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The cross flag lapel pin is a nice touch.
The cross flag lapel pin is a nice touch.

Kris Kobach, Kansas’s voter-suppressing Secretary of State, has hit the big time as co-chair (along with Mike Pence) of Donald Trump’s Find The Five Million Illegals Who Voted For Hillary Commission. Kobach is already infamous for making Kansas one of the hardest states in which to register to vote, having pushed a law requiring voters to document at registration that they’re U.S. citizens. By coincidence, that law happens to make it less likely for younger and minority voters to register, building in an electoral advantage in Kansas for older white Republicans. Now he wants to bring his ideas for voter suppression to the national level, and Thursday sent a letter to every state asking them to provide all their voter records to the commission.

That’s the names, birthdates, addresses, and last 4 digits of Social Security numbers for every registered voter in every state. Oh, yes, and also, if it’s not too much trouble, the Voter Fraud Commission would also like those voters’ voting history since 2006, political party affiliation (if recorded in a given state), felony criminal records, information on whether they’re registered in other states, military status, favorite flavor of ice cream, and high school locker combination.

Gee, why would anyone be worried about that? It’s all publicly available information of one form or another, and Kobach simply wants the best data possible, he told the Kansas City Star:

“The idea is to have the best data possible,” Kobach said. “The purpose of the commission is to quantify different forms of voter fraud and registration fraud and offer solutions. And so you have to have this data in order to do any meaningful research.”

Kobach said the commission would cross-reference the data provided by states against federal databases to determine the number of non-citizens registered in each state, dead people still on the voter rolls and people registered in more than one jurisdiction.

Of course, it’s not a crime to be registered in more than one location — it’s usually the result of people moving away and not thinking to notify the previous jurisdiction — and Kobach has a long history of making overblown claims about the extent of voting fraud based on selective data. That was enough for officials in several states to announce their refusal to play along with what looks like a national attempt to suppress voting. Virginia Governor Terry McAuliffe said nope in a statement Thursday afternoon:

I have no intention of honoring this request […] Virginia conducts fair, honest, and democratic elections, and there is no evidence of significant voter fraud in Virginia.

Connecticut Secretary of State Denise Merrill said that while she would share “publicly available information” with the commission, she would also ensure the “privacy of voters is honored by withholding protected data.” As for Kobach, she was a tad skeptical, adding that he

“has a lengthy record of illegally disenfranchising eligible voters in Kansas” and that “given Secretary Kobach’s history we find it very difficult to have confidence in the work of this Commission.”

In a statement, California Secretary of State Alex Padilla said Hell No, albeit a bit more diplomatically than that:

It looks like Kobach’s reputation for electoral ratfuckery precedes him, huh? Vanita Gupta, the former head of the Justice Department’s Civil Rights Division during the Obama administration, tweeted yesterday, “The letter @KrisKobach1787 is sending to states confirms: Pence and Kobach are laying the groundwork for voter suppression, plain & simple” and also warned, “The integrity of our elections is indeed under assault – just not in the way Trump claims. Pay attention to this.”

The Leadership Conference on Civil and Human Rights, which is chaired by Ms. Gupta, issued a statement noting that the same day Kobach issued his letter, the Department of Justice also asked states covered by the National Voter Registration Act to tell DOJ how they maintain their voter registration lists. They also caution that the Pence-Kobach commission is likely up to no good:*

It is not normal for the Department of Justice to ask for voting data from all states covered by the National Voter Registration Act. It’s likely that this is instead the beginning of an effort to force unwarranted voter purges. The fact that the Justice Department letter coincides with the Kobach letter should cause voters serious concern. Kris Kobach is a man with an agenda and a history of discriminatory and regressive views on voting rights. We are particularly concerned that these calls for information may be used to wrongly remove eligible Black and Hispanic voters from the rolls through the problematic process known as Crosscheck.

If you haven’t read this New York Times profile of Kobach and this Rolling Stone piece on the incredibly sketchy Crosscheck voter data system Kobach set up (and which has been used to selectively challenge the registrations of likely Democrats), those are your homework for the weekend. Stop whining, they’re good. Consider the NYT account of Kobach’s bombshell announcement prior to the 2010 election, when he announced there were nearly 2000 dead voters still on the rolls in Kansas:

“Every one of those 1,966 identities is an opportunity for voter fraud waiting to happen,” he said. Kobach singled out one name, Alfred K. Brewer, who was born in 1900 and died in 1996, but was in fact listed as having voted just that year. “An Alfred K. Brewer voted in the 2010 primary election,” Kobach said. “Is it the same one? We are still trying to achieve confirmation of this, but it certainly seems like a very real possibility.”

Well, yes, Alfred K. Brewer did vote in 2010. And the Wichita Eagle found him, alive and well and doing yard work, and more than a little amused: “I don’t think this is heaven, not when I’m raking leaves,” he told the paper. He was 78 years old, but when he first registered to vote, Kansas didn’t ask for birth dates on its forms, so when records were computerized, the blank got replaced with a false birth year of 1900. His father, who had the same name, did die in 1996. But screw details, there are DEAD PEOPLE VOTING.

Kobach has relied on similarly sloppy data to declare there must be millions of undocumented immigrants not just registered, but actually voting in U.S. elections. But even after the Kansas legislature gave the secretary of state the power — unique in the nation — to directly prosecute people for voter fraud in 2015, he’s only won nine convictions, mostly against people over the age of 60 who were confused about registration rules and had accidentally voted in two locations. He finally did convict one (1) noncitizen of illegally voting — a guy from Peru whose illegal registration was discovered after he became a naturalized citizen and he registered again to vote. Obviously, one of MILLIONS.

In another example, Kobach recently touted a completely bogus claim that 18,000 noncitizens are definitely registered to vote in Kansas. The “researcher” who came up with the claim, Jesse Richman (who’s also responsible for a wingnut-beloved but utterly invalid 2014 study claiming “6.4% of of noncitizens voted in 2008”), used this completely valid methodology:

Richman identified 37 noncitizens on a list of temporary driver’s licenses in Kansas and found six who, he wrote in an expert report that Kobach filed in court, “had either registered to vote or attempted to register to vote.” He then divided those six people, representing 16 percent of a total of 37 people, by Kansas’s estimated noncitizen population of 114,000 and concluded that “a very substantial number and portion of noncitizens in Kansas have registered to vote or attempted to register to vote — more than 18,000.”

Richman was hired by Kobach to be an expert witness for the state in yet another lawsuit by the ACLU against Kansas’s voter suppression tactics.

Kobach is also the guy who convinced Donald Trump that the only reason he lost the popular vote had to be those millions of illegals who voted for Hillary; Kellyanne Conway said shortly after Trump tweeted the fake news that Kobach had indeed been the source of that alternative fact. So it only makes sense that Kobach should lead the commission that’ll find out that he was absolutely right. He seems pretty trustworthy, as long as you don’t mind the fudged data, the exaggerations of the threat of voter fraud, and, oh yes, this tidbit: Kobach was fined $1000 by a federal magistrate just last week for presenting “patently misleading representations to the court” in one of the legal challenges to Kansas’s voting laws.

Here’s the letter itself, which you’ll note has a whole bunch of questions about improving elections’ “integrity” (translation: erecting barriers to registration and voting) and about supposed voter fraud, and exactly one very general question about “preventing voter intimidation or disenfranchisement,” which in Kobach’s mind may well translate to ensuring that no scary Black Panthers open doors for old ladies at polling places.

