SHARE

We are starting to worry about this plague of amnesia in Trumpland! It seems especially acute regarding all things Russian. We consulted Dr. Google, and he suggested the President’s team start taking these Russian memory supplements to prepare for their meetings with Robert Mueller.

It’s a special formulation “developed in 1982 by a research team from the Institute of Molecular Genetics at the Russian Academy of Sciences in Moscow,” which sounds about as legit as Jared Kushner’s selective memory loss. So, drink up, Boychik!

Yesterday, the New York Times reported another Russian meeting that silly Jared forgot to mention on his security clearance disclosure forms. Ooopsie! It seems in June 2016, Donald Trump Jr. sat down for a casual chat at Trump Tower with a lawyer for the Kremlin and “asked Jared and Paul [Manafort] to stop by.” Just the presidential candidate’s son, son-in-law, campaign manager, and a Russian fixer. As one does in the middle of a presidential campaign.

The meeting was with Natalia Veselnitskaya, a lawyer with longstanding ties to the Kremlin and Russian oligarchs.

Donny Jr. has always maintained that there were no connections between the Trump campaign and Russian operatives.

Donald Trump Jr. had denied participating in any campaign-related meetings with Russian nationals when he was interviewed by The Times in March. “Did I meet with people that were Russian? I’m sure, I’m sure I did,” he said. “But none that were set up. None that I can think of at the moment. And certainly none that I was representing the campaign in any way, shape or form.”

Asked at that time whether he had ever discussed government policies related to Russia, the younger Mr. Trump replied, “A hundred percent no.”

Yesterday the New York Times contacted Jr, at which point he remembered that he had met with Veselnitskaya. But he did it for the children!

“We primarily discussed a program about the adoption of Russian children that was active and popular with American families years ago and was since ended by the Russian government, but it was not a campaign issue at the time and there was no follow up.”

UH HUH. Actually, DJ, we believe you on this one. Well, kind of.

In 2012, the Obama administration enacted a program of human rights sanctions against Russia known as the Magnitsky Act. In retaliation, Vladimir Putin barred Americans from adopting children from Russia.

Under the law, some 44 Russian citizens have been put on a list that allows the United States to seize their American assets and deny them visas. The United States asserts that many of them are connected to fraud exposed by Mr. Magnitsky, who after being jailed for more than a year was found dead in his cell. A Russian human rights panel found that he had been assaulted. To critics of Mr. Putin, Mr. Magnitsky, in death, became a symbol of corruption and brutality in the Russian state.

An infuriated Mr. Putin has called the law an “outrageous act,” and, in addition to banning American adoptions, compiled what became known as an “anti-Magnitsky” blacklist of United States citizens.

Ms. Veselnitskaya has spearheaded efforts to get the Magnitsky Act repealed. So it may well be that DJ, Kush and Paulie Walnuts were chatting her up about Russian adoption policy. But we are pretty sure that the conversation went something like, “Repeal those sanctions and you can have all the pretty, white babies you want.” Like we said, we kind of believe you, Junior!

Caught in yet another lie, the Trump spin machine whirred into action with its trademark professionalism. THE BITCH SET ME UP, they shouted. Although which bitch they weren’t entirely clear.

Is Velnitskaya the bitch? Did she trick poor Donald Trump Jr. into meeting with her?

“I was asked to attend the meeting by an acquaintance, but was not told the name of the person I would be meeting with beforehand.”

Damn you, dastardly “acquaintance”! Fooling three grownass professional men into hosting a meeting in their own office. To talk about an unknown topic. Unrelated to the campaign. With a person whose name they didn’t even know.

Unnamed Acquaintances

Or, wait! Is the bitch Hillary Clinton? OMG, it’s totally Hillary Clinton!

Mark Corallo, spokesman for Trump’s most excellent lawyer Marc Kasowitz, confirmed to NBC that Team Trump’s plan is to lay this one the Clinton campaign.

“We have learned that the person who sought the meeting is associated with Fusion GPS, a firm which, according to public reports, was retained by Democratic operatives to develop opposition research on the President and which commissioned the phony Steele dossier. These developments raise serious issues as to exactly who authorized and participated in any effort by Russian nationals to influence our election in any manner.

WAIT, WHAT? Is he trying to suggest that Hillary Clinton was the one colluding with the Russians to hack our elections? They got balls! You gotta give ’em that!

Regular Wonketteers will remember that Christopher Steele was originally hired by Republican operatives to do research into all Poppy Trump’s shady shit, and Democratic backers only took over the project after Republicans said they didn’t want to hear any more about Trump’s ALLEGED collusion and ALLEGED pee hookers because EWWWWWWWW. Remember this fine Wonkette story from January about how Christopher Steele continued screaming about Donald Trump being totally kompromatted, only the FBI was too busy with BUT HER EMAILS?

You see, when Steele was brought to work for the firm Fusion GPS — which had been hired to do oppo research for Trump’s Republican primary challengers, and was subsequently hired by Democrats — he started also giving intelligence to the FBI and MI6, where he used to work, because he viewed what he was learning as a “national security threat for both countries,” as The Independent reports.

But the FBI kept cock-blocking him, because it was too busy rage-shitting all over Hillary Clinton.

So, now Trumpworld would like you to please ignore their lies about meeting with Kremlin operatives to sell out human rights activists. Because they were only doing it for the children. And they were set up. And somethingsomething associated with Democrats ipso facto HILLARY CLINTON. Okay? We’re all good here?

[NYTimes / Hallie Jackson Twitter / The Independent]

This Russia shit does not stop for the weekend! And neither does Wonkette! You tip us now, Comrade!

$
Donate with CCDonate with CC
  • Randy Riddle

    Worst. “Get Smart” episode. Ever.

    • Khavrinen

      They didn’t even get to use the “Cone of Silence”.

  • SeekingCovfefeBarbie

    “I was asked to attend the meeting by an acquaintance, but was not told the name of the person I would be meeting beforehand.” Just who was that acquaintance? And why would a (allegedly) busy executive agree to meet with an unknown person? And is it me, or is that a convoluted set of statements designed, in trumpian fashion, to shift responsibility?

    I haz a confuse.

    • jesterpunk

      He is taking “personal responsibility” for the meeting and blaming Hillary Clinton and Obama.

    • Reince Pubis

      If this was a dem conspiracy, they should have just had him meet with NAMBLA or something. That acquaintance is reportedly very persuasive.

      • Khavrinen

        Nah, even NAMBLA doesn’t want to tarnish their image by meeting with Trumps.

  • Reince Pubis

    Donald J. Trump will make adopting Russian children YUGE. Russians will take over America through “adoption jihad,” one of the 7 jihads in the Eastern Orthodox Church. There are Orthodox neighborhoods filled with Russian adoptees in Lansing, Michigan that are “no-go zones” the police won’t step foot in, believe me.

    • schmannity

      Neo Borscht Belts

      • Reince Pubis

        You laugh, until you’re hauled before a Russian Sharia court for disrespecting an icon or something.

        • schmannity

          Is Russian Sharia enforced by the Metropolitan’s Police?

          • Reince Pubis

            Sort of a gray area since Putin cracked down on religion in public.

        • tomamitai

          On the bright side, there’s a two drink minimum at Russian Sharia court, and one drink = one half liter.

          • Reince Pubis

            In Russia Sharia Court, Bible places hand on YOU.”

        • mancityRed6

          how about if I say that vodka isn’t really that good?

          • PubOption

            The choices used to be vodka or reality.

          • mancityRed6

            “used to be?”

          • puredog

            I’ll take yours, glad to help.

  • Nounverb911

    At least they didn’t blame Obama for this.

  • Msgr_MΩment

    Yeah, but where are the pee-soaked tax returns?! Huh?

  • SayItWithOtters

    Worst viral marketing campaign for Salt 2: Angelina Jolie is Even Skinnier Now possible.

  • jesterpunk
  • UncleTravelingMatt

    I don’t get offended easily, but the fact that Evan thinks it’s okay for the Trump Campaign to meat with Russians is the most offensive thing to offend me in the past 15 minutes.

    • natoslug

      As long as the meat came from a vegan butthole, I think we’re all good.

      • Msgr_MΩment

        It can’t be beat.

        • Maggielle

          That’s really inverted.

  • Scooby

    So, thier defense is that the Trumps are easily tricked.

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      Easily tricked, and evidently allergic to keeping notes of “business meetings.”

    • jesterpunk

      Yep, they are stupid and easily tricked.

      • Ill-Advised

        “No dummy! No dummy! YOU’RE THE DUMMY!”

    • Reince Pubis

      Their defense is that there was an elaborate conspiracy to frame the Trump campaign for colluding with Russia, just in case they won.

      • Scooby

        I had a more elaborate plan to win big at the track.

        • Reince Pubis

          George Costanzo had a more elaborate plan when he created Vandelay Industries.

          • Scooby

            I just bet on whatever horse just took a dump.

    • gallbladder

      What else would one expect from a cabal who can’t even find light switches at the WH?

    • RobKanC

      Its more like, they are too stupid.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      To be fair, Putin and his lot are some very tricksy hobbitses.

      • armed_bears

        Hobbits libulz.

    • PigsDoFly

      Pull my finger.

  • natoslug

    If this whole family, and everyone in Trump’s cabinet, doesn’t end up in prison by 2020, I think we can safely say America is not a democracy. Or a republic. Or anything other than Pootie-poot’s ball gargler.

  • schmannity

    So, Clinton meets Lynch and they conspire to obstruct justice. Baby Thinskin, Jared, and Trump’s campaign manager and former Russian agent sit down with Russia lawyer and the first question is “Won’t someone think about the Russian children?”

    • RobKanC

      Also since when do we care about Russian children. Aren’t we already preventing red blooded american children from getting adopted by them deviant homosexuals.

      • DrBigHead

        Don’t limit yourself to adoption situations. Once the fetus is out of the room, no child seems to be worth a damn to the Repubs. Now I know that a generalization like that may be seen as grossly unfair, but Goddamnit, Add to dictionary, the behavior of the Repubs in congress sure as hell can’t be used to argue otherwise.

        • RobKanC

          is it gross generalization if its always true?

  • armed_bears

    This only matters if Republicans care. Lindsey Graham on MTP today, somewhat. Others? Not so sure… and can any of them suggest a benefit to the US from Putin’s complete pantsing of the POTUS? Did we get any single friggin’ thing, in exchange for alienating allies of 70 years?

  • RobKanC

    So Hillary had Putin hack the elections so she will lose. Glad she was not elected then. oh wait!!!! I am so confused right now.

  • UncleTravelingMatt

    “I was asked to attend the meeting by an acquaintance, but was not told the name of the person I would be meeting with beforehand.”

    “So I said, ‘fuck it, I’m a big boy businessman, why would I ever need to prepare for a meeting, or know the identity of the person I’m meeting with? I regularly meet with people who wish to remain anonymous until the meeting. Can I have Top Secret clearance, now?”

    • PubOption

      If Donnie Jr. regularly did business with Mob bosses, he would be used to meetings where no names were mentioned.

  • UnsaltedSinner

    At least Donald’s job performance review went well.
    https://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/884016887692234753
    … by russian intelligence experts, who will keep them safe.
    https://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/884018776391503872
    Donald had so many questions. Thankfully, Vladimir had a surprisingly extensive knowledge about the content of the DNC’s servers.

    • Nounverb911
    • RobKanC

      This sounds exactly like my deal with the Nigerian Prince. He and I are forming a committee to safeguard the 5 million dollars.

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      We wouldn’t want Russian election hacking and other negative things left unguarded.

    • SeekingCovfefeBarbie

      I’d like to know why the DNC didn’t allow the FBI investigate its server, but how is that any of Putin’s business.

      • Resistance Fighter Astraea

        Wasn’t that the request the DNC says the FBI made through a low-level IT support number?

        • SeekingCovfefeBarbie

          I spent several minutes on Google and didn’t learn much except that FBI claims to have made several requests and finally accepted results from a private security firm DNC hired to review its server. Maybe someone else knows more about it.

          • Resistance Fighter Astraea

            Yeah, I can’t find anything about what I was thinking either. I might have just part of the story that came out, or I got the wrong impression from something I read along the way.

      • Kooolest G

        gee I can’t imagine why the DNC would have been skeptical of giving all their emails to the FBI NY office, I’m sure they would have only shown the emails to rudy giuliani and that’s it

        • SeekingCovfefeBarbie

          That’s a good reason. I’d forgotten about that connection. I do wish the DNC hadn’t been so silent on the matter, though.

          • He literally can’t speak with exadurlying.

          • teele

            It doesn’t take much to appear silent, when the news media only covers the circus and pretends you don’t actually exist.

    • Mr. Blobfish

      I love trump’s use of “many”. Trump bored Putin to tears with stories about Miss Universe and his tremendous win.

      • Trump literally can’t speak with exagger-lying.

        • Ill-Advised

          Hyperboling?

          Hyperbole and a half doesn’t begin to cover this thing. Allie Brost needs to up her game.

    • Trump wants US Taxpayers to pay for a GOP-KGB cyber effort to steal the next election.

      Got it. ✓

    • Noxious Resistance

      You read that right, folks.

      Chump wants to guard election hacking.

    • Ill-Advised

      To be sure, election hacking should be made safe, if you can’t count on the voters knowing what’s good for them.

  • Msgr_MΩment

    “Will no one rid me of my meddlesome kin?”

  • natoslug

    With this level of competence among the Trump Klan, there’s no way they actually run legitimate businesses. Anything short of being fronts for money laundering, drug smuggling and/or human trafficking, and they’d have been penniless decades ago.

    • The Green Bastard

      Not being able to run casinos, even, says they might even be kinda shitty grifters & really only benefit when they’re used as a go-between by ppl who do it better.

  • Good_Gawd_Yall

    Snark off: I just finished reading Masha Gessen’s “The Man without a Face,” which is a terrifying study of Vladimir Putin and how he got chosen to be the president and what happened afterward. If I weren’t nearly 100% sure Dolt 45 can’t read I’d assume he read it not as the critical, eye-opening biography that it is but as directions for “how to take over a country without firing a shot.” I think it should be mandatory reading for all Americans.
    snark back on/ except for the trumpanzees, who can’t read either.

    • OutOfOrbit

      How turn snark off & on like that? Are you a witch?

    • mancityRed6

      reading never did him no good no how.

    • SisterArtemis

      I’ve never read anything by her, but have enjoyed her input into various MSNBC discussions. Particularly good on AM Joy, because the format allows for longer, conversational segments. She’s very interesting.

      • Resistance Fighter Astraea

        I like her segments on Sam Bee’s show, too.

  • tomamitai

    If someone had told me forty years ago that republicans would one day collude with Russian spies to win an election I would have laughed in their face.

  • UncleTravelingMatt

    Just poured myself a glass of kvass, and I still swallow less Russian swill than the Trump family does.

  • Good_Gawd_Yall

    Remember back in May when Dolt fired Comey, and then went on Lester Holt’s show and admitted (bragged) that he’d done it because he wanted to shut down “the Russia thing,” and then SNL did a skit where “Lester” says “Did I get him? Did I just get him?” then he listens to his earpiece and says, “Nothing matters?” and we laughed ruefully because it’s true? That’s how I feel about all of these revelations. It only matters if it matters to Republican House members, and it doesn’t matter to them. There are NO republicans willing to stand up for this country and stop all this. NONE. We can rail in fury all we want, but at the end of the day, until they find a new breed of republican grafted off the old breed from the days when you became a congresscritter to help your fellow Americans and not to enrich yourself and be famous, we’ll be “full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.”

    • RobespierreHoo

      The only thing these a-holes understand or are committed to is their own reelection, which allows the Citizens United money to keep flowing, and God’s vital work on the next tax cut achieved. Only when that overarching obsession is threatened by their continued silence and tacit acceptance of Man-Boy’s shit show will they pivot. Not a moment before.

  • Bub, the truculent Zombie

    Donnie Jr. is really in an invidious position. He can admit to being involved in a criminal conspiracy, or he can try to convince everyone that he’s so stupid he could get a job as a taste tester at a paste factory. There really is no third option. Apparently he’s decided to go with option #2. Don’t think it’s going to work…but I’ll try to help him out anyway:

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/cd7245bc5918296810023a9b1d838390e2944af4715d90e2202e3c13a5b63894.jpg

    Chow down, dumbass!

    • suziq

      You don’t think second option will work? I kind of tend to think he is that stupid, but appearances can be deceiving.

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      I’m with Suziq – I vote for option #2- and it’s absolutely believable to me. Donnie Jr has to constantly prove to Daddy how smrt he is.
      It doesn’t say much for Jareds brainpower either

  • Good_Gawd_Yall

    All great businessmen take lengthy meetings with people they don’t know for purposes they don’t know. It’s just rude not to believe this.

  • President in Exile Firefly

    Ya gotta wonder about a country that responds to a diplomatic problem with another country by saying, “Fine. You won’t be able to adopt our orphans anymore.”

    • mancityRed6

      orphans and weapons, Russia’s biggest exports.

      • weejee

        Vodka is not working for birth control?

        • mancityRed6

          quite the opposite, really.

      • therblig

        Polonium laced reporter notebooks?

        • weejee

          Doesn’t have the overheating problems of lithium.

        • mancityRed6

          you can’t count anything less than 1,000 as an export for a country that size

    • Jamoche

      Ah, but there’s a subtle causality chain: lots of them were adopted by white fundies – adoption is all part of their obsession with big families. Now they’ve had their supply cut off – who are they going to blame, the president or the guy who feels the same way about gays as they do?

      • Kooolest G

        as somebody who works for big orphan, I can tell you that not america is a little touchy about orphans being adopted to “the west”. a lot of countries that don’t want to admit that they’re 3rd world get embarrassed when rich countries adopt their kids, so the politicians make it difficult for foreigners to adopt to make themselves feel important at the expense of all the orphans. russia is particularly bad because the conditions in their orphanages are pretty much the worst in the world, the babies are pretty much just left alone in cribs all day with almost no human contact which leads to a lot of attachment disorders later in life.

        • Ill-Advised

          Attachment disorders = criminal lifestyles?
          Asking seriously.

  • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

    “We’re idiots” is a heck of a defense! Covers everything!

  • mancityRed6

    “DJ, Kush and Paulie Walnuts”
    worst rave ever.

  • weejee

    Gives one pause that these clowns are politically successful spouting this sort of drivel.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/edec191268cf57307b8a532c4ed0a807301aa924a72cbe27ebfef32e9a9b8af0.jpg

  • SayItWithWookies

    Funny that Assmouth is so interested in adopting Russian babies — what, Slovenia won’t let him import models anymore, so wife #4 has to come from Russia? Or is this sort of a goodwill gesture, like intermarriage between royal families? Either way, Assmouth’s adopting 20 Russian girls and making them duke it out to be the future Mrs. Assmouth in the most-watched reality show ever. The ratings will be yoooooge.

  • BadKitty904
    • Dudleydidwrong

      Lower picture needs moar facial hair–or facial mold. And, by the way, Donald, the two kids in the upper photo are better looking than the ones in the bottom. Just sayin’.

  • PigsDoFly

    I’m sure they were just talking about hockey defensive tatics. The Broad Street Bully vs the Czech style.

  • SayItWithWookies

    A minor point, but it turns out Jared did disclose this meeting — the day after he was supposed to, granted, but in an amendment to the disclosure form he originally filled out:

    Kushner’s lawyer said in a statement that the president’s son-in-law had
    disclosed the session previously on his security clearance forms.
    But the new public report adds to the roster of curious private
    meetings between Trump allies and Russians during and after the
    campaign.

    Which still leaves unanswered whether it was a policy discussion — if it was about adoption, then the adoption ban by Putin was a quid-pro-quo for the Magnitsky Act, it would be hard to discuss one without the other.

    The “we were set up” angle is awesome chutzpah too — but that has another hole that will need patching. If the so-far-anonymous person who asked Donnie to have a meeting with an unnamed Russian had close ties to Crossroads GPS, then why did Donnie consent to such a sketchy meeting? And why didn’t the Democrats expose it before the election, when it would’ve destroyed Trump’s credibility?

    But yeah — way to flail on excuses there — it gives me confidence that Assmouth and his henchmen will handle any crisis with calm, thoughtfulness and resolve.

    • Jamoche

      “And why didn’t the Democrats expose it before the election, when it would’ve destroyed Trump’s credibility?”

      That whole “we go high” thing. It doesn’t seem to be working for them.

      • Le Chapeau

        Does anyone at this point actually believe anything could have destroyed Trump’s credibility during the campaign? Seriously, a little kissy kissy meeting with the fair Natalia could have been shrugged off and Trump’s supporters would not have blinked. Here’s the fair Natalia, by the way.
        http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2017/07/08/23/4227F05F00000578-4678456-image-a-13_1499553485662.jpg

        • Jamoche

          I would hope they didn’t believe that. I’m just eye-rolling at them not wanting to look like they were doing dirty politics against someone who wouldn’t know clean if it peed on him.

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        “When they go high, we go low . . . that’s where the votes are.” -GOP

    • TundraGrifter

      Actually, this makes the meeting more suspicious. First it wasn’t listed, then it was, then he says he didn’t have to include it. If he didn’t have to include it because it wasn’t a “policy discussion” why then did he?

      • SayItWithWookies

        Jared forgot all of his meetings with foreign officials on his initial disclosure forms. He sent in a correction the next day, so that part seems more like poor organization than hiding something. The rest of it though, plus the flailing excuses, is shady all the way down.

        • TundraGrifter

          You are a much more generous and understanding person than I am.

  • BadKitty904
    • SisterArtemis

      so where is Barron? granddaughter gets to be in the pick, but not the kid? This family is weird is so many different ways.

