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How unfortunate.

Remember Donald Trump Jr.’s FIRST LIE, when he said he only met Russian lady lawyer Natalia Veselnitskaya in Trump Tower with Paul Manafort and Jared Kushner so they could deal with pressing Bouncy Russian Baby problems? Guess whose lie that actually was? Surprise, it was the White House’s lie! More specifically, it was the only lie White House staff came up with on the plane back from the G20 that Daddy Donald Trump would sign off on. Does that sound like a cover-up to you? Because it sounds like a cover-up to us! We’re going to say it right here at the outset, and we’ll return to it later, but Junior better hope there aren’t “tapes” or “wire tapps” of his little meeting!

We learn about Daddy Trump signing off on Junior’s first lie in the New York Times, which reports that, according to three sources, human grease stain Donald Trump Jr. wanted to come clean about his little Russian meeting this weekend. However, three OTHER sources say nope, he wanted to lie like a common His Dad. Who’s right? Three sources! We just don’t know which three.

Otherwise, the NYT paints a picture of a White House completely losing its shit. Apparently, Trump aides and lawyers are “engaged in a circular firing squad” over Little Junior’s bad behavior, “anonymously blaming one another for the decisions of the last few days.” Poor things!

Trump is reportedly upset with his dumb lawyer Marc Kasowitz, and in turn Kasowitz is apparently so tired of Trump’s shit he might resign. Trump’s legal “experts” are also mad at Jared Kushner, because he “whisper[s] in the president’s ear about the Russia investigations,” and because he is an “obstacle and a freelancer more concerned about protecting himself than his father-in-law,” according to “source.” In short, everybody in the White House is kung fu fighting!

Grease Stain Junior cuddled inside the warm bosoms of Sean Hannity on Tuesday night, and attempted to ‘splain himself. Shockingly, he came off as A Idiot who REALLY REALLY wanted to do criminal conspiracies with Russia. Here, have an embarrassing video:

Junior told Hannity he didn’t think it was a big deal to set up a meeting with Russians promising dirt on Hillary Clinton because number one, he thought it was just “opposition research,” and number two, it happened before the the media was obsessed with “Russia-mania.” Does Fuckhead not understand he and his family CREATED a lot of the “Russia-mania,” by getting in bed with all these Russians? Does Junior think that before that, it was totally normal for campaigns to do conspiracies with Russia to beat their opponents? Jesus fuck, dude. And don’t give us this shit about how the Trump family is “new at politics.” Are they all NEW AT LIFE? Or are they all so used to being part of a crime family that they have no sense of right and wrong?

Baby Donald said he was so excited about this meeting because he’d been “reading about scandals that were probably under-reporting [sic] for a long time, so maybe it was something that had to do with one of those things.” To which Wonkette replies, WHAT SCANDALS, YOU FUCKING CONSPIRACY THEORIST HICK? PIZZAGATE? FOR CHRIST’S SAKE, IS YOUR BRAIN THAT BROKEN?

(Probably, yes.)

But none of that should matter, Junior said, because “it was literally just a wasted 20 minutes, which was a shame.” See? Junior TRIED to do conspiracies with these Russians, but they didn’t put out! What a shame, because he was SO READY.

He did allow that, “in retrospect, I probably would’ve done things a little differently.” YOU THINK?

Motherfucker better hope there aren’t any “tapes.”

Junior’s grotesque sperm donor got on Twitter to defend his spawn Wednesday morning:

LOL the primary source for this is Junior’s Twitter account. You hear that, Don Jr.? You are FAKE MEDIA that is MADE UP and you DO NOT EXIST. Of course, what your dad probably means to say is he wishes you were never born. :(

So, let’s flesh out why we say Junior and his daddy better hope there ain’t no tapes! They keep saying, “Oh well, nothing came of this meeting, so it’s cool, right?” HOW DO WE KNOW THAT’S TRUE? We don’t. We have Dipshit Junior saying nothing came of it, which was a “shame,” because he had a tent in his panties for doing conspiracies with Russia. We have the Russian lawyer, who says she didn’t share any goods. Neither of these sources is particularly trustworthy.

Maybe the meeting was nothing! Veselnitskaya says Jared Kushner left soon after it started, and that Paul Manafort played on his phone the whole time. Perhaps they were bored because they had been through LOTS of Russian conspiracy meetings, and were pissed that the failed fruit of Daddy Trump’s First Sperming had wasted their time with this meeting that wasn’t a good Russian conspiracy AT ALL!

But maybe it was something! First of all, it’s bullshit that Manafort and Kushner didn’t know what the meeting was supposed to be about, since they got an email forward from Junior with the subject line “Russia – Clinton – private and confidential.” They didn’t read that email chain? PFFFFFT whatever. Maybe this was a really good Russian conspiracy meeting, and everybody is lying about what went down on June 9, 2016.

The point is, fuckers better hope there aren’t any tapes! Oh, we don’t mean “tapes” like Donald Trump’s dumbass lie about Barack Obama doing “wire tapps” to him. We mean normal FISA surveillance of people from enemy nations like Russia, who might have communicated with members of Team Trump about illegal election conspiracies. For instance, Natalia Veselnitskaya, the Russian lawyer. And Rob Goldstone, the hilarious-looking British promoter who represents the Azerbaijani-Russian pop star Emin, who wanted Junior to meet with the Russian lady. Or Aras Agalarov, Emin’s Russian oligarch dad, who is buddies with Putin. Any of these people could have been under FISA surveillance, and if they were in contact with members of Trump’s inner circle, their voices might have been picked up in routine surveillance too. And the NSA might have unmasked them, because they were overheard DOING CRIMES. (This is why Devin Nunes and Trump are actually so pissed off about the very legal practice of “unmasking.” Read more about how that works here!)

It’s been reported that, while this particular meeting wasn’t on special counsel Robert Mueller’s radar before all this, it absolutely is now. So … what’s that thing we’ve been saying this whole post? Oh yeah, MOTHERFUCKERS BETTER HOPE AIN’T NO TAPES OUT THERE.

(LORDY, we hope there are tapes!)

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  • memzilla Ω
    • Bozilingus

      Horizontal stripes make you look thinner, amirite?

  • Scooby

    Donald Trump is stupider than Donald Trump.

  • Carpe Vagenda
    • PubOption

      A treyf-ling error.

      • Carpe Vagenda

        Where’s it coming frum?

    • armed_bears

      Wow…. talk about Freudian.

    • Michael Smith

      Are they subtly laying groundwork to create a Jewish fall guy?

      • armed_bears

        יאָ

      • Msgr_MΩment

        He’s no fall goy.

        • Carpe Vagenda

          that’s no reason to pass over him.

          • Msgr_MΩment

            For shoah.

          • Carpe Vagenda

            owch.

        • MrTusks

          They’re not being shy–lock him up!

      • coozledad

        Jeff Goldblum in for Lee Majors.

      • Carpe Vagenda

        Well, I’m thinking there’s quite the dinner theater production of King Lear going on in the background somewhere.

        • Riley Whodat Venable

          Try the veal!

    • LesBontemps

      Steve Bannon, on message.

