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Morning Wonketariat! Here’s some of the things we may be talking about today.

Robert Mueller empaneled a grand jury two months ago, signaling that Trump-Russia is a thing that we’re going to be talking about for a long, long time. [Archive]

It’s entirely possible that as many as 10 or more senior law enforcement officials could be questioned in Trump-Russia as Bob Mueller’s team expands, dredging up the sludge at the bottom of Trump’s empire.

Two proposals to protect the Mueller investigation have been unveiled in the Senate in the event that Trump tries to go all Saturday Night Massacre on Mueller’s Justice League of Extraordinary Investigators.

Carter Page has apparently been under FISA warrant since 2014, and now White House staffers are walking on eggshells as Trump grumps around reminding everyone that he’s not under investigation.

Michael Flynn has amended his financial disclosures form (AGAIN) after he remembered a bunch of money he made from Cambridge Analytica, the Trump Presidential Transition, and another sketchy business with ties to the Turkish government.

Trump’s White House staff hate their new babysitter, John Kelly, who is eyeballing everyone and listening in on phone calls in an effort to keep Trump from creating (another) national security crisis.

The Senate was able to pass an FDA funding bill and a “Right to Try” drug bill that will allow user fees to pay for the review of medical devices and drugs (be they fancy, funky or bootlegs).

The Senate ALSO rammed through the nominations of 60 nominees for the Trump administration, allowing Mitch McConnell the opportunity to claim that he actually did something.

Trump’s new (old) immigration policy would have barred his own grandfather from entering as he was just another penniless Not American with empty pockets and caviar dreams.

The only thing Congressional Republicans can agree upon is that they need to agree on things, though Trey Gowdy apparently missed that memo, stating, “It’s not Congress’s job to see how many bills we can pass.” Actually…

A bunch of Republicans in the Senate, led by Texas Sen. John Cornyn, revealed their own Tortilla Curtain, and it’s a a lot like Bush 43’s “virtual wall,” though Cornyn won’t say if Mexico will pay for it.

The Senate confirmed Jessica Rosenworcel and Republican Brendan Carr as FCC commissioners, a Democrat and a Republican, respectively, and temporarily denied Ajit Pai another term of telecom and Internet fuckery. It’s not good news, but it’s certainly not bad news.

With Congress officially in recess, many Republicans are heading home to hide and lick their wounds as they stare longingly into the distance to contemplate all the winning they were promised.

Before leaving town, the Senate locked Trump out of the government by leaving the Senate in nine “pro-forma” sessions, a procedural roadblock that forces the Senate to convene every three days for about a minute. Sorry no recess appointment for you, replacement for everyone in the FBI and Justice that Trump wants to fire!

Trump kind of evicted the Secret Service from his glass castle after a spat about the lease, so now they’re squatting in a trailer out front.

Trump is taking a golf vacation (again) for the next 17 days while repair crews replace the White House’s 27-year-old HVAC system. Just think, Trump’s excessive use of hairspray has ruined the heating and air system in the White House after only 6 months.

Federal prosecutors are investigating Jared Kushner’s family business and they’re focusing on his sister, Nicole Meyer, after she gave a secret meeting to some Not American business people and seemed to offer (totally offered) EB-5 visas and political influence for investments into Kushner Companies.

During his West Virginia rally, Trump claimed that New Hampshire was a “drug-infested den” and that has the people of New Hampshire jonesing for an apology.

West Virginia’s governor, Jim Justice, switched his party affiliation to Republican, making it the umpteenth time Jim Justice has changed parties. Some people will do just about anything to say they have friends.

There’s ANOTHER video of Baltimore cops planting evidence, which is an awful reality check for people who’ve never lived in Baltimore.

Trump’s White House has delayed an investigation into Chinese bootlegging and corporate espionage, but they didn’t bother to say why.

Israeli police have acknowledged that BiBi Netanyahu is under investigation for “fraud, breach of trust and bribes” after his former chief of staff was flipped by investigators looking into ongoing rumors of gifts and strong-arming media coverage. WOAH, if true!

Russia has been using LinkedIn to target high-ranking critics and US military members who talk shit about Putin on social media through data mining, character assassinations, and assassination-assassinations.

The nerd who took down the WanaCry bug was arrested in Las Vegas while attending two of the largest international hacking conferences, for creating a malware that was harvesting banking credentials.

Internet trolls took over some white power websites and hate groups on reddit, with one user saying that s/he wanted to reactivate /r/Stormfront because, “I like the term ‘storm front’ better than ‘weather geeks.’ It’s more clever. Think ‘militant weather geeks.’”

