrix

      Oh, don’t worry Mike. We won’t forget.

    • Raan

      As Larry Wilmore used to say about Bill Cosby, I ain’t forgotten about you, motherfucker.

    • folderol

      Something tells me that this guy is not clean of the Russian thing. Who’s next?

  • Atheist

    Welp, I went over and took a peek at BrightFart. 5,000 comments of jeers, tears, and truly shitacular tinfoil hat theories ‘splain why things aren’t going their way.

    Oh, and some argle bargle about a sex doll article a drudge report.

    Should I even ask what’s up with these weirdos and their obsession with sex robots?

    Nah, is okay. I’m better off not knowing.

    • Raan

      Preoccupation with sex usually comes from a lack of occupation with sex.

      • Skeptical_thinker

        “Revenge of the Nerds” libelz!!3133!!!!one

    • David Chaillou

      You forgot the 4D chess players who think this is a new win for Trumpland.

  • Beautiful Soup

    Cocktail Creativity Time: what ingredients go into a “Bannon”?

    • Righteous Action Jack

      Gin in an Igloo cooler.

      • Beautiful Soup

        Fancy!

        • Righteous Action Jack

          With battery acid, in a side car.

      • Nice. You can cook meth once you’ve drunk the gin.

        • Righteous Action Jack

          That’s not a bug.

    • MynameisBlarney

      Rebel Yell “Bourbon”, and a Mt. Dew Chaser.

      • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

        Mountain Jew – The Dew and Gin.

    • laughingnome

      Cheeto smegma and Russian Hooker Pee

      • Righteous Action Jack

        On that topic, how does one make a Russian Pee Hooker? Vodka and pickle juice served on a Serta mattress?

        • laughingnome

          Don’t pay her?

          • Righteous Action Jack

            Or reeeally pay her?

          • laughingnome

            Yeah I was just repurposing an old joke – from 5th grade

        • BigCSouthside

          You just take a glass of Trump Vodka and have a lady named Svetlana piss on it.

          • Righteous Action Jack

            Or in it, I doubt anyone could taste the difference.

    • NastyBossetti

      Nothing I would put in my mouth.

      • JustDon’tSayDignity

        That was my first thought. Maybe a dirty look from the barkeep and a GTFO from the bouncer?

    • BigCSouthside

      Southern comfort and red bull, served with the glass’ rim coated in bathtub meth.

      • WomanInThePersistence

        Well played.

    • jodyleek

      Russian vodka, frog juice, and Nazi tears.
      Cut your midsection open and apply directly to your liver.

    • ImGoingBacon

      Don’t give Dame Peggington Noonerston VIII any ideas.

    • Neverclear.

    • David Chaillou

      Shit, piss, blood, pus+brains.

    • DrBigHead

      Anything straight out of the bottle, alone in your room.

    • Caepan

      Psilocybin mushrooms soaked in Everclear.

    • Rags

      vodka and self-extracted jizz

  • Jennaratrix
  • Carpe Vagenda
    • ImGoingBacon

      I hope that’s tea she’s drinking/spilling.

      • DainBramage

        I’d go with bourbon.

        • ImGoingBacon

          Patron or GTFO

  • Righteous Action Jack

    Guy won’t shut up about Berkeley. I mean, it’s not like right-wing breitfart nazis were violent or anything on Saturday.

    • Bemused Australian

      Why do you hate the first amendment?

      • Righteous Action Jack

        On account of being a commie fascist pinko librul who wants to take all the guns away.

        • Bemused Australian

          Ermegerd! You hate freedom too!

          • Righteous Action Jack

            Bigly! Freedom’s just the worst!

      • Why aren’t you one inch tall?

        • Bemused Australian

          How do you know I’m not?

          • Because inchers can’t type.

    • IdRatherBeDancing

      I forget what alt-righter (er, Nazi, white supremacist, KKK’er) was murdered at Berkeley? Can someone assist>

      • Righteous Action Jack

        All of them were murdered. It was like Bowling Green all over again.

        • amrak63

          Je suis Bowling Green!

    • Berkeley breathed.

    • gratuitous

      Well, John Yoo is still employed by UC Berkeley, so maybe there is a legitimate reason to criticize Berkeley. But it’s sloppy to call out the whole city.

  • Pat_Pending

    Sigh… that post was fap-worthy. Gonna have to go read it again, this time with a scotch and some lingerie…

  • Relativicus

    Ooo, I haz idee-ya nao!

