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Thinkin' face.
Thinkin’ face.

Fox News’s Eric Bolling is very, very mad. He is mad about an article in the Huffington post that came out this weekend detailing his (alleged) habit of sending unsolicited dick pics to women who do not want them. Bolling is suspended from Fox pending an investigation of the claims.

Thus, he is suing Yashar Ali, the freelance reporter for the Huffington Post who wrote the story, for $50 million US American dollars. Which, surely, as a Huffington Post contributor, he definitely has lying around somewhere. On Wednesday, Bolling filed a “summons with notice” against Ali, to which Ali will have 20 days to respond:

“The nature of this action is for damages and injunctive relief based on defamation arising from the defendant’s efforts to injure the plaintiff’s reputation through the intentional and/or highly reckless publication of actionable false and misleading statements about the plaintiff’s conduct and character. As a result of the defendant’s actions, the plaintiff has been substantially harmed.”

Now, let us just point out here — for no particular reason — that following Ali’s article, in which Bolling’s lawyer said Bolling didn’t “believe” he had sent anyone any dick picks, former Fox Contributor Caroline Heldman came forward on Facebook to say that Bolling had made unwanted advances towards her, as well.

Bolling would also contact me via phone and text after shows, sometimes to apologize for his behavior (and then do it again), and sometimes just to talk. He said he wanted to fly me out to New York for in-studio hits and to have “fun.” He asked me to have meals with him on several occasions, but I found excuses not to go. Once, he took me up to his office in New York, showed me his baseball jerseys, and in the brief time I was there, let me know that his office was his favorite place to have sex. I know other women have had similar experiences with Bolling, which means that lots of folks at Fox knew about his behavior well before 2017.

In no way am I surprised that Eric Bolling (ALLEGEDLY!) thinks this is how you seduce a woman. “Come, see my baseball jerseys. I sure like office sex. My penis has been EVERYWHERE in this office. Does that turn you on?”

If this is anything like EVERY OTHER TIME THIS HAPPENS, more women are likely to come forward. So Bolling might want to hold off on that lawsuit for a hot minute.

Ali is standing by his story, and his sources — whose claims, again, were corroborated by over a dozen witnesses — and Huffpo says it is “standing by” him, financially even! That is good! That is better than not standing by him, especially financially, especially in light of that one Gawker editor who’s had his life garnished by Hulk Hogan, right down to the peanut butter in his fridge.

Wouldn’t it be hilarious if Eric Bolling won and got $50 million for showing his thingie to ladies who did not want to see it? Oh, that wouldn’t be hilarious. That would be like every other payday at Fox, in which the guys who got fired for sexually harassing everybody got more of a payout than the women they grossed on. Life — and Fox! — are funny that way.

[Politico]

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  • PubOption

    Is Bolling broke?

  • Zippy W Pinhead

    Sounds like a junk lawsuit

    • Oblios_Cap

      He’ll need to firm up those numbers.

      • BosGrl

        I’m afraid it’s all soft money.

        • Zippy W Pinhead

          the evidence certainly won’t stand up in court

          (yes, I made that joke yesterday, so sue me)

          • SeeTrain65

            He unable to erect a defense.

        • armed_bears

          Can’t wait for the oral arguments.

          • Good_Gawd_Yall

            The sexplanations will be graphic.

        • jesterpunk

          But is the penis mightier then the sword of justice?

          • armed_bears

            IDK…. we’ll have to see what’s in the briefs.

          • jesterpunk

            That should be a short discovery.

          • armed_bears

            Yeah, but, dear god, what if there is a discharge order for liquidation of some sort?

          • jesterpunk

            Then your going to wind up in a sticky situation.

          • armed_bears

            Quick! Motion to bar admission!!1

      • House0fTheBlueLights

        Yeah, his lawyers might decide to stiff him.

    • Snark Tank Full of Resistance

      This probably won’t go to trial until after the midterm erections.

    • leemoder

      Considering it’s a lawsuit about Bolling’s junk…

  • Oblios_Cap

    Is his family named after the Boll Weevils? Because he is about as damaging to have around as an infestation of those guys.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      more like a Boll Weasel

  • armed_bears
    • Beanz&Berryz

      Did you see what that turtle did to that pigeon?

  • Oblios_Cap

    I’ve never been really hip. I’ve missed the “e-mail pictures of your junk” train.

    So it goes.

    • Lambsendbeds

      Count yourself lucky. In the olden days we had to see unsolicited unwanted men’s dicks from under raincoats when strangers flashed us.

      • BosGrl

        Or worse… and both times when I was a kid.

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        Also too, those dick lithographs were really cumbersome

      • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

        Unsolicited papyrus dickrolls could make a comeback, because biodegradable!

  • BosGrl

    Normal men know that normal women do not get excited when men send them pictures of their family jewels. Why they persist in doing this, I will never understand.

    • SeeTrain65

      Normal men have self-control?

      Normal men have respect for women?

      • Marion in Savannah

        You may be on to something there…

      • BosGrl

        Normal men, yes.

  • Zippy W Pinhead

    Carlos Danger has filed an amicus brief

    (in his briefs)

  • BigCSouthside

    Seems like in the trump era, rich white guys are just like “fuck it. There’s no rules for us anymore”

    • BosGrl

      To be fair, this has been going on since Adam said to Eve, “Feel this!”

      • Lambsendbeds

        To which Eve said ” What a cold squishy nubbin you have there Adam.”

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      Oh, this is something new?

      • Major_Major_Major

        The end result is a little different nowadays.

      • BigCSouthside

        They aren’t even trying to be sneaky about. “Yeah I sent you dick pics, now pay me”

  • maman

    He curated those pix for you! Only the highest caliber dicks will do for Eric!

  • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

    A little criticism and he’s all SUE SUE SUE! What a snowflake!

