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OH, FUCK YOU, BEN SASSE! Are you really what passes for intellectualism in today’s GOP? The same horseshit about kids these days being lazy and having everything handed to them? Give me a break, asshole! Grassley, Hatch, and Inhofe have been singing that stupid Bootstraps ‘n’ Personal Responsibility song for decades. But those guys are in their 80s! What’s your excuse?

Yeah, Ben Sasse wants to cut minimum wage so black kids can work for almost nothing. He seems nice.

Ben, you and I have a lot in common. We’re the same age, we both have stable marriages and young kids. And we were both born into incredible, ridiculous privilege: we had good health, we were smart, and most of all we had access to the education and connections that being white and upper middle class entails. The difference is, one of us admits it. And the other one pretends to have earned his success doing farm labor at dawn in a field in Nebraska. Ben Sasse got a rash from corn, which gave him character, and now he’s a Senator. See kids, if only you spent a month every summer doing something shitty and unpleasant, you wouldn’t need a government handout. Maybe if we decimated the social safety net, everyone would go pick corn and become a Senator! We could make America great again. HOORAY!

This week’s sermon is brought to you by The New York Times which has blessed America with this fine editorial from Nebraska’s junior senator.

Sasse is hawking his new book The Vanishing American Adult on how the country is going to hell because kids are worthless and don’t understand the value of hard work. OH, THANK GOD we have a rich, white guy from a rural state to mansplain how we’re all doing a shitty job raising our kids in Not Real America. Please, tell us more!

The job stank. It’s wet and chilly in the field that early. Giant sprinklers called center pivots often got stuck and flooded acres with ankle-deep cold water. We’d start out wearing sweatshirts underneath trash bag ponchos, but by 10, as temperatures approached triple digits, we’d shed layers. For the rest of the day, our bare skin would brush against sharp corn leaves until it was marked with innumerable paper cuts.

We would get home covered in nasty rashes, caked in mud and bone-tired. I’d go to bed in the late afternoon and sleep straight through till the alarm sounded again, for weeks on end.

That was our summer vacation. What do our kids do today?

Yeah, what are those lazy kids doing? If only they had the fortitude to do something unpleasant. Like haul a case of water and a cooler of ice to a park and try to sell them to tourists.

Or dart into traffic with a squeegee and a bottle of generic Windex like kids here in Baltimore hoping to make a dollar cleaning windows during a red light.

Photo Credit Matthew Reamer, yousayyes,wordpress.com

Something tells me these aren’t the kids Sasse is thinking about, though.

Last year, we sent our eldest child, Corrie, then 14, to spend a month working on a cattle ranch. When we dropped her off, she was nervous but eager. Between checking cows for pregnancies — a job that involves a shoulder-length glove — and bottle-feeding orphaned heifers, she loved it and hated it. But she knew that her mild suffering was also a formative experience for a lifetime.

So you paid for your kid to spend a month doing farm labor. How nice.

As a fellow resident of Upper Middle Class America, I also spend thousands of dollars a year on extracurriculars that build skills and character for my kids. Yes, I do think my children developed grit by forcing themselves to show up to to practice when they didn’t feel like it, stay on the field when they were sore and tired, and organize their time to accommodate sports and school. I am very proud of them. But I’m not shitting all over other parents who don’t have the time and money to drive their kids to tournaments all over the Eastern seaboard every weekend. Because I try really hard not to be an overprivileged asshole!

You’re telling parents working two jobs that their kids have bad character because they’re not out there in the front yard with their kids squeezing lemons for no money?

The effort involved and the struggles, once overcome, become the scar tissue of future character.

Look around your neighborhood and see what ways your kids could serve their community. Even in this digital age, lawns need to be mowed and lemonade stands can break even.

THA FUCK YOU SAY, RIP VAN WINKLE? How many lawns need mowing in the 80% of America that lives in an urban area? What year do you think this is?

Ben Sasse, who got his B.A. at Harvard. Ben Sasse, who got a Masters Degree from Saint John’s College, the ivoriest of ivory tower liberal arts schools. Ben Sasse, who got his PhD from Yale. Ben Sasse, who was made president of Midland college just five years after completing his own education, which is thing that happens when your family has connections all over a sparsely-populated, rural state. Ben Fucking Sasse is going to tell America how to raise our kids?

Adolescence is a great thing, but we’ve made it too long. It’s supposed to be a protected space in which kids who’ve become biologically adult are not obligated to immediately become emotionally, morally and financially adult. Done right, adolescence is a greenhouse phase, but adolescence should not be an escape from adulthood; it should be when we learn how to become adults.

It would be offensive if you were just bloviating to sell books. The problem, Ben, is that you legislate like you’re America’s Tough Daddy, cutting our allowance to teach us a lesson. You ran for Senate expressly so you could destroy Obamacare. And you’ve been working your ass off to get it done!

You’re the only Senator who voted against federal funding to combat the opioid crisis last year, because you were, “not convinced fighting addiction — as opposed to stopping drug traffickers — is best addressed at the federal level.” Why buy Naloxene, right? Just throw those addicts out into a corn field and they’ll perk right up!

The problem, Ben, is that you want to pretend that people who don’t work are just lazy. That there are plenty of jobs out there, it’s just gumption that’s in short supply. If Americans spent their youth with manure under their fingernails, they’d have the strength of character to succeed in a modern economy. AND THAT IS BULLSHIT!

In 1930, an American farmer could feed 4 people. In 2010, he fed 155, because now machines do the work. Between 1980 and 2015, coal production rose 8% while the number of coal miners dropped by 59%. Machines do it faster, cheaper, and safer. Which is why your daughter had to intern on a farm, instead of pulling tassels off corn the way you did as a child.

We are NEVER going back to full employment, as you know damn well, Ben. It is gross intellectual whoring to use your gifts to cut social services from the people who are getting left behind as we transition away from manual labor. And it’s shockingly immoral for you to pretend that people born without our advantages are to blame for getting discarded by the modern, mechanized economy.

Your kids will be fine, Ben. My kids will be fine. But your intellectual wanking will kill people. So let’s cut the shit about you being a principled voice for the Republican party. It’s the same vulture capitalist, eat the poor, bootstraps, personal responsibility, racist crap you guys have been shilling for sixty years.

JUST OWN IT, DUDE.

[NYTimes / Newsweek]

Your Wonkette does not exist in some fake ivory tower intellectual fantasyland where hard work wins the day! We need you to help keep the lights on here at Wonkette now that we got rid of those gross ads! Clickety click here, please.

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  • NorthernSaber

    Damn, FDF- I think they used to call that “giving them the business”, and you certainly did! Hoo-YAH!

    • Fivedollarfeminist

      Thank you. Mommy is MAD!

      • theCryptofishist

        Yes, nicely done. Thank you.

  • Major_Major_Major

    5$F is the shiznit. As someone that was.born as a straight, white, male to upper middle class parents, I don’t know the struggle but I sure as hell think we should try our damnedest to remove as many obstacles as possible.

    • Fivedollarfeminist

      Thank you!

      • Major_Major_Major

        Honestly, thank you. It is you folks that so eloquently, and adamantly, express the thoughts I think but can’t put into words that deserve credit.

  • UncleTravelingMatt

    That’s nice, that Sasse’s daughter got to do some farmer cosplay. I hope Juan and Felipe had all the cowshit shoveled out of the way so she didn’t get any on her shoes.

    • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

      And they paid for the privilege!

  • anon_the_great

    Between checking cows for pregnancies — a job that involves a shoulder-length glove…

    Oh for fuck’s sake! Rancher Dan ain’t gonna let some citified tween shove her hand up the cow’s money maker. If Rancher Dan did, he is a shitty ass rancher. Or Ben’s CowBro pulling a practical joke on Ben’s insufferable spawn.

    • theCryptofishist

      Now, now, let’s give them the benefit of the doubt. Maybe she lied to daddy and mommy. Because breaking away from their bullshit builds character.

  • theCryptofishist

    Yup, we need to prolong adolescence. Or maybe retirement. Or maybe reduce work hours. And probably have a guaranteed minimum income. Certainly, we could give more education. And encourage arts and craftsmanship (craftswomanship, also, too). What’s horrible is that we don’t have enough jobs AND we have so much that needs to be done. (Tax the rich.) If only we could figure out how to, for instance, clean up San Francisco streets. I don’t think that’s a matter of character…

    • Big Puppy Resists

      This.

  • grindstone

    My brothers and sister worked a neighbor’s tomato fields every summer, spraying, suckering, and picking. Why didn’t I? Because they were corporate-farm owned by the time I came along, and hired migrant workers. Been Sasse, like so many removed from reality white legislators, do not live in the real world.

  • OrG

    Yeah,I de-tassled corn back in Indiana. He’s lying.The job wasn’t that hard and we got stoned as fuck while we were doing it.

  • Yr. Gma

    My friend has a Fox-news-watching husband from Nebraska, and he spouts the same shit. It’s in the water.

  • jesterpunk

    Why dont those damn kids just work on farms? The health problems will be good for them and they will pull themselves up by their bootstraps and become rich, or they will die either one works.

    http://www.cc.com/video-clips/l0fvyd/the-daily-show-with-jon-stewart-nicoteens

  • mancityRed6

    “We would get home covered in nasty rashes, caked in mud and bone-tired. I’d go to bed in the late afternoon and sleep straight through till the alarm sounded again, for weeks on end.”
    ahh, isn’t that sweet? somewhere I have a picture of myself covered in a mixture of rust and river mud from wrestling a pump out of the ground. I’ve left for work in the dark, only to come home after it got dark. I showered, drank a beer, and went to bed. I’ve spent years working third shift because there were no first shift jobs available. hell, I’d love to be able to start working at sunrise. it would give me at least three hours more in the summer.
    Sasse is a moron.

  • TJ Barke

    Attention republicans: You are out of touch, ignorant scum garbage. please grow the fuck up, learn some actual information, and stop being arrogant selfish cocksnots.

    • jesterpunk

      They where born on 3rd base and swear they hit a triple.

      • theCryptofishist

        Silver spoons in their pockets, some of them.

      • TJ Barke

        More like they just ran home from first after the next batter hit a triple.

        • willi0000000

          they did the run-home thing but the guy behind them couldn’t get credit for that triple because they pick up the bases as they go past.

          [ later, they put the bases and all the balls and bats in a pile and burnt them so nobody else could play ]

  • mancityRed6

    oh, and the one summer I got a temp job at the 3M my dad works at, the very first day they really went on the safety kick since that very morning a girl in Texas (working a summer job) got her arm removed by an auger.

    • theCryptofishist

      But I bet she had character and grit now. (As an amputee, may I say, Oh, Fuck. Also, I have lost twice as many limbs as she has.)

      • mancityRed6

        I just can’t imagine being 18 and having that happen. or any age.

        • theCryptofishist

          I’m sure it was dreadful. It would be interesting to know what happened to her later. Something I edited out of my previous response is that I think I”m ahead of her without two legs, as hands are so much more useful. But I do have to say, it’s given me (or allowed me to use) “grit”. Like sandpaper, baby!

  • Toomush_Inferesistance

    There are burger making machines now, and machines that can actually take your order from the drive thru better than people can. Machines that can take your order at the counter. Amazon is trotting out machines to sort, pickup and box the items they sell. We are on the cusp of a whole lot of jobs going south…

    • Which is why we really need to start pushing for universal basic income.

  • All the kids should just get jobs with Mr. Soros, ya know, like all of us!

    !AGAM

  • I am totally convinced the GOP wants to foment a Civil War.

    • Yr. Gma

      War is always good for the economy.

      • theCryptofishist

        Has anyone done an economic analysis of what happens after the war? Does the economy continue at the new, higher level, or does it tank? Plus, I’m not sure that they are counting all the monies–for instance, vet care never seems to have enough money.

        • Yr. Gma

          I’m sure studies have been done. It seems to me it took about 20 years after WWII for the American economy to slow down. I could go look that up, but I’m lazy. And retired.

          • theCryptofishist

            Yeah, but look how long the south’s economy was stunted after the civil war. And England was still in economic decline for most of those 20 years, and even when I was there in the 70s as a kid, it seemed to be less functioning than ours.

          • bettycat

            As for the American South after the Civil War vs The USA after WW2 that’s the difference between losing and winning.

          • theCryptofishist

            Yeah, but the Brits won WWII.

          • bettycat

            Yeah but their country got hammered, they lost their colonies and USA! USA! was the only game in the world for manufacturing, exporting and investing in the global markets.

          • SterWonk

            And having to rebuild their economy without slave labor, also too.

          • bettycat

            The historical anomaly of US complete economic domination after WW2 will not be repeated again. Unfortunately, we tend to view that period, 1950-1980, as “normal” and expect it to come back. Ain’t gonna happen.

      • OrG

        Not if you lose.

        • Yr. Gma

          Republicans do not start wars they can’t win. (LOL. Harhar.)

          • Old town Urbandale

            Everyone knows that it’s the Democrats who started every war we ever fought. I’m sure they’re figuring out how to blame Obama for the imminent New Korean War.

          • willi0000000

            true . . . they just never stop fighting them so they don’t have to say they lost.

            [ case in point: The War Of Northern Aggression ]

      • bettycat

        It’s good for certain sectors of the economy, but no longer has the benefits of war in the old days. Conquer their lands, steal all their resources, enslave their women and children, this kind of war actually made economic sense. But we have evolved past that now. The best we can hope for today are spin off technologies that come at a very high cost. Keeping in mind the potential downside in total planetary annihilation.

    • Snopes Shop

      Which side do the purity ponies fight for?

      • Yr. Gma

        That is going to be a dilemma for the little darlings.

        • Snopes Shop

          Maybe they’ll sit it out

          • mancityRed6

            they don’t really seem like “fighters”

      • Msgr_MΩment

        “What is Both sides, Alex?”

  • UncleTravelingMatt

    Maybe Sasse would be more of a man and less of an asshole if he had my old summer job: wrangling pipe on a water well drilling rig.

    • mancityRed6

      I’ve not done the drilling part, but I’ve pulled them after the fact for cleaning.
      boric acid and industrial strength bleach were involved.

    • yyyaz

      In Gilbert, Arizona, in July, with a fundie-shithead boss who demanded you start work — off the clock — 15 minutes early every day, made you listen to his xtian hymns on his boombox and was too cheap to buy work trucks with a/c. Good times. NOT.

      • UncleTravelingMatt

        I didn’t have it that bad. I did have to drink Hamm’s, though.

        • yyyaz

          We had to make do with A-1, local horsepiss brewed with Phoenix water. Glug, glug.

    • Shawn Renee Ernoehazy

      My son did a few summers with his geologist grandfather at oil and gas sites collecting and testing mud, round the clock. Not heavy duty labor, but dirty, at all hours of the day and he stayed onsite in the trailer. My daughter had it easier getting out at 4 am to make lattes for commuters when she worked in a tiny coffee kiosk. Then she went to school after that.

      • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

        One of my kids began working at a chiropractor’s office when she was 16. She got screamed not to cry in front of the customers when she made mistakes, but she insisted on going back to work. By age 17, she was bullying sleazy workers comp insurance companies. The experience served her a damn sight better than working in some fucking corn field.

  • As a lower-class kid who grew up on a farm, and still ended up getting my master’s degree at Yale, FUCK HIM. He has no idea what hard work even is.

  • lucidamente

    He seems well on his way to being the next Paul Ryan.

  • jesterpunk

    “Hey parents you need to spend your vacation (if you even get one) working with your kids for free to build character.”

    Ben Sasse

    Parents everywhere.

    http://s2.quickmeme.com/img/91/912bcb507515413fde835d7b906343c2964db7b1a360a4f373cef3daaad16122.jpg

  • JMP

    How could you complain that these kids these days are lazy and have everything handed to them, when that’s the opposite of the truth? College required huge loans when I went there, and it’s gotten much worse since then, while good paying jobs are incredibly hard to find even for those of us with advanced degrees. If you want to see a generation that had everything handed to them, it’s the one called the Baby Boomers, at least the white ones, for whom college was so cheap it was practically free – and in some states like California it was in fact completely free, and who basically were handed jobs the moment they graduated college.

    Yet these are the folks whining that “the kids today” have it easy and are lazy, when no, they have it much, much harder and you’re projecting your experience onto them – the fact that no one works their way through college like you did isn’t because kids are lazy, it’s because college is way, way too expensive, no kids can make enough money to afford tuition on their own anymore.

    • mancityRed6

      there’s actually a meme about that
      http://www.quickmeme.com/Old-Economy-Steven/page/6/

    • mancityRed6
    • OrG

      Their bullshit story plays better with the fux news crowd than the truth.

    • yyyaz

      Reagan had already ruined the California State University system before millions of us boomers were college-age. I had academic scholarships when I started college in 1972, but that paid only tuition and books. Seeing that I left home a year earlier, I worked as many as 3 jobs every semester except my last until I graduated to pay rent, utilities, food, transportation, etc.

    • My brother had a summer job with a surveying company during college that paid him $7/hr the first summer and he got a quarter/hr raise every summer he went back. That was in 1977. According to dollartimes.com, that would be $29.04/hr today.

  • Toomush_Inferesistance

    Yup, I worked all my life, and now I have a bad back….

    • yyyaz

      So does one of my younger brothers, on opiates and medijuana, not even 60 yet, can’t walk some days, pays $1,600/month for health insurance and is sure the POSOTUS is going to fix his life. He actually thought that “free” health insurance for all Merkins was going to happen.

      • Toomush_Inferesistance

        Well, it didn’t wreck my brain, anyway. Don’t know what to say about your brother, except…….siblings, can’t shoot ’em!….

      • Good_Gawd_Yall

        Did he want free health insurance for everybody, or only for everybody who’s just like him?

        • yyyaz

          I have to give him credit for the only political view I can tolerate: everyone.

    • mancityRed6

      worked at a newspaper when I was a senior in high school. a few days a week meant getting up and there by 5 AM and then school. sunday editions meant until midnight on saturdays. every day for the local press.
      they papers would come out of the press on a little trough, every 25th one cocked to the side for easier counting. at it’s lowest point it was only about a foot off of the ground.
      we’d print about 10,000 papers in the afternoon. it was easier to keep up with the press if I bent down and scooped them up as soon as I could.
      some days it would take 3 advil to kill the pain.
      but at least I got credits for the job.

  • Doug Langley

    Gosh, we must have been doing it wrong at summer camp. I had no idea we were supposed to take the kids to farms and work them till they dropped. Whatever am I going to tell the parents?

    • theCryptofishist

      They are not losing sons, but gaining Manuel laborers.

  • anon_the_great

    Ah, yes. Those Idyllic Days of diesel, dust and heat stroke. The sickly sweet odor of recently sprayed pesticides. Let’s not forget the smashed, broken and occasionally decapitated fingers. Stacking bales in 130 degree hay lofts. No wonder Ben got the fuck out ASAP.

    • Incoming Ham

      “Idyllic Days of diesel, dust and heat stroke” is an awesome title for a book or poem.

  • HazooToo

    Y’know, Sasse is full of shit, but there are also things like “what the hell are taxes and how do I do them” that maybe should be in a fucking high school class. Like, he’s taking the actual good point of “teach teenagers how to adult” and getting it entirely fucking wrong. Teach them how to deal with taxes, how to apply for insurance and jobs, how to recognize a scam, and things like that. Not how to work themselves to the bone for no fucking money.

    • mancityRed6

      taxes and calculating interest. those should be mandatory.

      • yyyaz

        History of U.S. Tax Code as well. It would make his tiny head explode.

      • HazooToo

        Also, now that I think about it, “How does health insurance work” as a lesson in high school would have saved us a HELL OF A LOT OF BULLSHIT THIS YEAR

        • mancityRed6

          I was lucky. since mom worked at a clinic, health insurance wasn’t used for the emergencies. “employee write off” was a godsend for my parents.

    • TJ Barke

      Teaching children is communism. Bootstraps!

      • HazooToo

        Liberal indoctrination! Socialism! Hobgoblin!

        • TJ Barke

          Teaching children how to navigate finance is unfair to the poor financiers!

          • Résistance Land Shark Ω

            ARGLE BARGLE!

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      What are your obligations when you sign an apartment lease. The difference between buying and leasing a car. Your credit rating and how to get one. Why payday loans are shit…..

      • HazooToo

        How do you fill out a w-2. Basic Legal Contract Translation! What the fuck do all those official sounding words mean and how do you read before you sign without falling asleep or fucking yourself over?

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      What the process of buying or selling a home entails, and what tax obligations come with those activities. How to math.

      • HazooToo

        Even just a simple “how do you calculate your yearly income when you don’t work a 9-5 salaried job 5 days a week”

    • bettycat

      I saw this douch on Bill Maher. He is fairly dangerous because he does talk a good game and has a real “aw shucks I’m just a regular sincere guy” manner.

      • yyyaz

        Every successful Slick Eddie knows how to sell snake oil to the rubes.

      • HazooToo

        “regular sincere guys” are dicks.

  • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

    A slightly contrary view (even though I think he’s a pretentious douche): A shitty job can make you appreciate going to school instead… so long as you don’t have to work a shitty job while you go to school too (like I did, that sucked).

    • yyyaz

      Or two, or three.

    • Old town Urbandale

      But detasseling’s not that bad. Detasseling’s what you did if your parents made you earn money to buy your school clothes (or whatever), but you still wanted to be able to screw around most of the summer.

  • William

    “Note: Some of us who genuinely care about this problem have been pointing to the minimum wage reg’ts for teens that exacerbate it for years”.
    …Um…just for the record I never expected to be paid for it when I was a teen. It felt good, and I didn’t go blind.

    • Old town Urbandale

      Well Ben, kids in the cities working at fast food restaurants get the benefit of a minimum wage, but in your small towns most of the businesses (that haven’t dried up and blown away already) aren’t large enough nor do interstate commerce so they’re exempt. I started working for $1.20 an hour, which was 40 cents below minimum wage. And I was glad to have the job. Detasseling is nasty work, but because it’s for seed corn companies it does pay minimum wage (usually better!) and the season lasts only a few weeks, so it’s not like Ben spent three months getting corn rashes.

  • JMP

    Why would a man who claims to value hard work support a man who never once worked a day in his life for President, who has continued his extreme laziness and refused to actually work since stealing the White House?

    • Yr. Gma

      Yeah, and those Donnie spawn turned out so well after their summers at the ranch doing cow poking.

      • mancityRed6

        phrasing!

        • yyyaz

          Cow porking.

          • mancityRed6

            good times
            wait, what?

          • Msgr_MΩment

            Not for the cattle.

  • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

    Yeah, let’s have kids out picking onions in the Mason Valley when it’s 105 and no wind. Great plan.

    • mancityRed6

      oh my dog, the stench would be horrible with all those hormones

    • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

      I loaded potatoes and onions one Summer.

      1450, 50 lb boxes of potatoes can fill one boxcar. 1040 100 pound sacks can do the same.

      Loading onions is special. You are basically blind while that happens.

    • Those Belt Onions aren’t gonna dig themselves up out of the hard ground.

  • It’s like every male in the government or media is my Lackwit, hatefilled Father. Do they issue a book of bullshit, with pretty pictures to teach these Assholes how to be even bigger Assholes?

    • Yr. Gma

      Just like his argument about “kids these days,” assholes with time on their hands will always be assholes.

      • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

        Kids these days… “I had to walk 5 miles, uphill both ways, to and from school. And we didn’t have flame proof pajamas. If our pajamas got too close to a candle, we just burst into flames. And we didn’t have child car safety seats; we just flew through the windshield…”.

        • Incoming Ham

          You had to be careful with those crinolines too. Deathtraps.

      • Major_Major_Major

        I cant speak for the rest of you, but kids these days are nowhere near the assholes we were. Its a goddamn shame.
        Seriously though, I was an asshole, my kids…not so much.

    • William
  • mancityRed6

    I remember being paid “student wages” at the cheap theater I worked at (dollar shows, on movies a year out of date). it was something like $2.50 or so when the real minimum was $4.25

  • Résistance Land Shark Ω

    Rural state Senator? Would someone please use their Tony Lamas and vote him right in the truck nutz?

  • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

    Ahh yes the great old days of doing physical labor outside in the triple digits and coming home at night too tired to court a woman.

  • Lyly Sirivong

    I’m not sure what the situation is in the United States, but in my country, having kids work on a farm is not a solution. The farmers can barely pay themselves a wage, how could they possibly afford an employee ? Even when they’re 16 (minimum age to be able to work), you still have to pay them.

    Most of the kids I know work in the summer anyway, so I’m not sure what his point is…

    • redarmyzombie

      His point is, he is an idiot who doesn’t belong in a leadership capacity…

  • Deborah Ujevich

    My kids are so fortunate to have what they have, and I never let them forget it. I never miss a chance to dismiss a 1st world problem.

  • Raan

    The problem, Ben, is that you want to pretend that people who don’t work are just lazy.

    I’m not working so I can take care of my dad.

    Ben Sasse needs to go fuck himself with a rusty corn cob.

  • Good_Gawd_Yall

    Yes, great idea, Ben! Let’s replace hard-working adults with families to support who are working the very few non-automated jobs available these days, with whining rich kids who’ve never seen a piece of farm machinery in their lives, and don’t know a weed from a tobacco plant. That should really help the economy, if by “the economy” you mean “the rich people who own all the giant corporate farms.”

