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True fact: Personal grooming regimen strictly dictated by Andrew Breitbart himself
He just wants to be friends.

First of all, it is bullshit that Steve Bannon had girl talk with Robert Kuttner, a reporter from the American Prospect, and didn’t know he was giving an interview. He may say that, but it’s bullshit. The guy ran/runs Breitbart, and knows what a “reporter” is. As Kuttner explains, Bannon “is not exactly Bambi when it comes to dealing with the press.” Now, did Bannon’s flaky pock-marked ass accidentally dial the reporter when he was drunk? We don’t know, but Bannon says he’s a teetotaler, so probably not! (We don’t understand how teetotalers get skin that bad, but hey, MAYBE he really doesn’t drink.)

Regardless, oh boy, what a conversation they had! Kuttner says the call was unsolicited, and you’ll pardon us for assuming most human interactions with Steve Bannon are unsolicited. It happened Tuesday afternoon, presumably after Donald Trump did his best impression of the Stupidest Hitler, and stuck up for the Nazis in Charlottesville. (The president is still doing that this morning, on Twitter, bitching and man-baby crying about how every time a Confederate monument comes down, a Nazi angel gets punched in the dick. Sad!)

The most important takeaway is that Steve Bannon, the guy who allegedly told his wife he didn’t want his kids going to school with a bunch of fucking Jews, thinks white supremacists are total losers. Yes, this is the same Steve Bannon who used his internet platform, Dead Breitbart’s Home For White Guys Who Don’t Usually Get Erections, to mainstream white supremacists and Nazis.

“Ethno-nationalism—it’s losers. It’s a fringe element. I think the media plays it up too much, and we gotta help crush it, you know, uh, help crush it more.”

“These guys are a collection of clowns,” he added.

Well OK then! We’re skeptical!

A lot of the interview seems to be Bannon’s way of pushing back on the swirl of rumors that he’s losing his influence in the White House, or that he might be fired and have to spend the rest of his life picking skin tags off his grundle all by himself in some place that isn’t the White House. (Not gonna happen. Bannon is the boss of Donald Trump, and if he didn’t get fired for calling Jared Kushner a “cuck,” i.e. saying his boss’s daughter bones black dudes while his boss’s son-in-law watches, he should be fairly safe.)

He discussed his brilliant thoughts about China, and said “there’s no military solution” when it comes to North Korea, which is a wildly different stance from when Donald Trump attempted to appear manly and said he was going to do “fire, fury and frankly power” to the pathetic little rogue nation. Considering all that, he sees no reason not to be “maniacally focused” on having a trade war with China, because #reasons.

He also says he’s going to fire all the normal people at all the departments and replace them with stinky racist buckets of dick cheese like himself:

“I’m changing out people at East Asian Defense; I’m getting hawks in. I’m getting Susan Thornton [acting head of East Asian and Pacific Affairs] out at State.”

But can Bannon really win that fight internally?

“That’s a fight I fight every day here,” he said. “We’re still fighting. There’s Treasury and [National Economic Council chair] Gary Cohn and Goldman Sachs lobbying.”

“We gotta do this. The president’s default position is to do it, but the apparatus is going crazy. Don’t get me wrong. It’s like, every day.”

OK, whatever that means, big hairy gin-soaked crusty jizz face man.

Fun fact: As we were writing this, MSNBC aired a live clip of Secretary of State Rex Tillerson being very publicly nice to Susan Thornton. Perhaps that is Tillerson’s way of saying, “As soon as I wake up from this nap, FUCK Steve Bannon, right in his ear.”

Anyway, Steve Bannon is disgusting and we’re glad he doesn’t call us for unsolicited phone sexxx, the end.

Wonkette salaries are fully funded by lovely souls like you! If you love us, click below to pay our salaries!

[The American Prospect]

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  • proudgrampa

    His language is very telling: “I”M gonna do…”

    President Bannon.

  • Joe Beese
    • You can hear the sound his thighs make as he peels himself off that naugahyde.

      • Joe Beese

        Ew.

    • grindstone

      I never knew my vagina could literally slam shut and retract into my abdomen.

      • wide_stance_hubby

        I heard it from here!

    • Jenny

      I had no idea vaginas were detachable. Mine just ran away. Now I have to go catch it before it runs into traffic or something. Thanks a lot!!

      • NastyBossetti

        Mine retreated even FURTHER into my body.

      • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

        you can put it in the sink.

        (sorry, Archer reference).

        • MrTusks

          It’s like a transistor radio had a baby with a veal cutlet!

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      You could deep fry a turkey with the grease left behind on that couch when he stands up.

  • I found the phone transcript difficult to masturbate to.

    • MrTusks

      Nevertheless, you persisted?

  • BigCSouthside

    The entire subtext of this interview:

    “I fucking dare you to fire me”

    • Walter Wellstone

      More like “I fucking dare you to question me.”

  • Gee, Your Hair Smells Horrific

    Here’s a scary idea: Bannon now has enough dirt on Trump that he can openly display his influence with no fear of consequences.

    • Joe Beese

      Eh. He has no power except what he can exert through Trump.

      • Gee, Your Hair Smells Horrific

        Well, we’ll see if he gets fired or not.

        • Joe Beese

          Oh, Trump may be too chicken to fire him. But the worst case scenario is that Bannon gets to suck on the public teat for a while.

          • wide_stance_hubby

            Think Dolt 45 knows why Bannon had a hot tub full of acid?

    • JMP

      He’s got the piss tape as well.

      • Gee, Your Hair Smells Horrific

        Who knows. I’m sure there’s a lot of info he could leverage.

    • Baconzgood

      Pretty much.

  • Shanzgood

    Not sure if this is OT or not but here goes.

    Does anyone know if this is a real thing or not? The alt-righties keep squealing “NUH UH!” but I’ve seen it lots of places, even here on Wonkette as I recall.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/0992f72262b27191f5b7ec27822343243cc5eae9bdb04c1d49325949a7d4debe.jpg

    • wide_stance_hubby

      To take the universally loved sign for jerking off and/or smoking a joint and turn it into something so ugly. . .so ugly.

    • Jenny

      I don’t think Trump is smart enough to sneak in hidden body language too. His mouth hole does enough.

    • Joe Beese
      • Joe Beese

        I mean, it’s been around a long time.

    • jesterpunk
      • Walter Wellstone

        Slightly related … these are the alpha males of the Alt-Right?

        • jesterpunk

          I think so.

          • Skeptical_thinker

            I pissed myself laughing!

      • shivaskeeper

        Real life trolling to see if we would fall for it and be outraged.

      • Oblios_Cap

        That picture of Hoft and his buttboy really is off-putting.

        • jesterpunk

          I dont know which one Hoft is and wish I didnt know who any of the people in that picture where.

          • Antonin Dvorak

            Blonde hair and glasses in bottom right pic.

        • Celtic_Gnome

          I wonder if ButtBoy calls him Daddy?

    • DerrickWildcat

      Not really real.

    • Yes, Trump of Nazireth consistently flashed this signal to his White Supremacist base during his Imprompturette speech the other day.

      It’s actually a gesture of goodwill, but Nazi’s twist everything into evil. Just like they stole the Buddhist symbol.

      • shivaskeeper

        That’s just the way he talks. He moves his hands around and does things with them. He wasn;t flashing signs. He’s bad enough without adding fake things to what he does and says.

        • I’m sorry…I just added the sarcasm notation as an edit.😆

          • shivaskeeper

            I see. I missed it.

    • WIDTAP

      It’s a whole trolling thing that the alt-right have to try to get a reaction. They play the same game with drinking milk, hoping to get a rise out of others on the most mundane shit. Radiolab had a pretty good summary in the first few minutes of this podcast: http://www.radiolab.org/story/truth-warriors/

    • JMP

      The white supremacists have tried to make it a thing; no it doesn’t make any sense.

    • shivaskeeper

      Sort of real. It was real life trolling. “Let’s see if we can get the stupid libtard media to fall for this.” is what is was.

      Sadly it sort of worked as people did fall for it, so the assholes get to go back and say, “see you fell for that bullshit, and it was fake, what else are you wrong about?”.

      • MrTusks

        And then they’ll push the “joke” for so long that it will become a sincere hate code.

        • shivaskeeper

          That’s always a possibility. One thing about the people who start this shit and the people who end up taking it seriously:

          The ones making this shit up tend to be real life trolls who aren’t particularly stupid and don’t really believe this crap. The ones who do fall got it are stupid and yes to be true believers.

    • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist
    • Stulexington

      Damnit! I spent weeks retraining myself to use the okay hand signal because thumbs up means “I need to go up now” in diving hand signals. Now I need to switch it back!

    • spangled

      4chan is trying to troll people into thinking the “OK” symbol is a white supremacist one. so they can be like “oh liberals are so sensitive, they think anyone doing the ok sign is a racist”

      the problem is, if a bunch of nazis declare something to be their symbol, even if they’re joking….well it is kind of their symbol. on the internet/in alt right spaces at least.

      don’t know that twitter user but the #powerhandprivilege makes me think they’re a fake liberal.

    • Robbertjan Brandenburg

      I do know that this is how Donnie jerks off.

    • Baconzgood

      It’s like their gang sign. Not as cool as Crips though.

    • TJ Barke

      It started as a troll joke, pretty sure it’s a real thing now

    • Oblios_Cap

      I think you’ve got to stick the index finger of your other hand through the “P” and move it back and forth rapidly to complete the gang sign..

  • exinkwretch

    Why, yes — Steve does not drink. He has an expert cosmetologist add those gin blossoms to his nose to reinforce the graying, fat, slovenly look that drives the ladies wild!

  • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

    Steve is the masterleaker.

    • exinkwretch

      Not to mention master debater.

  • Jenny

    Of course he thinks nationalists are clowns. Look at their Brietbart comments. He just likes the monies they provide. Useful idiots just like President KKK.

  • jesterpunk

    (The president is still doing that this morning, on Twitter, bitching and man-baby crying about how every time a Confederate monument comes down, a Nazi angel gets punched in the dick. Sad!)

    Sounds like a reason to remove all the Confederate monuments.

  • Ricky Gay
    • Nockular cavity

      Eyes Littledick with sad intent…

      • Eileen Besse

        “…with BAD intent.”

    • VirginiaWackelpudding

      Serious Tull libelz.

  • WIDTAP

    “there’s no military solution”

    Well no shit, Sherlock. When did you discover that Seoul was within artillery distance of the DMZ. Clue #2: Japan has been within rocket distance for some time now. The whole “Hey! Let’s play Russian Roulette with Nukes!” thing was always a bullshit plan.

    • Beanz&Berryz

      Bullshit, and moranically stupid as fuck…

  • Ezio
    • Beanz&Berryz

      Damn.. I just hocked up one of those guys…

  • JMP

    Shut up, Steve, you’re drunk.

  • Indiepalin

    Of course Bannon is correct. The Alt-Right is, in reality, a conglomeration of leftist groups undertaking false flag operations to take down an legitimately elected President.

    • Latverian Diplomat

      “Just because I know how pathetic they are, doesn’t mean I’m not rootin’ for ’em.”
      — Steve Bannon

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      How could I have not seen this before? Thank you, Steve, for removing the scales from my eyes.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Naturally! Why, I have it on the good authority of Alex Jones that this has been the insidious Jooo plan all along!

    • WeaselPoo

      Are you sure it isn’t Hillary making Trump look bad by….you know….being super qualified and actually smart and not being a lying narcissistic nazi with tiny hands?

