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Which idiot Trump lawyer got to be the unlucky soul to go on TV and try to defend Trump Junior’s Russian Canoodlings this weekend? Marc Kasowitz? Nah! He was still recovering from ApplebeesGate, which is what we’re calling the thing that happened Wednesday night when Kasowitz was MAYBE at the Applebee’s gettin’ a little TOO CRAZY with the happy hour specials, so when a Rachel Maddow viewer emailed and politely told him to resign, he started (allegedly!) drunk-texting like a common drunk person, like “BITCH PLEASE!” and “I KNOW WHERE YOU LIVE!” What about Alan Futerfas, Junior’s new lawyer? Yeah let’s not, because there was news this weekend that the Trump campaign actually retained Futerfas WEEKS before Junior’s Russian sexxxting emails came out. Mean journalists would probably want to ask about that, and whether the timing might JUST COINCIDENTALLY line up with when Jared Kushner suddenly remembered, after ALREADY suddenly remembering 100+ foreign contacts he done forgetted to report on his security clearance filings, that he met with a “Russian government lawyer” but did NOT remember meeting with her Russian hacker companion.

So Jay Sekulow got to to on the TV! He did ALL FIVE SUNDAY SHOWS! If you’ll remember, Sekulow is the weirdo wingnut fundamentalist Christian lawyer who’s on Trump’s legal team because we guess he’s the best Trump can afford. Sekulow’s main points on the Sunday shows were that Donald Trump didn’t know about Junior’s Russian meeting (which was totally legal and above-board!), it was the Secret Service’s fault, and also James Comey and Hillary Clinton colluded with Benghazi to steal the election for Ukraine. Or something.

To get a really good idea of what we mean, you should watch Sekulow fight with Fox News’s Chris Wallace for almost 15 minutes:

Wallace wanted Sekulow to acknowledge that all the Trump White House’s changing stories surrounding Junior’s Big Gay Russian Orgy are “at the very least suspect.” In response, Sekulow yammered his stupid face off about how James Comey “illegally leaked” things to the press. (He illegally leaked NOTHING.) After Wallace finally convinced Sekulow that the question he asked had nothing to do with Comey (it took a while), Sekulow said, “I do not think the denial by the president of the United States is suspect at all.” Um well OK!

Sekulow explained that Junior’s meeting with the Russians wasn’t a Russian meeting, despite how it was a meeting with Russians. (No for real he said that!) Moreover, did you hear that the Ukrainians did the same exact collusion with Hillary Clinton? (They didn’t. Keep reading, for CNN’s Jake Tapper will kick Sekulow’s ass about this later on in this post!)

And even if Junior and Paul Manafort and Jared Kushner went to Junior’s meeting because they wanted to do big dirty conspiracies with Russia to hurt Hillary, they (allegedly) didn’t get the goods, so Sekulow says no harm no foul. Crimes are not crimes unless you are SUCCESSFUL at doing the crime, which is why nobody in America is in jail for attempted murder right now.

And besides, Sekulow asked, doesn’t EVERYBODY do TOTALLY NORMAL OPPOSITION RESEARCH like this? Wallace replied, “It doesn’t go on all the time with the Russians, JAY.” Regardless, Sekulow reassured the Fox News audience that nothing about the meeting was “illegal” or “against the law.” (That we know of! So far! Allegedly!)

Things got super weird when ABC News reporter Jonathan Karl interviewed Sekulow for the “This Week” program. You see, Sekulow pulled a GOTCHA! out of his bunghole by pointing out that if there was some big “problem” with Junior meeting with that passel of Russians, then the Secret Service would have stopped it, wouldn’t they? GOTCHA!

KARL: … [D]o you accept what we heard from the president’s pick to run the FBI, that what should’ve happened there, you know, a situation where you have representatives of a foreign government offering assistance to ― in an election, that what should’ve happened is that the FBI should’ve been notified?

SEKULOW: Well, I wonder why the Secret Service, if this was nefarious, why the Secret Service allowed these people in. The president had Secret Service protection at that point, and that raised a question with me.

It only “raised a question” with him because he’s not very bright. Reuters quotes Secret Service spokesman Mason Brayman, who notes that in June of 2016, Dumbfuck Junior didn’t have Secret Service protection, therefore they wouldn’t give two flying fucks how he was wasting his life that day:

“Donald Trump, Jr. was not a protectee of the USSS in June, 2016. Thus we would not have screened anyone he was meeting with at that time,” the statement said.

Good try, Jay Sekulow! You know what Secret Service agents do for a living ALMOST PERFECTLY. Except not.

Let’s watch idiot boy on “Meet The Press”:

SPOILER SURPRISE! Sekulow spent half that interview talking about James Comey doing ILLEGAL LEAKS. It’s like it’s an agreed upon talking point, or maybe “COMEY IS A LEAKER!” is the new “BENGHAZIZIIZIZI!!!!!!1!” for addled-brained wingnuts.

Also, apparently James Comey got a book deal, which according to Jay Sekulow proves … SOMETHING. He is not sure what, but hey, he’s not getting paid to use his noodle, he’s getting paid to lie on TV for ThinSkin McPussGrab.

Here’s a fun exchange on CNN’s “State Of The Union” with Jake Tapper:

TAPPER: Are you willing to acknowledge that, regardless of the legality here, this was wrong and a violation of civic honor?

SEKULOW: [Many words that amount to “I’m not answering that question.”] And the situation with the email exchange that was released by Donald Trump Jr., and what was described there is, look at it compared to for instance the situation with the Ukrainians, the DNC and the Clinton campaign.

TAPPER: The moment that there’s an FBI investigation or Senate and House Intelligence Committee investigations into Ukraine and the DNC and the Clinton campaign, I’m happy to discuss it, but that’s not what’s going on right now …

SEKULOW: Isn’t that interesting that there isn’t one, but go ahead, Jake.

TAPPER: The reason why is because nobody from the Ukrainian government met with anybody from the Clinton campaign.

Take that, stupid motherfucker.

Sekulow also told Tapper he doesn’t think Junior did any other Russian conspiracy meetings besides this one, but was careful to remind everyone he is DADDY’S lawyer, not JUNIOR’S lawyer. So we guess it’s entirely possible Junior did A LOT OF RUSSIAN CONSPIRACY MEETINGS.

Finally, Business Insider notes that another theme came up this weekend, and it was whether President FuckStump McOrange might use his powers to go ahead and pre-emptively pardon all his friends and lovers, in case special counsel Robert Mueller finds real crimes:

On “This Week,” Sekulow refused to rule out whether Trump would pardon his son, Manafort, or Kushner if they were convicted of crimes related to the investigation.

“I have not had the conversation with the president about any of that, and I wouldn’t share it if I did because of the attorney-client privilege,” Sekulow said.

“He can pardon individuals, of course, that’s because the founders of our country put that in the United States Constitution, the power to pardon. But I have not had those conversations, so I couldn’t speculate on that.”

So we’ll mark that one down as “You bet your ass he will!”

So! What have we learned? Nothing, the answer is nothing. Feel free to go back to whatever you were doing before you clicked on this.

Wonkette is fully funded by readers like you! If you love us, click below to fund us!

[Real Clear Politics / Huffington Post / Reuters / Business Insider]

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  • RobKanC

    Here’s the thing, junior didn’t get secret service protection when the meeting happened. If the secret service was indeed present, it means Trump who was under the SS detail was in that meeting. This is huge. The lawyer might have potentially implicated his client on the show.

  • TJ Barke

    And here we can clearly see why not hiring anyone smarter than you is a very stupid move.

