You'd think a guy who wears ducky jammies in public would have better judgment

Congressman Blake Farenthold, a Republican from Texas who battles daily with Louie Gohmert for the title of OH FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, JESUS CHRIST, had some deep thoughts on repealing Obamacare, which he shared with a rightwing radio talk show.

In the face of tomorrow’s vote on a “Motion to Proceed” (MTP) to repeal Obamacare without a replacement — and it’s STILL TOUCH AND GO CALL YOUR SENATORS — he explained that the Republican trio of Susan Collins, Lisa Murkowski, and Shelly Moore Capito had betrayed the Republican Party most foul by saying that gee, they weren’t actually great with cutting $800 billion from Medicaid and throwing 32 million people off their insurance. What do you even do with dumb bitches like that? Well, it’s a shame you can’t murder them with a gun.

Farenthold complained about some female lawmakers and said, “If it was a guy from south Texas, I might ask him to step outside and settle this Aaron Burr-style.”

He wouldn’t just fight them. He would shoot them. But he is a gentleman.

Blake Farenthold, gentleman, said this lady who sued him for sexual harassment.

Blake Farenthold, gentleman, said Blake Farenthold when denying he had “wet dreams” about the staffer he fired.

Blake Farenthold, gentleman, said Blake Farenthold when he said he wasn’t sure if saying “I like raping women” would be bad if it were in a locker room.

Blake Farenthold, gentleman … aw fuck it.


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  • Eileen Besse

    OMFG, OMFG, OMFG. Send in the dragons.

  • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist
  • Zippy W Pinhead

    Why aren’t you GOP Senators making me a sammich?

  • Bill Diaz

    Is that a pic from the ‘Too Plump to be Pimps and Hooker’s Ball’?

    Have a great day!

  • Oblios_Cap

    Those poor women.

    • DainBramage

      One assumes they were well paid.

      • proudgrampa

        VERY well paid.

  • Zippy W Pinhead

    That photo just screams “Texass”

  • He really seems to like the idea of shooting people he doesn’t like. So I assume there are no mirrors in his house.

    • Oblios_Cap

      Another responsible gun owner!

  • La forza del resistino

    More GOP dissonance:
    Dr. Sebastian Gorka: ‘The Era Of The Pajama Boy Is Over And The Alpha Males Are Back’

    • BigCSouthside


      • La forza del resistino

        as in a doctored degree.

    • elviouslyqueer

      Subtitle: Dispatches from Yet Another Motherfucker Who Belongs In Jail.

    • Nockular cavity

      Scroll back to the top, reader, and look at Congressman Duckie Pajamas: ALPHA. MALE.

    • Nockular cavity

      Bear in mind: Nazis have always had a hate-on for people in pajamas.

      • theCryptofishist

        Those vertical stripes are so slimming. (Yes, I’m going to hell. If they’ll have atheists, that is.)

        • Msgr_MΩment

          I was just thinking that. Also too the daily caloric intake.

          • Yr. Gma

            I’m gonna say it: too soon.

          • theCryptofishist

            (That, too.)

          • theCryptofishist

            (well, of course.)

      • Pisto75666

        Bananas in pajamas, on the other hand……

        • rebecca


          • Pisto75666

            That theme song is REALLY creepy!

  • Bananas Foster

    That picture was taken right before both those women dove into a vat of diluted bleach.

    • BrianW

      Diluted? Well, I wouldn’t.

  • TJ Barke

    The “moral majority” everybody…

  • Oblios_Cap

    he explained that the Republican trio of Susan Collins, Lisa Murkowski, and Shelly Moore Capito had betrayed the Republican Party

    Sounds like he mansplained it.

    • theCryptofishist

      Oh, the upfists I would give, if I could, to this totally pertinent comment.

  • Nockular cavity

    I lived in South Texas previously. I seem to have missed all the duels going on, but maybe I wasn’t paying attention.

    Oh, and if you’re a nice round target like Farenthold, I really don’t recommend you do any dueling.

    • TJ Barke

      Yeah, but fat blocks bullets, Dave read all about it on reddit.

      • Martini Ambassador 🍸

        About that and the red pills, I assume.