    Can we get a Bannon “j-obit” from each of the Wonketeers? It seems unfair that only one of youse gets to enjoy themselves.

    • He was my mustard cake.

    • JustDon’tSayDignity

      His face was my reminder to go easy on the gin. But then again, he was part of the reason I was hitting the gin so hard.

  • MynameisBlarney
    • Oblios_Cap

      So it’s the quadfectra!

    • Changeling

      “The real face of Donald Trump”

    • Bemused Australian

      The always-face of Trump? Damn, my German is useless.

      • MynameisBlarney

        The True Face.

  • And he was the sane one? Damn these teetotallers mwuhahaha mines a pint

  • It’s gonna take them forever to get the grease stains off the headrests on the chairs.

    • I wonder if the sewer pipes in that place will survive the chemicals.

  • jaspersdad

    “Last one out is a Nazi”

  • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

    ye gods, when did the white house turn into a telenovela?

  • Reximus
  • Changeling

    Now that everybody is reporting that Kelly was the force behind Bannon getting the boot, what kind of a temper tantrum will li’l Donnie throw to show nobody tells him what to do?

    • IdRatherBeDancing

      Blowing up South Korea?

    • who will Kelly Anne walk with now?

      • ImGoingBacon

        who will Kelly Anne walk trip over now?

    • JustDon’tSayDignity

      He hasn’t bothered Yemen in a while…

    • BigCSouthside

      We still got a couple MOABs, right?

  • Résistance Land Shark Ω

    My new alias “Land Shark Love Boner”

    As always, Evan and Lula provide hearty chuckles on a stormy Friday afternoon.

  • What is Trump going to do to take the attention away from this distraction from the last distraction?

    Let’s start a distraction pool – first one to get 7 out of 10 wins.

    • BeachBum

      IKR ? Worst Russian Distraction Ever !

      • I think he’s going to pardon the runover guy.

        • artem1s

          oh god

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      This is the distraction, from CVille, from Pence being forced to return home, from the resignation of the entire Arts & Humanities Council.

      • I know *THAT*… but, like a controlled burn out of control, its getting too close to the hacienda… maybe he’ll pardon the “will you like me if I kill one of them” guy.

    • artem1s

      Dolt45 tries to force Mueller to raid Bannon’s house. then tries to fire Mueller for not sufficiently renouncing racist Nazis

  • Little Lulu Ω

    Suspected: Steve Bannon was inside that bucket of flaming poop he left on Trump’s doorstep.

    • Beanz&Berryz

      Which was which?

      • Caepan

        The bucket of flaming poop doesn’t smell as bad.

        • Red Richmond

          Flaming poop libelz! At least the poop can be used to help fertilize plants, Bannon just kills everything he comes into contact with.

  • jaspersdad

    You know it’s bad when…….

  • Bub, the cynical zombie

    From Breitbart comments:

    “Hillary next chief strategist. Nationalist agenda is over, Trump promises were lies.”

    https://youtu.be/zdJ8x6lyrfo

  • hexcalibur

    Spare us your nuance, Evan, and tell us how you really feel.

  • Mavenmaven

    The bad news is that his replacement at the white house will be Alex Jones.

  • Bub, the cynical zombie

    It’s becoming more and more obvious why Trump went bankrupt so often. He couldn’t organize a beer bust in a brewery even if everyone brought their own glass.

    • ImGoingBacon

      and their own beer.

      • Angela Ruzzo

        If Trump was the host, I would definitely bring my own beer.

        • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

          Yeah, those cases of Bud Lite for the GOP House Healthcare Love Fest looked heinous.

          • Angela Ruzzo

            I like Corona. But Trump would never serve Mexican beer.

          • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

            So many domestic beers to serve. And Anheuser Busch is nowowned by furriners.

          • Angela Ruzzo

            Yeah, I know. I used to live in St. Louis and take visitors on tours through their brewery. I lived half a mile from Grant’s Farm, where the Busch family used to vacation. My next-door-neighbor was their retired housekeeper. People in St. Louis were not happy with August Busch IV. Still aren’t.

  • amrak63

    THIS is the kind of country we get when Stupid White Folks get to ru(i)n things their way.

  • amrak63

    I don’t feel like sorting through over 700 comments to see if someone else has posted this already.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=opuPjRftg8M

    • BeachBum

      Yeah way down thread.