    • ariel_gee_398

      Well, for a start, given where Donnie’s IQ seems to fall on the distribution, “stupider than him” is a significantly smaller pool of candidates.

      • TJ Barke

        Which is why he’s so fucked.

  • Hither and Yawn

    Team Trump’s (MAGA!) new strategy is to match their spokespeople with their FakeNews doppelgangers in an attempt to confuse people and later attribute statements (*cough* BS) to the interviewers.

  • La forza del resistino

    So Kasowitz was busy with his bar exam?

    • Querolous

      He took the fifth.

  • mardam422

    No Russians. No Russians. You’re the Russian!!

  • Villago Delenda Est

    This guy is human slime (apologies to slime) who has his “Christian” “Charity” pay him for something. No wonder Donald hired him.

  • Msgr_MΩment

    Well, I wonder why the Secret Service, if this was nefarious, why the Secret Service allowed these people in. The president had Secret Service protection at that point, and that raised a question with me.

    So, 45 WAS at the meeting?

    • Snark Tank Full of Resistance

      Or Suck-u-low was assuming that the USSS screened everyone being admitted to the executive floors of Dampnut Towers. I hate giving them the benefit of the doubt, though, so that can’t be it!

      • Rags

        Screened for security threats, not for shadiness or national origin.

    • (((fka_donnie_d)))

      He was and he wasn’t, because he’s secretly Dr Who.

    • OddMan

      And that is the statement that puts Sekulow’s client donald in a bad situation. Could donald have been there?
      Sekulow should have never brought that up, that is not zealously defending your client, that is implicating your client, a good lawyer never does this kind of shit.

      • Msgr_MΩment

        You get what you [actually] pay for.

    • chimichanga

      And they really shoulda stopped Pres. Bill from getting a blowjob from an intern.

      • Little Lulu Ω

        And they really shoulda stopped Jenna Bush from underage drinking.

    • grindstone

      Not content to piss off the intelligence community, Don and Co. decide to toss their own security, aka the Secret Service, under the bus. I’m dying for the Rogue Secret Service tweets to come out.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
    • Msgr_MΩment

      Nixon received a blanket pardon before anything was proven in a court of law.

    • MississippiLefty

      I think you can pardon someone without a conviction. Ford pardoned Nixon, who wasn’t convicted of anything.

      • Msgr_MΩment

        “Ol’ Unindicted Co-conspirator” they used to call him.

    • Skeptical_thinker

      Yes to the pardon. The pardonee can no longer use the fifth amendment protection and must testify under oath if subpoenaed.

  • AJ Milne

    Sekulow, thanks ‘n all. No further questions…

    … or none you’re at all likely to answer straight, I guess…

    All I’m really wondering anyway at this date is:

    On the day Trump gets turfed, is it gonna be the Post or the Daily News does the ‘You’re Fired!’ headline?

    • SayItWithWookies

      AOTK

    • Treehopper1104

      Why not both?

  • Nounverb911
  • Oblios_Cap

    Ignorance of the law is no excuse. Even if you’re Trump Ignorant.

  • La forza del resistino

    So Jared is running around the West Wing secretarial pool asking if anyone has prepared a presidential pardon before.

  • Nounverb911

    Sekulow does realize the donnie NEVER pays his contractors?

    • bupkus231

      He don’t care – he’ll just steal more from the ACLJ

  • Nounverb911
  • Mr. Blobfish
  • Picabo
    • Msgr_MΩment

      Make
      America
      Give the right time
      Again.

      • Oblios_Cap

        Back to wind up clocks and wristwatches!

    • TJ Barke

      Mr. Plinkett libel!

  • Msgr_MΩment
  • Ryan Denniston

    “It’s like it’s an agreed upon talking point, or maybe “COMEY IS A LEAKER!” is the new “BENGHAZIZIIZIZI!!!!!!1!” for addled-brained wingnuts.”

    I think it’s simply that these guys are so high on their own supply that they actually believe the derp that’s meant for the dittoheads.

    • Darlene Underdahl

      Twenty-five percent of the American population believes the sun revolves around the earth? Twenty-five to twenty-seven percent of Americans are hopeless.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        Wait…you’re telling me it doesn’t?

    • MrTusks

      We’re post-truth now. The derp is what we need, the derp is what we say. The fuck does truth matter?

    • cmd resistor

      I thought even FOX retractaed the Comey is a leaker story. But then, of course, it is still “out there.”

  • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

    Okay, Mr. Law-talking Guy. Let’s say, for the sake of argument, that the Secret Service did tell him it was a bad idea. And then let’s say Junior said “No, I’m still going to hold the meeting.”
    Would you then expect the protection detail to drag him out?

    • Oblios_Cap

      I’d expect them to shoot him.

  • La forza del resistino

    Sounds like Comey could parlay his leaker personification into a future lucrative gig as spokesman for form fitting Depends.

  • DerrickWildcat

    Sorry Liberals, Don Jr. and Jared are businessmen first and were only there to see how lucrative it would be to steal money from Russian orphans.

  • Spurning Beer

    This asshole is the embodiment of every lawyer joke ever.

    • bupkus231

      He’s a two-fer – he’s also the embodiment of every conservative joke evah!

    • Msgr_MΩment

      What do you call all the Trump family’s lawyers at the bottom of the ocrean?

      • DAT

        Unpaid contractors?

      • TJ Barke

        Marine pollution?

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        Bait?

      • Miles Monroe

        A violation of the Clean Water Act?

      • calliecallie

        A titanic mess?

      • Snark Tank Full of Resistance

        Tuesday?

      • HogeyeGrex

        An oil slick that doesn’t float?

      • Rags

        Moby Dicks

      • Msgr_MΩment

        Answer: A good start.

    • MrTusks

      Lying doesn’t get you disbarred anymore, just theft and murder. Sleeping with your clients is discouraged but is only used to get over the hump, so to speak.

  • Oblios_Cap

    That Suck-a-lot picture next to Chris Wallace’s looks like an old “Separated at Birth” entry.

  • MynameisBlarney
  • (((fka_donnie_d)))

    The fuck are you lieberals whining about? Civic honor only applies to real politicians. Trump is not a real politician. He said so, many times, during the election.

    PS – the real reason Hillary is not under FBI investigation (Jake Tapper, you fucking moron) is that she lost. These people can’t tell the difference between electoral politics and national security, and the press is too stupid to notice

    EDIT: in case it’s unlear, P1 is snark, P2 is fairly serious.

    • Covfefe

      Nope, a bust is a bust and FBI agents have to put something down on their monthlies every month. No way FBI agents are going to walk away from any bust, much less a Hillary bust, is there was anything to it.

      • (((fka_donnie_d)))

        Not my point. If she had gotten elected there would have been an investigation whether there was any basis for it or not.

    • MrTusks

      “She lost, get over it” is a more apt insult to the conservatives nowadays.

      • (((fka_donnie_d)))

        These people simply b cannot grasp that the v election is over for some reason.

  • schmannity

    For a Christian, Sekulow sure bears a lot of false witness.

    • SDGeoff3

      And his family enjoys a lot of Christian money.

      • schmannity

        Maybe he can lend Coulter his JesusJet.

      • He’d be a great liar on TV’s To Tell The Truth.

    • chimichanga

      Jesus in coming!!!
      (and boy is HE pissed)

      • schmannity

        Shit! Hold my beer.

  • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

    “So! What have we learned? Nothing, the answer is nothing. Feel free to go back to whatever you were doing before you clicked on this.”

    I wants my two minutes backs.

