It’s like the Brady Bunch, except all of them are AWARD-WINNING.

Time to check in with Dana Rohrabacher, the elected Republican from Orange County, California, who mostly represents the Kremlin’s interests in Congress (since moving on from being literal actual BFFs with, and we are not kidding here, THE TALIBAN). He’s been traveling again, but this time he didn’t go to Moscow to get marching orders. Instead, he was in London, palling around with one of Moscow’s most finely aged tools, Julian Assange, who is still hiding inside the Ecuadorian embassy like a pussy. If you’re wondering why THE FUCK Rohrabacher is meeting with Assange, you are asking the correct question. If you’re also wondering why THE FUCKITY FUCK the internet’s greatest loser troll, Chuck C. Johnson, also attended the meeting … just holy shit. Because this is a thing that happened.

The Daily Caller explains:

Charles Johnson, a conservative journalist, told TheDC that he arranged the meeting for Assange because the WikiLeaks chief wants to strike a deal with the U.S. so he can stop living in asylum.

Johnson is not a “journalist,” just like Julian Assange is not a “good person,” so let’s not be cute. Just kidding, he is an AWARD-WINNING JOURNALIST, which he will tell you all the time, like if you were so desperate for human interaction that you talked to Chuck C. Johnson.

ANYWAY. According to Johnson (whom you’d also know was an award-winning journalist if you googled him, you prick), the deal is that Rohrabacher, doing Moscow’s bidding we guess, will go visit Comrade Trump in the White House, to try to make an Art Of The Deal to let Julian Assange become a free man. And it’s no big deal, because Julian Assange has committed NO CRIMES (certainly nothing rapey in Sweden, and DEFINITELY not working with the Russians to tinker with the 2016 election in favor of one Donald John Trump). Indeed, Assange assured Rohrabacher of that:

After TheDC broke the news of the meeting, Rohrabacher put out a statement in which he said Assange “emphatically stated that the Russians were not involved in the hacking or disclosure of those emails.”

We’re convinced! (Dana Rohrabacher is convinced, because on top of being Moscow’s errand boy, he is also very stupid.)

Of course, it’s possible that Assange has no idea he’s been working for the Russians this whole time. Russia is big on co-opting useful idiots like that.

Here’s the statement from Rohrabacher’s office, confirming the meeting:

We notice a couple things here right off the bat. First of all, it’s creepy and weird that Rohrabacher “plans to divulge more of what he found directly to President Trump,” as if Julian Assange should have a right to be passing fake news love notes to the American president. Also, we’re worried Trump will believe whatever Rohrabacher says Assange told him, because he too is a very stupid and gullible man.

Hey, maybe Assange’s message contains flat-out conspiracy lies about how Hillary Clinton colluded with Ukraine to steal the election from herself! Because that’s the counter-narrative America’s enemies in Moscow and inside the White House want people to believe.

We’re also amused by the editorial paragraph in the congressman’s official statement, where it states as fact that the WikiLeaks emails revealed that the 2016 Democratic primary was #RIGGED against Bernie Sanders. Way to get that Russian dezinformatsiya in there, Congressman! We bet Putin is IMPRESSED.

OK, so Rohrabacher is trying to free Assange from his shackles, he’s passing Assange’s bullshit candygrams on to Trump, and AWARD-WINNING JOURNALIST Chuck C. Johnson set it all up. Anything else we should know? Oh just this thing Rohrabacher told The Hill:

“Julian passionately argued the case that WikiLeaks was vital to informing the public about controversial though necessary issues. He hoped that WikiLeaks — an award-winning journalistic operation — might be granted a seat in the White House press corps. As a former newsman myself I can’t see a reason why they shouldn’t be granted news status for official press conferences,” he said.

Holy CHRIST. Look, we know the Trump White House will let any AWARD-WINNING loser troll into its press room, and that the Trump White House is a big fan of all kinds of apeshit AWARD-WINNING fake news reported by dudes who raise money for ACTUAL NAZIS, but even in Trump’s America of 2017, some things should still be considered beyond the pale, and JULIAN FUCKING ASSANGE IN THE WHITE HOUSE PRESS ROOM IS ONE OF THEM.

We reiterate: WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY? To all of this!

WHY is Chuck C. Johnson arranging meetings between Republican congressmen and Julian Assange to convince Trump to spring him from Ecuadorian embassy prison and give him a free ticket to the White House? And does CIA Director Mike Pompeo know about this? Because we seem to remember Pompeo recently calling Assange a literal Nazi. And does Attorney General Jeff Sessions know about this? Because we’re pretty sure Sessions announced in April that it’s a “priority” for his Justice Department to put Assange IN AMERICAN JAIL.

Fuck this, as it’s making our head hurt worse than it already was.

Wonkette salaries are fully funded by lovely readers like you! If you love us, click below to fund us!

[Daily Caller / The Hill]

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  • Zippy W Pinhead

    Man, those three make the Juggalos look good

  • Anna Rompage

    Jullian Assange, you mean the guy who claimed he was innocent of sexually assaulting women, but didn’t have the balls to go and clear that up, and went into hiding instead?