    • coozledad

      Halal be damn!

    • arglebargle

      I see what jew did there.

      • Msgr_MΩment

        Aw. Go gentile on him. He’s new to this.

        • coozledad

          He can take care of himself. You haven’t seen his “Mosaic claw.”

        • Oblios_Cap

          He’s just trying to be one of the goys.

        • Rags

          Matzo been a typo.

    • Joe Beese

      He answers to a higher authority.

      Wait… no, he doesn’t.

    • schmannity

      That’s a halal of a mistake.

    • Celtic_Gnome

      I bet that’s one of those in-jokes around the office that got put in by mistake.

  • Joe Beese

    What these discussions have been lacking is the Emin/Trump music video.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iuZUNjFsgS8

    • Belasaurius

      ugh, meanwhile Joe Strummer is still dead.

      • Msgr_MΩment

        Should Emin stay or should he go?
        /rhetorical

      • Persistent Tennessee Rain

        And I’m still in mourning.

    • armed_bears
    • LesBontemps

      No, you cannot make me watch that.

    • Vincent Ricola

      3:38 – needs more rogue meteor hitting Earth.

    • Mr. Blobfish

      I didn’t realize Russian pop stars suck so hard.

    • coozledad

      What happened to Russian music between Stravinsky, Prokofiev and this shit?

    • mailman27

      Needz moar eyebrows.

    • Celtic_Gnome

      Didja notice that Emin doesn’t know how to play the piano?

  • ManchuCandidate

    http://www.gifbin.com/bin/072010/1280403082_gob-and-lindsay-chicken-dance.gif
    It would have gone even better if GOB Trump had done his chicken dance instead of being the derp king wearing a $4200 suit on Faux.

    • MrTusks

      Who’s the Michael here? Barron?

  • Michael Smith

    The NYT’s incremental release of these stories should be highlighted in watchdog journalism textbooks from here on out.

    • Bub, the truculent Zombie

      “Patience…patience…paaatience… Always wait to set the hook if it’s a big one…

      • BoatOfVelociraptors

        Yeah, Spiderman was pretty rad.

    • armed_bears

      And in the FBI’s “Tricking Assholes 101”.

  • Bub, the truculent Zombie

    Remember, when you hear the words “sources say” from the Fake Media, often times those sources are made up and do not exist.

    That would be your buddies at Fox, Donnie. It’s always projection with you assholes.

    • onedollarjuana

      And how many times did Donnie say “I’m hearing that …”, or “People are saying …”, and then stating some falsehood about Hillary or the Dems?

      Fake News or just his own ass gas?

      • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

        Oh, but his anonymous sources are impeccable! Just ask him!

  • Msgr_MΩment

    Trump is reportedly upset with his dumb lawyer Marc Kasowitz, and in turn Kasowitz is apparently so tired of Trump’s shit he might resign.

    What a dilemma. Quit and not get paid, or stay and get stiffed?

    • BoatOfVelociraptors

      Depends on if he’s picking up the bar tab…

    • Oblios_Cap

      I saw Suck-a-low on TV this AM. What a piece of work.

    • Celtic_Gnome

      Wondering if Paul Ryan’ll still say it’s none of his business if Kasowitz walks?

  • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

    But none of that should matter, Junior said, because “it was literally just a wasted 20 minutes, which was a shame.”

    So you’re saying if there was something, you would have accepted it?

    This guy can’t go five minutes without incriminating himself.

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      “Hold my beer, while I shoot myself in the dick!”

      • Beanz&Berryz

        Clear shot with his pants around his ankles wanting the Hawt Russian lady to put out.

  • coozledad

    I always liked the part where the shit toothed crookback royals start chewing their tongues and chopping each other up. They’re making Shakespeare great again.

  • ariel_gee_398

    I sure do hope someone typed up a subpoena real quick and got it to Junior so he doesn’t whoopsie delete the emails he sent *after* that meeting. Cause, you know, if it was a nothingburger, I bet he’d send a whiney little email after the meeting about what a waste of time and disappointment it was. And I bet no such email exists.

    • Persistent Tennessee Rain

      emails can be recovered.

      • Snark Tank Full of Resistance

        Yep, just ask James Comey about that.

        • Persistent Tennessee Rain

          Or the woman who got fired from my place of work because she was carrying on a torrid affair with a subordinate. She came to me about it and said, “But, I deleted all the e-mails!” I couldn’t believe she said that.

          Pro Tip: Never put anything in an email that you wouldn’t post on your front lawn.

      • BoatOfVelociraptors

        May we be so lucky that they don’t follow security protocol, and leave used devices around.

  • Vagenda and Pee-ara

    Miss Lindsey manages to interject that Hillary had help from the Ukrainians. Robbie Mook has already completely denied that.

    You’re better than this, Miss Lindsey!

    • No, not really

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      No…no he’s not.

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        Usually he can at least realize who he really needs to shiv. I guess he’s just throwing a little red meat to the base.

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      Stinks of desperation. She’s not President, and nobody cares but their idiot base.

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        It’s the old “but she did it, too” defense. Which didn’t seem to work for Hillary when she pointed out that it was Colin Powell who told her to get a private email server. Except in that case, it was actually true, since Powell denied it, and one of his aides came forward with an email he’d sent to her telling her to get a private server. Oopsie!

    • Vincent Ricola

      Lindsey is sure aflutter this morning. He must be troubled and very concerned.

      • Oblios_Cap

        He’s misplaced his clutching pearls. Again.

        • miss_grundy

          And his fainting couch….

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        She may even have some harsh words for Trump at some point.

  • Chyron HR

    So wait, which one of them is “Dumb Donald”?

  • Persistent Tennessee Rain

    I am a most of the time mature adult, but I have to admit that I find the unflattering pictures Wonkette posts to be pee-your-pants funny.

  • Vagenda and Pee-ara

    Wray says he’s “unfamiliar” with Donnie Jr.s emails. Miss Lindsey kind of yelling at him, says “look, pal, I want every politician to know that if anyone calls you from Russia, get in touch with the FBI.”

  • memzilla Ω

    NYT also wrote about an unintended consequence of Donny Joonyur’s handling of this story.

    After NYT contacted him to get his comment about the email chain, he said that he’d get back to them but then he decided to scoop them and release the emails first. The next time a news organization contacts these Kremlinistas for a comment about a story, they’re liable to give ’em about ten seconds lead time before they hit SEND on the story anyway.

  • Resistance Fighter Astraea

    This is the first time I’ve watched any video of Junior. What are his facial expressions even? He’s not even good at passing for human.

    • Clark_Nova

      Another skin full of cockroaches, like Cruz.

  • I remain perfectly convinced that the GOP Congress will continue to treat this as nothing. Maybe if Mueller presents evidence of a felony, they might pass a resolution saying “Bad Trump! Bad! Bad! Now sign us more tax cuts.”

    • Snark Tank Full of Resistance

      Why would they want to get rid of the cover? They can pretty much do anything they want now, including passing the shit sandwich of TrumpRyanMcConnellCare, more tax breaks for the rich, defund every social safety net and whatever else gave Ayn Rand a hard-on, and people won’t notice or care, because we have the Russia drama.