Here’s some nice time about the beginning of the end of NASA’s Voyager mission. It’s super old, super far away, and in super deep space, but it’s still being monitored by a few hopeful olds.

And here’s your late night wrap-up! Stephen Colbert fought Stephen Miller on the Statue of Liberty; Seth Meyers took A Closer Look at Trump’s LOW RATINGS; and The Daily Show talked about shitty Baltimore cops

And here’s your morning Nice Time! Hanuman Langur Babies!

Freedom isn’t free, but ‘Yr Wonkette is! Throw us some Ameros so things stay that way!

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  • dslindc
    • His suits are ill fitting, and his hair is unkempt!

      • Pax Americana Per Ars Smith

        And he’s a total dick!

      • TheGrandWazoo2

        His mother was a hamster…

        • From Russia with Love

          Something, something, elderberries…

      • Weird Fishes

        and yet he’s a billionaire. I mean, okay. It’s just $1.5 billion, but I mean, you know. I could probably live with the burden of being a billionaire based on some accounting shenanigans.

      • Cogswell – In a Mirror, Darkly

        They are most likely from the trump line of men’s clothing. After all, look how poorly the suits of that fat slob of a fake president’s fit. They look like they were made by Ommar the Tent Maker.

    • Gee, Your Hair Smells Horrific

      . . . through a sketchy Russian business deal.

      • Elvis Causticfellow

        I think the common everyday Americans who support Trump already feel too damn proud of what they are.

    • Cogswell – In a Mirror, Darkly
  • Nounverb911
    • From Russia with Love

      He’d look 46 if he hadn’t taken that one fucking job…

  • Nounverb911
  • Nounverb911

    Donnies new official portrait released:

    https://twitter.com/WallaceRitchie/status/893462347506790401

  • IAMBOWLINGGREEN

    Poor Demented Donald waking up and seeing ‘Happy Birthday, Mr President’ trending on Twitter, and it’s not him. No two scoops. No birthday. Sad.

    https://twitter.com/vikingmother123/status/893445661282234370

    • BigCSouthside

      Dear Mr Mueller,

      For President Obama’s birthday, if you want to fire up that subpoena machine gun you just got and start sprayin, we wouldn’t be mad

      Regards,
      America

  • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

    Fake jobs report is out. 209K jobs added; unemployment down to 4.3%. But in the all important coal sector, employment is down by 200 jobs. That’s good news for the either the environment or the coal mining robot sector, but not good news for the “Trump Digs Coal” sign-makers.

    Another important measure is participation. During the campaign, Little Babby Donnie said the real unemployment number was 30-50% because he was looking non-participant rate. It’s virtually unchanged at 62.9% (37.1% non-participation). That means almost 95 million people are not working. Some who spend their days writing comments on wonket. Lazy bums.

    https://www.bls.gov/news.release/pdf/empsit.pdf

    • Opiwan

      Anyone know how much of that 37.1% is oldz who are retired?

  • TheGrandWazoo2

    Most important story of the day: Spicer turns state’s witness down Dancing With the Stars.

  • Sedagive ’em Hell

    Excellent diary on Daily Kos featuring Seth Abramson twitter-splaining exactly what’s going down with the multiple grand juries.

    Upshot: they were empaneled a while ago, they’ve been very busy, they’re doing slow, meticulous work, there is more than enough evidence to translate “political missteps” into “actual felonies” and things are going to “explode.”

    MAGA!

    https://www.dailykos.com/stories/2017/8/3/1686798/-Abramson-Trump-Russia-events-now-set-to-explode

  • arglebargle

    I fergotted how much I despise Trey Gowdy, what with all the Lord Dampnut shenanigans going on. Fuck him sideways. With Chaffetz’s peen.

    • OutOfOrbit

      what’s the point of these investigations now? distraction?

      • amrak63

        I would guess that to be correct.

    • Darlene Underdahl

      He’s punchable. I’d probably break my wrist…

  • BABBY MONKEES FOR PRESIDENTIN’!

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Here they come…
      Walkin’ down the street….

  • Monsieur_Grumpe

    Dear Mr. Mueller,
    While you’re looking into tRump’s Russian discrepancies may I suggest you check into his financial transactions? I’d go back to when he turned 18…. Just to be thorough.
    MG

  • BadKitty904

    I had no idea New Hampshire was that exciting.

    • Left Coast Tom

      It’s easy to miss the state and its excitement if you blink.

  • Spurning Beer

    Trump’s granddaddy is the one who opened a whorehouse in Canada, isn’t he?