Kobach Letter To States On Election Integrity by sam levine on Scribd

Be vigilant, America! Yr Wonkette will keep an eye open for where Kobach goes with what looks like an attempt to ratchet voter suppression up to a national level. Here’s hoping the Big Media will pay at least a little attention to his attempts to undermine democracy, between updates on what Donald Trump said about Mika’s face.

* UPDATE: Shin Inouye, Communications director at the Leadership Conference on Civil and Human Rights, emailed us to note that we had quoted the Leadership Conference press release in a way that conflated Kobach’s letter with another letter sent the same day by the Department of Justice. We have edited the article and the quotation to clarify that the two letters, taken together, represent a threat to voter rights. Wonkette regrets the error.

Yr Wonkette depends on reader donations! Please click the “Donate” linky to keep our servers and coffeemakers running. The rage comes all on its own.
[Kobach letter on Scribd / Kansas City Star / WaPo / NYT / Rolling Stone / KC Star / San Diego Union-Tribune / Politico]

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  • Latverian Diplomat

    “This John Smith guy is a hell of a vote fraud. He’s registered all over the place.”
    — Kris Kolbach

  • mardam422

    Heehee. Voting Whites Act. I see what you did there.

  • Joe Beese

    It’s as if the Republicans aren’t confident in their ability to win elections through the quality of their campaign platforms.

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      I mean, why take the chance?

    • Suttree

      It’s easier to simplify it to “Fuck You, I Got Mine!”, than have some sort of nuanced approach.

      • Celtic_Gnome

        Frank Luntz found that “Fuck you, I got mine!” doesn’t poll well for certain demographics. That’s why they went with, “Those people took yours away from you.”

  • PubOption

    Are Repubs going for a ‘Man of the People’ look with these ill-fitting suits?

  • SomeBigRedDog

    I’m a dog and I vote. Is that fraud?

    • It doesn’t bother me but it might give others paws.

      • Rags

        It’s illbeagle.

      • Bill D. Burger

        Mutt we be hounded with these doggone puns?

        • Querolous

          There is many a tail to be told.

          • Celtic_Gnome

            By a wag, I hope?

    • PubOption

      It might setter bad precedent.

    • Latverian Diplomat

      “Yellow dog democrats and their identity politics.”

    • SomeBigRedDog

      I knew I could count on you guys for bad dog puns!

    • Bill D. Burger

      Kobach might be ruff on you.

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      Only if you vote Democratic.

    • Manders

      In the voting booth, no one knows you’re a dog.

      But they might figure it out when you sign in.

    • memzilla Ω

      They’re trying to muzzle you!

    • Andrew Rheinheimer

      I think dogs should be able to VOTE.

    • therblig

      as long as you’re not collared.

    • Pax Americana Per Ars Smith

      The whole idea of this is pug ugly!

  • Latverian Diplomat

    This just in. Kris Kolbach proposes new voter id machine. “You insert your scrotum here, and a laser reads the the pattern of wrinkles. If you scrotum is reflective enough, and saggy enough, it works perfectly,” explained Kolbach

    • “M”

      Of course, you actually have to *have* that particular anatomical construction for it to “work”.

      Which means that women are automatically excluded.

      Which …. couldn’t have been part of the design, or anything.

      • Latverian Diplomat

        Feature not bug, as the saying goes.

  • Bananas Foster

    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/kris-kobach-donald-trump_us_594d72f0e4b05c37bb766e6e

    The Head Of Trump’s Voter Integrity Probe Just Got Sanctioned For A Lack Of Integrity

    Yup. He’s ^^^ that guy.

  • Randy Riddle

    How do we know that Kobach didn’t share the Interstate Crosscheck voter data he’s gathered for years from twenty-some states with Trump’s campaign for Bannon’s Cambridge Analytica? Or the Koch brothers voter data machine? Or with the Russians?

    Combine those sweet, luscious birthdates and SSNs with commercial market databases and social media data, and you could build some beautiful profiles of voters to find out, for example, which “fake news” stories motivated particular groups of voters to the polls…

  • ariel_gee_398

    It’d really be super if the country could take a teensy break from promoting rat-fuckers to high office and positions of power within the government. Maybe 30 minutes or so. Long enough to take a quick nap.

    And perhaps white folks would do better to spend less time worrying about non-existent voter fraud, and more time worrying about voting for frauds. Something they do with frightening regularity.

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      Wordplay level: Jesse Jackson

    • Ricky Gay

      And why don’t they enjoy their majority privleges WHILE THEY STILL CAN?!?!?!1

    • Kurt Weil

      I’m going to be honest: I need forty minutes for a good nap.

      • Annmperry

        my buddy’s step sister makes $88 per hour from home. she has been without a job for 10 months but last month her paycheck was $15206 only working on the internet 3 hours every day..➤ check out➤ this link
        ➜➜➜http://www.GoogleFinancialCashJobs461OfficePrint/Home/Wage….
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    • rooster2k2

      This is sarcasm right? The party that wany no id’s to vote, give illegals drivers licenses so they can vote and because you loose we are the voter fraud party…. You can’t make this shit up!!!!!

  • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

    My Secretary of State will probably go along with it, because she gets the lady-boner when discussing voter fraud (she got slapped down by Governor Sandoval for claiming there was voter fraud in the last election with scant evidence and before briefing the governor’s office she went to the press with it).

  • Tzipora Kaplan

    I cannot BELIEVE Kentucky was one of the first states to say fuck off, and yet somehow NY still hasnt responded. WHAT THE FUCK NY GET WITH IT. Also, Way to go Kentucky!

    • Latverian Diplomat

      I suspect Kentucky’s objection went something like this:

      “We didn’t want to give people Social Security Numbers in the first place, and now you want us to give them back to you, the feds?”

    • TundraGrifter

      Kentucky needs to use SS #’s because everybody there has the same DNA.

      [Yes, I am from Ohio. Why do you ask?]

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      That’s because, due to a regrettable oversight they are no doubt already working on fixing, our SecState is a Democrat.

  • Joe Beese

    Somewhat O/T:

    If yesterday’s story develops further and Mueller can prove that Flynn delivered hacked Hillary emails to Trump, is that covered by any criminal statute?

    Receiving stolen goods is all I can think of.

    • “M”

      There’s all sorts of things under espionage statutes that are applicable

      (Scarily)

    • Celtic_Gnome

      Remember the guy who hacked into Sarah Palin’s non-government email account with 2 seconds of googling for the answer to the security question? He got sent upriver, so someone thinks that sort of shit is pretty serious.

  • Vincent Ricola

    Happy Independence Day, America! U! S! A! U! S! A! U! S! A! U! S! A!

    • Ricky Gay

      Go blow off some fireworks, made in Ghyna!

      • Bill D. Burger
        • Ricky Gay

          See that the humans are entertained until the end.

      • Celtic_Gnome

        The World Science Fiction Convention (Worldcon) was held one year in The Hague. The convention ran Thursday through Monday. Overlapping that was an international symposium of fireworks manufacturers that ran Monday through Friday.

        Every night, a different company would put on a display. This was for their peers, so they pulled out all the stops and showed off their latest cutting edge stuff.

        For the overlap, the Worldcon attendees would go up to the roofs of their hotels, smoke some killer weed, and ooh and aah their asses off.

        • Ricky Gay

          As one does.

  • House0fTheBlueLights

    Illinois hasn’t responded because electronics don’t work and paper gets soggy in the toilet bowl that is called our government.