      And we’re thankful for it.

      • Oblios_Cap

        Except that they apparently can’t get their shit together enough to pass any shit sandwiches. Yet.

        • amrak63

          Ascended Madoka please keep it that way.

    • Joe Beese

      Nothing at all will happen in 2017, even if there’s videotape of Trump handing Putin a briefcase marked “Nuclear Launch Codes” in exchange for a bulging canvas sack with a $ sign on it.

      But in 2018, if Trump’s toxicity threatens enough Republican congressional seats, we’ll see.

    • SadDemInTex

      Yep….I’ve been saying this. They don’t care about America. They care about the oligarchs who pay them and the oligarchs want to pay no taxes ever. They want slave labor/automation. They want no social safety net for 99.9% of humanity, no regulations regarding air/water/food. I’m thinking China might be the place to go…at least they see that you can’t keep polluting.

    • Riley Whodat Venable

      Trump and Jr. May survive, but Jared Kosher may be in trouble. Lying on a security clearance can be a problem.

  • Suttree

    Here is a chair and some rope. Hannity will help you with the rest.

    • arglebargle

      Softball question answering is hard.

  • Indiepalin

    The brains of the family appear to belong innocent lil Barron.

    • arglebargle

      A child shall lead them.

    • lucidamente

      Just ban hammer me now.

    • Clark_Nova

      Does he keep them in a jar?

  • Vagenda and Pee-ara

    Christopher Wray seems kind of dumb, and doesn’t know what’s going on in the world. He seems perfect for Trump!

    • Just what you want in a chief investigator of Federal Gov’t- somone with no knowledge whatsoever of the biggest legal issues and criminal matters since the founding of the country!

      • Oblios_Cap

        Perfect for this group.

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        Yeah, I was pretty impressed he had not heard anything about Donnie Jr’s emails. Apparently he lives under a rock.

  • Oblios_Cap

    Huh. I always thought the HUAC and McCarthy hearings were the Greatest Political Witch Hunts of all time.

    Those, and the actual witch hunts back in the Good Old Days.

  • The KGB Ate Our Votes

    “The Failed Fruit of Daddy Trump’s First Sperming.”
    I would gay marry you, Evan. If I wasn’t married. And not a guy.

    • SadDemInTex

      I second that!

      • insolenttomato

        Thirded!

  • Suttree

    Did the doctor just have an outline of what a nose should look like? Because otherwise it looks like he stole his sister’s.

    • Joe Beese
      • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

        See, I actually like her nose in the before. It looks like what a nose should look like.

        • Oblios_Cap

          Did she get her neck shortened?

        • SadDemInTex

          I agree. She looks like a healthy young girl in the before. Now she looks like a frozen doll.

          • Ghenghis McCann

            Isn’t it every young girls ambition to look just like Barbie? (The doll, not the Nazi war criminal.)

        • coozledad

          She wanted to look like daddy after he had his septum corrected.

        • WotsAllThisThen

          Yes, I prefer her earlier, human nose.

      • Bill D. Burger
        • mailman27

          The one on the right should do something else with his hair, to perhaps soften his otherwise repulsive mien.

          • natoslug

            Perhaps shorten it by a foot? Something in a nice razor cut.

        • therblig

          if alex needed two dims, they’d be his droogs for sure.

      • Suttree

        WTF was wrong with the old nose!

        • Covfefe

          Daddy didn’t seem to have any problems with the original equipment. He didn’t wait for any nose job to make his move.

          • Suttree

            Eww, and yeah you’re right. Maybe Donnie got bored after she turned 18 though. That would explain it.

        • MizzMazz

          It looked like a nose?
          OT, hope you are feeling better. Bad backs suck.

          • Suttree

            Thanks!

        • therblig

          besides being attached to a disgusting asshole?

  • La forza del resistino

    While the Russkies may have sent a lawyer to dish dirt to get Junior on board, they sent a pony to Eric.

  • The Wanderer

    I don’t just want audio recordings. I want video.

  • dslindc

    *Endless Screaming*

  • The KGB Ate Our Votes

    Hannity has the Trump taint on him. Perpetually.

  • elviouslyqueer

    I heard some pinhead woman on NPR this morning defending this idiocy and claiming (yet again) that this was a “nothingburger.” And of course she blathered something about “Who cares if Jr. was talking to Russia, or China, or Florida? It doesn’t MEAN anything.” I was unable to even after that.

    • Royal Ugly Dude

      It’s a high-calorie nothing burger, to be sure.

      • WotsAllThisThen

        Trump supporters have been eating too many nothingburgers and not getting enough exercise.

        • elviouslyqueer

          Not to mention every single last bag of fried rat dicks in existence.

    • SadDemInTex

      Again…NPR controlled by Koch Brothers

    • WotsAllThisThen

      Russia, China, Florida… who even heard of such exotic places?

    • therblig

      i have my radio encased in an impenetrable lucite cube for just such interviews. the cube has some chips, scratches, food stains, and burns, but otherwise ok.

  • Gregory Purcell

    It is not against the law to meet​ and listen to a Russian lawyer, whom you have been led to believe works for the Kremlin and has dirt on the opposition.

    • Joe Beese

      It’s definitely not against the law to publicly lie for months about it never having happened.

      What a country!

    • Persistent Tennessee Rain

      So, if Donnie Dipshit, Jr. didn’t do anything wrong, why did he so vehemently deny (to the point of disparaging his accusers) having any contact with the Russians?

      • Gregory Purcell

        This Russian lawyer lady was not the “crown prosecutor”. She didn’t even work for the Russian government.

        • Phoenixdoglover

          It does not matter if she did not work for the government. According to the law, she need only be a “foreign national.”

          • Gregory Purcell

            There is no law which bars a private citizen from meeting and listening to a foreign national.

          • Phoenixdoglover

            Who are Donald J. Trump, Jr., Paul Manafort, and Jared Kushner, and what were they doing in June 2016?

            Hahahaha!

        • Snark Tank Full of Resistance

          But she was certainly acting on behalf of the Russian government.

          • Gregory Purcell

            No she was acting on behalf of a Russian oligarch who was on the sanction list, and can’t move his money out of Russia.

          • WotsAllThisThen

            I think you need to read Don Jr’s emails again. He was specifically told this was part of a larger effort by the Russian government to get his dad elected. And his response: “I love it!”

          • Gregory Purcell

            I have read them Jr was told she worked for the Russian government, but she doesn’t, nor did she have any dirt on Hillary.

            If she had it still wouldn’t be a crime to listen to her and see what dirt she had on Hillary

        • Persistent Tennessee Rain

          You didn’t answer my question. Was it too difficult for you?

          • Gregory Purcell

            Jr. claimed not to have met any Russian officials. Which is different than any Russians.

          • Persistent Tennessee Rain

            Bullshit. You can parse his words and lick his taint, but the American people are catching on and they will not stand for a President with such questionable loyalties.

          • WotsAllThisThen

            Some of them will, clearly. Some of them don’t give a shit about anything as long as he makes abortion illegal.

