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The C-Star, bedecked with its refugee-intimidating banners.

A trouble-plagued ship run by a bunch of far-right YouTube loonies (for the purpose of blocking refugee boats from crossing the Mediterranean into Europe) broke down off the coast of Libya Friday, and was offered assistance by another boat from a group whose mission is to rescue refugees in distress. Just your basic Good Seamanship kind of thing, said the head of the refugee-friendly group Sea-Eye. Because rescuing people in crappy old boats is what they’re good at, after all.

The bad ship C-Star, operated by a group calling itself “Defend Europe” (and also “Generation Identity,” depending on the source you’re reading — it’s connected with a white-supremacist movement calling itself “Identitarianism”), got into some kind of mechanical difficulty and couldn’t maneuver. Italian maritime officials contacted Sea-Eye because its boat was closest to the reichwing ship. The chairman of Sea-Eye, Michael Buschheuer, said its vessel was prepared to go help the Nazis, because “To help a ship in distress is the duty of anyone at sea, without regard for their origin, race, religion or beliefs.”

The C-Star may have been unable to move, but it certainly wasn’t becalmed; while the Sea-Eye ship offered to assist it, the Nazis aboard Boaty McHitlerface refused to accept any help. It’s not clear whether the would-be rescuers’ filthy sentimental attachment to saving drowning refugees played a role in the C-Star crew’s insistence that it was fine, just fine.

“Sea-Eye took on a course towards the C-Star and got in contact with the right-wing extremists but they refused any help,” a spokesperson said.

“On the instructions of the Maritime Rescue Coordination Centre [in Rome], the Sea-Eye continued its search for shipwrecks and drownings.”

The nautical Nazis confirmed to authorities their vessel had experienced a “minor technical problem during the night,” so they’d shut down the engine to fix it. Their statement said they’d only contacted maritime authorities to comply with the letter of the law:

This means that under [maritime laws to prevent collisions] the vessel is considered “not under command” and information was sent out to vessels nearby in accordance with regulations.

This problem is about to be resolved.

Everything was just fine. Just a minor weapons discharge in cellblock THX-1138. No need to send help, everything’s fine. They’re fine. How are you?

Sea-Eye later posted a photo of C-Star; we’re not sure whether it was up and running again or still drifting. Doesn’t look like it has a bow wave. At the very least, it’s safe to say these folks have lost their moorings and are not on an even keel.

Boaty McHitlerface underway (?) again

Sea-Eye is one of several refugee-aid agencies previously denounced by Defend Europe when it was crowdfunding donations to charter the C-Star, vowing that the ship would block both refugee rafts and target “criminal NGOs… that are nothing less than part of the international human trafficking ring.” Because rescuing drowning people and taking them to safety where some people want them sure is some human trafficking. The Nautzees have had no end of trouble on their Voyages of the Damned Fools; the organizers escalated to renting a ship after a February incident in which they shot flares from a small boat at a humanitarian rescue ship operated by the charity SOS Méditerranée and Doctors Without Borders, after which the Boatnichts were arrested by Italian authorities, giving them just the publicity they wanted to raise money for the C-Star charter.

The ship was held by Cyprus authorities and released after the group insisted several Sri Lankans aboard were not being smuggled, but were “apprentice crew members” who would be debarking in Egypt. NGOs have warned that if the C-Star actually blocks rescues of refugees, it could endanger lives and break maritime law, but Defend Europe now says it only intends to “monitor” NGO ships, and will rescue, not harass, any refugees it finds in distress. Nonetheless, the merde-iners aboard C-Star have reportedly tried to troll ships operated by NGOs, shouting at them over megaphones and in at least one case “ordering” a Spanish rescue ship to leave a search and rescue area.

As for any rescue operations it might hypothetically conduct, Robert Timm, one of the German ship-heads, told the Independent that while they’d definitely help any refugees in distress, they would take them to African, not European ports, although the port he named, Tunis, hasn’t actually agreed to that plan.

In closing, here’s a German cartoon someone posted to the Sea-Eye Facebook thread:

Loose translation: “Looks like the Identitarians’ ship has sunk.” Works for us: Their ideology certainly doesn’t hold water, and the only part of the ship where they really belong is the poop.

And on that pun, it’s your OPEN THREAD!

[Buzzfeed / Independent / Buzzfeed / Sea-Eye on Facebook]

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  • Indiepalin

    I guess they learned THEIR lesson.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      “We taught them a lesson in 1918. And they’ve hardly bothered us since then.” — T. Lehrer

  • Ezio

    PLOT HOLE: If whites were so superior as white supremacists often claim, then how come they think everything from interracial marriage to immigration is somehow going to “genocide” white people into oblivion?

    I mean, I know the answer is karma and they’re afraid they will be treated the same as they have treated other races, but still.

    • BigCSouthside

      That’s what gets me. If the white gene pool is indeed superior, why the fuck do you have to tip the scales in your favor? You are the mostest bestest type of human, what the hell are you so worried about?

      I would imagine that being so superior no other race could even challenge you. Just naturally you would come out on top.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        For a while, the white guys had technological advantages. When the non-whites caught up, superiority went out the window.

      • Blackest Noobs

        of course science isn’t their strong suit but if it was…they would WANT, no DEMAND, that whitey got put through the paces instead of living a life of luxury….natural selection is a mutherfucker…it’ll put you through the ringer, and if you make it through…your descendants ARE stronger for it.

        so…yep…science completely lost on them and why people of color who have struggled are made of a stronger resolve.

        so those douches can wave their confederate loser flags all they want…it won’t change their fate one bit…they will still end of lazy, dumb, and fat.

      • FlownΩver

        Well, genetically superior in every aspect except appearance (probably) and behavior (for sure), thus completely unfuckable. You can see how that might affect their survival – or so we can hope.

    • Blackest Noobs

      it because if things were reversed, they would do everything in their power to reduce or remove darkies from getting an edge over them.

      this is their mentality while most people of color honestly don’t give a fuck about that superior this or that shit…just sounds like a bunch of whining from whiners that got everything and then such fuckheads they have to complain about that.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        Snowflakes. Fragile snowflakes.

  • Msgr_MΩment
  • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

    Will the seamen on board be discharged as it goes down?

    • Msgr_MΩment

      I tittered.

    • schmannity

      In your dreams!

    • yyyaz

      Ensign, suspend this man’s rum rations.

  • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

    That thing should be hauling garbage.
    No, wait. It should be hauled away as garbage.

    • ManchuCandidate

      And that’s when I punched the Klingon, Captain!

      • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

        And they will be no tribble at all.

        • Villago Delenda Est

          David Gerrold SWEARS he was not responsible for that line.

      • commatoes

        Trek upvote.

    • Me not sure

      It is hauling garbage.

    • commatoes

      Trek upvote!

  • OutOfOrbit

    PREDICTION: The gopCongress & that OPOS will Declare War before mueller gets off the pot, and then he will be non-gratis and the Rs will all sigh with relief

  • yyyaz

    The Identitarians are Nazi-ating.

    • Lascauxcaveman

      You’re certainly reich about that! I barfed anschluss the toilet already.

  • ManchuCandidate

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F3y00wvzeQs

    Even mercy has to be shown to the C-words of the C-Star.

  • doktorzoom

    Rejected kicker heads: Das Beavis Und Das Boot-Head, Run Silent Run Derp, Sea Cunt, Two Years Before The Master Race, and Stink The Bismarck!

    • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

      Uh oh, here we go. You are a very bad person Dok.

    • TakingAmes

      The Seaward!

    • therblig

      Whitanic

      • doktorzoom

        You’re King Of the Wordplay!

        • therblig

          upfist me like one of your french girls…

          wait, what?

    • ManchuCandidate

      NeoNazi Tide
      Moby Dicks

    • TakingAmes

      Losertania

      • doktorzoom

        Quite nice indeed.

      • FlownΩver

        Crap. I came, I didn’t scroll, I posted.
        Diurnally challenged and one amero in the red.

        • FlownΩver

          OK, trying again:

          The Andrea Deploria?

        • Lisacmckinnon

          Creations46b

          Google is paying 97$ per hour! Work for few hours and have longer with friends & family! :!ad196d:
          On tuesday I got a great new Land Rover Range Rover from having earned $8752 this last four weeks.. Its the most-financialy rewarding I’ve had.. It sounds unbelievable but you wont forgive yourself if you don’t check it
          :!ad196:
          ➽➽
          ➽➽;➽➽ http://GoogleFinancialJobsCash486HomeLook/Pay$97/Hour ★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★:::::!ad196l..,.

        • Mattiebgrant

          Spin64b

          Google is paying 97$ per hour! Work for few hours and have longer with friends & family! :!ag164d:
          On tuesday I got a great new Land Rover Range Rover from having earned $8752 this last four weeks.. Its the most-financialy rewarding I’ve had.. It sounds unbelievable but you wont forgive yourself if you don’t check it
          :!ag16s4d:
          ➽➽
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    • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

      The Derp Ship Lollypoop.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Moby Dickheads?

    • commatoes

      Das Boob?

    • Me not sure

      Ship of Tools?

      • doktorzoom

        Bravo!

    • CaliCheeseSucks

      A Reich To Remember.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      The Tits-up-anic?

      • Carpe Vagenda

        Goering Down to the Sea in Ships

    • SayItWithWookies

      The Flying Douchemen.

      • doktorzoom

        I like the cut of your jib.

        • Carpe Vagenda

          Operation Iron Petticoat?

    • PubOption

      Is the tree/island confusion another example of your geographical shortcomings?

      • doktorzoom

        Wut? I don’t doubt I fucked up somewhere, but I know not which error you mean this time…

        • FlownΩver

          Filmed on location in Oakinawa, no?

        • calliecallie

          I find these geographic anomalies endearing.

        • No doubt Yoyodyne had a John Smalltrees on the payroll.

    • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

      The SS Himmler.

    • armed_bears

      The Unfathomables

    • grindstone

      You are captain of the Cutty Snark.

    • armed_bears

      I can’t think of any more boat puns. Canoe?.

    • OneYieldRegular

      Raft of the Medummköpfe

    • leemoder

      Voyage to the Bottom of the Turd Bowl

    • scubaix

      Swasticanoe?

    • FlownΩver

      Losertania?

    • SadDemInTex
    • Grokenstein

      Gray Lady White Male Down, Master Race and Commandant: The Alt-Right Side of the World, and Wankers Away!

  • cheetojeebus

    “Das Derp”, really tedious Herzog film wherein …oh shit, i can’t remember.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      wherein Klaus Kinski broods. Darkly.

  • memzilla Ω

    I believe the only puns Dok missed were “Hakencruise” and “Kreigsmaroon.”
    . https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/c4d9dc9f00e3e94126c496af90437509e7fe0ab57fcbc727a0168e605ecee354.jpg

    • doktorzoom

      Oh, my, both winners.

      • Beanz&Berryz

        I especially like Kreigsmaroon

    • amrak63

      Come to think of it, Bugs gave the Ratzis a hard time, too.

      I wanted to post “Herr Meets Hare” here, but apparently YT does not have it. Ach du lieber!

  • schmannity

    Nautical Nazis are a local Wagner tribute orchestra.

  • Ezio

    Right wingers: Stop playing identity politics! This why Trump won! People are sick and tired of you SJWs making everything about racism and sexism.

    Also right wingers: We need to protect Europe from immigrants because the white race is under attack!

  • TundraGrifter

    “Sea Monkeys Saved – Details at 11.”

  • Me not sure

    She looks down at the stern to me compared to the upper shot. That could be very bad, if you’re not on a surfacing U-boat.

    • willi0000000

      need a video to see if it’s the swells or the boat . . . if that far down at the stern and no power a good following wave and she’s down.

  • schmannity

    Not Das Boot.

  • Carpe Vagenda

    An inbred world leader pissing match you can get behind: Richard III and Henry VIII beef on twitter.

    (not threaded, but you can follow it back)

    https://twitter.com/richard_third/status/896094348160385024

  • amrak63

    The Sea Nazis? Didn’t they used to be big foes of Aquaman?

    Until he kicked their Ratzi asses? WITH FISH?

  • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

    Meanwhile, we’ve got splitters at work again.

    https://twitter.com/elielcruz/status/895858102452486144

    • jowgajen

      Sexual revolution, you are doing it wrong?

  • ariel_gee_398
    • BigCSouthside

      Well, that particular loon needed to get to international waters for totally not reasons involving legal stuff

    • doktorzoom

      “You got vomit on my radio!”

      “You got radio on my vomit!”

      — MST3K, Catalina Caper

  • Beanz&Berryz

    That was good and punny…

    And I like the nauticalese, too.

  • Villago Delenda Est

    Boat Nazis are like Surf Nazis.

    Google it, so Dok doesn’t hit me with a hammer.

  • Rick Hill

    Idk. I know saving those guys is the “right thing” to do but I’ve seen this movie before. Those rightwingers will go on to play a pivotal role in bringing about another holocaust or Twilight movie, something terrible, is what I’m saying

    • SayItWithWookies

      Admit them to art school. Crisis averted.

  • Bill D. Burger

    The nautical Hitlerians did Nazi that coming, huh? Anne Frankly I would sailed by laughing at em’…..just making them Führerous. That would be my final solution. AmiReich?

    :-P Oh yes I did!

    • commatoes

      Your cup puneth over?

      • Bill D. Burger

        Nazi puns are Hitlerous’!

        • Villago Delenda Est

          You are all goering to pay for these puns.

          • Bill D. Burger

            Oh…Now don’t Jewish!

    • Msgr_MΩment

      You will pay an unholy cost for that pun.

      • Bill D. Burger

        Caught with my panzers down!

  • Joe Beese

    The F-35 may not be able to, you know, fly. But the cockpit sure is cool.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1oyCzT6sB_4

    • Amy!

      “This one goes to eleven!”

  • Mehmeisterjr

    On a musical note: Calm Sea and Preposterous Voyage.

  • Fancy Meau-Faux

    So it seems like Youtube has decided to demonetize a whole bunch of right wing nut jobs. i.e. They are no longer getting advertising dollars for peddling bullshit. Of course they are all screeching CENSORSHIP.

    I mentioned to one of them today that the invisible hand of the market is just giving them the finger.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/701d8d4c64c4bf15245e27991a3d325459c3b4cde68f3522be29647a7ec6aa7e.png

    • whitroth

      Oh, dear. Don’t let the door hit you on the way, oops, that must have hurt.

    • jesterpunk

      And nothing of value will be lost.

    • BigCSouthside

      Hmm. Usually they claim their first amendment rights are being trampled
      Edit: related. I heard Diamond and Silk are demonitized under this. Lol

      • Fancy Meau-Faux

        Not claiming that, but pretty much since YouTube is an effective monopoly that it amounts to censorship. Of course nothing has been taken down, so they aren’t being censored. They just aren’t getting ad dollars now.

        • Serai 1

          There are other places to see videos, including Facebook and Twitter, so no, Youtube is not in any way a monopoly.

    • Bill D. Burger
      • (((fka_donnie_d)))

        Stolen

      • (((fka_donnie_d)))

        In fact, will make it a phone wallpaper.

    • Carpe Vagenda

      Next, TYT.

    • Three Finger Salute

      Please say Deplorebel Media is one of them. Boy, do I ever want to see that hateful little shit Ezra Levant pull another tantrum as yet another failed “news” network of his goes broke. His lackey Gavin McInnes would rip his Nazi-hipster beard off in frustration. This fratbro POS said Justin should have been disqualified from being PM because “he has Down Syndrome” and started an IRL troll group that harassed First Nations demonstrators in Halifax. Lauren Southern is their 20-year-old skinny, blonde Faux Noise wannabe who now belongs to one of these refugee-boat-harassment groups, and at one point during her time with the “network,” trolled trans people by “changing her driver’s license” to be legally recognized as a man.

      Northern equivalent of InfoWars and James O’Queef’s sting operation group, with yet another shill employee who’s managing Harper Jr.’s campaign and is looking to bait enough disaffected purity ponies to split the vote so the cons can get back into power. Fuck them. They deserve to go under and if they’re not on this current list of advertising-ineligible channels, I hope they soon are.

  • whitroth

    Y’know, that last picture of the Not-sea boat sure looks like it’s getting ready to submerge, um, oh, right, it’s not a U-boat… what’s the right nautical term… um, “sinking”? Is that right? Did they blow a hole in the side…?

    • TakingAmes

      The ass end is too full of derp.

  • Beanz&Berryz

    The Tribe is in prime form today…

  • Ezio

    While we’re on the subject, a recent issue of The Shadow covers the mindset of angry, entitled white people perfectly. Or in the case of this story, Nazis. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/ebd7e7460f88fddf51ab3580aa4dfa728d8055f7bcacdf3e92d79f5a31ea35c8.jpg

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Born on third base, thinks he hit a triple.

    • Joe Beese

      Newb question: Why does The Shadow keep his nose outside his scarf?

      • doktorzoom

        Only…The Shadow Nose! [Orson Welles Laugh]

        • Villago Delenda Est

          Dok…corner…NOW!

          • H0mer0

            [ E tu, doktor?]

        • amrak63

          “Who knows what evil puns lurk in the heart of Doktor Zoom?”

    • weighmaster

      What is the remedy?!!!!

      • Ezio

        In the next page he goes on to tell them that the only way guys like that get off is by “making destruction into a performance”. In context those guys he’s talking to were school shooters.

        • weighmaster

          Whew, thank you.

    • Serai 1

      WHAT WHAT WHAT???

      If you’re going to post something like this, POST ALL OF IT. Not fair to leave us hanging.

    • amrak63

      THIS SO MUCH.

      • Ezio

        “Who knows what evil lurks in the hearts of Nazis?”

        “The Shadow knows!”

  • Baconzgood

    (TEE-HEE)
    “Seamanship”

  • Suttree

    “See! Europe is full of jackasses patriots too. What do you think about that country now libtarts?”

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸
    • Suttree

      The person who did this should seek psychological help immediately!

      • TJ Barke

        Ben Garrison needs to be in an institution. Thanks a lot, Reagan…

        • cmd resistor

          Who the hell is he anyway? I have managed to live just fine without any knowledge of his existence until recently.

          • TJ Barke

            A very dumb wingnut cartoonist, who has quite clearly had a psychotic break.

          • amrak63

            “Psychotic break” assumes facts not in evidence: specifically, that he was ever mentally well-balanced to begin with.

    • TJ Barke
      • Martini Ambassador 🍸

        CNN is sending out radiation making us transgender furries? Possibly?

        • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

          With a possible ugly implication that gay =female transgendered. These people get more despicable every day.

        • Jennifer R

          If I could do that, I would put it on something a little more influential than CNN.

    • Lizzietish81

      SJW is a sexual identity?

      I mean social justice does make me horny but…

    • PubOption

      Is that supposed to be Shatner in the background?

      • doktorzoom

        Maybe it’s just an homage to the Gold Key Star Trek comix of the 60s and 70s, where none of the characters looked much like their TV counterparts…

        • amrak63
        • Villago Delenda Est

          The transporter room was totally different as well. Could never figure that out.

          • amrak63

            I remember in one of those stories–“The Ghost Planet”, IIRC–Kirk gave the order, “Rockets On Full! Same Course!” I was maybe in 6th or 7th grade at the time, and even then I was sophisticated enough about the Enterprise to know it did not use rockets. Also, the story had them going “deep into Galaxy Zelta”.

            THE. SHIP. DOES. NOT. HAVE. THE. RANGE. OR. SPEED. TO. GO. TO. OTHER. GALAXIES.

            Vaal damn it!

    • amrak63

      I wonder what George Takei will have to say about this–nah, he’ll probably just ignore it as the trash it is.

    • amrak63

      “Mr. Garrison, your agonizer.”

    • Mysterious Masked Wrestler

      I don’t understand this at all. What point is he trying to make? Does just writing “sjw” on you drawing make it a anti-sjw statement? What the hell?

      • Carpe Vagenda

        Well, the star of David brooch answers a question I’ve had for a while about whether these people are obsessed with their imaginary SJWs because they have “JW” in the name.

    • Ezio
    • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

      Where can I get a snowflake comm badge?

    • spangled

      he didn’t work the jews into this one, he’s really slipping. low energy!

      • amrak63

        Well, (((Shatner))) IS Jewish…

        • amrak63

          Though as PubOption pointed out, the resemblance of this cartoon “Kirk” to Shatner is weak.

          • H0mer0

            and I’m not impressed with his Sulu depiction. How did Sulu “go too far”? What’s the point except that it made me google manspreading. Also what is that wavy thing in his face?

          • amrak63

            I don’t know what the waves are for on the “CNN” gadget, but it’s meant to represent Sulu’s tactical viewer, which was added in the 2nd season. In Red Alert situations, and sometimes even without Red Alert, the viewer would come up out of Sulu’s console.

        • Msgr_MΩment

          and several of the tribbles.

          • amrak63

            How can you tell if Tribbles are Jewish or not?

          • TakingAmes

            They’re circumcised. Duh.

          • amrak63

            I do NOT want to know how you determined that.

      • Ezio

        He also forgot to depict Donald Trump somewhere in there as a brave Knight in shining armor.

        • spangled

          the captain is trump obviously, he looks just like him.

          i, for one, am furious that sulu isn’t just george soros in a mask!

          • amrak63

            I don’t see the resemblance myself. Upvoted anyway.

          • spangled

            this is what ben garrison thinks trump looks like. i think the poor man suffers from face blindness. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/65df28c2e2e06deb6104e5a1ee86f6b845c97d7860e18c1c5d529358c5d877ec.jpg

          • H0mer0

            tie too short. Is there anything that isn’t wrong with that picture? (hand proportion, etc)

          • amrak63

            “It’s a Twitter bird! It’s a flying fuck! It’s…TOUPEE MAN!”

          • Ezio

            Alex Jones is Bones. Selling his wonderful health supplements.