    Let’s assume he called it the Russian Pee Room.

    • BadKitty904

      Yes, it was. Friedrich Trumpf, I believe.

      Aside from being a pimp, Friedrich, too, was a draft-dodger, so it runs in the family – “When authorities found that he had emigrated when young to avoid
      fulfilling his military service, he lost his Bavarian citizenship; he
      and his family returned to the United States.

    • SadDemInTex

      Nicely done! Wouldn’t it be hilarious if that’s where (the Russian Tea Room) 45 did nefarious deals with the Russians?

  • BadKitty904

    Isn’t it about time certain Executive Branch and Congressional passport were seized to keep their owners from fleeing the country?

    • From Russia with Love

      Ha ha ha,you think they only have one passport each?

      • Msgr_MΩment

        Ladies and germs, John Barron has left the building.

  • Nounverb911
    • Phoenixdoglover

      Dispatches from the bubble.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      Because God knows, a tweet from certified lunatic James Woods is always worthy of repeating.

  • Vagenda and Pee-ara

    “President Trump is finally showing off the negotiating skills we’ve heard so much about. But rather than making Congress agree on health care or getting China to help rein in North Korea, Trump appears to be driving a hard bargain with the people protecting his life.

    The Secret Service has been stationed in Trump Tower since the campaign, and for much of that time it occupied space one floor below President Trump’s residence. But according to the Washington Post, about a month ago the Secret Service moved its command center to a trailer on the street 50 floors below. Sources said the General Services Administration was trying to formalize its lease of the space, but negotiations with the Trump Organization fell apart over the price and other conditions.

    “After much consideration, it was mutually determined that it would be more cost effective and logistically practical for the Secret Service to lease space elsewhere,” said Trump Organization spokeswoman Amanda Miller.”

    Smrt idea to piss off the people protecting your life.

    http://nymag.com/daily/intelligencer/2017/08/secret-service-exits-trump-tower-over-lease-dispute-report.html

    • bupkus231

      Hell – at Trump Tower, they’re not protecting his life – they’re protecting his condo ( since Melanoma and Barron moved to DC ). They want more rent for protecting an empty suite.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Lease space elsewhere?

      New Jersey. Does New Jersey work for you?

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        London would be better.

    • Spurning Beer

      It might actually be practical to build a wall around Trump Tower. And we can make Trump pay for it!

  • Mr. Blobfish

    That guy.

  • Crystalclear12

    This administration is like a spin class that never ends!!

    • therblig

      SoullessCycle

      • From Russia with Love

        Mounting biking.

  • CaliCheeseSucks

    Special counsel Robert S. Mueller III began using a grand jury in federal court in Washington several weeks ago

    I don’t see where several weeks = two months. No need to encourage the Scooby Gangers.

  • Joe Beese

    I don’t care what piece of shit is temporarily occupying it. The White House needs up-to-date air conditioning.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Get some disgruntled Carrier workers to install it. Or maybe the Russian Embassy can recommend someone.

    • Spurning Beer

      It’s the best place to locate listening devices.

  • Gayer Than Thou

    I just feel like Twitler is thisclose to saying something about his “base” that will convince them how much disdain he truly has for them, and with a tiny bit effort he could get there and it would simplify a lot of things, I think. I know “effort” isn’t usually his thing, but he has shown a natural talent for offending all kinds of people.

    • Martini Ambassador 🍸

      Apparently, a few folks at Newswrek also noticed how lazy, weak and low-energy yer boy is…
      https://twitter.com/Smith83K/status/893282704166453248

      • Martini Ambassador 🍸

        BTW, “Newswrek” is a typo, but that’s a keeper.

      • bupkus231

        Does Newsweek even have a “cover” anymore? I thought it went to Internet-only piblication a few years ago….

        • Martini Ambassador 🍸

          ¯_(ツ)_/¯
          Honestly, I haven’t purchased a magazine in years, except for sexy escapist vacation wishlist porn (i.e. travel mags).

      • Ducksworthy
        • Ghenghis McCann

          That picture is in the article mentioned at the top of the page: “Will Solar Eclipse Be Unnatural Disaster”. It shows what is going to block out the Sun.

    • From Russia with Love

      He’s already declared his undying love for the uneducated. What more do they need?

      • Ducksworthy

        They are also, by and large, the Great Unwashed. He probably loves them for that too.

    • BigCSouthside

      Nah. As long as he does a weekly “fuck the browns/gays” schtick those yokels with let him bulldoze their houses to build golf courses

    • wide_stance_hubby

      He could hang them from trees on the WH lawn and lose only those actually swinging.

