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Graham’s GOT IT FIGURED.

There was a fascinating hearing Thursday in the Senate Judiciary Committee that you might have missed if you were distracted by Skinny Repeal and Anthony Scaramucci’s love for the president. The committee hosted Bill Browder, head of Hermitage Capital Management, who used to be the biggest foreign investor in Russia, and who has been an outspoken whistleblower in support of the Magnitsky Act, which we’ve learned ALL ABOUT the past few weeks. It’s the law passed to punish Russian human rights abusers who murdered Browder’s lawyer Sergei Magnitsky in a Russian prison, for the crime of exposing MASSIVE fraud and corruption perpetrated by Vladimir Putin and his band of merry oligarchs. In fact, part of the fraud Magnitsky and Browder uncovered was a scheme where Russia officials stole Browder’s company and gave THEMSELVES refunds out of the taxes Browder’s company had paid to the Russian government. (There’s way more to it than that, but nutshell.) Putin even got some of it! Screw you, Browder! Screw you, ACTUAL Russian government. HOORAY, PUTIN AND HIS FRIENDS!

Before Magnitsky died of completely natural causes murder in jail, the Russians tried to coerce him into signing a false confession saying HE and BILL BROWDER stoled those millions of Russian tax money rubles.

In response to the Magnitsky Act, Putin banned Americans from adopting BOUNCY RUSSIAN BABIES. If you’ll remember, that’s what Donald Trump Jr. and Jared Kushner and Paul Manafort discussed with Russian anti-Magnitsky crusader lawyer Natalia Veselnitskaya at Trump Tower on June 9, 2016. It’s also allegedly what Donald Trump chit-chatted with Putin about on the sidelines of the G20, during the sexxxy after-dinner meeting they didn’t tell the press about.

Browder told senators that repeal of the Magnitsky Act is Putin’s “single most important foreign policy priority,” and that it’s personal for him, because many of the oligarchs sanctioned under the act are LITERALLY HOLDING PUTIN’S MONEY. The act has made all these Russians financial pariahs, because on top of how they’re not allowed to do business with American banks, people on the Treasury Department’s OFAC list of sanctioned individuals tend to be shunned worldwide financially. Bad news for multi-gabillionaires who make their money from crime and fraud and money laundering!

Browder testified to all of this and more in Thursday’s Senate hearing. And during his testimony, Republican senators like known dumbfucks Chuck Grassley and Lindsey Graham used Browder to advance the GOP’s new counter-narrative about the REAL STORY of conspiracies between Trump and Russia, which is that the story itself is a Russian hoax. BET YOU DIDN’T SEE THAT COMING! (Except how Rachel Maddow started forecasting this weeks ago.)

So, here is the bouncing ball you need to be able to follow to understand what these Republicans are doing, and why it’s bullshit. Let’s bullet point it:

  • Natalia Veselnitskaya, who met with Trump Jr. and is an anti-Magnitsky Act crusader, is a lawyer for the Katsyv family, whom Browder describes as a “Putin regime” family.
  • The Katsyv family owns Prevezon, the company New York U.S. Attorney Preet Bharara was prosecuting for YOOOOOGE FRAUD when he was fired by Trump. Veselnitskaya was on the team representing Prevezon.
  • Fusion GPS, a strategic intelligence firm, was hired by the law firm BakerHostetler, which was also representing Prevezon. Fusion GPS worked on the Prevezon case for a couple of years.
  • Since Prevezon is owned by a “Putin regime” family, it’s safe to say Fusion GPS, in a roundabout way, was doing work for the Russian government.
  • Fusion GPS was also hired to do oppo research on Trump during the 2016 election, first by Republicans during the primary, then by Democrats.
  • Fusion contracted with Christopher Steele, a former MI6 spy with a stellar reputation in the US intelligence world, to do its work. (FOR THE TRUMP CLIENTS. NOT FOR PREVEZON.)
  • Steele found HELLA LOTS OF SHIT, and started compiling what is now known as the Steele Dossier. In fact, what he found concerned him so much he kept working on it even after his contract was up. He was so freaked, he eventually got it into the hands of Mother Jones reporter David Corn before the election. Nobody was paying attention because BUT HER EMAILS!
  • You get it? Fusion GPS, a hired intelligence firm, had TWO SEPARATE CLIENTS, much like lawyers are known to work with clients who have never met each other. Sometimes they do this flagrantly, as if “being lawyers” is their job.

Now, let’s watch some hearing! Chuck Grassley teed up the GOP’s bullshit counter-narrative, which is meant to confuse you. (Video is of the entire hearing, but Grassley is at the very beginning.)

Grassley stated that Prevezon “hired Fusion GPS, which then created dossiers [The secret word of the day is “DOSSIER”!] to smear the whistleblowers involved.” The insinuation here is that if Fusion GPS made dossiers for this Russian company, then ALL ITS DOSSIERS ARE BOUGHT AND PAID FOR BY THE RUSSIANS, even ones for non-Russian clients! Therefore, that must mean the Trump Pee Hooker Russian Conspiracy Steele Dossier is a Russian hoax!

(ASIDE: Grassley also brought up another Russian company Bill Clinton did a speech for, because it’s important to say “Clinton” occasionally, to make things about the Clintons. By the way, did you hear the HOUSE Judiciary Committee wants the Justice Department to appoint a DIFFERENT ROBERT MUELLER, to do investigations into Hillary? When, oh when, will the American Psychological Association classify Clinton Derangement Syndrome as an actual mental illness?)

Anyway, as we said, Grassley just teed it up at the beginning. It was Lindsey Graham who took the idiot ball and ran with it.

Gonna throw a gigantic transcript right at your face. We will of course editorial comment throughout, because we can’t help ourselves:

GRAHAM: You believe that Fusion GPS should have registered under FARA [Foreign Agents Registration Act] because they were acting on behalf of the Russians … So I just want to absorb that for a moment. [ABSORB IT, LINDSEY.] The group that did the dossier on President Trump hired this British spy, wound up getting it to the FBI [VIA YOUR PAL JOHN MCCAIN, WHO OBVIOUSLY THOUGHT IT WAS IMPORTANT]. You believe they were working for the Russians.

BROWDER: In the spring and summer of 2016, they were receiving money indirectly from a senior Russian government official.

GRAHAM: OK. So these are the people that were trying to undermine Donald Trump, by showing he had nefarious ties to Russia. Is that what you’re saying? [We are pretty sure Chuck Grassley burped out “yup” off camera right then, but not 100%.]

BROWDER: What I’m saying with 100% certainty is that they were working to undermine the Magnitsky Act, and the timing of that … [In other words, no that is not what he was saying, LINDSEY.]

GRAHAM: The Fusion GPS products, apparently is they hired a guy to look into Trump, right?

BROWDER: Yes. Correct.

GRAHAM: And the guy looking into Trump was trying to tell the world that Turmp’s compromised by the Russians […]

Why’s this important? The Russians are behind Fusion GPS, who are going after Trump!

[Still not what dude said.]

GRAHAM: So here’s the deal in June of last year. [At this point, Graham is grinning like he found a shiny gold coin in his stool.] Allegedly, [Natalia Veselnitskaya] is meeting with Don Jr., and the premise of the meeting was the Russian government’s behind Trump, and you need to meet with these people, they can help your campaign. And Don Trump says, “I love it!” And they met with this lady.