  • UncleTravelingMatt

    I’m all for kids working. I just find it funny that the guy lecturing everyone about it is a guy whose entire history of manual labor is a few months of detasseling corn as a teenager.

  • JMP

    You know why fewer teens work at fast food places now? Besides how they (like retail stores) have been going understaffed to increase profits, there’s a lot more adults working at those jobs now that most of the factory jobs have been replaced by machines; that’s one of the few blue-collar fields which haven’t been automated – yet. But the fast food companies are certainly trying, like the retail companies which have been replacing clerks with making the customers do the work and pretending they’re doing us a favor.

    Of course, that doesn’t stop the fast food companies from pretending that their employees are all just high school kids as justification for not paying them a living wage.

  • William

    Sure why not. The GOP would love to steal your childhood. They stole everything else. Just like the good old days eh? …and hey, if it’s good enough for Ivankas show factory workers, it should be good enough for you. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/32b7d268a3275b8418fdc44491e1beabbebae19d02274ba8e05703645da3552d.jpg

    • Michael R

      MAGA ?

      • William

        Absolutely.

    • nightmoth

      That could be my Grandma and great-aunt Dolly in that picture. They were put to work in a cotton mill when they were 6 and 8. Grandma didn’t learn to read and write until she got married and Grandpa taught her. They did have a lot of grit and strong character but their lives were hard. So hard that my Mom told me when Grandma found out at the age of 60 that she had incurable cancer, she said “Thank you, Jesus.”

      • Good_Gawd_Yall

        My gawd, that’s horrible!

    • Major_Major_Major

      There are many a Kochsucker what MAGAbates to ideas such as this.

    • Incoming Ham

      I had several aunts who worked in woollen mills and were missing fingers and parts of fingers.

  • The Wanderer

    Is it too much to dream that one day the US Government, from President on down, could be entirely made up of women? Just to see if there’s a gods-damned difference?

    • GreenGoldSharpie

      Well, y’know, the vast majority of mass killers are men too. ;-)

    • redarmyzombie

      I’m down, so long as the Imelda Marcos and Margaret Thatchers are sufficiently weeded out…

    • TJ Barke

      Not if any of those women are like Betsy DeVolved…

    • OutOfOrbit

      I would never wish to trade places like that, and not either to be a wommenz or a PoC. the inequality sucks so hard. i am lucky, it would be better with 52% wommenz, better all across the board

    • Major_Major_Major

      Oh, sure, and suppose someone doesn’t compliment their coordinating handbag and shoes, or even notice the new haircut. God help us all if that were to happen.
      That or we might have a less testosterone fueled penis comparing system of governance, potatoe, potahtoe

  • Mehmeisterjr

    And you try and tell the young people today that… and they won’t believe ya’

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      Nope, nope, they won’t believe ya.

    • OutOfOrbit

      i wont believe yu neither

  • Blanche Beecham

    I love this $5Fem. Great article.

    • Fivedollarfeminist

      🙏🏻

  • Msgr_MΩment

    . Between checking cows for pregnancies — a job that involves a shoulder-length glove — and bottle-feeding orphaned heifers, she loved it and hated it.

    Damnit! I thought the hipwaders would be sufficient once Sasse started flapping his yap. I gotta don cow-anal-probe gloves TOOO??!!

    • theCryptofishist

      Remember, you are the alien cow tipper. All probes must occur.

    • (((Aron)))

      Pretty sure the gloves are for a different part of the anatomy ;)

    • Charles I

      I worked in dairy barns from when I was 13 til 17. The man with the golden arm, the gloves were yellow, was a pro. The kids doing the milking did not do that.

    • Old town Urbandale

      From Ben’s sentence construction, it appears that his daughter loved shoving her arm up an asshole, but hated bottle feeding orphans. If that doesn’t say, “Republican values!!!!!” nothing does.

  • Good_Gawd_Yall

    You know what would really help those kids get the point? If before they started their jobs, all the job-killing safety regulations were rolled back. I’m sure the ones who survive being trapped on a high floor in a building housing an unregulated fire-hazard business would learn a whole lot of valuable lessons, like not taking advice from a putz like Ben Sasse.

    • Somewhere in today’s economy there’s a market for slightly singed shirtwaists.

      • Good_Gawd_Yall

        I love how y’all get me. ;)

      • (((Aron)))

        Zing!

    • Major_Major_Major

      If only those slackers at the Triangle Shirtwaist Factory had more gumption, more derringdo, more personal responsibility we wouldn’t have to suffer the deprivation of the nanny state.

      • Do you guys still have your OSHA or has it been chainsawed yet? Hard to keep up (its where I first read of this horror story)

        • Major_Major_Major

          Technically we do, but give 2 scoops enough time…

    • (((Aron)))

      Those stupid girls could have used their burning shirtwaists as parachutes when they broke through the barred windows and jumped!

  • Yr. Gma

    At last, an explanation for why I am not filthy rich (instead of just good looking.)
    http://www.cnn.com/2017/07/28/opinions/ugliness-premium-opinion-drexler/index.html

  • Blanche Beecham

    Well, if we run all the immigrants out of the country someone needs to do the dirty work for little pay.

  • The Asshole Exemplar we are discussing just gave me a Flashbck: about 5 years ago, I was watching a youTube video of the song “16 Tons” by Ernie Ford, and some dude in the comments was saying “when these Millennials learn the 16 tons work ethic, this country will start to be great again”.

    I block all youTube comments now, and obviously Shitheads like that commenter run our benighted nation now.

  • calliecallie

    They have pills for erectile dysfunction. And ADHD. Can they please invent a pill that addresses a lack of empathy? I think this is a chronic ailment among Republicans.

    • OrG

      I don’t know about a pill, but there is this plant…

      • yyyaz

        Repukes don’t smoke no debbil weed, libtard addict!

        • OrG

          I’m not an addict. I can quit anytime I want to. I just don’t want to.

    • Covfefe

      How do you add shareholder value by selling pills to people who don’t think they need them?

      • calliecallie

        1) Invent a disease
        2) Market the pill created to “cure” the invented disease
        3) Profit!

    • Incoming Ham

      Preliminary research shows (seriously) there is an actual empathy
      gene.

      • OutOfOrbit

        there IS?! well that explains a lot

      • Major_Major_Major

        Fucking thing mist be recessive on the old Y chromosome, which would explain the flock of misogynistic toolbags on the right. And also too why I am the only libtart (male or otherwise) in my family.

      • guppy06

        Can I pay to have mine removed? That’s one investment that would literally pay for itself!

  • William

    So the party that’s all about right to life and save the Fetus are just fine with poisoning kids in Flint Michigan and child labor. Oh look out for that belt Timmy! One slip, and some liberal, bleeding heart snowflake will make Mr. Boss buy belt guards or some other commie shit that we don’t need. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/59ca26a78df92c65afa4db919b6175632ce76f97ec6e8993289382f4e4444d14.jpg

    • Yr. Gma

      Yes.

    • OutOfOrbit

      they haz made that abundantly clear, the bastards

    • TJ Barke

      That’s why fetii are precious. As potential future disposable labor.

      • OrG

        Fetii? LOL

      • mancityRed6

        cannon fodder libelz?

        • TJ Barke

          That too. But then, even the cannon fodder are slowly gonna get replaced by robots.

    • DainBramage

      No one said that the Invisible Hand didn’t hold a whip.

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      That scene in Schindler’s List where Oskar Schindler holds out the little girl’s hand to the Nazi and talks about how she’s needed because her hands are small enough to get down inside the tubes the bombs are made of? The repukes thought that was a tremendous idea.

    • Incoming Ham

      Lots of missing fingers and a few arms from that job. But hey, they learn about adversity early in life!

      • Mehmeisterjr

        How can they learn about the value of limbs without losing one or two?

      • William

        Thank unions and the dems for a 40 hour week and safety regulations.

    • Komsumverweigerer Ron
  • BMW

    This won’t stop the major news outlets from giving him a moderate reputation because he occasionally shit-talks Trump.

  • Good_Gawd_Yall

    When my dad was a young’un, his dad was an alcoholic who had a series of shitty jobs. One of his shitty jobs was as an iceman. My dad worked with him, at ten or eleven, unloading 50-lb blocks of ice and hauling them into kitchens. Another shitty helping-dad job was milkman, which involved getting up well before dawn, wrangling massive cans of milk on and off a horse-drawn cart, and not getting to play until after work was done – oh, and his salary (what there was of one) went to his dad, of course.
    When my dad became an adult, he worked his ass off so his kids didn’t have to do any of that shitty-job stuff. We had other kinds of shitty jobs, of course – we weren’t coddled to death – but my point (and I do have one) is that there are many things in life that shape us, teach us empathy and the values we need to function as full human beings, show us paths we are eager to trod and paths we are eager to avoid. None of those things can happen in republican households, so they have to send their kids to farms. Sad.

    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      You know what worked for my kids? Talking to them about their lives. Who would have thought…

  • BMW

    You’d think earning a Ph.D. in history would have taught him something about the history of child labor laws.

    • OrG

      That just means HE’S LYING.

    • OutOfOrbit

      oh it did, it did! he longs for those good old Guilded Age times

    • yyyaz

      The last national pol I can recall who had a Ph.D. in history was Sen. George McGovern, who also represented a great-plains state (SD). Compare and contrast to where we are now.

      • BMW

        Newt Gingrich, sadly.

    • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

      Or the history of armed revolts against wealthy autocrats. Most Americans are one day without food away from open revolt.

      • bupkus231

        Hey – as a fat oldz, I’d be more than willing to go a day or two without food if it meant that we’d get to throw these guys out on their ears. As it is, all I can do is try and accomplish the same thing with votes, once every couple of years or so…

  • Carpe Vagenda
  • SeekingCovfefeBarbie

    I remember my summer jobs from almost 50 years ago, working in an office. It was where I first learned that a male with less experience earned more money than I did for the same job, for no other reason than that he was male. I hadn’t yet learned about feminism, but I knew that was unfair (and, to his credit, so did he).

    • Yr. Gma

      Yep.

  • StlSaxist
    • OrG

      Yeah and if someone gets sick these same people will be yelling about the government not stopping them

    • bupkus231

      You know – one thing about lemonade stands is that kids wanting to run one have to live where there’s a lot of foot and slow-moving car traffic. I tried it once as a kid, and sat there all afternoon, and all I got as customers were my grandmother and a couple of aunts. And most of the neighborhoods I lived in as an adult were “American suburbia” – i.e., everyone in cars going somewhere else very quickly.

      The lemonade stand for entrepreneurial kids is a fantasy almost as egregious as “tax cuts raise revenues”

  • Ellie

    I now understand what I did wrong with my children. Had I but known….of course, we lived in the middle of a city, so there weren’t a lot of corn fields…still, had I but known, I would have shipped them all out for a month to pull tassels off corn, so they too, could have gone to Harvard and become management consultants before starting their political careers. Perhaps I can talk my grandchildren into doing that for the great grands. The youngest gg is 2. Is it already too late for her?

  • ANOTHER FUN HAPPY-TIME GOP WORK SONG

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eh9WayN7R-s

    Just think how many hypothetical asses Paul Robeson could be kicking these days.

  • Incoming Ham

    I thought it was a badge of honor in the current batch of republicans to be an asshole. He should be shouting it loud and proud.

    • OrG

      Current?

      • Incoming Ham

        Good point.

      • Komsumverweigerer Ron

        Once upon a time Republicans were expected to be dignified and even elder-statesman-like. You youngsters might not remember.

        • OrG

          Oh I remember,Dwight Eisenhower was president when I was born.But I always thought they were full of shit.Even if they were “dignified and even elder-statesman like”.

          • Komsumverweigerer Ron

            You can be full of shit AND dignified. The entire British aristocracy is proof.

  • Alternative Dog

    Now THAT was a righteous rant!

  • Major_Major_Major

    He can pronounce it however he wants, but this is my thought everytime I see his name.
    https://youtu.be/W3d38MPMY4s

    • OutOfOrbit

      i afraid to watch that

      • Major_Major_Major

        Phil Hartman (PBUH), and funny AF.

        • Reximus

          funniest canuck ever

        • OutOfOrbit

          i wont haz a sad?

  • Good_Gawd_Yall

    Thanks for the terrific rant, 5DF! I miss the days of “Mad About a Thing,” although really, just about all of our posts and all of our non-comments are “mad about a thing” nowadays.

    • OutOfOrbit

      you noticed that too?

  • David Chaillou

    Trump’s solution to the Chinese trade deficit:
    1. Start a war with North Korea
    2. Denounce China support for NK, cut all trade.

    Make America Radioactive Again!

  • Painter of Goats

    So Sasse’s book is titled The Vanishing American Adult? What a bizarre coincidence. I was just thinking someone should write a book called The Vanishing American Adult Presidency.

  • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

    So, Ole’ Ben wants to wish all the blahs and the poors into the corn field like a common Anthony Freemont. Such a ‘nice’ guy. So what, aside from hurrying up and dying so we can decrease the surplus population are we disabled people supposed to do? Did I already answer my own question?

    As for the opioid epidemic, poor Ben doesn’t seem to know that most addicts aren’t buying their supply from ‘peddlers’. Until the world changed, doctors were over prescribing these things and the patients were told they were non addictive. I guess following doctor’s orders is a sign of moral weakness.

    I was offered those very pain killers by a few doctors a few years ago. I’m funny about medication and becoming addicted to a thing, I come from a family of addicts, so I turned them all down. That said, I have a wealth of empathy for those suffering from this cruel addiction. I guess Shitty Ben doesn’t have much of that for anyone at all.

    We used to realize that wealth destroys the soul. WAPO had a great piece about that today. Now, it seems people look at poverty as a moral failing and great wealth as a sign of divinity. The rich are, obviously, morally superior due to having been born into their position. What a shitty fucking creature Ben Sasse is. “If god were here, he’d tell you to your face ‘man, you’re some kind of sinner’.” There’s your ‘sign’, Benji-Boy.

    I’d really love to grab my ‘bootstraps’ and beat some sense into the next person who uses the term “bootstraps’. With votes, of course.

  • Husband Of Mrs God

    Ben Sasse, Child of the Corn.

    • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

      So who is ‘He who walks behind the rows’?

      • mancityRed6

        not tRump

        • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

          Karl Rove, maybe?

          • mancityRed6

            turd blossom is not a god or a demon, just a moron with a little bit of sense.

  • Tzipora Kaplan

    Five$Feminist is breaking into Evan Hurst’s ‘go fuck yourself’ column-age and I AM HERE FOR IT.

    Also Fuck this asshole forever with an unsanded extra large broomstick. I saw that tweet about his kid missing him in real time and I was all THEN VOTE NO RN AND GO HOME YOU DICKWAD bc other parents are literally weeping in distress right now.

    I Hate him.

  • Fartknocker

    In my sophomore and junior high school years I worked for a contract wheat cutter. I started in Oklahoma, and we moved to the Texas Panhandle, Kansas, Nebraska, Colorado and Wyoming. When I get done in 3 months I received a check for $1100 and was put on a Greyhound and sent back to Austin. Guess what Senator Shit Fer Brain: Farmer Brown’s combine is operating autonomously because of GPS and GIS, yields have improved even more, and so have his/her lobbyists. So pull your head out of your ass and do something substantial like job training and care for persons addicted to opioids. Also, I’ll be looking for your book in the $0.50 aisle at 1/2 price books since Mrs. Fartknocker wants a new cat, the new cat named Captain Purrball needs something nice to shit on.

  • Walter Wellstone

    Republicans are always telling other people how to live their lives. This asshole is no different.

    • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

      Republicans who don’t even have a handle on their own overfed lives are always telling other people how to live their lives. Republicans love to legislate as the ‘do as I say, not as I do’ party. Vultures, the lot of them!

      • yyyaz

        Except that vultures actually clean up the carcasses laid waste by circumstances.

        • Komsumverweigerer Ron

          I enjoy watching the turkey vultures flying over the fields and along the sides of the roads. I cannot say I enjoy seeing Republicans.

          • yyyaz

            Same, except when the feathered ones are circling a little too close to my personal airspace. The featherless ones should have a bounty of votes on them.

  • mancityRed6

    hard work never killed no one, no how.
    like my cousin, who was a trucker at 18 without a legal CDL license, lost all his teeth due to the meth but he did meet his beloved in the rehab, so…

  • UnsaltedSinner

    OT: Donald Trump is almost right about something!
    https://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/891437168798965761
    I can confirm that not a single genius was involved in Trump’s election victory.

    • Paperless Tiger

      Putin seems like a devilishly clever fellow.

    • Mehmeisterjr

      Hmm, I wonder who the sole and only genius was. No, no, don’t tell me. I’m keen to guess.

    • Yr. Gma

      Jesus, here he is talking about his “victory” again. Broken record (cliche for Oldz).

  • SeekingCovfefeBarbie

    Does Bennie Boy also think poor kids should have to work for their school lunches? Since 20% of children in the supposedly richest fucking country in the world live in poverty, there couldn’t possibly be enough school janitorial jobs, so I guess corporations should set up shops in the schools for the urchins to work in. That’ll learn ’em. MAGA!

    • yyyaz

      Corporate.Prison.Awaits.

  • Fun fact: I have all the same advantages as $5F and I am currently an agricultural laborer because I’ve been rejected or fired from every other available job and there is not a goddamn thing else for me to do. It is painful work in horrible conditions for what amounts to a fistful of seeds every two weeks.

    “But you’re learning a lesson from that, aren’t you?”

    Yes, I’m learning that I should do whatever I possibly can to never have to do this shit again. It’s the same lesson a child learn after touching a hot pan, but usually it’s not necessary for the kid’s father to slam her hand down on the blistering metal to make the point.

    • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

      Used to be, a parent would toil away at a shit job to squirrel away enough money to send their kids to college so they wouldn’t have to work such a shit job. Now? Nah, everyone’s gotta be s mercenary. Screw the kids, huh?

  • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

    Ben, you’re not doing it right. If you want your kids to have to full farm labor experience, send them out into the fields with immigrant workers to be sprayed with pesticides. Your anxious daughter might have to worry about being assaulted by the boss, also. And the bathroom is over there, between those furrows. Don’t worry, they wash most of it off of the spinach before we get it.

    • yyyaz

      I hear adult diapers have become de rigeur for field workers because bathroom breaks will put them below their quota.

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        that’s also why it’s so important to wash all your produce

  • aktlib101

    I wonder whether Republicans came up with this shitty idea on their own, or was it the Russian Spymaster whispering sweet words to them before bedtime.
    Case in point:
    When (a long long time ago in a Galaxy far far away….but I digress) I was in school, living behind the Iron Curtain, our Dear Leader of the Communist Party used to send an Autumn directive that would suspend school for 1-2 weeks at a time, and send us students to, what they called, “patriotic work”. This was usually a form of forced labor for teens (and adults), involving either something like apple picking in orchards (not that bad) or corn harvesting (which everyone hated). While we enjoyed the 1-2 weeks of “vacation”, and while apple picking was ok for a day or two, everyone hated the agricultural work. Of course, none of us would get paid for any of this, hence the “patriotic” description. In addition, our parents would also get these “labor stoppages” and would be forced to go perform “patriotic” harvest work (it was usually corn) for a week or two at a time. Unpaid, of course.
    I am sure Vladimir Putin remembers all of this, it was their (USSR) idea, if I remember correctly.
    Good times !

    • Mehmeisterjr

      Vladimir Putin? Donald Trump’s boyfriend Vladimir Putin?

  • Mehmeisterjr

    What I Did on my Summer Vacation

    This was a few years ago. OK, almost 50 years ago.

    I didn’t have the minimum weight to land a well-paying summer job in a steel factory but I did manage to squeak my way into a low-paying marginal job at non-steel factory. It was incredibly hot. I lost 10% of my already meager body weight. As soon as the sun started down, the mosquitos ate me alive. Handling the red-hot product bloated my hands to the size of catcher’s gloves and I could barely sign my name.

    Aww, Ben Sasse had a rash.

    Like the good boy I was (at that time), I didn’t spend my wages on hookers and blow but ever the junior capitalist invested it in the stock market so it all disappeared in a puff of Wall Street smoke.

    Two years ago, I discovered that the factory (long, long closed) was an asbestos pollution hot spot. No signs so far that I’m suffering any consequences but, of course, that could change.

    It should be mentioned that my parents, though somewhere in the middle of the the middle class, did not have the megabucks to pay the factory to employ me. Perhaps they should have had the foresight to take out a second mortgage so that I would have the illusion of working on a farm, thus learning the dignity of daddy-subsidized labor.

    I couldn’t even get that crappy job because the factories are all closed.

    But, to be fair, my father was not a useless, smug, rich, conscienceless, entitled, snobby fucker Senator.

    • mancityRed6

      8 years ago I worked in a plant that made and printed plastic cups, mainly taco bell. the whole process started with the making of the plastic so it had to be manned 7 days a week. I worked 6 days, at night, moving constantly in 93 degree temps.
      in three months I found another job (only because they were shutting the place down), and didn’t show up or call in for a week.
      they still wanted to know if I would be coming back.
      but I did lose 30 pounds.

      • Mehmeisterjr

        Red hot plastic’ll do that to you.

        In my plant, which had a metal roof, BTW, there was a (union-based) rule that they had to send us home if the temperature rose to a certain level.

        I forget what it was. 110 F? 115 F? Nothing like 93.

        Anyhow, it hovered just below that limit every day but one.

        Of course, I’m sure it is much worse in Ivanka’s sweat shops but they are comfortably out of sight, out of mind.

        • mancityRed6

          yeah, but the cups came off at something in the thousands per hour.
          and I definitely know what it’s like to work in a shop without a/c.

      • Les Appentis De la résistance

        It required 7 days and you only showed for 6? So much for personal responsibility.

  • Picabo

    “This is a Proctocracy after all — government by, for, and of assholes.” Credit Mark Sumner at Daily Kos.
    https://www.dailykos.com/stories/2017/7/30/1685417/-Abbreviated-Pundit-Round-up-You-re-kidding-yourself-if-you-think-next-week-can-t-be-worse-edition

    • Husband Of Mrs God

      There’s the opening! …and cornholers.

    • aktlib101

      Heh, I like this paragraph:
      “At the end of that week. who was punished? Priebus. Because of course he was. This is a Proctocracy after all — government by, for, and of assholes.

      There is something to be gained from this. At least Americans are getting a good look at what “business leaders” are like and how businesses are run. For decades, Americans have been fed a line of BS about how government is inefficient and corrupt while businesses are handled by enlightened leaders guided by the invisible-but-wise hand of the market.

      Nope. This is what they’re like. Most businesses are Proctocracies in their purest form, run by the guys who bully, backstab, betray, undercut and cheat their way to the top. They’re exactly as wise as Scaramucci’s call to Ryan Lizza. Exactly as fairly run as Trump’s money-laundering casino.”

      • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

        As big of an asshole as Scott Adams might be, it really is like Dilbert. Everything in a large corporation is about the bonus. The corporation my SO worked for constantly made idiot decisions because some manager somewhere could show that he’d saved the company a few Ameros and therefore qualified for a bonus.

    • Zyxomma

      I read the whole thing aloud to my friend, who no longer enjoys reading.

  • Nailed it, 5$F. Well done.

  • Wild Cat

    I’m glad that not only can he self-fellate like all male GOPers and Ann Coulter can do now, but he admires his own cornhole-filled youth.

  • Komsumverweigerer Ron

    I put myself through school the first time (out of three) by working summers. One was at a gas station across from a meat processing plant and kitty-corner to the Ontario Stockyards. On a hot summer night the smell was… rather penetrating. The next two I worked at a lead plant, doing maintenance and a bit of production work. When the big kettles were fired up you’d soak through your coveralls in minutes. They were low-paying jobs, but I saved enough for my education AND TTC fare AND meals, and a little left over to get a used Pinto.
    Today? The gas station is gone. The meat packing plant was demolished and the stockyard was moved. In fact, the entire intersection’s been changed. The lead plant’s gone too. They dug up the contaminated soil and turned the old factory building into high-end offices.
    My daughters have worked at fast food places, at Timmie’s, at groundskeeping, whatever they could find. Adjusted for inflation they made LESS than I did, 40 years ago. And school costs more.
    tl;dr Let’s see you work a REAL job, Sasse. You’d fold like an origami crane before lunch time.

    • yyyaz

      Exemplary illustration of the evolution of the American economy. Kudos.

    • Les Appentis De la résistance

      A Pinto? How did you survive?

      • Komsumverweigerer Ron

        By only hitting the FRONT of the car into things.
        Frankly I wish I still had it. By modern standards it was pretty crude, but it was a blast to drive, especially since I’d souped it up a bit.

  • wavicles

    Sing it, sister!

  • bupkus231

    Hey, lower the minimum wage for teens, and they replace all the farm workers we’re gonna kick out of this country when we deport all the illegals…

    • Granny Sprinkles

      Just fire up the orphan trains!

      • OutOfOrbit

        donut we have to make the orphans first?

        • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

          Gollum is working on that. Send their parents to jail for .1 gram of Demon Weed. Instant “orphan”!

  • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

    OT: Press keeps repeating Putin’s claim he is expelling 755 US diplomats from Russia.

    Per Michael McFaul: there weren’t even 750 staff total at the US Embassy and every mission post in Russia when he was ambassador.

    The press needs to be more skeptical when repeating claims by Vova Putin.

    • TJ Barke

      The press needs to be more skeptical when repeating claims by Vova Putin
      FTFY.

      • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

        Yeah, true, but you would think they’d know better when it comes from “There are no Russian troops or arms in Donbass. Now excuse me to go for ceremony awarding medals to Russian troops returning from Donbass” guy.

    • guppy06

      Putin no doubts plans to round out the numbers by denouncing political opponent as American agents.

  • Dudleydidwrong

    When Sasse is old and decrepit he’ll still regale them at the family reunions (held on the Riviera) with tales of how when he was young, he was driven to school in the family Cadillac in the snow, and it was uphill in both directions. And he never missed a day and got a perfect attendance certificate.

    • mancityRed6

      cadillac? must be one of the poors.

      • yyyaz

        Maybach, Bentley or GTFO.

        • mancityRed6

          maybach, you mean the lexus of the mercedes line?
          puhleeeze
          rolls royce.

          • Old town Urbandale

            This is Nebraska. It would have been a 4-wheel drive extended cab leather-seat and all the goodies pickup that costs as much as a Caddy. But Daddy gets to take off his taxes as a business expense. (And license for low bucks as well.)

          • mancityRed6

            I remember some Texas suburbs that wouldn’t allow trucks to be seen after a certain time.
            sundown laws for the vehicle you drive, imagine that.

  • Riley Whodat Venable

    Thanks $5F. that’s all, just thanks.

  • NotALiar

    Eat the fucking rich.

    • yyyaz

      After we soak them first.

      • Les Appentis De la résistance

        In hot sauce.

        • SDGeoff3

          Following a Brazilian wax job.

      • Msgr_MΩment

        I think it’s like with shark, you have to bury it first.

  • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

    I’m a huge fan of righteous indignation, $5F, especially when it’s both genuine and true. Thank you very much!

  • Relativicus

    To be fair to Ben, even the most overt peddlers of vulture capitalist, eat the poor, bootstraps, personal responsibility, racist crap still lie about it. The difference is they’re smiling while they do it.

    You can’t blame Ben. He’s a victim of mixed messaging.

  • Paperless Tiger

    Sasse is probably the one to watch next after Trump crashes and burns with votes. Trump wasn’t a real Republican, they’ll say. Sasse will do the same stupid shit, but he will look better doing it. Granny will feel much better losing her health insurance with that nice young man at the helm.

  • Angela Ruzzo

    Well shit, I picked corn every summer and I don’t remember getting any paper cuts from the leaves. I think he made this up. And my mother FORCED me to go to Summer Enrichment School so I could learn something interesting. I resisted every year because the idea of getting up at 7 am to go to school in the summer was Gitmo Torture to me, but every other year she made me go, and BTW there was no air conditioning in the schools in those days and it gets HOT in the Midwest in the summer. And guess what? I learned a lot. I learned about Japan and how to write Haiku when I was 7, and when I was 9 we studied Shakespeare and the parallels between “Romeo and Juliet” and “West Side Story”, and when I was 11 we studied archeology and went on a dig to find Native American artifacts. On alternate years we piled in the car and went on a trip – to Mexico, to New York City, to visit the Civil War Battlefields, to see Yosemite, always something educational and interesting. In junior high I went to a summer music school every year and played great music by the masters, led by visiting conductors from major orchestras, and I learned a lot. I didn’t need no fucking summer job picking corn or delivering calves to learn responsibility. I enriched my mind instead. Thanks, Mom, for paying for the extra summer classes and all those trips we took, and the Red Cross life saving swimming classes, and for paying to let me stay in the dorm for the summer music camp even though I lived in the same town where it was held and could have stayed at home and saved you money.

    • BosGrl

      You were not only fortunate but interested in what was being offered to you. You can’t force kids to care about the arts or literature (my own kids weren’t, most of the time, though I tried very, very hard; they didn’t want much that I offered), and not everyone has time/money to travel. If you don’t have the advantages that some of us are born with, and/or you are not intellectually curious, you still deserve to eat, have a decent roof over your head, and health care.

      • Angela Ruzzo

        You are right. I appreciated everything I was given, and my mother knew I leaned in that direction or she wouldn’t have persisted with her plans. My brother did not lean in that direction, and she did not force him to go to summer school or take music lessons, she let him go fishing or tinker with engines instead, which he enjoyed. I did not realize it when I was little, but my mother was making huge sacrifices to pay for all the extras she offered to us because we did not have a lot of money. One of her gifts to us was not letting us know this. And if I keep writing about this I will start to cry because I never told her “thank you.”

        • BosGrl

          I’m sure she knew. Hugs!

          • Angela Ruzzo

            Thanks. Yes, she knew. She knew everything. She had High Level Maternal ESP. She was an exceptional person, and I was very lucky to be her daughter.

    • mancityRed6

      I volunteered to go to school on saturday so I could learn about the apple 2E

      • Angela Ruzzo

        That is so cool. There were no computers when I was little or I might have done the same thing. Instead, we had orchestra rehearsal on Saturday mornings at 8 am and you have no idea how much I hated getting up early on Saturday to do that. But I did it, and I suppose I am a better person for doing it. Or so I like to think, LOL.

        • mancityRed6

          my mom tried getting me into sports, so I kept telling her about all the kids that were injured that way.

          • Angela Ruzzo

            That’s very clever of you. I wanted to join Little League in the summer, but they wouldn’t let girls do that when I was young. I also wanted to be an Altar Girl at church, but ditto.

          • mancityRed6

            oh, I was an altar boy. to at least a good priest. but that is a different story altogether.

  • Les Appentis De la résistance

    I was suposed to learn how to swim by going to a 7 am swim class at an outdoor pool. It was always freezing. I didn’t learn to swim. My parents meant well.

  • (((fka_donnie_d)))

    Wait, motherfucker seriously has PhD from Harvard? Between him and Anchor Boy Cruz we really need to address the Ivy League education crisis.

    • Snopes Shop

      I would love to see these men’s SAT scores and compare them to this person who was rejected from both Harvard and Yale.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      The Pee Aitch Dee ain’t no innokulation against pig-ignorance.

      • (((fka_donnie_d)))

        Clearly

  • Les Appentis De la résistance

    I heard this jack hole on some NPR show and just wanted to box his ears. Hard. With votes.

  • Mr. Blobfish

    BS. Sasse spent his summers pulling the legs off of insects. Probably still does.

  • mancityRed6

    https://img.wonkette.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/07/Screen-Shot-2017-07-30-at-3.07.32-PM.png
    I’m not one to resort to making fun of anyone’s looks, but come on.
    this is a guy who can’t even eat corn on the cob properly.

    • Yr. Gma

      He has people to take the kernels off and hand feed them to him one at a time.

      • mancityRed6

        sounds like an easy job.
        are the tweezers provided, or do I have to bring my own?

      • Snopes Shop

        LOL

    • SDGeoff3

      Someone tell him that it goes to the mouth FIRST.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Oops…that’s what I get for commenting before reading. Thanks, 5$F, for taking one for the team!

  • Zippy W Pinhead

    Have none of these bootstraps idjits noticed that most of those shitty jobs are now filled by adults who had to settle for that shitty, low paying job because nothing better is available? Go to any fast food joint- a bunch of people my age working there. Go to the local convenience store- a bunch of people my age working there. Try the carwash- a bunch of people my age working there. The gas station (assuming you can find a full service one these days) – a bunch of people my age working there.

    Maybe if these fuckwits weren’t so damned selfish and took better care of those people my age, all those character building, entry level jobs could go back to being for teenagers.

    • OrG

      Come to Oregon,all gas stations are full service. The fascists want to change that, but the peeps aren’t havin’ it.

      • OrG

        P.S. Gas is approximately the same price as in Washington,where ya gotta get outta your car and pump it yourself.

        • Zippy W Pinhead

          that is usually a result of local and state taxes, as well as proximity to refineries

          • OrG

            Yep, but I guarantee that if someone wanted to make self-service illegal they would scream about the price going through the roof.

      • Querolous

        The list of counties that now can have self service maps closely with counties with high unemployment statistics. http://www.oregonlive.com/politics/index.ssf/2017/03/self-service_gas_for_rural_ore.html

        • OrG

          I didn’t know about that. I just skimmed the article,but it seems that would be the trumpkin part of the state.

          • Querolous

            Also closely maps with OR2, Walden’s district.

  • OT – watching Snipe & Wib Let’s Plays on the youTube. I was already crushin’ on Snipe when I learned that her favorite jet is the Harrier. So: Cute, foul-mouthed, Australian, Gamer, plays Space Marines in 40k, loves Harrier jets.

    If she were not Straight, Married, and living in the UK I would be in love. xD

    • mancityRed6

      a couple of Chinooks flew over not that long ago, low enough I could see the pilot.
      I thought of you.

      • :D Did they have the in-flight refueling probe?

        • BloviateMe

          That’s awfully personal.

        • mancityRed6

          I did not look for probes. though, they are a regular feature around here, I’ve just never seen them fly so low.

          • I saw a pair of Chinooks about 10 days ago. I see Blackhawks every day, and Apaches about once-a-week.

  • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

    Ben crack corn and I don’t care.

  • SDGeoff3

    Am I mistaken, or is this that same Sasshole that some libs were creaming their jeans over a few weeks ago?

    • bupkus231

      Yeah, because he had the nerve to challenge something or other about the GOP’s healthcare debacle. You notice he voted for every version of it last week?

      • SDGeoff3

        I did. I had a feeling it would happen that way. All the Republicans have turned into political burlesque queens. I knew in my gut that he couldn’t spin his tassles.

  • Mavenmaven

    Sounds like the crap spouted before attempting a presidential run.

    • Snopes Shop

      Absolutely.

  • SeekingCovfefeBarbie

    “…she knew that her mild suffering was also a formative experience for a lifetime.” How many 14-year olds think that way? I bet the only way she “knew” that was because he told her it was.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    BTW, I spent the summer just before my sixteenth birthday working in a state park. Hard work, low pay, miserable conditions…and yes, it did build character. Guess what program got cut by Republicans the summer after that?

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/6bf2bdd93786d15a53ce9abb9e905675fd4218681ecf1da43c26582fa152f30f.jpg

    • Courser_Resistance

      I took a year off from college to work at a YCC camp. Construction labor and feeding Bighorn Sheep before relocating some of them, in the winter. Park maintenance and trash in the summer. Yes, it was a hard, cold, totally awesome experience. Smoked a lot of weed, drank a lot of alcohol, made a little money only because there was no where to spend it. But again, it was all white folks though a few of the kids were from low-income rural homes.

    • BosGrl

      My grandfather had connections and for 3 summers while I was in school I had a nice manual labor job at better than minimum wage cleaning Revere Beach and picking up along the parkway with a pointy stick. I was really lucky to get that and just like your job, the summer program was cut not long after.

    • bupkus231

      More like a hogshead worth of STFU ( 1008 cups ) force-fed with a fire hose….

  • folderol

    And yet American productivity continues to increase, while salaries stay flat. Hmmm. I want me some more of that.

    • aktlib101

      Yep. Automation. Robots. Probably made in China.

      • folderol

        It’s not just that, though. Workers, acting as individuals, lack the power that corporations (acting as a collective) have. Plus, legal protections are eroding, where noncompete clauses for even sandwich makers exist, where copyright protections never expire, where people with money to invest pay lower taxes than those who produce. Joy.

        • BJW

          Union busting has sure paid off.

    • BosGrl

      Did I read somewhere that salaries are pretty much the same as during the Reagan administration, though the cost of living has gone way up? I’m not making much more than I did coming out of college 30 years ago – in actual dollars, not adjusted.

  • cheetojeebus

    Sick and tired of all these dunning kreuger fuckhead republicans attempting to explain away the difficult and heartbreaking troubles of people at the bottom end of the economic scale. Their only interest in this arena is how they can get their fucking greedy hands on any funds in that group; aid, wages, taxes etc. Fuck them hard with a fucking huge genetically modified dried ear of corn.

  • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

    “Now you kids, get off my corn cob and don’t give me any Sasse!”

  • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

    Isn’t Sasse also the dumbass who suggested moving the capital to Omaha?

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      I think so

    • ariel_gee_398

      In the alternative, I’d be willing to declare Nebraska not-America and it can have its own national capital in Omaha and stop draining resources from those blue states.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      What does he have against Lincoln? He was a Republican. Maybe Sasse didn’t know that. A lot of people don’t, apparently.

  • Lance Thrustwell

    I am so down with FDF. Right here, sister. {taps heart.}

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    But I’ll give Ben Sasse credit for this much:

    I was feeling tired after doing my long run and was tempted to blow off my resistance group meeting (“there will be more meetings, God knows!”) Now I’m ready to get off my ass and work. TTYL, Wonkers!

  • Red Bird

    F$F, I like they way you write. Every word is true. If only more USMericans could understand what you said about the shift from manual labor.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      We need to build a wall with MeXXico to keep Manuel Labor out!

      • Red Bird

        He’s a jerb stealer.

  • Zippy W Pinhead

    just more shuckin’ and jivin’ from the GOP

    • OrG

      That’s pretty corny.(couldn’t resist)

      • BloviateMe

        Not a kernel of decency to that pun.

        • Alex Grey

          Give them an ear, and they can’t help but pontificate.

  • mancityRed6

    OT: maybe this is why Scaramuchi is getting divorced?
    well, ok, one of the reasons.
    https://twitter.com/MattBinder/status/891409441014378501/photo/1

    • Snopes Shop

      We all should pray for that child

      • Ω cynmac will never surrender

        Actually, no. Like Tiffany, Deidre will probably raise the kid in a different community and in relative normalcy.

    • Mehmeisterjr

      Doesn’t this kid have a job yet? What a taker!

    • Msgr_MΩment

      “our”: facts not in evidence.

    • Ω cynmac will never surrender

      And the kid was early and is in the NICU.

  • Lance Thrustwell

    I blacktopped driveways as a kid. Working with 100-degree tar in the middle of summer, days starting at 7:00 am. But I came home to my mom’s dinner and a loving family. Some kids don’t have that. Sasse doesn’t want to help those kids. Fuck him.

  • BloviateMe

    Fantastic read, FDF.

  • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

    the absolute worst job I had was McDonald’s, smelly, greasy, dangerous hard work.

    My back ached, we got burns, we were always hot. It was awful.

    • BloviateMe

      I worked a lot of concrete construction with my uncles from can’t see to can’t see, and in the offseason I worked at Hardee’s. HATED IT, lasted a month. Worse than the misery of concrete.

    • proudgrampa

      One of the proudtwins worked there for a while. I hated picking him up from his shift because he smelled like french fries and the scent lingered for days.

      • Ω cynmac will never surrender

        Onions. The onions were the worse. And your shoes would get greasy. I wouldn’t even take those in the house.

    • mancityRed6

      I gave my two weeks notice and was stuck on “parts” for that time.
      “parts” is the manual dishwashing.
      not really that bad, except for being there at 10PM until everything was done.
      I got all the nuggets and mcribs I could eat.

    • amrak63

      So you weren’t lovin’ it? ;)

    • Bobathonic

      Wow, it’s terrible that your parents even sent you to McDonald’s Camp.

    • Tina in Spokane WA

      Being a priveledged white middle-class girl teenager in the 1970’s, my work experience was baby-sitting. But my older brother worked as a cook at–I kid you not youngsters–“Sambo’s Restaurant” in Wyoming. Yes, there really was a Sambo chain of restaurants which decorated the walls with pictures from the book “Little Black Sambo.” Horrors.

      • Dick St. Dipshit

        I think there used to be one in Lincoln City when I was a kid. I have a vague memory of the pictures. Gruesome.

    • Thiazin Red

      I had a housemate who worked there. After her shifts she would spend about an hour washing the smell off.

    • Ω cynmac will never surrender

      My dad went on a drug/alcohol fueled rant in 1978 about how the “wife and kids” were parasites. Mind you, I started doing the books for his private practice when I was 14. I continued to do them through college. What he paid me was a tax write-off and kept him from hiring real, competent office help. His girlfriend made the appointments and answered the phones, but put her near the money? No way.
      That summer, I got a job at McDonald’s. Hated it but I was putting it to “the man”. He hated when I worked closing because he’d have to pick me up at 2 a.m. and that cramped his style.
      And yes, my father was a Black Republican. Was because he did vote for Obama in 2012 and supported Bernie in 2016.

  • BloviateMe

    When I picked corn as a youth, I had to do it in the snow, uphill both ways.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      pre frozen corn- Ilike it!

    • Marion in Savannah

      Bet you didn’t even have bread bags for your feet…

      • OrG

        Bread bags were for the rich kids.

    • amrak63

      While fighting off packs of velociraptors with your bare hands.

      And you LOVED it, amirite? ;)

    • Msgr_MΩment

      You gotta jump down, spin around! (Huhn!)
      And pick a bale o’ Dacron
      You gotta jump down, spin around!
      And pick some Nylon, too!

    • Alex Grey

      Luxury!

  • Jamoche

    Mad props to the photographer for catching this Pinocchio-esque angle of Kasowitz.
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/2ac3b0497b8265f86ec478f81b65df9efdf9ac5bdcc5eadf76f050e7fde45644.png

  • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

    Thank goodness… Andrea Mitchell is reaching out to McFaul and State Department to find out how many personnel we really had in Russia instead of repeating Putin words like the rest of the parrots.

  • Jennifer R

    Ben Sasse a guy who never worked a day in his worthless life.

  • msanthropesmr

    ST JOHNS!

    They should ask for his degree back.

  • Marion in Savannah

    Ben’s Ass is, well, pretty much a typical Republican. Or am I wrong in that assessment?

    • proudgrampa

      Did they nickname him Horse’s Sasse?

    • amrak63

      No, you are quite correct.

  • proudgrampa

    “…mild suffering…”

    How quaint.

    Asshole.

  • MilwaukeeKent

    Gah! That whole “Pull yourself up by your boot-straps!” argument gets under my skin. This is how the scene always plays out in mind:
    Well-meaning but clueless conservative: “P.Y.U.B.Y.B-S”
    Earnest, promising young black male: “Yes, sir.” Turns to walk away.
    Conservative notices the young man’s footwear.
    “Wait a minute, kid. Come back here.” Young man complies.
    “Where’d you get those boots, kid? No way a punk like you can afford those. Did you steal those boots?”
    “?”
    “Got a receipt? Up against the car, punk! Spread ’em”, patting him down, “Got any sharps?” Cuffed, thrown in the back of a squad car. [end]
    Now I guess it needs an addendum: Pulls kid back out of the squad, says, “This one’s for Trump.” Bangs kid’s head into car-door frame and throws him, half-conscious, back in.

    • Marion in Savannah

      So where did you steal the police training manual from?

      • MilwaukeeKent

        I spent 8 years as a file clerk in local municipal court, dealing with them face to face, taking smoking breaks with them, etc. It got to where I could tell the good cops from the bad cops (the ratio was about 40/60 to the bad).

  • Tina in Spokane WA

    Sasse thinks black kids from urban areas should go out in a field and pick cotton for free to “learn how to be adults.” That will provide them with good job skills for modern America.

    • Jamoche

      They’ll be ready when the assholes finally succeed in making it so black adults have to do it for free again too.

      • Ω cynmac will never surrender

        We’re never going back and the gun sales to POC support that. Arresting those kids is heinous. In Atlanta on a hot day, the street vendors are a godsend. They hang around the train stations here. The sidewalks are public property and they don’t get hassled. Hell, MARTA, our transit authority, sells sodas in vending machines and have loosened their rules on food and drink.
        That officer that was hassling the kids who were mowing lawns I guess didn’t get the message.

    • II Gosala

      🎶Cotton by the roadside
      Cotton in the ditch
      We all picked cotton
      But we never got rich🎶

      https://youtu.be/HxxzMEeyZzA

    • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

      isn’t one of hte big things about modern employment how people can’t computer gud enuf?

      I guessing agriculture work will fix that.
      /s

    • Alex Grey

      Or at least 3/5 of an adult.

  • II Gosala

    Bracing and refreshing like being smacked in the face with the cold spray from the surf of a northern sea.

    One observation though: don’t assume your children, BS’s children (can I call him BS? Of course I can!) or anyone’s children will be fine.

    Even if we dodge the many disasters that threaten us (climate change, resource depletion, over population, etc), Solomon’s words are still true:

    The race is not to the swift
    Nor the battle to the strong
    Nor bread to the wise
    But time and chance happeneth to them all

    Especially if said child follows the siren call of the road less travelled and follows their heart/bliss/whatever on to ways not blessed by modern corporate capitalism — because, no, the money doesn’t just follow — um … or at least so my friend tells me.

    • BosGrl

      That made me cry because truth.

    • hillarysleftone

      whenever I read or hear this, I can’t help but remember Damon Runyan’s version: “The race is not always to the swift, nor the battle to the strong–but that’s the way to bet.”

    • Ω cynmac will never surrender

      Followed the road less traveled into the computer industry and telecom tech before PCs and cellphones and had a glorious 30 year career supporting the creation and implementation of stuff that was still sci-fi in 1979 when I finished HS.
      My family swore that I was going to fail and when I prospered, they were flabbergasted. They try the same shit on my kid and my nieces and nephews, who have started to move away to greener pastures.

      • II Gosala

        Kinda missed the point, pal.

        • Ω cynmac will never surrender

          Nah, the computer industry then was nascent and seen to be unstable. My parents told me that I needed to be a “doctor, lawyer, preacher, teacher” to be secure, because that’s what they were told in the 1950’s when they were going to college and things were still segregated.
          I come from the Talented Tenth (read W.E.B. Dubois) and that has it’s own layers of privilege.
          Don’t ever dare judge my story again. Got it?

          • II Gosala

            I don’t judge your story. It is what it is, but what you miss is that you are one of the lucky ones.

            You took a mighty big risk — the more so if you’re of the talented tenth — and it panned out. Good for you.

            But it was a risk. It didn’t have to turn out like it did. It might have turned out like your parents rolls you.

            For many it doesn’t turn out so well. Some of us take risks, we look to soar with the birds and merely fall flat on our faces.

            Looking back, I made no wrong decisions. I would chose the same path again. But it didn’t work out so well for reasons no one could have foreseen.

            Get it?

          • Ω cynmac will never surrender

            Sure, but I wasn’t judging the people that it doesn’t work out for. I was saying that it isn’t easy for people who have a good thing, like I did, to try a new thing. Because they know that if they fail they will be mocked for even trying.
            My parents came thisclose to disowning me for wanting to go to a top rated engineering school, instead of their HBCU alma mater. My grandmother told me that I would never find a husband by going to a PWI.
            Even though it did work out, my mother was still crying the blues 30 YEARS later that I hadn’t gone to Spelman, where I would have been 3rd generation. Finally, at age 50, I finally told her to STFU.
            So I have two kids, who both finished two years of college and then decided to try different things. One went into culinary and the other went into physical therapy and the Army Reserves. It was a scandal in my family that they didn’t have college degrees. I stood up and told the dissenters to “keep it to themselves”.
            So yeah. I get it. And I’m sorry that it didn’t work out for you, but did you have people, family even, who should have been pulling for you wishing you to fail?

          • II Gosala

            It isn’t easy to try a new thing, and I didn’t mean to suggest that you didn’t take a tremendous risk — and you won!

            And good for you for encouraging your children to follow their own star. Really, too many parents don’t do that; they are too worried about their material well being.

            Well, why wouldn’t they be? Your parents and grandparents struggled against a racist system that robbed black folk of whatever little wealth they managed to accumulate.

            Of course they were proud of the HBCUs. They represented pride in one’s own and resistance to a repressive system.

            And, if they identified with the talented tenth, worldly success mattered to them. It was how they were going to prove the worth of Black people to Whites.

            Your failure, if it had been a failure would have undercut the whole meaning of their lives.

            But you showed them that they were wrong. You could take a risk they could not imagine and wind up on top.

            Perhaps I should let that sink in a minute: that a black person can take a risk that once was unthinkable is a kind of progress I hadn’t thought about.

            And you encourage your children to follow their own dreams, even if it means a risk of failure, because what is a human life worth if it reduced to the mere pursuit of financial well being?

            I only hope you have made your children aware that it is a risk.

            My people — this will be a long story and I don’t apologize — came largely from the Boston area of England.

            They were Puritans and much persecuted by the English government. They believed there was something more important than worldly success or acceptance by the powers that be. They were willing to risk jail and even death for their religion [never mind for the moment that their religion was pretty awful]

            They came to this continent in the 17th century and lived lives of obscurity until my grandparents who managed to make a pile.

            Then all of a sudden there was a conflict because having wealth was good, or at least comfortable, but too make of centuries of resistance?

            So my parents were kind of quiet about their hopes for me.

            My father wanted, as I discovered later, but did not say that I should make my own pile, but he was never able to help me reconcile what was necessary to make a pile with being a decent person.

