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How disappointed Daddy must be yet again.

Recently, we learned a weird story about what seemed like attempted collusion between Trump people and Russia, but there was no smoking gun that said, “There! That is Trump people and Russia, colluding like a couple of horny teenagers!” This weekend, though, we learned that high-up Trump person Donald Trump Jr. specifically tried to do horny collusion with this one Russian lawyer chick in the summer of 2016. WHOA IF TRUE!

The New York Times reported Saturday that, during the 2016 campaign, immediately after Donald Trump secured the GOP nomination for president, Donald Trump Jr., the Creepy McBadFace thing what emerged the first time God decided to bless Trump with an heir, had met with this Russian lawyer named Natalia Veselnitskaya at Trump Tower. Trump’s first campaign manager Paul Manafort and his doting son-in-law Jared Kushner also were there. (Surprise, Kushner originally forgot to disclose this meeting in his security clearance filings, because he frequently forgets such things.)

Junior’s excuses for his bad behavior have changed throughout the weekend. Initially, he told the New York Times that yeah, he totally had that meeting, and it was about letting Americans adopt bouncy Russian babies. You see, Americans haven’t been able to do that since 2012, when Russia had a shitfit in its Russian panties over a law called the Magnitsky Act, which “blacklists suspected human rights abusers” from Russia, as the NYT puts it. One component of it was a Trump Travel Ban, but instead of banning innocent Muslims, it banned 18 Russians thought to be responsible for stealing actual entire companies and also for Russian lawyer Sergei Magnitsky’s death in prison, and banned them from using the American banking system. In response, Russia banned American adoption of Russian babies, and also banned its own list of Americans from entering Russia, among them Bush administration officials David Addington and John Yoo, and also a bunch of U.S. Attorneys and A.U.S.A.’s, including Preet Bharara, whom Trump memorably fired because “reasons.”

Veselnitskaya, as you probably can assume, hates the Magnitsky Act, and has made it her life’s work to fight for its repeal, because it’s totally unfair not to let Russians go around killing people and abusing human rights.

Here is Junior, ‘splaining himself on Saturday:

It was a short introductory meeting. I asked Jared and Paul to stop by. We primarily discussed a program about the adoption of Russian children that was active and popular with American families years ago and was since ended by the Russian government, but it was not a campaign issue at the time and there was no follow up. I was asked to attend the meeting by an acquaintance, but was not told the name of the person I would be meeting with.

He didn’t even know who this meeting was with, but “an acquaintance” made him go, and he decided to invite his BFF Paul Manafort and his brother-in-law Jared, because why not. And it was no big deal, because they DIDN’T TALK NOTHIN’ about Daddy Trump’s campaign, which was why the campaign manager was there, to not talk about the campaign.

Later on Saturday, Mark Corallo, a spox for Trump lawyer Marc Kasowitz, said it was all a big set-up, maybe to trick the Trump campaign into accidentally doing hot, wet collusion with Russia. Know whose fault it really was? Hillary Clinton’s, of course:

“We have learned that the person who sought the meeting is associated with Fusion GPS, a firm which, according to public reports, was retained by Democratic operatives to develop opposition research on the President and which commissioned the phony Steele dossier. These developments raise serious issues as to exactly who authorized and participated in any effort by Russian nationals to influence our election in any manner.

Uh huh OK, the Democrats tricked the Trumpers into colluding with Russia, and somebody from Fusion GPS laid a trap that Donald Trump Jr., Paul Manafort and Jared Kushner all just fell into. We’re just … um … that’s not even … like if you are going to lie … THAT SHIT DOESN’T EVEN MAKE SENSE, TRY AGAIN AND GO TO HELL.

Corallo says Veselnitskaya “misrepresented” who she was when she sought the meeting. Meanwhile, the NYT notes that her only connection to Fusion GPS is that she uses a private investigator from that firm. That is literally the connection Trump’s idiot lawyers are seizing on here.

Anyway, on SUNDAY, the New York Times reported that actually, according to three White House advisers and two other sources, ambulatory anal wart Donald Trump Jr. took the meeting because the Russian lawyer lady was promising DIRTY SEXXX DIRT about Hillary Clinton. This led fuckhead to revise his earlier statement:

I was asked to have a meeting by an acquaintance I knew from the 2013 Miss Universe pageant with an individual who I was told might have information helpful to the campaign. I was not told her name prior to the meeting. I asked Jared and Paul to attend, but told them nothing of the substance. We had a meeting in June 2016. After pleasantries were exchanged, the woman stated that she had information that individuals connected to Russia were funding the Democratic National Committee and supporting Ms. Clinton. Her statements were vague, ambiguous and made no sense. No details or supporting information was provided or even offered. It quickly became clear that she had no meaningful information.

Junior says that after she provided NO SEXXXY DIRT, she changed the subject and talked about bouncy Russian babies. Poor Junior! He was all ready to unbutton his knickers and collude with the Russian lady for daddy, but he couldn’t get there! He also says Daddy didn’t know about it, because apparently there are just some things you don’t tell Daddy.

Let’s not miss the giant point here, which is that when offered the chance to canoodle with a Russian for the purposes of hurting his dad’s opponent, Junior got a gleeful boner and said, “Yeah let’s do it! Can I bring my friends Paul and Jared too?” Maybe Veselnitskaya actually didn’t have any information to share. Or maybe Junior is lying about that too. Regardless, ACHTUNG! COLLUSION! Or at least a good old college try at it!

The Washington Post flags the sheer number of times Donald Trump and members of his inner circle, including the first fruits of his sad sperm, have denied unequivocally that anybody from Team Trump ever met with a Russian for the purposes of collusion. Monday morning, Trump liar-in-chief Kellyanne Conway went on TV and said that, even in the face of Junior admitting to popping a tent in his Underoos at the chance to collude with a Russian, this is definitely not evidence of collusion. As always, the only proper response is “STFU, Kellyanne Conway.”

We don’t know if special counsel Robert Mueller was investigating Junior before this, but we bet he is now.

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[New York Times / ibid.]

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  • msanthropesmr

    “I just wanted to get peed on. I thought that I could get peed on.”

  • msanthropesmr

    This is sooooo stupid. If the Democrats had indeed set this up – THEY WOULD HAVE EXPOSED IT BEFORE THE ELECTION NOT AFTER YOU FUCKING DIMWITS!

    • I am emabarrassed by how simply BAD they are at this.

      • msanthropesmr

        You’re Canadian. You have things to be embarrassed about (Such as Rob Ford) but not this.

        • mancityRed6

          Rob Ford would be an improvement.