          • Gregory Purcell

            I am just against a confrontation with Russia.

          • WotsAllThisThen

            Says every Russian troll-bot on the Internet.

          • amrak63

            That makes one of us. I am ready to do every Madoka-damned thing short of actual shooting war to punish Mommie Dearest Russia for its insolence in saddling us with Prez Covfefe.

          • laineypc

            ???!!! Russia is deep up our ass in election hacking and political interference. They got access to voter databases FFS. Does not a patriotic American think some confrontation is in order?

          • amrak63

            And as long as he makes it acceptable for them to be openly racist without fear of rebuke.

    • Phoenixdoglover

      It is against the campaign finance laws for a campaign to solicit or receive a contribution or other thing of value from a foreign national. DJ Trump, Jr. by his own statements has indicated he considered it valuable and he wanted it. By encouraging and conducting the meeting (“love it!”) he solicited something of value.

      Edit: The statute in question is 52 USC 30121, 36 USC 510 — the law governing foreign contributions to US campaigns. (as reported by Vox)

      • Gregory Purcell

        Really, well how is the opposition research done by the Hillary campaign any different. Steele while employed by the Hillary campaign says he met with Kremlin officials to produce his report.

        • Phoenixdoglover

          Fine, take it up with the FBI.

        • Crystalclear12

          Steele was employed by the Republicans and turned over his report to a Republican who gave it to the FBI.

          • WotsAllThisThen

            Republicans, Hillary, really how can you expect Trump supporters to keep all these names straight?

          • Phoenixdoglover

            Oops! Gregory, come back, man!

          • Gregory Purcell
          • Crystalclear12
          • Gregory Purcell

            It would appear that we are both correct.

            In September 2015, Fusion GPS was hired to do opposition research for Republicans who opposed Donald Trump’s bid during the Republican primary campaign for the 2016 presidential election. When Trump had emerged as the probable Republican candidate for the 2016 U.S. presidential election in the spring of 2016, Republican donors stopped funding the investigation, and Democratic supporters of Hillary Clinton became Fusion GPS’s new clients.

          • WotsAllThisThen

            The key to the NY Post article is they make you think Fusion GPS was only hired by Democrats while being careful to not actually say so. They conveniently forget to say who actually hired them to compile the dossier in question. That’s the power of confirmation bias!

          • Gregory Purcell

            You think that the republics were still funding opposition research on Trump after he secured the nomination

      • Covfefe

        They were in a position to provide something of value. Lifting sanctions. It’s not treason; it’s just another commercial venture.

    • Nockular cavity

      Ha ha ha, good one! Oh wait, you’re serious?

  • Ghenghis McCann

    “Of course there are no tapes. In Russia we record everything digitally to hard drive. Do you want bootleg copy as an mp3 file?”

    • laineypc

      My son just introduced me to midi art. I would like the audio represented in the form of a Russian bear please, if possible. Or Soviet kitsch would work.

  • fawkedifiknow

    It defies common sense to say that the Rooskies went to all that trouble to get a meeting with Junior Dumbfuck and agreed to have Ivanka’s Dad’s romantic rival, Jared, and the sleazy Manafort present – and, then didn’t deliver anything worthwhile. That’s total bullshit. She (the walking Russian alphabet name) undoubtedly told them that they had hacked emails from the DNC and just wanted to coordinate with the head Orange-a-tan that they were going to start dumping them. He immediately started bragging about it to his knuckle-dragging supporters on the campaign trail, you know.

    • Robbertjan Brandenburg

      “the walking Russian alphabet name”

      Thank you! I have been trying to come up with a snarky nickname.

      • Suttree

        Keep your same avatar so we know who you are! I’m sick and tired of people changing their names! All of the sudden I think that a snarky comment is a troll.

        • Robbertjan Brandenburg

          Could not be bothered to change it. ;)

        • NotDarkYet

          Sorry to barge in here, but I registered two names/avatars–with Google and Discus (before I figured out those were actually DIFFERENT … yes, I haz the dumbs), and I can’t figure out how to consolidate them. Is there a way to do that?

          • Suttree

            I have absolutely no idea. Stick with one and ditch the other is all that I can come up with.

          • NotDarkYet

            That’s pretty much what I came up with, too! LOL…

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      Dang- I just read it, and don’t have the linky- apparently this is SOP for Russian intelligence-,dangle something relatively worthless, see who bites, and how hard. They can suck people in from there. In this case it was a big, very dumb, fish.

      • Debravhorton

        Google is paying 97$ per hour! Work for few hours and have longer with friends & family! !pd170d:
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    • OutOfOrbit

      Have not seen “Orange-a-tan” before. Me like. It’s like, gotta beat to it.

    • wavicles

      Not immediately though… like 2 hours later so… unrelated events.

  • lucidamente

    Also, too, Master Kushner is in some deep shit for lying on his security clearance form about meeting with furriners.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Serial perjury.

    • WotsAllThisThen

      Not to worry. An undated unsigned retroactive ethics waiver is more than enough to satisfy the Congressional oversight committees.

    • wavicles

      Again?
      Yeah, this is ANOTHER time.

  • elviouslyqueer

    Kasowitz is apparently so tired of Trump’s shit he might resign.

    Oh goodie! I was really hoping for an excuse to use this. You know who else’s shit we’re sick of?

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/7dbf4a3e6d255e0792089d7f47b7fd389de97b538ea2a26c5c94fadcc69f73bb.jpg

  • Oblios_Cap
    • WotsAllThisThen

      You don’t have to be an insider to know that!

  • Bill D. Burger

    LMAO

    “Uhhh… I’m not worried. No way. But lay some hands on me guys. Lay some hands on me before the FBI does.”

    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DEifARRVwAAYAEO.jpg

    • Bill D. Burger
      • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

        But Supply Side Jesus loves him

      • P’jama Pahnts

        “But God can work through this man”. Holy shit, these people

      • arglebargle

        If he helps bring about the end times, all is forgiven.

      • Snark Tank Full of Resistance

        Sloth?: check.
        Envy?: check.
        Lust?: check.
        Pride?: check.
        Gluttony?: check.
        Wrath?: check.
        Greed?: Jesus Christ, in spades.

        Yep, he’s got ’em all covered.

        • schmannity

          Remember who RWNJ Evangelicals thought Obama was the Antichrist? I guess they started grading on a curve after 01/20/2017.

    • Mr. Blobfish

      A prayer circle jerk,

    • arglebargle

      I’d like to lay some hands on Trump.

    • Ghenghis McCann

      Yup, “surreal” is one word I would use too. “Batshit” and “crazy” are the others.

      • snigsy

        I was thinking “cult.”

    • miss_grundy

      All these jokers wear Christianity like a cheap suit.

      • Riley Whodat Venable

        Instead of wearing the world like a lose garment.

    • WotsAllThisThen

      I’m confused about this whole laying hands thing. Is he like the shroud of Turin or an old lady who’s about to get up out of her wheelchair?

      • laineypc

        More like a moral leper. I know, I know, leper libelz.

