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More dispatches from the New Cruelty: The Trump administration is considering maybe moving a couple of key State Department bureaus — the bureau of Consular Affairs and its bureau of Population, Refugees, and Migration — to the Department of Homeland Security, because that’s just how paranoid and crazy our country is these days. It’s only an initial proposal, according to the unnamed “White House official” who spoke to CNN about it, and nothing may come of it because such restructuring would almost certainly be very controversial within what’s left of the State Department, and DHS might have no idea what to do with the bureaus.

Trying to move Consular Affairs away from State seems especially crazy, since it’s one of the State Department’s largest bureaus. While it does deal with some functions where security matters, like issuing visas to foreigns coming to the USA for visits or for work, it also does a lot of stuff that is more purely on the diplomatic side, like issuing passports to U.S. citizens, helping Americans abroad (guys too), and issuing travel alerts to overseas travelers. It’s not really an immigration agency, guys.

The ideas were part of a memo from the White House Domestic Policy Council and were submitted to the Office of Management and Budget, in response to Donald Trump’s executive order calling for ideas to reorganize government to make it work more gooder. CNN’s White House source said not to get your panties in a bunch over it (we’re paraphrasing), since the idea is just

“one among many in a document resulting from a brainstorming session focused on improving efficiencies across government. None has been reviewed in great depth, let alone formally approved.”

The official added that the memo “was a first step in exploring all options to make the government work better. No doubt many of the ideas will end up on the cutting-room floor, while others will ultimately may be adopted.”

Translation: This is a leak that might come from the White House to test possible reactions to a real proposal, or perhaps it’s from a disgruntled insider who thinks it’s a terrible idea and they want it crushed. Either way, it’s a trial balloon they’re running up the flagpole to test the water, but it’s all just spitballing so far.

CNN notes, a bit primly we think, “The White House did not explain the reasoning behind the recommendations, but perhaps the idea is rooted in a desire to streamline the refugee vetting process.”

Sounds like it — part of the whole Extreme Vetting thing, even though refugees already get a buttload of screening, and can be rejected at any step in the process, which DHS is already deeply involved with:

As it stands currently, the United Nations High Commission of Refugees [sic — it’s “for”] refers applicants to the State Department for vetting. This vetting is carried out by nine International Resettlement Support Centers (RSC) with American interests; all of which are managed by the Bureau of Population, Refugees and Migration. Approved applicants are then sent to the Department of Homeland Security for final vetting. After final vetting at DHS, the State Department then resumes supervision of the process with its Reception and Placement Program.

Anne Richard, former Assistant Secretary of State for Population, Refugees, and Migration in the Obama administration, said the proposed changes “would be a huge mistake,” and said she thought the suggestion stemmed from “an “imperfect understanding” of what the refugee bureau actually does. It’s never been a law enforcement agency, and while it does manage refugee resettlement in the U.S., it also does much more than that, coordinating assistance for refugees around the world with NGOs and with the UN. But hey, Donald Trump was elected on a pledge to be terrified by refugees and foreigners, plus Getting Tough on terrorists, even though the people who’ve carried out terrorist attacks in the U.S. since 9/11 were radicalized after being here legally for years.

“We could be a lot smarter than this and the administration could be focused on facts and evidence,” Richard said. “But instead the administration is making decisions based on people’s fears.”

Assuming that the Trump administration decides to keep the State Department open at all, we think maybe Consular Services and the refugee bureau really do belong there, seeing as how those really do involve international relations and diplomacy, no matter how much Donald Trump thinks cruise missiles can accomplish all we need in those areas. DHS already has plenty of input in refugee screening, and we aren’t sure we’d want to have all foreign visitors or refugees subjected to the tender mercies of the DHS, which already has its hands full with deporting everyone — as compassionately as they can manage — not to mention running its immigration fink line and deporting DREAMers for leaving their papers in their car. They have enough fascist duties already with all the deportations, so it could be useful to have at least one small part of the government to allow one or two people into the country. Every now and then, at least.

[CNN / Refugee Resettlement Watch / Image credit: Max Pixel / Creative Commons]

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  • State Department employees should carefully consider what to do next…
    https://giant.gfycat.com/FrequentVacantConure.gif

    • AnnieGetYerFun

      OK, that’s… that’s the last straw.

    • Latverian Diplomat

      “Is that a red stapler…comrade?”
      — Joseph McCarthy

  • memzilla Ω
  • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

    Trump is keeping diplomacy on the table and will use it only as a last resort.

    • Sounds like Mitch McConnell’s opinion on healthcare legislation.

    • Latverian Diplomat

      “We’re both out of nukes so I guess detente it is…I’ll trade you one radioactive can of beans for two radioactive cans of borscht.”

