Wonkette mostly tries to stay out of intra-left squabbles. Our mama says we are not allowed to fight with other lefties, even though we are perfect and they are shitbags. She does not want to hear it when we whine that they are MEAN and they are SMEARING DEMOCRATS, and when Bernie Sanders says Democrats are the problem, our mama will blithely say things like “well maybe Democrats ARE the problem!” And when Jill Stein blames Democrats for Betsy DeVos, and we scream at Stein that EVERY DEMOCRAT VOTED AGAINST BETSY DEVOS WHAT IS EVEN YOUR DAMAGE, our mama gets mad at US. Our mama, who has wrangled county Democratic parties in two states. Our mama, who has put in the fuckin’ HOURS on the phone trees and the letter campaigns and the St. Patrick’s Day Commiethon and every Saturday for YEARS standing at the corner of Beard and Farrell in Shawnee, OK, holding up her Yellow Dog Democrat (or Bernie) sign. Our mama, the Union Maid.
So we mostly listen to her, because there is hell to pay when we don’t.
Therefore, we would like to state for the record that is both peachy and swell that some members of the Left are currently going after Kamala Harris, who along with Kirsten Gillibrand has been the most steadfast vote for #Resistance in the Senate, for being a centrist corporatist might-as-well-be-Republican, because she is definitely the same as Republicans, except for everything she has ever stood for and/or said with her mouth.
See, it is 2017, so now is the perfect time to libel anyone on the left who isn’t actively involved in Being Bernie Sanders, because it is important to start smearing progressive Democrats as corrupt early, so it can catch on. For bonus points, accuse her of not supporting things she supports.
It worked really well last time, and nothing bad can come of it.
That is not fair, you are saying, because you are fair. We are allowed to question and criticize our leaders. Of course we are! And we should definitely do so in the most vicious manner possible, imputing all sorts of greed and sleaze, notwithstanding pushback from women and people of color and most definitely women of color who feel like MAYBE they can see right the fuck through you. Why you gotta call us racist? you are asking now. I KNOW THIS ONE! Because nobody’s putting out memes about Corrupt Ol’ Joe Biden, who just like Kamala Harris is also talking to donors, and that dude, whom we love because NOBODY IS PERFECT ON EVERY ISSUE and he’s mostly a genuinely swell guy, used to be the Senator From MBNA.
I know we’re not all braiding each other’s hair by the campfire, and we definitely shouldn’t. First we should ax Nancy Pelosi, because we’ve all seen that being able to whip votes is totally unimportant in a leader, and she is not “new blood” and also she is to blame for losing the House when all the statehouses gerrymandered their shit to hell and back. Those who criticize her and/or want to replace her all run to her right — no really, look it up! Tim Ryan of Ohio, whose name always comes up as the anointed Pelosi replacement, is ranked as the 122th most progressive member of the House. Kathleen Rice of New York, who went after her during the most recent wave of Pelosi-bashing, is ranked 166th. Pelosi? Just sitting there being a corporate sell-out at #26. But since when do purity tests matter?
Next, we should tear down every potent politician we have who is resisting Trump out loud, because something about the DNC and coronations. That they would have to actually win the most votes from Democratic voters is irrelevant. After that, if Tulsi Gabbard, D-In The Ways That Matter i.e. Endorsed Bernie Sanders, is not our nominee, we should all scream a bunch about rigged votes and WikiLeaks and Seth Rich and not just take our shit and go home, but actively downplay (or even support!) the Trump nightmare because he is a populist LOL.
So great job everyone! Keep on keepin’ on! Double down on that hostage-taking. Don’t try to persuade anyone to your point of view: Just smear and libel, smear and libel, the people who agree with you on 95 percent of the things as Fake Leftists — have you read Melissa McEwan on DON’T YOU DARE FUCKING SAY I’M NOT A LEFTIST yet? Do that right now — while the people on the other side get a pass for being Actual Pinochet.
What do we have to lose?
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