  • Joe Beese

    Mitch McConnell’s secret fury over Charlottesville response highlights GOP’s Trump dilemma

    “secret” = “counts for shit”

    • jesterpunk

      So do something about it or STFU.

    • jowgajen

      Heather and her fellow protesters put their bodies in the street. They didn’t keep their fury secret. Be Heather.

    • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

      He’s wife didn’t look furious standing there while Trump spewed.

      • House0fTheBlueLights

        It’s the drugs.

        • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

          Fantastic drugs. But I wouldn’t expect anything less with their healthcare.

      • AnnieGetYerFun

        I’m certain that she tunes out everything that he says.

    • Ricky Gay

      He knows the Trumpers would just flip him on to his shell and let him bake in the sun.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        That’s what I would do with him. Yertle makes all of us replicants.

      • TJ Barke

        “What’s a McConnell?”
        “Know what a turtle is?”
        “Yeah…”
        “Same thing”

    • Incoming Ham

      None of the GOP up for re-election are going to say a serious word against Cheeto Jesus. They think they need his constituency to win the 2018 elections. That’s why they are so quiet. After that? Maybe they will do something, but the damage will have been done, and it could be considerable.

    • OneYieldRegular

      McConnell looks like he’s kept all of his fury secret his entire life.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Mitch McConnell’s secret furry says what now?

    • Candy Matson Y-28209

      So weird that his wife is still on board the Trump train though. And Mitch McConnell has been propping up that asshole more than anyone

  • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

    Anyone call the Ghostbusters on Bannon yet?

    • Robbertjan Brandenburg

      Meh, Slimer was friends with the ghostbusters.

  • Stulexington

    So I heard a rumour that Bannon is the real leaker …

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Several people predicted last night that Bannon will be fired today.

  • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

    ““I’m changing out people at East Asian Defense; I’m getting hawks in. I’m getting Susan Thornton [acting head of East Asian and Pacific Affairs] out at State.”

    Wait, WHY THE FUCK IS STEVE BANNON STILL MAKING FOREIGN POLICY AND NATIONAL SECURITY DECISIONS?

    remember how he got bounced out of the NSC, apparently, he’s not a part of it, but he still attends hte meetings.”

    • Joe Beese

      He may not have as much power as he pretends.

    • Ezio

      I don’t know about you, but I feel like the term “East Asia Defense” sounds like someone who wants to bring back the Chinese Exclusion act.

    • WeaselPoo

      Any reporters called Susan Thornton yet?

      • AnnieGetYerFun

        Right? It must be so amazing to learn that your career is probably over because some washed-up neo-Nazi has the ear of the President.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      John Kelly’s discipline obviously has jumped right over Bannon and headed on to some other office.

    • Stulexington

      And they hate having him there, he steals all the donuts with sprinkles.

  • MynameisBlarney

    A teetotaler…

    Riiiiiiiiiiiight.

    • HorseChestnut

      If you drink hand sanitizer instead of gin, it doesn’t count.

      • Suttree

        Mouthwash also too.

      • shivaskeeper

        Sterno libelz.

      • cheetojeebus

        Bannon out behind the Whitehouse sitting beside a shitty little campfire, “See what ya do is cut both ends off a stale loaf of bread and pour the sterno through it into a tin can, voila! The Canned Heat Cocktail.”

    • Latverian Diplomat

      It’s true. He hasn’t touched a teat in years…

      • MynameisBlarney

        Except his own.

  • Latverian Diplomat

    The East Asian Defense was Trump’s opening in his little game of chess with Barron the other day. Barron conceded after daddy nuked one of his rooks.

  • Proud Liberal
    • Beanz&Berryz

      The hide in plain sight plan might not be working so well…

    • Latverian Diplomat

      “Game over, man, Game Over!”

    • jowgajen

      potus* isn’t going to jail. That’s the one thing you can be sure of.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        He won’t be POTUS when he goes to prison to die.

        • “Disgraced Crooked New York Real Estate Money Launderer who briefly served as President was sentenced today to…”

      • Msgr_MΩment

        Non-federal crimes. Just sayin’.

      • proudgrampa

        Unfortunately, true.

      • wide_stance_hubby

        The IC promised us he would die in jail months ago. I’m clinging to this like a religious gun.

    • TJ Barke

      Oh please FSM let it be true!

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      Doubling down on the confederate statues. A rally in Phoenix where he’s going to turn up the hate rhetoric on immigration, and he’ll likely tell them he’s going to pardon Araphaio and call him an American hero.
      He’s been dog whistling it before, but now he’s very very close to openly calling for his base to turnout armed in the streets to defend him.

  • Suttree

    I wonder how Blighfart will be covering this story? *dons protective gear* Huh. They don’t have shit to say about this story.

    • Permit-holder Ron

      ‘What story? That? It didn’t happen. Fake news!’

  • Joe Beese
    • WIDTAP

      Outstanding! Go get ’em.

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      She couldn’t go to UofChicago because she doesn’t qualify under Trumps EO.

      (I made that up)

      • CripesAmighty

        And prolly said Milton Friedman was a shmuck.

    • proudgrampa

      Malala for President!!!

      We’ll take care of the constitutional issues later…

      • Juan de Fuca

        I was just gonna say “You know what would really make America that great, shining city on the hill?”

    • OneYieldRegular

      And double congratulations for being able to escape this country for the next four years!

      • OrdinaryJoe

        She has lived in Great Britain since her surgury.

  • JMP

    Yeah, Steve, you took over a wingnut site after it’s owner ODed on alcohol and cocaine and turned it from a place filled with racist dog-whistles to an overtly white supremacist and neo-Nazi hate site, the biggest one on the internet, so you don’t get to disassociate yourself from the hate movement that you are a huge part of.

  • Ezio

    “I condemn ethno-nationalists, but hey, if they want to read my publication and be emboldened by it, I won’t make a stink about it.” -Steve Bannon

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    I’m pretty fucking sick of constantly hearing about all this internal White House infighting and palace intrigue, and media speculation (Wonkette excluded, obvs) about who’s next on the chopping block. Trump’s managerial philosophy is one of division and humiliation. He does it with his own spawn…the cookie/kick in the teeth paradigm allows him to control people by constantly pitting them against one another. You’re working for a malignant sociopath and an avowed racist. You know this. STFU or GTFO.

    • Self-avowed rapist, also to

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        That seems to be viewed as a positive amongst his acolytes. “He doesn’t follow the usual rules!”.

    • Jay B.

      Well, one thing’s for sure, that Kelly has really tightened things up over there at the White House.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        It’s a well-oiled machine, innit?

  • Villago Delenda Est

    He’s going to try to pull a Mooch and blame the reporter for his own failure to specify that this was “off the record.” No, you shitstain, you don’t get to do that the morning after. You’re still pregnant, not just a little bit.

  • Baconzgood

    This dude got such an important job how?

    • JMP

      The white supremacist good old rich idiot boys’ network.

    • jowgajen

      Flattery and oral dexterity, we presume.

      • Baconzgood

        Is that like grinder or monster?

    • Ezio

      Underqualified white men getting hired by other underqualified white men is what is known as “white privilege”.

  • LouRod

    “The president is on Twitter, bitching and man-baby crying about how every time a Confederate monument comes down, a Nazi angel gets punched in the dick. Sad!”

    LOL!!!!!!

    • Stulexington

      I call that a win win.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      The more Nazi angels punched in the dick, the better.

    • Oblios_Cap

      There are no Nazi angels.

      • AnnieGetYerFun

        Well, there are no angels, so…

  • NastyBossetti

    “spend the rest of his life picking skin tags off his grundle all by himself”

    Evan. Come on. Why are you violencing my mind’s eye with these terrible word pictures?

  • House0fTheBlueLights

    Frankly, the best part was when he called Kim Jong Un and Trump a pair of blundering fools. #truestory (although paraphrased)

  • Mr. Blobfish

    Since trump surrounds himself with attractive people, how does this guy hang around? The only reason I can think of is when this all comes crashing down, trump and Bannon are gonna start up their media empire, which itself will come crashing down.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      See Grey, Dorian.

      • Permit-holder Ron

        Bannon’s portrait must look like Adonis by now.

  • Joe Beese

    I’ll give you two cynical possibilities. My hot-take speculation of the last few days has been that Bannon is resigned to leaving the White House soon, having concluded that Trump’s first term can only end in failure now, but wants to be make sure he’s fired rather than pressured into quitting somehow. Being fired after all the headlines about his war with H.R. McMaster and the “globalists” in the West Wing would make him a martyr to the nationalist cause, which will be great for his stature when he returns to populist media. Resigning makes him a quitter, albeit a sympathetic one to his constituents. Being fired makes him a sacrifice, betrayed by the president whom America’s right-wing populists elected. If he’s booted, Bannon might end up surpassing Trump as the most popular political figure in America among populist activists (assuming he hasn’t already). Under this theory, the North Korea stuff is really just a parting kick in the nuts to McMaster, portraying him implicitly as a liar who’s telling Americans that the military will protect them from NorK nukes when it really can’t. There’s a flaw in the theory, though: If Bannon’s anticipating becoming the champion of American populists, why’d he bash “ethno-nationalism” in the Kuttner interview? Not all populists are alt-righters, of course, but they’re part of the broader right. By talking about “crushing” them, Bannon’s setting up a conflict within right-wing populism rather than trying to unify it behind him by smoothing over its differences.

    The other theory is that he very much doesn’t want to be fired and did the Kuttner interview as a shot across Trump’s bow, warning him that he can make plenty of trouble for the White House if he’s removed. On this reading, exposing Trump’s North Korea rhetoric as a bluff is a bet-the-house gamble by Bannon: He’s showing the president that he’s willing and able to publicly undermine his tough talk about foreign policy and trade to Trump’s populist base if Trump makes an enemy of him by canning him. Meanwhile, if Trump doesn’t can him for calling BS on the administration’s North Korea position, Bannon will appear bulletproof to all of his rivals inside the White House. He’ll have gotten away with embarrassing the president and his national-security team and survived, which will operate almost as a formal announcement that Trump can’t fire him for fear of alienating his own base — especially the Mercer family that supports Bannon.

    The two theories aren’t strictly contradictory. Bannon may be unhappy enough with the environment inside the West Wing and the trajectory of Trump’s presidency right now that he decided to make a power play to try to change it. If Trump lets him slide on the Kuttner interview, it serves notice to Kelly and McMaster that Bannon doesn’t answer to them like other Trump advisors do. If Trump ends up firing him, no biggie: Bannon rides off into the sunset as a populist hero who refused to compromise and was ousted in a “globalist” coup. Either he’ll regain some stature in the White House or he’ll be martyred and build further stature among the nationalist right.

    http://hotair.com/archives/2017/08/17/no-really-steve-bannon-interview-yesterday/

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Bannon demonstrates the truth of Nigel Tufnel’s observation about clever and stupid.

      • David Chaillou

        Doubt that. He has an agenda you may disagree with, and which may prove unfeasible, but he’s a man of convictions.

    • David Chaillou

      I think he wants Trump to commit, one way or another: the Bannon road against everybody else, or the bankers’ road against the nationalist right.

      Edit. I think he’s trying to ride on Trump’s post-charlotesville realisation that nothing he does will satisfy the mainstream, so he would be better off turning full speed on the nationalist road.