    • SpideySenser

      Typical … dishes it out but can’t take it.

  • Mark Harper

    You shouldn’t store peanut butter in the fridge.

    • BosGrl

      Or Nutella. Never put Nutella in the fridge!

      • Major_Major_Major

        heheheh, nutella in a comment on a story about dick pix

        • Lambsendbeds

          Ewww…I may never eat Nutella again.

          • Oblios_Cap

            Switch to Vegamite. It makes great sammiches.

          • BosGrl

            Guy from Men At Work, is that you?

          • Snark Tank Full of Resistance

            Where’s that “downfist” button? Vegemite is the devil’s peanut butter.

          • Werewolf

            Do you come from a land Down Under?

    • Lambsendbeds

      True dat. I hate cold stiff peanut butter…ewww…that makes me think of Eric Bolling’s dick. I may never eat peanut butter again.

    • Werewolf

      Natural PB needs to be refrigerated to keep it from separating.

      • Snark Tank Full of Resistance

        Natural peanut butter doesn’t hold a candle to Jif. JMHO.

        • AnnieGetYerFun

          So true.

        • puredog

          CRUNCHY ADAMS LIBELZ!!!

  • Bill D. Burger
    • OutOfOrbit

      all RWNJs?

  • Bill D. Burger
    • Oblios_Cap

      Three to go…

    • Major_Major_Major

      Raw hamburger and chewed bubblegum. Try getting that image out of your head now. You’re welcome

      • Lambsendbeds

        What goes in pink and hard, and comes out white and soft?
        Answer: bubble gum.

  • Crystalclear12

    Even if your dick is too small to be seen in the pic it still counts, dude.
    The internet is forever.

  • Snark Tank Full of Resistance

    Colbert reported the other night that the other reason this story is super-creepy is that Bolling’s office has glass walls!

    • BosGrl

      Maybe he has Harry Potter’s cloak of invisibility.

      • Oblios_Cap

        I doubt he has the elder wand.

        • Lambsendbeds

          I’d say his wand is quite elder.

    • Mavenmaven

      it is so little he just has to turn a little and no one can see it even in the glass office.

    • TheGrandWazoo2

      People who work in glass offices shouldn’t show bones.

      • Lambsendbeds

        That’s bone-ers.
        FIFY

  • Oblios_Cap

    My office has always be a place I come because I need a check and leave at the first opportune moment. I don’t think it could ever become my favorite place to have sex.

  • TheGrandWazoo2

    The Bolling Peen Massacre. Never Forget!

  • TJ Barke

    It’s almost as if fox is a grotesque cess pit of hypocritical, misogynist, authoritarian tools…

    • NastyBossetti

      I don’t know. Let’s not rush to judgement yet.

      • calliecallie

        ICWYDT

    • RMKH

      Almost!

    • Oblios_Cap

      I’m not commenting until I get Bobo Brooks’ thoughts on this matter.

      • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

        Didn’t you hear? Bobo has decided he don’t want to play no more. He’s washing his hands of the whole thing and blaming everyone else for Donnie Two Scoops.

        • Latverian Diplomat

          OMG, he’s upset with Trump for betraying his WASP moral culture Because back in the Golden Age WASPs provided the moral leadership for other, lesser Americans to follow, don’t you know?

    • Snark Tank Full of Resistance
      • TJ Barke

        Blightfart.

  • Zippy W Pinhead

    That explains why O’Keefe’s cufflinks were down Eric’s pants…

  • Latverian Diplomat

    $50 million seems high, but his lawyer talked him down from $50 gazillion.

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸

    Legal discovery for this case is gonna be a hoot.

    • jesterpunk

      Ken Starr isnt busy, maybe he can lend a hand for the job?

    • Jon Sussex

      Maybe his kink is humiliation.

  • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

    “$50 million? Counsel, I’m going to recommend your client go through a psych eval before the trial. Because if he thinks he suffered $50 million in damages, he’s crazy!”

  • Beanz&Berryz

    I could be convinced to send dick pics for $10 million…But strip clubs are a constitutional right here…

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Ali will have 20 days to respond

    If ROTFL counts as a response, then I’m pretty sure Ali has already taken care of this task.

  • TJ Barke

    How arrogant do you have to be to think random women would be thrilled to get a picture of your dick?

    • Beanz&Berryz

      Even not random women…

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      Faux News arrogant

    • WotsAllThisThen

      Really, the tasteful thing would be to take a whole series of dick picks and have a gallery showing. And don’t cheap out on the wine and cheese plates.

    • jesuswasablack

      My dick won’t fit on an i-phone, bitch better be using a tablet if she wants to all of my junk!

      • WotsAllThisThen

        That reminds me, HR wants to talk to you about your three-monitor panorama desktop background.

        • TJ Barke

          HR really wants to talk about all the naked trump painting jpegs he keeps posting.

      • eggs ackly-wright

        Long Dong Silver?

  • jesuswasablack

    “I don’t believe I’ve ever sent pics of my peen to women”

    Yeah I mean who can really say for sure if you’ve ever texted a picture of your tiny white penis, I mean that’s like asking what someone had for breakfast last Thursday? How come Geraldo gets to stay at FAUX, white man just can’t catch a break at fox news!
    https://i2.wp.com/i1038.photobucket.com/albums/a468/msevers23/geraldo22f-1-web_zpshh1p86jb.jpg

  • Indiepalin

    Bolling’s wife, Adrienne didn’t “believe” he sent those pictures either. Then she checked her mother’s phone.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      Can you see me now?

      • SeeTrain65

        “Not without the microscope.”

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    his office was his favorite place to have sex

    Does anyone at FOX News do any actual work? Just thought I’d check…

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/0c9520e15793288c7fc60be3e7dc91594cfbf9425764a0cf3aa88325fbad49b5.jpg

  • ManchuCandidate

    Most expensive cock porn membership ever.

