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And a good whiskey Wednesday to you, Wonkers! How was your Fourth of July? Did you burn and eat meat/non-meat things on bread with sauce while things went all pew-pew-explodey too? Here’s some of the things we may be talking about today.

Republican senators’ reality distortion fields are on 11 as they dodge questions, townhalls, and protesters.

Veterans will be screwed the hardest under TrumpCare, but I’m sure it’s just another cost-saving necessity, like when Iraqi war vets were lying in asbestos and rat shit at Walter Reed under Bush 43.

Republicans are worried about Democrats expanding the Trump-Russia investigation because it could unveil some dirty, little secrets about political operatives, or just a crazy nut with an axe to grind. Why not both?

The GOP is still dead-set on dismantling healthcare, the tax code, and the federal budget even though their chances accomplishing anything before mid-terms are increasingly slim since they can’t agree on how best to screw the sick and the poor.

Gary Cohn is making enemies in Trump’s White House by trying to steer Trump’s sinking ship every time President Bannon steps away to grab another wee nip of the creature.

Prince Jared has been busy making it look like big things are happening but in reality he’s a child screwing with power tools.

Gun fetishists want SCOTUS to let them conceal carry boomsticks across state lines, but the SCOTUS (again) told them to fuck off, so they’re trying to stand their ground.

Louisiana Rep. Clay Higgins made a video inside an Auschwitz gas chamber, prompting the official Auschwitz-Birkenau Memorial and Museum to remind him he should show some respect and shut his mouth.

A case is going to trial over a company that manufactured and planted false stories to drive stock prices, according to the SEC, which is now warning companies to stop pump-and-dumping fake news stories/one penny stocks.

Illinois Republican Governor Bruce Rauner vetoed a budget bill because it didn’t contain tax cuts, spending reductions for state employees and their benefits, and the ability to dissolve or eliminate local governments. The joke here is Rauner.

Maine and New Jersey ended their state government shutdowns after passing budgets, with Maine’s Republican Gov. Paul LaPage bitching about funding Head Start programs and a moratorium on $162 million cuts to schools, and Chris Christie caving in to the weight of public pressure.

William Leary III, the judge in the Philando Castile case, wrote a letter thanking the jury for finding finding a reasonable doubt, noting that it was, “the right thing.” For certain definitions of “right.”

Iraqi Christians are wondering why they’re being deported from the US seeing as how they aren’t Muslims.

North Korea launched an ICBM as a gift to America for its birthday, so America and South Korea put on a fancy fireworks show with rockets and missiles.

An Indiana PR company with ties to Trump, Mike Pence, Tom Price, Scott Walker, and Chris Christie is using the Seth Rich conspiracy garbage peddled by Sean Hannity to sell anti-aging creams in a social media scam.

Trump TV is dead due to an amalgam of all that winning we’ve been doing lately.

Reporters Without Borders has issued a warning for journalists operating inside the United States as Trump’s tweets have brought all the crazies out of the woods.

Prosecutors in the fraud case against pharma bro Martin Shrekli are seeking a gag order to keep pharma bro from shit-posting on social media. The world could only be so lucky.

Pompous conservative blowhard Hugh Hewitt’s new column is all about how Trump is a grumpy loser, but all the other Republican appointees are winners because they aren’t mean old men.

NPR started tweeting out the Declaration of Independence (as it does every. fucking. year.) and that caused all kinds of bitter idiots to leak out from the anus of the Internet and complain about liberal propaganda.

And here’s your morning Nice Time! KIWI SEXYTIMES!

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  • Nounverb911
  • Nounverb911
  • Nounverb911
  • memzilla Ω

    William Leary III, the judge in the Philando Castile case, wrote a letter thanking the jury for finding finding a reasonable doubt, noting that it was, “the right thing.”

    I’m pretty sure it was a homonym for “right.”

  • coozledad

    Pitch for an arty feature length.

    Melvin and Donald
    An out of work hardhat picks up an odd man in a suit with an improperly tied tie in the Nevada desert.
    The man keeps insisting he’s the President of the US, but Melvin doesn’t believe him until ‘Donald” shits himself in Melvin’s truck.
    “Well I’ll be damned.” Says Melvin.

    https://twitter.com/AynRandPaulRyan/status/882356667391725570

    • Bill D. Burger

      Trump: “I may have Alzheimer’s ….. but at least I don’t have Alzheimer’s ___ LOSERS!”

    • BigCSouthside

      His limo has the fucking presidential seal on the door

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        He was looking for the Trump family royal crest.

      • Indivisible Snark Tank

        “It’s not gold? I thought I told Jared to have it coated in 24K gold…”

    • Les Appentis De la résistance

      I wonder who is running things. Bannon?

    • TheGrandWazoo2

      Probably not the first black Caddy he’s tried to avoid.

      • From Russia with Love

        LOL!

    • BigCSouthside

      Also, on what fuckkng planet is the limo directly at the bottom of Air Force One’s stairs NOT for the President?

      • Oblios_Cap

        It’s at the bottom of the stairs in case Trump slips and falls down those scary things!

    • arglebargle

      Holy shit. It’s right in front of him, ferchristssakes. A proverbial barn door.

  • ManchuCandidate

    Wait till the fucking nutters discover what the Constitution has written beyond the 2nd Amendment with all that liebrul talk ’bout them freeing uppity black people, giving those evil conniving pesky loud women the vote, banning booze, repealing booze ban and having no official state religion (note: the unofficial state religion is money, not Jeebus.)

    • Indivisible Snark Tank

      “The Founding Fathers di’n’t write nuthin’ after the Second. Period.”
      — Win G. Nutt

    • Mystery_Poster

      Interesting fact (I made a journey to the women’s museum this holiday). Nowhere in the constitution does the word “women” appear. Even the 19th amendment doesn’t use it:

      The right of citizens of the United States to vote shall not be denied or abridged by the United States or by any State on account of sex.

      Congress shall have power to enforce this article by appropriate legislation.

  • Meanie-meanie, tickle a person

    Did I say the other day that John Ashcrack was probably jealous of Trump’s Mage America Great Again song? Jealous may not cover it.

    Following the vision to make her proud and grand
    And make America great again
    Make America great again
    Like the mighty eagle that is rising on the wind
    Soaring t’ward our destiny

    Hearts and voices blend

    “Sue me, baby, sue me”–J Buffett

    • ManchuCandidate

      Does the music video end with Ashcrack masturbating to the flag again?

    • Mystery_Poster

      Did they mention that the eagle was made great again due to the EPA’s banning of DDT?

      • Persistent Demme

        Does the eagle know the the Reeps have legalized lead shot once again?

    • Lori
      • From Russia with Love

        Poor eagle just wanted what looked to him like Vienna sausages.

  • Nounverb911
    • Wild Cat

      It’s not fair making fun of Ann Coulter’s anatomy, no matter how psychotic she is!!!

    • TundraGrifter

      Keep the mixture rich and the prop at low pitch. And the wheels in the well.

  • Bill D. Burger
    • BigCSouthside

      That tweet from president ass hat was yet another example of many, where I went to check the handle to make sure it wasn’t a parody account

    • arglebargle

      Fake news cartoon. There would be no funding for summer school under republican budget cuts.

    • CripesAmighty

      That really was uber-creepy. Cross between a Nuremberg rally and Alabama snake-handling tent revival.

  • Ryan Denniston

    “Maine and New Jersey ended their state government shutdowns after passing budgets, with Maine’s Republican Gov. Paul LaPage bitching about funding Head Start programs and a moratorium on $162 million cuts to schools, and Chris Christie caving in to the weight of public pressure.”

    It takes a special kind of asshole to cave into pressure AFTER closing all the beaches to everyone but hisself for the 4th of July. Can’t fathom why he’s not in this administration.