        • TJ Barke

          You know it.

      • Celtic_Gnome

        And a Bible in your pocket always stops the bullet in the movies, so what could go wrong?

    • Oblios_Cap

      If he stood sideways, he could lessen his profile…

      Oh, never mind.

    • Snark Tank Full of Resistance

      No fat shaming, please. Farenthold is a disgusting humanoid-type creature, but he has enough faults without bodyshaming.

  • elviouslyqueer

    This from the asshole who is the living embodiment of “Swipe Left.”

    • TJ Barke

      Unswiped libel!

    • theCryptofishist

      (I don’t understand this swiping stuff.)

      • elviouslyqueer

        Swipe right = “finds attractive, would fap to again.”

        Swipe left = “sends to bottom of reject pile and proceeds directly to shredder.”

        • theCryptofishist

          Aha. Some dating ap thing.

  • Alfred E. Neuman has sure let himself go to pot.

  • proudgrampa

    Fuck that guy.

    • KenTFM

      That sound you just heard was all the women of the world shouting “HELL TO THE MUH-PHUKIN’ NAW!!”

    • MynameisBlarney

      You go right ahead wit that lol

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸

    He needs to be voted in the voter using sharp votes, with extreme prejudice. And votes.

  • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

    • TJ Barke

      Boy’s about as sharp as a bowlin’ ball.

      • Sakonyachen

        Shaped like one as well.

  • OrG

    This guy’s a jackass. Whoever votes for him is a dumbass.

    • Snark Tank Full of Resistance

      Alas, too many of my neighbors voted for this bucket of warm piss. But he really hasn’t had a viable opponent, and the Democrats down here appear to have abandoned the seat.

      • SadDemInTex

        My problem for the last 6 cycles. We finally have a Dem opponent for that fuckface weasel asslicker Henserling

  • Msgr_MΩment
  • Ryan Denniston

    “In the face of tomorrow’s vote on a “Motion to Proceed” (MTP) ”

    Finally found a MTP worse than the one on Sundays.

    • beatbort

      I thought they had a quick cure for MTP’s.

    • MynameisBlarney


  • Perhaps he is afraid to challenge a woman to a duel because it would be embarrassing for such an alpha male to be shot by a little ole woman.

    • Pisto75666

      When she’s done laughing in his face over his jammies.

      • beatbort

        Anne Richards would have said, “I’ll duel you, you fat piece of buffalo shite, and I won’t even need a gun…I’ll just mock you so completely you’ll shrivel up like the Wicked Witch of the West.”

        • Pisto75666

          He WOULD too.

          Gosh I miss her. She would’ve made this recent pack of weasels’ lives absolutely hellish.

          RIP Ann Richards *sniffle*

          • Vel Venturi

            I like to imagine her hanging out with Molly Ivins, snarking from the Great Beyond.

        • aureolaborealis

          I have no doubt she could have out-shot him, with words, votes or other things. I have seen these blowhards at the shooting range. They are almost always all hat and no cattle when it comes to these things.

  • beatbort

    Fahrenthold’s comments can be translated as: My penis is even smaller than Trump’s fingers.

  • MynameisBlarney

    Congressman Blake “Flop-sweat” Farenthold.

    I betcha he smells like Sqeezy Cheez and egg farts.

    • elviouslyqueer

      I bet his nickname in high school was “Atomic Wedgie Skid Mark.”

    • Bobo the Dork Boy

      Beer sweat and taint cheese.

  • geoffalnutt

    Chivalry is NOT dead!!!!

  • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

    He does know Burr was driven from public life and died in relative obscurity after shooting Hamilton, right?

    • elviouslyqueer

      Lin-Manuel Miranda LIBEL!

    • Chyron HR

      But he did win a Tony award, so that’s a plus.

    • Snark Tank Full of Resistance

      He did get this great commercial, tho!

    • Nockular cavity

      Also, they dueled not in South Texas, but New Jersey, because of course…everything is legal in New Jersey.

      • Cliff Hendroval

        As long as you don’t get caught.

  • aureolaborealis

    Question: Which revolting pile of shit ‘glad-handing’ the help is the congressman in question?