    • Red Bird

      He’s just trying to save face. In or out he knows things will be harder than he thought. He’s doing the equivalent of a mean girl searching for support after her secret gets out.

  • TJ Barke

    There’s no military solution to NK but he wants to put more war mongers into the department that focuses on the region?
    The fuck?

    • Stulexington

      There’s no military solution … yet.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        Some “solution”. Millions dead, Seoul in ruins, Tokyo a radioactive wasteland.

        • Msgr_MΩment

          Some of their people would see that as doubleplus good.

        • Stulexington

          Yeah, here’s hoping the warhawks drag their feet till he’s lost interest.

      • Permit-holder Ron

        Weirdly, I think they’ve hit on a solution entirely by accident. After all, The Littlest Kim decided to hold off on his missile launch and just watch to see what the ‘foolish Yankees’ do. Either this is a reaction to Donnie’s going full-Nazi or Un’s a big Red Sox fan.

    • Anna Rompage

      He want’s global turmoil and continuous war. Something about his parents not buying him a pony, or a Red Rider BB Gun when he was a little child…

      • beatbort

        Bannon should be “banned” from using the word “solution”. Sounds a bit, uh, Hitlerish, if you catch my drift.

        • PubOption

          He’s just working on the preliminary solutions at the moment.

      • miss_grundy

        Or a sled….

    • Antonin Dvorak

      He is a self-proclaimed nihilist. He literally wants to watch the world burn.

  • Bill D. Burger

    Bannon….and now this! The Trump setbacks continue….

    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DG6Afk5XoAAdzXp.jpg

    • Blanche Beecham

      Do all these people have fatty liver?

      • Jeffery Campbell

        Can’t comment on that, but I feel sure there isn’t one functional brain among the lot of them.

        • Little Lulu Ω

          Twelve teeth, though.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      The redhead 2nd from the left doesn’t look too bad. The rest, though, are your typical “Master Race” types.

      • Bill D. Burger

        She must be part of the ‘Trump Youth’?

      • Suttree

        She just joined the rest a week ago. Give it a month or two.

        • Villago Delenda Est

          Let the meth work its magic?

        • schmannity

          Meth is a helluva drug.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      If you had called them the ‘Masturbation Race’, I’d never touch my dick again.

    • Beanz&Berryz

      It took me a minute to realize that that little thing under the belly of the guy in the middle was his fly, and not his dick… Phew!

    • jowgajen

      I’m uncomfortable with this meme. I was reading an account by one of the white nationalists in Charlottesville, and he called the counter protesters “genetic refuse”, the exact sort of vile ideology that German Nazis espoused in the 30s and 40s that led to the murder of millions.

      Judge these people by their stupid and hateful actions. But please don’t put up a picture and make reference to their looks and circumstances of birth. It’s too close to accepting some part of the vile rhetoric of the white supremacists.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        There is a fine tradition of putting a mirror up to these twits and pointing out to them how badly they fail to come up to the standards of “racial purity” they speak of. Blond as Hitler, svelte as Göring, buff as Goebbels.

        • Claire

          Good god, but what if this *is* their idea of racial purity? What if they think this is what we should all look like? We’d better start keeping a watchful eye on gyms and hair salons.

      • SomeBigRedDog

        The difference as I see it is that, unlike them, nobody is suggesting that one race as a whole is genetically inferior. Just these five assholes.

        • AnnieGetYerFun

          Well, these five assholes, and a few thousand more like them.

          • SomeBigRedDog

            And I think the media has interviewed every last one of them trying to figure out why they still support Trump. I call it moron porn.

    • Oblios_Cap

      Damn! That guys got bigger boobies than Ms. Oblio.

    • James Baskin

      Glad he took his shirt off.

    • PubOption
    • SomeBigRedDog

      Moobs there needs to do some more meth.

    • moeman

      Is 12 grams a lot? Asking for a friend.

    • Tiny kaiju

      Did they arrest the guy on the far right while he was on the toilet? I see something that looks like the fishbelly flesh of an unhealthy man’s leg in the corner.

  • Bill D. Burger
  • spangled

    evan, i’d rather if you didn’t put the image of Steve Bannon’s butt into my brain.

  • David Chaillou

    Technically you have to distinguish between Breitbart and its contributors on the one hand and its readers on the other hand.

    Breitbart is fascist, nationalist, moderately racist, moderately conspirationist, rabidly anti-Muslim, and not overtly anti-Semitic. A number of regular contributors are openly racist and/or conspirationist.

    As a group, the readers are all of the above, no qualifying disclaimers required.

    • Beanz&Berryz

      I see the difference.

    • WIDTAP

      Ever heard of the phrase “Distinction without a Difference”?
      I just invented it!

  • Msgr_MΩment

    He seems slime.

  • Joe Beese
    • wide_stance_hubby

      Reagan In Name Only!1!

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      “Then he went a gave a speech praising states rights in Neshoba County, Mississippi, a few miles from where Chaney, Schwerner and Goodman were murdered by Klansmen. My father was a hypocritical dickhead”.

    • Juan de Fuca

      He sat back and watched as thousands of his own citizens died horrible deaths from the AIDS epidemic.

      • Joe Beese

        Not to mention his playmates in Central America.

        • alwayspunkindrublic

          “But he told good stories and rode a horse!”

    • miss_grundy

      But Reagan helped create the monsters in the GOP who cater to these assholes.

  • Scooby

    We were playing What Shakespearian Character is he. I went with Lady McBerh.

    • Carpe Vagenda

      He’s the portrait in Grima Wormtongue’s schoolroom.

    • Randy Riddle

      He kinda reminds me of Jonas Wilkerson, the overseer, in “Gone With the Wind”.

    • AnnieGetYerFun

      “Out, out, damn face spots!”

  • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos
    • Mr. Blobfish

      Focus on the economy?!? Isn’t trump crowing every day about how great it is?

    • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

      “Steve Bannon said Thursday that his controversial interview with a liberal magazine writer was a positive for the White House since it slowed down the media’s momentum in covering President Donald Trump’s remarks about the weekend’s violence in Virginia.


      Bannon told DailyMail.com that his remarks ‘drew fire away from POTUS,’ meaning President Trump, and that he successfully ‘changed the [media] narrative’ with a single phone call.

      • Beanz&Berryz

        That’s good political strategery…

      • Permit-holder Ron

        Happily, Two Scoops got on the Twitter machine and drew the fire right back to himself. Because YOU DO NOT DRAW ATTENTION AWAY FROM THE DONALD!

  • Indiepalin

    Also this: Gen. Mattis now admits he was drinking when he tried to declare war on South Korea last week.

  • Carpe Vagenda

    tl;dr: he’s only ironically a nazi.

  • Notreelyhelping

    “Do you really think I should say that? It’s rather disheartening to our storm troopers.”
    “It’ll sound good at the war crimes tribunal.”
    “Ok. Leave it in.”

  • MynameisBlarney

    LOL

    Pseudo-man nazi cosplayer whines about being made fun of over crying about a stupid nazi WATB.

    http://www.rawstory.com/2017/08/i-am-no-coward-neo-nazi-whines-he-has-been-crucified-by-jewish-media-after-crying-video-goes-viral/

    • shivaskeeper

      Consequences. Who knew those were a thing?

    • TJ Barke

      These turds are hopeless.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      He’s wrong. He is a coward. He’s proved it.

  • NotReallyHere

    From the article:

    He dismissed the far right as irrelevant and sidestepped his own role in cultivating it: “Ethno-nationalism—it’s losers. It’s a fringe element. I think the media plays it up too much, and we gotta help crush it, you know, uh, help crush it more.”

    “These guys are a collection of clowns,” he added.

    I’m not sure what to think of this quote, and I’m really unclear as to what he wants to “help crush,” and who exactly are the “collection of clowns.”

    • WotsAllThisThen

      All his readers?

      • NotReallyHere

        I guess the consensus is that he is actually referring to his readers, which I find… confusing. Is he an idiot just like Trump?

        • David Chaillou

          No. He wants to be nationalist and respectable.

          • NotReallyHere

            I don’t think that’s possible.

          • David Chaillou

            Maybe that’s too bad. I think Bannon really roots for working-class America. Doesn’t mean I agree with his views on gender, race, or Islam.

          • Yeah, Bannon cares about the “middle class”. Right.

            That’s why he’s funded by a wealthy hedge fund manager.
            http://www.npr.org/2017/03/22/521083950/inside-the-wealthy-family-that-has-been-funding-steve-bannon-s-plan-for-years

            Who cares about the middle class. Obviously. 😂

          • David Chaillou

            I know about the Mercer money behind Breitbart and Bannon. Are you saying all the billionaires are identical and equally inhuman in their needs and motives ? Walton = Soros = Buffett = Gates = Jobs = Adelson = Slim ?

          • Markus

            What are his views on race as you see them?

          • David Chaillou

            Don’t know. Clearly not anti-Semitic, and I don’t know how much of the anti-Brown, anti-Muslim slime being regurgitated at Breitbart is conviction as opposed to political expediency. If I had to place a bet, I’d say he’s too smart to believe in racism.

          • Markus

            Is anti-White, anti-Christian slime being regurgitated in the msm?

          • David Chaillou

            Anti-white no. Anti-Christian, probably be not in the US but more than you would expect in Europe. Why?

          • Markus

            I’m not great at articulating it. Please take a peak at David Horowitz on twitter:
            https://mobile.twitter.com/horowitz39

          • David Chaillou

            Not interested. That man is dirty.

          • Markus

            What do you mean by dirty?

          • David Chaillou

            Uses his intelligence to deceive others, which is one of the worst sins in my book.

          • Markus

            Site an example of his deception

          • Markus

            Site one example of his deceit

          • Markus

            Tapping feet patiently waiting…….

  • Joe Beese

    RedState:

    While the [“collection of clowns”] statement itself is true, they are losers, this is amazingly dishonest. He and his website could not have done more to court white supremacists if they’d offered a dowry and giggled coyly at all their jokes. In fact, I think they kinda did that actual thing. The giggling bit, anyway.

    So what is going on here? Is he on the way out and setting fire as he leaves the barn? Is he trying deliberately to push getting fired?

    There’s more at American Prospect. I don’t know what he’s up to, but if we’ve learned anything in the last year, we know he’s up to something. And it’s probably nothing good.

    Should be an interesting day.

    http://www.redstate.com/absentee/2017/08/17/surprise-interview-bannon-bursts-open-amazing-things-crawl/

    • WotsAllThisThen

      Redstate criticizing someone for winking at white nationalists? Trump really did shake things up, didn’t he.

    • Sean McLaren

      It seems like the obvious answer is that Bannon’s goal is power and influence, so he was only interested in the extreme right while they were politically useful. Now that they’re not, he’s retreating into “alt-light” economic nationalism, using the energy generated by the far right as a stepping stone to push the agenda he thinks can get broader traction: a trade war with China.

      • WotsAllThisThen

        A trade war with China… that should go well for all the Wal Mart shopping Trump voters.

        • Permit-holder Ron

          ‘That’ll fix them Chinks! But why’re my wife-beater shirts up to $124.99?’

  • Steve Bannon says Ivanka bones Black guys while Kushner watches?

    “What’s wrong with that?” — Trump Supporters
    https://media0.giphy.com/media/11KHdttFOVlzxe/giphy.gif

    • puredog

      Mr. Cantwell, for one, would clutch his pearls and cry.

