SHARE
This one came with a box of cereal
This is Cliven. He sounds like he looks.

There aren’t enough bad things I could say about the Bundy family to do them justice. (Full disclosure: I’m from four counties northeast of them, and Ryan lived not far from me for a while.) Ammon is a narcissistic would-be prophet, his brother Ryan is a credulous lunatic, and their father Cliven is an attention-seeking prat with the reasoning capacity of one of his stupider cows.

Bunkerville, where the Bundy family ranch is, is a tiny place outside Mesquite, Nevada. It is famous for being the place the Bundys come from. Cliven declined to pay his grazing fees and eventually the feds came to seize his cattle, which he of course turned into an armed standoff he didn’t even attend because Cliven Bundy is not the sort of man who actually risks his life for his beliefs. He just gets a few dozen other people who like dressing up as Rambo to do it and then talks to the TV cameras that inevitably show up to any overdramatic bullshit the Bundys do.

Sheriff Ricky Gervais will leave the standoff briefly to host the Golden Globes
Seriously he held a press conference every day.

Nobody died at Bunkerville. Once a few militias showed up with a bunch of ranchers and they were all playing spaghetti Western and taking up sniper positions and shit in support of Cliven’s dumb ass, the guy in charge of the government side of the dispute decided a tax issue wasn’t worth a probably deadly shootout. This was, of course, derided roundly from all sides as weakness and fed into the Bundys’ collective delusions that they were the supreme authority of their temporal lives.

Ammon explained it all to me once, but I was far too sober to follow it. The upshot was that these people believe the Constitution precludes the federal government from owning land more than a few miles from DC. Also they think judges and lawyers can swear themselves in, and if you ever go to a wildlife refuge they have taken over and question their beliefs they will show you the website of a “lawyer” that supports them and it will be entirely in Comic Sans, which they will in no way question as possibly not the most professional of font choices.

Exactly the same thing! Except for the nobody-gunned-down-by-redcoats part.
Yeah, they all think these are the same thing.
Anyway, once they’d declared victory at Bunkerville they dreamt of taking their country back or something, so they started traveling the country and exploiting legitimate grievances trying to rally their base. The clan of religiously misguided morons are back in the news because after the feds failed to convict Ammon and Ryan for the Malheur standoff, they’re trying their luck on the Nevada case. Which, naturally, is why Roger Stone was in Las Vegas.

Roger Stone, you see, has just discovered a Cause, and it is Cliven Bundy’s God-given right to not pay grazing fees. So of course he came out to a rally to demand that Donald Trump pardon all of the Bundy clan and also note that he will be posting a petition on InfoWars in support of that outcome. He also talked about how the Constitution is unrecognizable and

This is the oppressive and of a military jackbooted government that has lost all sense of law and morality

which plays pretty well to a crowd containing more than a few people who have staged an armed standoff or two against federal law enforcement.

No, this guy’s totally natural buddies with the cow guy. That’ll go well.
The thing that keeps getting missed in coverage of the Bundys and their wacky exploits is though they have deadly consequences, they are also farcical. Most often, when children are singing in four-part harmony while making dinner for the men of the armed rebellion, it’s a Broadway conceit, but that actually happened. When David Fry surrendered — the last holdout at Malheur — he demanded that agents all scream “Hallelujah!” while he came out of the tent. At least Yr Wonkette caught the farce.

It was a mere question of time before two forces of this much dramatic flourishing — Stone and the Bundys — came together. We can only hope that between them, they are strong enough to threaten Trump’s sense of dramatic supremacy. I can’t think of a thing I would rather have Trump spending his time on than plotting ways to take Roger Stone and Cliven Bundy down a notch.

Someone tell “Fox and Friends” to tell Trump that the crowd chanted “Roger!”

[LVRJ]

$
Donate with CCDonate with CC
  • Bub, Zombie in mourning
  • Wild Cat

    This great American episode will be recalled in Bill O’Reilly and Martin Duggar’s “Freedom!: When Gefilte Fish and a Mormon Flounder Joined Forces to Save America!” (Henry Holt: 2056).

  • Zonath

    Why is Roger Stone cosplaying as a Dick Tracy villain? That movie came out in 1990 and doesn’t have a whole lot of geek cachet – he’s not going to win the Comic-Con costume contest with that.

    • Jackie Jones

      Roger’s my favorite queen. His sartorial flair is half of his schtick .

      • Persistent Demme

        Sorry, but it has to be said:
        QUEEN LIBELZ!!!

        • Jackie Jones

          HAHAHA! Okay, I take it back. Stone just cracks me up. He’d make a great villain in Batman (Adam West show). He wears spats, too, right?

          • Persistent Demme

            IK,R?
            My first thought was: the Penguin!!
            I wonder if he’s really Bundy’s type?!1!

          • Jackie Jones

            PENGUIN!!! Yes!!!!

          • JCfromNC

            His penchant for purple calls the Joker more to mind for me. But the Joker was never much one for hats. Besides, Joker is a genius, albeit a demented one. Stone definitely ain’t that.

    • Wild Cat

      But what-her-name, that woman from Chicago, Glen Something, her career, it took off like wildfire.

      No?

    • Les Appentis De la résistance

      I was thinking more of a Batman villain.

  • schmannity

    Roger Stone talking about the government losing all sense of law and morality.

    Good one.

  • Reximus

    Toronto got a little classier today

    https://twitter.com/blogTO/status/887336584047206400

    • Wild Cat

      I’m still trying to figure out why that city tried to commit suicide by electing Rob Ford. Was it because the black population went over .009%?

      • Reximus

        People in the surrounding / non- city core areas were convinced he was a corruption and waste slaying god…when he wasn’t doing crack, that is

        • Wild Cat

          Utterly insane. One could take one look at him and see he was abnormal. Is the IQ that low in the outer regions or do they think, as in the US, politics is a joke?

          • The GTA has a large “family values” immigrant population, and he was running against an out gay man… Not the only reason he won, but it’s a contributing factor.

          • Wild Cat

            Pathetic dolts.

            They probably also think John Tavares is coming back.

          • AJ Milne

            That, and, seriously, general parallels with Trumpism in so-called ‘Ford Nation’ are pretty definite.

            Nowhere’s immune. Populists running on that ‘outsider coming to drain the swamp’ thing find it an easy escalator. It’s _amazing_ how fucked up/incompetent/venal/downright criminal they themselves can be and _still_ somehow ride a mix of that and various other handy resentments into power.

            (ETA: Oh, and also, re that ‘politics is a joke thing just above. Yeah, that. Still hear that all the time from the oh-so-cynical and world-weary who somehow still find it an excuse to elect someone who’s telling them he hates the same people they do. Buy it as far as I can throw their spectacularly intellectually lazy asses. _Yes_, every government everywhere, like every other human institution, isn’t going to be perfect. But arguing from ‘it doesn’t work so good as I’d like’ to ‘let’s just burn it all down by electing people clearly only competent to break stuff’ is roughly equivalent to hiring the Hell’s Angels randomly to vandalize your house because the plumbing frustrates you.)

          • I’m firmly of the belief that anyone who wants to run government like a business is fundamentally unqualified to govern, as they misunderstand the role of both governments and businesses.

          • Reximus

            It’s the old 416 – 905 area code slight still at work

            When Bell decided we needed a new code, downtown kept the 416, suburbs had to change to 905, really pissed some people out there off…ever since then city politics square off along those area code divisions…crazy

          • Antonin Dvorak

            So, essentially that episode of the Simpsons?