      • Antonin Dvorak

        You’ve got it backwards, they are channeling the power of christ to him not from him.

    • mailman27

      You cannot be serious.

    • schmannity

      Not pictured: Putin’s hand.

      • Pax Americana Per Ars Smith

        It’s firmly buried in Trump’s ass.

    • WotsAllThisThen

      Who put a rug on that Saudi orb?

    • NotDarkYet

      Can you catch orangeitis by just touching him?

    • BeachBum

      I think my opinion of Organized Religion just fell a notch lower. And I didn’t think it could.

  • Crystalclear12

    I know what I want for the War on Christmas!

  • The KGB Ate Our Votes
    • Msgr_MΩment

      Poor log.

    • coozledad

      The dumbass awoke before dawn.
      He put his hikers on.

      • John Thorstensen

        It’d be great if this really WAS “The End”. Of this, at least.

    • Bill D. Burger

      Junior reads from his new book of poetry to the WH staff and those assembled:
      “Treasons My Father & I Have Committed”

      • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

        Vogon libelz!

  • Mr. Blobfish

    Big Don needs some cheering up. Better schedule a campaign rally.

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      It will help intimidate Republicans also. How long do you think before he tells his adoring fans to openly take up arms in his defense, instead of just hinting at “second amendment solutions “?

      • Bozilingus

        The Second Civil War will start when tRump’s supporters surround the WH to keep tRump from being removed after his impeachment.

        • The KGB Ate Our Votes

          I so want to see Trump dragged kicking and screaming from the WH with the spittle flying and his hair all undone and hanging in a stringy mess from the side of his head.

      • Clark_Nova

        Second Amendment solutions can be used by EITHER side.

    • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

      He’s curled up in bed – won’t come out. Not even for burnt steak and ketchup.

  • La forza del resistino

    As Juniorgate evolves, the chat in the writer’s room for the ‘House of Cards’ is saying we at least are creative and deserve a raise.

    • sosuume

      You sure it’s not “Stupidgate”?

      • La forza del resistino

        I’m trademarking Juniorgate and Woodward and Bernstein can suck #2 pencils over it.

  • Mr. Blobfish

    Tiffany is smart to stay away from this crowd.

    • WotsAllThisThen

      Who woulda thought being an instagram personality would be the smarter career move?

  • msanthropesmr

    Just a note – It is extremely difficult for a lawyer to quit a client – EVEN IF THEY THINK THE CLIENT WILL STIFF THEM.

    • Persistent Tennessee Rain

      He may have to go before a judge in order to do so.

    • ariel_gee_398

      There’s also the issue of him maybe not being able to get security clearance. Don’t see how he can actually represent Trump in this matter without clearance.
      http://talkingpointsmemo.com/news/marc-kasowitz-not-seeking-security-clearance

    • jesterpunk

      “Your honor my client is a fucking moron and keeps twitting out evidence of himself committing a crime”

    • MrTusks

      Actually, since there isn’t a formal case pending I think he can quit whenever he wants.

  • Bill D. Burger
  • Bill D. Burger
  • Lyly Sirivong

    Nothing came out if it, and yet Trump tweeted just half an hour later about big revelations about Clinton to come…

  • goonemeritus

    All these Russian revelations are distracting the Trump administration from its important work destroying our country.

    • The KGB Ate Our Votes

      It is certainly offering great cover for McConnell’s reverse Robin Hood ‘healthcare’ bill. You have to be scared when Senators are willing to stay and work through a scheduled holiday. They only get about 20 weeks off a year.

  • Bill D. Burger
  • TheGrandWazoo2

    This weekend’s scandal roll-out will make little Donnie’s kerfuffle seem like it happened years ago.

    • The KGB Ate Our Votes

      This is all just Russian PSYOPs to wear us down to a gibbering nub, isn’t it?

  • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

    I hope there are tapes too! I heard that Jr., KKKushner and Manthefort are in a boy band together and that the whole meeting was an audition for Emin so they could open for him on his next tour of not America. They call themselves “The Pee Hookers”, of course. Whoa if true!

  • La forza del resistino

    How long before Junior just shrugs his shoulders over Natalia Veselnitskaya and says ‘the bitch set him up’. Or has he already inferred that.

    • Mr. Blobfish

      People were trying to float that turd yesterday. Basically Junior is too dumb for his own good.

  • Mr. Blobfish

    Firing Reinse will right the ship.

    • The KGB Ate Our Votes

      But Trump’s aiming at the bottom of the boat.

    • sosuume

      The RNC was complicit. They knew. Or at least looked the other way. Rinse Pubis will squeal. All of the GOP is dirty.

  • Covfefe

    Seems to me, Talia walked in there and went “Make me an offer.”

    • BeachBum

      “Where is fucking briefcase of money ?! American amateurs !”

  • Riley Whodat Venable

    I thought Trump Jr.’s first lie was “Who?”

    • wavicles

      With this group it’s more like ‘who’s on first?’.

  • schmannity

    Oh goody! Iowa Cyclone of Dumb, Rep. Steve King, says if Demoncrats don’t stop talking about the Rooskies, Congress will “be forced” to reopen investigation into Clinton emails.

    http://www.rawstory.com/2017/07/republican-threatens-to-re-open-investigation-for-hillarys-emails-if-media-keeps-reporting-on-russia/

    • WotsAllThisThen

      Pfft. Amateurs. If they were serious they’d reopen Whitewater. Get Ken Starr on the phone, stat!

  • bookish

    https://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/plum-line/wp/2017/07/12/how-trump-may-have-helped-don-jr-lie-about-his-explosive-russia-meeting/?utm_term=.fc00e770ab0a

    But the New York Times reports that Trump personally signed off on a statement that Trump Jr. released over the weekend, as reports of the meeting first surfaced, that told a very misleading story about what happened at it:

    As Air Force One jetted back from Europe on Saturday … participants on the plane and back in the United States debated how transparent to be in the statement, according to people familiar with the discussions.

    Ultimately, the people said, the president signed off on a statement from Donald Trump Jr. for The Times that was so incomplete that it required day after day of follow-up statements, each more revealing than the last.

    The statement from Trump Jr. that the president signed off on only said that the meeting was primarily about “a program about the adoption of Russian children.” This was before the Times disclosed that according to sources who had seen the email chain, it revealed that the meeting was really about sharing material about Hillary Clinton that came from the Russian government. That forced another statement from Trump Jr., in which he conceded that he had been offered information about Clinton but suggested he had no idea what the source of the information was. That last suggestion, of course, was blown up by the emails themselves.

    • WotsAllThisThen

      Amateurs. If they were serious they’d reopen Whitewater. Get Ken Starr on the phone, stat!

    • Komsumverweigerer Ron

      I’m beginning to think I understand Two Scoops’ odd reactions. See, Junior lied to him about those emails. And while it’s perfectly okay for Senior to lie his head off to everyone, including his family, Heaven help them if THEY lie to HIM.

  • mardam422

    Just wondering…can we call Don Jr. Don Don?

    • OneWhiteWhisker

      Is that like Moon Moon, but stupider?

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    And don’t give us this shit about how the Trump family is “new at politics.”