[And now Browder has a look on his face like “where on earth are we going with this …”]

So SHE’S workin’ for the Russians, and she’s trying to communicate with her oligarch friends that the Russians are on Trump’s side. We’ve got an email to that effect …

It is weird how Fusion GPS was able to trick Don Trump Jr. into writing “an email to that effect” saying “I LOVE IT” to the chance of conspiring with the Russian government for “dirt” on Hillary Clinton, and how Hillary Clinton conspired with Russia to trick him into that too, while also conspiring to lose herself the election.

Anyway, Graham, having jumbled these facts together all cattywampus in ways he hopes you don’t notice (or that he doesn’t understand himself, perhaps because he’s had too much Jameson), decided to get the very good and valid witness to agree with him on a very good and valid point that is ENTIRELY UNRELATED TO THE EVIDENCE PRESENTED IN THIS HEARING:

GRAHAM: Is it common for Russia to play both sides against the middle?

BROWDER: Um, yes. What you need to understand about the Russians is that there is no ideology at all. They’re just in the business of — Vladimir Putin is in the business of trying to create chaos everywhere.

GRAHAM: So … you believe Fusion GPS is actually backed by the Russians [dude still didn’t say that], they’re trying to create, find dirt on Trump [for a different client]. Uh, you believe this Russian lawyer Natalia’s workin’ for the Russians. She has been introduced to Don Jr. by a business partner of the Trumps, saying the Russian government’s behind you, they want to help you, you need to meet with this lady. That’s kinda interesting.

WHOA IF TRUE! IT’S A CONSPIRACY! REPUBLICANS DONE MADE A SMART AND FIGURED IT ALL OUT! Prevezon, which is Russian, hired the lady lawyer Natalia Veselnitskaya, who is Russian, and they hired Fusion GPS to work on their case, ERGO anybody else who hires Fusion is working with the Russians, because Fusion represented a Russian one time.

If THAT is the criteria for discrediting somebody, then we need to get rid of all of Donald Trump’s cabinet members and nominees and lawyers who ever worked for Russians, which is ALL OF THEM KATIE.

Now this is weird and stupid and convoluted, but lazy “journalists” are picking it up. RealClearPolitics has an incorrect headline about this hearing, which says Fusion was “acting on behalf of Russia” in its creation of the Steele Dossier. WAY TO READ, DICKHEADS.

Elsewhere in the hearing, a couple of interesting points were made when Democratic Senator Sheldon Whitehouse questioned Bill Browder. The Russians lobbying Donald Trump Jr. have been working to repeal the Magnitsky Act for years, both with Russia-loving congressmen like Dana Rohrabacher and directly with Trump people. The senators on the committee found this funny, in a bipartisan way, because there’s not a chance in hell they’re going to do that. Whitehouse pointed out, though, that the president does have the power to remove names from that OFAC sanctions list. So … let’s just say a SKINNY REPEAL possibility exists, where the law could stand, but Putin’s buddies could find themselves magically stricken from the list if Trump was wanting to, oh we dunno, fulfill some sort of quid pro quo he has with Putin, ALLEGEDLY. (For the record, Whitehouse said Congress is looking at closing that loophole right now.)

Whitehouse also asked Browder how important it is to follow the money in sussing out Russian interference in our election, and Browder replied, “Following the money is key to ALL of these type situations.” So we guess special counsel Robert Mueller is on the right track right now!

No wonder Donald Trump is so fucking spooked.

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  • TJ Barke

    Fuck you republican scum! You’re all fucking traitors.

    • Marla

      Every god damn one of them.

    • calliecallie

      This! Time a bazillion.

  • DainBramage

    It’s all about supply and demand. The GOP demand billionaire shadow leaders to buy them off. Putin’s Russia is merely supplying them.

  • Oblios_Cap

    In response, Putin banned Americans from adopting BOUNCY RUSSIAN BABIES.

    So what? They were all Vegan butthole yodeling babies.

    • Latverian Diplomat

      Vegan? Probably not. Vodka-swilling, chain-smoking babies, that I’ll believe.

      • Augustus

        Vodka is vegan

        • Latverian Diplomat

          I guess technically, tobacco is too. You win this round.

  • Indiepalin

    Lindsey Graham is now saying that another health care bill, called the Bulimic Repeal is being put together as we speak at a DC Golden Corral.

  • memzilla Ω

    I’m personally waiting to see Twitler’s next real estate deal, Trump Leavenworth.

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      It’ll be yoooge, believe me. Gold plated bars. Everyone’s talking about it more and more.

  • Mr. Blobfish

    And to think, all this because Obama made fun of trump.

  • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

    The more they try to defend The Orange Dodo, the worse the are going to look, as the truth keeps coming out, drip, drip, drip.

  • Latverian Diplomat

    “Fusion GPS has GPS in its name…GPS systems use satellites…the Russians have satellites…it all adds up!”
    — Chuck Grassley

  • BloviateMe

    I hope Mueller is making sure everything he’s investigating is in multiple hands. I fear for him.

    • guppy06

      Except for Bannon, who Scaramucci informed us doesn’t need ’em any more.

  • canes_pugnaces

    Lady Lindsey, the Down Country Tramp, and her band of caterwauling reality deniers, have decided that what’s most important to Americans is a party that exclusively licks the capacious ass of the Orange pussy-grabber. And that, apparently, is enough.

  • Oblios_Cap

    Just another day on Bullshit Mountain.

  • Joe Beese

    Yes, while our thoughts have been elsewhere, Mueller and his Murderers’ Row have been patiently, tirelessly, remorselessly inching their way to the maggoty heart of Trump Inc.

    Gives you a glow, doesn’t it?

    • BloviateMe

      It does put a certain spring in my step, no doubt about it.

    • The KGB Ate Our Votes

      Sean Hannity told me all of Mueller’s team of investigators and attorneys are big lib Hillary donors.
      Hannity: “They are all left wing liberals who donated to Hillary and Obama”
      Guest: “Half donated to Democrats. Half didn’t”
      .
      .
      Hannity (interrupts) : “Here. Here. My assistant looked up the names for me.”
      Guest: “So what are the numbers?”
      Hannity: “SEVEN out of fifteen”
      Guest: “So, like I said, half”
      Hannity: — “Do you have trouble sleeping? You need to try My Pillow™’

      • LesBontemps

        Not for nothing, Donald Trump also too donated to Democrats, so he’s obviously behind the effort to undermine Donald Trump.

  • Latverian Diplomat

    John Adams defended the British soldiers accused of murder after the Boston Massacre, so he was always working for the crown, therefore The Declaration of Independence was actually a devious plot by George III!
    — GOP logic applied to American History

    • BloviateMe

      John Adams is doing good things, getting more and more attention. Good friend of mine.

      • DainBramage

        I hear his cousin Samuel makes a decent beer. People are saying that.

        • WIDTAP

          I hear Samuel is hopped up are barley, and is known for wasting perfectly good tea, bigly.

      • eka

        He’s friends with fred douglass and benny franklin, right? I know that guy. Bit of a poser, but I guess he’s okay.

    • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

      Colonial Deep State!

    • guppy06

      Did you just go full LaRouche?

      • Latverian Diplomat

        Well the GOP has, apparently.

  • Toomush_Inferesistance

    Oh, Lindsey, Lindsey, Lindsey……this will never work. It’s still a boomerang, not a stick…

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
    • ImGoingBacon

      ‘You know nothing, John Snow’ libels!!

  • Blackest Noobs

    O/T: Loud Talker at the Library.

