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She came from France and has never been granted citizenship…

Once again, Canada is facing an influx of refugees from the United States Of America. That’s the sort of phrase you’re only supposed to read in dystopian science fiction, not real news articles. Last winter, migrants whose asylum applications had been denied in the USA began crossing into Canada, avoiding official border crossings because of a loophole that would have sent them back to the US and gotten them deported. Recently, another wave of refugees has been fleeing America because Donald Trump decided not to extend temporary protection for Haitians that was put in place after the 2010 earthquake in Haiti. The State Department has determined Haiti is now safe to return to, if you don’t mind the crushing poverty and cholera epidemics.

The influx of asylum seekers has prompted the Canadian military to build a camp near the border to house the overflow of people. The temporary camp, consisting of tents with floors, electric lights, and heating, should house about 500 people. So now America has something in common with northern Syria, isn’t that something. A Canadian Army spokesperson was careful to point out that the soldiers would be returning to their home bases after the camp is constructed, and that law enforcement in the camp will be handled by civilian authorities, while aid agencies will be responsible for administration. Because Canada is a civilized place, you know. About 700 people are currently waiting to be processed in the area, with no beds available, just benches and chairs.

Authorities are also facing logistical challenges in providing schooling, accommodation and other services once asylum seekers get to Montreal.

The cavernous Olympic Stadium is already being used to house people, but it will not be available as of next month, officials said at a news conference.

The city’s old Royal Victoria Hospital, which closed in 2015, will also be opened up to new arrivals.

Francine Dupuis, who oversees PRAIDA, the provincial organization that helps asylum seekers in their first months, said the building will accommodate an additional 320 people.

Dupuis said all asylum-seekers are currently being taken care of, and some shelters still have space, but steps to prepare additional space are being taken to meet the anticipated needs of future arrivals. Oddly, Canada is treating the new arrivals like human beings and not threatening to build a wall or shoot them on sight. Weird country up there.

The Globe And Mail ran an explainer Monday with some basics on the refugee situation in Quebec. At least 150 people cross daily, mostly from northern New York, and as many as 300 per day have been counted. About 70% are Haitians, in addition to the Middle Eastern and African refugees who have been coming from the US since Trump took office and proclaimed that we no longer gave two shits about refugees, because we’re not into the whole “mother of exiles” thing anymore.

Hundreds of residents of Montreal turned out over the weekend to greet asylum seekers housed temporarily at the Olympic Stadium:

“It’s a way of saying ‘Welcome to Canada’ to people and, at the same time, ask Quebecers and Canadians for their solidarity,” said Serge Bouchereau, the spokesperson for the humanitarian group Comité d’action des personnes sans statut.

One of the Haitian arrivals from the erstwhile Land of the Free, Adline Tidas, said, “It is a good place. We have fun, we eat good[.]”

“I don’t want to go back to Haiti,” she said. “I come here because I know Canada is going to welcome us and we say, ‘Thank you, God, there is some place we can go.'”

Amazingly, neither Ms. Tidas nor her fiance were mobbed by a bunch of people wearing MAGA hats and telling them to go back where they came from.

Canadians sure are funny. They don’t even scream at people in need and tell them to stay the hell oot. How odd.

Yr Wonkette is supported by our readers. Please click the “Donate” linky. And let’s maybe try to make America a place people run to, not from.

[CBC via alert Wonkette operative “Anthony” / Globe and Mail / CBC]

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  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
    • Zippy W Pinhead

      trick question- there are no good days

  • unmasked mumbler

    I need to find some of those Haitian people so they can take me with them.

    • Three Finger Salute

      Local Haitian milk people?

  • (((fka_donnie_d)))

    Mission accomplished, scumbags.

  • memzilla Ω

    DEAR CANADA:
    SEND THE FUCKING BILL TO THE FUCKING TRUMP ORGANIZATION.

    • gallbladder

      He’d never pay us.

      • memzilla Ω

        CONFISCER TOUTES LES PROPRIÉTÉS DE TRUMPS.

        • bupkus231

          Prolly not a lot there. Maybe something in Toronto or Montreal, but, face it, Rump was never interested in anything that wasn’t considered “A-list” by the glitterati ( since he soooo wanted to be one ).

          Canada’s “nice” – but he never wanted “nice”. He wanted obscene property values….

          • Actually Vancouver. The Toronto hotel sued him to get out of their liscencing agreement. They ripped down the sign in June

          • bupkus231

            I guess, besides being able to tell I know very little about Canada, you can tell I’m an East Coaster, and know even less about Western Canada….

  • Jeffocaster in the West

    And they have an articulate, sane and pretty darn good Prime Minister. They aren’t perfect but in the political discourse a fucking whole lot better than the US now.

    • BosGrl

      I just wonder when Canada’s right wing is going to start screaming at 300 a day.

      • Three Finger Salute

        I’m sure Scheer Idiot and Ezra Pissant are already stretching their vocal cords.

      • georgiaburning

        Alberta calling, line 2

        • Three Finger Salute

          Papineau riding, where Justin was MP, is home to a pretty significant Haitian immigrant community. (He also played WW1 hero Talbot Papineau in the Great War miniseries for CBC.)

          Which means the conspiracy wingnuts are going to be convinced that Soros has tapped Justin to “IMPORT MORE DAMN LIBERAL VOTERS!”

    • commatoes

      A friend was doing contract coding in Texas. Upon hearing that he was from Canada, the desk clerk at his hotel asked him if he was worried about jack booted government thugs raiding his house at will and his inability to criticise the government. Evidently the NRA had been running ads about Canadian gun control using a case concerning confiscation of firearms by the RCMP. They did not mention that there was a warrant and that the guns were illegal.

      As for criticising the government, I can guarantee that every bar and coffee shop in the nation has at least one table criticising one level of government.

  • CripesAmighty

    New northern border crossing sign: “Welcome To Civilization”.

    • Three Finger Salute

      Bienvenue dans la civilisation

      Or just print out Justin’s tweet from January and put it on a billboard.

    • commatoes

      Take Off To The Great White North!!!

      https://youtu.be/8Jm4LoOaAWI?t=1m14s

  • Zippy W Pinhead

    OT thanks Dok for closing that dumpster fire thread

    • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

      What?

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        the Kamala thread AKA invasion of the Bros™

        • Résistance Land Shark Ω

          Oh lawdy! Now they’re going to head over HERE

        • Resistance Fighter Callyson

          Oh Christ–I take it the LWNJs hit it? Glad I missed that train wreck FFS.

          • Zippy W Pinhead

            You didn’t miss much. Remember the Paultards? These were their dumber, more dishonest progeny

          • amrak63

            I would not be surprised if some of them are former Paultards. It’s easier for a RWNJ to become a LWNJ, or the reverse, than for either one to move toward the center.

          • Zippy W Pinhead

            eggzactly- the worst of the Ron Paul true believers, who became the stereotype of the Obama worshipping sycophants (until he failed to give them their pony in the first six months of his presidency- now they hate him), then instead of learning the right lesson of not hero worshipping politicians, simply cast about for a new Messiah to glom onto. And voilá! Ladies and gentlemen, The Bros™. Once Sanders eventually proves himself to be merely human and their irrational infatuation ends, they’ll just look for another Messiah- the fact that so many of them could go from supporting Bernie to being Trumpanzees just shows that they really DGAF about policy, they just have daddy issues…

        • Dr. Rrrrrobotnik

          Wait, the one that went up like last week?

          • amrak63

            They’ll go to a thread from two years ago if that’s what Uncle Vlad pays them to do.

          • commatoes

            Yes, ignore the sheeple and do as I command!!!

    • jesterpunk

      After the one poster started talking to himself and complimenting themselves it was time to close it.

      • amrak63

        Seriously, he did that? I blocked him too soon to know that.

        • jesterpunk

          Yeah he started that this morning after he called everyone who didnt worship Bernie bots.

          • Zippy W Pinhead

            it seriously degenerated into surreal idiocy- like it was a contest to see who could tell the biggest and dumbest lie, then argue against the straw man they’d just erected

          • jesterpunk

            Yeah while at the same time screaming how persecuted they are.