  • Bananas Foster

    OT

    http://www.salon.com/2017/08/10/emmanuel-macrons-sudden-collapse-french-radical-centrist-now-as-unpopular-as-trump/

    Not surprisingly, Macron’s losing his luster. He was always center right. The only real appeals he ever had were that he isn’t Le Pen and he wasn’t under investigation like Fillon.

    • Beanz&Berryz

      How come all their names sound so French?

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      although I have to admit, when I see the word “neoliberal” in a Salon article these days, I just roll my eyes

      • Bananas Foster

        I also have to ignore the writer’s Bernie bias…

    • spangled

      oh i’m sure that macron sucks, even though he’s very dreamy. but he’s def not a holocaust denier, so he was still the better choice.

      • Bananas Foster

        Oh, to that I absolutely agree.

  • Mavenmaven

    The sad part is that what he really sent was a picture of O’Reilly’s peen.

  • BadKitty904
  • SomeBigRedDog

    I’ve been doing this whole “career” thing all wrong. New plan:
    1. Get job at fox news
    2. Send out dick pics
    3. PROFIT

    Crap. I forgot I don’t have a dick.

  • The Librarian

    Of course, it’s irresponsible not to speculate on dick pics, but the only person Bolling should be suing is himself. Hope he has all those Ameros ready, no, actually I don’t. He can “retire” penniless and in disgrace.

    • OutOfOrbit

      purdy sure his audience is into doing the same thing themselves, so it’s cool

  • Mavenmaven

    of course, any picture of these FOX guys is essentially a dick pic.

  • jesuswasablack
    • canes_pugnaces

      A: Because Weiner is a perv, like you.

    • TJ Barke

      God bless the internet.

    • The Librarian

      The question of this century, Eric.

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      Well, THAT didn’t age well, did it?

  • Blanche Beecham

    He’s the man with the golden gun. $50M is a lot for a pic.

  • Covfefe

    Well, if they were my dick pix, I’d want $50 million for the rights to them myself.

  • Major_Major_Major

    Soooo, was he sending selfies, or the other kind of dick pic?

    • The Librarian

      Somebody speculated that they were Anthony Wiener’s wiener.

      • Beanz&Berryz

        Clever foundation for Bolling’s suit.. the pics weren’t of my dick… ha ha… gotcha

        • Lambsendbeds

          I’d like to see him show the evidence in court. On second thought…

      • Covfefe

        Get it. Eric has a Trumpeter. Has to pirate Wiener’s wiener to get any action.

  • SeeTrain65

    The counter-suits against Bolling should be delicious.

  • In order for a defamation of character suit to progress, isn’t it required that you have a character that is possible to defame?

    • SeeTrain65

      “Definition of character.”

      Thank you, Larry Gelbart.

  • wide_stance_hubby

    Maybe he should have said it was a Nigerian prince’s dick?

  • Bill D. Burger
  • Bill D. Burger
  • Mr. Blobfish

    Another conservative thought leader leading with his dick.

  • canes_pugnaces

    Boling may want to discuss the practicality of defamation litigation with Lord Stubyfingers of Orange, who has yet to successfully litigate a case. Witnesses tend to muck of the gears.

  • Bill D. Burger
  • Good_Gawd_Yall

    Apparently they need to schedule a “Dick Pics: No. Just No.” seminar at Faux again.

    • Crystalclear12

      Hi, everyone!
      I see a lot of familiar faces!

  • proudgrampa
    • BosGrl

      “Miss me yet?”

      • Lance Thrustwell

        {shivers}

      • SeeTrain65

        “He’s tanned, rested and dead.”

  • MynameisBlarney
    • Bill D. Burger
      • TJ Barke

        That’s a lot of neck…

        • MynameisBlarney

          This HAS to be shooped.
          HAS TO!!!

          • TJ Barke

            I kinda hope so.

          • Good_Gawd_Yall

            Yes, look at the dark line around the left side of the image. Still, that face is likely all his’n.

          • 🛶🗣️ Mr Canoehead 🛶🗣️

            I think that’s a hard shadow from the camera flash.

          • NastyBossetti

            Shooped, you say?
            https://youtu.be/4vaN01VLYSQ

        • Major_Major_Major

          And it is deep, DEEP, DEEP red.

          • TJ Barke

            Early 20th century radical labor movement libel!

      • jesterpunk
      • MynameisBlarney

        HOLY FUCK!

      • OutOfOrbit

        inbreeds like him should be nootered

      • Lance Thrustwell

        I thought giraffe-human genetic experiments were agin the law.

        • Zippy W Pinhead

          not according to Alex Jones

      • OrdinaryJoe

        That guy really is a dick head.

      • Major_Major_Major

        Meth, it’s what’s fer dinner

      • Sophia

        I see you found where no-neck monsters Hannity & Bolling neck allotment went.

  • P’jama Pahnts

    I’m no Law-yer, or even a Law-Splain-yer, but since Bolling is a public figure I’m pretty sure he has to prove that the claim is both false and of malicious intent.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      he does- he will lose badly

    • Red Bird

      What was Hogan’s claim?

      • 🛶🗣️ Mr Canoehead 🛶🗣️

        That there were no tunnels under the barracks, no radio in the coffee can…basically that he knows nothing. Nothing!

  • Lance Thrustwell

    All right, I’ve made up my mind. I’m suing Wonkette for $100 million! See you in court suckers.

    • Crystalclear12

      Great, now I have to send gas money!

    • NastyBossetti

      Did Wonkette write about your unsolicited dick pics?

      • Lance Thrustwell

        Immaterial! I have grounds. My grounds have grounds!

        • NastyBossetti

          I was just hoping they’d reviewed the pics, like a yelp situation for dick pics. I think that could be hilarious.