  • CutterTeam

    So how many taxpayer dollars are we going to burn simply to fellate the Orange Man Baby who just can’t deal with the fact that a woman got three million more votes than he did?

    • Ricky Gay

      AOT,K

    • Wild Cat

      Not just 2016. They’ve been fucking with the vote for decades.

    • Suttree

      As much as is needed to get the outcome that he wants.

  • Wild Cat

    If the US were an actual democracy, Kobach would be serving 25-to-life in prison.

    • Latverian Diplomat

      “Democracy is no guarantee of not having a shitty government.”
      — Ancient Athens

      • Boscoe

        LOL I thought that said “Ancient Aliens”

  • jesterpunk

    http://gazette.com/adapt-protesters-in-wheelchairs-removed-from-colorado-u.s.-sen.-gardners-denver-office/article/1606215

    As Denver officers moved them out of the office lobby, protesters chanted, “Rather go to jail than to die without Medicaid,” according to a video posted on Facebook by protest
    leader Carrie Ann Lucas. The Denver-based National ADAPT reported on
    social media that Lucas’ wheelchair was damaged as she was removed.

    In a video, officers ask for her help with the wheelchair to remove her
    from the small lobby at about 7 p.m. She told them it was a $35,000
    chair but officers would have to find someone who could push it or
    operate it, because she would not help them.

    “You can Google, you can call someone, I’m not resisting but I’m not cooperating,” she told officers before she was formally arrested. Lucas then resumed chanting,
    “Rather go to jail than to die without Medicaid.”

  • Suttree

    Fuck him. If the data is publicly available make his minions go find it. I’m sure they have already come to a conclusion, so the data isn’t needed anyway.

  • TundraGrifter

    Is it asking too much for this fool to get an adult haircut? Has he wanted that home makeover show too many times?

    • SeeTrain65

      “Gee, that Flowbee was a great buy, Mom!”

      • TundraGrifter

        Next – homemade braces.

        • SeeTrain65

          “Go down to the blacksmith and bite into that red-hot horseshoe.”

          • TundraGrifter

            Bonus: Bee Sting Lips!

          • SeeTrain65

            1 … 2 … 3!

            And TundraGrifter gets the pin!

    • Royal Ugly Dude

      Kansas is always behind the fashion curve. Every guy wants to look like Ross from season 4 of Friends.

  • Beowoof14

    Despicable is the best description of Chris Kobach that I can come up with this morning. Republicans are trying to cement a hold on power that will allow them to fuck people over far into the future. Fighting back every day is the only thing we can do to expose this rat fucker.

  • Manders

    Auugh. I have a very common last name – so common that it is practically guaranteed that there are several thousand women who share my name – maybe even a few hundred born the same year. It’s great for internet anonymity, but I can totally see a douchebag like this using it as an excuse to chuck me and my fellow Manderses off the rolls. F him.

    • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

      Not only do I have a common first and last name, most people with my combo are African American.

    • Shanzgood 8 Days

      Thee were six of us with the same first and last name at the doctor I went to in Seattle.

      • OutOfOrbit

        An alien pod-person!

        • Shanzgood 7 Days

          There was only one other who had the same hatch-date.

          • OutOfOrbit

            Thank Dog for that!
            Hatched? I thought pods blewmed.

      • Celtic_Gnome

        That’s why the medical people are so obsessed with your birth date. It’s another check to confirm they’ve got the right records.

        I got my first cataract surgery on my birthday. It was just the next available date. From the moment I walked into the lobby of the place, everyone I dealt with asked my name and birth date. I gave them the date, they checked their records, then there was a brief moment before recognition kicked in, and they looked down at the date at the bottom of the computer screen and wished me a happy birthday.

    • proudgrampa

      So, Ms. Manders (if that is your real name). How many states are you registered in?

      • Manders

        Two at most. I’m pretty sure I didn’t tell NY I was leaving when I moved to NJ. Mostly because I was recovering from kidney donation surgery at the time.

        • Boscoe

          SO, you admit you are not only a sneaky librul vote fraudster, but ALSO some kind of Marxist socialista, encouraging “poor life choices” by handing your organs to a mooching kidney failure!!!1!11!!

  • memzilla Ω

    The biggest voting fraud of all is sitting in the White House right now.

  • Nounverb911

    “(Offer Valid For Old White Republicans Only)”

    The good news is that Old White Republicans are dying out faster than they can reproduce.

    • Bananas Foster

      Why do you think they keep marrying younger and younger women?

  • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

    Social Security number? I’ve never needed that to vote. Why would my state have that?

    • Celtic_Gnome

      My state requires me to provide the last four digits of my SS# or driver’s license # to vote absentee.

  • TundraGrifter

    “The idea is to have the best data possible,” Kobach said. He went on to comment “We want only terrific data. Terrific. Not that fake data Obama used. Or the fake data on CCN. That’s just terrible data. They should be ashamed of themselves. It’s going to be a beautiful thing because we always have the best data. Unbelievable data. Trust me. But, if we don’t get it, that’s ok, too.”

  • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

    Luckily, our Secretary of State is opposing this.

  • proudgrampa

    A republic. Can we keep it?

    • ariel_gee_398

      You promised to feed it and take it for walks, but you didn’t. Now look what happened.

      • TundraGrifter

        Deader than a pretend Japanese pet.

      • Latverian Diplomat

        We didn’t expect it to constantly bark at strangers and try to hump all the furniture.

    • georgiaburning

      Can we get it back?

  • WotsAllThisThen

    Don’t forget, today is the deadline to send your wonkette comment history to the commission.

  • Latverian Diplomat

    This just in: Trump Administration announces debt reduction plan using millions of recently acquired credit cards.

  • TundraGrifter

    Since this ultra maroon admitted they have no data, it’s painfully obvious his “commission” has a conclusion in search of evidence.

    • Randy Riddle

      Or is collecting the data for another purpose entirely …

  • Vincent Ricola

    Maybe we can take comfort in the fact that the last *legitimate vote we got to cast was for Hillary Clinton. Bright-side?

    *maybe

  • SeeTrain65

    If anything, it explains how Sam Brownback could win election as Kansas governor. Twice.

  • GreenGoldSharpie

    This honestly scares me as I’m waiting on my new DL before I update my voting records with my new name. >.>

  • BigCSouthside

    A slightly more frightening thought on this

    This is a good way to start creating a list of “undesirable people”

    • GreenGoldSharpie

      Yup. For conservatives who feared the fucking census 7 years ago this is a dark turn around.

      • Latverian Diplomat

        “Our objections depend on who is doing the desiring…”
        — Trumpkins

    • Randy Riddle

      Or a good way to give a data dump to Bannon’s Cambridge Analytica to correlate data and see which voters responded to which fake news stories on social media.

      • BigCSouthside

        Yep, could literally start building voter profiles

        • Randy Riddle

          Or, if he’s already shared the years of Interstate Crosscheck data with them, include more voters in the profiles and use the 2016 election data to make the profiles you have much more accurate.

      • Suttree

        Social the costs, privatize the profits!

    • Celtic_Gnome

      Zip codes alone give them a wealth of information.

  • Canis Greyhame

    So reassuring to know that insane racist fucks continue to have the ear of the President.

  • lowenufc

    And the march for the Fascist Republican Country goes on!

    • yyyaz

      And the finish line is plainly visible.

    • Celtic_Gnome

      The Whinemore Republic.