  • Mr. Blobfish

    If Donnie had gone right to the police, this would never had happened. https://goo.gl/images/ZI4ZPw

  • “For an extra ten bucks I’ll drink your bath water, Mr. President Trump.”

    • Martini Ambassador 🍸

      “Only 5 if you pee in it first!”

    • OutOfOrbit

      Oh no!

    • Weird Fishes

      “Thanks, good job. Here’s three.”

  • Darlene Underdahl

    I think I’ll get Comey’s book.

  • beatbort

    Yes, your honor, I broke into the house and, yes, I riffled through all the drawers and sliced open all the mattresses looking for money. But I didn’t find what I was looking for, so I don’t see how I could be accused of breaking the law.

  • I’m just leaving this here…

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=98MNisZJyFI

    • DerrickWildcat

      the SNL site has the Nathan Thurm skits.

    • Spurning Beer

      Nathan Thurm will be joining the Trump legal team, or my name’s not F. Lee Bailey.

  • La forza del resistino

    So your admin is facing ethics/legal challenges. Go hire a guy who has made a career inspecting women’s uteruses

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸

    So, Comey having a book deal means he’s somehow bent now? Let’s talk about book deals, you dumbfucks:
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/02d3ff7ff4240e8553fe065848ca40cf97f4960a63da736bd4706387afedefdb.jpg

    • bupkus231

      I had no idea there were so many of these wastes of trees and ink.

      • Oblios_Cap

        Me either. I’m not much for book burning, but for these, I will make an exception.

      • Martini Ambassador 🍸

        Real struggling authors weep at this fact.

        • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

          real struggling authors wrote those, not Trump.

          • Martini Ambassador 🍸

            Also good point.

          • Weird Fishes

            But probably didn’t get paid.

      • TJ Barke

        What a waste of space on earth.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        When Trump writes a book, a forest dies.

    • POINT OF FACT: It’s not like Trump actually wrote a single word of any of them.

    • Jeffery Campbell

      I have the biggest fonts, the best fonts. Those fonts are beautiful.

      • Ghenghis McCann

        You can actually find fonts called <Trump Mediaeval and Trump Gothic. There must be a lot of graphic designers going, “Well maybe we should use another typeface.”

        • Snark Tank Full of Resistance

          Do they use the Cyrillic alphabet on those fonts?

          • Ghenghis McCann

            Trick question. In Russia all fonts use Cyrillic alphabet.

        • Jeffery Campbell

          Really?! I weep for typography.

          • Ghenghis McCann

            They were created by people with the surname Trump. It must be like being an Austrian with the surname Hitler.

    • Ghenghis McCann

      Some of these must be fake, they don’t have “TRUMP” at the very top.

      • Rags

        And some of them don’t have gold on the cover! Sad!

    • Little Lulu Ω

      He has a book where he gives golf advice? The nerve!

  • DerrickWildcat

    Those two dumb kids of his don’t wipe their ass without Daddie’s go-ahead.

    • Seek

      I’d say at least 3 and possibly 4 of them don’t blink without his permission. Tiffany might be free to blink if she stays far enough away.

  • laineypc

    Sekulow has no light in his eyes. He is utterly soulless and horrible to listen to. I feel like I was just kissed by a dementor. (Wanders off to find some chocolate and puppies.)

  • SayItWithWookies

    Sekulow also argued that Donnie Jr., Kushner and Manafort didn’t break the law because there’s no law specifically against collusion — as though if that word isn’t in the laws prohibiting foreign nationals giving something of value to a campaign, and campaign officials soliciting those things of value, that it’s not the same. You know when you’re reverting to infantile hair-splitting that your case is as watertight as an old paper bag.

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      I hope everyone doesn’t get caught up in the “was it legal or not?” issue. It’s looking more and more like Donnie Two Scoops was willing undermine the actions of the government and to sell out the interests of the American people to a hostile foreign power in exchange for dirt on his opponent.

      • cmd resistor

        I agree. I’m glad Mueller has this additional info to work with, but whether or not that one meeting was a crime or not doesn’t have to be established at this point. I do think there is a good possibility it will lead to lots more shit.

    • Snark Tank Full of Resistance

      I think “conspiracy to commit treason” is a mucho bettero phrase.

  • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

    ” You can call me Ray, You can call me Jay, you can call me Ray Jay, or you can call me Ray Jay J..but ya doesn’t have to call me Competent!”

  • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

    Why lie every step of the way?

    It’s a simple question with an obvious answer.

    Give up?

    Because the Trump Team was fully aware what they were doing was illegal, and the only thing they really cared about was getting caught.

    • My mom had that killer response in appropriate situations to a tearful apology: “Are you sorry for what you did or sorry you got caught?”.

      • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

        This is missing the insincere apology. They’re mad they’ve been caught.

        • kareemachan

          “I’m sorry you took this the way you did.”

        • ” I’m sorry if your babby snowflake feeling were hurt by the manliness of my statement.”

    • Kiri the Unicorn

      Shady operators gonna operate shadily.

    • MynameisBlarney

      And they’re gonna try flee to mother roosha before they get arrested.

  • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

    The FSB would be delighted to take over if the Secret Service doesn’t work for you, Jay.

  • jesterpunk

    The party of “Personal Responsibility”.

    • Weird Fishes

      Can I uh….quote you on that?

      • jesterpunk

        Sure, you can quote me quoting republicans on that.

    • HogeyeGrex

      Well, they’re certainly personally responsible for quite a lot of fucked up shit.

  • OddMan

    The fact that Donald’s lawyer went on five shows and shot his mouth off so preposterously about his son’s legal issues is very wierd. Attorneys I know say this is just not done. He is jeopardizing his own client and fucking up Jr.’s defence.
    I would imagine Donalds new curly moustached attorney is wishing he hadn’t signed on right about now.

    • bupkus231

      You never go full Ginsberg

    • Nounverb911

      Does donnies lawyer get paid everytime someone plays the interview on line too, also?

      • Opalescent Riddles

        Probably paid from “Trump 2020” funds.

    • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

      Donnie Two Scoops will sell anyone and everyone out, even his own blood, to protect himself.

    • Bigby

      Trump has to keep up his 88% Wingnut Cuck Index™. He may need those people to Second Amendment Solve All Of His Problems Away. You can’t go all “Leave Brittany Alooooooone!” on libtards with an AR-15 if you even *suspect* Cheatino Mousse-L-ini is a lying, traitorous, limp-dicked sack of shit.

  • Mr. Blobfish

    It is odd that Sucktoes was out there defending Junior instead of Sasafras. Something this dumb can only come from one person, and that person is Donald Trump.

  • Jeffery Campbell

    Fun with phonics! Jay Suck-you-low.

  • Covfefe

    Secret Service is the intellectual police who exercise a veto over who our leaders are allowed to meet with?

    • Kiri the Unicorn

      No, and I can imagine officials over at the Treasury dept. being horrified at the idea.

    • Carpe Vagenda

      Nah, but they do decide who gets physical access to him, which is why I think it’s kind of interesting that Sekulow says they were involved.

  • azeyote

    now weasels speak english –

  • Mr. Blobfish

    Trump still hasn’t let go of Macron’s hand.

    • Vincent Ricola

      And his eyes still haven’t left Macron’s wife’s ass.

  • Randy Riddle
    • Marla

      That whole god damn family are criminals – including Barron, you know, Donnie and Ivanka’s kid.

      • Werewolf

        Okay, leave the ten-year-old out of it.

        • Marla

          No. They are all criminals.

          • Rags

            stop it. now.

          • Marla

            You must love criminals.