          • Yeah, he’s dead so he wouldn’t be able to cause any trouble!

          • msanthropesmr

            I was going to appoint Neil Gorsuch, but I got high.

          • marxalot

            Look, I only smoked the crack because I was suuuuuper drunk, okay? Which is also why I stole that SUV and tried to break into the zoo.

      • goonemeritus

        The thing about todays Republican electorate is you no longer have to take the time to fabricate a plausible excuse. Anything can be blamed on Hillary or Barry including the extinction of the dinosaurs.

        • calliecallie

          Wait, are you suggesting Barry DIDN’T go back in the time machine and kill off those dinosaurs? I don’t believe that for a second.

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      Hey, hey, hey now – just because the Dems are capable of thinking things all the way through to the end doesn’t make them special.
      Oh, wait.
      Yes, it does.

  • Run2Live

    Trump’s kids are so competitive. After Eric got caught stealing from kids w/cancer, Diaper Don Jr. had to let everyone know he committed treason.

    • msanthropesmr

      “Hold my champagne glass, darling”
      -Tiffany

      • mancityRed6

        *popsicle

        • marxalot

          Champagne popsicles sound a lot tastier than they are.

          • mancityRed6

            I honestly can’t drink the stuff without it being a mimosa/buck’s fizz.

          • marxalot

            For some reason it’s hard to get anything but Brut in this country, which is just as harsh as it sounds. I used to be partial to demi-sec with breakfast, which helps explain why I’ve been sober almost two years.

          • mancityRed6

            my first xmas in the UK, I brought home two bottles of wine from work (!) and the ex brought home some champers from hers. we actually didn’t have to get much from the store, it was just a good thing we both got a week of vacation.

      • Msgr_MΩment

        YOU LEAVE TIFFANY OUT OF THIS SHIT SHOW!!

        • msanthropesmr

          You know, she has kept a real low profile in all this – she may be the smart one.

      • BeachBum

        Why am I picturing Green Acres ?

  • GreenGoldSharpie

    This is what happens when you have to return to a coffin filled with your grave dirt every day. Just not enough time to plan things, and this Russian bitch had a lovely neck.

  • Indiepalin

    What about lil Barron Trump’s secret meeting with Maria Sharapova?

    • Major_Major_Major

      To be fair, I would collude with Maria Sharapova

      • proudgrampa

        If colluding with Maria Sharapova is wrong, I don’t wanna be right!

      • BeachBum

        She would break me into pieces but it would be worth it.

  • proudgrampa

    He has more versions of this story than Carter has pills.

    1. Did not meet Russians.
    2. Met with Russians about Adoption.
    3. Russians had damaging info on Clinton.
    4. Introduction to pee hookers.
    5. ???

    • Suttree

      5. Profit!

  • canes_pugnaces

    No grifter Russian family. No grifter Russian family. You’re the grifter Russian family.

  • Dr. Rrrrrobotnik

    Much as he’s a creepy McFuckface, I can’t help but feel a little bad for this guy; he just wants to make Dad happy, and always fails. I remember seeing this story from when Jr. was in college:

    “Don Jr. opened the door, wearing a Yankee jersey. Without saying a word, his father slapped him across the face, knocking him to the floor in front of all of his classmates,” Melker writes on Facebook. “He simply said ‘put on a suit and meet me outside,’ and closed the door.” http://www.miaminewtimes.com/news/miami-dj-says-he-watched-donald-trump-brutally-slap-his-son-in-college-8900500

    How many kids do you know would be normal after a childhood like *that*?!?

    • mancityRed6

      people who say “fuck you, dad” as they’re walking out the door, never to return?
      and some counselling would have been a good idea.
      but then he wouldn’t have had a chance at that filthy lucre, does he?

      • Dr. Rrrrrobotnik

        Were everyone so strong, but he seems like he was specifically raised to *not* be that strong. It’d have been a miracle for him to be able to walk away relatively intact, even if Trump were to allow it (which I seriously doubt he would). None of the Trump kids seems to have been that lucky.

        • mancityRed6

          I’ll agree. some people stay in a bad situation for whatever reason.

          • ariel_gee_398

            Mostly because that is what abusers train you to do. They train their victims to derive all of their self-worth from the abuser’s opinion of them. Psychologically, that’s incredibly difficult to break away from even with a lot of financial and emotional resources available to you.

          • mancityRed6

            and I’ll agree.
            some parts of my life aren’t really blocked out, but I just don’t think about them much.

        • Seek

          I’m not one to praise Marla but she thought enough of her child to pack up and move to the West Coast to minimize her daughter’s exposure to him. Tiffany may not inherit as much, if there’s anything left, but she will be less damaged.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        The filthy lucre is Donald’s hold on his spawn.

    • Lance Thrustwell

      I always questioned that story. Those kids’ father-pleasing personalities strike me as a product of affection-withholding rather than outright abuse.

      • Dr. Rrrrrobotnik

        It seems pretty in character for Trump, especially given his obsession with image and proprietorial interest in the people around him. And it was likely the same discipline meted out to him as a kid.

        • Lance Thrustwell

          Could be. I certainly wouldn’t put it past him.

    • ariel_gee_398

      I think most of the kids were likely abused by him, and probably all the wives, too. I have a lot of sympathy for how difficult it is to break away from a toxic, abusive relationship, but that is bumping up against my concern for the entire country with this crew in charge.

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      At that point Jr. had a choice to make: suck up to Daddy Dearest for the cash and the easy life, or walk away and strive to become a better person and make it on his own. That he chose the cash and the lavish lifestyle eradicates any sympathy I’d have for him even if I believed that story, which, given that it originated with a member of the Drumpf clan, I really don’t.

      • Suttree

        Exactly. Fuck him!

      • Dr. Rrrrrobotnik

        Not sure why that story would come from the Trumps themselves; that’s a hideous little anecdote hinting at a hellish family life. And it’s difficult to say he should have just walked away: his dad has probably loomed over and taken a proprietorial interest in his life from the moment he was born. Whatever independence he had was likely crushed out of him years ago. I can despise the man he’s become, but still sympathize with the boy he was.

      • Celtic_Gnome

        If this was done in front of his classmates, did anybody talk to them to confirm it? I think I’d remember if my classmate’s father slapped him hard enough to knock him down for not wearing a suit to a baseball game.

        • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

          I call bullshit simply because Trump’s teeny hands probably couldn’t even dislodge a tictac stuck to Junior’s dangling lower lip, let alone knock him flat.

  • Nockular cavity

    Her statements were vague, ambiguous and made no sense.

    This is now a negative in Trumpland? Those words apply to pretty much everything Donny Daddy says.