    • theCryptofishist

      Based on the ducky pajama comments made in every post where that picture is posted, the guy on the right.

      • Le Chapeau

        That’s him, 10 pounds of shit in a 5-pound bag.

        • aureolaborealis

          400lb in a 200lb bag?

          • Le Chapeau

            If you want to be literal about it, yes, I think that hits the nail on the head.

      • aureolaborealis

        I have since sleuthed myself to the same understanding.

        • theCryptofishist

          Wonkers are so smart they can figure things out without me.

  • Msgr_MΩment

    I’m burnin’ through the sky yeah
    Two hundred degrees
    That’s why they call me Mister Farenthold
    I’m trav’ling at the speed of mold
    I wanna make a supersonic woman of you.

  • Yellerduck

    Yah, he’s a peach.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Oh good–now we can give this old story an updated version:

    “If you were a guy from South Texas, I’d give you a dose of poison!”

    The senators looked at him.

    “If I were your voice in Congress,” said they, “I’d take it!”

  • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

    In oldie timey duels the challenged party is allowed to choose the weapon. So any woman he challenged to a duel would just need to say, “We will have a battle of wits.” Then, in a BEST case scenario, our leviathan Lothario would only be half armed.

    • Ωbjectifier
    • Anna Elizabeth: Tank Grrl

      My answer would be “A Gladius.”

      • Nockular cavity

        Yeah, I’d go the sword route, too. Probably a broadsword, but YMMV.

        • Anna Elizabeth: Tank Grrl

          Broadsword is a good choice as well. :)

      • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

        Because you are SMRT and beautiful and full of life and would enjoy seeing the look of confusion on his face as he tried to figure out what the hell a “gladius” is and if it is gay.

      • The way to a man’s heart is through his ribcage.

        • Anna Elizabeth: Tank Grrl

          With a twist to finish, Babe. xD

      • Hardly Ideal

        I’ve heard a Spartan once said of the xiphos and why it was so short, “It’s long enough to reach your heart.”

      • Willert

        guns for show, knives for pros

        which leads me to the conclusion: butter knives, in a bakery

    • Cliff Hendroval

      Hatchets in a dark basement. Just sayin’.

    • Alex Grey

      Pretty sure he could be beaten, with both lobes tied behind the back.

  • Carpe Vagenda

    I too am built like the broad side of a barn, and I think that Congressman Farenthold has not thought this out.

  • beatbort

    Speaker Ryan is a man of high principles. Any minute now he will be making a statement chastising Blake Pussyhold for suggesting violence be used against a member of Congress.
    I am, of course, so high on drugs right now my multiple personality is typing this.

  • (((fka_donnie_d)))

    He has to call himself a gentleman, in the vain hope of avoiding some miniscule fraction of the consequences of his assholery.

  • Dutchman
  • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

    God himself could reach down and touch that guy and proclaim, “This one is mine and I am well pleased.” and he still would have to pay to get laid.

  • Cogswell – in a mirror darkly

    Phone call on line one, Blank. It’s Jason Miller wondering if you can spare a chin.

  • LeftyProud

    What a guy! What a shame he has to deal with us wimmen folk and just can’t shoot people at will! If not for those pesky wommenz!

  • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

    another wannabe badass from Texas. It’s, ahem, obvious in photos of him he only goes outside in south texas when he has to.

    also too, I’d like to think real Texas Men (TM) don’t solve political problems with rootin’ toot shootouts, but rather over a beer with a little congeniality.

  • Ωbjectifier

    “If it was a guy from south Texas, I might ask him to step outside and settle this Aaron Burr-style.”
    Sure pal. You would shit your jammies staring down the barrel.

    • Cliff Hendroval

      Not only that, but he’d be an easy target – lot of center to that mass.

      • DAT

        yeah, but the vital organs are teeny

        • Sakonyachen

          Bullets really hurt(so I’m told), so being a large target means you are incapacitated pretty easily. You don’t have to kill someone with your first shot, just take the fight out of them. Kinda the point behind a box cutter for self defense. An attacker will most likely not die from having their chest cut from side to side, but they will definitely reassess their priorities quickly.

