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Well isn’t this the most pitiful little thing you’ve ever seen?

Trump made history when he became the biggest popular vote loser ever to squeak out an Electoral College win. He has continued to make history by consistently having the most hilariously low approval ratings of all time. And right now, as we are about to hit the six month mark of the Trump presidency (we are 1/8 of the way through his term, WE CAN DO THIS!), is no exception. A handful of new polls are out, and they all show that Trump is slightly less popular than sautéed wombat anal warts.

Now, Trump thinks “almost 40% is not bad at this time,” but much like when he tries to puff up his sad “win” by saying it’s nigh impossible for Republicans to win the Electoral College, due to how it is #rigged against them, the opposite is true. Trump’s approval rating in a new ABC News/Washington Post poll is a laughable 36%. In the same poll, around the same time in their presidencies, both George W. Bush and Barack H. Obama had approval ratings of 59%.

But regardless, how sad! And weak! And LOL! He’s literally saying he’s proud of an approval rating of “almost 40%”? Poor thing must have done so much winning he actually got tired of winning!

It’s even worse when you look at how many people are REALLY with him, as WaPo explains that both overall, and by specific metrics, it’s really “no more than 1 in 4 Americans [who] believe passionately in him or his presidency at this juncture.” His “strong approval” number is indeed exactly 25%. According to the poll, 24% think he’s presidential, 24% think his Twitter use is a good thing, 26% think it’s cool for Dipshit Junior to have Russian conspiracy meetings in Trump Tower and 24% are excited for the GOP to murder them with TrumpCare. MAN, one out of four Americans are IDIOTS.

Meanwhile, Trump’s “strong disapproval” number is at 48% — Bill Clinton and Barack Obama never fell that far, even when Bill Clinton was staining blue dresses and Obama was doing whatever “scandal” wingnuts believe he did — with an overall disapproval rating of 58%. (Who are those 10% of voters, who are like “Meh he’s not great, but I don’t hate him”? Please bring them to us so that we may swat them on the fanny.)

The WaPo notes that another lie in Trump’s tweet is when he says the WaPo/ABC poll was “just about the most inaccurate around election time.” Specifically, their final poll “was well within the sampling error and correctly showed Clinton ahead in the national popular vote.” As in, their poll was correct.

Other polls that have come out in the past few days show similarly bad numbers, with Gallup at 38, Bloomberg at 40, and Rasmussen, the shitty polling company that does shitty polling to make it look like Republicans are more popular than they are, at 43.

A new NBC/Wall Street Journal poll also has bad news for President Sad Panties. It specifically looked at the “Trump counties,” i.e. the ones that made the difference in giving him his negative three million popular vote victory. It finds that overall, 50% of people in these Trump counties still support him — which is kind of weak and sad for somebody who so recently won them, honestly? — but it separates those counties into two categories. There are the “surge” counties, the ones where Trump did WAY better than Mitt Romney in 2012, on account of racists who hadn’t voted in one million years taking their first baths in one million years so they could go vote for the xenophobic racist. Then there are the “flip” counties, where Bamz won in 2012, but Trump flipped them. Trump’s numbers have slipped in both:

In the Trump “surge counties” … 56 percent of residents approve of the president’s job performance.

Trump beat Hillary Clinton in these “surge” areas nationwide by a combined 65 percent-to-29 percent margin in 2016.

But in the “flip counties” … Trump’s job rating stands at just 44 percent.

Trump won these “flip” areas overall in 2016, 51 percent to 43 percent.

Guess not ALL Trump voters are fucking hopeless grundle rashes from hell. Thank God!

Anyway, good job, Donald! You should be very proud of that 36% approval rating! It is normal sized just like your hands!

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[Washington Post / NBC]

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  • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

    ‘Modern Day Presidential’ really isn’t working for Trump…

    All of those numbers make a very simple point: For all of Trump’s scapegoating of the mainstream media, he has only one person to blame for his current dismal poll standing: himself.

    Trump is his own worst political enemy. He repeatedly ignores the advice of lawyers, advisers and even family members when it comes to how he needs to act, talk and tweet. He refuses to change or, short of that, even adjust.
    http://www.cnn.com/2017/07/17/politics/trump-presidential-twitter/index.html

  • Jennaratrix

    MAN, one out of four Americans are IDIOTS.

    Not news to the other 3 out of 4 of us.

    • Ill-Advised

      And the three of us are so quiet, relative to the other one, who has more votes than we do. New math?

  • OneYieldRegular

    Donald Trump is about a) using his position to augment the Trump family fortune; b) destroying everything accomplished by Barack Obama; and c) making America into the world’s largest company store. If he can do these things, why should he care about his lack of popular support, which he is constitutionally incapable of recognizing anyway?

  • Nyumbu

    It’s gotta drive 45 up the wall whenever he sees a photo of Obama that shows his hands. I mean, those are some long fingers!

  • Bub, Zombie in mourning

    Wtf? You claim that an abysmal poll number is “not bad,” then promptly attack the veracity of that same poll, vitiating your own comment? What a fucking dimwit. Hell, I just flushed something smarter than the sitting president of the United States.

    • Weird Fishes

      It probably had bigger hands, too.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Where Trump really differs from Obama is that his approval leans more heavily on strong backers. Obama’s average “strong” approval was 28 percent during his presidency, not much different than Trump today. But Obama averaged 21 percent “somewhat” approval, 10 points higher than Trump.

    So everyone who is not completely batshit sees through Donald. That’s something…

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/0c38ea987c81534676eb574e512735226fa040138f39af4b5e2fc2e07518992b.jpg

  • Ryan Denniston

    “The WaPo notes that another lie in Trump’s tweet is when he says the WaPo/ABC poll was “just about the most inaccurate around election time.””

    What a maroon! Provided the poll is consistent over time, the drooping, shriveling, downward trend is there, even if we are debating how flaccid he is at the moment.

  • Jgb979

    40% is worse than Obama or Clinton got in 8 years.

    YOUGLY BIGLY terrible.

    • Lascauxcaveman

      And the first six months of a presidency is considered the “honeymoon” period, where folks are generally willing to cut the new prez some slack.

      If this is the honeymoon, that 40% indicates we’re looking at a pretty nasty divorce coming up.

      • FlownΩver

        Is this the point at which Two Scoops suggests a threeway (say, with Vlad – sure, why not) to “put the magic back in the relationship” and blows any possibility a comeback?

  • (((fka_donnie_d)))

    What is it with this guy and the election (which he says he “won”)? Is he ever going to get around to actually governing some shit?

    • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

      Governing is work. So no.

    • Thiazin Red

      I’m happy for him not to govern based on what he says he wants.

    • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

      I think Putin’s plan was for him to do nothing and let chaos ensue, so, no.

    • I hope not.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    27 percent think “America’s leadership in the world has gotten stronger” under Trump.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/d4e0c2ef65c956d7ca460a095af54a0f18a51793a4a955691a46bbb5c49e71f2.jpg

  • schmannity

    Trump thought he could improve his poll numbers by going to Poland.

    • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

      Say, you know who else thought invading Poland would make him more popular with his supporters?

      • schmannity

        George Gallup?

        • laughingnome

          Trump: George Gallup was a horse, right?

          • Querolous

            Are you thinking of Gish Gallop?

      • Pope John Paul?

      • janecita

        Stalin?

    • He could improve his poll numbers by staying in Poland. (I know, I am sidestepping the point of your pun, but my statement is still true, though not as witty as yours.)

  • theblackdog

    And yet these supporters are upset that their liberal friends want nothing to do with them anymore. Can ya blame us?!?!?!

    • Friend of mine was at a wedding this weekend, was all set to go home with a guy until he said that he didn’t think Dampnut was “that bad”.

      • theblackdog

        I’m actually a little disappointed my brother voted 3rd party. I can’t entirely fault him because he lives in TX so any non-Trump vote would have counted but damn.

    • grindstone

      I have really and truly considered changing hair stylists because the lady who has kept me well red for years voted for Drumpf: “let’s see what he can do”.

  • William
  • Baconzgood

    36% is NOT “almost 40%” Donny. It’s 36%

    • Ryan Denniston

      It’s also almost 30, which is where he’ll be in a few weeks.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Trump said his 36 percent approval rating – which he rounded up to 40 percent – “is not bad at this time.”