          • Rags

            blocked and reported

          • Marla

            In that case, report yourself for 1st Amendment violations. I’l say anything I want about this criminal family

    • aureolaborealis

      Ann Telnaes for the win, again.

  • La forza del resistino

    Meanwhile, this slug bills more per hour than a DC public defender lawyer makes in a week

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      The D.C. Public defender would do a better job, also.

    • Lefty Wright

      You mean grifts. Most of his and his family’s income comes from donations, often from poor people who can hardly afford rent and electricity. The organizations he is billing are 501(c) charities that he runs.

      • La forza del resistino

        Right. Jet fuel doesn’t pay for itself. Donald’s re-election campaign is taking up the slack.

    • cmd resistor

      Do they pay him his lawyer fee or a pundit fee to go on TV and obsusate?

  • Lefty Wright

    The fact that Trump can pardon these people is a reason to keep a couple of charges off the books for now. Ford did a preemptive pardon for Nixon, but that was never tested in court. But everyone else charged and convicted in the Watergate fiasco served prison time. But if it comes down to it, Trump will try. And the GOP will back him up. Just imagine how much they would have been howling if Clinton had been charged for jaywalking going to a House hearing and Obama pardoned her.

    • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

      Here’s the thing: A bunch of Republicans on the Hill are pissed.

      Here they are: both houses of Congress, the Presidency, and a chance to push through their agenda, and this fiasco is FUBAR, and they know it.

      To make matters worse, Preibus and Ryan repeated much of the Trump/Kremlin disinformation as did Pence, so the wider party is at risk due to their unwitting complicity.

      • kareemachan

        Unwitting? I think not.

        • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

          Oh, some of them are unwitting, I am sure. They only cared about Team Republican winning and weren’t in on the caper.

          Not everybody complicit was wittingly complicit: they shared some goals though, and that’s going to be a bigger problem because the fallout is going to be harsh.

          • Lefty Wright

            Yeah, a lot of it will come down to obstruction. Although I think McConnell was in on this from the early stages. Nunes came in later but was just more obvious about it. Burr most likely knew as of or slightly after the election as part of the transition team. Ryan is just a party hack with no morals anyway, so he may not have been aware of it, he just supported the outcome.

          • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

            Oh, I dispute your characterization of Paul Ryan.

            There was the Secret Republican Meeting where Kevin McCarthy named people he was sure were being paid by Putin, “Trump and Dana Rorabacher. Swear to God.”

            Ryan is left “wondering” about “who” the Russians delivered the hacked-DNC’s oppo research to… leaving the thought unspoken.

            It’s all LOL-time, we’re tight family, “NO LEAKS, guize” because they all knew, IMO.

            https://assets.documentcloud.org/documents/3726371/Read-the-transcript-of-the-conversation-among.pdf

        • Mehmeisterjr

          Half-witting?

  • Bub, Zombie in mourning

    How can anyone look at Jay Sekulow’s face and suspect that he is capable of duplicity? Why, that is one of the most open, honest visages I have ever seen. Truth and honesty shine from his eyes like warmth and light from our planet’s own sun…

    • Parakeetist

      His hair isn’t weird at all.

    • kareemachan

      I’m thinking those are Perry-esque glasses as well.

    • georgiaburning

      He looks like the crooked lawyer from Warner Bros’ central casting

    • I said it before and I’ll say it again, while growing up I didn’t have cable tv or anything so sometimes I would watch the 700 Club and cringe…this is the asshole lawyer who would speak to Pat Robertson and Co frequently when I would cringe watch, and this was at least two decades ago. I can’t believe he’s a member of the POTUS legal team and TV talking head on the POTUS behalf in 2017.

  • Reximus

    Unless he has enormous feet, there’s NO WAY this guy can step on his own dick

    • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

      Maybe it’s detached?

    • akita96th

      Probably a made in china strap on…

  • cheetojeebus
  • alwayspunkindrublic

    Who among us hasn’t gotten monkey-walking drunk on a weeknight at Applebees and rage-mailed a complete stranger threatening to find out where they live so you can come fuck them up?

    • Vincent Ricola

      Just another Tuesday night here in middle America.

    • Mehmeisterjr

      Welcome to the wonderful world of New York City real estate mobsters.

  • HogeyeGrex

    Speaking of Trump lawyers, the FEC filings show Jr’s lawyer getting paid 50k out of the campaign coffers. They also show 90k paid to the Trump Organization for “legal consulting.” Odd. I hadn’t realized they were a law firm. Oh, and both of these things are listed as disbursements for the 2020 primary. Nothing hinky there, no sir.

    https://twitter.com/lachlan/status/886287650084335616

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      He did say “everybody pays”, after all. And this means you, children’s cancer charity!

    • starfanglednut

      Fucking grifters. I can’t believe the trumpsters are falling for this shit.

  • Scooby

    It’s like quantum mechanics, everything Trump and his minions say is both true and untrue at the same time. It is only when we finally observe what actually happened that it collapses into a state of truth.

    • DainBramage

      I’m more of a Many Worlds Theory kind of guy. So there are worlds where some of the stuff they say is actually true, just not this one.

    • chimichanga

      Heisenberged

      • Opalescent Riddles

        And Schrodingered also too.

  • calliecallie

    Trump is so quick to point out that “Comey is a leaker.” He is typically guilty of those things he accuses others of doing. I suggest Trump may have a problem with incontinence.

    • Wuulf

      Projection is the GOP’s top strategy.

      • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

        Trump is an overt narcissist. His gaslighting, projection and blameshifting isn’t just a political tactic: it’s all he knows.

    • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

      Would you like to know the location of our nuclear submarines, for instance?

    • Phoenixdoglover

      With Drumpf, it’s stream of consciousness.

      • Ghenghis McCann

        I have my doubts about him being concious when he tweets. Stream of Incontinence sounds about right

    • DainBramage

      Trump incontinece? That Depends.

    • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

      This is where I do NOT post a picture of Donald in his sheer tennis shorts, or his white golf pants.

      AND YOU THANK ME FOR IT!

      MAGA (Make America Gurgitate Anomalouslessly)

    • John Thorstensen

      There’s a long tradition of this. As Lincoln said at Gettysburg, “our fathers brought forth, incontinent …. “

      • Querolous

        Trump pays his people with incontinental dollars?

  • Cogswell – in a mirror darkly

    Have his lawyer’s lawyer’s lawyer’s lawyers lawyered up yet?

    #MAGA baby, MAGA

    Make Attoneys Get Attorneys

    • Ghenghis McCann

      Big fleas have little fleas,
      Upon their backs to bite ’em,
      And little fleas have lesser fleas,
      and so, ad infinitum.

      • Snark Tank Full of Resistance

        Fleas: Adam had ’em.

      • Jim Johnson

        Ad nauseum also, too.

      • chimichanga

        Is this Ogden Nash?

        • Querolous

          At least it isn’t Ogden Utah.

    • Anna Rompage

      At least Donad has delivered on his promise to create jobs…

      • Mehmeisterjr

        Granted, they will turn out to be, like all Trump jobs, unpaid jobs.

  • Vincent Ricola

    “Why is no one investigating the ghost of Hillary Clinton!? Ukrainians and the DNC and emails and Ben.G.Hazi!” – GOP 2040

  • Bub, Zombie in mourning
    • Phoenixdoglover

      I’m convinced. Can’t we please now get on with destroying the environment, kicking people off their health insurance, and helping the richest people with their tax burden?

      • Bub, Zombie in mourning

        Yeah! You know – the IMPORTANT stuff!

  • Wuulf

    When you accept a pardon, you admit guilt.