            My mother wanted me to follow my heart, but she was ever fearful that “you can’t make a living in the arts.”

            So, I’ve been left to my own devices, and I find I revert to form: screw the system; sobeit if I’m poor, I’ll follow the way God sets before me.

            I just wish someone had warned me.

  • proudgrampa

    Sad thing is, when he was interviewed on Maher a few weeks ago (the infamous n-word episode), he seemed kinda nice.

    But it’s obvious he hasn’t a clue.

    • redarmyzombie

      It probably helps his image when the man opposite is being a blatant racist scumbag…

      • proudgrampa

        Unfortunately, that is very true…

  • mancityRed6

    http://crooksandliars.com/2017/07/dana-perino-trump-will-move-sessions-dhs
    “Dana Perino: Trump Will Move Sessions To DHS In Order To Fire Mueller”
    huh.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      what on earth makes her think the senate would sign off on that?

      • mancityRed6

        recess appointments, recess appointments everywhere.

      • Ω cynmac will never surrender

        I have heard that the Senate may not adjourn to thwart TRMP.
        Next move!

        • I’ll believe it when I see it. For all of their tough talk, they just keep rolling over for Trump. I have no idea why. But, the better to destroy the party with, I suppose.

    • Aside from hating immigrants, WTF makes Sessions qualified to run DHS?

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        I’d love to see the ensuing chaos of the elf having to go through another confirmation hearing, considering how damaged he is already. The odds of getting 50 GOP senators to vote yet again for a guy who lied his ass off to them last time, knowing full well that voters would then consider all of them fully complicit in Donnie’s obstruction of justice, is effectively zero.

        • Ω cynmac will never surrender

          Actually, he doesn’t have to go through another confirmation hearing, does he? The next AG would have to go through the hearings and the Senate committee has told Trump “no more hearings until next year”.
          So much for those first 100 days, huh?

          • Zippy W Pinhead

            I do believe he’d have to be reconfirmed for the new job

      • mancityRed6

        um, that first thing you said?

      • Isn’t that enough?

      • Msgr_MΩment

        Um… he doesn’t have to recuse himself?

    • artem1s

      sweet Jeebus they are fucking idiots. This is what happens when you elect Know Nothings for 3 decades.

  • Villago Delenda Est

    Thank you for a fine, righteous rant, Five Dollar Feminist. Worth more than that!

  • Scooby

    When I was a kid my dads friend talked incessantly about how hard he worked. My dad convinced him to let me follow him for the summer learning the ropes. I found out the true meaning of hard work that summer. It entails, drinking coffee, reading the paper, talking about the Yankees and playing cards.

  • Zippy W Pinhead
    • BosGrl

      I have never understood that kind of ambition.

      Also: We have been saying that about Drumpf (a total fake) for a very long time.

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        I can’t even stand to be around those type A assholes

    • Ω cynmac will never surrender
    • II Gosala

      “Esse quam videre.” I like that.

      • SDGeoff3

        Rolls off the tongue.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      That was Lo,man.

    • artem1s

      But he isn’t that guy. He isn’t Blake. He’s poor sad old Shelley Levene, who cannot close the deal, who spends his nights whining about the unfairness of it all.

      Dolt45 is hardly Shelley Levene. Shelley Leven is at the end of his middlingly decent career, trying to save his dying daughter and his job. Dolt45 is Dave Moss (Ed Harris in the film) who bungles the theft of the good leads from the office safe and ends up breaking under middling questioning by Blake. He is the sad, almost forgettable character, who does something incredibly stupid at the end of the second act who only exists to drive the plot and the main characters forward to the finale.

      We all know without his inheritance, Dolt45 would be managing a Motel 6 somewhere; spending most of his time harassing the maids and wait staff. He’d be 3 times divorced, hooked on oxy and if his kids were lucky they’d have completely lost track of him. He really won’t end up much different than that. He’s gonna die alone, in a jail cell or on one of his crappy gold plated toilets. Sad, pathetic, and forgotten.

  • Mike Steele

    You’re a little late to the (R) party, Ben. Newtie wanted kids to replace the school janitors years ago – for free. BTW, there were probably scads of kids working the small summer businesses on Ocracoke and Hatteras until some jackass contractor put a steel post through the underground power line, and likely cost those poor islanders an entire season’s worth of income.

    • Mike Steele

      Lady MS adds: Graduated HS too young to drive or get f/t work permit. Spent that summer taking impressions of kids’ teeth/making plaster casts thereof for an orthodontist who paid me under the table. Did the Sunday a.m. shift @ Dunkin’ Donuts. My stepfather would come in, pretend not to know me, order a cruller & coffee (less than a buck), then leave me a $1 tip. Other servers thought he was my ‘sugar daddy’ :)

  • Matt Keasler

    Wait, he didn’t even have a steady job as a teenager? He just detassled corn for a month? THAT’S what he’s holding up as his example of virtuous labor? What a fucking asshole!

  • Anna Rompage

    You know who else used free child labor?

    • Painter of Goats

      Our goat farm?

    • Ω cynmac will never surrender

      NYC sweatshops? also see: Triangle Shirtwaist Fire.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      The adolescent Egyptians?

    • Babby sheep? They make great lawn mowers.

    • The Duggars?

    • Kiri the Unicorn
    • Old town Urbandale

      Every farm family in America? That bit about “raising our own farm hands” isn’t a joke.

    • redarmyzombie

      J. D. Rockefeller?

    • OrG

      Who’s that ann rand guy? Him.

  • Personal cooking update: wonton crackers came out tasty. Taco waffles look good, but i still need to make pico and taco filling for them. Cornmeal cookies are tasty, but are the wrong consistency due to my not remembering to follow directions. Mary Berry and Paul Hollywood would rip me to shreds

    • SDGeoff3

      May I recommend Krusteaz Meyer Lemon Bars? Easiest damn thing in the world, and use heavy cream instead of water.

      • Can i make them be lime bars instead? I do not have lemons, only limes

        • SDGeoff3

          Well, it’s a box mix with the lemon filling, and they do have lime bars in a mix.
          There are some nice recipes online, maybe check Rachel Ray? Substituting lime juice and peel for lemon works fine too in a scratch recipe.

          • Oh. It’s a mix. I bake from scratch most often.

          • SDGeoff3

            Me too, but lemon/lime bars are a real effort for me for some reason, so I use the box. Let us know how they turn out! And share the recipe. I might give it another shot.

    • BosGrl

      I love wontons. Maybe I’ll try them next weekend.

    • Taco … waffles?

      • They’re savory cornbread waffles with a bit of taco seasoning, that you top with regualr taco stuff…first time i’m making them so i will keep you posted

        • Old town Urbandale

          Sounds interesting. But wouldn’t using that batter to make savory cornbread pancakes result in something easier to wrap around the taco stuff?

          • Maybe it’s like a tostada, with waffle pockets.

    • Charon_69

      I’ve had an idea in my noodle for years, anybody want to run with it?
      ‘Wockets’ waffles pockets (replace taco shell with thin waffle, fill and $) think portable chicken and waffles
      And to go along with them, ‘Stuffles’- waffles stuffed with the ingredients you’d normally put on top that can be frozen like adult Eggos 😉

      • I need someone to drive the truck! I don’t have a lisence

        • Charon_69

          I’ve done a bunch of different ones for the family stuffed-western omelette style, bacon cheeseburger, apple pie, Greek etc

    • Zyxomma

      So, you’re not star baker this week.

      It’s too hot on the top floor of my tenement to turn on the convection oven for more than minutes at a time (I can make toast, but that requires turning the A/C to fan for the duration).

      My original recipe for vegan Vichyssoise uses the oven to slow-cook the leeks and potatoes before throwing them into the Vitamix with nut cream and thawed veggie stock. However, last summer I figured out how to do it all on the stovetop. My weekly CSA farm bag has both leeks and potatoes today, so one of my favorite soups will be making an appearance in the very near future.

  • Ω cynmac will never surrender

    OT – I am so excited! I have participated on mic.com forums, offering content from the rallies and protests here in Atlanta. Pictures and comments that have gotten published and they just sent me a t-shirt.
    Yeah, yeah. I know it’s not much, but dammit, I feel good about it.

  • Jenny

    You took off your layers in hot blistering sun?!?!? You’re doing it wrong.

    Love,
    a Mexican.

  • Ωbjectifier

    Needz moar pig castratin’.

  • Everrett Fanuelli

    Harvard, St. John’s and Yale? What an elitist! Why didn’t he just go to DeVry and ITT Tech like the rest of us?

  • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

    In other news, Glorious Leader Vova Putin kicks 400 million Americans and 2.3 billion tacos out of Moscow taxi.

    • SDGeoff3

      It’s about time.

  • Where are we playing, open-like tonight?

    Dems blast river closure aimed to protect Trump while golfing.

    Best quote: “The most polite alternative would be for Trump to recognize that he’s screwing up other people’s vacations and lives.”

    You’re cute, expecting the most polite alternative from anyone in this administration.

    • PersianOregano

      my favorite bit from a radio story on this topic was when what sounded to me like a middle-aged white lady (it takes one to know one) opined that it was ridiculous to ban kayakers from the river because a kayak makes a piss poor platform for an assassination with a rifle due to lack of stability. I thought “Damn she’s thought this one through!”

      • Or, has flipped a kayak at least once

      • artem1s

        Of course she’s thought it thru. A lot of us have gone places in our heads we never thought we’d get to in the last 6 months.

  • Here’s what would have made Sasse an honest man. His parents came to America as illegal immigrants. He got to tassle corn, and sweat in 3 digit temps in farm fields, and build all that character he’s so proud of. But he never did makr it to Harvard or Yale, just kept working in crappy low wage farm jobs. With gloves up to his shoulders. And now he’d be living in fear, avoiding ICE, and following the harvest. That would really build Sasse’s character. Unfortunately, he wouldn’t be a Senator, or have a book deal. Our loss…

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      I live in a part of California with a large Hispanic population. I do know of several children/grandchildren of migrant workers who have made it, some to Congress or state government. They did it with way fewer advantages in life than Ben Sasse. And thanks to a society that is even more hostile to immigrant workers than it used to be, it’s even harder for children of immigrants now. As 5$F said, Fuck you, Ben Sasse.

      • SDGeoff3

        We are privileged to have many rising young stars in our Hispanic community down here in San Diego. Finance, politics, education; you name it. And it’s making the area much more vibrant and exciting. I am getting so jazzed about the growing diversity here. The refugee community is being welcomed and nurtured. I also notice a growing number of small businesses owned or operated by many of our newcomers. It’s a great time to be here.

        • Komsumverweigerer Ron

          Toronto went through this a half century ago. Un til then it was Toronto the Good, grey and dull and something of a joke, until separatism became a Thing and all of a sudden immigrants were coming to Toronto instead of Montreal. Suddenly there’s new communities and neighbourhoods everywhere, and the old ones are revitalised. It’s far from perfect, but it’s still far better than that old city of limestone bank buildings and Sunday blue laws.

      • Yr. Gma

        Of course, there are also the descendants of the Mexicans who lived here first, long before California became a state in 1849.

  • tehbaddr

    I’d theoretically like to knock out his clean white toof caps with a boot strap!

    • BosGrl

      Right? He can just sit in his Senate office and think his deep thoughts about how the rest of us live and why we will never measure up.

      • tehbaddr

        Straight up, that’s the way they are!

      • OutOfOrbit

        HEET comin atcha this weak

  • Zyxomma

    Ben Sasse can kiss my ass,
    and I don’t want to get banhammered so I’ll leave the rest to your imagination (it was a variation on Jack Spratt).

    • SDGeoff3

      Set it to music.

  • akryan

    I always reffed soccer games. It was a great teenage job. You can basically work whenever you want to, you don’t have any asshole boss, and you’re outside running around. You can ref indoor in the winter. I don’t know what it pays now, but it was $25 a game to center and $15 to side 20 years ago. I could get two games a night 4 days a week and then another half dozen during weekend tournaments. I’d recommend reffing sports to any kid.

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      Was it a problem dealing with the parents, or did you not ref AYSO or youth games?

      • akryan

        It was never bad. People bitch about calls and non-calls like they do in every sport but I never had any crazy parents problems. The leagues start you small. When you’re 13 you get U-12 rec games. You don’t center comp games for a few years. By then you have a lot of experience. The only time I was sketched out was the first time I centered a men’s league game. They threw me in with no one on the sideline in a game between the city’s two big rival hispanic teams. I was way over my head and totally lost control of the game. It was scary. I ended up being escorted to my car by players from the winning team to protect me from players from the losing team. I later learned that I got the game because no one else would take it.

  • Reximus

    none of these idiots are actually cool, but

    https://twitter.com/TbBrame/status/891783268646830080

    • Reservoir Dogs, or GTFO!

      • Bad Tom

        Mr. Pink: Hey, why am I Mr. Pink?
        Joe: Because you’re a faggot, alright?
        Mr. Pink: Why can’t we pick our own colors?
        Joe: No way, no way. Tried it once, it doesn’t work. You get four guys all fighting over who’s gonna be Mr. Black, but they don’t know each other, so nobody wants to back down. No way. I pick. You’re Mr. Pink. Be thankful you’re not Mr. Yellow.
        Mr. Brown: Yeah, but Mr. Brown, that’s a little too close to Mr. Shit.
        Mr. Pink: Mr. Pink sounds like Mr. Pussy. How ’bout if I’m Mr. Purple? That sounds good to me. I’ll be Mr. Purple.
        Joe: You’re not Mr. Purple. Some guy on some other job is Mr. Purple. You’re Mr. PINK.
        Mr. White: Who cares what your name is?
        Mr. Pink: Yeah, that’s easy for your to say, you’re Mr. White. You have a cool-sounding name. Alright look, if it’s no big deal to be Mr. Pink, do you wanna trade?
        Joe: Hey! NOBODY’S trading with ANYBODY. This ain’t a goddamn, fucking city council meeting, you know? Now listen up, Mr. Pink. There’s two ways you can go on this job: my way or the highway. Now what’s it gonna be, Mr. Pink?
        Mr. Pink: Jesus Christ, Joe, fucking forget about it. It’s beneath me. I’m Mr. Pink. Let’s move on.
        Joe: I’ll move on when I feel like it… All you guys got the goddamn message?… I’m so goddamn mad, hollering at you guys I can hardly talk. Pssh. Let’s go to work.
        ——-
        Reservoir Dogs, directed by Quentin Tarantino

        • willi0000000

          Sir Pterry’s take on it was funnier!

          • Komsumverweigerer Ron

            Gods, yes, the Auditors arguing about colour names in ‘Thief of Time.’

    • Stulexington

      So Trump can’t count either?

    • tehbaddr

      The horror, the horror…

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      Get yourself measured for an industrial strength bra, girl. It’s better for your back, anyway. What is it with these women and dressing bizarrely or looking sloppy?

      • Yr. Gma

        She is always over the top with her “office tramp” look.

  • BillEGoatSmirk

    OT – Apparently, there are some pundits running around today who are opining that Trump is going to send Sessions over to Homeland Security so he can get a DOJ replacement that will fire Mueller. If he picks a replacement that is already Senate-confirmed (Rick Perry, OMG!) it appears that even Congress not going into recess could stop this maneuver…I hope I’m wrong.

    Wow. Donnie’s not this smart. This has Bannon written all over it.

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      Sessions would have to agree to go.

      • And he already has a sweet deal waiting for him back in Alabammy.

        • Bad Tom

          Dibs on his old Senate seat.

    • MilwaukeeKent

      He might actually face a genuine shit storm for that kind of move.

    • Ωbjectifier

      You would think the Attorney General should be, you know, an attorney.

    • II Gosala

      A person is confirmed for a particular job. So moving Sessions requires another hearing and another hearing for his successor.

      Unless things have changed since the 70s.

      • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

        Could be beltway pundit self wanking. Or another way of using surrogates to try to get Sessions to exit gracefully.

      • bupkus231

        There you go. The only thing I could figure those pundits are thinking is that, since Sessions just “passed” confirmation for AG, they might vote to waive new confirmation hearings ( Somehow, I was thinking this kinda happened with Roberts – but going from Associate Justice to Chief Justice isn’t quite as big a swing as going from AG to Sec’y of DHS – plis, I don’t think the Senate had yet completed vetting Roberts when Bush changed his nomination – let alone several months in between ).

        But, yeah, there woild definitely have to be hearings for whomever Rump nominates to replace Kelly AND Sessions – they’re not going to avoid any of this shit….

        • Zippy W Pinhead

          As I said on the other thread, there’s not a chance in hell that 50 GOP senators will stick their necks out for this, after Sessions lied to them last time and all the new evidence of his involvement has come to light. It would be an electoral death sentence to be on record as not just looking the other way, but actively participating in obstruction of justice.

          • bupkus231

            “…there’s not a chance in hell that 50 GOP senators will stick their necks out for this…”

            Yeah, that’s what I thought, too. That’s why I think whatever “pundits” ( like Dana Loesch, who’s the first name I saw associated with this bit ) are thinking, they’re certainly ignoring the actual Senators in the Senate. Sessions would never survive another confirmation hearing.

          • Zippy W Pinhead

            His only chance is if there’s some wriggle room on that confirmation. And that still doesn’t solve his bigger problem- getting someone else to agree to fire Mueller

        • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

          Roberts had not yet been confirmed when Rehnquist died. W pulled the nomination and resubmitted it for Chief Justice.

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        eggzactly- it’s not some sort of universal pass

    • Everrett Fanuelli

      What’s happening with the Graham/Booker bill preventing Trump from firing Mueller?

      • BillEGoatSmirk

        As far as I know, the bill isn’t even complete, never mind introduced. Let’s hope Graham, Booker & Blumenthal had a working weekend.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      I don’t think that’s true- a confirmation for one position isn’t some lifetime pass

      • Mike Steele

        We’ve been at Lawfare & Above the Law all day. Nothing is definitive. Seems that senate-confirmed folks might be interchangeable. Also, line of succession at DoJ either goes by their regs, or some OTHER set that gives POTUS to power to install his own pick. After reading their analyses, you’ll be even more uncertain.

        • Zippy W Pinhead

          I’m betting that even if there’s some grey area, nobody will go on record advocating for letting it happen- even Mitch would flinch at being that guy

          • Mike Steele

            Keep your money in your wallet, Zip. Since Ryan’s on tape acknowledging that Trump was a dirty traitor – last summer – and chose to ‘keep it in the family’, a safer bet is that he’d HELP Cheeto shut down Mueller. Hoping against reason you’re right, though.

          • Zippy W Pinhead

            I dunno- this one would happen in front of the whole world and the turtle burned a whole lotta capital on his erstwhile repeal bill. But the bigger issue is still who takes over at AG? Whether you fire the elf or just move him out of the way, the next acting AG succession is Rosenstein, Brand, Boente, Bruce, and Parker, unless he can pull something off with the Vacancies Reform Act. Lawfare blog seems to think that is doubtful, though unresolved. I can’t see either Rosenstein or Brand playing the Bork role, knowing it’s the end of their reputations and likely their careers.

          • Mike Steele

            From your keyboard to Dog’s ears.

          • Zippy W Pinhead

            I hope so- the main thing in our favor is that it would represent a yoooge swing of power to the executive, away from the senate, if they allow the vacancies act to override the 508 established process- especially since it doesn’t relate to death, or unable to fulfill the duties but is rather a case of the POTUS firing someone then using the VRA as a way of subverting oversight. I just don’t see them giving up all that power- certainly not to the boy king. I’m betting we’d see a lawsuit from some Senator on the grounds of harm from being denied their constitutional right to advise and consent

          • BillEGoatSmirk

            And #4 Boente is also concurrently the US Attorney for EDVA which had a grand jury convened that subpoenaed all of Mike Flynn’s business associates’ records. So it seems unlikely that he’d fire Mueller….I seem to recall that President Obama did some finagling by putting Boente in this dual position. Part of the trail of breadcrumbs he left with the intelligence community. Will have to go back and check though…

      • proudgrampa

        Yeah. At the cabinet level, there are no “lateral transfers.”

    • Reximus

      Trump wants ‘Judge’ Janine Pirro, anyhow

      • Mike Steele

        True dat! Entire discussion, apparently, took place w/the Faux crew that came for dinner last week.

  • buzz

    I’d be willing to bet that sASSe’s parent’s signed him up for that job to teach him “responsibility”. Dude you worked a month, what about the people that do this for years? The people that clean up after people in nursing homes, pick the fruit that you buy at your fancy grocery store, that clean your office after you leave at night. You know nothing and your daughter probably learned just about as much as you did, which is nothing. Unless of course she decide to be a large animal vet, in which case kudos to the kid, you rock. Shut up, stop writing and retire – surely you’ve saved enough to cover the next 50 years.

    • Zyxomma

      According to info available online, all three of his kids are homeschooled, so who knows WTF they know.

      One of the smartest kids (now in college) I’ve ever known was mostly homeschooled, but her mama went to MIT and got together with other brilliant parents to form a homeschooling network. My friend taught the kids math; other parent taught their specialties. I doubt Sasse’s kids have any teacher apart from his wife.

      • buzz

        Now I really feel sorry for his children.

        • Old town Urbandale

          A former classmate home schooled their quiver full, and I’m sure they had plenty of book learning. But the kids were so socially isolated that when the oldest got his first job at a fast food place, he didn’t last a day because he had no skills in dealing with the outside world.

  • Wow. Heard him give a somewhat different version of making teens more responsible on NPR a few months ago. He seemed pretty reasonable, but he understood who his audience was. He might give an interview like a moderate, but his votes have all been right in sync with the trump/bannon/pence regime

    • BrendaKay

      Ah, good, I’m not the only one who mistakenly thought he was decent. But it’s the votes that show their true colors, isn’t it.

    • OrG

      That makes him more dangerous.

    • lastroth

      It’ the old caveat emptor, or watch what they do and not what they say.

  • Everrett Fanuelli

    To be honest, teens are pretty shitty

    • H0mer0

      I like my teenagers. Sure, their bathroom smells like a public latrine and their rooms smell like feet, and I end up being the one to mow the lawn, but it’s hard enough to be a teenager with the hormones and the social pressures ‘n stuff.

  • BrendaKay

    Awesome post! Love it! You tell him, 5$F!!

    • tehbaddr

      Post? There’s a post, oh yeah about that shit stain BEN SASSE!

  • mancityRed6
    • Jennifer R

      Called liquid courage for a reason.

  • Jay Hansen

    If kids today are lazy it just might be because they DO know the value of hard work. You do the hard work and your boss reaps the value. It’s not rocket science, but I wish I had figured it out at an earlier age. God bless today’s kids.

    • Bird Song

      I totally agree. Wasted most of my life doing mind breaking, and back breaking work for horrible people for low wages. If I had to do it all over again, I would never work for anyone but myself.

      • Jay Hansen

        What we need to do is see that there are more worker owned cooperatives. Then the maximum number of folks could be working cooperatively for themselves.

        • Komsumverweigerer Ron
        • Bird Song

          Yes. Great idea. I once asked a college student, who had large, beautiful tattoos on his arms, if he considered the real possibility that he would be unable to get a good job with a corporation because of his tattoos. He replied, “I never intend to work for a corporation, unless it’s my own.”

    • Doug Langley

      * * * * THIS * * * *

    • Bird Song
  • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

    Never forget, Ivanka’s lemonade stand (with bonus grifting at the very end):

    “When Ivanka was a kid, she got frustrated because she couldn’t set up a lemonade stand in Trump Tower. “We had no such advantages,” she writes, meaning, in this case, an ordinary home on an ordinary street. She and her brothers finally tried to sell lemonade at their summer place in Connecticut, but their neighborhood was so ritzy that there was no foot traffic. “As good fortune would have it, we had a bodyguard that summer,” she writes. They persuaded their bodyguard to buy lemonade, and then their driver, and then the maids, who “dug deep for their spare change.” The lesson, she says, is that the kids “made the best of a bad situation.” In another early business story, she and her brothers made fake Native American arrowheads, buried them in the woods, dug them up while playing with their friends, and sold the arrowheads to their friends for five dollars each.”

    http://www.newyorker.com/books/second-read/ivanka-trumps-terrible-book-helps-explain-the-trump-family-ethos

    • Raised a socipath, but still no sympathy for the plastic grifter or her lazy ass brothers

    • Everrett Fanuelli

      Most of the time though, they were playing doctor with Don Jr. and Don Sr. as the doctors and Ivanka as the patient

      • bupkus231

        Where was Eric? Torturing small mammals?

    • Alex Grey

      Must have been nice to have under paid staff that you could “convince” to buy your lemonade.

    • TJ Barke

      So they forced the help to buy products they didn’t really want? And also committed fraud?

      • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

        at a young age apparently, that story gets worse IIRC, just google “ivanka trump” and
        “lemonade stand”

        • TJ Barke

          They defrauded their friends as children, now they’re defrauding America as adults…

          • Komsumverweigerer Ron

            Who could have seen THAT coming?

      • OrG

        USA! USA!

      • H0mer0

        you make it sound like a bad thing. They call it being entrepreneurs.

    • MilwaukeeKent

      Nothing like that good ol’ American grifter character building!

