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No we don’t think that’s it.

Have you been missing your daily video love session with White House Press Secretary Sean Spicer? Alternately, have you missed yelling at your TV while Sarah Huckabee Sanders lies her way through the briefing as deputy press secretary, a job she only got because her dad is an “important” person? You are shit out of luck, because the White House has been quietly murdering all the press briefings, because this White House doesn’t have any respect for how we do things here in America.

On Monday, CNN reporter Jim Acosta lost his shit when informed that Spicer would be doing a press “gaggle,” but that no audio or video was allowed. Acosta tweeted several things that happened during the briefing, like for instance that Trump is STILL being a stupid baby about whether or not he has “tapes” of James Comey, because he’s not man enough to admit that his “tapes” tweet was just impotent bluster. He also commented on what’s really going on with press access in the White House:

Soon after, Acosta went on CNN and told anchor Brooke Baldwin that this is an embarrassing and fucked up way for the White House to behave, and that moreover it doesn’t even feel like he’s covering the White House, but rather “with Kellyanne Conway and Omarosa in the briefing room off to the side of Sean, refusing to be on camera, it’s like we’re just covering bad reality television.” In short, Acosta said that if Sean Spicer is unwilling to actually do the work of being the press secretary, then he’s simply “useless.” Here’s more of what Acosta said on CNN, quoted in a piece in The Atlantic with the subtle headline “The White House Press Briefing Is Slowly Dying”:

“It just feels like we’re slowly but surely being dragged into what is a new normal in this country where the President of the United States is allowed to insulate himself from answering hard questions.” … “I don’t know why we covered that gaggle today … if they can’t give us the answers to the questions on camera or where we can record the audio. They’re basically pointless at this point.”

So this sounds bad! But do not worry, because The Atlantic reached out to Steve Bannon about WTF IS GOING ON AND WHY ARE YOU ALL HIDING FROM THE TV CAMERAS, and Bannon texted back, “Sean got fatter.” And that’s all he said. So, do you see? America’s institutions aren’t in any danger, and they’re not trying to hide anything, it’s just that Sean Spicer is too much of a beef chunk to appear on camera. What’s sad is that this is sort of possible, since Donald Trump is notoriously image conscious and actually might YOU’RE FIRED Spicer for having a big round belly that shakes when he shouts like a bowl full of jelly.

There is also the little matter of how Sean Spicer seems to be trying to fire himself. Politico reports that he’s leading the search for a new version of himself (hopefully one whose obesity doesn’t bother delicious and sexual Steve Bannon!), and that Fox News blowhard dumbass Laura Ingraham and Daily Mail editor David Martosko are in the running, because the Daily Mail is known for being so trustworthy, and David Martosko is known for lying about everything up to and including umbrellas. Sarah Huckabee Sanders apparently isn’t interested, because Sarah Huckabee Sanders has two brain cells to rub together. Spicer partly wants the shake-up because he wants a promotion to a role “senior to both the communications director and press secretary,” according to Politico. But also everything has been kind of up in the air ever since Donald Trump famously tweeted that it’s literally impossible for his press shop to deliver accurate information, because he just moves TOO FAST as president for them to keep up with him. So obviously Trump needs a press secretary whose mind is as … nimble? Yeah “nimble,” let’s go with that … as Trump’s. Or maybe Trump should just do the press briefings himself, as he has suggested, except for how he hardly ever speaks to the press.

Jim Acosta reported on Twitter that today, Tuesday, June 20, 2017, Sean Spicer WILL be delivering an on-camera press briefing. Should we liveblog it, just in case it’s the last time ever? Or should we skip it entirely because it would just be too traumatic to have to watch Chunky Spice trying to fit in the camera frame, like Steve Bannon suggests? Vote Y/N in the comments, which do not even exist.

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[The Atlantic / Politico]

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  • PubOption

    How does Melissa McCarthy look in a fat suit?

    • schmannity

      Rent Bridesmaids.

  • Old town Urbandale

    Sure, liveblog the presser. It’s the MST3K of the political world.

  • schmannity

    The President will not be questioned.

    –Steve Miller

  • Proud Liberal

    If people don’t start making Republicans pay a price for their shenanigans, they won’t stop doing them. Elections have consequences people!

    • Everrett Fanuelli

      That’s what we thought in 08, but McTurtle just obstructed and successfully I might add.

  • Everrett Fanuelli

    “Trump will have his revenge on all of his enemies.”- shorter Omarosa

  • susan_g

    Cheeto has done some seemingly impossible things but getting network correspondents to act like real reporters is especially noteworthy.

  • John Iwaniszek

    shit man. Make bannon do it. See how much he likes it when people rank on his bad looks.

    • chascates

      I can see people shouting “Unclean! Unclean” when Bannon walks in.

      • coozledad

        Or: AAAAAGH! KILL IT SOMEBODY!!

    • WotsAllThisThen

      An hour of “Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!” will play well to Trump’s base and his “allies” overseas.

  • Joe Beese

    Also built for comfort rather than speed, but a lovely person instead of a shit-weasel, we have Adele.

    https://twitter.com/LondonFire/status/877070701529886720

  • BearGHAZI

    “Trump should just do the press briefings himself, as he has suggested, except for how he hardly ever speaks to the press.” “also has cottage cheese in a sack for an ass”

  • chascates

    Just repost any other liveblog presser; they’re all the same.

    • elviouslyqueer

      10:25am: Cinnamon Mento Spice is late, as usual.

      10:27am: Spicey is here! And lying. As usual.

      10:31am: More lying.

      10:35am: Some egregious bullshit.

      10:36am: Spicey yelling at April Ryan for giving serious shady side-eye.

      10:40am: Even more lying.

      10:47am: Spicey flips out, throws podium across the room, storms out.

  • Latverian Diplomat

    “Wait…chewing gum has calories?”
    — Sean Spicer

  • President in Exile Firefly

    But that didn’t stop William Howard Taft from giving press briefings!

  • A Groucho Marxist

    Not sure what this means, but “Sean got fatter” is an anagram of “nastee goat frt”. It would be irresponsible not to speculate what Bannon’s getting at with this little puzzle.

    • memzilla Ω

      Actually, “Sean got fatter” also anagrams to “State Frontage” and “Fasten Garotte.”

      • A Groucho Marxist

        The plot, as they say, thickens, not unlike Spicer’s middle.

  • elviouslyqueer

    Even money says all of Sean’s weight gain can be attributed directly to his downing a case of bourbon every night after work.

    • BreakingDeadMen

      Southern Comfort

      • OneYieldRegular

        Old Spice.

  • Michael Smith

    They don’t need to answer questions – people on social media post the “hard questions” all the time, and Trumpists respond with a bunch of insane answers, and Trump’s answer would just be some amalgamation of those – so what’s even the point of actually speaking to the press anymore? Just go look at the Facebook comments on a Daily Caller article and you know what Trump thinks.

    • kaydenpat

      Or read Trump’s rage tweets.

  • WotsAllThisThen

    If he’s too fat and Sarah doesn’t want the job, how about someone else from the Huckabee family? Or Newt Gingrich? I would love to watch him explain to the press how special prosecutors are only used to hound Presidents for political reasons.

    • Edith Prickly

      i think it should be the lawyer who yells “Says who?” all the time.

    • cmd resistor

      Newt is too fat.

    • generalleeme

      Didn’t you mean the Huckabee dog killing clan?

  • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

    They don’t get that the press briefing keeps all of the Washington correspondents docile – if they start saying “no briefings”, why those folks might actually go do some real reporting.

    • Marion in Savannah

      Then they’ll install a ring in the press room and have boxings instead.

    • kaydenpat

      Exactly. The MSM keeps playing along with these lie fests.

    • SterWonk

      Hey, it worked for WaPo — after Trump banned them from his campaign, they went after him hard, which is why David Fahrenthold has a Pulitzer.

      (Of course, we still have Trump, so… maybe that didn’t work out so well after all…)

  • Indiepalin

    I don’t want to say they’re heavy, but Sean Spicer and Sarah Sanders went to Golden Corral last week and got themselves stuck in the sliding door.

    • therblig

      they drove their car onto a truck scale and the readout said “One vehicle at a time, please”

  • Mpeg

    If this is reality tv as Costa suggests man this show has jumped the shark~

    • kaydenpat

      Trump’s election jumped the moon — forget the shark.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        “One of these days, Alice…”

      • FlownΩver

        So, Gingrich?

  • John Resistant Tovarich Smith

    Sean Spicer; too fat. Sarah Huckabee Sanders; height-weight proportional. Riiiight!

    • BreakingDeadMen

      Imagine them doing sex together and try to find enough brain bleach.

      • Marion in Savannah

        You bastard. I’m gonna hunt you down… [runs shrieking from the room]

      • John Resistant Tovarich Smith

        “Wall to Wall Meat – a Porn Extravaganza!”

      • BigBoppa ~ Résistent
        • Lascauxcaveman

          She may be tiny, but pink halter top girl knows her physics. Plant the right knee, extend left leg, and PULL! Mission accomplished.