    • cmd resistor

      Jared?

    • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

      *technically* they opened on fourth of july…it was still late notice, too little to allow families to plan, but just FYI.

  • BigCSouthside

    Also too, on a day commemorating when we as a nation told authoritarians to fuck off, our current person holding the title of President, who is totally not authoritarian, sent out a hymn about himself for the entire nation to see, like a common Kim Jong Un.

    • cmd resistor

      Is that the tweet video on his tweet page? I saw trumpets but was hesitant to watch it, considering the source. I thought at least it might be some patriotic tune, as one might do. If it’s his hymn, I am going to gag.

      • BigCSouthside

        Yep. It’s called “Make America Great Again” and its sung by a mostly white anti LGBT church at trump’s most recent Christian rally.

        • cmd resistor

          I saw the lyrics somewhere — was it a WOnkette post? I don’t remember. WHerever it was had a clip and I refused to watch, knowing for sure what it was. What a serious jerk. He will probably want them to play it when he gets off the plane at the G-20.

      • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

        i did the exact same, saw the tweet, figured it was the anthem, america the beautiful or some such. Then I clicked…it was that stupid fucking song (which is also terrible).

        • NastyBossetti

          Well, as you know, we have an extreme dearth of patriotic songs here in USAmerica, so it only makes sense that he would have to have one written based on his own dumbass slogan.

  • Gee, Your Hair Smells Horrific

    “A prince whose character is thus marked by every act which may define a tyrant”????
    WHY DO YOU HATE AMERICA, NPR?????????

    • Nounverb911

      Trump?

    • BadKitty904

      …is unfit to be the ruler of a free people.

      ~ Thomas Jefferson

      https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/788dea8e937246f32e3f86a0886bf8757ee5bd20f8a2eb57182b5d81aef68ae7.jpg

    • Latverian Diplomat

      Deep down, they know he’s a petty tyrant. If they thought he was a good guy, this mistake would never have occurred to them.

      The truth is, all too many of them crave a tyrant, as long as he’s their tyrant.

      • BigCSouthside

        Saw plenty of that at our July 4 party. Trumpeters just singing his praises. He’s the antithesis of everything that day is meant to commemorate but dumb fucking flag waving “patriots” don’t give a fuck

      • Longstreet63

        Cue the Mitchell and Webb “Are we the Badfies” clip.
        I wonder if we could reissue this document and declare independence from just the current president?

  • Nounverb911

    Poor sad snowflake Nikki had to do her job yesterday.
    https://twitter.com/nikkihaley/status/882344158232539138

    • ManchuCandidate

      Awwww… diplomacy is hard. Or would the lazy dipshit rather see NoKo nuclear fireworks?

    • Les Appentis De la résistance

      Hi Nikki,
      I spent my entire 4th sanding pine boards to repair a ceiling and mowing the 12″ tall lawn because it fainally stopped raining for a minute. I would have loved to have sat in meetings. You probably had pastries and coffee. #FuckYou

    • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

      Plus three Americans still in NK prison. Why hasn’t Little Babby Donnie gotten them out yet? He was pretty quick to complain the colored fella should have gotten Otto Warmbier out much, much sooner.

    • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

      She thought her job is important to Trump?! He will only use diplomacy as a last resort.

    • Latverian Diplomat

      “I was so sure the UN would never be of any importance in world affairs…that’s why I took the job.”
      — Nikki Haley

    • cmd resistor

      OH give to me a break.

      • TundraGrifter

        I was mildly ready to work but no reviews came in. So I fixed the handrail I broke on the back garden terrace.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      #cabinetlevelproblems

    • grindstone

      I’ll give her the benefit of the doubt…had she been asked what she was doing for the 4th? Otherwise, the better tweet would be:.” I can think of no better way to serve the country I love than by promoting peace in trouble places.”. Not this bullshit I expect to hear from our IT guys.

    • Oblios_Cap

      Probably a bunch of meetings where nothing was decided.

  • BadKitty904

    Well, that was the most nationally “subdued” Fourth of July I’ve ever seen in my lifetime…

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      Even the late night gunfire in my neighborhood seemed unenthusiastic. Weak. Sad.

      • BadKitty904

        I guess what we need is a big military parade in Red Square.

        • alwayspunkindrublic

          Next year maybe they’ll burn some journalists, gays, and liberals in a pyre on the White House lawn to gin up some excitement.

          • BadKitty904

            If only that was a joke.

        • From Russia with Love

          Fireworks were awesome in the Sea of Japan.

      • TundraGrifter

        Low energy?

        • alwayspunkindrublic

          All small caliber stuff last night.

  • Bill D. Burger

    THE NATIONAL CIRCUS
    July 3, 2017
    2:03 pm
    Trump’s Tweets Are Not a Distraction: They Demonstrate a New Level of Instability
    By Frank Rich

    excerpt: [But if there’s anything we know about Trump, it’s that he is irrational, he listens to no one except talking heads on Fox News, and that he’s a liar. Anything can happen, and we can be certain that whatever does will be misrepresented in 140 characters profusely littered with exclamation points.]

    http://nymag.com/daily/intelligencer/2017/07/trumps-tweets-are-not-a-distraction.html

  • Nounverb911
  • Latverian Diplomat

    This just in: Republican Senators announce “nuts and bolts” strategy for meeting with constituents. Invite only the nuts, and if anyone else shows up, bolt.

  • OneYieldRegular

    NPR started tweeting out the Declaration of Independence (as it does every. fucking. year.) and that caused all kinds of bitter idiots to leak out from the anus of the Internet and complain about liberal propaganda.

    See? I knew Glenn Beck should have given out pocket copies of the Declaration of Independence with each purchase of a pocket copy of the Constitution!

  • Sedagive ’em Hell

    The Declaration of Independence has a well-known liberal bias.

    • Latverian Diplomat

      IIRC, many 20th century anti-colonialists thought so…

    • Kiri the Unicorn

      It’s a radical leftist manifesto!

  • Bill D. Burger
  • Bill D. Burger
  • Bill D. Burger

    Someone this morning said, “Our country has hit rock bottom.”

    Uhhh….Nope! Sorry….more, much more, to come.

    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DDvtekBXkAAyZHD.jpg

  • Alexander Stallwitz

    Oh my fucking god! Its telling how many of these so called “Patriots” have clearly never read the Declaration of Independence. It also show how trumpkins have a knee jerk reaction to anything they consider biased or leftist.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      They think the local news 5 p.m. weather report is biased and leftist.

      • From Russia with Love

        If it’s warmer than average, they certainly do.

        • alwayspunkindrublic

          We just had the hottest June since they started keeping records 130 years ago, but if it dips below 100 just once, it’s all “see, global warming is a LIEBRUL HOAX!”.

          • Winter in July proves Global Warming is real.

          • From Russia with Love

            I know. It’s not really even subtle any more. I don’t even have hay fever in June in Europe anymore. More and more people have rock gardens instead of grass. We’ve got some amazingly healthy yuccas in bloom right now…

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            Saguaro National Monument/Berlin. Trust me, it’ll be bigger than EuroDisney.

    • grindstone

      The outraged tweets are truly unhinged. Just makes me glad my in-laws can barely text, much less Twitter.

    • Longstreet63

      Some might say that a massive sensitivity to perceived criticism indicates a knowledge of guilt. Others would say I’m a biased libtard communist shut up.
      Who can say where the truth lies?

      • Me not sure

        It doesn’t lie anywhere. It’s the truth, libtard commie.

      • Finnibar87

        The Party is Truth.

    • TundraGrifter

      If it’s not some obscure portion of The Federalist Papers, the Regressives haven’t read or understood it.

      I do continue to be fascinating by the “conservative” propensity for bogus quotes. Heck, Doc Carson and crackpot Allen West “wrote” books full of them. Dania Loesch (I don’t care enough to be sure I spelt her name correctly) slapped her name on one, two.