          • Reximus

            pretty much…and Ford exploited that resentment beautifully

          • Well, the 905 doesn’t vote in Toronto mayoral elections, that’s strictly 416/647… But yes, that’s also a thing (and I live in the 905 now, after growing up in the 416)

          • Edith Prickly

            It was a weird election. Rob Ford’s opposition was weak and the grouchy old farts out in the suburbs were ready to unleash a spitewave against the downtown elitists who foisted David Miller on them for two terms. Luckily for us, Rob had to drop out of the last campaign due to poor health and his brother Doug replaced him as the candidate. Nobody can stand Doug so we were spared.

          • It takes some doing to be less liked than your crack-smoking, oral sex discussing with reporters brother

          • Edith Prickly

            Rob had a Homer Simpson-esque doofus quality that appealed to some people. Doug is just a straight-up bully.

          • My last mayor was convicted on a few counts of misuse of public funds and fraud

      • Michael Smith

        I thought it was because he said bike lanes are stupid and people were like “This guy knows where its at.”

    • Bub, Zombie in mourning

      With apologies to the late HST:

      Huge Pontiac Ballbuster blowing through traffic on the expressway.

      The journalist is driving, ignoring his passenger who is now nearly naked after taking off most of his clothing, which he holds out the window, trying to wind-wash the Mace out of it. His eyes are bright red and his face and chest are soaked with beer he’s been using to rinse the awful chemical off his flesh. The front of his woolen trousers is soaked with vomit; his body is racked with fits of coughing and wild chocking sobs. The journalist rams the big car through traffic and into a spot in front of the terminal, then he reaches over to open the door on the passenger’s side and shoves the American out, snarling: “Bug off, you worthless asshole! You twisted pigfucker! [Crazed laughter.] If I weren’t sick I’d kick your ass all the way to Sault Ste Marie–you scumsucking foreign geek. Mace is too good for you…We can do without your kind in Toronto.”

      • schmannity

        Truman had some wild times in Vegas.

        • Wild Cat

          “The LSD Stops Here!” was my favorite.

        • geoffalnutt

          Capote?

          • Wild Cat

            Can you imagine a play with Hunter Thomson, Harry Truman, and Truman Capote as lead roles? One bombs, one gets bombed, and one gets shot out of a cannon like a bomb!

          • schmannity

            Little known Truman fact: He’d start his day with a shot of bourbon. I think Hunter could respect that.

          • OddMan

            We lived in the North End of Boston for a couple of years, I learned the Italian treat of a morning Caffè corretto. Double Espresso corrected with a shot of brandy.
            It is a grand way to start a day.

          • schmannity

            Goes great with a cannoli from Bova’s Bakery.

          • Three Finger Salute

            A different kind of “Truman Show” but I’d watch it.

            But only if it has John Cusack, Johnny Depp and a cameo by the blow up doll.

            https://volume1brooklyn.files.wordpress.com/2011/04/tumblr_lhnesofxfg1qcbo9lo1_500.jpg

    • arglebargle

      Hee hee… It says Tru P

    • Bub, Zombie in mourning

      All right TO, I’ll give you some props for this…but I still hate the goddamn Leafs!

      • Wild Cat

        Tiger Williams Sucks!

  • TJ Barke

    Capitalist pig-dogs!

  • schmannity

    Janet Reno knew how to handle these situations.

  • Baconzgood

    When these 2 heads come together the collective IQ drops.

  • arglebargle
  • Pinkham’s Law

    So, does Cliven go next to Tricky Dick, or does he get prime placement as a chest tat? And, if he goes next to Richard Milhouse, who rounds out the Stooges on the other side?

  • Crank Tango

    LOL Roger Stone is like the fanciest 60s Batman villain ever, right?

  • Vincent Ricola

    🎶 You’re living in your own private Bunkerville 🎶

    • Crank Tango

      Get out of the staaaaate!!!

  • bookish

    https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/checkpoint/wp/2017/07/17/foreign-born-recruits-promised-citizenship-by-the-pentagon-flee-the-country-to-avoid-deportation/?utm_term=.205b61cbd5bd

    On June 26, The Post first reported on the Defense Department’s internal recommendations to shutter the Military Accessions Vital to National Interest program, which has naturalized 10,400 troops since 2009, and to cancel the contracts of 1,800 of recruits like Rafeeq who are waiting to train.

    About 1,000 of those recruits have waited so long that they have fallen out of legal immigration status. An internal Defense Department memo obtained by The Post acknowledges that canceling these contracts would expose the recruits to deportation. In response, lawmakers urged Defense Secretary Jim Mattis to honor the contracts of those recruits.

  • La forza del resistino

    After his first sight of a desert rattlesnake, Roger will declare ‘family reunion’

  • Oh no! It’s noted Dick Tracy villain “No Soul!”

  • bookish

    From Center on National Security at Fordham Law. Foreign Policy article behind pay wall.

    Tillerson to close State’s war crimes office: Secretary of State Rex Tillerson is
    downgrading the U.S. campaign against mass atrocities, shuttering the State Department office that worked for two decades to hold war criminals accountable. Foreign Policy

    • La forza del resistino

      Gotta recoup all that cash we spent at Nuremberg somehow.

    • eyelashviper

      And the cyber security office…what could go wrong????

    • tomamitai

      Maybe the hypocrisy was too much for him?

  • Bub, Zombie in mourning
  • Bill D. Burger

    [It was a mere question of time before two forces of this much dramatic flourishing — Stone and the Bundys — came together.]

    Just two peas in a pod! I would love to see them together, and perhaps Bundy could tell Stone about “…the Jooooooooz’!” as the told America about “…your blacks.”

    https://img.wonkette.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/05/Bundy-Constitution-sparkle.jpg

    http://www.sunshinestatenews.com/sites/default/files/story_images/rogerstone-sunshinestatenews_0.jpg

  • Panika MCD

    OT – TX lege update

    Gov. Wheels revised his earlier statement on the call: the Senate has to pass the Sunset bills before he adds what TX House Speaker Straus referred to as a room full of horse manure to the call. the Senate suspended rules 11.10, 11.18 and 11.19 and are ramming the Sunset bills through Business & Commerce right this minute. not only is B&C a very odd committee choice for Sunset bills, but while 11.10 and 11.18 are suspended on a regular basis, 11.19 hasn’t been suspended for about 80 years so no one knows how or why the precedent was set, but they’ll do it anyway if it means they can get at all that red meat faster.

    the Senate also created a new committee chaired by, of all fucking people, Bettencourt and full of white men with Lucio the Theocrat and Uresti thrown in.

    Gov. Wheels will be posting a list of those who oppose his agenda which is really the Lt. Gov.’s agenda. the Lt. Gov. is now referring to himself as Gov. Wheels’ wingman.

    the House gaveled in, did a couple memorial resolutions and gaveled out after the Freedumbers complained for a bit about bills not being referred to committees at all.

    • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

      Doesn’t suspending 11.19 also prevent people from showing up who might be opposed to whatever shenanigans they want to do within the Sunset bills?

      • Panika MCD

        yes. there’s not usually any shenanigans in the Sunset bills, but they did pass out a bill that would repeal some of the budget riders for the agencies concerned…

  • notanncoulter
    • MynameisBlarney

      404’d.

      • notanncoulter

        ?! first time i try to embed a pic and its b0rked?!
        [i see it but that means nu-think!]

  • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

    Has Michele Fiore gone down to the county courthouse to comfort the poor Bundy boys yet?

    • shivaskeeper

      She’s not in the statehouse anymore, and I doubt she would be getting anyone on the Las Vegas city council to support her. There is no grift in it for her, so I doubt it.

      • PubOption

        Well she implanted herself into the story once before.

        • shivaskeeper

          There was money to be made and wingnuttery to spew as an unofficial, official GOPer spokeswoman. I don’t think it will work for her again.