      • Mr. Blobfish

        Could be an olde tyme picture. Ivanka doesn’t have kids yet. Oh, and Tif-Tif is in the shot.

      • Rose McFrog

        Maybe Barron gets hives like I used to at the mention of family gatherings.

    • Teecha

      Who does he (fail to) pay to take these photos? They are so badly arranged! There’s no balance or symmetry or anything of merit.

      Wankers, the lot of them.

      • BadKitty904

        GlamorSquats

  • DesertedPictures

    I’m going to go out on a limb here: but I’m pretty sure it was Obama’s fault…

    Thanks Obama!

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸

    That Hillary is such an incompetent evil mastermind. Kinda like how Obama was the laziest tyrant usurper ever. Seems legit.

  • BadKitty904

    The Party of “Personal Responsibility,” America…

    • Bub, the truculent Zombie

      “Aren’t you the party of personal responsibility?”

      GOPer: “We are! Personally *points at picture of Obama* I think it’s his responsibility.”

      • Mr. Blobfish

        Obama didn’t book trump’s hotel room.

        • Bub, the truculent Zombie

          He tried! He really did! But every 5 star hotel in Hamburg said they didn’t stock rubber sheets, and well…

      • jesterpunk
  • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

    As Occams Razor fondly waves bye bye…

  • PigsDoFly

    “I don’t know how I’m meeting or why” yeah this is a guy I want in charge of my real-estate empire. I wouldn’t even trust this land lord with changing a washer on my faucet.

  • Mr. Blobfish

    She’s far too important to be caught, you stupid good-looking https://goo.gl/images/HK4bZ4

    • eggs ackly-wright

      Natasha impersonator?

      • Mr. Blobfish

        Madam Yes from the Flintsones

  • UnsaltedSinner
    • Martini Ambassador 🍸

      Wait, is this supposed to be satire?

      • eyelashviper

        Sadly, it is the finest work that Gopers can manage….
        Check it out on youtube, he is garnering fans….

        • Jamoche

          He’s got a twitter too… whoo, boy. Linky on the youtube page.

    • mancityRed6

      um no.
      not even at all.
      jeebus el christo, what a maroon.

    • therblig

      he’s no eminem. maybe pee&pee

    • mancityRed6

      that for damn sure aint no Lil Wyte.
      NSFW drugs
      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bPXDC_U84zI

    • Mr. Blobfish

      Wait. Who’s the guy at the end with the tattoos? Are we supposed to believe Scrawny McDoucheface suddenly turned “bro?

      • mancityRed6

        you watched to the end?
        challenge accepted

        • Mr. Blobfish

          I’m a fan of irritatainment.

        • mailman27

          Challenge acceptance regretted?

          • mancityRed6

            meh

      • mancityRed6

        so he had to borrow someone else’s truck for the video?
        $10 bucks says he has a nazi tattoo somewhere.
        and those tires are at least $300-400 each, it’d be a shame if something were to happen to them.

    • mancityRed6

      auto tune only fixes so much.

    • Augustus

      Oh my wow, the blue and red lights on the bumpers of the truck

      and also “follow the truth” at the end … amazing

      • mancityRed6

        prolly not shopped, but possibly illegal.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      The encyclopedia entry on “Poe’s Law” needs to be updated with what is now the finest known example.

    • nightmoth

      So, ummm, let me get this straight—this is NOT satire? Okey–dokey. I think I’ll take a little nap now and try to forget I ever saw this.

    • sgt. jmk of the résistance

      So… all it takes to make a song (?) is to string RW buzzwords together?

      At least the music behind it is better than this…
      https://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/884033889613828096

    • mailman27

      I can’t Just can’t. 45 seconds, and I had to bail.

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸

    Holy shit. I just lost my eyeballs from them clean rolling away out of their sockets.

    https://twitter.com/BraddJaffy/status/884049665326493696

    • Resistance Fighter Astraea
    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      These guys are going to discuss an impenetrable chicken house with Foxy https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/717d5a04d57de78fceffade58f842bbc7292571a26199d0c7e452c34f9c7e284.jpg

    • Canis Greyhame

      What? Putin vehemently denied the allegations in a private meeting … TWICE! Isn’t that all the justification we need to trust him instead of listening to the entire U.S. intelligence community?

      • SeekingCovfefeBarbie

        Well, you know one time the IC made a mistake, so we might as well shut them down forever.

        • Biel_ze_Bubba

          Hell. they didn’t even make a mistake about Iraq — Dumbya and his neocon morons chose to ignore the actual intel and go with the “facts” they wanted to believe. Trump, as usual, as always, is full of shit.

          • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

            And “Slam dunk” Tennet went along with it. So there’s that. The spin machine depends on ignorant receivers.

        • Steve Cole

          Well… there might be more than one mistake. And it might not have been a mistake, depending upon how one judges consensus. But I still like our own over the alternative. Or perhaps this is all a clever ploy to have Booze Allen Hamilton start contracting at the GRU.

    • The Green Bastard

      You gonna let those punks talk abt you like that, CIA?

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      So how long does the IC continue to put up with this bumbling stupidity and disrespect? More cooperation for Mueller I suppose.

      • SeekingCovfefeBarbie

        They play a long game. trump may yet regret his disdain. I hope.

      • Steve Cole

        Uncertain you really want IC that actively shape domestic policies.

        • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

          I suppose. If Congress were doing their actual constitutional job of oversight on this feckless moron, we wouldn’t even be thinking things like that.

          • Riley Whodat Venable

            They are busy getting tax cuts through. Why work to make America safer unless there are tax breaks.

          • amrak63

            Exactly, but that would require members of the Cruelty And Treason Party (fka GOP) to put country above party.

        • amrak63

          I usually would not, but Ascended Madoka help us, it begins to look like the lesser evil to me–something I would not have imagined myself, in my worst nightmares, could be driven to think.

    • Steve Cole

      Or perhaps Snowden? At least he already lives in Moscow.

    • UnsaltedSinner

      I put the odds that tweets from @wikileaks are written by @JulianAssange at somewhere around 1 to 1.

    • PubOption

      Where was Barron, isn’t he supposed to be in charge of the cyber?

      • commatoes

        I think it’s part of Jared’s portfolio along with federal government reform, Mid-East peace. solving the opioid crisis, solving the Unified Field Theory. solving the six remaining Millennium Problems in Math, and figuring out how to not look like a constipated entitled douche.

    • (((fka_donnie_d)))

      I’ll say it again. I don’t care if they hire Benedict Cumberbatch, at this point any investigation is a grotesque waste of taxpayer money.

    • JMP

      Well Julian and Donald both agree that it’s perfectly OK to force sexual activity on non-consenting women against their will.

    • puredog

      “ooooo — the Palace? They are cleaning it. It won’t be here much longer.”

  • Mr. Blobfish

    Who are they kidding? The only reason a trump would care about A Orphan is if they needed their blood for a beauty treatment.

    • Martini Ambassador 🍸

      You know, there are cancer kid charities that are very important to Jr. Mostly as piggy banks, but you can’t argue that kids are somehow very critical to the grifting.

      • Mr. Blobfish

        Any trump charity probably gives children cancer.

      • commatoes

        Sr. overcharged Jr.’s charity for use of the NJ golf course for a fundraiser for St. Jude’s.

      • SisterArtemis

        Man, that’s some artistic cleavage placement there, with the strings off the bow hanging down.

      • what is that from?

        • That’s Hammer Horror Honey Ingrid Pitt in the aptly titled THE HOUSE THAT DRIPPED BLOOD. At the time she was a big of a ‘horror star’ as Christopher Lee and Peter Cushing. She also played a Hammer version of Bathory in COUNTESS DRACULA.

          • was that around the same time as ‘she’? i remember watching stuff like this in late 70’s in my BFFs basement. at a sleepover. with popcorn.

            good times.

          • It was a few years later than SHE (1965).

            And that
            s pretty much the same way I was introduced to many of these movies: at sleepovers with late night monster movies!

  • Jennifer R

    So Notch (of minecraft fame) is mad that everyone in gaming thinks he is a raging shit and boos his name when he donates to charity streams now. His next idea? Latch on to the furry comedian who once said child sexual assault victims are “privileged”.

    • Bemused

      Well, it might help if he stopped being a jerk.

      • OutOfOrbit

        Unpossible.

      • commatoes

        The past election and the pact between trump and the GOP reminded me of the Scorpion and the Frog fable.

        Halfway across the river, the scorpion stung the frog. When the frog asked him why he did it, since now they would both die, the scorpion replied… “It’s my nature.

        I doubt Donny will change.

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      The Bad Idea Bears have been busy, haven’t they?

  • Bemused

    “Sir? A John Smith has called to request a 2:00 meeting next Thursday.”
    “Do I know a John Smith, Cindy?”
    “No Sir, I don’t believe so, sir. I think he may have given me a false name and he spoke with a Russian accent.”
    “Fine, fine, put him in for 2:30 next Thursday, right after my blow job. Lets show him whose boss.”

    How many people here believe that “powerful” business people frequently set up meetings with anonymous people? Nobody?

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      I’m middle-management, and I won’t even set up a meeting unless I know who it is and what it’s about.

      • SeekingCovfefeBarbie

        I’m an Executive Assistant and I’m the same.

      • Teecha

        I’m a teacher. I need an agenda 24hours in advance. And I don’t count the weekend as part of those 24hours.

      • SisterArtemis

        I manage a business with three employees. Same thing here.

      • OrdinaryJoe

        I’m a lawyer so I often meet with people who I don’t know because that is just the way it is with some cleints, but then again I have attorney client privilege to protect the discussion. Trumps should know that.

        • SisterArtemis

          But you know they are coming to you as a client. You know something about it ahead of time – they are seeking a meeting to see if you can help them with their legal quandary. When someone calls for an appointment with me, I at least sort whether they’re a potential client, trying to sell me something, soliciting a donation, etc.

    • OutOfOrbit

      Mebbee the name given was Joe Bloe.

    • OrdinaryJoe

      Only if the meeting is set up over the phone by talking to somebody who calls herself “Mistress” or “Madame” to meet with a woman named “Natasha or Katrina, because they are always named Natasha or Katrina.

      • SisterArtemis

        Svetlanka, also too. But only for the high rollers.

  • Villago Delenda Est

    I will delight in this vile little shitstain living out the rest of his miserable life in prison.

    • OutOfOrbit

      He still has his Top Secret clearance, he can blow town if they get too close cuz he’ll know they’re coming before they do.

    • Wild Cat

      Any awareness if anyone in the active US military actually cares that we’re a Russian satellite now?

  • Me not sure

    The Republicans all need to learn Russian for Grand Old Party.
    Грандиозная вечеринка.

    • Canis Greyhame

      At this point, it’s not even the orange beast that is to blame, it’s everyone who continues to enable his confused & lumbering rampage.

      • Augustus

        It’s both. He and his whole klan of kronies and sycophants are to blame equally as the hundreds of spineless and corrupt congresspeople who are failing to act every day.

      • Me not sure

        I sense that the Republican push-back has begun, if only on a small scale. The party pros know that this is a disaster in the making for their party. It’s just a shame that they have to have their jobs on the line for them to get motivated, as opposed to the “good of the country”.

        • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

          It’s also the paste eating base that they have been actively encouraging all these years. The monster will tell the villagers to attack the castle should they attempt to rein him in.

          • Me not sure

            They are in a real bind. Not a moral bind, that’s asking too much, but a bind nontheless.

          • commatoes

            I agree. A moral bind implies an existing set of morals.

            More like driven down a ethical, political, and intellectual dead end street.

          • Me not sure

            Trump street, a dead end on both ends.

        • commatoes

          But disaster is one of tRUMP’s favorite words. He has the best words from his best brain.

          I expect more cogency from my nieces and nephew. None of them have started school yet.

      • armed_bears

        it’s everyone who continues to enable his confused & lumbering rampage.

        Absent them, he’d be gone.

      • OutOfOrbit

        The Special Investigator could stop them, but “these things take time, be patient”.

        • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

          He won’t get a second bite at the apple. There are a lot of threads to untangle here, and they likely go back 20 or 30 years. Based on the team that Mueller has put together, the evidence will be so overwhelming that it can’t simply be ignored.

          • OutOfOrbit

            Mueller only has to prove the OPOS is the arsonist for one of his many fires to shut him down, he doesn’t need to prove all 999,000 since birth.

          • SeekingCovfefeBarbie

            He needs to be sure the fire wasn’t a cover for a bigger crime.

        • Resistance Fighter Astraea

          Two months isn’t a lot of time to gather information and put together all the documentation for a straightforward criminal case, let alone the sorts of things the Trump family is up to.

          • OutOfOrbit

            I know. I get schooled every time I whine about nuttin happenin fast enuff (foe me). Sometimes I could scream, I could just scream.

        • SisterArtemis

          That’s ok, I wouldn’t mind if they took Pence and possibly Ryan down as well, and there’s also my long game fantasy in which the Dems take back the House in 2018, THEN they take down the GOP traitors, and Nancy Pelosi steps into the Oval Office until 2020, which we secure with the likes of Amy Klobuchar or Cory Booker, and when incidentally Mitch McConnell is up for re-election, he loses to a sensible moderate of some sort (D or R, I don’t care), and we also take the Senate.

          A girl can dream…

          • commatoes

            I wonder if Pelosi would pardon tRUMP like Ford with Nixon, GHWB with the Iran Contra bunch, and GWB commuted Scooter Libby.

            Sorry, I could not finish that though without taking a moment to stop laughing.

          • starfanglednut

            You think Ryan is involved in the Russian thing? One of my many current nightmares is that trump and pence go down and we’re left with zegs Ryan to truly kill everyone in the country except for his rich friends and stepford family.

        • Rose McFrog

          Better to take the time then have to do it all over again when it’s thrown out on a techniciality.

      • commatoes

        Watched a video by TYT, that highlighted the GOP’s tolerance of all of tRUMP’s “foibles” until his tweet about Mika and Joe on MSNBC. Carly Fiorina and Heidi Cruz, along with self respecting women every are collectively screaming, “THIS IS YOUR F**KING STEP TOOO GAWD DAMN FAR?”

    • PubOption

      Looks like grandiose, but then we are talking Trump.

      • Me not sure

        I was conflicted over which of two versions to use, but thought either would work.

    • commatoes

      Spasiba tovarich!!!

      • starfanglednut

        Thanks, I’d love some! Does it come with sour cream?

        • commatoes

          Da!

  • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

    Hillary? Maybe? You know that tricksy Kenyan Muslim negro had to have a hand in this. He never passes up a chance to embarrass the Trump family.

  • I remember that ‘Russian Adoption’ craze.

    According to Law & Order they soon all turned into little sociopathic psychopaths who’d strangle the dog, smother the baby, and stab you to death in your sleep.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-m92tuqthJw

    • You aren’t supposed to do those things? Asking for a friend…

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      That was okay though, because you could give them away or trade them to other famblies on AOL message boards. That really was a thing.

      • Resistance Fighter Astraea

        Or just put them on a plane back to Russia.

      • DT

        That really IS a thing (although maybe not AOL anymore)

      • starfanglednut

        Ugh. I’d forgotten about that.

    • The KGB Ate Our Votes

      Yes. I do remember reading stories of adopted Russian kids doing just that. Horrifying dead-eyed sociopaths who left the adoptive parents fearing for their lives.

      • OutOfOrbit

        Purdy shure they was Messican kids routed thru’ Russia cuz come on…

      • Pax Americana Per Ars Smith

        That’s why you want to get them as infants; train them in American sociopathy.

    • SisterArtemis

      I had friends about 10 years ago who adopted one of these kids – some very serious problems. Food hoarding and such they could deal with (the girl was worried about starving, so it made at least some sense), but there were a lot of manipulative head games she employed as survival tactics, and she wasn’t opening up to counselors either, last I checked in. Also, some serious anger issues – understandable, but hard to deal with and sometimes dangerous to their other kids. They stuck with it though, for which I give them much credit.

    • darnyoudarnyoutoheck

      People were awfully naive. If you adopt you need to be aware that FAS, FAE and attachment disorder are something you may face. And yes sociopathy is a possible consequence of severe abuse.

      • commatoes

        I remember reading about some truly horrifying child psychology experiments done in US orphanages to study the effects of negative reinforcement, lack of affection, and socialization on toddlers to preteens. They realised too late that these experiments left the kids with permanent brain changed and scarred for life.

        • therblig

          they could have just studied the trump family

  • Michael R

    This headline wouldn’t be surprising

    TRUMP GIVES TOP SECURITY CLEARANCE TO PUTIN

    • Trump replies: “I’ve got ’em just where he wants!”

    • susan_g

      He’ll probably toss in the nuke strike codes.

    • Steve Cole

      TRUMP RENEWS TOP SECURITY CLEARANCE TO PUTIN (FTFY)

      • Michael R

        will also accept :
        PUTIN GIVES TOP SECURITY CLEARANCE TO TRUMP

        • Doug Langley

          Doubt he trusts him that much.

  • OrdinaryJoe

    So. Let me get this straight. The Trump Crime Family defense du
    jour is that a right wing controlled media operation quoted an unnamed
    criminal defense lawyer for one of the Trumputin mafia about an
    unidentified contact that “may” have been connected to a firm that is
    “believed” to be involved with an incriminating dossier about Trump? In other words, we are just making up as much bull shit as possible, throwing it all out there and
    hoping we can get the public off the scent of our own corrupt
    actions.

    • SeekingCovfefeBarbie

      It’s their standard M.O.

      • JoeChristmas

        It’s a business model.

    • commatoes

      *sarcastically surprised at the hypocrisy*

  • Uday Jr should follow the advice of Jimmy Dugan: “Use your head! You know, that lump 3 feet above your ass!”

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      I think he listened to something else.

      “It was made very clear to me what I’m supposed to do here. I smile, wave my little hat… I did that, so when do I get paid?”

  • jaspersdad

    Editor pick over at the Guardian. Thought I’d share it.

    “Zoe Leonard puts it succinctly in her poem way back in 1992. Timely ..

    I want a dyke for president. I want a person with AIDS for president and I want a fag for vice president and I want someone with no health insurance and I want someone who grew up in a place where the earth is so saturated with toxic waste that they didn’t have a choice about getting leukemia. I want a president that had an abortion at sixteen and I want a candidate who isn’t the lesser of two evils and I want a president who lost their last lover to AIDS, who still sees that in their eyes every time they lay down to rest, who held their lover in their arms and knew they were dying. I want a president with no air-conditioning, a president who has stood in line at the clinic, at the DMV, at the welfare office, and has been unemployed and laid off and sexually harassed and gaybashed and deported. I want someone who has spent the night in the tombs and had a cross burned on their lawn and survived rape. I want someone who has been in love and been hurt, who respects sex, who has made mistakes and learned from them. I want a Black woman for president. I want someone with bad teeth and an attitude, someone who has eaten that nasty hospital food, someone who crossdresses and has done drugs and been in therapy. I want someone who has committed civil disobedience. And I want to know why this isn’t possible. I want to know why we started learning somewhere down the line that a president is always a clown. Always a john and never a hooker. Always a boss and never a worker. Always a liar, always a thief, and never caught.”

    • SisterArtemis

      That’s powerful stuff right there. Thanks.

      • Harrietjfenner

        Managing director of Google says we are paying $97 per hour! Work for few hours and have longer with friends & family^hu188d:
        On tuesday I got a great new Toyota Tundra from having earned $8752 this last four weeks.. Its the most-financialy rewarding I’ve had.. It sounds unbelievable but you wont forgive yourself if you don’t check it…Then visit following link for more info
        ~hh188o:
        ➽➽
        ➽➽;➽➽ http://GoogleFinancialJobsCash478MediaDynamic/GetPay$97/Hour ★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★:::::~hh188o…

    • Sophie McMillan

      had great fun reading the comments on the aussie journo commentary. There are a few trump bots still there spouting things like ” left wing commie journo” Sadly, they failed to learn about the man in question who is center right and somewhat of a dick when it comes to renewables and marxism

      • jaspersdad

        Yep. Firmly in Murdoch’s pocket.

    • Cranky Man

      Ezzzackkly

  • Mr. Blobfish

    If they run government like they do business, no wonder they get sued so much.

    • And have a string of serial bankruptcies.

      • Even after all these years, i am still insanely confused at how one could bankrupt a casino

        • mancityRed6

          instead of them working together, they competed against each other.
          that, and the economy not doing so well.
          still, he let success drop out of his little hands.

          • Bub, the truculent Zombie
          • commatoes

            I remember reading that if tRUMP put his inheritance into an index fund, he would be wealthier than he is right now. Basically, he is wealthy IN SPITE of his business acumen.

          • Bub, the truculent Zombie

            Especially since how wealthy he is in reality is an open question. I suspect that if he actually had to sell off all his assets and pay his obligations he would not be very wealthy at all afterwards.

          • commatoes

            tRUMP’s actual wealth would be a rounding error for the people he considers his “peers”.

        • nightmoth

          I don’t know either, but I did have a wealthy white Trumpanzee tell me it was all Ivana’s fault, because the Donald let HER run that casino!

        • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

          When you look at every business venture as a short term asset to be looted for personal gain, it’s not difficult. Extract the cash, screw the investors, and go on to the next thing.

        • BadKitty904

          It’s an innate gift.

          • Last Hussar

            Innate Grift.

          • BadKitty904

            Too. Also.

        • jesterpunk
        • Mr. Blobfish

          Oops. I meant to put the three casinos comment here.

        • David Chaillou

          It’s easy but you do need lots of offshore accounts.