    • Finnibar87

      I can assure all the idiot Trump never read the thing.

    • BigCSouthside

      Them Libtards is insultin our God Emperor. Git ’em! We don’t tolerate no folks that be talkin bad about our leaders! This is ‘Mercia!

      • Finnibar87

        Funny, how they saw the words ‘prince’ and ‘tyrant’ and decided it was about the idiot Trump.

        • BigCSouthside

          All while not realizing that this country was founded by people not offering blind loyalty to government

          • teele

            They would have grumbled about the tea tax, but labelled the group who dumped the tea in the harbor terrorists. Yet they call themselves the Tea Party today. They would have cast their vote for mercy for a common thief, encouraging execution for a rabble rouser, but today they call themselves Christians. They would have taken up arms to preserve the wealth of their slaveholding neighbors, but today they call themselves the party of Lincoln. They are doomed to join the scrap heap of history’s losers, and someday their descendants will ignore them and claim spiritual kinship with those who are resisting now, and that will be in the service of yet another terrible, wrongheaded cause.

        • Oblios_Cap

          And yet, were somehow still offended.

    • Mpeg

      “The revolution will not be televised tweeted!”

    • Paul Dietzel

      Great article on Common Dreams yesterday headlined “Trump’s Phony Patriotism Clashes With the Radical Roots of America the Beautiful and the Pledge of Allegiance” – the salient point being that “Most Americans are unaware that much of our patriotic culture—including many of the leading symbols and songs—was created by people with decidedly progressive sympathies.” https://www.commondreams.org/views/2017/07/04/trumps-phony-patriotism-clashes-radical-roots-america-beautiful-and-pledge

    • aureolaborealis

      Give us a couple years, and they will be triggered by the Stars and Stripes.

  • Bill D. Burger

    Happy Birthday America! Just look where we went this year.
    The best…the best…the best……………..and off the fucking cliff.

    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DDvrWn6VYAQUitv.jpg

    • Latverian Diplomat

      Not pictured: James Buchanan, Warren Harding, Herbert Hoover, George W. Bush.

      • Longstreet63

        At this point, I’d like to call out the inexplicable lack of hate for my hometown President, Benjamin Harrison, described by his contemporaries as the most colorless and corrupt office holder they had ever seen.
        I guess the way to win over history is to be incredibly boring.

      • TundraGrifter

        Or Richard Nixon – the most personally corrupt President of modern times. Or President Ronald Reagan – his two Administrations were the most corrupt of modern times.

        So far, anyway.

        • Bobathonic

          When did these modern times end, such that Cheetolini is excluded?

          • TundraGrifter

            All the returns aren’t in. However, the trends have been established early.

        • Oblios_Cap

          I thought GHWB had a lot of staffers go to jail, too.

          • Ω cynmac will never surrender

            Not as many as Reagan.

          • Oblios_Cap

            He only had half the time.

          • TundraGrifter

            Yes – but nothing like Mr. Reagan’s sorry record. Read “Sleepwalking Through History.”

          • bupkus231
          • TundraGrifter

            Had the truth come out about Iran-Contra, and some of those pardons not issued (those two things being pretty much the same, in the end), the Reagan score would have been run-up.

            “Criminal convictions” don’t begin to tell that sorry saga, however.

            The many scandals during the two Administrations of Mr. Reagan:

            The most obvious one is Iran-Contra. Had President George Bush not pardoned Caspar Weinberger prior to his trial (and that was a remarkable conflict of interest, given the fact Mr. Bush was Vice President and deeply involved in many of the discussions, if not actual decisions, regarding Iran-Contra) today we would know a great deal more about the debacle.
            It remains the most serious Constitutional crisis of the 20th Century.

            There’s the Wedtech Scandal, another sweetheart contracts mess (is that how Republicans want to create smaller government – to just steal money from the Federal agencies?). Wedtech used the White House Press Secretary, Lyn Nofziger, in this one. “From the White House to the Big House.”

            Nofzinger’s conviction for his role was later overturned.

            Elizabeth Dole helped arrange a $30M US Army contract for small engines. From memory there was also something about boats in this one. Wedtech, in the end, gathered in US Government contracts (most or all “no-bid”) to the tune of $250M.

            Republicans and so-called “conservatives” love to talk about how important defense and the US military are. Yet they seem to be the first ones to stick their heads into the money trough.

            Congress appointed an independent counsel to look into this. It charged Edwin Meese in the scandal (before becoming attorney general he’d been a Wedtech lobbyist – there are those lobbyists again!).

            There’s the savings & loan mess that cost US taxpayers some $150,000,000,000 – back when that was real money. How much of today’s Federal debt does that represent? Mr. Reagan’s failed attempt at deregulation, combined with the increase in Federal deposit insurance coverage, directly led to that mess. We continue to this day to pay interest on the money borrowed to cover that debacle.

            At the Department of Housing and Urban Development, bids to provide low-income housing were rigged to reward Mr. Reagan’s campaign contributors. And lobbyists such as James Watt (former Secretary of the Interior).

            It’s interesting to compare actual scandals such as the S&L mess and the HUD crimes to today’s feeble attempts by some to tarnish Mr. Obama.

            Largely forgotten today is the Inslaw software piracy “affair.” There were former members of Mr. Reagan’s administration who started lobbying too soon (from them to JackEmOff N. RipEmOff – what’s up with Republicans and lobbying? Have you seen “The United States of Money?” Fascinating!).

            There were the EPA scandals – rewarding and punishing government officials for their political views. From memory some two-dozen senior EPA officials were removed from office on that one. Karl Rove’s dabbling with US Attorneys is an interesting echo of this one. Is there a Republican pattern here?

            Personally, one of the worst things Mr. Reagan did was to claim that government wasn’t the solution; government was the problem. In our system our government is of, by, and for the people. We – the American people – are the government. That’s how it works, according to the US Constitution.

            Why didn’t Mr. Reagan have real faith in our system of government?

            His lies about welfare queens driving Cadillacs were obvious dog whistles – and, funny about that, we’re hearing those again today, aren’t we?

          • bupkus231

            Sorry – I lost the high frequencies after years of rock music, so…..

      • Lance Thrustwell

        Mister, we could use a man like Herbert Hoover again.

        • Canned Covfefe

          Well played. I bow in your general direction.

  • Bill D. Burger
    • alwayspunkindrublic

      Except when he did.

      • From Russia with Love

        Like I said before, as Commander in Chief of the armed forces, he’s supposed to.

    • Antonin Dvorak

      With few exceptions.

    • Longstreet63

      A classic example of “Piss down My Leg and Tell Me It’s Raining”. Kudos, Huckabee the Lesser. Next, do “who you gonna believe, me or you’re lying eyes?”

      • Finnibar87

        The truth is what the Party tells you is truth.

  • Bill D. Burger
    • arglebargle

      Obligatory why not both?

  • Antonin Dvorak

    This weekend I learned that Shkreli apologists are indeed a thing. On the other hand, I also learned that this rare Beatles recording of a Stephen Foster song exists. So, enjoy the second thing:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WBwnY6qN1D0

    • Sedagive ’em Hell

      Now that’s news I can use.

    • Latverian Diplomat

      I had a music appreciation professor who said this was one of Stephen Foster’s many “dead woman” songs.

      He thought that because childbirth was so dangerous, there was a real need for that sort of song.

      • Jamoche

        Did he have any theories on the 50s obsession with dead girlfriends?

        • Latverian Diplomat

          Not that he shared, but then, abortions were pretty dangerous in that era…

          • Jamoche

            They didn’t get songs, it was all about the idiots who escaped from the car that got stuck on the train track and then went back for their boyfriend’s class ring, and other Darwin award winners.