          • Lance Thrustwell

            That sounds like a job for Wankette.

          • theblackdog

            I know of a tumblr where the writer would actually critique your dick pics. These were actual critiques like telling you if you were sending the standard boring “Log” pic or if it looked like you actually put time into making it look good.

            I’ll post the link if requested, you do need a tumblr account to view it as it’s locked behind a “safe mode” wall

          • NastyBossetti

            Is it funny? It sounds like a resume workshop! If it’s funny, send the link!

          • theblackdog

            It’s a mix of funny and like a resume workshop

            critiquemydickpic.tumblr.com

          • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

            Make it look good? What the hell can that mean?

            Maybe one of those highschool-style portraits, but with the dick head-on, and then kind of in silhouette off to the side?

            Or maybe with makeup on it? “I call this one ‘Mario’s Powerup Mushroom'”

            Or dress it up, like with a batman cowl on the tip and a cape?

          • theblackdog

            *laughs* Well there have been submissions of guys who took artsy style pics like it silhouetted against a window or partially lit.

          • Mehmeisterjr

            Interesting to know but I’ll pass.

  • Bill D. Burger
  • OneYieldRegular

    “I did not ‘send’ those pictures. I shared them. Sharing is caring, amiright?”

  • Fartknocker

    If you’re having a bad day just click on Wonkette and read the dick jokes. They are fabulously funny. I’ll send monies now.

    • theblackdog

      Yessssssss, Wonkette dick jokes are funded by your whore diamonds

  • Bill D. Burger

    Eric didn’t learn:

    https://i.imgflip.com/1nkiod.jpg

  • OrdinaryJoe

    DixNews. Because the others only show you the tip.

    • Lambsendbeds

      ISWYDT

  • Bill D. Burger

    Sexual harrassment comes in at FUX News…..most of their pundits go out.

    You can’t explain that.

  • anon_the_great

    Faded Frat Bro’s futile lawsuit is a part of his severance pay negotiations with FOX.

  • Aileen

    The thing about sending dick pics is, there’s a record. The dick pic recipient has the evidence. Your carrier probably has the evidence somewhere too, housed in a giant server somewhere labelled “poor customer decisions.” Also, while it is probably unfair to judge Mr Bolling by the company he keeps, but Occam’s Razor suggests that sexual harassment allegations levied against Fox New personalities have merit.

    • anon_the_great

      Yeah, ’bout that. Turns out FAUX News talkers are butt ass stupid.

  • Bill D. Burger

    Eric Bolling now has ‘Bill Face’!

    https://i.imgflip.com/1p2wsh.jpg

    • MynameisBlarney

      He looks familiar.
      Didn’t he play a wife-beating sexual harassing frightwing douchebag on the teevee or somethin’?

  • TundraGrifter

    “…, showed me his baseball jerseys…” Dude had a cup of coffee in the lowest level of minor league professional baseball and he’s been bragging about it every since.

    His pro ball career is as real as a Canadian girl friend.

    • TJ Barke

      I almost had a Canadian girlfriend once.

    • jesterpunk

      But did he score 4 touchdowns in a single game?

    • Mehmeisterjr

      He had a handful of starts in the minors.

      It’s no disgrace to wash out in the minors but it’s nothing to brag about either.

      • TundraGrifter

        Dude played 3 games for a “rookie-level” minor league team. That makes him a pretty to very good college player.

  • Cosmopolitan John
    • Johnatx

      Me too.

  • Johnatx

    So…. why don’t any of the male pundits on Fox “News” have a neck? Both Bolling’s and Hannity’s heads look like they’ve attached directly to the torso. Inquiring minds want to know.

    • TundraGrifter

      Those right wing radio gasbags never stick their necks out.

    • anon_the_great

      Uncircumcised dicks?

  • OutOfOrbit

    i’z never knowd of a single gurl who evuh asked anybuddy for a dick pick but then, i donut git out much

    • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist
      • Yellerduck

        Woh! That’s tricky.

      • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

        Wow! You must really get around! I’ve already seen your dick, because it was literally tattooed on Roger Stone’s back!

        • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

          This is so embarrassing.

    • NastyBossetti

      I’ve never asked for one, but I have accepted a few when I was asked if I wanted them, by people whose dicks I’d already seen in person.

      • OutOfOrbit

        Well that’s alright. if a hoohaw-haver offered me pix of her lady garden, it would be unkind to say no

  • Good_Gawd_Yall

    So this is how you get out of your contract at Faux now? You send a few women dick pics, wait for them to complain, collect your settlement, and head over to the White House for your new position in the Dolt 45 regime?

    • Beanz&Berryz

      Republican political career advancement

  • armed_bears

    Imma drag this over from my earlier post…. as it seems to be our Theme For The Day:

  • Beanz&Berryz

    Plus also too, the contempt/perjury trap Bolling is setting for hisself… when asked to produce any of his dick pics that the other side already has copies of… I dunno for real if it’s allowable, but it sure seems like a claim for the other side’s attorney’s fees ought to fit in there somewhere..

  • Nounverb911
  • BadKitty904
  • Angela Ruzzo

    Where do men learn that sending dick picks and offering to show women their baseball jerseys and mentioning that they have had sex with lots of other women in their office or home is NOT the way to get an adult woman to sleep with them? Do they learn this technique from other men? Do they learn this from online forums run by 17-yr-olds? That would explain a lot. They should be asking women “What do women want to hear that will make them sleep with men?” In my case it required a black cape, a pirate hat, a sense of humor and and a single red rose, to the accompaniment of the 4th movement of “The New World Symphony.” I mentioned this to several young men back in the day. Did they ever do it? No. They said “That would be too embarrassing.” So they didn’t get laid. This is not rocket science, Mr. Bolling, just have a mature and rational conversation with women and they’ll tell you what works for them.