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      Her statements were vague and ambiguous because she’s been trained in Russian spycraft, you fucking moron! They’re not going to come right out and say “You owe us a shitload of money so we’re going to steal this election for you.”

  • Crystalclear12

    These are the people running our country?!

    • msanthropesmr

      Running? Not so much. Stumbling? yeah – about right.

    • Jeffery Campbell

      These are the people ruining our country. FIFY.

  • Skwerl the Taco Hunter
  • GreenGoldSharpie

    Over-under on an upcoming series of pardons for the family?

    • Paperless Tiger

      Gingrich floated that option for Trump some time ago. Just pass out pardons and keep on criming.

    • BeachBum

      At least 4 already. I think they will let Col PossumGrits III, Manafort, and Flynn go down with the ship.

      • I want sessions to go under so badly i can taste it.

  • armed_bears
  • GreenGoldSharpie

    Trumpanzees are out in force screaming that it’s only criminal if you succeed.

    It’s pretty funny.

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      Because none of their Uncle Daddies are in prison for attempted murder. Uh-huh.

  • schmannity

    So Junior brought Jared and Manafort along to watch him canoodle with the sexxxy Russian? They really are cucks.

  • Crystalclear12

    Republicans seem a little quieter this time.
    Maybe they are noticing that It’s look like anchors?

    • Komsumverweigerer Ron

      Personally I’m hoping they don’t notice their own feet are tangled in the anchor chain until it’s way too late.

  • msanthropesmr

    I want to meet nice Russian Lady like Daddy met nice Slovene lady. I think I swept the wrong way on Tinder for this.

    • Jeffocaster in the East

      Daddy met Ukrainian lady and you know how that turned out…….

      • msanthropesmr

        Some smart neurotic children and a horse farm, of all things.

        • Jeffocaster in the East

          And bean loaf, don’t forget bean loaf…..

          • msanthropesmr

            Home hair cuts and home clothing.

      • Msgr_MΩment

        Daddy needs to czech out these women better before he meets them.

        And vice versa, obviously.

  • ArgieBargie

    “Hey, they told me ‘Russian lady wants to talk babies.’ What was I supposed to do, turn her down?!”

  • ariel_gee_398
    • msanthropesmr

      Huh. I’d forgotten about that.

    • Vincent Ricola

      Because that’s what innocent people who aren’t treasonous pieces of shit do when faced with a serious ethical decision.

  • Lance Thrustwell

    My worry about stuff trickling out like this is that it gives people (and Congress) time to get used to it, see it as old news, etc. I’d kinda like Mueller to be able to gather up ALL the dirt, and dump it in one big pile in front of everyone’s faces. Boom!

    • proudgrampa

      Yeah. I agree. This trickle-down stuff is getting to be “ho-hum, so what else is new?”

    • GreenGoldSharpie

      I think it’s past time whether people are going to get used to it. This is blatantly criminal, and how the people feel won’t protect you from the law.

      It’s up in the air if we get Trump, but a lot of people around him are going to prison. Some will be family members too.

      • Good_Gawd_Yall

        I think we’ll “get” him the same way we “got” Nixon – he resigns, and the next guy immediately pardons him, and the dirty details trickle out for the next three decades, while the resignee goes from “worst and most hated president* ever” to “worst and most hated EX-president ever,” and everyone around him goes to prison.

        • BeachBum

          So its “deja vu all over again.” Jeeshe, can’t we catch a break ?!

    • Suttree

      I’m assuming/hoping that this is the least of their problems.

  • Oblios_Cap

    No more beautiful chocolate cake for Fredo.

    • Proud Liberal

      Nothing is going to come of this. Jeff Sessions won’t prosecute and Congress certainly isn’t going to do anything.

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸

    To be fair, when you lie as often as the Trumps do, it’s really hard to keep the narrative straight.

    • laineypc

      They never imagined it would get past the “no Russians, no Russians, you’re the Russian” stage

  • Vincent Ricola

    The Trump cabal spent 85% of 2016 mячи глубокие in Russia shenanigans. The other 15% was spent coming up with “clever” nicknames for Marco Rubio.

    Way to go with the best, GOP voters, you guys really know how to pick a leader.

    • msanthropesmr

      THEY SPENT 15% of their time coming up with Little Marco?

      • Vincent Ricola

        By conservative estimates, yes.

      • mancityRed6

        to be fair, lyin’ Ted didn’t take that long

    • Villago Delenda Est

      This was a stupid thing, because ¡Heb! was already working on the “clever” nicknames for Lil’ Marco.

    • Oblios_Cap

      These days they automatically scratch any candidate with an IQ over 50.

      • Komsumverweigerer Ron

        Wouldn’t reduce the pool by much.

  • folderol

    Here’s the thing: Is Bob Mueller hiring *enough* prosecutors? The targets of inquiry are expanding exponentially.

    • mancityRed6

      jobs!

      • marxalot

        Full employment for criminal lawyers!

  • Donald Trump Jr. Tried To Collude With Sexxxy Russian Lady, But He Couldn’t Get There

    You know what Donald Junior?

    “It’s not that common, it doesn’t happen to all men, and it is a big deal!” –Rachel from Friends

    • Robbertjan Brandenburg

      I KNEW IT! –Chandler from friends.

    • Christopher Story

      “We were on a BREAK!!!”

    • Three Finger Salute

      Even Joey knows Russian dictators are awful people. Well, he knows now anyway.

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cVXsbUq2iKY

  • Villago Delenda Est

    I’m guessing that Uday’s lawyers are going to claim he wasn’t mirandized before he started tweeting, or offering explanations to the NYT.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      “You have the right to remain silent.

      But not the good sense to.”

      • Doug Langley

        Columbo episode last night: “Did I read you your rights? Let me read you your rights. Let’s see, I’ve got the card right here . . . or maybe it’s here . . . did I forget it again . . .”

    • therblig

      “My son does not wear fruit on his head!” – DJT

  • Walter Wellstone

    Here’s my new favorite quote:

    “Why is there a Russian under every rock?”
    –Richard Clarke

    • Msgr_MΩment

      “The Russian Blue prefers kicking it underneath the rocks.
      Beautiful plumage.”

      • Villago Delenda Est

        The Russian Blue knocks things off the edge!

    • therblig

      because that’s where you have to go to meet the trumps

    • Someone tripped on the way to the dead drop?

  • Scooby

    Ironically, it seems Trumps connection to The Miss Universe pageant will be the start of his downfall.

    • Paperless Tiger

      Better cover than ‘greeting card salesman’?

      • Komsumverweigerer Ron

        Would you believe…?

