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Clusterfuckery. Heinous clusterfuckery most foul.

Thank god someone’s finally listening to Donald Trump’s deranged tweets: The House Judiciary Committee took up the important work Wednesday night of looking into all of James Comey’s discussions with the Obama administration regarding his investigation of Hillary Clinton’s emails. This should finally scratch a presidential itch that started with Sean Hannity rants and other “WHA’ ‘BOUT HILLARY!?” nonsense from the Wingnuttosphere, which demands to know all about James Comey’s possible connections to or collusion with a domestic government. Here is the absolute bestest part, too: The move came when Republicans on the committee amended a bill introduced by Democrats to request White House documents on Donald Trump’s firing of Comey.

The amendment was a surprise to Rep. Pramila Jayapal (D-Wash.), the freshman who had proposed the Democratic resolution of inquiry, which had been expected to fail. In a heated markup, Jayapal and other committee Democrats expressed amazement that Republicans wanted to resurrect questions about the defeated Clinton campaign.

“There appears to be deliberate stonewalling to stop any inquiry into the questions facing us today,” she said. “You want to have another beating of the dead horse of Hillary Clinton and her emails? Fine, I’ll include it. But let’s have another opportunity to debate.”

But the Republicans had very good reasons to change the resolution’s focus. For one thing, everyone knows the Trump Russia thing is fake news. For another thing, there are already plenty of investigations, and they’re all fake, too. And most importantly, their constituents demand answers, according to Arizona Rep. Andy Biggs, one of several sponsors of the amendment:

In my district, my constituents say, “Hey, what’s going on with investigation of the crimes of the previous administration?” […] When I hear talk that this contains right-wing conspiracies — well, I’ll tell you, my constituents think what’s going on in the other bill are left-wing conspiracy theories.

Everyone knows Both Sides Do It, and so the House Judiciary kids are just doing Them The People’s bidding.

Committee member Matt Gaetz of Florida, who also sponsored the amendment, explained he thinks it’s only fair to examine Hillary Clinton a little more, since she got a free ride on Benghazi maybe:

“If it’s in the public interest to investigate the Trump administration, it is most certainly in the public interest to investigate the real crimes by the real criminals” […]

“Just because Hillary Clinton lost the election doesn’t mean we should forget or forgive conduct that is likely criminal,” Gaetz said. “We need an investigation of Tarmac-Gate.”

Gaetz was eager to explore the full range of wingnut tweets and memes about the many, many sins of Hillary Clinton, since dumb old special counsel Robert Mueller is so unfairly fixated on what he was assigned to investigate:

They’re not focused on things like the Clinton Foundation functionally selling access to the State Department; they’re not worried about selling uranium to the Russians; they’re not worried about unmasking[.]

Yeah, and what about the murders of Vince Foster and Ron Brown?

Over on the Senate side, there may be a bit less enthusiasm for indulging the whims of rightwing media, although Chuck Grassley, head of the Senate Judiciary Committee, has at least nibbled around the ridiculous notion that some Ukrainian guys very openly trying to publish stuff that put Donald Trump in a bad light is exactly the same as Donald Trump Jr. meeting with a Russian government lawyer. On the other hand, Lindsey Graham thinks there’s something unseemly in the winners of an election trying to use investigations to settle scores with their former opponent:

“It harkens back to the notion of a banana republic,” Sen. Lindsey Graham, R-S.C., said of what he called Trump’s “inappropriate” calls for investigations into Clinton. “It’s what dictators do, they look to punish their enemies.”

Well, yes. And you have a problem with that? Not exactly loyal, is what that looks like. Does South Carolina have any government contracts? May want to watch what you say, pal.

House Judiciary Committee Democrats, unable to stop the amendment from heading in its new, exciting direction, simply sat back and gawped in wonderment at the spectacle, as the amendment passed on a 16-13 vote:

“This is the most astonishing moment I’ve ever experienced in the Judiciary Committee,” said Rep. Steve Cohen (D-Tenn.). “To take a question about the firing of James B. Comey and turn it into a question about Hillary Clinton? The chairman has left the room. Justice has left this room. Common sense has left this room. A lot of stuff has left this room, and maybe never entered it.”

That’s pretty good, Rep. Cohen. Might even fit on a t-shirt.

Yr Wonkette is supported by reader contributions — please click the “Donate” linky so we can keep you advised of all sorts of fuck-tussles like this.

[WaPo / McClatchy / Image by Lorna Mills at Digital Media Tree, used by permission]

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  • Résistance Land Shark Ω
  • MynameisBlarney
  • Carpe Vagenda

    So, hey, Mark Zuckerberg. Still happy running fake news-friendly facebook with an eye toward profits and not the destruction of civil society with your bffs Peter Thiel and Palmer Luckey?

    Great. You enjoy that.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/1c7fcdd0f14c9bf35ba5624e03a3227a56e4b74f92f4d80f953e03ce6f59d51d.png

    • Covfefe

      Thought it was the net neutrality folks who wanted to treat the interwebs as a public utility.

      • Carpe Vagenda

        :)

    • wide_stance_hubby

      Every day, a new reason to be glad I have nothing to do with FB.

      • Carpe Vagenda

        Yeah, me either.

  • Joe Beese

    An Open Letter To Chief Scout Executive Michael B. Surbaugh from Travis and Tyler McCann

    The Scout Law states that, “A Scout is Trustworthy, Loyal, Helpful, Friendly, Courteous, Kind, Obedient, Cheerful, Thrifty, Brave, Clean, and Reverent.” There is no person in American society today who less embodies the laws of Scouting than President Donald J. Trump, and so we were unsurprised that the President chose to deliver a speech that was xenophobic, jingoistic, riddled with petty political attacks, and which violated, over forty rambling minutes, every tenet of the Scout Law.

