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Guys, we have a radical suggestion to make, and it is that maybe Vladimir Putin has something on Donald Trump. RIGHT? Have we ever said anything like that every single day of the last year?

On Thursday, Trump took a break from golfing and watching TV at his Bedminster resort to say hello to some journalists. During his news conference, he threw more fake tough guy shit at North Korea, he pretended he didn’t know his campaign chairman Paul Manafort, and he also said something very strange about Putin’s expulsion of American diplomats from Russia, which he did in response to Congress almost unanimously passing (and Trump reluctantly signing, with his tiny fingers behind his back) a whole shit ton of new sanctions against the rogue nation.

How does Trump feel about Putin doing that? Is he mad bro? Nah, it’s cool, because here’s why:

“I want to thank him because we’re trying to cut down on payroll, and as far as I’m concerned, I’m very thankful that he let go of a large number of people, because now we have a smaller payroll,” Mr. Trump told reporters at his golf club in Bedminster, N.J. “There’s no real reason for them to go back. So I greatly appreciate the fact that we’ve been able to cut our payroll of the United States. We’ll save a lot of money.”

We swear to God, reporters, if you DO NOT follow up Trump statements like that by saying, “Think fast, Mr. President! Name three things the diplomats Putin kicked out were doing over there,” then we are going to revoke your journalism cards and also too tell you to please grow some balls. Because we guarantee his orange ignoramus ass has NO IDEA.

The New York Times quotes Michael McFaul, Obama’s ambassador to Russia, who might be able to help Trump out on that front:

“Cutting our staff by 755 people will do tremendous damage to our diplomatic mission in Russia,” said Michael A. McFaul, who was ambassador to Russia under President Barack Obama. “That our president does not appreciate this obvious fact suggests he doesn’t understand what embassies do in the pursuit of American national interests.”

They do diplomacy! They gather intelligence! THERE ARE SPIES THERE!

But why would we spy on Trump’s best friend Russia? It’s not like Putin ordered the hacking of our 2016 American election to benefit Trump, just kidding yes he did, and Trump hasn’t stopped licking his face since.

WHAT THE HELL DOES PUTIN HAVE ON HIM? Was there some kind of naughty video shot of Trump when he was in Moscow in 2013? Does it involve some pee pee and some pretty ladies? Or are there videos of all the gross sex stuff the Steele Dossier suggests Trump has done in St. Petersburg? We are just curious.

Of course, as with all words that come flying out of Trump’s mouth, there’s more stupid here to unpack. Reza Aslan would like to point something out:

That’s right, babydolls. Donald Trump thinks Putin can fire U.S. government employees. Yep. He’s the president. Of the United States. For real, this is happening.

Is it time to start drinking yet? In Trump’s America the answer is always YES.

Wonkette salaries are fully funded by lovely readers like you! If you love us, be generous and click below to pay our salaries that we may buy booze!

[New York Times]

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  • Msgr_MΩment

    You want to reduce the payroll, Donnie? If there was only a pair of words you could speak to someone to terminate their employment….

    • FlownΩver

      Please Crom, let those words be “I quit.”

  • dslindc

    The pee pee tape is real (allegedly) (but probably).

    • Msgr_MΩment

      I hear it was filmed by Stanley Kubrik on the Sea of Tranquility.

      • Three Finger Salute

        PreciousBodilyFluids.mkv

  • Marsupial99

    “If Pooty continues to undermine America, he will be met with fiery kisses and furious hugs, like the world has never seen.”

  • Mr. Blobfish

    Who knew being president was so hard?

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Nobody. Nobody could have known.

  • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

    Cradle those Putin balls, Mr. President. Work that shaft!

  • armed_bears

    In Trump’s Amerika, it’s always drinky time, and nothing is ever OT, never ever.

  • AnnieGetYerFun

    It is ALWAYS time to start drinking yet.

    • gallbladder

      Drink o’clock, around the clock. I like it.

      • Regret

        The clock is round.
        So is the letter O.
        This must mean that any time ending in o’clock is drinking time.

        • gallbladder

          Bottoms-up!

  • JoeChristmas

    Is it double down time or was he just joking? News at 5 on your Sinclair Network News.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    I want to thank him because we’re trying to cut down on payroll

    And Donald can’t manage to find a way of doing so without relying on the actions of foreign leaders? Sad! Weak!

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Who knew it would be so hard to You’re Fired people?

  • ltmcdies

    what Reza Aslan said…was one of my first thoughts…does Trump not know Putin doesn’t fire Americans working for the US State Department?

    and yet did any reporter call him on his stupid…

    • proudgrampa

      No. They did not.

    • Buzz1313

      Never! Reporters never call Trump on his bullshit. Maybe he’s got dirt on their corporate overlords.

      • 🛶🗣️ Mr Canoehead 🛶🗣️

        Or they’re lazy.
        Or it’s not their job to do anything except repeat what they’re told.
        Or it’s just the political news culture: investigative reporting or challenging politicians is rude, and not the way we do things here.

  • DerrickWildcat

    I don’t care. We were going to pull all of our spies from your dumb country anyway. It doesn’t hurt at all.

  • JoeChristmas

    The Swindler is really just thanking them for creating all those Bots!!

  • janecita

    All this winning is so fucking tiring! It’s also really bad for my liver, and my sanity.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Is it time to start drinking yet? In Trump’s America the answer is always YES.

    Already tried that earlier this year…

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/f0682a3e615bab011690b6e31478bf3aa73da67cebbee1d85fc52ab238e44df8.jpg

  • MynameisBlarney
    • theblackdog

      So that’s how I can stop a force choke

      • MynameisBlarney

        Yup, lol

  • House0fTheBlueLights

    It’s not tapes. It’s money. He owes shit tons of money to people you don’t want to piss off.

    • mardam422

      Shit….Tons!!!

    • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

      He’s been laundering money for people you don’t want to piss off also too. Ultimately I think that is what take all of these clowns down.

    • 🛶🗣️ Mr Canoehead 🛶🗣️

      Or piss on.

  • Mr. Blobfish

    I wonder what conservative thought leaders Hannity, Limbaugh, Ingraham and Coulter think of this?

  • Msgr_MΩment

    Retweeted by Guess Who.
    https://twitter.com/PacificCommand/status/895835033038016512
    I thought Friday night fights was all about boxing.

    • Mr. Blobfish

      That’s reassuring.

    • UncleTravelingMatt
    • Anna Rompage

      We have what, a dozen or so B-1 bombers in the western pacific…

      Seems to me and awfully small force to take down an entire country that has all their weapons aimed at South Korea, Guam & Japan…

      • Bobathonic

        Much as they would prefer it, we usually don’t rely on USAF alone.

        • BigCSouthside

          Yeah, pay no attention to that Ohio Class parked off the coast.

  • Rick Hill

    Everyone:
    “How stoopid is he?”

    • Oblios_Cap

      A: Pretty fucking stupid.

    • MynameisBlarney

      He’s soooooo stupid, he just spent an hour staring at a carton of orange juice because it said “Concentrate”.

  • Snark Tank Full of Resistance
    • armed_bears

      Today, that picture is just eight guys saying “Hey, I’m in the 7 Degrees of Bacon!”