  • Snopes Shop

    This will never be reported on by the MSM. MAYBE John Oliver will talk about it, no one else.

    • SayItWithWookies

      NPR had a story about it this morning.

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      Rachel will cover it. And Lawrence may.

  • Bill D. Burger

    Trump supporters (*aka: Brownbackers’) in Kansas are sending thoughts & prayers for success straight to Kobach through that new fangled ‘radio device.’

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/b737599297a15a0b5821fbfcd785eb26016624d8585c627c3749eb007154a6fa.jpg

    • GreenGoldSharpie

      You mean they finally packed in the telegraph?

      • kareemachan

        Now they’re back to using smoke signals as drumpster has gotten rid of EPA regulations.

    • bupkus231

      “Brownbackers” – that sounds dirtier than it should be.

      I likee!

  • Shanzgood 8 Days

    My son was one of the 20,000 or so newly registered voters who got chucked off the rolls for not providing proof of citizenship when he registered at the DMV. A Federal judge told Kobach “nah, son” and those voters were un-purged finally.

  • Kurt Weil

    I live in Wisconsin. I’m curious how quickly Walker will lube his butt up for this one.

  • Lefty Wright

    I also wonder how having the last four digits of your social security number easily accessible to anyone anywhere will impact fraudulent use of SSNs. An article a few years ago brought up that until very recently, SSNs were numerically assigned to specific regions and Social Security offices. So, for example, SSNs starting with 567 were all from an specific area from, say, 1977 to 1980. Knowing that Arnold Slotsbech was born in that area in 1978 may give you a very good idea of what his first three numbers are. Especially since for several decades, most parents applied for a SSN for their kid at birth. Now, you can easily find his last four. Meaning you have a one in ninety nine chance of randomly getting his SSN right by hitting only the middle two numbers. It is not an absolute method, but millions of SSNs may be at risk of illegal use by this system.

    • Latverian Diplomat

      Unfortunately, SSNs were developed a generation before computers, so they had to make optimizations in assignment like that.

      On a related note, SSNs could really use a check digit or two. ISBNs are a better system than SSNs.

      If this country wasn’t so terrified of even the simplest changes, we could reissue the SSNs, but we can’t even get rid of the penny for chrissakes.

      • GreenGoldSharpie

        Modernization means conservatives will go in the vats and be fed to brainwashed mud children.

        Or something.

        But, seriously, talk to some of the memaws who support Trump, and they’re paranoid about upgrading anything.

      • bupkus231

        Actually, re-issueing SSns might be a good idea. All those gubmunt-hating asshole RWNJs would refuse to get one, leaving the rest for us!

        Social Security solvency achieved!!!!

        • Latverian Diplomat

          Especially if in the new system, every SSN starts with 666.

    • kareemachan

      Hey, the Russians have them already, thanks to the rethugs….

  • Latverian Diplomat

    “Ah ha! Voting without property, I see.”
    — Inspector Kolbach of the Yard

  • OddMan

    We all bitch and moan about Russia and the disgusting things that trump tweets and says, but the crap by Kobach and this damn commision is an in your face attempt at locking in this awful GOP government for years.

    YEARS of this.

  • sadboy

    They’ll get my voter registration card when they pry it from my cold dead hands! MOLON LABE, you jack-booted black-helicopter-flying cattle-mutilator chemtrail-spreading Feds!

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Dear person with the “Don’t vote – it only encourages them” bumper sticker on your car:

    If that were true, why would the powers that be go to such lengths to suppress the vote, hmm?

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/8bd17272eeef704a4d6fe2006169396567178653848a8d6dfcfd21d09f2ea10f.jpg

  • mailman27

    So everybody that’s every moved in their adult life (and is a registered Democrat) is now a vote fraudster? There’s a good chance I’m on the voter rolls in 3 different places. So what?

  • TheGrandWazoo2
    • Bobathonic

      Now that’s a vote!

  • OutOfOrbit

    The 2nd Amendment was designed just for times like this.

  • Shanzgood 7 Days

    Hahaha! I just remembered. I know a guy who bragged about voting twice in the 2008 election because he’d just moved from another state. His wife worked for Pompeo’s campaign.

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      I still remember the Republican lady who got busted in 2012 when she tried to vote twice in Las Vegas. Her defense was that she was just “testing” to make sure the system would catch her.

      • Shanzgood 7 Days

        Genius move, that.

  • GreenGoldSharpie

    I hear California already told him to go piss up a rope.

    • Shanzgood 7 Days

      That should end the discussion right there since that’s where all those 3M extra illegal votes for Hillary came from. Right?

      • GreenGoldSharpie

        All Messicans, of course. Probably the rapists.

        • Boscoe

          Drug dealer libelz!!!

    • Jennifer R

      CA KY and VA said no, CT said it would send a copy of the public facing voter web page.

    • kareemachan

      If Washington state doesn’t join them, I’ll be more than PO’ed.

      But we usually do the right thing. As long as it doesn’t involve Seattle cops.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        Oregon’s SoS is a Rethug, but I sent him a polite email anyway asking that he tell Kobach to pound sand.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Explicitly and with malice aforethought.

    • Mystery_Poster

      I have’t heard that term in a long time (I’d forgotten it since my high school days a looooong time ago). Made me laugh.

  • SayItWithWookies

    Looks like we’ve caught a bad case of creeping Confederacy – we should’ve wiped that nonsense out when we had the chance.

  • Latverian Diplomat

    Headlines from future. Kris Kobach leaves laptop in taxi. Credit Card industry tells Americans: “You’re all fucked, basically.”

    • Jennifer R

      Russia already stole 198 million last four digits from the GOP. Everyone is already compromised.

      • Msgr_MΩment

        I have exactly two digits to give the GOP. And if they’ll kindly bend over, I’ll give them the entire fists they came from.

  • Sedagive ’em Hell

    Mr. Kobach is from the government, and he’s here to help.

    Payback is such a bitch.

    • Bobathonic

      Government libelz!

  • Bub, Zombie of the Resistance

    Go take a flying fuck at a rolling doughnut, Kris.We’ll even make sure it’s a vanilla doughnut – I’m sure you find the thought of pastry miscegenation appalling.

  • Having the entire country’s voting records in the hands of an anti-democracy autocrat like Kobach would be a singularly bad idea, and is a very precise demonstration of why “Conservatives” have always strongly resisted a national ID and centralized/networked voting system.

    • Boscoe

      Until today.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      I would advocate for a precise defenstration of… “Conservatives”.

  • cats530

    “Republicans rule, rather than govern, when they are in power by imposing their authoritarian conservative philosophy on everyone, as their answer for everything. This works for them because their interest is in power, and in what it can do for those who think as they do. Ruling, of course, must be distinguished from governing, which is a more nuanced process that entails give-and-take and the kind of compromises that are often necessary to find a consensus and solutions that will best serve the interests of all Americans.

    Republicans’ authoritarian rule can also be characterized by its striking incivility and intolerance toward those who do not view the world as Republicans do. Their insufferable attitude is not dangerous in itself, but it is employed to accomplish what they want, which it to take care of themselves and those who work to keep them in power.”

    http://thirdworldtraveler.com/Political/Republican_Rule_Dangerous.html (circa 2008 – but the GOP hasn’t changed it’s regressive stance)

    • Jennifer R

      Well I wonder if the author still agrees with the the comments about the GOPs attitude.

      • cats530

        They’ve gotten worse!

