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No Russia. No Russia. YOU’RE THE RUSSIA.

Did you read Wonkette’s HILARIOUS BLOGTIMES POST about Donald Trump’s crazy-ass lawyer Marc Kasowitz and his maybe-drunk mean girl emails to somebody who emailed asking him to resign after seeing him on “The Rachel Maddow Show”? Have you been reading this week’s CRAZY NEWS about Donald Trump Jr. and his sexcellent conspiracy meeting with Russian lawyers, spies and hackers? Well, we’ve got a treat for you, because it turns out those two stories are connected!

As we’ve noted before, when Trump hired Kasowitz, it was reported he had BRAGGED to all his pals that he had “played a central role” in getting Donald Trump to fire New York U.S. Attorney Preet Bharara. At the time, it was just kind of a “Meh, maybe he’s just talkin’ shit” sort of thing. But maybe it wasn’t! In his career, Kasowitz, on top of being Donald Trump’s thug lawyer, has represented big state-owned Russian banks. Bharara, meanwhile, was investigating this HUGE case of Russian money laundering when he was fired.

Indeed, in May, a couple months after Trump fired Bharara, the U.S. government settled the case he had been working on all of a sudden, in a move that stunned EVERYONE:

The case aimed to expose how Russian mobsters allegedly stole $230 million and hid some of the cash in New York City real estate. Also sure to come up was the suspicious death of the Russian lawyer who exposed the alleged fraud, though US prosecutors weren’t alleging that the defendants were behind it.

… [L]ate Friday night, federal prosecutors in New York announced they settled the case with Prevezon, the company accused of buying up “high-end commercial space and luxury apartments” with laundered money.[…]

“What most concerns me is: Has there been any political pressure applied in this?” asked Louise Shelley, an illicit finance expert who was set to testify in support of the US government on Tuesday.

The lawyer who died? Sergei Magnitsky, the guy after whom the Magnitsky Act was named. The law was entirely designed to punish the Russians who let Magnitsky die/murdered Magnitsky in prison. In response to the Magnitsky Act, Russia banned Americans from adopting bouncy Russian babies. Heard anything about bouncy Russian babies this week? Us neither.

A whistle-blower in the case, Alexander Peripilichny, collapsed and died while out for a jog in 2012. He was 44. Another lawyer, Nikolai Gorokhov, who was representing the family of Sergei Magnitsky, “fell out a fourth floor window” in March of this year, THE VERY DAY BEFORE he was supposed to go to a Russian court and “present new evidence that he claims support Magnitsky’s findings of a far-reaching conspiracy to defraud the Russian taxpayer.” Back in 2015, Preet Bharara wrote a letter saying he was worried Russia would try to hurt Gorokhov.

Guess which Russian lawyer was fighting on THE OTHER SIDE of that case, representing Prevezon, the Russian company accused of all the money laundering? YOU’LL NEVER GUESS, so we’ll just tell you it was Natalia Veselnitskaya, the Russian lawyer lady who brought her Russian spy hacker pal to meet with Donald Trump Jr. in Trump Tower in June of 2016, CAN YOU EVEN BELIEVE IT? When the Prevezon case was settled, Veselnitskaya said it was “almost an apology from the [U.S.] government” for even bringing the case in the first place. What’s weird, though, besides how ALL OF THIS IS WEIRD, is that, as Kevin Drum notes at Mother Jones, before the case was suddenly settled, it was “not going well for Prevezon.”

Veselnitskaya is a crusader against the Magnitsky Act, and if you’ll remember, Trump Junior’s first explanation for his Russian meeting was that they talked about BOUNCY RUSSIAN BABIES, which Drum explains is basically code for talking about the Magnitsky Act.

When Marc Kasowitz was bragging about how he got Trump to fire Preet Bharara, he reportedly told Trump, “This guy is going to get you.” Wonder what he meant by that! What did Marc Kasowitz know, and when did he know it? We know Trump’s legal team knew about Junior’s Russian meeting weeks ago, but has Kasowitz been in the know for even longer than that?

Next question! Are you starting to wonder if there’s some sort of connection between Junior Trump Dumpster and his Russian meeting, the settlement of this case, and the firing of Preet Bharara? You are not alone! Kevin Drum of Mother Jones is wondering. Democrats on the House Judiciary Committee are wondering so much that they’ve sent Attorney General Jeff Sessions a letter demanding some fucking answers about all these weird coincidences.

Junior was promised anti-Hillary dirt in this meeting, and though he claims he didn’t get any (PFFFFFFT), the AP reports that Natalia Veselnitskaya surely did bring a folder full of supposed dirt on the DNC. (Hilariously, that AP article says Baby Trump “lost interest” when Veselnitskaya said the Trump campaign “would need to research it more.” Poor baby, nobody ever told him illegally conspiring with Russia would involve work!)

So! WHAT THE EVERLOVING FUCK IS ALL THIS? Was part of Junior’s meeting another kind of conspiracy, where he, Paul Manafort (the campaign manager) and Jared Kushner (the son-in-law at the top of the Trump campaign’s data operation) were promised anti-Hillary dirt in exchange for killing this little bitty money laundering case and getting rid of the rude prosecutor who just wouldn’t drop it?

What kind of alphabet soup of lies and Russian conspiracies are we living in? It’s enough to drive us to drink. Wonkette promises we won’t send you mean emails from the Applebee’s happy hour when we drink, though. We’re not a common Marc Kasowitz (ALLEGEDLY!) after all.

ALLEGEDLY.

This is part 2 of a two part blog post. The first part is here, and it is HILARIOUS.

Wonkette salaries are fully funded by readers like you! If you love us, click below to fund us!

[ProPublica / Mother Jones / CNN]

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  • jesuswasablack
  • Marla

    “What kind of alphabet soup of lies and Russian conspiracies are we living in?”

    The kind of “great America” only a crime family like Trump can deliver. Even the Bush Criminal Empire looks at Trump and says “god damn!”

    • laughingnome

      The Bushes were too clever to have all their misdeeds come out.

      • tomamitai

        43 libelz!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1!!!!

  • Joe Beese

    Seriously, I’m going to have to start a crazy-wall to keep track of all this shit.

    • Three Finger Salute

      With translucent bulletproof plastic and solar panels?

  • Fuck. We’re going to end up with Paul Ryan as President, aren’t we?

    • MynameisBlarney

      Hatch.

      • Wild Cat

        Gonna be too many “Snatch” jokes” . . .

      • Claire

        Hatch has been sketchy about this whole thing too. By the time it’s done the junior senator from Rhode Island is going to get woken up by the Secret Service at four in the morning and told to get in the helicopter.

  • Jenny

    These guys run in the smallest social circle of all time for just so many coincidences to take place.

  • Jenny

    Nooooow is it impeachable? Can we just skip marches and set up protest camps outside our Congress and Senator offices?

    • laughingnome

      Yes!

  • Beanz&Berryz

    OMFG. That’s a metric shit ton of dots getting connected.

    So all is forgiven for that broken early teaser link.

  • chazmanr

    Trump’s biographer has described Trump as the ultimate projectionist. When he accuses someone of wrong doing, he is confessing to having done the exact thing that he is accusing another of. I am beginning to wonder if Trump played a role in the assassination of JFK. This just gets slimier and more despicable every day.

    • Marla

      Yeah, Trump blew Ted Cruz’s father to stay out of Viet Nam

    • JMP

      He projects so much, I’m beginning to suspect Donald was actually born in Kenya and has a fake birth certificate.

  • memzilla Ω

    Working title for the movie that’ll come out when this is all over and done with and they’re in the Federal hoosegow: All the President’s Mensheviks.

    • Snark Tank Full of Resistance

      I think they’ll just go with John Oliver’s suggestion: Stupid Watergate: Where it’s Just Like Watergate, But Everyone’s Stupid.

      • Oblios_Cap

        Dumb and Dumber III

        • AmazingProfessionalCrastinator

          Dumb and Dumber and Even Dumber and Even Dumber Than That

  • Marceline

    I can’t keep track of this shit anymore. I’m just going to watch people talk about Beyonce’s babies.

    • crisptickle

      Bouncy’s babies?

    • MrTusks

      I’m done. Wake me up when the impeachment hearings start.

      • Marceline

        Impeachment hearings will never start. How about we wake you up when we see Bob Mueller do a press conference? Because that will be when shit gets real.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    The case aimed to expose how Russian mobsters allegedly stole $230 million and hid some of the cash in New York City real estate. Also sure to come up was the suspicious death of the Russian lawyer who exposed the alleged fraud, though US prosecutors weren’t alleging that the defendants were behind it.

    Not to mention whose real estate was purchased with that laundered money…

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/4023d0f54cc4a4df1a38c46e499e4773a0bc462e01028ee918dd1806f89d1633.jpg

    • Joe Beese

      Hey, they’re the classiest properties in the city.

      • Covfefe’s Evil Twin

        … if you’re a classless Russian mobster.

        • Werewolf

          Russian mobsters think Dolt 45 is tacky.

          • Raan

            Valentin Dmitrovich Zukovsky wouldn’t be caught dead​ in that post office he turned into a hotel.

  • Anna Rompage

    And now for something even more fucked up beyond belief…

    The Russian lawyer who met with Donad Jr, and was repressing the money laundering case… Here she is, sitting right next to Donad Sr in some sort of meetting that involves the guy who set up Jr’s meeting, Donad’s crazy lawyer, and a guy who is the son of a Russian oligarch that is connected with laundering money here in the US…

    Damn, the anticipation of the release of Mueller’s report is more so than the release of next seasons House of Cards…

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/b2b2622efe5a9833e4f2000cb4441327994638d6460c177f0cdac5ac145ffd66.jpg

    • Rags

      I read that this meeting took place in Trump Tower as well. And who are those weirdos on the wall? And are their eyes moving?

      • cmd resistor

        They kind of look like Big Brother.

    • cmd resistor

      Would that be Michael ‘sez who’ Cohen, who was never in Prague?

      • Covfefe’s Evil Twin

        Says so right on the front of his passport.

    • ariel_gee_398

      I think that was actually not her – that was a woman involved with the pageant. I saw it yesterday and can’t find the source, but this was apparently some pageant meeting in Vegas, I think.

    • Celtic_Gnome

      It’s going to be more entertaining than the Starr Report, even without blowjobs.

  • cmd resistor

    CNN is now reporting that there may have been 2 more people in that non-meeting. http://www.cnn.com/2017/07/14/politics/donald-trump-jr-meeting/index.html

    • Randy Riddle

      Well, the meeting was held in the damn Trump Tower’s conference room and you can comfortably get more than twenty people around that Charles Foster Kane table he’s got in there.

  • memzilla Ω
    • therblig

      those depictions are disgusting and insulting and i couldn’t love them more.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    A whistle-blower in the case, Alexander Peripilichny, collapsed and died while out for a jog in 2012. He was 44.

    Just in case any non-runners were wondering: no, this is not normal FFS…

    https://cdn-webimages.wimages.net/0515381385ff81453953961d9511b62d55411a-wm.jpg?v=3

    • Snark Tank Full of Resistance

      Jim Fixx would disagree.

      • Marla

        Fixx was 50 at the time.

        • Snark Tank Full of Resistance

          And Periwhatshisface was 44. Not that much difference.