    Wish I could remember who said this, but lying =/= being new at politics, fuckos…

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/e32fb8d0d333d6bc9e8bd9fd717caa87e01bf6b7c5b3676d05e3ffd0e7f1a16b.jpg

  • The KGB Ate Our Votes

    Congressman Steve King (R-Idiocracy) has stated that “If this continues  —  this immobilization of the presidency over these kind of things   it’s going to force Congress to do an investigation, a complete and thorough investigation, and that means go back all the way to the 650,000 emails of Anthony Weiner and look at [former FBI Director James] Comey and his activities,” King said, via ThinkProgress.
    .
    Zero to Weiner in under 48 hours. Well played, dipshit.

    • jesterpunk
      • The KGB Ate Our Votes

        ♥ ♥ ♥

    • WotsAllThisThen

      If it gets much worse they might have to re-open the Benghazi investigation and call Monica Lewinski to testify.

    • Edith Prickly

      Cantaloupe doofus said what?

    • Thiazin Red

      Only 650,000? I thought Weiner had eleventy billion emailz.

    • CptnEng2311

      I take this quote as a tacit admission that what they have been doing up until now is _not_ a complete and thorough investigation… despite often repeated claims.

  • OutOfOrbit

    These “interesting times” we’re living in are beginning to amuse me.

  • therblig

    typical trumpy, claiming he and his son are the greatest witches. even bellatrix lestrange was better. and at least an 8.

  • BigCSouthside

    Mueller, hurry up. I got three bottles of Brunello for the Donald Trump is Over Party and I’d like to drink them

  • BreakingDeadMen

    The idea that they got nothing out of the meeting is an obvious lie, and contradicted by the timeline of the emails being made public and Trump, Sr.’s public proclamations. What gives Jr.’s lie some legs is that it paints him as venal enough to commit treason but too stupid to do it right. That sounds plausible, but I do think that committing fraud and laundering the gains from it are very much the unique skill set of the Trump family. The acorn is close enough.

    • BigCSouthside

      45’s approval of a coverup statement tells me all I need to know about that meeting. They got, and continued to get Intel after that meeting

      • BreakingDeadMen

        You avatar isn’t funny, it’s sick!

        • kareemachan

          I guess you never saw the original?

          • BreakingDeadMen

            Greatest magazine cover in history.

          • BigCSouthside

            Sorry I thought you were thinking I’m some animal abuser

          • BreakingDeadMen

            Nope, just a reference to a Lampoon album title. That early Lampoon is just about the hottest minute in the history of comedy.

          • Komsumverweigerer Ron

            In large part because of the dog’s expression.

        • BigCSouthside

          From national lampoon way back in the day.

          I am a crazy dog person i assure you. My pit bull leads a better life than most human children

        • Notreelyhelping
  • Edith Prickly

    Or are they all so used to being part of a crime family that they have no sense of right and wrong?

    DING DING DING!

  • leemoder

    If his suit were shinier I’d be more inclined to believe him.

  • Kiri the Unicorn

    “In short, everybody in the White House is kung fu fighting!”

    https://youtu.be/CUp1BAd7WWE

  • gingerland62
  • azeyote

    they aren’t even good at being criminals –

  • Angela Ruzzo

    I finally figured out who Donny Trump reminds me of. It is Buck Hannassey (Chuck Connors), the idiot son of patriarch Rufus Hannassey (Burl Ives) in the movie “The Big Country.” Donald is not unlike Major Terrill (Charles Bickford), and Ivanka is not unlike his spoiled daughter, Patricia (Caroll Baker). Is Jared Kushner playing the role of lickspittle Steve Leech (Charlton Heston) who is in love with Patricia (Ivanka)? But where is our hero, Captain McKey (Gregory Peck)?????

    • C4TWOMAN

      Proving that privileged wankers, in fiction or real life , are all pretty much interchangeable.
      At least the ones in fiction don’t threaten national security….

  • BeachBum

    “Everybody was Kung Fu fighting ! Those kicks were fast as lightening.
    There was Rottin’ Rincy Prebes, an’ Blotin Bannon Butts, Jackin’ Jaredass,…”

  • DainBramage
  • Pax Americana Per Ars Smith

    Two Scoops slapped his kid to the floor in front of his friends in his dorm in college for attempting to wear a Yankees shirt instead of a suit to a game. Imagine what Two Scoops is contemplating for this.

    Oh yes, obligatory:

    https://youtu.be/zgHXHtHSsNo

    • Clark_Nova

      I wouldn’t be going out on any boats with Donnie Two-Scoops.

  • Royal Ugly Dude

    Aras Agalarov, Emin’s Russian oligarch dad, who is buddies with Putin.

    Yes, and Emin Agalarov was also (until recently) the son-in-law of Azerbaijan’s dictator, Ilham Aliyev. His father (the previous president Hader Aliyev, who passed away over a decade ago) had deep connections to Putin going back to his time as a member of the Soviet Politburo and the KGB.

    It is an open secret in Azerbaijan that the Aliyev family controls over a quarter of the national economy, and they profit personally from every import and export. I was living there when this information came out in the Panama Papers, and none of the citizens were surprised about the revelations.

    • ResistanceFictionista blondeiq

      Even their corruption is corrupt. It’s the corruptest corruption in the long and storied history of corrupt corruption.

  • natoslug

    Is witch hunting like t-ball?- every hunter is the greatest? That’s going to be one fucking crowded awards ceremony, I tells you what. Can’t wait for tomorrow’s “The ice in my Coke light was half melted. This is the greatest witch hunt in political history! #shart” tweet.

    • Longstreet63

      Rather like “The largest inaugural crowd in history” and “the biggest electoral margin in history.”
      I guess his witch hunt got a participation ribbon and he assumed it was white* for first place, since he doesn’t do egghead stuff like reading or looking at things.

      *Curiously, all the first place ribbons he ever got were inexplicably white and said things like “honorable mention” or “present”, but his employees all explained that this was the top award and means he won.

      • natoslug

        “I’m a star! I got the constellation prize!” That’s consolation, Donnie. Now STFU and quitcher pussgrabbin’ — it’s starting to make Ivanka uncomfortable.

    • covfefesumgame0005

      HEY. where is MY Participation Trophy!?!?!

      • natoslug

        Have you looked under your seat?

  • Bitter Scribe

    Apparently when Junior was a kid, Daddy Trump would occasionally slap him around in public. That would explain a lot.

    • Mehmeisterjr

      It would especially explain his shooting lions.

    • C4TWOMAN

      I read that from a FB post of an old classmate(junior’s). It’s just possible he’s getting revenge on the old man, hoping he’s convicted, by playing the bumbling idiot…not that we’d know the difference at this point.

  • natoslug

    Is today the day Donut finally became presidential?

  • LifelongLurker

    If this is what Junior considers innocent and even exculpatory, imagine what horrors his guilty conscience is holding back.

    • ResistanceFictionista blondeiq

      Assumes facts not in evidence: guilty conscience.

      • Lisa

        Also assumes facts not in evidence: possession of any type of conscience.