          • amrak63

            None of even the highest-ranking Trumpanzees are smart enough to be Spock.

          • amrak63

            Would those “health supplements” be beads and rattles?

        • amrak63

          “Oh, Brave Sir Robin!”

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Ben Garrison has serious mental health problems.

      • amrak63

        So we should book him a flight to Tantalus 5 or Elba 2?

        • Villago Delenda Est

          Elba 2. The chair there might be better for him.

          • amrak63

            I assume you mean the original, unmodified, calming-effect chair.

          • Villago Delenda Est

            That’s the one! The one we see at the end of “Whom Gods Destroy” where Garth has been restored to sanity.

          • amrak63

            Anyone else think that there was a Klingon spy on Tantalus 5, and that’s how the Klingons developed the Mind-Sifter–or maybe that SOB Dr. Adams sold the plans to them?

          • Villago Delenda Est

            Perhaps Dr. Adams consulted with some Klingon scientist at a conference on Q’onos?

          • amrak63

            Hmmm…yeah, the technical borrowing could have gone the other way instead, or both ways.

    • Ezio

      Wait…is this cartoon he did in reference to this story from last week?

      https://www.themarysue.com/william-shatner-at-it-again/

      • Martini Ambassador 🍸

        That’s my guess, although I must admit I didn’t want to delve too deeply into Garrison’s mental process.

        • amrak63

          Or Shatner’s, judging from that article. I wonder if the poor guy’s starting to lose it–he is 86, after all. :(

  • Baconzgood

    And once again a Nazi ship can’t navigate in the Mediterranean Sea.

  • jesterpunk

    If I have learned anything from movies its that you get parades for sinking Nazi ships.

  • Mehmeisterjr

    ♫ On the Good Ship Nazi Slop ♫

  • ken_kukec

    “cellblock THX-1138” — Wow, Dok, bet you can trot out references to the Roger Corman and Russ Meyer oeuvres, too.

  • Bill D. Burger

    They should have contacted Jeffrey Lord for help. He would have been sympathetic and he now has all the free time in the world.
    ~snicker~

    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DG6MBOYUQAAcVr1.jpg

    • commatoes

      In this one instance he was accusing Media Matters of fascism and was using “Sieg Heil” to mock them. Everything else Lord has ever uttered seems to indicate he is a garbage human being.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        This is what it took, however, for CNN to do something about the shitstain.

  • commatoes

    FFS!!! Identitarians!?!

    That was your BEST F**KING IDEA?

  • Anna Rompage

    I hear sharks and other predatory sea creatures have a particular fondness for white meat…

  • Lizzietish81

    They’re lucky, Revy and the Black Lagoon could have found them…

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6F87Zc_92js

    • willi0000000

      ah, Two-Hands . . . the only thing shorter than her shorts is her temper.

    • capnkrunch

      Revy so awesome. I love how in Black Lagoon, the women are generally so much more badass then the men. Revy, Roberta, Balalaika just savage.

  • Randy Riddle

    Apparently, that racist and bigoted ship has sailed.

    • jesterpunk

      Not very far.

  • (((fka_donnie_d)))

    But, if they do not speak English how will they read the banners?

    • Latverian Diplomat

      In the first picture there is a banner in Arabic, though hopefully it says “Never mind these assholes.”

      • (((fka_donnie_d)))

        There’s a Horror/Spy book series called Nathaniel Cade, where some terrorists recruit a white Gen X loser and give him some name in Arabic that sounds really impressive but means “Cowardly Goatfucker” or something.

  • Me not sure
    • Notreelyhelping

      It’s just a flesh wound!

    • mardam422

      This is fine.

  • Juan de Fuca

    Those nutjobs are going to get themselves in deep ship one of these days and probably schooner rather than later.

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      I Sea what you did there

    • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

      They’re just dinghy.

    • Latverian Diplomat

      Perhaps a stern warning is in order.

      • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

        You should take a bow for that.

      • Mehmeisterjr

        Aft-er a pun like that there will be helm to pay.

    • Bill D. Burger

      They deserve their terrible oar deal. Lots of pent up anchor there!

      • (((fka_donnie_d)))

        *groan*.

        • Bill D. Burger

          I’m ship faced this afternoon! …. Makes me a nauti buoy!

        • Mehmeisterjr

          Canoe do better?

          • Msgr_MΩment

            Would you like to see my cat o’ meringue?

      • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist
  • scubaix

    the ironing is delicious…

    • TakingAmes

      But the starching leaves a stiff taste in my mouth.

  • (((fka_donnie_d)))

    (repost)

    Here’s what I can never understand about this ideology nonsense.
    If our Western Civilization is so amazingly great, why do you expect
    these people to not want to assimilate? I mean, if white people are so
    awesome, wouldn’t the refugees be eating macaroni salad and buying up
    All Of the Sweater Vests 48 hours after they landed?

    It’s almost like they realize that while Shakespeare and Dickens may (or
    may not) be great authors, the average migrant probably has more to
    offer society than the average nativist.

    • commatoes

      Y’all forgot that CoolWhip™, canned fruit cocktail, and mini marshmallow thingy that they like.

      (To be honest I kinda like it in a “I am not giving up the occasional bowl of Cap’t Crunch” way.)

      • (((fka_donnie_d)))

        I’ve grown very fond of Special K in my old age

        The breakfast cereal, not the pharmaceutical

    • Khavrinen

      “wouldn’t the refugees be eating macaroni salad and buying up
      All Of the Sweater Vests 48 hours after they landed?”

      “Ain’t gonna work in da fields no more,
      Gonna be Amway distributor
      Ain’t gonna work in da fields no more, no no,
      Gonna be Amway distributor

      I get a bowl of plastic fruit,
      And a microwave oven, too,
      Then I’ll have the neighbors over
      For a weenie barbecue.”

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ztCrH4ZwySc

    • Three Finger Salute

      Or they’re frustrated that there are immigrants who don’t “assimilate” Borg-style in that they don’t leave the entirety of their native culture behind. Nationalism has become a religion where syncretism is blasphemy. Consider how in the U.S., multilingualism even by native English speakers is heavily frowned upon as “cosmopolitanism.” American hegemony is so strong that it’s even affected Europe.

      The identitarian groups are anti-EU and expect that even migrants from within the EU will abandon their home country’s language and traditions immediately (or soon) after arriving on “sovereign soil.” They don’t want Lusophones in Paris or Francophiles in Lisbon. And even more than that, they sure as hell don’t want Arabic speakers anywhere. If your name is Muhammad, you better damn well become Michel.

      In the U.S., if you are a migrant who learns English, you’re expected to forget your Spanish (or whatever language) and even Anglicize your name. You don’t wear traditional cultural garb or participate in cultural events. Cinco de Mayo is a drinking holiday and nothing else. This is what the 19th and early 20th-century immigrants were forced to do and what even the descendants of them (many of whom came out in droves to vote for Trump) believe should still be the case.

      Nobody from the Portuguese side of my family celebrates Dia dos Cravos or attends the Holy Ghost processions for St. Isabel. Nobody could tell you what the Alhambra was or even identify Salazar. The Irish side of my family only pulled out the Irish card to justify not getting help for alcoholism (embracing the negative stereotype). There are chouriço markets, but they’re called things like “Bob’s Meats” or there’s an “ethnic specialty” shelf (a single shelf) at Stop & Shop that jumbles in everything from Sumol (Portuguese name-brand soft drink), to fried rice, to Goya beans, to even French pastries. Hot dogs, Cheez-Its and Mickey Dees count as “American” food. Everything else is “ethnic.”

      As such, they expect the same of Hispanics, Asians and especially Africans, including black Americans. You hear the old “why’d so-and-so name their kid a ‘made-up’ name like Dikembe Mutumbo” around the dinner table a lot. Assimilation for a lot of people in the Western countries means you get “married” to the new homeland and drop your old identity altogether. You can’t straddle the fence (or jump the wall)… otherwise you’re “cheating” on a personified “spouse” that is your new country. Cosmopolitanism as polygamy.

      • (((fka_donnie_d)))

        Like I said, they want to forget that grown ass people need to contribute to society and get credit for being white. People who show up and do work make them uneasy.

        • Three Finger Salute

          I have to admit, American “exceptionalism” is so simultaneously unique and isolating, that even if I emigrated to another Anglospheric country like the U.K. or even magical Canada, I’d probably feel a personal sense of guilt over being a client of the healthcare system. If I got a job as a civil servant, I’d probably feel inwardly guilty about “stealing from the taxpayers” too. That’s just one cultural difference that I’d struggle being comfortable with. The fact that Canada is officially bilingual, while the U.S. wants Spanish to disappear, is another glaring difference that would take some getting used to. There are no road signs here that say “Detener” like they do “Arrêtez” up there. Nobody has a bumper sticker on their truck reading “Welcome to Canada; speak Canadian” (and chances are, even if they do have a truck, it doesn’t have chrome testicles attached to the back of it). There is no such person who had to change his name to Peter Watering-Hole before being eligible to be the prime minister. And “sorry” is not a word that exists in American English. (Well, it does, but it’s rarely used.)

          That’s what I’m already immersed and “assimilated” into, as someone who’s never even left my state, let alone the country. Most Americans do not travel outside U.S. borders because they can’t afford it, either because they don’t have the money (and don’t have a job where they would earn money), or there are no protections for their job if they take time out of work. (Or, even if they do, they’re not interested, because who gives a shit about the rest of the world.) The suburbs and small towns aren’t really places where a lot of “mingling” goes on. They’re borderline inbred, and everyone usually just stays behind because they peaked in high school and end up marrying the cousin of the cop who gets donuts at the donut shop where his uncle’s mechanic’s brother’s niece works, she who married the son of the baker whose dad owns a catering business that made the cake for the cop’s sister-in-law’s hairdresser’s wedding to the bus driver’s nephew’s 3rd-grade math teacher. (Bob’s your uncle and I’m my own grandma. Such is suburban life.)

          Now, I wouldn’t go ahead and vote to dismantle that country’s social service system, and would probably get used to it after awhile, but it just goes to show that “assimilation” in various degrees obviously doesn’t happen overnight — and in some cases doesn’t (and shouldn’t need to) happen at all. (For instance, it’s always bothered me that I never learned another language, and certainly wouldn’t expect Canada to throw out their healthcare system for me.)

          • Erala Contratista

            Got some beige truck testicles in need of a home.

            Only on truck for a couple of days……….

  • jesterpunk

    This hasn’t been said in a while.

    http://i.imgur.com/5dXdPYl.gif

    • puredog

      Everybody is entitled to dream.

  • bookish

    Bobby Ghosh ✔ @ghoshworld
    India diplomat tells me: “We regard @IvankaTrump the way we do half-wit Saudi princes. It’s in our national interest to flatter them.”

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      Half-wit Saudi prince libelz!

    • Mehmeisterjr

      Here’s the difference, though. The half-wit Saudi princes will still be Saudi princes for the foreseeable future. Ivanka is only a half-wit American princess for the length of the unstable Trump Régime.

  • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

    No wonder that they are in trouble. This ship has been stopped in every port they’ve docked in. In Cyprus, the Sri Lankan “crew” disembarked and are either seeking asylum there or have accepted passage home.
    https://www.theguardian.com/world/2017/jul/27/anti-migrant-boat-crew-arrested-famagusta-cyprus-people-smuggling

  • Jo Mathie

    There is a really good code of conduct when it comes to sea travel. Last year my friend and her family got into serious trouble in a storm near Barbados while sailing around the world. A lovely American couple heard them on the radio and rescued them (the kids were really scared, but the rescuers were lovely to them. Sadly the boat was lost which they had pretty much put all their savings into). I cannot imagine these racist idiots lifting a finger to help anyone in trouble – they’d probably laugh at refugees drowning. Bless the crew of the Sea Eye for their compassion.

    • Mehmeisterjr

      Still and all, I’m just as glad that nobody helped the Bismarck.

      • doktorzoom

        You have a prejudice against cream-filled donuts?

        (also I have no idea how maritime law and law of war overlap… pretty sure an attacker is supposed to rescue survivors, tho. And machine-gunning them is definitely out. )

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      It’s actually law, at least in American waters, that if a ship is in distress, the nearest vessel must offer assistance. This came about as the result of the sinking of the Titanic
      https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/SS_Californian
      But I’m sure they were good people and would have done it anyway.

  • Itakecofefewithwackelpudding

    “The Nautzees have had no end of trouble on their Voyages of the Damned Fools; ”
    Doc, come claim your people’s choice Pulitzer!

  • blarg

    “The Nautzees”…. Dok, that gem alone was worth my monthly subscription.

  • Ricky Gay

    Keep the boat puns coming! I am having a ballast!

    • blarg

      I agree, full steam ahead with the puns!

      • Ricky Gay

        I am going to go open my locker

      • MynameisBlarney

        Just don’t go overboard.

        • Ricky Gay

          Well it looks like you dove right in!

          • MynameisBlarney

            Had to, we’re full to the gunwales with spoiled puns.

          • Ricky Gay

            Take a bow!

    • Bill D. Burger

      It’s all beginning to look rigged to me. That boat just needed a good bow movement.

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      We’ll sea if these puns hold water.

      • Ricky Gay

        If they don’t, I will hafta bail

        • MynameisBlarney

          Just keep an eye out for the seamen on the poopdeck.

          • Ricky Gay

            Arrrrgh

          • doktorzoom

            SANTORUM!

          • commatoes

            Only if it’s frothy.

          • Ricky Gay

            Tis not but a sperm whale

      • valgalky23

        Does that mast have a woody?

    • MynameisBlarney

      I’ll try, but working the word “binnacle” into a pun will be a challenge, but this old fo’c’sle give it a try.

    • doktorzoom

      I’ve been rereading my Patrick O’Brian novels, and keep hearing Jack Aubrey and Stephen Maturin:

      Two weevils crept from the crumbs. “You see those weevils, Stephen?” said Jack solemnly.

      “I do.”

      “Which would you choose?”

      “There is not a scrap of difference. Arcades ambo. They are the same species of curculio, and there is nothing to choose between them.”

      “But suppose you had to choose?”

      “Then I should choose the right-hand weevil; it has a perceptible advantage in both length and breadth.”

      “There I have you,” cried Jack.”You are bit — you are completely dished. Don’t you know that in the Navy you must always choose the lesser of two weevils? Oh ha, ha, ha, ha!”

      “D’ye smoke it, Stephen?!”

      • Ricky Gay

        You bolled me over with that one, that I will tell you!

        • doktorzoom

          “Jack, you’ve debauched my sloth.”

          • armed_bears

            And dammit, two books later, his wombat, too!

      • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

        Spoiler alert-,when poor Stephen decided that a bale of Coca leaves was providing an excellent cure for his laudanum habit. Until the rats found the leaves, became friendly and semi tame, then became vicious and started killing each other after the supply ran out.
        They didn’t include any of that in the movie.

      • Rags

        Aubrey:”So Stephen, why is it called the dog watch?”
        Maturin: “Because it is cur-tailed.”

    • commatoes

      You are all keeling me.

      • Ricky Gay

        Should we hold up?

        • armed_bears

          A port in any storm, Ricky…

          • Ricky Gay

            Better ask Dock

    • Rags

      How about a warning for 4-5?

      “Bow down before I give you a stern warning about your hold where the sun don’t chine.”

  • commatoes

    When talk of Nazi’s comes up, I think of two things. The 1976 Italian film “Salon Kitty” by Tinto Brass. Related images are NSFW.

    and this image.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/af53293fb86b94f8df9f20ff741f8228306dff9cc10f8b600b24e2d8c74a13b1.jpg

  • Thiazin Red

    Really good group of winners at the Hugos today.

    The only one I might change is Ada Palmer wining the Campbell award, because I could not get through Too Like the Lightning.

  • Juan de Fuca

    O/T Did you guys hear that Usain Boat lost his final race? It was a good effort but he just couldn’t ketch him at the end.

    °I’ll stop now*

    • doktorzoom

      As Homer Simpson would say, “Dhow!”

      • Carpe Vagenda

        Something something Bolling tweeting his junk.

    • Bill D. Burger

      Yup! He learned there’s a time and a pace for everything.

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      “Usain BOAT.” ISWYDT

    • MynameisBlarney

      Any more puns like that and ye’ll be kissin’ the gunners daughter!

  • Serai 1

    *shrug* Don’t want help? You’d rather starve or drown? Fine, be shark food, whatever. There are far more worthy people out there to rescue, including all the refugees.

    • mancityRed6

      “hey, I tried.”
      *goes on my way*

  • (((fka_donnie_d)))

    love hate boat

    • mancityRed6
      • (((fka_donnie_d)))

        I think he wanted Kacich but the tattoo artist was drunk.

      • Good_Gawd_Yall

        He should go ahead and have “and unemployable” tattooed beneath “racist.”

        • mancityRed6

          I’m fairly certain the “racist” does both.

      • MynameisBlarney

        And that is the look of the terminally unemployable.

      • Persistent Demme

        His mother must be so proud!

        (He’s trying to look all badass, but he’s more herp-a-derp than anything else.)

      • Up In Smoke O’hontas

        That’ll teach him not to get drunk and pass out at the next klan gathering.

  • mancityRed6

    https://img.wonkette.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/08/Boaty-McHitlerface.jpg
    so, they don’t keep their banners up all the time?
    also, their aft is a little too close to sea level, isn’t it?

    • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

      Yeah, they seem a bit down at the stern. A good wave and they’re swamped.

    • jesterpunk

      They did nazi the manual and even if they did they couldn’t read it.

      • Bill D. Burger

        Anne Frankly, if it had a good bow movement, it wouldn’t be so ship faced and lost at sea. Captain must be a bad buoy.

        • jesterpunk

          Maybe the sharks will Goebbels them up quickly?

    • Ducksworthy

      “Tides go and and the tides go out. How does it work? Nobody knows.” There’s a lot these people don’t understand.

    • natoslug

      The green cargo container holding their cache of Nazi gold is weighing them down a bit. Either that, or it’s the pile of old box frames, random car parts, and a Camaro or two on blocks that they seem to have strapped to the ass-end of their main boat-y area.

    • armed_bears

      I envision a group in the bridge saying “pointy end goes first”.

      • armed_bears

        And just to get it out of the way: “That’s what she said.”

        • mancityRed6

          well, if it wasn’t gonna be you, it would have been me.

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      That has to be a used boat lot special.

      • mancityRed6

        the crane on the side kinda tips it off for me.

        • Good_Gawd_Yall

          And appears to be tipping it off (kilter) for them as well.

    • MynameisBlarney

      The Fail Boat.

      • mancityRed6

        “soon we’ll be making another run, the fail boat…”

    • Rags

      Broaching to in a following sea in 5..4..3..2..1……

  • Good_Gawd_Yall

    <—- furiously searching for the meme that best expresses her feelings about sinking Nazis . . . now where is . . . where did I put . . . Ah! Found it! https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/a43fd55d7853c8fd6c520fd970f631514906861aac962dd223284c4472310cd1.jpg

  • The Librarian

    🎶 Ship, ship, ship, Ship of Fools 🎶

    https://g.co/kgs/h7Zosf

  • scubaix

    So if I’m reading this right: Assholes almost drift into Fucking Libya. Someone comes to see if assholes need help. Assholes remain assholic.

    This stupid planet.

    • mancityRed6

      *these stupid people

  • Good_Gawd_Yall

    If I could Photoshop I’d take that second picture, where the ship is obviously way, way too low in the water at the back end, and add the shark from Jaws. But, alas, I cannot ‘shop. Tis a pity.

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      I can’t figure out if that’s the ship in trouble, or a wave obscuring the stern end of the ship. In any case it doesn’t look good.

      • Marion in Savannah

        It appears to be down by the stern, and it may also be listing to starboard.

        • Up In Smoke O’hontas

          Down by the stern and listing to starboard with votes!

  • Ellie

    “The Nautzees have had no end of trouble on their Voyages of the Damned Fools”
    Applause! Applause!

  • Cousin Itt de La Résistance
  • JMP

    So the C-word wasn’t C-worthy?

  • Me not sure

    This has become the very model of a performance of “The Pirates of Punzance”.

  • kindness

    Where is a torpedo when you need one?

    • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

      Waste of a perfectly good torpedo. Now a nice big rogue wave…

      • mancityRed6

        or the wake from a bigger boat that rescues people?

    • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

      A mine field full of votes!

  • Shanzgood

    If their whiteness is so valuable you’d think they’d be trying harder to preserve themselves so they can eventually get home and get busy out breeding the browns.

    • mancityRed6

      no one said they were SMRT

    • Ezio

      Well, there is a reason why white supremacists and MRAs often intersect.

    • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

      Maybe they’re serving themselves to the Great Whites. :P

      • Shanzgood

        Henh!

      • Three Finger Salute

        “Hitlergram!”

    • commatoes

      The Daily Stormer’s “Unite the Right” meet up in Charlottesville has some dress suggestions. And their own DIET BOOK IS COMING OUT.

      https://youtu.be/LinG32vnqqk

      • amrak63

        “I’m too sexy for my brownshirt, too sexy for my brownshirt, so sexy it hurrrrts…”

    • Three Finger Salute

      Why do you think they have all those PUA rape-apologist blogs? They want it to be acceptable to fuck as many Aryan bitches as possible with impunity, so they can spill their seed all over the place and outbreed the “shitskins.” They’ve actually said that they want polygamy legalized because “why should Muslims get to have harems and multiple wives at their disposal but not us?”

      • The Militant Homosexual Agenda

        Harems! Jesus fucking Christ. What century do they live in?

      • Up In Smoke O’hontas

        I’d hope for recessive gene mutations, but that takes way too long.

    • The Militant Homosexual Agenda

      I suspect they enjoy the manly manliness of being seamen.

      • NeoliberalBanksterCaptainHowdy

        Why aren’t they in a submarine? Submarines are long and hard and full of seamen.