    • Thiazin Red

      He admitted that he did what they said he did, he just doesn’t think it should be a crime.

    • MrTusks

      Shh! Zip it!

      So, uh, Julian…interested in stopping by to testify in Don’s defense?

  • Robbertjan Brandenburg
    • Covfefe’s Evil Twin

      It’s almost like he didn’t wait to have all of the facts. How weird.

      • puredog


      • godsaidHA

        is anyone surprised?

    • Nockular cavity

      Wait, what about the violence on all sides?

      • Robbertjan Brandenburg

        Yeah, saw those semi automatics on those leftist cops?

    • MynameisBlarney

      He sounds so very sincere, doesn’t he?

      *rolls eyes*

    • ltmcdies

      wasn’t there a domestic terrorist attack about 10 days ago this guy has yet to comment on.

      I really really don’t like this guy

    • Notreelyhelping

      “But, sir, what about your press conference, where you said–”
      “What press conference? That reminds me, we should set one up. Maybe in the Trump Tower’s lobby.”
      “Yes, sir. Right away, sir.”

      • BosGrl

        The one where he said he would NOT comment on things until he had all the facts?

        • Notreelyhelping

          He would, uh…never do that. Hey, look at the time….

    • therblig

      “No, Mr. President, I’m 100% certain it’s not Barcalounga” – Gen Kelly

    • Bill D. Burger

      ‘What about the terrorist attack in Charlottesville?’

      Trump: “There were many sides. Let’s not rush to conclusions.”

    • Msgr_MΩment

      So apparently it wasn’t Nazis?

    • Resistance Ftr PuckStopsHere

      Nobody wants your love, jagoff. Nobody. Go and try to hold your wife’s hand and see what happens. Just do it.

    • BosGrl

      Yeah, Spain is going to throw that telegram straight into the trash.

    • Longstreet63

      That’s not Trump, it’s some staffer. If it was Trump, it would start and end with his landslide electoral victory and call someone a nasty name.
      I’m sure he will walk it back by tomorrow, unless he just doesn’t care what happens to “Those People.”

    • Rags

      “And some of them are fine people.” FIFY

  • MynameisBlarney

    Chuck C. Johnson, Julian Assange, And Dana Rohrabacher Walk Into A Bar…

    The bartender looks up and says “Hey! What the fuck IS this? An international conspiracy to further subvert our Democracy?”

    • Longstreet63

      …The Aristocrats!

    • AJ Milne

      Chuck C. Johnson, Julian Assange, And Dana Rohrabacher Walk Into A Bar…

      …and everyone else walks out.

      • MynameisBlarney

        …and then the cops walk in and arrest them for treason and turn Ass-mange over to the Swedes.

        • AJ Milne

          … and the bartender sez, ‘I’m sorry, gentlemen, you’ll have to leave…

          … it’s a two dick maximum.’

      • Oneofthebobs

        …and Julian Assange says,”We better stop lowering this thing; somebody’s gonna get hurt! “.

      • arundel

        Chuck C. Johnson, Julian Assange, And Dana Rohrabacher Walk Into A Bar…

        …and Chuck C. Johnson promptly shits on the floor.

    • marxalot

      The bartender says “There went our Health Dept rating.”

    • janecita

      Chuck C. Johnson, Julian Assange, And Dana Rohrabacher Walk Into A Bar..

      And the bartender says, “What the fuck are you doing here Julian? Aren’t you supposed to be hiding like a pussy, at the Ecuadorian embassy?”

  • Covfefe’s Evil Twin

    So much for not day drinking. Again.

    • Resistance Ftr PuckStopsHere

      Imma just say it. Anybody got any pot?

      • SDGeoff3

        Are you near San Diego?

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        Are you a cop?

        • Celtic_Gnome

          And you have to tell us if you are.

  • James Baskin

    Well if Assange says it……

  • schmannity

    Who peed on Rohrbacher?

    • OrG in London


    • NeoliberalBanksterCaptainHowdy

      I was going to say, why do they all look like they’re into scat?

    • chicken thief


    • FlownΩver

      AOU,K… or want to,anyway.


    So this is why we have Kelly at the door to Trump’s office, right? To keep out the riffraff and their wild shit that will just rile up the President and lead him into something stupid?

  • dslindc
  • MynameisBlarney
  • Vincent Ricola

    “There’s two people I think Putin pays: Rohrabacher and Trump”
    ~ House Majority Leader Kevin McCarthy (R-CA) while talking to Speaker of the House Paul D. Ryan (R-WI)

    Just fucking sayin.

    • goonemeritus

      I would add Jill Stein and Glen Greenwald to that list.

    • arundel

      The punchline to that incident was the (laughter) and McCarthy says, “No, I’m serious.”

  • Donkey Option

    Every day it just feels like we’ve fallen into a warphole and ended up in a really bad Tom Clancy (redundant?) book. This is just … so weird. And I think that they are all showing how biased they are when they forget that the most important thing to come out of the leaks was John Podesta’s risotto instructions.