    LOL, a higher percentage of Americans believe that extraterrestrials have visited us FFS. But keep telling yourself that, Donald!

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/dbb75b3431fd1ed9535757f2bd00fc8cde7bff3507cac2bb3748a851e2273fb2.gif

  • Trump may be the first president with a larger waist size than approval rating.

    • shastakoala

      He’ll say it’s just padding like these new polling numbers.

  • William
    • shastakoala

      Trump’s winning!

      • AnnieGetYerFun

        Well, he is a doddering old fool, and I think the only game he plays is golf. So I can kind of see where the lowest score might seem like his best bet.

        • That would mean he is winning the presidential IQ game as well.

          • AnnieGetYerFun

            Easily 7 under par.

          • Ill-Advised

            Oh, I’m sure he’s better than that! Twenty under par, at least!

    • schmannity

      USA/TRUMP NUMBER 1!!

      • FlownΩver

        That’s the Russian hooker sentiment no?

    • See? I has accomplished things more quickly than any administration in history!

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      That made me say “Wow” out loud. That is some kind of amazing, really. Tells you how much he was hated before he even took office, doesn’t it? A man with any shame would resign. If we were European he’d already have been out on his fat orange ass months ago.

  • Weird Fishes

    It’s like an F+!

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    The country may seem hopelessly divided, but the people who strongly approve and disapprove of Trump have something in common: When asked what they love or hate most about the president, 12 percent of strong approvers and 14 percent of strong disapprovers volunteered “everything.”

    http://media.giphy.com/media/24wIEVaREhyBG/giphy.gif

    • SisterArtemis

      ok, not to nit pick, but isn’t Ru saying “mutha FUCK?”

  • schmannity

    If 36% were a TV rating, which is the only thing important to Trump, he’d be sleeping with My Mother The Car.

  • AnnieGetYerFun

    “A handful of new polls are out, and they all show that Trump is slightly less popular than sautéed wombat anal warts.”

    Well, yeah, if you sautée them, sure. But if you compare Trump to raw wombat anal warts, then his approval rating is, like, way higher.

  • Ellen D.

    A handful of new polls are out, and they all show that Trump is slightly less popular than sautéed wombat anal warts.

    I prefer mine poached, is all I’m saying.

    • janecita

      Your wombats or your anal warts?

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      Wolf nipple chips! Larks’ tongues! Otters’ noses! Ocelot spleens!

      • Ellen D.

        Sequentially: Deep fried and lightly sprinkled with Himalayan salt. Braised in a dry white wine. Oh those are best served raw with a slice of preserved lemon. Hmmm… ah now we are in unfamiliar territory, I must research this one….

        • FlownΩver

          Just slather ketchup on them.

  • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

    “MAN, one out of four Americans are IDIOTS.”

    Ayup. South Park has a great line about this…but I have a job interview this afternoon and need to get ready!

    ; )

    • janecita

      Good Luck! Sending good vibes your way!

      • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

        thanks!

    • If it is a woman remember to tell she looks really healthy, just beautiful. (Srsly, I hope it goes really well)

      • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

        thanks V!

    • starfanglednut

      Knock ’em dead!

      • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

        thanks!

    • Ill-Advised

      How’d you do? I had one on Friday….still hopeful!

  • kindness

    OMG, Trump’s tiny little soldier has turtle factor 24/7. Why the rest of us now have to deal with Trumps angry denial and deflated ego because of this makes me question God’s sense of humor. She’s a good God, most of the time. This time? Not so much.

  • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

    Well, about 27% of those are the hard-core, never will be moved Republican base who would vote for Satan if he promised to go after “the liberals”. I’m gonna guess the other 9% are the rich folks waiting for their sweet, sweet tax cut.

  • You can find 25% of Americans who will approve of anything. I blame stupid people for breeding.

    • AnnieGetYerFun

      You can’t blame them! They don’t know how girl get pragnet!

      • OutOfOrbit

        “Lestuh, I juss caint see how our Sissy-Beth got pragnut alreedy, she nevuh ben alone wit’ a single boy!”
        “Wutz boyz got ta do wi’it:?”

  • SomeBigRedDog

    Hey guys, math is hard!

    • FlownΩver

      “Unlike my husband”

      – Melon

  • La forza del resistino

    And Donald wonders what happened. He got a great reception from the Poles 2 weeks ago.

    • Bub, Zombie in mourning

      Donnie loves those paid crowds. Like the one when he announced his candidacy.

      • La forza del resistino

        In his world, we are all uncredited extras in his show.

  • SomeBigRedDog

    Like what does that % thingy even mean? Looks like crooked boobs to me.

    • “Call a plastic surgeon!” – Any and all of the Trumps

    • SomeBigRedDog

      Or are those tiny zeros? They must have meant 4000%!

  • Michael R
    • Hey, Monday is bad enough without that.

    • SomeBigRedDog

      This is medically accurate!

    • janecita

      Ewwwwwww

    • Dr. Rrrrrobotnik

      It’s missing the right wing fever swamp starting point that Fox transforms into dogma, but otherwise accurate.

    • Upfisted for its simple and effective imagery.

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      IMO the figures are out of order; it seems to me more like “Twitler thinks of something, he tweets it, Faux reports it, the rubes start repeating it, Twitler announces triumphantly that he was right.”

      • Msgr_MΩment

        FauxNoise and Twitler form a hermetic daisy chain in and of themselves.

  • JMP

    “It specifically looked at the “Trump counties,” i.e. the ones that made the difference in giving him his negative three million popular vote victory”

    These are also the counties where most people’s parents are brother and sister, and where casual rape of farm animals is considered perfectly normal.

  • Me not sure

    The top one percent, on the other hand, couldn’t care less one way or the other about whether Trump is the President or not because the majority in Congress is bought and paid for and knows better than to fuck them over.

    • Bub, Zombie in mourning

      The top 1%. The only percentage that matters to the GOP.

      • Me not sure

        …and the bottom 90% of the top 1% should watch their backs if the top 10% of the top 1% get just a tad more money.

    • SisterArtemis

      Their only problem is figuring out how to manage Trump. I would guess he’s a real pain in the ass for them.

  • The Wanderer

    Sauteed wombat anal warts aren’t bad, paired with sauteed fiddleheads, garlic gnocchi and a robust Cabernet.

  • IdiokraticDrumpfenResistance

    OT: Trump to holocaust butterflies, other critters, with border wall. https://thinkprogress.org/trump-border-wall-wildlife-refuge-1e9427af7c7f

    • Vecchioivan

      So they couldn’t find any sacred Native American burial grounds to start on?

    • Dr. Rrrrrobotnik

      If it’s any consolation, the wall is as not-happening as “fetch” or that one time Wonket tried to make “just cold [X]-ing” happen.

    • jesterpunk

      But the wall will be transparent with solar panels on it and only be about 700 miles (with 600 miles already built) and Mexico will pay us back once we send them the mail in rebate and wait 4-8 years.

      • FlownΩver

        Donnie will forget to send the original UPC with the rebate form. Sad.

  • Picabo
    • La forza del resistino

      Boys, looks like you left your golf bags back at the clubhouse.

    • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

      Can we get some new thinkpieces? These “let’s go talk to idiots to confirm they’re still idiots” ones are getting a bit thin.

    • therblig

      they really think that they’re insulated from the federal government, but i bet that dairy farmer will be the first to bitch if milk prices decline.

      • starfanglednut

        Or they lose their subsidies.

  • TX Dept. of Space Tacos
    • Shorter Dampnut: Most people would break the law, like I do all the time, to gain an advantage against their opponent. I say this because I only know terrible people.

      • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

        He says this because he believes it because he is a narcissist and incapable of processing shame, so he has to think everybody else is as bad or worse than himself.

        • JMP

          It’s a continuation of those religious folks who think fear of hell is necessary to keep us from murdering all over the place, or those MRA idiots who screech “virtue signalling” and “white knighting” at feminist men out of the assumption all other men really hate women just like they do and only pretend to support equal rights in order to have sex.

        • shivaskeeper

          He says because his base on the right and the purity ponies on the left will believe it. Everyone knows politicians lie all the time, so it just confirms what they already know.

    • Original draft of tweet:
      At least 40% of politicians would have gone to a meeting like the one Don jr attended in order to get info on an opponent. See everyone does it!

