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HE’S TOTALLY INNOCENT THOUGH

Last Friday, we heard about a new attendee at Donald Trump Jr.’s big exciting Russian conspiracy meeting at Trump Tower, a Russian spy (uh huh “former Russian intelligence officer” LOL no such thing) and hacker named Rinat Ahkmetshin. It’s totally normal, when you have a meeting about how it’s sad that bouncy Russian babies can’t be adopted by Americans, to have a Russian spy/hacker come along, but whatever! Soon after, there were rumblings that somebody ELSE was there. An eighth person! That person has now been identified by the Washington Post. His name is Irakly “Ike” Kaveladze, and surprise, he is a fucking Russian:

An American-based employee of a Russian real estate company took part in a June 2016 Trump Tower meeting between a Russian lawyer and Donald Trump Jr. […]

Ike Kaveladze’s presence was confirmed by Scott Balber, an attorney for Emin and Aras Agalarov, the Russian developers who hosted the Trump-owned Miss Universe pageant in 2013. Balber said Kaveladze works for the Agalarovs’ company and attended as their representative.

Think Progress notes that Kaveladze is a vice president of the Agalarovs’ real estate company, and back in the 1990s, he “was allegedly at the center of a 1.4 BILLION RUSSIAN MONEY LAUNDERING SCHEME,” as TP’s Judd Legum put it on Twitter. Sounds like a Trump associate to us!

By the way, the WaPo reports that the attorney Balber (who has also represented Trump, according to Think Progress!) got a little phone call from special counsel Robert Mueller’s office this weekend, just askin’ who the eighth person in the meeting was. Mueller is ON THE FUCKING CASE.

OK, so let’s get this straight. Those attending this meeting included 1) TrumpSqueak Junior, 2) Paul Manafort, 3) Jared Kushner, 4) Natalia Veselnitskaya, the Russian lady lawyer, 5) her translator, Anatoli Samochornov, 6) Rob Goldstone, the British music publicist for Russian pop star/business dude Emin Agalarov who facilitated the meeting, 7) that fucking Russian spy, and 8) this FNR (“Fucking New Russian”) Ike, who was just there repping for the Agalarovs. Got it? EIGHT PEOPLE. That we know of. So far. Until we find out there were like a thousand other Russian spies there, all piled in together like freshly caught shrimps.

So that is a LOT of Russians to have in a meeting that was just about bouncy Russian babies. (Isn’t that what Sean Spicer said it was on Monday?) And it’s super weird why a representative of a Russian oligarch who is butt-buddies with Vladimir Putin (Papa Agalarov) would need to be there for that. UNLESS it was really about offering a conspiracy quid pro quo to the Trump campaign in the form of “official documents and information that would incriminate Hillary,” as “part of Russia and its government’s support for Mr. Trump.” Oh wait, that’s what Rob Goldstone said in the email he sent to Junior when he set the meeting up in the first place! We know this because Junior tweeted out the emails, proving his innocence by showing everyone precisely how guilty he is.

A couple things to note here: Natalia Veselnitskaya has been fighting against Russian sanctions for YEARS. She’s a crusader against the Magnitsky Act, the repeal of which the Washington Post says “is seen in Russia as a first step to ending all sanctions.” So, to review, “Repealing Magnitsky Act” is code for “Get Rid Of Sanctions.” And talking about American adoptions of Russian babies is code for repealing the Magnitsky Act, because Russia banned those adoptions in retaliation for the passage of the Magnitsky Act.

MEANWHILE! Rinat Akhmetshin, the spy/hacker dude, is an American citizen who has been working as a lobbyist for the purpose of … GETTING RID OF THE MAGNITSKY ACT, AKA THE SANCTIONS.

MEANWHILE! Aras Agalarov, the oligarch Putin BFF who sent this Ike Kaveladze character to Junior’s Russian conspiracy meeting, worked with Daddy Donald to build a Trump Tower Moscow, until that plan ended up in the shitter in 2014 because of … THE SANCTIONS, according to Rob Goldstone, the music publicist go-between who set up and attended the meeting. The Agalarovs worked with Trump on the Miss Universe 2013 pageant, where Trump may/may not have been videotaped in the throes of a traditional Muscovian Pee Hooker Shower.

Are you getting our drift about what this meeting might have been about? It’s almost like they wanted to do conspiracies with the Trump campaign, in exchange for … GETTING RID OF THE SANCTIONS.

Indeed, if you want to read something really interesting and background-y (that coincidentally features almost all the Russians who attended Junior’s Trump Tower Russian Sexxx Orgy), check out this thing The Daily Beast published in May of 2016 about “Putin’s Dirty Game in the U.S. Congress.” It explains how, ever since the passage of the Magnitsky Act, Russia has been using ITS OWN disabled children as bait to try to get the sanctions lifted. You see, a lot of the bouncy Russian babies adopted by Americans were “kids with Down syndrome and spina bifida,” according to a U.S. official quoted by the Daily Beast. So basically Russia’s argument here was, “If you repeal that law and lift the sanctions, WE’LL LET OUR OWN KIDS LIVE.” Russia is run by really high quality characters.

Rinat Akhmetshin (the spy/hacker/lobbyist) had a hand in setting up an organization in Delaware called the Human Rights Accountability Global Initiative Foundation (a totally #FakeNews kind of name), represented by Natalia Veselnitskaya and Anatoli Samochornov, the “translator” who attended the Trump Tower meeting. (Apparently not just a “translator!”) If you’ll remember, Veselnitskaya was also a lawyer representing the Russian company Prevezon in the money-laundering case New York U.S. Attorney Preet Bharara was in the process of fucking in the ass when Trump fired him.

We’re going to go out on a limb here and say that, on top of Putin’s obvious fear and loathing of a Hillary Clinton presidency, we feel like we’re starting to get a pretty good grasp on the “tat” Russia wanted in exchange for the “tit” it was offering in helping Donald Trump win the presidency.

And what did disgraced former national security adviser/literal actual foreign agent Michael Flynn tell the Russian ambassador when President Barack Obama confiscated Russian spy mansions in Maryland, kicked Russian diplomats/spies out of the country, and levied new sanctions against Russia for its election meddling? He said, “DO NOT GET MAD! WE WILL TAKE CARE OF THOSE SANCTIONS AFTER THE INAUGURATION!”

And what is Donald Trump doing right now? Oh just giving Russia back the spy mansions Obama stoled and working behind the scenes to get Congress to kill its bipartisan efforts to put new sanctions on Russia. And as we noted, Trump fired that mean lawyer Preet Bharara, who’s had Russia’s fucking number for a long time.

Is there ANYTHING Donald Trump is doing as president that doesn’t look like he’s doing Russia’s bidding in exchange for them helping him win the 2016 election? NYET. 

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[Washington Post]

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  • The Wanderer

    Mmmmm, freshly caught shrimp . . .

    Huh? What? Oh, yeah, the Russian thing.

  • cmd resistor

    So I heard on NPR today that they were discussing those spy mansions yesterday for 2 hours and the Russians kind of made some veiled threat because we didn’t give them back yet.

    • Everrett Fanuelli

      Pee Tape?

      • Wild Cat

        I think Dear Leader was more into Snuff Film antics when he was Viagra-ing it up in Moscow. And of course, children.

    • JMP

      Stupid Vladimir, if you were paying attention you would have learned that Donald always refuses to pay what he’s promised to in his contracts.

  • FauxAntocles

    So the Twittersphere agrees the event was catered, but I want to know if they had a live band or a DJ! Also, too, Russian dancing, American dancing OR BOTH?!?

  • Wild Cat

    Bungle Junior is so adorable he’s going to get a million marriage proposals from serial-killer groupies.

  • canes_pugnaces
    • Three Finger Salute

      Gromit libelz!

    • armed_bears

      I sense Gromit would not accept a role in Trump’s defense team.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    My internet access was down for a day and I was wondering if anything in the world would change when I got back. I see things are exactly the same…

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/d672fd027b27106523dbd2222ecd21fa423eceeedbb943b050b416d23af39010.jpg

  • Crystalclear12

    Yes, but what does Greenwald say?

    • Wild Cat

      “Yo, Amy and Julian, where’s the money, bitches!”

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      hurr durr, Hillary is the real monster! The Dems are the bad guys!

      (just a guess)

    • Villago Delenda Est

      “These are not the Russian mobsters you’re looking for. Move along.”

    • Joe Beese
    • JMP

      There is NO EVIDENCE WHATSOEVER that anyone from the Trump campaign has ever even spoken to any Russians! Also here is the name, address and social security number of the whistleblower foolish enough to leak proof of Trump’s Treason to the Intercept, go arrest her boys!

  • Toledo Window Box

    Once the dope on all the money laundering starts coming out, the Russian collusion is going to seem like a parking ticket, and Trump is into it up to his chins.

    • Bananas Foster

      Can we wait until it covers his face?

    • La forza del resistino

      I can hear Hal ‘DeepThroat’ Holbrook in the parking lot – follow the money

    • Joe Beese

      And the beauty part is that none of it matters. You won’t find 12 Republican Senators to convict even if he sells nukes to ISIS.

