Golly, what were we JUST SAYING about how Trump and his allies keep moving the goalposts on the question of whether/how much Trump colluded with Russia to steal the 2016 election? We were JUST SAYING that they were moving the goalposts a whole lot. Consider this video from Monday’s Sean Spicer Yelly Bad Times Press Briefing:
HAHAHA SILLY US, that is not a video! It is a tweet from New York Times reporter Glenn Thrush, because Spicer still isn’t giving on-camera briefings. Is it because he’s a morbidly obese pig man, like Steve Bannon said? Or is it just because the Trump White House is un-American and doesn’t believe in a free press?
Anyway, two things. First of all, it’s nice to see that Trump is finally admitting, even if he’s saying “probably,” that Russia did the meddling. He of course finally admitted this because Barack Obama tricked him — it was a Jedi Mind Trick, according to Joe Scarborough! — by being the main character in a major Washington Post investigation on the Obama administration’s handling of the Russian election interference. The second Trump could blame Obama for the Russian hacking, he immediately and accidentally admitted on Twitter that yeah, Russia did it. Poor Trump’s premature ejaculations are nothing if not predictable.
But what of the other part of Sean Spicer’s statement, about the “other countries” that helped steal the election for Trump? It sounds like maybe he is echoing Trump’s constant refrain of “Maybe it was Russia! Maybe it was Giiiiiina! Maybe it was a chunk-tastic New Jersey bed hacker! Nobody knows who it was!” Or maybe he’s saying some kind of veiled racist thing about how Hillary Clinton’s popular vote win only happened because of illegal Mexicans from Mexico.
Or maybe he’s admitting something, just like his boss. Because off the top of our head, we can think of several other nations that could have been real helpful to Trump and Russia in pulling off one of the century’s greatest crimes against America. Like these:
- Ecuador: For letting Julian Assange have a sexxxy suite at the embassy in London, where he could direct his WikiLeaking for his masters back in Russia.
- The Seychelles and the United Arab Emirates: Remember that weird meeting in the Seychelles, hosted by the United Arab Emirates, where unofficial Trump lackey Eric “Blackwater” Prince (weirdly coincidentally, also Betsy DeVos’s brother!) met to strategize about building a secret back channel between Donald Trump’s anus slit and Vladimir Putin?
- Turkey: Because poor Michael Flynn had to earn a paycheck somehow, by doing foreign agent work for Turkey!
- Hungary or the Czech Republic: Yeah it seems like Hungary might be where a lot of the discrete moving parts of this intersect, and of course there’s that thing about how Trump officials might have used Prague as an in between sort of place to hold meetings, about subverting American democracy, according to the Steele Dossier.
- Ukraine, or at least the pro-Russia parts of it: Hi Paul Manafort! Hi Trump lawyer Michael Cohen SAYS WHO?
And there are probably others we don’t feel like remembering right now. But it’s mostly Russia’s fault.
Anyway, it’s really nice to see Sean Spicer and Donald Trump finally halfway admitting what 17 U.S. intelligence agencies knew approximately 6,000 years ago. We can’t wait until next week, when they decide to claim they’ve admitted NOTHING.
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