    • Major_Major_Major

      I imagine it originates from something like this:
      Dear Penthouse forum,
      I never thought this would happen to me, but I got the hottest picture texted to me from a friend. I had never thought of him in that way before, but…

    • RMKH

      But but but Angela, wouldn’t Song of the Night be just as good?

      • RMKH

        Wait, that’s Mahler. You want Dvorak.

        • Angela Ruzzo

          I definitely want Dvorak. Or Beethoven. I only played one Mahler piece in orchestra and I didn’t like it – was too hard to play, too many accidentals. It throws off your concentration.

          • RMKH

            Would Slavonic Dances be an adequate substitute for New World? Egmont Overture?

          • Angela Ruzzo

            No, they don’t do it for me sexually, although they are beautiful pieces. But the Bacchanale from “Samson and Delilah” by Saint-Saëns would work great, especially the kettle drums at the very end. Danse Macabre is also oddly erotic. “The Moldau” by Smetana is nice if you want to take your time with foreplay.

          • RMKH

            Good enough. Dont know the Smetana, at least by name. And here I thought Twelve Dreams of Dr Sardonicus was the ultimate.

          • Angela Ruzzo

            “The Moldau” starts with soft, rippling notes that represent the emergence of the Moldau River as two mountain springs, one warm and one cold. Water from the springs then combines to become a mighty river, symbolized by a stately theme that recurs periodically. Farther downstream, the river passes hunters, portrayed by a horn melody, and then passes a village wedding, signaled by a passage in polka rhythm. The river then enters a gorge where legend says that water nymphs came out to bathe in the moonlight. Next the stately main river theme returns before breaking into dissonance as the river enters rapids. Beyond the white water, the river reaches Prague, where to grand arpeggios it flows past a royal castle. The national anthem of Israel was taken from one of the main themes in this piece.

            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gTKsHwqaIr4

          • RMKH

            Thanks. Beautifully described

          • Mehmeisterjr

            I heard “Vlatava,” as it is called in Czech and, in fact, the entire “Ma Vlast” cycle conducted, right before my ears and eyes by Rafael Kubelik, no less.

            The part where the water nymphs bathe in the moonlight was one of the most beautiful things I have ever heard in my entire life. He recorded it many times, of course, but the recordings don’t quite come up to my memory. It was and will remain unforgettable for the rest of my life.

          • RMKH

            Well, that’s live music. Always better. My best moment was being in the front row when Aaron Copland directed the Oregon Symphony. Rodeo has never been the same. I’m mostly a rube and a Deadhead but my roommate took violin lessons from the concertmeister so he pulled gave me first call on the ticket. I may be a rube but not so much as to pass up that.

    • MynameisBlarney

      INORITE?!!

      I just this pic with no explanation.

      http://i.imgur.com/ppfm6OV.jpg

      Hasn’t worked yet, but it’s all I got.

      • SeeTrain65

        The real Stretch Armstrong.

      • Angela Ruzzo

        Add a long black cape, a pirate hat and a single red rose and it would have worked on me when I was in my 20’s. You would make a good pirate. Get yourself a pirate outfit and hang out at Renaissance Festivals and you will probably score.

        • MynameisBlarney

          What about this one?

          http://i.imgur.com/qFsVndR.jpg

          • jodyleek

            Well, he is out standing in his field.
            I’ll show myself out.

          • SeeTrain65

            Zeus: “Damn. Just missed.”

          • Steve Cole

            I like the composition, but what does it mean?

          • MynameisBlarney

            I think it means “I’m wearin’ tighty-whiteys whilst standing in weeds trying to gain superpowers by getting struck by lightning.”

            At least I hope that’s what it means.

          • Angela Ruzzo

            The highway ruins it for me. Is he a flasher? Was he arrested 2 minutes later?

      • NastyBossetti

        From now on, this is how I’m picturing you.

        • MynameisBlarney

          He’s got helmet hair like that bass player on Metalocalypse.

          • SeeTrain65

            William Murderface can keep it in his pants.

            … sometimes.

          • MynameisBlarney

            Geeez…
            Ya think that name would be easy to remember.

          • SeeTrain65

            (Psst, Blarney … I had to look it up.)

          • NastyBossetti

            It’s you now. You used to be this – which is how I picture all male Wonkette commenters – and now you’re a guy with helmet hair and shiny pants standing strangely in a room with décor that defies explanation:
            https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/98526eb96b2717ee07f47f06ec9e2cb8b90ae6d14079dd19df30211158485337.jpg

          • MynameisBlarney

            I’m more of a hybrid mix of D.B. Sweeney and David Cross.
            In other words. Weird AF lookin’.

          • NastyBossetti

            Could be worse!

          • fredoandme

            do you sidle? somehow i see that combination sidling up to people….unaware…secure….then….bam! there you are….

          • MynameisBlarney

            I’ve been known to sidle from time to time.

          • fredoandme

            just as i thought.

            reeeeallly cute guys can get away with it. though my imagined hero, whom i have named sweeney cross, probably couldn’t. unless he’s one of them smooth talkers.

            in that case, all bets would be off.

      • Duke

        Your penis has arms!

        • MynameisBlarney

          *looks down in shock*

          Wait…what?

      • puredog

        I find the enormous turd in the lower right of the photo to be, uh, a bit distracting.

        • MynameisBlarney

          Yeah, that is big ass turd.

      • Courser_Resistance

        He looks like his going to give himself a brain aneurysm trying to turn into The Incredible Hulk.

        • MynameisBlarney

          That, or he’s in the middle of an epic fart.

      • SpideySenser
      • fredoandme

        don’t know why! that there picture just screams, “MORE INFO REQUIRED!!!”

        in the best what-the-hell-iest way imaginable.

      • eggs ackly-wright

        Why does he have a walrus leaning against the wall?