    • Doug Langley

      “Donald! Zis iz Ruzzia! Ve do not ‘thhhhppppppp’ here!!”

  • Joe Sixpack

    If only Hillary was President we could be bombing Moscow and occupying Syria right now! True Progressives live for foreign wars and mayhem.

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot
    • Suttree

      That’s why Obama started those nasty wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, right? Jackass.

      • rosenbomb

        His ‘sixpack’ probably references Natty Lite, because let’s be real…there’s no way he has abs

    • msanthropesmr

      Can’t tell if sarcasm or not sarcasm.

      • rosenbomb

        I’ll go with Not Sarcasm judging by the comment history.

        • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

          Ditto. Anyone who thinks that Breitbart is a tool of the Hollywood elite to make the right look like inbred hillbillies isn’t dealing with a full deck.

          • msanthropesmr

            I never thought of it that way thought. What an interesting geopolitical hot take. Does this guy or gal write for SLate?

          • marxalot
    • jesterpunk
    • Les Appentis De la résistance

      Well said, comrade.

      • Oblios_Cap

        Da! Let’s proceed to the Dictatorship of the Proletariat phase, posthaste!

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      So what you’ve said is that there is one true progressive, somewhere, who lives for foreign wars and mayhem – at least, this is what your actual lack of the plural causes your sentence to read as – and I agree with you, there probably IS. The rest of us, though, would be happier not to have the threat of WW3 hanging over the entire globe, as it would interfere with our plans to open Abortionplexes across the planet at which we can serve our small-batch homebrew and artisanal cheese.

      • Joe Sixpack

        You should find some new leaders because virtually 100% of the Bush/Cheney PNAC [Project for a New American Century] Neocons endorsed Hillary Clinton. From Richard Perle to David Frum and the Kagan brothers. From Bill Kristol to Dick Cheney, all of the architects of the Iraq War are “With Her” and the new DNC leadership.

        So own it and enjoy it. Because all Democrats are Neocons now.

        • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

          or an alternative explanation could be that even those evil vile fuckers knew a Trump presidency would destroy us.

    • Komsumverweigerer Ron

      I’m… gonna assume that’s snark.

    • Please show me your work on that assertion.

      • Joe Sixpack

        I tried to post [my work] on that comment but Wonkette refused to publish it.
        My work shows that all of the PNAC Neocons, the architects of the Iraq war endorsed Hillary Clinton for President.

        • Nope. Still not proven.

          • Joe Sixpack

            No it’s a fact. The Neocons, Warmongers and Bankers love and support Hillary and the New Deep State DNC.

  • Mr. Blobfish

    Evil, corrupt and incompetent are not mutually exclusive.

    • msanthropesmr

      And it’s no way to go through life, son.

      • marxalot

        Depends on whose son you are, I guess.

      • amrak63

        Whoops, that’s what I get for not reading all the nested comments first.

    • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

      But you can see how inherited wealth can keep you afloat…

      • msanthropesmr

        WE ARE A MERITOCRACY – POOR PEOPLE DESERVE IT.

    • amrak63

      “Evil, corrupt, and incompetent is no way to go through life, son.”

  • Suttree

    Do these fuckers have any idea how to have a meeting to get everybody’s story straight? This is something that most people learn in junior high school.

    • msanthropesmr

      Where were you when Commie Martyr’s stole Morse Science High?

      • therblig

        probably giving the guard a sleeve job

      • Lance Thrustwell

        I always thought that was “More” or “Moore” Science High. But most transcripts (which i never looked up before) seem to agree with you. How does anyone know?

        EDIT: an’ who wonna seconda world war, you so smaht?!!

        • beatbort

          You had to be really stoned when listening to Firesign Theater to catch that distinction.

        • msanthropesmr

          I’d ask the remaining members. I assumed it was Morse as in Morse code.

  • BigCSouthside

    I’m tired of hearing Russia is a “nothingburger”. There’s a fucking Oort Cloud of Russian types orbiting this admin. So much so even outside observers have to be like “that’s a bit odd, right?”

    • ariel_gee_398

      At the very least, it’s a nyetburger.

    • msanthropesmr

      Oort Cloud. You wonkers make up some funny words.

      • proudgrampa

        It’s not a bad analogy.

      • Oblios_Cap

        I always thought it was the Ood clouds, where all the Oods hang out.

      • formerChild

        I’m hoping to show off my new Kuiper belt later. I have a jump suit that it will set off perfectly.

        • Bobathonic

          Jump suit? You need to get yourself a speed suit.

    • Lance Thrustwell

      A thought I had a long time ago (before the election) was that the DNC should have put out a pie chart of all the countries with ties to the Trump campaign. It would have been a dramatic visual.

      • BigCSouthside

        Wouldn’t have mattered. GOP votes lock step and the Susan Sarandon purist brigade still would have voted for their ridiculous protest candidates

    • Bigby

      Oort Cloud? They’re “orbiting” Trump more like the core of a neutron star.
      “So round, so firm, so fully packed”…

      • chicken thief

        Stop it! You’re making Mike Pence wet.

    • For me it’s “hystetical madness” (Glenn Greenwald’s favorite buzzword)

    • And don’t you hate how these “nothing burgers” always seem to be served with a slathering of Russian dressing?

  • La forza del resistino

    “I was not told her name prior to the meeting.”
    It would have been a hoot if Rosie O’Donnell knocked on the door.

    • beatbort

      “And even if I was told, it was one of those long Russian names that I wouldn’t be able to remember, or pronounce, 20 seconds later…so no problem, right, Mr. Mueller?” “Mr. Mueller?”

  • Mr. Blobfish

    Really? They couldn’t blame Obama somehow? Weak.

    • ariel_gee_398

      That’ll be next. “Concerned about the hack of the DNC and Obama’s inaction, we decided to take the meeting and bring the perpetrator to justice. Since her story didn’t make sense, we just asked her to send her docs to Wikileaks instead, and promised to lift some sanctions for her later.”

    • BigCSouthside

      This was a deep state op ordered by obama after they did wire tapps to Trump’s gold plated dick prosthetic in NY

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    I was not told her name prior to the meeting.

    What? Campaign people hold private meetings with unknown individuals all the time. Nothing to see here!

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/e32fb8d0d333d6bc9e8bd9fd717caa87e01bf6b7c5b3676d05e3ffd0e7f1a16b.jpg

    • BeachBum

      He couldn’t pronounce NatahleeyaVahsellneetskiya if his life depended on it.

      • Doug Langley

        And it just might.

  • MynameisBlarney
    • Doug Langley

      And then he walked it back, what, just an hour later?