      • Oblios_Cap

        Baconz libel!

        • armed_bears

          From such a weird beginning, he really turned into an interesting actor.

          • MynameisBlarney

            Yeah, shame he bailed on the Tremors franchise though, lol

          • Snark Tank Full of Resistance

            He just had to cut loose…

          • MynameisBlarney

            Had to kick off those Sunday shoes.

          • armed_bears

            Although the bigger shame is that he and Kyra ever met Bernie Madoff.

          • armed_bears

            And I’d pay for a premium cable channel that was just Reba McEntire shooting giant worms.

          • MynameisBlarney

            Hehe…

            I’d watch that.

  • Oblios_Cap

    Cutting payroll to put Americans back to work. Thinking like a good capitalist.

  • MynameisBlarney
    • Oblios_Cap

      Is she in the first class section of Emirates Airlines?

      • armed_bears

        Ummm… I don’t see her here, but I’ll go look around.

        • SDGeoff3

          LOL!

    • armed_bears

      Plus, I gotta say, boobies.

      • MynameisBlarney

        That word is impossible to say without smiling.

      • WotsAllThisThen

        Chelsea your magnificent boobies, I read your book!

    • I adore this woman.

    • Marion in Savannah

      Just ordered that shirt, and an “It’s Mueller Time” shirt too.

      • armed_bears

        Yeah… I’m not quite ready for the Mueller Time tattoo, but I could do a T… and a tat is on the horizon.

  • memzilla Ω

    Here are the files Putin has:
    Bribes.xls
    Laundered.xls
    Script.doc
    Contract.doc
    PeeHookers.mp4

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      DJT_Ivankatexts.pdf

      • Bobathonic

        Eww.

      • Msgr_MΩment

        /spankbank/DJT_Ivankatexts.pdf

    • Three Finger Salute

      Not MP4. Matroska or bust.

  • Good_Gawd_Yall

    I heard someone astute last night say that if you need to put this in a form that Dolt can understand, you have to suggest that this is the equivalent of your firm’s biggest competitor firing all your employees.

  • Good_Gawd_Yall

    It’s not a pee-pee tape. It’s a snuff film.

  • Regret

    Yay! DRINKING!

  • beingreleased

    My understanding is that people were fired. The US diplomats weren’t, but there were a lot of Russian civilians hired there how did lose their jobs.

    • Oblios_Cap

      How will they afford their vodka and borscht? Oh, the humanity!

      • Weird Fishes

        SOCIALISM

    • beingreleased

      Not to imply that Trump isn’t an idiot or that Putin should be making our staffing decisions, but, you know.

  • mardam422

    At least he didn’t apologize, like that weakling Obama.

    • Three Finger Salute

      Or those Cucknadians. Sorry is a 4-letter word in ‘MERICA.

  • WotsAllThisThen

    They’re not official fired until it’s on twitter.

  • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

    The Russian Foreign Minister has said the North Korea rhetoric is over the top and they’re very concerned. We’re so fucked.

    • Three Finger Salute

      When you’ve lost Russia…

  • Paperless Tiger

    It sounded better in the original Manchurian.

    • Three Finger Salute

      The Muscovian Candidate.

  • Good_Gawd_Yall

    An Open Letter to Republican Congressmen and Vice President Mike Pence:

    It’s beyond time. The 25th Amendment will protect you. His people will be mad for a little while but they’re not going to get in their Hoverrounds and roll on Washington waving their AR-15s. They’re going to make angry memes and cuss a lot on 4chan. They may not vote for you in 2018 but if you don’t hurry, there won’t be a 2018 anyway.

    For the love of mike do something right for the first time this century, will you?

    No love, and not much hope you’ll listen,
    GGY

    • proudgrampa

      I am signing this petition.

      • armed_bears

        Me too also. Beyond time.

  • SayItWithWookies

    There’s only one government official on Putin’s payroll – though why that fuckhead hasn’t been fired yet is anyone’s guess.

  • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

    What does it take? Does he have to wear a blinking neon sign saying “I AM A RUSSIAN STOOGE”?

    • Bobathonic

      Please. “Oh that’s just a joke.”

      Odd how none of his “jokes” actually have identifiable humor.

      • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

        He finds them funny, in the “look at how I make you dance, worms” way.

        • armed_bears

          Suggest merging this thread with the Tremors thread above and shooting all worms that emerge.

      • Oblios_Cap

        Well, he is a joke. But the punchline sucks.

        • Bobathonic

          “Everyone dies” just doesn’t get them rolling in the aisles like it used to.

          • Three Finger Salute

            Earth dies at the end.

    • Three Finger Salute

      “Nyet nyet nyet…” -Curly Trump

    • Eileen Besse

      YES.

    • Baconzgood

      He’d still bet 33% of the vote because “it’s Trump being Trump”

  • MynameisBlarney
    • gallbladder

      It simply cannot be said enough: Off the fucking deep end.

  • Msgr_MΩment

    Golden opportunity, people. The last thing the Russkies will expect is a nuke coming from us.

    • Three Finger Salute

      “Golden”?

      ISWYDT

      • Msgr_MΩment

        Rockets showering down upon them?

        • Three Finger Salute

          Afternoon delight…?

  • You should ice that burn

    I’m pretty sure Vlady-Poot picked his cabinet,, so his power to fire US diplomats comes as no surprise..

  • DerrickWildcat

    Just lost 755 jobs. Thanks a lot Mr. Jobs President.

    • Mr. Jobs President can send them all to Wizzconsin to work for the tax break Taiwanese conglomerate.

      • gallbladder

        And the coal mines in WV. It’s coming back you know!

      • DerrickWildcat

        He just negated the Jobs he bragged about saving at Carrier.
        So he’s at zero job creation. Not counting Lawyers and Fact Checkers.

      • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

        Assuming the tax breaks can even pass the state legislature. There are actually Republicans in Wisconsin who are blanching at the new hole Trump and Walker blew into an already badly cobbled-together budget.

  • Joshua Norton

    I can see why Donnie is torn about who to believe over Russia’s reported interference: On one hand, it’s only the consensus of all US Intel agencies & NatSec advisors that it did happen. On other hand, Putin denied it. TWICE!

    • beingreleased

      He doesn’t seem torn at all.

    • Elvis Causticfellow

      I think it was the vehemence that did it.

    • Oblios_Cap

      It’s the third denial that seals the deal.

    • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

      And he asked him TWO DIFFERENT WAYS! (One while on his knees, the other while bent over Putin’s desk)

  • Assuming the week doesn’t end with Global Thermonuclear War, I should probably start learning how to read and speak Chinese since they’ll probably be the next ’empire’ or ‘superpower’ after the idiot runs us into the ground.

    • Mehmeisterjr

      Haven’t you heard? According to Sebastian Gorka we are now a “hyperpower,” probably because we are all hyperventilating.

      • The Wanderer

        It’s not original (but then, none of his thoughts are original). After the USSR collapsed in 1991, there was some discussion about what the USA should be called, since we were the biggest fish in the pond. “Pre-eminent power” was bruited about, but a few fashionable people suggested ‘hyperpower” to distinguish us from mere superpowers like the PRC, Russia, UK and France.