          • Marla

            Fixx had a known heart condition that wasn’t diagnosed. What did the autopsy say about this guy?

          • Snark Tank Full of Resistance

            Doesn’t matter. The point is, it really MIGHT be just a heart attack. It happens. I lost a very good friend, also a runner, at age 46, when he went out for a run. His heart condition wasn’t diagnosed, but it happens.

          • Marla

            Yeah, it kind of does matter.

          • Snark Tank Full of Resistance

            What I’m saying is, there’s plenty of ways to die, and if we subscribe a conspiracy-theorist reasoning to EVERYTHING, that’s gonna hurt us in the end. “Well, yeah, but you were wrong about Fact Q, so your theory is complete bullshit!” Don’t ASSume he was murdered, but yes, investigate it.

          • Resistance Fighter Callyson
          • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

            it happens – that guy Bob Harper (?) from Biggest Loser had a heart attack and I used to do his DVD workout and he’s one of the fittest dudes I’ve ever seen.

        • Persistent Tennessee Rain

          And a former heavy smoker

    • mappo

      There was nothing suspicious about it. He merely tripped over some polonium and hit his head.

    • MrTusks

      Whatever. I never exercise and I’m still alive! Explain THAT!

  • laughingnome

    This is complete Bolshevik!

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    What kind of alphabet soup of lies and Russian conspiracies are we living in? It’s enough to drive us to drink.

    The only thing that makes me not wish I hadn’t given up drinking for this fitness challenge I’m on is the sure knowledge that it wouldn’t help…

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/f0682a3e615bab011690b6e31478bf3aa73da67cebbee1d85fc52ab238e44df8.jpg

    • Persistent Tennessee Rain

      I’m not gonna test that theory.

    • Oblios_Cap

      A fitness challenge that doesn’t involve heavy drinking? What will they think of next?

  • SayItWithOtters

    Y’all should be following Sarah Kendzior on the Twitter – she’s been on this for years.

    Also, see Buzzfeed’s mysterious-Russian-deaths series from last month. The story on Peripilichny is batshit-insane.

    https://www.buzzfeed.com/heidiblake/poison-in-the-system?utm_term=.ryMB3pp4W#.is6JEnn7l

    • JMP

      But I don’t do twitter!

  • noodle

    Raise your hand if you think the intelligence community is dropping hints in the press like a gentle morphine drip.

    • Wild Cat

      For personal reasons, I can’t wait til they get to Giuliani and his cohorts’ treason.

      • Oblios_Cap

        That little man will probably fall from his balcony before this is all over.

    • Blackest Noobs

      ive known some spooks in my time….so yeah….it’s probably them cuz honestly you don’t fuck with company men…..you just fucking don’t do that.
      Trump did and this is the results.

  • cmd resistor

    I usually find this Rolling Stone writer kind of over the top, but this particular article giving some background on the whole Magnitsky history, was kind of helpful. http://www.rollingstone.com/politics/news/trump-russia-russiagate-magnitsky-affair-linked-again-w492290

    • suziq

      Matt Taibbi lived and worked as a journalist on Russia for years. She he probably knows what he is talking about!

  • La forza del resistino

    You heard it here first. Colonel Mustardsky in the library with a cossack’s dagger.

    • calliecallie

      Not the library, that’s for smart people. Had to be the bathroom.

      • SigDeFlyinMonky

        Wine cellar….

    • Werewolf

      A Don Cossack, natch.

  • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

    this will all make for a wonderful book and eventual miniseries someday.

    • laughingnome

      If there is a someday.

    • Oblios_Cap

      They can have Shamu play Trump.

  • Covfefe’s Evil Twin

    Are we all becoming that Mel Gibson character in that movie from the 90’s? This can’t possibly be happening. Fuck.

    • catnmus

      I know, right? I was seven when Watergate happened, so I don’t know how “wide” the cesspool was in public at the time that was happening. This SEEMS bigger, but, I’m having trouble believing this will come to anything, since Congress doesn’t seem to care at all. ARE there even three principled Republican senators that would vote to impeach? Not to even mention the House. This entire “conspiracy” could be exposed and they could just say “ehn”.

      • Thiazin Red

        Watergate looks really small compared to this.

        • Rags

          Was there. This is way bigger. Way, way bigger. Way, way way bigger. It’s biggers all the way down.

          • Mildred Broxon

            Besides, Watergate was something of a surprise. This wasn’t.

    • therblig
      • Three Finger Salute

        52 pickup is too complex for him.

    • Oblios_Cap

      “Conspiracy Theory”.

    • theblackdog

      pre-insane Mel or post-insane Mel?

  • This is basically a spy novel written by the hackiest hack who ever hacked.

    • BadKitty904

      I’ve been wondering what Cigarette-Smoking Man has been up to lately…

      • Covfefe’s Evil Twin

        yup. Shonda Rhimes and the guys who write House of Cards are like “no fucking way, dude!”

      • Thiazin Red

        Cancer Man libelz. Cancer Man was a competent professional.

        • BadKitty904

          Truly. He would’ve played these rubes like a toy piano.

    • therblig

      Tweeter, Traitor, Sold Out, Spy

  • BadKitty904

    “…drive us to drink.

    Hells, Evan, it’s only a short stroll for most of us.

    • Sophia

      It’s only a reach to the coffee table anymore. I’ve given up stocking the bar. The walk was too far.

      • BadKitty904

        Don’t forget to buy straws.

      • Three Finger Salute

        Covfefe table*

    • Zombishroom

      on a well-worn path.

      • BadKitty904

        Honestly, if I just lean over and reach a bit…

  • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

    I’m gonna go see “Atomic Blonde”. Compared to this, that should be a simple plot to follow.

    • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

      need moar christopher nolan.

      ; )

  • Ms.MLG on Maui

    Fuck U Wonkette!

    Meet me in the ladies room. You’re Jewish. I’m Jewish.

    It’s 10pm, and I am losing my shit big time.

    Do you know who I am? CALL ME NOW, BITCH.

    Love,

    Marc Kasowitz

    • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

      Poetry. Sheer poetry.

    • theblackdog

      LOL this looks like some of the spam E-mails I have gotten lately.

  • Indiepalin

    In Soviet Russia, you drink and pay lawyer. In America, you pay lawyer to drink for you!

  • laughingnome

    This is too ridiculous for a porno.

  • janecita

    There must be something in the Russian water, that makes all these, seemingly healthy men, die of “natural” causes!

    Hint, it’s plutonium.

  • Randy Riddle

    Well, this is good news for graphic designers at major newspapers who make complicated flowcharts of conspiracies. Allegedly.

  • Blackest Noobs

    so statistically speaking…The Donald hasn’t really had many “good” weeks since becoming President….oh sure sure the bloated fool can pretend nothing has ever been wrong….which is the furthest thing from reality and the truth.

    i guestimate Trump has had maybe 3 good weeks since starting this gig. makes you wonder how much more disappointment will this old wealthy white guy gonna handle….when does he finally go the FULL-PALIN ( be a quitter)???

    • cmd resistor

      But he said he accomplished more in 5 months than any president EVER.

      • Blackest Noobs

        just like he has put out more laws than any President not understanding executive orders are not law…i.e. the next Prez can change that shit.

        • cmd resistor

          Yeah, weren’t most of his undoing ones that Obama had signed?

          • Blackest Noobs

            check out the brain on cmd resistor!!!! you win a prize!!!

      • Covfefe’s Evil Twin

        He’ll almost definitely take the gold medal for most indictments ever.

  • BadKitty904
  • Scooby

    She is probably the only contractor Trump ever paid!

  • BadKitty904

    Where do the Freemasons fit into all this?

    • laughingnome

      They’re all stoned.

    • Beanz&Berryz

      In the chinks in the wall

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        pssst, we don’t use the word chinks anymore. They’re now called the Orientals in the wall.

        • Komsumverweigerer Ron

          It’s ‘Asians’ now. Check this week’s memo.

          • Zippy W Pinhead

            Just like we now call that guy the Native American in the cupboard

          • puredog

            The African-American in the woodpile would like to have a word.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      Next to the Illuminati, just below the Bilderbergs and the Trilateral Commission

      • BadKitty904
        • Zippy W Pinhead

          lol, I was just about to go find that

      • Thiazin Red

        And the Rand Corporation, under the authority of the reverse vampires.

        • Zippy W Pinhead

          and the Harper Valley PTA

    • tomamitai
  • Crystalclear12

    This reads like a spy movie done by lifetime.

    • Covfefe’s Evil Twin

      This reads like a spy movie done by lifetime written while on the brown acid.

      ftfy

    • Tio_Doidinho

      This reads like a spy movie for Lifetime, on brown acid, written by the Coen Brothers.

      • Snark Tank Full of Resistance

        Burn BEFORE Reading

    • Thiazin Red

      As long as the “adoption” stuff counts as stolen babies. I’m pretty sure all Lifetime movies have to have stolen babies in them.

  • Zippy W Pinhead

    Didn’t you hear/ This is all the Dimocrat’s fault! They hired Fusion, they let Natasha into the US and they faked the pee tape! Poor Donnie is the real victim here!

  • Kiri the Unicorn

    Everyone in Trumpworld should be brought in for a nice game of Good Cop/Bad Unicorn.

    • Komsumverweigerer Ron

      Planning on having a pointed discussion, are you?

      • Kiri the Unicorn

        “Here’s how it’s gonna be. We’re gonna take you to the middle of a big open field and turn you loose. You will have five seconds to either start talking or start running. I don’t care which.”

    • sw19covfefe

      There are bad unicorns?

      • Kiri the Unicorn

        Not specifically, but these people make me feel stabby.

  • La forza del resistino

    I like mystery novels, but when characters with names like ‘Roman Abramovich, Alexander Abramov, Oleg Deripaska, Mikhail Fridman, Mikhail Prokhorov, Alisher Usmanov, German Khan, Viktor Vekselberg, Leonid Mikhelson, Vagit Alekperov, Pyotr Aven, Vladimir Potanin and Vitaly Malkin’ get added to the plot, I get confused.

    • laughingnome

      It’s like reading Tolstoy, but not really.

      • Covfefe’s Evil Twin

        Drumpf’s campaign had more Russian characters than ‘War and Peace.’

        h/t Charlie Pierce

        • Randy Riddle

          This administration has more Russians than a Stalinist musical about dancing tractors.

    • Snark Tank Full of Resistance
    • Thiazin Red

      That reminds me of the opening number of Natasha, Pierre and the Great Comet. One of the lyrics is something like “Its a complicated Russian novel, everyone’s got 10 different names”.

    • Mpeg
  • JMP

    Bah, this is nothing compared to having a perfectly legal private email server, which is the truly scandalous action for some vague reason.

    • SterWonk

      Which was never hacked, BTW.

  • MynameisBlarney
    • Komsumverweigerer Ron

      In 200 years, students will be researching something in the Record and will come across this. They will look at each other and say, ‘What the FUCK, man?’

  • calliecallie

    Hard to keep track of all this without some kind of scorecard.

    • BadKitty904

      Or court docket.

      • Panika MCD

        or bingo sheet.

        • MynameisBlarney

          Or stone tablet.

          • Oblios_Cap

            You can get one, coincidently, at Hobby Lobby.

          • Zippy W Pinhead

            NOT ANY MORE!

    • Raan

      Programs! Get your programs here! Can’t tell one act of treason from another without a program!

