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Ahoy! Let’s check in with the shadow president of our American hearts, Canadian god king Justin Trudeau, and see what he has been doing the past few weeks. Before the holiday, we were just cold staring at his crotch, because there he was on the cover of the Delta Airlines in-flight magazine, throwing his crotch at us. But it turns out that, according to Trudeau’s Twitter and Instaface, and according to his official photographer Adam Scotti’s Twitter, he has been acting sexxxy a whole bunch lately, because he just can’t stop himself.

Let’s start with a couple pictures of Our Justin being all cute with kids, so you can swoon appropriately. The first two are from Montreal, and in the third and fourth, he is at Toronto Pride, because he’s always at Toronto Pride, giving high fives to the ACTUAL WONDER WOMAN and making faces at a baby:

On Canada Day, Our Justin attended some big to-do with Prince Charles, and during that to-do, he sat next to his beautiful wife, Sophie, who was giving their little son Hadrien a bottle. This kid obviously did not care that he was hanging out with royalty, because PFFFFFFT:

Trudeau also said a romance message in French to his nation for Canada Day:

After Canada Day, it was time to go to Ireland. Look at Justin and Sophie Trudeau, getting out of their airplane all smug and beautiful like, “Guess what we’re NOT going to do when we descend these stairs? We’re NOT going to get lost on the way to our limousine like a weak and sad Donald Trump would.”

While in Ireland, Trudeau and Irish Prime Minister Leo Varadkar wore silly socks in each other’s general direction, because that is a thing cute world leaders do. Did you know Varadkar is a gay? Bet he liked going to work THAT DAY:

Today, the Trudeaus were in ENGELOND! Here is Mr. Sexypants just talkin’ tricks with the Queen, via, the Royal Family’s Official Tweeter:

And his trip continues! Next, Trudeau will go to the G20, where he will have to share space with stinky old Donald Trump. Hopefully we’ll get some delicious video of Our Justin defeating our idiot president at handshakes again, and if Trudeau can figure out a way to make a jerk-off motion behind Trump’s back and somebody catches it on video, Wonkette will give him one (1) shiny Canadian peso as a reward.

OK, those should be enough Justin Trudeau pictures for you to ogle. Also this is your open thread, so commence to yammering NOW.

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  • Latverian Diplomat

    Obviously a man who has no need to fear ball-sorting robots.

  • Joe Beese

    Our beloved Queen Elizabeth… always on the cutting edge of fashion.

  • Persistent Tennessee Rain

    YES! YES! YES!

  • Brenda met his dad too. Good taste, that woman

  • memzilla Ω

    Didn’t we used to have a leader we could admire? *sob*

  • Joe Beese

    1. There’s a new Kickstarter project called Amabrush.

    2. It’s shaped like a mouthguard, and it brushes your teeth all at once in 10 seconds.

    3. A removable handle makes the whole setup look like an adult pacifier. It’s what vibrates the “brush” mouthpiece and dispenses the toothpaste.

    4. The handle uses proprietary toothpaste capsules.

    … this is peak Kickstarter: a pod-based business model ($3 or so for about a month’s supply of toothpaste) due to an unconventional form factor (apparently the toothpaste needs to be specially formulated to squeeze out correctly) that solves a problem nobody knew they had (spending one or two minutes a day brushing their teeth instead of 10 seconds).

    https://www.theverge.com/circuitbreaker/2017/7/5/15925492/amabrush-automatic-toothbrush-mouthguard-pods-kickstarter

  • Edith Prickly
  • armed_bears

    OK… really? Imma call bullshit on brown shoes and blue suit though, right?

    • BadKitty904

      I agree, but on him it looks good, in a dorky sorta way. Plus that pic of him and Her Imperial Nibs looks like “Justin Visits His Grandma”.

    • Seek

      I’m rarely a fan of light brown dress shoes because I am old and unfashionable. It’s nice to know that I’m not alone in this but still – Hot and I agree with BadKitty that he looks to be making nice with his grandma. Although, she should be so lucky as to have any of her grandchildren have that much in the way of brains, much less hotness. On further thought, or all of them combined. They seem to be ready to go for some upper class twit of the year competition, and they could be serious contenders.

      • Jukesgrrl

        Obviously you haven’t been paying enough attention to Prince Harry, Afghanistan veteran, mental health advocate, creator of the Invictus Games, not to mention handsome and funny. Trudeau and Obama both seem to like him.

        • Seek

          He may have grown up into something not terrible but I’d need to see a DNA test to believe he’s a Windsor. Cute Ginger doesn’t scream Windsor to me. While that borders on conspiracy theory territory, I’d leap on it if I were him. Chuckles had nice causes as well. I just question how much of any of this they do for real and how much is for show.
          You can’t play polo and wander around Africa 24/7/365.

    • Persistent Tennessee Rain

      Its okay as long as your shoelaces match your suit color.

  • azeyote

    i hope your crush on the Trudeau doesn’t get you like all whatever, and forget what a blatant anti environmentalist and a true menace to our world his tar sands are –

    • Three Finger Salute

      Purity pony. He can’t just throw Alberta under the bus, lest he face another coal-country result like we had down here. The cons hate him with a burning passion and love Trump. Already half a dozen people have been arrested for threatening his life. He alienates Texas North and goes full “sunny ways” solar paneling overnight, at best he’d get turfed and at worst he’d get JFKed.

      He did say the tar sands would be “phased out.” That’s not even a platform; it’s a simple statement of facts and reality. The market itself is moving towards renewables no matter how much the Albertans stampede in place. He is very much committed to the Paris agreement, but is in a tricky situation where the moron to the south of him isn’t — and whose irrational attempts to save 20th century dirty-energy jobs because he believes climate change is a communist redistribution scheme by Europe and China — look very appetizing up there in oil country, and like a real winning stance for the Trump North party that despises Justin and hated his father.

      I mean, what do you want him to do? Wave a magic wand and make the present economy run on Canola oil?

  • BadKitty904

    Does Camilla always look like her otterhound just died? I mean, she was sitting next to Our Justin!

    • armed_bears

      “Otterhound’ reference = up vote.

    • anon_the_great

      You are right. She could have been cast in ‘Best in Show”

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Camilla is forever destined to just be the paramour of Charles, no HRH, nothing. Well, perhaps when Liz kicks off, Charles will change that. At the peril of going the way of Charles I.

    • Bill D. Burger

      She’s not been the same since she saw a performance of ‘Equus’ and took the attack on the horses personally.

      https://prejectedjokes.files.wordpress.com/2017/06/queen-liz.jpg

    • Pat_Pending

      I dunno, I sorta like Camilla. I don’t think she gives two shits, and she just likes Charles. That being said, poor otterhound.

  • canes_pugnaces

    And more in my ‘Comments from Breitbart’ series: RE: Trumpcare =>

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/abcb352964639880ade282deb056a2bad569f8d7325470d55af8c5f64e9aa356.png

    • jesterpunk

      They seem nice.

      • canes_pugnaces

        Very personable.

        • jesterpunk

          Bless their hearts.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        For once they’re being open and honest.

        • jesterpunk

          But if you show them that they will get mad and complain about liberal elites taking their words in context.

          • Villago Delenda Est

            Always a danger with this crowd. Because they’d rather not flaunt their inherent assholishness like this. Bad for the brand.

          • canes_pugnaces

            In fairness, I am forever banned from commenting there. Sad.

          • Villago Delenda Est

            I’m not surprised. Actual goodthink is practiced there religiously.

          • jesterpunk

            Well they do need their safe space for their frozen peaches. How else can they complain about censorship?

    • Crystalclear12

      Hmmm. . . wonder how long Typical has been on disability?

  • Villago Delenda Est

    I really can’t blame you, Evan, for your Justin-mania. I mean, look at the alternative south of the Border. Even the spawn are monsters.

    • BadKitty904

      They’re “obscurely deformed,” like Lovecraft characters.

  • Spurning Beer

    Mr. Trudeau deserves a citation for distinguished service whilst sitting next to Camilla Parker-Tampon-Bowles Windsor.

    • Yr. Gma

      “Rottweiler in a hat.”

  • UncleTravelingMatt

    Goddamned wingnuts. Every time I see a picture of Trudeau, I automatically think, “Thank Huitzilopochtli Obama never wore unserious socks — they’d still be screaming about it on Facebook.”

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Tan suit!

      /faint

    • BadKitty904

      They’d be screaming about it if he wore black socks or no socks at all. Which is why I wish he’d just ignored them and gotten on with what needed to be done.

      • UncleTravelingMatt

        ” . . . what needed to be done.” If the President does it in real life, is it a violation of the commenting rules?

  • TJ Barke

    And we’re stuck with that lumpy, orange, senile nightmare…

  • anon_the_great

    (hiding boner)

    MOM! KNOCK FIRST!

    • Joe Beese

      When I was 15, I asked Mother Beese to buy me the Christie Brinkley calendar. And not because I needed to know what day it was.

      She bought it. Thanks, Mom.

      • Shanzgood 2 Days

        I still occasionally throw boxes of condoms into my son’s room (I don’t like to go in there). Meantime, he’s responsible for his own spank bank.

        • Me not sure

          You’re a wise woman in many ways. My Dad was my condom connection.
          He said to be conscientious about using them and I was until that one time. I ended up doing a round of anti-biotics thanks to a girl from Guatemala that briefly caught my fancy. Never strayed again. Life lesson.

          • Shanzgood 2 Days

            I tell him my son they’re not just health reasons. You can cure an STI but parenthood is forever and you rightly don’t get a say in whether or not or your partner gives birth.

          • Joe Beese

            “Good judgment comes from experience. And experience comes from bad judgment.”

          • Me not sure

            Dad?

        • BosGrl

          My nephews are approaching that age and I’m not sure my sister is ready…

          • Shanzgood 2 Days

            When they were yoing, I also gave mine a cartoon-illustrated sexuality book they could use to explore their sex-feelimgs whether they were gay or straight on somewhere in between in case they didn’t want to talk to me about it. I hope it helped.

          • BosGrl

            I’m sure it did. :) I wouldn’t know what to give boys. My daughters got Our Bodies, Ourselves. Sis will probably let their dad handle it.

        • Joe Beese

          All he needs is an Internet connection to have access to more porn of every imaginable kink than was available to a billionaire in my day.

          (now get off my lawn)

  • elviouslyqueer

    And with that, I’m off to my bunk.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Sweet dreams!

  • msanthropesmr

    When will wonkette stop the objectification of Canadians?

  • msanthropesmr
    • armed_bears

      Thought bubble: “I coulda been an otterhound…. I just have no access to otters.”

      • msanthropesmr

        Aktual thought..
        “Get that cell phone outta my face hooman.”

    • memzilla Ω

      This is a dawg who is commanding you not to look for recent tunnelling under a concrete pad. #beanydigsforfreedom

  • baconzgood

    He’s like Super Dad to total stranger’s kids. Now I feel insecure about wearing the “world’s greatest dad” tee shirt my kids gave me 2 weeks ago.

    • BadKitty904

      Aww!

      • baconzgood

        Last year they gave me a shirt with a cooler on it and it said “awesome dad! Like a regular dad but cooler”

        Getit getit?

        • BadKitty904

          lol So, a sense of humor is inherited, then?

          • baconzgood

            They are strange and funny. And I encourage that. I tell them “no matter how old you get don’t ‘grow up’. Because when you grow up a little piece of fun inside you gets murdered”

    • House0fTheBlueLights
      • baconzgood

        If that’s your family I want to have a tea party with your little girl.

        Sooooo cute.

        • House0fTheBlueLights

          Hah,no, my kids (grownups akshully) are cute, but that’s a website/tumblr/instagram guy who stages these hilarious photos of his kids in disastrous situations with the label “World’s Greatest Dad”. Love those things.

  • BadKitty904
    • Pat_Pending

      Yes, please.

    • marxalot

      Are you sure that one on the far right isn’t a young k.d. lang?
      *saves for research purposes*

    • BosGrl

      Damn.

    • Persistent Tennessee Rain

      Oh my doodniss!

    • Amy!

      I have to admit, whenever I see pictures of Young Justin, I always wonder “was he one of the High School Asshole Crowd?” It would’ve been easy for him to fall into that: handsome, privileged, apparently athletic as well. Those were the ones to avoid at my school.

      • Three Finger Salute

        Actually no. He was the shy, sensitive type, apparently a bit of a late bloomer, and always a geek of sorts. Matthew Perry was the asshole, at least in grade 5. So were other kids who used to bully him with pictures of Maggie and rumors they spread around the school. (This from excerpts of his book, which I really have to get.) But Justin was adorkable.

        • Amy!

          That’s cool. It also explains how he manages to be so (apparently) empathetic, maybe?

  • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

    OT: I’m in the dregs now – looking through Craigslist’s “Gigs” sections for something approaching legal work.

    It’s scary in there.

    • Crystalclear12

      Avoid anything with the words: tarp and shovel.

      • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

        i present exhibit A:

        “women between 17 and 25: Odd but easy gig ($40 for 20 minutes) hide this posting

        compensation: 20 minutes: $40

        This gig doesn’t require nudity and it isn’t porn. You can earn 40 dollars for 15-20 minutes easily just email me with your age and a photo of you, and I will let you know the details. I will send a photo of me as well if you’d like.”

        • Crystalclear12

          Didn’t know serial killers advertised.
          Good to know.

        • BosGrl

          Ugh. I am going to be doing the job hunt in earnest next week. I feel like this is all I’m going to find :(

          • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

            buck up – y ou’re in a city with TONS of stuff going on. You’ll find plenty…this is just the dregs of the internet in a mid-sized texas town. It’s to be expected.

          • BosGrl

            I’m actually living about 30 minutes north now… which means a 2-hour round-trip commute to the city. I’m trying to find something up here. I wish us all luck!

    • Me not sure

      Man. You sound down. I wish I could help.

      • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

        thanks buddy, I need to be doing more, but the depression makes it hard to do anything.

        I did email the county about internships – cause the job thing just ain’t happening.

      • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

        also too, what hte hell is a “legal collective”? One needs a driver, but that’s just odd phrasing.

        • Me not sure

          I checked out Wikipedia on that and it sounds interesting. Take a looksee.

          • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

            thanks for the tip!

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      A whole bunch of people will be sitting for the bar in three weeks. They’ll need paralegals soon. Hang in there.

      • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

        thanks buddy! My mentor suggested i contact the County or District attorneys, cause their summer law clerks will be leaving soon.

  • Bill D. Burger

    Trump is prepping for his meeting with Putin.

    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DD_sx56XoAAQ7gJ.jpg

  • Nounverb911
    • Yr. Gma

      She was (and is) beautiful, She was the trophy wife, younger and gorgeous. She produced three really handsome sons (of which only two survive, sadly.)

      • calliecallie

        But Justin has a brother, doesn’t he? Is he a brother by another mother?

    • armed_bears

      Yes. At Studio 54, she gave Americans quite an intimate and surprising view of Canadians. Use the Google, young ones.

    • Riley Whodat Venable

      I still think Keith Richards may be his dad.

  • FDRliberal

    Short answer: Every single fucking day.

    https://twitter.com/ezlusztig/status/882704827096207360

    • Crystalclear12

      But her emails

    • BadKitty904

      Only when I’m awake.

  • Thorn Spike

    Two things:

    1) Camilla’s Rottweiler face;
    2) Her Maj greets the Canadian PM in her housecoat???

    • gallbladder

      I don’t think I’ve ever seen her offer up a genuine smile. To think that she might be queen (I’m no royalist, but fucking blech.)

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      She matches the chairs! What more could you ask for?

      • gallbladder

        Well, she is just as wooden.

        • Yr. Gma

          Do you hate all old ladies or just those who have more power than you?

          • Ill-Advised

            Thank you, YG!

    • BadKitty904

      In re: 2) – my brother refers to that sort of thing as “Talbots camo”…

      • Jukesgrrl

        Funny!

    • Royal Ugly Dude

      Rottweiler libel

      • Thorn Spike

        Diana referred to her as “The Rottweiler.”

      • Thorn Spike

        That was Princess Diana’s nickname for her. Camilla reportedly would answer the phone, “Rottweiler here.”

    • Yr. Gma

      Possibly you should send her your phone number so she can get your approval on her clothing choices.

    • MrTusks

      You tell her she needs to dress better. I’ll just stand back here near the door.

  • Pat_Pending

    I, as a citizen, am so jealous right now I can’t see straight.

    • gallbladder

      We’ll send a care package of beer, beaver tails, and back bacon.

      • Pat_Pending

        Can I have some maple candy too?

        • gallbladder

          No problem!

  • Indiepalin

    If Mick Jagger had screwed my mother, I’d be smiling too.

    • Yr. Gma

      I would prefer not to think about anyone screwing my mother, but I guess I’m weird that way.

    • William Cook for now

      Well if we’re questioning paternity,
      then your father smelled of elderberries.

    • Three Finger Salute

      Oh leave Maggie alone, she’s suffered enough.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
    • FDRliberal

      I wonder if RT and Fox “News” will soon apply for a merger to form Trump State News.

      • gallbladder

        You mean, they haven’t already?

      • ANNG14

        Scary thought.

    • WotsAllThisThen

      #TrumpPeeHookerBlackmail

    • jesterpunk

      Its a good thing the President never actually did anything like that. Oh wait.

      https://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/863007411132649473

  • Bill D. Burger

    And he’s smert’ also…too!

    [When he’s not busy being a feminist icon, refugee welcomer, paper dolland, it turns out, Canadian Prime Minister, Justin Trudeau finds time to be a quantum computing savant.
    At least that seemed to be the case on Friday when Canada’s top elected official was asked a question about the matter on Friday while on hand at Ontario’s Perimeter Institute for Theoretical Physics, the CBC reported,
    The question was meant as a joke, but it became anything but as Trudeau launched into a seemingly cogent disquisition about the field and why it was important — though some have now accused the Prime Minister of staging his remarks.
    “What quantum states allow for is much more complex information to be encoded into a single bit,” he said. “A regular computer bit is either a one or a zero, on or off, a quantum state can be much more complex than that because, as we know, things can be both particle and wave at the same time and the uncertainty around quantum states allows us to encode more information into a much smaller computer. That’s what’s exciting about quantum computing.”
    You got all that?
    http://big.assets.huffingtonpost.com/tassss12.gif

    https://mic.com/articles/141020/journalist-challenges-justin-trudeau-to-explain-quantum-computing-trudeau-nails-it#.Pgf9AvFq5

    Imagine Trump being asked that question!

    http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2015/10/01/16/2CF9AE6300000578-0-image-a-6_1443713757731.jpg

    • Joe Beese

      The cyber is very very important.

      • gallbladder

        Just ask Barron: He’s a whiz at the cyber.

    • Persistent Tennessee Rain

      Nobody knew quantum physics would be so hard.

    • William Cook for now

      This is what scares me the most about Trump. He is burning the government down over things like healthcare and tax reform, when in the next few decades we’re going to have to deal with existential threats to our species like CRISPR and the development of self-aware AI.

      Republicans are still arguing basic science, and they have no concept of the shit that is coming down the pipe. If we leave them in charge humanity will be completely unprepared to deal with the future. Hell, we just recently fully adjusted to the realities of global air travel, and we’re still years away from our society adapting to the existence of the internet.

      • Claire

        I take solace in the fact that they aren’t in charge of humanity, just of America. The rest of the world has left us behind in most ways already.

        • Three Finger Salute

          You forget they have nukes and fap over the book of Revelation.

          • Claire

            Yeah, that’s a problem. To my knowledge the rest of the world has never actually had to take nukes away from a country because it turned into a theocratic rogue state and regressed to the stone age without even having to be bombed back to it. At some point we may well see how that would turn out.

    • Riley Whodat Venable

      Fields, I have the best fields. I bought one in Scotland and made a golf course.

  • Rasilom
  • jaspersdad
    • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

      Trump received honorary bucket of chicken.

      • bupkus231

        feet and necks….

    • Joe Beese

      10 points for Gryffindor!

    • Three Finger Salute

      So that’s Dr. Trudeau now. As opposed to Donnie, who is both a symptom of a greater social sickness and a disease.

  • TheGrandWazoo2

    He seems nice. For reals.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
    • Persistent Tennessee Rain

      He’s such a douche.

      • BadKitty904

        The road-apple doesn’t fall far from the horse’s ass.

      • therblig

        and the bag it came in.

    • suziq

      Out of curiosity, what the fuck exactly is Jr yammering about? Oh yeah, I do not care.

  • Blackest Noobs

    speaking from a purely aesthetic point of view, Trudeau is one fine piece of man meat.
    oddly our more superiorly awesome leader looks like a fat slob in comparison. USA! USA!