  • Joe Beese
    • bupkus231

      You can be sure the real Rump won’t even just acknowledge Obama’s birthday, let alone give well-wishes.

    • Spurning Beer

      This is a fake tweet. It says nothing about the massive Trump electoral victory.

    • BadKitty904

      Cue Bamz’ personal soundtrack:

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XCW1i5HQ0o0

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      That had me fooled for a moment, until I realized it was far too articulate for the real Donald Trump.

    • Painter of Goats

      “niceDonaldTrump” is the oxy-est of morons.

      • Darlene Underdahl

        I still like it. Gorgeous picture of Obama.

        • Painter of Goats

          Agreed.

    • Ghenghis McCann

      Is that the Trump from the Star Trek Mirror Universe? That would explain why he’s nice.

      • Michael Smith

        needs a goatee

  • Empress of the Iguana People

    For that matter, would Ivana or Melania have gotten in?

  • Joe Beese

    Probably posted already, but why not.

    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DGWnNhLUIAEsqVN.jpg

  • Nounverb911

    Trump leaving for russia to campaign for putin in 3….2…1…
    https://twitter.com/JuliaDavisNews/status/893458595517542400

    • BadKitty904

      But Donnie is already busy doing that here in the U.S.!

    • Gayer Than Thou

      But we’re not having a presidential election in 2018 – I’m confused!

  • Phoenixdoglover

    Biden: Did you hear about the White House AC?
    Obama: What about it?
    Biden: Totally replacing it. Something about a dead animal smell.
    Obama: Joe…
    Biden: Can you imagine that?
    Obama: Joe, please.

  • cheetojeebus

    Baybee lemur has surprisingly big hands. The biggest, Everyone says so.

    • cmd resistor

      I was thinking the butt-scratching lemur should attend a Trump rally and do that.

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    The transcript of the intercepted call between Russian spies talking about how they can get Carter Page to do anything they want but that he is too much of an idiot to be of any use to them is real comedy gold.

    • BadKitty904

      If nothing else, the current Republican Party has certainly exposed America’s genuine and dangerous weaknesses to the entire world and our enemies in particular…

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        Carter Page is a one-man genuine and dangerous weakness.

  • Snarkbot 9000

    Oye – every day just gets better doesn’t it?

    Well folks, I’m here to say goodbye to everybody…this site has been great help over the last couple of years, regardless of what user name I have used. I have always enjoyed the wit and humor here and being amongst good natured folks with substance between their ears. I wouldn’t have made it this far if not for the ability to distract from my profound personal problems, and Wonkette has always been there to help.

    So here’s the deal: I’m a homeless 34 year old guy who is typing this to you from a tired broken laptop on cable co public wifi that I access through an account that’s not my own. I lost my job yesterday after what was basically a nervous breakdown in the office leaving me still homeless, and now completely unable to support myself. Years of extreme social isolation have left me without a support network, or any resource to turn to for money to be able to maintain even this pathetic worthless existence. I cannot support myself and given the paralyzing depression, anxiety, and hopelessness I have faced for years now, I have no will to go on fighting a lost cause. Today, I will end my life by ligature asphyxiation that I have been planning for months but have not had the courage to complete – fear I don’t feel anymore.

    Sorry to be a bummer – I’m not going to leave any letters or other silly crap when I do this since no one gives two shits about me as a person – this is something of an attempt to tell the only people I actually trust in this world what’s happening so as not to leave this earth completely unannounced. I wish you all the best, and I hope that in time you can all find happiness in a Trump-free country. Though I won’t be there to experience that beautiful day, it’s my own fault and no one elses.

    Keep it real folks.

    • WWOAH there buddy. Don’t do that! We still like you! There’s people that can help you!
      Call 1-800-273-8255
      http://chat.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/GetHelp/LifelineChat.aspx

      • Red Bird

        Did you hear from him? This is sad.

      • amrak63

        What DG said. Call the number.

        “Suicide is a permanent solution to temporary problems.”

    • Empress of the Iguana People

      Don’t do that! Be around to see Trumpster’s fall!
      Seriously, there is help, and it may suck, but there can be life after homelessness, even with depression. I’ve a friend who was homeless for a while, and suffering depression, and with 3 kids. They’re on their feet now.

    • Empress of the Iguana People

      I’m suicidal without my medicine. PMDD and PPD. so I’m not just talking out of the side of my mouth.