      • cmd resistor

        The programs could come with the baseball scorecard to fill in. Something I always wanted to learn but didn’t.

    • Fartknocker
  • Baconzgood

    This is starting to look really really bad.

  • Panika MCD

    so how did Drunky McEmailer connect to the money laundering case other than bragging he got an AUSA fired…? STAY TUNED!

  • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

    OT: Campus carry comes to my community college next month (it’s been legal on university campuses for a year), now this!:

    FORT WORTH, Texas — Bowie knives, swords, spears, daggers and machetes, all of which have been illegal to carry in Texas for years, will be back on the streets beginning Sept. 1.

    Any knife sporting a blade longer than 5 { inches will now be legal to carry in the state — a few restricted areas remain — under a plan approved by Texas lawmakers and signed into law by Republican Gov. Greg Abbott.

    “This bill simplifies the complexity in our current knife laws, which can be confusing for Texans,” state Rep. John Frullo, a Lubbock Republican who sponsored House Bill 1935, has said.

    • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

      But if your black with a “spring loaded” knife, you sill can be shot.

      • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

        black with a cell phone gets ya shot.

        • Randy Riddle

          Black with nothing gets you shot.

          • CindyinEncinitas

            Skittles.

        • Zippy W Pinhead

          or Skittles

        • Komsumverweigerer Ron

          Hey, it MIGHT have a sharp edge somewhere!

    • janecita

      Man, Texas scares the living hell out of me! I don’t ever want to visit.

      • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

        we’re actually quite nice! ya just gotta stay away from the crazy pants parts (consult your local texan for advice).

        • Panika MCD

          the border and the cities are quite nice! Hill Country is great, but you should bring along a translator.

        • Zippy W Pinhead

          so basically Austin and downtown Dallas

          • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

            see Panika below! (and downtown dallas can be kinda scary, it’s been awhile.)

          • Panika MCD

            it’s gotten better with the reforms Chief Brown started. hope they continue with his plan.

            if someone could explain to me why it’s a count against a police chief that’s trying to reform a department that the police union doesn’t like them, I’m all ears. I generally expect the unions to not be wild about changing things when the chief says, “I’m not your friend, I’m your boss.”

          • Zippy W Pinhead

            OK, how about deep ellum?

          • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

            deep ellum was sketchy when i was there 20 years ago, it may be all touristy these days.

          • Zippy W Pinhead

            I also like San Antonio

          • Panika MCD

            it’s right across the street from the Baylor University Medical Center.

          • Oblios_Cap

            .I like San Antonio, but I haven’t been there since 1977.

          • Panika MCD

            it’s gotten a lot bigger, but still has the best traditional Mexican food outside the RGV. Austin still has better tacos in general–but they’re not traditional.

          • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

            austin’s fusion/updated mexican food can die in a fire.

          • Panika MCD

            it’s delicious and you know it!

          • TX Dept. of Space Tacos
          • Panika MCD

            why would you just get the queso and not the mud? that’s just fuckin’ weird. you don’t get the crack without the mud.

          • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

            black beans do not belong in anything!

          • Panika MCD

            you are WRONG.

          • Snark Tank Full of Resistance

            Dallas sucks. But there are pockets of South Texas that are practically purple.

          • Zippy W Pinhead

            The parts I end up in for work are pretty nice- but that’s mainly because those corporations hiring us only stay in the nice parts of any city

          • SterWonk

            Houston, also too.

          • Zippy W Pinhead

            too humid and I hate Poppy Bush airport

          • SterWonk

            I agree about the humidity. IAH was / is my “home” airport, so I’m used to it. I wasn’t particularly thrilled when they named it after GHWB though.

          • Zippy W Pinhead

            it’s an oversized tuffshed

      • Angela Ruzzo

        Austin is OK, just avoid rush hour traffic.

    • Oblios_Cap

      Man, what could possibly go wrong?

      • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

        sword vs. gun fight in the campus cafeteria?

        • Panika MCD

          or more knife attacks like the one last spring at UT…

          • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

            i can’t believe there hasn’t been a mass shooting yet at UT…that place is a PERFECT Call of Duty multiplayer map.

          • Panika MCD

            you mean since the passage of SB11, right?

          • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

            the campus carry bill?

          • Panika MCD

            yes. because obviously UT has had a mass shooting.

          • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

            ah, yeah, fair point.

            pedant!
            ; )

          • puredog

            Well, that is, if you don’t count the FIRST mass shooting some fifty years ago.

        • therblig

          “Animal House” would have been a very different film if set in Texas.

          • Komsumverweigerer Ron

            Considerably shorter, too.

          • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

            see: Friday Night Lights (the movie).

        • Fartknocker

          FYI, that’s on the Top 3 things we train on at the Fire Station. Fun fact: I am on staff assignment in Special Ops working a 40 hr week and no longer riding on Big Red trucks. But my office is 2 miles from UT library bldg. So if poop goes down, I can hear the shots from my office.

          • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

            yay?

            Seriously though, good on ya. (we had 2 libraries, but i’m assuming you mean the really big bastard across the street from jester).

          • Fartknocker

            The library on damn near every Austin and UT postcard – yup that’s the one.

        • Blackest Noobs

          be cool if we lived in a reality where a swordsman could block bullets with his blade BUT we don’t live in such a reality.

          sword dude would be dead before you say hey you…you dead.

          • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

            eh, assumes the person is actually a good shot.

            More likely they’ll kill some single parent trying to get their nursing degree.

            And now I’m sad.

        • Angela Ruzzo
    • Wuulf

      Are we gonna use samurai rules now?

    • Panika MCD

      that’s because they named the Bowie knife the state knife. but they really could have stopped at just making it legal to have a Bowie knife. Huffines (aka the guy that yelled at those high school students) and Frullo would not stand for other blades not being allowed even though Bowie knives were named separately in the code from knives over 5.5 in. long.

    • mackafritz

      Are there actually people who want to walk around carrying a spear?

      • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

        lol, see my comment just below.

      • Panika MCD

        I had a friend at UAF who made a bear spear in metal shop. it got added to the list of things you can store at the campus PD while you’re in class because he was driving around campus with it sticking out of the back of his Jeep.

      • Angela Ruzzo

        Yes. I would love to walk around town with my African spear. It makes a great walking stick, and is a thing of beauty.

    • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

      heh, update – the TX mom and I were just discussing this (i mentioned i kinda want to walk around with a long ass spear like the hunter dudes in africa).

      When I mentioned the machetes, this was her reply:

      “I’ve got a great steel machete in the garage.”

      • Angela Ruzzo

        I actually have a long spear from Africa, with a wicked 12″-long metal spear head and a 6′-long shaft that my father brought home from his job in Africa 50 years ago. I keep it propped up behind the headboard of my bed, and if anyone breaks in, they will be “ventilated.” I can’t wait to see the headlines in the local newspaper the next day – “Senior citizen spears burglar.” Believe it or not, 50 years ago my father was allowed to carry this on the plane when he flew home as long as he wrapped a towel tightly around the spear head and secured it with strong cord.

        • SterWonk

          I am reminded of the scene in Dave in which the (supposedly unstable) VP is introduced.

          • Angela Ruzzo

            I’m rather surprised that this film has not been re-released in theaters since the inauguration – but I am dating myself by even thinking this. They don’t do that anymore, they just sell it to Netflix.

    • Komsumverweigerer Ron

      At least, I can visit Amarillo!
      – Arthur, King of the Britons

    • Raan

      I can’t wait for a Nazi to get chopped in half by a dude with a buster sword.

    • cmd resistor

      Thanks, Texas, for making Florida not the only insane state.

    • puredog

      Texas law now same as Westeros’s: “Stick ’em with the pointy end.”

  • calliecallie

    Evan was right, there really are new drips on this ever couple of hours. Dang!

    • cmd resistor

      Isn’t there often a 5 pm Friday bombshell, also, too?

  • Oblios_Cap

    Wonkette promises we won’t send you mean emails from the Applebee’s happy hour when we drink

    And for God’s sake, please don’t spill your drink on the sneeze guard of the salad bar.

    • Covfefe’s Evil Twin

      Don’t worry, Bobo is in to Messican restaurants these days.

  • Vincent Ricola

    Nothingburger! Just because there are over 7 billion people on the planet and these criminal Trump fucks keep accidentally meeting up with and doing favors for the same few criminal Russian fucks doesn’t mean anything. Collusion isn’t illegal. Donald’s crowds are the biggest. Have you even called Sean Hannity? Please move along now.

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      Hysterical! You’re all just getting hysterical!

      • Vincent Ricola

        Focus on the positive things he’s done, like having great crowds and doing tremendous rallies. Why won’t anyone talk about policy?!

      • Snark Tank Full of Resistance

        And wet!

  • Randy Riddle

    Breaking: Now CNN’s saying there were _eight_ people in the room during Junior’s meeting with Boris and Natashia.
    http://www.cnn.com/2017/07/14/politics/donald-trump-jr-meeting/index.html

    • BadKitty904

      I hope there was danish and coffee.

      • Wild Cat

        A samovar and some fish dumplings, heathen!

      • therblig

        the Danes are in on this too?

        • BadKitty904

          Well, once Vlad declares them part of the Russian motherland…

        • Biel_ze_Bubba

          To be in on it, or not to be in on it . . . they’re undecided.

      • Three Finger Salute

        No. White Russian and covfefe.

      • theblackdog

        Punch and Pie?

        • BadKitty904

          Yes, please!

      • CindyinEncinitas

        Well, we know there were no Krispy Kremes in there…unless a certain governor was in the room…

    • laughingnome

      Raise your hand if you were NOT in the meeting?

      • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

        Okay I was there, but left to get Cool Ranch soda so NO COLLUSION YOU ARE the Collusion.

        • theblackdog

          Cool Ranch soda? Bleh!

    • Bill D. Burger
    • La forza del resistino

      My exhaustive Google translate research for WTF in Russian returned –
      Chto za chert

    • tomamitai

      Including Moose & Squirrel?

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      Like one of those nesting dolls. Open one and you find another.

    • BadKitty904

      Because if you want to keep a conspiracy secret, you naturally invite everyone you know or have met…

      • JMP

        That’s the trouble with these wide-ranging conspiracies; someone always talks, and no matter how clever the conspirators think they are, they always get found out sooner or later, just as Nixon’s gang was caught and the Trumps are being caught now. It’s part of why conspiracy theories are such bullshit; if there really were giant groups behind faking the moon landing or the JFK assassination, someone would have talked by now.

    • Wild Cat

      So, what’s wrong with a little “Eight is Enough” cosplay?

  • Reximus
  • BadKitty904

    John le Carré needs to cut it out with this trolling shit…

  • weejee

    Don’t know squat about the law, but it would seem reasonable that everyone Sessions give a settlement pass, double jeopardy would prevent them being legally lassoed in 2020 when the Shitgibbons get tossed from office.

    • puredog

      Well, double jeopardy is a criminal law concept, and I believe the settled case was civil in nature. However, if it was dismissed “with prejudice” and that dismissal stands, the same case could not be brought again. It may be that some similar case could be brought against someone/somebodies, maybe even some of the same somebodies, perhaps under a different legal theory. All I can guarantee is that any attempt to do so would be a financial boon to the lawyers litigating whether such a suit could be maintained.