        • The Militant Homosexual Agenda

          Perhaps they enjoy exhibitionism?

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸
    • Moebym Reborn

      Not everyone wants to see your hard-on for Trump, Ben.

    • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef
    • spangled

      oh..my…god. is he supposed to be jesus in this one?? the holes in his sides?

      YET HE PUT THE WORD “GOD” OVER HIS DICK?

      • Ezio

        You’d think that would be blasphemy.

        • mancityRed6

          I think that is his favorite 2 Corinthians verse

      • YoBunnyBunny

        But it’s a very little “god”…????…wtf

        • Mehmeisterjr

          You beat me to it.

        • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

          Demigod?

          • Erala Contratista

            Semidemihemiquaver god…………

      • bupkus231

        I think the “holes in his sides” are not holes, but where the bullets bounce right off of him. Garrison is a sick person….

        • spangled

          he has portrayed him as superman before, so maybe he can deflect the bullets of “the gay agenda”

    • mancityRed6

      the truly bad thing about that cartoon…someone _paid_ him money for it.

      • bupkus231

        Actually, I think nowadays, he’s mostly “self-published”.

    • Ezio

      Wait…was the purpose of this cartoon to make him look GOOD? Because it’s doing the opposite for me.

    • armed_bears

      Needz moar mansierre.

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      This person has, I suspect, a host of restraining orders keeping him away from children, his ex-wife (I’m guessing but what are the odds?), former neighbors, animal shelters, playgrounds, retirement homes, and several bars.

      • mancityRed6

        farms, you forgot farms

        • Good_Gawd_Yall

          And farms.

          • mancityRed6

            oh, lord, petting zoos?

          • therblig

            heavy petting zoos

          • mancityRed6

            my second favorite album, after white trash…etc.

        • The Militant Homosexual Agenda

          The sheep lie! The sheep lie!

    • Ezio

      Only a guy who thinks there is a “gay agenda” would post a cartoon of a man who is only wearing his underwear.

      • The Militant Homosexual Agenda

        I checked with headquarters and we agree he, at the very least, is a latent homosexual. We are sending a covert agent there to asses the situation.

      • NeoliberalBanksterCaptainHowdy

        With his widdler labelled “God”.

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      Trump has that pasted over his mirror

      • therblig

        god only knows what he used for paste

    • jowgajen

      So the FBI is now part of the Gay Islamist Antifa Agenda? I can’t even come up with a witty second sentence, the cognitive dissonance is too great.

      • NeoliberalBanksterCaptainHowdy

        The Deep State is part of the Cultural Marxist Islamist conspiracy. Didn’t you get the NSC memo?

    • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

      That… Cannot be real. Cannot. I mean. Wuuuut?

    • cmd resistor

      I could have gone my whole life without seeing that.

      • Martini Ambassador 🍸

        I did apologize…

      • The Militant Homosexual Agenda

        That which does not kill will only make you throw up?

    • Bill D. Burger
    • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

      You’re gonna walk the plank for that.

      • Martini Ambassador 🍸

        How ’bout if I go stand in the corner and think about what I’ve done?

    • TJ Barke

      That one is so fucking Poe’s law…

    • spangled

      honestly – pollock, georgia o’keefe, basquiat – all garbaj american artistes compared to ben garrison. Warhol who?

      • amrak63

        You forgot the snark tags. ;)

    • Rick Hill

      God is trump’s member? These people need therapy

    • Royal Ugly Dude

      Is Ben Garrison a discount version of The Onion cartoonist Kelly?
      That guy is a national treasure.

      • The Militant Homosexual Agenda

        Actually, that is exactly what this looks like. I’ve never heard of this Ben Garrison. And out of this context I would have guessed it to be from The Onion.

        • amrak63

          I pity parodists in this time. How can they make anything crazier than reality?

    • Three Finger Salute

      Well, now we know why Ben is so angry. He’s obviously a closet case.

      • commatoes

        I wonder if he has a deep emotional relationship with “god”.

      • therblig

        hey, it’s in the bible:

        “Take and eat; this is my body.”

      • The Militant Homosexual Agenda

        He’s probably fapping to his own drawing right now.

    • commatoes

      You know if you described this cartoon in detail to someone, the expected reply will probably be “Nah!!! You’re shitting me right?”

    • biologydave

      DAFUQ??????

    • Lizzietish81

      That’s pretty gay.

    • amrak63

      The Deity is a borderline jockstrap?

      The word “blasphemy” comes to mind.

      • MizzMazz

        It’s a god cod.

    • amrak63

      AYFKM?

    • Rags
  • gallbladder

    Where’s a torpedo when you need one?

    • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

      In my shorts?

    • armed_bears

      That’s what she said.

    • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

      I think that violates the Law of the Sea provisions about dumping waste.

    • Longstreet63

      Mines are safer, plus deniable!

  • Beaufighter

    Nautzees.

    Take your Pulitzer and go.

    • Bill D. Burger

      That Göring to leave a Nazi mark.

  • Jenny

    It is Friday. What kind of bullshit fuckery will we get from Trumplandia?!

    • jesterpunk

      He already twitted North Korea that bombers are on the way.

      • Good_Gawd_Yall

        Oh, gawd, did he really?

      • TJ Barke

        That just says they’re ready, not on the way…

        • jesterpunk

          Near the bottom it also says those plans are going to be part of a continuous mission flying over Asia too. So Trump saying this “Military solutions are now fully in place,locked and loaded,should North Korea act unwisely. Hopefully Kim Jong Un will find another path!” combined with any plane flying near North Korea could cause more issues even if it was something already scheduled like the war games with South Korea next month.

          An Air Force news release included in Pacific Command’s tweet notes that two bombers from Ellsworth Air Force base, S.D., recently arrived in Guam, but are part of a continuous mission that dates back years. The Air Force will continue to launch bomber flights, known as sorties, “to demonstrate the continued U.S. commitment to stability and security in the Indo-Asia-Pacific region,” according to the Air Force. The service added that doing so is “an important part of national defense” during a time of high regional tension.

          Then there is this

          A variety of other forces remain within reach of the Korean peninsula, probably including Navy submarines carrying nuclear missiles whose locations are kept secret. The top U.S. officer in Japan, Lt. Gen. Jerry P. Martinez, also released a statement Thursday that underscored combined U.S. and Japanese efforts to protect Japan, a potential target of North Korea, and explained why the Pentagon must continue flying missions despite a recent MV-22 Osprey aircraft crash off the coast of Australia.

        • Longstreet63

          It just means that bombers exist. Who would have thought?

          And seriously, bombers? What is this, 1954? Can someone explain SAMS to him?

          Submarine launched cruise missiles is how the world ends.

      • Ezio

        At least Dennis Rodman was TRYING to smooth things over with them.

        • armed_bears

          To think he was our good negotiation option.

      • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

        Which is just stupid. Our bombers are actually always “on the way”. They are stationed in Guam.

        • jesterpunk

          Right, and they always fly missions near North Korea, so now when they do it might be seen as an act of war because of Donny Dumbass.

  • snigsy

    I do not understand these identimoronarians. (Well, actually, I do. I’d just rather not.) All the money and energy spent on their anti-refugee shit could easily be directed at helping to resolve the conflicts that result in refugees.

    • Ezio

      Yeah but they want to keep brown people out of western countries but still want to keep stealing their resources with no consequences.

      • Three Finger Salute

        They’ve upped the ante. They no longer want to just keep the smelly brownz out of “their” pure, white countries. They want them exterminated so that the land and resources can be all theirs. See also Ted “Please Go Out to Sea Without a Lifeboat” Cruz and his enthusiasm for “turning the desert into glass.”

    • YoBunnyBunny

      Do indentimoranians hate identity politics, too?

      • snigsy

        They hate. Subject + verb, but object is superfluous.

  • commatoes

    As I got World Party down stream I will post this here.

    https://youtu.be/ar7DgREshAk

  • jesterpunk

    https://arstechnica.com/science/2017/08/un-bustable-myths-and-stubborn-minds-pro-vaccine-efforts-backfire/

    Striking at a myth with facts may only shore it up, a new study suggests.

    Researchers found that three main intervention strategies for combating anti-vaccine lies and falsehoods were ineffective at changing minds. But perhaps more concerning, they found that over-time exposure to the interventions strengthened participants’ belief in those lies and falsehoods, researchers recently reported in PLOS One. The researchers speculate that the mere repetition of a myth during the process of debunking may be enough to entrench the myth in a believer’s mind.

    “People tend to mistake repetition for truth, a phenomenon known as the ‘illusory truth’ effect,” the authors, led by Sara Pluviano at the University of Edinburgh, note. And when those myths are built into a framework of beliefs and world views—a cognitive consistency perspective—it becomes even harder to knock them out.

    The study is not the first to find that pro-vaccine strategies can backfire, but it picks apart how seemingly corrective information can be twisted in stubborn minds to support rather than refute misinformation.

    “More importantly,” the authors conclude, “our work can help public health authorities and practitioners to understand why it is necessary to adopt an appropriate strategy to influence people’s beliefs and behaviors toward vaccination, which can result in better health outcomes for the individuals themselves and for society as a whole.”

    https://media.tenor.com/images/7a940ba7f131f51a0b80dabc0fdb2774/tenor.gif

    • Hardly Ideal

      So… what the hell are we supposed to do?

      • Up In Smoke O’hontas

        Constantly repeat facts in variously sparkly ways? Interpretive dance? Hope to educate children thoroughly enough that they can identify stupid when they see it?

      • jesterpunk

        No clue, hope they dont infect anyone when they get sick with an easily preventable disease and quarantine them?

      • Rags

        The article concludes: “As for what’s next, the researchers are at a bit of a loss. ” Erk.

  • cmd resistor

    So Idiot Man Trump said this to some press folks this afternoon. I feel so much better.
    “This man will not get away with what he is doing, believe me,” the president said. “And if he utters one threat, in the form of an overt threat … or if he does anything with respect to Guam, or any place else that’s an American territory or an American ally, he will truly regret it and he will regret it fast.” He said some other shit, too, which I saw on a clip and which was painful to watch.

    • Beanz&Berryz

      He really clearly never once learned the maxim: say it once then STFU

  • Reximus

    So just to be a total OT downer, my dad passed away wednesday at 88, after a long battle with a lot of illnesses. He was a very special guy, who had a very accomplished and full life, including recently being an inductee of the Canadian Aviation Hall of Fame, because he was pretty amazing in the air force and later the aircraft biz in his beloved Newfoundland and Canada. He was modest about that but I’m not…

    This is his obit. Thank you for reading it.

    http://v1.theglobeandmail.com/servlet/story/Deaths.20170811.93391757/BDAStory/BDA/deaths

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/8da67c9ede7ac9f6aa78a3a0d4b86d87840dcd67288562293d46c06ca3894346.png

    • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

      I am so sorry for your loss.

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      I’m so sorry. My dad passed away in 2015. Missing him will blitz you now and again. Take care of yourself.

    • cmd resistor

      He sounds like a great guy and a great dad.

    • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

      I can only hope for an obit that laudatory.

    • armed_bears

      Looks like he was at all the cool points of Canadian aviation for something like 5 decades…. Congratulation, but also condolences, to you.

    • Martini Ambassador 🍸

      I am so sorry. What an amazing career and life he had.

    • jesterpunk

      Sorry for your loss.

    • Reximus

      Thank you all for those kind words

    • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

      aw, buddy- my condolences.

      Mine’s been good for 8 years almost, so i know a bit about it.

      Sounds like you have lots to be proud of him about…and to miss.

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      An amazing man and a life well lived. So sorry that he has passed.

      • Reximus

        He had 6 kids (!), and all are doing well, and my mom is 87 and is still amazing

    • valgalky23

      Peace to you and yours, a great dad you had there lucky one!

    • Ricky Gay

      Sounded like a great man. My condolences.

    • doktorzoom

      A life lived well.

      • Reximus

        Thanks, Dok. He was one of those guys that kept a daily journal, and would write when he didn’t do much “Why did I waste this day”!

    • Up In Smoke O’hontas

      So sorry for your loss. What a life he lived and a legacy to leave the world…

    • phoenix00

      Condolences from one proud Canadian to another.

    • Carpe Vagenda

      I’m so sorry. I’m glad you had him. He sounds amazing.

      I wish you peace.

      • amrak63

        What CV said.

    • SadDemInTex

      So sorry for your loss.

    • The Librarian

      His life was very impressive, so very sorry for your loss.😔

    • Reximus

      Thanks all for your kind remarks…you are all correct, and he was great fun too

    • Red Bird

      Thanks for sharing this. My Dad passed away a few months ago and he also had a long career in commercial aviation. Sorry for your loss.

      • Reximus

        Thanks

    • commatoes

      My tardy condolence for a man who was an honour to the nation I call home.

    • calliecallie

      I’m so very sorry! I hope you remember him as the guy he was, and not the guy the disease took the toll of. I think it’s really important to remember them at their prime.

    • So sorry for your loss. What a remarkable man.

  • cheetojeebus

    Why can’t these nazi assholes keep to the dark side of the moon where they belong?

    • Three Finger Salute

      Because Roger Waters doesn’t want them there either.

    • biologydave

      There’s no dark side of the moon, really. As a matter of fact it’s all dark.

    • Carpe Vagenda

      Because the lunatics are in our heads.

      Duh.

  • Marla

    Open Thread? Well…I am

    PUZZLED by Franz Ferdinand. They have a singer who obviously bases his image on Ian Curtis, the nazi-fetishist lead singer of the fuck awful Joy Division, yet hey sound like a cross between ELO and ‘Video Killed The Radio Star’ era Buggles. With a side order of Timmy Mallett to go. So this band was “cool” in their day, were they?

    ASTOUNDED by how good watching ‘My So-Called Life’ on DVD is.

    FASCINATED – LIKE A FLUFFY RABBIT CAUGHT IN THE HEADLIGHTS OF AN ONCOMING SUV DRIVEN BY A BERNIE SUPPORTER TOTALLY OFF HIS SUN-RIPENED TITS ON TOO MUCH SNORTED INSECTICIDE on how fucking stupid Donald Trump is.

    DATE-RAPE DRUGGED, HOG-TIED AND SAVAGELY BUMMED SENSELESS CHAINED TO THE CHARIOT OF THE ALL-CONQUERING EMPEROR OF POP AND PARADED PAST CHEERING CROWDS THROUGH THE STREETS OF POPOPOLIS, CAPITAL OF POPTOPIA, LIKE SOME FUCKING ANIMAL OR SOMETHING by just how many brilliant records Frank Sinatra recorded in his time.

  • Moebym Reborn

    I don’t know if any of you have heard of the Steam game Rain World, but I’ve played it, and holy hell is it difficult. It’s right at that threshold between being more frustrating than enjoyable.

    • Hardly Ideal

      If it’s an indie game, I wouldn’t be surprised. Those trend towards the HOLY SHIT end of the difficulty spectrum.

  • cmd resistor

    Oh, and the only thing the least bit hopeful I read in all the Korea stories was that there was some backchannel diplomacy going on. So when asked about it, Trump sez:
    “We don’t want to talk about backchannels,” he said.” We want to talk about a country that has misbehaved for many many years, decades actually, through numerous administrations and they didn’t want to take on the issue and I had no choice but to take it on, and I’m taking it on.” Such a jackass.

    • Marion in Savannah

      He prolly thinks “backchannels” refers to teh ghey sexxxy stuff.

  • Ricky Gay
    • Beanz&Berryz

      I first read the fragrance name as “Gin”

      • armed_bears

        Or groin, which is just…. weird.

        • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

          Smells like peen spirit.

          • Martini Ambassador 🍸

            You are ON FIRE today.

          • armed_bears

            Indeed, but ick, in this case.

          • differentdrummer

            On fire is good, it probably smells better after burning it.

        • Beanz&Berryz

          That fragrance is usually free… And a bottle of it would be really weird…

          • armed_bears

            Something to be used in bus station restrooms, I imagine.

          • Beanz&Berryz

            And coincidentally I’ll be on a bus for a couple hours tonight…

        • Ricky Gay

          Well, it’s marketed by Hormel…

      • Royal Ugly Dude

        It’s not even 5:00, and I already smell like gin.

    • Martini Ambassador 🍸

      A fragrance by Hormel? Weren’t they the canned ham people?

    • Carpe Vagenda

      I loved him so much in the Mary Tyler Moore show, and then he got saved and ceased catastrophically to be funny.

      • Ricky Gay

        I always blamed the hideous short-shorts and knee-high socks they made him wear.

    • Joe Beese

      Captain Stubing smelled like a mixture of salt water, marine diesel, and suntan lotion.

      You’re telling me they distilled that into one bottle?

      • Ricky Gay

        Well, Issac did.

      • Joe Beese

        Actually, Gavin MacLeod has always been a hero of mine.

        Why? Because he played Captain Stubing for nine goddamned years. And if they had made The Love Boat for twenty years, he would have played Captain Stubing for twenty goddamned years. (And in his continuing role as a spokesperson for Princess Cruises, in a way, he has.)

        He didn’t stage walk-offs to demand better scripts. He didn’t quit the show to seek movie roles. He drove to the studio, put on the stupid hat, said his lines, and went home.

        Here is a man who knew his limitations.

  • Ezio
    • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

      White Power Barbie!*

      *Burning Cross Ken sold separately

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      Is she trying to take the spiteful empty headed bimbo award from Michelle Malkin (her “cheerleading”is deep to behold).

    • spangled

      tammy laredo still out there trying it huh? hasn’t she humiliated herself enough?

      she must have a public shame fetish.

      • Ezio

        I’m the same age as her for heaven’s sake. It’s amazing how painfully ignorant she is about how history (and the world in general) works.

    • jesterpunk

      Doesnt she still live at home and isnt she still on her parents insurance? I dont see her signing up to join the military, funny how that works the so called patriotic right never wants to join the military they just want to complain about others in the military.

    • BadKitty904

      With still no answer on “Why?

    • Raan

      Must be a day that ends in “y”.

    • SnarkON

      Ahem, excuse me, Erika? My guess is that Gen X has been fighting in the Gulf a hell of a lot longer.

    • Angela Ruzzo

      Well fuck you, Tomi Lahren, you ignorant slut. I was very strong and fit for 50 years and I often struggled to lift bags into the overhead bins. It’s not like you have a stable base to lift from, or adequate space to get a good grip and use your back muscles properly. Jeeze, airplane aisles are only 15 to 20 inches wide! I bet Tomi can’t lift 20 lbs from the floor straight up above her head to a 6′ height without a struggle or losing her balance. What a fucking hypocrite!

    • BigCSouthside

      Wonder if Tomi has ever visited a friend in the hospital who got blown the fuck up in Iraq

  • NeoliberalBanksterCaptainHowdy

    Reposted from Not Open Thread, whoops, sorries.

    Get Off Kamala Harris’s Back

    When Barack Obama, himself a former constitutional law professor emerged on the scene in 2004, reminding the country of its best self, he was using the playbook of Barbara Jordan. In the current moment, Representative Maxine Waters, who is decidedly more phlegmatic than Jordan, has been slotted into this role. While I absolutely love the surly, fuck-deficient manner in which she keeps holding the Trump administration accountable, I am clear that there is a way that we always ask black women to do the labor of saving our democracy. Whether Jordan calling for Nixon’s impeachment, Waters holding Steve Mnuchin’s feet to the fire, or Harris grilling Trump appointees during congressional hearings, black women are always seen as the keepers of our democratic integrity. And then those on the far left use this same labor that we do to save democracy to argue that we are too deeply invested in the establishment.

    http://www.cosmopolitan.com

    And there’s more!

    ¡¡¡BINGO!!!

    Once again*, the “progressive” “true Left” is channeling . . . Lyndon LaRouche!

    We might also like to know that Ray McGovern has a longstanding relationship with the fringe-iest of the fringe: Lyndon Larouche-affiliated organizations. (If you’re not familiar with financial fraud and perpetual conspiracy peddler LaRouche, do follow the links.) When his right-wing detractors pointed out this problematic connection in 2003, McGovern reportedly claimed to know nothing about LaRouche and saw “no downside” to contributing to LaRouche media. He’s had 14 years to learn, and has apparently not done so, since he’s still nattering on about the Deep State to LaRouchePAC and in fact “broke” this story to LaRouchePac before The Nation decided to give it credibility.

    Why Is The Nation Giving Space to Tinfoil Haberdashers and Pro-Putin Propagandists?

    Posted by Aphra Behn at Friday, August 11, 2017

    http://www.shakesville.com/

    *This stuff is documented going back to the 1990s.

    • spangled

      i just don’t understand why people on the “left” see democrats starting to like a politician, and then immediately try to discredit that politician.

      i haven’t heard a peep about kamala from republicans since the sessions thing. can we not even wait until an election year to start up the circular firing squad?

      • jesterpunk

        You wont actually get an answer from them either, just some babbling about taking corporate money means they are bad.

      • NeoliberalBanksterCaptainHowdy

        Because their LaRouchie friends tell them to?

    • BadKitty904

      Aphra Behn writes surprising well for a woman who’s 377 years old. But then, she always was rather an ass-kicker…

    • Carpe Vagenda

      Oh. Wow.

      If you’d ever met Lenora Fulani, this would make so much sense, because she’s straight up Nina Turner.

    • Jenny

      Revolutionary figures of all stripes have a few things in common. Utter failure of their own personal making and the inability of their own self to turn it around; and the privilege of being able to sit around and bitch about their own plight. Ripping safety and security away from everyone else is the only way they can feel good about themselves and make them feel hopeful that their future in particular is great.

      Doesn’t matter what faction, religion, ethos, or political party. Their life sucks and goddammit you’re going to pay for it.

    • puredog

      I don’t think that first link means what you think it means. Try this:
      http://www.cosmopolitan.com/politics/a11646941/kamala-harris-criticism-sanders-left/

    • weejee

      I miss the LaRouchers and the hare krishnas at the airports. TSA just doesn’t fill that void.