    • Lance Thrustwell

      Hey man, I’m not gonna pretend I know what you’ve been through, or offer some generic, useless platitudes about the sanctity of life. But I WILL say that it’s possible there’s some angle you haven’t thought of – some strategy that could make things better for you. I don’t think it could hurt to call that number Dominic provided, or something similar in your area. You never know. Know what I mean?

    • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

      You said it yourself: “Wonkette has always been there to help.” Still is. And will be.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      Don’t do this. I don’t have two nickels to rub together, but I’ll send you something to help get you through. I mean that.

    • therblig

      Stick around. The fact that you’re braving the wonketariat shows you’re not totally isolated. Call the number Dominic posted. Help is out there. And yes, seeing trumpy take the fall will be well worth it.

      Besides, there’s no way we can afford a Snarkbot 10000

    • bewareofme

      please don’t. Your life and your voice have value. You are needed.

    • doktorzoom

      Stay with us, please! I’ve sent you an email at the address on your Disqus account. We need you here.

      — Dok

    • lindser

      no no no. You are still needed. You are important! We are all here for you.

    • Jamalama

      Please, please don’t. If this is a community to you and truly a last bastion for you, then listen to some of them and don’t. Whatever your situation is sounds extremely difficult and this current political climate may be pushing you towards darker thoughts. Just reach out a little and someone can help you. Where are you at? In a city?

    • chortlingdingo

      I’m so sorry for what you’re going through. Please don’t do anything drastic. I’d be happy to wire you some cash to help get you back on your feet.

    • Kateaux

      Please don’t! The Wonketariat needs you.

    • Red Bird

      NO! If you’re still there, don’t give up.

    • Cogswell – In a Mirror, Darkly

      Please don’t do that. I’ve suffered from depression for more than twenty years. It has been difficult at times but I’ve always managed to pull through even at my lowest. Please oh, please go to social services. They can help you get what you need to combat depression.

      I know I’ve been there. No problems are worth taking your own life and we need you now more than ever to fight the menace that faces this country.

      There is always a way. I had to swallow my pride when I needed help and I’m glad I was able to find it in myself to do so when I was living with what I thought was hopelessness and had reached what I thought was as low as things could go.

      Please don’t just give up.

    • Persistent Demme

      No.
      Don’t.
      Get help.
      Continue to be a Wonker!
      Please!

    • SeeTrain65

      We care. Honestly. Anxiety comes and goes. Depression comes and goes. I know. There are people who care. Please, don’t leave us.

  • elviouslyqueer

    What’s the over/under on every single one of those folks in the WV rally pic being related to each other?

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      Getting tired of being mistaken for a bluegrass band and getting incessant requests to play “Rocky Top”, we made up the most disgusting lyrics imaginable to the song; “folks all fuck their kin on Rocky Top…”. It got us thrown out of a venue, but it cured the problem. But I digress. High probability.

      • From Russia with Love

        “Good ole Sis-ontop, Sis-ontop Tennessee.”

      • Persistent Tennessee Rain

        The real lyrics aren’t much better. Sure the tune is catchy, but isn’t the song about killing feds looking to bust moonshiners?

  • Reximus
    • BadKitty904

      “Thank you, Ken, for sharing your unsolicited and pointless opnion…”

      • From Russia with Love

        And please avail yourself of this invitation to fuck yourself silly.

    • Martini Ambassador 🍸

      Guffaw! Hypocrite sez wot?

    • Spurning Beer

      Yeah, well, we don’t want college presidents overlooking sexual assaults by varsity athletes, either, but what are you gonna do?

    • cmd resistor

      Darn, missed that! We flipped past CNN just as he was wrapping up with the “thanks for having me” pleasantries.

  • Gayer Than Thou

    Apparently, the U.S. Senate is smart enough to know not to leave town without locking up the liquor cabinet, changing the wifi password, and setting up nanny cams all over.

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      It unnerves me a bit that Mattis and Kelly agreed to never be out of the country at the same time, because they don’t want to leave preznit PoopsInPants alone with no adult supervision.

      • Gayer Than Thou

        Yeah. On the one hand, I am still holding on to faith that there have to be people in government who see what an incompetent buffoon Twitler and his people are. But on the other hand, it’s not a huge comfort that they are old white military guys.

        • Vagenda and Pee-ara

          The whole thing is pretty scary.

  • MrTusks

    I hear the HVAC crew of Myklenkovych & Sons does really good work.

  • Gayer Than Thou

    If Russia tries to take me down via LinkedIn, the joke’s on them! I can’t remember my LinkedIn password!

    • Lance Thrustwell

      Oh, they’re after ya, GT. Watch yer back.