        • JMP

          Now that Atlantic City is dying, it’s easy; but Donald managed to do it back in the 90s before all the other East Coast states had some form of legal casino gambling when AC casinos were a license to print money.

      • Mr. Blobfish

        Three. Three casinos in direct competition with each other.

        • commatoes

          The Taj’s fixtures and furnishings are being sold off as we speak.

  • Uggh, I’ve been down the Trump Twitter rabbit hole, reading the reactions to his idea to have Putin play a role in US cybersecurity. Some of the Trumplodytes are tweeting “keep your enemies closer!” I’m pretty sure that doesn’t mean “inside your headquarters”.

    This country is well and truly boned.

  • BadKitty904
    • msanthropesmr

      Pfft. Liebral media using words and stuff.

    • mancityRed6

      I’m surprised he knew what “disproportionate” meant enough to use it in a sentence.

      • commatoes

        And supposedly, he is the smart brother. Ivanka has the most brains of all of the kids and even she can’t polish the turds that fly out of the tRUMP’s mouth. And Don Jr. doesn’t even use it precisely. Disproportionately small or large and in relation to what? And why does he use the word cross-section? He may have inherited dear ole Dad’s inability to construct a coherent sentence and just uses the words he has heard actual intelligent people use.

      • BadKitty904

        African grey parrots are highly intelligent, having been known to perform
        at the cognitive level of a 4– to 6-year-old child in some tasks. Most notably, Dr. Pepperberg’s work has shown that some of these parrots have an ability to learn over 100 words, differentiating between objects, colors, materials, and shapes.

        Just sayin’…

        • starfanglednut

          Oh, I love Alex the parrot. I was heartbroken when he died.

          • BadKitty904

            lol I *KNEW* a Wonketteer would recognize Dr. Pepperberg’s research!!1! Well done!

            (And say, how are you coming along, m’dear? Some better, I hope?)

  • OutOfOrbit

    Have Shanz & Baconz come up for air yet or are they still bleeping?

    • They’ve popped up here and there

    • Yr. Gma

      Baconz has dropped in to tell us about his bunny-killing tendencies.

      • OutOfOrbit

        Heavy sigh I miss all the good stuff.

      • Pax Americana Per Ars Smith

        Lotta good eatin’ on one of those things!

        • SisterArtemis
          • oh so cute. we have a ton in the neighborhood / backyard. don’t know how they survive neighborhood cats.

          • therblig

            i think it has to do with size, aggressiveness, and big honking feet. we rescued a cast out easter bunny from our backyard years ago and all of our cats were terrified of her. one tried to play with her once, but when Carrots jumped on her back, that was the end of a potential friendship.

          • SisterArtemis

            mine could kick the asses of both my cats, and one of them weighs twice as much as they do

          • Pax Americana Per Ars Smith

            Side-eye at that!

  • TheGrandWazoo2

    How long before Trump signs an Executive Order freeing his family and anyone in his administration from having to make up ridiculous lies to try and cover their asses?

    The official responses could be *nudge-nudge* *wink-wink*. It would be just as good as what we get now.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
  • msanthropesmr

    OT – About to embark for CHI
    Improve drinky thing anyone?
    Or anyone want to give recommendations for din din?
    I’m staying at Holiday Inn Express Miracle Mile.

    • armed_bears

      Emerald Loop Bar & Grill, on Wacker

    • i would be depending on time/place (i’m in rehearsals for a show right now and they are evenings).

      • msanthropesmr

        I’ve got meetings until 7 min tue Weds.

  • Wolf Tracker
  • Daniel Hooper

    So, one more for the pile of Russian involvement in our election. Anytime you want to start with those charges, Mr. Mueller, we’ll be ready.

    • Sophie McMillan

      Listening to Malcolm Nance talk about this – he posits it will be within a 12 month period before they bring the actual charges. he accepts it could go faster, but with the need to make sure every single bit of evidence is valid ( can”t afford to get case thrown out on technicality) they are taking their time and being extra careful.

  • Mr. Lambert

    I’m surprised Soros wasn’t blamed. Because, you know.

    • Shoebutton

      Soros? Hmmph You can’t trust the guy. I’m still waiting on my Sorobucks.

      • FDRliberal

        I’m super-pissed at Soros. I keep telling him to send me a paper check and he keeps sending me money via PayPal which takes a 3% fee.

      • Grokenstein

        You know who else never pays his servants?

        • Shoebutton

          Who?

    • JMP

      The George Soros of the wingnut imagination is basically every antisemitic conspiracy theory, but with “the Jews” turned singular.

    • WotsAllThisThen

      He’s too busy paying people to protest. Speaking of which, I still haven’t received my check.

  • Kakkeltje

    Maybe it is time for the USA to overhaul some aspects of their goverment. I heard good things about strange women lying in ponds distributing swords as a basis for a system of government.

  • OrdinaryJoe

    I don’t think you can claim attorney client privilege in the US if the lawyer you are meeting with is an attorney in Russia for the other side.

  • Lyly Sirivong

    When in doubt (or even when not in doubt), blame Hillary (and/or her emails).

  • So, watching A League of Their Own and not commenting on Wonkette is really helping my packing game

  • TJ Barke

    These guys are dumber than a box of rocks. Unfortunately, their supporters are dumber…

  • FDRliberal

    Lickspittle
    /ˈlikˌspidl/
    noun
    a person who behaves obsequiously to those in power.

    https://twitter.com/ezlusztig/status/884056363835502592

    • Sophie McMillan

      it kind of looks like she is doing the British ” grin and bear it” and fake a smile for the little twat. I have no love for Maybot but with the EU currently saying that she will have to work for every single country trade deal, she needs the cock womble as a trade partner

      • Yeah, and if you look at the death grip he seems to have on her hand, that could be a grimace of pain rather than a smile.

    • therblig

      Keep Calm and Puke Later

  • JMP

    I’m waiting for the usual suspect idiots claiming to be leftists to show up and start screeching that we’re conspiracy theorists and McCarthyites for reporting on actual connections between the Trump campaign and Russia.

  • OrdinaryJoe

    Q: What do Bernie Sanders and Donald Trump have in common?

    A: The FBI is investigating a member of their family for financial crimes.

    • FDRliberal

      Re-fighting the Democratic primary wars is not what we need while Trump is walking around posing an existential threat to the planet and looking to remove health insurance from 22 million Americans.

    • Sophie McMillan

      except the R who threw about the claims about Mrs Sanders admitted last week that they were smears in an attempt to derail Bernie’s run at the time.

  • jaspersdad

    Trump Supporter Mantra:

    We have not been manipulated by Russian propaganda.

    The American free press are liars and not to be trusted.

    The American Intelligence agencies are liars and not to be trusted.

    Trust Russia.

    Russia is our friend.

    We have not been manipulated by Russian propaganda.

  • Jo Mathie

    As someone who is a Brit and therefore can be unbiased (apart from WTF America?)
    Why do all Republicans look like they are dead inside? I mean from Jared to Palin to Barron (I’m not including Trump because there isn’t anything in his brain to destroy). I remember Obama’s smile and Micheles’s sparkle and their enthusiasm. Now you’ve got a dead waxwork of a president only he hasn’t had the dignity to be dead yet.

    • TJ Barke

      Sociopaths.

    • SeekingCovfefeBarbie

      They look dead inside because they are dead inside. Zombies took over our government because we never imagined there were people like that in real life who would despise their own country so much.

    • Sophie McMillan

      as a fellow Brit – don’t you see the same in Maybot and pals? Is it something to do with their upbringing?? lack of empathy for others from an early age??

      • Jo Mathie

        Oh totally not a fan of May, but she at least seems to vaguely know what she’s doing (even if it isn’t the right thing). Trump can’t work out how to get into a Limo five feet in front of him.

    • Bitter Scribe

      Oh, I disagree. Trump’s face displays plenty of emotions. Rage, anger, scorn, smugness, smug scorn, and did I mention rage?

  • Moebym Reborn
    • BadKitty904

      Thanks, GOP!

      • WotsAllThisThen

        Maybe they can find the answer in Hillary’s emails.

        • BadKitty904

          WHAT “e-mails”?

          • Marion in Savannah

            AOT,K, especially the ones about Ben Ghazee. (Is he related to Ben Gay?)

          • BadKitty904

            I thought he was kin to Ben Laden. Or, in the case of the American people, Ben Had.

          • Chris Mattson

            Ben Kingsley

          • Maggielle

            Ben Casey, who is related to Ben Carson via their brilliant neurosurgery skillz.

  • bookish

    https://www.theatlantic.com/politics/archive/2017/07/why-lawmakers-need-the-congressional-budget-office/532929/?google_editors_picks=true

    In some cases, entire offices have been axed. Once upon a time, the Office of Technology Assessment provided lawmakers with scientific expertise. The Advisory Commission on Intergovernmental Relations, meanwhile, aimed to improve coordination between federal, state, and local governments. Then along came Newt Gingrich, who killed both during his reign as speaker in the mid-90s. Part of the issue was money. The Republican Revolution ushered in all manner of congressional budget-cutting in the name of fiscal responsibility and taming government. But more than that, it was about power. In his zeal to centralize authority in his office, the monomaniacal Gingrich began doing away with any person or institution on Capitol Hill with the knowledge and experience to second-guess his grand plans.

    But here’s the problem with shedding the Hill’s pointy-headed know-it-alls. Without independent, nonpartisan, in-house repositories of knowledge, Congress becomes ever more dependent on outside know-it-alls. Particularly on complex policy matters (like, oh, health care reform), lawmakers must increasingly rely on research and analysis funded by lobbyists and think tanks, all of which have their own biases and agendas. This only increases the leverage that lobbyists, groups like Heritage, AEI, and the Center for American Progress, and even the executive branch have over lawmakers.

  • jaspersdad

    Trump’s seamless transition from national embarrassment to global embarrassment has been the smoothest part of his presidency.

    • Left Coast Tom

      …and people said he couldn’t “pivot”!

    • Moebym Reborn

      One could argue he became a global embarrassment when he became the nominee for the Republican Party.

  • Cock Blockula

    “But the FBI kept cock-blocking him…”

    Hey, hey, hey now! I had NOTHING to do with this!

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸

    Geeze, Russians now want a SMRT and diplomatic puppet? Ingrates.
    https://twitter.com/BBCWillVernon/status/884124927821062144

    • SeekingCovfefeBarbie

      He hasn’t studied history AT ALL.

    • Lyly Sirivong

      Haha ! He expected Trump to study something.

    • WotsAllThisThen

      You mean watching cable news every morning isn’t the proper way to study?

      • mailman27

        “I like to watch.” A shame Peter Sellers isn’t here to see it.

    • Resistance Fighter Astraea

      As if anything outside Trump’s personal experience even exists!

    • BadKitty904

      Well, hells, YOU guys put him in the Oval Office…

      • WotsAllThisThen

        And isn’t his total lack of knowledge exactly the reason why.

        • BadKitty904

          That, plus obedience and ease of control.

    • georgiaburning

      Buyer’s regret. Should’ve put their money on Cruz or Rubio. Much more accommodating tools, and not senile.

      • Msgr_MΩment

        You dance with the shitgibbon that brung ya,
        not the shitgibbon you wish had brung ya.

        Or something

    • Vecchioivan

      Buyer’s remorse.

      • theCryptofishist

        Face it, if they could have bought off Hillary, they would have.

        • Wontium

          Only to jump in a river. Trump could have been running on a ‘fuck the russians’ platform, in a non pee tape way, and he’d still be giddy to see Hillary’s career finally come to an end. He hates her soooo much.

  • bookish
  • WotsAllThisThen

    And don’t forget, his sister is way out of your league.

    https://twitter.com/DonaldJTrumpJr/status/883706885358092289

    • TJ Barke

      She’s also a fucking thief and scam artist like daddy.

    • Martini Ambassador 🍸

      Why does everyone in that creepy family refer to Ivanka in dating terms?

      • TJ Barke

        Cuz freaks.

      • bookish

        Because wimmenz true value is to be a pretty piece of ass.

        • Walter Wellstone

          I wouldn’t hit that. Too skinny.

          • starfanglednut

            And corpse-like. I really don’t see the appeal.

    • BMW

      I didn’t even know she played basketball!

      • puredog

        I didn’t even know she’d achieved success.

        • I didn’t know she was eloquent!

          el·o·quent
          adjective
          fluent or persuasive in speaking or writing.
          “an eloquent speech”

          synonyms: fluent, articulate, expressive, silver-tongued; More clearly expressing or indicating something.

          Nope. Still don’t know she’s eloquent.

    • Lori

      I freely admit that I am not the smartest person in the world. I personally know quite a number of people who make my brain feel very small indeed, never mind the other great big brains that I know only through books, or the internet, or other non-personal means. I also think straight up bragging is generally kind of dickish. That said, my response to the notion that Ivanka’s smarts are way out of my league is—ha, ha, ha, ha, LOL, ha. Jr seems to forget that we’ve seen Ivanka’s “book” and have a pretty clear picture of how Daddy’s little pumpkin achieved her success.

      Also, saying as little of substance as possible in order to allow people to project their own wishes onto you is not the same thing as being eloquent.

      Also, too–shut up Jr.

      • Maggielle

        Lori, this was a nicely architected comment.

        • Lori

          Thank you. I should have a book deal any day now, right? :)

    • Komsumverweigerer Ron

      Well, like her father she has a certain low cunning that can pass for ‘smart’ in a bad light. Any claim she has to eloquence comes from things she’s stolen from other people – her own words wouldn’t pass muster if she were writing for ‘Love is…’ But I’ll agree she’s out of my league, as my league neither accepts nor tolerates poseurs and wannabes.

  • jaspersdad

    “Putin & I discussed forming an impenetrable Cyber Security unit so that election hacking, & many other negative things, will be guarded … and safe,” Trump tweeted.

    That’s like sitting down with the people who burgled your house and collaborating on the security products you need so it doesn’t happen again.

    • TJ Barke

      Exactly. That’s either incredibly disingenuous or incredibly stupid. Or both.

      • theCryptofishist

        So, Vlad’s in the protection racket, also, too?

        • FukuiSanYesOta

          “Extortion and extermination” rather than protection, I’d argue, but effectively the same.

          • theCryptofishist

            Okay, So, Vlad’s in the “protection racket” also, too?

    • Left Coast Tom

      That’s like sitting down with the people who burgled your house and
      collaborating on the security products you need so it doesn’t happen
      again.

      Calling Darrell Issa…

  • Angry Red Bird DGAF

    The Wonkette quoting itsself in its own post. Very Meta.

    • puredog

      Happens alla time.

      • Angry Red Bird DGAF

        Sure. But this time they block quoted themselves.

  • FDRliberal

    Daily Beast: ‘South Park’ Has a Donald Trump Problem

    “in early September of last year once it became clear that Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton would be the two major party candidates. Parker joked that if he thought Libertarian candidate Gary Johnson had “any chance in hell” of winning, he would probably vote for him over “the giant douche and the turd sandwich.””

    Matt Stone and Trey Parker are two smug, privileged dude-bro turds who can go fuck themselves.

    • JMP

      The giant douche and turd sandwich idiocy; it was that very stupid episode of South Park that finally made me give up on that show. It was 2004, and to suggest that Bush and Kerry were equally bad was just appallingly false.

      • FukuiSanYesOta

        It’s still an amusing show, but that particular episode nearly did the same for me.

        • Wontium

          It seems like their satire had better targets in the old days but that might just be my nostalgia.

      • Resistance Fighter Astraea

        But an all too popular opinion at the time.

        • FukuiSanYesOta

          But his Swift Boat!

    • OrG

      Both sides do it has always been bullshit. While I would wish for the Democrats to move to the left (rethugs too!) to say are equally bad is fucking ridiculous.

    • Angry Red Bird DGAF

      They disguise their contempt for actual progressive politics with their humor. I wouldn’t be surprised to see them becoming more openly conservative the longer Trump is in office.

    • they’ve always been politically douchey. i think they consider themselves libertarians.

  • starfanglednut

    So Hillary colluded with the Russians to get herself defeated in the election? Now I am really and truly confused.

    • OrG

      Something something… personal responsibility… Something..

    • Chad Thundercock

      It’s true! Because someone who runs a properly-audited charitable foundation cannot make as much money as someone who is a parvenu charlatan whose entire business is now a money laundering operation for Russian scallywags.

      So, Hillary is obviously colluding with Trump.

      Connect the dots, sheeple.

    • Nasty Girl Brianna

      Obviously this bit of information is not meant for everyone else. This is for Trump’s supporters, who will totally 100% fall for it because they REALLY ARE THAT FUCKING STUPID.

  • The Librarian

    So I have to tweet “Brought to you by Secretary Clinton” in addition to “Brought to you by President Obama” every time the Trumps screw up/lie. Hmmmm, I wonder who’ll I need to add next?

    • Chad Thundercock

      That shithead peanut farmer what used to do presidenting and now builds houses for poor people. Man, what an asshole. He’s bound to be in on it.

  • Msgr_MΩment
    • Chad Thundercock

      As much as I like this, the UK, NI and Ireland seem to have been sharted out somewhere along the way.

      Probably to much applause by some of the other continents.

      edit: oh wait, there we are. We’re a bit of foot. Strictly not a continent, but it works.

      • Marion in Savannah

        Is that them at the back of the chicken foot?

        • Chad Thundercock

          You spotted it before me.

          • Marion in Savannah

            It’s a pattern recognition thing. I just see stuff like that most times.

          • Chad Thundercock

            Now I’m trying to find the Comoros Islands.

          • Marion in Savannah

            At the top? Where the neck joins the rest of the body? It’s kinda small to know for sure.

          • Chad Thundercock

            I only know the Comoros Islands for two things.

            One, they’re little, and they’re near Madagascar which has lemurs and sifakas and other things what are awesome. Also, there’s some stupid bullshit internecine terrorism going on, especially around Anjouan.

            Anyone can google lemurs and sifakas (I’d recommend the ring-tailed lemur).

            But Livingstone’s Fruit Bat! Who can argue with this?

            https://drscdn.500px.org/photo/40867592/q%3D80_m%3D1500/d74c6320e3bd5d44f128b074a7b7d446

          • Marion in Savannah

            He’s got Trump-colored eyes! Bats are cool —little mosquito eating machines. (Well, the rabies thing can be a concern…)

          • FukuiSanYesOta

            That little fellah is a fruit bat! Clue’s in the name!

            They’d have died out without a captive breeding program. Despite the Trump Eyes, I’d miss those chaps.

          • Marion in Savannah

            My dumb! The ones I’ve seen around here are insect eaters.

            About 35 years ago a bat got into our apartment in NYC. Finally got it to leave via the window, but it took a surprisingly long time for it to find the open window. Maybe it liked being on the ceiling? Thank the FSM the cats weren’t in the room at the time!

          • FukuiSanYesOta

            “Bats vs Cats – new, from the creators of Axe Cop!”

          • Maggielle

            Yeah, a bat flew in once where I was staying. I was so dumb. I turned a light on by the open window so it could find its way out. A light. The bat found its way out anyway.

          • One should be given sunglasses and named Rodrigo

          • sw19covfefe
          • FukuiSanYesOta

            You just like that middle finger. You’re not fooling me.

          • sw19covfefe

            He he! :p

          • Wontium

            Can you tell me where Greenland is? I can’t find it.

          • East Africa

          • Wontium

            Weird. I guess I’m used to the other cartographical. I could have sworn it was bigger.

    • Vecchioivan
    • SayItWithWookies

      Two hundred million years ago, that’s what the earth’s land masses looked like — a formation known to geologists as Panleghornia.

      • Msgr_MΩment

        I say, I say, well done. That deserves an extra long toot on the foghorn, son.

      • FukuiSanYesOta

        When dinosaurs roamed the earth!

        And now their only progeny are dumbass birds what we only shoot or eat.

        • Wontium

          Well dinosauria is a clade, so, technically these days dinosaurs are dumbass animals we only shoot and eat

          But the fact that the fastest living animal is a dinosaur that kills other dinosaurs mid-air is also true, so there’s that.

          • FukuiSanYesOta

            A fellow Linnaean! Pleased to meet you.

            Peregrines are amazing.

          • Wontium

            They are the BEST bird. And I’m a bit rusty but I used to find that stuff pretty interesting.

    • NotDarkYet
    • Bill D. Burger
    • jaspersdad

      What? Greenland melted?

      • Moebym Reborn

        Psst…look beneath Asia

        • jaspersdad

          Psst, that’s Antarctica.

          • Moebym Reborn

            Flip it upside down.

      • TootsStansbury

        It’s a chicken butt.

    • eyelashviper

      Best news in a looooooong time..
      Foghorn Leghorn is Gawd.

    • calliecallie

      Since this puts Michigan closer to Europe, I am in favor.

  • Resistance Fighter Astraea
    • Gary Charound

      I’m 1/2 way through season 2 and I’m totally hooked. Thank you for recommending it.

      • Resistance Fighter Astraea

        Glad you’re watching it! The plot gets a little crazy and is never the best aspect of the show but it’s just so much fun, and the characters are wonderful.

    • sw19covfefe

      I recently watched the first couple of episodes, but not really totally grabbed yet.
      I think having 5 seasons makes getting into it quite daunting (also why I still haven’t watched Breaking Bed)

      • Breaking Bad just blows by once you’re in. I did it a couple of Januaries ago

        • puredog

          I JUST FINALLY started watching “Better Call Saul,” after some critical heavy hitter (Emily Nussbaum? DNR) opined that it has gotten so good as to have surpassed BB. So far I am liking it. Someday I’ll also get around to Fargo, for similar reasons. Otherwise, I am pretty much on top of things.