    • cmd resistor

      And Trump, svelte. As well as Bannon.

    • Edith Prickly

      Sarah creeps me out because she looks like her father in drag.

    • kaydenpat

      Bannon talking about fat people is very special given his own rotund appearance.

  • coozledad

    What in the fuck do expect from your administration’s go to feeder sex baby, Bannon? You picked him for that purty mouth and gave him all the mashed potatoes he could eat. You may quit him, but he’ll never quit you.

  • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

    I cannot bear to look at fat people myself, because I am a twit.

  • Latverian Diplomat

    What should we call this new reality show?

    a)Real World DC Press Pool
    b)Cuck Dynasty
    c)Thirteen Signs of Fascism and Counting
    d)The Biggest Whiner
    e)Hell’s Pressroom
    f)The Amazing Disgrace
    g)Toddlers and Nuclear Launch Codes

    • Vincent Ricola

      The Real White House Husbands of Vladimir Putin?

      • kaydenpat

        Putin’s Puppets.

    • BigBoppa ~ Résistent

      h)Here Comes Donny Boo Boo

    • kaydenpat

      Lie-Fest Extravaganza

    • John Resistant Tovarich Smith

      “Nineteen Lies and Counting!”

    • Bub, Zombie of the Resistance

      h) American Lickers
      I) Derpage Wars
      j) 19 Fails and Counting

      • BreakingDeadMen

        k)America’s Next Top Liar

        • BreakingDeadMen

          l)Big Brother, This Time for Real

    • Gayer Than Thou

      The Biggest Loser of Reputation and Professional Integrity
      America’s Got Talent … And Also These Incompetent Morons

    • FlownΩver

      So You Think You Can Govern

  • Skwerl the Taco Hunter
    • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

      Trump don’t want him, you can have him

      He’s too fat for Trump

      He’s too fat for Trump

      He’s too fat for Trump

      Trump don’t want him, you can have him

      He’s too fat for Trump

      He’s too fat

      He’s too fat

      Spicey’s too fat for Trump!

  • Vincent Ricola

    I vote liveblog. And Jim Acosta has sprinted out front of the CNN heads as my favorite, I imagine he worked his ass off for years to finally get a white house press gig and this shit is personal. Playtime is over.

  • Marsupial99

    Sarah Huckabee Sanders has two brain cells to rub together

    Assumes facts not in evidence!

    • elviouslyqueer

      Those aren’t brain cells, darling.

      • coozledad

        The dirty pillows she calls Davy and Goliath.

    • DrBigHead

      If she had another neuron, she would have a synapse.

  • WotsAllThisThen

    Trump’s base just got back from Wal Mart and doesn’t want to see another fat person up there on the podium.

  • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

    “Sean got fatter”

    Haw, haw, haw.

    As our democracy falls, Steve Bannon takes the time to make a “joke” that even Vlad Putin would find insulting.

    • BreakingDeadMen

      Bannon has Eczema on his soul

      • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

        Soul, you say?

      • jodyleek

        You spelled asshole wrong.

        • BreakingDeadMen

          Well, it’s there too.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        It’s a pox.

    • kaydenpat

      It’s that unfunny conservative humor once again.

  • kaydenpat

    So Mr. Acosta, why doesn’t the MSM skip out on these so-called press briefings?

  • Suttree

    My heart goes out to all of these newspeoples. Now get a pen and paper and write this shit down! It’s not like that is your fucking job or anything. You brought this shit upon us you motherfuckers! Hillary’s emails 24/7. Pucker up buttercups. Mostly do your fucking jobs. Asshole.

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      It’s not so much that it bothers them to write statements down- it’s just easier for Trump and his minions to deny that he said them- which he will.

      • data_ninja

        Good point.

    • Roger Wilco

      Why isn’t the media taking microwave ovens in there?

  • jodyleek
    • coozledad

      That’s enough fatty liver to strain and feed a cat hoarder’s household for a year.

      • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

        I would not poison my cats that way.

        • Gayer Than Thou

          Also, what do you do with the rest of it? It’s not like it will compost.

          • jodyleek

            You put it around your garden to keep pests away?

          • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

            Drinking formaldehyde will do that.

      • BigBoppa ~ Résistent

        Foie gross?

      • susan_g

        Not just the liver, there is enough fat there to start a soap factory (alt-nazis know how to do this).

    • Edith Prickly

      Bannon the Hutt.

    • Shibusa

      The New Yorker did a profile of Bannon. He comes off as a liar, a jerk, and a poseur.

      • Pisto75666

        And those were his good traits!

      • jodyleek

        What else could he possibly be? I don’t like judging books by their covers, but dear god, look at that cover. Blech.

        • Shibusa

          That’s all part of it. When he was Mr. Goldman Sachs, he was fit, he wore great suits, etc. When he climbed aboard the Right Wing Grift Train, he started to dress and look the part.

  • Bub, Zombie of the Resistance

    At least we know Spicy has something to wear if he’s putting on weight. I’m sure he can fill this suit out now:

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/b53f4aa66cf33c34a467a4cd113f6211ca913fc33fcbafdadd8a265f01564dfc.jpg

    • “It was on sale at JC Penney”

      • Gayer Than Thou

        “Mom said I’d grow into it.”

  • Duke

    Trump is frustrated that he can’t control the media. He loves Twitter as he can make it one-way by ignoring what other people say and say in response. He loves FOX as they ask soft-ball questions that set him up to look good.

    The fact is that he never intneded to be president. It was a self-aggrandizing scheme to get attention and raise his profile. Dimwits liked his base vitriol and now look where we are.

  • OutOfOrbit

    Are there no synonyms for fat?

    • Marion in Savannah

      “Pleasingly plump?”

    • elviouslyqueer

      Ruben-esque?

    • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

      Corpulent’s a good one, spellcheck doesn’t like that one.

      For the ladies, there’s also “zaftig”. Spellcheck hates that one as well.

    • AnnieGetYerFun

      Voluptuous?

    • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

      Falstaffian

      Porcine.

      Adipose?

    • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

      Husky

    • FlemmishSpy

      Bannon

      • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

        Bannonesque.

        • coozledad

          Reubensandwichesque.

          • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

            Winner, winner, chicken dinner.

    • Anna Rompage

      Morbidly obese?

    • FlemmishSpy

      Zaftig.

      • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

        For the feminine.

    • TheGrandWazoo2

      Wear horizontal stripes so I can tell if you’re walking or rolling.

    • therblig
    • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

      Roly-poly is a nice one.

    • FlemmishSpy

      Weeble

      • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

        Ponderous

        Avoirdupois

    • The Wanderer

      Mr. Creosote?

      • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

        It’s only wafer thin.

        • The Wanderer

          Hee!

    • Indivisible Snark Tank

      “Human”.

      (I hate fat jokes.)

    • The Wanderer

      Steatopygian?

      • OutOfOrbit

        thx for the new word, tho’ I can’t think of ever applying it to anybody (when sober).

        • The Wanderer

          It’s just the nicest, most technical way I can think of for calling someone “Fatass.”

    • Elvis Causticfellow

      Could lose a few.

    • Vincent Ricola

      “Healthy.”

    • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

      Rotund

    • Covfefe

      Trumpesque

    • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

      Ample, husky, plump, stout.

      I refuse to Google these.

    • Alan

      Not if you’re talking to a woman and you know what’s good for you.

    • Gayer Than Thou

      “Plus Woman” at the department store I once worked at.

    • FlemmishSpy

      Here’s a word not to use when the wife asks how her new pants look: “jodhpurs”.

    • arglebargle

      calorically challenged?

    • MrTusks

      American

    • FlownΩver

      “Presidential”

      • OutOfOrbit

        I had no idea there are so many!

  • Covfefe

    OT: Spewking of “too fat,” no way Donald can do his own press briefings.

    • WotsAllThisThen

      Bannon ruled himself out with this standard as well.

  • memzilla Ω

    Don’t you libtards understand the First Amendment? It specifically says “freedom from the press.”

  • GunToting[Redacted]

    Gaggle me with a spoon… Totally…

    • Marion in Savannah

      Moon Unit, is that you?!

  • AnnieGetYerFun

    CNN: The Benched Press

  • FlemmishSpy
    • Villago Delenda Est

      Prez with a six pack.

    • OneYieldRegular

      That there’s yer argument for keeping the ACA.

  • CAUTION: GAGGLES CAN BE A CHOKING HAZARD TO TYRANTS UNDER THE MENTAL AGE OF 12.
    https://media2.giphy.com/media/ZXPQc3lV2OPBe/giphy.gif

  • jesterpunk
  • Nasty Candy Apple

    I vote “Y” to liveblogging.

  • Mavenmaven

    Trump wants more leg, like on Fox News, how else do you expect him to watch these white house news briefings, so low energy and everyone so unattractive!

  • AnnieGetYerFun

    Seriously, it’s hilarious, the idea of Trump being image-conscious.