    • LucindathePook

      Beautiful streamer, open for me
      Blue sky above, and no canopy
      Counted 1000, waited too long
      Reached for my ripcord, darn thing was gone
      — from my childhood

    • therblig
  • Rick Hill

    “Nobody is a better friend to the Jews than us republicans! Just go to my website to see the pictures of me shaking hands with them and wearing one of those little beanies.”

    Srsly, I expect one of them to come out with a commemorative Auschwitz oven, complete with little charred man who pops out when you open the oven door.

    • Lance Thrustwell

      I come to Wonkette for the genius marketing ideas!

      • Msgr_MΩment

        and stay for the gluten- and cruelty-free dick jokes.

    • Latverian Diplomat

      “We like them when they stay ‘over there’. See also W’s affection toward for black people…in Africa.”

      • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

        Repubs: “We even pay them to stay over there.”

  • Latverian Diplomat

    “I had to end the budget crisis. Sure, it was nice to have the beach all to myself at first, but the third or fourth time a marine biologist shows up to assist the ‘beached whale’, it gets old.”
    — Chris Christie

    • Bobathonic
      • TundraGrifter

        We were driving past a Montego Bay golf course on our honeymoon when a golf ball hit the asphalt directly in front of us. Then it went sailing over the top of the car as we drove under it.

        My new wife asked “What was that?”

        I said “I think it was a Titleist.”

        True story!

    • Longstreet63

      Well, the Republican solution is to defund marine biology, you RINO!

  • William

    OT. Anyone want some of these leftover hotdogs before I give them to the dog? https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/707bcfa0d8f5f7a2470177a1f8c1ca6c7d2f47bf15048e35d8c9dd739e210809.png

  • Crystalclear12

    Anyone else feel like they are enduring a second Monday in this week?

  • Nounverb911

    Look who else worked over the holiday weekend.

    https://twitter.com/SenWarren/status/882274254431105024

    • Ryan Denniston

      Nikki Haley, this is how a tweet is done.

      • Cynthiadcuomo

        Managing director of Google says we are paying $97 per hour! Work for few hours and have longer with friends & family^hu261d:
        On tuesday I got a great new Land Rover Range Rover from having earned $8752 this last four weeks.. Its the most-financialy rewarding I’ve had.. It sounds unbelievable but you wont forgive yourself if you don’t check it,Learn more
        ~xs271d:
        ➽➽
        ➽➽;➽➽ http://GoogleFinancialJobsCash551OfficeVillage/GetPay$97/Hour ★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★:::::~xs271o….

  • Msgr_MΩment

    Arbeit macht selfie.

  • “…wee nip of the creature.”

    Thanks for reminding me of that awful Irish-stereotype-themed TNG episode.

  • Louisiana Rep. Clay Higgins made a video inside an Auschwitz gas chamber

    Just getting ideas for SOME of the folks back home.
    http://lcweb2.loc.gov/diglib/media/loc.natlib.ihas.200207020/0001.tif/2257

    • Longstreet63

      “Look at that good German Craftsmanship!
      And to think we’ve made do with nooses all these years,”

    • BadKitty904

      “Research”.

  • Nounverb911
  • cmd resistor

    Our Mexican neighbors invited us to a cookout at the state park/beach, along with their extended family. Good food. I was feeling kind of ambivalent about the holiday so this was a nice low key even. But those foreigners CUT THE RIND OFF THE WATERMELON BEFORE SLICING IT! We can’t have that kind of thing, because DIFFERENT>!!!

    • HorseChestnut

      But how do you hold it?

      • Longstreet63

        With a knife and fork.
        And a frilly napkin.

      • Latverian Diplomat

        I was going to ask, what keeps the vodka in?

        • Longstreet63

          Your gag reflex?

        • cmd resistor

          I have always wanted to try that but never have.

          • Latverian Diplomat

            I have seen it done once or twice, I don’t remember it being super successful.

          • Oblios_Cap

            A roommate of mine and I successfully loaded a melon with vodka and brought it into the dorm at USAFA, where we conducted a poker game and sold pieces. We made a pretty good amount of cash.

          • From Russia with Love

            Put any rufies in it?

          • Oblios_Cap

            No. None of the girls were in summer school with us slackers.

          • From Russia with Love

            Vodka in one hand, watermelon in the other works.

      • cmd resistor

        THey just cut it in big slices (not wedges) and you get juice on your hands. Which you do anyway.

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      Um, this is how you do watermelon? Am I missing something?

      • cmd resistor

        They just propped it up and cut the rinds off like peeling a fruit, then cut it in thin slices and handed it out. It actually was earlier to eat than a wedge with rind, as it only took one hand. Even when we cut watermelon in chunks it’s more of a scooping out thing. I’d just never seen it done that way before. They also had some mango slices with chile powder sprinkled on them, which were pretty good.

  • Bill D. Burger

    ot…but …Great fireworks display in Denver in civic park last night. And as a kicker, just as the National Anthem ended a guy about 20’ in front of us shouted, “God Bless America…..and Fuck Donald Trump.”
    I wanted to give him a high five soo’ badly. Someone booed and the crowd in our area started applauding and easily drowned out the Trump supporter!
    It was the perfect end to the day!

    https://www.flyopedia.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2016/07/denver1.jpg

    • Oblios_Cap

      That was probably taxpayer-funded! Waste!

    • Ghenghis McCann

      “God Bless America…..and Fuck Donald Trump.” Makes a change from Twitler’s ““God Bless Donald Trump…..and Fuck America .”

  • Oblios_Cap
  • Anna Elizabeth

    Good Morning, Wonkeeteers! I see the Disintegration of our Republic proceeds apace. I made it through the 4th without serious hazard to my PTSD thanxs to friends and Bluetooth headphones with funny youTube videos.

    Last year on the 4th I had to summon 911 to a retail store when a young man decided he didn’t like me, and I spent the rest of that July and August having Flashbacks and little sleep. So I’m a thousand miles ahead of that this time.

    • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

      “Progress, not perfection.”

      • chimichanga

        We are not saints.

    • Longstreet63

      Keep shoveling coal…the Blue Riband awaits!

      • Anna Elizabeth

        SAH! *British-style salute*

        • Longstreet63

          Steer midway between Tryon and Poor Cradock and you shall come right…

          • Anna Elizabeth

            Aye, aye, Sah! You heard the Admiral!

          • Longstreet63

            As long as it’s not Sir George Tryon. Listening to him gets you rammed.
            And not in the fun way.

          • Anna Elizabeth

            xD How about Sir John “Sandy” Woodward? Only in the RN could a submariner command a Carrier Task Group.

          • Longstreet63

            Well, you know, if he got the ships to the destination, I’m sure it’d be fine. Submariners are usually crackerjack navigators.
            And consider the tale of Max Horton, a submariner who took charge of the antisubmarine forces very successfully.
            He was a crazy bastard in WWI, but he did very well and gains the u-boats in the second go round.

          • Anna Elizabeth

            Oh, I am an admirer of Woodward and Max Horton. :) The RN seems to have a better command track for sub captains.

    • BadKitty904
    • House0fTheBlueLights

      One of the things that I lost in the move was my “Remember Vets before you set off the boomers” lawn sign. I’m stocking up for next year. (Yeah that was me on the porch at midnight screaming to cut it the fuck out)

  • Joe Beese

    Bernie Sanders is the Democrats’ real 2020 frontrunner

    He’s staffing up, touring the country, and still drawing record crowds.

    https://www.vox.com/policy-and-politics/2017/7/5/15802616/bernie-sanders-2020

    • Lori

      NO!

    • NastyBossetti

      Oh, for fuck’s sake.

    • Finnibar87

      Go home, Bernie.

      You’re old and grumpy.