    • Dr. Rrrrrobotnik

      I got into it with that “What, Me Worry?” guy a few days back when he gave me a bunch of links to read that he claimed proved that the DNC and Clinton collaborated. When I pointed out that they did nothing of the kind, his response was effectively “NUH UH YEAH THEY DO”.

      In retrospect, not the most fruitful conversation.

      • Donkey Option

        They never are. I think the funniest thing is that the people who supported Bernie in the primary were really shocked that the democratic party wasn’t completely on his side, especially since he didn’t join the democratic party until right before he was running. I don’t even know how to explain how weird that is. It would be like someone who just moved to your neighborhood being annoyed that they weren’t elected to be in charge of the homeowner’s association and lost to someone who’d lived there for 30 years.

        • BosGrl

          I supported Bernie in the primary and when he lost, I said, OK, we have another great candidate. I supported Hillary in 2008, too, and again, was glad we had two great people to choose from. Why the Bernie Bros don’t see this is beyond me.

          • Dr. Rrrrrobotnik

            Part of that was Bernie himself: he really bought into his own propaganda and has a tendency towards a martyr’s complex. Martyrs, of course, need persecutors, and he readily bought into and spread the idea that Clinton was cheating.

          • BosGrl

            Yeah, we voted fairly early in MA and he did start that shit, you’re right.

          • SDGeoff3

            Same here. I left the Greens (among other reasons) to vote for Senator Sanders, and if he hadn’t made it, I was fully and happily prepared to vote for Mrs Clinton. And I did: with bells on. I cannot believe this Sanders/Clinton crap is still festering.

          • Longstreet63

            Because some people can’t bear to lose, and if they can’t win, they were cheated, and therefore will try and knock all the pieces off so they can claim they were going to win.
            I know lots of people like that.

        • Longstreet63

          Yet, I know people who would feel exactly like that.

        • NeoliberalBanksterCaptainHowdy
        • NeoliberalBanksterCaptainHowdy

          Then they move out of the neighborhood right away, while their surrogate says the HOA would be wise to elect them next time.

  • proudgrampa
  • Joe Beese

    Can someone clarify for me why Assange should be put in an American prison?

    Because of a Swedish rape investigation that is no longer in effect?

    Because of Wikileaks’ publication of Iraq War and Guantanamo Bay documents?

    Because of the DNC emails?

    Or just because he’s an asshole?

    • Crystalclear12

      Well, currently Trump wants him in jail because he’s afraid Assange will rat him out.

    • because shut up is why.

    • Longstreet63

      I’m not sure. Why is he still hiding in that embassy if he isn’t wanted?

      • AJ Milne

        Free food, and his mom kicked him outta his basement…

        … also, he’s pretty much used to being unwanted.

        (..and, seriously, while Sweden has essentially just made the investigation inactive because they’ve no practical way forward (it is absolutely not an exoneration)..

        a) the UK can still grab him for skipping bail, and

        b) should he become available again, Sweden could reopen the investigation.)

      • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

        he believes (and rightly so)
        that he leaves and goes home, they’ll just refile the charges.

        not sure what the statute of limitations is for this crime in that country.

        • Longstreet63

          Swedish prison. I can’t decide if that sounds horrible or awesome.

          • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

            i forget which one of those country’s it is, but they have a totally different view of prison than the U.S.

            They’re basically dorm rooms, cable tv, video games. Apparently numbers show it reduces recidivism and violence in the prison.

          • FlownΩver

            Yeah, but they don’t start with the number of entitled, gun-humping assholes we have here. Our basketful would riot over the choice of cable channels.

          • Permit-holder Ron

            I’ve seen pictures. I wish my first apartment had been that nice.

        • HarpyLibtart

          I don’t think it was so much the Swedish charges, he seemed convinced that the Swedes would just bundle him up and extradite him back to the US as soon as they were done with him, which they probably would…
          But if he didn’t want to get extradited, he probably shouldn’t have (yeah, I know, we have to say allegedly) raped that lady.
          I mean, it seems like basic common sense to me, if I was going to thumb my nose at the US Government after embarrassing them worldwide, I’m damn sure not going to run around on a European tour raw-dogging strangers, leaving myself open to both kompromat and STD’s….
          Like c’mon dude, you’re supposed to be SMART.

    • Dr. Rrrrrobotnik

      I would point out that the only person in the article who said Assange should be in jail was Sessions.

      • Joe Beese

        Ah. I misattributed that to Evan. Tx.

    • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

      i am not a lawyer – but yeah, the last two. If he broke U.S. laws, we could ask for extradition.

    • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

      The Swedish investigation is suspended because they can’t get to him. Should he emerge from the embassy, they can easily reinitiate and arrest him. But that’s the Swede’s call.
      There is the issue that if he was provided documents that were classified and/or stolen, he could be prosecuted under Title 18, Section 798 of the United States Code.(which carries a term of imprisonment of not more than 10 years)

      • marxalot

        How long has he been in that embassy?

        • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

          About 5 years now.

  • Resistance Ftr PuckStopsHere

    “Rohrabacher plans to divulge more of what he found directly to President Trump.” A). Stop stealing from the Devon Nunes playbook, and, B). As the president* is the kind of attention-starved man who can’t walk a block without blurting out a secret to the first stranger he sees, we should have the details soon enough.