    • BadKitty904

      Except for the “looks like” part.

  • jaspersdad

    At the palace of Holyroodhouse.

    “It was as it often is, as it always is, a warm and engaged conversation in which she displayed knowledge and interest on a wide range of global affairs and goings-on in Canada,” Trudeau said. “It’s always a pleasure to meet with her.”

    https://i.cbc.ca/1.4191191.1499272678!/cpImage/httpImage/image.jpg_gen/derivatives/16x9_620/britain-canada-royal.jpg

    • Jukesgrrl

      Did you tell her you liked her PJs?

      • jaspersdad

        She’s the Queen of England. She can dress however she likes.

        • Yr. Gma

          You tell ’em. She’s also an old, and she has earned the right to give no fucks about what some person in America thinks of her wardrobe.

          • Joe Beese

            Middle age has turned out to be, at best, a mixed bag. But there is the undeniable benefit of going from pretending not to care what people think of you to actually not caring.

    • BadKitty904

      Then she served tea and bickies.

      • therblig

        and ordered him to walk the corgis

  • Carpe Vagenda
    • BadKitty904

      Um, Republicans have been betraying the trust of American citizens for longer than I’ve been alive.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        Nixon onwards. Every last one of them.

        • BadKitty904

          At least.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
    • jesterpunk

      So there are paid supporters?

    • WotsAllThisThen

      Because of course they will. This is a man who needs the kind of warm reception that only a Soviet-era crowd control strategy can provide.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        When he visits Pyongyang, he should get a great crowd!

    • BadKitty904

      But it will be the biggest bussed-in crowd of paid supporters ever! Stupendous! Really great!

    • gallbladder

      Hmmm, seems I’ve seen this kind of social airbrushing before. Oh yeah! Munich 1936.

    • therblig

      a Pro-Trumpkin Village?

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      I would have thought the Poles would be touchy about large groups of Russians traveling together.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      I am so surprised at this.

      /yawn

  • Bobathonic

    I remember those days, so long ago, when the American president was a decent man.

    • GreenGoldSharpie

      In the long long ago. In the before time.

  • armed_bears
  • Jukesgrrl

    Do you notice how babbies and toddlers seem to delight in interaction with both Trudeau and Obama? They instinctively know who their friends are.

  • Nasty Candy Apple

    Stop making me fall in love with Justin EVEN MORE!

  • Rick Hill

    Handsome. Big deal. If he were really effective he would be corrupting the American democratic process the way Putin does.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Yo, Ivanka? You know how you said your daddy is a champion for women?

    https://twitter.com/CraigRozniecki/status/882719278490951685

    • gallbladder

      So much winning.

    • BadKitty904

      Well, he’s consistently a pig.

    • OutOfOrbit

      No gender gap in St. Obama’s WH by golly.

      • suziq

        Nobody said there wasn’t, but tripling it is not moving in the right direction. Though I am sure Ivanka will be all over that in no time at all.

    • Joe Beese

      A man with a tie that long is desperately insecure about something.

    • Augustus

      she is faaaake fake fake fake fake just like the rest of that FAKE NEWS family.

    • Riley Whodat Venable

      Ivanka was speaking today about Paid Leave. How much do you think we have to pay her to leave?

  • aureolaborealis

    OT: My father-in-law, who is an old-guard Republican, and who I haven’t asked about his vote in November because I don’t want to know, has spent the bulk of his visit so far reading my collection of New Yorkers. I am declaring some sort of victory.

    • therblig

      is he almost laughing at the cartoons? he might be a closet liberal.

      • BadKitty904

        Well spotted.

      • aureolaborealis

        He loves the cartoons.
        Yesterday, he was reading the fiction piece in a particular issue (!), and shared a particularly overwrought, page-long sentence that he was choking on. I choked on it, too. Probably should read the rest of the story because I had no context to make sense of it.

      • Thiazin Red

        Are you supposed to? I was under the impression you looked at them and went “huh”.

      • aureolaborealis

        He is definitely not a Trump person and has approached politics lately only obtusely and with an increasing existential sadness.

      • OutOfOrbit

        I have a liberal closet!

      • azeyote

        it’s those liberal institutions of higher education that trickles down – best to get him out of there immediately before he calls Bernie –

  • Greg Comlish

    I find the fatuous Trudeau fandom creepy. Trudeau is a politician. Sometimes he undermines my interests (eg he strongly supports Keystone XL) and sometimes he does good things (eg he speaks out against bigotry). But this squealing about his kitschy socks and his photogenic appearance and his impromptu speech on quantum computing is just gross.

    • therblig

      wow. you sure told us.

    • Bobathonic

      Read them every time, anyway. Every word.

    • OutOfOrbit

      And swooning over hawt wimmens is frowned on here.

      • Lance Thrustwell

        No it ain’t. I do it sometimes. Just not that many posts of hot liberal wimmenz. Not sure why, come to think of it.

        • William Cook for now

          Oh, when those Maddow threads roll around I am there

      • ⭐️Most Accurate Poster 2017⭐️

        There has never been any mention of side-boob on Our Wonkette.

      • William Cook for now

        Let’s not get into how sexual objectification isn’t a two way street because for one group of people that objectification ruins and endangers lives.

        Instead, how about this? Appreciation is only objectification if you objectify the person. You can admire someone’s looks without reducing them to their looks, and that’s fine.

        Also too we are here for to find humour some sort and in these dark times poking fun at our collective physical attraction to a public figure is a good source of thatm

    • Royal Ugly Dude

      You’re gross!!1

    • suziq

      You are entitles to your opinion, but you are in the minority around here. We used to have a US president that was nice and fun to look at and all that. I certainly did not agree with everything he did and I do not agree with Trudeau’s support for all the oils and pipelines but we have to have something man!!

    • Lance Thrustwell

      Oh, let Evan have his crushes. It’s cute and we like him. So there.

    • ⭐️Most Accurate Poster 2017⭐️

      Evan’s thirst-posts cross boundaries and bring the people together.

    • La forza del resistino

      Got your point. We’ll restrict Canadian ogling to the Ryan clan from here on
      https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/a8421739488a733b08e2d1e33327f98f475a0274c3a0787384d662e415bdfd05.jpg

      • Joe Beese

        Are “The Two Ryans” the new “The Two Coreys”?

        Discuss.

        • janecita

          No, because out of the two Coreys only one was good looking.

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      Yeah. If Evan doesn’t confine his writings to subject matter I approve of, I’m gonna . . . I’m gonna comment disapprovingly.

    • Stulexington

      The Beaverton did a cute piece about Trudeau filing 35 million workplace harassment complaints because of it. Unfortunately it seems to have been deleted.

    • Kiri the Unicorn

      I’ve tried getting everybody to talk about how nice my ass is instead, but no luck.

      https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/9445b11d491fea81a56de4cf630b1e88d620d016b7ac02a48632ec7cfc709e10.jpg

      *shrug* Whattayagonnado?

      • Yr. Gma

        Nice ass, Kiri.

        • Kiri the Unicorn

          hee hee! Thank you, darlin’!

    • Yr. Gma

      To each his own and all that. Maybe you shouldn’t open posts by Evan that have “Trudeau” in the title. Just saying.

    • Panika MCD

      someone doesn’t appear to have a fun bone in their body.

    • Vecchioivan
    • Claire

      How interesting. Why do you believe anyone cares?

      • Greg Comlish

        The editors of Wonkette likely do care what their readers and financial supporters feel about their content.

        • Claire

          Good, because as one of their readers and financial supporters, I completely support their decision to have as many Justin Trudeau posts as they want.

          • Greg Comlish

            Support it all you want. Write Wonkette a letter every day saying you want more fatuous Justin Trudeau posts. That’s your prerogative.

    • Persistent Tennessee Rain

      In a shitty world, he’s a nice distraction. Why would you deny anyone that?

      • Gigglesnort

        In particular, it is nice to be distracted from contemplating the Orange Satan for a little while, while being reminded that some countries have non-gross, non-criminal, non-hate-mongering people heading their government.

    • janecita

      I’m with you, the Trudeau fandom is VERY creepy, on the other hand the Macron fandom is totally on point. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/598b514b4b30abb778c97a69dd69a47fbe6c76710957974efda03c029871754a.jpg

  • Mr. Blobfish

    But did stop at any of his resorts or golf courses because he is a tremendous businessman?

  • La forza del resistino

    Donald just deplaned in Warsaw and impresses his hosts on the tarmac by asking ‘Dude, where’s my car’ in Polish.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Leaving you good Wonkers for now with an enraging must read (link is in the tweet):

    https://twitter.com/finneyk/status/882719931414048768

    • Thiazin Red

      Lets see, I will guess that no less than 50% of the comments are some variation on “she should just not be on the internet if she doesn’t want to see mean things”

    • Joe Beese

      Sadly, the culture of sexism permeates tech from bottom to top. And Silicon Valley is only starting to acknowledge this cancer in its culture.

      http://where.coraline.codes/blog/my-year-at-github/

    • C4TWOMAN

      Great quote from a guy in the comments:

      Here’s a tip on adulting: it is possible to disagree with someone and not threaten to rape her.

      Whodda thought?

  • ahughes798

    Thank you, Evan!

  • jaspersdad

    The EPA is planning a series of debates to refute climate change science. I’m all for it.

    Let’s hope that the debating format reflects the reality of the situation. 10 climate change scientists to 1 denier.

    https://arstechnica.com/science/2017/06/epa-intends-to-form-red-team-to-debate-climate-science/

    • Royal Ugly Dude

      Good, then maybe NASA can sponsor a debate to question whether the moon landings really happened.

      • BadKitty904

        Then a debate to question whether the earth is really flat.

      • jaspersdad
        • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

          Fuckin’ Aye!

        • Joe Beese

          Shot him down like a MiG-15!

    • Stulexington

      Ha! It’ll be one denier vs Bill Nye the Science Guy.

      • William Cook for now

        Please no, for all his virtues he has a knack for publicly losing debates to idiots.

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      Well that’s scientific. {{{SMDH & RMFE}}}

      Science is not decided by debate, morons. Science is decided by EVIDENCE, dipshits!

      • William Cook for now

        Well kinda both. Results are derived through evidence but the implications are often debated at length.

      • jaspersdad

        There aren’t many that would debate the evidence that Scott Pruitt is a moron.

    • OutOfOrbit

      Yeah like that’ll happen with (R) picking the panel.

  • Elendira

    I believe that the dark woman in the 2nd photo with her hands on her forehead is proably is public relations person / official Spokesperson:

    “Please God, Don’t drop the toddler, Please god, don’t drop the toddler, Please God, Don’t drop the toddler Please God, Don’t drop the toddler Please God, Don’t drop the toddler Please God, Don’t drop the toddler!”

  • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

    “In odd news today, at around 5:20 this afternoon a large number of liberal Americans were seen heading to their bunks after checking out their favorite mommy blog/recipe site’s most recent post. We’ll update as the news comes in.”

  • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

    Thanks you guys for helping me oh so muchly feel so inadequate as an overweight old nerd with all of those Justin Trudeau pics. I think I’ll go read some Trump articles so that I can feel better about myself.

    something something eat worms.

    /s, actually.

  • Joe Beese
  • Beautiful Soup

    I heard him say “you’re all welcome in Canada.” Are youtubes legally binding?

    • jaspersdad

      There is a fast track for skilled applicants. I read recently of a couple from SC that are moving to Halifax 7 months after applying.

      • BadKitty904

        I can juggle and I’m a pretty fair cook. Does that count? Plus I’m a runt, so I don’t take up much room.

  • Cock Blockula

    So glad it is close to the end of my workday since I am about to get nothing accomplished thanks to Evan. (Really, THANK YOU, Evan! I need the escape from both work and reality right now…)

  • calliecallie

    Just watching Justin speaking is provocative enough, but watch him while listening to him speaking French is, like, stimulus overload.

  • armed_bears
    • Doug Langley

      “It breaks the law!!”

      “So . . . what’s your point?”

      • armed_bears

        IOKIYAR…. i guess…

  • memzilla Ω

    My long-time friend Mark invited me over for delicious smoker+grill BBQ and besides serving up the entire spectrum of July 4th victuals, gifted me with MANY MEATS to take home (PS: hats off to the training of the black Labrador who sniffed my bag at the Staten Island Ferry and said the dawg equivalent of “Meh”). I admit to having delicious pulled pork sammiches (plural) for BREAKFAST. *hangs head* I have had delicious pork ribs for lunch and dinner and am now growing a curly tail. #worthit

    • Courser_Resistance

      Oooh, lucky you! I’m envious! I haven’t made pulled pork yet this year…

      • marxalot

        I just got a slow cooker and that is one of the first things going into it so help me

        • Courser_Resistance

          That’s how I do them too. They always turn out great.

  • The difference between a garbanzo bean and a chickpea to Donald Trump?

    Trump’s never had a garbanzo bean on his face.

    Stolen shamelessly from WaPo’s comments.

  • calliecallie
    • jaspersdad

      That is very good.

    • WomanInThePersistence

      I adore Randy Rainbow!

  • Doug Langley

    1. Attended 4th July potluck yesterday. Lots of fun.
    2. Got violent food poisoning. Spent today barfing and diarrhea.
    3. Think I’m about over it. Sitting down to my first meal of the day, homemade veggie soup.

  • Villago Delenda Est

    Too good not to share:

    Florida man, 20, falls to death at Crater Lake National Park

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/f906249ac86bc5a29f6112359d603d328529a1a802aef92192b6f151f9427571.jpg

    • IdiokraticDrumpfenResistance

      That should appease the gods for another year or so.

    • Bill D. Burger

      I remembered this from May:

      [UNION CREEK, Ore. (AP) May 25, 2017— A man has survived a roughly 1,000-foot (304-meter) fall into the Crater Lake caldera.

      The Mail Tribune reports a 22-year-old had been rescued by helicopter and taken to a nearby hospital Sunday.]
      http://www.statesmanjournal.com/story/news/2017/05/25/man-survives-1-000-foot-fall-crater-lake/346434001/

      All depends on the angle, I suppose. Florida man fell 60+’
      ManO’Man! The trails are there for a reason and people often just ignore them.

  • baconzgood

    I figure this is the open discussion for the night. Since Wonkette is my social network (facetwitterspace sucks) I just want to say. I’m meeting Shan in her home town (?) of Wichita on friday. Never mind that flying is something I dislike very much (watch the Gremlin episode of Twilight Zone Shatner) no matter how many times I do it. I’m more nervy about her’s kids liking me. Plus also too, I want her to like me more.

    These long distance 21st century relationships are full of pitfalls. I just hope I don’t fuck it up. One of Baconz girlfriends described dating me, years later, “it was like being in a plane crash. It was a HELL of a ride but I knew it would end bloody”

    I’m a disappointment to women. I don’t want to be like that to her. So good vibes for me and Shanzgood. And me not freaking out on a plane because I have a touch of claustrophobia.

    • Yr. Gma

      It will be a good time for all, and you need to not worry so much.

      • baconzgood

        I worry. I blow things like this

    • BadKitty904

      DEEP breaths, be calm, be yourself. You like Shan, Shan likes you. The rest is window-dressing.

      • baconzgood

        Bad kitty…..you are a good kitty. A very good kitty *rubbing your back and ears*

        And Baconz doesn’t even like cats

        • BadKitty904

          Just passing along the advice my Dad gave me when I started dating. Y’all cut yourselves plenty of slack and refuse to fret about “what-ifs”.

    • TJ Barke

      Someone is willing to give you a shot. So, in general, you’re way ahead of me.

      • baconzgood

        You’ll find a weird girl. It took me 40+ years. It’s like fishing. Patients….and a lot of drinking

    • Doug Langley

      Tip for flying: be sure to open the window shade and look out as much as possible.

      https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/330e6b8a3c085e5885daadac799706caddbc30ced9346692cd41cb765999405e.jpg

    • Panika MCD

      you’ll be fine. Tsarina Gremlin can’t even find his limo at the bottom of the stairs, so he won’t be able to privatize the FAA while pissing off everyone at the G20.

      signed,
      yes, I’ve seen the episode, know about the guy whose head was chopped off and lost my dad and grandfather in a plane crash–but I still only fear missing my flight ’cause TSA likes to give me extra attention

    • William Cook for now

      Long distance relationships are so hard. Partly because you spend so much time worrying about things that are nothing. I’m sure you’ll be fine. :)

    • President in Exile Firefly

      You know she can hear you, right?

      • baconzgood

        Yeah…I want her to know I’m not a complete ass hole.

    • Up In Smoke O’hontas

      If you’ve disappointed womenz in the past they were probably just the wrong womenz. You just be you, and remember to compliment her eyebrows and laugh at her jokes.

      • baconzgood

        I prefer looking at her forehead (that gives her that illusion of eye contact), nodding saying “yes dear” over and over while I think of minor league hockey fights.

    • Komsumverweigerer Ron

      Bit late in the day for the advice, but next time can you go by train? It takes a lil longer and usually costs a bit more, but it’s relaxing and stylish and endlessly fascinating.
      And Blank Ron’s Rule for Dealing With Kids: be yourself. Don’t condescend, don’t oversell yourself, just be pleasant and honest and do what you can to learn about THEM, and share what you can. Kids have incredibly accurate bullshit detectors, so don’t try and fool ’em.
      Plus – stop WORRYING. You care deeply about each other, and you’re both going spla thinking you’re gonna disappoint each other, and that’s just DUMB, man. Enjoy being together. Everything else is gravy. It really is.

      • baconzgood

        No time for the train. Baconz has to saturate as much time as I can with Shanz.

        Her kids are older and mucher lest stranger than mine.

        As for her….she is neat.

  • John Iwaniszek

    My late mother had a night dress like that.

    • John Iwaniszek

      She and he Queen were said to have very good taste.

    • Yr. Gma

      Your mother was the Queen of England?

  • Riley Whodat Venable

    I think PM Sexyman would flip off Pres. Trump in several pictures for a price. But I think you should go up to 2 Ameros. That way he can buy a pint while in Hamburg.

  • Cousin Itt de La Résistance
  • marxalot

    It’s my first day back at work this week, and I’m about an hour out from “go home” time, trying to make sure I’m prepared for the full day of meetings I have tomorrow. Listening to the Ventures et al on the internet music machine. I like how Trudeau seems absolutely delighted to meet Queen Liz. That seems pretty common, no matter how hard you are.

  • Thiazin Red

    What did people do for the holiday?

    I for one watched all of the Rifftrax for the Twilight series, still the best stuff they’ve done, and had a bunch of wine. I did take an hour off to let the cat play outside, I do not trust him to go out unsupervised.

    • Doug Langley

      Got food poisoning at the bosses potluck, thank you very much.

      • Up In Smoke O’hontas

        You’re summer has been full of surprises!

    • SayItWithWookies

      Watched some Wimbledon action with MPeg, played with dog and various cats, tried an out-of-our-rut place for dinner, listened to fireworks. A possibly boring sounding, yet highly agreeable day.

    • WomanInThePersistence

      Drank wine and tried to comfort my fireworks-hating dog.

    • Komsumverweigerer Ron

      Messed up three fingers of my left hand on a table saw. So, nothing special.

  • Jennifer R

    Hobby Lobby illegally imports 4500 artifacts and calls it an “accident”.

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      There are no accidents; only women who are irresponsible. Oh, wait, is this about something else?

      • alpacapunchbowl

        It’s Hobby Lobby, so no.

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      They just sort of *fell* into the crates, right?

    • Bill D. Burger

      “Honest to God your honor, he ran around the corner into my knife. It was an accident.”

      Judge: “23 times in the back?”

    • SayItWithWookies

      It’s a freedom of religion issue — if you have a “passion for the Bible,” you’re allowed to take any antiquities you want. Says so right there in John Roberts’ upcoming decision about the case.

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      Iraqi antiquities? Sounds less like “illegally imports” and more like “loots”.

      • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

        Phat loots?

    • Doug Langley
    • Panika MCD

      didn’t this happen 2 years ago, but they were buying them from ISIS?

      • UncleTravelingMatt

        Zealots gotta stick together.

    • Komsumverweigerer Ron

      Whoops! I’ll bet they feel pretty silly now!

  • Raan

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/81a0dfc895118b36b7d34e5ec1a3fe8291c3935945d81dd967740a0b2e22a345.jpg

    Homemade chicken strips and store-bought tater tots (I don’t even know how you would begin to make your own tater tots).

    • Cousin Itt de La Résistance
    • PixieThis

      If I said easy….

      Actually, you shred potatoes and onions and mix with spices, then spread in a brownie or sheet cake pan (or any pan) and then chill, cut into little rectangles and fry. Also, you can put a layer of potato then a layer of ooey goodness and then another layer of potato mix and make stuffed tots.