      • Toledo Window Box

        Not until they think their jobs depend on it.

      • mailman27

        Beauty part, death of democracy part; potato,etc.

  • Zippy W Pinhead

    That meeting is like a Russian nesting doll- you keep opening one spy up and you find a tinier Russian spy inside…

  • Zippy W Pinhead
    • Villago Delenda Est

      The eye is surrounded by orange haze.

      • Raan

        It’s like purple haze, except instead of getting you high it makes you vomit uncontrollably all over Twitter.

    • Bill D. Burger

      Yoooge’ damaging windbags….and they should be renamed Trumpical Storms.

      http://www.freakingnews.com/pictures/131000/Hurricane-Donald–131120.jpg

    • The Wanderer

      Its track comes close to Trinidad, and I hope my friend down there will be okay.

      • suziq

        Sounds like they are expecting 3-6″ of rain but I think that is about it? Thoughts and prayers! But seriously, hope all is well.

  • Gee, Your Hair Smells Horrific

    They want their spy mansions back? They can have them! I’m sure the FBI has totally bugged every inch of them, even though the FBI is under the authoirty of Jeff Sessions who . . . who gets his marching orders from Trump . . .
    Yeah never mind.

  • Jennaratrix

    Wait until the Trumpeteers find out that Russia wasn’t helping Trump win so he could make America great again, but so that Trump could make money/not have the pee tape released. They’re gonna be so mad!

    Oh, wait. They’re going to scream “Fake news!” and keep trying to take everything away from not-white people.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      That’s the bottom line. They don’t know about the “scratch a Russian, find a Tatar” meme.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      Most of them will never even hear the truth because they won’t read/watch any news other than FOX/Breitbart/etc. The ones that do will dig in their heels and scream fake news.

      CULT 45

  • azeyote

    looks like they are gutting funds for national cyber security to make sure we don’t interfere with Russia next time –

  • memzilla Ω

    Matryoshka dolls make a good visual representation of how many Russians are involved with Dolt 45 and the GOP.
    . https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/cd2ea0a011261eab673aa4513a327fa754adcbe0673441af2f600703b08344c7.jpg

  • Gayer Than Thou

    I wouldn’t want any of this people to grasp either my tat or my tit.

    • Covfefe

      Donald taps tats because, being famous, he can get away with it.

  • Anna Rompage

    I think the one thing that is being left out, rightfully so as it’s a little speculative in the moment, is that Donad had already been doing a lot of real estate/money laundering business with these cats, well before the election…

    There was a long period of time where western banks would not do business with the Trump clan, and their money was coming from shady Russian sources…

    I’ve got some over priced condos to sell? We’ll I’ve got a lot of dirty Russian money that needs to be cleaned up. It’s like Putin chocolate & peanut butter together, and Trumping up that you’ve made the best creation since sliced bread…….

    • suziq

      Long period of time going to the present. Hasn’t ended yet, but let’s hope it lands in jail for someone finally!

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      When your business model is to buy when the market is hot and sell when the market is bad, money that needs a little Fabreeze comes in handy.

    • Rags

      His sons have confirmed that Russian $$ were very big for them for decades.

  • La forza del resistino

    Yikes. The meeting is approaching the size of the cast of Dr Zhivago.

    • suziq

      But with more Russians!

      • La forza del resistino

        Right. Omar Sharif and Julie Christie had terrible Russian accents too.

    • Bill D. Burger

      Needz’ moar’ Battleship Potemkin

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      The hunt for Red November

      • Snark Tank Full of Resistance

        Clear and Present Dumbass

        (ETA: Yeah, I know that’s the drug one, but The Sum of All Fears doesn’t lend itself to the pun…)

        • Bananas Foster

          From Russia with Love

          • Three Finger Salute

            The Man With the Golden Showers

      • schmannity

        Pee Pee Herman’s Great Adventure.

  • Sophia

    Just idle curiosity but it seems everyone at the meeting so far should speak English. Who was the translator translating for. Was Donnie 2 scoops actually at the meeting and they needed someone to translate his argle bargle into English?

    • Raan

      Aaand bombshell 9th Russian in three, two…

  • Snark Tank Full of Resistance
  • Bureaucrap

    “Is there ANYTHING Donald Trump is doing as president that doesn’t look like he’s doing Russia’s bidding in exchange for them helping him win the 2016 election?”

    Golfing?

  • schmannity

    Trump: Where’s my son, son-in-law, and campaign manager?

    Aide: They’re in a meeting, but you’re not allowed to know with whom, where, why, and who else is there.

    Trump: Gosh, I wonder what that’s about.

    –what the average Trump apologist thinks.

    • Joe Beese

      Worse. They don’t think the meeting happened (FAKE NEWS) – even though Junior said it did.

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        Sad, but true. They think the whole thing is libtard lies from sour grapes Dems

  • susan_g

    “Russia has been using ITS OWN disabled children”

    That must have given cheeto the idea for the “saving” Charlie Gard stunt.

  • Run2Live
    • Three Finger Salute

      One problem with that graphic: Trump isn’t a pro at anything. Except winning in his own spinoff wrestling league called Extreme Championship Bankruptcy™.

    • Mormos

      this should be on the front page on the NYT

      • Msgr_MΩment

        Yeah. How do newspaper headline writers get to go all-caps, and nobody says it makes them look like imbeciles?

    • mailman27

      CAN YOU IMAGINE IF THE OBAMA ADMINISTRATION HAD COMPLETELY IGNORED RUSSIAN HACKING OF A US ELECTION FOR FUCKS SAKE????? I MEAN COME ON, MAN!!! THIS IS THE ONLY NEWS. All caps is not so cleansing after all. But seriously.

  • AnnieGetYerFun

    O/T, guys, but I need to vent. A high school friend of mine (I’ll call her Sarah) who I only see occasionally recently married someone that we both went to high school with (I’ll call him Dick). Sarah had actually been married to a foreign-born not-white guy (really smart, handsome, but controlling and without much of a sense of humor) for something like 17 years. She got divorced over issues I won’t go into here, dated around a bit, and then out of the blue, connected with Dick and married him 3 months later (this was, like, two weeks ago).

    Dick is a complete fuckwit. Like many guys from my hometown, he’s handsome and stupid. A jock. A Trump supporter (of course). And although I have no way to prove it, I don’t doubt for a second that he’s a sexist asswipe who whirlwinded Sarah into this marriage and is going to treat her terribly.

    Here’s my question: Sarah and I aren’t super-close. We like each other a lot, but we live just far enough away from each other that it’s hard to get together (plus, I have young kids who are annoying). Do I try to keep her close to keep an eye on her stupid fucking husband? I don’t want to be friends with him, by any means. Do I mind my own damn business?

    I ask because I was in an abusive relationship for years, and none of my friends or family ever stepped in and said “This is not OK, this needs to stop.” Everyone just let me flounder (my parents didn’t know, or they would have killed the guy). So I’m hyper-vigilant about this stuff and I’m scared for Sarah.

    • shivaskeeper

      You say you’re not particularly close with her and are assuming things you can’t prove about him. This will not end well for you if you get involved.

      • AnnieGetYerFun

        I don’t mean that I step up now and go “Hey, you’re new husband is a terrible person!” but do I try to keep an ear to the ground in the coming months?

        • jowgajen

          If this is a good excuse for you to make time to talk to Sarah on the phone/Facetime regularly then take it?

          From the info given, I think you maybe selling Dick short. He’s undoubtedly older and wiser than when you knew him. Perhaps you don’t know what’s gone down in his life. Newlyweds do like to talk about their spouses, so perhaps chat her up about it. It will either clarify why she’s into him or give you evidence to support your assumption.

          • AnnieGetYerFun

            Actually, I don’t remember him at all from high school – he blended into the generally white, obnoxious population that made up the young men at my high school. I’m basing my opinion of him now on things he has said online; it’s all I currently have to go on.

        • Beanz&Berryz

          Semper vigilans. Mottos of the Vivil Air Patrol and San Diego Cal.

        • shivaskeeper

          Of course, if she is a friend. The next question is; if things are going south when, where, and how do you step in? If you are going to monitor for the sake of looking for problems you are going to be obligated to bring the problems to light.

  • JMP

    Anyone would have conspired with the Russians to steal emails from the opposing campaign! According to sociopathic morons, it’s telling how the truly evil always just presume that everyone else is secretly as awful as they are and would do the same nefarious shit they do.

    • Well put’n.

    • FukuiSanYesOta

      That’s what Nixon thought.

  • Vincent Ricola

    That peepee tape must be a motherfucker – like a literal tape of Donald fucking the remains of his dead mom – to garner this much slurping of Putin’s balls and full on treasons.

    • spangled

      one year from now: “who hasn’t been peed on by russian hookers? we all would do it if we could! and barillary oblinton was peed on by ukranian hookers you hypocrite!”

    • Randy Riddle

      I’ve got two words for you: Noah Cross.