  • bbayliss
  • BadKitty904

    Good of them to speak for the entire continent of Europe.

    Speaking for the entire continent of North America, I say , “Fuck that noise.”

  • Baconzgood

    I called my Dad early this week to wish him a happy birthday. He was born August 6th 1945 (for you history buffs that’s the same day as the Hiroshima bomb was dropped).

    We don’t get along. He never played catch with me, I spent more time walking the dog or hanging around the ice rink than at his house, he’d even yell at me for hours about “slouching” every other weekend. In fact he has NEVER called me on my birthday/Christmas/Easter/etc. So I called him. Now he wants us to hang out. Because he’s old, not in good health, and is looking to make amends before he gets planted in the soil.

    So am I a bad person for not ever forgiving him? I mean I spent a lot of money in therapy because of him.

    Forgive? Or stick to my guns (a pride he instilled in me)?

    • Skeptical_thinker

      Can’t advise you what to do. What do you think you need 20 years from now?

      • Baconzgood

        A shoe box full of $20s

        • Shanzgood

          What was that other thing you wanted?

          • Baconzgood

            A wife. But I’ll doubt I’ll ever have either.

            (Edit).

            I thought about it. Montreal Canadian’s season tickets and mag wheels. That’d kick ass.

          • OutOfOrbit

            Woooo

          • Shanzgood

            Oy

    • TJ Barke
      • Baconzgood

        I’m more of an Operation Ivy fan.

        • TJ Barke

          Cuz yooz an oldz.

    • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

      my dad was FAR from perfect…but i still remember the night before graduating college in chicago, he sent me mom, friend, and gf home from dinner so we could have a drink together.

      And I remember standing on the corner on the way back to the hotel and forgiving him for all that stuff.

      The hardest part about getting older is realizing they’re are people too. He may feel as bad about it as you do.

      Maybe: We forgive when we can?’

      I dunno.

    • NeoliberalBanksterCaptainHowdy

      The question is: is this a good thing to do or not? Meaning, is it safe or healthful or meaningful for you?

      I had a similar thing with a parent (MIA with literally no contact for almost 40 years, after they dumped me on the other abusive psychotic parent) and the outcome was not squishy-feelgood.

    • SnarkON

      Do whatever will make you feel whole once he’s dead.

      • Baconzgood

        It will make me sound like a bad Baconz. But honestly…I’d piss on his grave. I feel that would be therapeutic and give me closure.

        Baconzbad.

        • SnarkON

          No snark: I think that’s a perfectly acceptable option.

        • Claire

          My mother and I were estranged until she died. I don’t regret it for a minute. She was toxic right up until the end. I know that’s not the socially acceptable way to feel, but just because someone’s going to die eventually doesn’t mean you have to let them in past your comfort zone while they’re still alive.

          Everyone dies. Ted Bundy died and probably no one was all that sorry. Your dad has lived his live and made his choices; you don’t have to give more of your life than you want to because time has moved forward and your dad is pre-dead now.

          • Baconzgood

            He died 15 years ago to me. Funny thing is he has always been very pius and would have become a priest if it wasn’t for the vow of celibacy.

            Which means he was a huge hypo…well Jesus forgives so I don’t have to.

          • Claire

            Funny how it’s always the Christians who are the least Christlike.

            People mean well, but I think they don’t always understand that sometimes the world is a safer place without your parents in it. I didn’t answer my phone for years because it might be my mother calling; after she died it took me a good 18 months before my hands stopped shaking every time the phone rang. If you feel like hanging out with him might lead to something good, do it, but if you don’t? Don’t, and don’t feel bad. This isn’t a Shirley Jackson novel – you don’t have to offer yourself up for misery on the altar of social propriety.

          • Baconzgood

            What you’ve done to the least of my brothers you’ve done to me and what not.

        • OutOfOrbit

          that can be done after he’s in ground

    • puredog

      If you forgive him, you will also be better than he. You’ll feel better, the wounds won’t fester, and win-win. Also, in the very long view, you are much more likely to regret NOT forgiving him than you are ever going to regret actually forgiving him.

    • biologydave

      Personally, I forgave my POS father. He sucked all my life until he was diagnosed with cancer at 45 and he had a life change. When I could separate the father from the man, I gained a new respect for him. He died at 51 and that was 26 years ago. There are times I actually miss him, but I never forgot what a prick he was, but life gave me a perspective of how not to hold grudges and accept things.

      • Baconzgood

        The problem I have is my father only gave me 3 things
        1) my piercing blue eyes
        2)my sense of humor
        3)my crushing feeling of inadequatecy

    • BadKitty904

      My kibble’s worth:

      The past cannot be changed and your Dad will soon be gone. To me, the question to answer, in re: your query above, is how will whatever you decide make you feel 5 years from now, 10 years from now, 15 years from now, etc.

      You must do what you think will be best for you in the long run, Baconz.

    • Shanzgood

      I think you should give him a chance.

      • Baconzgood

        I gave him a plethora of chances. Like 30 years of chances. Now he’s at the end I’m supposed to say “your forgiven”? He was never there when I asked. He doesn’t even know my birthday. It’s not like Dec 30th is a hard day to remember.

        • Shanzgood

          You don’t have to go into it thinking you HAVE to forgive him. Just give him the chance to try to redeem himself a bit. If he really can’t, even close to the end, then you’ll know you were right. But you’ll also know you tried. And who knows, maybe something good will come of it.

          • Baconzgood

            Many times. Now he wants to be forgiven? I tried for decades begging we can have a relationship, now he wants to try for months? No. That is NOT how it works. Being a father to an only son doesn’t begin at 70. It is lasting a whole life. I’d do it for my boys.

          • Shanzgood

            Maybe he wasn’t ready. Or maybe he was, but was too scared. You won’t know if you don’t talk to him. A lot of things can happen from talking for even just a few months.

          • Baconzgood

            Well he blew his chance. Because now he can’t get it. Maybe he should have thought of that.

          • Shanzgood

            You’re the one with the chance now. You might not get another.

    • Incoming Ham

      My father was an abusive drunk who now expects me to take care of him in his old age. No.

      I don’t forgive 17 years of misery.

      It’s a personal choice. Will you regret not forgiving him later?

      • Baconzgood

        I like your name. And your point (to a lesser extent)

    • Joe Beese

      Forgiveness is a gift you give yourself.

      • Baconzgood

        Is that like “living good is the best revenge”? I’m not an idealist. In fact I’m a petty petty man.

    • Beanz&Berryz

      It’s a sliding scale… (1) some amount of ratfuckery is too much to forgive, some amounts are fine to let slide, though might take some work… and (2) sometimes a former dick isn’t any longer so much a dick so that can take you back to (1) to decide if the only issue is the old ratfuckery… But other times, a former dick is still a dick and even though you can still go back to (1), dicks are no fun… particularly if they’ve always been a dick…

    • Elendira

      You can forgive, but you never have to forgot.

      Without going into details. it seems that you have and had real issues with him and his parenting.

      I am of the opinion, that everybody deserves a second chance, but it doesn’t necessarily have to be around me either.

      If you are uncomfortable, than don’t.

      If you are having second guesses, at least hear him out. Then make a decision.

      unfortunately you have to make the choice yourself — make one that is the best for YOU.

      • The Militant Homosexual Agenda

        Yes. Forgiveness just means moving on. It does not mean that what happened was OK.

    • J. David Nichols

      UM, SERIOUSLY! This is a no brainer! Do what every major religion and philosophy would tell you to do. What would Buddah do? Don’t be a dick, I always say.

      • Baconzgood

        Buddha wouldn’t do nothing. He’s being reincarnated.

    • Jenny

      You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do.

      He may be a total tool still or he may eventually apologize for being a shitty dad.

      You might want to think about what you need for closure and finally put it all behind you. That you called him says there’s still something you need.

      • Baconzgood

        I’m not accepting his apology (or at least I don’t want to).

        • Shanzgood

          That’s because you’re a stubborn Mick.

          • Baconzgood

            He raised me.

        • Jenny

          When he is gone who will take his place? There has to be some one or something who has to stand in for that turmoil.

          You’re carrying this torch of unresolved angst. It isn’t your fault he didn’t make time for you. He might never be the dad you desperately wanted. Can you accept him as a friend or acquaintance? If the answer is no, then no more contact. There’s nothing for you there.

    • OutOfOrbit

      1) he may have had his own mental problems
      2) if you don’t want to give him a chance now and you don’t do it, then maybe change your mind 10 years from now, it will suck to be you
      3) if you do give him a chance now & wish you hadn’t, you’ll get over it someday

      • Baconzgood

        The point is since I was 15 I tried. That’s decades. Now he is feeling bad that he didn’t try? (True fact if I didn’t call him on his birthday he would have never called me up- im an afterthought). Now he expects me to kiss his butt. For what? An inherentance? I never wanted his money or stuff. I just wanted him to like hanging out with me once. In fact I could receive his entire estate tomorrow and I’d give it away to a charity.

        • OutOfOrbit

          then forget him, and if/when you do think of him, drop it & think about anything else

    • The Militant Homosexual Agenda

      I had the same situation. My dad had NOTHING to do with me and we lived in the same house. We would go for days and he would not speak a single word to me. After mom died he suddenly wanted to form some kind of relationship. He knew nothing about me or my life. He was a complete stranger to me. He’d leave voice mails cussing me out for not respecting him. Fuck him. I didn’t have any contact with him his last four years of life and I don’t regret it. It wasn’t healthy for me to interact with him. That’s just my experience. All I can say is do what is most healthy for you.

    • SayItWithWookies

      Does he ask you to hang out with him? If so, you could ask him why you should bother after the shitty way he treated you. Make it damned uncomfortable for him — don’t get mad, just make him relive how you were treated, in some detail if possible. See how he reacts.

      My experience with people like your father (I think — I could be wrong) is that they don’t change, and if you do hang out with him he’s going to be the same shitty person he was. But if you put him through the wringer (“Remember that time I came home from little league and got three RBIs and was so proud and all you could do was yell at me for getting a B in math?”) and if he’s willing to be a real person and talk about it, then it might be worth it. I wouldn’t expect him to be different from what he was, but it might be interesting to let him know what it was like to be you.

  • jesterpunk

    I thought Jared already solved the Middle East when he went over the first time? Why does he need to go back?

    https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/post-politics/wp/2017/08/11/trump-sends-son-in-law-jared-kushner-other-top-aides-on-mideast-peace-mission-after-spate-of-violence/?utm_term=.3e57277db588

    Presidential son-in-law and adviser Jared Kushner and two other top White House aides will soon visit Israel, the West Bank and several Arab capitals to explore prospects for Mideast peace negotiations now that a period of unrest has subsided, a White House official said Friday.

    The trip, spanning several days later this month, is meant to show continued U.S. commitment despite the weeks-long spate of violence and political upheaval in Jerusalem and Jordan this summer, which had threatened to boil over into open conflict.

    President Trump remains optimistic about a deal resolving the decades-long conflict between Israel and the Palestinians, and he is seeking advice and support among Arab states Jordan, Saudi Arabia, the United Arab Emirates, Egypt and Qatar, said the senior official. The official requested anonymity to describe the evolving diplomacy.

    • SnarkON

      Say, let’s send him to North Korea next.

      • Claire

        Right? If he can bring peace to the Middle East then dealing with North Korea should be a snap.

    • Rags

      “Decades long”? Bwahahahahaha!

  • The Librarian

    Well, this week seemed like a nothing burger: https://harpers.org/blog/2017/08/weekly-review-26/

    • SnarkON

      That is a fantastic piece of writing. Short, subversively hilarious in parts, and poetic.

      • The Librarian

        I read it every week. It’s hard not to laugh and cry at the same time.

  • BAD IDEA WHEN YOU’RE IN NORTH CAROLINA #23,453:
    Dress Up Like a Scary Bigfoot and Run Around in the Woods Reciting Bigfoot Prayers

    aka A Good Way to Get Your Ass Shot

    http://www.bbc.com/news/world-us-canada-40892336

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/3f49c291f57bfd8726c8a95322a20a9cf59d148ef9260dbc816b4a7708583a23.jpg

    BIGFOOT FURRY FAN: A REAL THING

    • BadKitty904

      In August? Wtf?

      • The Militant Homosexual Agenda

        One does not wear Big Foot costumes until AFTER Labor Day. It just isn’t done. How gauche!

        • BadKitty904

          And smelly!

    • Elvis Causticfellow

      Looks like all that fungus on Bannon’s face is getting out of control.

  • Me not sure

    I’ve been hearing advertisements for a company that sells sheets over the internet called Boll and Branch claiming that their sheets are “award winning”. Seriously who the fuck gives out sheet awards? Sheeties?
    “I’d like to thank the academy…”

    • weejee

      Wamsutta libel!!!

    • dlemex

      Maybe the KKK nominated various sheet manufacturers and gave the whitest sheets an award.

    • Angela Ruzzo

      Actually, the hotel industry gives out awards for these things. I just bought sateen sheets from Martex, which primarily sells to the hotel market, and they were also advertised as “award winning.” Indeed, they are very fine sheets, 400 thread count, I got them from Overstock.com.

      • Me not sure

        Live and learn.

    • Three Finger Salute

      “Seriously who the fuck gives out sheet awards?”

      David Duke?

    • The Militant Homosexual Agenda

      After going on a Princess Cruise, I was bombarded with emails selling THEIR own brand of sheets. Which were pretty awesome but also pretty expensive.

  • Angela Ruzzo

    Just FYI for those of you who can’t get to sleep during the Age Of Trump without chemical enhancement: It is very difficult to find good Rosé wine in central Missouri, but yesterday I bought a bottle of “A by Acacia” Dry Rosé from California, and it is good. Not superb, and not as good as French Rosé, but definitely drinkable.

    • The Militant Homosexual Agenda

      OT, but are you renting any rooms to the eclipse? I could pay with cases of Rosé.

      • Angela Ruzzo

        You’re too late, my spare room is full of guests for the eclipse. The sofa is free, however, if you don’t mind 2 people smoking and 2 cats. It’s a very comfortable sofa.

        • The Militant Homosexual Agenda

          Two cats are a luxury but just had my five year anniversary of becoming a nonsmoker after a 30 year, 2 pack a day habit. Ugh, I just can’t stand the smell of it! But thanks! Actually, I’m only 3 hours away. We are driving to a spot just north of Columbia.

          • Angela Ruzzo

            Congratulations on your five-year anniversary! I love smoking, I have no intention of quitting, although I lie to my doctor and told her I quit 3 years ago because I was tired of her bitching about it. I live 5 miles north of Columbia. Are you going to Finger Lakes State Park? It’s very nice there.

          • The Militant Homosexual Agenda

            Hadn’t looked into that. Just want a place that isn’t overrun.

          • Angela Ruzzo

            That could be hard to find, as this is a University town and the students will all be coming back either that week or the next week. Finger Lakes State Park is very nice, usually quite empty except for locals with ATVs, although this year it might be crowded. You could maybe find a B&B in Rocheport, right on the Missouri River 12 miles west of Columbia, where the view of the eclipse over the River should be phenomenal. If you come with an RV you could park in front of my house.
            https://mostateparks.com/park/finger-lakes-state-park

          • Persistent Demme

            My brother has smoked for years, and I’m a nonsmoker.
            I know that vaping has a bad rap, and makes him look like a douchebag, (he doesn’t care).
            But it sure is great to have a long conversation with him without all the smoking breaks, and not smelling like an ashtray.

          • The Militant Homosexual Agenda

            E-cigs are how I quit. I kept one next to the ashtray and picked it up now and again instead of lighting up. After about six months I realized I was using it more than half the time. At that point I knew I could do it. After another six months I had gradually stopped using the e-cig and haven’t missed it one bit. The freedom is amazing!

    • Carpe Vagenda

      Dude. Lab rosé. Comes in boxes. We got into the rosé trend early when we were on a farm-to-table tour of the finger lakes, and the only not horribly expensive rosé the beleaguered husband has cottoned to is the twenty dollar a three liter box portuguese stuff.

      Which, parenthetically, makes a terrific marinade for chicken if you add a bottle of ginger beer.

      • Angela Ruzzo

        I’d love to try it, but rosé is just not popular in my little town, and only one store sells any of it, and they do not have Lab rosé. They used to carry Simi rosé from California, which was not bad, but they have trouble getting more than a couple of cases once a year for reasons I do not understand.

        First rosé I ever drank was 40 years ago, and it was French – Moc Baril label. So good I thought I had died and gone to heaven. But I can’t get it anywhere now. I even emailed the vinyard and the closest place they sell it is in Wisconsin. I’m not driving to Wisconsin to buy wine.

        I find that Gallo White Zinfandel, while not very drinkable, makes a very good marinade.

    • Suse

      I love a good dry rosé. My favorite is the French Bandol brands.

      • Angela Ruzzo

        After you’ve had French rosé there is nothing that can compare with it. So I live with pale copies, alas. If you can find some Moc Baril Rosé d’Anjou, give it a try, but it’s hard to find.

  • La forza del resistino

    Trump now: I’m not ruling out a military option for Venezuela
    even Zombie Napoleon says Whoa bro.

    • weejee

      So Dodger Donnie is gonna bring back the draft?

      • BadKitty904

        Is it possible to develop brain spurs?

    • spangled

      look, we have to go to war with someone (for the sweet poll numbers).

      i thought it was gonna be north korea or iran, but venezuela could be a good dark horse candidate for the ideological drama of it all.

      • La forza del resistino

        when his staff couldn’t help him find NK or Iran on a map, they’ll try their luck with pointing out Venezuela’s whereabouts.

        • dlemex

          Since they think all brown people speaking Spanish are Mexicans, I better get ready because they may end up targeting us, again… (as usual?!?)

        • Rags

          “It’s not the second planet from the sun?”

      • Three Finger Salute

        Or Mexico, if NAFTA turns out to be a “dumb deal” that he can’t “study.”

        https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/f3a06f359dc7b56dba779f45ea416edecd2ef5d0d1f461b073e30386fdafd837.png

        Had a dream last night that NAFTA talks went bad because Trump was mad that they took place in a neutral zone (Switzerland, literally the most neutral place on the planet) instead of at Mar-a-Lago, and poor Trudeau had to patch things up by inviting Trump and Peña-Nieto to a Wrestlemania in Toronto because Trump only wants negotiations done on “his turf and his terms.” They were each accompanied into the ring by two “WWE ambassadors” from their native countries and/or cultural backgrounds. Peña-Nieto had Alberto del Rio and Rey Mysterio at his side; Trudeau had Chris Jericho and Shawn Michaels (to a stealth, self-descriptive entrance-music mashup of “Break the Walls Down” and “Sexy Boy”), and Trump (the perpetual heel) entered with Paul Heyman and Brock Lesnar as the crowd chanted “You Suck.”

        It was supposed to be a scripted skit where Heyman, as Trump’s “PR guy,” annoys the other two leaders and their “ambassadors,” such as by calling Trudeau a “drama teacher from Winnipeg” and Jericho (famous for the “I’m from Winnipeg, you moron” line) says “He’s from Montréal, you deplorable!” But Donnie went off-script because he legitimately is certifiable, started yelling into the mic that Trudeau betrayed him personally (how, nobody really knew), and tried to clothesline him like he was a walking CBC logo or something. Trudeau, out of pure instinct, defended himself and gave a solid right hook to Trump, who got TKO’ed. Some Russian thugs then got into the ring who wanted Justin’s head at that point, so he and the others (including the wrestlers, who Dementia Donnie had forgotten were play-acting) had to make a break for it and run off into exile.

        And this is how world wars break out.

    • Notreelyhelping

      Jesus. Something must be about to drop.

      • J. David Nichols

        Nostra-fucking-domus right there. It’s gonna be YOOOGE!

    • jesterpunk

      For what?

      • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

        Apparently we can solve poverty by bombing it.

      • La forza del resistino

        regime change? I’ll go with screwing with their oil markets.

        • jesterpunk

          Did his golf courses run out of ketchup for his well done Trump steaks or something?

          • h4rr4r

            People actually voted for a guy who eats well done steak with ketchup. Anyone who knows that and voted for him is beyond my comprehension.

        • h4rr4r

          Driving the price of oil up would be a big favor to Putin.

  • weejee
    • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

      Wouldn’t it work better in the water?

      • weejee

        Well it does help the cooling.

        • BadKitty904

          And makes HELLA cake batter.

    • gratuitous

      Maybe the possibility of their boat being disabled is something they did Nazi coming.

      • SnarkON

        I’d laugh, but two wrongs don’t make a Reich.

    • The Militant Homosexual Agenda

      Jesus! How many D batteries does that thing take? Oh, wait! That’s a motor boat.

  • Ezio

    Rant related to this story: I hate it when people say “not tolerating Nazis makes you just as bad as they are”. Screw that. Excuse me for not serving tea and biscotti for people who believe every person not like them needs to be exterminated. Just because they have “free speech” doesn’t mean they can’t be called on their toxic nonsense.

    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      APANITF!…

    • spangled

      me, being murdered – “please…stop killing me”

      murderer – “wow, do you not respect my right to murder you? you fascist, you’re basically a murderer too”

    • Carpe Vagenda

      Essentially the same argument as “two consenting adults having sex I don’t approve of in private is the same as child molestation or drooling predators fucking dogs, which I only approve of if a Republican Christian is caught doing it.”

      It isn’t. Thanks for playing.

      • The Militant Homosexual Agenda

        When, at the mention of gay marriage, the first place a person’s mind goes to is bestiality you have to question who the pervert really is.

    • SnarkON

      The definition of “tolerance” in a political context is, “You won’t be jailed or killed for speaking your mind.” We can support a person or group’s right to free speech while still condemning what they say. “Tolerance” does not mean “I have to accept, respect or even listen to your viewpoint.”