          • BosGrl

            The sad part is, there are many more like him. At this point, I don’t think even Bernie himself could rein them in.

          • amrak63

            Yeah, I wonder how many of the ones who were not ratfuckers or bots from the GOP or Russians (but I repeat myself) were really supporting Bernie instead of merely hating Hillary.

          • BosGrl

            I voted for him in the primary. But my love of country overcame my need for any particular person to be the D candidate.

          • Zippy W Pinhead

            Though he did a shit job of trying- that’s one of my biggest beefs with Bernie, he got a swelled head from all that adoration and did a lousy job of riding that tiger

        • (((fka_donnie_d)))

          Was that the Vile Maxim one?

      • commatoes

        They all share the same brain. So I think you should just call it multiple personality disorder. And complimenting, just call it mutual masturbation.

    • Edith Prickly

      I went over and had a look – good call.

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        It was done days ago- a few of us would respond to Disqus notifications just to keep them from overrunning the thread, but even that was kinda pointless and we were really doing it out of stubbornness

  • Walter Wellstone

    Make no mistake: This is exactly what President Bannon wants.

    • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

      Also Jill Stein and Susan Sarandon.

    • snigsy

      Kinda like when a landlord (lets say a NYC landlord) makes life intolerable for unwanted tenants, forcing them to move out.

      • commatoes

        I read that Donnie-Two-Scoops actually hates firing people (in person at least). He just makes their lives a living hell until they quit. Think Stephen Root’s character in “Office Space”. He wants Sessions to go, which would make Donnie’s life simpler, but he wants the Keebler Elf to quit of his own accord.

    • Snopes Shop

      Yup. meanwhile no one is even talking about him.

  • Jonny On Maui

    *sigh* When I think of all the things the United States could be, as opposed to what we’re doing…

    • FukuiSanYesOta

      Yep. It’s a crying shame. Yet enough pillocks voted for this weird yelly shitgibbon.

    • Courser_Resistance

      We were on the right road, too! Not where we need to be, by a long shot in many cases, but conversations were opening up!

      I feel very personally robbed of the later years of my life and I’m resentful as hell, if that amounts to anything.

      • GoutMachine

        Precisely. We were so getting there … and it will take generations to undone the damage this fuckhead has done and will do. Le sigh.

    • Three Finger Salute

      *sigh* When I think of all the things the United States could beThe country this article is about?

  • jesterpunk

    OT Trump is being sued by military members.

    http://www.cnn.com/2017/08/09/politics/first-lawsuit-trump-transgender-service-members/index.html

    Five active duty transgender service members filed the first lawsuit Wednesday against President Donald Trump’s directive — expressed on Twitter — to prohibit transgender individuals from serving in the armed forces.

    The service members, who are not named, all say they have relied on the Defense Department’s current policy permitting open service by transgender service members and argue Trump’s ban, which may result in early termination or failure to renew their contracts, is unconstitutional.

    The President’s three-tweet plan to stop transgender individuals from serving in the military has yet to be formally implemented, but attorneys for the service members have asked a federal court in Washington to block it immediately.

    • gallbladder

      “The President’s three-tweet plan…”

      If that doesn’t fucking say it all, I don’t know what does.

      • FukuiSanYesOta

        His entire executive strategy in five words.

        • Me not sure

          Three tweets, two grabs and a grunt and that’s a good days work for our little guy.

          • GoutMachine

            After that, a tantrum and a nap!

          • Me not sure

            No nap! No nap! You’re the nap! Donnie wants golf!

          • Zippy W Pinhead

            Not until he gets his afternoon bedtime story daily good news briefing

          • Three Finger Salute

            Three tweets and a bratty baby.

        • Strategy is definately pushing it there

          • Three Finger Salute

            Strategery?

      • Three Finger Salute

        Three tweets to the wind

    • Jonny On Maui

      Good!

    • commatoes

      We’re taking our orders via Twitter now?

      Spoken by an unknown staffer at the Pentagon.

      • jesterpunk

        The Pentagon and the leaders of all the branches said fuck that shit, we dont take orders by twit. Real thought out orders or GTFO.

  • Beanz&Berryz

    We used to have, and do, nice things, or at least try, sometimes. Before that fucker Reagan…

    • Jonny On Maui

      We used to actually pretend that we were good people. As long as the people we were good to looked and behaved exactly like us.

  • jesterpunk

    The New Colossus

    Not like the brazen giant of Greek fame,

    With conquering limbs astride from land to land;

    Here at our sea-washed, sunset gates shall stand

    A mighty woman with a torch, whose flame

    Is the imprisoned lightning, and her name

    Mother of Exiles. From her beacon-hand

    Glows world-wide welcome; her mild eyes command

    The air-bridged harbor that twin cities frame.

    “Keep ancient lands, your storied pomp!” cries she

    With silent lips. “Give me your tired, your poor,

    Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free,

    The wretched refuse of your teeming shore.

    Send these, the homeless, tempest-tost to me,

    I lift my lamp beside the golden door!”

    https://www.nps.gov/stli/learn/historyculture/colossus.htm

    • laughingnome

      tempest tost – is that like Texas toast?

      • Lambsendbeds

        No, more like avocado toast.

    • Lance Thrustwell

      It’s borderline doggerel – kitchen-verse, really. And yet it sorta makes me tear up. Early conditioning, I suppose.

    • doktorzoom

      * Offer void where prohibited.

  • The Wanderer

    Yeah, I know the cartoon was done for JFK, but it fits my mood:

    https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/I/61BL4avXJyL.jpg

  • jesterpunk
  • BoatOfVelociraptors

    Fortune 500 Companies like Amazon and Microsoft have opened up Vancouver offices to get around our racism.

    • BoatOfVelociraptors
    • jesterpunk

      Is that part of Trump’s plan to bring jobs to the US?

    • Three Finger Salute

      Elon Musk grew up in South Africa but moved to Canada and, I believe, went to college there. He’s bailed on Trump’s pathetic excuse for a “science panel” and is frustrated that he and his brownshirts keep kicking out all the immigrant tech workers so that 8th-grade dropouts can keep their 19th century buggy whip jobs. Supposedly, he’s thinking of going back to Canada where he knows the country’s leader is not only a science geek who supports investment in green technologies, but someone who isn’t going to kick out qualified people for the noncrime of hyperpigmentation. I guess Musk got tired of all that winning, eh.

      • commatoes

        So we get Musk and you keep Skrelli.

        I’m OK with that deal.

      • Komsumverweigerer Ron

        That would be… interesting. I wonder if the launch gantries are still in place in Churchill Manitoba?

  • Yellerduck

    Would they take me in? I can bring a bottle of wine or some snacks, and Cards against Humanity or something. I can speak Canadian…well, half of it, and I will do my best to be nice.

    • gallbladder

      Not a problem. We’ll tax you pretty good, but hey, better beer and beaver tails!

      • Lord, do i want a Beavertail. I haven’t had one in a couple of years

        • Komsumverweigerer Ron

          Is that what you kids are calling it nowadays?

      • commatoes

        Though your usage complimentary, Canadian women do not enjoy being referred to as “beaver tails”; regardless, that you deem them “better”.

        • Nope. It’s a fried foodstuff. Quite delicious

          • commatoes

            Yeah, I know. It’s just the erudite-pedant-with-the-sense-of-humour-of-a-five-year-old in me that comes out sometimes. Also, it’s a bit of a riff on Gilda Radner’s “Emily Litella” character from SNL. Yeah, I’m old.

          • amrak63

            What’s all this I’m hearing about erudite peasants? What’s wrong with that? I’m glad they’re getting an education! Even if they stay on the land, they’ll be smarter about growing crops and they can produce more food…

            Oh, erudite pedants.

            Never mind…

            (Yeah, I’m old, too.)

          • marxalot

            Never mind.

        • amrak63
      • MrTusks

        Tangentially relevant: A friend is preparing to go to England for 18 months and she just paid her NHS premium for her entire tenure.

        It was $350.

    • Courser_Resistance

      I speak French! Well, at least I used to. Spanish, some Italian and I’m learning Swedish, also, too! I’m sure I can speak French again, I just need a refresher and exposure.