      And I’ll just leave it at that.

  • Pax Americana Per Ars Smith
  • AnnieGetYerFun

    This is getting a bit War & Peace-y (or if you prefer, Game of Thrones-y) for me and I think I need some family trees and timelines that I can print out and cross-reference.

    • Vincent Ricola

      I can send you my documentation. It’s basically a picture of Donald with a straight line drawn to Putin, but it may help.

    • cmd resistor

      Yeah, I was getting the rap guy’s dad mixed up with the new guy #8, although I guess since #8 works for the rap guy’s dad I wasn’t too far off.

      • Vincent Ricola

        картошка картошка

      • mailman27

        The rap guy’s “art” is undeniably weak, but the eyebrow work deserves a mention.

    • FukuiSanYesOta

      I’ve never seen GoT, but have read war and peace.

      It’s going to take more than a Glenn Beck blackboard to sort this shitifest out.

      Oh, hello, Robert Mueller.

    • Three Finger Salute

      Sacrificing disabled babies sounds very Trump of the Will-y. I don’t think I can bear looking into the abyss of human evil for much longer.

      Come on Kim, hurry up and nuke the planet already.

      • FukuiSanYesOta

        I’d rather he didnt. There are a lot of people who don’t suck out there. Like wonketeers.

        • Three Finger Salute

          But our lives and futures hinge on the whim of untouchable sadists, including but not limited to Trump, Sessions, McConnell, Ryan, DeVos, Putin, the Kochs, Erdogan, Duterte, Netanyahu, the Saudis, the oil companies, the banker cartels, Murdoch and his hate-media ilk, and their useful idiots. As a species, we dun fucked up bigly, and it’s time for us to go before we do any more damage to the earth or to each other.

  • Suttree

    Before this all ends, there will be more characters than GoT. It isn’t any wonder that Turnipheads lost track of what’s happening after the first page.

    • Duke

      Did you read those books? Interminable! Always killed my new favorite characters right after they became favorites. Yeah… They come back as zombies and shit but what’s the point in that? Does Ned come back as a White Walker and kill the dragons himself? Whatever…

      • Suttree

        I actually didn’t. Watching in on TV is quite enough for me.

      • therblig

        i listened to the audible versions read by roy dotrice. he did a fabulous job with the first 3 in keeping all the voices separate. by the 4th, because it took so long to come out, i think he forgot which voices went with which characters. especially the female characters, which all got a generic female voice. kind of lost interest.

        plus, all the candles guttered. and all the crossbows thrummed. every.damn.one

        • aureolaborealis

          Well, he did write for television.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        Ned didn’t die north of the wall, so no return.

        • ltmcdies

          this how you know a devotee from a dabbler…how many people know “north of the Wall” shit…

          well done

      • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

        Not to mention he needs to catch up writing the books, the show passed the books. So they are doing the writing now.

        • right?

          • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

            I think the problem is he was a big nerd (not that there is anything wrong with that) But since he got the tv series it has gone to his head and he is having way more fun than writing.

          • he’s gonna die before he finishes them. i mean what? 2 books?
            seriously.

            having trudged thru all of them (man, the dorne stuff. don’t even remember the book….) i am SO glad the hollywood showrunners have the ending.

          • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

            I know right? And having dealt with poor Robert Jordan’s demise during the Wheel of Time series, I’m not into doing that again. However Jordan’s widow got Brandon Sanderson to finish the series. Maybe that will become the thing to do.(He is actually a better more concise writer.) George does get a bit bloated with details and excess pov characters.

      • Charles Insandiego

        I, for one, read the books, years ago, and am waiting for the last (?) one. TV fucked it up, as usual.

        • nah they’re awesome.

        • Duke

          I’m going to read it, too. It might be a hate read. Is there such a thing?

    • armed_bears

      Who is The Mountain? Bannon?
      Cersei, obvs, is Ivanka.
      Flynn is the one-handed guy..? (sorry, I just watch, not follow).
      Spicer is Little Flinger. pun intended.
      Al Franken as Jon Snow?
      Others?

      • Villago Delenda Est

        Flynn is NOT Jamie Lannister, the one-handed guy. Key plot point: Cersei and Jamie are brother and sister, screw each other, all of Robert Baratheon’s supposed children are actually Jamie’s.

        • armed_bears

          Yeah… I am weak on plot and characters. Like Ian McShane, I watch GoT for the tits and dragons. (Just more evidence of McShane’s greatness…)

          • Villago Delenda Est

            Ian McShane was a character in one of the 6th season eps, too, and was GREAT at it!

          • armed_bears

            Yeah… sorta biting the hand that feeds.

          • armed_bears
          • Villago Delenda Est

            The GoT guys didn’t have a problem with that :D

          • george lastrapes

            Upvote for honesty! Now, imagine dragons with tits. Then see their heads talking on Fox News. More than I can stand, fsure.

        • Finnibar87

          And now they have no heirs left.

      • TJ Barke

        Little Finger libel. He’s a master conspiracist. Sean hides in the bushes.

        • armed_bears

          Yeah, but “Flinger’ just seemed right.

        • Villago Delenda Est

          True dat. Little Finger is one of the most devious bastards in all of Westeros. Set Ned up for execution, in part because he lusted after Ned’s wife, Catelyn, and has for all his life.

      • Vincent Ricola

        White Walkers are the GOP congress.

        • armed_bears

          This is a reference I get!

        • TJ Barke

          And the deplorables are the army of the dead.

      • spangled

        paul ryan is ramsay bolton, mitch mcconnell is walder frey

        • armed_bears

          Watch out for the serving girls at Cracker Barrel, Mitch.

      • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

        Trump is Joffrey. I think it’s tough to match characters because right now there aren’t many people on the Trump side with the brains and deviousness of the show characters. Putin is Littlefinger. Tyron is obviously Al Franken. I think Hillary was Ned Stark, although she was killed politically, not literally.

        • armed_bears

          Yeah, although I was thinking of the Snow Cone King…. or whatever his name is.

  • Randy Riddle

    I would say “follow the money”, but, in this case, the rubles are dressed in neon red, jumping up and down, and screaming “Over here! Over here!”

  • Beanz&Berryz

    Trump Tower Moscow got nixed by sanctions? After how Many billion rubles got almost laundered but then lost? So maybe it’s not just on-going deals, maybe there’s a butt load of pre-paid money on TTM that the Trumps need to cover? Just asking..

  • It’s really horrible that this show didn’t get any Emmy nominations for its depiction of a modern day corrupt crime family getting in over their heads with Russian oligarchs and the mafia as they conspired to win the presidency.

    This is great drama.

    No… it’s not real. It’s not real. LALALALALALALA…

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      I think it’s more like comedy. Bumbling incompetents, Russians going in and out of the room like some 18th century French bedroom farce. Idiots who are lured into a spy plot while believing that they are the smartest guys in the room a la Breaking Bad ( which actually had some very dark comedy btw).

      • Raan

        Is this whole thing a mash-up of The Man Who Knew Too Little and Spies Like Us?

        • Three Finger Salute

          Also Spy Hard, Get Smart… pretty much any Cold War satire or spy spoof at this point.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      It’s not believable enough. Who would write this crap and think anybody would believe it?

  • Bill D. Burger
    • Raan

      “Cyril, you’ll be in charge of laundering.”
      “Hm. I’ll start looking for a laundromat.”
      “Money laundering, you ass!”
      *smug silence*
      “Oh. You mean as a front, because a laundromat is a cash based business. Why don’t I just leave that whole side of the operation to you?”
      “Only if you promise to periodically micromanage it and emasculate me.”
      “Cyril. I would have thought that goes without saying.”

  • Joe Beese

    Smell the leadership!

    President Donald Trump is having lunch with service members to come up with new ideas for fighting the war in Afghanistan.

    Trump tells reporters before the lunch on Tuesday that he wants “to find out why we’ve been there for 17 years, how it’s going and what we should do in terms of additional ideas.”

    He adds that: “We have plenty of ideas from a lot of people, but I want to hear it from people on the ground.”

    The Trump administration has been searching for an improved approach to achieving the goal it inherited from the Obama administration: getting the Afghan government to a point where it can defend itself.

    He’s largely ceded decision-making to Defense Secretary Jim Mattis, who is expected to send nearly 4,000 more troops to the country this summer.

    http://talkingpointsmemo.com/news/trump-afghanistan-ideas-service-members

    • Three Finger Salute

      I’m going to guess “turn it into glass” is still on the table.

    • TundraGrifter

      If President Trump seriously wants to know why it has taken 17 years to not accomplish much in Afghanistan, he can read Winston Churchill’s’ excellent book “The Malawand Field Force.”

      Or he can reflect on the fact that there hasn’t been a successful invasion of Afghanistan, oh since Alexander the Fucking Great.

      Or he can look into the Bush Administration’s failure to form an international coalition instead of just hauling off and going it alone, cowboy style, and then abandoning the effort when distracted by the bright, glittery prospect of invading Iraq.