    • Marion in Savannah

      “In German and English I know how to count down, and I’m learning Chinese says Werner VonBraun.” (Tom Lehrer song)

    • Celtic_Gnome

      People thought Joss Whedon was quirky when he had the characters from Firefly mix bastardized Chinese in with English usage. Turns out he was prescient.

  • Red Bird

    Ugh! What holy Catholic novena do I have to say to see this idiot and his family thrown out of office?

    • Bobathonic

      AOT,K

      • Red Bird

        I’m lighting the candles as we speak.

    • MynameisBlarney

      I have no idea what that is, but whichever one it takes, get on that, NAO!

    • laughingnome

      Bury a statue of St. Joseph upside down in your garden.

      • Red Bird

        That’s to get your house to sell. I’m thinking St. Jerome or St. Michael.

        • laughingnome

          Well you could sell your house and move to Canada.

        • LucindathePook

          Thomas More is patron of politicians, and of “will no one rid me of this turbulent priest?” fame.

      • georgiaburning

        St Jude, for the impeachment. Somebody should start selling the candles specifically marked as such.

    • Marion in Savannah

      Well, St. Gregory Thaumaturgis is known as “the wonderworker.” Give him a try.

      http://www.catholic.org/saints/saint.php?saint_id=656

    • Snark Tank Full of Resistance

      Maybe try a prayer to St. Dymphna, the patron saint of mental health workers, to intercede.

      • Marion in Savannah

        That’s Ivanka’s favorite saint — isn’t she also patron of incest victims?

    • The Wanderer

      I’d prefer to invoke Sri Ganesha in His Aspect as Remover of Obstacles.

    • alpacapunchbowl

      Which one is the patron saint of lost causes? Anthony?

      • Marion in Savannah

        St. Jude is the best known. However, here’s hoping it’s not a lost cause!

        • alpacapunchbowl

          Agreed 100%! I was mostly being snarky, even on my worst days I cling to at least a glimmer of optimism.
          Wait, isn’t St. Jude the name of that children’s hospital? And he’s the patron saint of lost causes? That’s kind of…awful.
          Anyway, I should really be more up on this stuff, I was given a book of the saints for, probably my first communion and I loved all the crazy stories. So lurid.

          • Celtic_Gnome

            The one thing that distinguishes our saints is they weren’t no saints.

            Catholics love a good redemption story almost as much as a good martyrdom.

          • alpacapunchbowl

            Oh believe me, I know. I lived in Dublin right around the years before and after the Good Friday agreement in the late 90s.

      • LucindathePook

        Tony is lost other stuff–keys, wallets, glasses, like that there.

        • alpacapunchbowl

          Does he also cover lost democracy? Loss of global respect?

          • LucindathePook

            No, that gets us back into Jude territory. Or mebbe St. Thomas More.

          • alpacapunchbowl

            So confusing. And I went to Catholic kindergarten and HS!

        • Celtic_Gnome

          I always felt kind of sorry for St. Anthony. It’s like he gets to spend eternity sitting in Heaven answering prayers with, “Well, where the fuck do you remember seeing it last?”

          • LucindathePook

            It’s always the last place you look.

    • grindstone

      I pray for this, then realize, oh yeah, you don’t believe in prayer, or even if there’s a god to hear the prayers. But yes, I pray that he is removed from office safely and legally.

    • armed_bears

      That’s easy: Saint Dymphna….

      Saint Dymphna, martyr of purity, patroness of those who suffer with nervous and mental afflictions, beloved child of Jesus and Mary, pray to Them for me and obtain my request.

      • armed_bears

        Catholic saints are like Trump tweets: There’s one for every occasion.

  • I remember when expelling all of the diplomats was the step right before open warfare.

    Putin is probably amazed that Trump is too stupid to notice.

    • gallbladder

      Amazed, but probably not surprised.

    • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

      I’m pretty sure even Putin is getting sick to hell of what a fucking moron he is. He thought Donnie would be his useful idiot, but instead he’s a useless idiot.

  • I watched the video of Trump and I swear I saw Putins lips moving.
    http://ikemefunanwabueze.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/05/Puppet1.jpg

  • Ricky Gay

    Maybe that was an attempt to sound tough with Putin?
    Shorter: Fail?

  • RobKanC

    I can’t wait till Putin decides to annex Alaska and Mr. Orange thanking Putin for saving us money that we spend on Alaska for maintaining roads and such.. Imagine the potential cost savings. Yooge!!!

    • Red Bird

      Make sure they keep Sarah.

    • Three Finger Salute

      “I can see Chinatown from my house.” -Putin, looking over at Vancouver.

      “Oh, you piece of shit!” -Justin, to Trump as Putin’s tanks roll in to B.C.

  • UncleTravelingMatt

    Did they burn all their papers, or just hand them over to GRU?

    • Oblios_Cap

      They already had them, I believe.

  • Three Finger Salute

    “They are still paid State employees.”

    …for now.

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      “Let’s say that they do a job that’s not good, or a job that they didn’t finish, or a job that was way late. I’ll deduct from their contract, absolutely. That’s what the country should be doing.”

      — Some Fucking Moron

  • Oblios_Cap

    I’ll bet we don’t even have an Ambassador to Russia; it’s only been 200 days since the administration took office.

    • armed_bears

      isn’t that huntsman? (you know, the one who speaks Chinese. ffs?)

      • Msgr_MΩment

        Any of his girls speak Russian, maybe?
        Asking for a droog.

        • Bobathonic

          Local milk people libelz?

      • Oblios_Cap

        James Tefft, from Wisconsin. I guess Trump hasn’t gotten around to firing him yet.

    • Three Finger Salute

      Do we even have Ambassadors to anywhere? Last I heard, he was meeting with some local milk people to discuss sending Palin Godiva riding naked on a moose as ambassador to his Newfoundland Friend™.

  • Mehmeisterjr

    Hey, speaking of embassies, Trump has nominated Jamie McCourt to be Ambassador toBelgium France. (It was originally Belgium but she got a quick bump upwards.)

    As is not so unusual, a large part of her appeal was the fact that she gave $400,000 to the Trump campaign, although her superb managerial skills with the LA Dodgers and her canny negotiations with her ex-husband must certainly have played a part.

    Seriously, Frank McCourt and Donald Trump? She must have the worst judgment in men that the world has ever seen.

  • Msgr_MΩment

    What’s going on in the White House?
    https://www.facebook.com/1990Age/videos/841766682646315/

    • gallbladder

      What the fuck did I just watch?

      • Marion in Savannah

        Beats me…

  • OneYieldRegular

    Of course Trump is happy about diplomats being expelled – and about scientists being sidelined, and about regulations being eliminated, and about due process being jettisoned. His is a Mafia mentality – minus any associated intelligence – and he sees zero value in anything that stands in the way of power and profit.

  • Eileen Besse

    Okay, drinkytime is NOW officially here….

  • BigCSouthside

    Vladimir Putin is the only person, including the highest ranking American political allies he needs to push his agenda, that the president has not spoken ill of.

    How is this a thing? Seriously. How the fuck is this real?

  • The Librarian

    Haven’t heard “You’re Fired” from the Trump admin, so what money is being saved? Just another bs line to keep the goobs happy and dumber.