    Loud Talker receives a phone call. then in a voice so loud even people outside can hear it he says ” What’s Up, Gary?” He says that at my count 7 times. oh wait said it again…8 times…says “Yeah” “Huh” “Yeah” dude walks outside….I still can hear him.

    like where’s this guy’s inside voice….WHERE I ASK YOU???? WHERE DAMNIT????

    • Suttree

      Didn’t have an unabridged OED to throw at his head?

      • Blackest Noobs

        Nice.

    • jodyleek

      My husband literally cannot whisper. His voice booms and he’s got very little ability to modulate it. But, talking on the cellphone in the library?!? Grrrrrrrr! Ruffles all my old lady feathers!

  • Zonath

    But what if, in attempting to make it look like Trump colluded with the Russians, they accidentally got Trump to actually collude with the Russians?

    • TJ Barke
    • DainBramage

      The FBI does this all the time to incompetent hotheads who imagine themselves blowing stuff up.

    • Vincent Ricola

      He was powerless against Hillary and her genius council of sick old lady assassins and George Soros!

    • Suttree

      Those questions are bound to go unasked.

    • MrTusks

      “They’re trying to make it look like you colluded with the Russians.”
      “I colluded with the Russians, right.”
      “No, they wanted it to look like that.”
      “Like what?”
      “You collude with the Russians.”
      “Collude with the Russians, will do.”
      “No, DON’T do that.”
      “Do what?”

  • Jgb979

    Was it aliens too?

    http://i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/facebook/000/158/329/9189283.jpg

    So much work to defend a man who told a sex boat orgy story to 12 year olds.

    • OddMan

      Holding an invisible watermelon, always sophisticated. Much better than taking off your glasses and pointing, some say.

  • UncleTravelingMatt

    OT, but Holy Shit: A guy showed up in court (evidently to ask the judge for more time to pay his fines) visibly intoxicated at 830. His Honor had him hauled to the jail to blow. Results: .312/.316.

    At 845 AM. In the morning.

    ETA: His lawyer is fucking furious. I can hear him yelling back in the jail. “You had to do ONE FUCKING THING!”

    • Jgb979

      That’s less “in the morning” as it is a series of never ending nights.

      I’d 100% be in a coma

    • Wild Cat

      Was there any blood in his alcohol?

    • Suttree

      He showed up didn’t he?!

      • BigCSouthside

        Seriously if you blow that high but still get there. Damn

        • UncleTravelingMatt

          Yeah, looks like that’s gonna cost him a DUI. Cops are out looking at his truck right now.

          • Suttree

            Oh jeez. He isn’t smart enough to say he sat in the parking lot drinking before he came in?

          • Good_Gawd_Yall

            What’s your best guess?

          • Suttree

            I lived in New Orleans for 20 years. These things come naturally to me.

          • UncleTravelingMatt

            He can try, but there are cameras in the parking lot.

      • UncleTravelingMatt

        Unfortunately, he got there before his lawyer did, so there was nobody there to tell him “Sit here, don’t talk to anyone, and breathe through your nose.”

      • guppy06

        Corollary to Wonk-Mom’s Rules: Never fail to appear sober.

        • Suttree

          Never fail to appear sober.
          -ftfy

    • Latverian Diplomat

      One of my buddies said, “hey, if you are nervous about that court appearance, just have one or two beforehand to steady your nerves.” I thought he meant kegs.

    • guppy06

      Wonkett-O’s: breakfast of champions!

    • LesBontemps

      Drunk in the morning? Maybe he’s been reading Wonket?

  • guppy06

    GOP’s new counter-narrative about the REAL STORY of conspiracies between Trump and Russia, which is that the story itself is a Russian hoax.

    Ah, I recognize the Last Thursdayism School.

    • tomamitai

      Is well known Matryoshka scheme of nested Russian plots, used all the time in cold war and your better spy novels.

  • Crystalclear12

    Unfortunately, I was unable to read parts of this article due to rage blindness but from what I was able to read some poor rat is getting fucked again?

    • LesBontemps

      Also too a chicken.

  • Latverian Diplomat

    The GOP turned to a strategy of confusing the issue after the only reductive rhyming slogan they could come up with was:
    If the logic makes sense
    We must swear in Pence

  • Scooby

    If they could somehow work Hillary Clinton into this I might believe it.

    • Latverian Diplomat

      Every time they get close, she murders Vince Foster again.

      • ImGoingBacon

        Vince gets murdered more than the zombies on TWD and FTWD combined! GOT also too.

    • LesBontemps

      Hillary emailed Ben Ghazi to tell him about the pee hookers.

  • BJW

    Thanks for the explanation Evan. Because WOWOW is everything getting (staying?) confused.

  • Suttree

    Miss Lindsey certainly has a flair for baffle ’em (the rubes) with bullshit. I would love to slap his mint julip out of his hand, if I saw him try that shit in public.

  • Latverian Diplomat

    “So, sir, since you are a person with deep knowledge of and experience with Russian criminality, please sit still and say nothing while I blather on about self-serving irrelevancies. That’s what we GOP members of this committee call ‘investigation'”.
    — Lindsey Graham

  • StlSaxist

    Trump can’t stop sanctions on Russia. They may as well release the Pee tape.

  • gallbladder

    Has Lindsey made his way to Benghazi and e-mails yet? I hear that stuff’s a veritable powder keg of left-wing fascism.

    • notanncoulter

      but what the american people really want to know is, why did hillary teapot dome americans?

  • Skwerl the Taco Hunter
    • Royal Ugly Dude

      Tommy Carcetti libel!!

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Vlad doesn’t have the hots for Catelyn.

    • Edith Prickly

      Littlefinger libelzz!

      • Msgr_MΩment

        NO LITTLEFINGERS NO LITTLEFINGERS YOU’RE THE LITTLEFINGERS.

    • WIDTAP

      Petyr has better taste in women, but both have established their power base with pee hookers, so…hmmm.

    • Little hands have little fingers…

  • Blackest Noobs

    so the idea this is all on Russia might have had some merits if only the person in question wasn’t a person who was known for playing dirty in business pretty much all the fucking time.

    basically what they are proposing is thin…VERY THIN.

  • Good_Gawd_Yall

    For the sake of clarity, I feel that Sen. Whitehouse should be urged to change his last name to something with no connection to the “White House,” like Sen. Sideboob van Finklestein.

  • fawkedifiknow

    Is it just me, or does Graham strike you as someone who is mighty impressed with himself when he is preening on the tee vee?

    • Latverian Diplomat

      “I don’t want to say Senator Graham is vain, but the reason we don’t allow mirrors around the office isn’t because he’s a vampire.”
      — An anonymous staffer, probably?

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Most dangerous place in DC: in between a Senator and a camera.

      • Good_Gawd_Yall

        I’ve heard there are places in that city that are complete no-go zones. It’s true. More and more people are talking about it.

        • bupkus231

          Capitol Hill? It’s a war zone, man….

  • LesBontemps

    Fusion GPS was also hired to do oppo research on Trump during the 2016 election, first by Republicans during the primary,

    Wait, tell me why this isn’t a Republican conspiracy.

    • TJ Barke

      Cuz!

    • Covfefe

      IOKIYAR.

    • Latverian Diplomat

      “And Trump won anyway. And I never even got my money back, even when I asked in my most forceful, demanding tone.”
      — Jeb Bush

      • Villago Delenda Est

        Rumor has it that Jeb commissioned the Steele Dossier and wound up not using it, for some obscure reason.