  • Latverian Diplomat

    The Bureau of Consular Affairs (CA) is in charge of issuing passports for American citizens intending to reside, conduct business, study, or travel abroad. It also provides alerts and warnings concerning potentially dangerous conditions in foreign countries, and assists U.S. citizens abroad on a variety of issues, including helping those who want to vote by absentee ballot when they’re out of the country, those who are involved in international adoptions, or those who fall victim to crime, accident or illness. In addition, the Bureau of Consular Affairs provides services to citizens of other countries seeking visas to visit or reside legally in the United States, and conducts research to determine who qualifies for a visa, and which applicants may be attempting to get into the country to engage in harmful activities. A bureau of the U.S. Department of State, the Bureau of Consular Affairs also serves as a liaison between the Department and overseas Embassies and Consulates on visa matters.

    From: http://www.allgov.com/departments/department-of-state/bureau-of-consular-affairs?agencyid=7197

    Wait, there are Americans who actually want to go overseas? Sound like subversives to me. Lock ’em up!

    • Daniel Hooper

      I’m sure there are true Americans who want to go aborad, but only to countries with non-extradition treaties or lax banking regulations so they can keep their hard earned dollars from tyriannical taxes.

    • Oblios_Cap

      Why they might bring back some ideas that might not rejoice in the virtues of unfettered capitalism and infect our society. Reeducate!

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    one among many in a document resulting from a brainstorming session focused on improving efficiencies across government. None has been reviewed in great depth

    Sounds like an accurate summary of Donald’s Reign of Terror so far…

    https://stupidcupidblog.files.wordpress.com/2014/11/twighlight-zone-nightmare.gif?w=870

  • In the early 90’s I shared a small lab with a friend. As a joke we began answering our phone with, “Ministry of Fear, der Fearmister speaking.” At the time it seemed like a weird joke, too impossible to take seriously. Now, it seems painfully possible.

  • Vincent Ricola

    OT – Sarah Fucklebee Sanders is doing a bang-up job answering for our orange sexist predisent in her press conference. Bless her heart.

    • Everrett Fanuelli

      Fuckabitch-Sanders is like a softer, female Trump

  • Pinkham’s Law

    I have doctors appointments all morning, and when I check wonkette I find it’s a day when there aren’t enough critters on the internet. HERE – pick your own! Imma go hide for a few more hours.

    • Canned Covfefe

      All morning? I hope it’s better than it sounds, Pinky.

      P.S. Sometime recently I thought we needed cute critters and wanted to call out to you for help. (OK, we obs need cute critters every day. Not that you are responsible.) Maybe we need a cute critter sign up sheet. 3 1/2 yrs. Fuck that’s a LOT of critters.

  • beingreleased
    • memzilla Ω

      “and wheeled him out of the hospital, only releasing the handles after propelling him towards the nearest 12-foot staircase.”

    • If that is really Mitch McConnell shouldn’t we be calling him Batshit Crazyman?

      • NotReallyHere

        Yes we should!

  • AKGrrl

    Make everything a law enforcement function, that way if they don’t like it, it becomes a “National Security” issue and rights are suspended. Another step in the establishment of the authoritarian state.

  • Michael Smith

    Well, since Hillary was Secretary of State not too long ago, and then it was John Kerry, Trump probably hates everyone that works there and wants to keep their responsibilities as limited as possible.

  • Latverian Diplomat

    How can I help you?”
    — A consular official today

    “What the fuck do you want?”
    — A consular official who has completed the DHS “how to deal with people” retraining program.

    • willi0000000

      assumes they even pick up the phone.

  • Oblios_Cap

    she thought the suggestion stemmed from “an “imperfect understanding” of what the refugee bureau actually does.

    Imperfect understanding is this administration’s MO.

    • jesterpunk

      I dont know about that, that would imply they understand anything.

      • Oblios_Cap

        That seemed like a polite way of a career diplomat saying that they don’t know their asses from a hole in the ground. At least, that’s how I read it.

        • jesterpunk

          Yeah, its the polite diplomatic way of saying that. I however am not a diplomat.

        • mardam422

          Ding Ding!

  • memzilla Ω

    …a document resulting from a brainstorming session…

    A Dolt 45 “brainstorm” wouldn’t produce enough moisture to dampen a flea’s left buttcheek.

    • Latverian Diplomat

      Normal Brainstorm: There are no bad ideas…

      Trump Admin Brainstorm: There are no good ideas…

      • ariel_gee_398

        Congressional Delegation on Healthcare Brainstorm: There are no ideas…

  • proudgrampa

    Oh, for fuck’s sake.

    • OrdinaryJoe

      No shit.

  • Oblios_Cap

    Sounds like Jared turned in one of his homework assignments.

    • Latverian Diplomat

      Is it possible that this is just because a post-it fell off his office wall and Jared put it back in the wrong place?

    • Dudleydidwrong

      “F”
      “Why did I get an F on the assignment?”
      “Because you’re a fucking flunky fool. Come to think of it, that’s three “Fs. You better study hard for the final.”

  • jaspersdad

    OT. Travel ban takes effect tonight. Khaled Almilaji ran a campaign that vaccinated 1.4 million Syrian children and has risked his life to provide medical care during the country’s civil war.