    • Raan

      Well, back before you lost your goddamn mind, a bunch of Saudis based in Afghanistan and Pakistan flew planes into some of our very important buildings because their leader was butthurt that Saudi Arabia let the US attack from their territory during the Gulf War.

      And then we invaded Iraq again, Because Reasons.

      • Three Finger Salute

        “Their leader” being a CIA-trained asset praised by Reagan.

        It’s treasonous Republicans all the way down.

  • Bill D. Burger

    Won’t be long before Putin’s Pawn tells Junior that he’s adopted.

    http://api.theweek.com/sites/default/files/lk071617dAPR.jpg?resize=700×700

    • Me not sure

      That unfortunate face and lack of a chin betrays that lie.

    • Raan

      You look at the sentient dingleberries that are Don Jr. and Eric and tell me Burgermeister Meisterburger isn’t the bio dad.

  • Mr. Blobfish
    • Suttree

      Blobfish libel!

  • Michael Smith
    • Snopes Shop

      That. Is. AMAZING.

  • Bill D. Burger

    “Bbbbbbuttt…we were only there to help the babies! Won’t somebody please think of the children.”

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/9511103643a2ed023efe08d5bdd3bccace2aa42534e184dd9fa3ee84c59b3028.jpg

  • chimpevil

    For his exemplary work covering the Trump-Russia fooferaw, Evan should get a Pulitzer, or at the very least should be allowed to adopt a Russian boy baby (18 yrs plus!) of his choice.

    • FukuiSanYesOta

      I’m uncomfortable with this post. Evan should do whatever he wants within reason, but there’s an assumption I don’t like.

      Evan is awesome and just needs to be him.

      • chimpevil

        I’m sorry if anyone was offended by my post. How about if I change it to a Russian wolfhound, would that be better?

        • FukuiSanYesOta

          Oh, hai, Rick Santorum.

  • Joe Beese

    It was always about the money. The reason we never saw the tax returns was because of what they would show about the money. The reason we can’t get a straight answer about the family’s dealings with the Russians is the money. Preet Bharara got fired because of the money and how the money had been allegedly laundered. James Comey got fired because of the money. Without the money, specifically the money from Russia, the Trump empire likely would have collapsed under a hail of writs and the paterfamilias would have been rendered invisible, even in the mirrors of Mar-a-Lago.

    It always was about the money. The meeting on June 6, 2016 ultimately was about the money, as we learned today from CNN.

    http://www.esquire.com/news-politics/politics/news/a56395/trump-russia-money/

    • BeachBum

      So do we follow the money ?

  • (((fka_donnie_d)))

    My question is, at what point do our military hackers get let off the leash? I mean, everybody knows that Putin is a creepy thug, but surely there is some bank info somewhere he doesn’t want to be public?

  • Bill D. Burger

    Oh…oh___the irony! These things just present themselves effortlessly.

    https://twitter.com/mj_lee/status/887371441620037632

    And looks like he brought some cover and protection.

    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DFCYRkdVoAEbndm.jpg

    • Joe Beese

      Which one’s the trash?

      • Bill D. Burger

        po-taa-toe___po-tah-toe

        • Three Finger Salute

          Dan Quale libelz?

      • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

        Yes…?

      • redarmyzombie

        All o them, Katie.

  • Eyeball

    I love Wonkette and wish I had dozens more dollars to support it. Thanks to those who do!

  • Kakariki
    • Joe Beese

      They put a lot of effort into that.

    • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

      Nice, he even swallowed.

  • Canis Greyhame

    This is the key element the Fox News apologists conveniently glaze over when they try to claim that there’s nothing wrong with getting opposition research from an adversarial foreign government.

    Russia wouldn’t have been handing that shit over for free.

  • Joe Beese

    Mrs. Beese asked “Why was Kaveladze there?”

    I’m not sure what the short answer to that question is. He wouldn’t have been necessary for a straight “We’ll help you get elected in exchange for ending sanctions” pitch.

    • BigCSouthside

      “Muscle”. I’d bet Agalarov has laundered money through trump. A reminder that it’s not just quid pro quo, it’s also “you fucking owe us”.

    • He was told they had advance copies of GoT season 7.

  • TundraGrifter

    Do you know who else had a fake foundation?

    • Anna Rompage

      Eric Trump?

    • Tammy Faye Baker?

    • jesterpunk

      Ivanka?

    • Vincent Ricola

      Bluth Family Homes?

    • Duke

      Steven Segal?

    • lucidamente

      Charles Ponzi?

      • TundraGrifter

        I recently finished reading the very interesting “True Stories of Crime From the District Attorney’s Office” by Arthur Train (1926) and before Mr. Ponzi was William F. Miller and the “Franklin Syndicate.” There’s strong grounds to suggest we should be talking about “Miller Schemes” instead of “Ponzi Schemes.” There was also a gentleman named Robert A. Ammon, perhaps the slipperiest shyster in New York City history. And that’s saying something!

    • Bill D. Burger

      Trump…..waaaaaaaaaaay’ too much orange. Oh..did you mean???

      • TundraGrifter

        Max Factor he isn’t.

        • Invisible Bunyip

          “Maybe he’s born with it; maybe it’s Maybelline!”

          Maybelline: “Maybelline libelz!!!”

          • TundraGrifter

            Maybelline – Why can’t you be true?

    • Mpeg
    • The jerks who built that shitty McMansion down the street?

      • Raan

        Is that a King of the Hill reference?

      • TundraGrifter

        The Millennium condo building south of Market Street, San Francisco. $650 Million and the pilings weren’t driven down to bedrock. Not only multi-million dollar units now worthless – it’s a liability.

    • redarmyzombie

      Joe McCarthy?

    • TundraGrifter

      The Little Pigs who built of straw and sticks.

  • Baconzgood

    I bet the next excuse will be he is trying to start a hockey team.

    • jesterpunk

      Shouldn’t he go with Canadians then?

      • Baconzgood

        Your not a hockey fan are you.

        • jesterpunk

          The greatest hockey player ever is from Canada.

          https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/0/00/Wgretz_edit2.jpg

          • Wild Cat

            Why is Gretzky’s picture there instead of Trottier’s?

          • Baconzgood

            Or Howe or Orr or LaFuer.

            I met Trots many times when he played with the Pens. A SUPER NICE guy. Him and Phil Bourque always would talk to any fan.

          • Raan
          • Baconzgood

            That’s not Mario Lemieux

          • jesterpunk

            He is another not Russian hockey guy. But not as good as Gretzky.

          • Baconzgood

            He had cancer and on his last day of kemo he scored 2 goals. Now that’s talent. My aunts last day of kemo she slept for a week.

          • jesterpunk

            He is one of the best hockey players ever and is really talented. Can we just agree its a good thing neither of them played for the Flyers?

          • Baconzgood

            Yes. But I did love The Wrecking Ball.

    • Duke

      Yeah? But that would be cool.

      Yes, I do know the words to “O, Canada!”

    • Persistent Demme

      Hey!
      I’ve been to a hockey game!
      Surprisingly graceful, and the puck was loud!
      (The veterans with me were all bummed that the blood doesn’t flow like it used to.)

  • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

    Oh, an (alleged) money launderer. Did they also invite the wheel man and the safecracker?

    • therblig

      they thought Sessions would be their safe cracker.

  • Bill D. Burger
  • MynameisBlarney

    OT, but…

    I want bars like this down here.

    http://cheezburger.com/20997

  • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

    Now expecting Sean Hannity to switch to “of COURSE it’s fine, we all want our money laundered. Those bills could carry germs that make your kids sick. WHY IS ROBERT MUELLER TRYING TO KILL YOUR CHILDREN?!?”

  • Bill D. Burger

    https://twitter.com/BraddJaffy/status/887373986723659776

    Donald J. Trump‏Verified account
    @realDonaldTrump

    Leadership: Whatever happens, you’re responsible. If it doesn’t happen, you’re responsible.

    • Three Finger Salute

      Tired of losing

  • lucidamente

    In Russia meeting takes you.

  • Joe Beese

    Business filings list Kaveladze as the founder of a company called IBC Group, which shares a New Jersey address — 333 Sylvan Avenue in Englewood Cliffs — with several shell companies connected to Aras Agalarov.

    One of those firms is Saffron Property Management, which Agalarov reportedly used to purchase an $11 million condo in Florida last year.

    The others include CI Publishing, PB Consulting, Russian Art Mall and a company called RJI Properties, which is run by two childhood friends of Agalarov’s son, Emin, a well-known Russian pop-singer. RJI’s Instagram account links to the real estate profile of Emin Agalarov’s sister.

    A POLITICO reporter visiting the nondescript office building where all of these companies are headquartered found that the suite linked to Agalarov and Kaveladze was empty, with unopened mail sitting by the door. A sign in the lobby indicated that the suite belonged to IBC and Russian Art Mall, which was founded in 2000 and registered to Emin Agalarov, who is a partner in his father’s business.