        • Latverian Diplomat

          “Getting peed on by Russian hookers? Who hasn’t done that! Get me something I can use!”
          — Jeb Bush?

          • LesBontemps

            “And please clap.”

    • WotsAllThisThen

      Hillary must have tricked them too.

  • Everrett Fanuelli

    Just wish a Dem senator would chime in once and say, “Can you please stop with this nonsense?”

  • Bruno Clabot

    At this side of the pond, I believe about 70% trully believe this is a hoax. I’m one of them. Honestly, the democrats managed very well to get rid of the accusations instead of being charged. Just look at what Hellary was doing with the Russians… And look at the attempt the democrats did to make a coup against Trump… This starts to smell fishy. Merkel is not a great friend of US any longer, and remember, Shroeder former PSD chancelier happens to be a good friend of Putin. Europe is about to turn its back on US and their puppets in Ukraine. It is just for Putin to manage to get M. chocolate out of Kiev and all will be fine for Russia. For US… I don’t know. If you remain with the extreme right regimes of Europe as the only one loving the Trump out of you… you just lost your biggest ally. Just remember, Baltic states account for 5% of EU population… Germany for 25%. The second round of sanctions is a very bad idea.

    • Oblios_Cap

      Wow. Your English is pretty good, comrade!

      • Latverian Diplomat

        I’d ask him who won the ’97 World Series, but hell if I know.

        • Everrett Fanuelli

          Florida Marlins

          • Oblios_Cap

            To an almost empty stadium, I imagine.

        • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

          New Jersey Generals?

          • It was Vladivostok Cosmonauts. On last minute bunt goal. Da!

    • Everrett Fanuelli

      Looks like someone hired a better copywriter for the trolls!

      • Bruno Clabot

        You see, sometimes you wished you could help but the conditions are not met, whichever they may be.
        The fact that I live in Brussels and have not any link with Russia except for my personal bias maybe, tells a lot about the fact that there is a real problem in USA about finding virtual ennemies to distract the attention of the masses.
        I may like Russia, just like you love Hellary. I didn’t insult any of you for having their own preferences.
        People in US must be really unhappy to come to such hatred online. I am really sorry.
        After I visited US I was in love with it. Now, I think I have to trust one of my American colleagues who told me the kindness was just a facade and he hated his fellow citizens for the games they play of self righteousness. I wouldn’t go so far, as hating is just destroying part of you and not affecting anyone but you.
        I just pray for the day when the US citizens will wake up of this coma and understand that people like Snowden should be national heroes and not ennemy of the state.
        The same applies to DNC leaks and all these groundless accusations on Trump. Please open your eyes, get out of this black and white mentality. I never liked Trump, but I was relieved when he was elected. I had never imagined that months later we would stillbe in this status quo.
        Open your eyes! Your economy is in bad shape and your senate and government is desperately trying to demonstrate that Trump is not a legitimate president… is it really all there is to do?
        Let the guy finally do his job and prove he’s worth being your president. You make him actually even more vulnerable to corruption then he was, with this baseless process. There is no Russian meddling. Not more than US is influencing elections everywhere through its maze of NGOs. Latam (Brasil, Venezuela, Ecuador…), China, Philippines, Russia, Europe (Obama telling UK what to do…, praising Poland, funding the Baltics, influencing Turkey, Romania, Bulgaria), middle east (Yemen, where US is waging a proxy war…).
        Do we start sueing our leaders because they befriend with US embassadors? Or impose Economic sanctions? What makes Russia more evil? That they would have chosen for Trump that you despise? I too would have chosen Trump and surely not because I love him. And the same applies to Putin. I don’t like Putin, although probably more than Trump. The fact is that Trump is starting to make bad decisions in a bid to take an anti Russian stance. Your president is not influenced by the good of the nation anymore! Thanks to whom? Is it for democratic motivations? Unfortunately not.

    • Nockular cavity

      Something smels borschty, actually.

    • TJ Barke
    • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

      Just look at what Hellary was doing with the Russians
      Benghazi?

      • Bruno Clabot

        Just search where your nuclear fuel is coming from and what kind of connections there are with the Clinton fundation and Russia.
        And there it is not just groundless accusations. It is backed by facts. Look around.

    • Fartknocker

      Microsoft Word 10 does have a very powerful tool for writing in English. It’s function F10. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/0429a0ec1f8ee8a37715552e51ca69e54615644f0bc1e34031c563ad35052304.jpg

    • TJ Barke

      KK, sure sure.

    • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

      You are correct and I will bring this to my superiors at the NAMBLA. They will be very interested in this information.

    • Beanz&Berryz

      That makes a certain amount of sense.

      • Zonath

        Technically, “none” is a certain amount…

        • WIDTAP

          Only if you believe the Mayans and their weird notion of that “zero” thing. Personally, I don’t see it.

          • LesBontemps

            Well, you wouldn’t, which is kinda the point.

    • Suttree

      Google translate still sucks.

    • Nockular cavity

      YOU TELL PUTIN I’M COMING FOR ‘IM. AND HELLARY’S COMING WITH ME!

    • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

      You’re a golem, right? I mean, it’s in your name, Clay Bot. Blocked.

    • Suttree

      Is it difficult to be a wingnut in 3 different languages?

    • tomamitai

      All I saw was chocolate. ME WANT CHOCOLATE!!!!!!!!!!

      • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

        MMM! CHOCOLATE LETTERS!

        Can I get a big chocolate backwards R?

    • Blackest Noobs

      AH…was wondering when the trolls would arrive..THEY’RE HERE.

      • Bruno Clabot

        Of course, i am a troll just like most US citizens are fooled by the media. Dream on baby, dream on. And don’t forget to take the pills of mass media WP and the likes. Strange enough there is not too much love for the gringos/yankees/… that claim to be righteous. On the contrary, there are no negative word to despise Russians in most languages yet in so many languages there is a specific word for Americans, weird as you were sent by God to save us all.
        US is becoming an embarrassing ally. Now you’re going to bomb NK? We are just starting to get pissed off.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      So how’s the weather in St. Petersburg today?

    • guppy06

      Just look at what Hellary

      Aaaaand there’s where your credibility tanked.

    • MynameisBlarney

      How’s the weather in Moscow this time of year, comrade?

    • therblig

      I can’t stand it I know you planned it
      But I’m gonna set it straight, this Watergate
      I can’t stand rocking when I’m in here
      Because your crystal ball ain’t so crystal clear
      So while you sit back and wonder why
      I got this fucking thorn in my side
      Oh my Good, it’s a mirage
      I’m tellin’ y’all it’s a Clabotage

    • Jeff Ackerman

      Did you sleep without your tinfoil hat last night?

      • Bruno Clabot

        When I read the comments on this forum, i bet one day, the Mexicans will praise Trump for building this wall that somehow protects them against mad northern neighbors! Some of you are really out of their mind. You were probably victims of yet another CIA/NSA experiment!
        If you could open your eyes…

    • Marsupial99

      I think this Disqus comment from him a few months ago pretty much sums it up:

      “Thank God there is Russia.”

      ‘Nuff said.

      • Bruno Clabot

        Yes, thank God there is Russia. I didn’t write Putin, but Russia. The resilience of Russia is our best hope for the future. People like Lavrov who know something else than bombing and threatening with a 400bn army or manipulate public opinion to achieve their goals of hegemony pretending they fight for democracy. Just where did US bring about democracy!?
        So many Philosophers came out of a country with less than twice as less people as the US.
        Tell me, when you say God bless America, what God are you talking about? Mars? Or is it rather the Golden Calf?