    “Officials in Canada welcomed him into the program. “As a recognized humanitarian with extraordinary global public health experience, he will enrich the scholarship of our academic community,” said Howard Hu, dean the University of Toronto’s school of public health, in a statement. Private donors offered to cover the couple’s living expenses, while the university waived his tuition.”

    https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2017/jun/29/syrian-doctor-hit-by-trump-travel-ban-takes-up-studies-in-canada-instead#comment-101245783

    • mardam422

      Is that Dr. Hu?

      • mailman27

        Are you with me Dr. Hu?

  • OrdinaryJoe

    Who is running the Department of Half Assed Ideas these days?

    • Certainly not Trump. After his tennis pictures, no way can you call him half assed. Giant assed or stupid assed yes, but half assed never.

      • mardam422

        The Department of Half-Assed Ideas is the whole fucking administration.

    • kareemachan

      Bannon, I’m guessing.

      • Oblios_Cap

        He’s a total ass, too.

    • Dudleydidwrong

      AOTK. It’s the only department that’s fully staffed.

  • Crystalclear12

    We all are going to die.
    He hasn’t even been in charge for six months.

  • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

    “Diplomacy? That’s egghead stuff. You wanna know how to get things done? You have one of your security goons punch the other guy square in the nose, then have him keep punching until he gives ya what ya want!” – Donnie Two Scoops

  • MynameisBlarney
  • UncleTravelingMatt

    Wow, what?

    http://talkingpointsmemo.com/livewire/barbara-lee-authorization-military-force-sunset

    Good for Rep. Lee. 16 years of war footing is enough.

    • Paul

      Wow. I looked out the window to see if there were any airborne pigs.

      Holy shit the treetops are full of them.

  • Crystalclear12

    When do they pass out the brown shirts?

    • Khavrinen

      “Pass out”? Come on, this it tRump.
      The question is “When do they go on sale?”

      For $49.95.

      Plus tax.

      Shipping not included.

      • Crystalclear12

        Loyalty oath must be signed and returned before delivery.

      • Canned Covfefe

        Handling: $145

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      This is Trump. You’ll have to buy your Ivanka-brand shirt. $200 per unit. Minimum order 5.

  • Ahhh, nothing screams “conservative” like ramming through one huge change after another with no regard for consequences.

    • lowenufc

      consequences? That there is a big word, one that means “Blame the liberals for everything” when it falls to shit.

    • Oblios_Cap

      They’re only conservative in their treatment of labor and darker skinned citizens.

      Edit: and women.

  • mardam422

    Kinda soon. But somehow I just know this is because Rex got mad at Jared.

  • elviouslyqueer

    “We could be a lot smarter than this and the administration could be focused on facts and evidence,” Richard said.

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

    • Rick Hill

      Who needs facts and evidence when you’ve had rich guys talking shit about how to fix this country in their country clubs for decades?

  • Rick Hill

    “Either way, it’s a trial balloon they’re running up the flagpole to test the water, but it’s all just spitballing so far.”

    Yeah because nothing works more efficiently than an idea that’s been run through a focus group when 99% of the people in America doesn’t even know what a particular bureau does. Talk about leading from…well, not from behind. More like leading with your head up a rich guys ass.

    • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

      “Either way, it’s a trial balloon they’re running up the flagpole to test the water, but it’s all just spitballing so far.” Those are the most mixed metaphors I’ve ever seen in one sentence in my entire life. Balloon up the flagpole to test the water? WTF is that supposed to mean?

      • BeachBum

        Made sense to me. But then again, so did the 60’s.

        • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

          Made me want to put the can in the bag and throw it against the wall to see what ships passing in the night banana.

  • Crystalclear12
    • Proud Liberal

      This is what traitors do!

      • Crystalclear12

        What dumb traitors do.

    • Claire

      Those aren’t bargaining chips, they’re tribute.

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      Have Jared or someone explain “optics” assuming he’ll listen.

    • MynameisBlarney

      How is that even remotely legal?

    • jesterpunk

      Hey congress, what more will it take for you to do your fucking jobs? Do you need flashing lights and air horns?

    • miss_grundy

      Is this his idea of “The Art of the Deal”? You give away the store? What an asshat!

  • Dudleydidwrong

    “it’s a trial balloon they’re running up the flagpole to test the water…” When they get the water balloon hoisted up the flagpole, does a middle finger salute adequately demonstrate my feelings? I can’t remember saluting etiquette too goodly.

  • OrdinaryJoe

    You have to remember that we ended up with a president whose voter base thinks the US government is their enemy and he is good with that idea.

    • BeachBum

      We elected Ronnie Boy ? Again ?

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      This has been a problem with the Republicans since Reagan.
      To be fair, as a local official I had some conflicts with the Feds that were maddening. A kerfuffle over an endangered sand fly that simply didn’t exist where they claimed it did- they refused to accept that. It took years to resolve. A project with another agency THAT BENEFITED THEM – that again took years to approve.
      Their time frames and priorities are just different, and they don’t always do well with local problems.
      Burning them to the ground is not the answer.