  • Bill D. Burger

    ot…but saw it just come across that 13 are now confirmed dead in the Barcelona attack and 36 injured.
    Attacker is in custody.

    • OrG in London

      Any motive?

      • Bill D. Burger

        None released yet. Some are reporting that it appears not to have been a coordinated effort, but the proverbial lone wolf attacker.

        • Roadstergal

          He was brownish. Only white guys are lone wolves.

  • Msgr_MΩment

    Chuck C. Johnson, Julian Assange, And Dana Rohrabacher Walk Into A Bar,…

    Okay, funny one, wonket. Now you’re trolling us into reflexively violating Radicals’ Rules.

  • Crystalclear12

    “Well, we asked Mr. Bundy if killed anyone and he said no. Case closed.”

  • FauxAntocles

    So are they RepubliKLANs or RUSSicans?

    • Bill D. Burger


      • AJ Milne

        Nazi bartenders?

        (Chuck C. Johnson, Julian Assange, And Dana Rohrabacher Walk Into A Nazi Bar…)

        • Permit-holder Ron

          … and the bartender says, ‘We’re out of beer! Putsch off!’

          • AJ Milne

            Okay, that’s actually beautiful.

      • NeoliberalBanksterCaptainHowdy

        ReichpubliKKKanskis. Who knew politics was so complicated?

    • Crystalclear12

      AOT, K

  • janecita

    According to “El Mundo,” there are 13 fatalities so far in Barcelona. Fucking terrorists!!!

    • Kooolest G

      I’m sure there were also some very fine people in that van as well, on many sides

      • janecita

        All sides do it.

    • Robbertjan Brandenburg

      Make that at least 30 in the end.

      • janecita

        Probably, there are I’ve eighty people injured.

        • Snopes Shop

          I fucking everything except for this blog I’m commenting on

    • Snopes Shop

      Fox News will have something to report on finally

  • Dr. Rrrrrobotnik

    “Chuck C. Johnson, Julian Assange, And Dana Rohrabacher Walk Into A Bar,…”

    I’ll take “Greatest concentrations of women-repelling force in human history” for $200, Alex.

    • SDGeoff3

      : )

      • Pauladrios


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    • Michael Smith

      I thought this was going to be another article about men going their own way.

  • Just for the sake of argument – if they drove bamboo splints under your fingernails and put needles in your eyes – would you give us up?

  • goonemeritus

    What happened to Jill Sein’s invitation, did it get lost in the mail?

    • ManchuCandidate

      It was sent to the wrong Georgia.

  • Kooolest G

    well if assange says it wasn’t russia and putin says it wasn’t russia, that clears it all up. now let’s go after that 400 pound guy

    • jesterpunk

      We should also release everyone from prison too, I hear they all said they are innocent after this happened.

    • Permit-holder Ron

      Chris Christie?

  • ManchuCandidate

    Sec(ret)s And The City!

    Except we’re the ones getting drunk.

    • (((fka_donnie_d)))

      *golf clap*

  • MynameisBlarney
  • (((fka_donnie_d)))

    Wait, how the fuck is an American Congressman going to clear up Swedish sex assault charges?

    • ZangoCrudmonger

      I think Sweden dropped the charges altogether. He’s still wanted by the Brits for doing a runner on them, and he’ll get picked up for that if he leaves. The US has no charges (as far as we know).

      • jesterpunk

        Sweden only dropped the charges because Assange is hiding in the embassy basement and Swedish law says they have to try someone quickly. But if he leaves the embassy basement before 2020 they can try him.

        At a press briefing on Friday, Ms Ny said that by remaining in the embassy in London Mr Assange had evaded the exercise of the European Arrest Warrant (EAW) that would have seen him extradited to Sweden.

        She said that under Swedish law a criminal investigation needed to be conducted “as quickly as possible”.

        Sweden did not expect Ecuador’s co-operation in formally notifying Mr Assange of the allegations against him, a necessary step in proceeding with the case, she added.

        But she said: “If he were to return to Sweden before the statute of limitation on this case expires in August 2020, the preliminary investigation could be resumed.”

        She said it was “regrettable we have not been able to carry out the investigation”, and added: “We are not making any pronouncement about guilt.”

        • Permit-holder Ron

          So once the FBI is done picking his brains, toss him on the next non-stop SAS flight to Stockholm.
          ‘We thought he’d like to return home. And we thought his protests were meant in good fun.’

  • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

    guardian just released a photo of the man who allegedly rented the van used in Spain; they’re not sure if he was an attacker:

  • (((fka_donnie_d)))

    Re “beyond the pale”

    Once a troll is identified as a troll, that phrase gets tossed into the wastebasket. The modus operandi of trolls is to do and say things that are beyond the pale. If they get you to say “beyond the pale”, they win.

    • Longstreet63

      We could try “into the pail”…

    • chicken thief

      A whiter shade of pale – Assange.

      • Raan

        Procol Harum/Geoffrey Chaucer libelz.