    • BadKitty904

      Some things are so egregiously wrong/bad/evil that they cannot be tolerated. My Granddad “tolerated” Nazis with a Bristol Type 156 Beaufighter. And helped correct that problem.

    • biologydave

      We fought an entire war against this ideology. What was the point?? Did all those people in the ETO simply fight and die because it was boring back home? Fuck that. Nazis suck.

  • Toomush_Inferesistance

    Jeezuz! donald just talked about a “military solution” in Venezuela!….

  • Mavenmaven

    Ship Nazis? No ship for you!

  • Suse

    Speaking of Nazis, this is pretty hilarious (yet frightening): ‘Obesity should not be tolerated’: Neo-Nazi website orders fat, badly dressed readers to get ‘sexy’ http://www.rawstory.com/2017/08/obesity-should-not-be-tolerated-neo-nazi-website-orders-fat-badly-dressed-readers-to-get-sexy/

    • BadKitty904

      This would’ve been bad news for Hermann Goering.

      • RMKH

        Bad news for most of them, methinks.

        • Suse

          Yeah, see the “people” above with the Confed flags.

          • RMKH

            You are so charitable, calling them people, even if you used quotes.

    • Joe Beese

      One of the tenets of National Socialism is “No fat chicks”.

    • Me not sure
      • Suse

        Ha!

    • amrak63

      Once again: “I’m too sexy for my brownshirt, too sexy for my brownshirt, so sexy it hurrrrts…”

  • BigBoppa ~ Résistent

    Captain Nemo had a better way of doing this.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=84QceTOO8v4

  • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

    President Donald Trump will speak by phone with Chinese President Xi Jinping Friday night about North Korea, he told reporters.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/bbac20d22dc8ac1591946736cbf96cc01c7def651876cb33a1aec962375e11f4.jpg

    http://www.cnn.com/2017/08/11/politics/trump-xi-north-korea/index.html

    • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

      So you figure China will cripple our economy by noonish?

  • memzilla Ω
    • Royal Ugly Dude

      I never have any leftover bread, thanks to my +2 vorpal breadknife.

    • Claire

      I’m chaotic neutral, tending toward neutral evil when I’m being lazy. I wonder if this qualifies me for a position at the White House.

    • TJ Barke

      I guess I’m neutral evil…

      • TJ Barke

        Or chaotic neutral.

      • Joe Beese

        Same here. I never knew it though.

    • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

      heyyyY!

      Why is the twist and tuck chaotic neutral and just tucking is neutral evil?!??!

      I blame this on the corporate DNC, argle bargle argle

    • BigBoppa ~ Résistent

      They missed “eat the whole loaf at one sitting so it ‘doesn’t go bad’ then spend the rest of the day hating yourself”.

    • Angela Ruzzo

      My mother had a bread box. So did my grandmother. But bread boxes seem to have disappeared from American culture. I used to use the “lawful neutral” method and reuse the bag clip before I became (regretfully) gluten intolerant and had to give up bread.

    • guppy06

      “Twist and tuck” sounds like something you’d do while cross-dressing.

    • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

      Hmmm. I twist but instea of tucking I do this: https://youtu.be/0qpQveRtkQk. So some kind of neutral.

      • Persistent Demme

        I’m a twist and tuck gal myself, but I’m gonna try this.

  • Angela Ruzzo

    I watched a good documentary on Netflix last night called “Queen Mimi” about an 88-yr-old homeless woman in Los Angeles who lived for 17 years in a laundromat. It was fascinating, and Mimi was fascinating, and I recommend it. But while I was watching it I thought “Homeless people don’t get to vote because they don’t have a permanent address.” I hadn’t thought about the voting aspect before. Why shouldn’t homeless people vote, aren’t they citizens too? Hush, don’t tell anyone or the Republicans will make a stink about it.

    • SnarkON

      Even better, WHY THE FUCK DO WE EVEN TOLERATE HOMELESSNESS IN THE WEALTHIEST FUCKING COUNTRY IN THE HISTORY OF HUMAN FUCKING CIVILIZATION??? Ahem, sorry.

      • Angela Ruzzo

        I’m with you. It infuriates me. What infuriates me even more is the middle-class white people I know who see a homeless person and they go off on them, telling them to “get a job and pull themselves up by their bootstraps like I did.” Even worse are the ones who firmly believe that everyone they see asking for money at highway exits actually lives in a mansion and drives a Lamborghini and is making more money than they do. Like people would stand in the 20 degree weather at highway exits for 12 hours holding a cardboard sign if they didn’t have to. Like there are jobs for unskilled people in America today. Like if that was how you could get rich, everyone would do it. Holy shit.

        I was homeless myself for one week after Hurricane Katrina. And I am an incredibly intelligent and highly educated and extremely skilled person. Still, it happened to me. It can happen to anyone, which is something the documentary goes out of its way to make a point of.

        • Villago Delenda Est

          Craig T. Nelson was on food stamps and welfare, and says the government didn’t do anything to help him.

        • Persistent Demme

          I have taught English to adults from other countries.
          One of my students could not understand why she was stopped from giving some of her food, (she was at an outdoor restaurant), to a homeless person she saw nearby.
          “But she was hungry, and I had food. Why couldn’t I give her some?” she protested.
          It just seemed like common courtesy to her.
          (I can’t remember what country she was from.)
          What a shame.

          • Angela Ruzzo

            I once stopped at a McDonald’s and ordered a plain hamburger and fries, and when I opened the bag after driving for half a block I had a cheeseburger, onion rings and an apple pie, none of which I wanted. 10 seconds later I saw a homeless person at a highway entrance, so I gave him my unwanted food. 10 seconds later a cop stopped me and tried to arrest me for “blocking traffic.” I told the cop, politely and diplomatically, while quoting the Bible, to go to go hell. He apologized and I didn’t get ticketed. What the fuck??!!

    • The Militant Homosexual Agenda

      As a person recovering from chronic homelessness I advocate for this issue. In Illinois all you need to list as an address is a street intersection! Example: ”I am living in my car and this is normally where I park it.” You qualify for a voter’s registration card! Unfortunately, it’s not widely known about.

      • Angela Ruzzo

        I hope you continue to recover from homelessness, and I am glad to hear that Illinois has a process to allow you to vote. Most people I know are 3 house payments away from homelessness, and they refuse to admit it.

  • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef
  • Carpe Vagenda

    I heart Lauren Duca.

    More than ever, our cultural conversation is taking place on Twitter and Facebook — and yet, women who are bullied online are told to leave those spaces or deal with it. Worse still, talking about this harassment is typically met with aggression: It’s not uncommon for those who share their experiences to receive a new deluge of threats, often while they are accused of trying to get attention. I’m sick of talking about this horrifying reality like we’re litigating the dynamics of a middle school lunchroom. The public forum is increasingly being conducted online, and it’s about time we acknowledge that social media is a place where women are systematically silenced.

    Unfortunately, this requires me to talk about Martin Shkreli. Last week, before being convicted of fraud, the so-called “Pharma Bro” released a Facebook video, announcing, “Trial’s over tomorrow, bitches. Then if I’m acquitted, I get to f*ck Lauren Duca.”

    I responded with a single tweet, along with a screenshot of an email from a reporter asking for comment: “Here’s my statement on Martin Shkreli: I would (still) rather eat my own organs. So much as touch me, and I’ll gladly chop off one of yours.”…

    • The Militant Homosexual Agenda

      I recall a line by Darlene from ”Rosanne”…”Whatever part of you touches me you’re not getting back!”

    • Three Finger Salute

      Dear UN:

      Please send in weapons inspectors to forcibly dismantle Twitter and Facebook as weapons of psychological destruction.

      Thank you,
      A Member of Civilized Society

      • Carpe Vagenda

        Have you noticed how many truly shitty things in the world sprang from Harvard?

  • The Militant Homosexual Agenda
    • jesterpunk

      That might be against a few treaties for dumping toxic waste into international waters.

    • SnarkON

      They are definitely the superior race.

      • Msgr_MΩment

        They’re moving to a faster pace.

        • Ωbjectifier

          I’d like to punch them in the face.

  • Anna Rompage

    A terrorist organization based out of Afghanistan attacks the US, so we invade Iraq…

    North Korea threatens to lob missiles off the coast of Guam, and Donny no nuts threatens to do military on Venezuela…

    Is it just me, or am I’m starting to see a pattern here.

    • jesterpunk
      • Persistent Demme

        …and her speeches!
        Protest votes have consequences.

    • Suse

      Mueller investigation —> Let’s start a war.

      • The Militant Homosexual Agenda

        Squirrel? Mushroom cloud? What’s the diff?

      • BadKitty904

        Literally.

    • ghastly_fop

      We generally attack those who pose little to no threat. The only reason that R’s are upset is that NK has nukes. That and no oil.

    • The Militant Homosexual Agenda

      And the vast majority of that terrorist organization were from Saudi Arabia, so suck SA’s dick and demonize other Muslim countries instead.

    • Is there oil in Afghanistan or North Korea? Can only invade places with oil… like… Canada… Oh. Shit.

  • Good_Gawd_Yall

    All right, wonkers, which one of you created this? officialmikepence.com It HAD to be one of us!

    • The Militant Homosexual Agenda

      If you click “are you a homosexual” it immediately sends you to hell.com!

  • La forza del resistino

    NBC did a thing on PA voters. Some love DJT cuz he doesn’t take any crap. Some didn’t like him cuz he doesn’t give a shit. They then broke for a Charmin 4 ply commercial. Welcome to all anal America.

  • Ninja0980

    https://twitter.com/Fired4Truth/status/896105320350588928
    You knew this asshole was going to crawl out from his rock soon enough to be the right wing lecture tour.

    • biologydave

      Gonna get the most from that 15 minutes of fame

      • spangled

        He’s going to make a million dollars off of speeches/books about how women are biologically inferior, then he’s going to go slightly too far (like a “women love being raped” comment) and be forced to rebrand.

        Then he’ll come back in ten years as something worse – that’s the milo/cernovich path to fame.

    • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

      T-shirt, check. Hoodie, check. Girlfriend, online.

      • Suse

        Girlfriend, vinyl. FIFY.

      • jesterpunk

        She is in Canada, no you wouldn’t know her she is shy and doesnt go outside.

    • jesterpunk
    • specialcircumstances

      I don’t think he ever crawled under it to begin with…

    • Catstro

      If this were a just world, Ada Lovelace would use Obama’s time machine to venture to the future and kick this techbro’s butt

      • Villago Delenda Est

        Grace Hopper would join her.

    • TootsStansbury

      Google fired you because you are a sexist asshole and you are an at will worker and have no recourse. Suck it up.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        Google fired him because he’s the font of a hostile workplace environment, and doesn’t get how to be a team player.

    • guppy06

      Most of Real America would get fired just for coming to work dressed like that.

    • SayItWithWookies

      His writing is so tedious, I can’t imagine how anyone read through enough of it to fire him.

    • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

      Dude, you wrote your screed on company time. That alone is gonna get you turfed.

    • The Militant Homosexual Agenda

      You were fired from Google because you are an ASSHOLE! Move on.

  • Carpe Vagenda
    • Msgr_MΩment

      Adam and Chenyao, not Adam and Steve.

    • BadKitty904

      That’s kinda hot, actually…

      • Carpe Vagenda

        I was just saying, this is the Captain America/H50 crossover you didn’t know you needed.

        • BadKitty904

          I’ll be in their bunk.

  • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

    prepare to hear about this from out Leftier-than-thou crowd:

    The Nation has published an incomprehensible conspiracy theory about the DNC hack that absolves our Russian friends of any involvement.

    (the Nation article apparently argues it was an “inside job.”

    http://digbysblog.blogspot.com/2017/08/kerning-experts-go-digital.html

    • TJ Barke

      Hey lefter than thou fuckers, I’m lefter than you and I understand that Russia is a fucking threat to leftism.

      • Elvis Causticfellow

        But if you were truly left, you’d understand that the United States is so heinous that its enemies are ipso facto your friends

        • Anna Rompage

          Yes, our enemies such as Germany, France, and all the northern Scandinavian countries

        • Carpe Vagenda

          and you’d be cashing reactionary checks.

          • guppy06

            Around here we call those kinds of checks “rubber.”

    • h4rr4r

      Полезный идиот

    • Joe Beese

      Get Greenwald on the phone! Now!

      • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

        i’m telling you – we’ll be hearing about here inside of a week.

    • spangled

      …..do these “far left” people understand that Russia is not a communist state anymore? It’s essentially a super religious and conservative state?

      Why carry so much water for them it is truly baffling.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        Even when it was a nominally communist state, the old patterns reasserted themselves. The Nomenklatura? Same family names as the boyars.

    • Carpe Vagenda

      I feel so bad for Digby. A few of the real whackjobs wrote for her before they lost their fucking minds. And she was always the best of us.

    • Anna Rompage

      Seeing that the DNC supposedly refused to let the FBI inspect their servers, how exactly did this person come across this information?

      • jesterpunk

        Well the FBI never actually asked for access and instead went by the forensic security firm the DNC hired. Comey even said that was ok because that firm is pretty good at their jobs.

        https://www.buzzfeed.com/alimwatkins/the-fbi-never-asked-for-access-to-hacked-computer-servers?utm_term=.cw74NQQya#.ma4Rzyyp7

        “The DNC had several meetings with representatives of the FBI’s Cyber Division and its Washington (DC) Field Office, the Department of Justice’s National Security Division, and U.S. Attorney’s Offices, and it responded to a variety of requests for cooperation, but the FBI never requested access to the DNC’s computer servers,” Eric Walker, the DNC’s deputy communications director, told BuzzFeed News in an email.

        The FBI has instead relied on computer forensics from a third-party tech security company, CrowdStrike, which first determined in May of last year that the DNC’s servers had been infiltrated by Russia-linked hackers, the U.S. intelligence official told BuzzFeed News.

        “CrowdStrike is pretty good. There’s no reason to believe that anything that they have concluded is not accurate,” the intelligence official said, adding they were confident Russia was behind the widespread hacks.

    • Royal Ugly Dude

      The Nation is not a reliable source for news about Russia.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        This. They suck Russian dick like it was made of borscht.

    • Gigglesnort

      The Nation has a bit of a Russia problem. The editor’s husband is Stephen F. Cohen, who has been a Russian apologist like, for decades. Nothing the Russkies have ever done has gotten him off this.

    • NeoliberalBanksterCaptainHowdy

      Sourced from LaRouchies, I shit you not, I posted this downthread. When I say LWNJs are the puppets of RWNJs, I’m serious.

      http://www.shakesville.com/2017/08/why-is-nation-giving-space-to-tinfoil.html

  • Msgr_MΩment

    Stillers v Jynts on the NFL Network tonight!
    Life has meaning again.

  • Lyly Sirivong

    Identitarians originate from France and under the guise of defending regional identities (Briton, Alsatian, Corsican, etc), they attack immigrants, jews, muslims, etc…

    • Ezio

      The ironic thing is these people claim that they hate “identity politics”.

      • The Militant Homosexual Agenda

        Alanis Morissette was going to put that in her lyrics but couldn’t make it rhyme.

        • TootsStansbury

          Isn’t it moronic, dontcha think?

          • Three Finger Salute

            Unfortunately, there’s identitarians in Canada too. Not just the usual Quebec Nationalist sorts, but a general white-nationalist club that’s unfortunately steadily growing, in response to refugee resettlement (and in particular, the refugees who flee the U.S. fearing Hair Dump-and-Furor’s deportation squads).

            They want Justin Trudeau and his whole family dead as “traitors.” Some even believe he’s secretly Jewish on top of being secretly Muslim (yeah, how that works out I’ll never know), is trying to have Canada join the E.U. at Merkel’s behest, and is trying to “Coudenhove-Kalergi” Canada to turn it into a “post-national mud race” (he never said “post-national” in the Guardian interview; he said post-nationalist — or as he also said, “a Canadian is a Canadian is a Canadian”). They think his brother Sacha is an agent of the ayatollah and is in on the “Islamization campaign,” simply because he made a TV documentary or two for Press TV. They even believe that the deceased brother, Michel, found out about this 20 years ago, and that the other two brothers were complicit in snuffing him out. They’ve threatened the rookie MP who introduced the nonbinding motion to create a commission to study Islamophobia (not a “blasphemy law” as the paranoiacs claimed) so much that she is now under 24/7 police protection, and at one point considered resigning from Parliament because she feared for her life.

            Soldiers of Odin is one such hate group that’s well documented for their terror campaigns against minorities and refugees. Gavin McInnes of Rebel Media started one called “Proud Boys” that harassed First Nations demonstrators in Halifax, and as a part of its credo also has a bizarre John Kellogg-ish admonition against masturbation (literally WTF). The rest are disorganized/decentralized trolls who pop up at rallies and wage psyop campaigns in CBC and YouTube comments sections and do their “organizing” on the usual chansites. The dangerous part is that their “organizing” isn’t really just confined to the chansites. The chansites are a sort of information clearinghouse, where they doxx refugees and other Canadians of minority status, to wage intimidation campaigns against them both online and in meatspace.

            As Alanis’ ex-boyfriend might say, they really need to “cut… it… out.”

  • WIDTAP
  • Walter Wellstone

    Richard Spencer calls himself an Identitarian and you know what that means: if you see an Identitarian you must punch them in the face.

  • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

    Holee fuck, I thought you guys were kidding about Trump and Venezuela. Military option? For what, their Venezuelan Beaver Cheese?

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cWDdd5KKhts

    https://www.cnbc.com/2017/08/11/trump-on-venezuela-im-not-going-to-rule-out-a-military-option.html

    • Royal Ugly Dude

      oil

  • TootsStansbury

    All the plays on words are full of awesome. I want to change my nym to “Boaty McHitlerface” but I don’t want to be mistaken for an actual Nazi, seeing as they’re a thing and all these days.

    • Ricky Gay

      It may not be the reich thing to do.

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      How about “Boaty McFrankenface”, or “Boaty McWarrenface”, or “Boaty McBarryface”?

  • hudson srinivasan

    lol.

    but seriously though when will the Middle East, with it’s great claims to civilization and being the fount of all advances, ever take responsibility and fix it’s own problems?

    seriously though, one would think some thing as vulgar and fundamentally repulsive as ISIS would be resisted and repelled by an universal forum. But no. There is apparently an opportunity to one-up the other even in resisting this perversity.

    If they could not find common purpose against this cancer to their own societies, i’m not sure there is anything they will show any leadership in the face of any common adversity to humanity.

    • h4rr4r

      ISIS is a product of wahhabism, which the USA has supported since 1933.

      Saudi Arabia cannot take too strong a line against ISIS as it would prove they are not the most wahhabist state.

      • hudson srinivasan

        which has been sustained by their own countries. at some point they have to stop blaming the US. Turkey as a society has had all the basic advances. WTF is their their problem? They have a civilizational memory no, they know what it takes to lead.

        • h4rr4r

          The USA will stop being blamed when it stops supporting the Saudis. Until then we are helping to spread ISIS.

          Turkey voted for their Donald Trump. That is what happened.

          India had a more or less fully functional British style government. Then they elected a Hindu supremecist, now attacks on minorities are becoming more and more regular.

          Germany went from a functional state to death camps in a decade.

          • mancityRed6

            the Saudis have a lot of money in our stock market, it won’t end well.

          • h4rr4r

            I did not say it would be easy, or soon. Long-term the kingdom will dial back the fundamentalism.

          • mancityRed6

            right before the last Gulf war started, the ex and I were at her parents.
            it was on the tv, and he said, “that’s not Saddam.”
            “He would never stick his hand out first.”
            I tended to believe him. he was the one who had a death warrant on his head, after all.

    • mancityRed6

      they gave us algebra, alcohol (for medicinal purposes), the auger, the camera obscura, and torpedoes.

      • hudson srinivasan

        but civilization is an on going thing. some small subset of dudes in some distant point in time were a geniuses. big deal. happens around everywhere. point is life is a continued struggle for progress.

        i can’t take credit rest on the genius of my grampa. i still need to represent and atleast pretend to aspire to his greatness myself.

        • mancityRed6

          I can take credit for my dad’s grandfather. he was a machinist, same as me. but now I have computer controlled machines, and it takes me minutes to do something that would have taken him all week.
          still can’t weld for shit, though.

          • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

            Heh. The only thing that I manage to successfully weld is the welding rod to some part of what I’m trying to weld.

            I can solder any kind of electronic thing, even surface mount, though.

          • hudson srinivasan

            you know what i mean. modulo our times and advances since them, as individuals, we are still holding fort if not advancing frontiers. as a society, we are constantly questioning our fundamentals and constantly advancing them, atleast trying to. how can you you be an organic civilization if your worldview is fixed?

          • mancityRed6

            standing on the shoulders of giants?
            possibly. but your first post is flawed in that they do resist Daesh.

          • hudson srinivasan

            How? For the longest time they were playing all sides. e,.g, for the longest time, half the cadre found transit via istanbul.

          • mancityRed6

            no, because only a few countries (Saudi among them) are so vicious in their reprisals.
            so far, anyway.

          • hudson srinivasan

            ya and must be held accountable to standards the rest of the world is.

          • mancityRed6

            I wish they would toss the whole thing about religion aside, but they can’t. just like a southern baptist can’t abide a statue of Mary.
            read tank girl comix and know where we are heading.

          • hudson srinivasan

            thats what i’m saying. religion dominates their worlview so much and its not passive either. they want religion to dominate their worldview and take active steps to ensure their religion dominates others. my repulsion to wahabbis stems from the damage they have inflicted in elsewhere – in rest of asia and africa. slithering sly neo-colonists.

          • mancityRed6

            the only difference between hard core Muslims and hardcore southern Baptists is that the Baptists allow the woman to show her face. that’s it.
            no dancing, no drinking, no smoking, no sex, and no drugs.