  • OutOfOrbit

    Does it make sense? Can it work? Will it fuck up anything?
    Thes questions don’t even come up, let alone matter.

  • Scooby

    China’s response to Trump is to quadruple the size of thier diplomatic corps and have now earmarked $1.7 trillion for foreign aid. Looks as if they are more then ready to take up the slack.

    • Everrett Fanuelli

      Well it takes a lot of effort to become a world leader

      • BrianW

        But nowhere near as much effort to throw your leadership away and just piss on the rug.

        • Oblios_Cap

          that rug tied the world together…

          • BrianW

            I wasn’t thinking about a Big Lebowski reference, but it does work, doesn’t it? You’re welcome.

        • theCryptofishist

          Do you know who else liked to piss on the rug?

          No, wait, that’s Tepperfressen, not Tepperpissen. Carry on.

          • BeachBum

            That was an accident ! Jeeze, like it was old any waze !

    • mardam422

      It was a nice run while it lasted. Thanks Ohio.

      • BeachBum

        You got that shit right !

  • Trump would feel more comfortable with government if there were only the following buttons to push on his phone when the nation needed something:

    1 for Concierge
    2 for Housekeeping
    3 for Room Service
    4 for Maintenence
    5 for Hair Salon
    6 for Security
    7 for Ivanka
    8 for Uday
    9 for Qusay

  • Lizzietish81

    How many communists are in the state department?

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      Not enough?

    • IdiokraticDrumpfenResistance

      AOT, K.

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      I have a list with 200 names… oops wrong grifting Republican demagogue.

  • Robbertjan Brandenburg

    Olympus has fallen is on here. Is it bad that this sounds like a dream scenario right now?

    • I briefly thought the same thing when I started watching Designated Survivor.

  • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

    OT (I haven’t heard this number, but whoa, if true):

    https://twitter.com/PatrickMurphyFL/status/880160786324127745

    • ariel_gee_398

      I wouldn’t be surprised – we have data on deaths increasing based on lack of insurance, generally. And if the people not getting care are more vulnerable than the population generally (ppl with opioid addition, or older and sicker than the population as a whole) then those numbers will be higher than the “average.”

    • jowgajen

      This seems plausible.

    • II Gosala

      That looks to be in line with estimates for AHCA

    • Ryan Denniston

      As Cillizza would say, :)

  • “We don’t need the State Department. It’s a waste when I have Twitter.”

  • Another idea floated was just putting up skin color charts at arrival terminals: “You must be this white to enter the United States.”

  • Lizzietish81
    • I.F.L. science but the self righteously ignorant, not so much.

    • clubseal

      Well yeah, vaccines can do damage. Just think: If someone injects you with a vaccine after dipping the needle in a vat of multiple humans’ blood, you might get sick! What about if they inject you in the eye with a giant needle, wouldn’t that hurt? How about if they hit the needle into you using a baseball bat?
      Science!

    • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

      Hi LT. I only see you here rarely. There has been a 105% reduction in obscure videos with you away. (I got my degree in Percenting and Architecting from Trump University.) A few months ago you mentioned a job thing. What happened next, if you don’t mind telling everyone on Disqus & the Internet?

      • Lizzietish81

        I lost my job back in March, which is why I’m here less (probably speaks volumes about my dedication to my job, which I’m sure has nothing to do with why I am now unemployed)

        Still looking, spending a lot of time playing WoW and other video games.

  • One way to destroy the state department; chip off its bureaus and put them under “security”

    • OrdinaryJoe

      Also a great way to control citizens: Oh, you want to go abroad? No you can’t talk to that nice diplomat lady, you need to go get a clearance from that armed agent of the Security Apparatchik first.

  • Villago Delenda Est

    The dipshits who came up with this idiotic idea shouldn’t be in the government to begin with.

    Oh, wait…that covers everyone in the Donald malassstration.

    Never mind.

    • Everrett Fanuelli

      It’s hard to run the government when you’ve only hired like 10 people.

  • MynameisBlarney
    • BeachBum

      Don’t mess with the kitty.

    • clubseal

      My cat (which is one and the same with the one in my avatar) used to play with the neighborhood foxes when I lived in Colorado. One of the only things I miss about that snow-filled dumpster of a state.

    • OrdinaryJoe

      LIKE. An attack cat.

      • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

        It looks like Richard Burton in cat form.

        • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

          Thought that EXACT thing! Can I give you a fist bump on that?

          • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

            (BUMP)

            ; )

            I loved Taming the Shrew – even tough I didn’t understand it at the age I saw it

    • NotReallyHere

      Coming Summer 2018: Norwegian Forest Cats Vs. Foxes

      I would totally watch that movie!

    • Pax Americana Per Ars Smith

      Thank you for this!

      • MynameisBlarney

        You’re welcome :D

  • mardam422

    Holy Fuck! We aren’t even six months in yet.