      • (((fka_donnie_d)))

        Like I said before, he’d need to drink the blood of black babies to get a tan.

  • exinkwretch

    How to make your head explode: If Chuckie and Dana are in the same room, who is the dumbest man in that room?

    • natoslug

      Louie Gohmert.

    • Best to nuke it from orbit, just to be certain.

    • Rags

      NEVER cross the streams!

  • MynameisBlarney
    • Moebym Reborn

      I’ll admit – those are pretty amusing.

  • Did Rage Furby shit on any floors?

    • MynameisBlarney

      Give ’em a minute.

    • Courser_Resistance

      Christ, it sure looks like it. And then tracked it all over the house.

  • JackLinks

    Don’t ever rent anything to Rohrabacker, the guy’s a human PIG! !

    • Raan

      Hey, pigs are magical creatures and I’ll not have you libel them in this manner.

    • Up In Smoke O’hontas

      Baconzgood on line 1 for you…

    • Pat_Pending

      OH MY LIVING GOD THAT’S DISGUSTING. I can only assume the little shit let revolting frat boys hole up there. Probably friends and family.

  • marxalot

    Rohrbacker looks like someone asked the Creature Shop to make a half-smart yokel, but then decided the resulting puppet just wasn’t likeable enough.

  • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos
    yeah, they may be intelligence agencies, but I’ll go with them over assange, ETA: (until proven otherwise).

    • Permit-holder Ron

      Sometimes they really are the good guys.
      Took me forty years to get around to being able to say that.

      • Roadstergal

        I don’t know if I’d go as far as ‘good,’ but I’ll give them ‘reasonably accurate and grounded in reality.’

  • beingreleased

    An important fact left out of this story is that in 1964, Dana Rohrabacher played banjo in a conservative folk group called The Goldwaters.

    • NeoliberalBanksterCaptainHowdy

      Was Hillary the go-go dancer?

    • Righteous Action Jack

      And in the 2000’s, DJT played banjo in the presidential sweet bathing in gold waters.

      Sorry, had to.

    • cheetojeebus

      ‘played banjo’? You do realize Wonkette is a family oriented venue? disgusting.

  • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

    I’m getting the sense that Rohrabacher’s motives may not necessarily align with American interests. Call it a hunch.

    • Niblet58

      but he’ll still get re-elected by the morons of OC.

      • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution


  • Msgr_MΩment

    Rohrbacher (R-Moscow)

  • natoslug

    A scruffy muppet, a White Walker, and a beady-eyed pinhead . . . worst game of Hollywood Squares ever.

    • MynameisBlarney

      To be honest, without Paul Lyndt, it’s just not the same.

      • chicken thief


    • Raan

      I’ll take Jeffrey Tambor for the block.

  • NeoliberalBanksterCaptainHowdy

    So, Donnie has been abandoned by business and the military, and he’s tweet ranting about the beauty of Confederate statues? Am I up to speed here?

    Joint Chiefs denounce racism in stark terms as Trump’s isolation grows

    • paxpax

      basically, yes.

    • TakingAmes

      AF Chief used the phrase “Stronger Together.” Guess we know who he voted for.

  • Marsupial99

    I suppose it is possible that Assange doesn’t know that he’s working for the Russians, just like it is possible that Rohrabacher doesn’t know that he is working for/being paid by the Russians either (although everyone else on Capitol Hill seems to know).

    • Tiffany de Houston

      They know.

    • jesterpunk

      Assange had a show on Russia Today.

    • Niblet58

      He sent the Wikileaks severs to Russia, he knows and is in it neck deep.

      • Lord Jim

        He’s kinda like the naive Americans of earlier days with pro-Soviet sympathies. Without the good intentions.

  • Oblios_Cap

    With this dysfunctional Administration, everyday is a new hodgepodge of WTF moments.

    • chimpevil

      More like WTPAF–We The People Are Fucked–moments.

  • Courser_Resistance

    Fuck, this much crazy too soon after lunch has make me ill.

    • Parakeetist

      Same here.

    • Pat_Pending

      Damn. Another ‘drink early’ day.

  • Can’t we send all three of these Choads to Mars so they can look for Rohrbacher’s ‘ancient civilizations’?

    • NeoliberalBanksterCaptainHowdy

      I think we have a Word Of The Day.

    • NeoliberalBanksterCaptainHowdy

      Awww, I liked “Choadalisque”. Les Choadalisques du Chez Vladimir.

  • Raan

    So, what I’m getting from this is that Johnson is to journalism what skim milk is to milk.

    • Pat_Pending

      what turned milk is to milk. /fixed

    • NeoliberalBanksterCaptainHowdy

      What the pus from Rush’s anal cyst is to milk.

    • Notreelyhelping

      Not me. I’m chasing those sweet, sweet Sorosbucks.

  • chicken thief

    I wonder if Rohrbacher wore a fedora, shades, and a trench coat when he visited Assange. I mean, this is some shit out of an old timey spy movie. Why not just send an email to POTUS if you have some hot scoop for him? Or hand it to doofus Johnson and have him deliver it.

    • Because the Obama-bots have wiretapped his emailz!