        • Riley Whodat Venable

          No one said she didn’t have talent.

      • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

        There’s always grift when we talk about outside the Las Vegas core. You get to the outer reaches of the Las Vegas Valley and the politics start to resemble rural Alabama.

        • shivaskeeper

          That would explain how Sin City voted her onto the city council. IIRC her inserting of herself into the Malhure standoff was what lost her her bid for the Senate seat.

          I could be wrong though as it’s hard to keep track of the various flavors of wingnuts.

          • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

            She never was really a factor anyway. Her work in the attempted coup against the GOP Assembly leadership in 2015 pretty well sunk any chances of her star rising any higher in Nevada politics. City Council is pretty much a lateral move.

          • shivaskeeper

            I love learning things. I truly do.

  • bookish

    https://www.washingtonpost.com/world/national-security/former-clinton-and-romney-campaign-chiefs-join-forces-to-fight-election-hacking/2017/07/17/756ccf56-6b12-11e7-b9e2-2056e768a7e5_story.html?tid=ss_tw&utm_term=.bf8e95f49d73

    The former managers of Hillary Clinton and Mitt Romney’s presidential campaigns are leading a new initiative called “Defending Digital Democracy” in the hopes of preventing a repeat of Russia’s 2016 election interference.

    Robby Mook, Clinton’s 2016 campaign chief, and Matt Rhoades, who managed the 2012 run of GOP nominee Romney, are heading up the project at the Harvard Kennedy School’s Belfer Center for Science and International Affairs in one of the first major efforts outside government to grapple with 21st century hacking and propaganda operations — and ways to deter them.

    “The Russian influence campaign was one of the most significant national security events in the last decade, and it’s a near-certainty that all the other bad guys saw that and will try to do something similar in the United States in 2018 and 2020,” said Eric Rosenbach, co-director of the Belfer Center, which launches the initiative Tuesday.

    • Vincent Ricola

      Thank goddess someone is actually trying to do something about preventing this from happening in the future. Meanwhile the traitorous White House and stupid traitorous Americans scream “nothingburger” every time the subject is raised.

  • lucidamente

    “I want to tell you one more thing I know about the Stone.”

  • Edith Prickly

    Obligatory posting of the Epic Roger Stone Twitter Roast from March:
    http://nymag.com/selectall/2017/03/roger-stone-inauguration-outfit-twitter-roast-is-hilarious.html

    I see Rog is cosplaying The Penguin today…

  • MynameisBlarney
    • Vincent Ricola

      “I’m declaring bankruptcy on my presidential capital! That’ll show you! Not it!”

      *stomps foot eats ice cream*

    • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

      Oh, you will own it. We’ll make sure of that.

    • Augustus

      So he declares that they will do what’s necessary to be responsible for O’care failure, then also says he will not be responsible for O’care’s failure.

      What the fucking fuck stick?

      • MynameisBlarney

        That’s how repubs take personal responsibility.

  • Walter Wellstone

    If Stone and the Bundys think they can steal the spotlight from Donald they’re dangerously mistaken. Donald will use the power of the Federal Government to crush their little dreams of stardom. No one has the right to take dominance of the news cycle away front Donald. No one.

  • Bill D. Burger

    Trump just now: “We’re going to let Obamacare fail. It’s failing. The Republicans are not going to own it. I’m certainly not going to own it. We must let it fail. I will be waiting to sign another bill to replace the failing Obamacare. It must go. It’s failing. Democrats will own it. They’re obstructionists. They obstruct. Something’s gonna’ happen. You’re messing with the wrong guy here. I can tell you that…blah, blah, blah, blah……..”

    Goddamn who talks like that.

    • TJ Barke

      Seriously?

    • Walter Wellstone

      OK, DNC: get your media people some coffee and pizza. You’ve got shitloads of TV ads to write. The story is about Republican incompetence and Donald’s carelessness. They literally don’t give a shit about people’s healthcare. Go write some nice TV ads. The campaign for the midterms starts now.

      • TJ Barke

        That would require spines.

      • Bill D. Burger

        Democrats HAVE to start messaging and now. The Repukes will flood their districts with lies and bullshit and MegaMouth will use the Bully Pulpit to blame the Democrats even though the GOPigs control both the House and Senate and the presidency.

        • Walter Wellstone

          Yup. They better fucking start now.

          • shivaskeeper

            Should have started around Dec 1st. The GOPers have been running their lies pretty well unchallenged for 6 months now.

    • Vincent Ricola

      Dumbfucks who can’t read or do words well talk like that.

    • TheGrandWazoo2

      Don CorleOrange.

    • shivaskeeper

      This fucking guy talks like that.

    • therblig

      nice little healthcare you got there. be a real shame if something happened to it.

    • Komsumverweigerer Ron

      Who talks like that? Someone in deep denial that the thing he wants most in the world is being taken away from him.

    • jesterpunk

      Hey Donny Dumbass when you break everything then piss on the rug you can’t blame the person who you kept out of the house for not stopping you.

  • Phoenixdoglover

    Looks like Cliven may get a good Rogering, after all.

  • Steve Cole

    Surprised that Roger Stone thinks the patriots are a big enough crowd for him to exploit.

  • azeyote

    when you defend mooching ass criminals you are a true republican hero –

    • tomamitai

      I assume there’s an implied “white” in front of “mooching ass criminals”?

  • Jenny

    If Trump pardons these idiots, wouldn’t that set a bad precedent?

    Like say an army of sovereign citizens taking over the white house for their dumb ideas because they expect no consequences. Although with this administration, they might be greeted as liberators.

    • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

      I don’t think they’d accept them, because a pardon comes with the implied statement that you’re guilty of the crime.

      • shivaskeeper

        I would depend on the annotated pocket Constitution they are reading. Does the President even have that power in their version of it?

      • Riley Whodat Venable

        And that the President of the United States has authority over you. Trump is only president of a corporation DBA the “United States of America.” Being Soveriegn the Bundy’s are no longer collaterals to the corporations loans. Or some shit.

        • shivaskeeper

          A pardon from the local Sheriff, who is the highest law officer in all the land, might do it though.

          • Riley Whodat Venable

            Very true. The Constitutional Sheriff may have a difficult time convincing the Warden of a Federal Prison though.

          • shivaskeeper

            That sure would suck for them wouldn’t it?

        • Toomush_Inferesistance

          And Clive is Donald’s own grandpa…

    • shivaskeeper

      They would have to be convicted first I think?

      • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

        Nope. You can pardon someone at any time. The pardon power is absolute at the federal level.

        • shivaskeeper

          Good to know. I knew the pardon could be used for any other crimes that may be found out later, even if they are not related to what the pardon was for, but I was under the assumption that there would be a conviction for something first.

  • geoffalnutt

    OMG!!!! Once you’ve found Cliven…cancel you calendar!!!

  • Carpe Vagenda

    I’m a little horrified by the image of Cliven Bundy with great big fake tits, but I guess the thing where he has to get boned while Roger watches makes up for it.

  • Joe Beese

    Murkowski the third NO on straight repeal.

    https://twitter.com/byrdinator/status/887350692591132673

    • Riley Whodat Venable

      Thanks for the update. I figured this was doomed.

    • cmd resistor

      So there was some big fat GOP Senate lunch and CNN is waiting for them to come out an make a statement. So far just press people milling around. http://www.cnn.com/specials/live-video-1

  • armed_bears

    I’m in the west. I own livestock. I live adjoining state lands. And 99.9% of all livestock owners, in my experience, are not Cliven Bundy. In fact, we wish he’d shut up.

    Folks who do NOT have access to federal grazing lands would be just darn happy to pay for lease permits, if Bundy would like to give up his. Grazing leases are federal (or state, often) assets, and having lease access without paying for it is sorta like stealing from other ranchers.