  • miss_grundy

    Considering that these assholes do not even know how government operates, this is just another example of stupidity and ignorance in action. Oh, hurry up already, Mr. Mueller!

  • bookish

    Has Jared been reimagining the Federal government again? Or was it Bannon?

    • jesterpunk

      Jared is doing just as good of a job as he did with solving the Middle East.

  • BreakingDeadMen

    How did the trolls take over?

    • jowgajen

      We let them. We allowed them. We withdrew from conflict and ceded the field to them.

      • BreakingDeadMen

        I was really hoping it wasn’t our fault

      • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

        No offense meant, but Who is this “we” that you speak of? He actually lost by 3 million votes. It was an antiquated electoral system, shitty media coverage, and a candidate that was good and well qualified but could have run a better campaign.

    • jesterpunk

      Purity ponies couldnt be bothered to vote because they didnt get exactly what they wanted in the last election.

    • Everrett Fanuelli

      On the right: Emails and Benghazi and on the left: Wall Street and Status Quo.

      • Joke is on everyone then: We got emailz mc Twit a million and one ghazi fully staffed by wall street and empowering only the status quo

  • mardam422

    When I was 8, I got on a roller-coaster for the first time. About halfway up the hill, I realized this was not a good idea. Once over the top I began spewing vomit like a firehose for the next four minutes. At the end, I was spent, embarrassed, and vowed never to do that again.

    I got the first feeling again on election night. I’m in the process of beginning the second phase, and it’s a long 4 years till the end of this ride.

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      I have been grinding my teeth at night. I’m going to need one of those mouth guards.

      • Little Lulu Ω

        I broke out – for the first time ever – in a full-body case of hives 12 hours before the Inauguration. Agony. Trump. Can I wish the same for Trump? Or do I have to do it with votes?

        • lowenufc

          You do you- with or without votes.
          Its okay.

        • Dudleydidwrong

          So, when Drumpf tells us that “peace has broken out” we’ll know that it’s hives. Does TrumpCare cover that or is it considered a pre-existing condition that isn’t covered?

        • Paul

          I’d vote for that so you should be good in the banhammer dept.

    • Ryan Denniston

      It’s the stupid that really wears you down. Like Trump tweeting confirmations of Russian activity as a part of bashing Obama. Every time you think you’ve seen the worst of it.

      • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

        The current thing that has me the most pissed off (aside from pending healthcare destruction) is the bit where CNN got a story wrong, retracted it and fired 3 people over it and DumbNuts uses the episode as proof of “fake news” when it is the Exact Opposite of that because, hey look, when they got it wrong they acknowleged it, pulled the story and fired 3 fucking people.

        • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

          What we are learning is that Trump sees admitting mistakes as a sign of weakness to be exploited. He’s a dirty player.

  • Joe Beese

    Imperfect understanding, you say.

    • nightmoth

      Yes, this is why I am not a diplomat. I would have said arrogant stupidity.

      • handyhippie65

        how ’bout supreme dumbfuckery?

  • Ms.MLG on Maui

    But if they were being smart and focusing on facts and evidence, they would be no better than a common Barack HUSSEIN Kenya Socialist Mooslin Terrorist Gay Crack-addict Christian-hatin’ Obama.

  • whitroth

    Yeah, well, did y’all read that Tillerson blew up at the head of WH staffing, with Kushner there, because though the former CEO of Exxon was told he’d have full control, this turkey wants to vet his appointments to staff, or tell him who to staff with…?

    My prediction: half of the Orange Doohicky’s Cabinet goes on strike in the next month….

    • beingreleased

      While Tillerson has no idea how to do the job and has no business being there, he does at least appear to be trying. I guess that’s something. I’m not sure what, but it’s something.

      • jesterpunk

        If only Rex could ask some people for some tips on how to do his job, maybe some people who used to have his job that offer to meet with new SOS’s to give them tips and offer help?

        • Everrett Fanuelli

          Would be cool if he met with HRC. Trump would have an epic temper tantrum.

          • I KNOW, RIGHT???

          • Oblios_Cap

            He might be doing that and just saying that he’s napping.

        • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

          *SOBS LOUDLY

      • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

        It sounds like he’s at least tried to work with Mathis. He’s angry that Prince Jared has been undermining their efforts.

    • BeachBum

      Rexxon is a smart guy and knows corporate politics, so he shoulda known Der Tripplepiker was gonna lie. Of course his problems are our problems so we cant laugh too hard.

  • Les Appentis De la résistance

    Sounds like Jared and Ivanaka has been architecting a new best-in-class State Dept to enable the diplomatic flexibility for the coming generations.

  • Shanzgood 8 Days

    OT: Kris Kobach and the “election integrity” commission would like all your voter information, please. So he can fix all the voter fraud like he did in Kansas.

    http://talkingpointsmemo.com/dc/kobach-demands-voter-roll-data-secretaries-of-state

    • jesterpunk
      • Shanzgood 8 Days

        Yeah, that guy. Also the same one running for governor in 2018.