      • puredog

        Well, they don’t really speak French in Canada. They speak Canadian French. Same ballpark, but way, way diffo. (It pretty much reads the same, though.)

        • Courser_Resistance

          Oh yeah, I’ve picked my way through Quebecois a time or two.

        • Tabernac, oui!

        • commatoes

          It’s a dialect like Cajun French or Texican English.

  • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

    “Is is impeached yet?” … is what I ask Mrs Pixelz several times every day.

    • whitroth

      If the news of the Manafort FBI raid means what I think, soon, soon, the meter-high piles of indictments for all of them will be unsealed soon.

      If he doesn’t start a nuclear war first.

      • Jonny On Maui

        “If I’m going down I’m taking everyone and everything with me!” is exactly the thing I believe the crazy one will do.

        • whitroth

          Exactly. He *knows* the net is tightening, and he can’t bribe/leverage his way out. I guarantee he remembers the leak, was it? not long after the inauguration, when someone from an intel agency, or former, wrote, “He’s going to die in jail”.

          I’m hoping the upshot is more peaceful, y’know, like they go upstairs one morning at the WH, and he’s “unresponsive”.

  • laughingnome

    USA! USA! USA!

    • Three Finger Salute

      U.S., eh?

  • Ryan Denniston

    Sometimes it just out and dawns on you how minor a deal email management is compared with other life events.

  • Ms.MLG on Maui

    This is a tragedy stuffed inside disastrous consequences, then glazed with shame and disgrace.

    • laughingnome

      wrapped inside an enema

      • Three Finger Salute

        …mixed with polonium, and smeared all over a plate of Vladimir Vladimirovich Poutine.

    • Bub, the cynical zombie

      A turducken of derp. With sauce a l’orange.

  • Lambsendbeds

    If I don a burqua do you think I can pass as a Syrian refugee?

    • laughingnome

      Can you walk like an Egyptian?

    • Fartknocker

      If your not granted asylum please don’t go into DeNile.

    • AnnieGetYerFun

      You’ll have to pass the hummus test.

  • Wild Cat

    Maybe we can have a telethon to make people like us again?
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w_UnBAQknLQ

  • Scooby

    They may not realise it now, but they will be better off.

    • elviouslyqueer

      Oh, I’d wager they already realize it.

  • elviouslyqueer

    I can’t decide whether to be mortified or depressed. So I’m gonna go with “needing a stiff cocktail right about 10 minutes ago.”

    • mardam422

      Why not both?

    • commatoes

      I have the day off. So 12:01 sounded good to me.

      • Komsumverweigerer Ron

        AM?

        • commatoes

          In a sense, either works.

          If we regard a singular arbitrary 12:00 noon as the zero point of a number line then every point deemed as greater than that arbitrary point will be defined as “after” noon. This is independent of the sinusoidal periodicity of the function as time is the independent variable. The dependent variable being the standardized value assigned for the “hour” position of the Earth in terms of its diurnal rotation and this discrete position’s angular relation to the Sun.

          See, I am using math, science, and logic to justify my drinky drinks at any hour. AIn’t lernin’ fun?

          • Komsumverweigerer Ron

            Own up, you just stole that from Time Cube and removed the superfluous capitalisation and insults, didn’t you?

          • commatoes

            No really, this is the way science geeks actually speak. It’s just neat sounding jargon.

            I remember reading about a house full of philosophy students in Jena, Germany. It was said that no one outside of that house could understand anything that was written by the house mates. Well, only with extensive study.

            Actually, I made a major error in my logic.

          • Komsumverweigerer Ron

            Do tell?

          • commatoes

            Graphing the function in terms of hours on an AM/PM clock is periodic but not sinusoidal because of it’s defined units. This makes my formula complicated. It is easier to define as an angle but that that defeats the purpose.

            Regardless, cogito ergo bibo.

    • AnnieGetYerFun

      That’s kind of every day now.

  • Three Finger Salute
    • Msgr_MΩment

      Isn’t there a Latin phrase, E pluribus somethingorother?

  • commatoes

    This one of the moments that I am proud that my country is at least trying to live up to its ideals (yeah, we are not a utopia yet).

    YEAH, I’M LOOKING AT YOU STEPHEN MILLER. YOU RESIDUE UNDER THE UNWASHED FORESKIN OF HUMANITY!!!

    Sometimes my version of Luther, Obama’s anger translator, comes out.

    My apologies.

    • bupkus231

      Can we pretend Miller wasn’t born in the US and deport him, too?

    • The Wanderer

      No need to apologize. I’m sure that Miller has been called a smeg-head at least once, and I believe that his skin color is rather close to fromunda cheese.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      I think you mean Smeg Gherkin.

    • Komsumverweigerer Ron

      I think we were expecting the 21st century to be kinda quiet, if a bit stressful. We Canucks are generally not comfortable being in the spotlight. We end up having to be what we keep saying we are, when we’d rather just open a beer and watch the Canadiens.

  • jesterpunk

    So we can take in people like Trump spokesNazi Gorka and Melon but cant take in refugees who actually need help. Fuck everyone who voted for Trump or sat home on their asses when they could have voted.

    • bupkus231

      Deport Sebaceous Gorka!!!

      • jesterpunk

        Well that too, but can he take Trump with him?

    • amrak63

      THE SECOND GROUP MOST OF ALL!

    • Three Finger Salute

      wrong skin color and/or religion

      http://i.imgur.com/WYwgGDB.png

  • bupkus231

    Anyone know if “fear of leader starting a war” is grounds to seek asylum?
    If so, Canada can expect a few million Americans to apply any moment now….
    I hope we don’t have to wait until oir “leader” actually starts a war – ‘coz it’s likely to be over before I can complete the application….

    • Three Finger Salute

      It becomes Warception if/when Trump says “fuck it, we’ll do it live” and starts a war with Canada. Thus forcing IMDb to reclassify Michael Moore’s only fictional movie as a documentary.

  • William

    *sigh*https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/0f4a0fbf9a018bd34495aa67451fe9794dbdfac04c6bbf1671748c5d4edc5e98.jpg

    • jesterpunk
    • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist
    • Three Finger Salute

      “Trudeau is a cuck and a gypsy Muslim who needs to stick to thigh-high boots.” -Fucker Carlson

      • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

        Lol. Is that a real quote? Because I can guarantee you Trudeau could kick the living shit out of Tucker.

        • commatoes

          I imagine JT asking “Do you really want me to make you cry in front of your friends?”

          • Three Finger Salute

            Assumes friends not in existence.

        • Edith Prickly

          ationalpost.com/news/canada/the-fight-how-justin-trudeau-outclassed-patrick-brazeau-five-years-ago-in-a-boxing-match-for-the-ages/wcm/a6cc9e84-25dd-485a-a451-53d2408c415b

          • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

            My wife and I watched this recently. It was glorious.

          • Parakeetist

            Link does not work

          • Edith Prickly

            Thanks, fixed it!

        • Three Finger Salute

          No, a mashup (minus “cuck”) of Fucker’s sentiments about 1) Trudeau, 2) Romani people (see also Ezra Levant’s rant that he basically plagiarized from), 3) Muslims, 4) Lauren Duca, and 5) AOT,K.

      • OrdinaryJoe

        Trudeau should challenge Fucker to three rounds, purse to favorite charity. Then rearrange the Fucker’s nose.

        • Three Finger Salute

          After which, he’d of course say “sorry.”

        • Donnie would ask what kind of loser charity would want an expensive purse.

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        Swanson trust fund babby says what?

      • Edith Prickly

        Bring it, bowtie boy. Patrick Brazeau found out the hard way that you underestimate JT at your peril… https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/951d76f4bf12d7a88a8b7cc9cfd5519da9e00731ef1e6d0e7c1dd98d8eac4a73.jpg

        • calliecallie

          OMG, that picture! He could be a movie star. Why can’t all politicians look at act like that? Think how much more interesting government would be!

      • SDGeoff3

        Say that to his face.
        Right now. Say it to his face.