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      No, Dampnut, “most” politicians wouldn’t do that; only politicians from the Ratfuckers side would do that. Dems, if you recall, had the opportunity when Al Gore’s team received shady info from an unnamed source and they turned it over to the FBI, promptly.

    • Royal Ugly Dude

      That’s politics!

      You misspelled “treason”

    • BackDoorMan

      … now, just hang on a goldarn minute… didn’t Trumpty Dumpty campaign on the whole idea of “I’m not a politician, so it’s not going to be politics as usual, I’m going to shake up the whole old school political regime”… you mean to tell me he was lying the whole time?! I’m… something… no, not shocked… fucking offended… yeah, that’s it.

  • schmannity

    Did I say tired or winning? I meant tired of spinning.

    –Yammering Yam

  • Daniel Hooper

    on account of racists who hadn’t voted in one million years taking their first baths in one million years so they could go vote for the xenophobic racist.

    FAKE NEWS! They didn’t take no government handout of clean water.

  • Crystalclear12

    Is it the same 25% that doesn’t believe in the moon landing or a whole new group of idiots?

    • schmannity

      yes. yes.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      and that the sun revolves around the earth…

      • Querolous

        and that the sun revolves around the flat earth…

  • canes_pugnaces

    I don’t mean to burst any balloons here, but that 36% could still win him re-election. Why? 1) Dems don’t vote in the places they need to; 2) Red meat conservatives do; 3) electoral college; and, 4) Russia.

    • Vecchioivan

      !%#!#

      • canes_pugnaces

        Very good point. They also think aborting fetuses is murder, but bombing kids is a-okay.

        • SCK

          They think the poor don’t pay enough taxes but they pay too many.

          • canes_pugnaces

            Of course, it’s more schizoid than that, because poor people vote to pay more taxes so their boss doesn’t pay any.

          • grindstone

            And that distribution of wealth would hurt them instead of help them.

        • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

          They don’t, actually, they just want to control, punish, and abuse women by accusing them of murder.

    • Dr. Rrrrrobotnik

      That, and 35% of people is about the same as liked Trump during the election. It doesn’t make any allowance for Republicans who don’t like him, but will still vote for him against the Democrats because of legislation/judges/taxes/whatever thin reed of justification they cling to.

      • canes_pugnaces

        Yup!

    • Gayer Than Thou

      The Aristocrats!

  • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨
    • BearGHAZI

      We really do deserve a better class of criminal

    • Alt-dog

      OMG that is effing perfect. Eat your heart out Heath Ledger, no one can surpass Trump’s portrayal of a raging sociopath.

  • stankbait

    The most inaccurate poll is that of many men and their claim of six inches.
    Who are they going to satisfy with that besides themselves?

  • Good_Gawd_Yall

    There is some actual good news for Twitler in polling news: there are no left-slanted polling groups to rival Rasmussen. The lefty polls sample both parties alike. If we stacked the deck like they do, his approval rating would be around 15%, if that.

  • SCK

    Please, please don’t encourage him to unzip his pants in public. My old crazy uncle once overheard someone say that he “might” do it… and took that as encouragement. And he did, and showed it to us all. You know Trump is going to do the same. I really don’t want to confirm what I already know from the size of his hands.

    • jesterpunk

      He almost offered to during the Republican primaries.

    • SisterArtemis

      Thing is, dropping his trousers is not even close to the most awful, embarrassing, nauseating things about him. Just seems sort of on the level of “meh, that idiot again”… sad… weak…

    • “See, almost 40 millimetres! Not bad, right?”
      – Dampnut bragging about his “pole numbers”

    • starfanglednut

      Doubt we’ll be able to see it under that roll of fat.

      Welp, off to buy brain bleach!

    • artem1s

      might be the only thing that….nope, that 24% will still support him :P

  • bookish

    http://nbcnews.to/2uBdxpm

    President Donald Trump must release certain records of visitors to his Mar-a-Lago resort in southern Florida by early September, a federal judge ruled late Friday in a suit filed by a prominent government watchdog group.

    Citizens for Responsibility and Ethics in Washington (CREW) announced Monday that the judge had ruled the Secret Service must turn over the records as part of an ongoing suit the group brought against the Department of Homeland Security earlier this year.

    “The Secret Service will complete its search for and processing of ‘responsive records of presidential visitors at Mar-a-Lago,’ and produce any non-exempt responsive records, by September 8, 2017,” the two-page ruling, issued by a U.S. District Court for the Southern District of New York judge, stated.

    • BearGHAZI

      I can read Cyrillic, if help is needed!

  • Randy Riddle

    You know who else thinks 36% is a good approval rating?

    • Anna Rompage

      G W Bush would have killed for 36% at the end of his precedentcy

      • Good thing he didn’t mention that Darth Chaney, or we might have been in third unwinnable war.

    • BearGHAZI

      George W. Bush, after he fucked the country into the dirt?

    • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

      Ann Coulter?

    • Jim QuinnX

      Is it . . . Hitler?

    • A dyslexic person reading it as 63%?

    • Paperless Tiger

      Another idiot?

    • IdiokraticDrumpfenResistance

      Ebola?

    • akita96th

      Or you could say that 64% of Americans think Trump is just another died in the wool shit weazel.

    • Painter of Goats

      A dyslexic?

  • Blackest Noobs

    O/T: Fake Christians

    “If the devil called me and said he wanted to set up a meeting to give me opposition research on my opponent I’d be on the first trolley to hell to get it. And any politician who tells you otherwise is a bald-faced liar,” Fox News’ Judge Jeanine Pirro told her viewers over the weekend.

    Jeanine Pirro is supposedly a practicing Catholic. Funny i do not remember a decree from the Vatican stating how “The Devil” is no longer the prince of darkness. You think a practicing Catholic would have enough faith in their God not to use information from the prince of lies….the only bald-faced liar is Pirro and her faith.

    • jesterpunk

      The Devil responded saying he wants nothing to do with Fox News and wouldn’t meet with them if they where the last creatures in the Universe.

    • BearGHAZI

      Makes a man wonder how many abortions she’s had, and if she’s a lesbian with Huma Abedin

    • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

      For someone who used to be a judge, she doesn’t grok the law very well.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      another honest republican- color me shocked. Someone should ask her why she’s under investigation for illegally trying to wire tapp™ her husband…

    • Martini Ambassador 🍸

      Wait, didn’t I read this AM that she’s in trouble for trying to illegally wire-“tapp” her cheating husband? Yeah, she’s a real paragon of virtue, that one.

    • Dr. Rrrrrobotnik

      She’s almost literally admitting that there is no depth to which she would not sink to win, and then projects it onto every other politician, of any stripe.

      Well, if you want a distillation of contemporary Republican attitudes towards “winning”, there you have it.

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      You know what, “judge”? Al Gore was a politician when he was given sketchy info that might have been about Bush. He turned it over to the FBI. So, no – “any politician” is NOT a “bald-faced liar.” Only Repukes, so far, have proven that they would suck off the devil to win an election. But hey, we know lengthy exposure to the toxic swamp of Faux Gnus has probably had a deleterious effect on your brain cells, so thanks for playing, and you might want to get yourself checked at the nearest clinic.

    • Wouldn’t be easier to send some tickets for a Delta flight to Anne Coulter? Why go to the devil when she can come to you?

    • Lance Thrustwell

      Oh, you know what she means! She’s just saying she has no standards or ethics, not anything bad!

      Jeez.

      • Bebecca

        Just like all her colleagues at Fox News.

        • Khavrinen

          Well, you know, company policy, and all that…

    • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

      “Those fucking fox people are shady as fuck. I wouldn’t trust them with facts, much less shit I made up.”
      -Satan

  • BearGHAZI

    Art becomes reality. Or at least alt-reality

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d7lxwFEB6FI

    • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

      this is the clip i was thinking of downthread!

      Thanks for posting, it’s brilliant.

    • Persistent Tennessee Rain

      I realize the South Park crew are known for being irreverent, but the “r”-word, in all it’s forms is never appropriate. :-(

      • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

        I put bread dough in the frig overnight to “retard.” Legal, legal, legal, it’s fancy-ass French!

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸
    • schmannity

      Nixon. RINO.

  • Bub, Zombie in mourning
  • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

    The Wonkette/Center for American Made Shit online poal:

    https://goo.gl/forms/phapvBp0ZmOYE0uF3

    • I put that I would like to spend a day with Steve Bannon because I need to practice punching Nazi’s.

      • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

        I was wondering who that was!

      • I put the last one, ’cause I didn’t know who he was…

        • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

          Ben Garrison is the loony cartoonist.

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      Goofy but fun. I violated the reality that “-est” means ultimate by voting for all except McCain as “dumberest.” Sue me. XD

      • artem1s

        same here.

    • Answered!

  • IdiotsforPalin

    I’ve rounded down and Dump’s approval rating is 12%

    • Still higher than Palin’s?

      • IdiotsforPalin

        The Wasilla Methwhore runs about 3%, about the same as her baby machine daughter, Brisket.

  • AJ Milne

    ‘… slightly less popular than sautéed wombat anal warts…’

    Sautéed wombat anal warts 2020.

    • Alt-dog

      Evan really has a way with words!

  • Zippy W Pinhead

    That 36% is why we can’t have nice things…

    • TJ Barke

      That and the additional slightly less awful 15 to 20ish% that also vote republican.

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸
    • Holy crap…

    • Persistent Tennessee Rain

      Jesus Hussein Christ. What a bunch of fucking morons.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      The Maths is hard.

      If you stiff six hookers by 17k each,…..

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      I really have no tolerance for watching any member of that crime family do anything, so I’m just going to assert that once we got above “2×2” they started to run into difficulties. It is now true, because I said it on the internet.

    • BearGHAZI

      Come now! Trump said he has the best WORDS, not the best NUMBERS

      • BackDoorMan

        … and numbers aren’t words, not even when you spell them out like one, two, three, four… because Trump AI (alternative intelligence).

  • Jim QuinnX

    One out of four Americans are in the dumbest 25 percent.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Think of the average dumb American (the average of the lower half in intelligence).

      One in four Americans is dumber than that.

    • Royal Ugly Dude

      That’s the first quartile, right? That’s that bestest quartile!

      • Khavrinen

        You gots a tile that holds a whole quart? But ain’t tiles usually flat? Wait, weren’t we talkin’ about math or somethin’?

    • Lance Thrustwell

      Is that a math joke? ‘cuz that looks, like, axiomatically correct. Maybe I am in that 25%.

  • bookish

    https://www.bloomberg.com/view/articles/2017-07-17/trump-s-lucky-break-on-the-economy

    The one area where the president is making out at least OK, though, is on economic issues. Respondents to the Bloomberg National Poll gave Trump a 47 percent approval rating on “creating jobs” and 46 percent on “the economy.”

    And why shouldn’t they? The U.S. economy isn’t exactly setting records, but it is chugging right along, adding jobs and driving down the unemployment rate. This happens to be exactly what the economy was doing for several years before Trump took office, too — if anything, job creation seems to have downshifted ever so slightly since January. But on the whole, things look better than they have at any time since the onset of the last recession in 2008. 1

    Are these good times really Trump’s doing? Mostly not, given that he has no significant legislative accomplishments, and economic momentum doesn’t seem to have shifted much since he took office. But if one goes on the assumption that poll respondents are simply rating current economic performance (this may be an incorrect assumption, which I’ll get to at the end of this column), his comparatively positive approval rankings on the economy make sense. Trump inherited a moderately healthy economy and hasn’t screwed it up.

    • Dr. Rrrrrobotnik

      I like how that article basically bends over backwards and up into its own ass trying to avoid mentioning Obama or how he might be actually responsible for the relative economic stability. And that Trump almost literally couldn’t screw up the economy this quickly, even if he had any legislative accomplishments, which as they point out he doesn’t.

      • Snark Tank Full of Resistance

        Gotta wait until the tax cuts for the rich are passed….THEN you’ll see the economy go into the shitter. Like it has every time a (R) is put into the White House.

        What also too is surprising is that the same people who were bitching about the economy “chugging right along” at a nice steady pace, and unemployment shrinking month to month when the blah guy was in office are now praising the orange shitgibbon (who hasn’t done shit about the economy) for the same thing.

        I really hate hypocrisy.

        • yyyaz

          If the ACA repeal gets passed, by this time next year the beginning of the real Great Depression will just begin to get rolling downhill.

      • akita96th

        1 in 4 Americans love to eat the daily droppings of greasy shit nuggets that fall out of trumps grease trap of a mouth… And his army of turd polishers who are in a constant rush to shine his shit up and make it look presentable to the public…But 3 out of 4 Americans flick those turds in the toilet..where the 1 out of 4 has to swallow them down in a feeding frenzy going ummm yummmz can we have another one.

        • BackDoorMan

          … the S.C.A.T Brigade… Scared Crazy American Trumpanzees. After all, their Dear Leader said it was alright to coprophilia whenever you wanted to.

  • Lance Thrustwell

    The Sad Thing (one of many) is that if Trump started acting more superficially ‘Presidential’, i.e. cut out the stupid tweets, started giving more advisor-approved speeches and answers to reporters, etc., his numbers might rise to above 50% without him having to change a damn thing about his poor-screwing, planet-destroying agenda.

    Because people are stupid. And I am NOT a bitter old emu dammit, shaddup.

    • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

      Well, it’s like Hitler’s insanity making him refuse to send the Panzers to the Normandy coast, as well as refusing to believe or prepare for an invasion anywhere else than Calais, which just barely allowed us to eke out a win on D-Day. Thank God that these deranged maniacs are deranged maniacs.

      • BoatOfVelociraptors

        We despise them because they are delusional and arrogant, but that may be our saving grace…

        • yyyaz

          There won’t be a Marshall Plan available for us when this one and his wrecking crew are gone, though.

      • Dr. Rrrrrobotnik

        Not to be pedantic, but the German commanders didn’t send the panzers to the coast because of the Allied armada and its very big, very scary guns, along with the absolute clouds of Allied planes that opened up panzer divisions like soup cans.

        That said, it’s a valid point that all the wise counsel in the world goes for naught if the person in the driver’s seat has a mania for reinforcing and doubling down on failure.

        • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

          They didn’t know about the Allied armada or the Allied planes–the attacks was a surprise. Hitler’s generals had anticipated it and asked for Panzer reinforcements, but Hitler refused to move them from the Eastern front. Hitler also refused to believe that the Allies would invade at Normandy, and insisted on making plans for an invasion at Calais. Also, the Germans weren’t in the least intimidated by the invasion, but bombed and machinegunned the shit out of us, and the Allies only barely, barely won the day. Their problem was the lack of Panzers and lack of planning for air support–which stemmed from Hitler’s miscalculations and insane misbeliefs.

          • Dr. Rrrrrobotnik

            I don’t believe that’s the read most historians take from it. The Germans were, by 1944, well-aware of the crushing superiority of the Allies in the air and on the sea; the only way they saw to beat the Allies would be to throw them back on the beaches, though there was disagreement amongst themselves as to how tanks should be used in repulsing such an invasion (immediate opportunistic commitment on the beaches vs. massed counterattack further inland). The Germans believed the landings would be at Calais, as you say, but only because they vastly overestimated Allied resources and army size: they believed that the landing at Normandy, large as it was, was a feint for the primary landing at Calais.

            And I would point out, D-Day was nowhere near as close-run as you say. Only Omaha and Juno had really determined resistance: Gold, Sword, and especially Utah beaches were taken almost easily. Overall Allied casualties for the day was 10,000, a price the Red Army would have considered trifling for taking accomplishing a strategic objective. The German army in 1944, in all likelihood, didn’t have the manpower or resources to throw back the Allies no matter what they did.

          • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

            I think I’m also differentiating between what the Germans and the German generals accurately estimated, and what Hitler did to essentially undermine them. You make good points! Although, the fact that Stalin was such a brute he was willing to sacrifice 20 million lives, and thus Allied lives lost are trifling in comparison, is a slightly unrelated point. For US it was a pretty big loss. But it’s certainly meaningful, as you say–without the Russian loss of life, again, I’m not sure we would have won.

    • BigCSouthside

      A guy used to being CEO that never has to report to a board of directors and by all accounts runs his business like a 3rd world dictator will never do that. He is the ultimate authority on everything in his own mind. He has never had to collaborate with an equal

  • bookish

    https://www.dailydot.com/layer8/trump-tweets-unpresidential-poll/
    A majority of Americans find President Donald Trump‘s use of Twitter “inappropriate,” “insulting,” and “dangerous,” according to a new poll. But a core group of citizens view the president’s social media habits through a purely positive lens.