    • amrak63

      And the Stupid White Folks of Real Murka voted for him.

      My peeps, it shames me to admit (though I voted for HRC).

      Ascended Madoka, answer me Great Lady! Where can I go to resign from my tribe?

  • Joe Beese

    President Donald Trump’s worst campaign surrogate is back in the limelight, and reminding some former Trump campaign colleagues why he earned the nickname “Fredo.”

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vYabrQrXt4A

  • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

    I see they’re going to try the Sideshow Bob defense

    Attempted murder? Now honestly, did they ever give anyone a Nobel prize for attempted chemistry?”

    • the_steamer

      They’re also claiming it was a dirty trick by the democratic campaign, you know, to make Trump look bad and lose the election. Which makes total sense that we never heard about it til nearly 9 months after the election.

    • QHarp, Mujer malévola

      “It says ‘The America, The.”’

      • Doug Langley

        Isn’t it amazing how some Russian words sound just like German!

  • Mr. Blobfish

    Don’t blame me. I voted for Jindal.

    • Paperless Tiger

      So you’re the one!

      • msanthropesmr

        Who is that?

        • Beanz&Berryz

          A former competitor of Macys

  • Marion in Savannah
    • Lurkylu

      i LOVE Charlie Pierce. He can distill a really big story down to manageable chunks. That said, i am chilled to the f’ing bone by what this means.

    • Komsumverweigerer Ron

      ‘Right now, there are more Russians involved in this story than there are in War and Peace.
      Riot!

  • Les Appentis De la résistance

    The Trumps were like junkies trying to score. If they didn’t collude its only because they were too stupid to not act like obvious narcs.

    • marxalot

      They do seriously seem to have the Mr Tulip problem.

      • Komsumverweigerer Ron

        Too ___ing right!

  • TheGrandWazoo2

    Fools Russian where wise men fear to tread.

    • pstockholm

      Nothing from Pop on this – quiet flows the Don.

    • Doug Langley

      And wise men are Stalin for time.

  • “ambulatory anal wart Donald Trump Jr.”–congratulations Evan, you win the internet today yet again!

  • Mr. Blobfish

    So, if only 4 out of 17 intelligence agencies are investigating you……win?

    • msanthropesmr

      The other 13 said no comment.

    • Les Appentis De la résistance

      If three of them are the CIA, the FBI, and the NSA who cares who the rest of them are.

      • Beanz&Berryz

        Or that they got no jurisdictional dawg in that fight …

      • Mr. Blobfish

        At this point, I’m surprised the Postal Police aren’t investing him.

    • Persistent Tennessee Rain

      Did anyone even know we have 17 intelligence agencies?

  • Joe Beese

    I have to fess up. I’m the “acquaintance” who suggested Junior meet with the Russian mob lawyer lady.

    It was just a prank, really. I ran into Junior in the men’s room of a strip club and I thought, “When I am ever going to have a chance like this again?”

    So I said I recognized him and was a big supporter of his father’s. (Try keeping a straight face during that!) Then I added a conspiratorial husk to my voice and said how the Russian mob lawyer lady (you’ll understand if I don’t explain how I knew her) might be helpful (NUDGE NUDGE WINK WINK) in Making America Great Again.

    I didn’t expect any more than maybe wasting some of his time. How could I know he’d drag Kushner and Manafort into it?

    Anyway, I didn’t mean to encourage treason or anything.

    My bad.

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      You go sit in the corner and think about what you did, young man.

      • AJ Milne

        That’s a little severe. He’s a member of the administration. I’m sure he meant well. Everyone else does it too Hillary’s emails.

        Oh. Wait. I mean I’ve never met the man anyway I think he’s just the janitor or something Joe who?

    • NastyBossetti

      That reminds me of a prank I saw recently from these dudes who are in a band together, where things took a similarly unpredictable turn. Guy 1 convinced Guy 2 that Slim Jim wanted to sponsor the band, and they each had to make a video proving how big fans of Slim Jim they were. How could Guy 1 know that Guy 2 would decide to get a Slim Jim tattoo?

  • BigCSouthside

    This is what happens when you do crime all your life and think you are good at it because you’ve never gone to jail, but are too stupid to realize that you’ve never been to jail because you started with 250 million get out of jail free cards.

  • Angela Ruzzo

    I came across this article about Benedict Arnold this morning, and there are some interesting parallels to our current political crisis. His story is not exactly the the same, but the main themes are – MONEY and EGO.

    Why Benedict Arnold Turned Traitor Against the American Revolution
    http://www.smithsonianmag.com/history/benedict-arnold-turned-traitor-american-revolution-180958786/

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      Yup, though the Continental Congress made it really easy by subjecting Arnold to promotion by political whim (at one point, he was denied promotion because too many men from Connecticut had already been promoted)

  • AJ Milne

    … just a reminder for anyone might have forgotten/for emphasis:

    Magnitsky died horrifically, in prison, following a bullshit charge because he was tracking down Russian government corruption.

    Any time some mouthbreathing sleaze on Faux or elsewhere says ‘oh, so X may have colluded with the Russians, big deal’, _this_ is what they’re colluding with. _This_ is the kind of practice you’re inviting into your own government. _This_ is what it’s about. _This_ is why sanctions are there. _These_ are the kind of people Donnie and Co. are defending palling around with.

    Oh, and also, when they say ‘hey, we’ve done worse’… … erm… what? Sure, let’s bring up Abu Ghraib like that makes sense.

    Head check: that’s like saying because we’ve _previously_ been tangled up in horrific stuff, we should keep right at it/go further/move the mob right into the government even at home, as opposed to getting it _horribly_ wrong overseas in an unwise war. What the hell even is that? Not even tu quoque so much as ‘we’re already doing war crimes, what else can we condone?’ Seems to me your parole officer would more be saying, yeah, very unwise to be hanging around with these guys, what with your record.

    ( … oh, also and as usual, Donnie’s lying, of course: http://www.factcheck.org/2017/07/trump-misleads-russia-hacking/ )

  • Paperless Tiger

    This smells like another clumsy attempt at a limited hangout. Time to put these creeps under oath.

    • Komsumverweigerer Ron

      Under something, anyway.

  • the_steamer

    I like how the campaign was so well run they had this shitshow meeting and just looked at each other and said “let’s all just forget this ever happened” because that never hurt anyone ever.

  • OrG

    “Her statements were vague, ambiguous and made no sense”
    Pot meet kettle.

    • Three Finger Salute

      “I say, I say, I betta find this black Kettle boy if he’s a-gonna be hookin’ up with some pot!”