    • Sally

      Ah, but in the minds of the great unwashed GOP supporters, a pardon would mean the opposite.

  • CripesAmighty

    And another gem from Richard Painter over the transom:
    “Jared Kushner should have his security clearance revoked. If not, just throw in the towel and give one to Vladimir Putin.”

  • OneYieldRegular

    Is Chris Wallace ever going to have his “Joe Scarborough moment” and up and quit FOX rather than continue to be diminished by that association?

    • Ghenghis McCann

      “I have to kiss the boss’s ass, tell lies and smile when I’m doing both: but at least I’ve got a job.”

    • Persistent Demme

      Speaking of Chris Wallace…
      I love this ancient video of the Big Dog schooling ol’ Chris:
      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TvQmrtuQUnI

  • Vecchioivan
  • ken_kukec

    “Sekulow is the weirdo wingnut fundamentalist Christian lawyer who’s on Trump’s legal team because we guess he’s the best Trump can afford. ”

    Afford? I thought The Sek represents put-upon Christian zealots like Trump pro bono publico.

    • Covfefe

      Sekulow can use his representation of Trump as fodder for Christian donations to his charity, ACLJ.

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    Trump and Sekulow do seem to share a common affinity for unfortunate tanning booth results.

  • BigCSouthside

    The statement that they didn’t get anything has to be a lie. I’d bet money this meeting gave the green light to the Guccifer hack and dump. There’s no fuckin way that many people were involved and nothing of consequence happened

  • susan_g

    What I like about this is that the guy is not even Junior or Jared’s lawyer yet he has been chosen to defend them on tv because he is perceived by team cheeto as better than their own lawyers. Nice.

    • Covfefe

      Their own lawyers prolly have enough sense not to do it.

  • DainBramage

    Sekulow is just going for public opinion. Not law, or even sense. His only purpose is to keep the lobotomized Trump supporters on Donnie’s side.

  • Stulexington

    Please tell me there’s a provision preventing the preznut from pardoning someone he’s conspiring with.

    • Skaarphy

      No, sorry. He cannot pardon an impeachment and he cannot pardon someone convicted on state laws. Other than that he has free reign.

  • akita96th

    He is a highly paid Trump Trud polisher.(he definitely has shit on his hands now)…Trouble is, I think he is out of Turd polish. That turd won’t polish itself. It can not shine under its own steam(no pun intended).

  • BigCSouthside

    How the fuck did a 40 year operative like manafort let this meeting happen? Shit like this is done via cutouts with a few degrees of separation from the candidate, not via tge candidate’s son who also shares the candidate’s name.

    • The Wanderer

      1. Manafort’s objections may have brushed aside.
      2. It’s the Trumps; they don’t believe anything bad can possibly happen to them.

    • Sally

      AND in the candidate’s own building, where he was in residence at the time (he left a rally at 12:30 and headed back to Trump Tower, so for all we know he was present at the meeting too, or at least in audio presence.)

  • Bub, Zombie in mourning

    Eric Bolling is a douchebag of monumental proportions.

    http://crooksandliars.com/2017/07/foxs-eric-bolling-we-should-be-blaming

    • The Wanderer

      So new?

    • Mehmeisterjr

      When they dynamite the Mount Rushmore National Monument and replace it with the Mount Rushmore Douchebag Memorial, Eric Bolling will be right there where Washington used to be.

  • The Wanderer

    OT, but NPR had a panel on to discuss the Trump “economic plan” (fun fact, no one from the WH or OMB showed up to defend it). The emcee’s idea was to set up a hypothetical situation in which, yes, the Trump ‘plan’ could in fact create 3% growth of GDP consistently for several years.
    The first economist he spoke to sounded as if she was going to fall out of her chair laughing at any moment. I suppose, in some hypothetical universe were unicorns shit ice cream, consistent 3% growth is possible, but only at the expense of both the proletariat and the bourgeoisie.

    • Jamoche

      Top 0.001%: “I don’t see a downside”.

  • rick

    Can a sitting president under investigation pre-pardon the other players in a pre-emptive strike to avoid any ugly legal ramifications for those players?

    • Résistance Land Shark Ω

      No. See above.

      • MississippiLefty

        But Ford did this! And Papa Bush did this!

      • rick

        Oh! I will! Thanks! 😀

    • Rags

      I suspect that if the Prez lets the relevant parties know in advance that he intends to pardon person X, the enthusiasm for prosecuting person X drops significantly.

      • rick

        Thanks for your reply. 😎

  • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

    SEKULOW: Isn’t that interesting that there isn’t one, but go ahead, Jake.

    TAPPER: The reason why is because nobody from the Ukrainian government met with anybody from the Clinton campaign.

    SEKULOW: Well what about the Ugandan government? Or the Uruguayan government? or Uzbekistan? Well!

    • DainBramage

      TAPPER: You might as well ask about Uranus.

      • generalleeme

        Dissing Uranus doesn’t ever end well.

    • Bobathonic

      That’s Uzbekibekibekistan.

    • Jamoche

      Kyrgyzstan! Which exist only to frustrate people on Sporcle typing challenges.

  • Proud Liberal

    Put the shoe on the other foot. What if Hillary did all of this? Timeline of events during the 2016 election.

    http://www.factcheck.org/2017/06/timeline-russia-investigation/

  • Professor Fate

    I read this and all I can think of is something my dad used to say
    “Boy are you dumb.”

  • Résistance Land Shark Ω
  • Aileen

    How greedy and short-sighted do you have to be to sign up to be Trump’s lawyer?

    • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

      *Checks Sekulow’s credentials*

      How does “bottomless greed” sound?

      I can’t tell about his glasses prescription, though.

    • Jamoche

      So short-sighted you don’t realize you aren’t getting paid?

      • Aileen

        But… think of the book deal? The paid Fox News appearances? Actually, I got nothing.

  • Phoenixdoglover

    Regarding the “pardon” idea:

    Legal definition of Pardon
    1) v. to use the executive power of a Governor or President to forgive a person convicted of a crime, thus removing any remaining penalties or punishments and preventing any new prosecution of the person for the crime for which the pardon was given.

    So, convictions first. OK.

    • Résistance Land Shark Ω

      That works … I’d love to say, “Thrice convicted, ex-President Donnie Two Scoops.”

      • Mehmeisterjr

        “Thrice convicted ex-President formerly known as Donnie Two Scoops, now known as Donnie No Scoops.”

    • MississippiLefty

      In theory, but not in practice. Ask Caspar Weinberger.

    • laughingnome

      Nixon was pardoned before any convictions.

  • ken_kukec

    Sekulow isn’t functioning as a lawyer on Trump’s team; he’s functioning as a PR spokesliar, going on “the shows” to cook the facts and issue blanket denials of wrongdoing on behalf of Trump père and lame excuses for Trump fils.

    Every time he does so, he limits the Trumps’ legal options down the road. If this matter ever ends up in formal judicial proceedings, Sekulow will probably be disqualified from representing Trump, since the opposing party will want to introduce his statements against Trump.

    • eggs ackly-wright

      Yep, gotta muddy up that jury pool of public opinion. Casting doubts for the rubes, hither and thither.

  • Nockular cavity

    “What ‘Russian’ meeting? Sure, they met with Tolstoy, Raskolnikov, Princess Anastasia, Ensign Chekov, Baba Yaga, and Peter and the wolf, but it wasn’t a RUSSIAN meeting!”

    • Phoenixdoglover

      Not to mention the limo drivers, Pickov and Dropov.

      *tip of the hat to “Car Talk”

    • amrak63

      Was that our Chekov or Evil Mirror Universe Chekov?