    • Everrett Fanuelli

      I’m pretty sure Ivanka ran a private “lemonade” stand with her dad as the only customer.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      C’mon kids, learn to extort the hired help out of their meager wages like we did!

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      Holy shit, how clueless do you have to be?

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        Just like the owner of the company’s child always manages to sell all those candy bars to all the employees- who wants to be on record telling daddy’s little angel “No”?

        • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

          eggzactly!

          • Zippy W Pinhead

            at least where I’ve always worked, the parent knows they’re calling in a favor and knows they now owe one, plus the same rule holds for everyone’s kid- you pony up for that cheese collection or fruitcake or whatever for their kid and they’ll pony up for your kid’s crap for sale that nobody wants.

          • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

            i’m not a parent, so that shit always kinda annoyed me.

            But if it’s name brand chocolate (like at the short lived legal job), it’s fine. Those crummy bars made for H.S. sales and raffle tickets and sponsoring somebody’s walk are right out.

          • Zippy W Pinhead

            I’m not either, but I understand it’s a donation to some sort of scouting or after school sports or club or whatever, so I don’t mind- plus, being childless I get cut slack some other way as a quick and of thank you

          • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

            that’s fair, i was being mean. I guess a buck is fine. Although one does wonder why school sports need private money. Then again, this is texas so it’s football or GTFO.

          • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

            That’s what I always did. It’s the Rule of Recriprocal Buying Worthless Overpriced Fundraiser Crap
            The season usually runs late September through February, when Girl Scout Cookies wind down.

          • Latverian Diplomat

            And that circle of extortion is how high school bands get new uniforms.

          • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

            lol.

          • Zippy W Pinhead

            which is why we all go along with it

        • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

          p.s. Especially a boss as nutz as Trump.

    • Brb. Just can’t even.

    • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

      “The lesson, she says, is that the kids “made the best of a bad situation.””

      I JUST realized, they made the best of it – but hurting other people…the Trump way.

    • Ωbjectifier

      In another early business story, she and her brothers made fake Native American arrowheads, buried them in the woods, dug them up while playing with their friends, and sold the arrowheads to their friends for five dollars each.”

      The grifting started early.

    • buzz

      My heart bleeds for these poor unfortunates, what if they hadn’t had a bodyguard, driver and maids.
      Truth be told, I do stop and buy lemonade from kids that have set up stands – they really make my day.

      • SDGeoff3

        I never miss one. And if they have cookies, watch out.

        • Zippy W Pinhead

          those girl scouts are evil- costs me $20 every time I see them outside the store

          • SDGeoff3

            Only $20? Did they run out of Thin Mints?

          • Zippy W Pinhead

            When you see them every couple days, it adds up, lol

          • Komsumverweigerer Ron

            Every couple of days? We get ONE day a year to get cookies. Fortunately for my pancreas we don’t get the really good cookies Up Here or else I’d do something unwise.

    • SDGeoff3

      This. This is what makes me want to….aaaargh!

    • gallbladder

      “As good fortune would have it, we had a bodyguard that summer,”

      Yeah, like every other all-American kid. Get the fuck outta here.

    • bupkus231

      What a bunch of horseshit. I ain’t talking about Ivanka, I’m talking about the asshole “New Yorker” writer and editors that published this shit. Maube the rest of the piece is better – but this fawning manure should never have seen the light of day.

      An that last bit, about the arrowheads, is clearly fraud, and it’s being celebrated?

      • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

        i think the whole thing is pretty critical, but I was just looking for the one bit I remembered.

        Ivanka’s “book” was heavily criticized when it came out.

        • bupkus231

          Is that an excerpt from her book-shaped thing? I thought it was some kinda of interview.

          Okay – I followed your link enough to see it’s part of a “book review”. I guess I “forgive” the “New Yorker” writers and editors, altho’ I question the decision to even review her “book”. Like it or not, she’s a “public figure”, so a “book review” isn’t so outre.

          I suppose, had I encountered the piece on my own, I would have just skipped it, tho’. I get enough horseshit from the news anyway.

          • Ω cynmac will never surrender

            The interviews on her book tour were really sad. Not “architected” well at all.

          • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

            well, the thing about the book (apparently) was it was just soooo tone deaf…”i’m rich and wealthy and have a work/life balance and a great life AND YOU CAN TOO!”

    • jesterpunk

      So they made the staff they where paying buy stuff from them and the staff could barely afford it so they had to dig out change to avoid being fired? Their other story is how they scammed their so called friends?

      • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

        crazy innit?

    • hudson srinivasan

      so there were early signs of this behavior?

      • Ω cynmac will never surrender

        From the cradle, man. From birth.

    • Latverian Diplomat

      Headlines from the future…Archaeologist dismiss recent arrowhead finds…”Lousy workmanship clearly points to 20th century fakes”, Trump family denies knowledge, though they admit that “Eric forgets where he buries things sometimes.”

  • Kiri the Unicorn
  • spangled
  • Ω cynmac will never surrender

    OT – Sunday’s cheesy movie – Love Bites, from 1993 where Adam Ant plays a 19th century vampire transported to the then present day. It’s on COMET.

  • TX Dept. of Space Tacos
    • BUT THEY DIDN’T HAVE 51 VOTES! THEY DIDN’T! WHAT ARE YOU EVEN FUCKING TALKING ABOUT?!?!!?11/??!!?!

      • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

        IKR?

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      I think they must’ve about had it with his cheerleading and helpful advice
      “I need a win, and I don’t care who you hurt or how stupid you look. Trumpee wanna win!!!!!!””

      • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

        “helpful” and “advice.”

        FWIW, he tweeted about the 50 votes thing like 4 times yesterday and that’s not much of an exaggeration.

        • Bad Tom

          Far thinking strategy, or plain stupidity?
          Hard to tell with Trump.

          • WomanInThePersistence

            Not really. Pro tip – it’s not the former.

          • Bad Tom

            True. When has Trump display thinking ever?

    • mackafritz

      The world doesn’t give a damn. They have their own issues to worry about.

    • mackafritz

      They only got 49 votes last time.

    • gallbladder

      Indeed, the world is watching and laughing its fucking ass off ya…but it’s a terrified, nervous laughter.

    • Reximus
    • Alex Grey

      How many people does he think are awake to listen to him at 4:37 AM?

    • BMW

      Putting aside his misunderstanding of the vote count for a moment, I’d like to point out the “buy insurance across state lines” thing they keep pushing is fucking dumb.

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        Considering that insurance companies are ill equipped to run out of state networks

      • Latverian Diplomat

        It’s a way to avoid state regulation…they want a race to the bottom where one state becomes “the best” place to write policies from…like South Dakota for Credit Cards, or Delaware for Corporate Charters.

    • Yr. Gma

      This fucker never stops.

    • Ωbjectifier

      49<51

      • WomanInThePersistence

        Math is hard!

  • James

    Ah, Ben Sasse, the better of my two senators (the other is Deb Fischer).

    He would be the guy who back in the halcyon days of Feb 2016 wrote a Facebook post (reprinted in every newspaper in the state) saying he could never support Donald Trump for President. (When he came to my county for a speech he caught a lot of crap from the locals for that letter.)

    Now: Falls in line, just like every other conservative. “I got mine, screw you.”

    • mackafritz

      All hat, no cattle.

      • James

        I have a hat but don’t own any cattle. I also didn’t have the benefit of college, a wealthy family, &c. I’m just one of those people Mr. Sasse would prefer didn’t exist.

  • *looks at clock* So, I’ll have to start avoiding the internet in two hours.

    Stupid people on the East Coast, watching GoT early.

  • Ω cynmac will never surrender

    More on the GOP implosion. Pop that popcorn, people.
    Republicans terrified that trump will turn his rabid base against the party
    DUH!
    http://www.rawstory.com/2017/07/republicans-terrified-that-trump-will-turn-his-rabid-base-against-the-party/

    • mackafritz

      I think rabid is an accurate description of his base.

    • OrG

      I didn’t think those leopards would eat MY FACE!

    • James

      Well, we’ve heard many times of the imminent doom of the GOP. I am withholding my popcorn until I see they’ve already gone the way of the Whig Party (even then I might have to wait a hundred years first).

      • Ω cynmac will never surrender

        Actually, the implosion is not a sudden explosion. It’s more like them eating their dead, slowly. With decomposition. It’s a process that is getting interesting to watch.

        • James

          There seem to be many more to join in the fun though. Ben Sasse wasn’t born as a Republican, someone had to miseducate him into that.

    • Résistance Land Shark Ω
    • See also: Bernie and the Bots.

    • buzz

      Just not sure of the numbers for Trump’s rabid followers. Thinking this might just splinter the GOP enough to cause the implosion or start a third party that pulls votes from the GOP.

    • jesterpunk
    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      That’s a miscalculation. Out of that 35%, there have to be some percentage that are sticking with Trump because he’s a Republican. They might be ok with another Republican.
      And those evangelicals would probably way rather have Mike Pence than Trump and his douchebro New Yorker friends.

    • Latverian Diplomat

      “Wait, who’s that hoisting us…why, it’s our own petard!”
      — The GOP

  • (((fka_donnie_d)))

    OT: I can haz grounds for divorce?

    http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2017/07/30/anthony-scaramuccis-congratulated-estranged-wife-birth-child/

    I think we can no longer deny that we are ruled by lizard people.

    • buzz

      Well, what a lucky kid. I’m sure he will have a wonderful relationship with his “father”.

      • (((fka_donnie_d)))

        Search your feelings. You know it to be true.

  • Since the GOP entire seem to be running their Asshole Pumps at Max Load, one would think we’d see some gasket Fails soon.

    • James

      I’d rather not see that, thanks. I also want to bee well outside the blast radius.

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      New phrase: “Assket Fails”.

      Saw that the other night with the health scare thing.

  • Dick St. Dipshit
  • Latverian Diplomat

    “…and I hated that corn detasseling job so much, I vowed to have my revenge by becoming a force for evil for the rest of my life. It was the beginning of my long march to becoming a Republican Senator.”
    — Ben Sasse’s subconscious

    • James

      Sen. Sasse says he got a rash from corn detasseling? I’ve done plenty of that and never got a rash (must be because I am a tough liberal) . . . perhaps that’s why he decided that he couldn’t hack it as a Nebraskan farmer and decided that opposing health insurance (which would have paid for that rash) was a better idea?

    • therblig

      “…but i wear shoes with tassels to remind me to always step on the hopes and dreams of those less fortunate than myself.”

  • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

    heh, this is for Doug (and vaguely on topic);

    Meg Barthel, the lead girls’ counselor at Camp Echo, carries a device with Wi-Fi around camp. “I have to respond to the mothers who are used to this constant communication with their daughters,” she says. How many messages a day? “Up to 100.”

    Hence, the phones buried in luggage, mailed to campers, or even, he says, stitched into a stuffed animal.

    http://www.npr.org/sections/ed/2017/07/24/533059271/are-helicopter-parents-ruining-summer-camp?utm_campaign=storyshare&utm_source=facebook.com&utm_medium=social

    When I went to christian camp (ugh, i wasn’t a radical atheist then, I just put up with christian songs in the evening), i didn’t see my parents for a week or two. It hink they were fine with that.

    • Latverian Diplomat

      Teachers have to deal with cell phones in the classroom because parents think their little angels just have to have them in case of emergency. It’s a huge temptation for the kids, and a constant discipline problem.

      • Ω cynmac will never surrender

        And cheating.

        • Komsumverweigerer Ron

          ‘Can I phone a friend?’

      • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

        i can’t imagine.

        When I was in high school, having pagers was verboten. In AP calculus the smart kids would program their phones with games and funny pictures.

        Can’t imagine today. I’m waiting for the first special snowflake to get called on and then get a call, and give the teacher the “one second, i’m on the phone” gesture.

        I think my head would explode if i was that teacher.

        • Latverian Diplomat

          “Surreptitious” texting is more of a problem than calls actually…there’s a constant potential for distraction…

          • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

            true – i know in my community college classes people are often on their fones.

            I can’t blame them, it LOOKS like i’m taking notes on my laptop, but i’m often ALSO browsing the internet.

    • Doug Langley

      Heh. I had to get my brand new phone (which I could BARELY afford) because of my job. Ever since we got separated on a hike, boss chewed me out for not having phone with me, so I went straight to Verizon and started the pain. As for the kids, it’s pretty much:
      When is mommy coming for me?”
      “Why don’t you call her up and find out?”
      “I just did, she’s in traffic and doesn’t know.”

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      Several years ago, I was driving on the fwy, enjoying some me time, when my daughter called me on a cell phone that one of her Valley Girl friends had smuggled to Girl Scout summer camp. I miss youuuuuu mommy. It’s dirty here. And there’s no curling irons….
      The counselors hadn’t gotten smart to the WiFi yet.
      They got to ride horses all day. At her age, I would’ve called that Paradise.

      • Ω cynmac will never surrender

        My daughter knew better than to whine to me. She actually loved camp and even went when several times for the Work Camp at the end of season to help close up.

    • James

      No problem with that here (no cell service). Summer camps here are many miles from pesky things like “Internet” or “cell service” or “liberals.”

    • Rick Hill

      We went to summer camp, I think someone had to remind my Mom that she had kids, come time to go home.

      • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

        lol.

  • House0fTheBlueLights

    Preach it, Sister

  • WomanInThePersistence

    So is this the de facto open thread? Or will we get an official one soon? I don’t cope well with uncertainly.

    • Jennifer R

      You and me both.

    • Fivedollarfeminist

      My sources say YES, this is it.

      • puredog

        My sources say, sheeyit, ain’t nuthin’ else comin’ down the pike, this gotz to be it.

      • WomanInThePersistence

        Thank you. Nice article, btw.

        • Fivedollarfeminist

          🙏🏻

      • Doug Langley

        My source says Reply hazy try again.

      • bupkus231

        But, are they “anonymous sources”? Or “sources who did not wish to be named, since they weren’t authorized to speak on the matter”?

        • SnarkON

          No sources said it because Reince Prebus has been fired, ending the anonymous leaks.

    • Komsumverweigerer Ron

      Then you probably don’t want this box. It might have a live cat in it. Or not.

  • Steve Cole

    I have a suggestion to build character for your kids, Mr. Republican. You will love it. It involves membership at an exclusive club that offers international travel w/opportunities to demonstrate leadership while building an impressive resume which ensures attention on those complicated college applications. Your kids can enlist in the US military branch of their choice and do their time. Don’t thank me. Thank you!

    • James

      I did that. (That might explain why there are more vets who are Democrats in Congress that Republicans – the military builds character.)

      • Steve Cole

        And “thank you for your service” (I never know how to respond to this).

        • OrG

          I wasn’t in the military,but someone(can’t remember who) told me instead of “Thank you for your service”,”Welcome home” was much better.

          • Steve Cole

            One of the best ad hoc performance art pieces I have ever seen was perhaps half a dozen grunts taking turns at saying “thank you for your service” then “no, thank YOU for YOUR service”. Went on for a good 15 minutes until someone begged them to stop. Slow clap.

          • H0mer0

            did it involve the “Goofy Gophers”?

            https://youtu.be/rSTBqim2Vg4

        • James

          I usually respond along the lines of “thank you for allowing me to serve.” (It sometimes comes up in the context of me being a disabled veteran.)

          Where I have trouble is when someone recognises what the Gold Star Family plates mean on my car and thank me for my father’s service. (He was killed when I was a child.) Usually it’s pretty awkward.

          Last week a person from out-of-state (everyone here knows who the hippie liberal socialist is) verbally attacked me for having Gold Star Family plates (combination of my uncomfortable – for him – olive-toned skin, long hair, &c). He actually demanded to know why “a foreigner deserved Gold Star Family plates.” (I was born in Michigan.)

          I couldn’t wait to get away from that guy fast enough; I relayed the story to the state Gold Star Mothers president and she was dumbfounded someone would say that.

          • Steve Cole

            I am also dumbfounded, but not surprised. Trumpolini sets a fine example. I am a (very) olds but I still run full marathons and I have extremely long hair. People are shocked to learn I am retired military, and I wish we made fewer veterans.

          • James

            Hear hear on the “make fewer veterans” part (especially disabled ones). As for the fellow who verbally attacked me, he took down my license plate number (not hard since it’s two digits) and said he would report me to the state for “stolen valour.”

            I’m guessing that was mostly intended as intimidation and he has no such intent. Anyway, the state required documentation from the military before they would issue plates anyway, so I presume the DMV would blow it off.

          • Komsumverweigerer Ron

            Plus unless you’re a cop it’s usually next to impossible to get information on someone else through the DMV.

          • WomanInThePersistence

            That’s horrid. Some people are 24 carat assholes. I’m sorry you had to deal with one.

          • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

            i usually go with just “thank you”. And every time I do, the vet tells me, “I was just doing my job.”

          • BosGrl

            When I asked a vet here (I can’t remember who) if they want to be thanked, they said no. I imagine the best way to thank our vets would be to make sure they had food, housing and health care.

          • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

            that sounds like ShivasKeeper.

          • BosGrl

            It probably was.

          • sarafina

            In a perfect world … or a least one without the orange shitgibbon.

          • H0mer0

            my service in the military had to do with avoiding the banks (and wearing the sexy uniforms/sn.) The people in uniform and most of the civilians I worked with were great (occasionally incompetents were protected.)

          • BosGrl

            What the hell.

          • Komsumverweigerer Ron

            Given how Two Scoops was shitting on one Gold Star mother earlier, she shouldn’t have been surprised.

  • Jennifer R

    So I got my brain working enough to add a feature this morning to my interactive fiction I am working on. Just a simple little bit (not even well optimized I am sure I can be addressing the stat getting exp dynamically instead of a series of if statements.) to add experience gain to skill checks. Attempt a skill check get an experience point for the relevant stat. Get five points and the stat goes up by 1, making future skill checks with that stat easier.

    Of course a mistake with the number of equal signs in a statement caused an hour of emotional breakdown because my brain never quite runs right even when it’s working.

    • WomanInThePersistence

      *smiles. nods, in an encouraging manner*

      • Jennifer R

        Just a simple feature that caused more duress adding than it should have.

        • WomanInThePersistence

          I really am amazed by your talent. And persistence.

          • Jennifer R

            Thank you. I wish I could get work done more than once in a blue moon.

          • WomanInThePersistence

            That’s more often than I do.

          • Jennifer R

            I mean like, I messed up and had = when I needed == and that tiny error caused well over an hour of really bad brainthings. Simple mistake I have made a ton of times. Sometimes it just breaks my brain and I curl up and cry because everything feels like it’s crumbling apart because tiny stupid thing I damn well know better than happens again.

          • Zyxomma

            Internet hugs. Deep, strong, heartfelt internet hugs.

          • WomanInThePersistence

            Well, if it’s any comfort, you should also remind yourself that you felt awful and cried, and then. Went. Back. And. Fixed. It. That shows that you are a strong person, because a lot of us would just walk away. Also – everybody fucks up sometimes. Every single human being on the planet. It’s how you deal with that that matters. You. Went. Back. And. Fixed. It.

          • Jennifer R

            You really are fantastic <3

          • Maxine Headroom

            That happened to me so much in my comp sci courses in college! I became a huge fan of rubber duck debugging ( https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rubber_duck_debugging ) because when I found the line where what I expected to happen and the actual result didn’t match, it felt like an A-HA! moment instead of something to kick myself over. YMMV of course. 💜

          • Jennifer R

            At this point anything. Maybe forcing myself to work on it often enough that I don’t spend the first five minutes remembering how to compile new builds would help too.

          • HooverVilles

            Agree!

        • Komsumverweigerer Ron

          You must know the rule: the first 90% of any project consumes 90% of the time allotted. The remaining 10% takes another 90% of the time allotted.

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      I always wanted to do stuff like that. I am interested in so damn many things that I have to be extremely careful about what I want to get started in. I wish I didn’t have to sleep.

      • Jennifer R

        I wanted to tell a story, and simply put no one else is gonna just up and do part of the work for me. It’s helpful enough in that sometimes it helps me deal with hallucinations and depression.

  • buzz

    Time for the Great British Baking show…..polite people baking things that I will never make :)

    • BosGrl

      I love this show so much I am watching this episode for the second time.

      • buzz

        No spoilers, I missed the first airing.

        • BosGrl

          I am a spoiler-free person.

          • James

            You don’t have one of those airfoils bolted to your back like a sports car?

          • BosGrl

            It makes it SO hard to wash my hair otherwise!

    • WomanInThePersistence

      I love that show!

      ETA- where are you watching it? I maxed out the Netflix.

      • hudson srinivasan

        ^^^ her. her. she loves this show.

      • buzz

        Minnesota – PBS – no cable.

        • WomanInThePersistence

          Damn. And thank you.

    • hudson srinivasan

      hang on. y’all need to form a club. there is atleast one more person here who is a great fan of this show. can’t recollect the name. keep up posting about it, you’ll catch her.

      • Zyxomma

        I’m a big fan, too, which is surprising because I cannot and will not eat eggs or dairy, which figure into many of the recipes. As I watch, I figure out how to veganize the good recipes, while getting slightly nauseated from even the thought of buttercream frosting. And if I believed in the devil, I’d say that white chocolate is from hell.

        • Parakeetist

          I like that show, and I don’t cook. :)

      • DainBramage

        I’m a fan too. I’ve even made Mary Berry’s gluten free, apple and almond cake and it was delicious. Oh, I think that was from the American version of the show.

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      Kind of like SNL version, too
      https://youtu.be/ve68mGiR_cU

  • OT – Now watching Gettysburg. Damned good movie. Now I want to do 28mm Union Cavalry, like General Buford on Day 1. Perry Miniatures make superb plastic cavalry, and dismounted Union cav and horseholders.

    • Latverian Diplomat

      It’s pretty good. I particularly like the parts with Jeff Daniels as Joshua Chamberlain.

      • I do too, Daniels was excellent. I think the movie overstates the situation at Little Round Top somewhat, but 20th Maine and Chamberlain did very well indeed.

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      Sam Elliot has a small role that I liked. Ken Burns who did the classic PBS Civil War series, also has a cameo role.

      • Sam Elliot played General Buford. He was in the right place, at the right time, and savvy enough to use his Cav to make a real difference.

        • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

          Actually, had it not been for his quick thinking, the outcome could have been very different. He bought the Union Army some time.

    • Jennifer R

      I am buying a can of primer to do my Dark Souls with after the next trans pool party (they have a space and cardboard for me to work at they said) cause of you. <3

      • <3 You can do it. :) I think those beautiful minis will bring out your best.

        I've been working on a German Paratrooper officer for Dust 1947 today.

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      I wish I could get good at painting miniatures. I was sort of okay at it, but I’m so damned critical of my own work that I gave up. I mean, I can write an operating system kernel in assembly language and have it working with almost no debugging, but things like painting miniatures make me feel like an utter failure in life. Yeah, it’s unreasonable, but well, there you go.

      • What was the painting issue? If you can do neat base coats, that’s most of it. Have you tried the new “magic” washes from GW or Army Painter?

        • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

          Haven’t tried the new washes, I saw your work the other night with the flame thrower guy and figured that I need to build up some more gumption before embarking on another potential exersize in self-humiliation. Good work there, by the way.

          • Thank you. :) I have learned a lot from youTube tutorials, LesterBursley, GirlPainting, Games Workshop, and some from Beasts of War can really help.

          • Komsumverweigerer Ron

            Video is the next best thing to watching someone do it in person. Reading instructions never does it for me.

          • White Dwrf magazine had tutorials I never understood, but watching Lester Bursley demonstrate a Hardline highlight made it easy to grasp.

          • Komsumverweigerer Ron

            I’m gonna wanna have a look at those some time. When I’m not doing ten other things.

          • It’ll be worth your time. :)

            I love tyhe magazine. The Firefly article shoes how to make the Tamiya 1/48 Firefly 1 into a Vc, which is what I want. :)

          • Komsumverweigerer Ron

            Yay!

          • ~hugs~ There are other good articles as well, I’ve always liked Military Modeler.

          • Komsumverweigerer Ron

            I had never seen it until I happened across it at the toy show. The work in it is impressive as hell. Some of those pics looked like the real thing until I took a closer look. WAY beyond my skill set.

          • A lot of the metal figurines are way beyond my skill level as well. The Firefly I think I can reach.

            They called them that because the 17 Pounder cannon was never intented for a tank, and it “Flashed” when it fired. Firefly crew were known for having no facial hair. Nor eyebrows. xD

  • BosGrl

    I just thought of something else: When rich, privileged people make a mistake financially, they just stand up and brush themselves off. They might take a hit to their ego, but they will still have a car, a house, food for their kids. Banks will still loan to them. Credit doesn’t matter for them. When we make a mistake, it takes 7 years until we can try again. Credit is how this country moves and if you don’t have any to begin with, or you mess up, you’re screwed.

    • Major_Major_Major

      Sad, but true.

    • hudson srinivasan

      to paraphrase, why don’t we all ask our parents or something?

    • Ω cynmac will never surrender

      Lots of people operate with cash, like I started to do in 2011. Hairdressers, barbers, etc… A lot of people can find a Lease/Purchase for a house. There are very active resale markets on FB for even little things. My favorite trick is to buy prepaid cards at the grocery store for my shopping and max out my loyalty points for gas and other things. You can learn to navigate the underground. Many people became masters during the Great Recession and will never go back.