    • OrdinaryJoe

      The final step is when Canada starts bringing in Mexican workers for the harvesting and Europe will only buy THEIR wheat.

      • Komsumverweigerer Ron

        Around here it’s Jamaicans. They come to Canada, help with the vegetable harvest AND the packing season, and quite often end up staying. Quite a lot of little communities of ’em all through southwestern Ontario.

    • commatoes

      Our PM building a pillow fort with a little girl Bella, who won a contest to be “Prime Minister For A Day”.

      https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/310f41467008ebb5aaa282dfba6598a90d61d8e6dcc70d5818465e97716983ce.jpg

      and

      https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/2ceb19114d12859ae7671e8c1fc025510076d75bae715d04ad727f9519e5d9a9.jpg

      I imagine Trump doing this by himself in the Oval Office.

      • Major_Major_Major

        Fuck you Canada, enough goddamn gloating.

        • kareemachan

          I, for one, LOVE their sense of humour.

          • SDGeoff3

            Their sense of spelling, however….

          • Komsumverweigerer Ron

            Hey, WE’RE not the ones who’re too lazy to insert the extra ‘u’s where they belong!

          • commatoes

            Noah Webster a MGHOW.

          • SDGeoff3

            I will sit in my corner now.

      • William

        wow. I am jealous.

      • YoBunnyBunny

        The ugly blue donkey stuffy just pulls the whole scene together. Love it!

  • Skwerl the Taco Hunter
  • SayItWithWookies

    In the community of nations, America is drunk David Hasselhoff being filmed by his daughter as he lies on the floor unsuccessfully trying to eat a cheeseburger.

  • proudgrampa

    Those Canadians — they are SO Cosmopolitan, eh?

    I love ’em.

  • Anna Rompage

    Come to America for the freedom, leave because of the xenophobic discrimination…

    • Three Finger Salute

      …and the guns… and the woeful lack of humane safety net… and the fact that we’re now a de facto Russian outpost…

      You know what? Stick a fork in this eagle. It’s done.

  • spangled

    y’all know any canadians looking to get married? not picky…just looking for a legal Canadian citizen *wink*

  • Biel_ze_Bubba

    Might be time to ship the Statue of Liberty to Montreal. She’s foreign, doesn’t speak English, has no advanced degrees, and won’t be applying for a job a Mar-a-Lago.

  • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

    I’m sure this will lead to a measured, reasonable response from Donnie Two Scoops. Like banning the Blue Jays, Raptors and Maple Leafs from playing American sportsball.

    • OrG in Amsterdam

      Toronto FC.

    • Bub, the cynical zombie

      Ice Hockey is neither American, nor sportsBALL.

      • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

        That’s what they want you to think. *wink*

      • Latverian Diplomat

        Sportsball is the official Wonkette term for all activities where grown men dress in bright colors and slap each other on the ass…but not in that way.

        • Jonny On Maui

          FTW

        • commatoes
        • Sakonyachen

          “but not in that way”

          Is this why I was always kicked off the team?

    • Latverian Diplomat

      “Canadian Hockey and Basketball Teams will be replaced by Russian Teams. Canadian Baseball teams will be replaced by teams from the Philippines. I know who my real friends are.”
      — Donald Trump

      • Three Finger Salute

        Eh Trump, go puck yourself. Hoser.

    • Major_Major_Major

      To be fair, with the Leafs it’s not like they are actually competing.
      I know they made the playoffs last year

      • Three Finger Salute

        Trump will get really mad that they dared to draft a Muslim.

        Don’t tell Sessions that P.K. Subban exists either.

      • Komsumverweigerer Ron

        They make the playoffs EVERY year. And choke in the first round.

        • marxalot

          The Make Believes?

          • Komsumverweigerer Ron

            Eyup.

        • Sakonyachen

          So they are the Canadian Blues?

        • Major_Major_Major

          I still remember warmly St. Patrice and his game 7 heroics like it was yesterday. Not been too many great memories since from the Bs.

    • theblackdog

      If he bans Sidney Crosby I’d be okay with that.

  • Jonny On Maui

    🎶Tiiiii’iime is on our side, yes it is…🎶

    OT: Seventeen years from law to dispensaries
    http://www.mauinews.com/news/local-news/2017/08/seventeen-years-from-law-to-dispensaries/

  • Latverian Diplomat

    “I love the smell of maple syrup in the morning..it smells like…freedom.”

  • Fartknocker

    So at the Canada Welcome Center do they serve poutines and canadian whisky to all the new refugees?

    • jesterpunk

      I hear they teach them all how to play hockey though.

      • Wild Cat

        You’ve confused Canada with Finland and Russia and Sweden and the Czech Republic . . .

        • jesterpunk

          Canada invented Hockey.

          • georgiaburning

            Dog help you if you get that question wrong at the border

        • kareemachan

          And Canada likes curling, also, too.

          (spoken as someone who gets Canadian channels on TV)

      • OrG in Amsterdam

        I’ll learn.

      • Three Finger Salute
        • jesterpunk

          isnt curling just an excuse to get people to clean the ice when the zamboni isnt available?

          • snigsy

            It’s an excuse to drink beer.

          • Amy!

            What isn’t, eh?

          • commatoes

            You guys need excuses?

            To quote the eminent philosopher Cliff Clavin, “What else are going to do with it?”

          • BadKitty904

            Any sport involving ice is evil.

        • Komsumverweigerer Ron

          Half the fun of watching curling is listening to the amazing variety of accents screaming ‘HURRY HARD!’

          • Three Finger Salute

            So curling is like a drunken orgy at the U.N. Good to know…

        • marxalot

          Women’s curling trials are the most soothing thing to watch when you’re hungover.

      • jaspersdad
    • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

      TimBits

    • Three Finger Salute
    • Ms.MLG on Maui

      They all get a maple leaf bouquet. Celine Dion is there.

      • Snark Tank Full of Resistance

        Well, I was all excited aboot the poutine and whiskey, but then I heard aboot Celine Dion and now I’m all….”hmmm….I dunno…..”

        I suppose it could have been worse. Could have been Nickelback, or Justin Beiber. Can I have that bitch, Anne Murray, too?

        • Three Finger Salute

          Anne Murray libelz! ‘Specially since she, Justin and Sacha all share a Christmas birthday. That’s just downright magical.

          https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1U_dINBHgw8

        • commatoes

          Beiber was a nice kid in Canada and you guys broke him. No takebacksies.

          • Three Finger Salute

            Canada’s smart. They got rid of Scumbag Steve in exchange for a much, much better Justin.

            https://nationalpostcom.files.wordpress.com/2012/11/bieber_harper-1.jpg

          • brittany

            To put this into perspective for those of you who don’t know the story behind this pic, this is how Beiber showed up to receive his Diamond Jubilee medal (which is supposed to be a pretty big deal)…seeing as he doesn’t talk much about politics, I doubt it was a protest against either Harper or the monarchy.

      • Sakonyachen

        I wouldn’t be surprised if she was. I like her, as long as she doesn’t sing.

  • jesterpunk

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pph1tnEydQM

    he said this is a mecca i said this ain’t no mecca man, this place’s fucked

    3 months go by, he had no home he had no food he’s all alone

    Matty said fool me once shame on you didn’t fool me twice

  • William
  • Zippy W Pinhead
  • kareemachan

    Let us not forget that grad students are going to Canadian universities BIG TIME these days. Not US ones.

    • jesterpunk

      Also to German schools and scientists are going to Europe too because of Turnip.

      • Three Finger Salute

        Macron trolled Trump bigly with the name of his pro-environment website. It’s called “Make the Planet Great Again.”

    • Latverian Diplomat

      “The nice part about a brain drain, is the GOP will never miss it.”
      — Ron Johnson

    • hudson srinivasan

      at least in my field, all the cool and fundamental stuff was done by americans. that’s not gonna change in the foreseeable future. there is is a critical mass of intellectualism here that is is invariant to governance. you don’t win betting against our strengths.

  • hudson srinivasan

    what was lady liberty even thinking? westrun civilization has alway been about eurasian types of a particular flavour hasn’t it, how dare the browns claim any stake in it?