    To Mr. Trump ― is it trustworthy to continue to reference the size of your Inauguration Day crowds relative to President Obama’s, despite the fact that your repeated claims are demonstrably false? Did it demonstrate loyalty for you to threaten to fire Health and Human Services Secretary Dr. Tom Price if he can’t get the votes to overturn the Affordable Care Act? Do you feel brave or courteous attacking Hillary Clinton so many months after the election has ended? Is it reverent to tell Muslim or Jewish scouts that “under the Trump administration you’ll be saying ‘Merry Christmas’ again”? Is it the obedience of a mob crowd that you seek when you encouraged the gathered Scouts to boo Ms. Clinton or President Obama? Is it cheerful, kind, courteous, or friendly to repeatedly solicit jeers from a crowd of impressionable young men?

    To adult Boy Scout leaders from across America, shame on you. The boos and jeers from the crowd Monday were not reflective of the Scouting we grew up with. Allowing your Scouts to participate in Monday’s farcical and disturbing demonstration, and in some cases, to participate in it yourself, are a stain on Scouting.

    Prior to the event, Mr. Surbaugh sent out a message to volunteer adults and employees of Scouting, stating that “chants of certain phrases heard during the campaign (e.g. ‘build the wall,’ ‘lock her up’) are considered divisive by many members of our audience, and may cause unnecessary friction between individuals and units.” These tacit suggestions never indicate that these phrases are considered divisive by the Boy Scouts of America.

    But by acknowledging the divisive nature of Donald Trump’s presidency, you recognized that inviting such a man was creating a scenario that encouraged friction. You did so in such a way as to make yourself seem blameless, but the BSA taught us to take responsibility for our actions. And your actions run counter to the very rules and regulations of Scouting, which state that “[t]he Boy Scouts of America must not… involve Scouting in political matters.”

    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/an-open-letter-to-chief-scout-executive-michael-b-surbaugh_us_5978c239e4b01cf1c4bb74cd

  • Résistance Land Shark Ω
  • Oblios_Cap

    Tarmac-Gate? Really?

    • arglebargle

      Take-off, you hosers.

  • JMP

    In my district, my constituents say, “Hey, what’s going on with investigation of the crimes of the previous administration?”

    Um, the previous administration never committed any crimes; it was refreshingly completely scandal-free.

    • Martini Ambassador 🍸

      Also, too [citation needed]. Your one wingnut uncle doesn’t count.

  • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef
  • Oblios_Cap

    They’re not focused on things like the Clinton Foundation functionally selling access to the State Department; they’re not worried about selling uranium to the Russians; they’re not worried about unmasking[.]

    Probably because none of that shit ever happened. It’s all a fiction.

  • UncleTravelingMatt

    Sarah Sanders, a person hired by Trump, unironically: “The President hires the very best people.”

    • Suse

      And people lerve the Prez bigly!

  • Suse

    OT – Fuckabee is on teevee lying again.

  • LifelongLurker

    Blingee rating: Superb.

  • Résistance Land Shark Ω
  • Monsieur_Grumpe

    They just can’t quit Hillary… or they really, really, really like chickens.
    Either way.

  • ArgieBargie

    Time to in-peach President Hillary!

  • memzilla Ω

    Next up: Hillary Clinton conspired with the Russians to make Cheeto Benito look bad.

  • Ms.MLG on Maui

    One of these days they’re gonna bring up Bengahzi or Her Emails one too many times, and my head is going to launch off my shoulders and explode.

    • Martini Ambassador 🍸

      I think that’s the plan, actually. At this point, their whole reason for being is to piss off liberals.

      • Ms.MLG on Maui

        It’s just so astonishingly fucking stupid.

        • Martini Ambassador 🍸

          Well, it’s the GOP, so…

    • Oblios_Cap

      Don’t let those bastards win!

  • Mr. Blobfish

    I heard that the Clinton Air Force shot down JFK Junior’s aeroplane because he was in the way of Killary stealing the NY Senate seat.

    • Suse

      All true!

  • Stupidity’s namenz is GOP.

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸

    AKA, The Squirrel! Amendment

    • therblig

      too early for that Foray

  • H0mer0

    I misread “It’s what dictators do, they look to punish their enemies” as “punish their manatees.”

  • Michael R
    • ArgieBargie

      “The real problem here is the smoke detectors.”

  • Oblios_Cap

    A song that seems to be appropriate for all modern GOP Presidents:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k4kTnP5VJ1k

    Edit: It’s on most bar’s jukeboxes, too.

  • cmd resistor

    OT, but had to laugh at this headline from The Hill:

    Gingrich: Scaramucci is ‘full of himself’

  • Suse

    The preznut can talk and chew gum at the same time, sez Sarah!

  • UncleTravelingMatt

    Next up, HB 1178, A Bill Amending the 2016 Presidential Election Results by Expunging 6 Million Votes Cast for That Bitch Who Did Benghazi.

  • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

    Since I can’t figure out Ben Garrison’s current cartoon, here is a classic:

    http://grrrgraphics.com/uploads/7/4/7/3/74734153/trump-comey-ben-garrison_1_orig.jpg

    • Oblios_Cap

      Whose the guy w/ the wrench? Cause there’s no way Trump’s in that kind of shape.

    • Mr. Blobfish

      Fake news. The tie doesn’t cover the crotch.

    • Oblios_Cap

      It looks like he needs a better wrench, cause there’s a whole lotta leaking still going on.

    • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

      Proof that you can have great artistic talent, but shit ideas.

      • Latverian Diplomat

        Talent? Trump’s “manly chest” looks like moobs to me.

    • Mr. Blobfish

      I am literally shitting out a better cartoon than that.

    • Bub, the cynical zombie

      Well for one thing, there is no way in hell Donnie would know which end of a wrench to hold…

      • therblig

        or a wench

    • Martini Ambassador 🍸

      I like the man-boobs, but Dumbass’ waist-line needs far moar bloat.