      • Jennifer R

        I never had a credit card, and I doubt I will any time soon.

        • Ω cynmac will never surrender

          Oh man. I was at Old Navy with gift cards after my birthday, $100 from the BF and $25 of my own and I waited for a sale. The clerk was heavy selling the credit card and I was nice to start but after the third time, and I am nice until the third time, I went off. “I know that they probably incent you to push the cards, but I have told you twice that I don’t want one. I. Don’t. Give. A. Shit. No”. The other clerk on the next register was cracking up silently. Turns out that he was ringing up a friend of mine and she was like “Gurl!”.

          • Jennifer R

            I know working retail I have been told to only accept the third no.

          • Ω cynmac will never surrender

            That sux. She said Old Navy didn’t have that rule and it had never happened to me there before. Maybe she had old habits.

          • Jennifer R

            Yeah, I hated having to do push sales. Fucking sucked.

          • Komsumverweigerer Ron

            I took one job doing phone support, but they insisted that after fighting for an hour to keep the pissed-off customer from cancelling their account, I wasn’t about to try selling them anything else.

          • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

            So, does saying “No, no, and fucking no!” work the first time? I’ll start doing that, if it does. ETA: I would feel bad saying that to you, though.

          • Jennifer R

            Sometimes actually it does.

          • Catstro

            When I was working retail, the only incentive you got for pushing the credit card was the reward of not getting written up for not pushing the credit card.

          • Kathleenddavis

            Google is paying 97$ per hour! Work for few hours and have longer with friends & family! !ae230d:
            On tuesday I got a great new Land Rover Range Rover from having earned $8752 this last four weeks.. Its the most-financialy rewarding I’ve had.. It sounds unbelievable but you wont forgive yourself if you don’t check it
            !ae230d:
            ➽➽
            ➽➽;➽➽ http://GoogleFinancialJobsCash510TopBrightPay$97Hour ★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★:::::!ae230l..,.

          • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

            I got that shit every time I went to Home Despot to get supplies for my woodworking. “No, I do not want your fucking credit card, I am allergic to your fucking credit card, do you want to pay for my next Epi Pen, ambulance, and hospital visit if I have an allergy attack the very next time you mention your fucking credit card?!?! {{{gasp, gasp, puff inhaler}}}”, and they look at me like I spat on the Pope.

            I go to their competition as much as possible these days.

          • Ω cynmac will never surrender

            Ace Hardware. We have two within 5 miles of me.

          • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

            Absotively! Got one about two miles from here.

        • James

          I don’t either. (Many people around here don’t even take credit.) We paid for our house and our (then) new car with saved money. (We ate a lot of lentils, Navy beans, and ramen in the meantime.)

        • h4rr4r

          So you are ok with giving up 1.5% on everything you buy?

          I buy the same amount of things, I pay it off every payday and get to keep 1.5% of what I spend.

          • Jennifer R

            Cool Story Bro? I don’t get offered cards with benefits I get offered cards with penalties.

          • h4rr4r

            There are rewards cards for people with bad credit. Unsecured even.

          • Jennifer R

            Because I am poor.

          • h4rr4r

            Sounds expensive.

          • Jennifer R

            Real Talk Bonus Round: Most of my expenditure is via rent. If I use Echeck I get no additional fees, but if I had a credit card echeck wouldn’t give me any cash back. Just pay with Credit for that sweet 5 dollars back? Sure just pay that 30 dollar convenience charge for using credit.

          • h4rr4r

            Well yes, you don’t use it in that case. I am suggesting for groceries and the like.

          • Jennifer R

            At that point I am risking running a balance for like, a dollar a month in rewards?

          • h4rr4r

            Why would you risk anything?
            You only spend money you have, you can pay it same day if you want.

            1% back, so depends on what you spend. Free money is free money. I would not turn down an extra dollar a month. Besides which it would help you next time you needed a car loan.

          • Jennifer R

            Because it’s a credit card and they have a financial incentive to have you spend more than you have?
            I get that you think you are helping, but you really don’t get what living on a fixed income is like.

          • h4rr4r

            You think they are going to make you spend more money?
            No, I really don’t. I am totally willing to admit that. To my mind when you have less money every little bit counts more.

          • Jennifer R

            Because having my card bounce is better than taking credit? Like if I spend a cent more than I get in a month that is a balance that carries over.

          • h4rr4r

            For me it would depend on what it is.

            I have been pretty poor, collecting cans to buy food, being able to borrow $5 would have been nice. I have relatives that are poor enough that they rent to own major purchases, the rates they pay exceed what any credit card can charge.

          • Jennifer R

            893 a month actually precludes pretty much every rent to own setup for everything.
            I would be on the streets if it weren’t for the honestly inhuman levels of luck I exude at pretty much every second of my life.

          • h4rr4r

            That is close to my cans for food days and that was a while ago so add in inflation and dammit that sucks.

          • Jennifer R

            It could be worse. I have safety nets available to me if the GOP get their way that most people don’t.

          • Jennifer R

            Really. A Car Loan? What kinda dream world are you living in where I can even begin explaining what is wrong with that.

          • h4rr4r

            I thought you were the one who mentioned that earlier.

          • Jennifer R

            Nope.

          • h4rr4r

            My mistake.

      • BosGrl

        How do you buy a house without involving a bank? My ex did that Carlton Sheets thing and we found that, at least around here, you can’t get a mortgage that way. Houses are too expensive here and most people are selling their own homes and need the money right away for their next place. I operate without a credit card, too, but I needed a car and was only able to get a loan at a very high rate. With kids, you can’t risk a clunker if at all possible. When you live where there isn’t much public transportation you have to have a car.

        • Ω cynmac will never surrender

          If you are a good renter and the landlord wants to keep you, you can often times do a lease/purchase where part of your rent goes to buying the house. If you move away, you forfeit.
          I haven’t had a new car since the one I bought in 1991. My brother and I are car enthusiasts. He’s actually working on mine right now. We don’t get collision on our insurance policies, since the insurance company is going to total the car on you anyway. The money you save can be saved for the next car. But we have been able to get decades out of our vehicles with regular maintenance. My advice? Find a friend who is an avid motorhead or is married to one.

          • BosGrl

            Well, that’s situational and if you can do that, it’s great. If you live in an apartment building, that’s not going to work, though, and when you’re a single woman without much of a social life, it’s not easy to make a mechanic friend. However, I understand your point.

          • Ω cynmac will never surrender

            True. But some people list their condo or house with lease/purchase as an option, also too. Maybe it is just more common here in the SE.

          • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

            cash money was great for condos during the great crash…dicking around with loans took too long and too many things go wrong.

            also, wire transfers, so, yeah, easy peasy.

          • Claire

            Sure, if you’ve got a quarter mil or so sitting around in your checking account. It’s pretty safe to say that most people don’t.

          • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

            well yeah, obvs, but we were talking about cash only deals there at the end of this.

          • Ω cynmac will never surrender

            I got my condo for $105K during the Great Recession. The bottom in my complex was $97K. It’s worth between $140 – 160K now, depending on the site. We’re the “affordable housing” in my town.

        • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

          two words: money orders

          Or for big ticket shit, cashier’s checks at your bank.

          • Ω cynmac will never surrender

            I bought a truck cash for $3500 and brought a cashier’s check. The guy didn’t know what it was and I told him that it’s like cash and the money had already been pulled from my account. But if he didn’t want it, fine. I’ll find another truck. He took it.

          • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

            (facepalm)

            Morons.

          • My apartment complex now requires money order or Cashier’s check for Deposit, fees, and 1st Month. They didn’t mind it all on one cashier’s check to save the transaction fee, so that was the most money I have ever spent in one go.

          • James

            We used a bank money order for our (then) new car. The dealership was dumbfounded, mostly because they didn’t know how to handle a money order for a purchase. (That was a Mercedes dealer.)

            Their manager came to us in the middle of that asking if it was okay if they called our bank to make sure the money order was good. “Sure.”

            We finally got the keys to our new car half an hour after the place closed.

          • Ω cynmac will never surrender

            I walked into a dealership wanting a specific car that they had on their website. This was in 2000, so car sales on the internet was new. I ran a carfax on the car and checked the value on KBB. So I went to my credit union and got a loan. I show up with a cashier’s check and offer $18K for the 1997 Infiniti J30, cash on the barrel. They were like don’t you want our financing and I said, nope. Of course they took my check. I drove that car until 2014, when it got t-boned by some joker’s monster truck. It was going to be my classic car.
            My bro has a 1988 Toyota Supra that he redid and he takes it to shows. I wanted to do that too, but I missed my chance.

        • h4rr4r

          Why not get a credit card and build your credit to avoid the high loan rate later?

          Credit cards are not dangerous, if you pay them off every paycheck.

      • h4rr4r

        How do you get a homeloan?

        • Ω cynmac will never surrender

          I didn’t. Lease purchase, since paid off. Keep reading the thread.

          • h4rr4r

            You bought a condo.

            Your choice, but some folks want a free standing home.

          • Ω cynmac will never surrender

            True and more of houses here are available on lease/purchase. I’m retired and disabled and not looking for high maintenance. I’ve owned other houses (last sale is part of the money I am living on now, waiting for my SS app to be processed). The yardwork, etc is not possible.

    • Latverian Diplomat

      And if they really get in deep, the rich and privilege can always find a friend at a Russian Bank…

      • Rick Hill

        Only those without the moxie to get a small loan of a million Ameros from their family

    • Rick Hill

      Not to mention that guys like this are right at hand with arguments ready to defend why they should be making even more money, because of the effort they make.

      • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

        Fuck them. Most of them, anyway. I would just as soon stick a 30-gauge piano wire vote around their neck and hang them the the nearest light-vote.

    • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

      this right here…they can take a year or two before college or after college or go back to college when they realize their first degree is worthless.

      I coulda gone been halfway through law school right now, if I could have afforded it (the student loans woulda been six figures, I have no doubt).

      • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

        Fucking student loans…I won’t even get started on that. I was lucky to only have $5K in student loans in the early 80’s. Got that paid off real quick. I was lucky enough to find an engineering job while finishing up my engineering degree. My manager even cosigned a loan at the local credit union so I could finish my degree and pay off that fucking student loan.

        Can you imagine a manager doing something like that now?

        • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

          i can’t imagine ANY of those things.

          Put this in perspective, the best law jobs (and probably most jobs) around here are with local, state, fed government. Best pay, best benefits.

          Now THAT’s frightening.

          • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

            Criminy. American Excrementalism at it’s best. I just can’t think of anything better to say about this shit.

          • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

            it’s brutal and the subject of much discussion with the ever patient (and generous) TX mom.

        • Ω cynmac will never surrender

          I got my full degree from Georgia Tech for $5000, finished in 1983. My ex-H#1 had Pell grants. They don’t have Pell Grants like they used to and Tech costs like $5000/semester now.
          I got my Masters with employee education program at my job. I was out $1500 out of pocket over the 3 years. Finished that in 1988.
          Fast forward to 2007. I am taking a course to earn a Paralegal certification for my “retirement” job and one of the instructors encourages me to go to Law School. I explained that at 45, it’s really too late for me to take on $100K in debt. Good thing I didn’t because a lot of lawyers went without work during the Great Recession. I was able to pick up project work doing contract analysis for government contracts. Now that’s not possible so I’m researching jobs in mediation. The state of Georgia and most counties are pushing for mediation to speed up court cases.
          But you never know, right?

          • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

            ADR (alternative dispute resolution) is apparently a growing and well paying field. I believe texas requires it now for civil suits.

            Did you get your cert?

          • Ω cynmac will never surrender

            The nearby Justice Center has a course in September. I am still doing due diligence because I meet all the state requirements, but some counties have additional requirements. I live walking distance to my county’s courthouse and a 20 minute train ride to the next county. I have some calls to make, but I think that it’s time.

          • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

            good for you friend!

            As I remember it – Paralegals can also represent people in Social Security/Disability cases.

            Just something to think about.

          • Ω cynmac will never surrender

            I may be a Social Security/Disability case, tho the agent I got is encouraging. My app has been in since October and I am almost done with medical review. They are waiting on two doctors.
            My goal is to work part time, live off the SS and save the mediation money.

          • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

            that’s what i’ms aying, having gone through it – you’d be an excellent advocate!

          • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

            Yeah. You never know unless you keep up the search. Best of luck to you!

          • Ω cynmac will never surrender

            Thanks. Being disabled, it’s been hard to determine the right path.

    • Mike Steele

      Your last line is prophetic – also, too, why Trump owes his soul to the Russians.

    • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

      also, there’s always some connection of daddy’s that can give you a job.

      • 🛶🗣️ Mr Canoehead 🛶🗣️

        This is very important and widely overlooked.

    • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

      also also too, your credit is key these days in getting a job or a security clearance for a job.

      Some of us had to be, uh, creative with our bills – and suffered for it. These fuckers don’t.

      • BosGrl

        That’s exactly right. I forgot they do that now.

      • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

        S’Truth! Back in the early nineties, I became temporarily stupid and ran up my credit really bad. I just barely managed to get my clearance reinstated after I was stoopid enough to let it go inactive. Luckily, I had a history of always making good on my debts.

      • Ω cynmac will never surrender

        It’s weird, but I have no open lines of credit but if I go to Credit Karma, I still have a rating over 700. Even with a foreclosure on a rental property in 2011. Now that pushed my credit down to 330, but I paid off and closed all my credit cards then too.

      • I’ve never had a credit card, but as someone who was drowning in student loan debt before drowning in student loan debt was cool, I’ve lost out on a couple of jobs because of it.

        • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

          i’ve never actually lost one – but i’ve never bothered to apply for jobs that needed a clearance.

          • With any luck, I’ll be in my current job for the rest of my life, so I hope not to encounter it again.

          • Komsumverweigerer Ron

            Fingers crossed. It’s all too common for people to suddenly find themselves out of work at an age where finding another job is next to impossible.

          • Which is pretty much exactly where I am. That and, having a degree but no specific professional qualification (i.e., certified teacher, counsellor, etc.) puts me in a limbo area here in my small town — too educated for many/most jobs but no specialized qualification for the jobs that do need tertiary education.

          • Komsumverweigerer Ron

            Yeesh…
            Can you GET other qualifications? Is moving an option?

          • I’m a single parent who’s crossed into AARP membership eligibility territory. So, too old, too poor.

          • Komsumverweigerer Ron

            Yeah, I know what that’s like as well. Looking at self-employment options, which is much harder in some ways.

  • mancityRed6
    • Incoming Ham

      It is. Very relaxing.

    • therblig

      cool. not live, but also awesome – WHALE SHARKS!!!!

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u7deClndzQw

      • mancityRed6

        I’m watching it on the bigger screen and it’s…well, whatever. live or not, it’s the shit.

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      The Monterey Bay Aquarium is awesome. I was going back there for a third time with my ex, but it just happened to be a “bring your child to the aquarium day”, so I can say I have only been there twice. I has a sad.

      • mancityRed6

        http://www.tnaqua.org/
        this was so cool I went three times.
        no idea what the lemurs do, though.
        swim?

        • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

          Lemurs are a primate found in Madagascar. They are really cool. I don’t know about their swimming, though. Only small lemurs survive to this day. Back when people first populated that island there were really huge lemurs, bigger than a man. That’s about all I remember from my university days, though.

      • The Monterey Bay is pretty awesome as well. Between Santa Cruz and Monterey the bottom drops out under water, perhaps a mile or so deep.

        I grew up surfing the cold water there and remember when the aquarium opened. It is awesome indeed.

        • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

          Yeah, back when we decided that we were not in the mood to put up with massive crowds of chilldrenz, we found there was no shortage of other activities from which we could choose in that area.

        • Incoming Ham

          The deep bit is under a shelf where the subs hang out.

          No joke.

          • Komsumverweigerer Ron

            I wanna make a joke about ‘where do the Doms hang out?’ but I’m too sleepy.

    • WomanInThePersistence
      • mancityRed6

        that rock moved, and it was a bear!

        • WomanInThePersistence

          My favorite part is that most of the footage consists of bears just standing in a river, with fish jumping around. It’s pretty rare to actually see a bear catch a fish.

          • H0mer0

            yes but can he tune a fish?

  • SnarkON

    “Even in this digital age, lawns need to be mowed…”

    Ben, your Republican constituents would rather hire a brown-skinned undocumented worker to mow the lawn. You can pay those people half of what you’d pay the teenage kid across the street.

  • janecita
    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      I’m a fan of gluttony and I took an early retirement. I guess I’ll have a short life doing what I want.

  • Latverian Diplomat

    “No Cassie, you are too old to have the Nanny check for cow pregnancies for you; do it yourself.”
    — Ben Sasse puts his foot down, builds character

    • James

      LOL.

      Rectal Palpation to Check for Pregnancy in Cows (goes to WikiHow), instructions on how to check a cow for pregnancy

      While teenagers on ranches across this state do these things, I’m guessing any halfway competent rancher with a senator’s daughter who never touched a corn tassel or cow at all is not going to let her any where near his cattle (they are expensive, and if the teenager gets injured or killed by the cow the senator would have his head on a pike).

      My guess is Senator Sasse’s daughter was mostly kept out of trouble on the ranch.

      • I adore both the books and TV show “All Creatures Great & Small”, and they have left me with loads of respect for Veterinarians, and a certainty that I am not suited for their work.

        • Persistent Demme

          They sure did a lot of “up-the-butt” cow moves on that show, huh?

        • BosGrl

          My Katie wanted to be a vet when she was little, until she realized that sometimes she would have to draw blood and possibly hurt them. She loved animals but was not cut out for the medical side.

          • I hear that. I couldn’t either. One of the women I dated is a Vet Tech. She loved the work, all small animal at her job, but some of it was traumatic for her.

      • MilwaukeeKent

        I know it’s a thing and I’ve witnessed it (in the Dominican Republic of all places, with a Peace Corp.-effort village milk cow) but I wonder if he phrased this correctly

        [“] Between checking cows for pregnancies — a job that involves a shoulder-length glove — and bottle-feeding orphaned heifers, she loved it and hated it. [“]
        Okay, wait Ben, so…she loved fisting cows but hated bottle-feeding orphaned heifers?? I mean, serious ick factor, but that’s how it scans. Did you mean she hated checking pregnancies and loved the other? Then again, you’re Republicans, so what do I know.

        :

        • Orphaned heifers? Does Sasse know what a heifer is and what an infant bovine is called? Methinks he meant “calves”.

      • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

        Thank you for linking. The way that procedure is described, they might have let her do it once, maybe. It doesn’t sound like a job for a 14 year old girl.

      • Komsumverweigerer Ron

        I always assumed you just waited to see if the cow had morning sickness and weird cravings.

  • Manhattan123

    Every time I think I’ve seen the most punchable Republican face, a new ones vies for contention.

    • OrG

      This guys a ass but he’s got a long way to even crack my top 20.

    • janecita
      • Mike Steele

        You mean our incoming AG?

        • janecita

          ¡Solavaya! That’s one scary thought!

      • Manhattan123

        Nah, he’s probably still the champ, because that face is paired with that fucking smarmy voice.

      • sarafina

        No. I live in Texas, and Al Franken LOVES this guy compared to how I feel.

      • hudson srinivasan

        We need the marines, and we need the coast guard.

        We still need a brigade to fight the pervasive spread of low lying derp.

    • Latverian Diplomat

      “True punchability comes from within.”
      The Buddha, probably

      • AJ Milne

        If you meet the punchable Buddha in the road, punch him out anyway. But that’s not the Buddha.

      • WomanInThePersistence

        “What is the sound of one hand punching?”
        Probably not the Buddha.

      • Manhattan123

        The Buddha never met Newt Gingrich.

        • miss_grundy

          Gingrich would have tried the Buddha’s patience.

  • Christopher Story

    “The children now love luxury. They have bad manners, contempt for authority; they show disrespect for elders and love chatter in place of exercise.”
    – Socrates 469-399 B.C.

    • ‘The politicians are now criminals, Whores, and Traitors, they display contempt for all that is right.’

      ~ Anna Elizabeth, 2017 CE

      • Christopher Story

        Seems we’ve been bitching about the same things for 2000 years. Remind me, how’s this evolution thing supposed to work, again?

        • I dunno. I have certainly grown and changed over the years, but it seems systems are regressing right now.

          • Christopher Story

            It must have something to do with chaos theory and thermodynamics as well.

          • hudson srinivasan

            and the theory of derpodynamics too.

          • h4rr4r

            It’s like the 80s all over again, makes me hope the 90s are coming back.

          • Querolous

            Time for another dot-com bubble?

      • hudson srinivasan

        rofl.

    • II Gosala

      yeah, yeah Socrates. Wasn’t he the fellow who was convicted for teaching that up is down, left is right, that the sun is but a hot stone, for making the weaker argument defeat the stronger and for corrupting the youth?

      • Same guy.

      • WomanInThePersistence

        He also had terrible taste in drinks, iirc.

        • II Gosala

          As I recall he refused a plot to spirit him away. He said that the laws made him who he was, guided him and protected him. Without the law he would have no meaning or purpose. So, he drank in obedience to that same law.

          • Komsumverweigerer Ron

            Believed in law and order. Complained about the youth of his day. Corrupted said youths.
            Socrates, the first Republican.

      • OrG

        Much like Ozzy Osbourne.

      • Christopher Story

        I love the quote because it proves how empty and hollow bitching about “kids these days” really is. If every generation were truly worse than the one that came before it, how did we ever go from stories of Icarus and Daedalus to putting men on the moon.

        • II Gosala

          And our worship of the gods? Our honoring of the ways of our ancestors? What has become of that? Huh?

          What has mere technical achievement to offer compared to the moral and ethical effort exemplified by our ancestors’ devotion?

          • Christopher Story

            Indoor plumbing and the air conditioner.

    • Ωbjectifier

      Get offa my agora! Damn kids.

      • Shucky Ducky

        Ugh, I shoulda scrolled down. Take another upfist.

    • Latverian Diplomat

      And to think, the lawn hadn’t even been invented yet.

    • hudson srinivasan

      there guys, behold socrates’s dad himself.*

      * we used to say this whenever someone got all i’m more smarter than the rest of you.

    • Shucky Ducky

      “Get off of my agora!” [shakes fist]

  • There’s a good op-ed in WaPo today on how wealth tends to corrupt the soul. I’d LINK to it but am all muddy at the dog park and on my phone.

    • OrG

      There is plenty of evidence to support that hypothesis.

      • I can add to the body of evidence as my wealthiest clients are the ones most likely not to pay in full or to delay payment until it becomes a problem. I had one client, when given a bill for $23,875.00 said to me, “what’s the $875.00 dollar’s for?”. I pointed it out on the invoice and he wrote a check for $23,000.00. “So sue me” was his explanation.

        I didn’t charge enough for that job to begin with….lesson learned.

        • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

          i fucking would have…small claims court, oh hell yeah.

        • Zippy W Pinhead

          $875.00 is small claims court- I’d have done it just to fuck with him

          • I’m a woodworker and carpenter with not enough hours in the day.

          • Zippy W Pinhead

            Sometimes it’s worth it- especially getting the $875 for a day’s work. I did it as a college kid, worked as a DJ in a bar and when some girl working there (who my boss happened to be cheating on his wife with) spilled her coke on some electronics in the booth he tried to charge me for it and withhold it from my paycheck. When I bitched, he fired me, so I took him to small claims court and got everything I had coming. It’s much tougher to ignore a judge than it is to ignore a pissed off employee or contractor

          • That’s a waste of some good electronics.

          • Zippy W Pinhead

            Coke or Pepsi will eat through PC board faster than you can yell “oh shit!”

          • h4rr4r

            A judgement he refuses to pay is worth nothing.

          • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

            mechanic’s lien?

          • I’ve placed a couple of those over the past 20 years. I’ve never received compensation for the work.

          • h4rr4r

            If you are willing to wait until they sell. That $875 will probably buy you a nice dinner in 30 years, when you get it.

          • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

            this is true.

          • miss_grundy

            That’s how the paint contractor got Tangerini’s Doral golf club to pay its bill. He filed a mechanic’s lien against the Doral and he would have gotten the property if the bill hadn’t been paid.

          • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

            hmmm, must work differently. My real property prof said they’re pretty worthless if hte new buyer doesn’t care about the cloud on the title. Banks almost certainly would want it cleared up first.

        • OrG

          As a former pizza delivery driver I can tell you that the super rich neighborhoods we’re NOT where the best tips we’re.

          • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

            i worked at a kinda, but not really, fancy restaurant – can confirm.

          • Zippy W Pinhead

            never- they’re ll tightwads. Poor people tip better. People who have worked for tips are the best tipper

          • h4rr4r

            The pizza place I call is a couple blocks away. Everytime I get a new driver they are confused about the tip. They seem to think that I would stiff them since it was a short drive.

          • Ohgodyes. I rarely go to restaurants, but I am constituionally incapable of not leaving at least a 20% tip, even when the service has been lousy.

          • h4rr4r

            I have two options 20%+ and 1 cent. I have deployed the 1 cent tip only twice in my life. Both times they were very well deserved.