      No, Covfefferson Beauregard, call off Custer’s army… it’s just an expression…

    • Bobathonic

      How is she not working for Trump, then?

      • OrG

        How do you know she’s not.

  • Terpsichord

    “I was asked to have a meeting by an acquaintance I knew from the 2013 Miss Universe pageant with an individual who I was told might have information helpful to the campaign. I was not told her name prior to the meeting.”

    Tell me folks, do you typically take meetings with someone whose name you DO NOT KNOW? How did she even get through security? When Trump lips flap, lies emerge.

    • NastyBossetti

      I don’t even take meetings with people I DO know.

      • BeachBum

        Oh wise, you are, NB !

    • akryan

      Also too, how did he know it was an acquaintance from the 2013 MU but he didn’t know who it was? “We want you to meet with lady about a thing,”. “Who is it and what do they want to talk about?”. “Oh, you’ll see. Here’s a hint: you know her from 2013 MU”. Find out on the next episode! That’s seriously how they are setting this up.

  • NastyBossetti

    So their story was that they all took a meeting with an unknown person on an unknown topic because… why?

  • Les Appentis De la résistance

    Don’t these people read spy novels? Can’t you move your ass out of Trump Tower and find a bench in a park? What about a dead drop to get a sample of the explosive evidence? Amateurs.

  • Paul Dietzel

    Is “horny collusion” anything like “Fleshy Union” that Latka and Simka used to talk about in the old days?

    • Three Finger Salute

      Eee bee dah!

      • Notreelyhelping

        Thank you very much.

        • OutOfOrbit

          YOU again!

  • chicken thief

    Seems Carter Page might have some competition in the race for the title of “Useful Idiot for Russia”.

    • BreakingDeadMen

      The best part is that Donald Sr. doesn’t seem to have fully settled into the “useful” part, unless you define the word down to simply not being Hillary.

  • Good_Gawd_Yall

    Is anyone buying the “nothing she said made sense, so we moved on to adoptions” story? Because what I’m quite sure ACTUALLY happened was that the sexxxxy mobbed-up Russian lady was there to give the Drumpf team instructions and untraceable satellite phones. That’s the only reason Manafort would be there. As for Jared, I can’t think why he’s included in EVERY.SINGLE.THING. this crime family does, unless they recognized his talent for doing evil while blending into the wallpaper.

  • Three Finger Salute

    I can tell you right now, there’s a sexy lady who Donnie Sr. WON’T be colluding with.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/d4c4903fb5e75c4d47372a35bec174ff8aff023ffef36be0689dea58e61b027a.jpg

    • susan_g

      Trudeau married her the old fashioned way–met, fell in love, proposed. Compare that to Cheeto–he saw her, bought her, done.

  • akryan

    Just to play devil’s advocate for a second, how is this any different than hiring an oppo research firm? The dossier guy was British. Trump Jr met with a lady that offered oppo on Clinton. She didn’t directly represent herself as acting for the Russian government; those guys are too good at doing this stuff to ever be that ham handed. It looks bad that they lied about it, but is it necessarily illegal or even unusual in a campaign?

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      Yes.

    • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

      Britian is an ally. Russia is an enemy.

      • BreakingDeadMen

        An ally, and he approached intelligence agencies, not political operatives.

      • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

        Oh, and everybody knows that broad is an agent of the Kremlin and NOBODY believes these guys took the meeting without knowing who they were meeting with.

    • chicken thief

      Let’s ask Sessions, Manafort, Flynn, Don Jr, Carter Page, Jared, and Pence if they think it is unusual since they all lied about it.

    • Celtic_Gnome

      This wasn’t oppo research. This was stolen information. Receiving stolen property used to be a crime in this country.

  • 3FingerPete

    Meanwhile, the NYT notes that her only connection to Fusion GPS is that she uses a private investigator from that firm.

    Mon Dieu! Le smoking gun!

    • Mike Steele

      The inimitable Bo Dietl?

  • Tio_Doidinho

    Let’s discuss the real reason these people should be locked up for life – collusion with shitty, shitty Russian pop stars.

    https://thinkprogress.org/music-video-trump-russia-kremlin-9bd0bdddf075

    • Bobathonic

      They might as well be hanging with Christian rock groups.

      • Jennaratrix

        STRYPER LIBELZ!

        • JustDon’tSaySortMyBalls

          Is it possible to libel Stryper?

    • Ahem. I adore eurotrash. ABBA is my second favorite band. Eurovision is my favorite time of year – even more than GoT season.

      Do not be all smug about your superior musical tastes. Some of us live for this shit.

      • Tio_Doidinho

        Yes, some people live for this shit.

        Some people also enjoy eating Marmite, which is smegma in a jar.

        There’s kitsch, and there’s musical forms of Marmite.

        • SisterArtemis

          My attitude is, Hey, if it makes your butt wiggle or your heart soar a little, you go gurl.

  • Jennaratrix

    Is anyone else just out and out insulted that these idiots can’t even treason right? Like, did they really think none of this would come out? That if it did, no one would see it for what it is? That we’re all too fucking stupid to put together the pieces of the most obvious, easiest puzzle ever? I’ll be the first one to shake my head at the stupidity of SOME Americans (*ahem* Trump supporters, I’m talking to you), but ALL OF US? I’m not just embarrassed; I’m fucking insulted that this family of grifting idiots (gridiots?) really thought we were all fucking stupider than they are.

    • BreakingDeadMen

      John Oliver’s “Stupid Watergate” is more prescient than ever.

    • Jennaratrix

      And also too, when are they going to learn to JUST. STOP. TALKING!

      • SisterArtemis

        Hopefully never, at this point.

    • susan_g

      They really didn’t think any of this would come out because they weren’t thinking that they could win the election. What they were doing was an attempt to leverage their newly crowned candidacy into some kind of deal–just fishing for money.

    • Doug Langley

      As Columbo once gloated over a murderer: “You left enough clues to sink a ship.”

    • LeighBowery’sLuxuryComedy

      It’s like the SubGenius always say – You know how stupid the average guy is? Well by definition, half of them are even dumber than THAT. And I think we can all hazard a guess which half this particular baby ruth in the gene pool belongs to.

  • BreakingDeadMen

    I just love this story. We didn’t collude with Russia. We totally wanted to, but they played us. So, no collusion.

    Just criminal intent, Asshole, Jr.

  • La forza del resistino

    Junior is like the guy who is approached by someone in a trench coat loaded with Rolex watches for sale, says I’m interested in a deal and takes a look, but doesn’t buy

  • goonemeritus

    I was lead to believe The New York Times was failing, how is it they could be causing so much trouble for the “smartest family in America”?