    • Kooolest G

      yakov smirnoff libel!!!1!!!1

    • TundraGrifter

      You forgot Yakov Smirnoff. Of course, everybody else has, too.

    • Mehmeisterjr

      Extra up-carat for Baba Yaga.

    • Querolous

      Did they meet with Lieutenant Kijé ?

  • Andrew Rheinheimer

    For those who want information on how pardoning works:

    https://www.justice.gov/pardon/pardon-information-and-instructions

  • Nockular cavity

    I’m all in favor of posthumous pardons of the Trumps.

    (Whoosh! Banhammer barely misses head.)

  • Raan

    Question: When is Fox News going to get rid of Chris Wallace for some made-up offense but really for not being “part of the team” and having any shred of journalistic integrity, so that he can go to a decent news organization?

    Also, I think our cat Max is trying to tell us something.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/f7faa961b0ab44cd20ef8dd62cf0457a1334a1ee277001aac749760fd1c5dc43.jpg

  • Bigby

    Sure, I emptied my Glock at my ex-wife but never hit her even once (she serpentined!)! How is that Attempted Murder!? I mean, if a couple of bullets struck her I could see it, maybe, but otherwise, unfair!

    signed
    0893748, Prisoner, Cell Block Q

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      I robbed a bank the other day. But it’s not my fault- the security guard should have stopped me from walking in the front door…

      • Mehmeisterjr

        And they keep money in there. How is that even fair?

    • Mehmeisterjr

      Revised statement, one day later:

      Well, OK, I grazed her a few times but how is that attempted murder? She ain’t dead. Yet.

      Revised, revised statement, one day after that:

      So I pumped a few rounds into her, so what? They landed nowhere near a vital organ. How do a couple of itty-bitty flesh wounds count as attempted murder?

      Later that day:

      Now you’re just splitting hairs. The bullet that lodged in her prefrontal cortex? Everybody lodges bullets in prefrontal cortexes. It’s no big deal.

      A half hour later:

      But Hillary murdered Vince Foster!

  • Bitter Scribe

    And even if Junior and Paul Manafort and Jared Kushner went to Junior’s meeting because they wanted to do big dirty conspiracies with Russia to hurt Hillary, they (allegedly) didn’t get the goods, so Sekulow says no harm no foul. Crimes are not crimes unless you are SUCCESSFUL at doing the crime…

    Hey, it worked for Aaron Burr.

  • Angela Ruzzo

    Before I clicked on this I was trying to get rid of the 7,497 Japanese Beetles that are trying to kill my two rose bushes, and doing an extremely good job of it (maybe they should run for Congress). They are interesting, iridescent little critters…they gather together in clumps of 4, 5 or 6 to nibble on leaves, as if they had a lunch date with their lawyers. Could some of them be Russian Spy Beetles? Is this Collusion????? Will Ann Coulter be pissed off because they are eating leaves she reserved for lunch today? I discovered that if you get out a lawn sprinkler and let it spray the bushes for about an hour, it pisses the beetles off and most of them fly away, but the ones that are having lunch dates stick to the leaves like glue – like those really overweight people you see at Chinese buffets – and then you have to put on rose pruning gloves and start picking them off and drowning them in a bucket of soapy water. This is tedious beyond words, so I am off to the hardware store to buy some Sevin.

    • Yr. Gma

      Die beetles!

    • Sophia

      Good luck. I had those little buggers destroying my lilies for 2 years. I finally quit planting them. Nothing you can buy over here will get rid of them.

      • TundraGrifter

        Have you tried nicotine spray? Soak a cigar in water, strain it, put it into a spray bottle and let ‘er rip. I have never seen a bug that can survive that.

        • Hiptobesquare

          Disgusting! But if it works, I’m willing to try it! My garden destroyers are bunnies, though. Think it would work for them?

          • TundraGrifter

            I very much doubt it. Great on bugs, however. That’s what we used many years ago when our “plants” were invaded and we had an intense personal interest in not using a pesticide that was dangerous for human consumption.

            That I recommend ingesting nicotine. But it was only on the surface and lots of it probably washed off and history tells us humans something of a tolerance for it.

      • Angela Ruzzo

        I just read about something called “Bag-A-Bug” which is a plastic bag of insecticide that attracts Japanese Beetles, who fly into the bag and eat it and die. Each bag can hold up to a pound of beetles. Sounds better and easier than Sevin. There are also Japanese Beetle Traps that you can hang on fruit trees that do something similar.

        • Sophia

          Thanks, if they ever come back I will know what to try

    • nightmoth

      Sevin works. I’ve never had such an invasion that I couldn’t pick them off and throw them in the fish pond.

    • BearLeft

      That’s the stuff they used to make in Bhopal. I half expected them to advertise it with the slogan “Works good on bugs too!” (I’ve used loads of it myself; currently in the course of cutting down the last few plantings for which I use it — not a moral stand, but I’ll take it.)

      • Angela Ruzzo

        I the end I didn’t buy Sevin spray, it was too expensive (1 bottle $13). I spoke to a neighbor, who had a bad infestation in her fruit trees, and she makes her own Beetle Juice out of red cedar oil and nicotine. She gave me some, and it worked. Smells bad, though. But most of them flew away and didn’t come back, which means they are probably eating someone else’s roses now.

  • Empress of the Iguana People

    If Alex Jones said it, it must be true. /s

  • nightmoth

    Could it be—gasp!—that being forced to interview liars like Suck-you-low is turning overpaid talking head anchor star people into—-Journalists?!

    • SisterArtemis

      I wouldn’t complain if it did. Not exactly a “by any means necessary” person, but in this case…

    • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

      Upfists for “Suck-u-low”

    • JustDon’tSaySortMyBalls

      ’bout fkn time, say I

  • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

    Karl Rove once famously said, “We’re an empire now, and when we act, we create our own reality. And while you’re studying that reality — judiciously, as you will — we’ll act again, creating other new realities, which you can study too, and that’s how things will sort out. We’re history’s actors . . . and you, all of you, will be left to just study what we do.” I am beginning to think that they are REALLY BAD ACTORS!

    • TundraGrifter

      Ronald Reagan did OK, I guess, pretending to be President. Mr. Trump – not so much.

      • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

        Reagan was a shitstorm, too, it’s just that the GOP endlessly propagandized him into St. Ronnie:
        1. Went behind President Carter’s back, as a private citizen, to Iran (at the time,like negotiating with ISIS–they were murdering people, and were holding Americans hostage), endangering the hostages’ lives during the delicate negotiations, to get them to agree to delay the release until the first day of his presidency, so he could get credit.
        2. Took credit
        3. Went back to Iran (remember, they were the terrifying ISIS of the time), and secretly sold them billions of dollars of arms, many of which have made their way to Syria and to ISIS.
        4. Used the billions to fund a covert war and prop up a dictator in Nicaragua, causing Death Squads and an ensuing immigration crisis that is still going on today
        5. Ended mental health care in this country, which has since spiraled into a disastrous catastrophe with ill people sleeping in the streets like 12th century Poland
        6. Began dismantling the American education system, first here in CA, then country-wide.
        7. Busted the flight controllers’ union, literally firing every one of them, and deregulating air travel, causing the terrible problems we have today, as well as beginning the destruction of American unions and the middle class.
        8. Idiotically spouted some stupid phrase in Berlin, at around the same time as the Russians decided to retreat from East Germany for numerous reasons unrelated to anything the Gibbering Fool said
        9. Took credit
        10. Caused the continuing opiate crisis with his wretched, sanctimonious, counter-effective “Just Say No” program that only caused the problem to spread like wildfire
        11. Brutally, openly, wickedly, unforgivably, utterly refusing to disseminate even the most minimal kind of information, let alone create any kind of medical intervention or help to stop the exploding catastrophe of AIDS, resulting in the death of hundreds of thousands of beautiful young innocent boys, who were treated as though they had the Black Plague. This was his most grotesque, heinous act.