    • Rags

      What I don’t get is how these Russian trolls can’t even proofread their text or get someone to help them with American idomatic language. Sad. Weak.

  • Fartknocker

    Ms. Lindsay let me assist you with a different strategy in deflecting from the facts that the Dampnuts coordinated with the Russians. You should propose to overhaul Obamacare. May be the 68th time will work like a charm.

  • armed_bears

    “We’re here today to create a talking point for morons. Thank you, and good day.”

    • armed_bears

      If it pleases the chair, I would like to read into the record: Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit, sed do eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore et dolore magna aliqua. Ut enim ad minim veniam, quis nostrud exercitation ullamco laboris nisi ut aliquip ex ea commodo consequat. Duis aute irure dolor in reprehenderit in voluptate velit esse cillum dolore eu fugiat nulla pariatur. Excepteur sint occaecat cupidatat non proident, sunt in culpa qui officia deserunt mollit anim id est laborum.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        It’s all Greek to me!

      • LesBontemps

        That sounds totally plausible.

      • Msgr_MΩment

        I suspect you bigly of plagiarism. Trouble is, I can’t nail down the original author.

      • Mea culpa, mea culpa, mea maxima culpa (not an ex-altar boy for nothing…).

      • aureolaborealis

        Has this ever been read in Congress as part of a filibuster? I want to believe …

  • AnnieGetYerFun

    For the record, Russian babies do not bounce. They burrow.

    • Latverian Diplomat

      Unless they’ve been genetically pre-screened for the Russian Olympic Bouncing Team.

    • therblig

      Moles burrow very deep into the fabric of western imperialism.

    • Vincent Ricola

      In Soviet Russia, babies bounce you.

  • Good_Gawd_Yall

    It’s shit like this that makes me completely discount any noise Graham makes about “the beginning of the end” and all hell breaking loose if Fuckface von Clownstick fires Sessions or tries to get rid of Mueller. Yeah, yeah, actions speak louder than words, and your actions lately, “Senator,” are the actions of a Trump-suckup. Fuck off until you show us something real.

  • Villago Delenda Est

    The “rule of law” isn’t just a slogan. It’s crucial for those who start up businesses, invest in them, nurture them, because it reduces risk. When the rule of law is discarded, people stop investing, stop creating businesses, because they’re afraid that some thug (read Vlad and his Russian mobster friends) will just step right in and steal what’s been built, outright. The lack of legal stability destroys economic growth.

    • tomamitai

      So if all businesses owned by thugs, problem solved, nyet?

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      Oh it’s the rule of law alright- Putin’s law. As long as he gets his 50% cut, you can do all the business you want.

  • kindness

    His Aides and children must have hidden Donald’s cell phone (what ever ancient relic of a cell he still uses, I’d bet it’s operating system was DOS based) or we would have heard more tweets.

    • armed_bears

      yeah… I’ve been looking…

    • Latverian Diplomat

      Jeff Sessions arrested his Blackberry?

  • WotsAllThisThen

    It’s getting so bad Trump’s advisors are trying suck their own cocks, just to distract the public.

    • Latverian Diplomat

      Jeff Sessions puts the “elf” in “self-fellatio”.

      • WotsAllThisThen

        With a job as stressful as his I would recommend auto-erotic asphyxiation, for the lot of them.

        • LesBontemps

          You can leave out the auto-erotic part. Or substitute with votes or whatever..

      • Msgr_MΩment

        You can’t spell autofellatio without an “I”.

  • MynameisBlarney
  • The KGB Ate Our Votes

    Put down the dossier and fire up the impeachment proceedings, Miss Lindsey!

    THERE’S BEEN A BLOWJOB IN THE OVAL OFFICE!!!!

    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DFxvO1vXoAc5rWh.jpg

    • WotsAllThisThen

      Ahem… ATTEMPTED blowjob.

      • Msgr_MΩment

        If the spine don’t fit, you must acquit!

        • Jimh

          If he’s from Nantucket… something something

          • Msgr_MΩment

            He had to start a company: UNTUKit!

    • Beanz&Berryz

      It’s not illegal unless he denies it.

      • The KGB Ate Our Votes

        He’s still in the ‘no-comment’ phase…

        • Beanz&Berryz

          Good point. Ask him under oath.

        • WotsAllThisThen

          He’s trying to get from ‘no comment’ to ‘can’t comment mmmmf mmmmf’

        • Wild Cat

          —Anal Phase
          —Pee Hooker Phase
          —Oedipal Stage
          —Bill Wilson Stage
          —Self-fellatio Stage

        • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

          Is that a larval phase, or is this his final form?

      • mardam422

        It all depends on what the meaning of the word “suck” is.

        • Beanz&Berryz

          It could be said, technically, that a suctionless mouth slide is no more a suck than a suctionless mouth slide is sex.

          • mardam422

            That is so fucking hot!!

          • mardam422

            I’m going home tonight and tell my girlfriend that I want her to give me a suctionless mouth slide. That should do it.

          • Beanz&Berryz

            It does roll off the tongue pretty well. Linguistically. Maybe I should trademark it.

    • Wild Cat

      “Look, Bitch, two over, bacon, an English, and eighteen Bloody fucking Marys el fucking pronto or I’ll start sucking my dick!”

    • Which explains the blue dress in Bannon’s closet…

    • coozledad

      I guess cum really ISN’T all that good for your skin.

  • WotsAllThisThen

    I liked the part where the DNC used character actress Margot Martindale to sabotage Eric’s rock opera.

    • TJ Barke

      Did she bite anyone’s finger off?

  • New and Improved Say Wha

    I hope they give credit to Gogol or Dostoevsky or whoever wrote the original plotline.

    • It was Dostoevsky – “Crime and Emoluments”.

      • Querolous

        Mikhail Sholokhov – “The Don Blows Putin by the Sea”

    • Suttree

      I certainly hope that Turnip’s family is unhappy in it’s own way.

  • Me not sure

    🎶I went home with the lawyer, just like I always do,
    How was I to know that she was with the Russians, too?🎶

    🎶I traded for some emails, I took a little risk,
    Send lawyers, guns, and money, Dad get me out of this.🎶 https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/307f5dc1df60d3d8e36fc959db9a9843b37f7d75b39da84fd5fb5f0895863a20.jpg

  • eyelashviper
    • Villago Delenda Est

      Ayup.

    • Jamoche

      “You might ask, why not just vote no and try to come up with actually good policy?”

      I might, but I’m more interested in the answer to the second part of that paragraph:

      “Because, as they also know, Republicans don’t have any good policies to offer”

      Yes, but why not? Is there any thing beyond “let’s break everything the blah guy did”? What are Repubs actually for?

  • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

    “We will toady up to the Mad King until our own houses start to burn, because we think there will be gain, or we’re too frightened or stupid to do anything else.”
    By the time your houses start burning (with votes) it will be too late.

  • Meanie-meanie, tickle a person

    JMM: Coming off a failure this big, Trump will be looking for people to hurt, things to break. Everybody be safe out there.

    OSHA will be making regular Hardhat Checks…

  • Blackest Noobs

    O/T: trying to read an article on Salon and cannot do it cuz that fucking Zit Girl ad will not FUCKING CLOSE.

    fuck you Salon…I am done with you….until you have another story i might want to read.