  • Zippy W Pinhead
  • Khavrinen

    “Canadians sure are funny. They don’t even scream at people in need and tell them to stay the hell oot. How odd.”

    No signs reading “Learn English and French or go home!”, either? Boy, that is weird.

    • William
      • Hardly Ideal

        There was a great one on NPR with Mike Myers about Canadian humor.
        http://www.npr.org/2017/06/30/534969891/comedian-mike-myers-on-canada-and-canada

        • William

          A part of me likes vinyl café because of the accent.

          • snigsy

            RIP Stuart McLean.

          • Richard Girlswin

            I grew up with his voice in the living room every Sunday. :(

          • Komsumverweigerer Ron

            WHAT accent?

          • canuckgirl

            …and we don’t say oot and aboot.

          • Sakonyachen

            You just did! Checkmate Canada! Can I haz citizenship now?

          • Komsumverweigerer Ron

            Unless we’re describing our winter footwear.

    • hudson srinivasan

      they have not yet hit the critical mass of problems the US has, is all I can guess. As Obama said, there is nothing wrong with the US, that US cannot fix.

    • Komsumverweigerer Ron

      We’re funny that way. You can spend a week in Toronto and not hear a word of either.

      • ahughes798

        Italian is also used by a great many in Montreal, at least. Some Quebecois speak 3 languages fluently. The only time someone was mean to me in Quebec was when I went to buy cigarettes, and the lady behind the counter got kind of angry that I could not ask for them in French.

        • Komsumverweigerer Ron

          That last is, thankfully, rare.
          I used to be one of those people. Until I was 5 we lived in a very multi-ethnic suburb of Montreal, and I’m told that thanks to my friends I was fluent in English, French and Italian. Now I only know enough French and Italian to get into trouble. Sometimes I wonder what my life would have been like if we’d stayed…

    • Richard Girlswin

      Well, in Quebec they really prefer French.

  • BadKitty904

    America’s loss is our international competitors’ gain. THANKS, GOP!!!

  • CountryClubJihadi

    I would also like to get the fuck oot of here.

  • The Librarian

    I’ve done Canadian research, both federal and provincial. Does that help my cause?*

    *I seriously thought about emigrating with spawn years ago, when I was young enough to pass the test on the Canadian immigration site.

    • BadKitty904

      Two words: British. Columbia.

      • The Librarian

        I like those two words!

        • BadKitty904

          The warmest part of Canada. That’s where me and the hubby are moving if this Republican bullshittery becomes terminal.

          • The Librarian

            That works. Also too, I’ve been there and like it.

          • Richard Girlswin

            Fair warning: Juan de Fuca plate.

          • The Librarian

            I’ve been through several, my friend, but thank you.

          • Richard Girlswin

            I was referring to the massive twice a millenia superquake the west coast is really overdue for. It’s gonna toss Vancouver like a skillet of vegetables.

          • The Librarian

            I’m already on the west coast, so either or. :)

          • ahughes798

            Not to mention the Yellowstone Caldera, which will take care of anything east of it.

          • Nasty Girl Brianna

            Pro tip: there is a direct ferry from Seattle to Victoria called the Victoria Clipper. And the border guards there are actually NICE!

          • BadKitty904

            <– takes notes

          • ahughes798

            The Canadian border guards are nice..to a fault. We would cross into Canada up by Ft. Francis. On return, the American border guards were pricks. One time they tore apart our damn car for no reason, and they didn’t help us put anything back.

    • marxalot

      Librarian is (currenly) a NAFTA covered profession… so, get a library gig in the country, then once you’re there and not a drain on the public purse, do your damnedest to get sanctuary status as your country of origin is unstable?

      • The Librarian

        That might work since Trump and stability are not inclusive.

  • William
    • The Librarian

      That took me a second, lol.

  • Ricky Gay

    Build the wall!!!!11!

  • Bitter Scribe

    a loophole that would have sent them back to the US and gotten them deported.

    It’s perhaps pointing out that this “loophole” consists of the fact that 1) under international law, refugees are not legally permitted to go from one “safe country” to another; 2) both the U.S. and Canada are officially classified as “safe countries,” but 3) Canada recognizes conditions like crushing poverty, rampant disease and out-of-control gang violence as reasons not to ship refugees back to their home countries, while in the good old USA, you practically need a Certificate of Fatwah issued by ISIS before they’ll consider letting you stay permanently.

    Canada is reportedly thinking about trying to get us off the list of safe countries so refugees can come over the U.S. border legally. Supposedly Trudeau is worried that this would “embarrass” Trump and the U.S. Attention Prime Minister: 1) the man has no shame whatever, and 2) you cannot possibly embarrass us any worse than he does every waking hour.

    • William
      • Three Finger Salute

        Like I said. He doesn’t really care. He just wants to ride out the storm until ’20 or ’24 so as not to burn bridges with the elephant if/when sanity ever comes back to D.C. He despises Trump privately, and won’t let the women in his life anywhere near him. The hoser lied in his bullshit memoir about Maggie trying to get with him in the ’80s, just like he stalked Princess Diana and lied about Carla Bruni. If he ever so much as tried to shake Sophie’s hand, he’d get an elbow to the nuts. If he even acknowledged that Ella existed, Justin — and Sacha — would beat the shit out of him in a dark alley. The Trudeaus know that Trump is a waste of space and time.

        But Justin nevertheless has to indulge Donnie’s delusions (hence the “gift” of the picture with Donnie and Pierre), otherwise he’s going to go all “fuck it, we’ll do it live” on NAFTA and possibly even worse. It’s not really 1812 anymore, and no amount of Mounties setting off flare guns off the CN Tower would forestall a MOAB. Papa only had to deal with Nixon. Justin has to deal with Kim Jong Spray-Tan. “Embarrassment” is a polite way of saying “this hoser has flipped his canoe and we don’t want to get sunk.”

    • YoBunnyBunny

      Hmmm…. take us off the “safe list”? It would probably be the most compassionate thing Two Scoops could inadvertently do.

      Would it also mean native-born U.S. Americans could get declared as refugees and join those nice little refugee camps?

      • canuckgirl

        Not a chance YoBunny. I have US friends asking the same thing.

    • Three Finger Salute

      Supposedly Trudeau is worried that this would “embarrass” Trump and the U.S.

      He doesn’t care about “embarrassing” the U.S. He cares about the retaliatory consequences for “embarrassing” the U.S. and what Trump in his narcissistic delusions would think of as a “betrayal” by his Newfoundland Friend™. He knows presidents are term-limited, so he’s hoping to just ride out the storm rather than burn bridges with Canada’s southern neighbor — and at this point, possibly risk economic ravages being wrought by Trump wreaking havoc on NAFTA (which he would get blamed for no matter what), and/or a MOAB being dropped on Ottawa. Perhaps AOT,K.

      • Canadian_Bacon

        I’m a little more worried about North Korean nukes falling short of Chicago and taking out Canadian cities instead.

        • Three Finger Salute

          They’d hit B.C. because it’s British China now.

          • Nasty Girl Brianna

            Has been since the 90’s.

    • commatoes

      Embarrassed?

      That ship has sailed.

      • Three Finger Salute

        Sunk*

        FTFY

      • wavicles

        Mostly nauseous, I’ve noticed.

  • Three Finger Salute

    Worth revisiting

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9gT-vJg-EfM

    “We don’t blame all Americans for Donald Trump.” -Woman who sponsors refugees

    Talk about burning the White House.

  • Randy Riddle

    Much of the US South is nice, if you don’t mind the crushing poverty and cholera epidemics.

    • Three Finger Salute

      Or the fact that Trump’s ignorance of climate change means Dixieland will be the New Atlantis by the end of the century.

    • Me not sure

      Pelagra. Let’s not leave that out.

    • marxalot

      And feral hogs.

    • Bobathonic

      Hey, if I hadn’t spent my yoot in the south, I would never had heard of eating kaolin.

      • Bill Diaz

        [insert Squidbillies clip here with Grandma saying ‘You young’uns need to know what ricketts feels like!’]

        Have a great day!