      • Levity aside, he is too old for a 2020 run, no? Wasn’t he kind of borderline there already?

        • Finnibar87

          Yes.

          Bernie will be 80.

          It’s total insanity for him to run again.

          He ain’t santa, kids.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            Rats. So instead of free college for everyone, we get lumps of coal?

          • Weird Fishes

            Yes but they’ll be dug up by American Coal Miners!

      • Latverian Diplomat

        It’s not so much Bernie I mind, but he gets the kids all wired up and then they behave badly and won’t take their naps.

        • From Russia with Love

          I loved him up until the primaries ended. I don’t think he cost us the general election, but his antics sure didn’t help things.

      • Joe Beese
    • Anna Elizabeth

      I don’t want any more old white males as POTUS, myself. I imagine we will be under Martial Law before then anyway, though.

      • Oblios_Cap

        Not Sharia Law? Good to know.

      • MizzMazz

        I want Tammy Duckworth. A girl can dream.

    • Latverian Diplomat

      “Nobody thought Bernie Sanders could win”

      And he didn’t. Another bad prediction by nobody.

    • BigCSouthside

      So we make a guy who lost to the lady who lost to an orange shit pile in a suit the nominee? Makes sense.

      • From Russia with Love

        Yeah, jeez, you know, I hate to go out on a limb and whatnot, but… MAYBE IT’S TIME FOR SOME NEW BLOOD IN THE PARTY!

    • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

      I blame his wife for not sitting him down and telling him to Just Stop It!

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        Too busy bankrupting universities.

    • Vincent Ricola

      Are all those “DEMS NEED FRESH BLOOD!!” comments referring to literal blood that’s required to keep old ass Bernie alive to run in 2020?

      • Joe Beese

        heh heh… Good one.

    • Latverian Diplomat

      Dear vox headline, “record crowds” has a meaning that is not…”bigger crowds than you might expect, or maybe you would expect crowds that big, who knows, there are no crowd numbers in the piece.”

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      Yes, let’s run someone who would be older on January 20, 2021 than Reagan was when he left office. That’s a great idea for a position that ages you 5 years for every 1 year you serve.

      • From Russia with Love

        This is when the Democratic Party needs to go over and buttfuck Mr Sanders, with unlubricated votes.

    • Latverian Diplomat

      “Last but by no means least, relying on African-American voters as a bulwark against left-wingery, as Clinton did, is tenuous as black views on economic policy are generally quite left-wing. ”

      When you find yourself writing a sentence like that? It’s time to put the laptop away and take up gardening.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        I’d feel sorry for the flowers and vegetables.

    • teele

      Does that mean he has to join the Democratic Party again?

  • Villago Delenda Est

    Clay Higgins is a fucktard. There. I said it.

  • Nounverb911
  • Me not sure

    Here’s a little number from the musical “1776”.
    https://youtu.be/A7K9k84R5ok

  • GreenGoldSharpie

    So glad the Illinois Senate instead overrode Rainer. It looks likely the House will follow suit.

  • starfanglednut

    OT, but I’m super bummed out about my landlady’s kid. When I first met him, he was an adorable, sweet, kind 12 year-old who was into Bernie and worried about climate change. I fell completely in love with him. We went swimming together and I was teaching him guitar.

    Now somebody (I’m not sure who) has gotten to him, and he’s become a 14-year old douche bag asshole. He runs around wearing a MAGA hat and complaining about socialized medicine and immigration.

    I was talking to him the other day about how I was going to buy some granola bars for the homeless drop-in program where I volunteer, and he said he thinks the program should give the (mentally ill or addicted, traumatized and depressed, and suffering from medical issues due to having no health insurance) homeless people “haircuts and help filling out job applications.” I fucking can’t stand him.

    I feel an enormous sense of loss.

    • Oblios_Cap

      Young people are easy marks for preachers and political loonies. A sad story.

    • NastyBossetti

      There’s still plenty of time before he starts voting for him to change his mind.

    • Finnibar87

      He may well be doing the typical teenager thing of being obnoxiously obsessed with a thing.

      Usually for guys that age, it’s their dicks, however.

      • Indivisible Snark Tank

        “That age”? I’m STILL pretty obsessed with Little Tank.

        • Finnibar87

          But not with the same passion at age 14, I wager.

          • The river may not seem as rapid, but it has deepened and formed tributaries.

          • From Russia with Love

            True. I used to cum if a chick winked at me as a teen. Some things do get better with age.

          • Indivisible Snark Tank

            I’ll take that bet….

    • Shibusa

      All that crap is coming from his parents.
      BTW, I have an adult friend (daughter of Mexican immigrants) who started as a Bernie supporter (and who voted for Obama twice) who is now ALL-In for Trump and cannot/will not hear anything bad about him. It’s bizarre.

      • nightmoth

        It is bizarre. I found out that the grown son of Korean immigrants who own a grocery store one town over is a Trump supporter. We talk sometimes and he was outraged one day over the “rape & murder of a 5 yr. old American girl by a gang of Muslims.” I asked him where he heard that and he said it was all over the internet from mainstream news media. So I looked, and it wasn’t. The sources were all extremist right-wing sites and Snopes said it was false. This is a long way of saying: Maybe these 1st generation Americans are as unsophisticated as their 5th generation counterparts in their media choices?

        • Hollandaise

          My favorite question for anyone these days is “where’d you hear that?” I’m impressed by how many people can’t actually answer it.

          • aureolaborealis

            Also, when, for example, someone crows about how Trump has fixed unemployment or healed the stock market: “What policy actions did Trump take that brought that about?”

        • Shibusa

          A dear friend is the daughter of Korean immigrants. When the parents arrived in the US, in the late 1960s, their Korean friends told them, “Vote Republican.” So they did. For years–straight ticket R votes. My friend said she and her sister were raised thinking Republicans had all the answers. Education changed all of that. She came back from 1st year of college (1980s) and sat down with her parents to talk about what Republican policies are, and do. Her parents aren’t flaming liberals, but they lean left, they even punted a Korean doctor friend who is a noisy Trump supporter. I wonder how common their (early) story is–people just vote the way their peers tell them to vote.

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      As a former teenage boy, I can say with some certainty he’s in that “know-nothing know-it-all phase”. Either he’ll grow out of it, or he’ll turn into a College Republican.

    • nightmoth

      I’m sorry. We can only hope that your good influence made deep enough inroads that he’ll mature out of this. I had a somewhat similar thing happen with a group of evangelical kids who used to live next door to me.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      See what happens when you teach somebody a few chords on the guitar?

      • Pilotshark

        “I bring you now a special presentation
        To show what can happen to you
        If you choose a career in music
        The White Zone is for loading and unloading only…”

        RIP Frank

      • MizzMazz

        It turned me into a dirty lefty – maybe there’s still hope?

        • alwayspunkindrublic

          You start with a few chords…then it’s cards, dice, and a life of indolence from there.

          • MizzMazz

            Ain’t it great? :)

      • aureolaborealis

        It’s a slippery slope into a slippery orifice, and whatever philosophy the owner of that orifice holds will become his political philosophy.

    • Tovarish Z

      Challenge him with logic and make him think. I.e. so how does someone without an address get a job?

      At that age he is still politically flexible. Don’t give up.

    • Robbertjan Brandenburg

      Challenge his views and be open for conversation. getting mad or giving up will only empower his distorted believes. If youngsters in Germany brainwashed their entire life by Hitler Jugend doctrine could be deradicalised and become normal members of society in post war Germany, this one can be saved as well.

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      I remember when my kids did that transition. There’s an actual physical thing that happens in kids brains at 14, and they start trying on philosophical positions. Sometimes this runs up against rebel-against-the-‘rents and results in this kind of asshattery. With any luck he’ll grow back out of it (this also happens). Of course, when my kids went through this there was no such thing as the echo chamber known as reddit.