          • Maggielle

            Emily Nussbaum is pretty damn trustworthy. I like her.

      • Resistance Fighter Astraea

        The seasons are so short though!

        If you don’t like the first two episodes, it’s probably not going to be your thing to be honest.

        • sw19covfefe

          Oh don’t get me wrong – I like it, and would be interested in subscribing to its newsletter at soem point in the future.
          To clarify: I was intrigued, rather than instantly grabbed. I wondered whether it was one of those “stay with it, because episode 6 will blow your mind” type affairs?

  • Bill D. Burger

    We need you now more than ever.

    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DET5CZYVoAAKfvv.jpg

  • Bill D. Burger
  • Bill D. Burger
  • Bill D. Burger
  • Riley Whodat Venable

    New Headline:

    Mob Connected NYC Real Estate Agent now connected to Russian Mob.

  • Bill D. Burger

    “Such an honor to see you my friend.”

    Oh gawwd’ NO….just NO!

    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DETsSbKXsAArygr.jpg

    http://i.imgur.com/2mbe2Z8.gif

  • jaspersdad
    • sw19covfefe

      I hear Ivanka and Jared are planning to do that with Donnie next trip.

      • maybe if they bring a forklift.

        • sw19covfefe

          Hey, I’m just the ideas guy!

  • TundraGrifter

    Remember when Mr. Trump said he’d met Mr. Putin? Then he said he hadn’t. Now he has.

    This is very difficult to keep up with.

    • miss_grundy

      It gets tiring that he keeps acting like he has never met him before. Putz!

      • Komsumverweigerer Ron

        I wonder if he’ll do that at their NEXT meeting.
        ‘Putin? Never met the man. But he’s said good things about me.’
        ‘Sir, you met him in July. It was on TV!’
        ‘Fake news!’

  • Alex Grey
    • jesterpunk

      Captain Jack libelz.

      • Agreed. Harkness would have used the Vortex Manipulator to stop this from happening

        • proudgrampa

          “Vortex Manipulator.”

          Is THAT what the kids are calling it these days…

  • Duke

    It’s OK people. Manafort has a serious interest in the well-bring of Russian orphans:

    They must be tender and juicy.

    • Bill D. Burger

      W.C. Fields: “Do I love children? Yes indeed. Lovem’ baked, boiled or fried.”

    • miss_grundy

      Or he is planning on making money through foreign adoptions.

  • PigsDoFly
  • Trump suggested forming a cyber security unit with Putin to ‘guard’ elections

    They’re really not trying to hide the fact Trump is working for Putin now, are they?
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/2d4e8fd64fe8dc0e7aaadb92f08145f070d85793d055b163cbaaa3f428e724a7.jpg?w=320&h=342

    • Kiri the Unicorn

      Does Alex Jones know about this?

    • miss_grundy

      Either that or they think the rest of us, like his supporters, are stupid.

  • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

    Finally got around to hanging up more stuff. I’m starting to run out of blank space on the bedroom walls.

    • FukuiSanYesOta

      It’s sad when you run out of wall space before you run out of dead kids.

  • Bill D. Burger

    What’s up with Trump’s “handjerking”? After almost dislocating the S. Korean leader’s shoulder in a weird grab and jerk move before departing theG20, he has a habit of dispensing the most awkward handshakes I’ve ever seen. They are now being called ‘hand jerks by a jerk.’

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T7U3iiMG-Y4

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      It’s a power move – it’s to assert that you are the weak and submissive one and Donnie Two Scoops is the manly man.

      • Bill D. Burger

        Loved it when Macron ‘iron gripped’ him (evidently having been forewarned) and left Donny’s lil’ digits red and swollen.

        • weejee

          Trudeau used the left hand on the shoulder foil.

          • Komsumverweigerer Ron

            He was too polite to crush Donnie’s fingers into paste.

        • miss_grundy

          Should have broken his tiny fingers to teach him a lesson without benefit of votes….

      • Resistance Fighter Astraea

        A weak man’s idea of a power move. Donnie is always trying too hard.

    • Canis Greyhame

      Not at all like his Putin handshake. That was the handshake of a man who’s been smitten in the presence of his real Dad.

  • weejee

    Rumor has it tRump is replacing Spicey this week. Warner Bros may sue.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/adc0c2a055cc718bd7c26590947a63a65abc9c56db9b339cf0d5bae5b953d275.gif

    • Bill D. Burger

      I think I’ve found his replacement. She trained Sarah Huckabee.

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eIuRO8E5FEI

      • Pax Americana Per Ars Smith

        Trained or practiced on?

        I’m sorry!

        • Bill D. Burger

          Don’t be. It’s quite applicable. ;)

  • jesterpunk

    RNC PR BS said the meeting happened but Uday is just too stupid to know who he met with and also its Hillary’s fault.

    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/trump-russia-lawyer_us_59624746e4b0615b9e922779?ncid=inblnkushpmg00000009

    • Komsumverweigerer Ron

      Well, he’s two for three, anyway.

  • BigCSouthside

    I bet trump jr will be popular in federal pound me in the ass prison

    • SeekingCovfefeBarbie

      If trump jr deserves to go to prison, I hope he goes. That said, this seems to come close to violating the Rules for non-commenters.

      • FukuiSanYesOta

        Yes it is. Prison rape is a big no-no.

        I’d love to see all these fucks in jail. Also, I know this is an “Office Space” reference.

        Very close to banhammer tho, IMHO.

  • Bill D. Burger

    Australian journalist Chris Uhlmann demolishes Trump after G20: ‘biggest threat to the west’

    Oh man…brutal. And spot on!

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rT3gVZS6Eq0

    • jaspersdad

      Kind of surprising considering the man’s a right wing hack.

      • Bill D. Burger

        Reminds me of Ted Cruz’ critique of Trump during the primaries (*and before returning to Baggerland in the Senate):

        “[Trump] is a pathological liar. He doesn’t know the difference between truth and lies. He lies practically every word that comes out of his mouth. And he had a pattern that I think is straight out of a psychology textbook. His response is to accuse everybody else of lying. He accuses everybody on that debate stage of lying, and it’s simply a mindless yell. Whatever he does, he accuses everyone else of doing. The man cannot tell the truth, but he combines it with being a narcissist. A narcissist at a level I don’t think this country has ever seen. Donald Trump is such a narcissist, that Barack Obama looks at him and goes, ‘Dude, what’s your problem?’ Everything in Donald’s world is about Donald. And he combines being a pathological liar, and I say pathological because I actually think Donald—if you hooked him up to a lie-detector pass, he could say one thing in the morning, one thing at noon, and one thing in the evening, all contradictory, and he’d pass the lie-detector test each time. Whatever lie he’s telling, at that minute he believes it, but the man is utterly a moron.
        “He is proud of being a serial philanderer … he describes his own battles with venereal diseases as his own personal Vietnam,” Cruz said, citing a decades-old Trump appearance on “The Howard Stern Show.”

        Both Cruz and Uhlmann may be rightie hacks, but the critiques are, again, spot on.

      • Résistance Land Shark Ω

        Even the right has figured this out. In the US, however, the right is attempting to use his incompetence to regress the country bigly.

      • sw19covfefe

        More like heartening. People like Ana Navarro and Rick Wilson know the score/can see the bigger picture.
        Conservative =/= Authoritarian

    • jesus. and so accurate.

  • Bill D. Burger
    • OutOfOrbit

      Not until every stone has been turned over and any evidence found there-under is duly investigated to the nth degree. That’s what I keep getting told.

  • Bill D. Burger
    • Left Coast Tom

      So, basically, the Russians called L’il Donnie a “cuckservative”?

    • miss_grundy

      More like Dolt rolled over and had Pootie rub his belly….

  • Bill D. Burger
  • PigsDoFly
    • Shanz’ a MONSTER!

      • OutOfOrbit

        Looks like they went right back to boinking after posting that one pic… What else would they be doing?

        • Bad Tom

          “If things turn MONSTROUS, boink.”
          There are worse policies.

    • OutOfOrbit

      You’ve falled over sideways & can’t get up cuz canned clams?

    • Ωbjectifier

      So that is what is so horrifying about her kitchen.

      • Komsumverweigerer Ron

        No wonder she was in such a panic.

    • FukuiSanYesOta

      Oh, come on, now.

      The next picture had better be of those in a woodchipper or something.

    • Pax Americana Per Ars Smith

      And you infected her with that sideways thing!

    • Komsumverweigerer Ron

      You monsters!

  • Bill D. Burger

    This man is the gold standard for class.

    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DEQq6RYXsAAhi2u.jpg

  • miss_grundy

    Mira, Naranjito comemierda–vete pa’ casa del carajo, coño!

    • OutOfOrbit

      Say wut?!

      • You should ice that burn

        I’ll try:
        “Look, Orange shit-eater, go to the fucking house, pussy!”

        • OutOfOrbit

          ok

          • You should ice that burn

            That is a VERY rough translation, some of those words I had to guess

          • OutOfOrbit

            good-nuff foh me

          • sw19covfefe

            Me too, also.

      • sw19covfefe

        Okay, watch me massacre spanglish!
        “Hey, Little Orange Shithead, get out of my house, cunt!”
        ?

        • OutOfOrbit

          ah

        • kareemachan

          I like your spanglish.

  • Bill D. Burger
    • You know, I’ve never noticed it before, but the White House is kinda shaped like a desk, isn’t it?

  • Bill D. Burger
  • Bill D. Burger
  • The Librarian

    NYT: Breaking News: Donald Trump Jr. was promised damaging information about Hillary Clinton before meeting with a Kremlin-connected lawyer in 2016.

    Hmmm, how did that morph into adoption? Maybe private “adoption”, for a fee?

    • And why would the Dems set up a meeting about that?

      • OrG

        All part of the plan to destroy america.

        • OrG

          P.S. it’s working.

      • The Librarian

        Well, what does the GOP clown car call it? A false flag operation?

        “It is unclear whether the Russian lawyer, Natalia Veselnitskaya, actually produced the promised compromising information about Mrs. Clinton. But the people interviewed by The Times about the meeting said the expectation was that she would do so.

        “n a statement on Sunday, Donald Trump Jr. said he had met with the Russian lawyer at the request of an acquaintance. “After pleasantries were exchanged,” he said, “the woman stated that she had information that individuals connected to Russia were funding the Democratic National Committee and supporting Ms. Clinton. Her statements were vague, ambiguous and made no sense. No details or supporting information was provided or even offered. It quickly became clear that she had no meaningful information.”

        • kareemachan

          “Pleasantries”

          I’ve always wondered about them…

    • Rick Hill

      “We will have this information for you. You will have a small…package. It was discussed beforehand. We will take this package in as if it were our own.”

    • ariel_gee_398

      “You know how in America you adopt highway? In Russia, we adopt political campaign. I can maybe help you?”

    • Obviously, the conversation turned to where Clinton was getting the babbies for the basement dungeon under the pizza parlor!

    • Thiazin Red

      So we’ve advanced a step down the scandal response tree.

      1. Deny it happened
      2. Admit it happened, but make up stupid excuse
      3. Admit stupid excuse was a lie, but try to say it was no bug deal
      4. But Obama/Clinton

      • The Librarian

        A twofer! This lapse in judgment on the part of Jr. is brought to you in part by Secretary Clinton and by President Obama.

  • William
    • OutOfOrbit

      He looks totally clueless there, or like he’s not there at all.

      • William
        • FukuiSanYesOta

          GNNNNGHHH

          I need a break. I still cannot parse that this fucking imbecile is President.

      • kareemachan

        He *isn’t* there at all.

        • sw19covfefe

          What with the wandering off without signing EO, right past limo parked at bottom of plane, and then standing outside bulletproof protection after speech in (Poland?). Clearly!

      • Resistance Fighter Astraea

        International travel probably isn’t good for dementia.

  • Andrew Rheinheimer
  • Rick Hill

    “I was asked to meet with them by an acquaintance. I did not know beforehand who it would be.”

    “One day, donald Jr. you will have a knock at your door. The person there, you will not know. You will do as she asks. You will not question why, you will just do it. Are you clear about this?”

  • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

    Trump: “Putin & I discussed forming an impenetrable Cyber Security unit so that election hacking, & many other negative things, will be guarded.”

    Colossus – The Forbin Project (1970) from IMDB: “Thinking this will prevent war, the US government gives an impenetrable supercomputer total control over launching nuclear missiles. But what the computer does with the power is unimaginable to its creators.” Eventually, the US supercomputer teams up with it Soviet counterpart and you just gotta see this movie. Like The Andromeda Strain far ahead of its time. The time is now and we are in serious freaking trouble if Trump and Putin get their way. You can view the movie on YouTube for free. Here’s the trailer.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cG7ij1Ft6lw

    • The Wanderer

      I’ve seen the movie, and I have D.F. Jones’ book Colossus. Both are appropriately chilling.

      • SisterArtemis

        Did NOT know it was a book – will have to go searching for it!

        • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

          I would say the movie is better than the book, which I also have. But hey, go for it!

          • The Wanderer

            The movie leaves out a few things, as movies are wont to do. It adds a bit more detail to flesh out the geopolitics of it all.

    • CripesAmighty

      Great flick. First saw it as a kid. Holds up brilliantly–just as thrilling (and relevant) today.

      • Bad Tom

        When Colossus wins at the end, there are some kids who have Colossus tee shirts. I wanted one instantly.

    • Bad Tom

      Two fond recollections from that film:

      1) When the Colossus control room is first unveiled, you can see that many, many IBM 1620 computer systems gave their lives to make this movie. Their control panels are very distinctive.

      I taught myself to program on an IBM 1620, when I was in high school way back in 1974. That computer was designed the year I was born (1958) by my future boss at IBM, Nat Rochester.

      2) When Colossus interacts with humans, (before it gets a voice at the end of the film,) it uses a big CRT. It always prompts the user by printing:

      READY

      Yes. Colossus was apparently programmed in BASIC.

  • Ok. Have packed: books from shelves, office stuff, non-daily bathroom stuff, most art from the walls, board games, movies, and 1/3 of my non-daily kitchen stuff. Still need to stuff a suitcase full of fall and winter coats and hardcore pack the rest of the kitchen. Plus a major garbage run

    • Marion in Savannah

      Courage! This too shall pass… Sounds like you’ve gotten a lot done.

    • FukuiSanYesOta

      Sounds like a time for a few drinks and a Wonkette posting bender to me.

    • OutOfOrbit

      ?!?!

    • I don’t envy you a bit. I hate packing to move.

      • kareemachan

        I find it nice to weed out shit you will never use – but then, I’m getting older and ‘find less is more’ a good thing.

        • DrBigHead

          I have fantasies about renting a roll-off dumpster, emptying the house and starting over. We moved into our current house 20 years ago, and there are a few boxes in our storage shed we still have not unpacked.

    • Komsumverweigerer Ron

      I wish I were in a position to help, but right now I’m not sure I could find my feet, never mind your building. Plus it’s tres difficult to lift boxes one-handed.

      • It’s all good! Get better, i’ve got movers

        • Komsumverweigerer Ron

          Damn. There is a GREAT joke here but I am too much the gentlecolt to say it.

    • Bill D. Burger

      ” It’s irresponsible not to make packing a drinking game! “‘
      ___ Amy Schumer

      https://s3.amazonaws.com/lowres.cartoonstock.com/property-moving_house-moving_home-moving_out-packer-removal-cwln2105_low.jpg

  • RobKanC

    So watching Inglorious Basterds. Man that movie is like a Nazi killing porn.

  • William
    • Jennifer R

      Hey, shoes I DON’T feel envy over not being in my size. Goddamn today is just full of miracles.

      • Those are pretty hideous. They probably cost a fortune.

        • Komsumverweigerer Ron

          Or she got ’em off Ivanka. Hideous knock-offs at bargain prices!

  • Jennifer R

    It is telling that so many libertarians are unimpressive white guys who have spent their whole lives in CA, WA. or CO.

  • Bill D. Burger

    LMAO
    Guess Assad is low on ammo and is waiting for Russian military supplies.
    (*This fucking idiot thinks he’s gotten a Syrian ceasefire because of his meeting with Putin)

    https://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/884142582191849474

    http://37.media.tumblr.com/22dc13c72ed49d9f303388f8c7c1caba/tumblr_n4s62ghkeR1tq4of6o1_500.gif

    • amrak63

      President Dunning-Kruger.

      Again, Tsar Vladimir would like to thank the Stupid White Folks of Real Murka for making it so much easier for him to realize his goals.

    • RobKanC

      Putin clearly assured him that it was because of Herr. Drumpf the ceasefire was possible.. Not because of that Obama person.

    • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

      the ceasefire agreed to less than 48 hours ago?

      Yikes.

    • commatoes

      People forget that while Russia has a large military, they are running out of money. With low oil prices, their GDP has shrunk so much that it is comparable to one of the EU member states and lower than Italy or Canada

      • sw19covfefe

        IIRC It is/was around the same size as Germany. Or California.

        • commatoes

          It was before. But a 66% drop in one your main revenue sources has a huge impact on the bottom line. IIRC, California, if it was a country would rank in the top 10 if not the top 5. Canada is a member of the G8 purely because they have been historically.

        • aktlib101

          It’s (pathetic !) less than Canada or S. Korea. Check the numbers, hehe

    • bupkus231

      Actually, there was a cease-fire agreed to – only not in the area where much of the fighting is happening. Apparently, a “partial” ceasefire in southwestern Syria, near the Jordanian border was announced this morning:

      Link: https://www.reuters.com/article/us-mideast-crisis-syria-ceasefire-idUSKBN19S2DG

      The Reuters report makes it sound as this ceasefire had not involved either the Syrian government or the Syrian rebels operating in that region. Nor does it involve Iran – which is said to have been moving Shi’a militias into the region, perhaps to set up a Hezbollah-style org on the Jordanian border;….

      Sounds like Rump is ( once agaon ) tooting an empty horn….

  • CountryClubJihadi
  • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

    a couple i know adopted from russia years back – apparently there was much money (bribery) involved, even post-Soviet era.

  • Bill D. Burger

    Shorter version of Trump’s tweets: I asked Putin if Russia cyber-attacked USA and he said no. I believe him.
    So why didn’t Obama act on what I don’t think happened. Huh? Answer me that.

    Goddamn, this fuckwad is just mindbendingly stupid.

    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DES2KK4XoAAH1sI.jpg

    • RobKanC

      The last one is valid. He should have jailed the idiots committing treason. Instead we go this. Thanks Obama.

      • McConnell wouldn’t let him.

        • RobKanC

          He should have sent the drones, with votes ofc.

      • amrak63

        Obama is no fighter. He’s Barack Chamberlain Obama.

        The Malefactors of Great Wealth realized in 2008 that the Chimperial Cheney Assministration had screwed not one pooch, but the whole kennel of pooches, in positions Dr. Ruth never heard of. This meant they were going to get a Democratic President next time, unless they rigged the system beyond the point of plausible deniability, with unpredictable results among the hoi polloi.

        They realized they were going to get either Obama or HRC, so they compared and contrasted the two, and decided that Obama was more naive and less of a fighter, so he would be more likely to let them escape the financial consequences of their causing the Great Recession.

        Therefore, they bought influence in the Democratic Party and used their existing influence over the Corporate Media to throw the primaries to Obama–and for the most part, Prez Obama did let them escape the consequences of their folly and greed.

        Were the positions reversed–with Hillary as the incumbent Prez and Obama as the Democratic candidate in 2016–I can’t imagine Hillary not bringing Hunter Thompson’s Million Pound Shithammer down on the GOP and its Russian owners.

        Selah.

    • Apple Scruff

      Those time gaps between the tweets kill me — I imagine him sitting on the throne, typing out a tweet, then taking a 6-7 minute break the push one out before he continues with the next one.

    • William

      …and He wants to team up with Russia to go after hackers….which is like teaming up with Hitler to build a Synagogue

      • Bill D. Burger

        Or Jack the Ripper to save prostitutes.

        • Bad Tom

          Well.. there will be fewer prostitutes afterwards.

      • Panika MCD

        the way I read it, he wants to team up with Russia to guard and keep the hackers safe. read it again.

        • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

          Syntax, how does it work?

          • Panika MCD

            it’s an awful mistress. probably an HRC set up!

    • Ryan Denniston

      Coming from The Donald, I surmise he looks forward to being repeatedly penetrated. Look who he nominated for head of the EPA.

    • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

      Think the CIA and NSA patriotic nerds are having apoplectic fits over this?

      • Komsumverweigerer Ron

        TBH, I’m thinking there’s a few ‘wetwork’ operatives who are having to be physically restrained from… expressing their displeasure about Two Scoops’ actions last week.

      • Kiri the Unicorn

        CIA + NSA + Pentagon (maybe) = Our First Military Coup (maybe)

        • bupkus231

          At the rate the Rump admin and the Republican Congress are going, I’m beginning to think a military coup would be a fine idea….

          There’s a punchline here, but damned if I can remember it…

    • Panika MCD

      he wants to guard those who hack into our elections? and why would the CIA and FBI need the DNC server? I would think that would be called “spying on Americans”. no?

  • The Wanderer

    The best answer to the last spin (it’s all Clinton’s fault!) is simple: Cui bono? Who stood to benefit from Russian meddling in our electoral process? Up until October, Clinton could have won.

    But instead we have the High Cash White Trash Trump Crime Family.

    • RobKanC

      But Clinton won. She has unleashed a idiot monster over the US.

      • The Wanderer

        That’s an . . . interesting . . . way of looking at it. My take on it is that this asshole, his hideous spawn, and his retrograde minions will do so much damage that, like Asimov’s Mule, it will take decades to correct.