  • Joe Beese

    Let’s be honest. The only value of these briefings is the petty pleasure we get from seeing the designated spokesweasel be forced to embarrass themselves with transparent lies.

    If the reporters stenographing the daily propaganda dump were free to do, you know, actual reporting, we would certainly come out ahead.

    • proudgrampa

      Seriously. The press briefings are a joke and a waste of time. Since the administration is not interested in providing information, there is little point to having them.

  • Elvis Causticfellow

    Maybe Sean should go back to that too-large suit he wore on the first day. It is “slimming.”

  • proudgrampa

    If Sarah HAD two brain cells to rub together, that would be an improvement.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      She inherited one brain cell from dad, one from mom. It’s what she’s got to work with.

      • Alan

        Ummm…one from mom, zero from dad.

        • Villago Delenda Est

          Fair point. No evidence dad ever had a brain cell to pass down.

  • TJ Barke

    The point of keeping out cameras and recordings is so that it’ll be the lying press’s word against dear Trumpenfuhrer’s, and we all know who his dumbass supporters will believe.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Because…

      wait for it…

      THEY ARE DUMBASSES!

    • Edith Prickly

      I read something recently (could have been here) that said Trump’s devotees don’t even bother with media stories, they get their info straight from his tweets, which are akin to holy writ.

      • TJ Barke

        Yep, and this is a sort of stopgap for the few that aren’t quite as devoted.

        • Bad Tom

          Devoted. Devolved. One of those.

    • Red Bird Ω

      Exactly.

    • OneYieldRegular

      Next Trump, under false pretenses, will be inviting the press to a romantic candle-lit dinner for two and asking for their loyalty.

  • Bub, Zombie of the Resistance

    Remember when Hillary Clinton was being assailed for her infrequent press conferences?

    • Vincent Ricola

      WHAT DID SHE HAVE TO HIDE!!11!!!???

      • Villago Delenda Est

        Her…emails?

        • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

          No, she “bleached” those. Bleached and folded into hospital corners. She was very tidy.

      • Red Bird Ω

        The fact that she is a …… WOMAN??????

  • Anna Rompage

    Maybe if his suit, and background of the briefing room were both coated in Vantablack, people wouldn’t notice the results of poor lying spice’s binge eating episodes since working for the Donad…

    • Elvis Causticfellow

      Just kind of a floating head.

  • Gayer Than Thou

    I don’t even understand why I laughed until I cried when I read “Sean got fatter.” But there it is. I may even have cackled.

    Edited to add: I was recently forward pictures of a fun lunch with colleagues but since I look fat in them, they did not end up on Facebook.

    • Marion in Savannah

      But did you snicker and chortle?

      • Gayer Than Thou

        And guffawed.

        • proudgrampa

          You are BAD.

          And proudgrampa approves.

        • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

          And tittered?

          • Gayer Than Thou

            And snickered.

          • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

            And covered, smothered, chunked?

            Waffle House moment.

        • Mpeg

          I laughed too, at the framing in which Bannon delivered this, apparently without further ado — thus validating our suppositions that the farce which is our White House really holds no more merit or integrity than the set of a reality show (tm Costa) — AND wondering if Real Answers from this Administration are so far beyond reach even Bannon appears to be trolling us with tossed-out morsels like “He got fat” BUT ALSO it’s in keeping with the weird new Twilight Zone aspect of their ineptitude that’s on display for everyone.
          Absurdity at its most unrefined, is what I guess I’m saying~

          • Marion in Savannah

            Or absurdity raised to an art form.

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      The camera adds at least 50 lbs.

      • Indivisible Snark Tank

        Monica: “The camera adds ten pounds.”
        Chandler: “How many cameras were on you?”

        ETA: I still hate fat jokes, but that one’s at least semi-humorous.

      • OneYieldRegular

        It’s true. I used to have a temp job in Beverly Hills in a ground floor suite with floor-to-ceiling windows. I could watch celebrities pass by every day. It was like Munchkinland, a constant parade of dwarfs. Jackie Mason was tiny! Kirstie Alley? Four-foot-two in heels, if even that tall. They were all actual size, but they seemed much smaller to me.

      • FlownΩver

        So stop eating the cameras!

        • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

          They are so yummy. As a traditionalist I prefer the Nikon Fe. Great with caramel sauce.

    • TundraGrifter

      And they say the camera adds 10 or 15 lbs….

  • Skwerl the Taco Hunter
    • Marion in Savannah

      Jesus — my cholesterol shot up 50 points just reading about that stuff.

      • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

        And this is just the new stuff. I am going to be so fat (and hungover) come Labor Day.

    • cmd resistor

      Not boring!

    • miss_grundy

      I wonder what the “Carnival Eats'” host will be sampling….

  • Bozilingus

    No audio. No video.

    No way to prove anything.

  • Keith Taylor

    Oh, Evan Hurst, sir. “Delicious and sexual Steve Bannon”? Sure, I know it’s a mocking joke, but shouldn’t there be limits even today? Just considering the concept is enough to put anybody bar the grossest pervert off sex for a year.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      The Wonkette dick joke brigade is all good, then.

  • baconzgood

    Next they will be shouting from the bushes who they hire and fire.. oh wait

  • Alan

    Today I learned what an Omarosa is.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      …and you immediately rushed to the bathroom and lost breakfast.

    • Elvis Causticfellow

      You learn something new every day. Unfortunately, that was it for you today.

      • Alan

        Egad, I hope not.

    • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

      You mean it’s not an adult beverage one has with brunch?

      • Alan

        That’s what I thought but no….

      • Indivisible Snark Tank

        I thought it was one of the side effects of Dampnuts’ propecia scrip.

    • Mr. Blobfish

      I had that once. Had to sit on a foam donut for 2 weeks.

    • Marion in Savannah

      My condolences. And thoughts. And prayers.

    • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

      It was married to Michael Clark Duncan and, at the risk of coming off calous, I think she killed him.

      • Alan

        Oh no, now I have to look someone else up?

        • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

          Please don’t. File Omarosa under “blue waffle” or “two girls, one cup” as something to never, ever Google.

          You’ll thank me now and again later.

      • William Cook for now

        You’re not he only one.

    • Celtic_Gnome

      If memory serves, it’s the one African American in the administration who doesn’t work for the “urban” department.

  • TheGrandWazoo2

    It’s not so much the briefing, it’s those darn pesky questions after he gives it.

  • Beowoof14

    Who made that call, Fat Ass Donnie himself. I’m hearing Donnie 2 scoops has put on more than 50lbs in his quest to MAGA.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      “Make his Ass Giant Again”?

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      He’s really got to hate that name. Good. He probably still thinks of himself as The Playboy of the Western World.

  • Mr. Blobfish

    Since no one wants to work for Trump, we just may get FBI Director Odorosa

    • Gayer Than Thou

      FBI Director/Press Secretary/Ambassador to Japan.

      • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

        Don’t forget Attorney General

      • jesterpunk

        She can also be SecNav.

      • marxalot

        Princess/Astronaut/Ninja/Veterinarian/Deputy Secretary of the Interior

        • LucindathePook

          Ballerina.

    • jesterpunk

      What Jared isnt good enough for that job? He can do it between solving the middle east, fixing government and taking bribes from foreign countries.

    • OutOfOrbit

      First read “Odorass” there.

      • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

        “Odorass” is Trump’s Secret Service name.

      • theCryptofishist

        Where did you read Odorass next?

  • WotsAllThisThen

    Megyn Kelly might be looking for a new job soon, and she’s willing to work with a glass podium.

  • BrianW

    Actually, I could believe that about Spicey. Simply because, if I worked there I would be stress eating every day.

  • baconzgood

    Bannon fat shamed someone? The world has taken a turn for the irony.

    • Marion in Savannah

      Irony, the poor dear, is passed out in the corner with several empty bottles of bourbon.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        Kissinger winning the Nobel Peace Prize was just a warm up.

    • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

      I place that in the hypocrisy corner, which is quite crowded these days.

  • Mr. Blobfish

    As an I/T doofer, there are 2 words I hate: nimble and robust. My brain clicks off when I hear them.

    • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

      How about …
      “waterfall”
      “architectural review”
      “did you actually test that?”

      • Mr. Blobfish

        Silo.

        • theCryptofishist

          Shiloh? Vicksburg?

        • marxalot

          Simple Interface Library Operating System
          “Get your librarians into SilOS!”
          (it’s a joke, but after hearing the sord “silos” one too many times, this happened)

          • miss_grundy

            Did you ever what to stick that individual in a silo? Asking for a friend….

        • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

          I’m retired now but toward the end I developed a real contempt for my company’s waterfall methodology. “Something that costs $1 to fix at design time costs $100 to fix during testing.” That came from the 1960s and, incredibly, development tools had improved since then. Particularly, use of RDBs to insulate developers from data structures and OO to isolate code. But waterfall it was!

          They used formulas for estimates that were based on one hour of coding time required nine hours of supporting activities. (If we were making medical devices, that might be necessary, but this was just office support software.) Most estimates were too costly to proceed, so relatively little got actually done.