      • jowgajen

        If you are going to do this, then just cut them into sandwich sized pieces, fry on either side in hot oil and then use either as the “bun” for a burger or as a burger topping. Also an excellent base for an eggs benedict. Just saying.

    • Well, you start with a mommy potato and a daddy potato . . . . .

    • Thiazin Red

      I feel like making your own would be way too much work, and wouldn’t turn out as well as store bought ones.

    • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

      Rcipe for tater tots:

      ingredients
      car keys
      credit card

      directions
      go to store
      buy tater tots

      • jowgajen

        Or in my neighborhood:

        ingredients
        house keys
        cash or credit card

        directions
        Cross street, looking both ways.
        Buy cheese and chili covered tots from local food truck sitting outside of local bar.
        Ask for hotsauce and onions.
        Go inside and order a beer to wash the tots down with.
        Repeat.

  • jesterpunk

    Bullshit, you knew exactly what you where doing.

    http://www.nbcnews.com/politics/congress/congressman-criticized-making-video-auschwitz-gas-chamber-n779691

    The Republican congressman from Louisiana who filmed a video inside a former gas chamber at the Auschwitz death camp apologized Wednesday for making the tape after he was condemned by Jewish groups for insensitivity.

    “I filmed the Auschwitz message with great humility. My intent was to offer a reverent homage to those who were murdered in Auschwitz and to remind the world that evil exists, that free nations must remember, and stand strong,” freshman Rep. Clay
    Higgins, R-La., said in a statement.

    “My message has caused pain to some whom I love and respect. For that, my own heart feels sorrow. Out of respect to any who may feel that my video posting was wrong or caused pain, I have retracted my video…and my sincere apology for any unintended pain is extended,” added Higgins.

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      Ah, yes. “I’m sorry if you were offended, because you didn’t understand”. How trite.

      • jesterpunk

        They always seem to use that bullshit line. “Its your fault for being offended not my fault for doing this offensive thing”.

    • Jamoche

      “I’m sorry that some people may be upset” is a classic non-apology. There’s absolutely nothing of “I know I did something wrong” in it.

    • hudson srinivasan

      i saw this in the morning. wanted to ask. how the fuck does one take the example of nazi holocaust and turn it to a narrative of modern day america, especially while being simultaneously egged on by the kkk and sundry other neo-nazis? how?

      non-commenter formerly known as not_vh no pants.

      • Finnibar87

        I wager most Americans don’t know that the Red Army liberated most concentraion camps.

        Sure, they then imprisoned political people in them after, because the camps were right THERE.

        still.

    • Doug Langley

      “The United States is more accessible to terror like this”

      Oh mah Gawd! The terrusts are smuggling gas ovens into our great country?

      • alpacapunchbowl

        I guess the terrorists are already here, because every apartment I’ve ever lived in had a gas stove.

        • Doug Langley

          Mine, too! PANIC!!!!!!!!

  • UncleTravelingMatt

    Flying a drone over a wildfire? It’s assholes all the way down.

    http://www.spokesman.com/stories/2017/jul/04/drone-pilot-could-face-charges-for-flying-near-wil/

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      We had that happen with a wildfire last year. People were like “It’s a drone! How could it hurt something like a helicopter?”
      Yeah, because rotor blades and windscreens are totally designed to withstand foreign object damage.

      • UncleTravelingMatt

        It’s not like those guys are busy doing anything important. Just fly around the drone.

      • Pax Americana Per Ars Smith

        Most helicopters have turbine engines. Suck a drone in and down it goes. Into a wildfire.

    • Doug Langley

      And I’m sure those updrafts couldn’t possibly make flying the thing unpredictable.

    • Ωbjectifier

      http://www.azcentral.com/story/news/local/arizona-wildfires/2017/07/01/arrest-made-drone-flights-over-goodwin-fire/446080001/

      This was in Prescott AZ, where 19 firefighters were killed four years ago. It takes a special kind of stupid…

  • Finnibar87

    Now? It’s a very hot day.

    What with the sexy as fuck Justin Trudeau looking so good.

    So.good.

    • Joe Beese

      We’re under an official Heat Advisory here.

      Which is bureaucratic language for “too fucking hot”.

      • Finnibar87

        Ouch!

        My fingers!

      • UncleTravelingMatt

        Elev 875 ft 46.41 °N, 117.02 °W | Updated 3 min ago

        Clear
        Clear
        108.8 °F
        Feels Like 112 °F
        N0.2
        Wind Variable

        • Joe Beese

          I’ll leave you in your own private Idaho then.

      • Panika MCD

        we had one of those last week. we survived. there are children in Mali without AC.

  • Shanzgood 2 Days

    Baconz will be here in 2 days and my kitchen is still a disaster!

    • Raan

      If it’s any consolation, mine is too because we cleaned up the living room this weekend and didn’t think that the garbage would be coming yesterday because of the 4th of July.

      • Shanzgood 2 Days

        Mine looks like squatters live here.

      • Bobathonic

        When do you usually get garbage delivered?

        • Shanzgood 2 Days

          Mine comes at night when I’m asleep.

      • Pax Americana Per Ars Smith

        I live like a hoarding crackhead!

    • memzilla Ω

      What wimmenz call a kitchen “disaster” is what men call “my kitchen’s never been this clean!”

      • Shanzgood 2 Days

        No he’s “kitchens need to be perfect” and mines…not

        • Up In Smoke O’hontas

          Break all the light bulbs and chloroform him at the door just to be safe.

          • Shanzgood 2 Days

            I was gonna do that anyway for other reasons

          • Up In Smoke O’hontas

            You’re way ahead of the game then!

      • Finnibar87

        There is a pervasive fear in my household of the dishwasher.

      • Doug Langley

        Dave Barry: “Women can detect dirt at the microscopic level, where men don’t notice until it’s large enough to support commercial agriculture.”

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      Is any part of it on fire?
      No?
      Then it’s fine!

    • jesterpunk

      You two are so cute, both worried about little things the other might not like.

      • Shanzgood 2 Days

        I liked his thing he thought was little but actually wasn’t. Maybe it’ll be the same about my kitchen.

        • WomanInThePersistence

          I am thinking that he’s coming to visit you, not your kitchen.

          • Shanzgood 2 Days

            But among other things he likes to cook. So.

          • WomanInThePersistence

            So do triage – just wipe down the counters, mop the floors, toss anything furry from the fridge, and hide the miscellaneous crap in the basement or wherever. And breathe! And remember he loves you.

          • Shanzgood 2 Days

            Working on it! Thanks, dearie!

            (Basement and attic are off limits)

          • WomanInThePersistence

            Atta girl! “Beware of the Leopard” signs might be helpful.

        • OutOfOrbit

          Do tell…?

          • Shanzgood 2 Days

            Yeah, no. He’s like “no really?” and I’m like “yeah really” and that’s about it.

          • OutOfOrbit

            You are becoming a regular sweetie-pie. (Not snarking you.)

    • hudson srinivasan

      i dont know.

      mebbe you’ll scrub dishes together, or stir the pot together ala ghost make the pot together.

      i myself trapped my missus by ‘expertly’ solving her cockroach problem in her basement apartment with foam insulation. the landlord was furious but the missus and her room-mate very mighty impressed.

      as red green says. if the women don’t you handsome, they should atleast find you handy.

      • Finnibar87

        A lady loves a handy man.

      • Shanzgood 2 Days

        I hope he’s ok with ants.

    • BadKitty904

      Now, now. He’s coming to see you, not your kitchen.

    • Burn it down and start over

    • Komsumverweigerer Ron

      Do you have time to move?

      • Shanzgood 2 Days

        Maybe I could burn it down.

  • Joe Beese
    • Bill D. Burger

      Fun fact: Queen Elizabeth served more time in the military than Trump and all of his family members…..combined!

      • Royal Ugly Dude

        Trumpy lived through his own personal Vietnam.

        • OrdinaryJoe

          But he was doused with agent orange makeup.

      • OrdinaryJoe

        There is no doubt the Brits tolerate their children, love their dogs and adore the Queen. I get the children and dogs parts.

    • Finnibar87

      Elizabeth II was a mechanic during the war.

      Tough old bird.

      • Jamoche
        • Finnibar87

          Her mother?

          Down in the tube with her subjects during the Blitz.

          • OrdinaryJoe

            Phillip was no standing on the dock sailor. He served on warships in the Pacific, Atlantic and Mediterranean theaters and was involved in combat in all three. Probably the most unnerving was convey escort duty between Australia and India. I’m no fan of the royals but there is no doubt the older ones did their duty.

          • Younger ones also too. William did some fly boy stuff and Harry twice went on the DL to go to Afghanistan with his squad thingy.

        • Joe Beese

          I prefer 1st Subalterns.

    • Courser_Resistance

      My mom looked at bit like the Queen when they were both young. I never realized it until I saw some pics of her and my dad in Paris in 1954 (before I existed)

  • IdiokraticDrumpfenResistance

    Here is an actual false flag incident, but I doubt Alex Jones will be reporting on it: http://www.rawstory.com/2017/07/false-flag-trump-supporter-vandalized-a-school-with-liberal-hate-speech-to-frame-detractors/

  • Bill D. Burger

    Little taste of coming attractions.

    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DEARX68VYAM0oAn.jpg

    • Finnibar87

      It won’t be anything more than Trump being an idiot and Vlad raising exactly one eyebrow.

    • RobKanC

      Less dick. Sad!

  • Bill D. Burger

    Keep this one handy for the time after the meeting.

    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DEAW5umXYAAYakX.jpg

  • Joe Beese

    After Backing Trump, Christians Who Fled Iraq Fall Into His Dragnet

    https://www.nytimes.com/2017/07/04/us/iraqi-christians-deport.html

    • Joe Beese
      • ariel_gee_398

        I wonder if the community’s response will include working with other targeted communities, or are they still in “fuck you, me first” mode?

      • CptnEng2311

        People, faces, leopards, etc…

    • Blackest Noobs

      stupid Christians…always sooo willing to fall for a con-man’s bullshit.

    • RobKanC

      And these ppl are not even white. The overwhelming white nationalism in Trump campaign did not clue them in. Fuck them

    • SayItWithWookies

      I’m going to write the real Trump anthem — the title will be “I Thought He Was Lying to Everyone But Me.”

      • WomanInThePersistence

        “Leopards…
        Who eat faces
        are the happiest leopards
        In the wooooorld.”

        • Kiri the Unicorn

          Haiku time!

          Leopards eat your face
          Just like you told them to do
          When you voted Trump

    • Three Finger Salute

      “Just the fake news, ma’am. Just the fake news.”

      Mr. Not President, you’re no Joe Friday.

  • Mr. Blobfish

    Donald Fucking Trump. I still can’t believe that someone who never wanted to be president and hates being one managed to bullshit his way into office.

    • Finnibar87

      And hasn’t the diplomatic corps to keep a war from happening.

    • Doug Langley

      The Titanic. The Hindenburg. The Challenger. The Electoral College . . .

      • Bzzzz. I know the question Alex. What are tragedies that did less damage than Donald Trump?

  • RobKanC

    So we gonna pretend we are south Canada for the next 3.5 years. Is that what we gonna do.

    • I have been dreaming of that since November!

    • hudson srinivasan

      i know.

    • AnnieGetYerFun

      I regularly imagine that I am laboring under Trudeau, if that’s what you mean.

    • Panika MCD

      some of us are. most of us are going to just ogle Justin Trudeau while he’s still in the public spotlight.

  • JoeChristmas

    Just like Eric Trump will carry the family name and legacy twenty years hence into the White House.

  • Ryan Denniston

    Is it me, or the brown shoes with the blue suit really seem odd. It’s hard to see I know What with the queen wearing a white patterned dress with black shoes which is fine. Just seems weird.

    • snigsy

      Oh jeez, not another court reporter.

      • Ryan Denniston

        It just strikes me as “here’s my chainsaw, watch me clear some brush.”

        • WomanInThePersistence

          Well, he is Canadian, after all.

    • Crank Tango

      Brown shoes with dress clothes always look odd to me but what do I know, I work from home.

      • Ryan Denniston

        I too work with pants at times, which is why it attracted my attention.

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      I don’t like it, but it beats Blue Suit, Brown Shirt.

      • Ryan Denniston

        Well, any brown shirt.

        • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

          It’s not brown, it’s bark!

    • It’s not against “The Rules” to wear brown shoes with a blue suit, but the suit’s buttons are often changed to brown (or a cool kind of iridescent, half brown, half black kind of hybrid button) to tie everything together a little more.

    • alpacapunchbowl

      I like the combo. Black shoes with a blue suit look terrible, in my humble opinion.

    • As long as it isn’t a too long red tie with a black suit, I am happy.

    • hudson srinivasan

      i have a feeling he is no obama. too much optics i feel. i may be wrong. i’ll defer to fellow Canadians who know the day-to-day reality.

    • AnnieGetYerFun

      As long as it isn’t a TAN SUIT, he’ll be fine.

      • Three Finger Salute

        His birthday suit isn’t “tan” or any shade of brown. Therefore, no travel ban in the U.S. As for Pravda Preznit’s eligibility for office, orange is still the new white.

    • Marceline

      When did the blue suit become the big thing?

  • BadKitty904
    • OutOfOrbit

      I sure do wonder how that meeting will go/turn out (beyond tRump making a public ass of himself).

    • Is that the “G” rated version of that combo?

      • BadKitty904

        I dunno. It’s still pretty obscene.

    • SayItWithWookies

      What — no spurs?

      • BadKitty904

        No need. Trump is a willing traitor.

  • snigsy

    Here’s what my granny taught me:

    a) we’re all in this boat together

    b) therefore look after each other.

    Simple, no?

    • WomanInThePersistence

      Your Granny was/is a wise woman.

    • OutOfOrbit

      My granny taught me that some sweet old ladies say the word, “SHIT!”

      • alpacapunchbowl

        My great-granny was quite fond of saying “[So-and-so] thinks their shit don’t stink”.

        • OutOfOrbit

          Oh my goodness!

    • yyyaz

      If granny had been a trumpista:
      “Throw the colored ones and the librulz to the sharks!”

    • hudson srinivasan

      yes. puts the k in kernel.

    • OrG

      Where is the profit in that????

    • La forza del resistino

      In Hitchcock’s Lifeboat movie, things progressed to ugly.

      • snigsy

        Tallulah Bankhead I’m not. : )

    • BadKitty904
    • Courser_Resistance

      Same from my grandma, adding ‘There but for the grace of God, go I’

    • WotsAllThisThen

      Or, we could dismantle the part of the boat where poor people sit and give ourselves a tax cut!

  • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

    Chris Matthews is hellbent on keeping smart people from talking on his show. #STFUTweety

    • OutOfOrbit

      He’s had years of practice.

    • yyyaz

      Like we GAF about Christie’s giant SQUIRREL!11! stunt compared with getting rid of the real stank in our midst.

    • Les Appentis De la résistance

      What did Hillary do today?

  • WomanInThePersistence

    Should have posted this last night.

    https://youtu.be/tfxJ_eUg9Uc

    Fucking fireworks.

    • mancityRed6

      good dear dog, every year, there were letters to the editor in the Lawrence newspaper talking about how fireworks being illegal* was an infringement on their rights.

      *illegal except no one ever got caught. “they can’t get us all” does work.

      • WomanInThePersistence

        Fuck those people. I’m sorry, I’m very tired because I was awake until damn near 2am, and had to be at work at 7am. I may not be terribly cheerful here today. And if those mofos start shooting them off again, well, grrrrrr…..

        • mancityRed6

          sideways and all the way through with the rusty garden weasel of votes.
          twice.
          fireworks were cool until I hit 12, and my parents never let me set them off in town.

    • alwayspunkindrublic
      • WomanInThePersistence

        Poor Molly. She looks so worried and upset.

        • mancityRed6

          “you’re all gonna die! why am I the only one that takes this threat seriously?!?”

        • alwayspunkindrublic

          She was wearing her special shirt, so she actually did pretty well. It’s the gunfire that upsets her.

    • Les Appentis De la résistance

      I had to sleep in the basement with my 100 lb black lab. Grrrr.

  • Joe Beese
    • La forza del resistino

      the SS guy who pointed out Donald’s car to him likely shared some laffs with his colleagues today.

    • hudson srinivasan

      isn’t it a security breach to fotograf them? much less broadcast their pics?

      • Joe Beese

        The sunglasses make them completely unidentifiable!

      • shivaskeeper

        Not really. They just don’t like it.

    • ariel_gee_398

      Unfortunately, the brave men and women of the Secret Service could not save the President’s syntax.

  • jaspersdad

    Whale, whale what do we have here…

    https://youtu.be/TaHlKtA-4M4

    • yyyaz

      I always root for the orcas.

  • SeekAndDestroyLeftists

    Trudeau, go fuck yourself.

  • jesterpunk

    Great job united.

    https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/dr-gridlock/wp/2017/07/05/united-accidentally-gave-a-toddlers-seat-away-and-made-his-mom-hold-him-for-a-3-hour-flight/

    United Airlines has apologized to a passenger who was forced to
    give up her 2-year-old son’s seat and hold the child on a flight — until
    her leg and arm went numb.

    Shirley Yamauchi, a middle school teacher from Hawaii, was bound for a teacher’s conference in Boston last week, she told Hawaii News Now. Her traveling companion was 27-month-old Taizo, whose ticket she said cost as much as hers — nearly $1,000.

    The first leg of Thursday’s trip — Hawaii to Houston — went fine.

    So did the layover.

    But as Yamauchi and her son sat waiting for takeoff to Boston, a man walked up with the same seat number as Taizo, the mother told ABC affiliate KITV.

    “I told him, I bought both of these seats,” she told the station. “The
    flight attendant came by, shrugs and says, ‘flight’s full.’”

    A United spokesman told The Washington Post that Taizo’s boarding pass had
    been improperly scanned and that because the toddler wasn’t logged in
    to the system, his seat was released to a standby passenger.

    The airline said it is trying to compensate the family for its mistake.

    But at the time, Yamauchi said, she had only bad options.

    “I was told if we refund you anything right now, we’re going to have to cancel the rest of your flight arrangements to Hawaii,” she told KITV.

    • Joe Beese

      They didn’t offer to check him as baggage?

      • ariel_gee_398

        Children under 4 can only be brought on as carry-on luggage, not checked baggage, and the overhead bins were all full. If they toddler had been smaller and more flexible, he could have curled up under the seat. He really has only himself to blame.

    • WomanInThePersistence

      United really is going all out to unite the flying public.

      • jesterpunk

        IKR? Its almost like the CEO or someone is trying to kill the company and collect their golden parachute when its sold to some other company.

    • alpacapunchbowl

      Okay, maybe I got too much sun this weekend, but I’m almost starting to wonder if United is actively trying to enter insolvency and be forced into receivership.

    • TootsStansbury

      Certainly there’s no problem with monopolies. The Free Market will level it all out.

      • Bec Jenn

        Yeah, like that worked out so well in the past. /s I mean are we constantly doomed to repeat past mistakes, because of greed and stupidity? Grrr.

        • Bobathonic

          Yes, as soon as we forget.

          • yyyaz

            Like in the afternoon of the morning it happened.

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      Hopefully the airlines will run the air traffic system with the same ruthless efficiency and dedicated professionalism.

    • Three Finger Salute

      “Come fly the unfriendly skies”

  • Owner of Hobby Lobby was buying stolen Iraqi artifacts from ISIS and smuggling them into the country. I am really sick of self righteous right wing assholes. http://www.rawstory.com/2017/07/hobby-lobby-billionaire-ordered-to-hand-over-iraqi-treasure-trove-of-priceless-artifacts/

    • WotsAllThisThen

      Funny thing, those sincerely held religious beliefs they testified in court about.

    • jesterpunk

      So he was supporting ISIS? LOCK HIM UP. Oh wait he is a rich white “christian” asshole? Umm it was just a mistake nothing to see here.

      • OutOfOrbit

        Buying from ISIS–Where is the alt-right lynch mob?

        • jesterpunk

          WAR ON CHRISTIANITY or something?

      • OutOfOrbit

        Now if this was HRC…

    • OutOfOrbit

      Has he been arrested? Charged. If I were abetting man…

      • yyyaz

        … I would provide aid and comfort for the prosecution.

    • Martini Ambassador 🍸
    • alwayspunkindrublic

      These dipshits always find a way to be even more craven and venal than expected.

      • yyyaz

        It’s only when they are less than 100% craven and venal that they surprise me.