  • Permit-holder Ron

    I am enjoying the idea that Two Scoops gets it into his fat head that he can pardon Assange. For something or other. And tells him he can come to the US and have an audience with His Orangeness. So Assange somehow evades the people watching for him to leave the embassy and gets on a flight to ‘Murica. And the SECOND the plane levels out three disguised US Marshals get up and handcuff the little shit to his seat, and when they land the FBI carts him off the plane for a few hours of ‘friendly questioning.’
    Just a thought. Just a thought.

  • gene108

    Serious question, if Assange steps out of the Ecuadorian embassy, isn’t the first order of the day is the Brits arrest him for rape charges in Sweden?

    I know some in America want to arrest him, but have we actually put together an actual case against him that would supersede the Swedish rape charges, with regards to whom the Brits send him to for trial?

    • capnkrunch

      Nope. Unfortunately.

      So when Sweden’s prosecutors announced on Friday that they were abandoning their attempt to extradite him, invalidating the warrant for his arrest, Mr. Assange proclaimed it a happy moment of vindication. “Today was an important victory,” he said.

      Source: New York Times

  • gilderbeast

    Let’s assume that Assange did indeed not colab with the Russians
    Unlikely but for argument’s sake let’s assume he didn’t…
    He’s a moron for thinking Trump won’t backstab him for even a slight poll bump.
    Trump’s prokises aren’t worth the air they’re spoken with, nor the paper they’re printed on

    • capnkrunch

      Or the entropy introduced into the universe by his metabolic processes.

  • FlownΩver

    A deal? You say you want a deal, Julian?

    [Terms of deal deleted because commenting rules]

    Sign here.

    • Lord Jim

      ASSange’s rectum. A garden weasel. Imagine the possibilities.

  • DrBigHead

    I suspect Mr. Rohrabacher will be hearing from Mr. Mueller very soon.

  • Marla

    Rohrabacher you are a disgrace and a traitor. Can’t wait until you are voted the fuck out of office for good.

  • Jgb979

    They all got turned away when the bartender said they don’t accept Rubles.

  • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

    Assanger can rot.

  • Angela Ruzzo

    I’d love to hear what Winston Churchill would say about all of this. It would be pithy. That’s a great word, “pithy” – I don’t get to use it very often, so I’m going to use it again. I bet Chuck Johnson never says “pithy.”

  • Johnatx

    Is this the same Charles Johnson that allegedly pooped himself?

    • covfefesumgame0005


    • covfefesumgame0005

      make sure not to mix him up with this Charles Johnson! very different people!

      • Pierre_de_Fermat

        Yeah. Very different.

  • JD Mulvey

    Why should Trump care what Pompeo and Sessions say? They’re not the boss of him!!

    In fact if they advise against Trump snuggling with Assange –he’ll do it just to spite them! Because that’s how we make important national security decisions now.

  • Pat_Pending

    Hm. If Pompeo thinks Assange is a Nazi, then clearly the White House occupant would welcome him with open arms. Maybe he can help him proofread his tweets while he’s sitting on the shitter.

    • covfefesumgame0005

      Chuckles would cut out the middle toilet and have Drumpf shit right in his mouth


    I’m guessing “google me prick” is either an award winning battle cry of crybaby bloggers or maybe a pick-up line for Scottish janitors???

    • SeeTrain65

      “World’s Most Unfuckable Virgin” is not a valid award, Chuck.

  • cheetojeebus

    So, in other words, a sitting Congressman has collaborated with a known foreign asset to disseminate Russian agitprop via official Congressional stationary? Also too, fuck him.

  • BreakingDeadMen

    He just went full traitor. Never go full traitor, Dana.

  • theblackdog

    Please tell me there’s about 50 Democrats lined up to run against this prick in 2018

    • BreakingDeadMen

      CA dems are focusing on getting rid of him.

    • Wookie Monster

      It’s Orange County, so they may have trouble finding fifty democrats who live there.

  • Rags

    Julian’s secret message to 4-5? “I have the pee tape.”

  • eastcoastlib

    Assange is watching the train wreck he helped put in office and figuring this can’t last much longer. Better get a pardon from the moron before he makes his exit. It’s now or never for him. Anyone else sitting in the oval office would do whatever they can to be sure this scumbag never escapes his gilded cage.

  • Incoming Ham

    Meme change: This Asshole Again” to “These Assholes Again.” There always seem to be multiple,

  • Little Lulu Ω

    There’s actually a House Foreign Affairs Subcommittee on Europe, Eurasia, and Emerging Threats? And Rohrbacher chairs this? Did Paul Ryan let him create his very own made-up-sounding committee so long as Dana stopped sniffing Ryan’s gym shorts? And where is this “Eurasia” exactly?

  • Mavenmaven

    These days treason is cool!

  • House0fTheBlueLights

    WH Press credentials? Isn’t not being part of the regular established press and government kinda the ENTIRE POINT OF WIKILEAKS?