  • Bill D. Burger
  • Mr. Blobfish

    Between this, unemployment, the Mets implosion and the coming disaster of a Jets season, I’m having a crappy summer.

    • Permit-holder Ron

      Well, there’s the possibility that civilisation as we know it could end before October. Does that help at all?

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    “Ethno-nationalism—it’s losers. It’s a fringe element. I think the media plays it up too much, and we gotta help crush it, you know, uh, help crush it more.”

    I’d be encouraged if I didn’t think that by “crush it” he means “milk it for all we can get” FFS.

    • WotsAllThisThen

      Fresh squeezed racism. It’s not just for breakfast anymore!

    • Ezio

      He contradicts himself. If he wants to crush it, then people, and especially the media, need to expose it.

    • marxalot

      “Cursh it” in this case meaning “go hard” or “do well.” These kids and their slang. They’re crushing it!

  • beatbort

    I am sure the same comments were made in the late 1930s by isolationists and America Firsters about doings in Germany…”yeah, Hitler, he’s a clown…prancing around with his little fake uniform…no need to take him seriously…go back to sleep, America…”

    • Villago Delenda Est

      The German aristocracy and industrialists (Venn diagram overlap large there) can control him!

  • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

    this new to me about Bannon’s interview (which we now know was a distraction):

    “Bannon had told American Prospect that Democrats’ fixation on race politics instead of jobs and the economy would be their doom in 2020.

    ‘The longer they talk about identity politics, I got ’em. I want them to talk about racism every day,’ he boasted.

    ‘If the left is focused on race and identity, and we go with economic nationalism, we can crush the Democrats.’

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Economic nationalism = White Supremacy.

      • WotsAllThisThen

        “The economy is for white people. But all they want to talk about about is racism.”

      • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

        well, they did try to rebrand it as “economic anxiety” so, yeah, prolly right.

      • “Whole wheat bread is hereby banned”

      • miss_grundy

        And create “economic anxiety”.

        • Blackest Noobs

          it’s a ying and yang for johnny reb cracker and vanilla cracker ( them white folks who aint so racisty but ARE, but mostly tax cuts)

    • Werewolf

      Identify politics =support for human rights.

    • MrTusks

      The economy that is doing fine and that Drumpf has done nothing about so far? Okay.

  • Oblios_Cap

    Bannon says he’s a teetotaler,

    I’m calling bullshit.

    • beatbort

      Well, that may rule out alcohol, but I bet he drinks battery acid and Aryan blood cocktails.

      • proudgrampa

        And Sterno…

        • TJ Barke

          Nail polish remover, hand sanitizer, the blood of orphans ..

    • jodyleek

      He said he doesn’t drink alcohol. He didn’t say he doesn’t huff carborater cleaner, however.

    • Wuulf

      I believe that he uses the same stuff that Alex Jones uses.

  • James Baskin

    This guy is younger than me and looks like he’s old enough to be my dad..

  • Joe Beese
    • Bill D. Burger

      Just saw that. It evidently ran into people on the sidewalk before crashing.

      • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

        there was apparently an incident in paris on Monday or Tuesday where a woman crashed her car into a restaurant, but she told police she was trying to kill herself.

        • Bill D. Burger
        • Joe Beese

          Yes, it’s the combination of driving into pedestrians and then entering the place with weapons that suggests terrorism.

          • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

            my bad – i didn’t catch those details.

        • miss_grundy

          WTF? She couldn’t crash her car into the Seine by going off a bridge or jumping off a bridge? She killed a little girl who was having a slice in a pizza parlor and injured other people.

    • WotsAllThisThen

      Naturally, Trump will wait a few days before declaring that both sides are to blame.

      • jesterpunk

        Maybe the armed men had permits and where just gun enthusiasts and NRA members?

        • WotsAllThisThen

          He just wants to make sure the statues are safe.

      • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

        nah – a shiny nickel says he calls it terrorism before the day is done.

        • Suttree

          Someone should check his twitler feed right now. He probably already has.

          • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

            i’m checking and nothing so far.

    • MynameisBlarney

      The fuck is goin on anymore?

  • MynameisBlarney
    • Ezio

      “VanArsdale said he does not consider himself a racist, a Nazi or white nationalist, but identifies as a conservative libertarian.”

      Only difference there is one is nicer about wanting to keep their unearned privilege than the other.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        “Conservative libertarian” = Nazi. All for the freedom of a few, and the enslavement of others.

        • Ezio

          “Can we talk about the new deal? Now that was the REAL slavery”! -Libertarians

      • MynameisBlarney

        Geeezus, what’s the fuckin’ difference?

      • marxalot

        Anyone who elevates the right to and sancity of property over human life is indistinguishable from those who made war to preserve slavery (in their own words!) or those who exterminated human beings in order to seize their property (also in their own words!).

    • Suttree

      “The public is crucifying me!”
      -Nazi upon the public finding out that he is a Nazi

  • MOG253

    Skin tags, grundle, I’m at lunch, FFS!!!

  • anon_the_great

    “We don’t understand how teetotalers get skin that bad…”

    Meth. Steve broke bad decades ago and it may be the only thing that animates his corpse.

  • specialcircumstances

    As soon as the polo comes off they’re no longer Nazi’s. It’s very simple people. So, perhaps Bannon was shirtless for that call? I really hope not! ugh.
    https://www.gq.com/story/charlottesville-white-supremacist-strips-to-escape-protestors

  • puredog

    Actually, Bannon’s remarks on North Korea were remarkably sane.

    • Joe Beese

      Yes, he has no future in that organization.

    • Robbertjan Brandenburg

      I am sure he is pretty clever cat and destroying the institutions with a nuclear holocaust is shooting a mouse with a bazooka even in his book.

    • WotsAllThisThen

      Remarkably obvious. Trump’s cheerleaders either don’t have a clue about reality or don’t care how many Asians get killed as long as they’re safe in the middle of the country.

    • miss_grundy

      Did he clear that comment with Orangina????

      • marxalot

        Orangina libel

    • Pinkham’s Law

      If you diagram that second sentence and factor in the double negatives, it actually says he won’t be happy until someone proves that 10 million in Seoul WOULD die in the first 30 minutes – which they wouldn’t. He’s literally saying not enough people would die. Admittedly, that’s probably not what he meant. Probably.

  • Robbertjan Brandenburg
    • Blackest Noobs

      well he did say he’ll bring peace to the Middle East, he just failed to mention at the expense of our country.

      • jesterpunk

        So Jared really did figure out a way to bring peace to the middle east?

        • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

          well, the Palestinians still haven’t weighed in, but yeah – a good start.

        • Blackest Noobs

          Jewish Alfalfa probably said listen youse guys think you’re bad, wait til my father-in-law goes the full Nazi…then y’all be singing a different tune.

          • weejee

            The irony.

    • (((Alt-Sedagive)))

      When you’ve lost Iran…

      • Stulexington

        And made them agree with Israel …

        • Beanz&Berryz

          Middle East peace in our time…

          • Stulexington

            Well it’ll probably be more of a brief pause but it’s a start.

          • Beanz&Berryz

            Trump is bringing out the adult political impulses of leaders around the world… China.. Iran.. SOMEONE needs to be the grown-up here…

          • Stulexington

            It’s the coalition of “fuck that guy.”

        • OrdinaryJoe

          Just read that chyron out loud and then tell me if it makes you also feel like your head is about to explode. It’s like saying “Lions and Tigers condemn Leopards that eat your face.”

    • Red Bird

      I thought Bibi was staying quiet.

      • Antonin Dvorak

        He is, but it is because he is under investigation for financial tomfoolery.

        • Werewolf

          Where financial tomfoolery=bribery and influence peddling:

  • jodyleek

    Known racist says racists are losers.
    About the most honest thing about himself he’s ever said.

  • Carpe Vagenda

    He could have oedema from hepatic damage caused by tylenol and nutrasweet.

    jk he drinks.

  • marxalot

    Maybe the skin damage is from radiation poisoning or something. Huffing solvents.

    • weejee

      Gotta watch out for that polonium punch 45 sometimes serves.

    • miss_grundy

      Or pouring acid into a sauna.

  • miss_grundy

    In that picture, he looks like he just woke up from a “Lost Weekend”.

    • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

      As someone mentioned before, he looks like his parents were a dirty ashtray and dandruff.

      • marxalot

        The human body is normally something like 70% water.
        His is antifreeze.

        • Permit-holder Ron

          The old alcohol-based stuff, not the newer pre-inhibited propylene glycol stuff.

  • Crystalclear12

    The best people.

  • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos
    • Red Bird

      Hmmm…..

    • Beanz&Berryz

      Damn… I was there last year….

  • cheetojeebus
  • Pinkham’s Law

    “every time a Confederate monument comes down, a Nazi angel gets punched in the dick.”

    Ok, so, this is an alternative fact I wish was true!

    • Permit-holder Ron

      It COULD be true. Though I doubt there are actual Nazi angels, unless God is REALLY pulling our chains.

  • AnnieGetYerFun

    Dead Breitbart’s Home For White Guys Who Don’t Usually Get Erections

    Thank you, Evan.

  • Subliberal

    As I’ve always said, and you can check me if I’m wrong. My real dad (certified by multiple Beverly Hills divorce lawyer investigators) always said, “don’t send your kids to schools with that crypto-Jew, Steven Bannon”.

  • armed_bears
    • Shibusa

      Aaaaaaannd there goes lunch.

      • Permit-holder Ron

        The Wonkette diet plan is cruel but effective.

    • Juan de Fuca

      As someone who was born in 1970 but considers myself a child of the 80’s – when did that whole layering thing with clothes include wearing a button down shirt over a polo?

      • armed_bears

        After blood/alcohol level > 0.10.

      • OrdinaryJoe

        When you wake up in the morning hung over, late for work and wearing the clothes you were wearing the night before so you throw on a shirt over the polo to hide the vomit stain so you can rush to work.

      • Red Bird

        I remember that happening when the whole preppy style was popular. But people would wear the collar of the polo shirt up.

  • spangled

    OT – will juggalos be our saviors from naziism? Why is America so goddamn weird?

    http://www.metalsucks.net/2017/08/14/pro-trump-rally-set-to-clash-with-juggalo-march-in-washington-d-c-in-september/

    “The Mother of All Rallies is coming to Washington, D.C. on September 16th. The Pro-Trump group bills itself as “The Woodstock of American Rallies” on its official website, with the aim of sending “a message to congress the media and the world” that “we stand united to defend American culture & values.”…

    There’s only one problem: there will already be another kind of gathering in town.

    Also scheduled to storm the National Mall that day is the Juggalo March, a collective of I.C.P. fans seeking equal treatment…”

    • As the Head of the Department of the Juggalos I wholly endorse this plug for our march.

    • (((Alt-Sedagive)))

      I so freaking love this (in an increasingly-entropic kind of a way).

      • george lastrapes

        In the distance I see the Four Clown Cars of the Apocalypse.

    • Stulexington

      I still believe the best way to protest their gatherings is to throw a huge party/concert just down the road.

    • Me not sure

      Well, that should stir up a whole cauldron of weird.
      https://youtu.be/wKlpMxBX-jk

    • BigCSouthside

      A juggalo v racist brawl has to be good for the species, right?

    • Red Bird

      Aren’t Juggalos kind of Nazi adjacent?

    • lroom

      WTF is a Juggalo?

      • spangled

        with all due respect to juggalos, it would probably be better to preserve your innocence on this matter.