    • mancityRed6

      on the one hand, they saved some priceless artifacts.
      on the other, they gave money to Isis.
      but on the other hand, are they sure they’re the real artifacts?
      (reference to the museum that moved the real ones and left copies in their place in the face of Isis invasion)

  • WotsAllThisThen
    • alpacapunchbowl

      AT&T U-Verse decided to drop Al Jazeera America a few years back and replaced it with OAN.
      Tells me all I need to know.

      • Three Finger Salute

        I think they ended up getting cancelled anyway didn’t they? Did it really surprise anyone that there wouldn’t be much market demand in Murrica for a channel called “Al Jazeera”? Al Bundy TV maybe. But not, er… Al Gore…

        • alpacapunchbowl

          It’s that they chose to replace it with a channel even more biased and knuckle-draggingly derptastic that I find telling. These are the guys who worked diligently to get Ajit Pai as FCC head, after all.

        • yyyaz

          Merkins obviously cannot be educated. I loved al Jazeera TV. Now I have BYU, Trinity Broadcasting and several more fundie/cultist “news” channels.

          • WomanInThePersistence

            There is a reason I dropped the Dish/cable thingie. Waste of money, waste of time.

          • Ω cynmac will never surrender

            Fired them in 2011. I have a Chromecast and a Roku and stream everything.

          • WomanInThePersistence

            Chromecast rocks.

  • Speaking of imaginary worlds where Justin Trudeau (or even Hillary Clinton) is our president, who in your opinion is the BEST fictional president from movies or TV?

    I always go with Jordan Lyman (as played by Frederick March) in Seven Days in May

    http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x5i4gw_the-end-seven-days-in-may-john-fran_shortfilms

  • Three Finger Salute

    Recommended theme song. Yes, this was actually written for him.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O3RftANeiK0

  • Les Appentis De la résistance

    Those lucky kids have the best genes.

    • Three Finger Salute

      20 years from now, we’re going to be saying “Oh, I remember Xavier/Ella/Hadrien way back when…!” like people who remember little Justin during Pierre’s era are doing now.

      Fun fact: He was always a Star Wars fan.

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XqjQ6gqgi0w

  • laineypc

    Not even a whisper of Justin’s Big Omission at the Canada Day Festivities. Ah Evan, love (lust) is blind! I declare you officially unable to remain objective and professionally detached when it comes to covering the PM of Canadia.

    • Three Finger Salute

      He did say soory. And if anything, he’s been going above and beyond to accommodate Alberta’s failing oil economy at the risk of alienating the tribes and the environmentalists, because he wants to avoid another “economic anxiety” result for 2019 like we had here with the coal voters. They’re not going to vote for him anyway, but at least he’s trying to bring balance to the Force.

      • jaspersdad

        I used to think Quebec was the whiniest of provinces. Happy to report that it’s Alberta.

        • ltmcdies

          god aren’t they….I lived there…heard it every second week about how hard done by Alberta was..

          • jaspersdad

            Me too, for 30 years. Happy to be back in my native province of BC. I hope, for their sake, the NDP gets another go around. Used to hear all time people complaining about healthcare, as the tories tore another hospital down, or about education as schools got torn down and class sizes increased. And then these same people go and blindly vote for the PC’s again.

  • Bitter Scribe

    I like how Trudeau said, “No matter what religion you practice or whom you love, you are welcome in Canada.” Gee, think that was aimed at anyone in particular?

    • Crank Tango

      Gay muslims?

      Oh wait….

    • Three Finger Salute

      If Trump tried fleeing to Canada pending the outcome of Mueller’s investigation, I don’t think he’d be allowed in. He doesn’t love anybody, so fails that criteria.

      • Crank Tango

        Also they’re not big on letting criminals in. I think even a DUI is enough to keep you out.

        • We blocked Snoop and Martha from entry for a while

        • alpacapunchbowl

          My Canuckistani BFF’s husband got a dui back when he was young and dumb, and anytime they go up to visit her family they have to pay a small fortune for a special visa or some such for him.

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸
    • jowgajen

      That’s great marketing!

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      How many cute people were forcibly relocated?

      • Martini Ambassador 🍸

        AOT, K.

      • yyyaz

        I would wager not nearly as many as a coal-fired station of the same power would kill.

    • WotsAllThisThen

      Panda Power!

    • Nasty Girl Brianna
      • Martini Ambassador 🍸

        Very cool!

      • They’re just trolling us know.
        Also, if there is not a bar at ten forward, I will be very displeased.

        • data_ninja

          Prune juice is a warriors drink!

    • Bozilingus

      tRump’s wall will have panels that look like giant middle fingers. Unfortunately, they will only be visible on the US side.

  • memzilla Ω
    • TJ Barke

      We can has proletarian revolution nao?

      • Nasty Girl Brianna

        And Junior will be the first up against the wall.

        • WomanInThePersistence

          With votes.

        • mancityRed6

          we’re gonna need a bigger wall.

          • Maybe Mexico will help us pay for that one?

          • Colleendsoto

            Managing director of Google says we are paying $97 per hour! Work for few hours and have longer with friends & family^hu257:
            On tuesday I got a great new Toyota Prius Prime from having earned $8752 this last four weeks.. Its the most-financialy rewarding I’ve had.. It sounds unbelievable but you wont forgive yourself if you don’t check it,.Then see this
            ~xs267:
            ➽➽
            ➽➽;➽➽ http://GoogleFinancialJobsCash547GroupMaps/GetPay$97/Hour ★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★:::::~xs267..,..

          • JustDon’tSaySortMyBalls
          • Jerilynadaniels

            Managing director of Google says we are paying $97 per hour! Work for few hours and have longer with friends & family^hi224d:
            On tuesday I got a great new Lamborghini Aventador from having earned $8752 this last four weeks.. Its the most-financialy rewarding I’ve had.. It sounds unbelievable but you wont forgive yourself if you don’t check it ..Then don’t miss this
            ~xd224d:
            ➽➽
            ➽➽;➽➽ http://GoogleFinancialJobsCash524MarketSecret/GetPay$97/Hour ★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★:::::~xd224o…..

        • TJ Barke

          They can all be first up against the wall.

    • TJ Barke

      I wonder if he knows that Marx was very much pro-armed working class…

    • Jenny

      burn

    • OrdinaryJoe

      I spent the day making sure my spell check worked. How about you Uday?

  • Lambsendbeds

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
    Marco Rubio and staff working out of Tampa Starbucks due to not being able to find office space because of protesters!
    http://www.rawstory.com/2017/07/rubios-tampa-staff-forced-to-work-out-of-starbucks-because-protesters-prevent-him-from-finding-office-space/

    • jesterpunk

      I thought the right hated starbucks because liberals and the war on christmas?

      • Nasty Girl Brianna

        Not when they have free internet to offer. Because socialism.

    • BMW

      I hope they screwed up his name on his order.

      • Three Finger Salute

        Clerk: Marco?

        Customers: Polo!

        Clerk: Marco?

        Customers: Polo!

        • WomanInThePersistence

          Not enough upvotes available to me.

      • mancityRed6

        “little marco, latte something something or other for little marco!”

    • mancityRed6

      so, because they’re a bunch of cowards or because they can’t afford to pay their internet bill?

    • Ω cynmac will never surrender

      Yeah, like Rubio’s working…

  • Carpe Vagenda

    hey, speaking of hot-ass pictures…

    https://twitter.com/openculture/status/882698349563924480

  • Les Appentis De la résistance

    Notice he follows protocol and DOES NOT TOUCH THE QUEEN!

    • Martini Ambassador 🍸

      Good to be respectful. Plus, she does have those royal girl cooties.

    • Covfefe

      Justin isn’t a star, like Donald.

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸

    Y’all see this yet? She’s still my president, goddamnit.
    https://twitter.com/HillaryClinton/status/882692842791063553

    • WomanInThePersistence

      I like that she’s getting sassy.

      • OutOfOrbit

        Yep!

      • yyyaz

        The linky goes to a 2015 campaign release.

    • alpacapunchbowl

      I would like to see more of this “No Fucks Left to Give” Clinton.

      • OutOfOrbit

        That’s right.

      • Vecchioivan

        I hope she really unloads. Nothing causes more pain to the knuckle-draggers than a nasty woman.

        • OutOfOrbit

          And not being able to hit her.

        • alpacapunchbowl

          If I was handy with the photoshop I would shop her head onto a pic of myself wearing my Sam Bee Nasty Woman t shirt!

    • OutOfOrbit

      She did woop his as at the polls.

    • Bec Jenn

      Yup I’m Proudly Still with Her. She and Obama are my heroes and how to act gracefully and intelligently under pressure.

    • HA is this when they were all like “Let’s see Hillary do better!” even though she is not in charge or anything and supposed to be coming up with anything?

    • ltmcdies

      and that’s a how a “burn” is done on the tweeter, folks…but it is especially helpful when GOPer boneheads walk right into them

  • Nounverb911
    • yyyaz

      Dawg bless you, Mrs. Bowers.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      Republican Personal Responsibility at its finest.

      • Nounverb911

        What perso…nevermind!

    • Msgr_MΩment

      They should all be boiled in a hot steaming kettle of beezle-nut oil.

    • whoa wait…whut????

  • Thiazin Red

    Holy shit, what a tool. That guy deserves to be an Off the Menu legend in the bad way, not in the “I save bread” way.

    http://lifehacker.com/obnoxious-chipotle-order-reminds-us-to-be-nice-to-servi-1796643717

    • Damn it. Now i want bread

    • Bec Jenn

      Or one of the stories @Not Always Right. Hell, it’s been my reading material for the last month or so, because I’m avoiding the bleakness of the news.

      • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

        I don’t work public facing, normally – but I share Not Always Right.com with EVERY retail person I have a passing familiarity with.

    • mancityRed6

      so, he offers them more chances to put something in his food?

    • jesterpunk

      Does he know the golden rule when ordering food? “Dont piss off the people making your food.”

  • Bec Jenn

    Any July 4-5 B-days? I know I share a b-day with the oldest Obama child :D Having Dairy Queen for b-day meal. Not feeling so hot, so just an eat at home meal.

  • Jenny

    You guys, have you ever found a picture of a famous person, and gone jeez that looks like someone I know???

    • BloviateMe

      As in, a picture of Charles Nelson Reilly reminds you of Charles Nelson Reilly, or a picture of Charles Nelson Reilly makes you think your friend looks like Charles Nelson Reilly?

    • mancityRed6

      no, all my friends are kinda ugly.
      makes me look…well, it makes me look like I belong.

      • WomanInThePersistence

        Nonsense. I’ve seen pictures. You are cute, my friend.

        • mancityRed6

          yeah, but if I take myself seriously I’ll get a swelled head and no one wants to see that.

          • OutOfOrbit

            Too late. You lucky bastard.

          • mancityRed6

            *replaces tape on webcam*

          • Swelled heads are fun though…

          • hudson srinivasan

            exactimento.

          • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

            self-deprecatign humor keeps me grounded (that and social anxiety).

    • Thiazin Red

      There is a woman on my floor who looks like if someone tried to make Nina Dobrev “tv ugly”, like put the obviously beautiful woman in glasses, a ponytail and minimal makeup.

  • BloviateMe
    • Carpe Vagenda

      I can be a humorless parent – I certainly apologize for it often enough – but I’m not sure I’m completely comfortable with where the humiliating the child for not living up to what’s presumably a person agreement thing comes from.

      • BloviateMe

        I get what you’re saying, but I think it depends on the kid, and the type of relationship the kid and the parent have.

      • Ω cynmac will never surrender

        Depends on the age of the kid and what they did to deserve the punishment.

      • If he slid it under her door, I am presuming that she herself shared it at some point.
        But it is a point. I do not really relish the idea of rubbing a punishment in so very much. However, I am very fond of the no game and oft request it.

    • hudson srinivasan

      i’m a-ok scarring kids by depriving them needless electronics. i would rather have the kids climb trees and break a limb in the absence of electronics. real people contact and being in touch with real world is imvho more important. that’s how you develop empathy and respect for people.

      • FlownΩver

        “…climb trees and break a limb …”

        The [Possibly, Maybe] Ambiguous Strike Force welcomes your comment – which is not allowed.

    • OrdinaryJoe

      It’s one thing to punish your kid. Quite another to taunt them about it. Now you are just #assholedad.

    • BloviateMe

      Holy shit people, was but a joke, I don’t even know if it’s real.

    • Jenny

      Too much effort for me to harass my kids with drawings. I mean, there’s booze in the fridge that still hasn’t been drunk! Priorities!

      I’m not an alcoholic, but that’s just what an alcoholic would say!

  • SeekAndDestroyLeftists

    The Democrats are the party that thinks a man should be allowed to insert his erect ramrod into another man’s lubed up b*tthole and thrust it back and forth until HIV infected semen goes flying into his “husband’s” colon, because after all, they’re “consenting adults who love each other.” Why should we care about what they think?

  • Nounverb911

    Angry tweet from trump in…. oops, just as soon as someone explains all the big words to him…
    https://twitter.com/GeorgeTakei/status/882687277415190528

  • jesterpunk

    Damn even Raygun’s Secretary of Defense is criticizing Trump for giving Russia classified info from Israel.

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸

    Doofus Fuckabee still trying to remain relevant, slays it with hip, funny-making joke-y thing. The responses are deservedly brutal.
    https://twitter.com/GovMikeHuckabee/status/882637252228255746
    https://twitter.com/DannyDeraney/status/882642968041054208

    • Michael R

      Conservative humor is meant to make you lose hope in humanity .

      • Crank Tango

        So, no different from Conservative politics.

        • Pretty much.
          Their plan is to make people just sick of it all so they tune out and drop out. The less who vote, the better they do.

      • yyyaz

        99.44% effective, too.

      • mancityRed6

        humor is taking the pratfall yourself.
        conservative humor is tripping the blind kid so he falls face first into a pile of broken glass.

    • IdiokraticDrumpfenResistance

      I now understand the humorless angst and despair of Sarah Huckabee Sanders and her displays of abject denial of self worth.

    • SayItWithWookies

      Ol’ Huckabee doesn’t seem to know that for humor to be funny, there has to be some sort of twist to it. At least we can thank Twitter’s character limit for preventing him from leading up to it with “I’m going to tell you a joke about the movie True Lies.”

  • Saxo the Grammarian

    Open thread, right? Except for the occasional snark, I’ve disengaged from politics for the time being, because the Tour de France is on and will monopolize my attention for the next 2.5 weeks.

    I’m especially smitten by the name of the last mountain in todays stage – “La Planche des Belles Filles” – The Plank of the Beautiful Daughters. Despite the oddly poetic name, this is a nasty climb. 11% average grade, ramping up to 20% for the last kilometer. Much heroic suffering ensues.

    • Crank Tango

      Same here, but I’m still on stage 3 so no spoilers! LOL JK I already know about Cav/Sagan.

    • hudson srinivasan

      i’m actually waiting for the test match between England and South Africa at Lords starting tomorrow.

    • jaspersdad

      I like watching for the scenery. France is beautiful.

    • what do the beautiful daughters do with the plank, though?

      • JustDon’tSaySortMyBalls

        Yoga, I’m guessing?

        • Saxo the Grammarian

          Maybe a better name would be “Col de Pilates”?

      • data_ninja

        Something something hard wood.

    • NorthernSaber

      Man, 20% for a couple hundred meters us bad enough, but a kilometer of it at the end of a full stage is awful- which us why we watch! Inflicted my own heroic suffering this afternoon in solidarity with the world’s greatest race- 20 miles, with several nasty little climbs I imagine as L’alp d’Huez. Watching the evening show now- imagine riding there!

      • Saxo the Grammarian

        The last 200 meters of Mt. Diablo (just east of Oakland) is 20%. I’ve had mixed results with that stretch. One year, during the Mt. Diablo Challenge (charity ride), I had to get off and walk. I tried remounting to ride across the finish line for a nice picture, and all I accomplished was massive embarrassment. Another year, I found myself in the middle of a pack. I couldn’t accelerate or decelerate or do anything but ride with them to the summit. My subsequent recovery included dry heaves and other insults to my dignity.

        • NorthernSaber

          Ouch! How long is the ride before you get to Diablo? In my prime (late 80s-early 90s) I could ride the Acadia loop road twice in a day and summit Cadillac- say 60 miles and the biggest mountain on the East coast- but these polka dot jersey guys in the Tour are just other-worldly. Nice to run into a cyclist in the Wonketeriat!

  • Anna Rompage

    It’s the El Presidente Taco; carne asada, fresh grilled corn tortillas & smothered in ketchup.

    This lovely dish was created by a 3 year old, and is actually fit enough to serve to our current precedent… https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/57aec7f1908a367cc2519af6e34d366d69e885b694a2bf3b71f6561c60b50309.jpg

    • Nounverb911

      Not well done enough!

    • alpacapunchbowl

      The ketchup on that otherwise nummerz-looking taco is going to make me cry.

    • La forza del resistino

      looks like Hannibal Lechter took up performing heart transplants.

      • yyyaz

        Good cooks always sample their dishes.

    • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

      taco blasphemy!

    • mancityRed6

      it could be saved. spoon off a little ketchup, add some pico and hot sauce.
      then smoke a bowl.
      it’ll be good in a bit.

      • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

        but, but, that poor cilantro. It’ll never survive in there!

    • Doug Langley

      Oh shit, and I was just getting over a queasy stomach.

  • Nounverb911
    • La forza del resistino

      look fwd to the meeting’s read-out. you know Donald will bring Miss Uni up again to show what a friend of Russia he is.

    • RobKanC

      Has all the makings of a romcom. Can’t wait to see if they fuck at the end.

      • Msgr_MΩment

        Spoiler alert: In each other’s ends

      • NellCote71

        Heh-heh. You said fuck in the end.

    • Crank Tango

      With friends like that, who needs enemy dictators blackmailing you?

    • Be fair. Nostradamus was correct once or twice in his life.

  • OrdinaryJoe
    • BloviateMe

      Say, she’s neat.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      I will be in le bunque.

    • NellCote71

      And she looks wholesome and not plastic-y like the Trump ladies.

      • Three Finger Salute

        She really is a sweet person and, like Maggie, an advocate for mental health. Sophie suffered from bulimia in high school. It’s because of her advocacy, and Maggie’s, and the fact that he and Sophie have a little girl of their own, that Justin himself adopted the feminist platform. He gets flak from the usual sources about how men need to do their part to make the world a better place for girls and women — because it’s the male-centric culture that’s fucked it all up. Reducing girls and women’s human worth to little more than their sexual desirability to (straight) men is what leads to things like eating disorders.

        And what does the Internet do in response but call her a fat cow, him a cuck, and his mother a whore. And vote for Trump. I hate the Internet.

    • Three Finger Salute

      Le Jackie O de Montréal!

    • SnarkON

      OK so I’m trying to estimate how much doublesided tape was used to anchor that neckline.

  • Picabo

    Jasmin Moghbeli is an Iranian-American marine who flew combat missions in Afghanistan. Now she’s one of NASA’s newest astronauts.

    http://www.newyorker.com/news/news-desk/jasmin-moghbeli-americas-badass-immigrant-astronaut https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/47e0e82dd4d607241d4f4f56302db0c196679e191aeef9dd6a4e158fbeb03498.jpg

    • OutOfOrbit

      Now that there is one HOT chick.

      • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

        hot shot chick?

    • IdiokraticDrumpfenResistance

      Trump had better not try to deport her either!

    • GoutMachine

      Well, obvs. she’s going to kidnap all those children and take them to the Martian bone-marrow-harvesting slave camps.

      • Doug Langley

        Mars needs moms!

        • Left Coast Tom

          Mars ain’t the kind of place to raise your kids – in fact it’s cold as hell.

    • jaspersdad

      Will she be allowed back into the country after her space mission?

      • Picabo

        I would think so ” nicknamed “Jaws,” who played basketball at M.I.T., is a Marine Corps major, and was decorated for flying Cobra gunships on a hundred and fifty combat missions in Afghanistan

        Who’s gonna stop her?

        • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

          Don’t you fuckin’ hate over achievers?
          It’s like those tweens who’ve accomplished more than I ever have.

          (Just kidding)

          • WomanInThePersistence

            It is a sobering thought that when Mozart was my age he had been dead for 17 years.

            Adapted from Tom Lehrer, PBUN.

    • grindstone

      Just showed my kid. Kid, that is a badass.

  • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

    Hola! Back from the gym – worked hard (for my fat, lazy butt).

    My calendar should be out next summer.

    ; )

    • OutOfOrbit

      Oh Dog.

    • Tell me more!

      • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

        lol – it’s a long way away luv. I’m going slow, cause my body is so unused to exercise and EVERY. TIME. i try going to the gym, I push myself too hard, hurt my back, and then I’m not going again and six months have passed.