        • MynameisBlarney

          It’s in time-out?

    • SeeTrain65

      This is not rocket science, Mr. Bolling, just have a mature and rational conversation with women and they’ll tell you what works for them.

      “I don’t have time for that! I’M HORNY NOW!” – Eric Bolling

    • Lance Thrustwell

      In my case it required a chicken suit, a jar of cold cream, a photograph of Golda Meir and several cameras. Kids these days just don’t recognize the value of old-fashioned romance anymore.

      • Angela Ruzzo

        Chicken suit. . .I’m not seeing it. But to each his/her own.

        • Beanz&Berryz

          I was thinking rubber chicken… in that chimp-frog sort of way…

    • Thiazin Red

      There seems to be a subset of strait men who are 100% convinced they know what women want, and no amount of women telling them otherwise will convince them because women are liars.

      • Angela Ruzzo

        Yes, I ran into that quite often when I was in my 20’s. Four or five young men in a row told me that “Women never say what they really think or really want.” I looked them right in the eyes and said “Bullshit. I say exactly what I think and want.” But they refused to believe me. Did they hear this from their fathers? I figured it was a blessed release because I had no time in those days for young men with baggage.

        • Thiazin Red

          Some of them say stuff like “But I was nice and pretended to be this one girl’s friend for years, and she never fucked me, so women must be lying”.

          • Angela Ruzzo

            I had a firm rule – if someone didn’t get real with me in 6 months, then they were never going to get real with me, and the relationship was over. I hear people all the time saying “I hung around for YEARS” and I think they were living in a dream world. If it doesn’t work in 6 months, it never will.

    • Antonin Dvorak

      to the accompaniment of the 4th movement of “The New World Symphony.”

      I’m glad that at least it got somebody laid.

      • Angela Ruzzo

        I played it in orchestra in high school. It swept me away while I was playing it, and I thought “This would be good music to have sex to.” I was right. Another good one is Beethoven’s 5th Piano Concerto.

        • Antonin Dvorak

          What instrument do/did you play?

          • Angela Ruzzo

            Violin.

          • Antonin Dvorak

            Neat, do you still keep it up?

          • Angela Ruzzo

            Alas no, rheumatoid arthritis has interrupted my amateur career.

          • Antonin Dvorak

            I’m sorry to hear that.

          • Angela Ruzzo

            Me too. Had to give up piano and guitar as well. Fingers just won’t do what brain tells them to do. But they had their day, so it’s OK.

    • x111e7thst

      Bolling non est gratus anus rodentum

    • kev

      Is the eye patch required?

      • Angela Ruzzo

        Optional. Could be fun if playing strip poker.

        • kev

          sounds fun! I’ll be in full pirate regalia and you wear that thong I like…

    • Steve Cole

      How about the poofy pirate shirt?

      • Angela Ruzzo

        Absolutely essential, open to the waist and displaying chest hair (if any, preferably a lot).

    • ziggywiggy

      Penis fascination starts very young, anytime you see a group of little boys they are all holding or frequently grabbing it like it’s going to fly away if they don’t. Bath time and they think it’s the most awesome toy in the world. Sounds like there are men who got stuck in the 5-6 year old thinking of my penis is amazing and people would be in awe if they only saw it.

      • RMKH

        That’s Faux News and Agent Orange for you. Arrested development.

    • Courser_Resistance

      I once had a very sexy neighbor who dressed like that, along with the pirate boots. He was in his 20’s, long black hair, sexy as fuck. I was friends for a while with him, his dad and his girlfriend. It was kind of a ‘hard luck’ apartment complex during the recession.

      • Angela Ruzzo

        Renaissance festivals are a great way to meet open-minded, emotionally secure guys in pirate suits who can have an intelligent conversation. I just wish I had known this in my 20’s.

    • Wait women have wants and needs. When did this happen?

      In all seriousness, most of the people who do this are the type who view women as “conquests” and the act of sex is just as much about ego gratification as it is about pleasure.

      • Angela Ruzzo

        Very true. But then they keep bitching about how their system fails and women press charges against them. If you are standing in a courtroom and 10 women are accusing you of gross harassment, and if you have at least a few functioning brain cells, you would normally say to yourself “I think I will take a different approach next time.” Clearly what is lacking is the functioning brain cells.

    • Mehmeisterjr

      Sadly, this was a lesson I never learned.

    • Bill Diaz

      The easiest thing I have seen that helps guys get ‘laid’ was good performance evaluations from previous co-workers, lol. Women talk and gossip as much about sex as men do, who is doing who, funny comments and a hunger for trivia, lol.

      If you have a tiny weenie, smell bad or have less ‘brewing time’ as a cup of tea, this sort of back channel communication can be ruinous. On the flip side, a couple of good reviews can go a long way toward keeping your dance card full during ‘Spring Cotillion’.

      People like to be treated decently, with kindness, respect and decency. Most people don like selfish self centered jerks, or people who treat them like crap and back in the day before the tubes came, you could only get away with that a couple of times before people caught on. Just because some of those people have breasts as a factory installed option doesnt change the other workings of being.

      Have a great day!

    • 🛶🗣️ Mr Canoehead 🛶🗣️

      In my 20s I would’ve been enthusiastically on board. Even without the sex. (But especially with.)

  • Good_Gawd_Yall

    I guess sending unsolicited dick pics is the 21st-century version of shouting lewdly at women from the back of your open pickup truck. I never understood that. How was it supposed to work? Did they think we had grappling hooks and long chains in our purses and as they went by, if we liked what they shouted, we’d toss the hook over the rear gate and hang on ’til they got to the four-way stop? (Can you tell I live in a small Southern town?)

    • Résistance Land Shark Ω

      Uh … yes?

    • It’s about making us feel scared or unsafe. They don’t actually expect to get a date out of this behavior.