  • Bub, the cynical zombie

    Good job Donnie. A clean, swift execution:

    https://youtu.be/nAdniWncWu4

    • bbayliss

      Wow, simulated slo-mo

    • night of the walking dead 84 is the best… rabid squirrels.

  • Mavenmaven

    Though blaming the dog for peeing on the rug doesn’t accomplish much when the dog’s owner is the incontinent one.

  • David Chaillou

    Anybody knows how Anne Elizabeth is doing?

    • JustDon’tSayDignity

      I’ve been wondering as well. Don’t know her IRL.

    • jodyleek

      I was just thinking the same thing. Anna, if you’re outside looking in, we love you!

  • jaspersdad

    Three words of advice for Bannon … “Immunity from Prosecution”

    • amrak63

      Oooh yeah! Wouldn’t it be great if he went straight to Mueller?

      That would not only implicate Trump & Co. further, but would have the added benefit of making Bannon a traitor to the Fascist (un-)American Right, and so putting Bannon’s career on ice.

  • Meccalopolis

    Bannon’s stubble will eat trump’s combover

    • SnarkON

      Facial boils libel!

    • Bannon plastered his face with resin and powdered wrinkles from Kelly Anne’s plastic surgery.

  • Weird Fishes

    Well, the world is an incrementally better place than it was before this news was announced.

    It’s going to be interesting to see how the Trumpinistas handle Herr Bannon now that he’s outside the tent pissing in, instead of the other way around.

    Fun times in the land of the Perpetual Fire Drill.

  • SnarkON

    “Infrastructure Week”= hire private contractor to install revolving door on White House.

    • JustDon’tSayDignity

      More like one of those ejector chairs.

      • Nockular cavity

        Trap door over crocodile pit.

        • JustDon’tSayDignity

          Y’know, maybe we could buy something from supervillainsupply.com, if that’s still a thing.

        • amrak63

          Piranhas or GTFO.

    • ImGoingBacon

      This is what’s sad. Addressing infrastructure issues is high on the list for both parties. With this hurricane of bullshit overtaking the past 7 months, the message around a very important issue of improving the lives of Americans is lost, and is probably buried until a new Administration is sworn in.
      But, even if this disaster of the week hadn’t occurred, then he would have screwed up Infrastructure Week anyway.

  • Nasty Candy Apple

    I don’t know if anyone has posted this already, but dammit, today’s kind of a holiday, so have it again!

    http://i.imgur.com/d6v8PEE.jpg

  • Bitter Scribe

    Somebody gets eliminated on “Big Brother” every week, and the Trump White House is just the same

    “Big Brother,” hell. Someone got eliminated on those Apprentice shows every week. By Trump. Who is now about to find out that being POTUS is not like starring in a reality TV show, and people don’t just disappear once you fire them.

  • JustDon’tSayDignity
  • bbayliss

    I just woke up , anything happen during my nap?

  • cheetojeebus
  • jesuswasablack

    It’s really kind of sad to see a man of such impeccable intellect be cast aside in such an uncouth manner!
    https://img.wonkette.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/08/steve-bannon.jpg

    • Daniel Mann

      Hey gals. He’s dongle.

  • mancityRed6

    it’s funny ’cause the comments on brainfart are either “meh” or “when’s he coming back to” brainfart.
    there are some people trying to troll, most aren’t doing that well.
    but it was literally just a few months ago (especially after Bannon got kicked off of the NSC) where they were going to denounce tRump if he fired Bannon.
    but, now he “quit” so I guess it’s all good.

  • Carpe Vagenda

    OT: Can’t win for losing

    More than half of the members of the 15-person Digital Economy Board of Advisors, an expert board set up last year by the Obama administration to help the federal government navigate the digital economy, are known to have resigned this week in the wake of President Donald Trump’s controversial comments about the violence last week in Charlottesville, Virginia, that left one person dead.

    Those no longer participating as of Friday afternoon include co-chairs Zoë Baird, president and CEO of the Markle Foundation; Mitchell Baker, executive chairwoman of the tech organization Mozilla; David L. Cohen, senior vice president and chief diversity officer at Comcast; Karen Bartleson, president of the Institute of Electrical and Electronics Engineers; Marta Tellado, president and CEO of Consumer Reports; James Manyika, director of the McKinsey Global Institute; Sonia Katyal, chancellor’s professor of law at the University of California at Berkeley School of Law; and Corey Thomas, president and CEO of cybersecurity firm Rapid7. Their departures were confirmed by those individuals, their representatives or emails obtained by POLITICO.