    A Washington Post/ABC News survey released on Monday found that 68 percent view Trump’s tweets as “inappropriate,” 65 percent say they’re “insulting,” and 52 percent find them “dangerous.” Although 41 percent say the president’s tweets are “interesting,” just 21 percent find them “refreshing.”

    http://www.cnn.com/2017/07/17/politics/trump-presidential-twitter/index.html

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Fun fact: the Allies were going to attack along the French Riviera, but it was June and everything was booked.

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      I would say nearly 100% of that 21% are jizzing themselves with glee because he “pisses off the libtards,” so their opinions are irrelevant.(And dammit, Disqus, when I write the j-word I DON”T mean “jazzing”.)

    • Painter of Goats

      Refreshing? Really? That can only be fools who are tickled because someone in power finally speaks their language.

      • Snark Tank Full of Resistance

        Half of those 21% who found them “refreshing” changed their answer when they found out it wasn’t a parody account.

    • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

      Tornados are “interesting”. From a distance. When you’re in their path…not so much.

      • akita96th

        Trump tweets are like cyber farts…common yet smelly.

    • BearGHAZI

      Why not? My morning covfefe is pretty refreshing

  • elviouslyqueer

    President Sad Panties is about two seconds away from being my new drag name.

    • jesterpunk

      I was going to use that for my jazz fusion band name.

      • Painter of Goats

        I was going to change my cat’s name to that the next time he gets miffed because I won’t let him keep rubbing his head on my mouse hand.

        • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

          How dare you stop letting him rub his royal head on your mouse hand! That head isn’t going to rub itself!

        • BeachBum

          Whoa ! Needs moar “Hey Cotana” and kitty rubbing !

  • Gee, Your Hair Smells Horrific

    Reminds me of high school at the dinner table . . .
    “My English paper? Uh, I got a D- but that’s not so bad, and anyways Mrs. Todd is a hard grader.”

    • Mormos

      see, you should have said, “almost a C.”

    • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

      “And Hillary only got an A because she CHEATED”

    • BeachBum

      Lately my go to line for poor academics is ” No big deal. We need people to stock shelves at Wal Mart, clean the bathrooms at McDoodys, pick grapes in 100 degree temp. Lots of jobs where you need no educshun much less Eenglash !

  • BeachBum

    OT Der Turpentien IS actually creating jobs ! Yes, of course I am shocked ! Besides of course the boom in the legal services industry, actual working labour jobs ! Umm, just not for Americans. Who knew we had a global economy ?!https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/wonk/wp/2017/07/17/trump-officials-order-15000-new-visas-for-low-wage-workers/?utm_term=.8e5d02b9af91

  • IdiokraticDrumpfenResistance

    Twenty-five percent, the “some of the people, all of the time,” Lincoln was alluding to.

    • Beanz&Berryz

      And PT Barnum

  • Joe Beese
    • http://i.imgur.com/v6GQvO3.gif

      More people need to start using the actual word “lie” (or, lying in this case…)

      • BearGHAZI

        Did you check Meet the Press yesterday? Doris Kearns Goodwin used the no-no word, and Chuck Todd was so taken aback that he had to pivot meekly

        • I did not, but perhaps I shall check it out!

        • Skeptical_thinker

          DKG is a badass with no fucks left to give.

  • Scooby

    Maybe Trump supporters are dyslexic and think his approval is 63%.

  • SayItWithWookies

    Thirty-six percent is huge — why, Assmouth would love it if he’d been able to book 36 percent of his hotel rooms.

  • Crack_A_Toe_Ah

    “Sautéed wombat anal warts” = Wombat libel!

    Wombats are cute.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oQ5M98JpJ2Y

    • Lance Thrustwell

      Hedgehog teddy bear panda raccoon pig!

    • P’jama Pahnts

      They seem like they’d be bitey

      • Yr. Gma

        If someone comes along examining your anus for warts, you’d be bitey, too.

    • SomeBigRedDog

      PUPPIES!

  • Beanz&Berryz

    The pic for this thread looks like T is set to give himself a BJ.

  • Joe Beese

    Well, Trump is doing better than Obama in something.

    Airwars researchers estimate that at least 2,300 civilians likely died from Coalition strikes overseen by the Obama White House—roughly 80 each month in Iraq and Syria. As of July 13, more than 2,200 additional civilians appear to have been killed by Coalition raids since Trump was inaugurated—upwards of 360 per month, or 12 or more civilians killed for every single day of his administration.”

    http://nymag.com/daily/intelligencer/2017/07/u-s-air-strikes-are-killing-far-more-civilians-under-trump.html

    • Résistance Land Shark Ω

      #MAGA! ‘Murrica! FUCK YEAH!

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      This reminds me of the time I figured up how many Jews died each day during WW2; it worked out to almost 2740 every single day if you assume 6 years of war. It’s just inhuman, and WTF are we even doing in Syria anyway? Were we not supposed to be helping the citizens fight against Assad? Is it “helping” if you kill them?

      • BigCSouthside

        Syria is a cesspool. It’s hard to pick sides. Assads move to empty the prisons of extremists was pretty evil genius-y

        • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

          We are used to thinking in terms of “Empire and Rebel Alliance” and not Eat Your Enemies Heart Live On YouTube or Kill Your Entire Family Including ThePregnant Women Over An 800 Year Old Grudge or Make 1200 AD Islam Great Again.

    • BigCSouthside

      For all the drone talk with obama, when it comes to fighting asymmetrical warfare, they are better than bombing the shit out of large areas conventionally

    • TJ Barke

      It just wouldn’t be a republican administration without thousands more civilians killed in airstrikes.

    • BeachBum

      In the Oldyen Tymes, we called that the “winning of hearts and minds.”

  • Yr. Gma

    Do wombats even have anal warts? I so, they must be very small. It would take many infected wombats to provide the ingredients for just one serving of sauteed wombat anal warts, making it, perforce, a delicacy. They probably just douse the whole dish with ketchup at the White House, anyway.

    • Résistance Land Shark Ω

      I wonder what the White House chef does all day? She/he must be bored ordering in KFC and McDonalds ….

    • AJ Milne

      I’m finding surprisingly few recipes for this online.

      • chimpevil

        Be creative. Whenever a recipe calls for “capers” (whatever those are), just substitute sauteed wombat anal warts. Adds that extra zing to the family meal every time.

    • Snark Tank Full of Resistance

      A delicacy….Kinda like those coffee beans that ferment inside of civet cats.

      • BeachBum

        I though they were monkeys.

    • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

      They use fake wombat anal warts since the ASPCA publicized the unethical infection of innocent wombats with the anal wart virus to increase yields; usually they just harvest grass clippings and call it wombat anal warts.

      • Panika MCD

        is PETA going to sue Wonkette for libeling wombats?

      • Yr. Gma

        Vegan wombat anal warts?

        • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

          Damn you, Granny, I literally was writing the same thing when I saw your reply appear!

          • Yr. Gma

            Great minds.

          • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

            Great Grannies

        • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

          YES! Bonus round…can wombat anal warts yodel?

          • BackDoorMan

            … yes, but off-key only, sadly.

    • Panika MCD

      they have tough rumps and cube-shaped poop. it’s probably the cube-shaped poop that does it.

      https://www.wired.com/2014/12/creature-feature-10-fun-facts-wombats/

      also too: you know that at least a few of them have gotten high and slept with a koala who has chlamydia.

      • kareemachan

        ..

  • Zippy W Pinhead

    This will surely help his poll numbers, lol. The guy whose ties are made in China, shirts are made in Mexico, marriage is made in Slovenia and presidential campaign was made in Russia and whose daughter’s entire clothing line is made in Bangladesh and Indonesia has declared that this is “made in America” week…

    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/donald-trump-made-in-america_us_596c391ce4b03389bb1878e1?ncid=engmodushpmg00000003

    • Panika MCD

      well, he invaded those countries with his and his daughter’s businesses already, so they’re part of “Trump’s America”, right?

      why are people calling it “Trump’s America” anyway? do we really need to sing “This Land Is Your Land” a million more times?

      • BeachBum

        Yes, it does look like we do.

        • Panika MCD

          but I don’t wanna. they always segue into “Kumbaya”!