        • jesterpunk

          I take it Brownstain cant run again?

          • OrdinaryJoe

            Another Rethuglican governor for Broke Kansas. How bad can that be?

          • Shanzgood 8 Days

            No, he’s term limited out now.

        • Everrett Fanuelli

          He’ll win too because Kansans are in the running for dumbest fuckers in the country.

          • Shanzgood 8 Days

            Kansas resident here. I don’t think we’ve got a complete playing field yet. Paul Davis ran against him last time and he didn’t lose by too much of a margin. I haven’t seen any likely Dem candidates yet, though. Possibly former Wichita mayor Carl Brewer but I don’t fancy his chances because he’s a blah.

          • handyhippie65

            oooo, that’s gotta hurt! here’s hoping a freak tornado carries him off to oz.

          • Oblios_Cap

            “Please drive our state into the ground, Mr. Brownback.”

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      Purely for benign reasons and not at all an attempt to develop an enemies’ list, no sir…

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      He is especially interested in those whose names end in “ez”

    • Oblios_Cap

      I’ll bet he gets a lot of GTFOs from the states.

      • Shanzgood 8 Days

        I’m definitely interested in seeing what kind of responses he gets.

      • alpacapunchbowl

        I should certainly hope so. Jaysis.

      • mailman27

        He got a heartfelt one from VA.

    • WotsAllThisThen

      The Kremlin got tired of stealing each states’ voter rolls individually.

    • Fartknocker

      Would he also like all the passwords to the Diebold voting machines? Korbach is a first order racist and prick. Perfect for Team POSUTUS 45.

      • Shanzgood 8 Days

        He’s also thrown his hat into the ring for the governor race. That scares me worse than this other shit.

  • Left Coast Tom

    Aren’t “brains” required for a “brainstorm”? This seems more like a “brain virga”.

  • shastakoala

    Americans abroad and guys too? Ha!

  • Lance Thrustwell

    “Either way, it’s a trial balloon they’re running up the flagpole to test the water, but it’s all just spitballing so far.”

    The Bureau of Mixed Metaphors would like to nominate this sentence for the 2017 Scrambly awards.

    • I smell what you’re stepping in.

      • Lance Thrustwell

        High five on that T-bird, colonel.

      • whitroth

        What Trumpolini, er, the dog did in the night?

      • handyhippie65

        let’s hope it doesn’t stain the carpet.

    • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

      Wow, it’s almost like Dok has a Ph.D. in rhetoric and might be doing it on purpose because it’s funny!

      • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

        I thought it was funny. It’s so much harder to do that once you know better. I’m being dead serious. It’s like pretending you can’t sing when you can actually sing very well.

        • OutOfOrbit

          No idear whut that is like.

        • Pre-Truth Ron

          I am told that it’s EASIER to pretend you can’t sing if you’re a good singer. Something about knowing how to do it right so you know what will sound wrong.

        • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

          I know, that’s a perfect example, it takes real musical skill to sing just slightly off key.

      • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

        We will nominate him for the “It was a Dark and Stormy Night” award.

        • Shanzgood 8 Days

          I remember hearing that on NPR for the first time a bajillion years ago! Great stuff!

      • handyhippie65

        i hope so. i’m tired of incoherent screaming at my ‘puter. i need a good laugh.

    • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

      Said almost this exact thing myself.

    • MynameisBlarney

      Something something something, “lead balloon in a hailstorm”.

      • Kiri the Unicorn

        I guess the shoe has dropped on the other hand, now.

        • Trip Space-Parasite

          Now I’m wondering what unicorn shoes are made of, and how much they hurt when dropped on a hand.

          • Kiri the Unicorn

            Well, I’m mostly on hard surfaces and I have cloven hooves, so I use special demishoes made from Kevlar/carbon fiber composites that absorb impacts and wear slowly. They’re not very heavy.

          • Trip Space-Parasite

            A surprisingly practical answer! I was expecting angel food cake, or maybe clouds.

          • Kiri the Unicorn

            Gosh, I’ve never been that ethereal!

          • Trip Space-Parasite

            Kiri the Existent Unicorn?

          • Kiri the Unicorn

            Sure, there’s a few of us around. I’m just more gregarious and talkative than most.

          • Trip Space-Parasite

            I meant more the opposite of ethereal, but gregarious is good!

          • handyhippie65

            the only ones i’ve ever heard of were solid gold, so, yea that would hurt a lot.

          • Kiri the Unicorn

            I wore a solid silver set for my wedding, and again for my grandmother’s funeral. They’re completely impractical. A gold set is equally as impractical, and even more expensive.

          • handyhippie65

            it was in a book, i don’t remember the name of it. jr high was a long time ago. have you seen what they want for those fuck me pumps with the red soles? golden unicorn shoes would prolly be cheaper.