    “They’re current on the rent. They’re on our rent roll, they’re just quiet,” George Sayrafe, who said he has managed the building for 20 years, said. “I hadn’t heard anything. Some tenants bother you, you know what I mean? These people, I haven’t seen them in a long time.”

    http://www.politico.com/story/2017/07/18/irakly-kaveladze-trump-tower-russia-eighth-man-240679

  • Skwerl the Taco Hunter
  • SayItWithWookies

    I was wondering a few days ago if the CIA would’ve had a recording of this meeting since they were following Veselnitskaya – turns out they probably have, like, ten recordings of it.

    • BeachBum

      I bet Mueller plays it everyday dur happy hour.

  • Teecha

    Is this really happening? This is so unreal as to be almost incomprehensible.

  • Wild Cat

    The Crooked Timber Moron of the Day Award:

    bruce wilder 07.18.17 at 4:38 pm
    Eszter Hargittai: “But her emails!”

    Underneath the snark and scorn for Trump (all well-deserved as far as I am concerned), I detect a completely unfounded assumption that “our” guys are OK, that this craziness infecting the political world can be attributed to one anomalous personality.

    That’s why I made my contribution @ 17 about a Democrat losing his marbles. And, lest anyone think this is isolated, consider this report from Glenn Greenwald.

    The schizophrenia overtaking western politics is general and if you don’t recognize that, chances are you are part of it.

    In American political news media, the daily drum beat of “revelations” about Trump-Russia collusion is as voluminous as it is completely without substance, 0r — and this is the important part, I suspect — much if any journalistic integrity. The American news media is in a feeding frenzy and reporters and commentators seem to know what narratives will sell, facts and perspective be damned. That is a dementia that that consumes and overtakes the commons of the collective mind and is far more serious than Trump’s age or psychological quirks.

    The most organized part of the Loyal Opposition — the rump establishment of the Democratic Party — has been relentlessly attacking the legitimacy of Trump’s Presidency and doing so with scant regard to the consequences or precedents. Should the spooks of the Intelligence Community gain a veto over the President or his Administration? Sure, why not? What could go wrong? Should we gin up intense hostility to Russia, a nuclear power? Wot, me worry?

    There’s both an unexamined complacency and an irresponsible recklessness behind the drivers of our political discourse that ought to be worrisome. These morons are not writing the scripts for Happy Days while high in a closet; they are running the world, or aspire to. And, to what end? Apparently, they have no friggin’ idea, on either side of the aisle.

  • Joe Beese
    • Wild Cat

      “Look, Ma! NO cum!”

  • goonemeritus

    Wait I thought Trump’s only connection to Russia was that he once tried Russian dressing on his Ruben.

    • beingreleased

      I’m pretty sure Trump would put ketchup on a rueben.

      • goonemeritus

        And eat it with a knife and fork.

      • Snark Tank Full of Resistance

        And the corned beef would be extra well-done.

      • Jeffocaster in the West

        And have cole slaw instead of sauerkraut

        • goonemeritus

          With sweet pickles on the side.

        • beingreleased

          Fuck it. Let’s just have BBQ instead.

        • beingreleased

          Note: Pastrami is BBQ – it is just smoked corned beef. I made a pastrami once and it was unbelievably good (although I did use a pre-made corned beef leftover from St. Patrick’s day).

          • Jeffocaster in the West

            Check this wiki entry out….

            Rachel sandwich

            The Rachel sandwich is a variation on the standard Reuben sandwich, substituting pastrami for the corned beef, and coleslaw for the sauerkraut. Other recipes for the Rachel call for turkey instead of pastrami. In some parts of the United States, especially Michigan, this turkey variant is known as a “Georgia Reuben” or “California Reuben”, and it may also call for barbecue sauce or French dressing instead of Russian dressing.

            https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Reuben_sandwich

          • beingreleased

            Can you add the link?

          • puredog

            At Loeb’s Sandwich Shop in DC — across from the Treasury at like 15th and G NW — in the early 60s they offered a Nasser Sandwich: half chicken, half tongue, Russian dressing.

        • TJ Barke

          You mean liberty cabbage?

    • laughingnome

      No he tried cross dressing with his Russian friend Ruben

    • Bill D. Burger

      [ Russian dressing on his Ruben.] ___ ~snort~ Euphemism?

  • Bill D. Burger

    [Donald J. Trump‏Verified account
    @realDonaldTrump
    Follow
    More
    Obama’s complaints about Republicans stopping his agenda are BS since he had full control for two years. He can never take responsibility.
    8:11 AM – 26 Sep 2012]

    Stand back: Irony and hypocrisy meters are having a meltdown.

    http://www.gif-maniac.com/gifs/54/54265.gif

  • goonemeritus

    Too many Russian spies spoil the broth.

    • laughingnome

      In Russian broth spoils you

    • Bill D. Burger

      ..or borscht?

  • MynameisBlarney
    • CindyinEncinitas

      Didn’t think you were bald, but thanks for the suggestion.

      • MynameisBlarney

        Not completely bald. But close enough to warrant shavin’ my head so I don’t look like Gallagher.

        • CindyinEncinitas

          I’m sure you look stunning.

          • MynameisBlarney

            Suuure…not stunning in the good way though, lol.
            Thanks though :D

          • CindyinEncinitas

            Was “arresting” what I was looking for? Prolly not. That word is so loaded. Loaded. Get it? That’s my shoe…

    • Pax Americana Per Ars Smith

      Whattsa matter? Tired of the spray hair?

      https://youtu.be/2GeF7A05zQ8

  • whitroth

    You’re missing the main thrust of the meeting, I think. WHY get rid of the sanctions?

    Now, this is pure speculation on my part, but is there some small possibility that ALL THAT LAUNDERED MONEY IS STUCK WHERE IT IS, IN NYC REAL ESTATE, AND THEY CAN’T GET IT OUT UNTIL THE SANCTIONS ARE LIFTED?

    Billions of dollars? How could that *possibly* affect anyone’s judgement, esp. the “billionaire”-in-chief?

    • Vincent Ricola

      Hahaha. I sure hope so.

    • laughingnome

      So, I’m kinda slow about these things. The Russians bill the meeting as having dirt on Clinton just to get the sit-down to talk about removing sanction? They don’t have dirt on Clinton.

      • CindyinEncinitas

        I kept waiting for the other shoe to drop but it hasn’t. But there are rumblings on Twitter of other kompromat for the Clintons so I am in a wait-and-see mode.

      • Vincent Ricola

        They had the emails they hacked from the DNC. Wikileaks didn’t release them until after the Don Jr meeting. I think that if they had any other stuff on the Clintons, they’d have dropped it in October.

        • whitroth

          The spies told Jr, and I’ll be Donnie was there, at least by phone from the floor above, that they’d release it when most effective. Bannon and Manafort were probably on with that.

        • george lastrapes

          How did DonJr’s emails fall into NYT’s hands? Russian hacker/leakers? Could the meeting have been to docufy
          DonJr’s willingness to collude for later use as kompromat? Is the leakage intended as a warning to the Trump gang?

      • Bebecca

        I thought it was more of a quid pro quo, we give you dirt on Clinton and help you get elected and you remove the sanctions. Just because they say nothing came of it, doesn’t mean that isn’t true. And has anyone said how long this famous meeting lasted?

      • BeachBum

        They prolly had the emails and told them it was the dirt. They figured no one would read them anyway.

      • chicken thief

        They do but they are too a’skeered she will murder the fuck out of them if they spill the beans.

        • puredog

          Have you SEEN her body count? YOOGE. TREMENDOUS.

    • Internet Hitler

      More. Lifting sanctions frees up exploitation of northern oil by Rosneft, Russian oil company not TOTALLY owned by Putin & buddies. No, nearly 20% was sold to someone through a string of sham corporations going around the world. Right after the election.
      Why is everybody in the administration known for playing footsie with Russia? Could they all have a stake?
      Why did Sean Spicer tweet out a code ID for a bitcoin transaction right after the inauguration?
      Mueller is busy – along with NYAG – stacking up evidence in neat little piles.

  • Bill D. Burger
  • goonemeritus

    Back in the old days the Republican party had enough pride to do their own spying.

  • Bill D. Burger
  • Mormos

    Nixon told the North Vietnamese to delay peace talks until he was elected for a better deal, Bush Sr. went to Paris to tell the Iranians to hold onto the hostages until after the elections in exchange for missiles at the behest of Reagan, Reagan himself created a blackfund to illgegally support the contras, Bush jr. broke the Geneva convention and committed numerous warcrimes, now Trump colluded with Russians to steal the election.

    Has there been A SINGLE Republican president in the last 50 years who wasn’t a treasonous criminal? Does Ford count? I expect it to be revealed that Ford was harvesting baby organs or something.

    • Three Finger Salute

      Ford is an accessory because he pardoned Nixon.

      There hasn’t been a good Republican since Eisenhower.