      • weejee

        settled case was civil in nature

        But, but, there is nothing civil about either Sessions or tRump!

        • tomamitai

          Except for all the civil war traitors the tree elf is named after.

      • tomamitai

        What would the world be like without lawyers? Let’s find out! (with votes) It couldn’t possibly be worse than a world without zinc oxide. https://youtu.be/oAJ4XVmI4dc

  • Three Finger Salute

    Hunter S. Thompson and the guys in the Monty Python cast couldn’t come up with a story so bizarre if they each swallowed a bucket of LSD. The universe itself is tripping. Maybe even screeching and thrashing in drive failure, so much so that the mechanisms are starting to fly apart.

    • Randy Riddle

      In the sixties, we were in the Age of Aquarius.

      Now, we’re in the Age of OHMYFUCKINGHOLYGODWHATISTHISSHIT.

      • Wild Cat

        “DJT
        Took the IRT
        Down to 4th Street USA
        When he got there
        What did he see?
        The youth of America
        Watching his agents pee.”

      • Angela Ruzzo

        Here’s the astonishing thing. Back in the 70’s and 80’s, whenever something would go mysteriously wrong in any of the offices I worked in, such as files disappearing and then suddenly reappearing, or the coffee pot blowing up, we would jokingly blame the KGB. Then the USSR fell and we couldn’t blame the KGB any longer, so we started blaming Gremlins. And now, holy shit, we really can blame Russia for fucking everything up, it’s no longer an office joke. If I’d read all this in a book 30 years ago I would have laughed, but it’s not funny now.

    • Vecchioivan

      It’s the Moronic Convergence.

    • puredog

      “YE GODS, THE BATS!!!”

    • BadKitty904
  • WomanInThePersistence

    *whispers* can we please have at least one thread without so much Trump in It? Pleeeeeaaaaase?

    • I think we all need an emergency Fiona update. With extra dick jokes, please.

      • puredog

        I think Fiona may have bit on the Sessions story:

        https://twistedsifter.files.wordpress.com/2017/07/shirk-jr-15.gif

        • janecita

          Fiona is such a sweetie pie!

          • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

            “Ah zoo person, I have you with my mighty jaws.” – Fiona

          • Persistent Demme

            Yeah, she’s really terrifying.
            Like my two 15lb. “guard-dogs!”

        • Msgr_MΩment

          WE DEMAND DONNA ROSE / FIONA PLAY DATE!!

      • therblig

        fiona’s a good girl. you shut your whore mouth!

    • Snark Tank Full of Resistance

      I posted elsewhere that the woman who laughed at Jeff Sessions got her conviction overturned, but nobody’s bit on it yet.

      • kareemachan

        They’re gonna retry her. Sigh.

      • Angela Ruzzo

        I just read that. But the judge ordered a new trial, alas, which means she will have to keep paying lawyers. The whole thing is idiotic, since laughter is a biological imperative, like going to the toilet, and when the urge kicks in there is no convenient way to stop it.

    • rosenbomb

      The Trump Fatigue is strong today.

      • WomanInThePersistence

        Everyday, really. But I’m trying to take a a Trumpcation. Because sanity.

        • rosenbomb

          Trumpcations are important. I’m looking forward to camping tomorrow with no cell reception

          • therblig

            make sure to dig your latrine downwind, for when you take a trump.

    • Komsumverweigerer Ron

      What about Trump, Paul, McConnell and Trump? That’s not got much Trump in it.

      • WomanInThePersistence

        Well played.

      • Fine. And now my coffee’s gone out of my nose. . .

        • Komsumverweigerer Ron

          With or without the cup?

  • Komsumverweigerer Ron

    Ye gods and little fishes…
    But something puzzles me: where’s the cut-outs? Where’s the deniability? These clowns set the whole thing up practically IN PUBLIC as if they didn’t think anyone would be paying attention. Were they so certain that the American public wouldn’t find out? Or did they just figure that said public wouldn’t much care?
    Seriously, these people, Russian spies and American traitors, give real intelligence operatives a bad name.

    • Thiazin Red

      Why would he think otherwise? Hes been able to bully and bluff his way out of things without really seeing consequences his entire life. Why would he think it would be different now?

      • Ms.MLG on Maui

        That makes a lot of sense.

      • Komsumverweigerer Ron

        Oh, I can buy the Drumpf crime family thinking this, but their Russian counterparts I would credit with SOME tradecraft.

        • But Putin has been bragging about how he could do this for years. He wants the credit.

          • tomamitai

            ^^^^This! He hates Hillary, and wants to make sure she knows who fucked her over.

        • Jamoche

          I’m wondering if that’s why the meeting was so short: they realized Donnie Jr wasn’t getting the hints about Russian babbies, so they sent him on his way and tried again with someone else.

        • Angela Ruzzo

          There are people who believe this is a kind of double-bluff, that the Russians were using Trump because they know he and his entourage are idiots, thereby setting Trump up for some nefarious purpose of their own, such as throwing the US government and economy into utter turmoil, breaking down long-standing relationships with our allies, and possibly destroying NATO. I suppose this is not impossible.

        • kareemachan

          Maybe they didn’t care if it did come out. Either way, it would seem to be a win/win for them. Either they eff up the election and make monies off of the drumpsters, or they get to show what buffoons the drumpster & co are.

        • Rags

          But they did use good tradecraft. Bait the little fishies, they bite, find out it’s a plastic worm. Too late, they are now compromat. Reel them in at leisure.

          • Komsumverweigerer Ron

            But isn’t this supposed to happen sub rosa rather than on Rachel Maddow?

      • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

        There’s also the They Never Expected To Win Theory- they could set up their grift network and have a ready made audience and a perpetual source of crap conspiracy on the Clinton’s.

      • Jamoche

        I caught a marathon of the Untouchables TV series, and even allowing for the spin to make our heroes look good, a lot of those mobsters were really dumb. Like, common Trump dumb. They’d move into a small town or insular NYC neighborhood, intimidate the fuck out of the locals, and then think the same thing would keep working when the feds came along.

    • Persistent Tennessee Rain

      Hubris

      • Msgr_MΩment

        Cocaine.

  • Wild Cat

    “We Are All Blini Now.”

  • Re Peter Smith’s suicide

    http://www.rawstory.com/2017/07/gop-operative-who-tried-to-get-hill

    the suicide note, per the Chicago Trib: There was no foul play”

    • girlscientist

      Anybody else here annoyed that they chose a picture of Hillary Clinton looking sinister with the article? I mean, come on, people…

      • tomamitai

        Which article where? The rawstory link leads to a page with nothing but a link to a mediaite article (and a zillion ads), and I didn’t see a picture of Hillary on the mediaite or the Chicago tribune pages.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Well, kiddos. Nothing to see here.
      Move along.

  • Riley Whodat Venable

    There was at least one other person in the Russian Lawyer, Jr., Jared, and Manafort meeting.
    His name? Rinat Ahkmetshin

    http://heavy.com/news/2017/07/rinat-akhmetshin-russian-spy-trump-jr-intelligence-officer-spy-fusion-gps-natalia-veselnitskaya-denis-katsyv/comment-page-1/#comments

    • Bill D. Burger

      Oh, there are more now. They’re falling out of the sky!

      Trump Tower Russia meeting: At least EIGHT people in the room
      By CNN staff
      Updated 2:46 PM ET, Fri July 14, 2017

      So far acknowledged in attendance: Trump Jr., Kushner, Manafort, Russian lawyer Natalia Veselnitskaya, Akhmetshin and publicist Rob Goldstone, who helped set up the meeting. A source familiar with the circumstances told CNN there were at least two other people in the room as well, a translator and a representative of the Russian family who had asked Goldstone to set up the meeting

      http://www.cnn.com/2017/07/14/politics/donald-trump-jr-meeting/index.html

      • laughingnome

        Yeah but only 5 stayed for the orgy.

        • unionthuggery

          Russian milf takes on 4 old guys. I’m pretty sure I’ve seen that listed on pornhub.

      • Persistent Tennessee Rain

        I, for one, am so grateful for Donnie Juneyoor’s transparency.

      • Oblios_Cap

        I’m sure the NSA tapes will tell us who they were.

        • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

          WIRE TAPPPPPPS!!!!!

          Trump will claim being vindicated.

      • cmd resistor

        So would that be the Russian Eminem guy?
        And, of course, the translator could have been wearing 2 hats, right? Translator/Spy?

        • Werewolf

          Since Natasha Fatale, Esq., speaks English, presumably.

  • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

    We are going to need one of those Glen Beck style white boards to keep track of all this.

  • beingreleased
    • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

      Called it!

    • Vincent Ricola

      How timely of WaPo, what with Game of Thrones coming back on Sunday and all.

    • La forza del resistino

      There goes my business plan for affordable winged Pegasus pony rides.

    • unionthuggery

      I once started building a trebuchet in my garage, never finished it.

    • BadKitty904
      • Rags

        Wrong wrong wrong. Sauron’s army uses CATAPULTS. The defenders use more advanced trebuchets. Colbert haz a disapoint in u.

        • BadKitty904

          I believe that’s from Game of Thrones, isn’t it?

          • Rags

            sorry – no have hbo. still, interesting nuance from LOTR…..

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        Best. Go-Pro. Footage. Evar.

    • kareemachan

      Pumpkin chucking!

      • beingreleased

        Are you from Delaware?

    • Rags

      So cool – that is in the moat around the Tower of London. It is powered by people grabbing the rope and throwing themselves to the ground – and I got to do it!

  • Indiepalin

    Trump’s lawyer team now includes baseball greats Ty Cobb and Mickey Mantle.

  • Angela Ruzzo

    If we were talking here about a little legal case in Small Claims Court in Peoria, then a chain of strange coincidences would almost certainly be just that – strange coincidences. But at the level of power and money that the Prevezon case entails, one coincidence would be odd, two would be highly suspicious, and three or four would be totally unbelievable.

    • Werewolf

      Once is happenstance, twice is coincidence, three times is enemy action.

  • Crystalclear12

    Poor Mueller, this investigation must be like cleaning out a hoarder’s house.
    Where the hell do you start?!

    • Panika MCD

      you have to get the stuff that is toxic out first. duh. otherwise you’ll be breathing in ammonia fumes while you’re trying to sort through everything out.

    • WomanInThePersistence

      Paging Matt Paxton!

    • msanthropesmr

      There’s catshit everywhere.

      • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

        And that’s the GOOD news.

    • proudgrampa

      First, you rent a dumpster. A BIG dumpster.

      • ThatGuy

        And then you have a fire. A BIGLY fire.

    • georgiaburning

      I’d like to say matches and gasoline, but my real life experience says call for the biggest dumpster you can fit

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      Personally, I’d check the crawlspace first.

    • OddMan

      Excellent metaphor.

    • Gayer Than Thou

      I’ve learned from experience that you do not want the hoarder in the same room with you when you are trying to clean that mess. They will get in the way of every single thing.

  • Persistent Tennessee Rain

    Man, we really dodged a bullet by not electing “Crooked Hillary.” Whewf.

    • unionthuggery

      Butter emails!

    • bookish

      Imagine the mess we’d be in if we had an experienced, steady, boring, cautious grind like Hilz at the helm.

      I could cry.

    • Covfefe’s Evil Twin

      I have to admit that I am getting a little tired of all this winning.