  • Baconzgood

    (Pause snark)

    Really? This is his response to getting diplomats getting thrown of an aggressive and openly anti-democratic world power. One who spent decades….no..lifetimes of anti NATO propaganda to ensure an empire of toughs and murders stay in power?

    This is a major MAJOR political hit that needs retribution. Russia is severing diplomatic alliances for a petty “tit-for-tat”. The fact that the POTUS says that’s a bonus… I’m flabbergasted. It’s like saying “it’s a diarrhea milk shake but the ice cream they used is tasty”

    (We now resume our regularly scheduled snark)

    • Bebecca

      How many tweets did he make about something negative Merrill Streep said about him but his response to Putin throwing diplomats out of the country is good, he did us a favor.

      • Baconzgood

        I grew up in the age of “any second the bombs will fall and the living will envy the dead”. It was crazy. Now we have a president that likes Russia. Say what you will, at least the Soviets knew no one wanted to escalate the cold war into a hot one. But Trump….he seems like he admires Putin. He would like to be a Russian business man rather than an American citizen. The funny thing is Russian business men would eat him for breakfast (don’t believe me look at the library for books about post Yeltin Russia).

        • Baconzgood

          (Addition to my statement)

          WHO THE FUCK DOES THAT? THIS IS RUSSIA.

  • laughingnome

    Those pee tapes must be a real doozy.

    • amrak63

      Maybe it’s something a lot worse than pee play.

      Maybe the “hookers” were underage, and the guy the wingnuts think is God’s Anointed President is a pedophilic rapist.

      • The Wanderer

        Pedophilia and snuff?

      • Bmaccnm

        It wouldn’t matter to his base. Underage snuff? Nyahh nyahh I can’t hear you, it’s all MSM fake news. The base will believe anything, as long as they are still allowed to believe in SOMETHING. We’re well and truly fucked.

  • MynameisBlarney

    This douchebag needs to be fucking fired at the very least.
    Motherfuckin traitor is rooting for NK to nuke California.

    http://www.rawstory.com/2017/08/nra-tv-host-openly-roots-for-north-korea-to-nuke-california-instead-of-guam/?comments=disqus

    • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

      Can’t wait for Dana Loesch to defend him, because white guy.

      • Bobathonic

        NRA, also too.

    • hudson srinivasan

      #1. i can’t even about bombing US territory.
      #2. how the fuck is this guy representing a lobby for firearms, when he does not even understand basic meteorology? Fucking the winds flow from west to east. How hard is it to figure out the consequences of nuking a western city?

    • Dr. Rrrrrobotnik

      Fun thing is, treason actually does apply here since a state of war technically exists between the U.S. and NK.

      • Three Finger Salute

        I look forward to referring to this traitor from now on as Grunt Stenchfield.

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      Hurrr hurrr hurrr ignorant pigshit mofo? You do realize that the Central Valley is red as hell, an a big source of most of the nations produce? Your ranching land baron buddies might get really upset with you.

    • Three Finger Salute

      Told ya. They think it’s full of dirty Mexicans, q*eers, degenerate Hollywood libruls, and other coastal elites — and would love it if 55 electoral votes got zapped out of the country.

    • jesterpunk

      Fucking treasonist pieces of shit. (I seem to be saying that a lot this week and it seems to fit a lot this week)

    • amrak63

      The NRA can KMA.

  • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

    I took that as his attempt at his own brand of petulant tough guy sarcasm, which went over poorly: He’s the Predisent repulsive as that idea might be- people are going to take his words literally; and no matter what, it was just breathtakingly stupid. It wasn’t a constructive comment and it didn’t contain a solution.
    And way to go, shithead, make sure to let the world know that you think that the employees of your own overseas embassies and diplomatic corps, who put their lives on the line for this country every day, are worthless. Did I say you were a shithead?

    • gallbladder

      The concept of Drumpf and suggestions of solutions should never–and I mean fucking ever–appear in the same sentence. Unless, of course, where and when impeachment is inferred, condoned, and/or carried out.

  • Bebecca

    He is so stupid (or willfully ignorant) he doesn’t know what they do which means they don’t do anything.

  • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

    Not to mention that I read some quotes from some State Dept employees that this is totally blowing their minds, is trashing moral and we can expect many more to head for the exits.

    • jesterpunk

      Its going to take a long time to fix the damage he has done so far.

      • yyyaz

        I am at 90% convinced now that will be “never.”

        • jesterpunk

          It can be done, but its going to take a long time just to get people who actually know how the different agencies run back into those agencies. It wont be done in 4 years and might not even be done in 8 but it is possible. Just like the last few times Republicans fucked up government and it took 8 years for Democrats to fix the mess and get us back to where we started before Republicans fucked it up.

          • Maggielle

            I remember time back way back after Obama was first elected and then Hillary Clinton showed up for her first day at State, and all the State Department people were crowding the hall and perched on the banisters cheering because at last the grown ups were back. O what we was.

          • amrak63

            In other words, we are never going to fix this country until:

            (1) Stupid White Folks learn to quit voting Republican.

            Or:

            (2) Stupid White Folks no longer form an effective majority in a sufficient number of states. (I say “effective” to recognize the facts of gerrymandering and voter suppression.)

            Disclosure: I am a hopefully non-Stupid White Guy.

  • Walter Wellstone

    Doesn’t he know he alone can reduce the government payroll if he wants to? He seriously seems to think Putin is his boss. What a fucking idiot.

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      He’s right, though. Putin IS his boss.

  • William

    That’s right Vlad. I WANTED you to take my lunch money and make me do your algebra homework. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/0d8c31761c44f80e1c47a7ff436b032688a4fc63a88782847e3c5cde5203c6a1.gif

  • armed_bears

    So on MSNBC just now, a military analyst was asked if the “locked and loaded” level of rhetoric was ever appropriate:

    “No. No… I mean, well, no. No. Just No.”

    • Joe Beese

      What about Charles Bronson?

      • armed_bears

        Or Heston?

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      It’s the kind of tough guy talk Bush used during Iraq and after 9-11 that he came to regret later.

      • armed_bears

        Well, that turned out OK, I guess…

    • NastyBossetti

      It is appropriate in fiction only.

  • The Wanderer

    “Mind-bogglingly stupid” is a hamster-stranglingly low level of understatement.

  • marxalot

    Ten bucks says he thought that was a sure-fire laugh line.

    • gallbladder

      I hear his next presser will feature a laugh track and paid studio audience of hyenas.

  • MynameisBlarney

    Awwww…
    The poor dears. Bless their little ol’ hearts.

    https://www.democraticunderground.com/1017452045

  • Proud Liberal

    And fucking Republicans will do absolutely nothing. It’s been nice knowing you America.

    • laughingnome

      It’s like every huge mess. They will wait for the democrats to come back into power to clean it up and then wait to take over again when things are righted.

  • theblackdog

    Even if the State Dept could find open positions for 755 now idle diplomats and staff, I don’t know how many of them would actually want to stick around. Statements like that are a morale killer and I am betting that many are heading for the door.

    Heck, I’m in an agency where we haven’t been directly targeted (yet) but morale has taken a big hit, so I suspect it’s much worse for those who have been.