          • hudson srinivasan

            religious orthodoxy seems to have converged. i have bit of understanding about hindu thought dating back to its origins a couple of millenia ago. there were none of these new found injunctions about gender and diet. even a couple of decades ago, forget earlier than that.

            something thing weird is happening . earth is heating up on the worst impulses. we might kill ourselves on heated up on our own prejudices way before we kill ourselves on rising waters.

          • mancityRed6

            I did watch a show, BBC I think, that talked about the guy who started the whole Islam orthodoxy movement. he went to school in the states in the ’50s and was not impressed by the culture so he decided to make sure that every woman was covered head to toe and all the rules about religion were followed.

          • hudson srinivasan

            al-zawahiri. but orthodoxy predates that, way before that.

    • Three Finger Salute

      They could start by not killing moderate/reformist Muslims like the Sufi, Baha’i and Ahmadiyya. That said, what h4rr4r said is also correct, the USA props up these cancerous regimes for their own purposes. Britain “royally” screwed over what was left of the Ottoman Empire and basically got the ball rolling for WW3 even before there was a WW2 with the Balfour Declaration. Then there’s France with Algeria and the whole scramble-for-Africa business among other countries like Portugal and Spain. The West fucked up bigly with colonialism and sadly there’s really no fixing any of this. Greed coupled with irrational superstition will kill us all.

      • dshwa

        Only thing we can (but won’t) do is for everyone else to stop supporting all sides and let them sort things out for themselves.

      • hudson srinivasan

        i agree that the west messed up. the west fucked up bulk of humanity. but they are all sovereigns now, atleast to their own concerns, and a whole lot of them have moved on. where is even the basic spark of enlightenment?

        • Three Finger Salute

          Being killed and/or fleeing to the same Western countries that fucked things up, where they then get harassed and told to “go back home” — and then turn to radicalism.

          • hudson srinivasan

            no man. bulk of people in much of Asia were subject to these very same conditions. They’ve all found ways out without being so caustic.

          • hudson srinivasan

            no yaar. that’s the most flimsiest of excuses. people who want to do more with their lives find a way. always have. in much of the rest of humanity. the Chinese for example will think of undercutting you by out manufacturing you before they think of about bombing you. The rest of asians east of indus, will set aside their own grievances and one-up each other fixing the problems fromchinese made devices.

          • hudson srinivasan

            everybodybody finds a purpose in their own betterment. and quits blaming the world as it exists – make a lemonade out of a lemon if you will. As much as we hate him, the ME has not figured out how to capitalize the genius of its own people. They are stuck in religion.

    • mancityRed6

      my first father in law broke rules in Iraq by marrying a blonde English woman.
      he liked to drink and talk and so he was kind of forced to join the national guard. it was either that or die.
      when he, his wife, and my future first wife left Iraq, they told no one.
      a week later they tore the house apart looking for any indication of where they would go.

      • hudson srinivasan

        Iran & Iraq & Lebanon & Turkey & Egypt are the founts of ferment in that region. The rest have just got famous but somehow wield great power.

        • mancityRed6

          he (the father in law) met Tom Baker in London, Tom said something about him being from the cradle of civilization.
          Saudi got the power from the oil, just like the rest have.

          • hudson srinivasan

            how long on old laurels will they rest, without ever contributing to the present?

          • mancityRed6

            until the oil runs out, then, they have nothing

          • hudson srinivasan

            word.

          • mancityRed6

            I’m not saying I disagree, just saying the premise needs a bit more finesse.
            more snark for this crowd.

          • hudson srinivasan

            ability to snark is awesome.

  • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

    Would it that us folks who happen to be plagued by having day jobs could go out and have such “fun” in the sea like those fucking GNAZI shitheads.

    • BadKitty904

      They don’t sound like a very “employable” bunch, if you know what I mean and I think you do…

    • mancityRed6

      I wonder if they’re on the dole in their respective countries.

      • h4rr4r

        You wonder? Really?

        Stop wondering, just like here these folks are scamming social welfare programs.

      • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

        I don’t.

  • Lyly Sirivong

    The winner of the 800m world championship, Pierre-Ambroise Bosse has become a celebrity in France, not just because he won a gold medal but also because he’s quite the clown in interview.
    But talking about his new found fame, he said something that I’m sure a lot of people can relate to :
    “I’m not saying I don’t like people, I do like them, but not all the time.”

    • mancityRed6

      I don’t hate them, I just feel better when they’re not around.

    • BadKitty904

      “I do like them. With mustard.”

      • mancityRed6

        stone ground or GTFO

        • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

          That’s a relief. So far nobody has indicated a preference for enjoying such a meal burnt, with ketchup.

          • mancityRed6

            only if you finish on the grill with some good bbq sauce, and then slice thin to fit into taco shells.
            well, that’s how I did it when I bought the KC strips on sale.

  • brittany

    As recently as 10 years ago, saying something like “Boaty McHitlerface” would have had you getting sent to a professional by your employer/friends.

    Covfefe.

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      Well nowadays among my friends, saying something like “Boaty McHilterface” would merely result in all of my friends sagely nodding in contemplative affirmation.

      • mancityRed6

        might I say, you need a better class of people to imbibe with?

        • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

          Well, I didn’t mention the metamophosis (fuck spelling) that occurs when my friends are well into their drinking session and don’t have the moderating influence of various varieties of an essential herb.

          • mancityRed6

            no matter the liquid or the herb, my friends are of a like mind.
            not an echo chamber, we have our differences, but still.
            we agree that tRump is the worst.

          • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

            Indeed. After the aforementioned metamorphosis (fixed the spelling–yea!!) my esteemed colleagues usually remain in agreement with me but their interests change. They usually actively resume their efforts to develop a secret high-tech device that will selectively vote people we don’t like out of existence. This is usually accompanied by swearing an cursing of such an advanced nature that the most grizzled Senior Petty Officer would be seeking a fainting couch after having listened for fifteen seconds.

          • mancityRed6

            I can swear like a sailor with the best of them.
            although, I am much interested in their device.

          • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

            I am also interested in the device but they refuse to show me anything until it’s been tested and perfected. At the rate they are going, I’m sure whatever cockroaches survive into the future will be able to continue development.

  • dshwa

    Worst Love Boat episode ever.

    • mancityRed6

      and _that_ says a lot.

  • Joe Beese
    • mancityRed6

      those shorts with those socks…fuuuuck

      • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

        But they aren’t pants, yes?

        • mancityRed6

          so we can see those knees…oh yeah, baby.

  • Lyly Sirivong
  • guppy06

    Sea-Eye later posted a photo of C-Star; we’re not sure whether it was up and running again or still drifting.

    Um… comparing the freeboard of this pic with earlier pic with all the banners, the “mechanical problem” Boaty McHitlerface is that either the engine suddenly got much heavier, or it’s taking on water.

    When you can reach off the transom and touch water, you’re one stiff breeze from Bad Things Happening.

    • BadKitty904

      My first thought on that pic was “That boat’s gonna sink.

    • Ωbjectifier

      One does not shut down the engines at sea for a ‘minor technical problem’.

      • h4rr4r

        Sure, all the time. Minor issues like fire, loss of cooling, or flooding, are all totally normal minor reasons to shut off your engines at sea.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        No engine in the open ocean without backup power or sail-assist is a pretty terrifying situation. You have no control, no movement, you’re at the mercy of the wind and waves. You end up beam-to in a big swell, and it can be all over very quickly.

    • TootsStansbury

      That was my thought too. It’s looking close to the old “never step down into a life raft” will apply right soon.

    • CripesAmighty

      Eh, just looks like she’s in the trough of the swell.

    • BigBoppa ~ Résistent

      They’re gonna need a bigger boat.

  • Ωbjectifier
    • mancityRed6

      the first and probably best Hitchcock film was all set in a lifeboat, just saying.

      • beingreleased

        It wasn’t his first. Excellent movie though. I’m about to introduce my kids to Hitchcock with The Birds.

        • MizzMazz

          Great movie. Best scene was the children’s party, and they’re singing that annoying song. At that point everyone’s rooting for the birds.

          • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

            When the gas station blows up.

          • MizzMazz

            Oh yes. I’m feeling the need for a Hitchcock binge fest.

        • mancityRed6

          my parents bought me books and a shortened version of The Birds was one of them.
          good god, I’m glad they did.

        • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

          How old? Cuz I saw The Birds on TV when I was too young and it freaked me out. I took my daughter to see Psycho at an outdoor screening when she was in HS and we had a blast.

      • Ωbjectifier
      • Elvis Causticfellow

        It might have been his first American one? Too lazy to check. But he’d worked since silents in England by that point.

        • mancityRed6

          yeah, I forget his storied career started before the US took notice.

  • Jeffocaster in the West

    A lot of money to bankroll hate in this world I guess. Build a wall instead of funding health care. Build bombs instead of feeding the poor. Float a boat to hate refugees….

  • Doug Langley

    Well, I survived my first week of the new job. Pulling files, filing files, up, down, back, forth, until my back was just burning from the work.

    Got home, put feet up, brace for weekend. Check email – hey, there’s one from boss at community college. He’s offering me one class for autumn. How can I describe the pain rushing through me? I would so dearly love to teach it – but it’s only ONE class and just couldn’t pay anything to speak of. How can I say it? Even if I was offered all the classes the school would permit, I STILL wouldn’t get as much money as this file clerk job.

    How fucked up is that? HOW FUCKED UP IS THAT???????????

    • anon_the_great

      That sucks. Apparently there are too many people who will teach of dog food.

      • Bananas Foster

        “That sucks. Apparently there are too many people who will teach of dog food.”
        People edit for even less than that. ;)

    • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

      “Thank you very much for the offer.

      Unforutnately, I’ve just started at a new, demanding job and won’t be able to help you this semester.”

      But ya know, clean it up a lot.

      ; )

      • Doug Langley

        I did reply that I had just started a new job as file clerk that actually pays more than the school ever did. I don’t hold him responsible, he doesn’t cut the checks, and I know if it was up to him he’d have me teaching half the classes in the dept.

        • CindyinEncinitas

          I’m sorry you have to make such a tough decision. Their loss.

    • Jeffocaster in the West

      Mighty fucked up. Try playing professional sports, loser. You aren’t worth shit to the world. Teachers are the people who keep Democracy alive. Jefferson said without education no democracy.

      • Ωbjectifier

        Just get a small $1M loan from your dad. Or cash in some securities. Bootstraps, people!

      • anon_the_great

        Wierd part. When Jefferson educated some of his slaves in the Arts and Crafts they became too valuable to free. True fact

        • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

          Same with any slaves with special skills. Yep, the slaveholders would hire them out and keep the wages.

    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      Community colleges are trolling for over-degreed out of work desperate intellectuals they can grossly underpay and keep from having to hire anyone actually. It should be a crime…

      • MizzMazz

        It truly is. One of the best writers I knew was teaching writing and film at our local community college in the 80’s, and I was running an ice cream parlour. I made more than he did. Learned more from that guy than in all my schooling.

      • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

        Been there, done that. One year, I worked at four different colleges and taught 8 classes.

        • Toomush_Inferesistance

          You forgot to add: “and made bupkus”….

      • anon_the_great

        So why is the job market flooded w/ over-degreed desperadoes?

        • Toomush_Inferesistance

          Because college recruiters claimed everywhere that you could not make a living living without a college degree. “Invest, you hosers!”..

          • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

            Parents too. My parents are mad that I didn’t make my daughter stay in school after year 2. But she’s been successful without further schooling and her dad and I aren’t out any more money.

      • Doug Langley

        Not just community colleges. It’s everywhere.

    • I know. My boyfriend went through that.

      • Doug Langley

        So sorry. What did he teach?

    • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

      Any word on that handcart? *I’m still shocked you don’t have one*

      • Doug Langley

        Okay, okay, I’ll ask.

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      That bites. It really does. Associate instructors are exploited for miserable wages

  • Carpe Vagenda

    Maybe Trump has found the friend in NK that he tried to make in Mexico?

    https://twitter.com/AP/status/896016454482632704

    • jesterpunk

      Trump will fire them in 3..2..1..

    • Bananas Foster

      Sexxxay Asian contacts…

    • Amy!

      Negotiating for asylum, just in case he can’t fire Mueller?

      • Carpe Vagenda

        or at least setting up a big kabuki dicksize war, not that the two of them couldn’t manage to destroy the world because they couldn’t handle on of them.

    • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

      One left ove or one hired by Tillerson?

    • ariel_gee_398

      That is clearly fake news – we don’t have any remaining senior diplomats.

  • guppy06

    Oh, and the Proud Ship Boaty McHitlerface is so proud of their Identitarian heritage that they’re flying the Mongolian flag.

    https://www.vesselfinder.com/vessels/C-STAR-IMO-7392854-MMSI-457381000

    • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

      Well, that is where the ship is registered.

      • Walter Wellstone

        And Mongolia is a landlocked country, just sayin’.

        • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

          I was thinking that too. That and “Genghis Khan Libelz”.

  • Persistent Demme

    Hurry, Mueller, hurry!

  • BadKitty904

    It’d be nice, for once, if the Traitor was honest and just threatened to nuke Robert Mueller and his investigation.

  • CindyinEncinitas

    My new favorite song (it’s old but I just re-discovered it).

    https://youtu.be/hqCCleNw16w

  • Toomush_Inferesistance
    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      What? No love for my favorite album???????….

      • amrak63

        One upvote, anyway. Did you, by any chance, first hear this song on Beaker Street? Clyde revived Beaker Street in 1987 (IIRC), and it ran on three different stations until Feb. 2011.

        https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Beaker_Street

        • Toomush_Inferesistance

          Naw – an old Procol Harum fan. My old pal, Curtiss A, listened to it non-stop for three weeks…

  • Bananas Foster

    I’m certain one of the 230948320984 noncomments before me pointed out the fact that the nonswimmers in the German cartoon are throwing Nazi salutes, right?

    Creative cartoonist.

  • jesterpunk

    The chicken guy isnt done with Trump yet.

    http://www.npr.org/2017/08/11/542692728/what-the-ba-kaaaawk-activist-behind-trumpchicken-isn-t-done-yet

    While he is still waiting on a few permits, Brar is gearing up to put on a “mock military parade.”

    “It’s what Trump says he wants,” Brar said. “So, I’m going to give it to him.”

    “That will include inflatable Russian weapons protecting dozens of Dons.”

    (Don is the chicken’s name)

  • CripesAmighty

    So, these shmucks raised enough to rent a yacht and cruise around on the premise that they were gonna cruise around being dicks pleasesendmoneythankyou, eh?
    Hmmm…..

    • amrak63

      Sounds like the Bundy Bunch gone to sea.

  • Ezio

    How is this a real headline?

    “Steve Bannon said he learned to fear Muslims when he visited Pakistan except he was probably in Hong Kong”.

    READ THIS. IT IS COMPLETELY MIND BOGGLING. https://theintercept.com/2017/08/11/steve-bannons-tall-tale-about-how-he-visited-pakistan-in-the-navy-and-saw-the-muslim-threat/

    • Carpe Vagenda

      The Intercept: Now that our chosen candidate is in power, we can afford to be choosy.

      • h4rr4r

        Facts are facts no matter who says them.

      • Ah, but see, they were not making as much money railing against a centric libtard. Now that they got the right bad people in power, they can fight and get all the monies!!!!
        No, really.

        • Carpe Vagenda

          Except they’re crowdfunding, so apparently eBay dude is tired of getting side-eyed at decent human potlucks.

          • Much like morning Joe, they have a lot of good will to expend before I’ll be taken in by them again.
            Like a hella lot.
            For now, they are opportunists interested only in their bottom line. Occam’s Razor.

      • Ezio

        Best comment

    • Bananas Foster

      I’m thoroughly convinced Steve Bannon spends his entire life either drunk, half drunk or in DTs until he cant get his next drink.

      I’m sure he’s visited lots of places….

    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      What happens in Hong Kong, stays in Pakistan…

    • Up In Smoke O’hontas

      Went there. Good read. As always, do NOT read the comments!

    • Guinnessmonkey

      I almost shared that article on social media, then I realized I had clicked on a link to The Intercept. Fuck those guys.

  • Joe Beese
    • BadKitty904

      The ol’ subtle approach, eh?

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      Four wars at once is a lot even for us, Dumbnuts.

      • OutOfOrbit

        but he wants one of his own

      • Three Finger Salute

        New GOP rallying cry:

        FOUR MORE WARS!
        FOUR MORE WARS!
        FOUR MORE WARS!
        FOUR MORE WARS!

    • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

      Too late, Lindsey Graham is already beating the “If you don’t support the President during a time of war, you’re a filthy traitor” drums. Also said that if Trump wants to “protect America” by pre-emptively attacking North Korea, it’s within his power.

      • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

        Miss Lindsey never met a War he didn’t like.

        • mackafritz

          As long as he doesn’t have to fight.

      • TootsStansbury

        It’s like everything is scripted. It sounds crazy but it’s horrifying watching this shitshow unfold. Nuking NK would be a war crime and make us an even worse rogue nation than we already are. I wish I could do something to stop this nightmare.

  • DainBramage

    How do these damned fools get insurance for that boat?

  • Angela Ruzzo

    I am always astonished when Europeans talk about racial and cultural purity. Like the Roman Army didn’t travel all over Europe (leaving lots of sperm behind), not to mention the Huns, the Vandals and the Mongols.

    • Isn’t like 6% of the population of Asia descended from Ghengis Khan?

      • Angela Ruzzo

        Yeah, Genghis got around. I read that 1 in 200 men in the world carry his DNA, and the numbers are much higher in Asia – 10% in the areas that he controlled during his lifetime.

        • Guinnessmonkey

          Isn’t it supposed to be Temujin’s grandfather (cuz his brothers and their kids were part of that, too)?

          • Angela Ruzzo

            He had so many brothers and half-brothers and uncles and half-uncles that it is probably impossible to nail it down.

      • amrak63

        IIRC, it was 1 out of 200 Asians, which would be 0.5%, but that’s still remarkable. Old Genghis got around. One wonders how he found time to build and run an empire.

        • amrak63

          Thanx for the clarification, Angela.

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      Most Northern Europeans have a big helping of Neanderthal, DNA also.

    • BadKitty904

      Neanderthal-eatin’ bastids, the lot of ’em.

      • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

        There wasn’t just eating going on

      • Beanz&Berryz

        But cheaper by the gross

    • Lyly Sirivong

      I don’t know if things have changed since then, but when I was a kid, in the 80’s, I learnt in history class that the ancestors of the french were the Gauls. Which is dumb because the Gallic tribes were too small to be the ancestors of all modern french people. It was a theory that took off in the 19th century because authorities didn’t want french kids to be taught that they descended from germanic people (the Franks). It’s only recently that they started correcting that.
      But there’s still a lot of propaganda being taught in french schools I’m sure.

    • MizzMazz

      I don’t get it either, in the USA as well. People either want to brag about how they are pure, or had a great great grandma who was a Cherokee Princess. You can’t have it both ways, and the thing about humans is we’ve always been very mobile.

      • JustDon’tSayDignity

        That Cherokee part is baffling, because apparently they’re the only ‘good’ injuns. Why?

        • The only ones they heard of.
          No. Really. They don’t know other tribal names right off hand so it becomes Cherokee.

          • Three Finger Salute

            They have Cherokee genes jeans.

          • JustDon’tSayDignity

            I’ll buy that for a dollar, BUT: I grew up in Lakota Sioux territory and it was STILL “1/16th Cherokee”

        • MizzMazz

          Cuz they walked to their own deaths? I really don’t know. Whole thing makes me sick.

    • Beanz&Berryz

      AOT,K

    • You can make up the story :D More fun, becomes family lore

  • snigsy

    Jeez, America. It’s not enough to trash talk N Korea, but now Venezuela, too? (I know, wag the dog, etc., but Jesus Mary and Joseph, now Venezuela?)

    • Bananas Foster

      American presidents who actually plan to take military action in South America don’t talk about it.

      • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

        The first rule of the United Fruit Club…

    • TootsStansbury

      Isn’t Venezuela heavily involved financially with…Russia?

    • bookish

      FFS. I can’t keep up with this guy. Wars on how many fronts, on how many continents?

      • Bananas Foster

        He took “Wag the Dog” too literally, even for an American.

      • BigBoppa ~ Résistent

        We have always been at war with North, South, West AND East Asia.

    • Venz not got Nukes. Therefore, much safer to wag that dog!

    • Guinnessmonkey

      Maybe I’m missing the sarcasm, but are you honestly suggesting that we’re wrong to criticize the governments of the DPRK or Venezuela? Seriously?

      And not even the dumb Trump Administration is talking about military action in Venezuela. Hell, they didn’t even block oil sales from there. They just sanctioned some of the criminals in the government who have been involved in shredding the last vestiges of democratic government in Venezuela.

      • erm…pretty sure the entire we’re gonna do this that and the other thing as if we are the world police (or, have any moral standing to speak about vestiges of democratic government right now) is a bit telling.

        • Guinnessmonkey

          Um, are you saying we don’t have the right to regulate our own banks and companies? Because that’s all we’ve done with Venezuela.

          And last I checked we still had an elected government. The head of the executive branch is a criminal and a moron, but he was elected. The Supreme Court and Congress are also still working as the Constitution intended. It’s not like Trump removed every justice he didn’t appoint and disbanded Congress.

          I’m gonna go out on a limb and guess you don’t have the foggiest idea of what’s been happening in Venezuela (to say nothing of the DPRK, which puts entire extended families in concentration camps if one member is caught even mildly criticizing the government).

      • snigsy

        No. Where exactly does my post suggest that we’re wrong (and who, btw, is that “we” in “we’re”) to criticize the government of North Korea or Venezuela? The object of my comment was Trump’s sabre-rattling.

  • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

    Just sit right back
    And you’ll hear a tale
    A tale of a fateful trip,
    That started from this myopic port,
    Aboard this stinking ship.
    The mate was a mighty failin’ man,
    The Skipper depraved and pure.
    Five idiots set sail that day,
    For a three hour tour,
    A three hour tour.