        • amrak63

          I like the analogy, but unfortunately in this case, the Second Foundationers (the masters of psychological manipulation) are working with the Mule.

          Also, the Mule was brilliant. I could better believe Putin as the Mule than Trump.

          Hey, that’s it–in our world, Putin is the Mule, and he heads the Second Foundation.

          The Russkies won the Cold War, after all.

  • Bill D. Burger

    Andy from Arkansas puts the Russian collusion and hacking thingy’ to rest once and for all.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mAEpK2Abm4w

  • Lance Thrustwell

    Afternoon, openthreaders. Having a pre-prandial cocktail and enjoying my Sunday. Hope y’all are too.

    In the fac

    • Left Coast Tom

      There’s enough Alaska Sockeye available that my local Whole Foods has a pretty good sale. So, I’d go with delicious sockeye.

      • Lance Thrustwell

        Hm. Thanks! I’ll look. I’m on the opposite coast, but maybe a similar export/availability situation.

    • Komsumverweigerer Ron
    • Raan

      I’m with the rest of your family on this issue.

    • Kiri the Unicorn

      Fish, but only if it’s vegan.

    • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

      A nice salmon, with a little tarragon, egg noodles, and asparagus? A chilled glass of pinot grigio?

      • eyelashviper

        Hold the tarragon, I hate tarragon.
        Otherwise, I’m in!

        • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

          A little goes a long way, that’s for sure–and fresh is a whole different flavor from dried! But lots of delish ways to make a nice salmon. How do you like it?

          • eyelashviper

            Grilled, baked, steamed, anyway…salmon is my favorite fish.

  • Bill D. Burger

    Betty Bowers has the final word on ‘the meeting’!

    https://twitter.com/BettyBowers/status/884047051989934080

    • The Wanderer

      Lube, and perseverance.

      • Bill D. Burger

        rotfl…..and ewwww!

      • Ryan Denniston

        also too a blindfold and whatever the opposite of orange spraytan is.

        • Bad Tom

          Blindfolds on both sides. For security reasons.

      • Msgr_MΩment

        Heh! Lube and a lollipop. Or just two lollipops.

      • Kiri the Unicorn
      • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

        I swear, I’m absolutely convinced the pee hookers are nothing, the tapes actually show Trump getting it from behind from a big muscular Russian mob guy and enjoying it. And a close up of his micro peen. Stuff that would seem utterly world-destroying to his public fantasy of himself. Pee hookers is nothing.

        • amrak63

          As Our Lady of Perpetual Inebriation would say, it would be irresponsible not to speculate…

  • WIDTAP

    NYT now saying the agenda for the meeting was dirt on Clinton.

    Naughty, naughty WH Leakers! How dare you say that Trump JR, Kush and Manafort were trying to get the Ruskie good on Hills, and only went to poor Ruskie orphans after the lawyer had no pee tapes of Hillary.

    https://www.nytimes.com/2017/07/09/us/politics/trump-russia-kushner-manafort.html

    • Ryan Denniston

      See, if I were Putin and hated US America as much as he does, my agenda for the meeting would be dirt on Trump.

      • WIDTAP

        As a lawyer, you know you are in trouble when Donny Jr. tells you “Pics or GTFO”

      • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

        He already has all the dirt on Trump he needs. The blithering cretin gave it to him, because he flattered his pathetic malignant narcissistic ego.

      • Msgr_MΩment

        Well, apparently he picked up some nifty blackmail fodder on Trump’s campaign (now worthless) simply by having those bozos show up.

    • jesterpunk

      Wait so Hillary set up the meeting so Russia could help Republicans get help with smearing Hillary? Is that their story?

      • amrak63

        If I understand them correctly, yes.

        Hey, the people they’re trying to convince are the kinds of people who think Adam and Eve rode dinosaurs and the National Enquirer publishes the truth.

      • WIDTAP

        That Hillary! Always playing 11th dimensional chess.

  • Bill D. Burger
  • memzilla Ω

    “President Trump’s eldest son, Donald Trump Jr., was promised damaging information about Hillary Clinton before agreeing to meet with a Kremlin-connected Russian lawyer during the 2016 campaign… The accounts of the meeting represent the first public indication that at least some in the campaign were willing to accept Russian help.”

  • Bill D. Burger
    • amrak63

      The sad fact is that they WILL love him for it, or at least excuse him.

      • therblig

        because it’ll “piss off them libruls!” dumb fucks.

        • amrak63

          Seriously, if they thought the thing that would make us cry and/or piss us off more than anything else in the whole wide world was if they all stuck their wedding tackle in blenders and pushed “Liquefy”, the emergency rooms would be overloaded with self-gelded wingnuts.

          • therblig

            ok. how do we make that happen? billboards? social media? word of mouth? it would solve a lot of future stupidity.

          • amrak63

            Even if I could figure out how to do it, I would not risk the disapproval of the Proprietor of the afterlife by doing that.

            I want my 72 anime girls too badly.

            (oops, wrong Abrahamic faith) ;)

          • amrak63

            If I messed up, I might get them, but they’d all be tsunderes and yanderes.

      • Alex Grey

        Are you implying this won’t make America great?

  • Wild Cat
  • Bill D. Burger
  • Bill D. Burger

    Don Jr.: “Oh, won’t someone think of the babies?”
    bwwwwahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

    https://twitter.com/BettyBowers/status/883801359010725888

  • Bill D. Burger

    “Ivanka sat in for Daddy at G20 & did nothing. Naomi Campbell sat in for Theresa May, threw some phones & got several Climate Change signatures!”

    _______Betty Bowers, America’s Best Christian

  • Bill D. Burger

    Donald Trump Jr.‏Verified account
    @DonaldJTrumpJr

    Donald Trump Jr.
    If the left is so “outraged” about Ivanka sitting in for a few minutes, maybe they’d be happier if I sub in for a while??? LMK 🇺🇸 #MAGA

    Best reply:

    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DEOjyvEUMAAH9jj.jpg

    • TJ Barke

      I like how they’re calling basic Americans that care about fucking proper protocol and not allowing this whole bullshit family to run our country “the left”

      • amrak63

        Not to mention not allowing motherfucking Mommie Dearest Russia to run our country.

        Again, the GOP has become the Treason Party.

    • Kiri the Unicorn

      YA BURNT.

    • Ryan Denniston

      Definitely a 4. Would not recommend!

  • ariel_gee_398

    If we were trying, could we have elected a worse group of grifting degenerates than the Trump clan?

    • Komsumverweigerer Ron

      Palins? Nah, prolly not.

      • ariel_gee_398

        Only Bristol seems to be infected with mom’s unique blend of idiocy and thirst. But this group, to a one, are just the same brand of awful.

        • alwayspunkindrublic

          That’s only because Truck, or Trog, or Troll-whatever the fuck his name is-is too busy getting wasted and slapping around his girlfriend to grift full time.

          • OrG

            Griftin’ ain’t easy.

        • Panika MCD

          Willow is the only one that I know of that might turn out okay.

          • Amalga

            There may still be hope for Piper.

      • Panika MCD

        the Palins wish they were that good at grifting.

    • WIDTAP

      Oh how soon they forget the original Sarah “Grift ’til You Drop” Palin

      • kareemachan

        Well, she’s *tried* to make herself relevant again…

    • amrak63

      No.

      This has been another edition of “Simple Answers”.

      (Oopsie, wrong blog.)

    • Bill D. Burger
    • Ryan Denniston

      Remember, Ryan, McConnell, and frankly the whole lot of them in Congress are abetting this shit.

      • amrak63

        The GOP has become the Treason Party.

        Abe Lincoln and Teddy Roosevelt must be spinning so fast in their graves that we could use them to power the Eastern Seaboard.

      • ariel_gee_398

        Absolutely, and they get their share of blame. But how many kids commit treason to advance their father’s ambition, while also potentially covering up his dementia?

        • Mr. Blobfish

          I committed treason for a bag of weed. Don’t judge me. I was 32.

          • puredog

            Just so long as it was righteous weed, you’ll get no judging here.

        • alwayspunkindrublic

          What people will do to not get cut out of the will, yeah?

      • OrG

        Co-conspirators.

      • Mr. Blobfish

        Ted Fucking Cruz pretended to stand up to Trumpism at the convention. McConnell is now giving him two different bills scored by the CBO, which they will declare false and written by Hillary supporters.

    • Kiri the Unicorn
      • alwayspunkindrublic

        Only difference is that they aren’t running the country. Yet.

        • Rags

          You think not?

    • Bebecca

      Seriously I don’t think a worse group exists, possibly the KKK or maybe the Bundys?

  • Everrett Fanuelli

    Hey we’ve all been there. Asked to attend meetings with unnamed people about unknown things.

    • Kiri the Unicorn

      Happens in adult bookstores all the time…

  • Kakariki
    • akryan

      yeah, that’s gone pretty viral. I guess he’s a right wing reporter as far as Australia goes too.

      • Panika MCD

        but “right wing” in Australia is still actually conservative–not fascism with a flag lapel pin and tea bags stapled to tri-cornered hats.

  • alwayspunkindrublic
    • Bill D. Burger
      • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

        I love these so much. And then there’s always Cooper and the ice cream cone, too: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tHvExOg4NI0

        • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

          okay, that was funny.

          You have to wait for it.

          • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

            Right? I died laughing the first time I saw it, and honestly can watch it over and over.

          • Panika MCD

            not sure if any of these are for paralegals, but it’s worth a shot:

            https://lawyerscommittee.org/career-opportunities/

      • puredog

        This video long predates my association with the Wonketariat, and I have to assume it has made the rounds here, or that most Wonketeers are familiar with it otherwise, but still, must post: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wKXOLPmfr6k

    • Me not sure

      I think that I see where you leading her with this and it’s monstous. SHAME!

    • Panika MCD

      “PRINCESS DOGS UNITE!” ~ Calliope Jane

      “pee ess: is that bacon flavors?”

    • Mr. Blobfish

      Who’s a good girl?

    • OutOfOrbit

      “Sharing”? You know where that tongue’s been, Right?

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        I recently scolded my brother for allowing his cats up on the kitchen counter as food was being prepared. He retorted with “well, you share popsicles with your dog.” I’m like, yeah, I do, but I don’t make YOU eat them either.

  • Relativicus

    This “Hillary Clinton colluded with the Russians to sabotage her own campaign and get Trump elected” thing is really starting to cook, and we haven’t even gotten to the separate House and Senate investigations. Add in a heaping helping of Loretta Lynch, spice it with Vince Foster’s corpse, and voila! 40-odd percent of Americans will soon know the “truth.”

    • ariel_gee_398

      This is what happens when people get their information from Alex Jones.

      • BadKitty904

        “people”. “information”.

    • Panika MCD

      people are very reticent to admit that they’ve been conned.

    • BadKitty904
    • Ryan Denniston

      It’s eleventydimensional chess. For you see, by 2020, there will be a second supreme court up for nomination, which is totally more important than the first. Also, 2020 is a census year, and we all know how important controlling the presidency is to redrawing districts.

    • Lyly Sirivong

      Why go for the simpler explanation when you can go for something complicated and illogical ?

  • Panika MCD
    • Me not sure

      The health department should require that be posted by the door.

      • Panika MCD

        they went there. found the baby dressed and the other 3 watching TV. seems like they’re going to have to go “operation secret shopper”.

        • Me not sure

          I wonder how these folks would feel if I walked in wearing nothing but a t-shirt and a pair of Hush Puppies, and ordered the daily special.

        • alwayspunkindrublic

          Watching tv? How un-revolutionary.

          • Panika MCD

            I know. their poor little vegan minds are going to be brainwashed!

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            I’d pay money to know what they were watching.

          • Panika MCD

            bacon commercials.

          • Bozilingus

            I thought the Revolution would be televised.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      butthole free?

      So how do they do number two? Vegan or not, it’s gotta happen eventually…

      • Panika MCD

        not on the table, that’s for sure!

  • Mr. Blobfish

    Yesterday, Dec. 7, 1941 – a date which will live in infamy – the United States of America was suddenly and deliberately attacked by naval and air forces of the Hillary Clinton.

    • RobKanC

      Obama*. FTFY

      • Ryan Denniston

        They colluded with each other and the Russians.

      • ariel_gee_398

        Women and black folks, working together to subvert the cherished American values of patriarchy and white supremacy. This will not stand.

        • Msgr_MΩment

          …, man!

    • amrak63

      If, Ascended Madoka forbid, Trump had been president then, the descendants of the survivors would be saluting the Swastika or the Rising Sun.

      Or the Hammer and Sickle, if the Soviet Union were capable of beating the Axis solo–for if that were the case, nothing would have stood in Stalin’s way.

      • Mr. Blobfish

        No one knows who bombed Pearl Harbor. Could have been the Japanese. Maybe the Samoans. Maybe a 400lb. guy in the basement in Jersey.

    • Jo Mathie

      She totally booked up all the hotels – let’s check her emails (or Obama’s, what’s the difference at this point?)

    • Msgr_MΩment

      So it wasn’t the Germans?

    • TJ Barke

      August 24 1814, the forces of Hillary Clinton set fire to Washington DC…

      • Three Finger Salute

        Blame Hillary Rotten Canada!

    • Me not sure

      “I am hereby requesting that Congress declare that there will be no pizza parlor child slavery for the duration of hostilities.”

    • Panika MCD

      May 18, 1980: HRC blew up all over Western Washington.

      • Left Coast Tom

        October 17, 1989: HRC postponed the third game of the World Series by destroying the Cypress Structure (I-880), the Embarcadero Freeway (the former I-480), and downtown Santa Cruz.

        Destroying the Embarcadero Freeway, thus opening up the San Francisco waterfront, would be considered the only positive amongst that list.

        • amrak63

          Hillary is the real killer of Nicole Simpson and that poor dude who was just in the wrong place at the wrong time.

        • amrak63

          Osama bin Laden was really Hillary in reverse drag, and the Navy buried Vince Foster’s corpse at sea as a substitute for “bin Laden”.

          I heard it on Alex Jones–it must be true!

          • amrak63

            And Hillary just had me whacked for revealing that.

            I wonder how long I’ll be able to post as a zombie before my hands fall off?

    • April 18, 1906: Hillary Rodham Clinton shakes the city of San Francisco, destroying most of the structures and causing major conflagrations throughout the town. Historian speculate she did this because Enrico Caruso had an original copy of John Podesta’s risotto recipe. In a rare failure of the Clinton Death Machine, Caruso survived, but apparently his copy of the recipe was destroyed.

      • Left Coast Tom

        At least she saved Hotaling’s Whiskey!

        If, as they say, God spanked the town
        For being over-frisky,
        Why did He burn His churches down
        And spare Hotaling’s whiskey?

        Linky

    • Resistance Fighter Astraea

      Hillary wrote the last two seasons of Lost.

      • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

        i like this idea:

        “Hillary told me Neegan killed Glen.”

    • Perkniticky

      Somebody has to make a comic book. There aren’t enough female supervillains, and Hillary would be perfect.

      • amrak63

        Back in the 1990s, an also-ran superhero comic called Prime had a storyline in which a renegade general who wanted to take over the USA brought the sleazy, evil Bill Clinton of a parallel Earth over to the comic book’s Earth, in order to replace the “real” BC with his evil doppelganger.

        The general, who was a horndog like both BCs (and the real world’s BC), was disappointed that he could not bring “Evil Hillary” as well. I guess “Evil Hillary” tarted herself up in a way the real one would not.

        • Perkniticky

          Sounded interesting so I did a google search – with the result of which I now know they have made a graphic novel of Clinton Cash. The rightwing ruin everything they touch.

  • armed_bears

    No recipe today, so I am unable to post:

    This seems like a great summer recipe, butt is it vegan?

  • BadKitty904

    Russia launches a highly successful attack on the United States, with the Republican Party’s collaboration, and Hilary Clinton is somehow the culprit. OK, got it.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      I’m not buying it. I blame Obama.

      • BadKitty904

        Same thing.

        • Zippy W Pinhead

          It’s only a matter of time until the portmanteau is born- Hillama

          • amrak63

            Here’s a Hillama
            There’s a Hillama
            And another little Hillama
            Fuzzy Hillama
            Funny Hillama
            Hillama Hillama Duck

            http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/flash/llama

          • Three Finger Salute

            Hillama — Really whoops the Orangutan’s ASS!

          • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

            Probably better than Oballery, although it seems to work, too.

          • BadKitty904

            Catchier than “Oton”.

          • amrak63

            Mr. Chekov, arm Oton Torpedoes!

          • BadKitty904

            lol

          • Three Finger Salute

            What’s the Justin and Emmanuel portmanteau? “Trucron” is awkward and sounds like George W trying to say “crouton”.

          • BadKitty904

            Sounds like something manufactured by Monsanto.

  • Panika MCD
    • WAT?

      • Panika MCD

        celebrating one of our old school venues that happens to be also too a BBQ place is just rude. and I’m not sure how I feel about resurrecting Liberty Lunch as the solution.

        • Well, its a historic name that will still resonate with the locals, but McCormick telling them that they can’t use their own name? That’s just wrong.

          • Panika MCD

            the swindlers! Bamz ate there also too–though it was during the day on a weekday so he didn’t get to see any of the shows.

        • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

          liberty lunch was a punk rock venue back in my day – one that closed I thought?

    • Rags

      I like ‘ Butts’ and I cannot lie.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      in all fairness, Stubbs is a pretty good store bought BBQ sauce

      • Panika MCD

        an Stubb’s is a legendary venue!

        • Zippy W Pinhead

          until I read the article, I assumed they were the same

          • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

            i fucking hope they are. (The trick at Stubbs is not to use the bbq sauce at the table, ask them to bring a bowl of the stuff that’s warmed up in the kitchen. People hate on Stubbs, but I liked that place – it was expensive though.)

          • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

            ah, here it is:
            “Both the Stubb’s sauces/rubs and the venue/restaurant started in the same place, with the original Stubb’s, started by C.B. ‘Stubb’ Stubblefield who began in Lubbock, TX but relocated to Austin in 1984, selling BBQ at Antone’s. He then opened his own restaurant which closed in the late ’80s. Stubblefield started selling bottled BBQ sauce in 1994 via a new company called Stubb’s Legendary Kitchen. Stubblefield died in 1995 and Stubb’s restaurant/venue reopened at 801 Red River in 1996 with an “oral license” (see the quoted article above) to use the name.”

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    My first day off in 3 weeks. Took my mom for huevos rancheros at an old school joint on the southside…one of those places where people take their abuelita to eat after Mass, everyone knows each other, and the conversations around you switch back and forth from Spanish to English in mid-sentence. It felt like my childhood.

    • Panika MCD

      why only little grandmothers?

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        they shrink with age…

    • BadKitty904
      • OutOfOrbit

        Cat with thumbs! The end times are HEAR!

    • DirtyHippyLiberal

      Old school joints on the southside are the best joints.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        Right? Huevos rancheros and street tacos are two things white people seem to think can be improved upon by serving them in upscale yuppie bistros and quadrupling the price.

        • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

          i tell white friends there are keys to finding the best mexican food joints outside of hispanic communities.
          1) note and appreciate the presence of any velvet paintings of la virgin de guadalupe, the aztec guy holding the woman in his arms, and/or cock fights.
          2) Check to see if horchata is served
          3) Uhhhh….see if a bunch of mexican-american people are eating there.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            Cockfighting isn’t a thing here, thank God, but definitely all the other stuff. This place is definitely not on the gringo cultural bucket list.

          • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

            as I noted the other day, white ladies wearing chili pepper earrings are a bad sign.

            (But seriousl, sounds like a great day!)

    • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

      nice sunday!
      (seriously, come visit us – it’s like that every day around here!)

      I was driving past the park to get beer, all the families were out playing sunday soccer.

  • TJ Barke

    Is anybody else seeing this “lurker” turd?

    • jesterpunk

      Yes, they look like A IDIOT.

      • TJ Barke

        They is. Typical republican traitor based on the commenting history.

    • Just noticed it. Very unimaginative.

  • BadKitty904
    • Three Finger Salute

      “Low-Energy Franklin! Look at this guy in a wheelchair, he’s like hurr durr, uh, I’m in a wheelchair, everybody look at me!

      Low-IQ Donnie! Look at this idiot in a golf cart, he’s like hurr durr, uh, I’m in a golf cart, everybody look at me — OR ELSE!

  • Zippy W Pinhead

    I didn’t do it

    OK I did it, but I had forgotten- honest mistake

    Even if I did it, it’s not wrong to do

    Everyone else did it too

    The Dems made me do it and/or did it first

    This routine would be funny if it weren’t for the fact that nearly half the voters in this country fall for this shit EVERY SINGLE TIME

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      #6: I did it for the CHILDREN!

      • Msgr_MΩment

        I believe the children are our future.

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        just like Newt’s serial adultery was because he loves Murica so much!

        • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

          how that didn’t end with him being frog marched out of public life forever as a disgrace is beyond me.

          • Zippy W Pinhead

            IOKIYAR

            same as always

    • aktlib101

      Gawd’s will

    • BadKitty904

      A long as the Dems let the GOP control the narrative, it will continue. Especially given the Republican’s massive – and growing – propaganda machine, e.g., FOX “News” and the other media outlets the Reich-wing is steadily buying up.

      • BeachBum

        We are in for our own Dark Ages for a while. Except this time when we get out of them, the rest of the world will be ahead.

        • BadKitty904

          From world leader, to third-world contender in one generation, thanks to the Banana-republicans.

        • Three Finger Salute

          I for one welcome our Canadian hologram overlords.

    • Resistance Fighter Astraea

      They fall for it because they want to.