    • Me not sure

      I just use “password” for everything and I’ve never had any troub…… (blip).

    • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

      Everybody knows it’s “asparagus23”.

      • Gayer Than Thou

        “collegewrestler10”

        • Cogswell – In a Mirror, Darkly

          No one will ever guess mine: ihatethatmotherfuckingpieceof wastedskinfakepresidenthisroyalanus.

          • bupkus231

            Shit! Now I have to change mine!

          • Cogswell – In a Mirror, Darkly

            Just add an exclamation mark… problem solved.

          • Me not sure

            Coincidently, that’s the same as mine with a 1 at the end.

          • From Russia with Love

            I kinda like It’s O K If You Are A Republican.

          • Gayer Than Thou

            Must include a special character and capital letters:

            iHATEthatmotherfuckingpiece ofwastedskinfakepresidenthisroyalanus!

            #FIFY

          • therblig

            Your password must contain at least one lie society told you and one dream you gave up for the financial means to survive.

          • Ill-Advised

            No, you’re thinking of the “Four truths and a Lie” script for new managers.

          • Ill-Advised

            Sadly, each one of your accounts has different password strength requirements. You have violated length requirement on four. Three of them have been automatically truncated and the last one hung the application tier. Lacking numbers caused login fails in a fifth for insufficient strength, and Cortana, Siri, and Alexa have all changed passwords due to the amount of like-minded audio-enabled input going on in the immediate vicinity.

            Please try again.

          • Gayer Than Thou

            This is exactly why I hate passwords. Everyone has helpful hints for how you’ll never forget your password on any website, and then ever website has conflicting requirements. Ugh!

          • Celtic_Gnome

            Damn! The same as my luggage.

        • Me not sure

          Go to your room! …No, wait.

        • Ducksworthy

          Denny Hastert is gonna be mad.

    • Cogswell – In a Mirror, Darkly

      I deleted my Linked-In account. I also deleted my facebook account after 3 weeks.

      There is way too many drama queens living their lives vicariously through social media for my tastes.

      • therblig

        But now you’ll never get to take the quiz and find out “Which drama queen living their life vicariously through social media are you?”

        • Ill-Advised

          I failed the quiz. Also, I think I was at New Hire Orientation with you.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      T0pl3$$_Pu7!n

  • Me not sure

    “A few hundred thousand here, a few hundred thousand there, pretty soon your talking about real money. It’s just lucky I checked under the sofa cushions.”
    Michael Flynn
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/348f6032ef27bbbe83d9eef05071ea7acd7fcd031de95893ae5f065097bda11f.jpg .

  • Belasaurius

    Right wing talking point: The Clinton’s charge the Secret Service 10K a month

  • BadKitty904

    <– Strangely sad about the Voyager-mission thing… :0/

    • Belasaurius
      • BadKitty904

        Maybe that’s why. Here on the “Space Coast,” Voyager is almost legendary.

    • The Wanderer

      Everything about it exceeded expectations. And one of them looked back to show us that our world is almost less than nothing, lost in immensity.

      • BadKitty904

        A shining example of what America was once capable of…

        • The Wanderer

          And still can be, in my opinion.

          • BadKitty904

            Amen, amen, amen. Once we take our nation back from its enemies.

          • From Russia with Love

            Lack of any sense of shared sacrifice and effort is not helping.

        • amrak63

          We definitely need to get our space program going again so we don’t need to rely on Mommie Dearest Russia for anything.

      • Me not sure

        We need to “Make Earth Great Again”.

        • Kateaux

          Suddenly I am reminded of the Futurama episode in which Nixon’s head in a jar, riding around on a sort of giant war-robot body, wins election as President of Earth.

    • Me not sure
    • From Russia with Love

      That is a beautifully written piece that no Trump supporter would even attempt to comprehend.
      (Really, read it!)

      • BadKitty904
        • therblig

          In his garage is a 1954 Swallow Doretti, a fixer-upper. ‘‘It probably needs new brakes,’’ he said. I asked him if there was anywhere he liked to drive for fun. ‘‘No,’’ he replied. ‘‘Not anymore.’’

          that hit me pretty hard. not sure why.

          • ExecutorElassus

            That whole article is painfully nostalgic (in the original meaning of the word: “the pain from an old wound”). It makes our present (meager) efforts for space, helpful they may be (we should be normalizing space and preparing it for living, and that includes commerce) seem cheap and lacking in vision.
            I can’t imagine what it must be like for them, the caretakers of our farthest-traveling spacecraft, to be shepherding one of humanity’s shining moments slowly out into oblivion.
            I am sure the Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows would have a word for it.