  • QHarp, Mujer malévola

    So, just to be clear, when the census taker comes, that’s Obama sending Agenda 21 to our houses to forcibly microchip us and send us to the FEMA camps, but when Naranjalissimo wants make your address, voting history, and half your SSN publically available, that’s cool. Totally cool. I’ll just be hanging out here, in my deep-red, wingnut state with non-existent gun control laws, me and my You-people last name and history of voting democrat.

    • TakingAmes

      I LOVE Naranjalissimo as a nickname for 45.

    • Wes

      I’ve stayed in a FEMA trailer. When we all get forced into the camps it won’t be too awful. They’re pretty comfy.

      Fighting in the bread line might be a little rough though.

      • bupkus231

        Plus the formaldehyde from the wallboard is pretty yucky…

  • Richman identified 37 noncitizens on a list of temporary driver’s licenses in Kansas and found six who, he wrote in an expert report that Kobach filed in court, “had either registered to vote or attempted to register to vote.” He then divided those six people, representing 16 percent of a total of 37 people, by Kansas’s estimated noncitizen population of 114,000 and concluded that “a very substantial number and portion of noncitizens in Kansas have registered to vote or attempted to register to vote — more than 18,000.”

    Math is hard. Ratfucking is easy.

  • Good_Gawd_Yall

    For ONCE I’m happy to live in KY, where Secretary of State Allison Grimes (yes, THAT Allison Grimes) told Kobach to fuck off and take Dolt 45 with him. Of course, our batshit-nuts teabagger (and literal carpetbagger) governator may order her to comply, and that should be an interesting court battle.

  • Sedagive ’em Hell

    Whoever the next Democratic president is, they’d better be ready to fight like Wonder Woman in No Man’s Land from day one because our elections are fucked, the enemy is entrenched, and they will use any weapon at their disposal to stay that way.

  • Sounds GREAT!
    Tell me, how do I become a old white republican?

    Does it involve giving up rational thought, embracing hatred/fear of opposite skin people, belief that women bleed too much to be taken seriously, swear by mayonnaise and single slice cheese food sandwiches washed down with Pabst the beer refreshing, extolling the virtues of slave owners, ya know the slaves got free room and board after all, cause if that’s what it takes, fuck you, I’m out.

    • Boscoe

      Massive head trauma is easier. ;)

    • Yellerduck

      You forgot Hawaiian shirts, black socks with sandals and a fanny pack.

    • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

      You have to convert to Republican Christianity which focusses on Jesus’ little known “go fuck yourself” parables.

      • Or the often overlooked Jesus rule: an eye for limb and leg and a second round draft pick.

  • calliecallie

    You know who else liked lists of names?

    • That bossy girl in second grade who ‘took names’ whenever the teacher left the room?

    • shastakoala

      Santa?

    • President in Exile Firefly

      Noah Webster?

  • Offer a 10% off coupon for Golden Corral’s Early Bird Special for voting and the olds whites will OWN any election. They got them good yeast rolls, too.

    • GreenGoldSharpie

      If they still have the ham slicer I’ll show up too.

  • Villago Delenda Est

    So far, four states have told Kobach to fuck off. California told him to fuck off and die.

    • TakingAmes

      So did Kentucky. But the Sec. of State there is a Democrat. The Republican governor (who is a certified A Idiot) will, I’m sure, find some way to overrule her.

  • calliecallie

    Next up: 2018 Tax forms being revised to include question regarding the county in which you are registered to vote, if any, and your party affiliation, if any. More than one way to skin a voter.

  • natoslug

    The modern GOP reminds me of one of my cousins. As a child, after being
    caught putting chicks under the watering dish so that they’d suffocate,
    she responded to the question “Why are you doing that?” with “I like to
    watch small things die.” It is much more direct than Mitch McConnell
    or Paul Ryan, but the same message: “We are the GOP: We like to watch
    small things die.” Hope. Children. The elderly. The poor. The
    middle class. Education. Anyone not straight, white, and well-off.
    They like to watch things die.

  • Ryan Denniston

    “He then divided those six people, representing 16 percent of a total of 37 people, by Kansas’s estimated noncitizen population of 114,000 and concluded that “a very substantial number and portion of noncitizens in Kansas have registered to vote or attempted to register to vote — more than 18,000.””

    I sure hope the court requested confidence intervals on that baby.

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      TLM represents 50% of the comment trolling on this site. By extrapolation, I figure that at least half of all right wing trolls are closeted gays.

      • Boscoe

        Or 100% of all those espousing anti-gay ideas.

  • Ryan Denniston

    “Kellyanne Conway said shortly after Trump tweeted the fake news that Kobach had indeed been the source of that alternative fact. So it only makes sense that Kobach should lead the commission that’ll find out that he was absolutely right.”

    Maybe we should give this to Mueller too.

    • Boscoe

      We should give ALL THE THINGS to Mueller.

  • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

    Name DOB and las 4 digits of your SS. Sounds like a starter kit to commit identity theft. What could possibly go wrong?

    • Jennaratrix

      Right, because the government is never hacked.

      Oh, except for when the OPM was hacked and everyone who has ever been investigated for a security clearance had their data stolen; very, very specific data that’s found on the SF-86, which includes every place you’ve lived for the past 7 years (if not more depending on clearance level), the names, addresses, telephone numbers, birth dates, and places of birth of your entire immediate family, the names, addresses and telephone numbers of all of your friends and many of your co-workers, and your name, maiden name (if any), social security number and every single piece of personally identifiable information you’ve ever had, all in one neat package. That breach has cost the government MILLIONS because it had to offer identity theft screening and protection to everyone in the system.

      But don’t worry. Your voter registration information is safe.

      • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

        That’s the advanced ID theft kit- it will cost you slightly more on the dark web. If a Macedonian teenager wants my ID he can pay a little more to get it from Dmitri.

        • Jennaratrix

          I’m willing to be three phone calls is all it would take.

      • To be fair, no one hacked hillary’s server.

        • Jennaratrix

          That’s great, but Hillary isn’t president. I think I’m missing your point.

    • AnnieGetYerFun

      Are the last four of my social readily available? Because that’s pretty much all the information, along with name and phone number, that I have to give my bank to get all my checking account info over the phone.

  • nightmoth

    You just had to call my attention to the hybrid cross-flag pen, didn’t you? That got on my last nerve! ROWRRR! Hulk smash!

  • Monadnock77

    Let Kobach pursue his investigation—but let’s also open up those voting machines in Wisconsin, etc, and see if they were part of the Russian hack.

  • greyXstar

    Kobach has that look that says “You’re goddamn right I drugged your drink!”

  • Rachel Book Harlot

    This feels overwhelming. How are we supposed to be able to prevent this?

    • Teto85

      Hope that you have a Secretary of State like mine, Mr Padilla.
      Wonkers and Woknettes, write, call and e-mail your SOS and ask them to tell Mr. Kobach to take his request and stick it where the sun don’t shine.

  • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

    I kept this from Nov 8th as a reminder and badge of honor that I did not Yo Voté for the fucktard… https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/e508b69bacadd7910f0d110a04e51492c7ad62bb299783010a8280098cb9fcc9.jpg

  • Me not sure

    No state should submit to this clear attempt to subvert their obligation to protect the data that their citizens have entrusted to them in good faith. Just say no.