        So I increase my time on the treadmill slowly and will then increase speed. I broke 1 mile yesterday! (Hey, it’s a big deal for me).

        • NellCote71

          Congratulations and keep it up! The exercise routine that is.

          • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

            Thanks!
            I actually am kinda having fun with it.
            We’ll see how fast that shit changes when school and/or work starts.

        • SnarkON

          #YOGA

          • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

            i should, but i’m kinda petrified of that, for several reasons. I do stretch more and more often these days.

            Apparently having a big belly, like mine, is murder on the lower back (more so if your lower back is weak), so I’m doing ab crunches too.

            I’m sure other members laugh at me, and I don’t think I’ll ever actually see my ab muscles, but I dream of it (and strengthen those ab muscles to help my back).

          • SnarkON

            I can’t speak for every person at every gym but you get my full respect for being there and getting into shape. Working out isn’t easy for anyone. Props to you.

          • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

            Thanks! That’s actually kinda why I go to a planet fitness. That whole no judgments advertising must work, cause there is ALWAYS at LEAST one person heavier than me in there, if not more.
            There’s middle and senior aged men and women in there, heavy people, just fuckin’ workin’ it out man. I like that. Hell, I ran into a high school buddy’s mom there one night. We had a good time catching up on neighboring treadmills.

            A friend I don’t talk to anymore used to talk about her gym on facebook. It’s in our neighborhood and apparently it’s nothing but fucking svelte or huge, pretty people there. You know the ones – the ones that make you think, “why the fuck am i even trying?”

          • mancityRed6

            I’m gonna order some yoga of inflexible people dvds
            even when I didn’t have much of a gut, I couldn’t touch my toes due to a job I had in high school.

          • SnarkON

            You should do it! You’ll get more flexible as you go. Also get yourself a pair of yoga blocks. (Not a double entendre; actually a great prop to help when you have flexibility issues.)

          • mancityRed6

            and I already have a towel.

        • mancityRed6

          it’s a marathon, not a spring.
          technically, you’ll never really get done, it just moves to maintenance after awhile.

          • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

            thanks buddy, and that’s true. I’m just, by nature, impatient.

            Aside from my appearance and the weight loss, it’s good for my high blood pressure.

            I need to remember that when I see all those “gym dudes” wandering around.

  • Nounverb911

    This should be more fun than a barrel full of trumpanzees.

    https://twitter.com/thehill/status/882735361822257152

    • If it weren’t a waste of alcohol, Handler would throw her drink at this loser

    • GoutMachine

      For the life of me, I still don’t know who the hell Chelsea Handler is or why I should.

      • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

        raunchy comedian. used to have a show on basic cable.

        • Jenny

          Has show on Netflix. More raunchy.

          • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

            i forgot, yeah, has like 2 specials on Netflix, no? (I’ve never bothered to watch them. I don’t hate her or anything, just, I dunno).

            Her episode on hte New Muppet Show was kinda funny.

          • Jenny
          • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

            Thanks. I don’t know why I don’t watch her stuff. TX Mom likes watchign comedy specials, I don’t anymore.

            (Also, I’m guessing this PSA has to do with city codes requiring fences around pools, even if you don’t have kids. I learned about them in torts class. You could be liable if you don’t take steps to keep kids safe from what’s called “an attractive nuisance” – which may very well be the name for my first punk band).

          • Jenny

            It is like her cable talk show, just with less giving a fuck.

          • La forza del resistino

            Tomi should bring her Sailor’s Guide to Language dictionary to keep up.

      • JoeChristmas

        Her first two books are truly hilarious. Srsly, highly recommended.

        • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

          I’ve seen those on my library’s digital downloads, but I never read them. The only “humor” books I’ve ever found humorous are David Sedaris books (and he’s had a few whiffs over the years).

          • JoeChristmas

            IKR, don’t read a lot of humor books, mostly non-fiction, Mark Levin stuff (JK), but I definitely LOL’d.

    • jaspersdad

      Lahren is in way over her head. Handler will chew her up.

    • alpacapunchbowl

      Eh, Handler’s politics are more palatable but I don’t like her either. This is just gonna be a mean girl bitchfest. I don’t have the patience for cable “news” since it’s just a pack of assholes trying to shout over eachother, so I’m not about to tune in to two assholes trying to shout over eachother.

      • Courser_Resistance

        Thanks! I’ve felt guilty for not caring for her stuff. The politics are fine, but she’s just too much of a shrill mean girl to appeal to me.

        • WomanInThePersistence

          Can just say as a woman-type-person that I really, really hate the word “shrill”? She may not be your cup of tea, she may not make you laugh, but I would really appreciate it if you focused on the content you find not-funny, not the vocal tone it’s said in.

          Thanks.

          • BloviateMe

            She admonished. Shrilly.

            TOTALLY KIDDING I”M SORRY I’m not smart and stuff.

          • WomanInThePersistence

            You are smart and stuff. And I hate the word “shrill” even more than I hate “moist” or “portion”. In other words, a fuckton lot.

          • BloviateMe

            I hate the words that end with “let,” as in “pamphlet,” or “booklet.”

          • WomanInThePersistence

            I am also very not fond of “poetess”. While not as ghastly as “shrill” and “portion”, it is still just plain awful.

          • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

            hey, David Sedaris’ mom hated the word moist. He hates the abbreviation of NYC street names, “5th and Lex”

          • SeekingCovfefeBarbie

            I hate people referring to “social security number” as “your social.”

          • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

            that i’m okay – the one that grates on me just a little, is when they ask for “your sosh”

          • Courser_Resistance

            I’m also a woman-type-person and I’m sorry you were offended.

            High-pitched screeching? Better?

          • WomanInThePersistence

            Not offended, exactly, well maybe a little bit. I would just be happier when criticisms of women actually dealt with the content rather than the vocal tone. After last fall, if I never hear “shrill” again, it will still be too goddammed soon.

            And I didn’t think you meant anything personal by it. And of course us women-type-people still buy into gender roles, what with us being socialized human beings. And also too, thank you.

          • Courser_Resistance

            I get it. It was horribly misused over the election. And it wasn’t even accurate! Hillary’s voice is such that I don’t think she could be ‘shrill’ if she tried. Same here, my voice is in a lower range for women, but trust me, there’s no end of ugly things people say.

            You’re very welcome!

          • WomanInThePersistence

            This is such a civilized place, by and large. I’m so pleased that I found this site.

          • FlownΩver

            If it helps I put Chris Matthews dead center in the “shrill” category.

    • mancityRed6

      just like sh….oh, wait. that’s “fish in a barrel.”
      never mind.

    • Wild Cat

      “Is That You, Fascist Cunnilingus? It’s Me, Tomi. Can You Hear Me?”

    • Michael R
  • Everrett Fanuelli

    Trump’s been talking shit to China and I see some former military folks are getting war boners. So are we going to war with North Korea or what?

    • OutOfOrbit

      No. That would fuck up S Korea and that would fuck up US biz interests.

      • Everrett Fanuelli

        We are talking about Trump.

      • suziq

        You are making the mistake if thinking someone is considering the consequences to the potential war. Assumes facts not in evidence.

        • OutOfOrbit

          Yeah but dOnnie is on a leash, we just haven’t seen it yet. Like this pootin meeting–staff will keep him surrounded on his side of the space alloted them and if he really goes rogue, he won’t get far.

      • Jon Sussex

        But to what extent are they Dump’s business interests?

    • BadKitty904

      If we go to war with N. Korea, we go to war – directly or indirectly – with China. Which is just what Putin wants.

    • OrdinaryJoe
  • WomanInThePersistence

    Jay Ashcroft, the Missouri Secratary of State, is an asshole. An oily, Republican asshole. Who will comply with the Donalds demand for voter registration. Ugh.

    https://youtu.be/YSAr9uWLX-k

    • BadKitty904

      If Missouri voters don’t sue his ass off, they get just what they deserve.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      Any relation to John Ashcroft? If so, he’s genetically incapable of being anything other than an oily Republican asshole.

      • Truck Fump

        SON OF THE BASTARD.

        • alwayspunkindrublic

          Dear God. Let the motherfuckin’ eagle soar, then.

          • mancityRed6

            and take the both of them.

    • La forza del resistino

      Another Ashcroft from MO who chooses to sing.

      • pat tolle

        @La forza del resistino- Oh yeah he sang all right, got up to P and coul-dn’t find the pot.

    • mancityRed6

      I grew up in Misery, I’ll say a lot of people deserve him.

    • Bill D. Burger

      Papa’s tribute to his boy: John Ashcroft Let The Eagle Soar backwards
      (Oh Sweet Evil)
      Some creative soul went a little Twin Peaks on the song. It’s just as horrid to hear, but funny.

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5sMDG_bpBAk

      • Three Finger Salute

        If you listen to it backwards it says democracy is dead.

    • hudson srinivasan

      gerrymandering >> voter fraud. legalized prostitution of democracy.
      solve that with as much urgency please, you sly slippery mofo. polite thanks.

  • NellCote71

    Let’s just hope, Evan, that you have gotten over your silly Jared crush. So unbecoming.

    • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

      Unbecoming? Or ENTIRELY APPROPRIATE!????

      • hudson srinivasan

        why not both?

  • SnarkON

    Sigh. We had a sexxxy president once. It seems like decades ago.

    • hudson srinivasan

      fuck sexxy. sensitive and smart, and according to biden one who carried a long stick.

      • According to Jill, Joe was no slouch in that department himself.

    • BloviateMe

      Think there’s anybody out there, somewhere, with such a severity of a fetish, that they think Trump is sexxxy?

      • SnarkON

        Putin, obvs.

      • Angry Red Bird DGAF

        Ivanka?

      • hudson srinivasan

        entire gop?

        • BloviateMe

          Dear sweet babby Jesus, I forgot about her. I was happy in my ignorance, too.

          • Sorry, Blot. You know we need our eyes wide open and to be fully grounded in reality in order to fight efficiently.
            If it makes you feel any better, do note the big red splotch on the side where the pen ran. It makes it much funnier

    • Left Coast Tom

      We had a competent President then, also, too.

  • jesterpunk

    Why would anyone want to do this?

    https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/business/wp/2017/07/04/you-can-now-snort-chocolate-but-should-you/

    Now meet Coco Loko, a “snortable” chocolate powder being marketed as a
    drug-free way to get a buzz. The product, created by Orlando-based
    company Legal Lean, includes cacao powder, as well as gingko biloba,
    taurine and guarana, which are commonly found in energy drinks.

    • SnarkON

      Shockingly, it’s based in Florida.

      • yyyaz

        Coincidentally, Floriduh is really big on free basing.

    • This spunds like a fabulous idea where nothing could possibly go wrong

      • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

        I saw a headline the other day, I think on CNN.com, about this that read, “You can snort coco powder, but should you?”

        That my friends is America in a nutshell.

        • SnarkON

          Did it mention whether it’s a better high if one puts the cocoa powder in one’s vadge?

          • Only after the vadge has been jazzled

          • SnarkON

            How about one’s butthole?

          • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

            Jinx!

          • SnarkON

            You owe me a cup of cocoa.

          • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

            Noooo, I posted my comment, then clicked your “Show 1 new reply”.

            Sorry, I’m petty.
            ; )

          • FlownΩver

            So you Won’t Back Down?

          • OutOfOrbit

            WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU TWO?(Beloe)

          • Three Finger Salute

            This is a thread about Canada, so the correct term is “stwange.”

          • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

            Dear lord, how long before people are “butt chugging” “cocoa powder”?!?

            People fuckin’ *scare* me sometimes.

          • SnarkON

            I agree. Like, seriously, people, how bad is your life if you’re *this* desperate to get high?

          • Kiri the Unicorn

            Come sit next to me, sweetie. I’m reasonably sane.

          • For a given value of sane?

          • Kiri the Unicorn

            Well, I’m highly unlikely to put cocoa powder up my tailhole, at the very least.

          • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

            There needs to be a real world version of the walking dead’s famous “3 questions”.

            1) How many republican presidents have you voted for?
            2) How many items meant to be swallowed have you put up your bunghole?
            3) Why?

          • Komsumverweigerer Ron

            Unless you’re way more flexible than most equines.

          • yyyaz

            I’d do the equation, but everybody here would freak out over the math.

          • ….I was told there would be no math about snorting chocolate?

        • Thiazin Red

          The entire article should have just read “No, you should not. It is a stupid idea and you should feel stupid for thinking it.”

          • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

            what’s that internet law that states the answer to any headline posed as a question is “no”.

            I don’t think I’ve yet to see it been proven wrong.

          • biologydave

            Yeah, this isn’t a good idea at all. It’ll be on shelves by Halloween though.

    • OutOfOrbit

      Why? See Rule #34. No, Wait….

    • La forza del resistino

      Can’t say why, but the who would be Charlie Sheen just out of rehab.

    • hudson srinivasan

      wpp.

    • Wild Cat

      One need simply inhale the NYT of Moscow editorial page to get high. Why would one pursue the Occupied Washington Post for these ideas?

    • Thiazin Red

      This sounds like a stupid waste of chocolate. Who is even the market for this? The only group I can think of is kids. Is it supposed to be starter coke, like Big League Chew and candy cigarettes were to prep kids for tobacco use?

      • alpacapunchbowl

        Bingo.

      • Angry Red Bird DGAF

        Actually, my guess is it’s for the “health” crowd who want to “indulge” without doing anything illegal. Bet you will find it in your local GNC.

    • mancityRed6

      I read on the internet it’s better to put a teaspoon of cinnamon up your arse.
      and I really wish that story would get around more.

      • FlownΩver

        Where are all the FireStix™ when you need one?

      • Raan

        Gives new meaning to the phrase “ring of fire”.

    • Doug Langley

      Now that’s a real Cocoa Puffs.

    • BadKitty904

      My brother lives in Orlando. Trust me, this development is not in the least surprising, given the location.

    • Jenny

      These motherfuckers! Don’t they know chocolate is a scarce resource!

      • mancityRed6

        I’m thinking it’s more like “chocolate”
        as in “chocolate flavored”

        • BloviateMe

          Like how “cheese food” is anything but cheese?

          • mancityRed6

            take a look at some of the candy bars that tare out now. a lot of them say “chocolate flavored” now.

          • WomanInThePersistence

            “Cheese food” is an abomination unto the Lord/Lady.

        • Jenny

          Oh I hope so, or I’ll be a one woman choco-coke busting ring!

      • Left Coast Tom

        I have a bottle of “chocolate port” from Lodi…the chocolate is mixed with Zinfandel port in the barrel.

    • jowgajen

      I personally feel that anything to be snorted should be approved for such a delivery method by the FDA ….

    • It would give a new meaning to “brownnoser.”

      • eggs ackly-wright

        Chocolate boogers!

    • Jamespuck

      So does that make a Hersey bar Cocoa Crack.

      • jesterpunk

        Only in Florida.

    • The new spice, ladies and gentlebums.

    • Bemused

      Ya know, I’m generally a fan of any and all chocolate delivery systems, but this one? No. No. No. Nope. No.

  • azeyote

    is the Queen gettin her some young strange ?

  • ariel_gee_398

    Pat Toomey was feeling left out, so he decided to join the “Senators being shitty to protesters in wheelchairs” club. https://twitter.com/jrobinsonphoto/status/882746029807939585

  • Ninja0980

    I am appalled by this post.
    How could you post all those photos of Justin and not have a shirtless one?

  • Bill D. Burger

    New Presidential limousine. Perhaps now that stupid fuckface Turnip will be able to find it.
    Paul Ryan, of course, will train the driver.

    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DEAdh9PUIAERbKh.jpg

    Interior shot: Designed by Melania personally.

    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DEAzBp5VoAA5P_H.jpg

    • mancityRed6

      so he just gets jealous, then?

      • Jamespuck

        But he said he personally modeled for the design. But they took a few inches off of course. Cause he is huuuuge down there

        • mancityRed6

          I’ve never seen a 10000-1 scale before.

    • BloviateMe

      No time to talk, get in the hot dog.

    • La forza del resistino

      Hi, my name is Anthony and I’ll be your driver today. I used to be in govt too.

  • Because it deserves love:

    https://youtu.be/6_35a7sn6ds

  • JoeChristmas

    Tu sais, while Evan is fapping all over Justin, I was just admiring Sophie,
    BRB.

    • Try both at the same time. You won’t regret it!

    • Three Finger Salute

      She is a pretty lady. Naturally pretty, unlike the fake plastic Stepford models at Mar-a-Lardo. And smart, and kind, and a good mom.

      http://www.chatelaine.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/02/Sophie1600x800.jpg

      http://www.chatelaine.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/02/sophie-gregoire-trudeau-anya-chibis.png

      • JoeChristmas

        Our gold digging third lady is an idiot who has sold her soul for the two-bit swindler lifestyle. *nauseous*

        • I secretly suspect she was sold into marriage by her father.
          Based solely on the the idea that women from certain parts of the world are regularly sold into marriage by their fathers, and that her current husband seems to be financially supporting her entire family.

      • BloviateMe

        She’s got a Diane Lane look going.

        • Three Finger Salute

          I’ve thought of that. If there was ever a Trudeaumania movie, Diane Lane as Sophie and Rob Lowe as Justin. Zack Efron as Sascha, Harry Styles (if he can fake a Canadian accent) as the late Michel, Helen Mirren as Maggie today, Anne Hathaway as 1970s Maggie and Patrick Stewart as Pierre.

          And Alec Baldwin as “The Fuddle Duddle.”

  • Sophia

    Tucked under the mattress?

    Lost records of lawsuit claiming Trump Tower exploited undocumented workers have been found

    http://www.nydailynews.com/new-york/lawyer-finds-lost-records-trump-tower-immig-labor-lawsuit-article-1.3301025?

    • OrG

      So what. We already hate him and the trumpanzees don’t fucking care.

    • Raan

      No, under the rug in the gift shop.

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    Ever try doing an exacting task that requires your full attention while the “security guard”-in reality a somewhat creepy and mentally challenged homeless guy who lives in his truck behind my shop-tries to roust out the tweakers piping up in the abandoned building next door by pounding on the wall with a baseball bat and screaming “don’t make me come in there!”?

    Sometimes I think I need to move to a new galaxy.

    • Make sure you know where your towel is!

    • BloviateMe

      Mark me down as a “no” on that one.

    • I can’t say that has ever happened to me, exactly.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        You should get out more.

        • Right?
          I did once get confused with a flasher.
          The cop was convinced I was the suspect, because cap and jeans and short. Then I stepped into the light…or…my tits preceded me into the light.
          Oh. Sorry Ma’am.
          So not a compliment.

          • BeachBum

            ” My tits preceded me into the light” You have a way with worms I mean words that I admire. Ok then.

    • mancityRed6

      I’ll just say it’d be fun to visit, but I don’t wanna live there.

    • Jenny

      Actually, I do know the feeling! We’re the lucky few!

    • WomanInThePersistence

      Helpful hint- 42 is the answer. Always.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        Not sure what that means, but I wrote it down and put it in my wallet.

        • WomanInThePersistence

          Douglas Adams. It’s the answer to everything. We still have to figure out the question.

          • I think we know the answer now.
            How many presidents were not complete lame wastes of space.
            42!
            See?

      • BeachBum

        Thanks. I been using 1740 with very little success !

    • Jamespuck

      Stop banging on the wall I’m hitting my pipe up and over here

      • BeachBum

        Brahahaha !

    • Ω cynmac will never surrender

      Had a close encounter of the homeless kind today. Went to the transit office to get my handicapped reduced fare card (discount $2.50 fare to $1) and some dude was in the waiting area being an ass. Eavesdropping on cell phone conversations, making comments and acting creepy. Manager called security and two transit cops came through. Guy backed down so no major drama.
      Reminded me why I hate being in public.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        In general, I tend to be sympathetic and try to lend a hand to the homeless. This guy I mentioned however is homeless because he’s on the run from the law for being a deadbeat dad and not ever paying child support. He’s got his issues, but he’s capable of having a job and contributing to the welfare of his kids…so my sympathy is pretty much non-existent.

  • OrdinaryJoe

    Hobby Lobby cops plea to stealing ancient artifacts from Iraq, in violation of federal law (not to mention the Xtian version of the eighth Commandment and whole slew of other parts of the Byebull). Uses the “mistakes were made” apology for the theft.

    https://www.nytimes.com/2017/07/05/nyregion/hobby-lobby-artifacts-smuggle-iraq.html

    • Sophia

      Oopsie, I got caught?

    • ltmcdies

      “Mistakes”….mr. Lobby….there were FBI warnings about the buying of Iraqi artifacts…you dumb shits.

      http://gizmodo.com/fbi-dont-accidentally-buy-artifacts-stolen-by-isis-1727240746

      • Tokays_don’t_blink

        Not to worry. All they have to do is blubber some not-perfect-just-forgiven arglebargle and everything will be fine.