  • Robbertjan Brandenburg

    Terrorist attack in Barcelona. :(

    edit: Wanted to remove video but someone was ahead of me.

    • The Librarian
    • BosGrl

      Well it happened in Spain so it will both fit into Drumpf’s terrorism narrative and be different than Charlottesville at the same time.

      • Robbertjan Brandenburg

        I am watching clips on twitter that I won’t share but there are dozens of victims and more and more being covers with white cloths so there will be more than 1 casualty.

        • Red Bird

          I saw there was a gun man. Do they have any information of who it is?

        • BosGrl

          Why? Just why?

    • Sophia

      How long do you think it will take for trump to gather all the facts and tweet about Muslims? 2 or 3 days? Nah, Ill be surprised if he hasn’t already.

  • Crystalclear12
    • Joe Beese

      But why, then, Channel 3 asked, were there so many pictures and memes supporting white nationalism and Nazism on VanArsdale’s feed? It wasn’t just one or two photos.

      “Again, I’m not a Nazi,” VanArsdale said. “Bad humor.”

      “You see how that’s confusing when there’s a photo of the Star of David with blood on it with a swastika?” asked Channel 3.

      “Sure,” the bar owner said.

      “So then why post them?” he was asked.

      “Bad judgment, attempt at humor that didn’t turn out so well,” he said.

      • TJ Barke

        Sure sure.

      • HazooToo

        “Because I’m a dipshit who thinks it’s funny to be offensive.”

      • WeaselPoo

        Hitlarious! Get it ?

      • Thiazin Red

        I would have asked him to explain the joke, like why exactly did he think it should be funny.

      • The Wanderer

        Ah, yes. Ho ho. (gets out his Virtual 2×4)

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      fucking drama queens- nobody is crucifying you, dumbass. They’re just sick of your shit.

    • The Wanderer

      It’s hard to crucify yourself. That third nail’s hard to get in.

      • Crystalclear12

        But worth the effort!

  • The Librarian

    Maybe Bannon is just referring to the C’ville whackjobs because he thinks they’re cosplaying. You know, as opposed to the “real” ones. 🙄

  • Me not sure

    I know two don’t really see eye to eye, Steve, but call and have a discussion with the Mooch about the meaning of “on the cock sucking record”.

    • Beanz&Berryz

      Which The Economist, or maybe someone else, referred to as something kinda like (paraphrasing) “an anatomically unlikely form of self-gratification.”

  • Joe Beese

    Said someone very familiar with his thinking. Someone speaking with his mouth.

    The uproar — which has consumed not only the White House but the Republican Party — left Kelly deeply frustrated and dismayed just over two weeks into his job, said people familiar with his thinking.

    https://www.washingtonpost.com/politics/trumps-lack-of-discipline-leaves-new-chief-of-staff-frustrated-and-dismayed/2017/08/16/9aec8e16-82b8-11e7-82a4-920da1aeb507_story.html

  • bbayliss

    Apparently we have to stem the tide for “30 to 35 days”
    “In about the next 30 to 35 days, I will be the most colourful character you have ever talked about,” Sater told New York Magazine. “Unfortunately, I can’t talk about it now, before it happens. And believe me, it ain’t anything as small as whether or not they’re gonna call me to the Senate committee.”
    http://www.rawstory.com/2017/08/longtime-trump-business-partner-told-family-he-knows-he-and-potus-are-going-to-prison-report/

    • Joe Beese

      Another self-glorifying loser.

      • bbayliss

        that may be true, but he’s a loser who was an FBI informant at the same time he was working with trump…we’ll see.

  • Beanz&Berryz

    “Dialing” a phone and “hanging up” the phone are two historical/technical references that whose actual roots are fading away, even as the words remain… But even “butt dialing,” in the age of touch screen phones, is technically fading away after a bright and brief window of technical relevance.

    • Joe Beese

      Has anyone done one of those “kids guess how old tech works” videos where it needs to be explained to them that we used to choose who to call by putting our finger into a hole drilled into a piece of plastic and twirling?

      • Joe Beese

        I actually downloaded a rotary-dial app for my iPhone but I only used it twice. Nostalgia has its limits.

      • Beanz&Berryz

        I made a point to show the little Miss Bz&Bzs how such things worked… that came well before the tire-changing lesson…

        • BosGrl

          I’ve mentioned before that I purposely kept a dial phone on the kitchen wall when my girls were little, and they knew how to use it.

      • Shibusa

        My Dad still has one of those. Works, too!

      • Machnethylsteinerbincolabird

        About ten years ago I tested an antique phone that had no dial, just a hook for the handset. You entered a digit by flipping the hook that many times. It still worked. But I could only talk to dead people on it.

    • Rags

      And clocks with those swingy arrow thingies.

    • Mavenmaven

      one ringy dingy two ringy dingy

    • timpundit

      Also, cannot angrily slam the phone down when pissed off and hanging up on someone. Well, you can but it’s lost all it’s ‘ummph’ and therefore, it’s gratification.

    • timpundit

      What I miss most, tho is holding the phone in between my shoulder and ear.

    • Red Bird

      I say “call” and “end call” instead of “dial” and “hang up”.

  • IdiotsforPalin
  • Blanche Beecham
  • Catstro

    OT: if anyone is following what is currently happening in Durham and would like to make a donatation, this is a good place to do it:
    http://durhamsolidaritycenter.org/bondfund/

  • lucidamente

    The interview / train wreck also has this gem:

    “The Democrats,” he said, “the longer they talk about identity politics, I got ’em. I want them to talk about racism every day. If the left is focused on race and identity, and we go with economic nationalism, we can crush the Democrats.”

    Lee Atwater never died. He’s a skin-walker who goes by the name “Steve Bannon.”

    • BadKitty904

      I think the label “murderous Nazis” might cause your product a bit of a branding issue, Steve…

  • More smokescreen. Something really nefarious is up.

    • 🛶🗣️ Mr Canoehead 🛶🗣️

      Nothing is a smokescreen. Everything’s as nefarious as everything else.

  • ken_kukec

    Is it true Bannon squeezes a pint of Old Bushmills out of his nose every morning?

    Dubya had his turd-blossom;Trump, his gin-blossom.

    • CindyinEncinitas

      And a new use for the neti pot. So innovative!

  • JoeChristmas

    These snowflake Nazi’s all of a sudden want keep their participation trophies.

  • OTB

    “stinky racist buckets of dick cheese”

    Pulitzer, motherfucker!

    • paxpax

      big hairy gin-soaked crusty jizz face man – FTW

    • CindyinEncinitas

      “…every time a Confederate monument comes down, a Nazi angel gets punched in the dick.” Don’t get any better than that, Mr. Pulitzer.

  • Joshua Norton

    stuck up for the Nazis in Charlottesville

    Worst winery promotion ever!

    • Beanz&Berryz

      Trump Winery’s White Whine

      • Toomush_Inferesistance

        I think they resell to Mogen-David…

      • therblig

        the Z-Infidel is also popular among the deplorables

        • LesBontemps

          “A finish like a Reichstag fire.” — Wine Dictator (88 pts).

    • Bill D. Burger

      But the cover song for the next alt-right album.

    • Me not sure
      • BadKitty904

        NOW with more cocaine and psychosis!!1!

    • BadKitty904

      Produced from the purest German stocks…

    • Juan de Fuca

      If Trump had as much leeway to run the government as he had in some of his businesses we’d already be in the Grape Depression.

  • BadKitty904

    I wouldn’t believe Steve Bannon if he said “Good morning”. If his lips are moving, he’s lying.

    • Bill D. Burger
    • geoffalnutt

      Gawd, and the smell! Peal the paint right off a Buick.

      • BadKitty904

        In DC, in August!!1! Since he’s obviously begun to decay, you’d think they’d have the courtesy to bury him.

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      You would have to be able to observe Bannon when he says “Good morning”.

      That being the case, after having the unfortunate opportunity to observe Bannon, you will not, in fact, have a good morning. Bleeeeuuuurrrgghhh!

      Furthermore, he was lying anyway.

  • Machnethylsteinerbincolabird

    “Kuttner says the call was unsolicited, and you’ll pardon us for assuming most human interactions with Steve Bannon are unsolicited.”

    HAAAAAAAWWWWWW HAW HAW HAAAAAA ROFLMAO!!!!!!

  • Bill D. Burger
    • BadKitty904

      Your ball, North Korea.

  • Marion in Savannah

    Okay, Evan. Now you’ve done it. You’ve crossed a line that should NEVER have been crossed. You placed the image of Bannon “picking skin tags off his grundle” out there for anyone to see. What about the children? This is, after all, a mommy blog. And that’s not even taking into consideration that there are folks out there will delicate digestive systems. Shame. Shame. Shame on you.

  • timpundit


    The Spectator article on manafort and this other dude, Felix Sater is a very interesting and hopeful read. https://www.spectator.co.uk/2017/08/forget-charlottesville-russia-is-still-the-true-trump-scandal/

    Especially this part:

    “For several weeks
    there have been rumours that Sater is ready to rat again, agreeing to help
    Mueller. ‘He has told family and friends he knows he and POTUS are going to
    prison,’ someone talking to Mueller’s investigators informed me. Sater himself
    added fuel to this fire when he told New York magazine last
    week: ‘In about the next 30 to 35 days, I will be the most colourful character
    you have ever talked about. Unfortunately, I can’t talk about it now, before it
    happens. And believe me, it ain’t anything as small as whether or not they’re
    gonna call me to the Senate committee.’ Sater and Manafort together
    would pose a deadly threat to Trump’s presidency if they testify that Russian
    money in his businesses led to information being exchanged with Russian
    intelligence.”

    Know hope.

  • Gigglesnort

    How do you win that trade war with China? Going to be kind of hard I think, given that so much of our economy relies on giant container ships delivering stuff from there. I don’t think Bannon has any qualifications to be a trade expert.

    • BadKitty904

      I don’t think Bannon has any qualifications.

      • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

        Ballast?

    • BigCSouthside

      And, um, they own a lot of our debt.

  • BadKitty904

    To paraphrase a comment made about Alexander Pope:

    Steve Bannon couldn’t drink tea without a strategem.

    • Red Bird

      Much less have a bowel movement.

  • Marceline

    If you read Bannon’s interview in the voice of Otis the drunk from “The Andy Griffith Show” and it makes perfect sense.

  • The Wanderer

    OT, but Maine Governor and Rancid Potato Paul LePage has decided to weigh in on the Traitor Statue Hubbub, comparing a statue of Robert E. Lee to the 9/11 Memorial.
    To be fair, Bobby Lee is just like Paul LePage: They’re both losers.

    • greyXstar

      Well I’m completely shocked that he would say something like tha – oh wait no. What’s the opposite of shocked? That one.

      • MynameisBlarney

        Grounded?

        • greyXstar

          You can’t ground me! You’re not my real dad!! I’m running away

          • MynameisBlarney

            HA!

      • proudgrampa

        “Not Surprised?”

        Antonyms for shock

        calm calmness composure help order peace tranquility failure happiness expectation

        Roget’s 21st Century Thesaurus, Third Edition Copyright © 2013 by the Philip Lief Group.

        • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

          New Word: noitpinnoc
          Pronounced “Noyt-pin-knock”

          This is the most violent and extreme form of “Not Surprised”. It can in fact, lead to paralysis and death.

          It is “conniption” backwards.