        • Dutchman
  • Nounverb911
  • Reximus

    Mueller Criminal Investigation includes contacts made to FoxNews by RIS Agents.
    7:25 PM – 3 Aug 2017

    https://twitter.com/pacelattin/status/893296844880490496

    • wide_stance_hubby

      I just came in my pants a little.

      • From Russia with Love

        Only Donald Trump can cum a little.

      • amrak63

        TMI.

        But thanx. I never get tired of posting this.

        http://i.imgur.com/SSa9QpW.jpg

        • amrak63

          I just wish the picture had higher resolution.

      • Richard Girlswin

        Uh… Well…

        What are you doing in here with pants on?

        • wide_stance_hubby

          I never said I was wearing them. . .

    • Edith Prickly

      Well schaden my freude! How delightful.

    • Bub, the cynical zombie

      Is Lumpy going to prison? Hey, a zombie can dream, right?

      • From Russia with Love

        You probably dream a lot with all those brains inside you.

    • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist
  • Nounverb911
  • Gayer Than Thou

    When did the patriots at WikiLeaks release Podesta’s risotto recipe? Late summer, right? I would kind of love it if Mueller issues a bunch of subpoenas or even indictments on the anniversary date.

    • Ducksworthy

      Sorry but I’m hoping for late Summer or next year.

      • From Russia with Love

        Good point. They could jail the whole lot of this administration and the average voter would believe they were Democrats in about six months.

  • PubOption

    Does Donnie think he’s John Denver?
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1vrEljMfXYo

    • From Russia with Love

      Mediocre singer. Somewhat worse of a pilot.

  • Ducksworthy

    Trey Gowdy’s mom had the Zika Virus. I’m sorry but its pretty obvious.

    • From Russia with Love

      Or the OR people used a little too much force on the forceps.

      • therblig

        fireplace tongs

        • Ducksworthy

          Toilet plunger?

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            Shop vac?

      • Richard Girlswin

        There’s a special cap for shaping an infant’s head back to normal after overzealous use of forceps.

        For some reason they didn’t use it when I was born. I look fine as long as I don’t shave my head.

    • Bub, the cynical zombie
      • Msgr_MΩment

        Not one of us,
        Not one of us,
        YOU’RE one of them.

  • Jgb979

    Holy shit he’s going on vacation for 17 days!

    http://www.gifimagesdownload.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/02/gif-party-457.gif

    The 9 day trip where he was out of the country was the most enjoyable week of his presidency.

  • Michael R
  • Cogswell – In a Mirror, Darkly

    Posted without comment.

    Wait a second… if I say, “posted without comment”, did I or did I not make a comment?
    Road Sign in Solano County Hacked to Say ‘Trump Has Herpes’ https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/3f855b136d1bbe16641c6aa37823df65d281bd16b0413c100e52ffdbf037e5a9.jpg

    • Bub, the cynical zombie

      Not bad…but it’s syphilis. He has tertiary syphilis. Tiny, vicious spirochetes…busily munching myriad minute holes in his brain.

      • Cogswell – In a Mirror, Darkly

        I don’t think that would have fit on the sign so they had to compromise.

        • Bub, the cynical zombie

          Normally, I am an implacable foe of any compromise when it comes to Donnie…but I’ll give ’em that one.

        • ExecutorElassus

          “Syphi” is the colloquial short form of the disease’s name. Would work just as well. “Tert.Syph” probably would as well.

      • Ghenghis McCann

        Those poor starving spirochetes, trying to find a brain to munch.

        • Bub, the cynical zombie

          Spare a though for all the hungry New York zombies out there, trying to find something to spread on their buttered rolls…

        • Ducksworthy

          Yes. His cranium at this point is a filled with a whirling mass of microscopic worms.

      • Cogswell – In a Mirror, Darkly

        I can say without a doubt that he appeared to have snyphilis during the debates.

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      That is a thing of beauty.

  • Randy Riddle

    Trump is taking a golf vacation (again) for the next 17 days while repair crews replace the White House’s 27-year-old HVAC system.”

    Is “replace the White House’s 27-year-old HVAC system” a euphemism for “sweep the place for bugs”?

    • Bub, the cynical zombie

      Or install them. He’s stupid enough to go full Tricky Dick on us.

      • Rick Hill

        Proly both. Certainly have to look for more after trump had the Russians in his office

    • elviouslyqueer

      Somebody should tell the White House communication clown car that there is NO SUCH THING as a “working vacation.”