    • Bebecca

      Don’t get into a fight with anyone that buys ink by the barrel.

  • Ilgattomorte

    Listen guys, I was about to make an unbelievably insightful comment, but I’ve got to run. I’ve got a meeting over at Trump Tower.

    I called over there and told them I was some guy, who wanted to discuss some thing, with somebody really important, without any particular information and they hooked me right up. So I’ve got to leave right now.

    Wow. I hope they’re they serve that amazing chocolate cake.

    • Bobathonic

      Don’t count on any more than one scoop of ice cream.

    • BeachBum

      Take an empty briefcase and see what happens.

    • Doug Langley

      Why, that makes perfect sense. I’m sure the judge will buy that.

    • Mike Steele

      If anyone asks where you’ve been, here is (R) list of acceptable responses, in order of delivery: 1-Where? 2-I wasn’t there 3-Oh, THERE… 4-Maybe I was; don’t recall 5-Oh, THEN… 6-Might have been there, but don’t remember what we talked about 7-Oh, THAT… 8-We were probably joking; anyway, there’s no record of the conversation 9-Oh, THOSE…we know what you did last summer, Ryan et. al.

  • Skaarphy

    “We don’t know if special counsel Robert Mueller was investigating Junior before this, but we bet he is now.”

    I think (hope) that Mueller is already multiple steps ahead of this.

  • BeachBum

    The cover story was the adoptions but of course no one believes it. He was doing Light Treason. That’s like real treason but with less calories.

    • Bobathonic

      Ugh, that watered down treason makes you pee so much.

      • SisterArtemis

        And such odd colors…

    • CTOH

      I think you mean Treason Lite.

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      That’s like real treason but with less calories jail time.

    • Bebecca

      Like any Trump would care about other human beings that aren’t similarly situated, wealth-wise, to them.

  • Persistent Tennessee Rain

    The most recent statement issued by June-Yoor was most definitely authored by an attorney. I’d bet my next candy bar on it.

  • cheetojeebus

    This whole episode reads like a LeCarre novel if it were written by Simple Jack

    • Thiazin Red

      Treason makes my eyes rain.

      • SisterArtemis

        bumpersticker! lapel pin!

  • Thiazin Red

    So how many meetings is this now that Jared “forgot” about?

  • Jackie Jones

    I am curious what Wonkateers guess will be the new Con response to all this. Other than blame Hillary and Obama. Will it be that Fredo talked to Natasha and Boris as a Private Citizen and nothing is illegal about gossip? Or the bus routine where Schultze knew nothing. Nothing! I think I mixed in three different references there but you catch my drift. I’ll check back.

    • Bobathonic

      AOT, K.

    • SisterArtemis

      It seems to me the response will be formulaic.
      1) deny anything happened
      2) when it is proved something happened, deny that it had any connection to the election
      3) when that fizzles, suggest that the events related to the election are innocent, normal business
      4) when that too is disproven, suggest that the other side does it too!!! (it is permissible to flip #3 and #4)
      5) silence
      6) lawyers

    • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

      I only quibble that DJT Jr. isn’t even Fredo. He’s Carlo, Talia Shire’s miserable weak husband who connived with Barzini to cause Sonny’s death and then cowers in front of Michael, before getting into the car with Clemenza in the back seat.

      • Jackie Jones

        excellent!

    • WotsAllThisThen

      I’m hearing crickets from the GOP Congressional committees charged with oversight. Anyone? Anyone? Mueller?

  • Me not sure

    Stories are floating now that Veselnitskaya was being looked at by Preet Bharara’s office in his pursuit of Russian money laundering cases. Trump Jr. meets with her, and later Bharara, who was told by Trump that he would stay on, is fired.

  • Weird Fishes

    They’re covering their asses as fast as they can, and it’s starting to seem like they’ll soon be running out of hands very soon.

    • Right, especially since their tiny hands cover so little. And Trump’s ass is so large.

    • chicken thief

      In reality, they have little to worry about. Especially Dipshit Don Jr and All Purpose Jared – they know a guy with the power to pardon.

  • Aileen

    I would very much like to skip to the end (everyone goes to jail forever) of this narrative too, but I don’t see how this is evidence of collusion. Russian lawyer promised dirt on Hillary Clinton to Trump campaign insiders. How is that collusion? It isn’t like the Russian lawyer explained how they got the dirt by hacking Clinton’s email or via some other illegal means. I’m sure the Clinton campaign would have met with someone who promised dirt on Trump, too (although hopefully they would have vetted that source more carefully than Jr. did). What is obvious, however, is that Donald Jr has joined the list of those closest to Trump who flat out lied about meeting with Russians during the campaign.

    • I was thinking something similar. If I was a campaign official and someone approached me with info damaging to the other candidate I would listen. But I would have some sort of an investigator there to question the information and take notes so that we would have a record of the meeting. If you don’t think you can do anything with the information, send them to a reporter just in case. If you think the info is real, then get your investigator on it ASAP and let people know about it. But you don’t hide the meeting. As soon as you start lying and hiding things, it becomes a real problem.
      Also, does anyone believe that the campaign who tried to paint Bill Clinton as a rapist and Hillary Clinton as his enabler/accomplice would have not tried his best to use any possible smear about the Russians when word of their collusion started making the rounds. None of their explanations or justifications fits with their public behavior.

    • waspuppet

      As David Frum of all people pointed out yesterday, when someone came to Al Gore’s campaign with a video of GWB’s debate prep, they went to the FBI. And that wasn’t necessarily from an unfriendly foreign power.

      That’s how we used to do things back when we were America.

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      Well, then, you report it on your disclosure forms, and say “yeah she had oppo research, what’s the big?” And you don’t then change your fucking story.

    • Gorillionaire

      My question for you is how is this NOT collusion?

      • Aileen

        It’s my understanding that the Trump team would have had to colluded with Russia *on something illegal* for it to matter. So, “Russia: hey Trump campaign we hacked the DNC’s email, when would you like us to release these emails so as to inflict maximum damage on Clinton?” = collusion. “Russia: hey we really hate Hillary Clinton but have found Trump to be a most pliable stooge so here’s some opposition research we’ve done on Clinton” = not collusion. Sure, it looks bad that the Trump campaign was in a way friendly with a hostile foreign power, but isn’t necessarily a crime? To be clear, I’m talking about this one specific instance, not the larger picture. I’m nearly certain the Trump campaign did collude with Russia, but I don’t see this as hard evidence of that, just that Jr. lied his ass off.

    • Juan de Fuca

      I’m pretty sure the Clinton campaign wouldn’t have met with anyone having close ties to the Kremlin in order to get dirt on Donald Trump.