      • Hollandaise

        I went through a blatantly racist phase for about 2 months (as opposed to my implicitly racist suburban community). It was awful and made no sense to me even as I was doing it – why does anyone stick with that one? I still can’t even answer why I would try it and generally feel terrible about it but it’s apparently not that unusual. Brains are weird.

  • Nounverb911
    • TJ Barke

      Wingnut welfare. No matter how garbage you are, if you spew rightwing propaganda they’ll find a home for you.

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      Ah, figures now that the heat’s off he can go back to business as usual.

    • Lori

      This is my shocked face

    • rosenbomb

      Milo is the human equivalent of a chlamydia diagnosis

      • Ghenghis McCann

        Chlamydia Libelz!!

        • rosenbomb

          Poor chlamydia…it never gets any love

      • Robbertjan Brandenburg

        I would say Herpes as it always returns when you least need it.

        • Bobo the Dork Boy

          When does one most need herpes?

          • Robbertjan Brandenburg

            Touché

      • Komsumverweigerer Ron

        chlamydia, chlamydia, have you met chlamydia
        chlamydia the tattooed lady…

    • Robbertjan Brandenburg

      Is it Milo Eatadickulous?

  • Shibusa

    The ammosexuals and their obsession with their imaginary constitutional right to carry a gun in public spaces and over state lines is BS. If the SCOTUS wants to turn every state into Texas, where any slack-jawed fuckwit with a pulse can carry a loaded AK-47 through the streets of Dallas, then it’s only right that any knuckle-dragger with a pulse can carry a loaded AK-47 through the halls of Congress, or into the US Supreme Court.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      The slack-jawed fuckwit demographic is growing.

      • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

        They are too stupid to use birth control.

  • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

    *Sigh* – it may or may not be true, I’m willing to be wrong. But Trump is not, he’ll call it “Fake News”:

    “Now reports out of Poland suggest that the Polish government has figured out a way to make Trump feel comfortable in their country — by busing in people to cheer him.

    According to the Associated Press, Polish news agencies are reporting that the Polish government “promised the White House a reception of cheering crowds as part of its invitation” to the president, and is going so far as to “bus in groups from the provinces to hear Trump’s speech.”

    The White House did not respond to the AP’s questions about whether it received assurances that the Polish government would bus in cheering people to make Trump’s visit to the country more pleasant.

    Finding Poles who are willing to come out and cheer the president might be easier said than done, however. A recent Pew poll found that just 23 percent of Polish citizens were confident in Trump’s leadership, whereas 58 percent of Polish citizens had previously expressed confidence in former President Barack Obama’s leadership.

    • Me not sure

      Extra credit for proper spelling of busing.🆙🆙🆙

      • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

        heh, not my choice! it looks like someone conjugated gary busey’s last name.

    • Finnibar87

      They might want to see his freaky baby
      hands, though.

      Freak shows are not dead yet.

    • Shibusa

      My neighbor is a Polish immigrant. (She gets so annoyed when people talk about Hillary and/or Obama being “Communists” since she grew up under Communism.) She says the right wing gov’t has been terrible for Poland–for women in particular. She was very agitated about Trump during the election, mostly for how it would play out if he won. And it’s all happening…. :-(

      • Longstreet63

        Ditto my Russian friends.

        • SadDemInTex

          The Russians I know are avid Trumpers. And they love Putin.

          • aureolaborealis

            Unfortunately true for me, too. They are mostly hard-right, religious, macho-worshiping pseudo-fascists. Imagine my surprise when, at a dinner party at my house, populated almost entirely by decent people, an otherwise intelligent and worldly math graduate student aggressively took Putin’s side when the subject of Pussy Riot and gay rights in Russia came up. Or the other dinner where the female post-doc angrily dismissed any biological basis for homosexuality: “I have PhD in biology! YOU are telling ME about kinship selection?!?!?!?” (That was the entirety of her technical argument, btw.)

          • SadDemInTex

            I think we know the same group…Russian intelligentsia. They were heavily educated at the best schools in Russia (with a heavy helping of propaganda apparently). I have one friend who is gay and he still spouts this crap.

          • SadDemInTex

            And for the record, my Phd (UC Berkeley) in Genetics (also law degree UCB, med school:Stanford) uncle said many years ago that everyone is born bisexual. Kinship, my ass.

          • Longstreet63

            I must have a better class of Russian. To be fair, most of mine are former defectors from the USSR. And some of them, to paraphrase Mirror Spock, are Ukranians.

      • Persistent Demme

        The same with my German friend.

    • cmd resistor

      Would not surprise me in the least. I heard that he expects a good reception — due to Polish general anti-immigrant sentiment, plus they pay the 2%GDP on defense. I so hope they are able to prove this if true —

      • jesterpunk

        It would be amazing if one of those countries told Trump that they are smart for not paying 2% GDP for defense.

    • SayItWithWookies

      The Polish people should be familiar with Assmouth’s needs – they’re similar to those of the regime they over there a couple of decades ago.

    • Pilotshark

      “promised the White House a reception of cheering crowds as part of its invitation”
      awww be nice if they would all do a nice Bronx cheer, just so trump can feel right at home.

    • President in Exile Firefly

      Not many Poles will be attracted to Trump’s magnetism.

      I’ll show myself out now.

      • Komsumverweigerer Ron

        I wanna make a ‘mono Pole’ joke here…

        • President in Exile Firefly

          I’m sure you’ll come up with something. Just give it a moment.

          • Komsumverweigerer Ron

            ISWYDT

    • VirginiaWackelpudding

      So modern Poland likes Russia? Do they know 45 doesn’t drink? Be woke Poland.

    • SadDemInTex

      Poland is hugely right wing and anti-immigrant. They glory in being 99% “Christian” and the economic migrants from Poland write home about how they hate the countries they are in because there are so many dirty brown foreigners and they are not allowed to treat them like crap. The Final Solution was at its most successful in Poland and the hatred they have for other religions and people of color is intense

  • Ricky Gay

    Guess it’s time for NPR to tweet The War of the Worlds

  • Nounverb911
    • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

      seriously, I wonder what Twitter’s numbers are like since January.

      • Robbertjan Brandenburg

        I actually just read on Twitter that Obama has actually more likes and retweets on his posts than Trump. Imagine the melt down when Trump hears that. (and he will because it was retweeted with him tagged like a thousand times.)

        • bupkus231

          Gee – the Trumpanzees haven’t already been claiming that Obama’s “followers” are mostly bots yet?

          • Komsumverweigerer Ron

            can bots complain about other bots?

      • My theatre kids (20s) who are social media mavens think twitter is on the way out. I don’t know why and as long as they keep promoting my theatre company i don’t really care.

  • bupkus231

    Speaking of “Stand Your Ground”, some good news – A Florida judge has struck down the newest version of Florida’s SYG law ( one that put the burden of disproof on prosecutors rather than defendants proving their claims of being “in fear of their lives” – and also made it easier for judges to dismiss cases before going to trial ).

    Link: http://www.miamiherald.com/news/local/crime/article159394094.html

    Of course, this is only one court, in a county-level jurisdiction, but the inevitable appeals may drive this case far enough to get this silly-assed, dangerous law canned….

    • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

      Let’s hope.

  • Flashman

    …Chris Christie caving in to the weight of public pressure.

    Chris Christie does not “cave in to the weight” of anything. He is the weight.

    • Pilotshark

      though maybe, they was talking about his beach chair caving under the weight and pressure it was under.

      • MizzMazz

        Won’t somebody think of the beach chairs?

    • President in Exile Firefly

      Even light has trouble escaping.

    • Les Appentis De la résistance

      Why has no one thanked him for wearing his shirt at the beach?