    • proudgrampa

      Thank goodness, what?

  • Jennifer R

    This sounds a lot less far fetched than it did in early January.
    http://www.bbc.com/news/world-us-canada-38589427

  • LiPao

    From Putin’s Russia to England and to the USA next. Maybe it’s already here.
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tyop0d30UqQ

    • Michael R

      You’d think when we know these things we could change them , but no one ever gets held responsible for anything now .

    • commatoes

      The Russians had a “cyber security” conference a few years ago where there was a panel that discussed information technology as the new front in warfare. The FSB rep claimed that Russia was poised to be a leader on this new battle front.

  • kareemachan

    And let’s not forget the role May played in the UK to NOT investigate suspicious deaths…

  • bookish

    https://www.theatlantic.com/politics/archive/2017/07/the-trump-familys-increasingly-implausible-explanations/533682/

    The account that the Trumps are offering is implausible on three counts. First, it is challenging to believe on its face, as I wrote earlier this week, that Trump Sr. would never have been told about the meeting. Second, the continued flow of new revelations itself suggests that whatever story the principals are peddling should be considered incomplete by default. Finally, the specifics of the string of new revelations about who attended the meeting and when it came to light make the story seem increasingly improbable.

    • Johnny Appleseed

      I agree on all counts. He’s far too much of a micro-manager to have not known about who was going and what was to be discussed. It’s just not possible.

  • Anna Rompage

    Did anyone notice the fact that Preet Bharara was in the audience of Comey’s congressional hearing?

    If I were Trump, I would divert Air Force One and have them drop me off in a nice little African country that is run by a despot, and doesn’t have extradition agreements with the US…

    • Oblios_Cap

      He could feed a village for a week.

      • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

        Dude, that’s worse than ebola tainted bush meat.

      • BearDeLaOursistance

        One suspects the villagers would rather take their chances with the grasspea.

      • MrTusks

        He’d be good for candles and lamp oil!

    • georgiaburning

      Actually landing the plane isn’t necessary

  • Michael R
    • Bill D. Burger
    • Joe Beese

      Please accept the thanks of a grateful nation.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      I wonder if the Congressional Record will matter more, in the future, than the billion copies that are already floating about, seemingly for eternity, on the Internet.

      • Michael R

        Something about have things on records and lying UNDER OATH helps with impeachment , whereas currently they lie all day long without consequence .

  • La forza del resistino

    Reduced to my last Russian joke – ‘what came first, the Chechen or the Faberge egg’ I’ll let my self out and seek out that bowl of borscht.

  • BadKitty904
    • Oblios_Cap

      Circular logic of the nth degree.

    • BadKitty904

      DANGER: Republicans at Work…

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      make no mistake- this was intentional

  • Jgb979

    It just stands to wonder at this point:

    If Putin was going to make a year’s long attempt to covertly take over the US government.

    Why the fuck would he choose this bunch of chucklefucks as puppets???

    (Small pleasures in knowing how crazy it must be making him watching these idiots smash their heads together)

    • Oblios_Cap

      Because no one else would put themselves out there.

    • Jamoche

      Can you find another puppet who’d be so oblivious about it?

    • BadKitty904

      I think his goal was/is internal chaos in the U.S. and the reduction of American influence and presence overseas. And, thanks to his GOP collaborators, he’s succeeding, hands down.

      • Jgb979

        I guess this was the worst case scenario:

        If Donald was as much of an idiot as he seems (and he is), he wouldn’t get the sanctions reduced but America would be a laughing stock on the global stage.

        Parts 2-10 of his plan involved replacing competent leadership in Europe with Nazi boobs but somehow that seems to have gone by the wayside after Trump

        • BadKitty904

          I suspect European politicians may not be as easy to con as Republicans.

          • commatoes

            They have learned the lessons of the US and UK. France expected that sudden data dump the day before election day but the French populace realised that the info contained fake documents and was leaked for the purpose of swaying the election. They asked themselves “cui bono?”

          • BadKitty904

            I wish the US would learn “the lessons of the US and UK.”

        • BearDeLaOursistance

          Nazi boobs? You leave Ilsa the She-Wolf out of this!!1!

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        Yup, throw the dice and hope you get your wish list filled, at worst you get some of it and destroy the biggest player on the planet in the process.

        THANKS REPUBLICANS!

    • Beowoof14

      The others were smart enough to avoid Putin and prison time. Trump on the other hand, tell him he’s a star and viola he’s doing your bidding. (or loan his failing businesses big piles of money, and then tell him he better get elected because he owes big bucks and if he doesn’t pay back then it’s the polonium soup).

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      Because he’d have a relatively dimwitted puppet at his disposal who happens to be firmly on a short leash thanks to those yooge debts and because if worst comes to worst and the whole fucking mess blows up, it disrupts our democracy and damages us to the point that we will be weakened for years, if not decades.

    • Fartknocker

      And I predict at the end of this shitshow two possible outcomes:
      1) Jared will default $0.5 billion on his 666 Park Avenue condos and Putin Co. will purchase it from the courts for pennies on the dollar.
      2) The National Hurricane Center will dedicate 2019 to impeached Presidents and family members and name tropical storms after that Trump clan as a reminder that atmospheric scientists are fun and provide for public safety so don’t fuck the Department of Commerce.

      • AnnieGetYerFun

        Here’s what I don’t get: there’s a Jewish kid who owns a building with the address 666 and the wingnuts aren’t losing their minds?

    • commatoes

      I think that the English translation of the Russian is “convenient idiot”. The KGB/FSB are very adept at using dimwitted assets.

    • Angela Ruzzo

      Why not choose these chucklefucks? They are easy to manipulate. They practically do Putin’s work for him.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      They were too stoopid to realize they were gonna get stiffed?

  • Beowoof14

    I’ve been saying WTF since the orange moron rode down the escalator to a crowd of paid cheering goofballs. My outlook on this hasn’t changed.

    • BadKitty904

      A Sensible Policy for a Better America.

      • girlscientist

        Make America Clean Again

        • Oblios_Cap

          Outlaw Escalators!

          • Peripatetic Poltroon

            When escalators are outlawed, only outlaws will have escalators.

    • msanthropesmr

      It’s a good outlook. Well, not good, per se, bu appropriate.

  • TheGrandWazoo2

    These nothingburgers must be fattening, ‘cuz they sure are delicious.

    • Reximus

      it’s not the burgers, it’s the Traitor Tots that get you

      • TakingAmes

        Where’s the recipe? I was told this was a recipe blog. I need Traitor Tots!

  • msanthropesmr

    I think the lesson here kids is – “Don’t piss off the intelligence services”

    • Johnny Appleseed

      Just a little stupid, isn’t it?

    • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

      or the FBI.

    • commatoes

      We hold these truths to be self-evident….

      Literally the people that know where the bodies are buried and the FBI, the people that find the buried bodies.

  • msanthropesmr

    Sure, understanding today’s complex world of the future is a little like having bees live in your head. But, there they are.

    —The Honorable Chester Cadaver

    • beingreleased

      Was he the eponymous “Cadaver”?

    • therblig

      I say live it or live with it!

      • msanthropesmr

        The future is scary – it smells like the ocean – a body of water – to isolate England.

    • John Thorstensen

      Trailer bikes, chigger bites, and mos-kwee-tos collided aimlessly in the dense gas.

      • Nockular cavity

        And so, wherever he went, Man deposited a rich load of knowledge…

  • MynameisBlarney
    • Oblios_Cap

      He has 5 kids? That poor wife of his.

      • Snark Tank Full of Resistance

        His wife has 5 kids. Jury’s still out on how many of them are Junior’s.

        • Reximus

          They’re Ofdonald’s

          • Angela Ruzzo

            Yuck, I’d rather be sent to the Colonies than be Ofdonald.

          • MrTusks

            Obviously, like any good liege, Big Don practices prima nocte with any brides under his rule. Ivanka is not excused.

      • BadKitty904

        How many of them are Russian adoptees?

        • Oblios_Cap

          AOT;K

      • girlscientist

        Yep, I hope she has a supportive family who will help her raise them while her idiot husband is behind bars.

      • Reximus

        or their poor Handmaid

      • commatoes

        How else does he prove that he is NOT a genital deficient giant Ken Doll™ made in the image of Gordon Gekko from the movie “Wall Street”?

      • BearDeLaOursistance

        He has to fit in with the theme of the NKVD / KGB / FSB reality show, “24 Million and Counting”.

  • ziggywiggy

    It’s gone from shitshow to dumpster fire to dumpster going over the cliff being pushed by monkeys infected with the Rage Virus jamboree.

    • msanthropesmr

      Disney’s worst goddam ride.

      • Joe Beese

        And it was an E ticket!

        • grindstone

          Sit next to me, oldster.

    • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

      infected monkeys libelz!

      Sorry, couldn’t help it. Love that movie.

      • msanthropesmr

        Planet of the apes is a good one.

        • commatoes

          Wahlberg libelz!!

          I am so very sorry.

    • laughingnome

      Rage Virus Jamboree is the name of my new Banjo Blue Grass Chainsaw Industrial band

      • ziggywiggy

        That’s gonna have some killer songs on it.

        • proudgrampa

          Nyuk.

          Well played!

    • armed_bears

      Nice image, but understated for this instance…

    • Angela Ruzzo

      This scene from Wizard of Oz keeps popping into my head. It scared the shit out of me when I was 3 years old.
      https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=o-xSe3bdxwo#t=5

    • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

      At the bottom of the cliff: sharp rocks in a lake of radioactive hooker pee, with Putin playing the role of Don Jr. playing the role of Goatse Standing On The Rocks, Showing his Alternative Vegan Butthole.

  • bookish

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-4697784/Did-Jared-leak-Donald-Trump-Jr-meeting-emails.html

    But what is still unknown is who leaked the fact of the meeting and, even worse, the explosive emails between the president’s son and the portly British Svengali who offered the dirt on Hillary.

    So who started plunged a knife into Don Jr by starting Spygateski – and who has means, motive, AND opportunity?

    • msanthropesmr

      Tiffany?

      • commatoes

        Tiffany libelz!!1!!

    • BigCSouthside

      Bannon, trying to get rid of J Kush

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        or Jared himself, hoping to shift attention to Fredo

        • BigCSouthside

          Kinda worked

    • Snark Tank Full of Resistance

      QUIT SHIFTING THE TOPIC! Leaking is far less important than treason.

    • Reximus

      I read one of the committees has had this info since April, so probably Manafort

      • Werewolf

        More likely a Fibbie who has access to what Manafort has been telling Mueller.

    • Joe Beese

      Motive: anyone who ever met these shits

      • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

        Shit, motive could very well be “look at his fuckin’ smug-ass face.”

    • osceola

      The leaker was Baron Trump. He and his mother are packing as we speak, securing fake IDs, the whole thing.

    • MrTusks

      Was Jared copied on the emails? I’d start there.

  • Bill D. Burger
  • Bill D. Burger
  • TundraGrifter

    There are something like 200 nations on the face of this earth – but time after time after time Trump and his minions only had time to be involved with one.

    Odd?

    • laughingnome

      Two if you count ‘merica

      • Snark Tank Full of Resistance

        Counting ‘Murica and Russia, that would make one country Dampnut had time to be involved with.