      It’s collusion in that at least three members of Trump’s inner circle DID meet with a Russian with close ties to the Kremlin in order to get dirt on Hillary Clinton. Besides all of that though, I agree with your sentiment about the lies. Why has his story changed two (three?) times over the weekend about the meeting? Why is he lying about it and what else is he hiding?

      Get him under oath.

    • whatchagot

      Try this very helpful analysis of just why this is evidence of collusion: https://www.justsecurity.org/42956/open-door-moscow-facts-potential-criminal-case-trump-campaign-coordination-russia/

      If you’re having trouble after reading this, well ….

      • Aileen

        This is a helpful analysis, thank you. It is bringing up something that I haven’t read before, that any “substantial assistance” from Russia that was either solicited by the Trump campaign or accepted without reporting it is a violation of campaign finance law. Previously, I thought that the collusion would have to be on something illegal (such as DNC email hacking) for it to matter, but according to this article, they just would have had to accept or solicit substantial assistance.

        • whatchagot

          I bet Special Counsel has opinions about the campaign colluding on/soliciting the DNC hack too, but that evidence is coming from the more obscure stories involving high-level Trump Campaign officials (see, e.g., Roger Stone: “During the 2016 campaign, Stone seemed to possess uncanny knowledge of what WikiLeaks had in store for Hillary Clinton. On October 1, he tweeted, “Wednesday @HillaryClinton is done. #Wikileaks.” Less than a week later, WikiLeaks began publishing the emails of Clinton campaign chair John Podesta. Stone claimed he was in touch with WikiLeaks’ founder, Julian Assange, and that he exchanged direct messages with Guccifer 2.0—the handle for the alleged Russian hacker(s) who posted the stolen DNC emails.” http://www.motherjones.com/politics/2017/06/russia-trump-putin-scandal-key-players-dossiers/ ).

    • WinningerR

      Taking a meeting in the hopes of receiving damaging information from someone closely connected to a hostile foreign power is obviously extremely inappropriate, particularly when that hostile foreign power’s attempts to subvert the election are already part of the national discourse. Trump Jr is trying to make it sound like he didn’t really understand who this woman represented (although note that he doesn’t actually say that), but there is simply no way that could be true. Manafort, Kushner, and Trump Jr were probably the three most senior Trump Campaign officials outside the President himself. You don’t get all of them to attend a meeting with someone “unvetted” with only vague ideas of what she might talk about.

  • fawkedifiknow

    Natalia Veselnitskaya sounds like a good Irish name – how would a guy like Donnie Trump Jr ever suspect she came from Russia?

    • Mike Steele

      We’d have pegged her as the female half of an Olympic figure skating pair. If Rachel ever needs help pronouncing all these names, she can always call on Scott Hamilton:)

  • AJSnyder

    Well, I guarangoddamntee that Mueller could tell you who Trump’s secretary’s grandaughter’s babysitter is, so yeah, he’s looking into Junior too.

    • Jerry Noneofyourbizz

      Oh bullshit! As if Trump would have a grandmother for a secretary!

  • Lyly Sirivong

    The Trumps are obviously genetically incapable of keeping a story straight.

  • House0fTheBlueLights

    My kids grew up with a lot of kids like this (scholarship to fancy private school)–rich parents, closely held private family business and they are ALL like this, to this day. They have no moral center and absolutely no understanding of their entitlement. And when they get caught pulling shit, they are just flummoxed that anyone is even paying attention to their little criminal undertakings, like what’s the big deal anyway.

  • Ginnie Sack

    What is up with the Trump family’s lips?

    • starfanglednut

      And chins also too. They’re ugly, inside and out.

    • Pax Americana Per Ars Smith

      Their misshapen from all the posterior kissing of Russians?

  • CaliCheeseSucks

    This shit is unreal.

  • covfefesumgame0005

    scene within Robert Mueller’s office;

    Robert Mueller: Oh, shit gotta hire another lawyer!

  • Celtic_Gnome

    Remember the old joke: How do you get to Carnegie Hall? Practice!

    For as much as everyone involved with the Trump administration lies, you’d think they’d eventually get better at it.

  • jaspersdad
    • Rachel Book Harlot

      Cornholio!

    • WotsAllThisThen

      She says all the attacks on her are sexist but this one seems fairly gender neutral.

  • ken_kukec

    The Trumps love the truth, which is why they parse it out so warily, the way a miser does his gold.

  • Gorillionaire

    The fact that no one in the GOP House has done so much as raise an eyebrow at this just goes go to show how complicit so many of those rat fuckers are.

    • SisterArtemis

      My hunch is it’s been kickback city with a lot of those guys

    • chicken thief

      Paul Ryan’s “Repeal the ACA and Ravish Medicaid” boner sucked all the blood from his head. He can’t concentrate on anything other than that the Senate is so close, oh yes!, so close almost there, daddy! to fulfilling his college dreams!!1!!!

  • bumfug
  • Jamoche

    https://twitter.com/sarahkendzior/status/884460528218800128
    https://twitter.com/sarahkendzior/status/814296908931928064

    But if you ask him today, he’ll swear there have always been five lights.

    (Nobody has clips from the old A Wrinkle In Time movie? Well, imagine the scene with the balls here. And if that isn’t filmed in Celebration for the next movie, Disney is passing up a hell of an opportunity.)

  • WotsAllThisThen

    POTUS von Clownstick already told everyone he would absolutely testify under oath. Now would be a good time.

    • Weird Fishes

      Yes but would you believe anything that came out of his mouth after he spoke his name? Because I would be hard-pressed to.

  • IHaveThoughts

    My impression of Robert Mueller:
    *head in hands* “It’s like they don’t understand that I can see them.”

    • BJW

      Exactly. And they don’t seem to get that attempts at collusion or cover-up ARE. ALSO. ILLEGAL.

  • TundraGrifter

    The Case of the Russian Doll.

  • TundraGrifter

    Mr. Mueller is sitting in his office thinking “It really can’t be this easy. Can it? Really?”

    • CTOH

      If it were that easy, we’d be having a new election right now!

      • TundraGrifter

        We don’t have a parliamentary system.

  • tehbaddr

    What’s going on with his “teeth”? With all that money you’d figure the Trump clan would have popper dental work. Case in point:

    https://img.wonkette.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/07/Eric-Trump-Flickr-1.jpg

    Eric boy come over here! We got these teeth like things and want you to give them a try. Oh, come on it probably won’t hurt! We’re just gonna shove them up in that gelatinous ridge inside your talking hole. The upside is that with your, ummmm, unusual physiology they just might take!

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