    • Steve Cole

      I also live in the intermountain west. I also run Dexters. Uncertain everyone wants Bundy to STFU (state of Jefferson, yadda, yadda), but we all recognize the value of a grazing lease. Cloven is a criminal, full stop.

    • Komsumverweigerer Ron

      I doubt he considers other ranchers to be worthy of his concern, or even notice.

    • tomamitai

      I read somewhere that if the state took over the grazing lands that the Bundys use the fee would be higher than the feds charge.

      • armed_bears

        Curiously, I do not hear many folks with leases arguing that we should use market forces to determine if they are paying full market rate… They like ’em just where they are, thank you.

    • goonemeritus

      It’s only stealing if the government does it.

      • armed_bears

        Well, ‘natch.

  • Riley Whodat Venable

    Thanks Killer (and I love the “Father Ted” avatar.
    Will the Bundy’s and their congregation let Roger hang with them? He’s crazy, but not so much in a Soveriegn Citizen kind of way.

  • Joe Beese
  • Gayer Than Thou

    Please tell me Roger Stone is in costume for one of the 17 million different Batman movies. Because if I saw him in Palm Springs dressed like that I’d think he was a retired homosexual person. Omigod – please tell me Roger Stone is not a homosexual person.

    • Carpe Vagenda

      Roger Stone is actually not a homosexual person, or at least not exclusively. We know this because Roger and his second/current wife took out ads seeking gentlemen gifted with enhanced melanin to achieve congress with the lovely and surgically-altered Mrs. Stone while Roger watched.

      So, yeah, Roger actually is that great bugaboo of the alts he purports to reign over, a cuck.

      eta: Oh, the clothes? Nah, he thinks he’s in line to replace Tom Wolfe as a style icon for people who think Tom Wolfe is a style icon.

      • AJ Milne

        Y’know, I generally find it out of bounds to hassle people for their fetishes. I mean, as long as they’re not complete fucking hypocrites about it, not making political hay outta putting people away for things they themselves buy in bulk…

        … oh. Right. And then again: this is _Stone_, who’s now backing _Trump_, who’s playing pretty hot and heavy footsie with certain asshole fundagelicals, who’d probably pretty much _outlaw_ any sex that allows them to point and hate. Publicly, anyway. What they do in their own airport bathrooms is apparently their business…

        … anyway and either way, there’s something strangely, hilariously poetic about that.

    • Kiri the Unicorn

      He isn’t. That’s just his ‘Impresario’ costume.

    • Lance Thrustwell

      Nope. He is a big ole perv, though. And speaking for considerate, upstanding pervs everywhere, I resent his presence in our community.

    • Snark Tank Full of Resistance

      Nope. “There will be growth in the Spring.” Also too “I like to watch.”

      http://s.marketwatch.com/public/resources/MWimages/MW-EM967_seller_ZG_20160518135123.jpg

  • (((fka_donnie_d)))

    Two men who dress that way would only normally appear on camera together in a bad gay porno.

  • Joe Beese

    Sounds like a plan!

    By midday Tuesday, the Republican Party’s seven-year-old promise to repeal the Affordable Care Act appeared broken. At the White House, President Trump said his plan was now “to let Obamacare fail,” suggesting Democrats would then seek out Republicans to work together on a health measure.

    “It will be a lot easier,” Mr. Trump said, adding, “We’re not going to own it. I’m not going to own it. I can tell you the Republicans are not going to own it. We’ll let Obamacare fail and then the Democrats are going to come to us.”

    https://www.nytimes.com/2017/07/18/us/politics/republicans-obamacare-repeal-now-replace-later.html

    • Komsumverweigerer Ron

      Yes, the Democrats will come to you. They’ll be pointing and laughing.

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      You dumb spiteful shit. That’s not how it works. You bought it, you promised to fix it, and you couldn’t, even with owning the White House and Congress.
      75% of the country will blame you. The rest are your irredeemably stupid base.

      • shivaskeeper

        Plus the SCOTUS now. As if Goresuch would rule against corporate interests?

    • shivaskeeper

      The politics of spite. Can we stop all this winning?

      • Ω cynmac will never surrender

        The politics of spite. Can we stop all this winning whining? FIFY

        • shivaskeeper

          I acknowledge the better wording.

        • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

          Rush Limbaugh started it. (The whining with no solution I mean.)

    • Edith Prickly

      Oh you are so going to own it, broflake.

      • cmd resistor

        I like that, “broflake.”

    • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

      I dunno about the Democratic Party, but an awful lot of folks with pitchforks, torches, hot tar and feathers probably will.

  • Beanz&Berryz

    Between Cliven and Roger, who’s the Daddy?

  • TheGrandWazoo2

    ♪ Stone and Bundy swinging from a tree,
    ha ha ho ho hee hee hee ♪

    With votes.

  • UncleTravelingMatt

    Wait, are you saying there is something wrong with drafting pleadings in Bauhaus? Because if you are . . .

    • AJ Milne

      Go Copperplate or go home.

    • Augustus

      This form uses Comic Sans: http://www.dem.ri.gov/programs/benviron/water/permits/swcoord/cheklist.doc

      It’s really a poorly written and composed document that is extremely frustrating to use.

      Fucking Comic Sans, are you fucking kidding me?? This isn’t a child’s lemonade stand sign. What the actual…

      • UncleTravelingMatt

        Someone must have figured it out. I see they abandon Comic Sans about a third of the way through.

        • AJ Milne

          Ah yes. The stream of unconsciousness school of graphic design.

      • Three Finger Salute

        Ah, Li’l Rhodie, the state that keeps on giving. From Buddy and his mob pals, to the revolving door path leading from the General Assembly to federal prison, to Quahog’s own wingnut James Woods, to the C64s at the welfare department crashing and leaving millions of poor people without state benefits, to the failed $5M tourism campaign to come from away to “Rhode Iceland.” But hey, at least there’s a really awesome July 4th parade, and Del’s Lemonade is wickett good.

        Other than Iggy’s Doughboys and the fabulous Viola Davis, Justin Trudeau’s speech at the national governors’ conference was the most respectable thing that’s come out of there in a long, long time. See, we really don’t make anything in America anymore. We even have to import our coherent, charismatic, compassionate politicians all the way from Canada. Well, now that the mayor of Quahog has sadly passed away.

        • tomamitai

          C64 libelz!!!!!!!!!!!!!1!!!!

      • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

        We used to do all of our reports in Times New Roman, and forms in Arial. When we started scanning everything we figured out Arial scanned better, so everything went to Arial.
        Liked Times New Roman better.

  • Joe Beese
    • shivaskeeper

      Math does not work that way.

      • Joe Beese

        No math. No math. You’re math.

        • shivaskeeper

          I am the math.

          • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

            Yes, you are!

          • Yet you’re not a divider.

          • I am the Alpha and the Omega

          • tomamitai

            He is the waller-ass, goo goo ga joob!

          • shivaskeeper

            I am become Death. The destroyer of worlds.

      • Beanz&Berryz

        Nor does democracy. Losing loser still thinks fewer votes means a win.

        • tomamitai

          Maybe he thinks he won in the Senatorial Electoral College?

          • Beanz&Berryz

            He got s majority of his own party to go along. That ought to count for something.

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      FFS. He didn’t really say that, did he? I know he’s an imbecile, but he couldn’t have actually said that, could he?

      • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

        He always has to “win” so if he loses, he reinterprets it as a win and moves on, so yes, he is that big of an imbecile

        • Ω cynmac will never surrender

          Asshole also too. Many an asshole has overestimated as well.

    • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

      Congratulations. You managed to convince the majority of the political party you are the leader of to support you. Next will you turn ice into water?

    • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

      It would not have been 48-4. A bunch of Senators were biding their time and hoping it would collapse before they had to declare themselves.

    • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

      If he thinks he lost by just a little he thinks that makes him look better? A loss is a loss (asshole).

      • tomamitai

        Except when it’s a Dem in a red state off-year special election? ( ͡ᵔ ͜ʖ ͡ᵔ )

    • Jamoche

      Still hasn’t figured out that votes from the other side count.

  • La forza del resistino

    City slicker Roger tours the Bundy cattle farm and says he has no problem with stepping in a little bullshit.

    • tomamitai

      “City slicker Roger tours the Bundy cattles farm and says he has no problem with stepping in a littleslinging enormous loads of bullshit.”
      FTFY

    • Beanz&Berryz

      He’s in luck. Starving cows don’t shit much.

  • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

    “My first day in office, I am going to ask Congress to put a bill on my desk getting rid of this disastrous law and replacing it with reforms that expand choice, freedom, affordability,” said Trump on Oct. 25, a day after he St. Augustine speech, in Sanford, Florida. “You’re going to have such great health care at a tiny fraction of the cost. And it’s going to be so easy.”

    http://abcnews.go.com/Politics/fact-checking-trumps-repeal-replace-obamacare-timeline/story?id=46360908

    • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

      And Custer told his men “One last stand and we can all go home.”

    • Joe Beese
      • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

        It would be less than that if a vote were actually held.

    • La forza del resistino

      Saw him on TV and he’s blaming Cryin’ Chuck for not maing it easy.
      BTW, he could kick off his jobs plan by hiring a WH barber. The man looks like a carnival mechanic.

      • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

        How much easier does it have to be? They have the majority, the minority can’t filibuster it, and they can disregard the rules if it suits them. They hold a full house, and they still can’t beat a pair of deuces.

        • tomamitai

          The Democrats are the party that says government will make you smarter, taller, richer, and remove the crabgrass on your lawn. Republicans are the party that says government doesn’t work, and then they get elected and prove it. — P.J. O’Rourke, Parliament of Whores

      • cmd resistor

        He really does have the worst hair in history.

      • Canned Covfefe

        The man looks like a carnival mechanic with Tilt-A-Whirl lube in his hair

        And we have ANOTHER winner today!

  • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

    “Cliven is an attention seeking prat with the reasoning capacity of one of his stupider cows”
    Coffvee meet tablet. That’s the funniest thing I’ve seen since Gollum reading one of Trumps tweets. I love you Wonkette

    • Snark Tank Full of Resistance

      You misspelled “covfefe”……

      • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

        It’s coffee that’s been Trumped.

        • Three Finger Salute

          …with “lemon juice”?

  • SDGeoff3

    Seriuosly; Bunkerville? Founded by Archie?

    • Three Finger Salute

      Or Adolf and Eva.

      • SDGeoff3

        Marry me.

  • ariel_gee_398

    If Roger lives by the dress for the job you want motto, I’m guessing he’s very disappointed he hasn’t received a phone call asking him to play a villain in a Dick Tracy movie.

  • Three Finger Salute

    George Burns came back from the dead and turned into an asshole? Noooooo…!

  • MynameisBlarney
  • Lance Thrustwell

    These dust-bowl latter-day taints are so ridiculous with their intentionally obtuse 19th-century identities – giving their children names like ‘Ammon’. If you’re so god-damned resistant to modernity, trade in those modern weapons for antiques and stop using things like phones and modern irrigation. Go Amish or go home.

    • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

      Latter-day taints for the win!

    • Three Finger Salute

      But their real daddy is Mammon, so it’s just a family name. M’ammon — “my Ammon,” like Offred.

  • Ricky Gay

    Stone’s ensemble, and the Bundys in general — just needs Jim West and Artie Gordon.

  • goonemeritus

    I look forward to Roger chaining himself to some random rock outcropping to demonstrate his devotion to the cause.

    • Augustus

      Like Prometheus?

      • goonemeritus

        Prometheus was kind of a Baller, Roger would be more like that forgotten bicycle chained up years ago outside a train station and slowly decomposing.

      • Jamoche
      • Ω cynmac will never surrender

        Or Sisphyus? Can he outrun the rock?

    • Suttree

      Will the wolves have to draw straws to see who has to eat him?

      • goonemeritus

        Just because a wolf will eat field mice, fur and all there is no reason to believe they don’t have some lines they aren’t willing to cross.

  • OT moving update: have arrived to new place. On arrival, we were informed the moving elevator was broken. Now unloading very slowly

    • Lance Thrustwell

      Ruh roh. You mean, there’s a freight elevator, but it’s broken? Is there a regular elevator? (and do you have any really heavy objects?)

      • Regular elevator, but larger and with a rear load door to make everything easier

        • Lance Thrustwell

          but there is another elevator?

          • Yes. But not having the moving elevator has more than doubled the time

          • Lance Thrustwell

            That sucks. Just glad you’re not having to do the stairs!

          • My new place is on the 17th floor. That would not be happening

          • Lance Thrustwell

            Yeeg.

          • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

            “Where are we?”

            “Looks like the mid-teens.”

            “Well, when we get to twenty let me know. I’m gonna throw up.”

          • Canned Covfefe

            What kind of view do you have?

          • Nice. I will add pics to the open thread later

        • Snark Tank Full of Resistance

          Word of advice: If the elderly woman next door wants to give you a charm made of tannis root, say “No.”

    • LucindathePook

      My worst move: Moving from our big house to a small apartment, in a blizzard, the day the cat gave birth to kittens.

      • SisterArtemis

        This sounds like the lovely beginning of a romantic comedy.

      • SeeTrain65

        Had a similar experience. Driving my brother from his old apartment in Toledo to his new apartment in Ravenna, avoiding the toll road. About 170 miles, with him driving a U-Haul truck and me in his car behind.

        As soon as we hit the eastbound route, BOOM! BLIZZARD. And I mean blizzard! Snow falling hard. Visibility near zero. He slogged it out without stopping, I got scared and pulled into a McDonald’s for a spell, then continued, not knowing exactly where he was or where his new place was.

        I reached Ravenna somehow (and I’ll be damned if I know how, I white-knuckled it all the way), got into town and was afraid I’d never find him. I called work to tell them I wouldn’t be in, and sat in the car for about an hour in the parking lot of a convenience store, spooked out of my mind, when I saw his U-Haul roll by. He spotted me and drove to his place.

        Then, we moved him in, which took hours. Then we returned the truck and went back to his new place, where I believe we slept until 2 p.m. the next day.

        NEVER. AGAIN.

        • LucindathePook

          How awful. Luckily, we only had to move about 5 miles. It was the load/unload that was bad. And the kittens. No, kittens are never bad.

    • Crystalclear12

      Have you considered a rummage sale?

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      At that point I’d consider leaving it out by the curb with a “free stuff” sign.

    • Canned Covfefe

      I’m sure you’re hanging in there but hell…

    • SeeTrain65

      But at least you made it!

      (I’m trying to stay positive here today. Sometimes it works, other times …)

  • Robbertjan Brandenburg

    I don’t understand why people watch Game of thrones while you have American current affairs.

    • Dragons and tits

      • Robbertjan Brandenburg

        You have Ann Coulter so there is your dragon.

        • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

          The dragons are prettier. And more useful.

          • Ω cynmac will never surrender

            And they can fly! (without a broomstick?)

        • Snark Tank Full of Resistance

          Gorgon Dragon.

      • Robbertjan Brandenburg

        Oh yeah I keep forgetting that only in The Netherlands we are flabbergasted if there are no tits in a tv show.