    • Courser_Resistance

      I’m still using ad-blocker and a lot of sites demand that I turn it off. Fuck that noise, I’m not going to invite them to serve me bullshit ads.

      Look I get that it’s part of your revenue stream, but it’s part of my ‘internet security’ stream.

      I just close the tab and don’t get to read the article. Meh.

      • Blackest Noobs

        but it wouldn’t even let me do that.

  • jaspersdad
    • TJ Barke

      This is very appropriate for my trip to Hutton Orbital.

      • jaspersdad

        What’s Hutton Orbital?

        • TJ Barke
          • tomamitai

            The people running the simulated universe we live in must be very disappointed at people like you for wasting their cpu cycles on stuff like this.

          • TJ Barke

            Sucks to them. I hope it comes back to haunt them as a percentage of a percentage of a percentage of inefficiency!

      • Gawd Ima Old. I had the OG “Elite” on Commodore 64. It was a helluva game.

    • LesBontemps

      C-SPAN could really use that tape loop.

  • MynameisBlarney
    • TJ Barke

      So you can conspire while you conspire?

      • MynameisBlarney

        *nods*

      • as we dream by the fire
        To face unafraid
        the plans that we’ve made
        Walking in Magnitsky wonderland…

  • WIDTAP
    • Everrett Fanuelli

      “You can stick an umbrella up my ass, just don’t open it.”

    • eyelashviper

      Love the intro:
      “The 45th and Final President of the United States”

  • Anna Rompage

    Poor Lindsey, and here I thought McCain was a incoherent mess that day he was asking all sorts of unintelligible questions…

    At least McCain could blame that episode on a brain tumor, what’s Lindsey’s excuse?

    • WIDTAP

      South Carolina. Kinda like a brain tumor, only with grits.

      • LesBontemps

        Hushpuppies libel!

      • goingohm

        Mississippi, with an economy.

    • LesBontemps

      McCain’s brain tumor.

    • Les Appentis De la résistance

      Hemorrhoids?

      • eggs ackly-wright

        Brain hemorrhoids.

      • Rags

        Brain hemorrhoids.

        • Rags

          oops

    • Suttree

      Hysteria?

  • Everrett Fanuelli

    Why do I feel this shit is like force of habit with Republicans? They can’t control being douchebags because they’ve done it so much.

    • Vincent Ricola

      Genetics?

      • Suttree

        Don’t overlook the Skinner Boxes they were raised in.

        • NellCote71

          Nod to my late ’60s psychology class.

        • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

          Based on looks, I’d guess Paul Ryan was the son of one of Harlow’s wire monkeys.

  • Mavenmaven

    When do the ties to Ayers, Alinsky and Soros get “revealed”?

    • TJ Barke

      THERE ALREADY REVELLED LIBTARDS!

  • Blackest Noobs

    Fat White Lady talks tough but the truth…you probably could put her down with just your thumb….someone start up the gas chamber for Fatty.

    http://www.kvrr.com/2017/07/26/mapleton-woman-fired-viral-racist-rant-community-rally-scheduled-fargo/

    • h4rr4r

      This “woman” asked a Muslim if she knew who Jesus was?

      Can we please make this level of ignorance a crime?

      • Rags

        Does she know who Fatima Zahra was?

      • Blackest Noobs

        it should be a mortal sin.

      • Oblios_Cap

        Isa? Is that you?

    • Suttree

      At least she was fired from her job. What a piece of shit!

  • Natalia Veselnitskaya is…..Keyser Soze! Now it all makes sense…

  • Vincent Ricola

    The deep state tricked Donald into publicly begging Russia – like a dog asking for a treat – to find those emails last summer.

    • mardam422

      I notice Don Don hasn’t been around much lately.

    • jesterpunk

      You sure it wasnt the Derp State?

  • Meanie-meanie, tickle a person

    The Mooch abides…

  • therblig

    It is a riddle, wrapped in a mystery, inside an enigma, buried in a steaming pile of shit known as the GOP.

    • Or a riddle wrapped in a mystery inside an enema…

  • MynameisBlarney
  • WeaselPoo

    As long as Hot Russian Women (still ) Want to Meet You! (me), I fail to see what’s so important about all this

    • therblig

      Chinese women want to meet me. I guess we have a Sino-Soviet split.

      • MynameisBlarney

        I keep getting totes legit and unsolicited emails telling me that HOT LATIN LADIES from Brazil are dying to meet me.

    • Dudleydidwrong

      Donald, is that you?

  • Les Appentis De la résistance

    Bill Browder was on NPR’s 1A earlier that day explaining his story:
    (see July 25th at this page : ) http://www.npr.org/podcasts/510316/1a

  • Everrett Fanuelli

    It was Hillary on the grassy knoll with emails!

    • jesterpunk

      BENGHAZI!!!!!!

    • Vincent Ricola

      Ted Cruz’s dad libelz?

    • boredcatlady

      and the Alien Baby!

  • Relativicus

    This counter-narrative will now be repeated as fact by every motherfucker who is otherwise papering the internets with “Nothingburger no evidence of anything wrong whatsoever at all in the universe move on.”

  • Gregory Purcell

    Browder who use to be the biggest foreign investor in Russia. Had an accountant named Magnitsky. This accountant did the tax work for Browser’s Russian companies.

    What companies did Magnitsky uncovered tax fraud at. Well Western media never asks that obvious question.

    Russian courts said Magnitsky was not the whistle blower, he was the accountant who committed the tax fraud. And they also took over Browder’s companies for not paying $230 million in taxes.

    The Magnitsky act sanctions 18 Russian officials, mostly minor officials No oligarchs. Here is the list.

    https://www.google.com/amp/foreignpolicy.com/2013/04/13/a-guide-to-the-russian-officials-on-the-u-s-magnitsky-list/amp/

    • EvanHurst

      Congratulations, you just parroted everything the Kremlin says about this!

      • Oblios_Cap

        Odd, that.

      • foreign agitator Captain Kraut

        But strangely enough, he forgot how to write his own name, Grigory Pavlov.

      • Gregory Purcell

        Does it at all bother you how nonsensical your story line goes. Magnitsky uncovered tax fraud not at the company he worked for but some unnamed company. The Russian government was was so upset that the fraud was uncovered they framed Magnitsky. Because they don’t want to be paid tax.

        They were so upset they framed Browder’s companies for not paying tax.

        If the Russian government doesn’t want billionaires like Browder to pay taxes why don’t they just do what we do and legaliz tax evasion.

    • Oblios_Cap

      You should have paid better attention in English class.

      • Gregory Purcell

        If corporations don’t pay their taxes in Russia the State takes the company.

        • efoveks

          Move to Russia then.

        • rosenbomb

          No, the Russian State takes over companies because they want the $$$.

    • Christopher Story

      I know I’m about to employ the sins of logic and critical thinking, but I can’t help myself:
      If the Trump-Russia collusion story is a hoax by Russia to convince Americans in the Trump Russia collusion story, wouldn’t that still mean Russia is still deliberately interfering with our government?

      • Canned Covfefe

        Sinner, heal thyself … or something like that.

        • Christopher Story

          Ah, the cure for wellness. Great title, so-so movie.

    • efoveks

      Magnitsky was a lawyer and auditor. The list you describe is one of names that were added and not exhaustive. Go to the primary source at the treasury instead of your google machine to go to a fake site.