    • BigCSouthside

      They will vote for anything if it pisses off liberals. Fox and Rush made us enemies of the state

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        Sadly, this is true- the party crossed over to the dark side and embraced eliminationism. It’s no longer good enough to prevail on an issue or even to win an election, they hate our very existence.

        And then the hypocritical assholes get all butthurt when we start hating them back…

      • Three Finger Salute

        First they came for the MSNBC viewers…

    • BadKitty904
      • BoatOfVelociraptors

        Not Narcissistic enough…

        • BadKitty904

          Nor accompanied by NEAR enough lies and finger-pointing.

    • WIDTAP
  • aktlib101

    OT: Best news, evah ! /s. For a Sunday evening.
    “Messy, always late and swear like a sailor? It just means you’re super smart”
    https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2017/jul/09/messy-always-late-and-swear-like-a-sailor-it-just-means-youre-super-smart

    “A deep-seated need to feel good about our bad behaviour has given rise to a thriving genre of pop science that regularly explains how what you thought was terrible about you is actually terrific. The latest example of this is a recent study by Italian researchers suggesting regularly chomping chocolate helps memory and counteracts cognitive decline.”

    “Take, for example, a 2009 study by British researchers entitled “Why Night Owls are More Intelligent”, which posits: “More intelligent children are more likely to grow up to be nocturnal adults who go to bed late and wake up late on both weekdays and weekends.” Apparently, this is explained by evolution. Since electricity is a relatively new invention, humans have developed ingrained early-to-bed instincts. Staying up late, then, is “evolutionary novel” behaviour that means you’re more likely to win in life.”

    “Cleanliness may be next to godliness, but messiness is next to geniusness. A 2013 study from the University of Minnesota found mess makes you more creative. According to the study: “Disorderly environments seem to inspire breaking free of tradition, which can produce fresh insights. ”

    “Does your lateness and your lie make you a bad person? No, according to experts, it does not. Rather, per psychologist Dr Linda Sapadin, persistent lateness can come from “an obsessive thinking problem”; you are not late because you don’t care, you are late because you care too much and overthink situations. ”

    “Basically, a proclivity for profanities doesn’t mean you’re a bloody idiot. It just means you have a large and colourful vocabulary.” <– see, Donald Trump is a pure genius !

    "The study, entitled “Enjoying Trash Films: Underlying Features, Viewing Stances, and Experiential Response Dimensions” noted: “The majority of trash film fans appear to be well-educated cultural ‘omnivores’, and they conceive of their preference for trash films in terms of an ironic viewing stance.”

    "I was thinking of a brilliant way to finish this article but then I procrastinated by watching Sharknado for the fifth time. But that’s OK because certain studies say that procrastination is a sign of perfectionism."

    The more you know.

    • BadKitty904

      Messy, always late and swear like a sailor?” Well, now that you mention it…

    • Doug Langley

      Okay, I made it, had to kick my dirty laundry out of the way. Wait, did I miss it again? Goddamn fucking shit!!!

    • BeachBum

      My evolutionary contribution to the species is being able to take off my underwear and catch it in the air. Also being able to change among 100 tee vee channels in the dark with looking at the remote. My cat is impressed. Well, he doesn’t actually SAY so, but I’m sure he is.

    • Three Finger Salute

      I call fail on this study. My aunt is a hoarder and procrastinator who abhors change, is a holier-than-thou hypocrite and won’t even say the word “underwear.” She watches only three TV channels: Fox News, the Inspiration Network (some kind of Christian thing that plays reruns of Chuck Norris and The Waltons), and MeTV (but only the 1950s shows because MTM, MASH, etc. are too risqué). She worked in a library for years but hates to read.

      When justifying why she voted Trump instead of Clinton, her response was that she didn’t like Bill. Why didn’t she like Bill? Because “remember when he said, he didn’t have a relationship with that girl.” (Pussygrabbing was apparently not as big of a deal, let alone saying the word “pussy” because at least the Republicans were going to stop “those other marriages.” She won’t even say the word gay, even if it’s someone’s name. See also: “the guy who sang No Mountain High Enough,” a Marvin something or other.)

      She voted Huckabee in 2012 because Chuck Norris endorsed him. How much does she hate change? She wouldn’t get rid of the rotary phone until the government discontinued rotary service. Still refuses to get an answering machine. Change is not something that she believes in. And she doesn’t curse. But try and throw away any of the moldy newspapers in the garage, and boy will she shout at the top of her Huckabeeing lungs.

  • Apple Scruff

    THANK GOD nobody in the Trump family (or administration) is smart enough to know how to keep a simple story straight. Amateurs, every last one of them.

    • TJ Barke

      Unfortunately their drooling simpleton supporters will believe fucking anything.

      • Apple Scruff

        Not Mueller, though.

        • puredog

          That Mueller basket has got ALL of my eggs.

      • amrak63

        Exactly. They don’t need to be skilled liars.

  • bookish
    • BadKitty904
    • Canis Greyhame

      GOP will find this concerning, perhaps even troubling.

      • Pax Americana Per Ars Smith

        They will speak harshly about it!

    • ⭐️Most Accurate Poster 2017⭐️

      just a little light treason

      • BoatOfVelociraptors

        I swear to god the Republicans sounds like a crack addict.

        Just gimme some tax cuts, man.. I’ll do anything.
        Throw old ladies out of the home onto the street? No Problem!
        Pretend Trump is smart? No Problem!
        A little Light Treason? No Problem!

        Just gimme some cut man!

        • ⭐️Most Accurate Poster 2017⭐️

          It’s not even tax cuts (except for the rich assholes in charge) – their base sold out the country because they wanted to be racist in public without social consequences.

          • BoatOfVelociraptors

            The racism is just the heroin in their speedball. The cuts pay the bills.

          • Lori

            Don’t forget forced birth as punishment for the slutty, slutty, sluts. My family would have voted for the devil himself if he’d promised to put someone on SCOTUS who would vote to overturn Roe v Wade at the first opportunity.

          • ⭐️Most Accurate Poster 2017⭐️

            Oh yeah, that too.

    • jesterpunk

      So many extra stupid comments over on the hill.

    • Doug Langley

      These guys are so awful at this spy stuff I expect to see Max and 99 walk out any minute.

    • ltmcdies

      you know, it’s a damn good the Trumps have to share the family brain cell or America would be in far more trouble.

  • Panika MCD

    here’s a silly quiz:

    which G20 leader would you be based on what you put on your hamburger.
    https://www.buzzfeed.com/hayesbrown/build-a-hamburger-and-well-tell-you-which-g20-leader-you-are?utm_term=.caKggwKWN&ref=mobile_share#.pjVBBvd4n

    I got Justin Trudeau. SWISH!

    • Pax Americana Per Ars Smith

      Fuck! I got Trump. I has a tremendous sad.

      • Panika MCD

        play again!

        • puredog

          Not having planned dinner, I think a cheese and chive ommie with bacon will have to suffice.

      • OutOfOrbit

        You admitted it?! Go to you room.

        • Pax Americana Per Ars Smith

          Already there! 😔

      • Resistance Fighter Astraea

        Did you choose an overcooked burger with katsup?

        • Pax Americana Per Ars Smith

          Actually, a medium rare with mayo, American cheese, and fries with extra ketchup.

          • Panika MCD

            it was the American cheese and extra katsup.

          • Pax Americana Per Ars Smith

            But that was the only option. Waaaahhhhh!

          • Panika MCD

            there were plenty of other options.

      • Kiri the Unicorn

        You’re doing it wrong.

      • Raan

        I has a slightly lesser sad. There’s May. I knew I should have gone with the maple bacon instead of pickles.

      • Alex Grey

        So are you making hamburgers great again?

      • ltmcdies

        I wondered if Trump was a choice…sorry about that hon. Ask for a do over

      • Three Finger Salute

        Was a vodka-urine cocktail a choice of beverage?

      • Lori

        You asked for your burger well done?

        • Pax Americana Per Ars Smith

          No, medium rare! That’s what I don’t get.

          • Lori

            American cheese on a regular bun with fries & ketchup on the side? Stereotypically American and therefore you get Trump?

          • Pax Americana Per Ars Smith

            I guess!

    • I am Angela Merkel.

      • Kiri the Unicorn

        Ja, wir sind Angela.

    • BigCSouthside

      Merkel

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      Emmanuel Macron

      Also too- how the hell can you make a burger without either Swiss cheese or mushrooms as choices?

      • BigCSouthside

        Only single condiment threw me. I make complex sauces for burgers

        • Panika MCD

          but this is ordering out…so you’re not making the sauce, you’re just picking it.

          • BigCSouthside

            I’d still go with AT LEAST Dijon, mayo, and ketchup

          • Panika MCD

            well, you can’t. get more creative with your other toppings.

          • BigCSouthside

            Dammit buzzfeed your survey is flawed!

          • Panika MCD

            your ability to take a simple survey is flawed. and you’re going to cost this whole party extra with your add ons.

        • Zippy W Pinhead

          at least a couple of them…

        • Three Finger Salute

          Me too, at least with the single condiment. I always do mustard, ketchup and mayo on a bacon burger with lettuce and tomatoes. In New England, we have local options for the bread; one choice is what’s called a “bulkie roll” and the other is a Portuguese-style dinner roll. You can have chouriço (Spanish chorizo, but slightly different) on it instead of bacon too. (Or with it, if you’re willing to trade flavor for cardiac health.) And of course for the beverage, a Del’s Lemonade, Passion Fruit Sumol, or coffee-milk Friendly Fribble or Awful Awful (generic term “coffee cabinet”). Or just coffee Hood milk. If so inclined and of legal drinking age, you can have a ‘Gansett or Sam Adams instead.

      • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

        ???

        Those two things are for salads, not burgers.

        Onions, tomatoes, and jalapanos ftw!

        • Zippy W Pinhead

          Tomatoes in AZ suck (former midwesterner here, how I miss good maters and corn) and jalapeños belong on Sonoran dogs

          • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

            i thought that tomato thing was just me – when I moved to south florida, every damn slice of tomato tasted awful – even (especially?) the ones at fast food places.

          • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

            p.s. Jalapenos belong on everything!

            Excellent on pizza.

      • Martini Ambassador 🍸

        I am he also too. Probably thanks to my heavily brioche-dependent burger portfolio and my talking in this outrrrrrrageous accent.

        • Lori

          I also chose the brioche bun (because, of course). I assumed that would make me Macron, especially since I picked brie for the cheese. I got Trudeau.

      • Lyly Sirivong

        OMG, the food truck I regularly go to used to make a burger with mushrooms and Etivaz cheese. I was heartbroken when they stopped making it.

        • Lori

          That sounds fabulous. I would have staged a protest over having that taken off the menu.

      • Left Coast Tom

        I got Macron, as well.

      • Three Finger Salute

        I’m allergic to mushrooms and onions.

    • Lyly Sirivong

      I got Merkel.
      “Ja, your burger is sensible and steady like you, with just enough Teutonic charm to win over detractors. Plus: beer.”

      • Panika MCD

        I had a beer with mine also too!

        • BigCSouthside

          Few things are better with beer than burgers.

          • puredog

            Pizza pie.

        • Lyly Sirivong

          Which is funny because I never order beer when I have a burger.

          • BigCSouthside

            A good hoppy beer with a hint of citrus and a well made burger is a fucking work of art all should experience

          • Zippy W Pinhead

            ^^THIS^^

          • Panika MCD

            I always order beer…I just don’t always order a burger.

      • ltmcdies

        I got Merkel too….I bet it was the beer that swung the quiz

    • BoatOfVelociraptors

      I am actually making a hamburger right now… Let’s see.

      • BoatOfVelociraptors

        You got: Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau
        Hip, with it, trendy — you and your burger are all of these things. Sure, some of your defining traits may feel a little overplayed or forced, but you’re here for it anyway.

        • BoatOfVelociraptors

          Medium Rare, Bacon, American Cheese, Sriracha, and Bacon on a poppyseed Kaiser.

          • Panika MCD

            I did:
            whole wheat bun
            medium-rare
            goat cheese
            guac
            carmelized onions
            maple bacon
            and beer.

          • BoatOfVelociraptors

            I put beer on the quiz, but I’m really drinking a hard seltzer. Close enough.

          • BoatOfVelociraptors
          • Three Finger Salute

            Who’d ya get? Mine was Trudeau.

            I did:
            sesame seed bun,
            medium-rare,
            American cheese,
            Dijon mustard,
            lettuce,
            maple bacon
            and truffle fries.

            I’m guessing the “maple bacon” and “truffle fries” were the dead giveaways. Dijon is French, so probably could have gone either for Trudeau or Macron. But the American cheese and the McDonald-esque sesame seed bun are what probably leans towards this side of the pond.

          • Doug Langley

            Except for the maple bacon and truffle fries, that’s exactly what I chose. And I got Trudeau.

          • Doug Langley

            Wait – I think I did the onions instead of lettuce.

    • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

      I got Trudeau also, too.

    • Alex Grey

      Apparently I am Macron.

    • Three Finger Salute

      I got Trudeau too! 😎 💖 🍁 🇨🇦

    • therblig

      Chinese President Xi Jinping

      guessing the bean sprouts. would have liked a veggie burger option, though.

    • I also got Trudeau. I suspect it is the Maple Bacon that put me over

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸

    Uh huh, uh, ok…
    https://twitter.com/DonaldJTrumpJr/status/884074711709306880
    Jr knows what for about the thinky types

    • Panika MCD

      he’s going to replace people with Rodin replicas?

      http://www.supyo.com/home/crazypics/images_8/TheThinker.gif

      • ariel_gee_398

        That idiot wouldn’t know art if he took a shit on it.

        • Zippy W Pinhead

          or knocked it off one of his buildings…

          • Panika MCD

            or if the statue took a shit on him.

      • BeachBum

        Don’t tell ’em he’s French. Mon Dieu, he veel sheet hees pantz !

    • ariel_gee_398

      These idiots throw me straight into a Veruca Salt-like rage. In my head, I start screaming, “SHUT UP, SHUT UP, SHUT UP. I want a new administration NOW.”

    • BeachBum

      I’m glad he cleared this up. Since November I bin all a-wondering where all the thinkers a bin at in this here admeanastratshun. Much Grass.

      • Rick Hill

        In this administration, thinkers can cut costs even further and funnel the to anything that even marginally hopes to make trump look good.

    • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

      as the child of a disabled vet, FUCK YOU DON!

      • Rick Hill

        He hasn’t even begun to earn “Fuck you, don!”

        • puredog

          “And Quiet Fucks the Don”

    • Lori

      Can Jr do just one tweet that’s actually a coherent, grammatically correct sentence? That doesn’t seem like too much to ask. There was an error in his idiotic, creepy post praising his sister for being smrt and there’s an error in this one too., He needs to gather his thoughts and decide what he wants to say before he starts typing.

    • therblig

      hundreds fired, no one applying to replace them. brilliant!

    • Incoming Ham

      Why do Jackel 1 and Jackel 2 feel they should be involved with this stuff?

      Ah, wait. Monarchy.

  • ⭐️Most Accurate Poster 2017⭐️

    re: Trump’s fucking insane plan to outsource cybersecurity to Russia:

    https://twitter.com/HalfOnionInABag/status/884080019445653504

  • Resistance Fighter Astraea

    When do we get to the part of the story where Sydney kicks the Russian spy’s ass?
    https://68.media.tumblr.com/e57cc982c8f935f395949f53ed2d8eaf/tumblr_n9va7stWM11sm71alo6_r1_400.gif

    • Lori

      We really need to hurry up and get to that part.

      And as an aside—Jennifer Garner needs work and I need TV to like so they should bring Alias back.

  • aktlib101

    A fun read.
    “When in Europe, dress like a walking apology for Brexit”
    https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2017/jul/09/when-in-europe-dress-like-a-walking-apology-for-brexit-stewart-lee

    “Last year, when we visited France, I made sure the children always wore lapel badges, which I bought on the internet, of the EU flag. No one would be in any doubt of our political affiliations. Any awkwardness could be immediately abated by enthusiastic lapel-gesturing.

    At the French holiday camp, Six and Nine made friends with some Belgian children of similar ages, Zes and Negen. And though, being English, we were unable to speak any foreign languages, least of all Belgian, we made our feelings about the complex pros and cons in the argument for European political and economic unity understood to the Walloons by pointing at the badges and pretending to cry, over and over again.

    Of course, 12 months later, the situation is much worse, and the British, or more specifically the English, have gone from being regarded by the Europeans as the cool kids who gave the world the Beatles, James Bond, and football, to being a kind of embarrassing, weird family of angry and confused hooligans, whose garden is full of used nappies, old wet copies of Fiesta Readers’ Wives, and rusted tricycle frames.”

    • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

      “by pointing at the badges and pretending to cry, over and over again.”

      That’s hilarious.

      the TX mom likes to say she can’t speak spanish, but she does practice good enough “sign language” to get by.

    • Three Finger Salute

      Chances are, you’ll run into an American who’s sewn a maple leaf on their overcoat. Which, nowadays, is the equivalent of a yellow star anyway.

  • Rick Hill

    So…yer resident Rick Hill has been out most of the day. Anyone been talking about trump’s two hour talk to Putin?Anyone have any doubts that he pumped trump for every sekrit he has in his little pea brain?
    Every Time you see Putin with trump you should just hear a little voice: “All your bases are belong to us.”

    • Raan

      But should we take off every zig?

      • BoatOfVelociraptors

        MOVE ZIG MOVE ZIG MOVE ZIG MOVE ZIG!

        • BeachBum

          “SERPENTINE ! SERPINTINE ! “

    • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

      didja hear? they sent melania in to break the thing up after 30 minutes – apparently donnie demonstrated who he loves more.

      • Rick Hill

        Putin kept trump talking, schmoozing him. trump doesn’t even know that half of what he says is classified, like when he tweets about thoughts and prayers for the sailors in the collision in Japan last month before the families have been notified their people have been killed. You know trump kept bragging because he thought that Vlad was his buddy, the same as with the Howard Stern show.

    • Rick Hill

      Yeah! As far as he knew, those sketchy people were connected to the Russian mobsters the trump’s have been beholden to for years.

      • bookish

        So even if Don jr didn’t obtain the damaging info on Hillary (and that’s still an open question) , is he vulnerable to some sort of conspiracy charge?

        • Rick Hill

          Since trump not only broke all the rules but he’s putting himself in the category of the only person in the history of the US to have done so, I’d say, yes.

    • Electric Ukulele Land

      I though the story was that they tried to collude but the Russians weren’t very helpful.

    • Walter Wellstone

      Donald looks like just another member of Putin’s staff. How cute.

      • Sheepshagger

        It’s shopped. Just so you know.

        • Walter Wellstone

          Yes, I know. The pose is pretty good, though.

          • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

            i didn’t know it was shopped, but i am kinda dumb.

      • hudson srinivasan

        what do you mean looks?

    • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

      ha!

    • aktlib101

      “The Last Supper”, modern adaptation

    • BadKitty904

      The new President of the Russo-American Federation and his lackeys.

  • Sheepshagger
    • The Wanderer

      Excellent news. They’ve got their work cut out for them rebuilding the city.

      • hudson srinivasan

        understatement of the year. forget city rebuilding families itself is gonna take a while.

    • BoatOfVelociraptors

      Reading about the Wat team in the New Yorker… They took 40% casualties…

  • Granny Sprinkles

    Listen y’all, I was gonna clean the basement this week, but Hillary Clinton has trapped my ass on the sofa through the cunning use of invisible electromagnets.

    NO YOU DON’T NEED TO CHECK JUST TAKE MY WORD FOR IT.

    • Kiri the Unicorn

      Sounds legit. Darn her!

    • Doug Langley

      We told you not to go overboard with the iron supplements.

    • hudson srinivasan

      well i asked her twice and she vehemently denied it.

      • Granny Sprinkles

        THANKS OBAMA

    • Roni Raven, Undercovfefe Agent

      You too?!! Only with me it was cleaning the bathrooms.

      Next she’ll be turning us into newts!

      • Doug Langley

        Ribbit.

      • Granny Sprinkles

        We’ll get better.

    • msanthropesmr

      We interviewed secretary Clinton for 11 hours. She says nu uh.

      • Granny Sprinkles

        Let me guess. She was home alone playing scissors with Huma and murdering Ben Ghazi.

        • starfanglednut

          Scissors…Huma… I’ll be in my bunk.

      • Only 11 hours? My 16 hour congressional hearing starts tomorrow!

    • aktlib101

      Did you turn your microwave ON?

    • BeachBum

      She also stopped me from pulling weeds and washing cars ! Oh the humanity !

      • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

        i failed to sweep and mop this week – add it to the indictment!

        • Keith Taylor

          That crooked evil malevolent Satanic Hillary sure gets a lot done. If even half of it is true, I’m puzzled as to why she isn’t the one in the Oval Office, with the aid of her dark master. As I wonder sometimes why all those advanced alien spaceships keep crashing all over the planet like aircraft in 1911.

      • puredog

        Not only did I vacuum and wash and detail my car, but I even cleaned away the grotty grease/green scum accumulation on the insides of the door jambs. “Course, I am hoping to sell it. It is a good ride, so I shouldnt have any trouble, esp since I am totally willing not to max out my sales price in return for a speedy and effortless sale.

        • Up In Smoke O’hontas

          I detailed two cars, just because I won’t let Killary keep me from makING my cars greaterer! I did not, however, send a single email.

    • Rick Hill

      And chemtrails, too. To make you lethargic.

  • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

    so, I posted this yesterday – noting barack obama had found the world’s cutest babby.