          • BeachBum

            ” How we ever gonna stop the war if you cant get any louder ?! There’s about 300,000 of you fuckers out there, so lemme HEAR YA’ !!!

    • akita96th

      Seems the only thing made in Amerca anymore is the endless array of shit weazels and their entourage of turd polishers.

    • efoveks

      Hence the shiny new increase in visas issued for low wage seasonal workers! How do we Make America Great Again? We exploit foreign persons for low wages to work in super crappy jobs.

  • starfanglednut

    I don’t know if this has been said already, but sautéed wombat anal warts libelz!11

  • elviouslyqueer

    Because Brolly Bunny is getting flat out exhausted every time we have a Stupid Shit Pussgrab Did Today/This Morning/In The Last Five Minutes/A Millisecond Ago post, Imma use this instead. Because Goddamn Mildred, obvs.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/1f15c737a42fa214e57331a5b5d704bf616a3da5f6415056cbadf9cba284ffc8.jpg

  • Apple Scruff

    First of all, 36% is a long way from 40% (which still sucks). Second, the fact that he is even commenting at all on a shitty poll? Keep proving us right, dipshit!!!

    • Panika MCD

      it’s true. 36% is much closer to 35%, but if you’re counting in 10s, it’s closer to 40 than 30! maybe he’s in favor of switching the the metric system…or would that be too European?

      • Les Appentis De la résistance

        We’ll switch to whatever Russia uses.

        • mancityRed6

          vodka it is, then

      • AJ Milne

        Everything the guy’s ever done is graded on the curve. But it kinda scares me: he’s so reduced expectations now that people are going to start declaring weeks in which he doesn’t run around naked except for a lampshade on his head ‘presidential’…

        He could burn down the White House next week, and the Republicans would be equivocating, trying to argue everyone does that… somehow. And the formerly relatively sane, out of some kind of Stockholm syndrome, would be giving him credit that at least it didn’t spread to the rest of the city…

        He’s like that kid they pass through high school just because they’re relieved that at least he hasn’t murdered any faculty… _this_ year, anyway.

    • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

      So he’s innumerate as well as illiterate. WINNING!

  • TundraGrifter

    Hey, at least President Trump’s ratings are above Abraham Lincoln’s!

    You betcha!

    • clubseal

      Lincoln should have rushed the shooter. Sad!

      • TundraGrifter

        Too soon!

  • SisterArtemis
  • TundraGrifter

    Wasn’t 36% down from 42%? Not only is the trend in the wrong direction (for Mr. Trump), but a decline of 6% is probably at or outside the poll’s MoE. Much of the writing about polls discusses “changes” that don’t exceed the margin of error – making them meaningless.

  • jesterpunk

    Turnip is bring back jobs to America, wait no he is doing the opposite of that. I guess he needs more workers for his properties.

    https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/wonk/wp/2017/07/17/trump-officials-order-15000-new-visas-for-low-wage-workers/?utm_term=.f78aa91809ba

    The Department of Homeland Security on Monday announced a one-time increase of 15,000 additional visas for low-wage, seasonal workers for the remainder of this fiscal year, a seeming about-face from President Trump’s “Hire American” rhetoric, following heavy lobbying from the fisheries, hospitality and other industries that rely on temporary foreign workers.

    The increase represents a 45 percent bump from the number of H-2B visas normally issued for the second half of the fiscal year, said senior Homeland Security officials in a call with reporters Monday.

    The visas are for workers taking temporary jobs in the seafood, tourism, landscaping, construction and other seasonal industries — but not farm laborers.

    • Résistance Land Shark Ω

      They haven’t figured out that the “economically anxious” Americans won’t take those jobs. How can you fix that level of irresponsibility and laziness?

      • yyyaz

        Trainloads of oxy.

        • efoveks

          Ha ha! At first I thought you meant acne cream. I guess that shows my age.

          • Courser_Resistance

            I had to make the quick flip myself! Almost-olds RISE!

      • jesterpunk

        They won’t take those jobs because the pay is shitty, with no benefits and its only for a few months.

      • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

        You mean Trump doesn’t want Trump voters working at his resorts? Aren’t they pretty enough?

    • efoveks

      Are we sure these increases are to help out seasonal hiring, or is this how Trump is going to fill all those government vacancies he has not yet filled?

      Asking for a friend, of course…

      • jesterpunk

        Why not both? He could bring in Russians for a few months and rotate them out when the visa runs out.

  • azeyote

    small hands – smaller minded – smallest ratings –

  • Mehmeisterjr

    Here’s a fun fact. The secret ingredient in a slice of the best chocolate cake in the world: sautéed wombat anal warts

    • DainBramage

      And here I’ve been buying the candied wombat anal warts. Sheesh!

      • Invisible Bunyip

        Just remember to stick with the candied ones if you need to keep kosher.

    • SDGeoff3

      But what about the canned clams?

      • BackDoorMan

        … just don’t buy the ones packed in syrup. That’s eel slime, and it’s impossible to wash off. Or so I’ve heard.

  • bookish

    Tourism, landscaping and construction…hmm.

    https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/wonk/wp/2017/07/17/trump-officials-order-15000-new-visas-for-low-wage-workers/?utm_term=.2067ef53bde9

    The Department of Homeland Security on Monday announced a one-time increase of 15,000 additional visas for low-wage, seasonal workers for the remainder of this fiscal year, a seeming about-face from President Trump’s “Hire American” rhetoric, following heavy lobbying from the fisheries, hospitality and other industries that rely on temporary foreign workers.

    The increase represents a 45 percent bump from the number of H-2B visas normally issued for the second half of the fiscal year, said senior Homeland Security officials in a call with reporters Monday.

    The visas are for workers taking temporary jobs in the seafood, tourism, landscaping, construction and other seasonal industries — but not farm laborers.

    • Old town Urbandale

      “The visas are for workers taking temporary jobs in the seafood, tourism,
      landscaping, construction and other seasonal industries — but not farm
      laborers.”

      They’re saving those back-breaking jobs for the sick and poor since they won’t have Medicaid to fall back on, the lazy slackers.

      • yyyaz

        “Time to ramp up purchases of the corpse harvesters.”
        — Soylent Industries

  • anon_the_great

    Everything that spills out of his greasy KFC hole is an assault on reality.

    • Mondoshawan

      it’s about damn time reality started fighting back in earnest.

      • David Chaillou

        Tu as des horaires étranges. Où es-tu basé?

        • Mondoshawan

          Hello! Yes, that much is true. J’habite à New York.

    • SDGeoff3

      Pardon me as I spurt beer through my nostrils. But that was a rich one!

  • MynameisBlarney
    • Shanzgood

      The next EO will ban “made in” labels.

  • Mormos

    Ladies and gentlemen, “The Aristocrats!”

    • yyyaz

      It was a lot funnier when it was only a joke.

  • Courser_Resistance

    Wombat anal warts were recommended in my Witch’s Cookbook, but they’re a bitch to source and turn everything to shit. OMIT!!

    • BeachBum

      They should be cooked separately with some vinegar. Then add brown sugar. You just want the crunch, not the slime and goo.

      • kareemachan
        • BeachBum

          True story; When I was in the seafood bus, eels came to us frozen with the slime and muck frozen around them as a preservative. We never thawed them out cause it would make the place smell like Mississippi swamp water on a hot and humid day.

          • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

            At first I was trying to picture a bus full of fish and wondering why there would be such a thing.

          • Querolous

            They ran out of bicycles.

          • SDGeoff3

            Tantalizing.

  • natoslug

    What’s the approval rating on flinging that whole grifty family out to the Great Pacific Garbage Patch via trebuchet?

    • Jerry Noneofyourbizz

      Why do you hate the Pacific Ocean?

      • natoslug

        IT KNOWS WHY!!!1!!!

  • DainBramage

    His “strong approval” number is indeed exactly 25%. According to the poll, 24% think he’s presidential, 24% think his Twitter use is a good thing, 26% think it’s cool for Dipshit Junior to have Russian conspiracy meetings in Trump Tower and 24% are excited for the GOP to murder them with TrumpCare.

    So, 25% of the country is irredeemably insane.

    • mancityRed6

      let’s see…chemtrails, fluoride, the belief that the Russians have a machine that controls the weather (oldie but a goodie), Alex Jones, World Net Daily, and Pizza gate.
      if it’s only 25%, I will be happy.

      • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

        That does seem like it should add up to more crazy. Then again, Trump approval can be explained by Crank Magnetism

      • BeachBum

        I would have guessed it to be more also. Then again. I’m old and may be coloured by life’s events.

      • Rags

        also creationism, geocentrism, climate denial, etc.etc.etc.

        • Jerry Noneofyourbizz

          …and I CHOSE to be gay!

          • SDGeoff3

            I had it out with my mother on this topic the other day.

      • SomeBigRedDog

        Don’t forget the child sex slave colony on Mars!

        • mancityRed6

          I keep getting emails about membership…damn that A. Jones!

    • Regret

      I see no reason to assume any significant overlap in those groups.

      /trolling

    • So, 25% of the country is irredeemably insane.

      W left office with 25%, so this is demonstrably true.

      Pretty sure these are the usual suspects.

      ~~~

    • mailman27

      So, fuck ’em.

  • bookish

    https://www.wired.com/story/twitter-ban-donald-trump?google_editors_picks=true

    In truth, it should be a simple conversation. Trump may be good for [Twitter’s] business, but his ability to inspire swarming masses of trolls makes his continued use of the platform dangerous. Twitter has already banned Milo Yiannopoulos, right-wing troll Chuck Johnson, and self-declared “anti-feminist” writer Robert Stacy McCain for abusive behavior. So Twitter’s rules do seem to apply in some cases.

    Just not, apparently, for Trump, who has violated Twitter’s terms of service enough times to get banned–or at least suspended–several times over by now. No, really; we checked.

    • kareemachan

      Remember, many of these “masses of trolls” are fake.

      • whitroth

        Yup. And then there’s something I haven’t done (not being a twit, I don’t tweet), but for the real ones, I understand it’s not hard to find out who they really are. Y’all did read how CNN “DOXXED! OUTED!!!” that jerk who made the Trump vs. CNN gif? They clicked on the user’s reddit pic, then looked on facepalm….

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      It’s also refining the Facist play book. Instead of sending actual mobs of armed thugs out into the streets, you can send virtual mobs. Ridicule your enemies, threaten them, harass them at their jobs, steal their identity and destroy their credit, and force them to shut down their internet presence, which might be their livelihood. Or you can supplement the armed thugs with virtual thugs.

  • BearLeft

    Well, that looks just like a penis, only smaller.

  • Lyly Sirivong

    How the hell can you approve of Don Jr. meeting with Russians ? Oh, it’s because they were conspiring against Hillary, isn’t it ?

    • miss_grundy

      It is incredible that the same political party that gave us Joe McCarthy, who saw Communists everywhere, would now think that it is okay for members of the Trump administration to meet with Russians. I have no respect for Tail Gunner Joe but he must be spinning in his grave.

  • whitroth

    I think he thinks that’s almost 40% disapprove.

  • fawkedifiknow

    We are not a doctor, brain surgeon, or clinical psychologist in real life, or on television, but we can say with confidence that Donald Tump’s brain is a shriveled up, rancid, and beyond “use by” date vestigial organ.

    • TundraGrifter

      Two sizes too small?

      • whitroth

        Has anyone actually seen it? Can we look in one ear, and shine a light in the other?

        • Mondoshawan

          No, can’t have it, not yours. Line of sight occluded with covfefe deposits.

  • bookish

    https://www.nytimes.com/2017/07/17/us/politics/walter-shaub-ethics.html?google_editors_picks=true

    WASHINGTON — Actions by President Trump and his administration have created a historic ethics crisis, the departing head of the Office of Government Ethics said. He called for major changes in federal law to expand the power and reach of the oversight office and combat the threat.

    Walter M. Shaub Jr., who is resigning as the federal government’s top ethics watchdog on Tuesday, said the Trump administration had flouted or directly challenged long-accepted norms in a way that threatened to undermine the United States’ ethical standards, which have been admired around the world.

    “It’s hard for the United States to pursue international anticorruption and ethics initiatives when we’re not even keeping our own side of the street clean. It affects our credibility,” Mr. Shaub said in a two-hour interview this past weekend — a weekend Mr. Trump let the world know he was spending at a family-owned golf club that was being paid to host the U.S. Women’s Open tournament. “I think we are pretty close to a laughingstock at this point.”

    • WotsAllThisThen

      Yeah well I don’t think this administration is going to be pursuing, or even supporting international anticorruption initiatives anyway.

  • William
    • Les Appentis De la résistance

      That was unnecessary.

      • timpundit

        But, brilliant.

      • Le Chapeau

        Told the story.

    • SDGeoff3

      Oh dear.

  • geoffalnutt

    There’s aardvark anal warts pie – a very close second.

    • Alt-dog

      Yeah, but it’s a poor substitute for a beaver’s anal secretions aka “Natural Flavoring”:

      Product ingredient lists often refer to it simply as a “natural flavoring.”

      https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Castoreum#Food_use

      Castoreum (or castor, not to be confused with the oil of a castor bean) is a yellowish-brown, unctuous substance with a strong, penetrating odor which beavers secrete from castor sacs located in skin cavities between the pelvis and the base of the tail and spray when scent-marking their territory. (The location of the beaver’s castor sacs means that castoreum also often includes a mixture of anal gland secretions and urine as well.)

      • Rags

        same with skunks

        • Le Chapeau

          Fun fact: There is absolutely no resemblance between the faint “skunk odor” residue that most people think of as skunk, and the full-on chemical assault that is a dose of the spray up close, and personal. It’s like being clobbered in the sinuses, with a hammer. Certain unfortunate drivers, and owners of stupid dogs, will know exactly what I mean.

      • Le Chapeau

        Castoreum has been traditionally used in Sweden for flavoring schnapps commonly referred to as “Bäverhojt” (literally, beaver shout)

  • BadKitty904
    • SDGeoff3

      This is fabulous. I love calliopes. I’m a classical organist, and when no one’s around and the church is empty I’ve been known to dabble in this. My boss wants me to do it on Sundays.

      • BadKitty904

        It IS fabulous and I agree with your boss – you SHOULD do it on Sundays!

        • SDGeoff3

          I played some Sousa marches on the 4th of July weekend. Went over bigly.

          • BadKitty904

            A charming innovation! I’m sure the congregation appreciated it.

          • SDGeoff3

            Stomped clapped and cheered. Fun times in a Heavy Duty military town. No problems.

          • BadKitty904

            Hey, beats a Stravinsky’s-Rite-of-Spring-style riot…

  • Shibusa
    • Major Lee Pissed ✓ᵛᵉʳᶦᶠᶦᵉᵈ

      That just about sums it up.

      • SDGeoff3

        That’s attractive.

    • Le Chapeau

      That is wrong (RIGHT!) on so many levels.

  • Canis Greyhame

    Really, 1 in 4 Americans believe he’s the greatest president ever, no matter what?

    That’s odd, just yesterday I linked to an NPR article about a recent poll indicating how many Americans seem to think the Sun revolves around the Earth. Guess what the numbers were on that!

    (here it is again) http://www.npr.org/sections/thetwo-way/2014/02/14/277058739/1-in-4-americans-think-the-sun-goes-around-the-earth-survey-says

    • Le Chapeau

      I pre-face-palmed before looking at that. Jebus.

  • Edith Prickly

    Trumpenstein is making stupid face noises on my teevee right now and Pence is hovering behind him with his usual pained “Jesus, look what I’m doing for you” simper on his mug.

    • bookish

      Pence always looks like he has a board up his ass.

      • sgt. jmk of the résistance

        It’s all the fun Mother allows him to have.

  • akryan

    don’t mistake disapproval as an indication that they won’t vote for him again.

    • Komsumverweigerer Ron

      yup. if they were capable of learning from their mistakes, they wouldn’t be republican voters.

    • THIS. They’ve already decided once that Trump was a good choice for anything despite all evidence to the contrary.

      That’s a rut you can’t dig out of.

  • Run2Live
  • The glass is half full. That 36% of Americans is 97% of deplorables. The base is solid.

    • SDGeoff3

      Solid as fossilized rat turds.