    • Kiri the Unicorn

      That makes less sense than Hieronymus Bosch. What flavor is that Kool-Aid, Mr. Garrison?

    • Bub, the cynical zombie
    • Edith Prickly

      In what universe was Trump ever built like that? *snort*

    • Nockular cavity
    • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

      luv luv luv how Trump is all buff and his hands are as big as his forearms…

    • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

      Gross. I wonder which Reince is going to regret more? Having that commissioned, or having it found in his porn stash?

  • SayItWithWookies

    You know what’s a real crime? That Congress investigated the hell out of Richard Nixon, but never even looked into the nefarious dealings of George McGovern. It’s never too late to start, Republicans!

  • DrBigHead

    Honest to God, I give up…..

    • Jonny On Maui

      Don’t. That’s what they want.

      • DrBigHead

        I know, and I can’t. Too much at stake. I am expecting the restraining order from Martha McSally’s office any day now because of all the phone calls.

  • Latverian Diplomat

    “Why did Hillary fire James Comey?” will go down in History with other Republican Questions like

    “Why Did FDR Bomb Pearl Harbor?” and “Why did JFK lose Cuba?”

    • Oblios_Cap

      FDR? I though it was the Germans.

      • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

        No it was Huey Long.

        • shastakoala

          Hue knew?

        • Alternative Dog

          Huey Lewis. It was in the news.

          • therblig

            i want a new drug.

      • Latverian Diplomat

        They were in it together…

        • Covfefe

          FDR colluded with the Germans. Remember?

      • Pilotshark

        “Forget it, he’s rolling.”

    • SDGeoff3

      “How could Obama allow the 9/11 attacks?”

  • Résistance Land Shark Ω
    • Jonny On Maui

      In the Rs case it’s ‘shout louder’.

      • SDGeoff3

        And interrupt whenever possible.

  • Mr. Blobfish

    They never got to the bottom of Fast ‘n Furious.

  • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

    Sounds like Reince is about to be rinsed and hung out to dry.
    https://twitter.com/CNN/status/890646372596240384

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      he’s done

      • Oblios_Cap

        Damn! Does this mean he’ll have to get a real job?

        • Dick St. Dipshit

          If you call bloviating on Fox a real job.

        • He’ll just end up in a think tank, something like the Cuckservative Council.

          • Oblios_Cap

            With free health care, no doubt.

        • Zippy W Pinhead

          he’ll end up being hired by Zucker or Lack

      • puredog

        No, I think he’d be done if some surrogate announced that the President has “complete 1000% confidence in” Pubis.

        • Zippy W Pinhead

          should happen by the end of the week

      • wide_stance_hubby

        Reince and Defeat.

        • Alternative Dog

          Should have prefaced with the word Slather.

    • William

      Worst impression of a talking pool table ever.

    • Looks like they’re kicking Prepuce in the, well, prepuce.

    • William

      Making a gif of her saying “we all serve at the pleasure of the president”. Just in case I can’t find ipecac some day.

    • eka

      lasted longer than i expected.

    • OneYieldRegular

      This just could not have happened to a nicer person, mainly because a nicer person wouldn’t have come near this administration with a 10,000 foot pimple lance.

    • mardam422

      So, can we start a pool? Who will be the next CoS? I’ll start. Rudy Guliani, or maybe Gregor Clegane.

      • shastakoala

        Does the replacement’s name have to start with a G?

      • Edith Prickly

        Ramsay Bolton.

      • EvilHRLady

        Hannity.

  • William
    • Ms.MLG on Maui

      But one of them appears not to have a penis, and that’s worse than being under criminal investigation.

      • Elvis Causticfellow

        She is guilty of not being under investigation while lacking a penis.

        • Ms.MLG on Maui

          A very serious violation of our nation’s Penis Code.

          • Pax Americana Per Ars Smith

            She should be sent to a Penile Colony!

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        I’m betting both of them APPEAR not to have a penis

        IYKWIM

    • (((fka_donnie_d)))

      They are all liberal plants there, except when they are leaking all over Hillary’s campaign to the Times.

    • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

      TRUMP VOTER stares at it for a very long time.

      “Nope, still don’t see it”

      “But it’s right there in front …”

      TRUMP VOTER quickly jabs himself really hard in the eyes Three Stooges style.

      “I SAID I DON’T SEE IT! END OF STORY”

  • Everrett Fanuelli

    So what is Huckabuck-Slanders pooping out of her mouth right now?

    • SDGeoff3

      Poop. Moving forward. Senate’s doing Great Work. Yup.

    • Bill D. Burger

      Something about ‘skinny healthcare’, obviously something she’s never used.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      Russia is fake gnus

  • SDGeoff3

    Tarmac-gate? It’s too early for this shit.

  • Bill D. Burger

    Of course. As we know, there have never been any investigations into Hillay’s emails or Benghazi….time to get one started.
    What a bunch of fucknutz’! Useless and insane.

    [“This is the most astonishing moment I’ve ever experienced in the Judiciary Committee,” said Rep. Steve Cohen (D-Tenn.). “To take a question about the firing of James B. Comey and turn it into a question about Hillary Clinton? The chairman has left the room. Justice has left this room. Common sense has left this room. A lot of stuff has left this room, and maybe never entered it.”]

    Bravo sir…and well said.

    https://media.giphy.com/media/F9DzQnxx6ZZNm/giphy.gif

    • mardam422

      Are all the staplers still there?

  • whitroth

    But she Benghazi’d Comey! It says so, right there on Anthony Wienerschnitzl’s laptop! (Please just look at the icon of the document, don’t look at the file date of 27 July 2017….)

  • Baconzgood

    I still want to know about her involvement in the Lindbergh baby.

  • Indiepalin

    The crimes and lies of the democrat Martin van Buren administration have haunted Americans for 180 years. Who here doesn’t remember the Panic of 1837? Hopefully this initiative will result in those responsible receiving a good tongue-lashing.