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      I think we need to invent a new meme: “Planned Facepalm” This is a facepalm that you have waiting on deck ready to apply at a moment’s notice because you just know what you are about to read is so damned predictable and fucked up.

      It’s on my todo list.

    • Werewolf

      The ghosts of the 20th Maine need to haunt this motherfucker until the end of time.

  • MynameisBlarney
    • Antonin Dvorak

      She sews bespoken klan costumes to pay for medical care for her quadriplegic daughter. I have no words.

      • MynameisBlarney

        Oh I got PLENTY of words.
        Most of which I’ll refrain from posting.

        • LesBontemps

          I’ll bet they all end “with votes,” though.

      • Toomush_Inferesistance

        JOBS!…

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      Coming from five generations of Ku Klux Klan members, 58-year-old “Ms. Ruth” sews hoods and robes for Klan members seven days a week, blessing each one when it’s done

      WTF? WTF does she bless them with? Holy piss?

      Fucking wastes of oxygen and volume.

      I ca…ven…

      • Toomush_Inferesistance

        With her vinegar breath…

        • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

          She must drink wine wrong. You are supposed to digest the wine, not let it linger inside you for so long that it breaks down like that.

    • therblig

      why does the exalted cyclops hood have 2 eye holes?

      • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

        Sometimes you just need a spare.

      • MynameisBlarney

        Because, they have the dumb.

  • Bill D. Burger
  • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

    Fuck Bannon in the {{{Redacted}}} with a {{{Elided}}} {{{Censored}}}!!!

    Furthermore, ●●●●●●●●●●●●● Bannon, and ⃝⃝⃝⃝⃝⃝⃝⃝⃝⃝!

  • MynameisBlarney
  • Mr. Blobfish

    Sux to be trump. By the way, has a director of FEMA been nominated yet? Lots of named storms so far this year.

    • CindyinEncinitas

      It has occurred to me that career government emergency personnel are not going to let another Katrina happen. I wonder if they have plans in place that they created through back channels.

      • Candy Matson Y-28209

        That’s comforting

        • CindyinEncinitas

          I come from a family of firefighters and they don’t play politics when it comes to protecting people’s lives and property. Ever.

  • SomeBigRedDog

    OMG Evan. As if he can even reach his grundle.

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      When one can’t reach their grundle, it makes him disgrundled.

      {{{Engaging moan filter.}}}

      • proudgrampa

        *groan*

    • jesterpunk

      The Mooch said he can suck his own dick…

  • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

    Bannon is way overdue for his annual head pedicure.

    • Rick Hill

      He should be shedding his outer epidermis anytime now….

      • Beanz&Berryz

        Pity the poor intern who finds the skin on the White House lawn…

      • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

        Yeah. Bannon might periodically molt. Like Kellyanne does. And they look worse afterwards.

        Bannon looks like what he is: A colon-cancer infected sausage filled with rotting smegma soufflé.

  • geoffalnutt

    “…drunk-dials you with his butt…” I used to do that, but with a rotary phone. It’s no joke. You don’t want to know how many times I mis-dialed!

    • Beanz&Berryz

      Butt dialing a rotary phone was a rare skill…

  • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

    “Trump Is Just Six Senate Votes Away From Impeachment”

    https://www.yahoo.com/news/trump-just-six-senate-votes-130457745.html

    • BadKitty904

      Roooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooll them DICE!!1!

    • jesterpunk

      What about the House?

      • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

        there’s a thing, I forget…house does one part, Senate does the other.

        Not like a bill.

        • MynameisBlarney

          One uses pitchforks and the other torches?

          • LesBontemps

            Pretty sure Tiki torches are now the standard.

          • CindyinEncinitas

            Because the mosquitoes are pretty thick this year, I guess.

          • LesBontemps

            Also too the Nazis.

          • NellCote71

            And Nazis are even more annoying than mosquitoes.

        • jesterpunk

          The House has to bring him up on charges first then the Senate tries him.

          • proudgrampa

            That’s not gonna happen.

    • Atheist

      Come on, people get the show on the road already!

    • Rick Hill

      IN the normal world, heck, even four years ago, trump would have been thoroughly disgraced BEFORE the nazi comments. As it is, there are people defending him. He still has to be so detestable that only the 24% of republicans, who are only about 5% of the entire country are his only supporters. If he is taken out too early, then this crap conservatism will never go away. Too late and all of humanity is scrambling through the nuculer ruble trying to survive.

      • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

        to your point, the day he announced, the comments about mexicans being rapists and shit, he should have been done.

        Let us never forget Howard Dean’s candidacy was crushed cause he got a little rowdy.

        • BosGrl

          I still don’t understand why that was so bad.

          • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

            it was played, over and over and over and over again and….yeah, me neither.

          • Rick Hill

            It was also isolated from the rest of the crowd noise to make him seem unhinged

          • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

            yeah, I seem to recall that.

            (i used to get mad at the college TV sports announcers cause they kept shouting – dude those headphones and that mic and me mean you don’t need to fucking shout).

          • Mysterious Masked Wrestler

            I’m too young to remember exactly who decided it was. Did rival politicians talk shit, or was it just the media pretending like a cowboy yell was a scandal when a Dem did it?

          • BosGrl

            I don’t know. I’m not too young, but I’m too old to remember why it was bad to get excited.

    • Joe Beese

      A calculation that includes “twelve senators who have shown a willingness to take on the president when they believe he is in the wrong.”

      Please.

    • Iron Monkey

      Six votes away from conviction by the Senate after impeachment by the House which is a lot more than six votes away from anything but gutting healthcare.

  • MynameisBlarney
    • BadKitty904

      I hate when that happens.

      • MynameisBlarney

        What I am sure I don’t want to know is…

        Nevermind. the mental image of Bannon pickin at the skin-tags on his grundle are bad enough.

    • therblig

      “What did I fucking tell you?” – Tippi Hedren

    • Robbertjan Brandenburg

      That seagull sure has balls.

  • Robbertjan Brandenburg
    • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

      oh holy fucking shit.

      • BigCSouthside

        Right now they have trump cuffed to a bannister to keep him from tweeting terrible shit about Muslims

        • jesterpunk

          I am sure he wont tweet about Muslims, he did say he waits for all the facts to come out after Charlottesville. He might be checking if the driver had a permit first.

    • laughingnome

      Saddened. I stayed on Tallers a few years ago during a visit. Beautiful city and wonderful people.

    • Red Bird

      Well I guess we can all stop talking about Charlottesville now. I guarantee that by the end of the day. The difference being that everyone will condemn this act of terrorism.

      • Robbertjan Brandenburg

        Trump is in a pickle right now. Tweeting quickly about it will reinforce the notion that Islamic terror is real (assuming it is islamic terror) and he doesn;t give a shit about WS terror and not responding quickly will enrage his WS block.

        Oh, Melania already shared her “Thoughts and prayers” on Twitter.

        • Red Bird

          Well the news sites are already saying the attack is ISIS approved. So it’s the perfect opportunity to change the topic.

          But your right, he can’t be too quick to condemn because the contrast will be too obvious.

          To be sure there will be no discussions about who is to blame. No both sides do it. No jokes about not walking in the road and getting hit.

  • Anyone else reading Bannon’s quotes in the voice of Blackout-Drunk-Rick from Rick & Morty? It can’t be just me.

    • Anna Rompage

      That, or Dennis Hopper, high on nitrous in Blue Velvet…

      • Toomush_Inferesistance

        Yeah, that’s far scarier…

  • Mr. Blobfish

    Oops. Be careful who you “sieg heil”.

  • Joe Beese
    • BadKitty904

      Catalan police have tweeted: “We can’t confirm a motive for the events
      that have taken place in Barcelona, but we have activated the protocol
      used to respond to attacks.”

  • Sophia

    OT but please can we get at least a minute break? It’s like a conspiracy. All the crazies come out at the same time.

    Michele Bachmann Is Heading A Right-Wing Mission To The UN In Preparation For The End Times

    http://www.rightwingwatch.org/post/michele-bachmann-is-heading-a-right-wing-mission-to-the-un-in-preparation-for-the-end-times/

    • proudgrampa

      Have I mentioned that we are Freakin’ Doomed?

      • jesterpunk

        You are missing the important part, the purity ponies didnt have to sully their conscience by voting for Hillary.

        • Raan

          Yes, that will be comforting when I have to toss a Nuka-grenade at a pack of slavers/when the sea reclaims Florida, whichever comes first.

          • jesterpunk

            But they get to be smug assholes about it. That is more important to them.

          • TJ Barke

            Why can’t I have quantum grenades in 4?! Sierra Petrovita was even there at nuka world, and I still can’t have nuka quantum grenades?

    • Antonin Dvorak

      As if the UN will give them the time of day.

    • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

      soaring oratory:
      ““I believe that God is starting a new thing,” she said, “and because the time is short before Christ comes again to this earth, He is giving everyone one more chance.””

      • OutOfOrbit

        “–one more chance.” To do what?

      • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

        maybe it’s the sleepiness, but I’m not sure I can take anymore:

        ““It was called the Tower of Babel and God dispersed the people at the Tower of Babel. Never again did all the nations of the earth come together until the League of Nations under President Woodrow Wilson. That broke up, it didn’t work and then we had World War II and the UN was started and it’s been an organization that has had a lot of negative repercussions because it is not under a holy authority of a mighty God and there’s been vain imaginations of raising a fist again against an almighty God.””

        • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

          The UN has arguably done more good than…well Michelle Bachman at the least. It has its problems, but I’m a big believer.

          To say this is just…grrrrr

        • BadKitty904

          Take a break. If the smell of bullshit is getting to you, step outside the barn.

      • TundraGrifter

        If it’s all going to end anyway, will she give me her house?

        • Beanz&Berryz

          And all her Ameros, if she actually has Faith

          • TundraGrifter

            It would be proof she’s serious about it, eh?

      • BadKitty904

        “I have bills to pay,” she said, “and need to grift some new income…”

      • The Librarian

        Humph! Bachmann’s pipeline to Jesus is a wrong number.

        • Pisto75666

          He changed it on purpose.

          • The Librarian

            Smart.

          • Pisto75666

            After putting up with Pat Robertson and that ilk, he learned his lesson.

        • tomamitai

          A crack pipeline.

      • therblig
    • Baconzgood

      All the flakes have been embiggened with cromulance. Wonder what Sarah Palin will say.

      • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

        Wonder what Sarah Palin will say.

        Poor me another?

        • House0fTheBlueLights

          If that’s not a typo, you win the internet today. If it is a typo, then this is peak Freudian slip.

          • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

            (squints)

            yup, a damn typo.

          • House0fTheBlueLights

            DO NOT CORRECT IT! It’s brilliant.

      • Darlene Underdahl

        Same as always: “Look at me, look at me dammit!”

    • MynameisBlarney

      Oh for fucks sake!

    • Anna Rompage

      Sounds like the little Missy found gay porn on her husband’s computer again…

    • Bill D. Burger

      Okey Dokey then! ___ Viva Las Vegas…..Hell Yeah!

      http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lligilFon01qizvnso1_500.gif

      • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

        I hope that guy wasn’t winning.

    • weejee

      If that is the case and it really is end of times, can we dig-up Breitbart, cut-off his head with votes, and put it on a ballot box? Sorta like the Brits did with Cromwell?

    • Mehmeisterjr

      Sure, Michele. End Times. Mmm’hmm.

  • Bill Patterson
    • proudgrampa

      Fersure.