        • Komsumverweigerer Ron

          ‘It was my Sincerely Held Belief that God said I could have these.’

          • BeachBum

            The real problem was that God was not answering his texts to be a character witness for the trial. “Hobby Lobby ? No. Nope. Never heard of ’em.” –God.

    • BeachBum

      It’s always the “holier than thous” that are the biggest crooks. I bet the owners have gold plated toilets.

    • Bub, the truculent Zombie

      They will pray for forgiveness, and the good Lord will wipe the slate clean.

      I mean, that’s how it works, isn’t it?

      • WomanInThePersistence

        Isn’t that how Catholic confession works? These are clearly Protestant papists.

        • No wai. Catholics make you do penance AND make retribution to the parties you injured.
          If you lie to them, you tell them you lied. If you stole from them, you return the property. If you killed them, you turn yourself in to the cops.
          Otherwise, no absolution for you

        • alwayspunkindrublic

          Catholic confession is a little more complicated than that.

          • Honestly, it is the missing piece in the evangelical get out of jail free card.
            They keep forgetting Jesus also said you had to make ammends.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            And take ownership of what you did, and feel/express genuine remorse. I know this gets lumped into the whole Catholic guilt thing, but that’s what you’re supposed to do when you act like an a-hole.

          • Right? TBH, that is one part of my Catholic upbringing I kept on purpose.
            Yes, the guilt is difficult to deal with. But the trick is to try to make amends. Do what you can to make it right and never stop trying to make it right. Honestly, it helps me feel /less/guilty

          • WomanInThePersistence

            I happen to think that’s a good thing.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            I tend to be a little cautious on this subject because there’s a lot of reflexive anti-Catholic sentiment out there…but yeah, it is a good thing. Own up to your shit. Make it right. There are worse credos to live by.

          • WomanInThePersistence

            Is it fairly obvious that I am not so much Catholic?

      • Jennifer R

        Three million dollar fine and the antiquities were confiscated.

      • BeachBum

        If the Lord needs some help, I would more than happy to assist in wiping their slates clean. I hope for their sake they got good insurance. For their “slates” of course.

      • OrdinaryJoe

        Lol. You said “slate”.

    • This pisses me off for so many reasons.
      The first of course is they ARE LITERALLY FUNDING FUCKING TERRORISTS.
      The second is that by buying black market antiquities, they are contributing to the looting of artifacts from their proper context, robbing future generations of their history.
      The third is they are fucking funding terrorists while robbing generations of their history.

      • SeekingCovfefeBarbie

        So much for their “sincerely held” religious beliefs. Damned hypocrites.

        • Well naturally.
          Is Fox news freaking the fuck out about an American Company literally funding fucking Terrorists directly, yet?
          No?
          What…..no????

        • BeachBum

          Apparently the bottom line of their beliefs is actually the bottom line.
          Again, as usual, I am shocked.

      • SeekingCovfefeBarbie

        They had to know there was a very high probability they were buying on the black market. The looting of the antiquities has been very well known. Greedy, selfish bastards.

        • You know precisely who you are buying from off the black market. Anyone who says they do not know is a lying liar who lies.

    • BeachBum

      Really, how stupid can you be ? There must be a gazillion books, stories, movies, tee vee shows, about how people than stole ancient artifacts always end badly. I fully expect them to get at least 5 or 6 of the Ten Plagues of the Old Testament. And 1 or 2 that Dr Henry “Indiana” Jones discovered.
      Prolly some other Middle East Demons too.
      I call dibs on the screen play The Ten Curses on Hobby Lobby.

    • BeachBum

      I’m not a lawyer and I don’t play one on tee vee, but I bet the reason they settled on $3 mill is because if it went to court they would lose many times more in bad publicity. Also a jury just might believe they are funding terrorists, and set a fine in the tens of millions. 12 people off the street and you just never know.

      • They. Are. Funding. Terrorists.

        • BeachBum

          Ma’am. Yes Ma’am.

  • Raan

    All that’s missing is statues of old Soviet heroes, a stolen EMP-hardened helicopter, and a Lienz Cossack with a half burned face.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/236532b50b7279519ba6e18f19be092bc0d6134b048e9cee3eb6d29a23f8204f.jpg

    • Saxo the Grammarian

      This looks like a trailer park moments before the tornado hits. :-(

      • Raan

        Well, you’re half right.

        Unlike some places, this one​actually enforces their standards. There’s one up the road that’s a complete shithole, though.

    • Komsumverweigerer Ron

      That’s positively pre-Apocalyptic

      • Raan

        THANKS DONALD >:(

    • BadKitty904

      Is that a scene from On the Beach?

      • Raan

        No, I think it’s from a little indie film called Outside My House Half An Hour Ago.

        • BadKitty904

          I’d suggest spending the rest of the evening in your back-yard bomb shelter.

          • NorthernSaber

            I grew up in the 70’s/early 80’s, and sometimes we’d have some pretty interesting discussions about the nuclear war we just knew was going to kill us young. There wrre two camps- be vaporized, or live to see the Mad Max film that would break out afterward. Even though I’d read my Shute, I was always in the faction that wanted to see the other side. And yeah, a local family had a bomb shelter. It may have been used for fucking…

          • BeachBum

            Fonzie’s damn motorcycle takes up all the space.

    • Delu

      Mars 2130.

    • jaspersdad
    • Bemused

      Looks like Sanctuary. Is there a fallout vault around the corner?

      • Raan

        Doubt it. Florida has a really high water table.

  • Lori

    So, I kind of hate people today. On Sunday there was a fire at the library in a neighboring city (that library and mine are part of the same consortium). Today we found out it was arson. What kind of soulless defective commits arson in a library? Probably a relative of the asshole who threw a rock through the window of our library early this morning and stole the children’s department’s pet hedgehog. We’re now all worried that our poor girl is going to end up dead. It’s not like a person who would steal a hedgehog from a library is likely to take good care of it or be careful who they sell it to.

    People can really suck.

    • Bub, the truculent Zombie

      I grow more misanthropic with every passing day. Many, if not most, people are fucking scum.

      • Lori

        I still think most people are at worst neutral, but man the assholes really make a big impression.

      • Three Finger Salute

        Oh, I gave up a long time ago. Combination of misanthropy and nonexistent self-esteem. I mostly just stay in my bunk. I don’t talk to my father except when absolutely necessary, and while my mother is much nicer, most of the time she has no idea what I’m talking about or what new word I’m trying to explain. Hikikomori is one I tried telling her recently — Japanese for fed-up recluse. She gets that I’m an antisocial cynic. She just doesn’t see why I don’t say so in English…

        Either I’m reading books, reading the news, neatening the place up a bit, reading Wonkette and replying to and making non-comments, or doing various other Internet-related things. Right now I’m re-synching my decade-old refurbished iPod with a bunch of theme songs from old television shows. Most of which I got from YouTube. And I’m fine with that. I can’t be bothered to get stabbed in the back by strangers in a way I’ve already been multiple times by members of my own family. The devil you know is bad enough, why venture out among the rabid wolves you don’t?

    • OrG

      Libraries are SOCIALISM.

      • Lori

        I fear this may be close to the truth. I live in Trumpistan, so it’s definitely possible.

    • BadKitty904
    • Panika MCD

      someone who didn’t like them tweeting out the Declaration of Independence?

      stolen hedge hog? WTF is wrong with people?!

      • data_ninja

        Without hitching my pants up too high, it sounds like the work of rowdy teens with too much time to waste on their summer vacation.

        • Not a library.
          I’ve known a lot of rowdy teens in my life. Even some gang bangers. No one burns down a fucking library on a whim.
          School yes. Library no.

        • Panika MCD

          you mean the hedge hog, right?

          • data_ninja

            Mostly.

        • Lori

          The hedgehog theft may be the work of some of our local juvenile buttheads. The thing is, that makes it really unlikely that poor Harley is going to get good care in a safe place.

      • Lori

        It’s worse than just a stolen hedgehog. Poor Harley was a rescue. We got her 4 or 5 months ago because our children’s librarian is a soft touch. It took her months to be comfortable enough in her new home to relax enough that the librarian could hold her without the pokeproof glove. Now her living situation has been disrupted again and she’s probably with horrible morons. I breaks my heart. The whole thing is made worse by the fact that the thief has to be a library patron because they went straight for the hedgehog and her cage wasn’t visible from outside.

        A pox on them.

        • Panika MCD

          jeebus.

    • Ω cynmac will never surrender

      Some asshole here set fire to a school. Wearing a shirt that said “you can’t see me” although he was caught on camera clearly. Fire was put out quickly and the fire fighters saved the class pets also too.

      • Three Finger Salute

        I don’t think John Cena would have approved of that.

    • BadKitty904

      In re: the kidnapped hedgehog – might y’all consider a publicity campaign? Alert local media, a small reward, posters around town, vet clinics, etc., etc.?

      I say this because one of our local restaurants had a mascot/guard-cat that became a local institution because of his habit of greeting customers. One morning, T-Bone was missing and the owners – AND customers – began raising hell. A reward for T-Bone’s return (no questions asked) was offered, the story ran on the front page of our local paper, was on TV news, etc., Within a week T-Bone was returned, safe’n’sound, by a woman who claimed (rather suspiciously) that she’d “thought he was a stray”.

      It may save your little girl AND generate publicity for the library.

      • Lori

        The story will be in the paper today (quite possibly on the front page because nothing ever happens in this town). There’s a reward through Crime Stoppers. Obviously we also have signs u0p at the library itself. We hope that gets someone to notice their asshole neighbor/cousin/whatever with the new hedgehog and no reasonable explanation of where she came from. [fingers crossed]

        • BadKitty904

          That’s EXACTLY what happened in T-Bone’s case. Several of this woman’s friend’s saw the news, noted she’d suddenly gotten a cat that matched T-Bone’s photo, and started making comments. Said woman realized she’d better return him before the police showed up on her doorstep and she did so.

          • Lori

            The story about Harley on the library’s FB page got more responses than anything we’ve posted since last year’s gingerbread house decorating party. At least half the people who came into the library today asked about her. Most of those people probably hadn’t even realized we had a hedgehog until she was stolen. She lives in the office area of the children’s library so adults without small children generally have no reason to be back there. They were still concerned about her though. It was sweet.

            It was nice to be able to tell them that she was home safe and sound.

          • BadKitty904

            EXCELLENT!!! The “Save Harley!” Campaign is in full swing. If you, like me, live in a small town, the more folks looking for her, the better. A hedgehog is bound to stand out.

            Fingers crossed!

          • BadKitty904

            Wait, I just saw the last line? Harley’s been FOUND?!?!?!

          • Lori

            Returned by the thief’s mother.

            The return made the front page of the paper today, so Harley was the lead story 2 days in a row. That’s how small this town is.

          • BadKitty904

            I’m SO happy to hear that. “Lost pet” stories very much upset me, because I know how heartbroken I’d be if either of our boys vanished.

            I’ve never had the pleasure of meeting Harley personally, but I’m just delighted that she’s safely snug at home!!!

          • BadKitty904

            This story has kept me happy all day long. Thank you again for letting me know that Harley is safely home.

  • yyyaz

    Uh-oh, Rachel is talking about Jeb! and threatening to divide by zero. Anyone got a post-apocalypse survival bunker near me?

    • proudgrampa

      $100,000,000 divided by 0 delegates.

      Maybe dividing by 0 is meaningless, but that equation speaks volumes!

  • Rachel: Jeb Bush’s campaign was just a giant bonfire of big Republican Donor money

    • BadKitty904

      Good.

    • proudgrampa

      Fascinating story, isn’t it? Russia interferes in the Polish government the same time Jeb is over there trying to “look presidential.” His visit is a failure and he ends up losing the Republican nomination. And we know what happened next…

      The Russians are VERY long-term thinkers!

    • BeachBum

      I lost a bet to my mom that Jeb! was gonna get the nomination. She wouldn’t let me pay so I took her to Denny’s. She thought the “joke” would get it. He did.

  • Jamespuck

    So Trump tweets some bullshit about trade that he doesn’t even understand. But one of New Yorks finest gets assassinated and I have not seen him mention that. What an ass clown, I hope they rip him a new one in Germany. German investment in the US is far more than we do there. He is unfit, and a embarrassing dolt. Tax cheat, conman. Can keep going for days on this rant. Time for some Lake Street and cognac.

    • Ω cynmac will never surrender

      I wouldn’t expect Trump to say anything meaningful about the police slaying and it’s actually better that he just STFU.

      • Jamespuck

        But unfortunately he will never STFU unless he’s got Putin’s six shooter in his gullet.

        • Left Coast Tom

          If he speaks he won’t say anything minimally appropriate.

          It’s just best if he spends the next 3.5 years with his mouth and twitter-fingers duct-taped.

    • Everrett Fanuelli

      Trump’s boner from Poland isn’t going to go down by the time he gets to Germany.

      • Three Finger Salute

        Oh darn, I was hoping there’d be an uprising and he’d get doused with water bottles and melt. They could call it the Poland Spring.

        • Lori

          What you did there, I see it.

    • Three Finger Salute

      What kind of billionaire ever says that we have too many BMWs?

  • Bub, the truculent Zombie

    My “Age of Trump” cheer:

    What do we want?

    To be REALLY FUCKING DRUNK!!

    When do we want it!?

    RIGHT FUCKING NOW!!!

  • Three Finger Salute

    So apparently U of Edinburgh doesn’t give honorary degrees in a particular subject matter? This article says J.T. got an honorary degree but doesn’t say what it’s in, just that he got it for his commitment to equality and diversity.

    Well, I’d say they’ve more than made up for giving the monster Mugabe one (though they later rescinded it).

    Here he is doing his best Connery accent during the speech.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=16JVMntpg2Y

    • jaspersdad

      The grandfather he speaks of, James Sinclair, was a respected Federal BC Liberal MP for two decades. He was a staunch supporter of Metis rights in Canada.

      • Three Finger Salute

        J.T. has two middle names. The second is James after this grandfather, Maggie’s dad.

  • Canadian Courts to hear challenge of the “safe 3rd country” agreements

    http://www.cbc.ca/beta/news/politics/third-country-agreement-challenged-1.4191936

    • Three Finger Salute

      American refugees when lol?

  • Left Coast Tom

    I just discovered my city has a “Halal Foodfest” this weekend that started a few years ago and, this year, has been extended to two days due to popularity.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=msQPHxTUgzI

    • SeekingCovfefeBarbie

      That sounds interesting. I would go to that.

      • Left Coast Tom

        Yeah, I’m liking what I’m reading:

        This will be the 5th Annual Halal Food & Eid Festival in California
        and will include a wide variety of different cuisine from around the
        world including Indian, Pakistani, Middle Eastern, Arab, Mediterranean,
        African as well as American

  • Komsumverweigerer Ron

    Early evening for this poneh. Too much pain to spend any more time in front of the keyboard. I just wish I knew whether it means I get to keep the end of the finger, or whether I won’t be able to play guitar again.
    Night all.

    • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

      get better! (And hopefully back at playing again!)

  • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

    okay y’all – I need help from you (again).

    The guy from the County HR Dept. got back to me about internships. I want to submit my writing samples, cause my teachers like them, but I have a quandry (although I think few of you will think so).

    Legal writing samples are a big deal…i have a motion to the court brief I wrote as part of a class. The class assignment was a bit convoluted, so I had to address a point that seems from out of left field. But the rest of the brief is on topic and (apparently) very good. Aside from the first part being irrelevant, it’s also a bit long.

    So is it ethical if I chop off the first part and still call it “part of a class assignment,” even though it’s not what I turned in and received a grade on?

    (Sorry if these seems petty to you, I’m big on honesty. Ignore me, down vote me, or ridicule me as you see fit).

    Thx! – TDST

    • Picabo

      I would NEVER down vote you. But sorry, I don’t have any advice.

    • hudson srinivasan

      #1. not petty by any stretch of the imagination.

      #2. i think lawyers types are great because they can do purvapaksha i.e., good lawyers can make arguments despite their beliefs. imvho you should submit the whole sample. shows you can construct a fully fleshed out argument. ground up.

      • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

        I actually agree with you! I got down voted points taken off on a torts test essay question when I addressed a very unlikely argument (unless you know plaintiff’s lawyers) just to address ANY and EVERY possible counter argument.

        My torts teacher, said, “Come on…” (that’s a very slight paraphrase).

    • Left Coast Tom

      While I’m not a lawyer so YMMV…I thought lawyers were supposed to respond to every point, even the idiotic ones?

      • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

        true, but there is a movement among legal people (especially frickin’ judges) to keep filings short and sweet.

        The problem was, the scenario we were given isn’t really relevant. It’s what made me struggle with the assignment for weeks, it was just kind of like, “Really?”.

        Soooo, if you read the assignment given, it would make sense, if you didn’t, you might ask, “why are we talking about this?”

        (Maybe I should include the prompt as part of my packet?)

        • SeekingCovfefeBarbie

          If it doesn’t stand alone, including a brief explanation makes sense. This is your best work, right? If you’re worried about showing concise writing, include a second sample.

          • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

            Good idea. I am also including a hyptothetical original petition (lawsuit) and answer based on a hypothetical scenario we were given. Those are alone would be okay, but apparently my brief to the court was really, really good.

    • DrBigHead

      I spend a good portion (too much) of my professional life preparing proposals. The rule of thumb I follow is to give them exactly what they ask for. If they are not specific, provide what puts you in the best light. So for example, if they are asking for a complete work/publication, give them that. If they want a “sample”, then how the sample is defined up to you. Just make sure what you provide is relevant to what they are looking for.

      Good luck.

      • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

        That’s an excellent, excellent point.
        The guy only asked for my resume and office preferences…I want to submit my writing sample, cause it’s my strongest asset and demonstrates advanced capability.

        I guess my problem is, when I attach it to an email, I always say something like, “attached is my resume, my academic transcript, and a writing sample comprised of assignments we were given as students.”

        • DrBigHead

          Sounds like you have the opportunity to submit what you want.

        • Lori

          You could just expand that a big with something like, “Sample #3 was written for X class. The assignment was Y.”

    • BloviateMe

      This is basically a form of a resume, right?

      You do realize that absolutely no one in the history of employment has ever told anything but the complete truth on a resume, and you are the first person ever to even consider it.

      You’re clearly going to hell.

      • DrBigHead

        And a resume, by definition, is a “sample”. Not to be confused with a CV, which is supposed to be exhaustive.

        • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

          that’s the next big question – I got fired from a paid internship after 60 days, okay let go, and I’m ALSO considering whether it’s ethical to leave that off or include it.

          • It’s a local gov gig right?
            They’re gonna know. Own up to it. If it comes up, just say it was not a good fit for you, and leave it at that. All confident like.

          • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

            “it was not a good fit for you”

            oddly, those were the exact words spoken to me by the HR person. (fancy pants, tough guy lawyer apparently didn’t have the time or balls to tell me himself.)

          • So use it, but to your advantage. If you are asked, intimate that it was your idea to look elsewhere. It was instructive, but it was not the best fit for me.
            Perfect lead into a reason why this new job WOULD be a good fit for you.
            IE: “I appreciate my time there, it was an instructive period, but in the end it was not the best fit for me. I think that is why I am so excited at the prospect of working here, because you all are the bees knees with what you do”

          • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

            that’s brilliant!

            And it’s actually all true.

          • I have never interviewed for a job that I did not get, except one time (I decided to get into stone cutting, and mentioned my geologic background, but the guy wondered how I would keep my mind on the job and not be “struck by the pretty stones” and I figured it was the girl cooties that were freaking him out so, I told him “Because I am an adult, and a professional, but I can already tell this is not going to work for me.”)
            Mostly, I bullshit really well.

          • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

            This was the first job I’ve EVER been fired, er, “let go” from…so I’m fighting the feeling I’ll have this a stigma hanging over me forever and never be hired in the legal field.

    • jesterpunk

      I would agree with Hudson, turn in the whole thing and maybe include what you where responding too if that helps to give it some context. Good luck and hope you get this.

    • Lori

      I wouldn’t shorten it because I wouldn’t want them to think I was hiding something. Instead I think I’d ask if it was OK to include a cover sheet explaining the assignment so they’ll understand why the first part doesn’t seem to be on-topic. They don’t have to read that part if it’s not relevant to them.

      • hudson srinivasan

        ^^ this

    • The Librarian

      They asked for a sample, not a dissertation. I don’t think sending a part is either a felony, misdemeanor nor an infraction.
      Best of luck!! :)

      • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

        thanks!