  • Michael R

    When traveling tell people you are from Canada

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jmm14g4cAFc

    • BosGrl

      I did that in the ’80s… everything old is new again!

    • BadKitty904
    • tehbaddr

      Reminds me of “Demon With a Glass Hand”.

    • Three Finger Salute

      I dunno, eventually those maple leaf patches American dissenters posing as Canadians sew on their clothes might end up being used for nefarious purposes.

      https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/763fffefa59eceaf5283b5aabc1e10da233695665240473e1dfe952d88ddf138.jpg

      • …wha?

        • Three Finger Salute

          Instead of the yellow star, it’s a maple leaf. With Trude Suss’ name stitched on it, to indicate you’re a Liberal fifth columnist.

          “First they came for the universal healthcare supporters…”

          • why are people posing as Canadians and sewing these on?

          • Three Finger Salute

            The mockup graphic is one replacing the word “Jude” with part of Justin Trudeau’s name. Americans often masquerade as Canadians when traveling abroad, to disclaim being an American when there’s a bigly (usually GOP) unpopular president in the WH. It’s easier to pretend to be Canadian than from Europe or Latin America, because you don’t have to know another language (most Americans don’t). They did this during W’s regime (until Harper came along), but it started during Nixon’s time — when Pierre Trudeau was PM and America was mired in Vietnam. In other words, “don’t blame me for the guy in office, I’m Canadian” (or at least, a liberal-minded American who voted for the Democratic candidate, and is more fond of Canadian liberal policies and leaders than to whatever Republican dumpster fire currently occupies 1600 Penn).

            American tourists have been doing this long enough that foreigners are usually wise to it, but even still, they tend to be sympathetic to the kind of Americans who do it just because it’s reflective of their mindset. Canadian-at-heart, if you will. The downside is that, were a fascist regime sympathetic to a fascist GOP president ever to come to power in Europe (or wherever else liberal Americans would be traveling to — or even the U.S. itself, if people started wearing it at home as a resistance badge like the black armband), the maple leaf patch (or other Canadian-identifying clothing) would be an “identifier” that marks you as a traitor. Just like the yellow star patch marked a person as a “liberal cosmopolitan” 70 years ago.

            http://www.israellycool.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/Judenstern_JMW.jpg

  • Wanton Wonton

    Boaty McHitlerface! *cackling*

    • tehbaddr

      Yeah pure gold!

  • Ezio

    Right-Winger: We can’t allow refugees into western nations! They might masquerade as Christians to get in!

    Me: Look who’s talking.

  • tehbaddr

    A “THX-1138” reference! Dok you do so woo me, but I don’t think I’d be into that thing where Editrix takes turns at us.

  • Fifth-and-a-Half Element

    “At the very least, it’s safe to say these folks have lost their moorings and are not on an even keel.” https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/493a9e1e7303408c93b9fe40c74b80bfb17e67353cfb334069826f26bd785fa8.jpg

  • tehbaddr

    “not on an even keel.” to say the least!

  • BoatOfVelociraptors
  • Fifth-and-a-Half Element

    I say, we can go where we want to, a place where they will never find…

    https://youtu.be/AjPau5QYtYs

    • Can we act like we come from out of this world, also?

      • AJ Milne

        … also too act like an im-be-cile.

        • ya know, I heard even we can dance.
          Or maybe it was wiccan dance. Either or.

          • MizzMazz

            Well they do happen along to a Beltaine celebration.

    • harryr

      When I was 15, I completely fell in in love with the girl in this video. And a great song also.

  • Ok, God, I don’t ask for very much, possibly because I am not at all sure you exist or anything, but I do figure you owe me for that whole 99.9% effective joke so here goes:
    We need a sign, God. A really good sign might be to, idk, sink some random refugee hating nazi scum and then have them rescued by a refugee raft.
    It would be a really good sigh, oh heavenly father/mother/octopus deity. Just sayin’
    Yours if you exist,
    Jen

  • jesterpunk

    I hate people, the comments are complaining the article is negative because it doesnt show the positive benefits of the 106 tons of nitrogen oxide that will be in the air when the pipeline is being build.

    http://lancasteronline.com/news/local/state-to-hold-public-hearing-in-lancaster-on-monday-on/article_98b0cd3e-7eac-11e7-b7ff-93ca799c6980.html

    EPA says

    https://www.epa.gov/no2-pollution/basic-information-about-no2#Effects

    Breathing air with a high concentration of NO2 can irritate airways in the human respiratory system. Such exposures over short periods can aggravate respiratory diseases, particularly asthma, leading to respiratory symptoms (such as coughing, wheezing or difficulty breathing), hospital admissions and visits to emergency rooms. Longer exposures to elevated concentrations of NO2 may contribute to the development of asthma and potentially increase susceptibility to respiratory infections. People with asthma, as well as children and the elderly are generally at greater risk for the health effects of NO2.

    NO2 along with other NOx reacts with other chemicals in the air to form both particulate matter and ozone. Both of these are also harmful when inhaled due to effects on the respiratory system.

    So i guess the positive benefits are hospitals and possible funeral homes will make more money?

    • Don’t forget the positive benefits of infant mortality!

      • jesterpunk

        Those babies should have pulled themselves up by their bootstraps and been born rich or something.

        • BigBoppa ~ Résistent

          Shouldn’t that be bootiestraps?

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      They contribute to lovely orange sunsets. I know this because I took air pollution chemistry classes in college. But no, they are not good to breathe.

    • BoatOfVelociraptors

      Dosage is king.

      • jesterpunk

        106 tons in a short period of time?

        • BoatOfVelociraptors

          A ten gallon tank will Rock a party all night long.

          • amrak63

            Uh, I think you have nitrogen dioxide (NO2) confused with nitrous oxide (N2O).

            Too much N2O can be bad, especially if not mixed with enough oxygen, but it has legitimate medical uses.

            NO2 is a corrosive poisonous gas. Do not fuck with it.

  • weejee

    There is no “real” Trump, in my view. I’m suggesting a thin theory of a
    man: he’s a showman, a cut-down master, an ass-clown, civically
    oblivious, a racist, a xenophobe, a partial ignoramus, an authoritarian,
    a demagogue, a threat to the Republic, and an asshole all at once.

    If that sounds interesting, then click the clickie.

    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      He’s a World Wide Wrestling empressario….

    • georgiaburning

      That’s why they love him

  • Kiri the Unicorn
  • janecita

    So, my peeps, when exactly are we invading Venezuela?

    • My money is still on Iran, but Venz got oils so could be!

      • Lyly Sirivong

        Is Scotland next on the list ?

        • mackafritz

          They not building some damn Trump golf course?

        • jesterpunk

          Trump is scared of Scotsman of the Year Michael Forbes.

        • Rick Hill

          After Freedonia

        • snigsy

          The Scots like to call him various colourful names.

      • Bananas Foster

        We’re a net exporter of oil now. It’s not a good reason to invade.

        • janecita

          Venezuela has the biggest reserves of oil on the planet.

          • Bananas Foster

            Yes, and too…

            Even if American demands fossil fuels, other countries are moving on.

      • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

        Has Donald run out of baby oil?

    • Bananas Foster

      We’re not.

      Guys, don’t fall for distractions!

      • janecita

        Dude, I’m kidding.

        • Bananas Foster

          Like, yah, but, also, too, people are reacting.

      • Red Bird

        I hope not. My exit plan if Donnie turned dictator was to move to Trinidad and Tobago.

        • alwayspunkindrublic

          Now there’s a culture that turned their oil boom into something good.

          • Red Bird

            Sweet steel pan. :)

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            I got to talk to Ellie Manette one time…generally credited as the originator of modern Trinidadian pan music. He was among the first to popularize it in the U.S., and finally moved here full time…which was somewhat controversial in Trinidad; some people felt he sold out their birthright. Anyway, he ended up in Phoenix, AZ, of all places, making his own pan sets and tuning, which is how I came across him.

          • Red Bird

            Wow. I’m Trinidadian. I was born there but moved to the US when I was young. Do you play? I thought Manette was in New York.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            Sorry about pontificating about pan music then…I really don’t know that much about it. I’m a musician, but not pan, but I loved it since the moment I heard it. I think Manette originally went to NYC, but he was in AZ in the 80s. Via his students, there were all kinds of steel drum bands, aspiring makers and tuners floating around back then. Even now, there are a couple of high schools here in Tucson that have pretty hip pan orchestras.

          • Red Bird

            Oh, no. I love hearing people talk about steel pan. It’s an unusual instrument so not many people know about it. I’m glad to know that the love of pan music spread to Arizona. If you have the 10 minutes to spare, you should (if you haven’t already) listen to the recording of the All-Stars version of Curry Tabanca. That is pan music!
            https://www.bing.com/videos/search?q=Curry+Tabanca+All-Stars+Steel+Orchestra&&view=detail&mid=7875ECCA5D65440B97F57875ECCA5D65440B97F5&FORM=VRDGAR

          • Ms.Moon

            It is wonderful I was in Tunapuna and there was band practice that you could feel the music through your feet.

          • Red Bird

            Oh, no, I like hearing about people discovering steel pan music. I tried posting this a minute ago but it didn’t work so here is my personal favorite. The All-Stars recording of Curry Tabanca.
            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oqwI5SuQ0uA

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            Very cool! Thanks. I really like the more “country” rawer, slightly dissonant, cacophonous stuff like this. I’m going to look up more of their music.

            My band used to do a “Caribbean”medley of a Haitian folk melody I came across somewhere, “St.Thomas” by Sonny Rollins, and a steel drum tune called “California”…guitar, bass, and two mandolins. It was my favorite tune in the medley, but we weren’t really hitting it the way we wanted, so when we recorded it, we just did the first two. We later tacked it on to a traditional Irish fiddle tune called “Off To California”.

          • Red Bird

            Funny. You hear dissonant and cacophonous, I hear lively and rhythmic. Enjoy.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            Oh, believe me, I hear lively and rhythmic. And I meant those other descriptions in a good way. Maybe “riotous”?

            Are you a musician? Have you been back to Trinidad since you moved away?

        • janecita

          Trinidad is now full of Venezuelan exiles.

          • Red Bird

            Trinidad has always been full of Venezuelans.

        • Three Finger Salute

          Am I the only one who thinks “St. Vincent & The Grenadines” sounds like it could be a cool indie-rock band? Especially since there’s actually a musician (a girl, btw) who goes by the name of “St. Vincent”.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      First we take Caracas, then we take Berlin. Then on to Ottawa.

      • janecita

        I’m claiming Angel Falls. I want to open a casino in the middle of the jungle.

        • alwayspunkindrublic

          Chapacita’s House of Fun.

      • Find Ottawa on a map.

        • janecita

          Find Caracas on a map.

          • I can do that.

          • janecita

            Remember, Venezuela is the country that looks like an elephant.

          • Like i could forget

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            FIND DISNEYLAND ON A MAP!!!11!

          • Three Finger Salute

            Trick question. Canada is Disneyland.

          • House0fTheBlueLights

            I can barely find the caracas on my butt

          • DrBigHead

            Aren’t those the clicky things that Flamenco dancers use?

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            You’re thinking of macarenas.

        • Sophia

          Half of the Americans can’t find North Korea on a world map. . That’s not stopping him.

          • AJ Milne

            Between that and the losing a carrier group thing, it’s just not inspiring confidence…

            (… on the bright side, tho’, what if they held a war and everyone got lost on the way?)

          • janecita

            Let’s be honest, half of Americans can’t find the United States on a map.

          • Msgr_MΩment

            Trick question. North Korea’s not on the map. It’s in Asia.

          • Suttree

            If half of us could, I would be impressed.

        • Up In Smoke O’hontas

          Easy for you to say!

        • Msgr_MΩment

          Hell, I can find it with my car. And if the wife’s not with me, I don’t have to stop at the Ikea first.

      • janecita

        I lived in Caracas for three years back in the 80s. It was a shit hole even then.

        • alwayspunkindrublic

          New York City was a shithole back in the 80s.

          • Walter Wellstone

            It still is.

          • janecita

            I agree.

          • miss_grundy

            Even though I was born and raised there, I left NYC and came back to live in the 90s and I found that the people were just shitty, especially people who weren’t born there. They were bitchy without the need to be and constantly dressing in dark colors.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            The only time I spent any significant time in NYC was in the early 80s. Personally, I kind of liked the East Village when it was still gritty and dangerous, but then again, I was just a dilettante hanging about.

      • snigsy

        Can you say that in a deep, sexy voice?

        • alwayspunkindrublic

          I’ll do my best Leonard Cohen.

          • snigsy

            Thanks, sweetie!

      • TundraGrifter

        Cuba. The rum and cigars are better and the women just as beautiful.

        • janecita

          Hey, keep away from my country!

          • TundraGrifter

            We were there in January 2016 and it was a fascinating trip. Of course, I’d gone to school at the U of Miami for a few years so I’d pretty much already been to Cuba. But still…

        • miss_grundy

          Yeah, keep away from my Mami’s country!

          • TundraGrifter

            The people are very friendly, the countryside is beautiful, the music fantastic.

        • Three Finger Salute

          According to Brainfart, Cuba is a Canadian province, because that’s where “Justin Castreau” was born.

    • Red Bird

      The Russians are buying oil refineries in VZ to claim unpaid loans right now. Maybe.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Venezuela is already invading us.
      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cASnPeqCiw8

  • Joe Beese

    Having finished a 1750ml bottle over the last two weeks and returning to a 750ml, the gain in smoothness and control in the pour is really striking. Well worth the cost per ml premium!

    • Bottle of?

      • Joe Beese

        Evan Williams Kentucky Straight Bourbon Whiskey.

        No better bourbon is cheaper. No cheaper bourbon is better.

        • marxalot

          That’s the truth. The green label stuff is pretty nice, too.

        • DrBigHead

          Just came home with a bottle of Bulleit Rye. Manhattans will be ready as soon as Ms. BigHead pulls in the driveway

          • Ωbjectifier

            Rye, as it should be. Some non-commenter the other day talked of making Manhattans with bourbon.
            MONSTER!

          • Joe Beese

            Philip Marlowe drank rye. That’s good enough for me.

          • DrBigHead

            Wha??? Who???

            They are dead to me….

          • TundraGrifter

            Step up your game and make a Sazerac. Or two. I’m using Hella Bitters as my second bitters. The bottles are an investment – they pay dividends for years.

        • TundraGrifter

          I’m a Rebel Yell man myself. With Vernor’s.

    • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

      Two weeks?

      Slacker.

  • Joe Beese

    This will put a smile on your face.

    Mueller’s Targets Face Financial Strain

    [Manafort’s] parting of ways with WilmerHale was also in part because Manafort’s finances are increasingly strained, according to sources familiar with the situation.

    “Paul Manafort’s resolve is limitless, but his resources are not,” said a person close to Manafort.

    http://www.thedailybeast.com/muellers-targets-face-financial-strain

    • DrBigHead

      You know, there is no possible way I could care any less about Manafort’s financial hardships

      • Ωbjectifier

        Huh. Gives me a warm feeling inside.

        • Walter Wellstone

          Yup. I’d love to see this motherfucker broke and destitute.

      • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

        did he piss away those millions?

        • janecita

          Ukrainian hookers aren’t free.

      • Joe Beese

        Don’t lose hope. Science is always making progress.

      • TundraGrifter

        Actually, I care a great deal because the more he runs out of cash, the more likely he is to flip.

    • TundraGrifter

      Earlier today I posted a musing that was the case.

      It would be irresponsible not to speculate.

      The Feds may not have frozen his assets, but he’s probably scared to death to access any of his ill-gotten off-shore wealth.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Selling out countries to Putin doesn’t pay what it used to.

    • Ms.Moon

      This warms the cockles of my cold heart, pay a fortune and he might not go to prison but he will be quite broke since asset forfeiture is now a thing as well as quality lawyers don’t come cheap.

  • Rick Hill
    • BosGrl

      It was one of the few things that pissed me off about Ted Kennedy: His fight against turbines off Cape Cod.

      • Joe Beese

        Have you no respect for the man’s property values, at long last?

      • Three Finger Salute

        Killing his (possibly pregnant) mistress in a DUI crash off a short pier and then getting away with it because of his last name wasn’t enough?

        I agreed with his policies but boy, did he ever fuck up.

        • BosGrl

          Yeah, you know, I agree with you. I did mean policies. Obviously I don’t agree with what happened at Chappaquiddick.

  • Trump is completely irredeemable

    Trump is Dumbass Moron Hitler 😋
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/6fc83ac3f19610911a70db3bcffe36017273333aa394c1a14867e2048be6f46f.png

    No Shit Sherlock

  • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

    sooo – remember trump’s tweet about modernizing our nuclear aresenal…how about a little chaos!

    “White House and Republican officials are looking at Sen. Joe Manchin, D-W.Va., as a candidate to take the top spot at the Energy Department, as a plan is being looked at moving Energy Secretary Rick Perry to lead the Homeland Security Department.

    Bloomberg reported the news citing four people familiar with the discussions.”

    • mancityRed6

      isn’t that like rearranging the deck chairs on the Titanic?

      • Raan

        Son of a bitch, stole my idea.

      • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

        …while the chairs are being used for life preservers…

        yeah, sounds right to me.

    • Three Finger Salute

      Oh FFS. Smrt Glasses Perry (D-Meats) in charge of DHS?

      “There are three countries that are part of the Axis of Evil. North Korea, Iran, and, uh… oops.”

      • mancityRed6

        (R-Meats) if you please.

        • Catstro

          No, the subtle reference to the barely passing grade he got in Meats class is A++

          • mancityRed6

            it was Texas, they don’t cotton to FDA regulations there.

      • Msgr_MΩment

        “…tofu.”

        • Three Finger Salute

          Tofurkey.

    • Joe Beese

      Rick Perry at Homeland Security?

      I feel safer already.

    • therblig

      will they be renaming it the “Coal Department”?

    • SayItWithWookies

      Oh great — Perry will do for safety in the US what he did for it in Texas. Count on fertilizer warehouses to start blowing up all over the country.

      • Raan

        I didn’t know they were warehousing Cheeto Benito’s tweets.

  • mancityRed6

    I posted on the facespace about my bank problems (cashing a check in Nevada when I was in Kansas).
    the ex, who was my first friend request on there, hasn’t liked it at all.
    *rolls eyes*
    fuck it. it’s almost been a year (9.17 baby)

    • janecita

      Oh no! Tell me more about your very dramatic story!

      • tehbaddr

        /inserts empathy chip for appreciation of life’s drama.

      • mancityRed6

        on my bank account, I use my middle initial “A”, not my middle name. somehow this asshole dumbfuck thought it was Anthony, and that’s what he used. but since he cashed a check at a casino, they have his picture (the guy that works the cage asked me what I looked like when he found the transaction) and a thumbprint. the bank gave me a credit for the $200 and all I had to do is make a new checking account and give that info to all the people I owe money to.
        it’s been a headache.

        • janecita

          It does sound like a nightmare. I’m glad that your bank was able, and willing, to help you out.

  • Nounverb911

    Can we volunteer Jeff Lord to be a sea anchor for the SS Hitlertanic? Or does that require votes?

    • mancityRed6

      one yea here.

      • Bobathonic

        A nother.

  • Nounverb911

    That certainly seems like a lot of Tippi Hendrons….
    https://twitter.com/MerriamWebster/status/896121103029895170

    • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

      Can you use it in a sentence, please?

      “Is the panda moaning, “umm…?”.

    • Sophia

      I’ve watched a lot of horror movies but there was something about that one that scared the hell out of me. I still get the heebie jeebies when I see a big flock of crows

    • tehbaddr

      The real frightening thing about that movie, was waiting for Tippi Hendrons’ green outfit to walk around and strangle her in the night. She never changed her clothes!

    • miss_grundy

      This movie scared the heck out of my aunt. She took a real dislike to the flock of pigeons that used to hang out in front of the subway entrance near our home.

      • Courser_Resistance

        My mom was phobic about birds so I don’t know if she ever watched the movie. She loved Hitchcock, so probably.

        When I was in high school the family road-tripped to DisneyLand. Kinda like Chevy Chase. On the first day a parrot shit in my mom’s hair. I thought I was gonna die.

  • Nounverb911
    • DainBramage

      Where’s the Diet Coke button?

      • Nounverb911

        Both at the same time?

    • Bananas Foster

      If it were only that easy to unplug the nuke option…

    • Invisible Bunyip

      Needs a sequel, showing a hand with a pair of scissors furtively snipping the wire to the ‘nuke’ button

  • TJ Barke

    I don’t know if I’d qualify this as nice time, to be honest.

    • mancityRed6

      oh hell, we’re mostly all here, it _is_ nice time.

    • I think the nice time comes in with the “even if they are vile assholes, people who are good will still be people who are good”

  • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

    from over at juanita jean’s place:

    Trump hit a new milestone yesterday, which is still climbing at a rapid pace – he’s now spent 50 days on vacation at his golf resorts in 202 days of infesting the White House. That’s 25% of his time playing golf and hanging out with sycophants. Let’s compare the vacation records of recent presidents:

    Barack Obama – 217 vacation days – 7%

    George W. Bush – 553 vacation days – 19%

    So – The Tweeter in Chief who now holds the record for percent of time on vacation since they started keeping track relentlessly hounded President Obama about golf and vacations while lying that he would never have time for golf. He’s now on record pace as the laziest president in US history as well as the biggest liar.

    • jesterpunk

      Is that 217 days over the same amount of time for Bamz or total?

      • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

        whole time i imagine – it’s the % that matters It hink.

      • janecita

        Total vacation time in his 8 years as president.

        • jesterpunk

          Damn Trump might beat that by the middle of next year.