  • Good_Gawd_Yall

    Every time I hear one of the Stepford Republicans refer to Mitch McTraitor as “Leader,” I’m torn between amazement – he is about as far from the definition of a leader as I can imagine – and disgust, with my mind automatically inserting “Dear” before “Leader.”

  • janecita
    • The Librarian

      Lol, honestly really is the best policy and great for a laff.

    • Raan

      The only thing that would be better is if one of the prospective jurors laughed himself out of service.

    • alpacapunchbowl

      Wu-Tang Clan ain’t nothin’ ta fuck with!

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      Oh, that’s great. Shared.

    • Wookie Monster

      That’s just a preview for when Trump’s treason trial begins.

    • tomamitai

      Juror No 52: “When I walked in here today, I looked
      at him, and in my head, that’s a snake – not knowing who he was. I just
      walked in and looked right at him and that’s a snake.”

      Brafman: “So much for the presumption of innocence.”

      He could have meant he looked like an innocent snake!

      • janecita

        Right? Like a cute garden snake.

  • weejee

    Not all the drunk racists are in DeeCee. Paul LePage says removing confederate statutes is like tearing down 9/11 monuments.

    OFFS!!!

    • BadKitty904

      You lost me at “Paul LePage says“…

    • MynameisBlarney

      Well, one thing I can say these frightwingers are really good at, it’s making ridiculously hyperbolic and shitty analogies.

      Me “I stubbed my toe last week, it hurt.”
      Them: “OMG JUST LIKE CUSTERS LAST STAND!”

      • weejee

        And the Custer thing was a lotta Bull.

        / wait, what???

      • tomamitai

        MMMMMMMMMMMMM, Custard!!! Can I have mine frozen, please?

    • Atheist

      I don’t normally call people stupid. But these people are incredibly stupid for all the false equivalencies they are dreaming up.

      • tomamitai

        Paging doctors Dunning and Kruger…

    • tomamitai

      It would be if they were monuments to the terrorists and not the victims!

    • Werewolf

      The ghosts of the 20th Maine would like a word….

  • Mavenmaven

    I’m starting to believe that holding these nazi beliefs makes one ugly on the outside as well.

  • Robbertjan Brandenburg

    Dutch newspaper tweets that we should not post images of victims of Barcelona attack with a picture of victims of the Barcelona attack. I called them out on this hypocritical irony.

    Now my living room sounds ike a disco for all the likes and retweets. Crap.

    • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

      good on ya.

  • MynameisBlarney

    Well…originally I figured this would be good for a chuckle…

    Turns out it’s GREAT for nervous laughter.

    http://cheezburger.com/3084293/30-awkward-men-who-took-hilarious-portraits-with-their-cats

  • Bill D. Burger

    The one White Supremacy piece of work that has to go ASAP.

    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DHb0m0mUAAAF9UK.jpg

  • alpacapunchbowl

    Wait, he doesn’t really claim to be a teetotaller, does he?? That was our Evan making jokes, right?
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/00704da0df9beeb2d4ea67b6a5976769833933635c628c081ce75871492865bd.gif

  • Bill D. Burger

    https://twitter.com/RealDonalDrumpf/status/897948286501306368

    Pence: I “stand by” Trump’s comments on Charlottesville http://hill.cm/rAteo9T

    • Mehmeisterjr

      Of course you do. You are both fully employed by Vladimir Putin.

  • Bill D. Burger

    “What? Me worry? ___ Have a cup of covfefe.”

    https://twitter.com/USseriously/status/884620345394769920

  • Bill D. Burger

    [The construction of Trump Tower may have been Donald Trump’s greatest achievement, but it was a disaster for the city’s artistic legacy.

    Trump didn’t always have a great love of historical monuments:

    The Trump Files: When Donald Destroyed Historic Art to Build Trump Tower
    “They fell to the floor and shattered in a million pieces.”
    MAX J. ROSENTHALJUL. 13, 2016

    To build his skyscraper, Trump first had to knock down the Bonwit Teller building, a luxurious limestone building erected in 1929. The face of the building featured two huge Art Deco friezes that the Metropolitan Museum of Art wanted to preserve. The museum asked Trump to save the sculptures and donate them, and the mogul agreed—as long as the cost of doing so wasn’t too high.

    But then, according to journalist Harry Hurt III in his book Lost Tycoon, Trump discovered that taking out the sculptures would delay demolition by two weeks. He wasn’t willing to wait. “On his orders, the demolition workers cut up the grillwork with acetylene torches,” Hurt wrote. “Then they jackhammered the friezes, dislodged them with crowbars, and pushed the remains inside the building, where they fell to the floor and shattered in a million pieces.”

    The art world was shocked and appalled. ]

    http://www.motherjones.com/politics/2016/07/trump-files-when-donald-destroyed-priceless-art-build-trump-tower/

    • Petunia Cat

      😮😮😮😮
      😠😠😠😠

  • Joe Beese

    Why not? We’re the way the fuck past worrying about “optics” at this point.

    https://twitter.com/yashar/status/898232457601982464

    • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

      Heh, the child rapists could hang out together.

    • proudgrampa

      BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

    • BosGrl

      Why is this traitor still in office?

      • suziq

        And why is he (or anybody) meeting with Assange?

      • Mehmeisterjr

        Paul Ryan, for one, thinks that it is pretty goddam funny that Rohrabacher is a Russian spy and that nobody should let on to that fact.

        Sooooo… That’s at least two Russian spies.

  • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

    What stage is Bannon in now? Larva, Pupa…is he molting. Holy flayed martyrs of christ, that man is an angry rash of a human being.

  • Bill D. Burger

    Trump’s history of preserving historical and natural national monuments is pretty horrific:

    https://twitter.com/Dorissays/status/898200032020770818

    • jesterpunk

      But they are not big beautiful statues to traitors.

    • BadKitty904

      I.e., “non-existent”.

    • NellCote71

      Duh. These monuments weren’t slave-holding traitors.

  • dslindc
  • Fancy Meau-Faux
    • TJ Barke

      I wouldn’t exactly expect them to clash…

      • WIDTAP

        Mosh, maybe.

        • Blackest Noobs

          i don’t think the juggalos are racists…could be wrong…they’re definitely aggro…maybe aggro-fake…i can’t remember..fucking insane clown posse.

          • Zippy W Pinhead

            the only thing they’re racist against is magnets

          • MynameisBlarney

            And good music.

          • alpacapunchbowl

            Juggaloes are at least curious about how magnets work, so…point goes to the Juggaloes?

            I once saw a Latino kid on the bus sporting ICP patches on his backpack, so…not (inherently) racist, I guess?

          • MynameisBlarney

            They don’t care about skin color at all.

          • alpacapunchbowl

            Well well. So that makes one good thing I can say about juggaloes. What a time to be alive!

          • MynameisBlarney

            I actually know a couple.
            They’re really quite nice peeps.
            Not aggressive or mean-spirited at all,m they just like the music that ICP promotes.
            They rarely listen to ICP anymore.

          • WIDTAP
      • MynameisBlarney

        Why?
        They fuckin’ hate nazis as far I know.

      • Fancy Meau-Faux

        There are quite a few Juggalos of color.

        • TJ Barke

          Really?

          • MynameisBlarney

            Yup.

          • Fancy Meau-Faux

            I mean the numbers aren’t huge, but they are there. As far as I can tell they are primarily concerned with in group/out group identity rather than the color of the in group.

          • Zippy W Pinhead

            True- they’re all weirdos and serious druggies, but they do indeed embrace their own, regardless who they are or how they got there. Mostly, they just want to be left alone to be weird in peace.

          • msanthropesmr

            That’s my philosophy, but I’m not into faygo, so I couldn’t fit in.

          • Zippy W Pinhead

            besides, the music is awful. But hey, to each their own…

          • HarpyLibtart

            Hey, I’d rather roll with a pack of weirdly high clowns than Trump any day…and they did bless us with the eternal comedy of the lyric “fuckin magnets, how do they work?” that’s gotta be worth something. :P
            I don’t really understand why they get so much hate – I mean yeah, the music is terrible, but like you said, they really just want to wear facepaint and get wasted in peace, they’re not hurting anyone but themselves and they seem happy…
            And if they want to scare the shit out of Trump supporters, I’m all for that. :P

          • MynameisBlarney

            I once saw a clip of Ice T being interviewed at one of the earlier “Gatherings” where he said, if this was political, they’d (the govt.) shut it the fuck down.

            It’s the fact that all those people, black, brown, white, etc. are in one place, because they share a common interest in what the Gathering has to offer.

          • TJ Barke

            Huh.

          • MynameisBlarney

            TL;DR version.
            When POC and white folks unite, the PTB tend to get nervous.
            If the Juggalos were at all political, the govt. would crack down on their gatherings.

          • TJ Barke

            Motherfucking magic.

      • marxalot

        Juggalos are anti-fascist. I know. But for real, they are.

    • BadKitty904

      When Dumbasses Collide…

    • Petunia Cat

      😂😂😂😂 This is exactly what was needed to push this thing over the edge into Perfect Surreality. This is a bring on the dancing bear moment. Juggalos 🤣🤣🤣

    • Raan
  • Robbertjan Brandenburg

    Charlottevilles victims however can go fuck themselves.
    https://twitter.com/FLOTUS/status/898225742756159489

    • BosGrl

      Seriously? This is when she chose to tweet this?

      • WIDTAP

        See, Donald told you those filthy immigrants had no loyalty to the USA

    • jesterpunk
    • BadKitty904
      • jesterpunk

        We have seen naked pictures of the first lady but haven’t seen Trump’s tax returns.

        • BadKitty904

          “We have seen naked pictures of the first lady”

          Think about that for a minute and what it says about this “Administration” and the GOP…

          • jesterpunk

            Trump is even the one who released those images.

          • BadKitty904
          • Zippy W Pinhead

            Well, it’s not like she did something truly despicable like wearing a sleeveless dress

            SMH

          • jesterpunk

            Or said something about kids eating vegetables.

          • Righteous Action Jack

            MONSTER!!11!! Umm, wait, no, that’s not the gag. . . Quick, fetch the canned clams.

          • LesBontemps

            I prefer naked because it’s entirely possible that her wardrobe includes a swastika armband.

      • Righteous Action Jack

        What? No shots from that soft core lesbian porn shoot she did? Getting lazy, huh?

      • Robbertjan Brandenburg

        She looks like a Romanian girl I dated (and some more) except she had a really nice personality to fit the chassis

      • House0fTheBlueLights

        no slut shaming, please.

        • Red Bird

          Huh? More like calling out double standards.

        • Righteous Action Jack

          Just regular old shame shaming, then?

      • therblig

        stylish bug zapper

        • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

          My brain, at first: “That’s a really weird euphemism”

      • AuntyMaude

        Well she is beautiful but only on the outside where it doesn’t count. At least that’s what mom always said.

        • BadKitty904

          At best, a convenient mannequin…

          • AuntyMaude

            Fair point.

    • Blackest Noobs

      well she is a foreigner, so go figure.

      • Robbertjan Brandenburg

        I know what it means but yeah I learned it here.

    • Righteous Action Jack

      And as as southerner, I get to say “Bless yer heart!” to Melanoma and she’ll have no idea what that means.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      the Minnesota Mosque, also too

    • OrG in London

      Wow,I’m just hearing about this. I’ve been right where this happened. Fuck.

      • Robbertjan Brandenburg

        I can honestly say every western European has.