  • mancityRed6

    “Paul Manafort played on his phone the whole time”
    I have this little app I downloaded for my phone, it lets me use it as a audio recording device. I’m not saying that’s what he was doing, but it would be irresponsible not to speculate.

    • KenHoughton

      Playing on his phone = taking notes, sending texts/IMs/emails, taping, and generally doing all of the stuff someone with forty (40!) years as a political operative knows better than to do while in an illegal meeting.
      “New at politics,” my ass!

  • Les Appentis De la résistance

    Mueller’s code name for his investigation: Moscow Ballet’s Great Russian Nutcracker

    • ResistanceFictionista blondeiq

      That’s bolshoi, I say!

    • Mehmeisterjr

      Nutcracker conspiracy? Ees feerst time I Kirov eet.

    • And Junior’s code name is “Fredo”

  • Longstreet63

    Clearly, it was no big deal to conspire with Russians back then, because they hadn’t been caught conspiring with Russians yet.

  • timpundit

    Everybody was Cow Fu Fighting.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LxXjsQbCZR8

    • C4TWOMAN

      That is silly …and distubring…

  • Meatus

    Maybe Manafort was on his phone the whole time just TEXTING EVERYTHING TO PRE-PRESIDENT ELECT SKID MARK.

    • Petunia Cat

      Good point! Change the genre from Nothing Burger Villa to These Cretinous Boobs Engaged in a Drooling Conspiracy and the same words have a different meaning. 😯

  • Weird Fishes

    Plus the way he knots his ties is incredibly obnoxious.

  • Panika MCD

    it doesn’t matter if there are tapes or not. the taking of the meeting to solicit oppo research–something campaigns usually pay for and must disclose as paid for or in-kind donations if they don’t even if the in-kind donation is advice on the issue of adopting from Russia–from a foreign entity is a conspiracy in and of itself. they conspired to break the law. just because what they conspired to do “didn’t yield anything” doesn’t mean they didn’t try. it’s the try that is the conspiracy. and just because they’re new to campaigns, doesn’t mean that Manafort is not and should have advised Jr. to shove his meeting directly up his butthole where it belonged.

    • C4TWOMAN

      But if we conspire to murder someone and we fail because we suck at sniper rifles, it’s all square, right? I mean no one died or anything…
      *side eye snark*

      • Panika MCD

        so long as you don’t go blabbing about our plan to throw momma from the train to the NYT, we’re fine, Larry!

  • The “it’s not collusion because Russia didn’t actually have any dirt on Hillary” defense sure is an interesting approach.

    • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

      I believe it was Colbert who said “I broke into that house, but there wasn’t anything to steal, so really, THEY were robbing ME”

      • Clark_Nova

        Trevor Noah’s take on it was even more succinct but if I repeated it here it would be censored just like it was on the Daily Show.

  • “Transparent.” Like a particularly empty vase.

  • Mehmeisterjr

    …According to three sources, human grease stain Donald Trump Jr. wanted to come clean about his little Russian meeting this weekend. However, three OTHER sources say nope, he wanted to lie like a common His Dad. Who’s right? Three sources! We just don’t know which three.

    I figure that all six three sources are right. Here’s how:

    Bear in mind that Donnie Half-Scoop is a Trump and like all Trumps, he routinely says two mutually contradictory things, one after the other. To Three Sources A, B and C, he says, “I wanna do the right thing and come clean.” He then turns around and says to Three Sources D, E and F, “I wanna do the right thing and lie my brilliantined head off.” It’s the Trump Family Way.

  • WideStance

    Mueller, as advertised when he took the job, has been leak-proof. My guess is that the June 9 meeting and the.communications that preceded and followed it are old news to the Mueller team.

    • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

      Right? I highly doubt they use email or any kind of electronic communication. Walks in the park with a lot of noise around, “Moscow rules,” they’re not stupid.

  • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

    greatest political witch hunt in history, huh?

    I’m sure the wonketteers here could provide a few counter examples.

    (Lil Donnie Drama, man).

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      We would take exception to that.

      Goody Good, Goody Bishop, Rebecca Nurse, Goody Howe, et al

      • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

        american communists in the 20th century, purges of non-republicans US Attorneys under Bush, most of hillary’s professional life, the gays in the state dept. in the 1960’s…

        • ⭐️Most Accurate Poster 2017⭐️

          Guys, it is almost like there are lots of examples of greater witch-hunts. I am beginning to think that perhaps Donald was not correct?

          • House0fTheBlueLights

            What we are all missing here is that everything that happens to Donald is the biggest and the mostest.

    • sgt. jmk of the résistance
      • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

        for like 25 or 30 years…

    • dshwa

      Every Clinton “scandal” ever?

  • puredog

    “Or are they all so used to being part of a crime family that they have no sense of right and wrong?”
    Bingo.

    • SisterArtemis

      that one bingoed for me too

    • AmazingProfessionalCrastinator

      Or they absolutely know right from wrong and just don’t care. Whatever means that it takes to get what they want they will use.

  • puredog

    From the “It-Would-Be-Irresponsible-Not-to-Speculate” Department:
    As I was driving and listening to NPR this AM, I reeled out the following in my mind, which seems entirely plausible, and which I have not exactly heard anywhere. All it takes is a belief that the Rooskis/Putin are smart and conniving bastids, that they are playing 11th-dimensional chess, and that Trump & Co. are woefully incompetent and playing a bad game of two-dimensional checkers, badly. It goes like this:

    1. As to the election itself, Russia was all over it, maybe manipulating actual vote counts, at least unleashing tons of disinformation. Like a dog chasing a car, they couldn’t have been more surprised when they actually caught it, i.e., Trump was elected. Their primary goal was just to destabilize and delegitimize the process to the greatest extent possible.

    2. Trump’s victory was just the icing on the cake. But NOT because they necessarily thought he was a “useful idiot.” No, the contingency plan in the preposterous case that he actually won — ALL ALONG — was to sow the seeds for YEARS MORE of instability. And that’s what we are seeing now with the chaos. I suspect that Veselnitskaya really didn’t have anything for DJTJ. She just set up the meeting so that it would happen, eventually come out, and help to fuel the current uproar. I would not be in the slightest bit surprised that it was Emin, or Papa, or Vald & Co. who leaked the emails to the NYT; I mean, who else had them? So Vlad & Co. may now piously assert that they just wanted to talk about Russian babbies, and there WAS NO ANTI-CLINTON DIRT in the first place. But by doing all this and throwing things into an uproar (over what is, at bottom, sort of a nothing-burger, putting aside DJTJ’s eagerness to eat a real treason-burger), they have continued to fuel this clusterfuck that is essentially bringing the U.S. Government to a grinding halt.

    Truly, it’s an impressive bit of fuckery.

    • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

      My only addition would be that Putin is actually just playing checkers, and Obama and Hillary easily bested him, and Trump is just so stupid and gullible and awful that all it took was a little fake flattery, and perhaps a false assurance of protection from the Russian mob lenders he was trying to stiff, and he eagerly went along.

      • dshwa

        I wouldn’t trust Trump to understand flip cup, let alone checkers.