  • JParkerSD46

    Kobach’s twitter handle is @KrisKobach1787. I think that refers to the year to which he’d like to see us return so we can be sure only land-owning white males can vote. Can’t have the deads, the blahs, the browns, pesky women-folk, crazy young-uns and other fraudsters screwing up elections.

  • mancityRed6

    at least I don’t have to worry about my state just rolling over and giving him my info.
    he already has it

  • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

    That voter data will be used to offer discounts for Trump golf memberships, Ivanka merchandise and special “Presidential Daily Briefings” on other offerings.

    • Résistance Land Shark Ω

      Free #MAGA hats for every brown you find fraudulently voting!

  • Panika MCD

    why can’t they just run a review of how various states process voter registration applications and keep voter data secure? it’s not our fault that Kobach has no one on staff combing the death notices and making sure that the VUIDs related to dead people (and not any of their name sakes) are removed from the rolls.

    • Jennaratrix

      But who is going around finding dead people to pose as so they can go vote multiple times using several different names? Fuck, I barely want to go to the polls ONCE. And nearly every instance of “voter fraud” Kobach turned up in Kansas? Was committed by OLD WHITE REPUBLICANS. So yeah, let’s crack down on that.

      • Panika MCD

        I love going to the polls…

        • Jennaratrix

          I love exercising my right to vote. I don’t like waiting in line with all the RWNJs who live around me, and this last election was worse than usual.

          • Panika MCD

            I always early vote…

          • Jennaratrix

            Yeah, Missouri doesn’t really let you do that without jumping through some serious hoops. Because early voters typically vote Democrat, and Republicans need all the help cheating they can get to stay in office.

          • Panika MCD

            wow. in my county, we can vote anywhere on election day! (offer not available in all TX counties.)

  • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

    Everyone should know by now that “voter fraud” is just a dog whistle for “keep blacks from voting”. There has never, not once, been any compelling data to assert so-called voter fraud has any real impact one way or the other in any election. The numbers are too small to even bother sourcing.

    Thanks right-wing media.

    • Jennaratrix

      Brown people first, anyone who is a registered Democrat second (where those don’t overlap). Don’t think for one second that’s not what this is about.

      • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

        Of course it is. It’s about 1. Appealing to their racist fear base 2. Furthering along a system that disenfranchises dissenting opinions 3. Getting rich.

        • Jennaratrix

          Where the third goal is actually the most important. I hate people today.

          • javadavis

            Yeah, but it takes money constitutional violations and careful feeding of racism to make money.

      • bupkus231

        They just named Han Von Spakovsky to take care of disenfranchise the black popilation ( those who haven’t already by disenfranchised by felony convictions – that’s Sessions’ “War on Drugs” bailiwick ).

        • Jennaratrix

          I’m not downplaying the disenfranchise African-Americans angle at all; I absolutely believe that’s first on the agenda. I’m just pointing out that when that works, they’ll widen the net.

          • bupkus231

            Well, Kobach was also responsible for that Arizona “Papers, please” law – so I figured your reference to brown people was meant for Hispanics.

          • Jennaratrix

            I should have just said “not-white.” Sorry for the confusion.

    • javadavis

      Election fraud, on the other hand, is getting rooted more firmly into the system every year.
      Anyone have any morning glories in their gardens this year? For some reason I am suddenly thinking about morning glories. So nice with their trumpet shaped flowers and their fragile roots that simple break off when pulled, to grow another year…

      • Sally Mushrush

        I have morning glories growing up the elderberry. Gulf coast climate.

        • javadavis

          There’s a reminder. Morning glories are apparently a prized flower some places. They are a nuisance where I came from (Pacific NW, always trying to take over the garden. I guess you could tailor this one – like zebra mussels for those plying the great lakes or like kudzu for those in the south east (is kudzu still a *very bad* thing there?)
          Around here the can’t-get-rid-of-them culprits include puncture weed (aka goat head for those sharp little seeds that land like caltrops and can ruin a bicycle tire) or Russian-olive, whose spikes have been known to puncture car tires. They are one of the introduced species that an actually grow in local soil and climat, though.

          • Sally Mushrush

            They can be a nuisance here also. All kinds of viny plants do well here. Do you have trumpet vine there too?

          • javadavis

            We’re in the high plains desert, so spiny grows a lot better than viny. I haven’t seen morning glory or similar since we left the pacific NW, alas. I miss having unconquerable vines in my garden. In our particular yard there is so much alkaline in our soil that the water will kill a plant. I don’t have the motivation and patience, I’m afraid, to figure out how the heck to grow anything and even have a garden.
            Farmers (even those with just their own kitchen garden) around here use the irrigation water which doesn’t seem to have the problems. I think it is from away from all the salt and soda and is treated with fertilizer and such.

    • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

      Well, everyone knows that the Jews caused all the Germans’ problems in the 1920s, not at all losing a war of brutal aggression in which they were the aggressors. It was the Jews! So just give us your papers and your religious background and we can Make Germany Great Again!

      • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

        Godwin retracted his law specifically for these kinds of things.

  • Mavenmaven

    People who are related to dead people are voting!!! FRAUD!!!

  • boredcatlady

    I hate this guy, fuckin A. I bet I’m currently registered to vote in AT LEAST 3 states, not my fault big government isn’t big enough to figure shot out when I move. Fuck you Kobach, Kansas was far from perfect but the ratfucking bullshit this barbed catheter stirred up is criminal.😡

    • whitroth

      “Barbed catheter” – like that. It’s what they’re trying to do to us.

      • boredcatlady

        My attempt to find an alternative to douche, which was starting to feel overused ever since Uday and Qusay came into the news when dad got elected.

  • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

    So if you do math like Kobach’s “expert,” if you have one friend who likes to watch Russian hookers pee on each other, and another who doesn’t, you can extrapolate that out to 50% of all people in the entire world are partaking in Russian hooker pee parties.

    ITS JUST SCIENCE

  • what, me worry?

    Since your vote at the polls isn’t linked anywhere to you, personally (the fact that you voted? Sure, but not who you voted for), how exactly do they propose to get your voting history?

    • kajeb

      The same way they gerrymander for political gain — by address and zip code.

    • bupkus231

      by “voting history”, they mean how often you’ve voted, not who you voted for. And that comes from the voting registration rolls.

      • what, me worry?

        Ah. That makes more sense…

        But I was hoping for more of a conspiracy theory.

  • The Librarian

    Thanks to Mr. Padilla and all SOS’ who refuse to submit anything to this knuckle dragger. I would love to send this list to Mr. Kobach:

    I. P. Freely
    F. U. Totes
    Hellen Bound

    • AnnieGetYerFun

      You forgot Ben Dover and Mike Hunt!

      • The Librarian

        Yes, and Mike Drop as well.

      • Mike Steele

        God, we miss the Car Guys! Still listen to reruns just to hear closing credits:)

    • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

      Heywood Jablomi
      Drew Peacock
      Jenna Tulls
      E. Norma Stits
      Hugh G. Rection
      Justin Casey Feltersnatch

      • The Librarian

        Lmao, these are quite poetic names. Well played.

        • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

          I am twelve years old

    • Querolous

      Did you ever meet that Japanese-Russian pole dancer? Ivana Takemi-Klozov?

      • The Librarian

        No, but I bet Trump has.

  • Amy!

    Snarktastic state secretaries of state could actually have some fun with this. He wants full names (so first, middle-if-any, last), last-four of ssn, birthdates, and addresses (plus some extra information that the SoS could just shine on without notice).