        • Snark Tank Full of Resistance

          Yet another reason I want to emigrate.

    • AJ Milne

      _Way_ better sex scenes.

    • GreenGoldSharpie

      At least Cersei has great lines while she fails.

    • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

      Well, I can tell you that is why I haven’t seen the new episode yet, I can’t tear myself away from this shit show long enough.

    • Jamoche

      Fiction has an advantage over reality: fiction has to make sense.

    • Skwerl the Taco Hunter
    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      We haven’t got to head squishing or eating people alive with wild dogs..yet…
      Keep gutting those OHSA laws and we’ll get there.

    • Zonath

      Game of Thrones actually has a few sympathetic characters…

      • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

        Internet win of the day.

    • Edith Prickly

      No Tyrion.

      • Pisto75666

        No Cersei, dragons OR most importantly, Euron Greyjoy because….WOW.

    • Vincent Ricola

      Westeros appears to understand the dangers that come along with creepy ancient white walkers that want to take over and the serious effects of climate change. I look to them for guidance.

  • Bub, Zombie in mourning

    OT: Mike Huckabee’s Twitter feed. Where comedy dies screaming:

    https://twitter.com/GovMikeHuckabee/status/886814670941761536

    • Lance Thrustwell

      Most people have to get really drunk to be that stupid and unfunny. Guess Huck is just efficient.

    • Jgb979

      I think it was Patton Oswald who said every right wing asshole is just a failed comedian.

      Really adorable he thinks you need a college education to know “What is Finland”

    • SDGeoff3

      It’s a Fundie God Squad thing. They can’t cuss, dance or screw, so puerile humor is the Thing. They really so think it’s a riot. Even Ned Flanders gets more laughs.

      • Major_Major_Major

        Okey-diddlee-gofuckyerself-huckabee.

        • SDGeoff3

          Now see that? It is not only apropos, it can be set to music. Why, one could even dance to it!

    • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef
    • theCryptofishist

      Um, we know you’re thinking about Tom.

  • Crystalclear12

    Reagan was wrong. We need more insane asylums, not less.

  • Joe Beese
    • So, Jr doesn’t know enough to be helpful, and nothing Manafort says can fuck up their case?

      • Ω cynmac will never surrender

        But Jr is real stupid and may implicate others and Manafort would be looking to make himself look good, others not so much.
        Even if new info isn’t revealed, this will be great theatre.

      • Snark Tank Full of Resistance

        Getting it under oath, on the record….So when half of what they say is revealed to be a lie, there’s perjury on top of conspiracy. Should be fun to watch.

        • Pisto75666

          Goody! I know what I’m watching once Orphan Black is over!

    • Marla

      A self-burial. Nice.

    • Ω cynmac will never surrender

      Publicly? This will be bigger ratings than Comey Day. I don’t have enough beer or popcorn!

    • tomamitai

      I wonder if Jr. can do sneering contempt as well as Neil Bush did when he testified?

  • Jgb979

    So what I’m taking away from this:

    If only there was some sort of red state broadway they could channel their theatrical impulses into.

    I would say one of these idiots is going to Timothy mcveigh themselves into martyrdom, but I’m genuinely not sure if they could even light the fuse.

    Happy to ship out another box of dildos though for the cause STAY ROCK HARD YOU GUYS!

    • Ω cynmac will never surrender

      More likely for Ammon to lead a David Koresh, but hopefully with no wimmens and chillens.

  • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

    After Trump pardons Cliven for deadbeating and armed intimidating of law enforcement peoples and stupid, he can run for Senate on the newly formed Articles of Confederation/Magna Carta, or Confederacy a la Carta, party.

    • jesterpunk

      I thought he was in the “welfare for me not for anyone else” party? AKA the Republican party.

  • Joe Beese
  • Michael R
    • Jgb979

      Probably seemed like a good idea 50 years ago said nobody.

      Credit where due, the warp of time hasn’t added the jowel definition to nixons face one would expect.

      • Jeffery Campbell

        Any excuse to post this will do:

        Oh Lydia, oh Lydia, say, have you met Lydia?
        Lydia The Tattooed Lady
        She has eyes that men adore so
        and a torso even more so

        Lydia, oh Lydia, that encyclopedia
        Oh Lydia The Queen of them all
        On her back is The Battle of Waterloo
        Beside it the Wreck of the Hesperus too
        And proudly above waves the red, white, and blue
        You can learn a lot from Lydia!

        She can give you a view of the world in tattoo
        if you step up and tell her where
        For a dime you can see Kankakee or Paree
        or Washington crossing The Delaware.

        Oh Lydia, oh Lydia, say, have you met Lydia?
        Lydia The Tattooed Lady
        When her muscles start relaxin’
        up the hill comes Andrew Jackson

        Lydia, oh Lydia, that encyclopedia
        Oh Lydia the champ of them all
        For two bits she will do a mazurka in jazz
        with a view of Niagara that nobody has
        And on a clear day you can see Alcatraz
        You can learn a lot from Lydia!

        Come along and see Buffalo Bill with his lasso
        Just a little classic by Mendel Picasso
        Here is Captain Spaulding exploring the Amazon
        Here’s Godiva, but with her pajamas on

        Oh Lydia, oh Lydia, oh, have you met Lydia?
        Lydia The Tattooed Lady
        When she stands the world grows littler
        When she sits, she sits on Hitler

        Lydia, oh Lydia, that encyclopedia
        Oh Lydia The Queen of them all
        She once swept an Admiral clear off his feet
        The ships on her hips made his heart skip a beat
        And now the old boy’s in command of the fleet
        for he went and married Lydia!

        • theCryptofishist

          Always upfist Lydia.

    • Three Finger Salute

      What idiot gets a Nixon tattoo? This one is much sexier. So is the tattoo owner.

      https://pmchollywoodlife.files.wordpress.com/2017/03/justin-trudeau-just-got-a-tattoo-ftr.jpg

    • goingohm

      I wanna see/really don’t wanna see what’s on his butt cheeks.

  • SayItWithWookies

    With his getups, Roger must be there to assist the Bundy’s in coming up with an elaborate and time-consuming mechanism for doing away with Batman and Robin once and for all.

  • Kiri the Unicorn

    Stone is such a bottom feeder, my Plecostomus looks embarrassed. He’s one of a legion of parasitic sleazeballs that have swarmed around Trump, attracted by the stench of rancid grease and hair gel.

  • jesterpunk

    OT but they now know who the 8th person in Jr’s Russia meeting is.

    http://www.cnn.com/2017/07/18/politics/eighth-man-trump-tower-meeting-russia/index.html

    The eighth person who attended the June 2016 meeting with Donald Trump Jr. at Trump Tower is a senior vice president at the company founded by the Russian oligarch who initiated the meeting, CNN has learned.

    Ike Kaveladze’s identity was confirmed by his attorney, Scott Balber.

    Kaveladze is a senior vice president at Crocus Group, the real estate development company run by Azerbaijani-Russian oligarch Aras Agalarov, according to Kaveladze’s LinkedIn. His personal website says he “holds responsibility for multiple elements of the company’s Russian development project.”

    • GreenGoldSharpie

      I bet he was all concerned about chubby Russian babbys.

      • jesterpunk

        That what they are calling it now?

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      Are you sure there won’t be a ninth person, a tenth, person, and so on?

      • jesterpunk

        Was Rick “Oops” Perry there too?

        • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

          He doesn’t remember.

        • GreenGoldSharpie

          Yes, but he was looking for the bathroom after having a taco bowl downstairs.

      • SeeTrain65

        “Kislyak will tell two friends, then they’ll tell two friends …

        … and so on …
        … and so on …
        … and so on …”

    • MynameisBlarney

      Someone posted this on DU,but linked to an article from the Palmer Report.
      Not sure what to believe at this moment.