    • efoveks

      If you go to a REAL college, you may learn how to properly research something.

    • Dg Hacket

      Then why murder Magnitsky in jail?

    • blarg

      No, you have it all wrong. Magnitsky was the LAWYER working for Browder, whom he hired AFTER Browder’s investment firm and its portfolio companies were stolen by the Russian state, and Browder was expelled from Russia. You can read Browder’s sworn testimony here:

      https://www.theatlantic.com/amp/article/534864/

  • jesterpunk

    Let me see if I can follow this, Hillary worked with Russia to rig the election so Trump won and also tricked everyone on Trump’s team to meet with Russians then lie about it?

    • Vincent Ricola

      It’s all so obvious when you put it that way.

    • You should ice that burn

      That bitch!

    • eyelashviper

      She’s so clever, that one.

    • Rags

      11 dimensional tic tac toe

      • WIDTAP

        Yahtzee!

        • mappo

          Bingo!

    • Beanz&Berryz

      That’s just how evil she is.

    • greyXstar

      She’s a Mastermind! But also totally weak and frail and ineffectual.

      • jesterpunk

        She also murders everyone who crosses her, except Trump, Weiner, Newt…

        • greyXstar

          She’s waiting for Russia to do it, because then she…still wouldn’t be President. It all makes perfect sense. If you’re stupid.

    • Dudleydidwrong

      Now for the first time I understand why she deleted the 33 million emails and killed all those who might squeal on her at Benghazi. It’s all clear now. I can sleep for the first time in a year. Thank you Miss Lindsay. My sanity clause is restored.

  • MynameisBlarney
    • Yellerduck

      I remember doing that! I think I was in second grade.

  • I’d be curious to turn Mueller loose on Congressional personal and campaign finances and see how much money from Russian oligarchs may have been funneled into certain GOP accounts.

    • Vincent Ricola

      All of it, Katie.

    • eyelashviper

      Now that would be the finest public service imaginable…clean the Capitol of all those grease stains.

    • Meanie-meanie, tickle a person

      What makes you think he’s not?

      • Now that would be ironic. If Trump managed to drain the swamp by being so incompetently corrupt that he managed to drag down the GOP with him into jail.

        • eyelashviper

          Actually, it should not be hard, just follow the Russian $$$.

        • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

          Man, just thinking like that gives me a Hope Boner™.

    • It’s Russian oligarchs all the way down…

    • Cock Blockula
  • Meanie-meanie, tickle a person

    So back when the Anti Health Care Act passed the House, folks were all “no way this thing passes the Senate, chill out”.
    And they got it exactly right.
    Missed the Barnum & Bailey 3-ring circus with extra clowns, tho…

  • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

    It all boils down to cash, doesn’t it? No moral obligations, no real ideology, just undoctored greed. Shit, Scooby!

  • cheetojeebus

    Worst John LeCarre fan fic ever.

  • eka

    a year or two ago, i got an email from a gazprom account owned by someone with my same name. i guess she got her own email wrong and was sending it to what she thought was her personal email? not wanting to mess with gazprom, I immediately deleted it. I regret that now. It might have put my life in danger, but still. It’d be kinda cool to possess internal gazprom documents.

    • eka

      and just for the record, I deleted it without reading and immediately emptied my trash. So putin doesn’t need to kill me. Please?

      • Komsumverweigerer Ron

        That excuse doesn’t actually work, you know.
        – Jared Kushner

  • SadDemInTex

    I have said the bit about Vlad’s jollies in creating chaos to a number of Trump/Russkie apologists and they refuse to see the truth. It is clear that Putin’s Russia is a failed state that has been raided by kleptocrats who now seek more countries to denude/rape/steal and destroy.

    • Lord Jim

      It seems a lot of folks haven’t quite grasped this: Putin isn’t looking to accomplish very specific goals. All he has to do is pull the pin on the grenade and roll it into the room. A Clinton victory would not have reflected a failure on Putin’s part – he was counting on the constant stink of scandal weakening her and keeping her on the defensive. And he knew he could count on a very willing Republican Congress actively aiding him.

  • E K Wallace

    I’m looking forward to following the money leading to, as we all know it will, dirty Russian moneys, and what the people those moneys belong to might think about being exposed by the orange asshole’s incompetence. I don’t think they’ll take “aww, but he’s new at this!” as an excuse.

    • Blackest Noobs

      nah…they’ll just blame Barry for it.

      • Komsumverweigerer Ron

        Not those people, the OTHER people. The ones who have no sense of humour when it comes to the incompetence of or betrayal by their paid lackeys. And Donnie’s too dumb for witness protection. ‘I know I said my name is Bob Smith but I’m really Donald Trump! Bet you never guessed!’

        • Blackest Noobs

          you mean John Barron.

  • Blackest Noobs
    • Thiazin Red

      Motion to make Failure Friday a thing.

      • Blackest Noobs

        dude for me it always been a thing…shit…it was a friday when i got four bullet holes in the chest. ( ok it was a tuesday but who’s checking)

      • Axomamma

        I’d prefer Trump resign on the next nearest Friday (today would be great!) so we can have Fabulous Friday.

      • Mr. White

        Seconded.

  • P’jama Pahnts

    This all made my head hurt and contains almost no dick jokes. And it made me more informed. My Friday is ruined.

    • Jackie Jones

      I, too, found it difficult. (Math is hard, let’s go shopping!) Basically I will just assume they’re going to blame everything on Hillary Benghazi.

      • Komsumverweigerer Ron

        Safe bet.

  • Blackest Noobs

    This!!!! Ron Perlman is the best.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tHv0RExQsPQ

    • Christopher Story

      I’ve always had a man crush on Ron. I’m so glad he turned out to be every bit as awesome as I always dreamed he was.

      • Blackest Noobs

        dude can play dicks but is a teddy bear in real life

    • Thiazin Red

      He is chilling as the Lich in Adventure Time.

    • Lord Jim

      While the tone of voice is different, the spiel is dead on. He “gets” Trump (his manner of speaking, anyway).

  • BMW

    There comes a point where we’re just going to have to leave the Trump defenders behind in whatever grade they’re in while the rest of the class moves on.

  • azeyote

    if it’s all a hoax trump then Trump acting like a guilty as hell crazy ass tweeker on twitter is a part of it too. – for the ratings –

  • raypc800

    To test to see if there has ever been any Russian collusion by GOP Members of Congress the on going investigation should include them all. None of them should mind as they believe no collusion was done by the Trump Administration. They should not mind after the numerous Benghazi investigations they held. This way the American people would be guaranteed that GOP Congress was clean.

  • Iron Monkey

    It is clear that Lindsay couldn’t get his gin soaked brain around on operation this complicated. He could barely remember his lines.

  • La forza del resistino

    At this point, I just wanna see Robert Mueller bitch slap Miss Lindsey sometime before Thanksgiving.

    • Komsumverweigerer Ron

      Canadian or American Thanksgiving?

  • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

    I can answer the question, “Is this only bullshit, or is it bullshit they actually believe?”.

    It’s bullshit, and they don’t even believe it.

    You know how I know? They felt it was very important to pass new sanctions on the Russian Government because they knew Trump would not do it.

    • goingohm

      Yeah, I wouldn’t buy into an explanation that requires Miss Lindsey to have been an incompetent Air Force JAG.