  • Jamoche

    On some great and glorious day the plain folks of the land will reach their heart’s desire at last, and the White House will be adorned by a downright moron. – H. L. Mencken

    Not coincidentally, the new Fountainhead post is up.
    http://www.patheos.com/blogs/daylightatheism/2017/07/fountainhead-job-hopper/

  • Bill D. Burger
  • armed_bears

    Ya think Capone would regret doing his crime the hard way?

  • Bill D. Burger
  • Bill D. Burger
    • bookish

      Cozy, but I think it will work.

  • Bill D. Burger
  • bookish

    http://www.newsweek.com/now-eric-trump-accused-stealing-cancer-charity-636044

    The feel-good event consists of a one-day golf outing in September at a Trump-owned country club in Westchester, New York. Eric Trump claimed the charity would be able to use the Trump course “free of charge” and have the other costs donated. As Forbes reports, that was a lie.

    Foundation filings reviewed by Forbes show the Trump organization received more than $1.2 million from the charity for the annual one-day use of the course over the past decade. They also showed that $500,000 of the funds raised at the event over the years was re-donated to other charities, not put towards children’s cancer research.

    The Forbes story was enough to prompt the New York Attorney General Eric Schneiderman to open an investigation into the allegations of self-dealing by the Eric Trump Foundation.

  • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

    “What’s a little betrayal of country between friends?”

    “I don’t know…”

    “There’s money to be m..”

    “I’M IN!”

  • whitroth

    Y’know, Evan and the Wonketteers, a thought hit me: perhaps the Justice Dept should put no-fly orders on ALL OF TRUMP’s circle/regime that are not under Secret Service protection.

    They’re looking more and more like flight risks to me.

    • cmd resistor

      Supposedly Jared and Ivanka were going to some society function out west this weekend? ALLEGEDLY!

    • MrTusks

      kbye

  • Joe Beese

    Just in case it got lost in the shuffle, Kushner discussed setting up a back channel to allow Trump staffers to communicate with Russia using Russian equipment, circumventing U.S. channels.

    Why is Kushner not already in a bare room with a bright light being shone in his face, rather than whispering in the President’s ear in the Oval Office?

    • BigCSouthside

      We can haz enhanced interrogationz?

      • BearDeLaOursistance

        Peeboarding!!

        • Wee Mousie

          A new event at next year’s Sexual Olympics.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Hint: Who do you have to sleep with to get away with this shit?

    • Wee Mousie

      If you were trying to make a case against Donald Trump, were aware that he tends to listen to the last voice he hears, and aware of what dismal conspirators Jarad and Junior are, wouldn’t you want them free to whisper inept intrigues into the Dear Old Dad’s ear?

    • AnnieGetYerFun

      Money. And white.

  • BigCSouthside

    So who these other two monkey fuckers that went to the trump jr “totally not a spy meeting” meeting. Guesses?

    • laughingnome

      Guiliani and Sessions

      • BigCSouthside

        I hope reporters are going through photos and notes from the day like fuckin CSI style

    • Vecchioivan

      Smiley and Karla?

    • laughingnome

      Katia and Paulina?

    • Joe Beese

      Ivanka has an alibi. She was visiting her Chinese sweatshops that day.

    • arglebargle

      Moose and Squirrel Boris and Natasha

    • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

      His fucking dad and Steve “Jaba” Bannon, of course.

    • Nockular cavity

      I don’t know, but those girls sure had to pee!

    • commatoes

      IIRC, Manafort and Kushner.

      So the top levels of the campaign decided to sit on Jr.’s nothing meeting.

  • Michael R

    If only Jared had gotten that untraceable direct to Putin hotline installed earlier

  • Joe Beese
    • BadKitty904

      Yup. Pretty much.

    • commatoes

      That’s been the party line at Fox for the past few days.

      Chinese acrobats are looking at them and saying “How the hell do you twist like that?”

  • Bill D. Burger
  • Blackest Noobs

    one wonders when will the Russian kill Trump Junior….cuz that’s their M.O. when someone spills the beans, right?

  • bookish

    http://www.slate.com/blogs/the_slatest/2017/07/14/donald_trump_jr_s_meeting_with_natalia_veselnitskaya_with_was_also_attended.html

    The Daily Beast reports that in 2015, a suit was filed by the Russian company International Mineral Resources accusing Akhmetshin of orchestrating an “international hacking conspiracy.” From the Daily Beast:

    The U.S. District Court in Washington, D.C. was told in July 2015 that Akhmetshin had arranged the hacking of a mining company’s private records—stealing internal documents and then disseminating them. The corporate espionage case was brought by IMR, who alleged that Akhmetshin was hired by Russian oligarch Andrey Melinchenko, an industrialist worth around $12 billion.

    A New York law firm paid Akhmetshin $140,000, including expenses, to organize a public relations campaign targeting IMR. Shortly after he began that work, IMR suffered a sophisticated and systematic breach of its computers, and gigabytes of data allegedly stolen in the breach wound up the hands of journalists and human rights groups critical of the mining company. IMR accused Akhmetshin of paying Russian hackers to carry out the hack attack.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Okay. Well, I think we have them nailed for racketeering, or at least consorting with criminals. No way any of those losers ever gets a casino license ever again.

  • Bill D. Burger
    • proudgrampa

      I wish he would stick that thumb up his ass…

    • Wee Mousie

      Recycle, yeah sure! What part do you consider worth keeping?

  • Bill D. Burger
  • Bill D. Burger

    The day of reckoning is coming Trumps….and its bringing hell with it.

    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DEiXGWIXUAAaYic.jpg

    • BadKitty904

      I hope. But I doubt it, as long as the Republicans control Congress.

      • Joe Beese

        Until there are 60 Democratic Senators, there will be no justice for Donald Trump.

        • BadKitty904

          Sad, but very true.

  • Bananas Foster

    It’s like Trump went to his local mood disorder meeting (which if, good for him!) and then decided to hire all the unmedicated bipolar 1 people to work for him.

    • Three Finger Salute

      I’m an unmedicated bipolar, and I’d never work for that bastard. I’m desperate for income, but not that desperate.

      • Bananas Foster

        I just want to take you in my arms and promise you a better future!

        Hang in there!

  • TJ Barke

    Stupid fucking pricks all the way down…

  • proudgrampa

    Wow. Just wow.

  • DainBramage

    It’s all a plot to raise the profits of snack producing companies.
    https://twitter.com/joshtpm/status/885943422128984064

    • TJ Barke

      Better be some toffee peanuts in there…

      • BadKitty904

        Yum!

        • TJ Barke

          Love toffee peanuts…

          • BadKitty904

            Now I want some, dammit.

  • bookish

    http://www.businessinsider.com/rinat-akhmetshin-trump-jr-meeting-russia-documents-2017-7

    Rinat Akhmetshin, a Russian-American lobbyist who served in the Soviet military, told The Associated Press on Friday that the lawyer, Natalia Veselnitskaya, presented documents that she believed detailed the flow of illicit funding to the Democratic National Committee.

    In Akhmetshin’s recounting, Veselnitskaya suggested to those in the meeting — including Donald Trump Jr.; President Donald Trump’s campaign chairman at the time, Paul Manafort; and Jared Kushner, who’s now a White House senior adviser — that they should make the contents of the documents public. She said that doing so could help Trump’s campaign, Akhmetshin said.

    “This could be a good issue to expose how the DNC is accepting bad money,” he recalled her saying.

    • TJ Barke

      I wonder how much more “bad money” the RNC gets… Probably a lot.

    • Me not sure

      When she used the term “bad money” Jr. Probably got a very puzzled look on his face. …I mean MORE puzzled.

      • Msgr_MΩment

        “Bad money? Oh, you mean like a check from Daddy?”

    • commatoes

      That’s what money laundering is for. The Donald has shown he is willing to do that for the Russian oligarchs

    • AmazingProfessionalCrastinator

      She probably had documents detailing the flow of illicit funding to the Republican National Committee.

  • boredcatlady

    Chilis is better.
    (My takeaway from all this, duh)

  • Bill D. Burger
    • HooverVilles

      Unfortunately each second closer to 12 seems much longer that the previous second.
      Sigh!

    • Kgprophet

      Trump clock is synchronised with the Doomsday clock

  • Bill D. Burger
    • MynameisBlarney

      I wasn’t fond of Wesley Crusher, but I fucking lerve Wil Wheaton.

      • Thiazin Red

        Same, although curse his Tabletop show for making me want to buy a ton of board games.

        The fact that he looks about the same age as his kids weirds me out. I have to assume he has a horrible cursed painting in his attic.

        • MynameisBlarney

          INORITE!
          And damn him for hangin’ out with all those cool people too!
          *shakes fist*

          • Thiazin Red

            I want to hand out with Felicia Day and play games!

          • MynameisBlarney

            LOL
            “Hand” out, eh?

        • commatoes

          His appearances on @midnight are pretty damn good too. The guy is fast and good with the comedy.

  • SCK

    It just keeps worse and worse.

  • MynameisBlarney
    • Beautiful Soup

      Angry face.

    • Covfefe

      It’s not like they were contributing to some Republican PAC. That would protect their privacy. But these people were just emailing Donald to bitch about something or other.

    • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

      Wow. So he sent out a target list for his Brownshirts.

    • Iam Reading

      Kakistocracy strikes again.
      Morons
      Are
      Governing
      America

  • bookish

    http://www.thedailybeast.com/trump-team-met-russian-accused-of-international-hacking-conspiracy

    The alleged former Soviet intelligence officer who attended the now-infamous
    meeting with Donald Trump Jr. and other top campaign officials last June was previously accused in federal and state courts of orchestrating an international hacking conspiracy.

    Akhmetshin, who had been hired by Veselnitskaya to help with pro-Russian lobbying efforts in Washington, said the Russian lawyer brought a folder of documents to the meeting, which he thinks she left at Trump Tower.

  • Jamoche
    • The Wanderer

      Trump worships Trump, and sometimes Mammon, whose likeness is depicted with big breastseses and a supremely grabbable pudenda.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      “I’ve looked deep into Trump’s eyes, and there’s a massive, black void where his soul should be.”

  • To Donald Jr.:

    No one else was in
    The room where it happened
    The room where it happened
    The room where it happened
    No one else was in
    The room where it happened
    The room where it happened
    The room where it happened
    No one really knows how the game is played
    The art of the trade
    How the sausage gets made
    We just assume that it happens
    But no one else is in
    The room where it happens ♫

    . . .

    ♪ I
    Wanna be the Russian in
    The room where it happens
    The room where it happens
    I
    Wanna be the Russian in
    The room where it happens
    The room where it happens

  • Bill D. Burger
    • Nockular cavity

      “Lahfe is lahk a box of assassins. Y’never know HOW they’re gonna kill ya.”

      • OneWhiteWhisker

        “Russian is as Russian does, that’s all I’m gonna say about that.”

    • Wee Mousie

      The Trump menagerie’s plots are just like how they try to share a box of chocolates. They get all the chocolate, and the taxpayer gets all the tooth decay.

    • mailman27

      Bad movie, bad administration. Think about it, won’t you?

  • BMW

    What the actual fuck.

  • bookish

    http://www.politico.com/story/2017/07/14/ivanka-trump-jared-kushner-russia-democrats-240569

    Ivanka Trump, like Kushner, applied for a security clearance this past spring — and as a result, she was required to disclose not only her own foreign contacts, but those of her spouse and siblings as well.