          • Tiny kaiju

            Titanium or Damascus steel are the way to go. Have some your blacksmith do some mokume-gane for decorative effect.
            https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mokume-gane
            And because I’m weird and think this guy’s jewelry is amazing. I was lucky enough to take a class taught by him years ago.
            http://www.chrisploof.com/about/chris-ploof-designs/?gclid=CjwKEAjwytLKBRCX547gve7EsE4SJAD3IZV6E4Y2GzX33MZenKGS54PnjsEXu-O-BPaMxJ0rD83W3RoCYePw_wcB

        • MynameisBlarney

          Indeed.
          A bird in the hand is worth crossing the road.

          • Kiri the Unicorn

            One hand in the bush washes the other one clean when it doesn’t know what it’s doing.

          • MynameisBlarney

            Don’t count your chickens before they get to the fork in the road.

          • Kiri the Unicorn

            If you’re in a hole, just grab the bull by his bootstraps and climb back on.

    • whitroth

      No, they’re running it up the flagpole to see who pees on it.

      • handyhippie65

        if they can reach it up a flagpole, that’s some high pressure urine.

        • Skeptical_thinker

          See: Annie Sprinkle

        • whitroth

          Maybe that’s why the Cheetoh’s so yellow/orange? Then he’d deflate….

  • FauxAntocles

    Fear keeps the GOP in business.

  • Gee, it’s almost like our foreign policy was sold to the highest bidder…

    Who Checkov-ed on this idea?
    https://media.giphy.com/media/LHwkEZMYJT1Re/giphy.gif

    Russia. Russia. Russia.

    • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

      Ivan to get to the bottom of this!

      • Trump is russian to please Putin?

        • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

          Well there’s no need to be Volga

      • MynameisBlarney

        Borscht!

    • jesterpunk

      Dont worry John McCain is deeply concerned about this and Trey will investigate Hillary’s emails.

      • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

        And, also The Leakers

        • jesterpunk

          McCain wants to hire Trump’s Pee Hookers?

        • OutOfOrbit

          And the taters.

    • whitroth

      That’s Sulu-y of you.

    • handyhippie65

      why should it be any different than the rest of the government?

  • therblig

    is this a jared innovation?

  • Mavenmaven

    Just hand it all over to the NRA.

    • whitroth

      Hey, great idea. Let’s ship all members of the NRA with more than five guns and 10,000 rounds of ammunition to Iraq, so they can fight the IS.

      • jesterpunk

        Ted Nugent has started shitting his pants now.

        • Paul

          Call me when that asshole shits the bed. Fuck him right in the ear with a sharp stick.

  • Oblios_Cap

    Is the orange bunglecunt meeting w/ the south Korean President today? Has war broken out yet?

    • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

      Yes?

    • whitroth

      Like that. Nominal President Bunglecunt, would you care to comment on this?

  • I know that some people have been calling Trump, Orange Julius. But I think it may be time for to refer to him as Orange Judas.

    • OutOfOrbit

      Orange POS works 4 me.

    • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

      Just don’t call him “T”, he really wants that to become a thing.

    • jesterpunk

      Orange PeeOTUS

  • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

    Weird thing, but aren’t all things weird lately?

    Donnie tweeted twice about his nominee for FBI director. It hasn’t happened yet. That’s kind of important.

  • The Wanderer

    They just want to make sure that Tillerson gets his nap time in.

  • handyhippie65

    i’ve said it before, the GOTP want’s to eliminate anything the government does FOR us, and only keep what it does TO us.

  • Carpe Vagenda

    [OT] Maybe this makes Ms Mika think a bit about where she stands?

    https://twitter.com/NancyPelosi/status/880511976572583937

    • jesterpunk

      Of course Trump supporters have to comment on that tweet.

      • Carpe Vagenda

        Oh, not just Trump supporters. Matt Yglesias and Chris Hayes have been actuallying like madmen all day.

        • jesterpunk

          Yeah i just noticed the stupid comments from the deplorables first, they are higher up the chain.

    • Mpeg

      OK I’m gonna cry now, a little~

  • Zippy W Pinhead

    OT looks like Greta just parted ways with MSNBC

    • jesterpunk
    • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

      Couldn’t find anything about that. Didn’t she JUST get there?

      • jesterpunk
        • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

          So basically it sucked, ratings tanked and she left.

          • jesterpunk

            Yep, now if she only took Megyn Kelly with her.

          • OrdinaryJoe

            “There will be blood.” Donald Trump

          • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

            From your screen to Crom’s eyes.

          • Zippy W Pinhead

            She’s next

        • Wild Cat

          No. It started 78,987,098,567 years ago Scientology time.

          • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

            Do I have to call Miscavige on you?

          • Wild Cat

            He’s a miscavige of justice.

        • OrdinaryJoe

          And it was pretty much over 5 months ago.

    • Wild Cat

      Those fuckin’ Thetan bastards, SHEEPLE!!!!!

    • OrdinaryJoe

      The Andy Lack Right Shift thingy isn’t working out so well for MSNBC. The 25-50 demographic does not want Conservashit smoke blown up their ass.