    The TX mom wanted to see the picture (she’s still convinced that *I* was the world’s cutest babby) and she said, “he looks so happy not to be on the job anymore.”

    lol.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/2136da18782d39d6dae1b940d565afe394fd6cb429ffb7cc4f7144d6b6434e5d.jpg

    • starfanglednut

      Aww…

      • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

        it’s ’em chubby cheeks and sun hat that makes it.

    • You can’t have been the world’s cutest baby. I have it on absolutely unimpeachable authority that I was the world’s cutest baby!

      • Ms.MLG on Maui

        I looked like a red, hairless monkey.

        • Up In Smoke O’hontas

          I was called an orangutan due to my red hair standing straight up off my head. Also too all the poo flinging…

          • Ms.MLG on Maui

            Haha!! I totally understand. I was born with a head full of dark hair, then it all fell out except a perfect mohawk down the center. My 6-weeks photo is hilarious.

          • Up In Smoke O’hontas

            Same here. No headband with bows, just a wrinkly fuzz ball looking all squinty. Let’s just say I was no Donna Rose!

        • Granny Sprinkles

          Teen Daughter looked like a hairy red potato that had been grown in rocky soil.

          • Ms.MLG on Maui

            My middle sister and her daughters were the most beautiful babies ever. They looked like tiny porcelain dolls. Me and my youngest sister’s cuteness took some time to come in.

          • Granny Sprinkles

            My oldest looked like a Raphael cherub, so I thought the others were funny looking. Then Teen Daughter was born at 32 weeks and I learned what funny looking REALLY was.

            She got over it though.

        • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

          lol, if it makes you feel better, after i work out i look like a sickly, hairless possum.

          • Ms.MLG on Maui

            Now you’re just trying to turn me on!

        • I’ve seen the photos of myself as a baby. I did, too. But mom looks at those and sees something completely different.

    • Lyly Sirivong

      The baby is like “OMG you guys, I just met Obama !”

    • Lori

      He does seem to be enjoying himself post-White House, but he always looks happy holding a baby. He likes kids and they like him. I suspect that he’s going to be one of those dads who struggles not to be a little obnoxious about wanting grandchildren :)

  • Bill D. Burger
    • BadKitty904
      • puredog

        Well, while you concern yourselves with truth and the future of this country, I am just tapping my fingers until 6 pm Pacific time, when I will be able to access the next episode of Twin Peaks, after having been cruelly denied access lo these two weeks. After I watch that I may turn my attention to nation-saving. Priorities, people.

        • BadKitty904

          I would feign outrage if GoT’s new season didn’t start next Sunday. I’ve had three conversations about this with complete strangers in the past week.

          • So. Excited. So much bat-shit crazy, without the threat of nuclear annihilation!

          • BadKitty904

            My end of the brunch table this AM was entirely devoted to a two-hour analysis of what might happen in the coming season.

          • Unfortunately, my group of friends all watch it at different paces, so no discussion until everyone’s done

          • BadKitty904

            Now, THAT’S friendship!

          • Well, when it gets down to one person or couple and it’s a month after the finale, we say fuck it

        • BeachBum

          I’m waiting for Jane Tennyson on Mystery. Last week her and the Inspector did the Nasty. OOEE. Oh, and they catch killers too!

  • aktlib101

    A longer but good read about the people of McDowell County, West Virginia. Walmart came and destroyed Mom and Pop stores, then left and brought fresh pain.
    “Inequality and Opportunity in America: What happened when Walmart left”
    https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2017/jul/09/what-happened-when-walmart-left

    “Linda McKinney says that the fresh food they received from Walmart, or “waste” as the corporation classed it, is sorely missed. But, like many of the other residents of McDowell County, she says she also mourns the communal aspect of the supercenter, its quality as a “social hub”.

    McKinney rattles off a list of all the community facilities that disappeared from the region in recent years as the population declined and the culture of mega-chains like Walmart took root.

    There used to be 28 churches of her United Methodist denomination in the county, now there are six; there were seven bars in Welch, all but one have closed; there were three cinemas, now it’s down to one; there are no community centers left; many of the corner shops have gone. “There’s nothing here,” McKinney says.”

    • BeachBum

      Needs moar coal jobs !

    • Bill D. Burger

      Jeebus and Donald will solve it soon…waiting…waiting…

      https://thesuperstitiousnakedape.files.wordpress.com/2014/02/imagem5.png

    • OutOfOrbit

      Vote Republican USA!
      Vote Republican USA! USA!!
      Vote Republican USA! USA!! USA!!!

      • aktlib101

        Heh. Logic. Who needs it?

    • Bitter Scribe

      Well, Amazon is now doing to Wal-Mart what Wal-Mart did to mom-and- pop stores, so there’s rough justice, I guess.

    • therblig

      “what did you expect, i’m a snake”.

    • Granny Sprinkles

      Millennial Daughter is headed to McDowell county tomorrow to set up the summer food program she started last year.

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      People are surprised when soulless corporation behaves like soulless corporation. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/7c1b01779fe2b8e33cc946612059b169756f558dadb8741ee6487520a5489078.gif

    • Claire

      Wait – huh? The “communal aspect” of WALMART? People, like, stood around in the polyester aisle meeting and greeting and exchanging gossip? The gun aisle took the place of singles bars?

      I can’t even envision this for long, it makes me want to kill myself. Yeah, this is the Real America we should all aspire to live in, where FUCKING WALMART is the “social hub” of the community, oh my god, rural areas, please stop voting for
      the rest of us to live in the same horrifying misery you do. Just. Stop. Stop thinking this is the way decent people live. Stop thinking anything good can come of a country where a big box store selling cheap awful trashy shit is the “social hub” of the community.

      Stop wanting the rest of us to live with you in Walmart Nation. I will literally die first.

  • Raan

    the cat has decided to sleep on my back

    send help

    • Up In Smoke O’hontas

      You’re done for, man. Game over!

    • msanthropesmr

      It’s a prelude to eating you. Get out.

    • Doug Langley

      What you’re smelling is Worcestershire sauce.

    • starfanglednut

      How on earth are you managing to type? *sniff So brave!

      • Raan

        On my phone.

        • Me not sure

          Quiet! It mustn’t detect your movements!

        • starfanglednut

          I figured. I was just goofin’.

    • BadKitty904
    • Granny Sprinkles

      Cat gravity has taken hold. Sorry, it’s too late.

      • BeachBum

        Scientist say that gravity is not constant on our planet. That there are “pockets” of light and heavy gravity that are constantly changing. After much research and grant funding, they have concluded that these extra heavy gravity pockets are marked by “cats.”

    • Raan

      i rolled over slightly and she left

      cancel rescue operation

      • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

        i elbow bastard cat when he wants to sleep with his ass in my face.

    • motmelere

      This one has been around for a while, but never fails to crack me up… https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/498842ad008363af30ca0ced20c007ec6e52d6d242c642d8b0228f254df530bd.jpg

  • Jeff Mc Donald

    I’m pretty sure we should trust the Trump version. Republicans can’t be held responsible for anything. I believe that’s even in the Constitution.

  • Ms.MLG on Maui

    I didn’t meet with them, but if I did it was totally innocent, so I’m not sure why I would have lied about it, because I didn’t, and it wasn’t, and what are we talking about again? Oh, yes. Hillary Clinton.

  • Apple Scruff

    How adorable of Fanta Hitler to throw his son under the bus — “I knew nothing of this meeting”.

  • Rick Hill

    No one’s going to the vegan baby butthole thread anymore so I’llpost this here:
    https://img-9gag-fun.9cache.com/photo/aMAQLGR_700b.jpg

    • puredog

      The first rule of Baby Vegan Butthole Club is that nobody talks about Baby Vegan Butthole Club.

    • It’s gotten a little toxic in there.

      • Rick Hill

        Maybe they need a good wheatgrass cleanse.

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸

    Hahaha. But also depressingly accurate.
    https://twitter.com/MattMurph24/status/884180999109783552

  • Bill D. Burger
  • memzilla Ω
  • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

    there’s a joke in futurama where fry asks, “is this angry yelling or broken hearing aid yelling?”

    I ask that often when the TX mom and the TX Aunt talk on hte phone (which is every day).

    • Panika MCD

      yes.

  • Bill D. Burger
    • BadKitty904

      The current ruler of the United States and his pet poodle…

  • Ezio
  • msanthropesmr

    It happened again. I have no idea where the fuck I am yet poeple still ask me directions.

    • Jeffocaster in the East

      Can you tell me how to get to Sesame Street?

    • Panika MCD

      that used to happen to me when I lived in NYC. I must have done that to hundreds of non-native NYCers when I had visited before that.

      • msanthropesmr

        I’m not from here. I come here once a year tops. This happens every where. I once was asked for directions in German by Dutch tourists in Amsterdam at Schipohl train station.

        • Jeffocaster in the East

          They think the Chechen Prez knows it all.

    • Ms.MLG on Maui

      That happens to me in stores all the time. People ask me questions like I work there, even though I’m just shopping like them. I finally asked a lady who asked me where to find something (and was the 2nd one that day) why it keeps happening. She said, “you just look…legit.” You probably look legit, man! It must be our glasses.

      • OutOfOrbit

        Donut shop in sensible shoes silly!

    • Do you know the way to San Jose?

      • msanthropesmr

        How does it feel to look like candy?

      • Lori

        Which one? (At least when I was living in the SF bay area at least once a year someone would end up in our San Jose when they meant to go to the other one.)

    • BeachBum

      You look intelligent with glasses. Or maybe the GPS antenna out of your tin foil hat. Either won ;)

    • I was lost in the rain in Juarez once.

    • AJ Milne

      I get that a lot.

      Sometimes I make something up.

      (I just hate to disappoint.)

    • Lori

      That happened to me all the time when I was working in Orange County and when I was living in DC. When I worked in OC I was living in LA county, so literally the only places I knew how to find were my office, a few restaurants, and the good grocery store. This didn’t stop people from asking me for directions to everywhere from city hall to the beach.

      When I moved to DC I had someone ask me directions to one of the museums on my very first day in town. I was still trying to work out which Metro line to get on.

      The thing that makes this extra weird is that I kind of have resting bitch face, so they presumably weren’t asking me because I looked nice.

    • Incoming Ham

      I used to get this too, except it was ALWAYS Dutch people and they spoke to me in Dutch (I was living in London). 1-2 times a month. Baffling.

  • Bill D. Burger

    “Next meeting, my little rabbit, you bring that thing with you. We use it to scare crows out of garden we will plant in Ukraine…..or, as I call it, Mykraine.”

    http://i.imgur.com/xJrBcIJ.gif

  • HazooToo

    I just watched all of Santa Clarita Diet. It was magnificent. Won’t be another season til 2018. Anyone have any binge-watching suggestions?

    • Jeffocaster in the East

      Orphan Black

      • HazooToo

        Ooo, good one, thank you!

      • OutOfOrbit

        Thought you was in the dessert (dressing). cant you stay poot tor 1 day?

    • Travelers, also on Netflix.

    • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

      i’m doing the original Twilight Zone series – very good.

  • Sheepshagger

    This woman is a little more than a lawyer. She’s a fixer for a mafia clan with ties to the top of the Russian state. She was refused a visa for entry to America and was on conditional entry when she met with Donnie Jr. Shes up to her eyebrows in the Magnitsky mess, which is corruption all the way to the top. She’s a very dangerous person. Vide:

    >Veselnitskaya is known for waging a harsh campaign against the 2012 Magnitsky Act, which blacklisted Russians suspected of human-rights abuses, and has strong ties to the Kremlin. She is married to a former deputy transportation minister of the Moscow region, and her clients have included Russian state-owned businesses.

    She is also the family lawyer for Denis Katsyv, the son of senior Russian government official Pyotr Katsyv and owner of the Cyprus-incorporated real-estate company Prevezon. Prevezon was under investigation by the Department of Justice at the time of the meeting over whether it laundered millions of dollars into New York City real estate.

    The case, which was settled for approximately $6 million in May, garnered high-profile attention given its ties to the $230 million Russian tax-fraud scheme uncovered by Russian lawyer Sergei Magnitsky, whose suspicious death aroused international media attention in November 2009.

    • starfanglednut

      Holy shit.

      • Sheepshagger

        She makes Roy Cohn look like a Boy Scout.

    • Jeffocaster in the East

      Creep and Creep Jr.

  • So, WaPo is reporting that Trump Jr. admits to meeting with Russian atty to get info helpful to campaign.

    These assholes make resisting so easy.

  • DainBramage

    The Leader of the Western World gives Pootie-Poot the eye roll.
    https://twitter.com/SimonNRicketts/status/883353965483741185

    • BosGrl

      I love this “no fucks” Merkel.

  • Bill D. Burger
    • RobKanC

      cos the second amendment trumps everything..

      • Alex Grey

        Shouldn’t that read “Trumped everyone”

    • Claire

      I read an article in which a Trump voter was asked why he voted for Trump, and his answer was literally “My daddy told me that this is a Republican county.” I might or might not have said “What the fuck is WRONG with you?” out loud in response.

  • IdiokraticDrumpfenResistance

    Cheetolini’s number one fan (in her own mind at least) takes a chance and gets caught being voter fraudulent. Pleads guilty to attempting to vote twice for the Orange One. http://www.nydailynews.com/news/politics/iowa-woman-pleads-guilty-voting-president-trump-article-1.3313298

    • Vecchioivan

      Just proves what Republicans have been saying. Voter fraud is rampant.

    • jesterpunk

      >Rote’s court-appointed attorney initially argued her client’s
      “significant mental deficits” and “cognitive limitations” might render
      her unfit to stand trial, the Des Moines Register reported in January.

      Well her lawyers tried to use the fact that she was a Trump supporter as justification for why she shouldnt be punished.

    • motmelere

      The asshats who gin up the voter fraud scare still have to convince about forty republicans to fight fire with fire in Wisconsin before their numbers are bigger than UFO sightings in the state.

  • Rick Hill

    Ok, so , Pence touches really important science thing that says, for no reason at all because, c’mon, when have you ever seen a sign on rocket stuff that says “Do not touch this.”? So it can’t be important. The interwebs has their way with him. Yeah, you have to click it or open it in a new tab to embiggen it but it’s worth it
    https://img-9gag-fun.9cache.com/photo/a1KY3jb_700b.jpg

  • Bill D. Burger
    • bookish

      Don Jr? Don’t know him.

  • Ezio
    • Incoming Ham

      “Patriot” as part of the @? Guaranteed to be an idiot.

  • Three Finger Salute

    King Rupert has been wreaking havoc in his native country, I see.

    Australia’s “Fox News” and what they learned from their American equivalent

    Canada didn’t even need Murdoch. ‘Course, Sun TV was a massive failure, but Rebel Media (Infowars North) is like a cockroach made of liquid metal that refuses to be terminated.

    Conservatives poison everything.

  • Rick Hill

    Not arguing for the first but the second point is quite valid
    https://img-9gag-fun.9cache.com/photo/a7DbXXL_700b.jpg

    • Alex Grey
    • Three Finger Salute

      Two wrongs don’t make either of them right. I’d prefer that the pedophile blow himself up in an empty field instead of harming the kid or anyone in a busy crowd.

    • JustDon’tSaySortMyBalls

      So to me, convincing a 12YO to play with your junk is evil at a pretty close level to convincing a 12YO to blow himself up. So using one to defend the other is almost a circular argument.

    • bupkus231

      I kinda think it’s betrays a racist mindset to talk about religious indoctrination – then use suicide bombing as an analogy.

      But, of course, since he’s trying to analogize to “consensual” pedophilia, racism is the least of his problems ( and I mean that, even if the guy is just playing “devil’s advocate” on this argument )

    • motmelere

      There is nothing consensual about dealing with a 12 year old child. Hell, I’m turning 54 tomorrow & view anyone under 30 as too inexperienced for a true partnership. I’m sure the exception to my rule exists by the thousands if not more, but anyone under 18 is rape.

      • Rick Hill

        And by the same reasoning, they should be older before they are introduced to religion

  • Komsumverweigerer Ron

    flushed out the wounds on my fingers and now it hurts so bad I needed two percs just to stop from whimpering loudly. damn. eight more days of this.
    bbl, I hope

    • marxalot

      Dude! wtf happened?

      • Komsumverweigerer Ron

        Lost a discussion with a table saw. Again.

    • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

      gah! i thought you had an appt monday?

      • Komsumverweigerer Ron

        NEXT Monday. A week from today.

    • Yikes!

    • Up In Smoke O’hontas

      Shit! Mr Hontas lost a finger tip to a table saw…I hope it’s less worse than that!

      • Komsumverweigerer Ron

        Just barely – they sewed the finger tip back on and it appears to be healing properly, but it’s a mucky repair and it’ll be a while before they can be sure.

        • Vienna Woods

          Ouch. I still remember the day my dad did something similar. We never did find the tip, so he spent the rest of his life holding up his hand to freak people out.

    • Kiri the Unicorn

      Damn, Ron! What happened?

      • Komsumverweigerer Ron

        Table saw accident. Second one in a year.

        • Kiri the Unicorn

          Argh. How bad?

          • Komsumverweigerer Ron

            Deep gouges in left pinky and middle finger. Top half inch of ring finger half cut off, including a problematic bit of the bone.

          • Kiri the Unicorn

            Table saws scare the hell out of me, and this is why. Did you get to the ER?

          • Komsumverweigerer Ron

            Yup, within 15 minutes of the accident. Would have been less but they were repaving the road out of town. True story!

  • Nounverb911
  • AJ Milne

    Sweet FSM, the psycho ice cream truck is back…

    So there’s this weird ice cream truck prowls my neighbourhood. It _always_ plays the same song… Dunno quite what it is, think something kinda cheery and vapid and stereotypical for ice cream trucks, like Camptown Races, but that’s not quite it…

    … it plays it _over_ and _over_ and _over_ again. It really starts to get under your skin, especially if the windows are open, or you’re working outside. Standard joke around my household is it’s obviously not a real ice cream truck… Gotta be some weird horror movie villain looking for victims, or possibly a surveillance van…

    And no, I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone buy anything, either…

    Today’s punchline: he’s out there. As is his thing…

    (Oh… Great… He just came closer. Now parked like 10 meters away. Joy…)

    … anyway: today’s punchline: he’s out there. As always…

    … notwithstanding it’s raining, and has been for the past half hour or so.

    • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

      this is like reading dispatches from kids living on Elm Street.

      We have shady ice cream trucks here – they ALWAYS seem to turn the corner the exact second I climb into bed for a nap.

    • bookish

      Our bicycle ice cream guys also deal drugs, so rain is no deterrent.

      • AJ Milne

        As two of you have suggested this, I gotta consider it plausible…

        … also, I seriously think the only way someone could deal with hearing that song all day and not go completely off the deep end, unless they’re actually deaf, is some kinda serious medicinal support.

    • marxalot

      Drugs.

    • Maybe it’s the cat detector van.

      • Kiri the Unicorn

        From the Bureau of Housinge.

        • sgt. jmk of the résistance

          I’ve never seen so many bleeding aerials.

    • Alex Grey
    • Phrieda Ω

      Probably “Turkey in the Straw”.* It seems to come preinstalled in ice cream trucks.

      *https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Turkey_in_the_Straw

      • AJ Milne

        That’s _it_!

      • SeeTrain65

        The religious nut job who owns the ice cream trucks in my county seat has his trucks play “Be A Clown,” and the song sometimes stops after about five measures and just repeats.

        Children run for the trucks. Adults run away.

  • Rick Hill
    • Nounverb911

      “Who’s on first”?

    • Kiri the Unicorn

      “You are doing well, Agent Triple X. I am sorry that your assignment requires that you touch him occasionally.”

      • Rick Hill

        “Es ok. Anything for the Motherland. And that you don’t have my family killed to the third generation….”

      • Rick Hill

        Seriously, though. They look as though they are sharing a look of “Can you belive how easy this fool makes this? How can one man be so stoopid?”

      • therblig

        “As a reward for your service, you may disregard orders to kill moose and squirrel.”

    • 3FingerPete

      I never realized Putin was just a salted walnut in a suit.

  • Rick Hill

    Someone polled the trump administration.
    https://img-9gag-fun.9cache.com/photo/aNzK5j3_700b.jpg

    • kareemachan

      I had no idea when I worked in a traditionally male job that I liked it when they harassed me.

      Dang, am I baka or wut?

      • Rick Hill

        Women always are behind the curve. That’s whay mansplaining exists. Anything else you need to know?

        • (((fka_donnie_d)))

          Suitable for framing.

    • Panika MCD

      what would it say were the survey conducted in the US?

      (reading the article. it surveyed men from Egypt, Lebanon, Palestine and Morocco.)

      • Rick Hill

        Idk. I have been too surprised by the thoughts and opinions of my fellow Americans for quite awhile, now

  • Rick Hill

    Are you having a bad day? Not me, because it’s mosty indistinguishable from the rest of them
    https://img-9gag-fun.9cache.com/photo/a9AP0RL_700b.jpg

  • Ezio

    Sooo….when Meryl Streep or whoever else speaks out against Trump, right-wingers say that celebrities should “keep their mouths shut and stay out of politics”…EXCEPT when the celebrity is a right winger? https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/38b63a9b36092d7169aeef40dd351eb9873fffb8ab467c9a7fa7816b042bba1f.png

    • Panika MCD

      like CNN is just going to stop broadcasting in airports so that Lord Dimwit Schneider not want to see their stories.

    • RobKanC

      Good, they can keep his shitty comedy.

    • 3FingerPete

      Someday Adam Sandler will tire of paying for Schneider’s Internet connection.

    • kareemachan

      Rob who?

      • Raan

        That guy who accidentally ate the pot roast with Kenny’s soul in it.