      • Hardly Ideal

        There’s plenty of folks hereabouts, me lad, whose bellies and purses are fat.
        They drive company cars, smoke expensive cigars, and have men to take care of their hat.
        They don’t give a care for us poor hatless fools, though here in the gutter we sit-
        but the thing ’bout full bellies and purses, me lad, is both are well easy to slit.

        -old devil’s drinking song

        • BearDeLaOursistance

          The modern-day GOP makes me almost miss the old ones who ran bumper cars, sucked cheap cigars, and candied up their nose. Apologies to Primus.

    • Alex Grey
  • Anna Elizabeth: Tank Grrl

    Shared to Tumblr.

  • John Iwaniszek

    What a repulsive human being.

  • whitroth

    If the Repthuglicans were even on the same continent as their verbiage, this scumbag would be censored, and tossed out of the House, with instructions for his district not to send him back, because he’s never going to sully the Halls of Congress again.

  • Anna Elizabeth: Tank Grrl

    How old does Everypony suppose those girls are in the photo? They look underage to me.

    • suziq

      Hard to tell, I have seen 15 year olds with big boobs and lot of make up that could pass for 25, and 30 year olds that could pass for 17. Ya never know! At any rate, they are way too young for those gross guys so you can figure they are only there because they are getting paid.

      • Anna Elizabeth: Tank Grrl

        Yeah. Ick.

        • Spot Letton

          Obviously Show Models at the annual dickwad convention.

      • cats530

        It would be hard to plaster a smile on my face in the presence of those two. Blech!

      • whitroth

        Ok, It’s not just me, thinking that he’s a little old for them….

    • No way, I’m sure they were hired from a reputable stripper agency.

    • HarpyLibtart

      I’d call it at over 18 but under 25 – legal but gross, definitely professional entertainers though. (NO slut-shaming here – getting hired to dress sexy and schmooze older guys at a party is legit work, for which one should get some kind of hazard pay at the very least.)

  • Newly discovered early video of Congress Critter Blake Farenthold.

  • armed_bears

    Somehow this pud is the best the 734,713 residents of TX CD 27 can offer. TX 27 is a minority majority district: 50+% Hispanic. And he’s what floated to the top.

    • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

      my guess would be he was backed by some local or national interests where the ownership/management/board of directors didn’t mirror the diversity of the district.

    • Vel Venturi

      Typical gerrymandering fuckery, from what I am told.

    • SadDemInTex

      The hispanics in Texas vote Republican. One: they want to be part of the ruling class Two: they eventually check White on their census. Look at Cruz: Cubans have at least 50% African DNA in their mix but will ALWAYS check White on census forms in the US. (janecita, have your DNA done then bust my butt).

      • miss_grundy

        I disagree with your point on Cubans. Probably there has been more inter-racial marriages after Castro came to power but I think Cubans that came to the U.S. before Castro probably have more Spaniard in their DNA than African. And Cuba was very much a melting pot since you had people from all over living there. A friend of mine actually met a Korean-Cuban at Miami International Airport, which was a new one for both of us since there are so many Chinese-Cubans.

      • Celtic_Gnome

        Jancita, don’t have your DNA done. The paperwork you sign gives the company ownership of your genome, and they sell that to research companies looking for mutations and anomalies that can open the door to new medical treatments. If they find one, the DNA company gets the bonus, not you.

        Welcome to the 21st century under Republican rule, where you can be tricked into giving away the rights to your own genome so some corporate dickwad can make another buck off of you.

        • SadDemInTex

          God forbid we do anything for science unless we get a piece of its monetary value. You forgot to mention that insurance companies want the info so they can deny care down the line for a genetic pre existing condition. However do not argue with me about your actual background if you do not do it because you will never know the truth. I refer again to this study done by a Cuban research scientist.

  • Spot Letton

    “If it was a guy from south Texas, I might ask him to step outside and settle this Aaron Burr-style.”

    That would be so super-great that we should actually start a GoFundMe to make it happen. Under the rules, the challenged party gets to name the venue, weapons, and mode of combat. The notorious Texas gunfighter Ben Thompson, challenged to a dual by a banker, specified daggers, in a small room, in total darkness. It wasn’t pretty.