      • jesterpunk

        Well the guys lawyer confirmed he was there.

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      Sr. VPs often attend meetings with lawyers and government officials to discuss matters of little to no importance, I’ve heard.

    • He went to University of New Haven??? That’s where the forensics nerds-CSI wannabes go.

  • MynameisBlarney
  • Snark Tank Full of Resistance

    Oh, c’mon, am I the only one to see a resemblance to Chauncey Gardiner?

    https://gardenofplenty.files.wordpress.com/2008/11/beingthere11.jpg

    • Carpe Vagenda

      By all reports he does like to watch.

  • Joe Beese

    Oh, Glenn, you silly billy. You know what else ratchets up tensions between us and Russia? Their undermining the credibility of our elections.

    Dumbass.

    https://twitter.com/ggreenwald/status/887365347862556677

    • jesterpunk

      Great idea dumbass, lets just give Russia everything they want. They already got the president they wanted.

    • Edith Prickly
    • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

      But it also tells us that we cannot address many of our most urgent challenges — from Syria and climate change to nuclear proliferation and cyber issues — without the United States and Russia finding ways to work together when it serves our mutual interests.

      Please define “mutual interest”, because right now the only interest Russia has is in destabilizing the West and decreasing U.S. influence in global politics. And please also explain how the demand that the U.S. return two Russian properties with no conditions and no concessions is in our “mutual” interests.

    • Bub, Zombie in mourning

      Reading Glenn Greenwald is a terrific way for me to pin my rage meter. What a fucking asshole.

  • natoslug

    Oswald Cobblepot has really let himself go.

  • nightmoth

    What I don’t get about the morans who support Bundy’s refusal to pay grazing fees is that he’s taking money from US, the taxpayers. The federal gubmint is US. The land is OURS. If Mr. & Mrs. Hate the Gubmint had a rental unit and the tenants refused to pay rent, would they say it was okay? I want my damn money for having his scrawny cows graze on the land my illustrious ancestors stole from the Indians.

    • jesterpunk

      He is not only stealing from ta payers, his free grazing means there is less space for other paying farmers to use.

      • tomamitai

        Plus he can under-sell them at market and drive down the price.

      • pstockholm

        And the fees are far below market value to start with.

        • jesterpunk

          Yep, but that might soon be free for those moochers since Trump is nominating their lawyer to manage the BLM.

    • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

      Also remember when one of his cows got free and wandered onto the highway (where it was struck by a motorist, causing severe injuries to both occupants of the vehicle), he sued the state and the county for the loss of his cow claiming they should have done more to fence his cows in.

      • jesterpunk

        So he took “personal responsibility” for his actions?

      • nightmoth

        Oh, Lord. I had forgotten that, and now I’m banging my head on my desk, since I can’t bang Clive’s head, instead.

        • Pax Americana Per Ars Smith

          Please don’t ever use Clive Bundy and banging in the same post again!

  • cmd resistor

    The milling around of reporters at the Senate thingy seems to be getting a bit more focused so maybe they are getting ready to start.

  • Nounverb911
    • eyelashviper

      Stolen!

  • Nounverb911

    I read on the internets that Roger Stone is being considered for the role of the first snowflake James Bond.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/907da23b0e6dc6ee0321e615f0ab5c17d51fdaa4f123ba1c7dba058b648812a3.jpg

    • Vincent Ricola

      Conned. Roger Conned.

    • Three Finger Salute

      From Russia With Love
      Goldshower
      On Czar Putin’s Secret Service
      For Your Lies Only
      Goldshower (or GoldenShower)
      Diamonds from Jared Are Forever

      and of course

      Grab Her By the Octopussy

      • Canned Covfefe

        I’d sent extra up votes if I could. Classic.

    • Kiri the Unicorn

      I’ll be in the garage, heating up the big-ass laser.

    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      “My name is Roger….Roger Shitstain….

  • Daniel Hooper

    How offensive, saying Cliven has the reasoning capacity of one of his stupider cows. Even the absolute lowest IQ cow is exponentially smarter than him, AND the things that come out of it are much more useful than anything Cliven’s done.

  • Three Finger Salute

    Speaking of protesters, have a look at this idiot:

    “This is a peaceful protest!” Trump supporter crashes nonviolent progressive demonstration to start up a brawl

    Weimar collapse in drei… zwei… ein…

  • Joe Beese

    If McConnell has suffered a worse fiasco in his time as leader, I can’t remember what it was. He wrote the bill, he failed to put a coalition together (admittedly an almost impossible task in this case), and, if you believe Ron Johnson, he took to telling moderate Republicans privately that it was safe to vote for Medicaid cuts since they would never go into effect. …

    Is McConnell still planning to force a vote on clean repeal knowing that he doesn’t have the votes to pass it and knowing that that’ll cause all sorts of political pain for different reasons for different elements in his caucus? That would be un-Mitch-like, but maybe McConnell’s ready for a little revenge on the Republicans who embarrassed him. …

    Update: Looks like McConnell’s going to make the caucus own this one:

    http://hotair.com/archives/2017/07/18/doom-repeal-susan-collins-lisa-murkowski-wont-proceed-bill-unless-includes-replacement-obamacare/

    https://twitter.com/ChadPergram/status/887364504249663488

    • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

      Okay, he’s decided “If I go down, I’m not going down alone.”

    • Bub, Zombie in mourning

      He really doesn’t get this whole legislative process thing at all. Lyndon Johnson must be spinning in his grave.

      • John Thorstensen

        Given how much Lyndon Johnson would have loathed this bill, he’s probably laughing at the ineptitude.

    • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

      This is punishment. He’s going to force all the Republicans to reveal themselves to their ignorant base. If it passess, #WINNING; if it doesn’t, the base will crucify the people who wouldn’t support repeal.

      • Joe Beese

        Lumpy’s radio show should contain some choice whining on the subject.

        • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

          Man. That guy doesn’t have folds in his brain, just one YOOOGE crevasse.

  • Michael Smith

    “so they started traveling the country and exploiting legitimate grievances trying to rally their base”

    Ha. Story of America’s life.

    • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

      Worst “Partridge Family remake ever.” Zero stars. No thumbs up.

      • theCryptofishist

        They should have kept Danny Boneducci as the coke dealer.

        • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

          He is a natural for the Trump era.

      • thixotropic jerk

        “Come on git sovereign!”

  • Ducksworthy

    I believe I once saw a picture of Mike Pence with his copy of the Holy Bible, Cliven Bundy Version.

  • eyelashviper

    Stone and Bundy are the kind of wretched scumbags who will always align together with their hatred of all that is good and decent.
    Fuk em to the end of the universe, and then fuk em more…

  • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

    Is Stoner trying to look like The Penguin on purpose?

  • frrolfe

    I’m sorry if someone else has mentioned this but, SUPER LAWYER GUY LLAARRY KKKLAYTON has stepped into the breach and lots of other things. Sorry, WND has pulled the article but I’m sure that some intrepid Wonkateer will find it

    • Ω cynmac will never surrender

      They may have pulled it from their main page, but it’s still on the site:
      Help Protect Cliven Bundy from Obama’s Deep State
      http://www.wnd.com/2017/07/help-protect-cliven-bundy-from-obamas-deep-state/

      • eyelashviper

        My first time at wnd, and after a few minutes, need a shower, decontamination, and a drink…

        • Ω cynmac will never surrender

          I just found it. I didn’t read it.

      • frrolfe

        thanks for that but I did search. What a crowd of morans and a idiots. Not even maroons.