          After a production problem one day, I described how the circumstances were very rare and would take far less time to workaround ad hoc than, according to the estimate, to fix the code. I was being cost effective! They told me I had a bad attitude.

        • miss_grundy

          Proactive…….

      • Earle

        “Agile”

        • chortlingdingo

          Omg yes. And “scrum.”

      • Shibusa

        Listen, I usually avoid cliches like the plague but to be an agent of change you have to see this paradigm shift as a win-win. At the end of the day when the smoke clears we need to manage expectations. We might as well address the elephant in the room, and take it to the next level. If we move the needle, it will be a game-changer.

    • Red Bird Ω

      Bid data?

    • arglebargle

      “Functionality” makes me stabby.

      • mappo

        “performant”

        *smashes things*

    • sadboy

      “Process management”. Sounds like a good idea, but in reality it’s an excuse for an idiotic OCD-afflicted manager to hold up the entire project for six weeks because the arrows on the flowcharts aren’t quite the right shade of blue.

      • FlownΩver

        Albeit hyperintelligent.

    • schmannity

      takeaway

      going forward

    • At the end of the day………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

    • chortlingdingo

      This one is more of a business thing: thought leadership.

      It grates on my grammatical nerves.

  • HorseChestnut

    And why aren’t comments allowed, anyway? When did that start?

    • OutOfOrbit

      Nobody knows. It is a question for the ages.

    • Marion in Savannah

      It’s like the jam in “Through the Looking Glass:” Comments yesterday and comments tomorrow, but never comments today. Does that help explain the conundrum?

      • William Cook for now

        We are allowed to comment every other day.

        • Bad Tom

          You can gladly comment on the second Tuesday of next week.

          • William Cook for now

            I comment what I comment and that’s all that I comment.

    • MrTusks

      When this became a mommyblog/recipe sharing site!

    • PsycWench

      I have longed to leave a comment on Wonkette but alas, my dream will be denied. One more bucket list item I’ll never accomplish.

  • Red Bird Ω

    No. I say all the newspapers make stuff up and then tell the White House to prove it isn’t true without video and audio support. Hengh?

    • jesterpunk

      Spicer came out and made some noises that sound almost but not entirely like words but they made no sense at all. Dear gods vogon poetry makes more sense then this. He then brought up how Trump won the bigliest election win ever period then said Trump scored 18 holes in 1 with 12 shots the last time he played golf.

    • William Cook for now

      That would be exactly what they want, a giant he said she said free for all where they can claim whatever they want at the time.

  • Mr. Blobfish

    If we ignore Trump, will he go away?

    • Marion in Savannah

      We’ll never know because Faux Noise and that crowd will never ignore him.

  • Jared James

    If the overriding media strategy of the Trump White House were to produce a he-said/she-said standoff with the press, such that there would be no clear and irrefutable evidence what the administration had said was [a lie/a lie which changed/a lie which changed within hours] this would be a rational next step.

    I’m not suggesting the White House has, to date, offered anything resembling a rational agenda, but this would be one.

    • TJ Barke

      You can bet that this is their plan, and I’d bet it’s one of the admin nazi’s(Bannon or Miller) ideas.

      • jesterpunk

        You know its really bad that you have to specify which Nazi you mean in the White House, there are so many of them.

        • TJ Barke

          There were 3 essentially confirmed, namely bannon and miller and gorka, but gorka’s supposedly gone now.

          • jesterpunk

            That is still 3 more then it should be. Also you have Trump, the guy who thinks Heil Hitler is a family joke.

            From the 1990 Vanity Fair interview with Trump and Ivana.

            http://www.vanityfair.com/magazine/2015/07/donald-ivana-trump-divorce-prenup-marie-brenner

            Donald Trump appears to take aspects of his German background seriously.John Walter works for the Trump Organization, and when he visits Donald in his office, Ivana told a friend, he clicks his heels and says, “Heil Hitler,” possibly as a family joke.

            Last April, perhaps in a surge of Czech nationalism, Ivana Trump told her lawyer Michael Kennedy that from time to time her husband reads a book of Hitler’s collected speeches, My New Order, which he keeps in a cabinet by his bed. Kennedy now guards a copy of My New Order in a closet at his office, as if it were a grenade. Hitler’s speeches, from his earliest days up through the Phony War of 1939, reveal his extraordinary ability as a master propagandist.

      • Jared James

        Bannon thus far seems to be the only member of the administration (oddly enough) who has a rational theory of government, albeit a morally repugnant one which is antithetical to the continuance of republican rule.

    • Joe Beese

      It hardly matters whether they’re caught in a lie if their supporters cheerfully accept whatever they’re told, no matter how self-contradictory.

      • jesterpunk

        They dont care, they are just happy because it pisses off liberals. That is all they want, government by spite.

      • TJ Barke

        This is sort of a stopgap for those that aren’t quite that far down the trumphole.

      • Jared James

        Ay, there’s the rub.

  • Crystalclear12

    This is fine.

  • Le Covfefe Royal

    I blame Marlin Fitzwater for setting an impossible standard of a masculine body image for today’s young bullshitters to live up to.

  • LastNewDealer?

    Sarah Huckabee…important “person”. Suggested edit

    • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

      Voter to amend the “two brain cells” comment as well.

  • theCryptofishist

    How does a bowl full of jelly shout?

    • Villago Delenda Est

      “Ho ho ho”?

  • Ricky Gay

    Is there a kitten bowl you could live blog instead?

  • TheGrandWazoo2
  • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

    To hell with Grover Norquist as well.

    No need for context and the reason should be clear to everyone here.

  • Carpe Vagenda
    • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

      And you know they mean business because it is HOT and MUGGY out there today.

    • Raan

      No wonder the dinosaurs are coming out for Ossoff. He actually believes in them.

      • Indivisible Snark Tank

        I’m sure Handel believes in them too, but is OK with God leaving them off of Noah’s Ark along with the unicorns and koalas.

  • Raan

    “He got fatter.”

    That’s the best lie you can come up with? You go sit in the racist corner until you decide to tell the truth, or at least come up with a better lie.

  • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

    ot: the local fishwrapper says the high friday will be 112 degrees.

    Fuck, that’s hot.

    That is all.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Thankfully, we here in Tracktown are only looking at 79 or so today, after pushing 90 yesterday.

      Hey, in Seattle, they go into full panic mode at 80!

      • DainBramage

        When it reaches the 80s in Seattle, the moss and lichen starts dropping off our limbs and we’re in trouble.

      • Raan

        When it reaches 80 in Florida, we turn our clocks forward again or go Trick or Treating, depending on which way the temperature’s going.

    • DainBramage

      My sister lives near Phoenix. They recently had a mister installed out on their patio.
      http://s2.quickmeme.com/img/ae/ae45ba4022a3cfd6087209096985ea129021c22406574a95666f72a1fecc4e60.jpg

      • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

        not a bad idea – i went to a day long music festival one summer in dallas years ago. I literally spent most of the day in the misting tent.

    • TJ Barke

      Ghinese hoax!

      • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

        you were sleepin’, but i mentioned that yesterday it was over 100, then a storm blew through and it rained, then hailed. That’s 2 hail days in may and june.
        That shit is weird.

        • William Cook for now

          Up in Northern Canada we had a week of rain in the middle of January. At this point I wouldn’t be surprised if the forecast called for frogs.

    • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

      That kind of heat makes snowflakes of us all.

      Hydrate, then hydrate again.

      • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

        heh, or hyde in the a/c.
        I’ve been reading some local history lately – but even before that, I wondered about people “living” in this area.
        People have been here over 10 thousand years, according to my book, but its been a “city” for like 400+.

        Without a/c.
        No thank you.
        (P.S. I noticed yesterday how pleasant the shade is…when standing in the sun means 100+ temperature)

  • Pollos Hermanos
    • Raan

      Ah, Press Secretary Creosote.

      • Joe Beese

        I believe I scarred my mother for life by having her take me to see that movie.

  • marxalot

    How long before someone just turns on the recording function on their phone and then drops the audio online?

    • Raan

      One week. I give it one week before someone from the New York Times or Washington Post decides “Fuck it.”

    • NastyBossetti

      I was just wondering what the chances are that not one reporter had their phone recording anyway, so that they had proof when the White House inevitably lies and claims something was not said.

  • William

    Wait what? but Sarah Huckabee still has her job? Really?

  • miss_grundy

    When will the WH press corps start having cojones? F*ck these asshats on the front page of every serious newspaper in this country.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      They were surgically removed back during the shitty grade Z movie star malassstration. They’re only plugged back in if a D is in the White House.

    • harryr

      … or go off and learn shorthand. It isn’t that hard, and it used to be standard for journalists.

  • William

    I thought the White House was over the fat shaming thing….especially after Ivanka introduced her Presidential inspired line of designer handbags. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/c73e3c716701e559c07c0fc90c49470d7628383f50190105adb0ed0e2a7d81a9.jpg

    • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

      my fat ass libelz!