    • Tokays_don’t_blink

      Did he pull into Nazareth? Was he feeling ’bout half-past dead?

  • MynameisBlarney
    • TJ Barke

      We were laughing about that last night. It’s just fucking unbelievable.

    • Vincent Ricola

      “We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all pepes are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Racism, Sexism and the pursuit of Killing poor people.”

      • LucindathePook

        And all da wimmenz dey want.

    • Anna Elizabeth

      Stupidity runs deep. R Voters, GOPers, and MAGA-hatters have plumbed depths that would shock the writers of an Adam Sandler film.

    • MynameisBlarney

      Were I more caffeinated I’d have noticed that Dominic linked it already.

    • Kiri the Unicorn

      *whinny!* Good morning, Blarney! *nuzzle*

      Yeah, it’s nice of them to confirm that they’d really prefer to live under Mad King Donald.

      • Ghenghis McCann

        Give me Mad King Ludwig of Bavaria any day.

    • Komsumverweigerer Ron

      just goes to show, the twunts are as unfamiliar with this document as they are with the constitution they claim to revere.

  • Flashman

    A question: following Trump’s CNN/wrestling tweet, is it now OK again to display a severed head of Trump on a pole?

    • Ghenghis McCann

      What have you against the Polish, that you’d want one of them to have Trump’s head?

      • TundraGrifter

        Did you ever year of Alexander Graham Washawski?

        He was the first telephone Pole.

        [Old family joke.]

    • Les Appentis De la résistance

      bleeding from a face lift.

  • Bub, the truculent Zombie

    David Brooks shat all over the op-ed pages of the NYT again yesterday:

    https://www.nytimes.com/2017/07/04/opinion/republicans-government-programs.html

    Where to begin?

    For example, I have a friend who is an avid Trump admirer. He supports himself as a part-time bartender and a part-time home contractor, and by doing various odd jobs on the side. A good chunk of his income is off the books. He has built up a decent savings account, but he has done it on his own, hustling, scrapping his way, without any long-term security. His income can vary sharply from week to week. He doesn’t have much trust in the institutions around him. He has worked on government construction projects but sees himself, rightly, as a small-business man.
    This isn’t too different from the hard, independent life on the frontier. Many people in these places tend to see their communities the way foreign policy realists see the world: as an unvarnished struggle for resources — as a tough world, a no-illusions world, a world where conflict is built into the fabric of reality.

    Well, I suppose. After all, don’t we all sometimes feel like doughty sodbusters, with only our hands, our wits and endless, brutal toil between ourselves and starvation, as we load the back of our SUV with groceries at Costco? Who among us has not known privation’s keen sting, as when the cable goes out on a Sunday evening and we have to miss the latest episode of “Game of Thrones?” Good point David, do continue.

    In her book “Strangers in Their Own Land,” the sociologist Arlie Hochschild quotes a woman from Louisiana complaining about the childproof lids on medicine and the mandatory seatbelt laws. “We let them throw lawn darts, smoked alongside them,” the woman says of her children. “And they survived. Now it’s like your kid needs a helmet, knee pads and elbow pads to go down the kiddy slide.”

    So people voted for Trump because big gubmint won’t let them throw lawn darts at each other? Really David? Go on – this is getting interesting nauseating.

    I’d say they believe that big government support would provide short-term assistance, but that it would be a long-term poison to the values that are at the core of prosperity. You and I might disagree with that theory. But it’s a plausible theory. Anybody who wants to design policies to help the working class has to make sure they go along the grain of the vigorous virtues, not against them.

    No, it manifestly is NOT a “plausible theory.” It is, not to put too fine a point on it, bullshit. Because it ignores WHY so many people are voting against their interests, why they are susceptible to the blandishments of people for whom they are nothing but pawns, simply stepping stones on the road to political and economic power. And that is because they have been lied to, for years. By politicians who claim to represent them. By media figures who purport to understand them. And by religious leaders who see them as a flock of sheep to be sheared. This is what has been going on, for decades. They have been lied to, subjected to the basest, most mendacious fear-mongering, racist propaganda, all funded to the tune of billions of dollars by men who seek to seize control of the American government and mould it into an instrument that will serve their financial and ideological interests above all else. That is what is going on here, that is why these people are voting for politicians who will promulgate policies that will make their lives more desperate, more precarious and more hopeless – while the Koch brothers et al laugh all the way to the bank. So spare us the “vigorous virtues” horseshit, David. Follow the money – that will tell you what’s really going on, out “on the edge of the American frontier.”

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      Many people in these places tend to see their communities the way foreign policy realists see the world: as an unvarnished struggle for resources — as a tough world, a no-illusions world, a world where conflict is built into the fabric of reality.

      Oh, lord. The whole Horace Greeley “self-made man” bit. That thing was a hoary old chestnut when my grandfather was in short pants.

    • Kiri the Unicorn
    • Ghenghis McCann

      A good chunk of his income is off the books.

      So he’s a tax evader then?

      • Longstreet63

        Just like our noble forefathers in the Whiskey Rebellion, I guess. Standing up to the tyrant Washington.

      • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

        Well, I mean if you want to make it sound illegal

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        Makes him S.M.R.T. like Donny Two-scoops.
        Yet he complains bitterly about OTHER people not carrying their weight.

      • teele

        I have a small business, too. We do everything on the books. It’s not that hard, just requires a modicum of honesty and decency. Apparently, these are no longer virtues.

        • Courser_Resistance

          Sorry, but I had my own accounting business until Quickbooks hit the scene. Not ONE of my small business client felt they should be responsible for ANY taxes. Ever. In fact, I quit handling payroll at all because getting employers to remit their payroll taxes is just fucking impossible. They really don’t understand that the bulk of what their sending to the feds is their EMPLOYEE’S money. Not theirs.

      • Covfefe’s Evil Twin

        My brother collected unemployment and did electrical odd-jobs “under the table” for many years while proudly displaying a bumper sticker that read “Work Hard. Millions on Welfare Depend on You.”

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      These assholes would last about 15 seconds in the “hard, independent life on the frontier”. Fuck me….how does this imbecile still have a job?

      • Carpe Vagenda

        Because he’s invented a working class which makes his fellow ivy leaguers in Big Media feel better about ignoring them.

    • TundraGrifter

      Pioneers libel! They always paid their income taxes! And sales taxes!

      Not many people know this.

      • cmd resistor

        I just heard about it last week.

    • VirginiaWackelpudding

      Still trying to get doughty and lawn darts to work together in a sentence.

      • Bub, the truculent Zombie

        Hmmmm…how about “My brother took a lawn dart in the eye, but being a doughty little fellow, he finished the game before going to the emergency room.”

    • Carpe Vagenda

      So, shorter David Brooks: my buddy takes advantage of infrastructure paid for by coastal taxpayers but avoids paying taxes himself by committing fraud. He has thoughts about who in this situation isn’t trustworthy.

    • LucindathePook

      Thought many of the homesteads were given to the free citizenry by the US Government–after five years of sweat equity, of course, but still, given eventually. With railroads and canals provided for infrastructure and getting and receiving of goods.

    • Jeffery Campbell

      Where to begin? Do as I do. When I see Bobo’s byline, I immediately flip to the Arts section and start the crossword. Because as we say around these parts, David Brooks is A Idiot.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      Yeah, the reader comments thrashing him really are a hoot. The guy is utterly clueless.

    • Les Appentis De la résistance

      The entire column is one enormous lie. David Brooks has never known people like he describes. They are nothing but voices in his head.

      • Bub, the truculent Zombie

        I suspect David’s friend the part-time contractor is good buddies with Peggy Noonan’s deli guy, Cesar.

    • Doug Langley

      I suppose that somewhere, years ago, Brooks wrote something that wasn’t complete fever-dream gibberish, but I can’t remember it.

