Remember how Donald Trump Jr.’s initial explanation for the secret meeting he, Paul Manafort and Jared Kushner had with Russian lawyer Natalia Veselnitskaya was that she wanted to talk to them about how it’s terrible that Americans can’t adopt bouncy Russian babies, because the Russian government got mad about a mean American law called the Magnitsky Act? Hahaha, SCRATCH THAT, for it is some bullshit.
Remember how Li’l Biscuit’s later explanation was that he was promised by an “acquaintance” that he would get some anti-Hillary dirt gossip? Monday night, the New York Times reported that the “acquaintance,” music publicist Rob Goldstone, who reps Russian pop star Emin and his Russian oligarch dad Aras Agalarov, specifically emailed Junior saying the anti-Hillary dirt was part of a Russian government effort to help Daddy Trump’s candidacy. This is the actual truth, but OMG there is so much more.
Junior just fucking TWEETED OUT HIS ENTIRE EMAIL CHAIN WITH GOLDSTONE. He said he was doing it “in order to be totally transparent,” but WE think he did it because the New York Times called and said, “Hey stinky, guess what we’re about to publish? LOLOLOLOL!”
This makes Junior look bad, especially since the subject line of the FIRST EMAIL from Goldstone is “Russia – Clinton – private and confidential.” It’s an email chain, so you’ll want to start at the bottom:
In case you cannot embiggen, here are the key points. In the FIRST EMAIL from Goldstone, he says:
The Crown prosecutor of Russia met with [Emin’s] father Aras this morning and in their meeting offered to provide the Trump campaign with some official documents and information that would incriminate Hillary and her dealings with Russia and would be very useful to your father.
This is obviously very high level and sensitive information but is part of Russia and its government’s support for Mr. Trump — helped on by Aras and Emin.
“THE CROWN PROSECUTOR OF RUSSIA.” While the actual title is “prosecutor general of Russia,” this is a very high Russian government position! It is like the Russian Loretta Lynch! (Fuck you Jeff Sessions, you’re not worthy of your title.)
“PART OF RUSSIA AND ITS GOVERNMENT’S SUPPORT FOR MR. TRUMP.” It’s right there! The foreign enemy nation is working to help your daddy in all kinds of ways, and this is one of them. You game for some collusion?
Junior responded 17 minutes later, saying, “I love it, especially later in the summer.” You know, when it could really do damage. Like maybe the end of July during the Democratic Convention or something? Oh we are just putting words in Junior’s mouth!
Most of the rest of the email chain is about scheduling, but there is another very interesting thing. Remember how we are supposed to believe, according to both Junior and the Russians, that Russian lawyer Natalia Veselnitskaya is not part of the Russian government? That’s funny, because in the email chain, Goldstone refers to Veselnitskaya as the “Russian government lawyer”:
Junior is like AYUP, can’t wait, that Russian government lawyer is gonna tell me some SHEEEEEEEEEIT about Hillary! Ima bring Paul Manafort and Jay-Jay Kushner, so we may share this collusion experience, sexually! Indeed, Junior forwarded this entire email chain to Manafort and Kushner, just to make sure they all could experience the joy of the Russian collusion circle jerk.
This is a far cry from Tuesday morning, when Trump Jr. was tweeting about how this meeting was “nonsense” and shows the “desperation” of the “Media & Dems.” It’s also hilarious, because Dead Breitbart’s Internet Home For Steve Bannon’s Leaking Skin Tags wrote this morning about “DURR DURR DURR NEW YORK TIMES HASN’T EVEN SEEN THE EMAILS DOY DOY DOY WE ARE THE SERIOUS JOURNALISTS AROUND HERE.” Good instincts, dickwits!
Senator Lindsey Graham was interviewed on MSNBC this morning, and he immediately used the excuse that Donald Trump Jr. and Jared Kushner are new to politics, so give ’em a break, you guys! MSNBC anchors Stephanie Ruhle and Ali Velshi were like “Um, OK, fine, but Paul Manafort has been in politics for 40 fucking years, so why don’t you politely insert that argument back inside your ass?”
Meanwhile, the Trump White House sent Hungarian Nazi Pajama Boy Sebastian Gorka out to run interference on this, and he told CNN’s Alisyn Camerota it’s NBD because Junior isn’t even a “member of the administration.” Haha OK, that may be true, but Jared Kushner certainly is! And all three were part of the Trump campaign, you know, the campaign Robert Mueller is investigation for colluding with Russia.
Anyway, we are sure this is all #FAKE NEWS, except for the part where Donald Trump Jr., the unfortunate thing that happened the first time one of Daddy Trump’s dog-paddling sperm miraculously found purchase inside a human lady’s egg, TWEETED THIS FROM HIS PERSONAL ACCOUNT. Perhaps Trump Senior needs to amend his public statements on the Russia matter to say, “NO COLLUSION. NO COLLUSION. MY FUGLY ASS SON IS THE COLLUSION.”
We are just saying.
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