      • Anna Elizabeth

        OT – I just saw an AH-64A, at around 2000 AGL, heading for Fort Carson.

        I used to see Longbow -Ds, but I think there were with 1st Cav, and 1st Cav is in Europe now.

        • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

          sweet. Must be training time. I swear, i actually talked to a marine corps rec once about flying rotor winged aircraft. Maybe best I didn’t go through with it.

          (Also, sorry to hear about the date. That sucks…and fuck that dude. Wait htat came out wrong. You know what i mean!)

          • Anna Elizabeth

            Thanx Hun. xD

            I like Marine Rotary Wing. I have a book, “Hammer From Above”, it’s a combat history of Marine aviation in OIF 1. Some pretty crazy stuffs happened.

          • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

            i’ll add it to my (very long) list.

  • Joe Beese

    The Rude Pundit, on point:

    One last thing needs to happen, and I’m frankly stunned that it hasn’t happened yet. The Affordable Care Act is the signature achievement of the Obama presidency. Where the fuck is he? Why the fuck isn’t Barack Obama barnstorming the country, riling people up? He gets to protect his legacy. Enough of being above the fray. Fuck that. Lives are on the line, man, and a bunch of vicious assholes are shitting all over him.

    Obama, Biden, get ’em all out there, giving interviews, tearing into the cruelty of those who want to turn back the clock. This is life and death, motherfuckers. Let’s all act like it is.

    http://rudepundit.blogspot.com/2017/06/dont-let-bastards-murder-affordable.html

    • I can’t speak for the man, but if it were me, and I had spent eight years of my life enduring blistering attacks, constant undermining of good governance, having a SCOTUS nomination stolen from me, and then having America replace me with an orange clown and the people who had obstructed my attempts at every turn to make life better for the country, my answer would be ‘Go fuck yourself, America.’

      And also, I can’t imagine the racist Trump voting asshole residents of Bumfuck, Alabama or Mississippi or Pennsylvania would be inclined to listen to a black man about anything.

      • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

        They wouldn’t vote for him, so you’re right, they won’t listen to him at all.

    • Vincent Ricola

      Hopefully it’s because he’s running the resistance from his deep state volcano lair in Hawaii and doesn’t have time to barnstorm the country. *fingers crossed*

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      The only reason I can think of is that Obama doesn’t want to make it about him. There were lots of uninformed people out there who loved the ACA but hated Obamacare because Obama.
      There might be a concern that should he campaign in favor of the act, he becomes a lightening rod, rather that there being a discussion of the benefits of the act itself.
      I’m not saying it’s the reason, or even a good reason, just a possible one.

  • Jeffocaster in the East
  • William

    Remember when all Spicer had to do was to NOT compliment Hitler?
    Good times. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/dc597964427dab727ae8f0eb1fa127882208c2c8eeb9bbcfe84b23870805728c.jpg

  • BigCSouthside

    Sean I think is a misguided soul. He lies for trump but I think there is good there. If Laura ingraham becomes press sec we will get an irredeemable sentient pile of flaming dog shit

  • Spurning Beer

    Sean Spicer is to communication what Steve Bannon is to personal hygiene.

  • jowgajen

    OT: About the only thing that makes me feel better about this guy vs. two scoops:

    http://www.cnn.com/2017/06/19/politics/pence-puppy/index.html

  • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

    Does Steve Bannon even really exist? Is he little more than a racist meme? Is he Pepe?

    • Spurning Beer

      Like Pepe, but greener, uglier, and with more spots and warts.

    • Raan

      He’s Pepe’s toad cousin.

  • Jeffocaster in the East

    SEAN SPICER IS A FAT HEAD!!!!!!!! true,

    • msanthropesmr

      Dude. Layoff the coffee.

  • News from Trump Voter country….

    Pennsylvania alarm clock stuck in wall for 13 years goes off every day

    “I thought, well, that’s not a real problem.”

    The couple said for them, the alarm reports of treason, corruption and collusion has become a routine sound they hear every night.
    https://media.tenor.com/images/0a2247fe18a35618d8b9afbe67e9baf7/tenor.gif

  • chascates
    • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

      i must have missed that part where two dozen Republicans were assassinated.
      Also – curious what this person had to say about Giffords.

    • elviouslyqueer

      Bless her heart, but that’s a whole passel of crazy right there.

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      “American Thinker”

      OBJECTION! Assumes facts not in evidence!

    • Fuck, they’ve sure got their goddamn talking points. I’m sure these same people were just aghast when Gabby Giffords was shot, right? I’m sure every single time a right wing lunatic shoots up an abortion clinic, or a movie theatre, or a black church, they are up in arms decrying the violence inherent in the (right wing) system. They couldn’t ALL be opportunistic, hypocritical shitbags, could they?

      • TundraGrifter

        They were sure aghast when the DHS issued its report warning us about right wing domestic terrorists.

    • Master Contrail Program

      Ahhh. American Thinker, a perennial contender for most ironically named right wing entity. Always in the running with Americans For Prosperity and WesternJournalism.com.

    • TundraGrifter

      Remember when she was just as passionate against Welfare Rancher Bundy’s armed Occupy Nevada Movement? And how she denounced the gun-toting mob that took over the Federal bird sanctuary?

      I don’t either.

    • Also, too, “it’s always projection”.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Self-awareness is not one of their strong points.

      • Weird Fishes

        Being very well-armed, however, is.

    • Raan
      • Weird Fishes

        Yup it do. We are well and truly fucked.

    • Rags
    • miss_grundy

      Is this cow projecting much?

    • SeeTrain65

      Another Bizarro World publication.

    • cmd resistor

      So, “Democrat Assailants.”

  • TundraGrifter

    “I don’t know why we covered that gaggle today …”

    Just put their ass on “Ignore” and spend a few days not reporting from the White House.

    President Trump would absolutely lose his shit.

    • Anna Elizabeth

      Damn right. Grow some fucking balls, you media shills.

  • Master Contrail Program

    Sean’s getting bigger? That’s just more spite—whoops!– I mean, Spice to love!

  • Carpe Vagenda
  • Joe Beese

    From fat-ass to dumbass:

    In an interview with CNBC on Monday, US Energy Secretary Rick Perry said that carbon dioxide emissions from human activities aren’t the primary driver of climate change. Instead, the former Texas governor responded that “most likely the primary control knob is the ocean waters and this environment that we live in.”

    It’s unclear how Perry envisions this “control knob” and how it works; a generous analysis of his answer would be that he misunderstood the question.

    https://arstechnica.com/science/2017/06/rick-perry-says-carbon-dioxide-is-not-a-primary-driver-of-climate-change/

    • Bub, Zombie of the Resistance

      Rick “Ooops” Perry is a knob.

      • TundraGrifter

        Gobbler?

    • arglebargle

      So the environment, which includes bodies of water, controls the climate. Well, no duh. What the fuck is changing the environment you mental midget? The earth is fucked.

      ETA: the earth will be fine given a few million years. Humanity is fucked.

      • William Cook for now

        Humanity will probably also survive. We won’t enjoy it though.

      • SadDemInTex

        That’s why I love Neal DeGrasse Tyson. He always says the earth will be here a loooooooong time just not any good for humans.

    • Wild Cat

      Don’t expect much from the man from N****rhead Ranch.

      • ariel_gee_398

        Sounds like the title of the world’s worst Spaghetti Western.

        • TundraGrifter

          Or the Blazing Saddles sequel also written by Richard Pryor. Before his trip to Africa, of course.

        • Wild Cat

          Eastwood was the most racist entity in Leone’s films. In real life. What a piece of shit, and how many folks did he play for fools?

    • Rick Hill

      Proly a result of some people trying to explain the function of the Dept he heads. This, most likely, included hand puppets and very small words

    • Villago Delenda Est

      My wingnut sister argued with me about “human activities” causing climate change, and cited all those cows along I-5 on the west side of the San Joaquin Valley polluting the air. And why are there all those cattle lots? It’s not because that’s cattle’s favorite natural habitat, after all…

      • TJ Barke

        Umm, what?

        • Villago Delenda Est

          I should have indicated that I pointed out that the cattle lots are not there because cattle love to be confined to cattle lots…

    • Bub, Zombie of the Resistance

      The Rethugs have their greedy, grasping mitts on the climate’s “control knob.” And they are gonna turn that bitch up to 11, ’cause PROFITS!

      • yyyaz

        They’ll break it trying to twist it up to 12.

    • Bub, Zombie of the Resistance

      Jill Stein and the Green party think all this is just hunky-dory! I mean, Hillary wouldn’t have been any different at all, right?

      “In some ways, Trump is one of the best things to happen to this country because look at how many people are getting off their posteriors,” said Sherry Wells, chairwoman of Michigan’s Green Party. “So part of me is giggling.”

      http://www.rawstory.com/2017/06/part-of-me-is-giggling-green-party-activists-cheer-trump-and-dismiss-russia-hacks-as-pathetic-excuses/?comments=disqus

    • TJ Barke
    • Doug Langley

      Funny how that suddenly make my eye twitch get much worse.