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        Great strategy- Piss off your current viewers to pursue conservatives who will NEVER watch your network.

    • yyyaz

      Best thing I’ve heard today.

  • HazooToo

    OT: Another fucked up thing in the UK. https://twitter.com/Channel4News/status/880487382407053314

    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      Fuuuuuuucccckkkk…..

      • HazooToo

        Think they’ll call this acid attacker a terrorist? Naaahhh….

    • ZangoCrudmonger

      Goddamn.

  • II Gosala

    We interrupt this discussion of how the world is going to hell in a handbasket, to bring you this important announcement:

    ****
    WE’RE ALL GONNA DIE!!!

    These experts say we have three years to get climate change under control. And they’re the optimists.
    https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/energy-environment/wp/2017/06/29/these-experts-say-we-have-until-2020-to-get-climate-change-under-control-and-theyre-the-optimists/

    ***

    We now return you to our regularly scheduled gloom and doom, already in progress

    • Joe Beese

      2C? No way in hell.

      3C, maybe… if we’re lucky.

      Then strap in and feel the G-s.

      • II Gosala

        * whimper *

  • Joe Beese
    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      This whole song and dance is so that, when, eventually, the whole truth about his whole administration’s traitorous relationship with the Russians, including key legislators, he’ll have a whole bunch of people who just won’t believe it….

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        the brainwashed cult of Donnie

        • Pre-Truth Ron

          And they DEMAND the Flavor-aid.

      • Ducksworthy

        You have put your finger on it. The purpose of disinformat is that, since you don’t know what to believe, no action can be taken.

    • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

      i’m missing the point again – but at the end he says “The truth is we have near limitless supplies of energy in our country.”

      Is he saying wind and sun? Cause by definition, coal and oil aren’t limitless.

      WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?

      I’m so confused.

      • Bitter Scribe

        This is a Republican tradition. St. Ronnie regularly claimed that the US has more oil reserves than Saudi Arabia, which isn’t even close to being true. These guys get elected by denying reality.

  • BearLeft

    How far do we have to go down the road of becoming just like North Korea before we show our own funny-haired fat fuck the door?

    • Pre-Truth Ron

      All the way to the end?

  • JD Mulvey

    I’m sure Jared will make all the right decisions as the reinventing government czar, which he will handle in the spare time that remains after he’s made peace between the Israelis and Palestinians.

  • Bitter Scribe

    Shit. My passport is about to expire. I better get that sucker renewed before the whole fucking State Dept. crashes and burns.

  • Panika MCD

    do they really want the first people their condo investors looking to relocate to be from DHS or is this just a rendering of Jared’s dreams last night complete with use of all 152 colors in his Ultimate Crayola Crayon Collection?

    • Pre-Truth Ron

      I’m quite sure that having a $500,000 cheque made out to ‘cash’ is all the vetting they’ll require.

  • roberteye

    “Trump brain storming” – perhaps THE oxymoron of all time.

    • mailman27

      Calm weather indeed.

    • NotConvinced

      Trumps brain rains frogs.

  • Pre-Truth Ron

    Pretty soon all that will be left is Defense and Homeland Security.

  • Mahousu

    We had to get assistance from consular officials a couple of times (like when my wife’s passport was stolen), and they’ve always been very helpful. Obviously, that kind of thing needs to be shut down in Trump’s America.

  • javadavis

    “The White House did not explain the reasoning behind the recommendations, but perhaps the idea is rooted in a desire to streamline the refugee vetting process.”
    They may be over thinking. I suspect a simple case of trying to close State because it has Hillary cooties all over it now. Next closure target – e-mails!

    • Stulexington

      Straight up demonizing immigrants by implying they’re a threat to the security of the homeland.

      • javadavis

        It’s a two-fer!
        Probably really what you said, though. The other thing would require more thought than Trump puts into an-y-thin-g.

  • BeatnikBob

    They issue PASSPORTS. This smells of Bannon and Alex jones and who knows.

  • Stulexington

    I’m reminded of the time our University President decided it’d be a swell idea to merge the Computer Science department with the Engineering department. Apparently he heard of Software Engineering being the biggest thing developing in Computer Science and thought that meant they were doing Engineering.

  • Lefty Wright

    I think it has more to do with controlling who comes and goes in the US and removing it from the field of diplomacy and into a quasi law enforcement arena. And the fact that no one in the Trump administration really knows how government operates. It’s much easier to do a superficial review of agency titles and say “Oooh. Passports! Shouldn’t that be in DHS?” than to actually look at what that particular agency does. To do that, you may need to talk to a person in that section, and when you are a totally unqualified hack like Bannon, that’s the last thing you want to do. You will be proven to be the idiot you previously only seemed to be.

  • Relativicus

    “Either way, it’s a trial balloon they’re running up the flagpole to test the water, but it’s all just spitballing so far.”

    That’s just, like, beautiful, man.

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