  • Latverian Diplomat

    It’s almost as if the Judiciary committee lacks judgement. It’s the “intelligence” committee all over again.

  • TheGrandWazoo2

    GOPer: My notes say you and Mr. Clinton talked about golf and grandkids on the tarmac, is that true?

    Lynch: Yes.

    GOPer: Did you talk about anything else?

    Lynch: What do your notes say?

    GOPer: Nothing.

    Lynch: There’s your answer.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      To be fair, they were damn cute grandkids.

  • Bub, the cynical zombie
  • OT but Cute: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2keyX12jdqU

    If *I* were planning a Super-complicated Space-sciency thing, and my plan made Neil DeGrasse-Tyson giggle, I’d go back to the drawing board…

  • Bill D. Burger

    A few million dollars and a few years and we could get to the bottom of General Washington’s death. Did he fall into a creek? Did he get wet as the snow changed to rain and develop pneumonia while on his way back from visiting a mistress? Did the doctors kill him____________ or was he brutally murdered by Hillary Clinton?

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      she chopped the cherry tree that fell on him

      • OneYieldRegular

        Binghazi!

        • TheGrandWazoo2

          That pun is the pits.

          • Ms.MLG on Maui

            I see it’s too late to stem the tide of bad puns that are beginning to blossom….

          • mailman27

            I’s gonna make like a tree and leave.

    • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

      Our Conservative News Organization Poal says it was Hillary. We expect the House to begin impeachment procedures.

      • Ms.MLG on Maui

        The Conservative News Organization Poll says-

        Who is General Washington?

  • Résistance Land Shark Ω
    • Oblios_Cap

      I saw that in the store the other day.

      • Résistance Land Shark Ω

        Two of us in line (plus the cashier) were laughing … one person was muttering, “I knew it”

    • Msgr_MΩment

      That is soooooo like her.

    • Christopher Story

      Let me see if I got this straight:
      1. Hillary colludes with Russia for years, years before Donald Trump even farts about running for president.
      2. She deliberately loses to Trump in the single most important and decisive election in her professional career as a public servant, so Donald Trump could become president
      3. Just so she can frame the entire Trump family with all her criminal collusion with Russia and bring down a presidential administration

      Question: If she’s this good, why didn’t she just go ahead and make herself president?

      • Khavrinen

        Pfft, there you go again, tryin’ that ridiculous “logic” shit. You know Trump’s base ain’t that easily fooled.
        It takes serious grifter double-speak to confuse them enough to fire up their torches & pitchforks.

    • mailman27

      So wait– Diana’s bodyguard is the hunk that’s twice Paris Jackson’s age? I knew it!!!

    • Raan

      I believe my response when I saw this at the grocery store was “What the fuck are you smoking?”

  • William
  • Everrett Fanuelli

    Anything interesting during the SHS press briefing?

    https://i.ytimg.com/vi/2g7MZJfmBA4/maxresdefault.jpg

    • William

      Um….Sarah dressed as a pool table and it looks like someone shaved her knuckles.

      • Pax Americana Per Ars Smith

        I’m sure the hair just rubbed off from all the ground dragging.

    • proudgrampa

      Everrett, who is this?

    • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

      Some nonsense about how the Steele dossier was funded by Russia or some such nonsense.

  • Everrett Fanuelli

    Why did Hillary kill the Superman movie with Nic Cage?

  • Beowoof14

    Republicans trying to distract from their skullduggery, I am shocked I say..

  • William
  • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

    I hear Hillary Clinton killed Jesus! Open a new investigation!

    • Pilotshark

      well killing of Jesus was not the hard part, it was sending that email that got him to Benghazi was the hard part.
      keep coming back address unknown, wear about as well, but it only them 33000 try`s, so see those are not really missing they are time traveling.
      :-)

  • A Groucho Marxist

    Has anyone on the left ever said that “both sides do it”? I can’t think of a single instance.
    Why would that be, I wonder?

    • eka

      well, yes, but it’s usually a precursor to a rant about the DNC rigging an election or murdering people. well, they think they’re leftists anyway.

  • OneYieldRegular

    Elvis, it need hardly be said, has also left the room.

  • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

    CNN on current vote:
    There’s only one vote (so far) this afternoon:

    It’s a GOP amendment proposing “Medicare for All.”

    But that doesn’t mean much: It’s an amendment purely designed to force Democrats on the record as for or against a “single payer” health care plan.

    Republicans will oppose it.

    They are doing it wrong.

    • DrBigHead

      The continue to invent ways to do it wrong.

    • The Green Bastard

      So if Dems are for it, they’ll attempt to hit em w the ‘socialist commie coming for your freedom!’ attack? Or…?

      In any case, good luck w that, fuckers. Last I heard, most Americans were for single payer as well. You can’t wrap this shit sandwich up in any kind of package that will make it appealing. We can all smell it.

  • Crystalclear12

    Nobody thinks of that poor dead horse.

    • AnnieGetYerFun

      I actually do! Every time I hear someone say that, I cringe.

  • William
  • eggs ackly-wright

    Everybody knows Hillary killed Prince and Robin Williams, too. Why no investigation, eh?

  • If Hillz personally killed more men than Cecil B. DeMille, why isn’t she Queen Hillary I, The Goode and Kinde?

    • DrBigHead

      If she really was responsible for everything she has been blamed for, and is not in jail yet, I would think she would be God Emperor by now.

    • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

      You’d think if she was such a ‘bad hombre’, these assholes would be too terrified of her to investigate.

      • “Sir, the latest FBI Probe ended with 3 Special Agents and a S-a-C found dead in their bathtubs.”

        “Damn the woman!”

    • Manders

      Fucking seriously. If you want to see real incompetence and evil in action, you don’t have to look at the lady who lost. And DJT hasn’t even had to murder anyone (yet).