    • AJ Milne

      Wrong, Perry, dear…

      (And listen, any time you open yer gob, everyone knows where the knob is anyway.)

    • Manders

      Would those be the ocean waters that serve as a massive sink for CO2, Glasses?

      ARGH.

  • Bozilingus

    Bad news… the fog from the White House is getting thicker.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PzZ4i8aWs_s

  • WeaselPoo

    The job of the press secretary is to promote the positives and deflect the negatives of the President. Spicer, however, has to absolutely lie and fabricate and bully with bullshit to defend and promote Trump, because that’s ALl that Trump ever does.
    If Spicer is getting tired of that, he can quit…but he would rather carry on, jus put of public view.
    He is a turd.

  • calliecallie

    I realize is probably wouldn’t be quality stuff or may not be journalistically ethical, but don’t their cell phones have cameras with video? Just saying. This is the 21st century. You can’t keep shit secret any more. (Unless you’re those 13 guys working on a new healthcare bill, I guess.)

    • William Cook for now

      I’m starting to think the footage of Spicer yelling at them to turn the cameras off might be worth it.

      Most Americans frankly won’t notice if press briefings disappear, but footage of the administration removing camera crews might be damning enough to wake some people up.

      • BearDeLaOursistance

        Thrown out of the briefing and/or arrested? Worth it. But I wouldn’t put it past these fucks to start disappearing journalists to CIA black sites.

  • TundraGrifter

    June 9, 2014
    BREAKING: 5 Dead, Including 2 Officers In Vegas

    • By Brian Nordli (contact), Kyle Roerink (contact), Joe Schoenmann (contact)

    Hours after a man and woman killed two police officers at an east Las Vegas pizza restaurant and then gunned down another victim at a nearby Wal-Mart before killing themselves, a picture of the shooters began to emerge.

    Residents at an apartment complex where it appeared the two lived together said they had a reputation for spouting racist, anti-government views, bragging about their gun collection and boasting that they’d spent time at Cliven Bundy’s ranch during a recent standoff there between armed militia members and federal government agents.

    The duo also told people they planned to commit a mass shooting, said Brandon Moore, a resident of the complex.

    “They were handing out white-power propaganda and were talking about doing the next Columbine,” Moore said.

    The shooters did more than talk about committing violence.

    Sheriff Doug Gillespie called the events that left five dead — Metro Officers Alyn Beck, 41, and Igor Soldo, 31; an unidentified bystander; and the two assailants — “an unprecedented day here at the Las Vegas Metropolitan Police Department as well as in the Las Vegas community.”

    http://www.lasvegassun.com/news/2014/jun/09/neighbors-couple-suspected-las-vegas-killing-spree/

    Las Vegas Shooting Suspects ‘Talked About Murdering Cops’
    By RYAN OWENS | Good Morning America

    The man and woman suspected in Sunday’s Las Vegas shopping center attack that left two police officers and a shopper dead often talked about killing officers and didn’t believe in the government, a neighbor says.

    They always talked about murdering cops,” neighbor Krista Koch told ABC affiliate KTNV-TV.

    “They were going to kill as many officers as they can, and then they were going to do away with themselves.”

    Investigators searched an apartment overnight believed to be related to the shooting, trying to uncover clues about the midday attack. Police are looking into the couple’s links to the white supremacy movement after finding swastika symbols during their initial investigation, according to the Las Vegas Review-Journal.

    http://gma.yahoo.com/las-vegas-shooting-suspects-talked-murdering-cops-112544275–abc-news-topstories.html

    …the DHS assessment cited an F.B.I. report written under the Bush administration which said “some returning military veterans from the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan have joined extremist groups.”

    In that July 2008 report, titled “White Supremacist Recruitment of Military Personnel since 9/11,” the FBI’s Counterterrorism Division found said that “military experience is found throughout the white supremacist extremist movement as the result of recruitment campaigns by extremist groups and self-recruitment by veterans sympathetic to white supremacist causes.”

    It added that a “review of FBI white supremacist extremist cases from October 2001 to May 2008 identified 203 individuals with confirmed or claimed military service active in the extremist movement at some time during the reporting period.”

    http://thecaucus.blogs.nytimes.com/2009/04/16/extremist-report-draws-criticism-prompts-apology/?_php=true&_type=blogs&_r=0

    Domestic terrorism by members of extremist groups a serious threat: FBI
    Published 10 August 2012

    The FBI and other government law-enforcement agencies have been convinced for a while that terrorism from extremist domestic organizations is just as dangerous as terrorism from foreign organizations, but efforts by authorities to detect and pre-empt violent extremists have faced serious legal and political hurdles, including free speech guarantees and pushback from political lobbies suspicious of the government’s motives
    After learning that Wade Michael Page, a former Army veteran and white supremacist, was responsible for shooting six people at a Wisconsin Sikh temple, journalists and analysts noted that the FBI as well as other government law-enforcement agencies have been conviced for a while that terrorism from extremist domestic organizations is just as dangerous as terrorism from foreign organizations.

    In April 2009 DHS secretary Janet Napolitano released a report (see the report here) [available at the website] identifying right-wing extremists as posing a terror threat to the United States. The 2009 DHS report was based on three FBI reports on the subject — from 2004, 2006, and 2007 — written under the guidance and supervision of the George W. Bush administration’s Justice Department (the term “right-wing” was used by the FBI in these reports), but as Reuters reports (also see this Los Angeles Times report and this Salon story), the 2009 report was met with criticism from conservative commentators and lawmakers, who said DHS was playing politics.

    What is clear from the FBI surveillance and analysis of extremist groups in the United States, surveillance which intensified after 9/11, is that the U.S. government has considered neo-Nazi and white supremacists as genuine threats for many years. FBI documents declassified in July in response to Freedom of Information Act (fFOIA) requests by the National Security Archives (NSA), reveal that the bureau has considered these groups as threats for decades — so long in fact, that it has been lost on many that white supremacists, in the form of the Ku Klux Klan, pioneered modern homegrown terrorism.

    These documents, which were collected by the National Security Archive, discuss the problems that extremist groups pose to society. According to a 2004 FBI report, “right-wing terrorists pose a significant threat due to their propensity for violence.” Many of these groups sprang up after 9/11.

    The FBI notes that since then, most the extremist groups have been using secretive tactics in order to keep themselves under the radar. One such maneuver is to go to various police stations and offer information in order to gauge the agency’s interest in an organization.

    Another tactic is called “ghost skins.” This involves members of neo-Nazi and other white supremacist groups hiding all or part of their affiliation in order to join the military as well as other areas of law enforcement for the purpose of receiving training

    http://www.homelandsecuritynewswire.com/dr20120810-domestic-terrorism-by-members-of-extremist-groups-a-serious-threat-fbi

    • Villago Delenda Est

      They can’t be terrorists. They’re white.

    • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

      Bonnie and Clyde, they ain’t.

      Unless Bonnie and Clyde were on meth.

    • Master Contrail Program

      I’m sure the professional pearl-clutchers and vapor-catchers will be right on it to denounce such activities, if we can pry them off of their fainting couches.

    • TJ Barke

      Damn violent liberals!

    • jesterpunk

      Ahh more mentally ill lone wolves.

    • Weird Fishes

      Still angry at Obama.

  • rosenbomb

    No doubt Angry Spice has been stress eating, but the getting fat excuse is a distraction from the scary prospect of eliminating the WH’s relationship with the press.

    • OutOfOrbit

      Why not eliminate it? Nothing certain is ever gained from this crowd.

      • rosenbomb

        I wouldn’t be surprised if they did. Which is also scary. What a time to be alive.

        • OutOfOrbit

          These are the “interesting” times we were warned about.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      One has to fight for even one scoop in the Donnie Two Scoops WH.

  • Ωbjectifier

    “Sarah Huckabee Sanders has two brain cells to rub together.”
    Assumes facts not in evidence.

    • Master Contrail Program

      No one ever said they were functioning.

    • BearDeLaOursistance

      “Two anemic Betz cells connected by a spirochete.” — My dad’s time-honored description of the Brains of the Brainless

    • Manders

      She must have got ’em from her momma.

  • OneYieldRegular

    “They’re basically pointless at this point.”

    Sarah Huckabee Sanders countered that CNN does not know what it is talking about because Acosta’s words “at this point” prove that the White House interaction with the press is not “pointless.” She then high-fived Kellyanne Conway and departed the podium.

  • vivian

    I vote Y/N.

  • Joe Beese

    “It’s a disgrace what happened to Otto. It’s a total disgrace what happened to Otto,” Trump told reporters. …

    “It should never, ever be allowed to happen, and, frankly, if he were brought home sooner, I think the result would have been a lot different,” Trump said. “He should have been brought home that same day. The result would have been a lot different.”

    Trump said he has spoken with the Warmbier family, which he called “incredible.”

    http://www.politico.com/story/2017/06/20/trump-otto-warmbier-reaction-239753

    • Predisenting Ron

      It’s a disgrace what happened to Otto. We should have been allowed to let him get sick and die in an AMERICAN prison.
      – Donnie Two Scoops, looking out for the for-profit prison industry

      • Weird Fishes

        Real Jobs for Real ‘Muricans!