  • notanncoulter

    goodbye gin-blossom!

    • amrak63

      Good-bye Abnormal Genes…

      (apologies to Sir Elton)

      • Guest Liberal

        Upvoted for painful yet wonderful pun, er wordplay, whathaveyou..

  • notanncoulter

    the well oiled machine is still squeaking along on its square wheels.
    no chaos.
    no chaos.
    you’re the chaos.

  • cheetojeebus

    You know when you wake up having shit yourself and vomited in your front pocket behind a dumpster and your face has a bunch of grease trap gravel embedded in it where your face was pressed onto the ground? Yeah, well he looks like that.

    • Reegstar

      That’s a bad flashback, man.

    • kbbaldwin2

      Oh, man. If I had a dollar for every time…. Never mind.

  • RugzYaBurnt

    I actually had a premonition this morning that I would see this news break on Our Wonket today. Molotov, y’all!

    • Kero scene

    • Snopes Shop

      What’s going to happen next?

      • RugzYaBurnt

        If my Cassandra powers were consistently that accurate, I would’ve decamped to New Zealand or somewhere before November 8th.

  • Wolf Tracker

    Paging Mr. Bannon.. Paging Mr. Bannon

    A Mr. Mueller would like to speak with you on line 1.

  • btwbfdimho

    Bannon: “I quit so I can spend more time draining my own swamp”.

    • I need more time with my chemistry set

    • Rags

      Is that what the kids are calling it these days?

      • amrak63

        When I was in high school, we called it “dating Fistella”.

  • ImGoingBacon

    In looking at the pic of Trump at the desk of Presidential Affairs, I wonder if those stacks of files are resignation letters?

    • eviction notices requiring his signature

  • BearLeft

    And now he can join Scaradouchebag in resuming the Great Work of trying to suck his own cock.

    • Harbinger08

      That would be a stretch.

    • phoenix00

      That’s….. a disturbing visual.

  • Wolf Tracker

    I would have liked to have been a fly on the wall when that final meeting between Bannon and Trump took place.

    Something tells me it is a ploy and Bannon is going off to manage Trump TV.

    • Rags

      very likely they never met after the decision was made. 4-5 is too much of a coward. Left it to Kelly to do the dirty.

      • House0fTheBlueLights

        What, he didn’t fire him by tweet?

        • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

          Probably Bannon told Trump that he’d decided to leave and Trump cried and begged him to stay

  • Jamoche

    Keith Olbermann goes oldschool with an article that went viral in 1973: https://twitter.com/KeithOlbermann/status/898638425816932352

    • kaydenpat

      Would love to see Keith back on MSNBC. Used to really enjoy his 8 pm show. He was a great anti-Bush voice.

      • artem1s

        if I could only wish one good thing can come out of this shitshow, it would be my wish that the MSM finally come to their senses and start doing journalism again and abandon bothsiderism.

    • Reegstar

      Love it! Buchwald was a gem. Brutally honest and a great journalist. Thank you for posting this.

  • puredog

    “Anyway, FAREWELL STEVE BANNON, you disgusting fucking piece of shit. If Breitbart doesn’t work out, there’s always meth.”

    Why not both?

    • gallbladder

      Who can tell the difference?

  • GreyWolfSC
  • BigCSouthside

    People can be pessimistic and say this changes nothing, but I argue otherwise

    Bannon, of all the trumpkins, was a true believer, a self styled revolutionary who thinks he is THE political intellectual of our time.

    His joint interview with Reince was fucking terrifying, and I’m glad he no longer has his hands on the levers of government

  • Zyxomma

    May they all reap the whirlwind, and may those of us who #Resist find shelter from the storm.

  • Wolf Tracker

    Longtime Trump business partner ‘told family he knows he and POTUS are going to prison’: report

    https://www.rawstory.com/2017/08/longtime-trump-business-partner-told-family-he-knows-he-and-potus-are-going-to-prison-report/

    • kaydenpat

      Please let this be an accurate prediction. Come on, Mueller!

    • SadDemInTex

      Trump will be pardoned just like Nixon

  • Riley Whodat Venable

    All I want to know is is Breitbart still backs Trump.

    • Bobathonic

      After the derp state pushed that turd out? I hope not.