        • Hiptobesquare

          Rec’d specifically for point #1, AKA treason.

    • Panika MCD

      well, they don’t have Karl Rove coaching them, obviously.

      • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

        Could you imagine the melt down Karl (R-Bug Fuck) would have over this administration. “No, of course he didn’t collude with the Russians. There’s no pro…What? Jr. tweeted the proof? What!…”

        • Panika MCD

          Karl Rove (R – the consulting firm in the office next to the office I work out of) seems very happy that he’s not working for the administration. he’s also lost a ton of weight. I’m wondering if he’s going to do some penance as he’s not with the bug fuck crazies over at TPPF or Empower Texans. we’ll see in the primaries.

  • William

    Lawyer shmawyer. The fair and balanced people have a handle on the whole thing. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/6bca3141fa22bac34a4fceb8a7615159a3cdde60917304bb430ad17e179e0597.jpg

    • TundraGrifter

      The only one missing (between #3 and #4) is “Well, that person [Paul Manaford] wasn’t a major campaign figure. Only served a short time.”

  • Les Appentis De la résistance

    “I have not had the conversation with the president about any of that, and I wouldn’t share it if I did because of the attorney-client privilege,” Sekulow said.

    Didn’t he just violate attorney-client privilege by stating that it had not been discussed?

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      That boy ain’t too bright.

    • hillarysleftone

      That this didn’t occur to him before he said it gives some inkling as to the level of competence we’re dealing with here. (I’m just a simple ambulance chaser but sheesh…)

  • SisterArtemis

    Speaking of news wars:
    Nancy LeTourneau: We Are in the Midst of a Cold Civil War in This Country

    Over the weekend, Carl Bernstein suggested that we are in the midst of a “cold civil war” in this country where a “fact-based debate is becoming impossible.” That struck me as a pretty apt description of what is going on right now….

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      My friend and I had that very discussion this weekend. Terrifying, really, when you try to imagine a future without Dolt 45, where half of the people will fiercely cling to the falsehood that he was “witch hunted” out of office by the Deep State, while the sane among us will understand the actual truth. How do we mend that?

      • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

        “Hot civil war” I guess is probably NOT the answer.

        My darkest cynical side thinks this is what the admin wants, because that gives them the kinds of emergency powers they crave.

        • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

          Oh, not even a darkest cynical side. This is a CLASSIC tactic of despots and dictators. Of course it’s what they–and Putin–want.

      • Last Hussar

        Welcome to Brexit-land. At least he can only be there 8 years.

    • Zyxomma

      That was scary. Thanks?

    • OrdinaryJoe

      The conflict is nothing but a continuation of the “Culture War” that Nixon and Pat Buchanan let loose in the ’60s. So if it is a civil war, they fucking started it.

  • Me not sure

    That Sekulow (a self described “messianic Jew”) would be working under the same roof with so many anti-semites who don’t care what your religious beliefs are because “Jew”, is kind of weird to me. How the hell does that work?

    • Mehmeisterjr

      You grab bags of money from suckers and wave a Bible around.

      • Me not sure

        “See ya in heaven, suckers!”

        • Mimi Dean

          Or not.

      • aureolaborealis

        Not necessarily in that order.

    • Stockholm syndrome

    • “messianic Jew”

      What is that? A Jew that believes in Jesus, so the other assholes in the WH don’t beat up on him? (They will anyway.)

      ~~~

      • Me not sure

        Yeah. He went to Mercer University in Macon, GA, fell in with a group called Jews For Jesus, and converted to Christianity. That typically doesn’t make any difference to Nazis. Some German Jews had converted but were sent to the camps anyway.

  • Paperless Tiger

    We learned why all the crimes are not crimes now, because Trump.

    • Panika MCD

      well, if rich people do it…

      no oligarchy! no nepotism! you’re the oligarchic nepotismburger! BENGHAZI!

  • TundraGrifter

    “SEKULOW: Isn’t that interesting that there isn’t one…”

    Hmmm…let’s make a fun list of all the things Congress or the FBI or a Special Counsel appear to be investigating these days.

    The Trump Foundation made an illegal $25,000 political campaign contribution but hasn’t done anything to get the money back. That’s also illegal.

    That $25,000 went to an entity and turned it over to another mysterious entity that appears to have bundled it up with a bunch of corporate contributions and sent it all to the Republican Party of the State of Florida.

    What is the precise nature of Roger Stone’s entity? Not a PAC and not a non-profit, it collects “donations” and worked to support Mr. Trump as a candidate for President, but it isn’t registered with the FEC.

    Why is the Trump campaign entity paying an attorney to defend Donald Jr. when he wasn’t a candidate for office and, indeed, holds no Federal office?

    • whitroth

      You forgot the laundering of Russian money through NYC real estate… which is what Preet was investigatin’, when he was fired.

  • aureolaborealis

    Citing the Secret Service in that way kind of sort of implies that Don Sr. was at that meeting. Wasn’t he the only one in the campaign with Secret Service protection at that point?

    • whitroth

      That’s a thought… Could the Orange one have snuck away, one floor down in Trump Tower? Could HE have been the eigth person?

      • LeighBowery’sLuxuryComedy

        Apparently not – that seat was reserved for yet another fine upstanding Russian citizen with some unfortunate money laundering charges on his record. But as previously noted on Wonkette, the meeting was a clown car, so more may yet come tumbling out. (don’t forget Reince whazzisname was spotted at the Eye of Sauron that day too!)

  • canes_pugnaces

    Suck-a-lot is a schmuck-a-lot. Ick.

  • Les Appentis De la résistance

    Putin wants his properties in the US returned.

    Typical Patriotic American: FUCK YOU, PUTIN!
    Donnie Two Scoops: Properties? I thought you said ‘Down on your knees’

  • It is a strange comfort to see the quality of the Ol’ Pussy Grabber’s counsel. While it is painful to watch this play unfold, it will be glorious in its Greco-tragi-comedic glory.

    • Mormos

      “The rise and fall of a moron”
      “The clown king”
      “The Aristocrats”

      • texcynical

        Not smart enough to be a moron. We’re in moran territory.

      • The Arrestedocrats?

    • whitroth

      No, this is not a Greek tragedy. That would have been LBJ. This is horrific farce, since they’re all not only crooks, but incompetent ones.

      • ahughes798

        “Stupid Watergate” – John Oliver

      • Probably right there. Benny Hill meets Keystone Kops is more this bunch’s speed.

  • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

    “We couldn’t take this meeting to the FBI, because the FBI might start asking us about ALL THE OTHER Russia stuff!

    I mean, Putin told us Comey was seriously skeeved out just by talking to Donald Sr a few times, as it was!”

    –Donald Jr comments that Jay Sekulow will probably have to be explaining next

  • Lyly Sirivong

    How do you not go mad from having to speak on a regular basis to people like Jay Sekulow, Kellyane Conway or Sarah Huckabee Sanders ? No wonder news anchors snap sometimes.

  • OrdinaryJoe

    He’s real successful at the Joos for Jeebuzz shill lawyering thing. Criminal defense lawyer, not so much. Hard to lose when you client is the Lord. Hard to win when your client is a Liar.