    So: here’s a list of first names. We’ve alphabetized them for you! Wasn’t that helpful? Also, a list of middle names. It’s shorter, but we’ve alphabetized again. And the list of last names. We haven’t, obviously, removed any duplicates from any of these lists, because each line represents an individual.

    Next, the list of last-four of ssn; we’ve helpfully organized this as if it were a four-digit number. Birth dates are here, too, but to provide the most detail, we supply separate lists for day of birth, for month of birth, and for year of birth. Again, we’ve made the extra effort, and sorted all of these into order for you, one per line.

    Finally, here is the list of addresses. Again, in an effort to provide this in the most detailed form, we supply street numbers on one list (numerically sorted), street names on a second list (alphabetically), street identifiers (road, lane, street, avenue) separately, a list of city/town, and finally, of course, a list of the state of residence for every voter registered in our state. Oddly, that one needed very little work to alphabetize. We apologize for the delays caused by our attention to detail; we used an advanced technology called “bubble sort” for all of these lists. It seemed to take a very long time for the state list, which concerned us, so we ran it three more times to make sure that the results were consistent.

    • AnnieGetYerFun

      I think we should all agree to send our info in. One at a time.

      • whitroth

        You’re not thinking far enough ahead. Back in the sixties, I heard of one guy who was trying to comply with the draft regulation that said you had to notify them of any change in status. So he did. When he ate, when he went to the john, multiples per day. And he sent them some of dead fish, and on cinderblocks, and they HAD TO KEEP IT ALL…..

      • AuntyMaude

        I think we should all legally change our names to passwords that no one else can easily guess. And yes special characters are allowed: #fu, @fu, >fu

    • whitroth

      And here’s today’s sportsball scores: 21,34,17,9,5, 18,40, and the teams were….

      • A partial score: New York 3…….

  • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

    Sure, let’s let the administration that’s maybe balls deep in Russia scandals (or is that the other way around?) gather up all kinds of sensitive data on every single American, for “reasons!”

    • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

      ^^^^^THIS^^^^^ A THOUSAND TIMES THIS^^^^

  • kindness

    I’m proud to be a Californian. Our SoS told Kobach to go pound sand. I’ll take little victories right now.

    • javadavis

      ALWAYS take little victories, always. The little victories added up to taking over the country, for the republicans and they can bring the government back to the citizenry if we take each ot the little victories and look for another.

    • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

      He wrote a SPECTACULAR letter, referring to the fact that this is the same guy who tried to dismiss three million Californian votes and no thanks, dude, not going to happen. I love him.

  • kajeb

    Aren’t these the same people who scream bloody murder about the idea of gun registration?

    • Pre-Truth Ron

      Do guns ever vote Democrat?

      • ahughes798

        More and more, every day.

  • Jennaratrix

    Edited because I don’t know if the governor has anything to do with this, and I said I was going write to Gov Eric “Asshole” Greitens with Resistbot. I don’t think I can pester the MO Secretary of State.

  • Hanaka

    And this singed taint hair of a human could be my next governor (in ks). Fuuuuuck.

  • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

    Let me guess: the definition Kobach has for “the best data” is “Republican data” and everyone else’s will somehow get lost, spindled, folded and mutilated.

    “I’m sorry, your name isn’t on the list. I’m terribly afraid I’ll have to call the authorities, for attempted fraudulent voting, you see. Oh! What’s this? You’re a fan of Andrew Jackson! Me too! (Thank you for your political contribution!) Here you go. Yes, it’s already filled in, but it will work just fine. Oh no, blank ones are for fans of Benjamin Franklin. Sorry. “

  • bupkus231

    I’m pretty sure it’s been reported, but Rump has also just appointed another vote-suppressing dickhead to this commission – Hans Von Spakovsky, of GWB WH infamy.

    I have to admit I was surprised this fucker wasn’t in jail, but apparently his slime was strong enough for him to escape prosecution.

    So, Kobach, Pence , and Spakovsky ( as well as several non-entity rubber stamps ) make up this commission. Has the word “Integrity” lost all meaning?

    • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

      He’s a terrible man. Couldn’t get confirmed to the FEC under GWB bc of his vile partisanship, so worked for the Heritage Foundation. He’s a real bad guy, and I’d also point to his Russian heritage (father was Russian emigre). This is Goebbels-level bullshit. With similar use of Newspeak.

    • masked mumbler

      WAR IS PEACE
      FREEDOM IS SLAVERY
      IGNORANCE IS STRENGTH
      CORRUPTION IS INTEGRITY

  • Lyly Sirivong

    Wait wait wait, what do you mean “voting history” ? You mean States know who you vote for ? And keep records of it ?

    • Angry Red Bird DGAF

      No. Just that you show up to vote. They probably want to find ways to discourage active minority voters.

    • Fitzgerald Chesterfield

      They know and record that you showed up. (In Virginia, we have open primaries, so part of the record is which ballot you asked for, in the primary.)
      Put it together with results, census data, and some high-end polling, and who you voted for can be guessed with pretty good confidence.

  • AnnieGetYerFun

    I actually found it surprisingly annoying to get a birth certificate for my kids. It wasn’t impossible, it was just more hassle than I can see a lot of new moms going through. I just assumed that they handed them out at the hospital when the babby was borned, but I had to send away for it. Also, for some weird reason, WA state uses a font on their certificates of live birth that looks like it’s meant for a Chinese menu.

    • Mystery_Poster

      My first one was easy, the hospital took care of it all (except the paternity affadavit for my now-but-not-then husband).

      Second one was born at home, had to physically report to the bureau of vital statistics and prove that babby really did exist.

  • Angry Red Bird DGAF

    Wow. Never saw that coming. /s

  • Fitzgerald Chesterfield

    Please include first name, last name, dates of birth, addresses, tindr/grindr profile, annual income

    • whitroth

      And your credit card information

    • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

      Silly you. You forgot “Jewishness” and “education,” which of course is simply code for “Jewishness.”

  • Jeff Mc Donald

    I’m sure they realize, being honest and upright believers in law and order, that it is illegal to ask someone to provide all or part of their social number (or other information regarding their social security account) for any reason not related directly to social security. Lot’s of people and organizations do, they are all (technically) breaking the law. Why that would matter in Trump America, I’m not sure.

  • handyhippie65

    well, i know my state will roll over and give up all my data to the dick head of the day, since before he was ratfucking all of you, pence was just ratfucking my state.

  • Mystery_Poster
    • whitroth

      Hey, think about it: you’re a Reptilian state official… and this Kansas shithead is accusing *you* of allowing Ill Eagles and Deaders to vote.

      It’s my-dick-is-bigger-than-your time….

  • Bebecca

    So surely the ACLU will be getting involved in this. Maybe this will be another big weekend for them. I, along with many other people, gave them much money a weekend or two after the inauguration. I was feeling very helpless and it was the only constructive thing I could think of to do (and subscribed the WAPO that weekend). I feel a donation coming their way. Anybody else?

    • sgt. jmk of the résistance

      Since the ACLU has a record of consistently beating Kobach’s ass like a drum in court, it’s a safe bet that they’ll get involved.

  • whitroth

    Let’s start with… this turkey, Richman, is an “expert witness”? I have a good friend who has *been* an expert witness in court. With degrees, and certifications. AFAIK, you can’t be an expert witness without all that. So, what makes him one?

    For another… I look forward to Kobach’s database being hacked. I’d think I could then file, either civil, or maybe even criminal negligence… because I can’t see this scum actually paying any attention whatever to computer security, patches, etc.