  • BJW

    Uh Doc, methinks we are living in a dystopian scifi novel. Except without the fi. :(

    • marxalot

      And severly lacking in most of the sci, too.

      • BJW

        Exactly. Little sci no fi. Just dystopian. Dammit.

  • armed_bears

    I’ll learn to speak French if I have to, but I refuse hockey.

  • canuckgirl

    The fact missed in this article is, not everyone will be able to stay here in Canada. We do have a process that must be adhered to and we are overwhelmed with asylum seekers and refugees especially in Quebec. Yes, we welcome immigrants but we do have a system in place to evaluate each applicant. We do not ask that everyone know how to speak either of our Official languages before they arrive, but for citizenship they must learn English or French. Quebec is a unilingual province so French is it. All other provinces and territories are English speaking populations.
    We are funny about not yelling at new immigrants, it’s not polite after all.

    • Three Finger Salute

      One of the requirements for immigrants is that you have marketable skills. Which means I probably wouldn’t be welcomed in anyway, sad to say, as I don’t even have marketable skills in my own country. I do have a college education, but then so does everyone and their brother these days. Usually it’s in something useless that doesn’t involve systematizing the synergy, and therefore won’t get you hired at a place like Google.

      A liberal arts major can be a teacher, I guess (most of the kids who graduated with me — and didn’t go on to Wendy’s or T.J. Maxx — ended up going to grad school for education degrees). But I don’t have the chutzpah to stand in front of a class (even if it’s toddlers) and “perform.” I also can’t interview, period. I could very easily do sticker-giver jobs at Costco (do they give out stickers?) if you could just hand in your resume and get hired based on qualifications alone, without having to meet the boss or anyone from HR.

      I’m a loner; I’m terrified of people (which is another knock against me — a genetic defective with a mental health disorder that would put an undue burden on the social service system). If I was trying to emigrate to the U.S. from someplace else, I probably wouldn’t pass muster either. Which sucks, because it’s not that I’m totally incapable of doing the tasks, it’s just that I can’t stomach sitting in a small office and having a complete stranger ask me questions about being a team player — and my prospects for even putting food on the table hinging on how I answer those questions and play nice with my coworkers. I’d do better alone in an animal cage than with the world’s #1 apex predators! Are they looking for anyone to soothe the savage beasts at the Toronto Zoo? The Justin Trudeau Hug-a-Panda Program?

      • Lefty Wright

        If you made it through college, you can find a job with limited public contact. After all, unless you were in an unusual program, you interacted with others a lot in college. Being an introvert is not a disqualifying problem. Unless you just cannot tolerate interacting with co-workers, there are jobs with little interaction with bosses and fellow workers, although you may find the work boring after a while. But you may find you do get along well with some people, just not everyone. I’m not familiar with all the various types of jobs out there, but information processing, analysis, and many other jobs have people doing most of their work alone with little supervision. There are increasing numbers of work at home positions. It does not look like you have trouble expressing yourself and I guess you have availed yourself to counseling. You may want to check jobs in university settings or state and larger city governments. Get a little experience, even if it’s routine clerical work. Get the requisite number of forms reviewed and processed and you don’t have to concern yourself with the team. Branch out from there. As long as you are civil, lots of jobs have little personal interactions. In fact, some bosses would rather have someone sitting quietly doing their job than a social butterfly on the phone or roaming the cubicles all day long.

        • Three Finger Salute

          The interview is the stumbling block. Like I said, I know I could undoubtedly do the tasks of the job if I knew I would be hired based on qualifications alone. I’d even apply to grad school, book a plane ride, and take off for U of T or McGill or UBC tomorrow if accepted — if, once it was over, I didn’t have to get up on stage or in front of the class and defend my thesis. I liked college, and always did very well academically (graduated with a 3.98, and the points off were only because of a B in math), other than group projects (for which I always ended up doing all the work) and the dreaded presentations. As for actually getting to the point of having the job, I just can’t tolerate the interrogation process, because I’m already expecting the Spanish Inquisition.

          I don’t want to go on record with a paper trail of having an anxiety disorder either. Cancer is usually fatal and far more destructive physically, yet much less stigmatized due to the tragic sympathy factor (Ron Johnson notwithstanding). Psychological abnormalities, however, will get you the side-eye and raise a red flag, like you’re some kind of ticking time bomb who’s going to shoot up the place or slash someone’s throat in the parking garage and then make a bodysuit out of their skin. When really all I am is shy…

          Which is a sad fact in the context of this article, and the general subject, about people (like me, and undoubtedly others) who want to emigrate to Canada and probably could meet most of the criteria, because it means in the 20 years since poor Maggie started her activism campaign (and her sons as well) encouraging sympathy rather than hostility for people with mental health concerns, the needle hasn’t moved one bit.

          A radio host even got fired from Bell Canada for requesting a two-week medical leave from work for mental health reasons. This is the company that hosts a nationwide “Let’s Talk” campaign to get people to open up about mental health concerns, for which the Trudeau family are sort of unofficial spokespeople — but when someone actually did, the company obviously didn’t practice what they preach. They deny it, of course, but that seems to me more like a CYA they-said-she-said plausible deniability sort of thing because we all know how people with emotional struggles are treated in general. Which only adds to more emotional struggles and creates a vicious circle, sad to say.

      • Nasty Girl Brianna

        My Sikh bus driver had a PhD in physics from a prestigious university in India. He said that nobody in Canada would recognize his degree, so he was forced to drive a city bus in order to make a living. Does that count?

        • Three Finger Salute

          I suppose I could get a bus-driving license… I won’t do Uber though, because Uber is basically the Rape.exe app. And I don’t have a car of my own.

  • IdiotsforPalin

    Meanwhile, back at Bedminster: https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/8cd3b811d16a5bf3c0009eaa5d3b75c15d8f6c441c4020b66298eae02ed65884.jpg How’s the fish here….
    The bestest, I had it for lunch…….phhffffffttttttt

  • miss_grundy

    When the United States has a president who is a racist bigot who remains silent when people of color are attacked, you can’t expect people, who feel threatened, to want to leave this country and live in a place where immigrants are welcomed.

    • Three Finger Salute

      I think sooner or later Canada will have to welcome American-born refugees, especially women and LGBT. If they did, I’d get in on the first count, and maybe a second qualification of having an IQ higher than my shoe size. Niemoller’s Law of totalitarian regimes: at some point, they will come for you.

    • Serai 1

      Actually, I would expect them to want to leave.

  • Three Finger Salute

    I gave up on the OT because Stein is cringeworthy and I want to hang out on the Canada thread instead. Justin makes me feel good 😎

    • Richard Girlswin

      Canada, where the Green Party isn’t fucking demented.

  • Sakonyachen

    “New Wave of Refugees Is Fleeing To Canada”

    SAKONYACHEN LIBULZZZ!!!!11!!!

  • Mack N. Nietzsche

    But…but…THEY HAVE POUTINE THERE! It’s like the best! It’s like chili cheese fries but BETTER!

    • Three Finger Salute

      I’d like to try that someday. It’s on my bucket list of things to do. Which, by default, includes visiting Canada at least once, because for obvious reasons starting with Dunkin’ and ending with Donuts, we don’t have Timmies or anything resembling Canadian cuisine in New England. There are more Dunkin Donuts on street corners here than hookers in Vegas. Or, for that matter, Timmies in Canada. Therefore AOT,K.

      • Mack N. Nietzsche

        For one year, there was a Poutine restaurant on the Hill in Boulder. I tried it a few times and loved it. I sort of make a fake poutine by ordering chili cheese fries with green-chili and cheese curds at one of my favorite places.

        • Nasty Girl Brianna

          Poutine is dead easy to make. Just fries, cheese curds, and beef gravy. In that order.