    • cats530

      In the picture, it looks like he might be groping someone’s bottom. But I’m not sure which one.

    • whitroth

      Oh, oh, challenge *me*. I choose medieval weapons, and I get to use my SCA mace and shield, with my steel sword as backup weapon….

      • I say go even weirder and use those judicial dueling shields.

        • Spot Letton

          Seeing Fatty’s face looming over my post, “wine bottles, in a hotel room, when you’re stone drunk” is seeming increasingly appropriate for Farenthold.

      • Last Hussar

        Syringes full of laxative.
        Rob the Pastie’s choice in Traveller, circa 1989 or 90

    • Hardly Ideal

      I’ve heard it said that Abraham Lincoln was challenged to a duel once, so he chose broadswords to take advantage of his height and freakishly long arms. The challenger wisely chickened out.

      So… halberds at noon?

  • ken_kukec

    Roscoe “Fatty” Arbuckle redux.

    History repeats itself, the first time as silent comedy, the second time as political farce.

  • cats530

    Jabba The Hutt Gets Jiggy With It

  • Spot Letton

    Since the Bush II ascension, Alfred E. Neuman comparisons have become sort of the Hitler comparisons of the Papoon left, but honestly, this guy…

  • Mavenmaven

    Texas gets the leadership it deserves, unfortunately for the rest of us.

    • Vel Venturi

      As a Texan, I can only agree. It’s like living in a daily facepalm.

      • whitroth

        Why, is the Lege* in session?

        1. God’s gift to columnists
        2. Our towns is missing their idiots.
        Why’d you have to go so soon, Molly?

  • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨


    It just seems like 17 years because Trump is President.

    • kaydenpat

      President Dumb as Hair.

  • There are descriptions of medieval duels between men and women in which the dude, armed with a club, had to stand in a hole up to his waist, and the woman was armed with a rock tied into a long strip of cloth.

    Now, that’s what I call traditional family values.

    • Spot Letton

      That’s what I call hit reality TV show in the making.

      • BeachBum

        I would watch that.

    • kaydenpat

      I could get behind that depending on who’s the man in the hole. Just saying.

  • JoeChristmas

    Solid Christian values!

  • Farenthold in a duel reminds me of a bit from Mervyn Peake’s ‘Titus Groan’:

    “The blows had no more than gored him. Of Swelter’s acreage, only a
    perch or two here and there might, if broken, prove vulnerable loam.
    That he bled profusely could prove little. There was blood in him to
    revitalize an anemic army, with enough left over to cool the guns.
    Placed end to end his blood vessels might have coiled up the Tower of
    Flints and half way down again like a Virginia creeper – a vampire’s
    home from home.”

  • SterWonk

    As I mentioned on FB: On top of all the other fuckery, this dumbass also needs a remedial geography lesson. Maine is in the Northwest, but West Virginia isn’t, and Alaska really isn’t! FFS!

  • kaydenpat

    It’s amazing how Christ-like he is. No, really. And so good looking too.

    • BreakingDeadMen

      He makes me say “Christ!” every time I see him or hear something he said.

    • Keith Taylor

      Yes. He’d have a lot of trouble making those pyjamas look stylish if he wasn’t.

      • kaydenpat


  • Johnny Appleseed

    Blake Farenthold, 1st Class Asshole!

    • amrak63

      Blake Farenthold, No-Class Asshole!


    • HeyYouKidsGetOffMyLawn

      Blake Farenthold, Rapey, Talking Wall of Fat!

  • BreakingDeadMen

    If Blake Farenthold didn’t exist, a great satirist would have to invent him.

    • disqus_lWwzrwNaw6

      Actually, if Blake Farenthold didn’t exist, I would very much thank a great satirist for just leaving well enough alone.

  • BreakingDeadMen

    It’s like Flounder (RIP) had an accident and they transplanted Alfred E. Newman’s face on him.

    • BearDeLaOursistance

      My whole childhood libelz!!1!