  • Pierre_de_Fermat

    Rick Wilson …

    It's made in America week, y'all.Except for all Trump's gimcrack merch churned out in Chinese slave factories.Oh, and his Presidency.— Rick Wilson (@TheRickWilson) July 17, 2017

    • miss_grundy

      Except for all Trump products from Dolt 45 and his main squeeze, the daughter. So much for MAGA….

  • Komsumverweigerer Ron

    in other statistical news, Donnie announced that the chocolate ration would be decreased increased to 25 grams.

    • Le Chapeau

      Soylent green is people!

  • mfp, all 6s&7s&9s

    sorry, but in keeping with my cynical and contrarian nature, i must take issue with the statement “…one out of four americans are idiots”….next time you’re at any large public gathering–or even at work–take a look around….go ahead, take a good, long look around…….

    • m3bosha

      “Think about how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that” — George Carlin

      • Fun with Cthulhu

        This is never not applicable. Also I believe Carlin’s average person was an American, so there’s that too.

      • Le Chapeau

        I’m pretty sure George was talking median, not average.

    • artem1s

      First Law of Basic Human Stupidity: we always underestimate the number of stupid people in circulation. pretty much explains the election and problems with polling in general

      • Le Chapeau

        This can be expressed mathematically: In any human population, the ratio of HA to H is always greater than 1, where H equals “horses.”

  • Zyxomma

    As someone who has been voting since 1972, I can assure you, Evan, that not everyone who votes bathes first. The more you know ….

    • Le Chapeau

      Hey, I’ve been voting since 1972 also too! Upvoted.

      • Zyxomma

        Twice a year if there’s a primary. I take it very, very personally, because as a teen during the Vietnam war, voting started at 21. I carried petitions door-to-door to get 18 year olds the vote. It happened in 1972, when I turned 18 (that was in June, my vote against Nixon was in November). I’m still having trouble speaking to Younger Sister, because she lives in PA and didn’t vote “because I couldn’t bring myself to vote for a murderer.” She’s lucky I don’t murder her (I wouldn’t actually murder anyone, except with votes).

        • Le Chapeau

          I voted against Nixon too. Fortunately so did my mother. My sister and brother were still too young, but they voted for Democrats when they came of age.

        • Le Chapeau

          Yup. I was 18 and just missed the draft. Voted against Nixon in ’72 and, along with 100,000 other people, protested his second inaugural in D.C. four years later. I sure hope younger sister wakes up someday. I have some cousins who are die-hard conservatives/crazy, but my favorite cousin lives here in town and is as liberal as I am.

          • Zyxomma

            Younger Sister is a bit of a puzzle. In many ways, she’s quite liberal. She’d never vote for a piece of shit like Trump, but I suppose the bots got to her. She actually believed HRC was responsible for the car accident that killed a DNC staffer. I was gobsmacked. I guess propaganda really works on some people. Fortunately, most of the family (Elder Sister, all the cousins I’m in touch with) are flaming progressives. I got to hang out with a first cousin who’s the patriarch of the Berkeley branch of the family during the spring and early summer. He’s a peach, and his sons and grandchildren give me some hope for the future.

          • Le Chapeau

            You can pick your friends, but not your family. In your case you seem to be exceptionally lucky in your family. More power to you.

  • (we are 1/8 of the way through his term, WE CAN DO THIS!),

    Thanks for the encouragement.

    (Who are those 10% of voters, who are like “Meh he’s not great, but I don’t hate him”? Please bring them to us so that we may swat them on the fanny.)

    We used to hear from those idiots ALL THE TIME. I’m pretty sure they’re the ones who elected him to office, TWICE, but couldn’t get off their asses to vote in the midterm.

    The WaPo notes that another lie in Trump’s tweet…

    If he’s tweeting, he’s lying. DON’T ACT LIKE HE ISN’T ALWAYS LYING.

    Go on – find a tweet of his that WASN’T a lie.

    Guess not ALL Trump voters are fucking hopeless grundle rashes from hell. Thank God!

    Let’s not overstate things. MOST of them are.

    ~~~

    • miss_grundy

      Swat them on the fanny??? There’s another place that I would like to swat these people–especially the white men but then they would need full penectomies.

  • Alex Grey

    “He’s literally saying he’s proud of an approval rating of “almost 40%”?”
    So Trump is proud of his astonishingly low approval rating. This must be how he relates to the supporters who have nothing in their lives to be proud of, other than being white.

    • theCryptofishist

      I think what he’s trying to say is that it’s actually above 40%, because this poll is so pitifully wrong, like before the election. (Please note: Those are my inferences of Trump’s opinions, not my own opinions.) Otherwise, he’s too stupid to live.

    • Jeffery Campbell

      For Donald Trump, everything is a victory. There are not facts, no reason, no shame. It’s all huge and wonderful….in his mind. A clearly case of insanity there never was.

  • pgjack

    Donald, I know you’ll never see this but you are a whining, sniveling shithead and you deserve the animosity of the entire American public. The fact that 25% of Americans can still live with themselves after having voted for you is pathetic. You suck.

    • SDGeoff3

      And another thing…!

  • Invisible Bunyip

    According to the poll, 24% think he’s presidential, 24% think his Twitter use is a good thing, 26% think it’s cool for Dipshit Junior to have Russian conspiracy meetings in Trump Tower and 24% are excited for the GOP to murder them with TrumpCare.

    That’s a whopping 98%!! Most Amazing President Ever!!

    • tehbaddr

      The numbers add up! Must be true!

    • mailman27

      Add in the chimera vote, and you’ve got like 210%!! Can’t lose!

  • tehbaddr

    ~25% great, ~ 75% nothing burger. Less filling same great tasting fascism?

  • artem1s

    According to the poll, 24% think he’s presidential, 24% think his Twitter use is a good thing, 26% think it’s cool for Dipshit Junior to have Russian conspiracy meetings in Trump Tower and 24% are excited for the GOP to murder them with TrumpCare.

    poor Alan Keyes. He has been usurped as the ultimate measure of batshit crazy.

  • Bill Diaz

    Are they vegan sautéed wombat butthole verucas, organic and locally sourced?

    Have a great day!

    • phoenix00

      Certified~!

  • Resistance Fighter Puipui

    Wait, are we talking about canned wombat anal warts?

    • Lambsendbeds

      I prefer flambéd wombat anal warts. Much classier…

      • Le Chapeau

        With a piquant orange sauce. The secret ingredient is Grand Marnier. Trust me, your guests will rave that it’s the best wombat anal warts flambe they have ever tasted.

    • phoenix00

      MONSTER!

      Or wait, maybe if wombats are actual monsters, in which case CARRY ON.

  • mailman27

    For the 9,000,000th time, election polls had Clinton winning by 21/2-4%. She actually did win by 3%. So, there you go.

  • Ron Spangler

    What about the “Russia switched 70,000 votes” counties?

  • Last Hussar
  • miss_grundy

    The people who supported this joker deserve everything that happens to them. The only bad side to this is that it will also happen to those of us who voted for the other candidate.

    • Le Chapeau

      It’s kind of like chemo. The bad shit takes it on the chin, but so do the good parts. You’re just counting on the bad shit dying first so the treatment can stop.

  • ⭐️Most Accurate Poster 2017⭐️

    It’s also worth pointing out that PPP has found that 55% of Republicans don’t believe Jr. met with the Russians, something that he has openly stated he did.

    • ⭐️Most Accurate Poster 2017⭐️
      • YoBunnyBunny

        Facts… liberal bias… you know the deal.

      • Toledo Window Box

        If you’re too stupid to believe reality, you shouldn’t be allowed to vote.

      • Khavrinen

        I think they need to work on how they phrase their questions:
        “Do you believe Donald Trump Jr. when he says he had a meeting with Russians, or is he just a liar?”

    • Debmcd

      That just proves that Republican voters are thick as thieves and stupid as big sacks of hair.

  • Fancy Meau-Faux

    “Trump is slightly less popular than sautéed wombat anal warts.”

    Are wombat anal warts cubes like wombat poop?

    https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/originals/ce/c0/f5/cec0f5532f371ad52b0551d8d877cbdb.jpg

  • pixeloid

    Another poll showed that 25% of Americans think the sun revolves around the Earth. Are they all tRump supporters? Probably!

  • pixeloid

    tRump’s approval is showing significant shrinkage, no matter what excuse he uses. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/fbd6ea688b36479e7d1a618bbe73c3fdf41299dde72117b7d8693d7b8b3be69c.jpg

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