      • brittany

        I’m not sure why, but there’s a small area in Maine that seems to love their Timmies!

        https://www.google.ca/search?q=Tim+hortons+in+new+england&npsic=0&rflfq=1&rlha=0&rllag=42854091,-71110181,306193&tbm=lcl&ved=0ahUKEwjG3NWtzMvVAhUY8YMKHQZUAYIQtgMIKg&tbs=lrf:!2m1!1e3!3sIAE,lf:1,lf_ui:4&rldoc=1#rlfi=hd:;si:;mv:!1m3!1d967388.5628508483!2d-69.19620409062497!3d44.961587543593204!3m2!1i946!2i514!4f13.1

        • Three Finger Salute

          Well, Maine is a lot closer to the Canadian border than MA/RI/CT. I know the franchises didn’t last for too long down this way. Ironically, Timmies is a Merkinese company now that it’s owned by Burger King. Canada Dry? Made by Dr. Pepper. Molson is a partner with Coors. Labatt, a subsidiary of Anheuser-Busch. AbeBooks, bought by Amazon in 2008. Then there’s the infamous Seagram’s disaster.

          So no wonder J.T. knows Trump is holding a sword of Damocles over Canada’s head when it comes to NAFTA — and that there really is no such thing as X country “first” anymore. If Trump was to punish American companies for not divesting of their foreign properties as meat to his base, probably half of Canada’s signature brands — including Timmies — would cease to exist!

          • Richard Girlswin

            Tim Horton’s is often partnered in tandem with Wendy’s or Coldstone in parts of the midwest, at least. Much smaller market share, still.

    • Richard Girlswin

      It’s good but I’ll usually take the chili cheese fries.

      • irishdave3

        I like…Tacos, eh?

  • Three Finger Salute

    Moar props for Canada. While the KKKeebler Elfenfuhrer unleashes Johnny Reb all over innocent people possessing a plant (most of them, undoubtedly, also possessing elevated melanin pigment), Neil Ty the Science Guy (and probably Drake too) says there’s no logical reason why people shouldn’t be able to smoke DeGrasse to get High.

    Echoing “Cosmos” predecessor Carl Sagan, astrophysicist Neil DeGrasse Tyson says there’s “no reason” for cannabis to remain illegal

    A fucking leaf. Because it’s (soon to be, barring nuclear annihilation) 2018.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/c2ae3c93a121b191211b6fa055cf200b2b8bdfd7778fb8a73b33c7bd24068b6c.jpg

    • Nasty Girl Brianna

      Actually, it’s the flower that contains the active ingredient, not the leaf. Smoking leaves will just give you a headache.

      • No, not really XD Have done leaf and bud both. Both are good!

        • Nasty Girl Brianna

          Well the leaves might have a little bit of THC on them, but the buds are where it all comes from.

          (She said knowingly, packing the super high potency Wedding Cake Hybrid into her pipe).

          • Richard Girlswin

            Also too, the trichomes are produced as part of the mating process. The more desperate to mate, the more THC. THC is plant lust.

          • Regret

            Cannabis leaf tea tastes great, doesn’t really give a buzz though.

        • Three Finger Salute

          I usually hate sequels, but I’d be open to “Strange Bud” featuring the daughters of Bob and Doug MacKenzie, played by the gals from Broad City.

        • Richard Girlswin

          No she’s right. Any on the leaves has collected after falling off the flowers.

      • Serai 1

        Leaf is good for cooking.

        • Three Finger Salute

          There’s a PDF of the old “Anarchist Cookbook” floating around on the Internet and on one of the pages, there’s a recipe for Pot Salad.

          • BreakingDeadMen

            “Hi, do you have The Antarctic Cookbook”
            “Not familiar with that one. What’s in it, recipes for roast penguin with fava beans?”
            –Actual reference question at local library, with snarkier answer than actually given.

          • Three Finger Salute

            I have a little piece of the Internet somewhere in the archives of Yahoo Answers. Similar to the classic “how is babby fromed”:

            Asker:
            “Can you get pregnant if you don’t have an organism?”

            Me:
            “Some organisms reproduce asexually. But I’ve heard there are some pretty horny amoebas out there.”

            5 ⭐️ ⭐️ ⭐️ ⭐️ ⭐️. I won meaningless Internet points and a tiny bit of pride because the “community” picked mine as Best Answer.

    • Serai 1

      Technically, flower. Nobody smokes leaf anymore unless they’re really broke.

      • Three Finger Salute

        Makes for a good flag meme though. I wonder if there’s a way to grow a strain that’s maple-scented, because from what I’ve heard, weed doesn’t exactly carry the nicest aroma. If Australia legalizes it (I don’t think they have; they’re still waffling on marriage equality, so it seems they’re a bit behind even the USA), they should have a eucalyptus version. Sure puts the “Vape” in Vicks VapoRub. And the “Vicks,” if it’s cultivated in Victoria.

        • Regret

          The smell depends on the cultivar. I usually like it, but it is a very strong and distinctive smell so I can imagine people not liking it.

          Weed smells a thousand times better than tobacco though, it also doesn’t make your kisses taste like ashes as much as tobacco.

          Coffee-breath is horrible as well, since we are speaking of legal mind-altering substances.

          • Three Finger Salute

            Beer has got to be the worst. Alcoholism runs in my family and I have a heightened sensory awareness, so whenever I smell booze on someone’s breath it actually does “trigger” me (and I hate that word being overused by Tumblr trolls who claim they’re “triggered” by mountain-out-of-a-molehill crap like sombrero Halloween costumes and wartime Bugs Bunny cartoons). But it also makes me sick to my stomach even without the emotional connection. I’ll never understand how people like it so much.

          • ahughes798

            My aunt was a seekrit alcholic, but back in those days it was Vodka Gimlets or Tom Collins. I hate the smell of beer, the taste of it….everything. And I’ve tried hard to like it, because it could be a cheap buzz. But I just can’t do it.

          • ahughes798

            First place for me would be stale beer breath. Second place would be coffee breath. Since I smoke, I brush my teeth 3 times a day, and eat Altoids Curiously Strong Cinnamon Mints. They do not in any way make me want to grab anybody’s pussy.

        • Serai 1

          I think weed has a very nice aroma. Lots of people do. It’s a personal thing, I guess. Like the idea that it smells sweet. I’ve never understood that. It’s a nice smell, but “sweet” isn’t a word I’d use to describe it.

          • Throughout the late 1960s, newspaper accounts of hippie dens or country communes always described the smell of weed as “sickly sweet”. That puzzled me for a year or two, until I realized that one of the first journalists to cover this must have gone to a party where they were burning incense, and didn’t realize that most of what he smelled wasn’t Mary Jane. The other kids then described it that way, because “everybody knows” that it produces sickly sweet smoke.

            Yeah, it’s not foul, but its distinctive smell is rather like burning natural fiber rope or canvas.

      • ahughes798

        Those little tiny leaves that grow out of the bud are one type of leaf that is just fine! But the big leaves, yes, they’re for desperate times.

        • OppressedMass

          What? No one does seeds and stems any more?
          Bah, kids today – you don’t know the meaning of “desperate”

          • Just keep some cheap lab glassware on hand. A pound of seeds and stems, some pure grain alcohol, and you can come up with several grams of decent hash. Don’t they teach chemistry with lab work in high school anymore?

          • ahughes798

            Oh, I don’t know..smoking resin is pretty damn down that road.

  • mailman27

    The national embarrassment continues apace.

    • My American half is so ashamed, my Canadian half so proud!

  • brittany

    Most Canadians are accepting of immigration, and especially refugees, but we do have our share of xenophobic assholes…they can’t even stand other Canadians trying to help refugees.

    Exhibit A (if you feel the need to delete it, I completely understand):
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/1db4ebeedb34f666be416706973218266f9df8d2e453b4093279c1f146276b1f.jpg

    • Are you sure they are not MAGA jackasses pretending to be Canadian?

      • JustDon’tSayDignity

        I mean, the Red Sox logo suggests non-Canadienne, nez pas?

        • brittany

          It could mean that, but there’s a lot of Canadians who are hardcore fans of American sports teams.

          • Richard Girlswin

            Also that live by choice in ‘Merka, as opposed to America or Canada.