  • azeyote

    sick Medusa on his ass

  • JustDon’tSaySortMyBalls
    • Eileen Besse

      Once again–thank you.

  • SadDemInTex
  • Buzz1313

    Must be nice to get away with saying stupid shit and knowing you’ll keep your job.

  • Portia McGonagal

    Capito is , I think, a distance runner. Like for 30 years or something. Murkowski is in shape. Even Collins could probably easily take him in a fight. What’s he going to duel with? Pork Rinds?

    • BeachBum

      He is a idiot.

    • BearDeLaOursistance

      Hopefully, lots and lots of Texas Democrats with votes.

  • TootsStansbury

    The only response I have to any Republican is: Fuck off you treasonous, unAmerican, authoritarian.

  • Kooolest G

    hey blake, if you’re looking for somebody from south texas to go all aaron burr on, might I recommend these nice looking boys. and the little one even has some experience getting shot in the face already.

  • mancityRed6

    I’d kick him in the balls if I could find them.

    • Anita Ledford

      I’m second in line!

  • Relativicus

    Oh, yeah? Do a lot of “dueling” do you? Schmuck.

  • Bitter Scribe

    I forget…is he the bald douche in the splatter shirt or the mama’s boy in the duckie PJs?

    • furyleika


  • Saxo the Grammarian

    If I lived in Texas, I would send this to every elected official with an “R” after his name.

  • miss_grundy

    The female senators are probably better shots than he is. He is lucky that these women have to behave collegially, because this guy needs a spanking–without benefit of votes. Where’s Sr. Juliana and her Red Paddle when we need her?

  • BeachBum

    I, for one, would bet the farm on Murcowski at 50 paces with any kind of powder fueled projectile weapon. He sounds like all talk, no action, and I am very much tired of hearing it.

    • Sarah E. Grove

      Yep. And this asshole would be a much wider, bigger target to hit. I’m betting on Susan Collins in the duel idea.

  • JD Mulvey

    Susan Collins, age 64, would snap this pudding of a man like a dried twig.

  • The Militant Homosexual Agenda

    A fucking pig elected by fucking pigs. Bunch of pig fuckers.

    • Daniel Nee


  • norcalOG

    Even in Texas, how pathetic

  • KatieAnnieOakley

    I like his jammies. Where did he get them – the Ringling Brothers Clearance Center?

  • abstract668

    How could I have missed that photo with Blake in the duckie pjs and the “models”? What went on before and after that photo? Who’s his male partner in that pic? Much to unpack here.

    And wtf Corpus Christi voters, electing this clown after you’ve seen this picture?

    • JD Mulvey

      You’re suggesting that Texas voters have standards?

  • Ruhe

    I was thinking “Congressman Flounder” but then I remembered that Flounder was actually the nice sort of innocent kid in that film.

  • theonlyseven

    Aaron Burr? You mean the guy who was eventually charged with treason?

    • JD Mulvey

      And whose political career was over? And died a national disgrace?

      Yup… Farenthold aspires to such heights.

  • Sarah Swift
    Hot mic moment of Sens. Collins and Jack Reed discussing this.

  • Someone observed he looks like a Mad Magazine caricature come to life

    • Grokenstein

      I can see that. I had initially pegged him as resembling fart-monster Windy Winston from The Garbage Pail Kids Movie, but there’s definitely some Alfred E. Neuman in that photo above.

  • “Aaron Burr-style.”
    Well, then, that person would get the last laugh, because 200 years later, Lin-Manuel Miranda would write an arse-kicking broadway show about them.

  • rubikcube

    I’ll never listen to Tenacious D the same way again. (sad, Sick!)

  • handyhippie65

    yeah, like this fat piece of duck shit could hold a gun at arm’s length long enough to hit the broad side of a barn, let alone someone shooting back at him. though, as approximately the size of a barn door, his opponent would have an excellent target.

  • Maybe

    How dare Susan Collins, Lisa Murkowski, and Shelly Moore Capito represent their constituents’ interests!

    Farenthold never makes that mistake.

  • WotsAllThisThen

    He doesn’t strike me as the type to settle anything Aaron Burr style. He looks more likely to settle things Bud Dwyer style.

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