      • SeeTrain65

        You know! The barnacle on Adam Sandler’s ass.

  • La forza del resistino

    Howsa bout forgetting the rooshian adoption program, Jr, and look into setting something up for in need Syrian, Sudanese or Somali orphaned babies … oh, wait.

  • Ok, just the bulk of the bedroom and kitchen left, plus garbage. I hate moving with the fire of a thousand suns

    • You’re making real progress, though!

      • So. Much. Effort. I need to load my dishwasher so i can pack things clean

        • Martini Ambassador 🍸

          Oh, I musta missed the news. All this time I thought you were packing for vacation. Moving domiciles?

          • Yup. Next weekend. I have so much shit

          • My bother always used to say that moving was one of the most depressing experiences, because while you’re packing, you can’t help but think, “Why do I have all this shit?” Then, once you’re done, and you are just staring at a pile of boxes, you can’t help but think, “Wait. Everything I own fits into this many boxes?”

          • Martini Ambassador 🍸

            Good luck! I can relate about the moving of do much stuff. And then I say I’ll downsize before the next move, and then I don’t. Currently, I still have stuff in boxes from previous moves, and I kinda don’t want to unpack them in case we decided to move again soon. Which I would sort of like to do, but also dread.

            I hope it goes well for you.

          • Phrieda Ω

            I have stuff packed from two moves ago and I’ve lived in the same house for 19 years. My vow to throw away anything I haven’t touched in ten years is packed away somewhere.

    • kareemachan

      We’ve done this time and again. Last time, we used a moving service, who basically blackmailed us. I am SO into getting rid of stuff now. Not that I plan on moving anytime soon…..

  • Rick Hill
    • RobKanC

      As soon as I win the powerball, I will be a millionaire though.

      • May i interest you in an upcoming lightening storm?

      • kareemachan

        And I’m gonna be on the HGTV show about millionaire house hunters, amirite?

      • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

        just a few hours ago, i stood in line as a very old, very disabled man spent 86 dollars on lottery tickets (and handed over a fresh hundy to pay for it).

        i play a buck or two a week, but jees.

        • amrak63

          I enter PCH’s larger giveaways every day on the Web, but that is free. I would ignore them if I had to pay to enter them (I ignore hookers for the same reason).

        • RobKanC

          Yeah. I do $5 buys when the amount goes above 500 mills. I almost got it once. Every number was -1 off. Closest I ever got to jackpot.

          • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

            better than me, i think i’ve got 2 numbers at most.

    • La forza del resistino

      As bad off as one’s finances are, there is satisfaction that someone, somewhere is having a harder time. Our plucky individualism mindset at work, no matter if cruel.

    • Kiri the Unicorn

      Temporarily Embarrassed Millionaire: “At least I ain’t no goddam (fill in the blank)!”

    • amrak63

      I’ve read that the quote is somewhat dubious–either Steinbeck said something else or someone else said the quote–but it is no less true for that.

  • Ezio

    Also I am famous now. Wesley Snipes (verified account) liked my tweet. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/a8526e3b5ab72545aba0d71083e9c6c5264b60d927271004bbabb6ba4ba6480b.png

  • Rick Hill
  • Bill D. Burger

    Well, it isn’t John Asscraft’ letting the eagle soar, but it’s fucking hilarious.

    Adolph Tweetler has posted a little vid with his own magnificience highlighted, of course, and accompanied with a stirring song, a new earworm “Make America Great Again.”

    Oh damn….I can’t stop laughing. The most unintentionally funny thing I’ve seen today.

    https://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/884033889613828096

    • Delu

      And yet, totally Trump.

    • Canis Greyhame

      He’s like one missile-parade away from being Kim Jong Un.

      • Three Finger Salute

        Kim Jong Deux Douche

    • Bill D. Burger

      Oh Donny! Go for it. Here’s how it’s really done…and it’s so YOU:

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MD6oDnm43HA

      • Three Finger Salute

        Donnie’s anthem should be called Horse’s Asshole Lied.

      • way better costuming.

    • Rick Hill

      So…the same way you can make any movie look good in a 30 second trailer, you can make this shit show look like it’s well run?

    • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

      that would be the second time (at least) he’s tweeted that song – he must listen to it while beating off.

    • Bub, the truculent Zombie

      Wanker. THIS is how it’s done!

      https://youtu.be/38qNY1QZxzc

      • Bill D. Burger

        Alexandrov’s music in that state anthem is overpowering and sublime.

        Ohh…I’m such a Commie!

    • La forza del resistino

      He’s like that bowling trophy you store in the garage.

      • Lori

        He’s like the guy who still displays his 20 year old league bowling trophy in the living room.

    • subatomic

      That is truly pathetic.

    • Panika MCD

      why did he include photos of himself frowning?

      • Lori

        That’s his “I AM Serious Leader” face. Either that or all the ‘furren food has made him constipated.

    • eyelashviper

      No Donnie, take a cue from a real authoritarian, and stop being a flaccid wimp:

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nbkNKYhC5lQ

      • Rick Hill

        Careful, it won’t take much for him to start doing just that.

        • eyelashviper

          He can start with practice on the front lawn of the WH, with Prebus, Bannon, Kush, and the rest of the crack crew marching around with really big hats.

      • bookish

        NK got that little extra bounce in the goosestep.

        • eyelashviper

          Special kimchee…

      • therblig

        what’s with the decadent saxophone?

    • Panika MCD

      fuck. both the BBC and Australia are already calling it the G19 because he sucks so much.

      • Three Finger Salute

        Did Donnie get bingo?

        • Panika MCD

          Tsarina Von Clownstick doesn’t like dogs and the song clearly said, “there was a farmer, had a dog and Bingo was his name-oh!”

    • Three Finger Salute

      Douuuuuuucheland! Uber Alles! Uber Alles, Anal Welts!

    • NastyBossetti

      Well, that’s not even remotely embarrassing!
      I couldn’t even finish it. MrBossetti kept looking at me with raised eyebrows, shaming me.

    • Lori

      OMG. How do you post something like that about yourself? Douchey thing or most douchey thing?

      • Up In Smoke O’hontas

        Douchey cubed.

    • ltmcdies

      what the ever loving fuck was that?

    • suziq

      HA! You can not make me watch that and I am not going to watch it because I have no more tolerance for his crazy shit and that sounds pretty damn crazy.

    • ltmcdies
    • Jenny

      Here are some pictures of me looking like a dumbass to music!!!

  • Bub, the truculent Zombie

    I don’t know how many of you are familiar with the story of Omar Khadr. It is currently getting a lot of attention here in Canada, for reasons that will soon be apparent. Please read this. It’s long, but well worth reading. And kudos to Mr. Selinger for posting something as intelligent and thoughtful as this on Facebook:

    Okay, I’m fucking sick of the idiocy and done with writing a diatribe every single time a friend posts about how they’re upset that Trudeau is giving a terrorist $10m. You people are…. wilfully ignorant and hypocritical. Here’s why. (And I thoroughly suggest reading the entire post. If you know me, you know I’m neither stupid, nor an apologist. I am pure fucking science, and this post is such. Read it before making an ass of yourself by posting about how we just gave a terrorist money).
    The story (the facts we know).
    * Canadian born Khadr was taken to Afghanistan at age 9, by his father. We don’t know if he wanted to go, and we don’t know why they went. There has been zero evidence put forth to suggest the trip had anything to do with terrorism. Regardless, as he was only 9, he had no choice in the matter.
    * Khadr, aged 15, was found in critical condition following a firefight. The mission debrief report filed by the US troops stated that a middle aged man threw a grenade, which killed one US soldier. The grenadier was shot in the head and confirmed killed.
    * Khadr was taken to Guantanamo Bay prison. No charges were filed against him at that time.
    * Several years later, formal charges were filed. These charges were technically not even charges of war crimes, as if they were true, Khadr would be considered an enemy combatant during a time of war, and thus everything he was accused of doing, was legal under rules of engagement. He was denied access to a lawyer at this point and no trial date was set. He was held in detention and tortured for nearly 10 years.
    * Nearly a decade later, an addendum to the original mission debrief was submitted, which identified the grenadier as Khadr by name. The original report was not rescinded. No one knows who made the addendum. No US personnel present during the firefight confirms the addendum. (at least I’ve not been able to find any).
    * A week later, Khadr is offered a plea deal. The terms of the deal were to admit guilt to all charges and serve a few more years in a Canadian prison, or refuse to admit guilt and be denied trial indefinitely. (the latter portion is not confirmed by the US government, but let’s be realistic here…)
    * Khadr takes the plea deal, is transferred to Canada.
    * Khadr sues the Canadian government for their involvement in his illegal detention, torture, and lack of a trial.
    All of the above is true as far as anyone knows. That is the official story, from both the Canadian and US governments. They have said straight out that Khadr would not be offered a trial unless he took the plea deal. Just let that sink in for a moment.
    Now let me ask you a question.
    As a Canadian, what do you stand for? Do you believe that you, as a Canadian, have the right to be presumed innocent, until proven guilty, as well as the right to a fair and quick trial? I know this is hard for many of you to consider without jumping to “oh, but he’s a terrorist, so fuck him, he’s a traitor and doesn’t deserve anything”, but we’ll get to that in a minute. Seriously consider this. Do you believe you have, as a Canadian, the inalienable right to everything laid out in the Canadian Charter of Rights and Freedoms?
    If you do, but still think Khadr does not, because he is a terrorist, let me ask you; “How do you know he is guilty?” There was no trial for 10 years, and he was only offered a trial on the condition that he plead guilty. How do we, as Canadians, determine guilt? Have you read and understood the Charter of Rights and Freedoms? It’s entire purpose is precisely to ensure that what happened to Khadr, is not allowed to happen. Period.
    Now I know many of you still can’t get past the “but he’s a traitor so he doesn’t deserve a trial” even though neither you, nor me, nor the US or Canadian government were able to provide ANY evidence whatsoever, of his guilt (no evidence was submitted during his trial, presumably because none exists), but that doesn’t matter. Let me explain the problem to you.
    You are worried that terrorists are trying to take away your freedoms as a Canadian right? They’re trying to force their way of life upon us and we as Canadians, won’t stand for that right?
    Do you see where I’m going here? Presuming Khadr’s guilt, with no evidence and without trial, is precisely what the terrorists want to do to Canada. Isn’t that your concern? Does it not strike you then, that by saying that Khadr doesn’t deserve a fair trial because he is a terrorist, with absolutely no evidence, nor a trial to prove the charges, that you are doing precisely what you are worried the terrorists are trying to do do us? A presumption of guilt, no trial, a decade of detention and torture. Is that not EXACTLY what you are worried terrorists are trying to do to us?
    At this point, I don’t think any of us should even be concerned about Khadrs innocence or guilt. He is inconsequential at this point. The REAL concern for all Canadians, is that our government denied a Canadian citizen his inalienable rights, guaranteed to him under the Charter of Rights and Freedoms. They did EXACTLY what you are worried the terrorists are trying to do. If Khadr was guilty, a trial probably would have proven such, so why was he denied a trial?
    For your information, the Canadian government did not simply offer up an apology and $10m for no reason. They were sued. Khadr filed a civil suit with the supreme court of Canada, and that court found in favour of Khadr, in that the Canadian government was in breach of Canadian and International law. Over half the money awarded will be going toward legal fees.

    Think about it this way. Your government, was just successfully sued for war crimes. Crimes they committed not only against Khadr, but against the entire Canadian public. They assured us that we would all be given a fair trial, but now we know that is not true. They assured us that we will always be presumed innocent until proven guilty. We know that is not true. They took your money, money which could have been spent on building half a hospital or something, and spent it instead, on committing war crimes, and crimes directly against the Charter for which our country stands.
    Now I don’t know if Khadr is innocent or guilty and I don’t know if that money will end up right back in the middle east, but before you get upset about that, I want you to consider this: Had the Canadian government offered Khadr a fair trial, regardless of his guilt, there would have been no civil suit and we’d have $10.5m more Canadian Pesos to spend on Moose shirts, or maple syrup flavoured hockey sticks.
    All they had to do, was abide by our own legal doctrine, and this whole mess would have never happened.
    In summation:
    If you believe Khadr did not deserve a fair and quick trial, you are not Canadian. You do not stand for what Canada stands for. You are saying very clearly, that you don’t care about evidence, treating people (who we presume are innocent until proven guilty) with basic decency, or your own or anyone else’s right to a fair trial. You are, quite literally, openly supporting about half of Sharia law. You fuckwits.

    Ben Feral Selinger

    • La forza del resistino

      Shorter version, America First: we’ll build a jail and make Canada pay for it.

    • ltmcdies

      yeh this is turning into a nice RW dog whistle in Canada, isn’t it.

      • Bub, the truculent Zombie

        Very much. And all you EVER hear is that the Canadian government paid 10.5 million dollars to a terrorist. The question of his guilt is regarded as settled. As to whether he got a fair trial…Pfffft! what are ya? A Moooslim?

        • ltmcdies

          well this is being pushed by the same bot/troll activity we saw during the American election, isn’t it.
          They haven’t really had anything to RW meme on Trudeau outside of being OMG…a drama teacher so they will run with this.

          still not quite getting why the death of this American soldier struck with the grenade is somehow so much worse than the other few thousand American soldiers who died in the ME.

          The soldiers’ widow is wanting to claim the money but I don’t get what basis….her soldier husband died in a war zone, did he not?

          • Three Finger Salute

            “Drama teacher” is the shorthand version. The official title is “Muslim drama teacher and bastard son of Fidel Castro who lets his brother and Gerald Butts fuck his wife and George Soros diddle his kids while he goes and fucks the Aga Khan for the Illuminati like a good little pizza boy.”

            Because it’s 2017?

          • ltmcdies

            yeh…that….man I’m not looking forward to the next election in a couple of years. More of this RW nonsense.

            on the plus side Canadian “trump” clone O’Leary washed out and the new CPC is a Harper clone without the “charisma” who was stinkin’ lousy speaker of the house.

            He’ll be fine for the converted but don’t think he’ll get much beyond them

    • AJ Milne

      Nice.

      Personally, I think anyone who’s still a) pro-torture and b) in favour of indefinite detention without a trial really can just shut it.

      … also: this lot who talks of ‘western values’ has an odd notion as to just what those are.

      Seriously, and I’m on the record, somewhere far, far back there, back when they opened Guantanamo, just what an incredibly fucking stupid thing this was to do. And that, eventually, actually responsible states were going to have to suck it up, release people for whom there was no evidence or in cases in which they’d gone and tainted it with torture, and pay compensation…

      And if that sticks in the craw because you’re afraid you’re paying money to people who may, indeed, be security risks in the future, hey, here’s a wacky idea, just spitballing, here:

      Don’t torture people. Or detain them illegally.

    • Jonny On Maui

      Not enough ups for this.

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      So many people are so willing to tear down the very institutions terrorists seek to destroy for the sake of protecting themselves from terrorists.

    • Three Finger Salute

      Excellent post. Nobody will read it. Instead, “Justin sucks Muslim cock” accompanied by a Rebel Media video and a “Miss Me Yet?” with Harper, will get 10M “Likes.”

      Facebook is trash. See my commentary above about the Alternet article. The 400-pound inmates are running the asylum, from the relative comfort of their keyboards and golden-showered beds.

      Maybe they’ll listen to this meme instead, though I doubt it.

      https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/e0b563ac9b001a1a64d3fea0b35ac6ab7926f7994667bcf12a586aed8f8fc444.jpg

    • Martini Ambassador 🍸

      Seems a mite unfair for Canada to foot the settlement bill, when in fact it seems the US was responsible for the reprehensible actions.

      • Three Finger Salute

        Unfair, but the right thing nonetheless. Canada’s trademark is saying sorry for things that someone else did. (And it was in part Harper’s fault.)

  • Three Finger Salute

    The Final Solution will not be televised. It will be Tweeted, Liked, and Dank Memed.

    Forget “fake news”: The alt-right is taking over the Internet like it once did to talk radio — and hate memes could be the undoing of our democracy

    I’ve said it before. Mainstream media sources need to purge the comment sections of their website outlets, and Google needs to ditch the superfund site that is the YouTube peanut gallery. I am banned from Alternet for some reason (despite never having commented there), but one of the things I’d like to point out to this article’s author is that Vice News (which is cited in the article) was founded by notorious alt-right hipster douchebro Gavin McInnes, now Ezra Levant’s rent boy over at Canada’s version of Infowars, Rebel Media — which currently sits at 500K subscribers, far more than the paltry 6K/night average viewers its previous incarnation Sun TV had on any particular night.

    Not only do the deplorables in Rebel/Vice’s noncomments seep over to literally any video with the name Trudeau in it and start spewing their filth, but have taken over the CBC and the country’s newspapers — and are even harassing people “away from keyboard” too, as McInnes’ “Proud Boys” did at an indigenous protest on Canada Day, and Lauren Southern and Milo whatsisname did at a women’s rights event in Toronto last year.

    The Internet is no longer confined to its own “safe space” where nobody knows you’re a dog. Trump being installed by Russia (with help from self-radicalized sympathizers, manipulating the narrative to the point where CNN ended up reporting on Pepe the Frog and now this inane wrestling video) has emboldened these Magafreaks to the extent that they don’t care if everybody knows they’re rabid wolves on the warpath — and even take pride in people finding out they are.

    The Twitter founder’s nonpology for playing a role in creating this monster isn’t enough. Silicon Valley is a superfund site and a swamp that needs to be drained. Shut it down. Shut it all down.

    • Michael R
    • Delu

      The reason why these MAGAs are doing this is because they are getting away with it.

      If every one of them had to suffer for every single one of their stupid tweets you would not hear a peep out of them.

      But hey, that’s the drawback of the first amendment, indeed on ANY amendment when it is abused.

      These folk no longer seem to be restricted by the once default necessity that rights are to be accompanied by responsibility. It’s why they abuse their rights. No need to take responsibility.

      • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

        Well, why take responsibility? The ones who revel in it don’t care, and the ones who get called out know if they whine “victim of SJW” loud enough the wingnut welfare machine will throw sacks of cash at them.

    • ltmcdies

      agreed….it’s bloody enough. Half of this stuff is being mass produced anyway…

    • Oh. So THAT’S why Bill Maher produces that Vice show for HBO. . .

    • Royal Ugly Dude

      What are “comments?”

    • yesyesyesyesyes i have been saying this forever.

      i love the economist and have been reading for decades both print and online. around about bamz’ first election the comments became complete bullshit. i’ve been bugging them (and others) since to stop allowing them. they do nothing constructive.

      that being said, i wish wonkette would restore the comments section.

  • Nounverb911
    • Rick Hill

      Idk why no one ever thought of making these computational machines unhackable before. It just takes the genius of a master businessman and dealmaker to see the solutions that are in front of us, all along.

    • Panika MCD

      why do election hackers and many other negative things deserve guardianship?

  • Rick Hill
  • Nounverb911
  • Bill D. Burger

    To go upon the walls of all Trump resorts right next to the fake covers Benedict Donald commissioned:

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/233055c8f58fd304bb323e0ef304c8832e7bbc9cb8bd7403904ba632f1b5292a.jpg

  • Juan de Fuca

    “We primarily discussed a program about the adoption of Russian children that was active and popular with American families years ago and was since ended by the Russian government, but it was not a campaign issue at the time and there was no follow up.”

    The New York Times says, Not exactly, Jr.:

    Trump’s Son Met With Russian Lawyer After Being Promised Damaging Information on Clinton
    President Trump’s eldest son, Donald Trump Jr., was promised damaging information about Hillary Clinton before agreeing to meet with a Kremlin-connected Russian lawyer during the 2016 campaign, according to three advisers to the White House briefed on the meeting and two others with knowledge of it.
    The meeting was also attended by his campaign chairman at the time, Paul J. Manafort, and his son-in-law, Jared Kushner. Mr. Manafort and Mr. Kushner recently disclosed the meeting, though not its content, in confidential government documents described to The New York Times.

    https://www.nytimes.com/2017/07/09/us/politics/trump-russia-kushner-manafort.html

    • La forza del resistino

      What, Russian orphans were being held captive in the basement of Comet Ping Pong Pizza?

      • Juan de Fuca

        This is the most corrupt WH in history and we’re only six months in. I mean if this isn’t colluding with a foreign enemy to determine the outcome of our election…I’ll stop myself. It IS colluding with a foreign enemy to determine the outcome of our own election. Treasonous motherfuckers.

  • Bub, the truculent Zombie

    Very powerful. Money quote:

    I’m not saying lie down and die. I’m saying that it will be a miracle if America ever becomes scientifically inclined and peaceful, with levels of violence and discrimination that are less than horrifying. We’re the scariest species on the planet, but one of the hardest parts to wrap your head around is that the one country that constantly reminds all the others of its greatness, supremacy and awesome military power, which also professes to be the fairest and free-est, has some of the most unenviable statistics.

    If America’s the best country, you would think that all other countries would want to do the same thing, right? If all countries were like America, how many more years do you think the planet would be able to sustain life of any kind?

    USA is not only No. 1; it’s the only one.

    http://www.laweekly.com/music/henry-rollins-americas-real-safety-net-is-drugs-alcohol-cheap-food-and-free-porn-8392156

    • Three Finger Salute

      Number “2”, and I don’t mean pencils.

  • Bill D. Burger

    Crown Prince of Politwits demonstrates what impressed him the most about Putin: “There’s no problem there, I can guarantee you. You can believe me.”

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/1c5becc8dab10b9cbd3b4fcf3223112d2cf3caa64e413bdc4e0d661e5e8f31a9.jpg

    ~Vlad blushes~

    • TX Dept. of Space Tacos