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Um, Donald, were you going to mount an extraction expedition before you were installed in office by Vlad to rescue the kid?

    • Bub, Zombie of the Resistance

      If only young Warmbier had been incarcerated in Sheriff Clarke’s jail. I’m sure he’d be just fine now.

    • alpacapunchbowl

      Brought home that same day as what? WTF is he even on about?

    • JAKvirginia

      I’m just supposing that we’re not allowed to discuss what the fuck he was thinking to be in NK to begin with, huh? Not my idea of a good time to travel to an anti-American, despot-run country where farting on the street could probably get you a prison sentence. Does anyone here think he would be getting top-notch medical care? This is a sad, sad situation that could easily have been avoided by staying the fuck home.

      • Joe Beese

        I can simultaneously believe that he was Stupid As Fuck and also that he didn’t deserve to die for it.

        • JAKvirginia

          True. But too often Stupid As Fuck leads to death. I find it difficult to care in that case. Like when an asshole playing with a gun shoots themselves.

          • William Cook for now

            If you don’t care, then kindly don’t wander in to post things that sound like ‘he deserved it’.

          • JAKvirginia

            That’s your interpretation. The French have an expression that fits: fait accompli. “Deserve it” is a judgement you make. Smoke cigarettes like a chimney, get lung cancer… did you “deserve it”? Or was it something bound to happen because of a choice made. Fait accompli.

      • cmd resistor

        I read today that he had been in China on some legit trip (like school-related) and this tour group was passing out fliers for trips/tours to NK, billed as the trip your parents don’t want you to take. I also saw on TV that that tour group is no longer going to take U S Citizens on its tours.

    • Everrett Fanuelli

      Trump’s negotiating incredible deals with the Warmbier family.

    • SadDemInTex

      This is just more Obama blaming.

      • cmd resistor

        I saw Trump re-tweeting some thing (maybe FOX) about how Obama told the family to be quiet. I didn’t read it. Although I know Trump is taking credit for the kid being released, does anyone know if it really was the result of anything he did?

        • Zyxomma

          No. The NKs just wanted to be rid of him before he croaked.

    • SisterArtemis

      Medical-ish question I haven’t come across the answer for yet: reports are that Warmbier had “extensive loss of brain tissue” (in this WaPo headline, for example). What does that even mean, and how does that sort of thing happen?

      • JAKvirginia

        Malnutrition and/or starvation, I believe.

        • William Cook for now

          Long term oxygen deprivation to the brain, caused by lack of medical care. Over time the dead brain tissue is reabsorbed by the body.

    • BearDeLaOursistance

      Meanwhile, Jeff Sessions drums his fingers together and considers imposing draconian mandatory minimums for stealing hotel posters.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    WHY ARE YOU ALL HIDING FROM THE TV CAMERAS, and Bannon texted back, “Sean got fatter.”

    Fat-shaming the staff–really? Have you checked Donald out lately? He’s not modeling for Men’s Fitness anytime soon FFS.

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      You’d think with Donnie Two Scoops’s vanity, they’d be telling all the staff to pork up so that he looks slimmer by comparison.

      • alpacapunchbowl

        Like a bridezilla picking out fugly bridesmaid dresses to make sure no one on the wedding party looks better than her? That is pretty much the level Don the Con operates on.

    • Persistent Tennessee Rain

      But, but…he’s the most fit president in history.

    • BadKitty904
      • SisterArtemis

        Harkonnen libulz!

        (seriously, as bad as the H’s were, the pus-adorned version in the movie was nothing like the groomed and self-conscious Baron of the books.)

        • BadKitty904

          In real life, evil is rarely so easily discerned.

          • Hemp Dogbane

            From Okkervil River’s murder ballad Westfall: “evil don’t look like anything.”

  • MynameisBlarney

    I swear to fuckin goawd….

    I got a phone on each ear, a customer in front of me and my clueless fuckin dad waltzes up grinning telling me I need to mop the floor.

    *eye twitch*

    Motherfucker….if he wasn’t a goddamned senior citizen I think I woulda back handed his stupid fucking face.

    • Anna Elizabeth

      I’m sorry Hun. ~hugs~

      • MynameisBlarney

        When I leave in a cloud of profanity, they will not have ANY goddamned idea why.

        • Anna Elizabeth

          I hear that. It sounds like they use you as a dogsbody, like my family used me.

          • MynameisBlarney

            Maybe. It’s like they wait until I’m busy as fuck and then chime in with their bright fucking ideas.

          • Anna Elizabeth

            Yeah, I can tell. No respect, no matter how much you’ve earned it.

          • MynameisBlarney

            It’s almost as if they’re so absorbed into their own little worlds, they’re completely oblivious to how busy I am practically running the place.

            GAH.

          • Anna Elizabeth

            Yes, I think that’s it. I had that from Mom & the rest, but I’m finally free now.

        • BeachBum

          I cannot make my profanity do clouds. Is there one neat trick ?

          • MynameisBlarney

            It includes violent flatulence.
            Not for the timid.

    • BadKitty904

      Wth? “The mop and bucket are over there, Dad. Or would you rather deal with these lovely people?”

    • BeachBum

      I don’t know your business but I would take the mop and bucket.

      • MynameisBlarney

        o_0

        Like I said through clenched teeth to my dad.
        I’ll get to it when I’m not busy trying to keep the lights on in this place.

  • alpacapunchbowl

    For some reason the word “gaggle” to describe what should be a functional WH press briefing really bugs me. Kind of like an old job of mine where our daily meetings were referred to as “huddles”.

    • Proud Liberal

      Like a “gaggle of geese”. It is weird.

      • cmd resistor

        I know, the first time I saw it referred to as one of these fake press things I thought it was a joke of some sort.

      • BeachBum

        That has made the most sense to me today.

    • Doug Langley

      So your boss thought that acting like Knute Rockne would build morale?

      • alpacapunchbowl

        Let’s just say morale wasn’t high on this place’s list of priorities.

    • Daniel Hooper

      I agree, but there is an emphasis on the, “should be” part of your statement. And calling it what it is, a clusterfuck, is too on the nose.

      • alpacapunchbowl

        The “should be” was very intentional. Gaggle is just so borderline cutesy-goofy it doesn’t properly express the serious threat the situation poses.

  • BadKitty904

    So. Sphincter is too fat for his briefs?

    • BadKitty904

      Perhaps boxers are in order?

    • JustDon’tSayCovfefe

      Maybe he shouldn’t press them.

  • Daniel Hooper

    “The delicious and sexual Steve Bannon…”

    Dammit, Wonkette! Don’t write stuff like that around lunchtime! I just threw up in my mouth a little…

    • Nockular cavity

      Is he delicious? I don’t know. Do oxycodone and bourbon make a good marinade?

      • JAKvirginia

        Rush says yes.

      • BearDeLaOursistance

        Broadway doesn’t go for booze and pills, but the Reichschancellery sure does…

      • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

        All opiates are kinda bitter, so no.

  • SeeTrain65

    “I don’t want him … you can have him … he’s too fat for me …”

    Arthur Godfrey, eat your heart out.

    • Steve Haughn

      Kudos to the Arthur Godfrey reference? Now we need a ‘Julius LaRosa’ tie in?

      • SeeTrain65

        “Sean, you’re fired. You have no humility.”

  • Anna Elizabeth

    So, we have an Administration that is under investigation for obstructing justice and colluding with a foreign power, they are at war with the media, and fomenting violence among their Grotesquely-stupid supporters.

    • TJ Barke

      I’ve heard this story before…

  • JAKvirginia

    Oh noes! That’s the same reason why Kim Jung Un doesn’t give pressers. Coincidence?

  • Bitter Scribe

    Obama appeared twice on Bill O’Reilly’s show, while Trump’s press secretary won’t even take a question from CNN.

    Remind me again which one is supposed to be the tough guy?

  • Everrett Fanuelli
    • Nockular cavity

      What an ass!

    • TundraGrifter

      If he ever has to haul ass it will take two trips.

      • William Cook for now

        Stealing thiiiis.

        • TundraGrifter

          Just like I did.

      • Résistance Land Shark Ω

        Still one of the best old lines …

        • TundraGrifter

          I stole it from Dolly Parton.

          • Résistance Land Shark Ω

            Sounds right … I heard it as “He’s so big, it takes him two trips to haul ass.”

          • TundraGrifter

            The Raiders had a huge (and not very bright) player named Charles Philyaw. The story was his birthday was July 14th. And 15th . And 16th.

    • Hardly Ideal

      I was just thinking about how he claimed he would be the most physically fit president in history. I guess it’s true if your history starts and ends with Taft.

    • pianoplayer1

      Compare those photos to Obama in the Surf. Who is the fittest? Trump has the figure of a post-menopausal obese female.