          • See, I’d only be able to do something like that if I knew that the poor service had been deliberate for some reason.

          • h4rr4r

            In both cases it went well beyond bad service on purpose. The most recent case involved the waiter threatening to call the police when we could not pay due to them not taking credit cards even though they had the Visa and MasterCard logos on the door. I offered to leave my wife and wallet while I went to get Cash at the nearest ATM. He demanded that I must have cash on me and that I was trying to dine and dash and that he would call the cops if I was not back in 10 minutes. Mind you he had my wallet and my wife stayed behind. This was after some terrible food, not his fault, and him dropping off the meals cold and not coming back for 30 minutes, which was his fault.

            I found out later he is the owner’s son.

          • Yeah. Deffo would not have left a tip. :-)

          • h4rr4r

            Oh no, you have to give the 1 cent. It proves it was not a mistake

          • Komsumverweigerer Ron

            Learning the business, eh? I don’t think the restaurant will survive his ownership, when it happens.

          • Komsumverweigerer Ron

            How do you tip 1 cent? Divide a nickel in fifths?

          • h4rr4r

            In the USA we still have pennies.

          • Komsumverweigerer Ron

            Ah, of course. How else would rich people be able to pay immigrant workers?

          • Komsumverweigerer Ron

            Yup. When I drove cab the fares going to the wealthier part of town were always smallest. The BEST tippers were the girls who worked at the strip clubs. Loved driving them around.

          • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

            i liked cab driving, but it was shortly after 9/11 so not much money.

          • Komsumverweigerer Ron

            Nights were best. No summer heat, lots of traffic to and from the clubs, and a lovely dead spot around 2:30 AM where I could park the car and either play Pokemon Silver or sharpen my knives.
            Oddly happy days, that.

        • miss_grundy

          Should have put a lien on his property just to burn his butt. Or found some other way to mess with his credit or something. He sounds like a Tangerini wannabe.

    • Latverian Diplomat

      Was that op ed written by Jeebus?

      • A couple of religious studies professors…..same dif.

    • mancityRed6
    • hudson srinivasan

      not just wealth. success in general. although wealth is particularly dangerous in that it fools you into falsely assuming success.

      i don’t about soul and all, but success can lead to hubris, which can make you blind, in turn.

    • miss_grundy
  • William

    I detassled corn as a first summer job and I think that St. John’s college sounds pretty great. This asshole makes me feel badly about these things. Why do rethuglicans have to ruin everything?

  • Jennifer R
    • TJ Barke

      Solidarity forever.

  • Jonny On Maui

    5$F has Daria as an avatar? No wonder I’m in love…

    • h4rr4r

      Get in line.

      • puredog

        Conga-hump!

  • Zippy W Pinhead

    About that move by the House Judiciary Committee last week to avoid further investigation of Comey by moving to investigate Hillary? Anyone wanna guess where that idea originated?

    Thursday night, three Twitter users discovered that a staffer for one of the resolution’s sponsors attempted to crowdsource a number of the resolution’s salient points from r/The_Donald, a subreddit notorious for playing host to unfounded conspiracy theories and anti-Islam tendencies. In other words, not a conventional source of legislative inspiration.

    The frequent r/The_Donald visitor asking for the group’s input on what House Republicans should be investigating instead of Russian election hacking, Devinm666, was then confirmed to be legislative assistant Devin Murphy, an aide to Florida Rep. Matt Gaetz. And Devin Murphy was up-front about his own alt-right notions in posts to the group:

    About seven months ago (prior to taking his current job), he referred to Barack Obama as “Barry o’Islama”: […]
    In other posts, he refers to Obama as a “Kenyan Muslim,” and refugees in Germany as “raping savages.”

    • OrG

      Surprise Surprise Surprise **Gomer Pyle Voice**

    • willi0000000

      why oh why am i not surprised that such a bigoted, racist idiot could get a job as assistant to a repugnican?

      [ i’m beginning to rethink my assertion that all should be allowed to vote . . . beginning to consider a basic humanity test as a requirement to vote ]

      • James

        There was a reason my ballot in the last election was turned in entirely blank except for my village board of trustees and a vote for Hillary Clinton and Tim Kaine.

        I get choices of a Republican running unopposed or Republicans running against each other.

        (I do hate it though when someone asks me “well why don’t you move then?” Aside from cost, we can’t fix this if liberals all move out of the rural areas.)

        Back in the Twenties, the largest state Socialist Party was in Oklahoma.

        People in rural areas tend to be socialistic in their thinking anyway (help neighbours, work together for a common goal, &c), they just had a couple Red Scares and fearmongering by the GOP to convince them “socialism” is bad.

        • Yep. The most left-wing politician ever to hold national office — Henry A. Wallace — was from the same small town that my father was from. Farmers were at the forefront of socialism in the first part of the 20th Century.

  • Nena

    Here’s an idea – Summer travel for our elected officials, and for owners and executives of companies getting piles of taxpayer $$, could start with visiting a neighborhood where folk are less well off.

    Have them spend a month living and working among the low-income folks they seem to think are doing just fine. Let them experience, up close and personal, what it’s like to live on $15/hr or less.

    • OutOfOrbit

      i’m LMAO here

    • puredog

      Many of them know what it’s like being poor and they prefer being rich, thank you very much. If the price of being rich is doing whatever it takes to keep getting re-elected, included pissing on the poors, well then, so be it.

    • Wookie Monster

      And no food stamps.

    • James

      I still wouldn’t let any one of them check for pregnant cattle.

      I would teach them how to use a scythe though. Cutting grain or hay all day in the hot sun builds character. (Or they can cut my lawn, I don’t care.)

  • Mysterious Masked Wrestler

    “When I was a child, I was sent to fight for a rebel army in a third world country every summer. I was shot, stabbed, decapitated, burned alive. I died hundreds of times. My sisters were lent to sex slavery rings, except the ugly one, who had her organs harvested. My point is, these things that never happened made me into the disgusting greedy Republican I am today. Why aren’t your children suffering like I did right now, you lazy welfare recipients and effete liberal bums?”

    • Ω cynmac will never surrender

      That’s harsh but true and understandable. Well done.

  • Bill D. Burger

    “Sit down Big Ass! This isn’t N.J. and you’re nobody here.”

    [Yahoo Sports: 7/30/2017:
    If Chris Christie is going to go into sports talk once his political career ends, he’s going to need some tougher skin. While attending Sunday’s Milwaukee Brewers game, Christie angrily confronted a Chicago Cubs fan, getting within inches of his face.
    Brad Joseph, told WISN that Christie confronted him after he told the New Jersey governor he “sucked,” and called him a “hypocrite.” Christie initially asked the fan if he needed another beer before calling him a big shot.
    Still, it’s not a great look for someone who handles tough situations every day and is supposed to be calm and composed under fire. You can hear Christie call the man a “big shot” sarcastically before he walks away.
    With this incident, it’s fair to say Christie’s transition to the sports world hasn’t been smooth. He sat in for Mike Francesa on WFAN about a week before the Mets game and was called a “bully” and a “fat-ass.”
    After this experience, Christie might want to consider a more relaxing way to spend his Sundays. We hear the beach is nice this time of year.]

    https://twitter.com/BennyHutch/status/891759452415815682

    • Pisto75666

      Those Cubs fans had to wait what, 80 some years for a World Series championship? Some New Jersey blowhard sure isn’t gonna rattle them.

    • Latverian Diplomat

      “You’re just lucky it’s not free bat night!”
      — Chris Christie

    • OrG

      Don’t we have enough know-nothing blowhards in the sportsball world already?

      • Ω cynmac will never surrender

        Jim Rose Libelz1!!1!1

    • janecita

      Man, only a couple more months before we get rid of this fucking asshole! I can’t wait!

      • Bill D. Burger
        • janecita

          That’s hilarious!

      • Latverian Diplomat

        Then he can move on to being Ambassador to North Korea?

        • janecita

          Right before Trump nukes it?

          • Latverian Diplomat

            That could result in a grease fire that lasts for days…umm, with votes?

      • Ω cynmac will never surrender

        Actually January 16, 2018. Countdown already started.

    • Komsumverweigerer Ron

      I know someone who plays golf a lot, who might want to start putting together a foursome. Though that would make it a LOT harder to cheat.

  • Mary Theresa

    OMG, 5$ feminist, you win the internets today.

  • ArmedForces

    I Love the sarcastic Tone of this piece. Just what it deserves!

  • janecita

    Off Topic; Better Mad Max, Mel Gibson or Tom Hardy?

    • Pisto75666

      Haven’t seen Mad Max yet (Tried once but couldn’t get through it. I’ll try again eventually) but just on principle, I’d have to go with Tom Hardy.

      • janecita

        Try once more, it’s actually a good movie.

      • Latverian Diplomat

        FWIW, Road Warrior is the real gem of the original trilogy, and you don’t have to see the first one to enjoy it.

        The final, big chase is still amazing decades later.

        The art direction is not as fresh as it once was, I think it’s been shamelessly copied over and over.

        • Komsumverweigerer Ron

          Yup. EVERY post-apocalyptic film after RW looked just like it.

        • Pisto75666

          Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome is the only one of the original trilogy I’ve seen (I saw it at the drive in with my parents when I was about 8)

          • Latverian Diplomat

            It’s not without it’s charms, like the viewmaster story of “Captain Walker”, but it’s no Road Warrior

      • I really enjoy Mad Max, it’s a very brutal movie, with a visceral punch to it.

        I find the second half to be one of the most disturbing series of scenes I will willingly watch.

        • Komsumverweigerer Ron

          Most of the time when watching it I have to fast-forward past the scenes with Max and his family. It hurts far too much.

          • I hear that. ~hugs~ My favorite part of the movie is the opening engagement against the Night Rider. I love the Falcon Pursuit cars, and Max’s initial Interceptor, and Night Rider’s stolen Holden is pretty cool as well.

          • Komsumverweigerer Ron

            ‘You listening, Bronze? I am the Nightrider! I’m a fuel-injected suicide machine! I am the rocker! I am the roller! I am the out-of-controller! I am the Nightrider, baby, and it’s me and my Marmaduke, and we ain’t never coming back!
            The Toecutter, he knows who I am! I am the Nightrider! I am the chosen one, the mighty hand of vengeance, sent down to strike the unroadworthy! I’m hotter than a rollin’ dice! Step right up, chum, and watch the kid lay down the rubber road, right to freedom!’

          • xD

            “It’s nothin’ a year in the Tropics wont cure.”

        • Pisto75666

          Hmm. I’ll have to watch to see if I can handle it, then. TBH I’m all over the place when it comes to graphic types of movies. I love movies like ‘Interview With A Vampire’ or ‘Wanted’ (James McAvoy Morgan Freeman), but some movies with graphic scenes really squick me.

          • I adore Wanted, it’s a favorite of mine.

            In Mad Max it’s not so much blood as it is so in-your-face brutal car crashes and violence. Use discretion.

          • Pisto75666

            Ehh, I watched Sons of Anarchy. Car crashes & violence I can handle.

            My friend & I saw Wanted just for the heck of it. The high point for me was hearing Morgan Freeman say ‘motherfucker’. I know he was in character, but for some reason I just thought it shocking (and a little hilarious, if I’m honest.)

          • I like that part as well. :)

            I crush on James McAvoy and Angelina Jolie, so Wanted was a must see, and I really enjoy it.

    • Latverian Diplomat

      FWIW, I think Fury Road called for more acting.

      Road Warrior and Fury Road are both pretty great though.

      • janecita

        I like them both, but I think that I might like Fury Road a tad better.

    • Gibson certainly has the “mad” part down pat.

      • Latverian Diplomat

        For the last time, Mel, it’s “Bartertown”, not “Jewtown”, OK?

      • janecita

        He was so good looking 40 years ago though!

        • Latverian Diplomat

          Something something skin deep.

          OK, that’s a little unfair, he has some talent as an actor and director, but he seems to be quite a nasty person, and some of his bizarre obsessions (like his torture fetish) leave an unsavory trail though his body of work…

          • janecita

            He is in the same category as Clint Eastwood, James Wood and Jon Voight, I actually liked them until I realized how totally crazy they were. I can’t watch their movies anymore.

          • Ω cynmac will never surrender

            I can watch early Eastwood. Hulu has Good, Bad & Ugly and For a Few Dollars More available. And I enjoy watching Unforgiven and Gran Torino because they remind me of my dad. Actually, all four remind me of my dad because I’ve watched them with him.

        • I re-watched Road Warrior again just the other night. An amazing movie, tight and sparse and nothing extraneous. Mel was awesome in it, his little smile when he plays the music box thingy for the Feral Kid…

          I’m trying to watch Gibson’s older movies and forget what I know about him now.

          • Ωbjectifier

            The Year of Living Dangerously

          • Yes, I first saw that as a teen. A remarkable film. Gibson, Sigourney Weaver, and Linda Hunt.

          • Lark_in_the_AM

            YES. One of the best he ever made.

    • buzz

      I remember my friend telling me she went to a movie with her (then) boyfriend and that the guy in the movie was really hot…..that was some 35+ years ago. I haven’t seen the newest version of Mad Max, may be when it’s on NetFlix, but I’ve lost all respect for Mel Gibson.

      • janecita

        Me too, it’s a shame the guy is actually a decent actor.

    • Charlize Theron

      • Ω cynmac will never surrender

        I agree.

      • janecita

        Obviously! Did you go watch “Atomic Blonde,” already?

    • Komsumverweigerer Ron

      One could as easily ask which was the better Mel Gibson Mad Max, because the first three films are so different from each other. Personal taste, I like ‘Road Warrior’ Max the best, because it’s the one film where Max changes and ‘grows’ the most.

  • miss_grundy

    What do you expect from a Republican….

  • bbayliss

    “The children now love luxury. They have bad manners, contempt for authority; they show disrespect for elders and love chatter in place of exercise.”
    ― Socrates

  • therblig

    during summers in college, i worked in a chain factory – Universal Chain in Maplewood, NJ. since OSHA had only been created 3 years before, i’m guessing it was a while before they ever got around to visiting. in the past, they also had a factory in Havana,

    my job was taking round brass wire and running it through a machine to make it into flat brass wire, which was then sent across the floor to be made into chains.

    in addition to wire pulling, wire flattening, and chain making machines, they also had vats for copper plating, nickel plating, and one for gold plating – filled with nasty chemicals.

    and not a goggle, earplug, or face mask in sight. my hands would be covered with slices from the wire (you couldn’t really handle it with gloves), but the light oil we squirted on everything made them heal pretty quickly.

    once a month, they’d sweep up the cigarette butts off the floor before letting the fire marshall come through for inspection.

    I don’t think it’s a sin that i’d prefer my son not work in a place like that.

    • buzz

      My first “paid” job (as in not babysitting/eldersitting} was when I was 16, my friend had an interview at a local nursing home, she wanted me to come along as moral support.they said it was like babysitting, they were just larger. My friend was placed on the locked ward, really just those with advanced memory issues. She chose to work in the kitchen. I worked there later and loved the patients, we somehow connected, not sure if this is good or bad. I was placed on a floor where the people just needed assisted aid. But I remember having shit run down my leg, lifting someone that weighed twice my weight and dealing with delusional people at 16 years old. So yeah, tell me about your month in the corn fields.
      This job taught me to be patient, non-judgemental and to understand that not everyone has a happy death. Probably not something every 16 year old learns but it shaped my life.
      I should note that this would no longer be allowed in my state, now the nurses assistants would need to be certified. And if I remember correctly my starting rate was about $2.08/hour.

      • Ω cynmac will never surrender

        Thank you for your service. Three of my grandparents were in nursing homes. One was in hospice. My brother’s FIL had the same brain cancer as John McCain and Teddy Kennedy and was in hospice. Luckily, the facilities they were all were nice and with great staff. Not like the low rent nursing home my GGF was in. My GM would take me to visit him when I was 10-12. It informed my decision making when it was time to pick a place for the GPs. Yeah, my family is so dysfunctional that I, a grandchild, had to step in. Good times.

        • buzz

          I was actually very lucky, the nursing home was a retirement home for Sisters of St. Joseph of Carondelet – as an atheist it was an interesting experience. And it almost 30 years ago, many of the women I worked with were either women from the parish who wanted extra money or younger single women who didn’t see the job as anything as a stepping stone to something else.
          I think now with regulations things are not quite the same.
          And I was “spoiled” as it were, these were women who had in most cases, chose to join the church/order – they didn’t have regrets as far as relationships with SO/children and they truly believed that when they died they were going to a much better place. Something I hope for my cats :)

      • Lark_in_the_AM

        I was a volunteer in our local nursing home when I was 14. I learned the same lessons, and I’ve never forgotten them. I also learned that old men still have libidos and to never let one see me go into the linen closet alone if I didn’t wish to be assaulted. Thank heavens for the panic button inside the room.

        • buzz

          At one point I had a very short hair cut, basically a buzz cut. One of my patient’s told me I was a nice young man. I told her I was a “girl”. She literally ran her hands down my chest and said “oh, you’re right”…..I still miss her hugs.

  • James

    Geez, I go off to make a mixed drink because it’s nearly six here in Mythical Time Zone, and there are eighty-nine new non-comments. I can’t keep up. Someone needs to send me to Wonkette University for a BS in Snark.

    • Jonny On Maui

      You can get a snark upgrade via intravenous injection. Use the Amazon link…

      • James

        Amazon sells snarks? It would appear you can get anything from them.

        • SeekingCovfefeBarbie

          I thought you had to hunt for snarks.

          • Jonny On Maui

            I bet you were fun at camp…

          • proudgrampa

            Did I ever tell you about the cable crew that I supervised and how I sent a new crew member off in search of a can of “Cable Slack”?

            Laughs-a-minute!

          • Jonny On Maui

            Best one I ever saw was some poor smuck sent to the supply sgt for ‘canopy lights’.

            “We’re doing a night jump…”

          • proudgrampa

            HAHA! That’s a good one!

          • javadavis

            “Supply says we’re out of Cable Slack, but if you want I can go back and get a can of Rotor Wash. Better hurry, they are almost out of that, as well.”

          • SeekingCovfefeBarbie

            Alas, I was a sad child who never got to go to camp. However, I’ve made up for it by being a lot of fun in the present!

          • Latverian Diplomat

            The domesticated snark, while not as savory as the wild snark, can be served up on a more reliable basis.

        • Komsumverweigerer Ron

          You can find them in the Boojum section of the Web site.

    • Latverian Diplomat

      Maybe if these comments were allowed, there’d be fewer of them…you know how kids are…

    • Ω cynmac will never surrender

      I jump in and read the latest hour. That’s usually all that is active. And watch my disgust notifications for replies to old stuff.

    • proudgrampa

      Don’t even try to keep up with it. Read the latest 20-30 minutes, usually, and get the gist of everything. Good luck!

      • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

        I just repeat the same meme every hour.

  • duckshoe

    “Not sure that X is best addressed at the federal level” is the worst of all Republican mantras. If something is “addressed at the federal level,” everybody pays for it. If it’s left to the states, they can cheap out on it, write articles about self-reliance, and go home satisfied that the corpses aren’t their problem. Principled? Not worth a bucket of warm spit.

    • Latverian Diplomat

      “X is best ignored at the state level”
      — An honest Republican (a fictional character of my own invention)

      • Ω cynmac will never surrender

        Do you have fever dreams?

  • Nounverb911

    I keep hearing about this place called “Nebraska”, yet I’ve never found it while cruising up and down Interstates I-5 and I-95. Does it really exist?

    • OrG

      I’ve been there. It does. You’re not missing anything.

    • h4rr4r

      It’s just a second Iowa.

      • puredog

        BRUCE DERN LIBELZ!

        • WomanInThePersistence

          BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN LIBELZ!

          • puredog

            all soh 2!

      • Latverian Diplomat

        I prefer second breakfast.

    • Jonny On Maui
    • Latverian Diplomat

      Nebraska is just a myth South Dakotans use to frighten their children.

      • h4rr4r

        That there are two Dakotas and that they have 4 electoral votes between them makes me crazy. ND, SD and NE should be one state, then Puerto Rico and DC should be made states. The flags could stay the same.

        • Left Coast Tom

          The two Dakotas have four Senators between them, they have 6 electoral votes – the Constitution grants a Representative to each state whose population is too small to make up a Congressional district.

          • h4rr4r

            That just makes it worse.

    • Left Coast Tom

      It’s prettier if you cruise up and down US-101 (CA-1 where appropriate) than I-5.

      • Jonny On Maui

        Highway 1. Cruise the coast…

    • hudson srinivasan

      true trump certified fact: over centuries never ask about, became neveraska and then nebraska. it’s just easier to say.

    • Bill D. Burger

      Nebraska: Come for the corn, tweekers and bars_____leave because the tornado took you away.

    • Komsumverweigerer Ron

      If it doesn’t, where did I spend those three days back in January ’96?

    • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

      sadly, I’ve driven through it.

  • CripesAmighty

    Well, when he expounds on the need to teach the godly virtues of industry and thrift by yanking trust-fund wastrels from the Aspen slopes and BMWs for transportation to the cornfields I might be impressed, but funny how that component never seems to bubble up.

  • Resistance Ftr PuckStopsHere

    I just read the thing about Putin ordering 755 US Embassy personnel to leave Russia. If he’s so pissed off, why doesn’t he just demand Trump pay him back all the money he owes him?

    • NorthernSaber

      Wonder if Jared had a fun weekend trying to find another back-channel to beg Vlad for more time…

    • Ω cynmac will never surrender

      That’s the nuclear option, the final blow, after the GOP abandons or impeaches him. To destroy the TRMP crime family.

      • wait! what?

        I think Ivanka’s last words will be:

        Why do our new Russian papers say we live in Ekaterinburg and why is my last name now Romanov?

      • NorthernSaber

        Ok- but who plays the role of Barry Goldwater in 2017? Which of these right-wing boot-lickers has the backbone to walk into Moochville and tell Trump there’s a cancer on the Presidency?

        • NOT,K

        • James

          Well, after McCain torpedoing Mitch McConnell’s Wealthcare for Billionaires bill along with Susan Collins and Lisa Murkowski, maybe they might.

          It is sad that Senator McCain will not likely survive to the end of his term, but he has nothing to lose. Murkowski got thrown under the bus in her reëlection campaign by the GOP and won on a write-in campaign, and Susan Collins is really POed the GOP left all the women out of a healthcare debate.

          Or pigs could fly. We’ll have to see.

          • NorthernSaber

            That’s brilliant- McCain, fighting for his life, walks right into the Oval Office and puts a bullet into the Presidency of the compromised idiot who made fun of McCain’s captivity. Beautiful!

    • OrG

      He doesn’t have it. Pooty was hoping for some kind of “barter system”.

  • Jennifer R
    • jesterpunk

      The people who claim real health care is just eating healthy need to be smacked with votes.

    • Komsumverweigerer Ron

      Ye gods and (sorry) little fishes… this is like the stories of people surviving on cat food but 10,000 times worse.

  • BloviateMe

    One hour until Game of Thrones.

    That is all.

    Giggity.

    • Ω cynmac will never surrender

      I don’t have cable, but MST3000 is on OTA Comet channel.

      • NorthernSaber

        That show made a HELL of a lot more sense after living in the Twin Cities for a couple years!

        • Ω cynmac will never surrender

          I paid out to the RiffTrax kickstarter for the new season and I’m getting a box o’ swag soon. They had a special showing of one of the PSA car crash movies on the website and I participated in the quizzes and won a copy of the DVD.
          Thanksgiving is my favorite with the marathon.
          Good times.

    • William
      • BloviateMe

        That’s excellent.

    • akryan

      I’m a masochist, so I refuse to watch the series until the books are finished. I’m just afraid he’ll die before he finishes them.

      • Ω cynmac will never surrender

        The books will never be finished. He’s starting a new TV series. I saw it on the internet.

    • puredog

      Winter is coming! In other news, weather sites say it will be 109 degrees in Portland this Thursday.

      • WomanInThePersistence

        IK, R? Not looking forward to this.

  • Mary Theresa

    A red flag always arises for me when I see a politician pimping a book. To me it means a presidential campaign in the works.

    • Latverian Diplomat

      The bargain bin is full of broken dreams…

      • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

        I swear, we don’t need to mine any fucking coal. We could just burn all of them damn fucking politicians’ books and Ann Couter [sic] books instead. I suppose the country stinks bad enough already, though.

        • boredcatlady

          lol we’re on the same page (groan) with the Ann Coulter books
          :)

      • BosGrl

        I’m going to cross stitch that on a pillow.

      • boredcatlady

        I have mixed feelings when I see the stack of Ann Coulter books at St Vinnies. The unbroken bindings suggest that these were Christmas gifts from conservative relatives went straight to donation, but I sort of feel a responsibility to buy them and throw them away. You know, for the children. :) Plus, somebody put money in that monster’s pocket.

      • WomanInThePersistence

        You might have a bright future writing country songs.

    • Delu

      Kind of a preview of Trump’s primary opponents of 2020.

      Assuming America is still around by then.

      • Ω cynmac will never surrender

        Interesting. Usually a party won’t someone against the sitting prez. If they had 18 clowns in the car in 2016, how many will pop up for 2020?