  • anon_the_great

    God, this is Anon. I know we’re not close. Haven’t spoken in decades. Fact is I’ve been a right bastard when it comes to honoring you but I have a favor to ask. On behalf of all humanity actually. Please put Assange under the jurisdiction Robert Mueller. Amen

    • And God, I know it’s not right to wish ill on another, but could you please give Donald Trump a little stroke or something? Just enough to make it really clear that he hasn’t got the mental capacity to serve as President?

  • Michael Smith

    Is it.. can..

    Can I drink yet?

    • NeoliberalBanksterCaptainHowdy

      The 7-11 wasn’t open at 6 a.m.? Am I missing something?

  • WotsAllThisThen

    Trey Gowdy said Wikileaks didn’t affect the election. Maybe he needs to talk to his colleague who just said it did.

    • Canis Greyhame

      He meant all by themselves? He wants to make sure we at least give his Benghazi fuckery committee some of the blame credit, I guess.

  • Carpe Vagenda
    • NeoliberalBanksterCaptainHowdy

      GMTA, something.

    • Canis Greyhame

      Kremlin asset, confirmed! I mean, we already knew, but it’s like Trump telling the world how he really feels about the Nazis invading Charlottesville.

    • SeeTrain65

      “We’ll choose what WikiLeaks, fuck you very much.”

      You’re not even hiding it anymore, Julian.

      • Carpe Vagenda

        Can we quit pretending Glenn Greenwald didn’t burn Reality Winner?

        • SeeTrain65

          I’m game. Count me in.

  • NeoliberalBanksterCaptainHowdy

    Wikileaks refused to publish massive hack of Russian government intel during 2016 US presidential campaign

  • Canis Greyhame

    What the Actual Fuck? No one should get to continue being the representative from Orange County after blatantly participating in Kremlin PSYOP attacks against the United States (AGAIN)! Is it some kind of white privilege thing? Seriously, Orange County, just wtf is wrong with you down there in the O.C.?

  • Bill Patterson
  • mancityRed6

    so, a White House that cares so passionately about leaks is going to be convinced to let a guy who contributes? (does he even run it anymore?) or at least started a website called WIki leaks.
    If I thought Sessions had any intelligence, I’d say Rohrabacher is being used to lull him into a false sense of security, but I doubt it.

  • Zyxomma

    Try lavender essential oil for that headache, Evan. Better yet, go throw the squeaky chicken in the back yard for Lula.

  • I hereby award Evan Hurst the coveted Bryan Award of International Journalism Excellence Award for Excellent Journalism, so now he is a AWARD-WINNING JOURNALIST just like them other shlubs. Except I like Evan more better.

  • Portia McGonagal

    Just when you think the shitshow can’t get any nuttier than squirrel turds.

  • Pierre_de_Fermat

    Rohrabacher has been thought of as some sort of Russkie agent for years. How does he get elected in Orange County?

    • dshwa

      Tax cuts.

    • phoenix00


    • thixotropic jerk

      Have you been to the OC?

      • Pierre_de_Fermat

        A long time ago. Surprised all the retired vets down there would vote for the guy.

        • cessnadriver

          If the republikkkan kkkandidate is a little bag of dog crap, OC repig skkkum will vote for it.

    • kfreed

      The same way Trump got elected. It’s a chicken and egg thing. Massive disinformation campaigns, election hacking, voter suppression, media failure, fringe politics… and people too stupid to recognize far right propaganda (looking at you, Bernie Bros/Greens) when it walks up and sneers in your face. Lesson: thou shalt not climb into bed with Libertarians/Birchers… EVAR: >>>

      Oh… and about Eric Prince’s (formerly of Blackwater) suggestion that the U.S. (Trump) hand him 10 Billion to conduct a private war in Afghanistan. It happens to be Ron “White Power” Paul’s idea:

      “Another Bad Idea From Ron Paul: Letters of Marque and Reprisal by Gregory Hilton” <<< Southern Poverty Law Center contributor

      Ron Paul, dear progressives, is not "anti-war." He's a old time white supremacist/Bircher who believes "the Jews" started every war ever (including WWII). Here's video of Ron Paul's Bircher conspiracy theories:

      We've only been trying to tell "progressives" (Greens/Bernie or Bust) this for years now.

      Oh, and guess who spent years lying to progressives about Ron Paul's supposed virtues. Glenn Greenwald:

  • Wasn’t Rohrabacher the represented that McCarthy fingered? I guess it’s a contract year or something so Rohrabacher is stepping up his game to go for the big bonus clauses or make a lucrative trade.

    • BillEGoatSmirk

      Yup. At the RNC, as I recall, McCarthy was spouting off about ol’ Dana being on the Russian payroll and Paulie-Walnuts told him to shut up. ‘Keep it in the family.’….Let’s hope Dana attracts the attention of Bob Mueller and drags the granny-killer from Wisconsin down with him.

  • Vagenda and Pee-ara

    Dana Rohrbachet (R-ussia).

  • NotConvinced

    Cast your peepers on this Brain Trust.

  • RugzYaBurnt

    It’s just like those cartoon girl bands that always had a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead, except instead of playing keytar and drums they commit treason with Russia! Oh, and except ugly!