    • marxalot

      State as an agency is already so closely tied to the mood and priorities of the Secretary, I can’t imagine how close to walking onto the Blue Line and never coming back folks at Foggy Bottom are right now.

      • theblackdog

        Ugh, and it is one of the toughest decisions to have to make, especially for those who went in because they wanted to perform a public service.

  • William
    • The Wanderer

      I want one!

    • hudson srinivasan

      dissapointed – no devanagari or bangla or telugu or tamil or kannada. they may be on the back. but upfists for the spirit.

      • Snark Tank Full of Resistance

        Upfist for the ASL, as well.

        • hudson srinivasan

          that was right up there. sooper cool.

    • OrG in London

      I WANT!

      • MynameisBlarney

        Yeah, the shirt’s nice too.

    • TakingAmes

      I love her. She is who I’d be if I did (more) drugs and knew Jennifer Aniston.

  • Jenny

    This moron is so clueless that diplomatic service is subject to commitment to the state department for at least 10 years, possible 20. Hell I can’t even remember but you’re married to the job. They just can’t be fired by some other country’s ruler. Derp.

    • marxalot

      Everyone I know/knew who was either at State or going into it was a committed, dedicated, and highly intelligent person. Knowing that most of them are probably half-frantic or half-drunk right now is personally painful, but Jesus Allah Bowie what it means for the diplomatic service is tragic. I have faith that those weird, wonky, and wonderful sons of bitches will dig in and keep trying to do their damn jobs. I hope they’re allowed to.

      • Jenny

        Working for the state department is something I would love to do. My kids will graduate hs and I will be just young enough to meet the required time commitment. I doubt I’d make it in, but I am still going to apply anyway.

  • HazooToo

    I’m sorry I keep OTing, but this is a beautiful piece of art that demands sharing: https://twitter.com/NedSparks/status/895039454347497472

  • Proud Liberal
    • Three Finger Salute

      What’s this text from?

    • hudson srinivasan

      from where is this?

    • amrak63

      As I said downthread (or upthread if you’re reading Oldest first), I am beginning to suspect Putin knows Covfefe did something much fouler than hiring a pee show.

      • Proud Liberal
        • amrak63

          Given his creepy obsession with his own daughter, I’m guessing he found at least one underage Russian who looked like Ivanka and boinked–or raped–her (or them).

          • Wild Cat

            Or entering a teenage beauty pageant dressing room.

            This is not normal.

            He rapes young girls.

            And Putin has the tapes of his trysts with underage Eastern European prostitutes.

          • amrak63

            Technical point: If they are underage, they are not prostitutes, but victims of human trafficking. (For that matter, so are many adult prostitutes.)

            But no, I would not be surprised if the sumbitch did that.

          • Wild Cat

            I was shocked to find out a few years ago from a Swiss friend that one could enter the profession legally at age 16. So even rich countries have their, uhm, quirks. (I think the law was finally changed to 18, although I think 21 would be preferable.)

          • blarg

            Just to be clear, relations with a minor is always rape, by definition.

          • amrak63

            True; I was thinking of forcible rape, but even if the minor “consents”, it is still rape in a legal sense.

        • proudgrampa

          They’ve got this guy by his BALLS.

      • jowgajen

        Really anything that undermines Two Scoops’ sense of ego is sufficient though. Anything that *he* can’t accept as being less than amazing, huge, perfect, etc. is enough to drive him to extreme behavior. It’s a signature of his personality disorder.

        • The Wanderer

          Infantilism?

      • MynameisBlarney

        Poo tapes.

        • amrak63

          I suspect Wild Cat has nailed it.

          • MynameisBlarney

            Yup. Very likely.

        • proudgrampa

          Pee, pedo, and poop. Is there NOTHING Fearless Leader can’t do?

          • MynameisBlarney

            Well, yes.
            He can’t president worth a fuck.

          • proudgrampa

            True dat.

      • Wild Cat

        He’s a pedophile. And they have the tapes.

        • yyyaz

          And the transcripts in 13 languages, the receipts from the pimps and everyone’s current addresses, e-mail accounts and bank records.

          • Wild Cat

            Not to be snarky, but Russia and other impoverished nations are magnets for sex tourists, especially pedophiles.
            Germany cracked down like crazy on these degenerates.
            Lord knows what they have on Rush Limbaugh, who has even phonier marriages than the idiot in the WH.

          • yyyaz

            Errmm. I wasn’t being snarky. I have lost all sense of snark today. I meant every word of it.

    • SDGeoff3

      May he live in fear.

  • TheGrandWazoo2

    -Putin tells Trump to pretend like he’s going to ease sanctions on Russia.

    -House and Senate overwhelmingly pass bills to prevent Trump from easing sanctions.

    -Putin kicks out hundreds of diplomats/spies in retaliation for sanctions Obama did without repercussions.

    Putin wins.

    • hudson srinivasan

      with current leadership he is always putin in a win.

  • azeyote

    trumps just happy putin hasn’t fired him yet – when he does there’s already a tape locked and loaded –

  • MynameisBlarney
  • aureolaborealis

    Alternative theory: This is him caught flat-footed by Putin and trying to say expelled diplomats don’t matter … hell, we wanted you to expel them! Kind of like a fighter shaking his head after getting clocked to show his opponent that it didn’t hurt him. Which is the most fool-proof way of knowing that it did.

    • SDGeoff3

      Can the peepee tapes be far behind?
      Hmmm?

      • Notreelyhelping

        It’d be a great time to release them, while Trump and McConnell are slap-fighting.

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      That was my thought. His brand of petulant sarcasm that doesn’t translate well.

  • The Wanderer

    Since we’re on the topic of spanking, etc.:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EHID8hMgWKc

  • Internet Hitler

    Dear President Putin,

    Please dismiss Donald Trump at once. He is just not working out in his current position.

    Also, staff complains he has been caught stealing lunches from the break room.

    Love,
    ‘M’rica

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      And also too, he leaves pee spots on the toilet in the women’s restroom.

    • Snark Tank Full of Resistance

      Also, too, he microwaves fish.

      • Bobathonic

        THE MONSTER!

      • proudgrampa

        GAWD, I hate people who do that!!!

        • MynameisBlarney

          RIGHT?!?!
          Everyone KNOWS you use a toaster oven to reheat fried fish!

          FYI though, some restaurants nuke fish that’s on the menu as “broiled”.
          It’s much faster.

          • proudgrampa

            Hey! Keep your “FYI” to yourself. I revel in my delusions! ;-)

      • MynameisBlarney

        *gasps and clutches pearls*

        That’s barbaric!

      • Courser_Resistance

        Not a lot of microwaved fish in my lifetime. Once someone set a Hot Pocket on for something like 50 minutes instead of 5. The burned cardboard formed gasses that cleared the building.

        For a time, microwaved popcorn was a huge deal. Several buildings I worked in had workers who preferred burnt popcorn! So every fucking afternoon they were there, we had the always-convenient fire alarm. Awesome, I got to descend 18 or 20 floors. In heels. I was out of that kind of workforce for a while and when I went back I found out that most property management companies had banned microwave popcorn from the building. They were getting fined by the Fire Department for too many BS calls. What a relief!