  • Ω cynmac will never surrender

    News Update – Dennis Hastert has been released from prison to a halfway house
    https://www.yahoo.com/news/federal-records-hastert-released-prison-minnesota-125049060.html

    • Pax Americana Per Ars Smith

      Hopefully, halfway between here and hell.

    • theCryptofishist

      Apparently, OJ Simpson is on his way to the wide world soon, also, too. I was going to say that at least he’d served a few years, but then I remembered, blah.

  • anon_the_great

    Un-Fuck Roger Stone for the rest of his miserable struggle against entropy. He could have done it better.

  • jesterpunk

    Trump is planning on putting the Bundy family lawyer in charge of managing federal land.

    http://www.salon.com/2017/07/18/karen-budd-falen-the-bundy-familys-lawyer-may-be-trumps-pick-to-manage-federal-lands/

  • pstockholm

    Not really interested in anything Cloven Bunghole says or does. Next, please.

  • Les Appentis De la résistance

    The circle is now complete. I’m sure Hannity will be covering this after he rehydrates from all his pants jizzing.

  • chascates

    What would happen if I decided to go camping where these nuts graze their cattle? As a citizen I should have equal access to federal land as anyone else.

    • Yr. Gma

      You would be accosted by a starving cow looking for a handout.

      • HazooToo

        Moochers.

  • CATMAN

    Dumbfuckers and ratfuckers coming together–a match made in heaven

  • Erick the Kracker

    I think Roger is probably trolling for some “well hung men” out in the wild west.

    • JustDon’tSaySortMyBalls

      “Or would you like to swing on a staaarrr…”

  • whitroth

    Cut to the chase. They want to revolt, fine: bust them all for treason, and send them up the river to break rocks in the hot sun. (Yeah, mixed lyrics.)

  • Yr. Gma

    Mesquite is actually a pretty place what with the Virgin River flowing by and all. The Virgin River Gorge is breathtaking. Sadly, gone is the Oasis Casino that had the best tacky Vegas wannabe interior around (well, it was the only casino for awhile.) That some goofus Sovereign Citizen types (flavored with some Fundamentalist Mormon lunacy) found a footing in Mesquite is both sad and understandable.

    • Glenn Hendricks

      Nice golf there though

  • chascates
    • TundraGrifter

      “Old Pool Boy, I’d like to introduce you to my new Pool Boy. Turn in your towel.”

  • ken_kukec

    Excuse me, Comic Sans has been the font of choice for serious legal scrivening since the days of Magna Carta!

  • African RockFish

    You should all see what is serving as “Camp Alpha,” aka “home base” for these poots’ cheerleaders in Vegas: an honest to goodness shooting gallery/dope house that they’re squatting in. They’re making their kids live among the feces, bugs, vermin and used syringes in a drug den without electricity or working plumbing so they can pretend to be “patriots.”

    • Wes

      How heavily armed is CPS? Seems like they need a welfare check of a different kind than they’re used to.

  • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

    the crazy armed insurrectionists are congealing.

    • yyyaz

      With a little bit of luck, they’ll clot, scab and flake off.

  • Glenn Hendricks

    Worst slash fiction EVER

    • The Wanderer

      Hmm.

  • susan_g

    Someone should document this pairing as it develops. It could be called, “Roger and Meathead”.

    • JustDon’tSaySortMyBalls

      “Hoofwanking Bunglecunts II: Who Framed Roger Bundy?”

  • Lyly Sirivong

    A match made in hell.

  • TundraGrifter

    What in the world is Roger Stone’s entity “Citizens for Trump?” ​Published accounts call it a Super PAC headed by Roger Stone. It isn’t.

    It appears to be a for-profit entity owned and operated by the “Patriotic Network, LLC” – in turn, owned by Timothy Selaty, Sr. (“Political Innovations, LLC,” “Tea Party Community” – the “conservative alternative to Facebook” – “Tea Party Tribune,” et. al.).

    I did not find an LLC registration for Patriotic Network or Patriotic Warriors in Delaware, Michigan, Texas or Virginia. Registration is by state and I don’t have time to check the fifty states.

    How can this organization collect “donations” to support Donald J. Trump and not be registered with the FEC​ if it spent more than $5,000 to support him​?

    http://citizensfortrump.com/why-donate/

    Interesting, that portion of the website does not appear to be accessible from the homepage. ​ Why?​

    ​”Citizens for Trump” appears to have operated illegally to influence our presidential election. It isn’t registered with the IRS as a non-profit. What is it?

    • yyyaz

      Hmmm, I hope someone with resources is looking into this. Maddow and/or Mueller in particular.

      • TundraGrifter

        I’ve made a number of attempts to get somebody to investigate. No luck so far. And, yes, I’ve emailed the Rachel Maddow Show.

  • Fancy Meau-Faux

    I think The Joker is going to be mad that The Riddler changed his color scheme from green to purple.

  • Why is Roger Stone always dressed like he’s cosplaying Oswald Cobblepot at a con for self-aggrandizing closet cases?

  • disqus_lWwzrwNaw6

    Back in the day, lots of Koch money was poured into propping up the Bundys via front organizations like American Lands Council, before old Cliven started spewing out racist nonsense that was atrocious even by mainstream Republican standards (that was back in the olden times, before Mad Donald became the Republican president) and the Kochs and their friends all scuttered to hide under the nearest rock.

    The emergence of Roger Stone in this context suggests that maybe the delusional billionaire Robert Mercer is making his own move on the land grab movement. Stone is a Mercer man.

    Mercer, of course, is the man who–together with his equally unhinged daughter Rebekah–has been fighting a proxy war with Charles Koch for the title of Emperor of All the Americas, or whatever. The Mercers own the president, Cambridge Analytica, and Breitbart, Koch owns Congress and a big chunk of the Supreme Court, and they’ve each got a slice of the current Cabinet.

    • Paperless Tiger

      That explains everything.

      • mailman27

        Sadly.

    • Shartiblartfat

      Tell me again, what’s the difference between a land grab and a land snatch? Something to do with pussies, perhaps? Somebody please stop me!

  • Ωbjectifier

    I don’t think any of the Bundy boys are interested in playing Brokeback with you Roger.

  • Katey Brannum

    Becky Warren Lyrics, “Stale cliches wearing cowboy hats
    Line the streets tonight like needle tracks”

  • Katey Brannum

    And then the singing children ran away from home because of terrible abuse.

  • kittygrrl

    Maybe if we’re lucky there will be a shooting mishap as Bundy shows off his weapon it goes off and shoots Stone in the head. Or perhaps the other way around. Either way it’s a win.

  • SeeTrain65

    This is the oppressive and of a military jackbooted government that has lost all sense of law and morality

    “After all, oppression and military jackbooting are OUR JOBS!”

  • psychobroad

    Why don’t people dissolve in helpless laughter when they see this clown?

  • Relativicus

    Oh, look, Roger Stone got people to talk about Roger Stone again, again.

  • Zyxomma

    Oh, FFS. Thanks, killer.

  • With any luck, Trump’s new EPA guy will ok all that drilling out there and then there won’t be any grass for any cattle! Or clean drinking water. Or…..

  • AngryNotSoOldHippy .

    Mormon shitting Christianic terrorists, is what these fucking right wing shit hole Republicans are.

  • mary5920

    Heard also that papa Bundy didn’t actually take care of those cattle that he’s illegally grazing on Federal land. When he wants to butcher one of those ill fed cows, he takes it & butchers it; otherwise, they’re on their own.
    He’s a free loader.

Previous articleTrump ‘Made In America’ Event Uncontaminated By Trump-Branded Crap
Next articleMaster-Dealmaker Trump Loses Healthcare Negotiations To REPUBLICANS. Let’s Watch! :D