        • Delu

          Oh I’m sure Trump will be primaried.

          He’s already given lots of reasons to be so.

          As for how many? Look for those who are selling their books now I guess?

    • akryan

      That’s the vibe I get from Al Franken.

      • Mary Theresa

        Oh, definitely, I think he’s going to run in 2020.

        • puredog

          We could do so much worse.
          We have, in fact.

          • cmd resistor

            Indeed.

    • Lark_in_the_AM

      DING*DING*DING – we have a winner, folks!

  • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

    OT: Enjoying another fine cigar with my dwindling cognac. I spent the entire day struggling to get a laptop working and gave up. So, I bought yet another Windows 7 OEM disk and have to start over getting that damned thing working. That always makes me need to have a good drink and a cigar to make me feel better.

    • hudson srinivasan

      i’m in a similar boat trying to get a work mac up and running. my struggle is getting the work IT software to work. i’m doing this on cheap smokes and booze. Hmm. mebbe that is the problem!! Eureka!

      • Ω cynmac will never surrender

        Are you still on that? Have you tried Terminal? There may be some Unix magic you can conjure under the covers.

    • proudgrampa

      Pour the cognac on the laptop and stab the screen with the cigar.

      What the hey? If it doesn’t work, get a new laptop…

      • puredog

        FRONT STAB! FRONT STAB!

        • WomanInThePersistence

          Mooch? Is that you?

          • kareemachan

            Is he doing the fandango?

      • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

        The cognac is so expensive that I was indeed looking at new laptops. So, I’ll try the reinstallation of everything first.

        Working around that big burn mark in the middle of the screen is gonna be a real challenge, I gotta tell ya’! I should have done a corner instead.

    • Ω cynmac will never surrender

      I forced Microsoft to give me one for my Dell netbook bought at Office Depot. Windows 8 had come out and Win7 had been pulled from all the stores. I escalated my call all the way to the wonk level, where they tried to tell me that Win7 was out of warranty. I was all “what do you take me for, fool. You just stopped supporting XP!”. That got me the direct link to the download. Winner, winner, chicken dinner.

      • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

        I am glad to hear that worked out. Windows 8, should have had the Microsoft Management hauled off to The Hague for crimes against humanity!

  • Ooooo! Last Week Tonight is back tonight!

    https://twitter.com/LastWeekTonight/status/891806465572442113

    • BosGrl

      I just don’t know how he’s going to narrow the last week down to 32 minutes. :D

    • clairence

      I love that show. But I have no idea what that tweet means.

  • Nounverb911
    • Bill D. Burger
      • Nounverb911

        Donnie keep a bargain, really? Putin should have known better,

        • Left Coast Tom

          L’il Donnie tried to keep this bargain, for some weird reason. His obsequiousness towards Russia was too much for even this otherwise useless Congress.

      • akryan

        beat me to the comment. poor Vlad didn’t get the memo that Trump cheats everyone he does business with.

        • Bill D. Burger

          Additionally, Putin was always going to discard Trump when convenient. Putin’s goal is weakening the US – Trump is just a foolish and willing pawn in that much larger game.

          • NorthernSaber

            Yep- classic “useful idiot”- a Russian term, IIRC.

    • BosGrl

      “Vile Reince Rant” is my fave.

    • Delu

      Well Trump HAS to Ok the sanctions, I don’t think he’s left with any other choice except to drag his feet on them.

      He’ll sound tough on what Putin did as usual (like on everything else because it cannot be any other way for him), or there will be crickets.

      I’m guessing more the former. Of course everyone, including Putin, knows that hot air will just be hot air. Trump would likely not go any further than flapping his gums, which is the case for just about anything these days.

    • WomanInThePersistence

      So who do you think Trump will appoint as the Official White House Taster?

      • Melania

        • Mary Theresa

          I’m gonna go with Sessions on this one.

        • James

          Melania is smarter than that (and might be his handler anyway)

        • kareemachan

          Sorry, that’s ‘Melanoma’.

      • Bill D. Burger

        Christie’s too obvious….and he’d never stop with just one taste.

      • akryan

        It would have been Spicer or Preibus for sure.

      • aktlib101

        The Mooch. He is the devoted lapdog.

    • Komsumverweigerer Ron

      ‘Mooch’s pooch in vile Reince rant.’
      Somebody should have got a bonus for that.

    • wait! what?

      Looks like Vlad is going to give Donald another “shot.”

    • theCryptofishist

      Yeah, what’s another 72-year-old doing with a 26-year-old wife?

  • William
    • Nounverb911

      AOT,K.

    • Delu

      Don Jr and Ivanka aren’t up there?

    • Delu

      Others who are missing, James Mattis, Rex Tillerson, Rob Muller…

      • Ω cynmac will never surrender

        Not everyone has the same card. For 2016 RNC debate bingo, there were so many cards to choose from. I chose 4 to play and I would have won if one of those clowns had said “Abortion”.

    • Mary Theresa

      Um, Tom Price for $200 Alex.

      • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

        yup, that’s where my money is.

      • Ω cynmac will never surrender

        I can’t wait for Price to go down.

        • Komsumverweigerer Ron

          ISWYDT

    • Michael R

      All of them Katie

    • Canis Greyhame

      Hey that reminds me, why is Sebastian Fucking Gorka still working at the White House in an official capacity, even after his ties to actual fucking Nazi groups were exposed?

      Anyway, here’s an article about ret. Navy admiral, John Kirby, knocking Gorka flat on his Nazi ass just the other day (with words!)
      https://www.vox.com/policy-and-politics/2017/7/28/16058654/john-kirby-tweetstorm-trump-transgender-troop-ban

      • Delu

        Because actual Fucking Nazi groups having ties to the whitehouse is apparently a thing now I guess?

    • Old Man Yells at Cloud

      Dang. I don’t stand a chance. My card has Qusay, Uday, Isvespa and Jared as the 4 corners.

  • Michael R
  • James

    My wife is making pants for me and is getting ready for me to try them out (she likes sewing and orders a lot of patterns from a vintage pattern site). I pointed out “Not now Sweetie, I’m on Wonkette.”

    She said that was okay because she isn’t wearing pants so it evens out. (She has another Penzey’s project for dinner tonight – that article about them here got Penzey’s one loyal customer for sure).

    • WomanInThePersistence

      Thank goodness at least one of you isn’t wearing pants.

      • OutOfOrbit

        donut look at me!

        • kareemachan

          tmI!!!!!!

  • Lark_in_the_AM

    5$F – I am spreading this around to everyone I know. Thank you for telling it like it is.

  • Royal Ugly Dude

    His idea to make people work on farms has merit. I hope he gave credit to Chairman Mao.

    • kareemachan

      ISWYDT

    • theCryptofishist

      Fucking brilliant. *hides glasses.*

    • Ω cynmac will never surrender

      Pol Pot Libelz!!11!1

    • Keith Taylor

      And the Khmer Rouge who even took it a little further.

    • theCryptofishist

      I just want to make sure that everyone knows that I made the first allusion to Cambodia. Although, we have all phrased it in different ways, yeah us!

  • cmd resistor

    I grew up pretty middle class and my first job was making french fries at McDonald’s. ($2.01 per hour). My parents were republicans although my mom was once a dem and reverted after my dad died. They pretty much taught me a basic work ethic although bootstraps were not necessarily required. They sent me to college. I worked some liberal arts degree jobs (including cleaning toilets) and several years later went to law school. I married a guy whose main job was driving trucks. Sometimes I worried I was spoiling my kid but in high school he took a job flipping signs and was reliable and good at it. HE went to college and did work study and was not snooty about hard work. He ended up with a degree in electrical engineering and has a nice job. Do I take credit for this? Not really. When he started his engineering job he also took a weekend job in a restaurant to save up and pay bills. He is not a republican. I’m not exactly sure where I am going with all this. But f-you republicans.

    • Marla

      Kids with law degrees are odd.

      • cmd resistor

        The first lines of my application essay to law school were “I never wanted to be a lawyer. Most lawyers I know have personality disorders.” A friend made me take out the personality disorder part. My point was that I didn’t want to be Perry Mason and work in court but it was true that many lawyers do have mental issues.

        • Marla

          I recently came across a friend from high school who is now an assistant professor of law. She says she would give it all up in heartbeat if should could make a living an a artist.

          Oh, and Perry Mason RAWKS

          Fictional lawyers are always so much better.

          • cmd resistor

            I do remember my mom loved Perry Mason when I was a kid. I just never wanted to be one of those people who get up and do trial stuff. The first time I did a court hearing i counted it a victory because I did not throw up. Fortunately I have found a happy life as a law clerk for judges. Totally nerd behind the scenes job. But if I could make a living making pies (with benefits, too), maybe I would.

          • kareemachan

            I just bought the complete Perry Mason DVD’s at our library’s annual sale. I heart Perry.

    • kareemachan

      Ha! I made $1.85/hr my first job after high school…..

      • cmd resistor

        This was during high school and for some reason we got paid about $.10 less than the regular minimum wage. We didn’t get tips or anything, so I am not sure why.

  • So i spent my day watching Westworld and making food stuffs for for lunches this week. I should have logged in to work to at least do something on the project i’m supposed to be helping on, but i don’t want to

    • jesterpunk

      Are you being paid to work today? If not that can wait until you are and if they want you to work on your time they need to pay extra for that.

      • I would be paif if i logged in. I am currently getting the on call rate as i am the back up lead on call

        • jesterpunk

          I hate on call time, either schedule (and pay) for that time or hire more people to cover it so you dont need on call people. Its basically time spent waiting around hoping you dont have to do any work and time you really cant do much else.

    • Royal Ugly Dude

      You should have spent your youth tasseling corn.

      • clairence

        I did. And I’m still lazing around much of the time.

    • WomanInThePersistence

      You deserve a dammed day off.

    • Komsumverweigerer Ron

      I don’t blame you. Nobody should be expected to work endlessly. I’m not sure it’s even legal.

  • jesterpunk

    Some of the comments here sound like something Republicans say about pot.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iOIKdENEtGo

    • wait! what?

      I choose summer school.

  • bbayliss

    i just sent this email to ben sasse:

    “That was our summer vacation. What do our kids do today?”
    My daughter graduated Phi Beta Kappa, Pi Mu Epsilon, magna cum laude, with a Major in Mathematics and a minor in history in June. Then she went to Emory for six weeks to work in biostatistics, in conjunction with the CDC. She was home for four days and is now in at a mathematics conference in Chicago presenting her undergraduate research ” Investigating Mathematical Properties of Neural Codes.”
    While your daughter was shoulder deep in a cow’s vagina mine was writing extensively about social justice and the first human rights movement that began as a response to King Leopold’s abuses in the Congo.
    She also made time to volunteer tutoring emigrants and drop outs to enable them to receive their GEDs.
    “What do our kids do today?” They try to make the world a better place while hacks like you enrich yourselves at the expense of the American people.
    It is difficult to express the utter lack of respect I have for privileged members of our society who lack the self awareness to even begin to understand how privileged they are.

    • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

      well done and congrats to you and your daughter.

      • bbayliss

        Thanks, she’s the most amazing person I’ve ever known.

        • kareemachan

          I feel the same about our kid. She is AMAZING and doing stuff that will help our planet.

          • bbayliss

            I’d be so pessimistic if I didn’t know they young people I know.

          • Ω cynmac will never surrender

            I am Faceborg friends with a lot of my daughter’s HS classmates. Yeah, I was that adult friend that they could talk to while in HS. Seeing them flourish and start families and have great jobs and interests makes my heart swell.

    • theCryptofishist

      Brava! (Although, the original fight to make slavery illegal in England & by English traitors might be an earlier case.)

      • bbayliss

        I guess I should have said ‘first internationally recognized human rights movement” it was a BIG deal until WW1 came along and knocked it off the front page. There has been a concerted effort to send it down the memory hole.
        “King Leopold’s Ghost” is a great and horrifying resource.

        • theCryptofishist

          Yes, an utterly splendid book that will shake you.

    • Old Man Yells at Cloud

      Don’t be too hard on him, its hard work to win the ovum and sperm lottery. Its not like that happens just by chance… oh, wait, yes it does.

    • James

      You don’t check a cow for pregnancy in that orifice. You do it in the other one. And no sane rancher is going to let Sasse’s daughter do that to one of his cows never having done it before. My guess is while Sasse may have dropped off the daughter at a ranch, she got nowhere near the southbound end of a northbound cow.

      • bbayliss

        I’ll never forget the expression on my daughter and her friends faces when we attended a demonstration at the State Fair.

      • proudgrampa

        The story did seem rather improbable…

    • Zyxomma

      Well said, and well done.

  • Bill D. Burger
  • Left Coast Tom

    I’m assuming this is the Open Thread…

    View from my campsite yesterday, “Five Lakes Basin”, in Tahoe NF’s Grouse Ridge roadless area.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/ac0836c96fc20fd7e86ced1746fe391c39ae98979b745448c8549d94306f97e4.jpg

    • The Wanderer

      That’s beautiful. It makes all the shit I’ve had to put up with today just melt. In fact, I almost said “Verweile doch, du bist zu schoen!” but my soul would have been instantly forfeit.

      • theCryptofishist

        Faust? Bist du das?

    • wait! what?

      Is that where the Lady of the Lake took back her sword so Donald couldn’t get it?

    • NorthernSaber

      I swear, you are the Wonketeriat’s official nature photographer. Once again you make me both wish I was there and feel that I am, at least a little bit. Thanks!

    • Komsumverweigerer Ron

      Gods, I miss living next to the lake. I just want to climb into that picture with an air mattress and a cooler full of diet Vanilla Coke and a waterproofed iPad.

    • proudgrampa

      Sweet!

  • Marla

    How I so wish I had a tab or two to drop right now.

    (eases the Trump paranoia and anxiety if only for a while)

  • Ms.MLG on Maui

    For someone with such a fancy education, he sure does deal in a lot of idiotic stereotypes.

    • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

      whatever happened to “elitists!” when it came to degrees and edumucation anyway?

      • Old Man Yells at Cloud

        If you want to use your education or help others to get educated you are an elitist.

    • Marla

      When one has the “best brain” this is to be expected.

    • bbayliss

      pays the bills.

      • Ms.MLG on Maui

        Don’t it though?

    • hudson srinivasan

      these are folks who prolly got access to founts of knowledge despite their interest. But they they were all along interested in fame/money. And never about knowldge or human condition. They don’t want to advance either of them. That’s not where the money is. Smart money is in being expedient.

      How do I say this? There is no school to produce Abe Lincoln.

  • William
    • The Wanderer

      Okay, I just derped.

    • Martini Ambassador 🍸

      Not sure I’m getting how this is Sunday sport, but then again, maybe I do.

    • therblig

      just how thick is this wall going to be?

      asking for a friend.

  • kareemachan

    You know what I did in highschool summers?

    1. Cleaned houses.
    2. Worked at a a saw mill.
    3. Worked on the green chain of a saw milll.
    4. Got effing carpal syndrome from working summers at a saw mill

    BUT

    5. Ended up graduating from college without any debt because I worked at an effing saw mill for four summers.

    • Dick St. Dipshit

      I lasted two weeks flipping sawn logs behind the edger. Damn near killed me.

      • kareemachan

        I’m just pissed cuz I WORKED to put myself through college – and I was the first woman to work in the saw mill in Raymond. Iwanka? NOT. SO. MUCH.

    • James

      What I did:

      a) picked rocks in fields
      b) scythed weeds
      c) delivered newspapers (but I did that all year)

      BUT

      d) I joined the Navy without any debt because college was way out of reach in my single parent family, despite graduating second in my class.

      • kareemachan

        My SO would agree with you. I just am PO’ed that as a female, I was booted from more than one job cuz I was…. a female.

    • yyyaz

      Way extra upfists for the green chain. Lowest-paid, for newbies only, most dangerous job in the mill.

    • Ω cynmac will never surrender

      Yeah, back in the olden days, you could afford college on what you made from your summer job.

    • Querolous

      The day after my 16th birthday I started working graveyard shifts Friday and Saturdays during the school year and full time in the summer at a sawmill. This was in the day of wig-wam burners. Those things had to run 24 hours a day. The air came in through tunnels. The tunnels were topped with 50 or so cast iron grates. each weighing about 240 lbs new that would burn down to ~180 lbs in a week. I would go into the burner with the fire burning above my head with 2 grates at a time and replace them. This was after I had shoveled out the slag from the dirt that had sifted down through the grates and collected a foot or more deep in the tunnel. That was sufficient incentive for me to do well in HS and make it into college.

      • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

        Shit! And here I am, complaining about milking cows…

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      I milked cows. Lots and lots of cows.

      Did I mention how much I hate cows?

    • BillEGoatSmirk

      When I wasn’t towing the line and applying at college (that no one could afford anyway, so why bother), I got chucked into working in the basement of a linen mill in 105 degree heat stuffing those cute cat calendars/dish towels into boxes for $2.06 per hour. Fun! Found myself a junior college shortly thereafter, (and yes, loans), tout suite.

  • Bill D. Burger

    “Welcome to Fantasy Island.”

    (*Wuz’ tired of insulting The Twilight Zone.)

    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DGAfp57U0AAGOHZ.jpg

    • theCryptofishist

      Hm. I guess they decided that if they had no necks, they could be neither beheaded nor hanged.

    • Ω cynmac will never surrender

      Tattoo Libelz!!1!111 Hey boss, da plane! Da Plane!!

    • BillEGoatSmirk

      Back in the 1970’s, my mother and I would watch Love Boat and then Fantasy Island on Saturday nights after dear-old-dad would pass out in total drunken stupidity. We dreamed of better places…THIS ISN’T IT! (But it’s still funny!)

  • Bill D. Burger
    • hudson srinivasan

      he obviously changed clothes for the photo-op.

      • Marla

        Yes, too conservative for bondage gear.

  • Yeah, it’s not like the Senate planned to take the entirety of August off until they got into a healthcare-killing frenzy.

    • jesterpunk

      Ben should spend his vacation doing some work in a fast food restaurant for minimum wage and try and survive just on that to get some humility.

      • I keep being told that’s summer work for kids to get extra spending money. There sure are a lot of old kids working at the Burger King I frequent.

        • jesterpunk

          If working in fast food is only for kids to earn extra money who runs the place when kids are in school or does the things kids cant? Also who manages the place?

    • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

      That’s important hiding from constituents time.

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸
    • Delu

      Right, who had any sort of expectations for either of them to begin with again?

      • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

        Just the usual chattering class.

      • cmd resistor

        Not me for sure.

    • Nounverb911

      Just think of what they can accomplish while they are in adjoning wings of Danbury Prison….

    • wait! what?

      Mission Confefed!

    • BigCSouthside

      That’s been her life’s motto

    • Ms.MLG on Maui
      • Ω cynmac will never surrender

        I loved Mad TV.

        • Ms.MLG on Maui

          Me too. Stuart!!

          • Ω cynmac will never surrender

            Looka lika man!

    • jesterpunk

      Damn you Ivanka, I tried to figure out what is lower then nothing and this happened to my house.

      https://images-cdn.9gag.com/photo/90489_700b.jpg

      • theCryptofishist

        Vortex. You better have the exterminator in.

      • The Wanderer

        Call Captain Jack Harkness, you just found his vortex manipulator.

        • jesterpunk

          Which one though? There are always 2 Captain Jack’s on earth at any given time.

          • The Wanderer

            The Boe. I hear he gives great face.

      • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

        I told you to never, ever, divide by zero.

  • Nounverb911
    • Delu

      Don’t tell me this is the “thousands of Muslims in New Jersey” effect?

      • wait! what?

        We have thousands of Muslim diplomats in Russia?

        • Delu

          No but we have thousands of them cheering in the streets of new Jersey when the planes hit on 9/11.

          Apparently.

          • jesterpunk

            I thought the planes hit on 7/11?

            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aj_IsiMA4G4

          • Delu

            Freudian slip.

            The mouth never closes indeed.

            Rush Hour.

            Jackie Chan (speaking to another black guy in Chinese): “Why do you call him the human 7/11?” (referring to Chris Tucker)

            Black Guy (replying in Chinese): “Because his mouth never closes.”

          • wait! what?

            GWB said it best when he burped:

            What about Poland?!

          • jesterpunk
          • wait! what?

            …he also failed the sovereignty challenge.

          • MilwaukeeKent

            Thousands of cheering Russian Muslim diplomats in NJ? I’m restarting getting confused again!

          • Delu

            Who knows if they were Russian Muslims or Russian diplomats.

            Trump didn’t say.

          • wait! what?

            I just wanna know whose gonna pay for the Jersey Wall.

          • therblig

            they’re all here in jersey city. we have very large rooftops.

            then again, we also have…
            https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/7c75f2f564778f25d6ee1dc6444551356f88e20880b451c101bc8658ecf59f28.jpg

          • BosGrl

            Why did I immediately think that was a Simplicity pattern envelope?

          • House0fTheBlueLights

            I thought so too :)

        • proudgrampa

          I’m confused…

          So we have millions of Muslims in Russia who want to emigrate to New Jersey?

          • wait! what?

            New Jersey is kinda close to Georgia; isn’t Georgia in the Soviet Union?

    • jesterpunk

      Putin means Trump has to cut 755 people from his administration staff.

      • Delu

        Anyone know what the numbers are in Russian?

        I keep thinking maybe “covfefe” is actually Russian for 755.

        • jesterpunk

          Семь пять пять

          • Delu

            Is that pronounced “Covfefe”?

          • javadavis

            Try, roughly, ‘syem, pyat, pyat’ – means seven five five.

          • javadavis

            You’re just saying the integers!

    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      Trump math…

  • (((fka_donnie_d)))

    Ben, I’m sorry you got the world’s most horrible last name. Please stop taking it out on the rest of us.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GHo-IH2c2Cw

  • BigCSouthside

    So assange is going after Mueller, and I just read an article that basically says we’re only a few “labor camps” away from being a Nazi-esque state.

    Gonna be a good week

    • jesterpunk

      What is this weeks theme?

      • theCryptofishist

        Crayola! What a lot of Crayons there are!

        • jesterpunk

          Isnt the right mad at Crayola for removing some color?

          • javadavis

            The right is mad, all right. We do mean ‘barking’ here, right?

          • The Wanderer

            Madder than Mad Jack MacMad, the winner of the All-Britain Madman Competition.

          • theCryptofishist

            Yeah, but their brains cannot handle anything new, so there can be no other crayon brand in their tiny brains. Well, at least until some right wing moms make some sort of better, more patriotic crayons, of course.

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      Assenge is a monumental asshole. Why do I say that? Well look at his name. I always think of some huge stone monument in the UK somewhere. At each solstice and equinox, all of the worlds worst assholes congregate there for secret rituals and shit.

      It’s called AssHenge. Thusly, Assenge’s surname was inspired. Maybe assholes congregate at the Equadoran Embassy. If they don’t know, they should start.

      (It’s the Remy talking.)

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      Um, yeah, ask the Black community and their opinion on the prison industrial complex about that.

  • James

    I go off briefly for drink number two, and there are another hundred and nine non-comments here.

    I give up. I’m going to ask my wife to program my computer to snark for me.

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      Can I beta test that?

      • sw19hoofywoofy

        James’s wife?

        • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

          Shame on you. My days of beta testing other men’s wives are long over.

        • Shucky Ducky

          Try the veal! Tip your waitress!

      • James

        You’d need my wife’s permission to beta test her.

        • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

          Would it that I not be an oldz.

  • vivian

    He really puts the ass in Sasse.

  • Bill D. Burger

    Saw this earlier and then saw some additional information.
    [ Anthony Scaramucci Follows Gay Porn Star Blake Mitchell on Twitter!!!
    BY JAMES ST. JAMES ON JULY 28, 2017 2:09 PM

    We’ve just learned that White House Communications Director Anthony Scaramucci is a Twitter follower (and big fan) of gay porn star/twink god Blake Mitchell. Mitchell just noticed the follow (“Wait… what?” was his adorable response), and Twitter monitoring website DOESFOLLOW confirmed it.

    Suddenly Scaramucci’s crack about Bannon sucking his own cock takes on a whole new meaning…]
    Also, just a leisurely stroll through his follow list: He follows RuPaul, Cher, Paris Hilton, Hey Qween TV, Britney Spears, Rihanna, Kingsley, James Charles, Ross Matthews, Scott from Superfruit, Pop Sugar Beauty, Gwen Stefani, Wayne Goss (celebrity MUA), etc. __ and I only scrolled through the first 100 that popped up in his follow list.
    Maybe he just collects followers and auto follows in return?

    btw: Let me add that there is nothing wrong with anything here. Mooch has a healthy and obviously very, very versatile interest in sex___ and enjoys following a lot of very funlovin’ folk. Gotta’ applaud him on that point.
    Amazing how quickly he’s become Mr. Rightie who supports everything that Trump ‘supports’__and I’m sure just as devoutly.

    https://unicornbooty.com/anthony-scaramucci-blake-mitchell/

    http://worldofwonder.net/breaking-news-anthony-scaramucci/?utm_source=fark&utm_medium=website&utm_content=link&ICID=ref_fark

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      Trump’s scumbag supporters would never stop loving Scaramoocher until Trump starts hating on him.