  • Iron Monkey

    Trump and his family are probably pawns in Putin’s attempts to get his friends around anti-money laundering rules. They weren’t smart enough or tough enough to deal with Putin as equals but as willing sellers of high end real estate to nominees of nominees of sanctioned oligarchs they were perfect.

    • Komsumverweigerer Ron

      If Donnie ever figures this out it’ll destroy him.
      That would be fun to watch.

  • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

    OT: Trump just said that “Human trafficking is worse now that at any point in history”.

    He missed that whole “slavery” thing.

    • Les Appentis De la résistance

      Funny how everything is worse when he’s in charge.

      • Komsumverweigerer Ron

        Can we assume that correlation equates with causation? Just this once?

    • anomie

      He speaks fluent hyperbole.

    • Ducksworthy

      Yes. He does miss it.

      • Ducksworthy

        Also. Was Jeffrey Epstein procuring 13 year old girls for Trump “Human Trafficking”?

    • phoenix00

      “So many traffic lights. Cannot human. Bad.”

  • OrdinaryJoe

    So, What we learned from that little dumpster fire was that Putin will use anything he can to corrupt anybody that will take the bait for the purpose of causing his enemies maximum disruption. Which only begs the question, what was the bait they dangled in front of the Trumputin’s to get them to support Putin’s objectives. And if they were also trying to corrupt the Dem campaign, then why aren’t the Trumputins using every power in the book to impose regime crippling sanctions against the Putin Crime Syndicate in order to protect American sovereignty?

  • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

    Might I direct everyone’s attention to something:
    The Dems aren’t flipping out and looking to stop this alternate investigation into Hillary/Chelsea Clinton/Benghazi Bros. They basically said “Sure. Go for it. We will accept your motion to put a dead chicken (for fucking) inside a dead horse (for fucking) then proceed to let you fuck it for as long as it takes. You can even name the runny leftovers ‘Pickle,’ Sarah. We don’t give a shit. We’ve covered this.”

    Dems haven’t even one single changing story about Benghazi. They never needed an army of pundits coming up with alternate reasons for Her Emails. The answers will be the same as they were the first fivetillion investigations.

    Contrast that with the GOP.

    They’re kicking up dust everywhere, trying to cloud the skies with “alternate theories about Russia.” Remember those denials started with “there were no Russian Meetings” (including literal perjury claiming this very thing) now to “ok fine there were Russian Meetings” and now it’s “Hillary must have tricked us! OBVS SHE’S BEHIND THIS”

    Donny Twoscoops himself is hiring attorneys, who have to hire attorneys, and then those attorneys need attorneys. He literally said he fired James Comey because of the Russian Investigation. Then he goes on fretting and tweetwailing, threatening Mueller not to look in his closets, and then asking about his pardon powers. Lately his shitstorm has been focused on an effort to nuke Jeff Sessions, so he can replace him with someone who could fire Robert Mueller and end these investigations.

    Yeah, knock yourselves out, dipshits. You TOTALLY don’t look guilty at all.

    • anomie

      This. ^

      • Tinacnelson

        Google is paying 97$ per hour! Work for few hours and have longer with friends & family! !aw332d:
        On tuesday I got a great new Land Rover Range Rover from having earned $8752 this last four weeks.. Its the most-financialy rewarding I’ve had.. It sounds unbelievable but you wont forgive yourself if you don’t check it
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    • Weird Fishes

      Poor Pickle.

    • Ducksworthy

      Where’s the Demoncrats response to the deadly “Risotto” revelation? They have none.

      • phoenix00

        “HERE LIES THE COLONEL’S 11 HERBS AND SPICES”

  • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

    NOTE TO GOP LICKSPITTLES AND TRUMP TAINT-HUFFERS:

    You can’t go claiming that Russian Ties be BAD (when Hillary does them) and also have Predisent Miniscrote saying Russian Ties be No Big (when my son does them.)

    That way lies utter hypocrisy.

    Unless you’re ready to admit you’re a bunch of two-faced ratfuckers whose values consist of nothing but fart vapor, and you’ll “use anything to damage our political enemies regardless of how inconsistent and/or contradictory it might be.”

    Wanna turn over a new leaf?

    • Weird Fishes

      (GOP, Trumps look at each other) “Nah, we’re good, thanks.”

    • Opiwan

      Heh, he said “fart vapors”, hehehehe

      I’m stealing that phrase

    • phoenix00

      Nah, IOKIYAR ya know.

  • The Librarian

    Miss Lindsey is just trying to sow confusion by putting words in Mr. Browder’s mouth. I think Graham understands perfectly well, but is trying to muck everything up to camouflage his GOP buddies.

    • Komsumverweigerer Ron

      Doesn’t that make him… (wait for it)… COMPLICIT?
      Dun dun DUUUUUUN!

      • The Librarian

        He does indeed wear that perfume’s nasty stench.

  • geoffalnutt

    They have no proof and never will. Mueller has so much proof from his investigation (already) that your head could explode up to the sky!!!

    • Weird Fishes

      Needs moar 1!!!!!11!!!11!!!!!!!

  • Cock Blockula

    Circular Conspiracies are the BEST Conspiracies!

  • whitroth

    One correction, Evan, it’s not the oligarchs who are holding HUGE amounts of Putin’s personal money, that money is all in the West… where it’s subject to asset freezes….

  • Paperless Tiger

    Here comes the coverup. All the focus has been on the Trump campaign, but the Republican Party may have been in on the deal of the century as well. They’ve done it before, as in Iran Contra. The Benghazi affair may also have been a botched Republican plot, at least as far as the ‘Innocence of Muslims’ provocation, which was obviously timed to queer the election. Frankly, most of our presidential elections lately seem to feature the GOP making a shitty deal with foreigners.

    • Ducksworthy

      And here I thought that the Ayatollah releasing the hostages the day Reagan was inaugurated was a coincidence. And that the South Vietnamese broke off the Paris Peace Talks because they didn’t like French food. I guess I’ll have to add “The Innocence of Muslims” too.

  • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

    Here’s another situation needing a new word that doesn’t exist yet.
    So there’s a thing called a “Turducken” which is a hen, stuffed inside a duck, stuffed inside a turkey, for eating.

    What should we call a rat, stuffed inside a chicken, stuffed inside a dead horse, for GOP fucking?

    • goingohm

      Jeez, why can’t they just use a fleshlight?

      • Zyxomma

        Okay, you made me look. I didn’t know what a fleshlight is until 30 seconds ago.

        • Mildred Broxon

          Me neither, and I am not improved by the knowledge. Though, as a student of human nature, one needs to know these things. One thinks.

    • LifelongLurker

      As in “Keep ratfucking that chicken like a dead horse”? I propose “Beatermeat”.

  • SadDemInTex

    Could a clever Wonker do Photoshop on this picture of a white squirrel? I wanted to use it on this thread…something like GOP…SQUIRREL…something something, the gist being deflecting from the truth, etc. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/0b79ba90777209bae74f07199d76068aa25424a6121f9ace8c757d74e8512cb3.png

  • fightclubdoll
    • Tinacnelson

      Google is paying 97$ per hour! Work for few hours and have longer with friends & family! !aw332d:
      On tuesday I got a great new Land Rover Range Rover from having earned $8752 this last four weeks.. Its the most-financialy rewarding I’ve had.. It sounds unbelievable but you wont forgive yourself if you don’t check it
      !aw332d:
      ➽➽
      ➽➽;➽➽ http://GoogleFinancialJobsCash622ShopBestPay$97Hour ★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★:::::!aw332l..,..

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