      • Three Finger Salute

        That’s likely. Canada does have their share of them though, see above. Probably all pseudonyms of “John Barron” one way or the other. Or that stock-photo black Trump girl. That one guy there, though, with the BoSox avatar — not sure how many Boston sports fans there are in North Hockeystan? I mean sure, there’s Kevin O’Leary, but geography isn’t exactly his strong suit. Thankfully, he was “just visiting,” and now, “he’s out.” I ‘memba when he was totally going to “drain the swamp” in Ontario, even though he loved that dirty water down by the River Charles…

      • brittany

        Google Kudatah.

        Be sure to use that exact spelling.

        • Three Finger Salute

          Oh fuddle-duddle. They’re trying to infiltrate a country that has French as one of its official languages — and they can’t even spell coup d’etat?

          Kudatah, mon frère,
          Kudatah,
          Kudatah, mon frère,
          Kudatah,
          Kudatah, mon frère,
          Kudatah,
          Comrade! Kudatah!

        • Grumpy Twat

          Once again, I don’t know whether to laugh or cry. That is hilarious.

      • ltmcdies

        a number of them are while not changing their location from Swampnut, Louisiana

      • Mysterious Masked Wrestler

        One thing Americans rarely realize: there are always Canadians among you. This is as true of the Wonkette non-comments as it is of any American website. This is because Canada is much less populous, has less of a market for local pop culture, and as such is heavily influenced by the US. Unfortunately,this also means that some Canadians fall into every internet “community” associated with deplorables, and bring that shit back home.

    • Three Finger Salute

      Some Canadian commenters here have said that the cesspool on CBC’s noncomments section in particular are either Russian bots or ugly Americans. That said, even despite having never visited there, let alone ventured much farther than 20 miles from my hometown (I’ve never been on a plane), I’m sure every country has their share of assholes.

      Canada included — Ezra Levant and his lackeys at Deplorebel Media are particularly objectionable, and have gotten to the point of being dangerous. Jack Posobiec spread the #MacronLeaks with Russia’s help to try and tip the French election for Le Pen. Gavin McInnes has a bizarre frat-boy cult that harassed First Nations protesters in Halifax. Lauren Southern is now in Europe, where she’s part of a neo-Nazi group that tries to sabotage boats carrying refugees — in the hopes that they’ll sink and drown.

      Levant, for now, is smart enough to keep his trolling confined to the trash-talk realm — but boy, is his trash talk damaging and indeed libelous. He’s a deranged, self-hating “Jewish Nazi” in the vein of Scumbag Stephen Miller and Milo Hitlerpotamus, who blames all of his failures in life on the Trudeau family and Justin in particular. He did the play-by-play for the Trudeau-Brazeau fight and was egging on Brazeau to beat Justin to death. A lot of people apparently think he’s a closet case who has a hate-crush on “Shiny Pony,” and is tormented by it to the point of near-madness.

      But the important thing is that there is balance in the Force and the trolls aren’t allowed to overtake the place. They’ll always exist, but as long as they’re in such paltry numbers and/or social standing culture-wise as to be effectively neutered, progress will win and the Dark Side won’t.

      • brittany

        You would probably enjoy this facebook page:

        https://www.facebook.com/Comments-From-Sun-News-Fans-488165491305517/

        • Three Finger Salute

          Faceborg is blocked in my firewall and Hosts file but I was able to see it in a proxy. This retort is the best:

          Love the Soros conspiracy stuff though. I mean, a successful billionaire who employs thousands directly or indirectly, the quintessential capitalist icon is “evil”. Why? Because he’s a Jew of course. THOSE people are not to be trusted.

          Hahaha. Self-hating collaborator Ezra Levant hates Soros, because he thinks Soros is a self-hating collaborator.

          This guy projects more than an IMAX theater.

        • wavicles

          Ho Lee Shit

      • ltmcdies

        I actually avoid CBC comments now….I really don’t care what a teenager in Moldavia thinks about Canadian immigration law.

        Ezra Levant is our right wing idiot …..but because we actually do have some hate speech laws…does have to think about how he phrases things.

    • ltmcdies

      a significant number of them seem to have #MAGA somewhere on their FB/Tweeter accounts and seem to posting from “somewhere south”

      I remind them a) they have no vote b) may I introduce them to the surprisingly still annoyed United Empire Loyalists.

      then I ask them to say hi to Vlad for me

  • Jeff Mc Donald

    Wait a minute! Why isn’t Canada building a wall and making us pay for it?

  • Incoming Ham

    Do they give everyone a form only in English that asks if they are Nobel Laureates or Olympic Medalists?

    Because we’re gonna.

    • Three Finger Salute

      I hope not. It means Caitlyn Jenner might get to emigrate to Canada.

    • ahughes798

      When the shooting starts here in America, will Canadians accept decent Americans as refugees?

    • Boko999

      Immigrants get points for speaking English or French, needed skills and a fat bank account. We also deport people in the country illegally.
      What we don’t do is conflate refugees and immigrants nor depend on the labour provided by undocumented workers.
      We do have a guest worker program for exploiting poor foreigners. Sad.

      • sarafina

        You are saving lives. That’s not a bad thing.

        • Boko999

          Is best thing. Boko like.

  • Zyxomma

    I’m grateful to our neighbors in Grandmother’s Land. Au Canada!

  • Three Finger Salute

    I let Justin annex 52GB (about 10%) of my hard drive with happy sexytime videos (OK, I just downloaded his YouTube channel, some other news/interview videos, and a bunch of Internet pictures), and I’m proud of that fact. Sure beats the pee dossier or the stupid “Trump is totally awesomesauce” folder his Stockholm sycophants are circulating around the White House.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/7664f1e51b3fb4df2b1e27ba33ff873bc3174545716595deac84c2127a0a4a93.png

    Note the number of videos in the video folder. “Because it’s 2018…”

    (The desktop is different because it runs on a slide show. There are 32 wallpaper-sized images in total.)

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/306e7bd3b7dd8b3f6664d49d7a11e234a32f5350c0e2104d0584084e84d387fc.png

    Now, if only Canada could actually annex Trump’s nuclear-capable social media accounts (and those of his numerous lackeys, neckbeard Nazis, and Rusbots) to either shut them down or replace the swill-trough content feeds with nothing but unicorn hugs, Care Bears episodes, and/or the 52 gigs of various Justin-related media on my computer, the world would have peace.

  • mt2099

    Canada encounters these waves of refugees from the U.S. every time a Trudeau is in office. Last time, it was young men who didn’t want to go to Vietnam.

    • Three Finger Salute

      Assuming there’s a U.S. still in existence (or a planet), I wonder who’ll flee north if ever there comes a point in the future when Xavier, Ella or Hadrien are PM Trudeau III.

    • sarafina

      Obviously a trend.

  • Boko999

    Trudeau has fucked up purchasing new fighter aircraft, weed legalization, and right to die legislation but he isn’t a dick so that’ll do.

    • First time I’ve ever heard any reference to Trudeau as anything less than Jesus bearing chocolate. How did he f*** said things up? (Not starting anything; honestly asking)

      • Boko999

        He let politics drive his decision re our new fighter purchase, he’s giving little guidance with rationalizing our weed laws (although he may be just waiting for the provinces to deal with it as it is their job to deal with drugs and health. Cunning devil.)
        The right to die legislation stupidly only applies to people who are already on death’s door.
        Facing years of agony? Tough, gotta pander to the Christians.
        And I’ll vote for his party again. His daddy cured me of worshiping politicians and now I just go with the least dishonest and least dangerous.

  • Oblios_Cap

    “I don’t want to go back to Haiti,”

    I just wrote a research paper on Haiti. Everybody that can leave seems to feel the same way. I guess that’s what happens when your neighborhood bully won’t quit fucking with you.

  • sillyclucker

    What’s sad is I envy the refugees.

  • FelineMama

    Ya know, I think drumph is actually doing a “happy dance” regarding this. He’s saying, “see, I am making merikkka great again”!

  • 1: The Haitians are going to discover that Quebecoise is an even more mongrelized patois than their own Creole, and that it is spoken at 90 wpm and nasally–imagine ducks on amphetamines.
    2: 20 years from now, we’ll have one of those Disney live-action inspirational movies about a ragtag group of refugees (not that all refugees are ragtag, just that people in movies like this tend to be ragtag) who bond and learn to live again and work together via…
    Curling.

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