  • Scooby

    His penis was in the electric pencil sharpener???

  • jodyleek

    His baseball jerseys? He wants to impress women with his baseball jerseys?!? How about his Hotwheels collection or his Pokémon cards? Gah. What a douche.

    • SeeTrain65

      “Do you like films about Gladiators?”

      • Johnny Appleseed

        “Ever see a grown man naked?”

  • La forza del resistino

    I blame the advancements in optical magnification technologies on cell phone cameras.

    • SeeTrain65

      “Ah … digital zoom, Eric. I can see the pixels.”

      • mardam422

        Those aren’t pixels. Those are my balls.

  • disqus_lWwzrwNaw6

    Everybody needs to see the documentary “Nobody Speak: Trials of the Free Press,” about the way the Trump-loving, democracy-hating tech billionaire Peter Thiel surreptitiously funded Hulk Hogan’s lawsuit against Gawker in order to take down the publication (his legal team removed all the complaints against Gawker Media that would have been covered by malpractice insurance in order to leave individuals personally liable for ruinous awards for damages).

    Because Eric Bolling’s bosses and attorneys clearly have seen it.

    They may also have seen Eric Bolling’s penis, poor them. I do hope it doesn’t have to testify.

    • Thiazin Red

      Gawker wasn’t a victim. If they hadn’t published a sex tape or outed people without their consent there would not have been a case. They 100% brought it on themselves and deserved everything they got.

      • theblackdog

        LOL the sex tape was one thing but Thiel trying to claim he was outed was bullshit.

      • disqus_lWwzrwNaw6

        Gawker’s lousy conduct wasn’t in fact Thiel’s target, although it provided a nice juicy distraction–when you’re going after a constitutional right, naturally you want your ostensible target to be a douchebag like Nick Denton.

        Thiel’s real target, of course, was the First Amendment. By design, the structure of the litigation went way beyond a pursuit of damages for the alleged injuries: it was intended to create a precedent by which the very rich could use their assets to silence media outlets. There have been a lot of these attempts across the country, like Frank VanderSloot’s action against Mother Jones. Most of them have failed. This one succeeded.

        You’re either for a free press, warts and all, or you’re not for a free press. I’m for, you’re not.

        • Thiazin Red

          Freedom of speech does not mean freedom from consequences. Again, had Gawker not broken the law and grossly violated someone’s privacy there would have been no case.

  • “Oh, *these* dick-pics?!? I don’t *think* I sent them to anyone. Except for those who *clearly* wanted to see them. And who wouldn’t, amirite?”

  • Duke

    Here’s a tip:

    Don’t take a dick pic. People may gain 10 lbs in a picture but dicks lose about 20% in all dimensions.

    Find an impressive one on the internet and send that.

    • Paperless Tiger

      This is mine on a good day.

  • Randy Riddle

    Well, this is good news for all the lawyers that are available who aren’t tied up with cases involving the Trump administration right now.

  • laughingnome

    Was any woman ever not sexually harassed by Fox men?

    • Randy Riddle

      Sarah Huckabee Sanders wasn’t.

      • laughingnome

        I wouldn’t bet on it.

        • puredog

          Indeed. Not my particular flavor, but there are many guys who would happily hit that.

          • Mehmeisterjr

            True that.

            There are guys out there who have a fetish for the flavor of diseased dog beaten and burned to death.

            Not my fetish but surprisingly popular in Huckabee country.

      • alpacapunchbowl

        Except maybe by her dad or one of those psycho brothers.

    • Mehmeisterjr

      Well, there was that one woman who lived in 13th Century Holland.

      But besides her? Nah!

  • MynameisBlarney
    • theblackdog

      What a waste of good spaghetti

      • MynameisBlarney

        Could be Ramen…

        • laughingnome

          What exactly is going on here?

          • MynameisBlarney

            I haven’t seen enough Hentai to be able to determine that.

          • Courser_Resistance

            Hard to tell. Could be some kind of noodle fetish (people will fetishize anything) based on the dildo/candle/tentacle that the lady on the right is holding near his ass. But he’s wearing shorts, so… Bad Food Porn?

    • laughingnome

      Trump’s morning hair appointment?

    • NastyBossetti

      What are the boxes for? Can he really not manage to hold himself up on all fours? Are the noodles THAT heavy?

      • Zyxomma

        Not even noodles; WICKS. And the boxes are to hide his gut, I’m sure.

    • RMKH

      Someone has been touched by His Noodly Appendage. Repeatedly.

    • Ricky Gay

      Gah! al Dante

    • Incoming Ham

      WTF is going on there?

      • MynameisBlarney

        Not sure, but it looks like someone got “touched by his noodley appendage” repeatedly and with gusto.

        • guppy06

          Gusto and pesto!

      • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

        Bad news if THIS is why Top Ramen is so high in sodium.

  • HazooToo

    Top Tip: If a woman wants a picture of your dick, she will ask for it.
    BONUS TIP: If a woman wants a picture of your dick, you should probably wonder what she is actually going to do with it.

  • Bitter Scribe

    Robyn raises a good point at the end of this. If Fox does end up cutting Bolling loose, will he get a big-ass golden parachute or just “kthxbye”?

    I’m betting on the latter, since I don’t think he brought in tons of money all by himself, as O’Reilly and Ailes did.

    • YoBunnyBunny

      Mayhaps why he’s suing??? Which is probably a lost cause that he is keenly aware of, and the lawsuit is his personal grift advertisement: “Hey wingnuts, I’m suing a libtard for oppressing me–support my cause and SEND MONEY NOW!1!1!! I’m also available for work now.”

    • Incoming Ham

      Fox has a lifetime limit of 2 sexual harassment settlements. It’s sort of like when you need dental work – no more than two crowns during your use of that insurance.