          • Claire

            If you were on his staff, wouldn’t you encourage him to take as many vacation days as humanly possible?

          • jesterpunk

            If I was on his staff I would quit to spend more time washing my hair.

    • Claire

      Someone I saw on Twitter today: “Trump made a wish on the monkey’s paw to be president, and now he’s doomed to live out every single thing he criticized Obama for doing.”

      • TJ Barke

        Unfortunately he’s too dumb to be aware of it…

        • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

          And that’s why it’s up to us to remind him constantly.

          • TJ Barke

            Then it’s just fake news…

          • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

            That’s fine but we need to put it out there in the Universe.

          • TJ Barke

            The Universe is vast, cold and uncaring, unfortunately.

          • How do you know? What if the Universe is on a diet, and is secretly lonely and loves cuddles?

    • miss_grundy

      And the stupidest. Don’t forget that.

    • Three Finger Salute
      • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

        MAGA – Mendacious Asshole Golfing Again

    • commatoes

      Those are working trips. The fact that Dolt 45 has unaccounted for blocks of 4-4.5 hours (appr. the time to play a round of golf) and that golf clubs have been viewed being placed in and taken out of his car’s trunk and that he has been viewed playing golf on those occasions, is not conclusive proof that he is not working on these trips. I can assure you that Mr. Dolt 45 works equally hard at his golf resorts as he does when at the White House.

  • Jennifer R

    Here is your daily bit of thing to chew on mentally.
    https://twitter.com/norintha/status/896140516122689537

    • whaaaaa?

      • Jennifer R

        Ever watch the first two Hellraisers?

        • oohhhh no XD I don’t dig the scary/horror/monster type things.
          Did see hellboy though, once

          • Jennifer R

            The Cenobites are otherworldy Beings that seem to get a thrill from BDSM, that several victims from the first movie relish being the Cenobites playthings in the second I feel confirms my opinion.

    • commatoes

      I hear getting flayed alive is a good way to spend sexy time.

      Or he is really into the novella “Venus in Furs” and has a poster of the Marquis de Sade on his wall.

      Or he’s vanilla and is comparable to the virgin watching porn to learn about sex.

      Or he sincerely enjoys CBT.

      • Jennifer R

        Well, I have a name carved in my thigh, that I held the camera while it was being done so you can guess how many of your assumptions are true from that fact.

        • commatoes

          With Clive Barker, I make a distinction. I have a superficial knowledge of scarification (through incision or branding) and pain as a component in rituals (self flagellation by some Christians, etc.) from reading about cultural anthropology. To me that has an inferred purpose. If you did it to yourself, you must have a really high pain tolerance. Though, I have to needle myself (the equivalent of an IV) multiple times a week and have found it less painful if I do it myself.

          I think Barker might have been influenced by Derrida at the time of “The Hellbound Heart”‘s writing, though this is just my supposition. I think he might be exploring the cultural tension between “binary” (Maleki and Derrida) and “duality” in the classical Greek sense (Apollonian/Dionysian and Eros/Chaos). Pain and pleasure being opposite extremes with which culture has a preference (binary) or is their existences integral to each other for relevance/context (Greek duality). This was a very popular topic amongst intellectuals in in the early 1980’s.

          Or, I might be reading it this way because this is the way I was taught to read/analyze fiction.
          Or, I might be trying to rationalize my immense student loan that I have just recently paid off.
          Or, I might just be talking out of my ass.

          • Jennifer R

            A response in two parts
            1: Actually I held very still while someone else did it with a (two) 10A scalpel.
            A:I will be honest, my original thought extended only as far as the films as I am an uncultured lout.

          • commatoes

            You need to get yourself an immense student loan for a potentially unemployable degree. Instead of just being a pompous ass, you get to be an erudite pompous ass.

          • Jennifer R

            I have a STEM degree, I can be a pompous ass.

          • commatoes

            But can you out pompous a guy with a degree in ancient languages with no plans on graduate school? When you get a real look at what you will “win”, it is often better to give up.

            PS I knew one. It took every ounce of will, every false platitude from Catholic school, every inspirational poster I had ever seen on the ceiling at the dentist, not to pummel him whenever he spoke.

            ETA:You definitely do not strike me as the type of person I wish to pummel into unconsciousness when you speak. You have been quite nice and polite.

          • Jennifer R

            That’s cause my angle is more thirsty twitter tranny, than abrasive asshole. Thought I can be a jerk when needed.

          • commatoes

            Every should have that as a defense mechanism. It is when jerk is the default setting. . .

          • commatoes

            And I recommend his “Books of Blood” series of short stories. His novels tend to be a bit of a slog. So being invested in it before you start help out a lot. His short stories are as equally well written as his novels.

  • Joe Beese

    So that HuffPo contributor who is being sued for 50 mil by Eric Bolling for reporting about his dick pic habit has hired Patty Glaser, who is apparently feared like one of Marsellus Wallace’s pipe-hitting n****s.

    • Walter Wellstone

      Marsellus Wallace is one badass motherfucker.

    • commatoes

      So she’s on turd polishing detail?

  • Nounverb911
    • Bananas Foster

      Don’t cross the streams!

    • tehbaddr

      Both despicable men, prolly with small peni!

    • Serai 1

      Yep. As usual, the fate of the world rests on how loudly two assholes want to argue over the sizes of their dicks.

    • commatoes

      I imagine their confrontation like this

      https://youtu.be/fDue8GTuqZM?t=1m34s

  • Ok. 1 hour and 20 minutes left at work. Any bets on me falling asleep at my desk?

    • tehbaddr

      Yes.

    • jaspersdad

      Just pour the coffee directly into your eyes. Guaranteed to wake you up.

      • I don’t drink coffee and i forgot all forms of caffiene today. I am in BAD shape

        • jaspersdad

          Who said anything about drinking? Running around the office also works.

          • That “makes me seem weird” and “disturbs my coworkers”

          • jaspersdad

            Did I mention the naked part.

          • No. But only other ladies at work

          • covfefesumgame0005

            um, where do you work? asking for a friend who likes nekkid ladies…

          • jaspersdad

            Who knows, you could be trendsetter.

    • 20 minute clips. Every 20, stand up and stretch.
      Also, decide you want to get something done before you leave. Time will fly

  • Serolf Divad

    If there was any justice in this world these dbags would bump into and unexploded WWII mine.

    • Red Bird

      Nah. True justice would be for all of them to marry one of the refugees they met and have children with them.

      • Nounverb911

        Didn’t trump already do that 2 or 3 times?

        • commatoes

          More “imported”.

    • Nounverb911

      The day before we went to Potsdam Germany four years ago, the military detonated a British 500 pound bomb left over from the war there….

      • Bananas Foster

        I was in Estonia when random Russian nuclear shit washed up on the beach. A local man picked it up and died.

        This shit happens.

  • jaspersdad

    For our trans friends and anyone else who likes funny, Canadian comedian Lara Rae.

    http://www.cbc.ca/listen/shows/laugh-out-loud/episode/13344247

  • btwbfdimho
    • Nounverb911
      • Bananas Foster

        Trump is so,”Venez.. what?”

        “Is that for asthmatics?”

      • jesterpunk

        She looks like she is really thinking about joining her staff that recently quit, and Rexxcon looks like someone woke him up from his nap.

      • btwbfdimho
      • Bitter Scribe

        I dunno…I didn’t see much of a change. She probably always looks dyspeptic when she’s near Trump.

      • TJ Barke

        Fucking thugs.

      • DrBigHead

        Jesus H. Christ on a cracker….

      • jaspersdad

        What a fucking bell end.

      • btwbfdimho

        She’s probably thinking about how to make her pussy more grabbable.

      • Serai 1

        I didn’t see any change there.

    • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

      Seen that all over the Interwebz today. It’s been resurrected!

  • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

    I’m pining for the fjords of Noway.

    • Bananas Foster

      You’d think they’d want the immigrants who were multilingual.

    • CripesAmighty

      A Meme Was Born….

  • PigDootsMolloy

    1967 Colt-45 commercial- Billy Van’s expression pretty well sums up the week.

    https://youtu.be/CJ_mtRc3WwU

    • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

      When cool WAS cool.

    • Courser_Resistance

      Colt 45 was classy? Wow, how far it’s fallen.

  • Bitter Scribe

    Wow. You really have to be committed to your assholery to buy a ship and go to sea to flaunt it.

  • Nounverb911
    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      “No think. No think. You think.”

    • hudson srinivasan

      lol. he said think.

    • CripesAmighty

      My hero.

    • Bananas Foster

      It’s the “like crazy” part that didn’t work…

  • Nounverb911
  • Carpe Vagenda

    Wanna cry?

    Born in what is now Poland, Kristal has survived 113 years of Jewish history. He was in his 30s when the Nazis invaded, and he was imprisonedwith his wife and two children in the Lodz ghetto and then at Auschwitz. His wife and children died.

    Speaking about the horror of Auschwitz, he once told Haaretz,“Two books could be written about a single day there.”

    He moved to Israel in 1950 and now lives in Haifa. He remarried and had two children, and is now a grandfather and great-grandfather.

    His daughter told the BBC that on his bar mitzvah day, Kristal will put on tefillin, the small boxes containing prayers that Jews above the age of bar mitzvah wrap around their arms and heads, and will say the blessings forthe Torah.

    He has maintained his faith throughout his life, she said. Talking to the Jerusalem Post about her father surviving the Holocaust, she said, “He believes he was saved because that’s what God wanted.”

    As for himself, Kristal said in March when he was named the world’s oldest man, “I believe that everything is determined from above and we shall never know the reasons why. There have been smarter, stronger and better-looking men … who are no longer alive. All that is left for us to do is to keep on working as hard as we can and rebuild what is lost.”

    • SnarkON

      What’s the theme of the Bar Mitzvah party, though?

  • SnarkON

    OT: My ferocious 7-pound dog is howl-barking on the back porch, singing his mournful love song to the unseen Labrador next door.

    • BigBoppa ~ Résistent

      A bad case of puppy love?

  • Nounverb911
  • jesterpunk
    • I like the part where he officially opened a hotel/casino in Brazil before he built it.

    • Three Finger Salute

      The following is a comprehensive list of all countries Trump would never attack:
      1. Russia

  • Nounverb911
  • Cogswell – In a Mirror, Darkly

    Are they going to stand by their convictions and refuse help?

    • amrak63

      ICYMI, there was a lot of Trek reference going on earlier in this thread.

      The old Gold Key comic books, inept as they often were, came up.

      http://curtdanhauser.com/Main.html

      • Cogswell – In a Mirror, Darkly

        I may have to scroll through.

        I’ve been a Media matters most of the day trying to talk sense to some of the trolls to no avail. Well, I should say there was a couple meaningful exchanges but mostly they just like to use ad hominem attacks and snide remarks.

      • Cogswell – In a Mirror, Darkly

        Oh, excellent avatar, BTW.

  • Kiri the Unicorn

    A closer translation of the German cartoon might read, “Can you tell where the Identitarians sunken ship is?”

    • eka

      more like, “could it be, that the identitarian ship has sunk?”

  • CripesAmighty

    Fucking Venezuela? Jesus. Now they’ve dug up Milton Friedman.

    • Three Finger Salute

      Might as well dig up Milton Bradley and declare war on Candy Land.

  • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

    This afternoon, I finished making a slide-out keyboard and accessory tray for my lab computer workstation #2 and lived to tell about it. Now that I’m sure that I won’t need the table saw anymore today, I have my cigar lit and my cognac poured and I’m ready to snark.

    Fuck the Sea GNAZIs in their eye sockets with burnt steaks and ketchup (votes&etc.)

    • Résistance Land Shark Ω

      No loss of limbs or fingers FTW!

  • Joe Beese
    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      So long as they agree with Donnie and flatter his limp ego.

      ETA: Okay, it’s a parody tweeter. I just noticed. It makes more sense now.

      • Nounverb911

        That’s not the only thing that’s limp.

    • But all the women you assulted are lying cunts, right Twitler?

    • who is talorswift13 and what happened?

      • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

        Taylor Swift the singer/songwriter was pawed by a radio dj and was sued for defamation for complaining. She’s counter suing for $1, just to make it clear that this guy is a creep. She also has witnesses.

    • btwbfdimho

      Nice is not real…

    • Michael R

      Nothing about her pussy ?

    • ltmcdies

      Tell me…. how much did your lawyers threaten that woman who was suing you for assault again.

  • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

    “Do you think the government should provide a national health insurance program for all Americans, even if this would require higher taxes?”

    Yes: 58%; No: 39%
    Republicans only: Yes: 31%; No: 67%

    http://pollingreport.com/health.htm

    • Michael R

      ” That would be like admitting we are human “

    • Three Finger Salute

      “WE’RE BEING ANNEXED BY CANADA!!!!!!11111!!!” -Republicans

      • SayItWithWookies

        Sorry — I wouldn’t stop asking.

  • Michael R
  • Bananas Foster
  • alwayspunkindrublic

    OK, who’s drankin’?

    • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

      yo!

    • ariel_gee_398

      AOU, K.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        Well, you….duh!

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        Assuming you’ll be up early watching Spurs and Newcastle on Sunday? It’s on at like, 5:30 a.m. here, so I just MIGHT DVR it for later. Rotsa ruck.

        • ariel_gee_398

          Thanks – I’ll be watching, even at that god-forsaken hour. Our last game against Newcastle did not go well, so who knows what to expect. Gloriously, newly-promoted Huddersfield is top of the table right now. I doubt it will last, but I hope they enjoy it.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            Well, even if they struggle against Newcastle, I saw that Chelsea lost today…and had two men sent off! And Rooney scored the winner for Everton, which is kinda cool, being his childhood/1st club and all.

            Also too, I’m curious about your new volunteer/possible job thing, so if you ever want to tell me about it? If not, that’s cool too.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            Not a bad result, eh? That 2nd goal was a thing of beauty…although thank God for slow-mo replay; the shadows on the pitch made it really hard to follow. Red card-and hopefully suspension-well deserved. Jesus…that Jonjo Shelvey dude looks like he probably spent the days leading up to the match marching around Charlottesville with a swastika.

          • ariel_gee_398

            There was a time when both Shelvey and Martin Skrtel played for Liverpool. They looked like they staffed their defensive positions by hiring some Serbian prison guards and tossing them on the pitch.

            I’ll take the result, given the injuries and Newcastle being a bit of a bogey team. That’s pretty typical of a Spurs goal scored by someone other than Harry Kane these days – beautiful link up play, a clever touch or two, and a quality finish. It’s so much fun to watch.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            Yeah, Skrtel is a rather crepuscular looking sort, isn’t he? I mean, the spelling of his last name alone kind of prepares you. I looked up Shelvey…turns out he has alopecia-which explains the bald head-and I feel a little bad. But not that bad. I understand players getting triggered coming up in a tangle after a hard challenge. I understand it’s a rough sport, I understand the need for a hard man/enforcer type to intimidate and keep the other side in line. But these sneaky, chickenshit off-the-ball fouls…biting, spitting, stomping an ankle. All sociopathic, semi-criminal behavior IMO. No place in the sport.

          • ariel_gee_398

            I’m not so sure that teams really need an enforcer anymore – there’s little tolerance for dangerous tackles from officials and mostly I think it just means you end up getting a lot of red cards. That said, I agree about the other kind of shit. The thing is, Dele has a bit of a temper and I think he knew exactly what he was doing, winding up Shelvey. Not his fault Shelvey was dumb enough to fall for it.

            Speaking of intemperate red cards – did you see Ronaldo’s latest gripe? Getting banned for shoving a ref is proof of a conspiracy against him. Real has overtaken Barça, just keep your head down and win trophies, dumbass. I think he’s jealous that other players got higher fees than him.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            No, you’re right….though what I mean by “enforcer” is not the talentless thug of days past who’s job was simply to kick people. Just a hard guy that takes no shit and others on the pitch respect.

            I didn’t see Ronaldo’s whinging. In fairness, the 2nd yellow for diving was a blown call…but shoving a ref? Dude, get over yourself (like that’s ever going to happen). Did you watch the Supercopa? Jeezus, they rolled Barca BAD without a whole lot of effort. Modric out and Ronaldo in for about 15 minutes in the first leg, Bale, Isco, Carvajal out for the 2nd, with Ronaldo in the stands. Barca looks old and creaky. Pique got punked so often and so badly it was painful to watch…and an own goal to boot. Shit, the only goal they scored came off a PK from Suarez diving in the area. And no wonder Real didn’t blink at letting go of Morata and Rodriguez… Marco Asensio is going to be huge. His two long distance strikes against Barca were stunning.

          • ariel_gee_398

            I didn’t watch the Supercopa, but I read a recap. I mean, it’s just embarrassing. And if Liverpool is gonna hold firm on Coutinho, what on earth are they gonna do? Just not replace Neymar? It’s weird to think of a club like that in shambles, but….

            I saw that article about Mata. He’s always struck me as a decent, grounded sort, and what he’s asking is so reasonable for most players. I’m a little disappointed that more people haven’t joined in yet. I should start a Mata to Tottenham rumor.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            I think the decline set in last year; what Neymar did, through sheer wealth of talent up top with Messi and Suarez, was mostly mask the fact that they are not the side they once were. Dani Alves is gone, Pique, Busquets, and Iniesta are on their last laps. That Suarez and Messi alone-two strikers every club in the world would give anything for-can no longer carry them alone is evidence of how middling they’ve become.

            Typically, of course, I may have to eat my words about Pogba, as he has played brilliantly these first two rounds, albeit against bottom-table competition. Lukaku seems like the real deal. There have been unconfirmed rumors that Mourinho figured out that constantly and publicly berating and humiliating players isn’t really a great strategy for getting good performances out of them. We’ll see.

            I don’t think there’s a big tradition of philanthropy in football, or if there is, I haven’t heard much about it. Drogba was generous that way, but I think Mata is trying to change the mindset…I really hope the idea catches fire.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            Btw, great article in the Guardian about Juan Mata. He’s pledging 1% of his salary to a worldwide outreach to poor kids called CommonGoal. His immediate aim is to get 10 other footballers to do the same (Mats Hummels just committed), and ultimately, to get the entire apparatus of world football to do so. I knew there was a reason I liked Mata…he sounds like a bright guy; caring, self-aware, anxious to make a difference.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            So, Spurs and Chelsea tomorrow. Just wondering if maddeningly rational sorts get wound up about this sort of thing…maybe even the occasional fit of irrationality?

          • ariel_gee_398

            The stars are all aligned for a Spurs win – Chelsea without Fabregas, Cahill, Pedro, Costa and Hazard, for a start – so I’m guessing we’ll lose 2-1 or something dumb like that.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            Those are some big guns Chelsea is missing, esp. Hazard. You didn’t really answer my question about maddeningly rational types…but given your pessimistic prediction, maybe you actually did. I have to do some stuff at the shop tomorrow morning, but I have my DVR set. Good luck!

            Oh, FYI, I learned about this online beer store, http://www.craftshack.com. Wonker NastyBosetti directed me to it as the only place to find that Stone PunkinDrublic lager, other than attending a few select NOFX shows this fall on the west coast. There’s a $35 minimum purchase, and with shipping, it is a lot more than you’d pay if you have a decent beer outlet locally, but it’s a good resource for checking out new brews to keep an eye out for. You drinkin’ anything good lately?

    • hudson srinivasan

      i wanna know who is not. and why.

      • Jonny On Maui

        I’m driving but the rest of us are holding off until Lahaina. 2nd Friday street party tonight on Front Street.

        • oh you libtards with your paradise and street parties. PFT
          /so very jealous

          • Jonny On Maui

            We’re still waiting on the beach for your invasion fleet to land…

            Friends of Ms.MLG are here so we’re vacationing again…

          • any day now, Jonny. About the time Bamz stealz all our gunz probably.
            woo visits are fun! I hope you guys have a fabulous time ^.^

          • Jonny On Maui

            Thanks Jen!

      • The Librarian

        Not. Weed. :)

    • Elvis Causticfellow

      Can’t stop won’t stop

    • I was going to but then I was all meeehhhhh so now I am all zzzzz so I better not cause I promised the lads some D&D.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        Sissy.

        • I know I know but I really do not drink much anymore.
          I am there in spirit, however!

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            I’ll try to make up the slack for you.

          • ok, but in my prime I could guzzle a fifth of vodka on a good night.
            Better get crackin!

          • commatoes

            I vow to pinch drink for you and make you proud.

            Is there a permanent position for designated drinker?

    • amrak63

      That depends on what beverage you mean. I never acquired any taste for ethanol. (Not even Romulan ale or Saurian brandy.)

    • ltmcdies

      Just cracked one open.

    • WomanInThePersistence

      Cheers!

    • A Groucho Marxist

      yo

    • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

      Cabernet

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      !!!

    • 35 more minutes at work. But who’s counting?

    • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

      Me! I am halfway through a truly excellent bottle of Riesling.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        Thank you for your service, comrade.

  • Outstanding reporting Dok. Thanks.

  • SadDemInTex
    • Objection! Kelly is a crook and a moran.

    • DainBramage

      Shouldn’t The Mooch be in the Lunatic-Moron area?

      • Pretty sure Gorka should be in crook also, but 3 of 4 ain’t bad

      • A Groucho Marxist

        Yeah, and I think Tillerson should be somewhere in the crook circle, probably. Still, it’s a solid first attempt at Venn diagramming this bunch of assholes.

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      Okay, people. We need to figure out who’s names go into the blank areas, if any. Also, I’m guessing Stephen Miller would share the area occupied by Gorka.

      • What about the other two K girls, the blond young one and the brunette one?
        I forget their names, all these Trump stooges look a like to me

        • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

          Perhaps a new category: Stupid Fucking Useless Bints

          K. Macaninniny, the other one is not worth remembering.

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      You could put a fifth circle in there, called “ASSHOLE”. It would encircle the other four categories.

      • A Groucho Marxist

        It’s just a solid color, really.