    Democrats want to know if she made some of the same omissions as her husband.

    • Thiazin Red

      Spoiler Alert, she totally did.

      • Eyeball

        No matter how many times I have to send in an amended version.

  • MynameisBlarney

    Hmm…seems Teh Jared is experiencing a bit of difficulty in lawyering up.

    http://www.thedailybeast.com/jared-kushners-russia-lawyer-drops-him

    • BadKitty904

      Maybe he should try the lawyer who represented his father, Charles Kushner, in said Dad’s 2005 trial for illegal campaign contributions, tax evasion, and witness tampering.

      • OneWhiteWhisker

        Maybe not such a good idea since Daddy ended up in the slammer…

        • MynameisBlarney

          Shush it you!

        • BadKitty904
          • MynameisBlarney
          • cmd resistor

            Let’s let the cats take over.

          • BadKitty904
          • Shanzgood

            I’ll be fine. Mine brought me a whole gotdamn bunny rabbit last night and tried to bring it into the house. I wouldn’t let him so I think he decided to teach me a lesson by eating it on the porch while my daughter and I were sitting there a few feet away and could hear the crunching. I pointed it out to my daughter who said mildly: “Damn. That’s wild* as fuck.”

            *Wild in the actual meaning of the word, like wildlife.

          • Wee Mousie

            I can’t really blame your cat, he was only trying to install updated exercise equipment into the house to replace that ping pong ball that always get caught under the sofa, and the ball of yarn he keeps getting yelled at ever time he demonstrates the flexibility of his claws.

          • Shanzgood

            He gets plenty of “kill da wabbit” exercise outside. Inside is for sleeping, snacks, and trying to hump Mom’s leg.

          • Wee Mousie

            Cats are equally self-involved, but at least they carry it off with more panache.

          • HooverVilles

            Purrrfect!
            >^o.o^<

      • mailman27

        Dad was (is) an exceptionally vicious piece of work. Soulless also, too.

        • BadKitty904

          So, it’s inherited, then.

    • msanthropesmr

      AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAH!

    • The Wanderer

      I laughed inappropriately.
      Again.

  • ibwilliamsi

    Oh, I get it. The meeting was about THAT Russian adoption thing…

    • Wee Mousie

      Donny Jr, was trying to adopt a Russian baby because he was feeling maternal? Well, he’s floated less believable trial balloons.

  • Yesterday’s Donald Jr. Excuse:

    You can’t expect me to remember anything at a meeting where nothing happened and no one attended

    Tomorrow’s Donald Jr. Excuse:

    You can’t expect me to remember anything at a meeting where there were Russian acrobats performing for the 13 KGB agents who were in attendance.

  • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

    Dolt Sr.’s entire campaign was based on lies and venality. His administration so far has been nothing but lies and venality. And everything Dolt Jr. has said publicly about this meeting was, pretty much, a lie. Yet the right does nothing. You guys, I am starting to doubt the right’s claims of patriotism and personal responsibility!

    • WeaselPoo

      To assuage your doubts, try measuring in Freidman Units—it works for almost everything.. .

      • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

        Hah! I’d never heard of Friedman Units! We need to add a Trump Unit for when a plan will be revealed, ten days to two weeks.

    • Wee Mousie

      Am I to conclude from you posting that you find nothing venal about Donny Junior’s lies?

      • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

        I don’t think bribery was involved. Could be wrong though.

    • commatoes

      “Lies and venality” were THE winning combination for the Trumpsters.

      • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

        I missed that. It does describe his base, doesn’t it?

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      He’s a lying, thieving jackhole, but he’s OUR lying, thieving jackhole.”

  • Shanzgood

    OT: Wonkersourcing for my interview “thank you” email. Do I send one to all four interviewers at the same time or an individualized one separately to each of them?

    • msanthropesmr

      Individually, with a comment on somethign they did in particular during the interview; i.e.
      “I loved how discreet you were picking your nose”

      • commatoes

        I barely noticed you repeatedly readjusting your “package”.

        • Shanzgood

          Well, he was behind his desk.

        • AmazingProfessionalCrastinator

          Almost every night/early morning I have to hold my face so I don’t wake my wife up with my laughing. Today was no different.

      • Lance Thrustwell

        I say all four at the same time.

        • Shanzgood

          That’s what I’m working on. A couple of them didn’t say much so individualizing would be like “I really liked your company shirt!”

          • msanthropesmr

            Yeah – that was a caveat I was going to mention – In my interviews (academy) everybody had something to say, so they all needed “stroking”

          • OTB

            You can be more generic with them, but I agree to do them separately.

      • Shanzgood

        Hee!

      • Erala Contratista

        This too, also!

    • CindyinEncinitas

      I’d do one for each. It may make them think you like them.

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        ^^this
        “Thanks for taking the time…” works, if they didn’t do anything but sit there.

      • Shanzgood

        Too late, mass email sent. I wanted to get it done.

        • CindyinEncinitas

          I’m sure your instincts are correct.

    • Le Chapeau

      Send them in Russian. Claim you’re practicing for when our new overlords take over.

      • Shanzgood

        But I WANT this job!

        • Le Chapeau

          Oh, well, in that case, write every one individually, don’t run too long, but salt in a specific remark or two that let’s them know you understand the job and have the skills to do it. And butter them up, bigtime.

          • Shanzgood

            Too late, I did the generic one. Otherwise I would still be working on it.

          • Le Chapeau

            Well, then, best of luck. I’m pulling for you, along with, I’m sure, many other Wonketeers.

    • Ω cynmac will never surrender

      Send one to the hiring manager and cc: the others.

      • Shanzgood

        The hiring manager for the local office is the first one I interviewed with and emailed, then got the 2nd interview.

        • Ω cynmac will never surrender

          Oh, then email each one and cc: him.

  • WeaselPoo

    How many Russians does it take to screw with a US election?
    Only one….for every member of Trump’s campaign team, transition team, his AG, his National Security adviser, his son in law and his idiot son.
    (pause for applause)

  • BadKitty904

    The Gang That Couldn’t Conspire Straight…

  • eastcoastlib

    So when will Hillary be indicted for all this?

    • WeaselPoo

      When she stops murdering Vince Foster’s cat

    • commatoes

      Eric Bolling already blamed Obama for not stopping Dolt Jr. from committing a crime.

      • Wee Mousie

        In many cases, at different times, Trump has blamed both Bill Clinton and Barack Obama for a single crime, and, of course, Hillary was complicit both times.

        “Lock her up, lock her up, lock her up!”

        • commatoes

          To butcher a comedy bit by Howie Mandel:

          How dare you allow me to run into that brick wall with a boner.

  • Lance Thrustwell

    I think all this may be driving me to drink as well. That is, if the drink in front of me right now is any evidence.

    • Reximus

      dont drink and drive

    • WeaselPoo

      6 drinks in front of you would be the opposite of evidence, if your real name happens to be Hannity or Sanders or Conway

    • AnnieGetYerFun

      As long as you aren’t at Applebee’s, we are ok.

  • Me not sure

    It now appears that there were as many as 8 people in the room for this meeting. The Russians would not show up for a meeting like this out manned in case something went south.

  • Proud Liberal
  • Les Appentis De la résistance

    This is just a coincidence. There are only two lawyers left in Russia so they’re very busy and involved in everything.

    • Beanz&Berryz

      Until they die.

  • Wee Mousie

    I know it’s paranoid to interpret all random shit as enemy action, but considering that this enemy can’t not plot or tell the truth even when that would be the most expeditious, I consider paranoia to be the safest default position to have about Trump’s Dunning-Krugeresque crime family.

  • Reximus

    “Choose your leaders with wisdom and forethought.
    To be led by a coward is to be controlled by all that the coward fears.
    To be led by a fool is to be led by the opportunists who control the fool.
    To be led by a thief is to offer up your most precious treasures to be stolen.
    To be led by a liar is to ask to be told lies.
    To be led by a tyrant is to sell yourself and those you love into slavery.”


    Octavia E. Butler,

    Parable of the Talents

    • Nockular cavity

      I just finished reading her Parable of the Sower (the previous novel in the series). In normal times, I guess I would have wondered how the country fell apart so completely. Now? Fuuuuuucckkkk. I’m hearing half the country defend Trump’s shit, and watching the country collapse in real time!

      • Three Finger Salute

        And why do you think they defend his shit and will continue to do so until their last days on Earth? Because the most important thing to them is that people who look like Octavia Butler get the brunt of the punishment. It’s all about erasing the Obama legacy for them — if not turning back the clock 50 or even 150 years on progress for women and minorities. These people will not rest until they see Obama literally get lynched in the public square. Their hatred is that hardcore.

  • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

    Just checked in on FOXNEWS and it appears Hillary did a lot of bad things. And in little words had something about this meeting.

  • This whole thing is one big enema.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9nZGjU245qM

    • SeeTrain65

      As soon as I saw it was Stephen Root in NewsRadio, I was hoping it would be this clip.

  • meanlawyermom

    Wow. Just wow.

  • Jenny

    Pod save America has a Republican strategist in their newest episode. Their internal polling says he is still too popular with the base. They won’t worry about any of this stuff until that drops. Keep reminding your crazy uncle that Trump isn’t taking a dump on those liberal elites, he’s smearing his shit in the teeth of his voters.

    • The Wanderer

      That trickle down nonsense. Urophilia all around!

    • BigCSouthside

      Does the shot smearing piss of libs? If yes, then BRING ON THE SHITCICLE

    • Beanz&Berryz

      Hence their shit-eating grins. Sad.

    • Three Finger Salute

      It won’t work, though. Identity issues are an immovable force. As long as the Republicans act as legally sanctioned proxies for the racism, homophobia, and misogyny of their base, their voters will accept Trump eating a baby on live television. It’s all about putting the Ns, f*gs and sluts back in their place. Otherwise they wouldn’t vote Republican.

  • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

    I’m starting to think the Russian story is not a hoax after all. Imagine that.

  • Msgr_MΩment

    This is all part of a well-orchestrated plan to convince me that in certain circumstances, waterboarding is not only ethically A-OK, but necessary, right?

  • The Wanderer

    “There’s a man we call our Leader
    Who’s brave and fine and mad
    And we’ll follow him forever
    Though his mental state is bad.
    “We’ll follow him in sunshine
    We’ll follow him in rain
    Even though he’s got a swelling
    On the front part of his brain.”

  • Lyly Sirivong

    It all began with suspicion of campaign hacking, and now we have dead Russian lawyers. What’s next ? UFO’s ?

    • The Wanderer

      Morgo the Friendly Grelb had no comment.

      • ahughes798

        Wow! I regret that I have only one up-vote to give to this Laugh-In reference.

  • Boohunney
    • OrG

      Both.

    • Proud Liberal

      And corrupt as fuck!

      • Werewolf

        All of them, Yekaterina.

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      It is the absolute definition of white cismale privilege.

    • SeeTrain65

      “Sturrogant.”

  • ltmcdies

    OT…a break from the Trump shit…PM Justin is at the National Governors Association Meeting and then he dropped by to see these girls who code….cool

    https://twitter.com/GirlsWhoCode/status/885903806680137729

    • CindyinEncinitas

      Why can’t America have nice things again?