    • SadDemInTex

      Yes they are…one of the Wonkers went on in the last hour

  • KMTBERRY

    “Unfuckable garbage troll”
    GENIUS

  • Short white house. Now we can blame all the destroy the government shit on Bannon. This script is soooooo predictable

  • Permit-holder Ron

    There’s not much left to be said except:

    YAY!

  • Serai 1
    • kaydenpat

      Bannon: “And totally not a racist as my great President told you all on Monday (and he’s totally not a racist either).”

      • Maybe

        Trump is a sort of built-in opposite day when he speaks. If he says Bannon is not a racist, that proves that Bannon is racist.

  • kaydenpat

    “Bannon’s crimes are many, and we’re not just talking about his face.”

    Are there any photogenic White Supremacists? I’m beginning to see a pattern.

  • Reegstar

    And of course, there’s the thing about how everybody and their Aunt Betty has been calling Bannon “President Bannon,” implying that Bannon actually has his pock-marked fist up Trump’s back slit, controlling his every presidential move like a foul, gin-soaked puppet master.

    That image is now seared into my brainpan . . . and will not go away.

  • Poly_Ester

    I guess that you don’t need a Chief Strategist when its just one thing after another.

    • mailman27

      More like a Hall Monitor?

      • Maybe

        A Heil Monitor.

  • Harbinger08

    I only hope he is as vindictive and malicious as I have come to believe. It looks like he will be heaving the full weight that his blotchy, boozy revenge can manage against his tormentors in the West Wing, evil subverters and back stabbers that they are.

    • Guest Liberal

      The quote I read was that he will go “thermonuclear” against all the “globalists”, i.e. McMaster, Jared, Ivanka, et al. Breitbart v. tRumpkins

      • Walter Wellstone

        Let them go against each other. It’s gonna be fun to watch.

        • Maybe

          The enemy of my enemy is my friend.

          And a heck of a lot of fun to watch.

          • Lefty Wright

            Friend may be carrying it too far. Let’s say the enemy of my enemy is a temporary necessary evil.

          • Maybe

            How about “faux-friend with political benefits?”

        • sgt. jmk of the résistance

          It reminds me of this, though

          “He now has Isengard to fear as well as Minas Tirith. If Minas Tirith falls, it will go ill with Saruman.’

          ‘It is a pity that our friends lie in between,’ said Gimli. ‘If no land divided Isengard and Mordor, then they could fight while we watched and waited.’

          ‘The victor would emerge stronger than either, and free from doubt,’ said Gandalf.

          So I’m cautious.

  • Guest Liberal
  • tkingt

    Bannon pulled a knife on Kelly. Kelly said “drop the knife or I’ll shove it down your alcoholic throat”. Bannon dropped the knife and ran from the White House.

  • Flapples

    I love how President Twitler announces he’s firing Bannon by saying “I don’t think he’s racist”. A racist saying a racist is not racist.

    These morons don’t seem to get that if you’re ACTUALLY not racist, you don’t really need to bring it up in the first place.

  • cvryder2000

    He can now either go and seek a cure for his mange, or work on further destroying his liver….the choice is his.

    • President in Exile Firefly

      Why not both?

      • cvryder2000

        Some mange medications may be hard on the liver, or may interact badly with alcohol. Dogs don’t drink (usually) so they wouldn’t have the problem.

  • WeaselPoo

    I just got done with work, logged in and wow! Finally some good news.
    Of course Trump’s administration is still going to be a shit show.

  • Spurning Beer

    I, for one, am glad that Mr. Bannon will now be able to spend some quality time with his spirochetes.

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      …and his gin blossoms!

      • Mehmeisterjr

        ♫ Look a-yonder comin’
        Comin’ down that Breitbart site
        Hey, look a-yonder comin’
        Comin’ down that Breitbart site
        It’s the Gin Blossom Special
        Bringin’ that Bannon shite.

        Well, he’s going down his own self
        And get some splooge in his mouth
        Or maybe lick his gonads
        And get some splooge in his mouth
        He’ll ride that Gin Blossom Special
        Straight to the solid South. ♫

  • moeman

    Bannon now has the time to suck himself (off) to his faithful end. Imagine the statue.

  • OrdinaryJoe

    The Gift of the Moochi

  • Trump said he was going to hire the best people for his administration.

    President Wookie & his appointees, past and present, stand out like the crowd in a Star Wars bar.