      • Mormos

        There hasn’t been a Republican since Eisenhower. *Fixed

        • whitroth

          Sure, there have. Bill Clinton, and Obama turned out to be, and Hillary…

          • Three Finger Salute

            Which is about as far to the “left” as you’re going to get in the U.S. A user here named Michael Smith explained it as we fought the Cold War domestically to the extreme ideological front, where the New Deal and Euro/Canadian social policies had been retconned stateside to carry with it the stain of socialism, and that in turn as having the whiff of a “creeping communism” from afar. The goal was to not only “defeat” the Soviets by collapsing their government, but thoroughly discredit anything that looked like “public investment” forever in the U.S., by smearing it with guilt-by-association as “communism” or “Marx-ish”.

            The “American exceptionalist” way of handling the Cold War is why we’ll never have Euro/Canadian type healthcare or any other safety net policies beyond the bare minimum of Social Security, Medicare, and whatever’s left of a crippled Obamacare. We’ll always be at war with somebody, and we’ll never have a Sanders or Corbyn or a social-democratic party along those lines. The most you’ll get is that the lunatic fringe will implode, the centrist Democrats will get folded into the Republicans, and they’ll become the natural governing party while the “Democrats” (parallel to Corbynite Labour and Canada’s NDP) are relegated to state and local governments here and there, but little if anything on the federal level.

            It’s just the nature of the beast. Purity ponies are what got us Trump. Don’t hate the player; hate the game.

    • laughingnome

      Well, when you put it that way…

    • Nockular cavity

      It’s almost as if there’s a pattern to their behavior…

    • whitroth

      NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!, there has not been.

  • Bill D. Burger
  • Aileen

    Mueller’s on this, right? Fuck, I hope Mueller’s on this.

    • Joe Beese

      He’s on this like white on rice.

      • Aileen

        Like ketchup on overcooked steak? Like vodka on borscht? (I clearly don’t know my Russian foods well, I assume vodka goes atop everything)

        • Werewolf

          Sour cream goes on borscht.

          • AuntyMaude

            Sour cream goes on everything.

        • Three Finger Salute

          Like hot fudge on a sundae and hair-of-the-dog on a Monday.

        • whitroth

          Sorry – borscht is a soup that’s drunk cold. Now, you might wash it down with wodka….

          • Courser_Resistance

            I made Borscht and Beef Stroganoff for a Russian Class thing. I think we were viewing Anna Karinina or something. Anyway, they’re both *really* good. I can’t do gazpacho cuz cucumbers, but I’ll have borscht anytime.

          • puredog

            There were probably many Russians at your meeting but I am sure you do not recall at this point in time.

          • Courser_Resistance

            Eh, it was mostly us high school students potlucking Russian dishes at my teacher’s house for the movie. While some of them were Army/Air Force brats, that was about as close to Russians as we got. All the Russians were on TV. And even then they were mostly British actors if I remember correctly. The Cold War was still going on, I think. It was 1975 or so.

      • BigCSouthside

        Like white on rice on a paper plate in a snowstorm

      • The Green Bastard

        Like shit on velcro.

      • OneWhiteWhisker

        Like stupid on a Trump.

      • chicken thief

        Like Rice on Palin.

    • Bebecca

      I heard that it was Mueller that made calls to find out who the eighth person in the room was. He’s on it.

  • Bill D. Burger
  • Blackest Noobs

    hey guys….do we have a Russia problem?
    everyone: dude not us…it’s that other guy
    me: what other guy?
    everyone: (sigh) It’s Trump but it’s mostly our fault.
    me: how?
    everyone: cuz we be dumbasses and fell for Trump’s bullshit….now we gonna pay for it.

  • Bill D. Burger
  • mailman27

    This is fine! *burning house* (My internet skillz are weak. Sue me.)

  • Bill D. Burger
  • Bill D. Burger
  • Bill D. Burger

    Evolution of Trumpcare:

    “So easy”
    “Lower cost,better coverage”
    “Nobody knew…”
    “Going to be beautiful”
    “Democrat’s fault…”
    “Don Jr’s a good boy.”

  • Beanz&Berryz

    So, in typical savvy Trump legalistic maneuverings, they opt for something in the direction of a treasonous conspiracy to hide a plain old money laundering conspiracy.

  • BeachBum

    So does any one know where this money came from ? Why did it need to be laundered in the first place ?

    • BigCSouthside

      Russia is a fucking black hole for cash in the oligarch class

      • Beanz&Berryz

        Stolen billions need to be laundered.

        • BigCSouthside

          Ol pooty poot is super fucking rich but plays like he isn’t. Makes you Wonder how a career govt employee has billions

          • Msgr_MΩment

            So he’s the exact opposite of Trump?

          • miss_grundy

            Because he kills his enemies and takes their money, which is SOP for dictators.

          • Komsumverweigerer Ron

            It’s not safe to wonder, so nobody does. Not out loud.

        • Three Finger Salute

          “When you steal 600 dollars, you can just disappear. When you steal 600 million, they will find you — unless they think you’re already dead.” -Hans Gruber

          Or you’re so above the law that you can either pardon yourself or buy your innocence.

  • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

    People, I think we are losing sight of the real monster in the meeting: Hillary Clinton.

    • Three Finger Salute

      Something something she’s a witch who was going to turn the disabled Russian babies into pizza and eat them while in bed with Huma. “Keep digging!!111!”

      • gene108

        Hillary would never eat babies. They are too valuable to her as profit centers, as she sells them into a life of slavery, from the basement of pizza parlors that don’t have basements.

        Or she uses them to help NASA fully staff its Martian child slave colony.

        • Three Finger Salute

          The same people who think the moon landing never happened somehow think there’s a Ping Pong Pizza on Mars.

          Sometimes even thinking about the cognitive dissonance of these morons actually gives me a headache.

    • OneWhiteWhisker

      I heard she once put Russian dressing on her wedge salad BURN HER! LOCK HER UP! BURN HER THEN LOCK HER UP!

      • Odd Jørgensen

        LOCK HER UP IN A BURNING PLACE!!!

    • NellCote71

      I heard Vince Foster was over in the corner.

  • anon_the_great

    None dare call it Conspiracy

    John Burch is levitating over his grave

  • Msgr_MΩment

    Junior, 2) Paul Manafort, 3) Jared Kushner, 4) Natalia Veselnitskaya, the Russian lady lawyer, 5) her translator, Anatoli Samochornov, 6) Rob Goldstone, the British music publicist for Russian pop star/business dude Emin Agalarov who facilitated the meeting, 7) that fucking Russian spy, and 8) this FNR (“Fucking New Russian”) Ike, who was just there repping for the Agalarovs. Got it? EIGHT PEOPLE.

    9) Me. I just sat in the back and didn’t say much. I really want to be a mason. Masonry opens doors. I’ve got a second-hand apron.

    • puredog

      You may want to be a mason, but are you free?

  • OrG

    Yet the trumpanzees are STILL on board.

    • Blackest Noobs

      wouldn’t you be too….this be their death throes.

    • miss_grundy

      Because they are stupid and easily duped.

    • Komsumverweigerer Ron

      And when the dust finally clears, they’ll be looking around and saying, Who, us? We voted for Hillary!’

    • geoffalnutt

      Jim Jonesers.

  • Jgb979

    If Trump was even 7% competent at what he does. He’d have negotiated lifting the sanctions for every fuck the poor meausure the boy robot has been fantasizing about since he was just an asshole in college.

    Thankfully he’s not.

  • Lyly Sirivong

    Come on, Bob ! Did Wonkette get it right ? What’s the prize ?

  • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

    And this leads to the problem of trying to follow the money: there’s so much dirty money involved, it’s time consuming tracking it all.

  • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

    So who will be the first to subpoena his taxes?

  • miss_grundy

    Kompromat with Fuckface……

  • James

    Seen floating around on several comment boards, that the meeting might not have been about alleged dirt on Hillary Clinton. If there was such dirt, the Trump campaign would have used it.

    The theory being floated is it was actually dirt on Trump, as in money-laundering in the real estate market or such. The gist being “Do as we say or this gets sent to the press.”

    That might also explain the treat from Russia over its seized compounds the other day on Twitter. They have Trump (and maybe other Republicans) in a nutcracker, and they are ready to crack some nuts.

    • Ω cynmac will never surrender

      Little tiny hazelnuts. When I was a kid, the easiest to crack in the nut bowl on the holidays. Not Walnuts.

  • yyyaz

    Too bad that when the deafening dustcloud of stupid finally dissipates, there won’t be any Dostoyevskys or Stegners left to weave it all together.

  • Christopher Story

    The last words on the the lips of the Trumpers as they breathe their last ragged breath, choking on the toxic air from the nuclear fallout of WWIII will be:
    “Hillary would’ve been worse.”

    • miss_grundy

      Nah, it will be “but her emails“.

      • NellCote71

        Benghaaazzziii!

    • James

      That will also come from all those who didn’t vote or voted for third party candidates.

  • Roni Raven, Undercovfefe Agent

    So now there are reports out that Dump has a second, private meeting with Putin at the G20.

    http://thehill.com/homenews/administration/342589-ian-bremmer-trump-and-putin-held-second-informal-meeting-during-g-20

    • miss_grundy

      He had to receive his next batch of orders. And he has to give back the two spy houses and let the 26 Russian embassy spies back into the country. And since he is so horrible at negotiation, he will get nothing back for doing his friend a solid.