  • mfp, all 6s&7s&9s

    “Like the brady bunch, except…”

    no…more like the three stooges, only dumber and not funny…also…have julian assange and bill maher ever been seen in the same embassy at the same time, ever…EH-VAH??..HEENNNNNGGGGH??!11!!1!!

  • phoenix00


  • thixotropic jerk

    Roarback is now my congressman. Imagine my joy at discovering this traitorous Russia-blowing prick is my rep. Already took part in two protest marches at his SoCal office. I hope Mueller includes this lying sack in his proceedings against Der Trumpty Dumper because HoarBux needs to be stuck in a dark and extreme justice-y hole for the rest of his unnatural lizard life. GitMo for congress critters!

  • Vacuous Virgina

    A herd (?) of lemmings walked into a bar.

    Ouch, ouch, ouch …

  • josephebacon

    OK I want to know who is financing Chucky the Floorshitter.

    Is it YOU–Peter Thiel?????????

    • kfreed

      All roads lead to Koch/Libertarians:

      Bernie, the tool, and his bros/bro-ettes need to stop takimg their marching orders from Libertarian Glenn Greenwald and his far right host, Assange.

  • sgt. jmk of the résistance

    “Wikileaks founder Julian Assange on Wednesday told Rep. Dana Rohrabacher that Russia was not behind leaks of emails during last year’s presidential election campaign…”

    Ugh… I just rolled my eyes so hard I think I saw my brain stem.

    Seriously…if it’s freaking obvious to me, even without meeting him and with no previous training, that Assange is the kind of self-adoring asshat who needs to feel like he’s the super-cool dude with all the inside info, and that he’s in control of every situation he’s in, then it would take a Russian spy about 2.4 seconds to figure that out and structure his manipulation accordingly.

  • Metadude

    No doubt Julian is passing on his winning ways with the ladies.

  • chadingo

    pardon me

  • kfreed

    Good on you, Evan. You’ve broken free from the disinformation bubble Libertarian Glenn Greenwald (and his employers over at Cato) spent so much time lovingly constructing for earnest progressives who swallowed far right propaganda by the handful (for the purpose of destroying a Democratic President and installing a fascist.) Stay tuned. This gets better and better. Oh, and we told you so..


  • kfreed

    Evan (please forward this to Glenn Greenwald from me – he’ll know who it’s from):

    Would you care to know WHY/HOW Rohrbacher can support ISIS on the one hand and neo-Nazis (looking at you Chuck Johnson/Weev. et. al.) on the other? Here’s a clue:

    Southern Poverty Law Center (2002): “In the wake of Sept. 11, new light is thrown on the international ties increasingly linking Muslim and neo-Nazi extremists.”

    As Syrian refugees fled to the West to escape ISIS, there was a sudden onslaught of Muslim “immigrants” assaulting European women, at which point the European Nazis (who had been equally brutal toward women) rose up to “defend” the victims. Bullshit. Extremists are working together. They have a history of it. Why? To destroy Western democracies… see also: Putin. .Just recently, neo-Nazis attempted to exploit the Barcelona attacks and got their arses kicked.

    THAT is why we do NOT defend terrorists of ANY stripe. We learn, rather, to separate the innocent (mainstream Muslims) from the guilty: Muslim terrorists. THIS is not how we go about it (looking at you, Greenwald): >>>

    P.S. Greenwald’s defense of Nazis: “free speech” my arse, Greenwald, you ratferking maniac:

    YOU LOSE: “Civil Liberties Body ACLU Will No Longer Defend Gun-Carrying Protest Groups”

    BTW, Greenwald, thanks bunches:) All it took was for Nazis to show up armed in public for the left to understand why we do not get in bed with Nazis (or Puitn) AND why we DO NOT hand our government to the likes of Trump and his cabal of fascists because “both sides,” you despicable lying fuck:

    Oh, and Greenwald: Trump is going down, Assange is going down, Ron Paul is going down, the Nazis are going down, the GOP and their Koch handlers are going down, and you’re finished. Bank. on. it. I see jail time in your future (Trump/Russia). Your pro-Putin propaganda will finally seal the deal.

    Bernie Sanders, unpucker your lips from Greenwald’s arse, you tool, and help us fight this. You’ve been had, old man… time to stop playing political reindeer games.

  • kfreed

    P.S.S. Someone also please explain to Netanyahu that Trump’s Christo-fascists are not on Israel’s side either: >>>

    Just STOP expanding the settlements and sit down at the negotiating table with the Palestinians. Enough already, you ignorant tools.

  • kfreed

    Ahem: Charles “Chuck Gingersnap” Johnson (NOT to be confused with Charles “Nazi Hunter” Johnson of Little Green Footballs) is also a notorious white supremacist whose name has come up in Mueller’s investigation: “Two Notorious ‘Alt-Right’ Figures May Play Key Roles in Russia Investigation”
    Southern Poverty Law Center: :

    The other is Glenn Greenwald’s BFF, neo-Nazi hacker “Weev” of The Daily Stormer (website is now now longer available since having been taken down after Charlottesville Nazi festival):

    Here’s Greenwald’s video defending “Weev”:

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