    So now Don the Con’s left with hiring the 2nd best or 3rd best or 100th best. What’s that going to look like and perform like?

    Americans love circuses, are fascinated by spectacle & are drawn to train wrecks; Don the Con and the Republicans/cons from top to bottom provide all three.

  • Parchment Scroll

    Has Trump complained that firing Bannon has not yet appeased the evil MSM? Because that has been the pattern:
    1) Trump is called upon to do a thing by the general public.
    2) Pressure is applied in the form of protests, phone calls, etc.
    3) Trump does the opposite thing.
    4) Pressure escalates, people getting angrier.
    5) Trump finally does the thing.
    6) Trump is called out for steps 2-4 happening before 5.
    7) Trump bitches about the MSM not being satisfied.

  • OrdinaryJoe

    “Or will unfuckable garbage troll Stephen Miller and fake doctor/real Nazi Sebastian Gorka retain enough influence over Trump to keep Bannon at bay?”

    Who is taking out the garbage?

  • Maybe

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PHQLQ1Rc_Js

    Santa, I’ve been very good this year (so far–no promises). Please let Bannon use his alt-wrong media to attack the heck out of Trump.

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      I’m hoping for the same thing. I’d love to see Bannon and Trump flinging shit at each other.

      • OrdinaryJoe

        “Leopards eat each other’s faces. Film at 11”

  • OrdinaryJoe
  • Lefty Wright

    As mentioned about other fired Trump minions, Bannon will still be tied to Trump – he is their paycheck in. He will just be more covert in actual policy issues. Sort of like how Trump turned ALL of his business activities over to his sons. I would bet the two most frequently heard words at meetings for Trump businesses now are “Dad says”.

  • I hope I’m around when Wonkette eulogizes Steve Bannon.

    • texcynical

      I don’t think you’ll have to wait long. Bannon looks like crap.

  • lunar62

    I visited Breitbart today for the first time ever – the true believers there openly worship Bannon. He’s their returning hero. Earlier today they were turning on Trump en masse but now they’ve decided this is all part of the master plan and they’re in love with Trump again. I don’t feel at all relieved about Bannon being out of the White House. He’s a narcissist like Trump and narcissists never go away quietly – they’ll burn down the world around them to get revenge on whomever they think has wronged them.

    • OrdinaryJoe

      Don’t go back. They will try to suck your soul out through your eye sockets.

      • Persistent Tennessee Rain

        And then you’ll be like Sam. Don’t be Soulless Sam. He was a dick

      • SadDemInTex

        Miss Peregrine has her crossbow!

    • SadDemInTex

      Shudder…the horror, the horror

    • rick

      He’s a narcissist like Trump…

      Narcissistic enough to suck his own c–k?

  • Lizernst

    Is “Big Brother” really still a thing?

  • dshwa

    “over there in that alternate Breitbart dimension called “Hell,”

    I read that as “Heil” Which is probably just as accurate.

  • SadDemInTex

    I will never understand why Bannon did not get expert advice by a plastic surgeon or dermatologist. Jeez, or hire a personal facialist. It is absurd

    • Last Hussar

      Bannon facial? There’s some web searches even I will avoid.

    • Erala Contratista

      Can’t imagine medical solutions would work. And , as for a facialist? No chance any potion, exfoliation, lasers, nuclear waste, etc would work.
      As I used to say, way too often…”that tree is dead, not resting (fill in all parrot references). Fertilzer won’t work either, even if it has Miracle on the package!!!
      A lost cause is…….LOST.
      Yr welcome.
      Lose my phone number.

  • OrdinaryJoe
  • Baileyppfeffer

    yesterday I got a new Jaguar XJ after having earned $5816 this-past/five weeks and-also, 10k last munth . with-out a doubt this is my favourite-work Ive had . I actually started six months/ago and right away started to make more than $71 per-hour . ➤look➤ at➤ this ➤page
    ➜➜➜http://www.GoogleFinancialCashJobs555BuzzThink/Home/Wage….
    ▼▼▼▼▼▼▼▼▼▼▼▼▼▼▼▼▼▼▼▼▼▼▼▼▼▼▼▼▼▼▼▼▼▼▼▼▼▼▼▼▼▼▼▼▼▼▼▼▼▼▼▼▼▼▼▼::::ah265..

    • thixotropic jerk

      I think you should drive your new Jag right up your…well, let’s just say your spam-spewing orifice how’s that for classy?