      • Doug Langley

        Other than a few civilians in Yemen and Syria, but pick pick.

      • CindyinEncinitas

        That we know of. Yet.

    • Kiri the Unicorn

      And why is Newt Gingrich still alive? Roger Stone gets killed by Hillary every other week! Time to stop slacking!

  • Everrett Fanuelli

    Why won’t they investigate Hillary killing Colonel Mustard with the candlestick?

    • Lance Thrustwell

      It was in the library. They’re not big readers.

      • CindyinEncinitas

        They only go in there when they’re in time out.

      • Kiri the Unicorn

        They haven’t a clue.

    • Darlene Underdahl

      She coached Charles Manson.

    • eggs ackly-wright

      Lionel Twain knows the real story.

  • OrdinaryJoe

    I’ll repeat what another posted earlier about the Trump Crime Organization: Making America Fear Its Administration (MAFIA).

  • Dick St. Dipshit

    I don’t care what you say, it was Hillary on the grassy knoll.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Rafi Cruz held the bandolier as he twirled his moustache evilly.

    • Darlene Underdahl

      Sixteen, but way ahead of her age group.

      • Dick St. Dipshit

        She was a Goldwater Girl in those days . . . Hmmmmm.

    • eggs ackly-wright

      And she was Ruby’s moll.

      • Msgr_MΩment

        Who could hang a name on her?

    • shastakoala

      Remember the Alamo? Just sayin’.

    • Khavrinen

      Well, we all know who it really was who shot J.R.!

    • Kiri the Unicorn

      And exactly where was she on June 28th, 1914? Can she prove that she wasn’t in Sarajevo?

      • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

        I think you are thinking of Obama The Black Hand Omarosa The Black Hand Anthony Weiner um… Hillary

    • Finnibar87

      She was at that beerhall putsch in Munich, took a bullet for Adolf.

      • Dick St. Dipshit

        I hear she also rode a tank and held a general’s rank when the blitzkrieg raged and the bodies stank

        • Msgr_MΩment

          Pleased to meet you and I’d like to subscribe to your newsletter.

  • Msgr_MΩment

    “There appears to be deliberate stonewalling to stop any inquiry into the questions facing us today,” she said. “You want to have another beating of the dead horse of Hillary Clinton and her emails? Fine, I’ll include it. But let’s have another opportunity to debate.”

    Stonewall? Why, that’s the only Southun hero of the War of Northern Agression for whom Jefferson Beauregard Sessions the Π is not named after.

    • eggs ackly-wright

      Jefferson Beauregard Sessions the turd.

    • Finnibar87

      I’ve been to the Stonewall Jackson house, and deduced he was killed by his own troops for being a pain in the ass.

    • PubOption

      The right lost interest in Stonewall when he opened his gay bar.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Oh, for fuck’s sake. Here we go again with the Hillary bashing. Don’t they have anything else FFS?

    • Daniel Hooper

      Nope.

    • proudgrampa

      They got nothin’.

    • VirginiaWackelpudding

      Zilch.

    • Dick St. Dipshit

      They got what the little boy shot at.

    • Christopher Story

      Hating Hillary is its own religion now. “Lock Her Up” is their version of the Lord’s Prayer.

    • jesterpunk

      I stubbed my toe yesterday, why isnt congress investigating Hillary for that?!!!!!!eleventy!!11!1

    • OutOfOrbit

      that would expose them to the light of day and the would whither

    • Finnibar87

      Without Hillary to bash, they might be forced to acknowledge the fucking disaster named Trump is in the WH.

    • William

      Diversion. When things go to shit, fire gay soldiers or dangle the Hillary Keys in front of the mouth breathers. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/7c47c507550bdaf8cb33eb4d2d027c22859378252aa26ec34199a649e65d9a1a.jpg

  • dslindc
  • Master Contrail Program

    “Why a GOP-led committee with investigative powers is like a mule with a wheel. Nobody knows how they got it and damned if they know how to use it!”

    ……………………………..

    The ring came off my pudding can!

    Take my pen-knife, my good man!

    I swear it’s Congress’ only choice! So throw up your hands and raise your voice!

    What’s it called?

    E-mail!

    But the government’s still cracked and broken!

    Nevermind, the mob has spoken!

    E-mails! E-mails!! E-MAILS!!1!11!1!1!!111

    • Khavrinen

      Monorail!!!

      [ Oh, crap, I’m always the last guy singing when everybody else stops. ]

    • *golf clap* Well Played, Sirrah.

      • Master Contrail Program

        Well, it worked for North Haverbrook.

  • VirginiaWackelpudding

    Arrest her. I friggin’ dare you! Better add, She would eat your dicks raw without garlic for lunch if any of you weasels pulled a stunt like that.

  • MynameisBlarney
  • Msgr_MΩment
    • How *you* doin’?

    • MynameisBlarney

      I’ll uh…be in my bunk.

    • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

      I shared this picture on my faceplace thingie yesterday and it #triggered my fascist cop nephew. He replied with a resounding “Fuck you!”. Had to unfriend the disrespectful prick.

      • janecita

        I’d call my nephew and tell him off.

      • MynameisBlarney

        He’s just mad that he got a chub after looking at the pic.

        • Oblios_Cap

          I’ve never heard of hate-fapping before.

          • MynameisBlarney

            It’s like grudge fucking.
            Solo.

          • janecita

            Mmmm, grudge fucking a young Han Solo.

          • Oblios_Cap

            That doesn’t sound nearly as fun.

          • wide_stance_hubby

            It sounds just like regular fapping, but somewhat rapider.

          • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

            It’s fapider.

          • Christopher Story

            More chafing.

      • wide_stance_hubby

        In other words, he had the best fap he’ll spend the rest of this life being angry about?