        • Maggielle

          I swear, I LOVE a good office story. There are always so many bizarre squirmishes going on in offices. It’s why I walk dogs now.

          • Bebecca

            I have two people on opposite sides of the political spectrum almost come to blows, seriously, about once a week. It’s very inappropriate for an office.

          • Celtic_Gnome

            I worked for an elected state official in Ohio in the 80’s. The area I worked in had a hallway next to it that ran from the lobby back to the administrative offices. The walls on our side of that hallway were floor to ceiling glass so people walking past could see all the busy little bees buzzing about.

            One day, the Legislative Counsel goes tearing down the hallway toward the lobby at a full run in heels. We later found out the front desk receptionist called back and said, “I got this guy John Glenn out here. Says he has an appointment.”

      • amrak63

        If he were a Rubberhead, he would throw fish.

        (I wonder who will get that reference.)

        • SeeTrain65

          Comedy is not pretty.

          • amrak63

            Not even when you’re a ramblin’ guy.

        • Snark Tank Full of Resistance

          Lew Zealand is a Rubberhead?

      • JustDon’tSayDignity

        And canned clams.

  • Proud Liberal
    • Joe Beese

      Now they’ve got shit going on in China??

      I give up, man.

      • proudgrampa

        Ivanka wasn’t over there for her health, man.

      • Courser_Resistance

        Did you miss Trump getting a whole pile of trademarks approved? Or Kushner family basically selling green cards to wealthy Chinese business types to invest in their overpriced money pit?

        • Three Finger Salute

          Also Ivanka’s overpriced ripoff crap being made in slave-labor factories, in some cases by kids. That cunt is such an icy, psychopathic bitch, she makes Sharon Stone’s character in Basic Instinct look like a friendly Canadian soccer mom.

          • JustDon’tSayDignity

            That would be one hot soccer mom …I’ll be in my bunk.

          • 🛶🗣️ Mr Canoehead 🛶🗣️

            That’s hockey mom.

        • Joe Beese

          Oh, I’m sure The Family has thumbs in pies all over the place. But the wording of this made Russia sound relatively insignificant compared to China. And there’s so much in Russia already.

        • Don’t forget the Mooch suddenly selling his interests in his business to Chinese “businessmen” at a suspiciously high rate.

      • Three Finger Salute

        Give a whole new meaning to the term “yellow menace.”

    • Beanz&Berryz

      It sounds pretty vague….

      not really…

  • WotsAllThisThen

    So Trump’s foreign policy looks something like this

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=urnRVr1P2bc

  • SDGeoff3

    I was debating how to approach drinking today; what to have, how many. I decided yes.
    Thank you for enabling!
    Love and cocktails, SDG3

    • Proud Liberal

      Hey, it’s 5:00 somewhere.

      • SDGeoff3

        It better be!

  • Zonath

    So explain how this “extreme vetting” works when you’re cutting staff and payroll at the very Department which would be doing a whole lot of said vetting?

    Oh, it’s just code for “keep out the blacks and browns”? You should have just said so…

  • writersbloc
    • jesterpunk

      Dammit, that was his sekret plan to defeat ISIS, he was going to make them partner with him on a casino.

      • Lisacmckinnon

        Creations48b

        Google is paying 97$ per hour! Work for few hours and have longer with friends & family! :!ad198d:
        On tuesday I got a great new Land Rover Range Rover from having earned $8752 this last four weeks.. Its the most-financialy rewarding I’ve had.. It sounds unbelievable but you wont forgive yourself if you don’t check it
        :!ad198:
        ➽➽
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    • SeeTrain65

      There are days I regret self-editing my posts. Today is not one of those days.

      If I’d posted what I was going to post here, I’d have been Banhammered back to the Stone Age.

  • Ron Spangler

    In this case … JUST THIS ONE CASE … I am thinking maybe he was actually being sarcastic, and the response is overblown.

    • Ron Spangler

      Also most of the embassy staff who will go are Russians in support roles. Contractors, not Federal employees. FWIW.

      • Celtic_Gnome

        Donnie’ll take care of them. He loves him some contractors.

    • jesterpunk

      He refuses to criticize Putin for anything and on BillO’s show he even put down the US to defend Putin. Hell he has criticized Kristen Stewart (9 times on twitter) then he has criticized Putin (0 times anywhere). So no I dont think he was being sarcastic.

    • MynameisBlarney

      No.
      I sincerely doubt he has the mental capacity for sarcasm.

    • ziggywiggy

      When I heard him saying that at first I thought he was trying to make an incredibly stupid joke, but then he just kept going and going, repeating how grateful he was. Then I realized he’s serious and joking, leaving himself an escape to say I was joking, but he didn’t actually realize what he was saying was just plain idiotic.

  • Michael R

    Has anyone seen a list of Kim Jong Un’s demands ?
    I saw one story where he wanted someone who was trained to assassinate him turned over , but he must have certain goals , and you really don’t hear about them .
    If you want Trump we can talk .

  • OrG in London

    Fucking Moran.

  • Randy Riddle

    I’m not sure where the intrepid Wonkette staff is located, but, if you’re in DC, I was wondering if anyone has listened to the radio station a few blocks from the White House that Putin bought a while back.

    Of course, I’m sure you were grateful it replaced banjos.
    http://dcist.com/2017/06/russian-funded_news_station_replace.php

    • TJ Barke

      Oh come on!

    • yyyaz

      I posted this when it happened. No fucks left to give.

    • puredog

      “the White House that Putin bought a while back.”
      Antecedents, how do they work?

      • Randy Riddle

        I think the correct response is “I saw what you did there.”

  • Snark Tank Full of Resistance
  • William
    • SeeTrain65

      “I’m Fire!”

      “I’m Fury!”

      (deep voice) “I’m Joe.”

    • JustDon’tSayDignity

      Hi! I’m from the internet. This blue ribbon is for you!

  • Mavenmaven

    The only thing worse than Trump trying to be serious is Trump trying to be clever.

  • SDGeoff3

    Trump thinks Putin fired hundreds of State employees. We’re fucked, but good.

    • TundraGrifter

      Yeh – outsourcing management of the United States Department of State to the Godless bedwetting pinko Commie bastards.

      Is this winning or what?

      • SDGeoff3

        If it is, I’m tired of it. So much winning.

  • miss_grundy

    This is what happens when you allow a shitgibbon to win an election and he doesn’t even know how civil service works. Or diplomacy. Or the federal government. He thinks he can run government like a family business. Which in his case is running a RICO organization.

    • yyyaz

      This is how democracy dies.

      • TundraGrifter

        Actually, I’m thinking this is how democracy is going to thrive.

        • Rick Hill

          As long as they still allow people to vote. Looks like they are working very hard to nip that in the bud

      • puredog

        Democracy Dies in Derpness.

    • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

      He actually knows nothing about either government or business. Why this is hard for people to see is beyond me. Is the siren song of being told “you’re better than THOSE OTHER PEOPLE, I love you and will fix everything and you’ll be rich” really so alluring? I guess it is. I’ve said it before, he’s the morons’ Nigerian scammer.

      • 🛶🗣️ Mr Canoehead 🛶🗣️

        Spy Magazine had his number in the 80s.