    • WomanInThePersistence

      Well, I see nothing wrong with that. But I am a nice lady who sells cheese, and knows nothing about your field. Have you thought of talking to the teacher you turned your initial paper to?

      • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

        I did, she went over it with each of us on the last day of class. I think I shared that with you all, probably my most proud moment in a long time.

        She’s a woman I greatly respect and admire, and she’s reading and I’m nervous and says, “How do we get you an internship with the (XX) court of appeals”. That was huge!

        Then she says, “you’re just so eloquent!”.

        Anyway, I wanna use it for those reasons, and she told me, just edit it down before you send it out. My thing is, what I really wanna edit out is the superfluous discussion she included as part of the assignment, rather than the good stuff later on.

        • WomanInThePersistence

          If she’s cool with you editing it, then I can’t for the life of me see why you shouldn’t. She’ll have your back, should any questions arise. But again, I don’t know your world.

          • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

            fair point.

            I thank you all for the in point. It actually really has helped!

      • whoaaaahhh! you sell CHEESE.

        where? what kind?? i need to know you!

        (i am not snarking at all)

        • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

          WITP is an expert cheese seller…just ask her about it (she told me about cheeses I had never heard of!)

        • WomanInThePersistence

          I see no snark. I sell cheese in Portland, Oregon. And those who have met me irl will tell you that I’m a bit passionate. Life is too short to eat bad cheese. I don’t know what part of this world you live in, but should you have questions, well, I love what I do, and will try to answer.

          • i’m in chi. i love hard cheeses: parmesan, cheddar.

            any suggestions would be welcomed.

          • WomanInThePersistence

            One hard cheese I’m a bit in love with is Zamorano ( look for the raw sheep’s milk version). It’s quite similar to Manchego, but a different breed of sheep. I find it much more layered in flavor. I also am quite fond of comte. It’s like the tastier, French version of Gruyere. Most of the cheddars we sell here are from the PNW, but you may be able to find Beecher’s. They have a smoked cheddar that I really like. Their regular aged is also very tasty.

    • Panika MCD

      “part of a class assignment” works for me. it’s accurate.

      which county?

      • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

        lol, P, you know i can’t reveal that!

        • Panika MCD

          it’s on the border, so it’s probably a big one–space wise at least.

          • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

            lol, aren’t they all? Big and distant. (BTW, I’m SOOO disappointed in teh library books I got on local history. I KNOW it’s interesting, i’ve read others….these two are just terrible).

    • La forza del resistino

      as long as the context of your argument in the edited version remains cogent. go for it. the readers may appreciate the brevity.

    • I honestly would not chop anything off. But do only submit the ones you got the best grades on for sure XD

      • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

        I *only* get good grades.
        ; )

        • Me also too. Except in Stats, but I worked my ass off for that one so I claim it good anyway

    • Amy!

      Chop it off, explain the size and content of the elided part in brief, and say that you felt that this shortened brief would be more acceptable, but that the other part is available upon request.

    • Bemused Australian

      I’d exclude the first part, put in a brief summary of it and the reasons for exclusion, then put it in an appendix so it’s available for them to read if they so desire. Not sure if that’s appropriate here.

  • Picabo

    Today in history.
    “On July 5, 1946, French designer Louis Reard unveils a daring two-piece swimsuit at the Piscine Molitor, a popular swimming pool in Paris. Parisian showgirl Micheline Bernardini modeled the new fashion, which Reard dubbed “bikini,” inspired by a news-making U.S. atomic test that took place off the Bikini Atoll in the Pacific Ocean earlier that week.”
    http://www.history.com/this-day-in-history/bikini-introduced

  • ltmcdies

    since the GOP is asking Hillary how to do healthcare now….a tweeter has followed up with another ask

    https://twitter.com/Im_TheAntiTrump/status/882751578125611008

    • yyyaz

      Some actual adults weighing in would be nice.

      • BadKitty904

        If only for variety.

    • Raan

      The responses to the GOP’s question are, quite frankly, glorious and also delicious.

    • Panika MCD

      dear GOP,

      here you go: https://www.hillaryclinton.com/issues/

      sincerely,
      go fuck yourselves in the ear holes

  • Three Finger Salute

    BTW: Those shiny Canadian pesos glow in the dark. At least the 150th Anniversary ones do. And they’re called Loonies (1$) or Twonies (2$). No threenies — and no more Canadian pennies, because it was costing double the amount to mint them. I think it’s a worthwhile cost-saving measure but… that’s just my 1.5 cents 😉

    http://www.mint.ca/store/buy/glow-in-the-dark_coins-cat570009

    • jaspersdad

      I read recently that a five dollar coin is in the works.

    • MilwaukeeKent

      I could’ve used that glow in the dark feature in 2011. I was staying in a Toronto hotel, came into a dark busy bar from the brightly-lit lobby, ordered a beer and left a Loonie as a tip. I went out to the sidewalk patio, set up my lap-top and tuned in Wonkette or whatev. Everything seemed perfect, except within a minute a big, red-faced belligerent drunk (I took him to be an ex-pat Brit) starting giving me shit. “Oh, Mr. Big, here, Mr. Cool Guy, has to have the 17″ Mac, 15″ isn’t good enough, and the fool pays 1200 more for a brand name…” The fuck? What?
      I tried to laugh it off, “It was my wife’s choice…” That gave him a whole new opening, “Oh! So that’s how it is in your house, Eh?” And a torrent of words about my manhood.
      Right at that moment of stupid a young guy and his friend left the bar and the guy said to me, “Just sayin’, bro, not cool to leave a quarter as a tip.” They were sitting at the bar when I ordered, I think he was off-duty dishwasher, busboy, jobs I held 35 years ago. “What!? I left a Loonie!” “You left a quarter, not cool, bro, not cool, just sayin'” I took the lap-top and beer inside, tipped the bartenderess an actual Loonie with apology (Loonie and quarter kind of the same in the dark) and went back out. Red-faced asshole started in again, I wasn’t going to give him the fight he wanted and went inside until bar time.

  • Panika MCD

    SCARY THOUGHTS:

    when I was in grad school, one of my best friends was Iranian and when he graduated, he was planning on going to visit his family in Iran. this was in 2006–right when the Shrub Administration was heating up its rhetoric about Iran, so I was a little worried for him*. but I started with asking if he was worried that their government was going to watch him since he’d become naturalized in the US. he told me they weren’t fucking stupid. I asked if they might be watching any of the poets he’d hang out with. he told me that none of the poets he would be hanging out were crazy, so they wouldn’t be. he said that the ones they were watching were just as nutty as our conspiracy theorists, but that with a poorer population, those ideas had more room to take root.

    that’s the part that bothers me–it seems like the conspiracy theories have more room to take root nowadays…is anyone else seeing that? it’s not like we have as widespread poverty as Iran does. so what the fuck gives? it’s it just the internet? but you’d think that people would be used to it by now. is it just really insecure white people?

    *thought I’d mention that when I worried about him being able to get out, my friend said he had several ways home and that he hadn’t seen his fam in 4 years so he was going.

    • I think your friend was naive.
      Our conspiracy ideas have always been around and have always taken root. Usually with poorer people first, but then easily spreading to middle people who were worried they could be poor too.
      The internets merely gave them a place to put them all together and kabitz about em.

      • Panika MCD

        Kaveh’s pretty smart. it wasn’t this bad in 2006. there were loonies, but they weren’t getting elected on a wide scale.

        and most poors and middle class people who vote for these nuts vote for them on the belief that they could be Daddy Warbucks tomorrow.

        • jesterpunk

          “Socialism never took root in America because the poor see themselves not as an exploited proletariat but as temporarily embarrassed millionaires.”

          Ronald Wright (Misatributed to John Steinback)

        • idk, Panika, I knew a lot of heavy loons all through the 90s, and if they were there then, seems to me they were about in the early 2000s also.
          Maybe you just were not as exposed to them as you are now?

          • Panika MCD

            but you didn’t have POTUS repeating their theories is what I’m saying.

    • hudson srinivasan

      oh yeah the only asians crazier about poets i’ve found are iranians and turks. they really don’t have all the meters but they’ve had good poets that’s for sure.

      • Panika MCD

        they use meter in a very different way. they’re like, “iambic pentameter? like, you use the same rhythm for each foot? isn’t that boring?”

        • hudson srinivasan

          we don’t. one thing the indics are not ever accused of is being boring, especially in poems and definetly not in meters. some other day about the joys of ghanapaatha and other meters.

          • Panika MCD

            you don’t use them differently? but we know that the reason the ghazal works is because they use it in a more lyric way.

          • hudson srinivasan

            ghazal is one form in one language. i posted it because it is most similar to persian forms. there are multiple languages with their own traditions.

            since i learnt and studied languages in native, i do not have the english vocabulary to make a better case. one thing i’ll point out is since apart from composition, recitation is also a major science.

          • Panika MCD

            I get that, but to say that there are fewer metrical forms from the Middle East than in English? that’s stretching it quite a bit–I’d say to broken–because, as you mentioned, there are multiple languages with their own traditions.

          • hudson srinivasan

            oh i was saying in comparison to indic languages. indic languages have quite a range in meters. i know nothing about english meters or structure of english poems other than the sonnet.

          • Panika MCD

            that makes a whole lot more sense. and most explanations of the sonnet are wrong, by the way. it’s just: thesis, antithesis, synthesis, volta. the rhyme schemes are unnecessary and 14 lines just tips the reader off to the fact that it’s a sonnet, but can be ditched if desired.

          • hudson srinivasan

            look up: Akka Mahadevi (12th century)
            https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Akka_Mahadevi
            she basically rejected patriarchy back then, and immersed herself in devotion to the abstract(shiva) to do a lot of interesting things.

            one of my contemporary fav poets Vaidehi resists patriarchy in her own ways:
            https://www.loc.gov/acq/ovop/delhi/salrp/vaidehi.html

            one day i’ll translate
            “Samsari pada” roughly householder’s raphsody, which is a “response” between vaidehi and akka.

            also, it’s hard to find it online but their is a work in telugu, that is a phonetic palindrome. reads ramayana one way and mahabharatha the other.

        • hudson srinivasan

          for kaveh ganga jamuni from across the indus.
          https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9zDmAfXS9yM

    • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

      i read somewhere that middle easterners are very prone to conspiracy theories. Whether that’s from the complicated histories of revolutions and assassinations or a sweeping (racist?) generalization), I don’t know.

      • yyyaz

        Don’t forget 5,000 years of documented intrigues affecting the governments of every king/despot/invading conqueror/strongman ever to rule there.

      • Royal Ugly Dude

        Conspiracy theories are huge in the Middle East. Governments love to feed the idea that Imperial powers are to blame for their economic problems, which feeds the paranoia. But it’s a well-founded paranoia: Imperial powers have been conspiring against those countries for over a century.

      • Panika MCD

        Kaveh said it was people being poor and therefore desperate.

    • yyyaz

      Jeezus, just trying to find reliable stats on poverty here is excruciatingly difficult. Estimates on the percentage of U.S. citizens with a negative net worth range from 15% to 50%, with few politically neutral figures available. The point I wanted to make is that at least 100 million Americans are very poor, if not dirt poor, meaning they have access to the ‘net if not to healthcare, dentists, or decent food. There is a direct correlation between income/wealth and education that has been demonstrated since reliable statistics have been availaible. So, take ignorance, subtract means to improve one’s life, add hate, xenophobia and fundy-mentalism, stir vigorously and you have a recipe for lunacy, whether it is conspiracies or electing fascists.

      • Panika MCD

        why not use the Census? they regularly use equalizers for people who don’t want to admit they’re poor by auditing the schools in the area for how many students are on free or reduced lunch. it think 100 million is a little high, but we haven’t updated the poverty line in a while…so the 138% of the poverty line is more likely accurate.

    • SayItWithWookies

      The repeal of the Fairness Doctrine. FOX News and right-wing radio have done tons to bring conspiratorial thinking out into the mainstream — after the Fairness Doctrine was repealed, they became exclusive right-wing sources, and you could go your entire day hearing Rush and Hannity’s nonsense and never hear anything contradicting them, something that would’ve been inconceivable when the FD was in effect.

      Critical thinking is definitely improved when you can juxtapose ideas and decide which one is better, or at least less critically flawed. But when you only hear one point of view — regardless of which side it’s from — you’re less able to make a judgment about an idea’s validity.

      FCC regulations against newspapers (which were important sources of information once), tv and radio stations having the same owner in one market were also gutted, enabling Rupert Murdoch and Clear Channel to buy hundreds of news outlets, controlling consistency of message as well as market.

      Forty years of the right consistently gutting the objectivity and factual accuracy requirements imposed on the media, and this is where we’re at — a serial liar saying everything is fake news unless it agrees with him completely, and some people are still buying it.

      • Three Finger Salute

        Don’t forget “Sinclair Broadcasting” they’re like the Murdochs of radio.

        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GvtNyOzGogc

        Certainly no affiliation with the nice-people of the Margaret Sinclair branch on the ideological front, but apparently all the Sinclairs are, in some way, related. This would be the distant cousins that J.T. does not want to invite to the family reunion.

        • Panika MCD

          we have one station in town that’s a Sinclair affiliate, but it’s not the one most everyone trusts…because: no Kaxan.

        • Hemp Dogbane

          What Duncan Smith does for a hobby. http://www.sinclaircattle.com/companyInfo.php

      • Panika MCD

        Rupert Murdoch isn’t an Alex Jones…though Mannity is headed that way.

        • SayItWithWookies

          No, but Murdoch definitely paved the way — starting with Clinton’s administration, they honed techniques like having a consistent message of the day, accusing purveyors of facts as agenda-driven, focusing on salacious imagery and generalizations when the specifics weren’t in their favor.

          They attacked Clinton on gun control, made shit up about him collaborating with the USSR as a student because he went to Moscow (I shit you not), called him a draft-dodger and implied he was a traitor, heated up right-wing gun-nut panic to the point where militias expanded rapidly, hung on to Whitewater like a pit bull on crack, then were all about the honor of the office and the oath when the Lewinsky stuff blew up — their craziness, when it became mainstream, enabled people like Alex Jones to push the envelope a little bit further.

          • Panika MCD

            so we should be able to use the narrative he made against Tsarina Von Clownstick is what you’re saying?

          • SayItWithWookies

            We should — in terms of FOX and Assmouth spreading lies, and the importance of distinguishing them from the truth.

  • jesterpunk

    Chris Hayes made a good point tonight about the CNN/ Nazi / Trump story. Basically if it stayed on reddit its one thing but since Trump and the POTUS account tweeted the gif and the user bragged about creating it on reddit that made him part of the story too. Then the death threats CNN reporters started getting made it worse so CNN looking at his comment history to figure out who he was is something a reporter would do to find out who someone is as part of reporting on that person. Basically if you dont want someone to think your a Nazi dont act like a Nazi.

    • .
      Don’t wanna be called racist? Did you try not being a racist?
      Don’t wanna be called sexist? Maybe you could try not being sexist?
      and etc.
      Not rocket science. Hell. Not even Art History.

    • RobKanC

      I hate CNN for giving the troll anonymity. Doxx that idiot to discourage would be nazis..

      • My heart says agree. My head says we do not want to become the very people we are fighting.
        My heart tells my head to go shove it up my ass.
        My ass kindly asks to be left out of it.

        • RobKanC

          Its sad, cos this thinking is what let the nazis grow. The social democrats were too decent to do what the nazis were doing and when they finally realized where this was headed, the nazis had consolidated power and it was too late for the social dems. What we are witnessing is history repeating itself, albeit in a different country.

          • I know, I know, and yet the cold part of me still very strictly says if you use the same practices of those you rail against, you are no different than what you are railing against.
            CNN should not have Doxxed anyone, and I am glad they did not. BUT that does not mean that there will not be others, in the future, that can be outted, and easily because apparently the idiots are way friendly with the PII.
            idk, maybe it is enough to shake them that they can be, easily, found?

          • RobKanC

            The 4chan and 8chan crowds are probably already mocking the reddit idiot.. Now, these are some dangerous clowns

          • OutOfOrbit

            How about CNN tracks down & outs the critters making death threats against their reporters children. Too rough?

          • That one I am all for. And turning over the info to the FBI :)
            You know, for posterity.

        • WomanInThePersistence

          You sum up my thoughts very concisely.

          • My mouth is just wondering where the booze at

          • WomanInThePersistence

            My mouth is appreciating the cheap wine I just went and bought. Because I am well and truly exhausted. Thor is finally sitting up and taking nourishment, but last night sucked.

          • I am sorry :/ I am glad he is doing better tonight, however, poor lil puppy

      • jesterpunk

        Yeah they should have released his name outright. It isnt the first time Trump retweeted a Nazi (the “sheriff star” tweet before the election). Keep releasing their names too and keep tying those peoples beliefs to Trump.

      • Picabo

        Punch up, not down.

        • ok, that is too funny, considering what started this whole thing XD

        • yyyaz

          Ermmm, up is the new down.

        • OutOfOrbit

          Can we punch down after a CNN reporter’s child is killed (r.e. the death threats)?

  • jesterpunk

    (Saw this on Rachel)

    http://www.thedailybeast.com/trump-aides-want-kremlin-critic-in-putin-meeting

    “The idea is to get as many adults in the room as humanly possible,” one senior administration official said.

    So is that why the GOP has been tweeting Hillary for ideas?

    • OutOfOrbit

      To make sure that in that OPOS tries to go off into the weeds with pootie, he won’t get far.

    • OutOfOrbit

      Replace “adults” with “nannies”.

      • jesterpunk

        Remember when we had a president who didnt need a babysitter?

    • Left Coast Tom

      Why don’t they just buy a VW Beetle and stage a clown car?

      • OutOfOrbit

        and poosh it into the nearest river

    • Wait, they are going to fill the room with Democrats?

      • jesterpunk

        That would explain why the GOP decided to tweet to a bunch of Democrats today for ideas.

        • RobKanC

          wait what. when did this happen? links pls..

          • jesterpunk
          • rofl, Globe, you give them too much credit. They did not try to troll her. They literally have no ideas.

          • jesterpunk

            They have only had 8 years to come up with an ACA replacement plan and almost 25 years since Hillary first tried to pass a healthcare plan to come up with something. That isnt enough time for anything. They need a century or more.

          • Vagenda and Pee-ara

            Untrue! They do have plenty of ideas. Sure, they’re all BAD ideas, but they’ve got plenty of them. My only consolation with Trump is that he seems so incompetent, I don’t think they’ll get much done.

          • RobKanC

            oh wow. Even I saw that from a mile away, the GOP as a whole needs an adult.. BTW, why is Hillary showing again and again what we missed.. Keeps breaking my heart over and over.

          • jesterpunk

            Blind Willie Johnson could see that one coming and he was blind and died in 1945.

          • Vagenda and Pee-ara

            She should have been the first female president. Also, too, Merrick Garland should have been on the Supreme Court.

    • La forza del resistino

      But having a girl like Fiona Hill from the NSC Russian desk there may spoil the sausage fest.

  • Bill D. Burger

    Nails it! ___ Best summation of Boss Tweet’s psyche and his devastating effect on the nation yet:

    Morford: The vulgar tweets of a madman president
    Mark Morford

    Updated 9:31 am, Wednesday, July 5, 2017
    [3 excerpts]
    He knows only one media trick, but it’s one he’s mastered far beyond normal human reckoning: In the face of criticism and negative press, say the most shocking or revolting thing as loudly as possible, and watch the media convulse as you snort and scream at the TV at 3 a.m. in your big pink bathrobe. Pathologically cyberbully anyone who dares question your sanity or your heartless tactics. Repeat as necessary to shift focus away from whatever real danger and harm was generated by whatever you hissed last time. Continue ad infinitum, until impeachment proceedings begin.
    This nonstop cavalcade of humiliation, it’s the president’s bread and butter, his tawdry reality-TV skill-set writ large and exponentially more dangerous because, well, he’s now got a massive amount of power coupled to a very tiny brain, hitched to a heart that pumps only turpentine and death.
    ************************************************
    Trump is just an overpampered child in perpetual tantrum, maniacally wind-milling his little arms in every direction, and screaming. Remember that SNL skit from the late ’80s, with the big Viking action figure that spins and spurts fake blood everywhere, which the dumb parents just shrug and smile? Yes, Trump is Big Red, only the blood is real (and the GOP are the really awful parents).
    The lies, the scandals, the vast corruptions, the bribery, the Russian mobsters, the shady-AF real estate deals, the obvious Russia collusion, it’s all so painful as to cause tens of millions of Americans deep shame and depression on a daily basis. The New York Times took it upon itself to collect the definitive list of all of Trump’s lies to date – and they are myriad and they are growing by the minute, and they are stunning in breadth, scope and callousness.
    ****************************************************
    But no major nation on earth has suffered the daily indignity of the world’s most powerful human communicating like a psychotic D-grade pro wrestler threatening to maim his neighbor’s cat in a trailer park. Trump is an embarrassment inside a humiliation wrapped in a charade that, as history will record, brought the country – and the world – only shame and devastation. And we keep getting the tweets, sadly, to prove it.

    http://www.sfgate.com/opinion/article/The-vulgar-tweets-of-a-madman-president-11264529.php

    • yyyaz

      I can’t give him credit at this point for even understanding what “deflect” means. His only mode of action is reacting to whatever displeases him.

      • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

        Or even more accurately, to whatever threatens to expose his real, pathetic self or topple his delusional, malignant narcissism.

  • Bill D. Burger

    Look out Lyin’ Ryan….The Iron Stash is after YOU!

    [IRON STASH
    Paul Ryan’s Challenger Randy ‘Iron Stache’ Bryce Raises $430,000 in 12 Days, Campaign Says
    The union ironworker who jumped into the race against the speaker of the House is raking it in.

    Gideon Resnick
    GIDEON RESNICK
    07.05.17 3:08 PM ET
    Randy Bryce, the union ironworker who launched a campaign against House Speaker Paul Ryan last month, is raking in money for his upstart effort.
    According to his campaign, Bryce raised more than $430,000 since his formal launch on June 19, just 12 days before June 30, the second quarter campaign finance deadline. This whopping total, according to the campaign, was spread out over some 16,431 donations with an average contribution of just over $25.]

    http://www.thedailybeast.com/ryan-challenger-randy-iron-stach-bryce-raises-over-430000-dollars-in-12-days-per-campaign

    • LadyLaz

      If he stays union

  • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

    Someone posted downthread about Hobby Lobby, check out this CNN.com story (Dominic, are you paying attention?!?):

    “Hobby Lobby to pay $3 million fine, forfeit smuggled ancient artifacts”

    CNN)It wasn’t Hobby Lobby’s scrapbook supplies, their seasonal decorations or their generous selection of fabrics that got the attention of the Department of Justice. It was the ancient clay artifacts from modern-day Iraq.

    According to court documents, Hobby Lobby agreed to forfeit thousands of Iraqi artifacts and pay a $3 million fine to resolve the civil action the Justice Department brought against the company.

    Ancient cuneiform tablets and clay bullae from modern-day Iraq were smuggled into the United States through the United Arab Emirates and Israel, Justice officials said. With Hobby Lobby’s consent they were falsely labeled as “ceramics” and “samples” and illegally shipped to Hobby Lobby stores and two corporate offices, according to the DOJ.

    “In 2009, Hobby Lobby began acquiring a variety of historical Bibles and other artifacts. Developing a collection of historically and religiously important books and artifacts about the Bible is consistent with the company’s mission and passion for the Bible,” said a Hobby Lobby statement.

    “We should have exercised more oversight and carefully questioned how the acquisitions were handled,” Hobby Lobby President Steve Green said in the statement. “Hobby Lobby has cooperated with the government throughout its investigation, and with the announcement of today’s settlement agreement, is pleased the matter has been resolved.”

    http://www.cnn.com/2017/07/05/us/hobby-lobby-ancient-artifacts-trnd/index.html

    • Generous selection of fabrics? The fuck?
      Cheap prints and only a few. I stopped shopping there LONG before the SCOTUS case.

    • Also, WTF do Iraqi cuneiform tablets have to do with biblical artifacts you lying fat fuck???? YOU SUPPORTED TERRORISM.

      • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

        i still don’t understand “developing a collection of historically and religiously important books and artifacts bout the bible” is “consistent with the company’s mission.”

        • Especially if they are selling them for trinkets or using them for decorations in their stores.
          Fucking duplicitous fucking terrorism sponsors.

          • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

            at the very least, how do they do accounting on something like this? Are they trying a tax dodge?

            And isn’t the family that runs this place rich enough to satisfy their desires for “biblical” artifacts?

            It’s like the Waltons buying art through Wal-Mart.

          • At the very least, they were caught falsely labeling things and smuggling them into the country.
            Thousand of things.
            Should be 300 million.

        • shivaskeeper

          The Bible is a history book to them,. Anything they can get their hands on that may in some way be contemporaneous to anything in the Bible and show that the history as taught is correct is what they are looking for.

          We are talking about grasping a straws like. “Look, ‘City A’ is mentioned in the bible and here are the remains of ‘City A’ so everything in the Bible is true. Find an ancient chariot wheel at the bottom of a lake and you have proven the path the Israelis took during the Exodus. Why do you think they still look for Noah’s Ark on occasion?

          • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

            Right, I get all that, I just can’t see how a crafts story, however religious themed it might be, can justify to shareholders (if any) or the IRS spending money on it.

            (FWIW, I was desperate for a gift for TX Mom’s birthday this year and went ot hobby lobby’s website…they actually have a ministry page:

            https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/222cf5accd1d03f88d9a52ac1a380063dc19115acfcb98f1e007337ab7e0bdd0.png

          • SeekingCovfefeBarbie

            Isn’t Hobby Lobby a closely held company?

          • shivaskeeper

            They are not publicly held. They are closely held, basiclly by the family. They only have to answer to the rest of the family and they are all religious nutjobs.

      • La forza del resistino

        Historical chronology is something their pal DeVos would like our kids to forget.

      • shivaskeeper

        Iraq, Egypt, Syria, basically anywhere the stories in the Bible can take place are hot commodities Add in things like the Crusades and you expand the appeal of artifacts for across the entire region.

        • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

          IIRC, the dead sea scrolls were found by goat herders, sold for a pittance, and discovered in a shady market (also for a pittance).

          • shivaskeeper

            It tends to be a bit more organized now. There is big money to be made doing it.

    • jaspersdad

      As if they didn’t know how these items were acquired.

    • La forza del resistino

      Glitter and glue guns from Babylon?

    • jesterpunk

      How long until the right changes this to the evil Obama administration is harassing a good christian company and Sessions gives them everything back?

      • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

        3…2…1

    • shivaskeeper

      Good. I’m glad there is finally some sort of resolution to this one.

      This is a major problem across the entire Middle East when wars break out. Either everything gets destroyed by one side of the other or it gets black marketed out to the highest bidder. In either case, an entire region’s history can get wiped out.

      • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

        aye, I remember the fears over the Baghdad history museum (with shades of the fear over nazi bombings) and the Taliban and ISIS blowing up ancient monuments.

    • WomanInThePersistence

      Wow, not one, but two commandments broken.

      http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Exodus%2020:16-17

    • LadyLaz

      Holy shit

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Financing terrorism. Way to go!

  • Vagenda and Pee-ara

    I can not imagine Donald Trump in the queen’s presence. She’s the whitest woman in the world, used to protocol and ceremony, and she’s going to have to tolerate some big, fat, gauche, tacky, orange oaf, farting all over her couch. He’ll probably offer to take Buckingham Palace off of her hands. “It would make a terrific hotel, believe me.”

    • jesterpunk

      The Queen is pretty badass and can put Trump on his ass if he tries anything.

      • BeachBum

        In WW II she was out visiting bombed areas of London and victims in hospitals. I saw pics of her in a bomb shelter in a subway. She can handle this asshole.

    • La forza del resistino

      Watch out if he breaks out the TicTacs Liz.

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        OK, that would actually be kind of funny. HORRIFYINGLY funny, but kind of funny, if Trump tried to pussgrab a royal. Luckily, she’s too old for him, and sadly, no longer a ten.

        • La forza del resistino

          Wait ’til he recounts to the Queen the time Princess Di wanted to hook up, but he was busy that night

          • Vagenda and Pee-ara

            Lulz, maybe he can get John Barron to verify his story.

    • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

      I’d say she’s actually fully used to pretty much anything–she would have protocols for everything and know how to deal with it. She’s a pretty tough cookie, inherited the throne unwillingly at 18 or whatever and did a pretty extraordinary job. I don’t think it’s an accident that Trump hasn’t happened to visit so far.

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        I just keep picturing her with one eyebrow arched, with a look on her face like “my word, what is this hot mess I’m having to deal with?” I really can’t imagine her in his presence. I was in Trump’s presence once, and I’m a low class, crude, bawdy, slattern, and I was looking down on him.

        • SeekingCovfefeBarbie

          When were you in his presence? I was trying to imagine today what that would be like, and whether I could prevent a lip curl or even want to.

          • I’d just point and laugh.

          • Vagenda and Pee-ara

            I was at a party in a nightclub for a fashion designer, in the late 80s, or early 90s, in NYC. It turned out to be a slightly gross party.* I remember one Wall Street douchebag asking another “hey, do you want to fuck a Russian model?” But the drinks were free, and the girls were pretty, so I was hanging out with my straight girlfriend (I’m a lady gay). So Trump breezes in to the party (by himself)** and starts hitting on these two women who were clearly together. Their body language was all “uhhh…no thanks, gross pig.” So after a while, my friend and I head to the bar to get some more free drinks (the reason I was there). We had the gross misfortune privilege of having to rub against Trump as we walked to the bar. He was on his way out, after not getting laid. So as he rubbed past us, I looked over my shoulder to see if my straight friend though he was attractive, and she’s making a face like she’s going to puke.

            *There was another party around that time that was for the makeup artist Kevin Aucoin, that was labeled “the party of the decade.” It had Linda Evangelista and Christy Turlington on a swing! It had Cher! It had Janet Jackson! I had an invitation to that party, but didn’t go because I was tired, but I showed up to this shit party. I have always regretted that.

            **Note that Trump said he couldn’t have molested any ladies in the 1980s because he NEVER went out alone. Fucking liar!

          • SeekingCovfefeBarbie

            Thanks for the story. Of course he lied.

          • Does he ever tell the truth unless it is by accident?

        • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

          Ewww I hope you had a Silkwood shower afterwards EWWW! Yes, I really can’t picture the Queen and Trump. It’s so disgusting that it even exists as a possibility.

    • yyyaz

      “Make it look like an accident, 007.”
      “Yes, mum.”

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        Don’t get my hopes up!

    • SeekingCovfefeBarbie

      Pft. She’s lived through two World Wars. Also, unlike trump, I bet she has a staff that will brief her on His Boorishness and take steps to keep him in line.

      • CripesAmighty

        And drove an ambulance in the second. Child’s play.

    • jaspersdad

      They would have absolutely nothing in common to talk about.

    • BadKitty904

      Like Rodney Dangerfield, but with less class.

      • Pax Americana Per Ars Smith

        And less respect!

      • WomanInThePersistence

        I bet she could use “Bless your heart” with devastating effect.

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        Please, let’s not drag poor Rodney in to this. He was just putting on an act, spoofing crass buffoons like Trump. He might have actually modeled his rich jerk character after Trump.

        • BadKitty904

          I could see that.

      • Dangerfield was funny because at least half his jokes made fun of himself. Trump could never allow himself to be the butt of a joke, much less the butt of his own joke.

        • BadKitty904

          An interesting distinction.

    • CripesAmighty

      HM will undoubtedly address him with the same noncommittal ‘well isn’t that nice’ smile she used when Idi Amin showed up at Buckingham unannounced.

    • yeah my money’s on lilibet.

    • SeekingCovfefeBarbie

      Bets on whether he’ll tell her how bigly he won the election?

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        I’m sure he’ll regale her of his yooge victory. She’ll nod sagely, but her thought bubble will read “I wonder how many puppies my Corgis will welp this year?”

    • Three Finger Salute

      Maybe Justin can “pirouette” in Donald’s face and “accidentally” give him a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick. With votes “highest honors,” of course.

      “Soory.”

  • Persistent Demme

    Dear Evan,
    This is MUCH healthier for you than your crush on Jared “American Psycho” Kushner.
    Love, Demme

    Btw: I hate that “balancing a child on your palm” thing.
    My brother-in-law used to do that all the time.
    It makes me super nervous.

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      I think most of the Wonketariat would like for Justin Trudeau to balance them on his thigh. Sigh…I remember when America used to have a sexy, intelligent, young president. Lo, all those many months ago.

    • jaspersdad

      The lady in the background feels the same as you.

    • Three Finger Salute

      Don’t tempt Justin, he’ll cause the kid to levitate.

  • jaspersdad

    There is no entrance fee for any our National Parks, National Historic sites, National Marine Conservation Areas this year, so come on up wonkers.

    https://www.pc.gc.ca/en/voyage-travel/admission

  • Three Finger Salute

    Trudeau’s assistant is getting some attention on the interwebs too. What do y’all think?

    http://time.com/4844949/justin-trudeau-assistant/

    https://pbs.twimg.com/profile_images/633667520055128065/GX0WwK2D_400x400.jpg

    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DD5wIqnVoAAtC5H.jpg

    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DD5rOGRXoAAh5st.jpg

    He’s not Justin. Nobody’s Justin. But I think he’s got kind of a Young Travolta vibe.

    • BadKitty904

      Maybe once he’s graduated from high school?

      • LadyLaz

        Yeah I’ve always liked my men scruffy

        • BadKitty904

          I’ve always preferred men.

          • LadyLaz

            Welllll he is probably legal. Lol. But you won’t get any disagreement from me

    • OutOfOrbit

      How about some pix of sleeping babes?

    • Panika MCD

      meh.

  • Reximus
    • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

      happened to my old man after surgery – they moved him too fast and he developed an infection that damaged his heart. Damn near killed him. (He managed to hang on for 2 more years).

    • OutOfOrbit

      He has healthcare coverage to the moon & back, so I’m not concerned.

    • LadyLaz

      But I don’t understand? The NRA told us that the only thing that protects us from a bad man with a gun is a good man with a gun. There were capitol police there with guns? Why couldn’t they save him?

      I do hope he recovers and rejects the NRA

    • shivaskeeper

      Still give not one single fuck about him. This is the world he wants for the rest of us, he can live or die in it too. Fuck him.

      • BadKitty904

        Fighting gun-control laws has consequences.

        • shivaskeeper

          Up until this incident it has only had consequences of us, not for the GOPers in Congress. Again, fuck him. He can live here with the rest of us wondering is the jackass next to him is going to drop his unsafe, loaded pistol and accidentally shot him, or if someone else is out there with a tenuous grasp on sanity, he means, and the “right” to another AR due to the laws he helped push through might be in his neighborhood.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      The wound he suffered is VERY VERY tricky. I’m not surprised, really.

    • Delu

      Sad? Yes.

      But irony sometimes is.

    • SayItWithWookies

      Oh, he’ll be fine — there’s no gangrenous infection Steve Scalise can’t co-opt and use in his next campaign.

      • Mpeg

        You are wicked! ;)

    • Panika MCD

      did they dig in the wound to try to remove the bullet right there on the field? it’s not like he’s President Garfield or anything.

  • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

    I mentioned htis last night, but I’m REALLY enjoying season 1 of the original Twilight Zone on Netflix.

    • BadKitty904

      Now, THAT was some REAL screenwriting.

      • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

        IKR? I was gushing about Sterling last night as well.

        • BadKitty904

          Simple, clever, original…even now.

          • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

            and, as mentioned, the B&W cinematography is really well done.

          • BadKitty904

            Esp. as the first season had a budget of like $25, as the channel execs weren’t sure the show would “catch on”.

          • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

            i seem to recall there was a live television season and the filmed episodes; these are obviously the filmed versions.

          • BadKitty904
    • WomanInThePersistence

      I do love the Twilight Zone, but I can’t watch it without thinking of this.

      http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/1970/07/let-us-now-appraise-famous-writers/305319/

      • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

        heh, I keep thinking of the “the spooky door” parody from Futurama.

        • WomanInThePersistence

          Jessica Mitford is one of my sheros.

      • Are you sure they aren’t describing Trump University in that article? It certainly sounds like the same scam.

        • WomanInThePersistence

          It’s not like Trump has come up with anything original. Ever. I’m sure there was a ridiculously over-priced cuneiform school in Sumaria. And those wanna be scribes got nada.

          • Don’t forget the “How to right Holy Scriptures School,” in ancient Palestine. They weren’t so strong on spelling either.

    • shivaskeeper

      The problem with watching an original like that was is if you never saw it before you can spot the tropes coming a mile away because they have been redone over and over by imitators. If you forget, you start to look at the original as being derivative of something else.

      Twilight Zone kicks some serious ass though.

      • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

        i’m watching the gambler episode – terrifying.

        • shivaskeeper

          Just remember this line, “We just heard you offer the apology for all the monsters of our times”. When you hear that one you will have found my favorite episode.

          • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

            gah! I have no memory…okay, I’ll look for it. (I should put down the beer and pay attention).
            ; )

          • shivaskeeper

            The episode is “Death’s Head Revisited”.

  • BackDoorMan

    … this one is for you, Evan… https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/50c03e0c66c745d77ad6f2f048cc019bf294d7414b0bbbd3d84447c0b02da0c3.jpg … you’re welcome. I was quite a chore getting it off the bedroom ceiling to post here.

  • LadyLaz

    Hey wonketteers, I feel like you all probably saw this, but it is hilarious:
    All these people are dive bombing the Indiana GOP to say how O-care saved their lives

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/18e912af7cda2b755671b1b6507011a7f12b2af701d1cab6e1b9d7fb7e6c0766.png

    • jaspersdad

      I saw it on TPM earlier. Some of the replies are hilarious.

      “So many horror stories, when will this thread be deleted?”

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      From CBS:
      “Kyle Hupfer, Indiana Republican Party State Chairman, told CBS News in a statement that the responses supporting the ACA were prompted by DNC-affiliated groups sharing the post over social media.

      “This is what you would expect when Democratic National Committee affiliated groups begin to share the message across social media and ask their folks to engage,” said Hupfer. He added, “What we know is that these responses do not represent the majority of Hoosiers who, when asked, time and time again say they want Obamacare repealed.”

      Pete Seat, Executive Director of Strategic Communications for the Indiana Republican Party, echoed Hupfer’s statement, telling CBS News that the page had in fact received “a number of responses via private message and email” that were not included in the comments.

      “There are those who view health care as a deeply personal and private matter and wanted to share their story accordingly,” added Seat. ”

      RIGHT, ALL THE PEOPLE WITH NEGATIVE STORIES, WANTED TO DO SO PRIVATELY.

      • Lori

        THE LURKERS SUPPORT ME IN EMAIL!!!ELEVENTY!

        • Vagenda and Pee-ara

          They should get John Barron, Trump’s press secretary that nobody has ever actually seen, to answer all those letters. He can also tell those people how Madonna totally wanted to bang him Trump.

      • SayItWithWookies

        “We’d love to show you all these letters and postcards — we’ll have them online as soon as our webmaster types them up into html.”

        • Vagenda and Pee-ara

          Exactly! They totally are real, just like my Canadian girlfriend.

      • CripesAmighty

        Really? Is that why you put it on Twitter?

        • Vagenda and Pee-ara

          It’s totally personal!!! That’s why we asked you to share your nightmare stories with the world on our Twitter feed.

          LOL – You’d think the GOP would learn that whenever they pull this shit, they get eviscerated by the public. I can’t remember what the last thing they did that blew up in their face so badly, but it was similar to this, and the responses were hilarious.

  • Bub, the truculent Zombie

    Plus ça change, plus c’est la même chose.

    https://twitter.com/KevinMKruse/status/882580440850333696

    • RobKanC

      Nice to see that the ignorance hasn’t changed in this country.. We can atleast console ourselves that we are as shitty as we were in the 60s.

      • yyyaz

        The piece written and the petition passing was done in 1951. I would like to think the results would have been marginally better in the ’60s.
        ETA: By the time Tailgunner Joe died in 1957, he was nearly universally mocked, discredited and hated.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Plus ça change, plus c’est la même chose

    • TJ Barke

      Stupid motherfuckers.

  • CripesAmighty

    Oh, boy! On Lawrence O’Donnell, Colonel Larry is about to evaluate the Tangerine Turd using the Army Leadership Field Manual. This oughta be good.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      The carnage should be impressive.

  • BadKitty904

    A lil’ treat for our retro-Wonketteers:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H75ivqdjgCg

  • Panika MCD

    trying to decide whether to submit to a poetry contest based in Hong Kong….

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      Do it! What do you have to lose?

      • Panika MCD

        $15

        • yyyaz

          If the judges are that cheaply bought, I’ll enter, too.

          • Panika MCD

            that’s not cheap. cheap is $3-5 if it’s not free.

          • yyyaz

            I mistakenly assumed at least $13 of the entry fee would be going to the judges.

          • Panika MCD

            probably less because there are readers who go through the slush pile and narrow it down to 10-25 poems for the judge.

          • Panika MCD