      • William

        Trumps one redeeming quality is that he has provided a 100 percent effective method of filtering assholes from my Facebook.

      • Msgr_MΩment

        … and proceeded to go clean his rifle.

      • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

        Some people can’t take a fact.

  • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef
  • janecita
  • William
    • Khavrinen

      Sorry, way too complicated for most of the people bitching about this issue.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        Especially the vermin of the Village.

  • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/b89e71d3d0e7e5906a249904d59670b891c48cba17f6e4a2381470d1ae840fff.png

    Oh, and BTW, fuck John McCain’t in his eyesockets with giant vibrating vote-filled dildos. And Lindsey Graham too, as she is most likely nearby if John is around. Fucktoads!

    • janecita

      I second you, FUCK!!!!!!!

      • Msgr_MΩment

        Ima go with “Turbofuck”. “Fuck” just doesn’t do it for me anymore.

        • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

          I guess he have entered the era of Fuck Deflation. Sad.

  • Marceline

    Once again I wish that Hillary Clinton actually was the stone cold killer people claim she is.

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      It seems that Hillary makes a super-awesome evil super villain to these asshats.

      • Msgr_MΩment

        Have you ever been to her island lair in Chappaqua? The most tastefully appointed villain’s lair I’ve ever been to.

  • Khavrinen

    Every time the stupid Rethuglicans bring up those damn e-mails, I have the urge to watch “Frozen” again.

    Holy Fucking Jeebus, dudes: Let It Go, already.

    • Finnibar87

      It makes me nuts.

      Emails are bullshit.

  • William
    • Villago Delenda Est

      We’ll get her on a parking ticket if we have to!

      • William

        Overdue library book.

        • Christopher Story

          Jaywalking

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      She’s so damn good at getting away with shit, the Republitards should be worshipping her big time. Except for that Woman Thing and that Democrat Thing, in which case she is their most unfavorite person.

    • Jamoche

      “If you really believe I got away with all that, why are you still standing in my way?” – Miles Vorkosigan

      • everstar

        If only this line would have worked for Hillary :(

    • Thiazin Red

      The travel agency one is the most infuriating. They found out that the WH travel agents were corrupt, stealing from the office, and tossing records into a closet, so the Clintons fired them. The GOP hated the Clintons so much they demanded and investigation into them firing obviously corrupt agents.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        Sam Donaldson was so pissed that his friend the corrupt travel agent got fired. The guy made the best arrangements for Sam.

  • jesterpunk

    Well looks like Trump’s transgender tweet may backfire on Republicans.

    https://www.washingtonpost.com/local/virginia-politics/transgender-va-candidate-on-trumps-military-ban-height-of-hypocrisy/2017/07/26/f155ca78-7251-11e7-9eac-d56bd5568db8_story.html?utm_term=.baf9138b8f10

    But the political arena where it resonated perhaps most personally was a
    local state House race in Virginia, where Democrat Danica Roem is looking to make history as the state’s first transgender lawmaker.
    She is vying to unseating Del. Robert G. Marshall (R-Prince William), a
    social conservative who has sponsored a “bathroom bill” and a ban on
    gays and lesbians from serving in the state’s National Guard. Both pieces of legislation failed.

  • MynameisBlarney
    • jowgajen

      Troll level 11.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      It’s strawberry rhubarb and you specifically asked for the virgin blood topping?

  • The KGB Ate Our Votes

    Isn’t it an absolute unicorn-farting-rainbows miracle that Obama gave the GOP not one, single, solitary scandal to investigate/impeach? Well, other than putting Dijon mustard on his cheeseburger.

    • William
    • jesterpunk

      He wore mom jeans.

      • The KGB Ate Our Votes

        Also, they were always making sure he had his wedding ring on. Where’s Trump’s wedding ring?

        • jesterpunk

          His Shakira law gay marriage wedding ring?

          • The KGB Ate Our Votes

            ((( snort! )))

          • Kiri the Unicorn

            The Secret Gay Muslim Decoder Ring!

      • Christopher Story

        And a tan suit

    • Msgr_MΩment

      YOU MONSTER!

      • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

        What!?! I don’t see any canned clams over there.

        • Msgr_MΩment

          KGB.
          Dijon mustard.
          Cheeseburger.

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      There was that Tan Suit Thing, and the Saluting Coffee Cup Thing, and the Vacations Thing, and the Golf Thing, and Michelle’s Bare Arms Thing, and…
      somebody just shoot me! (Votes&etc.)

      • 3FingerPete

        Michelle touched the frigging Queen of England!

    • Kiri the Unicorn

      CoffeeCupSaluteGate!!!
      TanSuitGate!!
      StayInSchoolKidsGate!

    • TheGrandWazoo2

      I don’t know, Obama not choosing a family dog for 6 months showed a pretty serious lack of leadership.

      • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

        The horror!

      • PubOption

        And then he had to get one of them fancy foreign dogs. What’s wrong with proper American breeds?

    • Pisto75666

      Well I mean, COME ON!

      Seriously though, one of the reasons I had to laugh over that idiot Scarmucci saying ‘everybody does it’ about staff leaks in former administrations. They never happened in the Obama administration, as far as I remember.

      • The KGB Ate Our Votes

        Nope. And I don’t remember Obama or any member of his administration whining about how unfair it was to be made to complete (AND SIGN!!1!!) a financial disclosure form.

        • Pisto75666

          But they were competent, and knew stuff, darn the luck.

    • writersbloc

      I don’t know, that Jeremiah Wright thing was pretty fucking heavy. And his wife dressed like a high-priced (Jcrew) WHORE! (bare shoulders).

      • Jukesgrrl

        Which was even worse than her trying to kill “our children” with vegetables!!11!

    • Marceline

      Ummm, don’t you remember the national nightmare that was Bamz putting his feet up on the desk?