    • Sekhmet1

      Hey, other spambots promise $97 p/h! Ripped off.

      • Mehmeisterjr

        Should I go for the Jag or the Land Rover? What a dilemma!

        • TundraGrifter

          I believe that’s “Land Rover Range Rover.”

        • sgt. jmk of the résistance

          Are they all out of McLarens?

    • TundraGrifter

      “Bailey?” Your parents named you for a milk and whiskey bottled cocktail? Is that what they were ripped on the evening you were conceived? I knew a kid named “Hennessey” once – and, if you can believe it, a boy named “Cutty Sark.” So, count your blessings.

      And get a real job. Also. Spamming for pennies is no way to go through life.

    • george lastrapes

      This ain’t spam. It’s cat food. Used cat food. Won’t someone in charge take care of it? Can’t have it boldfacedly defacing our intricately woven tapestry of snark!

  • Red Richmond

    When Bannon Found Out: A Play in One Act (minute)

    Scene: an office in the Whitehouse. Bottles, papers, and half-full ashtrays are strewn about everywhere, particularly on the large wooden desk in the middle of the room. In the background an acid-stained bathtub can be seen.

    As the scene begins, a sucking sound can be heard coming from beneath the desk.

    A phone vibrates on top of the desk.

    from beneath the desk: mmmmph?

    a bloated and liver spotted hand reaches up and grabs the phone back below the desk: mmmmgrrrrrmmmpphh…

    pause

    …mmmrph?…

    the sound of teeth snapping together can be heard, followed almost immediately by a loud bang from under the desk: MMMMMNNNNNRRRRRAAAAAAAHHHH! MMMFFFFKRRRR WWWWRRRRT??? MMMRRRAAAH??? Rrrrggghhhh, grrrr….

    after a few more moments of incoherent but pained-sounding grunts and growls, the angry sounds from behind the desk fade away and gradually replaced by the same sucking sound that started the scene.

    Fin.

    • Mehmeisterjr

      I love it but you omitted the all-important stage direction:

      Exit, pursued by a bear.

  • Atheist
  • TundraGrifter

    President Trump – the self-described most loyal guy in the world.

    Until he isn’t.

  • davecity

    My joy is tempered by the suspicion that he’s out because he want quite racist enough.

    • george lastrapes

      Or maybe he’s out because that was the plan all along.

      • Sakonyachen

        I wonder about that. Was the reason we never heard about him doing anything because that wasn’t his purpose? They had to know Trump would listen to no one. I’m thinking that Bannon was there so that when something bad and Nazi related happened, Trump could cut him loose and appear above the fray. I wonder if that explains all the people with ties to Russia on his team.

  • george lastrapes

    LBJ said of someone once, “Druther have him inside th tent pissin out stead of outside th tent pissin in.” Perhaps the PeeResident should have followed that advice, and perhaps we should have hoped he would. Because Bannon is smart and evil, a dangerous combo. Light a candle and pray that his next ruptured blood vessel will be where it can do some real good.

  • Slinger

    Bannon forgot to take his skank Kellyanne with him.

  • Hairstrike Alpha

    Steve Bannon looks like two pee hookers pissed sulfuric acid on his entire body

  • John Lo

    Well, it looks like Insane Donald just rid himself of that pesky preexisting condition

  • Charles Wolf

    Anyone notice Trump & Pence fellating Bannon today,,,
    They been going down on him so hard he won’t have to mooch his own cooch anymore.

  • cherry turnover

  • revealing back the peel of this administration

  • Husband Of Mrs God

    Maybe Steve will be better at telling Donny what to do, as a Tv personality. Donny’s always going on about the last thing he saw on TV.

  • Michellehgil

    Image92c

    Google is paying 97$ per hour! work for few hours and have longer with friends & family!
    On tuesday I got a great new Land Rover Range Rover from having earned $8752 this last four weeks.. Its the most-financialy rewarding I’ve had.. It sounds unbelievable but you wont forgive yourself if you don’t check it
    !ay102d:
    ➽➽
    ➽➽;➽➽ http://GoogleFinancialJobs392CashShopImage/GetPay$97/Hour ★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★:::::!ay102l..,…..

  • where is Michelle Malkin in all of this???

  • fauxpinky

    Lol…I think meth has been part of the problem, Evan.

  • SeeTrain65

    “Bannon’s crimes are many, and we’re not just talking about his face.”

    There’s the haircut, too, but I digress …

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