  • Michael R
    • Rick Hill

      Today….we are all….Mary Hartman.

      • Randy Riddle

        Today, we are all drowning in a bowl of soup.

  • TundraGrifter

    The guy with the self-described “world’s greatest memory” sure has trouble recalling people just as soon as they’ve stepped in the shit.

    This is a well established pattern.

  • Hanaka

    Some day we’re all going to think back on how the pee hookers held our country hostage for four terrible years. Of course, we’ll be living in a nuclear wasteland so we’ll all have orange skin by then, but we’ll be laughing about the pee hookers for sure.

    • NeoliberalBanksterCaptainHowdy

      Hey, the tape will have come out by then!

      • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

        But we won’t have anything to watch it on.

  • Weird Fishes

    I think he’s a big dummy and people are sorry that he was ever elected!

    • Three Finger Salute

      SAD!

      • Weird Fishes

        Well, I certainly am.

  • Fartknocker

    If makes the State Department employees feel better Cheeto Mussolini will stop by on his way home to that ugly White House and give a nice speech in front of the Memorial Plaques for State Department personnel killed in the line of duty at the Eisenhower Office Building. His speech during the first week of this Presidency helped motivate a large number of CIA employees when he did the same thing in front of the CIA Memorial Wall.

    • JustDon’tSayDignity

      Though maybe not the motivation he had in mind…

    • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

      What State Department employees?

  • Three Finger Salute

    International leaders Trump has shaded on Twitter:

    German Chancellor Person Who Runs Germany, Angela Merkel
    http://i0.wp.com/media.globalnews.ca/videostatic/803/627/trump-tweet.png

    Canadian Prime Minister President, Justin Trudeau
    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/CrNsXPHVUAA0dJN.jpg

    Australian Prime Minister Dumb Dealmaker, Malcom Turnbull (+ Obama)
    https://assets.bwbx.io/images/users/iqjWHBFdfxIU/iykSApI1L8GQ/v0/800x-1.jpg

    Saudi Dopey Prince, Alwaleed Talal
    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DAXlS8rUIAABHtX.jpg

    North Korean No-Life Guy, Kim Jong Un
    https://en-volve.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/07/Screen-Shot-2017-07-04-at-7.43.52-AM.png

    Scottish (Former) Dumb Leader, Alex Salmond
    https://ichef.bbci.co.uk/news/624/cpsprodpb/296F/production/_92370601_trump.jpg

    Pathetic London Mayor, Sadiq Khan
    http://newswerthy.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/06/Trump-Response.png

    Lying Fake News Evil Russian Dictator, Vladimir Putin
    https://www.smashingmagazine.com/images/404-error-pages/twitter.gif

    • puredog

      Is China going to move on NOK like a bitch? NEWS AT 11!

  • whitroth

    Please, please Mr. Trump. Paul Ryan has been saying mean things about you, and also he didn’t pass a health deform bill. Please tell him that you think about him like you think about Mitch Mollus, and nastier thoughts. PRETTY PLEASE WITH SUGAR ON IT!!!

    (Oh, Mr. Speaker of the House, about that Bill of Impeachment….)

  • Panika MCD

    can Putin fire Tsarina Von Clownstick?

  • goonemeritus

    It won’t be that long before Trump will be forced to deny he knows himself.

    • gratuitous

      He routinely denies he said things he said. Apparently, Trump doesn’t quite grasp the concept of video or audio taping.

      • bbayliss

        Or self awareness.

      • Pisto75666

        Narcissists rarely (if ever) do.

      • Miss Dill

        You mean “tapps.”

  • Ωbjectifier

    Just heard on the radio that Congress is drafting legislation prohibiting the president from launching a pre-emptive nuclear strike against North Korea. That such a thing is necessary is chilling.

    • OneWhiteWhisker

      Seriously?? That is…wow.

    • RobKanC

      You can’t pass legislation preventing something if its already done

      https://pixel.nymag.com/imgs/daily/selectall/2017/02/09/09-roll-safe.w710.h473.jpg

    • NeoliberalBanksterCaptainHowdy

      Can they draft legislation to knee him in the groin?

    • puredog

      I don’t think Congress can do this. Or, at least, there may be a serious question whether they can do this.

    • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

      Yeah, I already used #resistbot to fax my senators and congresscritter telling them to support it — but since the senators are Burr and Tillis, I doubt it’ll have an effect.

  • Scrofula

    That’s the kind of “never admit you were wrong” attitude I admire in my world leaders! “These bombs falling on us save on demolition costs for my new infrastructure plan!”

    • NeoliberalBanksterCaptainHowdy

      Whuh oh . . . look who’s back . . .

      • Scrofula

        Who said I left? Oh, you, are you referring to you?

        • NeoliberalBanksterCaptainHowdy

          Either or both. I took a long break. Howya doin, did you move to, where is it, where the prison is?

          • Scrofula

            Oh you and your euphemisms. No, didn’t have to move. But I am unemployed again, but now an addict, so progress.

          • NeoliberalBanksterCaptainHowdy

            You’re well enough to type on the internets, at least. Glad to see you again, I’ll be around here (no breaks again at the moment).

          • Scrofula

            In infrequent but glorious bursts of short duration, I remind everyone I never left, can never leave. My short break was due to work followed by an inability to consume news after around Jan 20th. Your excuse?

          • NeoliberalBanksterCaptainHowdy

            Oh, it was like, there was a sketchiness outbreak in the threads (like multiple unpleasantly weird things at once) and I felt like taking a short break, and it turned into a long break, that was all. Also I moved, only about 2 blocks but it took forever. I’ve been in my new place since the first and I still have a shitload of un-moving to do, and I’m not really doing any of it.

          • Scrofula

            Well, now that I’ve waited a few days, tell me tell me about this sketchiness. The work gig really did put me out, and couldn’t stomach coming back for a while. Been living at Bluelight spamming forums telling kids not to drink hand sanitizer. And being antifa to the fa’s at Drugs-forum

  • Ha ha! Funny man, that President Trump!

    Always with the jokes!

  • puredog

    I have come to the reluctant conclusion that this Administration does not give a single tiny shit about my liver.

  • La forza del resistino

    Donald can add onto his Russia mantra of ‘I’m not under investigation, I have no deals in Russia, no buildings and now no State Dept in Russia’.

    • amrak63

      “Vladimir Who?”

  • JustDon’tSayDignity

    And here I was, just wondering which post should get this here sign:
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/d31c5150c4ef9a5e4a60ebe2da6f3796464b0f2a8a217a4d53b3727adc00f814.jpg

  • Lyly Sirivong

    It’s like a very bad and very unappealing remake of the Secretary.

  • William
    • Ducksworthy

      Puutin likes me more would settle it.

  • handyhippie65

    is it any wonder alcoholism is on the rise?

    • whitroth

      And painkillers.

      • 🛶🗣️ Mr Canoehead 🛶🗣️

        If Trump was serious about reducing opiate abuse, he’d resign.

  • Vicious Babushka

    What does Vlad have on Donald? Well besides the pee tape there are other tapes with other bodily fluids. Use your imagination and throw up in your mouth.