    • whitroth

      Same job… he did say “Praise the Lard”(ass), right?

  • whitroth

    Isn’t it the case that he can’t pardon someone until *after* they’ve had their Day In Court and were convicted?

    • Saxo the Grammarian

      Nixon was never indicted, but Ford pardoned him anyway.

    • KenHoughton

      The retroactively-sainted GHWB pardoned all of the members of Iran-Contra on his last day in office. This includes those who had not been indicted yet, as well as those convicted or dead.

  • BreakingDeadMen

    Can’t we just arrest all the Trumps and Trump-in-laws, the Pences and everybody else now, before they do any more crimes?

  • JustDon’tSaySortMyBalls

    And before you say it, I know: “that should be hours/minutes/seconds”
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/d31c5150c4ef9a5e4a60ebe2da6f3796464b0f2a8a217a4d53b3727adc00f814.jpg

  • Mimi Dean

    Wonkette Senior Editor Evan Hurst (not sure of a commoner’s protocol when addressing Snark royalty so I’m just throwing it all in to be safe) I don’t know you but I’d marry you right now based only on “Thinskin McPussgrab” and “Fuckstump McOrange.” Oh, and the rest of the article is also badass, as uzhe.

  • House0fTheBlueLights

    Why do we play this game? The sole purpose of these talk show appearances is to create clips for the RWNM to selectively edit to demonstrate how their guy is both correct and under attack by the Fake News Lamestream Media. And everybody just jumps right on board and says, yup, okay, let’s give these guys some soundbites!

    • Perkniticky

      They are deliberately feeding this stuff to their loony supporters. I just heard about the Ukraine accusation from some commenter on facebook. Had no idea what he was talking about until I came to Wonkette. Because you’re not going to catch me watching these shows.

      • Komsumverweigerer Ron

        the housemate used to be addicted to them, but of late she just turns off the tv on sunday morning. I approve 100%.

        • LeighBowery’sLuxuryComedy

          Now – only six more days to go every week and you’ll be getting somewhere.

  • Komsumverweigerer Ron

    clearly this man is worth every cent donnie isn’t paying him.

  • Holly

    Evan! You never fail. You consistently have me hysterically laughing while crying while wiping the tears of mirth from my eyes. The names Evan..those beautiful, descriptive names you give the orange fucktater. Priceless.

  • Sekulow is the weirdo wingnut fundamentalist Christian lawyer who’s on Trump’s legal team because we guess he’s the best Trump can afford.

    Stupid enough to think he’s going to get paid someday.

    ~~~

  • Riley Whodat Venable

    I swear he looks like Guy Smiley from Sesame Street.

    • A puppet who spouts inanities?

      • SeeTrain65

        You win.

  • Bamz pardons a few dudes in jail for smot poking and the wingnuts go insane.
    Trump Spox says Trump will use presidential pardon because that is why the founders put it in there and…..lemme guess. Nada?

  • dshwa

    He’s the only one dumb enough to risk perjury by talking on tv

    • Toledo Window Box

      It’s not perjury if you say a lie on the television.

      • Petunia Cat

        True. But it does make you vulnerable to the question “were you lying then or are you lying now?” Yes lawyers aren’t usually questioned in court. But I got a feeling that’s not going to hold true with these Trump lawyers.

        And surely the Trumpkins owe us the entertainment value of something weird involving the Ty Cobb lawyer. And his exquisite mustache. 🤦🏻‍♀️

      • dshwa

        No, but if you say contradictory things on tv from in court, it gets the judge’s attention and gets you looked at. And if you parrot your clients lies in court and your client changes his tune (a very likely happening with the Trump bunch) that gets looked at too. Smarter to stay quiet at this point.

  • Vaara Thaumetergist

    Sekulow is the weirdo wingnut fundamentalist Christian lawyer who’s on Trump’s legal team because we guess he’s the best Trump can afford.

    As a Christian, I am aware of what we refer to as Commandments. One of these has something to do with not bearing false witness. Relative to the Secret Service he has done other Christians that serve a great wrong in his falsehoods. He really should repent and apologize. Then beg their forgiveness.

    Then perhaps he should consider the lies he may be telling to the rest of America.
    A good Christian would adise Trump to come clean and confess. Perhaps he needs a visit from his pastor or deacons in this matter.

    • Toledo Window Box

      He’s the “best” that would actually take a job with Trump. All major law firms turned him down.

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      He’s more of a “Christian” grifter. He dupes the rubes into sending him money, so he can buy a jet for himself Jesus. Soooo…he’s not exactly someone who is attempting to genuinely be a good Christian.

  • Toledo Window Box

    Sure, blame the Secret Service. You’ve already pissed off the entire intelligence community, why not the guys that protect you from assassination.

    These guys are truly idiots.

  • persistently_resistant_gayby

    He does hire the bestest most bigliest succesfulest people.

  • Petunia Cat

    Evan! You left out the best bit! He missed pronounced Magnitsky every fucking time. Maddow on Monday night had a little montage of him saying it wrong. He pronounced it like it was Nijinsky, if Nijinsky began with an M. 😳 It was truly amazing. He also in the bit you quote pronounced neFAIRious neFAAARious. Which just makes him seem even more surreal and uncanny valley.

    • javadavis

      I had to look up how to pronounce “Magent-ski” (thanks for that) but then I am not a Jesus for everyone lawyer who should have the resources to have interns make sure any questionable words are vetted.

  • guppy06

    “If this was nefarious, why’d the Secret Service allow these people in?”

    Why would the Secret Service get involved unless…?

    This means the next bombshell will be that Russia was trying to funnel North Korea’s counterfeit $100’s into Trump’s campaign, doesn’t it?

  • Mike

    Since the only one with a SS detail was Pappa Trump is Jay telling us Little Hands himself was at the meeting…?

    • javadavis

      No – I wish. But he is also NOT telling us that LH was at the meeting, nor was the USSS in their tweet. They simply stated that Don, Jr was not their protectee. They don’t mention whether their job is to protect their actual protectee from his own stupidity.

  • The Librarian

    I spent too much time watching Jay step on his dick, but forced my masochistic self to hear him repeat the same bs talking points. The man has no dick left, if he had one to begin with.

  • generalleeme

    DSIF…is an old metric for measuring the Dick Stepping Incident Frequency of arrogant politicians and their attorneys that dates back to the Roman Empire.

    And I have added a new metric…DSIFWTS for attorneys like Jay Sekalow…Dick Stepping Incident Frequency With Track Shoes. Feel free to plot the data along a trendline during future MTP or CNN interviews by Sekalow.

  • Bud
    • Razor’s Edge

      I also see a lot of “Nathan Thurm” in this guy.

  • Jared James


    “I do not think the denial by the president of the United States is suspect at all.”
    translates roughly to “I am far too stupid to be entrusted with adult responsibilities like driving a car or raising a child.”

  • Jeff Mc Donald

    Worst job in the world:
    A.) Crack whore
    B.) Outhouse maintenance
    C.) Trump’s lawyer
    D.) Too close to call

    • Maybe

      I think they are too close to call because they are basically the same job described in slightly different terms.

  • nick kelly

    And how about Trump’s other lawyer, who is now facing discipline for e- mailing a critic ‘You better watch your back. I know where you live’ plus ‘fuck off’ etc.

    Question: can the client talk some sense to his lawyer, get him to calm down?
    Maybe Trump will call him in for an advisory chat.

    And then bill his ass off.

  • Maybe

    Sounds as though this guy is also stepping on some Trump dick.

    And getting paid for it.

    Assuming the Trumps actually pay their lawyers this time.

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