    • 3FingerPete
  • La forza del resistino

    Look out Al Gore and John Kerry. You’re next.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Harry Truman? Don’t sleep comfortably in that grave, they’re coming for YOU!

      • Master Contrail Program

        Josiah Bartlett? Don’t think being a work of fiction is going to help you! We deal with fictions everyday.

        • Msgr_MΩment

          “Fake News! Fake Administration!”

        • Bebecca

          I’ve watched the series on Netflix about 3 times. I watch it when I want to see a Democrat in action.

      • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

        So the repubs are going to give Harry Truman the Oliver Cromwell treatment?

        They need better hobbies.

  • Villago Delenda Est

    There might be 2 or 3 salvageable GOP senators, but I can’t think of a single GOP representative who should be shared the deluxe curare tipped vote purge.

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      I think adding some polonium to those vote tips can’t hurt.

  • DainBramage

    When Trump has the Capitol building burned to the ground, they’ll still want to investigate Hillary.

    • OutOfOrbit

      as long as the Rubes hate hrc all to hell & back again (ie the rest of thei lives) this will continue

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      I’m rooting for Canada to invade and burn the White House down. It’s overdue.

  • Mary Theresa

    Whoa, Lindsey grew a spine, I think.

    Graham writing bill to prevent Trump from firing special counsel.
    http://thehill.com/homenews/senate/344176-graham-writing-bill-to-stop-trump-from-firing-special-counsel

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      Lindsey will get over it. By 5:00, most likely.

      • Msgr_MΩment

        Once Roberto brings him his mint juleps. Allegedly!

      • Mary Theresa

        So, he has the vapors again?

        • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

          Lindsey is such a lightweight. Only gets the vapors when there’s a fainting couch five feet away or less.

    • Raan

      *eyebrow raised*

    • WotsAllThisThen

      The House will add an amendment to investigate Graham.

  • Blackest Noobs

    burn it all fucking down cuz honestly what’s the fucking point…the Republicans and white people assholes just want fucking anarchy ( cuz in their pea-brains they think they’ll have it made in anarchy world but they wouldn’t…oh god they wouldnt)

    so fuck it, where do i light this puppy up…burn baby burn!!!!

  • Marion in Savannah

    Kinda OT, but prolly not really… Swearing is GOOD FOR YOU:

    https://www.nytimes.com/2017/07/27/smarter-living/the-case-for-cursing.html?contentCollection=smarter-living&_r=0

    But swearing is beneficial beyond making your language more colorful. It can also offer catharsis. A study co-authored by Richard Stephens, a senior lecturer in psychology at Keele University, found that swearing can increase your ability to withstand pain. So when you stub your toe and howl an expletive, it might help you tolerate the pain better.

    Or when you have to live through a Trump administration.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Fuckin’ a, bubba!

    • Msgr_MΩment

      The fuck you say.

    • Jamoche
    • h4rr4r

      I made the TTS engine in our IVR swear today.

      For a glorious few minutes if you called the test server line it swore at you.

    • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

      Fuck yeah!

    • JustDon’tSaySortMyBalls

      Imma live 4-fucking-ever

    • SeeTrain65

      Fucking necessary these days.

  • The KGB Ate Our Votes
  • Where’s our cash-hole investigation about how I heard Hillary tricked Eric Trump into eating a booger that time?

    • Msgr_MΩment

      “Nuh UH. I wanted to eat it.”

    • WotsAllThisThen

      I lost twenty bucks on that bet!

  • Mavenmaven

    The Senate would like to call Willie Horton to the witness chair.

    • WotsAllThisThen

      The American people deserve to know, Senator. Where’s the beef?

  • The KGB Ate Our Votes

    Reported at Raw Story: “Sean Hannity melts down over report he blew $42,000 on a 70-year-old lobster at Trump restaurant”
    .
    I’ll take the first swing here and say actually Hannity just blew a 70-year old lobster at Trump’s.

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      That was not a lobster he blew. That was Bannon.

      • The KGB Ate Our Votes

        Ewwww. Talk about a crustacean.

      • Yellerduck

        Fake news! He did blow Bannon, but all he got was crabs.

        • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

          Hannity got off lucky, then.

          • JustDon’tSaySortMyBalls

            No, he got off Bannon. Are you even reading these comments?

          • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

            Reading what comments?

      • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

        “I thought it was just a very small crawfish, what with the scales and the red color.”

    • shoeflyin

      It was kind of orange, he thought it was a lobster

    • (((fka_donnie_d)))

      What alternate reality are these people from, where emphatic denials by public figures with zero credibility are taken at face value?

  • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

    this is redundant:

    ““If it’s in the public interest to investigate the Trump administration, it is most certainly in the public interest to investigate the real crimes by the real criminals” […]”

  • Bebecca

    Can you all even imagine what Hillary is going through right now? She is probably not in the least bit surprised that she’s still the republicans’ punching bag and Trump is their golden boy. That’s how f@cked up they are.

    • HazooToo

      If they call her in to testify again over absofuckinglutely nothing, I want her to show up, just so she can tell them to their faces: “No. I’m done with your bullshit questions, and if you want to use me to distract your constituents from how badly you’re screwing the country, I’m not going to participate. Ask whatever you want, I’ll just sit here and not answer a damn thing.”

  • (((fka_donnie_d)))

    In my district, my constituents say, “Hey, what’s going on with investigation of the crimes of the previous administration?” are gibbering, drooling morons

    fify

    yw

  • Beanz&Berryz

    Well. At least Trump isn’t the only shit show in town. There are just a couple Republicans who aren’t full-on bat shit crazy. Amazing. It’s like having the idiot middle school bullies running the country. What a fucking joke of a nation.

    USA. USA. ya, makes one proud. 🤔

  • Royal Ugly Dude

    my constituents say, “Hey, what’s going on with investigation of the crimes of the previous administration?”

    It’s all they talk about — in his non-existent town halls.