  • Anna Rompage

    Do you want to come back to my office and look at some shirts that other famous people wore doing athletic things that I could never do in a million years, and then have sex with me?

    • RMKH

      Seems like a winner to me. He should probably add, “Won’t take but a minute”

  • Duke

    Would this impress Fox women?

    http://media.salon.com/2013/11/dick_cheney.jpg

    • Ricky Gay

      No, because he only shoots in the face.

      • Duke

        Well played!

      • guppy06

        Good. There are enough Cheney children.

  • Wes

    Are they going to have any on-air personalities or staff left at this rate?

    • Lambsendbeds

      Hopefully not. No, we’re still stuck with the bare legged Faux ladies.

  • mardam422

    “Come, see my baseball jerseys. I sure like office sex. My penis has been EVERYWHERE in this office. Does that turn you on?”
    That never works. Chicks aren’t into baseball. Now, Star Wars costumes? That gets their panties off every time.

    • Hey. If you can afford authentic Star Wars regalia, you can probably get laid, even if you are a YOOOOOGE nerd

    • Yeah, when I break out the Yoda cosplay, I have to beat ’em off with a stick!

      • kbbaldwin2

        “Them”,or “it”?

      • mardam422

        Usually also beating something else off, but that’s another story.

  • alpacapunchbowl

    Did dipshit’s lawyer not include HuffPo as a co-party? Everyone knows you go after the deep pockets, which a freelance journo most certainly does not have. Not that he’ll get a thin dime anyway (except from FauxNewz), since one of the essential elements of libel is that it be demonstrably untrue.
    And I’m the lawyer living paycheck to paycheck? Fuck these unethical insufferable fucks. We have to complete hours and hours of continuing legal education to maintain our licenses, maybe instead they should institute a rule that we have to be re-sworn in every few years, just to remind the assholes what we pledged and swore to in the first place. FUCK.

    • Incoming Ham

      I think he is trying to “set an example.” In the process he is going to dig himself deeper. It’s not going anywhere except to embarrass him further.

      • alpacapunchbowl

        The humiliation I’m okay with.

        • gffish

          Especially if the judge has to use a microscope to examine the pictures in question.

          • alpacapunchbowl

            Ugh, his piggy eyes and gross tiny little mouth are disgusting enough, I can’t even begin to imagine how revolting the rest of his shitty gross body is.
            NOT ENOUGH MONEY IN THE WORLD.
            And if I ever found out that he owns the jersey of a player I love? Say, for example, Hank Aaron?
            Given half a chance, I WILL cut a motherfucker (with votes).

  • Marla

    He’s a “victim” you know.

    I’m sure he’ll blame the “liberals” at Apple or Android (or whomever makes his fucking phone) for allowing him to engage is such inappropriate behavior as freely as he did. After all, there must be regulations against this kind of thing. Oh right, regulations are liberal too.

  • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

    His wang photos are worth at least 50 million? I mean, if I was that kind of person, especially if I was one who had received that unsolicited “portrait,” would countersue for, as the starting floor.

    Very nice of him to set the base bidding price for an actual copy of it so high, also too!

  • Alternative Dog

    OT: A tweet from Robyn got top billing on a Raw Story post and it is hilarious! Good job Robyn.

    http://www.rawstory.com/2017/08/ultimate-snowflake-breitbart-writer-melts-down-over-statue-of-liberty-pic-and-gets-hilariously-torched/

    • Shanzgood

      Gah! Browser hijack “congratulations, winner!”

    • Zyxomma

      Good going, Robyn!!

  • Shanzgood

    This is some hilarious commentary on it. I love this writer.

    https://www.facebook.com/brian.broome.5/posts/10214003527153200

    • Zyxomma

      Expired link. :(

      • Shanzgood

        Bummer, sorry. If you have access to the FaceBorg, search for Brian Broome and follow him. You won’t be disappointed.

  • Swampgas_Man

    I don’t think even Robert Mapplethorpe got $50 million for his dick pics. Bolling must be one helluva artist.

  • whitroth

    Now, IANAL, but couldn’t she and her lawyer show up in court, and show a copy of the dick pic and the email, and request that the judge reject(?) the case with prejudice?

    • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

      IANAL either, but yeah. Or my favorite tactic, “Prove it.”

      Prove Ali was reckless, cause that’s gonna be hard (dammit, pun unintentional)

    • kbbaldwin2

      And then he has to whip out the real one so the hury cna stare and compare. You also need to have an expert witness in case the photo was “enhanced: via Photoshop.

  • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

    “Now that you’ve seen my penis, would you like to touch it? With your vagina? Or your mouth? Totally your choice, I’m pro-choice you see.”

    From FOX News Sexual Harassment Training Manual, page 23

  • Resistance Ftr PuckStopsHere

    I want fifty mill for having to think about Eric Bolling’s cock.

  • Lyly Sirivong

    I see he shares Trump’s taste for big flashy red ties.

  • miss_grundy

    I want 50 mil for the trauma of having to read about Bolling and his “member”….

  • Querolous

    It’s a Bolling green ma$$acre.

    • Komsumverweigerer Ron

      <golf clap>

  • JustDon’tSayDignity

    Barbara Streisand is on line 3.

  • AngryNotSoOldHippy .

    Isn’t Republicanism just lovely?

  • Komsumverweigerer Ron

    One day I want to see what a Fox job application looks like.

    • covfefesumgame0005

      the one for guys or the one for girls?

  • BreakingDeadMen
  • Manhattan123
    • Bill Diaz

      Mom, is that you?

      Have a great day!

    • JCfromNC

      I must say, I’m glad I was reading this thread at home instead of at work.

  • Elvin B. Ross

    Was Eric flashing his boobs again?

  • It’s a man’s world…

  • NotConvinced

    So Eric Bolling has the most expensive dick pics in the world? Who knew. He must spend a lot on dick care and grooming products.

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