      • Invisible Bunyip

        As an obese post-menopausal female… I have to agree with you. Thing is I’m not claiming to be anything else.

      • ahughes798

        You say that like you don’t like post-menopausal obese females. I think he has the figure of a post-manopausal obese male.

  • (((😸)))

    Donald Trump is the second fattest president in American history, second only to Taft (who weighed 335 lbs). Look at the way he slumps forward and waddles around the golf course. You can practically hear him breathing through the photographs.

  • BearDeLaOursistance

    Sean’s been eating way too much covfefe. That shit is so fattening — especially the modern kind that’s made with all that high-fructose corn syrup. Archer Daniels Midland was probably a top campaign donor.

    • JAKvirginia

      That’s why I only serve organic, free-range covfefe. Try Whole Foods. Oh, wait… Amazon has that now. Bummer.

      • ahughes798

        The upside is Whole Foods may get cheaper (I hope.) How do you cook your covfefe?

    • gilderbeast

      >_> soooo I’ve been using covfefe as slang for ass…
      The thought of Spicer tossing Trump’s salad…
      Welp I’ve saved myself from having to eat for the rest of the week

  • Manhattan123

    If fatness is a disqualifier for doing a White House job, then the Lardass-in-Chief should be waddling out of there any day now.

  • cmd resistor

    So will there be a liveblog of today’s press thing? Trump tweeted another thing about N Korea, condemning the brutality of the regime. Counting his “Otto” tweet, that’s 2 in one day.

  • geoffalnutt

    Just look at him!! Big as a house!!

  • SadDemInTex

    OT: but in the WaPo video they never explain why this guy has a giant machete at home (and wields it with amazing skill and confidence). I dunno…it is Florida. (Am I the only one who thinks this might be some kind of gang war? The perps (5) drove from the other side of the state). https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/morning-mix/wp/2017/06/20/watch-this-machete-wielding-fla-homeowner-refusing-to-be-a-robbery-victim/?utm_term=.8c73fa893b85&wpisrc=nl_most-draw14&wpmm=1

    • TundraGrifter

      Doesn’t everybody have a giant machete at home? I inherited a Midwestern corn knife – that sucker would take a leg off.

      • ahughes798

        I have a machete. It clears brush really well. Corn knives are brutal, I’ve seen what happens when you have an accident with one. Yikes!

  • Blueb4sunrise

    Y/N

  • keenanjay

    It takes a Spider Monkey with facts or a Truth Ninja to keep up with speed of Trump’s thought process.

  • Zyxomma

    Skip it.

  • Angela Ruzzo

    I never watch press briefings, I prefer to read about them later, because watching politicians and their flunkies lie badly and repeatedly is bad for my blood pressure. So I am indifferent and will not vote.

    • That’s literally true for me. My wife asked me not to watch any more debates after the 2nd Hillary/Garbage Fire debate, because she watched me watching it, and I apparently turned blood red. True story

  • Longstreet63

    Well, I, for one, did stop giving press briefings when I gained weight. Of course, nobody ever came to mine anyway.

    • Sakonyachen

      I lost weight and stopped holding press briefings. I feel much better.

  • x111e7thst

    Novit enim Dominus qui sunt eiu

    • Covfefe

      I suppose that even if I had a MAGA he’d be suspicious that I was faking it.

    • x111e7thst

      Caedite eos.

    • ahughes798

      A new Eminem album is coming out? Cool!

  • House0fTheBlueLights

    I liked the tweet that called today’s briefing “Proof of Life”

  • I have a candidate to replace him: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YmaqJlP9XKM

  • Wait. This is the same White House staff that accused SNL of “fat shaming” Spicer and Sanders? And was very upset about that?

    • Jukesgrrl

      That sounded like Kellyanne Conway bullshit. The latest remark was Steve Bannon bullshit. The can’t even get their bullshit together.

    • Sojourner Truth

      ..

  • House0fTheBlueLights

    They’re just copying Wonkette, which does not allow comments. Eventually, everyone just copies Wonkette.

    • TundraGrifter

      Today we are all Wonkette.

      • EVERY DAY WE IS ALL WONKETTE……..or something

        • TundraGrifter

          Kenneth – What is the frequency?

          • ahughes798

            In Russia, press briefing hold you.

  • brittany

    So Spicey’s so fat he’s embarrassed by what it’s done to his voice? Damn, he must be fatter than Bannon or Trump now!

    • ahughes798

      It was a lame attempt at sarcasm by Bannon. Very lame. Because both the President and Donald Trump are pushing, if not over, 300 lbs.

  • Les Appentis De la résistance

    Wait until we get to the point where Trump justs pukes out a stream of consciousness for four hours on our TV screens like Hugo Chavez used to. I guess he’ll need to nationalize the media first so maybe by Christmas.

    • TundraGrifter

      Four hours? What a weenie! I remember when Fidel Castro could go six or eight. Easy.

  • Panika MCD

    I don’t get the “he’s gained weight” excuse. I mean, he’s behind a fucking podium. is Bannon ever pictured behind a podium which would hide his belly and have a sort of slimming effect? no. but, then again, a podium would not camouflage Bannon’s syphilitic wounds seeping all over the place. if they really had problems with rotund-Americans representing the administration, what’s Sarah Huckabee Sanders been doing this whole time? she has a more official press role than K-Con on the Cob. and, to be more firm, would they have put the only state senator (or legislator for that matter) I’ve actively wished bad things to happen to (I know, we’re going to do it with votes and some archived footage showing why I have these unholy desires, I’m not actually going to do anything to him) right behind Tsarina Short Fingers at that Austin rally while he rubbed his belly like he was about to birth his very own Trumpster-fire out his mouth hole? I would think not.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/54bb801b392e7c33cfc1b07219492d323e79fe0a5c83f018c558e2e198fa6c98.jpg

    • TundraGrifter

      “Does this podium make me look fat?”

  • TA

    Send the interns! I would fucking LOVE for Spicer or Trump to look out upon a sea of 19-year-olds instead of the professionals.

    • TakingAmes

      This is what I’ve been saying. Gets the interns some “experience,” but we don’t have to pretend there is any actual news coming out of that press room.

  • Lyly Sirivong

    The press briefings have been pretty much useless anyway, except for comedy value.

  • Celtic_Gnome

    If the WH does away with press briefings and press conferences, the news media still has newspapers, magazines, websites, and 24/7 cable channels that must be filled with something. They could report that, according to sources in the WH, the President spends all day in his bathrobe, shuffling through the family quarters mumbling incoherently, and not recognizing close associates and family members, and the only way for the WH to counter that would be through Donnie’s tweets, which would probably juts confirm in everyone’s minds the accuracy of that report.

  • Jukesgrrl

    Man with sores all over his face thinks he’s funny.

  • Jo Mathie

    The Daily Mail is a joke even here in the UK. Does anyone know what is going on in American politics apart from the fact that Donald was happy about his birthday?I mean the incompetence was funny for a few weeks, but if you put all of this in a novel it would be a DNF because it sounds so stupid.

    • ahughes798

      In your opinion, is the Guardian a good newspaper?

      • Jo Mathie

        I read The Independent, so can’t really give a proper opinion, it’s certainly better than the Daily Mail, The Sun and whatever is going on with the Star though.

  • TundraGrifter

    I think they should invite DC’ver Spicer to a press-debriefing.

    They would gang tackle and then pants him.

  • Truly Madly Derply
    • Truly Madly Derply

      Though, truthfully, either one of them could use their chins as an accordion folder or a place to keep their toll booth change.

  • Sakonyachen

    I vote yes!

  • Estiveo

    Please keep in mind that Bannon is not being hypocritical. He’s not fat himself…that’s his swollen liver hanging over his belt.

  • Jeff Mc Donald

    I know this is crazy talk, but it seems like maybe, and I could be way off base here, but maybe the White House has some things they just don’t want to talk about. Or, and this is way out there in “conspiracy nut” territory, but it’s at least theoretically possible, that they are trying to control the narrative. Even more far fetched would be the idea that no recordings or video would allow them to later state that something wasn’t said, that was in fact said at one of these gatherings. I know! Ridiculous!

    • Vacuous Virgina

      Inconceivable 😅😅😅😅😅

  • phoenix00

    > chunky Spice

    And I thought that Indian split pea soup I had for lunch was chunky…

  • Heyzeus Ahchay

    I keep hoping one of the gaggle of “journos” will get fed up enough that she — won’t be a he, I’m sure — will just ask Sphincter, after he gives another one of his nonanswers, “Well, what the fuck is it that you do know, you dumb motherfucker, and how soon do you fucking think you will have the courage to say it?” What is he going to do: NOT answer her next question or have her thrown out so she can’t ask any more questions he’s not going to answer anyway? The media needs some balls, and their reps prove every day they have none.

    • TA

      She’d get thrown out, but she’d never have to pay for her drinks again.

      • Keith Taylor

        She’d get tons of right wing hate mail but also cheering crowds carrying her shoulder high and demanding she get an award.

  • #FatheadedSeanSphinctah.

    -_-

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