  • (((fka_donnie_d)))

    House Judiciary Committee Democrats… simply sat back and gawped

    Kinda the point there, Dok

  • 3FingerPete

    You didn’t mention the murder of Seth Rich. And that Republican guy who tried to get Hillary’s emails last year and was murdered right after spilling the beans on Russian ties to Trump’s campaign. Hillary definitely off’d that guy.

  • Jukesgrrl

    Tell ’em to get in line. We’ll investigate Hillary as soon as we get finished with the process of sending Cheney, Bush, and Rumsfeld to The Hague.

    • Olav_Pompatus

      But first, we have to finish dealing with all these allegations about Millard Fillmore.

  • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

    IF GOD DIDN’T WANT HITLERY INVESTIGATED HE WOULDN’T HAVE ELECTED A REPUBLICAN’T AS PREDISENT!

    • Komsumverweigerer Ron

      Are you sure they haven’t used that actual excuse? It’s so letter-perfect.

      • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

        I have wingnut relatives so yes, that was an actual quote from an uncle.

        • Komsumverweigerer Ron

          Ye gods and little fishes…

  • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

    I hope they can get Pickle to testify.

  • Lefty Wright

    You also left out how Hillary was responsible for Cain offing his brother, Abel. It’s a well known fact that you libtards keep sweeping under the rug.

  • chapka

    Pramila Jayapal, my representative, is a progressive badass, and the Washington Post should learn to spell her name correctly. (And Wonkette owes her a [sic]).

    • doktorzoom

      Thanks! I will fix it!

  • Teto85

    Hey, Rtards, YOU WON. GET OVER IT!!!!!

    (Conducting criminal investigations against the losing parties with just as much logic and evidence happened in Germany in the 1930s. Just saying.)

  • Cornelius Fussbudget

    All of this lawlessness is a direct result of Republicans decades-long crusade against the truth. First it was supply-side economics: when first proposed, no one actually believed it; it was a means to an end. But, now we have Rand Paul and a whole generation of Rs that weren’t there when the lie was concocted. The ruse that was designed to appeal to the unwashed masses found its way back to DC.

    And now we see the same pattern with the rule of law. No one on Capital Hill really believed all that made up junk about the Clintons. It was just realpolitik. But now, there’s a whole cohort running around DC believing that violating ethical norms, laws, common decency, etc is normal business. It was only a matter of time before they started “retaliating”.

  • Zyxomma

    There is no low to which they will not sink.

    • Keith Taylor

      No. And every time I begin to think, well, maybe there is, they show me how wrong I am.

  • JLO

    Comey opening the Hillary email investigation a week before the election was CRITICAL in Trump’s win. THE NERVE!! For a week straight Fox and everyone else speculated like crazy people about what was the reason and what crimes had she committed. She won popular vote by a lot still but you can bet that extra week of email distraction was enough to make a few thousand people distrust her even more because of all the rhetoric and vote Trump last minute.

    • Jay Silversmith

      I know, huh? They should be kissin’ Hillary’s ass, invitin’ her to dinner and sendin’ her flowers for helpin’ don the con get in.

  • HazooToo

    Shouldn’t there be some kind of fucking limit to how many times Congress can investigate the SAME FUCKING THING

    • JLO

      It was done to hurt her presidential chances previously, Now, 6 months in to a new administration that has actually admitted to meeting with Russians because they expected to get dirt on Hillary “LOVE IT” it’s being brought up to distract everyone from that and everything else this president has done and will do as their Hillary show is re-opened. Disgusting!!

      • HazooToo

        I can’t even pay attention to that shit anymore. I’ve hit my limit. Basically, if it doesn’t have real world ramifications that affect the common American, I haven’t got the patience to do more then yell and then move on.

    • Debmcd

      Yeah, I think eight investigations into Hillary is enough. The current GOP moron is only in office for six months and already has several investigations going on him. It must be some kind of record. What I don’t understand is if Congress just wants their agenda passed they don’t need the orange moron for that. Any GOP monkey with opposable thumbs can sign any stupid law they pass so why are they sending the entire party down the shitter over one stupid less than human piece of crap? You’d think they wouldn’t want some fake republican running things and giving them a bad and worse than bad name and perhaps losing 2018 for them? You’d think kind of like cops, instead of standing up for the pet killers and the child killers, good cops would say enough of this stupid useless killing and giving us a bad name. The GOP is just like that. They will kill people by taking away their rights and their insurance because a real stupid bad fake republican says to even if it’s in their own worse interests. Why would you want the worst our country has to offer in any group you belong to? Wouldn’t you want the best? Instead of the child killers, you should want the child savers.

  • Lyly Sirivong

    I think Andy Biggs’s constituents have better things to do than asking about possible investigations about the crimes of the previous administration.

  • pgjack

    I won’t use Scaramucci language on the GOP but I’m thinking it.

  • Jesse

    This is addictive behavior. Literally what addicts do. Knowing something is harmful to you but continuing to do it, unable to stop on your own… this is what 12 step programs were invented to address. Its astonishing to think it but there’s no other way to view this type of behavior – the GOP is addicted to Hillary Clinton.

  • zeusspeaks

    Are these congresspeople just as fucking stupid as the conservatives that voted them into office? Apparently, I answered the question already. It really shouldn’t be a question. This entire group of Republicans are the dumbest, most venal and foul demonstration of humans to adhere to the planet.

    • Debmcd

      Kinda makes me want to wish gravity would just cough the lot of them off the earthy and save the rest of us from the GOP morons who are collectively of one mind but never know who has the use of it from day to day.

  • Debmcd

    we need an investigation into the aiding and abetting of treason by Congress. Why else are they so afraid to do anything about the moron in orange? They know they all used that stolen information and don’t want to be caught out at traitors. Too bad we all know the truth and you can investigate Hillary until your balls fall off but it won’t help you Russian traitors.

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