      • Christopher Story

        Or as he’ll sell it to the public afterward: “Masterful Negotiating. The best negotiation. Nobody else could’ve negotiated this deal. And it’s the best deal that could’ve been negotiated. It’s a yuuuge deal, an incredible deal. It’s the best deal, folks. This is the best deal right here.”

        • laineypc

          Because Trump gets to keep getting loans from Russian banks and all the nice moneez from the laundromat operation, AND the Pee Tape will not be forthcoming. Don’t you people understand how awesome that deal is, how Trump comes out way ahead?

          • Christopher Story

            When Trump wins, America wins, dontcha know?

    • mancityRed6

      “In that conversation, Trump spoke with the Russian leader for roughly an hour, joined only by Putin’s translator. The meeting had previously gone without mention by the White House.”
      huh

  • Cornelius Fussbudget

    Not just the sanctions. After all, the sanctions are still in place, so the Rs think they have contained the damage. But, what about Preet Bharara getting fired and the Prevezon case being dismissed…?

    http://thehill.com/homenews/administration/341695-democrats-want-to-know-why-doj-dismissed-money-laundering-case

    • Mike Gruey

      that was one of the tats

      • NellCote71

        Well, thank God, Trump has such yuge tits to give.

  • bluicebank

    Jared Security Application, Amendment 5, Section 102, Paragraph 8:

    “Oh yeah, and that other guy. Whoops.”

  • bookish

    A chart that shows how the eight participants in the Trump Jr. meeting are connected.

    https://www.washingtonpost.com/politics/eighth-person-in-trump-tower-meeting-is-identified/2017/07/18/e971234a-6bce-11e7-9c15-177740635e83_story.html?utm_source=nl-politics-daily-071817&utm_term=.70a86fb31f4a

    An American-based employee of a Russian real estate company took part in a June 2016 Trump Tower meeting between a Russian lawyer and Donald Trump Jr., bringing to eight the number of known participants at the session that has emerged as a key focus of the investigation of the Trump campaign’s interactions with Russians.

    Ike Kaveladze’s presence was confirmed by Scott Balber, an attorney for Emin and Aras Agalarov, the Russian developers who hosted the Trump-owned Miss Universe pageant in 2013. Balber said Kaveladze works for the Agalarovs’ company and attended as their representative.

    Balber said Tuesday that he received a phone call from a representative of Special Counsel Robert Mueller over the weekend asking if Kaveladze would agree to be interviewed. Balber said his client would cooperate. The request is the first public indication that Mueller’s team is investigating the meeting.

    • Cornelius Fussbudget

      That chart kinda sucks because it leaves out all the direct connections between Donald Sr and the Russians. Just one example, Agalarov hosted Miss Universe 2013 while Trump owned it.

  • John

    hey, they’re just colluding with a foreign power to betray the US and commit treason. It’s not like they had some emails are a personal server, now that would be really bad!

    • James

      Well, I’m somewhat reticent about throwing the word “treason” around, since one can make a (semi-)credible argument that we are not at war with Russia.

      I’m all for using the word ESPIONAGE in capital letters though. A foreign power hacking a private individual or a political party computer system for information is the definition of espionage.

      • Paperless Tiger

        I’m still thinking cyberwarfare is war (cause it says war in it). If they worked with Russia on a cyber attack against Americans, it seems like straight-up treason. If it was ISIS, nobody would doubt it.

        • James

          Espionage is easier to prove, and carries the same penalties as treason. Treason has a very specific definition in the Constitution.

    • Sashineb

      Yeah, I’ll bet none of them did awful things, like sharing recipes or making wedding lists on their computers.

      • Ducksworthy

        Gawd forbid any of them brought up the dreaded Risotto Recipe.

      • NellCote71

        Don’t forget the yoga-class appointments. Downward dog, indeed.

    • SineDie

      Like Daddy said, “It’s politics!”

  • puredog

    In Mother Russia, Wonkette pays us! Just like Soros doesn’t!

    • NotConvinced

      Yakoff Smirnoff is that you?

    • NotConvinced

      Yakoff Smirnoff is that you?

    • NotConvinced

      Yakoff Smirnoff is that you?

    • NotConvinced

      Yakoff Smirnoff is that you?

  • Incoming Ham

    How long before this clownLada is full?

  • mardam422

    So, using the idea that pizza is code for child sex…. Bouncy Russian babies means Manhattan real estate. Father of pop star is Trump. Interpreter is the bag man.

  • Johnny Appleseed

    Come on Mueller! Do em dirty and in public.

  • Pisto75666

    Using disabled children? Even Boris & Natasha are impressed.

  • bookish

    https://www.vox.com/2017/7/18/15983910/donald-trump-russia-putin-natalia-veselnitskaya-collusion

    Gunitsky, who was raised in Russia, has followed the evolving relationship between Donald Trump and Russia for more than a decade. He says the prevailing narrative about Putin interfering in the American election in order to undermine democracy is wildly overstated.

    Putin is happy to sow confusion and distrust in America’s system, of course, but to assume that’s the basis of this operation is to overlook a much simpler motive: money.

    The financial connections between Trump and various Russian banks and oligarchs (business elites with ties to the Kremlin) stretch back decades, which is likely a big reason why Trump won’t release his tax returns. Trump’s election, Gunitsky contends, presented Russian oligarchs with an opportunity to recoup losses and leverage Trump’s debts for political gain.

    I asked Gunitsky to lay it out for me as clearly as possible, and to explain the financial dealings between Trump and his Russian business partners.

    • Komsumverweigerer Ron

      This makes a deal of sense. Vlad hardly seems like the sort of country-first world-domination leader that, say, Khrushchev was. It does seem more likely that it’s just about the rubles, and of course, a conflicted West just makes it easier for him to get what he wants.

  • SineDie

    Here is a fact about Russians and moratoria on adoptions. They don’t need an excuse. They did it in 2005 because a prosecutor in Vladivostok said Americans were adopting Russian children for body parts. Eventually, like magic, the moratorium disappeared because the real purpose all along was just to up the amount of the outrageous bribes that have to be paid i( to just about everyone in the process n order to save a Russian kid from a country that doesn’t give a hoot about orphans. So, in case you already figured out that the adoption stuff is a bunch of hooey, let me confirm that.

    What do orphans have to do with international sanctions on. Russia, anyway?

    • James

      Orphans have to do with the Magnitsky Act.

      That act was passed in the wake of the death of Sergey Magnitsky in a Russian prison. He was investigating fraud by Russian officials. In response to that act, Russia banned adoptions of children by Americans.

      Orphans in this sense are code for lifting sanctions imposed under that Act.

  • bookish

    http://www.politico.com/magazine/story/2017/07/18/how-the-gop-became-the-party-of-putin-215387

    I should not have been surprised. I’ve been following Russia’s cultivation of the American right for years, long before it became a popular subject, and I have been amazed at just how deep and effective the campaign to shift conservative views on Russia has been. Four years ago, I began writing a series of articles about the growing sympathy for Russia among some American conservatives. Back then, the Putin fan club was limited to seemingly fringe figures like Pat Buchanan (“Is Vladimir Putin a paleoconservative?” he asked, answering in the affirmative), a bunch of cranks organized around the Ron Paul Institute and some anti-gay marriage bitter-enders so resentful at their domestic political loss they would ally themselves with an authoritarian regime that not so long ago they would have condemned for exporting “godless communism.”

    Today, these figures are no longer on the fringe of GOP politics. According to a Morning Consult-Politico poll from May, an astonishing 49 percent of Republicans consider Russia an ally. Favorable views of Putin – a career KGB officer who hates America – have nearly tripled among Republicans in the past two years, with 32 percent expressing a positive opinion.

    • Komsumverweigerer Ron

      Dear Trumpanzees:
      The enemy of your enemy might be YOUR enemy too.

      • SeeTrain65

        “The enemy of my enemy is rummaging through my silver.”

  • Add to this that Trump had another hour long dinner meeting with Putin during the G20 summit. No other government officials were present, and all the other leaders at the G20 summit thought it was really strange and beyond the normal bounds of leaders meeting. Trump didn’t tell anyone, but made no effort to hide that he was hanging with Vlad either.

    • Komsumverweigerer Ron

      Donnie’s lucky he didn’t end up with his head nailed to the floor.

      • Mehmeisterjr

        ‘E’s a cruel man. But fair.

      • And we are unlucky that Putin didn’t nail his head to the floor.

      • wavicles

        Patience.

      • MyLovelyNose

        He maybe got his hair nailed to the floor. That kind of thing doesn’t leave marks.

      • Wee Mousie

        Donnie probably had his head shoved up his arse so he wouldn’t learn any details of the plot to twat out at 3:00 A.M.

  • Petunia Cat

    In a conference room last June at Trump Tower

    Natalia V: … so in exchange for helping Trump win presidency you get rid of Magnitsky act. Also please to have president personal lawyer pronounce ‘Magnitsky’ like it is Nijinsky with an M.