    • dshwa

      Selling the Russians as nefarious supervillains has always been a stretch. But you don’t win the lottery on skill, you get lucky.

  • khanurik

    props for your Comey impression

  • kittygrrl

    According to The Palmer Report, because Veselnitskaya is a known entity to the FBI as a Moscow mole, the conversation was taped. It was Manafort’s declaration of the meeting that outed him. And Jr. is too dumb for words thinking that there was any info about HRC not previously known. She’s the most investigated woman on the planet for God’s sake. Putin is getting the last laugh as democracy burns, and the WH is stuck in paralysis mode no longer able to call the Russian collusion fake news.

    • C4TWOMAN

      The only way they might be able to dodge this bullet is if that rogue NY FBI cell is still operating. I would assume with Mueller on the case they’d have disbanded or at least are laying low…perhaps vacationing in a country with no extradition treaty….

  • House0fTheBlueLights

    are they all so used to being part of a crime family that they have no sense of right and wrong?

    dingdingdingdingdingding!

  • JustDon’tSaySortMyBalls

    Fed court just settled a money-laundering case involving Russians. Guess who the defense lawyer was? Go on, guess!

  • gratuitous

    Just because Junior lied about whether there was a meeting (there was), and who was there, and where it happened, and what was discussed, and how long it lasted (probably), we can all be 100% sure that NOW he’s telling the unvarnished truth, and quit looking at that can of Homer Formby’s!

  • SisterArtemis

    ok, my mind is really tired of being boggled…

    • Mine also , too. If this plot thickens anymore it’ll be cement. I firmly believe that with all the tentacles this has got, it will nab a whole bunch of “collaborators” including, but not limited to, members of Congress/Senate and various rich businessassholes.
      Idiot DT is going to France where I hope he gets a really warm reception. Can’t wait.

    • dshwa

      I’m beyond boggle at this point.

  • whitroth

    Ok. Wonketteers, be of good cheer. You realize what this fool (Ah pity th’ po’ fool!) just did?

    Mueller: here’s a subpoena for any and all phone records and emails, including from nightly backups, between Fool, Jr, and Fool, Sr. on and around these dates, and emails and phone records between “Rhona” and Tool, Sr. on and around those dates.

    AKA he’s just handed Mueller & co the keys to the kingdom.

  • Vagenda and Pee-ara

    Kasowitz has another little problem:
    “Kasowitz may actually be forced to step down for reasons that have nothing to do with Trump. He said on Tuesday that he isn’t seeking a security clearance, though other attorneys say that would be absolutely essential for handling a case involving so much classified information. ProPublica reported on Tuesday night that Kasowitz may not be able to obtain one due to his issues with alcoholism:

    In recent weeks, ProPublica spoke with more than two dozen current and former employees of Kasowitz’s firm, Kasowitz Benson Torres LLP, as well as his friends and acquaintances. Past and present employees of the firm said in interviews that Kasowitz has struggled intermittently with alcohol abuse, leading to a stint in rehab in the winter of 2014-15.

    Several people told ProPublica that Kasowitz has been drinking in recent months. (The vast majority of those who spoke to ProPublica for this article declined to be quoted by name, citing Kasowitz’s penchant for threatening lawsuits.)
    The site said federal investigators commonly raise concerns when “behaviors might make someone vulnerable to blackmail or suggest poor judgment.””

    http://nymag.com/daily/intelligencer/2017/07/don-jr-story-puts-white-house-infighting-in-overdrive.html

  • Cornelius Fussbudget

    Supposedly, this meeting was a dud because the Russians didn’t actually have any info from their hackery. I guess the idea is that some other unknown entity hacked the DNC to steal those emails. There were a few Republicans willing to still say that out loud in January, but they seem to be getting pretty rare these days.

    I suppose you could claim that Veselnitskaya wasn’t officially representing Russia, and that she was just lying about her connections. Better get a megaphone because you’ll have to drown out the chorus of people who report otherwise, e.g.:

    “She’s not just some private lawyer,” William F. Browder, the American who hired Magnitsky to investigate alleged fraud in Russia, told The Times. “She is a tool of the Russian government.”

  • BJW

    Lordy, lordy! I think I’m warming up to this expression. Thank you, James Comey.

  • Celtic_Gnome

    And a great Huzzah! went up in the house of Eric Trump, and there was much celebrating.

    • dshwa

      I’m waiting for The Spawn vs. The Dauphin. Sooner it later, Jr. and the Nazi Vampire are gonna start wondering if Daddy put the Kush at the top of the will. At that point our government is gonna turn into a cross between the Hapsburgs, the Borgias, and the Tudors.

  • SayItWithWookies

    I just watched that interview, and damn — Sean Hannity couldn’t have been tougher on Little Donny if he’d conducted the interview in a swimming pool full of down pillows. I sure hope Donny’s confidence grows enough for him to grant a real interview, because I got some questions:
    — Who the hell is Rhona?
    — Don, when you read the email saying this was part of the Russian government’s ongoing effort to help your daddy win, what the fuck seemed okay about that?
    — How come your daddy first mentioned the 33,000 deleted emails only hours after your “nothing” meeting with Veselnitskaya?
    — The email you released also said that Veselnitskaya was a representative of the Russian government. So where is the other correspondence or phone records of subsequent meetings that arranged the date and time of the visit? Did you ask any questions about who you were talking to or what the subject matter was? Let’s see that stuff. And maybe some correspondence afterwards too, between you and Goldstone. Would it say “Hey, why did you send this person to me” or be more along the lines of “Dad used that dossier so quick — many thanks!”

    • Petunia Cat

      Rhona is Trump’s multi-decade, well trusted appointment booker. 🖋

  • Keith Taylor

    H.P. Lovecraft wrote a lot of stories on the theme of hideous beings from a universe in which normal laws of nature don’t apply, who spawned abnormal offspring on human women. I used to think old H.P. was a bizarre racist neurotic who wrote cosmic horror fantasy. It now appears he was a bizarre racist neurotic who wrote fact.
    I mean, could this father and his sons’ thought processes originate anywhere but in an alien universe where, etcetera?

  • Petunia Cat

    I just want to tediously point out that “crown prosecutor” is just British/Canadian/etc. for “the DAs office”. It’s not a particular person. The government in Britain/Canada/etc. is called “The Crown” in legal proceedings. All the people who do what DAs and assistant district attorney to do are called “Crown Prosecutors”. 🇨🇦 👑 🇬🇧

  • Debravhorton

    Google is paying 97$ per hour! Work for few hours and have longer with friends & family! !pd170d:
    On tuesday I got a great new Land Rover Range Rover from having earned $8752 this last four weeks.. Its the most-financialy rewarding I’ve had.. It sounds unbelievable but you wont forgive yourself if you don’t check it
    !pd170d:
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  • Tina in Spokane WA

    The Trump Crime Family is proving to be more “The Gang Who Couldn’t Shoot Straight” than “The Godfather.” Or the “Apple Dumpling Gang” with Donny Jr as Donn Knots and Jared as Tim Conway.

  • Magic Juan
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