  • whitroth

    Oh, and if this is open… I realized the other day who Kellyanne Conway *really* is: make her hair dark, and give her a dark trenchcoat and slouch hat!

    Queek, Natasha! Is Moose and Sqvirrel!

    • doktorzoom

      Why on earth would we post our Open Thread, which is the last of the day, before 11 AM? Drink, yes, but Open Thread, no.

      • But…it’s always “before 11am” somewhere.

        Ha. I bet I bet you didn’t expect to have your mind blown by my my awe-inspiring logical skillz, huh?

  • NastyBossetti

    Apparently, Kobach has told himself he will not be sharing the last 4 SSN with… himself?
    Did anyone else see this, or am I having a Trump’s America-related stroke?

  • Nodrama4mama

    Do they not realize that this would possible disqualify ALOT of military voters, who move frequently and could have registrations in many states?

  • Lefty Wright

    OT, but I noticed the letter from Kobach was to the North Carolina SoS,Elaine Marshall. An asshole in the state legislature is trying to drum up support to impeach her. He seems convinced she has granted some notary licenses to undocumented immigrants. There is no requirement that a notary be a citizen, just that they be a legal resident. The legislator , Chris Millis, has identified no one illegally granted a notary license, has consulted no attorneys on the legal merits, but is friends with the person Marshall, a Democrat, beat last election, beginning her 21st year as SoS in NC. And while a couple of Republicans in the house pulled a McCain and said they were concerned about the partisan appearance of the issue being brought up, they stayed true to the McCain ethic of still voting in favor of the partisan tripe. I hope she joins some other state leaders in telling Kobach and Pence what to do with their commission.

    • pat tolle

      @Lefty Wright- Where Kobach goes ALEC is not far behind.

  • in the name of the moon

    I’ve wondered for decades what his middle initial is. I’ve always assumed it also begins with “k”.

  • A Bashful Nobody

    God, this idiot makes me want to puke. Dude is running for the Kansas governorship. Should be interesting.

    • Pre-Truth Ron

      He’s working on making sure he wins with 100% of the vote.

  • OddMan

    I’m sure it has been commented on, but . . .
    Kris Kobach’s own state just defied his bogus “election integrity” commission http://bit.ly/2usAPd2

    https://twitter.com/SenSchumer/status/880915832876015616

  • sweet freedom

    Here’s Minnesota’s response, Kris….let us know if we can help you with anything else. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/31d9d9e3ec64cd7533babdbc30cee70e43a07c63e05c3416a2d95a007f186d65.gif

    • Bee-Doo

      She’s my new hero.

      • sweet freedom

        Yeah, she’s adorable.

  • Celtic_Gnome

    I didn’t agree with Ken Blackwell in just about anything, but there was one time when that did happen.

    During a radio interview in 2004, the reporter asked Blackwell what would happen if a change in the status of the war in Iraq, or another terrorist attack on US soil, forced George W. Bush to cancel the federal elections.

    Blackwell said, “Let me stop you right there. There are no federal elections. There are 50 state elections, and the chief elections officer in each state makes all the decisions concerning those elections according to the laws of their state.”

    Actually, there’s more than 50 with DC and the territories, but he was trying to get that important point across on radio. Every state passes their own sets of laws determining how elections are conducted there, from the elegibility requirements for candidates down to the final tabulation of votes cast.

    The President and his administration have no role in that aspect of election law.

  • BillEGoatSmirk

    FWIW, here’s what I posted in the comment section of our (admittedly left-leaning) local “MSM” newspaper about 8 hours ago:

    “It’s up to 21 states and counting, including some that you
    wouldn’t expect:

    “The president created his election commission based on
    the false notion that ‘voter fraud’ is a widespread issue — it is not,”
    Lundergan Grimes said. “I do not intend to release Kentuckians’ sensitive
    personal data to the federal government.”

    “Mississippi Secretary of State Delbert Hosemann, a
    Republican, similarly said he won’t turn over any information to the panel,
    telling members of the voter fraud commission to, “go jump in the Gulf of
    Mexico.”

    But also, there was Rhode Island, who really spoke the
    truth:

    “Rhode Island Secretary of State Nellie Gorbea (D) took
    her criticism further, saying Kobach was unfit to lead the commission, given
    his record of strict voting laws and a recent court fine for failing to produce
    documents related to a lawsuit over voting laws. It is deeply troubling that he
    has been given oversight of this commission by the president,” Gorbea
    said.”

    Our Secretaries of State are helping to save our democracy
    and protect our personal information from the criminals in the Trump ‘administration’.
    Good work!

    http://thehill.com/homenews/state-watch/340289-19-states-refusing-to-provide-voter-data-to-trump-panel

  • Iron_Celt

    “Mississippi Secretary of State Delbert Hosemann, a
    Republican, similarly said he won’t turn over any information to the panel,
    telling members of the voter fraud commission to, “go jump in the Gulf of
    Mexico.”
    When A MISSISSIPPI REPUBLICAN tells you that your ass has gone too far Alt Right, you gotta know your shit’s fucked up.

  • mary5920

    In Oregon we have one lone Republican, Dennis Richardson, as our SOS. He’s a sleaze who has sent spam email out to voters when he was a state rep; but at least he’s replied to this request saying he won’t comply with the illegal parts of the request, and etc.
    http://www.oregonlive.com/politics/index.ssf/2017/06/dennis_richardson_denies_trump.html

  • Scott Phillips

    Anybody who didn’t vote for President Vagineck will be re-educated after they are rounded up, and those who resist will be sent to the border to labor in the sun building the wall. Or maybe picking strawberries, whatever the state needs most.

  • akita96th

    I couldn’t understand the GOP relentless bullshit with voter fraud(but now I do)….Seems Trump and a majority of republican assholes got voted in office last election….They won…So where is the voter fraud…If you win the election and then claim voter fraud!! Hmmm….Makes me smell criminal backroom skullduggery…The winners now get to write the rules and laws and set the agendas…Republicans do get elected(Must be voter fraud for sure) but they know that their factless based governing ideas on theological and corporate funded policies are always fuked up and screw a lot of working Americans(actually all working americans are screwed under republican bull shit) and they know they will be voted out the next election because republican ideas are nothing but fantasy coupled with corporate money and they know voters will turn on them if they get into the voters wallets…So hmmm yeah ..why not rig the voting process to make it hard for people to vote and guarantee that they get to stay in power when they screw the voters and not have to worry about them little things…YEAH thats the ticket…Thats their plan get in and change all the locks on the doors…Now they can really buckle down and fuk over their constituents with ease of worry..

    No use arguing facts with Trump supporters because the first rhetorical comeback they bring up is Hillary’s emails and her corporate loving ways……Really…?….Hey stupid Hillary aint president so her emails dont mean shit and Trump loves them same bankers….But in case you didn’t know the big stupid over weight Orange skinned buffoon is actually president now, and this is the argument stupid not them fuking bengahzi emails and corporate bankers…

    Geeze..you can’t argue with stupid republican voters because they beat you with experience…you dont have a chance…They have the GOP playbook memorized” The Rhetorical Redundant Guide for the Severely Terminally Stupid” They have all the rhetorical goodies highlighted in bright yellow…Just made for them when they need theology enhanced non facts to thwart your arguments of actual facts…And some nice made up brand new bible quotes…to add legitimacy to the company lies….You add Jesus to the argument you can hang it up you have been owned.

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