    • Boohunney

      Swoooooon!

    • Three Finger Salute

      Finally, some good news for Rhode Island. After the financial blunder that was the highly unpopular botched tourism campaign, and an untold number of corrupt elected officials all being sent away in handcuffs to share the same cell at the A.C.I., Li’l Rhody gets a reprieve — and an angel sent from above. Specifically, from up north. Welcome to the State of Quahog, J.T. Now Brian Griffin is jealous, because Justin gets all the girls. 😍

  • bookish

    https://www.yahoo.com/news/white-house-shakes-legal-team-probe-gathers-steam-191810956.html

    Ty Cobb, who has represented multiple figures in Washington scandals dating back to the Clinton administration, will be joining the White House staff at the end of this month as a special counsel to the president, charged with handling all legal and media-related issues relating to the Russia probe, sources said.

    At the same time, Jamie Gorelick, a politically well-connected lawyer who has been representing Jared Kushner, the president’s son-in-law, is turning over all responsibilities for the Russia investigation to Abbe Lowell, another well-known Washington criminal defense lawyer.

    Gorelick, for the time being, will continue to represent Kushner on issues relating to ethics and his security clearance form, the sources said. But Lowell, a skilled litigator who has represented clients ranging from former Sen. John Edwards to corrupt Washington fixer Jack Abramoff, will exclusively represent Kushner in inquires being conducted by congressional committees and Justice Department special counsel Robert Mueller.

    • Lance Thrustwell

      Ty Cobb? The biggest asshole in baseball history, come back from the dead to join the Trump team?

      Yeah, I can see that.

      • sgt. jmk of the résistance

        They are related… and I have no doubt are similarly mean, although this Ty Cobb has a fairly memorable moustache that I don’t remember the other one having…

        https://thebeanball.files.wordpress.com/2013/08/trial-lawyer-ty-cobb-reflects-on-35-years-of-practice-36532-html.jpg

        • Pax Americana Per Ars Smith

          He looks like George Costanza in disguise for his Art Vandelay character!

          • H0mer0

            I thought he looked like Bill Murray (also in disguise)

          • sgt. jmk of the résistance

            Or a nattier, slightly younger, thinner Wilford Brimley.

          • Pax Americana Per Ars Smith

            Before diabedus.

        • SeeTrain65

          But he still goes into bases cleats up.

          • sgt. jmk of the résistance

            Hell yes. It’s bred in the bone.

  • bookish

    http://www.newyorker.com/news/ryan-lizza/how-trump-broke-the-office-of-government-ethics?google_editors_picks=true

    This shattering of norms has been a pattern with Trump across a range of issues and has rarely cost him the loyalty of his fiercest supporters. So far, Trump and his associates have not been officially accused of breaking any laws, though the F.B.I.’s investigation is ongoing, so that could change at any time. But he routinely violates conventions that previously bound the actions of other politicians.

    To understand how exactly Trump has been able to skirt this fine line between overturning norms but not strictly breaking the law, I recently talked to Walter Shaub, who is perhaps the greatest victim of Trump’s disdain for ethical standards.

  • WhoMe?

    Wooo, Applebee’s happy hour. Fancy pants.

    • ahughes798

      Plus unlimited appetizers for $10!

  • ThatDale

    Evan, if it helps, you can totally send me mean girl emails/tweets/IMs while you’re drinking. You have totally earned it. I promise I will respond, “There, there.”

  • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

    The trolls and russians who elected this guy will never, ever admit they were wrong.

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      They don’t need to. We just need Turtle and Miss Lindsay to say “oh mercy me” I can’t believe they fooled us and fucking do something about it.

    • Jerry Noneofyourbizz

      As long as they deny their guilt from behind bars, I’m fine with that.

  • darnyoudarnyoutoheck

    If somebody made this shit up and tried to sell it as a book or movie they would have been laughed at. Now it’s not funny, just fucking terrifying.

    • WotsAllThisThen

      If I was at an airport bookstore and saw this synopsis on the back of a John Le Carré novel, I’d head over to the magazine rack.

      • House0fTheBlueLights

        Actually, this is seriously like the 4th to the last chapter of Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy when all the shit starts coming together and the bodies start turning up.

        • Weird Fishes

          I was thinking the same. Do you remember The Secret Pilgrim? When Ned goes to the house of that foul British arms dealer? I’m thinking – more like hoping, really – that will be Maximum Cheeto’s fate.

      • ahughes798

        Where you could pick up a copy of “Guns and Gardens.” Saw a copy of said magazine in the airport in Tampa, FL.

  • TundraGrifter

    Now poor Kellyanne Conway is moving the goalposts, claiming the Progressives are moving the goalposts.

    Another fresh Hell.

  • House0fTheBlueLights

    I’m actually a little relieved that Bharara only got fired.

    • Martini Ambassador 🍸

      And he’s conveniently available to testify in the federal government’s investigation into Trumpy crooked dealings. I’m betting he’s taking extra precautions with his surroundings these days.

      • Beanz&Berryz

        No balconys

        • ahughes798

          Hopefully, any food he eats will be chemically analyzed before he consumes it…..and he should probably avoid airplanes.

          • Ducksworthy

            Wear a dosimeter.

    • commatoes

      I have the feeling that there will be fallout like with Comey’s firing.

      What is with these asshats and bragging about getting the person investigating you fired? It’s gonna come back to bite you.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      Their license to kill seems to have been issued by the UK. They’re probably hoping to get one from Il Douche.

    • Kooolest G

      IKR, look what happened to peter smith, a week after he told the WSJ about trying to collude with the russians he “committed suicide”

      • Pax Americana Per Ars Smith

        NICE TO NO KILLARY HASNT LOST HER TUCH!

      • Ducksworthy

        With Helium!

      • Petunia Cat

        OR he decided to commit (medically dubious) suicide and that’s why he was willing to tell that stuff to the Wall Street Journal.

    • nosuchuser

      Someone is just smart enough to not bring the full, and possibly extrajudicial, wrath of the DOJ down on their heads. Dutch Shultz got his ticket punched by the mob to protect the guy who was after them, because they knew they could not prevail against the federal government if it got personal…

      A lesson two scoops is going to learn.

  • Royal Ugly Dude
  • Le Chapeau

    Jesus Christ, every time you shake this tree, more Russians fall out of it.

  • Biel_ze_Bubba

    Some good gnus:
    D.C. Chief Judge Robert E. Morin has tossed out the conviction of Desiree Fairooz, the woman who was convicted of disorderly and disruptive conduct for laughing out loud at the laugh-out-loud idiocy of Jeff Sessions having a record of “treating all Americans equally under the law.” Morin said her laughter “would not be sufficient” to make a case against her, and tossed the conviction entirely.

    • Hazel Blumberg

      Wonderful news! At last, something positive!

  • gallbladder

    Maybe if Donnie w(h)ore a bigger flag pin?

  • Hazel Blumberg

    Please, please, please, throw them all in jail!!!!!!

    • BadKitty904

      Not while the Republicans control Congress.

  • Lisa

    I’m kinda dizzy from all these connections. (Oops, maybe it’s the three vodka tonics kicking in….)

    • The Reverend Stu’

      At this point if you drink vodka you may very well be involved in the Drumpf/Russia scandal… I decided to throw all mine out just to be zafe.

  • Zyxomma

    What about those of us who don’t enjoy drinking and can’t smoke because job hunting often includes drug testing? Whatever are we to do? Whip-its?

    • H0mer0

      “whip it good!”

  • Upright Ape

    Please…..she likes to be known as “The Fuckable Natalia Veselnitskaya, Attorney At Law”. There, fixed it.

  • Lefty Wright

    I read the letter to Sessions. It would really frost my ass to have to start out with “The Honorable Jeff Sessions. There is not an honorable bone in his scrawny body.

  • Run2Live
  • Keith Taylor

    OMG. Magnitsky? Peripilichny? Gorokhov who fell out of a fourth floor window (no sardonic quotation marks, please, they are prejudicial) the very day before he was due to testify in court? Just coincidental deaths, obviously. Please stop trying to make them look suspicious as if they were fatal plane crashes in Saudi Arabia or something. If you want really suspicious deaths, what about all the murders Breitbart and Fox News have implied the Clintons engineered, and claim are highly suspicious on grounds of unimpeachable evidence, such as Hillary Clinton being a Satanist and possessed by demons? Could you stop implying things about those nice Russian oligarchs and that nice fellow Putin? And that obviously nice Russian mob lawyer Donald Junior met to arrange adoptions of Russian babies? I think that was so sweet …

  • Relativicus

    Just imagine what they’ll do to stay in office and get reelected.

    • Ducksworthy

      And out of jail.

  • HUH/ NY attorney investigating money laundering connected to high scale real estate in NY…..
    Trump becomes president…..
    Attorney gets fired…..
    Case is settled quietly.
    WEIRD!

    • vivian

      Whadda co-inky-dink!

      • Ducksworthy

        So it looks like The Don make good on part of the deal. Maybe oligarchs/Russian Mafia/Putin thugs only smash one tiny hand with hammer.

  • Petunia Cat

    The Big Takeaway: talking about Russian adoption means they WERE talking about sanctions. And that’s the quid pro quo thing. Another Oopsie Accidental Confession. 😯 🤦‍♂️
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/c45cb0a1ee0df227c4c698f4e0a050062cfe2949b4ba37c224cdf0b10ec9b944.jpg

  • UnsaltedSinner
  • LadyLaz

    Thank you for finally explaining this. I’d heard the bit about the guy falling from the fourth floor but didn’t see the connections

  • Jo Mathie

    How can the Trumps even pretend that their ties to Russia aren’t collusion at this point? It’s like a lazily written Bond film except a load of people voted for Blowfeld. (At least he had a cute but probably evil cat).

    • SFC Sphinxor

      Blowfield loved that pussy.

      • Other Chris

        Indeed, he was the original pussy grabber.

  • rubikcube

    No connection. Next question.

  • tinker12

    Applebee’s has a happy hour?

    • True story. I am part of a group of Twitterati in Marin and Applebees reached out to our group and gave us $250 worth of food and drink so we can tweet about the experience. It was the worst food ever. They couldn’t make a margarita to save their lives. We decided at one point that the foodie tag they wanted us to use was going to be used ironically.

      Usually when you get it free the food tastes better, but it turned out to be culinary Hell.

    • The Applebee’s here in Boulder was leveled, and replaced with a Trader Joe’s, so no more mediocre Middle-American happy hours are even possible around here.

  • mary5920

    I’m waiting for the film. Is there film?
    A flow chart?

  • Cranky Man

    Listen to me USA, this time when the appointed president, probably Paully (Koch sucker – Wis), pardons the former president, storm the Capitol with everything you’ve got.
    Pitchforks, shovels, baseball bat, whatever is handy. Many of us will die, I’ll be first.
    But, if we have any shred of patriotism left, we must put an end to this facsim.

  • themidniteskulker

    Good thing President Reagan defeated the evil commie menace for them over there, ending the USSR. If he hadn’t, things would be unfair and corrupt,and those poor people would still be ruled by dictators. Fortunately,they’ve got them a US-style democracy, and it’s smooth sailin’ from now on. You’re welcome,Russkies!!

    • Walter Wellstone

      Ever noticed how the Republicans don’t even mention Ray Gun anymore?

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