    • Lori

      Many people in these places tend to see their communities the way
      foreign policy realists see the world: as an unvarnished struggle for
      resources — as a tough world, a no-illusions world, a world where
      conflict is built into the fabric of reality.

      No illusions—except for the illusions that they’re independent, unlike those takers, and that Jesus agrees with them about everything. Oh and the one about how they’re special because they’re white.

      • sarafina

        If they are in the USA they have more resources available to them than most of the rest of the world – thanks to other people’s taxes.

    • Mike Steele

      Nicely done, Bub. BTW, David, it appears that your contractor/bartender buddy shares one of the vigorous values of TeamTrump – tax evasion.

      • JustDon’tSayShank

        Zackly. Might be undocumented as well, hhheeeennnggh?

      • Paul Dietzel

        And these “off-the-books” jerks are the first and loudest bitching about their meager SS payments later in life.

    • Courser_Resistance

      Also too, his friend who gets most of his pay ‘off the books’? Yeah, he does it to avoid paying ANY taxes. I’ll bet he doesn’t even have health insurance. And if something happens to him, he’ll be down at your local ER, receiving treatment that the rest of us must pay for, no matter how much it costs. You think that dude’s going to pay his medical bills? HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAAH

  • Jeffocaster in the East

    OK, so I am having an addiction problem. Every time I am on Wonkette now, I want to donate money…..(I have donated…..)

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      Push the button, get the food pellet.

      • Komsumverweigerer Ron

        there’s food pellets now?

  • Every time I read another story of a Republican area screaming about losing their health insurance, or their local clinics, hospitals, and nursing homes in danger because of proposed Medicaid cuts, I want to scream. That’s what they voted for! Cripes, it just goes to show you how fucking stupid they are.

  • House0fTheBlueLights

    Illinois Senate overrode the veto. Now it’s back in the House, and we’re all really hoping they play nice like they did the first time just to get the damned thing to Bruce Ruiner’s desk.

    • Every time i hear budget stories i wonder exactly how much are we spending on workman’s comp?

      • TakingAmes

        The answer is always TOO MUCH, according to Governor BVR.

  • Jeffery Campbell

    Okay, I now see direct evidence that I’m shaped exactly like a kiwi. Less the innate charm, of course.

    • TundraGrifter

      Or the shoe polish company contract to be its logo.

      • Thankfully, since putting a real kiwi on your shoes tends to be really messy.

        • TundraGrifter

          Feathers everywhere!

    • Komsumverweigerer Ron

      the fruit or the bird?

      • Jeffery Campbell

        You know, either is pretty accurate – I’m round with brown fuzz. Oh, now I’m sad.

        • Courser_Resistance

          So are Tribbles and everyone loves them!

          • Maxine Headroom

            Except Klingons!

  • Boscoe

    Well to be fair, the Declaration of Independence DOES have a liberal bias…

  • Ωbjectifier
  • Doug Langley

    OT but kinda getting my attention: got something from the potluck I didn’t expect. Food poisoning. Spent all night with my intestines tied in knots, then got up this morning, barfed my guts out, now having bouts of diarrhea. So how’s everyone’s morning?

    • Lori

      Oh, I’m sorry . Food poisoning is awful. Hydrate and get some rest.

    • SadDemInTex

      Keep hydrated

      • Doug Langley

        I’m on it.

    • BadKitty904

      Better out than in.” – My Granny

    • Komsumverweigerer Ron

      bad news – still in pain from accident yesterday
      good news – I see the specialist on Friday
      better news – a week’s worth of hillbilly heroin. yee haw.

      • Doug Langley

        Whoa! What accident?

        • Komsumverweigerer Ron

          Was working on the table saw and my hardwood pusher broke, causing my left fingers to, umm, intersect the saw blade. I really shouldn’t be allowed around power tools.

          • Courser_Resistance

            Having grown up around table saws (and the attendant hand injuries) you have my sympathies. Hands are so freaking painful! Best of luck with the specialist.

          • puredog

            I had about as tiny an accident of that nature as is possible a couple of years ago, when I was trying to rip a very small piece of trim on my table saw, and my left fuck-you fingertip (luckily I am right handed, so I can still ASL-curse) took about a 1/8th-inch deep rip. I took a picture of it at the time, and it was fascinating to see the perfect kerf through my nail.

          • Komsumverweigerer Ron

            Braver than I. I’m trying very hard not to even THINK of what it looked like.

          • Zyxomma

            Ouch! Feel better, and listen to the specialist.

          • Komsumverweigerer Ron

            TY. I intend to. Though really it’s just deciding whether the end of that finger can be saved or not.

          • Doug Langley

            Youch!! At least you’re not as accident prone as John Cole on Balloon Juice. He can hurt himself just sweeping the floor.

          • Komsumverweigerer Ron

            I used to be. I could injure myself quietly napping in a chair.

    • The Librarian

      So sorry! I’m recovering from surgery and I feel pretty good. Pain meds are my friends.

    • Zyxomma

      It’s late afternoon, but I’m well. Stay hydrated. Drink ginger or peppermint tea once you’re able to hold something down. Feel better soon.

  • Persistent Demme

    “Grunting and tapping her bottom.”
    Sound familiar, ladies?

    Sorry if this has been said before.
    (And I’m sure it has.)

  • Pierre_de_Fermat


    We have as president the closest thing to a nihilist in our history — a man who believes in little or nothing, who has the impulse to burn down rather than to build up. When the president eventually faces a genuine crisis, his ignorance and inflammatory instincts will make everything worse. …

    Peter Wehner
    https://www.nytimes.com/2017/07/04/opinion/trump-declaration-of-disruption.html?smprod=nytcore-ipad&smid=nytcore-ipad-share

    • BadKitty904

      I’m going with “petulant moron” instead of “nihilist” – a word he couldn’t even pronounce – but still…

      • Pierre_de_Fermat

        Doubt he could handle “petulant” either …

        • BadKitty904

          Point taken.

      • Paperless Tiger

        Dogs can’t pronounce ‘butt-sniff’, so that’s evidently not a bar.

  • CripesAmighty

    MN. Sec. Of State Steve Simon on Ali Velshy discussing refusal to submit to Dump’s voter suppression panel. This guy’s GOOD.

  • Jared Andrew Shoemaker Jr

    The Helots are restless.

  • gallbladder

    I liked the kiwis. Made the most sense of anything on this page.

  • Aileen

    I realize that this is due entirely to my position of privilege (a healthy person with insurance), but I am starting to feel not-too-sad about Trump’s victory last November. Can you imagine if Clinton had won? It’d be non-stop ACA repeals, just like with Obama. At least this way, everyone gets to see what the Republicans do when they have a majority in both houses and a sentient turd in the White House.

  • aureolaborealis

    July 4 achievement: This year only about half of the open-carry loons we encountered at the Independence Day festivities in our city were obviously in need of immediate institutionalization.

    • Riley Whodat Venable

      That’s great, but be ready for what happens when Trump starts defunding Mental Health Clinics.

  • puredog

    New Jersey ended [its] state government shutdown[ ] after passing [a] budget[ ], with . . .Chris Christie caving in to the weight . . ..
    Edited for concision.

  • calliecallie

    “In Kiwi couples, the ladies are often in charge.” Take that, you Aussies.

  • SeeTrain65

    “… and Chris Christie caving in to the weight of public pressure.”

    Further proof shade can still burn.

  • Cynthiadcuomo

    Managing director of Google says we are paying $97 per hour! Work for few hours and have longer with friends & family^hu261d:
    On tuesday I got a great new Land Rover Range Rover from having earned $8752 this last four weeks.. Its the most-financialy rewarding I’ve had.. It sounds unbelievable but you wont forgive yourself if you don’t check it,Learn more
    ~xs271d:
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