    But let’s assume, just for a moment, that precious bodily fluids are not the most important things that Cheeto Pendejo cares about. What he cares about, more than anything else, are his moneys! And Vlad knows that Cheeto has far fewer moneys than he brags about. Like, not only is he not a billionaire but he is probably not even a millionaire, just a thousandaire. Maybe he lives on an allowance provided by the Russian Mafiya, who also hold the title to all of his golf clubs and apartment buildings, maybe even also too the gold plated toilets at Trump Tower its very self!

    Cheeto owes many, many rubles to the Russian mob and Vlad is the only one standing between him and a pair of cement boots, or whatever it is that Russian loan sharks to do those who stiff them.

    • whitroth

      It’s more than that, Jim! Vlad & friends have been laundering Real Money through Trump for years, and Trump gets a cut. And all of that was *before* he started running, meaning he is *so* guilty that he should be spending the rest of his life +20 yrs behind bars for that….

      • You’re right – it’s the money, and the fact that Don has convinced himself that he’s great buddies with the Russians oligarchs.

  • WeaselPoo

    Trump’s priorities are his ass and keeping the Russians that own it happy.

  • NeoliberalBanksterCaptainHowdy

    ¡¡¡BINGO!!!

    Once again*, the “progressive” “true Left” is channeling . . . Lyndon LaRouche!

    We might also like to know that Ray McGovern has a longstanding relationship with the fringe-iest of the fringe: Lyndon Larouche-affiliated organizations. (If you’re not familiar with financial fraud and perpetual conspiracy peddler LaRouche, do follow the links.) When his right-wing detractors pointed out this problematic connection in 2003, McGovern reportedly claimed to know nothing about LaRouche and saw “no downside” to contributing to LaRouche media. He’s had 14 years to learn, and has apparently not done so, since he’s still nattering on about the Deep State to LaRouchePAC and in fact “broke” this story to LaRouchePac before The Nation decided to give it credibility.

    Why Is The Nation Giving Space to Tinfoil Haberdashers and Pro-Putin Propagandists?
    Posted by Aphra Behn at Friday, August 11, 2017

    http://www.shakesville.com/2017/08/why-is-nation-giving-space-to-tinfoil.html

    *This stuff is documented going back to the 1990s.

  • NeoliberalBanksterCaptainHowdy

    Get Off Kamala Harris’s Back

    When Barack Obama, himself a former constitutional law professor emerged on the scene in 2004, reminding the country of its best self, he was using the playbook of Barbara Jordan. In the current moment, Representative Maxine Waters, who is decidedly more phlegmatic than Jordan, has been slotted into this role. While I absolutely love the surly, fuck-deficient manner in which she keeps holding the Trump administration accountable, I am clear that there is a way that we always ask black women to do the labor of saving our democracy. Whether Jordan calling for Nixon’s impeachment, Waters holding Steve Mnuchin’s feet to the fire, or Harris grilling Trump appointees during congressional hearings, black women are always seen as the keepers of our democratic integrity. And then those on the far left use this same labor that we do to save democracy to argue that we are too deeply invested in the establishment.

    http://www.cosmopolitan.com/politics/a11646941/kamala-harris-criticism-sanders-left/

    • Black women also voted for Hillary.
      Unlike some OTHER women I could mention (by percentile, not knocking those who did).
      Black women have been silently and diligently working to save family, home, town, state and country for eons and have been repeatedly beat upon by all sides for thanks.

      • The Militant Homosexual Agenda

        Which, IMO, is the message that Beyoncé’s “Formation” was all about. It wasn’t any Black Panther BS. It was about black women uniting to stop this madness.

  • mailman27

    THIS is the thing that I thought would bring this administration to its knees (its needs, JK). It got next to no mentions on any broadcast I heard today.
    tl;dr we’re doomed.

  • BoatOfVelociraptors

    James, buddy. Vladimir just called, he spoke with the queen and you’ve been fired.

    #no dramatic missile action
    #calls HR
    007 hangs up and heads home.

  • sosuume

    PUTIN: You hang up!
    TRUMP: No, you hang up!

  • Bitter Scribe

    Goddamn it, I just snagged a freelance job that will require me to work all weekend, plus I’m refinishing my deck, so not a single drink for me all weekend! I have to put up with this shit sober! IT’S NOT FAIR!!!

    • The Militant Homosexual Agenda

      Have you considered meth?

  • Manhattan123

    Those hooker pee tapes must be fucking amazing. Like Japanese bukakke-level obscene.

    • amrak63

      As some of us noted earlier in the thread, Putin must have some stronger hold over Trump than a recording of hookers pissing on a bed. At least two of us suspect pedo stuff.

  • Dear United States of Americans…how can I put this as I lurve you’all etc…Build a big wall and let the grown ups sort things out for a few years? Please? Love, the rest of the planet.
    Also you never said I could start drinking damn you.

  • I guess lobbying is just a future’s market for politicians. If that’s the case, American politicians really can be bought and sold like a common commodity. And, the Ol’ Pussy Grabber could shoot ANYONE except the Putangin on Fifth Ave and his supporters wouldn’t care as long as they continue being obscenely, yet figuratively, raped by the richest in the world.

  • Maybe

    Spanking America?

    Next thing you know he’ll be wanting Putin to pee all over America.

    Though they sort of already did that in 2016.

    • JCfromNC

      Fuck 2016. It was a shit year that just keeps on giving.

      • Maybe

        Unfortunately it started long before 2016, though Trump seems to be the peak awfulness. If I had to pick a starting point for the corruption of the Republican party, I’d go with Nixon’s Southern Strategy. Trump is still using this racist-based appeal.

        And it’s still working.

  • brain surgery by tweet

  • I guess there is an equivalent to day drinking during the Ol’ Pussy Grabber’s stint at squatting in the WH. But, what would it be? First 100 days drinking? Inaugural drinking? As in, “I started drinking during the inauguration, and I haven’t stopped?” Are we like frogs put in a pot while the heat slowly increases so that we never notice? How can this kind of shyte be tolerated? What the fuck is happening to us? Will drinking even more even help? Should I start doing other recreational drugs? Will that help? Will the world ever make sense again?

  • Bitter Scribe

    Now Trump is doing the “I was being sarcastic” thing, which seems to be his go-to move.

  • Jeff Mc Donald

    In the past didn’t we spread the pain by making sure 755 Russians lost their jobs too? Well, at least we kicked them out as a sort of quid pro quo asininity that passes for diplomatic chest beating. However all is not what it seems. Mrs. Colonel Huckabee-Sanders has just announced that the President was merely being “sarcastic” when he was talking about a subject that apparently never came up on the golf course. So! All but 755 of us can sleep better tonight!

  • Christopher Story
  • Lisacmckinnon

    Creations48b

    Google is paying 97$ per hour! Work for few hours and have longer with friends & family! :!ad198d:
    On tuesday I got a great new Land Rover Range Rover from having earned $8752 this last four weeks.. Its the most-financialy rewarding I’ve had.. It sounds unbelievable but you wont forgive yourself if you don’t check it
    :!ad198:
    ➽➽
    ➽➽;➽➽ http://GoogleFinancialJobsCash488MediaLook/Pay$97/Hour ★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★:::::!ad198l..,..

  • wahoogus
  • Cobrajet

    You see, more sanctions is a “good” thing.

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