    Manafort: OK, but when we get rid of the Magnitsky and/or Mijinsky act why do we say we did that? We can’t just say cuz Putin’s a great guy.

    Natalia V: Bouncy Russian babies. You say Magnitsky act dropped because most gracious Russian government now allow American adoption of bouncy Russian babies again.

    And the rest was history.

  • bookish

    https://www.theatlantic.com/politics/archive/2017/07/trump-putin-second-meeting/534099/?google_editors_picks=true

    When President Trump’s meeting with Russian President Vladimir Putin went for more than two hours, well past the scheduled half-hour, it was a major news event. But it turns out that wasn’t even the end of the conversation between the two men.

    Author Ian Bremmer first reported the second meeting Tuesday. Other outlets also reported the news, and the White House confirmed it to Reuters. (BuzzFeed journalist Alberto Nardelli had previously reported about a meeting.) Trump reportedly met with the Russian leader for an additional hour of informal chats after a dinner of G20 leaders—though the White House in a statement reported late Tuesday by NBC’s Hallie Jackson called the encounter “brief” and denied it constituted a second meeting. While the first meeting was small—the only attendees were Trump, Putin, the Russian foreign minister, Secretary of State Rex Tillerson, and one interpreter from each country—this was even smaller: just Trump, Putin, and a Russian interpreter. Trump did not have his own interpreter.

    • Ducksworthy

      No money launderers or spies? I mean other than the two of them.

    • Komsumverweigerer Ron

      ‘It’s not a meeting. No more than a meetingette at most.’

      • MyLovelyNose

        I think the correct word is meetingie.

      • Wee Mousie

        More plotting than meeting, I think the word you’re looking for is caballing.

  • Komsumverweigerer Ron

    ‘If you don’t lift these sanctions we’ll kill this baby.’

    • Ωbjectifier

      No longer a fetus? Don’t care.

    • keinsignal

      Has Sting commented on this yet?

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wHylQRVN2Qs

      • BreakingDeadMen

        He is too busy singing “Walking on Mars” to Dana Rohrbacher

  • bookish

    http://abcnews.go.com/Politics/feinstein-mueller-cleared-trump-jr-manafort-public-interviews/story?id=48707321&google_editors_picks=true

    Donald Trump Jr. and Paul Manafort have been cleared by special counsel Robert Mueller to testify in an open session before the Senate Judiciary Committee about their June 2016 meeting in Trump Tower with a Russian attorney, according to the committee’s ranking member Sen. Dianne Feinstein, D-Calif.

    Feinstein, who met with Mueller last month, shared the information with reporters Tuesday, later adding that the special counsel’s investigation would “not be a problem” that would prevent their testimony. The news of the pair’s clearance to be interviewed was first reported by CNN.

    The Judiciary Committee was scheduled to hold a hearing on the Foreign Agent Registration Act Wednesday, one at which Committee Chairman Chuck Grassley, R-Iowa, said he wanted Manafort to appear. Both he and Feinstein also suggested Trump Jr. should appear before the committee this week.

    • Glitterboots

      While I know I will not be able to resist watching, I also know they will lie, even under oath. They will lie because they are stupid and think they can get away with it. Then the lies will be exposed and reported by the so-called “fake media “. THAT will be worth watching.

      Oh, and if anyone thinks Chuck Grassley REALLY wants to get to the bottom of this, I have a scholarship to Trump U for you.

      • Wee Mousie

        Even if I wished to bet, no bet. You have to offer a truly handsome, enchanting, bewitching prize if you are trying to sucker people into betting against a forgone conclusion.

    • Rickyphoo

      I’ll bet that first sentence will be reported by Faux Nudes as:

      “Donald Trump Jr. and Paul Manafort have been cleared by special counsel Robert Mueller”

  • bookish

    http://www.latimes.com/politics/la-na-pol-trump-eighth-man-20170718-story.html

    Irakly “Ike” Kaveladze, 52, is the eighth person known to have taken part in the unusual Trump Tower meeting on June 9, 2016, The Times has learned. His identity was not previously disclosed.

    Kaveladze, who lives in Huntington Beach, is an employee of a large Russian real estate development firm. He was the focus of a scathing congressional inquiry in 2000 into alleged Russian money laundering through banks in California and New York but was not charged.

    Investigators for special counsel Robert S. Mueller III, who is leading the federal probe into possible coordination between the Trump presidential campaign and the Russian government, have asked to interview Kaveladze, according to Scott Balber, Kaveladze’s lawyer.

    Balber said his client was “cooperating fully” with investigators. Mueller’s office declined to comment. No one answered the door or the phone at Kaveladze’s three-story home in a gated community in Huntington Beach. A dresser and other small pieces of furniture sat on the front lawn.

    • Mehmeisterjr

      Mueller’s office declined to comment?

      What kind of a way is that to operate?

      Unhinged 3 a.m. twits, now that’s the way to run a railroad.

      • MyLovelyNose

        Isn’t that funny, I remember it as, “Is this any way to run an airline?”

        Twenty points for the rejoinder.

      • Wee Mousie

        The office refused to comment and fired the dresser and other small pieces of furniture because they wanted to turn state’s evidence.

        • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

          Meanwhile, the ottoman was secretly issuing disinformation in favor of Erdogan.

  • Les Appentis De la résistance

    Hillary never would have been this sloppy. She’s a competent professional.

  • tehbaddr

    But her emails!11!!!111!

    on a side note, do you think Donald junior is getting some Russian spy cock?

    • Wee Mousie

      Whether Junior wants it or not, just like in real grownup prison, although I am in two minds as to which primary sex organ is his favorite.

    • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

      I believe Donald senior got some Russian mafia cock and that’s what they have on tape.

  • Mehmeisterjr

    In former-Soviet Union, Russia conspire to destroy America.

    In America, Republicans conspire with former Soviet Union spymaster to destroy America.

    What a former-country!

  • WeaselPoo

    I think the real scandal here, is that no one mentioned the importance of Russian lawyers, diplomats, spies, hackers, oligarchs and translators in order to succeed in real estate, the Trump Way! Given the money I spent with Trump U, I’m inclined to leave a 2 star Yelp review.

  • TundraGrifter

    I continue to believe Donald Jr. was just trying to impress his Father. Show him that he’s the smart one. Be a hero. As previously discussed here, that attitude can sink a business quicker than embezzlement or other fraud.

    I also continue to believe that it’s Mr. Kushner who President Trump is covering up for. Although, the evidence mounts that Mr. Trump himself was face down in the Russian money trough.

    • SineDie

      Looking for approval, just like his dad and Fred Trump.

  • Alt-dog

    We’re on to you Trump…

    https://youtu.be/Tb1GGlmU9xw

  • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

    Twilight Zone, Season 3, Episode 30, “Hocus Pocus And Frisby”

    Rod Serling divines trump 50 years early.

  • Keith Taylor

    Damn. I really did believe the entire Trump family was telling the plain, unvarnished truth about Russia and the hacking and the weird meetings. Even when they contradicted themselves and each other all over the map, I still believed them, because hey, they are all honourable men. Except the women. Now I have actually started to think they may have been doing an avalanche of stuff that was unethical or even dislegal, with just about everybody in Russia except the honest and/or powerless Russians.
    I’m quick that way.

    • Wee Mousie

      To catch up, the woman is the only honorable man in the bunch, and she is a dick.

    • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

      I mean, all this time, I thought Donald was really smart, doing really smart things, and now I’m beginning to think that may not be the case.

  • goingohm

    OK, everybody, just admit it. You thought being sodomized by the Russian bear was going to hurt a lot more.

  • UnsaltedSinner

    That meeting looks like one of those Russian dolls. Always another Russian in there.

    • Wee Mousie

      It’s not the Bear dick, after all,, we here at Wonkette have grown accustomed to bare dicks, it’s the grizzly tearing off our head and shitting down our neck that is bothering us..

  • Asparago

    Excellent writing! I finally understand (?) what the shit is going on.

  • Hazel Blumberg

    Everyone else was at the meeting. I wasn’t invited. Damn. I’m so pissed. Are you sure this meeting was held in Tr$mp Tower and not in some football stadium? Putin so OWNS tr$mpdaddy that it isn’t even funny. And evidently the GOP doesn’t mind in the least having a traitor as their top dude. Go ahead, Republicans with a power complex: tie your star to that sinking piece of lunar garbage, tr$mp. We’ll be happy to watch you crash to earth and end up far more than six feet under.

  • Wee Mousie

    The only tit for tat the electorate will get, at least the mentally stable electorate, is if they wish, they can get a tat of the tit in the white house to remember who’s been plotting to make America third-rate again

  • William
  • CircusMcGurkus

    Wise Men Say Only Fools Russian.

    • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

      Where Angela fears to tread

  • Zyxomma

    Egermency. Egermency! Everybody to clear from street.

  • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

    I wonder, is this part of moneylaundering that Magnitsky exposed before being bludgeoned to death?

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