      • alpacapunchbowl

        An ex-bf of mine and I stayed at a hotel on Las Ramblas years ago. I remember being very excited because he bathroom had a bidet.
        They have those flamenco guys who dance for money, and one day we saw a little old lady talk one of them into dancing with her, she was spry and still had the moves. It was delightful.

        • OrG in London

          Yes, Barcelona is one of my favorite places.

        • Robbertjan Brandenburg

          Yeah I used to Live in El Arenal, Mallorca and visited Bareclona regularly.

      • TakingAmes

        Me too. On my honeymoon.

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        My mom liveslives a few blocks from where the Charleston Nine were murdered, and my best pal used to hang out at Pulse nightclub. It never happens in your town, until it does.

  • House0fTheBlueLights

    I hope the slowdown in Wonkette posts is lunchtime and not something like a new terrorist attack.
    Oh, wait.
    Fuck.

    • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

      i was noticing that too – but the sleep thing is making me weird.

      • BadKitty904

        Go to bed!

        • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

          can’t – need to last a few more hours at least if I’m to get back on schedule.

          • BadKitty904

            Ah. OK, that makes a diff…

  • Marceline

    Every time I see a picture of Bannon I can practically hear his liver screaming.

    • Mehmeisterjr

      Generally speaking, if I hear a liver screaming, I will attempt to rescue it. But in this case, I fear that trying to rescue Bannon’s liver would only put my own liver at risk.

      And what if I missed out on a liverwurst sandwich?

      No, it is much more risky than it is worth.

  • Joe Beese
  • btwbfdimho

    Speaking of angels falling from the sky in Berlin, here is Lucio Dalla, vecchio comrade, so sit down, watch, read & listen.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UuCx5jRy5XA
    Se io fossi un angelo
    chissà cosa farei
    alto, biondo, invisibile
    che bello che sarei
    e che coraggio avrei
    sfruttandomi al massimo
    è chiaro che volerei
    zingaro libero
    tutto il mondo girerei
    andrei in Afganistan
    e più giù in Sudafrica
    a parlare con l’America
    e se non mi abbattono
    anche coi russi parlerei
    angelo se io fossi un angelo
    con lo sguardo biblico li fisserei
    vi do due ore, due ore al massimo
    poi sulla testa vi piscerei
    sui vostri traffici, sui vostri dollari, sulle vostre belle fabbriche
    di missili, di missili
    se io fossi un angelo, non starei mai nelle processioni
    nelle scatole dei presepi
    starei seduto fumando una marlboro
    al dolce fresco delle siepi
    sarei un buon angelo, parlerei con Dio
    gli ubbidirei amandolo a modo mio
    gli parlerei a modo mio e gli direi
    “Cosa vuoi da me tu”
    “I potenti che mascalzoni e tu cosa fai li perdoni”
    ma allora sbagli anche tu
    ma poi non parlerei più
    un angelo non sarei più un angelo
    se con un calcio mi buttano giù
    al massimo sarei un diavolo
    e francamente questo non mi va
    ma poi l’inferno cos’è
    a parte il caldo che fa
    non è poi diverso da qui
    perché io sento che, son sicuro che
    io so che gli angeli sono milioni di milioni
    e non li vedi nei cieli ma tra gli uomini
    sono i più poveri e i più soli
    quelli presi tra le reti
    e se tra gli uomini nascesse ancora Dio
    gli ubbidirei amandolo a modo mio
    a modo mio…

  • weejee
    • Mehmeisterjr

      Interesting that The Donald managed to get this simple flow chart wrong.

      Even Mike Huckabee managed to get it right, temporarily, until he again got it wrong with a racist turnaround worthy of The Donald himself.

      • Pauladrios

        Click96h

        Google is paying 97$ per hour! Work for few hours and have longer with friends & family! :!al416d:
        On tuesday I got a great new Land Rover Range Rover from having earned $8752 this last four weeks.. Its the most-financialy rewarding I’ve had.. It sounds unbelievable but you wont forgive yourself if you don’t check it
        :!al416:
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  • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos
  • SayItWithWookies

    Bannon’s pretty damn arrogant if he just goes and names his next victim like that. Are we sure it’s Ted Cruz who’s the Zodiac Killer and not this guy?

    • Righteous Action Jack

      I dunno, the Zodiac was a much better writer than Bannon, but you do never see Bannon and the Zodiac at the same Legion of Doom conventions.

  • AJ Milne

    (Blinks at ‘teetotaler’…)

    Well, in fairness, tea _could_ do that to your skin…

    … if you maybe soaked yourself in a vat of the stuff for a few months or somethin’.

  • themidniteskulker

    Please, no more mentions of Steve Bannon’s butt. Really.

  • Portia McGonagal

    And his “ethno-nationalist” minions won’t believe that he said what he said about them because “fake news” of course. They’ll continue to be his useful racist idiot brigade. I’m hoping fat ass herpes face has overplayed his nose picking hand here but we’ll see.

  • Ωbjectifier

    “…have to spend the rest of his life picking skin tags off his grundle all by himself…”
    That’s OK, breakfast wasn’t that good anyway and I could use the purge.

    • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

      Yech! I’ll never eat Frosted Grundle Flakes again either!

  • bluicebank

    Maybe “going off the rails” is contagious, is the explanation. Trump is the carrier.

    Not saying Bannon wasn’t cray before. Sometimes all you need is a weakened immune system in the first place, and Typhoid Donnie comes along and boom, get out the mosquito netting.

    • Sakonyachen

      i thought Palin was the carrier. In reality none of them are, since they all show symptoms.

  • whitroth

    Could his skin issues be because he was never vaccinated? Or maybe his mommy didn’t take him to the doctor, because she couldn’t afford a doctor?

    And YAY! All Nazi angels should be punched in the disk, and tossed into the cesspool where they came from. And in the meantime, where’s my Nazi Angel Flyswatter?

    • AuntyMaude

      Angel libelz

  • NotDarkYet

    Interesting — all those people talking to the press, not knowing that they are talking to the press or that they are on the record (to wit: the Mooch) … is that type of mental illness contagious?

  • Jonny On Maui

    every time a Confederate monument comes down, a Nazi angel gets punched in the dick.

    This is why I love Evan so…

    • Pat_Pending

      that and “…picking skin tags off his grundle…”

      • Sharla Fouquet

        And don’t forget “stinky racist buckets of dick cheese” – – I’m simultaneously laughing and gagging.

  • This was a direct appeal to the left. Who may be forgetting that trumo fucking hired gokdmen sachs to begin with. He is trying to appeal to the speeches crowd and pretending trump is a populist and not an autocrat

  • Zyxomma

    I read this yesterday, and love what you’ve done with the piece, Evan.

  • RobbyBobbyBoo

    How have I never heard of a grundle before?

  • Bannon doesn’t “drink” is a technicality–he sleeps in a ziplock coffin full of Everclear & has a Tia Maria IV drip. Needs his mouth free to call out all the ((cucks.))

    • AuntyMaude

      Bannon doesn’t drink anymore. He doesn’t drink any less, but he doesn’t drink any more. Mmm, smell the mothballs.

      • Moth balls, rotten cold-cuts and stale Heineken sweats.
        He can drink Listerine, gargle and spit out the parts that aren’t alcohol like a true übermench.

        • Jeffery Campbell

          Can you still pour liquid shoe polish through a couple of slices of bread and drink the alcohol? Asking for a friend…..

    • Sakonyachen

      Or a vodka enema?

      Hope you all brought your brain bleach! I almost stopped myself from saying it, but I’m not very good at that.

      • enema might cause run-off. He’s more of a soaked-tampon or three up the poop chute type. Waste not want not.

        • Sakonyachen

          I need to vomit. But first, well done!

          • I’ve been using the internet since before the WWW was invented.
            I can not be over-grossed-out; my sensitivity is charred black.

          • Guest Liberal

            That’s a handy condition with NAZIs in the WH.

    • Jay Silversmith

      and polish his sweethearts knob.

    • Guest Liberal

      And the family meth canning. It’s hell on bathtub porcelain, apparently.

    • Jeffery Campbell

      OMG, Tia Maria! It’s like it’s 1970 again.

  • GRH

    Just for the record – when an alt-righter calls a Conservative a “Cuck” it has nothing to do with sex.
    It’s short for Cuckservative, who is a conservative who has bought into leftwing ideas, and liberal values.

    • AuntyMaude

      Oh, they used to called RINOs: Repubelicans in Name Only.

    • The Militant Homosexual Agenda

      Also for the record, there are no alt-righters. They are NAZI-fascist-white supremacists.

    • dshwa

      They got the term cuckservative from the whole sex thing.

  • Vagenda and Pee-ara

    I’m pretty sure Bannon has a little Sherry after dinner, and no, that’s not his prostitute’s name, you pigs.

    • AuntyMaude

      More likely Jack Daniels. And nooo that is not his male prostitute’s name. That would be Donald Chum er Trump, you preverts!

    • CafeenMan

      Don’t prostitutes have standards? How much would he have to pay one to debase herself like that?

    • Jay Silversmith

      you misspelled Kellyanne.

      • Jeffery Campbell

        FOR.THE.WIN!

  • AuntyMaude

    Steve Bannon, can you say unkempt? Unnnn-kemmmmppt.

  • The Militant Homosexual Agenda

    “most human interactions with Steve Bannon are unsolicited.” And most solicited actions with Steve Bannon are inhuman.

  • SeeTrain65

    The president is still doing that this morning, on Twitter, bitching and man-baby crying about how every time a Confederate monument comes down, a Nazi angel gets punched in the dick. Sad!

    Well, since Angels don’t exist, all they’re doing is punching air. WIN WIN!

  • Sakonyachen

    “(We don’t understand how teetotalers get skin that bad, but hey, MAYBE he really doesn’t drink.)”

    I’m also wondering about the arm fat to torso fat ratio. Could be soda, but somehow I’m not convinced. Too much evidence to the the contrary when you consider the rambling phone call as well.

  • Jay Silversmith

    Bloated belly, blotchy skin, bags under eyes, bitches about everyone else…..please, Mary……He’s a drunk.

    • Jeffery Campbell

      Yes, and a long-term, chronic one at that. I recognize all those symptoms.

  • Jay Silversmith

    10 points for using “grundle” in a sentence.

  • Pauladrios

    Click96h

    Google is paying 97$ per hour! Work for few hours and have longer with friends & family! :!al416d:
    On tuesday I got a great new Land Rover Range Rover from having earned $8752 this last four weeks.. Its the most-financialy rewarding I’ve had.. It sounds unbelievable but you wont forgive yourself if you don’t check it
    :!al416:
    ➽➽
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  • Guest Liberal

    Who’s the cuck now, Steve?

  • Tasha Naraganza, of Spain

    FLASH: BANNON FIRED.

  • susan_g

    Looks like Steve-o will have plenty of time now to work on his flexibility exercises. That, and a diet, should help him get closer to his goal of self-gratification.

  • Jgb979

    BYE BITCH
    https://media3.giphy.com/media/GB7AfEnRyAPcI/giphy.gif

    https://media1.giphy.com/media/VsXhOdCYnpw1q/giphy.gif

    Hope he whoever he sublet his condo in hell to can still get a refund

  • Jeffery Campbell

    Couldn’t have happened to a nicer guy. Of course, this is only a start. Next stops – Gorka and Miller.

  • BearLeft

    Shit, he could probably butt-dial all of Atlanta with one cheek.

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