      • Cogswell – In a Mirror, Darkly

        There is know such thing as a working president at this particular point in time.

        • Msgr_MΩment

          “Hey, man! You broke the President!”

          • Khavrinen

            S’okay, he’ll just declare bankruptcy, like all the other times he was broke.

  • Red Bird

    Dominic, one of these days you will give me my sloth video.

  • Reximus
    • Ducksworthy

      No collusion! You’re the puppet!

    • WotsAllThisThen

      Completely exonerated!

  • Phoenixdoglover
  • nightmoth

    I’m wondering/hoping that the governor switched parties BECAUSE he foresees that Trump is so embarrassing that moderate Republicans will once more be embraced by the voters. Maybe? It could happen?

    • Carpe Vagenda

      I think maybe more because he has major tax problems and he needs a friend in the WH.

      • nightmoth

        Oh. Darn. Say-la-vee, as they say in West Virginia.

  • Carpe Vagenda

    Remember when Trump lobbied to keep disabled veterans off Fifth Avenue because they were dragging down property values?

    I’m sure the already waning prices on Trump properties are going to skyrocket now that there’s a doublewide of guys from Utah in Florsheims out front.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      You have a gift for description.

      • Carpe Vagenda

        d’aw.

  • ltmcdies

    morning wonkette….happy first day of vacation for America’s presidential primitive primate.

    here’s some pics of the last president on his birthday

    https://twitter.com/GlblCtzn/status/893472094679334912

    • TakingAmes

      I’m not crying at my desk. YOU’RE crying at your desk. The one that always gets me is the one where he bends over to let the little boy touch his hair, to see if it’s like his own.

      • ltmcdies

        I love that shot….Sousa is an excellent photographer for catching “moments”….love his work

  • RMKH

    Hey – are we still on for the drinky thing at Washington Park, or was that just a cruel joke aimed at us Anacourtesans, or did I hallucinate the whole thing?

    I wondered when those flashbacks we’re going to start…

  • WotsAllThisThen

    Jared keeps turning the thermostat down, and Ivanka keeps turning it up. They can’t agree on anything and no wonder it broke.

  • Zyxomma

    Thanks for the link to the NY Times article about Veeger. Beautiful and sad.

  • BearGHAZI

    I bet there are some really conflicted Secret Service people these days

    • Hardly Ideal

      In Transmetropolitan, it’d gotten so bad that the Secret Service was charging the president protection. A guy can dream, anyway.

  • House0fTheBlueLights

    …while repair crews replace the White House’s 27-year-old HVAC system clean out all the Russian listening devices.

    ftfy

    • BadKitty904

      At least, the ones they can find.

    • Khavrinen

      Take a lot more than 17 days for that.

  • Lisa

    All these people revising their financial reporting –
    I hope the IRS is taking notes and auditing their returns. Golly gee, if they forgot to record it on a form for the government job, I’ll bet they forgot it when they filed their taxes, too. Because honestly, if I am required to report my income for something (a loan, for example), I use my tax return as the basis for it.

  • HogeyeGrex
  • Israeli police have acknowledged that BiBi Netanyahu is under investigation for “fraud, breach of trust and bribes” after his former chief of staff was flipped by investigators looking into ongoing rumors of gifts and strong-arming media coverage

    Imagine that! A corrupt as fuck right winger!
    Never saw that coming.

  • Serai 1

    May I point out that Voyager’s mission will, in fact, never end? Part of its raison d’etre is to be an ambassador away from Earth, and that will be ongoing for at least a few million years.

  • The Flaming Carrot

    It would have been just like Trump to tell West Virginians that New Hampshire was a drug infested den. However, he said that to the president of Mexico. Which might have been during his West Virginia rally, AFAIK.

  • Lyly Sirivong

    That hanuman langur has bigger hands than Trump.

  • Gregory Purcell

    Mr. Mueller has not impaneled a special grand jury, the lawyers involved in the case said, and has decided instead to use one of several grand juries that regularly sit in Washington.

    https://www.google.com/amp/s/mobile.nytimes.com/2017/08/03/us/politics/robert-mueller-russia-investigation-grand-jury.amp.html

  • Jeff Mc Donald

    It’s already been noted, but I believe it bears repeating. that Mr. Mueller’s tenure will last until the first Trump is subpoenaed. This will show that we have, at minimum, an idiot in the White House, and possibly a criminal or two as well. If the Republicans say “no mas” at that point, we will have to get used to saying President Pence. This will not be an improvement. In my opinion. But…whatcha gonna do?

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